#maggie is tired and should be studying

[sheriffgrimes-archerdixon]

Request: hi Amber I know you did this sort of imagine a while back but I was wondering whether you could do another one? Negan’s entrance scene and everything but make it more angsty if possible? And Daryl being really protective over the reader? Thank you!

Warnings: angst, blood, death, dark stuff, negan being a jerk.

The silence that lingered in the air was terrifying. No words had to be said to make you all realise how much shit you all had gotten yourselves into. The rocks beneath your knees dug into your skin making it incredibly uncomfortable but you knew that was the least of your worries. You were all going to die.

“Your shit, is ours. I know that’s a pretty hard pill to swallow… but swallow it you must” his voice bellowed practically vibrating through your body, you leant forward slightly looking towards Rick… begging him to somehow have an idea on how to slither yourselves out of this fucked up death trap but as soon as your eyes landed on him you realised how his ‘leader’ title had been diminished into absolutely nothing. He was weak, tired, scared but you didn’t blame him. No one did. Fear was evident on everyone’s features, some doing their best to keep it at bay but Maggie was in agony- her forehead covered in sweat, staggered breaths leaving her lips as she seemingly struggled to get a hold of herself. “Please” your words cut through the silence suddenly Negan’s cold eyes moving to slowly look down to you as he allowed Lucille to rest against his shoulder “please..” you repeated once again “we. need. a. doctor” you said as calmly as you could.

He studied you his face remaining bored and unamused before a slight flicker formed in his eyes a smirk tugging at his lips “a doctor? Who for? You? You all look in pretty good shape…” his eyes scanned along the group before stopping at Maggie “oh her, yeah, hell- looks like shit” he breathed out with a laugh and you glared into his soul wishing your eyes could burn some sort of holes into him. He was a prick who needed to be knocked down a few pegs.

“Oh tough crowd I see, hm” he said a fake almost mocking frown forming on his face “come on it’s not so bad! I’m letting you all live!” He exclaimed beaming like he was saying the best thing ever. “Shut the hell up asshole” you spat out angrily and his eyes fell onto you again as he slowly moved towards you “you’ve got some nerve haven’t you, darlin’ you know I could easily kill each and every one of you for killing my men…” he said some sort of anger forming on his face as you stared at him “they deserved it” you said in response, not backing down a dangerous look forming on his face “and so we understand each other better… I do not appreciate you killing my men…” he said slowly moving to stare down at Rick “and also when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people.. you killed more of my people…. Not. cool,” he then slowly moved back along the line to where you knelt “not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is” he said moving Lucille down to rest alongside his leg “now, what’s your name?” He asked staring down at you “not cool” you said smugly, believing he was all words. Simply saying this shit for the fun of it. He let out a chuckle, shaking his head “you’re stupid… I like you.” He seemed to get amusement out of everything that he did, you just wanted to get right up there and punch that stupid look off his face and as if he read your mind a small smirk tugged at his lips “I wouldn’t if I were you,”

You clenched your jaw angrily as negan began parading around “rick, you know, you should really learn how to control your people.” Everyone was trembling, visibly afraid of the man but you tried to stand your ground. Trying your best to stay strong as you glared up at him. “It didn’t have to end like this… but if you don’t follow my rules then I have to hurt your people. This is on you Rick” Negan’s voice was terrifyingly calm. You hated it. Despised it. “Now- who’s the weakest in the group, hm? It’s not you Rick… but I can see… you’re breaking.” He pointed the bat at every individual person and once it got to you, you held your breath gritting your teeth to conceal your heavy breathing as you glared up into his eyes and once he had moved past you you let out a breath you didn’t even realise you were holding but before you could even realise what was happening the bat was directly in your face again your breathing getting heavier as your eyes widened “you…” he chuckled out as tears sprung to your eyes “hopefully, Rick, this’ll teach you to control your people” negan exclaimed as he grabbed you by the back of your shirt

“Don’t fucking touch her you bastard!” Daryl’s voice was suddenly heard as he sprung forward trying to attack negan but he was grabbed and shoved back down. Negan slowly trailed his eyes back to Rick as he held your shaking figure up by your scrawny T-shirt, the shirt was practically falling off of you from how old and used it was. “See, Rick? If you controlled them better then this shit wouldn’t happen now would it?” Negan shoved you down onto the floor as you collapsed to your knees in front of the group, embarrassed, weak… you had never felt so vulnerable. You watched as his shadow lifted the bat up above his head and you squeezed your eyes shut trembling- you didn’t dare beg for mercy but you wanted to… you wished you could but you were terrified. You were soon drawn out of your thoughts as negan let out a laugh “you’re all pathetic… you think I’d really kill her to get back at you? You’re wrong.” He smiled staying deadly silent as he looked down at you your eyes locking with his in fear before he looked at the others “Dwight, put her in the back of the truck. Tie her up.” Negan suddenly spoke and Dwight grabbed you dragging you to the back of the truck as you looked at Rick… Daryl.. trying to ask for help but you didn’t want them to get killed.

Fear consumed you as Daryl’s shouting was heard, your wrists were tied along with your ankles before the truck doors were slammed shut and silence filled your ears up… the only sound being your heavy breathing and muffled talking. You squeezed your eyes shut shaking your head… how the hell were you going to get out of this?

Part two maybe

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Road to Hell - All I've Ever Known Part 5

It was the road to hell

It was hard times

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By the time I made it back to my bedroom, my head was still spinning. It all made sense, and yet didn’t at the same time. But I had gotten my answers, right? Vought wants to control the narrative - of course they wouldn’t want it public knowledge that their superhero serum causes spontaneous heart attacks. If they control Maggie, they can use her device without her research going public. And this way, she becomes good PR for GodU as an added bonus. They didn’t even need to lift her up, just pretend like they discovered her instead of her existing on her own merits. It should have made me feel better - knowing that she wasn’t being artificially boosted in the rankings or whatever. It should have made it easy for me to stop obsessing over Maggie and focus back on my own life.

If I was honest with myself (and I’m usually not), the way she reacted when I brought up Sam changed my mind more than anything she told me in that warehouse. The crack in her facade, a glimmer of truth behind the lies. She’s clearly powerful, and intelligent... Maybe I should be more worried about her being a legitimate rival than a nepotism plant.

But shoulds didn’t matter when she met my eyes across a room - my heart would begin thumping erratically in my chest, and my mouth would go dry. 

We fell into a strange routine, now that we had something of an understanding. She was always awake before me, sitting in the kitchen and sipping coffee when I would come downstairs to go running. We rarely said anything to each other in the mornings, but it was easy. I could feel Maggie let her guard down around me slowly - like the air in the room was getting marginally lighter. We ended up spending most evenings on the porch - she would lay on the couch and read or just scroll on her phone while I smoked. Sometimes we’d talk, but we usually didn’t. 

I started looking forward to it, in spite of myself. Even knowing I had studying or work to do, I didn’t want to give up these few moments of peace that I had managed to carve out in my life. She started bringing songs to share with me. I remember the first time: she seemed kind of nervous that evening, picking at her nails.

Flashback

“What’s up, mouse?” I asked her, flicking my eyes to her briefly before looking back out into the night. It was getting harder and harder not to stare at her - she was absolutely beautiful in the twilight. She still hesitated, chewing her lip for a moment. I almost gave up on getting an answer from her - it was useless trying to pry information out of Maggie, especially like this. But she surprised me.

“I want to play you this song. I think you’ll like it?” She said it like a question, which made me chuckle. 

“Go for it. I’m always down for new music,” I said lightly, trying to ignore the way my heart swooped and twisted at the thought of her thinking of me.

And she was right, I did like the song. And each song she showed me in the following weeks. It was hard to keep her at arms length when she kept seeing right through every wall I put up.

One Saturday morning, I came downstairs to see Maggie looking more tired than normal, staring off into the distance as she stirred her coffee. Without really knowing why, I came up next to her. “Come with me,” I said gruffly, walking towards the door without waiting.

“Where?” She asked, her voice rough with sleep as she stood up.

“Just come.” I said. We walked in silence towards the gym, as I tried to deny the real reason I was doing this. I led Maggie towards the back, into the training room I usually frequent. It isn’t outfitted for powers, but there’s some sandbags and stuff. “Punch something. It might help you sleep.” I said. “S’What I do, anyways.” Then I began my workout, shifting into my smaller form and falling into a rhythm. I put in my headphones but I didn’t listen to any music, listening to Maggie’s rhythm as she began striking the sandbag. Whatever training Park had put her through had worked - she had force behind each strike and an even rhythm. I wondered what it would be like to spar with her - face her in the ring, mind running a mile a minute to out-maneuver her, sweat leaving a soft sheen on her skin, finally pinning her down...

Focus, Li! I thought to myself, starting my workout playlist and putting all my frustration into the sandbag in front of me. I let myself fall into the familiar beat of the music, accented by fists meeting leather. It was easy for me to clear my mind when I trained - sometimes, it was the only thing that could keep me from losing my mind entirely. 

It was raining lightly when we left the gym, an oppressive layer of clouds above our heads foreshadowing a worse storm coming soon. I was hurrying through the rain, trying to keep my hair from being entirely ruined. Having two heads of hair means two sets of curls to keep from frizzing out.

“Wait!” Maggie said, sticking her arm out to stop me, almost clotheslining me. “Careful.” She pointed at the ground, a massive earthworm slithering across my path.

“Did you just stop me... from stepping on a worm?” I asked her, not sure what to make of this. As with most things Maggie does, if I’m honest. But I stepped around the worm anyways, rolling my eyes. 

“When it rains, the worms flee to the pavement. Scientists think it's because the vibrations feel like moles.” She explained, continuing to hop across the sidewalk as if that explained literally anything at all. I hurried to keep up with her, shaking my head in amusement. 

Once inside, I turned to her. “By the way, if you ever need to, uh, train with someone,.” I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “No pressure, of course.” I was cringing at myself as I spoke. 

“I’ll probably take you up on that.” She said, surprising me once more. She smiled at me with that crooked grin that made my heart go erratic. I headed up to my bedroom, trying to suppress a smile. I thought back to the time I saw her training earlier this semester. Watching her figure out how her powers work and utilizing them to gain the upper hand reminded me of my own experimentation with shifting mid fight. Yes, it was Brink who first suggested it, but once I was able to analyze the situation on my own and ascertain the right time to shift, it felt like a whole new world opened up. When we’re able to actually understand our powers and the role they play within the entire encounter, the better we’re able to actually use them.

One of the downsides to growing up in a... volatile home is that you become aware of all sounds and what they mean in your spaces. So I had instinctively removed my headphones when I heard the telltale signs of people gathering in the kitchen. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the usual happy sounds of dinner being made. I heard raised voices - Luke, and Maggie? I knew I shouldn’t listen but I found myself straining to hear in spite of myself. 

“God damn it, Maggie, let it go! This isn’t healthy for either of us.” Luke sounded angrier than I’d ever heard him.

“Isn’t healthy? Luke, what if... I just mean,” She didn’t sound angry - she sounded desperate. “He wouldn’t h-”

“Just stop! We just didn’t know him as well as we thought we did. You have to let this go before it eats you alive.”

