#literature fandoms are my absolute favorite spaces on the internet

[emrys-rusts]

I keep seeing medival arthurian literature pop up on my dash, and I did a little digging because I'm a huge literature, arts and language nerd

I dont know you, and you dont know me, but I really love you guys, wherever you may be

Good for you good for you

I admire the dedication

[gingerteaonthetardis]

great, now i'm wide awake and thinking about that person on twitter who accused fanfiction writers of 'erasing' real queer literature by, like, writing stucky fic. along with some other deeply brainrotted takes and a huge misunderstanding of the prosocial and community-driven aspect of making fanworks. (for fun! without monetizing it! which is, in itself, a pretty revolutionary concept, but i'm not gonna go off about that!)

it's like—i know the people talking about this just want attention, and i shouldn't give it to them or let them hold any space whatsoever in my brain, but. it's 3am and it's my tumblr blog, so.

shaming people who read about their favorite superheroes kissing like they somehow have any sway over the homophobic publishing industry, or as if they are fundamentally incapable of reading, like, stone butch blues and 'honoring their ancestors' (literally gag me!), just because they write or consume, say, supernatural fic? that's... baffling. those two things are completely unrelated. fanfic writers do not wield the institutional power to 'erase' anything. we're just a bunch of fans on the internet. people choosing to consume a form of media you don't like or respect does not constitute erasure.

and then to cite cc and el james as your only writers who have made the transition from fic to published works? that feels like a deliberate erasure (lmao, like. actual erasure.) of the good writers out there who also wrote/read fanworks. n.k. jemisin comes to mind—an award-winning author and one of my absolute all-time favorites. neil gaiman is a self-proclaimed fic writer. andy weir! and what about filmmakers like chloe zhao? acting like we're all a bunch of diana gabaldons waiting to happen is just an intentional effort to scrape the bottom of the barrel to make a weak point.

i understand that there are valid criticisms to be leveled at fanworks—that sometimes, people file the serial numbers off their stuff and publish it or learn bad habits or what have you. and i agree with those points, even! in fact, i have my own much stronger opinions about the fetishization of gay men in fandom, or the overwhelming whiteness of many fan spaces! believe it or not, you can offer criticism without making bad points!!

but i think there's also something deeply cynical about assuming that all fanfiction writers aspire to become published authors, or are somehow responsible for the bland, derivative mediascape we find ourselves in today. like, no, bestie. that's on capitalism. sometimes people do just write for fun.

blaming a group of people who have virtually no power over the publishing industry for the failings of said industry is simply a shit argument. and acting like all fanfiction/work by authors who have written fanfiction is uniformly un-creative is hilariously narrow-minded. go read the broken earth trilogy and calm down.

[censorship-isnt-woke]

honestly this is more of an intracommunity vent than anything else but I don’t have anywhere to put it so here goes

there’s got to be a way to talk about race that doesn’t end in endless white guilt and dull repetitive self-flagellation that I then have to deal with as an indigenous person

I’m sick and tired of seeing performative “I know X is racist and I feel bad for liking it and here’s a comprehensive list of all the ways it’s flawed, don’t hate me, I know it’s bad!” posts. my fellow BIPOC know this already and if we’ve chosen to love a problematic thing then we’ve done that with our eyes wide open, and white people aren’t actually learning anything except how to act Woke - at what point does post #673 about how racist A Song of Ice and Fire is do anything? same with “the fandom doesn’t talk about this but [list of bigotry problems]!!!” - I guarantee you that most serious fans (and academics, if this is Literature and there’s scholarship around it) are already aware and just choosing not to discuss it in a fannish capacity. I’d prefer to deal with The Gods of Mars’s racist coding at a conference or in academic correspondence rather than on Tumblr, not least because I like that book in spite of its really terrible villain and I don’t owe white people an explanation or absolution, and I ought to be able to talk about the existence of racism in the text without needing to say five thousand times that it’s wrong just to satisfy the hungry silent watchers.

That’s not to say there shouldn’t be discussion of problematic tropes and bigoted narrative and racist caricature and all that good stuff in fandom spaces - there absolutely should be, but it ought to be paired with... I don’t know, some kind of education or “what now” or resources for further study? The goblins of Harry Potter won’t get less antisemitic if all we do is tell people they’re bad, and the lesson that could be learned (here are antisemitic tropes, here’s the history behind where they came from, here’s a list of articles and books for further reading, here are Jewish perspectives on this exact issue) is lost because all that we teach people to do is feel guilty and throw out the whole property. And then they come to anybody they remotely trust who isn’t white demanding to know if they’re allowed to like a thing, and the whole space gets changed to cater to their guilt and their need to perform wokeness and their need to be acceptable to some invisible internet authority. I shouldn’t have to deal with white guilt like that - if I choose to, sure, but it shouldn’t be required of me to constantly be aware of racism and IRL events and How Bad Something Is. it’s exhausting.

