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anonameisadditions · 3 months

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The Curtains Are (Depressed) Blue

One of the chief complaints lobbied by people against media analysis and middle school level English classes is one most infamous anecdote. A teacher, typically imagined as a bright, high minded woman in her early 30’s, has a classroom read a chapter on some depressed character. She proposes the question to her captive audience- “Now, can anyone tell me why the curtains are described as blue in this chapter?” The trap is set. The children, slumped over their desks, and holding their head in their hands, reeling from the sugar crash of their early morning breakfast cereal, sit in silence. Eventually, one brave soul- a young man, slightly overweight, in that husky, soon-to-develop-a-footballer physique, raises a single hand. The teacher calls on him, and in his absolute naivete, proposes the following - “Maybe the curtains are blue because the author thought they were blue.”

He is immediately hoist by his blue petard. The teacher strikes, smiling like a ravenous tiger. “No, (you absolute fucking cretin), the curtains (The sheets, you idiot, think of the sheets) are blue because they symbolize the character’s depression!”

The class remains completely silent. His hand goes down- but he knows for certain that he is not wrong- the curtains ARE blue because the author thought they were blue. He is furious, and decides from that point onwards, the only good books are ones about real, unsymbolic things, like orcs and dragons. He is not wrong for this.

THE WAY WE TEACH MEDIA ANAYLSIS IS FUCKED.

Now that i’ve gotten your attention, let me explain a little about myself. I’m ANoN. I’ve been writing since I could tie my shoes, which was about 12, so please, give me some grace, I’m a slow learner. But what I don’t know about knots, I know plenty about writing, and I’ve dealt with the same, basic argument from the badly informed, and often embarrassed masses about media analysis again and again. I don’t blame them- the experience I described is pretty typical in the American education system, and it doesn’t get much better from there. Studies have shown that 1 in 5 American adults read below a 6th grade level, and all that describes is “may only understand very basic vocabulary or be functionally illiterate.“. But can you blame them? Books, something propped up as a source of knowledge and entertainment when inside the school environment became a showy, high-nosed, elitist field of abstract meaning and annoying hypotheses, generated by academic types stroking their hairless chins, striking their eyes up to the ceiling in mock contemplative thought, and what they bring from their introspection is something inarguable- an opinion. Yet, they ferret out these “opinions” as irrefutable truths, and, worst of all, the teacher- the beacon of learning- seems pleased as punch about this bullshit.

If you weren’t “One of those kids”, you were lucky enough to have a parent or guardian or were just born different enough to appreciate language for language’s sake- to have been read to, to be told what makes a book “great”, in a capacity that wasn’t graded or evaluated. And from those early encounters in English, you, too, would have become jaded to the idea of such soft analysis. “The Curtains are Blue”, bah!

I hear you, out there. Maybe you got far enough to read this part, and I would certainly want to shake your hand for doing so. To maintain even a passing interest in a subject beyond the meat-grinder of passion known as public education is commendable, and to do so on a site like TUMBLR is twice so.

So I come to you, and I’m here to say- The curtains ARE blue because they symbolize depression. But it’s very possible the author didn’t think of that.

DEATH OF THE AUTEUR

Art is complicated.

Yeah, big shocker.

WRITING, is complicated. And most complicated of all, is the writing process.

In “Sequential Art” by Will Eisner, the authoritative book on comic production this side of the 21st century, Eisner observes the “Speech Bubble” is a desperation device- a drawn tool to help make the invisible visible- the art of human speech. It is referred to as such due to it running against the limitations of said medium of comix- the fact that it requires the delivery of sound, despite lacking the lips or speakers so to speak. But I would largely motion that the written word is a desperation device in itself- for text, in its blind destruction, removes-

Body language

Incantation

Personal context

Intrapersonal context

History

Ambiguity

When I type the sentence “John was a good boy,” You will sound it out in your head in the diction and expectations you bring to the table. You will imagine countless, endless possibilities that may run this feeble, poorly maintained and patched ship of mine aground. For instance- What if I told you John was a dog? OR what if I told you I was lying about that? Or what if I told you THAT was a lie- that John is, indeed, a dog? But, I mean like he’s “dog-like”, not literally a dog, and one of the “Good Boys”. With this complication, we must consider the possibility of the hack. Perhaps, on some level, every piece of art a person creates could just be the random, accidental stumbled lurch of a babe just learning to walk. Maybe we just hit the jackpot- And all that separates you, the bozo, to a man like Steven King or James Joyce is luck.

This could probably offend a few of you- enterprising creatives and purveyors of Great Men alike- to imply that the greats of any medium are only great because of a roll of the dice- but what you miss in my assessment is the reverence in my voice for luck. In a commonly posted adage, two classes of pottery students were presented with different axioms- One was to spend all semester trying to make “The best piece of pottery they could make”, and the other “to make as many pieces of pottery as possible.” Surprise, Surprise- Group B not only improved faster than A, but created a much, much more interesting variety of pottery than A- including some pieces that were thought to be of higher quality than A’s semester project.

Now is that “Luck”, or is that implying something else about the creative spirit- that it is, often, a chance encounter with greatness?

The Car Crash Metaphor

Let me share with you one of my favorite pieces of writing. This is an excerpt of “Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes”, by Harlan Elison, the infamous sci-fi writer of “I Have No Mouth, and Must Scream” and “"Repent, Harlequin!" Said the Ticktockman”. In this short story, Maggie is a prostitute who, in a fit of rage at being requested to do something over the line for her job to a mobster, leaves her seedy motel room to blow off steam playing some slots, before she has a life-ending heart attack.

