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m1d-45 · 2 years

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death, rebirth, new life

summary: uh zhongli gets nerfed, you get some new friends, xiao has a crisis of morality(?)

word count: ~3.2k

-> warnings: major spoilers for xiao lore, like very major. spoilers for liyue archon quest. not much else

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @thehoneymushroomhealer || @imyme20 || @bittersweetorpheus || @vampirecatsw || @willburzone || @some-mildly-happy-human|| @yourlocaldrugdealerbutfancy || @inmyprinceerafr || @depressed-bitchy-demon || @kithewanderingme

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zhongli allows his weapon to fade back into golden dust, his mind involuntarily comparing it to the way you dissolved before him.

they were quite similar. after he’d pulled away his polearm, you had sent him a final smile as your body disintegrated into white flakes, much like his spear had, the water rushing back to fill the space you’d left. it had surprised him, because he’d expected you to fall into the black smoke that hilichurls did. unless he had made some sort of…

no, he tells himself, shaking his head. you deserved it. to wear a face that wasn’t yours, to defy his god so, his actions were entirely jus-

a spike of pain drives into his lower back and zhongli reaches behind him with a hiss, feeling for whatever’s hurt him only to land on the glass of his fake vision. it stings through his gloves, and he’s quick to yank it off, uncaring as the string it’s hung on snaps. the small gems on it scatter, but he’s focused on the glass in his hand.

or, rather, the floor. his hand still hurts from the pricks of invisible needles it stabbed into his skin, and he wasn’t keen on holding it any longer.

“what’s wrong?” hu tao comes up to his side, hand landing on his shoulder. “are you okay? is your vision?”

“it’s nothing.”

discretely, he tries to turn a pebble on the floor in front of him. he tells himself it’s nothing, he knows it’ll work, he just needs the confirmation for himself, since if a fake vision could react like that..

“hey, don’t worry about it. the dead need to stay that way. whoever that was, i trust your judgement. i’m certain you did the-“

she cuts herself off with a pained cry, her shoulders jerk back as her hands reach for her back, her face twisting in pain. zhongli takes a step over his ‘vision’, turning her by the shoulder to see what he knows but doesn’t want to believe.

her vision is glowing brightly, the diamond-shaped gem heating up the metal around it. he wastes no time in removing it from the clip holding it in place, though he has to drop it as well from the heat. it burned her jacket, and she’ll certainly need a new one, but that’s not what he’s worried for.

after all, the stone hadn’t moved.

the sun stung your eyes through your lids, forcing you awake if only to move to a more shaded area. the ground beneath you was hard but not harsh, warmer than wuwang hill by a long shot. you were tempted to stay, to allow yourself to slip back into sleep…

something squishy bumped into your right arm.

you pushed your eyes open, pulling at the numb strings of muscles in your arms to help yourself up. you were sitting in a stone… building would be too generous. there were four pillars and a roof, with a ramp to your left and a staircase in front of you.

and immediately to your right, the object that bumped you earlier, is a small dendro slime.

wide orange eyes peer up at you, the sight cute enough for you to forget your aches.

“hey,” you mumble, reaching a wobbly hand to nudge against its side. the slime chitters, hopping into your lap, and you notice something shining in the leaves atop its head. it doesn’t seem bothered, only pressing itself further into your hand with a chirp that nearly sounds apologetic.

“don’t be sorry.” you move your hand to pet over the stems on top of it, the slime’s eyes slowly beginning to close. you feel something hard beneath your palm, and move to see what it is. in the center of the slime’s head is a small tangle of grass, something golden shimmering in the center. you’ve never looked really hard at the models in-game, mostly because they’re always attacking you, so you’re not sure if this is meant to be there or not. maybe they’re like crystalflies, with a core in the middle? but why be exposed…

the slime chirps in your lap and you move your hand away, a ‘sorry’ on the edge of your lips when it stretches to move the tangle between your fingers. did it want you to fix it?

you tilt the slime towards you, but you don’t have a chance to try. as you watch, the tangle undoes itself, cradling a golden ring between the stalks. it looks about your size, with a small blue gem embedded on one side. the slime makes a soft noise, the ring sliding forward as it tilts.

“for me?”

you picked up the ring at its affirmative trill, sliding it onto your finger. it fit as good as it looked, surprisingly. where had the slime gotten a ring your size, let alone know it would fit you?

the slime looked up, seeking a response, and you smiled.

