#look i will make this ship a big deal on tumblr

[erose-this-name]

Kabru is such a brilliantly written character, one of the best in Dungeon Meshi (which is a high bar as it is, most of the main cast are similarly genius). 

His thing is that he is very friendly and nice confident and maxed out his charisma stat, but is also kinda ambitious and manipulative. But not in an overtly malicious way. Which kinda scares me.

The most impressive thing about him, writing wise, is that it’s all show-don’t-tell. He very frequently uses his charm and empathy and understanding of how people think in really clever ways.

We’re often walked through his thought process of how he does these social deductions. We’re never told he’s scarily charismatic, besides other characters reacting to him being scarily charismatic.

Kabru is a natural-born leader and social engineer with superlative skills in both, which makes him the perfect foil for Laios, who’s too autistic and unambitious that he’s not even the de facto leader of his own party that he’s the official leader of. He’s so bad at leadership that his party just, sort of, doesn’t have a leader. They just kinda argue and do stuff.

What’s also neat, and perfectly inline with Meshi’s general theme of clever and logical subversions of fantasy tropes, is that Kabru’s character design in no way clues us in on this fundamental character trait of his.

He’s sort of a human fighter / knight archetype, which in the language of fantasy RPGs is a class most would associate with being a white bread jock, chivalrousness optional.

(Laios subverts the same trope in the same way. It’s really funny that the walking exposition dump of the group looks like the character creator default preset spec’d as the most generic class available.)

If Kabru was a bard or noble and Laios a wizard, their character traits would be far less interesting

Even better is that we would expect someone who looks like Laios to have Kabru’s personality, and vice versa. Their character designs are flipped; the confident super charismatic leader is a short wide-eyed twink, while the slightly naive and very autistic monster enthusiast is a tall conventionally attractive Aryan lookin’ mf.

(see what I mean by Kabru being such a good foil for Laios?? No wonder everyone ships them, they’re perfect for each other!)

Yet, their designs also work for them. Kabru just has a face that’s easy to talk to, his piercing blue eyes and curly hair gives him a false sense of naïveté, while his iconic 👁️👁️ expression hints that there’s actually quite a bit going on inside his head. Meanwhile, Laios believably looks like someone who doesn’t know what hair conditioner is. His armor’s collar gorget thing is also pretty dorky.

You can’t trust people like that (I mean overly charismatic people with a manipulative streak, not blue-eyed twinks) because you can’t know what their real motives are. You can’t know they aren’t pretending, you can’t know they aren’t trying to or haven’t already manipulated you. How could you? When he has so much more social intelligence than you do, average socially awkward Tumblr user? He’s touched all the grass!

In episode 16 (spoilers, btw) Kabru finally meets Laios’s party, who he’s been trying to find and fight for the better part of the season, and he just decides that no confrontation is necessary. Like, immediately upon meeting the guy. Just from how Laios looked at him. He figures that since Laios didn’t seem to recognize him, they either have never met meaning he has the wrong guy, or Laios forgot meaning he didn’t think it’d be a big deal, meaning the treasure was a trap or something. Which is pretty in line with Kabru’s established ability to always roll nat 20s for every charisma and deductive reasoning check, so cool.

But he doesn’t even seem curious about which of those cases is true. (He might be interested to find out some of the treasure wasn’t dangerous, but accidentally got thrown off a bridge). Much to Rin’s dismay, he’d rather just not bring it up because that could upset the leader of the party he might be working with for the foreseeable future.

Actions speak louder than words. So, all we really learn in this scene is that Kabru’s goals and M.O. can change on a dime, and that he values reputation and political capital more than money and vengeance. More than his own party’s desire for those things. Not only is he someone with a silver tongue, but he knows its value and is determined to use it at every opportunity.

Kabru and his party might not be very good at fighting or surviving in the dungeon, in fact their frequent TPKs are a running gag. But, he also doesn’t need to be when he can just manipulate Laios’ and Shuro’s much more proficient parties into helping him.

So far, Kabru seems like the most likely one to become king of the dungeon or whatever the mcguffin is. He is the only protagonist so far who has said that’s an actual goal of his. He’s said that he doesn’t think someone like Laios who isn’t a born leader should get it.

In fact, Kabru seems to have very strong opinions on what kinds of people should be allowed to adventure in the dungeon, evidenced by the fact that he murdered an entire party over it, justified or not. Kabru seems to think that Kabru is such a leader, and he’s probably right about that, but what kind of leader? 

What would Kabru do with that kind of power if he gets it? Because I’m not sure. All I know is that he is the kind of person with the ability to use real political power to its full potential. For good, or for very, very bad.

I’m not saying that Kabru is evil or that he’s secretly gonna be the surprise villain. I dunno, I haven’t read the manga. He could just be a nice guy that’s just, like, is like that. Everything he’s done could be justified by the explanations he’s given. He actually reminds me a lot of one of my IRL friends, and I’d trust him with my life.

But, I can’t help but feel a distinct sense of unease whenever he’s on-screen. I try not to trust confident natural-born leaders like him right out of the gate. I don’t like that our instinct as humans is to blindly follow them without thinking about it.

Tyrants and psychopaths also use confidence and charm and a friendly demeanor to make people think they’re a good guy, while manipulating everyone into thinking their self-serving actions are altruistic. Benevolent, confident, skilled leaders do exist. But there exists many more snakes wearing their skin. Wolves rarely bother with sheep’s clothing, they dress as shepherds and sheepdogs.

Anyway, my point is that I think it’s kinda neat that it’s possible to overthink this much about a character whose probably just a nice guy that is the mirror opposite of an autistic person. Writing that kind of ambiguity is hard, and employing it in this way is inspired.

[bowtiepastabitch]

Here's the deal on the Good Omens limbo situation. My optimistic and analytic two cents, if you will.

If we look at this through a capitalistic lens, the chances of the show being cancelled are pretty slim at the moment. Think for a moment about the top three amazon prime originals that you pay/keep the platform for. Can you think of three? I honestly can't, not off the top of my head. I know I'm not really the target audience for streaming services, since I don't watch a lot of new shows, but still. I can name plenty of netflix shows I like/might watch. That's why Netflix can cancel anything and everything so easy. They don't have just one or two fandom cash cows.

Amazon, though, doesn't have a lot. Here's a list of all their original shows. I only even recognize 8 titles. I've only actually watched 2. Plus, Good Omens is currently one of the biggest fandoms in fandom right now, with Aziracrow being the top ship on ao3 for the Jan-Dec 2023 wrap up and again on the Summer 2024 leaderboard, as well as the top ship on tumblr and Good Omens as the top tv show (plus second overall after Artists on Tumblr) for 2023. We're a big deal, and I'd bet money that they're betting money on us. I also lowkey think we're the reason Amazon is spending money on a british miniseries starring Michael Sheen tbh but that's just speculation. The show has also won a slew of awards, the same of which cannot, to my knowledge, be said of many of their other properties.

So let's talk production changes; I think there's a good chance they're doing this for the same reason. Our fandom had unique access to the creator via tumblr, and a majority of the conversation around the allegations of SA against Gaiman were and are taking place in fandom spaces. There have been petitions to fire him from the show and conversations (both productive and otherwise) about the duties of fandom when engaging with content connected to problematic individuals. Meanwhile, Gaiman has effectively dissappeared from the internet. Additionally, the video and threads sharing that Terry Pratchett wrote most of the original book have been making the rounds here and I think on the bird app(?). All that to say, if they're betting on us they want to make us happy and keep their good PR. I don't ever expect a major corporation to make a "good" decision, but they will always make the profitable one.

There is, of course, also the matter of the Pratchett estate and the other major players in the matter: the actors, directors, and creative team. These are forces at play with the power to block or stall productivity and profit for Amazon through copyright and labor power. I can imagine there's conversations happening backstage that we don't know about as well as what we see in headlines.

Ultimately, I think the biggest risk to season 3 is unfortunately going to be Neil Gaiman himself and how he responds to the situation at hand. If he steps back quietly, we're living in our best case scenario and everything moves forward as much according to plan as can be expected with at least this small justice being served. I see a hissy fit on his end as the greatest potential wrench in proceedings, but that would exacerbate the (currently quiet in the mainstream) bad PR for him so I give it low odds.

All that to say. From a pragmatic viewpoint, Amazon's best interest seems to be entirely tied to ours as a fandom, and I anticipate Season 3 being made and most likely being only minorly delayed. Either way. What happens behind the scenes in corporate office buildings between rich white men is entirely out of my and your control. I know how huge anxiety can get when it relates to a special interest or a community that has a huge role in your life, and whatever happens we're in this together as a fandom. It's going to be alright. Take a deep breath and maybe get some water. Whatever happens, we're in this together as a fandom, and at least it won't be the end of the world;)

[antimony-medusa]

One of the things that I think sometimes gets lost when we talk about what's appropriate in fandom spaces is the notion that things can be appropriate in one space, but not for another. And that doesn't mean that the thing that's inappropriate in that setting is wrong, it just means that it's rude in that space. I think people want a single set of rules that's appropriate everywhere, but the thing is, you have to be able to assess the situation, and adjust your behaviour accordingly.

So an example. I have a fairly popular text post that was me asking about c!phil and religion in all innocence, and someone said "the only thing I have to say about c!phil is that he worships on his knees, thank you and goodnight". And I reblogged it like "I can't believe I forgot about how this fandom does phil analysis", cause it was at the height of the dilfza memes.

Anyways that's obviously a phil-is-happily-married/oral sex joke, in an oblique innuendo way, and on this site, where Phil is not here, and his friends are not here, with it being clear I was talking about the block man character, and we make jokes about sex and profanity (a very popular url scheme for a long time was "[name]shugecock" (or smalldick, depending on the joke)— that's a fine joke to make. I'm an adult, I can make sex jokes about fictional characters on the sex joke fictional character social media site.

If I was to make that joke in Philza's twitch chat, a) in his face, b) with his wife modding, c) in an enviroment where people aren't prepped for sex jokes, d) with it being not clear if I was talking about the cubito or about the real guy, that would be wildly inappopriate. I would be banned in every chat Philza mods in and I would deserve it.

That doesn't mean that it's inappropriate to make the joke in the first place though, just because I wouldn't do it at a Phil meet and greet. It means you gotta learn to read the room. (And like, sometimes it's hard to learn to read the room, but you can do it by pure brute-force memorization. I did.)

This is the same theory that underlies the fact that you can call your friends a bitch in a friendly way, because you are friends and you know each other's boundaries, but if you call your boss a bitch, you will be fired. There are rules about workplace appropriateness, and there are rules about what's appropriate in front of kids (I teach teens, I do not swear in front of them, I swear a LOT in front of my roommate), and there are rules about what's appropriate in different fandom spaces. Participating in an exchange about pregnancy and babies with your favourite blorbo of the moment? Great. Showing the actor gift art you got of him pregnant? No. Bad. Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.

The thing that concerns me is that I think there are slight signs that as we get more comfortable with sexy jokes and offcolour remarks as a MCYT fandom (QSMP is the big banner example but it happens with other smps), we're taking what's appropriate in one space (tumblr, home of the brain worms, where I have seen the blog "philzaswetpussy" on my dash), and we're bringing it into places that it's not appropriate (sure, slimeariana is clearly canon, but maybe don't put the actual dicks-out fan art in the art tag on twitter that slime checks). Cause we can obviously tell that the rules twitter is going with are silly for here, so it's full speed ahead for roier/spreen etc, but the trick here is that it's full speed ahead HERE, or in fandom servers, and not necessarily in the streamer's faces.

We have a bunch of situations where creators have said that it's not their place to weigh in on shipping or nsfw etc, and people have taken that as a go ahead and that's fine, but thats still something where I'd like, caution people that just because they said "not gonna look at it not my deal", that doesn't mean that like, you should make it difficult for them to avoid looking at it. Talking about scitties is an honourable tradition, but telling scar that he makes you question your sexuality in his TTS— I made a horrified noise in real life and the cats came to look at me.

And I'm talking about the shipping, but this is also a thing with like— sometimes I see a streamer and I go "my friend you just vividly described neurodivergent symptoms" but it is ABSOLUTELY not my place to say that in their chat. It might not even be appropriate to make comments about it on my blog, with the amount of followers I have. I have to keep the "streamer just described the ADHD experience again :pensive:" comments for the group chat. And we all nod and go "yeah sounds like streamer", and we do not put it in his face, cause that's inappropriate.

We get to have fun with the fictional characters, including off-colour fun, but we still have to remember that there are real people who don't know us who are steering those fictional characters around, and it can be profoundly weird to see some of the (stuff that is appropriate in fandom spaces!) just up in your face in the regular fan art tag.

Just think about the space you're in, and who you're in front of, and if a CC notice is actually likely, and if a CC notice would be Very Bad actually with what you're doing, and keep the "world's sluttiest absent father" bracket (with associated slutty fan art) for here, not with the streamer tagged on twitter.

[maychorian]

Found Family Anime Recs

I recently reblogged a list of found family anime recs and was a bit surprised by how many reblogs and likes it got. I had really reblogged it just so I can find it later to watch the shows I hadn't already seen on the list, but apparently I have a lot of followers who are interested in this topic! Well, I've watched a lot of anime, so here are ten found family anime shows that I absolutely love. These are in no particular order.

