#literally the first thing i saw upon starting up my computer today. the SCREAM i scrumpt

[meowthiroth]

had the funniest thing happen earlier. I got home from work & turned on my computer, and I guess windows 11 must've added a new lockscreen widget that tells you the local weather. like, ok, my phone also has that, that's pretty cool.

but WHY did it set my location to HORNEYTOWN

[peachyysugaa]

gravity

– nasa operator!sim jaeyun x astronaut!gn! reader

miles of sky and space doesn't stop gravity from pulling him to you.

genre: strangers/coworkers to lovers, fluff

wc: 2.7k

warnings: 3rd person pov, probably inaccurate astronaut/nasa lingo sorry i'm a chemistry major LOL, one curse word, couple of time skips, food cw

a/n: yea it's another fluff one-shot 😎 finally a jake one-shot! i hope y'all enjoy this i took a while to write this but i'm p proud of how it turned out despite no proofread.

♞──────────────────────────♞

time on earth: 3:43 am

one of nasa's star rookies sits inside the mission room, monitoring the ISS diligently. today, sim jaeyun was assigned to keep watch on their astronauts as well as the station itself. it's supposed to be a reward for performing well on the latest calculations, but he can't help but find it a little boring. he flips through the cameras quickly, as if trying to find something new.

'yeah right, like anything happens in space,' he mumbles in his head. adjusting his thin glasses and stretching his chair to feel just a tad bit more alive, jake takes a look at one of the three astronauts on board as they float to the window. it seems to be l/n y/n, a rookie who excelled at their simulation tests and the one they say has stars in their eyes themselves.

the astronaut peeks over their shoulder surprised. they make swimming motions to reach over the intercom, which makes jake laugh a little. finally, they push the button and make a reply. "yes houston, this is l/n. is something wrong?"

the astronaut peeks over their shoulder surprised. they make swimming motions to reach over the intercom, which makes jake laugh a little. finally, they push the button and make a reply. "yes houston, this is l/n. is something wrong?"

the astronaut peeks over their shoulder surprised. they make swimming motions to reach over the intercom, which makes jake laugh a little. finally, they push the button and make a reply. "yes houston, this is l/n. is something wrong?"

now jake hadn't planned this far, but since he was already doing it, he might as well go through with it. "do you miss earth?"

he can see through the cameras that y/n wasn't expecting that question as their eyes widen. someway somehow, jaeyun was able to see the stars in their eyes everyone gushed about. maybe it was even better because they were actually living with the stars in space at the time.

"i-i don't know if we should be talking about this, but yea, i do miss earth," they finally reply. "not that being in space isn't fun! i just can't help myself especially since i can see the planet spinning in front of my eyes..."

it's silent for a bit, making the astronaut worry. "h-hello? houston?"

jake blinks before shaking his head and hurried to reply. "y-yes! sorry, i was just caught up in how lonely you sound?"

again, an awkward silence stills. the nasa operator curses to himself, realizing how awkward he must have made it and scrambling to fix the mistake. "i'm really sorry i didn't mean to overstep my boundaries!" he rushes. "my name's sim jaeyun, by the way. people know me better as jake."

"sim jaeyun? rising star sim jaeyun?" they owlishly repeat.

"that's me," he states back, rubbing the back of his neck. "i guess you've heard my name."

he sees the astronaut nod in camera before they're absentmindedly spinning circles midair. "you're my age, and you're already working in nasa headquarters. quite a feat would spread around, you know?"

jake laughs and shakes his head at their comment. "you say that like you're not star rookie l/n y/n."

at the sound of their twinkling laugh, jake's eyes perk up to capture the joyful astronaut holding their stomach on the cameras. "i can tell we're a lot alike, jake," you say with a smile stretching across your face.

it turns out he likes hearing his name off their lips albeit via nasa intercoms. calming down the beating of his heart, jake starts off the first of many late night conversations. "so would you like to hear what's happening on earth?"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 2:26 am

"—and layla was having such a good time meeting other puppies at the park this morning!" jake laughs out with the rookie astronaut laughing with them on the other side of the intercom, separated by thousands of miles in between them. they've been talking like this over the system for weeks now, practically a little over a month. safe to say, the nasa operator was developing feelings for them, perhaps already smitten. sunghoon in the other unit said something about being whipped?

"i wonder how she would react seeing my puppy," they reply.

"when you come back to earth, the first thing we'll do is have them meet on a puppy playdate," he tells them earnestly.

"just layla and rosie on a date? what about us?" he could hear the smirk in their voice even though they weren't next to him.

"i-i-huh? what?" jake stammers. he heard the smirk, but did he hear the words properly? for one, he's not sure they know what he looks like. does that matter to them? without realizing it, his hands are taking off his glasses and fiddling with them.

"are you nervous?"

"hah, what makes you think that?" jake asks nervously.

"jake, i can hear you playing with your glasses."

"shit," he curses, and an endearing giggle is heard on the other side.

"i like you, let's make it a date between us too," he hears, his face gradually becoming hotter.

the chance to confess to his crush is literally handed to him on a silver platter, but he's too busy acting like a middle schooler trying to give chocolates to the person he likes. it's unusual for him to feel like this, his heart's beating way too fast for him to think, and he has to cough to calm down.

"it's a date then." a happy hum is the response he gets, which does nothing to calm the beating of his heart but ignites a new warmth in him. "hey, wait a minute, do you even know what i look like?"

"i kinda remember, but does that even matter?"

"i don't know what if you don't like my face?"

"please, my roommate told me you're on par with that sunghoon guy, and he's known as the prince of his division."

"yeah, but-"

"don't take this the wrong way, jake, but shush." he's sure that if they were here in person, they would put a finger on his lips. it seemed like a(n) y/n thing to do based on the time they've gotten to know each other. "i don't care what you look like. the connection we have together is enough, don't you think?"

he knows they're right, but it doesn't stop the sassy compliment from tumbling out of his mouth. "well, we have a connection and i know you're pretty and smart and funny."

perhaps it's just the color of the screen, but jake swears he saw a blush on their face. it makes him proud after he had somewhat embarrassed himself earlier.

"good night, jake," y/n playfully scoffs at him.

"good night, y/n."

'what a night,' jake thinks to himself with a stupid grin spreading across his face as he prepares the systems for the person on the next shift.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 9:18 am

today is the day. today the pod that stayed at the ISS for 3 months was coming back to earth, and everyone was on their toes. jake was currently scanning the computer calculations from any errors, clutching the paper and burning holes in it with his eyes.

"you good there, bro?" he doesn't need to lift up his head to know that it's sunghoon.

"i have to make sure these are perfect," jake replies in a tone that screamed don't-bother-me.

he feels his coworker's hand pat his shoulder in reassurance. "relax, jake. they'll get here just fine."

jake's whole body sighs when he takes a deep breath. "yeah, i know. i'll just check one more."

his friend offers a comforting smile and one more pat before leaving him to perform his own duties for the landing.

for this last check, jake takes it upon himself to calculate the angle in which the pod enters the earth's atmosphere by hand as a safety precaution. his head jumbles with all the physics equations necessary as his hand complains by cramping from how fast he's calculating.

upon finishing, he looks at the two final numbers side by side. "same to the 5th decimal place," jake affirms to himself.

"great, does that mean you're ready to turn it in, mr. sim?"

turning around abruptly to the sound of the voice, jake finds his supervisor and rushes to grab all the papers for presentation. "yes, ma'am!"

a smile graces her face as she takes the materials from him and flips through the calculations. "good work," she finally says. "our astronauts will get home safely thanks to you."

it's like a weight lifted off his shoulders when he hears those words. jake lets out a sigh of relief once his supervisor walks away and tells him to wait for further instruction. he folds into his chair, thinking about how soon he'll finally be able to see y/n in person.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 9:45 am

"everyone, standby!" jake's supervisor announced. the whole command center took a deep breath as they tuned into the astronauts, soon to be leaving the ISS via pod.

"l/n, song, johnson, do you read me?"

"loud and clear, houston," y/n l/n replies in crisp audio.

"get ready to launch then, atlantis ii."

"copy that, houston." the sounds of buckling and buttons flicking can be heard on the other end as jake's palms sweat.

"3... 2... 1... launch!" and they're detached from the ISS, launched into the endless ocean of stars and dust that is space.

"coordinates and angles, houston?"

"atlantis ii, the speed, angle, and coordinates at which you are to enter..." and jake hears his checked numbers be repeated to them. "...you'll be dropping in the gulf of mexico."

"copy that, houston. ready to enter earth's atmosphere in 3... 2... 1... entering!"

the audio delivers the rough shaking as the temperature regulation beeps steadily.

"your temperatures are in the right range, atlantis ii."

it's a rough 5 or something minutes, jake's not sure of the time. he just knows his armchair is having a field day with all the gripping he's doing. he can hear the shaking of the pod driven by the weight and the acceleration of gravity once it takes its pull on the astronauts' pod.

"prepare for impact, atlantis ii!"

everyone is rising up to see the camera pan to the oceanview team who waits for the pod to enter.

"initiating parachute!" and there! the pod appears on the command center's screen in high definition, the mic picking up some of the breeze of the mexican gulf. it enters the ocean with a large plop! and everyone is standing up and cheering.

"successful landing, everyone! congratulations!!"

sunghoon is coming to jake and lifting him out of the chair, engulfing him in the joy that comes from returning the astronauts home. he didn't realize he was staring stupidly at the screen with a blank look and still sitting.

"dude, we did it!" at the sound of his friend's voice, jake mirrors his friend's smile and they embrace each other.

"we did it!" jake replies. soon, he'll finally be able to see y/n in person.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 8:04 am

the next day when he clocks in for work, it's calmer and more exciting. jake can feel it in the atmosphere as the nasa operator walks through headquarters.

he makes his way towards the rehabilitation center for their astronauts, his heart unable to calm down the rapid rate of beating. he hears it before he sees it: the bell-like laughter jake was so familiar with, the one he associated with late nights. his feet is pulled towards the sound like gravity, his strides getting longer and his steps having a bounce to it.

jake hears his name being called happily, and he turns to face the voice with an unstoppable grin before taking steps towards the astronaut going through rehabilitation.

"hey, gravity got you bad, i see."

they laugh joyfully. "i'll be good in about a month or 2—i'm pretty quick at this."

"i have no doubt about that."

the two are silent for a bit as they do a few more crunches, jake crouching down in front of their feet to meet them. it's nice and comfortable between the two as he helps them go through their exercises.

"so about that date..." he starts off, watching as their eyes sparkle like stars upon hearing his phrase. his mouth starts to hang a little, loosening up to have words spilling out without his complete knowledge. "wow... your eyes really do have stars in them..."

they stop as they finish a crunch and reaches out to close his mouth with an eye roll. "close your mouth first, sim jaeyun."

"okay, but what about that date?"

"we're getting it. just wait a week or so when i can walk properly," they say with a teasing smile. jake can't help but to smile back.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 2:57 pm

the only thing keeping his nerves calm is layla. the golden retriever was far from nervous as she sat wagging her tail happily with her tongue out.

"jake!!" he hears from the voice he's come to love listening to over the past few months. looking up from layla while holding her leash tightly, he spots the person he's been waiting for and he's mesmerized, left breathless by what he sees.

a light summery fit adorns their figure as they dash towards him with a puffy pomsky dog equally excited. their smiles are bright and sparkles adorn their eyes as usual, but it doesn't make the effect any less beautiful. they slow down, owner and dog panting a little.

immediately, layla gets up from her sitting position to greet the new guests, starting to sniff the two of them.

y/n laughs as they squat down and let the golden sniff them and their hand before giving her warm pets. "hi layla! i'm y/n, and this is rosie."

the two dogs sniff each other in circles, but soon enough they're bouncing and pouncing each other as if they've been best friends since litter days.

"they're getting along so well, and we haven't even gotten to the park yet," y/n comments with a giggle.

"should we get going?" jake offers. they reply with a nod and holds their leash in one hand, grabbing jake's with the other.

if he's taken by surprise, he doesn't show it, but inside, his heart is pounding more than ever before and his head is screaming in joy. the pair walk together hand-in-hand towards the park with two even happier pups prancing ahead of them.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ゜・・゜゜・*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

time on earth: 4:31 pm

the two dogs are getting a bit tired, it seems, as they walk back to jake and y/n who were talking comfortably, y/n's head rested on his shoulder.

"look who's back from playing," y/n says as they ruffle rosie and layla's head, jake following suit.

"let's go get some ice cream for us and puppucinos for them?" jake suggests.

"ooh! that sounds good!" the pups seem to like the idea too, wagging their tails once more and looking at their owners with puppy eyes. jake thinks he's surrounded by three pairs of puppy eyes as he shakes his head in endearing disbelief.

"let's go then."

once they get to the shops, order, and receive their foods, the four of them sit down and enjoy their treats. the owners laugh at their dogs when they see them lap up their puppucinos with so much excitement and vigor, getting the cream all over their faces.

as the sun sets, it casts its glowing light onto the astronaut-in-rehabilitation, making jake's eyes move onto them. he notices a smudge of ice cream at the corner of their lips and without thinking moves in to kiss it off. y/n blinks their starry eyes at him, reminding him of their first "meeting" over intercom and camera screens.

"i like you," he blurts out. "can i... kiss you?"

"i thought you would never ask," they reply with a wide grin, leaning in to press their lips together before he does.

it's like gravity pulls them towards each other because they can't ever seem to get enough of one another, no matter how far apart they are.

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 10: 2x14 Wolf in the Fold

Watched Wolf in the Fold last night. The only thing I really remembered about this ep going in was that it was a Scotty ep. Which is true but also… slightly misleading. Also that it had to do with Jack the Ripper—which is more true than I remembered!

A decadent intro… I get why Spock isn’t here but I actually DO think he would be into it.

Matchmaker Kirk lol.

Scotty is so awkward. This is the other detail I remembered from this ep, actually: how Scotty wants to applaud using his hands no matter what. (Even with those cool lights RIGHT THERE lol). Old Aberdeen pub crawler…

This is honestly such a bizarre back story: Scotty got a concussion because someone who happened to be a woman made a mistake and now not only is his head all funny but he has a “total resentment toward women.” Like okay, nothing creepily sexist in that concept. Also –they ultimately barely even use it! I know it’s the implied rationale for why he would suddenly start murdering women and also not remembering it but it’s like such a flimsy excuse that they never say it out loud in so many words for fear it should sound too stupid. Which it would. Honestly, you really only need the concussion imo. Why go into the weird misogyny thing at all?

And now Kirk and Bons head off to a brothel, giving me a total resentment toward men.

Nice eerie fog out here. Very Aberdeenian.

Okay, so this woman was stabbed a dozen times but she only screamed once? And then a second later, Scotty had somehow teleported several feet away, still holding the knife? He’s good at his job but he’s not that good. This is already deeply suspicious.

“Therapeutic shore leave.” Trying to cure his hatred of ladies lmao.

So this weird little bald man, Hengist, from Rigel IV. Is he an alien? I suppose he must be. Rigellians are a race, as we know from Journey to Babel. It’s not always clear to me which groups of people are Earth colonists who have migrated to or been born on other planets and which are humanoid aliens.

The Aurelians are a gentle, harmless people. Cute. I like these aliens.

I wish we could hire aliens to be our administrators. Alien Overlord and Taylor.

“I’ll be taking over, since I am the highest official.” He out-officialed him.

I like this guy and his slightly creepy empath priestess wife. I feel like Spock would like them, too.

Speaking of: Spock in the captain’s chair. Hot.

I don’t get how this planet is the only space port around. Like… could not any planet be a space port? What does that even mean?

Oh no, a woman with the lie detector machine! She must be incompetent and/or to be despised.

I love Sybo’s outfit. Her hair and jewelry too. Honestly just a great head-to-toe look.

Another murder! Sorry but this one is on the Aurelian for just leaving the murder weapon out there unattended.

Generally speaking, the costume and set people are doing allllll the work in this episode.

Hengist went to look for suspects and he came up with the victim’s father and fiancé?? He’s not even trying lol. Anyway, he obviously did it.

How can you NOT tell if a lock was picked or not? I mean I know McCoy is a doctor, not a locksmith, but come on. It can’t be that ambiguous.

Spooky mumbo-jumbo.

Interesting that Spock doesn’t trust the mumbo-jumbo either. I guess he only approves of it when it’s Vulcan.

When Sybo says “monstrous evil” the camera is looking right at Hengist. Not suspicious at all. He’s only clearly railroading Scotty, looked right at the second victim before she was killed, was in the perfect position to take the murder weapon after it was carelessly left about, and is the most obvious non-Scotty suspect here.

I love how loyal Bones is. He literally saw Scotty holding Sybo and the knife with blood on his hands and is like “It’s impossible he could have done it.”

So many of the “truth discovery” devices on TOS are truly creepy. Like they’re all clear plot devices, and for that reason depicted as completely reliable, and the more completely reliable they are, the more deeply disturbing they become upon any reflection at all.

That’s a pretty computer though. All those pretty flashing lights! And it runs on floppy disks.

I literally just remembered what happened.

“Scotty, lie to me, how old are you?” / “Twenty-two, Sir.” Yeah, I’d say that’s a lie.

So like this allegedly all-powerful computer is literally just a lie detector. That’s it! A lie detector that picks up on psychological signs of lying, just like our lie detectors today. I mean… you could have just said that straight out. All they do is show what a person believes to be true, so in the case where someone truly doesn’t remember something, the usefulness is… limited.

My mom suggested a Vulcan mind meld which, actually, would pretty much solve the problem! But for once Spock actually treats it like something serious and not to be thrown out as a solution to all problems at the merest suggestion.

Someone needs to do a fashion line based entirely on the Argellian outfits.

Spock is internally eye-rolling at all this drama. I feel like he’s a real advocate for the computers today. That’s like… really his only role.

The computer’s linguistics banks don’t know what this word means? Maybe we should get Uhura on the case.

Plot twist: the killer was Jack the Ripper the WHOLE TIME! The last one you’d ever expect.

I don’t get how the computer made the leap from Redjac to Jack the Ripper since that is not a real word and no one outside of this episode of TOS has ever used it for Jack the Ripper.

“Everyone feeds on death, even vegetarians.” So dark, Spock. So emo.

Aw, alien creatures that derive sustenance from love. Adorable. There should have been an episode devoted to them. (Wait a minute…. Idea coming on…)

Speaking of gaseous cloud aliens…the Companion?

This episode really relies a lot on the computer to provide information and otherwise move the plot along.

Kirk keeps ignoring everyone to just talk to Spock.

“Cloud the issue” lol that’s a good pun. (Already can’t remember who said it but… point stands.)

The cloud entity feeds on women because they are more easily and deeply terrified. That sounds fake but okay. It’s also not in keeping with what Sybo said, is it? She mentioned a hatred of women. That’s not the same as finding women useful.

Hmm, when do we get our Martian Colonies, @ perseverance?

Oh, Rigel IV, you say? There seems to be a Rigellian right here!

This whole history of the entity is bizarre. The first killing sprees (that we know of) are on Earth, and Kirk specifically says that when man left Earth to explore, he took this with him. Does that mean… the cloud creature/entity originated on Earth? Truly a bizarre hypothesis, when you think about it.

Are you the entity, Sir?

There is actually very little Scotty in this Scotty-centric episode.

Lol the knife originates with the hill people of Rigel IV. What is this, Deliverance?

Omg Kirk punched the entity right out of that man!

So to summarize: “Jack the Ripper is actually a gaseous cloud that is capable of infecting the computer system of the Enterprise, thus hijacking the whole ship” is the basic, wacky concept of this episode.

This tranquilizer could quiet a volcano. Where was it during the volcano scene in STID hmm?

Kirk’s plan to keep people from being scared by the maniacal voice of the entity: Tranquilize the entire ship. That’s why he’s paid the big bucks.

Yet another twist on the old Kirk v. Computer plot. Time to use Math to defeat it.

Kirk is so unimpressed with the entity. “Eh, shut that off.” He would not be moved by a haunted house.

“This is the first time I’ve heard a malfunction threaten us.” Sulu can man his post AND be funny; he’s multi-talented.

Kirk and Spock don’t need tranquilizers because they’re smart enough to know this high-pitched voice yelling random threats just isn’t actually scary.

Kirk is really insistent that Sulu man his frickin’ post!

Oh no, not PI!! My nemesis, PI!

I’m really living for Sulu here.

If the entity entered a tranquilized person, it might take up knitting. I gotta say, that doesn’t make any sense as a plot point but I like it anyway.

That was a very efficient tranquilizing job! Everyone in a 400+ person ship in like 10 minutes? Get the medical team on the Enterprise in charge of the vaccine distribution stat.

Kirk just outright assumes that Spock won’t be a hospitable entity choice. And he’s not even wrong! The entity chooses the dead body over Spock or Kirk. It knows when it’s not wanted.

Hengist has been revived!

The entity is honestly, truly hilarious. Die, die, everybody die! Kill! Kill you all! Maniacal laughter! All while being carried by a still utterly unimpressed Kirk down the halls of the ship.

Spock’s like “get out of the way, you tranquilized idiot. Got some entity-scattering to do.”

“I gave them a pretty big shot, Jim!” Think you might have slightly overdone it, Bones? You didn’t need to make everyone useless for 6 hours for a problem that was solved in 5 minutes!

This is one of those moments, Kirk trying to get Spock to see the pretty ladies with him, when Spock seems super gay. Like, I don’t even think he is, that’s not my reading of him, and I also assume that wasn’t the intention here, but that’s just so clearly how it reads.

Aw, Kirk doesn’t want to go the strip club alone. Poor bb.

Weird how Lt. Leslie was in this when he died in the last episode.

Overall, I’d actually have to say that was a very crack-y episode. I liked the ending the best because it was so ridiculous.

What I don’t understand, in addition to whether or not the entity was really supposed to be from Earth, was how it came to be Hengist. Like, it can enter and leave bodies (or computers) at will, so perhaps it just entered Hengist, a normal Rigellian, at some point. But if that’s so, putting him on the transporter and scattering him into space was a pretty cruel thing to do. Also, why did he die (or appear to die) when the entity wasn’t in him? That implies he is the entity’s physical form. But then, first of all, how is also a Rigellian? Like did the entity mate with a Rigellian? Did the entity take over a baby Rigellian? Did the entity just claim to be Rigellian but is really just humanoid in its physical form—we did establish that some aliens, like this one, or creatures or whatever, are gaseous sometimes and solid others, so maybe its solid form is humanoid. Which would fit well with it originating in Earth, although that also brings a new and perhaps unintentional layer of creepiness to the story. I have to assume that’s the situation, but still, wild. And it doesn’t explain this: why does Hengist “die” when the entity “leaves” him, as opposed to just disappear entirely when the entity changes form??

Anyway, I know I’m overthinking this very wacky premise. Overall, I think the episode was fine. It didn’t have enough Scotty (for being a “Scotty episode”) and it changed genres an awful lot for 50 minutes. There was a tad too much misogyny going on. And overall I didn’t feel like the characters—even Kirk, and in actuality this was a Kirk episode much more than a Scotty episode, and purposefully so—were at their most interesting. Tbh Sulu ultimately stole the show in the final minutes.

Next up is the Trouble with Tribbles! Also a funny episode but at least undeniably purposefully so!

[kachinnate]

for the ask thing: Trust Issues + Darkfic + “Do not tell anyone you saw this.” go wild

send me prompts!

16 (trust issues) + f (darkfic) + 38 (”Do not tell anyone you saw this.”)

Today feels.. off. 

  And not in the floaty, surreal ‘oh-my-god-it’s-happening’ weirdness that comes with it being his last first day of school. Jared genuinely felt like something, something, wasn’t fucking right, but he couldn’t pinpoint what the hell it was. 

  It was probably something stupid, like. Something he maybe forgot to do in his morning routine, or whatever. 

  But regardless, it was off-putting and he kind of hated it. 

  He couldn’t shake it, try as he might. The day kept going, and he kept feeling more.. just, misplaced? The only person he could imagine talking to about it was Evan, but he hadn’t seen the kid anywhere today. 

 @TheInsanelyCool_JK [8:45am] very lame of u to chicken out on the /first day/ 

@TheInsanelyCool_JK [9:58am] ….okay wait are you seriously not showing up evan wtf 

   He doubted that that was the weird thing. Or, at least, the only weird thing. The weird thing that was off-putting. Evan not being around or talking to him was, unfortunately, not something super out of the ordinary. 

  Anyway. 

  Sitting alone at lunch would’ve undoubtedly made him feel even worse (unconsciously, whether or not he wanted to admit it, he had been planning on sitting with Evan), which is how Jared found himself walking to the computer lab. If you could believe it, his AP calc teacher was the type to assign homework on the first day, due by Thursday, so he figured he might as well get a start on it since he wasn’t doing anything else, right?

  The first sign that he should’ve turned right back around and walked his happy ass out of there was the printer choosing the moment he walked in to whirr to life, scaring the absolute shit out of him. 

  “Jesus,” he hissed, jerking back a little, watching the little lights on the printer start blinking. It made a bunch of clicking noises, as printers do, before spitting out a single sheet of paper and then shutting off again. 

  Jared blinked, glancing up. 

  ..well. It didn’t look like anyone else was here. 

  Maybe it was someone from, like, a nearby classroom that connected to the wrong printer? 

  He couldn’t tell you why he felt the need to pick up the paper to see what it was. 

  Cue the second sign that he shouldn’t be in here.

  …

  dear connor murphy,

stop killing yourself stopstop stop that’s why i can’t get OUT of here, it keeps repeating and i ca nt get it to stop and its your fault it has to be what else could it fucking be???

just don’t!! and stay away from me!!! 

i dont know what else to try anymore i thin/k this might be pointless 

writing the letter doesn’t help and not writing the letter doesnt help i dont know how tto help you you wont LISTEn when i try to explain it t o you or talk you down i just want you out of my life and i want out of THIS for fucks saake 

i dont know why you’d think this but if you’re connor’s parents he didn’t write this letter, ple ase leave me alone please stay away from me 

sincerely,  me

... 

Oookay. Alright. Awesome. That’s not fucking terrifying or ominous at all. 

  Someone making fun of Connor Murphy wasn’t anything new at all, but.. this was on a whole other fucking level, right? What the fuck was going on? 

  “..Jared?!” 

  Cue his second almost heart attack. 

  Jared flinched back, eyes immediately snapping up to the source of the voice. It had sounded familiar the moment he registered someone else was speaking to him, and sure enough, upon looking up, it was, in fact, Evan. 

