#ma'am i'm already gay

[blackbird-brewster]

jeezus christ

From Aisha's IG story (09/08/23)

[blazingblorbos]

wh=

what

what the hell was that!?

[mmoodd-jobutupaki]

Pov: Singapore, where you're more likely to find a homophobe than a racist

[firewasabeast]

prompt: im not gay, but my husband is.

(I loved those scenes in 911 and lonestar where they only wanted the straight white guy to work on them, so I think it would be funny happening with married, bi buck!)

“No, I don't want you touching me.”

They'd been sent on a call to a woman's residence. She had fallen in her driveway on the way to her car. From the moment they pulled up, trouble had started. She didn't want Hen touching her, wouldn't accept help from Chimney, and the second she spotted Diaz on Eddie's uniform she stopped him.

“Well, you're a straight, white man, Bobby,” Chimney said with a smile. “You wanna take the lead?”

“Wait,” Eddie put his hands on his hip, “do interracial relationships matter to you too?” he asked the woman. “Because, if so, Bobby's out.”

She looked around at everyone in a panic. “You!” she exclaimed when her eyes met Buck's. “You can do it, right?!”

“Yes, I am capable of placing a splint on your leg,” he said with no enthusiasm as Hen handed over the splint.

He bent down to get started but she held her arm out to stop him. “You're normal, right? You're not married to someone,” she glanced up at Bobby, “different, are you? Not gay or anything?”

“Oh, no ma'am, I'm not gay,” Buck assured her, before adding with a flash of his ring, “my husband is though.”

“Y- Your what?”

“My husband.”

“So you are gay?”

“Ma'am, please don't get him started,” Hen begged. “He will not shut up once he gets going.”

“There are actually some people that believe bisexuality doesn't exist,” Buck began, waving a finger to emphasize his point. The groans from the rest of the 118 didn't detour him. “It has been proven to cause mental health issues for people who identify as such, and in extreme cases-”

“Okay, okay,” Bobby interrupted, patting Buck's back a couple of times to get him to stop. “This lady is very clearly “in distress” and we should be focused on helping her.” He stared over at the woman, “If she'll let any of us.”

“Can't you call another team or something? One that isn't filled with minorities and heathens?”

“The 112?” Hen suggested.

Eddie shook his head. “All women crew today.” He looked down at the lady, “I'm guessing you wouldn't like that?”

“They're just not as capable as men,” she whined.

“143?” Chimney asked.

Buck stood back up. “With Captain Garcia?”

“No!” She yelled.

“217?” Eddie offered.

Buck perked up at that. He smiled at the lady on the ground. “You'd get to meet my husband!” he exclaimed. “He's working ground ops today. I could call him, give him a heads up?” He bent back down to the woman's level. “He is the gay one though.”

The woman groaned before pushing herself up and grabbing her purse, jerking away at Buck's attempt to help. “You know what? I'm just gonna take myself to the hospital,” she said as she started to hobble away.

“Say hello to Dr. Cohen for us,” Bobby said, sending her off with a wave. She let out one more angry yelp before getting into her car and slamming the door.

*****

Tommy had gotten home about an hour before Buck, already dressed in a white button down shirt tucked into black dress pants for dinner reservations they had that night.

When he heard the sounds of Buck's car door shutting, he headed to the front door and opened it, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hey you,” he said with a smile.

Buck smiled back, dropping his duffel the second he reached the porch. He immediately wrapped himself around Tommy, surprising him with a kiss that elicited a moan from him.

“I got to call you my husband at work today,” Buck explained between kisses as Tommy gripped his waist. He led Tommy backward into the house, kicking the door shut behind him. “Twice.”

Tommy breathed out a laugh, pulling back just enough to look into Buck's eyes. “This was your first shift back after our honeymoon,” he reminded him. “So you lasted, what, twelve hours into your workday before mentioning me?”

Buck shook his head. “It was our first call of the day,” he informed him. “More like two hours.”

Tommy hummed, running his hands up and down Buck's waist. “Your whole team owes me double then,” he said before pressing a gentle kiss to Buck's lips.

It was Buck's turn to pull back this time. “What are you talking about?”

“They were taking bets on how long it would take for you to mention you were married. I said it'd be less than twelve hours, and you'd mention it more than once. Wait-” He paused, then gave Buck's waist a squeeze, “did you mention bisexual erasure?”

Buck sighed, his shoulders slumping. “It's an important topic, Tommy!”

Tommy simply smiled. “I hit the jackpot, Babe.”

“You placed bets on me?” Buck asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Mhm,” Tommy replied. He shrugged. “I won like five hundred dollars.”

Buck's eyes darkened at that. In one quick motion, he turned them and shoved Tommy against the door, pawing at his shirt to get it untucked. “That's so hot,” he moaned, smashing his mouth against Tommy's in a sloppy kiss.

They never did make their dinner reservations.

[hotvintagepoll]

LAST POLL OF ROUND 6

Propaganda

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

Lauren Bacall (To Have and Have Not, The Big Sleep, Key Largo)—"Just put your lips together...and blow" excuse me ma'am i'm briefly going to turn into a kettle. She's the quintessential Femme Fatale who may betray me in the end but I'd let her it'd be worth it

This is round 6 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

Lauren Bacall:

"She is soooo neat. And hot. And everything. That one scene in To Have and Have Not where she says "you know how to whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and blow" altered my brain chemistry during media archaeology class and here we are."

"The VOICE, the SLINK, the EYES. Woof."

"Lauren Bacall was a major lesbian awakening for me. Every picture of her makes it look like she’s about to destroy you physically and emotionally (why is that so hot, I may need help). She had incredible long running chemistry with her husband, Humphrey Bogart, but was an absolute star in her own right. I’ll never be over my crush on her."

"She's got that confident, no-nonsense air about her. She's a boss babe who knows what she wants and gets it DONE. Staunch liberal Democrat her whole life. Campaigned for RFK. From Wikipedia: "In a 2005 interview with Larry King, Bacall described herself as "anti-Republican... A liberal. The L-word". She added that "being a liberal is the best thing on Earth you can be. You are welcoming to everyone when you're a liberal. You do not have a small mind."" Beautiful hair. Beautiful eyes. Beautiful lips. She's just beauty. LISTEN TO HER VOICE. TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF."

[artificial-transmutations]

Finally Together

When Jerry called, I could immediately tell something was very wrong. He was holding an ice pack up to his face and looked deranged overall.

"Jerry? What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh, hey. Yeah. This." he pointed at his face. "That's a long story."

"Let me see!" I demanded. You see, Jerry was, most definitely, my bff - my very best, very gay friend. And he had a talent for getting into trouble, sadly.

He slowly lowered the ice pack and I gasped. His right eye was swollen shut, and his face was covered in bruises.

"How..."

"Well, there was this guy. He was kinda hot, and totally my type, but, you know, straight as an arrow. At least *now* I know that." Even despite his bruises, Jerry raised his eyebrows in the cutest way possible - one of the traits I admired about them.

Yes, I should mention, I kiiiind of had a tiny little crush on Jerry. Or perhaps a gigantic one. You always want the ones you can't have, right? In my case, I was a woman - which was enough to disqualify myself rather finally.

"...and? Did he hit you?" I asked, even though I already suspected the answer.

"Yeah. I was just talking to him, trying to subtly find out his orientation. You know how it goes. Apparently, I wasn't too subtle about it, though, and he kind of escalated all over my face. It's no big deal, now I know."