Buddy Daddies

This show is similar enough to Spy X Family that you might be tempted to call it a rip-off. It's really quite different though. There's a lot less comedy (though there's still SOME comedy) and a lot more healing from past trauma. The animation is gorgeous, and the relationships really tug at my heart. It's more realistic than Spy X Family, in some ways, though it's still pretty ridiculous. The melodrama in the last couple of episodes did annoy me a bit, but it's still a very satisfying show. It's like a fanfiction I would write, which is really the highest recommendation I can give, haha, because that means it's exactly the kind of story I would like. 

2. Samurai Champloo

This show was made by much of the same team that created Cowboy Bebop, but for some reason it never got the same cult status, which is really too bad. I love Cowboy Bebop, but I love Samurai Champloo more. It's about two ronin and a teenage girl traveling through Edo-era Japan to find someone the girl is looking for. Throughout the series, the three form a very strong bond, despite all of their communication difficulties and past traumas. I've rewatched this show probably more than any other anime. It's brutal at times, but so very satisfying.

3. Natsume Yuujin-cho

Natsume lost his parents as a young child and was passed around from relative to relative, most of whom couldn't deal with him because his ability to see yokai (Japanese folk spirits) made him a freak in their eyes. As the series starts, he's finally taken in by an older couple in a rural village who actually want him, and he's finally able to start forming connections with other people and find a support system with his new caretakers, his peers, and the yokai he tries to help. It's a very sweet, sad series, much more sentimental than the first two entries on this list, but a very soothing and lovely watch when you are in need of some relaxation. Warning, though, the flashbacks to Natsume's past families can be truly gutwrenching. He was not treated well for a very long time, and it's hard to stomach.

4. Barakamon

Handa is a calligrapher who gets essentially exiled to a remote island after causing problems on purpose. He has a hard time connecting with people and is struggling with his art. Over the course of the story, he forms relationships with his neighbors, especially an adorable child with possibly the best child voice-acting I've ever heard, and slowly rediscovers his joy in creation again. It's cute and funny and beautiful, and it makes me want to live on a remote Japanese island.

5. My Roommate Is a Cat

Subaru is a young novelist who recently lost his parents, who were pretty much his only connection to humanity. While trying to recover from this massive loss, he adopts a stray cat who quickly becomes the most important creature in his life. Through the cat, he begins to form relationships with other people, as well. The show is unique in that the first half of each episode is from the human's POV and the second half is from the cat's POV. It's a very lovely and soothing show. Pets are family, too!

6. Haikyuu

Haikyuu was the show that opened my eyes to the aspect of found family in sports anime. I know a lot of tumblr enjoys Haikyuu for the shipping, but to me it's more satisfying to view it through the lens of found family. Each team is essentially their own found family, in their own unique way, and the relationships are particularly realistic and well-depicted by this mangaka. I love Tanaka being a big brother to the first years, Kuroo and Kenma's mutual protectiveness and support, all of it. 

7. Kuroko no Basuke

This is the silly basketball show, and in my opinion it's not as good as Haikyuu, but I love the relationships here as well. Especially between Kuroko and Kagami, of course. Their mutual protectiveness is just chef's kiss. But the whole Seirin team is really great. I love them so much. The teamy goodness is what makes the silliness watchable for me.

8. One Piece

What is there to say about One Piece? This is, like, the ultimate found family show. All of the pirate crews with any kind of goodness at their core are found families, but especially the Strawhats. Luffy is just going around looking at people and declaring, "Okay, you're in my family (on my crew) now." If you've never watched One Piece before, I'm going to make an unorthodox recommendation and suggest you watch the live action Netflix adaption first. It does a really good job of capturing the feel and aesthetic and just pure loveliness of this story in a much more compact and approachable way than the anime. However, if you like it, I do recommend that you watch the anime from the beginning, because there is a lot of expansion on the themes there, and the characterization is slightly different. Usopp in particular kinda got shorted in the live action, so you'll understand him a lot more if you watch his introduction arc in the anime. But honestly both versions are great. I'm on my third rewatch of the live action version already, and I will watch and rewatch the anime until I die, probably. One of my favorite stories of all time.

9. The Weakest Tamer Began a Journey to Pick Up Trash

I found this one slightly annoying in how it was obviously carefully designed to tug at my heartstrings, but it's working, so I don't have much right to complain. It's about a little kid driven out of her home who gradually gathers a found family of both monsters she tames and adult adventurers and guardsmen who take one look at this lonely child and go, "Well, guess I have a baby now." The isekai element is very lowkey, in that she basically just has a voice in her head giving her advice, and I like that it's about fighting local corruption instead of a demon army or what have you. I want more shows like this and less shows like every other generic isekai, haha.

10. Dungeon Meshi

This show is blowing up tumblr right now, so you've probably already seen it a billion times, but I'm going to make one more appeal for you to watch/read this story. It is so, so so good. And in my opinion, it is much MUCH more about family, both born and found, than it is about shipping. I could write a whole essay about Marcille and Falin's relationship that has nothing to do with romance, as I could for any other two (or three or four) characters in the main party, plus those outside. There is a LOT going on. I've been playing RPGs and LARPs for twenty years, and one reason I love the hobby so much is for the joy of creating found families with my best friends in new and different worlds, over and over again. This is the first piece of fiction I've found that really captures that particular aspect of party-based fantasy stories, the relationships that form and grow, the tight-knit bonds that keep everyone moving forward despite the monsters you must face (and consume). 

[sunglassesmish]

one thing that really annoys me and that i normally wouldn’t bitch about on main but i’m just not feeling all that great today so i’m gonna - is how some people who ship buddie but liked tommy - both in general and with buck - are acting. (editing this to say it got really long and a little off topic so proceed with caution)

before 7x10, they’d be like omg he’s so funny, so considerate, he’s so cute/handsome!! with an added disclaimer of (i still ship buddie and i think they’re gonna be endgame but i’m enjoying tommy and him with buck in the meantime!)

and then after that dinner scene, it was like a switch flipped. he’s so disgusting, insensitive, how dare he make a daddy issues joke when buck was talking about bobby basically being his father and when he was basically dying!!! how dare he!!!! i’m not gonna go into how that’s a gross misinterpretation of the scene and just plain wrong because that’s a whole other rant.

it was a drastic change. there’s all these posts hating on him, on everything they’d liked about him before. having the most negative misinterpretations of things they’d literally praised about him saying/doing before. all but rewriting canon dialogue to create this narrative of how much characters, mostly eddie, feel towards tommy.

now i see so many of these people making and/or reblogging posts saying they can’t wait for buck to break up with tommy because he either somehow mistook his feelings for eddie with feelings for tommy because they’re baSicaLly tHe sAme pErSon, or that eddie and everyone else will be like we never liked him in the first place, or some other insane post about how they’d kill tommy or rant about how much they hate him for things they literally had no problem with before.

like i’m not saying you can’t change your mind about a character, but i just think it’s crazy how much people can start to hate someone they literally had no problem with after ONE comment.

and this is another thing partially related, but seeing how the tommy hate has gotten so out of hand, i see comments on twitter and tumblr and even on instagram posts from the cast hating on him that veer towards sounding just plain homophobic. like the killing tommy ‘jokes’ ??? you’re not funny. you sound homophobic. ‘but i’m not homophobic for not liking a character and making a joke!!’ okay so imagine literally anyone else who knew nothing about the show making a comment like you’re doing. it’s not a good look.

to me, it seems clear that to these people, tommy was just meant to be a placeholder. he was meant to only be there for buck to realise his bisexuality, and then buddie was meant to be canon and so tommy is in the way somehow. because people took bi buck being shut down back in season 4 to be proof that buddie was meant to have gone canon (which i’m not saying wasn’t the case, but it’s never been confirmed or really even hinted at.)

so now anything to do with tommy just makes people so mad, because he’s still here and buddie isn’t happening. so they’re purposefully having the most negative interpretation of anything to do with tommy to make themselves feel better.

hating on tommy makes it easier to deal with the fact buddie doesn’t seem to in the cards (at least rn). so people don’t have to really consider that it may never happen, so they don’t have to shift the blame onto the actors and writers and anyone else. so they can continue to read into any oliver and ryan interaction into meaning canon buddie, anything they say in interviews that doesn’t point towards canon buddie, to misinterpret anything they do say (including ryan continuously calling eddie heterosexual, that’s a big one) because they can’t give away anything yet, it has to be a surprise!!!

tldr: people are hating on tommy after 7x10, and it’s less to do with anything he said in that scene and more to do with the fact that he’s still on the show and buddie doesn’t seem to be going canon. and that hating on him makes it easier to deal with that fact.

[suzannahnatters]

Subplot Romance

Over the years I've created some twitter threads on writing and history and I've decided it's a good time to start compiling and sharing them on this Tumblr. I'm going to tag them "writing".

-

Here's what I've learned about writing subplot romance. (People who write genre romance probably already know this stuff. It's those of us who are mainly leavening romantic subplots into fantasy novels that need this info).

1. Romance = fundamentally character-driven. All internal conflict & internal growth. (Can these two trust each other? Will their character flaws drive them apart?) The more study you put into creating characters and building character arcs, the better your romantic writing.

A romance arc is not the SAME as a character arc, but it 100% NEEDS solid character work undergirding it.

2. Romance needs two ingredients: a compelling reason for the characters to be TOGETHER, & a compelling reason for them to be APART. This forms the conflict in the romance so do not skimp on either.

Eg, a common mistake in male-penned stories: female lead has no compelling reason to want male lead. "He's a good-looking warrior dedicated to winning her throne!" Yeah nah, she's literally surrounded by good-looking warriors dedicated to winning her throne, why's he different?

3. Romance needs chemistry = a believable spark of attraction. Something that blew my mind when I realised it: romantic chemistry =/= sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry (purely physical attraction) is simply PART of romantic chemistry.

Romantic chemistry is a good deal broader. (Read/watch some good romances to see how chemistry is built by different storytellers. One fave of mine is the Romola Garai EMMA. Peerless friends-to-lovers chemistry. Watch the actors' body language; the way they gravitate to each other; the way their faces light up)

Chemistry tip A: if the driver behind sexual chemistry is lust, the driver behind romantic chemistry is trust. Protag needs/wants someone to trust. It's the way you play with trust/distrust that will create romantic tension.

eg: love interest holds protag's hand. With sexual chemistry, protag simply feels a jolt at the contact. With romantic chemistry, protag feels comforted and trustful - then betrayed when it turns out LI is tracking her pulse to see if she's lying to him (see: MISS SHARP 😇)

Chemistry tip B: if protag is falling for someone, that person should occupy their mind. LI should be mentioned/thought of each scene, even when absent. When present: LI consistently provokes unaccustomed emotion - either positive or negative, depending.

Chemistry tip C: make the characters their best/most lovable/most iconic selves when with each other. Quirkiness, smarts, hilarity. Make these the most fun character scenes in the book & the audience will ship them. Passionately.

4. Build romantic chemistry/attraction through escalating moments of trust and tension. If aiming for happily-ever-after(HEA)/for-now(HFN), then the overall arc is towards greater trust, but you need those moments of tension to give the big payoff scenes appropriate catharsis.

OTOH, if you're writing a tragic/backstabby romance, you need the trust/comfort moments in order to sell the big tragedy/betrayal.

5. Trust, comfort, & happiness are POWERFUL. This is what genre romance thrives upon. Even in dark/spiky stories, the most surprising thing in the story can be the moment when the LI DOESN'T betray the protag. That too can be wildly cathartic. Use it.

6. Just as character-driven skills help you with romance, so if you master romantic writing, you'll be better able to write ALL types of relationship - platonic, friendly, hostile.

OK that's all so far. Two book recs: ROMANCING THE BEAT by Gwen Hayes & THE HEROINE'S JOURNEY by Gail Carriger teach you the rules/expectations of genre romance so you'll know what the rules are for a happy romance subplot & how to break them for a tragic version.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/06/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; New Events calendar; A Safe Space Ship Event; Watch Parties; Reminders; Cast & Crew Sightings; Clowning; OLD SPICE!; Stats!; Market Research?; Articles; Personal Update; Love Notes; Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika

== New Events Calendar from SaveOFMDCrew! ==

More events happening throughout the week! Tumblr Post

Tomorrow is Cosplay Day! Show off your cosplay and OFMD-Inspired outfits with the hashtags: #WearFineThingsWell!

= New Upcoming Event: A Safe Space Ship! =

Sunday, February 11th - Star of India in San Diego, CA! Museum Hrs: 10 am - 5 PM 1/2 Price Tickets!

== Watch Parties ==

Today's WWDITS watch party went great!

Lots of people had fun pointing out our lovely characters from the show (Mads, Taika, Rhys)

It actually went so well the SaveOFMDCrew twitter got banned! It's back though! If you can, please be sure to follow their backup account in case it happens again.

