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It's not often that he finds himself in such position, but it does happen.
John Constantine never would have thought he'd scratch the "tied up by a cult to be used as sacrifice to summon a powerful ghost" spot on his bingo card.
He doesn't even feel threatened by the cult, hell, all he will receive from this day is pure embarrassment if the summoning circle is really the one he thinks it is.
Great, it's glowing.
Little bastard knows and is on his way here.
Shit.
"Oh all mighty King of Ghosts! We summon thee! Appear!"
If he has to listen to that badly scripted American movie summoning ritual one more word, he's gonna do some serious damage.
The circle lights up in sickly green, the ectoplasm flooding the insides of the portal as it opens.
And there he stands, the boyprince of the Infinity Realms.
"Hey, dad!" The being greets, swinging a swift fist against one of the cultist.
The rest are frozen and now that they're alone John sees the shit eating grin on the gremlins face.
"Danny." He greets back, watching as his kid swipes some invisible dust from his hat and putting it on back.
"Man, this is so embarrassing for you. Let me just—"
To make matters worse, Danny pulls out his bloody smartphone and takes a picture of him tied up.
"I'm sending this to mom." He's fiddling with the rope, smug smirk on him that John would love to flip off if his hands weren't bound.
"Useless..."
Ah, here comes the blackmail. A kids after his own heart.
The little shit.
Visual picture of Constantine being embarrassed. (Yes, he's tied up with a RED RIBBON for funnsies.)
Here you go, @firstdragonlady , comedic book-Hayffie (including a goose) because that's how they work best for me:
I think Haymitch would enjoy introducing his feathery friend to his feathery lady. 😂
Bonus: And for an extra dose of snarky Haymitch, I love the idea that he names his geese after some variation of Effie:
“That right there is Effily. Silly little thing. Then there’s Effina and over there is the great Ephigenia. She’s the loudest one, always making noises. I can’t get her to shut up for just five minutes.”
She can transform into a dragon and then falls in love with a man on a mission to slay all the dragons he finds. Who then begins to travel with her brother and his friend and keeps hearing about how "my sister could kick your ass" and he tries to keep his sister away from the dragon slayer because that's a risk he won't take.
Then the sister ends up marrying the dragon slayer.
Been seeing so many tweets abt it and I wanna get back on yonder soap box for a second cuz I have my own musings
I had always wondered if Vax would show up when Vex was drowning in Dalen's Closet and then when he didn't I wondered why and mused that barring the above table reasons of this being a game with set rules and Matt can't just deus ex machina their way outta all their scraps, that below table the Deal Vax had already made with RQ for Vex's safety was all the flexing she would allow him to do and then voila Vex comes back anyhow, and I think it's important to note that as Vex was dying Liam slipped out of Derrig's character, something he doesn't do much, and into Vaxbrain ("We had a deal, Matt.") to Express how unhappy he was that Vex was drowning and the deal he'd made was being routed and I think that's proof enough that Vax would if allowed absolutely come down there and rescue his family from any and all scrapes if he was able to,
Now with this latest episode, We saw Otohan bedecked Paragon's Call with RQ's symbols, we know Otohan has the poison that prevents you from being rezzed which is an affront to RQ's domain and position if I've ever heard one, we know the attack on Kiki was on purpose and possibly to get RQ's attention, get her looking and all, and this whole situation with Ludinus is the biggest threat yet faced to all the gods and all their domains,
And that's why she let Vax through the gates this time, just in time to wrest that permadeath dagger away from the heart of the love of his life. I don't think Vax could have been there without the requisite chips falling where they did, without RQ letting him, I think the thought that he busted through all of those gates unprompted and w/o permission is a little disingenuous because Vax would want to do that for any and every one of his family members every day all the time forever, but it makes perfect sense that as the Raven Queen's champion he would be sent down to stop Ludinus from freeing Predathos and it makes perfect sense for Vax to veer off from his official business, to shirk his responsibility and use the opportunity given to go to her, to do such a grand and meaningful gesture for his one true love, and tl sound so unclouded and present while doing so, I mean
This is Vax we're talking about. The guy who looked death (death herself both times y'know, Otohan and her dagger and RQ, two sides of a coin or something) right in the eye, twice, clutching his girls to him and telling that nigh all powerful entity to fuck right off cuz they can't have these girls he loves more than life? Peak Vax behavior. To know he's been watching Keyleth for so long finally seized his moment to help her, and did so with gusto? True love. The purest kind, the Vax-iest kind. Not even death can stop his love for her, for Vex, for Vox Machina.
And I think after this all is over they need to renegotiate the terms of Vax's service so he can stay back past the gates with the rest of his family cuz RQ is a stingy bitch and should have been MUCH laxer with gate-crossing privileges, I mean Vax has more than earned it now
Ngl I'm lowkey intrigued by the idea of Jason being considered an actual "Al Ghul Prince" (even if Damian is still the Al Ghul heir) and what kind of drama that could entail in your fic XD
A…. lot. Honestly at this point “What you’re longing for” is more of a soap opera than anything lmao.
I’m not sure if it’s gonna fit into the fic yet, most likely it will stay heavily implied, but if the Bats do end up finding out about Jason’s status as, well, royalty in a way, Bruce is sure to get some more gray hairs lmao.
Jason for his part… mostly doesn’t realize what it means to be so thoroughly incorporated into the al Ghul family. He just thinks he’s finally lucked out on a family that would (and has already) killed for him. He remains largely oblivious to all the deference the regular league members show him now and thinks it’s due to his rank as a general.
(He is also not aware of the couple Shadows that Talia and Ra’s have tailing him at all times in case he ever gets in over his head with a bust, but that’s neither here nor there.)
my new adopted miracle child the ice cream milky planet lyrical bunny backpack. you will no longer be a boxed up girl. i will take you outside with me everywhere. i will show you the world. you will be freed from the shackles of the plastic bag in a lonely dark closet prison. i will love and cherish you Forever for you are my little lyrical bunny