I guess I have a lot of feelings about this as a scholar and as a fan because I don’t want fandom to turn into someplace where you aren’t allowed to genuinely like things that have flaws unless you constantly perform awareness of how bad it is, not least because I don’t owe white people (or even my fellow fans of color) that kind of self-excoriation. I know nothing is perfect, I’m here to have fun. I’m well aware of the flaws in my favorite things but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them, and I’m not quite sure what simply trumpeting “I KNOW WHAT’S BAD ABOUT THIS” over and over is supposed to do to improve a space as a whole. Are we meant to hope that this actually changes fanworks? Is the goal to stamp out a fascist presence? Is the goal to educate white fans about how to do better? Is the goal to appease a few big-name fans of color who demand everyone subscribe to their interpretations of the canon and are using anti-style tactics to achieve that goal? What’s the point?

I’m reminded of a post talking about how Judy Garland did blackface over the course of her career that only served to point out that this happened. There wasn’t any greater awareness of the history of blackface in pop culture, or Garland’s famously abusive studio experience, or her personal politics, or the other movie stars that did blackface and considered it acceptable (Holiday Inn is famously edited for TV screenings to cut out its blackface number). It simply served to point a finger and say “This is Bad, Bear Witness.”

Is that really all we can do anymore?

(discussion is welcome, but honestly I’m not looking for Hate. like I said. intracommunity conversation.)

[kitty-bandit]

So, I’m writing a book and my main character and her girlfriend have an age gap of four years and they started dating when my main character was seventeen. I’m worried that no one will want to publish it because of this or that I’ll be judged for writing something like this

Anon… I’m here to tell you that 100% without a doubt you are FINE. A four year age gap? That is literally NOTHING. You have nothing to worry about. 

I’m actually a bit horrified that you have such a skewed view of what is and isn’t acceptable in literature. I can only blame antis and this new round of purity culture online (twitter and tumblr specifically). 

Let me put it this way. If Lolita is still on the shelves of every fucking library and bookstore in the world, you can write your book where a 17 yo and a 21 yo date. Seriously. I challenge you to read something that isn’t Young Adult Lit or fanfiction–hell, even watch a movie? I could name hundreds of romances where there’s an age gap of 5+ years and it ain’t a problem. 

Even my absolute favorite book series, The Nightrunner Series by Lynn Flewelling, has the main characters with a ridiculously large age gap. (I think Alec started at 16 or 17 in the books? To Seregil’s 50-something? But again, he doesn’t look 50, or even act 50? due to Aurenfaie aging differently than humans. But again, NOT THE POINT.)

THIS is one of the MANY reasons why I’m against purity culture, purity policing, and antis. Their harmful rhetoric is stifling creativity, causing artists and writers to literally LEAVE online spaces due to harassment and bullshit like what you’re afraid of. They parrot radfems and SWERFs and conservative beliefs, putting a gay hat on it and try to force people to do what THEY want. 

Well, I’ll tell you a little secret, Anon. Fuck them.

Their bullshit, while harmful, is not rooted in the real world. I challenge you to ask people OUTSIDE of the internet (and, please, choose someone who isn’t already embroiled in fandom discourse) about your idea for a book. I’m talking parents, teachers, librarians. Tell them your plot, your characters, the age gap, and ask them if they like it or if they see anything wrong with it? I can guarantee not one damn person will see a problem with the age gap. Not one. 

I’m BEGGING you, Anon. Don’t let antis ruin your creativity. Don’t let them stifle you. Don’t let them dictate what you can and can’t create. They don’t know shit. 

[shark-myths]

occasionally people i follow will reblogged anti-rpf posts and it always make me feel deeply uncomfortable about my own place in fandom and with my engagement with rpf because I write it and I'm aware of the fictitious nature of what I'm writing but anti rpf discourse re: privacy, the idea that it is simply fetishisation, robs men of the idea that they can be "just" friends with other men. idk i just want to write and be happy.

my advice is to write and be happy!!!

imagining the interiority of celebrities is not a pasttime that’s exclusive to fandom—look at entertainment media as a whole! not to mention the entire genre of historical fiction/drama and projects like Hamilton or The Crown or a hundred other based-on-real-events stories. look at every book, show, and museum about world war ii and the lives of its soldiers! we aren’t the only ones doing this, is my point, but by and large we are the only ones being treated like shit about it—and that is absolutely gendered. your work is being regarded through a lens that infantilizes and discredits the passions and labor of women, and makes the assumption that because you engage in this hobby, you’re a ripe target for misogynistic strategies of shame and control.