== Reminders! ==

Muppet Treasure Island - Feb 7th 2024 4PM EST, 1PM PST, 9 PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#MuppetPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== Cast & Crew Sightings ==

This was technically the 5th, but I don't think the excitement happened mostly today so I'm gonna throw it in! So Chaos Dad popped his head out yesterday just long enough to like Samba's BTS post on twitter and then also Samba and Rhys' little exchange.

And of course that triggered clowning since anytime Chaos Dad pops in we don our clown shoes. Thank you to @merryfinches for catching some of the discourse!

== Old Spice! ==

Well well well, we're back to polite menacing brands until they respond to us!

Looks like another Astroglide is starting up, the Crew is out there matching deodorants to characters. Thanks to @brainfugk for calling it out!

== Stats! Stats! Stats! ==

So close fam! Let's keep pushing that UK viewership if you have the time/spoons!

= Market Research Campaign about OFMD Potentially Going On? =

There's some speculation around the market research company YouGov potentially conducting research on OFMD. There's a big thread. Why is this important? Well this company works with streamers to measure viewership data, and if OFMD is in there...and someone's interested, that could be a good sign.

Some folks signed up, and if you're interested in doing so too, you can here.

== Articles ==

Some fun articles tonight, including Hard Drive again!

Joke Article: HBO Max Unveils Ominous New “Don’t Get Too Attached” Category

Our Flag Means Death and 9 Other Best TV Shows and Movies About Pirates

Our Flags Means Death fans get TV licence just to watch pirate show

== Personal Update ==

Some of you have heard, I got the COVID so I may be in and out over the next several days, I'm still trying to make sure I get to recaps though so don't worry! I'll let you know if I can't. Remember to mask up if you can and stay hydrated out there luvs!

== Love Notes ==

Alright lovelies. We've run out of Rhys videos for a few days so you're back to me being irritatingly loving at you! I saw this today on The Latest Kate's instagram and it reminded me of a few things I wanted to say. My brain is a bit covid-fogged so apologies if it's a bit wibbly wobbly.

We all struggle with so many little and big things in our lives. Whether it's mental health, self esteem, a physical ailment, love, lonliness, self-identity, family, friends, world conflicts, or anything, I could go on and on.

I know sometimes it feels like you are pushing so hard and you start making so much progress-- and then something, big or little stalls everything and you feel like you're having to start from scratch again.

I just want to send you a gentle reminder that progress isn't always linear. Just because you have lost momentum doesn't mean you've lost your progress. Every single situation is a learning opportunity and every time you run into a new hurdle, you learn from the last one.

You are wonderfully intelligent, kind, precious, complex people and no matter what you're dealing with, no matter how small or how big, you are moving forward and making headway bits at a time. Remember to be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for bad days.

We are so proud of you lovelies, remember that.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's gifs are courtesy of the glorious, brilliant, talented, ever-enabling @celluloidbroomcloset from her post over here.

Ok, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Goodnight all! <3

[zoros-fourth-sword]

LUFFY X FEM READER

{MDNI 18+ only}

This chapter is a 18+ chapter so it contains

fingering, dirty talk, hair pulling, name calling, and more—

1st Tumblr post

SUB FEM READER x DOM LUFFY

BEWARE MY WRITING SUCKS

"I can't freaking stand him sometimes I swear" I complain to Nami and Robin while we were tanning on the deck of the Sunny the little shit decided to piss me off by chasing me around the ship with a spider in his hand knowing damn well I’m scared of those creepy things

"That's luffy for ya he tends to get on people's nerves" Nami mumbled into her hands that were under her face as she lay on her stomach to tan her back

I hate him I hate Luffy so much ever since that skinny little shit walked into my life the man has done nothing but make me feel things that I have never felt before and I can’t help but hate him for that im not the type to let my emotions control my body or take over my brain for that matter but when I’m near luffy that’s a whole different story and it pissses me off it makes me feel weak and vulnerable

"And why do you exactly hate him" Robin asked interrupting my train of thought

"Can you blame me look at him" I sigh running my hands down my face referring to the boy that was across the Sunny running around with Chopper and Usopp

"Never mind this conversation 𝗬/𝗡 let's change the subject so you're not in a bitchy mood anymore" Nami mumbled into her hands

"Okay" I let out a dramatic sigh "but let me go change out of this bikini first I'm kinda hot the sun starting to get to me," I say to the girls getting up out of my chair to stretch

“I’ll be back” i say as I make my way towards my room

I finally make it to my room quickly throwing myself on my bed letting out a loud groan from the cold contact of the blanket touching my sweaty skin

"Hot huh" I hear someone from the corner of my room their voice sounding raspy

I quickly fling myself upwards nearly falling off my bed 

Before I could even scream I heard a familiar yet annoying laugh come out of the person

"I really scared ya huh" Luffy chuckled stepping into the light so I could see him

"What the fuck are you doing in my room Luffy" I snap out nearly turning red from anger

"I don't think that's any of your concern," Luffy said giving me a big smile

Is this boy stupid what makes him think it’s okay to hide in a girls room

"IT IS WHEN ITS MY ROOM LUFFY" I scream standing on my feet and throwing the pillow that was on the bed next to me at him but of course his show-off self had to catch the dang thing leaving me unsatisfied with the fact that I didn't get to hit his stupid face

"Use your brain for once you idiot" I growl out turning my head away so i didn’t have to stare at him any longer

"𝗬/𝗡" Luffy said chuckling out my name

"It is kinda my business when I'm the captain of this ship," Luffy said stepping closer to me our feet almost touching

How dare he use his title against me I swear I’m going to smother him with a pillow while he’s sleeping tonight I can’t believe I have to deal with his shit

"It's My space My room it's a place you go for privacy you know" I growl out ready to just walk out of the room

"Like you care about privacy you talk shit about your captain in front of him" Luffy growled out getting irritated with me referring to mine and the girls conversation on the deck earlier

I instantly freeze up hearing that sentence leave his mouth

"Mhm you didn't think I could hear ya," Luffy said stepping closer to me way to close for my comfort

I gasped out in surprise not expecting Luffy's face to be so close to mine

"I hear everything that leaves that dirty mouth of yours"  Luffy growled out grabbing a fist full of my hair and jerking my head back so my neck was exposed

I squeal out in surprise at Luffy's action I quickly bring my hands to his chest desperately pushing him away

What the fuck is wrong with him

"Why do you hate me 𝗬/𝗡" Luffy mumbled in my ear his lips dangerously close to my exposed neck causing my heart to burst in my chest

"Fuck you Luffy" I growl out punching him in the chest even tho he didn't take damage

Why dose this dude have to be so strong

"That's no way to speak to your captain 𝗬/𝗡" Luffy chuckled out slightly tightening his grip on my hair

I whine out from the pain quickly grabbing Luffy's hand behind my head desperately trying to get him to loosen his grip

"I know why you hate me" Luffy mumbled into my neck his hot breath fanning my skin causing my legs to fell like jello

"You wanna ride my dick baby don't ya" Luffy chucked out once again

A gasp left my lips once I heard that sentence leave his mouth I was in shock I wasn't expecting Luffy of all people to talk like this

"What w- do you mean" I stutter out in shock trying to hide the fact that he was right

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about  I hear you late at night pleasuring yourself while saying my name” Luffy chuckled out darkly

This can’t be real right I’m dreaming I have to be dreaming right now

"Do you want me to fuck that hatred out of you?" Luffy said grabbing my bare my waist with his free hand pulling me closer causing our chest to clash together

I gasp out struggling to breathe from the contact of his skin flushed against mine my brain slightly fogging over with lust letting the lewd thoughts take over

"You do want me to don't ya" Luffy chuckled as he began to leave soft wet kisses down my neck

"Luffy" I sigh out my brain losing control and my body taking over

I can’t do this with him his my captain for fuck sake

"Mhm keep saying my name baby" Luffy growled out pulling my hair tighter while his other hand squeezed my waist tighter

I feel like I'm going die he felt so good against me it felt like my body was going to melt away but my brain on the other was literally screaming at me not to let this happen

"Lu- Luffy we can't" I pant out trying to deny my feelings

"Yes we can baby I know you wanna," Luffy said slowly trailing his hand that was in my hair down my body and towards my ass before quickly grabbing a handful and pushing our hips together placing his thigh between my legs

"Fuck I wine out from the contact of his thigh pressed against my core

"See baby you want to," Luffy chuckled adding pressure to my core

Fuck it

"Yes I want to" I choke out finally giving up and accepting it even tho I know I’m going to hate myself for this later

"Good girl" Luffy laughed quickly picking me up and placing me on the bed so that he was above me between my legs

"I'm going to fuck you stupid," Luffy said in excitement with his signature smile plastered on his face

"Whatever you say" I huff out getting annoyed with his cocky attitude

"I don't really appreciate the attitude 𝗬/𝗡," Luffy said thrusting his hips against my own causing me to jerk upwards

I gently whine out rolling my eyes in the back of my head from how touch-deprived I am

"But one thing I do appreciate is how fucking sexy your tits look in this bikini" Luffy growled out thrusting his hips against mine causing my breast to jiggle from the movement

"God I'm going to fuck you so good," Luffy said as he began to trace wet kisses down my neck and between my breast getting lower as he went

"I can't wait to feel how nice and wet you are for me baby," Luffy said hocking his fingers in the waistband of my bathing suit bottoms quickly jerking them down my legs

"Luffy" I gasped out surprised by his action

"Shhh" Luffy said making me go quiet

"Look at you baby your pussy is so needy," Luffy said tracing his finger between my folds seeing how wet I already was for him

I wine out quickly grabbing Luffy's shoulders to have something to grip on

"You like that huh" Luffy chuckled out lowering himself between my legs

"Got something even better baby I'm going to eat you out like your my last meal and lucky for you I'm hungry," Luffy said before burying his face into my core

"Fuck Luffy" I sob out flinging my head back into the pillow

Did I die and go to heaven

His tongue was working wonders on my clit and It felt absolutely fucking amazing I was on cloud nine the way his rubbery tongue is thrusting in and out my hole was throwing me over the edge it felt like I was going to cum then and there

"Fuck Luffy your so good" I wine out taking a fist full of his black hair into my hand trapping him in his place

"Fuck baby you sound so pretty keep saying my name," Luffy said slightly pulling away to breathe

"You taste so damn yummy 𝗬/𝗡," Luffy said looking up at me with hooded eyes

He looked so fucking delicious and I hated to admit that but hes also doing a fantastic job so I really can’t complain

"Look at how wet you are" Luffy purred out slowly entering one of his long skinny fingers into my core

"Shit oh my gosh” I pant out from the feeling of his skin against my walls

"I could have you for every meal," Luffy said thrusting his finger inside me at a quick pace

This boy is literally going to be the death of me

"Me too Luffy oh my gosh I'll let you do anything" I moan out caught up in the heat of the moment

"Fuck baby if you keep talking like that I might have to make you choke on my dick" Luffy chuckled entering a second finger and speeding up his pace

"Luffy I can't breathe" I struggle between my moans from the overstimulation his causing my body

"That's the point 𝗬/𝗡 but I think you can take it get on your knees like a good girl"

I hope everyone enjoyed Im sorry if it's was bad but let me know if I should make a part 2

but anyway have a nice day/night♥︎

[miru667]

Hiii Miru!!! ♥︎

How is your day going?

Sorry if I’m bothering you, but I just wanted to ask you something that was in my mind for a while, what’s your opinion about the today’s Once-ler Fandom?

I mean, the new oncelings (like me) and all the new stuff that is here, you probably think that all of this is so different in comparison with how the fandom was back in 2012!

And also… do you miss something from the fandom? :p

Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?

Hiii suemooon! Today was yet another tiring work day =w= but my coworker gave me hot chocolate mix and marshmallows today as a christmas present so that was nice! I hope you're doing well too.

To compare today's onceler fandom vs 2012's onceler fandom...man I could talk forever about this haha! This is all just from my own point of view of course but I would say, yes a lot of things are different, but a lot of things are the same, too.

UHHMMM extremely long post so it's under a readmore LOL

For the differences, a lot of them are simply due to the way the internet has changed in 12 years. In 2012, most oncelings were in their early 20s, and if you were younger than 16 you were extremely rare and we would be like "WOAH?? THEY'RE 15?? I HAVE NEVER SEEN A 15 YEAR OLD ON SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE". But today's oncelings are like, mostly teens now, I feel? I think it's because of tiktok, which didn't exist internationally until 2018, and also because of parents giving ipads to their kids at the age of 2. But yeah, to compare today to 2012 is like comparing gen z to millennials, the content and jokes were different and, due to 2012 being in the past, what was socially acceptable was different, too.

Another thing that's different is the way young people act towards characters nowadays, but let me specify some more. I really dislike the term "content" when referring to someone's personal creations because it just sounds so corporate. And I don't know how to feel when I see some new oncelings treat an old popular askblog character as if they're public property produced by some big company, instead of as an OC that someone worked really hard on. For example, Truffula Flu Camp Entre and Thneedville High AU are like "established media" to a lot of people out there now, as if they're well-known series recognizable to the masses (no, they're not). And as a result, I've seen people headcanon whatever they want on other people's OCs and ship them however they want without even knowing if the mods are okay with those ships anymore (it's better to be real careful, if you want my advice..). I've also seen new oncelings give other people's OCs to public merch-selling sites without the mods' permission, and I've even seen new oncelings try to take inactive askblog OCs as their own. Why? :( Just make your own OCs. You can do it! Hold my hand.

