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#make the steps to have the life you want
demenior · 5 months
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questions I think would be fun to be asked: 12, 15, and/or 33 🫶
12. what’s some good advice you want to share?
Do it scared.
15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?
Somewhere where I don't want to spend my free time in my room. Also, Edmonton.
33. any hobbies?
god i wish. I pick up and drop hobbies on whims. I'll probably return to them at some point, but the list would include (I'm countng things I went and bought specific items to Do said "hobby" for or have a half-completed project for):
video games, embroidery, sewng (of my own clothes), painting, baking (bread and/or desserts), crocheting, digital art, making graphic novels, writing, podcasting, soccer, kyaking, playing dnd, guitar, beer tasting, ukulele, editing (for creative writing), wine tasting and manicures (ie gel polish).
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shower-phantom-ideas · 11 months
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Bruh emotional support ghost kid? Well thats what they are calling him
Suicide cases in gothem are about to fucking plummet boiz cause this one weird blue eyes, black haired boy is now heading to your location.
How does he know where to be? Having a bad day and are all alone? No the fuck your not cause don’t turn around now but theres some shiny blue eyes coming at you from that dark ally. Oh shit hes here to drop some information about you and your lost loved ones that he should know. Oh god the closure. How could you have been afraid on this sweet, creepy, boy who just helped you find your way.
Meanwhile Danny is chillin in Gothem cause the GIW hate it there (none of they equipment actually functions in Gothem so it’s either super haunted or actually not haunted at all). Then all of a sudden he gets approached by a random ghost begging for his help because their sweet baby girl is about to do something horrible. Oops now all the ghosts are following their most loved ones around just to make sure they are there to rush to Danny for help when all else fails. Now hes getting to fulfil his protection obsession double time because one hes helping protect people from themselves and two hes protecting everyone in Gothem by stopping people from becoming villains for revenge. Plus he gets to see first hand how hes making a difference because all those people he saved are sending him some good vibes from all across Gothem.
Thank god he followed Jazz around so much to slightly absorb some of her phycology knowledge over the years. Plus it was actually pretty interesting so she gave him her old text books. Shes also helping him deal with the rare events where he can’t save someone. Just a moment too late or he stops them but they later succeeded in the hospital. Neither are his fault. Now only if he could convince his core of that.
Anyway why Gothem you ask? Amity Park would have been just as good tbh but imagine Batmans face when he finally gets to be face to face with the emotional support ghost boy. Why is he here? Bruce is fine. Batman is fine. Hes not gonna do anything crazy. It’s just a hard time of year. Around their death always gives him grief. But hes an adult and can manage it.
“You know they are so proud of you.” The boy states. As if it’s clear as day, even though it’s Gothem and never a clear day. Batman blinks at him, stunned for a moment. “What?” This boy can’t possibly know that. No one will ever know that, Bruce can only hope. “They see their home, full of such life. That big house that felt so empty, so cold, to them as well for years. Then you filled it with Family and Love like they had always wanted for you. They are so proud of what you have turned it into. Somewhere full of life and warmth.” A small smile graces his face as finally “you have made your parents so proud” and its all he can do to contain himself. Emotions are running high and sue him because he really did need to hear that ok. The boy suddenly looks to Bruces right with a confused face “aren’t all basements like that though?” Before Bruce can even get a word in hes gone. Just vanished before his eyes.
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star--nymph · 3 months
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Vivienne's fear being 'becoming irrelevant' isn't something that's linked explicitly to her pride, no matter what Solas says about her (and the irony of Mr.Pride himself saying that should not be lost on you), it reveals what and who Vivienne truly is.
She's a survivalist.
Because we don't spend as much time in the Free Marches or Orlesian circles, we don't get to experience what being a mage is in these cultures. In Ferelden and Kirkwall, a mage is a lesser being without freedom no matter what they do--but in the Free Marches and Orlais specifically, mages are commodities that are given freedom so long as they play an entertaining enough role. They can explore the world if they have a noble patron, if they catch the right person's eye. They are, in a way, two sides of the same coin--refusing mages agency and forcing them to relay on higher powers. Vivienne lucked out, as sad as it is, when Bastion fell in love with her; she found someone who was contrarian enough to recognize her as a full person and also someone with power that could help her rise through the ranks. This is not to say that Vivienne on her own wasn't an exceedingly talented and intelligent individual--by nineteen she was already the youngest full fledged mage in Circle history and she was skilled enough to make herself an enchanter. But, I can not emphasize this enough, none of that matters if she didn't also play the Game and impress enough people.