“This? He’s our brother - our baby brother. If there’s even a tiny chance...” Maggie took a long deep breath, and I could almost hear her jaw tighten as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

“Stop it! You silly little girl! Maggie, grow up, and face reality: he’s gone. Forever.” I heard him storm off, and I sat back in my desk chair, in shock. Luke was always so cheerful, kind, and careful with others' feelings. But the way he was yelling at his own sister, the way he was dismissing her concerns about their brother - someone I know he loved dearly... it was a side of Luke I had never seen before, and I didn’t like it. My heart was pounding in my chest and the memories of my childhood were tainting everything around me. Laying in bed at night, hearing my parents yell about my problems (read: my powers), fighting with each other about how to deal with me. I was frozen, just like back then, unable to do anything but listen and try to understand. Because maybe if I understood what was going on, it wouldn’t scare me so much. It never worked. 

I still went out that evening to meet Maggie on the porch. Like most nights, we didn’t say much. I didn’t comment on the joint she had brought out with her, and she didn’t comment on the tremble in my hands, and neither of us wanted to go back inside. I knew I shouldn’t mention what I overheard, but I had to say something. 

“Listen to this.” I said finally, pulling up Into the Ocean by Blue October and playing it from my phone. It felt strangely vulnerable, playing this song that had been a comfort to me when I felt so alone. It makes me sound like an emo teen, but to be fair, I was one when I found this song. And it made me feel understood for the first time since getting my powers. I hadn’t ever been the one to bring in a song, but since I couldn’t find my own words, I thought someone else’s might help. 

And from the look in Maggie’s eyes, they did.

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edits by @barbieprincesshilton

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Now that I've released the fic, I figured might as well post this little snippet of me blurping out some writing to figure out how I was going to write Nova and Evie's dynamic and where they'd be similar and different

It's heavily my headcanons and my interpretations of the text we've been given of Maggie and how the two of them interact in canon vs how they eventually interacted in my fic

Was trying to figure out mainly how to get Nova from point A to point B in terms of sympathizing with Maggie, while keeping Maggie as best in character as I could while simultaneously adding characterization I felt would fit

I'll stress that these are BLURBS and since I haven't edited this, it isn't always adjectives and descriptors I'd say fit the best. Lots of keeping things black and white rather than morally gray. Not necessarily because their situation is black and white, but more I was jotting my thoughts down and how I'd make things work

Not everything perfectly aligns with the end fic, but might be interesting addition to read for anyone interested

ig character study? But not polished and edited cleanly:

Nova wanted what she thought was best but stayed on the wrong side

She always thought it was the good side

Evie focused on herself, sticking to the side of good

She always thought the renegades were flawed

Nova defended her close ones till the end. Had a hard time accepting new friends

Evie brushed everyone away. And when the only one that mattered died, she crumpled.

Evie stuck to the side of good since there was some inspiration to do some good. Full in the gaps of her past, pretending to be selfless. Callum was the true selfless one. He saw how Evie was tired of having hope that she'll connect back to her roots.

He encouraged a new purpose for her and she ignored it

And now she can only do what she thinks is best. Stop pretending.

Nova and Evie lost the person that knew them best

Both were on the wrong side.

Both have been hurting

Nova felt like her past actions were a permanent mark on the renegades if she joined.

She wanted to leave but keep in touch. Do good but isolate herself

After all she's done for the person that ruined her life.

But that person also saved her life and knew her best

She could have been to her family's funeral if she hadn't gone with Ace. Made sure her sister's body was found and given a proper send off

She should have noticed the intentions of other anarchists and prevented bloodshed

She should fully pay for her actions. She's failed to avenge her family

But people wanted Nova around. They loved her.

Nova's heart was in the right place and now she can make a change with the support she needs

Evie has been "selfish" in order to survive. She's been alone. She had to give up hope for someone else to come in and name her

Joining the Renegades could have been the Anarchists without Callum who saw her potential

She thought she could try history/artifacts. Look for herself to fix herself

She didn't focus on others

Callum knew her more than anyone. He was selfless. She was not.

Now he's dead. Evie doesn't believe she can be selfless, so may as well fit into the category she belongs. 

And at the very least she can uphold her choice with the realization that the renegades are more corrupt than she thought. No one was as selfless as Callum. They should admit it like she did.

She's been making an effort to isolate herself for so long to protect herself

She's only eleven [Edit: This changed when I figured out timeline stuff. She turns thirteen in the fic]. She hasn't healed. She hasn't had a real family. Ironically something Nova had with the Anarchists

Nova and Evie are two sides of the same coin. Noble intentions on the side of evil and Selfish intentions on the side of good

The bad died for Nova to realize to join the "good"

The good died for Evie to split to the "bad"

Evie hates herself

Nova hates herself

Evie is thirteen years old

Nova's eighteen 

Nova can't fully relate to Evie. But she does see herself in Evie when she talks about the hypocrisy in the renegades. Feeling hurt

But when Evie talks about aligning herself to the side she fits. Nova remembers her discussion with Leroy.

With support, Evie could reach out again. Callum saw potential in Evie. Evie wants to connect again. 

With support, Nova got friends. On a path to actual happiness and resolution to avenging her family.

Nova sees a hurting girl, mad at the world for what it's done.  

Maggie doesn't believe she [Nova] gets it. She had family in the anarchists

Nova talks about the disconnect she felt too. Even now she can't get everything back, her sister's corpse never found

Maggie listens for once

Nova continues about how she's been selfish in her deceit, not so different from Maggie except Maggie's only cunning was her sticky fingers. Maggie was clear she didn't want people to get close while Nova manipulated the situation

[fancifulpurposelesslovely]

Okay I put this in the tags if another post last night but deleted it bc it wasn't actually the place and I'm gonna share my thoughts but might not even tag this idk.

Re: that post abt the trc fandom disappearing post greywaren

First: I like a lot of the dreamer trilogy. I pretty well liked greywaren. I'm not as attached to either as I am to trc, but I did genuinely enjoy them.

Second: I am a trc fandom baby. I am a fandom INFANT. I got into these books about 3 weeks before Greywaren came out, and got to Greywaren about 3 weeks after it came out.

Third: They ate my brain for 3 months. I read TRC twice in the space of two weeks, then TDT, with greywaren specifically twice in a row. I then followed with Scorpio Races and All the Crooked Saints. I genuinely coukdnt read anything not Stiefvater for THREE MONTHS bc my brain was like "this is where the dopamine lives, nowhere else".

Third: I also read a fair amount of Maggie's blog and her thoughts about the series, including the notes that came out right after Greywaren was published. I've read 11 of her books. I own the writing seminar she put together and have watched about half of it just to listen to her talk. I like her art a lot and think her music is neat. I am Not Normal about Maggie Stiefvater.

So. Given the givens, my thoughts. The post I saw was the one going around about how the fandom died after Greywaren came out. I can't really speak to this bc I couldnt look at the tags until I finished Greywaren. So I only really know the fandom post-Greywaren. TRC is what brought me back to tumblr tho, after probably 4 years of only casually being interested in what was happening over here. I needed people to yell with and I found them here.

What I can speak to and apparently cannot prevent myself from speaking to is a lot of the notes on that post. There was a lot of talk of her being bored with the series, of wishing she had taken more time, of feeling betrayed by it not being the series she wanted/she had promised.

I am in many ways a Stiefvater apologist. I am. Yeah, she was probably kind of bored with the series. She was overwhelmed. It was 7 books and 10 years, and she was tired. She's stated that she's never going to write a series again. She's over the whole concept. Series are hard, the final book in a series is especially hard. I think we can look at George RR Martin and Patrick Rothfuss for truth there.

And maybe it feels as tho she should have gone the way of those 2. Not finishing the story, or putting it odd for longer to get it right. But a- I feel like that actually would have sucked more and gotten her more shit, and b- I have a feeling it wasn't an option given her contracts. And taking more time was probably not an option given her contracts. She had signed on for 3 books, possibly within a timespan, and three books she had to give them.

As go "this wasn't the Ronan series she promised" and "I hated the universe/big pieces of thr plot", we go back to the scholastic contracts. They didn't let her write the story she wanted. She had different titles she wanted, there was a whole different plot and vibe. The fucking Moderators weren't her idea. And yeah this comes directly from her statement post greywaren publishing, where she still had to be careful and still needed to sell books, but personally I believe her. If you've ever listened to her talk about writing, you know she has specific stories she wants to tell. Stories that matter to her and feel important. She'll make concessions based on marketability or what she believes the audience would like more, but she wants to tell a specific story. And she didn't get to do that with TDT and I think it pissed her off more than she let on.

I also think it's pretty fucking clear she isn't super happy with Greywaren. She literally nailed a copy of it to the wall. Like pounded a handmade wrought iron nail through a hardback copy of the book and then put it on the wall in her study. She was soooo fucking done. And it might feel like a betrayal of her readers and the series to be tired of the series and to give us a book that feels tired of and annoyed with the series, but she's a person as well as an author. She has opinions and desires and things she does and doesn't want to be doing. And for the sake on contracts, commitments, and not disappointing readers, she kept writing books she maybe didn't care about anymore. There's enough neurodivergence in the fandom that the difficult nature of that should make sense, right?

I saw at least one person say they aren't going to get any more of her books, and like obviously that's a choice you get to make, it feels like a shitty one. Personally I'm pretty excited to see what she does next. She's apparently working on a fairly long adult novel that's got her excited again. I love reading stuff written by people who are excited to be writing it, so I think this none is gonna be a good time. But idk, her writing style just makes my brain go brrrr.

Also i don't know how relevant is to the point I'm making but I still need to say it:

Idk how many people know/remember/consider that 2 of these seven books were written and published while she was like. Actively dying. Or suffering from a condition that was pretty damn close to killing her. TRK and CDTH were written in the fucking height of her symptoms while no one was paying attention and getting a dx was really fucking hard. She talked about putting a lot of her experience with illness into Ronan, and Addison's is a disease of lack of energy and sleeping too much and missing a lot of your own life because of it. And maybe thats why Greywaren felt right to her, and maybe that's why TRK and CDTH feel different to the books before and after them. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it all and my hyperempathy is getting the better of me.

Idk yall I just. Like Maggie.