New oncelings don't understand what they're stepping into when they look at our old content from over a decade ago. Our personal feelings and our private friendships from those times, whether good or bad, are precious to us and I guess it's just a new phenomenon that we have to deal with now, so I don't have the answers for this yet. But I would encourage everyone to also look at new and current OCs in the fandom - which many people do, and I love to see that!! I also love seeing people making friends with each other and having fun with each other, that's what reminds me of the better days of 2012.

Another difference is the...landscape? We have tumblr DMs now and we have discord communities so a lot of things are hidden now from public view. RPs used to be public on tumblr but now we rp on discord and only people in the server can read them, and there are pros and cons to that. Also the fandom isn't dominated by only a handful of askblogs anymore. Things are WAY more balanced and evenly distributed now compared to 2012, where Swag Once-ler was the king of the fandom with 200 asks sent to him every hour and 4000 followers accumulated in just 5 months. (And I'm not dissing on Swag, I loved Swag too. I'm just stating my observations. In fact I miss him a lot ;-;)

As for what's the same...xD The excitement and passion that a lot of new oncelings have! I find that so cute. People being creative is the same, people gushing over the onceler and fandom ocs is the same, even if internet slang has changed. People being ambitious with projects is the same, even if those projects are never finished (but this is just general human nature). And PEOPLE BEING SWEET TO EACH OTHER is the same! I was nervous during 2020 since a lot of "ironic" fans joined that year but I'm happy to have seen some genuinely sweet people around in more recent years, just like there were in 2012. 😊

I also see a lot of the same movie analysis discussions each year, which makes sense since new people keep entering the fandom, haha! "The lorax movie could've been better", "the 1972 film is better", "I wish they kept biggering", "they should've expanded the factory scenes and taken out the car chase scene", "i hate the onceler's mom", "the movie's point gets muddled because too many people think his mom's to blame", "i can't believe zac efron and taylor swift didn't sing in the movie", and on and on, those never change, and I've seen these same discussions so often that I support the antithesis of each topic now, just to be a rebel. 😇 But usually I don't engage in those anymore, I just think "haha aww! they're having fun :]" and leave them be! But like, it truly reminds me of the earlier days. It's me who has changed, in this case.

And finally, "do you miss something from the fandom? Something that you don’t see here anymore or not as much as it used to be?" I mentioned Swag already, I also miss a lot of other askblogs that belonged to my friends, and most of all I miss a lot of my friends who've drifted away, and I hope they're all doing well. I had a lot of good times with friends over the years. Some of them were rp partners and I miss our rps and I miss their characters dearly, I can't think about it too hard or else I might cry. What else...I want to say that I miss the crazy nightblogging events we used to have but I don't know if I could keep up with those anymore if they happened again haha. Same with askblogs answering asks live, almost no one does that now because people want so much to make every ask pretty with a new pretty artwork. But like, even if that comes back, again I don't know if I could keep up. So I suppose everything had its place!

Things will continue to shift and change, and you never know what the future holds so it's best to just keep going. I'm still making new friends and new good memories in the fandom each year, and I'm grateful for that.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for this ask and thanks (and sorry) to anyone who read through all of this!!

[nc-vb]

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐎𝐰𝐧 𝐄𝐱𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫

this is a repost from my old blog!

this was originally adapted for an original character story BUT I liked the idea so much that I didn’t want to have to wait to use it. so here it is, formatted for the big screen Tumblr.

pairing -> portgas d. ace x reader

notes -> gn!y/n is a Straw Hat & this is during the Alabasta Arc; includes some extra lore to sweeten the deal.

warnings -> mentions of a character death; use & mentions of alcohol; light, shameless flirting, maybe a lil suggestive at the end? 😏

wc -> 1.8k

“Take it,” he suddenly says, voice slurring. Lowering the glass from your lips, the liquor remaining untouched, you raise an eyebrow at him.

“T… Take what?” you ask, a laugh hanging off your words. “Your beer away from you?”

Ace’s own laughter is full of mirth, his grin spread across his flushed face. Your own cheeks warm, the joy on his face almost too much for you to contain your own.

“My name!” he corrects you. A moment passes that you don’t react, that your cup remains safely in your hands, its liquid contents settled. Ace doesn’t flinch, not even when your drink finally flies into the air above them, landing somewhere else on the ship– Zoro’s lap.

“Y-Your name?!” you repeat in a shout, over Zoro’s own screeching over him suddenly being soaked with booze while he’d been napping and Sanji’s telling him off for it.

“Yeah!” He leans into you, still smiling as he whispers, “Don’t you think “Portgas D. _______” has a nice ring to it?”

“A-Ace…” Your grip on your other hand tightens. “Do you think… maybe… you’ve drank too much tonight?”

“Uh-huh, definitely,” he says.

“Then–”“But I still thought about it when I was sober,” he interrupts, setting his mug down. “It’s, uh… a first for me. For this kind of thing. You know that.”

“I do know that,” you mumble to your lap, “but Ace, realistically? … we haven’t known each other for that long.”

“Whaddya mean? We’ve known each other for over two years.”

“We’ve known each other for eight days, and about each other for two years,” you correct him with a sigh. He hums, pondering. “Remember? I said “no” to joining Whitebeard and ended up stalking you through the newspapers to make sure you were still alive? Wrote some letters to you to reinforce all of that craziness?” He grins cheekily.

“Can’t forget it.” “Ace.” “Sorry.”

“… Ace…” He perks up, watching and waiting for you to speak again. “Why did you ask me this?” When he doesn’t immediately answer, you lift your hand onto his warm arm. “Why are you here in Alabasta?”

When he drops his own down to dwarf yours, you do your best not to react, the new expression on his face easily sending a message– that why he asked you what he did and why he’s here is not for a good reason.

“I don’t wanna tell you here.”

You look around the ship. “Then–” you hiccup, immediately inwardly cursing your poor timing “– how about over there?”

Having pointed to a quiet part of the ship, he notes its lack of occupation. It’d been a sound enough suggestion that Ace stands a moment later, dragging you up with him, across the ship and away from your crew. Nami, who’d been sitting only a few feet from your right, chuckles drunkenly, having heard their entire conversation.

“Ace,” you start, once they’d reached the suggested destination. “You’re beginning to worry me. What is it you have to say? Is everything alright?” With a final quick sweep over his shoulder, to make sure your crew were still nowhere nearby, he shakes his head. “Are you alright?”

“No,” he answers, his tone abrupt. You notice the catch in his voice, your lips meeting to form a frown as you reach up to hold his arm again. Beneath your fingers, you feel his body lean into your touch, and with you other hand, you reach up to cup the opposite side of his face, receiving the same response. He sighs.

“I’m here,” you promise him. “I’m listening. I’m here.”

“… it’s… about Thatch.” It’s slow, but… you’re feeling cold now.

You can remember the man in great detail, and quite fondly, as Whitebeard’s incredible chef aboard the Moby Dick. He’d made you a favourite of yours; one of Whitebeard’s many cards to play in his attempt to woo you into joining his family. A kind and jovial man– your eight day stay aboard their main ship was made enjoyable partially by this man. If not for your own dreams and desires, you might’ve stayed if it meant being this mans’ crewmate.

“W… What about Thatch,” you demand from him, your own voice rasped by your oncoming worries.

Ace takes a breath, his chin pointed above you as he releases it, your hand falling to rest on his chest.

“He’d found a Devil Fruit… one we’d been looking for, for a long time…” The expression on Ace’s face darkens, something you thought to be near impossible considering how shadowed it’d become. “And Teach killed him for it.”

Your soft inhale makes Ace grit his teeth. He knew how much you enjoyed Thatch’s company; you’d said so in your letters to him once. He hadn’t wanted to tell you about it in the first place but concluded that keeping it from you might be worse.

“T… Teach did that?” you say, your voice hoarse. Your trembling fingers pull away from Ace to cover your own mouth, trying to dull the sob that suddenly escapes you. Not quite knowing what to say in comfort, with their not being anything much to be able to offer regarding the news, and always having been a man of action, he slings his arm around your neck, his forehead pressed into yours.

“I’m trying to find him,” Ace murmurs, his hold on you suddenly tightening. You set your hands against his chest to brace yourself from falling. “Trying to make him pay.”

“All alone?” you realize, your heart squeezing within your chest. Gently, you push away from him. “I… I’ll go with you!”

Ace shakes his head in response, though he still grins for the sentiment. “Nah,” he says. “This is our problem, _______. Pops gave me permission to find him – I don’t think he’d be so happy hearing you were going to join me when he didn’t want me to go at first, either. And besides, Luffy needs you with him. You’re his crewmate.”

“I know that,” you say, not a beat after Ace finishes speaking. “But I think he would understand if–”

“Your friends need you, _______,” he interrupts. “If it wasn’t this way, I… No, not even then. The Devil Fruit Teach took and probably ate is dangerous. You’re not a fighter yet– I wouldn’t risk your life just to keep me company.” 

“Company isn’t all I’d be there for, Ace,” you tell him. “Thatch was a good man, and a friend. It would be my own revenge.”

“And I get how you feel, but…”

“… I do, too. This is something that you have to do on your own, right?” He nods. You smile, a reward for his candor. “Thank you… for at least telling me. I won’t have to worry too much about what you’re off doing, then.”

“I won’t stop you if you wanna,” he’s suddenly mumbling, catching you off-guard. It goes unseen through the dark, but Ace’s cheeks burn bright the moment he registers his own words. “I-I mean–!”

“I… would do it without you asking,” you mumble back, your voice low from your own embarrassment and cheeks flaming away. “L-Like I always have.”

“G-Geez…” Ace swipes a hand down his overheating face, fighting a grin that bubbles up to expose him, anyway, and you laugh lightly at his failed attempt.

“Ace,” you whisper. A chill sweeps through him as his name leaves your mouth. “I’m so happy to have been able to meet you again.”

“Aceeeeeee!! _______________!! Where’d you go?!?”

The two of you laugh together, shaking your heads. “Luffy,” you chorus.

“I guess we have been away from the party for a while, huh?” you realize.

“Just a little,” Ace agrees. As you both end up going to exit through the doorway at the same time, they connect with each other, Ace’s bare chest meeting yours. “Oh, sorry,” he says.

“Don’t…” You huff at him when he chuckles nervously. Before you can stop yourself, your hands rise once more to take either side of his face in them, the man freezing in response– “don’t apologize, Ace” – and his lips parting when you rise onto the tips of your shoes to press a chaste kiss into the corner of his mouth. You lower back down, hiding your hands behind your back. “Just, um… I won’t tell Luffy about this. I feel like it’s something you should tell him, anyway, and at a time that we’re not busy with a potential war. I’m sure he’d want to help you out with it if you did now, anyway.”

“Th-That’s a good point,” Ace says sharply, his voice having risen an octave. You giggle.

“Ace! ______?!”

“Okay, now we should actually go this time,” you say. He gestures at the door.

“After you.”

“Thank you, then,” you say, nodding to him. You step out first, throwing a smile over your shoulder at him at the same time he’d reached out to grab your wrist to pull you back into him. “A-Ace?!”

“… y… you can’t just leave after giving someone a kiss like that one,” Ace says, his heated breath fanning across your cheek. “I might think you’re kiddin’ around.”

“I-I’ve never been much of a comic about this kind of thing,” you tell him, recovering, “but when it comes to you… I’ll never joke about my feelings.”

“_________…” You chuckle at him again. “What’s so funny?”

“I just – I’ve never thought I’d fall in love with a pirate,” you say, your tone much too blunt to consider you to be teasing him, a deep red creeping up into Ace’s face, ears, and neck as a result.

“You’re a pirate, too, y’know,” he mumbles, rubbing at his nose. Ace groans, finding himself unable to catch a break when you reach up for him, arms draped over his shoulders when you move into him.

“Yes. Isn’t it wonderful?”

Thudding footsteps sound against the deck, gone unheard by the pair of you thanks to the roaring silence shared beneath the threshold, startle you at the last second. Luffy sweeps around the corner, head whipping back around when he finally notices the pair half in the shadows of the Going Merry.

“Eh? What’re you guys doin’ over here?” You tear your hands off each other, smiling at the young captain innocently.

“Just talking, Lu,” you say. “I-It got a little loud at the party.”

“It looked like you guys were dancing to me, but c’mon! Sanji made cake!”

“We’ll be right over, Luffy,” Ace promises, and not needing another word, he takes off back to the center of the ship. “Maybe we can, uh… dance again later?”

© nc-vb 2023 please don’t repost! reblogs & comments are always appreciated.

