#love how bad conan is at acting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heecyon · 2 years

Text

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑; 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 —volume one

pairing: ceo!park jongseong x brother's best friend!fem!reader

genre: arranged/forced marriage, accidental pregnancy, brother's best friend, slight age gap (reader's 22 and jay's 24), angst, fluff and second chance love.

warning(s): grammar mistakes, curse words, nicknames, arranged marriage, suggestive scenes, mentions/allusions to sex, toxic/abusive mother, verbal abuse, vomiting, mentions of food, accidental pregnancy, sort of toxic relationship between jay and reader.

word count: 14.0k words

summary: Just a year ago, you were forced to marry Park Jongseong, CEO of the Southern Branch, part of the vary famous Park Enterprises. It was all for the sake of your family, a marriage for the benefit of gaining more traction as a company. Jongseong was attentive, caring, sometimes even sweet, but your relationship was more about sex than it was about the marriage itself. At some point, everything got bad, and it was just mere sexual intimacy that anything else, and just when you were close to ending things...you found out you were pregnant.

playlist • backburner by niki • common by zayn • dos mil 16 by bad bunny • used to this by camila cabello • astronomy by conan gray • lovers by anna of the north • lover of mine by 5sos • this love by taylor swift • julia by lauv •

volume two

CEOs & ARRANGEMENTS MASTERLIST

taglist (open): @iloveoceaneyesss @abdiitcryy @chimajeyn @sjakewrld @loves0ft @duolingofanaccount @ufoundme @sunghoons-mole @tobiosbbyghorl @dasa3040 @monkeybabyzz @snowysung @wonyofanclub @prdxinvade @dearhee @zhrtics @woinswoo @rerequire @in2jhae @darkreymbow @ahnneyong @uuwonniee @hueningluvbotsworld @iwuvjay @zen003xx @pshchives

author's note: So sorry for the delay, I'm still not done with volume two, and I wanted to have ready before publishing volume one, but I'm very impatient. The story is so long (it's 39k long at this point) that I had to divide it in two parts. I'm really anxious, because I don't know if this is good... but here you go. Also, the story is narrated mostly on the MCs views, not in first person, but mostly in the ambience that she is around.

PROLOGUE; And for once, I don't care about what you want. As long as we keep talking

It wasn't that the hospital bed was uncomfortable. It's the ambience, the situation that you just got into that made you uncomfortable.

Jongseong wasn't showing any type of expression, he was just standing, staring at the floor, maybe at his feet. You swore that his soul was wandering somewhere around the room.

You should've ended things sooner.

Maybe it was your fault, somehow.

ACT ONE; I can't lie, it feels nice that you're calling. You sound sad and alone, and you're stalling

Ever since you had memory, Sunghoon has been your best friend. You were both polar opposites, but somehow you still got along perfectly. While Sunghoon was way more reserved, introverted and shy, you were outgoing, talkative and extroverted. Wherever Hoon went, you would follow him as well, as a baby chick following her mother.

And of course you weren't a stranger to Sunghoon's family. The Parks were very well-known around the continent, but it wasn't because of that. Your parents knew very well the five-membered family. As well, you were born in an old money family, from a very old business in the country. They had a very good friendship with The Parks, and that's how you met Sunghoon.

You would always visit the mansion with a huge smile on your face.

"Do you want more donuts, Bellie?" Hoonie asked, his cutesy twelve-year old face, stuffed with the strawberry jam-filled dessert. You held back a giggle, trying hard not to laugh. "Yes, obviously." Soon, you grabbed a donut from the counter. It had a delicious vanilla frosting, but on the inside it contained a nutella filling.

Bellie, Belle.

Those were the nicknames that the family gave you, well… Jay gave you that nickname. It started when you started dressing up as Belle from 'The Beauty and The Beast' every single halloween. Jay kept the name to joke around with you, but it soon became a way that they called you to express how dearly they loved you.

When you played around with dolls, it was a completely different story. With your friends, you used to play with baby dolls, pretending to be mother's taking care of their children.

But some of them didn't truly believe the name that you gave to your "baby".

"What's her name again?" The four year old in front of you asked. She didn't understand what you were saying.

While your friends gave their "babies" names like: Areum, Young-sun, and Lily. You, on the other hand, gave your "child" the following name…

"Noa, her name is Noa."

The kids looked at you weirdly, it wasn't a name that you usually heard, but you had always liked it.

Your parents had taken you on a business trip to Japan, alongside your older sister. They took you both to their offices in the country, where other kids would wait for their parents.

You were left alone, your sister leaving you behind to play with other children. You tried to play around with other kids, but they seemed to ignore, find you annoying, even, because of your chatty attitude.

The only kid who did not ignore you was a girl two years older than you, she was obviously smaller, but she was educated and sweet, and with the knowledge that she had, she held your hand taking you somewhere else to play.

"Play hide and seek?" Those were her first words towards you. "Of course!"

You were only happy that you got to play with somebody, that somebody was not ignoring. You just played around with her, both of your tiny legs looking for places to hide around the building.

And when the end of the day came, and you were being scolded by your mother to hurry up, you finally asked her:

"What's your name?" You said grabbing your glitter backpack.

"My name… is Noa."

The name sounded beautiful to you, something that you'd never heard before. And you remembered her, because she was the only kid who did not blatantly ignore you.

"Daddy, what does Noa mean?"

Your father had complete knowledge of that foreign language, within seconds he had answered your questions.

"It's a really nice name, it means 'from love' in japanese. Why do you ask?"

"I met a girl today, she was named that way, and I thought that the name was pretty."

That was the origin of that name that caused your friends to turn their heads, with time they got used to it, but they always found it curious.

As you were both enjoying your dessert, a presence came into the room. "I thought I told you to leave me one of those." You both turned around to see his older brother.

You were four years old when you first met Jay. Sunghoon had become your play partner and the rest of the kids were on a trip to the United States.

They had finally come back home and at first you weren't that interested, but when you first saw Jay coming through the entrance door, your heart gained experience for what a palpitation was, at least that's what your younger self thinks. For you, he was the most handsome boy you had ever seen, that childhood love that every girl would like to have for themselves.

"Sorry, they were way too delicious, they might have gone to waste." You said with a smirk on your lips. Nearly shoving the donut to his face.

Jay rolled his eyes, a small laugh coming out of his mouth.

"You are something else, if you continue like this you might as well just corrupt my brother with your silly personality."

"I'm sorry, but my personality is not silly." You got up from the seat, standing up in front of him.

For him, you could be a beautiful ray of sunshine one day, and the other you could be a huge gremlin, there was no in between.

"Sometimes it can be… you don't need to get so mad just because somebody finds you cute most of the time." "But I thought-"

He said lowering down his eyebrow, his hands laying on top of your shoulders. Jay sometimes made you feel things that you simply couldn't explain. You weren't in love with him, you just found him very attractive, and handsome…If someone would've told you would be feeling this way towards a boy, you were pretty sure that you wouldn't be friends with Sunghoon if it was because of that.

"When I say silly…I mean cute. Don't really want another cute person close to me, except you."

A sudden flush took over your cheeks, and till this day you are way too sure that something inside of him lighted up, right inside his soul.

But that wasn't the first close encounter you had with Jay.

Sometimes, things got way too intimate.

People knew you in high school as the witty, and silly girl, a ray of sunshine that illuminated the beautiful light blue sky. You made friends very easily, and were actually a good student.

You still hung out with Sunghoon during the school breaks, but because you were in different classes, you didn't see each other as much at school…but you did at home.

Still, the both of you tried your best to see each other at school.

It was one of those days where you waited for Sunghoon at lunch hour, the rest of the Parks were in the same class as Hoon. So, it wasn't a surprise for them that you were waiting for their youngest brother.

Even though you felt fazed at the moment, going back to what happened that morning. You had a small problem with one of your classes, chemistry to be exact.

It wasn't your forte, but you always gave your all, even though sometimes you felt a little bit lazy.

When your mother received your report card, a few days ago, she just focused on the B- that you had gotten in that class.

Among the various 'As' that you'd gotten, she only focused on that class. She scolded you, not only that… She yelled at you.

"Such a disappointment! How are you going to take care of a business with these horrible grades?!" She pressed her hand on your arm, as you looked at your sister, she gave you back a look of pity.

"Eunji, you don't have to be that way, it's just a grade, she does great in every single other class." "If you keep justifying her, she'll stay behind her sister and will continue to be a failure."

It wasn't like you weren't used to being called that way, it didn't bother you anymore, other than that it just made you realize that you would prove your mother wrong no matter what, you would be nothing like her.

"Hey, Sunghoon isn't done yet. You'll have to wait for a little while." Jay said getting close to you at the doorway

You still didn't understand why he never wore his uniform correctly. His school jacket was on, with the unbuttoned school shirt underneath.

And for some reason, he always wore a rock band t-shirt underneath his outfit.

By that time, Jay's hair was cut short. Bangs hanging on his forehead. Which was a problem, because for you… He looked hot. Jay was a good student, but with his image it didn't seem like it.

Girls were always trying to get his attention, as well as his brothers'. It was reasonable, they were incredibly handsome, but for you, Jay was something else.

"Yeah, I don't really mind." You responded, shrugging your shoulders

Jay examined you from head to toe. The way you looked down at your feet, the way your dark bangs covered your face, the way your skin glistened close to the sun and how your pink tinted lips would perfectly fit on his.

He also noticed your scent, a scent of cinnamon and vanilla glaze. It just made him more attracted to you.

Jongseong let a finger get close to your face, he then used three of his digits to move a piece of hair from your face placing it behind your ear. It felt like a light brush against your skin.

"You had a hair sticking out." The boy said with confidence. Your scent makes its way into his nostrils, as if you were tempting him into kissing you. He wondered what your lips tasted like? Did they taste exactly how you smelled like? Sweet and yummy?

On the other hand, your heart was beating irrationally, and soon you felt like your stomach was pressing against your ribs. Why was Jay making you feel such things?

"I can take you somewhere else, that way you won't miss your lunch." Jongseong's voice took you out of your trance in a complete surprise.

"And where would you take me?" You asked suddenly, gaining confidence.

"I know a place." He said getting closer to your body. You felt yourself heat up on the inside. "What about Sunghoon?" You came up with an excuse.

Jay looked back into the classroom. A focused Sunghoon getting in his view, still invested in his notebook.

"He won't mind." The boy said looking back at you, a smirk adorning his lips. "But-"

"Trust me, Y/N. Let's go." He held a grip on your arm, carefully guiding you to wherever he was taking you.

He somehow managed to take you to a place outside of the school territory. It was a burger place, decorated with hanging plants, cacti on the floor and white long couches that sat around the restaurant.

Jay guided you towards one of the couches, a table in front of you.

You both proceeded to order from the menu. Shy to order anything without having your wallet in hand, just having a few dollars in your pockets, Jay said the following. "Don't worry, order anything you want. Lunch is on me."

You nervously shook your head. "No, no. I'll pay for my own food." "It's alright, I'll pay for you. I don't mind." He smiled.

In the end, both of you ordered what caught your interest from the menu. And when it arrived, you were ready to devour. You know those delicious hamburgers with a juicy patty and that magnificent melted cheese? Well, that's what you were devouring, including those delicious cheese balls that you always liked.

"Can I have some?" Jay asked, pointing at the basket full of the delightful appetizers.

"Well… Let me think about it." You said while grabbing a cheese ball. A hum escaped your lips as you pretended to think about giving him the snack. "Ok, you can have it."

Jay happily grabbed the cheese ball from your hand, and just as he cheerily ate the snack you giggled underneath your breath. For you, he looked cute. And you continue to enjoy your lunch together, sometimes the silence that you would be in after a conversation, would be comfortable and warming.

Sometimes you didn't notice how he would stare at you in awe, as if he was seeing a hidden wonder from the world.

And then you asked him something, "Have you thought about what your grandfather told Sunghoon?" The inquiry you made had caused Jay to get out of his trance. He looked at you with strange eyes, as if he was thinking about what he wanted to answer.

His grandfather had always been skeptical, also a little bit stressful. When the boys were just little kids, he kept talking about how they had to continue the family business. They were just five at the moment, and they didn't understand what he meant. But as they grew older they soon got a hold of the situation.

'Park Enterprises' has been a family business since 1962, exactly founded by Mr. Park, it started as a small office, a business to start technological advancements. Soon, the company grew to be huge, having three different branches in South Korea.

SPE, or The Southern Branch, is the one in charge of the Nanotechnological Advancements. NPE, also called The Northern Branch, is the one who takes care of the Communicative Technological Advancements. Meanwhile WPE, or The Western Branch, is the one in charge of Healthcare Technological Advancements.

The enterprise had become an empire that had spread around the world. With different sucursals in Italy, U.S, even some countries of Latin America. It was clear that it was a very successful business, a well known name that was stuck to the public's mouth.

No matter what happened, the brothers saw this business as their future responsibility. They wanted to make their family proud, and they were ready for whatever they had to do for the family business, even if it was not what they wanted.

"If my family thinks that it's for the best, then I'll do whatever they want me to do." You looked at him, raising your eyebrows with curiosity and surprise. You always say Jay as a man that was stubborn and obstinate, if he didn't like something he would say it, and he wasn't someone to give in easily.

So, you scoffed. "That sounds so weird coming from you." He raised his head looking at you. Jay knew that somehow you were right. He didn't want to be brainwashed by his family, but that business was his family's pride and joy. He wasn't ready to let them down.

"What do you mean?" Jongseong pretended to be clueless. A sigh escaped your lips.

"Jay, you can't have kids when you are just 17." You stated calmly. "You also can't get married at your age, you are too young."

It wasn't that you were saying it just because of Jay. You were saying that to yourself too. The reason why you had met 'The Park Family' in the first place was because you came from an old money family.

Your family owned a business, 'Baezen Corp'. An investment company that has been led by your family from various decades and generations. Your older sister was the first in line to take charge of the president position in the company, meanwhile your family still analyzed what position you would have under the business (if that's what you wanted), as you were still young and they still wanted to check if you were perfect for the family business… and with the way that your mother saw you, you found it a little far away.

"They didn't say when they plan to engage me with someone." He muttered under his breath.

You slightly shook your head in disappointment, trying your best to alleviate the bad energy that you had just provoked.

"Also, do you even have an idea of who you want to marry? What exactly do you look for in a girl?"

Jay, then raised his head to look at you. He parted his lips getting ready to start talking, as if he already planned what to say even before you asked the question.

"I'm looking for a girl that is sweet, a girl that looks like an exact representation of the moon, but that her personality is just like the very rays of the sun falling into the ocean waves." He proceeded to stare at you, looking deeply into your eyes, as if he could read your soul. Jay's cat eyes shone from enchantment, anticipation, almost as if he was under a spell.

A spell that you might have put on him, his gaze was enough to make your heart race, and to make your fingers tingle from excitement.

"I want a girl who is intelligent and has a passion for learning. A girl that smells like cinnamon spice and vanilla. I'm looking for a girl whose lips will taste just like an exquisite dessert. And lastly, her eyes have to shine like the moon reflects itself on the water when she looks at what she loves and desires… Just like you, right now."

His last words made you blink in shock, you hadn't noticed how hard you were staring at him. But it seemed that at some point you might have been under the spell that he had been just a few seconds before.

"Sorry, it's just that your description sounded so poetic, I didn't know you could be so romantic." "There are some things that you don't know about me." He smiled.

You cleared your throat before proceeding. "Where have you seen a girl like that, anyway?"

You saw the boy get closer to you, moving his seat right beside you. Then, he moved his hand close to your locks, moving them away from your face.

"It might surprise you, but I'm staring at her right now."

That was the moment that your breath got stuck somewhere around your respiratory system. As if you had forgotten all of a sudden how to breathe.

You had expected Jay to tell you all those things. Yes, he was a tease sometimes, but never intimate with his words.

"Jay."

For a second your lips parted, and you felt that you were getting closer to each other, as if your lips were to touch at any time. The boy creeped a hand down to your neck, causing small tickles on your skin. His eyes were now dazed, left with nothing but a small glimmer.

And then the phone rang, Jay's phone to be exact.

You both backed away quickly, and you nervously passed your hands on your skirt, as if you were trying to keep it clean.

"I-It's Sunghoon, we better hurry. Class is about to start." This time he didn't look at you. It was like he was ashamed or was simply just shying away from you.

"Yeah, you are right."

It wasn't a few hours later, when you were at their house that things got intense. You had asked Hoon to help you with some homework, but he told you something that you weren't expecting.

"I don't really remember any of this, but you can ask Jay for some help."

And that's how you ended up at their study room, with Jay right beside you, giving a quick eye to your chemistry book, before turning to the next page.

How was it that he smelled so good? Just like amber and citrus, a small touch of wood but also warm.

How was it that he caused you to want to crawl out of your skin? The fact that he wasn't bothered to help even though he had better things to do, was causing a small race in your heart.

"It isn't that hard, it's actually quite easy. You just have to identify the components and use the formula. The formula is not that hard either- Bae, are you listening?" He waved his hand in front of you, causing you to wake up from your trance.

"I thought I lost you there." You looked directly at his lips, the mark at the middle of the skin calling your attention. It was as if they were calling you, calling your lips. You wanted to kiss him.

You inhaled deeply, getting ready for what you were going to say.

"Can you finish what you started?" Jay looked at you confused. "What do you mean?"

It was now you, who got close to him. Your hand making itself comfortable at his cheeks, the naughty of your thumb rubbing the end of his sharp jaw.

"Can you finish what you started? Please." You said with a little plea in your voice, like your body was desperate for his lips.

Jay looked hesitant, but he didn't waste a second to pull the same move that he did at the restaurant. His fingers guiding themselves to your hair, and softly caressing it in a comforting way.

"If we kiss then, I don't think I will be able to stop." "Then don't, just stop until you've finished what you provoked in me."

And that's when it happened, when the soft flesh touched yours, how you felt them pressing against your upper lip. He then moved them trying to start a monotonous movement. You felt his hands then at the bottom of your hips, your skirt being the only thing that stopped them from touching your skin.

You both felt as if you were running out of air, so you slowly disconnected your lips from the other.

Your hand was still stuck to his jaw, and you stayed like that until you came out from your dazy phase.

"I-I have to go back home." You stood up from the sofa, grabbing your stuff and letting your feet lead you to the door.

A while after that, both you and Jay pretended that nothing ever happened, and getting close to each other caused certain things on your skin, you were way too nervous to be around each other.

The Park Brothers graduated high school and that just meant that they were a step closer to getting what their family wanted.

You followed their steps two years later, and even though they were occupied with college, they still had some time to enjoy with you. It wasn't the same as it was before, but it was still fun and joyful.

But, it wasn't until you were twenty-one that something happened. It wasn't disheartening, it was just weird and obviously unexpected. You knew that you had feelings for Jay, you couldn't deny it. It was the butterflies and pixie dust that you felt every time you were with him.

"Unnie? Is something going on?" You asked as you walked into the backyard. Your parents were sitting across the huge table that decorated the garden. Your sister, Juni stayed at a distance, like she was trying to keep the situation from getting more awkward. She wanted to be there, but not didn't really want to invade your space.

"Mom and Dad have something to tell you. We thought that it would be better if we stayed here so you could take fresh air." Juni softly grabbed your arm guiding you towards a chair that was just in front of your parents seat.

You adjusted the skirt of your dress, and then noticed the serious expression on their faces. Mr. Bae and Mrs. Gwan, two successful business leaders that were well respected by the public. These were their faces when they had a critical meeting, when they needed to be direct and strict towards some clients.

"Is something wrong?"

And that was the same expression that they taught you just by doing it themselves. Something that no client wanted to see, neither any single worker and worse, their own daughters.

"Dear, you know how important Baezen Corp is to us. It's been an essential part of our family for a long time, and the thing is that joining our hands with other companies wouldn't be a bad idea, especially if it means for the future of the business."

You frowned at your father's words. Not because you found it weird, but because you already knew all those things.

"I know, father. You've been telling me that ever since I have memory, but it terrifies me what you want to tell me."

Your parents glanced at each other. Getting ready to tell you the news.

"Darling, your sister is soon becoming the president of Baezen Corp. and that means that she is going to need a vice-president by her side to help her manage the company. And you've proven to us that you deserve that spot." Your jaw fell in surprise, you never thought that you would be vice-president for Baezen Corp. You thought that you weren't good enough, but your parents have now proved you wrong.

"Is it really? I can't believe this. Thank you so much, I promise that I won't fail you." You stood up from happiness, but your sister put her hands on your shoulders for you to sit back down.

"That's not all we have to say, dear. There's more to communicate, and we don't know how you'll react." The smile from your face fell.

"How I'll react? How I'll react to what?"

Juni gave them a short glance before they continued speaking.

Your mother cleared her throat. "Y/N, we've been talking a lot with The Park Family, about how we want our business to grow and how we want it to last for many years."

"And we thought that it would be better if we join our businesses to make a new branch, where the next generation of our family will be in charge. So, not only are our companies joining together, but also our families."

This was the moment where you knew what they were talking about, this wasn't about you taking the position of Baezen's future vice-president. This was about your family making sure that you kept on for various generations. That was when your father spoke up again.

"Dear, you are getting married to Park Jongseong."

There was a huge fog that fulfilled your mind, and it felt like the world was moving all of the sudden. You weren't ready to get married, and it wasn't because of Jay, it was just that you wanted to get married in your own will, with somebody you loved and that loved you back.

Your body went numb and you felt your legs shutting their nerves down, as if you had gone paralyzed by the shock.

"Y/N, you got to understand that it's all for a major good." The voice of your mother sounded so distant and incoherent, as if you were underneath the water. You could feel your sister's hand across your shoulders, soothing you into a state that was supposed to be calm, but instead you just felt confused and lost.

You didn't want to get married.

You could not get married.

Because…

Jay didn't love you.

At least, that's what you feared...

ACT TWO; And whether we're free-willed or predestined, clearly I've not learned my lesson, even now. Hope he doesn't strike me down.

For the following week, you were dazed, nervous and stressed. Your special task was to maintain a peace of mind that you simply didn't have at that moment.

It was as if your brain was on fire, you were full of a million questions that weren't being answered for you.

Did Jay know any of this?

Was he in the same state as you were?

Did he approve any of it?

Did he hate you?

The less that you wanted was Jay to hate you, you wanted the exact opposite. But you didn't want to force him to love you.

At the moment, you were at one of the tables from a luxurious hotel. It was a company party… Park Enterprises' party, to be exact.

You felt embarrassed to be there, but your mom's tightening grip kept you in that place, her fingers hurting the delicate skin of your arm.

How red would it be after that…

Your entire family was there, not only because they were friends, but because your engagement had a lot to do with it.

Hands went to a glass of wine that had been given to you by one of the waiters, you drank a few sips, enjoying the taste of grapefruit and kiwi that the alcoholic drink contained.

The clinking of a spoon against a wine glass was heard across the room. The Parks had rented the whole building just for this event, and even though it didn't seem pleasing for the management, it was beneficial for the hotel owners.

"Dear guests, I hope you are having a pleasing evening. Thanks for coming to the celebration of Park Enterprises' 60th anniversary." Mrs. Park wore a long black dress, it had small pieces of diamonds decorating the torso of the clothing, she wore long sleeves and her jet black hair was down.

She looked so young and happy, like she had just found a lucky charm for a special collection. She looked… Proud.

"But, we are not only here for that. We are here also, to celebrate something really important."

"Soon next year, our son, Park Jongseong will become the chief executive officer of Park Enterprises' Southern Branch." Those sudden words made your heart leap up to your throat. Jay was finally taking his family's footsteps and for some reason that got you scared. That could mean that you both wouldn't spend as much time together as a couple. You would be vice-president of Baezen Corp. and Jay would lead the Southern Branch as its CEO.

People clapped from joy, or maybe compromise, you could care less, but being at the party just made you wish for some fresh air.

Maybe it was because you couldn't keep your eyes away from Jay, he looked so elegant with his tux, not only that, but he also looked hot.

You walked away from the room, going towards the pool area, the water being an artificial blue, looking just like a blue flame. The area was big and nice, with a clear view towards the city lights of Seoul and its buildings. There were various pool beds, big and round with white sheets, but gray borders. You sat on one of them, right below a louvered roof that was connected to a wall.

The thought of Jay being your soon-to-be- husband was terrifying, not because you were marrying him, but because the thought of him hating you because of it was eating you alive.

But there was another thought on your mind. Your first kiss. It was with Jay, he was your first kiss, and for you, the fire that was coming up inside your body that day was coming back the moment you saw him with that tux, he looked so professional and mysterious, as if his aura was different.

Jay had always been confident, but this time it was different, he looked… powerful. Ready for everything and anything.

You caressed your exposed leg, eyeing the soft fabric of your white, short dress. You kicked off your heels, feeling them press against your ankle.

The water from the pool was moving, but in a calm way, you tried concentrating on it, trying to forget about everything that was going on. For one night you just wanted to relax and forget.

A shriek escaped your lips when you felt contact within your skin. It was a hand, and when you turned around, you fell deeply into that familiar and deep gaze.

"Why aren't you at the party?" You brushed Jay's hand off from your shoulder. "I needed some fresh air, it was a little bit suffocating in there."

Jongseong passed a hand through his hair, keeping it away from his face. "Are you okay? Be honest with me, Y/N."

No, you weren't okay, there was something strange building up inside you, the fingerprints of your hands wanted to touch him so bad, it was a necessity at that point.

"I'm okay, it's just… you know, things have been weird recently and it can be kinda overwhelming."

Jay knew that there was something that you weren't telling him, you were hiding something, and deep inside him, he wanted to uncover it and at the same time he wanted to kiss you so profoundly that you would both forget your names.

"You are lying, baby." He grabbed your chin, making you look at him. Jay needed you so bad, he was done hard for you, head over heels.

You inhaled before answering again. "I don't want to be your wife if you don't love me."

"This isn't about love, Y/N. This is about our families… but that doesn't mean that I don't feel something for you right now." Jay looked at your lips, they were glossy and red.

Beautiful, he thought.

"Do you love me, Ms. Bae?" You feared what would happen if you answered that question truthfully, and Jay did too.

"I don't, Mr. Park." You lied with an awkward smirk, you shamelessly lied, and somewhere inside him, Jay knew that you were lying.

And Jay swore that his heart shattered when he heard those words come out of your mouth. So, he came up with the next question.

"Do you lust for me, Ms. Bae?" His eyes turned dark with curiosity.

"I do, Mr. Park." You whispered underneath your breath. Your face being inches from touching. "Do you lust for me, Mr. Park?" You said feeling his lips almost brush yours.

"You already know the answer to that." And with that, he kissed you. And he did roughly, it was so rough that you grabbed his hair as your lips crashed against each other.

His hands moved towards your hips as they did the first time. He didn't want to ruin this, you didn't want to ruin this.

You loved each other and you knew it, but your biggest fear, for the both of you, was that your arranged marriage would kill off that passionate love that you felt ever since you were teens.

You both knew you lied, but it was better to know that lie than knowing the truth and then it being shattered.

And when he laid you on that bed, you both knew that this was the start of something new.

A beautiful and lustful lie.

ACT THREE; After everything you put me through, I somehow still believe in you.

Your heart was about to break through your chest, all because what was happening at the moment was completely unbelievable. When you were little, you always had this fantasy that you would get married to Jay, your parents always said it as a joke and to play around with you, but you never thought that it would actually become a real thing.

Because right now, you had Jay dressed up as a groom in front of you, his hair back, only a few strands in front of his face.

The way his warm hands held your cold ones, and the way you felt your heart fluttering because he was right there, in just a few minutes Jay was going to be all yours, your husband.

It was just the way that you felt your feet go numb by knowing that he was about to say his vows to you.

He looked so unreal and so elegant, but if you could be inside his mind in that instant you would've been overwhelmed by how overestimated Jay's brain was at the moment.

Jongseong thought you looked so beautiful, and the way you pressed your lips in nervousness was heartwarming. He knew that at heart he wanted to be with you, so bad. He'd never had such strong feelings for anyone before, in his entire life.

Seeing you right now, Jay realized how bad he wanted things to work out, how bad he wanted you to be his wife. But he was afraid, he was afraid to grow attached to you, because he was afraid that after this you would both end up heartbroken.

"I, Jay, take you, Y/N, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life." He meant that last part, with his whole heart he meant it, how could he not love you.

But how can you love someone and also be afraid of loving them?

"I, Y/N, take you, Jay, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

Your parents were watching, both of your families were watching how their kids were fearful to love somebody with such passion. How could you be able to survive something like this? Pretend you both didn't love each other just for the mere fact of fear.

The ring exchange was just around the corner and everything just felt more surreal, as if you were stuck in a dream, a dream that was magical, but also painful.

The rings were presented to you, Jay grabbing yours, a beautiful ring with a shining heart-shaped diamond on its center.

You swore you saw his hand change, but he was shaking in anticipation, in amusement. Jay held back a chuckle, trying to keep it cool, but he gave a quick glance to you with a nervous smile, lips sealed together.

"With this ring I, Jay, take you, Y/N, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us." Jongseong slides the ring on your finger, feeling the cold sensation of the sacred ring in your digit.

You gave him a warm smile, a smile that he dearly loved ever since he was a kid.

"With this ring I, Y/N, take you, Jay, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us." Now the both of you had a ring in your fingers that joined you together, you were now one and only one.

You could daydream a life with Jay, but you couldn't envision it in your day to day life. Not because you didn't desire it, because it all felt so unreal.

You were now getting married to somebody whom you were afraid to admit that you loved. And he was feeling exactly the same.

The both gave each other a glance, your eyes connected, not being able to pull them apart from the other.

"By the power vested in me by the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal your union and the promises you've made to each other this day with a kiss."

You looked at each other for a moment, this was it, you were now sealed by sacred union.

"May I?" Jay whispered.

You nodded your head with a shy smile on your lips. "You may"

The feeling of Jay's soft lips on top of yours was warm, candid, and sweet. Cheers from people could be heard from behind you…

From now on, you were husband and wife.

"This place is really nice, it's really pretty."

You had arrived at a hotel in Bali, something that your parents had planned, which was not a surprise. The flight was quiet and peaceful, Jay fell asleep on your shoulder, which caused your stomach to do weird tricks in you, you were more than nervous.

"I want to get to the pool first." Jay said placing your bags at a corner of a room. You felt his presence coming closer to you, his warmth betrayed him completely.

"So, can I call you Mrs. Park now? It has a nice ring to it." He placed his head near the crook of your neck, causing your skin to go ticklish that it made you shrugged. "Somebody's sensitive." Jay got away from your neck, but before getting away could do that, he placed a quick peck on your skin, which caused your cheeks to redden.

"And also shy."

He propped himself on the bed, his back resting against the bed frame. Jay took off his black leather jacket, letting it fall beside him.

You walked up to him, setting yourself on the large queen bed, sitting right beside him. "Can't believe I'm married to you." Jay murmured.

"Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" You asked him with curiosity, he could feel your gaze on him. "I don't know, you'll have to figure it out." He turned his to the side to look at you, raised eyebrows, cocky expression. "You are such a tease." You whispered.

Something overpowered you, as you let your legs guide you to where your soul wanted to go. You found yourself resting on top of Jay, on his lap, your eyes looking at his lips and then looking at his sharp cat eyes.

You felt his hands naughtly making themselves comfortable on your hips, the right one rubbing your lower back, he roughly pulled you closer to him and you grabbed his shoulders adjusting your body to his figure.

"I want you to kiss me right now." His smirk was such a provocative point and the way he missed the taste of your lips made him want you closer to him. "I was already thinking about that."

He pulled you closer to him, your lips sealed against the other as he tasted your lips and the vanilla flavor they had. He continued to caress your hips in a caring manner and you finished the night with the both of you feeling the warmth of each other's skin as you hugged the other.

The sun fell through the window as you blinked trying to keep the sleep away, you got up to the bathroom just to wash your face and do your skin care before finally washing your teeth.

You heard the water running and knew that Jay was getting ready for work.

"Good morning!" You said with your mouth full of toothpaste foam. "Good Morning!" Jay responded as he washed away his soap.

You continued with your routine as the morning went on, you cooked breakfast and prepared Jay's lunch bag.

"Belle I'm leaving!" You heard his voice soon, noticing that he was already by the exit. "Wait, your lunch bag." You sprinted towards him.

"Thanks." You saw his sweet smile, being completely grateful for your efforts and your food.

He loved when you did that, when you cooked for him, but he preferred when he cooked for you, he loved doing things for you and it was slowly becoming a habit of his.

"See you at night." Jay pulled you closer to give you a quick peck in your lips, before caressing your cheek.

You saw him go away and you stayed at the frame of the door as you heard the engine go off and him driving away.

With that, you got ready yourself and packed your stuff to get ready to work. That was the way that you started your day ever since you got married, and you definitely liked it.

"Thanks as always, Heeseung."

You had gotten off from your car, whose driver was your secretary, Heeseung. He was new to the business, but he was organized and really respectful. He parked your car at the covered parking lot of the company.

The small sound of your sneakers pierced through the walls of the underground lot. You had Heeseung behind you, who wore a dark suit with a blue-patterned tie.

You walked right through the glass double doors that guided to the building offices, you checked yourself through the glass, making sure that your outfit was well arranged.

A satin primrose dress was adjusted to your body, but it kept itself away from your shoulders, a similar colored belt defined your waist, a pair of beige shorts hugged your thighs and a pair of platform sneakers covered your feet.

"Heeseung, please contact President Bae. We have a meeting with the council, do you think you can remind her of it?" The young man agreed, quickly taking out his phone to contact your sister.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Bae!"

"Good morning, Mrs." A pair of coworkers greeted you after they heard you walk through the doors.

You greeted back with a warm smile as you led yourself to your office. Heeseung opened the other set of glass doors for you, and then you left your bag on the desk to sit on the soft white leather chair.

It annoyed you that your mother had called just to tell you that she thought that your work could be better, that she was disappointed with your levels of work. Even though you slept late most of the time to make up for what your sister missed, and taking care of the arrivals of new clients.

Throughout the rest of your day, you checked the work of the staff and completed the work that your sister couldn't do at the time, you scheduled some meetings and at some point of the day you received a visit from a dear friend of yours.

"How's my Bellie doing?" Hoon was always occupied, ever since he took charge of The Northern Branch he was always taking care of something in the company building, not only that but, also overseas, it was like he lived farther away than before. He was always somewhere far, like the U.S, Europe, even other countries of Asia.