[kindchenschema]

greysanon again and tysm for answering i love talking about this stupid show lmao

okay agree about s12 it’s actually my ideal end point for the show after s8 and the magmeldith (i love maggie—she’s over hated and all the hate is over shit other characters would easily get away with but they come down extra hard on the black woman for some reason🤨—and im a sister lady chief stan idc that it’s corny i loved how snarky and close and fun they were in this season) everyone finally moved on from the derek stuff and they’re all learning now to be okay again it’s so good and endearing🥺

yeah! simone is so adorable and kind! she even made lucas tolerable but he’s annoying af and drags her down. he needs to leave her alone and they need to write in a new guy for her that adores her. honestly wish lucas was leaving the show and not yasuda but greys loves to disappoint.

speaking of yasuda, why has the chemistry between her and jules been so good these last couple of eps lol like when they woke up together the energy was giving GAY lol. they should bang before she leaves for good honestly

same for amelia and beltran who finally acknowledged the thing between them. i still don’t see sparks but i was charmed by beltran this week (spoilers for ep8) and i loved that amelia asked her out. idk why she’s always attracted to these emotionally unavailable women (addison is my top 5 greys women but sorry to say ive never sparks between her and any of the other women except maybe callie? i just don’t get a femslash vibe from her at all she gives me super straight wasp vibes srry lmao but she’s super hot and brilliant) but it’s good drama when they put in the effort to write it. seems like she could be sappy but like in erica hahn way (another fave idc that she was mean and arrogant she was right and they wrote her off so stupidly) where she’s still kinda cold to everyone else but sweet with amelia and honestly that would work for me because i love that dynamic for women. imma need a kiss by the finale to really solidify my interest tho.

but yeah no this season is so bland the show itself has become so low stakes and formulaic it’s like they’re afraid to actually take it in a compelling and dynamic direction because they don’t wanna alienate their old ass fans in middle america but what about us young fun dykes lmao. what if we’re tired of weekly hetero complications like we wanna have fun too!

greys anon bestie!! hi <3

girl you are so right, Maggie get behind me 🤺 I really love Maggie and I do agree that a lot of the hate she gets is due to misogyny and racism, and she was kind of put in a shit position being "the other Lexie" by the writers. (I personally never minded the recycled half-sister storyline but Lexie was a precious babe so of course people are going to be territorial.) the thing, to me, about Maggie, is like. yeah. she's a little bit annoying. but we have to remember she's an ex gifted kid turned gifted adult, she went through puberty and like pretty much all major "age-related" (mental) changes surrounded by people much older than her and she was also bullied, plus she grew up an only child who was very much the center of her parents' lives. like, yeah, when a person like that grows up, she's gonna be a bit childish and self-centered (for the RECORD I can name at least ten characters who are way worse in that regard starting with the ugly little gnome George o'malley) (also Maggie is extremely emotionally intelligent when it comes to judging situations/dealing with conflict but due to everything in her life just not happening at the "average" time and being so focused on her studies she's just starting to develop an adult sense of "self-awareness" when we meet her - and that is OKAY). tldr Maggie is an angel and the minuscule amount of flaws she has just make her a real, three-dimensional, complex human being, and I wish people would get over the Lexie thing so they could appreciate this wonderfully written and played character.

same I loved sister lady chiefs so much!! I had genuine Amelia/meredith brain rot a few years back 🤭 when Amelia was curled up at the foot of Meredith's bed and then when they were at the table and Meredith reached out to pet Amelia's head - I have a lot of Thoughts about how much of a puppy Amelia is but I don't know if this is a safe space so I'll shut up now 😭

simone is good at many things but nothing and no one can make Lucas tolerable to me, every time he is on my screen it makes me want to kill myself. I wish he would leave and from a show writing standpoint I don't understand why yasuda is leaving. it just feels like everyone is coming and going as they please, couldn't they hire main characters who actually want to stay on the show for more than three seasons? because I'm sorry but what is this?

anyways yes in the very beginning I thought they would make yasuda and Jules a thing... I do think they would be good together in the time yasuda has left (in the show haha) but I found the storyline with her fight with Taryn very dissatisfying and just... meh, I guess. (but that could be said about any storyline at all of the past five seasons so)

okay enough of me being a hater!! I am a lover now. Love ❤️

okay I lied I still don't like Beltran and I want her to go away. I do agree with you that the badboy who's sweet to one (1) person in a lesbian dynamic is top tier, but regardless I do want kai to come back to Seattle and also their senses and for them to confess their love to Amelia. as an alternative I would settle for seeing addimelia scissor on national television. but that's beside the point.

anon have you watched private practice? if you like Addison, you should!! she's definitely a wasp but she is a lesbian i know it!! (source: delusion)

honestly I really wonder how their more conservative/republican fanbase feels about the general tone of the show now (I mean the hardcore alt-right people probably stopped watching a long time ago haha) because even though I'm anything but conservative I find it very disrespectful. I mean, you can't have every main character parroting one political standpoint (in ear-cancer inducing twitter lingo might I add) and the faceless "bad guys" saying the other. like with the roe v wade storyline - obviously I'm pro choice, but there could've been something way more interesting. instead of "bad guys throw brick at good guys" (Kwan). something to reach people on both sides and have an actual nuanced conversation - what if a woman who was a protester had gone to Addison for an abortion? for example

dude imagine if we were writers on the show... every character would be a dyke. Addison dyke, meredith dyke, Amelia bisexual(no one's perfect), NICOLE HERMAN!!! DYKE. Owen? dyke! you get it

thank you soo much for these anons they really make my day :'') as you can see I am a bit obsessed with grey's (I also write fanfic) so I'm super delighted to yap about it with you <33333 (but I promise I'm normal otherwise 😭 I go to school, I have friends, etc no basement dwelling going on here no ma'am 🫡)

[00katrinka00]

Landcaster Legacy Gen 7 Update #48

After the tour Mads helped Violet get situated in her dorm room. "Remember, to behave yourself, and make good choices." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mom. You and Dad sound like a broken record." Mads let out a sigh, "Just come here, I love you sweetheart." "Love you too, mom."

In Copperdale, after shopping for a few hours, Lacy and Jenna headed to the pier. "Seriously, Jenna, I got the days mixed up. I'm sorry for being late." "We made these plans like two weeks ago," Jenna told her. "Yes, I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

"You owe me now," Jenna told her. "Absolutely," Lacy agreed. "You name it, I owe it." "You know," Jenna began to say after a moment. "Maggie was saying some stuff, before you arrived." "Like what?" "Just that she didn't think you were a good friend since you were late. Also…"

"Also, what?" "I'm pretty sure she has a crush on Owen, but I told her you two were kind of a thing, but I'm not sure if she listened," Jenna explained. "First off, I barely even know Maggie, and it seems she's trying to ruin all my friendships, and I want to know why."

"It's weird," Jenna agreed. "We should go undercover and figure out what her issue with you is." "Absolutely, oh we need to-" Lacy's gaze settled on both Owen and Maggie who were talking on the other side of the pier. "What?" Jenna turned her head. "OMW." "I'll be right back."

"And lastly, this is the pier, most everyone hangs out here," Owen explained." "We could ride some rides, I spot a tunnel of love," Maggie suggested. "The rides aren't really my thing." "We could just talk then; what year of school are you in?" "Just graduated actually."

"Me too!" Maggie replied. "I graduated early though, I'm going to Foxbury after break, I'm studying Economics. I'm going to take over the family business." "Same, actually! Well, I'm studying physics, and I don't have a family business. I'm going to be a mechanical engineer."

"So, it seems we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the coming future, what a coincidence," Maggie giggled. "It's a good thing I gave you my number." "Yeah," Owen hesitated. "So uh, do you need me to walk you home at all?" "Please," Maggie nodded. "Excuse me," said a voice.

"Owen, can I talk to you?" Lacy asked. "Actually, we were just leaving," Maggie told her. "I wasn't talking to you," Lacy snapped. "Owen?" "Um," Owen paused and glanced towards Maggie. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?" "Whatever," Maggie rolled her eyes. "I'll be here I guess"

"What do you want, Lacy?" "Just listen, okay," Lacy began to explain. "Maggie over there, is trying to ruin all of my friendships. She tried to turn Jenna against me this morning, and now you, and I swear she's like obsessed with me and-" "Are you serious right now?" "What?"

"What are we Lacy?" Owen asked irritated. "Huh?" "I lost count of how many times you've rejected me, and then you always find a way to reel me back in, and I hope, and hope, that each time is different. Is this time different? Because I'm tired of this game" "Owen, I-"

"You aren't listening to me, Maggie is trying to ruin my life and-" "Let me get this straight, you can't decide if you want to be with me, but you also don't want me to be with anyone else?" "Owen-" "Not everything is about you!" "But-" "Goodbye, Lacy," Owen walked away.

"Here we are," said Owen as he dropped Maggie off at her house. "Not sure if I'm ready to say goodbye," she flirted. "You've been so kind to me today, thank you." "It's fine." "Promise me I'll see you again?" Maggie asked batting here eyes. "Promise," Owen agreed.

"Hey, Mags, where have you been all day," Maggie leaned in for a family kiss with her father. "Oh, you know me," she grinned. "Just plotting the downfall of our enemies." "That's my girl," Whit pulled his daughter in for a hug.

[221bshrlocked]

No one asked for this but I’m going to show you guys anyway which pictures of José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal are my favorite.

1. We got the very soft, hippie vibes kind of Pedro who, for some odd reason, screams raw sex appeal simply because he’s not wearing anything under the cardigan and has bed hair and is touching his thumb to his finger provocatively. Also, his neck is on full display and his relaxed facial expression makes me giggly and cozy. And let’s not even talk about the arms and how large his hands are and how long and thick his fingers look and my god did I mention that look in his eyes??

2. Slicked back hair is usually very ugly on guys, in my not so humble opinion, but my sweet god does he pull this off. I’m not sure if it’s because his hair is long and like the perfect shade of brown or because of how it contrasts beautifully with his skin tone but goddam. The focused, furrowed eyebrows and gaze is just a bit too much to handle and the little white hairs peeking on that scruff make me wants to nip at him. His nose is *chef’s kiss* and his neck, once more because I have a fucking fixation, really pretty and his clavicle is just visible but not enough (a shame), and the dip below his Adam’s apple looks very intimate. Overall, a look.

3. Not that I wouldn’t to the other ones but we have no moved into “I’ll get on all fours for you sir” territory because this is. This is something else. There’s just something erotic about a fully clothed man who holds such a powerful, dominate, alpha stance that makes me whimper and the fact that he’s wearing a turtle neck makes it all the more enticing because you cannot see a single inch of his skin apart form his face but my god does he look delicious. Also, he looks so soft yet aggressive and I can’t reconcile that with those leather gloves. The hair is floofy too and the mustache is prominent and the side profile kills me again people.

4. When I tell yall I almost spit out my drink the first time I saw this picture...What’s not to love. Black and white pictures make it so much easier to focus on the details and character of the portrait and this is just perfect because half of his face is hidden but you can still fall into those eyes so easily and his scruff is so attractive and his Adam’s apple is staring at me and the dip at the bottom of his throat is much much more prominent here and the hand skimming over the skin of his chest is driving me up the walls for so many reasons. The dark on dark just makes his skin pop out which leads me to his lower stomach and navel looking really soft yet muscular but not too much and not too blughh and the little happy trail is giving me unholy thots and the dip of his hips looks really sexy and the other hand sort of hanging on the loop is making me feral and once again, the look in his eyes yall. I am a whore for one man.

5. Chain. Chain. Chain. Fluffy sleepy hair, really cute smile, amazing lips, and dark dark eyes. Chain. That floral shirt deserves an award. Chain. His neck is really on display again but his Adam’s apple isn’t as out there but it’s fine. The little white hairs on the side scruff  are so cute. Did I mention the motherfucking chain???

6. Daddy.

7. I hate white anything in clothes but wow he really can pull off anything and it’s not fair. But seriously though the almost Contrapposto stance is making me roll my eyes because he does look like a Greek sculpture to me, especially with that suit and sir. For the record, it is not polite to put your hand down that hatch because I am deaded. Also, glasses in mouth.

8. Biceps and triceps and thighs and eyes.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

Ranch Hand: Chapter 13

Farmer!Veteran!Bucky Barnes X Teen!Reader (Small town and Farmer AU)

Series MasterList

Series summary: You ran away from your nightmare of a family, you found a small town, population 200. In this town you meet a retired army veteran turned farmer who hires you as farm hand. Only mystery will you two be able overcome your pasts together.

Chapter Summary: Bucky begins "Baby" proofing the farmhouse.

Series Warnings: Mentions nightmares, Child abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, war, swearing, mentions death by cancer, mentions of alcohol and illegal substance abuse. please tell me if you see anymore!!! But do so politely please.

Chapter Warnings:

Divider: @skylightlantern

Bucky glares at the list. It's almost 10 pm at night, he just finished working on the farm and he's now starting the safety proof process for the farm. He understands some of these, like putting his guns into a locked box but he doesn't understand why he needs to put on outlet covers. Your 14 if you don't understand that you shouldn't stick things in outlets then somethings wrong. He'll do it anyway. He got the outlet covers last time he was in town with Sam.