RPF is not just a creative & emotional challenge. the “relationships” we form with our imagined versions of these people actually fall into the category of parasocial relationships. that’s the idea of forming connections that are emotionally important, meaningful, and let us explore something important for ourselves & our sense of social relationships, through the format of how we relate to fictional or *fictionalized* versions of people. rich parasocial relationships are linked to intelligence, emotional depth, and empathy—as long as we know we aren’t forming bonds to real versions of these people. we may be internet flotsam & fringe, but we aren’t delusional. we don’t deserve to be treated like we are.

when I write RPF, i am writing about a pete wentz I have made into fiction. I know he’s not real and that if I met the real pete wentz, I wouldn’t know him. that doesn’t matter to me. I explore so many important-to-me issues and complexities by imagining the interior of this man and his interpersonal dynamics with imagined others. doing that while creating emotional continuity and playing within the “rules” of real-life events is a combination of research and creativity that challenges me uniquely as a writer—plus, it forms a shared universe for me and my friends. and we enjoy ourselves there! because I don’t do anything to infringe on his actual privacy and I don’t try to interact with him about my fic, I consider this to be a harmless pastime.

now this thing about how rpf shipping somehow destabilizes public perception of friendships between men… like… what?? that is such a blatant and misogynistic attempt to limit and control what women enjoy! we are not personally responsible for The Culture™️’s view of masculine intimacy, and what we scream into our personal void on ao3 doesn’t impact it *at all.* who reads our stories but people who are deliberately seeking them out and engaging with them? whoever is putting that pressure on you is, in my opinion, full of shit. the VAST majority of ‘great’ and classic western literature and film is obsessively focused on the inter- and intrapersonal relationships of men with men, and the VAST majority of those so-called classics that dominate intellectual and cultural spaces could not pass a single feminist critique like the Bechdel or Mako Mori test. all of which is to say: I assure you, there are ample fucking representations of friendships between men in our culture. we do not need to curb our private recreational activities in order to protect the perception of these poor, helpless fragile creatures. we do not need to edit ourselves for the protection of men who are entirely too famous to ever even know we exist.

all of this is to say: to the anti-RPFers of the world, please employ the time-honored tradition of “don’t like, don’t read.” whatever your hobbies and favorites are, I wish you joy of them. fuck off and extend the same benefit to others!

and to my RPF crew and my fellow tinhats: write and be happy. block people who treat you like shit and fill your blog with things that make you lighter til you shine like the fucking sun. life is too short to fill our hearts with bitterness, and maybe one day the people who seek to make us unhappy will realize it too. I am sorry people have been unkind to you, and I hope you do not allow them to spoil any of your joy.

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sammy Interview

Before we get started, do you mind introducing yourself and telling a bit about yourself? 

My name is Sammy. I’m 34 years old, a college graduate with a background in cultural anthropology as well as women, gender, and sexuality studies. I’m particularly interested in queer and feminist methodologies. I live with my partner of some 15 years, who is also a fanfiction writer.

Q1: So, you told me that you’ve been writing fan fiction for 20+ years which is awesome! How did it all get started and what kind of fan fiction have you written in that time?

A1:  Like a lot of fangirls of my generation, anime was my introduction to fanfiction.  I grew up watching Sailor Moon when it first aired on American network television. It was love at first sight. There was nothing else like it on TV. At my local Blockbuster I discovered anime. It wasn’t as readily available then as it is now. Because the english dubs were so limited I ended up watching the same OVA rentals over and over - Ranma ½, RG Veda, Vampire Princess Miyu. First I wrote stories in my head, then I started writing them down. When I recieved my own computer and constant access to the internet, I went searching for fansites. Secreted behind unassuming links I found small clutches of fanfiction. This was before fanfiction.net first took off, and An Archive of Our Own was well over a decade away. Fansites had webrings, which took me to the next fansite, and so on.  It really was a matter of finding the right webring for a given show and following the thread.

I began with writing Sailor Moon fanfiction, and as Cartoon Network’s late night block of programming (Toonami) expanded, the more I wrote. Gundam Wing fandom introduced me to shipping and it blew my mind.

I moved away from anime when the Harry Potter movies happened. A lot of us made the transition to book and movie based fandoms when someone discovered Harry/Draco. After that I found DC comics, and then became very active in the Star Trek reboot fandom. I’ve written for Stargate: Atlantis, BBC Sherlock and Hannibal and so, so many other shows/books/video games. I’ve been an active participant in Yuletide, which is an anonymous holiday fanfic exchange, and multiple Big Bangs -another fanfic/fanart exchange- as well as a kinkmeme prompt filler for years.

Q2: What pushed you to begin sharing your fan fiction?

