country bumpkin merlin not knowing anything about city life and accidentally courting arthur without knowing
merlin, watching gwen give lancelot her favor: why do you do that
gwen, heart eyes at lance and not paying that much attention to the conversation: so he knows i’m rooting for him
merlin, with an Idea: ah.
gwaine, lover of chaos, pisser offer of nobles and royals alike, ultimate wingman: merlin…you have such lonely lips. shall i introduce them to mine?
merlin, unaware of the game gwaine is playing: so you can steal my breath away? i think not, scoundrel
arthur, crushing his goblet in his hand:
merlin: arthur’s been in a bad mood recently :( i should cheer him up
merlin, remembering when arthur was put out when merlin brought morgana flowers and not him: i know just the thing
merlin, bringing a bouquet of carnations, roses, and tulips and setting them on arthur’s table while he’s eating breakfast: good morning, sire
arthur, trained on flower language in hopes that one day when he was to take a queen he could woo her easily, trying not to audibly choke on his sausage as he reads merlin’s declaration of love sitting in front of him:
arthur, who recently found out about merlin’s magic and was trying to find a way to bring it up, catching him in the act and watching merlin panic to explain himself:
merlin, Freaking: and i swear to you arthur, i have only ever used it for you. my magic is yours. my life is yours. i am yours. i would never do anything to harm you. i have protected you for years and will continue to do so at your side if you’ll have me
arthur, already believing them to be courting, desperately trying to figure out if that was a proposal for marriage or not but tired of being confused and deciding fuck it: here.
merlin, taking it: i…uh…huh?
arthur, watching merlin with hawk eyes and trying to figure out what he’s thinking and feeling: it’s my mothers sigil
merlin, confused as FUCK but is focusing on the fact that arthur is handing him something of his mother rather than a death sentence: my…my lord?
arthur, realizing how scared merlin’s must be about him finding out about his magic and trying to comfort him while also proposing, killing two birds with one stone: i will always keep you at my side, merlin, so long as we both shall live. if you’ll allow me.
merlin, almost collapsing with relief and tearing up, smiling at arthur as if he had parted the storm clouds to allow sun to shine down on them in that moment: of course…of course, arthur. always and forever.
merlin, watching the castle staff rush this way and that: wow. this banquet must be incredibly important
sir leon the long suffering, day one ride or die, one of the original merthur shippers: banquet? merlin, this is for your wedding
merlin, overworked and exhausted: my WHAT? to WHO??
leon, regretting everything he’s ever done in his life that led him to this moment: to…arthur?
merlin, over joyed but also absolutely befuddled: i’m getting married to ARTHUR?????
leon: you two have been courting for the past year or so, have you not?
merlin: i’ve been COURTING ARTHUR?????? FOR A YEAR?????????
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Feral Friday 141 Thoughts
NSFW/MDNI/18+
When you really need to ride him...
...He’s sitting on the couch, watching the day’s match. Knees spread wide and taking up half the cushions. You’re cuddled under his arm with your feet tucked up, reading a book or a download on your phone. It’s in the middle of a steamy scene in your latest bodice-ripper. After chapters’ worth of fighting and resisting, the heroine is finally going to come all over the big mean villain’s engorged appendage.
You’re so engrossed, you’re sure he can feel your breath change and your cheek heat up where it rests against his chest. Can he sense your arousal as it dampens your knickers underneath the old, softened t-shirt you claimed from his bedroom floor the first time you slept over?
When the whistle sounds to end the half, you vaguely notice, until he stirs next to you. “Hey, babe? We got any snacks?”
“Umm, I th-think so.” You pull your attention away just in time to meet his eyes. And he immediately knows.
“Got yourself a good one there, do you?” You’ve bitten your lips raw, you’re sweating, and your chest is nearly heaving with lust as you nod desperately.
“Do you mind if I take the edge off?” You squeeze your thighs together and feel the slick dripping past the fabric.
“Your finger or mine?” he asks, keeping one eye on the telly and one on you as your maneuver out of your underwear.
“I’m going to need something a bit more this time,” you nearly whine as you launch onto his lap, careful not to headbutt his chin in your urgency.
GAZ – He doesn't miss a beat as you nestle your excited little pussy just over his cock. He’s already rock-hard and it doesn’t take much to pull him out from the sweatpants he wears slung low on his hips.
“Take what you need, love.” He smiles proudly as you drop down onto him, slipping and sliding on your own slick.
