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sweetestcaptainhughes · 2 months

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do we say goodbye?

Word Count - 4500

Summary: With the news of John being traded some difficult choices need to be made.

Warnings: dom male/sub fem

Authors Note: I was actually already writing this before that Johnny picture was posted today but then I was like whoo I gotta finish this for y'all. I actually likely proof read most of this and then was just like fuck it, so sorry for grammar and spelling errors as always. So please enjoy, and as always thank you for reading my garage.

Masterlist

It has been exactly 2 weeks since you received the news that John was going to have to move to Utah at the end of the summer because he was traded. Somehow, it feels longer, it feels like it’s been a lifetime of mourning together trying to decide what is the best course of action. Should you drop everything you had in Jersey, your friends, your career, your life to move to Utah with someone you’ve only been dating for eight months? And yet in the same breath, it feels like your entire body is still in shock, as if you just heard the knock on your door that Saturday morning.

Opening the door to see your boyfriend was a pleasant surprise, “Hi Johnny whatcha doing here? I thought you had plans today, decided you missed me?” Your voice was light, airy… happy to see him until you looked up and saw his face, his eyes filled with hurt and pain, like he was struggling to even look at you as he winced at your words. “Johnny baby what’s wrong?” Opening your apartment door further to welcome him in.

“Can we talk lovie.” he asks as he steps into your apartment, immediately taking his shoes off knowing you are serious about a shoeless apartment.

“What’s wrong Johnny? You’re scaring me, did something happen back home?” anxiously asking as you wrap your arms around yourself trying to brace yourself for whatever is about to come.

“No everyone’s okay, just please can we sit down.” As he softly reaches out to grab you trying to pull you towards your living room. As he’s pulling you towards the couch you can’t slow your mind down.

“Are you breaking up with me?” you ask as your voice cracks, John whips his head around so fast, immediately his hands are crowning your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“No. never” even though he whispers his words you know that he’s telling the truth.

“Then what?” asking as you go to hold onto him for comfort as you feel your breath start to catch scared of whatever he’s about to say; but what he does say never in a million years would you expect.

“I got traded, baby…. I mean I knew it was a possibility but I didn’t think, I never thought it would be.” he starts rambling, still holding your face but his eyes staring off into somehow else, as if he’s finally letting his anger be felt.

“Where? Somehow local? Rangers that would be funny, Islanders, Capitals?” you ask, a smile forming on your lips, relief filling your body at that being the news. Your question brings John’s attention back to you.

“Utah.” he mumbles, his eyes not leaving your face as he watches your breath quicken. The shock of how far away that is, let alone that there is literally nothing in fucking Utah.

“No… no, no, you're kidding really where?” a shocked chuckle leaving your lips as you tighten your grip on the sides of John’s t-shirt.

“Baby I’m sorry.” he mumbles and that’s all it takes for you to break, because somehow even though John said that this wouldn’t be the end he knew in a way it was the end. Once the words sank in, you couldn’t help breaking down, John’s arms moving to your waist, as you felt like you were falling, but he caught you. He would always catch you, he was your Johnny, what were you supposed to do without your Johnny. “I got you baby, shhh it’s alright, let it out baby girl.” as he carried you to the coach and let you cry until you exhausted yourself. “I’m so fucking sorry honey.” he coos in your ear as he holds you tighter.He held you that entire day, not even answering his phone as his teammates, family members who didn’t know and the world was blowing up his phone at the news. All he cared about was that you knew that nothing was going to change even if he lived on the other side of the country.

That was two weeks ago to the day, John told you that he loved you and he would do whatever you wanted. He told you that he loved you and that he didn’t wanna lose you. But he understood if you didn’t wanna do long distance because it isn’t what you signed up for. Not when you met him in the bar celebrating with his team all those months ago. The last two weeks along with spending as much time as possible together, you’ve been haunted by the memories of everything you have built over the last eight months. The games you’ve gone to, dealing with the roadies, meeting his family when they played Bruins, and him meeting yours. John and you just made sense together, he wasn’t some dumb guy who happened to play hockey. He was close to a genius IQ, but also funny, and didn’t need to be the center of attention. He loved staying home with you and being a homebody after his busy week at the rink. He was the kindest man you’ve ever dated, always called you when he was away. When you were working late on a project, he would doordash food to your home so he knew you would eat that night. Something about you guys just fit and the idea of him having to move across the country broke you.

At first it was no brainer that you would do long distance, but for how long? Everything you had built in your career was around Manhattan, who were you to leave everything you’ve built. Living in big cities like John was all you ever knew and both of you knew that you wouldn’t be happy in Utah. Although it was unspoken you both knew that you had a clock counting down the minutes to the end, knowing ultimately that you weren’t meant to do long distance. If you were ever meant to be more than you already were, you would have to move to Utah. Would you ever want to leave everything behind for John? Both of you knew the answer was no and that your relationship had a deadline that was fastly approaching. At first when you found out, it felt as if the deadline was just something in the background, John and you were still able to be you. Both being able to go on dinner dates, watch movies and cuddle on the couch, take lazy Sunday naps. Somehow over the last two weeks the tension has come to the front of your mind. It was making it hard to focus when he was holding you at night thinking about how in less than 8 weeks he would be gone and you would be alone. When you were getting ready for work and you accidentally almost tripped over one of his house slippers, at first you were frustrated that you almost fell. But then your mind played a trick on you, it let you think about how it might be the last time you almost trip over his slippers and how you should be grateful.

The thoughts of him leaving you, starting to consume you slowly but then it became too much, on your subway ride to work you would let your mind wander about how sad you will be.

The first time you came to one of his games, you decided to make it a surprise and you were so grateful that you did because the look on his face of pure shock and happiness made your chest so warm, you no longer felt cold in the arena. He was in the middle of warm ups with Luke, when Luke pointed you out standing on the other side of the glass. He skated so fast over to you holding his gloved hand up to you. The arena was already starting to get full since warm-ups were almost over, so you couldn’t hear exactly what Jack and Curtis were saying on the other side but you knew it had something to do with John’s reaction to seeing you, because next thing you knew he’s flipping them the bird.

Lost in your own brain filled with memories you miss your stop on the train. Never in the whole 3 years that you’ve had this job have you ever missed your stop until today. Too busy focusing on thinking about the memories of you and him, suddenly you couldn’t breath thinking about how heartbroken you will be at the end of the summer. It was as if in that moment you knew, you knew that your heart couldn’t wait until the end of the summer to call it off. Knowing now that you had to break up with the love of your life because the idea of having one last perfect summer together broke your heart more than saying goodbye now.

Trying to just make it through your day, without thinking too much about how tonight when John comes over you will be breaking both your hearts. The entire day you couldn’t focus on doing anything, it was like you were in autopilot mode, just going through the motions of your day. It was as if your mind kept going over all the possibilities of how tonight would go down in your mind forever as the night you ended it all. Sadly what were you supposed to do, live long distance for years or have one last good summer together and then break up? Johnny was supposed to spend most of the summer in Boston with family, so to ask him to stay here to have one last summer together felt wrong. At the time, him being in Boston and already starting long distance felt even worse. This had to end, even if it wasn’t fair, even if you loved him more than anyone else, even if you felt like he was your forever. Ultimately, you decided that it’s better to end it now, before it fell apart and became like broken glass at both your feet.

Johnny was already supposed to come over tonight, since he broke the news neither of you have been able to be apart for a night, trying to soak in all the time you can. Deciding you needed to get home as soon as possible you decided to take an lyft to your apartment instead of train all the way back to Jersey. The entire ride back you sitting in the backseat, fidgeting as your nervousness starts to build up at the fact that you have to tell Johnny you can’t do this. The idea of being in a relationship with a deadline was slowly breaking you more than just calling it off now. A part of you hated yourself for what you were about to do. Nonetheless if you don’t break it off, you don’t know how you were going to survive not having Johnny around in the fall if you don’t choose yourself now.

Finally, reaching your apartment building you mumble a quick thank you to the driver and get out. Quickly making it into the safety of your home, deciding you needed to shower and wash off the dirt of the city air. By the time John lets himself into your apartment with his key you’re in the bathroom finishing up some much needed skin care. He walks into your bedroom calling out for you. “In here.” you yell back. He immediately walks into the bathroom and holds you from the back.

“hi baby girl.” he mumbles, a black snapback on his head, and in some basketball shorts and a devils t-shirt.

“Hey.” you mumble out, trying not to focus too hard on the way your body wants to sink into his and let him hold you forever.

“How was your day?” he mumbles as he starts leaving little kisses on your shoulder knowing that you're not done rubbing in all your moisturizer on your face yet.

“I missed my stop on the train, so I was late to work.” finally making eye-contact with him in the mirror.

“What? Honey, you're like a true New Yorker now, you could fall asleep and wake up in time for your stop. What happened?” his voice full of concern as he turned you around in his arms, pinning you to the sink behind you, his legs trapping you from moving. Finally done your skin care, you just look down finding comfort in looking at your hands not wanting to do this yet. Not wanting to have this inevitable conversation but knowing it needs to be done.

“Babygirl, you just did your skincare I know you don’t want me to touch your face” he whispers his hand gently going towards your face as if he was going to force you to look at him. Deciding to give into him before he does, you look up tears threatening to spill.

“It’s just not fair, ya know Johnny, I mean were happy.” The tears that were threatening to spill are now fully coming down your face. Johnny catches each one with his hand before you hide your face in his neck.

He softly starts cooing to calm you down, “shhh baby I know I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” Holding you tight, lifting you so that you're sitting on the edge of the sink, your legs wrapping around him to push him as close as possible. “It kills me that I’m gonna break your heart at the end of the summer.” he softly admits.

Slowly, you remove your head so that you see Johnny’s face when you let your confession slip out of your mouth “it’s already breaking me.” That’s all it takes for Johnny to close the distance between you both smashing your lips together, the kiss was full of need; need to be close, need for him being traded a nightmare, need for showing your love to each other, need for one last night together. “I’m sorry Johnny I just can’t-” you start to explain but he cuts you off.

“It’s okay baby. I know.” as he reassures you, your tears start to fall out at even a faster rate. He starts cooing at you, holding you so tight it’s hard to breathe but somehow that reassures you more then if he wasn’t. Between each phrase of comfort leaving small kisses all over your face, neck and shoulders showering you with the love he feels for you. “It's okay lovie…. It’s not your fault…I understand…. Don’t cry lovie…” Each sentiment that leaves his mouth somehow calming you more than the last until you stop crying.

“Johnny?” you mumble

“Yes lovie.” The nickname not going unnoticed by your heart, he’s the only one that’s ever called you that and no one else will ever be able to call you that.

“Can w- we have one last night please?” hiding in his neck. He doesn’t answer, instead he picks you up and carries you to your bed softly laying you down and climbing between your legs. This time he’s the one that hides in the safety of your neck, needing to feel him as close as possible you throw his snapback off. Your hand immediately goes to his curls, your other hand stretching up and down his back.

“Hmm lovie” he almost moans out, something about the sounds that leave his mouth turns you on. “Feels good.” he mumbles as he leaves little wet kisses down your neck, giving extra attention to where your neck and shoulder meet.

“Ah Johnny.” gasping at the feeling of him, rolling your hips up trying to get some friction. “please.” you beg, “i- i need-” your having trouble forming words as his mouth hasn’t left your sweet spot on your neck definitely leaving a hickey.

“I know baby me too. I’ve got you.” he mumbles, as his hands go to your hips, softly creasing the skin of your love handles. You're not sure if it’s just the emotions from the entire day building up or just your need but you feel yourself getting more turned on and he’s barely done anything. “Imma take my time okay lovie.” he mumbles as he dips, lifting your t-shirt just enough to relieve your stomach and the bottom of your breasts. “No bra baby.” he mumbles as his head goes to nip at the bottom of them.

“Please… Johnny.” you beg. Your hands go back to his curls as he leaves wet kisses mixed with little bites all over you. “I need to feel you.”

He looks up from you, making eye contact knowing that this angle turns you on even more. “I know and you will lovie.” Slowly removing your t-shirt and bra leaving wet kisses down the valley of your breasts. Coming back up gives extra attention to your nipples, giving kitten lips in between the two. Your hips go back up trying to get relief for yourself.

Your hands both in this hair, your legs locked behind his back. His hand that isn’t playing with your boobs, goes in between and under your sweatpants. His two fingers teasing you above your underwear, teasingly going up and down your core. Stopping where your clit is, leaving small softly pressed circle motions. You can’t help but arch your back to the touch, as he comes up to right below your ear. “Who’d get you this wet baby?” as he lightly kisses right under your ear.

Your hands are going to grip the back of his shirt, your hands fisted in fabric as you lightly moan. “you only you Johnny.” His fingers start putting a little more pressure behind their movements. “Ahhhh please”

“Okay baby” he whispers, as he goes to sit up on his knees. He removes his shirt, his hands then going to the side of your sweats, you lift your hips to help him remove both your sweats and underwear. “Just gotta taste ya first.”

“Johnny” you whine.

“Shhh… gotta taste my girl one last time.” He admits it like it’s a confession as if he’s practicing his ‘sacrament of penance’. As his eyes leave yours as he starts to bend down to you, pushing your legs up to make room for himself. Starting with alternating between your inner thighs leaving little kisses, you're a moaning mess under him.

“Stop being a tease.” you beg. “Please, it's too much.” you look down at him, as he’s looking up at you directly between your legs. John’s not sure if it was you begging or the look of desperation in your eyes but he gave into you. His lips easily form around your clit sucking lightly. His left arm lays over your waist holding you down as you attempt to move due to the pleasure. He can’t help but wiggle his own hips as he hears the noises coming out of your mouth. John was always someone who got off on getting you off. His other hand that wasn’t busy holding you still going under him to tease your hole. His tongue quickly leaves your clit to lap down your folds and then back up.

