#man i'm experimenting with lighting and i'm actually kind of happy with how this turned out while i was messing around

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

My heart is yours

a/n I know this ain't TLOU gif but I had to. Look how this man could hold you. Anyways... happy reading. This just came out of nowhere.

summary: Jackson doesn't seem to kill the fears in Joel's mind, only awaking new kind of doubts. Can you actually be in love with him or is it a hopeless dream that Joel is chasing?

Requested and inspired by my little lilly 🪷

warning: past injuries, hand trauma.

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Joel didn't care for any of it. He didn't care about a safe space to live in. He didn't care about what or where he slept. What he ate and if he ate in general. Pills and alcohol were all he needed at night. Even after twenty years, life hadn't been the same. And by that point, Joel simply didn't care. He lived in black and white. There was no in-between. He no longer believed in happiness. No longer strived to make a change. He was simply surviving.

Yet Joel's imagination would paint pictures of a somewhat different world. A handful of pills later, the blanket that laid over his shoulders would turn into a lover's embrace. Where the pillow felt like the soft flesh of the significant other. Joel was thankful when he had no recollections of the night like that. Where there was blank darkness and no evidence that he had been nothing but lonely. Longing. Somewhere deep down, longing to make a change. Most importantly, longing to be loved. Longing for someone to see him. To dust off the pain and make him feel something different.

Then Ellie came along, and you were right beside her. At first, Joel didn't even understand why Marlene wanted him on this job when you were with Ellie. Wild animals were less frenzied than you. Surely getting Ellie to the fireflies was like a walk in the park for you. That was until Joel noticed your trembling hands. The way you rubbed your palms together. How you only stick to knives for self-defense.

You had opened up about your past one night as you both sat under the starry sky, with Ellie fast asleep not far away from you. The cold temperature was extremely brutal for your hands. The ache seemed never-ending. "Do you want these?", Joel broke the silence, taking off his much thicker gloves before handing them to you. You just started at him. Of course, you had talked before. You've been on the road with him for some time now. But it always seemed cold and bitter. If there was one thing Joel was extremely good at, it was making people feel like they were the problem.

You shook your hand, inching towards the fire, moving your palms closer to the flame. Joel gazed at you, letting out a sigh. It was odd considering the type of your communication but he could feel the strange feeling bubbling inside him. The feeling would perk up if he would woke up to you by his side or if your head would fall onto his shoulder as you dozed off while keeping watch. Even when you laughed alongside Ellie, Joel couldn't help that strange sensation in his stomach.

"I would prefer if you took them. I'm not cold anyway", Joel spoke up again. "And I'm not a cripple", "I never said that", you turned to him quickly. Even in the dim light, Joel could see the tears that glossed over your eyes. "Your eyes say enough", you bit back, turning your attention to the flame in front of you. Joel wasn't sure why he was even doing this, but he moved forward, resting his hands on your shoulder. It had been weird between you two. You had kissed a couple of times. And if the first kiss was the aftermath of too much adrenaline after a near-death experience. The second time had no justification. "What happened", Joel said softly, rubbing your shoulders ever so slightly. He had once selfishly examined your hands while you slept. Joel knew that was an invasion of privacy, but his eyes caught onto the scars and his fingers moved without a second thought.

You let out a bitter laugh. "I was a bad girl. I got involved with bad people, and well, bad people do bad things", Joel had seen. Had inspected the scars and permanent discoloration that covered your hands. He wondered what had happened. Wondered who were the people that had done this. Most importantly, he wondered how good it would feel to make them slowly suffer for all that was done to you.

Joel had never done this when you two were fully awake, never fully aware. He pulled you closer to him. Your hands instantly clasped over his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Silent tears fall down your cheeks. Oddly enough, Joel had been a safe space for you. Someone you knew would go that extra mile to make sure that you were safe. "You have nothing to fear now. I've got you. You can count on me, sweet", Joel said, making you let out a silent sob as you held onto him tighter. "What if I fail to protect you though…", you whispered. Joel quickly turned you around in his arms so he could face you. "Didn't seem like a problem when you stabbed that guy in the throat", Joel said, referencing the attack in the store, but you just narrowed your eyes at him. "We have each other, and now that Ellie has a gun, believe me, we are good", you let out a light chuckle while leaning your head against Joel's chest. That was the night you saw a future in him. Leaving you to hope that Joel felt the same way.

Ellie was bubbling through all the stories of today. In all honesty, she was supposed to do her homework while you fished off with dinner, but you didn't have the heart to stop her. Seeing her so full of life was refreshing. You three haven't been in Jackson very long. A month at best, and it still seemed like a dream. Tommy had very kindly landed you a small cottage at the side of the town. They even arranged a little celebration to welcome you, Ellie, and Joel in. Joel of course snarled through most of it.

Holding onto your hips as he zoned in and out. Partly listening to the conversations you were having with people that were around him and partly just trying to ground himself. He hated places like this. There was too much buzz. Joel wasn't used to it. Not to mention the attention that was put on you three. That was way too exhausting. You would occasionally turn to him. Running your fingers through Joel's hair or simply resting your hands on top of his hands that were lazily curled over your middle.

A protective gesture. You called it Joel's circle. He did this often. Even if you two were in the comfort of your new home. His arms would wrap around your middle. The only moving space you had was within Joel's embrace. You knew it was still so hard for him to feel safe. To not fear that something was going to happen. Joel loved running over the worst scenarios. Your broody, grumpy grape. You shifted in his embrace. Your eyes searched his tired ones. "Should we make a grand outing? So that everyone would think that we are going to fuck our night away?", you said casually, making Joel let out a laugh. His bold ray of sunshine. God, that smart mouth of yours drove Joel insane. "Depends on how loud you are willing to moan", you let out a gasp, shoving him slightly, as you got lost in Joel's smile. A rare sight for sore eyes.

Everyone was quick to label you as Joel's girl. It was in a way strange at first because no matter where you went, you were met with the same greeting, but then again, you couldn't blame them. Joel watched you like a hawk. Eyes rarely left you if you were in his sight. Always looking. Always watching. Even here, he was a man who was feared. Well, besides the fact that most females were ready to hook their arms around his neck. You wondered if he ever noticed how they drooled over him. You were hoping that he didn't because if Joel chose any of them over you… Not that you had a say, but your heart would be shattered.

"And then I said that I was done with the project", Ellie continued to chirp, "But I gave you guys credit, don't worry", you let out a laugh at her words. You three had lots of fun building that paper rocket ship. Ellie came home with an assignment to build her dream. Seeing the space was one of them. So you three sat on the living room floor for hours. Small talk lingers. The plate with cookies was nearly empty. "Did you give credit to Joel's back?", you turned to Ellie, and the smirk on her face was outrageous considering that she was still a child. "Got a special mention on the title page", Ellie said sheepishly, and you two fell into fits of laughter just as Joel stepped into the kitchen.

"What are we laughing about?", Joel moved straight to you, planting a gentle kiss on the side of your head. His usual way of greeting you. You closed your eyes at the sensation, savoring the feeling of his lips against your skin. "Honestly?", Ellie asked, and Joel nodded. "How I wrote a special appreciation poem for your back because you helped with the ship", Joel rolled his eyes at that. Ellie took great joy in making fun of his age. But Joel never really cared about it. As long as she was happy, so was he.

Joel noticed the jar in your hands and how your palms flexed as you tried to open it. Without a single word, Joel placed his hands over yours. Pressing ever so slightly as he turned the lid off. You bit your lip. That was another thing that Joel did. If it wasn't necessary, he never took the things you were trying to open away from your hands. He just offered additional strength with his hands. It was his way of making sure that you didn't feel worthless. Joel would notice your struggles; he always did. But he had learned to read your body language and to know when you needed his aid and when it was best to leave you to it alone.

You turned to face him, meeting his eyes with a silent thank you that he answered with yet another kiss to your temple. "Okay, you two are doing that cute shit again", Ellie's voice made you both turn her way. "Don't you look at me like that? Will I have to drag you two to the altar or are you going to do something about it yourself?", she blurted out, making your eyes grow big. "You get back to your homework, miss, 'cause if it's not done before dinner, you're not eating", Joel pointed a warning finger the girl's way, which she graciously met by sticking out her tongue.

A light blush crept up on your cheeks. Alter seemed way out of reach. Well, for now at least. You weren't even sure if you two were together. You assumed you were, but… You had never talked. It was a silent promise. As if you claimed one another without words. Leaving it to the actions. Joel held on to you like you were his lifeline most nights. Face buried in the crook of your neck. Arms pulling you as close to his chest as possible. If nightmares clouded his mind, you would pull him closer to yourself. Gently guiding him to lay down practically on top of you as you brushed your fingers through his salt-and-pepper. hair You loved them. It was almost embarrassing that sometimes you just twirled Joel's curls between your fingers with such admiration. You knew he never found himself beautiful, but in your eyes, he was the most handsome male you had ever laid your eyes on.

"Will you grab the plate, I…", you didn't even have to finish the sentence. Joel was already moving through the kitchen. "How was patrol?", "Nothing new, although the weather is getting better", you hummed at Joel's words. The sun was shining for most of the day today, and you could tell that everyone was in a much more cheerful mood. "How was the meeting with Becky?", Becky was a woman in her eighties. She had worked many years in the medical field, especially with post-trauma treatments. You visited her every other day, and she guided you through different exercises to rebuild the strength of your hands. "It was okay, but as you can see, I can barely hold the spoon," you said as you lifted your trembling head up for Joel to see, but he didn't find much amusement in that. He feared that you pushed yourself too much with this. Stepping closer, Joel took both of your hands into him before pressing them to his lips. "Please wash your hands before you pour my bowl; I don't want Joel's saliva in it", Ellie sassed from the other side of the room. "Ellie", you said with a chuckle, and Joel threw a towel her way, making you both fall into fits of laughter.

Jackson felt like a dream. Like a lucky coin. A four-petal clover. You name it. Yet Joel still couldn't settle his mind. Now more than ever, it felt so clustered. He watched you and Ellie laughing over dinner. The table he also sat at, but did he deserve to be here? Or were you two better on your own? Joel wasn't blind; he saw how people practically melted when you walked through the streets offering everyone a smile. You brought life to an already lively town. Contributing to help anywhere and everywhere. Seeing you shift from this constantly scared girl to a lovely young woman was a huge gift to Joel.

He wanted you to live. To experience happiness and joy. He wanted you to be carefree. To dance your nights away. To be twirled around the dance floor by different males and females. You deserve to live. Something Joel probably couldn't afford to be a part of. Moments when he saw younger males looking your way, talking amongst themselves as they looked you up and down made him both unimaginably angry and jealous. First of all, you weren't an object to be gawked at. You deserved a respectful partner. And second of all, Joel knew if he had met you earlier, when he was full of life, it would have been so different. He would have given you everything. He would be the one twirling you around the dance floor. He would have taken you on dates by the river. Played you different songs on his guitar. Now that side of him was dead. Buried by all the pain. Buried beside Sarah.

"Joel…", after feeling your hand on his, Joel quickly turned your way. Your brows were crushed down. "You haven't touched your food, hun", you said softly. Joel's eyes drifted to the plate in front of him. The tightness in his throat and chest increased. As the thoughts of being only a burden swirled through his brain. Why were you here? Were you simply scared? Scared to explore something more because he was here? Would Ellie be happier if you settled for someone younger? It sure would make a more normal-looking family. Joel quickly stood up, nearly knocking the chair over as he rose. "I'm not hungry; I'm going for a walk", he said coldly as he stepped out of the kitchen. You called his name a couple of times. Joel braced himself against the fence. Hand on the chest as he tried to take in at least a single gulp of air.

You waited for Joel to return almost all night, but he didn't show up. You had wondered if you should go and try to find him, but deep down you knew that your wandering down the street in the night would only add to whatever that was going on with him. You've got Ellie ready for school. Making extra scrambled eggs and scribbling a little note for Joel. You're not alone. You can count on me, it said. A tiny heart by the end of it. Now you could only hope that it wasn't something you had done.

You pupped to help out another elderly lady while you waited for Ellie to be done with her classes. She made the most delicious meat pies and pastries. The delicious smell followed you around the bakery all day. You did as much as your hand allowed you, for the rest compensating with your smile. Already thinking about how you were going to surprise Joel with a pie that you had made yourself. He was a sweet guy deep down. And it had been way too long since you all had a proper pie.

You slipped inside the school just as the last class was finishing. The sight of Ellie nearly leaning out of her chair as she followed every word that the teacher was saying was endearing. She needed this. Needed other kids. Needed to learn. Needed to feel normal. "Y/N, right?", you quickly turned to the side. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump", the guy, who wasn't that much older than you, said, rubbing the back of his neck. You've seen him around, but if you were being honest, you had no clue who he was. As if sensing this, the guy quickly said, "Ben, one of Ellie's teachers. We've met at the bar". You smiled at him, "Right, yes, sorry. A lot of new faces still". Your eyes drifted back to Ellie. For some reason, you felt uneasy in his presence.

"So am… You… I'm making such a fool of myself", Ben rambled on, quickly popping into what you assumed was a teacher's room. For a split second, you wondered if you should just walk away, but Ben walked out with a big bouquet of flowers you didn't even know the name of. You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "I was hoping that you would pop in today. Got you those", you knew that you needed to say something but you felt lost for words. No one had ever gotten you flowers and… Ben carefully placed the bouquet in your hands. "You just caught my eye, and I've been wanting to ask you out. I know this is super straightforward", you shook your head, "I… they are beautiful, thank you, but… I." A part of you was screaming that this was wrong. You wanted to tell him that you were with Joel. But were you with Joel? Your head felt like it was spinning, but you just didn't feel it. It didn't feel the same. Didn't feel like it did with Joel.

"Look… I'm sure you are a really sweet guy, but I'm in a… Well, I like someone else, and I just", your voice sounded so small. You hated that you weren't confident. Ben gave an awkward nod, "Right, the big guy. I should have guessed", "I'm sorry; I'm sure there's a sweet girl out there for you. Thank you for… well, for the flowers though. Unless you want to keep them". You pushed the bouquet towards him, but he only shook his head and said, "Keep them, and I hope we can still get to know each other. Like friends, of course", you smiled at him right as the door opened and kids spilled out of the classroom.

"So, wait, he just did like… Did he kiss you?", Ellie hadn't stopped talking ever since you left the building. To her, this was the most hilarious thing ever, while you still tried to process it all. "Of course not. I would have never let him do that", you said. "Do you reckon he fantasizes about you?", you glared at her quickly. Ellie only lifted her hands in defiance.

"A pie and flowers. Are we celebrating something?", you didn't even realize that you were standing in front of the cottage with Joel leaning against the open door. You opened your mouth, but Ellie beat you to it: "Ben got Y/N flowers; bet he is like in love with her", she said as she wiggled her eyebrows at Joel. You knew this was innocent. You knew she didn't understand what was going on between you two. So you couldn't blame her, but you wished she hadn't said it like that. Joel's jaw clenched. Anger washed over him. He turned away from you moving to the back patio.

Joel knew who Ben was. Most importantly, Joel saw the way Ben looked at you. That guy was a good bit younger than him. Broad shoulders, piercing eyes. Desire burned inside him. Ben wanted you and Joel could see it. Did you want him as well? "Joel, wait, Joel,", he heard your pleading voice as he rushed down the little stairs, moving to the backside garden. "Go back to your boyfriend", Joel snarled through gritted teeth. "Ben is just Ellie's teacher. I didn't even…", Joel turned to you quickly, "Who gives you flowers", "Well, maybe he's just being sweet", you knew that you both knew that that was bullshit. And honestly, now you wondered if downplaying it would only make it worse.

"Maybe he just likes you", Joel spat back, frustration dripping off him. "Do you seriously don't see it? That fuck had a big old crush on you ever since you came here". Those words, however, did take you by surprise because you didn't see it. You never acknowledged Ben's presence. You didn't care what Ben was doing. You never looked for it. "Well, I didn't see it, no", Joel gave you a look that clearly showed you that he didn't believe you. "Oh, come on. I've never had a man show me attention before you; how am I supposed to know?", you asked, raising your hand in frustration. Growling as Joel turned and started to walk again. "Joel, stop fucking walking or I'll throw the fucking flowers at you!", you shouted as your frustration laced through you. Joel stopped in his tracks.

"Do you seriously feel like he's my type?", you approached the man in front of you slowly, dropping the flowers to the side as you walked. "Joel", "I don't know", he muttered under his breath. He wasn't good at this thing. He wasn't good with his emotions. But the fear of losing you crippled him. "Well, my type is anything but that. I like my man mature like wine or cheese", you said, moving to cup Joel's cheeks. "Come on, turn the frown upside down", you encouraged him slowly, but Joel only shifted his eyes to you. Piercing through your soul.

"Listen to me, you stubborn hulk. This", you took a hold of his hand, pulling it up and pressing it over your heart, "Beats for you. I picked you a long time ago. And if you think some thirty-something dickhead can come in and swoop me away", you shook your head. "Yeah, have more faith in yourself, especially when all of Jackson's females have an orgasm when you walk by", you sassed. "No, they don't", Joel argued, but you only crooked your head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"Did you mean it?", Joel asked, arms now sneaking to hold onto your hips, "That my heart is yours? With my whole life", you smiled up at him. Joel leaned in. A breath hitched in your throat as he erased the last bit of distance between you two and your lips met his. You felt like you had blacked out for a moment as all the fireworks started to explode from within you. You held on to Joel for dear life as he pressed you closer to his body. His other hand cupped your cheek. It was desperate. Needy. Long overdue, and you couldn't suppress the giggle that fell from your lips as you two finally parted. Hiding your face in Joel's chest.

You could feel how fast his own heart was beating. Smiling to yourself that it was you who had such an effect on him, "I love you", he whispered. Barely audible but more than enough for you to step on your tiptoes and kiss him again. "I'm in a daring mood to let the whole of Jackson know that I am yours", you mumbled after a while in Joel's embrace. "Pick your words carefully, baby girl,", Joel warned, but you only smirked back at him. Before pulling the devilish smile, "Want to fuck me against the electricity pole?", Joel let out a surprised laugh before shaking his head at you. Scooping you up in his arms quickly, making you let out a scream followed by fits of giggles as he carried you back into the cottage.

[amorgansgal]

Practice Makes Perfect

So here we go! At long last, I've finished my fic and I loved writing this one so much! Just to ensure absolute clarity I'm kind of seeing the academy as a university, so everyone here is over the age of 20 and somehow I've pegged Gale as a complete slut evidently!

Gale x Fat Female Reader

CW: Sexual content, Oral sex

‘I really don’t think this is a good idea,’ you desperately whisper to your friend, Nira, who is dragging you through the mahogany panelled library where absurdly high bookshelves tower above you both.

The library is quieter in the late afternoons and evenings, there are only a few students either absorbed in the small mountains of books that surround them or are busily writing out long essays, the familiar, comforting sound of turning pages and the scratch of pen against paper fills the large room. As you pass the candlesticks the wicks catch alight, now that the room is getting gloomier and the sky is darkening. The sun is sinking low in the sky, casting the last rays of golden light to be dispersed through the diamond patterned windows. The dark wooden floorboard underneath your feet glitters with the thrumming magic that spills from the books in the room and the stunning reds, golds and oranges of the last light of the day.

‘Don’t be such a wet blanket,’ Nira hisses in response. ‘Besides, I thought you were interested.’

‘I am,’ you insist, though a hot blush still creeps up your cheeks. ‘But I don’t want to be mocked or for him to judge me.’

‘He’s not going to judge you. From what I heard he quite likes…’ she hesitates, pursing her lips as though wanting to find the right way of putting it.

‘Fat women?’ you prompt.

She sighs. ‘I was going to say ladies with larger thighs, but sure, fat women.’

‘You promise me, he won’t laugh or-’

‘He’s not going to laugh and if he does I’ll fireball him right in his face.’

You bite back a laugh at the thought and Nira grins at you, then continues, ‘Besides, I’ve had the joy of experiencing Gale’s tongue and it’s well worth it. Honestly, I wish he was interested in properly dating someone, because I’d throw my hat in the ring, so many men act like the whole thing is disgusting. Oh but we’re expected to suck them off whenever, even if their dicks stink like piss!’

You smile, it’s been a complaint of Nira ever since she got to experience Gale’s tongue and you’ve heard all about his ability non-stop since. Most of the girls in your class have talked about it. You’re surprised they’re not jealous of one another or are trying to win him over, but he apparently doesn’t seem to care about entering a serious relationship and is just happy to oblige his classmates’ desires. You had your concerns though that he would not be interested in you. You’d always been on the larger size, your mother certainly didn’t help matters by pointedly making remarks about how most people associated female magic users with beautiful, ethereal waif like creatures. No one thought of dumpy little witches unless they were old and ugly. You did your best to shrug off comments like that but it still stung and you felt like you had to work twice as hard as your classmates just to be given any forethought or attention from either your peers or your teachers.

Gale, when you had occasion to work with him, was refreshingly respectful, kind and seemed to actually see you. You’d grown almost accustomed to any man’s gaze immediately drifting past you and onto your thinner friends. If it didn’t happen so often you might have even been angry about it, but you didn’t really see the point. So consequently your experience with men was rather limited. You’d been kissed, sure, but it was such a fumbling, innocent mess of a kiss you weren’t quite sure whether to count it. You’d touch yourself but you always felt a bit embarrassed about it and sometimes your own self-doubts would turn you off. So it was usually a rushed affair and didn’t quite leave you fully satisfied.

‘Ah, there you are,’ Nira says as you reach the end of the library where instead of desks and rigid back chairs there are soft, plush sofas nestled in alcoves and you see Gale look up at your approach. He gives you both a warm smile and you immediately feel that this whole thing is a horrible, terrible idea. Your feet slow and Nira is practically dragging you over. Your heart is thudding in your chest, the blood rushing in your ears, and it feels like your throat is about to close up. Gale is handsome. He has foppish brown hair that tickles the back of his neck. His eyes are a warm, deep brown. His easy going smile is inviting. And you feel all your weight, the soft plumpness of your belly, your thighs catching slightly on chairs and tables as you walk over. He is going to say no, he is going to look at you like you are disgusting and repulsive and how could you even think he would want to give you pleasure?