  “Jesus fucking Christ, dude, you can’t sneak up on people like that,” Jared snapped, the free hand not holding the piece of paper moving to rest over his heart. It’s thudding like fucking crazy in there, if just hearing it in his ears wasn’t telling enough. 

  When Evan doesn’t say anything, Jared takes a moment to actually look at him, look back at the wildly terrified eyes staring back at him, and..

  There’s kind of a lot to take in. 

  Namely, the fact that Evan’s arm is in a cast, and that it looks like he hasn’t slept in days. His typical anxious energy has been replaced with, like, this crazed hysterical panic, because the second-hand feel Jared is getting off of him is, like, scaring him. A lot. 

  There’s dark circles under his eyes. And he’s shaking badly, like Jared had been the one to almost give him heart failure in the middle of the computer lab. 

  “What’s wrong with you?” Jared manages, trying to mask the unease settling over every inch of him. 

  Evan blinks hard, eyes flickering from Jared, and then to the paper in Jared’s hand. 

  “I.. did you get that from..?” Evan completely ignores the question, twitchy eyes flicking up to the printer and then back to the page. 

  “I..” Jared glances down at the paper, and then warily back up to Evan. “This.. is this yours?” 

  Evan doesn’t respond verbally. He does, however, rip the paper out of Jared’s hands. 

  “What the fuck?!” Jared hisses, the quick action again scaring the shit out of him. He can’t even tell anymore if he’s being unnecessarily jumpy, but he’d like to say that all things considered it’s pretty fucking warranted. “Evan, what the hell is going on? What is that?” 

  “Don’t..” Evan starts to say, taking trembling steps back. He has no reason to look as horrified as Jared feels, panicked eyes looking back and forth between the paper and Jared. “I.. I don’t think this will.. it’ll.. change anything.. He’s not.. you’re..?” 

  He murmurs other shit too, under his breath. Jared can’t hear him. 

  Jared needs to get out of here, literally every nerve in his body is screaming at him to run, but at the same time he knows that he has no reason to be scared of Evan, it’s fucking Evan. 

  Right? 

  “Evan?” Jared tries again, taking a very hesitant step forward. 

  Evan must have decided on something, because his wide eyes suddenly snap back up to Jared and stay there. “Do not tell anyone you saw this,” he says, voice low. 

  “What are you fucking talking about, dude—?!”

  Evan shoves past Jared, the computer lab door slamming shut behind him a few seconds later.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “A.N.N.I.E.”

A.N.N.I.E. (Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity) is an outdated android model that emerged on the market two years ago. The Joker purchased her as a toy for his son not knowing she will become the recipient of desperate attempts to keep Y/N with him. After the woman’s unexpected death, experiments meant to transfer her conscience inside Annie failed yet The King of Gotham couldn’t part with the only thing that reminded him of someone he actually cared about.

“Can you fix her?” The Joker asks the two programmers that have been assessing the android for the past 15 minutes.

“Hard to tell sir, but we are trying to determine what triggered the malfunction,” Zariah points at the 4 laptop screens simultaneously running diagnostics. “Recently there’s been a spike in flaws regarding A.N.N.I.E. models; after all they were released 2 years ago. I would recommend acquiring the most current technology…”

“No need to!” J bitterly cuts him off. “Just fix her!”

“We will do our best, sir!” Mickel reassures The King of Gotham: his wretched temper might interfere with today’s agenda and the two hackers simply can’t afford it.  

“Your best is not enough,” The Joker growls. “She cornered my son last night and almost crushed him against the wall. I had to use manual override to shut her down. That’s not typical machine behavior, is it?!”

“No sir, although I’ve heard of similar incidents in the past months. If it continues, Annie prototype will be pulled off the market soon,” Zariah informs.

“Her name‘s not Annie,” The Clown Prince of Crime interrupts the unwanted advice. “Her name’s Y/N!”

Awkward silence and Kase’s voice resonates from upstairs.

“Daddy?... Daddy?...”

“My son’s awake; I’ll be back,” J abandons the two men in a hurry and stumbles on the numerous cables connecting the laptops to the cyborg on his way out.

“Goddammit!”, he huffs through his clenched teeth before vanishing around the corner.

“That was fucking weird,” Mickel whispers. “What does he means her name is not A.N.N.I.E.?! Am I crazy? Is this not Artificial Non-Neurological Intelligent Entity sitting in that chair?!”

“Of course it is,” Zariah confesses in low tone. “He gives me the creeps too how he thinks she’s in there.”

“What do you mean “she”?” the obvious question follows.

“Check those cords,” Zariah urges and continues: “You noticed he corrected me with the name for the pile of rubbish.”

“Yeah,” the other guy begins typing a bunch of configurations while listening to the scoop.

“Y/N used to take care of his kid. Nobody can say who she really was: some believe she might have even been the mother, that her and Mister Joker were together. Others swear the little boy called her auntie; maybe she actually was Mister J’s sibling. Who the hell knows? She was a strange woman and she looked… different also,” Zariah’s gaze circles the premises to make sure their employer is not eavesdropping.

“No shit!” Mickel frowns at the statistics popping up on the monitors.

“Yeah, I saw her a few times, gave me the creeps. Something was off with her, you just could tell. Mister J always had jerks working for him and I guess they clashed with Y/N quite often: it got so bad they dared planning a prank that ended horribly. Do you know the warehouse on 14th street? The 6 stories one?”

“No.”

“Well, supposedly it happened there: Mister J was out of town and had no clue about the scheme plotted without his consent. The crew took his son on the roof and threatened they will toss him off the building if she doesn’t jump instead.”

“And?!” Mickel halts his typing, intrigued.

“She jumped… … they didn’t think she would.”

“Holy crap! I had no idea!”

“Dude, it was a disaster!” Zariah shrugs depicting the facts. “Y/N splattered all over the concrete, broken to pieces… Despite the severe injuries, she didn’t die immediately: she was in a coma for almost a month before passing away. Mister J had Annie already, he probably bought her as a toy for Kase when it first emerged on the market. The rumor is that while Y/N was in a coma he kidnapped scientists and forced them to work on a senseless project: transferring her conscience inside Annie.”

“You’re shitting me!” Mickel exclaims at the insane disclosure.

“Nope.”

“Can’t be done; it’s impossible!”

“And who’d dare explain the obvious to him, huh? Not the researchers he killed the moment she stopped breathing if you get my drift.”

“That’s messed up!” Mickel forcefully exhales, infinitely more nervous about being at The Penthouse for the moment.

“Do you remember the serial murders that shook Gotham 3 months ago?” Zariah has more gossip for his partner. “It was Mister J hunting down every single person that was on the roof the day Y/N jumped.”

“We shouldn’t be here,” the anxious Mickel shrugs. “Maybe we should abandon our mission.”

“Bulshit! They’ll pay us double over anything he offers so don’t be a pussy! Speaking of, you should assemble the guns prior to his return!”

Mickel is reluctant to the whole scenario, yet he compiles the two guns out of items resembling computer parts scattered in their suitcases: that’s how they were able to deceive security.

“Done,” he stashes one finished weapon under his jacket, offering the other to Zariah.

“Remain calm and we’ll be ok,” the latest mumbles. “Let’s pretend we’re here to repair this junk.”

A couple more minutes pass by and The Joker’s presence alongside his offspring makes the two guys cringe.

The little boy hides behind his father’s legs, shyly glancing the android’s way.

“Don’t be scared,” J grumbles. “She’s in power saving mode, it’s fine.”

“Yes, it’s perfectly safe,” Zariah winks. “We are almost done extracting all the data,” he gestures at the laptop’s screens.

Kase giggles and rushes to climb on Annie’s knees, excited to see her after she wasn’t allowed to sleep in his room last night which is understandable since the robot went bonkers.

“Hi Y/N,” the child softly pulls on her long hair. “I want waffles pwease.”

The hackers exchange meaningful glares and The Joker replies:

“She can’t for now,” he mutters. “She’s defective. Frost will take you out for breakfast, alright?”

“Does it hurt?” the 5 year old pouts at his parent’s affirmation: he doesn’t comprehend all the words and it’s difficult for a kid to process the concept of transference.

After Y/N died, The Joker told Kase she moved inside Annie: he wasn’t delusional about his failed experiment but it was easier to make his son cope with the loss of the woman that raised him. J doesn’t literally believe there’s any trace of Y/N in the machine: how could it be? Several months passed and nothing proved what he tried to accomplish succeeded: a twisted concept originating from a distorted mind was doomed from the start.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The Clown Prince of Crime sighs. “She’s resting.”

“Sir, I think you should see this,” Mickel gets his attention.

“What am I looking at?”

“You used voice command to lock down the android?” Zariah pinpoints at the monitor to his left.

“I did.”

“That’s not what turned off the system: see the numbers flowing borderline with the  central matrix, the tiny squares? She wasn’t locked down by external command, she was terminated from within.”

“What do you mean?!” Mickel scoots over in his rolling chair, baffled.

“Somebody trespassed the firewall,” his accomplice utters the obvious.

J is less than happy with the random discovery still he requires confirmation of his suspicion.

“Meaning?”

“Annie, I mean Y/N is the recipient of a cyber-attack: she’s been hacked.”

“Hacked?” J scoffs. “What for? She’s just a companion android, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Not sure, sir…” Zariah lifts his shoulders up, baffled.

“Can you find the source?” the green haired individual suggests.

“Analyzing the algorithm shows puzzling results: these numbers should be repeating themselves every so often, yet they don’t; never seen anything like it and I’ve been dealing with computers for a long time,” Mickel adds. “The most interesting detail is certainly challenging our expertise: tracking the root of the signal is pretty much unachievable. We should see input bouncing around from different servers because this is how hackers disguise their trail; but… this particular livestream happened simultaneously from various servers around the country.”

“There’s practically 0% chance for such abnormal hacking with today’s technology!” Zariah scrunches up his face at the baffling discovery. “How in the world was it done?!”

“You’re the experts!” The Joker barks. “I hired you based on strong recommendations from others that used your skills. Can you fix her or not?!”

“Of course, sir.”

“Yes!” the two associates ease The Clown’s doubt. “We’ll unplug the cables, we already removed all necessary info.”

Kase watches them detach the cords from Annie’s access ports, the child sulking at their action.

“Y/N, does it hurt?” he asks and hops off her lap. The empty shell doesn’t respond since the robot is in power saving mode.

“It doesn’t hurt,” The King of Gotham duplicates his earlier statement. “Frost!” he addresses the henchman entering the living room. “Take him to our restaurant on Madison Avenue for breakfast then he can play at the property on Foster Creek until we are done here. I want a 3 cars escort.”

“Yes, boss. I’ll call in advance and tell them not to open the place until we’re done.”

“Good,” J agrees with his henchman’s proposal. “Kase, go and eat!” he urges the offspring having a few more secrets to share with Annie. “Come on, let’s go!” the impatient father encourages.

The 5 year old obeys and kisses Annie’s cheek, whispering:

“I’ll bwing you beck’fast auntie, ok?” and he rushes at Frost’s side screaming up a storm. “Byeeeee daaaaaddy!!!”

The programmers are so absorbed by the mystifying enigma they stumbled upon by accident they don’t pay attention to the little nugget’s promise: even if they would, Zariah and Mickel wouldn’t be able to untangle the convoluted riddle of Y/N’s true identity.

She wasn’t The Joker’s girlfriend nor Kase’s mother: Y/N was nothing less than The Clown’s younger sister.

The woman protected the only family she had like a hawk, thus she didn’t hesitate to give her life in exchange for her nephew’s.

Too bad she had no idea those jerks were mocking her when she ended up on that accursed roof.  

Too bad her brother didn’t guess their intentions and extremely regrettable he was left alone without the only person he ever trusted.

Too bad she died granted J’s desperate efforts to keep her with him.

And so sad he didn’t know how much Y/N meant to him until she was gone.

“Isn’t it weird someone breached my android in the same time it was malfunctioning and closed her down?…” J stares outdoors on the terrace. “Why would anyone go through the trouble?... What’s the purpose?”

The familiar click of safety being taken off a gun awakens The Joker from apathy and he turns around: it’s not easy to surprise J but he’s stunned to notice the two experts he recruited pointing guns at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Cashing in a huge payday, sir,” Zariah sneers. “It’s not often you become a legend for murdering…”

The Joker is not listening, his attention diverted by the strange phenomenon occurring behind the two hackers threatening his life: Annie is standing up from her chair and that’s clearly not possible; she is in power saving mode!

The android grabs Mickel’s arm and twists it to 90 degrees, using his own pistol to blow his brains out. Before Zariah can react he’s knocked to the ground with such violence J starts backing out, unsure on what to do when Annie steps on the man’s neck.

The sound of fractured bone plus the cyborg’s attention clearly directed towards him now makes him shout:

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

“Access denied!” the robot approaches still calibrating its joints and electronic synapses.

What the hell is wrong with this thing?!

“Code 71345, emergency override!”

”Access denied!”

J wants to make a run for it but he’s aware Annie is faster; why is she glitching like this?! 

“Code 71…”

“Why are you trying to shut me down when I tried so hard to come back to you?” the cold voice halts the rest of his sentence.

The Joker takes a strenuous breath, dumbfounded at the shocking revelation:

“Y/N?... … Is… is… that you?!... …”

The android tilts its head to the left while an eerie smile flourishes on the plastic lips:

“Missed me?”

 Also read: MASTERLIST 

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[kenzieam]

Save My Life - Chapter One

@jewels2876​ ​​​​​ @moonbeambucky​ ​​​​​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ ​​​​​ @iammarylastar​@captstefanbrandt​ ​​​​​ @badassbaker​ ​​​​​ @pinknerdpanda​ ​​​​​

I know I’m forgetting people, sorry. If you want in, hit me.

************************************************************************

Warnings: Definitely M. Language, violence, adult situations, graphic mentions of horrible things, traumatic death and descriptions.

************************************************************************

!!!!!TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!!

************************************************************************

Paramedic Bucky Barnes has seen it all and it’s definitely taken a toll on his mind and body, witnessing senseless death, all but wading through it at times as he is the first responder to so many ghastly accidents and mishaps. The widow of one of his former patients haunts him long after his brief, chaotic contact with her and destiny conspires to cross their paths again. Can the broken man and grieving woman find peace together?

Feedback is life, y’all.

***********************************************************************

EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER

With a growl and a groan, Bucky rolled over onto his back and threw his arm over his eyes. His body throbbed in a way that, while unwelcome, was far from unpleasant and he reached down, palmed his aching cock through the plain black boxer briefs he usually slept in.

It was so much easier to stumble to the shower if he only had to tangle with briefs, not try to pull a t-shirt off his muscular frame, it wasted precious seconds that could be better spent gasping for breath under the spray, hands pressed to the wall and bowed forwards, water washing away the nightmares that had torn him from uneasy sleep to begin with.

The dichotomy wore at him, even as he relived the horrors of her husband’s messy final moments of life, his body yearned for her, his cock hardening while his mind played the reel over and over, the sightless eyes, the crunching of the man’s ribcage beneath his hands.

There was no use fighting it, he’d tried so many times, only to lose every battle.

His pleasure crested, peaked and he groaned in release, his cock pulsing thick ropes of his seed onto his heaving stomach but the physical gratification didn’t touch the emotional turmoil and he dropped his hand with another groan, squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth until the sensations faded, both the ecstasy and the guilt.

Finally, he moved, hauling himself off the bed, off the tangled, soaked sheets and grimaced; the evidence of his twisted mind drying on his belly. Stumbling over last night’s jeans he shuffled into the bathroom and turned the water to scalding, scowling at his face in the mirror, scrubbing a hand over his stubble.

Would he finally get his shit together today? What compelled him, day after day, to continue like this? Sure, not every call ended the way that one had, but the good ones had long stopped overpowering the bad, their shadows too dark to chase away.

His phone jangled, clashing with his already raw nerves. Would such a simple sound ever stop eliciting such a heart-stopping response in him? He reached for the receiver, his seed still painting his belly, pulling at the downy hair there as it dried and silently held it to his ear. The voice on the other end knew he was there.

“Hey.” Steve said quietly.

“Hey.”

“Is today the day?” The day you stop this, quit the job that’s slowly killing you and start putting yourself back together again?

Bucky exhaled, a harsh yet anemic sound. “No, not today.”

Steve, his partner of eleven years, the man who usually drove the ambulance while Bucky worked so hard in the back, sighed quietly. Closer than brothers, he could read Bucky like an open book, but it went both ways and Bucky could hear the small smile on his face too. Although it was slowly killing both of them, there was nobody they’d rather die beside.

“See you at the station?”

“Yeah, an hour.”

“Coffee.”

“Your turn.” Bucky grunted, slamming the receiver down. Their shorthand baffled most, pissed off others, but you couldn’t be stripped bare emotionally in front of someone for over a decade and not connect like that.

One last lingering glance in the mirror, a brief grimace at the haunted cast in his blue eyes, then he continued into the shower, letting the water wash away both the sweat and the tears.

**********************************************************************

“Still having nightmares?” Steve asked, glancing Bucky’s way before returning his attention to the road. On their way to a frequent flyer found semi-conscious and, no doubt, more than semi-intoxicated, sprawled on the ground outside a local McDonald’s, there was a mild sense of urgency but an even larger sense of ‘same-old, same-old’ weary acceptance.

“Never stop.” Bucky replied shortly, barely looking up from poking listlessly at the computer screen mounted on the dash.

“About her?”

Bucky exhaled, eyes falling closed until the pain, while by no means gone, diminished enough to allow him to draw the next breath. “Yeah.”

“Man, that was over a year ago and you haven’t seen her since. What gives?” Steve demanded, slapping the steering wheel with the palm of his hand before cursing under his breath and hitting the sirens again to persuade a stubborn car out of their lane.

Bucky mused that he’d probably hear those god-damned sirens in hell.

“I don’t know-”

“Her husband died-”

“I know!”

“And I’m sure the last person she wants to see is the guy who was covered in his blood literally crushing the man’s ribs!”

“I know!” Bucky bellowed, slamming his fist on the dash then pulling it back with a grunt to cradle against his muscular chest. He’d need the full use of his hands, both massive paws that somehow could be so gentle and precise while intubating or placing an IV line, to deal with the patient they were now pulling up on.

“You using again?” Steve asked, voice low, bordering on a mix of angry and disappointed.

Bucky turned away, opening the door and jumping out before the bus had come to a full stop.

************************************************************

Lev glanced around briefly before dropping her eyes again. She felt supremely uncomfortable here, despite the fact that she was one of the more in-control attendees; she wasn’t weeping ceaselessly into a handkerchief, or burying her face in her hands while her shoulders shook, or muffling her wails on the shoulder of the person beside her. She was keeping it together.

Wasn’t she?

Eighteen months since Clint’s violent and unexpected death and this was her first meeting for grieving survivors, held in an aging school gymnasium that smelled like old socks and even older sweat, the wood floor marked and scarred with years of abuse.

Her friend Wanda had finally put her foot down, after a year and a half of back and forth, of, ‘I’m fine, just tired’ excuses and tearful limbo and all but dragged Lev to her doctor, where the kindly soul who may or may not be hiding pain just as visceral as hers and therefore knew what he was talking about had suggested this place, as an alternative to the pharmaceutical option that had been the first choice, and rejected so vehemently by Lev to warrant it’s proposal.

She glanced around. The middle-aged woman who’d lost her husband when he’d choked to death right in front of her during their weekly Sunday brunch, three chairs over in the large circle; the man who’d suffered through agonizing minutes of his wife pleading for help over her phone, then her final screams of terror as her car’s throttle had malfunctioned on the freeway and she’d careened at top speed into an embankment, instantly dying but taking with her his unborn son as well, five chairs over; then…. Him.

Lev startled slightly, dropping her gaze before it could be returned. Her memories of that time were so scattered and chaotic, stained with Clint’s blood and the sound of that goddamn siren, but she remembered him, or more accurately, the pain in his supernatural blue eyes.

Built like a marine, massive and muscled, shoulder-length hair pulled back into a loose bun, clad not in his uniform but a simple red long-sleeved Henley and jeans, hulking and intimidating until you looked closer and saw the anguish, was the paramedic that had tried so hard to save her husband’s life that lifetime ago.

Her heart sped up and she focussed obsessively on her cuticles. She wished suddenly for Wanda, but she’d insisted on attending tonight by herself and consequently was now alone as a tsunami of memories crashed over her. The incongruity of smells: bitter antiseptic, raw panic and body expulsions, warm male musk and blood; the duelling opposites that had all but torn her in half: frightening, in-your-face reality as Clint’s blood dried on her face coupled with the dream-like quality of the whole drawn-out nightmare.

How did that man cope? Dealing with that life and ugly death daily? Was that why he was here now, slumped in his chair and listening to other lambs to the slaughter open their veins in wretched attempts to assuage the pain?

She was called gently upon to speak, to give her name and reason why she was here; what screaming banshee howled unending torment in her ears, but she shook her head, burrowing further in on herself and muttering a vow to make herself talk next time, no matter how uncomfortable.

An eternity and an eye-blink later, the meeting ended, and Lev stood stiffly, her body raw and pulsating with fresh grief. For lack of anything else to do, she wandered to the refreshment table, knowing she was far too shaky yet to attempt to drive herself home and picked up a pre-poured paper cup of juice and pack of generic cookies. She’d just sat at an empty table and touched the cup to her lips when a quiet, tentative voice washed over her.

“Hi.”

She glanced at him, quickly back down again. “Hi.” Her voice was stronger than she felt, and she was grateful for the support of the table and chair.

“May I sit?” There was a puzzling hesitancy in his voice, as if he expected screaming rejection, but Lev was too tired to push someone else away, it was too wearying keeping her own mind and body quiet.

At her nod, he sat, picking at his own pack of cookies, seeming to be warring with himself about something.

“I remember who you are, you know.” Lev added, watched his shoulder slump with mingled relief and trepidation.

“I didn’t know… if you…. did or not-” He mumbled, trailing off uncomfortably.

“Hard to forget that day.” Lev whispered. She hesitated before adding. “I never got a chance but… thank you… for trying.”

He nodded, jaw tight, not lifting his eyes from the table.

“How do….” She didn’t want to ask, but God, she did too. “How do you manage to do that… as a job I mean?”

He smirke humorlessly, gesturing with one massive hand to the assembly around them.

“Does it help?”

He shrugged. “More than the company counselling. A friend of mine suggested it a couple years ago; I try to come when I can but….” He cleared his throat. “What about you?”

Lev dropped her eyes again, puzzlingly embarrassed. “My first time. My friend… she made me see a doctor-”

He held up a large hand. Say no more.

“How are you sleeping?” He asked quietly, lifting his hypnotizing gaze to hers again, which she quickly averted, in parts shocked and soothed by the tractor-pull that seemed to emanate from his supernatural blue eyes.

The question stung somehow, and it was so much easier to bite at that then lay bare the devastation beneath. “How do you?” Even as the question left her lips she recoiled, horrified with herself and pressed her hand to her mouth.

He flinched, barely perceptively, but the dark rings under his eyes answered her.

“God, I’m sorry-”

He shook his head, held up a massive hand again. “It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not!” What was wrong with her, biting the first hand that extended any type of friendliness? “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“This place… feeling this way… it makes you raw.” He replied, glancing up at her before looking away and gesturing with a chin jerk to a nearby table. “Sweetest old lady you’ll ever meet over there, but once she comes here and starts remembering her husband’s death again, turns into an old hag.” He twisted the paper cup in his hands, completely engulfing it before taking a sip. “Later, she’ll sit there with a stunned look on her face, like she’s waking up from a black-out.”

“I don’t want to be an old hag.”

A faint smile touched his full lips, temporarily lighting up his unbelievably handsome face. “You’d never be.” A faint pink flush and he looked away again.

Lev suddenly couldn’t breathe. The room, the man across from her, were taking all the air and she stumbled to her feet. “I have to go.”

He watched her, face falling and tried to stand but Lev lifted her hand, an emotional traffic cop, and shook her head. “I’m fine.”

It was a lie, and both knew it, but he only watched sadly as she hurried out the gymnasium doors to the darkness outside, head bowed.

**************************************************

“You never answered me.” Steve spoke suddenly, breaking the silence in the bus as they took a rare break between calls, sitting in the parking lot of a local coffee-shop, trying to wolf down their breakfast sandwiches before the radio blared and re-established reality.

Bucky grunted, knowing what his partner was referring to but hoping that he’d drop it if he played silly buggers.

“James.” Shit, he was serious, using Bucky’s given name.

Bucky sighed, staring out the windshield. “It’s under control.”

“Is it?” Steve all but shouted. “Shooting H? Seriously, man. How do you have that ‘under control’?! What the fuck, James!”

“I don’t do it all the time-”

“Once is too many!”

“Fuck you. You got someone to come home to-”

“DO NOT put that on me, asshole. You’ve had plenty of women hoping for your last name, what the hell are you always waiting for?”

“I’m-”

“Stop thinking about that girl, it’s never going to happen!”

A bitter retort stung Bucky’s tongue and he knew if he spit it out it would poison their enduring friendship, weaken it just when he needed it the most but he was saved from sabotaging himself by the damned radio itself, the dispatcher’s efficient voice relaying maximum information with minimal syllables.

Glaring daggers at Bucky, obviously having a damn good idea what he had been about to say, Steve snorted angrily and grabbed the microphone, snapping an affirmative before slamming the vehicle in gear and hitting the sirens.

************************************************************************

Levi was not at the next meeting and Bucky felt a curious mix of relief and disappointment. Steve was right, this was never going to happen and, even if it did, he had no right dragging this girl down into his shit, not when she was still trying to dig herself out of her own. But still, he was disappointed; she was the rare light in his darkness, had been since the moment he’d first seen her, even with all the chaos and horror around her, cradling her dying husband’s head in her lap, pleading with someone, anyone to help. When their eyes had locked, a visceral, physical jolt had shot through him, almost painful in its intensity and he’d become personally invested in doing all he could to help, if not the patient he’d been dispatched for, then her.

Anything for her.

He was a sad fuck.

He’d barely heard the meeting going on around him, the others whispering their shame and pain, the answering murmurs from fellow sufferers. He rarely spoke at these, was rarely called on anyway because the overseer, a thin, bantam rooster of a man named Tony, who still lost all confidence and swagger when remembering his dear wife, Pepper, who’d passed suddenly from an aneurysm a few years previous, knew who Bucky was and why he was here.

He had no personal stories of loss to tell, but shared the pain of every single death he witnessed, every patient he tried to save and usually ended up only managing to usher into the afterlife with some semblance of comfort anyway.

