#look from what I know their relationship was quite intense with a lot of drama and mutual jealousy

[thewritingpossum]

Why is this Catherine in litterally all of her scenes with Potemkin? 😭

[moonastro]

Juno persona chart

mars in the houses

what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.

mars in the planet of passion, ones drive and desires. in the juno persona chart, mars determines the energy of the relationship, intimacy and possible conflicts that may occur.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

**also this can also be used for signs as well, for example if mars in persona chart is in scorpio, read what applies to the 8th house as it may resonate as well.

18+

mars in 1st house: the couples energy in the relationship is full of passion like literally. this house is literally ruled by mars so the energy is intense. very full of energy, full of support from both parties when it comes to ones interests. intimacy is full of power and can be quite tough also, lots of verbality during it. lots of sweating, like A LOT. but it can last very quick also, so the duration of intimacy can be very quick. also during the process the pace can be very fast and rough. since this house is an adrenaline rush house, so performing the act in places that are risky or you know that you may get caught, that may cause a rush to both parties that make them feel alive. conflicts may occur due to being too dominant in the marriage maybe being too demanding or being too rough on their spouse, this may cause some serious arguments, it can even become physical so be careful with that. also being argumentative about ones self centred mindset, lots of vulgar words can be used during arguments.

spouse can have natal mars in aries, 1st house, fire sign or a fire house.

mars in 2nd house: the energy in this marriage is calming and chill. this reminds me of just getting each other and vibing from day one. but on a serious note, intimacy is very sensual and very slow paced. can be very graceful in a way?? also this couple may be into food related s*x so including food as a source of technique. intimacy may last quite along time and can be full of neck and collar bone kisses. conflicts may occur due to disagreements in financial areas and possessions. so for example one party may have an overly excessive tendency to over shop or get stuff that they don't need and so their spouse may get angry about it. also arguments may happen due to financial situations like having problems with the bank or contracts.

spouse can have natal mars in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or an earth house.

mars in 3rd house: passion in this relationship is quick and versatile. can be lots of changes and adaptations to their passion. during intimate hours, it is very rushed. almost wanting for more after intimacy is finished. i feel like also this placement can change their mind a lot when it comes to being intimate, like saying one thing but doing the other because they changed their mind. also there can be lots of talking while being intimate so lots of grunts, screaming and talking in general, just anything to do with talking can possibly occur. conflicts may occur due to sibling drama or something that happens in the neighbourhood. arguments may start from this placement just constantly talking like in general maybe too much talking or just oversharing to other people and their spouse gets angry at the personal things that are being shared to their friends. also conflicts may happen due to friends, so maybe this placement may not like the friends that their partner hangs out with or they don't like how they act and stuff like that.

spouse can have natal mars in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.

mars in 4th house: the overall passion of this marriage is taking care of each other and being there for each other emotionally. lots of reflection on each other so checking up on each other even if the other person is completely fine, this placement tends to never ignore their gut instinct. intimacy is very sentimental and slow, almost careful as not to hurt the other person or each other. there may be lots of chest techniques involved (i'll let that proceed with your imagination) possibly, intimacy is very full of praise and the person will never go too far for what their partner can handle, always checking up on them also during it and maybe lots of stroking on the head to signify that their partner is doing good. (okayy i think i just went overboard but you get the gist). in terms of conflict, arguments usually arrive from problems with their family members, for example maybe this placements mother and them got into an argument about something and their partner got angry that way and so forth. conflicts also occur when their is a lack of emotional awareness of each other and oneself, maybe this placement got too overwhelmed or stressed and just broke out in anger and start conflict that way.

spouse can have natal mars in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house

mars in 5th house: the passion between the couple is very open, very playful but can also be that this placement thinks that the relationship evolves around them, that their the main character. of course being the main character is awesome but in this situation its more about only thinking about themselves and not thinking about others. this may cause conflict due to this placement possibly being too braggy or too self-centred and maybe thinking of only themselves. intimacy is full of noises and they make sure to show their partner that they are enjoying themselves. lots of hair pulling and hair stroking. also lots of gripping of the back. this placements just likes to make their partner own them. also arguments may start due to disagreements about children, maybe they don't want children but one does. or maybe they have different hobbies that they do and arguments about their hobbies and how they spend their free time.

spouse can have natal mars in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.

mars in 6th house: the passion in this marriage is based on routine and daily life schedules. intimacy is quite structured and very based on how the individuals daily routine went like, so it depends if they have time to fit it in kind of way into their busy day. this placement tends to also acknowledge positions that feel good to both parties, nothing that goes out of their comfort zone. oh and the aftercare is very important for this placement, very concerned about how their partner felt during it and after it so they take their time to make sure they feel as special. conflict may occur due to health illnesses or sickness. maybe an illness is preventing this placement to do certain things and so their spouse may get angry about it. or arguments may start due to laziness or promises not being kept.

spouse can have natal mars in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.

mars in 7th house: this placement is very confusing. one minute the couple are fine and getting along and bonding but i kid you not it can be in a second span between them getting along to roaring each others throats out. you get the best of both worlds, what is bad without good? no but this house rules over balance and expect very very versatile energy in this relationship. but when the couple is thriving the connection between the two is very romantic and sweet, very flirtation, LOTS of flirting. also in bed its quite sensual and nothing too extreme or kinky, i would say that when it comes to being intimate both parties are in a good mood to do it, no anger s*x or anything like that unless other factors and aspects disagree. nothing too dirty either, maybe lots of flirting while doing it and dirty talking also. conflicts occur due to getting mad that the other person doesn't give back what they are given, for example when their spouse gets an 'i love you' and they don't say it back and that sort of thing. also arguments about government complications such as legal documents, the law and so forth.

spouse may have natal mars in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.

mars in 8th house: passion between the two is intense and spiritual. lots of transformation happening when intimacy occurs. even when it comes to the first time when being intimate, it can be such a different and intense occurrence and very meaningful also. this is the house of s*x so intimacy is very sexual, very intense lots of trauma being released so it can be quite emotional. energy in the relationship can be quite secretive, perhaps the other does not trust one with specific things or would rather talk with someone else about it than their partner. on the other hand it can be very money based, the individual may rule over their partners money and even their card. their finances have big presence in their marriage, this individual may be driven by money and is always in control of it either if its their own money or their partners. overall energy in this marriage is transformative also.

spouse can have natal mars in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.

mars in 9th house: passion between the couple is very versatile and very explorative, both parties are down for new positions, techniques and styles in terms of intimacy and are very open minded about them. intimacy can be very fun and exciting, maybe lots of giggles and teasing involved. also when performing intimacy, it may occur in different places, for example like the counter in the kitchen or literally while doing laundry and you just make out like?? literally any place you can imagine, this placement will probably be down for it. as for the energy of the relationship, it very travel and learning based, lots of learning learning learning. this house is ruled by jupiter so very abundant in lots of areas of life (check sign for greater detail). for example if 9th house is in capricorn (and so would mars) then career may thrive, getting respect from people after marriage, having luck in formal situations and finance documents, becoming more mature, receiving recognition for your talents and so forth. if in cancer then the individual may become more caring, be blessed with a family, have greater relations with females, have a greater perception of ones emotions and so on. conflicts may often occur due to indifferences in culture, beliefs and morals. not agreeing on the same location when going on a trip or over getting mad about factual stuff. arguments can start out as jokes and then develop into serious arguments as one can take it too far. so arguments about silly things that may not have significant meaning, (for example arguing over why the other party sneezed too loud??)

spouse may have natal mars in Sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.

mars in 10th house: energy of this marriage is full of passion in their career. very successful career and career driven. ready to provide for their family and ready to provide their spouse with income. intimacy is very traditional, very modern and most likely this placement has a schedule of when they do it like on a specific day every week and so forth. also this placement rarely changes their style and technique when being intimate so its most likely the same every time. this placement also likes to baby their partner and be a 'parent' to them, taking care of them and giving them privileges. this also applies during intimacy. conflicts usually occur due to career difficulties, for example, maybe they didn't take up a new job opportunity or maybe they didn't get paid the extra for what they worked for and things like that. also conflicts may occur due to problems with their father, this placements father may bring something that angers their spouse or them.

spouse can have natal mars in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.

mars in 11th house: energy of the relationship is unique to them. others may have different opinions about this relationship and lots of outside banter of this relationship. for example people just pin point details that they think is wrong with the relationship. intimacy is quite out of the blue can happen spontaneously which makes it very exciting. lots of different things could be taking place when intimacy occurs. like using some equipment or having like toys for it. conflicts may occur due to opinionated views about humanitarian stuff like not agreeing on not enough help is going on about in the world and the other one may disagree and so on. also arguments about their social groups, perhaps this placement is not pleased with how their partners social group act and they may tell them stuff that they don't like about them. also problems with social media status, arguments about what their partner posts on social media or how they interact with their social media platforms.

spouse can have natal mars in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.

mars in 12th house: the energy of this relationship is full of dreaminess, due to this house being a delusion house, this placement can have the tendency to have unrealistic expectations of their partner, always thinking the opposite of what is real, for example if this placement spouse doesn't help out with laundry, they can get mad but later on they'll think that they will do it next time you know? also conflicts may occur due to addiction problems, perhaps this placement has a smoking or alcohol addition and their spouse may not like it and they argue about that. also arguments may occur due to illusion problems, sometimes this placement may say stuff that's not true (nearly like they just made it up) and make up a full story about something that their spouse or someone else did but in REALITY nothing like that happened, this type of behaviour may cause conflict between the couple. on the other hand, this placement also has a passion to live abroad and may thrive better overseas with their partner.

spouse may have natal mars in pisces, 12th house, water sign or water house.

thanks so much for reading, have a lovely day 🫶🏻

[loveemagicpeace]

🥃Astrological Things☁️🥥

🎨Fire signs are full of passion and life and everything they do involves passion. And they don't like being with people who are too serious and down to earth. They always say "okay lets do this". They love to do things and are there for all the drama and action and will always do crazy things with you.

🍬Mercury in Aries are very honest and straightforward. With them, you will always know where you are and what is happening. Everything you ask them, you will get a direct answer. They seem to me to be the most sincere and true with words.

🌙You will feel most comfortable and familiar with people with which you have 4th house synastry. With these you will feel the warmth and feel as if they will always be there for you. You'll feel like they've known you forever. You can feel this with your friends as if they were your brothers or sisters. It's home vibes so u two can be homies or family. Your family can look at them as part of the family. I think this is very beautiful synastry for relationships & friendships.

🫧Pluto in the 1st house - in the early period of your life you will face many trials. Many people may put you down or not treat you well. Many times I have noticed that they experience contempt from people or people humiliate them. Their early life can be quite difficult - they can attract many people who are jealous of them and wish them ill. You achieve strength later in life. But you transform yourself throughout your life and become an ever stronger person.

✨The difference between capricorn rising and scorpio rising is that capricorns will always get respect. What is one thing i have noticed that no matter what - they always get the respect of others and will always want to be respected. You will make an impression on other people with your silence. You're not going to do anything and you're just going to kill people with your looks. Your energy is very strong. Scorpios, however, want power, and with that they can go through anything to achieve it. Many times their energy can be too intense and tense. A lot of times they do something related to intimacy. Scoprio rising - intimate areas, sexuality..mc leo - sex, playfulness, visibility. Scorpio wants power & Capricorn wants respect.

🔥Mars in 1st house & Mars in 12th house - the difference is that someone who has Mars in the 1st house comes forward angry, aggressive, scary. But he is aware of his anger, which means that whatever he does, he is aware of his limits and how far he can go. Mars in the 12th house, on the other hand, hides its anger and anger manifests itself in many ways. These people can be much more scary and dangerous when someone makes them angry. Many times I notice that these people have at least one contact with weapons or they like it. They like guns. These people could have a collection of guns.

🌛Cancer & taurus moon are similar in that they both will leave if they don't feel the energy in the room of people or wherever they are and both moons don't like to go out with strangers or with really big group of people. They prefer to be with only one person. They both love food and movies. Both of them have a sense of security and always take care of the people around them.

🌱Cancer rising- you are more of an introverted person, prefer to keep back and do not like to be in the company of strangers. You need your own space and I have noticed many times that these people do not like to drive strangers in their car or go to the vacation with them. They don't like it when people invade their private space.

🌼Venus and Cancer - these people are enthusiastic about children, they have a good feeling for children. They immediately immerse themselves in the conversation with them. They are very family oriented.

🥥Capricorn moon people have a lot of empathy towards people. A very friendly moon, otherwise they can be too focused on work and the things they have, but they are very friendly.

🫐Virgo placements especially rising sign a lot of times they are insecure about their body and how they look like. Also a lot of times they don't like taking pictures of themselves for example : for the men -without shirt on it and for woman the body parts the chest or belly. Or any part of the body that is intimate. But a lot of times it's the upper part of the body. Many times they are also very critical of their bodies. I think they have a very beautiful body, but they are too critical of themselves about their appearance. And they look very sexy when they have messy hair!

☁️Taurus/ sagittarius/ virgo placements especially venuses will be very critical of the bodies of other person like they would see the details of the person's body. For example: you like someone's arms and fingers - and the person will gain weight in their arms and suddenly you won't like it anymore, or they will have a too thick neck or their legs will be too muscular - You will see certain flaws on the person's body that you will no longer like. Hard to explain, but there are little things that they notice. Also, if the person goes on beauty corrections or something similar, it can quickly turn them away from the person.

💕Libra placements can sometimes be a little too obsessed with being liked by everyone and having a lot of people around them. Sometimes I have the feeling that they are too obsessed with the fact that people have to love them. They need the love from others way to much. And I have a feeling that sometimes they can be even more obsessed with perfection than virgos. The difference between libras and leos are that libras need people's attention. While Leos need attention to themselves, to be seen for their talents. Or that one person they really love.

🎯Aries in the other hand will always be honest and direct. But people often find them selfish because they focus more on themselves than on the people around them. And yes they could be but also when they love you and they find a connection with you, they will give you a lot of their energy. The difference is that Aries will only give their energy to people they really like and suit them. While libras will give their energy to everyone.

🍿The general energy between fire signs and air signs is that air signs can get along with everyone and will give everyone the same energy. Fiery signs are picky when it comes to people and will only give their energy to those they really like and will find passion with.

🧊8th house synastry create an energy like you have to have this person to yourself. And if the person is not only yours, you can quickly start showing jealousy. You want it to be just your person and you don't want to share it with any other person. These two people, even if they want to, cannot alienate themselves from each other. You cannot let go of this person even if you try. I mean it's very hard to go if you have a powerful relationship with this person.

🧃Geminis are very comfortable talking on the phone in front of other people. They always don't care if someone is around or listening to them. Many times they talk about very personal topics and don't care if anyone is listening.

☁️It's actually the earth signs that hides the most pain in themselves because they never talk about feelings out loud. They don't want to bother other people with their emotions and feelings and all of it. They want to be strong for others especially Moon signs and that's why they never talk about feeling so openly because they always feel this pressure they they have to be strong.

⭐️The signs you have a love-hate relationship with are actually the signs that will give you the most love and growth. For ex.: you have leo in your 8th house and you just hate their energy sometimes or how they made you feel. And all the times characteristics that they have bothers you and they will say all the wrong things to you and you will be like” I just hate them so much”but you will find out that this signs will actually do the most sacrifice for you. They will be the most loyal to you & you will have with them the most deep relationship of all the people in your life.

-Rebekah💗🦋🫧

[hunieday]

Momo - Drama Collection (Winter) Rabbit Chat

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Momo: Good work, Torao! Hope you enjoy your time today at the drinking party 😆

Momo: I'm super looking forward to drinking with the drama cast! 💯 ✨

Mido Torao: I’m also looking forward to it.

Mido Torao: Seems like Nikaido and Yaotome will be late though, did you hear about that?