Jerry smiled, but I could clearly see that it caused him pain to do so. It nearly broke my heart.

"It is a big deal." I answered. "That's horrible. You are worth so much more than this. Where did it happen? Did you call the police?"

"It was in the gym. Keith - that's the guy - works there, so, I guess, I need a new gym." Jerry joked. "And no, I didn't call the police, it's just... it's alright, okay Mathilda?"

I was not convinced but decided to let it go. Jerry was just a so sweet and innocent guy, he wouldn't even cause someone trouble if that someone punched in his face. I, on the other hand, was fuming. That was not a way to treat my bff! I would have really liked to kick that Keith's ass right now.

I chatted a bit more with Jerry before he had to go and promised him to come over that evening.

To be quite honest, I didn't plan to do anything, but when I was walking to Jerry's apartment in the afternoon, I passed his gym. I didn't even know it was on the way, because I honestly never paid attention to it much. But now that I saw it on the way, I couldn't help it. I would go in there and just tell the manager that one of their employees was a homophobic asshole. Just a little push in the right direction.

I entered the gym. It looked quite standard, but I couldn't see any manager or anyone else to talk to, for that matter, so I just went in there. It was quite empty, which was not surprising at this time of the day. There was, however, a young, muscular man doing push-ups. It was quite disgusting, actually, with all the sweat dripping down his body and a musky, penetrant smell was filling the room.

He stood up and greeted me.

"Hi, there. You're not a member, are you?"

"I'm not." I said. I felt like adding a "sorry" or something but decided against it. Instead, I clutched my handbag tighter.

"So, what can I do for you, ma'am?" He had that smug grin of an urge driven man who seemed to undress me with his gaze. I shuddered in disgust, but still, I straightened my back.

"Well, actually, I'm here to make a complaint."

"A complaint? About what?"

"Your staff."

"Oh? Do you have an issue with someone working here?"

"Well, yes. I just learned that one of your trainers, Keith was the name, I think, assaulted a customer. That is a terrible way to treat people, and I will not stand for it."

The guy laughed and flashed me a superior grin while he nonchalantly readjusted his groin. Free balling of course. Ugh. Can you spell 'toxic masculinity'?

"Look, honey. Whoever told you that, they lied to you. Keith would never hit a girl, especially not a pretty one."

I felt my face reddening from anger.

"First off, I'm not your honey, and secondly, it wasn't a girl but a guy."

The guy raised his eyebrows. "Really? A guy, huh?"

"Yes. He is my very good friend, and it's not funny at all."

"Hmm. Yeah, I think I remember the guy, some fruity fag who needed to be told a lesson."

Then it dawned on me. The disgusting guy in front of me was the man that had hurt Jerry.

"You're the one who did it! How dare you!" I exclaimed and tried to slap his face.

Before I could land a hit, though, he grabbed my wrist with an iron grip and grinned like a predator.

"Ah, ah. I wouldn't try that, if I were you. Would be a shame, if something were to happen to your pretty face, too."

I withdrew my hand and trembled from disgust.

"Ugh. You're just such a disgusting... jock."

In hindsight, I had no idea what happened, but perhaps some benevolent spirit or sprite was listening. In any case, Keith all of a sudden got a really strange expression on his face and looked really pale for a moment. And then... he suddenly looked even paler, like white paper or cloth. I will never be able to forget the expression of surprise on his face, as his body kind of... collapsed in on himself. His muscular torso diminished, and his arms and legs twisted and fused into thin rubber strips. But his face... His face contorted into a white fabric pouch that was completely devoid of any features within seconds. It had only taken a few moments, but Keith had disappeared.

I looked around first, but nobody else was in the gym right now. I carefully stepped closer and inspected what was left of Keith. Inside his black, damp gym shorts that was lying on the ground, I could see a pair of men's underwear, I believe it was called a jockstrap: A large fabric pouch held by rubber bands - designed to just cover the genitals, although, judging by the size of the pouch, rather large genitals. Now, as Keith had demonstrated quite clearly just a few moments ago, he had certainly not be wearing any underwear - and I had seen what had happened to his face.

With pointed fingers, careful not to touch the damp gym shorts and almost gagging from the strong smell, I picked up the piece of underwear. I had almost thrown it away again, when I noticed that it, too, was covered in sweat and stink. However, the piece of underwear that had once been a man held a strange fascination to me. I lifted it up to my face, to have a closer look, but didn't consider the consequences. When I breathed in, my nose was filled with the overwhelmingly strong and manly smell of sweaty, unwashed genitals, and it triggered something inside of me. All of a sudden, I felt tingly all over and groaned. My body felt weird all of a sudden. It was like that disgusting smell was all around me, enveloping me, pushing me to... change, somehow.

In horror, I felt my feet swelling up in my shoes. It wasn't painful, but it felt like I had been wearing boots that were way too small. The pressure was quickly getting unbearable and painful until my canvas shoes and thin socks couldn't take it anymore. First on the left and then, shortly after, on the right side, the toes of massive feet burst out from the footwear. The pressure subsided, and it felt fine again.

The changes didn't stop, though. Now that my feet had broken free from their restraints, my legs were the next to follow. A ripping sound heralded the death of my tights, as my legs gained mass and muscles. It looked almost comically how the threads of my tights were ripped apart, strand for strand. At the same time, I watched, as my hands grew larger. Gone were my delicate fingers, replaced by thick sausage-like appendages. Those new finger weren't carefully manicured but instead, I was now sporting short, ugly nails that would have been fitting for a lumberjack, rather than a girl.

While my legs were still growing, and I was getting visibly taller, my arms were next to follow. My blouse didn't even stand a chance as the arms did not only grew longer but most importantly, stronger. My biceps swelled like I visited the gym every day and, to my horror, I saw a tattoo forming on my right arm that reminded me a lot of the one Keith had had. I didn't have much time to think about it, though, as a new force practically ripped my blouse apart: My torso was pushing outward in all directions. My shoulders widened considerably, and my bra snapped from the strain. At first, I thought my boobs were growing, but it was quite the opposite. They were receding into my body, being replaced by even more massive and decidedly male pecs. Below them, a ripple went through my stomach, leaving behind the cobblestone road of abs.

The changes had met up at my midsection now and I was afraid of what was going to happen next. Sure enough, my skin-tight summer trousers bulged forward as something pressed against them from the inside.

"No..." I groaned, with a lower voice than I was used to, and tried to push whatever was appearing back into my midsection, but it was no use. With another ripping sound, a penis emerged from between my legs, quickly followed by a pair of testicles that pushed the ruined trousers down and settled in between my tree trunk-like thighs.

My head started swimming. That was wrong, that was so wrong. But the changes just went on. An Adam's apple formed in my throat, further lowering my voice, and my face reformed. It became squarer, and my jawbones became more pronounced. At the same time, my beautiful long hair receded into a short masculine cut. However, as hair disappeared on top of my head, it grew elsewhere. Or, should I say everywhere. Disgusting, wiry body hair grew in on my arms and legs and even on top of my enormous feet and the back of my hands. My chest was coated by a layer of short and coarse hair, and a treasure trail led down my midsection, where it disappeared into a thick pubic bush.

Speaking of bushes, two more formed in the large area of my armpits. Ugh. I was hairy like a fucking monkey. The only well-groomed bit of body hair was on my face, in the short beard that I could see in the gym mirror.