“I need - I need more” you beg between breaths. But you know John well enough that you knew from the look in his eyes that he gave there was no fucking way you were getting more until you cummed. Throwing your head back you tried to focus on the pleasure you felt just when you were about to cry of frustration. That’s when you felt two of his fingers slip into your hole, slowly pumping in and and out of you, stretching you out. Suddenly a string of curse words left your lips as you were able to finally feel yourself chase that all too familiar high point of an orgasim forming. “Right there don’t stop” your words only encourage John to pump his fingers faster, and suck a little harder on your clit. Suddenly you can feel yourself clutching around John’s fingers knowing you're close. “Johnny I- I’m close. I’m imma cum.” another moan leaving your body as you arch your back as much as John’s arm will let you.

John removes his mouth from you just to speak, “go ahead baby let go for me. Show me how good I make you feel.” Immediately putting his mouth back around your clit and sucking with even more pressure than before. That’s all it takes for you to let go, a slur of curse words and groans leaving your lips as you ride out high. John slowly removes your fingers, letting himself taste you, “hmmm you always taste so fucking sweet. Wanna taste?” Shaking your head yes, he slowly shoves his fingers inside your mouth, quickly closing your eyes enjoying the calmness it brings you. “God your so fucking beautiful sucking my fingers tasting yourself baby.” A small moan humming around your lips at his words. He starts to remove his fingers, a frown forms on your lips.

A soft “no stop” leaving your lips as he removes his hand so that he takes his shorts and boxers off quickly. “Do you need to suck on something babygirl?” he asks cockly, already knowing the answer, already knowing that you always love sucking on anything he’s willing to give you. Shaking your head yes as you try to reach for his hand again. “Well I was gonna be nice and let you suck my cock but if you just want my fingers” he teases as he gives you his hand.

A deep frown forming on your face as you say “no no I’m sorry I.. I want..” you mumble, your cheeks suddenly turn a light shade of red. John takes his hand gripping your chin a little tighter than needed, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“Want what?” he asks

“I want your cock instead.” you confess and before you even process what's happening, John flips you both so you're on top.

“Go ahead baby, suck it until you feel better.” Quickly you bend down, putting the tip in your mouth softly. Closing your eyes immediately at the satisfaction of having him in your lips. Johnny takes one of his hands and makes a makeshift ponytail slowly guiding you to take him deeper.

“Fuck I forgot how good you are at this lovie.” he compliments which is only met with your moans, feeling the vibrations around himself he groans. That’s all it takes for him to take control of you fucking him with your mouth. He lets himself get lost in the pleasure of your mouth for a few minutes before he removes you from his mouth.

Pulling you up by the makeshift ponytail up to his lips, passionately kissing you teeth and all. “As much as I love your mouth, I need to last so I can fuck your brains out and feel your pussy pulsing around my cock.” Pulling you back in for another kiss as he brings you to straddle him.

“Okay” you let out leaning in for another kiss. Pulling away “how do you want me Johnny” giving him the most innocent look you can muster knowing that it drives him crazy.

“On your side” he demands. Laying down on your side, your back facing him. , you stretch out limbs so they are all limp before you feel John lay down behind you. “Im gonna fuck you so hard you can’t even remember your name.” Suddenly you feel him move your knees so that your hole is a little more open. He slowly eases in, he always lets you get used to his thickness before moving.

“Fuck you always feel so good lovie.” As one hand goes to grab your boob and play with your nipple. His mouth leaves wet kisses on your shoulder blade. As soon as he feels you relax, he slowly starts moving. Closing your eyes you focus on the way that he manages to hit your g-spot with every thrust.

“Ahh Johnny.” throwing your head back against him giving him access to your neck, as he lightly nips at it quickening his pace. Both you can’t help the little signs you let out.

“Look at me lovie.” he demands, you turn your next you see him as he speaks his head over your shoulder. “God I love looking at you all fucked out.” All you can do is whine. “We’ve barely started and you're already looking dumbfounded.” As he squeezes the boob he was playing with before leaving it and going to play with your clit.

“Ah fuck” you scream.

“Oh now you speak.” he mumbles as he attempts to grab your lips kissing you as he fucks up into you. Between John playing with your clit and still repeatively hitting your g-spot you know you aren’t gonna last long. It doesn’t surprise you when you feel that coil start to form tightly in the pout of your stomach. Once he pulls away but not before biting your bottom lip between his lips, you tell him.

“Johnny, I'm cum You whine staring at his eyes.

“I know I’m close just wait for me okay. “One hand goes to his face to reach him into another kiss as the other goes to play with your neglected nipples. Feeling it become harder to even hold on, you start to roll your hips backwards trying to meet John’s thrusts. The feeling of you being too much for John “fuck fuck im cumming let go.” With that both of you fall into true bliss as you let your orgasim take over your body both screaming probably loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Once you both calm down from your highs you both just lay there still connected.

John pulls out feeling himself get soft. He pulls you around in his arms. “We’ll go shower in a few, okay, do you wanna use the bathroom first or shower first?” As you're watching John talk you can’t help but softly smile, his eyes only slightly open asking you what you wanna do.

“I should probably go to the bathroom first. But my legs feel like jelly.” you lightly chuckle and you hear Johnny let out a light laugh.

“I’ll carry you in a few minutes.” AS he pulls you closer to him in his arms closing his eyes for a second. “And then we can have round two in the shower.” Lightly smacking his chest and full blown laughing at his joke.

“Hey johnny?” you softly say

“Yeah lovie.” opening his eyes, giving you his attention.

“I really hate Utah.” you admit.

“Me too so fucking bad, you have no idea. But let’s just enjoy tonight okay?” He softly pleads.

“Okay.” sinking into his arms deciding that it was more important to have one last good night with the love of your life before you let him go because sometimes the universe was cruel to kind people.

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kentosovertime · 7 months

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(n.) the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

toji x afab!reader, fiance!megumi - 2.7k words

A/N: here's a comeback fic for my blog resurrection, had this idea before I stopped writing and FINALLY got to it, enjoy~

CW: explicit content, explicit language, age gap, revenge cheating, manipulation, humiliation, dubcon language, your dad will do, virgin!reader, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, breeding, non consensual videotaping at the end, anger issues (rip the reader)

“For fucks sake!” You screech, the sound of your rage swallowed by a bus that screams by the side of the road as you slam the hood of your smoking car shut.

“At least it’s not in flames-” Starts a random passerby walking their dog, but is sent running when you send them a withering glare. After the weekend you’ve had and it’s only Friday night?

You open your phone, your glare turning to the long list of outgoing calls to every hotel within an hour of your apartment, all booked to no vacancy for a local festival. Your landlord really picked the perfect weekend to kick all their tenants out for “emergency” maintenance for an issue that was reported months ago.

Someone must have threatened to report the living conditions, as his attitude quickly changed when he offered to reimburse the hotel costs if his tenants were forced to stay at one.

Your gaze softens as you scroll through those calls to where Megumi contacted you, letting you know he had made it to the martial arts competition he was coaching this weekend. His soft spot and skill for taking care of children was what initially drew you to him, but right now you wished more than anything you could press on his name and he could come to your rescue like always.

Calling a tow truck to bring your car to the mechanics wasn’t necessarily the issue… but being on the streets for the next couple nights was. With your car in this condition, it wasn’t like you could sleep in it, given your inability to find even a shity motel room in the worst part of town.

You take a moment to mourn the fact that you didn’t move closer to where your family lives before realizing you really only have one option in front of you; Toji.

The contact information for your boyfriend's father mocks you on the screen, daring you to call him, a perfect stranger, to come and save your ass. The lack of familiarity wasn’t based on a lack of effort on your part, having tried repeatedly to get Megumi to open up about his family. The most that you were able to glean was that his mother had passed away and his father wasn’t often present.

“Hello?” A gruff voice answers on the first ring. You didn’t even realize you had pressed his number before he was on the line. “Sorry, Mr. Fushiguro? This is Megumi’s fiance…” An awkward, lasting silence stretches out between the two of you before you clear your throat and try again. “I’m very sorry to bother you, but Megumi is out of town and m-my car is billowing smoke a-and all the hotels are booked-”

Toji smirks as you ramble, rather cutely he may add, grabbing his wallet and keys before he’s even told you yes to both of your requests. He chuckles under his breath as you struggle to not fill the silence, letting your words hang in the air again.

“I’m on my way,” He hums as he twists the keys in the ignition of his car. “Get your stuff out of the car in case it explodes.”

He barks out a laugh as he hangs up and hears a distressed noise of dismay leave your throat. You’re so easily worked up, he wonders if this is why Megumi has done everything in his power to prevent the two of you from meeting… a valid concern. Considering how that ex of his used to try to hang off of Toji. He shudders in disgust at the memory of the girl, still in high school and thinking she was worth a second glance.

Something tells him you’d be a prettier sight.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

This is why Megumi has been telling you no… It takes everything in you to keep your jaw snapped shut as you watch his father prowl up to where you're standing over your suitcase on the sidewalk, nervously glancing at the vehicle he made seem may blow up at any second.

You approach the car hesitantly when he waves you over, shocked that your legs work from how tightly your wound. He opens up the hood to take a look at what’s causing the smoke while you wait for your tow.

“Here, sweetheart.” It only takes him a second to point out what's wrong with your engine, gently redirecting your finger when you point to an area in question. “I wouldn’t hold out too much hope that this is worth fixing… you may be looking at a new set of wheels.”

Anger and frustration well up in you again, even as a flush of heat cascades down your spine at the small touch of his skin on yours. You’re thankful for the distraction the anger provides, given the other option is avoiding looking at how his tight black t-shirt stretches across his torso or drooling like a pitiful little girl. Your fiance is attractive, but there’s still a softness to his face. He lacks the hard planes and sharp angles his father possesses.

“One thing at a time.” Toji squeezes your shoulder with a smirk, leading closer than he should. How is he supposed to help himself when you seem ready to snap with how tightly you’ve wound yourself? The tension in your back only winds further with how he kneads your skin. “If you need it, I’ll pitch in to help Megumi get you around for a bit.”

Your mouth opens to stutter out a reply… or maybe a denial for such an open ended offer, but the horn of the tow truck stops you.

“Let me handle that.” He hums. “I wouldn’t want the tow truck driver to try to take advantage of you.”

Watching him leave, you pull the phone from your pocket, sending Megumi a quick update about where you’re going before your phone dies. You shove it back into its spot after you’ve powered it off, saving what’s left of the battery for when you’re able to dig out your phone charger.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Toji holds the door to his house open for you, bracing his hand on the small of your back as you cross the threshold to a surprisingly tasteful living room.

“What?” You can hear the smirk in his voice, the shock must be written all over your face. “Expect a futon couch and a mattress on the floor?”

“M-Maybe..” You rub your neck with a sheepish look, managing a small chuckle as he leads you down the hall to what you assume is the room you’ll be using. “Something about unmarried men and the lack of dining room tables and living out of laundry baskets.”

The drive over had taken longer than you expected, he lives on the edge of the city, the houses given more space than what you’re used to from your apartment in the city. But it had given you the opportunity to partially acclimate to his overwhelming presence. All you had to do was not look at his face… easy.

“I did have a wife.” He hums in thought. “The art of furnishing a house isn’t lost on me… Anyway.. This one is you.” He flicks on the light as he enters the spacious room, moving until he gets to another door, turning that light on too, the cocky humor back on his face by the time he turns back to you with a playful glint in his eyes.

“You have your own bathroom… shower head’s detachable.” He tacks on, watching you empty your overnight bag, setting your night clothes out before you turn your phone back on and get it attached to a charger.

“That’s not- I wouldn’t-” A shocked squeak flies from your throat as your eyes widen in embarrassment.

“Your face is…” He howls in laughter. “Absolutely priceless. My room is down the hallway, last door on the right. In case you need me.”

“I-” His tone drips with innuendo, making the blush on your face deepen to a shade of crimson. So much for not thinking about him inappropriately.

“So innocent, sweetheart. You’d think you’re still a virgin.” You watch in mortification as your future father-in-law leans cockily against the door jam to your bathroom, your mouth opening and closing, urging something to come out, an explanation, a lie, anything. Just something to make him not make fun of you. “Oh my god… you are. Even when you’re engaged to my son?”

“He…” You wring your hands together, your voice barely above a mumble, looking down at your engagement ring in confusion, as if it could tell you the Toji’s lying to you. “He said he wanted to wait until w-we were married. That he’d wait…”

He never said that it would be his first time, you realize. As quickly as your embarrassment comes, it's replaced with a low, burning fit of rage that’s ready to lash out.

“Wait! You thought Megumi was a virgin?” He snickers meanly. “That’s fucking rich, hun. That ship sailed in fucking high school.”

You listen, shaking with the anger that’s boiling inside of you, as he describes Megumi’s relationship with a girl named Himari, how he walked in on them more than once.

Your mind starts to spin in circles, fueled by this rage that has nowhere to go. As insufferable as Toji is about this, you find your anger can’t be directed at him. It's Megumi that lied to you for the entire duration of your relationship, not his father.

As your mind circles, every insecurity that you’ve had about your relationship that you so easily dismissed before bubbles to the surface one by one. He’s always working or volunteering somewhere. The apartment has just become a place that he sometimes sleeps, if he ever makes it home because he travels around so often. He even said he didn’t like his father. Admittedly, you can see how they would clash, but was that it? Or did he just not want you to meet Toji so his cover wouldn’t be blown?

Toji approaches you, leaning into that delicious anger to purr in your ear. “I could show you what you’re missing, sweetheart…”

Your body doesn’t flinch as your eyes slide to meet his gaze directly for the first time. You nod ever so slightly in consent, your breath uneven from the anticipation that’s built in your core from when you first saw him.

“I’m going to need a little more than a nod, swe-” It’s the spite that pushes you to kiss him first. Spite that doing this will hurt Megumi has much as he hurt you, and spite that if you have to hear Toji call you sweetheart one more fucking time you’d explode.

The groan you swallow from Toji as he presses against you wipes any doubt from your mind as you press against his broad chest to push him to the guest bed and crawl up his body to grind yourself into the bulge in his pants, hungrily seeking out his lips again.

“Eager little virgin, aren’t we?” He growls as he yanks your head back by your hair, baring your neck to him so he can nip at it. The lack of marks there by his son is a further invitation to take you for himself.