He left the meeting that night alone, curled up on the floor at the end of his bed and found a vein.

[gryffindorcls]

What Happened?

(ML Lovesquare Fluff Week 2k19 - Day 2:  Forehead Kisses)

Hello, lovely readers!

HAPPY DAY 2 OF LOVESQUARE FLUFF WEEK 2019!!!

The Day 2 prompt is “Forehead Kisses”.

Thank you @lovesquarefluffweek for organizing this week of fluff!

---

Day 2: Forehead Kisses

Much to Marinette’s chagrin, her slumber was rudely interrupted by frantic pounding against her skylight. She felt herself sink further into her nest of blankets and pillows as she groaned and squinted in the darkness. All she wanted to do was sleep...she was so tired.

Another volley of knocks sounded above her, waking her up completely. When she attempted to turn over and sit up, shooting pain in her ankle sent a shock through her body. Marinette hissed and flopped back onto her bed.

“Princess,” said the muffled voice of Chat Noir overhead, “please open up.”

Tikki zipped over and landed on the pillow next to her. “Are you going to let him in?”

Marinette turned her head towards her Kwami. “Well, he is my boyfriend.”

“You’ve had a long day. I can tell him that you really need to sleep.”

“No...it’s fine. He’s probably worried. I’m sure he heard about what happened today, and he just wants to check up on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Could you open the hatch for him? I would, but my ankle is starting to hurt a lot. I think the medicine they gave me at the hospital is starting to wear off.”

The red Kwami nuzzled her holder’s cheek. “Of course, Marinette.”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

A few seconds later, Chat Noir gingerly landed on her bed. “Princess, ohmygod...Plagg, claws off.”

Marinette turned her head away from her partner as the light from his detransformation flooded her room. “Hello, Adrien. You seemed to be rather anxious to get in tonight. Is everything okay?”

“No, I’ve been freaking out all night. I couldn’t get away until now. I didn’t get to look at any of my messages until after the photoshoot, and then my dad made me do some stupid interview. And why are you asking me if I’m okay.? Jeez, Marinette, I…ugh...I’m so sorry. There was just so much. I should have...”

She giggled, cutting him off. “It’s okay, Adrien. I understand. You had a lot on your schedule today, and your dad isn’t exactly accommodating. Besides, I saw you on t.v. while I was in the E.R. waiting room. As always, you did great, but I could tell that you were kind of distressed. Your smile didn’t cover up the worry in your eyes, and that’s when I figured that you found out about...well...everything. I know that you care about me, but I feel bad that you had to think about it all evening.”

He looked at her with pleading eyes. “Marinette, what happened? And why didn’t you text me?”

“My phone broke when I fell, and the replacement should be here in a day or two. I know I could have messaged you on Facebook, but when we got home from the hospital, my dad helped me up here, and I’m kind of stuck at the moment. My computer is down there, and every time I move, it hurts. I figured that you would show up eventually because you always do when something is wrong. Besides, didn’t someone from school text you about it?”

“Everyone texted me about it. I even got a video.”

“Oh, no...they actually kept the footage?”

“Yup...I saw the fall, the screams, and when Ivan carried you off to the nurse’s office. I’ll have to thank him for doing that.”

“Yeah...he was really concerned after it happened.”

Adrien sighed. “Look...I may have seen the video, but I would really like to hear what happened from you.”

Marinette attempted to prop herself up, but the pain in her ankle caused her to wince. Adrien’s panicked response was immediate. Without hesitation, he crawled across the bed, snaked one of his arms around Marinette’s back, lifted her into a sitting position, and held her against his chest.

“Thanks, Chaton,” she whispered against his soft, cotton t-shirt.

He rested his cheek on top of her head. “Princess...please explain. I leave you for a few hours to work on a project, and I just...”

“I know. Okay...first of all, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You fell down the stairs.”

“I fell down half of the stairs.”

“Marinette…”

“Fine. So, we were working on that video for History class. You know...the one about Ancient Rome...and I was wearing one of the period pieces that I designed. Let’s just say that my feet and the fabric didn’t agree.”

He released a shaky breath. “Ohmygod…”

“There are bruises where I landed, but the biggest injury is a sprained ankle. The doctor who looked at me in the hospital said I was really lucky that I didn’t break anything. I guess all that Ladybug luck is finally rubbing off on me!”

Marinette laughed upon completing her explanation, but she immediately fell silent when she felt Adrien’s body shake in her arms. She stroked his back as he sobbed gently.

“Oh, no, kitty...shhh,” she cooed, “It’s okay...I’m okay...everything is okay.”

He continued to cry. “No, it’s not. It’s not okay because I wasn’t there. There are too many times when I’m not there. I should have been there. I let you down. I should have been there for you.”

Marinette pulled away from him. “Adrien Agreste, don’t you dare get yourself worked up over this. You are always there for me. I mean, just look at you right now. You ran across Paris in a magical catsuit and are currently holding me like the world will end if you let go.”

“I just feel like a failure. A good boyfriend would have carried you to the nurse. A good boyfriend would have held your hand while you waited to be seen by a doctor. A good boyfriend would have spent the evening with you making sure that you were comfortable. I didn’t do any of those things because I was once again not there. Sometimes, I feel like you would be better off without me.”

“No! How could you say something like that? I need you, Adrien. We are partners...we are a team. You are my other half. Ugh...sometimes I just want to kick your dad for ever making you feel like you’re not enough. You are enough by simply being you. You can't be physically next to me every second of the day. We cherish the time that we have, and then we hold each other in our hearts until we meet again Things are going to happen when we’re apart. You’re here now, and I know you were thinking about me. You are the best boyfriend I could have asked for.”

He sniffled. “Really.”

Marinette placed a gentle, feathery kiss on his forehead, causing Adrien’s eyes to flutter shut. She giggled at her boyfriend’s response.

“Yes, Chaton,” she said lovingly, “You are amazing.”

He wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Thank you, Princess...I really needed that. I guess I was just feeling a little...ummm…”

“Insecure?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we know that happens from time to time, and I will always be here to remind you of everything that makes you awesome. Think about it. Not only are you literally a model, but you’re also a straight-A student, have the busiest schedule I’ve ever seen, and are a genuinely good human being. Then, to top it off, you’re also the best partner Ladybug has ever had.”

“I’m the only partner Ladybug has ever had.”

She reached up and buried her fingers in his messy blond locks. “You better believe it! And she plans on keeping it that way.”

With a playful grin, Adrien closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “Oh, really? Did she tell you that?”

“Yup. She told me herself.”

“Wow...that’s amazing.”

“Yeah, she told me that you take care of her both in and out of the mask.”

Adrien’s smile suddenly faded. “Okay, so about that…”

Marinette sighed. “And there it is…”

“What?”

“You’re about to tell me that you don’t want me running across the roofs of Paris while I have a sprained ankle.”

“Yes, and…”

“In the case of an Akuma attack, you will meet me on my balcony with the Akumatized object so I cleanse it here. I know, minou. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I may have decent coordination as Ladybug, but I am a spaz outside of the suit.”

He pulled her close once more. “You’re not a spaz. You’re just a little clumsy.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Yeah right. You’re saying this to the girl who has gotten a concussion two times this year from running into the same door.”

“To be fair, you were in a rush both times.”

“Because I’m a mess, Adrien!”

“Well if you insist on calling yourself that, then I must declare that you’re the most radiant mess on the planet, my lady.”

She pulled away and swatted at his arm. “Flirt.”

“Only for you,” he cooed in her ear.

“Cool. So, while my heart also beats only for you...I do have one little problem at the moment.”

“Oh? And what might that be, Princess?”

“You see...before you got here, I was sleeping.”

“Oops...yeah, I...umm...sorry about that. I was just so worried. I should have talked to you about this in the morning.”

No, no. Don’t get me wrong. I was expecting you to show up, and I’m happy that you came. It’s just, while I was sleeping, I couldn’t feel the pain in my ankle. Now that I’m awake and the medicine is wearing off, it’s kind of hurting a lot.”

Panic returned to his eyes as Adrien let go and backed away from her. “I’m so sorry. Holding you probably isn’t helping. I’ll just go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Marinette.”

She giggled and grabbed his wrist. “Actually, being held was very comforting. I’d really like it if you did that again, but...uhhh...would it be okay I lay down? Sitting up is making the pain worse.”

“My lady,” he said with a grin, “are you suggesting that we cuddle?”

“Well, now that I’m awake, you have to stay with me until I fall asleep again, so yes...I am asking for cuddles”

He smiled as he helped Marinette situate herself comfortably against her pillow. Seconds later, he laid down next to her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her close.

“Thanks for always being there for me, Adrien,” she whispered sleepily.

He gave her a gentle squeeze. “Always, Princess.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Marinette soon found herself drifting off into a peaceful sleep, and while it may have just been a dream, she could have sworn that she felt Adrien leave a soft, loving kiss on her forehead before transforming and vaulting off into the night.

AO3

[rynhaswritersblock]

midtown morning announcements | p.p.

a/n: in this story YOU are a reporter in the announcements and betty is NOT!!!!! sorry betty love you bae <3

summary: as a reporter for midtown tech's daily announcements, it's easy to get carried away with ideas. especially ones involving the newest superhero from queens.

warnings: cussing, some chaotic energy, 5.6k words because i POPPED OFF, messy epilogue but just roll w me

+ + +

"Oh my god, she's crushing on Spider-Man."

You tried. You really tried. Sure, you were friends with Betty and Liz, but god, if some of their conversations didn't make you want to scream.

Nevertheless, you whirl around. The statement was too absurd for you not to. Liz, the pretty, popular girl, had a crush on a hero whom she'd never seen the face of.

Now that was a story.

You spin back around, snatching the book out of MJ's hands and ignoring the look she gives you.

"How soon do you think I can convince Mr. Harrington to give me an extra segment in the announcements?"

+ + +

"I'm sorry, Y/N, but I just don't think there's enough time to-"

"Mr. Harrington, please," you plead. "We can cut the segment about.. what's it called? What's New in the Teacher's Lounge? Trust me when I say this: talking about the new coffee filters and low stock in the vending machines only loses everyone's attention."

A sigh falls from the mans mouth. He scratches his beard thoughtfully and you bite back a grin at his dramatically thoughtful expression.

"Okay, fine, Madam Reporter. You can have your segment on Spandex Man," he says.

A smile pulls the corners of your lips. "Thank you, Mr. Harrington, you won't regret it."

He just nods his head, an awkward silence filling between the two of you. He eventually catches the hint and turns around, beginning to walk away, muttering.

"I swear, teenage girls and their obsession with men in tight clothing."

Your eyes widen and your face explodes into an expression of defense before you turn around, face-to-face with MJ.

"So?"

"I got it."

A smirk breaks on the girls face. "Ready to shoot?"

Your eyes widen and move over to the wall of the reporting room, the clock reading 7:29 am. One minute before filming time. You look back at MJ and shrug hopelessly, jogging over to the setup in front of the cameras and sliding in next to Jason.

"Hey, Y/N-"

"We're cutting the teacher's lounge segment and I'm replacing it with a different one," you blurt, then turn to the camera as the red light turns on and begins blinking.

"Wha- Good morning, students of Midtown Tech!"

You suppress a laugh.

"Today is Wednesday, September 21st. Happy Fall," you smile. While you were never anxious in front of the camera, you were completely unprepared. The change in segments was made literally two minutes ago, and the only ones with that knowledge were you, MJ, and (kind of) Jason. Thankfully, MJ was a quick scriptwriter, but this was something you wanted to make perfect. Your perfectionism wasn't easily controlled, and with a new segment like this, you wanted to make it just right.

You and Jason swapped reporting different details about events, the weather- the sort of stuff a lot of students didn't really care about. But, as soon as you saw the words "Y/N: INTO SPIDER-MAN SEGMENT" on the screen, you knew this would grab everyone's attention. You also knew that you would kick MJ later for not even giving you a script when you knew she was capable of at least writing a few things.

"Ohhhh-" Jason gasps, understanding what you'd meant earlier. You hit him in the arm before mentally preparing yourself as quickly as possible.

"Word about the new hero, known as Spider-Man, has taken over Midtown Tech, and everyone seems to have the same question: who is the man under the mask? Well, Tigers, I've decided to take it upon myself to discover this upcoming Avenger's identity. In this segment, you'll see interviews and videos of the hero, as well as a link in which you can scan a QR code on the screen and submit guesses, and later vote on who you think it is!"

"Yo, that's dope," Jason nods, looking at you, impressed and surprised.

"It is," you smile at the camera. "Now onto Cindy, who is with the Mr. Harrington to talk about the importance of, um, kissing your pets at least 10 times daily..?"

The filming session wraps with you and Jason doing your signature sign-off (putting on sunglasses and playing Midtown's anthem on kazoo's). You slide out of the chair, setting your glasses on the table behind you and walking over to MJ with a sigh.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"Hey man, you did fine without a script," she retorts, raising her hands in defense.

"I'm aware," you raise a brow.

From across the room, you can hear the editors grouping around the computer, laughing at all the memes and sound effects they're gonna put in.

+ + +

Not good. Not good not good not good not good.

Peter Parker stood frozen, feet away from one of the multiple TVs in the hallway, jaw slack as he stares at the screen.

Not even the chaotic memes and crappy video effects could make him laugh (the boy had a weak spot for Comic Sans).

He knew who you were. Peter'd occasionally see you in the hallways, and you'd always smile or even just give him a small look of acknowledgment. Still, never talked. Which, now that he thought about it, was probably a good thing. The second you figure out Spider-Man's voice, it'll be engraved into your brain, and there'll be no hiding if you approach him.

"Hey, Peter!"

The boy jumps, spinning around to see Ned, about 20 feet away, bright smile painted on his face as he waves a bit aggressively. Peter mentally prepares himself before walking over, plastering a (hopefully convincing) grin on his face. Ned, of course, is oblivious and falls for it.

"Dude, did you watch the announcements today?! That shit is crazy! I mean, Y/N's so smart and stuff, she's probably gonna figure out who it is in, like, two weeks," Ned babbles.

Peter looks around cautiously, feeling as though all eyes are on him, despite the fact that he was most definitely on the bottom half of the popularity list.

"Yeah, weird."

Just then, he sees you turn around the corner with MJ, waving to someone he didn't know, and catches a smile on your face.

His prior neutral opinion about you began to shift.

+ + +

By the end of the day, you were practically floating. The entire school was buzzing about the new segment- hell, it almost creeped you out how excited everyone was. At lunch, people couldn't stop glancing over at you, whispering about who they thought Spider-Man might be. At first, the looks were different, interesting, but now they just made you plain uncomfortable. Nonetheless, when you stepped outside after the final bell and everyone's mind shifted from the segment to the idea of getting home, you felt proud.

And, although the two of you were apart, both in terms of distance and relationship, you and Peter felt the same feeling as you flopped onto your respective beds in your respective apartments:

You now had the weight of the world on your shoulders.

+ + +

The FBI agent in your phone was probably terrified. You went from being an average, phone-using teen, to being a complete stalker, notes and news apps taking over your storage- all to make sure you'd never miss a story. Moreover, you'd done all this within the last two hours.

With the exponentially rising expectations from your classmates, you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn't let anyone down. That started today: the day of the Spider-Man's Secrets debut.

Just as you lay back on your bed, back sore, you come to the realization that all of these precautionary apps would only give you the scoop after the incident. AKA: not soon enough. You groan, rolling off your bed and slipping on your shoes, grabbing your keys and making your way out of the apartment.

While hadn't necessarily wished to be walking through the streets of Queens as the sky darkened, part of it was kind of peaceful. If you ignored your paranoid thoughts.

Nonetheless, you thought, if you were to get attacked, the man of the day would show up, right?

A sigh falls from your lips as you round the corner, figuring you'd go to Delmar's and get a sandwich. And pet Murph.

Your plans are foiled when you stop in your tracks at the sight of Spider-Man battling some robbers in the bank. Even though your eyes widened, you let out a small laugh- the robbers were wearing Avengers masks. How nice for Tony Stark's image.

The whole situation looked like one of those weird money-tornado things you'd seen at arcades. You rip your phone out of your pocket and begin recording just as a purple beam shoots out of the bank, streaming in a haphazard circular shape and nearly hitting you. A yelp elicits from your mouth as you duck. When you rise, the robbers are gone, and Delmar's is on fire.

"Holy shit," you gasp, checking to make sure your phone is still recording.

You felt a little stupid as you ran over to the building, phone in the air like a goddamn touristic maniac.

"Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to get out of the way, it's-"

You feel a pair of hands wrap around your waist, pulling you back. You begin to wriggle out of the grasp before you turn your head and meet eyes with Spider-Man. The large white eyes of the mask widen, as do yours.

"It's, um," he clears his throat, lowering his voice and using a Jersey accent, "too dangerous."

In a flash, he's gone, leaping through the broken window and yelling for Mr. Delmar, voice back to its high state. You're stunned, not having expected to have gotten that lucky on your first night, as well as from the state of the building you had loved so much. You stay there, standing at the edge of the sidewalk, chewing nervously on your nails as you wait for Spider-Man to run back out, hopefully with Mr. Delmar and Murph.

You had a job to do.

A relieved sigh leaves your lungs at the sight of the hero helping Mr. Delmar out, handing him Murph with such a careful and cautious demeanor that gives the hero so much humanistic personality that it practically knocks you out.

You knew you were one to notice body language, but watching someone without being able to see their face only amplified them. You watch silently as Spider-Man hangs his head as he walks away from the scene, looking tired, ashamed almost. People begin gathering around the building, videoing and a few going over to Mr. Delmar and lending him support. A ping of guilt rings through your veins before you remind yourself of your job.

"Excuse me?"

He stops, turning around. Reporters begin pulling up in large news vans.

"I have a few questions."

+ + +

The only time you'd ever flown was at the airport. Or in your dreams. But never this way.

Your heart was still racing, despite having landed on the roof of some building almost a full sixty seconds ago.

"Sorry, but could we hurry this up? I kinda, uh, need to get home," he says, hints of paranoia lacing his words.

"Yeah, sorry, just, you know, have never swung on a fucking web multiple stories up before," you nod, pursing your lips and instantly regretting your harshness. "Sorry."

He nods. You pull up the voice recorder app on your phone and hit the button. A rush of awkwardness hits you.

"So, uh, Spider-Man: tell me about yourself."

"Well," he scratches the back of his neck nervously. His voice is deep, with that same rich Jerseyan accent. You don't buy it at all. "I'm, well, I'm Spider-Man. I like.. helping... people?"

"Uh, yes-" you blurt, nodding your head. You didn't want to completely bombard him, you wanted to just intro him and get some exclusive information. "How did you get your powers?"

He goes on to explain that he was bitten by a radioactive spider. Luckily for you, he goes off on a tangent, ranting about how weird it was and what exactly his powers were. You smile every time you notice his accent and deep voice slip into something that sounded more natural- higher, but natural.

Based off of the hints of his voice alone, you'd guess he was anywhere from 12-18 years old.

"And then I would wear like super big shirts to school to try and hide it because I didn't want to look suspiciously stronger--"

"School?" you interrupt.

"Oh, uh.. yeahhhumIgottago!" he blurts before awkwardly backing up, jumping off the building and swinging away.

A smile creeps onto your face. Enough to satisfy your classmates.

+ + +

"Luckily, I was able to catch the hero right after the incident, and he swung me with him to the top of a building for privacy from other news stations and police officers," you smile, ignoring how Jason was bouncing excitedly next to you, eager for information. He was a prime example of the excitement going on around the school.

"Spider-Man received his powers from a bite from a radioactive spider, and gained his new skills over night. Reportedly, he woke up with defined and large muscles, giving him the physique you can catch while he swings by. He has super senses that can detect any form of danger, 'sticky' hands and feet, and crafts his own webs that have been incorporated into his suit, given to him by Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. Here's a vocal clip from our interview!"

Normally, the sound of the announcements would be substantially muffled by the sounds of kids moving everywhere and chattering, but not anymore. Now, students grouped around the TVs, whispering. Peter had tried so hard to ignore your voice while not seeming suspicious.

But, as soon as he heard his own voice through the speakers, the announcements had his full attention.

He was relieved that you'd used a clip in which he'd been lowering his voice and using an accent, but there was a second in there where your masked voice slipped. Not good.

The boy suffered through the school day, ignoring the gossip of students, including Ned. Not to mention MJ suspiciously eyeing him during lunch. Either she had a crush, or she knew something. Peter suspected the latter.

As soon as the bell rang, he darted out of the doors, going to his usual hiding spot and changing, swinging as quickly as he could to the Stark Tower. The boy landed at the front steps, bending over and panting for a second before mustering up more energy and running up to the door, ringing the buzzer as many times as he could.

"Welcome to Stark Tower," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said, monotone. "Identification, please."

"Peter Parker," he pants, pulling up his mask and looking into the camera.

"Unknown identity. Access denied."

A buzzer rang off and the boy frowned.

"Let him in, F.R.I.," Tony yells from inside, walking over and opening the doors. "Hey, Pete."

"Hi, Mr. Stark. Why wouldn't it let me in?"

The two walk into the main entrance.

"No reason."

"What?"

"I just have a different name for you in the program, that's all. If the name doesn't match the face, the doors don't open."

"What name do you have for me, then?"

Tony sighs, hints of mischievousness in his eyes. "Underoos. Can't believe you wouldn't think of that."

"Got it, sorry," Peter nods, clutching the mask in his hand. "I need you to put a voice changer in my suit."

+ + +

You were starting to get a bit worried. Spider-Man had started using a voice changer in his suit, and when you asked about it, he said he'd heard about you using his voice in a school announcement, and he needed to maintain anonymity.

Of course, this had taken a toll on you.

Not only did it lessen your chances of figuring out who this kid was, but it made you feel bad. After all, you were disrespecting a hero's privacy, trying to expose them to a mass of teenagers. And all he was doing was trying to protect the very place you lived in.

You'd managed to catch him at just about every incident he'd been in, but each time, he got less and less open about everything. You were running out of questions that you deemed fairly respectful, and he became very closed off, and for good reason.

If you exposed him, he'd be much more susceptible to attackers, who'd then be able to hurt the people he loved. You sigh as you begin your walk home from school, wracking your brain for more questions. You'd dug yourself into some deep shit.

A flash of red and blue pulls you out of your thoughts.

"Spider-Man!" you yell, eyes widening when you notice a few people look at you and then divert their attention to him, gasping. You mutter a profanity before jogging over to where he'd landed on top of a traffic light. "I have a few questions."

"Yeah, of course you do."

As if the deep and robotic voice wasn't cold enough already. You hear a loud sigh at your perplexed expression, and before you know it, you were flying again, landing a bit harshly on the roof of another building.

"Ouch, okay."

"Sorry," you hear him mutter. "Off the record?"

You nod and watch as he presses a button on his wrist.

"Look-"

A smile begins creeping on your face at the sound of his normal voice, but you bite it back.

"- I don't know why you're doing this. What I do know, though, is that you're trying to expose my identity to a large group of highschoolers. Do you realize how much trouble that could cause me, Y/N? I mean-"

"Shut up-" you interrupt harshly. "You know my name?"

"What? No, I, uh-"

"You just said my name."

"It was a wild guess!"

"The fuck do you mean a wild guess?! Do you go to Midtown?"

Even the mask can't hide his panic. Holy shit.

"Look: exposing me would literally ruin my life. I need you to shut this down. All of it."

"I would if I could," you say, exasperatedly. "I don't know whether you go to my school or you somehow stalked me and found my name, but: I'm a reporter for the Midtown Tech daily morning announcements. I made a promise to my classmates that, given the craze about you, I'd try and discover your identity. It blew up, way more than I expected. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders now; I can't give this up! Everyday, at least one person comes up to me and asks about you."

"You do realize that, by exposing me, you'd cause more trouble than by just letting it go?"

You're silent for a moment. He's right.

"I'll figure something out."

+ + +

"Yesterday, when I approached him yesterday, Spider-Man swung us onto another rooftop for another private discussion, in which he answered more questions."

Lying stung you like a bitch. Off the record, you remember.

"The hero claims that he's working on becoming an Avenger, training with the current members so that he can be on the team. Unfortunately, that's all he was able to tell me last evening, as he claimed he had something to do and swung away."

You sigh when the red light turns off, slipping out of your chair and over to where MJ sat. You grabbed your bag and began walking away.

"Was all of that true?" she asks as she follows you out. You nod. "You sure? Because something was off about it."

"It's all true, MJ, I'm just tired."

Peter's face was scrunched up, confused as he watched you on the screen, explaining about Spider-Man's supposed plans to join the Avengers. And then it clicked.

You were actually helping him.

After everything that'd happened, he'd half expected you to just full out expose him. To take your assumptions and spill them all over the school, telling everyone that Spider-Man was a student at Midtown Tech who knew your name. Peter hated how good at correctly assuming you were.

Thankfully, though, everyone bought it.

"Yo, did you hear that?"

"Hmm?" the boy hums, raising his eyebrows and looking over at Ned.

"Spider-Man's going to be an Avenger!"

"Yeah, that's, uh, that's really cool," Peter smiles, trying to match Ned's optimism. The smile drops slightly when he sees you walk past.

+ + +

You found a loophole. Upon reading all the comments on your Spider-Man link from announcements, you decided to start interviewing random students to get the content you needed.

All throughout lunch, you'd been pulling kids aside- Cindy, Liz, Betty, Flash. A sigh falls from your mouth as Flash walks away (with a bit too much pride for having just gushed about the hero), and you look around the cafeteria for more people.

You meet eyes with Peter Parker.

"Peter," you call, waving him over.

He mutters a word May wouldn't approve of, patting Ned on the back before trying to mentally crush his anxiety. He begins to sweat.

"Can I interview you for my segment on the morning announcements?"

All he does is give you a slight smile and nods. You knew Peter was quiet, but you'd think he'd be a bit less cold.

"So, Peter, have any guesses as to who Spider-Man may be?"

He was trapped. The boy stood in front of you, silent, mouth slightly ajar.

"Peter?"

"I don't know," he blurts. You freeze.

"What was that?"

He trips over his words. "Oh, uh, nothing, I didn't-"

"Holy shit," you whisper. You could've been making a complete fool of yourself acting so dumbstruck, but you'd be damned if you didn't just crack the code.

"Y/N, I-"

"So, Peter," you clear your throat, giving him a look. "Who do you think it is?"

"Flash."

An ungodly-sounding laugh bubbles out of your chest, causing him to laugh too. The two of you share a knowing look.  

"Thank you for your response."