I could hardly believe my eyes. Staring back at me from the reflection was no one else but Keith. *I* was a splitting image of Keith now, only naked aside from the tatters of my clothes. I wanted to scream, but all that came out was a low grunt.

Okay, Mathilda, no reason for panic, I told myself. I would just... Go see a doctor. Yes. There had to be an explanation. This could be treated.

I took a step towards the exit and stumbled over the remains of my coughing. Oh, right, I was still naked.

The only piece of clothing was Keith's gym shorts. Well, his gym shorts and Keith himself, who was a piece of underwear now. I looked between the shorts and the underwear. On the one hand, I really didn't want to wear what had just been Keith, but on the other hand... I certainly wasn't going without any underwear. Everyone would be able to see the outline of my current genitals. Yuck.

So, lacking other options, I pulled on the white piece of underwear. It was, unsurprisingly, very sweaty, and it clung to my junk. I grimaced, but it was better than the alternative. My ass was still largely uncovered, but that was not as bad as the front side. I had to admit that my new equipment filled out the pouch pretty well.

I quickly shook my head and pulled on the gym shorts as well. It felt weird not to cover my chest, but that was probably acceptable in my current state.

Perhaps I could ask Jerry if I could borrow some men's clothing from him.

Oh my, Jerry. He was probably waiting for me. I grabbed my handbag and fled the gym.

Walking felt weird. Of course, regardless of my looks, I was still a woman, so I took small steps and refused to spread my legs too much while walking. It was very awkward. The sun was shining down and although it wasn't all *that* hot, I found myself starting to sweat. How disgusting was that? It was like those stupid mountains of muscle were producing so much heat that my skin was soon glistening with sweat and my armpits started to smell. I tested it by lifting an arm and taking a whiff. Ugh. I needed a shower, badly. I probably would be able to use Jerry's.

Jerry... I saw his face right in front of me in my mind. The cute smile, the adorable brown eyes, the cute little dimples on his cheeks when he grinned.

A strange feeling came over me from my groin area. What was going on down there? When I looked down, the ample bulge of my cock had become even bigger, probably tenting out the pouch that had been Keith's face. I groaned. Men were so primitive. All it took was one sexy thought and bam, erection.

Still, I couldn't deny that it felt pretty good. I checked it anyone on the street was looking before I felt the outline of the cock through the layers of clothing with my big hand. The touch made me moan, and I felt my member throb.

That's when I experienced the weirdest feeling. As the sweat from my groin mixed with the fluids seeping out of the cock head and were absorbed by the jockstrap, all of a sudden, I felt the presence of Keith - the real Keith. It was like a strong mental attack, to get his body back, but I fought back. It was not *his* body, it was mine, even though it may have looked like Keith right now.

It was the strangest experience. I could practically *feel* his thoughts and emotions. The humiliation from being wrapped around, well, *my* cock and balls, I could even taste and smell an echo of what he was tasting and smelling, including the weird taste of precum that had mixed into the face-pouch recently.

It wasn't easy, but I repelled Keith's mind and kind of stuffed it back into the underwear. When I continued my walk, I didn't even notice that I know walked like a man: With long, powerful strides and enough room for my balls.

Luckily, my cock had calmed down a bit by now, and I ran the rest of the way, just to make sure. I was glistening with more sweat when I finally arrived at Jerry's apartment and rang the bell. Ugh. That musk was so bad, I just hoped I could hop under the shower right away.

However, when Jerry opened the door, we were both stunned for a moment. I because Jerry looked even better in reality than when I imagined him. Foreign hormones flooded my system, coming from my balls and I just stood there for a moment. Of course, I had a crush on Jerry before, but right now, in this moment, I realized for the first time that now, Jerry wasn't quite as unreachable as before.

Jerry, on the other hand, backed away, an expression of fear on his face.

"Keith, what... Is this some kind of joke?"

I was taken aback by his reaction.

"No! It's not... It's me, Mathilda!"

"Who?"

"Mathilda, your best friend."

Jerry stared at me, confusion on his face.

"What are you talking about Keith? Wasn't it enough for you to bash my face in? Do you want to humiliate me now?"

"No, please. Listen, Jerry, you're my friend, and I would never hurt you."

He scoffed. "Oh really? My black eye says otherwise."

I could feel myself getting upset from all the testosterone and took a deep breath.

"I can explain. Please, Jerry, hear me out."

He looked at me skeptically.

"Fine. I'll listen."

With that, he let me into his apartment.

"Okay, first of all, can I take off these gym shorts? They are really really disgusting and sweaty, and they are clinging to my legs. Yuck!"

"Uh, oookay." Jerry looked even more confused but allowed it.

Gladly, I got rid of the stinking shorts and threw them at the ground, far away from me. Jerry frowned but was apparently more captured by my now only jockstrap-clad body that I sat down on his couch. I admit I wanted to get rid of the jockstrap, too, but then I would have been completely naked in my friend's living room.

The thought was oddly exciting, and I felt my cock raise in reaction.

I just hoped that Jerry wouldn't notice my state of arousal, even though there wasn't much fabric left to hide it, but I quickly spoke.

"So, Jerry, it's really me. Remember the time when we watched Star Trek: Voyager and had a pillow fight, and you beat me easily, even though I am taller and stronger?"

"How would you know about that, Keith?" Jerry crossed his arms. He had obviously noticed my midsection problem, which was throbbing now, leading to another wet spot on the piece of underwear.

"I'm telling you, I am Ma..."

Suddenly, I grabbed my head. There it was again. Keith had reacted to my arousal and was fighting for control of *my* body again. It was weaker this time, though, and although it took me a few moments, I pushed him back between my legs, where he belonged.

Finally, I spread my legs, man-spreading without even thinking about it and giving the whole world in general and Jerry in particular a good view of my massive groin. A smirk formed on my face. Having such a big cock was something to be proud of.

"...Mathilda." I finished my sentence, although I found the name rather unfitting for a stud like me. "I just kind of... transformed into Keith's body, but it's still the same old man as always. Woman, I mean."

"Uh... what?"

I smiled and stood up, slowly, so he could see all the muscles I had gained. I was taller, too, taller than Jerry even.

"But tell me, do you like what you see?" My cock was throbbing like mad now. God, I needed to have this man!

"Uuuh... uhm... yes? Yes."

I chuckled. "Well, Jerry. I don't know how to get back to my original body yet, but do you want to... touch this one?" I gently took his hand and placed it on my chest.

Jerry didn't react at first, but then he started caressing my chest. It felt great, and he moaned, too.

Another small spurt of precum spilled into my underwear and again, Keith acted up. It was even weaker this time, and I had no trouble staying in control. I did notice something else though. Apparently, Keith was enjoying this a lot, way more than a straight man should. He was almost addicted to my cock fluids by now, and he mentally lapped at my organ submissively. And he exhibited a longing for Jerry that appeared to be too deep-rooted to have developed recently. Well, good for him, because as my jockstrap, he would have a front row seat in what happened next.

"Mathilda, is it really... okay?" Jerry asked, barely being able to restrain himself.

"Yes Jerry." I said while looking into his eyes. "It's more than okay. It's perfect. And it's Matthew from now on, okay?"

I took a deep breath, breathing in my wonderful musky smell, and I watched Jerry do the same. And when I kissed him, I couldn't wait to tear his clothes off and plow his cute little ass with my mighty cock while my lucky jockstrap was watching.

