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nebulousfishgills · 1 year

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Fanfic Asks, friend!

A [HTM], F, H, K, M, S, V, W

Yayyyyy more asks!!

A - How did you come up with the title for His Tenebris Moenibus?

Honestly, titling fics can either be the bane of my existence or the greatest thing I ever do. HTM was the former. This was about a year ago now so I don't entirely remember all the minutiae, all I know was that I wanted something in Latin to make it sound fancy. Then I just went through the process of putting together thematically appropriate combinations of words and phrases until Google Translate spit out something cool sounding:

Within These Dark Walls... in reference to the Creel House, is I think what One Year Ago Fishgills was thinking. Cause, as we know, a lot of shit happens in that house, and usually it's dark inside. Within the dark walls of the Creel House, These Dark Walls.

I wish I could say it was as clever as Diplopia, but no, this was very much Spaghetti Against The Wall To See What Would Stick.

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why it's your favorite

I have no self control, you're getting several cause I can't pick a favorite.

I have two from His Tenebris Moenibus:

"If this is supposed to be hell... why is it so beautiful?" Emily asked quietly. "Normally I wouldn't think a place so desolate and destructive would be, but..."

"A world untouched by mankind." Henry said, somewhat answering her question. "A land with no structure, nothing chaining anything down. It's beautiful because it's free."

This is when Emily and Henry are banished to the Upside Down and they're exploring this new hellscape they're stuck in. Honestly, I just really, really love Emily asking why a supposed hell is beautiful to her. I think it's a similar effect to when people go to desolate places to appreciate the beauty that humanity hasn't touched/changed or simply can't, like the tops of mountains or sunsets.

Really, I think it just shows what this goal of theirs really means to them. To us, we see it as wiping out humanity and its structures in a bid for control out of a probably over-exaggerated distaste for human systems the rest of us understand a certain need for. To them, though, they see human systems as shackles or "straitjackets" that cascaded into the sources of their suffering.

It was social stigmas about young births out of wedlock that got Emily sent away to Valentina's and (as far as we can suspect) Virginia's need for the picture perfect nuclear family that Henry simply couldn't fit into that led to his troubles. They want to erase humanity to erase human suffering, suffering they went through. It's a horrible way of going about it, but when you scrape away the grime and blood it's somewhat of a sweet sentiment. And, to them, the blank slate the Upside-Down seems to show is opportunity, a blueprint. Sure it looks desolate and inhospitable, but that's not how they see it.

Besides, they survived in it for all those years. At the end they want, they'll be the two sole survivors. It just checks out.

"Emily... please..." Eleven whispered. "You... you were the closest thing I had to a mother in that place. Remember? We drew pictures together. You would sharpen my pencils when they broke because I pressed too hard. I drew a picture of you, me, and Henry. Outside of the lab in the sun under a rainbow... a real rainbow. I wanted you both to take me away from there, away from Papa. When I hid in the closet, I thought we were going to... before you... I thought we were going to escape and be a family. A real family."

"Don't be afraid." They heard Henry say next to Max. "Try and stay very still. It will all be over soon." Eleven continued, gaining back Emily's attention.

"We could have found a house to live in. You would teach me more words, about how life is supposed to work. Teach me to use my powers in a supportive way. Not using fear and punishments like Papa. There would be a garden out front with blue and yellow flowers mixed with roses. We'd run around the yard and play games. We could dance to whatever song came on the radio."

Henry raised a hand, caging Max's face like he had the others.

"I could go to a real school and make real friends. Henry could help me with my homework while you made dinner. Real food. We'd go to the park and go on the swings, each of us trying to go higher than the other two. We'd ride the Ferris Wheel on the fourth of July while the fireworks exploded over our heads. We'd host sleepovers for my friends and eat too much ice cream."

Emily's limbs tingled slightly the closer Henry grew to taking Max's soul.

"I never wanted to destroy the world or remake it. I never wanted to hurt people. I just wanted to escape, escape with you so we could create our own world for ourselves. A family. But after what you and Henry did to the others in the lab, I knew that we could never have that. I wanted to believe that you were both good people who were trapped like I was. And part of me still does, still believes you both can put a stop to this before it's too late." Eleven was fully crying at this point, tears dragging down her cheeks and dripping from her chin. "Please, Emily, listen to me. You were my protectors once... what you're doing is wrong, all of this is wrong. Stop this before it's too late to turn back."