“She faced the machine squarely, and put in the first silver dollar. She pulled the handle that swine nuncio. Another dollar, pulled the handle how long does this go on? The reels cycled and spun and whirled and whipped in a blurringspinning metalhumming overandoverandover as Maggie blue eyed Maggie hated and hated and thought of hate and all the days and nights of swine behind her and ahead of her and if only she had all the money in this room in this casino in this hotel in this town right now this vry instant just an instant this instant it would be enough to whirring and humming and spinning and overandovrandoverandover and she would be free free free and all the world would never touch her body again the swine would never touch ehr white flesh again and then suddenly as dollarafterdollarafterdollar went aroundaroundaround hummmmmming in reels of cherries and bells and bars and plums and oranges there was suddenly painpainpain a SHARP pain!pain!pain! In her chest, her heart, her center, a needle, a lancet, a burning, a pillar of flame that was the purest pure purer PAIN!”

What follows is a sequence of what I would call “borderline experimental” formatting to try to capture the dying moments of a woman so consumed by greed and fury that she collapsed on the floor of the casino. And all throughout this, A single phrase ran through my head as I read it again, for this essay.

Desperation Device.

Now, it’s up to you to decide whether Harlan’s interpretation of a heart attack was fully captured by the text or not, but the reality is… no one really knows, do they? (Except for those who have actually had a heart attack.) Harlan’s efforts to capture this moment in this woman’s life might be just a fantasy- an effort of outright projection, fictional.

But it’s certainly effective, wouldn’t you say? It forces a reaction, one way or another, and creates interest. But how? How did Harlen know the exact way to beat his language into shape as to sell the concept of a heart attack in a textural form?

The answer is, he didn’t. Writing, and art in general, is a car crash wreck.

Have you ever been to a junkyard? I have. You can see a wide variety of vehicles in various states of ruin- Some have had their entire rear ends split apart, Some have turned into tight, compact squares of metal mincemeat, and others are bent in a wide, rocking C shape. Each one of them is the story of a wreck- when a vehicle slammed into SOMETHING, whether it be a car, a tree, a building, a person, a lightpole- anything.

There’s a big, complex industry around Car insurance and crashes- People with cheap suits and baggy eyes sip coffee, staring at spreadsheets and car model informations for companies to hopefully avoid paying people what they pay for- to try to find fault in the hands of the driver, to figure out what’s liable, and what’s not. It’s an antagonistic job- one where you conflict directly with your customers, who will present one story of their wreck- “It just stopped in front of me!” “The wheel spun out of control!” “The breaks didn’t work like they usually do!” and the insurance investigator will do the math, check the possibilities, and see what they can figure out about what happened. It’s kind of like being a detective, but instead of actually helping people, you look to screw them over, instead. But it’s not a mindless career, shockingly- Because you can never really know what happened, or what caused a crash. You can find the details that generally point towards one conclusion or another- whether it be a breaking failure, or user error, or genuine bad luck- But you’re always putting things together with limited information, and generally, biased, panicking sources.

You can never really “Know” what caused a car crash- only see the effects of one, and surmise what went wrong. You can get pretty damn accurate- otherwise, the industry wouldn’t spend that much money on investigating claims- but the truth will always rest between heaven and earth.

Creative analysis employs a similar methodology. When a person proposes an opinion on why a piece of art fails or succeeds, it is ultimately an opinion- but much in the way that the beginnings of a scientific theory is, to, an opinion. When you propose that those blue curtains are symbolic of the depression a character feels, it’s something that can be thought of as a justification of the effectiveness of that particular detail. If, in that chunk of analysis, one may find something that counters that opinion- Perhaps another more positive character in the story is also depicted with “blue” clothing- it forces the conversation forward. These smaller observations can stack together to form a larger observation, which you then can see if it applies to other stories, and as you notice the trend more and more in media, you’ll be able to- potentially!- Learn something about not only the writing process, but people in general.

This is the meat that things like “The Hero's Journey” or “Genre” are made up of. This is also why highly experimental art tends to lean to a more scholarly audience- As experimental works are ground zeroes for recognizing new through-lines in media in general. Something like “House Of Leaves”, in it’s strange, dissociated form-meets-function approach to writing and typography TELLS us something about the way audiences appreciate books, and memory- a trend you can see in other deconstructive memoristic stories, like Memento.

And it’s certainly possible that some of these things ARE under authorial intent! But it stops mattering, rather quickly, when you’re willing to stop putting creatives on pedestals. There really is nothing that different than our sixth grader and Stephan King- Only a measure of self application in the field of their choice, and a continued interest in the subject material.

I believe all people, regardless of background, circumstance, or intelligence, can stumble upon greatness writing, but they may be incapable of recognizing it until it passes under the crucible of public opinion. But to understand why something worked- well, that’s why we need to know why it matters that those damn curtains are blue.

#writing advice #media analysis #The curtains are blue #writing help #writing tips #analysis #creative writing #essay #writing essay #ANoNAdditions #death of the author #auteur theory

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cheri-translates · 4 years

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[CN] S2 Gavin - The Guardian Project (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a company project in Season 2 which has not been released in English servers!🍒

Timeline: Stray Date -> The Guardian Project -> The STF Filming Project

Case Details:

I clinched the opportunity to film an Evolver crime documentary with the STF. It didn’t cross my mind that I’d be working with the Special Operations Team.

Although the case seemed simple, it suddenly became dangerous halfway. A broken lead... a bomb that could detonate at any moment...

This time, can Gavin and I have a pleasant collaboration?

[ CHAPTER ONE ]

MC: Finally done...

Morning light streams in from outside the window. I straighten up from the laptop, rub my eyes, and once again check through the filming proposal I spent the entire night on.

The cover of the proposal reads: STF Collaboration Project.

Half a month earlier, a government-related department announced that the STF would be working with the media to create a special documentary regarding Evolver criminals.

Recently, the small increase in the frequency of Evolver criminals has led to diverse and confused comments from the public.

This documentary is meant to showcase STF’s resolute attack on Evolver criminals to them.

And my company managed to win the bid for this filming opportunity. As it has a lot of significance, I decided to handle it personally.