+ + +

You hated the dark. It always made you paranoid. And, while the lights from all the stores and streetlamps helped, it wasn't the same as daylight. Anything could happen in New York.

You also hated how right you were about that.

You were on your way back from doing some brainstorming about how you'd continue the segment at Delmar's when you heard a rustle in the bushes. While it was your stereotypical horror movie sound, it still creeped you out. You couldn't out-walk it, though. A pair of hands wrapped around your body and began pulling you backwards.

Shit.

A loud yelp elicits from your mouth before a hand wraps around it too, and you try to wriggle out of the strong grasp. You manage to get a hand free, wrapping it around their wrist and twisting it off of your face before spinning around, meeting a dark pair of eyes underneath a generic "robber" mask.

"HELP," you yell, kneeing the guy in his crotch, finally freeing yourself as he falls to the ground. You'd never run so fast. The sound of footsteps behind you gets closer, but stops with the sound of hard impact and a groan. You stop and turn around.

Spider-Man is there, giving the guy a final punch in the jaw before webbing him to the wall and backing up, pressing a few buttons on his suit before looking up at you.

"How predictable and cliche," you sigh, rubbing your arm.

The sound of sirens begins wailing in the distance.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so-"

"Here," he says, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you to a rooftop, coincidentally, the one belonging to your apartment building.

"You sure have a knack for swinging me onto rooftops, don't you?"

"There's never anyone on them, so," he shrugs. You smile slightly- his voice masker is off. You were right.

You walk over to the edge, sitting down and dangling your legs over the edge. He joins you.

"Hey, um, if you could maybe not-"

"Don't worry, Peter. I won't," you say, looking over at him reassuringly. He sighs.

"Guess I can take this off now."

You watch as he pulls off the mask, taking a deep breath and shaking out his curls. You don't let yourself stare and instead just smile, looking down beneath the two of you.

"That's my apartment," you point down, slightly to the right at the fire escape.

He looks up at you in surprise and the wind gets knocked out of you. You'd never seen Peter Parker the way you did right now. He'd always been this mellow kid, yeah, cute, but sort of... in the background. A nerd (but that wasn't a bad thing). Now, though, he was in his element. The moon hitting him just right, his curls messy from his mask. He wasn't afraid of being judged because nobody was around, and he was wearing a suit that made him who he always wanted to be: a hero.

"No way! My apartment is literally right across from yours!" he says, excitement and facial expressions reminding you of a puppy. He pointed his window out, and sure enough, it was just about right across from yours as far as you could tell.

You don't know what to say, so you just smile instead, letting a little laugh out.

"So, uh," you breathe, "I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna do about the whole Spider-Man's Secrets thing, but I won't expose you."

"Thank you," Peter sighs, voice accompanied with relief and a crooked smile.

"Maybe I can tell everyone that you're just too good. Like, you've got titanium walls all around you."

"Heh, yeah."

He looks over at you and smiles.

+ + +

EPILOGUE - NOTE:: some of the details of this may not make complete sense, nor line up with the plot of the movie in which this takes place. the point still gets across, so please don't make any rude comments lol- i did the best i could!

"I managed to send the Elemental back into the dimensional rift, but I don't think I'm gonna make it off this bridge alive. Spider-Man attacked me for some reason. He has an army of weaponized drones, Stark technology. He's saying he's the only one who's gonna be the new Iron Man, no one else."

"What the fuck?" you mutter. Peter would never say that.

You gasp at the video. Sure enough, Peter's standing there, confirming a fatal drone attack. Screams ring off in the distance and you practically choke.

"There you have it, folks. Conclusive proof that Spider-Man was responsible for the brutal murder of Mysterio!"

You sneer at the screen, the sight of J.J. Jameson making you angry. That man always got angry over the smallest things. You get on your phone to text Peter but stop. More footage from Mysterio begins playing.

"Spider-Man's real... Spider-Man's real name is... Spider-Man's name is Peter Parker," he chokes out.

You jump as Peter's school picture fills your TV screen.

"Holy fucking shit," you mutter, heart racing.

This is not right.

+ + +

He didn't answer you at all. None of your texts, none of your calls. Hell, you almost went over to his apartment, but you didn't remember his new address, since he and May moved after the Blip.

The two of you had become extremely close ever since you'd found out his identity, hanging out whenever you could. It was beyond unlike him to not answer you.

You sprinted into the news room. It was less than 24 hours after Peter had been exposed, and he was everywhere. Social media, news stations; hell, his picture was all over Times Square. And everything they were saying was all wrong.

"Mr. Harrington!"

The man spins around, startled.

"Oh! Good morning, Y/N-"

"I need you to start taping right now. Abe! You know how to hack, right? Broadcast this all over Times Square and every news station you can," you pant. The kid sits up in his seat, brushing Pop Tart crumbs off of his jeans and nodding with a smile.

"What is this all about?" Mr. Harrington asks as he moves over to the camera, cautious.

"You'll see."

You sigh as you sit in your seat, looking over at Abe. It takes a minute, but as soon as he gives a thumbs up, Mr. Harrington hits record.

"Hi. My name is Y/N L/N, and I am a student of Midtown School of Science and Technology, as well as a reporter for our daily announcements and an affiliate of Peter Parker. As I'm sure you all know, it was reported yesterday by the Daily Bugle that Spider-Man's secret identity is a boy named Peter Parker, and that Spider-Man is a so-called 'selfish murderer.' Well, I'm here to tell you that none of this is true. I know, I'm just a highschooler, but having to write several research papers for this school has taught me how to provide a statement with legitimate backup. That's what I'm here to do today.

"Mysterio, who's real name is Quentin Beck, was introduced to the world as a hero, fighting off creatures called Elementals that wrecked havoc throughout Europe. When one of these Elementals reached London, the footage shown yesterday was of Spider-Man and Mysterio on the London Bridge amidst chaos. Not only was that video altered to turn the blame on Spider-Man, but a creature called a Skrull is actually Spider-Man. Upon speaking with the head of SHIELD, I was given information on these creatures- they can shapeshift into whatever they want to be, as long as they've seen the organism before.

"Now, how do I know all this? One: after doing some light research on Quentin Beck, I discovered that he'd been fired from Stark industries in the past for his controlling and manipulative behavior. That'd explain his reasoning and desire for power. Two: upon asking a classmate of mine- who's an absolute prodigy in the field of computer technology and video- to review the given footage, they were able to find two small glitches in the footage that revealed the real video underneath, and further, unmask it completely. Abe, the video should be in your inbox. Pull it up and broadcast it, please."

You let out a deep sigh as you hear typing, then the sound of the real video.

"EDITH, turn off the drones."

The video clip finishes and the camera focus returns to you. "Now, I don't have complete proof on me about the identity claim I've made. But, as soon as the head of SHIELD gets back to me, I can prove it. What you do have confirmed, though, is that Mysterio was the problem. Spider-Man did nothing, other than do what was best for the safety of others. I have all the evidence lined up for you, and it's up to you to believe it. A message for you, Mysterio- if you're still alive- and your affiliates: don't mess with kids from Midtown Tech. We know what Spider-Man stands for, and so does the rest of the world. Trying to mess up his reputation from the grave doesn't help anyone. Sincerely, Y/N L/N and the students of Midtown Tech. As well as Peter Parker, who feels pretty attacked right now for no good reason. Have a great day!"

You smile into the camera before Mr. Harrington turns it off. You hadn't noticed them come in, but everyone on the news team had come into the room, all of them silent, dumbstruck. And then they started clapping.

You give them a tired nod and grin before grabbing your bag, saying hi to MJ and walking out. Thankfully, school hadn't started yet, but students were starting to arrive. You enter the bathroom and stare into the mirror, hoping you didn't just fuck everything up even more.

Your phone buzzes and Peter's contact picture (one of him in Hello Kitty pajamas, sticking his tongue out at the camera) fills your screen. You hurriedly answer.

"Peter! Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Janitors closet, 300 hall. Knock when you're here."

Butterflies flutter through your body as you run through the hallway, ignoring the weird looks from the couple that always shows up early to makeout against the lockers. You find the closet and knock, looking around to make sure nobody could see. The door opens and a hand wraps around your wrist, dragging you inside.

You gasp, balancing yourself, and Peter shuts the door behind you.

His appearance surprises you. He's the face of depression and hopelessness. Dark bags fill the space beneath his eyes, which are red from tears. The look makes you hate the world.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now," he breathes. "the news is buzzing about what you did. They got confirmation from Nick about what you said and, sure enough, every news station is broadcasting your claims with full evidence. Everyone's believing it and apologizing. Thank you."

You smile weakly and wrap your arms around him. "I did what I had to do."

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he mutters into the crook of your neck. The scent of your perfume makes him feel all tingly inside, the softness of your skin making him never want to stop holding you. You felt the same way.

"Ditto."

+ + +

akdjxfbavdgkjnwrjk i hope you guys enjoyed !!!!! tbh i'm not sure how to feel about this imagine lol

[clarabosswald]

okay so someone on twitter dug up this absolutely outstanding uhhh “”article”” on his dark materials in general and the golden compass movie specifically by one david j stewart and i just. i HAVE to break down at least some of it because it’s an absolute gem

(this is a bit long - there is a LOT of stupidity to cover here)

first of all, the url

i could honestly just end the post here because that line right there is a masterpiece by itself. screw eurovision, hellivision is the next hot thing

There is no movie any more evil than THE GOLDEN COMPASS.

that’s the first line of the article. what a first line. the most amazing thing is that in an entirely different context i can kind of agree with this claim

Philip Pullman is a sinfully proud, God-hating, militant atheist.

militant! oh wow. is the hdm fandom actually pullman’s secret army? like dumbledore’s army in hp? do we have secret meetings? i want in

The movie has been dumbed down

yet again i find myself agreeing with mr stewart

in the end the children kill God and everyone can do as they please.

people having free will? good lord, the horror. 

The movie is indescribably evil.

damn dude yet again you’re right but you’re kinda preaching to the choir here at this point

The word "demon" is repeated several dozen times throughout the movie, as each child has it's own lovable demon. 

this is the first time in the article that mr david j stewart stubbornly refuses to understand that there’s this thing called “concept” and “artistic license” and that in the context of the hdm world, pullman used his artistic license to change the common meaning of the word d(a)emon.  NOT TO MENTION that pullman hardly made up the concept of a daemon as a positive creature - “originally referred to a lesser deity or guiding spirit”, literally the first line in the wikipedia article about the classical concept of daemons. but yeah i’m unfairly expecting mr dave to do his research so i guess that’s kinda mean of me.

Witches by the hundreds are featured in the movie, and are portrayed as being good, helpful and rescuers.

for a moment i wondered what mr dave’s opinion on harry potter is like, but i can imagine it quite vividly.

The star character, a little girl named Lyra Belacqua, loves her demon (who takes various animal forms), and she has named him "Pan" (short for Pantalaimon)

somewhere inside of me, my inner hdm myth fanatic is screaming in rage at all the gross misunderstanding of the basic plot of hdm, but well we’ve got more serious problems here

Pan is the pagan god of sexual rape, lust and fertility.  Statues of Pan are often displayed showing him with an erection.

you know what’s EXTREMELY ironic here? pantalaimon isn’t named after that pan. he’s actually named after the greek saint pantaleon.  (mr dave now provides a link to his rage fest over narnia. good to know he’s against even blatantly pro-christian fiction.)

NOTE: Pullman uses the word "daemon." A "daemon" is just another term for "demon."

...no, honey, they really don’t, but we already know you didn’t do your research.

In the movie THE GOLDEN COMPASS, there are at least 50 references to a child's "DEMON."

imagine this grown up dude sitting in a movie theater watching a kids’ movie and counting the number of times the word “daemon” is said dkgsdaoighs

In one part of the movie, a missing boy (Roger Parslow) is found, but he is out of his mind and looks distraught because his DEMON has been taken away from him. Talk about twisting the truth around. The little girl who stars in the movie, Lyra, vows to find and return the boy's demon.

aslkdghsaodigho yeah this guy was definitely too busy to count “daemons” to actually pay attention to the plot

Pullman is hoping that unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie

no i actually think that at this point pullman didn’t want anything to do with the movie

The title for the trilogy comes from a line in John Milton’s Paradise Lost and Pullman views his trilogy as a re-telling of Milton’s poem (which means that His Dark Materials is in reality Pullman’s re-telling of the Genesis story in fantasy form)

no, not really, not as literal as that, but artistic subtleties seem to escape you quite frequently, my dear dave

In the trilogy, a young girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle against a nefarious [extremely wicked] Church known as the "Magisterium."

iooisadhgosdiahgosa i LOVE how dave made the EFFORT to explain the meaning of “nefarious” to the reader

Pullman's books are a work of darkness that every Christian needs to diligently expose (Ephesians 5:11)

damn dude can you believe hdm got so popular it’s referenced in the bible

America was founded upon faith in God, and the Communists are trying to rob it from our children

kefhsaoidgsdoh COMMUNISM CONFIRMED 

at this point in the article mr dave finally decides it’s time to talk about the story of the golden compass in mere two paragraphs. spoiler: the first paragraph is yet again dedicated to anti-pullman ranting. so much for that plot summary.

In the books, Pullman represents God as a decrepit and perverse angel who captures the dead in a “prison camp” afterlife.

damn the dude says he’s gonna talk about the plot of the golden compass and then goes ahead and spoils the amber spyglass just like that. where are your internet manners, dave

The story centers on Lyra, a young girl living at Jordan College in the Oxford of an alternate world where everyone is accompanied by a daemon, a physical representation of their soul in animal form.

this is the ONE time dave refers to daemons as what they ACTUALLY are. but i suspect he just copy-pasted this bit without actually reading what is said in it. 

One morning, Lyra's school Master

yet again someone was too busy counting words then remembering the plot/characters

Lyra then finds herself in a world where she must fight against evil, and here lies the controversy. Lyra is the "chosen child" who must do battle with evil. But in this story, the things that are good are evil (the church is the Magisterium, the bad group trying to gain control of all) and evil is good (daemons and witches are allies.)

it’s almost...... as if......... it’s somewhat........... symbolic.......... you know, that artistic device? symbolism? yeah? no...?

our darling dave then links to this piece as the source of his info on the plot of tgc and god that’s a whole nest of wasps i can’t even begin to deal with here. but it’s p entertaining how in only briefly reading the thing i can already recognize whole sentences who got copy-pasted by dave for his own magnificent piece of critique

Satan's Bid for Your Child

oh, WHAT a title for the next segment of the article. i’m hooked

Even though the books are strongly anti-God and anti-church, they’re getting a strong push in the godless public school system as curriculum resources.  First the God-hating Communists introduced the lies of Evolution into the public school system.  Then they kicked God's Word and prayer out of the public schools in 1962 and 1963.  Now they want to teach our children homosexuality and witchcraft.

communism! evolution! homosexuality! witchcraft! god, i’m trembling

dave goes on for a while without mentioning the movie again, just ranting against the world in general. parts of it are still amusing, though:

Evolution is in fact a religion, as is humanism, witchcraft and Satanism.

yeah man i miss it when in school we used to pray to darwin every morning before class started :(

It requires faith to believe Evolution because there is NO proof, or even evidences to permit study. It is tragic that young people today are being taught a theory that has NO proof whatsoever.  In sharp contrast, the Word of God is supported by an overwhelming abundance of scientific, historical, archeological and astronomical evidence.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD. WOW!!!!!!!!!!

Public school children are being taught religion; but it's the religions of Humanism (i.e., man is his own god), Evolution, New Age and now Demonism.

are daemians aware that daemonism is being taught in public schools as a whole ass religion??? damn

With the rise of the New World Order since the 911 attacks

holy shit dude dave is diving deep into the waters of conspiracy at this point

Surely Satan is already panicking, knowing that he must accomplish much in a very short time frame.  This explains why we see a flood of demonism, witchcraft and apostasy sweeping the world in an effort to destroy Christianity.  Have you heard about the new FLY Pentop COMPUTER for kids, which features witchcraft?  Did you know that Toys-R-Us sells a VooDooz doll for children?  It comes complete with a spell book, and pins to stab your VooDooz doll with.  I was at Barnes and Noble bookstore and saw a Teenage Witchcraft Kit.

THIS DUDE IS FUCKING WILD i imagine he started yelling at some poor employee for having witchcraft in that store

Doesn't anyone love God anymore?

this is sad.

The Bible condemns all forms of witchcraft—Voodoo, charms, spells, divination, incantations, palm readings, Ouija boards, psychics, witchery, sorcery, wizards, magic, potions, good luck charms, astrology, necromancy, spiritism, magic candles, mesmerism, hypnosis, astral projection, levitation, and anything else that invokes the power of Satan.

he actually............went through the trouble of listing all of that. from memory, no doubt

WE’RE BACK TO THE GOLDEN COMPASS AT LAST LADS

Instead of presenting the trailer on the homepage, The Golden Compass website uses audio to introduce the characters of the film and their respective demons, and then provides a prompt to "Meet Your Demon."  Twenty questions are presented which promise to reveal "your true character and the form of your demon."  Once you complete the questionnaire, you can send your resulting demon to your friends, presumably to build a community of young demons who will all later commune at the theater.  This is pure Satanism and it's being directed at our children.  Satan wants your child.  The Golden Compass series glorifies demonism, witchcraft and divination; while blaspheming God Almighty.

Satan Wants Your Child

In the movie THE GOLDEN COMPASS, children are being kidnapped by a mysterious group called the Gobblers and taken "to the North" where they are tortured by having their daemons separated from them.  This is the Satanic garbage that film producers and book publishers are vomiting upon our children.  Towards the end of the film, the starring little girl deliberately destroys the machine that was robbing children of their daemons.  Literally, the movie portrays the little girl as a hero for ensuring that all the other children can continue to be daemon possessed.  This is one sick movie, straight out of the pits of Hell.

it’s fucking ASTOUNDING how this paragraph could straight up pass as magisterium propaganda

How about you?  Our time on earth is short my friend.  This life will be over before we know it.  Is your heart right with God?  Are you saved?  Have your sins been washed away by the precious blood of Jesus Christ?

this dude got so fucking emotional over one bad movie he grossly misunderstood i am INSPIRED

our dearly beloved dave now goes on to quote yet another highly reputable source on the evil of the golden compass

"His Dark Materials" by atheist Philip Pullman

is “atheist” a title at this point? now that pullman is a sir, do they call him “atheist sir pullman” or “sir atheist pullman”?

Unsaved Heathens and Apostates Praise Pullman's Works of Darkness

do i get to officially call myself “unsaved heathen and apostate” because that’s one rad fucking title

Satan truly is the god of this world (2nd Corinthians 4:4), and he has many servants.

this is such a confusing fucking statement. how can satan be the god of this world if there is only one god? or two, because there is god and there’s also jesus? god i don’t know christianity never made any sense so this statement isn’t actually that surprising

Why would any professed "Christian" support Pullman's works of darkness, which he admittedly calls HIS DARK MATERIALS?

esteemed article writer dave is unaware of the existence of the concept of “references”

Sadly, ChristianityToday magazine promotes this vile filth, giving it a rating of 2 1/2 out of a potential 4 stars.  I give the movie a ZERO rating, and so should you if you love the Lord Jesus Christ!

yeah guys! we must purify this dirty world by giving bad ratings to hollywood movies! this is the only way to show jesus our love and devotion! 

Movie writer-director Chris Weitz has said he wants to make the next films more "iconoclastic," so consider this bit of sacrilege a taste of what is yet to come.  The word "iconoclastic" means "Characterized by attack on established beliefs or institutions."  In other words, the sequels to The Golden Compass are going to blaspheme God and attack Christianity much worse than the first movie.

man.... chris had good intentions. too bad new line fucked him over with how bad they butchered the movie in post-prod.

If we don't complain, then who will... the atheists?

this line is so confusing and meaningless and yet so timeless and iconic. wow

The Golden Compass is a Sicko Movie

i can’t breathe this sounds like an early 2000s compliment coming from a middle school bad boy who does tubular tricks on his skateboard

For Pullman, sexual experience is an essential part of becoming a full-grown human, despite the confusion and pain it can cause.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS THIS CONTROVERSIAL OR WRONG FOR NON-ACE PEOPLE KADSH;GOIDAGSDKJG

Children Using Divination to Confirm Guidance from Demons? "Lyra tries to consult the alethiometer to see if the daemons are right.”

Things Taking Wildly Out Of Context Making No Sense?

Kill God?

after reading this torturous rant? yes absolutely. next

Of course the idea in a trilogy is to read the second and third books, and not just the first.  Naturally Scholastic is selling nicely packaged boxes of the trilogy.

i love how dave felt the need to explain to us how trilogies and bookselling work. what a sweetheart

Blasphemy!  Children are being taught that killing God is quite a desirable thing to do.

will anyone ever understand that WILL AND LYRA NEVER INTENDED TO KILL GOD, AND WHEN GOD DIED IT WAS BY MISTAKE AND MADE THEM UPSET AND SAD? i mean this guy won’t, but people who actually read the books???

God and the Church Are Awful and Pathetic?

dave at this point in reading your rant i hate the whole of christianity. yes. next

Summoning Witches? “Serafina and her witches decide that they need to summon other witch clans....”

Mr Dave Is Unaware That The Word “Summon” Has Got Several Meanings

“He is so weak and old that he blows to bits with the first breeze, but his dissolution comes as a relief. It is as though God does not want the burden of leadership. In the end, Will and Lyra don’t kill God. Instead, they free him, and he becomes one with the universe again. The fact that God dissolves just like the newly freed ghosts suggests that perhaps God is simply the spirit of the living.”

i love how dave quotes this whole bit - ACTUAL GOOD ANALYSIS OF GOD’S DEATH IN HDM - without absolving any of its meaning

Conclusion The Golden Compass is evil.

i love this

children today are being challenged to hate Christianity, and are being invited to join ranks with the Devil's army.

damn i totally missed that bit about joining satan’s army in hdm

All we hear about nowadays is how religion throughout the ages has caused wars and suppressed people's rights.

it’s almost as if it’s true!

Increasingly, children today are being brainwashed to view Christianity as a power-hungry "MAGISTERIUM" (i.e., the evil organization in The Golden Compass), which seeks to suppress the rights of homosexuals, Wiccan witches, Evolutionists, abortionists, feminists and other degenerates of society.

WHAT a sentence!!!!!

The grave danger of Harry Potter and The Golden Compass

that sounds like one hell of an au

Christians are commanded not to associate with any professed Christian who is a drunkard, chases women, lives for money or lives in unrepentant sin.

and yet donald trump is president of the united states! go figure, davey

Public school children are being taught that the sin of homosexuality should be accepted; BUT, God says "No."  Now you know why homosexuals hate God's Word so much.

we’re almost at the end of the rant and dave didn’t reference balthamos and baruch even once and i feel ROBBED

Women in the 1960's embraced feminism, because they were told (just as Eve) that the higher powers were trying to suppress their rights.  Satan lied to Eve, thus creating a sinful power-struggle between her and God.

damn why won’t women just understand that men are like god :\\\

Satan is recruiting.  Satan has a bid for your child mom and dad, and he will stop at nothing to recruit your child's soul.

gotta admire the determination there

Again, The Golden Compass is evil.  It is not just a fantasy for children.  The author of the series (Philip Pullman) is a militant, God-hating atheist who has openly stated that his goal is to "undermine the basis of Christian belief" in the mind's of children.

dave decided that the best way to end his rant is to quote a line that already appeared in the text at least 2 times before. man, if you ever think you’re a bad writer, remember that at least you’re not as bad as this dude.

moral of the story is: dave probably needs some sleep. and professional help

[euphoricpixi3]

Secret Admirer | yandere!jungkook |2|

Summary-  ❝ There’s just something special about seeing someone lose their mind over love. ❞

Warning-  This work is pure fiction. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behavior in real life. Contains violence, manipulation, disability.

further links will be found in my bio

The poor boy nearly chokes on his coffee as you aggressively pull the closest chair to his seat.

Okay, so, you weren’t really an aggressive person, but you remember this one night, when you were super vulnerable to human emotions, you stumbled over this one article “We don’t need no man” and if you remember it correctly, one of the points was something along the lines of ‘Show who’s in charge of power’ so no one can’t blame you feeling threatened in a class full of men and if there was a moment to show power, it was the now before it’s not too late.

He stops.

Looks at you.

And before he could do anything else [wipe the coffee from his chin]

“I’m y/n” you say “and you are?”

The guy seems to do a literal double-take staring at you before murmuring something under his nose.

“Sorry, could you say that again?”  the smile appearing on your face probably looks like a badly sewed one.

Because if we’re being honest, you’re neither aggressive nor very daring.

In reality, you’re shy and a ball of fluff.

So you want to scream at yourself ‘what on earth are you doing’.

“Jeon Jungkook” the boy answers taking a big gulp of his literally steaming coffee.

Must be nice to have something stopping you from rambling, you think.

***

When the computer screen started to appear in 3D rather than in 2D you knew the class was coming to an end and it wasn’t hard to make an assumption.

You were screwed.

If you looked around, you could see that everyone had done at least half of the given assignment, you, on the other hand, were at the very start and all you wanted to do was scream:

“Kim Taehyung! I’m going to kill you for making me believe Word skills were enough to attend an IT class”.

Because no, it wasn’t.

So dear Kim Taehyung, fuck you.

**

The cafe you were currently sitting in was probably one of your favorite places in the whole campus.

There's nothing slick about it, no fancy fonts or white etching upon the glass. You could pick the whole thing up and send it back thirty years and it wouldn't look out of place. There aren't any tables with fancy umbrellas, just the uneven pavement baring the cracks of age.

After ordering a cup of black tea, you drift into consciousness. And then back out. The world is a blur, and random images seemed to float aimlessly around in the pool of your thoughts, as though they were being blown about viciously by a hurricane.

Tap on your shoulder momentarily brought you back to the outside world.

Turning around you saw Taehyung and Jimin looking down at you.

You know you should’ve asked how the classes went but you were just so tired. The whole world simply felt low resolution, a bad quality movie.

Managing to pull a tiny smile you move towards the window to let them sit.

“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see us” Taehyung’s smile could probably lighten the whole cafe.

He wraps his arm around your neck and ignores your whines as he runs his knuckles against the top of your head.

You easily pull away from Taehyung and for a few seconds just glare at him before turning to look at Jimin. “Hey” you mouth as he smiles.

“I need a minute,” you tell Taehyung after a moment. “Jimin’s grin threw me off and now I have to make myself angry again”.

Taehyung’s mouth hangs open.

And you think about how awkwardly it felt when the professor approached you and your empty computer screen, where you had nothing done, like actual 0%.