Momo: I did! They said they're busy with work~!

Momo: Is it okay if it's just the two of us until they come ⁉ Or do you want me to invite the super handsome special guest Y-san ⁉

Mido Torao: Yuki-san huh…

Mido Torao: Um

Mido Torao: I want to be alone with you, is that okay?

Momo: ba-dum...

Momo: I was joking around to lighten the mood, but Momo-chan got all giddy... 

Momo: I’m not cheating on you, darling ‼ 😭 💦

Mido Torao: You were joking huh…

Momo: But thanks for saying you’re okay with just the two of us alone 👍✨ I'm really looking forward to drinking with you!!

Mido Torao: Thank you. I'm looking forward to it too

Momo: Huh!? Really!? 

Mido Torao: Yes

Momo: What should I do!!! I feel like Momo-chan is wrapped around Torao’s fingers... 🥺

Mido Torao: no i’m not HAHA

Momo: 

Momo: But you know, you've become cute! You’re a lot rounder around the edges nowadays

Mido Torao: Are you saying I got fat!?

Mido Torao: I mean yeah, the other members keep giving me unusual snacks to eat lately...

Momo: that’s not what i meant lolololol you’re already cute lololol

Momo: By the way, what kinda snacks are you getting? 🤭

Mido Torao: Puffed rice? They come in pouches and are crispy and delicious.

Momo: Puffed rice~~!! How nostalgic! Makes me wanna go to a candy store (*ﾉωﾉ)

Momo: Tell me more stories over drinks okay!

Mido Torao: Got it. I also have something I want to talk to you about

Mido Torao: I’d like you to teach me a lot more about acting.

Momo: Torao... 🥺 ✨

Momo: Now that you mention it, you know, Yuki liked Torao's role and found it really interesting! 

Momo: "I thought he'd stop Momo from recklessly breaking into someone else's territory alone, but he charged in head first" he looked like he enjoyed watching it 😂

Mido Torao: The part where I ride my bike and blurt out, "I’ll be the one who paves the way for the leader" right?

Momo: Yes yes! Vice-leader-kun is quite reckless!

Mido Torao: Of course his followers would be bloodthirsty when their leader’s like that.

Momo: Well, the leader is a tiiiiiny bit of a rascal, isn’t he? 😅 💪

Mido Torao: a bit is the understatement of the century.

Mido Torao: Chasing after the enemies up a three meters high wall, jump-kicking them from the stairs... I thought it was quite the violent script

Momo: right lolol the action scenes sure were intense~~!!

Momo: I tried my best to follow your example 😤💪

Mido Torao: My example?

Momo: That's right! Watching Torao work so hard on his stunts motivated me!

Mido Torao: Is that so...

Mido Torao: I was an inspiration for Re:vale…

Momo: Are you getting fired up?

Mido Torao: Burning hot.

Momo: Just! too cute!!! 😆 😆

Momo: Apparently our relationship was popular on SNS too ;P🫰

Mido Torao: Really? What were they saying?

Momo: "Vice-leader-kun always standing next to the leader with a smug smile, they’re my bias!" (1)

Mido Torao: There it is, “they’re my bias”. What’s a bias? what the hell does that mean?

Momo: there it is lololololol

Mido Torao: I’m curious. I heard Haruka use it the other day too.

Momo: It means someone you like the most! 😆 saying “bias” sounds stronger than just saying “love”~!

Mido Torao: I see. It does feel more intense.

Momo: How about you start using it, Torao!

Mido Torao: In what situation would I even use it?

Momo: For example...

Momo: It’s everyone’s bias, Momo-chan! ;P 🫶 🫶

Mido Torao: I don’t think that’s for me…

Momo: That’s not true!!! Just try saying it for a bit!!

Mido Torao: I’m your bias, Mido Torao.

Momo: 

Momo: 

Mido Torao: I’m not sure about this one…

Momo: No it's really good!!!!!???

Momo: But well, your fans are most likely looking for a strong and cool Torao (*ﾉωﾉ) 🤎

Mido Torao: Well, I’m confident that I can make someone fall in love with me just by standing there and not saying a word.

Momo: Nice, I want to hear tons of stories about the confident Torao 👍

Mido Torao: Hell yeah, later. I’m looking forward to it.

Momo: 

The original conversation went a bit different, Momo ends his message with “好きピ= sukippi”, Momo later on explains that it’s a combination between 好き=suki (like) and ピーポー=people (pi=ピ), which means a “favorite person” even if it’s sometimes used on objects and such. The closest and most “literal” translation would be “fave”, but I doubt Torao wouldn’t know what a fave is so I went with bias instead.

HUGE thank you to Ai (soushibana and chettiri on twitter) for helping me out with the snacks translation! I wouldn't have understood it without her, big props & go check her accounts out!

[astrow0rldx]

Ian Somerhalder Birth Chart Reading

About him & his fans <3

small notes: FUN GUY! would definitely party with him, laugh with him, have fun with, invite. but date? Man whore, oh wow who made him. (Mars in Sag in the 11th. Venus in scorpio in the 9th) Smoke sesh me please, he would definitely open your mind, make you laugh, deep talks, experience all type of things. He is so for the people though it's crazy & he knows it. I personally don't like people who walk around with their PUBLIC status stamped in their mind (not personal self worth), because it can get the best of people, external validation. (Sun, Mercury Mars in the 11th house. Uranus (his chart ruler) & Mercury in the 10th)

Wouldn't be surprised if he was very connected to his character & loved playing Damon Salvatore. maybe attracted to it, and fw it heavily.

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· Experienced Astrologer for 7-8 years now. I'm new to networking, tumblr and having an astrology content account & paid readings so just follow my private Instagram account universalstarbaby00 for any inquiry ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

analysis

Whatever gender you identify as, I know he has a lot of leo rising/venus/moon/sun fans, lilith 1st house/conjunct sun/moon, or jupiter 1st house/conjunct sun/moon because those are also on his descendant/7th house. His outlook & approach on his life so the way people perceive him is very aquarian (Aquarius Rising). His chart ascends & descends at the polarity of individuality. Aquarius is unique, theorize , idealist, creative, because Aquarius needs to revolutionize, invent, so it might wants to be, (just like leo its opposite), the most individual, stand-outish person in the room. As we know (or far as me & everyone I know), he sure stands out in the show & just as a celebrity. Remember this is on his ascendant & not his sun, so its not really his ego, or how he identifies himself. But its his instinctual self on his interactive body that approaches the world. So, since leo is descending, its the type of traits you look for, or attract approaching the world that you can harmonize with, marriage, settle down with, business partner, or just relationships in general. It's also the traits you feel like you lack & will complete you so you look for it in other people. with it being in lilith & jupiter also hes probably attracted to/attracy blessed, open minded, adventurous, femme fatale, woman who are self assured in their desires (sexually liberated to). so while he's this aquarius rising, approaching the world from a "im different" "im different" "don't put me in a box" special lense. He definitely attracts, business partners, bonds, lovers & attracted to the "i will shine, drama queen" "me" "my life" "look what i can do" special lense. the 2 work hand & hand (as narcissist lmfao).

So I feel like the ascendant is how you look, physical traits on your interactive body. your outlook, so maybe how you dress & your aesthetic. TO ME, i think his whole persona is definitely revolutionizing, different & unique.

On that dark kind of vibe we get from him, his mc is in Scorpio. MC is your public image, how you fit in this world. INTENSE & POWERFUL ASL. Think of when your out and about, scrolling on social media & looking at historians & celebrities for how their place is in this world, which can definitely show another vibe, physical trait and part of your aesthetic but more of your AURA. this how HIS FANS, people who don't even know him but HEARD OF HIM gets. usually you don't identify with it since its so public, unless its certain planets in your 10th house. this is his literal reputation. & What is your reputation, social status, known for/rooted in, most likely your social media, and/or career field, and/or a character he's KNOWN FOR. Damon Salvatore, a literal vampire. very scorpionic. quite literally, Scorpio is about possession, whether it be through death & occult, or through sex, possessiveness, power/control. I mean it don't get no more Damon Salvatore than that.

LMAO & his scorpio 10th house is in mercury and uranus. Who is Damon Salvatore? A weird, unique, alienated, stand-out, different, freak (uranus and his CHART RULER) that is very clever, good with his words & conversations, persuasive, MIND CONTROL, his character was alwayssss the one doing the mind compulsions (mercury).

Your 5th house is your hobbies, interest, what type of things you like. Its where you shine & get to be special. so this is also the house of drama, romance, pleasure, etc. Drama, like theater & acting because even in real drama your being dramatic. It can show what type of acting roles you play but more like how you act, like how you would be in theater/drama. Ian Somerhalder for his 5th house cusps lands on the behavior of Gemini. Gemini is 2 faced, gemini is twins, masks, 2 personalities, a whole clown. So basically Damon Salvatore fitting in Mystic falls, being able to play his humanity & vampirism very good like gemini. gemini is also a fast thinker, clever & witty, & represents movement.

Speaking on him being an actor. His asteroid Actor (12238) sextiles his personal planet mercury. Sextiles are when you work with one another, friends, support & grow with one another so it can create opportunities. Actor Sextile his Mercury of his mental mind, movement, & how you think & process, your mindset & brain skills basically which is also how you communicate externally. so he may be really good at thinking like his character. when he is acting especially because mercury rules gemini & his 5th house is in gemini, he definitely knows how to mentally get in the psyche of the character. think, idea, process, act, communicate, talk like his characters. personally he can be really good & analytical at how he understand the roles he has to play & studying his lines. or to the Acting career field in general. Actor also sextiles his planet Jupiter of Luck, Expansion, Blessings, Prosperity. Unfortunately, it opposes his moon. So he may have direct tension with being an actor or his characters and his inner comfort, security & emotions. and not to DROP THE BOMB, but while Actor is growing with his mind & blessings. It lives in the 8th house. of death, occult, sex, psychology, merging, power, control, transformation, rebirth. hmmm. hm. shit fuck damon salvatore. ALLLLL the rest of his acting roles is 8th house vibes, 2001 a teenager gets involved in drugs. movie revolves around a man dying of cancer. rebuilding his life. 2002, a dark sex drama about college kid entanglements, 2009 a sadistic ruthless assasin fight till death, 2014 a mysterious creature in a futuristic conspiracy. scifi thriller. I CAN GO ON.

You know what else 2 planets (i don't have all his asteroids pushed in but planets can be very more main and brief and bigger.) is in the 8th house? Because these are the themes & areas in his life. His North Node & His Saturn. Seem like it was good for him because a lot of his life purpose & lessons. what he's to become & his karma lives in the 8th house. Saturn is also about authoritative, control, lessons, karma, sucess, responsibility. its where you gotta be on top of your shit. So most likely that energy is where you express in your career field, in your life, responsibly.

The fairies & the mermaids & the vampires & the unicorns that deceive all represent the 12th house. This is the house of spirituality, astral projection, subconcious, dreams, fantasies, inspiration, day dreams, tv shows, all that dreamy energy. In his chart, Abundantia, Apollo, Sekhmet & Aura lives there. Abundantia is what makes you most abundant, where to find your gold. He definitely fount it in a spiritual way, tapping into that energy. Apollo is your shiny, talent energy that you have gifts in. Sekhmet is originally the first vampire here on earth, an ancient Egyptian goddess. And Aura, is your aura. so those asteroids/characters definitely touched his subconcious, dreams, fantasies, astral/spiritual self.

[lovejosephquinn]

Ooooh can we get some angst up in here? Maybe Joe and the readers first fight/most intense fight? There’s a lot of tears and saying things neither one of them means, but they don’t make up? (I live for angst)

You’re an excellent writer btw 🥰 x

I'm not a huge writer of angst so I really don't know how this is going to go lmao, sorry if it's bad 👀

Thank you for the love, you're too sweet 😘 x

Read Part 2 Here.

It was safe to say that it was officially one of the worst evenings of your life, you walked out of the party of Joe's friend that you'd promised to go to, sure you'd only been dating a couple of months, but he'd spent weeks begging you to go with him, admitting that it would be good for you to spend time with his friend circle and get to know them since he was exceedingly close to them. But then within a couple of hours into the gathering he was the most ignorant pig you'd ever met.

You'd befriended a girl there who sat and chatted to you when Joe got up to go chat with some people that had arrived late, leaving you an anxious mess on the sofa tucked in the corner of the biggish lounge area.

You watched as one of the girls, a redhead who appeared to be getting to close and personal with him as soon as she laid her eyes on him, too much for your liking. You stared the both of them down as he pulled her into a tight hug, you tried to shake it off until she started to touch his chest when he said something that made her laugh or cup his cheek when she liked the sound of something.

"Who's she?" you outright asked to the girl sat beside you.

"Oh. Her. That's his ex-girlfriend from school, she's always been a bit obsessed with him. Bit of a weird one actually."

"Weird? Obsessed? In what way?"

"Well, once they broke up, she ruined every other relationship he had through school, but he never saw fault in her, guess that's typical Joe, always seeing the good in people."

"She sounds terrible."

"I'd like to hope she's grown up out of her childish dramas, but-"

You cut the girl off and got up, wandering over to Joe and stood beside him. He completely ignored that you had put your arm around his waist and carried on catching up with the girl you clearly already detested.

"And who's this?" she muttered at Joe, her eyes giving you a dead look as if you'd ruined their 'moment'.

"Oh, this is Y/N, a very close friend." Joe winked at you, and you couldn't possibly believe what you'd just been referred as. You scoffed at Joe, both of them looking at you now. She knew full well who you really were to him but seemed to relish in the fact he'd only referred to you as a friend.

"Hm, pretty. I'm Joe's ex, good to meet you."

"My ex from about 13 years ago and never lets me forget it."

She snatched onto his arm, her laugh so fake. "Couldn't possibly miss out on seeing our Joseph here when he's in the big leagues now after chasing it for so long."

So that's it. That's why she was here. After Joe now he was famous.

"Can I talk to you for a minute please?" you stared at Joe and then back to the redhead, "privately."

Joe took you over to one side. "What's your problem? If looks could kill Y/N." He whispered lowly so no one overheard.

"Are you fucking serious? A 'close friend'? Don't want your precious cow of an ex knowing who I am?"

"Don't be horrible, she was trying to be nice."

"I'm sorry what? Why are you sticking up for her? And why am I not introduced as your girlfriend, who even are you right now?"

His ex-came skipping over and wrapped herself around Joe's arm, grinning an evil smirk your way. "Joe, come on we really need to catch up."

"Hold on a second." Joe muttered bluntly, not even shaking her off his arm.

"Y/N I-"

"Save it, you prick." You swerved back round to the girl, not willing to take any more of this shit. "Hi, you devious little slag I'm Y/N, I'm Joe's girlfriend. He's clearly to blind to see how much of an awful person you really are. I don't know what he sees in you, and I don't like who he is around you so you're quite welcome to this version of him."

With that, before you could make any more rash decisions, you walked away, you left out the front door almost instantly. Realising you'd left your bag, you jogged back in stealthily to fetch it and just out of your peripheral vision you noticed the two of them stood in the kitchen doorway, his eyes tense as he looked like he was trying to explain something your ears couldn't quite catch on to, you hovered behind a crowd of people watching her rise up to wrap her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes as she kissed him square on the lips, Joe pushed her away and before you witnessed anything else you made a direct route through everyone and shoved the girl down to the floor, spitting in her face and slapping Joe across the face.

"Don't you ever talk to me again, don't you ever come near me again."

"Y/N!" Joe yelled, his eyes tearing up as you left the house once more. He ran out after you this time, catching up to you and clutching at your arm trying to pull you back, you fell to the floor as tears streamed down your face. He knelt down beside you, trying his best to get a look in at you but your hair covered the majority of your features.

"Let me explain, I-"

"Don't even, I don't want to hear your shit excuses."

