#lotus notes filter

[littlebluebird2000]

Where the Lotus Grows

PART 5 : As One.

pairing: yeon si-eun x reader (female reader)

rating: 18+

genre: romance, historical setting, slow burn, smut

warnings: smut, family conflict, power imbalance, death, su*cide, bullying, social pressure, trauma, violence

summary: within the walls of the royal palace, nothing is ever as it seems. as subtle glances turn into quiet conversations, and duty begins to blur with longing, you must learn to survive the delicate game of court life without losing yourself.

author's note: it’s finally here! i’m so sorry about the long wait! i hope it will be worth it! it’s the wedding day! hope everyone like it! please like comment and share if you enjoy my stories! the support as been amazing <3

word count: 8k

part 1. part 2. part 3. part 4. part 5.

part 6. part 7.

follow #bluebirdyeonsieun for updates on my stories or comment to be added to the tagglist

You stirred to the gentle hush of morning light filtering through the latticed windows, the faint golden glow painting soft patterns across the floor. The air was still, wrapped in the quiet of early day.

Somewhere in your sleep, you had turned. You were now lying on your side, your head resting against the steady rise and fall of his chest. His warmth surrounded you. One of his arms had settled loosely around your waist, the other resting near his side.

You blinked slowly, adjusting to the light. You had slept later than usual. The thought barely had time to settle before you became aware of how comfortable you were. How easily your body had settled against his, as though it had always known the shape of him.

A faint flush warmed your cheeks. Thankfully, the fabric of his bedding still put a distance between the skin of his chest and your face. You felt shy, hesitant to move. Not out of fear, but because it felt right…Natural, even.

Carefully, you tilted your head just enough to glance upward.

Sieun was still asleep.

His face, usually guarded, was utterly still. The tension in his brow had eased. His lips were parted slightly, his breath soft and even. Without the weight of the court or the burden of pain, he looked younger. Almost gentle.

You stayed there, listening to his heartbeat beneath your ear. You did not want to move. Not yet.

Sieun must have been truly exhausted. He didn’t stir, not even once as the minutes passed. You let the quiet stretch, your head rising and falling with each slow breath he took.

Eventually, he moved. A subtle shift of his head, a faint tension in his brow as if caught between dream and waking. His head turned slightly from side to side, his breath changing pace. When his eyes opened, there was a flicker of confusion in them.

His gaze dropped to his chest, where your head lay nestled. He stilled.

For a moment, he looked at you like he couldn’t believe you were still there. Like he had expected to wake up alone, or to wake afraid from a nightmare.

“Good morning.” You said softly.

His lips parted, and his voice came low and rough. “Morning.” His gaze held yours, and something in it wavered, touched with quiet wonder.

You sat up slowly, and as you moved, you felt the light weight of his hand still resting on your waist. The warmth of it lingered a moment longer before you gently stood and circled around to his injured side.

You met his eyes with a silent question. He gave a faint nod.

You knelt beside him and carefully peeled back the bandage. His shoulder twitched slightly under your touch, and he winced just a little. The wound still looked angry, but the swelling had eased, and the skin around it had begun to settle.

You cleaned it gently, dabbing with a damp cloth, then applied a fresh layer of the herbal poultice. His eyes followed your movements, calm and quiet.

Once you finished wrapping the wound again, you sat back and met his gaze.

“How do you feel?”

“Better.” He said simply.

And you believed him. The truth was in his voice, steady and unguarded.

You reached for the small pouch on the floor and held up a strip of bark. “Still, it won’t hurt to chew on another.” This time, he took it without hesitation and began to chew, his gaze still resting on you, a little softer now.

You lingered there for a moment, watching him. The light from the window cast a soft glow over his face, catching in his lashes, his cheekbones, the dark fall of his hair.

Then, softly, you asked, “Are you hungry?”

He paused, the bark shifting slightly in his mouth. A moment passed before he nodded.

“A little.” He admitted, voice low.

You smiled gently. “Then I’ll go let the maids know. We should both clean up a little first, and then maybe…” You hesitated, just for a beat. “Maybe we can have breakfast together. How does that sound?”

His eyes lifted to yours. There was a flicker of something behind them, soft and surprised, and then he nodded slowly. “Alright.” He said, almost like a whisper.

You rose carefully, adjusting the folds of your nightrobes with a small, absent gesture. As you stepped toward the door, you felt his gaze follow you.

Sieun was watching you leave in silent wonder. His face was still, contemplative, as though something had just clicked into place.

Your hair was a little disheveled, your expression still touched with sleep. You were unadorned and completely natural. In a palace thick with pretense, where every word was measured and every smile rehearsed, there was nothing false about you. Not in the way you fretted over his wound, or the way you spoke without calculation.

So far, you had kept the only promises he truly cared about. Your honesty and your loyalty. And for the second, he would never doubted you.

Even after you left, offering him a small smile over your shoulder, he remained where he was, unmoving, as if trying to hold on to the feeling of you just a little more.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Stepping out the Prince’s chamber, you came face to face with a smirking Suho.

He was leaned casually against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

“Good morning, My Lady.” He said, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Sleep well?”

You blinked at him, surprised. He tilted his head, clearly enjoying your reaction.

“I said I would wait, remember?” He added, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Didn’t think you’d be the one to stay the night, though.”

Heat crept into your cheeks, but you didn’t look away. “He was in pain. Someone had to care for him.”

“Well.” He said lightly, gaze flicking over your rumpled nightrobes and mussed hair. “I’m sure he feels much better now.”

You let out a deep breath but chose not to respond.

Suho’s smile faded into something quieter, more sincere. He straightened slightly. “Thank you.” He said, voice low. “Truly. He doesn’t let people help him. Not when it hurts. Especially not then.”

You blinked, caught off guard by the shift in his tone. The sincerity in Suho’s voice settled somewhere deep in your chest. You looked away for a moment, then nodded, your voice soft. “I just… couldn’t stand doing nothing.”

Suho’s gaze lingered on you, quiet and thoughtful. Then he let out a breath, the corners of his mouth lifting in a faint smile that held no amusement, only warmth.

“I don’t think he knows how to say it.” He said. “But he’s grateful. More than he’ll ever admit.”

There was a moment of silence. Your fingers fidgeted with the edge of your sleeve, and your heart began to beat a little faster. You weren’t sure if it was hope, fear, or something in between, but it settled quietly in your chest all the same.

You looked back toward the door, then back to him. “Can you let the maids know we’ll need breakfast? I will go back to my quarters to freshen up.”

Suho straightened and gave you a short bow. He tilted his head slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. “Do you remember the way back to your quarters?”

“I remember.” You nodded quickly.

He smiled. “Take your time, My Lady.”

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Breakfast was brought to the room not long after. Steamed rice, soft eggs, a light soup, and sweet jujube tea filled the space with a gentle warmth. You ate together in quiet comfort, seated close by the low table, knees nearly touching. There was something oddly domestic about it. No grand gestures. No pretense. Just two people sharing a quiet morning after a long night.

Conversation came more easily than before. Sieun asked small things, like what herbs you preferred, what your maid once said about the palace kitchens, and whether you had truly climbed trees as a child. You answered without hesitation, the way you would with someone you trusted.

The conversation shifted gently, and before you realized it, you were speaking of your family.

You told him how everything shifted the moment he proposed. Sooyeon had looked at you with disbelief and disgust, accusing you of manipulating both princes, of selling yourself for status. Your mother hadn’t defended you—just sat in silence, lips pressed thin. Your father said nothing at all.

Sieun didn’t interrupt. He just listened, quietly and completely. There was no judgment in his expression, only a deep and steady attention that made you feel seen in a way your own family never had. You hadn’t realized how much you needed that until now.

Talking with him felt simple. And safe.

With the tea taken away by the maids and the room quiet again, you let your eyes settle on him. He looked relaxed, his posture softer than usual, the sharp edge of court life nowhere in sight. You liked him like this. He wasn’t the Prince right now. He was Sieun.

That’s why you hesitated before saying: “The wedding is in three days.” You glanced toward his bandaged shoulder. “Do you think you’ll be alright by then?”

“I will be.” He said simply. “Don’t worry.” There was a quiet certainty in his voice that made you believe him.

“And what are we going to do about the Crown Prince?”

He didn’t answer right away, just wiped his hands with a cloth, eyes cast downward for a moment. Then he looked at you, steady.

“My father will keep a closer watch on him now.” He said. “At least for a while. But that doesn’t mean he won’t find a way around it. We’ll have to be careful.”

You nodded, though your stomach tightened at the thought. “Has he ever… tried something like this before?”

Sieun gave a short breath, almost a laugh, though there was no humor in it. “Not like this. But he’s always had his ways.”

He leaned back a little, gaze flickering to the window as if watching something that wasn’t there.

“When we were children, my mother painted me a scroll. A phoenix flying over a flowering tree. She worked on it for weeks. It was one of the few thing I had left of her after she died.” His jaw tightened slightly. “One day I found it torn in half. Shredded, really. The Crown Prince claimed he thought it was just some old paper. I didn’t believe him. I lost my temper. Broke a porcelain bowl over his head.”

Your eyes widened.

“I was scolded, of course. But after that, we kept our distance. He never laid a hand on anything of mine again.”

“But now he has.” You said quietly.

Sieun nodded once. “He’s not over it. Any of it. Not the way our father treats me. Not that I’m marrying you. To him, it’s all the same insult. All the same proof that he’s losing.”

The room felt heavier for a moment. You saw it more clearly now. It was not just rivalry, but a long, festering wound between brothers that had never fully closed. And you were caught in the middle of it.

“Do you think he’ll try again?”

Sieun’s gaze sharpened. “Yes. I think he’s too proud not to. He doesn’t let go of things easily. But neither do I.”

His voice was calm, but there was something cold beneath it. Not hatred, but resolve.

You reached across the small table and brushed your fingers lightly against the back of his hand. “Then we’ll be careful. Together.”

His hand turned to catch yours.

“Together.” He said.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The scent of fresh flowers lingered in the air, light and clean.

Seorin looked like she could barely contain herself. “My lady, you look like you belong in a royal painting.” She said with a grin, adjusting the long outer robe draped over your shoulders. “He won’t be able to stop staring.”

The robe was beautiful, decorated with colorful threads in patterns of flowers and birds. It was heavier than anything you had ever worn before. Beneath it, the long red skirt brushed the floor with every movement. Seorin reached up to fix a final pin in your hair and then checked the wide ribbon that trailed down your back.

Your hands lay still in your lap, but your heart fluttered with anticipation. The morning had passed in a blur, like a dream you hadn’t quite woken from. Around you, the estate buzzed with movement. Maids rushed in and out, voices hushed but hurried. Each person moved with purpose, each step taken to ensure everything was perfect and ready on time.

Seorin stepped back and smiled proudly. “There. All done.”

You turned slightly toward the mirror. For a moment, the reflection did not feel like yours. The clothes, the hair, the posture. Everything looked polished and formal. But your eyes were still your own. You took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“Do you think he’s nervous?” You asked quietly.

Seorin laughed under her breath. “Prince Sieun? He better be.”

You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest. Outside, faint music began to drift through the walls. It was soft and slow, the kind played only during important ceremonies.

Just then, a court lady stepped inside and bowed. “It is time.”

Seorin turned to you again and gave your hand a squeeze. “Come, my lady. Let’s not keep your groom waiting.”

Outside, the estate was quiet but dressed for celebration. Silk banners in soft reds and golds fluttered gently in the breeze, and flower petals had been scattered across the stone path. The air felt crisp and fresh, as though even the wind knew today was important.

The carriage stood waiting at the gate, its wooden frame polished to a shine. Two guards stood on either side, and the horses had been brushed until their coats gleamed.

Inside, the cushions were soft and covered in embroidered silk. You gathered your skirt and stepped in, settling gently into the seat. Seorin followed only briefly to straighten the folds of your robes and tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“You look perfect.” She said again, her voice quieter this time. “I’ll be just behind you.”

You nodded, lips pressed together to keep steady. Then the door closed, and the gentle jolt of the wheels told you the journey had begun.

The palace was not far, but the ride still felt longer than usual. Perhaps it was the silence, or the knowledge of what waited at the end of the path. You looked out the small window, watching the scenery slip past. Cherry blossoms were beginning to bloom along the road, their petals falling in soft drifts. Your thoughts drifted inward, back to the quiet moment that morning when Seorin had helped fasten the sash at your waist.

“He sent the wedding gifts to your family at dawn.” She had whispered, her hands busy smoothing the fabric. “He made sure everything arrived properly. He didn’t want to leave it to a court official.” You had nodded then, still half lost in sleep.

It was expected, of course. It was traditional for the groom to present ceremonial gifts to the bride’s family. But for a prince, it carried even more weight. It was obligation, a matter of dignity and honor. To neglect it would have been seen as a slight not only to your family, but to the court and the customs everyone watched so closely.

You should have felt more nervous about seeing your family again, after everything. There was cold distance that now sat between you and the people who had once shaped your world.

But strangely, you didn’t seem to care right now.

Because today was not about them.

It was about you.

You and the Prince.

When the palace gates finally came into view, tall and wide and dressed in ceremonial silk, you felt your breath catch. Guards stood lined at attention. Court ladies moved in clusters near the entrance, their robes gleaming in the sunlight.