‘Good afternoon, Nira,’ he says and inclines his head in greeting. ‘To what do I owe the pleasure?’

‘Well, it’s not so much pleasure you owe me!’ Nira says with a grin and tosses her head at you. ‘You remember Y/N, right?’

‘Of course, I still am very resentful you soundly beat me in my alchemy test!’’ he says, though there’s no malice in the tone as his smile widens and his eyes glimmer with mischief. 

‘Well, she’s heard what you like to do.’

Gale laughs, and for a moment your heart seizes in terror. ‘Really? Am I getting that kind of reputation?’ he asks, though you can see he’s quite proud of such a reputation.

Nira rolls her eyes. ‘Oh come off it Gale, you’ve practically had every girl in the classroom that way and we all talk about it!’

His eyes flick back to you and a shiver runs down your spine. The pupils in his eyes have widened and you’re quite certain it has nothing to do with the gloom of the library. He wets his lips and you’re almost scared of the way he’s looking at you… he’s looking at you with desire and your silly heart doesn’t quite know what to make of it. But then he clears his throat and gives you another sweet, winning smile.

‘And I take it you’re interested in allowing me to practise? Because if you’re not and Nira has just dragged you here when you don’t like the idea, then please don’t be bullied into it. I’m very happy to have a chance to work on my technique, but I don’t like the idea of someone being less than enthusiastic,’ he says and his gaze is entirely focused on you, and you almost don’t want to look at him because it’s so startling being treated like an object of desire. But you manage to keep your head raised and your eyes fixed on him.

‘Yes, I do… I am interested,’ you say. ‘If you’re… um… interested in me, you don’t have to if it would prove distasteful.’

That same wicked, mischievous gleam is back and he draws closer to you. ‘I am interested and I assure you, it never proves distasteful, quite the contrary in fact.’

‘Gods, should I just turn my back or are you going to wait until you’ve gone somewhere more private?’ Nira asks and you flush at her words, though Gale lets out another burst of laughter.

‘I would assume my room would be preferable,’ he says to you. ‘Though Lucia and I did make use of that corner over there,’ he gestures to a table tucked into a corner by a bookshelf and you inhale quickly, imagining your hands holding tightly onto the shelves, your butt on the table and Gale’s head between your thighs. You bite you lip and press your legs together, there is no denying the desire that courses through you at the thought of the risk that would be, the possibility of being caught, though you would find it mortifying. It’s better to not get ahead of yourself and you nod.

‘I would prefer the privacy of your room,’ you say, and Gale offers his hand to you. It takes you a moment for you to take it, but he gives your fingers a gentle squeeze and then puts the book he was holding back on the shelf. 

‘I assume we should go there now, unless you have prior plans,’ he says to you. Were it any other man you would have assumed he might be trying to put you off, but it sounds like he genuinely cares about whether or not you’re busy.

‘No, no, we can go there now,’ you say, then glance away because of how embarrassingly eager you sound.

‘Good,’ Gale says and takes hold of your hand more firmly. Nira catches your eye and smiles as he begins to walk by her.

‘Have fun!’ she says.

‘See you later, Nira,’ Gale says to her, you only manage a nod as you feel rather tongue tied.

***

Gale’s room is definitely cleaner than some of the guys’ rooms you had seen within the dormitory rooms of Blackstaff Academy. Oh, there’s robes tossed over chairs, the desk is littered with books, papers, quills, an open box of herbs and crystals and sublimates. But there’s no forgotten plates or dirty cups. Gale’s room actually smells quite good too, a faint hint of bergamot and cedar. He pulls out the chair in front of the desk and turns it around to face the bed, then gestures for you to sit in the chair. You sit down, nervously placing your hands in front of your belly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Gale closes the bedroom door, then sits down on the bed opposite you.

‘So, now that Nira isn’t around, you definitely want to do this? He asks.

You nod, your throat feels very dry and tight. Gale smiles at you softly. ‘Just want to check, as I say, don’t want to do this with anyone who has doubts. I’d like to ask you a few things first.’

You nod again and curse yourself for losing all sense of any wit or wisdom you once had in your brain! But Gale is relaxed and begins work on removing his boots. ‘First, easy one, do you want me to lock the door or just have it closed. I’m sure you know I have a tressym and she comes and goes as she pleases, and while she’s respectful and polite, I don’t put it past some of our classmates not to barge in!’

You think about it carefully, then say, ‘Lock the door please.’

He casts arcane lock on the door and then grins at you, you can’t help smiling back. ‘And you know knock, so you want to get out you’re free to go whenever you want,’ he says, the implication runs underneath, you’re in control, what you say goes, if you don’t like it you can go and there won’t be any hurt feelings. You feel rather touched he’s going to all this effort.

‘Next question, would you prefer to be partially clothed or entirely naked? When I do this I do quite enjoy touching my partner everywhere, but your comfort is more important than what I find enjoyable,’ Gale says.

You look away, you still feel self-conscious about your belly and you can’t imagine Gale would want to touch the soft, fleshy weight of it, let alone even see it! ‘I’ll keep my blouse on, if that’s alright,’ you mutter.

His two fingers catch under your chin and he lifts your head. ‘It’s fine by me, but it’s more important that it’s what you find alright, your comfort comes first. Now, biggest and hardest question,’ he says, smiling. ‘Can I kiss you or would you rather I didn’t and just work my magic between your legs?’

‘Yes,’ you whisper, your eyes are captured entirely by his and your voice sounds faint. ‘You can kiss me.’

His hand slips down your cheek, lightly resting against your neck, his fingers curve round your head and he pulls you forward. His mouth finds yours and he kisses you sweetly at first, tentative, gentle, as though he is worried you might flinch away, but nothing could be further from the truth. Your heart hammers in your chest and you feel like you might forget to breathe. Your hand hesitantly goes to his chest, you don’t want to push your luck, but he instead presses his free hand over yours and you can feel the warmth of him bleeding through his shirt. He lets out a groan and then pulls away from you, breathing hard and certainly wearing an expression of wanting to eat you up. 

‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘If I’m not careful I’ll get carried away!’

You wonder what ‘carried away’ might entail, given what you’re about to do. But you don’t have much time to think about it, he helps you up from the chair and unties the laces of your skirt. He tugs it down over your hips and you watch him bite his lip when your thighs come into view, he’s utterly focused on your legs and his hand reaches out eagerly, but he seems to collect himself to not just grab a meaty handful. Gale gently strokes down your thigh and guides you to the bed, grabbing the pillows and putting them behind your back. He removes the slippers that had been on your feet, tossing them off into a corner of the room and seems to admire the stockings you wear, though they aren’t particularly sexy you think, just the fairly standard academy uniform ones. Once you’re comfortable, he returns to looking at your legs, he traces his fingers up from your ankles to just behind your knees, making you shiver. You still feel a bit embarrassed about Gale seeing you like this, of opening your legs so he can see all of you.

Gale catches your eye and smiles. He leans down and kisses you, that same sweet, soft kiss. ‘You alright?’ he whispers.

‘Mmhm,’ you manage, well at least you made a sound this time. Gale chuckles quietly.

‘You look so beautiful,’ he says, then trails kisses down your mouth, your jaw and neck, nipping at your ear and making you gasp as the hot little jolt of pleasure soars through you. You decide to ignore that him saying you’re beautiful is probably both something he says to all the girls who come to him for this and also definitely a lie in your case.

He scoots down the bed and slowly pulls apart your legs, his stare is so intense you have to close your eyes. His fingers skim up your legs, his nails stroke down your thighs, until they reach the crease between them and your mound. 

‘Hmm pretty,’ he says, and he pulls his right hand away for a moment. You open your eyes to see him with his thumb in his mouth that he pulls out with a pop and then he places it against your clit and circles it. The sensation makes you gasp and arch up, though you still cover your belly with your arm. Gale lets out another tight groan and suddenly lies down between your legs, his fingers still play with your clit, feather-light touches sliding down to your entrance and teasing it, then going back up making you bite your lip hard to not let out a sound.

‘You can make as much noise as you like, in fact I’d rather you do,’ he says, then brings one of your thighs over his shoulder. Your eyes flicker open as he presses kisses against it. He nips at the sensitive skin, a playful, teasing bite. ‘It tells me if I’m doing a good job.’

He keeps kissing down your thigh and suddenly he’s at the apex, his hungry dark eyes watching you intently, you can feel his breath on your nether regions, your belly feels tight and it’s all you can do to both stay on the bed exactly where you are or beg him to relieve you of the growing ache and need for something. He gives you one quick, delicious smile and then buries himself between your thighs. You don’t know what to expect, but his warm tongue darting out, circling your clit and then more firmly suckling it makes you feel like a hot jolt of electricity zapped through your body. The pleasure is mind melting and Gale is all to happy to apparently drown in you, his mouth and lips and tongue… You forget yourself, forget all your shame, the hatred of your body, the disgust you feel with yourself, and surrender yourself utterly to pleasure. 

He’s good, too good. He seems to cotton on quickly to what you like, how best to draw out every bit of pleasure, everything that makes your toes curl, that tighten the muscles in your thighs, that makes you instinctively grasp a handful of his brown hair between your hands and he keeps bringing you to the peak of pleasure over and over, until you see stars in your eyes and feel so lost to it all, so desperate you wind up babbling and pleading for him to let you cum.

‘Please Gale, please, please, don’t stop, please don’t stop. I need it, I need it so badly!’

You feel his laughter vibrate through his body, but finally, mercifully, he acquiesces and you are undone by pleasure, it roars through your body like a furnace, his tongue still maddeningly teasing your clit and you are left almost sobbing on the bed, uncaring of the warm gush between your legs, the air not filling your lungs enough, the world feels dizzy and spectacular and glorious. His head pops up and you can’t help the laugh you let slip at his slightly dazed, but altogether thoroughly pleased expression. 

‘You need to taste yourself,’ he insists, and he kisses you again fiercely, his tongue sliding into your mouth and you do. It’s not a bad taste to your surprise, musky and a little tart, but intoxicating and sweet. Once he’s satisfied he raises his head, though he’s still lying on top of you, he rests his forehead against yours and sighs contentedly. His chin and small beard is soaked through. ‘How was that?’ he asks.

It takes you a moment to clear your throat and find your voice, but more because you’ve been done in, not because you are flustered. ‘Good, very, very good. Thank you.’

‘No, thank you,’ he says, and you let out a breath of laughter that he’s still ever the gentleman. He gets to his feet, grabs an empty basin and a cloth, and comes back to your side. He fills the bowl with warm water using a prestidigitation spell and starts work cleaning you up, tenderly washing you down, though you almost feel a little disappointed you couldn’t keep the slick between your thighs. There’s already a delightful prickling sensation from where his beard rubbed against your legs.

He helps you to your feet, then picks up your skirt, giving it a little shake to remove any dust and holding it open for you to step in. ‘I can manage to dress myself,’ you say.

‘I know, didn’t doubt that, Miss beats-me-soundly-at-alchemy,’ he teases. ‘But I like doing this.’

He brings over your shoes and insists on helping you with those too, having you sit back down on the bed as he puts them on your feet. You have a feeling it might just be because he gets to touch your legs once more.

‘You have the best legs,’ he murmurs. 

You let out a snort of laughter. ‘Given how many you’ve apparently seen, I doubt that!’

But he vehemently shakes his head. ‘I mean it, the best legs in the whole school. If you ever wish for another time I’d be happy to oblige, but I’d quite like it if you sat on my face.’

‘Gale, I’d squish you or break your nose!’ you say.

His eyes gleam at the thought. ‘Well worth the risk!’ He gets to his feet, then offers you a hand and after helping you up, he turns your hand over and presses a kiss to the knuckles. ‘Please come back any time.’

You shiver with delight at the thought, but simply nod and leave the room.

***

Of course Nira wants all the juicy, sordid details and you spend the better part of the evening quietly whispering and giggling in your dormitory room as you recount it. She does seem surprised though when you mention that Gale had asked if he could kiss you.

‘Really? He didn’t ask to kiss me,’ she muses, then gives a shrug. ‘Maybe that’s just something new he does, though I swear Jacanthe was just before you and she didn’t talk about him kissing her. I’ll have to ask her at breakfast.’

It’s an odd, trivial notion you’re sure, but you can’t help the pleased little smile at the thought that maybe, just maybe he had solely wanted to kiss you. But you dismiss it, Gale could have any women at the academy and you know better than to get swept away with the idea that maybe his feelings ran deeper for you than anyone else!

[urf1lterr]

lovesick | pedro pascal [2]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

next chapter: [3] previous chapter: [1] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 6.7k

status: in progress

author's note: this chapter was for fun- i have the 1975 on repeat so i had to lmao. i kinda wanna do a slow burn because i don't want to make anything happen so fast. and pedro was at the oscars a few hours ago so why not post another chapter for him :) not edited.

You hated working weekends.

Something about waking up extremely early on a day that was supposed to be your day off irks you. Why have a scheduled rest day if you're just going to be scheduled to come in? It made zero sense, especially since you were only given a two hour notice before while sleeping.

No pay, clothes, gifts could ever make you happy after being called in at 5am for a 7am shift-

"Venti iced white chocolate mocha with oat milk, vanilla sweet cold foam, caramel drizzle, and light ice as always," Pedro listed as he handed you the coffee.

"Oh my god, I think I love you," you blurted out, staring at the cup in awe.

"That was fast, I see now why you're single," Pedro replied, giving you the side eye. "And soon diabetic."

Rolling your eyes, you take a sip of the coffee before shaking your head. "Not like that, you moron," you scoffed as he glared at you. "I love coffee too much- and who says I'm single."

"Think of it as your reward for waking up to the call," he joked as you just stared at him annoyed. The one time you turn off your do not disturb and this happens. "Your loneliness says otherwise."

"I am not lonely!" you gasp as he shrugs. "I'll have you know I am dating-"

"If you dare say Matty Healy I will personally push you in a bush-," Pedro declares, stopping you as you try to interject. "-and won't help you back up."

Huffing, you cross your arms as he laughs at the sight of your defeat. He knows you too well considering the fact you only met two months ago.

In fact, these two months were probably the best ones you have had all year. Not only did you experience some awesome moments you're sure you'll never get to witness again, but you got along with a lot of special people.

What made things even better was the fact that you got along with your boss because who knows where you would've ended up if Finn was a total douche- which he wasn't. But he did have his moments where he took your kindness for weakness- like asking you to come in for shift on a Saturday.

One thing that definitely advanced would have to be your relationship with Pedro. Nearly best friends is what you two were typically called on a normal day on set by how close you've become.

The nearly part added because nothing could ever come between his relationship with Bella, or Bellie in his own words. And because Jules always made sure to tell the jokesters that she was not giving up her position just yet.

But when it came to work, Pedro was always there for you. Considering he's been in the industry since before you were even born, which he yelled at you once when you joked, he was the best support.

He would even ask you what you were assigned to do and tell you specifically what was wanted without you even asking- even finding ways to physically assist before being caught and sent back to his actual job.

There were also the constant times where he would spam you with iMessage game requests to 8 ball and ignore you after beating him three times in a row, claiming his phone died despite your messages being sent through.

The only thing that made today better was that he was here because who knows how boring the day would have been if you were spent hanging with the technicians who; in fact, did not appreciate the countless times you dropped a mic.

"Why didn't Jules get called in?" you questioned as he turned up the computer brightness you were using. "That girl never wakes up early but I kid you not, she was playing minecraft on her computer when I was leaving."

"I love minecraft," Pedro sighed.

"I do too, but Jules always sends the creepers to my house," you complain. "They always destroy my garden."

"I could only imagine the devastation in your eyes," he dramatically exhales as you nudge him. "But I think it's because you're more...attentive? Not saying that she isn't, but she sure loves to talk about Jersey Shore in between takes."

"She's been binge-watching all the seasons after work."

The conversation ended once he was caught again by one of the producers and lured out of the office you were in. Initially, he searched around the studio and found you to gift the coffee, but he stayed because he did not want to sit on the makeup chair for another round of a drastic look being applied to his face- especially if you weren't there to pester him.

As for you, once clocked in Finn managed to have you scan after emails as a way to apologize for the call in. Apparently, one of his assistants called out so he decided to use you as their replacement since he couldn't find the time to sit down in a cozy office and do so.

But you were totally not complaining.

That only lasted you about two hours before you were finished and terribly bored.

Throwing the empty cup of coffee in the trash, you decided to walk around in hopes of finding something better to do or else you would've fallen asleep on the desk.

You would've if you weren't scared of the thought of a director finding and; consequently, firing you.

Hearing a loud noise, you quickly averted your eyes where your ears were signaling where the noise came from. Lightly jogging behind a curtain, your eyes widened to a sight of a desk on its side and a man hovering over it.

"Joon?!" you exclaim, running over to find him lowly panting, trying to remain his coolness as you began inspecting him to find any injuries.

"I'm fine," he calmly replied, using his dimpled smile as a way to reassure this but you didn't believe him. That was a loud drop.

"Why in the world are you lifting a desk that surely isn't less than 30 pounds?" you glare as he chuckles at the fake anger you poorly tried displaying.

"One of the technicians asked me to bring it out."

"And did you forget that your back would disagree?"

He shuts his mouth for a second, loss for words at your comeback. "I couldn't say no," he shyly replied. "I didn't want to have to pull out my medical forms explaining why I can't lift a table."

Feeling your face sink, you helped him stand straight as he glanced down at the fallen table. "You should have called for help then- everybody would need help for a gigantic table like this."

He only nodded in response, making you feel bad. You felt like you were lecturing him, technically you were, but you didn't want to find out in the future the reason he stopped attending work was because he pulled his back again.

"I'll drag this out," you declare as he tried slapping you hands away from it.

"It's too heavy for you!" he argued.

"Which is why I said drag," you countered back, ignoring his pleas as you somehow managed to lift the table back to its standing positioning.

Walking around it, you bent your back as you began pushing it around the curtain as Joon followed your position, crouching next to you for the extra support.

If it wasn't for the film crew being around the floor, you were sure you would have passed out right then and there. But you couldn't let them know how weak you were.

"And that's how teamwork makes the dream work," you announce, causing Joon to giggle before giving you a high-five as the two of you stand up from your bent posture.

Joon was another person you got along with incredibly well. For one, you guys were the duo out of all the interns. Every job you had that included another person, he was always there.

There was also the many times the two of you, and Jules of course, would carpool together to get home. It turned out Joon was also friends with some of your college classmates so he was always the only person from work who joined you guys for the random nights of cheesy movies and boring games while eating takeout with your other friends.

Despite hanging out for so long, you felt dense when someone called him Namjoon one time, even turning your head around for this Namjoon, completely oblivious to the fact that Joon was connected to Namjoon.

To be fair, he never went by his full name claiming that his nickname sounded more 'chill,' or whatever that meant.

Other than that, you were sure he was your other best friend. Well, after Jules and maybe Pedro. They were probably on the same level if you had to arrange them- not that friends had to ranked.

"Are you ready for this afternoon?" Joon called out as the two of you walked off the stage back to the curtains.

"For what?"

He sent you a surprised look, scaring you because is there something crazy happening that you had to prepare for? "Do you have your phone?"

Patting your back pocket, you shook your head. "I think I left it in my bag. Why? I'm about to cry if you don't tell me," you impatiently whine.

"What kind of fan you are," he simply responds, causing you to widen you eyes.

Immediately jumping on him, you shake his shoulders repeatedly. "What is the 1975 doing?! You must tell me or I swear to the gods I will bust your kneecaps and make you crawl for help."

He bursts out laughing at your threatening begs, trying to calm down your jumps by grabbing your shoulders to hold you. "You're violent."

"And you'll need surgery if you don't hurry it up."

Tapping your shoulder to calm down, you slowly do so. "3 o'clock is when their tickets go on sale for their upcoming tour, one of the dates being in New York City."

You could have sworn you were about to faint if it weren't for Joon pulling out his phone to show you you still had time to mentally prepare for the combat you were about to enter.

That's what ticketmaster was, a war zone.

"How was I not aware of this?!" you cry out, internally panicking about what you were going to do. You can't miss out on this concert, you just had to see these British people in person in order for your life to be complete.

"They did just post the news half an hour ago," he admitted. "Good for you for not being addicted to your phone."

Scowling at him, he quickly closed his mouth as you went over all the things you needed to do to prepare. "Wait, can we go together? None of my guy friends like them."

If you weren't in your own world mentally planning how you were going to beat all these teenage girls online, you would have noticed Pedro walking up to the two to you. But you didn't because your mind couldn't stop thinking about Matty Healy singing 'She's American' because you were indeed American.

"Why does she look deranged?" Pedro questioned, standing a few feet away from you. "Oh no, did Matty Healy die?"

Glaring at him, you ignore his irrelevant comment and face back to Joon. "You and me, my place straight after work. Got it?"

He nods, already in game mode because he knows how bad the two of you need to witness this concert.

Pedro exchanged a crazed look between the two of you, assuming his own ideas as to what you meant. "You're having a party and didn't invite me?" he tried joking to understand the conversation a bit more.

"No time for fooling around, Pedro," you state, grabbing Joon by his arm and making your way back to the office to search for your phone. "We have important business to settle, see you around!"

He watched the way Joon and you walk away hurriedly and wonders if you have a thing for the boy. It would make sense right? Joon was around the same age and he saw you guys work together all the time.

Shaking his head, he walks back to the stage trying to not overthink whatever was flowing in his head. But he couldn't help but question why he was never invited to your place? He instantly rejected that idea, he was twice your age. There's no way that was realistically appropriate.

However, you were friends- so wasn't it hypothetically okay?

No, there was no way he was really debating this. It's completely understandable why he didn't need to be invited over and Joon could.

But how many times did Joon come over?

Stop. His thoughts were confusing him and he needed a distraction. He wasn't going to let another man make him envy of where his friendship stood with you because there is no way he's jealous Joon might take his close friend status.

Because that's who you were to him, a close friend.

After another hour of working with Joon secretly about the tickets while emailing more people who Finn ordered, you two were finally cut for the day.

And luckily you still had two hours before the tickets went on sale.

"I need to grab my coat I left backstage, meet me outside?" Joon asked and you nodded, waving him off as you put on your own coat and bag.