A2: The mailing lists. In the early days of fandom private yahoo groups and message boards were the main venue for posting and reading fanfiction. Most mailing lists were fandom based and created for specific content - like Gundam Wing Slash, GundamWingGEN and CRACKSHIP. These became high volume, tight knit communities. It wasn’t unusual to have your mail box refreshing on the left side of the monitor, while you chatted with members on AIM on the right side. There was a lot of encouragement, experimentation, and collaboration. You posted your fanfiction to the list, or board, and people cheered. It was all so exciting.  It’s hard to describe now how close we all were, and just how much fellow-feeling fueled hundreds of emails a day. This was my online family, my community. I didn’t need a push or moment of courage to post my early fanfiction - I was delighted to share, invited to share. It was an electrifying thing to be part of.

Q3: Were you scared to post it online?

A3: Not at all. I didn’t need to be scared - none of us did. No one outside these early lists and boards knew what we were doing. I really can’t emphasize enough how guarded the early fanfiction community was. We were incredibly insulated. Our families didn’t know, our teachers and co-workers were oblivious, popular culture wasn’t shitting on fanfiction writers because it didn’t know we were writing. I wasn’t scared to press ‘send’, but it did feel dangerous, a little rebellious. There was a sense of getting away with something.

Q4: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? Something else?

A4: On a basic level, fanfiction taught me how to write. Structure, pace, dialogue - I was taught those things in a classroom, but I learned them by writing fanfiction. We all taught ourselves to write by writing for each other. We created an entire literary movement without an MA in literature, or a structured pedagogy. Fanfiction writers generated new narrative traditions, like the Five Things + 1 format (a breakaway from the three-act story), Hurt/Comfort, and a language of tagging that defies classical genre rules - all because we were messing around.

Writing fanfiction has taught me the value of questioning western literary rules and conventions, that writing for myself and my own pleasure is valid.  It’s also taught me that I don’t like to write alone. One of the things that makes fanfiction so special for me is that so much of it happens in conversation with other writers and readers. My best writing experiences have been in simpatico with total strangers, on AIM, in livejournal comment threads, gchat.  I’m not writing “original fiction” because I lack imagination; it’s just too lonely.

Q5: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A5: I do, though I feel like this is a bit of a fraught subject for fanfiction writers.  There’s an compulsion to say yes, of course I plan to publish one day, as if that end goal legitimates the fanfiction I write. I don’t want to contribute to the idea of fanfiction as a lesser form of literature- a stepping stone to Real Writing - but yes. I started writing creative nonfiction in community college.  That writing comes from a very different place than fanfiction. It satisfies another hunger.

Q6: How you feel about the stigma surrounding fan fiction and fan fiction writers? Or, do you not feel any stigma at all?

A6: I think the stigma towards fanfiction is pushback from multiple sociological and institutional sources.

In the beginning we had the sense that fanfiction - slash fanfiction - wasn’t something to bring up outside of those digital spaces we made for ourselves. We knew it would be considered an auteur kink at best, or downright perverted plagiarism at worst (I think this is largely still the case). Before the community found the language to discuss slash and fanfiction as transformative works - as deconstructions of conventional media, gender roles, and sexuality - there was an ethos of compartmentalization to the whole thing.

Q7: Do you think that stigma is warranted? (Whether or not you have personally experience it?)

A7: No.

I touched on this earlier, but I believe the stigma and hostility towards fanfiction is firmly rooted in gender and non-normative sexuality. The writing we do is generally characterized as a feminine endeavour, which immediately marks it as inferior to a literary canon that values the masculine so highly. The perception that fanfiction is a plagiarism of male authored source material makes it all the more egregious.

Equally as foundational, is the reduction of fanfiction to gay porn written by straight cis women for straight cis women - fanfiction is not only shit writing, it’s perverted and weird.

I’ve never been ashamed of the fanfiction I write, or read. Embarrassed maybe, of those first earnest attempts at writing. But fanfiction does not have a monopoly on bad writing. I can just as easily find the same trash in Barnes & Noble. So, quality is not and never has been a valid criticism.

Q8: What’s your favorite piece of fan fiction you’ve ever written? Why?

A8: A gen fic I wrote for Star Trek (AOS). I’m a leisurely writer, and stories don’t just hit me whole and complete in one go. But this one did. It took three hours to write and I didn’t have to think about where I was going after finishing a paragraph, the next was already there, I just had to type it out. It’s never come that easy before or since. It’s not my most popular piece of fanfiction, but I can go back and read it and not feel like I need to change anything.

Q10: Do you write outside of fan fiction?

A10: I do - until recently I was writing up lesson plans for classes I was co-facilitating. Generally, when I’m not writing fanfiction I’m working on creative non-fiction. I use the frame of gender analysis and sexuality studies (among others) to write about my life.

Q11: What site do you prefer to write and post your fan fiction on?

A11: An Archive of Our Own (AO3). The tagging system is superior and the site is far more user friendly than ff.net, which is an absolute dumpster fire.  

Q12: What’s something you want people outside the fan fiction community to know about the fan fiction community?