I like this monologue I gave Eleven because I like the idea that she can find the power to resist and fight back within herself. In fact just recently I edited this chapter to remove most of Mike's monologue since one, almost nobody likes it, and two, it fits my theme-ing better if Eleven can fight back with backup support from both Mike and Will (he gets to encourage Eleven now, too) rather than total support.

That, and it's almost the other side of this coin the previous passage I included presents. Creating a perfect world shouldn't mean destroying the previous one and everyone in it, it should mean creating your own world for yourself and those you care about. Emily and Henry are just too damaged and disillusioned to understand the difference.

Eleven's perfect world was getting to grow up in a normal, happy environment with two people she saw as protectors, as opposed to Henry and Emily's perfect world where they're all alone with their abnormalities.

Now we absolutely *have* to take a peek at Diplopia since there's so much to unpack in almost every conversation. I'll be nice and just pick one, though:

"Henry, what's the matter?" Emily asked, her hands holding her upper arms as if stuck between sympathizing and chastising. He looked up at her, his bright blue eyes sunken and contorted in barely restrained anger.

"Don't you see what's going on here? They're trying to draw you in and take you away from me." Henry replied, pointing back in the direction they came from.

"Henry, don't be ridiculous. They're trying to be hospitable. I know it's hard for you to trust anyone, but you're being paranoid. Just because they're vampires doesn't mean they see you as a side dish." Emily said, her arms now fully folding.

"Please, don't tell me you haven't noticed Blondie over there looking at you like you're some fancy meal. His eyes never leave you."

"Just because Caius looks strangely like you doesn't mean you have to get jealous. He's just trying to be nice."

"You saying things like that makes me worry that you've fallen under his sway." Henry jabed his finger out again in an acusatory way. By now Emily was getting angry.

"I'm not spineless, Henry. To be honest, yeah, I've noticed. But you know that's part of what I do. I steal souls through allure. What makes this different than any of the others?"

"Because he has my damn face!" Henry yelled. "You fell for it once, who says you can't do it twice?"

"Henry Creel, do you even hear yourself? You're being a paranoid, jealous freak."

"Maybe you're not being paranoid enough!" Henry pinched the bridge of his nose. "I want to go home as fast as we can. I don't want you being seduced by these... filthy bloodsuckers!"

When Emily didn't reply right away, Henry looked up at her to assess her expression. Her face immediately told him that he had fucked up. His eyes softened before Emily spoke.

"You... you do know that's what I am right?" She asked quietly. "I feed off of blood, too. Do you think I'm disgusting? Is that what you really think of me?"

"What? No, Emily, of course I don't!" Henry was quick to defend.

"Yes, you do. Don't lie to me. I could see it in your eyes. Every time Eddie and I had to feed, you were disgusted. Even when this became a need, you thought it was disgusting. That I was disgusting. Is that it?"

"Emily, no, I could never--"

"But you did!"

To me, this is the point in the story where we see the tone shift I never intended to happen, but did. Before this, it's largely been goofy fun with banter and these characters from two different worlds interracting. Sure there have been asides and innuendos, but nothing to indicate it could go far enough that this could turn into an actual deep rift. If we read His Tenebris Moenibus before this, we feel like Henry and Emily's bond seems incredibly strong, indestructable, nothing could tear them apart. After all the shit they've been through, nothing can come between them, right?

Really, in an ironic twist that can be taken in multiple ways, Henry is his own worst enemy.

We don't entirely know what happened between the end of HTM and Diplopia aside from some vague references. Eddie has to get resurrected somehow and that bond has to form among the three of them, Henry has to return to his human visage for the original joke to land, and between all of this there has to be some type of grating in his and Emily's relationship. I always saw it as Emily always feeling like she's seen as the second best and having to put Henry first in ways she feels like she doesn't get anything back for it. Then oops, here comes Caius, suddenly putting Emily first and giving her his complete attention without any strings attached (yet at least).

We sometimes forget that Emily is an inherently selfish person, so I don't think she was completely happy having to abstain from sustenance in the form of souls to bring Henry back since it was skin he hated that she learned to live with, even if she missed his human self. And of course Henry thinks drinking blood is a little strange, it's only natural he'd be a bit put-off by it.