Sprinting out of the office, you didn't expect to fall on the floor by the the person who ran into you. Well, the person fell to the floor while you comfortably landed on top of them, their arms wrapping around you.

"If you missed me that much you should've just texted me sooner to drop by," you heard the culprit chuckle, immediately making you shake their secured hands off your waist to stand.

"That was definitely not the case," you laugh, sticking a hand out to help him get up.

He raises a brow while staring at your hand before taking it, instantly pulling you back down with him. Falling over again, you slowly slip into his arms before finding your balance and giving up on helping him.

"How adorable of you to think you can lift me up," he grins, pulling his own weight up.

"I would love to stay and chat," you start, before looking past him and back again. "But I have something very important to do."

Trying to move around him, he stops you by grabbing your shoulder. "That's why I came to be a generous person and offer you a ride- so you can be home faster and do whatever you needed to do with Josh."

"His name's Joon."

"That's what I said," he ignores you're doubtful glance. "I can take you guys to your apartment."

Thinking it over, it would make it easier and faster to get home and prepare for the sale. If you would've taken a cab and subway it would have been an hour, with him it'll be half that.

"Fine," you spit out and watch as his face lights up. "But I am not owing you anything, you offered."

"Love how two months ago you would've begged the world for me," he placed a hand over his heart. "Oh how comfortable you've gotten with me."

"I don't want to hear it," you shun him, walking past him as he makes a silly face behind your back. "I can feel that!" He immediately stops, surprised you sensed it.

Maybe the two of you gotten a long too well.

"He's gonna drive us to my place, it'll be faster," you quickly explain to Joon who just nods, happily smiling at Pedro who sends him a fast greeting.

Right as you walk through the parking garage and see the familiar black car, Pedro unlocks it before quickly pushing you into the passenger seat, ignoring your protests and slamming the door before you could slip out.

"Not cool," you utter once he buckles inside the driver's seat.

"Don't make me cry," he fake cries before pulling the car out and hitting the road back to your place.

Due to it being the weekend and everybody wanting to be social and outside for some reason, the streets were packed.

It didn't help that Pedro thought starting a deep conversation with Joon about why electric cars annoyed him, knowing damn well Joon loved the environment, was a good idea.

And Pedro's defense being because he loved the smell of gas made you want to slap him.

As if the heavens felt your annoyance, your wish was granted. You were finally in the front of your apartment complex with Pedro pulling up along the red curb. You would've fought him, but you were desperate to get inside as you barely had an hour left.

"Thanks, see you Monday!" you exclaim, jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut. "Let's go, Joon!"

Barely stepping a foot out, you heard Pedro begin talking. "Wait, what are you guys gonna do?"

"Very intense work," Joon stated before turning to you. "But we got this in the bag."

Pedro squints his eyes, curiously scanning your body language because he does not know what this very intense work meant.

Working out? Making out? What the hell was it?

"Of course we do, love has no limits," you declare, making Pedro cough as you grabbed Joon's arm. "Now, let's go!"

"What are you two going to eat?!" Pedro called out, making you heavily sigh and turn back around.

Faking a smile, you gritted your teeth. "Don't know. Maybe we'll cook or make Jules' grab food as we work."

He makes a face, not convinced he wants to let you guys leave. Now that he was here and his day was over with, he didn't want to be alone.

But he also didn't want to tell you he wanted to stay. He wanted you to invite him- but you weren't getting the hint. Or maybe you were, but you couldn't have him in the room while working with Joon.

"That's cool, did you know I make a killer chicken alfredo?" he speaks out, making you pull an interested face as you were very much not. "Especially with garlic bread."

"Make sure to make that once you get home, safe travels," you wave, trying to turn away but was once again stopped by his voice.

You could feel your kindness slowly leaving your body. Was this the day you would be arrested and charged for murder?

"You know what's the secret with making the pasta?" Pedro questions as Joon replies back a curious, "What?"

"The sauce!" he exclaims as you try to control yourself. He was definitely pushing your buttons but you had to stay calm- you had to.

Joon was too interested in the conversation Pedro was beginning, trying to ask what was in this mysterious sauce. You knew you had to interject or you would both be ticketless.

"Maybe you can tell us about this secretive sauce on Monday, when we next see you," you force a laugh, trying to slowly take a few steps back to inch towards the entrance doors. "We really have to g-"

"Why wait till Monday when I can tell you now?" he claps, getting reading to explain his recipe. "For starters, you need a thick, sauce that can sp-"

"Oh my god!" you squeal, causing both men to jump and stare at you in shock as you rambled on. "The parking structure is around the block, my number is 912- just park and come up! Let's go, Joon!"

With that, Joon and you ran inside and Pedro smiled to himself. His planned worked. He guessed the only way to get to you was by speaking nonsense until you gave in- he'll remember that in the future.

Rushing through your door, you took your coat off as Joon pulled his laptop out if his backpack and set it next to your desk.

You looked at it confusingly before asking, "you carry your laptop with you to work?"

"Duh, an intern should always be prepared for computer work," he replies as if it was the obvious rule we should all know.

Shrugging, you turned on your PC and immediately went to ticketmaster, finding that the tickets weren't going on sale until 35 minutes from now. "We still have time to breathe." That was until you heard light knocks on your door. "Spoke too soon."

Walking up to your door, you see that no one was out there.

That was until Pedro decided to jump out from the side and scare the living shit out of you.

"I'm not doing this," you glare, trying to slam the door on his face, but he forced his way in while laughing at the scream you exhaled before.

You stared at him with no expression as he fell to the floor, continuing to laugh as if your fear was the funniest thing in the world. Joon was even silently giggling in the corner, stopping when you made eye-contact with him.

Trying to find a bowl to fill with water so you could throw at him, your plans were interrupted when you heard your roommate's voice boom across the room.

"Who the fuck is making so much noise?! Some of us are trying to sleep- ah! Why is Mr. Boss here?" Jules' gasps, jumping behind the hallway wall and peeking only her head out, too embarrassed to show off her hello kitty pajamas.

"He's gonna make us some pasta with his secret sauce," Joon happily states as she just gives him a confused look.

"Plus, it's almost 3 in the afternoon...," Pedro adds, giving her a baffled look as to why she is barely waking up.

She just gives him an awkward glance before running back to her room, shutting the door. Saturday's were her day off, of course waking up after 5pm was normal.

"The time limit just turned green! Refresh to join the waiting room-" Joon began screeching, doing so on his computer as you jumped around Pedro to do the same on your PC.

Slowly walking up to where Joon was, Pedro began examining the situation you two were in. Reading over your computer screen, his face fell. "The 1975 2022 World Tour...were you guys seriously trying to buy concert tickets this whole time?!"

Joon and you exchanged innocent glances to one another, not sure if he was judging you for your dedication.

"No, we still are trying to buy tickets," you simply reply, pushing him away from your computer.

His negativity was bad luck.

"This is why you were rushing to get home? All for-"

"Be gone, pessimist. Your energy is not it," you frown, moving your game chair to block his view from your screen. "Joon, block your computer, we can't afford his cynical attitude to ruin our chances of making out with Matty Healy."

"Making out with Matty Healy? You still want that? How is he gonna notice you?" Pedro asks, trying hard not to laugh in your face.

You were quiet for a minute. It was just a crazy thing you said because of all the videos you had seen online whenever it was somebody's birthday or they were just a lucky fan in the front.

You weren't actually dedicated to kissing him, but you did wish.

Joon slowly raised his finger, pointing at Pedro. "You're famous, right? Maybe if you went he'll notice us?"

Eyes widening, Pedro quickly shook his head as you placed your hand over your mouth. He was right, maybe he wouldn't kiss you, but he would for sure meet you if he found out a famous actor with over a million followers on Instagram attended his show.

"Not a chance," Pedro declared, ignoring your puppy dog gaze as you just hoped doing it for long would make him so uncomfortable he would give in.

Nudging Joon, he followed your actions with the sad stare, the two of you in front of the poor actor, leaving him really no choice. You were even thinking about calling Jules out to help, but she probably wouldn't appreciate it by her state of looking homeless.

But if it were on a work day she would totally be in.

"You just look like a deformed bull terrier," he says, pulling a disgusted face. "It's kind of unattractive."

"What is that?" you urge, watching Joon hold a laugh.

"The target dog," Joon answers for you.

Shrieking, you smack Pedro in the arm. "My god, woman! You always hit me."

"You're coming with us to the concert," you announce, watching him roll his eyes. Before he could reject your demand, you beat him to it, "if you don't I'm never talking to you again."

"Please, I've been wishing for that for weeks now," he cheers. "Plus, I'm pretty sure I am busy the day they come."

Pulling yourself close to the computer, you check to see the day they were arriving. "So you're saying you aren't free November 7th?"

"Kid, that's basically a year from now. I can't guarantee anything."

"Damn, you're right," you frown, your mood going down. Joon's idea was pretty amazing, but just wrong timing since the concert was so far away. "You can leave now."

"And what about that famous chicken alfredo?" Pedro chuckled, finding your change in demeanor amusing. You must really love these indie boys.

You were about to reply when Joon intervened. "Oh my god! We are in the queue!"

Twisting your head, you could see the clock had hit 3 o'clock exactly. How did time go by that fast?

"Holy shit! Everybody disconnect from the house wifi on your phones! We can not have anything disturbing us!"

Pulling out your phone, you did what you ranted on and made sure Joon did the same. You even ran to Jules' door and banged on it until she confirmed she did so.

Running back to the computer, you could see there was still 983 people in front of you while Joon had 754. "Why is your computer going faster?"

"This laptop-," he sheepishly smiled. "-cost a fortune, but works like a charm."

Turning back to the screen, you saw the purple line move closer. Not even three minutes in and you only had 534 people left while Joon had 312.

You don't know what you did, but God was certainly rewarding you.

"You're honestly really weird," Pedro confessed, staring at your computer screen. "And sad."

"You would be if you were about to buy tickets to see the love of your life."

"I wouldn't pay anything, money can't buy love," Pedro insists, pulling a chair from your table and placing it in between Joon and you.

"That's very romantic," you swipe an imaginary tear from your cheek. "Save it for the cameras."

His jaw drops as you return back to your computer. In a few moments you were about to be inside the room and you were beyond scared. If you did not get these tickets you don't know how much longer you'll have to live.

"I'm in!" Joon shouts, causing you to jump to his screen.

Great, the two of you were going together anyway so it works out.

"Fuck, what's the presale code?!"

Placing your hands on your head as he begins to panic, you die inside. What the fuck were you going to do now? "Go on Twitter and check!"

To say Pedro was not intrigued would be a lie. It was very fascinating seeing how strongly engaged you were just for a damn ticket. To be honest, he thinks you would be great on a reality tv show- your expressions were just off the roof. He wonders if other people genuinely acted like you.

"It's probably something super simple, try 'thesound,'" you exclaim, watching as he typed right away but frowning when it denied it. "try 'somebodyelse.'"

After each attempt of every famous song they had, it was still wrong. What pissed you off even more was that fans were gatekeeping the code no matter how many times Joon and you tweeted for help.

Greedy little shits.

Eventually, your screen allowed you into the room as well. It was no use, you didn't have the code. "I think I'm going to have a panic attack," you clutch your chest as you felt your lips quiver from sadness. "We were so close."

Pedro just stared at you not believing how miserable you suddenly became. Is this how easily young people let concerts take over themselves? Do people really idolize artists that much to the point where they feel depressed if they don't get tickets?

He shivered imagining how BTS fans dealt with this pressure.

"Let me try," Pedro speaks up, pushing you to the side as he began typing away on your keyboard.

It never hurts to try, right?

Innocently clicking away, your face fell as the check mark appeared, unlocking the room for you. "He got in!"

Hurriedly jumping to the screen, Joon urged Pedro to do the same as you began searching through the seats. Instantly clicking on the floor, you hit the continue button for 2 seats.

Feeling your nerves kick in, your hands begin to shake as you typed in the needed information in order to complete your order. But once you pressed 'place your order," your world stopped.

Ignoring your surroundings, you only focused on the screen. Quietly praying, you're sure Joon and Pedro could hear your desperate requests to the ruler of the universe to grant you your biggest wish: these tickets.

You Got The Tickets To The 1975!

Feeling weightless, you screamed so loud you were sure your neighbors were going to call the cops. Joon looked over, doing the same cheers once he realized you two were set for the show.

Jumping out of your chair, you practically tackled Pedro to the ground as you wrapped your arms around his neck and planted him numerous kisses all over his cheeks.

For once, you were happy you managed to outlast his annoying-self.

"I will forever be grateful for your existence!" you cheer, squeezing his poor body in your arms as he tried to remain in balance, laughing at how nice you suddenly became.

Planting a big kiss on his forehead, you turn to Joon and jump together in happiness. You couldn't believe you managed to score tickets, especially floor seats.

"Wait, what was the code?" Joon asked, pulling away from you and turning to Pedro who tried containing his grin.

"The 1975."

You dropped you arms, feeling incredibly stupid. How could you not write their name as a code attempt? It was shorter than 'it's not living if it's not with you.'

"Joon, we are officially the two dumbest people in New York City," you confess as he slowly nods before stopping.

"Not dumber than Jules though."

You heard her door open before her loud yelling appeared, "Well fuck you too!"

Ignoring her, you jump to Pedro who had his gaze on you already. "Welp! Since we got that out of the way, why don't you make some of that chicken alfredo with your sauce."

He smiled before realizing what you were asking. "What sauce?"

You roll your eyes before hitting his side. "The secretive one you were bothering us about."

Pedro bounces up once he understands what he had mentioned earlier. "Oh, right. That one," he chuckles. "I was kidding, I just wanted to see what you guys were dong."

Your face falls as Joon lets out a sad sigh. "Man, I really wanted to taste how thick and creamy that sauce was."

Pedro just tilts his head to Joon before pointing at the door. "It was great hanging with you guys though! Hey, at least we all worked together for those tickets! I'm gonna head out now, have a good rest of your evening!"

With that, he awkwardly backs away and opens the door, quickly running out before you could argue why he would lie about such a thing.

Before you could process what had just happened, he quickly opens the door again and peeps his head inside. "By the way, you don't actually like a deformed bull terrier," he clarifies. "I was kidding, maybe a cavalier king charles spaniel, those are precious."

And again, he runs out. This time, your face was pretty noticeable when it came to how much redness was present. You cringed to yourself, the littlest of compliments always made you blush- it made you sick.

Joon and you exchanged confused looks to each other. Pedro was a very interesting man.

"What is a cavalier king charles spaniel?" you lightly question.

"The dog in the arms of an angel commercial," Joon simply replies.

Reaching his car, Pedro quickly unlocked the door before jumping in. He felt his heart beating fast, not sure why it was doing so.

Was it because he adored how committed you were for those damn tickets? Maybe. Or how your eyes sparkled once you realized you got the right code? Possibly.

How you kissed him and pulled him in close? Most definitely.

But he would never reveal such a thing to anyone. People would take it wrong and believe he had feelings for you. All he had were feelings one would have for another close friend like you.

His heart was beating because he was excited for you, that's all.

Walking around the studio Monday morning was exhausting. Not only did you pull an all-nighter Saturday night because you were too happy to fall asleep, but you only managed to gain a few hours of sleep on Sunday as you were too busy trying to finish homework due that same night.

"Are you alright? Do you need water?" you heard Bella worriedly ask as you pulled a hoodie over your head and walked near the snacks table.

"I need a pill that can wake me up."

"That could be arranged," she joked, stopping when you sent her a serious look. "Not by me, of course."

Bella managed to wake you up a little once she suddenly pulled out her phone and turned the flash on, flashing it all around your face. "Are you trying to make me blind?!"

"It's supposed to wake you up, is it working?" she grinned, still shoving her phone up your face.

Grabbing her wrist, she stops. "No."

"Damn, that sucks."

Somehow you managed to pull yourself together, walking to where the rest of the interns were once you heard all the directors call out for an urgent meeting.

Probably wanting one of you to run to the coffee shop for coffee as usual.

Seeing Pedro waving at you from the side of his cast's group, you smiled and returned it. He then proceeded to make a confused face, wondering why there was an emergency meeting being held.

You sent the same look, adding a shrug because you were feeling the same. You weren't aware about what was going on, but noticing how many people were present- it must be a big deal.

Finn walked in and stood near the director, sending you a smile that didn't look natural.

If anything it looked fake and...sad?

"A lot of you are probably wondering why I called everyone down here on this early morning," you hear one of the directors begin, making some people nod while others just patiently waited for him to continue. "Starting with wonderful news, we have just been given access to explore our visuals and proceed to try out different surroundings in regards to our planned perception for the series."

Hearing a few people clap, you do the same. You were glad that the set was upgrading, but what did they have to do with everyone?

"Unfortunately," you heard him begin, causing your breathe to hitch. "with locations being held in various places like Canada, we are going to have to make cuts."

Feeling your heart drop, you already knew who he was planning to remove. A big series like this can't send interns they don't care about out of the country for help and you sure as hell couldn't afford to pay for the travels yourself if it came down to it.

You didn't want to make eye-contact with Bella or Pedro and feel their condolences through their expressions. All you wanted to do was be cut already so you could go home and cry at home.

To cry over a job was pathetic, but considering how much you learned and loved to manage it for the past couple months, it was sad to let it go.

As the director went down the list of small departments he planned on letting go, he finally made it to yours. "As for the interns, we are especially grateful for the hard work you brought to this set and trying to fill not only our needs but the casts. If we have any open positions in the near future we will make sure to grant you priority, and if you ever need letters of recommendations for your future activities, I am sure Finn would be able to handle that behind closed doors..."

You zoned out after that, not really caring what else was being said. It was the typical its not us excuse, claiming the company couldn't provide for all of their workers yet were able to spend millions of dollars on each location and its visuals.

The meeting was over when you noticed the directors and producers giving a final sympathetic look to the crowd, bowing their heads before walking back to where their offices were located.

"I feel like crying," you heard Jules sniffle, patting her under eye with her sweater. "But I took time on my eye makeup so I can't!"

Rubbing her shoulder, you tried to distract her from her tears coming out as Joon stood next to you guys, telling her funny spongebob jokes that she did not understand.

"Uh oh, Mr. Boss is coming. He's gonna make me cry, I can't hear his sorrow," Jules' explained, turning her back the other way.

"Hey, kids," you heard Pedro lightly say.

"The tears are coming out!" Jules' exclaimed, running away to the nearest bathroom while Joon and you looked at each other, feeling extremely bad for her.

"Sorry about that," Pedro awkwardly started, continuing once you shook off his unnecessary apology. "I just wanted to talk, see how you guys are handling the unfortunate news."

Joon was the first to speak, sounding surprisingly calm for someone who just lost his internship. "It sucks, but at least it was for an understandable reason. Traveling costs money. Plus, we go to school here, we can't just leave."

You nodded, agreeing with what he said. It was true, you should have known this job would've ended sooner than later, there was only so much you could have done inside a film studio.

The series was an apocalypse that needed feature more outside and environmental sets that looked deadly than a building that was only useful for inside takes.

"How about you?" He questions, sincere eyes following yours as you shrug.

"I am sad but that's the industry," you force out a small chuckle. "If you aren't cut at least once, you aren't gaining the full experience."

Right after you said that, you felt tears lining around the inner corner of your eyes. Looking down, you tru to contain yourself. "I'm going to go check up on Jules."

Reaching out for you, Pedro tries to console you but you were out of his reach in seconds. He hated the tears in your eyes and his job being the reason behind it.

He felt as if it were his fault for your departure when he knows he shouldn't.

It also didn't make him feel any better that Joon followed straight after you once you walked away. He knew he had to do something but he wasn't sure.

All he knew was that he would rather see you smile than cry.

[katnisspeetaprim]

How Could This happen?

Little sister au

Warnings: idol!au, jungkook's sister au, stray kids 9th female member au, SA (read my AN for more detils about this) being mistreated, crying, panic attack.

Word Count: 2372 M.list

A.N: So this is based off the request above, was meant to be all in one part but was getting too long. I know some people won't be comfortable with the topic of SA but it's nothing explicit in this story, just groaping. Please note that I'm not just pulling this from nowhere, it is based oartly on my own experiences with SA, and I find writing about the topic helps me in some way. If you aren't comfortable reading this kind of thing, please feel free to skip this one!

(Set some time before the 5 Star comeback)

The new comeback was set to be one of the biggest for the group so far. Because of this, JYP had moved a few of your staff around, bringing some over temporarily from other groups that you were familiar with, and some new hires altogether.

One of the new hires was actually a temporary personal manager for yourself, considering your regular one had left for maternity leave.

Your new manager was an older man, probably in his 40’s called Mr. Lee, which you had no problem with. You were used to working with male staff members, in fact you excitedly introduced yourself on his first day.

‘Hello! I’m Jeon Y/N. I look forwards to working with you!’ You bowed respectfully with a warm smile. You expected to receive a warm response in return, but all you got was a scoff and some annoyed mumbling under his breath, before skulking away to some other new staff members.

‘what was that about?’ Hyunjin wondered over after witnessing the interaction.

‘I’m not sure.’ You frowned. ‘Maybe he’s just having a bad day.’ You shrugged off the incident on his first day, putting it down to a one off moment. Little did you know , things were about to get much worse over the coming months...

You knew your new manager hated the job he’d found himself in. He clearly thought that managing the only female in an otherwise boy group was beneath him.

Some may think that you were overreacting, but you didn’t have to be a detective to spot the signs.

It was little things at first, a snide comment here or an odd look there... But things had escalated physically within a few weeks.

Of course he was good as gold in front of your members or other staff, so you decided to keep quiet, not wanting to create a difficult situation during such a stressful time.

‘I’m so ready for bed right now.’ You stretched out your sore muscles as you walked next to Changbin after a long day of practice.

‘Bed? It’s only like 7pm! You’re turning into an old lady!’ changbin laughed and pushed your shoulder playfully. The cheery mood faltered when a female staff member called after the two of you.

‘Y/N I’m glad I found you.’ She ran up to you, looking flustered as she stopped for a second to catch her breath. ‘Mr. Lee is looking for you.’ You couldn’t hide the way your face fell at the mention of your managers name.