The carriage began to slow.

And in that moment, you came to the quiet realization:

This was really happening.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The palace courtyard was awash in sunlight and soft music. Banners stirred gently above the guests, and beyond the long ceremonial path, you saw him.

Prince Sieun stood at the entrance, already waiting. His posture was calm, composed, as though nothing in the world could disturb the stillness he carried. He looked only at you.

Seorin helped you step down from the carriage. Her grip lingered for a breath longer than necessary, as if reluctant to let go. You barely heard her whispered encouragement over the pounding in your ears.

His eyes met yours at once. No words passed between you, but there was something steady in his gaze, something grounding. When you reached him, he gave a small nod, and without touch or gesture, you both began walking together.

Side by side.

You matched his pace, shoulders nearly aligned. Ahead, the King and Queen sat beneath the royal canopy. The Queen’s expression was composed, her gaze cool. The Crown Prince stood to one side, his posture rigid, his face unreadable. The King, however, leaned forward slightly, watching the two of you with approving eyes.

At the foot of the platform, you and Sieun stopped.

Together, you bowed low. Your forehead touched the floor. A gesture of respect, of loyalty, of acknowledgment. The air around you was hushed.

The officiant stepped forward, his robes a formal blend of white and deep red. His voice was calm and even as he announced the ritual that would join you and Prince Sieun as husband and wife before the heavens and the court.

You turned to face him. He mirrored your movement.

You bowed to one another, demonstrating the respect for your significant other. When you rose, your eyes found his again. Though practiced, the moment felt intimate. For a moment, the weight of the ceremony, the watchful eyes of the royal family, the hush of the crowd—none of it seemed to matter. It was only him, and you.

A servant stepped forward with a brass basin and pitcher. The water was cool, scented faintly with chrysanthemum. You held out your hands, and Sieun did the same. The servant poured carefully, allowing the water to run over your palms as a symbol of purification. A white cloth was offered next, which you both used to dry your hands in turn. The gesture was supposed to symbolize washing away your past selves, beginning again as one.

“I vow to walk beside you.” He said. “In hardship, in peace, in silence, and in storm. I will guard what we build together, and protect what you hold dear. You will have my loyalty, and what gentleness I can offer.”

You swallowed softly, the weight of his words settling in your chest. Then it was your turn.

“I vow to be true to myself and to you.” You said, your voice steady. “To stand with you in truth, to listen when you speak, and to never turn away when you are silent. I will honor what we share, and protect what grows between us.”

There was no applause. Only silence. And then the King stood.

He regarded the two of you for a long moment. Though the court watched him carefully, his expression held something close to warmth.

“Let it be known.” The King said. “That this union is recognized not only by ceremony and tradition, but by my blessing. Let this bond strengthen the realm, and may your house be one of stability and honor.”

He raised a hand. “As King, I recognize this marriage as true and binding. Let none seek to unravel what has been joined here.”

The officiant stepped forward once more and bowed. “The ceremony is complete. The couple is now bound as husband and wife.”

There was a scattering of applause again, louder this time, as the music swelled in the background.

But you hardly noticed it.

You were still facing him, and he was still looking at you.

You had crossed a threshold—and there was no fear in you. Only something still, and certain.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The banquet hall shimmered under the lantern lights, alive with music and laughter. The long tables were filled with roasted meats, sweet fruits, and gleaming porcelain bowls of rice wine. Servants moved in practiced rhythm, weaving between nobles in colorful robes.

Beside you, Prince Sieun sat calm and quiet, his eyes occasionally scanning the room. You had barely touched your food. The weight of the day still lingered in your limbs, but so did something warmer. A soft, strange contentment.

Near the center of the hall, the King laughed loudly, his cup already half-emptied and his cheeks flushed. His voice echoed over the music.

“My son!” He roared, raising his wine to Sieun. “Finally a husband. A man! About time!”

There were a few chuckles around the room. Sieun bowed his head politely but didn’t rise.

The King stood, slightly swaying, and pointed at the two of you with a wide grin.

“She’s beautiful, this bride of yours! You’ve chosen well, my boy.”

He waved off the steward who tried to steady him and dropped back into his seat, muttering something cheerful about grandchildren. Across from him, the Queen sat motionless, her expression a bit bored. There was a slight tightening around her mouth as she looked toward the King, a glimmer of quiet exasperation showing in her eyes at his intoxication.

You turned your head slightly toward Sieun. He looked vaguely amused, though his expression was composed.

“Your father’s happy.” You said quietly.

“He’s drunk.” Sieun replied, rolling his eyes slightly, but there was no malice in it.

Before you could say more, movement at the side of the hall caught your eye. Your parents were approaching your table. You and Sieun stood up to greet them.

Your mother and father bowed. Sooyeon, just behind them, followed with a lowered head.

“Congratulations on your union.” Your father said. His voice was carefully controlled, but you noticed the faint tension in his brow. “It was a beautiful ceremony.”

You nodded, unsure what to say. Your mother looked at you with a quiet, almost searching expression.

Then your father turned to Sieun.

“Your Highness, I ask that you take good care of our daughter.”

Sieun held his gaze. “She is already well cared for.” He said. His tone was cool, but steady. “She is brave, intelligent, and honest. You should be proud of her.”

There was a beat of silence.

“We are.” Your mother said, her voice softer now. “We see that more clearly today than we did before.”

Your father gave a faint nod, as if accepting something too late.

Sooyeon didn’t speak. Her eyes flicked toward you only once before lowering again. A quiet apology.

“May your days together be long and peaceful.” Your father said.

You and Sieun bowed, and your family stepped away into the crowd.

As you sat again, Sieun took your hand underneath the table and leaned slightly closer. His voice was quiet, just for you.

“You don’t need anything from them anymore.” There was a small bitterness in his voice.

“It’s okay, Sieun.” You said softly, your eyes still following the silhouettes of your family. “They aren’t bad people. I don’t think they meant to push me aside. It’s just… Sooyeon was everything to them. She still is.”

“And now you’re everything to me.”

Your breath caught. You turned to him fully, eyes meeting his.

There was no doubt in his gaze. No pause, no flicker of uncertainty. Just the truth of it, laid out plainly for you to see.

A flush crept into your cheeks. Not from embarrassment, but something warmer. Deeper.

You looked down at your joined hands. “You really mean that.”

“I do.” He said.

The din of the banquet faded into something distant, something blurred. Right then, all you could hear was the quiet between you and the weight of what he had just said.

And it settled inside you like calm. Like home.

The King raised his cup once more with a grin and slurred voice.

“To the bride and groom!”

The hall echoed with polite cheers.

You allowed yourself a smile.

You would never be alone again.

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The carriage ride back to the estate was silent.

Not tense in a hostile way, but full of unspoken things. The day had been long, the celebration bright and crowded. But now, as the lantern-lit streets passed in blurred colors outside the small window, your thoughts turned inward.

Your hands rested tightly in your lap. You had barely moved since stepping into the carriage. The embroidered hem of your sleeve was slightly wrinkled from your grip. You weren’t cold, but you couldn’t seem to unclench your fingers.

Beside you, Sieun was quiet too. You felt his gaze on you now and then, calm and patient. As if he was giving you space, waiting until you could breathe again.

The closer you got to the estate, the more your chest tightened. You couldn’t stop thinking about what was waiting for you.

When the carriage finally pulled to a stop outside the estate, your stomach fluttered. You swallowed thickly as you stepped down, your legs a little unsteady beneath the layers of embroidered silk and satin.

The servants opened the doors with quiet bows. The house felt still, almost unnaturally so. Lantern light flickered across the wooden floors as you stepped into the corridor. You didn’t need anyone to guide you. You had walked these halls for weeks. But tonight, you weren’t returning to your own rooms. You followed Sieun, each step taking you closer to his chambers.

The doors were already open. Fresh bedding had been laid out, and the faint scent of sandalwood lingered in the air. You stepped inside slowly, your hands curling into fists at your sides. You weren’t sure what to do first or where to begin.

Sieun closed the door gently behind him. For a moment, he didn’t speak.

“Do you want to take off a few layers?” He asked gently, gesturing toward your ceremonial hanbok. “It looks heavy. It can’t be comfortable.”

You nodded, though your throat was too dry to speak. He stepped closer, his hands slow and careful as they reached for the heavy robe draped over your shoulders.

“May I?” He asked.

You gave him permission with a quiet breath, and he began to undo the outer layers. He lifted the heavy garment of your shoulders and you felt a temporary relief as the weight was removed. He didn’t try to undress you further. Instead, he moved behind you. You felt his fingers in your hair, beginning to undo the intricate pins and combs that held the elaborate hairstyle. One by one, he set them down beside you with a soft clink against the table.

At last, his fingers reached the final pin—the one adorned with lotus flowers. The one that had belonged to his mother.

He paused, hand lingering there.

The air shifted with the weight of it. He didn’t say a word, but you understood. This wasn’t just a hair ornament. It was his trust, his memory, a part of the woman he had loved most.

He set it down with quiet care, as if it were something sacred.

As it came free, your hair fell loose around your shoulders. You let out a small, shaky breath. Your pulse was quick, fluttering high in your throat. Each breath felt shallow, your chest tight, your body taut with nerves you couldn’t quite shake.

I don’t know what to do.

Sieun slowly stepped back in front of you and lifted your chin with his finger. Your gaze to meet his, and something unspoken passed between you. You didn’t need to say a word.

Gently, almost hesitantly, he reached out and pulled you into a quiet embrace. His arms wrapped around you, warm and steady, his chest firm against your own. He lowered his chin to rest gently on top of your head

“It’s okay.” He murmured. “You’re okay.”

You closed your eyes, trying to still your breathing, but it came shallow, shaky. Your fingers curled lightly against the back of his robe, uncertain of what to hold on to.

Slowly, his scent settled around you. Warm, clean, and familiar, it helped ease the panic creeping through your chest. You let yourself lean into him more as he began to sway you gently.

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out before you could stop them, muffled against his chest, small and unsure. You weren’t even sure what you were apologizing for. For being nervous? For trembling? For not being able to quiet the storm inside you?

His voice was barely a whisper. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.” His hand moved slowly through your hair, each pass steady and calm, as if trying to soothe the tension from your body. “I won’t rush you.” He said softly. “We can take our time. Alright?”

You nodded against his chest and stayed there, surrounded by silence. At first, you could only concentrate on your breathing. In. Out. One breath at a time. Then your attention drifted to him. The way his chest rose and fell. The calm rhythm of each breath. Little by little, your own heartbeat began to slow. The tightness in your chest loosened.

The room no longer felt quite so overwhelming. The nerves didn’t vanish completely, but they faded into something gentler. Something you could manage.

This was your husband.

You could trust him.

“I’m alright.” You murmured. “I think I’m alright now.”

Sieun stayed quiet at first, resting his chin lightly against your head as he pulled you closer. He held you like that for a while, gently swaying with you in the soft glow of candlelight. Eventually, he shifted, just enough to lean back and look at you. You raised your eyes to meet his, still wide and uncertain.

“You don’t need to be brave me.” He said softly. “It’s alright to be scared. It’s alright to be unsure.” His expression grew quiet, thoughtful. Then, in a low voice, he added. “I have been many things in this palace. A prince, a scholar, a dutiful son. But with you, I feel something else. Not a title. Not a role. Just… a man who’s found something he thought he would never have. I want to be a good husband to you.”

You blinked at him, heart fluttering in your chest. Blood rushed to your cheeks, and for a moment, you could only stare at him. He looked so steady, so sincere, and something about that made it hard to breathe.

“I’ve cared for you quietly for a long time.” He said. “Not once have I doubted what I feel. Especially now.”

Your breath hitched as the words sank in, filling something quiet and empty inside you. A warmth bloomed in your chest, tender and overwhelming. You looked at him, eyes stinging, heart pulling toward his with a kind of certainty that left no room for doubt.

Sieun moved slowly, his gaze fixed on yours. When you didn’t pull back, his hand lifted to your cheek, gentle and sure. Then he kissed you was. It was soft, unhurried, as if he didn’t want to startle you. The kiss deepened just slightly, a question and a promise, and you answered with the smallest tilt of your chin, your lips parting against his.

Your hand reached for him without thinking, fingers curling lightly against his sleeve. He shifted just enough to hold you closer, one arm wrapping gently around your waist.

No one had ever kissed you before. No one had ever touched you like this too, not just with care, but as if you were something fragile and precious. His warmth had begun to seep into your skin, chasing away the tension that had clung to you all day.

When you finally parted, your breath came in soft shallow waves. He rested his forehead against yours, eyes half-closed. “You’re shaking less.” He said quietly.

You hadn’t noticed it until then. But yes, your hands, your breath, your heart… everything felt a little steadier.

“I’m still nervous.” You admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “But not afraid.”

His thumb brushed your cheek, the softness of his touch anchoring you. “So am I.” He murmured.

You looked up at him, surprised. He always seemed so composed, so certain, like nothing ever shook him.

“You’re nervous?” You asked quietly.

A faint smile touched his lips. “Of course I am. This is new for me too.” He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’ve never wanted anything to go right as much as I want this to. With you.”

Your heart thudded at the words. Your hand rose instinctively, brushing over the front of his robe to feel the quiet rhythm of his own heart.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” You said after a moment.