These irrational thoughts Emily keeps on having are more dived into in her little monologue right after this, but here is I think where we as readers start to understand that something isn't quite right. That this is more than just a goofy crack fic and that it's actually something very serious... even if that wasn't my intention. There's that blend of the previous comedic tone with some of the things they say at the start of this passage, but it quickly evolves into something angstier.

That, and I keep compulsively saying "you're being a paranoid, jealous freak" when I'm alone. Which, that line has its own layers, but for the sake of brevity that I completely devote myself to, let's move on. I want to provide one more passage, this one from Necrosis.

It's not a passage I've published yet, not by a long shot, so it might need to be tweaked when the time comes. I'll avoid and censor spoilers by changing tenses and cutting off at a certain point, so bear in mind I'm not delivering the full context or truth, but I really want to talk about this:

"I don't know." Emily's tone remained even as she continued speaking. "I didn't really have a family growing up. I had disparate fragments of one, I suppose, but never anything like people are supposed to have. My mother abandoned me, I don't know who my real father was... I had a father figure at one point but he... I don't like remembering him, making almost twenty years of my life a living hell on earth, trapped in sterile white walls with the only reprieve being one room painted with rainbows. A sick joke.

"I had one person to rely on for twenty-five years, the first man I'd ever loved. I thought he'd be the only one I would ever love, both of us being damaged the way that we were. But... well you know that story. I had a best friend at one point, and a little girl I saw as a little sister or daughter at one point... Jane, oddly enough."

"But nothing that every really felt... whole?" Sulpicia offered. Emily nodded.

"I know I have siblings, but I don't know anything about them and they don't even know I exist. And I meant what I said when I grew up with someone who... another sister in law I'll never know."

"What was her name?"

"Alice. He never talked about her much. Some memories best left to the past." Emily paused, choosing her next words carefully. "I betrayed them all at one point. Both my parents died by my hands, directly or not. I turned my back on my Papa, I betrayed El- Jane's trust, I managed to hurt Eddie twice, and I... abandoned the first man I ever loved and who ever loved me. I knew leaving him would emotionally cripple him and I don't know if my doing that ended up getting him killed. All the different pieces of what could have been a family and I betrayed all of them.

"The day I walked in here, I was given all the love I had been missing in my life twenty, thirty, forty times over. Caius matched the love I already had in my life and more came with him. Maybe when I agreed to marry him, I wanted his family as much as I wanted him. For so long I said I didn't need one because I had all the family I needed. Picia, the Guard isn't beneath me, they're my friends, my cousins, even my siblings. And I have actual siblings to boot. You're my sister and Marcus is my brother..."

"But?"

"But I think I saw Aro as my brother first. The first one who greeted me when I got here, one of the first people I saw when I woke up, someone who seemed as insane and flawed as I was... and the first person who called me sister. We drive each other up the wall sometimes, sure, but... I'm just not sure what I'm feeling because I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

If you really critically think about it you might be able to piece together what's been going on, but if that's the case, so be it. This is by no means the end of this conversation, but I think it's a massive show of growth and introspection for Emily. Shit's been happening in Casa de Volturi and she can't just keep ignoring her problems.

That, and I really just wanted Emily to have a deep and personal moment with Sulpicia. Her sister by marriage, the only sister she's ever had. I feel like in twenty something years, Emily's talked about her past, but she hasn't been this vulnerable and detailed about it with anyone aside from Caius.

Me personally, I don't have a sister, but I know that can be a very important relationship and I wanted to display that to some degree. Emily simply can't go through life without letting people in, especially if she's going to be living with these people for thousands of years. She has relationships with the others, but again, other than Caius she's never been open about her past to anybody.

The twins are closer to younger siblings or even children to her and Jane isn't one you would usually exposition dump about your trauma to. Heidi's more like her Gal Pal she complains about current personal problems to rather than being abused in the Rainbow Room as a child. Mele maybe, but again, that's closer to a parent/child relationship and why would Emily burden Mele with past problems she can't properly comprehend.

It's not like Emily could talk to Marcus about this, the poor dude has his own baggage and hardly says more than a few words; Emily mostly ignores him. Aro's seen all of Emily's memories at one point most likely, so he knows all of this, but he's not the kind of guy she would pour her heart out to. If anything she's more guarded around him. Honestly, their dynamic is the closest Emily's gonna get to her relationship with Eddie in her Second Life, not someone you trauma dump to.

