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madeinhell666 · 5 months ago

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Seo Moon-jo's psychology

This Korean horror series, Strangers From Hell has one of the most psychologically thrilling plot to me in a while.

So the main antaganist, (the cannibalistic cult leader) Seo Moon-jo's psychology is so interesting to me. He knows that all the people he has control over are weird, gross, immoral and insane, yet he doesn't mind it. He actually loves it and encourages it. He loves seeing people embrace their true selves, the parts of them that he knows exactly how to bring out. He doesn't really need them to do what he wants, but he finds it useful, and in return for letting them live, he has them under his control. He doesn't need help, and he doesn't really mind if he's in control or not, but he knows people. He knows every little part of them, down to how they think and act in every situation. He's always prepared for anything. Moon-jo doesn't need to be in control, but he does love seeing people be willing to do anything and everything just to please him. They'll do anything to not be tortured, killed, and eaten. That being said, he's so involved and and in love with his work, that if anyone tries to intervere with it, he won't stand by and let it happen. He's said this himself. If his following don't want to fall victim to his work, they'll do what he says. He's naturally and mentally strong, so it doesn't matter to him if people go against him. He'll win anyway.

However, he doesn't feel any need to control then his obsession, Jong-woo (the main protaganist). He sees himself in him, he sees how much he needs to act on his strong urges for violence. Jong-woo might reason that people are horrible and piss him off enough that he can't contain his anger anymore to the point of extreme violence. While Moon-jo senses that he just is a violent person for the love of it. That just like his obsession, he loves the taste of beating people down within inches of their lives. He loves to see people beg to not get hurt by them. He loves the feeling of panic and heat within his victims veins. He thinks it's so funny seeing the true nature of people come out when pushed far enough. Moon-jo just can't get enough of pushing people and them acting on it - even against him, if he loves them enough. Jong-woo is his current obsession and so in love with him that he wants him to be violent against him as well. He might not want people to disobey him, but for someone like that, he's willing to do anything to make him lash out against him. He wants to hurt as well, but only by someone special just like him.

It's just, I love how insane and complex he is. He even says in response to Jong-woo asking why he does what he does, "there's no particular reason". There's really not besides the fact that he just loves it. Even if there is a tragic backstory or some justified reasons for being this way, it doesn't matter in the whole grand sceme of it all. The fact of the matter is, he believes society would be better if people just say what they want and be how they really are, violent or not. No tiptoeing around conversations or faking theirselves to look good for others. He doesn't want people to be fake, especially not with him. That's why the people that he teaches and guides look and act weird around outsiders. Most people aren't used to seeing people not put on a mask for them to be accepted in society.

"I can't be killed, not when there's so many of me in the world." Whether it was Moon-jo or Jong-woo saying this, it holds true for anyone. There's so many people in the world, that everyone starts repeating and acting either like others or themselves. No matter if it's the united states of america, the uk, australia, or korea, society is the same. People falling in line with others around them. Its truly once people are separated from it, in like-minded groups or by themselves, that people feel free to drop their masks and just be their actual selves.

When Jong-woo states to another new outsider from the hell he lives in that he gets along with, "it finally feels like home here with you", it seems he still finds comfort at this time in the familiarity of someone that society deems normal. Its true that people feel more comfortable with familiarity, which can help but can also hurt. Jong-woo made a bad decision to stay at the dangerous place because he had finally made a normal innocent friend there. He gets a taste of normality again after feeling so out of place there and at work and with his girlfriend. Because of this, Moon-jo fears his progress he made with Jong-woo will be for naught, and his obsessive project will be ruined. Its another example of him getting rid of any obstruction to his work.

Moon-jo loves to bring the worst but true colors out in people by pushing them to their breaking point and further, until they either give in to his whim or they die trying to escape his evil doings.

The message of this series is open for interpretation and the ending is ambiguous, so this is just my take on it. There may not be reason given in the show for the cult leader to be how he is, despite him pointing out that this is people's true nature when pushed far enough. It's even pointed out to him that most people don't do what he does. I believe his reasoning is pales to the fact that he just loves it. Everyone has their own battles and tragedies in life, but very few act like he does. His upbringing from an already insane orphanage owner (and possible abuse before that, given he has lifelong scars on his arms that he always covers up) could be how he was molded and manipulated into becoming, or it's how he was simply born. Perhaps it's a combination of both; the psychology field theorizes that how people behave, act, think, and feel are a result of both nature and nurture, and not one or the other.

There is just so much to uncover in this show, despite it being only 10 episodes long and came out in 2019, so there's unfortunately an unlikely chance for there to be a second season. I just love figuring out people/characters and their psychology.

Thanks for reading my thoughts on this korean show!

#Strangers from hell #fan theory #Seo moonjo #Moonjo #Psychology #cannibalistic #Psychopath #korean horror #obsessive yandere #obsessive love #Yandere #Stalking #Cult #lee dong wook

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elbiotipo · 1 year ago

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The problem with Wikipedia is that it has rendered all other encyclopedias extinct or out of view (the exception are fandom encyclopedias, I guess, but those have their own problems). And people need in-depth information which also isn't highly specific academic papers that only tackle one specific thing in depth without wider context (my main problem when researching, for example, pre-columbian cultures.)

And competitors to Wikipedia like, you know, Encyclopedia Brittanica (I actually read it sometimes, and it's good until it hits you with straight up XIX imperialist apologia) aren't really good either. There is also a drought of encyclopedias in Spanish as all search results are absorbed by Wikipedia, this is why I hoard all sorts of PDFs and books, because the results in Spanish are just Spanish Wikipedia (probably the WORST of all major Wikipedias) and random SEO blogs.

There should be lots of online encyclopedias on different topics written by experts, ideally with some oversight because Wikipedia can be very, very biased when it wants (you can tell some people are really masturbating to Byzantine emperors), but I think this is a lost cause too since Google search, which let's face it, it's 99% of all internet searches, is declining into mush fast. And with AI generated content, things are going to get worse. I think we're honestly reaching a tipping point in the internet regarding access to reliable information.

At the end, my suggestion is that you go and download books, actual published books, and keep your sources broad. Because I think we're reaching a point where information on the internet is going to decline. It won't be lost, it will just be impossible to find unless you do a deep dive, or worse, mumbled into SEO/AI garbage misinformation.

#cosas mias #not that published books are automatically good but at least there are some levels of editing and control that Wikipedia doesn't have #much less all the SEO blogs

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dokjak · 4 months ago

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This blog will be much less active soon ✌️ orv is special to me but it’s been like 5 years since I finished it.

List of other novels I recommend:

Longer reviews after this TLDR;

Return of the Mount Hua Sect — Martial arts novel. 100 years after he died to stop the end of the world, Chung Myung reincarnates to find his sect in ruins. This novel is hilarious, thrilling, and heartbreaking all at once. I also like it because Chung Myung is insane and his personality sucks.

Debut or Die — The OG idol novel. Ryu Gunwoo wakes up in the body of Park Moondae and must debut as an idol, else his System will kill him. I like it because Moondae is an intelligent but unreliable narrator who doesn’t realize people care about him.

Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols — Kim Iwol, an exploited office worker, wakes up as the next member of his manager’s daughter’s favorite idol group. I love it because the more you learn about Iwol, the more you realize he’s a Freakk. His pre-transmigration life is so horrible it’s funny, and his System is mean to him too 😭

The Trashy PD Has to Survive as an Idol — Seo Hoyun, an unethical TV producer who “evil edits” idol shows for drama and ratings, transmigrates to a parallel world and needs to debut to return home. I like it because Hoyun is a petty bitch and straight up a bad person <3

normal reviews:

1. Return of the Mount Hua Sect

Summary (Shortened):

The 13th disciple of the Mount Hua Sect, one of the greatest third generation swordsmen, the Plum Blossom Sword Saint: Chung Myung. After defeating the Heavenly Demon and ending his reign of chaos, Chung Myung breathed his last on the summit of the Heavenly Demon Sect's mountain.

Hundreds of years passed, and he was revived as a child.

But... What was that? Mount Hua Sect has fallen? What kind of bullshit is that!?

Why you should read it:

it's my goat 🐐

Chung Myung is a real freak. He's got a bad personality. He's been compared to a rabid shih tzu.

It’s not a power fantasy, and it doesn’t just follow an OP protagonist around. The biggest regret of Chung Myung’s first life was focusing on his own strength instead of ensuring his sect’s survival, so there’s a lot emphasis on the supporting characters’ growth.

It's SO funny. Again, Chung Myung has a personality that makes everyone want to throttle him at all times.

It's touching. This is what I love most about RotMHS, apart from Chung Myung's personality. Given how funny and batshit insane he is, you tend to forget that he watched everyone he loved die in front of him. His grief hits when you've let your guard down and is all the more effective because of it.

It has great prose and some of the best action sequences l've read in a translated novel.

It respects women. Whenever men look down on her, Yu Iseol viciously crushes them. Tang Soso also has a massive girl crush on her because of it. They’re very sweet.

The webtoon is INCREDIBLE. Incredible character design - no two characters look similar, down to the silhouettes. Not everyone is deathly pale, and monolids exist!! The composition, especially for fight scenes, is striking. It also stays very true to the novel. You can tell the artists love it.

my rotmhs blog is @tangsoso :3c

The remaining recommendations are for idol novels. I don't even like kpop, they're just really good.

2. Debut or Die

Summary (Shortened):

A student who had been preparing for the Civil Service examination for 4 years suddenly found himself in an unfamiliar body, 3 years in the past. Along with it came a status window displaying a threat right before his eyes!

[Outbreak!]

[Status Abnormality: 'Debut or Die' occurs!]

A diary about the transformation of the main character, who was suddenly challenged to be an idol even though he had never been in the industry before, due to the sudden threat of death.

Why you should read it:

This is the OG idol novel. If you want a story about idols, people will always point you towards DoD first, and for good reason.

Park Moondae is a fascinating character and unreliable narrator. He cares a lot about others even if he thinks he doesn't, and doesn't realize that people care about him too.

Later on, there's an interesting mystery surrounding how and why he's in Park Moondae's body, what happened to the original Moondae, and what happened to his past identity, Ryu Gunwoo.

It has a good webtoon adaptation too!

3. Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols

Summary:

Not only does he have to fangirl on behalf of the manager's daughter, but now he has to debut as an idol himself?

Assistant Manager Kim really hates idols.

Why you should read it:

The more you learn about Kim Iwol, the more insane he seems. He's not normal.

He lived such a HORRIBLE life ong.... His job was hilariously, cartoonishly abusive and the more you learn about Iwol's past the more you go. oh honey... this explains so much about you. He thinks working 22 hours a day, 7 days a week, is normal, and he's GOOD at it.

He's one of the most unreliable narrators I know of.

His System is so mean to him. please give him a break 😭

4. The Trashy PD Has to Survive as an Idol

Summary (Shortened):

[Congratulations Seo Hoyun! You have been selected as a player in the Unknown Idol Tycoon.]

The good-for-nothing PD, who is criticized by everyone, becomes an unknown idol in a parallel world. Only his younger sibling remembers him. To return to the original world, he must become a top idol and clear the game!

His specialty is blackmailing, his hobby is persuasion. The survival story of the unscrupulous PD-turned-idol who will stop at nothing!

Why you should read it:

Seo Hoyun is, above all else, a petty bitch. He's a straight up bad person. I love him.

I see people comparing him to Cale from TCF because they're both schemers, but l disagree. Hoyun is actually a bad person. If being a gaslighting male manipulator was an Olympic sport, he would be the gold medalist. Is he irredeemable though? Probably not...

The fact that his brother remembers him from pre-transmigration is intriguing and unique for this genre.

He's very protective of people he considers his own, which at first was just his brother. It's sweet to see his group members slowly be added to that list.

A webtoon adaptation is coming out on March 8th!!!

anyways @tangsoso has become my non-orv webnovel blog so come hang out with me there :)

#not orv #return of the mount hua sect #sorry in advance for all the idol novels. i don’t even listen to kpop #debut or die #assistant manager kim hates idols #the trashy pd has to survive as an idol

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maxdibert · 1 month ago

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I don’t understand why Marauder fans want to distance themselves so much from the main saga. Not to be cruel, but looking for representation in a book written in the ’90s by J.K. Rowling is simply stupid. There are other contemporary books that have the elements that attracted them to the Marauders fandom,like a magical school, a group of friends.

And it doesn’t matter what they do, they’re still using names invented by Rowling, spells invented by Rowling, characters invented by Rowling, and Rowling’s world. I mean, growing up is accepting that sometimes you have problematic tastes and that you’re not morally perfect, and that you’re perfectly capable of enjoying something created by a shitty person. And yes, it’s true, there’s a lot of cognitive dissonance, but we’re never going to be perfect in everything. There are people who still watch Woody Allen movies even though he’s a fucking pedophile, and they know he’s a pedophile and they think he’s disgusting, but they’re still huge fans of Annie Hall, what do you want those people to do? I stopped watching his movies, but I’m not going to go around criticizing the people who still do.

The point is, it makes no sense to have that narcissistic paranoia that they’re something different from what Rowling created. No, they’re not. They are what Rowling created. They use names that are under intellectual property rights, and if that psychotic lunatic felt like it, she could ban them from using them because she’s insane and a billionaire. These are her characters, there’s a thing called internet positioning, and every time these people mention the word “Potter” or “Sirius Black” or “Marauders” online, they’re boosting the SEO of anything related to JK Rowling, because those names are associated with her. They’re not helping the trans community, or women, or anyone. They’re just contributing, like the rest of the fandom, to keeping this woman’s name highly ranked in search engines. The difference between them and the rest of the fandom is that some of us do it consciously, accepting how problematic and contradictory it all is, and they cling to this absolutely manic and ridiculous social justice delusion.

#marauders #the marauders #marauders fandom #marauders fans #marauders stans #jk rowling #fuck jk rowling

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whatispersonalspacejyp · 7 months ago

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SKZ Reaction; Asking you out

Genre: fluff

This is a continuation of how you meet

Original Date: 14 April 2020

Bang Chan

GIF by luvknow

You and Chan spend a lot of time producing new music. Right now you were walking to his studio with four cups of coffee. Since Jisung and Changbin where in the too.

You stood just outside the door when you heard them talk. “No, Jisung I’ve asked yet, I want to ask with the love song I produced.” “You know y/n could come back any minute right?” You opened the door at that moment. “Did ya’ll order some coffee?” Chan blushed a bit as he looks at you as you winked at him.