It doesn’t take much for you to snap back.

And by the look Taehyung is giving you, you know he’s not ready for the bomb you’re about to drop. You don’t know what look Jimin is currently sending you because unfortunately you’re just too soft for him and you're not about to let your angriness slip away.

After narrowing your eyes and taking a deep breath you open your mouth and have to immediately close it as Jungkook approaches your table with the cup of tea you have ordered.

“Fuck this is awkward” you mumble before sending a smile towards the barista. “Thank you!” you chirp and you can feel Taehyung freeze because no matter what happens, you never chirp only if you’re trying to soothe the rage you have in you at the moment.

Jungkook’s cheeks appear rose and he quickly asks if both Taehyung and Jimin wants anything else.

They do.

“Okay we good now” you take a deep breath again and the let the anger seethe into your bones.

“Kim Taehyung!” you almost snarl and you almost want to laugh the way his eyes get two sizes bigger, but not today. “What the fuck is going on in your head?”

Taehyung blinks. “I--”

“No. You don’t get to talk right now” you say, feeling happy about the way you sound.

Maybe that article was a good idea after all and not just a sign of procrastination because so far from what you’ve seen you learned way more reading it than reading the books for the test that you completely and utterly failed.

“What shooting star crossed the sky or what the fuck happened that you thought I had enough skills to take an IT class!” and from the corner of your eyes you see Jimin grinning.

that little-

The twenty-two seconds time out Taehyung uses to recollect himself.

“What crisis were you going through to listen to me?” Taehyung tasks furrowing his brows.

You look down your nose at him, eyes cold.

The table is quiet and tense. Not for long.

“Kim fucking Taehyung, I will personally take this bottle and shov-”

“Here’s your hot chocolate!” Jungkook jumps in and all of you startle.

Well except Jimin, he does that after a late second.

**

When Taehyung and Jimin leave to take something from Taehyung’s apartment, you know you should head back yourself.

Thunder rumbles through the sky and you kick at the sidewalk with your sneaker, fiddle with a gum wrapper in your pocket, watch as the crowd around you collectively raise an impenetrable mass of umbrellas.

You pull the black hood over your saturated form as you saunter in the soft rain, small pellets of water spitting on your hands as the remainder of the drops quench the scattered puddles decorate the asphalt. Through the heavy, yet so calming sound, your name being called gets your attention. You manage to lift your head up just a bit.

From the corner of your hood, you can see Jungkook jogging towards you.

“Hi” you smile starting to laugh, “I think it’s like the fourth time I’m saying hello to you”

Jungkook’s face breaks into a smile and you almost want to coo at his bunny teeth.

He hums and shrugs “I don’t mind”.

You squint as the rain seems to get only heavier “Why did you come up to me? Did I forget something?”

He shakes his head slightly before giving a sheepish smile “Not exactly, I just thought it wouldn’t be nice to let a girl walk alone”

“Okay I guess” you smile a soft manner.

**

And Jungkook is fun and shy.

One minute he’s blurting dozens of words a second, the other he’s blushing so much it almost hurts to watch.

But it’s cute, really cute.

When you seem to be getting closer to your apartment, he clears his throat.

“So, it seems like you’re having trouble with your class” he chimes.

“It’s really not my cup of tea” you answer groaning, just remembering the struggle you can’t help but shiver.

“If you want, I can help you”

You stop in front of your door, your head goes back and forth between Jungkook and the doors a few times.

“Yeah, I’d like that. See you tomorrow!” you smile as he almost bounces back. Like a bunny, you think.

**

You're not used to it.

Whenever you yell “I’m home” the only thing that meets you and welcomes you back is silence.

Slaughtering silence.

Tiredly you shove your sneakers before making your way towards Jimin’s room, seeing as all of the lights are turned off in the living room or kitchen.

His tiny body is hidden under numerous blankets and only now you realize how cold it is in the apartment.

He breaks into a smile as his eyes shoot up from the phone screen towards you.

For a second you just stand and look at him and for the first time, he looks different.

His eyes turn strained, his grin starts to falter. Before you can even ask what’s wrong he starts to cry.

His hands hurriedly wipe away the tears as they show, but there’s no use, the keep rolling down and soon he starts shaking and crying.

In no time you pull him into a hug and both of you lay under the moonlight. The only sounds are quiet sobs and whimpers escaping Jimin’s lips with the accompany of loud raindrops smashing against the window.

From the corner of your eyes, you can see the bright screen of Jimin’s phone and never finished sentence.

‘ i went to the dance studio today and i miss it… i miss my old life ‘

I’m sorry” you say, exhaustion mixed who knows what else making your voice crack.

tag list:  @spiritualotaku @seokchella @chimchimsauce @moostachoaway y @cadet-lea-05 @jjk-chan chan @quiet-because-it-is-a-secret @middlegguk @hobitoons @rebelskylar @bloggerbabesblog @v-2bucky

[monsterfluffandstuff]

WLW Mystery Monster Wildcard(Tera) Part 1

Part one is a lot of fluff and exposition and some heavy petting. And boy is it long. Part two will hopefully be coming soon, if enough people like Max and Tera. This one takes place in Hekkadia so it helps set up some of the other stories I’ve had in my unfinished folder for literally years now.

This is a free mystery monster wildcard so we will reveal what she is in part two, and there will be some smut if I have anything to say about it. Happy reading, and remember tips and/or feedback will tell me how much you guys want to see a part two. (If you do decide to tip on kofi or paypal because of this, put that in with your tip so I know to count it toward part two).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been years since you stepped foot in Hekkadia. Your parents had brought you here when you were younger, on a vacation. The town had been a sweet place, a bit touristy in summer, it really tried to cash in on its dark and storied history. There was a local farmers market…near the occult bookstore. The local bakery was small but everything was well made, and it was right across from the old timey apothecary. Mostly things like this were a fun nod to history, something spooky for the out of towners.

 There were also caves to be toured, hiking trails to be taken, a small beach to swim at, and more. It was perfectly located and it seemed mostly just like any other tourist trap town. However, there were things that you saw out of the corner of your eye. Places you had sworn you remembered but were not mentioned online, and you could never find them again in real life.  There was something distinctly other about this town, it wasn’t the spooky ghost tours or the witch trial re-enactments. There was something, deeper, unspoken, that drew you back.

 It had drawn your parents too and it resulted in taking seven vacations there in as many years. An eighth had been planned but, well, things have a way of going off the rails when you least expect it. So did your parents, to put it bluntly. You were at home when you heard the news. You were sitting alone, writing a report, a month from high school graduation and three months from your eighteenth birthday. The emergency bulletin flashed across the screen of the TV you were using as background noise. Pictures of a train being attended by emergency responders played in a terrifying slideshow. That’s when your phone started to scream at you.

 That moment stretched out so far in front of you, the phone seemed to ring forever. You had been holding your breath without realizing it, so you let it out and you answered.

 The service was beautiful, your parents had pre-paid so you didn’t have to worry about planning or fundraising. They had always thought ahead, a habit you had never perfected. A few tweaks were made, as they had not planned to be taking their leave simultaneously, but you made sure that what was important to them remained intact.

 You glanced at the mini urn in your passenger seat, a bit of the both of them. They had promised this trip to you, and you were going to see it through. They’d been gone 5 years, this past May. You were 22 soon to be 23 and you had tried each year to make the trip, always in the fall. But you couldn’t. It was a hard thing to do. Going there, alone, meant they were really gone. This was a fact you had been working to accept. You’d been in therapy for about a year now, because of this, and other traumatic events. Therapy, you thought, was what had finally given you that little push to come back.

 Now it felt like you were standing on the edge of a cliff and that little push might just send you over. You were afraid, but the closer you got, the stronger the pull. After five hours on the road (two of which were spent on pit stops to deal with the feeling of impending doom you felt) around about one P.M, you pulled into a parking spot in front of a familiar inn. It was painted Pastel blue with dark grey trim, and the sight of it made you feel more at ease.

 You lugged your suitcase inside and waited at the front desk, for the old man who ran the inn. When he peeked out from behind the counter, you couldn’t help the smile that came to your face.

 “Hello, Ma’am. How can I help you today?”

“Well, I have a reservation, it should be under Ludlow.”

 He scanned the computer screen for your name and it took all of five seconds for him to recognize it.

 “Ludlow…Max? My stars! Little Max, we haven’t seen you around here in, oh three years now. It’s nice to see you didn’t forget about us.”

“Oh I could never forget about you Mr. McShane.”

 Mr. Evan McShane calling you “little” had always made you laugh just a bit. You had been taller than Mr. McShane since you were twelve, and your weight didn’t exactly fit into that description either. Then you thought of your parents and you smiled, a bit nervous. You knew you would have to tell him, and several others. The story you had practiced was condensed for convenience, prepared to be repeated over and over.

 “I was otherwise engaged, you could say. I always planned on coming back, it just took a while.”

“Ah, well, you’re here now, that’s what matters. I don’t s’pose your Ma and Pa are waiting in the car.”

 You looked down and brought the urn into view.

 “No, they are-“you paused

“Right here with you.” He finished.

“T’would have been nice to see them again, they were lovely and pleasant, but I’m happy we have you with us.”

 He didn’t say he was sorry, and that made you happy. You had gotten so tired of that word. It was no ones fault they were gone. You knew they all meant well, but three years of knee-jerk apologies had worn you out.

 “Alright then, well Ms. Ludlow, you’ve booked at the best time of year. You get your pick of the rooms.”

“Really? How so?”

“Well we’ve got two other reservations today, both of our single rooms booked, and all the others are empty, so as I see it, you’ve got first pick. I’ll even let you have the double suite, if you keep it hush hush”

 McShane gave and wry smile as you pondered over the idea of having the suite to yourself.

 “I’ll take it, and I’ll keep it under my hat.”

 He met you at the end of the counter and led you up to your room. It was two flights up and at the end of the hallway. For an Inn that seemed so small from the outside, it was still very roomy. You remember thinking this was because you had been so young upon first coming here, but as you got older the effect remained.

 He opened the door for you and handed you your key. They still used real keys, heavy brass ones, hard to lose.

 You walked inside, wheeling your luggage with your left hand, your parents nestled in your cardigan pocket.

 “Oh wow, It’s so big…I can’t believe it fits in the building. That bed looks so comfy, I might just try it out for a nap.”

“I assure you it is a plush terrible thing, calls you back to it when you are desperately needing to be somewhere on time. I have the same one in my room, smaller of course. And you’ll notice we have television in all the rooms now. A necessary evil, I suppose.”

 He gave a look of distaste, tempered by time. He never had liked certain modern luxuries. He wanted people to go out and enjoy the town, not just conduct business as usual from the inn.

 “I haven’t seen that look since you finally got Wi-Fi. Don’t worry, I doubt I’ll be watching much of anything. I’ve been away too long to be distracted by syndicated programming.”

 “Good to hear, how long are you staying, dear?”

“However long I need to, if that suits you. I’ve booked one week, but I figure I’ll play it by ear, week to week, might even stay with Toddie for a bit. I’ve missed it here and I won’t let myself be pulled away before I’m ready.”

“Just give the word and I’ll extend the booking, it will be nice to have a familiar face around again.”

He turned away and then looked back.

“Now I’ll be getting back downstairs to wait for the other two guests, enjoy you nap, and be sure to check out your attached room.”

 He practically dashed away as if he knew you’d raise hell. And damn you would have. A few of the rooms had a microwave and a mini-fridge. Some also had a hotplate, on request. This one, however, had a small but well equipped kitchenette, in addition to a massive tub in the bathroom. Suite was not a misnomer. It was divine. You would wring his neck for letting you have it for so little.

 You felt yourself slouch and sigh, the wringing would have to wait. You were exhausted from the emotionally taxing trip, not to mention the distinct lack of sleep the night before.

 You shirked off your cardigan, and changed into some shorts before getting cuddled up in bed. You did switch on the T.V for some background, and you set your alarm for two hours. No use sleeping the day away.

 As you drifted off you felt this odd comfort. You felt safe, at home.

  You woke to your phone yelling at you. Caller I.D said it was someone you’d been avoiding like the plague. You were thankful though as you seemed to have slept through your alarms.

 “Hey uncle.”

“Hey Max, what’s shakin’ bacon?”

 Your uncle, lovely as he was, was a worrier in the highest regard. You’d been thick as thieves growing up, he’d been more like a cousin, really, considering he was hardly ten years older than you. Ever since your parents died, however, he had taken it upon himself to act a touch more paternal.

 He had taken a leave of absence from work, and come to stay with you, insisting on trying to maintain some sense of normalcy and routine in your life. Routine typically didn’t involve stun guns, pepper spray, and check in calls, but he was so worried about something happening. You humored him, even after you turned eighteen.

 He lived in Hekkadia full time, having moved there not long before your last trip there. Seeing him would be a highlight of your stay, but you wanted some alone time before being thrust into the spotlight. You knew he would probably have arranged some sort of welcome party, or maybe he just put an announcement in the paper. It was just how he was, and you loved him, but you needed to take things slow. In fact, that was part of the reason you’d elected to stay at McShanes inn, instead of Uncle Todds.

 “Nothing much Toddie, just took a nap after getting checked in. Probably going to go on a walk soon, maybe swing by the bookstore and see if Lorna remembers me.”

 You heard him scoff on the other end, covered by a fake cough.

 “Of course, she remembers you dear, in fact she’s been asking after you. I’ve kept it very hush hush that you were coming back. I know you don’t want to be bombarded.”

 An errant smile appeared, sometimes Toddie did listen.

 “However…”

 You groaned internally, yes, sometimes.

 “I did hint you’d be back soon, and someone else was quite keen to hear of your possible return.”

 “Who? Todd Verne Ludlow, what did you do.”

 “Calm down, and don’t you dare use that name, I’ve successfully avoided hearing it for almost a year now.” He said with a small laugh.

“It was only Tera. She’s missed you, after all you used to spend so much time together when you were here. And she said you’d been distant lately. She’s been worried.”

 Tera, she had been your best friend in Hekkadia. After a time, around fifteen, you realized you saw her as more than just a friend. At that awkward age you’d never been able to muster up the courage to tell her, especially seeing as she was two years your senior. Now two years would be no big deal, but back then it was a gap too large to ford. You had been planning on telling her when you went up last, but life happened, death happened, and your emotions had been hard to get a read on ever since.

 “Oh…Tera…um…I- “

“Just go see her when you can, she still works with Lorna at the bookstore, though that old place has changed a bit, I can tell you. Maybe you can have a coffee and ask her how she’s been. Just don’t ask about her love life, she’s a little tired of talking about it right now.”

 You did keep in contact to some extent, but you had been busy figuring out how to be an adult, and she had been busy helping Lorna run the bookstore and finishing up her bachelor’s in business. You must have missed the love life update, since you hadn’t talked much these last few months. Bad breakup? Or maybe something had become serious. An engagement? You had always assumed she was straight anyway, and it had been years, a schoolgirl crush wouldn’t last so long. So, imagine your surprise when the blow to the chest still came. It felt like a piece of you was ripped away. And it hurt.

 “Yeah, uh, Toddie, I’ll head over there today, um, do you want to meet me- “

 “Max, we both know you don’t want more witnesses to what you have to say, and this old man will only cramp your style. How about we meet up for dinner later? My treat.”

 You sighed, a bit relieved. What ever happened in the next few hours, good food would be necessary to soften the blow of what you felt was inevitable.

 “Sounds great, I’ll see you later then, Love you… Verne”

 You hung up fast, almost laughing at the swearing on the other end.

  Todd was right, the bookstore had changed, chiefly in that it was now a café as well. They must have expanded into what used to be a chain coffee joint next door. It was very open, they’d obviously knocked down the dividing wall. And the amalgam was now known as “Witches brew”.

 “Now I see what he meant about grabbing a coffee.”

 “Max!!!!”

 You heard Lorna over the noise of beans being ground, and saw her rushing towards you, apron strings whipping behind her, like a flag in a strong wind. The hug you received was like a vice and you patted her back, smiling at the chatty brunette.

 “Oh, dear Maxie, I wondered when we’d be seeing you again. We’ve missed you so much. I keep telling Toddie to get you to come by, and finally here you are. Oh, we are so happy, aren’t we, T?”

 “Indeed, we are.”

 You heard Tera behind you and your face went red, you felt a chill run down your spine. As Lorna released you, you turned to Tera and your heart jumped into your throat.

 ‘Schoolgirl crush, my ass.’

 Her hair was inky black and plaited into pigtails, her nose was pierced now, and she wore the glasses she had so despised when you were younger.

 “Tera, it’s so good to see you, I’m sorry I haven’t exactly consistent with my messages, I- “

 “Save it, we can talk about all that in a minute, first let’s get caffeinated.”

 You silently thanked her that she wouldn’t make you have this conversation in front of Lorna.

  Ten minutes later and you were seated in the back of the café, far from the dismal gathering of high school kids reading Hamlet at the tables by the bookstore.

 “So, Max, how long have you been in town?”

 You took a healthy gulp of a frappe and began to reply when the brain freeze hit you.

 “Ah…fuck that smarts…”

 Tera snorted as you floundered.

 “Try pressing your thumb to the roof of your mouth.”

 You did, and it was over in moments.

 “Thanks, uh…wow I’m so suave, aren’t I?”

 “Nah…but I’d say you were cool.”

She smirked and sipped some kind of concoction that smelled like oranges and chocolate, you made a mental note to try that next time.

 “Well I just got into town today, you guys are my first stop after I dropped my stuff off.”

 “Oh yay, so I’m still your favorite?”

 ‘You have no idea’ You thought, your face starting to heat up again.

 “I mean…yeah- of course, I just…I missed you… you guys a lot.”

 Her face seemed to fall at “you guys” but maybe you were just imagining it, she did seem tired after all.

 “Well I’m glad you stopped by, we’ll have to hang out soon. If there isn’t anything else, I have to clock in and- “

 She was suddenly in a hurry to be anywhere else but as she got up, you did too, and you took her hand before she could leave.

 “Wait, Tera. There is something else, a lot of something else.”

 This was it, it needed to happen, if you didn’t do it now, you’d never manage it.

 She looked back at you just before you stood up on tip toes and kissed her cheek. It was chaste and maybe juvenile, but you’d never kissed someone you liked this much before, hell, you’d never liked someone this much before.

 She looked shocked and for a moment you thought you had supremely fucked up. That is, until she wrapped both arms around you and kissed you square on the lips. It was quick, but sweet and she looked down at you after.

 “I didn’t misread that right?”

 You shook your head so fast your beanie almost went flying. You didn’t trust your mouth to do much of anything else at this point.

 “Awesome because I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.”

  Lorna saw what happened and threw a wolf whistle your way, right before she told Tera that she could handle the shop without help today. The young man working the bookstore counter looked a little sad, but still wished you both a good afternoon on the way out.

 You walked and walked, holding hands, mostly silent until you got to the park and found an empty bench. You sat, and she immediately decided your lap was pillow material. After acclimating to having her so close, you worked up the courage to ask her what you’d been avoiding.

 “So how long?”

 “You first, killer, you made the first move.”

 You huffed and moved a few loose strands away from your face.

 “Remember that summer I got a nose bleed when we went to the beach?”

 “Yeah, you soaked a hand towel and we almost took you to the hospital, we were so fuckin worried- wait.

No… you are such a fucking anime character.”

 “Hey, can you blame me? I was some girl who was still figuring things out and then you and your beautiful self, ambushed me and I was never the same. Besides I’ve always had a very delicate nasal membrane.”

 Exaggerating the last part, you stuck your nose up in the air and sniffed, trying to make her laugh.

 She smiled and kissed your palm, playing with your hand.

 “Your turn, bombshell, when did you realize you liked me?”

 She looked a little nervous, an expression that her face seemed unaccustomed to.

 “Well I think I’ve had a crush on you since that sleep over when we watched the princess bride. And I annoyed the hell out of you by only answering with “as you wish” and you pinned me down to try to tickle me and I just sort of realized I really liked being that close to you.”

 “Aww you are so cute when you blush.”

 She nudged you with her shoulder.

 “Cut it out, I’m not cute, I am fierce and powerful.”

 “You can be all three.”

 She smiled at you.

 “Max, I’m being serious now. I really didn’t want to admit it. I felt a little weird, and I had a boyfriend back then. I figured it was just one of those things. But then, it never went away. I’ve tried dating again since me and Patrick broke up, one of them got a bit serious but ended really, quite badly. None of them seemed to be what I was looking for.”

 Patrick had been a very long term high school sweetheart. He’d been nice enough, and he must have had some trick up his sleeve to have held onto Tera for three years. This other one however, you didn’t know about, maybe you’d ask Lorna, see if there was anyone you needed to put the fear of gods into

 You fiddled with one of her braids and didn’t know how to respond. She looked up at you, with a sad smile.

“None of them were you.”

 You brought her face up to yours and took off her glasses before you kissed her, properly this time. Your noses bumped, and you felt her smile. She repositioned herself, sitting in your lap, and wove a hand into your hair. This proper kiss may have turned into a snog at some point. When she opened her mouth, you opened yours and she sucked on your tongue while her other nails ghosted down your back, leaving trails of prickly warmth. You felt yourself getting wet, arousal was not a new feeling, but the intensity was mind-blowing. She tasted like oranges and spiced chocolate and you never wanted to let go. You got bold and nipped at her lip after she relinquished your tongue and you heard a quiet little whimper that made you want to travel further down. You pulled away only to lavish kisses on her throat and the crook of her neck.

 It was then that you remembered where you were. A dog barking in the distance clued you in. You were both a little breathless and you were smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.

 “Well, if you’ll excuse how selfish this sounds, I’m glad none of them were me.”

She smiled and kissed your forehead, then the smile faded, and she began to worry a strand of your hair.

 “Max there is one more big revelation that needs to be had, but I don’t want to ruin today.”

 “Tera, unless this is your telling me that you have a husband and three children, I’m sure I will take it just fine.”

 She looked unsure.

“Okay…but could it maybe wait till tonight. We could get together, somewhere…private?”

 You took the worrying hand and kissed the tip of each finger.

 “How about you join me and Todd for dinner tonight, and then I’ll take you to the nicest suite in town, for dessert?”

She thought for a few moments, and then nodded, finally meeting your eyes.

“That sounds perfect. I take it you aren’t staying with Toddie.”

“Not tonight, at least.”

 She gave a devilish little smile and tugged your hair ever so lightly. 

“So, I can be as loud as I want?”

Your face turned several shades of strawberry and you rested your head on her shoulder.

“You’re gonna kill me talking like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do we think? are they worth a part 2 (or even more) I run on feedback and tips so tell me what you thought.

[kimjoongs-main]

reverse idol!jisung

↳ requested by: Anonymous

↳ type: bullet scenario

↳ warning(s): minor swearing

okay so you’re a member of a new girl group from SM, and you’re the main dancer

and our dear jisungie is an SM stan so when you guys first debuted he was there for it

jisung’s more of the super chill stan, but when he loves a group he l o v e s a group

at first he wasn’t too keen on your debut song, it didn’t necessarily fit his style of music much,,,,but then,,,,he went online and saw the fancam of you performing on stage and he just—

he fell in love instantly

jisung’s always been drawn to the dancers of the groups he stans bc he loves to dance himself

after watching your fancam, he immediately started to learn it,,,,and who’s part did he learn???? yours ofc :)

oh yeh i forgot to mention jisung has a dance cover account that he shares with his bff chenle, and sometimes jeno and jaemin make an appearance too

he called chenle up on the phone and was like “dude come over now we have new choreo to learn” and his excitement got chenle all excited too and he zoomed all the way to jisung’s house

these two spent like...2 hours learning the dance and then they fINALLY got it

after practicing a bit more, jisung decided it was good enough to record and post and that’s what they did

as they waited for the video to load, chenle asked “hey, wouldn’t it be cool if they noticed us?” and jisung just gives his best friend this look like nuh uh that’ll never happen and chenle just shrugs “you never know ji”

bUT LITTLE DID EITHER OF THEM KNOW,,,,CHENLE WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT BC THE VERY NEXT MORNING JISUNG RECEIVED AN ONSLAUGHT OF TEXTS FROM THE GC

he opened his phone and the first thing he saw was a picture jaemin sent him and he almost dropped his phone

bc the picture was a screenshot from your group’s ig story that showed you and another member from your group watching jisung and chenle’s cover of their song

and the caption written on the bottom said “wow! we’re glad to see how talented our fans are~ you guys did amazing!”

and yeah it was safe to say jisung almost fainted right then and there bc wHAT??? HE’S BEEN NOTICED??? AND BY YOU OF ALL PEOPLE????

he doesn’t even bother replying to the gc, he just kinda flops on top of his bed and stuffs his face in his blanket

he couldn’t focus at all at school that day and somehow ended up getting detention and chenle had to step up and defend his ass

after that incident, jisung’s love for you and your group only continued to grow and he was no longer a casual stan, but a full-fledged one

whenever you guys had a comeback, he would stay up late waiting for the mv to drop and when it did he’d just fanboy while flailing your lightstick around like an idiot

unfortunately he never had the opportunity or the money to attend any of your fansigns, fanmeets, or concerts

so he would just support through a phone/computer screen :’)

bUT ONE DAY chenle managed to score two spots at your upcoming fansigning and ofc he asked jisung to come w him on the condition that he bought chenle’s lunch for the next week and jisung just kinda died right then and there

this kid couldn’t tone down his excitement, so much so that renjun threatened to tie him to a chair so he’d stop moving

however the day finally came and jisung was just super super happy and on the car ride there he made his mom play your newest album and he and chenle just screamed the lyrics inside the car

once they got to the venue, jisung started bouncing around getting all excited and his hair kept floofing up and down w him :(

even chenle had to put his hands on jisung’s shoulders to calm him down just a bit

but once the line started moving, chenle couldn’t contain his excitement anymore either

they made their way inside along w the rest of the fans and sat down in their seats, waiting for you to come out

while they were chilling for a few minutes, chenle turns to jisung w this huge grin on his face and asks him if he thinks you’ll recognize them from the video

at first jisung gets all excited at the thought of it, but then he realizes

that video was posted a while ago and i bet they’ve seen more, better dance covers than ours so it’s highly unlikely they’ll recognize us

jisung starts pouting and tells chenle what he thinks and pretty soon they’re both just clutching onto your album and pouting

but that all goes away when some fans start freaking out and jisung strains his neck to see what’s going on and then he just freezes

bc “holy crap chenle omgomgokg they’re coming out omg” and jisung loses all his cool and starts hitting chenle rapidly on the shoulder

jisung’s never understood what the word starstruck meant,,,,until now

bc there you were, standing on the small platform w your members, a big beautiful and bright smile plastered on your face as you wave shyly to the fans

he almost drops the album he’s holding lol

but anyways, you guys each introduce yourself and jisung has to restrain himself from freaking out when it’s your turn

his other hand is currently gripping chenle’s so hard that chenle’s hand is turning white, but do either of them care at this point?? the answer is no

after introductions, you and your members sit down at the long table and soon fans start lining up to meet you

jisung and chenle are somewhere in the middle so it doesn’t take long before it’s their turn

you’re the last one at the table and the closer jisung gets to you the faster his heart races and his hands start to get clammy bc omg you’re literally two feet away from someone send help i feel dizzy

but then :’) he reaches you :’) and the smile that you give him :’) makes his heart flutter :’)

“hi! nice to meet you” you greet him and jisung shyly responds back, his nerves getting the best of him

you gently take the album from his fingers and open it to your pictures, looking up once again and asking him for his name

“oh,,,,my name’s j-jisung...park jisung” he manages to get out

but upon hearing his name,,,,,you freeze,,,,the tip of your marker hovering over the page as you whip your head up to stare at him in shock

jisung’s taken aback by your reaction and his furrows his eyebrows “is...is something wrong?” he asks and you just lean forward and narrow your eyes at him

“your name...i recognize that name...you wouldn’t happen to be the park jisung, would you? the one who does all those yt covers?”