‘what does he need?’ You asked, trying to keep your voice calm.

‘I don’t know, just said he needs to see you...’ She trailed off with a huff, obviously not too happy about keeping the man waiting.

‘It sounds important. I can wait for you?’ Changbin looked over to you with a light frown, not feeling too good about you being the only one having to stay behind after a long day.

You desperately wanted to accept his offer, but as you took in his tired, sweaty form, you couldn’t bring yourself to burden him. Especially now that you noticed the other members obliviously walking ahead, engrossed in their own conversations as they turned the corner out of sight.

‘No it’s fine.’ You waved in dismissal. ‘You catch up with the others. I’ll ask Mr. Lee for a ride home.’ You tried to smile convincingly.

Changbin agreed to leave, though as glanced back over his shoulder to watch you walk away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right.

You knocked on the door and waited for the all clear to entre. The staff member accompanying you had already left, clearly wanting to get back to her own work.

You were about to knock again when you received no answer, but you didn’t get a chance. The door suddenly swung open and before you could react, you were yanked inside by your arm. You couldn’t help but let out a pained gasp at the painful contact.

‘Oh please. It didn’t hurt.’ Mr. Lee scoffed as he slammed the door shut behind you.

You frowned deeply and rubbed the sore part if your arm, deciding to stay quiet for now.

‘I watched you all practice today.’ He came and stood directly in front of you. You weren’t the tallest person, so he practically towered over you when he stood so close. It took everything in you to not flinch away or step back. He would have only used it as another opportunity to mock you.

‘I couldn’t help but notice you’re filling out your clothes more. Have you put on weight?’ You were suddenly regretting your decision to go home in your training gear. It was a yellow sports bra, paired with camo print leggings. You knew the outfit showed a lot of skin, but it was easy to move in and you felt comfortable around your members, plus it was much less effort to go home first and change after a shower.

You suddenly felt very exposed under the mans gaze, and unconsciously brought your arms up to cover your chest.

‘N-no... I haven’t...’ Mr. Lee just sniggered before he suddenly lunged and pulled you towards him by your arm and running is disgusting hand over your backside.

'Really? Well this tells a different story!' He squeezed hard as you tried to squirm away from his touch.

Your mind began racing a mile a minute.

He’d been treating you awfully since day one, but you never expected him to be capable of something like this.

‘Stop! Let me go!’ You flailed in his arms, trying your hardest to escape, but he only tightened his grip on you.

‘Hey!’ He spit out, moving both his hands to tightly grip your upper arms. His face was so close to yours that spit from his words landed on your face.

You wanted to vomit.

Tears were streaming down your face as he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

‘Remember who’s in charge here. I could ruin you.’ With those final words, he attached his lips to your neck and began sucking and moaning, as he left slobbery, messy kisses wherever he could reach.

Your whole body froze up. You felt like you were going to pass out. You couldn’t control your panicked breathing. Your whole body was shaking as his grip only seemed to get tighter.

‘P-please...’ You tried to plead meekly one last time to get him to stop.

He only ignored you and continued his assault on your neck, as one of his hands left your arm and began to wander over your chest.

He wasn’t going to stop.

You knew full well he would take this as far as he could. You had to do something, anything to get out of this situation.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you closed your eyes and with as much force as you could muster... You thrust you knee up, and connected dead centre wit his balls.

Mr. Lee was caught off guard and let go of you to cradle his man hood as he doubled over in pain.

You didn’t waste a single second to book it out of the room and down the corridor. You didn’t even stop to pick up your bag, just wanting to be anywhere but there.

You kept your head down as you walked through the dark street.

It was freezing out and you were still only wearing your sports bra, as you didn’t have time to grab anything before running out.

To people observing you from the outside, it looked like you were wondering aimlessly and currently regretting your wardrobe choice, but in reality... You knew exactly where you were going.

‘Ok I’m coming!’ Jungkook yelled out in annoyance as someone continued to bang aggressively on his door.

He ripped the door open, ready to chew into whoever thought it appropriate to knock like that. His anger turned to shock, then worry when he saw your shaking form before him.

Before Jungkook could even say anything, you rushed forwards and threw your arms round him, before beginning to sob uncontrollably into his chest.

Jungkook was at a loss for words. The last thing he expected to open his door to that night was his sobbing twin sister. He quickly composed himself and pushed the door closed behind you and returned your embrace. His eyes widened when he felt how cold your skin was.

‘Jesus you’re freezing! Why are you out dressed like this? What’s going on?’ he held you at arms length as he tried to gather any information about your current situation.

You tried to speak, but due to a mix of the cold and the sobs, you found it difficult to get any words out at all. Jungkook realised your struggle and quickly ushered you to sit on his couch, before scurrying off down the hall.

You rubbed your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up and calm down, before Jungkook ran back in almost as quickly as he left, with a folded fluffy blanket in his arms.

‘Here, you need to warm up!’ He draped the blanket over your shoulders, which you graciously scrunched around yourself.

Jungkook took a seat next to you and gently rubbed your back.

‘Will you tell me what happened? I can help you.’ He prodded gently, wanting to make sure you knew he was on your side.

You bit your lip nervously and looked away, already feeling new tears forming just thinking about what happened.

‘U-umm. You know how I told you that I got a temporary manager?’

‘Yeah?’ Jungkook drew out, scared to know where this could be going.

‘Well... He’s never been nice to me, but I could handle it since he’s only temporary...’

Jungkook clenched his jaw at hearing your staff wasn’t treating you right, but stayed silent to allow you to continue.

‘B-but today he umm..’ You trailed off, unsure if you should really tell him anything.

Jungkook picked up on your hesitation, so he gently prodded you to continue. He needed to know what happened, even if it made you uncomfortable to say. He couldn’t help if he didn’t know how.

‘It’s ok. Take your time... I’m here with you.’ He rubbed your back soothingly, coaxing you to talk.

You looked at your brother for a second. You could see the concern all over his face. He wanted to help you. Attempting to calm yourself down, you took a deep breath and wiped away your tears.

‘He cornered me and he t-touched me..’ You stuttered out and avoided eye contact as you spoke, too ashamed to look your brother in the eye.

Jungkook didn’t need you to elaborate on the word touched. His worst fear that came with his sister becoming an idol had come true. He could feel his anger bubbling up inside, but he tried his best to keep it together for your sake.

‘I managed to knee him in the balls and run away, but I left my stuff behind...’

‘Shit.’ Jungkook whispered to himself, face buried in his hand as the other stilled on your back.

‘You’re safe here, I’ll-‘ Jungkook started to address you, but suddenly stopped when two other men burst into the room.

‘Hey! Sorry we’re late!’

Fuck. He’d completely forgotten he’d invited Taehyung and Jimin over tonight. Taehyung abruptly stopped when he saw you, causing Jimin to almost run into him.

Blush formed on your cheeks when you noticed both men staring at you in confusion.

You quickly got up without a word and ran to Jungkook’s bathroom. You felt like you really needed to shower.

As soon as the bathroom door slammed shut, Jimin and Taehyung turned to Jungkook for answers. He reluctantly told them to sit, and began explaining your situation. If they also knew, then maybe they could help in some way.

‘What the fuck!?’ Taehyung shot up and burst out as Jungkook finished explaining. ‘How could this even happen without anyone noticing!?’

‘I don’t know.’ Jugkook sighed with a shake of his head, suddenly feeling like he’d lost all his energy.

Taehyung and Jimin shared a look, both equally as angry about what happened to you.

You were their maknae’s twin sister, which automatically made you family to them.

In the bathroom, you’d turned the shower up as hot as you possibly could. You could still feel his touch on your skin and it made you feel dirty. Especially where his lips had touched your neck.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying once again as you scrubbed at your skin.

The heat had made your skin heat up in a light shade of red. The amount of time you’d spent in there, you were sure Jungkook would have no hot water left.

Little did you know whilst you were showering, Jungkook was receiving a frantic phone call from Chan...

Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin had been talking furiously back and forth about the situation and how to approach it, when Jungkook’s phone suddenly began to ring. He had every intention of ignoring the call, when he caught a glimpse of the caller ID.

‘Wait guys! Chan is calling me!’ Jimin and Taehyung immediately shut up and gestured for him to answer.

‘Oh thank god you answered!’ Chan sighed in relief as soon as Jungkook answered. ‘Has Y/N been in contact with you? We can’t find her anywhere!’ Chan was clearly panicking from the tone of his voice.

‘Yeah she’s here with me. She’s really upset...’ There was silence from Chan’s end for a moment, confusing Jungkook.

‘Chan... Do you not know what’s going on?’  Jimin and Taehyung couldn’t here the other half of the conversation, but both their eyebrows furrowed in shock. Jungkook shot them a look, as he waited for Chan to reply.

‘....Mr. Lee has accused Y/N of attacking him. He’s going off to anyone who’ll listen and nobody knows what’s happening! I’m really worried about Y/N...’

Jungkook’s face paled at Chan’s words. How the heck could this be happening right now?

They needed to figure this out asap, for your sake...

[slasher-male-wife]

Reading to the Lost Boys

I'm trying to work on requests still and I've been thinking about these goobers so I thought I might as well write a little something about them and Y/N who reads to them.

Warnings: Swearing, light teasing

David

He's probably the most educated out of all of them, at least from a literature standpoint so having you read to him is a fun experience. I feel like he's a busy man with shit to do so being able to listen to a book while working on something is great for him.

He's read all of the classics already, probably around the time they came out since I headcanon him to have turned in the 17 hundreds. So you can be an introduction to new types of genres to him if you read things outside of classics.

I feel like David would enjoy dark academia and fantasy novels a lot. I can see him getting really invested in the book drama of it all and having discussions with you about what you think is going to happen next in the book or what character will do what.

Dwayne

Despite being around the longest as a vampire I feel like he's not read that much, at least English book wise. Dwayne's actor, to my understanding is Native American so I feel like that plays a role in part of Dwayne's backstory. But to sum it up I feel like Dwayne speaks multiple languages fluently or semi fluently but he still doesn't read that much.

But he's always happy to sit down with you and listen to you read to him. He's partial to more 'serious' stories like classics or stuff like that. I can also see him being a fan of horror novels that aren't afraid to get really nasty with their content.

He can read pretty well on his own so he'll probably follow along with you as you read to him but he won't stop you from reading out loud to him. He'll honestly savor these moments with you and try to make it a regular, scheduled thing between the two of you.

Marko

Will (lovingly) call you names because you like to read. He'll say it's 'boring' or 'how can you even do something like that without falling asleep' but if you can draw him in with a good story he'll be hooked. I can see him having you finish a book in one sitting if it's really that good to him.

He'll prefer fantasy or sci-fi novels over other stuff. Classics probably put him to sleep and romance will just earn a bunch of comments made by him during the reading of it.

Will want to physically touch you while you're reading to him. Cuddling or just hand holding is mandatory during you reading to him and he claims he can't focus without you touching him in some kind of way.

Paul

Oh my god this man will call you so many names you'll think you're in elementary school again. 'Smartass' 'nerd' and 'point dexter' are probably his favorite names to call you. But if you can lure him in, then he'll behave himself.

He'll want fast paced, action type books to keep his attention. If it's not filled with a bunch of fighting and dragons and stuff he's probably not interested in it.

I can also see him secretly liking romance novels, but in a sort of guilty pleasure way. He'll never admit that he actually likes those novels, but you should keep reading them to him, just for yourself and totally not for him.

[orphicdazai]

strangers in the night | mafia!dazai x fem!reader

❛𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦❜

mafia!dazai x fem!reader. slight angst. lots of fluff. both dazai and reader are 17 here. underage drinking. mentions of depressive thoughts. it's actually pretty long. my first time publishing something like this oop. i have a one shot book fully dedicated to dazai on wattpad! check it out!

also read this with Frank Sinatra's "strangers in the night" for a better experience!

USELESS.

Dazai's existence was absolutely useless.

He never once considered his own life to have any significance or value for him being deemed worthy at any point of his life. How could he when all he experienced was suffering and trauma. He was weak. The weak fear happiness itself. They harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness.

That's why he was so afraid to feel any happiness. He knew he'd get some kind of disappointment sooner or later and that short and small spark of joy will turn out irrelevant and useless.

Dazai's throat burned due to the sake which was poorly held by his bandaged hand, his baggy, red eyes narrowed and just kept looking down to the glass, his depressive thoughts consuming him as per usual. If you actually took a look into his brown eyes, you'd see nothingness itself staring right back at you. Nihilism. Emptiness. Uncertainty. Hopelessness.

His body was usually cold as well and very malnourished at times as he only drank himself to sleep and never seemed to care about his outer appearance at all. It was all irrelevant. As long as he was present at the mafia to do his work, nothing else mattered.

The mafia was the only thing that gave him some type of purpose. If he could call that.

He seemed to be motivated a year ago when he first joined but now... he wasn't sure anymore. He felt stuck.

The young boy was at his lowest point in life. As if he hadn't been through enough already. That his life was capable to go downhill even more wasn't something he ever thought was possible.

Breathing no longer felt like a common thing for him. It was a chore at this point. Everything was. Getting up in the morning especially was very disappointing. Dying while he had finally managed to sleep sounded the most pleasant and painless way to die. But he kept meeting his ceiling every morning, being able to sense and feel his futon underneath him and wrapped around his thin body. He'd smell the alcohol from the bottles scattered around him. He'd have to hear the cars and busy people slide through his ears. And he'd taste the bitterness of not caring to brush his teeth properly every day.

It was the same thing every time.

He wanted everything to stop.

He wanted nothing.

Sir?

Why can't he just disappear?

Sir? Hello?

Why does he have to exist?

"Sir!"

Dazai abruptly awoke from his small dozing off with tired eyes and saw how the bartender of his favourite bar stared at him in pity, his hands cleaning the glass that was now removed from his rough hand. He exhaled through his nose and crossed his arms to lay his head on them for a second, a groan leaving him.

His head hurt.

Inhaling very deeply he stood up and wrapped his dark coat over his shoulders and exchanged goodbyes with the other man, catching onto his body language that the bar was closing and that he should leave. The handsome boy ruffled his hair exhaustedly as he opened the door to exit the bar as the red neon light of the logo illuminated the left side of his face.

Thud, thud, thud.

Someone bumped his shoulder as he turned to his left, not being bothered at all since he felt slightly numb all over and had his head elsewhere for him to register anything.

"Oh I'm sorry."

His head turned slightly to the right, all droopy and empty.

There was you, a young student who had to run errands and just was about to return home and you always did so by walking through this alleyway where the bar was. You stopped in your tracks and locked eyes with the stranger.

You couldn't help but notice how malnourished he looked, hair all unkempt, reeking badly of alcohol. Scrunching your nose at the stench, you took in the rest of his appearance. He was young, handsome but yet so... empty. The way he stared at you with his right eye covered by a bandage - in fact his neck and hands were covered by them too - his gaze on you was brief yet delivered so many things all at once.

Nothingness. Hopelessness. Exhaustion.

He had not said a word after you had apologised and just slowly turned around, his focus on the ground as he didn't want to be a burden to some random stranger like he always was. He was a burden. A heavy rock that just wouldn't leave his close ones' lives.

"Wait."

Dazai ceased his steps and just stood there, his long black coat that Mori gave him swaying a bit when he halted, never turning around still.

You sighed as you began to stride over to him before you were right next to him, slowly and gently making yourself present so you wouldn't overwhelm him. Dazai's eyes moved to your face again, this time having a much better view of your soft features, his eyes unconsciously analysing you as he did with everyone. His brain was always working, even when he wasn't sober.

"What are you doing here, drinking until you can't think?" you asked suddenly, a slight frown on your brows, sensing a new found urge to check up on this random stranger's well being.

You were always like that.

A bright person, who would always make sure that people were okay, that they were happy, taking them into your precious time to give them what they deserved. It's just who you were. You were practically molded to behave this way, you just couldn't help it.

When you saw the stranger's terrible state, you couldn't help but let your empathetic nature take over you.

Dazai, who was still drunk and felt his head getting pierced repeatedly from all the alcohol, not being able to think properly, parted his lips to say something, but didn't yet. His eyes lazily and exhaustedly watched your face, blinking and raising his brows to bring himself to do literally anything.

He was able to form a thought in his so fogged and messed up mind. He thought that you were only wasting your time on him and shouldn't care about him like this. He wished you'd go away.

"'Am tired... that's why," he finally uttered with a slight raspy tone. His voice was smooth and pleasant to hear, it made you calm down immediately for some reason, like honey would calm down a sore throat. His answer was short, his breath stinking of sake to which you dipped your head back a bit, still not trying to seem rude.

It took you a moment to understand at what he meant with 'tired'. It wasn't just him wanting to sleep. No. It was something way deeper than that. He was tired of lots of things, things that may have plagued his mind and he wanted an escape.

You didn't think about it any further as you didn't want to jump to any conclusions and it was none of your business. He's a stranger after all. With a small nod, you shifted on your feet a bit, your hands at your back, standing with a straight posture - a contrast to Dazai's, who was a bit slouched, legs a bit unstable from being so intoxicated.

"I see. You seem quite unstable... do you..." you spoke carefully, the words rolling off your tongue in a gentle manner as you trailed your eyes along his tall frame, "do you want me to help you?"

The brunette didn't say anything for a while. Again, he was reacting delayed, his dark eyes focusing and refocusing while he breathed out of his mouth in a laboured way. This shitty feeling was eating him up at the moment. Yes, he wanted your help. Yes, he needed company but-

"No. I'm fine..." he answered instead, being hesitant about his reply but settled for it. He didn't want to be a burden, that's what he kept telling himself the whole time. Dazai shut his eyes as he held in an unconscious breath before releasing it and licked his dry and chapped lips, tasting the sake again on them.

"I'm... fine," he repeated, though for more to himself than to you.

A big sigh left you at that and looked down once before you stared back at him, who had his attention to the ground now. "You're clearly not,"

Dazai heaved a bit of an agitated sigh at your words, turning his head to you once more, "Look, I appreciate your help but I already told you. I'm fine. I've handled this by myself many times," he gave a sigh of his own, beginning to move his limbs so he could walk.

But before he could, you immediately gripped his arm, halting him again and caused him to look at you with an irritated expression on his face, although there was another emotion that was hidden deep under that shell of his irritation. There was a pleading glow in his eyes, it was very very subtle which you weren't able to see. He wanted to leave. Dazai didn't want to stay here with your (e/c) eyes staring at him like that.

Please leave me alone. Please- just don't look at me like that.

He begged internally but he knew the instant you had that firm grasp on his arm, you had already made up your mind. The mafioso couldn't do anything about it, you had him under your grasp - metaphorically and literally.

At his reply, you breathed out through your nose and formed a small smile, your gaze never lifting off of his face, removing your hand from his arm and stood directly in front of him, face merely a few inches away from his own. The sake breath was now much stronger as it was hitting your face while you took in his features a bit more, finding him so pretty under the moonlight.

"How about this: I will take you to my place and I'll nourish you for a bit, take you to a lovely place where I always hang out when I feel down and take care of you. Physically and mentally. Does that sound good?" you offered, having leaned back to give him more space and intertwined your own fingers behind your back, anticipating his answer, regardless if he said yes or no.

You didn't know why you were so adamant to help this young boy out, but something inside you said that it was the right thing. That he needed this badly, this plan of yours.

Dazai just stared with a slightly surprised face. He was speechless for a moment. The brunette thought he misheard you. What? Nourish him? Take him somewhere lovely? This had to be a joke. What were you thinking? Did he seem that approachable to you at the moment? What did you even like about him, in this ugly state of his?

As he didn't reply yet again, you let out a huff and became a bit impatient. "If you let me do that, I swear I'll leave you alone afterwards. I promise. Just let me take care of you," you spoke, minimal desperation lingering in your tone. You yourself didn't understand your own actions.

The boy opposite you inhaled deeply, a bitter expression on him before he shut his eyes once more and opening them again, "Fine," he breathed out, eyes and the rest of his face softening.

He couldn't help it. Not when you stared at him like that with your (e/c) eyes. He let his inner desires get the best of him, to escape this agonising loneliness for a while.

It wasn't like he was unfamiliar with women wanting to spend time with him after a few drinks at the bar Lupin. He was a well known catch for the ladies and he loved them just as much. Dazai was a natural flirt, natural smooth talker that would get any woman or girl fall to her knees for him. He had that talent in him. And he used it for his own selfish needs or other things. For information or manipulation if needed.

But what he found in your eyes wasn't something lustful. It was actual care and concern swimming in them. You genuinely wanted to treat his terrible state, you actually cared about him.

No woman or girl had ever done this before. He didn't know how to feel about it. Should he be glad? Scared? He simply didn't know.

So after he agreed, you began to head to your place which wasn't far from the bar. As mentioned earlier, you'd always take this route through the alleyway as a shortcut and you would normally take it if you ran for errands.

"What's your name, by the way?" you turned your head as you two walked slowly, since the stranger was still somewhat unstable with his footing.

He turned to you, being ripped off of his thoughts and managed to smile a bit, which you thought was absolutely beautiful.

"Dazai."

He simply answered, no need to say anything else.

You nodded at that and smiled a bit wider as you kept staring at him. "It's nice to meet you, Dazai. I'm (Y/n)," you said politely, his arm occasionally brushing against yours the further your legs moved.

The young man gave you another faint smile of his which you just had to catch a glimpse of and then silently followed you to your home. He didn't have to say anything further as you knew he wasn't exactly in the mood to speak that well. Dazai would sometimes drag his feet forwards, his body losing balance to which you would immediately catch him and keep him up straight.

"Thanks," he'd mutter, absolutely indifferent at this point and not embarrassed since he'd been in situations such as these before. Being touched by a girl, feeling comfortable in her embrace.

"Don't mention it," you'd softly say back with a small smile, the cool air of the night subtly hitting your skins, swaying your hair gently. There weren't many people around where you lived, so you two wouldn't be bothered or interrupted by anyone as you calmly kept walking.

About ten minutes later you'd arrive at the familar neighborhood you grew up in and went up the small stairs that led to your front door and unlocked the keys. Your apartment was relatively tall and average looking to Dazai, who would wander around his eyes in much interest and absentmindedness, his hands in his pockets. The names of your neighbours and the buttons for the bell were plastered on your left side in the booth-like entrance. He'd memorise every name by skimming over them with one pointed look of his, just out of boredom.