“thank you, little guy. it’s beautiful.” the slime visibly grew happy, hopping lightly in your lap, and you couldn’t help but laugh. it looked so excited, orange eyes beaming as it twirled itself into a little circle. how could they be enemies?

“where’d you get this?”

your question didn’t dampen its excitement—a surprise, since you expected it to have stolen the ring—and it only hopped off your lap, moving halfway down the staircase before looking back at you.

using the pillars to support yourself, you stood, wincing at the combined pain of old wounds and sleeping on rock. as you carefully move down the steps, you hope that the slime wont lead you to some poor merchant’s cart.

the small slime hopped along a dirt path, and you took the time to look around. behind you to the left was a large pit, for lack of a better word, a tree growing in the center on a platform surrounded by water. if you had to guess, you were probably still in liyue, just more south. the horizon was dotted with spires, and you think you see something like the jade chamber off to the left of your current path. it’s hard to tell, given the distance, but…

the sounds of humanoid chanting reaches your ears, and you startle for a moment before hearing the trademark woo! of an abyss mage. the slime stops, checking on you, but you just give it another smile as you continue to walk. so it got it from hilichurls, then? odd, but better than stealing it from somebody. it was in remarkable condition for being from hilichurls, though…

the slime leads you onto some rocks, and you can see the camp just below you. an abyss mage turns as you approach, the red film of a shield beginning to appear around it before it recognizes you. it was a small camp, only a handful of hilichurls around, and they all crowd you as you climb down the rocks.

the abyss mage chitters in a language you don’t understand, its red ears flopping as it gestures. it finishes with a deep bow, looking up at you, and your face twists in apology. luckily, it seems to get it, pointing to you before waving you into the camp. you take its hand and let it lead you to a crate to sit on, watching as it turns to the rest of the group and says… something. nonetheless, the hilichurls seem to get it, all nodding. the abyss mage puts its hands on its hips, satisfied.

the dendro samachurl says something to the large mitachurl, who nods, hefting its rock shield and standing near the entrance of the camp. the samachurl then pulls over another hilichurl as it walks to you. its staff is more at eye level with you than it is.

the samachurl chitters beneath the mask, and the hilichurl besides it—you assume, based on prior experiences—translates.

“unu boya ika zido mosi aba nunu,” it says, pointing further down the path, where you can barely see a wooden structure.

now, your hilichurl isn’t the best. in the beginning, you learned somewhat, but definitely not enough to know the entirety of what it just said. you catch the word for enemy and some sort of time word you think means later in the day, so that together with the gesture.. you’re hopefully assuming that it means later in the day there will be enemies, likely the millelith, over that direction.

you nod. the hilichurl seems proud of itself.

the samachurl continues, much shorter this time, and the hilichurl holds out a hand.

“muhu mita?”

ah. those ones you know just fine.

you accept the offer of a meal and let it walk you to a rock near a campfire, listening as they talk to each other. they bring you food and share more amongst themselves, the electro shooter waving its bandaged hands in a story you didn’t try to decipher. the heat of noon begins to fade after an hour or two, and though the campfire is now embers and your wooden plate is empty, you’re content.

the dendro slime from earlier sticks close to you, shifting as close to the dying fire as it dared whilst being out of range of the jumping sparks. it wasn’t particularly cold, only around 3ish by your best judgement. the sun still shone in the sky, washing over sand and stone and the things that sparkled under it. there was nothing to worry over, nobody near, and the mitachurl and pyro grenadier were still guarding the entrance. it was a welcome respite.

you hope it’ll last.

xiao pulled his polearm from the body of a hilichurl, picking a tuft of matted red hair from the jade edge. the shattered remains of its mask fell to the floor as its body dissolved, but he just stepped over it, dismissing his weapon. the boy from qingce was uninjured, the hilichurl grenadier had fallen, and his work here was done.

“-jianguo, what are you doing out here? you should know better than to wander near wuwang hill!”

xiao rolled his eyes, hoping the fading debt of the hilichurls would dissipate faster. he couldn’t leave without endangering the child or his mother, but he wanted to leave earlier sometimes, if only so people would learn not to wander into areas they didn’t belong.