We’re not a monolith. Teenage girls are the cultural face of fanfiction, but so many of us are in our 30s and 40s, old fandom queens from those first private mailing lists, boards, and LiveJournal accounts. We have soul sucking jobs. We have degrees in STEM. We teach college, have kids and debt, and friendships that have lasted decades.. We are not, and never have been a homogenous group of straight cis women. Asexuality and gender fluidity abounds. Plenty of us experience disability and chronic illness.  And we aren’t a small group of weirdos obsessed with Johnlock. We’re an enormous and diverse group of weirdos who have created a literary movement.

[cellochicita]

SO MANY QUESTIONS POSTS

OK SO I GOT TAGGED BY @bananabrianna77 @thiswebsitegavemethisusername @mtt-studios @zephyrus-gryphon @scolipendra91 AND @esmiden

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO GO THROUGH

putting it below bc it longgg

1. What’s your favorite inside joke?

This is fine

2. What’s the strangest/stupidest/most interesting way you’ve ever injured yourself?

Naruto running across the street, I tweaked my shoulder something awful

3. What’s your favorite color, and what do you find so appealing about that color?

Lilac purple *star eyes* I’ve always loved purple, it’s very feminine without being in your face, and mysterious, and lilac has the warm red undertones to it that make it feel like a hug. Plus I love the smell of the flower too

4. If you had a million dollars (or whatever currency you weird non-American peeps use) what WOULDN’T you spend it on?

Umm. I wouldn’t spend it on gambling

5. What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Whoo boy depends what I can grab as I run out the door. Toast, banana, etc.

6. Hey you now possess the ability to give people superpowers. I, your indecisive trash bag pal, just requested you give me a “random superpower”. What kinda power will you give me?

Hmm, I give you the power of flight bc flying rocks

7. If the roles were reversed, what kind of superpower would you request?

I wanna talk to animals dangit

8. What time is it for you right now?

11 am :)

9. What was the worst homework assignment you ever had to complete?

Oh gosh um, 20 page paper written in one day? That sucked major butt

10. What’s your worst pet peeve?

When people cannot stop to question their own actions.

11. Not a question, but write a short (3-5 line) poem/rap about the closest thing to your left.

Left of me there is

A wall covered in carpet

Why is that a thing

1) COKE OR PEPSI???

COKE YOU HEATHEN

2) Favourite food?

Hnngg all of them? Rice bowls.

3) If you had to choose one song to listen to over and over for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Oh geez. Um. I could listen to orchestral covers of Asgore’s theme for  hours

4) Favourite singer/band?

Owl City, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, Taylor Swift

5) Favourite subject to study in school?

History or music

6) Your favourite thing about the internet?

Heck I love the freedom it gave to me to create music and voicework. I’ve had good experiences networking too :)

7) Have you remembered to do what you need to today?

Ummm I suppose I just did. But I still don’t wanna do it, sooooo

8) What time do you usually wake up if you get to choose?

If I choose? 8 am. Out of bed by 9 (I have to catch up on notifs)

9) Favourite YouTuber?

The entire Internet Remix crew

10) Can you list 5 tumblr blogs you think I should follow right now?

@fishmum, @rileygoldsmith, @kanaking, @asgoriel-stuff, @stariousfalls

11) Who is the most underrated celebrity, in your opinion?

ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAID ME SHUT THE HECK YOUR MOUTHS

Piano Guys probably, they are great dudes

12) Favourite snack?

Cheese sticks

13) Can you describe your ideal day?

The day I can finally get caught up on all of my recording, then I go and hang out with family and friends

14) Your best tumblr friend?

Riley is bae @rileygoldsmith

15) Can you say the first thing that comes to your head NOW?

Can’t wait until my bf gets home so I can smooch his face

16) Favourite music genre?

Oof. I have eclectic tastes. Alternative I suppose? Not sure. If it sounds good, I like

17) Favourite video game? (If you don’t play, favourite Let’s Play series?)

Probably Undertale duh

18) The worst time someone has betrayed you?

Ex best friend, junior year of HS. But haha jokes on her, I’m dating her ex

19) Could you describe yourself in five words?

Keep enduring to the end

20) Favourite type of weather?

Fall weatherrrrrr

21) Could you describe your favourite place, without using the name?

Absolute peace

22) Favourite inspirational quote?