"She kissed me, I tried to get her off. I saw right through her bullshit in that second, I missed it every other time she ruined my life and I'm sorry, I'm sorry for what I called you, I'm so god damn sorry, I guess deep down I knew all along I was just being the nice guy but instead I was hurting people that didn't deserve it."

"You're full of shit Quinn, you really are."

"Don't fucking come at me like that, you were being a bitch too. Let's just go back to my flat where we can talk properly." You didn't need to hear another word. He gripped onto your fist to try and get you up off your feet, but you nudged him away harshly which caused Joe to fall off balance and onto his backside.

You stood up over him, watching his guilty face. You knew deep down he didn't kiss her back and that he wouldn't have gone that far, you hoped deep, deep down. But if he couldn't show you off as his girlfriend now even to his crazy ex, then when could he?

"I'm going back to MY flat, as I said before, I don't want to hear from you again."

"So, what does that mean?" Tears began to reflect that of your own from his apologetic eyes.

"That this," you pointed between the two of you. "Whatever 'this' is, is done."

You left him sobbing in the middle of the street, ignoring his calls, ignoring every message that pinged through to your phone. He knew well enough to leave you alone whilst you were stewed on things normally, but this was the first fight you'd ever had and looked to the last, the heartache knowing that he'd done wrong in a certain sense was enough to blow up your device.

You considered so many times calling Joe back that night, but you never did. You knew from the bottom of your heart he wasn't a bad person, but could you really forgive him for such a rough turn of events. This ex of his had clearly won her own game again.

[photo1030]

Leather and Lace - Chapter 9: A Friendly Game of Poker

Summary:  You agree to a game of strip poker with Sean, earning you some time with your favorite outlaw and leading to a major turning point in your relationship.

Warnings:  Swearing & language

A/N:  This one kind of got away from me a bit. The words just kept coming and coming! But there’s a lot of good stuff in here (I think) and it does lead to a shift in the dynamic, with more drama coming 

*This lovely image is not mine, but belongs to @queerhaw. check ‘em out!

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

"I thought you and Karen had something going?" you challenge back at Sean. He has been all wound-up for the last half hour with his attempt at flirtation with you again as a group of you sit around the fire after dinner as evening starts to settle in. His latest suggestion is a game of strip poker. Sean is always the trickster and quick to tease and joke, which is probably why he and Karen get-on so well together in the first place. But she never seems to mind him carrying-on with you, as she knows there's nothing behind it. Sean may be a flirt, but it is obvious where his heart really lies.

"We do!" exclaims Sean. "But there's always room for one more. Maybe we can make it a 'love triangle'," he winks at you suggestively.

This causes you to wrinkle your nose and furrow your brow at how ludicrous the idea is more than it is offensive to you. "Oh please, you can barely handle the one woman you sort of have, why confuse and disappoint another?" you reply with an air of exasperation. Your comment causes a snort of laughter to erupt out of Arthur who is sitting a few feet from you with a beer bottle in his hand.

"Baaaa" Sean waves you off. "You don't know what you're missin', Miss (Y/L/N)." He comes back at you with an impish grin as he nudges you with his elbow.

You look over at the slight-statured, red-haired man sitting next to you, thinking over how you want to handle this. Sean can be annoying, but he really is no threat to you. In fact, the two of you are pretty good friends. ”Alright, then" you finally say after a few moments of silence. Sean looks at you in confusion, not really sure to what you're inferring to. "If it will shut you up once and for all on the subject, then fine. Let’s play the game. I'm up for a little poker." And you abruptly stand up, looking down at him, and wait for Sean to do the same. Sean's eyes go wide in disbelief. "You are?" he asks incredulously, not expecting you to have called his bluff. Your only response is a single nod and slight grin. "If you win, I’ll bare it all," you spread your arms out as if to display yourself. "But if I win, you have to do all my work for Ms. Grimshaw.” You throw the stakes out there for Sean to consider, waiting for his answer with your arms crossed over your chest. Your fellow gang members let out a collective chatter, anxiously waiting to see what will happen next.

Sean gets a big shit-eating grin on his young face as he quickly stands up as well, bouncing his weight a bit in a swagger. “Sounds like a deal to me!” and he reaches out and shakes your hand to seal the deal.

"Fine, let's go," you counter with a bit of cockiness in your voice, motioning to the nearest table to begin the card game. Sean leads the way with the rest of the those who have gathered following him.  

“Y/N!” Arthur whispers sharply, grabbing your arm and abruptly pulling you aside before you can make your way to the table to join Sean. “You gone crazy?! You don’t have to do this," he warns you, his eyes intense as he stands over you, putting himself between you and Sean and that table. His body language is as if he is trying to either block or protect you from this game from happening.  

“Yes I do,” you confirm. The group already thinks that you don’t quite fit in. Its a given that you'll be left behind for any job outside the camp, and you've even earned the nickname "princess" from Micah and Bill. You feel that you need to assert yourself, showing the gang that you can be just as tough as them and hold your own. The job that Dutch and Hosea took you on a few days ago went amazingly well, earning you some respect among them and giving you a bit more confidence in yourself as well. "I feel like a misfit among misfits here, Arthur. Do you know what that feels like?" you plead.

"Yeah, actually I do," says Arthur exasperatedly. "But I ain't about to get naked in front of everyone over it!" He waives his hand in annoyance before planting both hands on his hips as he stares you down like a parent reprimanding a child.

"No, you just run yourself broken, that's all," you challenge back sarcastically, meeting his glare with your own.

"Come on! We doin' this or what?" hollers Sean from the table, trying to get your attention from Arthur.

Sighing slightly in resignation, you soften your tone. "It'll be fine, Arthur. What's the worst that can happen? So Sean sees me naked," you throw your hands up as if in defeat already. "I won't die," you shake your head at him, walking away.

"Maybe you won't," Arthur mutters to himself under his breath as he turns to follow after you.  

You walk towards the table where Sean is anxiously waiting for you, and suddenly you stomach fills with knots. You are actually pretty confident in your poker skills, but the reality of the idea has finally hit you that someone may see you without your clothes on. Its been a long time since you've allowed a man to see you bare, and even then, it wasn't a display like this could be. Fully clothed, you know how to present yourself, but naked as a baby, that's something else entirely. You've always been self-conscious of your body, afraid of what men would think of it. You know that there are women who are heavier or more plain than you, but there are also women who are far more beautiful, too. Some even here in camp. And deep down, when you mull over the trepidation in your chest, you realize that you really don't care what Sean thinks about your body. Its Arthur's opinion that concerns you.

But you have to push that anxiety and self-doubt aside for the task at hand if you're going to win at this. Poker is about confidence and steel resolve. You lift your chin a bit in determination as you reach the chair opposite Sean at the table where he is already seated, but halt before sitting down, your hands folded gracefully on the chair's back. “OK Sean, before we start, let's get something straight right now. I will do this. I will play your little game," you speak slowly and low to be sure you have his attention. "But if I even suspect you of cheating, I’ll have Arthur break every bone in your God damn hands. Do I make myself clear?” you point your finger at him, your voice stern and serious, indicating that you are not joking.

“Just say the word, Darlin’”, says Arthur as he lights a cigarette, taking his place to sit behind you.

“Of course”, Sean says with that same impish grin, spreading his arms wide to protest his innocence.

“And when he’s done, I’ll let Bill bat you around with his big ol' bear paws,” your eyes never wavering from Sean's as if to threaten. And with the mention of his name, Bill steps up protectively behind you as well, crossing his massive arms over his chest, staring down at the little man who is about half his size.

"You got nuthin' ta worry 'bout, (Y/N)! I'll be a right and proper gentleman," reassures Sean. "Uh,huh...sure," you reply with an eye roll. "Alight, let's do this, then," you say as you reach over and nab Bill's hat off his head and place it on your own.

You lower yourself to your seat across the table from Sean, both exchanging a glance in acceptance like a non-verbal handshake. He shuffles the cards, then hands them to you to cut before returning them to him to deal the first hand. But what Sean doesn’t realize is that you have an uncanny memory. You remember almost everything you see and hear. This is how your father had been able to teach you medicine from such an early age. So you are a natural at poker as you can count and keep track of the cards. A slight smug smile creeps across your lips as you remind yourself of this. But you can only hope that its enough to save you. Your mouth got your ass into this situation, so hopefully your head can save it now, too. You are playing against an outlaw, after all.

The game goes on for over an hour. Each hand that you win is another hour of time Sean owes Ms. Grimshaw. Each hand that Sean wins costs you another article of clothing. The other gang members have all gathered around you at this point, all interested for one reason or another. The girls find you as their "champion", while the men are hoping for a show. Arthur is simply waiting to see if he needs to step in for any reason. He loves this newly embolden side of you. But the thought of someone else getting to see what he secretly has been hoping could be only for him someday puts an imaginary knife into his stomach.

As time goes on, you eventually sit with your bare feet propped up on the table, skirt gone, your legs stretched and showcased as you confidently lean back. All you have left is your white button-down shirt on and Bill's hat that you nabbed at the beginning of the game. But you are calm and collected, showing no signs of concern.

Finally, it gets to, what appears to be, the last hand. Sean starts to fidget excitedly and lays down his cards. Before you, laying on the table are four 8's, "four-of-a-kind". “Will you look at what I have here? Ain’t that a pretty sight?!" exclaims Sean, full of bravado and swagger. "Although not as pretty as the sight that’s coming! Ain’t nothing much going to beat that, Miss Y/L/N!” A huge smile erupts from his lips as he smacks his hand down on the table in triumph. A symphony of "oooo's" and "ahhhh's" float throughout the small crowd that has gathered around the two of you. Off to the side Micah's face turns with a satisfied and hungry grin as a chuckle escapes his mustached lips.

You calmly look at the cards spread out on the table, a smirk of your own beginning to creep across your face. “You’re right, Sean. Ain’t nothing much going to beat that,” you say slowly, your voice dripping with honey. Sean loses some of his swagger, as he’s now noticing that you are not as upset as you probably should be and narrows his eyes a bit at you in confusion. You fluidly lower your feet to the ground, allowing you to sit up fully to the table now. You meet his gaze and slowly lay your cards down. “Except maybe a royal flush.” And your fingers slowly pull back from the waxy cards to reveal the image of the Ace, King, Queen, Jack and 10 of diamonds.

"Holy shit," whispers Arthur in shock from somewhere behind you. And there is a loud cheer of excitement that erupts from the on-lookers around you as the challenge is now complete.

“No fucking way!” Sean shouts in disbelief. You smile sweetly, keeping your gloating gaze on Sean as you lift your hand up to Bill as he helps you stand to your feet. “Hmm, I do believe I just won me some time off. Ms. Grimshaw will be so delighted to have a strong man at her disposal," you chuckle, admittedly rubbing it in just a little.

“There’s no fucking way!" Sean shouts again, slamming his hands on the table. “You cheated! You had to have!” he accuses, pointing his finger at you.

The smile instantly drops from your face, as your tone suddenly becomes serious once more. “I am a great many things, Mr. McGuire," you say cautiously, "But a liar, I most certainly am not. You’d do well to remember that.” Your eyebrows lift slightly, threateningly. Sean instantly recoils with a sulk, knowing, and finally admitting, that he's been beat. You sigh deeply then, changing your tone yet again. “Well, I'd better get myself to bed. I have three days of absolutely nothing to do and I need my rest," you gloat. "Good night, all," you say with a twinkled smile, scanning over the group of people. (Its at this time that you notice a few people exchanging money of their own. Apparently a few wagers were made on this little event.) You smile sweetly in thanks at Bill as you place his hat back on his head for him, before reaching down to gather your clothing.

"Good night, Arthur," you say softly as you walk past him. "'night," he grins as he watches you out of the corner of his eye as you saunter off towards your tent, a confident sway to your hips. When you get to your tent, you step inside and quickly pull the opening flaps shut. Turning around in your tent, you let out a shuttered exhale, covering your mouth with your hands, which are still shaking in shock. “I can't believe I just pulled that off,” you laugh to yourself incredulously.

-------------------------------------

The next morning allows you to sleep-in a bit since you do not have to be up right away for chores. A self-satisfied grin crosses your face at the thought of that. You stretch your arms and legs while lying on your bedroll like a cat rolling in a sunbeam, languidly pulling back the warm blanket to sit up. You take your time in getting yourself dressed, as there is no rush to get to work before Ms. Grimshaw's hollering starts. You hum to yourself contently as you casually run your fingers through your hair to comb it out before placing a ribbon there to tame your locks. You slowly wash your face with the basin of water you keep in your tent, relishing the feeling of the cool water as it refreshes your skin.

Eventually, when you feel that you've lingered in the quiet privacy of your tent long enough, you make your way out and over to the wagon to get yourself a cup of coffee and a hunk of bread that was made yesterday. You are greeted with nods of approval and looks of respect from the others as you make your way over to the fire to have your breakfast.

"Good Morning, Everyone," you say sweetly as you sit at the fire where Arthur, John and Javier are already seated and you are greeted with a wave of "Mornin'" in return. You sit contently, listening to the conversation between your companions as you gingerly sip your piping-hot coffee. A satisfied smile comes to your face as you look down at the cup and realize that it must be a fresh pot. 'This day is getting better and better by the minute', you think to yourself. Eventually, Javier looks over at you. "So, what are you going to do today, (Y/N), now that you have all this time to yourself?" He playfully swats at your leg from where he is sits next to you. He looks at you with interest as he picks up an apple and begins to cut into it with his knife, popping a slice of the fruit into his mouth.

"I'm not really sure," you say thoughtfully. "I would like to get out of camp, though. You want to go hunting or something with me, Javi?"

Javier thinks on your proposal for a minute. "You know, Hermosa, I can’t. Too busy today. But I think Arthur is free," a sly smile creeps across his hawk-like face as he nods towards Arthur.

"Oh, really?" you look over at Arthur, pleasantly surprised. "I thought you had a scout or something today?" you question Arthur.

Arthur sits up a bit straighter, slightly choking on his coffee, as he is caught off-guard at the sudden change in the conversation. "Yeah, uh...I do...but uh..." he stammers at being put on the spot. Arthur does have a job to do today, but he'd also love the opportunity to spend time alone with you, too. He's quickly trying to figure out in his head how he can accomplish both.

"Turns out I'm going out on that one, Y/N", Javier interrupts when he sees Arthur struggling to answer. "That's why I can't go out with you, like I said. But Arthur might be able to go," he pushes again.

"Well, what do you say, Arthur? Think you can spare some time for me today?" your eyes, full of hope, turn on him. The look on your face says it all; like a child asking for a special treat. Arthur can't ever seem to say "no" to you, and the idea of spending an entire day, uninterrupted and alone together, is just too good to pass up. "Sure, OK. I think we can arrange that," Arthur says clearing his throat, trying to keep his cool and not sound too eager as he swipes his hand across his lap to brush away the imaginary dust there, trying to act oh-so nonchalant. Your excitement is apparent on your face as you beam with enthusiasm. "Oh my gosh, thank you, Arthur! I can't wait!!" your hands clasped together tightly against your chest. "Alright, then, we should get movin'. No sense burnin' daylight," he suggests. He happily watches you squeal with excitement as you hop up from you chair. "Give me a minute to run back to my tent to grab my boots instead of these shoes, and I'll met you by the horses, yeah?" Arthur simply nods in acknowledgement to you as he slowly stands up as well.

As you go bouncing off excitedly towards your tent, Arthur gives a slow, content sigh as he turns to head towards the the hitching posts. "Hey," Javier calls over to Arthur, giving him a smile and a wink. “You owe me one, Brother”.  Arthur rolls his eyes at his friend. "Yeah, yeah..." and waves him off.