"Duke stop messing with that." He chuckles grabbing the Walmart bag that Duke was sniffing. "You gonna help me bubba? This is how we get to bring Y/n home. Yeah."

The dog just looks at Bucky before going to his water dish. Bucky looks at the list again. He decides he'll start with his guns. He has two rifles and three pistols. He wants to be able to protect his farm if the time comes. He's also more qualified to own a gun than most people who do since he was trained to use them. Also one of the rifles and one of the pistols was his grandpa's, so he wasn't just gonna throw them away, or sell them. He goes to his room with his new lock. He attaches the lock and tosses the key in his nightstand.

"Hey Mags." He pets Maggie who had been following him around. He decides to move on to the kitchen. He has to put up the knives, he both understands and hates this one. He likes having his knife block on the counter, but he knows knives are dangerous. He takes his knife block and puts it under the sink. He got these locks that need a key. He doesn't understand why he has to do some of these since your 14 and aren't exactly going to drink Lysol but he'll do whatever this list says.

He already got all of the papers he needed, including 5 reference letters. Only one of them could be family so his sister wrote one but her husband couldn't, since he's his brother in law. Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Natasha also wrote letters. Then he needed his Army discharge papers and a lot more. He has it all in a binder he has on his dresser. He's now focusing on safety proofing the farm. His barn is always kept locked so he's going to just moving where he keeps the key to his room.

———

"The home study is next week I have everything ready. But they can still decide not to let you stay." Bucky says. He doesn't want to get your hopes up. Your on the phone with him he's eating lunch, and your hiding in your room.

"School starts tomorrow... I don't want to go." You frowned.

"I know but doll in maybe two weeks you could be back on the farm! Your room is waiting for you. So is your bike it's in the barn, I even put air in your flat tire." He tells you trying to cheer you up

"My tire wasn't flat."

"It's been flat since I met you." He laughs.

"Oh. Thank you."

"Of course doll!" Bucky looks at the ceiling. "I gotta go babydoll I have to clean the horse's stalls out."

"Okay. Bye bucky." You say

"Bye."

You set your phone on the bed and look at the ceiling. You miss him. You didn't necessarily hate it here, they're nice but you hate strangers. You only tolerated Bucky and Steve at first cause Bucky was paying and feeding you. But these people are only feeding you and their kids are loud and annoying. You know you should be happy cause you're here and not with your mom and step dad and you are but you still rather be with people you know.

"Y/n we're going out for lunch. You can stay here if you'd like, and we'll bring you food.

"I'll come with." You say as you grab your phone.

Taglist: @rachaelswrites @killerqueenfan @lukajim @lrosenblut26 @worldssidechick @littleolive24 @mischiefsemimanaged @retiredfromglad @katopotato0 @xennityxen @bucky-boo-bear @thekillingjoke-haha @sunny-the-kitsune @i-have-no-life-charlie @tired-spider-siblings @buckymydarlingangel @ducks118 @evans-stan-thirstthots @buckysbaaee @amorluzymelodia @hanainneverland @bxtchboy69 @wooya1224 @bubs-world @marvelbabes24 @its-sunflower-stardew @lil-mamas-stuff @ogmisslove @austynparksandpizza @wickedravyn @fluffy-bnny @yoruebeautiful @carmellasworld @icrytomuch @teddybear2luv @krissydclayton93 @devilslilbabysblog @masterof-agony @gamingdevil101 @holybatflapexpert @oceaniamaddness

[lure-of-writing]

My Love

Connor rhodes x reader 

If one thing about life was guaranteed, it's that absolutely nothing about life is guaranteed. Waking up, going to work, coming home at the end of the day, none of it was promised.

Sitting on your balcony watching the city awake would be one of the fleeting moments of peace you would get all day. “Baby it's like five in the morning, come back to bed.” Turning to the side you see Conner standing in the open doorway leaning against the wall. “I’m not tired but you should go back to sleep.”  Glancing at the rising sun before looking back at you he moves from the wall gesturing with his hand for you to move over. Pulling your body to rest in between his legs, silence falls upon the blissful environment, both of you simply enjoying each other's presences and the beauty before your eyes.  

Laying your head on his shoulder you peel your eyes open to find him already looking down at you. “I’m going to marry you.” Smiling at his sudden confession you shift to sit in his lap facing him “Conner Rhodes are you proposing to me?” He swore he could see the stars in your eyes when you stared at him. Softly laughing he moves his hands under the fabric of your, his, shirt making random patterns against your skin. “No this isn’t how I’m proposing but now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I should have.” “You better not be messing with me right now Rhodes.” It's safe to say your heart was beating at a rate Conner would be concerned about. Gently cupping your face in his hands he sees all the questions swirling in your eyes “I promise I’m going to propose to you but not right now, you deserve a beautiful proposal.” Eyes darting in between his you scrunch your nose in confusion “Conner, I don’t need this huge elaborate proposal that you think I do.” Gingerly running your fingers along the features of his face you give him a world renowned smile as he likes to call it before continuing

“I have everything I need right here in front of me. You. I have you. Sitting before me declaring your love. This may not seem like a perfect proposal to you but the man I love is sitting before me declaring his love while I'm wrapped in his embrace, the place I call home, watching the sunrise. This is perfect to me.”  Conner could not believe the words he was hearing, this meant he could finally stop worrying about how to pop the question and finally put a ring on your finger. Studying your face for a few seconds he finds you're serious “In that case stay right here.” He slips from your grasp before sprinting into his bedroom where the ring sat in the bedside drawer, grabbing it before rushing back to you.

Kneeling before you, sat on the couch, he begins. “ I knew I had to ask you out when you came into the ED with Jay and stood at the nurses station and joked with Maggie and April that you need to take a medical class so your team would stop coming into the hospital to get patched up. I realized that I was in love with you when I went to Molly’s and saw you singing at the top of your lungs and dancing with Hailey as if there was no one watching but I was and I knew that I couldn’t live without your crazy, thrilling, breathtaking love.”  Delicately taking your hands in his, he sees the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over and your lip pinched between your teeth trying to not let your lip tremble.

“I knew I was going to marry you after coming home at god knows when, to you in the kitchen, music playing quietly, standing at the counter having a stare down with the ingredients needed to make churros because you saw a video on instagram and wanted to try it even though you had already attempted it and it didn’t end up being a churro.”  A hearty laugh falls from his lips as he thinks about that memory.

“Will you marry me y/n?” He couldn’t even get the question out as you pulled him into a hug, effectively landing both of you on the ground laughing with happiness. Laying next to him you knew this is exactly what you wanted for the rest of your life. “Absolutely, you don’t need to ask me twice” after placing the ring on your finger he pulls you into him, soaking up the happiness that surrounded the both of you.

“Conner you need to stop kissing me. I’m going to be late if you don’t” you had everything you needed for work in your hands but that also meant you needed Conner to open the door for you, leaving you trapped between him and the door, not that you minded. “It wouldn’t be the first time you're late.” pulling away he smiles at you “You're right this wouldn't be the first time I’m late for work, but this would be the first time I’m late as an engaged woman and a soon to be Mrs. Rhodes.”   He couldn’t disagree with that and he was sure you would want to show off your ring. Pulling the door open for you to step out into the hallway “Fair enough future Mrs.Rhodes. I’m sure I’ll see you at work?” he may have asked a question but it wasn’t really one with both of you knowing the answer “More likely than not.” pulling you back in for one last kiss he looks over your features just admiring his future wife “Be safe, I love you!”  bounding down the hallway you briefly look over your shoulder sending him a blinding smile “I always am. Love you too!” And just like that you were gone for work.

Conner hadn’t heard from you all day not that this was surprising, he knew you had a big day ahead of you and needed to be one hundred percent focused. “Come on man, what is the surprise?” Will leaded against the nurses station next to him causing Conner to laugh “Since when do you care about what goes on in my life?” This was definitely a fair point but everyone was talking about this surprise and he wanted to know. “I don’t care all that much but we have worked together for a while now and I also want to know what this could be, I mean all the nurses are talking about what it could be.” Grabbing the tablet from Maggie's extended hand Conner laughs again “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

The end of his shift was fast approaching and he could not wait to get home and see you again so you could tell him about everyone's reaction to the ring sitting on your left hand. “Trauma incoming CPD!” Maggie shouted causing his blood to run cold. Conner prayed you're not the one incoming but his prayers went unanswered. Ethan ran to the door as the gurney was being taken out of the ambulance  “What we got?” He questioned “Female, multiple GSWs, unconscious in the field and riding here, major blood loss.” Rolling past him Conner saw you covered in blood laying on the gurney and his heart dropped, he needed to save you.  Going to enter the room Maggie put a hand out to stop him “You know you can’t go in there.” “Like hell I’m not! That’s my finance, I’m going to save her!” he was shouting but he didn’t care. Maggie stood her ground in front of your room “I’m not going to let you and you know that you can't work on family members and you know that.” Conner was ready to fight with Maggie until she gave in until he saw Kevin walk in covered in your blood.

“What the hell happened? You are supposed to have her back! Make sure she's safe!” before Kevin got the chance to answer the monitors where going off letting Conner know you weren’t breathing. Watching Will and Ethan do everything they could to save you was painful but not as painful as not being able to do anything. The yelling voices and beeping monitors were beginning to blur together until he heard the words “Time of death nineteen hundred thirty-two.”

Rushing into your room he begs Will to do something, anything, he can’t lose you. Collapsing into the side of your bed he grabs your hand and lays his face on your chest. Crying he screams out “No! This isn’t real! We are supposed to get married and grow old together!” Will put his hand on Conner's back trying to provide some sort of comfort and Conner's crys bellowed out of the room and into the ED. The sound of his heart breaking would hunt the ED for months to come.

You knew being a cop was a risky job and when you became a detective you knew it only got that much more dangerous which is why you wrote letters to everyone in your life. “What are these?” Kevin pondered as you gently placed all of the envelopes inside the top drawer of your desk. “These” Holding up the letter with Conner's name printed on the front in your handwriting “Are letters to everyone in my life in case something happens to me.” Kevin watched as you placed Conner's letter before everyone else's “Nothing is going to happen to you.” shrugging as you close the drawer “It's a just in case thing, you know nothing is guaranteed in this line of work.”

Staring at the letters in your drawer Kevin realized you knew you weren’t going to make it home one of these days. It had been six months since you died and no one in the district could bring themselves to touch your desk until he remembered the letters. Pulling them out he looked at each name before quietly passing them out amongst the group before looking at the one that mattered most. “I’m,uh” pausing he taps the paper against his hand “I’m going to give this to Conner.”

Walking into the ED he could feel the shift in the room, like he was the cause of your death. Continuing to hand letters to Will, April, Maggie, Ethan and everyone else you wrote a letter to, Conner comes out of the elevator. “What are you doing here?” his tone is cold and dull not that he blames him “I remembered a conversation I had with Y/n once she said she wrote everyone a letter and left them in her desk but I just now thought of it so I, um, I came to give you yours.” lifting his hand he passed on the delicate paper to its rightful owner. “Thank you” giving a tight lipped smile he walks out of the ED and into the cold Chicago air.