[drenosa]

One rare lazy day in Vacuo

Yang: *Bored out of her skull, reading a "Teen" magazine*

Weiss: *Enjoying her simple healthy breakfast salad*

Ruby: *Enjoying her not-so-healthy breakfast cereal*

Blake: *Catching up on her "literature"*

Yang: *Perks up on reading a topic* "Just how gay are you and your partner? Take this simple test and find out!"

Weiss: Please no, I just want to finish breakfast.

Yang: *Ignoring her, turning to Blake* Wanna take this test with me, Blakey?

Blake: *Closing her book, raising a skeptical eyebrow* You do know we have no need for such a test, right?

Yang: We don't?

Blake: We don't. And I can prove it. *Puts away her book and stands up* Stand up.

Yang: *Already standing, curious* Okay...

Blake: *Walks over, standing close to Yang, their height difference evident as she looks up at the blonde* Now, on your knees.

Yang: *Wide-eyed in shock* Uhm, wha-what?!

Blake: *Touches Yang's jawline* On. Your. Knees.

Yang: *Knees buckle, thudding on the floor* Okay...

Blake: *Now looking down at the blonde, eyes bright in delight and with a wicked grin* And that, my dear girl, that is how gay you are. Understood?

Yang: *In need of clean underwear* Yes, ma'am.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: *In despair as she holds her hands in her head* I just want one, ONE, simple morning without my breakfast being ruined.

Ruby: *Still shoveling her cereal* Meh, I'm over it.

Weiss: Ugh... I should go join JNPER (Jaune, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Ren). Surely they're... normal compared to whatever these two are doing all day.

Ruby: Probably best if you didn't.

Weiss: Pray tell, why?

Ruby: Oscar, and by extension Ozpin, is mostly busy with Theodore and other high-ranking huntsfolk for whatever business is most pressing but the rest... *Slightly cringes as she weighs whether or not she should tell*

Weiss: Ruby. Tell. Me!

Ruby: *Sighs, shrugs and spills the proverbial beans* They're probably banging right about now.

Weiss: ...

Ruby: Yeah... after our return from the Ever After there was this whole thing where Ren and Nora wanted- Needed more like- to reconnect and reconcile with Jaune. Emerald was just desperate looking for a place to belong. Anyway, long story short, they're likely banging right now.

Weiss: *Thudding her head on the table* My fucking friend group is a Gods damned mess!

Ruby: I'm still traumatized from walking in on them, but you don't hear me complain. Nora's way more flexible than you'd expect.

Weiss: *Whinging into the table surface* UUUUUGH...

[sentientsky]

ma'am please i'm already gay enough

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH37

Ma'am, that down there is a crocodile. That's just a croc.

It's like watching someone poke a wasp's nest for fun.

You know, when in contrast with Kabru, Laios' utter inability to correctly judge people and their reactions is ten times funnier.

Kabru is really here tilting his head to the side like a dog trying to figure out a puzzle, but what he's actually attempting to comprehend is whether Laios is playing 4d chess or whether he's really that stupid.

And boy. The answer may not surprise you at all.

Gotta love how ride or die Chillchuck is. He complains the most, but as soon as he's on the fire he's like 'well, I guess I'm sticking with these idiots until the very end'. Marcille does one (1) illegal magic and he's already planning alibis in this head. Gotta love him.

Really not helping with the suspicious allegations, guys.

Yeah, the cleaners (not you) erased the magic circle (finally) after a long time (almost 24 hours). Thanks in no part to your efforts to extricate yourself from these allegations.

Marcille, it's like you don't WANT to be an evil end-game villain! Come on, I'm rooting for you!

Oh great, now you gotta revive another one.

.......w...wait a minute.

uh ohhh she's not so 'eepy anymore.

Hm. Reasonable. Reasonable responses. I'm--SENSHSI IS THAT MORE ONIGIRI

......can't argue with that. Can't argue at all.That's. One hell of a form .

Guess the dragon can fly now.

Laios, let her have her sparkledog dragon fursona, jeez. Even Senshi knows better than to be judgemental of someone's first furry oc.

(⊙_⊙;) whoop.

ಥ_ಥ She's so cute. I'm so conflicted.

Marcille, girlie, I hate to break it to you, but I think the issue is beyond a bit of confusion. She just crushed a woman like a watermelon against the ground. She's having a bit of murderous fun. It's fine to be into that, we're all gay here, but have some sense, girl. You need a safeword for that.

Yeah, no, Chillchuck has the right idea here.

To that point. Did anyone try to talk to her before attacking? Who struck first? In this instance, we don't know. COULD she be talked down at all?

............why is this giving me pre-trainer world pokemon vibes. Why.

I'm sure you would...

Oof. Right in the brother instinct.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[songbvrd]

ok but i've been thinking more about eddie cheating arc and it actually makes so much sense (aside from just being fucking hilarious that he's cheating on his ex-nun gf he already avoids for two men with the doppelganger of his dead wife)

but here's the thing. eddie has objectively dated women who he has no reason not to like. they're women who are objectively good for him and for his son. ana was a teacher, who christopher loved, who genuinely seemed good with him, and yet, at the prospect of it becoming too real, he abandoned ship (there's other stuff with her, but the show didn't acknowledge that from eddie's perspective, so i'm not referring to it either). with marisol, despite the actress being just objectively bad, there's no reason for him not to want to be with her. she has been cool w his hot and cold behaviour, she's clearly good with chris, and she clearly likes him. and yet, eddie clearly doesn't want to be with her (as evidenced by him constantly asking her to babysit so he can hang out with tommy or buck or kim lmao, literally anyone else).

like, in universe, these are two women who are beautiful, patient and care about his child.

and yet, eddie can't let go of shannon. because eddie doesn't feel the way he's supposed to feel about these women and there's an easy excuse to explain it. he never got over his son's mother. the problem, of course, being that he wasn't actually happy with her either. they were just kids themselves when shannon got pregnant, and for the majority of their relationship, they were avoiding each other. they were constantly fighting/disagreeing and their last encounter before her death was literally her leaving him again (not shannon bashing, i like her, but it's hard to deny that they were dysfunctional as hell, and not actually happy together, despite the fact that they did actually seem to love each other).

but for eddie, if you're trying to avoid reality, what better way to do it than to hide behind 'the one who got away'. a woman who can never prove his hypothesis wrong because she's gone. whilstever he can explain it away as 'it's because of shannon', he never has to confront the possibility that there's another reason why he doesn't feel what he thinks he should feel for these women.

so then he sees shannon (kim). and shannon is his scapegoat. shannon is the reason he can't make it work. so in theory, seeing her again, in his mind, it should "fix" him, right? except, it can't. because he was never actually happy with shannon, and regardless, this isn't shannon. he says he wants to nest, and i do believe that's true, but he also can't go through with something he doesn't really feel, clearly, so he sabotages it. so he's going to throw himself into it, sabotaging his relationship with marisol at the same time.

and when he tries again with kim, and it still isn't working, eddie's going to break down, because there's another reality he has to address. shannon isn't the reason it isn't working. it was an easy excuse to hide behind, but it isn't about her. eddie breaks down, pushes everyone away, struggles to deal with what tthat means for him.

but the truth is, it isn't working because it isn't what he wants. it's what he THINKS he should want. now, obviously, buddie is what i'm getting at here, but this conversation isn't even necessarily about buck. it's about eddie as a whole, and what he's hiding from.

wham bam, thank you ma'am, gay eddie realisation arc season 8.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

I saw a lot of spider!Ellie lately but what about captain america!Abby? (only based on cap movies because fuck everything else)

Abby who was a sick weak child with so many diagnoses she had a book with her medical records

Abby who grew up with a father who was helping people during 2 wars already, and wanting to go and be a nurse on the front lines because she couldn't stand suffering

Abby whose father created a serum to improve his daughter's health and it caught hydra's attention

Abby whose father was killed by nazis just after his serum turned her into 6ft beefcake (we will leave Joel's death for tony stark!Ellie i said what I said)

Abby who instead of going to be a nurse goes over everyone's heads until she is put into army training and eventually sent to fight the war

Abby who proves to be an excellent soldier and a strategist

Abby who drives the plane into the ice to save the world, sacrificing herself

Modern!Cap Abby slowly adjusting to the new world but still having her 1940s manners and incredibly dark sense of humor

Modern!Cap Abby who barks orders on the field and is a shy sweetheart at home

And for the good parts: I feel like the story with reader can go two ways.

