#lol my bad for a depressing post

[ficsandgiggles]

Ever feel like a failure ™

[trishabeakens]

Doodles of my Stardew Valley farmer, Jay (they/them). I'm working on them for my server's co-op game. Their chicken is named Bart. :>

[artificialbreezy]

if i disappear after Saturday, it was Megan or Matty who did me in i swear to you right now.

[guinevereslancelot]

me, a jammer 🫐🎶

[musicinherhead]

I cannot stop thinking about the kiss, yes, but the second kiss? When Laudna admits to thinking she’s a bad person, and Imogen refuted it and Laudna kisses her again before explaining everything that happened with Bor’Dor and Delilah???? What if it was a kiss she took out of fear Imogen would rebuke her for her actions? What if it was a kiss she took because she wasn’t sure she’d get another????

Imogen would never turn her away but what if Laudna truly didn’t comprehend that in the seconds before the second kiss? What if she thought it’d be their last??? What then???

[foccaccia]

if you can read this, im not vagueposting abt you. but its real fuckin weird how some people think their pet photos are healing to other people. your kitty and your puppy are lovely but sending me pictures of them are not magically making me feel better and its actually kind of weird that you think it would

[candyriku]

I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.

You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.

Blood. There was so much blood.

He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement. 

When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-

No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.

But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.

Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.

One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned. 

There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.

He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.

No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust. 

He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.

Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.

“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”

He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.

“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now. 

“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.” 

“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths. 

“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.” 

“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was. 

The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him. 

It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.

[coquelicoq]

well i've caught up on the double. which means i am depressed!!!! at least [redacted]'s death scene was homoerotic. (me fully weeping: at least this is being directly paralleled with a het lovers death scene. at least [other stuff i am redacting for spoilers but just trust me bro].) anyway to pass the time until 29 drops does anyone want to help me with a reference post i'm writing about the names of jiang li's family members? let's play a game called Name That Hanzi! wherein i give you an image of some hanzi and you give me text versions that i can copy and paste. i did my best but i hit a wall on this one. here's the image:

[ID: Screencap of Jiang Li from The Double showing her title card with her two names, Jiang Ruoyu and Jiang Li. The names are also displayed in hanzi. /end ID]

so far i've got 姜若雨 for jiang ruoyu on the left, but i'm not confident about those second and third characters (like those strokes are not even all in the right direction. but maybe it's the script?). and on the right we have 字 (zi, courtesy name), SOME CHARACTER THAT HAS STYMIED ME (help me studio audience), and 梨 (li).

(also sidenote is it just me who totally missed that she has a courtesy name? and that apparently it's li that is her courtesy name, and it's the other name, ruoyo, that no one ever uses? also sidenote of the sidenote the ruo character is the same one in her sister ruoyao's name. so maybe they have a generational name? their dad and his brothers all share a character as well (yuan, 元). their little brother bingji doesn't have ruo in his name though. so maybe not.)

[autisticlancemcclain]

i know it’s a stupid thing to whine about and i’m sorry but the low engagement in my fics lately is super bumming me out, plus the wildfires means there’s no sunlight rn and that uh. is generally bad. for my brain. so i’m going to take a break for a bit?? for at least tonight. i need to sort my shit out and do some writing practice to figure out what i’m doing wrong. FRF is definitely still on and queued for tomorrow, and i haven’t decided about wip wednesday yet (not even sure if i’m continuing that bc so far that’s been a flop) so i’ll let y’all know :) be safe and stay healthy everyone i’ll be back soon

[godsfavoritescientist]

I will die on the hill that ford's paranoia is not a character flaw

[floorpancakes]

[essenceofarda]

To Be Loved: Ch12

Chapter 12 | Read from the Beginning

Before she was born, it was foretold that Princess Lothiriel would suffer greatly from the love of men. Her mother's dying words were words of power, to keep her daughter safe from suffering, to never trust the love of men. Now the Princess Lothiriel has become the Queen of the Riddermark. And though her heart is filled with love, will she learn to accept the love others have for her? An Eothiriel + Post-War-of-the-Ring Fic

New chapter up :) We're (finally???) getting to the more meaty part of the actual plot now haha. Only taken me like 4.5 years 😳😅😬

Anyway, would love to hear y'all's thoughts!!

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I’m posting this knowing it’s not what my followers here care about. Let’s call it self care and not willing ignorance.

Anyway, anyone feeling up for vent art? Vent art that doesn’t even make sense!?

[depravedangelbaby]

girlfriend is making me soup!! yay!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

No question. I am informing you that your musings on doing things "half assed" are VERY limited in scope and applicability, especially in the context of interpersonal relationships. Turning comments off will not save poorly thought work from criticism, please think harder before you hit post.

So, reading this came across (to me) as either bad faith or projection, so I looked for entirely too long to try finding this post, but... no, I think this is projection.

I appreciate that not every post of mine is applicable to every situation, but this really comes across as needlessly antagonistic. My comments are unavailable to anybody who is either a brand-new follower or hasn't followed me - they are not 'turned off' unless you are either of these two.