"Sunghoon, it's good to see you." You got up from your desk to hug him. He'd recently been in Los Angeles, to make a deal with a communication company for a further partnership. "I was just walking around the area, decided to pay you a visit." He ruffled your hair making it a small mess

You both sat down at one of the tables in your office, you offered an ice coffee with a dessert.

"I thought you would have a girlfriend already, you know, have settled down." "You know that I don't really want a relationship right now." Sunghoon had always been like that, he had always thought that he needed some time for himself before getting into a relationship. He felt bad for rejecting various girls, he wasn't capable of breaking their heart, but he wasn't gonna force himself into a partnership either.

"How's married life going?"

He bit down the glazed donut with strawberry jam filling, it reminded him of his childhood years and how much fun he had during those.

"Everything is going great, though I believe that we can improve some things."

You remembered how things were a few months ago, and how you had been feeling since.

The fact that your parents planned a honeymoon after your wedding was just perfect for you.

Jay was excited that day and you were more than him. After all, you were finally married, which sounded so weird to say out loud.

You spent a lot of time together, but back at home it wasn't any different. You stuck to each other for everything. If Jay was cooking, you were there, if you were working at the home office, he was there.

And the intimacy… was the way to compensate for the words that you feared to say.

But, you sometimes doubted if what you felt was lust, or if it was love. You knew there was love, but there was always some fear to express it. And that wasn't really healthy.

You thought that if you just kept it there, you would both be perfect as it was. You didn't want to ruin anything, because then…there was no turning back, there was no fixing anything.

And you didn't want to lose Jay, and he didn't want to lose you.

So, if that meant being inside each other's backburner, then you would do anything to keep him.

Sometimes it was sad, you wanted to hear Jay saying "I love you." You wanted to scream those words out loud.

A time later after having a conversation with Sunghoon, he left.

You got out of work, bring various documents with you. Waving goodbye to your co-workers, you got your phone out to contact Heeseung.

Your white nails clicked against the back of your cellphone. The fake gems in your fingernails shined because of the sun reflecting on them.

The phone rang a few times, but then it sent you to voicemail. You rang it a few more times, waiting for Heeseung to pick up, but he never did. So you called Haewon instead.

"Hey, Haewonie! Have you seen Heeseung? He isn't picking up my calls."

"Sorry dear, I haven't. He went out in a hurry a few hours ago, so I haven't seen him since." You then thanked her and hung up quickly.

A thought came into your mind.

Jay has picked you up before, but you didn't wanna bother him. It was wednesday, so I went out of work early that day.

You gave it a second thought before finally calling him.

You waited a few rings, before you finally heard his voice. "Hello?"

A sigh from relief came out of your throat. "Hey! How's everything going?" You asked, trying to be polite.

"I'm good, a little bit tired, but I'm heading back home. Are you there already?" A finger unconsciously rolled one of your locks, you continued playing with your hair as you enjoyed the sound of your husband's voice.

"About that… You think you can pick me up from the office? I don't know where Heeseung is, so I was wondering if-"

"I'll be there in a minute."

He interrupted you all of the sudden, making you smile warmly.

You waited a few minutes outside of the building, before seeing the characteristic car that was always parked in your house's driveway.

The windows lowered down, showing a Jay that was adjusting his blazer, unbuttoning his piece of clothing revealing his white shirt.

In your eyes, he looked handsome, like always, and you kept on wondering, how was it that you got married to such an attractive man. You forced yourself to get out of your mind maze, and then let your feet guide you to the car, straight up opening the door.

"Thanks for picking me up. Don't know what happened to Heeseung, he was supposed to be here." You murmured looking at your phone. "You don't need to thank me, I'm your husband after all, I'm supposed to take care of you." You shook your head in negation.

"You can't be taking care of me all the time. I can take care of myself." Jay squeezed your thigh and then proceeded to rub his hand against it, but you put your small hand on top of his and he took it as an opportunity to grab it and rub his thumb on the skin.

"I ordered some burgers, they come with cheeseballs if you were going to ask." He looks at you for a quick second before turning back to the street.

When you reached home, you got some comfy clothing and quickly sprinted into the kitchen to hunt down your food.

It wasn't surprising that Jay was there, he was taking out the plates from the pantry and he placed them on the aisle of the kitchen. You then sat on top of it, which was a common occurrence.

Jay turned back to the aisle to see you sitting on it. He liked the view, you were wearing his oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts, it made you look cute, but he always thought you looked cute, he always thought you were beautiful.

"Alright, there's your food, young lady." He pointed at the plate. "Cheeseburger with extra cheese, french fries and with your favorite, cheeseballs."

"Thank you, young man." You bowed how you could with your position, but you then grabbed his hands and put them around your waist. "I should give you a kiss to repay you." You softly place your lips below his, all with the usual sweetness that you carried around with you.

"You should be careful, miss, or I will die from how cute you are." You felt your heart beat stronger than before, leaving a little blush in your cheeks. You turned away trying not to get disheartened.

Don't get too attached!

And when you and Jay acted as a couple, sometimes you wished that was your normal.

With that, the weeks passed and even though it seemed like you were newlywed, you soon turned one year of marriage, and obviously, Jay's family was already asking for a grandchild, his grandfather to be exact.

You visit often, with Jay or without him. You saw him as your own grandfather, he could be grumpy sometimes, but you quickly got why Jay was so sweet and caring towards you.

His grandfather was exactly the same.

You knew where he got it from.

"Shouldn't you be resting, papa?" You played your hands on his shoulders. "I have way too much energy to be in bed, darling."

"Shouldn't your husband be here with you, instead of you being here following me around." Jay chuckled, coming right to your side. "It's just that Y/N sneaks away from me, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her." Jay's fingers softly traced your neck, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

"She's so sneaky that she's cute at this point." You could feel his breath right at your neck, tingles spreading through your body. "So cute that you seem heavenly to me." A blush went across your cheeks and your ears. You looked at him right in the eyes, his gaze was penetrative but it shone when he saw you, like little sparkles that flew around his orbs.

"When are you two planning on giving me a grandchild?"

You felt a shock of electricity attack your heart, it hit so hard that it made your heart beat like crazy, and for Jay it wasn't any different.

"We are still not thinking about that, we are trying to enjoy what we have right now."

"Then enjoy it quickly, I'm pretty sure that you two will have a little one running around our family house in no time."

And with that, things became a little bit uncomfortable on the way back home, you both stayed quiet for a while.

That was until…

"Do you wish to have children, Belle?" The question took you out of your thoughts, but it didn't surprise you after what had happened but at the family house.

"I-I mean, if you don't want to have children it's fine, I'll be fine with whatever you want."

His words stroke your heart, he wasn't forcing you to have kids just for his family's sake. He was dealing to go with whatever you wanted to go with.

And that's what moved your heart.

"Jay… I do want children, it's just- we just got married, we just turned a year and maybe we just need more time just for us."

Jongseong nodded at your words, and his hand stroked your naked thigh, sometimes reaching the fabric of your dress, but with your finger you tickled his knuckles causing him to chuckle.

He pulled the car towards the sideway, the tigles that he provoked on your thighs were starting to go through your body, his hands moved from your thigh to the flesh of your neck, he softly shifted you towards him, being careful with your spine.

Jay's breath could be felt on top of your lips, he leaned closer finally closing the space between you, he moved his lips with a soft pace, until you fought with his to make the movement rougher and passionate. The butterflies that were accumulating inside your stomach were too much to bear, so parted your lips from his, just to move your legs in a way that you would be on top of him, both legs on his side.

After that, you kissed him again, your tasty lips being his temptation and his sweet dream. Jay's hand caressed your waist, making you fully sit down on top of him.

And with that you both started that night with a passionate fire.

Maybe something within you made things uncomfortable between the two of you, because after that, Jay started to realize that maybe you would never have a normal marriage, you both knew about it, but throughout this time, he just became more subconscious about the topic.

Your footsteps could be heard from downstairs, even though you were barefooted. A black blazer staring at you from the living room, resting at the sofa… Beside it were a few oversized sweatshirts that you wore all the time.

The smell of sweet honey and orange juice could be smelled around the house. Jay likes that smell, it was his second favorite, right after your scent and the taste of your lips, that cinnamon scent.

Even though he could feel the smell of his breakfast go through his nostrils, he was actually in a hurry, he'd actually been in a hurry since a month ago. You hadn't had the time to speak to him a lot like before and that saddened you, really deeply.

You heard the sound of his shoes through the stairs as you packed his lunch bag. It contained pancakes covered in honey and caramel, and his lunch, which was pasta salad.

Jay was already near the exit, with his bag already packed, so you sprinted with his lunch bag in your hands.

"Jay, here's your food." You said with a smile, but his face didn't express the same, it was as if he was bored, mad to say the least.

"Yeah, thanks." He grabbed the bag and opened the door in a hurry. "I'll see you at night." And with that, he left. You heard the sound of the car engine turning on, and then it drove through the streets.

"See you at night."

You whisper sounds depressive, it even caused you to feel dizzy.

He didn't even say goodbye, he didn't kiss your cheek as he always did… That's how it had been a few weeks ago.

And you wondered why you expected it to be different. You thought about that moment in the morning the whole day, even in the office, you couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Has Jay not answered your calls?" Your friend, Haewon was right behind you as you dialed your husband's number for the fourth time.

"No, he's being really busy these days." You rubbed your forehead in a little bit of stress. Recently, you felt really tired, dizzy, nauseous even. You knew that an upcoming deal with a foreign company was coming up, and you were stressed out, so that could be provoking your symptoms. "You've been busy and you still bother to call, you should talk to him. Didn't you say that he was really distant recently."

Actually, you were both distant, work had a lot to do, but also the fact that you couldn't take it anymore. Even when you acted like a couple, not being able to express the love you had for each other was a real deal breaker.

The days that you felt like telling him how much you missed him, you stayed away. The days he felt like telling you how beautiful you were, he looked away. The days where you felt like finally telling each other how much you loved the other, you both parted away.

You weren't ready to be fond of him, yet. Even though you already had strong feelings for him. What if something happened and you ended up heartbroken? You weren't a conventional couple, you were arranged married, and your fears were so big that you were incapable of getting too comfortable with him.

The sound of the telephone hanging was just the thing you needed. The way your mom called once again was not a surprise to you, but it was still tiring.

"How can you be so incompetent, so stupid?!"

"You are such a failure, I don't know how you still work here?"

"Such a high position in the company and you're still a fucking idiot!"

"You look really pale, Y/N. Do you need me to bring you something to eat, drink?" "Do you think you can bring me a peppermint lemonade, Haewonie?" She nodded as you muttered a 'thank you'.

The sound of your fingers touching the keyboard was enough to cause you a big headache. You knew you could continue at home, but things were too tense there for you to peacefully work at any space of the house.

"Here's your lemonade." "Thanks, Haewon." Your hand grabbed the lemonade, taking a quick sip, enjoying the flavor of sweet peppermint, but sour lemons.

"With Hanni and Isa we are going to a brand new restaurant that they opened last week. We heard that they have great caviar and side dishes. You should come with us, have a girl's night, get your mind free from work and from everything going on at home."

You thought about it, and it sounded really fun, but the least that you wanted was to go out and then remember that you had a lot of work to do.

"I would love to, but I have a lot of papers to check on, and I need to get everything ready for the next meeting. You know that I would go if I could." "Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll make sure that next time you are completely free so we can all be together."

You nodded, thanking her for being understanding.

By the end of the day, you drove your car towards your home, with eyes heavy and a tremendous nausea that was also brought to you with dizziness.

You pulled the car away from the road as you felt a curious vile rise up your throat wanting to escape your mouth.

The car door was flung open with desperation, your feet touched the grass as you felt the vile free itself out of your mouth and go straight into the natural floor.

You gagged as you felt how the remains of your food choked you. You felt as if the air was being cut out for you and that you would stop breathing at any moment.

As you finished, you let out a sharp breath and wiped your mouth with the end of your sleeve.

A few tears fell down your cheeks and blurred your view. The thought of sitting right beside your car became true, you let your legs rest on the ground and the back of your head felt the cold material of the vehicle.

It was such a weird feeling, you'd never thrown up before ever since you were eight years old. You started to analyze how your health had deteriorated a few weeks ago, you thought it was just a bug, or maybe it was just the huge amount of work that was causing problems on your body.

You kept on saying that you needed to rest and that you would do it, but that never happened and you always postponed it.

With the little strength that you had, you managed to get to your car and let your head fall against the driver seat. You felt a little bit relieved as you felt the nausea wave get out of your body.

It took you about fifteen minutes to take a turn back home. You drove back slowly, trying your best to prevent your stomach from getting upset.

When you reached home, you noticed that Jay's car wasn't there yet, which meant that he wasn't back home.

You felt your muscles relaxed as you felt the water coming from the shower fall into your shoulders. You got into a comfy pink sweater and a pair of shorts that made your skin fuzzy. And you combed your wet hair feeling a sudden pressure at the side of your head.

The fingertips of your hands applied some weight into your head trying to stop the possible migraine that was bothering your tired body.

You went through the night trying to distract yourself from the discomfort that you felt the whole day. Even let your phone ring a few times trying to call Jay, but he never actually answered.

You didn't feel that much appetite, so you avoided making dinner for yourself and just focused on your husband's.

But you waited for him to get home, and even though the time passed he still wasn't there with you. And that was maddening, because the only thing that you wanted was him to be there.

The clock was pointing at 11:46, and just by then Jongseong was arriving. The sound of the door closing woke you up, you had fallen asleep on the couch.

At least my headache's gone.

Jay noticed that the lights were on, he knew that you were waiting for him. He didn't want you to do that, you had enough at work and you needed to rest. At least, one of you had to be well-rested.

You rubbed your eyes in an attempt to draw the sleepiness away from your body. The numb feeling, soon running away from your limbs.

He reached the living room, the first thing he saw was your exhausted figure. Jay wondered why you were still awake… Did you wait for him?

"Hey, why are you still up?" Jay put his bag down beside one of the sofas.

Even the question was maddening. He was back at home so late and you waited for him even though you had been so distant.

"I was waiting for you to arrive."

Jay sighed with disappointment. "You shouldn't be waiting for me." He blurted out, which kind of confused you. "Why?"

He smirked in annoyance, he wasn't annoyed at you, or maybe he was.

Jay wanted you to admit that you loved him, just as much as you wanted him to do the same for you. He wanted to break the cycle of lies, he wanted to stop pretending that he didn't love you. Why did you both have to lie to each other?

Because it was so obvious that you couldn't tolerate it anymore.

"Y/N, why are you acting like you actually care about me?"

You furrowed your brows in confusion, also in annoyance… How could he say that? And why would he believe that?

Hadn't you shown how much you cared for him?! Wasn't all you had done for him enough?

You couldn't believe what he was saying.

"What are you saying? Have I actually not shown how much I care about you?!" You kept your voice at a normal level, you tried not to raise your voice, you tried your best to take the situation away from the worst. "Stop lying, Belle! We know that we are both liars in this situation!"

"And that's what maddens me, because we fake every single thing as if our marriage came out of a normal situation."

Your breath shrieked in despair, as your heart continued to crumble as if it was a piece of paper that you could ruin. Why are you doing this to me? That was the only thought that could go through your mind.

Tears threatened to escape your eyes, you looked to the side trying to prevent them from going any further.

Jay just stepped up closer to you, his own heart breaking as well, just as it was beating against his chest.

He was nervous...

He was scared.

All because he felt that things were falling apart.

"You said that you didn't want to get married to me if I didn't love you… But you are still here."

Jay's hand was placed on your chin, his whispers were enough to break you, to tear you apart in a million pieces.

"I asked you if you loved me… you said no, but you never asked if I loved you." You tried to hold in your sobs, but your shaky breaths betrayed you.

Something inside you was falling apart in rage. Where was all of this coming from?

Why was he telling you all of this? Why now?

"You've already proven me why I shouldn't have asked…" You spat your words in fury. "You are asking me if I actually care about you, but…"

"Have you ever actually cared about me?"

You grabbed his hand and slowly got it away from your chin. If you ever feared about being heartbroken, now you are more afraid about what would happen next instead of what would happen in the moment.

"Y/N." Just hearing your name slip out of his tongue shattered your heart into pieces. He was heartbroken as well, he was hurt and he was more than afraid, he was terrified.

He was disappointed with himself.

"Get your shit together, Jay."

The remainder of the night was tense, it was quiet and a little bit disturbing. Jay couldn't sleep, he knew that he'd messed up and he fully understood why you were mad at the moment.

He completely let himself go because of the hardship that he was feeling. Jay hated it, he despised that he knew that you loved him, but you wouldn't say, and he also despised the fact that he knew how much he loved you but he wouldn't say anything.

Was this how it was going to be forever?

Pretending that you didn't have feelings for the other just because you didn't want to get hurt. For some reason, that decision was the best that you could ever take, at least that's what you both thought.

Nobody will get hurt if something happens.

That's just bullshit!

As he wrecked his head with thoughts, you laid on the sofa, with a navy blue blanket covering your body. The least that you wanted was to sleep in the same bed as Jay, you didn't need that at the moment.

Throughout the night, you thought about your relationship with Jay. You've known each other ever since you were kids, and you love him with your whole heart, he made you feel things that you never thought that you could feel, the thought of marrying him was far from your mind, but when your families engaged you, something inside of you thought that you could make things work, you wanted a future with him, but at the same time you feared that loving him would break you at some point, all because it wasn't at your own will and it wasn't that you married at each other because of love.

The problem was, that if you kept up pretending you didn't love him, you would just hurt each other, and it was already happening.

You didn't notice at what time the morning came, your body shut down the moment that those thoughts hit your head. The sound of the air conditioner going off got to your senses, you pulled the blanket off your body, and your neck was stiffened from the uncomfortable position that you slept on.

The cold floor sent shivers down your spine as your feet made contact with the tiles, you got up, walking immediately towards the bathroom near the living room. You walked quickly trying your best to avoid Jay, but also trying your best to keep the vile that was rising up your throat.

You reached the bathroom, hitting your knees with the cold tiles as you threw up inside the bowl, something that you found impossible because your stomach was empty.

A huff escaped your mouth, you cleaned your lips with the back of your forearm, getting up with weak legs to walk towards the sink. A sudden but quick ring consumed your ears, and it left as fast as it came, your senses were altered, almost distressed.

You didn't understand a single thing of what was happening with your body, but your mind always came up with the same answer.

It's just stress, you thought, you brushed your teeth. Your limbs were wobbly, almost numb… But you still made your way to the kitchen after you finished washing your mouth.

The feeling that somebody was close to you, came in. Your heart leaped when you saw Jay in the kitchen, his almost tan skin came across your mind, he always had that scent every time he was close.

He always smelled elegant, luxurious, even mysterious sometimes.

It felt like a temptation being so close to him. And the way you sat on the counter chair was not helping, you bounced your barefoot leg as you looked at the material of the kitchen aisle, not wanting to look at him.

But still, you could feel the heat of his skin near you.

"Drink some water, you need to stay hydrated if you are losing fluids." He left a glass of water beside your arm, on the counter. You didn't even dare to look at him, but by the sound of the furniture moving, you could see what he was going to do. "Do you have a stomach bug or something? Have you gotten that chec-"

"I don't know why you're asking me this? I thought you didn't care." You raised your head to look at him, his sharp eyes looking into yours, making you want to look away.

"Y/N, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. You know that I do care about you." He said trying to get a hold of your arm, but you pulled away from him.

Deep down you knew that he did, he cared and he cared more than what he showed you, but you couldn't be like this anymore, continuing a lie that would only hurt the both of you.

"Something inside of me tells me that you do. But you are so distant, and we keep on lying to each other as if that is going to solve anything, and we both know that isn't doing anything anymore." Jay sat straight after hearing your words.

"Jay… I, Why do I keep feeling like this isn't working out?." Jay stood up from his seat, he was impressed with your words, words that he didn't want to hear. "W-What do you mean?"

"We are hurting each other and that's the least that I want, and I know you feel the same… But we are so blinded by each others' company that we haven't noticed that we truly aren't doing anything for our relationship, and that says a lot." "I thought that maybe we could make it work, but I feel like I'm in the wrong, here."

Were you saying that you wanted to be away from him? Was he truly hurting you that bad?

Jay's mind was completely wrecked, he clenched his jaw trying to keep away his tears, just as you… he wanted to make things work, because he truly did see a future by your side.

You were all he wanted.

He was all you wanted.

But if that was what you wished, then he wasn't going to say otherwise, because that's how much he loved you.

"Maybe you are right, maybe this isn't working out, because I really don't wanna hurt you and I know that you don't want to hurt me."

Your heart broke, because you truly weren't expecting him to agree with you, you wanted him to fight for you and finally tell you how much he loved you, but your mind knew that he was going to agree with you.

"Being together just feels wrong at this point."

"But what if we make it work out." He said hopeful. "I don't know, Jay."

Your heart hit your chest with intensity, you were still hoping that things would get better, but at that point it just felt something completely impossible.

To be clear, you had to continue with your day as if nothing happened, pretending that your relationship wasn't crumbling down and your heart wasn't shattered into a million pieces.

Heeseung kept looking at your saddened expression, knowing that you were down, and he kept an eye on you throughout the ride to the office.

He asked a few times if you were okay, but you always responded with a smile, repeating that you were fine.

Even Juni noticed your state, you felt numb and confused, if you truly loved someone how could you suggest such thing. Maybe it was because you simply couldn't tolerate the fact that you were being lied to.

In comparison to you, Jay was stressed. He didn't want things to go this way, you were everything that he dreamed of, and ever since he was a kid, he imagined a future with you. Yes, he was in a relationship with you, but it wasn't what he had always wished for.

He wanted to be one of the reasons you smiled, not one of the reasons why you hurt. Jay couldn't concentrate on his work, and he couldn't stop thinking about how hungry he was. Shit, he truly did miss your cooking!

You placed a foot on your doorstep and you felt the need to throw up, it was becoming a normal occurrence, it had happened twice at work, and that was the second time you did it at home ever since the morning.

The sink water was heavy for your stomach, but really cool and nice for your face, you washed it a few times, before finally heading out of the bathroom and getting into some comfier clothes.

It felt so nice when you got off your pleaded skirt and your white shirt, your tennis shoes were also a little bit tight, but you didn't pay that much attention to it.

Just when you were rising up your shorts, the bedroom door opened, revealing a tired Jay, trying to take off his tie. He turned his head to the right out of impression, feeling a little bit nervous .

Embarrassed, you quickly pulled your shorts up, lowering your head in a timid manner, before heading towards the door. "Sorry, I shouldn't even be ashamed, but this is very uncomfortable."

"Don't be sorry, I should've knocked." You brushed his fingers in reassurance. "None of us should be sorry, we've seen each other naked, anyways." You mentioned the last thing, in an attempt to make things better.

Jay looked in your way, just as you started to let go of your shyness. You noticed how his tie was hanging lower, and some of the buttons of his shirt were open, showing a little bit of his chest and the marks of his clavicles. He saw your black hair covering some parts of your arms, tank top that showed a slight part of your abdomen, and the cotton gray shorts that covered your thighs.

His skin looked beautiful with the dim warm light of your bedroom, and his fingers slightly brushed with your skin. You didn't notice that you were so close to him, how his gaze softened when he looked into your eyes and you noticed the little line at the middle of his lower lip, you always liked it, he had it since he was in high school.

Jay felt the blood rushed through his veins as he felt you closer to him. You could only think that if those were going to be the last days that you spent together as a "normal" couple, you should at least be able to feel his skin a few more times.

"Why do I keep feeling that this is wrong?" He murmured, as you got so close that you could feel his warmth breath. "At least, if I'm going to hurt while we are together, I wanna do it right." You whispered in his ear, looking at him once again. "I don't want you to hurt, Belle." His hand caressed your cheek, pretty fingers lingering on your skin. "But I want you to love my body, as if you just hurt me."

There had always been a difference between lust and love, even though you both didn't express the love for the other, you always felt a feeling of lust towards him, just like he did for you.

Maybe your relationship wasn't working out, but you felt a magnetic reaction towards him, something that made you look his way even if things were going wrong.

That was the lustful feeling that consumed your body.

"...At least just tonight, Jay." You whispered, knowing deep down that if you had sex with him that night, it would become a cycle until you finally came to a conclusion of what you wanted to do with your relationship. Your breath was hitched, as the air going through your lungs was heavy and slow. "You sure that's what you want?"

You felt his lips brush against your forehead, his palm making contact with your wrist.

"Yes."

His lips kissed your forehead, just for him to go down and focus on your neck, he gave tender kisses on that area of your skin, sometimes he sucked the points that he knew were sensitive.

You could only grab the ends of his hair as you felt those nice sensations, and how some of your senses started to blur a little.

Sometimes, your tummy felt butterflies flying around as he kept a hand on your neck, now paying full attention to the soft flesh of your lips, kissing them hard, leaving them red and kinda swollen.

You leaned on a wall, letting all of the feelings come to you, his kisses, how his hand was grabbing your neck, while the other kept itself on your waist.

Your tricky hands grabbed his tie, looking into his eyes knowing very well that his heart had just skipped a beat just like yours already did. You somehow undid his tie, throwing it to the side, and then proceeded to unbutton the rest of his shirt, leaving the top of his chest uncovered, his pretty skin glowing because of the beads of sweat.

"You are going to be the end of me, Belle." Jay whispered, kissing you once again, keeping his hand in your neck, as you placed yours on his shoulders, slowly taking his blazer off, letting it fall on the floor.

That night, you knew that this was going to be a common occurrence until one of you had to break off the relationship.

Because the morning after that, Jay offered to take you to your office, just for you to hook up in the car before he finally drove you off to your workplace.

When you arrived back home, you would both make out as if it was the last time that you would see the other.

You hurt most of the time, feeling that this was the most that you could have with, sexual intimacy just to compensate for the hurt that you felt, and the sadness that would consume you.

For the next few weeks, this was your new normal, you would both have a few words before you finally had intimacy. And clearly, to be honest, Jay's heart ached with sorrow, but also passion.

How was it that you could make your intimacy work, but not your relationship?

That's what he always wondered for the past few weeks.

A few days before your family reunion, you arrived home late, and you noticed that Jay was there already, his car parked on the sideway.

When you entered the house, you took off your shoes at the entrance. You brushed your hands with your skirt, because of how could it was outside, you threw up on your way back to your house, so the air had definitely affected a little bit of your body

Then, you heard it.

"I really don't want to get a divorce, but I feel like this isn't working out."

Jay wanted to say how much it hurt him that he could feel your body with every single touch, but not your heart.

"Y/N said she knew things weren't working out, and I know she's hurting because of me, and that's the opposite that I want for her."

"I want her to be happy and to not stick to a relationship that will only burn us down."

You didn't know what was worse, the fact that your relationship was now based on just sex, because you wanted a part of him to be with you, or was it the fact that Jay wanted you away from his life completely.

What hurt more was the fact that he mostly was doing it because of you, and you weren't going to beg for him to stay, because you knew that you needed to be apart.

"You want a divorce?"

Jay heard your fragile voice coming from the living room, he knew there was no turning back now.

He hung up the phone, surprised by you and your sorrowful expression.

"Y/N…"

"You don't have to say anything, I understand." You would be lying if you said that your heart wasn't shattered, and that there weren't tears slipping down your cheeks.

Until then, you would love your bodies, as if you had just hurt the other.

That's what you thought it would be.

Because you both just did.

2K notes · View notes

iambicpentameterhamster · 4 months

Text

What i think of you based on your favourite Six of Crows character

Matthias Helvar:

You probably read a lot in the fantasy genre and take yourself too seriously (no offense) probably busy daydreaming about profound things and writing poems that you'll eventually delete. You love bleak and gritty stories and you listen to Coldplay, Conan Gray or The Tortured Poets Department. No shade though, you guys are probably great friends with value for loyalty. In summary, i think you're all either really intense and ernest or totally shy and quiet. You're probably heterosexual to be honest.

Nina Zenik:

I think people who's favourite is Nina don't tend to be much like her in real life, but are the type of people that would really want to befriend her. I'd say you're more introverted and quietly friendly, but then you act totally different and comfortable with the right friends. Technically disapproving of gossip, but turn into Regina George if the rumour is juicy enough- secretly judgemental but it all comes out to your best friends. You have a good sense of humour and probably quite a cynical/pessimist mindset overall. I know you like campy films like Legally Blonde and Clueless. Oh, and your favourite subject is definately history.

Inej Ghafta:

If you're drawn to the steady and honest beat of Inej's thoughts, I think you're quite an anxious or scattered person who enjoys how safe and comforting she feels as a character. I'd say you're a sensitive person with a keen eye for colour and art. Your favourite chapters in SOC are definately the backstory and romance chapters. You cry often at films and music and just when you feel bittersweet or happy. You have Hozier, Mitski or Radiohead on your playlists. You're either artsy smart or english smart, there's no way your a science/maths kinda person.

Wylan Van Eck:

This one is split. You're either one of those people that infantalises and simplifies his character and reduces both him and Jesper to their ship and nothing else, OR you're literally the best person ever. If you're the latter, you're probably super empathetic and appreciate depth as well as a good laugh, and i severley doubt you yourself enjoy maths and chemistry despite loving that look for Wylan. I've also never met a Wylan stan who wasn't a HARDCORE fan of SOC in general. You guys are the loudest complainers about Shadow and Bone being cancelled, and honestly, power to you. I bet your room is a bombsite right now too- pick up those dirty clothes, for christ sake.

Kaz Brekker:

All Kaz Brekker fans are somewhat infatuated with him. Your favourite chapters/scenes are absolutely the action and sexual tension scenes. All about high stakes and excitement, and you love to be surprised. That or you have a big thing for the bad boy trope. I think you have "dark achademia" or grunge-ey pinterest boards that don't match your real life style. I also think you think chess and piano are really sexy but play neither yourself. You and your friends probably read terrible Wattpad stories for a joke. Generally, you're somehow relaxed and simultaneously intense as fuck. 70% of you are Queer women/ nb people, other 30% are intensely heterosexual.

Jesper Fahey:

You have Queen on your playlist. Queen or Gorillaz. You're probably a quite casual person who is taken with Jesper's charm and humour, and you appreciate the comedic relief as you don't enjoy too much grit and heavy stuff with no humour breaks. But despite being not the most sensitive person in the world, Jesper's backstory caught you off guard and it HURT. I think you love comedies and action, you're decent at school and you're quite popular with a good circle of friends. A social person. Potential theatre kid, but minor roles/tech, and the only musical you really like is Hamilton lmao. You are generally a funny person, but you've definately experienced that moment where you tell a joke and nobody laughs.

Anybody else:

Non-existent.

OH AND ALSO, KAZ AND WYLAN FANS ARE THE ONES WHO WRITE ALL OF THE FANFICTION

#six of crows #grishaverse #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #inej ghafa

105 notes · View notes

judasgot-it · 1 year

Note

Hihi!! So uh, Im not sure if your requests are open or not but, could you write a Dazai x GN!reader fic based on the song "Memories"by Conan Gray? If your requests aren't open then thats fine anyways have a nice day! :D

oh we are so ON I fucking love abusing Dazai. Also sorry about this one dude I am like going THROUGH IT but dw I'm getting better

also btw song recommendations cause I was also listening to it when writing this fic:

Bad Man - Alex G

Memories - Conan Gray

Scenario: Ex! Dazai coming back to the reader over and over again.

You didn't know how you felt.

A million feelings passed through your heart as you gazed through the glass, staring straight into the hallway.

Of course the bastard chose now to come here, at fuck off o'clock, when he could have done it at any other time.

"Y/n. Please let me in."

His voice was quiet. Defeated.

It was fake, you had to keep reminding yourself of that.

He was playing it all up. An act.

You didn't want to let yourself open the door.

It was cruel to leave him out in the rain.

You looked out the window again. The bastard was still there, staring blankly at your door. He knew how to look miserable.

Like a wet, abandoned dog.

Fucker.

"Dazai. Go home. Please."

You hoped he heard you. Resting your head against the door, you waited for him to respond.

Knocks.

He knocked three times. You could feel his knucks rap against the door, impatient.

You sighed. It was hopeless. He wouldn't give up.

"Y/n. Please."

His face was more miserable than you imagined as you swung the door open. His wet hair was pressed against his forehead, his eyebrows furrowing so deep they nearly hid his mocha eyes. The way he stared at you made you want to run away - it was intense, something more than human.

The only thing that blocked him from your home was your body. He stepped towards you. A small one, where you could see the rain dripping from his body start to leech onto your carpet.

You averted his gaze and stepped aside, letting him walk inside freely.

This would end the same as it always did.

"Close the door, I'll get you a towel."

Keeping your gaze anywhere else but him, you walked inside of your house, letting him inside. He was quiet as he got comfortable, but it grated on your ears - how he knew where to put his shoes, how he stepped right into your kitchen, sitting in the same seat he always sat in.

There was a corner seat along your kitchen bar, dedicated just for him. One that had a chair that wobbled as he sat upon it, creaking with his weight.

He was sitting in your home as if he belonged there.

It forced you to stare back at him, as he stared at the painting on your wall, his hair dripping all over your tiled floor.

His coat was hung on the coat rack, as if it belonged there.

"I'm making tea."

Maybe if you ignored him, he would go away. Like a recurring nightmare where you could never run away fast enough.

Unfortunately, his presence was a little too big to be ignored. Like his cologne, with the way it smelled as sweet as a rotting body, forcing you to feel him through all of your senses.

"Y/n, I'm sorry for what I said."

"I don't want to hear that. I meant what I said last time. It's over Dazai, we're over."

You didn't let him look into your eyes as you kept your eyes on the kettle, using it as a sort of shield. At this point you were hoping he would be stupid to come behind you, so then you could throw it at him. Then you could see him have a reason to finally use the bandages covering his skin.

The exhaustion was getting to you. The idiot was wearing you down, he knew how to make people break.

It was easy to give him the satisfaction.

"I really do love you. You mean everything to me."

A deep breath. The air filled your lungs, making you realize that you had hunched over a little too much. Picking your head up, you got the bravery to look Dazai in the face again.

He truly looked pathetic, his wet hair plastered to his cold skin.

But his eyes looked as dead as ever. You couldn't see anything past them.

These really were just words to him.

"If you cried would it mean anything to you anymore?"

Dazai blinked at you. He slowly raised his eyebrow, giving you a moment to rethink your sentence.

You kept your face calm. The wait felt like walking through hell.

"I meant what I said Y/n."

He repeated his words, ignoring what you said entirely. There was a small smile on his face, as if that would change the situation at all.