And you do, pitching forward to settle him against the bundle of nerves deep in your belly. He’s so long, he doesn’t just graze it, he impales it. You swear he’s in your lungs, stealing your breath with each rise and fall.
He cheers you on the whole way.
“Look at you bouncing so well on my cock...So pretty all flushed and sweaty...Fucking hot, you are.”
Your unfairly handsome, quick-tongued rake tenderly wipes the hair and perspiration from your face, and lets you use him until you're shattered and worn out.
SOAP: He lets you grind against him for a bit through his gym shorts, dick fully chubbed like the pommel of a saddle.
“Please tell me it’s a Scottish highland warrior that’s got you so bothered, and not some prissy English lord. You’ll hurt my feelings.” He grins, his eyes already rolling back in his head at your steady stroking.
“Keep talking, Johnny.” You hump against him faster, knowing the second you put him in, you’ll be done for. A weeping, overstimulated mess before he even catches his stride. His burly, veiny length has an upwards curve like he was molded and kiln-forged just to fit you.
And he could go for hours if you didn’t wind him up good. Tease him and test him, get his attention exactly where it needs to be.
“Let me suck on your tits, bonny lass.” He deepens his brogue and his voice an octave as he tries not to laugh, while he strips your shirt off and buries his face into your bosom.
You are quite sure that the hot-headed highland scoundrel in your story didn’t use the word ‘tits’, but you let it slide. The one between your thighs is everything you need, and more.
GHOST – He’s wearing jeans, so it’s a bit harder to get him free. After you let out a frustrated huff at the complexity of his wardrobe, he cups you under your ass and stands you both up. Undoing his belt buckle and the fly one-handed before setting you back down astride him again.
“Needy little dove today.”
“Just let me try, Si.” You rarely ever ride him. The few times you’ve attempted it, you give up when your thighs turn to mush and your cunt aches from being split in two. He’s just too thick for a quickie.
“Are you going to let me help this time, or are you going to be stubborn?”
“Help!” The strangled sound escapes your throat as you fit him in to the hilt. He takes up so much space, you can’t tell where you end and he begins.
“You’re fucking soaked.” He rolls his hips to stretch you further, to find the right spot, as your slick trickles down to coat his balls. You feel them wet and sticky against your seam.
“Mmmh-uhhh, that’s it. Right there,” you bellow gratefully to the ceiling.
“What are you going to do about it?” He grabs your hips rudely, fingers pressing to dimple the skin and hold you down as he spears your nerves like a spike.
You fight against his hold, knowing that’s what he's looking for. Just a little fire in your belly, a little steel in your spine and your merciless, battle-scarred rogue will give you anything you want.
“That’s it, dovey. Fuck me good.”
PRICE – He’s watching you with awe, wide-eyed and slack jawed, so immersed in the act of being milked by your warm, soft walls that he’s relinquished control completely. You know that look too well.
“Do not come yet, John. Please. Think of bullets. Hollow points and grenades. A...ummm, a panzer!” You’re almost there. So...close your mind is just pulling words from memories of past conversations you were only barely listening to.
“A panzer? Like the bloody old German tank?” he asks with the sort of clarity of mind you need of him in this situation.
“Yes, keep thinking of dusty relics rotting in museums. While I ride your big, beautiful cock—”
“You’ve done it now.” He groans, and you feel him stiffen inside you. The sensation of it, coupled with the hot spurts of his spend hitting your most sensitive spot, get you there just in time to join him.
You don’t even mind that it was so quick. It warms your heart, and your cunt, that the callous, domineering war hero falls to pieces so completely for no one but you.
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May I pretty please request an emergency medicine doctor!reader x Hotch blurb? I’d love to see both of them in careers that are difficult, yet despite that they still manage to be together because they understand each other so much. Maybe something with the rest of the team as well if it’s possible 🫶🏼🥹
Emily used to think Hotch would never be happy again. She’d drive him home after work, pick him up in the mornings, and she’d think about how miserable he was, the kind of misery that hooks you in its grip, has you turning to wine or whiskey just to keep breathing.
She thought for sure he’d buckle. When Hayley died, he’d have to. How could you not? But he kept going and proved she should’ve had more faith in him, becoming the father Jack deserves, and, surprisingly, your partner.
“You’re squeezing me too tight,” you mumble, just loud enough for Emily and the others to hear you where Hotch hugs you a few feet from the dinner table. “Why are you trying to break my back?”
“I haven’t seen you in three weeks.”
“Eighteen days is not three weeks.”