He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay.” You nodded slowly. “I trust you.”

He held your gaze a moment longer, searching your expression as if making sure. His hand found yours, his fingers curling gently around your own.

“Come.” He said softly.

He led you to the bed, each step unhurried, his hand steady in yours. The room was quiet save for the soft whisper of fabric and the flickering of candlelight. As you reached the edge, something in the air shifted. A breath caught just below your ribs, tight with anticipation.

When his fingers reached for the ties at your shoulder, he paused. “Would you rather I help you… or would it feel better to start with me?”

You blinked, startled by the question. “What?”

He gave a quiet smile. “If you want to undress me first… you can. You have the choice.”

That small offer, so simple and full of meaning, unraveled something deep within you. You nodded slowly.

“I… I want to.” You said, voice barely above a whisper.

He let his hands fall to his sides. “Then I’m yours.”

Your fingers were unsteady, but he didn’t move or flinch. You slipped them beneath the folds of his robe and loosened the fastenings. He helped only when you struggled, but otherwise remained still, eyes never leaving yours.

With each layer you slipped off, the room seemed to grow warmer. He stood before you, caught in the glow of candlelight and shadow, yet nothing about him felt distant. His gaze held yours with steady patience, calm and encouraging, as if to say you could take your time. That you were safe with him.

When only the final robe remained, your hands paused, fingers brushing the fabric as you hesitated. You drew in a quiet breath, steadying yourself. Then, with slow, careful movements, you slipped it from his shoulder and the garment fell away with a soft whisper.

You weren’t prepared for how vulnerable it would feel — not for him, but for you. Heat rose to your cheeks, and your breath hitched as you took in the sight of him, exposed and unguarded before you. It was overwhelming in a way you couldn’t name, stirring something deep and unfamiliar.

He was beautiful.

His skin was pale in the soft candlelight, almost glowing. The sharp lines of his collarbone, the lean cut of his waist, the way each muscle seemed sculpted with quiet precision—it made your throat go dry. His dark hair, half-pulled back and loose around his shoulders, framed his face in a way that made him look almost otherworldly.

You didn’t dare look down further. “…You’re really pretty.” You murmured, barely louder than a breath.

He huffed a quiet, surprised laugh. “Pretty?”

You nodded, too flustered to take it back.

His expression softened, fondness flickered in his eyes as he tilted his head to the side. “Thank you.” He said, his voice tender.

He took a step closer towards you.

“Would it be alright.” He asked gently, his voice low and careful. “If I helped you with the rest?”

You swallowed. Something fluttered in your chest, a mix of shyness and the quiet weight of the moment.

Still, you nodded.

His eyes searched yours one last time for hesitation, but you gave him none. With the softest touch, his hands moved to the final layer of your robe. He untied the sash with care, never looking away from you. Slowly, reverently, he slipped the fabric from your shoulders and let it fall. His breath caught ever so slightly.

“You’re beautiful.” He said, not in a way that asked for a reaction, but like it was a truth he had been holding onto for far too long. “So incredibly beautiful.”

He brought your hand to his lips, pressing a slow, tender kiss to your fingers. Your eyes fluttered, but you stayed still. He turned your hand over and pressed his mouth to the soft inside of your wrist.

He didn’t rush. His lips followed a path up your arm, each kiss warmer than the last. Your skin tingled beneath his touch, stirred by something deeper with every gentle press. When he reached the bend of your elbow, your breath caught, and his dark eyes lifted to meet yours once more.

The heat rose in your cheeks, spreading down your neck at the intensity of his stare.

Then his mouth found your collarbone. Then the curve of your neck. You tilted your head without meaning to, your breath catching as he lingered there, lips brushing over the pulse that raced beneath your skin.

When his lips found yours again, the kiss carried more weight. It was steady, certain, filled with quiet yearning. Your hands tightened on his arms without thinking, your body reacting to the warmth of him, to the way he eased closer with quiet purpose.

When he finally pulled back, his breath was uneven, and his gaze lingered on your lips before rising to meet your eyes. There was a heat in the way he looked at you now, something raw and barely held back. His eyes searched your face like he was trying to memorize every part of it, as if wanting you was no longer something he could hide.

He leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Lie down.” He whispered, voice low, full of something quiet and deep. “Please.”

You lowered yourself onto the bed, settling against the sheets as he watched you with a gaze that made you ache.

He leaned over you slowly. His hand slid up your side, not hurried, just warm, grounding. “Tell me if anything feels wrong.” He whispered, voice low and hushed. “Or if you want to stop. You have every right.”

“I will.” You said softly, the words catching slightly as they left your lips.

His mouth moved along your neck with a deeper urgency now, each kiss leaving behind a spark that stirred something low in your belly. Then he continued down, his lips pressing into you with growing desire, tracing the line of your sternum with a heat that made your breath catch.

His hands followed the path of his lips, gliding along your sides with a gentle pressure. The faint scrape of his fingernails against your skin sent a shiver up your spine, raising goosebumps in their wake. Each motion was deliberate, as if he meant to savor every moment, every reaction, every breath you took beneath him.

Sieun pulled back slightly. His eyes were steady but carried a trace of hesitation. “I read about this once,” He said quietly, a hint of something sheepish flickering in his expression. “About how to make it good for you. I want… I want to try.”

Your heart fluttered.

You gave a small nod, your voice caught in your throat. “Okay.”

Your breath hitched as his lips traveled lower, brushing over the softness of your stomach. When he reached your thigh, the warmth of his mouth against your skin made you tense, a shiver running through you.

“You’re alright.” He whispered, gaze lifting briefly to meet yours. “Let me take care of you.”

You nodded, cheeks warm, breath trembling.

Then he leaned in, his breath hot against your inner thigh. You were confuse a second before he parted your legs completely and darted his tongue out to tasted you. A startled whimper escaped before you could stop it, and your hand flew to your mouth instinctively.

You glanced down at him, but the sight was too raw, too intimate to bear. Heat rushed to your face as you quickly looked away. Your head fell back, a soft gasp escaping your lips as warmth bloomed low in your belly, spreading through you like fire. Your back arched, chasing the sensation before you could think to stop it.

Sieun groans at your taste, his grip tightening on your thighs to stop you from closing them. It was overwhelming, yet the waves of sensation rushing through your body left your mind hazy.

His lips closed around you, and he gave a tentative, gentle suck that made your entire body shake.

“Feels okay?” He asked, voice rough.

Yes.

“It feels perfect.” You breathed, voice trembling. Your fingers curled into his hair, holding on as his mouth moved with focused care, each motion drawing out a response you couldn’t control. The pleasure built quickly, unfamiliar and overwhelming, until all you could do was cling to him as the heat between your legs deepened, impossible to ignore.

A sound tore from your lips, no longer quiet, no longer contained. You knew there were attendants outside the door, listening for proof that the marriage had been fulfilled, but the thought barely held. Each stroke of his tongue sent a rush of sensation through you, scattering reason. Whatever modesty you had left slipped from your grasp. You couldn’t hold back the cries that followed, raw and unrestrained, as your body arched toward him, lost in the pleasure he coaxed from you.

Sieun licked at you as if you were the sweetest thing he had ever tasted, his tongue flicking up and down with precise control before he took your sensitive little bundle into his mouth.

You pushed yourself up on one elbow, unable to resist the urge to look again. His usual neat hairstyle was a mess from your earlier tugging. His eyes, though soft, were filled with hunger. They met yours for a moment, and then one of the hands holding your thighs released its grip as he reached up toward you.

You clutched his hand in yours as the tension inside you snapped, a loud, breathless cry escaping as you moaned his name. Your entire body shuddered, overwhelmed by the intensity of it. Your thighs shook around him, your grip tightening like you were trying to anchor yourself to something real. Every inch of you felt alight, the pleasure sharp and consuming, rolling through you in waves that stole your breath and left you trembling. You couldn’t stop the way your hips moved, the way your body arched into the sensation, completely lost in the release he’d so patiently drawn out of you.

Sieun’s hands moved gently, steadying you as the tremors slowly eased from your body. He pressed a soft kiss to the inside of your thigh before lifting his head. His gaze found yours as he rose, dark eyes searching your face with a tenderness that made your chest tighten.

He braced himself on either side of you, careful not to put any weight on you as he hovered just above.

He cupped your face with one hand, his touch gentle. He leaned in and pressed a tender kiss to your cheek, then another to your temple. Finally, he rested his forehead against yours, your breaths mingling in the stillness between you.

You let out a breathless laugh, still trying to catch your breath. “I don’t know what kind of books you’re reading,” You murmured, your voice teasing and light. “But you should read more of them.”

Sieun blinked, clearly surprised, then laughed softly. The sound was warm and low, almost boyish. “Is that so?” He said, a smile spreading across his face.

You both giggled quietly, your foreheads still touching, the moment tender and easy. Sieun’s eyes searched yours again, gentler now, more serious. His thumb brushed lightly along your cheek as he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Are you ready?” He asked, the question tender, not rushed.

You paused for only a moment, heart fluttering. “I am.” You said softly, your voice full of quiet certainty.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and the space between you filled with warmth once more. His fingers traced your sides, your waist… His hand slid along the curve of your thigh, his touch both gentle and firm, a silent request that your body answered before your voice could. You let your legs fall open for him and he settled between them.Your breath catching as his fingers brushed over the most sensitive part of you, still sensitive from moments ago.

When he finally entered you, it was with a careful, steady push that made you gasp, your hands tightening around his shoulders. gaze. He stilled once he was fully inside you, giving you time, letting you adjust. His rhythm matched the rise and fall of your breath, each motion tender, as though he was learning you with every touch. His eyes never strayed, holding your gaze as if the rest of the world had fallen away.

The world narrowed to the feel of him inside you, the sound of his voice murmuring your name like a vow, the way your bodies met and moved in perfect sync. You clung to him, moaning into his neck as his pace quickened, each movement sending waves of sensation through you. His hand found yours and held it tightly, his grip warm and reassuring. His other hand slid along your waist, then over your ribs, holding you as if he were afraid you might vanish if he let go.

Your bodies found a rhythm, one built on trust and longing and the unspoken feelings neither of you had dared to voice. The air between you was thick with need, your moans mixing with his breath, your bodies slick. You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing him closer, deeper. He groaned at the feeling, burying his face in the curve of your neck, the sound of your name muffled against your skin.

“You’re driving me mad.” He whispered, voice breaking.

He was trembling now too. He tried to hold back, tried to stay slow for your sake, but his restraint was slipping. His movements grew faster, driven by a need he could no longer contain, each thrust deeper than the last as he clung to what control he had left.

Every kiss, every touch felt like a secret he was laying bare, something deeper than words could carry. You clutched at him, unable to stay still, your breaths turning into gasps, your lips parting with helpless, needy sounds.

Then it hit—sharp and overwhelming. You cried out his name, the sound torn from your throat as your body arched beneath him. The release came in crashing waves, leaving you trembling. Your legs wrapped tightly around him, pulling him closer as he kept moving, his thrusts growing frantic.

Sieun buried himself deep as he came, a raw sound catching in his throat as his body trembled against yours. You felt him twitch inside you, each pulse sending another wave through your already aching body. His arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you as if the world might fall away. His breath was uneven against your neck, his heartbeat pounding, his whole body pressed close like he couldn’t bear even an inch of distance.

He stayed like that for a moment, still buried inside you, his face tucked into the crook of your neck as he caught his breath. His arms didn’t loosen, and neither did your hold on him. One of his hands slowly smoothed down your side, then up again, as if grounding himself in the feel of you.

When he finally shifted to look at you, his eyes were heavy-lidded but full of something quiet and aching—something more than desire. His thumb brushed over your cheek, lingering at your jaw.

“You’re alright?” He asked, voice low and rough.

You nodded,unable to speak, throat tight with emotion. You reached up and touched his face in return, your fingers tracing along his cheekbone, then threading gently into his hair.

He leaned into your touch, eyes closing briefly before he pressed a soft kiss to your palm. Then he whispered, Let’s stay like this. Just a little longer.”

You did. Neither of you moved, wrapped in warmth, tangled in each other, the world outside forgotten.

tagg list: @niyzu @hemmosfear @stxr-lilac @sieunah @miraluvsyou @tokkitel @lili-of-the-dream @kaykay0315 @emswirls @kamiliora @poeticias

[lotus-n-l0ve]

THREADS OF AFFECTION // PART TWO

— Biker!Ryomen Sukuna x Bestfriend!Female Reader

Sometimes, The One You Need Has Always Been There.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

*⁠.⁠✧ SYNOPSIS : The next morning of everything going down with Ryle, you find solace in Sukuna's arms. After a talk with Shoko, you realise how oblivious you were and come to accept your feelings for Sukuna.

*⁠.⁠✧ WARNINGS & TAGS : Bestfriend!sukuna, biker!sukuna, cuddle, fluff, comfort, soft!sukuna, realisation, angry!shoko, university au, 3.7k words.

*⁠.⁠✧ NOTE FROM LOTUS : I'm such a sucker for soft Sukuna. This takes place the next morning after part one.

*⁠.⁠✧ — NAVIGATION // JUJUTSU KAISEN MASTERLIST

➥ THREADS OF AFFECTION : THE MONTAGE

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. MINORS DNI, IF YOU DO THEN IT'S YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

Sunlight filtered through the black blinds, casting soft rays across the apartment. You slowly stirred up to the rhythm of the heartbeat. Your head against a firm chest, Sukuna’s chest. Your bodies were tangled under the warm duvet. The room you were in was his bedroom.