Tonight would end the same as it always had. You tried to change the ending but Dazai was imperiable to your efforts. He was wearing you down like an old kitchen knife.

"I meant what I said too, Dazai. You need to leave."

You could feel how hard he hit his own face, as if punishing himself for the rejection. The laughter that shook his wet body was nearly mechanical - a little too loud for what the room could ever call for.

Dazai truly looked strange as he shook in his chair - his chair, as no one else could claim a chair that was bound to break at a moment's notice.

"Please, Y/n. Please. Stop. Why do you do this to me?"

He leaned his back against the wall, with only two legs on the ground. Like a child, he rocked like that, back and forth.

"Please, please, please. I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry. I'm here and I'm sorry. I'll let you kick me, I-"

He hit his head against the back of the wall, making a sound you'd rather not hear again from the man.

"I'll do anything. I'll let you kick me, spit on me. I'll be your dog for as long as you want, I'll beg. I'm begging right now Y/n, just please! I need you, I'm not anything without you."

He was crying, his voice great at lying. His face was too.

But his eyes still looked dead. It was all fodder.

The light behind his eyes, if you can ever even recall there ever being one, was out. All that was staring at you were two dead marbles. They had no destination, their game having ended long ago.

"I don't know why I let you in here."

The kettle began to scream. Your body ran to shut the heat off, for a second successfully ignoring Dazai.

You found yourself watching your hands as they automatically pulled out two sets of cups, getting ready to your tea. You had to force yourself to stop as you looked back at Dazai, still in his claimed spot.

He didn't live here anymore.

"I thought you were making tea?"

You stared at him, looking back to the box of tea on your counter. It was waiting for the two of you, like it always had after your fights.

A peace offering, even after the worst of them.

"No. Dazai, I'm sorry."

It was horrible, the way your voice began to choke. You tried to swallow it at first, but it felt futile.

"I can't keep doing this, Dazai. It's over. You have to go home."

It was frustrating - how you had tears welling up in your eyes, how your face began to swell. But it was worth saying.

"We can talk it out Y/n. I know I messed up, but I promise we can be better next time. We can work it out!"

"Get out. Please, just get out."

You turned away from him, putting away his mug in the cabinet.

Your mug. You bought it, with your money.

"While you're at it, go get your things that you haven't bothered to pick up."

Doing the best you could, you kept your back turned away from him, making your own cup of tea. Just the way you liked it, without bothering to think of how he liked his.

It left half of a kettle of hot water left. You elected to ignore it still.

It took a good minute or two as you waited for Dazai to get the message. He was sitting in that chair, waiting for you to get the mug out, to pour him a drink again.

Instead, you found the view of your blank wall much more interesting.

In your mind it was between nothing and forever when he finally stood up - knowing the way around your apartment and grabbing the items he quite possibly left on purpose, and to the time he got to the door.

He didn't leave just yet. The door didn't open.

"It's still raining."

He said that, waiting for you to respond.

Your eyes had drawn the face of Steve Jobs on the wall instead, trying your best to ignore him. It was hard too, since you could feel the tears rolling down your cheeks in waves.

It took forever when he had finally cleared his throat, taking one step towards the door. You didn't respond.

It was a long moment between that step and the next.

Then the next. And the next. And another.

The door clicked open after that, closing rather loudly. The loudest Dazai's lack of a presence ever felt in your life.

ok I think I'm finally done doing sad angsty stuff with Dazai. It's just too damn easy ! (I say this when I had this in my drafts for MONTHS)

#dazai x y/n #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #bsd dazai #sorry yall but IM WORKING THERE I SWEAR ON IT !!!

153 notes · View notes

masterdetectivexx · 20 days

Note

Hi !

The current case is a quite complicated, if you read last file could you give us your thoughts on it, who is the culprit.. also what about kazuha she is acting very strange this case

Last but not least, do you think the confession will happen or not

File 1129-1132 Review

Here's a promised early review of the recent big Osaka case that includes a case deduction. I have thoroughly been enjoying this serial murder case, as well as all the past references, character reappearances and the Heizuha confession plot that has been building through out.

Case Deduction

I think this serial murder is slightly more nuanced, in that there is not only one mastermind behind all the elements involved, but rather two.

I think the culprit behind the actual murders is Kuraishi Youka (the actress behind Ootsuka Kaede [Momiji role]). I suspect that she killed Narasawa (first victim) after fighting over Narasawa threatening to use Kuraishi's past conflict with the thugs 8 years ago (that lead to Anzaka killing a person and hurting his own reputation) into making Kuraishi give up her role so she could have a better chance with Anzaka.

Narasawa probably found out from Kakiwaki Ayari (second victim) that her love rival's (Kuraishi's) weakness was that she feels responsible for damaging Anzaka's reputation, and Kakiwaki was most likely the one who shared the screenshot of the news article (File 1132).

I suspect that Kakiwaki was killed because she figured out that Kuraishi was behind Narasawa's death, since Narasawa died soon after she shared that info about Kuraishi with her. Kakiwaki likely threatened that she would expose her unless she followed her demands, hence why she said to the police that she "has forgotten" [won't tell] who the love rival of Narasawa was unless it serves her (File 1130).

I also suspect however that the other layer behind killing Kakiwaki, and especially Nagakubo Nobuya, is that they might have had nefarious plans of orchestrating a death to not only boost the mystic and intrigue for the play, but also further their careers at the expense of Kuraishi and Anzaka, building on the marionette devil's curse (File 1129)

This would fit with how Kakiwaki was happily hoping for another murder to take place after Kabumoto (as if she has things in store) (File 1129).

So in short, this whole serial murder started with Kuraishi trying to protect Anzaka from the cast members who wanted to do him harm and she was planning to turn herself into the final victim (commit suicide), and I also suspect she was planning on framing Yoshiura for the murders, since she probably blamed him for not helping de-escalating the thug-fight Anzaka went through 8 years ago that hurt him and rather just filmed the whole incident (File 1132). Kuraishi might have also heard what Yoshiura said about himself, Nagakubo & Kakiwaki taking over the role of Heichi, Daigorou and Kaede (which was because he knew about Anzaka's deteriorating health from the incident 8 years ago that was gonna limit his activities) (File 1130) and it could have made her view him just as inconsiderate as the rest of the cast members.

This would explain why Yoshiura was always stuck in the bathroom with a bad stomach without alibi for all the murders (as if someone could have messed with his disgestive system) (File 1131) as well as why he was suddenly gone from the bathroom at the end of File 1132 (as if he could have been called to Naniwa Harukas observation deck to get framed for Kuraishi's suicide as she shows him the view from the top that he once showed her and Anzaka 8 years ago).

So now, at the end of File 1132, Conan and Heiji have ambushed Kuraishi as she is about to turn herself into the final victim and expecting Yoshiura to arrive and get framed for it.

Now, I think the tricky part of this case is that the Semaphore codes and phone messages left in the crime scene were actually not left by Kuraishi, but rather the only person who was mostly the first person present near the bodies, Anzaka Tenma (File 1132).

Anzaka immediately realized after Narasawa's fall that she was likely killed by his former schoolmate, Kuraishi, which is why he wanted to stop his mother from revealing that he was the first person to innocently encounter the crime scene (File 1132).

This explains why Nagakubo got the impression that Anzaka was first to arrive, but somehow pretended to arrive later (File 1130),... because just after fixing up Narasawa's body into a semaphore code, he ran up to the highest floor in order to drop her phone from the roof with the fake message from the Marionette devil (Kabumoto's curse), which Conan and Heiji later discovered (File 1129).

This also coincides well with Kuraishi's intense reaction to all the messages to the point of fainting and losing her cool, which made Heiji suspect that she is hiding something. All of her words so far while fearing Kabumoto's curse has directly been confessing that she has been responsible and that the murders will not stop unless she dies (File 1129-1131).

Anzaka's messages weren't however to scare her or give her guilt for the murders he predicted she would commit. I suspect that he predicted she was gonna kill Kakiwaki and Nagakubo right after Narasawa, and that she was gonna end all the murders with her as the final death (by suicide). This is why Anzaka wrote on the phone "two more to go" after Kakiwaki's death, and he wanted to convey with "from shimote" that when you gather all the letters of the semaphore codes ("E", "V", "I" and the predictable "L"), that you are supposed to read the message from the right (rather than stage right, as Heiji deduced), and so rather than "EVIL", he is trying to spell the message "LIVE" for Kuraishi, as in that she shouldn't commit suicide after Nagakubo's death (File 1132).

As for how Anzaka was able to leave a semaphore code using Kakiwaki's corpse despite her falling while he was asleep upstairs (File 1131), it's most likely due to the timing of her death getting fabricated. After Anzaka had discovered Kakiwaki dead on the ground (as he predicted), he formed the semaphore code with her corpse and then went upstairs to nap and asked Kuraishi to wake him up in 30 min.

When Kuraishi arrived to wake Anzaka up, the missing recording of Kakiwaki's scream from a previous play (File 1132) was then made to sound as if it was getting further away to mimic the scream of a falling person, from outside the balcony (for example, by making it so that the volume gradually gets lowered), and then followed by a landing "thud" sound, ultimately resulting in giving both Anzaka and Kuraishi an alibi for Kakiwaki's death. The framed certificate on the wall for the previous play might have been removed to not remind anyone about Kakiwaki's recorded scream amidst the police investigation.

Since Anzaka expected Kuraishi to come alone, I'm leaning towards Kuraishi being the one who fabricated the timing of Kakiwaki's fall and intentionally brought Heiji and Conan with her as witnesses for her and Anzaka to gain an alibi (File 1130).

As for Nagakubo's death, while Kuraishi most likely was scared by Kabumoto's curse, her plan was most likely exactly as Conan proposed, that she shouted to get Nagakubo's attention from the rooftop so he would lean on the railing that were corroded by liquid gallium and fall to his death (File 1132).

Confession

I predict that Kazuha is gonna be the one to confess her feelings to Heiji, as foreshadowed by how Osamu Kenzaki's fiancé Takeno Yuki proposed to him in Naniwa Harukas Observation deck, in order for Gosho to subvert the predictable planned confession attempts by Heiji that have constantly failed (File 1129-1131).

It's unfortunate that Momiji hasn't had an opportunity to be present through out this whole case, but since she was said to be busy with a Karuta match (File 1129), it's not unlikely that she could make an appearance in the resolution chapter just in time to interrupt Heiji from getting a chance to reply to Kazuha's confession.

Kazuha has however had other plans in mind. It seems like she has been planning to surprise Ran with something (File 1129), and though she got scolded for remaining involved with a case for that reason by her mother, and then later having her father Toyama Ginshiro appear sternly to also make sure she listens to her mother (File 1132), despite getting a little discouraged, Kazuha persistently goes ahead and tries to bring Ran to Naniwa Harukas observation deck (as planned by Heiji), as if her surprise for Ran can still be achieved over there.

From the way Kazuha has acted, it seems like her surprise for Ran is very detached from Heiji, so if she is ultimately gonna confess to Heiji in the resolution chapter, it's very likely gonna be a spur-of-the-moment confession like Shinichi's in London. In that case, it could mean that her surprise for Ran might get resolved after her confession to Heiji, and if the reply to her confession indeed gets interrupted by Momiji who arrives just in time after the Karuta match, then I could see all of this culminating into something like Momiji playing a role in Ran's surprise, like for example Kazuha and Momiji having planned a trip/event for Ran's upcoming birthday, since they are her friends. This would turn it all into a truly wholesome twist, and it could also set up an aftermath case where Momiji has to beat Kazuha into confessing to Heiji and get his reply before he gives his reply to Kazuha's confession, and subsequently more ShinRan developments and even a potential Shinichi reappearance.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this long case and I couldn't be more excited for the resolution. It's nice to finally have Ginshiro appear again (for the first time during Rum arc) after so long and I'm especially excited to find out what Kazuha's mother's personality and character is like after the recent reveal that she is an Ex-elite agent of the Osaka police's firearms control unit (File 1131).

#detective conan #Heizuha confession #heiji hattori #kazuha toyama #edogawa conan #mouri ran #kudo shinichi #ooka momiji #Osaka naniwa harukas #case deduction #marionette devil #file 1129 #file 1130 #file 1131 #file 1132 #confession

19 notes · View notes

spirits-art-blog · 4 months

Text

Redraws of some of my favorite Conan/Shinichi expressions so far! I'll likely be making more posts like this cus this show is filled with really good expressions and poses that I really want to draw. Honestly this show needs more moments like the ones above, its such a good visual gag.

For those who don't know, I'm watching this show completely blind so please keep spoilers out of this post; as of posting this, I have just finished ep 289.

Gonna get into some of my current thoughts and critiques in the read more cus I don't really want to make a separate text post so feel free to avoid all of that if you don't want to see it and I hope you enjoyed the art :)

Disclaimer: These critiques should be taken lightly as they don't really impede my enjoyment as overall the show is great! I just like to share my thoughts and ramble.

286-288 is actually kind of a good summary for some of the things I dislike about the show, like sorry if people like that case but Shinichi and Yukiko being there unfortunately did not make it less meh for me.

I usually try to keep in mind that shows like this weren't intended for an american/english-speaking audience but man, New York is such a bad setting for this show. Even if you ignore the actual voice acting, its jarring how the americans just, stop speaking english. I really wanna know what the bts situation was to make them decide that, like sure 3 episodes is a lot, but its hard to believe these new yorkers, besides 2 cops and a taxi driver, are speaking Japanese.

Other thoughts go to the end with the murderer of the case and the disguised killer. Not sure how to word this exactly but it kind of bothers me how this is, I think, the first time we've gotten a murderer who's backstory isn't about some misfortune that happened to them that was caused by the victim, like nah, she was just evil, and then later Shinichi and Ran stop a serial killer from falling to their death, like what? Especially with these two scenes practically being back to back, I just don't get why they did that. Idk just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Anyways on a lighter note, loved seeing Ran's thoughts throughout the episode, especially at the end, like I love internal conflict for characters, and it works for Ran as well since falling for that 'you helped cause this' fear is pretty consistent with her.

And lastly I wanna share some thoughts I've had about the show cus I don't know where to put them. That being said, I really wish they had some episodes early on that explored more of the dynamics between characters and Shinichi's transition into Conan. Like the idea of a rich 16-17 year old being stuck as a 6-7 year old who now lives with his not girlfriend and has to go back to first grade is such a dramatic change, no way that situation wasn't hard to get used to. Unfortunately, I'm more than far enough into this show to know they aren't going to do anything like that. And besides very small moments that spawned headcanons for me, there isn't much going on relationship wise either. After episode 3, the dynamics between the characters was set and hasn't really changed too much, which is a little sad imo.

I'll stop rambling for now, apologies with how discoherent this is, translating my thoughts into words has never been my strong suit.

#Detective Conan #Shinichi Kudo #Conan Edogawa #agh i typed for too long #next time I'm just gonna give my brain a break and start gushing about my favorite characters from this show

27 notes · View notes

weeb-polls-with-pip · 9 months

Text

Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 8

Propaganda:

Itsuki -

"Does things in ways the protagonist sees as strange and talks in a very formal and roundabout way. He also talks with his hands a lot. He has admitted to faking his personality to be more to Haruhi Suzumiya's liking in both the main timeline and the timeline where he's an ordinary human."

Akira -

"Akira cares deeply for animals maybe even more than other people, he’s completely oblivious to the fact both his best friends are in love with him and when he fuses with a demon to become a demon hunter he calls himself Devilman because he’s a demon and a man at the same time."

Yukiteru -

"Yuki is incredibly socially awkward but also has a knack for befriending odd people, he writes everything he sees in his diary and is super dedicated to keeping the format exactly the same every time oh and did I mention his ‘imaginary friend’ is a science themed god?"

Haru -

"He's really into the patterns of storytelling, and his goal in life is to be a "protagonist". Once he becomes an Appli Driver, he places a lot of his self-worth in being a protagonist and the role he fulfills (which, in my opinion, is a type of script-following) and he winds up in a bad place when he realizes him being a protagonist was built on a lie. He spends all of his free time reading & sometimes gets so invested in reading that he skips out on social activities (and lets his 2ft monster (Gatchmon) go trick-or-treating in broad daylight all on their own). He always has the same pair of goggles on his head but wears them maybe once. His buddy Appmon (digimon partners are often reflections of their human partners) is basically the personification of a search engine and will go on tangents about whatever they've looked up."

Mio -

"Has special interests in ancient medicines and photography. Abstract thoughts and oblivious to social norms. Resists change (example: reacted negatively to the schools curry being unavailable since that is his possible safe food). Other characters notes him as being strange. Poor reasoning (example: Thinks it more efficient to just take supplements instead of eating). Ignores other in pursuit of his interests."

Akira Agarkar -

"A 25 year old man who works for a government agency named D.U.C.K., where flamboyant/eccentric people investigate aliens, and goes undercover as a highschooler to gain information about Haru; doing a poor job of trying to blend in. He is a quirky silly man and his best friend is a duck named Tapioca who he talks to. He also has a special interest in fishing and gets so excited by it that he sometimes yells "FIIIIIIISHH" in English when he reels them in. Bad puns upset him so much that he is physically incapacitated and lies on the floor. What else can I say, I love him."

Kaiji -

"Can't tell when he's being tricked by other characters, and sees human connection as pointless because of how isolated he feels. Says that other see him as weird and that 'being difficult' is easier for him than acting like someone he isn't."

Shou -

"His special interest is math. He uses math terms in regular conversations and calls people yoctograms/zeptograms which earned him monikers such as "math man" and "pi-face". Speaking of Pi, he once shouted 155 consecutive digits of it through a megaphone just because he could. He's so normal."

Saguru -

"high school detective who shows up to crime scenes in full sherlock holmes cosplay because this is totally a normal thing one does, right?"

Souji -

"this lonely genius used to be a computer-like man, now he's a (tragic) villain. the bisexual who swings both ways and misses both times, he's associated with insects/butterflies, flowers/black roses, anachronism, beautiful memories, elevators, and coffins- but who in SKU isn't, really? oh, and fire. he's also voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru at his raspy best."

81 notes · View notes

anxious-al · 4 months

Text

Magic Kaito & Dead Boy Detectives

Okay I might be overanalyzing but since it was called out by name I wanna talk about how Magic Kaito allows us to deepen our understanding of Niko.

I might be explaining this badly but Magic Kaito is about Kaito Kuroba who has an alter ego as master thief Kaitou Kid. He does heists to try and steal this gem that the organization that killed his dad wants (side note his dad was the former Kaitou Kid). Kaito's clever kid, he's good at magic tricks, he's very confident in himself (he sends letters to the police detailing his heists), and ultimately isn't a bad guy cause he returns the items that he stole, as they aren't the gem. Kaitou Kid has appeared in Detective Conan a few times as an antagonist to Conan.

Now how can this connect to Dead Boy Detectives, more specifically Niko? First of all, since Magic Kaito is connected to Detective Conan we see more of Niko's enjoyment of detective media (of course she also loves Scooby Doo). Niko's consumption of detective media reveals her desire to be a detective, explaining her excitement when learning Edwin and Charles are detectives. Additionally, Niko shows respect to one of the antagonists of DBDA, the Cat King. Despite Kaitou Kid acting as an antagonist in Detective Conan, he possesses redeeming qualities, such as returning his stolen items, and serves as the protagonist of his own story. This connects to Niko's respect for the Cat King as it shows how Niko can have respect and empathy for supposed antagonistic figures. Furthermore, there's an interesting parallel between Kaito and Niko as they have both lost their father. When Kaito loses his father he assumes his father's role as the Kaitou Kid and makes an effort to destroy the gem the organization wants. Niko expresses a desire to bring her father back when talking to the Night Nurse. Could be interesting in a season 2 to dive further into Niko's grief for her father and how that affects her journey from the igloo back to the agency.

Apologies if I explained Magic Kaito badly, I have never read or watched it (tho now I definitely want to). If anyone has additional connections feel free to share! I'd love to hear more! I also linked the only 2 posts I could find about this mention in Dead Boy Detectives as I was surprised people weren't talking about it.

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #niko sasaki #niko my beloved #detective conan #magic kaito #kaitou kid #am I overanalyzing? probably #but im from the good omens fandom so this is what ive been taught by my fandom elders #this took so long #probably because I had never heard of magic kaito before and was going into this completely blind #and then writing this all out was a nightmare #if you have any thoughts do feel free to say them!#cant believe only 2 other posts were talking about this #dbda

26 notes · View notes

williamrikers · 1 year

Text

The Undeniable Queerness of Enchanté the Series

(thank you @ranchthoughts for letting me ramble about this in your inbox before turning my thoughts into a post)

there are bls and then there are bls. right? there are dead fish kisses and there are characters who kiss each other like their lives depend on it.

and enchanté firmly belongs in the second category. 1,500-word essay under the cut.

there is such a consistent and tangible queer undercurrent to everything that's happening on this show and i'm not just talking about the fact that several scenes look like they could be the opening scene of a gay porno. or the surprise bondage. or force in drag. or proposing marriage in front of the eiffel tower. no, there's this aching, desperate desire underlying everything. theo has--in addition to his main love interest--four very hot gay suitors who all very obviously desire him carnally... this is some sort of gay manic pixie dream boy wish fulfilment fantasy and i am absolutely eating it up.

there is a vibe to the show that @ranchthoughts called "fanfic-like", and i would argue that that's because enchanté is actually fanfiction of the little prince. (i'm planning on making a separate post soon about how the book was referenced on and used as inspiration for the show.)

enchanté is fully aware of its own fictionality. it is on-the-nose fictional. but that's what makes it so much fun--it's not trying to be something it isn't.

take the reading memories segments in episode 4 [3/4] for example: these scenes were incredibly cringe, like, full-on bad-green-screen terrible-costumes-and-wigs hilarious-acting cringe, but fully aware of their own cringe-ness. (also, gawin was both in drag and naked in the same scene as two different characters, like. get on enchanté's level.) (incidentally, can anyone tell me what character aou/phupha was supposed to be? i got detective conan, monkey d. luffy and momotarō for the others, but i'm stumped on phupha's character.)

and that self-awareness makes it camp! there is such a level of camp to the whole show which feels extremely intentional (especially in the first two thirds), almost like a meta-commentary: "this is the genre. we know it's stupid but we love it here", and i adore that. they know the tropes, they know the bl landscape, and they're just having fun with all of it.

and the whole set-up in itself is a queer allegory, isn't it? theo and akk are "from different worlds", so to speak, hindered in their love not just by their complete inability to communicate but also by their forced separation as children. when they meet again, theo doesn't really belong anywhere, he's an outsider both in france and in thailand, he is unable to act the way thai society expects him to act (e.g. failing to show the proper respect to the seniors), unable to get his parents to understand him while being actively lied to by them (the whole ocean of miscommunication in that family deserves its own post), harboring feelings for his childhood friend his whole life but unable to voice them in a normal sort of way, instead falling back on concocting the most convoluted, immediately backfiring plan to try to make akk jealous and get him to confess his feelings first.

theo is fundamentally isolated because he grew up between two cultures, and neither one quite fits him: when he's in france, he is comforted by thai food and the only people he's close with (his grandmother and sun) are from thailand like himself; but when he's in thailand, he can't quite get used to the social conventions and makes social blunders, he is very slow at writing in thai.

it's such a poignant queer allegory in my opinion. they didn't end up making as much a point of it on the show as they could have, but it very much informed my whole reading of the show and the characters. there is a sort of inability to articulate his experience surrounding theo that makes him even more isolated and screams "baby gay in need of a community" to me. having akk share his experience at the end is something that i'm not a big fan of for other, unrelated reasons (might make a separate post about enchanté's ending and why it fell flat for me), but when looking at it through this lens, it is the only way for akk to really get theo, to really understand his struggle on a fundamental level.

which brings me back to that desire i mentioned earlier: theo desires akk, very much so, there are a whole handful of scenes where akk gets close to him and theo closes his eyes, expecting to finally be kissed by him, but more than that, he desires understanding. he often brushes off his own difficulties and has a tendency to be emotionally clueless (for example about his parents' divorce), but what i see most in his character is the desire to be understood, to be seen by akk, for akk to see him for who he is and to love him for who he is. (akk, of course, has been doing both of those things all along. he's constantly taking pictures of theo, he's watching him through his window--with theo's full knowledge--he is always looking at him, he's always loving him.)

it's not inherently queer to want to be loved as we truly are, i believe heterosexual people experience this, too, but in the context of queerness itself, being perceived as queer by other queer people is indeed a fundamental aspect to experiencing queer love (maybe not in gay for you bls, but i haven't heard of much gay for you happening in real life). not to be unscientific about this, but the vibes of the perception aspect of enchanté are just very queer to me, you know?

oh, and speaking of desire: enchanté in general is very physical. there is a level of intimacy between the actors and the camera that seems incredibly intentional: there are several shower scenes, scenes of theo and akk shirtless, TWO (2) nude gawin scenes (though one of those is sadly a fake-out and he is actually wearing shorts), many, many scenes that include bare feet, which is not something i see super often in bl, at least not to the point that i notice the frequency of it.

enchanté is very rooted in the physical reality of desirable bodies: theo is allowed to openly, physically flirt with saifa, even though that's not even his endgame love interest, phupha uses physical touch in his pursuit of theo, natee shows his obsession with theo by drawing his face/body about a hundred times, and akk and theo are wholly unable to keep their hands off each other. i've joked about the intricate rituals, but seriously, they are constructing so many intricate rituals. there are two separate scenes in which they make up excuses to kiss each other's elbows/arms/backs. they keep touching each other in a thousand ways, in every possible way they can that is still plausibly deniable as physical desire--until they kiss while watching that movie and then it's just a game of chicken of who will confess first. because their physical attraction to each other is undeniable. it's obvious. this was really refreshing to see in a genre that so often plays with the blushing maiden trope, and one character is so often made to pursue the other: on enchanté, akk and theo are equally horny for each other. it's not their lack of physical attraction that keeps them apart for so long.

(sadly, the show then shies away from actually getting very sexually physical: after their desperate, stunning, amazing balcony-kiss, they aren't allowed to be horny for each other in the last two episodes, when they're actually in a relationship. this is just one of the many aspects that i didn't like about the conclusion of the story, because you simply cannot tell me that these two as we got to know them in episodes 1 to 8 would really be as chaste with each other as they're shown in episodes 9 and 10.)

leaving that aside for the moment, let's talk about that kiss. as mentioned right at the beginning, when these two kiss each other on the balcony, it's desperation in its rawest form. these two--and especially theo--crave each other. theo kisses akk like he will die without him. theo kisses akk like he can finally breathe. theo kisses akk like he never wants to do anything else ever again.

i'm a bit obsessed with book's acting here, because of all the kissing scenes i've seen him in, i think this is THE most desperate one. force plays it a bit more subtle, but book's expression is full-on anguish. theo waited his whole life to be kissed by akk, and book portrays that so beautifully, with such depth. it's one of my favorite bl kisses for sure, it's played with so much heart, so much feeling, that it's hard to even think of kisses that compare, apart from the bad buddy episode 5 rooftop kiss.

anyway, all of this to say that enchanté to me is deeply, lovingly queer, and it's a shame that so many people are sleeping on it. (and that includes myself, i was wary about watching this show for a long time because i'd heard so many negative things about it.)

but i'm here to tell you: watch enchanté. it's wonderful, it's hilariously funny, it's endearing, it has book and force in it, and it is extremely queer.

#enchanté #enchanté the series #enchante the series #*mine #my enchanté meta

127 notes · View notes

fitzs-trained-monkey · 7 months

Text

The Blood of the Covenant

Character and Relationship list

(Call it beta testing. Just wanna see if anyone is interested, otherwise I won't write it.)

This is the story of how the House of Gaunt fell to its knees. And it starts with a couple of kids.

Irene "Ire" Amanecer

The Dirty Half-Breed

Vibe: What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish

"I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend. It's not what he's made for."

Ominis Gaunt

The Reluctant Heir

Vibe: Family Line by Conan Grey

"We may share a face and a last name, but we are not the same."

Irene Amanecer and Ominis Gaunt

Two Fools and One Hell of a Grudge

Vibe: Muscle Museum by Muse

"I don't want you to adore me - don't want you to ignore me when it pleases you."

Sebastian Sallow

The Boy Who Wanted

Vibe: Arsonist's Lullaby by Hozier

"All you have is your fire. And a place you need to reach."

Rhuin Gaunt

The Clairvoyant

Vibe: Absinth by IDKHBTFM

"I don't care what mama says. You wind me up, or you wind up dead."

Rhuin Gaunt and Sebastian Sallow

An Arrangement of Convenience

Vibe: Dear Fellow Traveler by Sea Wolf

"Though my love is so wise and so pretty, some nights I still dream of you."

Aramintia "Minty" Nolan

The Catalyst

Vibe: Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

"You crave the applause yet hate the attention, then miss it, your act is a ruse."

Minty Nolan and Sebastian Sallow

Imperfect Harmony

Vibe: Do Not Let Your Spirit Wane by Gang of Youths

"Isn't it strange all the things that I run from are the things that completeness could come from?"

Anne Sallow

The Girl Who Died

Vibe: O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

"We're all weeping now, weeping because there ain't nothing we can do to protect you."

Anne Sallow and Irene Amanecer

A Forbidden Romance

Vibe: Sweater Weather by The Neighborhood

"It's too cold for you here. So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater."

(Pls comment some thoughts or this story will die like Solomon Sallow and we wouldn't want that, would we.)

(Special thanks to @witchcraftandgeekness for being my biggest cheerleader and making the best aesthetics on this post)

35 notes · View notes

beanghostprincess · 6 months

Text

I think my favorite thing about pre-timeskip Sanuso is that they are 17/19 years old. They are. So young. Teenagers. They know nothing about love and. And they are so stupid. Don't get me wrong, they still are. But they were even MORE stupid, if that's even possible.

And I love saying they started crushing on each other around Skypiea but-- Just imagine these two idiots already giggling and kicking their feet right after. I dunno. Arlong Park. Extremely early. They literally just met. And you have this casanova-wannabe having the realization™ about maybe perhaps kind of liking boys. And the other idiot who has a type™ (rich, classy, kind blondes) and won't stop asking himself why because Sanji is annoying af. He genuinely doesn't understand why he likes Sanji. Seriously. He hates it. And Sanji's sexuality crisis lasts between like, zero seconds and absolutely nothing because he sees Usopp smiling at him and his mind goes "prettyprettyprettyprettyboy" and there's no use trying to fight his demons (bisexuality).

The funniest thing about this is that they won't stop arguing like. From the moment they see each other. Usopp understands why he likes Sanji, okay? He is a pretty boy. He is also kind when he isn't being a complete jerk. He is kind of cute when he talks about the All Blue. He helps people whenever they need to. But then Sanji says something stupid and Usopp has the "fuck he is so annoying I wanna make out with him I mean---" crisis like, three times a day. While Sanji, since he has stopped fighting his demons, is a mix between "I will get over this crush fr fr he is just a guy" and "haha maybe if I save him he will give me a kiss on the cheek haha that'd be nice hahahahahahaa *gives in to gay thoughts for an hour until he sets the kitchen on fire*"

Sanji gets Usopp's goggles back in Alabasta because he is so down bad he just wants Usopp to thank him. Usopp is burning with jealousy in Whisky Peak when all those girls flirt with Sanji. They are both like "teehee it's cold out here we should probably sleep together just for warmth right hahaha". They spend all of Alabasta being annoying and everybody hates it. Vivi thinks they are dating. Sanji explains Usopp the 'Mr.Prince' trick and puts his glasses on only because Usopp thinks it's soooo cool. And Usopp thinks it is soooo fucking stupid but he wants to hype him up because, again, he is seventeen and he wants the pretty (and very stupid) blondie to kiss him.

When they get to Skypiea it is. The fucking worst. That is peak crushing on each other. It is not even realizing they are crushing, it is extreme "if we aren't next to each other constantly I think I will die" type of thing but "we can't tell each other how we feel bc what if it's not mutual". So they sleep next to each other. They hold hands. They pretend like they don't like it. They are dying from embarrassment. Sanji tells Usopp he doesn't care if he dies because he is having an "I need to look straight" moment and Usopp is having a "fuck why did I fall for a straight guy" moment. Then Sanji saves them, because he is like that but also because he is. Head over heels. Usopp takes care of his wounds right after and they are both so. So nervous.

Like-- Sanuso but they are crushing early in the story and they are both SHAKING every time they talk to each other. Sanji tries to act sooo cool and Usopp is like "haha yeah you're sooo cool" while regretting every decision he has ever made because why the hell does he want to fuck a blond loser.

By the time they get to Water 7 everything is more like. Genuine and romantic and they are basically in love with each other at this point. So I don't need to explain anything but. But. But Usopp in Thriller Bark thinking he is so cool with his little vampire hunter outfit and Sanji being down bad for him because he is, indeed, very cool. But Usopp is also having his teenage Conan Gray 'Heather' moment because Sanji won't stop saving Nami and Usopp just really really really wants Sanji to save him instead but okay fucking blond guy I hate him I hate him I hate him---

They both have their moments of screaming btw. Sanji finds moments alone to go to the kitchen and just. Scream inside of pots. Scream inside of glasses. Scream inside of cabinets. He likes Usopp so much it's physically unbearable and Usopp won't stop spending time with mosshead so of course he is angry. And Usopp goes to the boys' quarters to scream in pillows and the lockers and he is so stressed.

Sanji tells Usopp to taste his food before anybody else (please I am making this for you this food is for you love me love me love me love me) and Usopp constantly tells Sanji his stories because nobody else listens to him (do you think I'm cool please think I'm cool please please). Sanji has so many nosebleeds every day but they are not exaggerated they are. They are just there. He will constantly have nosebleeds and he lies and says it's just a weird condition because saying "please let your hair down more I am in love with you" is weird. And Usopp constantly bumps into walls and shit like that when he is trying to make Sanji look at him.

Their crushes on each other take like, at least, 80% of their time. It is insane and ridiculous and awkward and they are blushing 24/7 and kicking their feet and screaming and they like like each other. They don't say it like normal people. They like like each other. Because they're. Stupid. And young. And they make so many mistakes but they are growing up together. And I think that's beautiful and I adore them <33

WAIT WAIT WAIT EDIT: Not to mention the first time have sex. Not going into details bc. That's for another post I want to make. But they definitely had sex like. Before Sabaody. And it was the weirdest most disgusting teenage thing ever and I adore them. They were SO anxious. And it is. So cute. And I love themIlovethemwefnlwkefnln (<- normal person)

#they are so youuung #what are you overthrowing governments you should be flirtiiing #pre-ts sanuso save meee #i want them both to be awkward :((#one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso

51 notes · View notes

dragonfly0808 · 1 year

Text

Musa’s Discography Pt.2

First Full Album. Written throughout the second half of s3 and the first month of summer. Published int he summer between s3 and s4

This one again didn’t have a specific theme though I did try to go for a vibe. Like, this is Musa writing to cope with everything that’s going on whilst trying to ignore her mental health issues so there are one or two ‘darker’ songs when she couldn’t write smth happy or at least not act like everything is fine.