Just when I’m doing a final thorough check, the phone on my desk vibrates.

Anna: MC, the STF just got in contact and adjusted the timing. They want the filming crew to be at STF today.

MC: Huh? But we agreed that it’d be ten days later. How could they suddenly change the timing?

Anna: They said they happen to have a case which doesn’t have a high difficulty yet is very novel, so it’s suitable for our shoot.

MC: All right, I’ll make the arrangements.

Anna: Okay, I’ve already sent you the meeting address.

After hanging up, I immediately make several phone calls, arranging for equipment and a photographer.

Time is of the essence. I bring the proposal along with me, and rush to the STF.

At the entrance of STF, an officer politely stops me.

STF officer: What are you here for?

MC: Hello, we’re the producing team from [MC’s Company Name]. We’re here to collaborate with STF to film a documentary on Evol criminals. This is the filming permit.

I hand him the permit while explaining. After checking it meticulously, he lets us enter.

According to my memory after being here a few times, I successfully find the meeting room.

The door is ajar. Plain white light spills from the gap, along with sounds of conversations. I can faintly hear phrases such as “scene of the crime”, “investigation direction”.

I gently knock at the door before me.

??: Enter.

As the door opens, the gigantic electronic screens in the meeting room enter my vision.

Just as I'm about to introduce myself, the smile on my lips freeze in place.

In the huge meeting room, the white decor casts everything in a cold light. It also makes the sharp eyes of the man, who is donned in uniform at the other end of the long table, appear even more icy.

And at this moment, that pair of amber eyes shift away from the materials in his hand, and land on me.

MC: Gavin...?

[ CHAPTER TWO ]

Under the gaze of a room full of STF members, I take a few steps back calmly.

MC: Sorry... I might have walked into the wrong room.

Gavin’s voice suddenly resounds.

Gavin: No need to look around. You didn’t walk into the wrong room.

MC: Didn’t they say the difficulty level of this collaborative case wasn’t high? Why is the Special Operations Team being deployed?

I mutter softly, suppressing the questions in my heart. I usher the photographer into the meeting room, and we sit at the seats furthest away from Gavin.

A young special officer sitting at the side greets me amicably.

Young special officer: You should be the person-in-charge for this program, right?

I nod.

MC: Hello everyone. I’m the person-in-charge for this program, MC.

Gavin tosses me a stack of documents from the table, speaking in a low voice.

Gavin: First, familiarise yourself with the materials of this case.

I take the materials and flip through them quickly. At the same time, Gavin continues with his analysis of the case before my interruption.

Gavin: On the day of the incident, there was a heavy rain which could have buried many traces of the crime. As such, it’s necessary to conduct a key survey of the Evol fluctuations left on the scene.

The young special officer sitting next to me leans over enthusiastically, explaining the case to me softly.

Young special officer: This case is pretty novel, and is very suitable for your shoot.

MC: Mm, I see from the materials that a nationally protected thousand-year-old marriage tree at the Beishan Scenic Area was chopped down in the middle of the night.

Young special officer: Typically, we'd leave cases of such level to smaller teams to handle.

He stealthily tilts his chin towards Gavin.

Young special officer: But yesterday, this case was suddenly brought to the Special Operations Team by Captain Gavin, who said he wanted to investigate this first.

The special officer is about to say something else, but a cold voice interrupts him.

Gavin: MC.

I lift my head to see Gavin’s hands pressing down on the materials on the table. He stares at me.

Gavin: That’s the entire course of action. Do you have any questions?

I instantly cast a glance at the map behind Gavin.

The Beishan Scenic Area has been circled. Next to it has the word “Invisibility” written in red, with a question mark after it.

MC: I have no questions.

Gavin: Before I allow the media to participate in the investigative operations, you have to guarantee not to disclose any information, or disrupt the overall plan.

Gavin straightens up and meets my eyes.

Gavin: So, repeat the course of action I just mentioned.

He looks at me with an expressionless gaze, as though he doesn’t believe I’d be remember his words seriously.

I return his gaze without a sign of weakness, and repeat his plan perfectly, word for word.

At this moment, a slight measure of ease appears on his originally expressionless face.

Gavin: You have a good memory.

The meeting room doors are pushed open, and a special officer walks in.

Special officer: A new lead has been discovered.

[ CHAPTER THREE ]

For a long time, the Beishan Scenic Area has been popular with tourists due to the thousand-year-old marriage tree on the top of the mountain.

I climb to the top of the mountain with a video camera, and see the thousand-year-old tree, which has been chopped down.

It now rests to the side in a strange manner. The marriage slips hanging on the tree are also twisted together in disarray.

Young officer: That’s where the new lead is.

I look in the direction he’s pointing at, and discover a footprint near the tree.

MC: This footprint looks like it belongs to a man. But limited information can be extracted from a mere footprint.

Young officer: Don’t worry. Captain Gavin has said that even the most trivial information may hide concrete clues. Our task is to find the criminal.

He seems to have a lot of trust in Gavin. I can’t help but ask:

MC: Aren’t you scared of him?

In the distance, Gavin investigates the scene. Under the sun, his eyes are cold and fierce, reminiscent of an unsheathed sharp sword, glowing with a cold light and preventing anyone from coming near.

Young officer: I’m scared, but it was Captain Gavin who saved me from the brink of death during a mission. Even though I’m still scared of him, I know he’s a captain worthy of following.

While he speaks, Gavin seems to have finished his investigation. He looks over in our direction and strides over.

Gavin: Go look for the staff and ask for a list of visitors.

Gavin throws a task to the young officer, then turns towards me.

Gavin: What were the two of you talking about just now?

MC: Nothing much. We were talking about how it’s pretty difficult to find someone based on a footprint.

Gavin smiles slightly. The shadow of the tree falls on his face, dissipating the chilling aura he exudes.