How did you end up here? The last thing you remembered was crying on the couch in his living room, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from everything that had happened with Ryle. And yet, here you were now, in his bed, tangled in the sheets with Sukuna’s arm around you.

You carefully lifted your head, trying not to disturb him, but the second you did, his arm tightened around you instinctively. You held your breath as Sukuna stirred, and before you could react, his body pressed down on yours, his head nestling into the crook of your neck.

For a moment you layed there, letting yourself cocooned in the warmth of his presence. Your gaze drifts upward to the mirrored ceiling.The reflection above you was surreal-Sukuna's huge frame looming over you, his face hidden against your neck. His breath, warm and steady, brushed against your skin, sending a wave of goosebumps down your spine. It was a strange sense of peace, one that made everything else feel distant and unimportant. In that instant, you looked like a couple-like you truly belonged there, like this was where you were always meant to be.

You gently stroked the dark tattoos that adorned his hand that was draped over your belly, tracing the intricate patterns with the tips of your fingers. His skin was warm, the markings mesmerizing under your touch, each curve and line a part of him that you'd never really noticed before. It was almost as though you were discovering a different side to him, one that was quietly vulnerable in his sleep, wrapped up in the simplicity of the moment.

Sukuna's breathing deepened, his chest rising and falling in rhythm with yours. The weight of his presence was both grounding and comforting. In the silence, there was a stillness between you two, something unspoken yet deeply understood. You let your fingers linger on his hand, a small but meaningful connection.

Instinctively your fingers brushed up his arm, gliding over the black t-shirt, and then began playing with his soft hair. You stifled a laugh when you felt him purring like a contented cat, pulling you closer as if not wanting to let go. But before the moment could stretch any further, the phone on the nightstand began to ring.

As you started to shift, trying to escape the warmth of his embrace, Sukuna’s grip tightened, pulling you back to him. His voice was low and groggy, but there was something softer about it, something uncharacteristic.

“Where are you going?” He murmured, his usual dominance replaced with a tenderness that caught you off guard.

You felt at a loss for words, “Your phone is ringing.”

Sukuna’s brows frown. It would have been a cute sight if not for the circumstances. He let out a frustrated sigh. His grip on you, not loosening in the slightest.

“I don’t care about the damn phone,” He muttered, his voice still thick with sleep, “Stay here.”

You felt the warmth of his breath against your skin as he pulled you closer, his body curling protectively around you. There was something comforting in the way he held you, as if the outside world didn’t matter in this small bubble of peace he’d created around the two of you. Despite his usual tough demeanor, there was a tenderness to him now that you hadn’t expected, a gentleness that made your heart flutter in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

You hesitated, glancing at the phone again as it continued to ring, but the soft pressure of Sukuna’s arm around you was enough to make you reconsider. For once, you didn’t want to deal with the outside world either. You just wanted to stay in this moment, in this space between dreams and reality, wrapped up in the warmth of his embrace.

“Let it ring,” You whispered, your fingers gently brushing through his hair once more.

Sukuna hummed in agreement, his chest rumbling beneath your ear, “Good choice.”

You wonder how he would react after the drowsiness had faded away. Bet he would be embarrassed. The phone continued to ring for a few more times before going silent. Just as you were about to get comfortable again, your phone started ringing on your side of the nightstand. As much as you didn't want to receive the call, what if it was something important.

You reluctantly stretched your hand and grabbed the device off of the nightstand. Your fingers hovered over the phone, the name "Shoko" flashing brightly on the screen. Sukuna grumbled, his grip loosening slightly, allowing you to sit up as you answered the call. His groggy gaze followed your movements, though he stayed sprawled on the bed, his hair messily framing his face.

“Hello?” Your voice was soft, still thick with exhaustion from the night before.

“Where the hell are you?” Shoko's panicked voice burst through the line, jolting you fully awake, “Do you realize we have a History exam in an hour? And you’re just... gone? Are you okay?”

Your stomach dropped. The exam. How could you have forgotten? Everything with Ryle, Sukuna, and the emotional whirlwind had completely derailed your sense of time and priority.

“I... I completely forgot,” You admitted, your voice tinged with guilt, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Shoko sighed, her frustration bleeding into concern, “Forget the exam for a second. Are you okay? You’ve been acting off for a while now, and then you disappeared. I was worried sick!”

“I’m fine,” You assured her, though your voice wavered slightly, “I’ll explain everything later, I promise. Just... I’ll meet you at the exam venue.”

“Alright,” Shoko said reluctantly, “But if you’re not here in thirty minutes, I’m coming to find you myself. Got it?”

“Got it,” You said with a small smile.

As the call ended, you placed the phone back on the nightstand, letting out a deep breath. Sukuna had propped himself up on one elbow, his crimson eyes studying you with quiet intensity.

“Something wrong?” He asked, his voice low and rough, still laced with sleep.

“Just Shoko,” You said, standing and stretching, “We have a major exam today, and I completely forgot about it.”

Sukuna raised a brow, his gaze trailing over you as you scrambled to gather your things, “Do you even have enough time to get ready and make it there?”

“Not really,” You admitted with a sheepish smile.

He let out a deep sigh and swung his legs over the side of the bed, “I’ll take you.”

You blinked at him, surprised, “You don’t have to—”

“I said I’ll take you,” Sukuna cut you off, his tone leaving no room for argument, “You’ll never make it on time otherwise.”

Though his brusqueness was typical, there was an underlying concern in his voice that made you pause. You nodded, mumbling a soft “thank you” as you got up from the bed.

"About last night…" Sukuna's deep voice broke the silence, and you turned to look at him. He was sitting up now, more awake and sobar, his tousled hair and tired eyes making him look far more vulnerable than usual, "I... shouldn’t have said all that."

Your heart clenched at his words, unsure of what he meant, "What do you mean?"

He ran a hand through his hair, his usual confidence replaced by something you couldn’t quite place.

"I just don’t want you to feel like I pressured you into anything. You were upset, and I…" He trailed off, his jaw tightening, "I don’t want to make things weird between us."

You blinked, taken aback by his honesty. Sukuna wasn’t the type to explain himself, let alone show this kind of vulnerability.

"It’s not weird," You said quietly, though your heart betrayed you by beating a little too fast, "I mean… It was a lot to process, but I know you. You can never force me into doing something I don't want to."

Sukuna's gaze locked with yours, the intensity in his crimson eyes making it hard to look away.

"I meant what I said, though," He said, his voice firm, "I’ll always be here for you. Whatever you need, Ai."

Your breath hitched at the way he said your name, the weight behind his words making your cheeks flush. You looked down at your hands, unsure of what to say. The vulnerability between the two of you was almost suffocating, and yet it felt like something had shifted—something you weren’t quite ready to confront.

"Thank you," You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. "For everything. Last night… and now."

Sukuna let out a low chuckle, though it lacked his usual arrogance.

"Don’t mention it," He said, rubbing the back of his neck, "But seriously, if you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

The tension lingered as the two of you sat there, the weight of unspoken words filling the room. Eventually, Sukuna got up and stretched, his movements casual as if trying to break the awkwardness.

“I know.” Your words were filled with confidence……and trust.

Within minutes, you were back on Sukuna’s bike, your arms tightly wrapped around his waist as the powerful engine roared to life. The cool morning air bit at your skin, but the warmth radiating from Sukuna’s body kept you grounded. Good thing you had an extra pair of clothes in his house, so you didn't have to go back to your dorm to change.

As he sped through the city streets, cutting through traffic with precision, you couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of relief. Despite the chaos of the last 24 hours, Sukuna was here, steady and unwavering.

By the time you reached the classroom, Shoko was pacing near the entrance of the university, her expression a mix of worry and annoyance. Sukuna pulled up to the curb, and you climbed off the bike quickly, giving him a grateful look.

“Thanks, Kuna,” you said softly.

He smirked, ruffling your hair in a way that was surprisingly gentle, “Ace that exam, Ai. I’ll see you later.”

As he roared off into the distance, Shoko grabbed your arm, her sharp gaze scanning your face.

“You have so much explaining to do,” She said firmly, though her voice was softer now, tinged with relief.

“I know,” You said, giving her a small smile, “I’ll tell you everything. Just... after the exam.”

Shoko nodded, and together, the two of you headed inside, ready to tackle the challenge ahead. Though your heart still felt heavy with the events of the night before, you also felt lighter somehow. No matter what happened next, you knew you weren’t alone—and that made all the difference.

After an agonizing hour of scribbling answers on the exam paper, you and Shoko found yourselves sitting in the university cafeteria. You sip the coffee nervously under Shoko’s eagle eye that were throwing daggers in your direction, trying to process all the tea you had dumped on her.

“So you mean to tell me That little shit tried to force himself on you and you had to threaten him with Sukuna's name to let you go.” Shoko started, gritting words through her teeth, “He told you to get out of his house in the middle of the night, alone, and then called another chick to fuck?”

You nodded your head, “Pretty much.”

“Is he the reason you were acting so down? Did he force into agreeing to sleep with him? I'm gonna kill that fucker!” Shoko shot up from the chair,‌ ready for some bloodshed but you quickly held her back.

“No, don't. He's not worth wasting our time.” You pleaded as you had no doubt Shoko would actually skin him alive.

Shoko huffed and sat back down, her lips pursed, “Fine but only because you told me to and that asshole doesn't deserve even an ounce of my energy.”

You smiled faintly, feeling relieved, “Thanks, Shoko. You are the best.”

“Don't think you are off the hook.” Shoko narrowed her eyes at you, “All this still doesn't explain how you ended up in your bestfriend, Sukuna's bed.”

Her words made you groan, “You make it sound so dirty. We just fell asleep in his bed. That's it. Nothing happened.”

Shoko scoffed, “Drop that bullshit. If that was the case then why do you keep blushing like a tomato whenever you mention him?”

You genuinely had no excuses to give her. Because the truth was, something had happened. Something big. Sukuna had confessed that he liked you—no, more than liked you. The weight of that revelation still sat heavy on your chest, impossible to ignore.

Shoko studied your flustered expression, “Wait… did he finally confess his feelings for you?”

Your eyes widened at Shoko's question, but before you could say anything, she gasped dramatically, slamming her hand on the table.

Shoko slammed her hands on the table, “He did, didn't he? O my god! I have to tell Utahime. She owes me 10 bucks.”

“Shoko.” You hissed, “Keep your voice down. Also what does Utahime have anything to do with it?”

Shoko leaned back on the chair, “You see, we made a bet. I said Sukuna will confess to you before this year ends and she said he will take at least 2 more years.”

The cafeteria buzzed with life, but your focus was solely on Shoko, who looked far too pleased with herself. You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“You couldn't find anything else to bet on?” You groaned, “How did you even know that he likes me?”

“Me? The whole university knows about it. Even my cousin’s neighbour’s 3 year old daughter knows.”

Shoko's words had your jaw dropped to the floor, “What? And no one told me before?”

“I mean, it's as obvious as the sun in the sky.” She shrugged, “Sukuna’s been head over heels for you since, like, forever. He doesn’t even bother hiding it anymore. He literally calls you Ai.”

The more Shoko continued speaking, the more stupid you felt. He's been calling you ‘love’ all alone and you never questioned it or even realised. How stupid can someone be?

You groaned, slumping against the table, “He’s been calling me that for years. Are you serious right now? How did I not notice? Am I really that stupid?”

Shoko smirked, sipping her coffee like she had just won a game of poker, “Oh, sweet summer child, you’re not just stupid—you’re a master at it. Sukuna could probably hire a skywriter to spell it out, and you’d still think he was just trying to prank you.”

You narrowed your eyes on her, “Okay, that’s a bit much.”

“Is it?” Shoko raised a brow, "Remember when he beat up that guy in freshman year because he ‘breathed in your direction’? Or when he memorized your entire coffee order, down to the number of sugar packets, and started showing up with it every morning? Or—my personal favorite—when he glared at literally everyone who sat next to you during lectures until they moved?”

“Those weren’t signs!” You protested weakly, “He’s just… overprotective! And maybe a little territorial.”

Shoko nearly spat out her coffee, “A little? Girl, he once told Gojo that if he even looked at you wrong, he’d throw him out a window.”

You blinked, stunned, “Wait. When did that happen?”

“Last semester,” Shoko said casually, leaning back in her chair, “You were too busy studying for midterms to notice. But the rest of us? Oh, we noticed. It was like watching a National Geographic documentary on territorial animals.”

You buried your face in your hands again, “This is so embarrassing. How do I even face him now? I didn’t just miss the signs—I bulldozed right over them.”

“Simple.” Shoko grinned mischievously, “You go up to him and say, ‘Hey, Sukuna, I finally realized you’ve been in love with me all this time. My bad. Let’s get married.’”

You shot her a glare, “Shoko, I swear to God—”

“Relax, I’m kidding. Kind of.” She leaned forward, her expression softening slightly, “But seriously, just talk to him. The guy literally worships the ground you walk on. You’ve already got him wrapped around your finger; now it’s just a matter of admitting you’re into him too.”