“It might as well be.” Hotch peels away from you to give you a once over. Emily’s half jealousy and half fondness, seeing him love someone so obviously. “Are you hungry? I ordered for you.”
“Super hungry. Do I smell like antiseptic?”
“No, just soap.”
“Well, that’s not much better.”
Hotch puts his arm behind your back and guides you to the table. The team squeeze out hellos between mouthfuls and you take your place at Hotch’s side behind a steaming plate. You’re as ravenous as the rest of them after your long shift; Morgan can hardly get a word out of you for the first ten minutes, though he tries, and you attempt to be polite. Emily nudges him until he gets the hint to stop.
“Here,” Hotch says, putting a heaping of his food onto your plate with a large spoon.
“Stop.” You attack his spoon with a fork.
“It’s fine, you like it more than I do.”
“Don’t care. You need your energy. I’m going to make you carry me up the stairs home.”
He’s unintimidated. “Ah.”
“Ah,” you echo. “You sound so doubtful.”
Hotch looks like he might try to keep flirting with you, but he gives in quickly, betraying how much he’s missed you with a hand slipping under the table. Emily sees his fingers curl over your knee, averting her gaze with a feigned sip of coke.
She can deduce the silent question you ask one another about anyways.
“We’ll have dessert,” you say. We won’t skip out early. “What are you having, Dr. Reid?”
Hotch orders you three different things, which you eat fast.
“They’re not feeding you at the hospital?” Rossi asks.
“Three emergency transfers in twelve hours,” you explain, slouching now into Hotch’s side, one slow inch at a time. “I didn’t have time for much.”
“That’s not healthy,” Hotch murmurs in concern.
“I’m sure I can ask any of your friends about your eating habits and find a similar schedule,” you brush him off, raising your gaze to Emily, then Morgan, then Rossi and Reid. Everyone smiles the same way. Hotch is caught, and his laugh jostles your shoulder.
“Have you ever heard the saying, ‘do as I say, and not as I do?’” he asks.
God, Emily thinks with a huff of a laugh she can’t contain, get a room.
“He likes that one,” Spencer says.
“I don’t doubt it.” You lift your lips to his jaw and press a peck to the line of it. One, then two. “Maybe that’s why we've lasted as long as we have. Mutual disregard for our wellbeing.”
“And a great deal of care for each other,” Rossi says, nodding sagely. “This is why my marriages never last.”
“Is that why?” Spencer asks.
“You’ve gotten to be quite the lark.”
“Lark,” Hotch whispers to you. Emily, sitting at his other side, might be the only one who hears, the others distracted by Spencer and Rossi’s ensuing squabble.
“Scoundrel,” you agree.
“How’s your head now?”
“It’s gonna be a hundred percent better if you give me that,” you say, pointing hopefully at his full drink.
He doesn’t hesitate to press it into your hand. Emily would never suspect you hadn’t seen one another for weeks; you move and he follows. You rub your cheek against his shoulder. He touches his nose to your hair, his eyes shuttering closed for one stolen, blissful second. “Missed you,” he says under his breath.
Emily looks away with a smile. Hotch isn’t hopelessly miserable anymore.
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⚝ " mine, all mine "
How do the hazbin boys kiss you
Warnings : I mentioned 'lady' in lucifer's part, but the reader can still be interpreted as whatever gender ya want. Highly suggestive on both Lucifer and Vox's parts.
Genre : Fluff, suggestive
A/n : this account has been doing so well lately and I just want to say thank you so much. I love every single comment you guys send in and the support is so appreciated. You're the reason I get the motivation to write these silly little stories so thank you.
Characters : alastor, Vox, lucifer
▢ alastor ⍋
- Sweet as cream -
"Al, can you pass me the cream?" You asked politely, stirring your coffee absentmindedly. Your eyes didn't lift from your book, too engrossed in the scene that was playing out.
Your boyfriend hummed, currently in the middle of his meal and looked at the cream sitting next to him," I'm not sure, darling. Can I?" He teased out, his ever-present grin stretching mischievously.
You blinked at his response and looked up from your book, raising an eyebrow at him," Well, I would like to think my lovely boyfriend isn't incompetent." You replied bluntly, a sweet tone to your voice as your head tilted to the side.
"Frankly? My wonderful partner is being rather rude at the moment and doesn't seem to be deserving of the cream!" He shot back just as sweetly.
"Oh-hoh? Is that right?" Your eye twitched, smile dropping ever so slightly," Well, perhaps I can show you just how rude I can be when you're banished to the couch, hm?"