Vivienne could have been the most brilliant mage in the history of Thedas and it means nothing if she was overlooked by nobility.
So when Bastion made her his mistress, she gained not just a lover but also a means to an end. Now she can use her magic to protect herself. Now she can roam where she wants and not be question for it because she's Madame Vivienne. Now, she can walk into the Orlasian court and belong there.
And what happens? Celene notices her and makes her the Court Enchanter, a position that has always been the equivalent of a jester. Vivienne took that title, ignored that it was essentially a glorified insult to who she is, and made it a position of power. She made the Court Enchanter into an advisor, a political rank. She had done the impossible and made mages an actual political entity in the Orlasian Court, something that wasn't seen outside of Tervinter (not counting what players can do under very specific conditions if they made mages in DAO and DA2).
All that, however, only continues as long as the court recognizes her as something worth their attention. Vivienne needs to maintain her act as Madame De Fer, The Lady of Iron, the Court Enchanter, The Jewel of the High Court, because the second she just becomes Vivienne, it's over for her. The assassins coming raining in, her name gets devoured by rumors and gossip, and she'll be found dead at bottom of the stair case with a dagger in her back if she's lucky.
So of course when the Circles fall apart during the Rebellion, she clings to that Loyalist Mages to maintain that structure--of course she moves her pieces to the Inquisition, knowing that if the Circle DOES fall, she at least as another place for herself and mages latch onto--of course when she hears that Celene replaced her with a new Court Enchanter that appeared out of no where, she grows to resent Morrigan.
Like, Morrigan literally pops up out of thin air, makes herself invaluable to Celene, and then plants herself in the place Vivienne had to claw her way up to and create so she could survive. Would you not be resentful when your life's work is usurped by some random witch of the wilds because she happened to charm the Empress? Everything Vivienne strived for all whisked away because the court find a gem who glimmers ever so slightly more than Vivienne.
So yes, Vivienne fears becoming irrelevant because the world has made it so that irrelevance for an Orlesian mage means death.
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emdotcom · 3 months
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Yeah, so while I was on my "I'm going to read into Vanny/Vanessa as much as possible" journey, I noticed an odd quirk in her animations in how she moves. At first, I thought it reminded me of a ballerina, 'cause she's kinda tip-toeing, & she has this way of keeping her head & chest in one place as she moves, but I looked again & realized --
That's not ballet! She's doing a tight-rope act. Like, look at this one:
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This is like standing up on the wooden boards before you do the actual tight-rope walking, & the ring leader is hyping you up as you do some fun movement for the crowds. &, then, these:
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These are all instances where she walks with one foot directly in front of the other. In that third, she's doing the "woaaah" wiggly-ass balance movements & everything, as if she's swaying up at the top of the tent, even though she's down on solid ground.
Idk, I feel like the way her feet are placed isn't accurate (pretty sure they should be pointed left & right, not both forwards...) doesn't make this 100% correct, but I like it. It also connects back with her first SB teaser, wherein she's up in the rafters.
#em.txt#security breach#fnaf sb#vanny#vannessa#okay but you can read more into this. tightrope acts are almost always associated with circus performances#& we know afton enjoyed himself a circus themeing -- made the whole circus baby peanut gallery & he was also a massive clown#see he's like molding her into one of his performers where he is the ring leader calling the shots#& she is the tightrope walker that the crowd watches with baited breath to see if she falls or makes it across#tightrope walking has also been associated with walking a line between two different worlds or extremes#so on one end she wants to obey afton & comply in killing & on the other she wants to hold onto her life as it was#& she's in the middle trying to not step too far to either side or else she's gonna fall & there is no safety net for her#there's also like. in ruin the vanni mask obscures reality. the vr world is completely different.#if vanny's mask has that tech in it then she's constantly stuck in vr. to her it may actually not look like#stable ground. it may look like she's miles up in the air about to fall. because that's what the glitch needs her to see#because if she saw that wherever she next planted her food foot was safe stable ground she might not be so anxious to keep on#moving down this path#wait hold on is this all an optical illusion & I'm seeing it wrong is it the angle#IT'S TOO LATE THE POST IS MADE HIT POST#did i just pull a matpat misread a minor detail & extrapolate unintended overly detailed info#that is inherently untrue bc the detail it's based on isn't there/is incorrect?#see this is why the game theory channel should have gone to me i can do this matpat bullhonkus no prob bob!
