#lmk incorrect quotes

[thirdlotusprince3]

Sun Wukong: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Macaque: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#81 The favorite

Wukong: Sunshine said I was their second favorite person, and I was bummed, but then they said Macaque is third, They have no favorite person. They’re holding the position open...

On the beach

Y/n*With baby monkeys napping around them and Mk on their lap, rubbing his back* Dont tell your Baba's but you're my favorite~

MK(6)*Sucking his numb and nods*Okie!

[noose-lion]

*summarized flash back shadowpeach*

Wukong: Go big or go home!

Macaque, just wanting his homoerotic bestie eternity already: Wukong. For once in your life, go home. Please, just this once.

Wukong:...

Wukong: I’m going big.

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

MK: Hey guys I was thinking of asking Red Son out on a date but I need some advise first Wukong: No, trust me you do not want to be in a relationship they are nothing but pain and hard ship. Macaque: *whacks him* Wukong: See! MK: *Turns to Pigsy* Please tell me you have some useful advice? Pigsy: Look kid just because I'm dating Tang does not mean I know how

[coffee-master]

[Warning contains: Shadowpeach]

[In some kind of universe]

Macaque & Wukong: *are holding hands*

Macaque: Hey Peaches?

Wukong: Hm?

Macaque: Do you think We are together in every universe?

Wukong: Obviously!

Macaque & Wukong: *starts hugging each other*

[MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE-]

Macaque attacking Wukong: DIE YOU BITCH-!

Wukong: FUCK YOU!-

[sleeplessdreamer14]

Wukong: Be myself? Tang, I have one night to win over Y/N’s parents. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Sandy: Couple weeks.

Mei: Six months.

Pigsy: Jury's still out.

Wukong: See, Tang? "Be myself," what kind of garbage advice is that?

[gxthicupid]

INCORRECT QUOTE #23

Redson : This bloodline ends with me.

MK : That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say, "I'm gay."

[pollensweetchimera]

MK (breaking down the door): Y/N!

Y/n: wow easy there,whats up-

Mk: did you sleeped with MY FATHERS??!!

Everyone in the room silence.

Y/n: first of all show some respect for your step parent and second of all,you grounded.

[yourlocaltrashpandaa]

MK: you think Red Son is what?

Y/n: I think he’s neat

MK: *squints at y/n* yes, but why?

++===++

{I like the dynamic of y/n being a red son fan and MK being jealous}

[thattripleabattery]

Monkey king: hey macaque, can I borrow 5000$?

Macaque: why the hell do you need 5000$

Monkey king: for an escape room

Macaque:what kind of escape room costs 5000$

Monkey king:

Monkey king (under the mountain): …. Jail

[thirdlotusprince3]

Red Son: *recording videos with the Monkie Kid gang* I have no intention of being friends.

Red Son: *watching movies with them* You're all just steppingstones to my success.

Red Son: *looking for gifts for Mei' birthday* Friends are a distraction.

Red Son: *in a group hug* Disgusting.

[luxthestrange]

LMK Incorrect quotes#42 Rock

Wukong, holding a rock: Y/n just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock..."

Nezha: If you don't marry them, I will...

[noose-lion]

Sandy: We call that a traumatic event.

Sandy, turning to MK: Not a "bruh moment."

Sandy, turning to Wukong: Not a "major L."

Sandy, turning to Macaque: And definitely not an "oof lmao."

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

MK: Oh no.

Wukong: What's wrong?

MK: An angry boyfriend is coming towards us.

Wukong: Uh... Mine or yours?

MK: Does it really matter?

Wukong: Well, if it's Red Son we might... no actually we're dead either way.

[blackbirdnessie]

Shadowpeach incorrect quotes

Sun Wukong: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Macaque : Sun Wukong, that’s gay.

Sun Wukong: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

Sun Wukong : Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Macaque: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously not the real me.

Macaque : As top in this relationship, I think we should-

Sun Wukong: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

Brotherhood era Macaque : We should get you to a healer for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sun Wukong: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Macaque : But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Sun Wukong: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Macaque : Is it working?

Sun Wukong: Go fuck yourself.

Macaque, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

Sun Wukong: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Macaque : This is a lie.

Macaque : I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Macaque : THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Macaque : Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sun Wukong: AS ENEMIES again?!