You entered the lobby and walked over to the elevator and pressed the button which glowed red around the edges in a circle as Dazai stood next to you, having begun to look better since he took some fresh air. His brown eye wasn't so tired and unfocused anymore but he still felt the strong effects of the alcohol in his system, his head hurting a bit.

Glancing to your left side a bit, you got a short view of his side profile which consisted of a sharp jawline, a perfect nose, soft yet chapped lips and that bandage wrapped around his head to hide his right eye. He was very handsome, you realised again. His hair looked sweaty yet you wanted to run your fingers through them. His mere presence looked so inviting, which was probably the reason why you offered him all of this the first place most likely. But you genuinely wanted him to feel better. He needed it.

Upon the elevator making a 'ding' noise and opening its doors, you both entered and you chose to break the silence. "Dazai, how old are you?"

His eyes found yours again as you two settled in the elevator and then looked ahead of him, shrugging his shoulders before he answered, "Seventeen. You?" the brunette moved his head so it was focused on your direction again while you had pressed the floor number for the elevator to take you upwards.

You looked back at him and smiled timidly, "Me too,"

His face seemed to look even better under the elevator lights, making you see his red cheeks from the alcohol, the shade of his brown eye shining a bit more which made your heart skip a beat. You immediately broke your eyes away from him and fixed your attention to your feet, the mirror beside you, the digital number that went higher the higher the elevator went - anything except his eyes.

What was wrong with you? He's a stranger. Sure you'll be spending time with him but you guys just met.

Still having a rather hazy mind, Dazai's gaze lingered on you, trailing it down your shorter figure and closed his parted lips before turning his head back to his front. A small micro-expression of smugness was evident on his face in a lazy way when his tiredness took over again and his face fell back to indifference.

Cute.

When you reached your floor level, you exited the elevator and went to your door, unlocking it and lead him inside as you two removed your shoes.

Immediately, Dazai would dart his eyes around your place, having noticed other used shoes - female and male - which indicated that you didn't live alone and with your parents in full picture. He seemed glad for you. Someone as sweet as you deserved that. A roof above your head, decent clothes and a family that cared about you and loved you. Then he'd take notice of your place in general. The wallpaper, the aesthetic of it all, pictures, decorations, clothes or items lying around or hung at places. Your house's scent was pleasant. It smelled like fresh coffee beans, even being able to sniff out some laundry that had been recently done. Dazai immediately felt cozy by just standing at your apartment door in those ten seconds alone.

"Welcome to my home. Make yourself comfortable," you said with a polite grin and began to head inside more, guiding him to the living room. Your eyes threw him a short glance as you ran your hand through your (h/c) locks.

"You can remove your coat, you know?" you said, having seen his black coat hanging on his shoulders the whole time, him still being in a somewhat daze.

Upon hearing your words, he blinked, words a bit stuck in his throat as he felt a bit caught off guard. He gave you a nod, slowly grabbing his coat and slid it off of him.

You suppressed a giggle at his expression, finding it a bit amusing. As he had removed his coat, you came closer to him and gently took it from his hands, moving your head up a bit because of your height difference, heart fluttering a bit at that fact as you plastered a small smile. "Let me take that. You go sit on the couch and relax,"

Dazai returned your smile and shook his head in agreement, "Alright. Thank you," he said before he went to the couch and sat down, a quiet groan leaving him at how exhausted he was and only realised how sore his muscles actually were. From stress, his mental condition and his job at the Port Mafia. He leaned against the soft couch and threw his head back, letting out a relaxed sigh with closed eyes.

You had hung his coat next to all other jackets your family owned and then returned to your room, taking a fresh towel with you from your closet and then entered the living room again. When you saw Dazai sitting on the couch that way, a small blush crept up on your cheeks as you found it very attractive. He looked super good in that white button up shirt and that black vest with a matching tie, appearing professional and sophisticated. You cleared your throat at the thought with a frown and then went to stand next to the couch.

"What's up?" Dazai suddenly spoke, his eyes never opening.

Biting your lip at his intruiging yet attractive behavior, you found the words in your mouth and began to speak. "Would you like some water? You know, to sober up a bit,"

The brunette opened his eyes again before fixing them to you, a small smile displaying his lips and straightened his head again, his arms laid on the top of the back pillows. He had a certain glint to his visible eye which you couldn't place your finger on, but it seemed to be amusement. "I'd like that,"

At his answer you nodded and went to the kitchen to get him a cold glass of water and then placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Dazai sat up and leaned forward to grab it before drinking down the water, letting its cold sensation slide down his throat and finally ease that throbbing pain in his head. Your mouth formed an 'o' at the sight and then quickly walked off away to bring something.

Dazai watched you leave with a quizzical look when he saw you come back with a water jug and something else in your other hand. You placed the jug next to his now empty glass and stretched your hand out to him.

"Here," you said softly and opened your palm to reveal a set of painkillers to which his eyes perked up and his lip corners turning upwards slightly.

"Thank you again," he said genuinely and took the set and popped out one pill and brought it to his mouth before filling his glass with water again and swallowed the pill down.

You then shuffled to sit on the couch opposite the one he was on and began to relax yourself as you observed his movements with a faint smile.

Dazai had drunk a few more glasses of water and felt much better and more sober and leaned back again, his eyes locking with yours. "I know I said this a few times, and I can't thank you enough, but thank you for doing this," he said, his mood improving as you had been distracting him well from his previous depressing thoughts.

A giggle escaped from you at that and beamed at him, feeling warmth spread in your chest. "It's really no big deal,"

The mafioso's smile widened even more and laid his hands on his lap as he took in your face once more, absolutely pleased at the sound you made. It was very adorable to him.

After a few seconds you let out an "oh" and turned your body so you could grab the towel you had taken with you from your room and showed it to him. "Right. Since you have quite sweaty hair, I thought you might wanna wash it? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I do recommend you to do it," your tone was gentle and calming as the smile was still sitting comfortably on your lips.

Dazai couldn't help but chuckle at your considering nature, feeling so unfamiliar to such acts towards him and just smiled. As he always tried to. Convincing others of emotions he was supposed to show, yet struggled to even understand them. He'd always worn a mask in front of everybody - except Odasaku. He was different. If Dazai wasn't sure how to act, he'd hoped if he gave a simple smile that the person would accept it and move on.

"I guess I should take up the advice of a pretty girl such as yourself," he said in a smug tone, his flirtatious side returning as usual and stood up from the couch.

A warm sensation made its way to your cheeks at his words, your heart beginning to beat faster as he came closer to you and took the towel from your hands carefully, still smiling down at you. You were stunned and couldn't form any sentence and just stared up to him.

The boy merely grinned at your reaction in delight, knowing you'd do so since he could predict the actions of girls after he chose the right words every time. He then began to move his legs and turned to you again, his hands in his pockets. "Oh right, where's your bathroom?"

Gathering your composure, you cleared your throat and uttered your reply, "Just go straight ahead, the door right next to the kitchen,"

Dazai nodded and disappeared from your vision as you could hear the bathroom door lock. You let out the breath you were holding and rested back against the couch, your heart still beating profusely.

"Why is he like that?" you pouted annoyed with a frown before turning on the TV and chose to watch any show available for the moment.

The sounds of the shower could be heard and you figured that he now began to wash his hair as you suggested. That brought a smile to you face, that he decided to listen to you. Dazai had every right not to, you were still strangers after all but he still did as you asked him to and went to properly take care of him self for once.

You wondered just how much he actually cared about himself - if he actually ever did. The thought made you sad, that someone like him, who seemed charming was actually in a dark place and suffered all by himself. Then your thoughts wandered over if he had someone who cared about him like you did. If he had someone to talk to, to vent out to, share his inner most feelings. The imagination at that not bring an option for him released such an unpleasant and upsetting feeling in you.

Poor guy.

Minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Dazai stepped out, the scent of your shampoo spreading throughout the apartment, hitting your nose which soothed you greatly. He then walked in the living room with his hair all wet and messy, looking way more refreshed than before. He might've become even more handsome.

You managed a smile and looked him up and down, content with everything at the moment.

The young handsome man stared back at you with the same smile and would dry up his brown locks with the towel you gave him, stepping closer to you. "You were right with this. I feel much better," he beamed, his brown eyes having more light in them now.

Joy spread inside you at his words and giggled softly, "I told you so," you sighed and tapped your fingers on the armrest of the couch. "I'm glad you're doing better,"

He didn't answer as he kept his gaze on you, the eye contact between the both of you longer than needed, making your face grow a bit red before you spoke up again to get rid of the awkwardness within you. "So... you wanna dry your hair, I assume?" you teased a bit.

Dazai chuckled at that, "Yeah, that'd be very much appreciated (Y/n)," he threw you an amused look.

As you had taken a closer look at him, you had noticed something. "Wait- Did you take one of our bandages for your eye?" you observed, narrowing your eyes.

He looked away from you for a second, bringing a hand behind his wet hair and shrugged with raised brows, "Maybe?" he admitted by meeting his gaze back with yours and grinning cheekily.

You shook your head at that with a soft chuckle and stood up, "Seems like you got the skills to spot and find things quickly, even in unfamiliar places, huh?" you mused, very impressed by him, even though rummaging through some stranger's stuff was a bit questionable but considering his rather reasonable nature, you knew he didn't have bad intentions or was rude.

The male shrugged once more as he looked down at you with a small smirk, holding the wet towel in his hand as his brown hair stopped dripping of droplets of water. "I suppose so,"

You then led him back to your bathroom and brought your blow dryer from your room and handed it to him. He thanked you again and you stayed at his side this time while he did his job, having crossed your arms as you watched him stand in front of the mirror.

The heat of the blow dryer would reach you from time to time, actually feeling quite nice, the hair on your body standing up at the warm feeling, the sound echoing throughout the bathroom. When Dazai was finished he unplugged the object and wrapped the wire around it before giving it back to you. You smiled in response and continued to pin your eyes to him, who adjusted his hair a bit more, staring into his reflection. His eye met yours again through the mirror and you both found yourselves smiling upon that unconsciously, a certain atmosphere hanging between you.

"Alright then," you started, taking a basket and filled it with fresh fruits your mom had bought recently with some chips, sweets of all kinds, biscuits and soft drinks as well.

Dazai quirked an eyebrow at your actions as he kept eyeing your movements, growing more and more perplexed by each second. "What are you doing?"

You turned to him next to you and began to smile widely. It was the way your face brighened up as you glanced at him, radiating that warmth he grew to like the moment you had declared to take care of him just minutes before. The sentiment of it so right, so delicate, he could drown and bask in that warmth of yours any time. And your eyes shone in a way that would send a small shiver down Dazai's spine and that smile... Oh that smile of yours.

"You'll see," you gave him a teasing giggle as excitement continued to fill you. Stuffing some more things into the basket, you asked him, "Could you give me that red and white checkerd cloth, please?"

He did as you told him, walking over to the corner of your kitchen and then gave it to you which you put in the basket as well before shutting it closed, its weight making your arm go weak. Dazai took notice and formed a small smile holding the object from underneath so it wouldn't be too heavy for you.

"Here, let me take it," he offered and slid the handle off your arm and gripped it with his right hand, the bandages wrapped around it really accenting all the curves and bones. You accidentally stared at it a bit longer than you intended and then immediately looked away, to his eyes, a faint tint of pink on your cheeks.

"Thank you."

You then led him out of your home after you two wore your coats, as it was almost 2 am in the morning, the weather much colder than before with the moon shining brighter onto you both, illuminating every inch of your path beautifully. The only sounds that could be heard were your footsteps since you were the only ones outside, complete silence except for some grasshoppers engulfing you.

Both of you loved the night.

It was the best time of the day, providing you a period of time fully to yourselves, your thoughts, your wishes. Was it the way the darkness of the night that hung above you every day resembled the one that lived inside you? Was that why you loved it? Did you find an odd sense of comfort knowing you were surrounded by that very darkness?

"So tell me... where are we headed?" Dazai questioned as his footsteps synced with yours.

His voice reached your ears after a long pause of silence, the tone gentle and full of curiosity. You could sense how much better he was doing. This made you so happy.

"Just trust me on this. I want to surprise you," you grinned at him to which he chuckled beautifully.

You took the handsome stranger to the place you'd escape to when you felt mentally drained, spending your time there as long as you wanted, being comforted by the stars themselves than your own people. It was at a meadow further away from your place but not very far that you'd grow tired. The exact spot was something like a cliff of some sorts but the area was filled with all kinds of flowers and nature. If you were to look up at the night sky, the moon would smile back at you, sitting close to you at that very spot.

Arriving at your comfort place, you faced Dazai, still wearing a big smile as he looked down at you with a soft expression, anticipation flowing in his dark eyes. "Close your eyes,"

Again, he did as you asked him to, unintentionally smiling, awaiting this surprise of yours. The beat of his heart grew stronger as he sharpened his ears to listen to anything you did, becoming impatient by each second due to excitement.

You immediately took the basket from him and took out the red and white checkered cloth and spread it on the grass ground and then put the basket on top of it. Taking the food out one by one, you made sure to make everything presentable for Dazai. You wanted this to be a memorable night for him after all. The ripping of flower stems could be heard faintly as you placed various types of flowers across the cloth and properly seated yourself among the things you set up.

Then you looked back to the young boy in front of you who was waiting patiently and had his eyes closed the entire time, looking so cute.

"You can look now."

Upon that Dazai unsealed his eyes and met with the sight of you having prepared a night time picnic for him to which his mouth hung open in utter shock, his eyes growing a bit wide. You kept surprising him every moment and he wasn't complaining. Something in your eyes was so inviting. Something your smile was so exciting. Something in his heart told him that he must join you, to not hesitate even one bit, to spend this precious night with you. He felt something so unfamiliar within himself. He just couldn't explain it. What was this feeling? The boy hadn't felt it in a while he gathered.

It was the feeling of pure joy.

Without wanting to waste any time, he sat down opposite you, his sparkling eyes marvelling at the food he saw you pack in the basket with confused ones moments before. He never expected this night to go to any of this direction when he was rotting in that bar before. Never would he have thought to have someone as enticing as you by his side when he had those agonising and life draining thoughts. Never.

"You did this... all for me?" he locked eyes with yours after taking in everything around him on the ground, absolute admiration living in those brown hues.

A blush tainted the soft skin on your face, nodding your head as you took a strawberry in your hand and smiled gently towards him, "Yeah. To make you feel better. I told you, didn't I?" your voice was so sweet, so pretty, Dazai loved the tone so much. That sincerity which would always cling onto every each word leaving your soft lips.

He'd smile greatly at you, his heart fluttered at your actions. He absolutely didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve you.

You brought the strawberry near his mouth and kept holding onto that softness on your face. "Eat it," you urged meekly.

His lips stayed in the same position as he leaned in and took a bite of the juicy fruit, it's sweetness spreading on his taste buds, earning a hum from him. Dazai took more bites until it reached the white part, which you then put away in an extra plastic bag for the trash and extra. The lovely flavour still lingered in the brunette's mouth, the saccharine sensation having given him a push of serotonin.

Just like her own sweetness.

"That was splendid, dearest," he commented, his eyes never leaving yours.

You let out a soft giggle, tilting your head, also not breaking eye contact. "I'm glad, Dazai,"

After that you both tried everything you had taken with you for the night picnic. You made him eat the chips, the sweets and the biscuits and each time he'd give you such an adorable reaction. He was so precious. It warmed your heart so much to the point you swore it was beginning to become dependent on his presence. Seeing him so joyful at the littlest things actually made you sad in a way. Spending time like this was the bare minimum.

Did he really never get any of that?

This caused you to nourish him even more. To help him, take care of him even more.

"What brand is this?" Dazai asked as his cheeks were stuffed with the biscuits you brought with you.

You laughed at his adorable little antics and pinched that very cheek of his. "It's (brand name). You like it?" your entire being relaxed by just looking at him.

He nodded in response, gazing back at you, "Very much,"

You hummed, a smile tugging at your lips, "You can take the whole package then if you'd like,"

"Really?" his eyes shone bright, a childlike wonder on his face.

Heart racing deeply within your chest you giggled once more, "Yes. Take it,"

Dazai couldn't describe the feeling he had when he was with you in this very moment. It was like he could be a child again, make up for all the times and experiences that were stolen from him. He wished nothing more than to just spend the rest of his time here with you, at this wonderful environment, away from blood, violence, the stench of dead bodies and that physician's cold and piercing glare.

When you two had craned your necks to look up at the sky, the time being 2.30 am, you just enjoyed each other's company while admiring the stars, which stood out in the darkness more than usual.

"That one looks like a bunny, don't you think?" you pointed towards the stars above you as you two were sitting next to each other a bit more, having decided to filter out some star constellations.

Dazai raised a brow at that with a chuckle, "A bunny? You think so? Looks like noose to me," he corrected with a casual shrug.

Your mouth hung open at that with wide eyes and a frown, "What the hell? A noose? Are you serious?" you asked in disbelief and genuine confusion.

He nodded in honesty, seeing no problem with his claim, "Yeah? Is that bad?" he had an innocent spark in his eyes which really made you question things.

Moving your head upwards again, you asked him yet again, "And that one? What do you see?" you wanted to be sure if he was joking or actually serious.

The mafioso glanced to the spot among the beautiful stars and moved his mouth, "A gun or knife of some sort... I don't know," he said with another shrug, turning back to you.

A huge sigh left you at that and made your whole body face towards him a bit more, face growing a bit concerned now. "Dazai... are you... are you okay?"

When you questioned him that, he made note of your tone, how soft and wary it was. The question made him look down to his lap, taking a breath before answering you.

"Not really."

So your suspicions were right about his mental state. You decided to ask further.

"I'm sorry to hear that... Do you want to... maybe talk about it?" your eyes scanned his now more serious face.

He was breathing calmly and then latched his eyes back to your own face. "I suppose we could... but only a few things..."

"Of course, that's totally fine," you formed a comforting smile.

Dazai instantly mirrored your expression before he told you about some of his struggles. His heavy and deep depression. His suicide attempts which made you sick to your stomach but served as an explanation for the bandages around his whole body. Your heart would sink every time he'd describe his emotions... if he could even call them that.

"What about your eye? Was that self inflicted or...?" you tried to act as carefully and respectfully as possible, not wanting him to feel at unease at all.

The brunette merely smiled at your question, grateful to your politeness, "No it isn't. My boss... who happens to be a physician, treated my eye long ago. It's still healing though," he explained, running a hand through his brown locks.

Nodding at his reply, you looked down to your lap. "I see..."

"What about you?"

You heard his voice as you had been in a small daze for a second.

"Hmm?" your focus returned to the boy beside you.

"Did you go through something too? If so, you don't have to share," he wore a warm expression, pools of tenderness in his eyes.

"Do you think life has meaning?" he added once more.

You had to think about that for a moment, gathering your thoughts and emotions, the question being a very deep one of course.

"I suppose to me it does have some meaning. But even if I described it to you, it would be kind of useless don't you think?"

He had to nod at that, pointing his lip corners downwards while he pondered for a second. "You're not wrong, however I'd still like to hear your version of the reason to live," he smiled softly.

That made you smile as well before you stared towards the sky once again, "If you say so... I think that the true meaning of life can't be found so easily. You have to search for it. It isn't presented to you on a silver platter or anything. Life is deceitful, destructive and down right unfair. But despite all of that, it has it's beautiful moments... for someone like you that might seem impossible but trust me... you should cherish even the smallest spark of positive emotion. Just keep it to yourself like how you'd want your wife to treasure the ring you gifted her. I've been through a lot too, not nearly to an extent like you did but I understand how you feel, Dazai. You're stuck in a place I'd never want to return to. I'm glad I escaped that void. And I hope you do that too,"

He listened to every word you spoke, being attentive and tried to understand everything. Dazai liked the way you talked. It was soothing and tranquil. He nodded at your reasoning, finding it somewhat logical.

"I see what you mean. Seems plausible to me," he responded with authenticity. A long and tired breath escaped his mouth as he stared upwards again. "I really do hope to leave this hell hole called mind. I feel so trapped every damn day. I'm just waiting to see the day where I can look at the world through your eyes,"

You smiled with deep emotions within you at his words, feeling the same hope accompanying you, wanting nothing more than his happiness. You didn't say anything after that, thinking your facial expressions were enough to assure him you agreed with him. Darting your eyes around you, you studied the beautiful area again that you had memorised by having come here so many times. No matter how many times you'd return to this place, it would always give you solace like nothing else in the world. Every blade of grass, every tree, every single flower, every brush of wind and every company of the moon was enough.

Your nights here were drenched in long talks with yourself about things that should've been but couldn't be.

"Dazai?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" he answered almost immediately, as if it was a reflex to him to call you sweet names.

You looked back to him with a wide grin, redness coating your cheeks.

"Wanna dance?"

At that you had taken out a CD player and put a Frank Sinatra album into it and skipped to a certain song and pressed play. The sounds of a lovely melody reached your ears, flutes, violins, the bells and drums echoing around the beautiful area, the scent of the flowers making the experience much better.

'Strangers in the night exchanging glances. Wondering in the night. What were the chances we'd be sharing love before the night was through'

Dazai made a satisfied sound at the song playing and smiled broadly. "Excellent song choice, belladonna," he moved his head to you as you two were standing now, next to the picnic set up.

"I know," you said cheekily with a giggle when you held your hand out to him. "Will you allow me to dance with you, good sir?" you joked playfully.

He chuckled, completely enthralled by your idea, giving you a short nod and placed his hand on yours, gently holding it, his slightly rough skin colliding with yours. You two came closer, having had this proximity again like before, when you had asked him to come with you. There was this tension, this feeling that was constantly clinging onto you which just never let you tear your eyes from each other. It was like time had came to a halt whenever your eyes met.

Dazai's other hand found your waist as yours did with his shoulder without any question, as if you two had done this multiple times before. You'd smile like idiots when you two got ready in a comfortable stance to dance along. And that's what you did.

You let him take the lead as the calming and nostalgic song played in the background, laughing amongst yourselves. Whenever he'd take a step, you'd follow immediately, his hold on you so careful and graceful, you felt as if you were a princess in his arms. The sound of his breathy laughter was like music to your ears. He was just too breathtaking to you.