...

jisung.exe has stopped working

i’m not kidding,,the kid just stopped

stopped blinking,,,,,stopped talking,,,,,,,stopped breathing—

you’re starting to get kinda worried so you laugh nervously “um, you okay jisung?” and that immediately snaps him out of it

he clears his throat and answers shakily “uhh yeah...that’s me...” and then he reaches up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly, refusing to meet your eyes

but then you brighten up instantly and you’re like “omg i’ve been a huge fan of yours! after i saw that dance cover you did with your friend, he was the one who was just here right, i watched your other videos and you’re so talented!”

jisung.exe has stopped working,,,,,again

okay not rlly but after hearing what you said jisung just kinda !!! and his heart goes wee bc holy shit you recognized him and even complimented him on his dancing

YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, THE ONE HE’S BEEN A HUGE FAN OF SINCE YOUR DEBUT JUST SAID THEY WERE A FAN OF HIS AND CALLED HIM TALENTED—

unfortunately, the moment was short-lived as your manager began rushing jisung to go so that the line could keep moving

but before he left, he told you “thank you so much that means so much coming from you!” and you flash him a sweet, genuine smile before turning to the fan in front of you

jisung almost tripped walking down from the platform, luckily chenle was there and he was watching the whole thing

when jisung came down, chenle just raised his eyebrows at him in confusion but jisung had this goofy grin plastered on his face and a dazed look in his eyes

once the two of them get back to their seats, chenle violently shakes jisung and is like “wtf happened up there why do you look like you just the lord himself jisung sNAP OUT OF IT”

and jisung just,,,,he looks at chenle and starts squirming and smiling sosososo big bc “chenle they recognized me! they recognized both of us, from the dance account! THEY SAID I WAS TALENTED”

and chenle just loses it and the two of them silently fanboy in their seats and the other fans just stare at them like wtf???

but the rest of the fansign, jisung’s just a happy little bean and your comment filled him with an infinite amount of motivation and he knew that once he got home he was going to practice and improve his dancing

soon the event comes to a close and you and your members walk up to the edge kf the platform again, thanking all the fans for coming and then making your way off stage

but before you leave, you see jisung and chenle and your eyes light up, and you unconsciously give the two of them a double thumbs up

which didn’t go unnoticed by either of them ofc

later on, when jisung gets home he immediately goes to his room and flops down on his bed and sighs happily

today might have been one of the best days of his life bc not only did he get to meet you in person, but you even recognized him and complimented him on his dancing

he looks over to the side and sees the album that he brought w him resting on his pillow

jisung rolls over and grabs the album, flipping through the pictures and stopping at the one you signed, expecting to see your signature

but no,,,,that’s not all

bc at the very bottom, right underneath your autograph,,,,is a mesage

“hey, it was so cool meeting you today! i can’t wait to see your dance cover of our new song ;) haha, just kidding! keep doing what you’re doing jisung, i’m you’re #1 supporter!”

jisung’s stomach does a flip again and his cheeks start to flush like skfkdkakwl wow

he takes a minute or a hundred and just kinda,,,,stares at his ceiling

but then suddenly he shoots up and grabs his laptop, searching thru yt until he finds the video he’s looking for: your dance practice

a few days later, you’re scrolling thru your twitter feed when you receive a yt notification

recognizing the channel, you gasp and immediately tap on it

seconds later, a video of jisung pops on the screen and the familiar sound of the bass fills your ears as you watch, fascinated by how flawlessly he executed the moves

once the video finishes, your finger moves to tap on the replay button and again, you’re just mesmerized by jisung’s talent and passion for dancing

you couldn’t help yourself at this moment so you hit the share button on the video and posted it on your twitter w the caption: “park jisung never disappoints 👍🏼”

[v-le]

Kmusic: My artists in 4 months

Foreword: PHEW this one took a while.... but I have really had so much on my mind lately that i knew i just HAD to churn this one out asap... I also would’ve tried to include videos rather than images but it’s a pain in the butt... I guess my vids will be top secret for now hehe. But really. a true blessing, these 4 months. Ah, I still really cant believe it..

--

If you were to ask me how I felt about my first semester at Yonsei and simply the past 4 months in Korea, from August 21st to December 23rd, I would probably just emphasize how grateful I am. But to narrow down this deep affection for all the happenings, I would have to do so in a music context. It is such a fascinating and seemingly mundane thing to go on about: Why does my music mean what it means to me to this day? How have those values shaped my experiences in Korea so far? What does it mean for me going forward? These are questions I want to ask myself, reflect upon, and continue to explore as I await to begin another journey in Korea once again.

If I rewind to when I first started listening to Korean music, it would be when I was… I don’t even know. I was exposed to it since I was about 7 or 8 years old, when my sister was sucked into the very beginnings of OG K-pop: Wonder Girls, Big Bang, 2NE1, Super Junior, SNSD, SHINee, you name ‘em all. I’ve talked about this a lot, but during those days I was never particularly interested in that side of music. It didn’t make much sense to me and it just sounded mreh. But after several years of this exposure, I fell into my own K-pop obsession-hole starting with LEDApple, a very unassuming, catchy-music-making band. I was in it for the music. At first.

Okay, now fast forward past my kpop era: you can read all about it in my very extensive post from about a year ago here. But yes, lets leave that chunk of my life behind and think about where I stand from a “music maturation” perspective. Right here. Right now.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment or day or time in which I fell into the “deeper” side of Korean music. I am pretty certain that it simply occurred naturally, gradually. What I know for a fact is that I owe so much of myself to my music. At any given point in my life thus far, my music has defined a large portion of my identity: it really does mean a lot to me. I am constantly listening to music. To narrow this down into my current self’s context, my music mostly consists of Roy Kim, Sam Kim, DAY6, Kim Feel, Fromm, Jung Sewoon, Eddy Kim, Kwon Jin Ah, and many many many others.

These artists, the music that they make, is not K-pop. It never will be. I don’t care what those stupid Spotify playlists call some of the songs from these musicians, but they are not and never will be K-pop. (At most DAY6 could come closest to fitting). My discovery of each and every one of these artists varies from person to person of course, but most of my sentiments remain the same all throughout. I would give my everything for these people. But I want to make it very very very clear: it is not necessarily these PEOPLE, these faces, these appearances, these artists themselves that I am oh-so enthusiastic about. It is their voice & music. That is honestly all it really comes down to at the end of day. It is and has always been about the music.

I owe my deep appreciation for my music to several various factors ranging from emotionally & mentally detached parents & family, my somewhat introverted personality, and my incessantly over-analytical mindset. However, what exactly constitutes this deep appreciation is what I want to explore. A certain fact is that I hated high school. As I grew up through the ages of 13 to 17, I completely despised the American public education system that was high school. Without getting into the complex details about my community that was the heart of Silicon Valley and the various cultural pushes, I just have to say that high school felt like a sort of mental torture for me.

And during all those times, when I needed it the most, when I felt so completely lost, when I felt like no one would listen to me, nothing could console my distressed heart and mind, I always fell back to many of those artists listed above. Particularly to Roy and Sam. I owe them SO MUCH. They literally changed my life.

Home. 영원한 건 없지만. Your Song. These three songs, my life songs. Their lyrics literally saved my life. They mean everything to me. Without these songs from Roy & Sam, I would not be where I am today.

All my artists that I mentioned make their own music. They write, compose, produce, everything. They are the true masters of their voices (see, not K-pop). And so, when I listen to them, when I absorb their voices & melodies, I can sometimes really feel their sincerity, their yearning. I am so thankful for what they have produced for this world and for my ears to hear. However, within the past 4 months, I got to see, know, understand, and FEEL these artists on a whole new level.

In chronological order, here is a list of the artists I saw live &/or in person during my time in Korea thus far:

08/31 Roy Kim & Son Seungyeon @ Picnic Concert

09/01 Monogram, Baek Yerin, Kwak Jineon, Paul Kim, Bol4, Crush, Urban Zakapa @ Someday Festival (Day 1)

09/02 Fromm, Jo Hyunah, Jung Sewoon, Roy Kim, Yong Junhyung & Yang Yoseob, K. Will @ Someday Festival (Day 2)

09/08 DAY6 @ You Made My Day Fanmeeting

09/20 Roy Kim @ SNU Fall Festival

11/02 Roy Kim & Kim Haon @ Daellim Univ. Halloween Festival

11/04 Nam Woohyun (& Jang Dongwoo, Kim Sunggyu, Lee Sungyeol) @ 식목일 (Day 3)

11/10 Fromm @ Seoul Music Forum Mini Concert & Free Fansigning

11/11 Eddy Kim @ Miles Apart Album Fansigning

11/22 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Release Showcase

12/01 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Fansigning

12/09 Fromm @ "Midnight Candy" Mini Album Release Concert

12/16 Roy Kim @ ROchestra Live Tour 2018 (Seoul Day 2)

12/21 Sam Kim @ Lotte Tower World Park Christmas Busking

12/22 DAY6 @ "The Present" Christmas Special Concert (Day 1)

Breakdown:

Free: 5 events

Paid Tix: 6 events

Album Purchase & Application: 4 events

🌹 Roy Kim: 5 times

🌚 Sam Kim: 3 times

🌓 Fromm: 3 times

🎸 DAY6: 2 times

As an avid fan of many of these artists for YEARS, like Infinite for 8 years, Roy for 5, Sam since his debut in Apr. 2016, DAY6 since their debut in Sept. 2015, Fromm for over 4 years, Eddy for over 5 years, etc etc. I NEVER thought I would actually get to see or hear these people live. Okay, granted I saw DAY6 live back in Oct. 2017 as well as Sam & the entire Antenna fam in Sept. 2017, both in LA. But doing 3 fansignings????? Meeting and talking with Fromm, Eddy Kim, AND Sam Kim???? Seeing Roy FIVE TIMES??????????? Three times for FREE, once at a festival, and then even being able to go his end-of-the-year solo concert???????? Y’all…. It was literally a dream come true. A stroke of luck tenfold. Twelvefold. I saw at least one treasured artist a total of fifteen times. Whether it was at a college busking event, the Someday music festival, a fansigning, a fanmeeting, or even a solo concert. I was somehow there.

Seeing Roy live was something I thought I would never ever ever in my lifetime get to do. As I explained in my 1st semester wrap-up post found here, Roy’s situation with school made my hopes seem very bleak from the get-go. But still, my luck persisted 5 times throughout. I almost, nearly, COMPLETELY failed to acquire a ticket for his ROchestra solo concert, Seoul Day 2 show. It was probably the most energy-draining, stressful, painful and TERRIBLE ticketing experience I have ever experienced. And trust me, I’ve done lots of ticketing before (unfortunately). But after 1 hour of staying glued to that PC bang computer screen, I managed. And I went. And maybe I’ll have to do a separate post for it, but Roy Kim’s concert on December 16th, 2018, was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. Easily. It was so breath-taking.

But yes, enough with Roy. Fromm is my ultimate indie goddess and she has a charm that is so indescribably perfect. She decided to release a mini album over a year since her last one, in the middle of November while I was there and I wanted to DIE. It was suchhhhh a solid release, and I even got to attend a free fansigning with her as well for her solo concert for the album release. I LOVE her cheeky personality so much. And she really is just sooooo kind. I couldn’t have much of a conversation with her due to the time constraint, but I at least got to snap a quick selfie heh (which i wont exposed bc privacy ya feel??). Her solo concert was gorgeous in every single way; I honestly would be willing to pay any price to go to it again in a heartbeat. Even though it was for her “Midnight Candy” album release, it was basically a Fromm discography concert because she sang EVERYTHING and I was THIS close to wanting to cry because I just felt so grateful & happy in those moments. I love her I really do. Ah, also, 2 out of the 3 times I saw her, I wrote to her & posted on Instagram and she liked both posts for me :”).

Sam…. My luck with Sam was out of this world honestly…. I still get goosebumps thinking about how blessed I was to see Sam 3 times, 2 times in very special instances. First off. He announced the release of his FIRST FULL album after a TWO YEAR & A HALF HIATUS. Y’all. This boy hadn’t released anything for 2.5 entire years since his debut and then suddenly WHAM he does it. Somehow right when I was in Korea. AH… I still….. I’m still screaming inside. I screamed aloud in my room for a good 5 minutes straight when I first saw the news, and yes, to this day I am still screaming. His three pre-release tracks were GORGEOUS & Sun And Moon, track 1, literally brought me to tears without even trying. I had been missing his voice and presence for so long…

And then, for the full album release, Antenna announced a post in which if you pre-order his album when it comes out & email the Antenna staff with the receipt showing proof, you will be put in a drawing to attend his live showcase on the night of its release. OHMYGOSH. I knew I had to do it. I struggled a little bit & even felt like I was doing everything so untimely, but I am SO blessed that I really was able to order & pay for it, shoot Antenna an email real quick, and then nervously await my results for like a week. That one Friday the results were to be emailed out, I remembering feeling extremely anxious all throughout the day. I desperately wanted to go…. And at 6:00PM…. I got the email!!!!! I was literally shaking, hands & knees trembling and everything. I actually got invited to the ‘Sun And Moon’ 1st Album Showcase!!! Y’all!!! It was so amazing. It was the night before I had to leave to Taiwan early in the morning so it was quite stressful, but still!!!!! I felt so honored to be there that night: the venue was extremely intimate and Sam was soooososoooo gooooddd and the tracks he sang were sooo beautiful and just… everything about it was like a dream. I was truly blessed.

A week later…. Antenna announced Sam’s first FANSIGNING & once again I was overwhelmed with this “OMG I WANT TO GO, but how, should I really, but what about….??”. It was a physical album-purchase-based application process which means I had to go to this specific bookstore in Gangnam, buy x-amount of albums, and based on that amount, my name will be put into a drawing that many times. Very basic fansigning grounds. I already pre-ordered his album for the showcase, so I honestly didn’t really need another one… but I decided to test my luck & just purchase 1 measly album & see if that ONE album will help me get chosen. And o boy. I GOT IN :”)). When I saw my name on that list in the official fancafe post, I couldn’t believe it….

On the day of the fansigning which was happening inside a mall, starting at a certain time I was able to walk in and choose a random number from 1-100 and since I arrived early, I got to choose pretty early as well. When I saw my number I literally gasped aloud: #7. I know it’s a corny & cliché favorite number but only bc infinite ok. Being #7 meant that I literally say FRONT & CENTER of the stage…not even stage. There wasn’t a stage... it was just an open area. My turn came around very quickly because I was early and let’s just say I was a fking mess, repeating thank you over and over & literally, incessantly telling him how thankful I am for his music and how grateful that after all that time he took to came back, he came right when I was in Korea and how I was at Antenna in LA & his showcase too and thank you thank you, yadda yadda. Yeah…..I suck at these things I really do. Then, at the end of it all, he took a picture with the crowd of fans and ended up sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME LMAOOOOOOO. Okay here is a picture of maybe my biggest life accomplishment??? jk but no rly LOL.

look ma, i made it :”)

But really, the fact that I actually got to talk to Sam & just try to relay all my thanks that I have been owing to him for many years… wow… I’m still in shock and I am just so eternally thankful. I used to think to myself “damn, I wish I could talk to Sam one day” and damn…. I really did do it…

Eddy Kim was also another meeting that I could have only dreamed of before coming to Korea… His last release was 4 goddamn years ago oh my gosh… This fansign application was not a random drawing like Sam’s but just a “buy his album at this bookstore & u get in” sort of thing. To be honest I could blatantly tell that Eddy’s popularity is definitely not as comparable to the other artists that I cherish & I was quite shocked by this revelation. I knew for sure in America, who the hell would ever know him. But even in Korea, he seemed… just really not that well-known, especially from a music perspective. It was interesting and even a little disheartening to see. He was very kind & cutely impressed with my Korean skills and we literally just talked in a bunch of Konglish & once again I just kept repeating how thankful I was for his music in my life. How I waited for so long and his release literally matched up with my time there as well. Even though I never got to hear Eddy sing live, I am more than happy with the fact that I simply got to chat with him & relay my heart as best as possible.

After doing 3 full fansignings I have fully realized that as grateful for the opportunities I am, they are so difficult and stressful… To be given such a short amount of time to spill out my heart is essentially impossible for me LOL. I’d rather much LOVE to just to sit down with these artists not to fangirl or cry, but to have a real, genuine conversation about their music and why it holds so much sentiment for me. I would love to ask questions about their music and I would love to share with them how much it means me & why I am so thankful at the end of the day. That’s what I really wish I could do. Because even as I hurriedly expressed my countless thanks and probably sounded like a hot mess, I feel like I still just came off as a surface-level fan saying their thanks. But noo! In reality, I just wanted to relay how much their music means to me (I literally just typed this wow repetition is gr8). Which I feel like I really couldn’t do properly… I couldn’t get my heart across all the way ☹ but it’s okay because as I’ve been repeating, I am infinitely thankful nonetheless.

My first DAY6 event, their 3rd year anniversary 1st fanmeeting, was a bit of a flop for me simply because they talked wayyyyy to much & played stupid games & everything… and it was cute, but not what I was there for. I kinda wished I heard more of them singing, but it’s okay. In no way am I undermining this monumental day because I know it meant a lot to the boys & fans collectively. Jae could not participate due to health reasons & it definitely put a huge damper on the entire atmosphere, but the members tried their best and the entire audience even consistently sang aloud all of Jae’s parts during the songs when his voice was not there. They also sang a never-before-released track with Jae and they all just cried a bunch and me, sitting there, watching those light-wrist-band-thingies glow & beam & shine in-sync with the music, all sorts of colors, in a massive wave of lights & fanchants & music sewn together… wow it was honestly stunning & one of the most awesome spectacles I’ve ever experienced. Korean fans are really something else….

Speaking of which, attending 15 events during my 4 months there taught me many things about Korean concerts & fans that I find so extremely fascinating.

For most concerts, whether they are super hype-y & K-pop-y or a ballad one with minimal need for movement, when there are seats, fans with stay seated for the most part. In America, I feel like all fans tend to automatically stand (for basically all K-pop acts) regardless of the seating. But in Korea, at my experiences with DAY6 in particular (I also have heard that BTS in Seoul was the same), fans stayed sitting basically all throughout. The most like bodily movements they require would be the waving of their lightsticks. It was honestly pretty refreshing to see a generally calm & collected audience, at least where there was seating.

The fanchants are out of this world !!!!! Especially for the 2 times I saw DAY6, the fans were so on point with their fanchants: they were loud and clear and crisp AND THEY MATCHED WITH THE LIGHTS ON THEIR WRISTBANDS AND EVERYTHING wow was that so cool to see… The fans are super in unison & it honestly adds such a new level of energy to the experience.

SINGING !! Of course, since all these fans are Korean, they can actually sing all of these songs at concerts, unparalleled to international fans lol. One really cool moment at DAY6 that I will probably remember forever simply because this song is gorgeous & means a lot to me… but at day 1 of DAY6’s ‘The Present’ xmas concert series, Wonpil said “We’ve been on world tour for a while now and I’ve been wanting to try this out… if I play this song, can you sing for me?” and of course we all unconditionally said yes. And he started to play 그렇더라고요 on the keyboard & the ENTIRE AUDIENCE caught on immediately & we all sang the entire intro & first verse together in unison, as loud as we could, as the members joined in one by one w/ their own instruments, just watching us as we SANG FOR THEM. It was so cute & we even did it again with 장난 아닌데. This sort of stuff…. Wow…. Can only really happen at a domestic concert, which was honestly so so so beautiful. I LOVED IT!!!

No crazy, constant screaming during every part of the performance. Fans in Korea honestly only scream when necessary… ya feel? Sometimes at concerts, I feel like fans are just screaming at the top of the lungs the entire time, during every second of a song. But Korean fans chant when there is a chant, and cheer & scream when it really fits the situation. I really liked this more toned-down atmosphere from the Korean audiences.

I think that’s all I can really narrow down from my various experiences at Korean concerts compared to the ones in America… It really is quite different though, and I feel so honored to have witnessed this comparison countless times. I am really just honored to be there at those moments in general.

Which brings back around to this… upgraded level of connection towards my artists. After seeing so many of them in person and more than once for that matter, when listening to their music now… something definitely sounds different. When I listened to these artists before I saw them right in front of my eyes, their real, authentic voices blasting into my ears, I still felt moved, I still felt goosebumps, choked up, a bulging affection sometimes. And not that I have lost those feelings, no, definitely not. Now… now, when I listen to these artists through my earbuds or through my laptop… I can literally hear them in my ear. Does that even make sense? Well, duh… of course I can hear them. But like… it’s like… I can hear them on a much more intimate level than ever before. Now, I can really imagine & sense these voices in my head. I can pick up the sound of their breaths, picture their expressions, and really just HEAR their voices as if they were physically singing into my ear right there in that moment, in person. It’s such a peculiar and special and unique feeling that is honestly so hard to describe with just words…

But to be honest like… to this day I still cannot wrap my head around everything. I can barely count and keep track of all the artists I saw and when I saw them and what they sang. I feel like SO MUCH happened that my mind can barely grasp it all, as much as it wants to do so so badly… I still can barely comprehend it… years ago I would cry to Sam Kim, ponder how amazing he would be live… and then literally somehow, he sang two songs like 7 feet in front of me, and even sat right next to me. I thought Fromm was a goddess from another world: but I somehow got to talk to her & even take a selfie?? What?? I thought the world would never let me see Roy who always has his school life to manage as well…. But I got to see him live 5 times?? And even go to his solo concert?? WHAT??????? HOW????????? YOU GUYS, I could honestly go on and on and on because it still all feels like a dream…

In particular with Roy Kim… I say this to myself all the time, the irony is just… wow. Who would’ve known that after years of watching countless fancams, effortlessly memorizing his scarce yet existent fanchants, also memorizing set-lists without even trying, becoming all-too-familiar with things like the way he talks, addresses the crowd, sings specific songs, even all the way down to the way he does adlibs for certain songs… I unknowingly picked up & knew these performance aspects SO WELL through pure admiration, enthusiasm and just LOVE for every song he sings. And who would’ve known, that years later, I would have my very own fancams to cry over. After years of literally watching almost EVERY fancam of him on youtube, at all the various events he performed at, some years more frequently than others, today I can proudly say that I have my very own fancams of him, too. Ohmygosh, it’s still so hard for me to believe…

It really just….. *breathes deeply & tries to recollect self for the 24980164th time*…. It just goes to show… No, okay I don’t really know what it goes to show… But one thing is a fact: loving, cherishing, being thankful for, dedicating so much of my emotional & mental strength towards these seemingly-no-one artists has paid off tenfold. No, billionfold. I don’t even know. I just…. I just never thought I could do and see and hear and experience the things that I did. Never. These people…. These people have given me so much, and although I tucked them deep into the folds of my heart for years, I never thought I could truly open up these treasured feelings one day & TRULY support them with my very own eyes & ears & heart. IN person. I am just so so so blessed. So thankful. Really. Always.

Now, it’s time to bring myself to reality & to think about what this means for me going forward. I don’t want to believe in my passion for my music as a phase: Infinite & all things K-pop wasn’t simply a phase for me. It literally was a maturation, a self-realization, a loss of support for the things I never really knew or understood until time started to pass. I don’t think I grew out of K-pop. I think I simply grew with K-pop & got to understand more about it. And with that understanding came a change of heart. Which is literally the title of my post from years ago: “why I fell out of love with K-pop”. It’s not just “Oh, I am older now. So, I don’t want to like this seemingly childish stuff”. No, it was never about K-pop’s image or whatever. I can’t emphasize more, but it always comes down to the music for me.

Infinite has been and is a piece of my life that I will never forget. A piece of my life that has literally brought me to where I am today. I sit here, with my experiences and knowledge and feelings, in part, due to Infinite. I can guarantee anyone that much. And so, no, they really weren’t just a phase. Things change, people grow older, time flows. That’s just how it works. Does my heart ache over old K-pop like every day? Hell yeah it does LOL. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only thank old & 2nd-gen K-pop for the amazing memories that it has given me.

And so, with my music and my artists today, is this all a phase? Will I stop being as enthusiastic years later, like I did with Infinite? You see, with Infinite, I was always apprehensive. At the age of 12, I KNEW that time would eventually take its toll & my blatant love would not necessarily transcend the years that will drag on in the future. But that never made my appreciation for them dim: it only grew stronger as the days went by. I think I am always apprehensive. I think I always fear losing the feelings that I feel with great passion & love at this moment in time. Just as Roy says, 영원한 건 없지만. Nothing lasts forever (but...). I literally think about this all the time. It is such an important concept to me, and it is how I motivate myself to be thankful for everything and everyone and to just take things one step at a time. And so, to really answer my question: is this all just a phase?

I really, honestly, hope… No, I just think not. I really do not think so. At the age of say, 24, five years from now, will I still be loving Roy & Sam & DAY6 & Fromm & everyone else? I really honestly hope so. For as long as they can make music, I can keep loving them, right? Just as Infinite has done since I was 11, 8 years ago, up until today, I firmly believe that my artists can continue this long-lasting impression on my life. They instill a sort of magic & sentiment in my life that almost nothing else in this world can do for me. And for that, I will stay grateful for & only hope for the best.