“Even when you think it's time to give up, don't. Take care of you and find yourself again if you need to” - Moony

1. What makes you feel at home?

My mom usually XD

2.  Favorite soup?

Turkey and wild rice soup P:

3. Sunny or rainy?

Rainy dayssss ftw

4. Other than your family, who is one person who has shaped you?

My best friend

5. What patterns do you like on clothing that you don’t wear yourself (floral, striped, etc.)?

I wish I could pull off stripes mixed with florals

6. Quick, first word/phrase you think of!

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts

7. One trait you envy about others?

The ability to not overthink things

8. What was the first online fandom you joined?

Online fandoms? Hmm, probably doctor who

9. Favorite song from the 20th century?

“The way you look tonight” Frank Sinatra

10. Which class did/do you do best in at school?

The easy ones. I got good grades in history tho

11. Would you smooch a ghost?

HECK YAS

1. Waffles, Pancakes, or french toast?

Waffles but on other days pancakes

2. Do you think spiders can be adorable?

So long as they’re not up in my space

3. Best gaming experience you have had?

Solstice ending of Oneshot. It was really the first time I played a game blind, and the ending is masterful

4. Happy song that makes you sad?

You are my sunshine BC OF THOSE DANG UNDERTALE COMICS DANGIT

5. Favorite adult cartoon?

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (I KNOW IT’S ANIME SHUSH)

2. Most adrenaline pumping thing you have done?

Bungee jumping was intense

7. Do you believe there is darkness within anyone, can anyone once good be evil?

I do believe, but I also believe the opposite. We all have dark and light in us, it all depends on what we choose

8. Favorite anime OST song, not counting openings or endings?

I dunno haha I do love the whole soundtrack to FMA Brotherhood? Not familiar with all the OST

9. Hade you dramatically lied to someone?

I have before

10. Did you notice I repeated 2 twice the first time you read this?

I JUST DID ACTUALLY I WAS GONNA FIX IT BC I THOUGHT MY COMPUTER MESSED UP XD

11. How was your day?

So far, pretty decent : )

1. How are you doing?

Pretty good thanks!

2. What leaves the worst taste in your mouth?

Figuratively or literally? Literally Orange juice after toothpaste. Figuratively, when I have to let stupid people alone to their ways

3. What is the strangest thing you’ve Googled?

Ghandi Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

4. What’s the funniest thing you’ve witnessed in public?

Me doing a perfect double take at a guy pretending to be a mannequin in a store window

5. You are given the ability to solve one unsolved mystery. Which one do you choose?

Amelia Earhart. Where she at man

6. If you could write a letter to your past self, what would you tell them?

Dude, you won’t be lonely forever. It gets so much better

7. Which video game have you played through the most?

Undertale

8. If you could instantly learn a skill, which one would you choose?

DRAWING DANGIT I WANNA BE GOOD

9. What is a song you can never get tired of?

State of Grace, Taylor Swift

10. What is your favorite combination of food?

Breakfast for dinner!

11. What is the pettiest thing you’ve ever done?

Ghosted my friend bc she wouldn’t talk to me

1. Favorite literature or movie genre

Quirky fantasy

2. Top five animated cartoons

Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls, Avatar the Last Airbender, Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall

3. If you could choose a fantasy land to stay in for the rest of your life, which one would you chose? Ps. You won’t be able to get back to the real world.

Hogwarts. Gimme. Now.

4. Favorite song at the moment?

Gorgeous, Taylor Swift

5. What is good design for you?

Something simple and clean, but warm and inviting

6. What’s your favorite color scheme/combination?

Lilac, lavender, mint and silver

7. Which feelings effects you the most in litterature/music/film etc.?

I am such a sucker for sister to sister relationships, make me teary every time

8. Favorite game?

Undertale (same as above)

9. What’s most important for you in a good movie?

I need to have fun! And I need it to not drag on

10. What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

Sunset

11. Extra because I’m out of ideas, if you got a painting. What would you want on it? XD

Cats!

AND I’M NOT GONNA TAG ANYONE ELSE BC I AM SO TIRED 

[feathersandblue]

hansbekhart

reblogged your post and added:

I’d rather discuss what you think of my argument.

Then I hope you don’t mind me putting this in an extra post, as the original thread is getting quite long. 

I’m copying/posting your last reply here:

I don’t think it’s a contradiction though. I think it’s a miscommunication, stemming mostly from privilege. The disconnect in this argument is over what, exactly, is problematic.

Fandom has always imagined itself as a place of progressive values - a place where (predominately) women can explore their own sexuality and recreate community in a way that isn’t hostile to them, as a lot of the real world is. But this world we’ve created still has all of the prejudices that each member was brought up with - there’s no way that it couldn’t, firstly because many of our prejudices are invisible to us, and secondly because a lot of fandom works were created specifically to remix that already-existing culture: fan fiction is a mirror that we bend to find stories that include ourselves.

I think that the expression “fandom has always imagined itself” is a bit of a generalisation that does not hold up to close scrutiny: fandom is extremely diverse, and I don’t necessarily think that everyone who participates in it - or even the majority of people who participate in it - frame their contribution in these terms, or see it in that light. 

So while such a narrative exists, especially when it comes to the defense and representation of fandom in media, I wouldn’t agree that this idea of “progressiveness” is at the center of fandom for a majority of fans - at least not for those who never engage on a meta level. People often politicize fandom, but I’d argue that fandom, as such, is personal rather than political.