Bucky!reader who is her best friend, pining after each other for 100 years (literally)

Bucky!reader who falls from the train and becomes the Winter Soldier, forgetting Abby

"it's hard to find someone with shared life experience" Thank you cap!Abby for confirming your type is "frozen for 70 years, didn't know were on the wrong side, nazi victim"

"(Y/n)?" "Who the hell is (y/n)?"'

"You're my mission!" "Then finish it, because I'm with you till the end of the line"

I swear these stupid movies are so gay and so angsty I remember those lines by heart

And obviously hurt/comfort, Cap!Abby helping Winter Soldier!Reader get memories back so ws!reader can fall in love with cap!abby all over again

MORE PINING

And then they finally break and kiss and the peace is restored and the greatest love story of the century is all over the news

OR

Modern!reader who just can't catch a break and somehow always in Avengers' way when shit hits the fan

"Are you okay ma'am?" "Do you need help ma'am?" "Go back to safety ma'am"

Just cap!abby calling you "ma'am" with her old-fashioned politeness and that serious look because she's working and she is concentrated on her operation

Cap!abby putting her shield in front of you to save you and then carrying you to safety

Cap!abby who starts to lowkey flirt with you but it's so polite you don't notice at first (the classic "we need to stop meeting like this")

cap!Abby who comes to your work and apologises for it because it's literally the only time she had between fighting assholes and bickering with Ellie so she could ask you on a date (she gives you flowers! her dad raised a lady)

cap!Abby who takes you on a date on her harley

she so respectful! so polite! she doesn't kiss you until the end of the second date!

cap!Abby who is very well aware of marvels she could find in the modern sex shops (does she have any shame? no)

cap!abby completely obliterating you and being all shy about it later, a little polite puppy

just fuckin.. abby in that cap costume from the ca:tws that has straps and pockets and the gloves?? don't get me started on the gloves

abby putting the shield on her back

just captain america!abby yk

[thegayeststarfish]

If you start writing fics, can I suggest writing some miss peregrine centric fics, either fluff or angst, as there is no way near enough of it

Teachers Pet

Alma Peregrine x Reader wlw

Warnings: Legal age gap, no others I think?

"Are you paying attention?" Miss Peregrine snaps, she's my history teacher. But the problem is, she's gorgeous and im gay.

"Yes ma'am. I'm paying attention." I respond, her green eyes boring me. Her black hair is in a bun, there's only a few bits of hair it from the wrong hair. Her hair amazes me, the way the bits of blue show in the sun.

After a few seconds she turns back to the board. We're currently learning about 1940. She's always so knowledgeable it's amazing. Her black button up, and skirt. I can't help zoning out into a daydream. Which I'm knocked out of by the bell.

"Miss y/n. Stay behind please." She sounds slightly frustrated, which is terrifying. "Yes ma'am." I still place everything into my bag so I'm ready to leave.

After the last student files out she focuses her attention on me. I'm still in my seat which makes her look taller than me, and oh lord. "Yes miss?" I ask uncertainly, I'm not sure why I'm here, well not a definite reason. "Because miss y/n. I want to talk about you paying attention more. You've been distracted off in la la land. And i need you to focus on class." Her voice sounds so h- professional. So i nod and look down. "I'll let you off this time, but I want your attention Monday, you hear me? Now go on" She finishes. "Yes ma'am."

I'm rushing down the halls, her class is the last of the day. So I go out looking for Jacob. Jacob is one of my best friends. Finally finding him I call out; "Jacob! Wait up!" I wave out to him and he looks over smiling. "Hey y/n, wanna come to my place this weekend?" He offers, he's my friend because he's the only person who's genuinely been my friend without trying to get in my pants. And so I agree.

One hour later

Knocking on his front door I readjust my bag on my shoulder. He offered to have a gaming sleepover. And of course I said hell yea. But when I tell you the last thing I expect happened, it did. And that's when my teacher, Miss Peregrine opened the door.

"Oh hi, Miss? Uhm, what are you doing here?" I'm nervous and it definitely showed on my face. "Because dear, I live here." Oh. Oh my lord. For one, she just called me dear. And two, I'm about to have a sleepover in my teacher crushes house. "Oh? I wonder why Jacob didn't mention you?" I laugh as if it's a light joke. "Well he mentioned you. Come in dear, he's upstairs in his room."

I've never gone up a set of stairs so fast. I burst into if room and in a panicked whisper ask; "Why the hell didn't you tell me Miss. Peregrine lives with you?!" He looks confused for a second before laughing. "I totally forgot that crush you have on-" He's suddenly cut off with a amused look on his face. "Crush on who?" I feel my stomach drop at the familiar voice. I still jump slightly in surprise. "Anyways, I need to talk to you Miss y/n."

I take a deep breath and turn to follow her. She walks at a reasonable pace while I follow. She finally turns into a random room and looks to me as I follow her in. She then closes and locks the door behind me. And to my surprise, she kisses me.

I'm so taken by surprise I stiffen. Her hands are on my face and her lips on my lips. And after a second, I melt into her. Her lips taste like coffee. And she smells like roses and the ocean. And when she pulls away I already miss her. "I've known you liked me since the beginning. You don't zone out dreamily staring at someone you hate." She whispers then kisses me again.

[pupyuj]

secretary gaeul. oh my god.

may you forever be known as the anon who got pupyuj's brain working again...

