#lol this took way too long to write

[somewhereincairparavel]

🐚 Daughter of Neptune headcanons list... 🌊 part three

Note: ahhh finally done with this unexpected series. Also, this is twice as long as the previous two parts, I got soo carried away haha, well you can't blame me, writing is so fun! This is the last part of this headcanon series, I had so much fun writing this?? Even though I had like a mini writer's block at first, I swear I started typing this part out having no idea what I was doing, but it all turned out better than I expected. This part is not just Jason x reader but it also includes so much platonic stuff with the others of the seven + Reyna + Nico. It's just so fluffy omgg. Happy reading! Thank you sm for all the notes you guys have given me for the previous two parts! Tell me if you guys enjoyed it, do you think I should consider writing more of these headcanon stuff in the future?

Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746404816602972160/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons?source=share

Part two: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746489087922520064/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons-list-part-two?source=share

•After Jason woke up on the bus, he'd actually remember your eyes and voice VERY clearly. Because those were his two favorite things about you. But Hera had whacked him on the head pretty badly, so he couldn't remember ALL the details about you in the beginning, like Percy did. (I honestly wanted to make him remember you fully even after Hera wiped his memory off, but that would be too similar to Percy and Annabeth lol so I didn't want it to be cliche sorry)

•Now you guys may be wondering, what about Piper and Jason? Okay Piper would admit her feelings for him, but Jason would turn her down, albeit politely though, because it felt utterly wrong. He knew about this special person in his forgotten life, even though her figure was wispy and blurry. He never had any attraction towards Piper, she was a good friend, sure, and it didn't matter how pretty people thought Piper was, because those black Obsidian eyes of the mystery girl he was so familiar with, was alone prettier by every means. (We all love a loyal whipped Jason who thinks that a pair of eyes are more beautiful than a daughter of Aphrodite)

•He knew you were special. He knew that he didn't belong there, in the wilderness school. He knew that he was miles away from home. His real home. But the name of that home never came to him. •the moment he looked at his SPQR tattoo, though, it would bring him vigorous flashes of you and him sparring in a training room.

•Aeolus the wind god, would remind Jason of the time you and him stayed at his palace to slay Trojan the sea monster. Well, of course you went, how can you go to slay a sea monster without taking a sea child with you? Right? That was the last quest you and Jason went on before he disappeared.

Aeolus would trigger that one memory in Jason. Thank the gods for Aeolus. That one memory trigger is what made everything gush back to Jason like a tide.

•He’d remember your name, finally. His Best friend. His crush. His maybe girlfriend. He'd remember his friends from his home. Camp Jupiter. Gosh. He felt such a burst of energy simply by saying that name. Now, he felt homesick.

So you could imagine the excitement he felt, when Leo was building the argo ii. He'd practically gush about you to Leo, and even Piper would be super cool with it. Over the course of the months, Piper realized that Jason and her were not romantically compatible at all, it was all Hera’s mist. She didn't even know what she was thinking, crushing on someone who was so different from her on every level. So now Piper and Jason were like homie coded.

You were super worried after Percy told you that the new, Greek ship, the argo ii would land today. Which was pretty weird, since it meant that Jason was coming back to you. Why were you worried?

•Well, for lots of reasons, what if Jason didn't remember you anymore, what if he lost his feelings for you, what if he found someone else? The stress was real.

•Without even realizing it, you poured your thoughts out to Percy, whom you initially refused to tell about your’s and Jason's.. er.. situationship.

•Percy, would surprisingly be chill about it?? Like you were expecting some panicking now that he knew his sister was romantically involved with someone.

•Percy would calmly tell you that Jason wouldn't stop loving you, proudly pointing to himself as an example, that he never stopped loving annabeth even after the Hera Fiasco. Well. He had a point. That boy was still whipped for his girl.

•So when you locked eyes with Jason, and saw the familiar gleam in his eyes, you knew, he didn't forget. You forgot how piercing his blue eyed gaze was,because it made you feel stuff erupting from your stomach lol (blud is the definition of 🧿👄🧿)

•Without even caring about what your fellow Romans thought, Jason and you would just lunge onto each other tbh. Its canon that Jason is the best hugger ever, so it would be a rib crushing kinda hug.

•You would be SO relieved that he'd remember you and he'd be so relieved that you didn't move on.

•You guys wouldn't kiss, not yet. You still haven't exactly acknowledged your relationship status, BUTTT you do the cheesy af forehead touch thing (you could have sworn percy fake-gagged LOL)That's when Jason noticed your praetor badge, he’d be stunned, and would ask you for details, you’d simply point to the golden eagle perched at the end of the senate house and tell him that you and percy got elected after you both returned the eagle together.

He’d fall in love all over again omgg the heart eyes he’d give youuu. He knew that you were downplaying your achievements tho, so he’d secretly ask Reyna for the full details lol. (Reyna was a proud mom, so she’d give Jason ALLL the deets)

•okay so when Annabeth judo flips percy, you'd be SO taken aback lol, you’d even get a lil uncomfortable bc well that's YOUR brother getting attacked by a random girl- so initially you’d be ready af to throw hands.But after Percy starts laughing you’d realize that THAT'S annabeth. Like Percy's Annabeth. Dam, your brother was with a fierce girl.ANYWAYS, Percy would introduce Annabeth to you proudly, like “THIS is MY sister” (so dramatic and for what reason)

Annabeth would initially be very nervous around you, because, one, she didn't know that Poseidon had ANOTHER kid, gods know what havoc you and percy would cause together, two, you meant a lot to percy and she could clearly see that, an idiot could deny how much love your brother had for you, so she was determined to not mess up her reputation around you, ESPECIALLY after she the look on your face when she flipped Percy (you had a hot temper, need i mention, so without even realizing it, you had directed a very fierce glare at her, oopsie).

Octavian would again, not give up in trying remove your’s and percy’s praetorship by going “Oh there cant be four praetors its against the rules” blah blah that's where percy intervenes with his legendary “we all outrank you loser” lol

So after the group’s lunch scene where they discuss the prophecies and stuff. You, Reyna and Jason would actually talk amongst yourselves, after you guys came to the conclusion that you will have to join the gang in the argo ii. Jason would secretly be overjoyed that he doesn't need to separate from you anymore but you guys would still be sad that Reyna wouldn't be able to come.

This also meant that you would have to give your praetorship up. Gosh your positions in camp Jupiter somehow never stuck permanently, you'd even joke about that. And Reyna would have to handle Camp Jupiter by herself now that all three of you left, But Reyna assured you that it wasn't your fault.

Okay enough with the plot yapping I did. Bc if I continue it would go on for ages. The main reason you're here is because of reader x jason and I'm kinda deviating from that a little.

It would actually take so long till you and Jason get alone time on the argo ii because of group discussions and coach Hedge lol But you both would meet at the deck at like 2 AM (this kinda reminded you both of the times you and he would sneak out to explore New Rome at night.) That's where you both could feel the tension in the air lol. So many unresolved and unrequited feelings on both ends, how would you approach that?