“but mama, all the hilichurls fled to wuwang hill! our charms worked!” the small boy triumphantly held up a small piece of paper, sloppily colored gold with some sort of crayon. shaky black penmanship made a crude imitation of a sigil of permission, a hilichurl’s mask in the center. or, at least, he assumed that’s what it was. children…

“no, jianguo, hilichurls don’t listen to your sigils! just… just stay away from wuwang hill, okay? say your thanks to the nice man who saved you and let’s go home.”

the boy turned, wide eyes fixed on him, and xiao checked that he had absorbed enough of the karma for it to be safe before teleporting away.

he landed on unfamiliar dirt, haunting trees surrounding him. judging by the blue wisps floating around, he could guess he was in the forests atop wuwang hill.

his question was why.

normally, he teleports away to the next source of concentrated karma to ensure it doesn’t end up infecting the people of liyue. but this… he knew wuwang hill had hilichurls and cicin mages, but certainly not a high enough concentration, right?

‘…all the hilichurls fled to wuwang hill!’

unless something called them here.

with one hand on his mask, xiao drew his spear and started to walk.

the forest was oddly quiet. the leaves themselves seemed to stay still, the only noise being made by his shoes upon the path. there were no cicins, nor their mages, nor hilichurls of any kind. yet what was left of his tattered soul was called up the path, some remnant of an instinct telling him to let go of his polearm.

he gripped it tighter in response.

the stone steps ahead seemed to taunt him, seeming to stretch further and further away as he walked. whatever intuition tugged at him felt like it was tied around his soul, tying up the scattered pieces to drag around. it.. was less irritating than it should be, something that frightened him more.

every step he took highlighted the rips across his heart, the scars of karma accentuated. but it wasn’t the surveying gaze of a predator looking for weak points, the invisible eyes prying into his soul neither threatening or aggressive. it felt like he was being assessed by a doctor, like he was young and still being fostered by morax, like he’d gotten into a scuffle with bosacious and he was being scolded even as his arm was being bandaged, the warm mug of tea in his hand soothing the ache in his knuckles-

water on his cheek drew his attention, and he was quick to wipe it off his face, glancing at the sky. he didn’t remember any stormclouds coming in, and the skies seemed..

clear…

…

xiao set his jaw and kept walking, determined to keep his mind on his task.

the stone was cold beneath his feet, the seelie court glowing as the seelie inside buzzed. xiao turned the corner, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest. it had to be nothing. it had to be just some random memory that he was reminded of because of the trees, or the air, or… anything.

xiao walked up the second set of stairs, stopping at the top in shock. the pathway across the pool in front of the domain was covered in wildlife, everything that was missing from the forest condensed into one space on the path. birds, butterflies, even a crane and an electro cicin, all gathered around a small space.

he slowly took a step forward, confused by the display. to see so many animals getting along, crowding such an area as wuwang hill..

xiao continued to walk, his foot splashing into the water above the path harsher than he intended. he froze, making sure he didn’t disturb anything, but the gathering remained. he quickly made his way over the tree in the middle of the path, ensuring he landed quieter this time. as he closer, the details of what he was looking at slowly filled in. between the legs of cranes and over the heads of crows, he could see that a portion of the stone was a different color than the rest. the water above it also refused to move, the ripples from the various animals not moving it an inch.

the birds finally moved when he got close enough, flapping over to the opposite side of the discolored stone. xiao crouched at the edge of the still water, mindful not to get himself wet.

the stone, and water to some extent, thin as it was, was stained a yellowish color. the path looked newer, less worn, the water above it clearer.

his frown deepened the longer he looked at it. he’d never seen anything like this, any substance that froze water while it was still liquid and cleaned it of any dirt whilst never dispersing. he never saw so much wildlife, for lack of better words, getting along like this. the cicin confused him further- it also linked back to what he’d heard, that hilichurls had been called back to wuwang, but he’d yet to see one.

the slashes across his heart pulsed as it beat, reminding him of their presence as he tried to focus. the string tied in his chest pulled him forward, to reach and sink into the shallow pool of gold. he shouldn’t, it was dangerous, he didn’t know what it was or what effect it had on him—he should leave now, in rationality, because he was already being affected. if whatever this was was strong enough to affect him, a yaksha, then surely it was a danger to the villagers nearby..

then why didn’t he feel like it was a danger? why, though his heart burned with the remains of his karmic debt, eternities of slaughter, did he feel lighter?

questions remained unanswered as the pull strengthened, the animals around him growing bold, risking being near him for the chance to crowd the shimmering water. he checked that there wasn’t anything or anybody lying in wait—the chance of this being a trap was too high to ignore—before hesitantly dismissing his polearm, making way for a large raven to land beside him.

xiao stared at the bird, watching as it kept its body entirely out of the odd zone while still sticking close. did it not feel the same pull as he did? was this water meant for creatures such as him, with lifetimes worth of sin on their shoulders? was this where the hilichurls vanished into?

his heart beat against his ribs, the cuts of karma pulsing with it. this water, this stone, he had to be affecting it somehow. though he made sure that his shoes were outside the boundary and that his hands didn’t touch inside it, it was hard to deny the way whatever was dissolved in the water was attracted to his end. it had formed a gradient, the sheen across it darker on his end. he felt a need to reach out, to hold his dirtied past to this cleansing water and be clean of it. no matter how impossible. no matter how irrational. no matter how hard he tried to tell himself it was outlandish and would only get him into trouble, no matter how strong his will or how many rips crossed his heart.