Gavin: Looks like they haven’t taught you some things.

[Note: He’s likely referring to Black Swan]

He suddenly closes the distance between us. His eyes flit past my face, resting on something behind me.

His breath is at my ear, and only the ends of his brown hair can be seen, moving slightly in the sun.

MC: Gavin, you...

Gavin: Don’t move.

After a few seconds, Gavin restores our original distance, his hand holding on to a marriage slip.

Gavin: What can you tell from this?

I try to stabilise my breathing. Looking at the marriage slip in his hands, I see a pair of names belonging to a couple.

MC: There are many names on the marriage tree. Couples will tie their marriage slips on the tree to pray for blessings from the gods. But what does this have to do with the case?

Gavin: There are typically two causes for crimes committed on impulse - self-benefit and passion. As a national scenic spot, the Beishan Scenic Area would not give rise to conflicts of interest. The criminal we are looking for likely committed the crime due to his emotions.

MC: I understand now. He must have tied a marriage slip onto the tree before, but since his wish didn’t come true, he decided to chop down this “sacred tree”.

Gavin: That is only one possible inference. As of now, we still lack key evidence.

The young officer walks over and hands a very thick list of names to Gavin.

Young officer: Captain Gavin, this is the name list of everyone who purchased a marriage slip from this site over the last six months.

MC: The marriage slip belonging to the suspect has definitely been removed from the tree. If we can find any mismatch between the list and the marriage slips on the tree, the chances of that person being the suspect is very high.

Gavin: Good reaction speed.

He lifts his eyes towards me with approval, his gaze as cool as the wind in late autumn.

Young officer: Captain Gavin, we’ve made a record of the names found on the marriage slips.

Two name lists are handed to Gavin. After a brief look at them, he hands them to me.

Gavin: Take a look.

MC: Only three names are mismatched... and only one is a male. It should be him then.

Gavin: Go and ask the staff if they have any impressions of him. Then look for the date he purchased the marriage slip from the name list, and check the surveillance tape for that day.

The young officer brings the list of names over to the staff and queries them. Gavin toys with the marriage slip in his hand, and suddenly asks:

Gavin: Why did you take up this program?

MC: This sort of government-supported large-scale projects can bring in a lot of resources. When there’s something to gain, everyone will rush to obtain it.

Gavin: You seemed very surprised to see me.

MC: The Special Operations Team has always accepted the most difficult tasks, so I didn’t understand why you’d take up such a small case.

Gavin doesn’t respond to my words.

The young officer walks over and talks to Gavin. He nods, then looks at me.

Gavin: We’ve got the appearance of the suspect and have confirmed his address. We’ll carry out the arrest tomorrow, at 9am.

[ CHAPTER FOUR ]

Following the address Gavin provided, I reach the location of the suspect’s home. The door is already surrounded by special police officers, and Gavin stands in the middle, pointing a gun at the door.

At the entrance of the stairs, I carefully set up the camera, prepared to take photos of the heroic postures of the special police officers when they arrest the criminal from all directions.

Gavin suddenly tosses a glance at me.

Gavin: Later, remain where you are. Don’t move around.

MC: Actually, I can follow the team from behind and go in too.

Gavin: Anything can happen during an arrest. You’re not a law enforcement officer, so don’t hold us back.

He no longer looks at me. His side profile is cold, and his tone clearly leaves no room for negotiation.

Gavin: Our target criminal could possess an Evol related to invisibility. Be careful during the arrest, and block off all escape routes immediately.

He lowers his voice, staring at the closed door.

After a while--

Gavin: Now!

The well-trained special officers quickly kick the door open. Gavin takes the lead and rushes in with a pistol.

I stand outside the door, waiting for Gavin’s instructions.

At this moment, the door opposite suddenly opens. A woman walks out, slightly anxious.

Woman: Are you... looking for the person who lives there?

She looks at the door opposite and stops talking.

MC: Your neighbour could be the suspect we’re trying to arrest.

The woman hesitates, then retrieves a letter from her house and hands it to me.

Woman: We don’t usually communicate, and I haven’t seen him much. But three days ago, he suddenly gave me a letter and said if anyone comes looking for him, I should pass this letter to them.

The handheld transceiver crackles.

[Note: It’s basically a walkie-talkie but it doesn’t sound cool enough for Captain Gavin so...]

Gavin: You can come in now.

Holding onto the letter, I turn around and enter the house. Gavin has his arms crossed over his chest, standing in front of a map of Loveland City, pursing his lips.

A young officer pulls me to a corner and speaks softly:

Young officer: The suspect isn’t here, but we found tools to create explosives. The situation has become more serious. No one dares to disturb Captain Gavin when he’s thinking about cases, so just ask me if you have any questions.

Without saying anything, I walk towards Gavin.

Gavin frowns and turns his head, the light flashing in his eyes akin to a cold, sharp blade.

When he sees that it’s me, his frown relaxes, and he speaks lightly.

Gavin: What’s in your hand?

MC: It could be helpful with solving the case.

I hand the letter to him, and he tears it open without hesitation.

Gavin: “The marriage tree is just the beginning. The good show awaits.” There are tools for creating explosives in his room. Looks like he’s thinking of creating explosions in Loveland City... just as I thought.

Gavin quickly holds up his handheld transceiver.

Gavin: Team One, follow me to a school five kilometres away. Team Two, do a deployment and control of all the intersections within ten kilometres.

MC: Did you discover something?

While the team members prepare, Gavin explains.

Gavin: The suspect used a colourless pen to circle a location on this map. The markings of such colourless pens can be captured by a screen.

Looking through the screen of my camera, I can indeed see that a school has been circled.

MC: Is this the place where the bomb is hidden?

Gavin: Not necessarily. It could be a trap.

MC: Which is why you’ve split them into two teams - one to follow the lead and investigate the school, and the other team to continue looking for the suspect in the vicinity. Earlier, you mentioned that it was “just as you thought”. Did you already guess the suspect would create explosives?