[lemotmo]

Hello lovely, I am the anon blog and I am so sorry! I feel your pain because life in the trenches sucks. I don't allow my stuff to be posted to Twitter either, that place is a dumpster fire of vileness. I never know what people are sending to you but I have posted a message on my blog asking everyone to take a break for a bit. I'm not sure how this became a big deal in the first place, lol, but it can be very overwhelming and is very much why I go out of my way these days to be harder to find. My ask box is a lot. I do check in on your blog from time to time and will be happy to tell people to stop sharing with you at any time. I think we're close to the end though so hopefully peace will be restored relatively soon to both our blogs. I am so sorry for any trouble, that any of my followers might have caused. You seem so lovely and I don't want to be a party to anything that is troubling or upsetting. I hope your break is peaceful 💗

Hi dear! I'm so happy to hear from you.

I have thought so much about you today. I cannot even imagine what your inbox must look like. I so sympathise.

I very much agree on the Twitter thing. I lurk there once in a while, but never participate. It's a scary place.

As you probably already read on my blog, the lovely anons that send me your messages have reached out to me asking if I wanted them to stop sending them. I told them to keep on sending them, but that I wouldn't be posting them yet. I'm just going to be laying low for a couple of days, before I resume posting them. I refuse to back down because of some bullies. I have been in fandom for too long at this point. I'm too old to be pushed into a corner. xD

Listen, the reason why your posts have become such a big thing is because Tumblr has always been a fairly quiet and peaceful place to ship Buddie. Then episode 7x04 came along and brought utter chaos. Most of us had no idea what was going on. We were flabbergasted. I just remember thinking: 'Yes, Buck is bi now. It's obvious this Tommy guy isn't going to last, so maybe we'll finally get buddie. Everyone will be happy about that.' Anyway, you know what happened next. LOL

We were all over the place during that first hiatus and 7b, never sure what to expect from the whole BT relationship or the obvious Buddie they were still pushing on the show. We needed some stability and common sense back in this fandom and your posts have partly brought that back. I have so many people in my asks talking about your posts in a constructive, meaningful and sensible way. That is exactly what this fandom needs. It doesn't need negativity and spewing hatred and slurs, but it needs logical thinking and the deconstruction of patterns. Next to that you also give us a great insight into the inner workings of fandom. I find it all utterly fascinating.

Thank you for checking in on my blog once in a while. That's really sweet. If it ever comes to a point where I need a break from posting all together, I'll make sure to let you know. But I really don't think I'll ever get to that point, because I too have a feeling that the end of all of this is near.

And don't worry. Don't feel bad about any trouble you or your followers might have caused. I made the choice to post these asks in the first place. I could have backed down at any point, but I didn't. So, no one to blame here. Don't worry.

Have a great week! Feel free to check in once in a while. Oh, when all this is over and done with, don't hesitate to jump into my DMs. I'd love to say 'hi' to the real you one day. I have a feeling we could have some interesting conversations. ;)

❤️❤️❤️

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 16 | Two Person Love Triangle

Secret Admirer | NannaT (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,627 Main Tags/Warnings: Valentine's Day, Fluff and angst, Secret admirer Summary: Cas has a secret admirer and it's driving Dean nuts

An Angel's Tale | @seidenapfel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 30,175 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fanfic Writer Castiel, Fanartist Dean Winchester, Two Person Love Triangle, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, President Castiel (Supernatural), Custodian Dean Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Hunter Dean Winchester, Canon Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Fix-It, Angel Wings, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Alcohol, Dean Winchester Has Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mutual Pining, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Summary: After being Dean’s roommate for over a decade, Castiel can’t go on like this anymore. He leaves their shared home and flees to Europe for a year, no longer able to deal with his feelings for his best friend in such close proximity. Left behind heartbroken and grieving, Dean distracts himself with Charlie’s favorite fantasy book series. Intrigued by the tale of an angel and a hunter, Dean stumbles into the realms of fandom and fanfic. For the first time since high school, he picks up his drawing utensils, and, not before long, signs up for a fandom big bang. Dean is thrilled to be paired with his favorite author. Chatting reveals that Dean isn’t the only one who is head over heels in love with his best friend. In jest, they make a deal: They confess their feelings to their friends, and if that doesn’t work out, they’ll try their luck with each other.

Go Down With This Ship | @porcupine-girl

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 31,354 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings, Epistolary, Online Friendship, Online Romance, Tumblr, Characters Writing Fanfiction, Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Two Person Love Triangle, Identity Reveal, Librarian Dean, Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Light Bondage, Rimming, top cas/bottom dean (fun fact: This was the first fic on ao3 to use the two person love triangle tag! I found the term on TV Tropes.) Summary: Since he has to stay deep in the closet to protect his job as a children’s librarian in conservative Wichita, Kansas, Dean’s main outlet for sexual frustration is writing and reading slash fiction for his favorite show, Devil Boys. When he starts corresponding with AngelofThursday, another male slash writer in his ship, he really is just looking for friendship… but when it seems like more might be on the table, he’s not going to turn it down. If only he didn’t also have a crush on Cas, the hot volunteer at his library branch…

Salt & Iron | @abi-cosmos

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 36,221 Main Tags/Warnings: Human Castiel, Online relationship, Two person love triangle, Mutual pining, Depression, Drinking to cope, Love Confessions, Dom/sub undertones, Dean Winchester wears panties, Canon divergence, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Dean is lonely since Castiel became human. It’s been six months of throwing himself into cases, pining around the bunker, and radio silence ever since they parted ways. Charlie takes matters into her own hands, signing him up for a hunter’s networking website where he meets new hunter Steven. They start a friendship, Dean enjoys his online companionship and Steven seems to understand what he needs without ever having met him. When things heat up between the screens, Castiel is brought back into his life, and Dean soons finds himself face-to-face with secrets and sin.

Love, Dean | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 48,050 Main Tags/Warnings: Gay Dean Winchester, Closeted Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel, Closeted Castiel, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Kid Fic, Top/Bottom Versatile Castiel/Dean Winchester, Threesome - M/M/M Summary: Dean has a job he’s good at, and people he loves. Really, he’s got most things a man in his thirties could wish for. He also has a huge secret: he’s gay. The only one who knows is his best friend Charlie. Dean is content to keep it that way, until he strikes up an anonymous email friendship with a colleague who’s also closeted and struggling to come out. As Dean’s feelings for his new friend grow, he begins to wonder if it might be time to let himself be seen.

Dear Western Red Cedar #2409 | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 63,433 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, forest ranger/author!Dean, librarian!Cas, idiots to lovers Summary: For a decade, Dean had been living his dream life in Montana as a national park ranger. When Sam and Eileen followed him there a few years later, he had no idea how to tell them about his side gig as the author of a wildly popular series of novels loosely based on his own experiences. Well, minus the monster hunting. He never expected them to become bestsellers—or potentially a tv series, if his agent could only convince him to out his real identity. While Dean's also writing his latest bestseller on a deadline, a misunderstanding and his own social ineptitude leave him completely cut off, aside from his new pen pal who Dean only knows as Bluebird. Cas had spent the last two years desperate to hold Dean’s attention. Right when he felt they might be getting somewhere, Dean was called away on an emergency. Of course he had to go and lament about his troubles to a random tree, thanks to a distracting plaque inviting the public to participate in a new town project. To his surprise, he seems to hit it off— completely anonymously of course— with Western Red Cedar #2409.

American Rebels | @valandrawrites

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 78,973 Main Tags/Warnings: Professor Dean Winchester, Graduate Student Castiel, Goth Castiel, Tattooed Castiel, Pierced Castiel, 2 person love triangle, Identity Reveal, Idiots in Love, Anonymous Sex, Bathroom Sex, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Castiel and Jimmy Novak are Twins, Dean Winchester Has a Sexuality Crisis, Eventual Happy Ending, Dean/Cas Switch Bang 2022 Summary: Graduate student Castiel Novak shows up excited for his American Lit course titled *American Rebels* taught by the Dean himself! But the man who arrives is none other than Cas’ anonymous bathroom hookup from the summer. Professor Winchester cannot figure out why the hot, weird, tattooed, and pierced guy who fucked him within an inch of his life in the Roadhouse bathroom is in his favorite class. And why does he insist on using his full name every time he addresses him? Maybe Charlie can help… **This is based on a real story involving me and a Professor named Dean Flowers. He was not, as I later learned, actually the Dean. For the record, I did not have sex with Dean Flowers.

kept on climbing til our stars collided | @whaddyameanno

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 84,801 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Two Person Love Triangle, Alcohol usage, Recreational Drug Usage, mentions of medical procedures, Anesthesia mention, Panic Attacks Summary: Dean is a Youtuber. Castiel is a college student who gets introduced to his channel. Both Dean and Castiel also have unknowingly been talking to each other on their secret stan accounts for Dr. Sexy.

[outrunningthedark]

This is something that's been on my mind for days now and I still don't understand it. On tumblr and the discord server I'm in Helena's remark 'We'll replace it' was seen as something insidious and I don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm asian and the language and culture barrier was making me not understand it. But I didn't see anything bad about it. I just thought she didn't want to inconvenience Eddie and make Christopher stay longer at a place he's not comfortable at. I thought Christopher was ready to leave and making him stay longer at a place where he's not happy, just to look for something easily replaceable, is not good for him. I just saw Helena and Ramon thinking of Christopher as their responsibility and their thought process was that they'll provide everything for him so that no one is inconvenienced.

It's sad how people are just LOOKING for things to be mad about with this show and yet can't bring themselves to give it up because of...an actor? a ship? This is where that "self-insert" thing our fandom does very obviously comes into play, IMO. If these fans were the writers, they wouldn't have phrased it like that. If these fans were in Eddie's place, they'd be offended that their parents were trying to "take control". If these fans were in Christopher's place, they'd be upset that their grandparents think items can "just be replaced like it's no big deal".

Well, guess what! We're not the writers! And nobody was bothered! There WOULD be a discussion to be had about Helena's behavior had she immediately jumped to "we'll replace it". But she didn't. "Whatever he forgot, you can send it to us. Or we'll replace it." doesn't mean "Chris doesn't need the stuff from this house because we can give it to him ourselves." If Chris wants the exact thing he (hypothetically) left in his room? Eddie will get a call or a text asking to have it mailed to Texas. If Chris wants something, but doesn't really care about having it mailed? He just wants the thing replaced for the coming months, for the current home he's living in? Then they will replace it. And he'll still have the original item there when he goes home, too!

You know why Helena is hated so much? Because she's the most "real" mom on the show. She loves her kids, but in her mind, loving her kids means trying to make decisions for them and/or adding her opinions when nobody asked. That's a much easier character to relate to than a mom of a child with cerebral palsy or a mom who never recovered from burying her eight year old son. (And it shows in the way fandom reacts to all three women. People just don't pay close enough attention.)

[ficthots]

Bonded: Chapter Four

A/N: Chapter four is here! I know I’m blowing through this story fast, but I have such big inspiration for it! I’m gonna say this now, get used to the shorter chapters because this is the last one. The remainder will be very heavy reading. Posted on both AO3 and Tumblr. As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Word Count: 3.2k+

Three months. That’s how long it had been since that evening. The evening where everything shifted from one sentence muttered by the Supreme Leader. It was like a switch had flipped. Entirely night and day to how it was prior. 

Everytime you passed any Order official, regardless of rank, you were bowed to. When spoken to, your title was used in all seriousness. Kylo acknowledged you as you passed one another in the halls. 

A subtle tilt of his helmet down in your direction. To most, they wouldn’t think twice of it. Honestly, it didn’t look like he was doing it at all. But to you, you noticed it immediately. 

The first time he did it, it was so quick you thought you imagined it. When it happened again the next day, you were shocked to spot him two days in a row. Thus following nearly every single day. Like he was making a point to enter your wing of the ship to have some form of interaction.

It made no sense to you. 

Yet, you were in no position to shun him away. Especially after the success of your mission that spurred this all on anyways. You had returned some weeks ago, having spent longer than you thought you would. 

It turned out to be a misunderstanding amongst their ranks. Taking far longer than anticipated to track it down and put an end to it. When you were able to crack the case, it was handled immediately and you were able to return to the Supremacy. 

Some lower ranked officials were trying to dethrone their current leader. An act of treason of course, so once the leader of them was ousted from his own group by way of a plea deal, he was carted off to jail. It made galactic news. 

Upon your return, the success spread quickly. Somehow the news already reached the ship before your descent into the hangar. Knowing it had something to do with Kylo because the second your booted foot stepped onto the ground, all stopped working around you, offering you a single bow, and a greeting. 

“Welcome back, Empress.” 

Turning and facing Tamsyn, a confused look etched on your face, she shrugged, just as clueless as yourself. Your ladies were excited to greet you in your residence, Layana and Calista explaining the shift to you both.

As soon as the news headline was published, it immediately hit the Supremacy. Kylo called an impromptu committee meeting and explained what this meant for them all. You were now to be addressed as such, treated like the highest official you were, and there was to be no question about it.

You laid in your bed that night, staring at the ceiling, not sure what to do with this new information. It was what you had wanted. To be taken seriously by your husband. This mission was your chance to do it. You did. Yet there was still a small voice in the back of your head saying tread lightly, remember what he said.

How your title held no true weight. That it meant nothing. Did he mean that though? Given how you were being spoken to, it didn’t seem that way. But you knew better than to let your guard down so soon. A test of somesort, is what you were assuming this was. 