oh my god, indeed 😵‍💫 secretary!gaeul knows exactly zero boundaries and does not give a fuck about whether or not she will get in trouble for all the things she's doing to you 🤤🤤 she would be so annoying... but let's bring it back! BACKSTORY TIME 👹👹

it all started during the secretary hiring process.. you being you (aka gay as fuck), you were enamoured by gaeul. she was confident, she was intelligent, she was beautiful, she had years of experience to back up said confidence, she was beautiful... but you already said that. and then gaeul being gaeul, she knew exactly what you were thinking 🤭 had you been a man, she would have walked right out of that ginormous office of yours bcs the way your eyes raked her figure up and down was a borderline criminal offense, but you were a cute, sweet, and soft-spoken woman — so of course gaeul made sure she would get the job on the spot 😉 and she did! not only was gaeul beyond perfect for the job, you also wanted to fuck her so there was rlly only one decision to come to when the interview ended ☺️

gaeul took it easy for the first few months. she never made a move, but she did let you ogle at her fine ass as much as you liked bcs she knew it motivated you to get through the day 😭😭 but she would still have like, three of her buttons open on her shirt and wear her skirt a bit higher than what was allowed,,, nobody says anything bcs she's your secretary and they too look at her inappropriately anyway 💀 the only difference is that she allows you, she sends death glares at anybody else who dares to scan her body 😤😤

anyway, gaeul starts coming onto you on a random but very stressful day.. finishing your 6th conference call of the day and feeling like laying on your office couch and rot away, but you still had a job to do so you forced yourself to stay seated on your chair and tap away on your computer,,, then here comes gaeul putting down a cup of coffee on your table, saying something about how you should take a break but you kindly refused her and thanked her for the coffee,, her suddenly taking your jaw in her hand and lifting your head up????? and your brain completely shutting off bcs holy shit did she look even more beautiful up close like this,,, "you're exhausted, ma'am. a few minutes of getting up and walking around won't hurt." she was saying, but you couldn't focus w the way she stared you down like she was about to eat you, and the way her thumb ran across your bottom lip,,

and everything started from there! trust that secretary!gaeul absolutely loves torturing you,, either by wearing her outfits in appropriately, as mentioned before, or by touching you,, running her hand across your back while you're showing her some things on your computer, not-so-discreetly putting her hand on your thigh when you're seated at the couch together discussing things, pressing up against you way too much in the elevator... gaeul knew you were hopeless bcs you wouldn't try to jeopardize your career by trying to fuck your own secretary but see, gaeul did not give a fuck about any of that at all.. so she took it upon herself! 🤭

coming into your office with a mission one day, shaking her head at the sight of you staring blankly at the succulent she bought for you a while ago (she thought it would ease you),, staring blankly bcs you have once again managed to get hundreds of tasks done in record time but now you felt like death,,, "ma'am, you don't have any scheduled meetings for the rest of the morning. you should take a break." gaeul asked, loosening up her necktie, eyes shining with mischief while you massaged your temples, blissfully unaware of the primal look in your secretary's eyes,, "i'm good, gaeul. i still need to take care of a few things here." you sighed, sitting up properly once again and putting your hands on your keyboard,, but gaeul doesn't let you do anything else before she spins your chair to the side, facing her.. stylish blazer off, necktie loose, shirt unbuttoned halfway and oh god she wasn't wearing a bra?!!

"i wasn't really asking," gaeul sitting on your lap and pressing her bare, dripping pussy against your thigh 😵‍💫😵‍💫 then she was grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, only getting herself wetter at the sight of your terrified but tremendously turned on expression... "it'll be worth neglecting a few stupid tasks, trust me." and then she's kissing you 😳 roughly too—biting your lips, tongue all over your mouth, and her hands around your neck pulling you closer—and moans when you pull her skirt up to her waist and grip her ass tightly bcs finally she gets to be fucked by her incredibly cute boss!!!

omgomg putting gaeul on top of your desk.. her legs spread wide open while you're destroying her cunt with your fingers,, and she's moaning like crazy, no doubt some employees walking nearby could hear her 😭 you were completely entranced with the way her pussy sucked your fingers in, and she was surprisingly tight for a fucking slut.. you couldn't resist grabbing her waist and pulling her closer, only fucking her in a more ruthless pace than before and making her bite onto your shoulder and grip your wrist tightly... but she wasn't trying to stop you—fuck, she loved the fact that she was being heard throughout the entire fucking floor. she would gladly let you fuck her in a meeting full of other employees if she had that chance! all she ever wanted to be paraded around like the whore that she was by you, so ofc she was going to be as loud as she wants.. and it looked like she you didn't care about her volume anyway, not with the way you were so focused on trying to fuck her stupid...

didn't take long for her to fall apart on your fingers,, coming undone with a squeak, drenching your hand and your desk with her juices and being so fucking proud of it that she grins at the sight of her own cum coating your fingers... sick, sick woman 😵‍💫😵‍💫 but see, you weren't satisfied... now that you had a taste of what gaeul was really like, you can succumb to your temptations and fuck her like you never have before...

"ma'am.. wear this." gaeul says as she opens one of the drawers on your desk and pulled out a thick strap-on. you really don't know how the fuck she got that in there when you were practically glued to your desk, but you didn't care anymore.

mmdfmfdhdj bending gaeul over your desk, pinning both of her wrists above her head with one hand, holding her ass still with the other as you pounded your strap mercilessly inside her walls fuuck 😵‍💫 and gaeul was screaming at this point.. your name, "mommy" which drove you crazy and made you hold her ass with both your hands and ruin her even more 🤭 gaeul was holding onto the edges of the desk for dear life, and fuck she was in heaven... being fucked so good that she was close to blanking out, babbling nonsense as she moans helplessly like a stupid slut, agreeing with whatever you fucking asked her...

"i-i-i'll be a good whore, m-mommy—aghh...! mhmm.. fuck, more.. more...!! this pussy i-is all yours.. ahh..! use me, do whatever you want with me when you need m-me... i p-promise i'll let you fuck me whenever..."

gaeul fucking knew that you had fire in you, but the way you made her feel was so beyond her expectations that she was almost overwhelmed with how strong her orgasm hit her,, gasping for air as she came for the second time, digging her nails on your desk, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head bcs holy shit did you know how to fuck a girl to insanity...

immediately taking off the strap and scooping her arms in your arms,, settling her on your lap and hugging her,, apologizing if you were too rough but gaeul just waves her hand and tells you that it's okay and you should definitely do it again... skhncdchs she would absolutely let you suck on her tits and mark her skin up while the two of you sat there.. maybe she'll even let you fuck her again later, but you did ruin her too good.. no doubt she'll be walking weird if she ever decides to do her daily rounds around the office.. but only if she manages pull herself off your addicting fingers 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[artificial-transmutations]

Army fantasies

The view from the landing plane was absolutely stunning. The tropical island was swimming in the azure ocean like a precious jewel in bright sunlight. It didn't even look that big, but it was surrounded by the whitest beach Mark had ever seen.

"Dylan, this is amazing! I can't believe that this is where we will spend our honeymoon."

Dylan grinned happily. It hadn't been easy for him to book a honeymoon on this island, mostly because the local government didn't exactly endorse gay marriage. It was not recognized here, and, although homosexuality was not illegal, most people on the island frowned upon it.

After landing and collecting their luggage, they stepped out of the airport into the bright light.

"Welcome to our tropical dream home for the next weeks, Mister Taylor!", Dylan beamed.

"Why thank you, Mister Taylor! I'm very much looking forward to it!"

Once they arrived at the hotel, they were greeted warmly by the receptionist.

"Ah, Mr. Taylor and Mr. Taylor! Welcome to our resort! I trust everything went smoothly with your superiors then?"

Dylan nodded. "Yes ma'am. Our leave request was accepted without problems."

"Excellent! We have prepared your suite already. As discussed, you will be living in the same room, sorry for the inconvenience. But we have at least arranged for separate beds."

"Thank you, ma’am, but this wouldn't have been necessary. We're used to sleep in much more cramped quarters back at the barracks.", Dylan answered.

"Haha, yes, I can imagine." the receptionist smiled warmly and handed them the keys.

As the newlywed couple entered the elevator, Mark smiled at Dylan.

"What was that about? And what's with all the ma'am?"

Dylan laughed. "Well, they wouldn't let a gay couple rent their rooms, so I just told them we were soldiers on leave."

"Really? And they bought that? What's with the last name?"