I vaguely guess that this is the real reason why Gavin took up the case.

Gavin: This case is related to an earlier case, where a large number of gunpowder-creating materials disappeared. In the end, they confessed that the transaction took place at the Beishan Scenic Area.

MC: The Beishan Scenic Area... the very first crime committed by the suspect was also in the Beishan Scenic Area. You took up this case because of the lead?

Gavin looks at me, as though he’s about to say something. In the end, he simply keeps the map, turns around, and leaves.

[ CHAPTER FIVE ]

We reach the high school marked out in the map.

It is still school time. The campus is noisy, and students frolic in the playground.

A few students who are messing around see Gavin. His handsome face doesn’t hide his terrifying aura, and the students quickly run away in fear.

MC: Looks like your aura as the school tyrant is the same as back then.

Gavin casts me a sweeping glance.

Gavin: And you’re still the same as last time, unafraid of me.

Soon after, the students on campus are evacuated. Donning bomb suits, the special police officers shuttle across the floors searching for the bomb.

Gavin doesn’t wear a bomb suit. He leans against a ginkgo tree, thinking about something.

I set up the camera.

On the screen, ginkgo leaves fall one after another. One leaf falls onto the man’s silver badge. The ginkgo leaf casts a warm yellow reflection on the cold badge.

Special officer: Captain Gavin, we have searched the entire campus but we didn’t discover anything.

The map was really just a trap.

Expressionless, Gavin responds with an “mm”. He takes out his handheld transceiver.

Gavin: Team Two, your report.

A response quickly comes through the transceiver.

Special officer: The deployment and control has been done. As of now, we haven’t found anything suspicious.

With a slight furrowing of his brows, Gavin takes another look at the map.

I lean over, and ask in the voice of an interviewer:

MC: The only lead has been broken. What does Captain Gavin intend to do next?

Gavin: Even if a lead is broken, it’s still a type of clue.

He hands me a marker pen, signalling that I should draw two circles - one where the school is, and one where the suspect’s home is.

Gavin: As of now, these are the places associated with the suspect. There must be a connection between them.

MC: Apart from their close proximity, I can’t find anything else.

Gavin, who has been casually leaning against the tree all this while, suddenly straightens up.

Gavin: Exactly - the close proximity.

MC: What you’re saying is that the proximity is the suspect’s main deciding factor on where to plant the bomb?

Gavin: First-time offenders will typically choose a location within their comfort zone to commit the crime. Within the range of the suspect’s comfort zone, there are only two places with high human traffic volume. Apart from the school, it’s the Diagonal Garden.

Gavin holds up the handheld transceiver.

Gavin: Team Two, head to the Diagonal Garden.

Person on the other end: Received.

Five minutes later, the handheld transceiver crackles.

Person on the other end: Captain Gavin, we have reached the Diagonal Garden, but there was a small explosion before we arrived.

Gavin: Casualties?

Person on the other end: The explosives weren’t powerful and no one was hurt. But we found a warning letter on the scene.

[ CHAPTER SIX ]

In the STF meeting room, Gavin is doing an analysis of the case.

Gavin: At present, we have grasped information pertaining to the criminal. As he is suspected to have the ability of invisibility, we may not be able to find his hiding spot even if we use Evol.

Once he begins the analysis, Gavin’s abilities are displayed clearly.

He is like a sharp and bright sword, cutting through the darkness and drawing out light reminiscent of shooting stars...

I study the warning letter, which has one sentence written on it: “Tomorrow at 7pm, please look forward to an even grander gift.”

MC: At 7pm tomorrow, the criminal is going to detonate the bomb. But the leads we have right now aren’t enough to find him.

Gavin: If we can’t find him, we’ll just force him to show himself.

The map behind him still has Beishan Scenic Area, the criminal’s home, and the Diagonal Garden circled.

I suddenly realise an issue everyone has neglected.

MC: The criminal’s purpose is to detonate a bomb and cause chaos. But his act of chopping down the tree at the start stems from his emotions. Why did his motives change?

Gavin’s slender fingers pause on the map. He nods lightly.

Gavin: No. His motive has never changed.

He turns to a young officer at the side.

Gavin: Check up on the woman who went to the Beishan Scenic Area with him.

MC: Do you think the girl knows where the suspect is?

Gavin shakes his head.

Gavin: The suspect has always been acting based on his emotions. So the location he selected for the “gift” is definitely related to that girl.

Gavin explains patiently. For some reason, the special officers at the side look stunned, as though they’ve seen a ghost.

The young officer turns on his laptop. I look at the screen in shock, watching as a stream of data appears - his Evol is the ability to control the flow of information.

Looks like everyone in the Special Operations Team, from its captain to its members, are not just normal people.

Very quickly, they find the girl. The girl, who has been invited to STF, looks very nervous. When faced with the special officer’s questions, she can’t speak at all.

MC: Let me do the asking. The way you’re doing it won’t get you anywhere.

Gavin looks at me. Unexpectedly, he nods.

MC: Don’t be afraid. I’d just like to ask you to recall your boyfriend.

Girl: We broke up a month ago. My family doesn’t like Evolvers. You should know that a lot of normal people can’t really accept Evolvers...

MC: What is his Evol? Do you know what it is?

Girl: Invisibility.

My eyes meet Gavin’s.

MC: Do you remember any places that were very important to the both of you?

Girl: Apart from the marriage tree, there’s also the amusement park Ferris wheel in the centre of the city. He confessed his feelings for me there.

Gavin presses the handheld transceiver.

Gavin: The target location is the amusement park at the centre of the city. The entire team will leave in ten minutes.

[ CHAPTER SEVEN ]

It is close to dusk, and the tender night breeze brings with it the sweet scent of cotton candy. In the amusement park, happy smiles are found on adults and children.