Now what?

Continue on with life and your set responsibilities. Plan another massive open house. Accept that your mother has requested to come and join you on the Supremacy for a few days. That was what your days consisted of currently. 

It was hard to not let your mind wander. Thinking about the person who was really behind that mask. When he addressed you directly, your mind played back what his voice sounded like without the modulator. How smooth and soft, but deep and stern he was. 

Yes, your conversations were still kurt and short, but they were more bearable having a face to place to the individual standing so domineeringly in front of you. His mask did wonders to hide his wandering eyes that couldn’t help but to dart all over your features as you spoke to him. 

Kylo didn’t plan to unmask himself to you that night. Honestly, not sure why he had opted to. He knew why, but he wasn’t done fighting it. Therefore, he refused to admit anything. Even though he had watched as your eyes had softened remarkably the instant your gaze met his. 

Expecting you to turn your nose up in disgust at who he was, it was the entire opposite. You had grown less rigid in his presence ever since then. More welcome to accept interaction with him even if it was short. When word had made its way to him that your mother was going to be aboard the ship in just a few short hours, he made a decision that his Knights did not know what to do with.

Even a formal introduction had been made between you and his Knights. One afternoon as you walked with General Waylan, Kylo and his Knights were departing from their designated training facility. 

Waylan took it upon himself to introduce each one individually to you. They all dressed like their leader, but in wildly varying design and style. None uttered a single word other than a polite bow and your title. 

Kylo bowed his head to you deeper than he ever had before in that moment. Even Waylan was shocked at the gesture offered. He led his Knights off just moments after, leaving you two standing there in awe.

The shift was unexpected and as he continued to become more…friendly towards you, all it did was confuse you further. 

You had been running around your dwelling all day long, trying to make it as perfect as possible for your mother. Excited didn’t even begin to cover how you felt about her coming to visit. Your home sickness went away slowly as time ticked on, but you still felt a small hole in your soul about having left your home and everything you knew.

Of course, you knew it was for the best, but it still didn’t hurt any less. When the blaster doors to your residence opened and there stood your regal mother, manners be damned. You hurled yourself from your sofa, throwing yourself into her embrace. 

She laughed, hugging you tightly, even though it was against protocol, she was happy to have such a warm welcome. You two spent the entire day touring around your residence and you showed her everything you could possibly think of on the ship.

As you two went to sit for dinner, waiting in your drawing room for the signal, your smile was large and not dwindling in the least. Grabbing your goblet, you brought it to your lips, tasting one of the delicacies from one of your travels. It was odd, even though the physical appearance of your home had hardly been updated with your mother’s arrival, somehow everything seemed so much brighter.

A natural glow that follows her wherever she wanders, even out into desolate space aboard the darkest ship you had ever laid eyes on before, your home no different. Perhaps it is why you were in the best mood you had been in since your arrival here. 

Glimpses of home and your life before, now seeming like an entire different life to the one you were absorbed in now. “How’s father?” You asked as you sat upright in your seat, the first opportunity to speak freely since she had touched down. 

Relaxing into her plush seat, she smiled. “Proud. Truly ,dove, your name has been circling the galaxy and he is bursting with pride as am I. You’ve only been here such a short time and have already done more than anyone thought would be possible.” Feeling your cheeks and neck heat at her showered praise, it dawned on you in that moment.

The work you had been doing for months and months was actually making a difference. Actually doing something to make the galaxy a better and safer place. Maybe that was where the shift had come from in Kylo. He knew you weren’t dillydallying around and truly working. 

“Thank you, mother. It’s very kind of you to say.” She sighed, still grinning before her eyes narrowed slightly. “How are you and the Supreme Leader? I presume he will be joining us for dinner, no?” Your tongue poked into your cheek.

Trying to best word your response without upsetting her, your eyes stared at your hands. “No, he will not. The Supreme Leader and myself are not on exactly cordial terms with each other. It’s gotten slightly better, but nothing more really.” 

Her shocked expression was exactly what you were expecting. “He has not attended anything with you?” Shaking your head, a deep sigh resonated from you. “No. It is not in his interests. According to him this is my responsibility hence why I am here at all. He wants it taken care of, so I do it.” 

Her sad face made your heart squeeze in your chest. Despite thinking you had come to terms with the status of your relationship with Kylo, actually talking about it still set a scar deep inside that was only beginning to scab. 

Warmth engulfed around your hand, seeing hers clasping yours.“Give it time, dove.” Offering a sad smile, you tried to shake off what had just happened. “Yes, well not everyone is as lucky as you and father.” 

Snorting at your statement, she released your hand. “Oh, dove, your father and I were not keen on one another when we first started either.” Before you could respond to her statement, the sound of your residence blast doors opening drew your attention.

Excusing yourself from the room, you made your way towards your living space, nearly collapsing as you saw who stood there. “Su-supreme Leader,” you greeted, a deep bow following. His helmet was removed, gloves as well, no cowl in sight. 

Your mouth went dry as his stone face turned towards you. “Empress.” His smooth voice escaped into the air. Plush lips pursing in your direction as his eyes settled on your figure. Shaking your head, you smiled as kindly as you could. Terrified you had done something wrong hence his unplanned visit. Were you about to be reprimanded in front of your mother? 

“I heard your mother is visiting.” Nodding, you pointed back in the direction you had just come from. “Correct. She is in the drawing room. Dinner will be served any moment.” You spoke, the longest he had ever kept his eyes on you before. It took every ounce of energy you had not to squirm under his intense gaze.

Only moments later did Layana appear from the kitchen. “Dinner is ready, Empress. Oh-Supreme Leader,” she quickly bowed, taken aback by him being here. Your lips parted, unsure what to do, but deciding instantly.

“Will you join us, Kylo?” The softness of your tone, the happy expression, it wasn’t what he expected. Only nodding, jet black locks slightly swaying with the movement. “Layana, please set a place for the Supreme Leader. Also, inform mother to meet at the dining room.”

As she scurried away, you turned back towards your husband. Not knowing what to say, in all honesty, how does one even ask the most powerful man in the universe to follow them. Deciding to just turn and begin walking, he followed, close on your heels the entire time.

Almost close enough to feel the heat emanating from his chest. His dwarfing presence felt now more than ever as you silently made your way to the dining room. Without any question or hesitancy, he sat at the head seat. 

Choosing to stick to what you had known in committee meetings, you took the seat to his left. It was only a breath later when your mother entered the room, bowing to the man to your right. “Supreme Leader Ren, how good it is to see you.” 

Not breaking a smile, not a hint of emotion to be seen on his striking features, he spoke. “Word had made its way to me that you were here to see the Empress, Queen Gaia. I thought I would join you for dinner this evening. If that is not a problem, of course. Is it, Empress?”

Feeling like a gaping fish out of water, you snapped back as quickly as you possibly could. “No, no of course not. We are delighted to have you sitting with us, Supreme Leader.” With your mother smiling brightly, you placed the linen napkin across your lap, sitting in total silence as you all prepared yourself for whatever tonight would entail. 

Your mother brought the goblet to her lips, seeing the dark liquid sitting in it, she narrowed her eyes in your direction. “What drink is this, dove?” Freezing at the casual nickname that flowed so abruptly from your mother, you were relieved as he observed his own goblet, smelling it before responding himself. 

“A bloodsour.” Eyebrows raising in his direction, you nodded. “Yes, bloodsour. On one of my recent trips the king was kind enough to gift me a bottle. It’s a drink with ancient ties. Quite a delicacy really. I thought it was suitable for tonight.” He sipped the contents, worried to see what his reaction would be.

Known to be a more potent beverage choice, you chuckled as your mom coughed at the strength of the drink. Kylo on the other hand didn’t bat an eye as the burning contents trickled down his throat. 

“It’s-it’s quite good,” your mother said through her laughter, wiping at the stray tears from her eyes. You were fairly certain the laugh that escaped you was the first one you had ever loosed in front of the Supreme Leader. 

Rooting you to your seat, his milky voice wafted through the air seconds after your meal was plated in front of you. “The Empress has been doing fine work here since her arrival.” Trembling hand grasping your utensil, you didn’t know how to react. 

The first compliment he had ever said of you in your presence. Was it a compliment? Sarcasm? Teasing you in front of your own mother? Your mother’s level headed tone carried after the first bite. 

“As I have heard. The mission is truly taking off around the galaxy and I know we on Bar’leth are eternally grateful we had such a hand in it.” Shooting you a small wink, Kylo’s gaze remained fixed to his plate. 

You were sitting in total silence, afraid to speak and say the wrong thing. Instead, you raised your goblet to your lips and took heavy gulps of the scalding liquid. Fighting through the burn, you finished your glass in the one swig. 

Who else but your mother to break the tension once more. “Supreme Leader, it is my understanding that the Empress is planning another soiree in the coming weeks. Can we expect you to attend this one?” Eyes watching him as she raised the meat to her mouth. 

Speaking before he could, you shook your head. “No, the Supreme Leader is never expected in attendance at such events.” All appetite gone, you only pushed the food around on your plate, trying to make it look like you were at least nibbling on what was there, all you could hear was the scrape of utensils along the plates. 

“Your home here is so lonely, dove. Are you in the west wing, Supreme Leader?” Again, you spoke up before he could. His jaw tensed, either from the bite he just had or irritation, he shook his head. “He resides further in the ship. Closer to the hangar and his training facility. He must be ready at a moment's notice. I reside here alone.”  

Eyes catching hers, the surprising news was hard for her to mask. A shaky sigh left your lips, feeling incredibly uncomfortable in this scenario. It was the longest you had ever been in the presence of him before. 

Not being allowed to delve into thought for a moment longer, your fork clattered to the plate. The head pain was back. Your hand immediately went to your forehead, trying to stop the splitting it felt like your brain was undergoing that exact moment. 

“Goodness! Dear, are you alright?” Your mother’s worried tone spoke out. Kylo’s eyes were trained to you, speaking monotonously after. The head pain dissipated as quickly as it had come on. “Perhaps you should rest, Empress.” 

Your mother quickly agreed, you rose from your chair on shaky legs, beginning to head towards your personal chamber. Tamsyn and Calista there to assist in getting you to your room. Formal goodnights echoed out as the Supreme Leader disembarked hastily. 

With your mother now in her own section of your residence, Tamsyn had aided in getting you to bed, you laid there and replayed the night's events over in your head. Why had he just shown up? Acting like he cared that your mother was visiting.

Putting on a front of course, surprised to hear the questions that were intimate of your lives. Not expecting it at all. However, you were pleased with how you played it off. Actually, you were slightly grateful for the head pain tonight. 

“Why in the stars would he arrive tonight?” Tam muttered under her breath, putting your hair into the night time style. “I haven’t the faintest clue. He just sat there…brooding. He’s an odd man, but I think he might have complimented me tonight.” 

She stopped fixing your hair, eyes locking in the mirror. “Complimented you? How?” As you explained, she agreed that it did in fact sound like a compliment. From any other being in the galaxy. From the Supreme Leader? Unlikely. 

Still feeling the buzzing effects of your drink from dinner and having consumed no real food, your eyes grew heavy, but you sat up straight in bed. Echoing in your head was the sound of somewhere else. Not in your head. Not your own thoughts. 

Feeling as though someone was there watching you. Feeling eyes on your tired figure. Muffling a frightened shout when you saw his figure standing in the corner of your room, your eyes nearly bugged out of your head.

Standing there silently, he watched you. Eyes never leaving you even for a moment. Despite him barging into your room this way, he did not speak at all. “Ky-kylo, what are you doing here?” His mouth set, your eyes still trained on the unmoving figure. 

“Goodnight, dove.” The response echoed in your head, him disappearing only a millisecond after. Laying back in your bed, your eyes stared straight at the ceiling. Kylo Ren had entered your room without you knowing, spoke into your head, and then disappeared into thin air.

What the hell was in that drink? 

[goodluckdetective]

FIC: FIVE HOURS (Tumblr Edition)

Ship: Durge/Astarion but this is a fic about Astarion

Fandom: BG3

Warnings: Astarion backstory is referenced in passing

Rating: PG-13

AO3

Summary: 

Being controlled by one’s dark urge is hard, but watching someone you care for lose themselves might be harder. Or Astarion and five hours spent watching over someone he can no longer recognize. (How do you keep hating yourself as a monster when you've started to fall for one?)

Notes:

Hello, I took one look at vampire man and Durge and went “ah yes, the drama of falling in love with someone who sees themselves as a monster.” This fic does have a custom dark urge/durge because I don’t think it hits as hard otherwise, but it’s very much a fic about Astarion. Rune in this piece is me holding up a mirror and going “if you’re gonna to see the humanity in this person, then why do you refuse to do it for yourself” while Astarion hisses like a cat. Sorry bud, get perceived. All you need to know about Rune is that they’re a NB human wild magic sorcerer (they/them) A big thanks to @dykezambo and Rose for being my beta readers. I salute you.

Fic is below the cut

HOUR ONE:

Astarion thinks it might still be some sort of sick prank until Rune Tavernus’ eyes roll up into the back of their head and they collapse to the ground in a heap.