I absolutely agree wtih you that fandom content reflects our perception of the world, and all of our biases. But for me, that’s pretty much a given, and I’d like to add that the same applies to every kind of art and literature: whether we try to avoid it or not, everthing that we create is a reflection of our environment (geographical, historical, political), our personality, our prejudices and biases, our personal issues. 

And since it’s squeezed through what could arguably be called a feminist lens (because it positions female sexuality and self-exploration at its center), we fool ourselves into thinking that all the bad stuff - the parts of the world we were so alienated by that we were compelled to fix them - all that ugliness, we think it all gets left on the other side of the glass.

I don’t think that is the case, actually. At least I can’t confirm that from my own perspective and experiences. Very few people that I’ve spoken to - very few people who I argue with - would claim that fanworks are necessarily “better” or “less problematic” than the sources they derive from. Such a statment, I think, would be difficult to uphold when one takes a closer look at the average fanwork, the 90% between “My Immortal” and your Personal Favorite. 

I think that there might be a bit of confusion - or disagreement - about the nature and purpose of fanworks. In my understanding, fanworks are a form of wish-fulfillment and self-empowerment for those who create it. Fanworks can be progressive, sure, and they can be political, but I see that as side effect rather than a primary purpose. First and foremost, fanworks are hedonistic. They are the self-expression of individuals, the purely self-indulgent outlet for personal creativity. 

Of course, I have no idea what goes on in the mind of any given fan creator or writer. But speaking from my own perspective, when I write fanfiction, I write things for my own, personal enjoyment, for my own, personal amusement, or, if I wanted to be flippant: Because I can. Nothing inherently progressive about that. 

I’m saying “we” not just as a fan, but as a demographically representative one. Fandom is majority straight, white, and female - I’m two of those things, and can pass for the third. The reason I called this the White Feminism of discourse is because that’s where I think it comes from: a centering of a certain sort of narrative and victimhood to the exclusion of all others. Not necessarily out of maliciousness, but because a large proportion of fans don’t see the persistently racist problems in fandom - because it doesn’t affect them. Because they’ve never experienced racism personally, and are blind to the way they (we) perpetuate the microaggressions or outright racism that literally every fan of color has experienced in fandom. It’s a language we can’t hear unless we really, really listen.

Fandom is mostly white and female, though not necessarily straight, but that’s another matter. 

I think we need to make a distinction here, and that’s between fandom as a space for individuals, and the idea of fandom as it is currently presented in media by pro-fandom voices, which indeed often paints fandom as a beacon of progressiveness and female empowerment. 

When it comes to the individual fan and their contribution to fandom ... I hate to say it, but there is no reason why any given fan should priotitize anything but their own, selfish enjoyment. I’m not in fandom to contribute to the joy and happiness of other people. I’m here for my own. 

Creating art of fiction is always a selfish act. No writer writes something they don’t want to write (unless they’re paid for it, or course), no artist paints something that they don’t want to paint. That’s how we create: it’s our personal, self-indulgent vision that we turn into something that other people might enjoy. Or not enjoy, whatever the case may be. 

The argument that I often hear is “if your personal enjoyment comes at the price of other people’s hurt feelings, it’s oppressive and immoral”, but that only applies when I actually force people to consume the product of my imagination. But as long as they have the freedom of choice, why should their feelings take precedence over mine? 

Especially, and I feel that this is an important point that doesn’t get stressed often enough, when I don’t even know who these people are? We’re on the internet. I have no idea whether the person I’m dealing with is actually who they claim to be. I have no idea what their life looks like. I have no idea whether they were actually “triggered” by something (I’m using quotation marks because the way the word is used here on tumblr, it can mean anything, from mild annoyance to great anxiety) or are just striving strive for power and control. 

I can totally get where the people who write this sort of positivity posts about fandom are coming from, and I can get why it seems like these are attacks out of left field. But when you (and not meaning you specifically, OP - all of us) claim essentially that all media/fandom is good, and all ways of consuming media/fan fiction are good, that ignores the way that media/fandom continues to be a really hostile and ugly place for a lot of people. You may mean, “There is no bad way to explore your sexuality,” but it can sound like you really mean “Even if it includes explicit, unqualified racism.”

But who says that media/fandom has to be “good”? Who made that rule when I wasn’t looking? When I “joined” fandom, I never agreed to limit my own, personal enjoyment to what minorities find acceptable. And while I get that some people think they’re entitled to that - that it should be my goal as a “decent person” to make them feel included, safe, welcome, and cared for - that’s not what I’m here for. 

You may find this a controversial statement, but actually, it shouldn’t be controversial at all. I get that some people would like me to sign a metaphorical contract, with the fine print written in their favor, but the truth is that such a contract does not exist within fandom.