Sitting on the balcony where he once proposed to you he opens the letter. “If you are reading this letter that means I’m gone, which first and foremost, I’m sorry. You know I would never willingly leave your side but I guess this wasn’t willingly. I never told you but the first time I saw you I was talking with Will and Jay and the nurses station and you walked out of a patient's room and it was love at first sight and I don’t even believe in love at first sight but you proved me wrong. I knew then that you were the person for me even if you didn’t know it yet.” For the first time in a long time he found himself smiling. “I just want you to know that I’m one hundred percent in love with you, like I’m pretty sure you could ask me to build you a house and I would become Bob the builder even though I can’t hammer a nail without hitting my thumb in the process, I would do it for you.” Of course you would make a joke in the letter you wrote to him in case you were gone. “Anyways it's time to move on to the important things. I want you to mourn for me and I want it to be a healthy mourning process. Can’t get over me too quickly or else I'll have to come back and haunt you, but I don’t want you to hold on forever. You deserve to have love and to be loved, you’ll find someone else someday and when you do, don’t push her away. Welcome her with open arms. Do all the things you wanted to do with me with her. Have kids, become a dad, travel the world with them, make memories and just live. Just live a happy and full life because you deserve it. Listen I feel like this is getting a bit long but I have a few more things to tell you. Don’t worry about me or how I would feel because I’m telling you in this letter I want you to be happy. I may have left you way too early for my liking but don’t worry, my love, I will see you in the next lifetime. Our souls are meant to be together and we will always find our way back to each other no matter the distance or time apart. We will be together again just not in this life. Conner Rhodes if there is one thing I did right in this world it was giving you my heart to love. So my love, I will see you again one day.” Watching the sunrise over the city he knew he would be ok, maybe not right away but eventually he would be.

[theravenkin]

☕️ Neil and Andrew’s music taste? (Separately or what they both like)? Thank you! ^-^

you have no idea how much i think about this-

okay so i’ve already talked about my hcs about neil’s music taste in previous posts but just to recap:

neil has adhd and one way it manifests is in his eclectic music taste (it can barely be considered ‘taste’)

he’ll make a playlist of like twenty songs from a really niche genre and listen to it for like a month or two on repeat until he gets tired of it and has to switch to something completely different

but he kinda carousels through a few genres/general vibes that he likes

i think he really enjoys like, taylor’s version era taylor, phoebe, mitski, maggie rogers, that kind of moment--the songs are soft and rich and make him happy, and the nicer ones remind him of andrew 

(some of the sadder ones remind him of his mom though and once he figures that out he has to avoid those artists for a while)

he also likes whatever earworms are popular at the moment (especially ones from social media--he hears some sound while andrew’s watching tiktoks and he plays the song on repeat for a month)

he loves kpop because it’s usually just happy and bubbly mindless pop and it makes his dopamine go wooooh and it annoys andrew which is a huge plus

i also think he adopts a couple of the genres andrew listens to:

nora has said that andrew’s music taste is anything “to loud to think to”, so here’s my take on that:

so he’s definitely an emo or an ex-emo, like there’s no debate

mcr was definitely his favorite and still is

he listened to pierce the veil and black veil brides at one point, but now it just reminds him of bad periods of his life

the only emo shit he still integrates into his playlist is mcr’s three cheers songs + teenagers, cus, duh

he also loves mindless self indulgence, like obviously

he listens to metal and punk, but like. the queer stuff. the good shit.

“queer as in fuck you”

yeah. yeah.

also some destructo disk, hands off gretel, a lil bit of destroy boys

neil does not like punk very much because it bores him, but he likes when andrew listens to it because it makes him feel like andrew’s letting loose just a little

andrew likes halestorm and the pretty reckless a lot, he thinks their songs are all extremely sexy and he likes listening to them while he speeds with neil in the passenger’s seat

neil also likes halestorm and the pretty reckless because the songs remind him of andrew and the mas and night drives and ~kissing~

i hc that andrew also listens to edm, think ronan lynch but with more taste and significantly gayer (i know that seems impossible but humor me)

like. he goes to eden’s all the time for escapism, he’s bound to form a bond with the music there. also clubbing music, especially gay clubbing music, is really nice for not having thoughts and just losing yourself in a beat 

i think he plays this when he drives around and is feeling extra sexy in his sexy clothes and sexy car

gay dance music just kinda makes him feel like he’s the shit (as he should)

neil learns to love this kind of music too because i hc that he ends up kind of enjoying eden’s, and even starts to dance with the others and enjoy it

he also thinks andrew is very sexy and thinks he just seems so unstoppable with that beat behind him

but also the music itches alllll the spots on his brain and it makes his people happy, so it’s like a triple win

i think neil is the weirdo that listens to lofi or bedroom indie while he runs or works out and then listens to edm while he studies or relaxes

andrew is like “i created a damn monster”

[angelsvoice1love]

Expecting (pt 3)

(pretend it's Crockett and y/n)

Crockett: And the kid threwup all over Doris. He said laughing, which caused you to laugh too.

Y/n: No way. Why'd I miss that.

Crockett: Good thing you did babe, I don't think you would've been able to handle all of that.

Y/n: Maybe, but I miss working at the ED. With my man. You said, throwing an air kiss.

Crockett: Oh, you have no idea how much I miss having you around. Even if it's just your voice.

Y/n: Yeah. If it wasn't for Maggie forcing me to take it easy I would've gone to work.

Crockett: We're almost there hun, just a few more days and our little boy is going to show his beautiful face. He smiled, as he swallowed.

You still knew this wasn't going to be easy for Crockett, but he was in for the long run. He wanted to stay, he encouraged you to still work and he still didn't act all crazy like your brother's are. Asking constantly if you were still fine, if you needed anything.

Smiling back, you stood up, your belly barely showing since you were such a small person you carried small which you were grateful for. Biting your lip, you pulled at Crockett's hands and looked at the bedroom down the hall.

Crockett: Hun-

Y/n: Please. I'm tired and I want this baby, and studies show that sex can cause the water to break which means the baby can come.

Crockett: Darlin...i love you, I do. But I don't think that's what we should do. You have no idea, how much I want to pick you up and throw you on that bed and have sex with you but...i want our son to come into this world without any of those studies tried.

Y/n: Oh, so you'll just let me suffer?

Crockett: Hun, your due date is only in a weeks time. If nothing happens until then and it takes longer, then we can try. I promise. Just one week, please...for me. He asked, using a baby voice as he tried to convince you.

Y/n: Ugh...fine,but only because I love you. You smiled up as he kissed you lips softly.

Next Day

Maggie: Incoming. Ethan, pregnant lady water broke and she hit her head while slipping on the water.

Ethan: Name?

Maggie: It's...its y/n.

Ethan: Okay, page Crockett and tell him to get down here.

You were screaming in pain, your head hurt too but that didn't compair to this. No, not at all.

Crockett: Hun? How ya doing babe? He asked as he looked down at you.

Y/n: I really, really want to get this over with. You said, as you breathed in and out.

Crockett: I understand darlin. Ethan, how is she? He asked, as he ran his hand over your hair.

Ethan: Good. She doesn't have a concussion, just a bruise and a cut that I'll fix up for her. In a meanwhile, Maggie said she'll help out until the OB arrives.

Y/n: AGH! please...please, I want this over with.

Maggie: I know sweetheart, but we're almost there. Just another push, and we're done. She said with encouragement.

Nodding, you took a breath in as you held it for 2 seconds and released it for 4 seconds. One more final push, and you baby was here. Hearing crying you, Crockett and Maggie laughed with Joy, as your baby was getting cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket.

Maggie came with your little boy, wrapped warmly in blue as she past him on to you.

Maggie: A beautiful, healthy baby boy.

Crockett: Awe, look at that. The cutest little man I've ever seen. Crockett smiled at his son, as a few stray tears fell from his eyes. You did good darlin, he's amazing.

Y/n: We did. We did good Crockett. He looks just like you. You giggled, as you looked at your sun in Crockett's arms. He has your hair.

Crockett: I can't believe I, my little man is here.

Y/n: What do you want to call him?

Crockett: Asher. It means happy. He smiled up at you for a split second, just to look down at his little boy again.

Maggie: Honey, if your up for it, you have some visitors.

Y/n: Sure.

Just in a second, everyone came into the room, your brother's Will and Jay, Natalie, April, Ethan, Mrs Goodwin and Dr Charles. All surrounding you as they looked at the small little life that just came into the world.

Mrs Goodwin: Congratulations y/n and Crockett, his beautiful.

Crockett: Thank you ma'am.

Dr Charles: Let's just hope this little guy, doesn't end up a ladies man like his father here. Dr Charles joked, causing everyone to laugh.

Crockett: Hey, I'm not that bad...well at least not anymore. I gave up that life when I met y/n.

Will: So, what's our little nephew's name?

Y/n: Asher, it means Happy. You spoke, as you played with Asher's soft hair.

Jay: That's amazing y/n. You and Crockett made the right choice that night.

Ethan: Ugh...Jay I don't think that was appropriate man.

Jay: What? All I was saying is that, they made the right decision-oh...thats not what I meant. I meant when you met. Not the other thing. He corrected himself fast, as he made a discussed face. What do you get me for.

Everyone laughed, at Jay's confusion and his body shake due to being disgusted.

Ethan: May I? Ethan asked Crockett, as he stepped closer. Just for a moment.

Crockett: Sure. Sure Crockett smiled, as he gave Asher to Ethan.

Nurse: Sorry to bother, I just want to get the full name of your son.

Crockett: Asher Ethan Marcel. Ethan spoke, getting Ethan's attention fast.

Ethan: What?

Crockett: Yeah. You took care of y/n while I was on my way by keeping her calm, you always protect her and your her best friend. And I know we had our differences, but if it's okay with you I'd like to name him after you.

Ethan: I'd be honored. He smiled, as he looked at the little boy in his hands that would carry his name.

After a while, he handed Asher to Will and everyone rotated to hold him in their arms for a while.

Nurse: Alright, I'm going to ask everyone to please step out so that mom and baby can get some rest.

Will: Okay. See you later sis. Will whispered, as he kissed your forehead and everyone left the room.

Y/n: Ethan? What made you think of that?

Crockett: I thought since everything he always does for you, and how he looks after you I wanted to honor that.

Y/n: I know there was a reason I loved you.

Crockett: I love you too hun. And this little man. He leaned down as he kissed you.

[deanstead]

I’ll Take Care Of You

Pairing: Will Halstead x Reader

Requested by anon: reader comes back home with her boyfriend Will after one year being away. she tries to hide the fact that she feels sick to Will so he doesn't worry, but he soon realizes about it. he takes her to the hospital against her will, and there he treats her of the anemia he discovers she's suffering. also, reader is afraid of doctors, and Will is really worried about reader's health.

Warnings: anxiety, mentions of illness, fluff

A/N: Received a specific request to write for Will so I thought I would try this out! Please let me know what you think, if I should write more for Will too? Am in no way a doctor or nurse so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes in medical terminology or situations! Even so, hope you like this one! Taglists are open!

*gif not mine*

---

“Y/N?”

You looked up from where you were sitting on the floor in front of his apartment, although you could already imagine the look on Will’s face. You smiled, getting to your feet as he ran towards you, pulling you into his arms and nuzzling his face into your neck.

It had been a year. One whole year since you had been forced to leave Chicago for work. Professionally, it had been good for you. It was good career progression and all that crap your boss had forced down your throat but it had been difficult for you as well. Leaving your friends, your family, your boyfriend behind.

“When did you get back?” Will asked, gently pulling himself away to look at you.