Macaque :

Sun Wukong: What are you in the mood for?

Macaque : World domination.

Sun Wukong: That's a bit ambitious.

Macaque : You are my world.

Sun Wukong: Aww...

Macaque :

Sun Wukong:

Macaque :

Sun Wukong: OH.

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: I feel like doing something stupid.

Brotherhood era Macaque : I’m stupid, do me.

Peng in the background: *wheeze*

Sun Wukong: Listen, we’re done, we’re over! Okay?

Macaque : Whatever bitch, you ain’t never gonna find no one like me.

Sun Wukong: Yeah, that's the point shithead!

Macaque : This date is boring!

Sun Wukong: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Macaque : Then why did you invite me?

Mk, who's only homophobic when it comes to Shadowpeach: he didnt, he specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sun Wukong I'll do whatever I want!"

Macaque, to Sun Wukong : We had a date!

Sun Wukong: *aggressively points to Bai he and the Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Sun Wukong: Did it hurt when you fell-

Macaque : From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Sun Wukong: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Macaque : ...

Sun Wukong: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Macaque to Mk : Sun Wukong is playing hard to get.

Macaque : Little do he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Sun Wukong: I have feelings for Macaque.

MK : Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Sun Wukong: Look, last night was a mistake.

Macaque : A sexy mistake.

Sun Wukong: No, just a regular mistake.

Macaque : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Sun Wukong: Nope, there's 26.

Macaque : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Sun Wukong: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Macaque : You'll get the D later ;).

MK in the distance : Ugh!!!!

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: Macaque and I are no longer dating.

Brotherhood era Macaque : peaches, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re Mated.

Sun Wukong: Fight me!

Macaque : *gets on one knee and pulls out a ring*

Macaque : Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Sun Wukong: Macaque , you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Macaque , naked in Sun Wukong's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Sun Wukong, already taking off their clothes: Fuck... Me neither.

Sun Wukong: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Macaque : Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Sun Wukong: ...

Sun Wukong: You mean ring bearER, right?

Macaque : ...

Sun Wukong: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

Sun Wukong: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Macaque : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Sun Wukong: I said within reason, Macaque . How about I murder that guy?

Macaque : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Sun Wukong: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Brotherhood era Macaque, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong, confused: I mean, this is my mountain, so yeah.

Macaque : Sun Wukong, you love me, right?

Sun Wukong: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

Possessed Wukong: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!

Macaque : In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?

Possessed Wukong: I don't know, surprise me!

Macaque : You look good in that hoodie.

Sun Wukong: You know where else I'd look good?

Macaque , zero hesitation: My bed.

Sun Wukong, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

Sun Wukong: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Macaque : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Sun Wukong: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Macaque : You always act stupid.

Macaque :

Macaque : Wait...

Sun Wukong: Wow, Macaque , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Macaque : We literally slept together yesterday.

Sun Wukong: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Brotherhood era Macaque : We should be partners.

Brotherhood era Sun Wukong: You mean like, partners in crime?

Brotherhood era Macaque : Yeah... that’s precisely what I meant.

Sun Wukong: Bro-

Macaque : No, no, hold up, rewind.

Macaque : My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Macaque : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Sun Wukong: Okay.

Macaque who, has never seen sharkboy and lavagirl : And make out during the scary parts.

Sun Wukong: Th-

Sun Wukong: The scary parts.

Sun Wukong: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Mei : Do you want to explain the text you sent Monkey King last night?

Macaque : It was autocorrect.

Mk: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me." To Monkey King?

Macaque : Yes.

Sun Wukong: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?

Macaque : Dude- Its satire!

Sun Wukong: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

Macaque walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sun Wukong, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sun Wukong, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

[sleeplessdreamer14]

Macaque: (jolts awake in the middle of the night) Wait, I’m sorry!

Wukong: (wakes up) Wh- what happened? What happened?

Macaque: (rubs forehead) I’m killing Tang.

Wukong: (tiredly rubs his neck) What? You’re gonna kill Tang? Alright. Car’s gassed up, that’s good. Guess I could homeschool MK-

Macaque: No, Wukong, (explains what he means)

Wukong: Oh, gotcha.

Macaque: Good lord, Wukong, you had all that ready?

Wukong: What? I’m just being supportive, goodnight. (goes back to sleep)