“Ah-! Mr. Fushi-” A whimper escapes your mouth as he carelessly shoves a hand beneath the band of your leggings and panties and you squirm to pull away as his fingers immediately shove past your entrance to scissor you open.

“Uh uh. That’s enough of that shit.” He bites a harsh mark into the juncture of your neck, grinning when you cry out with a mixture of pain and pleasure, fat tears welling in your eyes and spilling over, your core spasming around his digits he continues to bully into you. “I’m not fucking stopping until your dripping, sweetheart. I’m going to have you crying that its too much and I’m not going to fucking stop. Even if you beg.”

It stings, the foreign feeling inside of you, but that feeling is quickly replaced by a rapidly approaching orgasm. You can take him, you think as you reach down between you to palm him through his sweatpants. You’re ready for anything he could give you.

Your efforts leave you breathless and end with you managing to work his pant’s down his legs as he rips your leggings from your body along with your panties.

“Fuck-” He growl as you take ahold of his length and line him up with your entrance as you hover above him. “You better slow down or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“You’re too cocky for your own- oh fuck-” You hiss as you allow the head of his cock to breach your entrance. The sting returns and flares into white hot heat at your core, making you double over into his chest as each inch rips its way into you. Your hips rock needily into him, trying with desperate circles to work yourself open.

By the third circle of your hips, Toji loses his patience. His hands reach out to grapple your hips, using his momentum to flip the two of you before he thrusts violently into you, fully seating himself before pulling from your heat to slam home again.

“Broken in now, aren’t you?” He growls, slamming into you a few more times before the sting completely abates, making sure you really feel what he’s taking from you. “Took what you wanted like a greedy fucking whore. Now shut the fuck up and be thankful I’m giving you my cock.”

He pulls out of you to manhandle you until your chest is laying against the covers, wasting no time before he’s hauling your hips back into where he kneels behind you, entering you roughly again and setting a punishing pace.

“You take me like a trained bitch.” He pants, grunting as his hips slap against yours, sending the vibrations straight to your clit as you sob into the duvet. “You lying about this being your first time?”

You don’t answer, your face planted into the covers from the angle he has you bent into. Toji growls in annoyance, gathering your arms behind you to pull you up against his chest before his free hand snakes around your front to deliver a harsh slap to your center, ripping a scream from you.

“Go on slut. Answer, daddy.” He slaps your clit again and you feel yourself gush around his length, pushed to the edge.

“M’not lying, Mr. Fushigur-” Another slap has you trembling, fresh tears pouring down your cheeks as you build impossibly higher. “D-Daddy- M’not you just f-feel s’good. I’ve b-been wet since you showed up.”

“Greedy little thing’s so ignored by Megumi you have to result to fucking his dad?” He coos down at you condescendingly, degrading you further. His voice takes on a cruel tone as he starts circling your clit. “How are you going to explain to your precious fiance that you’re carrying his brother?”

“W-What- n-no T-Toji you c- shit!” You cum suddenly around him, the image of you leaking his cum banging around your head until you're clamping so hard around him you’re pulling his orgasm from him. Shivers wrack your body as you feel the ropes of his cum pump into you and leak from where you’re connected.

The two of you breathe heavily, your panting filling the room as you come down from your highs. In your haze you don’t notice Toji video taping his cock pulling out of your cunt or the cum that gushed out in its wake before playfully slapping your ass and walking into the guest bathroom to get you a towel.

You slump against the covers, wincing as you reach for your phone when you see the screen go off with worried messages from Megumi about being near his father. Followed by numerous missed calls with the same message, pleading with you not to stay with him. That he’d rush home tonight to help you so you didn’t have to stay there.

You scowl at the message, sending off something that gets right to the point.

<Who’s Himari?>

You decline the immediate litany of frantic calls, fully shutting off your phone and shuffling out of bed to join Toji in the bathroom. Maybe the shower could be round two… and if not, you’d happily sneak into the master bedroom to make that a reality.

tag list: @sugarbooger513 @sugarmapoops @roughwithfluff @severelytalentless @yelzoldyck @silversslut @aazaard @dreamyyholland @wobblewobble822 @vantastic210@rafzaha @tirzamisu @chososhoney @littlemochi @bebechinas99 @firdaoz @saoney @meromelo @pelicanpizza @sukunassoulmate @damncakie @katgalle @honeyyjems [[if your blog name is crossed out i couldn't tag you]]

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hwanchaesong · 4 months

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━⁠☞🍽️ Third Course: Sweet sweet dreams are made either to be the motivation to success or the cause of a shattered heart that makes you bleed until you're blue. 🥢

🎧: Olivia Rodrigo - Driver's License

wc: 813

genre & warnings: angst, lovers to exes, fluff on the flashbacks, cursing, heartbreak, implied cheating, etc etc

a/n: this is a part of The Sour Restaurant series. if y'all want, you can read the other album inspired fics of other groups here.

"One day, we'll travel the world together and we'll stay with each other forever!"

You can't help but laugh mockingly at the memory now that you're driving around town in your newly bought car.

It was stupid, you think, but so are you when you chose not to eat at the local restaurant that you and Yunho frequently went to back when you two were still together.

You'd rather starve to death than be in places where his shadow looms over your sanity.

But come to think of it, even if he hasn't touched your vehicle, somehow, it still reminds you of him.

Who knew that trust and love, the two beautiful pillars of a relationship, could be so haunted and frightening once they were broken beyond repair.

"Y/N, stop crying over him." your friend, Karina, sighs in discontentment at your neverending drama over your ex.

She continues rubbing your back in a comforting manner, continuing her little motivational speech, "Believe me when I say that he's not worth it. There is someone out there that can love you as much as you love them."

"B-but.." you sniffle, knowing that she is right but you are in your in-denial stage, and you are unstoppable when it comes to delusions, "it's different. He's different!"

You chuckle at your foolish, younger self. Truly, he is different because he gave you a new kind of trauma that you'll probably carry for the rest of your life.

You stop at a red light, and an all too familiar sensation of dread and longing fills your body.

You remembered how you two would sing your hearts out to Ed Sheeran's love songs during your spontaneous late night drives. Gossiping on the trunk of his car while you eat take-outs. Laughing at the compulsory dad jokes competition when the traffic is so heavy you have no choice but to entertain yourselves. Writing your initials together on the dusty surface of his white car.

You shook your head, god, when are you gonna move on?

You can be in-denial all you want, but you can never deny the effect he has on you. Still, you have to strengthen yourself because you will inevitably see him in the reunion you're about to attend.

And that is not long for now because when you pull up and park in the hotel, a place where your former uni classmates decided to hold the reunion, the familiar white car flashes bright in your peripheral.

You exited the car and examined the building, not too shabby. As you were about to enter the hotel, a voice out of nowhere jumpscared you.

"You know how to drive now?"

You turn around, meeting the guy that you have been reminiscing about a while ago.

"I do," you smile, trying hard to hide your ascending bitterness, "got my license a few weeks ago."

He returns the smile, his eyes flicking awkwardly, "Congratulations.. and it's nice seeing you again, Y/N."

"You too, Yunho. How's life?" you asked, making small talk to be polite.

"It has been good so far." he answered, scratching the back of his neck, like he's contemplating something. Then, when he opens his mouth to speak, he halts when a girl clings to his arm.

The girl that easily replaced you. Oh, how much it repulses you to see them still together after what they have done.

Good to know that they are living guilt-free and happy, huh.

"Yunho! I'm done freshening up. Let's go." she says, her high-pitched voice annoys you. The cute way she's talking sounded forced and it almost made you cringe.

If Yunho was awkward before, he's now terrible. He struggles for a while, so you decided to help him out.

"Is she your girlfriend?" you inquired, the other female acknowledging your presence when Yunho nodded and introduced the two of you.

"Ah yeah. Y/N, this is Yeri, my partner. And Yeri, this is Y/N, my.." he trails off, and you grab his girlfriend's outstretched arms for a handshake.

"I'm his old friend." you smile, throwing a fleeting but knowing glance in Yunho's direction before bidding them a quick goodbye.

You don't think you'll last a few more seconds of alone time with them. It makes you feel like you're a ticking time bomb.

"Well then, I shall excuse myself and go. I'll see you two in there." you waved them a hand, hastily removing yourself in such a trifling scene, not giving them a chance to reply.

Not having the opportunity to catch Yunho's longing gaze on you.

Surely, you still love him, but you are tired of the bluish sentiments you're harboring. Maybe in another life, you'll be able to fulfill your promises to each other.

But for now, whenever you're in your car, imagining yourself driving back to him is more than enough for you.

taglist:

@acciocriativity @iarayara @stolasisyourparent @shakalakaboomboo @xdannix @nsixns @heartssol

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sunshineandspencer · 4 months

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Glorified Assistant (Iridescent, Part 2)

A/N: This is more for Maeve and Spencer!! And honestly I hate writing enemies to lovers, I believe in makeout on sight, so enjoy me trying to make a believable hatred.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!OC.

Summary: She’s been given paid leave to basically be Spencer’s assistant, and it almost isn’t worth it.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: swearing, spencer is an ass™

Parts: Pt1, Pt3

Let me stress, this is not Maeve from the show, but my own Maeve just named the same to send Spencer into hell whenever he thinks about it.

Here is more of Maeve and Spencer.

Maeve thought she was home and free.

She hadn’t been fired (score!), and now Spencer was going away for his mandated thirty days off. Apparently he was doing some teaching at the local college, good for him, it also means they won’t have to interact and hopefully he gets his head out of his ass so that she doesn’t cry when they work together.

They’d left on a particularly sore note, considering that she’d been the one to drive him home and he made it very clear how much he hated the entire interaction.

Of course, he didn’t say a word, struggling to fit into her little, gorgeous dark blue mini and then clenching white-knuckled to his knees for the entire journey. He, actually, didn’t say a thing until he got out of the car, slamming the door shut and turning to scowl at her.

“You’re a fucking maniac. Take some more damn lessons.”

As he stormed off into his apartment, annoyingly only five minutes from her own building, she grumbled under her breath. She’d only grazed maybe one curb, and that wasn’t even her fault, it jumped out at her.

Whatever, she’d been able to sleep easy knowing that she wouldn’t have to see him for several more weeks, giving her time to prepare.

…

Until she was woken by her phone ringing at 5am, answering it blindly because she’s used to work calling her at stupid hours. It was her boss.. however, she was asked to take thirty days of paid leave - which she’s surprised the Bureau can even afford - to be the one to take Spencer too and from the college and just kind of shepherd him around for whatever he needed.

Apparently his car, old and vintage as it was, had been idle for too long and wouldn’t start. Since Spencer can’t be bothered to sort it out, and Maeve lives closest, and she’s his partner, obviously this falls to her to deal with.

Maeve, forever a pushover and unable to say no to any figure of authority, agreed and practically threw her phone across the room when she was done.

Understandably, she didn’t get any more sleep, getting ready for the day with the only solace that he looks like an idiot in her car. Making them both a coffee and putting them into her reusable travel cups, trying not to listen to the little voice telling her to drive into a wall.

After about ten minutes of calling him and getting no answer, she gets out of her illegally parked car and storms up. Although it’s really hard to storm anywhere in an elevator.

Hammering on his door, it took all of two seconds before it flew open and he barged past her, causing her to scowl over at him.

“Damn! Watch it! What’s your problem today?”

He barely looked at her, locking the door behind her as he struggled with a bunch of papers in his hands. A harsh frown on his face that matched his equally-pissed voice.

“Fucking coffee machine broke.”

“I got you one already, Christ..” Sucking in a breath and following after him as he goes for the stairs, thankfully he only lives on the third floor. “What’s with the papers?”

Spencer went ahead of her on the stairs, and she found herself rushing after him and his stupidly long legs. Cursing him with all the colourful words that she knows on her way after him.

“Car insurance, I’m driving today.”

Insurance? He got insured on her car without telling her? All to avoid her driving. This man is a level of petty that teenage girls aspire to be, and she has to resist the urge to pout as she trailed out of the building after him.

“But why? My driving wasn’t--”

“Stop asking so many questions and get in your little clown car.”

Quietly fuming, she didn’t even thank him as he held open the passenger door for her, sliding into the seat and picking up her coffee. Drinking it and trying to squash the thoughts of throttling him.

As he gets into the driver seat and immediately starts rearranging everything, her mirrors, seat, radio, she wonders just how long it would take for someone to realise that he’s missing.

Before he even drove off, gripping the wheel far too hard for her liking, he spoke lowly and glared ahead. As if he was stopping himself from glaring at her.

“Don’t come up to my apartment again. I will come to you. I expect you to be ready by six thirty, and since you have a working machine, you can make the coffees.”

“.. just drive already.”

She’s going to kill him by the end of this.

Considering she got paid to leave to, essentially, be Spencer’s glorified assistant, she decided to make the most of it.

Plus, annoyingly, his lectures are actually pretty interesting - as much as she tried to stop giving a shit. Between running to get him more coffees, again assistant, and handing out things to the students, she gets to sit and just listen to him talk about whatever content he chooses.

Psychopaths, mainly, their brains and behaviours, which she enjoyed immensely when she studied psychology and criminology. Damn, but.. he’s really good to listen to.

By the third lecture of the day, she was sat at the desk to the side of the platform, usually reserved for teaching assistants, scribbling in a pretty lilac notebook she bought from the student store. Taking actual notes for his lecture, thoroughly enjoying the content of the lecture and not the fact that it’s Spencer.

Spencer had noticed, immediately, of course, and hated it.

He doesn’t know what she’s hoping to achieve, or prove, because it definitely isn’t impressing him, and he can’t fathom the idea that she’s doing the work to just do the work. Why would she, after he’s purposely been an ass to her purely for existing.

There’s no way she’s actually just paying attention.

So, to test her, for his own morbid curiosity and the need to try and embarrass her in front of all these people, he decided it would be fun to throw random questions to her. Not even related to the topic he was covering. To him, she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to handle stress well.

As he proposed hypothetical questions to the students, he turned to Maeve with a grin on his face, which she finds much more unnerving than a scowl. Hands clapping together as he brought all the attention onto her.