His hand that was gripping yours moved above your head and made you spin for him, you giggling at the action before he caught you again, pressing your back against his chest. The whole time your smiles wouldn't disappear. How could they when you were having such a lovely time together. Your stomach flipped at the feeling of his body pressed to yours, never ceasing to blush at Dazai's every little movements.

Right after you turned around and took his hand again to make him spin as well, earning a pretty laugh from him yet again, his brown eye glistening under the moonlight like never before this whole time you two had been together. Your hand was practically glued to his as you didn't want to let go, since his skin was so comforting, like a pillow. Everything about him was, to he honest.

"Turned out so right, for strangers in the night."

You both sang in unison, absolute glee dancing along with you, the words somehow having latched themselves onto your brains, making you think further, to other places. The young boy's face was close to yours, close enough to feel his breath on your skin, having a great close up view of his beautiful features that you found yourself adoring each time. Impossible was it to rip your gaze away from those deep, profound and complex chocolate eyes.

The air around you changed yet again, your hands on his shoulders, his on your waist, the gap between your bodies almost non-existent, just breathing calmly. You could swear his eyes flickered down to your lips, yours doing the same automatically. But you both never went any further. The two of you had flushed faces and had your throats stuffed with unspoken words.

You inhaled deeply with a deep blush, eyes darting to your side, to the picnic before you got too lost and too comfortable in his hold, "We should..." you trailed off.

Dazai's hands relaxed on your waist, a short exhale coming from him, sliding his touch down to your hips cautiously and smiled in understanding, "Yes we should,"

As it had become 3 am already and the weather was getting colder, you both chose to pack the leftover food back into the basket, Dazai carrying it again for you while you slowly made your way back to your apartment. He had given you his coat since he could tell how you were trembling a bit, you holding it close to your body, smelling his cologne and a bit of alcohol and sweat too, but it wasn't that unpleasant. Just having spent this time together you could feel how much closer you had gotten. You were so much more comfortable in each other's presence.

The thought of each other's lips wouldn't leave your minds or your scents, and how intoxicating they were to the other. It felt like both of your presences were now actively and permanently living inside your heads, sending waves of happiness to each other.

Once you arrived back at your doorstep, you spun around to face him again, wanting to see that soft expression of his again. A bitter feeling washed over you at the thought of never seeing him again after this. Not being able to hear his laughter anymore or to just listen to him talk.

Dazai travelled his eyes down to the basket and held it higher, "Should I come with you again? To help you carry the basket upstairs?" he asked with care.

He was such a gentleman, you appreciated it so much. You shook your head slowly and stepped closer to him. "No, it's fine. I can do it myself," you reached out and took the basket from him, it being much lighter due to you two having eaten so much of the food. He was still gripping the biscuits package you let him take for himself though.

Your eyes found his again and you just kept staring in silence, his brown ones examining you once more, wanting to burn your memory into his vision and mind as much as possible. You did the same, your attention glued to his gorgeous face.

"Um... my..." Dazai pointed towards you, a small chuckle leaving him.

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot," you smiled in embarrassment and slid off his long black coat and handed it back to him, which he accepted eagerly with a giggle and draped it back onto his shoulders just like when you first met him.

The young male released a breath and scratched his hair, his eyes looking a bit gloomy. "So this is goodbye huh?"

Your whole face frowned at that, not actually ready to take the final step as your heart strings were tugging you towards him, telling you to not leave him. Pouting at his words, you nodded, your own emotions of dissatisfaction evident on the outside.

"It seems like it."

Silence had filled in again for a moment longer after that. The tension grew even more heavy, almost as sharp as a knife.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me. I really enjoyed every second together with you, (Y/n)," Dazai spoke wholeheartedly, even a bit of affection lurking in his smooth voice, his eyes and cheeks no longer red from the alcohol he had consumed. No longer tired, in pain or irritated.

A wide and beautiful smile tugged on your lips, delight and happiness welled up inside you, causing your cheeks to turn crimson. "I'm glad that I was able to make you forget things. Even if it was just for this short time at night,"

He managed a grin, growing so soft for you like for no other girl he had ever before. Man, he was really going to miss you.

"Alright then... goodbye, (Y/n). Belladonna," he said that pet name with such fondness and vulnerability it really made you melt on the inside.

"Goodbye, Dazai. Until we meet again," you spoke with a clouded mind, unlocking the door to lead to your lobby, your eyes always fixed to his.

You'd both stare for a while longer, Dazai walking backwards to keep up with your staring contest, heart pounding in his chest at this bittersweet moment.

"What about your parents though? Where are they?"

He wanted to prolong this a tiny bit more. Wanting to hear your voice.

Your head perked up at his concern, chuckling softly, "They'll return soon enough. Both have their night shifts today," you elaborated rushed in an assuring way, almost fully inside the lobby.

The brunette nodded firmly, smiling brightly only for you once more before he began to turn his body. Your (e/c) eyes watched him do that, biting your lip at the emotions you were experiencing this very moment. It kept eating you up.

Dazai's back was turned to your apartment as he slowly moved his feet to head to his own place but could hear fast footsteps approaching him and he twisted his body back. Having done so, he could see you running towards him, with your pretty (h/c) hair flowing with your movements, that look of determination and yearning in your eyes, those eyes that he would always remember now.

"(Y/n)? Wha-"

That's when he felt you wrap your arms around him tightly for an embrace and he stood still, absolutely frozen on the spot. He could feel your face nuzzled against his chest, that warmth he was so drawn to having made itself present again. Snapping out of his shock, he slowly brought his own arms to your back and pressed you against him, a huge smile making its way on his handsome features, burying it into your shoulder as he inhaled your addicting scent.

The hug lasted only for a few seconds when you pulled away to look into his eyes and examined his beauty once more before leaning in and planting a soft kiss to his cheek. When Dazai felt your tender lips on his skin, he was frozen yet again, your warmth having disappeared in a flash as you had gone inside the lobby already, the door closing behind you, any evidence of your existence having completely vanished.

The young executive was still trapped in a trance, replaying the scene in his head multiple times with a racing heart before he eventually left the area. What drove him insane was that your scent was still lingering on him, not just the shampoo he had used on his hair before but that sweet perfume of yours.

In fact your beautiful face was still swimming in front of his eyes. The heat that you radiated when you walked side by side. The food you ate together with the taste still present on his tongue. The Frank Sinatra song unconsciously playing in the back of his head and the sight of you dancing with him among a flower filled meadow, the moon gleaming onto you both.

He'd glance down to the biscuits in his hand every now and then, hearing your lovely voice saying he could take the package with him. So kind. So generous.

He wanted to feel every emotion you had brought out of him this whole time. From the moment he met you until the sweet kiss you gave him. He wanted you by his side again but his job wouldn't allow that and he certainly wouldn't want someone as precious as you to be involved with the mafia in any way. You didn't deserve him nor did he ever deserve you.

Never did Dazai ever think he'd genuinely get attached to a stranger, a girl so quickly like he did with you. And it scared him. He was so torn. Part of him wanted your angelic aura next to him, the other wanting you far away so he wouldn't get either of you hurt. He couldn't risk it.

He cared about you. He was actually concerned about your well-being. Just what kind of spell did you use on him that it was a bit agonising to leave you behind? If he had a chance to re-experience the night, he'd do it in a heartbeat. As many times possible.

Dazai Osamu ached for the way you treated him. He wasn't used to it - it was super foreign to him but he wanted to dive into that sensation again. Just once. Just a little drop of it even. Just one look into your eyes would've been enough.

All he could think about was you on his way back, your very being burned in his memory now. Forever.

He was never, ever going to forget you.

[eldritch-spouse]

Can Morrel teach me how to gut someone? I know I'm not a chef but I'm just really interested and it would be such a good bonding experience cough I have a gore fetish cough

[Hhhhn yes. Good.]

TW: Description of gore; Implied cannibalism; Erotic gore; You know the drill.

You haven't quite recovered since Morell slit his throat.

It was so quick. He's always so quick. Brutal. You keep getting surprised at how casually he'll massacre your kind like they're actual farm animals. It's so odd that the chef spares them a dehumanizing stare, genuinely perceiving these people in the likeness of mere creatures as soon as they're on his kitchen- And yet, you're somehow not in that category to him. Mercifully. Bizarrely. Suspiciously.

But hey, you had thought earlier, things already went to shit. You're never making it out of here. So you might as well lean into some less graceful urges.

" Are ya listenin', Piglet? Eyes up. "

Oh.

You had been fixated on the clean cut across the body's throat, having tuned out some of the chef's droning about how you have to cut around the anus and use zip ties to properly pinch it off, or what to do with the genitals -Testicles and such in this case- If you want to keep them. It's genuinely fascinating stuff to learn. Morell seems endlessly giddy to be teaching you this, and you're equally happy to obscenely watch him manhandle his meat stock.

A blink is all you offer when he finishes cutting off the upside-down dead man's shaft, placing it aside.

" Dingus. " He reprimands. " What do we do now? "

There's a pause as you flick through some shelves in your brain, pushing excitement aside. Well... Oh yes, you like this part.

" Uhm, cut from sternum to groin. "

The shroom lights up, grinning wide. " Smart piggy. " There's a breathless quality to his voice, his cheeks are vaguely blue with flustered enthusiasm, and there's blood stains on his smock where he's been palming at himself with a free hand whenever he wasn't using both to secure "the pig". You shudder, though Morell's next words are what makes a shine sparkle in your eyes.

" Ya wanna do this part, pumpkin? "

Your loins jump.

" Yes! Y- Yes please. "

He murmurs something into his scarf, as heated as you are, fetching a different knife from the table beside him, something you can handle. The chef moves to stand behind you, handing over the sharp utensil and pinching the skin where you need to start cutting. You can feel how hard he is and try to grind backwards, rewarded with a chaste bite to the shoulder.

" Focus. " He warns, playfully patting your hip. " Remember, slow an' easy, ya don' wanna puncture any organs. Gravity's gonna help ya some anyway. "

There's no way you'll make a mistake here, it's the part you like seeing him do the most, after all. Saliva sticks to your throat as you start zipping down carefully, hairs standing on end from the distinct sound of skin splitting apart. At some point, Morell's heavy breathing has you whining quietly in arousal.

" Fuck yeah, piglet. Ya got a talent. " He praises, as you appear to be doing exceptionally well for a first timer. Pride swells within you.

His hands go from stroking over your sides feverishly to sliding into your pants, rubbing at you through the thin fabric of your underwear with bloodied digits. Although your eyelids flutter and your legs tremble slightly, you're able to pull the main entrails out as they hang off their husk. Morell whispers praise for your prowess, occasionally commenting about how lucky he is to have found you.

Having been turned on beyond measure since the very start of this whole process, it doesn't take too long before you're getting close, bucking into the monster's rough motions while shakily cutting away at persistent connective tissue. He moans low at the sight and you honestly think you'll come if he does that again.

When you believe the step is completed, you fully give into the chef's lewd rubbing, head tossing onto his back as you desperately chase after that sweet coil, holding onto his arms, clipping out moans, so very close-

Until that hand slips out your pants.

And, to be perfectly frank, only the smallest bit of self-control prevented you from stabbing him in frustration.

" But-! "

Morell barks his laughter, teasingly slapping your now sensitive nethers, before placing a chaste peck on your cheek.

" Hold them horses, we ain't even got to tha ribs, darlin'. "

Absolute asshole. At least this part is good too.

" Can... Can you tear them? I like seeing you do it with your bare hands... "

Morell's eyelid twitches, he seems to steam like a kettle on a stove. " 'Course sweetie. "

Somehow, you don't think it'll take too long before he's ramming into you over the nearest counter.

[fatuismooches]

SMOOOCHES!! Hii my lovely dove!! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ʚ🍓ɞ

Okay okay! I know I’m flooding your inbox again but I have some fluff! (With angst) so if you don’t mind! —Okay I just have to say that soft Dottore is <3 especially since he’s cold and serious all the time (and doing evil man things) so him being soft for his lover could make me cry!! (especially since although he may have a soft spot for you him actually being full blown soft is like once in a blue moon) Okay okay so! Dottore most likely takes a few weeks or maybe more than a month to make new medication for Fragile!Reader whenever his last prototype fails. And with it I’m sure he gets frustrated, of course never to sweet little you. But, at times these medications he makes can have their side effects. Which is why Dottore almost always supervises you himself whenever he injects you with these medications. Since well, your fragile body sometimes may reject them, or lead to you on some occasions feeling fatigued or nauseated. So usually when you do receive a new medication you find yourself in his lab for most of the day. Always having to inform him how you’re feeling and if something feels off. Zandik of course is always keeping a keen eye on you even if he might be busy with some experiment. As one moment you can be talking about some fun thing you had done with the clones a few days ago, and the next you could be vomiting or worse, faint. So to say that Zandik isn’t concerned about you is an understatement. He really wishes he didn’t have to experiment new medications on you every few weeks or so to hopefully cure your illness. (He has injected at times some of his “patients” with the medication he’d use before giving it to you, but since your body is frail and weak the outcomes are always much different than compared to a regular healthy person) but Zandik would definitely let you sit on his lap while he works. Since he knows you’re very very vulnerable in this state. Which he doesn’t mind (as much as he hates to admit it Dottore is quite possessive over you) and he’ll even gently caress your hair with his free hand while the other writes away. So although you may feel yucky and absolutely exhausted. Zandik tries his best to alleviate your pain. Since you always say that being near him or being held by him makes you feel 1000% better. (Which he knows may not be true in actuality, but he just wants to make his lover happy) ૮꒰ྀི⊃´ ꒳ `⊂ྀི꒱ა

But I hope you enjoy this brainrot I thought of this at like 12 AM at midnight since the power in our neighborhood was out for a whole 2 hours this past Sunday. It was kinda creepy seeing all the houses and streetlights have no lights turned on. The heat was unbearable Ꮚ ᵒ̴̶̷̥ ‸ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥ Ꮚ but I hope you’re doing absolutely wonderful! I love u so so much I give you so many hugs and chu chus!! I just wanna squeeze n cuddle u smooches !!! >< may you have an absolutely wonderful week and continue enjoying the rest of your summer!

-From your dear boo boo 🎐 anon! ໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১

🎐 ANON BACK AGAIN WITH THE BEST BRAINROTS!!!

I am happily consuming soft Dottore, thank you for this sm 😭 (soft dot has been on my mind lately, I'm just. I need him to cuddle me) You’re so right, if he isn’t being serious, he’s being cunning or mocking too, so seeing him being actually genuine with his love for you!! Is so! <33 You can’t help but feel special because you’re the only person who will ever witness him like this!

It’s kind of funny actually. Dottore, the mad doctor, spending this much time on a cure. Helpful medicine. Everyone else would guess that instead he’s concocting poisons and injections to hurt others with (which they aren’t wrong) but they would never guess he’s carrying out genuine doctor things. Which he honestly couldn’t blame them for. If anyone saw how softly he acted with you, well… either they’d be dead, or he’ll never live it down if it was one of the Harbingers.

You dread taking new medications or getting shots, but you can’t help but feel you owe it to Zandik. You know how hard he works on these things, only for them to not work. His expression remains the same but you know he feels disappointed every time nothing seems to change in your condition. At the very least, you have a good amount of time to finally hang around him uninterrupted. Archon knows how challenging it is to be a Harbinger’s spouse, much less Dottore’s, with his schedule and lack of time. And to have his undivided attention on you? Phew.

Being treated by him so softly is enough to make you swoon!! But too bad you feel too tired to do that, so you have to opt for snuggling into his chest on his lap (which is arguably more comfy than your bed.) Feeling his gloved hand stroke your hair along with the soothing sound of pen against paper is far more relaxing than you thought it’d be. It felt like you could sleep for hours. Seeing him so concerned about your needs was so <3 to you, even though you felt crappy and down, he still wanted to be in your company and comfort you too <3

Omfg I love this crazy psycho doctor man so much. He would be so good with you too, he would have all the necessary equipment and such when you start to show certain side effects, already have his bed prepared for you to nap in if you get tired. He has many notebooks dedicated to you and how your condition, mental and physical, has changed over the countless years, he even has a section for new things he noticed about you and certain things you told him that he found amusing. Of course the lengths he would go to for you is limitless and he’d have some unwilling test subjects ready for whatever batch of medicine he’s working on next 🚶‍♀️(This is a little hc I thought of literally just now, but I was thinking, since he’s a doctor and all, he probably draws diagrams of the body every now and then, so what if he doodles you sometimes ;( he finds himself drawing your hand with your wedding ring on it!!)

I’m so sorry about your power! I would be so scared, I hope you’re okay now 💖 I am doing fine, I hope you are too my dear boo boo 🎐 anon 🫶🥰 GIVING YOU MORE HUGS AND KISSES SMOOCH!!! ILY!! ENJOY YOUR WEEK TOO!! As for me, I just hope I’m able to move around this summer. Whenever it’s hot, all my energy is sapped out of my body lol🧍‍♀️

[fedorah-the-explorah]

fan fiction ideaaaaaaaaaa! ❤️

Shadowsan has to trust chief with his life during a caper, and Carmen knows that it’s like the only way to save some sort of artifact or something like that, but she doesn’t trust chief whatsoever, due to the trauma that cheif did kill Carmen’s biological father, so Carm is like super scared and worried for Dadowsan.

I just thought it was a good idea, something that could be used later on for you, but it’s like your choice if you actually want chief to make a mistake and then something happens to shadowsan, and then Carmen is like super pissed…….like dangerously pissed………but it’s totally up to you if you want to make it a happy ending or a sad ending lol 😘😘😘

your amazing and tysm for all you do for this fandom, your pretty awesome and I see ur stuff all the time, you are a writing genius pretty much lolll ❤️

Omg stop it, I'll cry right now-- that was such a kind thing to say about my writing. It really made my day ❤️

Anyways, here ya go! It's not very long and I'm not sure it's quite what you had in mind, but I'm happy with it. This takes place post series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was a light stepper, but that's never meant much to him. He raised her from infancy; he knew her presence well.

"Are you going to lurk there all day," he asked, "Or are you going to say hello?"

He turned around, abandoning the task of polishing his newly--and legally-- acquired swords. Carmen glanced at him wordlessly, contributing nothing. She was sullen as stared down at the hotel room's desk, absently running her fingers along the surface. Her lips were slightly pursed and her eyebrows were drawn. He recognized the look well, and seeing it, he may as well have been picked up by the scruff and placed back in time twelve years.

Black Sheep had never been much of a reticent child, but when she wanted something she knew they wouldn't allow, she took her time to work up the will to ask. She would become silent and broody, and Shadowsan always found it amusing how transparent children could be.

"Is there something you want?"

She glared down at the desk, fingers drawing still. He folded his hands behind his back as he waited on her.

"...Let me come with you." She said.

"No."

"Shadowsan."

"You are in no condition," He said, nodding to her arm in a cast. "How did that even happen?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She muttered.

He hummed and made a mental note to ask Player about it later.

"I thought you were out of the game," She said, "What changed?"

He looked at her, eyebrows raised. "I could ask the same of you. Why are you here, Carmen?"

She snorted. "I'm only partly retired. You know I can't sit still."

He considered this. He nodded.

"Point."

"Why are you doing this, Shadowsan? What happened to living a normal life?"

"This operation hits close to home. Various museums around the country have been the targets of often violent robberies. ACME Intel indicates that Matsumoto could be next."

"'Could be,' huh? Give me and Player two hours and we'll get you definite answers."

He frowned at her, eyes narrowing.

"What is this about, child?"

"I'm not a child." She muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Forgive an old man for his habits."

She turned away from him.

"Carmen."

She stared at the floor, shoulders held stiffly with tension.

He pressed again. "What is bothering you?"

She huffed. "It's just..."

She trailed off, her fists clenching as she spun back around.

"...Why do you have to work with her?!"

He blinked, somewhat taken aback. That's what this was about? She'd come all the way to Japan just to plead with him against working with ACME's chief...? He thought her issue with the Chief had been long resolved, was there something he was missing?

"I mean, what's it even about? Chief doesn't do field work! That's weird! And why couldn't you have partnered with literally anyone else? Fuck! You, Zack, and Ivy have tons of experience working together. You could have worked with Jules, or Devineaux, or even Zari! I don't trust it."

He grunted. "I would not work with that French idiot even if my life depended on it."

"Why her?"

He hummed. "I imagine it has to do with me being ex-VILE. It would make sense if she wanted to make sure of my allegiances herself."

"That's ridiculous. She has both Zack and Ivy's word. If she trusts them then she should trust you."

"ACME's chief is a cautious woman."

"Oh, really. Wasn't very cautious of her when she pulled a gun on my father."

Oh.

Okay. He understood now.

"Are you worried she's going to..?"

She hugged herself, suddenly looking very unsure of herself.

"No... Yes. Maybe... I don't know. Just let me come with you..?"

He sighed heavily and approached her. He put a hand on her shoulder and waited for her to look at him.

"I will be fine," He assured her, "I've been in and out of this game for a long time. Even if she does try anything-- which I know she won't-- I am perfectly capable of defending myself."

"I know, but--"

"--Have you been doing okay?"

"...What?"

"Have you been doing okay? You know I am happy to have you here, but I must admit that I'm worried about you. You flew all the way here, and for what? To accuse a woman you yourself have worked with of plotting something insidious? It's uncharitable, and I hate to say it, but incredibly irrational."

She pulled away from him.

"I'm fine." She insisted, "God, you and Player sound exactly alike."

"Player is an intelligent young man."

She rolled her eyes. "Alright, fine, whatever. Maybe I'm being unfair, but you'll have to excuse me if I trust a little less after all the shit I've been through."

She swallowed harshly and swiped at her eyes. He watched her silently, a dull ache in his throat and a stabbing desire in his heart to vanish anything that troubled her.

"Perhaps I should move closer to you, I--"

"What? No. Shadowsan, that's-- No. You're finally back with your brother, you don't have to--"

"--I don't have a responsibility to Hideo, Carmen. You're like a daughter to me, and if you're struggling--"

"--I'm not struggling."

"It's okay if you are."