-------------------------------------

Despite sleeping in, it is still fairly earlier in the morning when you and Arthur ride out of camp. You don't have any plans for your new-found time off, so you decide to start with a hunt. You didn't think you'd take to hunting as much as you have, but the quiet ride out in the beautiful and untamed landscape is just so appealing. And you really are quite good at it. You had bragged about it to Dutch and Ms. Grimshaw when you first arrived at the camp, hoping to seem useful to them, and you have only proved it to be true since then.

The new area that your group has recently moved to offers a lush and peaceful countryside. There are plenty of trees and rivers to provide an ample food supply, but also an escape from the strain and tension of living on the run as wanted outlaws. And today, much to your relief, is no different. The seasons are starting to turn now, changing from the hot days of summer to the crisp evenings of autumn. The sun is still bright and shinning, now with the golden tones that only the fall can bring, but the desperate heat is no longer present, making the trekking in the woods so much more pleasant and enjoyable.

You and Arthur haven't been out too long when you come across a flock of pheasant. You quickly manage to pick off a handful of them, making quick work of cleaning them to bring home. You laugh to yourself at how something as trivial as pheasant is so exciting to you. But the thought of having something for dinner other than stew has you ecstatic.

With the meat cleaned and packed up, you and Arthur wander to sit down under a giant oak tree to relax in the shade. You let your horses amble about, grazing on the thick grass, perfectly content and happy. As usual, the two of you fall into easy conversation, your connection always an effortless function.

Sipping on the cool water from your canteen, your eyes scan the scenery. "While we're out here, I need to watch for some feverfew plants," you say absentmindedly. Arthur gives you a puzzled look, not really sure what you are talking about. "Feverfew," you repeat. "It helps with headaches. Hosea said its out here somewhere, but I’ve yet been able to find it. It kind of looks like a daisy, has a citrus fragrance to it."  "Right," is all he can say in response, with no idea what you are talking about.

You smile and shake your head at the man. You wonder sometimes what he must think of you. The things that Arthur has to concern himself with as Dutch Van Der Linde's right-hand are so much more complicated and dangerous than looking for some silly herb in the grass somewhere. It dawns on you how ridiculous you must seem to such a man, but yet he still does his best to at least pretend to give a damn about whatever foolish topic you tend to ramble on about. Little do you know, Arthur loves these odd little conversations with you. Its a relief to talk about something that won't end up with him getting shot at, and he thinks its adorable that you want to discuss such things with him of all people.

"What do you do when you're out here all of the time, anyway?" you ask, clearing your throat to change the subject as you cross your legs under you and lean out with your elbows on your knees.

"Scouting, looking for advantages. Gotta know what's around and where we can go in a moment's notice should somethin' go south," Arthur's reply is simple, as he lights a cigarette while he shifts his weight, getting comfortable sitting on the ground in the soft, lush grass.  

"So smart," you tell him, shaking your head a little, impressed with his ever diligent attention to the gang's well-being.

Arthur just rolls his eyes at you. "Oh yeah, I’m a real genius," he says with biting sarcasm. "If I were that smart I wouldn’t be runnin' with my head ducked down all of the time." He takes his hat off his head and sets it down next to him, running his hand through his hair a few times, making sure its neat. The breeze in the air feels good against his scalp and further relaxes him.

"Or, you’d be dead by now if you weren’t," you counter with a grin, to which you only receive a simple, unassuming shrug from him. You look from Arthur to your hands as they play with the thick, green blades of grass in front of you, nervously chewing on your bottom lip as you try to muscle up the courage to push your luck to dig a little deeper with your conversation. You and Arthur have always gotten along well, and lately it seems like things may be turning a corner for the better. There seems to be a different feel in the air between you two and you are curious just how far you can take this.

"So tell me," you ask hesitantly as you casually pick grass. "How is it that you don't have a woman in your life?"

You try not to look directly at Arthur to avoid making him uncomfortable, but watch him carefully out of the corner of your eye. You observe him as he inhales deeply before he answers you. "Eh, no one would have me," he offers dismissively.  

"I find that hard to believe," you huff slightly in disbelief, narrowing your eyes at him slightly.

Arthur just shrugs again at what he feels is a given. "I ain’t much to look at."

"Says who?" you challenge back, not letting him get off that easy. (Truth be told, you've often heard his self-depreciating remarks and you really hate it. How can he be so hard on himself?) "For what it’s worth, I don't like men who are prettier than me," you joke throwing the bits of grass you've been playing with at him now.  

Arthur gives you a mock-annoyed look, swatting the grass pieces away before casting his eyes away and out over the landscape again. "I know how a mirror works," he mumbles lowly.

"Do you?" you raise your eyebrow at him. "I mean, I know they can be tricky and all," you tease.

"Jesus, is your sarcasm a whole other personality?" he huffs turning his gaze back to you now.

"Sorry," you say sheepishly, trying to reel yourself in. "My mother always told me my mouth would get me in trouble."

Arthur pauses for a few moments. "What happened to her, anyway? Your mother, I mean. If you don't mind me askin' o'course," he asks, his voice kind and now reflecting the same curiosity about you that you just had with him.

"She died when I was young. Pneumonia. I was about 9 years old. That's when my father started teaching me medicine, actually. I didn't do well with her death. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole "God's will" thing as a child. So rather than trying to push it, he figured it would be easier for me if I understood how she died." Your tone changes to sweet sadness as you remember your parents. They seem like such a far-off echo in your brain now, so far removed from your daily life as it has currently turned into. You pull your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around them, setting your chin on your knee, as if hugging them to yourself. Arthur loves this posture when you do it; so innocent and somehow elegant at the same time, the way you fold yourself up.

Clearing your throat, you try to change the subject back to him if you can, seeing a window of opportunity to learn a bit more about his past, if he'll let you, that is. "So, if no one would ever have you, who is with you in that photo I saw in your tent?" you ask, trying to take advantage of this opportune moment.

You watch Arthur's face drop a bit, his eyes getting a bit vacant as he recalls a distant memory. "That would be Mary," he says slowly. He looks over at you and notes the concern on your face when you see the pain in his eyes resurfacing at the remembrance of this woman and all that she meant to him. But fortunately, he doesn't see you as prying, but as someone who genuinely wants to know him. He has forgotten what it is like to have someone be concerned about his innermost thoughts and emotions.

And then something amazing happens:  Arthur takes another deep breath and proceeds to open up and tell you all about what happened between him and Mary Gillis. He unburdens his soul to you, like a waterfall that cannot be held back. You sit motionless, listening to him speak, astounded not only by the story that he is telling you, but that he is entrusting you with it, exposing his heart to you so unguardedly.

"I don't know...I guess we were just not meant to be," Arthur finally concludes, a worn sadness still lingering in his heart after all of these years.  

"Hmm", you hum thoughtfully, a little grin set upon your face as you digest the information that he has just conveyed to you. "How very 'Romeo and Juliet'."

"Who?"

"Shakespeare"

"Oh," he waves it off, not knowing who you are speaking of, as great British literature was not something that was high on his priority list of life-lessons growing up.

"Its a famous story of two people from opposite sides, never meant to ever meet, let alone fall in love," you explain. You dreamily look up at the tree under which you are sitting, observing its beautiful branches and leaves that decorate your vision with thousands of dots of color as the sun's rays dance through them.

"What happened to them?" Arthur asks curiously.

"They died," you reply, dropping your eyes from the tree to look at Arthur now, realizing how sad the story really is, now that you have some real-life perspective on it.  

"Figures," he huffs, pulling out another cigarette and placing it between his lips.  

You chuckle as you lay down, back flat in the grass, as you fold your arm behind your head like a pillow, but turn about so that you can still face Arthur as you speak. "Sometime we expect too much of others because it’s what we would do for them," you say. "It doesn’t mean that they’re bad people. Most relationships seem to fail because one person loved the other too much and the other person didn’t love the other enough in return. But in your case, it sounds like she just wasn’t the one for you," you offer this insight with a caring smile for him.

"Yeah, I wasn’t good enough for her," admits Arthur with a furrowed brow. "Wasn’t good enough, smart enough, rich enough, just...not enough." And he shakes his head sadly as he accepts this as if it were fact.  

But you shake your own head in disagreement. "It sounds to me like maybe it wasn't a question of "not being enough", but that you were just too different. Maybe you weren’t what she needed," you suggest.

"What the hell is the difference," he retorts, slightly annoyed at the idea that there is now something else that he was not good enough for.

"Take your revolver, for example," you say waving at the piece on Arthur's hip, as you roll over onto your side now, propping yourself up on your elbow. "It’s a fine gun, probably your favorite piece, even. You never go anywhere without it, right? But you don’t go hunting with it. For hunting, which is something that you do for your very survival, mind you, you need that rifle of yours. You need your rifle, not your revolver, in that crucial situation, despite your love for that revolver." You give him a moment to let that sink in, as he drops his gaze to his boots, processing the metaphor that you've presented to him. "And lets be honest," you continue, "she clearly wasn’t what you needed, either. If she was, you’d be sitting here with her and not me." And you raise your eyebrow to accent your point. "If you’re with the right person, you don’t have to work hard to be happy. It just happens," you say simply.

Arthur's furrowed eyes, that were following your rationale as you've been speaking, eventually widen in astonishment, as if something that has eluded him for the longest time has finally become so clear in his mind. "I never thought of it like that," his voice soft and contemplative.

"Maybe someday, you'll find that happiness and good life that you seek," you offer him hopefully.  

Arthur is quiet for a moment, his head swirling, blown away by your simple assessment for one of the most painful thorns plaguing his mind. He's debating about whether he should go on. Now that he's started to expose his heart to you, he cannot seem to stop. "I had a chance at happiness and a good life once, you know. But I lost that." He rubs his thumb and forefinger along his chin. "Tried to do what I thought was best, but still managed to screw that up, too," he says tentatively, not sure how you are going to handle what he is about to tell you next.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

And it is now that Arthur conveys to you his best-kept secret:  Eliza & Issac.

You slowly sit up from where you are still laying in the grass as Arthur tells you yet another tale from his past. This time, a tragic story of his attempt at finding happiness, something for himself. A story of a sweet girl and the beautiful child that they had together, only for both to be brutally and cruelly taken from him. Yet another life-mocking stab into his heart. As you listen with wide eyes, everything about him suddenly becomes very clear to you. All of his self-loathing stems from his interactions with these two women, both Mary and Eliza. And of course the tragic loss of his son. "Ohhhh, that’s why you’re all over John's ass all the time, isn’t it?" you ask, understanding Arthur's resentment of John's carelessness with an opportunity that Arthur lost and would give anything to have again.

"I'm not all over him all the time!" he snaps defensively to you. You raise a questioning eyebrow at him. "OK, I’m all over John for a lot of reasons," he huffs, throwing his hand up in frustration.

"You’re such a big brother", you giggle and he scowls at this. "That’s a compliment, you know," you reassure him.

Arthur has already told you in previous conversations about his childhood and how he came to be found by Dutch and Hosea. And now with this new information about love and life lost, egos and social classes, Arthur's horrible self-image makes more sense to you. And it occurs to you that you are not sure what touches your heart more, the stories themselves that Arthur is telling you, or the idea that he trusts you enough to confide them to you, complete with his opinions and feelings about them.

"One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go of what you thought was real," you say with sympathy and understanding, as you know a little bit about that yourself.

"I had a chance, a chance at something good," he says with a disappointed shake of his head, his eyes cast down to his boots again. "But I was too blind to see it before."

You lean forward to try to catch his gaze and hold it. "But if you can see now, Arthur, then you're not blind anymore. Some may consider that a miracle."  

Arthur looks into your face once more. He just can't get over you. You are so kind, so compassionate. Your words and actions wash over him like a tidal wave, overwhelming and drowning him, yet lifting him up at the same time. He just cannot believe that someone like you exists in this harsh world, let alone resigns themselves to his company. You could be anywhere and do anything, yet here you are, more than content to sit here under this particular tree, in the grass and dirt, with the likes of him.

“Can I ask you something personal?" he finally asks tentatively.

"Sure, I think its only fair at this point," you admit with a chuckle.

"How come you ain't married?” His eyes squint slightly at you, doubtingly, as if you are are too good to be true.

You freeze for a moment, holding his gaze as you shift a bit uncomfortably in the grass. “Oh, that’s a long story,” you look down at your hands, embarrassed.

“We’ve got all day, remember?" Arthur digs, spreading his arms wide at the expanse of the day. "Come on, I told you about my embarrassing past," he reminds you. And he's got you there.  

You sigh in resignation, giving him a phony "stink-eye" stare. “Actually, I was engaged, once upon a time. To a very promising young man, I’ll have you know, Mr. Morgan" you say in a false hoity-toity accent.  

"Oh, well la-dee-da," he teases as he lays back propped up on his elbow. "Well, now I gotta hear this story."

"His name was David Hawthorne. Oh, he was handsome, charming, rich...the most eligible bachelor in the city. His father was a doctor, a colleague of my own father's actually. So he was being groomed to be a great doctor just like them." You shake your head at the memory of it. "All the girls wanted to be on David's arm."

"So what happened, then?" Arthur asks, pushing for more juicy details, pulling out yet another cigarette to place between his lips as he digs for his matches.

Sighing, you narrow your eyes at him yet again before begrudgingly continuing. "It was our engagement party. Everyone in high-standing was there. It was being held at the Hawthorne's estate and no expense was spared. The music was playing, champagne was flowing...it was to be a beautiful night. My father was so proud," you think back fondly. "You see, he was so nervous after my mother died about how he was going to raise a child on his own, let alone a girl. But now, not only had he done it and managed to get me married-off, but to the most coveted young man in society." You roll your eyes at the ridiculousness of it all. "Anyway, about halfway through the party, I noticed that I couldn't find David anywhere. I walked about the crowd of people, greeting the guests and mingling, but couldn't find him anywhere." You shrug your hands up, re-enacting your confusion from your memory. "He was already pretty drunk the last I saw of him, so I figured he went upstairs to either change or lie down a bit and sleep off the liquor. So I went upstairs to his rooms to see if I could find him."

"Rooms?" Arthur interrupts. "As in, he had more than one?" raising his eyebrow skeptically.

"Oh yes," you reach over and put your hand on Arthur's wrist in emphasis. "I told you, they had money. The manor was so large that David had his own wing of rooms. Anyway, once I got to the second level, I started to look for him, checking the rooms and hallways. I came to his master bedroom and that is where I found him. Passed out cold...naked...and in the arms of my best friend."

"No!" Arthur exclaims in surprise.

"Yep" you confirm slowly with a nod and cheeky smile.

"Damn...So you called off the engagement, huh?"

"Oh, if only it were that simple," you muse, as you take another deep breath before continuing. "At that point, I think I actually lost my mind for a moment. I proceeded to carefully walk over and wrap the two of them up in the blanket, and then I bound their hands and feet with the cord I took down from the curtains on the wall. I walked over and grabbed the broom from the fireplace... and proceeded to beat the hell out of them both with it."

"Holy shit!" Arthur chuckles. "So I guess that did it?"

"Oh, but there's more," you raise your hand at him. "David and Clare woke up, of course, screaming and hollering, coupled with my own screaming about what a sack of shit he was. All of which was clearly heard by everyone at the party below us, by the way. Once I knew they were awake and fully aware of what was happening, I quickly made my way back to the top of the main staircase, where I promptly announced at the top of my lungs to everyone in attendance of the party that the engagement between myself and Mr. David Hawthorne was effectively over, due to the fact that he was a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch, and thanked everyone for coming. 'You are all welcome to stay and enjoy yourselves, but I will be leaving this shithole immediately!'" And you bow your head with a flourish of your hand as if you've completed a grand stage performance.

"Well, I guess if you’re gonna walk through hell, act like you own the place, right?" laughs Arthur, taking another long drag on his cigarette. "So I guess they didn't look on that too kindly, then?"

"No. No, they did not," you smile in confirmation. "And it only gets worse from there."