“And for my.. assistant.” Oh, yeah, she absolutely hates that, even more than his smug little grin. “What are the disadvantages of Mary Ainsworth’s study when examining infant attachment?”

Now it was time for her own smug little grin to settle on her lips, which he certainly didn’t like the implications of.

It was clear that he hadn’t expected her to know the answer, or even have enough of a knowledge base to even remotely know what he was talking about. Thankfully she had always been a pushover, and when her friends begged for her to sit in on their presentations in college, she learnt a lot. Especially the ones who presented developmental psychology.

Also, a few times she opted to speak in front of lectures purely because she felt bad for the lecturers when no one would volunteer, which meant she was quickly forced to grow out of her fear of public speaking. Leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms, getting comfortable.

“Mary Ainsworth was American. And she made an American based model, off American children and families, testing it solely in America. It cannot be generalised to other countries.”

“But-”

He tried to cut her off, but she wasn’t done yet. That wasn’t nearly enough to feel like she’d finally won something between them.

“And. When it was, by Kroonenberg and Ijzendoorn, it was proven to have terrible generalisation. Because other cultures and countries have very different ways of rearing children that don’t fit her American guidelines.”

Spencer looked like he wanted to vault the desk and strangle her, and if it weren’t for the crowd of whispering students, he probably would’ve done. Giving him a soft smile, which only he knew was completely fake, she picked her pen back up and tapped her notebook.

“If that’s all, Doctor Reid, I was enjoying your lecture on psychopathic brains.”

And as she looks back down, he has to force himself to continue lecturing to curb the rumours he can hear being created by suddenly-dejected female students. Trying not to sigh at the knowledge that people are going to think they’re sleeping together.

Throwing one last glare her way, not even needing his profiling to know that she so gets off on calling him ‘Doctor Reid’. The simultaneous irritation and begrudging admiration was making him dizzy, wanting nothing more to chuck something at her head.

Whatever, on the way home, he’ll take the longest route he knows to run her petrol down to nothing. Anything to get another mental tally on their growing rivalry.

Want more?! Good!

#spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x oc

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snowyquokka · 13 days

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ATTRACTING THE OPPOSITE - H. JISUNG

cw - mentions of alcohol, mentions of stabbing (jokingly), mentions of violence (I guess?), SHITTY WRITING, boxer jisung, fem reader, kinda fluffy ig, uhhhh I think that's it

wc - .8k

an - HAPPY HAN DAY !! I sincerly apologize for how absolutely awful this is but I wanted to try and get out of my writing comfort zone w this one. but, nonetheless, I FINALLY FINISHED SOMETHING who cheered !! I defo will be writing better stuff later on but this is just something quick I pulled together

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

In the bustling heart of a city that never quite slept, tucked between a neon-lit ramen shop and a vintage record store, there was a small, unassuming hole-in-the-wall bar called "District 9." It was a haven for misfits, loners, and those looking to escape reality, where the clatter of glasses mixed with the whispers of secrets being shared over half-filled mugs of craft beer.

On a rainy Thursday evening, it was more crowded than usual. You sat among the eclectic crowd leaned forward, your elbows resting on the bar. You had just finished complaining to the bartender about your shitty day at work when you were met with the gaze of a rather imposing figure.

Jisung was an amateur boxer, though tall and built like a brick wall, there was a softness to his edges, and he had a charm that paired well with his features. With a grin that could rival the sun, he sidled up to you, your attention still caught up in a rant about office politics.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice deep and inviting. “What’s the story you’ve got brewing?”

You glanced at him, sizing up the muscles that strained his fitted shirt. You offered a polite smile, your mind racing for an escape route. “Oh, just office horror stories,” you replied, waving a hand dismissively. “You know, the usual power struggles and egos clashing over the copier.”

“Sounds intense,” Jisung replied, undeterred. “Maybe I can help lighten the mood?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I doubt you’d be able to lighten anything when you look as if you could be an axe murderer- a very squishy, adorable, gentle axe murder.” The more you spoke the stupider you realized you sounded.

Jisung chuckled, amused. “You look like the kind of girl who’d call a man squishy just to bruise his ego,” he waves over the bartender once again, “Let me buy you a drink, yeah?”

A playful light flickered in your eyes as you leaned back, crossing your arms. “You’re not my type, I’m afraid. I prefer not to date people who could easily kill me with brute force while also looking like their cheeks are made of mochi.”

“Is that on principle or just preference?” he asked, tilting his head with curiosity.

“Both, I suppose,” you answered, digging deeper. “It’s only logical. I might be a sucker for some tragic romance, but I’d prefer to be stabbed than have someone crush me with their fists. So, if you'd happen to know anyone…?”

Jisung gaped, half-laughing, half-wondering if you were serious. “Stabbed? That’s quite extreme, don’t you think?”

“Well, it’s more romantic than being pulverized,” you shrug with a sigh. “But in all honesty, I like my partners a little more… fragile, if you will.”

“Fragile, huh?” he mused aloud, scratching his chin as a playful grin danced on his lips. “I do know a guy. A buddy of mine who bakes and is about as threatening as a baby chick.”

You leaned in, entranced by the absurdity of your exchange. “Now you’re speaking my language. But if he’s too timid, I might just accidentally scare him away.”

“Then we’ll make sure you get the recipe,” Jisung said, laughing openly now.

As the night unfolded, you exchanged stories—Jisung revealing a softer side veiled beneath his muscles and you allowed him to peel away the layers of your tough exterior. You bonded over your shared taste in obscure films and the best local pizza joints, while the rain drummed rhythmically against the bar’s window.

Eventually, the bar began to empty, the crowd thinning as couples began to drift toward the door. Jisung glanced at his watch, a frown creeping onto his face. “I should probably head out.”

You felt a pang of disappointment, surprising even yourself. “Yeah, me too. It’s getting late.”

As you two stood to leave, Jisung paused, a serious look crossing his face. “Look, uhm, I know you’ve got your preferences, but would you consider going for coffee sometime? I promise I won’t pulverize you or whatever.”

You considered him for a moment, the shadows of the bar catching the profile of his strong jaw and the kind eyes that felt atypical for someone his size. “You know what? Coffee sounds great. But only if we meet at a café and not a dark alley.”

He laughed. “Deal.”

As you stepped out into the cool night air, you glanced back at the rundown bar, a smile creeping onto your face. Perhaps it was time to reconsider your so-called principles—after all, sometimes opposites really do attract, even if one was a little more likely to throw a punch.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

tags: @skzstarnet @azunaar @seungseung-minmin @myseungsunglove @solisyeah @miss-daisy04 @bubbly-moon @kaiyaba

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fictarian · 1 year

Note

Could i request Hobie w/ reader who struggles with expressing their emotions?🫶

𝐇𝐢𝐦 <𝟑 . ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ 𝐏𝐭. 𝟖

ღ I’m not gonna lie, I had such a hard time thinking of how I would portray the reader since there are multiple reasons as to why someone would struggle with expressing themselves, but I ultimately decided on making the reader reclusive, quiet, and VERY awkward. Shout out to my introverted and socially awkward followers, we’re in the same sinking boat 🔥

ღ This kind of strayed from the original request so that’s MY BAD (me when ADHD)

ღ Also, here’s the update on the votes for the next series— It’s currently tied between Miles (both 1610 and 42) and Pavitr Prabhakar, BUT, Spider Noir is currently in the lead. The voting ends when I post part 10 of ‘Him’, and that’s when I’ll choose the winner. So if you haven’t already, go ahead and vote here

ღ Good lord i’m running out of banners, maybe this is my sign to do another profile theme change

ღ Pervious part can be found here !

• It’s a mystery to everyone as to how you and Hobie started dating, given that you both are polar opposites. And to be honest, you have no idea how you managed to bag him either LMFAO.

• You probably met him at the local record store while you were browsing through some of your favorite albums when Hobie suddenly came up to you, asking if you knew where a certain artist was. You didn’t respond to his question for a good couple of minutes, since you were still trying to comprehend the fact that a fine ass, 6’3, punk lover was actually talking to you and you weren’t dreaming.

• When you did respond, your answer came out in a jumble of loud incoherent words (y/n ahh 😭). Of course he didn’t understand what you were saying, so you repeated yourself MUCH quieter, and that didn’t help at all.

• In the end, you just pointed to where the albums Hobie wanted were located before hastily turning around while cursing yourself for fumbling so badly.

• I like to think that Hobie often hangs out with loud and extroverted people, so seeing someone that was the complete opposite of that was refreshing for him (no matter how awkward the situation was). And honestly, Hobie found it cute that he made you react like that from just him talking to you.

• So when you were at the counter paying for your albums, best believe that Hobie came up and payed for your shit as a way to engage in conversation. You did NOT know how to react to that, especially when Hobie only winked and slid you the receipt. He turned it over, which revealed a collection of numbers in messy hand writing.

• “Go head and add my number f’me, love” Your jaw dropped, causing Hobie to chuckle before he pushed himself off the counter waving goodbye to you before exiting the store.

• It took you awhile to actually message him, since you had no clue what to say. But talking to him on phone was much easier in your book, since you didn’t have to rely on your voice much and the thoughts that usually ran through your head in public were slowed.

• You started out with a simple hey and a thank you, and the conversation started from there. Since it was over text, you became a lot more at ease and relaxed while talking with Hobie. However, some (if not all) of the texts he sent made you giggle and kick your feet like a school girl 💀.

• At one point Hobie began flirting and soon, you became daring enough to flirt back.

• ‘Daring now, aren’t we? I bet you wouldn’t say all of this face to face ;)’ ‘Watch me’

• You eat those words when you two set up a place to meet up, and Hobie starts teasing you about the texts you sent NONSTOP. His teasing only makes you act worse and public, and somehow increases your stuttering x10.

• And even when he isn’t teasing you, every single thing Hobie says still makes you trip. For example, when you’re talking, and then he asks you in his deep and gritty voice ‘Speak up f’me, love. I can barley ‘ere a word that comes outta yer pretty mouth’

• 🧍

• Despite your differences and how easily it was for Hobie to make your brain rot, you two grew quite close over a short period of time.

• He’d always push you to do more things and meet more people, and even if it doesn’t work out, Hobie would always praise you for trying and getting out of your comfort zone.

• Hobie would he very supportive and patient with you, since he knows how difficult it is for you to properly get your words out. But even then, he still LOVES teasing you and seeing just how easily he effects you.

• Overall, Hobie would be your #1 hypeman and biggest supporter while also managing to be the reason of your demise

tag list ! @zalayni @luvstarrstruck @jrrantss @pixqlsin @kairiscorner @k4tsu3 @asmobeuses @maxoloqy @miirene

#across the spiderverse #atsv #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #hobie x reader #spider punk x reader #atsv headcanons #headcannons

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pro-mammonologist · 1 year

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Demons Are a Girls Best Friend

A fun vacation to the mountains! The brothers are fascinated by the human world and even more fascinated by the human world’s interpretation of them. After exploring a local church, Asmodeus learns of Mc’s relationship with the church as well as igniting an interesting fantasy of theirs.

Note: inspired by the song Demons Are a Girl’s Best Friend by Powerwolf, if you’re okay with a little bit of metal, you’ll love this and want it in your obey me playlist

This chapter is the start of the NSFW, it’s essentially the planning process, the setup, and the very start of the adventures. There’s mentions of impact play, bondage, and sacrilegious fantasy. I imagine if you’re reading fanfic on tumblr you’re not afraid of a lil kink. And you aren’t afraid of sacrilege if you’re into Obey Me. ALSO, I really try to have MC discuss the role play itself because I think it’s important people have a good idea of how these bdsm scenes work even if it’s not perfect. Sorry if it’s moving slowly to your taste, I wanted to explore Mc’s emotions as well as the brothers. I think the intimacy here will really amp up in preparation for the actual scene itself! Enjoy!

GN!Mc with a coochie x All brothers

@ikevampharem

Part 1

Chapter 2: “they wanna make you bend and scream”

Now faced with all 7 brothers eager to try out your fantasy, you scrambled over what you wanted to happen. And how. And where…

“So are we gonna dress as priests?” Belphie looked toward Mammon hoping he’d suggest stealing some priests garb.

“Don’t look at me! I feel like stealing from a church is a bad idea!” Mammon answered, confused as to why Belphie asked him not you.

“Well,” Asmo now had pen and paper in his hand, “we could use magic!”

“What are you writing for?” Beel questioned peeping around the table you all sat at.

“So we know what we’re gonna do to our lovely Mc!” He clicked the pen and looked to you. “So, it’s a bit of daddy I’ve been naughty sorta situation! Do you wanna confess your sins to us all?” Asmo’s eyes were twinkling.

“Um… confession usually has one priest present so I figured it’d be a different setting.” You sat at the head of the table, fiddling with the fabric of your shirt.

Lucifer sat on the edge of the table, directly to your left, refusing to sit in a chair for some reason. “Hm, to be honest, playing priests sounds fun but what if we were demons pretending to be priests? Im not exactly too sure if we could all maintain a holy facade. Those days are long gone, don’t we all agree?” Lucifer looked around and Satan was the first to agree.

“I never even had any holy days, so I agree. Plus it only adds more fun to the fantasy don’t you think?” Satan pulled the paper from Asmo and grabbed a pen for himself. “Here, I suggest we set everything up for Mc within their limits and we plan the scene ourselves.”

“I trust you guys to come up with something good for me by now.” You nodded, somewhat thankful all the planning wasn’t up to you. “I can list the parameters though.” You were also thankful that you didn’t have to confess exactly what you wanted to them, your embarrassment would be overwhelming.

Levi put his hand down on the table. “Listen, I have an idea!” He scrambled for the paper. “So let’s say Mc is lost and they find us here and we will use magic to make one of the rooms look like a church right… and then while Mc is praying to themselves out loud for forgiveness, we come in and—“ he abruptly stopped when Beel spoke up.

“If we say everything that ruins the fun right? We need to hear what Mc isn’t up for and what they are up for, right?” Beel looked to you, innocent per usual.

Your thoughts were swarming and you struggled to find out what you should say. “I’m thinking—well—I imagine that I’d be punished for all the stuff you have done to me, right?” You had a thought, a dirty one, but you were hoping for someone to read your mind.