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transgenderboobs · 3 months
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something that really Gets Me about dungeon meshi is how like. the narrative is so Kind to everyone.
characters will fuck up and do unkind things and hurt each other and do things that are horrifying and the plot will still kind of hold out its hand to them all and say hey. let's share a meal together and talk it out. let's just rest for a minute. you deserve gentleness, we can figure this out together if we take care of ourselves
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mellosdrawings · 2 months
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How do you do hands so well!?💀
I cheat lol
Ok, so that's a half truth half lie. Here's a few tuto, one about hand composition, one to teach you how to make a hand from scratch, and one to tell you that sometimes, in art, you gotta simplify your life.
First, hand composition:
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Red: palm shape and fingers size
From above, the palm will look like a pentagon, a bit wider towards the fingers, with the middle finger being the peak higher than the others. You can replicate that little knuckles hill at the end of the fingers. Fingers' size depends wildly on the person, some have palms longer than their fingers, others have fingers longer than their palms. For a base ref, make palm and fingers as long as each other and move the fingers' length from there.
From the side, the palm will look like a trapeze, base wider than the top.
From the front, the palm will never be completely flat! At rest, it will curve inward slightly. Draw a lump for the general shape.
Orange: fingers
From above, fingers tend to fan out at rest.
From the side, keep following the line of the top part of your hand. The inner side of the fingers will be straighter though. Fingers are composed of three mostly equal parts (the last one might be shorter depending on the person).
Blue: thumb
People tend to forget the thumb is surprisingly mobile! Unlike fingers that can only close and spread, thumbs can move forward and backward, up and down, and make actual rotations!
The base of the thumb will take at least half of the palm's side, but extra skin to allow movement will make it look like it take more space. Just like other fingers, it's actually composed of three parts. The thumb will usually be just a tad longer than the base knuckles of the other fingers (but as said before, fingers size change depending on the person).
Brown: knuckles and wrist
For the knuckles, you can make little elongated pyramids at the top of your palm shape. They will always follow the line of the fingers.
The inner part of the wrist will be mostly straight or curved inward, but the outer side should have a bump due to the ulna bone. Sometimes I place it as a hill, sometimes as a circle.
Second, the messy tuto:
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1. Movement
First you should always draw a shitty shape indicating the general position and movements of your hand. Don't bother with proportions or details, you just wanna be able to tell what you want your hand to be doing.
2. Palm shape
Start by detailing your palm. Try to highlight where the fingers and the wrist will be. Refer to the hand composition above for the general shape.
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3. Fingers implantation
Separate the top of your hand in four mostly equal circles for the base of your fingers, and the side of your palm in a roughly rounded triangle for your thumb. Once more, refer to the hand composition above.
4. Fingers
Place the three parts of all your fingers more or less following the initial shape/movement you wanted to go for. Fingers should be roughly the same size as your palm, but you can vary the length as no two people have the same hands.
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5. General shape
Once you have placed all your finger parts, you will be able to draw them and connect them to your palm. Don't hesitate to start making adjustments starting from this step.
6. Details
Nails are, just like fingers, very different depending on the person. Globally you can put either an oval or a rounded rectangle on top of your fingers. You can make them longer after the finger for effeminate or well kept nails.
Add pyramids at the base of your fingers to place your knuckles and a circle or a pyramid on the outer side of your wrist to place your ulna bone.
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7. Finish
Add details, adjust sizes, remove extra lines, and you have a hand.
Ok. Now, that technique I just showed you? Don't use it. No, I'm serious. Don't use it for hands that are part of the main focus. Do it for background characters or doodles or training or comics panels where hands aren't that important.
For illustration and panels with a focus on your character's hands, use the following technique instead.
Third, how to make your life easier as an illustrator:
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1. Reference
Yes. That's how you make good hands. You take a pic of your own hand doing the pose you want to use as reference.
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2. Palm
Just as the tuto explained before, you start by finding the shape of your palm on the pic and try to replicate it. It might be a bit difficult at first to copy proportions properly, but doing it again and again will make it easier in time. (Also refer to the last part of this post*)
3. Thumb
Usually I'd go for the fingers first, but since the thumb is on the foreground I started with it here. First the implantation with the palm, then the two last parts. (As you can see I have tiny potato hands so I tend to artificially elongate the fingers compared to my reference to have prettier hands).