No other person has the actual authority to tell me that my own enjoyment should not be my sole and ultimate goal. People might think they have the moral authority to tell me that, but there is no reason why I should have to accept that.

Why should I let other people dictate what my contribution to fandom should look like? Or, what’s more to the point, why should I let a bunch of strangers with funny urls do that, who willingly choose to engage with the content that I post on my blog or to my AO3 account? 

ESPECIALLY because, when confronted with that exact challenge, a lot of people double down on that and admit that yeah, the racism doesn’t really bother them. Which is what’s happening here.

It’s not a contradiction, but an unwillingness to confront an ugly truth about fandom because it doesn’t personally affect you. Fandom has a huge problem with racism, and pointing that out is not an act of The Morality Police.

Well, I’m one of these people. Though I think it’s fair to say that while racism does, in fact, bother me, my understanding of racism does not conform with the US American definition, and I’m not inclined to re-frame my worldview according to US American sociological theories just because fan culture happens to be dominated by US Americans. 

It’s not only racism, though, is it? It’s  “abuse” and “homophobia” and “transphobia” and “ableism” and “misogyny” and so on, and I can tell you that most of what I’ve written and published would raise the hackles of one minority or another, if they came looking. 

Or rather, raise the hackles of some individuals, which is another issue: very rarely, in my experience, has there been an agreement within a minority group on whether something was actually “harmful” or “offensive”. So, when I’m faced with a couple of people who come to my inbox, often in a very hostile manner, to tell me that something is offensive to people of color, or Jewish people, or trans people, or disabled people, and so on, they might be making a lot of noise, but I have no real means to say whether they are actually representative of the minority they claim to speak for.

In reality, it might look a little like this: My piece of dark fic, which was clearly labeled as such, got twohundred hits. Ten people left kudos, one left a positive but trivial comment, and now suddenly three people, one after the other, leave their comments in quick succession, neiher politely worded nor inviting a discussion, informing me that this piece of fiction is problematic and needs to disappear. Because they say so. 

That’s the point where I have to ask myself: if I give in to that kind of intimidation and pressure, am I doing it because these people are in the right, or because I’m afraid? Am I willing to follow their moral code, which apparently includes dogpiling, intimidation, and name-calling, or do I trust my own? 

Meanwhile, the people in my comment section are in all likelihood not willing to take my opinion into account. Any attempt on my side to justify myself just leads to statements like “check your privilege”, “you’re a nazi apologist”, “white (cis, straight, abled) people don’t get a say in this”. Disagreement is not an option. They’ve decided that my content problematic, that I am problematic, and that’s that.

I’ve seen this play out in a variety of instances, and quite honestly, I think it’s very important that people don’t give in to that kind of bullying. 

Finally, let me just add, for good measure: I think you’re right in one point, and that is that we might want to stop pretending that fandom is all about progressiveness, when progressiveness is mostly accidental, and yes, we can absolutely point out that fandom content reflects the preferences of those who contribute to it. If that’s mostly white women, the content will reflect that, as we’ve basically agreed above. 

On the other hand, if everyone keeps making the kind of content that they want to see, instead of bemoaning that others don’t make it for them, fandom will continue to change.

Just don’t expect fans to go to great length to make fandom a better place for others if that’s not what they signed up for. 

[aparoxysm]

3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20

✿  Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

My parents know, because for as long as I’ve been on the internet, they’ve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like he’s proud of me or something, and that’s enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesn’t care about it / ask questions and I don’t really like to tell him about it either. I’m not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like it’s just something for me that other people wouldn’t really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasn’t heard about before like a real life friend, so he’s like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country

That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when she’s not working, and he’s like “I don’t get how you can do that” and im like “Well I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, I’d get too bored.” and hes like “I just don’t get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, that’s still doing something. I just feel like that’s actually a hobby.” and I kind of didn’t hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time i’ve assumed he didn’t get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.

✿  Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?

Always. But I never will, I don’t think.

✿  How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?

I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behave… I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something i’ll regret. I’ve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. It’s nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know there’s a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.

✿  How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?

When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldn’t do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i haven’t really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, I’ve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and it’s only in the recent times that I’ve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like I’m wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if I’m here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and it’s also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.

✿  Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. What’s wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw? 

Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. It’s why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.

✿  What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?

Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like I’m not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I don’t feel like I have to explain them all the time? It’s like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what they’re feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if I’m doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but it’s just so important for me to have someone who is like “yes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you want” or “i dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?” I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like i’m just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, that’s not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, that’s not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.

✿  What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.

so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~

✿  What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?

(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause — because of the main character, as per mentioned. She’s inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, don’t-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))

The Truth About Forever  by Sarah Dessen — it’s hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but they’ve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. it’s always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, it’s a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone else… i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ♥

✿  Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) — i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but i’ve basically already mentioned why.

Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) — back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now i’ve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.

Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) — this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read.