You sighed, playing with your coffee cup, “It’s not that simple. What if things get weird? What if—”

“Stop overthinking,” Shoko interrupted, pointing her spoon at you like it was a weapon, “You survived last night, didn’t you? He confessed, and the world didn’t implode. In fact, judging by that ridiculous blush on your face, I’d say things are looking pretty good for you two.”

You hesitated, but a small smile tugged at your lips, “You think so?”

“I know so,” Shoko said confidently, “Now hurry up and finish that coffee. We’ve got class in ten minutes, and I’m not letting you flake just because you’re having a romantic crisis.”

You laughed despite yourself, the weight on your chest feeling just a little lighter. Maybe Shoko was right. Maybe it was time to stop overthinking and start trusting what was already so obvious to everyone else—including Sukuna.

At the end of the day, you sit in the quiet library, waiting for Sukuna to pick you up. What Shoko told you stayed in your mind. The whole day you thought about your options and your feelings. Sukuna was an important part of your life. Imagining a day where Sukuna will not be with you left a bitter taste in your mouth.

Sukuna has been there for you through everything—your highs, your lows, even the moments when you felt like the world was crumbling around you. He’d seen every part of you and never once turned away. If that wasn’t love, then what was?

You stared blankly at the book in front of you, your thoughts too chaotic to focus. The image of Sukuna’s sincere, tender expression from that night replayed in your mind. You didn’t think he was even capable of looking that soft, yet there he was, proving you wrong in the best way possible.

Your phone pinged with a notification, breaking the chain of thoughts, bringing you back to reality.

Kuna ♡ᥫ᭡.ִֶָ : Come out I'm waiting.

Even the heart beside his name, saved in the contact, seemed to be mocking you. Who saves their friend’s name with a heart? How oblivious were you? To his feelings as well as yours. You two could have been celebrating your anniversaries had you not been so oblivious.

Returning the book to the shelf, you hurried down the hallway. Your steps, faster than usual just like your heart. Crossing the front gate of the university, you see Sukuna with his bike on the side of the road. His hair damp, probably took a shower after their basketball practice and then rushed to pick you up.

You jog up to him, wearing the helmet he handed you.

“How was your exam?”

"Better than I thought," You replied, fastening the helmet under your chin.

You climbed onto the bike behind him, your arms automatically wrapping around his waist. It was a familiar action, yet today it felt different—more intimate, more charged.

Sukuna started the engine, the bike purring to life beneath you, "Good. Knew you’d ace it, like always."

The ride home was quiet except for the hum of the engine and the rush of the wind. Your mind, however, was anything but quiet. Shoko's words replayed in your head like a broken record. He literally worships the ground you walk on. The realization hit you harder than the cool wind brushing against your face.

When Sukuna finally pulled up in front of your house, you hesitated to let go, your arms lingering around his waist. He noticed, glancing back at you over his shoulder with a raised brow.

"You good, Ai?" he asked, his tone softer now, his crimson eyes scanning your face.

You nodded, but your grip tightened slightly, "Yeah… I just—"

The words caught in your throat. How could you even begin to say what you were feeling?

"Just what?" he pressed, turning off the engine and shifting slightly to face you.

You took a deep breath, willing yourself to be brave. No more overthinking. Just go for it.

You got down from the bike, deciding to stand in front of him, “Are you free tomorrow night?”

Sukuna raised an eyebrow, “Tomorrow? Yeah, why?”

Infact Sukuna was not free tomorrow night. He practically threatened his teammates, especially Gojo, into agreeing to practice till late because their match was coming up. It was an important match, against Eastwood University, their sworn enemy. But it's not like the match was more important than whatever you needed him for.

“Just keep your schedule empty tomorrow.”

Sukuna’s gaze lingered on you, curious and amused. He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the handlebars of his bike.

“Alright,” He drawled, a smirk tugging at his lips, “But you owe me an explanation, Ai. What’s this about?”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool even as your heart pounded in your chest, “You’ll see tomorrow.”

He chuckled, straightening up, “Fine. I’ll bite. But if this is one of your pranks…”

“It’s not a prank, Kuna.” You cut him off, meeting his eyes with a rare seriousness, “Just… trust me, okay?”

That wiped the smirk off his face. He tilted his head slightly, studying you like he was trying to read your thoughts. After a moment, he nodded.

“I always do.” he said softly.

His words lingered in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. You nodded quickly, breaking eye contact before your resolve could falter.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, drive safely.” you muttered, turning to head inside before he could see the blush spreading across your cheeks.

As you closed the door behind you, you leaned against it, your head spinning. You had no idea how tomorrow would go, but for once, you were determined to take the leap. Sukuna had always been there for you, and now it was your turn to take a chance on him.

You just hoped he’d be ready for what you were about to do.

LIKED IT? THEN PLEASE LEAVE A LIKE, REBLOG & COMMENT. IT WOULD MEAN A LOT AND FOLLOW ME FOR MORE LIKE THESE. THANK YOU ♡

© 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒-𝐍-𝐋𝟎𝐕𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 — all content rights belongs to LOTUS-N-L0VE. do not plagiarise any works and do not repost or translate onto any other sites.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊

[stardust-for-your-soul]

whatever might the opinion of others be, one cannot deny that in spite of being manipulated an infinite amount of times in his life—wanderer is still always willing to listen and learn.

he won't show it to you, never, but it's the way he'll act after the sermon that has one questioning.

so—

when nahida pulled him into a corner a week back, that's what she told him, raw and without a filter—'how do you expect people to think you have a heart when you act like that?' he has been in thought since, twisting and turning even on the bed as he attempts to feign sleep.

wanderer, nowadays, when in a good mood, can be quite the riddle.

it's laughable in itself, yet undeniably true for those who know his antics. it's just the way he'll smile softly and then quietly hand you a padisarah in private which is symbolic enough that he is willing to try to be more expressive.

when you get a bunch of nilotpala lotus filled in a wide bronze bowl at your steps, still fresh and dewy from where it was picked, you're questioning whose kind act must it be before wanderer's note peeks out from behind.

from: wanderer to: dumbass (you) how are you? you told me you've been meaning to go to the markets for quite a while to buy some fresh lotuses for the upcoming festival. they aren't selling good quality ones there, so you can have this. freshly picked, right from the rainforest. if you wish to thank me, then there's no need. although you may find me in the akademiya's library during the following hours. don't get hurt, and bye for now.

all of these heart-warming acts of service still don't mean he'll be verbally expressive or do anything of the sort in public, though.

nor does it mean that when he notices the visible warmth in your bond with him, then he'll say anything about it to nahida. it does mean, however, that he'll listen twice as carefully to her now.

sacrificing his own ego is something he can certainly do for the love of his life, after all.

header credits: @cafekitsune !

[star-tann]

Hi Tann! I hope you’re doing well. If I may, do you have any tips for rendering? I love how you do it. Personally my favourite artwork of yours is the Lotus dragon 🥺 so beautiful.

But ofc, feel free to decline if you find this unnecessary. Take care 💕

Absolutely!

Also, I'm sorry if this tips are bad or Not Understandable, my English is not THAT good, so I'll try my best!

(Note: This Is only for ibispaint users, I only use ibispaint so...)

Okay, so first of all: I use a special brush To Render and colour, Here's it's brush code!

This Brush isn't created by me though, it's By another artist sadly, I forgot their name. But The credit goes to them!

I use this Brush to Colour, AND render, This Brush rlly Changed my Life XD

You can just colour Your whole drawing with this Brush, Lineart included. The Lineart Basically blends with the Colour Of The Skin/object/clothing/anything! If you feel like the Lineart Practically disappeared from using this Brush, just Draw that specific Part with the Pen (Fade) brush!

Second of all: hair shading! For this, I ALSO use a brush to achieve that glassy/crystal-like texture on The characters' hairs!

Here it is!:

This also belongs to another Artist as well, I saw these on Pinterest so I dunno who made them... (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠) :(((

First, draw whatever the hell this is.

I guess it's a Base for Colouring over the hair? I dunno.

Then just Use the brush on top of it, in the same layer, just Draw On top of it with FORCE FADE it should Look like this:

After you achieve this look, time to make it a bit shiny.

Select "Add" in blending mode, use a lighter colour from the hair, And use the airbrush, shade it over where you feel like it, but not too much, it should Look similar to this:

And Just add a little Squiggly lines on top of em, in the same Layer, like this:

I also like to add a little bit of dark fade over my characters' faces.

Don't do it too much, Just From their Forehead to their Nose. and lightly. Again, not too much.

And if you want to, give the eyelids a little bit of some shine!

Its v ez, just use the Pen (fade) brush once again!

If you want To know how I render Eyes as well:

And if you want to know how I do the Dark effects on my artworks, here's how:

I use the ibispaint Filters! duplicate Your artwork, And Use The "Brightness and contrast" filter on the duplicated Layer, the Brightness Should be 80%, And the contrast should be 40%, use the Luminosity In blending mode, if you want to, Make it a bit blurry. And Lower the layer's opacity to 40%, Now that's all!

[rizumaryy]

The Lotus Flower Love Fragrance

Kaji Ren x Akeno Hana 2528 words

ーResilient Ally

The early morning light filtered through the classroom window of Fujioka High School, casting a warm glow on Akeno Hana’s desk. A soft smile played on her lips, her pink eyes sparkling as she scrolled through her phone. The usual cheerful demeanor she wore was amplified today, a quiet joy bubbling just beneath the surface.

Her friend, Hagiwara Yuka, sauntered into the classroom, her dyed blond hair with the contrasting black nape catching the light. She wore her usual varsity jacket over her uniform, a picture of relaxed confidence.

"Mornin', Hana," Hagiwara called out, dumping her bag on the desk beside Akeno. "You're practically glowing. What's got you so happy this morning? Did you finally master that tricky piano piece?"

Akeno looked up, her pink eyes sparkling. "Oh, Yuka-chan! Good morning!"

She giggled, a light, airy sound and tucked a strand of medium-long brown hair behind her ear. Her cheeks dusting pink.

"Something even better," she admitted, her voice a little soft. "Yuka-chan, I’m... dating Ren now."

Hagiwara froze for a second, her eyes widen in surprise, then her smile widening into a massive, delighted grin. "No way! Seriously?!" Before Akeno could fully answer, Hagiwara lunged, wrapping her in a fierce hug that squeezed the air out of Akeno's lungs. "Hana, that's amazing! Congrats!"

Akeno let out a surprised squeak, laughing into Hagiwara's shoulder. "Yuka-chan, you're squeezing too hard!"

Hagiwara released her, still grinning, a teasing look came into her eyes. "Ren, huh?" she noted, tilting her head. "Already dropped the 'Kaji-kun', eh? Moving fast, aren't we?"

The blush on Akeno’s face get brighter at that, she just smiled shyly instead of answering Hagiwara’s comment.

Still buzzing with excitement, Hagiwara leaned over Akeno's shoulder, peering at her phone screen. It was a simple messaging app, showing a chat thread with the contact name "Ren". "Oh! Let me see. What did he say? What was his confession like? You have to tell me everything!"

Ren: Arrived at home. Akeno: I’m glad you arrived home safely! Thanks for walking me home (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ Ren: Sure. Akeno: I had fun today! Ren: Me too.

Hagiwara blinked. Then she blinked again. A slow, amused smirk spread across her face. "Seriously? 'Sure'? 'Me too'? He's still texting like he's ordering ramen, not like he just started dating you!"

Akeno’s face flushed a deeper shade of pink. She fumbled with her phone, trying to hide the screen.

"W-Well, we just started dating. It takes time to adjust!" she stammered, avoiding Hagiwara's eyes. "Neither of us has really... experience with this kind of thing. So, it's a little... awkward sometimes."

But as she spoke, a genuine, heartfelt smile returned to her face. "Besides," she added, looking back at her phone but not really seeing the screen, "That's just how he is. Quiet. He doesn't say much, but when he does, it means a lot. And... I like that about him. It's the side of Ren I fell for."

Hagiwara watched her friend, the playful teasing fading from her expression, replaced by warmth. A soft smile mirrored Akeno's. She reached out and gently ruffled Akeno’s brown hair, her touch surprisingly tender for someone who looked like she could break bones.

"I see." she said, her voice kind. "As long as you’re happy, that's all that matters."

She paused, then her expression grew more serious, though a hint of mischief lingered in her eyes. “Speaking of your stoic boyfriend, I need to meet him. He’s not just your friend now, he’s my friend’s boyfriend."

Akeno’s eyes sparkled. “Really? You want to meet Ren?”

“Damn right I do. I need to size up the guy who’s going to be responsible for my best friend's happiness. And, you know,” Hagiwara added, adopting a mock-threatening tone, “make sure I know who to punch if he dares to make you cry.”

Akeno gasped, playfully swatting Hagiwara’s arm. “Yuka-chan! Don’t say things like that!"

Hagiwara just laughed at her adorable friend. The classroom's atmosphere, usually just quiet chatter before the bell, now held a vibrant energy thanks to Akeno's happiness and Hagiwara's boisterous laughs.

The afternoon sun cast long shadows across the Tonpuu Shopping District as Akeno and Hagiwara made their way to Akeno’s house to work on an assignment together. The familiar sounds of shopkeepers calling out, the distant hum of traffic, and the general buzz of the small town filled the air.