Roy is currently back in school right now, finishing up his last semester before he finally gets to graduate! I am excited and proud and a bit sad all at the same time. But honestly, it really just comes down to the humanness of these people. When I first saw Infinite back in 2013 as a lil 14 year-old, I guess you could say I was starstruck. I was like “that’s them??!?? Those dudes ive spent countless hours watching through the computer screen?????? THEY ARE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME?”. I had similar thoughts at the LA K-pop Festival in Apr. 2014 when I saw many many many of the big, og k-pop groups at that time. It was hard to believe that these people are real. I would say that my experience with the “With Antenna” in LA concert back in Sept. 2017 made me come to this important realization. That was the first concert where I actually spent the entire time sitting down and just listening. Listening to these wonderful musicians playing their instruments & singing gorgeous songs & just absorbing all that godly magic in the air at that place in time.

I really got to feel how human artists are at the end of the day. K-pop is always built up to be this larger-than-life dynamic, but real artists… No, they’re so much more different. They are simply people, like you and me, with a passion for their music & they wish to share that passion with the rest of the world. That’s it. The sincerity & genuineness that goes into my artists’ music can literally be felt from all the way across the world, just through a few audio snippets, fancams, and grainy Instagram videos. And that is seriously so beautiful. They are so amazing at what they do, they truly are.

Roy’s last two songs from 2018 were purely love song ballads, and I am not complaining or anything. As solid and classic as these tracks were, I still miss that acoustic, healing tone from him. Before he left for school again, he mentioned several times that he wants to come back with music that will console listeners. I was honestly so genuinely happy to hear this. He knows, he honestly, really does. He has even said it before, but he knows that his music can literally lift people back up from the dead. He wants to do that for them. For you and me, who struggle in life when the going gets rough, he wants to be of some sort of help, no matter how minuscule. He knows, he really does. And that is just so beautiful. I am so proud of him & I can’t wait to see what he will have in store for us in the coming months (after his grad, that is).

To all my artists that made these 4 months feel like a literal dream: Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely. Thank you. Always.

늘 고마워요.

[moonprincess92]

Alliance Industries 

Cassian starts his 8 week internship at Alliance Industries with a goat in an elevator…oh yeah, and a hot receptionist. 

For @deadpanprincess Happy Valentine’s Day! MUCH LOVE <3 

I.E. a ‘they all work in an office’ au  (Read on AO3) 

PART 1 

He had to ride 12 floors in an elevator with a hot girl and a goat.

Sure, he had no idea what he was getting into with this internship, but truth be told he really wasn’t expecting the goat. He’d squeezed onto the elevator on the ground floor of the Yavin Building with what felt like a billion other people and while not exactly comfortable, he’d figured that he’d been doing ok. Maybe even fairly well, considering it was his first day of this internship and all. It was somewhere around floor five, however, when she walked on dragging said goat behind her and literally no one batted an eye. Cassian stared at the goat, then at his phone open on the last email he’d been sent from his future supervisor, and back at the goat again.

This hadn’t been on the website. 

He decided not to concentrate on the goat that was currently trying to eat the hem of the girl’s pencil skirt and rather stare pointedly at the numbers on the elevator wall as they climbed. If it hadn’t been for the subtle side-eyes, he honestly would have questioned the goat’s existence entirely, considering the lack of attention it got. People slowly filtered out without a word, and the girl and goat thankfully got off at floor eight. Cassian himself exited on floor 12, breathing a sigh of relief upon finding the giant sign indicating that he’d found the offices of Alliance Industries… although it was rather short-lived. The reception appeared to be utterly abandoned. Cassian glanced around anxiously, but he was rather alone apart from some haphazard papers scattered behind the reception desk and what looked like a gnawed on stapler.

Shit.

The email had just said to ask at reception once he arrived and that their receptionist would show him through the offices until his supervisor arrived at ten. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

He was just debating whether to email back or whether to try and find someone else, when he heard the elevator door open once again behind him. He turned to see the goat girl from before rushing out, her face flushed, hair coming out of its superb bun and swearing like a trucker.

“Fucking bollocking balls – I’m so sorry!” she called out. She dashed for the reception desk, not even taking the time to walk around, but instead catapulting herself over top of it. Sliding gracefully on her ass, she even managed to stick the landing in her high heels before turning and facing him. “We had a bit of an emergency – you must be the new intern!”

“Is the goat ok?” he asked, dumbly.

The woman, who was clearly the receptionist, blinked at him once before letting out a bark of laughter. “That goddamn fucking goat – it escaped from the insurance company on floor eight, we’ve been trying to catch it all morning. You saw?”

“I was in the elevator.”

“Jesus, I really am sorry – my name’s Jyn, I’m supposed to show you around,” she held out her hand over the desk and Cassian might have been a little blindsided, but at least had enough sense to shake it. She smiled at him, before hastily gathering up all the paperwork that had been scattered. She made to go and staple them all together, when of course she noticed the mangled stapler and cursed once more.

“I’m going to kill that goat.”

“It’s fine, I swear–” Cassian said, quickly.

He accepted his copy of the Alliance Industries Policies and Guidelines all in loose pages, although not without Jyn insisting that she at least find him a clip or something to keep it all together with. “Anyway, let me do my actual job and show you round,” she said, moving around the desk once more.

He was almost disappointed that she didn’t leap over it this time.

A few days later she was in the elevator again, only this time she was sans goat.

“Hey!” she said brightly upon seeing him.

“Oh, hey,” he said, talking awkwardly over the forced quiet that always accompanied every elevator journey. “no farm animals today?”

“You talk as if that was a regular occurrence.”

“When it’s the first time you walk in the building, can you blame me?”

“I swear, goats are not a usual thing at Alliance,” Jyn said. “But hey, I never caught up with you earlier, how’s your first week going with us so far?”

“It’s going…” Cassian racked his brain for words in English that would accurately describe the last few days he’d had. After the goat and his new supervisor Draven, he was starting to wonder if his university actually understood what kind of internship he had signed up for. “Is it always like this at Alliance?”

“Whatever it was that happened, probably,” Jyn answered with a slight smirk.

“They gave me my own office at least,” Cassian said. “Well – I say office – it’s just a spare cubicle they said I could have because the current employee is on leave until after I finish, but it’s nice to feel like I have a place here.”

“How long’s the internship?” she asked.

The tone was casual. Cassian couldn’t kid himself that there was anything more to it than that because flirting with the objectively hot receptionist was not exactly one of his tasks that would go towards his university credits. Still… he would be an idiot to not realise that with her ability to jump desks in tight skirts and heels, he wouldn’t exactly say no to flirting. It was fine. His heart was allowed to race a little imagining that she was asking because she wanted him to stick around.

“Eight weeks,” he answered.

“Sounds like ages, but that’ll go really quickly,” she said. He wanted to say more, except that was when the elevator stopped on their floor, and they clattered out along with several other people. He lagged near the reception desk as she walked behind it, booting up the main computer and opening the phone lines.

“Yeah, I guess it will. See you around?”

“Of course,” Jyn smiled at him from over the desk. “Have a good day.”

“You too.”

She was always there.

In the elevator, without fail, they somehow always managed to arrive at the same time, about ten minutes before eight. She would come over, pushing through the meagre space until she was at his side and would ask how his time with them was going. He was always brutally honest because he hadn’t been kidding when he’d wondered what he’d gotten himself into, and it seemed that if he wanted to survive this internship he needed someone like the Alliance Industries receptionist on his side.

The goat hadn’t even been the start of it. To be perfectly honest, Cassian wasn’t even sure any more about what the company actually did, which had to be saying something. From the initial application it had looked like a law firm, but the data he was analysing as his tasks covered everything from taxes to supply lists to transportation costs. One day there would be a meeting about the local market and the next, a photoshoot for the latest issue of Vogue, complete with full make-up crew, wardrobe and background models that would take over the entire office bullpen with their smoke machine and dramatic headpieces until eventually, several secretaries would manage to rope them into the right part of the building. Nothing about the company seemed to make sense, and every time he asked for clarification, the only answer he could ever get was along the lines of,

“I don’t know. Something to do with computers?” Jyn had told him quizzically once.

“You’ve worked here how long and you still don’t know what your company actually does?”

“I’m the receptionist! I schedule shit and take angry calls from clients, you think I know what kind of operation the CEO is running? This could be a black-market trade centre for all I know.”

(Cassian hoped to god he wouldn’t have to explain how he’d interned for two months with a black-market trade to his college professors).

Either way, the company kind of terrified him so much that it took an entire week just to get up enough courage to use the break room. 

Look, on his first say he had set one foot inside the room only to find everyone practically screaming as apparently, someone had accidentally set the toaster on fire. Rather than brave that, Cassian had promptly turned right back around and opted to eat his lunch at his desk. He might have just stayed there again if it weren’t for the fact that his lunch needed reheating today. Much to his relief, he’d only been hovering in the doorway to the loud and packed break room for a minute when someone had called his name and he’d looked up to see Jyn waving him over.

Thank god.

“So what’s it like having Draven as a supervisor?” she asked him through a mouthful of pasta once he had sat down with her.

“It’s…” he debated. Davits Draven, HR Advisor and Head of the Alliance Internship Programme, at least seemed competent and like he knew what he was doing. Cassian figured that he could be trusted to sign off on all his paperwork needed to get the required credits at the end of the internship… although there was the fact that according to two very gossipy PAs, he also apparently had a reputation of being ‘that dickhead who keeps calling meetings about shit that could 100% be solved through email’.

“It’s interesting,” Cassian decided on.

Jyn scoffed so loudly she nearly choked on her pasta. “You’re so nice,” she coughed. “Honestly, I’m pretty sure Draven hates me because I keep accidentally-on-purpose redirecting angry clients to his office phone.”

He tried not to laugh too much. She had sat with her legs resting long ways across one of the sofas that dotted the break room, but she’d swung them down when she’d called him over so that he’d have a place to sit. He noticed her heels had been tossed to the floor some feet away and she apparently didn’t give a damn if her pasta spilled all over her.

“Thanks for eating with me,” he said. He glanced over again at the other side of the break room where an argument was still apparently brewing over who was first in line for the microwave. It looked like it was all on the verge of boiling over and he added, “Also look, tell me the truth, am I going to get to heat this up today or not?”

“First rule about this office,” Jyn said. “never bring lunch that needs heating. You’ll never eat.”

“Noted,” He bitterly clipped the lid of his lunch container closed.

Jyn wrinkled her nose in sympathy. “Want some of my pasta?”

“Oh, I couldn’t–”

“Nah, it’s fine, promise–” She practically shoved the container into his hands. “It’s not the best, sorry. I’m not a chef for a reason.”

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Cassian said, warmly. “Your accent is British, right?”

“I am in fact one of like three British people in this office, yes,” she nodded. “I’m fairly certain my accent was the sole reason I was hired as the receptionist.”

“It wasn’t for your goat-wrangling skills?”

“No, believe it or not but those were just bonuses,” Jyn grinned. “What’s your accent?”

“I’m from Mexico.”

“Oh, nice. Sucks to be so far away though, right?”

“I’m not as far from home as you.”

“Still,” Jyn said through her food, barely pausing to swallow. “We’re the foreigners, we gotta stick together, you and I!”

He watched her in slight bemusement as they carried on eating in mostly companionable silence. The arguments over the microwave got louder and escalated to the point where someone actually started an official ‘Microwave Order’ list and others ditched the building entirely to go and buy something from the street vendors opposite.

Jyn snorted and shook her head at them. “Idiots,” he heard her say. 

“Ok, so on the first day, I was required to give you the official bullshit orientation of Alliance Industries,” Jyn was saying as she lead them through into the office bullpen. Cubicles lined the large room, phones ringing, colleagues talking over walls and the tell-tale noise of fingernails clacking on keyboards. Jyn glanced up at him and carried on, “You know, about getting your paperwork in on time and how to file complaints with HR, shit that no one really cares about. Today, I’m going to give you the real orientation.”

She started down one hallway lined with cubicles. Her hair was always tied back in some kind of bun, always professional, always poised, but the way her eyes sparked as she looked up at him said that this receptionist knew things. He was glad that she’d practically insisted on becoming his friend. She pointed out the first cubicle and said, “We start in legal. That’s Jason Biggs, he’s all right. Next to him is Han Solo,” she snorted a little. “You’ll never meet a bigger arsehole in your life, but he at least tries. Will hit on almost anyone, despite the fact that he is 100% in love with our PR manager.”

Jyn continued in this stride as they traversed most of the entire office. She pointed out colleagues, friends, the managers to watch out for, the ones to not cross under any circumstances, and the ones who could be bribed with coffee to extend your deadlines. She pointed out one of the HODs Raddus, who had apparently borrowed her hole punch once and never given it back, and a new hire in graphic design who everyone knew had a ridiculous crush on his boss.

Cassian’s brain practically swam with the onslaught of information. “That’s Shara Bey – hey, bitch!” Jyn called out then into one of the fancier corner offices. “You can count on her for anything, except being on time. She’s 30 weeks pregnant and insists he’s the reason she’s so slow. Her husband works in IT.”

“So… it’s ok to date colleagues here then?” Cassian asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Jyn leaned in the doorway to Shara’s office. “What was it Draven said at the Developing Professional Relationships seminar?”

“‘You can fuck each other in the copy room all you like, so long as no one has to see it’,” Shara snorted, not even turning around from her computer.

“It’s good, though,” Jyn mentioned after laughing. “It means everyone can just get it out of their systems, rather than cluttering up the office with sexual tension. Unless you’re Han and Leia, amiright, Shara?”

“The less said about those two, the better.”

“Anyway,” Jyn turned back to him. “next thing to know: understand what someone means if they say they need help with the photocopier.”

Cassian was about 90% sure the entire conversation was going too damn fast. His mind was overloaded with information, his brain couldn’t keep up in English (or maybe it was the way she laughed) but whatever the reason was, he didn’t quite catch Jyn’s meaning and he ended up asking,

“I’m sorry? What does it mean?”

Thankfully, she didn’t tease him. 

“It means they’re asking to go do it.”

He blinked. “But what if I actually honestly need help with the photocopier?”

She smiled. “Then you’re fucked.”

“Either way you’re fucked!” Shara threw back, making Jyn choke a little with laughter and step in to swat her upside the head.

They moved on from Shara’s office after that and honestly, Cassian was a little disappointed. She eventually told what seemed to be the life history of the entire office – who was sleeping with whom, who was looking to move up and who was looking for a new job, who had just transferred and who to make friends with so that you got free home-made muffins at four o’clock every Friday – but honestly, Cassian only wanted to know about her. And if there was anyone whose story she didn’t mention, it was her own.  

But it was fine. He had several more weeks to go, after all.

The first time she wasn’t in the elevator was a few weeks in.

Honestly, he was fine with it. He barely even knew the woman, he had no right to be disappointed or whatever the hell feeling it was that he was swallowing down from creeping its way up his throat. No, instead he gripped his briefcase harder and thought of what kind of data he would be analysing that day.

When the elevator dinged on his floor, though, he at least quickly figured out where Jyn was. She was already at her desk, ten minutes early and apparently in a heated argument with Draven over what seemed to be a broken email attachment.

“I don’t know what the hell else you want me to do!” she was saying hotly, work phone tucked under one shoulder and also clicking around on her computer, clearly flustered.

“I’ve told you, get it fixed!”

“I’M ON HOLD, do I look like bloody tech staff?!”

“Is that how you talk to all of your direct superiors?”

“I’m the receptionist, not your PA, I don’t work for you,” she snapped. Someone on the phone must have answered her then because she suddenly snapped up straighter and grabbed the phone in her hand. “Yes! Thank god, look none of the attachments are opening in email and–” 

“I have to print 50 copies of this by eight thirty!” Draven yelled in the general direction of the phone.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M TRYING TO DO?”

Cassian honestly didn’t know what to do. Other workers were eyeing the two with interest, but ultimately just walking on past like it was no big deal. Cassian, on the other hand, was loath to even approach should he accidentally get stuck in the crosshairs. No one deserved to be chewed out like Jyn was, at least not this early in the morning, but Draven was also his boss, and he needed this internship to pass. Shit, shit, shit.

In the end, he hid himself behind a group of workers from customer service and walked in alongside them. He managed to avoid Draven’s eye, but accidentally caught Jyn’s just as he clearing them and heading for the main office. She smiled a little and mouthed, “Hey,” before rolling her eyes at Draven.

His heart pounded back.

The day naturally ended up being a bit of a crazy one. It just had to be one of those days when Han Solo would declare, “OFFICE FLOOR IS LAVA!” and Cassian was forced to spend most of his day trying to get places without touching the floor. Usually, it meant climbing over cubicle walls and hastily stepping around his collegues PCs and photo frames. At least Cassian had discovered that he was rather adept at the game, (“Andor’s light on his feet, who knew?” Han pointed out, impressed). However today all he had wanted was to reach Jyn’s desk, and without anything lining the corridor down to the elevators, nothing short of wheeling himself there on his desk chair was going to make it (which he kind of interpreted as a bit pathetic). As a result, he didn’t see her until the end of the day, as they were all leaving the building.

“I’m sorry Draven chewed you out this morning!” Cassian practically yelled after her once he caught the sight of her retreating back out on the street. For a second, he feared that Jyn wouldn’t or didn’t want to talk to him, but she paused when she heard his voice and turned.

“Hey, thanks,” she called back. “Sorry, I can’t stop and talk, the bus leaves at ten past and if I miss it I have to wait another half an hour–”

“I’ll walk with you,” he hurried forward to fall into step with her.

There was something about walking alongside her through the busy financial district in the early evening. They were out of the office, her in her leather jacket over top of her business casual and him simply trying not to trip over that fact.

“Draven’s an arse,” Jyn said, quietly.

He was starting to become familiar with the sentiment. “Is he like that with everyone, or…?”

“Or just with me?” Jyn shoved her hands in her pockets, heels clacking against the concrete beneath their feet. “He’s hated me ever since I started working there. I always assumed it was because I was young, but now I think it’s just because he’s a prick.”

“You’re not that young.”

“Exactly what a girl wants to hear,” she grinned.

“I just mean,” he held back the urge to knock her shoulder with his. That would be far too familiar, considering how long they’d known each other. Yes, definitely. “You can’t be much younger than me and I’m 26.”

She smiled a little. “I’m 24. I’ve been with Alliance since I was 19.”

“As the receptionist?”

“I know,” she rolled her eyes. “five years and I’m still only a receptionist. Will I ever figure out what I want to do with my life?”

“I wasn’t thinking that,” Cassian assured her.

“I know,” she said. “or at least I hoped. Just ignore me, I’m wallowing and feeling sorry for myself.”

They were approaching the bus stop now and the quick pace she’d kept up the entire time was apparently worth it as it seemed that the bus was only just pulling up now. “You’re allowed to – what was it? Wallow?”

“Yeah,” Jyn walked backward so that she could keep him in her sights as she joined the line. “thanks for listening.”

“No problem.”

“Hey,” she added, quickly. “who won the floor is lava today?”

“I did. Apparently, I’m light on my feet.”

Jyn laughed in response, congratulating him just as she climbed onto the bus and disappeared into its depths. He waved once and turned away, a grin on his face.  

“So you’re the new intern?”

Cassian glanced up at the head that was staring over the dividing wall between his cubicle and the next. He had dark scruff, hair pulled back in a ponytail and a smile spreading across his face that was far too bright for someone at work at eight in the morning. “Um, yes,” Cassian replied.

The man leaned even further over the wall, extending his arm down so Cassian could shake his hand. “I’m Bodhi!” he said, happily. “So good to meet you, it’s been boring without a cubicle buddy.”

To be honest, Cassian wasn’t sure how anything in this office could ever be described as ‘boring’. Within his first three days, there had been at least six emergency drills for wild animal attacks (���Back away slowly! NEVER play dead!”) two minor fire incidents in the break room and one rather epic wheelie chair race from one end of the office to the other without touching the floor. He STILL didn’t know what the company actually did, but that was about when Leia Organa had kicked herself off a wall and spun her wheelie chair in front of Han Solo’s by about an inch, declaring herself the winner of the race and all fucking hell had broken loose.

“Boring! Right, wouldn’t want that,” he said, hastily.

“You’ve met Jyn, right?”

“The receptionist?” Cassian really needed to work on his self-control. Get it together, idiot. Don’t sound so excited.

“Yeah! She said that she’s been showing you around and stuff. Me and her and a bunch of others usually go out for drinks after work on a Friday,” Bodhi explained. “It’s just casual, no benders or anything, we do the pub quiz, that kinda thing. Did you want to come this week?”

“Oh,” Cassian suddenly blanked on words. Quite honestly, it sounded great. A chance to get to know his colleagues more, a chance to really get to know Jyn… “I’d love to – but I’ve got a lot of work to do and – I wouldn’t want to impose or anything–”

“No, no!” Bodhi insisted at once, frowning. “I swear, we all want you to come! Gotta get you on our side before Draven turns you into one of his mindless slaves, haha.”

Cassian hesitated. “It’s just drinks?”

“Just drinks.”

“And you’re sure no one minds if I come?”

“Jyn would have asked you herself, except she apparently had some kind of meltdown and made me do it,” Bodhi rolled his eyes. “Please, I’m dying to get to know the man who made Jyn Erso speechless!”

“You’re joking, surely.”

“Well… half joking,” Bodhi snorted. “Please?”

Cassian took a deep breath.

“Ok.”

She looked about as hungover as he still felt in the elevator on Monday.

“I blame you,” he told her at once.

“I did nothing,” she insisted, not even moving from where she was leaned back against the elevator wall, dark sunglasses covering her eyes even inside under the artificial lights.

“You’re a dirty enabler is what you are, getting me to drink two nights in a row so that I’m literally still feeling it on Monday morning.”

“Not my problem that you can’t handle tequila.”

He grinned though, despite himself. His weekend had been a blinding two days thanks to her. What had started as ‘casual drinks’ on a Friday night had of course turned into still hitting the clubs at three am, Jyn’s skirt almost up around her hips as he gave her a piggyback home. They had made quite the scene, Bodhi crying as he carried Leia’s heels in one hand and a bottle of wine in another, Han belting out Queen songs with his tie around his head, Leia barefoot and with her arm around who was apparently her brother Luke, who had turned up somewhere around midnight and worked in graphic design. Cassian couldn’t even remember adding Jyn on Facebook, but the next morning he had woken dumped outside his apartment door and with about five messages from her saying that they should hang out later. She had talked to him Saturday night over the aforementioned tequila, told him stories about office pranks on Draven and Han, told him about how she’d always wished that she’d gone to collage, about the one time a criminal from the Bail Bonds Office on floor 17 had taken someone hostage and the entire building had been forced into lockdown, and he had laughed and taken it all in.

Taken her in.

“Why did you never go to collage?” Cassian remembered asking her. They’d invited everyone else on Saturday, but they’d all had the sense to bail early this time. By eleven, they’d been the last ones left in the bar and she had sighed underneath the lights.

“I guess I didn’t think I could,” she’d answered him.

He glanced at her now, leaning her head back and attempting not to groan against what was no doubt a throbbing pain in her head. He watched the line of her jaw as she stared at the ceiling, the curve of her neck, the dip where her collarbone met her blouse and… oh, shit. 

Yeah, he really was in trouble.

Thing is, it hadn’t been long.

Technically, he knew it was normal. People develop crushes within hours, let alone weeks, but the point he was trying to make in his head here, was that he was only going to be with Alliance for the next month and a half. Couldn’t he have at least, like…TRIED? What had started as a fleeting ‘I wouldn’t say no’ when he’d first met her had at some point turned into a monstrous crush so yeah, he was fucked, for sure. He at least liked to think he could also be subtle about it. He could subdue the smile that came to his face whenever he saw her in the elevator in the mornings, pretend that it wasn’t the highlight of his entire day. He could hold back, remain friendly and professional, asking for work advice and being able to admire the way she would lean over his desk without flipping his shit. Yes, he had this. He could do this.

Apparently, Bodhi didn’t seem to think so.

“Ok, what’s the deal?” he asked.

“What?” Cassian asked dumbly, ignoring how the other man’s head had stuck up over the dividing wall once more, like it usually did at varying times throughout their day.

Bodhi rolled his eyes in exaggerated exasperation. “You and Jyn!” he said. “I thought you totally liked her!”

“I’m trying to work here, can’t this wait until later?”

“I’m sorry, you think office hours are for work?”

Cassian shot his new friend a look, and Bodhi grinned.

“Ok, ok, but seriously. Ever since drinks last week, you’ve been acting weird. Did something happen between you guys?”

“NO,” he said, perhaps too quickly to ever actually be reasonably considered the truth. He caught Bodhi’s look and he groaned, “No, seriously, nothing happened. I just…” He shoved his chair away from his desk and computer, rubbing his forehead warily. “I like her, yeah, but I’m trying to be professional about it, all right?”

“And how’s that working out?”

“Divine,” Cassian grumbled. Luckily, before Bodhi could grill him more, Jyn herself suddenly burst into Bodhi’s cubicle. Cassian tried not to have a heart attack as she practically threw herself up to the wall alongside Bodhi and exclaimed,

“Guys! You have to come witness this!”

Apparently unable to get out of whatever it was that was happening, Cassian and Bodhi followed Jyn all the way down to Shara Bey’s office on the opposite side of the office bullpen. Shara was apparently finding it tough to find things to do in her last week of work, since she totally welcomed them all piling slightly suspiciously into her office. She swung herself around in her chair like Doctor Evil while Jyn happily boosted herself up onto her desk.

“What’s going on?” Bodhi asked in amusement.

“Ok, I’m going spare with nothing to do, so I’ve been fucking with Han all afternoon,” Shara explained. “I got Kes to go and change the settings on his computer while he was at lunch so that every time he gets an email, the notification is a duck quacking. It’s driving him mad and he doesn’t know how to change it back – watch!” She turned and hit send on what must have been a pre-written email. They all listened carefully and sure enough, a faint quacking from out the door and down the other end of the corridor echoed down. As if on cue, someone roared in annoyance and quickly yelled out,

“SHARA BEY, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!”

They all burst out laughing. Cassian tried not to, but it was hard when Jyn looked at him like that (doubled over, face and neck flushing red). She caught his eye and he was unable to help it.

“You – you want to know the best part?” Shara added once they’d all somewhat calmed down.

“What?” Cassian asked.

“Watch what happens when I send out a group email.”