You smiled. “I came straight from the airport.” You paused, “I hope that’s alright.”

“It’s better than alright.” Will answered, pulling you into another hug. “Come on.”

Will fumbled with the keys for a while before he pushed the door open.

The moment the door was closed, Will pushed his lips down onto yours, as you felt the rush of warmth from just being near Will – a feeling you hadn’t had in a year, and the feeling that you had missed the most.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Will whispered.

You looped your arms around his waist, pushing yourself closer to his chest. “So am I.”

---

Being back in Chicago was great for you. What was not so great was the light-headedness that had followed you back as well.

You had always tired easily but you had figured the stress in New York had made it worse. Stress coupled with being alone in a new city had definitely made it worse. But you hadn’t expected to still be feeling this after being back.

Will glanced at you over the table in his apartment and you could see the small furrow in his brow that indicated he was worried. “Y/N? You okay?”

You realised you had been frowning while waiting for the headache to pass.

You nodded, smiling back at him. “Yeah, just tired.”

Will smiled, although he still looked a little worried. “Nothing caffeine won’t fix. Come on, you’re going to be late.” You said as you walked around the table, heading to him as he leaned forward to give you a kiss.

He turned to walk out the door and you felt a dizzy spell hit you. You grabbed the edge of the table but not quietly enough. Will spun back around as he heard a dull thud from the impact of your palm hitting the table, and he saw you sway a little on your feet.

Quickly, he made it back to you, throwing his bag onto the floor.

“Y/N!” Will was by your side, a steady hand on your shoulder as you sank to the ground.

“I’m fine.” You managed to get out, feeling a slight shortness of breath.

Will looked at you a little while more, studying you. “Okay, that’s it, you’re coming to Med with me.”

“Wait, what?” You asked. “Will, I’m fine, it’s just a dizzy spell.”

Will shook his head. “Humor me.”

“Will…” You tried to protest but he looked at you.

“You gonna walk with me, or do I have to carry you there?” Will asked, and you knew you were fighting a losing battle.

“Fine.” You relented, finally letting Will lead you towards his car.

---

“Will, you know how much I hate doctors.” You whined, as he put you into a treatment room.

Will looked at you. “Ouch.”

You smiled. “You know what I mean.”

“I’ll be right here, okay?” Will reassured me as a nurse came in. “Doris, can we get a CBC, CMP, the complete tests.”

You shot a glance at Will. “It’s okay, I’ll be right back.” He planted a kiss on your head before heading out.

“You’re better at this than I gave you credit for.” You told Doris, who smiled. “Let me know if you need anything.” She said before she disappeared out the room.

---

Will watched you from where he stood at the doctors’ station.

“Will?” Maggie called, following his line of vision.

“What’s Y/N doing here?” She asked, looking back at him.

Will looked back at Maggie. “I’m waiting on the test results.” Will’s expression was strained although he tried not to let it show. “I practically had to drag her in here. Why didn’t she tell me?”

Maggie looked at him. “I’m sure she just didn’t want you to worry.”

Will sighed and Maggie patted his arm reassuringly. “I’ll try to put a rush on those tests.”

“Thanks Mags.”

Just then, a faint beep sounded from the treatment room you were in. “Dr Halstead!”

Will’s head snapped up as he ran to your room.

“What happened?” He demanded, looking at you, your eyes wide, your chest heaving.

“Will…”

Doris looked up at Will. “Sats are dropping.”

“Oxygen. Now.” He instructed, as Doris nodded. He turned back to you, “Shh, it’s okay. We’re going to give you some oxygen. I need you to try to relax okay? It’s okay.”

You nodded, as Doris gently put the oxygen on you and you felt oxygen slowly fill your lungs once again.

Will watched you, a small worried frown still resting on his forehead but he smiled when he noticed you watching him.

“We’ll figure this out. I’ll be back soon, okay?” Will gently stroked your hair.

You nodded, watching him hurry out of the room.

Will sighed, taking a last look towards your treatment room before heading straight for Maggie.

---

“Hey.” You looked up as Will entered again.

“I got your results.”

Will sighed as he sat on your bed. “The tests show you have anemia. You must have been having these symptoms for a while. When did they start?”

You blinked back at him. “What? Anemia?”

Will took your hand, “Has it ever been this bad?” You immediately shook your head. You could kind of tell Will was holding something back and it made you wonder if he was mad at you.

“Your red blood cell count is lower than I would like. Let’s do an iron infusion today to improve your levels then we can make a plan to manage it, alright?”

You sighed. “More needles?”

Will gave a small smile. “I’ll stay with you while they set it up?”

You gave him a skeptical look but didn’t answer. “Please?” Will said.

“Thar’s so unfair, Will. You know I can’t say no to you when you do that.”

Will took your hand and kissed it. “Just the iron infusion then I should be able to take you home, okay?”

You nodded, wincing a little as you felt the IV pierce your skin. “That’s it.” Doris said, smiling.

“Will.” You called, before he left. “I’m sorry.”

Will frowned slightly again. “For what?”

You looked pointedly at the room around you, your eyes finally resting on the IV needle.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, okay?” Will planted a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit?”

You nodded but you could see the hesitation in his eyes.

“I’ll be fine.” You reassured, giving him a smile before he finally nodded, giving Doris more instructions before he left.

---

Will hadn’t said a word since you had been discharged. He had just silently led you out of the ED and into his car.

He swung open the door to his apartment, leading you to the couch. You leaned against the fabric of Will’s couch as he put two iron pills in your palm and handed you a glass of water.

You echoed his silence, swallowing the iron pills, your eyes following him as he pattered back towards the kitchen.

You stretched your legs out, lying flat on the couch before turning your head in, so that your face was hidden from view, buried into the cushion.

You could hear Will pattering about, you even knew exactly where he was in the house based on the sound of his footsteps and you felt the sting of tears behind your eyes. It wasn’t supposed to be anemia. They were supposed to be symptoms that resolved once you were back in Chicago. Which they weren’t. And now, Will was probably mad at you.

“Y/N, you can sleep inside.” Will said, absentmindedly.

When you didn’t respond, he gently touched your shoulders but you didn’t move so he gently tugged, turning you around. You tried to resist, you didn’t really want to let him see you crying because you couldn’t explain it anyway, but it was like fighting a losing battle.

You saw the moment that Will realised you were crying and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” He asked, a tone of worry evident in his voice.

You didn’t say anything as Will studied you. “Are you feeling breathless? Y/N, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry.” You whispered again.

“What…” Will trailed off, before helping you sit up, sitting on the ground in front of you, and looking straight into your eyes.

“I didn’t… I just didn’t want you to worry.” You whispered, pulling your eyes away from his. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They said it was stress symptoms. I…”

“Woah.” Will stopped you, realizing what was happening. “I’m not mad.”

You looked up at him, as he continued, “I’m just worried. You should have told me this was happening.”

“I’m sorry.” You said again, as Will got to his knees and enveloped you into a hug.

“It was hard.” You whispered. “Being away from you for a year.”

Will didn’t say anything but you could feel him leaning further into you.

“But you’re here now.” He finally whispered in your ear. “I’ll take care of you.”

You pulled out of his embrace to look at him, putting a hand on his cheek, his stubble tickling your palm. “We’re lucky, it’s not that serious. We just need to manage it, and you’ll be fine… we’ll be fine.” Will whispered.

You smiled, “Thanks, Will.”

“Don’t keep it from me if you’re unwell, okay?” Will asked.

You nodded. “Okay, I promise.” You answered, smiling as you nuzzled back into his embrace.

---

WILL HALSTEAD TAGLIST

@winterberryfox | @bestillmystuckyheart | @jayhlstead | @winterreader-nowwriter​

If you would like to be added to a taglist, you may request here or send me an ask!

[fandomficsnstuff]

Perfect Match

Daryl x Reader

(Warnings: Mentions of gore and violence, also some flashbacks of it, toughts of suicide, it gets kinda dark guys, but gets lighter at the end!)

(It takes place before they find the prison, but after the CDC)

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You panted as you kept running, your lungs burned, your legs ached, you felt dizzy, your heart pounded in your chest. You clutched the straps of your bag, searching for any kind of grounding, anything to hold on to. You felt the wound on your shoulder sting as yet another branch slapped across your wound as you ran, your feet starting to become numb but you kept going, you could hear your own heart in your ears, it sounded like someone banged a drum inside of your head, you could barely hear anything else.

You looked behind you, seeing if your pursuers were still behind you, so far you couldn’t see anyone, but you couldn’t take the chance, you kept running, and just as you looked back you bumped against something, it wasn’t completely solid, it moved as you fell, falling to the ground itself, and you felt a rush of panic, what if it was one of them? Best scenario it was one of the dead, the dead you could handle, but those… those monsters you couldn’t. You raised your head as you pulled yourself up, and seeing it wasn’t one of the dead, you grew even more scared, quickly pulling out the gun you had no idea how to use, it only had one bullet left, it felt heavy in your hands, almost as if it would drop out of your hand at any second, so you used both hands to hold it up, pointing it at the man with a… crossbow?... who looked just as confused as you “ah… what the hell…?” he looked up and saw you, instantly freezing for a second or two, before slowly getting up “the hell, ya can’t see or something?” he snapped at you, making you flinch, which is when he finally started to look at you, your shaking hands, your bleeding arm, how pale and tired you looked. You looked horrified, and when he tried to take a step closer to you you finally spoke up “DON’T! D-Don’t come any closer… I-I’ll s-shoot if I have to!” your voice was broken, scared, you surprised yourself by being able to speak at all. He raised his hands “it’s alright… I ain’t gonna hurt ya” he kneeled down so he wouldn’t be standing so tall, hovering over you, and it seemed to work as you relaxed a little, but only a little. “What’s ya name?” he asked after a moment of silence, making you frown, about to answer when you heard distant voices, instantly on edge again “n-no… n-n-no t-they can’t f-find me” you whispered, shaking even more than before. Your breath picked back up as you thought over your options, you couldn’t go back, you wouldn’t, and you weren’t sure how much further you could run, your legs and lungs couldn’t take it. A thought crossed your mind, you didn’t know how to shoot but… you only had one bullet left, it wouldn’t be enough fight all of them off, you finally felt tears in your eyes as you closed them and quickly raised the gun to your head, all this time, even though you ran so much it hurt, you never shed a tear, even though those bastards threw everything they had at you, you never gave them the satisfaction. You suddenly fell to the ground, your mind confused, you hadn’t pulled the trigger yet so why… you opened your eyes to see the stranger standing with the gun in his hand now, your own hand empty, void of where it should be.

You stared at him in shock, anger flooding your veins “no! I can’t go back! I can’t go back to those monsters!” you hissed at him, hearing the men come close, some even whistled out for you and laughed afterwards. You felt yourself being pulled up to your feet, an arm gripping your arm as he dragged you along, forcing your feet to run with him. You still felt the tears roll down your cheeks, but you didn’t have time to register it fully, not until you were shoved against a large tree, several feet wide. You whimpered out of fear and also from exhaustion as the man let go of you, moving his feet to sweep the ground where you had previously been running, once he was satisfied he grabbed your arm and ran with you once again, you surprised yourself as you felt your legs run with him this time, instead of being dragged along. You found yourself running with him, his hand didn’t hold you the same way anymore, now it was more to make sure you kept moving, than it was to move you.