But thankfully, being best friends first gave you guys an upper hand to moving forward in the relationship very quickly. You'd just start off talking about each other's respective journeys in your respective camps. He'd tell you about the quest with Leo and Piper, and you'd tell him about what went on in Camp Jupiter while he was gone.

That's when you realize that Jason looked a little different than when he left. His hair was Messier, a little longer, no more neatly cropped, his azure eyes sparkled when he spoke of Camp half blood, and the war games they had, how different it was from Camp Jupiter, etc.

But instead of feeling upset about how much Jason enjoyed the other camp, you'd feel relief. Relieved that Jason no longer looked stressed anymore, he'd always held this fatigue in his eyes, while he was at camp Jupiter , it was no wonder, considering the politics he'd had to engage in to prove the worth of the twelfth legion, his leader duties + vigorous training had tired him out, but now, some of the fatigue his eyes held had vanished.

Camp half blood seemed to be the place for him. Now you were itching to go to this mystery camp your maybe boyfriend AND your brother seemed to love so much.

Jason would be super nervous to tell you that he liked it better at camp half blood, and that he secretly wanted you to come and stay with him there though. Because he felt like he was betraying his Roman life. He felt like he was betraying your past.

So when he'd tell you, he'd just yap and yap about it out of nervousness. That's when it happened. That's when you kissed him. You would just pull him in. Period.

He'd be super flustered at first, neck reddening and all, but he'd just lean in and be so into it (he's a neck grabber, fight me) You'd think that as a military dude, the guy would be a bad kisser. Hell no. His dad's the chief of getting all the bitches, he ain't letting his son embarrass him by having no charm lol

OH OH and speaking of the old man, The moment your's and Jason's lips met, you would hear a clasp of thunder and see huge steaks of lightning explode in the sky.

You had to admit, the thought of your dad's watching as you both kissed made you feel weird lol

But if Zeus had hated you so much, he would've zapped you to electrons by now, and if Poseidon had hated jason so much, he would've drowned him. But thankfully, neither happened.

After lots of long deep conversations (and kissing)You both would reach the decision that after the whole gaia situation is over, you'd both stay at Camp half blood, but, you'd both return to settle in New Rome as you grew up. I mean, it's Camp Jupiter that you both dislike staying in, not the city itself. The city is paradise for demigods.

But the fates ruined it, so despite gaia’s defeat (No leo is alive and well here okay) after Jason took up the responsibility of building shrines for minor gods, he had to go back and forth between both the camps.

But you, Reyna, Hazel and Frank would help Jason with the minor gods in Rome, While Jason took care of the Greeks. This made his job a tad easier.So the downside was that you kinda had to do long distance for a while AND you hadn't even visited camp half blood yet (Which got on Percy's nerves, the poor boy wanted to show you around his Camp and cabin SO badly, but the fates never left you or Jason alone. The Romans always had duties in front of them.)

But because you, Reyna, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, and even Leo helped Jason with the shrine stuff. The job got done a lot quicker.

You both were finally at peace.So as a celebration to finishing the shrine project, Percy and Jason DRAGGED you to camp half blood and had the whole day spent with all of the 7 (including Reyna and Nico).

When I tell you, you've never had THIS much fun ALL your life omg.

You never got to bond with Leo, Piper or Annabeth properly because of the war, and stuff. But today? It was like you guys have been friends since forever.

You played capture the flag, You and Percy used up your water shenanigans to put on the most dramatic fountain show EVER (Annabeth was right in her judgment, you both were completely chaotic together) she realized how fun you actually were, not even half as grumpy as you looked. After you and Percy caused a huge avalanche that almost turned into a hail storm (which was prevented by wind boy Jason) Leo told you guys to stop flexing your fancy shmancy weather powers.

Piper taught you guys how to surf, which only ended in You and Percy somehow splattering water on each other and you aggressively tackling him into the bottom of the ocean, WHICH ended in a chaotic “who can swim faster?’’ competition between you both, You both were SO dedicated that you created a huge bubble to bring everyone into the bottom of the ocean to spectate (Frank turned into a sea urchin though lol)

You and Percy ended up in an argument over who won. Mind you, if you read part one, you'd know that Percy and you have this ability to telepathically converse with each other underwater, but only you both understand, so it would end up looking like you're making strangled fish noises to the others. Nico, Piper, and Leo were absolutely hysterical. Jason was amused but so clueless. Hazel was mortified, while Annabeth and Reyna hoped you and Percy didn't kill each other. And Frank? He was still an urchin.

Also, since You, Jason, Percy, Annabeth, Hazel and Frank would all go to New Rome College together, you guys would have SO many double dates together omgg.

I forgot to mention, you met Tyson and Percy's new little sister Estelle, so now your sibling group has expanded even more.

did i mention that percy and you would have matching dolphin plushies? yeah. he'd have the blue and you'd have the grey

Tyson would love you sm omg :( he'd keep making you stuff every time you showed up in camp half blood.

Also, Sometimes when Percy and Annabeth would be busy, You and jason would so babysit Estelle (which Sally would adore) Jason would so take Estelle flying.

can I just take this moment to emphasize how much Sally would care about Jason?? Like after hearing jason’s erm tragic past, Sally would get so protective of him and give him sm food and everything :( Jason would get a little emotional too. Like you can just see his eyes tearing up whenever Sally hugs him :(((

Even though Reyna joined the hunters, You and Jason would make it a point to see her at least Every two weeks. She'd be so proud of how far you and Jason had come, even after the long break that temporarily had your relationship on hold. Now Reyna could sleep peacefully lol since the poor girl had seen you both hopelessly pining for eachother since you were like 9 lol

She had listened to you telling her that you weren't good enough for Jason to like you back, AND him telling her that he wasn't good enough for you, after all.

Okay after you guys got older, because of the amount of services you and Jason had done for Camp Jupiter, you guys would end up receiving such a cool house in New Rome as a gift (it's like the least you deserved for all that you've been through lol) It would have a fancy Roman bath and everything. and even better, it was not far from where percy and Annabeth were living. So it was a win win.

You and Jason would totally iris message Nico at least once a week, you both were basically proud parents when you see Nico all lovey dovey in a relationship with Will. (Is this how Reyna felt seeing you and Jason? Maybe, yes)

Also, you and Thalia met not long after she came to Rome to check out the minor god's shrines. She loved you, like almost immediately, Jason iris messaged her atleast twice a week, so he told her all about you. So Thalia would be SO happy that someone was treating her lil bro right. He deserved that.

Speaking of family, Zeus had just grudgingly accepted that you were his son's girlfriend lol Poseidon would actually be a little chill about it. He wasn't as judgemental as his brother. But just because you and Jason were dating didn't mean that your dad's didn't stop having a go at each other lol

But you both would make it a point to start aggressively kissing eachother whenever you spot statues of your dad's placed next to eachother. Simply to piss them off. And it works. Every. Single. Time.

You would hear a clasp of thunder each time you do this. You and Jason would just look at eachother and burst into giggles. It was a tradition now between you both.

Sometimes Jason would still look at you like you were made of stardust, and vice versa.