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4. Fingers
Find the general movement of your fingers. Straight lines for fingers in tension and connected cylinders for fingers flexing.
5. Once you are able to place the general shapes, you will have an easier time copying your own hand. Doing it without the previous steps is feasible when you are used to copying, but if you are new to this I would suggest deconstructing your hand to train your brain into remembering every detail.
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6. Corrections, details, add a little movement if you are into dynamic-art, keep it realistic if you are into realism.
You now have a pretty hand.
Remember : You can (and you should) use references! Normal humans aren't made to remember every single details about everything, especially when those things are as complex as hands (or Gods forbid it buildings and cars and whatever else).
If you struggle with drawing hands, take a pic of your own hand to help. Try to find the big shapes composing your own hand so it'll be easier to yolo another time.
References are your friends! Don't think you're any less of an artist because you need to have your own shoe on your drawing table so you can draw your character's feet!
(*For new artists : TRACE! I'm sure you've heard everywhere that tracing is diabolical and you should never do it. It's FALSE. Tracing helps with your hand-eye coordination. 80% of art is reflex! I no longer need to think about all these steps because I have been drawing for more than 15 years. I started by tracing Winx Club stickers I had one my windows! It helped me have a sense of movements, proportions, and fluid lines.
What you shouldn't do with tracing is post it as your own art! You are free to trace as training, but you should never claim it is your own art.
Other than that, please, trace. Trace your own hands pic to get used to the shape. Trace your favorite artists to understand what you like in their lines or proportions. Trace that damn building because you don't have time to create a whole background from scratch for your webcomic.)
Art is cheating. Always. Don't feel bad for making your life easier.
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@orangerosebush's post here, with my comment and @fowlblue's tags today got me thinking.
Artemis Senior has been teaching his son matters of business from a young age. Not only was Artemis, at 11 years old, discussing stocks with his father, but Fowl Senior had been imparting his wisdom onto his son for years by that point, discussing the ever-increasing value of gold with him before tucking him into bed. Even outside of pure monetary value, Sr. had tried to go legitimate with his business dealings, leading Artemis to have a few legal ventures of his own.
We also see very early on in the books that Artemis has been regularly using Butler as a resource for his plots: bouncing ideas off him was apparently a fairly common tactic when he was scheming.
Both Artemis Senior and Butler are interested in (or at least, not opposed to) educating Artemis on the ways of their lifestyle(s). It would be Artemis Senior who would have taught his son the value of banks and safety deposit boxes and hidden safes but it was Butler who was actively working with Artemis to rob those safety deposit boxes.
In the same vein of breaking-and-entering, TLC also gives us the fun little moment where Butler hands Artemis his own lockpicks, to get into the workings of the bomb.
With one line we learn that Artemis knows how to pick locks, but does not have his own set of lockpicks. Butler, on the other hand, has both the tools and knowledge how to use them. Partnered with a brief mention in TTP of some the specific trades of those previously employed by Artemis Senior (including such things as crime lords, insider traders, and cat burglars), we can extrapolate that Artemis Senior would generally hire someone to pick a lock for him, rather than do so himself.
It's pretty logical to conclude then that Artemis learned big-picture management from his father, and day-to-day skillsets from his bodyguard.
Essentially, Artemis Senior taught Artemis how to run a criminal empire. Butler taught Artemis how to be a criminal.