Jisung and Changbin noticed the tension within the room and smirked. “Y/n, Channie-hyung made a song for you.” Jisung said, earning a glare from Chan. “Oh well I wanna hear that.” You laughed, Chan at this point had his head in his hands. Changbin took it to himself to play the song.

The song had a soft tune and the lyrics sounded like a confession. You had closed your eyes enjoying the sounds. “This sounds really good, did you really wrote it for me?”

“Yes...” Chan finally looks up at you and smiled when he saw you smile. “I like you too Chan.”

Lee Minho

GIF by

Minho came every Saturday to the shelter, too help you with the cats. The both of you were playing the kittens at the moment, you were still curious about why Minho actually was coming every week.

“Minho, why do you come here? You have three cats at home and a busy job.” You couldn’t understand why he want to be here. Many times Minho said he likes it here, but you didn’t believe it.

Minho could clearly see that you wanted answers and not the one he gave you. “Well, actually I met a someone, who I started to like a lot. More than I’m allowed to. And that person is here every Saturday taking care of cats.”

“That’s great to hear.” You felt a bit nervous, cause the only one you could think about was yourself. But at the same time you didn’t believe it, why would he like someone like you.

Minho smiled. “y/n would you like to be mine?” You looked up in shock. “Yes.” you crawled closer to Minho and hugged him.

“Your stuck with me now Lee.”

Seo Changbin

GIF by strayteensehun-blog

The two of you sat inside his studio writing lyrics. Every time you looked at Changbin you felt butterflies in your stomach. Right now you couldn’t help it, you were staring at the boy and without realizing it you were drawing him. Once you looked at the paper again and back to earth you were a bit shocked.

Changbin noticed the staring and sat closer to you. “What do you have already.” You were quickly moving the notebook so he couldn’t look. “It’s a secret.” Both you and Changbin were now in a playful fight, since he wanted to know what was in the notebook. In the end Changbin won and got a hold of book.

Your face was red when Changbin looks though it, he smirks at the drawing with hearts around it. “You like me? Yes, I can see it in your face. Well lucky you. I like you too. But one thing you need to know is your drawing is amazing and it’s mine.” He carefully rips the page out of it and put in it in his notebook so it wouldn’t get damaged.

Hwang Hyunjin

GIF by prodskz

After the accident from a few months ago. You and Hyunjin were practically stuck to the hip from that moment. Always practicing new dances together.

“Y/n, JYP-Nim asked some of us idols to compete within a dancing competition. And I want to ask you if you want to be mine dance partner. I still have some other background dancers but I want you to be mine main one.” You nod at him. “Sure. What’s the theme?”

“Love songs.” there was a moment of quiet in room. “Right, let’s start learning the dance right?”

Now nearly a week as passed. You had a small break and watched Hyunjin. “You look really hot doing that.” What could you possible lose right? Hyunjin turns around in shock. “Hyunjin, I think I like you. More then I probably should.”

Hyunjin smiles. “I like you two. I guess this dance really brought us closer.” He walks towards you and kissed your head. “Now I put more love within the dance. It would look so realistic.”

Han Jisung

GIF by lees-minho

The two were best friends ever since you were seated next to him. This even went to the point of sharing a dorm room together. You were laying on your bed while Jisung was sitting at the desk.

“Sung, I’m bored.” You complained as you rolled to watch him. Jisung lets out a sigh. “You could study, the test week is coming up.” Now it was your turn to sigh. “Fine, let’s date.”

“Sure.” You weren’t actually thinking about what he said, but before you even knew it Jisung laid on top of you. “Your heavy! What are you even doing?” You laughed, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m cuddling my bored significant other.” You finally realized what Jisung was talking about seconds ago.

“I really thought you meant that were going out, in like you know getting some fresh air. But I do like you too Sung.”

Lee Felix

GIF by kim-woojins

Today was prom night. You got a cute outfit which matched with Felix’ one. As you were doing the last bit of preparation a car rolled on the driveway and within a few minutes the doorbell rang. Luckily your mom was a savior for opening the door as you nearly fell of the stair because you were busy with one to many things.

“Mr. Lee, you look amazing.” Your mom said smiling at Felix. “Y/n is there.” Your mom went out of the way and Felix and you made eye contact. “Wow.” was all that came out of Felix’ mouth. You smiled shyly and grab all you needed. “I’m ready Lix.” Felix grabs your hand and pulls you with him. “Mr and Mrs y/l/n, don’t worry. I’ll make sure y/n will safe with me.” With that the both of you got into the car going to the prom venue.

“Y/n, I actually wanted to ask you this at the end. But I can’t help it to ask you now. Will you be mine?” Felix asked as he looks you before you went into the venue. “Yes.” You both hugged and went inside to have the best time of your lives.

Kim Seungmin

GIF by hyyunjinn

You had been talking to Seungmin a lot. Even your fan noticed, to the point of them shipping the two of you.

Seungmin was in the practice room when the members of Day6 bursted in with you behind them. “We all decided that Seungmin you would officially be our little brother. Since your dating our little sister.” Jae said as he walked in, startling the poor boy.

Seungmin looks up confused. “I didn’t know you had a little sister and I’m not dating anybody.” Jae rolls his eyes, while Sungjin took over. “Well you spend a lot of time with y/n. Including skin ship. And don’t forget that millions are shipping the two of you.” You stood there embarrassed, trying to stop them. But it was no use as Brian back hugs you.

“Seungmin, I’m sorry I tried to stop them.” You yelled before Brian covers your mouth. Dowoons face lightens up. “Well if your not dating. How about confessing, cause I’m getting tired of listening to y/n talking about you.”

Your face turned red, as Seungmin’s did the same. “Okay, what could I actually lose. Y/n I really like you, accept me as your boyfriend.” You could just nod your head. Brian lets you go and push you towards Seungmin. “You two love birds have some fun!”

Yang Jeongin

GIF by bxngchannie

You and Jeongin became great friends after the first coffee ‘date’. To the point the two of you couldn’t help and do those ‘dates’ more often.

Right now you were already waiting for two hours and you were pissed. You understood he was busy, but a text couldn’t be that hard right? You stood up, paid for the drinks you bought and left to go home, only sending him one text. “I wasted two hours of my life because of you.”

Jeongin in the meantime had practice, but things didn’t go as planned as they were already three hours longer busy with the dances. Chan noticed the tired and stressed faces and dismissed them. That’s when Jeongin realized he forgot about you. “Channie-hyung, please help. I messed up big time.”

The doorbell rang, you looked in the mirror and try to make yourself to look a bit descent, before opening the door. As you opened it, the first thing you saw was a bouquet of flowers. Then Jeongin came behind the flowers. “I’m so sorry y/n. I never meant to ditch you. Practice turned out to be longer and I totally forgot to text you about it. Please accept these gifts.”

You grabbed the bouquet out of his hands and put them on a vase, when you turned to Jeongin again he holds a bag in front of you. You saw a piece of paper, teddy bear and some sweets in there.

The paper said. “Please date me.” You read the letters on the paper a few times before hugging him while saying yes.

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jalal67 · 1 year ago

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E-Commerce Marketing

The main point in the keyword “On-Page SEO for Blogs: Increasing Organic Traffic” is optimizing blog content to boost organic web traffic.

In the digital landscape, where competition is fierce, small niche websites often need help to make their mark. While it may seem daunting, implementing effective on-page SEO strategies can significantly boost your small niche website‘s visibility and organic traffic.