Not sure if I worded that correctly. Here goes:

Afterglow by Taylor Swift.

This is perfect to me as an opening track right before Rivusa have made up she writes this because well… it just fits a lot and I think it’s perfect to open an album that’s kinda Musa just trying to look at the brighter side and ignore the bad shit going on or trying to act like everything will be fine

The Louvre by Lorde.

I see Musa writing this towards the start of summer as a fun summer track to distract herself as she tries to figure out where to stay

Best Friend by Conan Gray.

This was written in bits and pieces over s2 and s3 and it’s just about the squads, I can see her basing it off of the platonic soulmates, like the final part is a super old recording of Sky when Stella told him an ex called her before s1

New Romantics by Taylor Swift.

Another fun summer song to cover up the sadness in an iconic way. I love this song way too much, it deserves more hype

Blue by Madison Beer.

Another track co-written by Helia, story-based. This is the first time the tiniest bit of darkness slips through mostly on the production

Exhale by Sabrina Carpenter.

One of few songs where Musa is fully honest and lets herself go a bit, but I still don’t really count it as one of the ‘darker’ songs. She wrote this before gaining Enchantix

Tornado Warnings by Sabrina Carpenter.

This one was one that she wrote in one night with Helia when neither could sleep and after Musa had lied to her therapist pre-Enchantix, so they just took the phrase ‘lying to my therapist’ and made up a little story as they do

Out of the Woods by Taylor Swift.

This song is peak Rivusa s3 for me, like- just both of them being so bad at relationships but wanting to be in one regardless and just UUGGGGHHHH love them

Sober by Lorde.

First slightly ‘darker’ song, was meant to be a summer bop but turned a bit darker. Here is where the album goes on a tiny spiral. I say tiny cause she won’t really go ‘dark’ till the second album

Stay Numb and Carry On by Madison Beer.

First song she wrote after gaining Enchantix. Kinda wrote a few nonsensical lyrics before pulling them together for the verses and the chorus is just how weird she felt after gaining Enchantix

Follow the White Rabbit by Madison Beer.

Another song she wrote soon after gaining Enchantix. Co-written by Helia cause that song to me is Helia-coded when he’s in a bad mental space…

Tell Em by Sabrina Carpenter.

More light-hearted, wrote it after Tecna ranted about Timmy and about how if they did started dating she’d be stressed about people knowing. Started writing it in s2 while Tecna wouldn’t shut up about Timmy. ‘Cause I’m falling down like I’m summer rain’ Idk why but to me that’s such a Tecna-coded line

idontwannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish.

Probably the darkest Musa gets in this album, I almost see this as the mirror of Exhale. This was after she kinda processed everything that happened after gaining Enchantix and a few intense therapy sessions

Shadows by Sabrina Carpenter.

It just fits so well at first. I can see her writing this about lit the whole squad before gaining Enchantix, it doesn’t fit as much after that.

Giant by Yuqi.

This would kinda be her way to close the album in a more ‘positive, don’t worry I’m totally fine, I’ll be alright ajajaja rise up like a giant yeah…’ way. Basically she wrote it as a way to tell everyone don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine

Now, on to, the extra tracks of the deluxe version! Oh yeah we’re getting way too specific!!!

The deluxe version comes out after she’s taken in by Tecna’s family.

Deluxe version includes:

skinny dipping by Sabrina Carpenter.

Wrote this during her time at the Wujin Festival whilst the squad went backstage to chat and have fun, performed it on her last day. Little details about almost everyone ‘Oatmilk latte in your name’ is Stella. ‘Arguments in your garage’ is Riven/Timmy, ‘Shannon’s being Shannon’ imagine she said Lexie. Etc.

Bigger Than the Whole Sky by Taylor Swift.

Wrote this while Tecna was in Omega, didn’t want to publish it originally but Tecna cried when she heard it and said she should

i love you by Billie Eilish.

Written during the Rivusa fights and the reconcilation. Very vulnerable so she was hesitant to include it at first but decided to go for it

Labyrinth by Taylor Swift.

Written by Helia about Flora, it was originally a poem. Musa loved it and together they modified a line or two to make it into a song

The Best Day by Taylor Swift.

Musa wrote it whilst sobbing after the Crystal Labyrinth, she wanted to write about the good times she remembered and kinda just sing about her mom’s life instead of her death if that makes sense. Decided to include it in the deluxe version last second cause it felt so personal

decode by Sabrina Carpenter.

This is about her dad. Written after the Wujin Festival and Musa choosing to stop trying to mend their relationship.

That was a long one phew… that’s the first album!!! Yay!!!

Part 1

Winx Rewrite Masterlist

#winx club #winx rewrite #winx #winx headcannon #winx fanfic #winx headcanons #winx musa #winx headcanon #winx club rewrite #riven x musa #musa x riven #musa #winx rivusa #rivusa #winx helia

57 notes · View notes

heecyon · 2 years

Text

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑; 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 —volume two

pairing: ceo!park jongseong x brother's best friend!fem!reader

genre: arranged/forced marriage, accidental pregnancy, brother's best friend, slight age gap (reader's 22 and jay's 24), angst, fluff and second chance love.

warning(s): grammar mistakes, curse words, nicknames, arranged marriage, suggestive scenes, mentions/allusions to sex, toxic/abusive mother, verbal abuse, vomiting, mentions of hospitals, fainting, blood, mentions of food, accidental pregnancy, cheesy ending, and bunch of fluff towards the ending, sort of toxic relationship between jay and reader.

word count: 25k+ words

disclaimer: i finally finished backburner, and it might have some grammar mistakes, it’s been a while since i wrote from a pc, but i’m so happy to have finished it, but i think that the ending is really corny and cheesy.

volume one

CEOs & ARRANGEMENTS MASTERLIST

ACT FOUR: Maybe life's less romantic when I don't wanna die!

The first thing that you did when you arrived at the office was going to the bathroom to throw up. You were tired of the horrible feeling of vile going up your throat and how your stomach was more than empty and fell away from hunger.

You groaned from ache and tiredness, and you felt your body tense up when you heard somebody going inside the bathroom.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Haewon asked in worry.

"Yeah, just a little bit nauseous." Your friend frowned upon your words, knowing pretty well that you were lying. "You haven't been well for a while now, you should get that check."

You tried to shrug it off, but the more time passed, the more concerned you grew. You knew your body pretty well, but you were basically blinded by everything going on that you just dismissed what was happening inside of you.

You let go a small nod before finally unlocking the cubicle door. "See what I tell you? You look pale, like a corpse." She took out her phone, unlocking the screen and typing a phone number. "I'll phone an appointment for you, this afternoon. You can't continue being like this."

The next few minutes, Haewon continued a small conversation with a receptionist in a well-known clinic in the city. "They have a space for you at twelve 'o' clock."

At twelve 'o' clock you were more than busy, the meeting you had been waiting for would start around that time, and your sister needed you there.

This was going to be a problem for you… At least that's what you thought.

"I'll be there in your name for the reunion, I'll talk with Juni and I'll tell her that you have an emergency, but please…just get checked up." You couldn't protest anymore, and in the end you nodded in defeat.

Throughout the day, you tried to convince yourself that you were probably okay, that it was probably just a stomach bug, or stress.

You tried to remain calm when your appointment was near, a little bit of worry setting in your body.

What if I'm mortally ill? What if this isn't a stomach bug or just stress?

Heeseung drove your car in a calming matter, he tried to make conversation with you, small talk, but even with his easing composure you still felt your heart give quick jobs the closer you got to the clinic.

Heeseung opened the door for you, guiding towards the medical building in front of you, you gulped with fear and anxiety.

Soon, you found yourself in front of the reception desk that was adorned with pink decor and bullet journals.

A woman in her mid-twenties, with chestnut hair and pale skin attended the desk, a small smile on her face when she saw you. Specifically, Heeseung.

"Welcome to Seonchang Clinic! What can I help you with?" She asked with a cheery voice.

"We have an appointment at twelve 'o' clock, for Bae Y/N." She checked on the computer, setting her eyes apart from your secretary with a reddish tone on her cheeks. "Dr. Hwang Mina will see you in a minute, please take a seat in the waiting room."

You set your bag on top of your legs, a shiver running down your spine from anxiousness. A small part of you trying to convince yourself that you'd be okay.

Your phone rang a few times, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw Jay's ID on the screen, his calls were almost nonexistent for a while now. You let the phone ring for a moment, Heeseung eyes you with curiosity, expecting you to answer the call, but you didn't… Actually, you denied his call a second after.

"I thought that you would tell him you were here." Heeseung asked, he knew he shouldn't be interested in your private life, but he was starting to worry about you. He knew Jay, he'd met him a few times and he swore that Jay was a really good guy, so he didn't understand why you would reject his calls.

"Don't really want him to worry." You lied, a fake smile adorning your face. "Bae Y/N?"

The sound of your name rang through your ears, a rush of nerves going through your body.

Heeseung stayed put on his seat, knowing very well that he wasn't to move until you came out of the room.

You walked into the office, closing the door behind you. The doctor had pitch black hair, her lips were glossy and she wore a prominent eyeliner, almost in her mid-thirties, at least that's what you guessed.

The office was decorated with white marble everywhere, her titles were hanging on a side of the wall.

"Please take a seat, Ms. Bae." You muttered a Thank You, propping yourself on the seat, trying to find a way to be comfortable. "What seems to be the problem?"

You cleared your throat, just to gulp right after. The thoughts in your mind recalled every single symptom that you felt during the last few weeks.

Throwing up,

Fatigue?

Or was it exhaustion?

Poor appetite,

Dizziness…

"Mrs. Bae?"

The doctor's voice got you back to reality, you felt so exhausted at the moment, and your symptoms just kept on repeating inside your mind.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm here because I've felt really badly the last few weeks."

Dr. Hwang nodded at your words.

"I've been throwing up a lot, my appetite is really poor… I'm always exhausted or maybe fatigued?"

"A-And I've been really dizzy."

You stuttered out of nervousness, waiting for the doctor to finish typing your symptoms on her document.

She hummed at your symptoms, she knew that this could be symptoms of anything else than what she was thinking, but she still had to examine you and still had to ask you some things.

"Ms. Bae if you don't mind me asking?" You hummed in approval, trying to tell her to go on. "Are you sexually active?"

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

You frowned at her words, being completely confused, your heart accelerated in rhythm, from the anxiety, from the nerves.

To be honest, you hadn't noticed that your period was late, like really late, you assumed it was from stress, but you tried to keep a count of how long it had been since you last had it.

"I-I don't know, may-maybe two… two or three months ago."

"My husband and I…" Then, it hit you.

My husband... Your husband.

Jay, Park Jongseong.

What if you were…

The doctor noticed how quiet you stayed, she smiled at you with sympathy. She understood that maybe you were embarrassed, or that you just didn't want to talk about it.

"I will need to send some blood samples to the lab to have more accurate results. The results will come back in a few hours and if you want you can come back for me to explain the diagnosis."

"If not, you can come back tomorrow."

Dr. Hwang took out a blood drawing needle, and then told you to place your arm on the desk, she placed her fingers trying to look for a vein, your nerves wouldn't cooperate, so your veins hid away from fear. The doctor looked for a while, before she finally found it.

She placed a tourniquet in your arm, close to your vein, and then she softly rubbed some alcohol-filled cotton on the placed where she would insert the needle.

You didn't notice the moment that she inserted on your vein, but it stung for a minute or two after you finally analyzed what was going on.

"All done, I'll take this to the lab and your results will be back in a few hours." She passed right by you, quickly giving you a rub on the shoulder.

"We'll give you a call to tell you that your results are back so you can know the diagnosis."

She opened the door, the bright lights from the waiting room making you squint your eyes. You grabbed your bag and thanked her on the way out.

Your body was met with just a little bit lighter temperature than before you went in. Heeseung saw you standing in front of him, and he stood up, expectant.

"Is everything ok, Y/N?" He talked to you informally, he sometimes did it without realizing, maybe because he still wasn't used to you being three years younger than him. "Y-Yeah, I'll receive my results later in the afternoon. Do you think you can come back here with me to receive them?" You didn't want to drive alone here, knowing that nobody would be there to receive you when you got out of the room.

"Of course, why not?" You nearly sighed in relief, Heeseung grabbed your bag and guided you towards the car. You asked him to take you towards that Boba store that had opened a few days back.

While you sat at the place, you bounced your leg in an anxious way. You had ordered a biscuit milkshake, with chocolate syrup and gummy toppings.

"Sorry if I make you uncomfortable, but are things good… between you and Jay?" Heeseung asked with curiosity, but also with a little bit of hesitation. You grabbed the straw of your drink, mixing the shake and letting the gummies go into the bottom of the plastic cup.

"I-I don't know, things have been really weird. So, I don't know if we are ok anymore." You had your phone in your lap, a new notification entered causing it to light up. Your lockscreen was a picture that you had taken of Jay a few months ago.

You'd decided that night that you could really use a midnight snack, and the sleepiness wasn't completely out of your eyes.

The sound of your footsteps became present in the house, and Jay was woken up by them. When he noticed that you were not in bed, he got up and walked towards the kitchen, where he noticed the dim light of your flashlight pointing towards one of the kitchen counters.

"What are you doing?" Jay said, rubbing his eyes.

You got startled, but when you saw him with his messy hair and sleepy eyes, you softened. "I thought we had cheetos here, somewhere." Your hands trailed through the most profound part of the counter, just finding unopened packs of ramen and cookies.

"We ate them yesterday." You got off from the stool that you used to reach the counters. "We? I'm pretty sure it was you." You walked towards him, and then touched his chest with your finger.

"Ok, I did, but we don't have to fight about that… How hungry are you?" He asked, turning the kitchen lights on. "From a scale of one to ten? An eight."

He grabbed a pan from the kitchen hanger that was above the isle.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Jay did his work, and it was a great one, with the smell coming from the pan was more than magnificent. He told you to take a seat and to wait just a few minutes.

When you reached the counter, you grabbed your phone and took a quick picture of him. You noticed how that sage green t-shirt that he wore was showing a little bit of his back, how the little moles on the back of his arm were almost hidden by the fabric, how his hair was messy from how much turning he was doing on bed.

…How he cooked your food with a small smile on his lips.

"There you go, I hope you like it." He ruffled your hair, causing you to smile back at him. Jay took a seat beside you, as he slowly caressed your forearm, and tickled the sensitive of your skin.

The plate was gorgeous, considering that it was done in the middle of the night. He had made a crepe for you, with strawberry jam, and philadelphia cream cheese.

"Thank you, Jay." You said, soon giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, seeing how a small blush formed on his ears.

You smirked from how blushed he looked, and you remembered the picture that you had just taken a few minutes ago.

That small memory of yours was really special, you don't know why, but you always got a small flutter in your heart when you remembered that night.

"I wish really badly that things would go back to what they were, but we would just continue living in a lie." A heavy lump started to form in your throat, your eyes turned crystalline, tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, so you rubbed your eyes to prevent them from going any further.

"If you need to talk to anyone, you know you can tell me anything." Heeseung said, grabbing your hand. That moment, you knew why Heeseung found it so easy to find his girlfriend. He was supportive, and he was mature. "Thank you, Heeseung. I mean it."

"No problem, Y/N." He nodded.

You decided to go back home, at least just to rest while you waited for the clinic to call back. You laid on the sofa, after changing out of your work attire, went back to the office, making sure that things were working perfectly throughout the meeting that you missed.

And you remained calm when you received a call from your sister.

"Unnie?"

You could hear a little bit of shuffling until it all quieted down. "Y/N? How are you? How was your appointment?"

Juni asked with a tired voice, as if she had just run a marathon, she was more than exhausted, and with the news of you missing that meeting, she had to do a few arrangements.

"Don't worry, it's just a stomach bug. The doctor sent me some pills and told me to rest this afternoon because I'm exhausted." You never lied, on a few occasions you did, but only when you felt that it was necessary. You weren't ready to tell her that you might be pregnant or maybe have a different illness.

"Really? It's good to know that it's nothing serious, take as much rest as you can-" "You don't have to tell me that, I'll be back to the office the upcoming Monday, and I'll be at tomorrow's family reunion."

You tried to assure her in a way that she wouldn't worry. For sure you wouldn't be missing work this Monday, you physically couldn't. And with the way that things were going with Jay, you needed some sort of distraction.

With that, she told you that she'd give you more details about the next meeting when you went back to work, and she then asked you to take care of yourself as you heard a tone of worry in her voice.

After the call, you fell asleep. You didn't notice how fast time passed until your phone rang. At first, you thought it was Jay, but you noticed that this was a company number, so you decided to answer.

"Hello?"

"Good Afternoon, am I talking to Ms. Bae? It's Seonchang clinic, we called to tell you that the results of your blood analysis are back."

With that, your heart did a quick leap, not of joy, neither of sadness, just nerves.

"Would you like to schedule another appointment for the reading of your results, or would you like to receive the-"

"I'll be there in thirty minutes, thank you for calling me." You said in an agitated voice.

You proceeded to call Heeseung, so he could pick you up. He was fast to arrive to you house, and you got into the car with your fingers obsessively picking the fabric of your navy blue sweater.

It felt like your jean shorts were itchy, but it wasn't that, it was your skin sweating from anxiousness.

By the time you arrived at the clinic, the receptionist that had greeted you earlier told you the same thing when you arrived two hours before.

"Please take a seat, the doctor will attend you in a minute."

Your thoughts were running around every single possibility of what your results could be.

Cancer,

Some sort of gastric disease,

Stress…

Or the last option.

"There seems to be an elevated count of chorionic gonadotropin hormones in your blood."

A frown settled on your face.

You didn't understand.

"What does that mean?"

Dr. Hwang looked at your results one more time, reading it carefully, getting ready to tell you something that was definitely going to change your life. "Mrs. Bae, this type of hormones are only seen during pregnancy."

"If my calculations are not wrong,"

"You are nine weeks pregnant, Mrs. Bae."

Your mind went blank, all your mind could see was pure white, like somebody had just poured bleach inside your head.

I can't be…

It couldn't be the last option, it just couldn't be.

"I have a small concern about your blood level count, it's really low. Having anemia during pregnancy it's pretty common, but yours is just a little below what we usually see. I will prescribe some vitamins for you, and a diet rich in iron."

After those words, it was like your world went numb.

You wanted to have children, but not like this, not when you and Jay were on really bad terms, not when you didn't have a stable and normal marriage.

There was one thing for sure…

You couldn't tell Jay about this, you were not ready to tell him yet.

That was when you realized that maybe your relationship wasn't the best, but your baby would be well taken care of by yourself and your family.

You were just afraid of how the circumstances were.

I'm in the last option.

Pregnant.

ACT FIVE: Hey, are you still there? Good.

You swore that now you could feel the baby move. Maybe, it was your imagination trying to ease up your crazy thoughts, but your imagination was crazy enough itself to help no more.

Sometimes, you even rubbed your abdomen in a way to feel connected to the child that was growing inside you. Even if you still weren't showing that much, you could feel that something was actually inhabiting inside of you.

A tiny human that would soon be held in your arms, a tiny human that could look just like you or maybe just like Jay.

You also wondered if it would be a boy or a girl, whichever gender that your baby had, you would love them no matter what. Your mind came back to what the doctor told you at the clinic.

She sent you down to an OB/GYN, Dr. Choi, who had her own clinic based on her specialization.

"From what I'm seeing, you are three months along in your pregnancy. The baby is pretty small, like an olive. They've developed tiny arms and legs, but I can't quite hear their heartbeat, yet. Your baby's heartbeat is pretty hidden." The doctor moved the doppler on your lower abdomen, she pointed out that the baby moved their leg, and that even though it was a slight movement, the baby would start to become very active throughout the next few weeks.

"In a few weeks, they'll grow as they should. They seem a bit tiny for how far along you are, but they are developing perfectly." She took away the doppler, and cleaned the gel that was set on your abdomen.

"As for your condition, your hemoglobin levels are really low, Dr. Hwang already prescribed you some vitamins and a rich-iron diet. I would like to monitor your blood pressure, which seems a little bit low as well."

Some people started to show at three months, some of them don't. For you, there was a small bump that was starting to grow from your lower abdomen.

When you got home after your appointments, you dropped your bag and laid on the sofa, your mind going through every single thing that it could find.

How would Jay react?

You knew he wanted children, but with everything that you guys were going through, his reaction could be pretty different from what you would expect from him.

Petty hands laid on your belly, as you caressed the skin that covered the creature growing in your womb.

And that was enough to soothe you to sleep.

The warmth that you felt right after was just perfect, the feeling covered right behind your legs and arms, you felt a warm body touching your cheek, another fabric of clothing against yours.

A few seconds later, your body laid on top of the comfy cushions and blankets of your bed… The bed you share with Jay.

When Jay saw you fast asleep, he carried you back to the main dormitory. Your warmth and soothing smell, that smell of cinnamon and vanilla that you always carried.

The second he got you on the bed, Jay put a cozy blanket on top of your body, the night was chilly and he didn't want you to be freezing cold.

He checked your sleepy features with caring eyes, your curly eyelashes, your parted lips and your blushed cheeks, they also seemed a little but fuller than usual, he wanted to touch them really bad.

But he didn't, Jay didn't want to invade your personal space. Neither did he want to cross your boundaries.

The poor man didn't know that you were half awake, and still you appreciated what he had just done for you. He didn't want you to sleep another night on the sofa, he knew it wasn't comfortable, and he was willing to sleep on the uncomfortable couch just for your well-being.

By the time that the morning came around, you heard the shower drops fall from the guest bathroom, you noticed how you were still wearing your jean shorts, which made sense as to why you felt very uncomfortable from your lower body.

This was the day that your families decided to have a monthly reunion, these reunions would take place at The Parks main residence, the house where Jay and his brothers grew up.

One of the only reasons why you wanted to go, was because you would see Mr. Park once again, that man that had grown to be almost like your own grandfather.

You felt a little bit nauseous that morning, a small vile threatened to rise up your throat, but it soon went down when you took a few deep breaths. You sat up at the edge of the bed, feeling a slight pressure from your shorts making contact with your skin.

The next thing you did was going to the bathroom to splash some water on your face, through the mirror you looked at your jet black locks. The color started to look boring, uninteresting, you thought that you could use a change.

You knew that when you get back home, you should look up if dyeing your hair wasn't a bad thing to do while pregnant.

The sound of the guest bathroom shower going off was enough to catch your attention, you knew that Jay wasn't taking a shower in your own bathroom because he wasn't willing to make you uncomfortable in any way.

You rubbed your abdomen in the hopes of feeling anything that day, you wanted to know what it felt like when a baby kicked, but you remembered that your child was way too small for you to feel anything, you wished to feel something, and maybe you wished that Jay was able to feel the same excitement that you had.

It didn't surprise you that when you went downstairs, towards the kitchen, Jay was already putting a plate on the aisle.

"Good morning." He said, putting a glass of watermelon juice beside your plate. Jay found his ways to avoid looking at you, he was ashamed, not only of himself, but also of not being able to look into your eyes and tell you what he truly felt.

"I made some kimchi toast for you, there's more on the stove if you want to grab some more." With those words, Jay started to walk away, making you frown. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'll eat when we arrive at my parents house, don't worry about me."

He left you all alone on the kitchen counter, the taste of his food was always magnificent, Jay always cooked his food with love and care, which was what you loved about his meals.

The time passed real quick, the ride to his childhood home was quiet and uncomfortable, he wasn't rubbing your thigh like he always did, and you weren't tickling his knuckles as you did when he caressed your leg.

The only thing making contact with your skin was the soft green fabric of your off-shoulder dress. The melodies of the radio were the only things that accompanied the heavy atmosphere, and the way Jay grabbed the steering wheel indicated that he was tense, it was more than noticeable with his white knuckles and red palms.

You didn't notice when you arrived to his parents' house, the ride was so tense that you escaped to your own world in a way to get away from the heavy ambience.

"Jay, Y/N, dear! Hope the ride didn't have any inconvenience." Other than an uncomfortable tension, no, everything was good. "Please come in, the food is about to be served."

Jongseong's mother guided you towards one of the outside paths that took you to the backyard. The grass was full of pink and purple flowers that Mrs. Park had obviously planted, those were her favorite colors, she had always expressed that since you were little.

Sometimes, when you were six, she asked you if you wanted to plant some flowers with her, and you never denied. You had grown to make that a habit of yours, to grow your favorite flowers in your house backyard, but you hadn't in the house that you shared with Jay.

The backyard was divided by a white wooden door, a door that you used to pretend that it was a magic portal towards an unknown land, the large pool was a lake where fairies danced, and mermaids sang, it was the place where tiny soldiers used to fight for the defense of their sacred queen.

It was the place where eight-year old Jay used to place a crown on top of your head, swearing that you would always be protected by him and that he would always consider you his queen.

"Come over, take a seat."

Your parents were there, including your sister. She went over to give you a quick hug, brushing your hair away from your face in an attempt to have a clearer view of your face.

"You look a little bit pale, Y/N. Are you feeling ok?" She asked with a frown forming on her brows. "Maybe you should go home and rest some more."

You shook your head, looking to the side, noticing a small expression of worry in Jay's face as he listened to your sister's words, his hand came into view, knowing that he was about to put his hand on your shoulder.

"Jay, can you help me season the meat, please?" Jongseong gave a quick glance towards you, making eye contact for a second, his gaze expressing concern and disquiet.

You watched as he went away, his hand apart from your body, a warm feeling that maybe you wouldn't feel again.

"I feel just fine." You faked a smile the best you could, it wasn't that you were feeling bad, emotionally, you were destroyed, your nausea wasn't that bad, and you took your first vitamin pill that morning.

Juni inspected your face, she knew very well that there was something wrong, you just seemed down that day, a little but tense and Jay wasn't all over you as he used to.

"Yeah, sur-"

"My dear Bellie! It's so good to see you again!" Mr. Park got close to you, soon embracing you into a soft hug.

"Hi papa! How have you been?"

"I should be asking that to you. You look really frail today, come with me. You need some fresh air." Mr. Park always had his ways to enchant you, he always reminded you of your grandfather, he was sweet and caring. Sometimes, even stubborn.

Just as you walked through the large garden, Jay watched from afar, making sure that you were fine. He knew you were in good hands with his grandfather, but he couldn't help but worry.

"How have things been with Jay? He's not causing you that much trouble, isn't he? I tried to raise that boy with good manners." He muttered those last words with a grumble. You obviously were not going to tell him about what was going on with Jay, nor about your pregnancy. For now, it was your secret. And you'll reveal it when you are ready.

"You've raised him with good manners, papa. Jay is not causing me any trouble." You lied, you knew that the last sentence was a lie, but what else could you say.

"And what about… kids?" Your heart started beating fast, out of nervousness.

"Papa… You know that Jay and I need some time for that." You saw his gaze go gloomy, he looked saddened. You never understood what was the big deal of having an heir in the family, and you were more than sure that the boys were pressured to have a kid soon. "I know, dear… I really do, but having the branches secure is my biggest deal. I worked so hard for that business to prosper and I truly don't want it all to go to the drain."

You nodded your head, you knew what he meant, but it wasn't the right thing to do at all, putting pressure on your family just for a business wasn't going to help anybody.

"I know, Papa."

A smile appeared once again on his face. "If you both truly aren't ready for a child, yet, I'll wait just a while now. You know that I'm very impatient." He chuckled.

You faked a smile. "Yes, papa. Don't worry about it."

If Sunghoon was present, you could've had somebody to talk to, but he was back in the U.S for some business trip.

Meanwhile, Jay spoke with his parents about some client that seemed to be interested in his branch. You stayed close to Juni and her husband, your parents talked about how they were so excited about some modifications in the company.

"We shouldn't be talking about work in a family reunion. We should talk about you guys, when are you giving us grandchildren." Those words made you want to smack your face against the table. Why was everybody interested in that topic?

"Juni and I are trying for a child, Mrs. Bae. I'm pretty sure that soon, we will have a small kid running around the house." Jinhae, your sister's husband was blunt, indiscreet, so much that it made you uncomfortable.

Sometimes, you wanted to scream at him for revealing every single detail of his life. It wasn't necessary to say that much.

Trying to avoid the question, you cut the meat on your plate, quickly eating it to make your mouth full.

"What about you, Y/N?"

Well, shit!

You swallowed the food in your mouth, knowing that you were not able to escape the situation. "With my husband, we need some time for that, I hope you understand."

Your mother chuckled. She was not surprised, to say the least.

"Yeah, I do. I just hope one day, you will finally keep up to your sister's footsteps." She murmured with a sarcastic tone.

You tried your best not to slam the utensils against the table, you knew that if you caused a scandal, you would be screwed. "I will follow my own footsteps, mother. Thank you very much."

Juni stayed quiet beside you, she could see through your expressions that you were more than maddened.

During your childhood, your mother had compared you to your older sister as if it was her favorite hobby. When you went to The Parks, Sunghoon always reassured you that you were your own person and that you would take your own steps at your own pace.

And you always trusted his caring words.

Jay sometimes eavesdropped on your conversations with Sunghoon, so he wasn't very fond of your mother because of your complaints. Mrs. Bae even felt Jongseong's cold attitude towards her, she was told he was a good kid, but she didn't understand why he wasn't fond of her.

Your father was quite different though.

He didn't compare you or pressed you to be somebody you were not. Instead, he always raised you up, he was your comfort and your safe place.

Whatever you wanted to do, he always had your back and your mother bit back at you, he would be the one defending you.

"She's different from her sister and she'll follow whatever she wants to do."

He was the one who made you like the family business, he took you to the office all the time to meet the staff, he showed you what he did and what he wished for the company.

And he didn't pressure you into the business, it was your decision and it was what you wanted to do.

"You could learn a lot from your sister, dear. I feel like you've been behind a lot in the family." You gulped in fury, trying to keep your emotions in a safe place.

"She is not staying behind, Mrs. Gwan. It's quite the opposite, though. She has not only improved, but she clearly has proven that she's good at everything she does."

Jay's voice stayed at a cool tone, showing dominance from his seat. Chills ran down your spine as you were surprised that he was defending you.

That was when your mother felt intimidated, and she fell quiet, you looked at your husband… If you could still call him that, you felt a wave of nerves, no one had ever put your mother in her place, other than your father.

Jay's actions only made you more heartbroken, knowing that these were the last things that he would do for you.

"I'll go to the living room, it's getting quite chilly." You rubbed your arms in an attempt to make them believe that you were cold.

Juni looked at you as you walked towards the house.

Your steps were a little bit quick, and you felt your tennis shoes start to bother you, making your toes hurt from the extreme pressure being infringe on them.

Instead of staying at the living, you went upstairs towards the bathroom.

You pushed the white wooden door, feeling a wave of nausea hit you. Your body begged you to sit down for a while, at least just to reduce the feeling of sudden sickness.

The tip of your fingers brushed your arm, trying to tickle them as a way to distract you from gagging all the food that you just ate. You took a breath in and another one out, just to relax.

Your hands naughtly sneaked on your covered abdomen, giving it a small rub in a way for your baby to feel your tender care.

Mind suddenly flew towards how it would be when your baby would be in your arms, the softness of their skin, their chubby cheeks, and the smile that they would spontaneously give you at some point.

With all your heart and soul, you wished that they loved you with all their might, maybe that was impossible because they would be a small infant, but at some point they would grow up and learn about you and how much you loved them, maybe they would love you too as much as you did.

I wish your dad knew about you, he would love you with all his heart.

You would have to tell Jay at some point, but a wave of fear would consume you when you thought about it.

A knock was left on the door, you forgot that you left it open. You saw Jay's head sneak through the opening, his brown eyes shimmering in concern.

"Are you okay?"

His soft voice was hypnotic, it was caring.

You blinked a few times, those were the first words that he had told you since that morning, a small sigh escaped your lips.

You rarely talked ever since you found out that he was thinking of divorcing you. He slept on the couch most of the time, a few sleeping in the guest room, you knew that he didn't like how quiet that room was.

"Just… nerves." You let those words slip from your mouth as a whisper. "You know that you are enough as you are, right? Don't mind her, there's people that believe that you are amazing already." He walked closer, kneeling to your height because of you sitting on top of the closed toilet.

"I know, it's just… it can be annoying sometimes, and I wished dad was here to put her in her place." "I was quite surprised that you defended me." You finally looked at his eyes, letting your fingers continue fidgeting over and over.

"I'm still your husband, I'll defend you till the end." Your heart broke in a second, your lips threatened to quiver as a lump was felt in your throat. "A-and when this ends… will you still defend me?"

He took your hands into his, he squeezed them with care, with what you thought was love, his breath shrieked, his eyes looked gloomy, like you had just broken his soul.

"Even after this ends, I will always defend you."

"I will always defend you too." You said trying to contain your tears.

He softly kissed you, making you spill a few tears from your eyes, he kissed you as if he was trying to remember every single detail of your lips.

Jay, then kissed the tip of your nose. Just to kiss the mole that you had at the side of your cheek.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he then kissed your forehead. "It's ok."

Jongseong got up, rising up with you, as you felt him kiss you once again, this time roughly, making you grab his arm. With his eyes he trailed your body, paying attention to your neck, suddenly kissing that place with passion and love, his lips then laying on top of your clavicle.

Why did you always end up in a situation like that with him?

Why did lust always overpowered you both?

You just knew that you wished for him, badly.

So, then the bathroom door was closed…

Locked.

I'll love your body, like I just hurt you.

The days passed and with that came the day where you left your shared home with Jay.

You finished placing your bags on the back seat of your car. Haewon was helping you grab the rest of your stuff, as Jay watched from inside the house how you placed your most important things into the car, things that he had absolutely grown attached to.

Your things, your smell, the cute skirts that he would see every time he opened his closet, and now… your side of the closet was almost empty, leaving behind a few shoes and jeans.

He could still feel your scent throughout the room, a scent that with time will fade away and that would be the last memory that he would have of you.

Jongseong wasn't brave enough to go outside and watch you put away your stuff, before you left.

He couldn't do that, he knew that it would hurt.

The man was doing all of this for you, he was letting you go because he couldn't let your break more and more from how much it was hurting.