As they rounded a corner near a popular dango shop, Akeno's steps faltered. There they were. Kaji, Enomoto, and Kusumi, standing outside the shop, each holding a stick of mitarashi dango, the sweet, sticky glaze glistening in the light. Kaji leaned against the wall, headphones around his neck, his trademark lollipop missing and replaced with a bamboo stick from the dango he just ate. Enomoto and Kusumi also happily munching their share of dango.

Akeno's face lit up. "Ren! Enomoto-kun! Kusumi-kun!" she called out warmly, waving her hand.

The three heads turned. Enomoto's boisterous voice rang out. "Ooh! Hana-chan! Fancy meetin' ya herrrre!"

Kusumi greeted with a soft smile and a wave of his hand.

Kaji's poker face remained mostly intact, but his dark gray eyes softened almost imperceptibly when they met Akeno's. He pulled the bamboo stick from his mouth, offering a small nod in greeting.

"What are you guys doing here?" Akeno asked, stepping closer to them with Hagiwara following her a little distance away. "Patrolling?"

"Nah, patrol duty finished up a bit ago! We were just passin' through when some lowlife rrrruffians started tryin' to shake down the ol' man who rrrruns this shop!" Enomoto explains.

Akeno's brows furrowed with worry. "Oh no! Were you guys okay? Nobody got hurt, right?" Her pink eyes scanned them anxiously, checking for any scrapes or bruises.

Enomoto swatted his hand in dismissal. "Yeah! Didn't even brrrreak a sweat! Look, we even get some mitarrrashi dango as a thanks! Kikuchi herre has the best dango in Makochi!" He held up his stick proudly.

Akeno sighed in relief, a warmth spreading through her chest. This was why she admired them, why she loved this town's new protectors.

Kaji, who had been listening quietly, stepped forward slightly. He held out the last stick of dango from the plastic container the shop owner had given them and offered it to Akeno. "Here," he said simply, his voice low.

Akeno's eyes sparkled. "Oh! Can I?" The guys smiled at her and nod.

"Thank you!" She took the stick from Kaji, her fingers brushing his for a fleeting second, sending a familiar warmth through both of them. The simple gesture made her heart flutter. She was about to take a bite when she remembered Hagiwara standing behind her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, turning to her friend. "Yuka-chan, I'm sorry!" She held the dango out to Hagiwara. "Do you want some?"

Hagiwara smiled kindly at Akeno. "Nah, it's okay. You enjoy it." Her smile faded as she turned her attention back to Kaji.

“Oh no, I almost forgot!" Akeno turn to the guys and start to introduce Hagiwara.

"Ren, Enomoto-kun, Kusumi-kun, this is my best friend, Hagiwara Yuka. Yuka-chan, this is Kaji Ren, and these are his friends, Enomoto Takeshi and Kusumi Yuto."

Enomoto gave a nod. "It’s nice to meet ya."

Kusumi gave a slight bow and smile while Kaji gave an acknowledging nod.

Hagiwara stepped forward, giving a slight nod. "Nice to meet you guys. Hana talks a lot about you." She looked from Enomoto's bold demeanor to Kusumi's silent smile, and finally, her gaze settled on Kaji.

She looked him up and down, a silent, assessing gaze that seemed to take in his height, his build, the set of his jaw, even the almost imperceptible flicker of surprise in his gray eyes. It wasn't hostile, not exactly, but it was definitely... judging.

Kaji felt the unusual scrutiny. He wasn't used to people staring at him quite like this unless they were about to run away or pick a fight. He raised an eyebrow, a silent question. "What do you want?" he finally asked, his voice low and even.

Enomoto and Kusumi exchanged nervous glances behind him, noticed the slight shift of tension between them. They'd heard about Hagiwara from Akeno – 'that yankee girl who's Hana-chan's best friend'. They didn’t want to doubt Akeno’s choice of friend, but they don’t know what Hagiwara will do.

Hagiwara’s mouth curved into that familiar smirk, the one that promised both amusement and trouble. "Nah, nothing wrong," she said casually, her voice cool and measured, a stark contrast to Akeno's gentle tone. "Just nice to finally see the person I need to punch one day, in person."

Silence fell over the group. The cheerful street noise seemed to fade away.

Kaji pull out the bamboo stick from his mouth, his hand tightened almost imperceptibly around it. “Ha?”

His eyebrows furrowed. Kaji’s usual poker face cracking as his internal composure rattled. He wasn't expecting that.

"Yuka-chan! I told you not to say that!" Akeno scrambled to intervene, looking mortified.

Hagiwara ignored her best friend, gaze fixed on Kaji. "Don't be naive," she continued, her tone serious now, the playful edge gone. "With your life, running around with Bofurin, getting into fights... you're going to make Hana cry eventually. It's just how it is."

Kaji remained silent, but the irritation now obvious on his usually stoic face. He reached a hand into his pocket, fishing a fresh lollipop out of his pocket. His fingers fumbled slightly as he ripped open the wrapper, the small frustration helping tether his immediate anger. He popped the sweet into his mouth, his jaw working slowly as he tried to calm his anger down. Processing Hagiwara's blunt words and the implications they carried.

Enomoto and Kusumi shifted, their postures subtly changing, ready to step in if Kaji's quick temper ignited. They knew their Captain wasn't one to back down from a challenge, but this wasn't a fight with some punk; this was about Akeno.

The silence stretched, heavy with expectation. Akeno worriedly glanced between Kaji and Hagiwara.

Kaji drew a slow breath, letting the sugary sweetness soothe the edge of his temper. Finally, he spoke, voice still quiet, the lollipop moving as he talked.

"It's true," he said, surprising everyone. He didn't look away from Hagiwara, but his thoughts seemed directed inward. "She’s a little bit of a crybaby after all."

Akeno let out a small, indignant sound of protest from behind Hagiwara. "Hey!"

Kaji continued, his voice gaining a touch more depth. "She'll cry for me, yeah. Worrying about me, worrying about them." He gestured vaguely towards Enomoto and Kusumi. "Can't help that."

He paused, his gray eyes finally flickering towards Akeno before meeting Hagiwara's gaze again. "But I won't make her cry because I hurt her. Not directly, anyway."

His voice grew softer, almost private, even though others were listening. "I already promised myself," he said, the words steady and sincere, "that I'd protect her. And make her happy. As best as I can."

Another silence fell. This one wasn't tense, but charged with emotion. Everyone processed Kaji's quiet declaration.

After the words left his mouth, Kaji finally registered how open and direct he had been. His own face slowly flushed into furious red that contrasted sharply with his platinum hair. He quickly looked away, focusing intensely on his lollipop. He hadn't meant to say it quite like that, quite so... openly. It felt incredibly awkward, incredibly personal, spoken out loud in front of others.

Behind Hagiwara, Akeno's face was scarlet. Her pink eyes wide, she stared at Kaji, her heart hammering against her ribs. His words echoed in her mind; a promise whispered under the afternoon sun. She felt a wave of sudden, overwhelming shyness crash over her, mirroring his. Her head dropping slightly as she fiddled with the dango skewer in her hand. Both of them acutely aware of the presence of their friends, and intensely, utterly shy about the raw vulnerability they had just displayed.

Enomoto and Kusumi exchanged a glance, a silent conversation passing between the two Vice-Captains. A shared, knowing smile bloomed on their faces.

Hagiwara watched Kaji and Akeno's reactions, the stark, genuine blush painting their faces. After a moment of processing, she suddenly stepped forward. Without warning, she slapped Kaji firmly on the back.

Whack!

"Gah!" Kaji grunt, stumbling forward a step, the lollipop almost falling out of his mouth. He winced, rubbing his back. "What the hell was that for?!"

He straightened up, wincing slightly, a strange feeling of deja vu washing over him. Hadn't someone else done something similar to him before...?

"Not bad, Kaji! You're actually a cool guy!" Hagiwara grinned brightly this time, a completely different expression than before.

"But!" Hagiwara continued, maintaining her bright smile, "you're not taking all the glory for protecting Hana. She's my best friend. I'll be the one doing most of the protecting! You guys went to different school anyway."

Before Kaji could fully recover, Enomoto cut in, puffing out his chest again. "Hey! Don't forrget 'bout us! Hana-chan's ourrr friend too! We will also prrrrotect her!"

Kusumi immediately nodded in agreement, quickly typing on his phone. He held it up, the text clear:

📢 That's right! And everyone in Tamon Unit too! We all will protect Hana-chan! 🛡️

"Damn rrright!" Enomoto nodded vigorously.

Suddenly, the atmosphere shifted entirely. The tension evaporated, replaced by a flurry of competitive declarations. A playful argument erupted between the three about who was the most equipped or the most dedicated to protecting Akeno.

Kaji, still rubbing his back, watched his Vice-Captains and Hagiwara loudly and enthusiastically stake their claims on protecting Akeno. He couldn't help but feel a little cornered, but also... something else. A strange warmth spread through him, not from the blush this time, but from seeing the people he cared about connecting like this, all united by their care for Akeno.

Akeno, initially flustered by Kaji's confession and Hagiwara's antics, now just watched her friends with a wide, happy smile. She started to laugh, a clear, joyful sound that cut through the competitive banter.

"Everyone, thank you!" She squeals and throw herself on his friends, forcing them into a group hug. "I love you guys soooo much!!"

Her laughter and her genuine happiness seemed to diffuse the competitive energy. Enomoto grinned sheepishly, Kusumi lowered his phone but kept smiling, and Hagiwara simply laughs.

Kaji looked at Akeno, her face bright with pure happiness, surrounded by people who genuinely cared for her. His gaze softened. He adjusted his headphones, a faint trace of a smile touching his lips.

Maybe Hagiwara was right. Maybe his life would make Akeno worry. But seeing her like this, laughing because their friends were arguing about who got to protect her the most... that was a good feeling. And he knew, without a doubt, that he wanted to be a part of making her smile like that, every single day. The shyness was still there, a gentle flutter in his chest, but it was overlaid with a quiet, determined resolve. He'd protect that smile, no matter what.

Wait.

Isn't he the only one who missed out on a hug from Hana?

[eleanorfenyx]

I have finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and here are some of my thoughts! (Obviously not spoiler free)

The cases are absolutely batshit insane and I loved it every single time they were like 'we totally collected this evidence that incriminates a secret suspect, just believe us and also don't question when the fuck we had the time to do this or when we figured out that we needed to look for it'. 10/10 no notes, that's a hilarious way to have a genius detective. Show us nothing, tell us everything, YES king.

That being said, I could have done with a lot less standing around having the supporting cast repeat whatever Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing announce, maybe in an attempt to make sure their genius is clear for the audience? I get it, but at the same time it felt a little too hand-holdy for me, especially in scenes where LLH and FDB had already discussed their findings between themselves before presenting them to the concerned bystanders. I can read between the lines (or else understand what has just been explicitly stated) without having every conclusion filtered through a slightly different sentence structure to make sure I got it.

Di Feisheng amnesia arc my fuckin beloved

Di Feisheng destroying his 'father' and freeing everyone in Di manor in a vicious act of catharsis that tied nicely into the main Nanyin bug-mind-control-thing narrative my beloved

Di Feisheng my beloved

The amount of times I was like...genuinely surprised he and Li Lianhua didn't kiss is both embarrassing (because I do in fact understand censorship and what I sign up for with these dramas and yet and yet) and numerous enough that I could...possibly...theoretically..write a 5+1 fic of every time I want them to kiss about it. No one hold me to that but it's something I think I'd like to do.

Re: the above point: because what the FUCK was that ending?!!! EXCUSE ME?! I gotta FIX THAT SHIT.

There will come a day when the strength of my hope for an unambiguously happy ending in a queer(-coded? is the source originally bl or is this its own thing?) wuxia drama is rewarded....but it is not this day. I must fix this myself.

Jiao Liqiao's laugh is one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I was reaaaaally hoping someone would just up and stab her during one of her little evil laughing fits. At one point I was shouting "KILL HER, KILL HER" at my screen because I could NOT take anymore of her (unfortunately, I did in fact have to take more of her).

I still think her insistence on being obsessed with DFS is hysterical when he is so VISIBLY only interested in LLH. Explicitly STATES that his only life purpose is to fuck fight LLH again. Babygirl (derogatory) he is so fucking gay let's get you a nice knife to the gut instead, okay?

I thought the whole Shan Gudao plot was interesting, going from looking desperately for his body -> putting him to rest -> hunting for his murderer -> finding out he's alive/the mastermind behind everything going wrong (which I was proud of myself for realizing before the reveal, I'm normally bad at that) -> thwarting him with sass and superior martial arts at every possible turn -> killing him stone fuckin dead with beginner level skills because he's so up his own hole he can't see that's what's happening - was really fun!

He also has a SUPER annoying laugh he can fuck off

OH OH OH MARTIAL ARTS SKILL OF TRANS YOUR GENDER?! I MARRIED HER SO HER AFFAIRS ARE MY BUSINESS NOT YOURS??? ASKING YOUR WIFE FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LAY DYING AND SHE GIVES IT TO YOU?????? OKAYYYYYYY

The twist at the end that LLH is the one with royal blood was so funny to me. Like it's a good twist and I love that Shan Gudao was just quite literally always a fuckin try-hard loser in ways he didn't even know, but also it was SO funny. Granny coming in clutch at the last fuckin minute with secret knowledge she just literally never shared.