#artemis fowl#artemis senior#domovoi butler#and this doesn't even get into the aliases butler has!#he clearly has a lot of his own but then Artemis ALSO gets some#'what's our cover' 'i thought Stephan Baskir and his uncle Constantin'#Artemis Sr put his own damn name on the boat he was using to get cola to russia#you know damn well *he* didn't encourage Arty to hide his identity#(i'm not getting into the needs of artemis to hide his identity due to being a child and wanting respect afforded an adult in these tags#that's a rant for a different time)#there's such a prevalent theme of a Fowl saying 'i want X' and their Butler saying 'i know a guy'#(like 80% of the time the Butler would be The Guy but there's that other 20% where having extra contacts would be helpful)#we see it when Artemis asks Butler to make certain arrangements for capturing Holly and then again getting the mirrored contacts#we see Butler arranging car rentals or drivers and apparently needing to do so quite frequently#yet in TTP Sr just says he'll casually take a limousine where he needs to go#it's probably such a huge part of the Fowl-Butler dynamic to have someone who can actually perform all the necessary minutiae of daily crim#or at least know how to or know someone who knows how to#aaaaand now i'm thinking of how the Butlers are essentially disposable#sure death is a thing but how many Butlers were imprisoned for the sake of saving their Fowl the same fate#if someone's gotta take the fall for a crime it might as well be the person who'd take a bullet for the other#once you've already agreed to be on the wrong side of the law and accepted that you may give up your life (physically) for someone#what's taking it a step further and agreeing to give up your life (metaphorically) by languishing in jail for 10-80 yrs
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sukibenders · 15 days
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Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron looking at Alicent after she washes her hands of a war, that she (and Otto) dragged them into, and the throne, that she (and Otto) forced them to grasp/fight over even though they obviously didn't want it, and goes off to live her best life while they are all still stuck in a cycle forced on to them without their input (obviously this is about the s2 final):
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#anti hotd#like....what were they doing with alicent in s2? like-#in s1 they had great foundation for pushing her character and her belief as to why her children would be under threat from just existing#(even if u like rhae- understandable- it's not hard to take a step back & understand some of ali's pov#especially when daemon comes into the picture)#there's buildup for why she's forcing this on to her kids (murky but still) & still shows that she loves them in a complex way#heck there was even room to show her after all this also wanting to be close to the throne trailing into s2 whatever#but then s2 shits on that by making everything that happened in s1 hold no weight & ali (& otto) basically ruin their kids lives#like i like alicent but s2 makes no sense characterwise & makes her just...a bad character overall#like ive always felt bad for her kids bc ali was wrong a lot of times but u understand it bc toxic/complex family relationships where the#love is still there but it's complicated#but now post s2? i feel sorry bc their mother pushed them down a path and then left them to live her life?#HUH!?#fanfic writers save me!#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#heleana targaryen#daeron targaryen#alicent hightower#kind of...anti alicent hightower too?#hotd showrunners really ruined this family & it frustrates me so bad#dni if you can't have a collected conversation about this#like “sorry sweeties mommy wants to makes amends with her childhood crush so rip!”#(& this is from someone who ships rhaenicent)
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in todays news of asinine bullshit discourse on tiktok: apparently there's a hot debate over whether or not you're entitled to nice greetings and conversations with cashiers/retail workers. and. now here's the kicker. whether or not thinking no one's entitled to the pleasantries of an overworked exhausted employee is counterintuitive to the idea of a "third space". yes this is real life
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bedtimegiraffe · 3 months
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Nia has always been a badass- it just takes her a while to put it to use for her own sake
When you first meet Nia, she's running into town asking for help in her pretty, sparkly dress that looks like it would catch on every branch in the world. And she has a pretty low opinion of her fighting skills. Everything about the setup seems to suggest she's going to be a healer you have to focus on protecting.
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And Nia's right, she isn't great at taking care of herself. But not for the reason she thinks! It's not that she's at all weak, physically, mentally, or magically.
I think it's because of her assumption that she can't fight. That she's fragile. And because she initially thinks she's no use in combat, the second Nia's in danger she just gives up and calls for help.
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But the second someone else is in danger? Well, Nia doesn't hesitate. She starts destroying necromantic skeletons, because she's certainly not going to just stand by and let someone get hurt.
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She'll do this as soon as the Temple of Ellara if you screw up. No hesitation, just smashing shadow hounds. Then she's shocked that it worked! Because it didn't occur to her she could help until she did it out of protective instinct.
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It's devastating to Nia when Scholar Vash dies to the Shadow Court. She mourns him. She has a big, well deserved cry about it. But she doesn't stop there. Because other people are in trouble. She immediately goes, "No one else dies. I'm going to kick the Shadow Court's ass. You coming?"
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The team's encouragement, especially MC's, slowly helps Nia see that she can be badass. That she is badass.
And that is how she saves the world. By becoming aware of what she was always capable of. MC has to remind Nia of all she loves and wants to protect in the world to help her resist the Dreadlord. Because that's easier for Nia than fighting for herself.
But it's Nia finding confidence and strength in who she is, separate from her commitment to others, that ultimately lets her save the day.
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Basically, I love the story of this sweet priestess who thinks she's fragile, only to realize she's so powerful and determined she's disrupted the plans of a guy called the Dreadlord.
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Screenshots from my hero, Neckrone Shen on youtube whose 4 playthroughs of Blades have saved me hours of replaying.