He didn't want you to be in a relationship where you both weren't brave enough to say those three words that everybody loved to hear.

Where the fear of 'what if' would keep you away from saying what you truly felt for him and what he truly felt for you.

He wasn't going to break you, break you for love.

"That's everything." Haewon said with a sympathetic smile on her face. You looked up towards the second floor window, you noticed that Jay was watching you pack your stuff.

His face just expressed that he was heartbroken, you were the home where you made him fall more and each time for you.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye?" Your friend said, without noticing how a tear fell down your face. You weren't ready to leave, you were not ready to leave him.

"Can't. It just… it hurts too much."

Jay couldn't see you cry, he couldn't see how your eyes watered, he couldn't see how your soul broke into pieces.

"Let's go, please." Your voice broke.

You had given Haewon your car keys earlier, you were not in the right mindset to drive. You let your body sink in the passenger seat, as Haewon starts your car, driving towards her condo building.

"What do you want to do when we get there?" She asked as she drove away from the parking, you watched as Jay stayed near the window, looking as you went away from his arms.

"We can have something to eat, Hanni will arrive and bring some fried chicken with her." Haewon was trying to distract you from your sadness, from your sorrow and your nerves. "We can paint our nails after and-" "I want to dye my hair." You said, it had been a few days since you got an interest on it. "Really? Which color?" There was a moment where you felt a vile rising up your throat, so you swallowed as you felt the saliva threatening to spill.

"Brown- maybe mocha." You almost choke, which caused Haewon to worry, she noticed that you were getting pale, and your nausea was being threatened by the car movement.

"I'm going to stop the car, what's going on? You went to your doctor's appointment, you said you were fine." She interrogated you, she was your friend after all, she had the right to be concerned about you.

"Yeah, it's just-" "If you still feel bad, we have to get you another appointment-"

"I'm pregnant!" You nearly shouted, as you interrupted her with your words. The car was silent for a few seconds, her mouth was slightly agape, but you understood why.

"You are?" You felt obligated to nod, you couldn't lie this time, everything was spilled over.

She fell silent, processing your confirmation.

And she felt the sudden urge to ask you. "Does Jay know?" You looked at her, not being able to respond in shame and timidity. She immediately understood your shameful expression. "Y/N…"

"I'm scared to tell him, I don't want him to get back together with me just for the baby, and also I don't know how he'll react now." You felt some tears going down your cheeks once again.

"It's ok, dear. You'll figure it out in the long run, for now just take care of yourself." "We'll be here for you."

With those pretty words, a bittersweet feeling settled on your tummy. As much as you wanted Jay to know, his reaction wouldn't be the best after he figured that you hid from him, you just needed time.

The ride was quiet and calm, with just the sound of your sniffles on the car. You missed him already, and it was quite difficult to believe that you wouldn't sleep in the same bed anymore, you wouldn't cook for each other anymore, that you wouldn't be able to touch his skin again, to feel his soft lips and his scent. He wouldn't be there with you when you worked from home, he and he wouldn't rub your thigh anymore, as he used to do.

His sweet words, his voice, his smile… It was as if all of that had faded away in an instant.

You would never be able to say "I love you" to him and whisper it against his pretty lips.

You had always imagined that you would have to convince him that you did, after so many years of attraction, you knew that he would find it hard to believe already.

You settled perfectly in Haewon's condo. It wasn't your cozy home with Jay, but she made you feel comfortable and safe. When you got there, Hanni was waiting for you with a bag of lunch.

Hunger was taking over your body, and you really craved fried chicken.

Hanni and Haewon shared a condo together, at least until Hanni's home was remodeled. She smiled at you, knowing pretty well that your mood was not at its finest.

"We should devour some food, I'm pretty sure that you are hungry." Hanni took you to the living room where she settled the food bag on the coffee table, taking out the packages from the paperbag.

Haewon sat right beside you after she settled her stuff on the kitchen isle. "Y/N said that she wants to dye her hair after this. Maybe we can give her a hand, don't you think?" She asked Hanni with a small smile.

"I like that idea, what color do you want to dye it?" She asked, placing her hands on your hair, playing with it. "Mocha, like a brown color."

"You'll look really pretty, like always." Hanni giggled, her free hand passing you a bag of french fries.

"We can go to the grocery store for some hair coloring and will dye it today." Haewon signaled her roommate, making sure that you understood that only the two of them would go for your hair dye, while you rested at home.

"You just stay here and make yourself comfy."

After you finished eating, the girls went to the supermarket while you stayed in the living room. You decided to make a call, turning on your phone, just to be greeted with your wallpaper of Jay, that one that you liked so much.

You sighed with shame, knowing that you'll miss him a lot.

You got into your contacts and dialed Heeseung's number.

He answered quickly.

"Hello, Y/N?"

"Hi Heeseung, am I not bothering you?"

Heeseung responded that it was OK, and that you weren't interrupting anything. You explained to him that you were at Haewon's condo and that you needed him to pick you there from now on, at least until you found a new place.

He wondered what was wrong, but he knew that would be a very personal question to ask. Before cutting the call, you asked him for a favor.

A weird one, to say the least.

By the time the evening came, Haewon and Hanni were back.

You sent the rest of the afternoon in the bathroom trying to figure out what you wanted to do with your hair. They took out a few laughs out of you, and they were happy that they at least raised your mood up a little.

"Guys… I really like it."

Your hair was now a brown mocha color, living behind the natural jet black hair that you used to have. You touched the roots and then the ends of your hair, Hanni cut a few hair strands near your forehead, they weren't bangs, and it seemed like small, stylish strands.

"Thank you, so much." You give them a warm hug, you were really grateful for all that they were doing for you. "You look beautiful, Y/N."

You couldn't ask for better friends than them.

The living room was full of fuzzy blankets and pillows, where you three slept the remainder of the night, as you tightly hugged a hoodie that you had sneaked a few months ago into your side of the closet. A hoodie whose previous owner was Jay.

When the week came, Jay was surprised by the fact that he received a call from his secretary, saying that a 'Lee Heeseung' was there to deliver him something.

He didn't remember ordering anything.

But the name was what made his heart quicker… Lee Heeseung, from your Baezen Corp.

"Mr. Park, I come on behalf of your wife. She asked me to give you this." Jay's heart was in pieces… a thermal lunch bag.

It was his lunch, the one that you always made for him. You still made food for him, even though of the circumstances.

"Please have a good evening, sir."

With that, Heeseung left. And Jay was flattered he was hanging from a thread because of your actions.

He looked at the lunch bag and its containers, the same white containers where you placed his food.

"You're gonna be the end of me, Belle."

You were working soundly in your office, when the receptionist came by. "Mrs. Bae, it's from The Northern Branch, they say that your husband is sending it for you." You frowned in amusement, you weren't expecting Jay to send you something back.

She gave you a paper bag, knowing pretty well what it was.

It was from the place that Jay used to take out food for the both of you. A small note was attached to the bag.

'You always find your ways to surprise me… Every single day. Please enjoy, it's your favorite.'

When you opened the bag, you saw a package of chicken burgers and fries, and they were accompanied by cheese balls… Your favorite.

Your heart paced in a different beat, and for some reason you knew that this was going to hurt even more, but you would enjoy it anyway.

This kept up, back and forth, for the next two weeks it became a routine, the receptionist would leave a package from Jay and Heeseung would leave a package of yours in Jay's office.

And one day, you found yourself in front of the place that you used to call home, you rang the bell, hearing a voice coming from inside the house.

You were going to be greeted by Jay, but you hadn't seen him in a few weeks.

So, your heart took a leap when you saw him. He was wearing a sage green hoodie and a pair of sweat shorts.

"Hey!"

"Hi." You timidly responded, you didn't know how you were standing in front of him, not only was he making your heart quicken, but you were also feeling badly, a little strange.

It wasn't a nauseous feeling, it was something else, you felt like everything was spinning at some point, but you tried to focus, you had to get the remainder of your stuff out of the house.

"Please, come inside." He made space for you to go in, the living room looked spacious, and empty, as if something was missing, but the decorations that you placed there were still intact. They reminded him of you.

"You want some water?" Jay asked, getting rid of the silence. "No thanks, I'm not thirsty." You denied with a small voice.

Jay looked towards the bedroom, right upstairs. He noticed your uncomfortable state, and he wanted to take it out of the window, he wanted to hug you and kiss you, but he couldn't do that anymore.

"I-I'll go upstairs for a second, I can help you grab some of your stuff." You were surprised by how rushed he looked… Did he want you out of the house already?

Obviously he did, because then he wouldn't be in a rush.

You placed your hands in the kitchen isle, the only thing that was giving security, it felt like your feet were floating for a second, as if you were out of touch, out of reality.

You knew that pregnancy could make you feel light-headed, but this felt different. It just felt as if you were swaying around and your fingertips tingled with a sensation you couldn't describe.

You felt numb, and you tightly shut your eyes to get rid of the feeling, but when you opened them once again it just felt worse.

The sensation of your tennis shoes were gone, with just the feeling of a tight pressure on your feet being the only things that counted.

And that was when your legs felt wobbly and your arms were sore all of the sudden, and your mind was blank.

It was pure white, as if nothing was going on, no thoughts, no feelings, nothing.

Just a blurry vision setting in, your breath going quicker as your heart went slower, you felt that your heart was going to stop from how slow it was going, so you touched your chest with the little force that you had, and you let out a few heavy breath before your body finally gave in and your eyes went to the back of your head.

When your body fell to the ground, a thump was heard throughout the house, Jay heard it, a weird feeling kicking in his system.

Something's wrong

That was the first thing that came to his mind, so he called out for you. "Belle?"

He received no response, just the white noise of silence. That was when panic settled in, something was very wrong.

"Y/N?" He called out your name once again, as you rushed out of the room, pacing down the stairs.

And his heart dropped to the stomach, when he saw nobody there, nothing. Except for a small hand sticking from behind the kitchen isle. "Shit!"

That was the only word that came out of his mouth when he saw that, and the complete image was way more terrifying than what he had just seen.

He rushed towards you, quickly kneeling beside you, inspecting you completely.

Your body laid on the floor, a small bruise on your cheek and a nasty bloody cut on your forehead. It was obvious from the way that you laid that you had hit your head with the floor, leaving you with those nasty marks on your face.

"Y/N?" Jay took you into his arms, trying to lay your bottom on his lap in a way to make you comfortable.

The ambulance?! What was the emergency number?

Fuck! How could he not remember?"

He was in a state of shock, stress, even. Jay could only call out your name in a way to wake you up, but that wasn't working, you were not responding.

"Belle! Y/N! Wake up." He couldn't shake you awake, you most likely had a concussion and he was just going to make it worse if he shook you awake.

He finally reacted and reached for his phone, the emergency number had finally come back to his mind.

Jay waited for them to answer, as he looked down at you, a drop of blood oozing out of your wound and dripping down your forehead.

"119, what's your emergency?" A female voice was heard from the other side of the line. Jay felt his voice tremble, he was nervous and he was scared, he didn't know what he was doing.

"M-My wife- she just passed out, There's a wound in her head, I think she has a concussion." The woman noticed the fear in Jay's voice, she knew he was freaking out.

"I tried calling out for her, but she's not waking up." She asked for his location, but Jay wasn't thinking clearly, he couldn't remember those important details. So, the woman on the phone had to track his location. "I got your direction, an ambulance will be sent there in a minute. Please remain calm." Jay cut the call, and he then placed his hand on your cheek, he wanted you to be ok, he couldn't lose you, not yet.

"Hey… Help is coming, you are going to be ok." Jay expected you to hear him, but those words were also for himself, he needed to convince himself that you would be just fine.

"You are going to be just fine."

He caressed your cheek, being careful with your wound and being careful not to move you as much.

That was when he heard the ambulance closer, relief started to flow through him as he saw the paramedics enter the house.

They started to round you, and Jay let them do their work as they looked over you. "She has a concussion, we don't know to what degree, so we'll take her to the hospital."

Jay nodded at his words, feeling a lump form on his throat out of fear, but also of relief.

They put you on a stretcher and took you out of the house, with Jay right behind them. He was not going to leave alone, so he drove in the ambulance with you.

He kept his hand on top of yours in case you woke up not knowing what had happened.

Soon, they arrived at the hospital and they took you to the emergency room as a nurse stopped Jay from going any further. "She's my wife, I need to know that she's ok."

"I know, sir, but we need the doctors to do their work so we can help her."

With those words, Jay cursed under his breath, and anxiety took over him as he felt his chest heavy. He dialed your sister and she came at the speed of light, he didn't know how she got there so quickly.

"I don't know what happened, I went upstairs, then I heard a loud sound and that's when I went back to see her passed out." He sounded out of air, as if he couldn't breathe, like he just ran a marathon.

"She probably passed out and hit her head, we need to know why she passed out, though."

Juni murmured as she caressed Jay's arm to calm him down.

"Family of Bae Y/N?" One of the doctors came out of your room, a room Jay had requested to move you in, just for you to be comfortable.

"It's us, I'm her sister, he's her husband." The doctor nodded in understanding.

She looked at your chart once more, confirming why you passed out and how they needed to treat you.

"It seems like Y/N has a concussion from the fall, it's not that bad, but with her condition, we need to keep on the guard for a few days."

Jay frowned, a feeling of anxiety taking over and his heart started racing in expectation.

"What condition?" He steadied his voice.

That was when the doctor knew that your husband wasn't aware of anything, and maybe neither did you, but we all know that you fully knew.

"Y/N is twelve weeks pregnant."

His world stopped, he couldn't process the information.

Y/N is twelve weeks pregnant

He just felt numb, as if he was falling down a cliff of confusion.

Jay then figured…

She's been hiding it from me.

Y/N knows that she's pregnant.

"She has a severe case of anemia and low blood pressure, which explains why she fainted. Anemia is common during pregnancy, but such low blood levels is not a good thing."

Jay listened carefully to the doctor's words… he felt disappointed. Why would you hide this from him?

"Can we see her now?" He asked, he wanted to make sure that you were fine, he wanted to see you face to face and reassure himself that you would be just fine.

"You can." The doctor then guided them towards your room.

Jay saw how pale you looked, he noticed recently that you looked sick and fatigued… So that was why…

He got really close to your bed, sitting beside you on a plastic chair. You looked better than when you arrived, there was a small patch in your forehead and you were being fed IV meds, your lips were dry… He would remind you to take some water after you woke up, he noticed small eye bags under your eyes from exhaustion.

He then caressed your free hand, giving it warmth and love.

Jay was going to talk to you when you got better, but he didn't want to disturb you either.

"It's good to know that you are ok, we'll figure out how we are going to make this work, but I'm pretty sure it will." He then gave you a tender kiss on your forehead, on top of your bandage.

No matter what, he always adored you.

He will always love you.

"I'll call my parents and tell them that we-"

"Don't." Juni was confused.

"Y/N and I need to keep it private for a while, at least until she's comfortable telling the rest of the family."

Juni understood what he meant, and she nodded in agreement, putting her phone inside her pocket once again.

A few hours passed, and Jay's family arrived, Juni had told about your stay to Sunghoon and he had called the rest of the family in worry, but their eldest son told them a different story. You were anemic and that caused you to faint, so that way he could talk with you first and know that you were comfortable talking about your pregnancy.

Meanwhile, you were dreaming.

It was more like a nightmare, maybe.

You were in a hospital bed, the air was tense, the aura was tense.

It wasn't that the hospital bed was uncomfortable. It's the ambience, the situation that you just got into that made you uncomfortable.

Jongseong wasn't showing any type of expression, he was just standing, staring at the floor, maybe at his feet. You swore that his soul was wandering somewhere around the room.

You should've ended things sooner.

Maybe it was your fault, somehow.

That was when Jay got closer and looked at you with disappointment.

You couldn't tolerate it.

You needed to wake up!

And your eyes fluttered open, a small headache setting in. You could hear the sound of a heart monitor, the heartbeat was slow, nice and you knew that it was yours.

A small presence was causing chills in your body, but you were too weak to move, and only a whimper escaped your lips.

"Hey." It was Jay.

"Hi."

You noticed that he was holding your hand, giving it a slight squeeze. You loved his warmth.

"I was going to tell you before I became a nervous wreck, but I like your hair." He said with a smile, his other hand laying on top of your head, giving it a light massage.

His smile was what got him away.

"You know already, right?" A tired smile settled on your lips, you were trying to light the ambience with it.

Jay had to admit that it was working.

"There was no need to hide it from me, but I understand why you did it… You were scared, weren't you?" You squeezed back his hand, he knew you pretty well. "Maybe… a little bit."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed."

He caressed your cheek with care. He always found ways to make you fall for him once again. "Will figure it out, ok. For now, I'll make sure that you are in a completely good condition."

"Yeah, ok."

Your voice was small and weak, and that was cue for Jay. He knew you were tired, not only from the big blow you got on your head, but also from your pregnancy.

"You should get some sleep, you look really tired." He passed his hands through your hair, his touch being soft and delicate.

He is gorgeous.

You felt a sudden urge to ask him a really personal question, you didn't know how he'll respond, but you still asked.

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

His heart fluttered, a small smirk adorning his lips. "Why would I leave?" He had a lot of reasons to leave, why wouldn't he? He was divorcing you, but there was a small thought wandering around your mind.

"Jay?"

"Yes?"

You build up the courage to ask, not knowing if it was a good idea to ask, and if he would leave after that.

"You never gave me any divorce papers." You felt a little bit of anxiety, maybe because Jay just stared at you with surprise. He wasn't expecting you to ask that.

He cleared his throat, trying to proceed with what he wanted to say.

"Are you asking me… to give them to you?" His expression was dull, like sadness had consumed his face. "No, it's not that… we are separating, but you never asked me to sign any documents." You pursed your lips, looking down at your covered legs.

His face said it all.

He wasn't looking at you either, he just looked at the floor, just to brush his hair with his hand.

"You are not ready to fill the papers, are you?"

This time you grabbed his hand, holding it lightly with the strength that you had. He finally looked at you, he was kinda embarrassed and he didn't know how he had reached that situation.

So when you shook his head, you giggled.

"Don't laugh at me."

You covered your mouth with your hand, trying to contain the slight laughter that came from your mouth. "I'm not."

He squeezed your hand once again, his warmth irradiated through your body, you could feel his nerves go up.

Jay inhaled before proceeding to tell you what he wanted to say. "It was difficult enough when you left, you didn't even say goodbye and I didn't either, but I wasn't brave enough to watch you go from up-close."

"I don't even know how I tolerated not being with you at home, it felt really empty… because you were missing. Your oversized sweatshirts laying around the house were gone, the smell of your food was gone, your scent stayed for a few days, before it finally faded away. And your energy was gone, your cute smile in the mornings, brushing your teeth while I took a shower, there was nobody waiting for me when I got back home."

"You left a few shampoo bottles around, I left them intact because they reminded me of you, I bought your perfume bottle just to spray it around, because I missed you. Your warmth was missing and that sweet aura that was around the house was completely gone."

He paused for a moment, you weren't expecting Jay to miss you that much, to the point of describing every single thing that he missed from you.

"That house was a place that I couldn't call home anymore, because you were missing. My advisor told me to send the papers after you were gone, but then Heeseung came around with your food packages and… if I found it impossible to get those papers ready, I knew at that moment that I couldn't let you go. And when you came back home today, I felt the need to tell you to stay, so I went upstairs to calm down." That was when he chuckled, he knew what happened after, you both knew.

"Well, I think I know the rest." You murmured. "Yeah, you definitely do."

You stayed quiet for a while, the silence was comfortable and with you both holding hands, everything was better, it was nice and it was cozy.

"I don't want to leave you, Belle." His eyes glimmered with hope, gaze looking directly into your softened eyes. "I don't want to leave you, either."

"I thought I was doing you a favor if we got a divorce. At one point we weren't talking that much and we just had sex, we both knew that our relationship wasn't in the best place, but I just knew that you were hurting, so I did what I thought was the right thing."

You looked at him with a caring gaze and you rubbed his hand trying to comfort him.

"And what happened after that?"

He passed his hand through your locks, he looked at you like he was watching the stars from the clouds.

"I realized that I can't live without you."

Your heart leaped to your throat, but you kept your cool, you smirked at him, you tried to do that weird facial expression when he tried to be cocky.

Jay coughed from seeing your face, he knew what you were doing. You were imitating him.

"Don't do that face." He pinched your cheek, just for you to try to get his hand away with a giggle.

"I can't live without you either." You said between giggles. His eyes lit up when he saw your smile, when he heard your laughter.

Jay rubbed your cheeks, he liked how chubby they were and how your eyes glistened, as you looked at him with love, with a cutesy smile.

When he looked at your face, he knew that he wanted to be with you forever, and whatever this fear was, you could get over it, he would find a way too.

Because he wasn't ready to let you go.

So, when he asked you the next thing… You were taken back to a year ago.

"Do you love me, Mrs. Bae?" His eyes were hopeful, you remembered how he looked that night near the swimming pool, looking at you lovingly as you sat on one of the beds.

His face was exactly the same as from that day, eyes pretty and shiny.

"I do, Mr. Park." Jay let out a small laugh, as his chest felt the hard heartbeats thumping on its cage.

"I do love you, Jay." Your eyes watered, as your voice waved, you quickly nodded your head with happiness.

It felt like being free, because you could finally say it, the fear was there, the fear of what if… But you would figure it out in the long run, for now you just wanted to think about the present and how you wanted to feel Jay's warmth once again.

"Good… because I love you, Mrs. Bae." As your heartbeat quickened and the heart monitor showed it, Jay quickly placed a kiss on your lips.

You closed your eyes in relief, and you felt the butterflies rummaging on your tummy, he cut the kiss just to place his lips on top of your forehead, where your bandage was.

You placed your hand on his jawline, and when he got away, he placed his hand on top of yours to feel your warmth on his face.

You were surprised that you didn't start crying a long time ago, looking at him just made you want to smile and laugh all the way, but your tears made your smile glowy. "Do you think I can go back home?" When you asked, sniffles could be heard, making him giggle, and then he gave you a quick peck on the lips. "Why would you even ask? I want you home already."

The moment was wholesome, and for once and for all, you could finally feel his love radiating from his body.

And that night when you fell asleep, he looked at you as if he could protect your sleep, your dreams and everything that you wished for.

Jay fell asleep a few hours later, with his head on top of your lap.

When the morning came by, Jay asked your sister to look after you, so he could take your stuff back home, and also bring what you would need in your hospital stay.

"Can I get back to work as soon as possible? Mom is going to be pissed." You asked your sister, as she rubbed the pale skin of your knuckles.

Her jaw almost fell ajar when she heard your words.

"Why would you even think about that right now?! Focus on resting! Your health won't improve if you don't and your baby will be affected." She played with your hair, just like when you were a child, her way to comfort you from how harsh your mother treated you.

"Just imagine this, I'm pretty sure that your baby will be the cutest thing, they will have your chubby cheeks for sure and Jay's pretty lips. Just imagine, they'll be the prettiest." Juni kept on saying, as she rubbed your abdomen, which was a little bit bigger now, the bump was growing as it should, but you hoped that the baby would be slightly bigger than before.

A knock was heard from outside the room, and you saw Jay waving his hand with that weird smile that he made sometimes.

"I'm back, Belle." He walked towards you, just to give you a peck in your forehead. "You took your time."

"Sorry about that, I wanted to make sure that I brought what you needed." Jay put a bag on one of the plastic seats, it was a travel bag, from where he took out a green 'Atlanta Georgia' sweatshirt that you had packed in one of your bags.

"Thank you, Jay."

You grabbed the piece of clothing and put it on top of your hospital gown, he accommodated the sleeves of your sweatshirts, caressing your arms right after.

"One of the nurses said that the doctor wants to do an ultrasound to see how the baby's doing." Juni said with a light excitement in her voice.

Jay was excited as well, this was the first ultrasound that he would presence, this would be your second.

As if it was her cue, the doctor came in to attend you. She brought an ultrasound machine with her, which surprised your husband. It wasn't a big piece of equipment, but it just made him more nervous than he already was. It just felt way too real for him.

"Good morning, Y/N. Are you feeling better?"

You grabbed Jay's hand between yours, sensing that some sort of anxiety was taking over him, he just wriggled his legs a little and the hand you held was moving its fingers way too much.

"Kinda tired, but other than that I feel fine." You looked at your husband, as a way to reassure him that you were feeling ok, and that everything was fine.

"I want to do a routine ultrasound, just to make sure that your pregnancy is developing correctly, as well as the baby." She took out a doppler and a gel bottle to put over your stomach.

You raised your gown and sweatshirts up, uncovering your abdomen, the only thing covering your bottoms were the hospital blankets. Your hands rested on top of the fabric of your risen clothes, but Jay grabbed one of them in an attempt to calm himself down.

His eyes laid on your bump, it was small, but it was noticeable if you used tight clothing, you were a person who used loose clothing at home, so it didn't surprise him that he didn't notice it at first.

"You'll feel a sensation of coldness." The doctor said before putting a patch of gel on top of your lower stomach, on top of your little bump. A chilling sensation went through your body, and you shut your eyes as you purse your lips. "It's really chilly." You said squeezing Jay's hand. "Is it really?" He almost laughed, as he saw your expression. Jay was trying to be playful with you for a second.

Your doctor pressed the doppler on your stomach, moving it around as you felt a strong urge to pee because of the water that you had drank after the nurse told you about the ultrasound. She moved it near your pelvis, finally locating your baby on the screen.

"There they are." Jay looked up towards the screen, seeing a black and white image that showed a tiny human in the middle of the darkness, their legs kicked as much as they could and their tiny arms fidget around.

"They seem to be moving a little, and it looks like they are developing just fine." You let out a sigh of relief, somehow you hadn't noticed that you were holding your breath for a moment until Jay's amused face got into your view.

"Why are they so tiny?" Your husband's eyes shimmered with adoration, he had never seen something so small, especially if they were growing inside your body.

He was enchanted, like he had just fallen in love once again, and you had just noticed. Jay was hypnotized, he saw the little baby move as much as they could and he couldn't help but feel like he was magnified.

"The baby is in its twelfth week, they still have a lot of time to grow." Your doctor chuckled at how Jay looked. He truly had just fallen in love, once again.

"Can we know the gender?" You asked with curiosity, causing Jay to come out of his trance. That caught his attention, he wanted to know what the baby would be.

Jongseong looked at the doctor, hopeful for her to say that you could.

"It wouldn't be a hundred percent accurate, but there's no problem trying." With that, Jay had a childlike smile sticking to his face, like a kid that was given a big chocolate bar.

The doctor moved the doppler once again, finding a focus point and looking carefully at the screen, the anticipation was eating you alive and you bounced your leg as you waited for the doctor to tell you what you were waiting for.

Jay played with your fingers, his feet moving side to side while he waited.

The doctor hummed in curiosity, finally seeing what she was looking for. "If this is completely accurate, I can tell you that you are having a girl."

"A girl?" Your heart leaped as you heard your husband's voice.

His baby was a girl…

That tiny, little thing was his daughter.

A pretty, little girl.

"Jay?" You called out his name, again, taking him out of his trance.

He rubbed your hand with care and with admiration, but his eyes were focused on the screen, it was like he was lost in a completely different galaxy, like it was just that small black and white picture and him.

He just looked dazed.

Because for him, it just felt too real.

"I think he is in shock." Your sister giggled, but you turned your head to look at him carefully. He truly was in a trance, he was lost.

The doctor couldn't help, but giggle as well. This was a common sight for her, parents amused by the child that they would soon hold in their arms.

"It's something pretty common for first-time parents, I wouldn't worry about it if I was you." She grabbed her equipment and tapped the metal while she looked at you. "Your baby is doing completely fine, she seems healthy. She looks a little bit small for how far along the pregnancy is, but as I was saying, there's still a lot of time for her to grow."

The female wished you a good day, walking away from your room and attending other patients.

Your gaze was back to Jay, while you pulled down the gown and your sage sweatshirt. Your fingers tickled his skin, trying to bring Jay out of his universal traveling. Maybe it worked, because your husband looked down at his feet, wetting his lips with his tongue.

"Earth to Jay, are you back already?" Juni snapped her fingers in front of him. You chuckled, noticing how he lifted his gaze and how his eyes got glossy.

"We lost you there for a second, Mr. Park." Jongseong shook his head, he broke away from his fantasy.

"Sorry, I was fazed."

You lovingly faced him, placing your hand on his cheek. "We definitely didn't notice."

"It's just… She's so small, it feels surreal."

"She seems so tiny to hold." He whispered with a tone of nerves in his voice. "Jay, she still has time to grow."

"I know, but she'll still be small by the time we get to hold her." He liked his lips again, biting the bottom flesh right after, but still a smirk got to settle in.

"What?" You asked, not knowing what his face meant.

"There's going to be a small version of you running around the house. She'll probably have your pretty doe eyes, and your chubby rosey cheeks. Her eyes will glimmer like the ocean just smiled at the moon." Your husband's smile just grew bigger as he continued talking, his mind was navigating every single scenario.

"A Mini Belle."

Jay's gaze turned deep, pretty specs on his eyes that showed his enchantment, his enthusiasm.

"You are so cheesy!" Your smile grew as well, your mind also navigated towards the description that Jay had just given you. Something inside of you screamed that your child would look just like your husband.

"I'm not being cheesy, I'm being real."

"It doesn't matter, however she looks like she'll be more than loved. Especially with the infatuated father that she is about to have."

Father.

A word that he wasn't expecting to be called so soon.

But still…

Jay was loving it already.

ACT SIX: Maybe I blame my mother bleeding into my stride, maybe it was my father and his wandering eyes.

"Uno!"

The happy cheer could be heard around the house, the neighbors might even say that it was heard to the other side of the street.

You raised your hands up in victory. Jongseong still having three cards in hand.

It wasn't that long ago that you were talking about going back to work just for the fact that you didn't want to disappoint your mother, but with the passing of days your energy was completely different.

"This is the third time that you've won." Jay said with defeat, you had played a few board games that evening and he didn't know how you had the energy and also the spirit to keep on playing, as well as winning.

"And I'll keep doing it, you sore loser." You stick out your tongue like a five-year old playing a game of dolls. "Well, well, this sore loser will go somewhere else." Jay got up from the floor, the edges of the coffee table leaving marks on both of his arms.

While you pouted at him leaving you by yourself. "Jay, I'm just joking around!" You followed after him, right towards the kitchen.

"I know, I'm joking with you as well. What do you want for dinner?" He quickly changed the topic, trying to keep a cheerful expression on you. He hadn't seen you this happy since you were a teen, preteen to say the least.

You already had an idea of what you wanted to eat, you had been craving it the whole afternoon.

At your 14 week of pregnancy, you noticed that you were having cravings for the first time. It was simple things, like chocolate ice cream, or pineapple slices.

"Can we order pizza margarita?"

"That sounds-"

"With french fries… and pickles." You said taping the marble of the kitchen isle, expectant of a response. Knowing Jay, he would say yes to you.

But this was the first time that you asked for something so specific.

"We don't have pickles anymore?" He scratched the back of his neck, he opened the fridge door looking for the refrigerated snack, just to find none.

You picked yourself up, sitting on the edge of the marble, waiting for your husband to find what you wanted.

"I don't think so."

Jay turned around, closing the fridge behind him. Looking at your small form sitting on top of the isle, that moment he leaned in closer to your body, hands on each side of you, noses almost rubbing each other.

"How hungry are you?"

You giggled at how close he was.

"From one to ten… a fifty-eight." He kissed your lips with a small peck. "I'll go buy some, then." He got away with intentions to go for his shoes, but you quickly got off the isle, with tiny, but speedy steps you took towards him.

"Wait, I'm coming with you."

Jay drove to the grocery store, having called the pizza place for pick up in thirty minutes. As he drove towards the store, he kept his hand on your thigh and you did what you usually did, rub his hand, his knuckles.

You both usually did the groceries your separate ways, but this was one of the few times that you did it together.

You got to the parking lot, with Jay all over you because of how cold it was. At a certain point, you understood, but it got exaggerated within seconds.

"You should wear a beanie, it's really cold inside. I don't want you to get sick." He took a gray beanie from inside the car, living you stunted with how he was acting.

There was a pink knitted sweater warming your skin, as well as some cozy sweatpants and socks. You were more than fine.

He got the beanie on your head, causing you to whimper from how weird his hands felt on your head.

"Jay, love, I'm fine." You chuckled, pushing his hands away from your body. "I'm just making sure you are ok." He grabbed your face, cupping your cheeks, as he looked at every detail of your face.

It hurt him to see the purple-ish bruise on your left cheek, and the butterfly band aid that was at the corner of your forehead. So, for the past two weeks he had been kissing the spots where your skin had been affected, even the marks of the IV on the back of your hand, he kissed them while you were asleep.

And that's what he did, he placed a soft kiss on your bruised cheek, and then he planted a longer kiss on your forehead.

He had been so soft recently.

Ever since you got out of the hospital, even at the hospital… He got clingy and his gaze always shone when he looked at you.

"You look adorable, Belle."

He turned you around towards the store, keeping his hands on your shoulders.

Jay was more than sure that he wasn't coming out of that grocery store with just a jar of pickles. He had a feeling that there would be so much more.

Your husband swore that he saw little sparks on your eyes when you looked for pickles, it wasn't just because of that, but because of the various food items that you saw around.

Pretty eyes glowing as you saw a huge packet of strawberries, kiwis and even those big bags of sweetened bread that you never wanted to try, but now you were hypnotized by it.

"Look Jay, it's rice krispies!" The fact that you acted like your ten-year old self, was warming his soul with happiness.

You looked happy, you were happy.

You were pointing at the big box of cereal treats that was at the top of a counter. You jumped in place with a cute grin on your lips.

"I think I can fetch them if you put me on top of your shoulders." For some reason, Jay saw all the things that could go wrong, he saw your cute smile and he felt tempted, but he wasn't sure if that would be a good idea.

"Don't be silly, we can just call someone and ask them to take it down for us. No need to complicate things." He patted your head, that was covered by the beanie that he put on you.

"I'll be right back, I'll look for somebody to take it down." Jay rubbed your arm, walking away towards one of the store owners.

He had a feeling that when he got back, you would be gone and that you would be in a different section looking for something else.

"Excuse me," Jay asked one of the workers. He wore a white shirt with an orange vest that represented the colors of the store.

"Can you please help me bring down a box in the cookie section?" The man agreed following him towards the section. When they arrived, the wheeled basket was there… but you weren't.

He knew it!