“Go on.” Lucifer encouraged you, knowing you’re feeling a bit shy.

Dammit. “Well, then I guess everything we’ve done is on the table. At least what we can access.” You avoided saying exactly what you wanted causing Lucifer to sign through his nose.

“Everything?” Mammon repeated, leaning back. “To be fair, when we all do it with you, you do have the same limits. Just no actual harm. A lil pain here and there, no tickling, no blood, and only tears from pleasure. Amiright?”

“I’m told the same thing.” Lucifer concurred. “Those are your limits correct? Nothing beyond typical bedroom bdsm.”

“Sounds about right!” Asmo cocked his head and pulled the paper back while no one was looking. “So how about we 7 devise a plan and you, our lovely Mc, gets to prepare!”

“Well, for one, those are my limits, and for two, Asmo you can’t decide for me!” You were mildly irritated at him rushing but you did enjoy his enthusiasm. “Basically, I’m down with restraints, a little impact but let’s keep it down to just our physical person. I’m already about to get fucked by all 7 of you I don’t need that much overstimulation. Speaking of which, I’m down for multiple orgasms but overstimulation might not be it for right now especially since I imagine you’re all in the mood to go all out.”

Asmo furiously wrote, trying to keep up with each word. “Is edging on the table?”

You smiled and Levi scoffed. “If Lucifer is involved it’s probably always on the table.”

“I’m not that awful that I always edge them.” Lucifer looked offended by Levi’s comment but you ignored their little comments.

“Yes but… remain in control of yourselves I don’t wish to pass out before I even get to cum once.” You emphasized and Asmo underlined don’t go crazy on the paper. After he looked back to you thought a bit more. “Let’s use the light system too.”

Satan nodded. “We might need a nonverbal as well. And I think it’s better to use the light system for something like this, but if you do yellow, you need to inform us what to stop and what to continue.”

You thought for a moment. “If that’s the case, let’s say if my mouth is full then my hands need to free and vice versa. I’ll snap twice.“ You watched Asmo write again. “If you don’t hear or see the snaps, ima kick. No matter which one of you it is.” You were in-between joking and seriousness.

“Careful, Mammon and Levi might like it.” Belphie cackled.

“Hey! Don’t go lumpin’ me in with Levi! That guy probably likes to be waterboarded!” Mammon retorted making you grin.

“Water boarding? That’s more like Barbatos! I bet that guy will do anything! Plus… water boarding wouldn’t even work on me!” Levi snapped back and he shook his head at Mammon. “Mammon probably has a findom fetish!”

“Excuse me??? Why would I give my money to someone for just a boner!”

“Well you spend all your money on Mc!”

“That’s different! I’m spending it on gifts for them! Not begging for them to take my money!”

Levi and Mammon continued their back and forth until Lucifer pinched both of them. “Hush. You can squabble about your concerning fetishes later.” Lucifer turned the attention back to you. “So, let’s say you’re sucking me off, you wouldn’t want to be bound? Am I understanding you correctly…?”

You blinked twice, trying to see what he’s getting at. “Oh! Um, I guess if I’m snapping then my hands could be bound.”

“Hm, good to know that’s something you’d consider and I wasn’t hinting at me questioning your safety, Mc.” He smirked, a sadistic twinkle in his eyes. “I just wanted to make sure we heard you correctly. The more detail the better, right?”

You fought the heat rising in your body. “Well I don’t even know what you’re hinting at either.”

“Who says that I’m hinting at anything?”

“You just implied that you were hinting at something.”

“Then what do you think I’m hinting at?” Lucifer crossed his arms, still smirking.

“Something nasty for sure, you wouldn’t be making that face otherwise.” You tried to challenge him, pretending as though you aren’t flustered. “Why don’t you tell me what you plan to get out of this?”

Lucifer snorted. “I plan to have fun, relieve some stress. Perhaps tire them out as well.” He motioned to his brothers.

You couldn’t help but grin. “That’ll take some trouble off your plate, huh?”

“HELLLOOOO! We’re here too!!!!” Mammon shouted. “Stop talkin’ bout us right in front of us!” Mammon moved to the front of the table and nestled himself between you and Lucifer. “And don’t go picking favorites when we get down and dirty!”

Lucifer groaned as Mammon moved between you two. “Is your presence necessary?”

You giggled at his comment and looked at all of them sternly. “Also, when it starts, I don’t want any arguing! We can fight afterwards.”

“Hey, my favorite, aftercare. Ya know sometimes it’s more fun than the actual thing itself. But it’s probably gonna be annoying since it’s not just you and me.” Mammon smiled at you and his brothers spoke up in protest.

“Who said it’d be fun with you anyways?” Satan was the first to talk back. “Mc, you don’t have to include him.”

“Hey! No bullying Mammon either.” You gave him the irritated-mom-stare.

“Shame.”

Asmo cleared his throat and pulled everyone back to the scene. “Aftercare indeed. Bath, warm clothes, lotion, cuddles, water, snacks, cakes?” He listed off his suggestions and Beel’s ears perked up at cakes. “Anything in particular??”

You leaned toward him, away from Mammon and Lucifer. “I’m gonna be sweaty as hell probably. I’m gonna need a cold shower. I think a bath might overwhelm me. Water is important. Maybe some tea and yes, we should have dessert after the fucking. I’m assuming we will be eating dinner beforehand. And cuddles are always on the table but uh… we need to wait until I’m done for me to decide who I wanna cuddle.”

“Ooooh! That reminds me, I am hungry! And while we are out for dinner, we can get supplies so we don’t waste our magic!” Asmo stood up and it’s as though everyone suddenly realized their own hunger.

“I am starving.” You stood and Lucifer looped an arm around your waist to pull you into him.

“Mc. I’ll have you know,” he whispered, “this fantasy of yours is something I plan to play out perfectly. Us demons, we love to play, something like this just strikes me so perfectly. You need to realize that you can’t be shy later.” Your back was pressed to his chest and his lips just grazed over your ear.

“I won’t be.” Was all you answered.

——————————————————————————

When you all finished your dinner, you split up into groups to find supplies for your trip and your fantasy. You walked alongside Mammon and Satan searching for things to do while vacationing while Beel, Belphie, and Levi searched for supplies for your night. Lucifer and Asmo returned to your loft to plan the night ahead.

“What made you come along Satan? I figured you’d want to be with Levi’s party.” You asked, sitting next to him while seated on the metro.

“Truth be told, while I’m fine with helping to plan for the trip, I wanted to have you alone so we could talk about what you really wanted to do.” He answered honestly.

Mammon leaned forward. “While they ain’t alone. And why do you get special treatment?”

“I don’t. Even if you’re here Mammon, they’d be more willing to admit their fantasies considering they slept with you first. So… if you’re here, I figured they’d talk to you about it more.”

You nodded. “I guess that makes sense. But to be honest, I’ve already said the most embarrassing part.” You glanced away and focused on Mammon’s hand on your knee.

“I don’t think so.” He disagreed. “You’re clearly biting your tongue.” He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “I won’t press you too much if you’re truly feeling too embarrassed but I still want to know more.”

Mammon was oddly silent, his own thoughts swirling. “Ya know, Mc, I bet I got a good guess.”

You swallowed. “Okay…”

“It’s not the getting fucked by priests thing is it? It’s the demons pretending to be priests, amiright? That’s why you suggested it, right Satan?” He kept his eyes on you while your heartbeat moved faster.

“Correct. You see, Mc, I’m trying to get you to admit something in particular. If Mammon has figured it out then I’m sure the rest have the same assumption that I do.”

Mammon stepped on Satan’s foot in retaliation to his comment. “You got a demon kink, dontcha?”

He hit right in the balls. You weren’t escaping this one. “Yeah.” Neither of their expressions changed and you sunk back into the seat. “Is that it?”

“Yup, that’s it.” Satan crossed his legs again and relaxed into his seat following suit. Mammon did the same.

“Damn, all that tension just for a yeah.” Mammon teased, clicking his tongue. “Figured after a while you wouldn’t be scared to admit that ya like demons to the demons you’re fuckin’.”

“Shush.” You elbowed him. “Ima get your ass someday.”

Satan tried to bite back a smile. “I’d be happy to help get him back. I’m sure I have something that didn’t work on Lucifer but would work on him.” Satan shot Mammon a mischievous look.

“Haha funny. Laugh laugh laugh.” Mammon squished your cheeks out of nowhere and you jumped.

“Mams!” You protested.

After you all exited the train, you went into a small bakery to choose your desired items for post-coitus. You eyed the treats. Cupcakes, cakes, cookies, pastries, everything you could want. You saw at the top of the counter a crucifix and your eyes fixated on it, thinking of what you planned to do later.

Mammon started choosing items, asking for the tray of blueberry muffins and asking Satan who is paying for all of this. You suggested getting the cupcakes on the top of the shelf and told Satan to place the order.

“Mc.” Mammon scurried over to you. “We should get that tea over there too.”

You looked to what he was talking about. “Why?”

“Cuz it has a soothing effect. I don’t want you to be in pain afterwards. I know you prolly want a lil but—“

“But what?”

“I can tell that Lucifer, Satan, and Levi are crazy excited for this. I am too, but, you got the two sadists out here foaming at the mouth. And you admitted you got a demon kink.” Mammon reached for the tea and put it in the pile. “I just know Satan is gonna abuse the hell out of that shit… I mean… I would too but, only when we’re alone.”

You knew he was right, you also had a feeling Satan had been waiting for something like this. You realized that’s also what Lucifer wanted you to admit earlier. That you had a kink. For demons. For them.

“Yeah, you’re right. We should find something for me to wear too. I wanna fit the theme of, as Asmo would say, lost little lamb.”

Satan returned to your party, bags of treats in hand. “There’s a small boutique there. I’m sure it has something in there that looks innocent.” His eyes were glassy, something that usually happened when he was enraged or insurmountably horny. “Surprise us. Me and Mammon will search for any… enhancements we can make.”

“Whaddya mean me and you? Leavin’ them alone? Nuh uh.” Mammon tried to go with you but Satan grabbed his arm.

“Asmo and Lucifer are sending the plan to us. We need to make adjustments. Come on, don’t you want this to be perfect.” He convinced Mammon and handed you Lucifer’s card. “We will stay here.”

You nodded and went inside the boutique. You mostly saw tourists clothing but as you moved further back, you found more conservative clothing. You wanted to look sexy but also innocent and it’s a struggle to combine those two things. You knew whatever you wore needed to be white and likely needed to be a dress. Or something that had easy access.

Moving aside you settled on a frilly little white sundress, something that an innocent church girl would wear for sure. It hid everything but there was appeal in the sheerness of the sleeves and how it was practically see through. You went to try it on, admiring how it hung on your body. You also grabbed a pair of white thigh highs, knowing they’d love the touch. The real question was what underwear to wear. You had to move closer to the back where they kept the intimates. Should you even wear a bra or just wear undies? The bra is kinda useless you decided. And, in contrast to the rest of the white outfit, you picked out a pair of cheeky black panties with a small bow at the top, desperately trying to be innocent. It was cute, something to tease them with.

When you went to check out, the clerk eyed you weirdly but you played it off to the best of your ability and joined back up with your boys. “I’m done!”

“Good. They’re almost done setting up, let’s head back.” Satan put his phone in his pocket. Satan and Mammon were both smiling innocently, looking at you with slightly raised brows.

“So? You ready?” Mammon grabbed your free hand.

“Yeah.”

————————————————————————

The group was cooking or preparing a room for the event by the time you got home. Lucifer welcomed you back and immediately ordered you to assist with cooking, for Satan to set the table, and for Mammon to help the others with setting up the room.

You joined with Belphie and Beel in the kitchen and helped with the steaks Beel was so diligently trying not to eat. Belphie was dealing with the side dishes combining vegetables together and wondering why it all looked so weird, to which you looked at him like he was crazy.

“They’re miniature trees.”

“They’re called broccoli.”

“This one looks like a carrot.”

“That is a carrot.”

“Weird…”

“They’re the same in the Devildom!!!!”

Beel was sneaking small pieces of carrot and eating them to his hearts content but he desperately wanted the meat. The sauce part was awful especially since Belphie just didn’t follow directions and Beel drooled too much into the first batch causing Satan to join and let Beel help with the rest of the bunch.

“Seasoning is very important in the human world. Much of the Devildom’s food has more flavor.” You told him. “So you need to put a lot more. And you really need more than just those three. Since Beel didn’t put enough in the marinade, we’re gonna have to hammer in with the sauce.”

“Is that why all the human world food we have in the Devildom sucks?” Belphie asked after almost falling asleep with a knife in his hand.

“Yeah, cuz y’all can’t follow directions clearly.” You ended up doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to cooking, which is unusual considering there isn’t that big of a difference in cooking human food or demon food.

“You’re moving fast, are you excited for tonight?” Lucifer entered and sat at the bar next to the kitchen. “I got some interesting information from Satan earlier.”

Ah, of course he told. “I bet you did.”

“How long until it’s done?” He pondered as you removed the steaks from the pan.

“We are done.” You hurried last Lucifer and called to the brothers trying to avoid his teasing he was bound to unleash upon you should you give him the opportunity. “Come on!!! Get your plates and line up!!!!”

As the other three joined, Asmo wiped sweat from his face and jumped up to you. “Everything is finished and it’s perfect ugh I’m so ready!!!!!!”

You smiled at him softly and he huffed. “What?”

“You can admit it too, you know. No one is going to judge you, Mc.” He cupped your face and pouted.

“I just know y’all are gonna eat me alive if I do admit it, so ima stay quiet.” You responded and pulled his hands down. “Don’t try to pull it out of me.”

“I’m not pulling out don’t worry!” He hopped around to the back of the line and pretended he didn’t imply anything and you served the food.

Dinner was unusually quiet, everyone was eating, likely desperate to wolf down the food and let it settle so they could begin. You were actually pretty nervous now that the time was near, it was mildly uncomfortable and you were the only one taking your time to eat.

“Mc.” Mammon whispered beside you. “What’s wrong? The foods really good.”