"Well, I'm not. And it's fine. I have Player. You don't have to uproot your entire life for me."

He smiled ruefully. Of course she wouldn't understand, it wasn't her job to.

Back in the beginning, years and years ago, he'd never been one to care much about anything. Life had not been kind to him, and so he was not kind to others. But it was in those early days, the first few sleepless nights before the nannies showed up, that he found himself actually concerned about somebody else. Holding the child, wishing desperately that she would just go the fuck to sleep, he came to reckon with his role in her life. He had, completely and irrevocably, changed the course of her entire life. She was his responsibility, and it wasn't about him anymore. Anything he'd ever do would have to be for her. This was the burden he shouldered.

(he'd choose this burden time and time again.)

"I uprooted your entire life, are you sure you don't want to return the favor?"

She snorted, a small smile that she tried to fight gracing her lips.

"I want you to reconnect with your brother."

"And I want to make sure you're happy."

"I am happy, Shadowsan. I just... have a lot going on." Her voice sort of hitched at the end, and ouch. It pained him to see her like this.

She shuffled closer to him and he recognized the action for what it was. Even as a child, she could never bring herself to ask for affection. She'd just kind of follow you around and stare up at you and wait until you got the message. The other three never quite caught on-- or, they did, and they opted to ignore her. Then there was Coach Brunt, and that was just... Ugh.

Understanding her need, he took her and held her close. She threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I've just been so... weird lately."

"It's understandable after all you've been through."

"I can barely relax."

He had no good response to that. He pet her hair instead.

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know."

"...I um. You know that I love you, right?"

He smiled softly, quiet content spreading warm in his chest. He kissed the crown of her head.

"I know. I love you too."o

[lesbianalanwake]

Re: dark presence rehabilitation, I was wondering... like, what's the goal? (this is based on my personal understanding which might be wrong.)

overall its goal seems to be to escape the dark place? but at the same time it seems like it wants to turn the outside world into something similar to the dark place, a neverending nightmare fueled by people's subconscious. specifically Scratch seems like a bit of a megalomaniac (I will make the entire world worship Alan's (my) writing forever!) (so much fun, geez...) - but... what's the point of escaping then? Scratch himself says in AN smth along the lines of a drop of darkness being absolutely inconsequential in the dark place, but so noticeable and fun in our mostly light world.

so, my suggestion is that the dark presence can stay outside but it ?should limit itself to smaller horrors. spice of life. a nightmare here, a nightmare there. Cats 2 (2025).

FHGHSKGHS drip-feeding the Dark Presence with minor horror allowances to keep it happy. it can ruin Hollywood. for Barry's sake.

it depends on what the Dark Presence and the Dark Place actually are. that could go a couple of ways. I could not even begin to guess which direction. scattered thoughts:

I prefer an explanation like "x entity became corrupted" over anything "inherent." it is man who is evil.

I'm continually wondering if the Dark Presence is, or is part of, a greater entity that got lost/corrupted.

AW2 describes the Dark Place as a mirror. I think the place that we see and experience might only be a sliver - a cracked and corrupted shard, if you will, because it doesn't always produce only suffering and misery and madness. just most of the time. so maybe Presence and Place are both parts of some greater ocean that got metaphysically landlocked.

maybe the Dark Presence is some kind of spirit of the Dark Place, and corruption in one leads to corruption in the other. so where did it start, if they weren't always like that?

the green/red Polaris/Hiss color scheme is all over AW2. Scratch is red like the Hiss. why is the Dark Presence so similar to the Hiss. what does it FUCKING mean, Sam.

(I have been thinking "the Hiss wasn't originally Like That" since I first played Control. something something the Hiss being embodied in Dylan who wasn't originally Like That either. so that makes me wonder even more about the Dark Presence, when they share those similarities. I cannot stop thinking about the apparently dead world that Hedron et al. came from. about the implication that something is eating away at the Oldest House, that its roots are withering. about the apparently empty world of the Quarry and the City. about how empty and occasionally extraordinarily violent the Astral Plane is when we see how full of life and personality the Altered Items are and how many of them don't really mean harm. about what might have made the Dark Place like that. what the fuck is happening out there in the conceptual reality behind this reality.)

there is the possible implication that the Diver had some hand in creating Scratch? maybe? but that goes back to the question of what the Diver is - Zane, the light/Bright Presence, something else. and what the goal is there. who knows.

I've said this elsewhere but I think Scratch in AWAN is more like. a ghoulish sliver of the Dark Presence mimicking reality like Jagger does, a finger of a giant hand trying to manipulate things. whereas Scratch in AW2 is the Dark Presence more fully embodied and also lost in the sauce. and it has fucked up big time by trying to use Alan to escape, tying itself too closely to him, to the point that even its grand escape is distorted by details of Alan's life. I don't think Evil Deerfest is necessarily what it might have originally wanted, but rather a sign that Dark Presence and Alan have overlapped to the point that Alan is changing it. like it's stuck in the Scratch persona now. has put on a skin that it struggles to take off. (but that's just a game theor--)

like. maybe it wasn't always a rabid beast of an entity and the Dark Place wasn't always a nightmare hell world, or maybe it's always wanted to get out of the Dark Place and doesn't necessarily have roots there. but over time Dark Presence/Place have absorbed and reflected so much of whatever corruption is going on that now Presence/Place want to make a distorted fun house mirror out of everything.

except. now the Dark Presence is not solely mirroring and reflecting corruption and "darkness" anymore. it's starting to mirror Alan even after it jumps out of his body, and, like Dylan being the narrative focus of physical embodiment for the Hiss, Alan is a (relatively) normal person who has been trapped and isolated for a very long time, which does strange things to a person. Barbara was just a sweet woman who got very unlucky. maybe the Dark Presence used to be similar. Evil Deerfest is strangely bright. we've seen it change, a little bit. something is going on there.

so I would like to see something a little more nuanced than "killing the evil" or whatever. (especially when it was all that Jesse and Polaris could do just to shut the door on the Hiss. ain't no way it's that easy.)

[weirdducky17]

Personal Headcanons (UnderTale AUs Edition!)

(Part 1/?)

UnderTale, UnderFell and Underswap!!

Tis my personal headcanons of the skeleton brothers! I hope you like my interpretations of these wacky skele dudes!

UNDERTALE:

SANS

Ultimate Pun Master

The Sans-ational Sans

A very humerus comedian

One depressed mf

Very distrustful of anyone outside of his circle of friends and acquaintances

Closed off and introverted but can be extroverted in certain situations

I feel like he's not really someone interested in romance??

If he did have a romantic interest, he would definitely figure out his feelings very quickly but won't act upon them

Papyrus is his #1 Top Priority

Sorry fangirls but papy more important than you :[

Chugs the shit out of straight, black coffee

Naps a lot but is very hyper aware of his surroundings

A light sleeper. Often wakes up at night, def has insomnia.

Bottles up his feelings a lot until someone makes him snap

Very traumatized from the resets which in turn makes him have a very pessimistic view of the world and how he interacts with humans

He needs some loving, this very squishable skeleton :(

I kin him, he's me to a T.

PAPYRUS

The most hyperactive dude you'll ever meet

Wakes up at the ass crack of dawn fs

He has a lot of energy and most likely experiences a long period of burn out as a result

He has anxiety about not doing something active, he's not really someone who likes sitting still

He tends to put a lot of effort in different interests

He can cook great food, he just cannot grasp how to cook proper and edible spaghetti

Coffee gives him headaches so he prefers to drink tea instead, Sea Tea more specifically

Hides his emotions as well from his brother, worries that he's just adding more to his older brother's overflowing plate

If he had a romantic interest, he would he more bold in his displays of affection, sometimes outright declaring it.

His dating manual comes in very handy

Sans needs to pick up his goddamn sock >:[

Easily stressed baby

He needs a well deserved break

UNDERFELL

RED

My favorite boi 💕

Kind of a dick ngl

Very perverted and aint afraid to show this judging by his very suggestive and flirty comments

Wears a loootttt of gold jewelry, he looks great with them okay?

A simp must simp!

He's verryyyy touch starved, so bad its kinda sad—

Gamer boi, very cultured in the gaming community

Is a very pleasant guy once you get pass his flirty and kinda dick-ish behavior

If he had a romantic interest, he would try to deny it as having "vulnerable feelings" is considered a weakness in his underground

He got used to shoving his feelings deeeppp down and kinda just sucks up

But he's still the more expressive one, gets aggressive easily, him being upset is very obvious to tell and when he's happy it's more concealed but he's quite genuine

He's very proud of his brother, he'll do anything for Edge which is why he took the submissive approach in their brotherly dynamic

Doomfanger fucking hates him lol

EDGE

Mr Egotistical

Napoleon complex but taller

Quite an understanding person once you earn his respect

He has high standards and expects people to meet them

A real good cook, one of the few papyruses that makes great food... unless it's lasagna. It's a 50/50 if his lasagna has glass in it—

Best Cat Dad! Doomfanger is a spoiled baby, high quality tuna and fresh milk only for the bestest of kitties

I would hang out with him if I'm in a good mood ngl

If he had a romantic interest, he would expect them to make the first move 100%. This man had no idea how to do love

Def a tsundere

A tea enjoyer, golden flower tea is his favorite

UNDERSWAP

BLUE

No, it's not UwU Blueberry. We don't talk about him 😬

Is actually quite mature despite being quite hyperactive and have a childish nature

Very responsible and loves being active

He is a terrible cook but a great baker! He makes great cupcakes and cakes, needs work on presentation but its the thought that counts 💕

Is an empath, hyper aware of how people feel around him.

Secretly depressed

Gets annoyed pretty quickly

Doesn't back down easily and stands his ground very firmly if he believes he's in the right

Flirts casually and a cheeky person

Secretly insecure about how people see him

Hates being called short and treated like a child

STRETCH

My favorite Papyrus AU 💕

He snores loudly and prefers to sleep on the couch more than his own bed

He tries cutting down on his smoking by eating candy

Is just as distrustful as Sans but more overprotective of Blue

Will actually consider murder if someone hurts his brother

Flirts casually and isn't as interested in romance

He's very touch starved but he prefers to only show it if its his family or his future s/o

How to trust people 101

Very stressed which is why he took up smoking as a stress reliever

He has adult magazines hidden under his mattress, you can't convince me he doesnt— COUGH COUGH

He's a hoarder and quite messy, he has some cigarette butts still left over in his room

Hope you like my headcanons for them!!

Next headcanons are the Star Sanses and then the Bad Sanses!!

[wolfythewitch]

ok so first of all I absolutely love the colors in the first one and the way the light falls across the picture it gives this like sense of hope as if you know this is the first light we’ve seen in a while and that’s just like visually so beautiful and I love it so much but then when it comes to the actual like photo The expression on Phils face like a longing and and surprise and joy and possibly a little bit of pain as he knows what’s to come but he’s happy. Looking at it you can feel like I’m seeing every beautiful memory before me just in that simple expression I’ve never seen someone expressed so much emotion in a still painting in all my years and I’m someone who used to frequent art museums and constantly longs to see beautiful emotion there’s so much complexity in that painting and the way the colors make you feel in the way you just know the passion the artist had and what the artist is trying to portray do you feel like you’re there do you feel like you want to see someone who you haven’t seen in a long time makes you miss those you’ve lost it makes you glad you have the ones you love It makes you want to love someone as much as this it’s beautiful it’s powerful and yet so simple it only took you a couple days to make but the impact it holds is stronger and more powerful and that feeling in surpasses and time space. It’s almost like you captured the human experience in a photo. Yeah it’s just been out for a server that has kind of died out and ended on a strange note but this is the only goodbye I ever want to see because it feels like a goodbye and it feels like a hello. And I’m gonna hold it forever and I’m gonna look at it probably save it on my phone and go back through my camera roll every so often just to give it a nice peek. I’m sending this anonymously because I’m embarrassed about it in fact if I didn’t send it anonymously you would probably recognize who I was because I love you art a lot and am always responding to it 😅 But I had to share this this made me feel super special and I couldn’t not share so thank you for your heart and for everything you do and for the passion you put into it and even your shit posts thank you never stop making art because there art you make it is absolutely beautiful

Awe man anon this made me smile so hard gssjdh I'm glad you like it AAAAA I'm glad the expression hits, I really like how the drawings turned out :DDD I reakly wanted the joy/relief to be palpable hehe

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 50-52

MTMTE 50

all right, back to pain, here we go, my favorite arc in the whole damn thing

“It's the first time we've died together.” what a hilarious punch to the gut this sentence is lmAO

I do like everyone else's reactions to everybody's last words, Starscream's is actually making me a little emotional in how sincere he's being. Fdhjksl and the Scavengers watching like it's a soap opera

love how, much like the deal with the alternate quantum Lost Light that the DJD slaughtered, now this is just a morbidly fascinating bit of insight on these characters, but when I first read this I was panicking lmAO

I like how even though Megatron has sworn not to do any more fighting himself, he's happy to use his experience to guide the others. They're having banter like they're some sort of team or something :')

Rodimus really said “normal people, squishy people, I see no difference, life is life”

jhdkfsak It's not meant to be funny but it is incredibly funny how right after being like “I will never hurt another living creature” Megatron involuntarily punches the shit out of Minimus. Like when I said “womp womp” earlier I was thinking of when Megatron later slaughters the DJD, I forgot he breaks this vow even sooner than that

love all this talk about how the fool's energon might be changing Megatron's personality, knowing that it's literally just unfiltered and kinda gross-tasting and that's it. Placebo is a hell of a drug

aww Lotty is sweet with Megatron

urgh and the lure has been cast...

hook, line, and sinker, we're in it. Man, poor Censere, he never did anything to anyone...

motherFUCKER

god I remember feeling so betrayed by everyone on this page where Getaway reveals that he didn't escape from the brig, he was released by everyone. Perceptor in particular fucking haunted me because I didn't know if all of them knew about the DJD being involved and it took months to finally get to the part where we're told that only Getaway knew about them being involved and everyone else was under the impression that it was the Galactic Council lmAO I couldn't handle the idea of him throwing Brainstorm to the wolves like that

this fuckin speech by Getaway is so funny because this may as well be pulled from one of the many tumblr posts about how no one is allowed to like Megatron or else they're a bad person lmAO I fucking read this exact take on my dashboard so many times and it is still so funny to see it in the canon text after all the bitching about how the comic is not addressing how unfair it is that Megatron didn't get executed immediately for his crimes (even though it did, explicitly and immediately) and the comic obviously must be pro-fascism for trying to give Megatron depth as a character instead of punishing him constantly. Rewind shooting his past self to try to save the rest of the universe and the field of flowers on the Necrobot's planet don't count, those weren't punishment enough, they don't count because they just made him feel bad instead of killing him, he has to die for it to count. You are Getaway, you were all Getaway the whole time and you're stupid and bitter and wrong just like he is. *points at Getaway* that's you, you're the villain

oh that's right, I forgot about this extra bit

DRIFT I fuckin missed you my sweet boy. I do like him subtly turning down Pipes's invite to hang out, he really is just hard wired to self sabotage any chances of starting a friendship, he's lucky that Ratchet's so stubborn

I love Pipes saying if Drift was a short aquatic king, he'd have a massive crush on him. Your loss lmAO couldn't be me, fuckin move over gayboy I'm bout to get it lmAO

gdsfjks poor Ambulon, I'm sorry buddy, the puns are a love language I promise

oougfhjds Chromedome watching over past Rewind, HIS past Rewind... It does feel kind of weird to grieve for him even though he's technically still here. It's different though, it makes sense to grieve for that version of him, they're the same, but it's different

aww everybody pitching in to help clean up Swerve's bar... it's a temporal hot spot, everyone's paths cross here at some point........ or at least they did until SOMEBODY FUCKED IT UP

MTMTE 51

cannot fucking WAAAAIIIIIT for Tarn to get owned

love Magnus saying “Screw Getaway.” Don't apologize for swearing, you're right and you should say it

thousand yard stares at the dust Censere just turned into...

*points at Tarn* haha stupid bitch doesn't know we're gonna fight back and live, you think you've already won, dumbaaaasssssssss

Rodimus I love you and I get that you're stressed but don't ever be mean to Ten for any reason ever again

I admittedly didn't see this take a ton of times but it is burned into my brain regardless from just how angry it made me lmAO but I remember seeing people be angry that everyone decided to stay and protect (what they thought were) the organics, specifically because it was “unrealistic” that all of them would be so selfless. Honestly this take still pisses me off lmfAO the entire. Fucking reason we're here is because these people were quite literally hand-picked to be here precisely because they are the least selfish individuals on the Lost Light and weren't willing to throw their friends, crewmates, and captain under the bus just to get rid of Megatron. They're GOOD PEOPLE, the kindness is the POINT what fucking care bears villain bullshit are you ON

Ten is so good...

fucking godghsdjakfdl this god damn page with Drift and Ratchet showing up in their spiffy new designs gave me the world's most powerful heart attack when I first saw it lmfAO BECAUSE!!! BECAUSE I SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER JAMES FUCKING ROBERTS STATING ON TWITTER THAT THERE WERE NO PLANS FOR THEM TO COME BACK LIKE BARELY A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE THIS ISSUE CAME OUT!!!!!!!! So I was like “aw alright that's fair, we're kind of in the middle of an arc anyway so I get it, no real room to add them in, I'll prepare myself for like another solid year of no Dratchet” AND THEN THEY JUST HFSJDKASLHDFAJSF

aww, admittedly I don't really read the fan letters at the end of some of these comics but even just skimming the ones in this issue, I see a lot of familiar usernames. Not all of y'all were terrible lmAO

MTMTE 52

“If we can team up, anyone can,” he says. Shut the fuck up gayass, you love him lmfAO

gdfjk love Ratchet casually getting his gun eaten and also his entire body almost melted by Helex in the background, just a little low-key brush with death, fun little welcome back for ya

yeah, more feeding into the Roller is Tarn theory, “If YOU could be turned...” I'm gonna be real, I paid attention to Glitch this time around and I still think it makes more sense for Tarn to be Roller lmfAO truly the only connecting threads between Tarn and Glitch is that Glitch had outlier powers that could disable technology and he was present in Orion's old team. He was never shown to be as close to Orion as Roller was and there was never really any explanation for his powers evolving into being able to kill living tech with his voice and also getting his face and hands back and also growing three sizes taller lmfAO I ultimately don't care that much, it truly doesn't matter plot and themes-wise, but if I gotta have a bit of criticism for this comic, I'll tack that one on the board

“Did they waste their lives? Did I waste mine?” literally yes lmfAO jokes aside, this dialogue between Tarn and Megatron rules, love Megatron having to face the living embodiment of himself at his worst

not gonna lie I completely fucking forgot about Overlord lmfAO

gdhsfjk Velocity immediately putting her foot in her mouth while meeting Ratchet... also damn, First Aid talked a lot of shit huh lmAO poor guy's been through the wringer and I guess Ratchet gets the brunt of his bitterness

also fucking LOVE this conversation between Drift and Rodimus, love that Drift immediately jabs at him for not looking for him after he came clean about Overlord. I've seen people criticize this moment, saying that Roddy's apology sucked, and I'll admit, it kinda does lmAO but I think that's kind of the point. It's a very Rodimus apology, and Drift knows that and understands that even though the words being spoken aren't a very adequate apology, the intent behind them is sincere and Drift is a good enough person for that to be enough. He could hold a grudge, he's got the grounds for it, but he just doesn't want to, and fucking good for him, I'm proud of him for that. In fact wasn't there a James Roberts tweet about this where he explicitly said this was meant to reflect more on Drift than Rodimus? I somewhat remember that

pulls up a chair and some popcorn to watch Overlord and Tarn's catfight lmAO

it is genuinely so fucking funny how much Overlord picks on Tarn, I've seen plenty of really funny fan works where the two of them bicker like feuding twitter users but like. No it's completely canon, he treats Tarn like a child trying too hard to be cool and I am fucking LIVING

ah yes, there it is, Tarn ripping Kaon's head off. In addition to all the Tarn-fuckers lamenting that he wasn't their poor misunderstood meow meow, I remember a lot of people saying that Tarn only did this in response to Overlord's teasing, and like. Not really??? I mean I'm sure Overlord didn't help, he was definitely pissing Tarn off, but it's Megatron that pushed him to kill Kaon for the crime of caring about his dog. In Tarn's eyes, he was performing a mercy kill to stop Kaon from becoming “weak” like Megatron, it's really as simple as that. He literally says it on the very next page lmAO

[fairytail-whathesays]

Strauss siblings headcanons? I like all of them but I mean more focus on their relationship with each other. They have so much history and the potential for their developing (familial) feelings towards each other to be explored is ridiculous: before Mira’s arm was taken over, when they were travelling to find answers, when they were in the guild together learning takeover magic and Mira because S-Class eventually, when Elfman lost control of his full body beast soul and injured Lisanna before she ‘died’/went to Edolas against her will while Mira was overseeing them (it was an S-Class one and she was the only S-Class), when Lisanna was gone (but missing Earthland siblings while acting for her Edolas siblings) and Mira worked in customer service and admin type roles rather than use her magic while Elfman only used his arm as they all grieved, when Lisanna came back and Mira and Elfman were both using magic their magic to its full potential, after the 7 year timeskip (they were all on Tenrou) and then after the one year timeskip. Thanks so much. I love your Lisanna, Elfman and Mirajane appreciation posts.

Elfman is actually a lot stronger than his usual battles tend to imply. The Beast was a serious threat in its day, enough to have S-Class Mirajane so badly on the backfoot that she said herself she was getting beaten pretty badly. However, Elfman is still extremely cautious about how much he taps into his Beast Soul forms due to the experience of being unable to turn back and what happened to Lisanna. On raw power, he's definitely S-Class, but he holds back a lot due to restricting himself very stringently to what he knows is safe to use.

Speaking of Lisanna, the canon scenes imply (because Mashima had no plan when bringing her back) that when Anima took her as she was dying, she just...kind of glowed and turned into light particles, when it was previously implied Lisanna died on the spot and was buried. We're gonna tweak this slightly: Mirajane and Elfman actually buried Edolas Lisanna, who Anima swapped with Earthland Lisanna as they were both dying in unrelated incidents and who is actually the one Mirajane knelt with as she was dying.