Your feet hit what felt like a road, and once the stranger stopped you fell to your knees on the ground, heaving and coughing for air, not even noticing the strangers surrounding you, your heart pounded so loudly in your ears that you couldn’t hear them talking either. You flinched as a hand touched your shoulder, making you quickly turn and try to crawl away, only to see a woman with short grey hair, behind her stood a pregnant woman with long brown hair and a little boy besides her, holding her hand. You looked around, seeing more people, and a part of you was even more horrified, which the woman kneeling in front of you saw, quickly showing her hands “hey i-it’s okay… it’s okay, we won’t hurt you, my name is Carol” your mouth felt dry as you tried to respond, but instead your eyes landed on the man who had led you here, he was panting heavily as well, standing next to a man with a revolver, both of them standing near the tree line that you had appeared from. Carol followed your gaze “that’s Daryl, and that’s Rick” you only gave Rick a glance, your eyes stayed on Daryl, taking in each of his unique features, and Carol noticed, giving a subtle nod for him to come closer, which he did.

“It’s alright now” Carol gave you a heart warming smile, and you finally managed to tear your eyes away from Daryl to look at her “(Y/N)” you rasped, God, your voice was barely there, you tried to speak loudly, but your voice betrayed you, showing just how tired you were. “(Y/N), it's nice to meet ya” an older man appeared by your side “I’m Hershel, these are my two girls Maggie and Beth” he gestured to two girls, who gave you a small smile “ and as you now know, that’s Daryl and Rick and Carol, would you mind if I took a look at ya? It’s alright I’m a doctor” he hinted at your arm that was still bleeding, you hesitated before nodding, Carol helping you get up as Hershel approached, but as soon as you tried to stand your legs buckled, you almost hit the ground, almost, but you felt a pair of hands catch you, the same pair of hands that had pulled the gun from your hands, the same that had pulled you along with him. You glanced at Daryl, who stood awkwardly holding you up, like he wasn’t comfortable with it, and frankly neither was you, but it was that or the ground.

“How long have ya been runnin’ for miss?” you blinked tiredly at Hershel’s question, even trying to think of an answer seemed like running all over again “u-uhm… a-... a few days, I think? I-I don’t know” you moved away from Daryl, indicating that you were ready to stand on your own, and once he let go of you he stepped back a bit, allowing Hershel to take a look at you. Hershel nodded at your answer, glancing at your shoulder, which you noticed “it’s not a bite, I swear…” he looked like he didn’t believe you, making you nervous “i-it’s… it’s a-... I cut myself… on a tree that I bumped into while running… that’s it” you were never a good liar, but you didn’t trust these people with the truth either, but you tiredly moved your arm to roll up your sleeve anyway, showing the wound, one of a few, Hershel glanced at Rick, who walked over, inspecting the wound before nodding “it ain’t a bite” he declared and you quickly rolled down your sleeve before they could see anything else “but it ain’t a knife either” you gulped as you looked down “is it a scratch?” you looked at him confused “n-no… why would a scratch matter it’s not a bite…?” before Rick could say anything Hershel jumped in “scratches are the same at bites, that’s why” you nodded gently at his words “so,” Rick started, making you look at him again “what is it?” you frowned once again “it’s none of your damn business” you were beginning to grow nervous again, what if these people were like the people before? Or worse? No, no there was no one worse but them, but still, you took a risk standing around here, you had caught your breath, you should thank them and keep running.

Rick scoffed as he looked at everyone else, his hands on his belt where his revolver was, making you instantly take a step back, eyeing him carefully. But the pregnant woman stepped up to Rick, whispering something to him, making him look at her, sigh and then look at you “listen, we just wanna help” now it was your turn to scoff “bullshit, no one helps anyone just for the fun of it” you snapped, mentally getting ready to run, but the pregnant woman stepped forward “it’s alright, my name is Lori, this is my son Carl,” she gestured to the little boy “you’re scared, I can see that, and if you ain’t ready to tell us why then that’s alright, but you need to tell us who you were running from and why, we wanna help but we can’t if you don’t allow us to” you thought over her words, they didn’t seem like the people to hurt you, they had a kid with them an a pregnant woman for pete’s sake, but who knew? You sighed, taking a glance at Daryl before looking back to Lori, biting your lips nervously “my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), I lived with my family not far from here, a few days… but… some people showed up, and they…” you began to tear up “we just wanted to help, we had lots of food and space a-and water and we thought-...” Lori nodded and approached you slowly, letting you back away if you wanted to, but you didn’t, you let her embrace you, you let her hold you as she glanced at Rick, making Rick sigh again as he pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking things over “we don’t have much food or water, we don’t stay too long in one place, but…” you looked at him, studying the rest of the group before nodding “please, thank you” Rick nodded, looking at everyone else “alright… we’ll need to find a place for tonight, secure it, we-”

“What about the old prison?” everyone looked towards you, making you nervous again “t-there’s this o-old prison, it’s not close but, it’s not far either, there’s this huge courtyard… if we can clear it it’d be a good place… there’s fences, guardtowers, gates, there’s probably some forgotten weapons in the watchtowers…” you caught Daryl looking at you once you finished talking, but he quickly looked away. “Alright, where is this prison?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You carried Judith on your hip, Beth needed a break and you could understand why, she was getting heavy, but you didn’t mind, she was adorable, Daryl even called her little ass kicker. You hummed gently as you sat down at a table, setting Judith in your lap as you gave her an old toy Glenn and Maggie had found on a supply run, she giggled and reached for it, once you were sure she had a good grip on it you let her have it, you loved seeing how she moved her arms around with it and laughed at the simple gesture. You barely heard footsteps approach, but seeing Carol you smiled “hey” you greeted before looking back at Judith, Carol smiled back at you “hey, Daryl said he wanted to talk to you, he’s up in the eastern watch tower” you frowned and sighed “can you take her?” Carol nodded, and you handed Judith to her “see ya later troublemaker” you waved at Judith as you walked outside.

You knocked gently on the door before entering, seeing Daryl leaning against the wall, smoking, he looked confused seeing you “hey, Carol said you wanted to talk?” you looked down, since the day where he basically saved your life, you had gotten to know him little by little, and every piece of him you uncovered you liked more than the last, no matter what it was. “What? Nah, she said you wanted to talk to me?” you frowned, as did he, Carol may or may not have known of your fondness for the silent archer, but you didn’t understand why she would set it up, there was no way that Daryl would ever feel the same, and you were okay with that, as long as you had what you had with him now, you wouldn’t risk that for something that would never happen.

You entered the small room raised above the prison, closing the door behind you “you sure?” he nodded, putting out his cigarette as he looked over the courtyard, and you followed his gaze, seeing Carol, and she waved at you both, making Daryl smile as he waved back, although with less enthusiasm. It made your smile falter, seeing him smile at her like that, and you turned around “s-sorry there must have been a mistake then… maybe I-I heard wrong” you chuckled nervously, reaching for the door knob when his voice stopped you “you don’t have to leave, ya know” you turned around to face him, giving him a forced smile “and none of that shit either” he waved a finger at your face and you frowned “what’re you talking about?” he scoffed “none of that fake smile shit, if you ain’t in the mood for it, then don’t” some might find his words a bit offensive, but you found an odd sort of comfort in them, making you nod and sit down on a chair across from him.

After a little while you looked at him, studying his features… okay okay you were admiring them, but come on, he is everything to admire. “She say what I wanted to talk about?” you blinked confused, now fully aware that he was looking at you, and had probably caught you ‘studying’ his face a little too much, making you blush and look away “nope, you?” he hummed low “nah, said something ‘bout you needing to see me, she said it was important” now it was your turn to hum “weren’t you going on a hunt today though?” you looked back at him to see him shrug as he looked away from you, looking down at his feet “well… she said it was important…” he mumbled, and you swore you saw his ears flush a little, and you bet his cheeks were pink, if he’d only look at you and not his boots, but the thought made you smile, Daryl cancelling a hunt because he thought you wanted to talk about something important. “Well… we shouldn’t disappoint then” he looked at you confused, making you shrug with an amused smile “let’s talk about something important then” he scoffed but you could still see him smile as he looked out of the window “like what?” he looked back to you and you hummed low in thought “well, let’s talk about…” you looked out the window yourself, realizing that all the things that seemed important before, were meaningless now, school, work, hobbies, none of that mattered anymore, except… “what about family and friends?” you looked back at him “huh?” he was clearly confused, making you giggle lightly “I just… realized that not much matters anymore… Things that were important before just seem…. meaningless now, jobs, school, how work is going, money, hobbies, all except friends and family” he just looked at you as you spoke, making you blush, you felt the tips of your ears grow a bit hot.

“Alright, you start then” you narrowed your eyes at him before shrugging again “family isn't really what it used to be. It used to be family dinners, birthdays, hell, even baby showers and holidays… now…” you gently shook your head, looking at the ground before back to him “now it’s us, you know? We don’t celebrate christmas or thanksgiving, or our birthdays together, that ain’t what makes us a family. What makes us family is this, small moments like this… or… like when you found me in the woods… I was so ready to give up, I thought that… I was either going to die there and then on my own terms or go back to those… monsters… I didn’t think I had a choice. You gave me a choice… family isn’t those stupid christmas cards you send when you can’t be bothered to show up, it’s knowing, trusting that the ones around you will help you when you need it, family isn’t blood, blood just… poisons everything…” you had looked down during your talk, unaware that Daryl’s eyes stayed on you as you looked away, his eyes mapping everything, everything from your face, the shape of your nose, your eyes, their beautiful (Y/E/C) colour, how they lit up as you talked about something you loved, and he also noticed how their dulled when you spoke of the people that were after you all those months ago.

“You know, you ain’t gotta hang on that now, you got us, you got me” he looked down immediately after saying that last bit, silently cursing himself for speaking before he thinks, which was something that tended to happen around you, but not once did you ever mind, and he was thankful for that, he realized. There wasn’t a lot in the world that he was thankful for, he had to fight for everything himself, he taught himself how to survive and hunt outside, but he was thankful for you, for the day he found you in the woods, for taking the gun from you before you could do something that broke his heart just thinking about it. “I know” your voice snapped him out of his trance, making him look at you “I know I have you, and Rick and Carol and Hershel and all the others. I… was never lucky with my family… I had my mom and sister and that was it, my dad left when I was just a little girl, before my little sister was even born. But now I have you” you gave him a kind smile, one that made him blush and quickly look away again, which made you smirk. You got up from your chair, walking over to him once he looked at you, you couldn’t help but smile even wider “thank you, Daryl” you gently kissed his cheek, he barely noticed it, despite standing dangerously still, he was scared to move, scared that if he did you would turn away, you would never speak to him again.

“You mean a lot to me, you know, and… I-I… I really care about you, Daryl and I know that you won’t ever feel the same way but I-I had to say it...” you hadn’t moved away since your lips left his cheek, but you were beginning to get nervous, what if you made him uncomfortable? What if you had been wrong in kissing his cheek? What if you should never have told him? Damn it you were thinking about how bad it would be to do that exact thing just half an hour ago, and now you told him all of this. What if he was disgusted by you? What if he thought you were joking? What if- your thoughts were cut short by Daryl’s lips on yours, and now it was your turn to be stiff like a board, but you eased into it, your hands finding their way around his neck as he slowly moved his own hands to your hips. As you parted you sighed, your eyes still closed to try and savour the last bit of it as much as possible “I-I’m sorry about just blurting everything out like tha-” you were cut short as he kissed you again, this time less stiffly and more passionately, making you relax even more, your foreheads resting against each others’ as you parted “what was that for?” you chuckled lightly as he shrugged “you wouldn’t shut up” you full out laughed at his response, leaning your head on his shoulder, feeling him press a careful kiss to your shoulder, his lips resting there for a second, smiling.