He just had a feeling that you would wander off, he looked around for a second, quickly pointing at the rice krispies box, so the worker could bring it down.

Jay walked towards the end of that section, but soon he got relieved, because he saw you sprinting towards him with a big pint of ice cream in hand.

"Love, look, they had chocolate milk and cookies ice cream." You got in front of him, with that cutesy smile of before.

The worker got the box down just in time. "Oh! You got the rice krispies!" You put down the pint of ice cream in the cart, then thanked the worker for the box.

You tried to grab it, but Jay was quicker than you. "I'll take it for you. Thank you!" Jay thanked the worker, putting the box down on the cart.

"I think we can go for that pizza now." You tapped the edge of the basket, getting pretty giddy and excited for dinner.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Jay asked teasingly. You had forgotten why you came into the store in the first place. So, you frowned at him, not knowing what you were forgetting, until…

"What am i- The pickles! I completely forgot!" You ran towards that section, causing Jay to look at you with worry. "Y/N don't run too fast, be careful!"

He still didn't understand where you got so much energy recently.

You finally went back home after leaving the store and picking up your pizza order. Jay had asked them to add french fries to your order, like you wanted.

Jay had sliced pieces of pickles, so they would be at the side of your plate… but you still grabbed the whole jar to eat the rest.

"It's really tasty!" You pointed out. Maybe Jay looked at you weird, maybe because you had placed the pickles on top of your food. "You wanna try?" You asked.

Your husband thought about it for a second, before letting you feed him the strange combination.

He swallowed, analyzing the taste and the texture of what he had just eaten.

"Well?" A part of you wondered what he was thinking. He still had some pieces of food that he chewed, so you were expectant to know his opinion.

"It's actually… really tasty." With that you clapped your hands with enthusiasm. "You like it?"

"Yeah, I do." He grabbed the slice of pizza that you had in hand, taking away your food. "Yah!" You hit his arm, feeling betrayed.

"That's mine!"

Jay covered his mouth with his hand as he chewed. "Not anymore."

Let's say that you might have hit him with the pillows that laid on the sofa. It didn't take time until he responded with the same actions, which ended with an attack of pillows and tickles in the living room.

The laughs and the screams of plea could be heard throughout the house, and the people that heard outside the house, felt that there would be a lot of happiness rummaging around the house, for a long, long time.

Later that night, you laid on top of the soft navy blue mattress and its covers, a comfy blanket keeping you warm.

Not only that, but your husband's arms around your body were giving you the protection and the warmth that you craved and needed. He kept behind yours, his lips touching your hair, smelling the scent of your shampoo, feeling that vanilla scent that he always liked.

"Maybe Chip will have your energy when she grows up." His low voice tickled on your scalp, running chills down your spine, even though that still kept you wondering:

"Who is Chip?" You giggled from his breath hitting your hair.

"Our baby, Y/N. She's Chip." He rubbed your covered belly, which in the past weeks had grown a little bit more than before. You wondered why your bump wasn't bigger than the rest, so you got a little bit insecure.

"But why Chip? How did you come up with that nickname?"

"Well, if you are my Belle, then our tiny human is our Chip." You were surprised by that, it was cute. You wondered how Jay could come up with those types of things, but whatever he came up with, it was always with his heart.

"You still remember that?"

"You made me and my brothers watch that movie every time you visited, those characters are engraved in my mind at this point." He ranted, making you laugh once again. Your hands on top of his, which caressed your abdomen.

"I guess you were really in love with me, because not even Sunghoon remembers that stuff." You teased him.

He stayed quiet for a second, taking in your warmth, every single mole of your arms and the smell of your hair.

"I've been in love with you ever since I entered my pre-teens. When you visited, you were the only person I paid attention to, and Sunghoon always bothered me about that, he said that I was going crazy for you. He wasn't wrong." Jay kissed the back of your head, his fingers lingering on top of your arms.

"Everytime I waited for Hoon, I took advantage of being there, so I could see you. I always wondered why you didn't wear your uniform correctly?" This time, he let a chuckle escape from his lips, the vibration running down your spine a second time.

"I was trying to impress you. I guess it didn't work."

"It kinda did work, don't worry."

Jay got you closer to his body, you could feel the fabric of his shirt touching the parts where your skin was uncovered. He snuggled you with care, and he then placed his chin on your shoulder, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, Jay. Good night."

He smiled to himself, feeling his stomach get warm. "I love you too, Belle."

You never truly had that much insecurities growing up.

Yeah, sometimes you wondered if your body fitted the standards of the time, but you never neglected your body and didn't reach the point of changing it.

But now that you were pregnant, a new insecurity came in.

Being small.

Your belly wasn't as big as the rest of other pregnant women. You saw that their bumps were bigger and that meant that their baby was healthy, developing as they should.

Even if your doctor had told you that babies and bumps could be smaller than normal, and that it was nothing to worry about, you still felt that you were doing something wrong.

And watching your reflection in the mirror, you noticed today that nothing had really changed, your bump was still small, and you worried that your baby wasn't developing correctly.

You were going out that day, to your appointment with Dr. Choi. She asked you to come in when you entered your second trimester.

That was more stressful for you, maybe the doctor would say that something was not right because you were way too small to be in your second trimester, in your fourteenth week.

Your hands rubbed your belly, noticing how your jeans still fitted and your bump was sticking out through the fabric, but it still didn't look like you were pregnant.

"Belle! Why are you taking so long?"

Jay's voice was close, he had entered the room and soon he saw the bathroom door ajar. He wondered what you were doing.

He opened the door, finding the sight where you just felt dissatisfied, also disappointed.

"My jeans still fit." Your voice sounded defeated, and your husband didn't fail to notice. "Is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?" He walked towards you, getting right behind you, his hands placed on your shoulders.

"I don- I don't know… Maybe a bad thing?" Jay frowned at your words, he was about to ask why, but you took the words out of his mouth. "It's just… I don't look pregnant." You whispered, feeling a sense of sadness within you.

"And what's the bad thing about that? If you look pregnant, if you don't look pregnant it doesn't matter, what matters is that you are healthy and that Chip is healthy. Isn't that what matters?"

"Are you still calling her Chip? I have a feeling that she will hate that nickname." You looked at him with a tiny grin.

"She will not, and don't change the topic. Every one it's different, you don't have to feel bad just because you are smaller than others or bigger than others, what matters is that you are healthy, that you have people who love you just the way you are, why shouldn't you love yourself that way?" He kissed the back of your head, just to turn you around and give you a kiss on the lips.

"Don't worry, everything is fine."

After that he guided you to the car, with the intention to take you to your appointment with the OB/GYN.

Currently you are at Dr. Choi's office, she put a blood pressure monitor on your arm, feeling the hold of the sleeve press your arm, causing it to hurt a little bit as well.

When she took the sleeve off your arm, she told you to get on the bed, as Jay helped you to lift up your satin shirt, staying right by your side while you waited for the doctor to put the doppler on top of your lower stomach.

You had just drank a few bottles of water before arriving at your appointment, it was funny, because you could feel how you were holding in your pee.

It was worse when she put the doppler on your abdomen, near your pelvis, moving it around made it way far worse.

"I need to go to the bathroom after this." Jay just laughed at you, he noticed how you stirred your legs, because you could not hold it in anymore. "There's a bathroom near, right?"

"Yeah, right beside the room. Don't worry, we'll be done in a few minutes."

Please.

Make it quick…

Or I will pee my pants!

"I hope so, if not I'll need to buy a new pair of jeans on the way out." You were really making

Jay laugh, he knew you were serious, but he still found it funny. "You are laughing now, but if you had an object pressing against your full bladder, you wouldn't be feeling at your best."

Dr. Choi just looked at the both of you with a smirk, she found you both adorable, funny to say the least.

"It's not a big deal, you'll feel the urge to pee throughout the rest of your pregnancy."

That was a deal breaker.

"If I think about peeing, I'm going to pee sooner." You focused on the ceiling, the thoughts of things different to what you were talking about had to keep you distracted.

"We won't talk about pee then." Jay teased with a raised eyebrow. You hit his arm with annoyance. "Ok. Ok, I'll stop bothering you."

The doctor finally found the baby, keeping her focus on your daughter. "I can confirm you that you are having a girl, and…"

There was a weird sound dancing around the room, like wild horses that ran free towards a new home. It was strong, it was beautifully weird.

"She has a really strong heartbeat."

With those words, you were in awe. Such a small thing could make such a powerful sound? How could a small thing make such a powerful work?

"That's how her heart sounds like?" Your husband asked, he was hypnotized again, you could hear it from his delicate voice. Dr. Choi could only nod with a smile.

"I never got to hear it… It's beautiful." In the two appointments that you had, you never got the chance to listen to her heartbeat, but it was worth the wait.

"It's really fast." Jay thought loudly.

"The heartbeat of a baby inside the womb it's really fast. Your daughter is developing completely fine, especially with that loud heart of hers, she's really healthy." She kept the doppler in place to give you a moment to look at your daughter.

She moves a lot.

She kicks her tiny feet so much.

She's fine.

"As for the other stuff, I want you to take better care of yourself, Y/N. Your blood pressure is low, but it has improved from before. You need to keep taking your iron capsules."

"I'll make sure that she follows that." Jay kept a hand on top of your head. "How can I not, if you are all over me?" You commented, your eyebrows raised with intentions of imitating his face a few minutes ago.

"Shush, woman." He placed his finger on his mouth.

"I'll see you in four weeks."

"Thank you, Doctor."

It wasn't an exaggeration when I say that you ran towards the bathroom after that appointment.

Jay waited for you right outside, and when you came out, he kept his hand around your waist. "I told you. What matters is that you and our baby are healthy, yeah?"

You shook your head, not able to give him an excuse. "Yeah, you are right." You leaned keeping your head near his shoulder, soon noticing a small envelope on his hand.

That was not there before.

"What is that?" You pointed at his hand.

Jay looked down at the envelope, a smile making itself comfortable on his face.

"The doctor called me when you were in the bathroom. These are pictures from the ultrasound." Your eyes lit, a feeling of excitement taking over your small form.

"Really? Can I see them?" Jay didn't hesitate to give you the envelope, your hands sneaking around the piece of paper, opening it, just to be stunted with the glossy-textured pictures of the baby that was growing inside you.

You took the pictures out, your fingers lingered at the small fourteen week old on the black and white picture.

She was all yours.

Jay's and yours.

You were going to keep her safe forever.

"She's ours, Jay. Can you believe that?"

When he saw your enchanted face, he knew that you had fallen down the same cycle that he had fallen into.

"It's difficult to believe, but I know she's ours." He kept his hand on your waist, as he placed a kiss on your head.

Your baby was more than loved.

When you reached your seventeenth week of pregnancy, you went back to work. Jay wasn't that convinced, but he knew that you had a position to get to.

Your mother didn't know that you were pregnant, in fact nobody in your family did, except for Juni.

It was your sister who insisted on you taking a few weeks off of work, take a rest from your fainting accident a few weeks back. You still had the marks of your injuries, but they were not that visible.

You received weird looks from your coworkers when they saw Jay come inside the building with you.

His hand protectively laying on your shoulder.

He needed to make sure that you would arrive safely, and he also needed to make sure that you didn't have any trouble with your mother or the people from the foundation that worked with her.

"I need to grab a few documents from reception, won't take too long."

You pulled away from your husband, for some reason he felt weird, like something was about to come up.

And he always had a good sense of intuition.

Jay said that maybe you could take advantage that your bump was small, nobody would notice until you reached further weeks of pregnancy.

But, he hadn't just talked that out with you.

"You know, sometimes I wonder if I truly love my job or if I'm just staying there because I want to prove my mother wrong." You laid on top of him on the sofa, you were being lazy that day. You didn't have any intentions to move.

"And which one gives you a stronger sense of agreement?" He asked, pulling a hair away from your face, tracing your features.

"I love my career, but I hate the reason why I'm working on this… I should be vice-president because I love it, not because I want my mother to be proud." You raised your head up, looking at him with a serious face. You truly hoped he understood what you felt.

"And why don't you leave?" A question that you always thought about. Why haven't I left already?

"Because, my mother will hate me more than she already does."

"That's not a good thing and you know that." He paused, sitting up on the sofa, keeping you on his lap. "Try to be in a place where you will be comfortable.You can take a break from working, or you can get a different job. I know it sounds hard, but sooner or later, you will not be in a good place mentally if you stay just because of that."

"There's also a vacant place for vice-president in the Southern Branch if you are interested." Your heart warmed up quickly.

"Thanks Love, just… give me time to think about it, ok?" He gave you a peck on the lips, before making contact with you, once again.

"Ok."

"Y/N!" Your stomach felt a sharp sensation of anxiety, before it went away, but your heart was beating really fast, maybe even faster than your daughter's own heartbeat.

Shit!

Mom.

"I don't know how you always come up with stupid excuses, but still you always disappoint me. Sometimes I truly wonder if you deserve this position, and I can tell you that I was wrong in making you part of this business in the first place."

"We needed you in the past few weeks, and you are lucky that your sister tried to justify you, but you know very well that doesn't work with me. We know you were lazing around while you were gone." She grabbed your arm, casing it to go red with her fingers, but it didn't hurt, what hurt was how she treated you with her words.

"You truly are a failure. You don't deserve to be called 'Mrs. Bae', our family name does not suit you." What else could you say? You were used to her harsh and cutting words that gave you a slap on the face when you were little, you had grown up to tolerate it and to prove her that she was wrong about you, but in that moment you were paralyzed, your heart had shattered in a million pieces and you had nobody to pick up the pieces from the floor.

Except you did.

Not only was it yourself, but your husband was going to have your back when your heart was broken into pieces, that was his promise ever since you sorted your relationship.

You felt somebody pull you away from your mother's tight grasp, his hand taking in yours with love and care.

"She's been 'Mrs. Park' to you ever since she married me and joined my family, because with a mother like you, who would like to carry your surname?" Your husband's voice was raised, loud enough for the rest of the staff to listen to him trying to defend you.

"Y/N has worked really hard to make you proud and nothing ever seems to convince you. Ever since she was a kid nothing was enough to you, when she actually gave her all. A mother is supposed to bring her children up with happiness, not break them into pieces."

Jay was mad, mad at how you had been suffering from her abuse for so long, mad at how she still didn't understand that she would soon destroy you if this didn't come to a stop.

"Y/N hasn't been well these past few weeks and her sister insisted on her to rest, because even though she was hospitalized, she still thought about what you would think if she wasn't present at work, she has tolerated your harsh words and your abuse, but it's coming to a stop, now!" Your mother just smirked, a chuckle leaving her lips.

She came closer to you, Jay still by your side, but you tried to stand tall towards her. "This is your last warning, Y/N. If I see one of these little acts again, if you disappoint me one more time…"

"You are fired."

That was your chance. You needed to end this cycle, because you knew that you would soon break, break one more time.

You breathed in, processing the words that you were about to say, and keeping the tears of rage and fury in their place.

She was not gonna see you cry.

"There's no need for that, mother." You finally looked at her right in the eyes and you said those words that desperately wanted to come out of your throat. "I quit. There's no need to fire me."

You looked away from your mother, and took your gaze towards Jay's, he wasn't expecting you to do that, he was more than surprised.

And with your eyes it was more than clear that you wanted to leave.

"Let's go." You squeezed his hand, finally making your way into the parking lot.

You didn't know that you were holding your breath for so long, but when you loosened up, it felt like breathing fresh air.

Freedom for a second time.

Freedom for once and for all.

"I can't believe I just did that." You finally spoke up. "Me neither. At least you have a big weight off your shoulders."

You didn't notice that tears spilled down your cheeks. Jay placed his hands on both sides of your face, getting the tears away from your pink cheeks.

"Hey, Everything is fine, you are ok." He caressed your face in a way to comfort, but you looked down at your feet, feeling embarrassed about how you were crying over leaving your job, away from your abusive mother.

"I know, but I just realized that I lost my job." A sob got stuck in your throat, it was because you wanted it that way, you wanted to stop your cries.

Jay felt like his heart would break just by seeing you cry. "I understand, Belle. I truly do, but what matters now is that everything will be fine starting from now on." You couldn't hold your sobs anymore and a few rolled out your lips while more tears streamed down the skin of your face.

"You want me to take you home?" He waited for your sobs to calm down, so you could answer him.

You gulped down, a slight pain setting on your sinuses.

"Yes, please."

Did Jay personally ask Hanni and Heeseung to stay with you while he was gone at work?

Did Jay call you every hour to check on your emotional and mental state?

Yes, he did.

You told him that he shouldn't bother at all, but he wouldn't budge. He insisted on keeping an eye on you, because he knew that you were in a vulnerable state.

"It's good that you quit. She shouldn't keep on abusing you, and if she continued she could've damaged your mental state." Hanni rubbed your back, while Heeseung made another cup of chocolate for you.

"I'm used to it, already. It doesn't really hurt me anymore."

"That is not a really healthy thing to say, Y/N." Heeseung placed the cup of chocolate on the coffee table. "I know, I know, but it's the truth. Maybe today… it did hurt a bit, she said that I wasn't up for the family name."

"Then, why am I still working on a family business where I'm not seen enough for it?"

Heeseung looked at his feet for a few seconds, before he licked his lips and spoke up.

"If you are not there anymore, I will quit as well. I'm your secretary, and if you are not working anymore, what's the point of staying there?" You shook your head in disbelief, your eyes widened at his words.

He was going to be jobless if he did that, and that's what you least wanted for him. He had worked hard for that job, he couldn't let it go.

"Don't be stupid, you can't do that! I'm not letting you lose your job because of me, that's ridiculous."

"There isn't any work to be done, Y/N. You are the reason why I have my position, and if you leave, I don't have any job to work on."

Heeseung was kind of right, you were his boss, he was your secretary, he was basically jobless from now on, because he had just lost the reason why he was working, he was supposed to be your right hand and now he didn't have any work to do for you.

You didn't think about that.

"You are not changing my decision. I'm telling them tomorrow." He placed his hand on your arm, trying to comfort you.

A small part of you feeling guilt, because now Heeseung had lost his job because of you. It was eating you alive on the inside.

The night was traveling around, and with that you had asked them both to leave, and that you would be fine by yourself, while you waited for Jay to arrive.

You had found a way to convince Hanni, she was reluctant, but she gave in after some convincing, she made you promise that you would answer her calls at any time.

But with Heeseung, that was a different story. Even after Hanni left, he insisted on staying, that he wouldn't leave you alone until Jay got home.

"You should go home and rest, Heeseung." You tried guiding him towards the door, but it was no use. He stood in his place, pretty sure of what he was doing.

"I'm staying here, you had a rough day. Also, Jay would kill me if he found out that I left you all by yourself."

Oh! So that was why.

Your husband had called a few minutes before, saying that he would be home soon. It didn't take long for him to actually arrive, by the time that you gave up on convincing Heeseung to go back home, you heard the entrance door opening.

"I think you can go rest, Heeseung." You said when Jay entered the living room.

When Heeseung left, Jay took good care of you. He always did, but this time, he tried to take away every single bad emotion that you felt.

"How does that feel?" He rubbed your scalp, his slender fingers comforting your head with a sweet massage.

You felt sleepy, the way he went through your soaking wet hair made you want to go to sleep. You thought about it for a while.

The water was bubbly and comforting, your skin was feeling warm and embraced, even though Jay wasn't holding onto you. The sensation of the shampoo and your husband's fingers on your scalp was what made the experience more than perfect.

"It feels nice, I'm feeling sleepy as well." Your voice trailed around, which Jay took as a cue to hurry up, so he could take you to bed.

"I'll be done in a bit, I'll take you to bed when we finish. Ok?"

You hummed in agreement, enjoying how good he was making you feel, how your body was finally feeling relaxed and content.

"Ok."

When he was done, he helped you out of the bathtub, as he took the towel from the hanger, and dried you with it, the soft fabric raking away every droplet of water.

Jay did it all with absolute care, he wrapped in the towel and took you to your room, where he sat you down on one of the comfy chairs and let you get dressed, as he helped you dry your hair.

You weren't in the mood to do your hair care routine, but he still bothered to do so, he was taking so much care of you, that you didn't understand what you had done to deserve this treatment.

Just when you were getting comfortable on your seat, you felt his arms around you, which surprised you, causing you to let out a yelp. You placed your arms around his neck, letting him carry you to bed.

He placed you on the soft mattress, covering your body with a fluffy blanket.

When he laid beside you, everything inside your mind told you to thank him for what he was doing for you.

"Jay?"

He looked at you the moment you called out his name.

"Thank you… For everything" You let those words come out as a whisper. His eyes staring back at yours. "You don't have to thank me, love. I'm just giving you what you deserve." You never had a romantic partner before Jay, you had various crushes throughout your childhood, but Jay was the person you were fixed on ever since you were a teen.

You wondered what would've happened if you never got together, if you never got arranged.

Maybe you would be laying with somebody else beside you, but you knew for sure that something would be missing.

Jay was everything you needed, and now you could not imagine a life without him.

"I would give you that and the whole world, the universe even." His voice just made your heart flutter with happiness, with joy… with love.

He got closer to you, both of you facing each other. You didn't hesitate to start a kiss, you didn't hesitate to trail your lips across his neck.

And when you came to a stop, a few words came out of your lips.

"You don't need to do that, you already are my whole world." You heard a chuckle from his part, and then his lips were on top of yours, and you felt him smile through the kiss.

The pace quickened, sliding his tongue with you enjoying the softness of his lips, but also the roughness of his kiss. Your husband's hands snaked on top of your waist, caressing the skin that was slightly exposed.

With the way that you were going, he turned around making you lay on your back, and he was careful to not crush you with his body.

By the time that things accelerated, your clothes were off, laying somewhere on the wooden floor, but you didn't care. Because, the warmth of your bodies and the passion that was blowing up from the inside was the only thing that you could focus on.

And when the chilly morning bliss came around, you could only focus on his pretty lips, and his hair that was nearly covering his eyes.

His arms were around you, the only thing apart from the blanket that kept you warm. Jay had you on his chest, feeling the way he breathed up and down, his right hand caressing the top of your back, while the other caressed your waist.

You kept your arm on top of his waist, as well. Feeling his warm, naked skin on your fingertips and trailing them up to his back.

This was the first time that you had sex with him since you got back together, you felt that you needed time for you to go back to your intimacy.

But it wasn't like before, this time you could feel him expressing every single emotion on your body, his kisses were now able to express his whole love towards you.

It was all that you wished for.

You inhaled the remnants of his cologne, the scent of fresh spice, the citrus and the wood. It was nice, and it always reminded you of him.

The moment was only about you laying in his arms, receiving each other's warmth, getting rid of the freezing air.

And then, you felt it. Like a small flutter from inside your stomach.

At first you thought you were getting nauseous, but then you felt it again, like a tap coming from your insides. For a moment, it quickened, being several taps, one after another.

Was the baby kicking?

It was uncomfortable at first, but then they felt like tickles inside your tummy.

You pulled away your arm from Jay's waist just so you could feel it with your hand, it rested against your abdomen, but you could barely feel it.

From the inside, it was there, but from the outside, it was not something that outer contact could feel.

Jay felt the skin of your arm getting away from his, so he looked down at you, noticing your hand on your growing tummy.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" His tired voice sounded concerned

You raised your head, looking up at him with glossy eyes. The feeling was making you emotional, your baby was really active all of the sudden and you just didn't know how to feel about it.

"Your daughter's kicking."

Your voice almost waved around, feeling a lump on your throat from the tears of joy that wanted to spill down your cheeks.

Jay frowned, not capturing it until he replayed your words in his head.

Your daughter's kicking.

A gasp nearly came out from his throat, finally realizing what you said.

"Is she really?" He looked at you with surprise, his heart racing with expectation. And you could only nod with overjoy.

"Can I feel? Is she kicking a lot?" His hand went directly to your tummy, laying on top of your hand.

He rubbed it for a while, trying to find his daughter's kicks, but you could only giggle at how excited he was and how much tickles your daughter was provoking in you.

"I tried feeling it with my hand, but I can't feel anything, only from the inside." Jay slightly pouted, his expectations going down a little, but never going to zero.

"And how does it feel? Does it hurt?" He continued asking.

You found him adorable, how he got so curious and excited all of the sudden with a single sentence. How his eyes glimmered with curiosity and anticipation.

"No, it doesn't hurt." You grabbed his hand, which laid on top of your tummy, and raised it to your mouth, leaving a kiss on top of his knuckles.

You kept your hold on his hand, giving rubs to his limb as you smiled with closed lips.

"But it feels like I'm getting tickles inside my tummy, it's just small, but quick taps."

"She's kicking a lot, she has a lot of energy."

You looked at him again, with cute eyes that glowed with joy and with love. Jay's heart fluttered when he saw your eyes glowing, and he smiled, just to leave a kiss on top of your forehead.

He placed his hand on top of your cheek, looking straight into your eyes, his contact making your chest warm and fuzzy on the inside.

"I wonder where she got that from?" He asked with a tone of sarcasm, rubbing the tip of his nose with yours.

"I hope she grows up soon, so I can feel her kicking." Jay spoke up, his words making your smile wider. "Me too."

You both stayed like that for a while, until the sun finally appeared and the sky was clear blue, but the room was dark because of the blackout curtains.

He continued to caress you, and you did the same, his arms swearing to protect your body.

"Jay?"

Your voice caught your attention, slowly opening his eyes once again. "Yes?"

"I think I need a break from working." When you came back from the office yesterday, you knew that you weren't up to looking for a new job, not because you didn't want to have a job, but because you just felt mentally drained.

Ever since you took a few weeks off because of your hospital stay, you felt way more happier than usual. Actually, it was the first time that you had felt truly happy in a long time.

Yeah, the stress was consuming you, your mother's pressure and her constant abuse, having to take care of Juni's whereabouts, and also taking care of the things that your sister was not dealing to take care of. You just knew that you had your happy moments, but happiness was not always present.

"Yeah, I think so too." He agreed, knowing from what he had seen that maybe a workplace wouldn't be the ideal space for you in a while.

"Maybe I could stay away from offices for a while. I've been thinking that I could stay at home after the baby's born, but I don't know what you think…"

Jay embraced you closer, to the point that you could hear his calm heart beating rhythmically close to his chest.

"Whatever you want, baby. As long as you are comfortable and happy, I will agree with any idea that you consider."

You snuggled closer into his chest, making yourself comfortable, letting the sensation of the blanket keep your lower body warm.

"Thank you, Jay."

He caressed your hair with his hands, his pretty fingers playing with your strands.

"You don't need to thank me, love. I'm your husband, and you are the love of my life, I will support you in every single thing you want."

"I told you to be careful."

Your grumble didn't make Jay feel any better, usually it was him taking care of you, not the opposite way.

Even though this was something small.

"It's just a cut, I'm not dying." He then hissed from the pain, scrunching his nose. "You are bleeding too much, it's a really large cut." The crimson liquid slid through his hand, he could feel how warm it was, and how it tickled his skin.

You passed a towel through the cut, the wet fabric covering the blood that came from the palm of your husband's hand.

You press the towel on his hand, seeing it soon be filled by the warm and red liquid that once gushed from his limb. Jay continued to groan from the pain that ached from his injured hand.

The blood then stopped flowing from the cut, taking away the towel and looking for a bandage that would cover his palm.

When you finished wrapping his palm on the soft bandages, you raised his hand towards your lips and left a tender kiss on his hand.

"My kiss will make it better." You slightly rubbed his fingers. He blushed when he saw you plant another kiss on his palm, his heart beating like crazy when your lips tickled his skin.

"Thank you, Belle." Jay used his good hand to cup your cheek and then land a kiss on your upper lip.

You kept your hold on his injured hand, letting the kiss deepen, until you felt out of breath. "I told you to be careful while washing cutlery. You should've let me do it."

"But then, you could've gotten injured instead. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I think you've made that very clear. I'm fine, love." You caressed his cheek, which made him soften. He got closer to the palm of your hand, enjoying how soft and warm it was.

"Jay, maybe we should tell our families about my pregnancy." Your voice came out quieter, it wasn't something that you wanted to do, especially because of your mother's reaction, but you knew that it was something you could not hide anymore. "Are you sure?" He asked for reassurance, not only Jay knew that you wanted time to reveal that you were expecting, but also that his family would be all over you because your daughter would be the first grandchild of the new generation.

You giggled.

"I'm pretty sure that it's something that I can't keep on as a secret. I'm almost 20 weeks, my bump is getting bigger." You smiled to yourself, you still felt a little bit insecure, but some reassurance set in when you noticed that your bump was growing more than before.

"I know but, you know how my family is, they'll be all over you, I don't want you to be overwhelmed."

"Well, I don't want to be given dirty looks by my mother, but I'll receive them anyways. I'm pretty sure that I'll survive." Your hands snaked around his neck, going on your tiptoes to be closer to his height. "I don't know, Belle…" His voice trailed, making you know that he was somehow fearful, insecure even.

"We'll be fine, Jay. In the end, it doesn't matter what they think or what they say. What matters is what we think, because it's our child, our marriage, our family…"

You leaned closer, Jay's face heating up as he felt your breath closer to his face, he could feel your body temperature irradiating close to his body. You left a kiss on his lips, feeling his lips letting you take the lead.

He felt the taste of your chapstick, the taste of vanilla being left on his tongue.

The taste of sweetness, still on his lips after you cut the kiss.

"It's our love, not theirs." For once, you had been overpowered by confidence, your husband never heard you so sure of yourself, but he was happy that you had that mindset.

"Understood, Mr. Park?" A cocky smile settled on his face, he loved it when you called him that.

"Understood, Mrs. Park." He agreed, placing a kiss on your lips, letting yourself settle in the moment. And you got comfortable with the idea of the both of you staying like that for the rest of the day.

Later, you settled in the office room watching your husband from across the room, while he worked on some contracts that he needed to sign for a collaboration.

You stayed in silence as you watched him work, admiring his features as he focused. His sharp jawline, his penetrative eyes that watched through glasses and the way his dominant hand tapped the pen he was using.

As if he could feel you staring, he suddenly spoke up, his voice trailing chills down your spine.

"Chip is going to need a name, I love that nickname, but she needs a real name." He looked at you, noticing your small frame admiring him from the small couch that laid in his office.

You had a few ideas for your daughter's name, but you thought that it was too early for you to talk about names.

"Which names have you thought about?" He fully turned his chair around, his fingers letting the pen lay down on the desk.

"Maybe a name that is not korean, I've always thought that the name Ellie was nice."

Ellie was a pretty name, but there was something about it that didn't resonate with you. "You want me to be honest with you?" He hummed in agreement.

"It feels like something's missing."

"What about Harriet?" You suggested

Jay scoffed, he tried keeping his laugh for himself, but his slight chuckle did not help at all.

"I don't really like Harriet, it sounds way too classy." "It's a really cute name!" You whined playfully. You got up walking up to him just to sit on his lap, your legs on each side.

Jay laid his hands on top of your waist, trailing them to your hips and repeating a pattern between your waist and hips. On the other hand, your hands laid on top of his shoulders, a pout on your lips.

"It's not, sounds like a name from the 1800s." That was when you just gave up, your face finally relaxing, leaving the exaggerated features behind and tracing a cute smile on your face.

Your thoughts suddenly took you back to a few years ago, when you were just a four year old left out by the rest of the kids in a foreign country.

"My name… is Noa."

"It means, from love." Those words of your father were still engraved in your mind like it happened yesterday.

You had always liked the name, especially because of the toddler that did not leave you alone that cold afternoon. You wondered how she was doing, but you also kept going around about how the name was gorgeous.

"I love the name Noa."

Jay looked at you with curiosity.

"Noa?"

When you looked at him, you could tell that his face resembled the same face that your playmates had every time you mentioned the name.

"I've always liked the name, it's-" You paused sensing that Jay wouldn't get it and maybe would shrug it off. "Forget it, maybe it's too early to pick out any names." Jay wanted to tell you to keep on speaking, but he noticed the insecurity that was building up on your shoulders.

"Maybe you are right, will know what to name her when the time comes." He didn't want to take the contrary with you, so he decided to go with what you said. He was curious about the name, but maybe you were just a little bit insecure about it.

You were pretty sure that anxiety was consuming you alive, Jay looked chill, to be honest like he was completely calm, but on the inside, he was burning up.

He was a nervous wreck, but he knew that if you were nervous, he couldn't be either, because he was going to provoke more stress on you.

"Remember what you told me, it doesn't matter what they think and say, it only matters what we think." He whispered in your ear, as you saw the crowd of people in front of you, all of them family members of yours and Jay's.

You could only nod, feeling slight relief when Jay pressed a kiss on top of your forehead. He was trying to calm himself down as well, you didn't know how to tell them.

Your father was looking at you with a pity, not because he pity you, but because he was frustrated at your mother, you tried to avoid him when you arrived at the Parks residence, but his gaze was always upon you.

Your lips got dry and your throat felt static, cold and itchy. "I'll be back, I'm going to get a drink." Jay just gazed at you with worry, he knew that you wanted to do it, but he could see the anxiousness consuming your body.

The steps you took towards the entrance of the house were really heavy, your heart was beating as if you had just ran a ten-minute marathon.

You wanted to crawl out of your skin, but it got worst when your mother walked up to you, her steps were confident and overbearing, and Juni was a trying to calm her down, trying to stop her. It was more than clear that she couldn't do anything to stop her.

The grass felt deep and tangled on your feet, you were frozen in fear, and your senses were telling you to walk away, but your body was paralyzed.

"I taught you to greet others, but you can't even greet your own mother." She pulled the short sleeve of your dress, her eyes always dull and cold. "So disrespectful."

"Mom, please calm down." Your sister kept a hand on your mother's shoulder, but she pushed it away. "I'm calm, Jun. Stop being so dramatic."

"Ever since you left, you've done a lot of horrible decisions in your life. Your hair looks like the one of a maid and you've gotten fat, your abdomen makes you look like a whale. That just proves that your life has fallen apart ever since you left my watch, because I was the only thing keeping it from falling off." Her voice raised up, and the fact that she tried to make you feel bad with her damaging words was somehow working.

You tried to convince yourself that it wasn't true, that she didn't believe it herself, that she wanted you to actually fall apart and give her the right to the word.

Her voice was heard all around the garden, every family member looking your way, some of them with disgust, others with pity, others with rage.

"Maybe I'll finally make you proud, mom, because the reason I "look like a whale" to you, is because I'm pregnant." You felt a weight off your shoulders, you had said it loud enough for the people in the garden to listen to you clearly.

Maybe your voice stuttered, maybe because of the wave of tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks.