In this article, we’ll delve into the world of on-page SEO and explore how you can optimize your small niche website for search engines.

#The main point in the keyword “On-Page SEO for Blogs: Increasing Organic Traffic” is optimizing blog content to boost organic web traffic.#In the digital landscape #where competition is fierce #small niche websites often need help to make their mark.

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anzulvr · 1 year ago

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ʚɞ On Purpose Karma x (fem) Reader || Chapter: 1 ୨୧

001 Game Time || Next

[Name] was standing behind the chain-link fence, wide-eyed and immersed in the E-class VS A-class baseball game exhibition.

"You can't seriously be interested in this— since when are you a sports fan?" Kaho scoffed.

"Since today?" Truthfully, [Name] wasn't all that interested in the game, her eyes were set on Karma.

"Oh I get it, you've got a thing for one of the players!"

"What? No! Where'd you get that from?!"

"Shindo right? Don't worry, I won't tell!" Kaho noted with a breathy laugh.

[Name] nodded fervently. It was better for Kaho to believe [Name] liked Shindo rather than word get out that she was dating Karma.

It was Karma's idea to keep everything on the down low, that way people wouldn't give her a hard time for being with him.

"Batter number eight, left fielder, Akabane." The commentator on the speaker brought her attention back to the field.

Karma stayed in place, all eyes were on him.

"Hang on, never pegged you as the type to play dirty, sir. If the rules haven't changed this little gambit ain't legal, they're bogarting the infield umpire should have called 'em on it by now."

His voice grew in confidence by the second, "Oh come on, anyone else smell a rat or is it just me?"

Karma turned to face the fence where most of the main campus was spectating from.

"Oh never mind, you guys are morons! Baseballs like a foreign language to ya!"

[Names] peers collectively grew angry, yelling insults back at him. Karma took it all in stride, turning back with a smile, happy to have elicited a response.

No one expected E class to play this well, even Shindo looked defeated, Kunugigaokas star player was struggling to get a hit against the lowest ranked class.

"Preed, do you mind getting us something to drink?" Kaho half-heartedly requested.

"Yeah I've got you, I'll be back!" He scurried off instantly, anything Kaho asked from him went.

"Kaho… don't you think this is a little much?" [Name] asked.

"It's not like they'll find out. Guys are such idiots."

Kaho dated a lot but not out of love, she got a kick out of toying with people, or maybe she wanted to feel loved, [Name] couldn't know for sure, she was only able to make assumptions based on what she saw on the exterior since Kaho wasn't the type to speak vulnerably.

"You're with three guys this time, and Preed is nice, I feel bad." [Name] said disapprovingly, she kept her tone hushed and careful no one was listening in.

"He'll live… Are you with me or against me?"

"Okay, Okay sorry."

If Kaho wasn't with Preed, she was with Seo or Yozo. [Name] couldn't go a day without third wheeling, ever since Karma was moved down to end class she hadn't had anyone else to hang out with.

Who knew baseball could be so intense? At some point Karma dodged a bat to the face by the millisecond, eventually, the game ended, the speakers blasted for the final announcement.

"The game is over, I can't even— this is insane… the winner is, I never thought I'd say this but the winner is E-class…!"

The students from the main campus complained about the loss as they left, the only people cheering were in end class themselves.

"Preed still isn't back, I'll go look for him, see you around [Name]." Kaho sighed on her way out.

[Name] pulled her phone out and sent Karma a message.

message start

[Name] Meet me at the small building to my left?

Karma looked around the field until his eyes caught yours, his focus went back to your contact as he typed out a reply.

[Karma] Yeah just a second Ill have to make an excuse

message end

"What are you smiling about Karma?" Rio grinned while trying to get a peek at his phone from behind his shoulder, unfortunately for her, he could sense her creeping up on him before she got the chance.

"I'm getting a call, I'll meet back with everyone in a few!"

Once he was out of earshot Rio turned to Hinano "What's he lying for? I wasn't able to read his screen but I know he wasn't getting a call."

"That's suspicious… What if he's hiding a girl!" Says Hinano "Or a body!" Fuwa chimes in

"Out of those two outcomes the body seems more plausible…" Rio laughs, she tilts her head as if she's got a brilliant idea, "Hey Ritsu, you should listen in on what he's doing through his phone!"

"I shouldn't eavesdrop… I told everyone I wouldn't do anything without full consent."

Unfortunately for Ritsu, Rio's knack for sweet-talking has always been unmatched, "Exactly! As his friends we have to look out for him, we can't do that if he's sneaking around all the time, doing this would make you such a caring friend!"

"I'd be caring…? I guess that makes sense, okay I'll do it for friendship!" Ritsu, who’s new to all sorts of human emotions and expressions, naively gathers up her resolve. Now she’s just as involved as the rest of the group.

ᝰ ♡

Karma put his batting helmet on [Name's] head "Sorry you had to watch us destroy your class on the field." He bragged, not anything new.

"I was rooting for you, keeping my poker face was hard!"

"Your eyes were shaped like hearts and you were practically foaming at the mouth, your poker face could use some work."

"I was not! Anyway, how are things in E class? You look pretty close with everyone." [Name] turned the topic around.

"Is that jealousy I hear? Cute, but don't worry [Name] I still like you best."

"I'm not jealous! Just a little worried, the way Mr. Ono decided to send you to end class was harsh."

"I'm good I promise, I like it better in 3E, The only thing I miss about the main campus is you." He flicked her forehead. [Name] handed the helmet back to him, playfully shoving it into his chest.

"I know I complain about how annoying you are every day but, I wish Mr. Ono sent me to End class with you."

Karma smiled and shook his head no, "Don't go getting crazy ideas, tell you what, i'll take you out to eat as a consolation prize!"

"It's not a consolation prize if I wanted you to win!"

"Right, so what I'm hearing is, you're paying?"

"I take it back! I'm so upset you won…please pay for us!"

"Fineee…" He feigns disappointment "We'll go to [Café], right after school tomorrow, don't be late!"

#Akabaneonpurpose #ansatsu kyoushitsu #karma akabane #karma x reader #akabane karma x reader #karma akabane x reader #assassination classroom x reader #assassination classroom #assclass #karma akabane headcannons

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nonranghaes · 9 months ago

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jisung knows how to escape a crowded room by this point in his life. he's done it for as long as he can remember, after all: the moment it all starts feeling a little too much, or he gets a little too tired, he'd quietly slipping away from the main room. there's always guards around, patrolling and keeping an eye out for the younger prince.

but what he doesn't expect is to find you standing out on the balcony. he sees your own guard, seo, sticking closer to the shadows, far enough away that you have some sense of privacy. the man gives him a small nod of acknowledgment as he passes, and jisung finds himself drifting toward you instead of finding his own little corner.

you look up for just a moment, settling just tiny side-step closer to him. "i didn't expect the birthday boy to escape his own gala." there's a tint of amusement to your voice, too, and something about it sets jisung on edge.

see, the hard thing is that jisung hasn't exactly figured you out yet. you're twin sides of the same coin when it comes to your situations: his older brother is going to be king, as is your adoptive older brother. minho's the whole reason the two of you are betrothed, after all: he'd convinced your parents that the offer of marriage could bring the kingdoms closer together. to his surprise, neither of you had any complaints over it. it was what was expected, after all. he'd be returning with you within the next month or so, and he knew wedding planning would come then, too.

but you... he can't figure out how alike the two of you really are. you like sweets. jisung often finds you exploring his family's library while you have the chance. it's strange. he's known you vaguely for most of his life, and yet you're still such a stranger to him. but he feels the way your hand presses against his own for just a moment.