In the end, you and Jason were what people called “Childhood Sweethearts”

[frigateclan]

//Prologue - 3//

[wikiangela]

wip wednesday🎄

tagged by @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove

i wasn't gonna post anything but i wrote quite a lot today and need validation lmao (I think I might be about halfway done but who knows, it always gets away from me haha) today some buckley siblings feels, and hopefully soon ill get to the fluffy christmas part haha

prev snippet

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"(...) I used to make stuff for Maddie, and then when I was older I would save money to buy her something small and mostly symbolic.” he glances at Eddie. There’s a mix of bittersweet nostalgia and sadness on his face. “She made all my Christmases bearable, and after she left-” he stops abruptly and quietly clears his throat. When he speaks again, he doesn’t finish the sentence. Eddie wants to ask, but he figures Buck will share what he’s comfortable sharing, he doesn’t want to push. “But that was the one thing I wanted so badly, more than anything, more than any cool toys or- or anything,” he chuckles again, “and Maddie tried to give it to me, and she got in trouble for it. So after that, I just never asked again.”

“Buck.” Eddie says softly, wishing he could do anything to make it better, to fucking go back in time and give Buck all the Christmases he ever dreamt about.

“But I always wished-” Buck continues, then glances at Eddie nervously. 

“Wished what?” Eddie’s thumb softly swipes along Buck’s neck and jawline, as far as he can reach. He just wants to comfort him somehow, and at the moment this is the only way he knows how, just a comforting touch, being there, listening.

“That one day, when I grew up,” Buck looks down at his lap again, his voice getting even quieter, “I’d have my own family and I’m gonna do matching Christmas sweaters every single year, and take tons of pictures of us all together, and-” he pauses again, and, with a teary laugh, raises his hand to wipe at his eyes. Eddie wants to wrap him in his arms and hold him. (...) “But it doesn’t matter, I don’t-” Buck shakes his head, and leans away from Eddie’s touch. Eddie aches to keep touching him, to reach out and follow, but he respects that clearly that’s not what Buck wants anymore, that’s fine. “I don’t have my own family yet, so it doesn't matter. Let’s just drop it.” he says, tone decisive, face red, eyes glued to the screen again. 

Eddie frowns. What the hell is Buck talking about? He has a family, right here.

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @buckaroosheart @hippolotamus @king-buckley @callmenewbie @jeeyuns @disasterbuckdiaz @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @jamespearce9-1-1 @daffi-990

[eruanee]

Kiryuu Touga and the cyclical narrative

TW : Discussions of misogyny, emotional manipulation and abuse, sexual abuse and (sexual) child abuse. (Very vague) mention of incest.

First of all, not really as a disclaimer but more as a recommendation, a lot of my thoughts about Touga are shaped by this essay, which is definitely easily one of my favorite pieces of Utena meta. I think I'm going to implicitly or more explicitly reference it sometimes, but you don't need to read it to understand this post.

I have a complex relationship with Touga. He is despicable, yet the more I watch the series, the more I find myself... fascinated by him. This post is a pretty much a synthesis of all these thoughts.

On a purely narrative level, Touga's role is a bit special. He's the antagonist of the first arc. The three duels involving him are all turning points in the series. He's a core character in the development of several other characters (Saionji, Nanami, Utena and Miki on a different level).

Yet, turns out he's only a puppet, just as everyone else is. How surprising. And when it comes down to it, what do we know about Touga ?

He's the Student Council's president. He seemingly can't have a relationship with anyone without manipulating them to his advantage. He sleeps with any girl (and maybe not only girls) who breathe around him in a 1 ft radius. His way of coping with depression is to seal himself in a wide and totally empty room to listen to his own voice on repeat to ponder heavily on his broken hopes and ideals. (Hmm. Hardcore.)

And more importantly, he wants power. A power that would be absolute. But why so ?

And this is the point where it gets complicated.

Touga is barely the main topic of episodes focused on him. He is the center of many obsessions and interests, but it seems we never touch upon him as a person. He can be seen being vaguely vulnerable in eps 11 and 12 and then there's the whole Black Rose arc thing. But where does all this mess steam from ?

Victim status

Eps 35 and 36 are the one going deeper into Touga’s character and yet... we’re barely sure of what’s actually going on in his brain. These episodes always give me a weird feeling because we don’t really get to see Touga express his feelings very clearly or freely... We barely get to hear his thoughts. 

Just like Anthy.

Don’t make me say what I didn’t say, though. Touga gets to have way more agency than ever does Anthy, and he certainly doesn't endure the same dehumanization as she does. Anthy does have agency in a way. But she expresses it in hidden, implicit ways : playing tricks, hitting people in their sore spots, sarcasm, empty eyes and fake smiles. She’s manipulative and Touga is, too. These two share many similarities, though they can’t completely blend with each other, of course. 

We don’t know much about Touga’s childhood. We know he and Nanami were adopted (or “sold”) to the Kiryuu family at a young age. That’s basically it in the canon of the series. Though, Touga’s backstory in the movie, showing him being sexually abused by his adoptive father, was apparently meant to be included in the series as well :

Although the TV series touched upon Touga’s younger days, the film goes into more details – the wound of Touga that was never directly depicted. In his younger days, Touga was a normal kid who enjoyed happy times with his friend Saionji Kyouichi and his younger sister Nanami. However, he came to know his unfortunate fate from the time he was ordered by his parents to wear his hair long. His parents sold him to the Kiryuu family. Although he was an adopted son on the surface, the instinctive Touga knew what that meant. And in order to protect his younger sister, he accepted his lot. Being sold. We did not go into depicting what Touga’s parents obtained by going as far as selling their son. We would like you to think of it as a kind of metaphor. 

And Touga accepted in silence the sexual abuse from his new parents. His personality changed while he made a magnanimous show of enjoying the abuses in order to prevent his personality from splitting. The change took place in a spot so deep in his mind, that even those closest to him did not notice. Saionji and Nanami never noticed out of their innocence. And Touga never told his secret to anyone. It is said that a human being gains whatever he lost in exchange. So what did Touga gain in exchange at that point in time? It was the sense of alienation from being abused every night and seeing his innocent friend and sister during the day. The alienated self.

(Extract of a comment Enokido, one of the writers who worked on Utena, wrote about Touga’s role in the Utena movie.)

Of course, you could argue whether or not the sexual abuse is canon or not in the series. After all, the series and the movie don’t seem to take place in the same canon (even though it is hard to completely disconnect the two). Whatever you choose to believe, I personally think it all makes so much sense. 

It makes sense regarding Touga’s general behavior in the series (but this is more touched upon in the essay I linked above) and it makes his goal and his narrative role much clearer.

Being sold like a mere object, knowing a much harsher truth about life Saionji and Nanami don’t know about, showing everyone a stronger facade in order to not completely lose your mind and keep protecting your friend and your sister from this reality and eventually... letting them know in a painfully gendered way, perpetuating everything this system has forced on you. 

It has all become part of you. 