Dylan shrugged his shoulders. "I told them it's a coincidence. To be honest, until the whole thing with the beds, I thought they understood, and it was just a 'don't talk about it' thing. But apparently, they really believe we're soldiers on leave."

Mark snorted. "That's ridiculous! You don't look anything like a soldier."

Dylan chuckled. "Yeah, well, I guess people really see what they want to see."

They got out of the elevator and walked through the hallway towards their new room.

"I hope we get a good view from our window." Mark said.

"Me too. This place looks great."

The room was wonderful: Spacious and clean, with a large bed in front of the windows. A balcony opened up onto the outside world, offering magnificent views over the ocean.

"This is perfect." Mark sighed happily.

"No... We are perfect", said Dylan with a smug grin. "What do you want to do first?"

"Well..." Mark hesitated for a moment, before he pulled Dylan close and kissed him passionately. He could feel how horny his husband was and knew that he would need to take care of that soon.

"I think we should start by getting undressed."

The evening was wonderful for both of them and neither of the two happy husbands left their room that day. They had pushed their single beds together and woke up in a tight and tender embrace the next morning.

Mark kissed his husband on the lips the next morning. For some reason, even though they had made love for half of the night already.

Dylan woke up smiling. "Good morning Mr. Taylor". Then, as he looked lower, his smile turned into a grin.

"Someone is eager this morning. What are you thinking about?"

"Well... Would you perhaps up for a little role play?" Mark asked, shily.

"Sure, what's on your mind my love?" Dylan gasped a little as Mark had grabbed his cock through the sheets.

"You know how you told everyone we're soldiers? I can't stop thinking about that. How hot would that be?"

Dylan grinned and nodded, quickly joining in.

"Yeah, I can see that. We're just two army boys, bunking together in the barracks."

Dylan softly took Mark's hand from his cock and guided it to Mark's own.

"Of course, we're straight... At least on paper..."

"No, you're right!" Mark was just so horny, that fantasy really worked incredibly well. "We're straight, really straight. Boobs and all that."

Mark massaged his cock through his pants. Why was he wearing pants? It didn't matter.

"Right. Straight as an arrow. But you know, there are no girls in the barracks, so when we get horny..." Dylan continued while also kneading his hardening cock through his camo pants.

"... Which happens a lot, we're real men after all!" Mark chimed in as his hair became a short buzz cut.

" I hear you, bro!" Dylan quickly got rid of his camo vest, revealing his muscular upper body below it. All the drills had left him a perfect specimen of man, and he knew it.

"There's nothing wrong with jerking off together, right?"

Mark had already gotten rid of his shirt as well and had fished out his own ample dick from his pants. He grunted as he started stroking it and continued:

"Yeah, we're bros after all. Sometimes I even let you suck me off when I need it a lot."

Dylan pumped away at his cock full force now. The room had changed in accordance to their fantasy. No longer were they in a luxurious hotel suite, but more and more, the cheap and practical furniture of a room in the barracks materialized around them.

"Of course, I only suck you off if I can pound your ass afterwards. A hole is a hole, after all, no homo!"

"No homo!" Mark agreed, as he continued to rub one out with his bunk mate. God, it had really been too long since he had some decent pussy. The smell of sex and the slapping noise of his fellow soldier close next to him was good, but he needed the real thing once in a while

"What do you say, strip club on our next leave?"

"You bet!" grunted Dylan, already close to release.

Mark grunted heavily as well, before he came all over his chest, with Dylan following right after.

Mark used a shirt of his to clean himself up before throwing it to his mate, who caught it and used it for the same purpose.

"You know", wondered Mark, "sometimes I think those fags have it all figured out. They can have all the sex they want and don't have to deal with chicks."

"Yeah..." answered Dylan slowly. Somewhere deep inside, he wanted Mark to be more than his bunk mate and occasional fuck body, and he was pretty sure Mark was feeling the same way. But they were in the army, and they were real men, not some civilian faggots, so, as always, Dylan swallowed everything else he would have wanted to say and stayed silent, like a good soldier should.

[bigdsgirl]

Love Next Door Episode 12

look i had to watch sports and do chores (sigh), but I am HERE now. and i have THOUGHTS. because lovelies, we fucking MADE IT!!!!!!

these two dweebs, just kiss again. <3 with your banana milk <3

god these two are children i am cackling, they cannot admit what is happening!!!! lmfao!!!

seung-hyo is dying and i love it

not him offering her food. DEAD. I will not survive the episode.

and not her being like hey!!! only i get food offered by my man!!

WERE THERE ANY BUGS????? lol omfg.

the way they continue to revert back to their sassy selves each time they transition or deal with wild news 😭😭😭

"I've always been with you" BYE I AM DUST

not the going through their history through small touches. BYE.

okay now smooch. please for the love of god.

NO GIRL not the hair!!! KISS AGJLDGJAFGK

omg he is so happy with them cuddling <3 this man is over the moon.

i will be the using the shot of them on a bench as a background somewhere, mark my words. or it's going to be the center of a bullet journal spread because AHHH

omg mo-eum girl, rock the interview! you got this babe!

as a hiring manager at my work, girl you killlling it

oh hi mr. seung-hyo's dad! and other guy! are we about to brawl? kinda feels like it.

goodness that man is just... so fine. silver/grey hair is gorgeous.

this man is so confused lolw hat is happening

YEAH TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! AND HE CANNOT SWAY HER!

YEAH SHE IS SO PRETTY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE HER???

HAHA OMFG HES GAY! GO OFF KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this. is. a. comedy. i. love. it.

well this changes everything and i love it <3 just two queens that are besties who work together <3

bahaha he's so embarrassed. i'm dying. the GROAN ma'am i love it

finally communicating, i love that. also she has a point! it's not her secret to tell! omg. and he's like "i married a baddie my god" and boy you are right.

omg "mom I'm an influencer now" omg she called it an influenza. I am using that now. ☠️

omg no not the blind date for seok-ryu

i have a feeling it will be the journalist and i will lose it

omfg his FACE when mom asked about the blind date. i will fucking die this is a comedy of the highest tier

cowards!!! you tell your biggest fan!!!

oh she knows. and a superfan would know! go off queen!

WE ADMITTED IT LETS GOO!!!

"I feel like my body and soul is refreshed and massaged" GIRL SPEAK ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!

not the flashbacks with everyone being like YOU ARE IN LOVE!!!!! and Mo-eum just in the background 😭🤭

Not her saying she's out of his league and that's why people never put seung-hyo and mo-eum together I LOVE HER

dear god if yeon-du is not her step daughter by the end of this show, I will be committing crimes of revenge. they are a FAMILY.

HELL YEAH MOM! Yeon-du should be her daughter!!!

ALERT! ALERT! GORGEOUS GREEN SHIRT ON HIM!!!!!!! I AM LOSING IT!!!!!!

he was built to be a dad, i luv him.

"arizona si, chicago no", what in the sam heck are these shirts, hilarious

he says look, i want to scream this from the rooftops that we are together. <3 and boy, I get it.

oh no girl. girl he is planning forever with you. oh no oh no.

oh girl, seok-ryu looks so cute in those PJs!!!

hahah oh girl you are going to regret saying what you said. he says no one can know? got it, 12 feet apart at all times.

oh girl what the fuck why you do that!!!!! that's his phone!!!!