"happy birthday, jisung." you look away from the sky at last, meeting his gaze. "i hope i can help make the next one a happy time for you."

suddenly, he feels safer. his hand slips into yours, squeezing it gently as he starts to feel at home with you. after all.... you escaped his party, too, and before he did.

maybe you really are a part of the same coin, birds of a feather, mirror images of one another. and he think he's okay with figuring you out if it means he'll fall for you.

#nonranghaes.thoughts #nonranghaes.skz #stray kids x you #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #han fluff #han x reader

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wannaeatramyeon · 2 years ago

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Hi, sorry if your ask box isn't open, but ive been following you for quite some time and you're also the main blog in the lookism and Vasco tags :OO.

Which of the characters would you say gives out the best hugs/cuddles? I think hands down Vasco would be somewhere on top of that list (counting on the chance that he doesn't get overly flustered with hugs), and I think Jake would be high up on the list too. (Zoe's hugs would def be sunshine-inducing)

... I think Samuel's hugs would feel nice (I mean he literally has cushions strapped to his chest at this point), but he would be overwhelmingly awkward because I don't think he's ever been hugged in his life.

;}}

Hi anon,thanks for following me! And... uh. I am sorry for how much I clog up tags tbh. I have been prolific the last few months. I nearly went crazy initially trying to write this - world record for how many times you can fit the word 'hug' in 500 words. So... changed it up into a couple lists and focused on guys including HTF! Most of the girls hugs would be sunshine-inducing tbf!

Hugs from Lookism + HTF Guys hc

"Can I have a hug?"

"Sure!"

Daniel Park, Zack Lee, Vasco Tabasco, Jace Park Jake Kim, Jibeom Kwak, Ji Yeonwoo, Han Wangguk, Kim Munseong

"No but thanks for asking."

Sinu Han, Warren Chae, Jay Hong ("..."), DG (remembers his manners due to media training), Baek Seongjun (another one keeping fans happy)

"No."

Eli Jang, Samuel Seo, Vin Jin, Hudson Ahn

[Ignores you]

Gun Park, Johan Seong, James Lee, Eugene, Xiaolong

"And what do I get?"

Goo Kim (wants money), Ryuhei Kuroda (wants sex), Seo Haesu (wants food), Jihan Kwak (just wants his bro back)

Chat shit, get hit

Seong Taehoon

Fave type of hugs

Arms envelope you, pulling you close and they let out a deep exhale - breathing out the stress of the day.

Daniel Park, Zack Lee, Jake Kim, Jace Park, Warren Chae, Kwak Jibeom, Ji Yeonwoo

A hug usually has an ulterior motive, and will include a couple thrusts of the hips and suggestive waggle of the brows.

Goo Kim (but soft Goo hugs here), Vin Jin, Ryuhei Kuroda

Hugs you from behind, wrapping their arms around you, resting their head on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.

Eli Jang, Sinu Han, Kwak Jihan, Seong Taehoon (probably no cheek kiss though), Han Wangguk

Not a hugger, preferring to fall asleep with you in their arms and head on their chest. Wakes up spooning you and pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

Gun Park, Baek Seongjun, DG/James Lee, Kim Munseong

Rarely initiate hugs. Slightly awkward and stilted but as soon as you hold them, they melt in your embrace.

Vasco Tabasco (once he gets over his bashfulness), Johan Seong (whole ass fic here), Hudson Ahn, Jay Hong, Eugene, Xiaolong

Doesn't have a chance to initiate hugs, because you are always hugging them.

Samuel Seo - Oh look, a special category all on its own for Sammy and his massive tits. You will take any opportunity to rest your head on his chest. And it's obvious. Sammy knows what you're doing. Rolls his eyes fondly as you nuzzle into him.

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emotionallychargedtowel · 2 months ago

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Revisiting To My Star: If it’s hard for you (season 1, episodes 7, 8, & 9)

Past posts in this series:

Revisiting To My Star: A pursuer meets a distancer (season 1, episodes 1 & 2)

Revisiting To My Star: It's really hard to meet someone who's fun to be around (season 1, episodes 3 & 4)

Revisiting To My Star: This is considered flirting (season 1, episodes 5 & 6)

Also useful here:

My overview post about pursuer and distancer roles in relationships and how they relate to BL pairs

Well, I’ve reached the end of To My Star’s first season. Slowing down to write about it and discuss episodes with @my-rose-tinted-glasses and others it has definitely been worthwhile. I’ve noticed so many new things and gained a lot of perspective on things I was already aware of.

As in my last post, I’m going to summarize the episodes I’m covering here for folks who could use a refresher and to help me restrain myself from summarizing elsewhere. If you already know these episodes well, feel free to skip past this bit.

Episode 7: We see the rest of the confession scene that started in episode 6, Seo Joon confronts the supposed friend with whom he was involved in the scandal incident and decides to release the CCTV video from that night to the press, Hyung Ki starts to suggest to Ji Woo that they blackmail Seo Joon together (using a photo of him about to kiss Ji Woo during the “picnic” from episode 5), and Ji Woo goes home, packs a bag, and rejects Seo Joon horribly inside of a literal closet.

Episode 8: The rest of the conversation between Hyung Ki and Ji Woo is shown. We also see that after Ji Woo said those hurtful things to Seo Joon, he told Pil Hyun he was moving out and left. A journalist comes to the door and tells Seo Joon about the photo of him and Ji Woo and apologizes for taking it and sharing it with Hyung Ki. Ji Woo meets with Hyung Ki to try to pay him off himself, but then Seo Joon joins them, pays Hyung Ki the blackmail money, and asks Ji Woo to come home with him. At first Ji Woo pushes Seo Joon away again, and Seo Joon almost leaves, but he comes back and tells Ji Woo he suspects that he returns his feelings. “If it’s hard for you, I’ll go to you,” he tells a crying Ji Woo, then he strides over and kisses him.

Episode 9: Seo Joon and Ji Woo are together! Hyung Ki has a final meeting with Ji Woo in which, not for the first time, he insults him and admits he has feelings for him at the same time. He says he’ll pay the money back eventually. Various people express their disapproval of Hyung Ki for good measure. Aside from that, this episode is just a lovely ball of fluff with references to various events leading up to their relationship and ending with a truly sublime intimate scene.

Overview

Episodes 7 and 8 represent a shift from capturing relatively subtle relationship developments to being more plot-driven and portraying more dramatic moments in the central relationship. The main way in which the more plot-heavy storylines (the resolution of Seo Joon’s scandal and Hyung Ki's blackmail plot) end up mattering for the relationship story is that they give Ji Woo and Seo Joon reasons to face challenges together and position them in opposition to other characters, both of which reinforce their bond. The other characters also sometimes act as foils that point out important things about the connection between them. Then we get to enjoy the finale, which is about 80% fluff. But just because the relationship stuff in episode 9 is fluffy doesn’t mean it doesn’t also reveal quite a few things about the characters and how they relate to each other.

Before we get into what happens with Seo Joon and Ji Woo in these episodes and what it tells us about their relationship, their personalities, and their habitual ways of behaving in relationships, let’s cover what happens with the green shoe person, Yang In Woo, and Hyung Ki. That way, we can end on a more positive, relationship-focused note.