LLH is such a smooth motherfucker. Shame about his insistence on dying when quite literally everyone (bar the people who suck) is begging this man to just live. Just LIVE DAMN IT!!!!! I really liked it when FDB begs him to just consider his own life as important for ONCE and remember that people care about him because YES his self-sacrificing and committment to Chilling Out Farmer Style was not the mercy he thought it was!

LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH DI FEISHENG YOU DAMN IDIOT (the likelihood of me resisting the urge to write at least the one fic for them is zero to none)

Unironically love spitting up blood as a plot device and this show is no different. The Drama. The Panache. The desperation of everyone around you because you have BLOOD coming out of your MOUTH and you are FAINTING. Poison acting up? Spit blood. Someone bitch slap you with their magical palm ability? Spit blood. Get stressed? Spit blood. Get stabbed? Spit blood. It's always good!

Okay I think that might be all I've got for now, if I think of anything else I'll add them in a reblog. I thoroughly enjoyed it, would definitely recommend!

[qnewsau]

The White Lotus shocks with brothers' creepiest scene yet

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/the-white-lotus-shocks-with-brothers-creepiest-scene-yet/

The White Lotus shocks with brothers' creepiest scene yet

On Monday’s The White Lotus, the new ensemble of holidaymakers in Thailand finally made it to the Full Moon Party and… wait, did he just kiss his own brother?

Season three of Mike White’s HBO series is now five episodes in as we follow the group, including the Ratliff family, during their stay at the titular Thailand resort.

After father Timothy Ratliff accidentally flashed his own family last week, his downward spiral is escalating in a very serious way.

Meanwhile, ever since the premiere episode’s very uncomfortable nude scene between Saxon Ratliff (Patrick Schwarzenegger) and his little brother Lochlan Ratliff (Sam Nivola), there’s been an unsettling dynamic between the pair, as well as their sister Piper.

In episode five, Lochlan kisses Saxon while both are on a drug-fuelled bender, urged on in a drinking game by Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) and Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon), in the brothers’ creepiest scene yet.

pic.twitter.com/oE4YG2LaJo

— out of context the white lotus (@oocwhitelotus) March 17, 2025

‘Always more than meets the eye’

Actors Patrick Schwarzenegger and Sam Nivola broke down the scene, speaking to The Hollywood Reporter.

“If you watch the other seasons, you have an idea of what Mike White’s looking for,” Schwarzenegger told The Hollywood Reporter about the scene.

“I remember the first time he told me what he was looking for with this role, how he wanted him to be this kind of douchebag that was so ridiculous, so without a filter. But also really funny and charismatic — that you loved to hate him, but you also kind of love him.”

Schwarzenegger explained Lochlan kissing Saxon only complicates things further.

“There’s always more than what meets the eye of the shock value on screen,” he said.

Actor Sam Nivola, who plays Lochlan, agrees about the importance of this moment.

“He’s just an incredibly insecure guy, a real people pleaser who needs something from the people,” he tells THR.

“He’s not very self-sufficient, he needs love and support from the people around him in his life, and I think he’s willing to go to all the lengths to find the people he loves.

“There’s a push and pull between sex, and then Piper trying to control his future.

“But for me? I don’t think Lochlan really gives a shit which path he goes down. I think it’s more that he’s going to choose whichever path feels like it’s with the person who loves him the most.”

But fans agree that the entire episode was a particularly White Lotus-y episode of The White Lotus.

Lochlan and Saxon proving us right?? #TheWhiteLotus #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/bntBLgqePH

— Christine Galea (@chrisgalea) March 17, 2025

lochlan going in for a second longer kiss with saxon… #TheWhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/sptEE1jnnz

— jolt (@meltborne) March 17, 2025

The little one was a LITTLE too into that kiss girl #whitelotus pic.twitter.com/xMLELlz4Ek

— pain au abomination (@ihateredonions) March 17, 2025

WHY ARE THE TWO BROTHERS HAVING AN INCEST MAKEOUT SESH #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/NfzWPK3xFW

— imani ☁️ (@fantasizemafia) March 17, 2025

Dad going to prison, mom addicted to pills, oldest son an excessively horny passport bro, and younger son closeted and obsessed with the older brother. Oh Piper sister I’m so sorry #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/4o6GDvzyvs

— JP (@justinnalexx) March 10, 2025

That was the most chaotic, stressful hour of television. No notes. #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/2sew8HDyBQ

— Jeremy Baratheon (@jermlikespie) March 17, 2025

Today was the most white lotus episode of white lotus. 10/10 that was my reaction every scene: #WhiteLotus3 #WhiteLotus pic.twitter.com/qqv5hDjZRr

— hugo (@hugoleosa) March 17, 2025

The White Lotus is streaming in Australia on Binge.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[eelhound]

"'Outside my window

it keeps reciting itself —

the snowflake sutra.'

- Jan Häll

Although written texts are venerated by all major spiritual traditions, literacy itself may be at the bottom of our current ecological crisis. Beginning roughly 5,500 years ago, the movement from oral to written culture led human beings to adopt increasingly abstract, disembodied ways of thinking that reinforced their feelings of separation from nature.

The anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss saw the problem clearly in 1974. In Myth and Meaning, he observed that the difference between societies with writing and those without written language was that the former wrote almost entirely about themselves, while the latter, so-called 'primitive' people, had a vast oral lore about plants and animals, landscape and weather, and all other aspects of the natural world.

Preliterate cultures were not anthropocentric. In fact, the earliest cave art — from Lascaux to Chauvet — is almost entirely devoid of human forms. The first 'sutras' were not texts at all, but the closely observed, lovingly rendered shapes of mammoths and woolly rhinos, lions, bison, and bears.

The best of season haiku for Winter 2023 invites us to reenter a world in which wisdom, though bypassing the inherently anthropocentric filter of written language, is once more rooted in our direct, sensual experience of the world around us. At home in his native Stockholm, the poet watches snowflakes falling ceaselessly outside his window. The very silence of that falling seems to demand that he enter more deeply into communion with them, listening with the eye rather than the ear.

In some schools of Buddhism, a sutra is seen as more than a sacred text. For instance, the Lotus Sutra is regarded by Nichiren Buddhists as 'the Entity of the Mystic Law.' Those who chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, the title of that sutra, unite with a universal life force that animates all things from within. Even the weather.

The poet could have described his snowflakes in terms of writing, given that he compares them to a sutra. But he makes a special point of not doing that. The snowflakes are reciting the sutra. More than that, they are the sutra.

It is a remarkably simple poem. As the snowflakes fall, covering the city on a winter day, the poet imagines them ceaselessly reciting the sutra of themselves. Or maybe he doesn't imagine that. Maybe he witnesses it — and, in so doing, unites with the Snowflakes of the Mystic Law.

It is worth noting the poet's artistry in the second line of the haiku: 'it keeps reciting itself.' [Snowflake] suggests a feeling of delicate, soundless beauty. And yet, taken as a whole, the poem conveys a feeling of tremendous cumulative power. The 'snowflake sutra' is a storm."

- Clark Strand, from "The Snowflake Sutra." Tricycle, Winter 2023.

[another-dra-anew]

Jist a reminder to Hydrate before you Diedrate (unlike about half the class, who is dead).

VERY good advice from anon. i appreciate the reminder <3.. using this as an opportunity to rate different things i drink while i write.

1- Water. a great choice, but the water filter at my house is Really slow, and im really impatient, so my water bottle runs out pretty quickly. 8/10

2- Pomegranate-Cherry Juice. another solid choice, but it takes me like a week to go through 16 oz for NO good reason, which means i usually have a second drink with it, which is kinda ineffective. 7/10

3- Cherry-Vanilla-White Chocolate iced latte. heaven sent, i missed her while i was away from home. she's as beautiful as the day i lost her. 10/10

4- Caramel-Vanilla Bean blended latte. let me down a bit, i'll be honest... she got a bit less beautiful while i was gone. 7/10.

5- Eggnog-Chai mix. trying new things is good, but why did we get the Biggest bottle the store had of eggnog. if it wasn't for the fact im the best person ever, i would not be using my beloved chai concentrate to dilute the eggnog down so i can help go through it. not Horrible but i wont miss her when the bottles gone. 5/10

6- Energy Drinks (assorted). yummy taste, Always makes my stomach curl in on itself in pain. i think it needs to toughen up, but energy drinks arent as good as iced lattes, so its no huge loss. 6/1-

7-Specifically Lotus energy drinks. always so good to me, always so hard to find a place w them. theres none near where i live and my parents loaned my car out while i was gone so im kinda screwed over. ill continue to dream of her. 8/10

8- Hot Chai. such a beloved drink but ive already been sleeping sooo much lately and she's not helping. would rank higher, but for writing purposes? 7/10

9- Arizona Iced Tea. worth noting i like raspberry and lemon flavors, not that it matters, but i wanted to share my recommendations. good, but for some reason they remind me of the tumblr post of someone almost drinking a beer can that got left out, then deciding to dump it out, and realizing there was a spider inside. 7/10.

honorable mention to the ginger-citron tea i got, which i havent tried yet, but which im excited for. i need more hot drinks in my life.

maybe now that ive posted this, i'll go answer the ask i got over a year ago asking abt the kids favorite drinks. if i can find an ouijia board, maybe i'll do that...

[aceinthetrap]

2025 drama watching tracker:

COMPLETED:

The Legend of Shen Li (2024) 🇨🇳

Solo Leveling S1 (2024) 🇯🇵

Perfect Match (2025) 🇨🇳

Nezha (2019 film) 🇨🇳

You Are My Secret (2024) 🇨🇳

Ski Into Love (2025) 🇨🇳

Blossom (2024) 🇨🇳

The First Frost (2025) 🇨🇳

Nezha 2 (2025 film) 🇨🇳

Solo Leveling S2 (2025) 🇯🇵

Mystery to Iunakare SP (2023) 🇯🇵

Don't Call It Mystery: The Movie (2023) 🇯🇵

ONGOING:

Story of Kunning Palace (2023) 🇨🇳 11-12/38

Wonderland of Love (2023) 🇨🇳 28/40

The Double (2024) 🇨🇳 23-24/36

Riverside Code at Qingming Festival (2024) 🇨🇳 1-2/26

Guardians of the Dafeng (2024) 🇨🇳 7-8/40

The Apothecary Diaries S2 (2025) 🇯🇵 41

My Happy Marriage S2 (2025) 🇯🇵 14

I Am Nobody (2023) 🇨🇳 7-8/27

Dashing Youth (2024) 🇨🇳 11-22/40

The Love You Give Me (2023) 🇨🇳 13-14/28

In Blossom (2024) 🇨🇳 11-12/32

Sword and Fairy 6 (2024) 🇨🇳 19-20/36

Ripe Town (2023) 🇨🇳 5-6/12

Destined (2023) 🇨🇳 1-2/40

A Journey To Love (2023) 🇨🇳 2-4/40

Men In Love (2024) 🇨🇳 1-2/40

The Best Thing (2025) 🇨🇳 7-10/28

The Blossoming Love (2025) 🇨🇳 1-2/40

A Moment But Forever (2025) 🇨🇳 5-8/36

Love in Pavilion (2025) 🇨🇳 17-20/36

A Calm Sea and Beautiful Days With You (2025) 🇯🇵 3/10 (ugh the subs are awful!)