All of the Strauss siblings are magnets for attention. Elfman and Lisanna are both a little dense about it and both unsure how to proceed when it's brought to their attention, but they have about the same amount of admirers as Mirajane. Strauss genes, man, they're just really pretty.

There are some secret Beast Souls Elfman's got access to but that's not for here or now. 🤍 I don't give away my fic plots that easily.

The whole family loves animals and I know that's already apparent but listen, there's never gonna be anyone you can trust more with animal care than Elfman and Lisanna. It's at least canon those two outright helped incubate/raise Happy, okay? They regularly volunteer at animal shelters, too, and anytime there's a mission involving animals, they take it.

Elfman is especially good friends with Natsu, Gajeel, and Laxus, while Lisanna is especially close to Wendy. Elfman, because he knows what it's like to share a part of yourself with a powerful entity that affects your body, and Lisanna because she's very serene and really gets Wendy's pacifistic nature, they're both very in touch with the natural world around them.

Lisanna has a natural aversion to Beast Soul and Demon Soul takeovers, she's simply too gentle for them. However, she is remarkably gifted with Take Over in general. She's able to rapidly chain different Take Over forms one after another when this would exhaust a lesser wizard, and can even mix-and-match certain elements of them.

Anyone wanting to date literally any Strauss sibling has to pass at least two checks, one from each remaining sibling. Elfman thinks he's the one who takes it most seriously and is most aggressive about it. He is not.

I'm glad you like my posts! 💚

[kairiscorner]

Chapter 1: a glint of forever in his eyes.

Summary: Miguel finds an alternate version of his life, and it's perfect. He's got a loving family, a decent job, a life without peril... and a loving daughter who adores him. He wants that, he wants that life so badly. But you know what he's doing, you know what it means for him and you. You know everything you two have fought tooth and nail for to keep in order might spring out of balance and ruin everything for that universe. What're you going to do? Can you say no to him, just this once?

Let's start at the very beginning. I've known Miguel O'Hara ever since we were young, I probably met him around late elementary to early middle school. He was the quiet kind of kid, a nerd with his own interests and his own world.

I knew he was the kind of guy to get what he wanted and never back down no matter what the cost, he was always like that–he was always a risk taker.

Ironically enough, even if he didn't seem like much, he was the one who taught me how to live. He was a rebellious youth, even if he had so much potential. Actually, it was because he had a lot of potential that he was rebellious, he refused to be kept in one place, he refused to be told what to do.

He taught me how to sneak out, how to answer back, how to make excuses just to get away from the current society expects me to follow. He taught me how to live.

And I just never expected him to one day change all of a sudden.

“Hey,” he calls out to me as I'm working on something. Without looking up from the screen, I respond. “Yeah?”

“Have you ever, like, had thoughts of maybe... settling down?” he asks, and it's weirdly enough, in a pondering way. It's a soft, gentle way that he asks it; it doesn't have any malice or mocking in it. I half expected him to mock me, seeing as how I've never had a partner or any experience in dating. But this time, he sounds serious. He sounds... very thoughtful.

I finally turned around with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

He turns around to look at me, and I see a small glint in his hazelnut brown eyes. His lips curve into a small smile. “Ah, sorry, I just... just thinking. Not that I wanna settle down with you, I mean. We're both busy people anyway, it's just a thought.” he cleared up as he looked back at his monitors.

I slowly nod. “O...kay. Weirdo.” I mutter that last part under my breath. I try to get back to working, but my thoughts are halted by what he said. I deeply inhale, and I exhale just as deeply. I shut my eyes, why were his words affecting me? Which part of it affected me?

I sigh. I look over at him by the monitors, his smile hasn't waned away at all. He's transfixed upon something in the monitors. I get up from my seat and look over at what he's seeing.

And there, I see it–the very thing he wants.

A little girl that has his hair color, his eyes, is at soccer practice with her team. She's an excellent player, she's well-coordinated, and... she talks a lot about her dad.

She loves her dad, it's very clear. The way she speaks about him, her eyes light up, her whole demeanor is different. It's like her father is the light in her life, and I can only assume her father feels the same way.

“Adorable, isn't she?” he asks me as he turns around to look at me. I step back a little, not expecting him to notice me. “Yeah.” I say, simply as I clear my throat and look away from him. He chuckles.

“'Gabriella O'Hara', she's family.” he explained as he watched her go running on the field. I look closer at the screen, and I see in the background a man coming into the scene, with the same broad build as Miguel, the same dark hair, the same tanned skin; it is Miguel.

“Is that... you?” I ask, a little bewildered by the sudden arrival of this man. He chuckles again. “No, it's not me. Well, it's me just not the me you're talking to right now.” he clears up. “Dios mio, she's so adorable. Look how happy she is! Oh, she scored the goal for their team!” he narrated aloud as he kept his eyes on her.

He smiled when she smiled, he laughed when she laughed, and when she told her father after he scooped her up in his arms that she did her best for him... he spoke to her from behind the screen.

“Mi niña, estoy muy orgullosa de ti.” he muttered from behind the screen as her father took her up on his shoulders and she told her father over and over that she loved him so much.

It tugged at my heartstrings, to hear those words from her and seeing how caring her dad was, it makes me think just how much love a parent's heart carries for their child, and how I've never experienced it myself–how I'm scared to experience it if I were placed in their shoes.

But what really made me feel strong about this was Miguel himself, sitting there as he watches on the monitors how this girl loved her father so much, how a variant of him is proud to call her his daughter, how he feels proud of her and loves her just as much, maybe even more, than his variant does–it made me feel a little warm, but also, a whole lot worried.

Variants cannot be in alternate universes, not without last repercussions. It worried me because I know Miguel would fight for what he wants, and if what he wants is a daughter, why looo for another when a loving one who looks up to him is right there? Right there within reach? Right there for him to carry in his arms and smother with love and affection?

It worried me because Miguel might ruin lives in the process, might destroy relationships he never meant to destroy.

I cleared my throat.

“Gabriella's very good at playing soccer, and a sweetheart, too.” I say as I look over at Miguel, still smiling. “Of course she is. She has a loving family, a dad who's always there for her, what more could she need? Maybe a dad who's secretly Spider Man might make her life more interesting, no?” he says, slightly joking about that last part.

I chuckle in response. “...you really love her, don't you?”

“I... I really do.” he says as he follows her and her father with his eyes, watching them as they go home. “You know, I'm really envious of this guy. He's good looking and built, of course he is, he's me–but he doesn't have the responsibilities I have.”

He doesn't have to save the multiverse or have to worry about slight changes in universes you don't even belong to that'll ruin your sleep. He has a daughter who loves him dearly, and...” he trails off as he looks down at his hands. “And probably a wife who cares about him, back at home.” he finishes, looking back up at the screen.

“What I wouldn't give to have that, all of that.” he says aloud as he turns off the monitor, after glancing at Gabriella's smiling face as she embraces her father when they get home by the driveway.

“Well, I know you're getting older, but, that doesn't mean it won't ever happen, you know?” I say as I look at him. “Maybe one day, you'll meet a woman who makes you feel happy, special, whole; one day you'll ask her out, then maybe get married to her, and have exactly what your variant has.” I say, a little dissatisfied with my delivery, but I just hope he understood.

“Ahora, no me des esperanza.” he said as he stood up and looked around the room for a little bit. “I have my life cut out for me already, I have to be Spider Man. I can't be a father. It's set in stone for me already, I can't back out from this life.” he uttered with a sigh.

“Unless...” he began again as he looked through the monitors the moment he returned, sifting through lines and lines of chronological events from that alternate universe.

“Unless what...?” I ask, with growing concern filling me inside. He smiles and turns to look at me. “Unless I can be her father, right there, if the me there... gets killed.” he said, still smiling, which concerned me a whole lot. Not only is Miguel smiling about another man's death, he's thinking of stealing someone else's kid!

“Miguel,” I begin as I place a hand on his shoulder, looking at him a little forlorn. He looks back at me, still joyous. “You know you can't do that.” I remind him, feeling my heart break a little as I give it to him straight.

“Well, why not? It'll just... I'll work it out. I'll say I'll be on a business trip for a few weeks, that way they won't worry if I won't be home. And, come on, are you really going to let a poor child live without a father?”

“And are you really okay with lying to a poor child that you are her father?”

A deadly silence fills the room, and Miguel's smile fades with every passing second. I sigh in order to fill the empty void of silence in the room. “Listen, it's not wrong for wanting to have a family.” I try to comfort him as he shakes his head slowly.

“No, no, don't try to comfort me. I know. I know what I'm doing is beyond stupid, beyond irresponsible, but... I just want to see her. Knowing she's out there, knowing she's mi...” he sighs before he can even finish that sentence. He knows she's not his kid, he knows she's not supposed to have a dad a day after his death; but he loves her. He loves her dearly, and he'd do anything, anything at all, to be able to see her.

“Just... just once would be okay though, right?” he asks as he gently takes my hands and looks up at me, hoping my answer will be in my eyes, hoping that answer is a solid 'yes'.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I don't want to disappoint him, I don't want to hurt him, I want him to be happy–but no matter what answer I give him anyway, he'll do it. So, I sigh, and I look up at him. “Just once.” is all I say, and he's smiling, thanking me, and planning already everything that's to happen in the coming days.

And I swear, I could see in his eyes no malice, no possessiveness, no obsession–just pure adoration for his daughter, or the daughter he's going to make his. I saw that small glint of forever in his eyes, a forever as her father, a forever feeling happy, special, and best of all, whole.

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 3: Kane & Valen Part 3

Chapter 3 of the third crossover with @whumpsday!

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

SERIES IS 18+ ONLY.

Content warnings: Torture, burns, GORE GORE GORE, craniotomy (with a circular saw), mention of rape, emeto

I prommy this timeline is going to have a RIDICULOUSLY fluffy and happy ending, but things are going to get much worse before they get better.

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

The next morning, Nick comes down around midday. There's some occasional noise upstairs that would seem to indicate other people are in the building. Nick asks some others to come downstairs, but he gets two or three rejections before he gives up and comes down alone.

Kane manages to catch his keeper's name when one of his peers rejects him. This information is useless to him, but now he knows.

"Well, #1," he says, the cold, emotionless mask back up. "Looks like you're off the hook today, since nobody is willing to come supervise me." He sits in the chair at his desk, loading his notebooks onto it, as though it weren't the scene of unspeakable violation a few hours ago. He clicks a pen. "Now, #2, I'm going to ask you a few questions. Please describe to me what sunlight feels like."

Kane immediately panics at the question. Not the sun, anything but the sun. He almost starts begging, before he catches himself.

Nick said he would repeat the thing he hates the most over and over and over. He can't let him know this is it. He has to somehow stay calm.

"The sun..." he starts with dread, "It feels like being eaten alive by fire. It's bad. And, and it takes a very long time to heal from." He hopes this tidbit makes Nick reconsider. He seemed concerned about healing speed.

Nick nods. "Thank you, this is very useful. I can't get direct quotes from #1. We've known for a long time that vampires hate the sun, but it's been very difficult to figure out a way to use that effectively, since vampires generally just avoid coming out during the day."

Kane listens incredulously as Nick talks. You raped me last night and now you're talking to me like everything's normal, he wants to say, but of course he doesn't.

Nick goes over to a shelf and takes out a device that has a light bulb in it. "This emits UV rays which mimic sunlight, but I'm still trying to quantify how it compares. Hold your hand out for me."

It mimics sunlight. Kane shudders at the thought. He holds out his hand obediently, but it's shaking badly. "P-please, mercy, sir," he begs. "Please." 

Nick's hand freezes with the device over Kane's skin for a moment. "Perhaps you misunderstand," says Nick dispassionately. "This is not for a punishment, or for my own pleasure. This is to gather information. There is no mercy, or lack of mercy here, #2. There is no cutting it short or extending it out. There's only experiment parameters, which need to be followed." He turns it on.

What the fuck is wrong with this man? Kane thinks, and then his hand lights up in burning pain. He screams, yanking his hand back protectively as it audibly sizzles, the familiar smell of his own burnt flesh emanating.

It's not as bad as regular sunlight, nowhere close, but it's still horrible. It's worse than silver, and silver is already bad. "It's- it's gathered, sir," he tries to insist.

"It's...gathered?"

"The information?" Kane suggests hopefully, showing Nick his burnt hand.

Nick sits down at his desk and clicks his pen. "Describe it to me."

Was that actually it? His old hunters would have dragged this out forever, if they had that device at their disposal. Maybe it won't be so bad during the day. That would be a first.

"It's... worse than silver, but not as bad as the real sun, sir," he answers. Kane feels his gut twist at the thought that he's aiding the tormenting and killing of his own kind, but he doesn't have much of a choice. "But... any vampire who gets hit with this will be stopped in their tracks, regardless of the fact that it's not like the real sun. It's bad enough for that."

"Excellent, that's very useful, thank you." Nick walks over and unhooks Kane from the ground, and has him sit down in the chair. He then secures Kane's arms with leather belts to the arm rests. "That's good qualitative data, but I'll need something quantitative now." He sets a timer on the desk.

Kane whimpers, but does not resist, determined to be good. He hopes Nick sets it to count down instead of up, so he'll know how much time he has left. He hopes Nick avoids his face. "Yes, sir."

He glances briefly at Valen, wondering if he can judge how bad this is compared to the normal here by the other vampire’s expression. 

Valen watches resignedly, cringing a little bit.

Nick sets the timer for five minutes, and turns the device on, setting it above the hand that was already burned. 

Kane wails, staring desperately at the timer. Five minutes. That's not so bad, all things considered. It could be so much worse. But it burns, burns, burns, the skin of his hand crisping up agonizingly underneath the horrible light. His screams break off into pained sobs as the minutes drag on, his eyes not leaving the ticking numbers.

Nick turns the device off when the timer reaches zero. He then writes "5 minutes" on a piece of paper and slides it under Kane's hand, then stops to snap a photograph.

He then sets the timer for five minutes again.

Kane's breathing quickens as the horrific realization dawns on him. "How, how m-many, sir?" he asks, voice small.

Nick looks at him coldly. "How long would you estimate it usually takes to reach saturation for a burn?”

"I don't... know what that means. Wh-what's saturation?" he asks, panicked. Please let it be something that happens fast.

"The point at which the maximum damage has occurred, and further burns make no significant change to the condition."

"I've n-never, never timed it, but... not too long, sir? Maybe twenty, th-thirty minutes? But that's with... the real sun." Kane is sure it'll be less than an hour before he reaches saturation, but it's going to be an extremely painful less than an hour.

"It will probably be between 20 and 30 repetitions of 5 minute intervals, then. We needn't go on longer once there's no visible change between rounds." He turns the machine on again.

That's at least two hours, Kane realizes with dread. He tries to remind himself it's better than all day and it's just my hand, not everything, but it's awful.

He lets out a blood-curdling scream when the machine turns back on. It's worse this time.

His screams die out by the 6th repetition, his voice hoarse from overuse.

After the 10th repetition, Kane asks, his voice raspy, "C-can I please have a break, sir? Five m-minute break? Please?" Some hunters have granted him this, though not many.

Nick clicks his tongue. "Unfortunately, no. That would introduce confounding factors into the data if the time between isn't uniform."

There's footsteps on the stairs. "Nick, for god's sake," says a man's voice.

Kane snaps his mouth shut, remembering his orders. He silently wills the hunter not to make Nick angry. It's always worse when hunters are in a bad mood.

"What is it, Bailey?" Nick says.

"Is this really how you're going to do it?" says the newcomer. "Just having him scream all day?"

"I can gag him if the noise is disruptive."

"That's not--that's not what I meant. Isn't there....I dunno, some other way to do it?"

"...Is there some other way to measure burns on a vampire, other than burning a vampire?"

"Man, I don't know. Like, with the other one it wasn't so obvious you were hurting it so badly."

As soon as this man- Bailey- makes it clear he dislikes hurting badly, Kane looks up at him with big, pleading eyes. Help. Please help me. Please.

"I can make it less obvious, if that would make you feel better,” Nick suggests.

"That's--that's not what I meant."

"If you have a problem with my work, take it up with the director. He's given me permission to do this."

The second man mutters in disgust and goes back up the stairs and out of the basement, shutting the door.

Of course he won’t help. He's a hunter. Kane supposes he's gotten his break, and mentally prepares for the second half of his torture.

It goes much the same as the first half. Once they start hitting 20, he looks at Nick hopefully each time, desperate for it to be the last one.

After repetition #22, Nick thoughtfully flips through his notebook. "All right, that seems to be all the use we'll get out of this setup. Now we have to use natural sunlight on the other hand to compare the progression."

Kane sobs loudly. "P-please no, please please please, n-not the sun! Please, it hurts, anything but that, please!"

Nick gives him a withering glare. "You already know we can't stop." He undoes the restraints keeping him to the chair and grabs the handle on his collar, dragging him upstairs.

Two hunters upstairs on the couch watch Nick drag Kane past them to the patio on the back. Sunlight has started creeping onto the cement patio. Nick sets him on the ground. "You may choose whether you want to be restrained, held down, or do it freely yourself. Just know that if we break the same pattern from earlier, we'll have to start over, probably on your forearms, for the sake of consistency." 

Kane wails in despair the entire time he's dragged to the patio, crying profusely. He leans as far away from the sun as he can, sobbing.

"R-restrained, sir," he chokes out. He won't be able to do it by himself, and the thought of Nick holding him down after last night makes him want to throw up.

Nick retrieves a stake from inside the house--metal coated with silver, not wooden--and sets up a small blind to create shade just big enough for Kane's hands to be in. He pounds the stake into the ground through the chain holding Kane's wrists together, and then removes the blind, allowing the sunlight to hit his skin after starting the timer. He keeps the blind low enough that Kane's already damaged hand is still in the shade, though.

They proceed as they'd just done, in five minute intervals. It's much quicker this time, only taking 5 or 6 repetitions. Kane howls like a banshee, and this time he writhes, desperately and unsuccessfully trying to get away.

There is more begging this time. "Make it s-stop, please make it stop, please, I can't do this! It hurts, it hurts, please p-please please no more!" he cries, to no avail.

Nick snaps a final photo. "All right, I think that's all I need for now."

The glass patio door opens behind them. "Nick, what the fuck are you doing out here?"

"Experiments."

"Like, do you think it's a good idea to have that thing screaming its head off outside? Use your brain, man. I'm sure whatever you're doing you don't need to put it in the actual sun."

"I do," Nick snaps. "Take it up with the director if you don't like it." He grabs Kane's collar and drags him back inside, back into the basements, shutting the door and muttering. He deposits Kane on the floor and goes to his desk, writing things down, doing calculations on a calculator.

Please not the actual sun again. Please take it up with the director, if that means no more sun. Again, Kane looks up at the hunter with pleading eyes, and again, nothing happens.

He curls in on himself, holding his ruined hands to his chest protectively as he sniffles and cries. He doesn't like the implications of this experiment. He's going to try to make it worse, make the device closer to the actual sun. Why? He can't possibly see how that would aid in hunting. It's bad enough to work already.

"Is- is it over for today, sir?" he asks hopefully. He just wants to rest.

Nick ignores his question for a few moments, holding up his notebook to appraise the calculations. Then he says, "Now this is interesting. You burn 3% slower than #1 does." 

Kane wishes he burned faster, so he could spend less time in the sun.

Nick closes the notebook. "That's all the sun for today. But lucky for you, I need to check the reproducibility of one of the most important experiments I've conducted on #1, and that ends with you being unconscious." 

Kane is incredibly relieved to hear that, nodding vigorously. "Unconscious, please," he whimpers.

Nick has Kane sit in another chair--this one is covered with an alarming amount of dried blood, especially near the headrest, but unfortunately it's not human blood. Nick straps him in at the arms and legs, then kicks a lever to recline it, having Kane lay faceup staring at the ceiling.

He then roots around in his shelves of tools, and comes out with a circular saw, which has been jury-rigged to remove the safety guard.

From the blood on the headrest and Nick's comment about being unconscious, Kane is pretty sure Nick is going to root around in his brain. He's glad for this- if it's bad enough, he won't wake for days or maybe even a week, and his hands will hurt less by then.

"H-how long did it take with... #1, sir?" he asks anxiously. Please, please be fast. 

"Till about 40% removal. It will be done by weight, not time." He revs the circular saw. "Feel free to scream as loudly as you want. It will help me more accurately judge when you fall unconscious. Now lie as still as you can."

He pulls on some gloves, a heavy, bloodstained apron, and a face shield. He lays out his tools on a small table beside him, a shallow metal pan sitting among the scalpels and things that looked suspiciously like ice cream scoops. "This is ostensibly one of the more viscerally unpleasant things to watch, but the brain itself has no pain receptors, and should be fairly painless once the cranium is opened. I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about it." 

He starts the saw and lowers it into Kane's skull.

Kane has been vivisected before several times, but his old hunters never opened his head. Maybe because of what Nick said about it being unpleasant to look at.

He screams as the saw tears into his head, but somehow, somehow, he holds still. He's overcome with the feeling that moving with the saw in him would only make everything hurt that much worse. He sobs, vision blurry with tears, holding onto the fact that he'll be unconscious soon.

Valen, still shoved in the corner, watches long enough to see the exposed brain matter start to appear through the red mist of blood being kicked up by the saw, and then turns away, unable to look any longer.

The saw stops, and there's a sickening suction sound as Kane's scalp detaches from his cracked open cranium. 

Nick sits on a stool, taking scalpels and scoops from the table, out of Kane's field of vision. At periodic intervals, naked brain matter, red with blood, appears and plops into the shallow metal pan.

Kane's voice gives out even quicker this time, after his earlier ordeal. He shudders violently as Nick scoops his brain out piece by piece. He throws up, but his stomach is empty, so it's just spit and dry heaving. He loses his vision rather quickly.

He falls unconscious in around the same amount of time as Valen did.

***

K&J x MMSS crossover taglist:

@barebarb

@cc1010foxy

@emcscared-whumps

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@pigeonwhumps

@secretwhumplair

@some-thrilling-heroics

@t0rture-me

@thecyrulik

@thejinglingcourtjester

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

@whump-my-heart-away

@whumpycries

@wolfeyedwitch

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question