But I think it's important that Emily lets herself be vulnerable around more than just the person she's married to. I've written Sulpicia to be more wise and maternal... Chaotic in her own right, of course, look who she's married to. But honestly I really think Emily needed another woman to talk to. Someone who understands her (Sulpicia was an orphan as a human, too!) and who can be another shoulder to lean on. Emily letting all this out is a huge step for her as a person and for her and Sulpicia's relationship.

Of course this is by far the full context and it's not like this was a conversation that happened on a whim, lots of stuff has happened and it got ugly. Again, for spoiler's sake that's a secret for now, but even without all the context I think it's important to talk about this scene, even in part.

...and I'm apologizing for giving four very long answers to one question, the second one, no less.

NEXT!

H - How would you describe your style?

Many different ways. Descriptive first and foremost. I mean, sometimes I read other people's fics and think they're novel-worthy where mine may not be. Novella, maybe. I'm a bit jumpy sometimes, too, which contributes to that. It's rare for me to have many chapters cover the events of a few hours or a day, usually there's some kind of time skip. I'm getting better about it, I really think Necrosis is where I'm showing improvement with those skips, but they're still there.

I also can't really write something purely fluffy or comedic. There are ALWAYS darker undertones. I was talking about this with my JCB girlies on Discord just earlier today, but it's very rare you'll get a sweet moment from me that doesn't have some kind of undertone that makes it less than fluffy pristine. I can write Henry and Emily being affectionate all I want, it's never gonna be completely right. They're stuck in the lab forced to do this or that in regards to their relationship. They're in the Upside Down having a light conversation about murders they commited before making out on the sofa.

Guys, I turned a doppleganger crossover into a full blown angsty serious duology fic diving into relationship ethics and the role trauma plays in what we want in romantic partners and families. I can't write sunshine and fluffy clouds with unicorns relationship fluff to save my fucking life.

Lastly, this is something you've said about my writing before, but my ability to zoom in on small moments to display broader tones and contexts. It's one thing to say the conditions in HNL were abhorent for everyone involved, it's another to describe Two's tyrrany and all the ways Henry and Emily have been punished for small offenses.

A lot goes into my writing, so I couldn't give you a one or two word "style" to describe it as. Clearly, as with most things, I need six seasons and a movie.

K - What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

Can I say ripping Emily out of Henry's arms after all they've been through together in a scene that made me sob while writing it?

See, the thing is that most of the angst I come up with ends up getting used in one way or another. I suppose in one answer that's probably cheating, it's all the endings that I never wrote or I said weren't canon where my characters just don't get happily ever afters.

Maybe Alice's vision was a reality and Caius really died in front of Emily, the asshole she gave up everything for just taken away in an instant that she can't reverse. Maybe Loki never came back to life in Endgame (in my version he did and got to fight with the other Avengers cause I was piiiiiissed he didn't in the original movie) and Olivia has to watch everyone else get their happy reunions she will never have and has to learn to move on. Vengeance totally consumes Keira until she dies for, ultimately, a lie she created in her head and leaves her daughter behind in the process. So many things.

But I have another idea.

This is not something Emily knows, nor will she ever likely know since I won't really present the chance, but even if Henry did survive after they split ways, she shouldn't see him under any circumstances or even come anywhere near him. If she did, she'd discover that he would be her cantante, her blood singer:

Emily's self control around blood is already extremely strained, if she were to ever find a singer, she'd completely lose it and they'd be dead and drained before you could even say la tua cantante. If she were to ever see Henry again, she's instantly kill him because she couldn't control herself. Then she'd have to spend the rest of her extremely long life living with the fact that she killed her first love with her own hands, all because she couldn't control herself around his blood.

In a sense, unknowingly Henry became something like a forbidden fruit to her.

She'll never know this because they'll never cross paths again, but it's something that I know. And I know the consequences of what would happen if they did meet again.

They're not pretty.

M - Got any premises on the back burner you'd care to share?

I'm always coming up with little ideas, usually going towards the already in-progress fics. But sure, I'll bite.

One is a one shot I spoke of a while ago that takes place towards the end of Necrosis, not after. It'll have to be written and posted only after this point in the story itself because it would go into major spoilers. But the idea is that Emily gets to go back to Hawkins for a little while to just see how the town's evolved since she left. An all grown up Eddie turns up and after they both finally recognize each other, he basically tells her what's happened to Hawkins. Again, I'll keep some details to myself so I'm not revealing all my secrets, but I think it's going to really help Emily fully move past her human trauma that's in a sense been her ball and chain to some degree.