You looked down, pushing a carrot around in the sauce. “It’s nothing really.”

“Are ya nervous?” He rubbed your thigh and waited for your answer.

“Yeah. It’s something I’ve always thought about but never thought I’d do.” You answered, knowing they could hear you too but avoiding their presence.

“Don’t worry, if you need us to stop, we can. Does the fantasy bother you?” He reassured you. “We’re demons, not evil.”

“Um… well. No, it’s more or less. A little weird and I’m kinda ashamed of it. I was really surprised when you guys brought it up and you all decided to go along with it.” You heard shifting beside you.

“Mc, it isn’t all that weird at all.” Levi pulled out his phone. “Look, humans are into it everywhere. And ya know us demons tend to have corruption kinks. We like seeing people acknowledge your dark side. That’s how we planned it out actually!”

“We promise it’ll be fun.” Asmo put his fork down. “I wouldn’t want to to be a weird forceful type of situation. And even though we wanted to surprise you, if you want to see the plans and scripts and stuff I think no one would be opposed to showing you.” He ran off to get the papers.

“Yes I agree. I was concerned it might be too much for you, now that you’re having doubts I think it’d be wise to read it.” Lucifer began to gather plates at the table. “If you want us to stop or even not do it, we can return everything and undo the magic. No one will be upset at you.”

You shifted and looked at him. “I don’t want to stop it, but I am nervous. I appreciate you letting me do this.”

Asmo handed you the notes they wrote. “Here, tell me if I need to change anything.”

You grabbed them and looked through them. Each brother had written something or contributed, you could tell. There was a detailed description of the scene and how you wanted it as well as things you enjoyed from previous sessions with the brothers. They even had a list of words to call you and not to call you, as well as some biblical research. They had a timeline as well and open-ended portions that you would likely decide on mid scene. It was also written entirely in glitter pen.

Nothing was off, nothing was harsh, nothing no consensual and nothing dubious, just demons playing pretend. And when Mammon said that it was gonna be making you drop your innocent act, that’s exactly what it was. Everything was you centered, your pleasure. To be honest, it almost made you emotional seeing their attention to detail.

“I’m actually impressed.” You said. “I’m really surprised that you managed to make that whole secretly demon thing not how can I say it…”

“Non-consensual?” Satan spoke aloud. “Yes, I wanted it to be completely in your hands. I even suggested we write a script where we weren’t demons at all. Beel helped really flesh out the reveal part.”

“Beel, really?”

“Yeah.” He said, reaching to point at a certain part. “This is where I started. I can’t do anything that might hurt you whether fake or real. And I just didn’t want to pass any limits or make any of us harm you.” The brothers all agreed and looked to you.

Mammon wiggled your leg. “Soooo, we all on now? You feel better?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Still wanna do it?”

“Yeah, I’m more excited now.”

“Heheh. Good.”

Lucifer nodded. “Just know, you should never worry about communicating this to us. We would never hurt you. At least, not actual harm. Should we ever pass a single limit or even draw near it, I expect you to stop us and I expect you to be honest. Since your our sub tonight your safety is top priority. Even out of the scene, you’re our top priority.”

Man, you could cry. “Thank you.” You uttered out, feeling your throat hitch. “And if you feel uncomfortable I want you guys to stop too.”

“My Mc, you need to be able to first. I don’t want to continue unless you’re fully honest. 100%. Tell me, do you consent to me and my brothers engaging in this scene with you?”

You sat for a moment and nodded.

“I need an answer, not just a nonverbal. I think we all do.”

“Yes. I consent to this scene.” Once the words were out, a weight lifted from your shoulders. Your nervousness practically faded.

“Good. So, let’s clean. And then, we will begin once you’re ready.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #Lucifer x mc #mammon x mc #leviathan x mc #Satan x mc #asmo x mc #beel x mc #Belphie x mc

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shatterthefragments · 2 months

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FUCK I AAID ID TRY TO TAKE MY BREAK TOMORROW EARLIER SO I COULD ATTEND A zoom COMMITTEE MEETINH 😭

I could use the extra money (especially with at least one more concert… at least one is potentially local and I can just drive there) but I also semi rely on that mid workday tumblr scrolling to get me through it rn. (Guess we’ll see if I can even leave when I want. It was an hour later than I wanted today)

Like the two girls who work sometimes together there. Like. It’s been at least a month or so now I think. Probably 3 months bc of the training benchmark thing that they had to do today instead of working. Straight up if I didn’t have a second person in I would’ve fully just broken down today. But uh. They still fully need to do a full day to shadow a clerk and then a full day where they’re supervised. I am not trained as a clerk. I am serving as their knowledge to do their jobs. I used to feel ambivalent towards my birth name but I hate it right now. The “xx” before I need to leave everything and go help them. Just fills me with dread.

And I’m okay with a bit of a language barrier -they can still communicate. But they shouldn’t necessarily need to ask me everything still. I am positive they can check a deck for a box labeled “waffles” without me needing to hold their hand through it. And they shouldn’t need me to Leave My Task to come help them ESPECIALLY when I’m with someone else (the customer complained about me :P and the store manager let me know after he left. Anyway if I have to do the “add it to the list of things to do for sure” that I’m writing in OT and that he said I should do it before I leave bc fuck even today I ended up staying late)

ALSO fuck customers who only want stuff fresh from this very day or fresh from the freezer and DONT PUT A SPECIAL ORDER IN and just request it whenever they come in. Every time. (Sometimes. The answer is no. I don’t have it cut up and available)

Would it help if I cried in front of you when I tell you that I don’t have any available right now?

Torn between catharsis and FUCK if I’m going to cry (at least mostly) because of work then I should at least be paid for it.

…I haven’t cried at (this) work since the last time I was yelled at by a coworker. (All previous times crying at this workplace were because she yelled at me) (I was almost crying. I almost went into the Cooler to have a cry)

Not to make light of it all but I’m like. One more bad Monday with those two away from a hospital stay. (I can’t bc the hospitals here are famously bad for mental health) (I have an appt and a meeting after next week’s Monday)

But like. Can’t sully any of my crafting and leather knives. (They’re very nice and I want to collect more - prettier too would be nice) but seeing the knives at work and knowing they’re freshly sharpened. It’s just. WILL YOU HEAR ME NOW?! I am screaming. I admitted OUT LOUD that I am struggling on Mondays right now. Can’t have any more wounds to heal. I have to keep my skin unbroken so I can get more tattoos. It’ll be so much harder to stop if I start. Bc the URGENCY in the urge is so fucking strong. It didn’t help when I did last but maybe it would now hit I can’t I can’t I can’t

And I’ll be really sad if what I suspect are a TON of new moles (…or maybe freckles??) are cancerous 1) I hate checking them I can’t remember and I don’t have the organization to photograph and monitor each one 2) I’d have to get the tattoos I booked somewhere else and I’m not sure if I’d go for my upper left arm or my upper front thigh area. (If you’re actually reading this I am taking input on this in case) 3) I don’t want cancer, and it would break my parents’ hearts 4) I don’t want to die (despite the Desperation telling me I do)

Im splintering. Im fragmented. And I KNOW that a large part of it is how tired and exhausted I’ve been. I AM going to bed relatively soon.

I want to get high and forget

Weed’s legal it’s probably fine

(Im still paranoid it’ll cause a psychotic break and I’m already so frequently disconnected dissociated and in such a state of unreality it’s terrifying to me. Because when they taught us about psychosis I related very heavily to a lot of it and I’m scared to admit it. I think I’m okay. It would’ve been a lot to be 15+ years deep so far and nobody noticing nobody being concerned I think I’m okay I just need to get back on the ocean. It will heal me.)

I want to not be in pain

I want to externalize some of it

I want SOME FUCKING HELP. (If I just ask I could. Allegedly. Get a referral and coverage for some therapy) but I’m okay I always am. I’ve survived 100% of my worst days and all that :P but uh. A clerk to help those two ACTUALLY FUCKING LEARN (as if they’d listen) would be Huge.

(But if I were to do edibles with a friend I trust her. I trust she’d know what to do.)

Fuck I don’t even feel like sadsturbating. I mean (I don’t like to use lube so) I already sorta went too long the other day(s) and bled a little so I shouldn’t anyway.

1000% down for someone to knead my ass until it bruises while we snuggle though.

…I just ran my retainer cleaner without my retainer inside of it… and then forgot to put it in. It’s in now. I flossed while it actually got cleaned. Which is good. But fuuuck.

“Diagnosed with a sinus infection” with Covid symptoms… I don’t want her to come back to work tomorrow (I would rather be down a person),,,

#vent #work #shattered fragments #I need a third space that I don’t have to spend time money or energy on #because crawling into my friend’s’ hearts isn’t quite working out #Im fueled by spite and shame and Obligation and being Beholden to things and I need to find something else #whining #tw #suicide implications #self harm mention #tmi I guess #Im just. I’m going to meander over to bed. I’ve packed for tomorrow anyway. I just need socks and a clean shirt

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talkin-tdc · 5 days

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Gelfling come to earth AU

AU where the gelfling are transported to earth and find humans who want to protect them.

-I see Rian and Ordon ending up with a young pompous lawyer (think edgeworth from ace attorney) who only lets them live with him since he knows he wouldn’t want to be left stranded in an alien planet without help but hates them at first. He thinks Rian is reckless and that Ordon adapted poorly to change, but after getting to know them he grew more fond of them and enjoyed the excitement he otherwise wouldn’t experience since he lived alone.

-Mayrin and Seladon were found by a hippie artist (think the van from cars kinda hippie) living off of her parents wealth. She actually loved dark crystal and were worried the government would do something bad to them, so took them in. She teaches Mayrin and Seladon to mellow out a bit and have a stronger bond as she can relate to having a bad bond with parents (her parents gave her things and pressure not affection). In turn, she’s inspired by Mayrin and Seladon to take control of her life and become independent of her parents money by opening up her own art shop.

-Tavra and Brea are found by a local farmer family (best comparison would be apple family from my little pony) and they start getting to work around the farm to earn their keep and after getting to know them, the farmers offer them a place to stay. They learn about farm life and the family learns about Thra as well as how to be more organized as the farm was doing bad for a few seasons due to poor management. Brea and Tavera learn about earth, and Brea in particular is intrigued with their political sphere and how different it is from Thra.

-Naia and Kylan are found by a struggling actor (any male actor you like will do but I prefer thinking of it like a young Daveed Diggs) . He works at a local coffee shop and lives upstairs barely being able to pay the rent and food (don’t ask about his student loans…). From them, he learns to be more persistent and still follow his passion. Naia learns to forgive herself from her past mistakes and that they don’t define her (she messed up a spell that was supposed to be her coronation into being Maudra so feels guilty like actor does for his loans and not being able to pay). Eventually, Kylan teaches the actor some gelfling songs and actor decides to put it online.

-Well the song gets massively popular because of its sound, it resonating with people, and no one being able to translate the lyrics. Actor guy gets super famous from it and goes on a few talk shows and does interviews etc.

-It’s playing in the background of the news one morning as lawyer and Ordon/Rian are getting ready and listen to the song and Rian’s like “Hey! That’s gelfling!! HE’S SINGING GELFLING!!!” Lawyer begins to look for other interviews of actor and realizes that his answers to “What gave you inspiration to write this warm, cozy song?” always change and he gets fidgety or looks away from the camera.

-Seladon and Mayrin hear it on the radio which was playing internet hits at the time, and tell hippie, thinking it could be Tavra or Brea. Hippie (though hating technology) agrees to take them to the local library to look it up.

-Farm family gets the local paper (which Brea reads every morning to improve her human reading comprehension!) and discovers the gelfling as well. The oldest daughter takes Brea and Tavra to the library to find out more since the farm is remote.

-Happens to be same library hippie girl is at with her gelfling and Brea, Tavra, Seladon, and Mayrin reunite. Hippie and farm girl help look up actor and see that in interviews he mentioned auditioning for a theater a few states away from them so they set off to find him in case he knows how to get the gelfling home.

-Lawyer sees the actor as suspicious and looks him up, finding the theater the girls did and taking Rian and Ordon there, all hoping to find a way to bring them home.

-The three get to the theater where actor is rehearsing and try to figure out why the other is there. Lawyer notices their strangely large tote bag and they notices his heavy/unzipped backpack he used to carry around Ordon/Rian if they wanted to go out. They realize pretty quickly they’re there for the same reason and decide to jump the actor. After actor gets out of rehearsal, they confront him and he admits to knowing Naia and Kylan. They ask to see the other gelfling first but actor is too nervous for that. So, actor takes them all to the coffee shop he works at and takes the gelfling upstairs to find naia and Kylan.

-Naia is ashamed she got them into the mess but the gelfling assure her some good’s come out of it and they’ll return home. Mayrin helps naia redo the Maudra spell and they create a portal to go home. They don’t know if they’ll remember the human world, or what all happened, but they have a tearful good bye to their humans and leave.

-Back on Thra, they reunite with loved ones and don’t quite remember all that happened, but seem to be more stable after the disappearance. They return to their normal lives and all is well (of course until the canon AoR takes over 😉 ).

-Alternate part 2 would be after Gelfling leave humans get together one a year to commemorate their friends going home until one decides to look up what Gelfling and the dark crystal actually is. They see the draining, lose their minds, but luckily caught the Maudra spell via actor recording it on an old camera. They do the spell and go help their friends, but when they go to Thra, they forget about anything to do with the Gelfling being on earth and only recall their lives before meeting the Gelfling. Can they save their friends from the claws of the Skeksis or shall they become essence as well?