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You remember when dick was in space (for the first time with the new teen titans) because komand’r took Kory back and they needed to save her? And you remember how he understood it was a war they were fighting and that they needed to do what they had to in order to survive it? And how when Gar told him he needed to control Kory, dick wondered if he even should try to stop her from killing her sister? And how he literally killed to save her (there’s some deniability but he’s literally hitting them with lasers described as deadly right in the head)? I do.
#something about dick doing this and understanding it’s war and war doesn’t always give you the choice to follow a moral code if you want to#live through it and make sure the one you love make it through too#and something about the change when the scenario called for it being oh so#similar to how Kory tried to pause her own teachings and relationship with combat while on earth#then despite knowing this was the type of battle Kory was raised for#the series had dick talking about how she was becoming more barbaric#and uncontrolled at times#when I think it would have been a much more interesting if they#instead chose to explore dick and Kory’s relationship with this “switch” or coming of age discovery + assimilation side by side#kory learning the balance of her heritage (she is tamaranian no matter what ) and her new life (she’s on earth and the battle there is#not the same solar system wide war she was raised to fight. The things she was taught are true for her home and her people but this is a#new home for her. a new beginning. a new life with new family. She is tamaranian and always will be but for now she’s on earth)#dick leaning to balance his past ( Bruce was his mentor and guide. he taught morality and ethics and all but gave him a what should you do#Guide during their years working together) and who he wants to be#(he’s not Bruce and what Bruce needs or thinks necessary doesn’t always ring true for dick too#he’s stepping into being his own man and part of that is forming his own views and opinions separate from his parent/mentor. Bruce will#never kill or let someone die if he can stop it. but dick? should he step in front of a bullet for a murderer over insuring someone else’s#safety first? his teammates? his families? he doesn’t know if that’s the kind of man he wants to be)#dc#dickkory#anyway#:)#does this make sense to anyone but my 5am running on two hrs of sleep brain#something about both of them being taught something by strict instructors#(the war lords and the bat)#and them learning#as all people have to#that most things are situational#new scenarios call for new things
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winepresswrath · 10 months
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hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?
I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.
So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?
for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.
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pardonmydelays · 3 months
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i have a confession to make: i'm actually doing better than i ever was
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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kinokoshoujoart · 1 year
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scribbled down a relationship chart for the forgotten valley bros to collect my thoughts after snooping into their dialogue files, because i’m crazy over the barebones scraps of tiny interactions between them that we are given they’re a neat group of lads and i want to see them in lots of wacky situations together
rambling explanation and screenshots under the cut. spoilers for dialogue
gordy and gustafa are bffs and i love them!!!!!
they have mutual respect for each other… gustafa clearly admires and understands gordy’s art, and gordy seems to view gustafa as his closest confidant, he even gets you and Gustafa the new kitchen if you enter chapter 2 without being able to “afford” it yourself
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they only really mention each other and don’t have anything to say about the other two boys
no one has anything bad to say about gustafa, which is exactly how it should be. blessed bard. it’s extra sweet to me that he’s the most well-liked bachelor both in and out of the game given one of the npc gossip lines your son can tell you— he grew up without many friends (in the original game the secret was that he was bullied). he deserves all the happiness in the world
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matt opinions
matt shares his Opinions (slander) on gordy and rock specifically if you show him your kid with them, but has no slander for gustafa… his line for gustafa is instead just copied from what he says about the bachelorettes’ kids. so i count that as a gustafa win
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i had to stretch to find any mention of gustafa by matt, the closest thing is that he comments that he doesn’t usually go to the starlight concert
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i want gustafa and matt to interact!!! i want gustafa to give matt a tomato when he’s being gruff like he did with nami (matt: “th-thank you…..*blush* i already have ten billion of these”) matt also has lines about farm work being easier when you’ve got music accompanying you if you show him a record so i’ll count that as a very flimsy positive connection (matt IS friendly with gavin, due to frequenting the bluebird café, but is a bit reticent to make friends on his own)
rock opinions and social diseases
rock is extremely excited about hearing gustafa play music and calls him a wizard at the guitar and says he never gets tired of hearing him play. he also likes wandering over to gustafa’s yurt and listening to his music along with tei on market days (his most normal bachelor to bachelor interaction)