"Of course it does," says Arthur amused.

"You see, I knew that my actions were going to be looked down upon. But what I did not fully comprehend was the repercussions that my little temper tantrum would bring. I was, of course, ousted from any inner social circles. For a brief moment, I thought my fellow women would sympathize with me, but they did not. But I didn't care too much, to be honest. I never really did fit in too well, anyway," you say dismissively. "But, I did not think about the impact it would have on my father. For not only was I ousted, but he as well."

At this point, your face becomes darker as the course of your story turns more painful. "My father lost his position at the university where he was teaching. They 'no longer needed his services'. And not long after that, he was let go from the hospital that he helped to build, as well. The board claimed that the scandal did not present a good image for the hospital. But David's father was on the board, so you know he was behind that. With my father out of work, and both of us looked upon as social pariah, we were lost. Until finally, one of my father's friends contacted him about a position with the Missouri Pacific Railroad. His brother worked for the railroad and they needed a doctor to coordinate and run the mobile hospitals that were popping up along the new rail system as they built it. So we sold our house and all belongings, and headed out west to Rosewood. And you know the rest from there..."

"Huh..." responds Arthur, blown away by your story. "I'm sorry, (Y/N). That's a real shame,” shaking his head slightly and turning sympathetic eyes to you.

"Yeah, it is," you nod, quiet for a few moments. "God, I was so angry," you blurt out suddenly. "I actually thought that I was going to get a happy ending, you know? But that's when I realized that 'happily ever after' is only in those books that Mary-Beth reads," your mouth twists up in annoyance at how ridiculous this whole thing sounds. "It’s a horrible feeling to be unimportant to the people who are most important to you."

Arthur suddenly realizes that your just summed up his current mental status in that very statement. "It’s like you can read my mind," his eyes meet yours with a knowing twinkle.

"If I could read what goes through your mind, Arthur, I think I’d cry," you reply with a slight snort of sarcasm, the joke pulling you out of your slight melancholy now.

"Ain’t that the truth," he agrees with an eye roll of his own as he shifts again where he's sitting, stretching his legs a bit before folding the one underneath himself again.

"Looking back, I'm not sure why David picked me," you continue. "Maybe it was the chase. (I was probably the only girl who wasn't running after him all the time, knowing full well that he was beyond my station in life.) Or maybe its because I got "birthin' hips" to produce lots of children," you joke as you slap the side of your thighs with your hands. You shake your head at the wonder of it. You fold your legs under you and lean on your elbows, drawing your hands up to rest under your chin. "Doesn't matter now, anyhow. I know now that I didn’t love him, either," you admit. "I guess all I wanted was to feel special, to feel chosen, you know?"

"Yeah," laments Arthur. "I know what you mean."

"I could have had the beautiful house, the clothes, jewels...I just had to look the other way and smile while my husband fucked every girl that struck his fancy. But I just couldn't bring myself to do that. I sometimes wonder if my father would still be alive right now. If I hadn't made such a scene, he wouldn't have lost everything that he worked so hard for. Maybe he wouldn't have had to take a job with the railroad, ending up in Rosewood. Maybe he wouldn't have gotten killed,” you say softly, looking down at the grass again.  

"You can't blame yourself for what happened, (Y/N)," Arthur warns sternly, his voice suddenly changing tone. "What happened to your father, or to you for that matter, wasn't your fault."

"Hmm...maybe," now you turn your eyes over the landscape in front of you, just as Arthur had when it was his turn to reveal his story. "But, what's done is done," you sigh sadly, both of you sitting quietly for a moment. "And besides, if I hadn't done all of that, I wouldn't have met you, right?" you give him a quick slight grin.

Arthur can’t get over what a wonderful time he is having with you. He is comfortable, content, even...happy. When in the hell was the last time he felt happy? It’s a beautiful thing to find someone who asks for nothing of you other than just your company.

"Alright, let's change the subject to something a bit more cheerful," you say abruptly, shaking off the weight of the ugliness of the past for both of you. "If you could go anywhere and do anything, Arthur, what would you do?" you pose, sitting up tall and square to him now, pinning him down with an expectant look.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confused to your meaning, giving you a side-eye glance.

"Congratulations, Arthur Morgan, you’ve been pardoned!" you sing loudly and raise your arms over your head as if in celebration. "A clean slate, no bounty on your head, no warrants for your arrest. And, no more gang commitments, either," you point at him to further your premise. "You’re free to go and do as you please," you say, extending your arm and waving your hand as if showing him the path laid out in front of him. "Where do we go?" you cock your head to the side in curiosity.

“We?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. That smallest detail from your proposal did not escape his attention. And now its his turn to look to you with curiosity.

"Sorry, that was rather presumptuous of me, wasn't it," you back-peddle, feeling your face blush, heat rising from your neck to your hairline as his gaze lingers on you.

Arthur turns his head and looks out over the landscape again, his blue eyes squinting as if trying to recall some all-too distant memory. He inhales deeply and exhales just as deep in return, thinking on his words and steadying himself before he releases them to the world. This type of thing is something that he may write about in his journal, but never talks about with anyone. "I always pictured a little cabin in the mountains somewhere. Nothin' too fancy. By a river or lake so I can fish whenever I want, a fire always goin' in the fireplace. Maybe raisin' some horses. Sittin' on the porch of that cabin, drinkin' coffee in the early mornin', and watchin' the mist burn off with the sunrise every day." Arthur's voice trails off and his gaze goes vacant as if he can see it pictured way off in his mind's eye. A look of peacefulness settles over his stern face as his whole body relaxes at just the mere thought of something so lovely and perfect to call his own.  

You're smile drops a little as you realize as you watch him so intently that he isn’t just telling you about something that he wants, but he's actually telling you his dream. "That sounds like heaven," you say quietly as if you are afraid of scaring the dream away like a skiddish little rabbit about to bolt as your approach it.

The sound of your voice snaps Arthur out of his reverie and back into the harsh reality that he's living as he clears his throat. "Yeah, that’s why I’ll never have it," he shrugs at you in defeat. "Men like me don’t get to go to heaven, not even heaven here on earth." He gives you a small, sad smile.

"Well, we’ll have to work on that then, won’t we?" you promise.

-------------------------

Your three days off are up and you are back to work like the rest of the gang at this point. Sean, despite his pouting, paid his debt and subjected himself to Ms. Grimshaw's mercy as promised. Granted, he was easily distracted working next to Karen, but it was nothing that a slap upside the head by Grimshaw didn't take care of. You and Arthur got to spend that whole first day together and it was wonderful. It was quiet and fun, with no interruptions or drama. The two of you just sat under that big oak tree for hours and talked about all kinds of things. You usually get-on well as it is, and have spent many nights by the fire or rides out talking about anything that comes to mind. But this time it was different. You shared deep thoughts and personal dreams; past lives and future hopes. It was as if you and Arthur connected on a whole new level that day. There was nothing unseemly or paltry about it, either. The two of you just genuinely, and innocently, enjoyed one another.  

The day after your afternoon with Arthur, he had left camp, saying he had some errand to run. While you missed his presence, it was nothing unusual for him to do; he's always running around for someone or something. So to fill your time over the next two days, you had sat with Javier and sang and played music, went tracking with Charles, played dominoes with Hosea, and took some much needed rest in the shade, reading your latest book.

When Arthur comes riding back to camp, he looks around like a man on a mission of great importance. His tired eyes search for you and instantly brighten at the sight. A grin quickly spreads across his bearded stubble as he approaches you where you are back to work in your med-tent. His thumb and forefinger curl around his cigarette that he brings to his lips in anticipation. As he gets closer, he eagerly watches your movements, even though you are simply stirring a small pot with an herbal tea in it. "Hey you," Arthur calls to you with your usual greeting for each other.

"Hey you," you smile happily back at him. Once your own eyes settle on him as well, a feeling of comfort settles over you. Its a feeling that you haven't had since you were last in each other's presence. You didn't realize just how much you missed the man until he was back and standing in front of you again.

"Got something for ya," he says with a grin as he places his cigarette between his slightly-chapped lips to free up his hands to dig into his satchel.

"Let me guess," you interrupt, holding up your hands to prevent him from speaking anymore. He halts in his movements and gives you a confused look. "You've been out this whole time and you brought me $10,000," you say with a cheeky smile, pointing a finger at him like you just solved a major crime.

"Woman, if I had $10,000, I wouldn’t be hanging round here!" he says with fake exasperation and a wave of his hand, tilting his head as if you should know better.

You offer a gasp as if greatly offended, your hand coming up to your chest. "What?! You’d go and leave me here?" you challenge.

"Now, why would I want to take you with me? You’re kind of a pain in the ass," he asks dryly, teasing you as he arches an eyebrow while drawing on his cigarette.

"Because," you giggle at your own playfulness, "Be that as it may, Mr. Morgan, but out of everyone else here, I’m the one you like the best." You give him a smug and confident look.

Arthur points at you with his cigarette between his fingers again while blowing smoke out his nose. "Now, that is an accurate statement. OK, fine," he concedes as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. "If get ahold of $10,000, I’ll take you with me. Happy?"

"That’s more like it," you reply satisfied. "So, what do you have for me, then?" you remind him, your large doe-eyes looking up at him expectantly as you change the subject.

"Hmm?" Arthur is so caught up in your banter, fixated on you, that he forgot the whole reason he came over to talk to you to begin with. "Oh...here." He carefully takes a bundle of cloth out of his satchel, unwrapping it before he hands it to you. Nestled in his large, rough hands, sitting in a bed of white cotton, is a beautiful flower. Its the herb that you've been looking for; the one that you had talked about when you were out together the other day.

The smug smile slowly melts from you lips in astonishment. "Is that what I think it is?" you ask him softly, as you gingerly take the plant from his hands and carefully into your own.

"Depends…what do you think it is?" he asks uneasily. "I remember you talkin’ ‘bout it the other day, tried to remember what it would look like. Either way, when I came across it, I thought it was pretty enough."

"Yeah? Pretty enough for what?" you ask distractedly while poking the delicate petals with your finger tip as you examine it.

"Pretty enough for you.” Arthur peers up at you from under the brim of this hat and smiles. His blue eyes have a touch of merriment to them, causing the color to pop in contrast against the tanned skin, the faint wrinkled lines around them crinkling a bit more.  

You pull your gaze from the bud in your hand when you realize what is it that Arthur has just said to you and look up at him, a smile growing larger by the second. He loves your smile, has since the day he met you. It sticks in his brain, something that he's tucked away to savor for sweet respite to offer him comfort when he's alone. "You know, you may not use your words too much, Arthur, but when you do...it’s always the right ones."

The two of you stand there briefly, grinning at each other like a couple of idiots, until the moment is lost due to an unfortuitous interruption. "Ugh, I figured I'd find you over here." You reluctantly turn from each other to see Micah Bell sauntering over. He never fails to be at the wrong place at the wrong time to say the wrong thing. "Dutch has a job for you and me, Arthur. So if you're done playing with the lady, here, we got work to do." Arthur doesn't move or say anything to Micah, still standing stoically as if it would take a team of horses to pull him away right now. "Come on, let’s go," Micah whines as he waves his arm to try to usher Arthur into motion before he himself walks away. You and Arthur both silently watch Micah as he walks away before Arthur sighs in disappointment, turning his attention back to you.

"Duty calls", you giggle. Arthur rolls his eyes, but doesn't complain, and slowly makes his way to follow Micah. Your eyes follow after him a moment, before you look down at the flower in your hand. When you do, you don’t see Arthur look over his shoulder back at you. He smiles to himself as he sees you happily cradle the flower in your hand.

[incandescentflower]

I want Wandee Goodday to be about mental health.

I've been thinking about Dee mentioning Yak's nightmares and possibly seeking help. I'm not really into Dee trying to force him with an agreement. That kind of stuff doesn't work - mental health treatment is something people choose for themselves. But lots of people take convincing. And we've already seen Dee use leverage to get Yak to take care of himself, so not so surprising that's how they brought it up.

But the conversation finally started to broach what has been missing for me - the story of their mutual losses at young ages and how that can very much impact their fundamental remaining relationships. That kind of loss can be so transformative in how a person relates in significant relationships. It can impact attachment to others, create a pathological fear of loss, increase the level of guilt people carry in their life and even impact their developmental mind set - many people get kind of stuck at certain developmental milestones if they experience trauma at young ages.

(I am saying this as someone who has been trained in cognitive-behavioral trauma therapy as a therapist, but it was quite a while ago and I'm by no means an expert. This is just generalizing. And it definitely doesn't happen to everyone. It just feels like the show might want us to think it is happening for both Dee and Yak.)

The show seems to use these facts about them as short hand for some of their behaviors and choices without doing the work to make it clear and I wish they would delve into them more. I'm worried they are not doing so for drama sake later, but that remains to be seen. It also could be that they are punching above their weight when it comes to their understanding of these issues (yes, pun intended).

This is the first time they are implying that Yak's trauma about his mother's death actually bleeds into other aspects of his life. But that connection is not clearly made. I would have found it interesting if they spent the time to draw a vivid line between Yak's loss of his mother and his fear of loss of Wandee. (as an aside, I would say that would also have helped if they solidified Yak's feelings for Dee earlier so we truly understand the intensity of them. the lack of Yak pov makes it hard to know if his feelings are strong enough to instigate this reaction)

It's also hard to draw this conclusion because Yak is the one who is more willing to react by throwing it away - his fear response seems to be to run. It looks like a "time to get out before I care too much" action with him not acknowledging he already has those feelings. And so then after he breaks it off he feels this intensity of the loss in the form of his jealous feelings about Ter - who is taking Dee away.

He seems to carry a lot of guilt about *something* having to do with his mom's death and equates disappointing Dee with disappointing his mother. But without those details, it leaves us to guess. It isn't clear that Yak is melting down here not just from losing Dee, but over triggering those feelings of loss over his mom again, and possibly the expectation that he will lose everyone.

But that would be the most compelling reason to me.

I think the same actually goes for Dee and his reactions to relationships. We've seen Dee have two trauma flashbacks without any explanation, but it's safe to assume he has his own baggage to deal with. Still, the show is unclear how much it impacts Dee's behavior. Since he has Plakao, a psychiatrist, as his friend it implies that if Dee was truly deeply struggling emotionally, we'd see Kao telling him ad nauseum to go to therapy, not telling him to just take the leap and confess to Yak.

Without Kao saying "Dee, this is more than just indecision"- it seems like the show is saying it isn't a behavior that needs professional help. But if you take it out of the way it is often played for humor, it sure seems like it to me.

If I had a friend who seemed to be struggling so hard with having feelings for someone and had so much fear of those feelings that it was making them a little miserable, and on top of that seemed to not be able to set firm boundaries with someone who had hurt them immensely, so much so that not letting go of that person was more important than how the other person treated them, you bet I'd think they should be talking to someone.

Kao is being played as the voice of reason, but he is very static right now. He's just kinda being the audience stand-in to say GAAAHHH stoppppp. But if I'd had the same conversation with a friend this many times, I'd start to ask - hey, why are you always doing this? why are you always making things complicated?? how is that serving you when you say it isn't?? That is the crux of therapy. Figuring that shit out. It feels like the show wants the character motivation without having to delve into it too seriously.

When Dee says to Yak maybe you should get some help - perhaps he should be putting on the oxygen mask first before he attempts to help anyone else.

And honestly, their mutual trauma being the reason they are having such a fucking hard time working this out would be so, so interesting to me.

I'm just not certain that is what the show wants us to think.

[boulette-of-paper]

YU-GI-OH “Historical” Headcannon

Hello, it's been quite some time. But finally, I took time to finish this draft!

Small necessary disclaimers :

⚠️ Excuse my english, I'm not native.

⚠️ It's hard to find the balance between historical and fun to write. So somethings I might have said in my previous post won't technically matter here.