#dark crystal age of resistance #gelfling #rian #ordon #stonewood #vapra #tavra #dark crystal #vapra clan #brea #the dark crystal #tdc aor #naia #earth #kylan #alternate universe

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domxmarvel · 4 months

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Love language

Pairing:Imogen x Female!Reader

Prompt:K Kiss

It was the third time you had walked this path today,trying to remember all the talking points the guide would go over so you could translate them. As you were walking you noticed a girl who was looking around frantically,like she was trying to find someone. You had seen her with a group of people not too long ago so she probably got separated from them. Before you could think of how you should approach her,there was a gust of wind that blew her beret off. Lucky you were standing in the perfect spot to catch it. She ran over to you and you could see that she was talking,probably thanking you although you couldn’t hear. Now that she was closer,you got a better look at her,she was beautiful. So beautiful that you didn’t realize she had been rambling for the past two minutes. You put your hand up signaling her to pause,you pointed to your ear and shook your head. You could tell there was an ‘oh’ on the way,that was everyone's first instinct when you told them. Pulling up your phone you opened your notes before handing your phone to her. It only took her a few seconds before she gave it back to you.

‘I lost my friends,can you please help me find them?’ Putting your phone away you gave her a nod and a smile,before reaching up to fix her hair and put her beret back on. You gestured for her to hold on to it,making her laugh. You had seen her group a couple of times now so you sort of knew what they looked like. As you were walking you noticed that she was walking very close to you,you were sure she'd be holding your hand if you hadn't just met. When you walked by one of the local bookstores that one of your friends worked part time at,you glanced at the window to see if she was there and she was.She smiled before saying something and walking out to meet you.

“Y/N,what’s up?” She signed before quickly adding “Who’s your new friend?” You rolled your eyes knowing what she was implying.

“I’m just helping her find her friends that she got separated from. Have you seen a group of French people? Like five boys and four girls,have you seen them?”

“I did just see a group walk by here a like 10 minutes ago”

“What direction did they go in?” She turned to the girl before answering you,you turned to see that she was talking and turned back to your friend who thankfully translated what she said. She had asked your friend for the time.

“It’s 4:50” You saw her face drop and a look of panic took over,she started rambling so fast that your friend struggled to keep up. But you understood that she needed to get to a meeting point before 5:00.

“Do you know where it is or any of the buildings around it?” She told your friend the name of a nearby cafe,and you knew if you hurried you’d get there just in time. You gestured for her to follow you before you waved to your friend. You led her to where your scooter was parked,quickly unlocking it before handing her your extra helmet before you put yours on. She got on and put her hands on your shoulders,you tapped her hand and pointed to your waist instead,she moved her hands to your waist as you put in the key and started driving. You felt her hold you tighter as you picked up speed. A few moments later you noticed her grip got less tight as she was distracted looking around,you wished you could’ve seen her face. You reached the cafe and she got off,handing you back the helmet. You saw a group approach you,looking closer you recognized that they were her friends. They started talking,they must’ve said something about you because she turned back to you and quickly back to them. You took off your helmet,fixing your hair as you stood up,giving them a wave hello. She must’ve told them about you not being able to hear since they all waved back. There was a few minutes and you spent them ‘talking’ to the girl which consisted of you passing your phone back and forth,writing everything. You learned that her name was Imogen and you told her yours. You asked her for a photo of the two of you before she left. Before you posted it to your Instagram you handed your phone to her so she could tag her account. Her friends called her over since it was time for them to leave.

***

"Imogen!" I bolted up,looking at Sahar. “I called your name like five times,what are you looking at that’s more important?” I quickly put my phone down,so she couldn’t see that I was scrolling through Y/N Instagram.

“Sorry the whole break up thing has me a bit annoyed” I lied,not wanting to tell her that I might have feelings for a girl,let alone a girl I had just met not even 12 hours ago.

“If you’re thinking of taking him back,don’t. You did the right thing,you deserve better”

“You’re right,I shouldn’t think about him” I stared at the ceiling for hours questioning everything I thought I knew.I didn’t know what was happening or what I was feeling but one thing I knew was that I wanted to see her again.

I barely slept last night and spent the entirety of breakfast yawning,which made everyone ask if I was okay. I still couldn’t get her out of my mind,spending every moment I could on the profile. As we were on our way to the Eiffel tower I took another look,to find that she had made a post to her story. It was her with a tour group,the caption was the locations they’d been going to. The other locations had been crossed out leaving just the Eiffel tower. Just the thought that I might see her again made me both excited and nauseous.

***

The tour was almost over,your hands hurt from how much you signed,the new script was way longer than last years. You couldn’t wait to go grab a coffee and relax,you just had to get through your last stop. There were only three talking points and you were quickly done with the tour,letting everyone wander around and enjoy the view. Just as you were about to leave you saw a black beret flying towards you,you caught it before it could hit your face. You fully turned and once again you were face to face with Imogen. She laughed as she waved to you,walking up. You fixed her hair and set her beret on top of her head once again. You held up two of your fingers,she laughed as she spoke. Despite not hearing her words you could tell she said ‘twice’ just by reading her lips. She seemed to realize her mistake and quickly typed on her phone,before showing you ‘wanna hang out?’ You nodded ‘and could you please teach me some sign language?’ You hadn’t expected her to ask that,but it made you smile.

A few hours later you sat across from her at a cafe,teaching her the basics and making sure you wrote down what they meant. One phrase you made sure to teach her was ‘I don't understand’ you knew she'd need it a lot at the start.

***

The next day you woke up to a text from Imogen

‘hey,we’re throwing a birthday party for one of our friends. I was wondering if you’d like to come?’ You smiled at the words.

‘I’d love to,where and when?” She quickly texted you back with the hotel's address and the time. You rummaged through your closet for an outfit,nothing too fancy but you didn’t wanna show up in just a hoodie and jeans. The party was later that night so you had enough time to get ready,you were putting on some makeup when your sister came in. you turned to look at her and she looked shocked

“What? Where are you going?”

“A party”

“A party” She repeated “You don’t go to parties willingly,what’s going on?” She could see right through you.

“There’s this girl”

“I knew it,” She exclaimed,interrupting you. She was speaking out loud as she signed,probably not realizing. “So what’s she like?” You didn’t describe Imogen the only thing you found yourself signing was

“She asked me to teach her”

“She did?” She moved closer to you “That’s great,go get her” She was about to leave when you waved to get her attention.

“What did you want anyway?” She thought for a moment.

“I don’t remember,bye”

***

You texted Imogen when you arrived and she immediately came down to the lobby to get you. She smiled as she looked you over.

“You’re beautiful” You hadn’t thought her that,so she must’ve learned it on her own and the thought of it made you blush.

“You too” as you walked you asked “did you learn that for me?”

“Yes,I learned a few more stuff” You corrected her,showing her to proper sign for ‘things’ she signed back “Yes,i learned a few more things”

“Who’s birthday is it?” She signed back,separate letters this time.

“T-A-R-A” You made it to the door before you could ask anymore questions.

The party went well,until they wanted to play truth or dare. You decided to call it a night,and said your goodbyes. Imogen walked you out,you were in the hallway when she moved to stand in front of you.

“How about we play a round,just the two of us?”

“Sure,you first. Truth or dare?”

“Truth” You thought for a moment.

“Why did you wanna learn?”

“Because I wanna talk to you”

“But you’re only here for three days”

“I wanna keep talking to you,if you’d like too”

“I would”

“Your turn,truth or dare?” You could tell she was a bit unsure about the signs,she was trying to remember the signs.

“Dare” Her eyes lit up for a second,she stepped closer.

“I dare you to kiss me” You pushed her back against the nearest wall,leaning in closer. She wanted a kiss and you were going to give her one she wouldn’t forget.

#imogen heaney x reader #imogen x reader #hs imogen x reader #hs imogen #heartstopper x reader #heartstopper imogen #hs x reader

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spelllingandthemysteryschool · 1 year

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hi yaz 🍊 (<-for u) right now im going through that awkward friendless period of my life and have been for a while. i've been following you for a long time and wondered if you had any words of wisdom for those of us in the thick of it. thank you ❣️

(p.s - from what we see online you've seemed really well lately, and its genuinely very encouraging. thanks 4 spreading the joy)

hi! so sorry for letting this ask sit there for a bit... i wanted to make sure i could answer it thoughtfully! �� i ended up writing more than i expected so i apologize if this comes across as a bit wordy.

first of all, thank you so much! it really means a lot to me to hear this... i am literally just Random Girl Online so i’m truly honored & i think you’re incredibly sweet to say so 😭💝

secondly, i’m sorry you’re feeling this way! it’s a miserable place to be emotionally & difficult to talk about... but i promise promise promise you will not feel this way forever. i was so lonely it hurt for a very long time, i guess if you’ve followed me for a while you probably remember. like it was PAINFUL how unpeopled my life was, and i was really embarrassed by it too because no one else seemed to be going through it quite so badly. but honestly, i think... most people actively are or once were lonelier than they are willing to admit, so it’s not an experience that’s awkward at all, and not something indicative of there being anything wrong with you specifically (which is all too easy a conclusion to come to), and it is definitely, DEFINITELY is not going to be this bad always. there are so many lovely people in this world who are just on the cusp of entering your life without your even realizing it yet... at one point last year i took a second to look around me & it suddenly occurred to me that things had gotten so much better for me in a way i genuinely never imagined during the worst of my loneliness, that completely unexpectedly i had come to know a good number of people i liked and cared about.

mostly all i can encourage you to do is to be around people in whatever way u can even if you don’t currently have a circle of friends to turn to. if your school or a local museum or a similar institution is holding some kind of lecture, attend it even if u don’t know anyone else who’s going! you might strike up a conversation with a stranger u unexpectedly get along with and make plans to get to know each other better, or you might just get to lightly chat with a lot of people who u never see again. both of these things are nice in different ways. if your workplace is holding a little potluck for someone’s birthday, go even if it’s just for the sake of having cake and cooing over photos of your coworker’s new puppy. text friends who live in the area who u haven’t seen in years, spend the afternoon at the park together & see if you want to make room in each other’s lives for these new versions of yourselves you’ve grown into. sign up for art classes where u can struggle through something you’re unfamiliar with alongside others who are struggling through it the same way & bond over this for a few hours each week. be the first person to text in a groupchat of people u only sort of know. tag along to study with someone from your class at the library & see if it becomes a regular thing with other people from the same class. maybe you won’t befriend all the people you go out of your way to interact with, but chances are you can and will befriend a few of them! and even if it doesn’t end up working out, a little camaraderie goes a long way in pulling a person out of the pits of despair.

if literally none of the above is an option for u in any way whatsoever right now, just try your best to keep going anyway. which sounds stupid probably, i’m sorry; i would have been CRAZY irritated if anyone told me this when i was so lonely i could hardly think about anything else. but i read a lot of poetry, i played a lot of video games, i watched a lot of movies, i spent so much time out of doors watching the birds and trees, i talked to my relatives more than ever before, i messaged some mutuals so often they turned into genuine online friendships that meant the world to me then and mean the world to me still. it hurt that i didn’t have people to share any of this with the way i wanted to but i still experienced a lot of really nice moments when i was alone & in some ways i feel more equipped to deal with loneliness after living through so much of it because i know now that i’m capable of enjoying things even in the throes of isolation. resilience isn’t sustainable and i sincerely hope you don’t need to be resilient about this for much longer, but your life is not on hold, and if u just keep going i believe you will still experience lots of meaningful and good things until your social life starts to pick up, at which point u will experience lots of other meaningful and good things!

also i guess i already mentioned this and definitely feel free to ignore this bit if it doesn’t apply to you, but be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking this is somehow your fault or because there is something inherently off-putting about you! this is absolutely not the case… not having enough or even any friends is just something that happens sometimes. it’s a much more common experience than it feels like & there is nothing wrong with you! believing this and giving in to the shame will cause you undue pain and isolate you further when people reach out or enter your life if you feel you aren’t deserving of friendship because whatever shape your insecurities happen to take. so just... try and be kind to yourself. this is something i struggled with a lot & that’s why i bring it up, but again, you can totally disregard it if it doesn’t align with your own experiences.

i guess that’s all for now! i don’t think i’m saying anything new, so i don’t know how helpful any of this was. i mostly just hope it wasn’t pedantic! i was trying to think of things that genuinely worked for me or things i would like to tell me of a couple years ago if i could speak to her somehow, and i ended up writing a lot because this is a topic that means a lot to me. basically i just mean to say u will be okay! with time and effort and a little bit of luck you will be okay & you will find yourself surrounded by the nicest friends and acquaintances who genuinely really like you and who you genuinely really like in return. loneliness is just something that comes and goes... sometimes it is a little harder and more painful to get through than other times but it never lasts forever. i hope you take care of yourself & i hope it all starts to work out really well, really soon ❣️ love u

#oh it also occurs to me that i have a lot of readings about this sort of thing by people a lot more eloquent than me...#so let me know if you’d like me to compile those or anything like that!#asks

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protege-not-protagonist · 9 months

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Criminal Minds: The Protégé Chapter 1

Ch 1: Please, Not Another Auditor.

Blurb: After deciding to leave the BAU, Spencer is now a full time professor at the FBI Academy, teaching profiling and criminology. Spencer is struggling to live life without the BAU, but that is to be expected when it has been all he has known for almost 2 decades. The BAU meanwhile, struggled to find someone to fill the genius shaped hole in the team when he left, and they still are struggling. At least, that's how the newest profiler, Agent Grace Matthews feels. Grace is good at what she's good at, it's why the bureau accepted her earlier than most. But how could anyone live up Dr. Reid's legacy? So, when Grace answers a call intended for her desk's previous owner, she jumps at the chance to meet her predecessor and ask him for some advice. Together, they find a kinship… but unfortunately, they also uncover a disturbing pattern in the deaths of inmates and patients the BAU have helped put away.

Masterlist

Audience: recommened mature audience for depictions of violence and sexual references

Author's Note: You might have recognised this story from it's previous iteration on Ao3. I had a bit of a personal crisis and deleted my account. So I am re-editing what I have saved on my computer and reuploading it with some fixed continuity errors now that I finished CM Evolution. Will be cross posted here and on Ao3. This fic is dedicated to giving Spencer a happy ending, serving my desire to write crime/mystery and getting my horrific idea's for unsubs out of my head. Set in 2023, and mostly canon compliant. Sorry this is all plot, no peen. But promise there will be a love interest for Spencer, and Grace acts as a wingman for. This more a found family/ give Spencer a smol bean to mentor fic.

TW: murder, prison, criminology terms

Five years ago: Honolulu women's state penitentiary, Hawaii, April 29th 2017

‘So, what do you think detective?’ Rossi asked as the guard buzzed them through to the observation room.