I've also briefly toyed with the idea of maybe trying to do a little Rule 63 and do something with Emily and a Henry who's a female. I don't think it'd change the story all that much, but I'm a sucker for evil women in fiction, let alone evil women lesbian power couples.

Also there's a mild temptation that comes with the idea of something adjacent to a high school AU where Emily and Henry just had normal lives and met in high school. All the classics, extracurriculars they support each other in, Henry sneaking in through Emily's window to study and "study," Henry using Victor's car to take Emily to a drive in, prom night...

Dammit, I'm just going through "Seventeen" from Heathers, aren't I?

Of course, it's not so much a plot bunny for a fresh fic, but once season 2 of Loki starts coming out, Time Variance Detected is getting a sequel. That's always been the plan ever since I knew there would be a season 2, but I'll start the planning and such once we get our first trailer... @ Marvel hint hint.

And maybe I'll write some about Lydia, my Sweeney Todd OC. I have a story in mind for her, but nothing beyond a "this happens then this happens" barebones plan. It's always hard to write fics for musicals because where's the line between dialogue and lyrics that need to be said for plot reasons. It's an idea though.

I also have some drafts I need to finish up that could be considered new ideas, but you'll have to wait for those...

I'll probably even have more ideas before I post this, but I'll stop here.

S - Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

I'm assuming most of my signatures are easy to identify. Corruption arcs, redemption arcs, evil power couples, evil women, transformation scenes, [X] to Lovers, references to other fandoms (some more egriegous than others), and various forms of angst.

Actual footage of me writing my fics tbh.

V - If you could write a sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Honestly... I wouldn't.

I think the fics I've read ended or began perfectly the way they did. Besides, they're not my stories and only their authors can truly continue them with the same essence and spark they started with. I don't think my writing style would truly capture that same feeling.

I'll instead use this time to do some Twilight fic recs since that's mostly what my bookmarks tab is... listen, the fics for this fandom can be straight up bangers.

This one I was initially apprehensive about since it's a first person fic, but honestly... it adds to the whole experience. The original novels are in first person and this author not only captures Bella's mannerisms, but vastly improves upon them. Plus, the tags of "Bella Swan with a Backbone" and "Out of Character Bella Swan" in sequence absolutely killed me. It's at a bit of a lul, but there are only two more chapters set to come out. Worth the read, 100%

This one just finished. This was I think my first forray into this flavor of Twilight fic and it's very well constructed. I always love fics that turn canon on its head, making Edward deranged at losing Bella and again, making Bella still feel like Bella, just Better. And the characterization is just 🤌.

This one. THIS ONE. MAGNIFIQUE. This author's got some wonderful works and I'd even go as far to say we're amicable. This fic made me feel so many emotions so intensely. I remember staying up well past 3 AM to just keep reading it before common sense won over telling me I had classes in the morning. Then the next day I kept reading... I screamed and flopped around so much I think my roommate thought I was dying. Again, not my usual prefered flavor but DAMN it's so good.

Plus, the way they wrote Caius and Athenodora's relationship made me feel like a middle schooler reading OTP fanfiction again. A peak feeling, squeals and audible "THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME" screeches included. You know, in case it wasn't obvious I'm very protective of Caius and whoever he's with at the time. That, and Thena deserves better and I'll go to my grave saying it

W - Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

I like both for different reasons.

Specific prompts means that I get more ideas from the prompt that I may not have come up with in a more broad one. It lets me work around new curves and provides a fun challenge for me.

General prompts let me be a bit more creative, of course. The world's my oyster and I can create anything I want from just a simple idea.

I couldn't really pick one or the other (wow, look, the bisexual disaster can't pick, shocker!).

We're... we're gonna pretend like I don't have several writing requests in my inbox I've been sitting on for months or even years at this point... I'M VERY SORRY, I PROMISE I WILL EVENTUALLY DO THEM.

***

But thanks for the ask as always! And again, here's the customary "I'm sorry for going way too overboard" statement... I genuinely can't help it.

#lmao why am i like this seriously like #gets one simple question and gives four responses like who fucking does that #me apparently #fishgills speaks #writing asks #ask game #fic writing #fanfiction asks #writing ask game #stranger things oc #twilight oc #avengers oc #spiderman oc #also some fic recs i guess?#beloved mutuals #my inbox is open

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