Fandom : Yu-Gi-Oh (manga + anime)

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General

Atem

His mother died during childbirth. That would explain the absence of brother and sister.

He had a nurse, potentially Maana's mother since it was said they knew each other since childhood.

Aside from that he had a pretty lonely childhood, he is the future pharaoh, a god among the humans. So every relationship starts with a massive imbalance.

He lacked connection with people basically. (Except Mahad and Maana)

Pharoh used to be disconnected from their people, they were symbols before humans

He had and still has an issue with eye contact. Either he doesn't look at people at all or just fixes someone intensely. No in-between.

Young Atem couldn’t stay put unless someone was brushing his hair.

Even older he has a very soft spot and liking when he gets pampered. He loves long baths or when someone does his make-up or again brushing his hair.

Atem has no issues with nudity, again the clothes were very reviling,

Atem might be anxious when completely alone. He’s so used to being with all his servants, advisers etc. ect that when the silence finally arrives and his alone in his bed he tends to feel weird.

He adores cats. But, he used to be a bit too enthusiastic and a cat scratched him and since then he let them come to him but never engaged with them.

Atem would pass hours at the temple, and his surroundings would think of him as a very pious man, but it was for the cats AND for Priest Seto.

Priest Seto

Priest Seto has the longest and lushiest (?) hair known to exist.

He loves cats and cats love him back.

Priest Seto knows his eyeliner, he does it in the first stroke and it’s always perfect

Child Seto because of his blue eyes was looked at a lot, not in a bad way but more like he was unusual looking.

Seto’s eyes allowed him to be noticed by priests as a “Child of the Gods” since some shades of blue seem to be linked to the sky and the divine in ancient Egypt.

Seto loves to read, and temples were known to be filled with a lot of scriptures.

Seto is more in touch with the people than Atem, since priests were also magicians and doctors

Priest Seto is so loyal to the Pharaoh not only because Atem is the heir of the gods he worships but also because younger they both used to pet the temple’s cat.

Priest Seto is good at what Atem doesn’t like to deal with. That’s why even tho he’s young his one of Atem’s favourite ministers.

Seto likes to walk alone at night under the stars.

Relationship Headcannons (I know you were looking for it)

But how do we end up in a relationship with those two cuties, and still be accurate historically ?? Well, my friend here is what I could think of.

Atem :

To be 1st wife material, sadly you’ll have to from the family OR a very very influential heir/heiress of a nobleman.

If you’re not 1st wife material > You’ll have to be part of his harem as either: a skilled person or maybe an heiress of an enemy tribe who has been vanquished or is in alliance.

Wait let me explain, Harem in ancient Egypt isn’t what we commonly think. The pharaoh’s harem was, surely to entertain the Pharaoh but also to showcase skill and the Egyptian culture in a way.

So we can imagine here so very skilled shadow game players or very beautiful dancers etc.

Seto :

Find no source to say that priest took a celibacy oath so you can imagine anything you want.

(Personally, I have my small fantasy of forbidden love between him and an OC priestess because I love drama)

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Here you have it. It’s not much but hope it at least entertains one or two people. I might have one or two more ideas but who knows. Have a lovely day

If you have any questions please to ask me and if you need sources again ask 😽

Bisous Bye <3

[strawberryfairi]

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, lots of denial, angst, sneaky link, lots of cheating, mutual pining, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

(A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: First chapter might be a lil boring, but the tea begins in chapter 2)

w.c: 4.4k💠 Released: Jan 5, 2024

Next Chapter Chapters Masterlist

1; HOMECOMING 返校

It's homecoming today. One of the most stressful but most exciting days in the entire school year. It serves as a debut of both the cheerleading and dance teams, and of course the football team. In your case, today will be your first homecoming as dance team captain and choreographer.

Your freshman year was grueling, but you dedicated almost all of your time and energy into forming a proper dance team with high respect and credibility with the help of your good friend from senior year in high school, Emma Sano. Now, in your sophomore year, the grind absolutely did not stop. You have a team full of twenty girls (including yourself and Emma) to lead, and today will prove to be the hardest list of tasks you've ever checked through so far in your life.

"Mornin' baby." Your boyfriend Ken murmurs groggily, leaning over you to gently kiss your warm cheek. You're both snuggled up together in his dorm suite bed, as you had stayed the night in his room per his request. You smile tiredly, turning over to face him. "Morning."

The two of you have been together for quite some time now, a good two years and eight months. Though those years may seem significant or like a milestone, the relationship has always been stagnant. A boring, straight line. You're boyfriend is sweet, kind, mostly all of the above, yet he's just...never really been right for you. Why not break up?

Well, your parents are the ones keeping you both from leaving each other. Your mom, a part of the administration of the university, and Ken's father, the football coach, famous for cultivating champion players that later move on to the NFL in the states by senior year came together with the plan for you two to date.

Why not just do your own thing and date who you want? Your mom had made it clear that if you don't keep up the charade of the perfect college girl with great grades and a boyfriend with a great future, you'd be out of the school in a heartbeat, and out of dance for good. She says you need to be perfect in every way in order to gain success, especially as a dancer, and being already in a relationship will keep you from getting distracted by other guys during your four years.

Same goes with Ken and what his dad told him. In their pursuit of star students they went and 'hooked you two up', completely ruining what could have been a good friendship and maybe even relationship had they not rushed it. But honestly, it's not the utter worst being with Ken, though you wish you had a say in the kind of guy you wanted for yourself. It's hard having to force out a genuine sounding 'I love you' every day, and especially, have sex with someone you don't even feel anything for. Nevertheless, the two of you equally sucked it up and learned to 'love' each other.

"Big day today. You ready?" Ken grins, looking down at you with an excited smile.

"Nooooo." You groan, pulling the blankets over your head and snuggling up close to Ken's chest.

"Nah, don't say that! This is our big moment; been workin' hard for this." He shakes his head, tugging the sheets off of your head.

"I'm so nervous, and it's gonna be so hard trynna get the girls focused. You know all people think about is sex and the afterparties on homecoming." You frown.

"You're a leader, babe, they'll listen to you. It's just as important for them as it is for you. They'll tighten up when it's game time." Ken assures, stroking your bare shoulders comfortingly. You sigh, trying to bask in this moment of peace before the chaos inevitably ensues.

"Did you know I was approach by those school newspaper folks you always rant about yesterday? Allegedly, I'll be interviewed today since this is such a 'pivotal moment for the university, as the first ever dance team will be involved in the homecoming night experience'." You chuckle, doing a faux reporter voice.

"Oohh shit, they got you too, huh?" He lets out a breathy chuckle, flipping over onto his back, taking you along with him to rest on his chest.

"They sure did. At least I know what I'm getting into thanks to you, Mr. Quarterback. Maybe I'll see you at the interview room?"

"Maybe, depending on what time they want us there. We got interviews at ten a.m." He shrugs.

You pout with a light huff. "Awww, ours isn't till one."

"We'll see each other tonight, baby. We'll have the whole night actually." He purrs suggestively, sliding both hands down your back and giving your ass a firm squeeze.

"Hey hey hey! None of that till later!" You giggle, pushing away form him to try and get out of his tight grip.

"Can't wait..." He grins.

💎

Interviewer: "Can you discuss your vision for the team's performance at homecoming? What elements or themes do you plan to incorporate?"

"Considering it's the first year, how do you plan to make the performance memorable and reflective of the team's identity?"

"As a new dance team captain, how will you inspire and motivate your teammates, especially considering the excitement and nerves associated with a debut performance?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"They threw out all kinds of questions I wasn't ready to answer!" You rant into the phone, plopping down onto the chair outside of the interview room.

"I told you. It's intense ain't it?" Ken chuckles on the other side.

"Yeah! I feel like they should've at least done like a pre-interview or a practice run. It was so hard trynna answer those questions right on the spot like that!" You whine, facepalming. You take a deep breath then exhale, calming yourself down so you wouldn't annoy Ken with a bunch of ranting.

"Ugh, sorry, I don't mean to throw you off. I know you're getting ready too. How's everything going?"

"I'm all good, babe. I just wanna get on the field already." He murmurs.

"Facts. That's exactly how I'm feeling. It's gonna feel amazing once it's all over." You nod, fiddling with your top unconsciously. You hear the coach yell out to Ken from in the background, urging him back.

"Hang on, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, alright? Love you." He says abruptly.

"Oh ok. Love you!" You hang up with a little sigh, getting ready to go over into the next section of the day. Just a few more hours now until the game starts.

4 Hours Later

"GUYS!" One of your freshman girls, Himari hollered, bursting through the doors to the dance team dressing room. You and all the others who heard her paused your conversations, looking at her with the same confused expression.

"What's going on now, Himari?" You huffed with an exasperated sigh. You loved her, you really did, but damn she's always got something going on.

"My body glitter just broke and spilled all over the bathroom floor! I hate my life!" She wailed, slumping against the door behind her, sliding down dramatically.

"Oh shit..." You murmur with a heavy facepalm. The girls all gasp, rambling about how they'd be so pissed if that happened to them. You'd be pissed too not gonna lie, if your expensive ass Fenty Glow broke like that...oof, you'd be seething.

"Just like..lay some paper towels down over it or something until we can find someone to clean it." Emma tells her, putting her focus back on the final touches of her makeup. You didn't have time to solve not another issue, thankfully that was easily solved as one of the girls Reina just let her use some of her body glitter.

You're only half dressed right now and still need to do your makeup and hair with only forty five minutes left. Nude tights with your elastic ankle braces was all you had on, you're not eve sure if that could really count as half dressed. Hurriedly you strip out of your school hoodie, chest completely bare as you grab your costume tagged with your name from the long clothing rack.

The costume this year was ten thousand times better than last years, as this time you were able to utilize design student Takashi Mitsuya from the university across the way from yours. He absolutely slayed the outfits, bringing out exactly what you were imagining. Your school colors are black, white, and silver, so the main color of the costume is a shiny black with accents of silver. It's a bodysuit, long sleeved with the silver as sequins on the cuffs of the arms, neck, and around the legs. A large cut out on the left side of the stomach area is also outlined with the silver sequins. Simple, yet such an effective, sexy design.

When you finished changing you quickly got to work doing your makeup, sprawling your products out on the table next to Emma and plopping down into a seat, whipping out your beauty blender and brushes.

"Easy girl. We still have some time. You know you move fast." She says softly, checking out her makeup in the vanity. "I know, I know. I'll just feel better once I'm ready." You huff, priming your face before pumping some drops of foundation on your beauty blender.

For makeup everyone has a silver lid eyeshadow look with black winged eyeliner and small jewels lined across the liner, topped off with a nude pink lip. Your hair was simple, an afro that you picked out nice and big, your bangs slicked down like a headband so you could see while you dance.

After a bit over half an hour you along with all the girls were finally ready.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright y'all, when we get out there, it's complete focus. Lock the fuck in." You warn, tone dead serious. You and your team are huddled in a large circle near the entrance to the wide football field. It was almost time for your performance.

"Freshmen, bring your absolute A-game, y'all hear me?"

"Yes ma'am!" The answer back instantly.

"Now, it's time to stunt on those cheerleaders, okaaaay!" You beam, smiling wide enough to show off your single dimple on your left cheek. The girls cheered, laughing and making their little jokes and jabs at the cheerleaders.

The dance team vs. cheerleader rivalry had been going on ever since you started this program. Of course, the cheerleaders were always the number one attraction during homecoming and all other sports games, but now that you all came along, it's actually some competition for them. It boosts you up every time seeing them get flustered and annoyed when your girls and you steal the show. It's especially bad when the boys get involved.

"Let's line up!" You command, beginning the line while watching all the girls get into position behind you.

The announcer finally acknowledges the dance team, giving the queue for the lights to turn off throughout the stadium. The crowd hoots and hollers as the field goes black, save for the phone lights and moon shining down brightly.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself and rapid heartbeat, strutting out onto the field already in 'character'. The girls follow behind you, all getting into your practiced formation, waiting for the music and lights to come on.

After the thirty second time frame is up, the music begins, starting with the newest hit by Nicki Minaj: Everybody. Lights come on right when you all strike the first pose, making the crowd go wild.

~Aint' gang if you let shit slide Ain't bad if you gotta dick-ride Big guns and a lotta zip ties Said she look like me, quit lyin'~

You begin dancing, a little solo moment during the intro as the girls hold their pose. When the beat drops the girls join in, all of you going full out. The energy is so high all throughout the stadium, just how you want it. Some folks in the stands along with the football players on your side were dancing along excitedly. So far it's a hit.

3rd Person POV

Shuji's canon camera snapped shot after shot, taking skillful, clear pictures of the dancers in front of him. This was a pretty big opportunity, seeing as only the top students are allowed to photograph for events like homecoming and school newspaper posts, important things like that.

He didn't necessarily consider himself a 'good student', he honestly wasn't, yet the faculty couldn't help but acknowledge his talent as a photographer, so they gave him this chance.

He'd deliver though, and turn up with better pictures than the three other students out here snapping away half-assed, hoping for a couple nice shots out of nearly a hundred. They don't know how to wait, but Shuji does. He has a natural talent for patience when it comes to finding the right moment. It's like he can see it coming, then he freezes time, capturing it in perfect quality and light.

Looking through the viewfinder, he adjusts the lens, preparing for a shot right on the soloist. Waiting a few seconds he watches her dance, capturing the exact moment he was waiting for. She spins then stops in the perfect pose, one hand on her hip while the other arm is extended outward, her hand in an elegant gesture. Her leg is extended a bit with her arm, the ball of her foot on the ground giving her leg a slight bend.

His brows raise slightly as he looks up from the camera.

Her solo continues for just a bit longer before the other girls join, but for some reason, Shuji's eyes are still stuck on that one girl. He takes a moment trying to figure out what exactly about her made him react like that. She's a great dancer for sure, her movements fluid, exact, and graceful; sexy. But that's to be expected of an aspiring professional. Maybe it's her overall look, deep brown skin, big hair, and a gorgeous toned body. She's a sight, something interesting enough to catch his attention.

He goes back and forth, watching then snapping, watching then snapping. Then the girl spins once again, this time bringing her left leg into the air. It felt like slow motion what happened to him. Her anklet, looking as if it practically slid off her small ankle, flies right towards him just a few feet away from her. Instinctively he catches it with one hand, the other steadily holding the camera.

It's a gold anklet, real gold it seems. A chain with little designs carved into it. A light smirk makes it's way onto his lips as he places the piece of jewelry into his pocket.

Reader's POV

The dance routine lasted a grand total of twenty minutes, full halftime, and by the end you all were rushing with adrenaline. There wasn't a single mistake, and the stands were hyped. You couldn't help but smile as you all gracefully walked off the field and onto your designated spot on the bleachers, the section to the left of the cheerleaders.

The main event for the dance team was over, and it felt like a huge weight had come off your shoulders. You inwardly thank God that everything went better than you'd imagined from morning to now. All that's left is your short routines throughout the game, similar to what cheerleaders do, just without all the pep and bows.

Now you could officially pay attention to the game, and your boyfriend as the night went on. Apparently, your school the Jaguars had started out losing to the Kings, at a four point deficit until they started catching up. They'd officially surpassed the Kings just minutes before your performance.

There's a clean cut negativity that wafts over to your side of the bleachers whenever you and the girls do your routine coming right from the cheerleader side.

They have a captain as well, an upperclassman named Cho. She's a junior, and a bitch. You remember spending your first semester trying to become her friend for a while, but for some reason that you no longer care to worry about, she just never liked you. Her attitude whenever you spoke to her was ridiculous, so after a while you just stopped.

It was childish to you, the whole dance team vs. cheerleader rivalry, but it's how it just has to be apparently. There's no option of peace and being friends, so if they want to start shit you and your girls will be the ones to shut it down with poise. You knew why Cho was so mad right now, giving you her best side eye as you danced.

