He Stayed Quiet
Hey guys!!! So, recently, I listened to a beautiful song by @lovelylangst (seriously, it’s so beautiful I still get goosebumps listening to it, so hit them up if you want to listen to it.) I wrote down the lyrics at the end, but the words themselves don’t do the song enough justice.
Anyway, I got some of the greatest inspiration to write a little something based off of that song. And here it is! I hope y’all enjoy.
(Trigger warning for abuse.)
Being quiet was harder than most people would think. Especially for Lance, who was always so bubbly and happy and smiling. If there was noise in the Castle, it was because he was making it. He couldn’t sneak around the Garrison as Hunk or Pidge could. He was always the one who bumped into a table, knocked something over, and alerted Iverson or whoever was on duty that there were cadets out after curfew.
He was the one who would get kicked out of the library because he was laughing too hard and too loud. Yes, Lance, you really are being that loud. Pidge would roll their eyes and say.
He was the person who had no clue how much noise he was actually making.
He was the person who couldn’t quite grasp that whispering and talking were two different things until he was well into fourth grade. Sometimes distinguishing between yelling and talking were difficult for him.
His entire life, people were always telling him to be quiet: his older siblings, his teachers, his friends, the librarian, his parents, the list goes on and on. But now, no one was telling him to quiet himself.
Lance was doing it on his own.
Shiro was different. Lance knew. He had had his suspicions for a while, but now that Shiro was getting more violent, it was getting harder and harder to believe that he hadn’t been changed by his second stay with the Galra. Maybe Keith had been Shiro’s impulse control, but the possibility of Keith being anyone’s impulse control was laughable.
It first happened when Lance had interrupted the black paladin in the middle of a strategy meeting. There was a flaw in the plan that could have caused Pidge to become overrun if they weren’t paying attention at the exact right moment. He didn’t even realize that Shiro had been talking until the damage was already done.
The Galran arm’s metal fingers were digging into the meat of Shiro’s bicep. There was murder in the dark-grey eyes currently trying to bore a hole through the red paladin. Lance had never before felt so small, so insignificant, and so inconsequential.
That mission had gone by without a hitch. Pidge’s infiltration went effortlessly well, and they were able to avoid the guards that undoubtedly would have caught them otherwise. Lance was feeling pretty good about himself. He was laughing loudly with Hunk about some story that Coran was telling them. Neither of them knew exactly what was being described, but the faces that the Altean was making and the sound effects he was somehow generating had them howling with laughter.
Pidge had come in somewhere in the middle of the story, and they had laid their head on Lance’s lap. They silently thanked him with their eyes and didn’t protest when the red paladin ruffled their already ruffled hair playfully.
Allura entered not long after, and her eyes lit up when she heard Coran’s story. She interjected her own points every few words. Her eyes lit up in pure joy; not even Lance’s cheesy flirting could bring her down.
All good and happy things had to come to an end, however. Lance excused himself to take care of business. Pidge hissed when their head fell to the cushion, its pillow having left. They glared good-naturedly at him as he rounded the corner, a smile still on his face when he ran into a wall of muscle.
Shiro stood in his way, his arms were crossed in front of his chest, with his prosthetic in front. That was new. Usually, his other arm hid the metal one from view as if he were ashamed of it. His face was as hard as the metal posing as flesh.
The black paladin was taller than the others by a few inches at the most -excluding Pidge- but now, Lance felt like he needed to look two feet above himself just to look the team leader in the eyes.
“Lance! You’re just the person I was looking for!” His voice wasn’t normal. It wasn’t robotic, but the enthusiasm seemed incredibly forced and insincere. The casual ups and downs of his voice were the same, but they still weren’t right.
Lance kept the smile plastered to his face from his time with the other paladins. “Yeah, I just need to run to the restroom really quick; I’ll be right back!” He pushed past Shiro. The hallways were tight enough as it was without a giant from one of Coran’s stories blocking his way.
The Galran shot out and grabbed Lance’s upper arm, squeezing tightly and pressing him up against the wall.
“Shiro? Can this wait for like, two minutes? I really gotta pee.” Lance raised an eyebrow at the older man.
Fingers dug further into Lance’s arm, and the tips of his fingers started to tingle slightly. “I just wanted to thank you.” Shiro smiled, but the motion didn’t reach his eyes; it barely even reached his mouth. “For graciously interrupting me during the meeting. We never would have been able to spot such an obvious and vital problem if it weren’t for you.”
Lance’s dark blue eyes widened slightly. “Oh, sorry about that. I’ll be honest I wasn’t listening that closely because I saw-”
“Oh, my mistake,” Shiro said. His voice was dripping with something that Lance couldn’t quite identify. “If you weren’t paying attention, I guess all is forgiven.” His grip hadn’t let up slightly since they started this conversation, and Lance’s hand was beginning to go numb at an alarming rate.
He smiled shyly back at the leader. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, and I really don’t mean to cut this conversation short, but unless you want me to go right here, and right now, I really need to use the restroom.”
“Don’t let it happen again,” Shiro spat. He curled the metal fingers deeper into Lance’s muscles before he released it.