Keeping the cycle of violence going became part of your blood and flesh. Making clear who is supposed to inflict pain and who is supposed to receive it. Who is supposed to protect and who is supposed to be protected. Who is supposed to act and who is supposed to wait. 

And you ? No, you’re never supposed to hurt anymore. You want a way out of this. For you, the easiest way is to simply reclaim the place that was always prepared for you to take. 

When Touga and Saionji found Utena in her coffin, it feels like Touga knew something Saionji didn’t. Saionji felt it too, but he wasn’t able to recognize what it was. After all, he was still a child. Touga knew about the same thing Utena learned with her parents’ death : they both had a glimpse of what the “adult world” (Akio’s world) actually looks like, shattering their juvenile knowledge of the world. 

A world where people die. A world where the weak lose. A world where the prince should protect the princess. 

Touga already had a coffin. Utena just found hers and was about to find a new one. Saionji was just finding his. 

It all makes sense regarding how obedient Touga is to Akio and why he seeks his validation, his desire to go up in the hierarchy aside. It makes sense because he is “alienated”. Touga got deprived of everything, he knows the burden of being alive and he’s learned, from his early childhood, to be compliant. 

He seems independent during the Student Council arc and a majority of the series, but eps 35 and 36 show he is not the mastermind of it all. He has a privileged position but unlike some other characters, Touga never uses his agency to try to break out of the system ─ he follows its rules and tries to reinforce his dominance. 

Why would you break out from a system serving you so well ?

“I want to become like him. I want power like his.”

Touga is alienated to the system and his only goal is to become what it expects of him. After all, why wouldn’t he ? Being a prince is the best position offered by the system. Being a prince means acquiring an absolute power. With such power, one doesn’t die and is forever out of reach and harm and pain. Who wouldn’t want such a thing ? 

The prince never saves the princess out of selflessness. He saves her because it gives him a reward in exchange. He saves her because it gives him power and control over her and ultimately, everyone else. And so, the princess becomes a "toy" wannabe princes has to win, to conquer.

Does Touga, even during what seems to be his most “sincere” moment in ep 36, ever wish to protect Utena for something else than possessing her ? When could have he learned to know and appreciate her as a person, rather than a princess ? A reward to conquer ?

When did he stop wishing he could’ve saved Utena just like Akio did ? I believe he might be genuine, yet he acts toward Utena exactly like she acts toward Anthy. He wants to save her for his own sake, regardless of her personal hopes and desires. 

It’s truly sad, though. Because all of it is nothing but a childish dream. There was never once a prince in this world. Only boring and abusive adults. 

“Are you really happy with that?”

Well, when it comes down to it, probably not. But was it ever about happiness ? Probably not either. The pursuit of power only ever leads to isolation, to a complete lack of meaning ─ after all, friendship is a fool’s thing. No one can reach what’s behind the facade. 

Saionji was able to confront Touga with his own lies and paradoxes, get as close to his real self anyone probably could. But it wasn’t enough. Saionji himself didn’t go as far as leaving the system entirely, even when it seemed he had cracked it all. Touga sort of did, too. 

As far as I’m concerned, we only heard his own, deep thoughts once.

“Kiryuu Touga, the playboy Student Council President... Is it? "Playboy" sounds old-fashioned.”

Touga weaponized himself. He weaponized his body (sex is only a tool to aim for power). He weaponized his heart (relationships only matter if you use them to your advantage. Those who believe in love and friendship are fools and will be ultimately be used to someone else’s advantage). And for what ? 

I really like the symbolism of the poppy flower in ep 35. I feel like it symbolizes Akio’s power, in a way. I’m incredibly bad when it comes to the language of flowers (so everyone is free to correct me) but please bear with me. In the East, red poppy flowers apparently symbolize romantic love and success (what it probably means for the girl confessing to Touga, as well as Akio when he “eats” it in this scene, since Touga and him are talking about Utena) but it can also symbolize “luxurious pleasures and fantastic extravagance”. In the Japanese language of flowers, red poppies can also symbolize someone “fun-loving”. I feel like both of these work with Akio and I believe that for Touga, they are a symbol of luxury and extravagance. 

Yet another girl confessed to him. Without even thinking about it, he kissed her. He will never read her confession letter, he probably didn’t even notice it. He will probably simply leave it on the floor, without a care. This pursuit of power isn’t even fulfilling to him, there’s absolutely no thought behind it. Only automatic actions, behaviors working in favor of someone else’s greater scheme. He won’t even get to actually possess Utena. 

He will never get what he truly wants. Is there even anything that he truly wants ? Saionji, maybe. In the meantime, he’s just a tool for a system. A system made up by boring adults, based on lies, illusions and unachievable dreams. 

Touga is condemned to go in cycles. He’s given everything to overcome what keeps him stuck and trapped, but it doesn’t do anything. He can only revolve around his own coffin, completing the same circle, again and again. 

He doesn’t know how to do anything else. 

It will never make anything he’s done forgivable. But at least, maybe one day, he’ll realize. Or maybe never. 

We can always create new roads, leading to worlds completely unknown to us, where everything needs to be built. Anthy and Utena are here to show the way, who deserves to follow these new roads is only up to you. 

On a purely personal standpoint... I was never really able to answer this question. 

“No. It's not over until we see it through the very end.”

[rasse5]

This was supposed to be for Valentine's day but guess who started this way too late and then got busy🙋‍♂️

I also have some "backstory" for this pic:

It's Sonic and Shadow's first Valentine's day together. Sonic isn't much of a romantic guy so he has completely forgotten that today is indeed, Valentine's day. Meanwhile Shadow has gone to visit Rouge in need of help.

Shadow has never "celebrated" Valentine's day, He has only heard of it from Maria over 50 years ago. The only thing he knows about this special day is that you usually give or do your romantic partner something nice but Shadow has no idea what to do.

"So what's the matter Darling? Why aren't you with your boyfriend?" Rouge starts the conversation

"I.. I need some help Rouge. You know, it's Valentine's day and I usually just treat it like every other day but now I'm dating Sonic and I have no idea what I should do" Shadow opens up

"I'm not a romantic guy, all these feelings and the whole dating thing is still very new to me but I don't want to just stand here and do nothing" He continues

"Hmmm... have you thought of just giving him something simple.. like flowers?" Rouge answers after thinking for a second

"Flowers?"

"Yes, flowers. You know that men typically only get their first flowers in their funeral. And well.. Sonic always gets flowers from his fans etc. for saving the city but I think receiving flowers from someone really special would be a good idea"

Shadow leaves Rouge's still a bit unsure if giving flowers is a good idea. Would it be too weird of him, the ultimate life form to give flowers to his significant other? But on the other hand making Sonic happy would be worth it.

After a while Shadow warms up to the idea and heads to a flower shop. He has decided to push his ego aside and do what his heart wants the most, and that would be Sonic. He indeed would do anything for him even if it cost his pride. "Fuck it"

Shadow buys a bouquet of lavenders from the shop. They look and smell amazing. Now he only needs to find Sonic.

After searching for a while Shadow finally finds Sonic. Of cource he's out running around Green hill. Shadow tries to shout Sonic's name but words get stuck in his throat. Showing affection towards someone isn't so easy. Especially for Shadow.