…when xiao gave in and touched the golden stain, one of the tears healed.

the water’s shine faded in an instant, quickly turning back to clear as the stone beneath it aged before his eyes; animals around him rustled and cried, feathers ruffling as they came to their senses and took flight, leaving him with his hands over his sternum and a bright light beneath his skin.

feeling like one of the birds himself, xiao sat in a daze, his mind racing as he tried to rationalize what just occurred.

what was that? what had happened? why did he feel so light? why was his mind covered in warmth and memories of his time with the yakshas, with morax, with the traveller, why was he so- so free? what happened to the chains of karma crossing his limbs, binding him to his nightmares? what happened to the voices repeating his sins as the worst song ever played, where did the pain and the aches and his debt go? how could this water heal what the adepti could not? what morax could not?

clutching the healed seam of his soul, alatus fled.

1K notes · View notes

anonbinaryweirdo · 1 year

Text

"try not to cry when im gone" hu tao x reader

(angst, hurt/comfort? she still dies tho lol), reader having bad thoughts, sloppy transition, hu tao comforts reader, reader cries, one or two mentions of zhongli

gn reader, unspecified pronouns or descriptions for reader. writer cried

imagine an immortal reader, who knows of their fate with Hu Tao, but has yet to accept it with a full mind

or at all, really.

you sit there, teacup heavy in your hand as you stare at the fire ahead. once again were you reminded of your immortality, but your mind could only immediately drift off to your lover, who was the opposite.

a human. a mortal.

she was bound to die, and you would have to live on, without her, one day. it was inevitable. you wouldn't even know when you'd see her new face again, decades—maybe even centuries later. you probably wouldn't even get the chance to meet her in her new life.

you sigh, just thinking about it. setting down your cup and running a hand down your face, you hold your breath. maybe this was a dream. you'd wake up one day, with identical grey hairs, wrinkles all over. maybe you could be buried next to one another.

alas, you were so lost in thought, you didn't even notice the extra presence in the room, until you felt a pair of hands covering your eyes, the metal of the rings she adorned just barely grazing your skin—yet, you could still feel how cool it was.

"guess who~!" came a giggle from behind. you could never get enough of hearing it, a smile making its way onto your face almost immediately as it rang through your ears.

you couldn't help laughing a little, rolling your eyes behind her palms. "welcome home, Hu Tao," you greet, as normal. it was genuine, the way you felt around her. especially whenever you got to welcome her back under the roof you shared. a place you both cared for, and could call your home. although, you were quite certain that home was only really found whenever you were with Hu Tao. without her to live there with you, it'd merely be a house. not a home.

Hu Tao skips over in front of where you sat, a small grin on her face. you could tell she was a bit tired, though. yet, her lips were still quirked up, despite the fact. you loved it. "were ya missing me already, butterfly?" she asked, looking over you. "because, i must say, you looked mighty bored and lonely before I snuck up on you."

and, as though it were an automated response, you respond quickly, "I'm always bored and lonely whenever you're gone." and it was true, as 'sappy' as it sounded. you needed someone like Hu Tao in your everyday life to lift you up, even when you weren't particularly feeling 'blue'.

"well," the director hummed, helping herself to straddling over your lap, wrapping her arms around you as she rested her chin on your shoulder. your hand moves to take off her hat, setting it aside before moving your fingers through her hair. she closed her eyes, melting—ironically enough—into your touches. "I can't blame you," she continued, chuckling a little, "I mean, without me, you'd be miserable. oh, what would you do without me?" you knew it was a joke, but still.

it was true.

your hand paused in her hair, and your expression slowly fell to what it was before she walked through that door. can you imagine, having to life without her? having to live, what you could only hope wasn't for the rest of your life—from the time your eyes flutter open at the crack of dawn, and when they close into peace once more when moonlight illuminates the land—without her?

you couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like, if you hadn't seen her smile everyday. true, yes, her smile wouldn't be there every second of the day... no, she had her days when she felt so little about herself, and that smile turned upside down into something else. there were even times her eyeliner would smudge down her face in streaks. but, she still managed to smile. seeing her face was enough.

unfortunately, for you, the girl happened to take notice of your silence, and looked back at you with big red eyes, mixing with both curiosity and concern—even as she tried to play it off. "hey, now, " she laughed lightly. "why the long face? you look like a little puppy, hehe. am I boring you, or something? I don't think I've ever seen you so—"

her voice died down as she saw the way your eyebrows scrunched up, her eyes looking over your face. she saw how sad your eyes look—and how they weren't as bright as she loved them. the way you stared down at your lap, biting the inside your lip. you were deep in your thoughts, and they didn't seem to be happy ones. she didn't like that.

"...hey," she spoke quietly. she cupped your face, making you look at her. and, instantly, you were lost in those eyes.

who wouldn't get lost in them, honestly? they were so pretty, so very magnificent in so many ways you couldn't even begin to explain. and those stars...those stars were the cherry on top. they shined so bright, brighter than any real star could ever. but...eventually, even stars come to their ends, right?

"butterfly...whats the matter? why do you seem so blue?"

she was so sweet. you couldn't help it,arms caging around her in a desperate hug. you were certain, that, letting go would result in her not being there anymore. like she'd turn into particles, and fly out the window. you didn't want that. you couldn't have it.

"[name], what—" "im not ready for you to die."

the words flew past your lips before you could stop them. you squeezed your eyes shut as you nuzzled your nose further into her hair. you inhale deeply, the breath coming out in a shaky sigh. as much as you felt like wanting to, you couldn't cry. especially not here, in front of her, right now. you wouldn't dare let her see you so weak. so—

"is that what this was about?" Hu Tao inquired suddenly, making you hold your breath. your answer—the silence and a tremble of your shoulder—was enough said.

her arms wrapped around you, and it was enough for you to breathe. "don't cry," she hushes you, tenderly rubbing her palm up and down your back. "I don't want you to be sad when I'm dead. in fact, I want you to be happy."

your eyebrows furrow, and you lift your head, looking up at her. "what?" you question, not believing what she just said. "how can you...how can you even say that with a straight face? if I lose you, t-then—"

"then you'll be okay," she cuts you off, kissing your forehead. she leaned back. and smiled. "you'll be fine when I'm gone, because I know you'll be at peace with knowing that I'm resting well, knowing that it was I that you created memories with, and not anyone else in either of our places."

you sat there, listening to her voice. it always was so lovely, wasn't it?

"I'm going to be watching over you as a ghost," she promised, "and once you feel that familiar air, you'll know it's me."

"you should also be at peace, knowing that I'm resting well...because of you. you were the reason for my true happiness, and for that, I..." Hu Tao huffed, taking your hands in hers. "I should be the one crying over my death. I mean, I won't even get to interact with you—I'll be transparent! which is absolutely awful, I mean, can you imagine me going a day without your arms around moi? really."

she smiled as you managed a little laugh at her attempt to brighten the mood. "there it is!" she cheered, softly. "see? that's exactly how I want your face to look, during my final breath, and every moment after, okay?"

you sniffled, leaning into her palm as she strokes your cheek with her thumb, wiping away your tears. "no promises," you whisper, turning your head to kiss her palm. she groans, "well, at least try. what type of person would you be to not at least make an effort to live up to something?"

you shake your head, rolling your eyes. your hands find their way to her waist, and you lean up, capturing her lips. she returned your kiss, not backing away until you do. and that's not until you hear a small pattern of quiet thuds on the window, catching both of your attention.

"hm," she hummed, "it's raining pretty hard." Hu Tao chuckled, holding you close, "I'm glad I got home in time, or else I'd be drenched."

"yeah.." you agree.

you sigh, staring at the ground. "I'm the one getting drenched," you mutter under your breath. you could vividly recall that conversation. it was one of the good ones.

you feel a hand on your shoulder, but you don't turn to look. "I'm sorry," says the consultant of the wangsheng funeral parlor, sympathizing with you.

you don't answer immediately, but he can make out a quiet 'thank you' as he leaves to give you your space, allowing you to stare at the stone in peace.

you look up, closing your eyes as the rain falls down on your face. "I wonder if you can see me yet," you whisper.

a smile graces your lips, feeling a gust of wind push past you.

you chuckle dryly, tears getting mixed in with the rain. another gust of wind.

"..i tried, didn't I?"

and then another.