Legend of Zang Hai (2025) 🇨🇳 2/40

The Litchi Road (2025) 🇨🇳 5/35

TBW:

Be Your Own Light (2023) 🇨🇳

Moon in the Day (2023) 🇰🇷

Tell Me That You Love Me (2023) 🇰🇷

Derailment (2023) 🇨🇳

Spy x Family S2 (2023) 🇯🇵

Eternal Brotherhood (2024) & S2 (2025) 🇨🇳

Best Choice Ever (2024) 🇨🇳

Pegasus (2024) 🇨🇳

Meet Yourself (2023) 🇨🇳

Will Love in Spring (2024) 🇨🇳

Queen of Tears (2024) 🇰🇷

Lovely Runner (2024) 🇰🇷

Dreaming of a Freaking Fairytale (2024) 🇰🇷

The Prisoner of Beauty, Melody of Golden Age, Youthful Glory (2025) 🇨🇳

(maybe) The Story of Park's Marriage Contract, Twinkling Watermelon, The Matchmakers, The Furthest Distance, Blooming, Crash, Burning Flames, My Wife's Double Life, Hard to Find, The Spirealm, Thousand Autumns, Link Click, Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2, When the Phone Rings, The First Shot

SKIPPED TO FINALE/DROPPED:

Judge Dee's Mystery (2024), Lost You Forever (2023), Filter (2025), Fox Spirit Matchmaker: Red Moon Pact (2024), The Beginning After the End (2025)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2024

COMPLETED:

The Story of Minglan (2018) 🇨🇳

Once Upon a Crime (2023 film) 🇯🇵

Joy of Life 2 (2024) 🇨🇳

The Apothecary Diaries S1 (2023) 🇯🇵

Exhuma (2024 film) 🇰🇷

Heaven Official's Blessing S2 (2023) 🇨🇳

The Princess Royal (2024) 🇨🇳

Love Game in Eastern Fantasy (2024) 🇨🇳

Perfect Marriage Revenge (2023) 🇰🇷

My Happy Marriage S1 (2023) 🇯🇵

SKIPPED TO FINALE/DROPPED

Castaway Diva (2023) 🇰🇷

_________________________________

2023

COMPLETED:

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble (2023) 🇹🇼

When a Snail Falls in Love (2016) 🇨🇳

Under the Microscope (2023) 🇨🇳

An Ancient Love Song (2023) 🇨🇳

When I Fly Towards You (2023) 🇨🇳

The Starry Love (2023) 🇨🇳

A League of Nobleman (2023) 🇨🇳

See You In My 19th Life (2023) 🇰🇷

My Happy Marriage (2023 film) 🇯🇵

Jujutsu Kaisen S1 (2020) 🇯🇵

Butterflied Lover (2023) 🇨🇳

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) 🇨🇳

My Journey To You (2023) 🇨🇳

Moving (2023) 🇰🇷

Tsurune S2 (2022) 🇯🇵

ONGOING:

Here We Meet Again (2023) 🇨🇳

Someday or One Day (2019) 🇹🇼

Kotaro Lives Alone (2022) 🇯🇵

Skip and Loafer (2023) 🇯🇵

The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting (2022)🇯🇵

Jujutsu Kaisen S2 (2023) 🇯🇵

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces (2023) 🇯🇵

Love You Seven Times (2023) 🇨🇳

TO BE CONTINUED:

Nothing But You, Romance of a Twin Flower, Three-Body, She and Her Perfect Husband, Warm on a Cold Night, Never Give Up, Unchained Love, The Silence of the Monster, Mr. Bad, Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty, Little Women, Crash Course in Romance, My Liberation Notes, Our Blooming Youth, Gudetama, Tomo-chan is a Girl!, My Bargain Queen, Wulin Heroes

TBW:

Wanru's Journey, Pledge of Allegiance, Dong Lan Xue, An Actor's Rhapsody, Let's Meet Now, Exclusive Fairytale, Young Blood S2, My Lovely Liar, Blooming

SKIPPED TO FINALE:

Ousama ni Sasagu Kusuriyubi (2023) 🇯🇵, Back From the Brink (2023) 🇨🇳

DROPPED:

A Dream of Splendor, Light Chaser Rescue

[innerhealinggratitude]

Inner Peace Calm Music Dreams of China | Meditation Positive Energy #innerpeace #dreamsofchina  #meditation - Close your eyes and step into a dream woven with serenity, where the essence of ancient China whispers through the air.

Soft, flowing melodies embrace you like a gentle breeze, carrying echoes of distant landscapes. The delicate sounds, the tender notes of  flute, and the soothing resonance of traditional instruments merge into a harmonious dance of calm and tranquility. Each note invites you to let go, to breathe deeply, and to enter a sacred space of peace.

Imagine yourself in a peaceful place, where the sunlight filters through the emerald leaves, casting delicate shadows on the ground. The air is crisp, filled with the scent of fresh earth and blooming lotus flowers. In the distance, the slow chime of a temple bell resonates, a quiet call to presence and mindfulness.

With each step, the stillness grows deeper. The gentle murmur of a river flows nearby, its water clear and pure, reflecting the sky above. The flute’s melody rises like a bird taking flight, guiding you inward, toward the quiet sanctuary of your soul. The music, like an invisible thread, weaves together the beauty of tradition and the softness of the present moment, creating a space where time slows down and peace becomes tangible.

Let yourself drift, weightless and free, as if floating on a tranquil lake under the glow of the moon. The sounds of nature blend seamlessly with the melodies, echoing the harmony between the earth, the sky, and the spirit. The world outside fades, leaving only the stillness within—a vast, open space of calm where thoughts dissolve like mist in the morning light.

Breathe in deeply. Feel the warmth of the music wrapping around you, dissolving tension, releasing all burdens. Each note is a whisper of peace, a delicate touch upon your heart, inviting you to surrender to the beauty of the present moment.

This music is an invitation to reconnect with yourself, to embrace the silence between each note, to feel the energy of life flowing effortlessly through you. Whether for meditation, relaxation, or simple contemplation, let these sounds be your guide to a deeper state of inner harmony.

Allow your mind to settle like still water. Let your heart open like a lotus unfurling under the first light of dawn. There is nothing to do, nowhere to be—only this moment, pure and infinite, where peace unfolds in gentle waves.

Stay here for as long as you need. Let the melodies carry you to a place where time ceases to exist, where only the rhythm of your breath and the softness of the flute remain. In this space of stillness, you are free. You are at peace. You are free. - #peaceful #positiveenergy #innerhealing #meditationmusic #healingfrequencymusic #relaxingmusicforstressrelief #meditationmusicrelaxmindbody #soothingmusicforrelaxing #positiveenergy #musicforrelaxationandstressrelief #musicforsleepinganddeeprelaxation #calmmusicforpeaceandrelaxation

[stiricidewrites]

All the Things We’ll Leave Behind: ch 41, pt 14

End of the chapter, ft some relatively mild lwj x jzxuan content.

Previously

~

In the meantime, they needed to get clean. The mud from their horrible escape route—not that lwj wasn’t grateful to be gone from that terrible event—was beginning to itch. The last thing any of them needed was to get an infection from that water.

Actually, should they be worried about brain eating amoebas?

Suppressing a shudder, lwj unlocked the door to their room. As far as hotel rooms went, this was one of the more rustic ones he’d even stayed at, but that didn’t mean much, considering his uncle generally booked penthouse suites.

Two beds—lwj made an immediate note to make sure the bedding of both had been tousled before they left, lest the maid realize two alphas hadn’t slept in two beds—four bedside tables, complete with a lamp each. Landline and alarm clock. TV set above a useless cabinet. No desk.

To the side, the bathroom was half out in the open—sinks and vanity—and half in a separate room—toilet and shower. It was… rather small. There was however another door, and the so-called selling point of the room.

“Ooh~ this is cool!” jzxuan said as he pushed into the outdoor shower.

It wasn’t really outdoors, per se, the walls simply didn’t reach all the way to the roof, leaving about a foot of the sky visible above the 10 or so foot walls. The outdoor shower was bigger than the indoor one, however, and lwj could see several filters set into the roof, which would absorb most scents—save from perhaps a shared heat-rut—so as to not disturb other guests.

jzxuan giggled as lwj pressed him into the shower. “ZhanZhan~” he laughed, turning and smiling up at lwj. “So aggressive!”

lwj hummed and clasped his lips over his friend’s even as he pushed him back until the other alpha was bumping up against the shower wall. “Yes,” was all he said before he was pulling back and stripping off the dirty shirt he had borrowed from Lu Ming. “I have been thinking about this all day.” It had, at times, been relatively difficult to keep himself from spurting aroused scent all through the event. Now, lwj let that scent rip free, eyes dilating as jzxuan bit his lip and pressed his hips forward into lwj’s, their quickly hardening dicks grinding against each other.

“You’ve been thinking of sexing me up while I’m filthy all day?” jzxuan laughed, although his own scent was rising up to meet lwj’s.

“Maybe,” lwj said, leaning in to swallow jzxuan’s laughter, even as a small part of him clenched in sadness.

Neither of them had phones, which meant wwx couldn’t be here—couldn’t even receive a silly photo of them for his later enjoyment.

It was fine—wwx had told them to have fun—but at the same time, it felt like part of their group was missing. That… was sad and strange and lwj couldn’t wait to see how this thing between them would work, once wwx was back in Lotus Pier, even as his heart clenched with more apprehension.

Hopefully, however things ended up, they’d all be happy with it.

[itsmelloww]

Spotify Wrapped????????????????Stats????

??????????????????

I have so many questions -- I know people are already complaining about it so I am not nec trying to join the bandwagon , I just OBJECTIVELY want to talk about my stats and experience cause ???????

Exposing myself here real quick, guys I like background music, I write a lot also so I need a good vibe set so i listen to a lot of ambience/liminal/drone music, i mean i LOVE it. And this year I explored a lot and got super hooked on it.

Lets start with top artists real quick:

Top artist being REPULSIVE -- 100% ; 'homesick' album was recommended to me on spotify one random day early in the year and the cover horrified me so i listened to it as a joke; come to find out it would become my year-long obsession, i love this album, i love the horror vibes, i love the nostalgic feel of the two 'soft' songs - no doubt there, this is mine, my legacy and I am PROUD of it

few more names from there, One Heart, Leapyear and Willix - 100% also, totally believable so far so good --

But then Skinny Jones??

Listen, Skinny Jones has been my top artist for the past 2-3 years - lOve love love them ; but not this year. This year ive been in my ambience , liminal bag, okay. And I LOVE Skinny Jones' music so I would KNOW if I listened to him this year or not -

And Matter of fact, where's Zerofuturism????

I streamed the CRAP out of the Lotus album, I legit would put this on and then write for hours ('Cobalt Core' track couldn't catch a BREAK), like HOW did Skinny Jones make the list but not Zerofuturism??? And then I've been also streaming excessively the White Marble Album as of late too, how did this all not count in stats??

But then we move onto songs??

Just real quick before I get into it --- WTF is 'Frutiger Aero Abstract K-Rap' ???????? Hello?

Idk if anyone reading this knows of Don Mills and Deepflow but these guys are hardcore boom bap vibes ok, WHERE DID THE FRUTIGER AERO COME FROM.

Anyways back to the point ---------------

I'd argue I've streamed 'homesick' WAY more than 'lullaby' but hell, i just put on songs and let them play, who knows how long i streamed what - 'This Feeling' is also valid

But WHERE DID 'TAKE MY HEART' SNEAK IN FROM??

LOOOOVEE Absolute Terror (the artist of the song) and 'Take my Heart' is my FAVOURITE, in the past 1-2 years its been on my top ; BUT I can guarantee you I maybe played it like... 6 times this year though. AND IF. So how on earth did it make it on the list???

Thing is with me you can see patterns as well in my listening habbits - Absolute Terror and Skinny Jones kinda give me similar music vibes one does kinda drift phonk, the other a mix of hiphop and trap perhaps , both genres i was super into in previous years but this year didnt touch me at all.

And im sorry but i wouldnt expect stats from previous years to bleed into THIS year's stats -- I've worked with data before guys, it's not a difficult thing to filter things out.

But then also -- Actually, let's assess the biggest offendors:

1. WHERE is Zerofuturism (as mentioned)

2. WHERE IS EVERYST !????

I listened to SO MUCH EVERYST THIS YEAR - Specifically 'Save Yourself' , think i melted that track

COMPARATIVELY !! Like I can't accept Skinny Jones and Absolute Terror appearing in this year's list when Zerofuturism and Everyst are missing with 'Cobalt Core' and 'Save Yourself' respectively.

-----------------

Overall:

On a serious note, this was such a fail to begin with because of how boring and uninspired it was, especially compared to previous years.

Also the animations and design? Apologies to whoever set it up but it was UGLY. I kept cringing it hit my eye so bad.

But whatever, I was happy to get my stats but then I looked into it and i PROMISE you these dont make sense. In the slightest.

It's one thing to have a boring execution but to mess up the stats?? I dont understand this.

I mean, im not going to lose any sleep over this , ill be okay i promise, but it was such a bore, i mean i DO save these you know. uGH anyways

ill edit them myself lol for journals <3

[weeom20]

Weeom Latest NSF to PST Converter

Weeom NSF to PST converter formerly known as IBM Notes, and Microsoft Outlook are two different email clients with distinct file formats. Weeom NSF to PST converter user-friendly interfaces and robust algorithms, these converters enable individuals and organizations to transition smoothly from Lotus Notes to Outlook, reduce potential data loss, and minimize disruption. This converter makes sure that all the information is transferred with precision and that the original structure and hierarchy are maintained. Many converters are also capable of offering such facilities as batch converting, data filtering, and attachment support, which makes the process a lot smoother and easier to handle. The conversion tool ensures all your emails, calendars, and everything else that is crucial with dates are safely converted to PST files with complete loss of no data. The program has fast processing which reduces time, and accepts all NSF files, which makes this application perfect for both professionals and the end-users.

More to get: https://www.weeom.com/blog/convert-nsf-to-pst/

[imexperiencinggrowthgetoverit]

Healing from phobias can be frustrating because people get all rude when you don’t fit the standard for the definition anymore.

I do still have trypophobia and masklophobia and arachnophobia

The fact I can look at many traditional triggers on a phone screen now does not mean I can handle them irl

The fact I get triggered by similar but not exactly the same things as before does not mean I suddenly dont have the phobias

The reason these new things trigger me is because they are very similar and my brain is still trying to latch onto WE MUST SAVE THEM FROM THIS DANGER so it thinks we got it wrong the first time and pivots

I’m triggered of scales and face altering filters and crabs now because its similar to holes and masks and spiders

Also, to very strongly paraphrase a great post I’ve seen, Why do we always expect to only have one thing in one way? (and forever!)

A note, as well, for my fellow sufferers:

I haven’t gotten professional help. I sought it out, but it never actually occurred. This progress was all Me. I put the work in to fight back. It has been s l o w but the evidence doesn’t lie.

I don’t get physically sick the second I see Fleet Lotus anymore. I can see artwork of a spider now. Looking at a sports game mascot or a furry suit on my phone doesn’t make me feel super uncomfortable anymore.

Whether the people around you are kind or not, You Can Do This.