Shadow shakes his head "Just do it goddamnit" he tells himself.

And that's how we are in "present time" (what happens in this drawing)

Shadow ends up just shoving the bouquet in Sonic's face and hands while getting embarrassed. And of cource, Sonic is pretty surprized and confused for a second.

[sysig]

Anime good :) (Patreon)

[oflights]

you're at least the fourth person on tumblr i've seen express disdain for emerald fennell doing wuthering heights? what she done to hurt all the tumblr girlies? i'm asking as i really don't have an opinion on her.

HA okay i had to find the last ask i got about this because i have longstanding beef with her

BASICALLY the tl;dr is that she's an awful writer that values style over substance to the detriment of substance. she thinks shock value and twists make up for her lack of intellect (she is dumb as a box of hammers imco) and depth of narrative.

she's also ragingly classist (see: saltburn) and sexist (promising young woman). and thinking of the classist/racist crimes she's going to commit against heathcliff literally makes me shudder. it's going to be bad.

[zoideramy]

A Monster in Waiting

Beware those who travel alone, for around here a fell beast roams. A killer from beyond the grave, she rather fancies those who think themselves brave. And if she catches you in the dead of night, you'll get far more than just a fright. But only fools dare cross her path, unknowing or unbelieving of her wrath. A Zoid straight from the depths of hell... Her roar will be your death knell

[Zoids HMM Blade Liger Custom - Contamination]

[darlingdarlingdontlookhere]

part 2 to this omo thought i made bit ago: (cw for sfw omo and omutsu, this time it isnt just mentioned theres actual diapers here now lmao)

---

after returning home the rest of the night is quiet and basic for A, they even head to bed early due to the stress the evening has caused.

B on the other hand was working pretty consistently that night to fully implement the new rules for A. Sending out an order to retrieve a few items in the process

by the time the clock struck 2 in the morning everything was already in perfect motion.

...

When A woke up that morning they were met with the regular full feeling they usually had in the mornings. groaning, as their bed was sooooo warm, they sat up and rubbed their eyes. Like clockwork they put on slippers to shield their feet from the cold and then walked over to the door to their en-suite. strangely though, they found it wouldn't open. hm... maybe the door was stuck? they would figure it out later.

heading downstairs they attempted to open the bathroom on that floor. stuck again, they huffed to themselves and crossed their arms. how odd. 'Someone must be using it,' they supposed, 'i guess i'll have to wait for awhile then.'

as they turned around to head towards their kitchen, they bumped into B.

"up early I see, good. there's lots to do today. Coffee is nearly ready and i'll prepare your breakfast in a moment, but theres something we must attend to. follow me" B gestures to follow and then heads upstairs,

A tilts their head to the right and follows "is this about... what you said last night?"

"the rules and protection? yes. yes it is" they respond without even looking back.

A gulps but holds their head high.

They end up inside of a room A very rarely goes in, it's the guest bedroom at the end of the hall upstairs. Usually it's neat and tidy with almost nothing in it aside from a bed, side table, and dresser, but a few items and packages are placed neatly around, and on the bed is a new bed spread, and A's clothes that were picked out for them, normally this would be on A's bed for after A ate breakfast....

A shoots B a glance "what is this?"

"i would assume you wouldn't want someone else seeing these items in your bedroom, so I feel like its only natural they'd be in here. We don't get visitors anyway"

A raises an eyebrow "why are my clothes here?"

"you'll see, now why don't you undress and I can help you put these on"

"help me?" A takes a step back "why would I need help putting on clothes"

"it's just so I can show you how to use a couple things. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

A huffs, "fine."

after a moment A begins to take off their pajamas, until theyre in just their underwear, then they go to take the neatly folded pants layed out on the bed.

B tsks "underwear too"

A looks at B in confusion, searching for an ounce of joking in their features but they only get their regular professional monotone look. "go on" they say with a wave of their hand

A sighs and slowly slides down their underwear, the cold suddenly bringing back their need to use the toilets. quickly they go to the stack of clothes again, but this time B grabs their arm

"have a seat on the bed for me."

A does so against their better judgment, thinking that questioning everything would just prolong their wait for the toilet

from the bottom of the stack, b takes a pastel pink bundle and begins to unravel it. revealing it in all it's glory

"is that a diaper? you've got to be joking. im not putting that on! i'm a grown ass person and I can control my own bladder!"

B raises an eyebrow and then looks down at A's legs, theyre crossed tightly and jiggling non-stop "uh huh. You're very convincing."

A scoffs and looks away "the sarcasm is not appreciated."

B "well let's look at it my way, You are an adult person who's clearly got more potty training to do as you never go when you need to and always have accidents in the most inconvenient of times. and I'm stuck with cleaning up the mess. I don't mind cleaning up for you, but seriously I'd rather a single garment then a puddle ruined furniture."

a beat of silence passes and then A looks down and whines in distaste "I don't want to wear it..."

B lifts up their chin "I promise you it wont be so bad, just try this for me alright?"

A's eyes meet B's, and is suddenly unable to resist "ohhhh.... ok fine..."

B lights up a bit and smiles "very good, now lay back so i can put this on you"

hesitating, A looks away and brings their hand to cover their mouth "hmmm..." they try to bring themselves to ask for the bathroom first, but all that comes out is a soft whine

"come on now, are you so helpless that i need to push you on the bed aswell?" B chuckles gently, a comforting sound "theres nothing to be concerned about, I promise the sooner we get this on, the sooner we can move onto other things" They bring a hand to A's chest and gently pushes them on their back

they land with a soft thud "oof-", they squeeze their legs an wiggle a bit at the wave that was brought on by the change in position, then they hear a soft crinkle of the bed underneath, "hey what's with the bed spread?"

B speaks as they gather a bag from the other side of the room "oh yes, i've put down a water proof mattress protector underneath the sheets, its just for emergencies, you know. in case you leak while you're being changed"

A brings their hands to their face and groans in embarrassment, this was all so humiliating.

B brings the bag over and then gets to work, lifting up A's legs and sliding the padding underneath their bum. they place the legs back down and spread them slightly, preventing A from squirming, and they apply a lotion and powder to the area before expertly taping the garment into place

"there, now you may put your clothes on"

A is stunned by how quick the proccess actually went, they go to sit up and run a hand around the padding o see how it feels. its thick around their waist and crotch, spreading their legs apart slightly, but it would easily be hidden by a waist coat, thick pants or a long enough skirt. the size is no problem, but the sound...

Every time they move, they emit a crinkle, it's deafening and embarrassing... they go to grab their day clothes to see if a pair of pants would dampen the sound any.

as they stand up B begins to speak again,

"now, as I said before I do have some new rules in mind."

A scoffs "yeah yeah, lets get them over with"

B clears their throat "Alright... if you need a change just tell me, but I will check you every so often even if you don't. If you need the restroom just let me know I have every bathroom locked aside from the one in the maids quarters. there are more private supplys in there and I didn't think you'd want the other help to know about this. just let me know and i'll unlock it for you"

"why can't I just have a key?"