"What a card to pull, my dear!" He placed his face in his hands, eyes sparkling with amusement and glee," I must really be pushing your pretty little buttons."
There was a small growl at the back of your throat but you were quick to push it down with a cough, but from Alastor's perked up ears and widening grin, he had heard you.
"Alastor, love of my life, how can I stop you from being a pain in my ass today?" You asked, making sure your tone was light with gentleness despite your foul language.
He let out his typical 'hm', his eyes narrowing in thought as one of his claws tapped his chin,"... A kiss may just suffice."
You blanched at him,"... are you that emotionally chaotic that you have to irritate me to request for a kiss?"
"..." He began to slowly push the cream towards the edge of the table, a challenging glint in his eyes.
His actions basically answered your question, however.
"Oh my-... Okay! Okay." You begrudgingly got up from your seat and walked around the table to your tall deer-man whilst he only watched you with a cute little sparkle in his eyes.
You reached a hand out gently, brushing a knuckle against his cheek before cupping it. The smile couldn't stop from spreading across your lips when you saw him lean into your loving touch. He's come so far where sudden touches are concerned and you've never been more proud.
You leaned down, smile still on your face and you took note of the prideful grin on Alastor's lips as he looked at your lips," Don't look so happy with yourself - you're being a scoundrel, yknow?"
"Oh dear, a scoundrel?" He breathed, pretending to be devastated at the revelation," Whatever can I do to get back into your good graces, my love?"
You leaned down, lips brushing his," Good question..." Your hand fell from his face and you brushed a thumb onto the cream before bringing the white treat to his lips, swiping it across his bottom one,"... Give me what I asked for from the beginning?"
And with that, Alastor closed the gap between you both, lips moulding together perfectly. You hummed into the kiss, cupping his face softly to deepen the kiss, your tongue swiping across his bottom lip to clean the cream off.
At this, the passionate kiss got all the more sweeter. Alastor's hands fell to your hips, kneading the flesh like dough as he focused on the feeling of your soft lips against his.
When you both pulled away for a break, you were left panting against eachothers lips. The red-haired demon smiled widely, eyes lidded," I trust that this has qwelled our little rivalry, hm?"
"I dunno..." you pecked his lips and gave him a teasing grin," You still seem like a scoundrel to me."
Alastor chuckled lowly, "Then let me remind you of how much of a gentleman I can be," dragging you into another sweet kiss.
▢ vox ᯤ
- underlying spice -
"Vox, you're- ah~... You're gonna be fuckin' late idiot," You grunted out as he nipped at your neck, the feeling of his teeth sending literal pulses of electricity through your veins.
He had you caged to his desk, chest pushing against yours. Your bodies were so close together that you could feel a low and pleasurable buzz between you both.
He groaned against your neck," You think I give a shit about meetings when I have you pressed against me like this?" His sharp teeth grazed your skin teasingly, but there was the underlying threat of breaking your skin with them," and you're sooo fuckin' pretty like this too... I'm offended you'd think I'd abandon you in a state like this, babe."
Your hands gripped onto his shirt, giving him a threatening undertone as well," I am not letting you back out of a meeting I've been planning for months just 'cause you wanna get your fucking dick wet." You gritted out, but still not pushing him away.
"You're so bratty today." He pulled from your neck to grin down at you crookedly, an almost lazy tilt to his eyes," only makes me want you more."
"Well, you don't get that privilege dipshit. You need to go. Now." You frowned up at him, tapping his screen with a clawed finger.
"Stop acting like you don't want me to get you off. We both know that's not fuckin' true." He deadpanned.
"I can just go to Val for help." You shrugged absentmindedly," No biggie."
There was a low growl from him as moved his hands to your thighs, lifting you onto his desk suddenly. You yelped from the action and stared on in shock and arousal.
"Stop fucking fighting me on this." He mumbled, leaning in close to your face as his eyes narrowed," as if Val couldn't compare to me- are you fucking shitting me?" He seemed genuinely offended at the notion," You're both power-bottoms, how would that even work?"
"I dunno..." you tried to gain the higher ground by playing with some lint on his suit," I could top, this one time..." you leaned close to his face, an unhinged glint in your eyes," Juuuust to piss. You. Off..."
Suddenly, Vox surged forwards, capturing your lips in his. Almost instantly, his tongue is shoved down your throat, the buzzing of electricity making you moan. You gripped onto his jacket desperately, wanting to deepen the kiss even further but he refused. He set the slow and erotic pace of the kiss, claw digging into your hips to try and control himself. His other hand entangled into your hair, tugging ever so slightly to shove his tongue further into your mouth for more exploration.