I am glad he is standing up for himself. because i agree, her behavior is not appropriate at all!!!!!!!

movie! date! making out at the movies! lets go!

adventure day with the fam let's freaking do it!!!!!!

are we CAMPING???? YAY! I love a good camping trip!

oh they are such a good team <3 cute cute!

Mo-eum is such a cool cat, i love her

jfc they are such a family already!!! barbecue! water gun fights!

did this show just say trans rights? I am electing yes with the umbrella shot 😎

we love a trip sponsored by electric cars. fancy!

the 🤌yearning🤌

omg the water spot on the shirt hot him bothered! ope! omfg not the giving her his FLANNEL!!!!!!!

my girl looks so good for her movie date!!!! eep!! oh goodie, time for her..... to experience the "no one can know". lol he's working on architecture project, of course. omg everyone is cuddling except them!!!!!!!! WAHH NOOOOOO

what a gorgeous sunset for these gorgeous people. ugh she is the cutest lil kiddo. omg. wait. wait. is it time??? are we gonna.... ya know, talk about it??

WAIT CAT I SAW A CAT!!!!!

god she loves this girl so much, how can you not want her as her step mom?????

holy shit. holy. shit. she said it. SHE SAID IT.

i am stunned. what a beautiful confession. MO-EUM MY GIRL.

yeah let's cancel the agreement!!!! it wasn't a mistake!!!

NEVER???????????? SIR????? 😔

No no no no please, you three deserve happiness and its with each other! please!

god damn it. Now she's gonna take the job in antartica so he doesn't feel bad.

HAHAH the hand reaching. girl just GRAB IT!

LOL the "you go in first"

oh no not the doc visit.

OH THANK GOD ITS NOT ALZHEIMERS! YESS!!!!!!! GOD BLESS!!!!

Due to stress and anxiety??? well I hope that is the case.... I am not a fan of this. hmm hmm hmm.

LOL HES SO HAPPY!!! My lil baby <3 he's such a drama queen.

like father like son :)

oh girl. oh girl. I laugh because you did this to yourself. you asked him not to bring it up!

ope a family dinner oh my goodness. my girl Tae-hui stirring the pot like the queen she is

omg seung-hyo is so nervous and she is SO JEALOUS

these two are children omfg, just communicate

PARENTS OVERNIGHT TRIP????? SO THEY WILL HAVE THE HOUSE TO THEMSELVES???? LETS FREAKING! GO!

love the fanny back good sir

lol them arguing and seok-ryu dying, i feel the same

OH BROTHER IS LEAVING TOO????

oh we about to fuck. shit. up! let's go!!!!!!!!!

the parents being so silly and jealous of each other

oh he GOT THE LENS -- that lens is way too big but i love the enthusiasm lmfao - he STUDIED

GIRL TIME! YAY!

boy call her she might kill you -- i hate to say it

omfg! bestie boy time too!! except these boys need to stop being awkward <3

God bless Mo-eum, she is the truly best friend to both Seok-ryu and Seung-hyo <3

Mo-eum baby you deserve the world <3 i hope he grovels so hard when he realizes how much he mucked up

god this show just nails friendships at all stages, acquaintances, work friends, new friends, new neighbors, long term besties as youth, young adults, later in life. just ALL OF IT!

NOT Tae-hui giving him WEDDING CUPS FOR THE TWO OF THEM??????? A QUEEEEEEEN.

omg he mad a pet house??? for the kitty?? the she saved??? that she is allergic to??? omfg. i am a mess. the baby house he made them, and the upgrade now!!!

WAIT THEY ARE THE BABIES OF THEM??? AHH!!!

SHE WAS HIS FIRST CLIENT!!!! HE MADE IT! FOR HER!!!! WAHHH

date night at the crib! screaming!

he is so happy she was jealous <3 h

he couldnt focus at work??? omfg girl you are wrecking him

"comic books in my room" ooooooo is that what we are calling it now??? heh!!!!

first time in here as a your BOYFRIENNND

he's admitting he went for HER! not the book!

omg he's admitting how nervous he was!!!!!!!

BOY IS IN PANIC MODE FROM DAY ONE!!!!!!!!! WAH!

YAY COMMUNICATION!!!!!!

she said, bad thoughts are fine 🤭 and approved bad deeds? boy we are in it NOW! the DOOR IS SHUT! EEK! THE LIGHT IS OFF? OH HELL YEAH! LFG!

[bengiyo]

The Miracle of Teddy Bear Ep 1 Stray Thoughts

So, @lurkingshan and @twig-tea say this is good enough that Shan was willing to cash in 9 hours of her coupons to make sure I watch it. Let's see if this show has a very good bear.

I still have trauma from Memory in the Letter. That show also featured rare stellar phenomena as the inciting incident.

The bear is the narrator and is named Tofu.

This dog's reaction is totally reasonable.

Whoa Inn Sarin looks different.

"This is the story of a boy...and a bear..."

What in The Brave Little Toaster (1987) is going on??

"You're beautiful. It's a shame you're a thief." Mr. Security Guard, it's not that kind of video.

Potential car violence in episode 1? It's a Thai drama!

Oh, exposition in the action sequence: Nut is a screenwriter.

Ah yes, he was indeed struck by a vehicle. Let's pull out the Thai statistics again.

I have so many questions about the bear's ability to feel dizzy.

Why does The Little Prince pop up so often??

The furniture is talking again, and they experience lust.

I like meeting all of these characters under stressful conditions like this. It reveals a lot about their characters. We know the best friend is protective of Nut, and feels like some kind of manager. This girl maybe has an unrequited crush. Mom is being helpful but weird.

We got payoff from the furniture lust already. Tofu taking off Nut's clothes when he's drunk doesn't read sexual; neither does their waking up together. It's okay for Nut to recognize his good taste in Tofu, and is a nice soft launch about him being gay, and apparently expecting someone named Neung to be there.

I see we have some kind of dad trauma, and Nut and his mom don't get along much.

Damn, the slippers took mom out to help keep Tofu around. Real ones.

Baby's first existential crisis: will I be abandoned by those I love?

I'm very excited about the curious neighbors.

Okay, I like Nut's actors. He's got good control of his expressions.

She has her husband to help her? Um, ma'am?

Hey, it's kinda sad that Nut's tears seem to be what awakens each item. There's a lot of characters in this room.

Well, taking care of the house is going well...

Tofu and Khunchai got real beef. I love it.

I was wondering when he'd notice his he'd was missing

Suddenly: Tee Thanapon.

Does Tofu not know his own backstory?

I'm interested in the age gap potential of the side pair.

I know Tofu better tell Nut who he is in this episode with how long it is.

Oh shit is Tofu connected to someone else who's in some sort of coma? Is it Neung, who possibly gifted Nut Tofu in the first place?

Wait, who is Tarn, and is he the one who was getting defibrillated?

Interesting. So Tofu resembles a senior named Neung.

Wow, excellent work by Job in this flashback. He doesn't look as irritable and stressed, and he has a great infatuated face.

I believe the toy council is going to solve this mystery.

I understand Nut. The feeling of a man who cares about you laying next to you is comforting. He's totally right to kick Tofu out, though.

Okay, there was a lot that happened in this episode, but I actually think this was a really good opening episode of a drama. I have a strong sense of the entire cast so far, and we have some interesting mysteries to unpack. We have the question of Tofu's transformation, his connection to the man in the hospital, the mom claiming the dad is around, why Tofu looks like Neung, who is Tarn, and why do only some items in the house gain sentience? I'm intrigued.