Something bad happened

First, we find out who the green shoes belonged to! Her name is Seo Yeon and she works for a company called Vaspatch U.S.A. She took the photo of Seo Joon and Ji Woo and shared it with Hyung Ki, but at least she came to tell Seo Joon and apologized afterward. Oh, and she went to the restaurant to cuss out Hyung Ki in English, and he responds in kind. I usually enjoy out-of-nowhere English in a kdrama, especially if it involves profanity. Hyung Ki really has it coming, too. So I always enjoy that scene.

You already have everything

In episode 7, Seo Joon invites Yang In Woo, the friend who was involved in the incident with him that led to his scandal, over to talk. He’s full of bluster at first, then tries to convince Seo Joon that he should let him lie about what happened to make himself look better because, well, Seo Joon has had a good career and In Woo hasn’t and he basically feels like it’s his turn and Seo Joon should “share” with him. Seo Joon isn’t OK with this, and he’s really firm with In Woo in a way. But he still offers to compromise and say they had a mutual fight. This is probably, at least in part, a concession so that he can avoid releasing the CCTV recording in which he has a visible panic attack. But it’s also an attempt to compromise with someone he always thought was his friend. When In Woo won’t even make that much of a concession, he calls and tells someone—my guess is it’s Yoon Seul, but it could be Pil Hyun or someone else from the management office—to release the recording. Just in case we had any doubt that he was a total dick, In Woo then tries to trigger Seo Joon’s panic disorder by jostling the table, causing glass stuff to rattle together.

There is something you could say in In Woo’s favor, though. When the recording gets released, we finally get to see what happened. In Woo started a fight with other patrons at the restaurant, causing some glass to break which in turn triggers Seo Joon to have a panic attack. Most of the details are damning for In Woo, except for one. Before the fight, the other patrons are talking shit about someone, saying that this famous person isn’t so great in person. Given how much more famous Seo Joon is than In Woo, it seems pretty certain that they were talking about him. Seo Joon asked In Woo not to cause a scene, and he didn’t listen. The incident is still clearly his fault. But at least we know that he was protective enough of Seo Joon at one time to want to fight three strangers for badmouthing him.

This situation implies some interesting things about Seo Joon. He tells In Woo, “I…saw you as a better person than you really are.” Perhaps Seo Joon has a tendency to idealize the people he’s close to. It would be consistent with how much he values relationships and needs to have people around him. He’s also pretty soft-hearted when it comes to those he cares about, so it’s helpful to him that In Woo continues to behave in such a shitty manner. When he refuses to compromise, he says, “It’s a relief. You’re bad til the end.” If In Woo had been less of an asshole, he might have been tempted to compromise with him or felt guilty for not doing so. But In Woo did him a sort of unintentional favor by being so selfish and intransigent. Now Seo Joon doesn’t have to feel conflicted.

Let’s also live a little easier

Hyung Ki has mostly just been pining at Ji Woo up to this point. While it’s easy to find him annoying, as characters often are when we’re waiting for a couple to get together and this other person has the audacity to be in love with one of them, he hasn’t done anything wrong as far as we can tell (despite some mysterious hints). Well, in the last part of the series, Hyung Ki shows his true colors, and they aren’t pretty.

When Hyung Ki finally tries to open up to Ji Woo, three things come out. 1) He has feelings for Ji Woo, 2) he’s very conscious of having more status than Ji Woo and it bothers him that Ji Woo doesn’t seem to feel insecure about this, and 3) he realizes that he has ridden on Ji Woo’s coattails because, well, Ji Woo has more talent as a chef than he does. Let’s drill down on these a bit.

First, let’s talk about Hyung Ki’s feelings for Ji Woo. Hyung Ki seems like he’s been pining for Ji Woo in silence for quite some time—possibly for years. When Pil Hyun asked about Ji Woo’s current restaurant, he asked if he was working with “the same guy from the other restaurant.” It seems like they’ve been coworkers, at the very least, for a good while. Hyung Ki doesn’t quite come out and say that he has feelings for Ji Woo, but he makes it quite clear. When he first suggests they blackmail Seo Joon to save the restaurant from going under, he puts his hand on Ji Woo’s and says, “Ji Woo, you’ve known me for longer. Him, he doesn’t really matter to you…right?” He’s so pathetic in that moment that out of context, it might be tempting to root for him. When Ji Woo comes to get his things and say goodbye for good, Hyung Ki pauses and says in a small, subdued voice, “I just wanted to be close with you.” Like so many characters in media, he was complacent about the person he liked and then, when a rival showed up, he suddenly felt more urgency. But it was too late, the competition was too stiff, and given the next item on the list, maybe he’s been treating Ji Woo in a low-key shitty way for too long.

It’s too bad Hyung Ki can’t just tell Ji Woo about his feelings directly and leave it at that. It would be best if he would, even if Ji Woo doesn’t feel the same way. But Hyung Ki seems to feel compelled to throw in the second item on the list: he’s very conscious of having more status than Ji Woo, but Ji Woo doesn’t show deference or seem to doubt himself in relation to Hyung Ki, and that bothers him. Hyung Ki isn’t actually better than Ji Woo in any way. But Hyung Ki seems to have bought into some cultural ideas about status to a great extent—possibly because if being rich and having a fancy education make you superior, that makes him superior to most people. We know that Ji Woo is actually incredibly self-conscious about things like being on his own without a family, but it doesn’t seem like Hyung Ki gets to see that side of him, perhaps because he doesn’t trust him enough to show it. Hyung Ki has a kind of rage about Ji Woo’s apparent lack of regard for his status that seems to have been festering and seething under the surface for some time, and finally comes to the surface given the strain of his family’s bankruptcy and his jealousy about Ji Woo’s growing bond with Seo Joon.

Hyung Ki also seems to realize, and even occasionally admits, that Ji Woo is actually the superior chef between the two of them. Not only that, but much of the praise and status Hyung Ki has gained from the restaurant is really due to Ji Woo’s talents, and he’s very aware of that as well. When other people say he’s better than Ji Woo because he studied in Italy and so forth, he tries to protest (politely), but he doesn’t really stand up to them. When he admits that Ji Woo was the one who came up with their menu, it doesn’t sound like it’s something he usually acknowledges out loud. It seems like Hyung Ki doesn’t like taking credit for Ji Woo’s work or being touted as better than him while knowing the opposite is true. But he still has his status-conscious side, which might explain why he tolerates it as much as he does. That same part of him seems to resent Ji Woo for being so talented, too.

When Ji Woo refuses to take part in his blackmail plan, Hyung Ki voices his contempt for Ji Woo in really insulting terms before calming down enough to make an indirect confession and a plea for Ji Woo to stay by his side and abandon Seo Joon. (He doesn’t seem to notice how weird it is to switch so abruptly from one to the other.) Hyung Ki references the fact that Ji Woo came up with all of their recipes, but only to try to convince him to try to keep the restaurant going instead of having to start over at another restaurant. Later, when Ji Woo comes to take his leave and proposes that they could “go back to how things were,” Hyung Ki voices all three of these feelings/sets of beliefs. Both times, Hyung Ki didn’t have any hope of getting Ji Woo to choose him instead of Seo Joon. But they could have remained on good terms and Hyung Ki wouldn’t have dug himself even deeper into a bitter, entitled hole if he had just talked about how he felt about Ji Woo, refrained from openly disrespecting him, and made the slightest gesture toward making amends.