Feeling came back to his arm as blood rushed to where it was supposed to be. It felt like he had dipped his entire left arm in near-boiling water for a split second and pulled it out just as fast, burning hot then freezing cold. He massaged the area that Shiro’s hand had dug into as he made his way to the communal toilets.
As soon as he was finished, he rolled his sleeve up to expose the flesh that was already starting to darken from a light brown to a dark black. He hissed as he felt around the tender skin gently.
It was in the precise shape of a handprint.
The door swung open, and Hunk stuck his head into the room. “Oh, there you are!” He laughed. “We were starting to wonder if you had gotten lost.” He went to the sink right next to Lance’s to wash his hands. “I tried to give Pidge a piggy-back ride because Allura and Coran didn’t know what one was, and the little goblin licked me! Not even slightly. There was so much tongue and saliva involved. I am even more terrified of them than I was at the Garrison.” He raised his eyes to look at Lance through the mirror. “Woah, where did you get that?” He gestured vaguely with his chin toward the fresh bruise.
Lance quickly rolled his sleeve down and wracked his brain for an explanation other than ‘Shiro went Alpha on me’ and settled on: “Oh, during the last mission I had a little run-in with a guard. He caught me a little unaware. That’s all.” He threw one of his award-winning smiles in the mix as well.
Hunk pouted his lip out slightly and looked skeptically at his friend in the mirror. “Why didn’t you say anything? That looks pretty rough.”
“It’s nothing. I’m sure I’ll be fine soon enough.” He smiled and slapped Hunk’s shoulders. “Now what do you say we show the Princess and Coran what a real piggyback ride looks like?”
Things weren’t fine soon enough. During training sessions, Shiro would hit him a little too hard a little too often. The handprint on his arm had taken two weeks to heal. For those two weeks, he had trouble aiming his bayard, and it showed. He almost hit Pidge rather than the console that he was supposed to be hitting. He did hit Hunk instead of a training bot one day.
Shiro hit him harder, more often.
Once, when Lance found himself on the ground, he pushed himself up and felt something in his chest snap. A broken rib, he was told.
He really should take it easy on those missions, and not get himself hurt.
It became rare to see Lance without any blemishes on his once pristine and perfect skin. He never wore short-sleeved shirts anymore, not that he had in the first place, but he started making sure that that’s all his wardrobe consisted of anymore. He asked Coran for concealer after he ‘ran into a doorframe’ and he was cursed with a black eye.
Pidge just rolled their eyes because ‘they knew he was clumsy, but this is a new level, Lance.’
One by one, they all slowly stopped noticing every new injury that Lance was sporting.
One by one, they stopped noticing how Lance would never speak at team meetings anymore.
One by one, they stopped caring.
And through it all, the hurts, the bruises, and the false smiles, Lance stayed quiet.
Thank you so much for reading this; I really hope you like it!
Here’s the song that this was based off of, but seriously, hit them up to listen to them singing it. You won’t regret it.
I stayed quiet
I didn’t tell a single soul
I stayed quiet
And its the truth I hold
I let you bruise me
I let you break
And I stayed quiet
With the force it takes
I didn’t want to sully
Ruin your good name
So I stayed quiet, once again
Oh, I stayed quiet*
I made it my place*
I stayed quiet*
Even though it was fake*
I stayed quiet*
Ruin my name*
I stayed quiet*
From all the things I could say*
I stayed quiet*
Oh, I stayed quiet*
Yes, I stayed quiet*
Oh, I stayed quiet*
You ask me why* I stay quiet*
Is cuz I-I* had to deny* it
If I did it, I would end up
Like that girl, you left*
Buried in the dirt*
I stayed quiet*
Yes, I stayed quiet*
Oh, I stayed quiet*
Yes, I stayed quiet*
I stayed quiet
Didn’t ruin your name
Didn’t sully your fame
Didn’t take the blame
I stayed quiet
And in return
All I do is get hurt
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Favorite langst blog(s)?
There are so many incredible langst blogs and throughout these past few months I’ve talked or interacted with quite a number of amazing people.
@langstwhynot She’s basically my sister (but if you ask her she’ll tell you i am her mother but i am NOT THAT OLD) her fics hit every piece of my heart.
@syiqah97 We have so much in common and I fucking love that. They haven’t been writing for long but i am living for them.
@prettygoo-d is one of the most underrated fic writers. Their fics never seize to hurt me and i love it.
@icypantherwrites Her fics water my plants and cure my depression.
@lovelylangst Langst Royalty, what more can i say?
@langsty-mc-langstface Their daily dose of hell is what i live for
@prince-yoongi God… Your one shots are to die for…and that’s putting it lightly
@blueplanettrash No. Comment. Absolute fucking Star.
@langsty-langst-lance Their prompts are so fucking well written, I can’t emotionally handle them
@why-not-langst-haha-kill-me fuck… yesss… YESS.
@king-of-langst A Rising Star. Need i say more?
There are sooo many more, but these are the one i got used to seeing. My day is made every time one of them posts a fic/one-shot.
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