The cheerleaders didn't get as big of a spotlight this year seeing as the halftime show was dedicated to your choreography. Cameras and eyes were all pointed to the dancers, only occasionally turning to snap some pictures of the girls routines.

Did you feel bad? Hell no. You worked way too hard to be pressed about some hatin' ass girls in the back.

The game lasted another hour and about a half until it was finally over, a win for the Jaguars! The crowd was going insane, all the players huddled on top of each other in a pile, smiles everywhere. You felt like you were in a movie. The day was finally over, for both you and Ken. When the huddle broke up you hopped over the bleachers and past folks cheering, Ken unsuspecting as his back was towards you.

"Aaaaahhh!" You squeal excitedly, jumping up and wrapping your arms around him from behind. Ken makes a noise of shock before he realizes it's you, turning around and hoisting you up in his arms. Without a word the two of you kiss, completely blocking out the rest of the world.

Your hands cup his sweaty face as you continue, putting all your energy into it to show how proud you were. It's moments like these where your relationship actually feels real. Sharing a large accomplishment together, kissing publicly as a means of showing each other just how happy you both were.

Ken pulls away, setting you back down on the ground with a wide, beaming smile. "We did it babe!"

One of Kenny's teammates rather obnoxiously breaks your little moment up before you could even speak. "We gotta celebrate, man! Let's get to that party!"

Ohhh yes, the party...

Honestly, you weren't really in the mood for any parties, not after all the work you had to do today. If you could have it your way, you'd be chilling out in either yours or Ken's dorm room, having a special, intimate night with just each other. But he really wasn't that kind of guy. When the people need him, he shows up, and after something a huge as homecoming, he'd for sure be getting wasted tonight.

"Imma go and get changed and stuff now, K? I'll meet you out here unless you're gonna head to the party with the boys?" You tilt your head to the side.

"Nah, I'll wait for you." He shakes his head, giving you a peck on the forehead before you run off into the changing room.

As you make your way down the hall towards the dressing rooms for cheerleaders and dancers, it's nothing but hollering and cheers same as outside. You shake your head with a grin, pushing open the doors to the dressing room.

"WOOOOOOOO!"

A good seven of your girls cheer as you walk inside. You all do a little celebratory dance together, posting on each of your instagram stories as well as the dance teams insta page that you run.

"I just wanted to say on behalf of all of us that we're so proud of you and all the work you've been putting in since last year. We wouldn't have been able to pull off such an amazing performance without you and your creativity." Emma says with a proud smile. Your heartstrings pull and tighten at her sweet, heartfelt words.

"Ugh, stooop!" You whine, pouting your bottom lip out.

"No it's true! We love you so much, and we're so glad to have you as captain. You're so hardworking and always want the best for us; you're the best." Himari chimes in, placing a hand on her chest as she starts to tear up.

"Y'all...I don't even know what to say. That is just so sweet. I love y'all so much. I wouldn't even have my dance team dream come true without y'all joining and supporting me in the first place. So really I should be thankin' y'all." You sniffle, vision blurring from the tears pooling in your eyes.

"Wait! We absolute cannot cry this makeup off!" Emma outbursts, making you all laugh in response. She was right though, not only was our makeup bomb, but it also took forever and a lot of work to do. No crying tonight!

You all break up the sappy moment, going and getting semi changed for the afterparty. It was a frat party, so it was gonna be huge. Not only would the football players be there, but the basketball and soccer boys would pull up too. As you grab your sweatpants, you freeze just before you could step in with your left leg.

Something was wrong, your gold anklet was missing.

You distinctly remember putting it on before the show. This anklet was special to you, it being  something that your mom gave you as a fourteenth birthday gift. It's real gold with intricate designs in the chain, simple but elegant, and beautiful. You wear it for every performance, almost like a good luck charm even though jewelry isn't advised.

You gasp, searching all over your little area, the clothing rack, and even Emma's stuff which is sat next to yours.

"Guys!" You call out. Everyone turns to you, confusion on their faces.

"Have you seen a gold anklet around? It's just a simple gold chain." You add, your tone worried as you frantically start searching through everyone's things.

"An anklet? I haven't seen anything." Is all that goes around as the girls help you search in confusion.

"No no no." You repeat to yourself, feeling tears start to prickle in your eyes all over again. It couldn't be gone, it just couldn't.

"Don't worry, just try to backtrack, ok? When did you last see it?" Emma asks, coming over to your side and helping you look.

"I remember puttin' it on before the game. I know for a fact I was wearing it." You shake your head, still rummaging around.

"It might've come off at some point during the game..." She says.

"No, not on that big ass field, it could be anywhere! What if someone stepped on it?!" You ramble, getting all worked up and upset all over again. Emma gives you an apologetic look, unsure herself really of what to say or do to make you feel better about this. You both knew it was highly likely lost in the sauce, trying to find that thing out there is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

"I'm sorry girl." She says softly, placing a hand on your arm comfortingly. You let out a frustrated sigh, going back to putting your sweatpants on. Now you really weren't in the mood for this stupid afterparty.

You finish changing, packing all of your things into your Nike duffel bag lazily. "I'm heading out to the party with Ken, I'll see y'all." You call out to the girls still in the changing room. You all share quick goodbyes as you head out.

Standing in the hallway you take a second, looking out at the opening to the field one more time. You really loved that anklet, and hoped maybe it just came off while you were at the bleachers. If it fell off there, it may be a good chance it's still in the same spot..?

You purse your lips, brows furrowed as you decide to go and search. Deep down you had a feeling it wasn't going to be there, but you were hopeful that maybe that feeling was wrong. You run out passed the people still left chatting on the field and some of the bleachers. It had quieted down faster than you'd thought it would, everyone probably already heading home or to the afterparty. You make it over to the bleachers you'd been sitting at, placing your duffel bag down as you search the entire row along with the ones above and below it.

Nothing. No sign of your anklet at all.

With a defeated sigh you plop down on the bleachers, facepalming as you take in the loss of your special piece of jewelry. Now that you were still, you finally noticed your phone buzzing over and over in your sweatpants pocket.

It was like every app was screaming at you for attention at the same time. Instagram, Imessage, Snapchat, Twitter, the list went on. Opting for Imessage first, you look at all the texts you have.

Best Friend #1👩🏾‍🤝‍👨🏻 GET UR AZZ TO THIS PARTY LIL GIRL😤!! I need somebody to get sturdy wit

Y/N💜 I AIN'T NO LIL GIRL LIL BOY😤 Imma be there soon

Best Friend #1👩🏾‍🤝‍👨🏻 U trynna pick me up some fireballs👀🫦🙏🏼??

Y/N💜 🙄Bye Kei...

You loved Keisuke, he's like an annoying older brother to you, and always finds a way to make you smile, though you two don't talk too often.

Emmy's🩵 Hey so my brothers are actually taking me out to dinner tonight so I won't be at the party🥺. Have fun with Ryugujiiiiii😈

Aw damn, Emma won't even be at the party?! You frown a bit but understand. Her brothers love her like crazy so it made sense they'd wanna take her out to celebrate. You send a quick "Awww that's so sweet! I'll see you later girl" and exit out of the chat with her, finally looking at everything Ken sent.

Big K💖 Wya? Been waitin for a while

Big K💖 U comin?

Big K💖 The guys are pressing me

Big K💖 We're leavin now

Your jaw drops as you reread the last text. He just left without you?! Is he serious?! He was supposed to be your ride! Emma and the other girls had already left, and Emma's not even going to the party anymore. Immediately you open up your chat with Keisuke again.

Y/N💜 Bro... Why Kenny leave me😐

You didn't expect him to respond since he's at the party but you went and sent the texts anyways. Now you'd have to go and put your duffel bag back in your dorm then Uber all the way to the frat part. Ridiculous...

A/N 🧚🏾‍♀️: Y'all don't understand how excited I am about this story! Also, having Keisuke Baji as your best friend is just chef's kiss in my opinion, like, I did my big one with that! But yes anyways, so excited about this, definitely put my whole coochie in this story y'all so like eat it up! Like, comment, reblog for sure. See you in the next chapter💖✨

P.S.: I'll have the next chapter soon (I don't really have a schedule yet for updates but if you guys really like it then I'll prioritize)

[eisforeidolon]

Alrighty- Whaddya think of this?

I’ve been rewatching the show and am now at season 8. I shake my head at all the known moments in the show that hellers claim are canon ship bs, because you’d have to be stretch Armstrong to reach that far..

But something did nag me. There were times that Cas WAS the emotional support for Dean where I really thought it should have been Sam conversing with him. For the majority of the series we saw Dean be the caretaker, emotional support etc for Sam, and it never really came from anyone else- lest he was being manipulated by some evil person. However there were many times where that wasn’t reciprocated on screen. Cas would almost stand in for Sam when Dean needed someone, showed Dean a lot of compassion. (Please believe I’m being objective and not a stan in hiding). I think THAT dynamic confused people. Why didn’t they have Sam having those convos with Dean more? I mean, narratively I understand the need for Cas to move the plot forward with his specific role, but so many times it was an angsty Dean who I think NEEDED his BROTHER more than a convo with Cas. Now there are people who just wanted to sexualize Jensen/Dean and couldn’t possibly be linked the wincest as their puritan sensibilities just wouldn’t allow them. But OTHER fans seemed to have latched on to the dynamic of Dean and Cas because they saw Dean have emotional moments with him.

Now during my rewatch it pissed me off, because I realized that the writers were making some conscious choices to have Sam NOT fill that role for Dean. Like it seemed like they went out of their way at times to make Sam seem more indifferent to Dean. This is why- wildly unpopular opinion here- I didn’t like Sera Gamble! I think she isolated Sam away from Dean and had Cas fill in for Sam. That codependent brother thing I LIVE FOR, was kinda washed out during her seasons (in my opinion), but more so from one side. I think she didn’t really like Dean, period, but whereas I know Sam fans LOVE Gamble, I think she mischaracterized Sam a lot.

In my mind, Sam is just as in love with Dean as Dean is with him (whether that be wincest or brotherly is up to your interpretation). You remember when Rowena started really having a relationship with Sam? And then Jack, too? That was really the first time we’ve seen Sam have that type of side character interaction depth. It’s why Sam fans love those two characters because they related to Sam! Well, isn’t that why Dean fans loved Cas, too?

I dunno I’m ranting and probably make no sense, but I was definitely annoyed with the writers in quite a bit if my rewatch during seasons 4-7 because it seemed such a purposeful choice to NOT show Sam being for Dean what they chose to show Cas being. I think knot blurred the lines and did such a disservice to Sam. Ironically, I think Carver rectified this a lot! Even with the angst and separation, Carver’s seasons demonstrably showed the codependency and intense brotherly love. I prefer seasons 1-3 and then all of Carver’s seasons!

I couldn't remember any instances of Dean leaning on Castiel when there wasn't some obvious reason it wasn't a conversation with Sam. So I went through season by season, and ultimately, I think you have to look at what the plot arc between the brothers is. As I've said before, the one thing that I actually like about Dabb as a showrunner is finally dropping the constant circling back to brother conflict drama that, to me at least, felt more and more artificial. Even if we're talking about seasons 4-7, we have to start at the beginning, because I think the first three seasons are pointedly bringing the brothers back together closer than ever in preparation for all the apocalypse shenanigans to attempt to tear them apart.

In terms of Dean opening up, specifically, consider what happens in those seasons between them from Dean's perspective.

In season four, he comes back from hell traumatized only to realize Sam has been lying to him about using his powers and working with Ruby. When he asks Sam to explain because he's scared of the powers, Sam refuses to talk about it and says he wouldn't understand (4x04). So how can it be a surprise that when he wants to talk in the next episode, it's Jamie the bartender he chooses instead? Is it really strange he basically mirrors what Sam said about Dean not being able to understand when Sam confronts him about what Uriel said regarding him remembering hell (4x08)? Castiel (4x07) and Anna (4x10) conversing with Dean are more about their own fears and insecurities more than Dean's. When Dean does finally open up and is ready to actually talk about what happened in hell, it is to Sam (4x11). Except, it's pretty soon after that (4x14) where Sam throws it back in his face under the influence of the siren, calling him a weak, whiny burden who is just holding Sam back. Can it really be a surprise then that, again, next time Dean opens up it's to Tessa (4x15)? And then, when the doubts are basically exactly what Sam said, i.e. that the apocalypse really is too big for him to deal with and he is scared, he says it to Castiel instead (4x16)? Which I think is only validated to Dean when Sam says the same kind of thing all over again without the siren's influence when they fight in 4x21. They're in conflict and being torn in opposite directions, which is kind of the point. Actually communicating – if they both weren't too stubborn to do it – would basically halt season 4's entire plot in its tracks.

Without making this post five miles long, those kinds of things happen again and again in 5-7, too. Sam is literally not there to talk to when he leaves at the beginning of the season, and they don't get back together because they've actually sorted out all the shit between them from the previous events, but because Sam has realized he can't get out and Dean doesn't trust that Sam will continue to say no to Lucifer if they're apart. So when Dean opens up, it's to his hallucination of a therapist instead of Sam. Blow after blow follows thereafter. What they see of Sam's heaven being an entire absence of Dean. Everyone leaving Dean to grieve at Lisa's for a year knowing Sam is back(ish) the whole time. Soulless!Sam's actions, which (as unfair as it might be) Dean clearly had trouble separating out from regular Sam's. Sam's sanity hanging on by a wall, then being plagued by Hallucifer. Similar big conflicts and obstacles to frank conversation continue on into seasons 8 and 9, too.

I think you can fairly go fifty layers deep into what's going on in both of their heads in any of those instances and see where they're coming from, but Dean isn't going to be doing that as the one living it. From his perspective? There are a lot of reasons to not open up to Sam because of what's going on in their lives and how they each feel about it. So sometimes he does open up to others – which includes Castiel.

I definitely remember way back when I was a multishipper that a lot of D/C shippers said they started shipping the ship because Castiel didn't have that fraught history with Dean that Sam does with all the conflicts and misunderstandings. That's fine (although IMO it hardly held true for very long). However, to me it seems like Dean is just as likely to turn to a stranger (or the hallucination of one) as he is to turn to Castiel instead of Sam, so I don't really see it as some huge thing in the canon that really justifies thinking the ship is anything but certain fans over-investing in what they particularly like. I also think that Sam was just less and less likely to open up to anyone at all as the series went on – but when he does, it was also often with Castiel or Jody or Charlie or Rowena instead of Dean. Because the season conflict didn't rely on them being unable to communicate effectively with those other characters and the judgement of those other characters couldn't do as much damage if it was negative.

None of that even gets into the whole other issue of the underlying dynamics carried over from their childhood which also plays into things. Where Dean still sees his primary purpose as protecting Sam as his little brother rather than always seeing him as a true partner. Where he has self-worth and abandonment issues that make him unable to understand why Sam would value him and not be able to just get over his death. Where Sam is not only all too aware that Dean doesn't value himself and gets frustrated with that? But has spent so long fighting against what everyone else wants from him that he still sometimes treats Dean as a substitute for authority instead of a partner and pushes back at any disagreement with his (not always as) brilliant (as he thinks) plans as “bossing him around”? Where he also gets very agitated whenever Dean is not okay because he needs Dean to be okay to the point he insistently tries to fix it by making Dean talk when Dean isn't ready to. In short, they both have huge underlying issues that skew how they see each other and they're both stubborn as hell.