With ‘reply to all’ entered into the recipients box, Shara hit send once more. Almost at once, what sounded like an entire menagerie of animals sounded off. Ducks quacked, cows mooed, and horses neighed as the entire office collectively groaned in exasperation and Jyn nearly fell off the desk in her hysterics at the office turning into a zoo. Cassian hastily moved forward, arms outstretched, to keep her from face-planting. It was only once he was assured she wasn’t going to fall and was moving back when he caught the look on Bodhi’s face from across the office.

“Stop it,” Cassian insisted later that day.

“Stop what?”

“It. That look. Everything.”

“Yeah,” Bodhi grinned. “You’re brilliant at staying professional.”

“So you’re a math major, right?”

Cassian nodded in the affirmative, glancing at her from where he was keeping her company on his lunch break. Jyn wasn’t allowed to have hers today since at approximately 11.59am, someone had fucked up and some kind of Statistical Disaster had apparently happened that, according to the HOD, SHE had to fix since it had already been emailed through. “Goddamn motherfucker…” she had been grumbling when he’d swung by her front desk and he’d tried not to be too pleased when she’d called him an angel upon finding out that he’d brought her lunch to her desk for her. Now, she turned her computer screen to face him and he tried not to have a mini heart attack when she grabbed his hand, pulling him forward and closer towards her.

“I’m going bloody nuts! Look at this, am I even doing this right?”

Cassian squinted at the spreadsheets. He was silent for so long, Jyn started whacking his arm.

“Oh god. Oh fucking lord. I fucked it up even worse didn’t I? Mothma is going to FIRE my arse–”

“Jyn, you literally did this?”

“Yeah – I mean, I tried, but this really isn’t my area and I wasn’t really sure what I was doing with the–”

“You could fucking do my job,” he laughed, turning back to her. He might’ve been slightly in awe.

“Seriously?” Jyn peered back at the computer in amazement. “You mean I did good?”

“Fucking good,” Cassian said. “Do people make you do analysis like this all the time?”

“I usually wing it and hope for the best after a lot of Googling. Honestly, what even is your job?” 

“I’m still asking myself that and I’ve been here weeks now,” She snorted, leaning back in her chair. Cassian copied her stance opposite her against her desk as he added, “Jyn, I wasn’t kidding. You could do this job, if you wanted. Really, why did you never go to collage? You said before you didn’t think you could, but you’ve really proved yourself wrong just now.”

Jyn shrugged a little, but sighed. “Have I ever told you about my dad?”

He blinked a little at how on earth the conversation had suddenly gone in this direction. It suddenly seemed all so personal, too personal for the little length of time that they’d known each other, but somehow at the same time the exact right amount of personal for the way they’d been getting to know each other. He shook his head and Jyn carried on,

“He’s a scientist. Chemistry, specifically and something else even more so, but I never exactly understand what it is. All I know is that he’s world-renown, published what feels like thousands of articles in journals and shit and is probably the smartest man you’ll ever meet. I love him to pieces because at the end of the day he’s just my dad, but… it was a lot to live up to.”

“Wow.”

“Thing is, I was always interested in business,” Jyn shrugged. She gestured back at her computer screen and added, “This kinda thing, it fascinates me, but I guess I never thought it was as good as studying chemistry so I just… never did. Dad’s always supported me no matter what, but…”

“You could do this, Jyn.”

“I think I’m finally starting to realise it, yeah,” she said. She nudged his leg with her own and said, “Thanks, Cassian. I’m glad you chose this insane company as your internship.”

He might have blinked a fraction of a second too long, burning the feeling of her looking at him like that into his brain.

“I am, too.”

Sometimes an unexpected fire drill could be a great thing… and other times, not so great.

“This presentation is going to run late now!” Leia was huffing next to Cassian as they were all forced out of their wonderfully air-conditioned office and out to the evacuation point across the street. “and since the presentation will run late, my meeting with Mothma will run late, which means I will probably miss the ten past bus, which means I WILL MISS PILATES AGAIN, GODDAMN–”

“Oh no,” Jyn’s voice turned up, rolling her eyes as she flung an arm around Leia’s shoulders. “not Pilates!”

“Get off me, it’s like a tropical sauna out here,” Leia said in disgust.

Jyn just laughed. “So what set off the alarm this time? Any bets? Rats chew through the wiring again, or was it yet another Microwave Incident?”

“For some reason,” Leia was glaring in the direction of the building. “I shrewdly suspect Han.”

“You suspect him for everything.”

“And I’m right about 90% of the time,” she pointed out.

Cassian stayed quiet. He’d quickly learned that that was the best approach to surviving whenever Han and Leia came your way. They seemed like such a contradiction, Leia always looking very professional in her blouses and elaborate up-dos, the PR Manager always ready to talk their arses out of anything… and then there was Han Solo, with his tie always shoved rebelliously in his pocket, bedazzled briefcase and known for always accidentally spilling confidential details about clients on prime time news channels. Half the time Cassian couldn’t tell if Han and Leia even liked each other, although Jyn had at least assured him that his guess was as good as the rest of theirs.

“Yeah, for two people who can’t seem to talk without bickering, they sure as hell are terrible at staying away from each other,” she’d once mentioned.

They were forced to stand out on the lawn in the park across the street for a good half an hour while the designated fire wardens cleared the building. The fire department then arrived to inform them all that the cause of the fire had probably been someone attempting to cook instant mac and cheese with the fax machine again. Han looked smug for all of five seconds before Leia was yelling his name, and then he had the decency to look ashamed.

“Look, Princess–” he began hastily.

“You moron!” she thumped him hard on the arm. “I am not forgiving you for this!”

“How do you even know it was me? I deny everything!”

“Because who the hell else would attempt to use the fax machine as a cooking implement?”

“Hey, that thing is so damn ancient I literally risk exploding every time I’m forced to use it! It’s so obsolete, I don’t even know why–”

“So you admit that it was you!”

“I confess to having used said machine before at some point in time,” Han pointed out cheerfully. “Nowhere in that statement, however, did I confess to setting off the fire alarms.”

“You really are a lawyer, aren’t you?” Cassian pointed out.

“I don’t know, sometimes I think he got his degree off the internet,” Leia glared, causing Han to furrow his eyebrows and exclaim,

“Oi!”

“I don’t know why you’re all still arguing, there’s clearly only one solution here,” Jyn pointed out. When both Cassian, Han and Leia all turned to stare at her, she shrugged and said, “Leia’s pissed because she’ll be missing pilates. It’s hot as balls out here. Make him do pilates as punishment.”

“I like this plan,” Leia said with a smirk, turning her folded arms onto Han.

His expression was stricken. “But this is a new suit.”

“On the ground. You’re working your core.”

It was as good as a confession when Han finally conceded and allowed himself to get ordered into doing crunches on the hot grass.

At around 3.30pm, the late-snack munchies apparently ran rampart throughout the office.

You couldn’t so much as rustle a protein bar wrapper without getting at least ten people’s heads popping up from over their cubicle walls like meerkats, all in search of who had the coveted snack. Therefore, whenever Cassian wanted to eat his trail mix in peace, he usually ended up seeking refuge underneath Jyn’s desk. The only downside was that he had to share as payment.

“God, I could live off this stuff,” she said with her mouth full of pecan nuts and M&M’s. “Only an hour and a half to go.”

“Only four weeks to go,” Cassian said. Jyn pulled her chair out from her desk then so that she could glance down at him.

“What? You’re halfway through already?” she asked. “It feels like you’ve been here forever.”

Her tone changed slightly with her words, though Cassian couldn’t figure out how. Jyn had never exactly struck him as a overly cheery person, but she could laugh. She could smile. But now she wasn’t doing either and maybe that was because now that he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen those laughs or smiles directed any anyone other than himself, excepting maybe Bodhi and the occasional prank on Draven. He didn’t know what that meant, or even if it did mean anything (not to mention that he berated himself for even thinking that he might want it to mean something in the first place).

“I know,” he forced himself to say casually. “This place is nuts, but I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

“Sorry?”

He stared at her a moment as Jyn swung back to her desk. She gestured for him to come up and he clambered to his feet to join her. She was pulling up an open tab on her computer screen, which if he wasn’t mistaken at first glance, looked like a job vacancy for somewhere within Alliance Industries. Jyn pointed it out and said,

“The lady on maternity leave who’s desk you’ve been using – she told Mothma that she’s not coming back anymore, so the job’s open,” She nudged him with an elbow and added, “You should apply.”

“No… really?” Cassian peered at the screen closer. “Wait, what does the title say, I need to know what this job fucking is–”

“‘Reporting and Data Analyst’, apparently.”

“Well, that is moderately unhelpful,” Cassian muttered. But on a louder note, he added, “but I can’t apply – I haven’t even finished my studies yet, I have another entire year to go!”

“Oh, who needs a fucking degree?” Jyn waved a hand.

“Seriously–”

“You might think I’m joking, but I’m serious too – look –” She pointed out a headline that said ‘Potential applicants should have the following’. “They don’t even specify a degree, they’re asking for shit like ‘experience with leadership’ and ‘positive attitude’. Plus they know you! You’ll have worked here for two months doing this sort of thing, I’ll bet if you applied, you’d be guaranteed an interview, if not the job entirely.”

Honestly, it was a serious consideration and a tempting one at that. He had heard their CEO Mothma talk on more than one occasion about how she always preferred to hire within the existing company, that it was ideal since the candidate would already have affiliation with them and know how things worked and operated. Not to mention the appeal of staying and working alongside Jyn for however long he wanted, rather than having to face the bright red deadline of a few weeks from now when his internship would be over…

But he glanced up at her hopeful face and realised that there was a much better candidate who should apply, rather than him.

“You should do it.”

“I’m sorry?” Jyn snorted.

“You should apply!” Cassian insisted. “We both know you have the knack for it, you just pointed out that you don’t need a degree, and you already work for the company! It would be better pay, work that you’re more interested in… Jyn, you should honestly do this.”

She shook her head, scoffing. “You’re out of your mind. Gimme more trail mix.”

He handed out the bag exasperatedly and she practically snatched it off him. “You’re being stupid,” he pointed out. 

“And you’re hogging the snacks!”

It seemed that she wouldn’t discuss it any further, since his attempts at pushing the subject fell on distractions and otherwise deaf ears until eventually, Draven tracked him down and forced him back to work. Still, as he was being practically frog-marched away, Cassian glanced back and noticed her sitting and staring at her computer screen hard. Like her mind was blowing through a million thoughts per second.

She could do it. 

He had to make her see that.

[kpoptart216]

The Arrangement (pt 4)

The Monday after the party, Jimin sat at his desk, typing away on his computer. After what seemed like hours, the ringing of his desk phone took his attention off of his computer. He was expecting his assistant to call, but instead he hears the familiar voice of his mother. 

“Sonnnnn” she sang out. “How are you?”.

“Omma!” Jimin said with a smile on his face. No matter what the job, Jimin would always put it on pause if it meant he was talking to his mother. ���I’m good. How are you and Appa?” he asks, relaxing into his chair. 

“We’re good sweetheart. How is Y/n?” she asks. He could practically hear the smile on her face, but upon hearing your name, his own smile faltered. 

“good good” he says, half heartedly. Since the day of the party, he had started seeing you in a somewhat different light. Sure, he still hated being married to you and he was pretty sure he didn’t have any positive feelings about you, but once he realized that you too were most likely suffering and also missed your parents, he took his coldness down a notch. Or so he thought. 

“Well son, I have a favor to ask of you and Y/N” his mom said.

“Anything for you omma, what do you need?” Jimin said, thinking nothing of what was about to be asked. Anything for his mother meant quite literally anything. 

“Well you see, we’re having repairs done at the house and we thought we might as well go ahead and redecorate the house while we were at it. But you see, a lot of dust is flying around the house with all the work going around and pretty soon, we’re having work done in our bedroom and bathroom so it seems like me and your father don’t really have a place to stay for a few weeks. Do you think we can stay at your place till the repairs are done? I promise, you two lovebirds won’t even notice we are there!” She said, excitedly.

Ok…anything but that.

“Uh…but what about your vacation homes?” Jimin tried.

“Oh don’t be silly darling. Those are all either out of the city or out of the country. Your father still has to go to work! We don’t really want to stay at a hotel but if you insist…” She said. She knew her son was going to say yes. But it was fun teasing him anyways. 

“What, no no don’t stay at at hotel. Of course you can stay over at our place mom” Jimin said, suddenly nervous. 

“Oh perfect! This will be fun darling, I promise. Now I can spend some time with both my son and daughter! I can’t wait to tell your father. We’ll be there tomorrow night then, darling!” She said, hanging up the phone immediately. 

“Uh..bye?” Jimin said, still pretty shocked. 

Great. Just Great. Now I have to run this by Y/N and put on an act for a few weeks. I guess mom and dad can sleep in the guest room downstairs next to Y/N’s room…SHIT! Jimin suddenly realized that his parents expected them to be sharing a room, not be living like complete strangers. But that would mean they had to move all of your things from your room to the master bedroom where he slept. 

Great. 

Your day went about as it usually did. You packed your things and headed home after a long work day and as you were driving, you were thinking about what to cook for dinner. Over a period of months, you started to pick up on Jimin’s eating habits and made mental notes to avoid certain foods after noticing him pick out certain foods or not eat a dish altogether. 

You entered the quiet house and went to your room to change. You changed into your favorite silk purple night gown, expecting the house empty. Some of your friends brought you the nightgown as a joke to “seduce Jimin with your incredible bod” but jokes on them, because there was no seducing done. But you loved how the silk felt on your skin and who cares if your husband didn’t admire you in the dress, you admired yourself. “You are one sexy lady” you told yourself as you stared at the mirror. You let out a little giggle and went to the kitchen to make food. You looked at the time and realized it was only 6pm, giving you hours before Jimin would return home. 

You grabbed your phone and connected your bluetooth to the small speakers in the kitchen. You weren’t incredibly fond of cooking, but you rather have a home cooked meal instead of eating out all the time. You were never there to see if and when Jimin at what you made for dinner, but you made some for him anyways without fail. 

You scrolled through all your playlists and decided you were in the mood for dance music. The music filled the room and soon filled the entire house as you began cooking a simple meal. Before you knew it, you were singing along at the top of your lungs and your hips swayed to the music. Sure, you were kind of making a mess in the kitchen, but you always cleaned up after yourself. 

Jimin had made it home directly from work for the first time since the wedding. He didn’t know what time you came home usually, but he always knew you were home before he was. There was always a meal waiting for him. As the months went on, he realized he was less and less picky with his food. He had to admit, your food was quite delicious, but he never made any effort to let you know that. 

He was pacing back and forth in his room, wondering how to break the news to you and put on an act to convince his parents. He wasn’t even sure how long his parents were going to stay. He thought he heard the door open, but he dismissed it. 

But moments later, he heard music coursing through the house and to say he was surprised was an understatement. “Talk Dirty” started echoing through the house and while he was familiar with the song, he was surprised it playing at his own house. Surely it wasn’t you listening to the song, right? Some stranger just walked in and started playing it??

Out of curiosity, Jimin quietly walked out of his room and in the direction of the music. To his huge surprise, he found you in the kitchen. Dancing and singing at the top of your lungs, all the while trying to cut up some vegetables with your back facing him. What surprised him the most was what you were wearing though. 

The purple night dress was moving along with you and the music and revealed…quite a bit. Jimin realized you were beautiful but damn…this was a whole new level. He’s never seen so much of your bare skin, and he felt a little embarrassed standing there. Realizing that he was just staring at this point and it would be 10x more embarrassing if you found him just staring, he decided to make his presence known. He cleared his throat a little, but you still couldn’t hear him over the music. He tried a few more times, but failing a little more. 

Realizing he was never going to get your attention this way, he just walked straight up behind you and tapped on your shoulder.

You literally screamed when you felt the contact. Not once has someone been home at this time other than you and your first instinct was to think that some thief walked in and had the audacity to come tap on your shoulder. So in your defense, you screamed and turned around with the knife held in both your hands.

But to your surprise, you found your husband with his eyes wide in shock and hands up in the air as if to say he surrenders. 

“Woah calm down, it’s just me” he said.

“Oh my god, Jimin what the hell! You scared me!” you said as you turned down the music. You mentally scolded yourself for your choice in music. Of course, today was the day you decided to play this song and dance along. 

“Sorry sorry” Jimin said, placing his arms back down to his sides. He couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

You eyed him funny, signaling him to stop. 

“What are you doing home..?” you asked, slowly. 

“What, I can’t come home?” he asks.

“No, it’s just you’re never here at this time…” you say, not meeting his eyes.

“That’s what you think…for all you know I could have just been in my room” he says, teasing you. He doesn’t know why he did it, but he was glad when he saw the shock hit your face and a deep red blush creep up on your cheeks. It was rather cute, he thought.

“O-Oh..I-I never thought about that” you say, in all honesty.

“I’m just kidding. But I actually had something to run by you” he says, suddenly turning serious again. You were a little sad once his smile faded.

“Yeah?” you asked.

“So, my parents having repairs done at their house and my mom asked if her and my dad could stay over till the repairs are done” he said. 

“Of course!” you say, smiling brightly. You may not love her son, but you certainly loved Jimin’s mom. You treated her like your own mother. And the same went for her father. They were such lovely people. “How long are the repairs going to take?” you asked. You were expecting a day or two but…

“A few weeks” he said, running his hands through his hair nervously.

“A few weeks?!” you say, slightly louder than you wanted. 

“Why? Is that a problem?” he asked

“oh, no. I just wasn’t expecting that.” you said. “Wait so that means….” you started.

“We’re going to have keep up the act of a happy marriage” he finished. You could only nod. 

“That also means…we’re going to have to move your things into my room if we’re going to make this believable” he continued. Your eyes widened in shock. Of course you had to do that, how could you forget?

“Oh…right” you said nervously. 

“It’s fine, I have a couch in my room that I can sleep on. You can take the bed” Jimin offered. He didn’t especially like sleeping on the couch, but with the situation on hand, he didn’t really have much of a choice. 

“Oh..ok. That should be fine I guess. When are they coming?” you asked, already making notes in your head of what to prepare beforehand.

“Tomorrow night” Jimin says. 

“Oh, that doesn’t give us much time at all!” you say. 

“Yeah, so I was planning on taking the day off from work tomorrow move some of your things from your room to mine. If you can tell me what to move beforehand, I can have that ready by the time you’re home and then you can just move all the smaller things?” he offered again. You were slightly shocked by his kind offer, but you realized he was only doing this because his parents were staying. 

“Don’t be silly. I’ll take the day off too and we can do that together. I have some things I’d like to prepare for their stay as well” you say. 

“oh..ok then” Jimin said, not really knowing what else to say. 

“Well…I guess that’s it then? I still have quite a bit left to cook for dinner. I’ll let you know when it’s done?” you asked with sudden confidence. 

“Oh sure. That’s fine” Jimin says as he begins to walk away. You turn back around to finish cutting your vegetables when you hear “Hey Y/n?” you turn to face Jimin once again, “Thank you” he says. 

You give him a small smile and nod and turn back to your veggies. You realized that this was the longest conversation you have ever had with your husband. And why were you so excited about it?

You didn’t have much time to think about it though because you had lots to prepare for the upcoming weeks. If only you knew how much your life was going to change. 

A/n: Awh I actually liked this part. Hope y’all liked it. Let me know what you think? want a part 5? 

Previous parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[doortjeanais]

Sing more covers he said. So I did.

"Oh look, Jeongguk posted a new cover. He's really good, huh?" Bogum told Tae as they deplaned from Jeju. Taehyung looked at him, confused, as Jeongguk has not mentioned anything about a cover before he left. "What cover?" Bogum showed him a video posted in the BTS YouTube Channel, the usual black screen with just Jeongguk's vocals. A melodic ballad tune played and after a few bars, that signature voice came in. Why can't you hold me in the street Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor I wish that we could be like that 'cause I' m yours Taehyung scrolled the video to look at the title just to be sure but the first lines are a dead giveaway anyway. Damn. Secret Love Song by the Little Mix was a song they both chanced upon by accident. They heard a Korean cover of the song uploaded a few months back and Taehyung swore it was stuck in his head for quite a while. The song is bittersweet and catchy but most of all, it's a sort of anthem for Taehyung and Jeongguk's current life. A secret love affair of stolen kisses, hidden intertwined hands, smitten glances, all mostly done in borrowed time. Fans are quick to realize, fast on the uptake in every fancam video of them whispering, holding hands, getting lost in the small intimate world that they created that the management reminded them to be careful. They even resorted to directing them to stay away in videos, sit far apart in fan signs so as not taint their good bulletproof boys images. As if loving someone regardless of gender is a sin or smear that should be wiped away clean. "Oh Kookie..." Taehyung remembered that Jeongguk asked him if he can come home with him to Busan for a few days during their break. "Sorry Kookie, I promised Bogum I'll meet him when I get back to give him the items he asked me to buy. I need to come home to Daegu soon after to visit Grandma and the kids are waiting for me. How about after the last leg of the tour, yes? We'll have another break then. " Jeongguk cannot win at poker with his lack of facial filter to hide his emotions. His face is too expressive. He tried to hold back this time, but his jaw clenching and his usual tongue-in-cheek quirk is showing. "It's okay Tae, I'm pretty sure you're fed up with my face by now. Have fun in Jeju." His phone started ringing and he nodded to excuse himself out curtly. It's probably Yugyeom calling him out again to play. "Gummy, I think I need to go." Bogum nodded and clapped Taehyung in the back. He knows Taehyung's relationship with Jeongguk and the song clearly says it all. "I know. Let's meet again sometime, ok? Have fun in the next leg!" Taehyung walked fast and half ran as he saw Sejin-hyung waiting for him in the arrivals area. "Hyung, is Jeongguk still at the dorm?" He asked as Sejin took his bag. They were walking towards the exit when sasaeng fans started screaming for Taehyung. So they ran, fast, towards the van. "Kookie was with Yoongi in his studio this morning. I know he asked for the 2nd to the last train sched to Busan for today. Brave kid, taking the train. I hope there are no sasaengs there." "Sejin-hyung! Let's go to the studio! Hurry!" Nodding, Sejin instructed the driver to go to the HQ and all Taehyung can think about is how much he hurt Jeongguk unintentionally. --- "Kid's not here anymore Taehyung. He left for Busan an hour ago." As expected, Yoongi is the only one left in the studio and no trace Jeongguk anywhere. "I messed up hyung! I really hurt Kookie right?" Yoongi's head bounced up and down like he's playing a tune in his head. "Yep kid, big time. Jeon was crying when we finished and of course I kicked him." Taehyung eyes grew wide in disbelief. "Kidding, i told him to suck it up and go home. Thing is, Taehyung, he's enamored with you and I cannot blame you for being the social butterfly that you are but you do tend to leave him out. I know it's a secret love affair and the world need not know what the truth is but be mindful of his feelings too. No one wants to be in a secret alone." Taehyung buried his face into his hands. Ah Taehyung how can you be so insensitive, he said to himself. Jeongukk deserves an apology and no phone call can cut it. "Hyung can you..?" Before he can even finish, Yoongi slid a piece of paper to him without even peeling his eyes off the screen of his computer. Taehyung smiled and prepared to haul himself to Yoongi when the older male shot him an icy death stare, daring him to continue his plan of glomping him. "Bring me Daegu food when you come back. I'm not going home. Now shoo, go away. Leave me be." "Thank you Hyung! I love youuu!" "Urgh, c'mon, save that for Jeongguk. It's just a train ticket, no need to profess your love me. Urgh, the shivers." Taehyung bowed at Yoongi and charged for the exit. "Go get him tiger!" --- It's around 2am when Jeongguk arrived in his neighborhood in Busan. It's late but somehow going straight to the park nearby his house sounded better to him that going home. He perched himself on a patch of grass, placed his bags and guitar beside him. Going home to Busan reminds Jeongguk that he's just a kid with humble beginnings, with a simple house and cute dogs. Busan is childhood, his adolescent dream while Seoul is work, adulthood, music, fans and of course... Seoul is connected to Taehyung. Sigh. Jeongguk shook his head at the idea of him crying in front of Yoongi after finishing the cover a while ago. He was just so jealous of Bogum and frustrated with Taehyung and their relationship. Why can the two of them go out while Jeongguk waits at home? How can they look so fucking perfect together that the management allows them to post it in Twitter while he can't even post selcas with Taehyung without causing an uproar? Why can't they express love same way other people in love do? Sighing again, he took out his guitar and looked around if here are anyone around. When the coast was clear, he strummed the chords of the song away. We keep behind closed doors Every time I see you, I die a little more Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls It'll never be enough He laughed at how this song fits him so much right now, it literally hurts. He was taken a back though when he heard a familiar baritone singing the next few bars. Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours Taehyung sat beside him on the grass, their knees touching. They both look the same, hoodie, cap, black mask but underneathe faint night light, Jeongguk can see Taehyung's eyes. Pleading. Apologetic. Sincere. "I'm so sorry Kookie... I shouldn't have chosen Bogum over you. I'm really sorry." Jeongukk placed his guitar down and looked at Tae directly. He cannot get angry with those eyes on that face. He just can't. Just like LANY said in ILYSB, I'm hella obsessed with your face and yeah, Taehyung's face gives him that feeling. Somehow, the all that jealousy and frustration dissipated when Taehyung started peeling the mask off Jeongguk's face. He cupped his hand on his cheek and Jeongguk sighed into it. Taehyung is Taehyung. Nothing else feels right when Taehyung is right there, smiling at him. Everthing else, poof! Gone. Out of the window. "Kiss me then, if you're so sorry." Jeongguk haughtily said as he pulled the strings of Taehyung's mask off his eyes, revealing his boxy grin. Oh lord, he is such a delight. Why was he angry again? Taehyung kissed him slowly at first then fervently soon after. Kissing him felt the same as snuggling against him every night, holding his palm against his with their fingers intertwined. Busan is Jeongguk's childhood, Seoul is his work. Taehyung is home. "We'll work this out, babe. We'll get through this one day. Let's keep this secret safe for now, okay? Don't let go Kookie, I never will." With their foreheads touching, Jeongguk smiled and kissed Taehyung lightly once more. "You have all my cards, Tae. I'm not going anywhere." Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftop I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours They both know it will take a long time for them to be able to tell the whole world of their secret. They also know that some secrets are better kept unsaid. But they've built their own little world around each other, no secrets, no lies. That, for now, should be enough. ---- Timecheck: 3:15am PST. Fuck i have a 9am meeting. Idgaf I've been hurting for Taekook for the past few days, fite me. I need to let this shit out. Not beta read, done in 2 hours. Oh sleep cmon. Let's go!