‘Chief thinks based on the evidence before this fourth victim showed up, we caught our girl.’ Detective Fahnu sighed.

‘That’s all well and good, but I asked what you think Mark, cause this is a real bad time to call in a favour. Back home, a real spaghetti stick of an FBI agent, who happens to be like family to me, is in the clink, and we’re busting our asses trying to get him out before he dies. And you calling me here means I had to ask my boss if I can fly off to Hawaii for a weekend. It looks real bad, okay? So you better have a gut churning reason to keep me here, or I’m gone.’

‘It’s more head spinning than gut churning,’ Fahnu nodded through the mirrored glass window at the inmate sitting cuffed to the desk. ‘It’s just never sat right how fast we closed this one. Kauai is a small island, Li’hue is an even smaller town, people are terrified and out for blood, it’s been bad for tourism, and the local government is calling for heads Dave. Chief wanted this case solved fast. We made a profile, and she fit the bill.

‘She’s a loner, got the whole Wednesday Addams thing goin’ for her, spends her free time in cemeteries, works at a funeral home, no friends at school, quiet, never had a boyfriend or anything like that. But had a good family, didn’t so much as sneeze out of turn in public, school, work, even here she is a model prisoner after the first month. We all knew her at the station, not from any trouble, but she was a paper waster, reporting dead animals, reporting goddamn rocks being moved, cats that went missing, insisting there was a serial killer out there… well what do you know, one turns up, and she inserts herself into the investigation, you people said they do that. So with no other leads or suspects, she starts looking promising. So we got a warrant, and we found… well you know what we found and then there was the internet history.

'And here we are eight months later. I’m not sure what to think Dave, cause I know her family and character witnesses, they’re good people, they don’t lie. But neither does evidence and until this new victim showed up, all of it pointed to her. Someones playing games and I don’t know who it is.’

‘And she plead guilty?’ Rossi asked.

‘I’m not even sure about that anymore, you have the case file there?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Does it have her records while in Kauai Jail?’

Rossi flicked through it again, he saw her 3 weeks here in solitary till she turned 18 and could be placed in a cell in E block, but strangely her transfer and county jail records were missing. ‘No.’

Detective Fahnu passed him a yellow envelope. ‘These somehow never made it across my desk until this week after number four showed up.’ Rossi opened the folder and winced. ‘As soon as I saw those… I knew I made the right call asking you to come. I can’t sleep Dave, I gotta know we caught the right one.’

‘Well, either way you’ve got someone else to catch, the new victim had traces of Semen still on them?’

‘You’re right, we’re running it now hopefully it'll give us a lead, I'm sorry I can’t stay for this, we’re conducting family interviews in an hour, I at least need to be there on conference call but, let me know how this goes. I appreciate this a lot.’

‘Don’t sweat it, I’ll call you tonight, when this is done. Take care Mark.’ Rossi waved the detective off and took one more look over the files, especially the new ones from the county jail.

He observed the girl in the interview room. Her head hung over the desk as she leant on her elbows and bounced her leg. Her buzzed cropped hair now starkly different from the long curly mane in the mugshot that had been taken in November last year. She looked up and peered at the glass, only able to see her reflection, but somehow she sensed his stare and met his eyes.

It was time.

---------

Quantico FBI Academy, VA Thursday July 2023 11:15 am

‘And it is this repeated and obsessive element of an M.O. that can indicate a paraphilia. Paedophilia, necrophilia are well known paraphilia that are criminal in nature. Now paraphilia can be anything, it doesn’t have to be a criminal act, but it can form part of a signature. Can anyone name what type of paraphilia dendrophilia is?’ he asked.

Blank faces met him. Well, the faces that looked up from their notes frantically were blank. The two auditors of the class always disconcertingly looked like their minds were elsewhere. One day, Spencer sighed quietly to himself. One day someone would know. ‘It’s…’

‘Trees,’ a quiet, unfamiliar voice called out hesitantly from the back row. ‘It’s an attraction to trees, dendro from the Greek dendron meaning tree, philia also Greek, meaning strong fondness and love amongst equals.’

The voice was not one of his students this term; he was certain. He could pick their voices. Spencer swiveled his head, scanning his students to get a glimpse of the first person to answer that question since he started asking it. His suspicions were confirmed; she was not supposed to be in this class. The voice belonged to a young woman, probably early twenties, with dark hair in braided pigtails on either side of her head. She fidgeted with her glasses before stuffing her hands back into her cardigan pockets. Their eyes met and she gave him a small smile.

‘…Yes, that’s right, trees. Any ideas what kind of behaviour might be displayed in a signature if a criminal has dendrophilia?’

‘They might like to perform their crimes outdoors in wooded areas, or bury victims under trees so they can revisit crime scenes and get off on the fact the trees are being sustained by a victim's decomposition. Or they might hide bodies in hollow trees, it would depend on an unsub’s preferences,’ she suggested, he could see she had a lot more to say, but she sat there, nervously looking at other students, as if prompting them to say something.

It was then Spencer placed her. He was right; she wasn't a current student. She had been in a few of his classes when he was teaching part time, two years ago. He couldn’t put a name to her face or much of her cohort to be honest. It bothered him. They had switched to online correspondence in the first semester of 2020. Only the first two classes with her cohort were in person, in which she had been silent. But, she should have graduated by now. Why was she here? Oh God, please not another auditor, he thought.

He cleared his throat, turned his attention back to the class. ‘Does anyone who's actually in this class have something to add?’ His gaze might as well have been poisoned the way some of the young students avoided it. ‘No? Okay, I know I blindsided you with that one, but, our guest is right. It may seem inconceivable to some of you that people would actually become aroused by trees, but in my experience paraphilia can be developed from anything and everything.’

He glanced back at her. Now she was clutching a canvas messenger bag tightly against her chest with one hand, and texting with the other. She obviously wasn’t here for the content or to audit him. So, he deduced that she was waiting for him to finish. He tried his best to continue as normal, now hoping that she wasn’t one of his fans that his lectures seemed to attract. ‘Now the assigned reading for next week will go further into how a paraphilia can be imprinted on a person, but I thought the basics of paraphilia would be an important background for the case study this week because it interacts with the stages of development and the importance of a love map. This is a case study from 1995…’

-------

Spencer concluded the class five minutes early and packed up his things, warily glancing at her. The canvas messenger bag she had with her had a few pins on it for personalisation, but the way she gripped it so tight made him dread what was in it. She didn’t appear armed, but she seemed dressed in a way that would convey she was non threatening. It was not unusual, but it was certainly unique for a woman her age; a plain beige cardigan over a pale-floral-patterned collared blouse, navy culottes, and smart, vintage-style, leather loafers. Paired with her youthful hair style, it made him wary. It screamed sweet and innocent, like it was a purposeful statement. If she had consciously decided to dress that way, it was bad news for him.

As she stood, he observed she was on the tall side for a woman, at least 5'9 was his estimate from measuring her against the door frame. She smiled at the students file past her as she held the door open for them. She glanced at him expectantly as the last student left the hall. Suspicion turned to dread. He needed to go. He had no more classes for the day, but she wouldn’t know that. He power walked toward the door.

She smiled at him politely. ‘Dr Reid, I'll only need a few minutes of your time-’

‘I’m sorry. I have a class across the other side of the academy, I have to go, another time perhaps-’

‘Umm… No you don’t, it's Thursday,' she said with a chuckle.

He stilled. How would she know that? Had she been stalking him? His heart hammered, and he started to walk again, quickening his pace. He had to get to a populated area. Now.

‘Dr Reid?’ she called after him. Her shoes made no sound behind him. How was she so quiet for someone that tall? He glanced behind him to see she was two steps behind. ‘Dr Reid, I'm sorry if I spoke out of turn back there. Please, I just want to talk!’

‘I really must go.’

‘Okay, maybe we can sit down and have coffee some other time? I know you like a double espresso and double-choc-chip muffins. They're my favourite too, though I prefer tea.'

That chilled him to the bone. He began jogging. How long had she been watching him?

‘Doctor, where are you-’ He glanced back, and she was right there, her long legs striding to keep pace with him.

Oh God, she was chasing him. He didn’t have a gun right now. He didn’t carry one while he taught. This hall had cameras and hundreds of FBI cadets in classes behind doors right now. Would she really be that bold? He turned to face her. Perhaps he could reason his way out of this.

‘Look, this won’t end well for you. I don’t know what you think you can do to me, but there’s no way you can get away with anything here-’

‘What?’ She stepped back. Her eyes widened. ‘Oh no!’ She took another step back, ‘Oh no, no no… I’m not stalking you, I’m so sorry! Oh, the schedule and the muffin thing—God I must have come off so creepy, please don't freak out okay? I just… I’m so sorry,’ she fumbled out an apology. Her hand slowly went to the front pocket of her bag, but he didn't panic; the pocket was too small to hold a firearm. He kept his distance, ready to run if he needed to.

Her body language had changed completely. Before she seemed excited and nervous, but now she was utterly, and unmistakably, mortified. Spencer almost felt sorry for her.

‘I’m just grabbing my badge, sorry I-I tried calling to let you know I was coming, but Garcia said you were a technophobe, and I couldn’t wait for snail mail-’ He tilted his head, Garcia? ‘-she also told me your coffee preferences if I needed to bribe you… And I rang the criminology department secretary to see what your office hours were. Vivian, booked me an appointment in your calendar… but that… runs… on email… So you mustnt’ve seen it—you had no idea I was coming did you? God I was really early and weird… I-I- didn’t mean to scare you.’ She held out a familiar leather card holder to him. ‘I’m Special Agent Grace Matthews, I’m a profiler with your old unit, I’m new. I-I-we‘ve met before but, um… You might not remember me. Sorry I really wanted to meet you for a while now, I really admire you… and oh God this has gone so wrong… I am so sorry, I can come back later,’ she finished rambling and stood there, looking as if she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her.

It was like he was seeing himself at 22, struggling to fit in a crowd of suits and stern faces knowing full well that if it weren't for his intellect, he would not be there. He inspected her badge. He noted the birthdate of 12/25/1998. Considering it was a requirement that an applicant be 23 for admission to the bureau, and Grace was currently 24 and already a profiler, he suspected that she might have a similar skill set to him. He remembered both JJ and Garcia mentioned they had a new unit member earlier this year. He remembered JJ saying, “Oh Spence, you’d get on like a house on fire. Never met anyone else who could talk about cholera for 30 minutes, and then say they’re not an expert, they just dabble.”

Spencer offered her a smile. ‘Edward Leonski,’ he said.

‘Wha-Oh,’ she nodded sheepishly, ‘Yep, that was me. Eddie Leonski, “The Brownout Strangler”, I mean, I wasn’t the strangler… That was my final paper… you’d probably remember it cause of the spelling and grammar errors.’

‘No, I have an eidetic memory. I remember everyone’s term papers, but I remember yours particularly because I felt awful only being able to give you a distinction… because of the grammar and spelling mistakes. But the case you analysed, I’d never heard of before, which is always a welcome surprise. It gets a bit boring reading papers about the Zodiac, Bundy, Dhalmer over and over. But you chose a challenge, using original court transcripts, statements and archived letters as sources. And I agree with your theory that he was a narcissist with gynophobia, yet an erotic fascination with women's voices at the same time. The mimicry and self-soothing talk he practiced under stress was especially intriguing, and then added the element of the political tensions of the case. It was a really fascinating read. I had to look into it myself. I agree it is a shame that they declared him sane. There was a lot that was unique about his case that could have been learned if he wasn’t executed.’

‘I know right,’ she grinned. ‘But then again, Sanitariums in the 1940s are not something I would ever wish upon anyone.’

‘No, that’s true,’ he nodded.

Gone was the stuttering and fumbling. Good, he’d hoped a shared interest would make her more comfortable.

‘I'm sorry for scaring you Dr Reid, can I start again?’ she asked hopefully.

‘I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, and not checking my calendar—through my email? I didn’t even know that they were connected. So sure, we can start again, you apparently have an appointment. So good morning Agent Matthews, did you enjoy the lecture?’

‘I did enjoy the lecture, both times actually, but it’s way better in person. I had some spare time today, and I wanted to meet you cause I have some questions for you and… um some news, not official FBI business but, we might want to go somewhere that is not going to get flooded with students in about… Now.’ Doors to the other lecture halls opened and chatty students filled the hallway.

If he was honest with himself, he had nothing better to do today, and genuinely he missed having people he could enthuse with. Students were intimidated by him, most faculty members were solely academics and they often were disturbed by his anecdotes, and well auditors made him nervous. Not to mention Matthews’ suggestion of muffins had him hungry now.

‘You know what, I actually could really use a coffee. There is a van that parks close to the Eastside of the academy. Their muffins are usually fresh around now too.’

‘Awesome,’ her shoulders relaxed, and they began walking together through the crowd of students, ‘I’ll shout then, after the scare I gave you, I think it’s only fair.’

Next chapter

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NOTES: I haven't marked this mature yet. not sure how it works cause it has been ages since I posted a fic on tumblr, have no idea how it's going to handle a criminal minds fic. But oh well.

ALSO GRACE AND REID ARE NOT GOING TO BE THE ROMANTIC FOR EACH OTHER. IN THE TAGS I TRIED TO MAKE THAT CLEAR BUT I KNOW SOME PEOPLE DON'T READ THEM…. but don't worry I have someone else in mind to pair Spencer with, and Grace might go a bit "Operation parent trap" style to get them together. Also Grace will get a love interest to… Hopefully though she won't be too much like Reid and end up with her very own Graeve.

With this fic, I think I'll put specific trigger warnings a the start of each chapter because I plan to have sort of breather chapter in between cases and each case will have a variety of different stuff depending on the unsub. These first few chapters are intended as a bit of fluff and an introduction to Grace. if you love it leave a comment, like it, reblog, ask a question, whatever, it is much appreciated and it really motivates me

#criminal minds #spencer reid #fanfic #oc #spencer gets a happy ending #big brother spencer #mentor spencer #the protege #the protege chapter 1

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