It’s no wonder Ji Woo couldn’t return Hyung Ki’s feelings. Those feelings were too tainted by resentment and contempt to lead to anything real. Seo Joon, in contrast, has an even greater kind of status as a celebrity, along with more money, but has never held it over Ji Woo’s head…well, he did hold his wealth over his head a bit when they first met, generally in response to a perceived slight. But he hasn’t done it once since they really started to bond. Hyung Ki’s faults help to highlight one of Seo Joon’s strengths.

One thing that really stood out to me about Hyung Ki is the way he responds when Ji Woo isn’t willing to blackmail Seo Joon with him. At this point, Ji Woo still can’t believe Hyung Ki is actually considering doing something so repulsive. He says things like, “Are you saying this sincerely?” and, “You’re not being serious, right?” He sincerely thought that Hyung Ki was better than this. If Hyung Ki were looking at things more clearly, he’d see that this is actually a sign that Ji Woo thinks well of him—or at least, that he used to. But the chip on his shoulder and his defensiveness about the fact that he really is the kind of person who would do such a terrible thing makes him look at it in a distorted way. “You’re making me look like trash,” he says with a creepy smile on his face. Of course, Ji Woo didn’t really do that. Hyung Ki made himself look that way by acting like trash. Now Ji Woo is holding a mirror up to him through his reaction, so Hyung Ki is lashing out at him. It takes a certain kind of self-centered person to be so indignant when someone points out that they’re doing harm—to act wounded by the fact that someone has pointed out the way they’re wounding others.

When I’m with you, I feel like I’ll be put in danger

Right up until the point where they finally get together, Ji Woo’s avoidant/dismissing attachment and distancer tendencies act as barriers to his getting together with Seo Joon. Thankfully, by the end, they’re able to overcome his fears together.

Episode 6 cut off the confession scene at the point where Seo Joon says, “I’m even more certain as I face you. I’m not joking. I want to kiss you even when I’m not drunk. Let’s date.” The scene picks back up in episode 7 with Ji Woo’s reaction. Until you have a moment to think about it, his response seems out of left field. “Do you pity me?” he asks Seo Joon. “Do you pity me because I don’t have anything and live off people? You heard from Kim Pil Hyun. You’re the same as everyone else. Just because I’m struggling to meet ends…by myself! You’re pitying me.”

This is such an inaccurate guess as to be a kind of non sequitur. Seo Joon has never shown any sign of seeing Ji Woo differently because his family isn’t around anymore, or of looking down on him in any way. Anyway, pretending to be in love with someone because you pitied them in such a way would be bizarre. But Ji Woo isn’t saying this because he believes it on a rational level. He’s saying it because Seo Joon’s earnest confession is scaring the crap out of him, and it’s matching up in his mind with one of his other biggest fears when it comes to his relationships—a fear so big that it’s an integral part of why he’s afraid to let others in in the way Seo Joon is urging him to in that moment. In other words, Ji Woo is afraid of intimacy in general, and part of that is because he’s afraid that if he gets close to other people, they’ll turn out to pity him—or look down on him, or eventually reject him—because of the losses he’s suffered, his isolation, or his lack of resources. That fear is activated in that moment, along with related ones, and it becomes something he can throw at Seo Joon to push him away.

Seo Joon may not grasp all of this, but he can see that Ji Woo is emotionally dysregulated in a big way, and he knows that his confession caused it, no matter how well-intentioned it was. He’s particularly culpable since he persisted when Ji Woo had already given him signals to back off, even if his justifications in those moments were as flimsy as this one. So he apologizes. He hugs Ji Woo, even though he tries to throw him off, and says in a quiet voice, “You know that’s not true. You know very well….I only thought of myself. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Ji Woo relaxes in his arms and stays in the hug for a while, and the scene cuts off. He hasn’t responded favorably to Seo Joon’s confession, but after that first attempt at resistance, he has at least responded to the way he’s holding him.

I’ve never really settled on what I think about Seo Joon’s apology until now, but in light of this rewatch and the more detailed examination of the story I’ve been doing during it, I think I get it. Or at least, I have an interpretation that makes sense to me.

Seo Joon starts by denying what Ji Woo said, with good reason. I like that he tells Ji Woo that he already knows it isn’t true. I’m sure he does know that, at least on some level. Seo Joon isn’t wasting time trying to protest or prove Ji Woo wrong here. He trusts that Ji Woo gets it already, he just needs to calm down and give it a moment’s thought. Then he says, “I only thought of myself.” It’s true that while we always hope that telling someone we like them will make them happy, and there’s an extent to which it could be viewed as a kind of compliment, it’s also generally something we do because we want something (even if all we’re hoping for is just not to have bottle up our feelings any longer). I think Seo Joon gets this. But I also wonder if he’s more prone to apologize after something like this because his own relationship baggage makes him worry that expressing his feelings to others will be burdensome to them. Either way, all of this adds up to Seo Joon being sorry. Then he says, “I won’t do it again.” If he means he won’t declare his feelings to Ji Woo again, this is an obvious lie. But it’s also possible that he means that he won’t do it in the same persistent way after seeing signs that Ji Woo can’t handle it.

The next time Ji Woo hurts Seo Joon, he’s intentionally pushing him away and his reason, at least in part, is trying to protect Seo Joon from Hyung Ki’s blackmail attempt. It isn’t much of a stretch for him to act the part, though, since he’s been pushing Seo Joon away all along, and it’s not as if his fears on that front have been allayed. Ji Woo’s first attempt at pushing Seo Joon away seems a bit on the calculated side. “W: Thinking about things…it was disgusting,” he says. A stunned Seo Joon just says, “What?” “Everything that happened between us,” Ji Woo replies. “Thinking about it made me feel disgusted.” On an emotional level, this seems like Ji Woo trying to get things over with by coming at Seo Joon hard with a deeply hurtful comment and, metaphorically speaking, taking him out at the knees. Why is this such a cruel thing to say? Mostly because it sounds homophobic, so it’s bound to hit Seo Joon right where it hurts. Telling someone you have feelings for them and having them react with homophobic disgust is a total nightmare scenario for queer people. It’s also cruel because, well, having the person you’re in love with to find you repulsive is especially painful no matter what their reasons might be. My guess is that Ji Woo is talking this way because he thinks that it’ll be easier for both of them if it’s over quickly. It does work, for a moment. Seo Joon usually has a comeback for everything, but these words hit him hard enough that he just stands there, reeling, for a few seconds. But Seo Joon is persistent enough, and sufficiently convinced that Ji Woo returns his feelings, that this isn’t enough to completely discourage him. He suspects, correctly, that this is about something else, because it represents such a big shift from what he’s heard from Ji Woo before.

So Ji Woo tries again and takes a different tack, and in the process, he says something really telling. “When I’m with you,” he says, “I feel like I’ll be put in danger.” I think this statement is a lot more honest than the first. It’s not hard to see why. Ji Woo has been responding to Seo Joon’s overtures in ways that betray his fear of intimacy for a while now. When Seo Joon does things that make him start to feel close to him or that tempt him to let him get even closer, this really does feel dangerous to Ji Woo. The irony is that the more Seo Joon makes Ji Woo feel safe, the more he poses a “risk” in this way. The more Seo Joon does things right, the more he shows that he’s trustworthy and sincere and that his feelings for Ji Woo are real and strong, the scarier he becomes. So Ji Woo simply voices the fear he’s been feeling all along, in its strongest form. This hits Seo Joon hard, because the last thing he wants to do is make Ji Woo feel scared. He wants to take care of him, not freak him out.