A prank would make more sense than this, Astarion thinks, as he scrambles onto his feet and towards the unconscious sorcerer. Rune wasn’t much of a prankster, but they did have some wit and a streak of dark humor to match. What the point would be of a prank like this was beyond Astarion, but in his head he can manufacture a bizarre scenario where Rune thinks it would be funny to give Astarion a taste of his own medicine with a sinister wake-up call. And yes, the whole explanation of “killing the one they cared most for” didn't fit the prank theory, Rune wouldn’t play with his feelings so brazenly, but when one's occasional bedmate starts rambling about being forced to kill you, a cruel trick tends to be a kinder explanation. 

And then Rune passed out and that idea had gone out the metaphorical window.

“Shit,” Astarion says, pressing his palm to their forehead. Rune runs warm to Astarion, almost everyone does, but they feel clammy to the touch. Their short white hair is almost damp with sweat and sticks to their forehead. He shakes them, once, then twice, calling their name with increasing volume, but they don’t stir. That in itself is alarming; Rune is not a deep sleeper. In fact, they’re known for sleeping poorly, waking up from unremembered dreams with a choked-off scream. Every morning they chug whatever caffeinated beverage Halsin brews as soon as it’s cool enough not to burn their tongue. 

Rune doesn’t rouse even after a minute of shaking. Astarion considers waking Shadowheart, but the whole business with Alfira gives him enough pause to instead first go for the rope in his pack. Rune had been back to normal by morning when she was slain; if this is similar, then Astarion would just have to wait until dawn for a full explanation. With a great deal of effort on his part, he drags Rune to an open bedroll closest to the fire and binds their arms together as well as their legs, feeling somewhat like out of body. 

(He tries hard to not think of a pig prepared for slaughter. He tries harder to not think about how Cazador might have tied up the people he brought home the very same way.) 

“You know, this was not the situation I was envisioning when the idea of you and rope came to mind,” he says, because making a flirty joke is familiar and Gods knows he needs something familiar right now. This is a situation he can handle better as Astarion the rake, who lets nothing get too close, who brushes off mortal peril with a quick comment and a fake grin. When he’s sure the ropes are tight, he walks over to his bedroll, and grabs a blanket to sit on, a light scroll, a book, and after some hesitation, his daggers. 

(He’s not going to need them, he isn’t. Rune gave him these daggers and told him to “keep them as sharp as your fangs” should he choose to use them.)

(He desperately hopes he’s not going to need them).

Once his supplies are grabbed and organized, he places the blanket on the ground and sits on it. He casts light on a nearby wilted plant, and sits back. He looks at the sorcerer he has bedded in a gambit for security and thinks about how said gambit turned on its head when he found he actually rather liked the person who offered to cast him minor illusion to see his own reflection and provided their blood in a land of shadows because “you shouldn’t starve.”

“I will admit this isn’t how I wanted to spend my evening, but I suppose I’ll survive.” He reaches for his book and opens it, even though he doubts he’s going to be able to focus enough to read a word. “Hopefully, this is all a false alarm, and I can simply catch up on this chapter. Do you think the Count will actually manage to make any progress in his grand plan, or is he going to keep dithering about Waterdeep for another thirty pages?”

(The book was also a gift from Rune, though it was not the first one the sorcerer gave him. A day after reaching the Blighted Village, Astarion had sneaked back from his midnight meal to find the human grumbling over a slightly burnt text near the fire. Hoping to distract them from the fact he was awake in the first place, Astarion had inquired about the books’ contents, only to find himself the audience for a tirade about overly complicated murder plots. Apparently, Rune had strong opinions on the accuracy of snakes climbing ropes. From that point on, Astarion had found himself part of the world’s strangest murder mystery book club, where the pair both tried to guess how the murder took place and then endlessly complained about how overcomplicated it was when stabbing them in an alley would work just fine). 

Rune does not reply. Astarion doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Instead of debating it further, he instead tries to turn his attention to the text in front of him, and hopes that Rune is wrong and the only thing that will occur this night is Astarion getting some reading in and Rune waking up with some neck pain.

HOUR TWO: 

Rune wakes up around ten minutes after the first hour mark. 

That isn’t quite correct. Something wakes up around the ten minute mark. It is not Rune.

Astarion knows it before they even open their mouth. From the moment they wake up, they struggle against their own bindings, jerking much like a wounded animal caught in a trap. When their eyes open, there are none of the emotions he’s used to seeing in their expression, instead an empty raw look that reminds Astarion of a starving hound. Before he can say a word, they snarl at him.

“I see my rope is sadly going to good use,” Astarion says, putting the book aside and getting on his knees in case he needs to stand and get away. He doubts it, those knots should hold and Rune doesn’t seem to be capable of casting spells at the moment, but it's best to be cautious. 

“I will rip out your tongue and swallow it whole,” Rune says in a voice that does not sound like Rune at all. It’s a whole octave lower, and there’s a throaty edge to it, like the human has inhaled smoke.

“I know I tease quite a bit, but ripping out my tongue is rather excessive, don’t you think?” The banter doesn’t land, it’s almost like Rune can’t even hear him. Astarion wonders if they will even remember this in the morning. 

He hopes not. He can remember watching his body follow Cazador’s every order as he tried desperately to claw back control. It is a fate he would not wish on any of his companions. 

It occurs to him that this could be like a possession. It would make the most sense, and the impulse to wake up Shadowheart returns. Rune hisses and snaps forward, trying to bite one of his hands and Astarion steps back. He can see drool and blood from their now broken lip fall onto the bedroll. 

( He can see himself in a coffin, snapping at the rat Cazador is holding out for him with a wicked smile .)

No, he won’t wake her. Not yet at least, not unless morning comes without a respite. Instead he shakes his head, tries to keep his voice light. 

“Ah, ah, ah, we ask before we bite.”

Rune snaps at him again, struggling at the bindings and Astarion can smell the blood from broken skin on their wrists and lip. His own mouth waters and he ignores it.

If there is one thing he learned in Cazador’s halls, it was how to be hungry. 

HOUR THREE:

After an hour, the thing that has taken Rune’s face stops threatening to murder him and starts growling instead. Despite it being off-putting, Astarion is thankful for the respite, as all the comments about ways to display his internal organs were getting old. 

“You’re cute, you know.,” he says, too tired to think through what he’s saying. “In another life we might have been friends.”

It’s an odd thought that comes to mind, the concept of him meeting whatever this is back when he was under Cazador’s boot. What would he make of someone like this, who growled murderous insults and clawed at the ground as if the dirt could draw blood? Interesting perhaps? Maybe pitiful? An asset against Cazador?

(He knows what he would have done. He would have dragged them back to the manor and not had a second thought as soon as Cazador had them in his clutches. He would have gone back to the rooms and thought nothing more of a human with white hair, a lanky build and a soft smile. He would have continued on and not known that should he have met that same human during the day, they would ask him about the embroidery on his sleeves and tease him that magistrates were actually in contact with the hells. He would not even know the human’s name when the sun rose to a world they no longer occupied).

(He cannot think about this. He refuses). 

He feels like he’s going to be sick. 

“On second thought,” he says, looking away from Rune. The shadow lands around them seem darker at night. He finds himself desperate for the sun. “It’s probably for the best that we didn't meet at all.”

The thing that is not Rune growls again, with more energy this time. 

“Growl all you want but it won’t stop the dawn. This will be over soon.”

HOUR FOUR:

Whatever is controlling Rune goes back to insults eventually, though their voice frayed from all the growling. Astarion ignores most of them, until one in particular captures his attention.

“I will wed you with a delicate veil of blood blooming over your white curls.”

Astarion stares at Rune, or whatever is possessing them, with a rather shocked expression. It says something about his life, or undeath, he supposes, that the word “wed” is the one that caught him off guard in that sentence, not the rest of it. Marriage is not a concept he has thought about in relationship to himself for at least a century. When he was younger it had its allure, Astarion was serious when he said Wyll was the type of man he dreamed of marrying when he was thirteen, but now? He’s a spawn, for Gods sake. Creatures like him either die or become vampire lords: there are no other endings. 

He does not say any of this out loud. Instead he goes for a quip. 

“Marriage? Darling, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, we’re not even-“

He cuts off. They’re not even what? More than bedmates? That’s not right: he hasn’t bedded Rune since they entered the shadowlands and Rune has made no complaint about it at all. Not even friends? That didn’t seem right either. He’s not sure how to label how he feels about this human, but when one offers to draw your scars in the dirt so you can see them and you actually let them, you were probably at least friends.  Exclusive? No, that also doesn’t fit. Astarion hasn’t bothered to lie with anyone else in camp and Rune hasn’t either, even when Astarion made it clear he didn’t mind. And it wasn’t like Rune didn’t have options to pick from: Lae’Zel’s proposal had been quite direct and Astarion had bit the inside of his cheek to not laugh as their usually composed sorcerer flushed peach pink. Gale had made an attempt as well, though Rune didn’t tell him about that one until afterwards. 

“I’ve spoiled you too much for even the lover of a Goddess. How flattering!” They were in Rune’s tent at the time, a mage light cast upon a blue crystal Rune kept around for decor. It was one of the few pieces of decoration they kept around consistently, as the human tended to switch things out, trying to figure out what they liked and what they didn’t from the ruins of their memory. Rune had returned from a talk with Gale with a moderate flush and after a glass of terrible wine and some cajoling, Astarion had gotten the whole story out of them.

Rune tilted their head and shook it slightly. Their hair was rumpled from a day of casting electricity magic, and Astarion resisted the urge to curl his fingers into one of the white cowlicks. Something about the lack of polish Astarion found endearing.  

“No, no, not that,” they said. “It’s just, well for one, I don’t like him like that. And even if I did, well-” Rune took a sip of their wine, finishing off the glass. “His last relationship wasn’t good for him-”

“Darling, you cannot kill the Goddess of magic,” Astarion said, noticing a hard glint in their eyes. It wasn’t like Astarion was on board with the idea as a concept, the Goddess sounded dreadful, but he rather liked existing and fighting Gods was a speedy way to die. He didn’t mind Rune’s more violent tendencies, but he’d rather they not get themselves smited. 

“Anyway-” Rune continued, ignoring him. “He’s a sweet man but, well.” They placed the glass on a wooden stump Rune used as a side table and tangled their fingers together. It was something they did when they were being thoughtful. “Gale seems to admire me too much for his own good. I’d ruin him.” 

That was not the answer Astarion was expecting. He sat up on his own bedroll, a feeling of apprehension coming over him.

“And what, you think I’m-” Already ruined? That stung more than Astarion cared to admit, even if it wasn’t surprising. He didn’t finish his sentence. He couldn’t. Saying it out loud made it seem too concrete, too physical, too noticeable. 

"What! No!” Rune’s eyes grew large and they shook their head violently. They tore their left hand from their right to gesture with and for a moment, Astarion feared for the fate of the wine glass on the table should they accidentally knock it off. With their right hand, they reached out and grabbed Astarion’s hand tightly, while their left reached out for his jaw, pausing a moment so he could turn away should the touch be unwanted. Astarion didn’t protest, and Rune’s hand touched his chin briefly to tilt his head up so he’d meet their eyes. “No, absolutely not. Shit, I could have phrased that better. Gods, no, Astarion, I didn’t mean it that way.”

"And in what way could you mean it?” The sneer in Astarion’s voice wasn’t intentional, but it was better than sounding hurt. 

Rune bit their lower lip, which was something Astarion often found adorable when he was in a better mood. They looked away from him, took a steadying breath, then looked back. “I’d ruin Gale because he’s a hopeless romantic. He’s sweet, but he has a nasty habit of hubris; if faced with an unstoppable problem, he’d burn himself alive to fix it. I’m not saying you’re not smart, or romantic-“

“Or beautiful, don’t forget beautiful.”

Rune chuckled, some tension leaving their shoulders. “That too, as well as quite vain.” Astarion pouted at the addendum but let the sorcerer finish. “I’m saying you’re smart enough to run away.” 

Astarion considered that for a moment. It was certainly better than what he’d originally thought, but he wasn’t quite sure if it was a compliment. What was that supposed to mean? “Are you calling me a coward now?”

Rune smiled, a little sad, and rubbed their thumb across the back of his hand. It was unfamiliar but nice. “No, no, more realistic .” They leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, something they’d previously only done after sex. “I just know you’ll be safe, that’s all. That you wouldn’t hurt yourself for a hopeless cause.” 

Rune jerks again in their sleep, snapping Astarion out of the memory. Thinks of resignation in the sorcerer's eyes that night, how something about it ached. How familiar the sentiment felt.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Astarion says as the sorcerer spits out another cruel insult.

He’s shocked to find that he means it. 

HOUR FIVE

Astarion has spent much of life afraid, but he has never been so frightened when the dawn is an hour away and Rune has not stopped twitching.

He thought he was done with this, the idea of caring for others. After the year in the darkness, he’d swore to never care about anyone again except himself because caring was a luxury and he couldn’t even afford to buy new clothes. The tadpole has given him more freedom than he’s had in centuries but as long as Cazador was alive, caring was supposed to be off the table. 