They have no idea that a bomb is hidden in a certain corner of the amusement park.

Under Gavin’s instructions, plainclothes police wordlessly meld into the crowd.

Gavin: The criminal could be hiding in the crowd. We can’t startle him. Instead, he has to show himself.

The red light on the handheld transceiver blinks a few times. This amusement park is now in STF’s control.

MC: How do you intend to lure him out?

Gavin: The police dogs are searching for the location of the bomb. Once they’re done, I will have the amusement park start the fire alarm to evacuate the crowd.

Gavin’s tone is calm. In an instant, I already know what he’s going to do.

MC: Are you planning to defuse the bomb on your own and lure the suspect to show himself? What if he detonates the bomb while you’re defusing it?

Gavin: As long as he appears nearby, I will know where he is. He wouldn’t have time to detonate the bomb.

As the sky continuously grows darker, there isn’t any information on the bomb’s location from the transceiver.

I look at the time. There’s only an hour left till the time stated in the warning letter.

MC: I have a plan. It could lure the suspect out without requiring more manpower. Would you like to try?

Gavin turns his head to look at me steadily.

Gavin: What do you need me to do?

MC: You’re agreeing just like that?

Gavin: The police dogs are still confirming the location of the bomb. I promise you, it’s just an additional measure.

He walks to the ticket counter of the Ferris wheel. When he returns, there are two tickets for the Ferris wheel in his hand.

An unnatural expression flashes across his face, but it quickly vanishes. What’s left in his eyes is a peaceful gaze.

Gavin: Let’s go.

MC: All right.

The Ferris wheel ascends slowly. The glow of sunset displays beautiful colours in the sky. They are reflected in the eyes of the person seated opposite me, looking even more amazing than the scenery.

The wind gently blows Gavin’s brown hair, and his eyes fall on my face.

MC: You used to say that you really liked looking down from this height, because you can see the whole of Loveland City.

Gavin: Actually, those were just excuses to stay with you a little longer. Whether it was tying my shoes for a few more minutes, or pretending that I forgot to bring an umbrella on rainy days.

Gavin: They all were.

I’m left stunned. In the narrow space, the night is hidden in his eyes, and seems to be hidden in his words as well.

At this moment, the Ferris wheel reaches the peak, then starts making its descent.

I blink, trying my best to maintain an indifferent facade.

MC: I thought about it for a long time. We should break up. You’re an Evolver, and that makes me feel very unsafe. Perhaps Evolvers and normal humans shouldn’t be together.

The Ferris wheel finishes its round and the door slowly opens.

Even after saying my lines, Gavin still looks at me, his sharp eyebrows furrowed slightly.

MC: You...

Suddenly, a formless hand grabs my wrist. At the same time, a furious voice sounds.

Invisible man: Why don’t you understand! What wrong did Evolvers do? Why do you have to treat them differently?

But Gavin is even faster. A raging wind courses from all directions, swirling a person’s silhouette in front of me.

The invisible man struggles in pain, and Gavin pulls me behind him.

Gavin: Are you okay?

I nod my head. I watch the special police officers work together to take down the invisible man. But they are unable to find a detonator on him.

The invisible man is suppressed by Gavin, and he gives up struggling. I have a clear view of his face - he’s a young and delicate man.

Invisible man: The STF isn’t that great either! You’re helping a normal person attack an Evolver? Who are you to sanction me?

He struggles, glaring angrily at Gavin.

Under his glare, Gavin coldly handcuffs the man’s wrists.

After he gets up, Gavin straightens his back. He lower his eyes towards the invisible man lying on the floor, and his tone is icy.

Gavin: Listen carefully. Capturing you is done in the name of the law, not STF. Having Evol is not a reason to commit crimes. Your crimes will always belong to your own name.

Gavin straightens up, and the special officers at the side hastily bring the invisible man to the police car.

I walk towards Gavin.

MC: Gavin.

Gavin turns around, the coldness in his eyes not yet faded.

Gavin: What’s wrong?

MC: I think I know what this documentary should convey to the audience. Even with sword-like authority, the STF will always have justice as its supreme guide.

A sudden night breeze courses past, lingering around my wrist. Gavin looks at me, his eyes deep.

But the corners of his lips suddenly curl upwards.

Gavin: Given your position, you shouldn’t be talking to me about justice.

I smile as well, extending a hand towards him.

MC: Gavin, it has been a pleasant collaboration.

Gavin arches his eyebrows. He removes the leather glove on his right hand, and holds onto my hand.

His palm is dry and warm. As compared to last time, there are more thin calluses on it.

Gavin: It has been a pleasant collaboration.

- End -

The program has received stable ratings, and has remained moderately popular during its broadcast period. The company has used this success to adjust its future direction, seeking a more integrated and comprehensive layout. The STF clicked ‘like’ on the documentary, arousing heated discussions among netizens.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin #I know the previous Gavin-related posts evoked mixed emotions but this one is good I promise :>

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tundrainafrica · 4 years

Text

Masterlist

This will serve as a personal tracker of all of the fics I have ever written, all of the books and series I have consumed etc. I wrote this out to help me organize my thoughts since I have time now to reflect on this closet hobby of mine. I also put it up just in case anyone has ever read my stuff and is curious about how these works are doing in my head space.

Some were written back when I was way younger so apologies for the quality.

ALEX RIDER

Come Home (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Memories don't keep people grounded in their present. They're the reason people think of what ifs and would haves, regrets and daydreams. Alex sees three dimensions of his reality and makes a decision. Set after Never Say Die.

Status: Done (I guess?), not posted on tumblr or AO3 yet

Killing (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Spoilers for Never Say Die. Killing is like learning to ride a bike as Alex is going to figure out very soon. For Spyfest 2017.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not posted on tumblr or AO3 yet

Transparency (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Although the bank robbery made national news, the young boy who saved the lives of all the people in the bank didn't. First hand witness accounts said the boy was a hero, the media said there was no young hero in the bank and one journalist tries to get to the bottom of it all.