"you have a track record of losing things, you wouldn't want to lose the key to your own toilet would you?"

A grumbles as they button up their shirt

"didn't think so. if you need a change we are out you are to let me know immediately so I can find a suitable place as soon as possible. you got all that?"

"yes mom" A rolls their eyes as they smooth down their clothes

B smiles lightly and pats A on the back "i'm proud of you for not giving me too much trouble with this, I know this must be doing numbers on your pride"

A blushes "yeah yeah. whatever let's just-" before A can finish their sentence, a huge wave washes over them, they whimper a bit trying to squeeze their legs, but the padding keeps them from getting too much relief.

B looks over "is there something you need" they ask expectantly

"n- no i-!" a small spurt dribbles into the padding and they swallow hard. even though they want to ignore it and move on, they cant. denying their needs is what brought them to this position in the first place they lower their head and play with the hem of their shirt "a- actually... may I go to the toilet.... please?" A says just above a mumble

B smiles faintly "of course you may" b places their hand on the small of A's back and leads them to the nearest bathroom

A whispers a thank you as b places their hand on the small of A's back and leads them to the nearest bathroom. as they reach the top floors bathroom, b pulls out a key and goes to unlock it, A watches as they hop from foot to foot.

the moment it's open A rushes inside and locks the door, another small leak is quickly absorbed into the padding, "ooohhhh..." they whimper out

they pull down their pants and go to pull down their diaper, but its too tight around their waist to go down.

"oh no... come on!" a struggles with it a few more times before deciding it just wont work, they go to pick at the tapes instead

a few more spurts spread into their diaper, turning the front a faded yellow. no matter how hard they pull at the tapes it wont come off. tears spread in their eyes as they whimper and whine

a knock comes from the door "is everything alright?"

A bites back a sob, and holds themselves, pressing the damp diaper into themselves to offer some form of relief "it- it wont come off!!!"

"may I come in and help?"

"um... yes please."

a jingle is heard as B unlocks the door from the outside and enters, finally catching a glimpse of A, who is a pitiful sight to behold.

"oh dear, come here A, let me help"

A shuffles closer, and b kneels down to untape the tapes, which do in fact seem to be stuck "oh my.. i may have underestimated the tapes on these ones. maybe I should get a different brand next time" b mutters to themself "I may have to go get some scissors, can you wait for me?" B looks up at A expectantly,

A wants to say that they can, but suddenly their bladder makes the decision for them. A chokes back a sob and holds onto the wall to support themselves as their legs shake, a hiss is heard as their diaper is filled and relief and embaressment washes over A. tears trickle down their cheeks and drip onto the ground as they sniffle pitifully.

B stands up again and goes to rub A's back, genuinely feeling bad "oh dear.... I'm sorry A, are you alright?"

A sniffles and whines "i nearly made it..."

B smiles "yes, and you actually admited you needed the restroom this time. I'm proud of you, you are making good progress"

"but I still had an accident..."

B brushes a hair out of A's face "that's ok, its mostly my fault for providing you with diapers with tapes that stick together like they were glued."

A chuckles lightly and wipes their eyes, they shift their weight and realize how icky they feel "um..."

B tilts their head "yes?"

"may I be changed now....?" A says, mumbling.

smiling, B pats their back "of course my dear."

-the end, part 3 coming maaaaaybe?????? idk-

[whimsicalcotton]

apf 20 :O

20 - on a scar

so i ended up setting this somewhere vaguely in the polluted marrow-verse bc How Could I Not w that prompt combo <3

CW for some talk of self-harm

Max won't stop giving her this look.

Chloe's grown used to the weight of her wide-eyed stare — well, sort of — but this feels somehow different. Heavier, hesitant. 

It started midway through their trip. Rachel had called a little earlier in the evening, waxing poetic about her long day and asking if they wanted to pick her up and head out for a bit to de-stress. So Chloe hopped in the truck with Max in tow, and after rescuing Rachel from the dungeon known as Blackwell's dormitories, they’d decided that then was as good a time as any to introduce Max to their tradition of impromptu midnight picnics. One stop at the convenience store and several bags of sweets later, they’ve all settled down in the flatbed, half huddled together and watching the stars between bites. 

Rachel's hoarding a bag of skittles and spinning a tale of Andromeda’s chains when Max starts shivering. Chloe interrupts to ask if they want to head back and is shot down in short order by two different pouts and a dramatic whine of, “No way, I'm just getting to the good part.” So instead she squirms out of her jacket and insists on handing it off to Max, hoping it still carries a bit of residual heat. 

That's when Max starts looking. Bushy little brows upturned in quiet concern, moving to absentmindedly fidget with the jacket collar. It’s something Chloe has come to recognize as a mark of overthinking, a sign that Max is worrying far too much about something more than likely out of her control. 

“Yo, Mad Max,” Chloe calls over to her as Rachel finishes. “C’mere.” She shifts a bit and motions in invitation for Max to come snuggle up to her. Max wastes no time making good on the offer. “What’s with the sad puppy eyes? Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

Rachel moves a little closer too, leans into Chloe’s other side. “I think,” she murmurs, reaching down to run her fingertips over a patch of raised skin on the inside of Chloe’s forearm, feather-light. “She’s worried about these. Am I right?”

Max nods, timid and tentative.

Chloe forgets about her scars, sometimes. She’s used to them. Used to covering them up without a second thought, used to glancing them over, used to ignoring them for the sake of surviving a hot summer day. A good chunk of them are even hidden amidst her tattoo at this point, and she’s learned to ignore what few remain in the open. By now they’ve grown pale and thick with age, not having seen the returning glint of a sharp edge in a long while. Which is a good thing, she supposes; even if their discoloration and visible shift in texture make them almost as easy to spot as when they were fresh. 

“Oh.” She swallows hard, takes a sudden interest in examining the scuffs of her boots. “Don’t stress yourself out about it, Max. They’re getting pretty old. No worries, yeah?”

But Max remains unconvinced. She nestles herself further into Chloe, holds the girl's arm in both of hers and hides her face in the crook of her neck. “M’sorry,” she whispers, half lost to the dark.

Before Chloe can even think of an adequate reassurance, Rachel answers for her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she offers with a soft smile. “I took care of them.” She turns up to Chloe again, donning a slightly more unimpressed expression. “Most of them. When you’d let me, anyways.”

“Oi, I don’t think now is the time for petty technicals.”

“What, like she doesn’t already know how stubborn you can be?” Rachel counters in a lighthearted scoff. She laces their fingers together, gives Chloe’s hand a gentle squeeze. “My point is, you weren’t dealing with it alone. You had me looking after you.” 

They're quiet, for a minute or two, before Max finds her voice. “G-Good,” she says, emerging from her hiding place just long enough to pull back and nuzzle into Chloe’s shoulder. She presses a soft, cottony kiss to one of the less visible scars lurking amongst curls of inky thorn and ribbon. Then another, then another. “Thank you.”

Chloe bites back a shiver of her own.

[tigergendermoved2tigergender]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Happy birthday Mushitarou!