And yet. And yet. 

Astarion intended for Rune to be a means to an end. Someone to wind around his finger like an armor against the world. But Astarion does not find himself panicking when his armor is dented or bruised. Astarion does not spend more time with his armor than necessary so it will not be lonely. Astarion does not worry that should his armor learn it was initially a means to an end of keeping him safe, it will never trust him again.

(This metaphor is rubbish, this Astarion knows. Watching someone you care for deeply scrape their wrists raw makes one less adept in turns of phrases).

For the first time all night, Rune whimpers, a small soft noise that would have frozen Astarion’s heart if it was still beating. Rune doesn’t whimper (well, not unless it was in the fun sort of way). They’re  reluctant to show weakness or accept the comfort they so freely give to others. For them to sound like this-

Astarion reaches forward and when the human doesn't try to bite him, he pushes their white hair back and out of their eyes. They were drenched in sweat, and still clammy. Before he can pull away, they lean into his hand with a sigh, seeking comfort from frozen hands, and Astarion feels his throat tighten.

“This thing can’t have you,” he says, running his thumb against their forehead wrinkles and a faded scar just over their right eyebrow. They are so covered in scars, and each day they risk gaining even more. “It won’t win.”

Rune doesn’t respond to his statement, instead breathing softly. They must have finally worn themselves out to fall asleep. Astarion considers pulling his hand back, he probably should given the threat were they to wake up again, but he finds himself reluctant to do so, instead continuing to gently stroke the sorcerer’s brow with his thumb. 

“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” He whisperes. The birds were starting to chirp now, singing their song in anticipation of the sunrise. “Come back to yourself, and I’ll consider telling you. I think that’s a fair bargain.”

DAYBREAK:

Day comes and Rune returns with it. 

They don’t open their eyes right away, tense and still. Astarion can see them rub their hands together and they stiffen further when the sorcerer’s thumb runs across some dried blood on their palm. He doesn’t understand why until the corner of their eyes tighten and they suck in a short breath, a whisper of a sob on the precipice. 

Rune told the entire camp that when Alfira died, they’d woken up in the morning with their hands covered in blood. For them to wake up and find the same sensation present-

“It’s your own blood, darling,” Astarion says, reaching forward to place his hand on their shoulder. Their eyes open wide, and they take him in with a look that Astarion feels like he might be able to name if he lived a kinder existence. “You rubbed your wrists raw enough to bleed, I’m afraid.”

“Astarion,” they said, lips parting, some tension melting from their frame. “You’re alright.” Then, they flinch, pain crossing their features. “Ow, my neck.”

Astarion almost wants to cry at the complaint. “You might have strained it trying to bite me. Do you remember that?”

Given the sudden look of horror on Rune’s expression, they do now. 

Rune explains what they can after Astarion unties them. Most of it are things Astarion already knows; Alfira, the urges, the loss of sleep. The insight about Isobel and the butler is a new one, and he thinks back to the cape in his tent that Rune had shoved onto him like they couldn’t get rid of it fast enough. At the time, Astarion thought the gift was an attempt to curry his favor. He’s not sure how to view the gift with this new context.

“I was wondering why you didn’t want to spend much time enjoying Harper's hospitality,” Astarion muses. He watches as Rune rubs their wrists with their palms, trying to massage out the aches. They will need to see a healer for certain; Astarion knows they’ve been dabbling in the bardic arts but not enough to heal injuries. 

“I thought I couldn’t risk it,” Rune says, moving to pick up the rope. Astarion watches as they cast mending and then pull at each end. When the rope holds firm, they hand it back to Astarion. “I thought the less time I spent around there, the less likely I might slip up.”

“If you’d shared that earlier, I would have grumbled less about the horrors of the great outdoors.”

Rune shoots him an apologetic frown. “I thought telling Isobel would be enough. I never thought-“ They close their eyes briefly and sigh. “I should have considered it a possibility. I’m sorry.” When they open their eyes again, Astarion does not miss how they take a step away from him. They look towards the other tents, avoiding his gaze.

“I should tell the others.”

Astarion reaches forward and grabs their wrist. They pull back for a moment and Astarion loosens his grip to make it clear that’s an option, if they want it. But after a second passes and they don’t pull away, he pulls their hand up to inspect the rope burns and cuts. Their wrists are going to bruise a sickening greenish-yellow. 

“You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want.” Astarion says, dropping their wrist. He forces a smile, makes sure his fangs are visible. “I can keep a secret.”

Rune’s hand reaches forward and up, like they are going to touch Astarions face, then stops, dropping arruptly. Astarion finds himself disappointed by the lack of contact. How strange. 

“I know you can,” they said. “But they deserve to know that there’s a danger. I can’t hide a monster from everyone.” And with that they head off towards Lae’Zel’s tent, to start gathering everyone for an unpleasant announcement.

It takes Astarion a moment to realize the “monster” they’re talking about is Rune themselves. 

*******************

Rune tells everyone about the night once everyone is up, gathering everyone around the remains of the fire. For someone who might not have slept more than an hour last night, they’re relatively composed as they tell the story, though they don’t look anyone in the eye as is their usual habit. As the tale begins to wind down, Astarion is reluctant to look at their companions either. 

It occurs to Astarion halfway through Rune’s tale something that he should have realized much earlier: he might be content to camp with a sleeping murderer, but other people might object. In fact, most people might protest to such a situation, and he can feel himself grow colder as he realizes a grave mistake.

When Rune woke him last night, Astarion saw someone who needed their help. He’d held off from grabbing anyone else for the sake of Rune’s privacy. But he never considered they might see something else: a monster needing to be exorcized. 

He steps closer to Rune and is very glad they are wearing their gear.  Astarion doesn’t think most of the camp will attack Rune, it would be foolhardy given the prism’s like of their resident sorcerer, but fear makes people foolish and he is not betting Rune’s life. The sorcerer doesn’t appear to be paying much attention to their crowd at all, a rarity for them, speaking of an urge to maim and kill as they stare down at their raw wrists. When they bring their story to a close, their voice is a whisper from overuse.

“And that’s it,” they say, rubbing a thumb over a red mark on their left hand. “I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, you know that, I just-it escalated so fast. I thought-no I hoped, Alfira was a one off and when I realized otherwise, well-“ A half hearted shrug. “I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier but that’s all I know.” They look up, exhausted. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again. I’m terrified it will happen again.”

Rune is looking at Astarion when he says the last part. Astarion knows what they’re trying to say, besides the obvious. The statement is one part apology and one part resignation. Permission for him to run away as fast as possible and not look back.

He should run away, that’s the thing. Or at least consider it. Astarion has spent two centuries desperately wishing for the power to just run away, and now that he has it, he should be taking it as far away from this ruinous sorcerer as possible.

He doesn’t want to. It’s ridiculous, and ludicrous and absurd, but he doesn’t want to. Not because this group offers him the closest thing he has to protection against Cazador, not because the prism might not work if he runs too far, but because the person who is now the greatest threat to his person was also the one who offered him blood when he was starving, who stole him gently used clothes because he had none, who treated him not with pity or condemnation but as a person. 

Astarion has so little he could call his own. But whatever relationship lies between him and Rune mocking poorly painted portraits and trying to solve mystery novels three chapters in was his. He will not throw it away so easily. 

Karlach speaks first. “So, how are we doing this then? I’m thinking about shifts so no one gets too tired?”

“What?” Rune sounds entirely lost and Astarion finds he doesn’t follow either. He watches as Karlach counts everyone in camp off on her fingers.

“Well, there are seven of us total, so we could probably each pick a different day and then rotate who has two shifts each tenday.”

“Do you think one of us would be suitable alone, or should we do pairs,” Lae’Zel adds, looking equally contemplative. A smile starts to spread across Astarion’s face as he realizes what they’re discussing. “Though if Astarion could hand it by himself, pairs might be a wasteful use of manpower.”

“Hey-“ Astarion says but before he can speak further, Wyll chimes in. 

“I can take tonight: I rested earlier last night anyway.”

“Are you guys offering to watch me sleep?” Rune says, staring at everyone with their mouth slightly open. It would be cute if they weren’t so incredulous. 

“Ew, that makes it sound creepy,” Karlach says. “We’re watching you in case you get all stabby again.”

“Do they even know how to properly wield a blade?” Lae’Zel eyes Rune’s arms and raises an eyebrow. “They couldn’t even open a door two days ago.”

For the first time since they’ve woken, Rune sounds something other than exhausted. “That door was solid stone-“

“Rune can wield a blade just fine,” Astarion purrs, trying to hide the relief that this is the result of this conversation. Everyone groans, Rune included.

They hash out the specifics of the rotation after that. No one mentions when Rune rubs at their eyes and takes a shuddering breath, nor do they point out how they cling to Karlach when she pulls them into a hug. Shadowheart offers to take a look at her religious texts to see if this malady might be divine in nature, while Gale offers in turn to message Tara and inquire about some texts he has back in Waterdeep. By the time Astarion and Rune are left alone, there is a full schedule set for watching the sorcerer for fits, with Astarion free to steal any extra should he wish to monopolize their time for himself without watching eyes. Rune looks an odd mix of fond and overwhelmed.

Astarion’s heart twists at that. Was that how he looked, when Rune offered him blood upon being rudely awoken? Was that how Astarion looked the next morning when everyone else learned of his affliction and no one began sharpening a stick?

Gratitude should not hurt so much. 

“I know you said it’s worth the peril but I did mean it, you know. When I said you could run. I won’t take it personally.” Rune says after a moment. They’re looking him in the eye, a sharp contrast to earlier when they were speaking about their urges. 

“You did mention it, yes. You know, you told me it wasn’t an insult but I find myself rather insulted. Do you truly expect me to cut and run?”

Rune’s chin tilts up, their face stoic, but Astarion can hear the hint of a tremble in their voice. “You should.”

Astarion thinks to last night. How Rune had woken him up and in a shaky voice told him that his life was in danger solely due to the sorcerer’s care. A care Rune apparently doesn’t expect to be returned in light of this recent revelation.

Astarion will have to remedy that. Come clean about his whole botched scheme really, which he’s frankly dreading, but some tasks are worth doing despite the mess. Now isn’t the best time but soon. He’s hoping he’ll find the right words soon enough, words that are actually his instead of automatic cloying phrases used over two centuries of hell. To stop feeling like he needs to put on an act.

“I’ve been doing quite a few things I shouldn’t do recently; walking in the sun, leaving the city, snacking on nearby sorcerers,” He turns to Rune and quirks one eyebrow. “I might as well keep at it with such excellent results.”

Rune blushes and chuckles. Their hand is right there, should Astarion wish to take it, but it doesn’t feel right, not until he tells them the entire truth at least. Hopefully it will still be there once the dust has settled.

It might be nice, he thinks, to lace his fingers between theirs and know that he’s doing so solely because he wants to. 

[dollya-robinprotector]

You got doxxed? If youre comfortable with it would you mind sharing more on that? I always associated doxxing with big named online people as a kid but now I realize it happens to just anyone. How does someone deal with that? How do you protect yourself from future cases? I know you aren’t an expert or anything but I’d like to know your experience.

Sure~ though, I doubt I have any experiences at all since, well, I ran away from it.

So it was back when I was still in Genshin fandom. I'm a very enthusiastic fanartist of two very scandalous ships in the fandom at that time, when Liyue just landed. Ah wait, thinking back, it was 3 ships, one "pedo", one "incest yaoi" and one "underage" ship. Also, my fav character is Xinyan, and according to some people, I "white washed" her.

As I was being on Twitter, I was witch-hunted. They commented, sent me harassment, bombarded my DM with death-threats,... They screenshot my twitter wall and posted it on public and "warned" others that I'm a "pedo, sexualized underage children",... They somehow even stalk my facebook and gmail and spammed the heck outta me, traced all the way back at my old post to comment hate. Then they somehow found even my phone number and sent hate too...

It was painful to be honest. BUT I have friends and other fanartist who were willing to protect me. They helped me to report hate comments, told me those DMs were bullshit and redirected my attention to other things. Us Asian fan have very different view from Westerner, and we're so chill with pro-ship I still can't understand how those hater can assume I'm a bad person just because they don't like my ships?? Fellow Asian fanartists got my back too. We continued to exchange drawings and cheering each other up and laughing because we knew those haters must be fuming with rage as we did so. I can't change the phone number, but luckily I had other numbers to use, and I made other gmail to take commissionsnd too. I sorta got used to the harassment as things kept going on, and the haters sorta fell out of it when they can't get my atention anymore.

Still, it's mentally strained to maintain such a strong front. And then to add more to the already-bad-enough, one of my friend passed away due to SLE. That was when I lost my final resolve and became a grieving mess. I made my final post on twitter saying farewell, and then never look back, never draw anything for genshin ever again. I ran away and closed myself, only socialized with irl friends, not drawing or posting online,etc... For years before I joined DoL fandom on tumblr.

So there you have it! I don't really know how to tell story, so I write down whatever I remember. Even if this can't count as experiences to deal with doxxing, it was how I got away with it. Man, really makes me appreciate the tumblr DoL fandom even more.