Status:WIP (could probably still finish it, it’s almost done anyway), not posted on tumblr or AO3 yet)

Type II Error (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Written for Spyfest Week 3. Set before Ark Angel. The updates on payroll accounts and budgets lined up too well with mysterious deaths and undisclosed missions. An auditor working for MI6 decides for herself whether or not the orders of her bosses Blunt and Jones were worth prying into.

Status: Done (Oneshot), will post on tumblr yet

Unforeseen Circumstances (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

It's April, the time of year when most students start salvaging their grades. Missions had taken their toll on Alex's grades and he needs to start salvaging soon or risk repeating the year. Nature wasn't on his side though and it turned out that his devil's luck had just run out.

Status: WIP (8/15), On hold, not posted on tumblr yet

ATTACK ON TITAN

Levi and Hange’s Relationship in Erwin’s POV (Status: Completed, not posted yet)

A Tale of Two Slaves (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

"Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn't exist. Everything is a choice. At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him."

Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn't.

Status: WIP (6/?)

A Free Spot (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Slight AU! Levi sacrifices himself in Chapter 132 instead of Hange and Hange deals with the consequences years later. Written for Levihan Angstober Week 4. Prompt: Free Spot

Status: Done (Oneshot), not posted on FFN yet

Division of Labor (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

"The past years, we have noticed a lot of our fresh high school graduates knew nothing about responsibilities the that awaited them outside high school and even college. Many students do not master budgeting, taxes, household planning, loans and we hope to raise a generation who can navigate the adult world without the consequences of bad decisions they are bound to make going in blindly..."

Paradis High school starts a program incorporating adulting into their curriculum and Hange and Levi are paired together.

Status: WIP (1/?)

En Prise (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Hange already had the innate analysis skills and the quick wittedness to excel in the classroom. Chess should have come easy for her. As she processed her fifth loss to the man in front of her, she started to understand that there was more to the game than meets the eye.

College AU! Levi is a little too good at chess and Hange gets roped into studying the game further.

Status: WIP (1/18), will try to create a backlog before I post more.

Heroes or Victims (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Post Chapter 115, Hange reflects on emotions, relationships, war philosophies, and a future while taking care of a severely injured Levi.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not posted on FFN yet

Household Planning (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

"It was Levi's household. The plates were arranged and sorted by color and use, the way Levi liked it. The cabinets and the storage were arranged in a way which would be efficient for cooking, or at least the way Levi would have wanted to cook."

Levi gets sick and Hange is left to navigate household chores.

Status: Done (2/2)

Passion Project (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Levi tries to ignore Hange but it never seems to last. A ficlet detailing the development of Levi and Hange's relationship before canon.

Status: WIP (1/3) Timeline written, Chapter 2 rough draft complete, not posted on FFN yet

Rough Day (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

It should have been apparent to Hange by the weight gain and the sudden lack of red days. Somehow, Levi noticed it first.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not posted on FFN yet, will probably write more fluff similar to this

Sugar Rush

(AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Marley brings the celebration of Halloween to Paradis. Hange and Levi go trick or treating with their child for the first time and start to realize how much the world has changed since the war.

A Halloween piece for the Levihan spookfest one year late.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not posted on FFN yet, will probably write more fluff similar to this

Would You Cry? (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Hange asks an innocent question and Levi finds himself reflecting on his emotions and his relationship with Hange. Written for LeviHan Week, Angstober 2020. Prompt: Silence/Screams

Status: Done (Oneshot)

Vulnerabilities (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Slight AU! Although Levi is humanity's strongest soldier in the battlefield, his rough childhood had left him weaker and more vulnerable to illness. Levi had always taken measures to prevent sickness nit anyone who has ever been close to him caught wind on it anyway. A series of oneshots throughout the story focusing on Levi's chronic weakness and others taking care of him.

Status: Sporadic updates depending on mood, not yet posted on ff and tumblr

Big Hero Six

Deal with the Devil (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

When mourning becomes too much for him, Hiro finds himself resorting to prayers and deals to bring back the brother he lost. The devil may have had pity on him but he never promised to let Hiro go unscathed.

Status: WIP, on hold, probably could get back to it just need to rewatch the movie, not yet completely posted on AO3 and tumblr

Fatal Flaw (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Grieving may be a long and painful process but in time most people do recover. For Hiro Hamada though something probably went wrong along the way because from what Aunt Cass could see, he was moving on yet at the same time, he wasn't.

Status: WIP, abandoned, completely forgot what I was planning, not yet posted on tumblr

Coco

Dares, Pranks and Curses (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Written for the Coco Valentines Fanwork Exchange. The night of Dia de Los Muertos, Miguel ends up staying out late to play a little game with his friends in the cemetery. Hector, Imelda and Miguel reunite through a game of Ouija.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not yet posted on ff and tumblr

Somewhere between Life and Death (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Dia de los Muertos isn't the only day the dead can visit the living. Miguel is reunited with Hector, Imelda and his other relatives from the other side but in one of the worst ways possible and he finds himself caught in a struggle between life and death.

Status: WIP 9/20, on hold, timeline is complete just need to get it written, need to fix tumblr tags

Crossovers

Quest for Origin: Ranger’s Apprentice x Percy Jackson (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

A young boy gets washed up on the shore of Camp Half Blood with no memories whatsoever of his life before. How did he end up there? Is it all just a coincidence? Or is it a message from the Gods? What's with his uncanny skill with the bow?