Red liquid drooled from his mouth, the same coming from you too as you gasped and moaned into this rough kiss. You could swear the buzzing coming from his tongue was turning your brain into mush, making you forget about your previous grievances and think about him, him, him.
When he pulled from you, trail of red saliva connecting your lips as you panted breathlessly.
"... You're such a whiny fucking baby about everything." You grumbled.
Vox only grinned maniacally, knowing that meant you had given in," and you're easy to push over the edge, baby."
To celebrate his accomplishment of getting out of a meeting to rail you instead, he played an applause sound and people cheering from his screen to really rub it in your face, grin widening at the sight of the twitch of a smile on your lips.
"Oh, shut up!" You laughed out before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss.
▢ lucifer morningstar ⚝
- taste of home -
"Hon, I'm happy for you and everything, but isn't this a little bit excessive?" You mumbled out, a look of concern on your face as you watched him run around his office like a headless chicken to find a thin paintbrush.
"Pffft- Whaaat? No!" He waved his hand dismissively and grinned like a madman as he tinkered away at a little duck, hand painting meticulously," this is the perfect birthday present for her!" He then looked at you from over his shoulder, giving you lidded eyes and a charming grin," just trust the process, pretty."
Your heart fluttered at the nickname and you huffed, giving into his wild ideas as usual. His wonderful mind was a force to be reckoned with, and when he has a plan then there's no stopping him.
"You've been painting ducks for the passed three hours, though." You pointed out and walked over to him when his back was turned, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind. He didn't even react to your touch, continuing to paint the little ducky like it was his final mission in life.
But he did lean into your touch, however. Maybe he isn't a lost cause after all.
He didn't answer you, but you couldn't help but watch him. His hand moving methodically. You already knew what duck this was going to be, it was almost a perfect replica of Charlie.
But as a duck. Duh.
You smiled softly at the sight of it, watching for a minute or so before you leaned down to his neck, opening your mouth to whisper," Earth to Lou~..." you cooed out gently.
His shoulders tensed and his movements paused, a shiver running down his spine. He bit his lip and then gulped," y-yea-... ahem... yeah?" He could feel his cheeks growing hot at the press of your warm lips to the back of his neck.
"When are you gonna take a break?..." You hummed, trailing your kisses across his neck.
He set the duck down slowly, your affection having a grip on him,"... Now seems like a good time." He hummed back, head tilting to the side to give you more access.
"What a good answer~" you breathed out prasingly, lips sucking a little love bite to the back of his neck which made him moan lowly.
"Y-you're killing me here, beautiful..."
You chuckled," Kind of the idea, hon." Tapping his shoulder, you kissed his cheek," how about you turn around, hm? You can make it up to me with a kiss."
"Make... make it up to you?"
"Make up for ignoring me."
He smirked and turned around in your arms, wrapping his own around your waist, chin resting on your chest as he looked up at you," Oh yeah? My pretty lady wanted attention, huh?" He teased out gently with that heart-warmingly charming grin.
"No no no. You don't get to turn this on me, you tease." You grunted out, brows furrowing as you tapped his forehead.
"And why not?" He challenged, grin never falling.
"... because."
"What groundbreaking reasoning!" He laughed and then pulled you into his lap. A hand trailed up and down your spine lightly, the other moving to pull you closer into him by the waist," If you wanted attention, you could have just said, honey."
"You would have won, then."
"Who says I'm not winning right now?"
You pressed your forehead against his, eyes narrowing," Me."
"... and your word is final, yeah?" His amusement was clear," The King of Hell's word is worthless compared to yours?"
You giggled," correct."
He huffed out a breath of amusement and brought one of your hands to his lips, licking your wrist with a sultry glint to his eyes," Oh, wow... then I guess I really have to step my game up then, eh?"
Watching him with warm cheeks, you nodded with a gentle smile to your lips, "You do."
He brought you close to his face by cupping the back of your neck, pressing a gentle yet passionate kiss to your lips. His tongue immediately licking your bottom lip for permission to enter. You opened your mouth for him, humming lowly in pleasure as your hands ran through his hair.
His lips were warm and soft, they felt like home. The gentleness balanced out with the dominance and sent the perfect shivers throughout your body.
His touch to your back was soothing, claws sliding up and down; drawing patterns, spelling out your name and then his and then drawing a heart around it.
Fuck, he was so cheesy but it only made your love grow more.
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