Then when you add on top of that how the writers had such a tendency to revolve the action arcs around Sam and the emotional ones around Dean as the viewpoint character that Sam's emotions and thoughts often seem like a mysterious locked box through large parts of the series? I do get why some fans can read that as Sam being indifferent to Dean, but I don't think that's the underlying intention or the case. Because of that focus choice, to a large extent we only see how badly Sam needs Dean when there's a threat of Dean not being there or Dean is taken away – but I would argue that we do really see it then. From not caring about Marshall Hall to wanting to try Doc Benton's solution to trying to suicide by demon to initially allowing himself to be manipulated by Ruby to taking on his Cage memories to the Rowena and Oskar debacle to how his montage life was entirely blurry except for his son and his grief over Dean.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

I forgot a couple of asks about Deuce that were related to the delinquent drawing from the other day, I’m sorry >< There are also some asks about the yesterday’s CheRid drawing~ And a couple of miscellaneous ones.

As always, thank you for your support!

Anonymous asked:

Bad boy Deuce X Ace? This seems to be potential.

And quite a lot of it, I agree! It’s interesting to think about how their dynamic would’ve changed if they met when they were younger. Ace isn’t a goody-two-shoe himself, but he’s more of a douche and troublemaker than an actual delinquent, so some stuff that Deuce does might’ve been “too far” for him… is what I wanted to say initially, but actually I think Ace could easily match Deuce’s badboyness if he wanted to lol I guess Deuce is a bad influence.

I feel like they would still argue all the time and Ace would still consider Deuce to be naive and dumb, but also rightfully think that Deuce is dangerous and he shouldn’t mess with him too much. He’d still mess with him though…

Ace also didn’t know that he would feel an actual attraction to someone like Deuce, but it’d definitely happen lol This stupid Deuce just looks way too cool and sexy sometimes, so Ace gets flustered.

hipsterteller asked:

Deuce put your tongue back...you look...turn on...

That’s the idea! He’s PROVOKING! He’s a bad boy! He wants you to be mad- wait, are you turned on?? Wait, wait-

hipsterteller asked:

Chenya!! Dude cover riddle please!

With his body? Sure, in a minute.

Anonymous asked:

Seeing you draw more TreyRiddle is making me so happy 😭 I hope Trey accepts Chenya's offering 👀 (I like the idea that Trey and Riddle are a little too shy to have sex in the first stages of their relationship so Chenya will gladly help the lovebirds to give the first step)

Thank you, Anon <3 I hope I’ll do more stuff with them in the future… Rewatching the first book has been interesting, Trey is even more desperate than we remembered him to be lol

Che’nya is a little shit-stirrer, but also the biggest TreyRiddle supporter since day one! He knows that Trey’s been thirsting for years. Che’nya is such a good friend! It’s not like he also wants to have fun with Riddle + knows damn well that he’s pretty much poking a bear when he displays Riddle like this~

Trey and Riddle would probably be shy, and while Riddle would be super shy in general, Trey would also be anxious that he’d scare Riddle off. But once he stops overthinking and starts doing, he’s going to be quite intense. So it’s a good thing that Che’nya is here to make sure it’s no brains all lust zone~

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

YO CHENYA SHOULD ACTUALLY CANONLY MAKEOUT/SCREW RIDDLE

Imagine the drama

He absolutely should, and it’s a matter of time before Trey jumps into it too lol I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Riddle’s mom was right, these boys are WICKED

Anonymous asked:

Do Chenya and Trey, just gang bang riddle?

Wink

In all honesty, it depends on Trey’s reaction; I expect him to be hesitant at first and maybe even mad at Che’nya, but join in once he sees just how sweet and helpless Riddle is.

Anonymous asked:

hewwo orthoxreader smut writer here to say i followed right away Oruvil's shipper's blog nwn thank you for sharing the ask, Ryu!

Hehehe yay that’s great to hear! <3 You’re very welcome! I’m glad I could help.

Anonymous asked:

I've been meaning to ask. How do you feel about The tweels x Azul? No tweelcest, Azul is just dating both of them

It’s in my pinned, Anon; we don’t ship them, we dislike this ship.

[izloveshorses]

I particularly love the line where Lily casually says "You're not pregnant, are you?" And Anya's all flustered "What? No!" And then "Good, that would complicate things." 🤣🤣🤣 That would indeed complicate things!

What about the prequel?

haha, lily's not wrong!!

alrighty, director's cut commentary of this fic below the cut:

i wrote a similar setup yeeeeears ago when i first started seriously writing fic, but this time they actually. kiss and stuff askldhjf 🌚

i just love the meant to be/ ballet scene. it's probably my favorite part of the whole show. there's so much drama! the costumes! the longing!!!! the stress!! it's so perfect. they've somewhat acknowledged feelings for each other, but they haven't acted on it, so we're left in this really awkward place right after iacot where the sexual tension is thick and they have a real reason now why they can't be together (anya is anastasia, princesses don't marry kitchen boys conmen, etc). i could live in this state of imbalance forever. i'll never get tired of writing or reading it.

so why not have them sneak away to fuck, you know? i mean, that's not what they set out to do lol but at this point in the show they are One conversation away from going at it.

i don't think dmitry is exactly anya's priority in this moment, but i think she's in a lot of stress for what she has to do, since so much is at stake here, and her feelings for him are only adding to the pot of complications and confusion. so when he follows her to comfort her he unknowingly makes her heart hurt more and gives her a reason to bring it up. and i think anya has some abandonment issues (they both do lbr) so she's feeling weird about how he practically rejected her during iacot and the possibility that her grandmother might reject her tonight too. emotions are high. you know how it is. when you're like '... this won't solve my problems but i think making out would fix me.' and again, they're in this really awkward spot in their relationship, so it was fun to write it Snap.

the original vision was they do it in a rehearsal room, dmitry was gonna lift her onto a piano like in pretty woman 😌 but i can't remember if i decided to save that concept for something else (?) or if i wasn't sure about the likelihood of them actually having access to a rehearsal room while a ballet was going on (i was literally looking up blueprints of palais garnier 💀) or what ahlsdjfk but now they're in a bathroom. and it's always fun to think about The Characters in fancy gala attire getting nasty 🙈 and like. shedding the layers of their period drama clothes. i only bought this dress so you could take it off, if u will

i know this is a pretty quick and intense hookup, but i think it was more emotional than either of them anticipated. like it's more than the physical nearness they're craving, it's about like. the need to be seen by and connect with someone spiritually. and i love a mirror metaphor. bc they're the same at their cores, you know??? and this needed to be satisfying but not quite satisfying, if that makes sense. like it's a good hookup lol but they realize too late how Big their feelings are for each other and they think this is the only chance they'll get (it's not, she's your wife, you dumbass!) so it's intense and sad at the same time. the "i can be your mistress or something" line makes me laugh every time, he's so silly 🙈

i also really liked the debt metaphor, it perfectly sums up the way dmitry views the world. and this, as well as the verbalizing/daydreaming of what Could Be and how there could be a theoretical next time, sets up the next installment to the series pretty nicely.

[aihoshiino]

Do you know about Attachment style theory? If yes, then what do you think would be oshi no ko character's attachment style? I think it is fascinating to think about

It's not something I'm suuuuuuper keyed into just because of a lack of time to look into it myself, but I definitely think a lot of things about Ai and Ruby in particular make a lot of sense when viewed through that lens! Kana and arguably Aqua also have shades of this but Ai and Ruby imo have the mostly clearly communicated and demonstrated cause -> effect from their histories of neglect and abuse on their 'adult' relationships. Neither of them are quite 'textbook' examples (tho tbh, nobody is) but they both come across as pretty clearly insecurely attached in relationships.

Ai is repeatedly, textually called out as being 'avoidant' and having difficulty when it comes to expressing her emotions and wholeheartedly reaching out to others. Obviously, this is complicated a lot by the neurodivergency of it all and a lot of characters pretty clearly project aloofness or collectedness onto her where it doesn't exist, but I also think it's undeniably that the horrific abuse and neglect she suffered at Ayumi's hands laid the foundation for all her social issues going forward.

Ruby has shades of a disorganized attachment style to me, which I think makes sense given that she grew up as Sarina with the twin traumas of being terminally ill and then abused and abandoned by her mother AND THEN losing Ai in such a horrific way and and such a young age. As such, she gets pretty intense about the close relationships she does have and seems to feel particularly sensitive to potential upsets to them - see her getting so upset when Aqua starts breaking their promise to have family dinners together on Sundays while he's filming LoveNow.

Obviously it doesn't explain ALL of their behaviour, but like I said - I think it's an interesting lens to analyse the series through. Oshi no Ko imo is at its best when it narrows its focus to the core idea Akasaka highlighted of (to paraphrase him a bit) a person's environment warps and affects their relationships. So much of the character drama in OnK is about characters dealing with the baggage they carry as a result of their pasts and attachment theory is an aspect of that.

[hpowellsmith]

March Reading

I read a lot of books this month, and had great luck with how much I enjoyed them! Favourites are bolded.

Brute: Stories of Dark Desire, Masculinity & Rough Trade - ed. Steve Berman

A collection of dark erotica stories about queer men: a variety of horror, thriller, and character studies. Some didn't entirely land for me as they were just a bit too gruesome for me to entirely enjoy, but I did love 'Dark, Firm, and Dry' by Rien Gray, 'Dick Pig' by Ian Muneshwar, and 'The Boy Who Went Forth To Learn What Fear Was by LC Von Hessen'; 'Suitcase Sam' by Tom Cardamone was horrific enough to disturb me afterwards. There were a few trans guy protagonists but amid a lot of lovingly-described gigantic cis men, trans men didn't get described as objects of desire; it made me realise how much I'd like to read more erotica or steamy romance where a trans man is written in the lavish/idealised/thirsty way a lot of the cis men were in this collection. It was also interesting that most of the protagonists were strongly submissive; it's sparked off a lot of offline conversations about erotic fiction and depictions of kink therein, and my own thoughts about how I write erotic scenes (though I don't consider what I write intensely kinky). I'd enjoy writing more about this subject but I'm not sure Tumblr is the place for it; maybe a blogpost one day?

Love Kills Twice - Rien Gray

I adored this high-heat F/NBi romantic suspense book. The characters were hot and appealing, with a lot of substance and groundedness to them along with it. The plot was tight and I devoured the whole thing at top speed. Much recommended!

The Salt Path - Raynor Winn

A memoir about a fifty-year-old farmer and her husband who became homeless and walked England's South West Coast Path. Powerful and evocative in places: I enjoyed it, though some of the descriptions and dialogue of the people encountered melted into one another a bit. I'm realising that I rather like these people-hit-rock-bottom-and-walk-in-the-wilderness-about-it books. They always inspire me to look outward and get outdoors, albeit in a lower-key way.

The Eye in the Door - Pat Barker (reread)

This was quite nostalgic for me, because I read it a long time ago (before the first in the series, actually). I like elements of it more than Regeneration - getting to know Billy Prior better, the city scenes, depiction of queerness and homophobia beyond what Siegfried Sassoon talks about in Regeneration, some of the socialist politics and class consciousness - but the main plot hadn't fully stuck with me. I think I see why: there are several long sequences that I found hard to focus on, and some of it is a bit strange, veering into depictions of multiple-personality-disorder that have been pretty debunked nowadays. Still, I enjoyed revisiting it. The sense that William Rivers is on the verge of breakdown feels palpable and gripping.

Love Bleeds Deep - Rien Gray

Justine and Campbell are on a not-so-idyllic not-exactly-honeymoon in France, growing accustomed to life together and the combination of enjoying a private life and Campbell's deadly occupation. This doesn't shy away from the psychological damage both leads have suffered, while also showing exactly how much they mean to each other. Again I loved it just as much as the first one.

Love Burns Bright - Rien Gray

So many romance books focus on the sexy getting-together part, and sequels don't always keep the spark going. But this series is so good for that and for keeping the emotional connections between the gorgeous characters. In this one, we meet Justine's family, which is already fraught as Justine wasn't in a position to be in touch with them for a long time - but things soon get complicated. I loved it.

A Love So Dark - Rien Gray

Such a good finale for an amazing dark queer romance series! The relationship between Justine and Campbell is beautifully drawn and as hot as ever - no weird misunderstandings or other relationship-drama nonsense - but their situation is anything but settled as some consequences from earlier books come back to haunt them. What a fantastic series this is! Some of the books I've read about nonbinary characters treat them as learning opportunities, or as nice best friends, or as a vehicle for positive rep, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see a fully-formed, hot, flawed, adult nonbinary character making their way through excellent thriller plots. I love Campbell and Justine and I'm sorry to see them go, but it was an amazing ride with them.

Valerin the Fair - Rien Gray

A beautifully-written fantasy novella, the first in the Out of True series about sapphic knights. The details are so lovely - they remind me of what I loved about the prose style in Spear by Nicola Griffith - and the intimate scenes are stunning. You can download this for free, so if this sounds like your cup of tea, do give it a look!

[llawlieta]

What’s your most unpopular DN opinion? (It can be about canon, fanon the fandom)

This is a hard to answer question for me because I don't know that I have many unpopular opinions, or any at all?! So I'm just going to ramble a little bit at you. I hope this is the quality content you were looking for.

I am FAR from confident that my own characterization of Light and L is right, but I sometimes feel like my view of them is an unpopular one because I see different sides of fandom taking certain traits and pulling in totally different directions - Light is either dramatic with a hair-trigger temperament and ready for Violence OR he is very soft and fluffy. (Or, he is either constantly openly and shamelessly putting women down or actually a #feminist.) Same thing with L. L is very soft and gentle and full of angsty feelings, or (and I think the following is a view that some people have adopted as a rejection to the Uwu L ™ characterization that was king in the early days of the fandom, sjsksjd) he is a confident asshole with almost no consideration towards other people beyond what is useful to him to be able to solve a case.

But then of course I know this is a bit like saying nothing because all fandoms will do this to their blorbos, and all characters are more complex than you'd think from a cursory search through their Tumblr tag. I was discussing this with a beloved friend and she illuminated me by mentioning that fandom... just loves Drama and Heightened Feelings... People consume the source material and want more Feels out of it (especially media like Death Note, I'd imagine, which really doesn't spend more time than necessary dwelling on anyone's feelings) and so they take... Light having a yelling fit and make it a very prominent trait of his personality. Or L having a soft moment and fill him with soft feelings that are coming out all the time. Which is a reasonable instinct to have! even though I think the interesting part of those moments in canon is precisely the fact that they are extraordinary in some way.

So I AM saying nothing and this does happen in every fandom, and contrary to what that cursory search through any fandom tag would tell you, a lot of people certainly treat the characters with subtlety and pay careful attention to all of their dimensions. I mean, evidently, most people do it much better than I could ever hope to do!! (In my defense I have to say that if I stress myself out with writing Light and L properly in-character I will drive myself insane, so not doing it is Self Care for me). But, ah! hopefully this is still some sort of answer, anon!

The L thing bothers me more, because he is my beloved boy and because I think people insist a bit too much on the view of him as confident asshole who doesn't give a fuck. Cleverer people than me have discussed this, particularly in the Lawlight server in which I am, but L does in fact Give Some Fucks. I'm noticing it more now that I'm rereading the manga! A lot of soft little L moments are making me sort of understand why people back in the early fandom days really ran with that Soft Uwu L interpretation haha. It's not remotely accurate to reduce him to those traits! but it's not accurate either to reduce him to the opposite ones?

And I feel like the same phenomenon happens with Lawlight, My Beloved Ship. Sometimes it feels like, if people don't portray them as a very soft and fluffy couple, they can portray them as a couple that would be so toxic and unhealthy that they couldn't have a normal, loving relationship without mind games and manipulation always running through the undercurrent of it. Idk we all know these boys are crazy insane but I don't think they'd be quite THAT toxic!!

Rereading the manga has made me have the realization once again that (I think) L and Light honestly just fit together very well, and don't hate each other with nearly as much venom and intensity as one might think, and there's a lot of common interests and genuine mutual appreciation and fun in their relationship. Particularly in a no notebook AU where there'd be no need for 70% of their mind games of course lol, but it's also there just, like, canonically.

↑ they discuss the news and buy groceries together and read different books silently on the couch actually.