At the end of episode 8, when the blackmail situation has been resolved and Seo Joon’s scandal has blown over, Ji Woo tries to push Seo Joon away yet again. He alludes to his fear of being controlled (“I told you I didn’t want to be taken in”), then tries one of his favorite excuses, dismissing the sincerity of Seo Joon’s interest in him.

You’re going to leave soon anyway. You were just bored and the only person around was me, so you played around with me! Stop it now…it’s fine. Go live with people that suit you. Don’t disturb the wrong guy. Everything is solved now [meaning Seo Joon’s scandal], so you can leave quickly. Right? You can go to your own house….I want you to hurry and leave.

“I really wasn’t playing. I’m serious,” Seo Joon answers. “You still want me to really leave?” Ji Woo says yes. So Seo Joon grabs his bag, walks past him, reaches the door, and leaves.

Ji Woo used the same narrative again, the one that says that Seo Joon is just an incurable flirt who had nothing better to do than steal Ji Woo’s heart for fun. It’s manifestly false, but his conviction that someone like Seo Joon couldn’t possibly have feelings of this sort toward him makes it somewhat more convincing. In the end, it’s somewhat moot, since he doesn’t need an ironclad story. All he needs is a moderately convincing excuse to push Seo Joon away so he won’t have take the risks associated with admitting to himself that he loves Seo Joon and Seo Joon loves him back.

As soon as Seo Joon has his back to him and can’t see him anymore, Ji Woo starts crying—silently, but intensely. When he hears the door click shut, he staggers a couple of steps toward it, as if he wants to follow Seo Joon. But he can only make this small gesture of approaching him when he knows the door is already shut. It seems the only way Ji Woo is able to make a gesture that shows he wants to be with Seo Joon after all is if he feels certain that Seo Joon won’t find out about it.

That’s why it’s so important that Seo Joon comes back—which brings us to his side of things.

If it’s hard for you

In my posts so far, I’ve focused more on Ji Woo’s distancer tendencies and apparent avoidant attachment style than on anything that’s going on with Seo Joon (though I’ve touched on his habitual pursuer status a bit). There are a couple of main reasons for this, I think.

One is the fact that in a piece of romance media, we naturally tend to root for whoever is trying to make the relationship happen. After all, it’s what we’re here for. It’s also a foregone conclusion, due to genre conventions, that the couple will fall in love and more than likely, will end up together. So if one person is getting us closer to that goal and one is standing in the way, we’re more likely to focus on what’s keeping that person stuck and less likely to ask ourselves why the other one is chasing after him so hard. I also think the storyline of season 1 is set up in a way that happens to particularly emphasize Ji Woo’s baggage. (We’ll see if season 2 looks different in this regard—I think it might.)

But Seo Joon has his own specific soft spots and weaknesses. For one thing, like most pursuers, he behaves as if he wants to get as close to his (potential) partner as possible, but deep down, he also has a fear of intimacy (although he doesn’t want to acknowledge it). One way that he avoids getting more intimacy than he can handle is by falling for an obvious distancer, making it less likely that he’ll “catch” the person he’s pursuing more often than he can handle. In effect, when a pursuer and a distancer get together, they’re making a kind of unspoken pact. The pursuer agrees to hold the need for intimacy for both of them, since they feel comfortable with that side of themselves. The distancer agrees to hold the need for separateness for both of them, since that’s a side of themselves that they feel comfortable with. The pursuer then gets to disavow their own need for separateness/fear of intimacy and the distancer gets to disavow their need for intimacy/fear of abandonment.

Seo Joon also shows signs of an anxious or preoccupied attachment style. But while I can see glimmers of this in season 1, especially in these last three episodes, I don’t think it’s the right time to get into that quite yet. The main thing to note, for now, is that just as Ji Woo’s distancing is related to his attachment style, Seo Joon’s pursuing is related to his.

One big area where anxious/preoccupied attachment and pursuer tendencies overlap has to do with where the person normally turns when they need to regulate their emotions. As I quoted Harriet Lerner saying in my overview post about pursuer/distancer dyads, pursuers “react to anxiety by seeking greater togetherness in a relationship,” while distancers “seek emotional distance or physical space when stress is high.” (cite?) Similarly, people with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style tend to get stressed out when they have to spend time alone, and this is definitely true of Seo Joon.

Let’s look at some examples. When Seo Joon first comes to stay at Ji Woo’s house, he’s crestfallen when he finds out that Ho Min has other duties during his first day there and thus can’t spend the day with him. Soon after this, he finds an excuse to follow Ji Woo to his restaurant. He just really hates to be alone!

Soon after he and Ji Woo get together, Ji Woo has to go back to the restaurant to pick up his things and take his leave. Seo Joon is reluctant to let Ji Woo go in the first place. When he insists it's necessary, he relents, but texts him the entire time he’s gone. When Ji Woo checks his phone while talking to Hyung Ki, he sees the following:

“Where are you?” “Are you OK?” “Why aren’t you coming?” “Did something happen?”

As Ji Woo heads home, we see Seo Joon sitting on the floor in front of the door staring at the door. That’s how eager he is to see Ji Woo and how uninterested he is in doing anything without him.

Now that I think about it, it's really remarkable that Seo Joon asks Pil Hyun and Ho Min to go celebrate without him after Ji Woo says those awful things to him in episode 8. It goes to show just how heartbroken he is that he voluntarily sits around by himself.

Seo Joon also seeks more time and closeness with Ji Woo in other ways. On their second day as a couple, Seo Joon proposes that they continue living together. He’s basically the lesbian from that old joke who shows up at a first date with her stuff in a U-Haul, ready to move in. Part of this is undoubtedly because they’ve already been living together for a little while, but it’s still remarkably early in their relationship for such a step.

Possibly the most quintessentially pursuer-ish thing Seo Joon does in the first season is what he says to Seo Joon just before they finally get together. “Ji Woo,” he says, “if it’s hard for you, I’ll go to you.” This offer makes a pretty great summary of what pursuers have to offer in relationships. Pursuers seldom make this offer so explicitly, but they generally find a way to communicate to their distancer that they’ll generally be the ones to come to them in order to make closeness happen, allowing them to experience intimacy even though seeking it is “hard for [them].”

This is what Ji Woo needed in this case, and Seo Joon gave it willingly. We don’t see what happens right after their first kiss, but it’s clear that Seo Joon broke the ice sufficiently for Ji Woo to show his feelings in return so that their relationship could get off the ground. We get to enjoy some adorable fluff and that masterful intimate scene, and then the story ends. Until the beginning of season 2, of course.

I'll be starting season 2 soon, so watch this space!

Thanks yet again to @my-rose-tinted-glasses for being an amazing resource for talking about this show, for encouragement, and just being a lovely human being. Her insights permeate everything I've written in these posts, but at the same time, I couldn't even capture half of them. Thanks to the giffers as always, including @paisky, @captnswilson, @mostlyfate, and @seatawinan.

#to my star #revisiting TMS #psychology of bl #pursuer distancer dynamic #family systems theory #hwang da seul #han ji woo #kang seo joon #kim kang min #son woo hyun #seo joon x ji woo

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