The sad silly green man is one of the absolute best and also one of the most criminally underrated characters in all of BSD. I don’t have any fics or anything for him today (EVENTUALLY... eventually....), but I’ll share some headcanons for him (+others) that I have 💚 (part headcanons/part analysis tbh)

Under the cut cause uhhhh this got a lot longer than I expected it would ahaha, smh:

While I don’t think he had any particular falling-out with his family, I think Mushi is naturally isolated from them, and only became more closed off after his father died, someone whom he was especially close to and who shaped him into the good person that he is. He was lonely growing up in school, and Yokomizo was as well, even though it didn’t seem that way on the surface due to the latter being much more outgoing and extroverted; neither of them had anyone who truly understood and engaged with their interests (especially not Mushi after the loss of his father). Yokomizo was also estranged from his relatives, even more so after he became obsessed with writing, so he and Mushi became as close as family after enough time had passed – they really were all each other had, in so many ways.

Mushi already visited Yokomizo frequently enough as it is, without much else to do in his life, but began coming to see him even more often after he was told about Yokomizo’s terminal illness/given the request to kill him. Despite Yokomizo’s desire to finish his novel before his health deteriorated enough to be noticeable, he was unable to do so, and as time wore on, Mushi began to worry that something would happen to Yokomizo without anyone there to help, and took it upon himself to take care of him. Yokomizo’s urgency to finish his writing became more desperate, yet Mushi tried to keep him from pushing himself, which somewhat worked – there was an unspoken understanding that both were trying to put off the inevitable; for Mushi, it was out of utter denial of losing him and of what he’d have to do, and for Yokomizo, it was out of a sorrowful desire to spend as much time with Mushi as he still could, and guilt for the tremendously selfish and cruel thing he was ultimately asking of him, even as both of these emotions fought with his stubborn desire to go out the way he wanted to.

Mushi’s façade of hatred towards Yokomizo after killing him, although mostly a coping mechanism to distance himself from him and his grief, is not entirely without basis: a small part of him did want to genuinely hate Yokomizo for forcing this upon him, though ultimately a much larger part of him simply hated himself for doing something so unspeakable to the person he called his friend, even if it was asked of him.

Yokomizo, however, wanted Mushi to hate him over all, even if he never said this outright. The months leading up to his death were filled with worry for his friend, for the person who was essentially like a younger family member to him (not exactly a little brother, but… something akin to that. Although they’re probably around the same age, I feel like Yokomizo was more mature (not in every way though of course), and was protective over Mushi in a lot of ways); he knew Mushi very well, and he knew that Mushi would not cope well with his death at all, let alone what he was asking of him – he already wasn’t coping well. Mushi always had walls up and pretended to be arrogant, pretended to be selfish and not care about anyone but himself, but Yokomizo was the one person he was comfortable around, and he had long since practically become home for him: although their time together was never anything extravagant, he was able to bring him out of his shell, and force him to do and think about things he never would have otherwise, giving them both a happiness they each would have never otherwise known for so many years. But then that fragile peace they had together, that safety net, was being cruelly ripped away from them both, and the thought that Mushi would go back to being lonely, closed-off, and isolated after he was gone, drowning in his grief and with no one else to support him anymore, was more devastating to Yokomizo than even the fact that he was dying. As cruel and selfish as asking Mushi to kill him for his perfect crime was, I think a part of him felt it would be even crueler to force Mushi to watch him slowly wither away from illness (and he, too, dreaded and was terrified of having to go out like that, after so much drawn-out pain), and he selfishly hoped that Mushi’s hatred of him for forcing this upon him would overcome his grief, and the inevitable self-loathing he would have – yes, Mushi could hate him, needed to hate him, anything to keep him from hating himself. Of course, Yokomizo knew that wouldn’t happen, because Mushi was far too kind, far too caring, and far too selfless – anyone who would do so much for him for so many years as he had, especially after he became ill, and would willingly agree to go as far as to essentially euthanize him for his selfish final dream, no matter how much all of it hurt him, was truly the greatest friend anyone could ask for. Mushi was and is a beautifully selfless person, but he himself could never see it – only Yokomizo could, and so he knew exactly how he would respond, and worried about him immensely because of it. And that worry made him want to try to distance himself from Mushi as much as possible, to die as soon as possible, even, so it wouldn’t be even harder on him than it already would be… but in the end what won over that was his desire to make as many happy memories with him as possible in those final months, so they could somehow try to forget about what was coming, if only briefly; so that Yokomizo could, maybe, somehow, in some small way, believe that Mushi would be okay in the end after he was gone. :’ )

Continuing this, as part of those memories, I headcanon Yokomizo liked to dance with Mushi a lot, since there’s some art of them doing that 💚 Mushi also took Yokomizo out to various quiet place, like to see fireworks or the beach. He canonically doesn’t like the smell of the salty sea air (why? I have no clue), but I hc Yokomizo loved the sea, so Mushi went with him there at least once oops my Yokomizo Oda similarity headcanons are showing-

Yokomizo wanted Mushi to be happy, but it also worried him that his friend clearly bottled everything up and never allowed himself to cry, either. So seeing him cry in his last moments was a huge weight off his shoulders, and was somehow what ultimately convinced him that Mushi would one day be okay again. :’ )

At some point, probably multiple times, Mushi and Yokomizo had a discussion where Mushi tried to make sure that Yokomizo truly, sincerely wanted him to do what he was asking of him. Around and around, trying to talk him out of it, insisting that he hadn’t truly thought it through, but Yokomizo was always gently steadfast. After they settled on strangulation (poison, aside from being ruled out for the sake of the reader, was not what Yokomizo preferred when his body was already painfully killing itself from the inside), Mushi tried to suggest that he be given a strong sleeping pill/sedative before being killed so that he wouldn’t feel it, but Yokomizo insisted against it, as it would imply sympathy on the part of the killer, which couldn’t happen. His sickly state, although it wasn’t yet public while he was still alive, would already suggest a mercy killing and was putting the plan/general reception at risk enough as it was. </3

After killing Yokomizo, Mushi handled his body ever-so-delicately, tenderly, almost reverently, just as he had many times before while carrying him, as he strung him up the way he was instructed, and even as he cut off his ears. He took his time doing it, wanting to hold his friend close and memorize what he looked like for as long as he possibly could in these final moments, even though he felt like his hands didn’t have the right to touch him anymore. Then, after everything was in place and he’d fled the premises with the manuscript, he promptly threw up somewhere. :’ )

Yokomizo was the second person to give him the nickname “Mushi”, after Mushi’s father. No one else ever calls him that now; it’s a name reserved only for them.

Mushi struggles while trying to write at Poe’s mansion out of a feeling of inferiority compared to Yokomizo; writing and mysteries were never his passion, they were Yokomizo’s, and he was just indulging the latter’s hobbies. He has no right to claim the role of writer for himself, not now that he’s gone and when he was only ever in it for Yokomizo to begin with… and there’s no possible way he can ever create anything good or original, when they’d already talked at length about how everything in the mystery genre had already been done, and Yokomizo himself created the ultimate mystery that no one could ever possible top, least of all him.