You lifted your head and looked back up at him “you’re so stupid” you whispered as you laughed again, making him smile and chuckle a bit “guess we’re a perfect match then” you fake gasped at him “Daryl Dixon! Are you calling me stupid?” he grinned at you “never” he leaned down and kissed you again, and you happily kissed him back, unaware of a very proud Carol who stood and saw you two kiss, you’d have to thank her later for setting this up.

[pffbts]

―22 & more.

this is my way of telling myself to throw away all the procrastination and that i should stay still because, in this freshly dawned 22nd year of my life, i`m still young.

flashback to 10 years ago when taylor swift released 22 from her red album, my 12 years old self wanted to know what it really is like to be 22 and sing that song. i used to watch the music video on our television on vh1 in that new city where everything was so very new, unaware that the city will bring the harshest storm in our family. i wondered what it`s like to be 22 and feel "happy, free, confused and lonely at the same". i wanted to know what is it about 22 being "miserable and magical". i wanted to experience what it`s like to "[...]forget about our deadlines".

i guess, here we are now.

i can tell you now, my 12 years old self. it`s probably more than all that. first of all, you can be 22 and still feel like you`re stuck at 19. maybe you`re never going to know what 22 really feels like and it`s okay. just make it seem like you`re cycling past a vast field while the spring air flows around you. you don`t have to sit back and think of being consumed in solitude. that thing will come to you like your best friend.

by 22, you`ll know that words are your only escape. you`ll be sitting in front of your study desk, watching a ghibli movie and eating maggi because mother didn`t feel like making dinner which is completely okay because she worked hard today, so she`s tired.

by 22, it will be 7 years that you`ve learnt the bittersweet taste of unrequited first love & heartbreak. but don`t worry, that boy who was 3 years your school senior and whom you loved with your everything, right when things were going terrible at home, will still continue to wish you "happy birthday" every year right at midnight of your birthday. you`ll probably have second thoughts thinking, maybe he remembers it so well because it`s also the birthday of his own first love, the girl in his year who also broke his heart. yet you`ll brush off that thought, smile to yourself and reply to him with a simple "thank you so much" because although you`ve way too many things to tell him, you can`t. he`s been with someone new for the last 3 years and he`s very happy. for you, that`s all that matters.

by 22, you`ll be in the last year of college, prepping up for the upcoming semester exams. you`ll be doing not just one but two degrees at the same time. you`re a good student now, not like how you used to struggle in school. so don`t worry, take your time and absorb everything that`s happening around you. you`ll be going through so much and if i could, i would run to you and hug you close because god, you`re so incredibly strong, my much younger self.

i don't feel numb rather it`s like i knew this was going to happen. even if i was dreading for this day to come, i wanted to sit back and take it all. i`m not happy but i`m not sad too. i`m just somewhere where i`m building a path to escape from this place. someday, i hope i will but for now, all i can do is sit back and think of how to spend this day without letting it get into my head.

therefore, happy 22nd to me. i hope when things go tough just like always, i stay next to myself, holding myself in my own arms and convincing myself, it`s alright, i`m strong. i`ve seen so much so i can bear a little more too. time waits for no one. it`ll pass.

stay still, me.

[knockknockchicagopd]

❛ A PSYCHO? ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Headcanon 8 with Will please.

❚❙ Headcanon: Secret admirer.

❚❙ WILL HALSTEAD MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @teller258316. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

At first, when you receive a bouquet, you don't give it as much importance as Maggie and April do, thinking that maybe they're from a grateful patient.

Until you realize that it's a coincidence that, whoever sent them, chose sunflowers. Not many people know they're your favorites and that's when curiosity invades you.

You can't help but fixate on every man in the hospital. Mainly in your friends, the ones who maybe have heard you talking about small details like the fact that you love sunflowers.

In your free time, you write a list of names.

You need to know it. Not everybody makes a gift like this in these kinds of times. 

But after a couple of days without any sign else, you start to find random sticky notes in your office, your locker, even on the windshield of your car.

And they all know what to say to make you feel better.

If it has been a bad day, you find one saying ‘everything is gonna be okay’ or ‘I've missed your smile today’.

If it has been a good day, the ones you find are the type of ‘you did an amazing job today’, ‘you're the best nurse I know’, ‘people should learn from you’.

You talk about it with your friends every day.

Even Sharon asks you if you have found another one at the end of your shift.

Everybody looks excited about your secret admirer. 

But you aren't able to discover who he is.

And you really want to know it. Not only because of curiosity but because you want to thank him for brightening up your days. Mostly, the darkest ones.

He has earned all your attention. You can't stop commenting about it being the main topic of talks in Molly's.

You don't care about Connor saying that he must be a coward for not revealing his identity; or about Ethan saying that he must be too ugly.

You don't care about his appearance, that's for real. A man who worries about you, about not seeing you smile; a man who praises your hard work deserves your interest.

Natalie and Sarah have helped you try to discover him, after a month.

And no one of you will admit that maybe you tried to bribe the security guys to watch the hospital footage. Not even that you made Atwater try to investigate the flower shop.

But when a young patient brings you a Snickers to the library with a sticky note on it saying ‘you're close, I just hope you don't hate me when you discover who I am’, your list of names comes down to three. And two don't have sense.

Being aware that he is watching you right now, reading it, you pretend to continue studying for your next exam.

Until he leaves the library.

Secret Admirer reunion. 

You can't believe who has been doing it all this time. Your friends either.

Sharon, Maggie, April, Natalie, and Sarah are on the edge of their nerves waiting for you to say the name out loud.

Will.

“Will? Halstead?” They all ask in unison. “How do you know it?”

“He's the one who never says anything about my secret admirer. And he was trying to not look like he was very focused on seeing my reaction with the last note”.

“Didn't know Halstead could be this romantic… He's more like an asshole with girls”. April is more surprised than anyone there.

“So, which is the next step?”

The crazy ideas go from implicating his brother to a home invasion to prepare him a date. But everything sounds too illegal.

At this point, Daniel joins your prank.

Oh, God bless Doctor Charles.

He knows exactly how to make Will confess.

At Molly's.

Surrounded by all your colleagues from the hospital.

“I'm tired of that guy. Seriously, if he likes me, why just don't… say it? I mean, what's the point of staying in the shadow?”

“Do you know secret admirers are considered psychopaths?”

The laughs fill up the bar.

“Explain that, Doctor Charles”. You are choking on your beer, not expecting it.

“The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker is the fact that a stalker feels an obsession for his target. But they share more similarities than people actually know. Without keeping in mind that a rejected secret admirer can turn into a stalker or, even, into a killer”.

“A killer?”

“Exactly. By rejecting him, you hurt his ego, his manhood. The feeling of not being good enough, of being insufficient for his beloved, can develop killer instincts”.

“If I can't have you, nobody will”. Wise words from Sharon.

“Should I talk to… Dawson or Voight?” You whisper pretending to be scared and confused, seeing Daniel nodding with his lips pressed against the edge of his glass of whisky. “Okay… I'm gonna text Antonio before this gets ou—”.

“I'm not a serial killer!”

FINALLY.

Everybody at the table looks at Will and the gesture of confusion is installed on his face.

Then, he realizes what is going on.

It was a trap.

And it worked to perfection.

“C'mon! Why didn't you simply ask me?”

“'Cause it wouldn't have been fun, Halstead!”

“You all are a bunch of traitors”. Will points at all your friends, who break in laughs. “And you… Doctor Charles… You should know I'm pretty far from being a psycho”.

“I do”.

“Okay, we're leaving you alone”. April giggles palming Will's back, before turning towards you. “Just in case, keep your phone close”.

You have never seen him blushing till his cheeks have the same color as his hair. And he looks really cute.

You can't stop smiling.

And he can't look you in your face.

“So… are you gonna ask me for a date or…?”

“You want?”

“Of course I want, idiot. Been waiting for it for a long month. So don't you dare to tell me you don't wanna go on a date”.

[sunshinefic]

You've Got Sunshine

Chapter 2 - Nervous Nellie

(I haven't watched season 2 in forever as it's my least favourite season so some details/timeline may be a little off)

(y/n) stood with Rick's group while they studied a map of the area. Shane brought up what they should do if the girl was bit. Rick's answer caused anger to wash over her.

"and her mother?" She asked in an accusing tone. "What do you tell her?"

"The truth."

She walked off at that, these people were sick, they didn't have any compassion for those plagued by this new illness, that much was obvious. She didn't want these people anywhere near her family in the barn, she felt anxiety take over her as she imagined what they might do to them. Her family may be dangerous but they were sick, they couldn't help it, since when did we turn on the Ill? The disabled? It was like they were living in the dark ages.

She grabbed a horse from the stable and set off in search of the missing girl, praying she wouldn't end up a new addition to the group in the barn. Hours passed and no sign, she didn't expect to be the one to find her, not today, but she was still disappointed. She decided to head back to the farm, she had plans to go into town with Maggie and she wasn't yet aware that Rick had volunteered Glenn to go in her place since she was busy. She saw another horse from afar, then the man above it, it was one of ricks men 'daryl' or 'darren' maybe, instantly she knew that he hadn't been given permission to take their horse.

"Stealing our horses now I see?" She teased as he approached him. He watched her carefully, looking mildly irritated to be interrupted on his search.

"How ya know I did't ask huh?" He huffed, already steering the horse away from her. She just chuckled, watching him so obviously lie.

"Because my step father is a man of God, and if he sent you out on this horse, it's because he doesn't want you to come back." she stated simply, looking him in the eye. He looked back at her confused. "That's Nellie, we called her nervous Nellie and for a reason, best be careful she doesn't knock you off." She warned. He looked more than mildly irritated now.

"Think I know how to handle a damn horse woman!" He barked, she felt a little anxiety creep up on her, men with a cruel gaze and large muscles didn't exactly make her comfortable since Colin. She directed her horse away from him and started making way for home again.

"Just be careful Yeah?" She called back from a safe distance away.

She felt terrible, Daryl had been out looking for the little girl, it wasn't fair of her to be so afriad of him that she didn't try harder to stop him. She should have at least offered to trade horses, she knew better how to handle Nellie. Now Daryl lay in the bed while her step dad nursed his wounds. He couldve died and ultimately it would have been her fault. Even if he didn't listen, she should have made him listen.

She waited until everyone had left and it was just the two of them. "I'm sorry" she said, watching him carefully. He looked a little taken back.

"The hell' you sorry for?" He hissed, clearly still in pain, but she still felt herself panic a little at his harsh tone.

"I should've traded horses with you or something." She said, apologetic blue eyes looking into his. " I knew Nellie was dangerous."

"My own damn fault" He said, closing his eye for a moment, he must have been tired, she felt bad for taking up his time like this. "Not your problem girl" he finished, opening his eyes and smiling weakly.

"Well okay, Im still sorry either way" She told him, walking towards the door and opening it. She turned back to look at him before she left. "Night Daryl".

(y/n) met Maggie as she walked towards her bedroom. She looked distressed. Maggie took her outside to talk.

Glenn

The Note

The Barn

Fuck

Maggie and her ran to barn as fast at their legs would carry them. Glenn walked out of the barn just as they got near it. He looked terrified, covered in sweat, like he'd seen a ghost, but this was much worse than a ghost. He wasn't supposed to see this.

These people needed to leave now.