"19 weeks to be exact, and if that doesn't make you proud, then I don't know what else it will because I've tried so hard for you to finally be happy with something that I did, but I will always be a disappointment." Your cheeks and nose reddened, and soon, salty tears continuously rolled down your cheeks.

"Or am I wrong?" The sentence came out as a whisper down your lips.

Someday, your heart would finally heal from your mother's actions and harsh words, but for now, you could only pick up the missing pieces by yourself.

"If I'm a disappointment to you, you are a disappointment to me."

How were you able to walk away while evading everybody's questions? You don't know…

But for a while you were gone, you were down a void that it was hard to get out off. You didn't know that you were held in somebody's arms, the hold was familiar, but the warmth was distant.

Jay held you in his arms all the time, his mother had asked the guests to leave the house, and surprisingly, your mother was the last one to leave the residence, and she had the audacity to ask your mother-in-law about how you were doing.

Jay was patient, but he was anxious at the same time, it was like you were in some state of shock. Tears continued to run down your cheeks, just for Jay to wipe them away with his thumb.

You were breathing, your lips were parted, but your gaze was unfocused, you just stared at the wall for thirty minutes. And your husband could only hold you in his arms caressing your skin and leaving pecks in your forehead.

He sometimes called your name, but it was to no avail, you would just blink away the tears and breathe through your mouth.

"How is she holding up?" His mother asked.

Jay only rubbed your shoulders, as he shock his head with worry. It had been a while now since you stopped responding to any calls.

"Y/N?" He tried once again.

"Mhm?"

They both felt like they could finally breathe again. "Thank God!" His mother exclaimed. "I thought we would have to take you to a hospital."

You looked around, your pupils finally moving around taking in your surroundings. You blinked a few times, your eyes focusing on Jay, who just smiled.

"Did I pass out?" Your voice sounded trippy, like you had just woken up from a deep slumber.

"No, dear. I think you entered in a state of shock, but it looks like you are back to your usual self." Jay's mother gave you a glass of water, which you quickly took a few sips of.

Jay helped you put the glass back down on the coffee table. Your hand was shaking, some sort of adrenaline was recurring in your body.

He massaged your scalp, his way to get rid of any prolonging effect in your body.

"I feel sleepy."

Jay took that as a cue to leave home, you were tired, not physically, but mentally.

"You guys could stay the night here, we can prepare Jay's room and you could use some of his old clothes." Your husband wasn't really fond of the idea, he wanted you to rest at the comfort of your own home, but when he noticed your dazed and tired state he knew that it would be better if you guys stayed at his parents' house.

In the end, he gave in and soon his old room was prepared a few minutes later, you grabbed an old t-shirt of his, one of those band t-shirts that he used to wear underneath his school uniform.

When Jay changed his clothes, he noticed that you were not in his room. He checked the hallway just to find you laid down on the study room, your legs covered by a soft linen blanket.

He went inside, knocking on the open door to catch your attention, he knew he succeeded when your gaze went directly to him.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Your husband sat right beside you, his thumb tracing small circles on your calves.

There was a sense of guilt that build up on your chest, you fidget the shirt that you wore, trying to keep your feelings from trailing every inch of your skin.

"I'm sorry for today, I ruined everything." You sat up.

Jay's brows just furrowed, he didn't want you to apologize, you shouldn't be doing that, there was no need to.

"You don't need to apologize, Belle. You did not ruin anything." He got closer to your curled up body. Your defenses were on, there was something that was telling you that it was your fault, that you ruined everything.

Your mother's voice…

It was similar to the one inside your head.

"Sometimes, I think my mom's right. I am a failure."

Jay's heart broke in an instant, you had been so happy recently, just for you to fall back into a hole that it took a while for you to get out of. For him, you were the most amazing woman that he had ever met, you were sweet, hard-working, you were a ray of sunshine that had lighten up his life recently, you had always lightened it up, but your genuine smile and your childish attitude that had came back a few weeks ago, took him back to his childhood.

He softly grabbed you by the arms and got you closer to him, he was firm and stern, his eyes had turned dark in less than a millisecond. You couldn't face him, you were ashamed of yourself.

"Look at me, Y/N." You tried to hide your gaze from him, leaning your head down, keeping your eyes on the fabric of your blanket.

His fingers grabbed your chin with the intention of making you look at him in that instant.

"You are not… and you will never be a failure. Your mother does not know the daughter that she has. You are not perfect and nobody's perfect, but you are the most amazing, hardworking and intelligent woman I've ever met, and I'm not saying it only because I love you, I'm saying it because I've known you since we were kids and I know the way you are from head to toe." He moved his hand from your chin towards your hair, his words were making you spill some tears that you were holding in for a while now.

"You are not a failure, and the standards that your mother has set up for you are fucking stupid!" He had said that with such seriousness that it made you laugh all of the sudden, it was his face that was building up with rage.

The laugh that had rolled down your tongue made him laugh as well, his chuckle was the most enchanting thing that you had ever heard.

"I'm not joking, Y/N. I'm being serious, nobody can fit those standards, because they are unrealistic." He chuckled, leaning towards you to leave a kiss on top of your forehead.

Jay looked at you right in the eyes, his gaze softened the moment your eyes glowed from the smiles that he was provoking on you.

"You will never be a failure, because you are my biggest pride and my greatest joy."

He embraced you into his arms, pretty fingers tracing around your back, and your head laid close to his chest, being able to hear his heartbeat, it beat hard because of you.

You were the reason why his heart fluttered every time he saw you, everytime he woke up beside you and every time you laughed.

"I love you, Jay." You closed your eyes focusing on the rhythm of his heart. It gave a strong beat the moment you said those words. "I love you, too."

You both held each other in your arms the entire night, not being able to pull away from the warm embrace and the cozy blanket.

The sky was full of gray clouds when Jay woke up, the curtains in the studio were close shut, and he noticed the warm body that had her arms hugging his waist, but whose head was on his chest just to listen to the rhythm of his heart and how calm it could get.

He found it adorable, how your eyes were barely visible by the curtain of hair, how he could smell the scent of your shampoo, how your lashes moved every time you saw something magnificent in your dreams.

Jay did not want to wake you up, you looked so peaceful and comfortable, his heart would break if he disturbed your sleep.

He kissed the tip of your nose with delight, and found a way to detach your arms away from his body. He nearly froze when he saw you stir, just for you to continue with your sound sleep.

The nearly two years that Jay had been a CEO he became a hater of waking up early, he wasn't a morning person, but today, he couldn't go back to sleep again, he had recovered the same energies that he had gotten the day before.

Your husband made sure that you were resting peacefully and that the door was closed shut.

He walked through the hallways finally reaching the living room, he was able to listen to the voices when he left the studio, but he didn't know where they came from, when he reached the living room he could finally listen to them clearly.

His mother was talking to your father, Mr. Bae.

Jay wasn't expecting him to be back at his family's home, so he was quite surprised.

"I'll leave you two alone." His mother quickly got up, walking towards Jay, and giving him a pat on the shoulder.

He finally put his eyes on your father, he noticed how he fidgeted his fingers, and how his legs bounced in a way to calm himself down.

"Y/N's asleep, if you are here to talk with her.”

Mr. Bae moved aside, pating the space beside him which was a signal for Jay to sit where he was.

"I know, I wanted to make sure she was ok, but I was hoping that I could have a word with you."

Jay found it strange, he had never had a word with your father. Greeted him? When he was little he did, but a conversation with him was foreign.

"Y/N is doing fine, was out of it for a few minutes, but she is fine now. Back to her smiley self once again." He finally sat beside him, his heart racing up from not knowing what he was going to tell him.

Mr. Bae took a deep breath in, trying to process the words that he wanted to say. He should've defended you better, he should've talked with his wife more and make her get out of her four wall head.

"I remember that Y/N was a really happy kid when she was in this house, but when she was back home, she would turn dull and quiet. She would try to be right beside her mom and ask her if what she was doing was right, it was never enough."

"So I would always drop her off here, with Sunghoon, she had the biggest smile and the cutest laugh, she would light up the room just by taking a step into the hall." "I knew that she would be happier with your family."

Jay didn't know that, he didn't know that your father would take you here because it was your safe place, it was the place where you were happy the most.

"I always noticed the way that you looked at Y/N. It was your protective stare when she played in the garden, the way you kept your hand on her back because you were afraid that she would fall off her bike. And don't get me started on how you hold her hand in every family meeting, the way you look at her with admiration." Your father smirked, noticing how Jay was trying to hide away his growing smile.

"You truly do love her, don't you?"

That question had the most obvious answer to him, a picture of you as engraved in his mind, he was not going to deny it.

"I do love her, you have no idea how much I love her." He said with big confirmation, and with big pride.

"Good."

He was trying to find another topic to talk about, he could feel the ambience becoming a little bit heavy.

"What are you going to name the baby? Noa?" The change of topic took Jay out of his trance. He found it curious, because that was the name that you had mentioned a few days ago.

"We haven't decided yet. Y/N suggested that name, actually." He furrowed his eyebrows.

Your father chuckled, the memories of your childhood drawing themselves in his mind, the memories of you playing with baby dolls, dressing them up, the memories of the times that he left at the kindergarten door.

"It would surprise me if she hadn't suggested it. She's in love with that name, it's special to her."

"Really?" Jay asked in curiosity, turning his view towards his father-in-law.

"Yeah…"

"When she was little, we went to Japan for a business trip. She stayed in the building with the kids of other coworkers. Y/N said that she was left aside by the other kids, only one of them played with her. Her name was Noa."

Jay's mind had been illuminated, the thought of you falling in love with that name just because the person was the only one who played with you, was actually a thing that he found adorable.

If that was the name that you liked, then he would go with it, not only because you liked it, but because it had a special meaning to you.

And that's what Jay liked about it.

The name made you happy, it reminded you of moments that were important to you.

Noa.

Park Noa.

It's beautiful.

"I love that name, as well."

After that, his father-in-law was gone. Making him promise that he would take care of you no matter what. It was more than confirmed that was not going to be a problem, it was part of Jay's nature by that point.

He could've stayed more time in the living room, but he went back with you. He smiled to himself when he saw that you were still asleep. Messy hair and curly eyelashes.

Jay laid back right beside your relaxed body, where he wrapped his arms behind you, snaking them through your waist.

"Where were you?" Your voice sounded groggy. Your husband placed a kiss on the back of your head.

"In the living room. Did you miss me?" You could feel his tiny smile behind you.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

He proceeded to rub your arms, trying to take the sleepiness away from your body.

"Maybe we should keep the names until the day of the birth." He blurted out.

You were dazed all that time, you were not able to comprehend what he was telling you at the moment.

"Hm? Why?" You rubbed the sleep away from your eyes, surprised by what he was telling you. "Don't ask why, but I'm pretty sure that we both know what name we want to give to our daughter."

He almost laughed by the confused look on your face when you turned your head to look at him.

"Go back to sleep, Belle. I'm pretty sure that you're still tired."

"Well? How do I look?" You peeked your head, the rest of your body covered by the wall. You felt a small knot on your throat for how your husband was going to react.

You finally revealed the rest of your body. And the small glimmer in Jay's eyes said it all.

You wore a mermaid style, mocha-colored dress that hugged your figure, it was a spaghetti strap that reached below your ankles, it hugged your torso, hips and thighs before it was loose on your knees and the rest of your bottom.

It was really pretty, Jay thought the same. It made you look gorgeous and even resalted the pregnancy glow that you had gained on your second trimester.

"You want me to be honest with you?" He got closer to you, his hand making his way to your cheek, caressing the softness of your skin. His eyes were full of temptation, his other hand placing itself on top of your hip.

It was incredible how fast your eyes looked towards his lips. But they soon went straight towards his dark brown orbs.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." His whisper was able to flare up your skin, his words sounding like a praise that you needed for a long time.

His lips kissed the flesh of yours, as he felt the sensation of your lip gloss, leaving it smudged after he finished.

Jay cleared the stain of gloss on top of your lip by passing his thumb through your face, making sure that it was clean.

You placed both of your arms around his neck, letting out a sigh that the slight height of your heels gave you more chance to not get on your tiptoes.

"And you are the most handsome man I have ever seen."

You loved the way that he wore his outfit. The black dress shirt that had been unbuttoned, the black blazer and pants that were more attractive with the pearl choker around his neck.

His CEO image looked classy, but also dangerous.

The scent of spice and citrus that he carried everywhere he went.

There was a celebration in honor of the anniversary of Park Enterprises. Jay had told you that if you didn't want to go that it was fine, but you still accepted going with him as his wife.

There were tables full of white wine glasses, waiters serving meat-based plates and tiramisu desserts.

Your bump was secured by the fabric of your dress, but the hand that surrounded your waist and its fingers laid on your belly, made you feel a warmth and care that you couldn't explain.

"Mr. Park, it's good to see you. You've been absent for a few weeks." A man of short contexture, wearing a fully black tux and a white shirt.

He looked funny, you had to admit.

With his mustache that tickled his lips, and the hand that laid on his hip.

"Mr. Choi, it's a pleasure to meet you again."

Mr. Choi was the owner of a technological security company, a very recognized one in South Korea.

A collaboration was the thing that Park Enterprises was looking for. They saw all the benefits that could come from it if they joined forces with his company.

And obviously, Jay had been talking about it for a long time. It was one of his goals.

"Needed some break from work, relax a bit. We both needed it." He looked down at you, a small smile on his lips as he looked at you with tender love. His hands wrapped around you while he caressed your abdomen.

"Taking a break it's good from time to time, I'm glad that you enjoyed your small vacation."

'Small Vacation' was not the right use of words. A trip to Italy was NOT a small vacation.

"I'm guessing this is your wife. It's a pleasure to meet you." He gave you a smile as he extended his hand. "A pleasure to meet you, too. Jay has told me so much about you."

Jongseong turned to look at you, he was surprised and he wasn't expecting you to remember everything about the businessman that was right in front of you.

"Oh really?" Mr. Choi seemed to sound more interested.

"Yes, he has taken some interest in your business, has done some research on your recent jobs and has found your company as something ideal for the Southern Branch." You fidget your fingers, anxious for the answer that you might receive. Your plan was to provoke interest in Mr. Choi, so Jay and him could come to some sort of conversation and bring up an agreement.

"Is this true, Mr. Park."

Jay looked at you, making eye contact for a moment. His eyes screamed 'Thank You', and he felt more than grateful for your slight conversation.

"This only proves that my wife is a great listener, and I could not be more grateful about that." His hand tickled your arm, moving it back and forth, with his eyes looking at you, as you looked up at him with your hand on his chest. "I saw your recent projects and have taken some sort of curiosity on them. I would love to hear more about them, but I think that would be better if we talked face to face."

You were surprised by how fast they started talking about Mr. Choi's business. Jay looked more than entertained, but his hand was still paying full attention to your skin.

A few minutes passed before your attention was drawn to the rest of the people in the room. You noticed a few people looking at you, it didn't surprise you though.

The Southern Branch employees knew that their CEO had a wife by arrangement, some of them recognized you, others were surprised that the rumors were true. But they were mostly surprised because of your state, they were surprised because you were expecting.

Some of them gossiped as they looked your way, others looked at you in awe because of your adorable beauty.

"Excuse me, I'll go look for something to eat." You spoke up, Jay giving you a quick glance, before giving your arm a quick rub and letting it go.

He looked your way a few seconds after you walked away, just to make sure that you were completely fine.

The more you walked towards a buffet table, the more chattering you felt ringing around your body. You could feel the whispers and the gossip that was spreading around as you made your way to feed your stomach.

You grabbed a toast of bruschetta, full of tomatoes and mozzarella cheese. The moment that you started to enjoy your food was the moment that you heard female voices throbbing under your skin.

“I thought they were married for convenience.”

Curiosity got full power over you, the fabric of your dress tickling your ankles the moment that you turned around. There were two young woman, they looked slightly older than you, maybe on their mid-twenties. “It kinda makes sense though, rich families tend to have that habit or tradition, it shouldn’t surprise anyone at all.”

You smirked to yourself, they were not wrong at all, the problem was that your marriage with Jay was based out of love than anything else… and maybe a spice of lust.

A feeling of pettiness consumed you, after finishing your meal you noticed that your husband had already finished his conversation with Mr. Choi, and he was making his way towards you.

You looked at the ladies with a side-eye, walking towards Jay with a cutesy smile and when you reached him, you gave him a tight hug with your arms around his waist, but your cheeks heatened when he caressed your head with his hand, giving it a loving kiss on the top.

“I guess we are both feeling really loving tonight.” You raised your head to look at him, and he took advantage of that to give you a kiss on the tip of your nose.

“Maybe we can get more loving when we get home.” His whisper almost made your legs quiver. The power that he had on you with just using his words was unimaginable. “You look so pretty when I make you nervous, especially with the huge tint on your cheeks.” Jay’s comment just made you cover your face with his chest, and your action just made him chuckle.

“So pretty.”

“My pretty Belle.”

“I just got the other pair of shoes that you ordered.”

Pair? More like pairs!

The silence at the other side of the room was more than loud for your liking. You knew Jay was going to spoil your daughter like his life depended on it, but you had received more than dozens of new shoes and clothing that you thought was not necessary.

“Jay?”

“It’s just that I saw them only and I thought that they were adorable. I basically envisioned her with them.” A smile creeped through your lips, you completely understood that Jay was more than excited for the arrival of your daughter in a few weeks, but it was becoming too much.

“I don’t think our daughter’s room its going to tolerate another pair of shoes inside… You are adorable, love.”

You walk towards him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe you should go to work already, before my madness truly settles in.”

He gave you a peck on the lips before walking towards the door. Jay was not a fan of leaving you home alone, currently he was making his work at home just so he could stay with you, but today was different, he had an important meeting to attend, plus meeting up with a potential client and sponsor for a developing project.

“I’ll see you later, and please answer my calls.” He grabbed cupped your cheeks, finally placing a kiss on your top lip. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

It wasn’t difficult to keep yourself entertained. You watched a few chapters of Bridgerton, before cooking something for lunch. At some point, you noticed that your daughter was kicking a lot more than usual, she was uneasy and it was making you uncomfortable.

You rubbed your lower abdomen, trespassing the fabric of your loungewear shorts, usually she would calm down with just a few rubs, but this time it was different, she would not stop kicking.

“What’s wrong, baby? Please calm down a little, Chip.” You continued rubbing the spot, until you felt a sudden pain on your lower back, creeping up towards your belly making you let out a groan.

The pain lasted a few second before it passed quickly.

You wanted to convince yourself that those were Braxton Hicks, but something inside you was screaming that you were having real contractions, so you decided to count how long it would take for the next one to come around.

And it didn’t surprise you when the same pain arrived fifteen minutes later.

You felt the anxious urge to bite your nails, because your mind was going to evry single outcome that could happen.

“Shit!” You gritted your teeth together when the pain came back, the problem was that it was five times worse than the first time.

Why the fuck those kind of things happen when Jay was gone?!

It was more than obvious that he was going to nag you for the rest of your existence, but that didn’t matter at the moment… You needed to call him.

But you were not capable of calling his phone, you didn’t want to interrupt his meeting, so you called his secretary… His new secretary, Heeseung.

“Hello?”

Heeseung could’ve swear that he had never ran so fast in his life. And while the rest of his co-workers looked at him as if he was a maniac, but he was way to nervous to even notice.

And Jay was in his own world, he tried to pay attention to the presentation from one of his employees, talking about how their new technological addition should also have a few updates based not only on its software, but also have a few updates that could be friendly for a different public.

He was interested, he really was, but he could not stop thinking about you, and how maybe he shouldn’t have left home, and his thoughts were proved right when Heeseung entered the meeting room, his face almost frantic and sweaty.

That was the moment that Jay knew that something had happened.

If Heeseung’s co-workers thought that he was maciac, then now they were thinking that their boss was a psychopath.

“Y/N said that she called Juni and she would meet you at the hospital.”

At the moment, Jay was feeling numb, his brain going into autopilot, but also going to different directions. He does not even know how drove to the hospital by himself, even though Heeseung offered to take him to the clinic.

He arrived to the hospital, his blazer on his hand, messy shirt and lose tie that went near his chest. The nurses looked at him with worry, but felt some kind of relief when he got close to the receptionist.

“I’m looking for my wife, Park Y/N. She’s 37 weeks pregnant, came in because she was having contractions.” The receptionist scripted your name in the computer, but Jay felt so anxious that for him, the woman was being extremely slow, as if she didn’t understand that this was a total emergency for him.

“She’s in the maternity ward, Room 026.”

That was his cue to hurry towards your room, the thought of you going through the pain without him there to help you or give you support was consuming him alive. It was eating him from the inside. The guilt.

His body nearly crumbled when he reached your room, just thinking about what state you were in, or how nervous you most felt. But those feelings were soon thrown away when he saw you from the door.

You were smiling, talking and even though you had a lot of equipment monitoring your vitals and oxygen, you still looked like your happy, usual self.

Juni was there with you and giving you the support that you needed at the moment, and as she was finding a way to make you laugh once more, your laughing fit was interrupted by the new presence in the room.

“Jay.”

That was his call to get out of his trance and approach you, his reaction being to get you into his embrace, trying to get in touch with your warmth and the smell of your vanilla scent, he then placed his hands on your cheeks, inspecting you with a quick glance.

“How are you doing? Are you ok? Why do you have these on?” He pointed out on your nasal cannula. You should’ve seen it coming. “I’m ok, just low oxygen levels. I’ll be fine.” Your hand made its way to caress his cheek, trying to keep him calm.

The fact that Jay gave in to the soft sensation of your hand, his eyes going tender at the sight of you. Big orbs admiring the gorgeous beauty that he had in front of.

“My Pretty.”

"Can I have some?"

"Well… Let me think about it." For Jay, the little hum that you made while you pretended to take a moment, it was the cutest thing that he had never seen. "Ok, you can have it."

He looked at you with a happy expression, at that moment he just knew that he felt really strong feelings for you, ever since he was a little boy, he just felt the need to protect you at all cost, to protect that little girl that would watch ‘The Beauty & The Beast’ every single time she would visit, that little girl that would dress up as an elegant disney princess.

The girl who would plant flowers with his mom, the girl who had the ability to make his brother smile at all time, the girl who was able to make him blush and soften.

"Also, do you even have an idea of who you want to marry? What exactly do you look for in a girl?" He never thought that a simple pair of questions could make his heart quiver and almost stop in less than a second, because the answer that he come to his mind was ‘you’.

So, he said every single thing that he could use to describe you."I'm looking for a girl that is sweet, a girl that looks like an exact representation of the moon, but that her personality is just like the very rays of the sun falling into the ocean waves."

He let that come out of his chest, out of his soul, as if he had been waiting his entire life to say it.His last words made you blink in shock, you hadn't noticed how hard you were staring at him. But it seemed that at some point you might have been under the spell that he had been just a few seconds before.

"Sorry, it's just that your description sounded so poetic, I didn't know you could be so romantic." "There are some things that you don't know about me." He smiled.

You cleared your throat before proceeding. "Where have you seen a girl like that, anyway?" You saw the boy get closer to you, moving his seat right beside you. Then, he moved his hand close to your locks, moving them away from your face. "It might surprise you, but I'm staring at her right now."

And the way that you went completely speechless, was the way that he knew that he had made you fall more for him than ever before.And the moment that he fell more for you, was when you begged him to kiss you for the first time, because he finally had the chance to feel the lips of the girl that he was in love with.

Seeing you the day of your wedding, Jay realized how bad he wanted things to work out, how bad he wanted you to be his wife. But he was afraid, he was afraid to grow attached to you, because he was afraid that after this you would both end up heartbroken.

But how can you love someone and also be afraid of loving them?

He swore that looking at you at that moment, he knew that he wanted you to be his wife for the rest of his life… he wanted to love you for the rest of his life.

"Do you love me, Mrs. Bae?" His eyes were hopeful, you remembered how he looked that night near the swimming pool, looking at you lovingly as you sat on one of the beds.

"I do, Mr. Park."

"I do love you, Jay."

That was the moment, where he felt that the pieces where coming up together… because he knew that you loved him, and he loved you as well.

"Good… because I love you, Mrs. Bae."

All those memories came to his mind, every single one of those moments were crucial to the moment that was happening in front of his eyes… the moment that his daughter came into this world.

Because when he heard the first cry, that was when he knew that everything that you both had been through was worth it all.

“It’s a healthy baby girl.”

When the doctor said those words, it felt like the world nearly stopped.

Jay looked at you, and he was more than speechless. You were panting not only from the big work that you’d just done but also because of how the tears where building up in your eyes, how you felt the eager to hold her in your arms.

The nurse gave you the small newborn, and that was when the tears came rolling down your eyes.

She was more than perfect.

A sob came out of your throat, it came out from pain, from exhaustion… but also from happiness.

You and Jay had just created a human being that for you, was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

“Love, look at her, she’s beautiful.” You looked up at him, with glossy eyes and rosy cheeks. To your surprise, Jay was holding his tears, he was trying really hard to do so.

He lowered to your level, his hands hesitant to touch the little girl’s skin. He feared to hurt her, to ruin her soft and delicate skin. You noticed at the moment, grabbing his hand making his touch her tiny arm.

And the moment that the tears finally fell down his cheeks was when his daughter looked at him.

Pretty doe eyes, starring at him as if he was a piece of art. She coo’ed at him with curiosity, and Jay couldn’t help but admire her.

She had a glimmer in her orbs that he wanted to stare at all times.

“She’s beautiful, Y/N. She’s all ours.”

You caressed his cheek, noticing the details that he had in common with the child in his arms. The small nose that looked just like his, the tan of his skin that she had obviously inherited, the pretty shape of her eyebrows, and the mark that Jay had in the middle of his lower lip, that mark that you were a huge fan of.

For him, his daughter had the huge doe eyes that you always stared at him with, his daughter had the curly eyelashes that he always loved, she had those heart shaped lips of yours that he could stared at at any time, and she had those chubby cheeks that he loved to touch.

Jay, then rubbed her soft cheek with his thumb, liking the sensation of her skin.

She was his, and she was yours.

And she would forever be perfect in your eyes.

“I love her, Y/N. She’s our Noa.”

You looked at him with surprise, not expecting that name to come out of his mouth.

“You want to call her Noa?” He looked at you with teary, glossy eyes, his cheeks getting some sort of color. “Yeah, that’s her name from now on.”

More tears came out of your eyes. That memory from your childhood coming to your mind more than vividly.

“I love it.”

You gave him a kiss on the lips, taking in the moment with happiness.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

EPILOGUE: Guess I won't ever mind crisping up on your backburner

Two Years Later…

“Thank you so much, Mr. Choi.”

Jay tapped his fingers on the desk after he cut the call, he couldn’t help but think about getting home already. Every single day that he would go to work, he would miss you and his daughter.

A knock got him out of his trance, a voice coming from behind the door.

“Come in!” He shouted.

Heeseung slightly opened the door, peeking his head through the door. “Mr. Park, there’s a special food delivery for you.” He smirked while looking down at his feet, or what Jay believed were his feet.

He fully opened the door, to reveal that tiny little girl that he was infatuated with.

“Daddy!”

Jay’s eyes brightened to the sight of his adorable daughter, and he stood up from his seat just to kneel down beside his desk to hold her in his arms as if he hadn’t seen her in a hundred years.

Jay’s eyes brightened to the sight of his adorable daughter, and he stood up from his seat, just to kneel down beside his desk to hold her in his arms, as if he hadn’t seen her in a hundred years.

The girl crashed on his arms, her small limbs around his neck trying to hold him tight. “My beautiful Chip.” He brushed his nose against her chubby cheek.

Noa raised her head, cupping Jay’s face with her soft hands. Her father could only look at her chubby cheeks, her huge doe eyes and her rosy lips. She reminded him so much about you.

“I missed you, daddy.” Her voice almost made him melt into place, and her warm touch made him get rid of the stress that was building up from the start of his day.

“I missed you too, Chip.”

He was so into the embrace from his daughter that he got surprised when he felt a touch on his shoulder. “Belle.”

Jay got up from his position carrying Noa on his hip. “I hope I’m not interrupting something.”

With his free arm he pulled you by the waist, feeling the fabric of your dress between his fingers. He hadn’t noticed the dress that his daughter was wearing, she had a pink tule dress that covered her knees, the fabric making her look like a princess.

And you…

Were his Queen.

The love of his life.

“We were waiting for you, mommy.”

Jay looked down at her, then he looked at you, getting the courage to place a kiss on your forehead.

“Yeah, we were waiting for you.”

759 notes · View notes

autumn-foxfire · 4 months

Text

It's time, it's time, it's time!!! KAITO IS HERE!

I wonder how Sonoko would feel if she knew she had seen KID's face everyday because of Shinichi XD

KAITOOOOOO.

Sonoko: it might be a lookalike!

Ran: No it was him! (Surprise, it isn't.)

Also, Ran, we as an audience have a reason to shit on Shinichi for not trusting you, you however should trust him as you have no idea. Yet every chance you think you see if, you think he's ditched you for someone else. Are you sure you like him? As it sounds like at this point you are actively looking for him to have moved on from you.

"Who cares about some thief?" FAMOUS LAST WORDS SHINICHI.

Kaito already knows the way into Shinichi's heart without realising: puzzles.

Shinichi didn't even need to see Kaito before he was interested in him, meeting him just intensified the interest.

The modern Lupin to the modern Holmes <3

And he arrived silently in the night as Shinichi looks on in amazement. It was love at first sight.

Seriously Shinichi was waxing poetry about him immediately. Kaito should definitely tease him about it later.

Shinichi, your gay is showing. I don't blame you though, it is Kaito.

Shinichi, it is very gay of you to want to chase a man. And be very certain that they wouldn't find any evidence after your "first" encounter.

Okay when we say all parents in DCMK are bad we mean it. Yes, I know it was a performance but SONOKO DIDN'T KNOW THAT. She just thought her mom had murdered a man in front of her.

Oh, Shinichi's Kaito senses are tingling.

Shinichi is so excited he forgot the child act. The effect Kaito has on him.

Kaito really likes showing up over magicians huh, though we all know why he did it with Amuro and that's to do with our favourite little detective <3

Awww the first time Shinichi and Kaito held hands.

Shinichi: I won't tell the police. I'll just speak to him by myself. This doesn't mean anything.

Kaito realising the first time how dangerous Shinichi can be, especially with a soccer ball XD

And thus the KID killer is born. If Conan is the KID killer, is Shinichi the KID fucker?

Kaito will have to get Shinichi back for making him swim with the fishes XD

#dcmk #foxy's dcmk commentary #ahhhh dont you love the blooming romance of a detective and a thief

14 notes · View notes

snwusberry · 2 years

Text

cry for love

pairing: yeonjun x reader x wooyoung

genre: angst, fluff (if you squint real hard)

warning(s): language, food/eating, alcohol consumption, intoxication, a lot of crying, toxicity (yeonjun is a lil toxic ngl), trust issues, cheating mentioned but no one actually did, a lot of tears. love square my dudes. pov changes (sorry). there are many errors. i will try and fix them as soon as possible.

wc: 7k

notes: this is by far my longest fanfic (i had to bust out my laptop for this one) and i'm not gonna lie, for someone with a short attention span, this was quite difficult to write but i wanted to step out of my comfort zone so here it is. i hope you all enjoy this one

playlist:

cry for love - baekhyun

movies - conan gray

the cut that always bleeds - conan gray

like i need you - keshi

i don't - sabrina claudio

bleeding love - leona lewis

reader pov

"this is the third time in a row now yeonjun. how many times is she gonna rock up at your apartment drunk?" i ask him, looking at the sleeping girl on the sofa. she’s a little too at peace for someone whos ruining my night right now.

"she comes here because she's most familiar with me. who else is supposed to help her?" yeonjun defends and i roll my eyes, not having any of it. this not the first time this is happening.

"her other friends. it's funny how she's got other friends, isn't it?" i sarcastically remark but he just returns a stern look.

"quiet down, you're gonna wake her up." i raise my eyebrows at the sheer audacity.

"have her sleep somewhere else then. i don’t know, call someone to pick her up and look after her. you're not doing none of that tonight." i tell him.

it's tiring how much this happens. she always does this. she comes up with something whenever she knows yeonjun and i will be together that day, like right now. she appeared drunk on yeonjun's doorstep on the day we decided to spend time together.

"please be serious right now."

"i am being serious. she's not spending the night here." i fight back, trying to stand my ground but i'm afraid i'm fighting a losing battle.

"this is my apartment y/n, not yours. i think that i should be the one to make that decision, no? stop bitching about it." he responds coldly with an unreadable expression on his face. there's a look in his eyes i've never seen before.

"okay then i'll leave."

his eyes soften upon hearing my tone of voice indicating that i am, in fact, upset.

"i didn't mean that." he tries to hold my hand to stop me from leaving but i pull away, getting my things to leave.

"then what the fuck did you mean?" i ask him turning to face him but he just stares, not saying anything. “you said what you said. call me when you drop this act of yours."

once the cool air outside the giant apartment building hits me, i let out a sigh, frustrated by all this. he really said that to me with a straight face and thinks he can just take it back all willy nilly? unbelievable.

i send a text to the person who's been helping me through this somewhat confusing moment in my relationship.

me:

are you busy?

i get a text back fairly quickly, i don't even need to read it to know he's not busy and judging by his patterns, he wouldn't have responded so quickly had he been occupied.

woo:

i make my way down the familiar road to one of my best friends' apartments. i've been here many times before but now i feel bad for even thinking about going there because i feel like as of late, i've just been there to complain.

"oh y/n. come in." he ushers me inside his warm apartment.

i make my way in and he walks me to the kitchen where i sit by the small island.

"let me guess, the name starts with m?" he asks, preparing some tea for both of us. i nod but the tears start to fall. i fucking hate when my anger turns to tears because it makes me feel weak. "that's not all, is it?" i shake my head and he walks around the island to pull me into a hug.

---

i sit on the sofa with a cup of tea in my hands. wooyoung sits next to me listening to everything i'm saying while i rant about what happened with yeonjun.

"that's messed up like how many times is she gonna show up drunk at his door?" wooyoung asks, outraged at the audacity of this girl.

"that's literally what i said to him. i told him she couldn't have gone to anyone else and you know what he said? he said 'she's most familiar with me. who else with her?' can you believe this guy?" i rhetorically ask, taking a sip from the cup. "and then i said to him that she's not spending the night and i kid you not, something in him just switched. he was like 'that's not your decision to make' but like, the way he said it... it was so unlike him. it's like i was talking to a whole different man."