But Poe knows that what he writes doesn’t need to be perfect or even good; Mushi only needs to do it as a form of therapy for himself, because it will bring him closer to his deceased friend, since mysteries are what they enjoyed most when he was alive. (and I honestly think Poe would understand and empathize Mushi very well, having been so isolated and lonely in the past himself before Ranpo essentially saved him just as Yokomizo did for him) Once he’s able to convey that to him, it gradually comes more naturally to Mushi and becomes comforting for him as Poe intended. 💚

Mushi forms a reluctant friendship with Karl over the course of his stay with Poe (inspired by this person’s art series of them together 🥹). It starts with Karl trying to help the first time Mushi has a nightmare there, and after that he starts bothering him/trying to get his attention in general, until Mushi slowly gives in, becoming begrudgingly fond of the little creature. Whenever he’s having a hard time, whether it be a nightmare or a panic attack or just listlessness, Karl is usually there for him, as his own personal therapy raccoon. 💚

To add to that, Mushi canonically dislikes thunder; I headcanon that when they were together during storms, Yokomizo always made sure to be even more chatty than usual, to distract Mushi from his fear of the noise. Once he’s at Poe’s mansion, when it storms, he suddenly realizes how much louder and scarier the thunder feels now… but of course he doesn’t let it show. Karl, however, notices his discomfort, and is there for him during storms now. :’ )

Post-series, in general, Mushi always brings treats for Karl whenever he meets up with Poe again. 💚

A headcanon plenty of people have, but Ango is absolutely crucial to Mushi’s journey of healing. Post-series, they have quite a few talks about their respective situations, and Ango is the one person Mushi ultimately (after enough time, of course) bears the most of his soul and his pain to, because Ango can empathize with him and understand his guilt/self-loathing/sorrow in a way none of the others can. Earlier on, Ango checks on Mushi the most (Ranpo and Poe do too though) to make sure that he’s taking care of himself, just like he occasionally does/did with Dazai.

Mushi starts wearing traditional clothes more often after Yokomizo’s death, including a few old things that used to belong to him, that are comforting to Mushi.

There aren’t many public photos of Yokomizo, since he was a rather private author. There is, however, only one single personal photo of him, one he roped a grumpy Mushi into taking with him once, his own expression being as sunshine-y and exuberant as always in contrast. Mushi cherishes it now :’ ) oops the buraiha trio vibes strike again

Because of his period of dealing with Yokomizo’s terminal illness, Mushi has some medical-related knowledge that the average person probably wouldn’t. It isn’t the kind of thing he wants to dwell on after Yokomizo’s death, and he can’t stand being around hospitals, for obvious reasons, but regardless, whether he’s consciously aware of it or not, he is especially compassionate/understanding towards those who are sick and disabled that he encounters. His time with Yokomizo has given him perspectives and philosophies about life that he wouldn’t otherwise have, and when he’s not trying to write strictly mysteries, it’s the sort of things that are evident in his writing. In a way, writing about it in general is healing for him, separate from mysteries being comforting to him solely because they’re associated with Yokomizo.

At some point, Mushi starts visiting Yokomizo’s grave together with Ango, Poe, and Ranpo, or sometimes just Ango. Similarly, he, Poe and Ranpo join Ango in visiting Oda’s grave. He and Ango each tell stories about their respective lost loved ones, so that more people will learn about and remember who they once were. 💚

With his ability, Ango is able to read the memories within the room Yokomizo was living in (or perhaps in objects Mushi owns), and see numerous happy memories he had with Mushi, long before his illness and death. With what he sees and conveys, Poe is able to write a small story of the memory, which he then gives to Mushi, allowing him to go into the story and relive the memory and see Yokomizo again for the first time in years. It’s not the real Yokomizo, and Mushi knows this – he’s long since stopped seeing the hallucination of him, because he’s healed enough by this point. But even so, just knowing that the book is there, that he can see his friend moving and talking again whenever he wishes – a version of Yokomizo that is just as happy and bright and energetic as he always remembered, without suffering from illness – is the greatest gift and kindness he could ever imagine receiving, and from his new friends no less, and it’s enough to make him cry, from how loved he truly is :’ ) 💚

I love Mushitarou sooooo much, and I truly hope he gets more attention in the future (can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode!!), because his story is so touching and his character so relatable and comforting 🥹 and I sincerely hope he finds his ultimate happiness in the manga one day. Happy birthday, you sweet, sentimental, pathetic (affectionate), goofy little gremlin man 💚

[cq-studios]

2. 🍄 Describe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

7. 🖍 Post any sentence from your wip

2. Imprisonment + Friendship building = Unlikely Friend

7. Strelitzia. The name rang in his head like bells, reverberating through his whole body. Something about it was familiar, important.

Very important.

This is a line from a fic I’m writing about Ven and amatonormativity. Kinda a stupid concept where Ven hyperfocuses on Strelitzia (when she gets back with Sora post-KH4) because he can sense she has some connection to his past, and everyone thinks it’s a crush because she makes him nervous and het-norm and Atatonormativity. It doesn’t really make sense if you look to deep into it, but I have fun using the concept to make Ven uncomfortable (and bond with Kairi) lol

[souenkun]

Life update: my brain feels like scrambled eggs but I've also started going on short walks with my cat, and it turns out to be a nice routine. Apologies to messages and ao3 comments that I haven't been able to reply; I'll get to them soon! 🫂

[basiltonpitch]

opening the second chances fic doc after barely writing anything this week and remembering why i was so stuck :) sigh :) i absolutely love trying to connect little bits and pieces of unfinished scenes that are written out of order :))) why am i like this :))))))

[adhara2034]

I see far too many people write bilingual/multilingual people like 'oh sorry, it's hard to switch back sometimes', and I'm here to tell you that that isn't really what happens. So, I'm here to teach you how to write multilingual people realistically. (As a multilingual person myself)

1. We can, and will, begin sentences in one language, them go to another and then another. I personally find I do this when I'm not speaking my first language.

For example, I will go like this. "Hola, conas atá tú?" Which is two very different languages smashed together into the same sentance. Think of Spanglish.

2. Sometimes, our brains go into certain language modes. We could be trying to speak in one language, but our brain is only supplying another languages words.

For example, I have been doing Irish tests, and my brain is like, 'mmh, what if I only supply you with Spanish words?' And visa versa.

This can also happen when speaking. I have had moments of questioning my entire being because I could be trying to speak english (my first language) and can only think of a word in Spanish or something.

3. We can get languages confused. If a word sounds like it belongs in one language, chances are we will use said word.

For example, the Spanish word 'con' has been found in a lot of my Irish homework.

This happened a lot when a person is learning two languages at the same time. I remember learning French and Spanish at the same time and confusing the words a lot.

4. We will default to saying things in another language. Our brains just hardwire certain greetings or sayings in certain languages.

For example, I default to counting in Spanish, and I can't remember the last time I said Oh my God in English.

Overall, being multilingual is a lot more than just 'oops forgot to switch back'. It's way more annoying.