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the only guy who gets no positive comment from rock is matt, instead rock goes to town roasting him in his fourth heart event out of envy for a completely imaginary situation and argues that he’s worth a hundred matthew’s (source?). he also likes to go into the already crowded farmhouse at night on market days and make it even more cramped, but he usually leaves right before matt gets home
finally rock has what i can only describe as a really odd one-sided crush on gordy!! he meanders into gordy’s trailer at 12:45 AM (AM) every market day and loudly, obliviously asks why there’s so much “trash” everywhere (you’re the trash, rock!!!!!!). thankfully rock is quite literally beneath gordy’s notice, however this seems to make rock sad and he tries to come up with wacky stunts to get gordy’s attention like drawing on gordy’s face and… holding his breath? (maybe, i dunno WHERE that dialogue triggers). he has a line celebrating gordy finally noticing him, i’m not sure what causes it though (for his part, gordy has no lines referencing rock)
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finally, if you show rock your kid he will tease them by bragging that he was waaaay cuter at their age… but ONLY if it’s a bachelor’s child. rock your complex is so obvious that it’s more of a simple
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in summary,
rock seems to think highly of each of the guys (except matt), unfortunately this manifests in him making really odd attempts to barge into their houses at strange hours and by trying to assert dominance in annoying ways. thankfully no one really notices anything he does (except matt)
matt doesn’t generally say nice things about anyone except cecilia (which makes the nice things he says, like about nina, more meaningful…) so unsurprisingly he has nothing nice to say about any of the guys, but he doesn’t have anything negative to say about gustafa. however he seems to want friends to do stuff with (he complains about how no one in the valley wants to go swimming…..hhhgg i am desperate to force rock and matt to spend time together. a friendship where you can’t stand each other but you’re the only two people who enjoy doing the same hobby so you put your differences aside and splash around in the water) like with rock no one really seems aware of matt’s existence except rock who is Extrwmely Aware to the point of knowing about matt’s crush on ceci, but unlike rock matt is not exactly jumping at the chance to go socialize with others
gustafa and gordy are friends with each other (and also both are friends with nami) and they support each others ambitions. i have no source but i’m confident that when gustafa visits gordy he’s also bringing him water and soup (he also visits daryl so i think it’s cool and fun if gustafa drops in on the local lost-in-thought creative hermits with hydration reminders and care packages)
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pkmoth · 9 days
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having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself
#what if you felt unbearable guilt because your brother went missing in the two seconds you were separated#and you feel like there mustve been Something you couldve done to prevent it#if only you had stuck together. if only you hadnt let him tag along on your basically-a-suicide-mission in the first place#but none of those things happened so you go through three years blaming yourself#continuing to search for him because maybe hes still out there. and maybe exhausting yourself on an aimless search is a way you can atone#and then you're pulled into this big destiny adventure so your searching is put on the back burner#you're so busy doing important things and meeting new friends and there are points in your adventure where your heart feels lighter#and maybe you open up just a little about the crushing guilt you feel. and your new friends say it wasnt your fault#maybe you start accepting that your brother is really gone but you have to keep living your life#saving your brother was a far out dream but saving the world is something you have the power to do#so you try your best. so you dont fuck up this time#your guilt becomes the fuel keeping you going#and then at the end of your journey#you find out one of the biggest obstacles on your journey#the human chimera that you felt kinda horrified at and a little bad for even as you fought them#is your brother you've been mourning and agonizing over not being able to save#so um. The Guilt is even worse now#now he doesnt just feel responsible for his death. he Now feels responsible for him becoming this Creature Thing under porkys control#and in a lucas dies scenario. hoogh i cant imagine how claus would feel after that.......#however the thing that spurred this post was thinking about the lucas lives postgame scenario (it just got a bit out of hand lol) so.#your brother is alive and back home again and youre so unbelievably glad#but the guilt still creeps up every time you see how much hes Changed. physically and mentally#you had just started to accept the fact youd have to live without your brother but somehow having him back is almost just as painful#things cant just go back to how they were before. youll never be the exact same happy family as you used to be#its strange adjusting to having lucas back and its strange trying not to step on each others toes with their trauma#you cant help but be clingy because you couldnt bear it if he disappeared again under your watch#but nobody wants to be watched all the time especially when youre recovering from your brainwashed identity as an army commander#FUCK I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT I WANTED TO RAMBLE MORE AUGH. THEY MAKE ME SO ILL. i swear its not all angst theres some lightheartedness in it#mother 3 swap au#mothfics
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