"if this continues its gonna be a problem." wooyoung warns me cautiously.

"i know. i don't like where this is going."

---

i wake up, sitting up to look around, realizing i crashed at wooyoung's place. everything from last night coming back to me. i remember how yeonjun acted, that i cried and now i'm here.

"ahhh." i groan throwing myself back on the bed. how long is this going to go on for?

"rise and shine." wooyoung calls out a little too chipper. he enters the room and i glare at him. "what's with that face? come on i made you breakfast."

"you didn't have to."

"you say that all the time and yet here we are. come on grumpy." he says, pulling me out of bed.

"i'm not grumpy." i mumble with a pout.

"say again."

"nothing."

"thought so."

he makes me sit down at the kitchen table where the table is set with my favourite breakfast. i thank him, sitting down.

"don't be shy."

i smile at him, immediately digging in.

"slow down. the food isn’t running away." he warns and i apologize briefly.

my phone starts ringing and i check to see who it is but my smile falters and wooyoung looks at me worried.

"who is it?"

"yeonjun."

his face falls at my answer, as if a happy moment was ruined.

"answer."

i nod, answering his call but i take a moment before saying anything.

"babe?"

"hello."

"baby, please come over, or rather, i'm coming over-" his voice sounds hasty, his breathing choppy, as if he ran a marathon.

i look at wooyoung for a second with hesitance and he's just minding his own business but the look on his face shows he's upset.

"don't bother." i tell him bluntly. i'm still not over last night so let me be petty today.

"why? is everything alright?"

"i'm not home." wooyoung looks up and shakes his head making me sigh. "look, i'll be right there. just make sure your friend is not there once i arrive."

"come on y/n not this again."

"i'm serious yeonjun." i hang up before throwing my phone on the table. letting out a sigh in frustration because i don't want to go to him right now. he could at least let me enjoy my morning.

"go on." is all wooyoung says before standing up and clearing up the dishes to wash them. his mood has clearly drastically different now.

"wooyoung-"

"go talk to him. you can't leave these things unresolved like this. go talk to him and sort this mess out."

"but wooyoung."

"no, not another word. besides you can always come back once you're done." he suggests so i just agree.

"okay."

i walk out, calling an uber to yeonjun's apartment building, deciding not to walk there.

i make my way to the elevator where i see mara walking out. i try to avoid her, not wanting to even talk to her because it will just ruin my mood completely.

"oh? look who it is."

dammit.

i put on my fakest smile, turning to face her. "hi mara."

"going to yeonjun's?" she asks and i fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"no i'm here to see soobin. haven't seen him in a while." i respond sarcastically.

"soobin is in the states."

wow i had no idea.

"great then who else could i possibly be here for?" i ask her in the most real yet fake questioning tone.

"why don't you just give up already? no matter how hard you try, yeonjun will always pick me over you anyway." she smugly remarks and i roll my eyes.

"is that why you he asked you to leave for me to come see him at my request, might i add. i wouldn’t be proud to be a choice sweetie." the elevator door opens once again and i get in, waving at her as the doors close.

something inside me is restless though because deep down i have a feeling that she might be right. he's chosen her over me multiple times so i'm afraid she's right.

once i reach his floor, i walk to his door and knock, hearing shuffling before the door opens.

"you didn't have to knock you know. i'd know it's you." he says blankly and i roll my eyes.

"yeah well then i guess we both acting different."

"babe- wait, those are last nights clothes." he looks at me suspiciously and i raise my eyebrows.

"i'm aware."

"then where were you so early in the morning? you said you didn't go home last night?" he questions.

"why do you care?"

"because you're my girlfriend, of course i care, y/n be serious please." i scoff at his words. at this point, i feel like he thinks i’m a joke because he always says that to me.

"i am being serious. you haven't been treating me like i'm your girlfriend so i don't see what's wrong with my question."

"what are you even saying? and where did you go last night then?"

"oh now you're questioning me? you called me over to talk so tell me what you needed to so i can go."

his eyebrows furrow as he looks at me confused.

"i wanted to spend time with you since our date last night was ruined." he says softly.

"and who ruined it?"

"don't start. just please tell me where you wer-"

"wooyoung's place."

his face drops to an expressionless one and he just looks at me.

"why the long face now all of a sudden? what's wrong?"

"you get mad at me for having mara over but it’s okay for you to spend the night at wooyoung's place? how is that fair? besides, i only went there because of you."

"because of me?" he questions and i nod. "why? tell me."

"because he's the one who was able to give me comfort after the way you spoke to me. you chose to let mara crash our date for the nth time." he remains silent. "what now? much like you were there for mara, wooyoung did the same for me."

"was it to spite me?” he asks me and i scoff.

“not everything is about you jun.”

“i don't want you going near him anymore. if you have a problem you come to me." i scoff, rolling my eyes at what he just said what does he think this is?

he has to be joking. he is joking right?

"and if you are the problem?"

he looks at me confused with his head tilted trying to figure out what i meant.

"what do you even mean?"

"i mean that you, choi yeonjun, are the problem in this scenario." i tell him and try to walk out but he grabs my wrist.

"let go."

"not until we resolve this."

i sigh to myself knowing he's right. we need to actually talk about this or it will just get out of control.

"come sit down." he gently speaks walking with me to the living room.

"y/n please tell me what's wrong." he asks once we've sat down. we're facing each other while he holds both of my hands in his, rubbing the back of them with his thumbs.

"mara and how you are around her."

he let's one of my hands go to run his hand through his hair, an irritated expression making its way on his face.

"you always act different when she's around."

"why are you always bringing her into this?"

"she's getting in the middle of us." i tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"baby she's my best friend, that's all."

"and she likes you."

"don't talk shit."

he thinks i'm talking nonsense? it's clear as day that she has feelings for him and it frustrating that he can't see it but him talking to me like this? absolutely not.

"i'm telling the truth. tell me, how come she always has an emergency whenever we're together?"

"i don't know. look it's not right to blame someone else for this. do you not trust me?"

"of course i do! if i didn't trust you, i wouldn't have left the two of you alone together and i would’ve questioned you the way you just did when i walked in. i just want you to see what's really going on here."

"y/n." he reaches for my hand again to hold it. "whether she likes me or not, that shouldn't matter anyway. i love you and only you and that won't change."

"then why do you always choose to be with her instead?" i ask him and he tenses.

"what?"

"you always choose her. whenever it comes down to it, it's always gonna be her. she even said it herself in the lobby and i told her off but i knew deep down that she’s actually telling the truth."

"y/n."

"like last night, for example. she showed up and you stopped our plans to go help her even though there are many other people she could've ran to, then when i walked out, you did nothing."

"this is ridiculous."

"you are being ridiculous, yeonjun. you don't wanna see what's right in front of you."

"are you jealous of her or something? babe i tell you time and time again that she's just a friend!" he raised his voice at me and i pull my hands away from him.

"oh i'm jealous... that's what it is, right? i'm jealous because my boyfriend is making time for someone else. i’m jealous because my boyfriend let's me leave to spend the night with another girl. is that what you're saying?" i question, standing up, ready to leave.

"stop talking, you're making it seem like something it's not. besides you have no right getting upset since you spend all your time with wooyoung anyway."

"BECAUSE HE AT LEAST HAS TIME FOR ME! it's selfish, yes but he has time for me when you are too busy giving all of yours to someone else!"

"are you that hungry for attention that you're too busy looking for it elsewhere?"

"fuck you yeonjun." with that i walk out and go straight back to wooyoung's apartment.

---

there is a movie playing but it's just background noise at this point because my thoughts are running wild.

i found myself staying at wooyoung's apartment for the past 3 days since my argument with yeonjun.

he let me stay here and he's been nothing but accommodating and i feel like i'm taking advantage of his kindness which is the last thing i want to do.

"wooyoung."

"hmm?"

"thank you." is all i say and he sits up from his seat.

"for what?" he asks, not knowing where all of this is coming from.

"thank you." i repeat, feeling a burning sensation in my eyes.

"y/n." i look down and he moves to the loveseat i'm sitting on. he sees the tears forming on my eyes and immediately hugs me. "what did he say to you?"

i can't answer, the words are stuck in my throat and i couldn't answer him.

"it's okay. it'll be okay."

"i don't think it will." he stops patting my back for a second before continuing.

"don't be like this y/n. he’ll open his eyes eventually."

"i'm afraid it will be too late by then." i say sadly, more to myself than anything but i said it too loud because wooyoung heard.

he pulls away to take a brief look at me.

"what do you mean by that?"

"i'm reaching my limit here."

"don't make any hasty decisions."

"i'm not wooyoung. i love him, i really do, but if loving him is only going to get me feeling like this then it's really not worth it."

"y/n-"

"it's tiring." i tell him letting more tears fall at the thought of possibly ending my relationship with yeonjun.

"whatever you choose to do, i'll be right by your side." he softly tells me with eyes filled with sorrow as he watches me cry. "and if he doesn't appreciate you someone else definitely will. you're a sweet girl who deserves only the best and it kills me to see that that's not what you're getting."

he makes me look in his eyes and mouths something that i couldn't quite catch what he said. he wipes away my tears with this tumbs, all while keeping eye contact with me.

"someone will treat you better y/n." he whispers, letting out a sigh before looking away. "come on, let's do something that'll get your mind off him." he suggests. i don't know what he means by that.

"sure."

"alright, follow me." he takes my hand and takes me to his room, further confusing me.

"wooyoung?"

"shhh." he rummages through his closet and get a long sleeve shirt, handing it to me. "wear this."

"what's this for?" i ask, looking at him.

"just wear it. there's a method behind my madness."

i just shrug and put it on over my tank top and we walk out.

---

"a rage room?"

"why not?" he asks, shrugging his shoulders before we both walk in and book a session.

the lady explains the rules to us and before i know it, i'm breaking everything around me with out a care in the world. i'm imagining mara’s face before hitting something which really helps get the aggression out.

"FUCK! YOU! CHOI! YEONJUN!" i scream while breaking the things around me. "AND FUCK THAT MARA BITCH TOO!"

wooyoung just looks at me with a wide smile which is still visible through the protective gear.

once our session is over he takes us both to go eat some street food and i feel calm after all that.

"you know, i needed that." i breath out in content.

"yeah?"

"yeah. is it concerning to feel better after imagining someone's face over an object before hitting it to oblivion?" he laughs making me smile a bit, not thinking what i said was gonna be funny but go figure.

"it's not hard to imagine someone's face over something you're gonna throw at a wall."

"who's face were you imagining?" i ask him, turning to face him on the bench.

"the one who made you cry." i stop eating briefly at what he said.

"not too much bow, he's still your best friend."

"that doesn't excuse his shitty behavior." he sing-songs before taking a bite from his food.

"still." i try to grap a fry from his box while he’s not looking but he staws my hand away before i can even get far.

"hey."

"you have your own."

"had my own." i frown showing him the empty box.

"ask next time. here." he says giving me some and i smile, thanking him.

"the weather is so nice today."

"not with that fucking vanilla talk."

"last time i try to create conversation." we laugh together, looking at the sun setting.

i feel a lot better now after going to the rage room and taking out all of my frustration.

"ready to go home?" he asks once we're done.

"can we go to your place?"

"and what will your boyfriend think of that?" he asks teasingly.

"he won't like it but i spent the last two nights at yours so what's another night?"

"i don't want him to freak out on us for that. come i'll take you home."

"please wooyoung. i don't wanna be alone tonight."

"then call yeonjun. i think you both need to sit and talk with a clear mind.”

"we tried that already, remember?"

"try again." he urges and i sigh, taking my phone and dialing his number. it rings but he doesn't pick up.

"voicemail, see he’s still mad. let's go."

“y/n” he warns and i sigh, giving in, deciding not to make this an even bigger deal.

once i get home and wooyoung has left i lay in bed, listening to the music playing on the speaker.

yeonjun and i have been together for 3 years now and we've never gone through something like this nor have i ever considered the possibility of breaking up with him so how did we get this far?

i pick up my phone to text him. i just wanna see something.

me:

yeonjun please come over quick!!

please.

something happened!!

i put my phone down to see if he will even respond.

"in my head we never grow apart. in my head you never break my heart. but we know that's not what we're doing. 'cause baby this not like the movies." i sing along softly letting a tear fall hearing no notification go off on my phone. this is exactly why i didn't wanna be alone tonight.

---

wooyoung's pov

i sit with san in his apartment just relaxing, catching up, all that fun stuff. it's been quite a while since we actually got to just hang out and talk but right now i just wish more than anything that he'd shut up or change the topic because he is driving me insane.

"i say be selfish." he finally says with a shrug to finish off his little rant.

"what do you mean by that?" i ask him, narrowing my eyes at his final statement.

"look, yeonjun is being a complete dick right now and who does she run to afterwards?"

"me?"

"bingo." he smiles, taking a sip from his can of beer.

"i'm not picking up what you're putting down."

"she goes to you for comfort and you treat her the way her boyfriend is supposed to. be selfish and let them break up. i mean, why are you even trying to help save a dying relationship?"

"because i respect both of them and their relationship. besides, that's just taking advantage of her vulnerability you ass."

sometimes he doesn't think past the present.

"and its not like she'd ever look at me that way. no matter what the state of her relationship with yeonjun is, she will still love him regardless." i tell him sadly. she's deeply in love with him and it hurts me so much because it's not certain if he shares the same sentiment anymore and i'm just here waiting to give her the love she deserves.

my phone rings and i pick up without checking who's calling.

"hello."

"jung wooyoung."

speak of the devil.

"y/n."

"wooyoung are you home?"

her words are slurred and my worry spikes. she's drunk in broad daylight. it's never a good sign.

"JUNG WOOYOUNG!"

i hear her starting to cry judging by the feint sniffing on the ither side.

"are you also tired of me now too?"

"where are you?"

"don't worry if you're busy right now. i don't wanna bother you." she hiccups, before yawning loudly.

"you're not. please tell me where you are."

"the streets." she laughs hysterically before catching her breath. "i'm outside yeonjun's apartment building."

her voice wavers when she says that and my heart sinks. what did that asshole do to her this time?

"i'm coming there okay. don't go anywhere."

i hang up, ready to get my keys.

"where are you running off to?" san questions with a raised eyebrow.

"to pick y/n up. she's not doing too good."

"let me come with."

"okay let's go."

once we get to the complex i see y/n sitting on the ground looking out of it.

"holy shit." i hear san whisper as we run to her and get her off the floor.

"wooyoung?" she smiles widely it doesn’t reach her eyes. she looks a mess with swollen eyes and tears still running down her cheeks. i feel terrible.

"if she can show up drunk at his door then why can't i? why am i not allowed to go to him all vulnerable like she does? i'm his girlfriend, not her!" she starts shouting out of nowhere which draws attention from a couple of people around us.

this isn't fair anymore. if he's gonna keep pushing her around like this he might as well just end this relationship instead of continuously making her feel like absolute shit.

"why doesn't he love me anymore wooyoung? why? why don't you love me anymore yeonjun?! what did i do?" she starts yelling, properly sobbing now, hitting my chest while she speaks.

"get lost." san says, probably talking to someone who is probably staring. i need to get her away from these people looking at her weirdly.

i take her to the car, getting in the back with her so she can sit comfortably.

"what did he do?" i ask her once she’s seated comfortably.

"he kicked me out because that bitch was there. she probably called him crying or some shit but i'm crying too." she points to herself, choking on her tears. "YEONJUN SEE I'M CRYING TOO!" she shouts to no one. i close my eyes, letting tears of my own fall. i haven’t seen her like this before. 'aww, look, you woke up poor mara who’s sad and going through things, and she’s sad and not doing too well.' it's always about poor sad mara! you know, he called me an attention seeker the other day? an attention seeker for wanting the bare minimum from my boyfriend. he's with that girl so much, he might as well be her boyfriend and not mine right?" she humorlessly laughs. "and then he had the audacity to tell me i can't be around you anymore. who does he think he is?”

did he seriously tell her she can’t be around me anymore? but then he continues to act the way he does. if y/n can't confide in me or him then who else is she supposed to run to?

“he's not mine anymore wooyoung. i think i've lost him."

i shake my head as she cries in my shoulder.

where did it all go wrong? i mean, he's never been like this before so what now? why is he acting differently now?

"enough is enough. san, please take her home and take care of her. make sure she drinks water and sobers up. i'll be there soon." i tell san who's in the passenger seat and he nods.

"san is here? hi san." she smiles widely, waving in no particular direction.

i give him the keys and wait for him to drive off before heading to yeonjun's apartment, knocking on the door and i wait for him to open. he's got a look of surprise written in his face.

"wooyoung? what are you doing here?" he asks and i shrug. "come in."

i walk in seeing another pair of shoes already there. he offers me a drink which i decline.

"is mara here?" i ask and he nods. "yeah, she's asleep in the room."

"i see."

what's gotten into him? he used to be the most attentive person when it came to y/n so what changed?

"what on earth do you think you're doing?" i ask him.

"sorry?" he asks me, completely dumbfounded by my sudden question.

"do you think what you're doing is right?"

"what's this all about?" he questions, clearly not expecting me to start asking him questions.

"mara is here sleeping am i right?" he nods. "and where is y/n, if you don't mind me asking."

"i sent her home. she came here, caused a scene and started drunkenly shouting so i sent her home because she could've woke mara up." i wanna strangle him so bad right now but i just scoff, deciding to choose peace.

"doesn't it concern you that she's coming to you drunk at 3 in the afternoon?" i ask him but it seems like i'm talking to a brick wall.

"what?"

"you're so dense."

"look, if you came here to do the same then you can go see yourself out."

"do you understand the shit you're putting y/n through?"

"don't involve yourself, this is between y/n and i." he warns but i'm not backing down. he either does something to fix this or he breaks up with her and he's deciding that today. i don't care anymore.

"no, its between you, y/n and mara so i will involve myself too. y/n has been crying non stop for days now because of you and your inability to see what mara is actually doing here."

"she didn't do anything. y/n clearly doesn't trust me to be around her so she's obviously gonna wanna cause a scene."

i raise my eyebrows at his bold choice of words. so he defends her by belittling his own girlfriend... it's bewildering to me.

"you're unbelievable. through all of this, when has she ever accused you of cheating with mara?" he remains silent. what else can he say? there's no way to defend the way he's acting right now and i will call him out for it. "she does trust you asshole, all she wants from you is for you to not blow her off because mara needs you. she needs you too yeonjun."

i'm saying all of this but a small part of me hopes he stays stubborn like this and they break up. san is right, it is selfish but i wanna be there for y/n the way yeonjun is failing to. she deserves so much more than this and that's what i wanna give her but then again.

but there's a small part of me that know i still don't have a chance anyway. she doesn't see me that way and that's the only reason i'm here trying to help save tis relationship. even if it hurts me in the end.

"i'm with her all the time." he defends and i scoff. there's no way he's actually being serious right now.

"that's bullshit and we both know it. when was the last time you two actually spent quality time together?"

"two weeks ago and then she walked out."

"without interruptions." i clarify and yeonjun's face drops. i don't know what he's thinking right now but he better be realizing his mistakes.

"you called her an attention seeker for wanting to be with her boyfriend who's too busy with another girl."

"you're making it sound like something it isn't."

"well how am i supposed to know what actually goes down when the two of you are alone together."

that hits a nerve because he yells for me to shut up and i just smile at his reaction.

"don't you ever accuse me of such things EVER. i love y/n way too much to even think about doing that to her so who are you to even question me on that? besides, you're the last one to talk."

"excuse me?"

don't act like you're not always with her. who knows what you two are doing behind my back?" he asks and i raise my eyebrows. someone needs to be here to slap some sense into him because he's genuinely lost it. if he loves her so much then why is he acting like this.

"that's how much you trust her and i? you know, she's never questioned you about mara. you say love her but you don't trust her? is that it yeonjun? and you have the audacity to say you love her then why don't you fucking show it? she sat outside this very building for who knows how long crying her eyes out asking why you don't love her anymore. she asked why mara can come to you in that very state but she can't and she's your girlfriend, no less. you know what else she said? she said she thinks she's lost you. she said you're not hers anymore. are you hearing me? she's giving up on you and she’s giving up on trying to singlehandedly save your relationship." i tell him while he looks at me with tears forming in his eyes.

oh now he's listening...

"you know, she's told me before that she's thinking of breaking up with you because loving you is hard and she doesn't think it's worth all this pain it’s giving her."

"she said that?" he asks and i nod.

"i'm gonna give you an ultimatum. it's y/n or mara."

"quit playing wooyoung."

"i'm not. either choose mara and end it with y/n and i will personally make sure it ends or choose y/n and stop being friends with mara."

"why? you hoping i choose mara so that she can run into your arms?" he asks rhetorically but that question has an answer already.

"yes i am, actually. she's already doing that, isn't she?"

"you son of a bitch. i always knew you had feelings for her. if you ever say shit like that to me it won't end well."

"look, i was never even trying to hide it. she only runs to me after you treat her like trash. she doesn't see me like that and you know that. that's why i'm here right now. because no matter what my feelings for her are, you’re the one she thinks about. you're all she talks about. i know i don't have a chance otherwise you two would've broken up the moment she came to me the first time crying because of you. make a choice yeonjun." i say before walking away.

---

reader's pov

headache. a fucking headache is the last thing i need right now.

"y/n?"

"hmm?"

"how are you feeling?"

i open my eyes to see san standing by the door with a mug in hand.

"horrible. why did i do all that?"

"i made some tea for you." he hands me the cup and i thank him, taking a sip a little too quickly because i burnt my tongue. "easy now."

"sorry."

"what happened yesterday?" he asks sitting down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"where do i even start?"

"ladies and gentlemen. sorry i have a little announcement. attention everyone." i slur out to everyone who's around me in the bar. it's more on the secluded part of the club so i can get away with making a little announcement. i just need these people to listen.

"ma'am, get down from there." a man who's sitting at the bar tries to help me down but i haven't said what i needed to yet.

"hold on i need to tell everyone this. HELLO!! yes."

"ma'am get down or i'm afraid we'll have to throw you out."

"my boyfriend is an asshole." i laugh hysterically, clapping and everything. "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE YEONJUN!!"

"get down!"

"okay okay i am. relax." the people around me helped me down but i was escorted out because these people are boring and don't know how to loosen up.

i could go to yeonjun. i hope he's not busy with mara right now. i miss him and we haven't spoken in a good minute.

i decide to walk, not really feeling like sitting in a stuffy car.

once i get there, i take a breath before knocking on the door and wait for him to open but nothing so i just enter.

"CHOI YEONJUN!" where is he? "babe i miss you where are you?"

"y/n?" he appears from his room and i immediately run to him for a hug.

"were you drinking?" he asks annoyed. what's his problem?

"just a little. i had like 5..."

"y/n."

"bottles." i burst out laughing but he doesn't seem to find it funny. so uptight.

"y/n you're drunk."

"am not." i pout and he rolls his eyes.

"why are you drinking at this time of the day?"

"because of you. you made me feel like shit when you didn't respond my message yesterday. o drank because you don't care about me yeonjun. you didn't even call to check. WHY DIDN'T YOU AT LEAST CALL ME? TELL ME!"

"yeonjun?" i look at the person calling his name and there stands mara in the doorway to his room.

"babe is she wearing my clothes?" i ask him after eyeing her up and down.

"she's just borrowing them."

"no you are incorrect. YOU yeonjun, took it upon yourself to give her my clothes. borrowing would imply that she asked me to wear my clothes and me allowing her to but it's nothing of the sort. see how it works? come on, go change." i tell her walking towards her but yeonjun holds me back from walking forward.

"what am i going to wear then? jun please speak to her." she is such a bit-

"y/n."

"give her yours then. there problem solved, now everyone can have their tea. i'm so smart." i pat myself on the back beaming at my bright idea.

"y/n you're embarrassing yourself."

"in front of who?" i start looking around to see if there's anyone else here but it's just the three of us. "i don't see anyone."

"me. you're embarrassing me."

"okay but in front of who though?"

"y/n go home, alright, you're drunk and you woke mara up."

"oh sorry mara. i didn't mean to barge into your home and wake you up. and don't even worry about my clothes you can have them. you've already taken something else from me, getting upset over clothes would just be trivial."

"Y/N!" i immediately stop talking, flinching from him shouting my name suddenly. my heart starts rapidly beating and my breaking picks up pace. "please just go home. now."

i nod, trying to hold back my tears as i walk out the door.

"im so sorry y/n." san said, taking my hand in his to try to comfort me. i keep my head ducked.

the door opens and wooyoung walks in.

"san what did you do to her?" he jokes making me laugh a little bit.

"nothing. shut up."

"y/n, can i talk to you?"

"sure." he walks in, sitting down next to san.

"i spoke to yeonjun." he starts off but i don't wanna hear it. anything with regards to him, i don't wanna hear it. his name alone just upsets me.

"let's not mention his name right now."

"i gave him an ultimatum." he blankly says and i look at him.

"what's the point? he's chosen her time and time again, what's the point? and talking about him will just piss me off." i dismiss the idea, not wanting to talk about it further. "let's talk about something else." i suggest.

"you really not gonna talk to him?" san asks and i shake my head.

"i don't want to. you know, something in me keeps telling me to just meet up with him so i can end it, but i'm weak. i'm too weak to do something like that."

"you can't avoid him either though." wooyoung injects but i shake my head.

"then give me time to think things over."

"i'll respect whatever decision you make." he says.

"thank you woo. but please don't let me cause a dent in your friendship. the last thing i want is for you two to stop talking on my expense."

"i'm just gonna say it. y/n, you're too good for him." san says making me smile.

"thank you." i finish my tea and take a shower before heading back to my place.

i look through the racks of the detergent aisle. i've been needing to buy groceries for a while.

the past week after the whole incident at yeonjun's apartment have been complete hell. a whole back and forth of emotions and its honestly too much for me but i need some air and run errands and basically get my shit together because i can't let a man put my whole life on pause like this.

my phone beeps and i check, smiling while reading wooyoung's message. him and san have been checking up on me every 3 hours, driving me up the wall here and there but i appreciate it nonetheless.

once i get home, carrying my groceries, genuinely in a good mood after actually taking a walk but ummm.

"what are you doing here?" i ask the girl.

"just visiting a mutual friend." she slyly responds making me roll my eyes.

"get lost."

"no."

"suit yourself."

i unlock the door, going in, shutting it in her face, waving before locking the door.

because i thought a bitch said something. i do not have time today.

i put on my music, deciding to clean up and pack my stuff like the mature adult i am.

while i'm going through my bills, i hear rattling at the door.

now who's trying to break in?

i stand up to go check, deciding to bang on the door to stop this person but then they start again.

"see what i’m not gonna do is deal with this rattling noise going through these thin ass walls, if you wanna get in just knock like a normal person dammit!"

the person knocks and i open the door. why? i don't know, i could literally be in danger.

"what the hell do you want?" i look at the tall man in front of me, not really expecting him to be standing there.

"oh it’s you." i try to close the door but he pushes it and keeps it open. "are you here to shout at me for closing the door in your precious mara's face?" i ask looking at the girl standing behind him.

"i'm here to talk to you."

"i don't wanna talk to you. look i've been having a good day today so please take your little hip attachment and leave."

she looks at me smugly and i decided to just turn a blind eye because she's pissing me off.

"mara please leave." he tells her not even looking at her. her face drops and i look at yeonjun, confused.

"do you want me to wait for you outside?" she asks him, voice getting high pitched as if she wasn't sounding like someone's father while speaking to me earlier.

"go home mara." he sternly tells her.

"jun-"

"leave." he urges making her open and close her mouth like a fish. deserved bitch.

"yeonjun why are you here?" i ask in a defeated tone not really in the mood to talk to him right now.

"i wanted to talk to you. can we please talk?"

"no." i try closing the door again and he stops my from doing so again.

"please y/n."

"i don't want to talk to you right now. please just leave me alone and don't be so rude to mara. go with her and leave me alone please."

"y/n."

"GO."

"i'm not ready to give up on us y/n."

"I TRIED WITH YOU YEONJUN! i've been trying with you. it’s only when i've reached my limit when you come to me with that? it took someone to force you to make a choice for you to realize the shit you’ve done but all those times i've pleaded with you flew over your head. i stood in your apartment drunk as a cry for help and you threw me out because i woke your dearest friend up! i took everything and accepted it quietly. you called me names and i accepted it, you spoke to me however you wanted to and i accepted it. you had that girl in MY CLOTHES, USING MY SHIT SLEEPING IN YOUR BED AND I FUCKING KEPT QUIET. i never once doubted you or your relationship with mara, only to have wooyoung tell me that you had the fucking audacity to question my loyalty to you when i've never given you a reason to. it's not fair so for you to come here, sending mara away in front of me as if to prove a point and demand that i talk to you. it's just pathetic." i yell out to him, finally getting it off my chest.

it felt good to actually say it and dare i say, to shout at him the way i did.

"you're only here because wooyoung gave you an ultimatum and that's what fucking opened your eyes? i'm your girlfriend yeonjun, not a choice and if it's gotten to a point where you havr to you're have to choose me or someone else then please just don't bother choosing me, it's insulting. now please give me some time and leave from here."

he nods his head and i can see the prominent pain in his eyes but i need to stand my ground.

he finally leaves and i shut the door. i truly can't believe this guy.

the last couple of weeks have been hell and here he comes all willy-nilly talking about some, 'i'm not giving up on us' well it sure as hell felt like it. after pushing me away for so long he only comes to me now after i've given up? i've told him how i felt but he only listened after someone else told him.

"fuck you yeonjun!" i sob out quietly. i've found myself saying that a lot lately because who does he actually think he is?

still, after all the heartache, my heart is still too weak to leave him.

he's just a caring person though. that's how he is but if he's caring, then we wouldn't be like this now.

i know that mara is the main reason all of this is happening, he's never acted this way until she developed feelings for him and decided to try to separate us, but he still made his own decisions regardless of that. he let her get between us and he chose to treat me the way he did.

i wanna get back to how we once were but there's this lingering question of 'what if this all happens again?'. i mean, he didn't hesitate to forget me once so what's stopping him from doing it again?

my phone rings and i walk to go pick it up, seeing it's wooyoung calling.

"hello?"

"are you dumb?" he asks me and i furrow my eyebrows.

"okay ouch, first of all, and second, where is this coming from?" i ask him.

"why did you shut yeonjun down when he wanted to talk things out?"

"because i'm tired woo. he's been putting me on the back burner for another girl for weeks before i said anything and when i did, it all just spiraled after that. he spoke to me any which way and i took it but it became too much. i'm tired from all the chasing." i rant out to him, feeling tears forming.

"so what does this mean for the two of you?" he asks.

that's a good question...

the next week has just been me thinking everything through. 3 years together is a long time to consider.

i call yeonjun telling him i’m outside before entering the building. i walk to his door thinking over, knocking on it before he opens it.

"y/n. uh come in." he steps aside, allowing me in. being in here fills my head with nothing but memories of the recent events. that's not a good sign.

"do you want anything?" he asks but i decline.

sitting at the kitchen table in awkward silence, my leg bouncing up and down from the nerves that have taken over.

"i'm sorry for lashing out on you last timea. i didn't let you explain your side of the story which was unfair on my part." i tell him, avoiding eye contact.

"how you reacted was valid. i haven't been the best boyfriend to you for a long time now and i wanna apologize for everything. for the way i spoke to you and treated you. it was completely unwarranted and unnecessary and i should have listened to you the first time, no actually, i shouldn't have given you a reason to feel that way in the first place."

i see tears forming in his eyes as he speaks and it takes a lot in me to not engulf him in a hug to comfort him. i can't do that right now, i need to be headstrong.

"it shouldn't have taken someone else to talk to me about this before realizing what i did to you and i should have managed my priorities better. you know, you're the most important person to me and i didn't show it and worst of all, i questioned your loyalty to me, not once but twice."

i never once did. not even when i saw mara walk out of his room because that's how much i trust him. you can't love without trust and he clearly couldn't seem to trust me and that's what stings the most.

that's what breaks my heart more than anything. i haven't given any reason to feel that way which is why i was shocked when he doubted got just me but wooyoung as well. everything between us has been nothing but platonic but clearly he didn't see it that way. a tear rolls down his cheek and i look away so that i don't see him crying, it's my biggest weakness.

"i should know better than anyone that you wouldn't even think of doing such a thing. look, i regret everything y/n. you shouldn't be apologizing for the way you reacted yesterday, i was wrong, i let someone get between us and i hurt you. that's my biggest regret." he says.

we both have tears running down our eyes but i still refuse to look in his eyes. he takes hold of my hand before continuing to talk.

"i'm not asking for you to forgive me right away because i know that's a big ask but let me earn it please."

"okay. you can earn my forgiveness." i smile weakly at him before quickly looking away. "by letting me go." i finish and i feel his grip on my hand loosen a bit.

and that is why i didn't want to look in his eyes. because i know i wouldn't be able to tell him that had i looked in his eyes.

it hurts to do but i know it's the best decision for me right now.

" y/n, what- what are you saying?" he asks, stumbling over his words.

"i thought about this yeonjun. the things you've said to me, the things you've done. it was so easy for you to forget how to act, who's to say it won't happen again?"

"i cut ties with mara."

"it shouldn't have to get to that point. that means that you'd let this keep happening otherwise. it shouldn't get to the point of you having to choose."

"i don't wanna lose you." he weakly tells me but i shake my head.

"actions have consequences. please let me go. let's end this here." i feel the lump in my throat forming and that's the last thing i need. i can't let myself change my mind now. i've had to think about this far too long to let myself fall back in his arms. it's for the best.

"is that really what you want?" he asks and i nod, not trusting myself to talk. "then that's it."

i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

"i love you yeonjun."

"i love you too." he says before letting go of my hand.

i walk out without looking back, because if i do, i'll just run back to him.

‘sorry heart, i guess we’ll just have to start again.’

i let more tears fall as i walk into wooyoung's car.

"ready to go?" he asks and i nod and with that he drives off.

"you missed the exit." i told him and he just smiles.

"i know."

"where are we going?"

"who knows?"

"wooyoung."

"you need to see some scenery, get some air, and let your mind relax so that's why. remember, there's a method behind my madness. there always is." he saus smiling.

"thank you woo."

"don't. you deserve the best and i'll always be there to give you just that." he says to me making me smile.

#choi yeonjun #yeonjun #yeonjun imagine #yeonjun scenarios #jung wooyoung #wooyoung #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung scenarios #yeonjun angst #wooyoung angst #tomorrow x together angst #txt angst #ateez angst #tomorrow x together #ateez #kpop imagines

210 notes · View notes