Status: On Hold (25/35), timeline complete, will probably continue with PJO TV show comes out, not yet posted on ff and tumblr

Kingdom Hearts

Coded Connection (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Post KH3. If Kairi keeps Sora's memory alive, he'll eventually call out to her right? Then it will be her turn to find him, hold him and never let go.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not yet posted on tumblr and ff

Kuroko no Basuke

Yellow, Red, Green, Blue and Purple (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Collab with friend back in high school. All Kise wanted to do was complete one more level of Flow Free before practice starts. When you have teammates as lazy, eccentric, hyperactive, sociopathic or invisible as the Generation of Miracles though, sometimes the things that sound the simplest, can be the hardest to do. Crackfic

Status: Done (Oneshot), not yet posted on tumblr

Ranger’s Apprentice

Being a Ranger’s Wife (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

As Will leaves on a suicide mission, Alyss ponders on her choice to have married him.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not yet posted on tumblr or AO3

Danger Zone (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Rangers are human. Humans make mistakes. The difference though between an ordinary human and a ranger is the consequences they'll eventually face for past mistakes. Will should have known that for rangers, this included being on the run from an angry group of pirates with his silver oakleaf on the line.

Status: Probably Abandoned, first fanfic I have ever written lmao, completely forgot where I was going with this, not yet posted on tumblr or ffn.

Farmer’s Apprentice (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Will lied to Mr. Chubb about stealing from the kitchen years ago. How did that small decision change the course of the young boy's life? AU Crack fic.

Status: Done (Oneshot), not yet posted on tumblr or AO3

Masters, Apprentices and Sons (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Gilan accepts Morgarath's challenge in the Plains of Uthal and Halt is left to care for his apprentice in the aftermath of the battle. Halt wonders why it took him this long to realize that there was no fine line between an apprentice and a son.

Status: WIP. I have written out all the way until chapter 5 but I completely lost the files. I don’t know if my current frustration will allow me to continue this.

The Fall of a Hero (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Will had fallen from his place as one of the top rangers in the corps and one of the top figures in Araluen and it's up to his friends to help pull him back up. Recovery Fic.

Status: WIP, timeline not written, could probably still continue this, just need to catch up to the series

Prince of Tennis

A Break from Ingenuity (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

Timing is everything. Fuji gets his timing wrong, makes one misstep then finds himself facing a career ending injury. Maybe, that's when everyone will realize that he's human too.

Status: WIP. Will probs continue if new POT content comes out.

Yuri on Ice

Surprises (AO3/Tumblr/FFN)

With all the stress piling up for the Japanese National Championship and more importantly, the World Championship, one can expect an athlete to get injured. To have the coach be the one struck by a career ending injury during practice is another story. That's exactly how Victor surprised the crowd though, maybe for the last time.

Status: WIP (3/?), not yet posted on tumblr

#Yuri on ice #Prince of Tennis #ranger's apprentice #kuroko no basket #kingdom hearts #percy jackson #coco #big hero six #attack on titan #Alex Rider #fanfic #masterlist

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youarejesting · 5 years

Text

Femme: 18

[MASTERLIST]

Summary: The year is now 3019. Women were going extinct, cryogenics was the only hope for society. Now Femme Industries is the provider of Females, they use computer analysis and algorithms to match a femme to her male applicants. It is common for Femme’s to match with multiple applicants. When you match with seven handsome young men, it is a challenge. But you love a challenge.

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, Bigbang x GDragon

Starring: Bigbang, GOT7, TXT, BlackPink, NCT127 and Twice are going to be introduced and explored fully in later chapters. Rating: Fluff so far

Warnings: None

Length: 1.3k words

Yoongi legs almost gave out from exhaustion as he closed the distance between, the two of you. Grabbing your arm, you tensed expecting him to be angry. He pulled you harshly and you were thrown against his chest, arms around you in a squeezing hug. You could feel his heart beat so fast it seemed to shutter as bad as his legs. Holding the thin young man upright you turned to your new friend, Jiyong who was grinning bouncing his baby quietly watching the scene unfold.

"Yoongi?" You tried to call to him and he told you to shut up and hugged you tighter his face buried in your neck breathing heavily against it. He slowly relaxed and pulled out his phone, messaging the boys and grabbing your face. Looking you over and seeing the shirt under your overalls had been ripped from neck to sleeve leaving it hang exposing your bra. His fingers touched the fabric and his frown was nothing to the stare he turned on you. It was a guilty and yet angry, so very angry.

"Did something... happen?" Yoongi breathed the words like dry ice, you shook you head and explained how Jiyong saved you by beating them up and now they needed your help. He nodded and pulled out his phone and called a Taxi. You went over to Jiyong when you noticed he was slumped forward his daughter held to his chest. You placed two fingers to his pulse point and sighed in relief. Holding Misuk, and grabbing all the bags, you got situated into a taxi Yoongi ordered a specific taxi that had a built in baby seat.

Arriving at the apartments, the four of you navigated your way into the elevator, Yoongi was holding up Jiyong and he looked at you with guilty eyes. He apologized for not paying attention to you. He apologized for not remembering what you had said to him that morning quickly enough to prevent you from getting hurt. He started to apologize a third time for a reason unknown to you as you cut him off with a kiss your one free hand holding his face. His lips were warm this was a simple one lip kiss. You wanted him to bring you closer, but Misuk was in your arm and prevented you from pressing yourself closer to him.

"I don't know what I would do, if you got hurt because I am a terrible partner, I shouldn't be allowed a Femme. The boys would kill me if-" You cut him off again pulling him into another kiss this one wasn't like the first this one you went for a little more. It was a slow and passionate closed mouth kiss, his free hand wrapped around your body and his hand sat comfortably on your lower back. Swiping your tongue across his bottom lip, his chest rumbled with a low growl and he pulled away.

You blushed, the two of you had been so caught up. You hadn't notice an old man who had gotten on at the service floor, standing in the corner. As you awkwardly waited out the last few floors, your heart seemed to settle from the fiery moment you too had shared. You stepped out and turned apologizing to the man, who laughed and waved it off before the doors closed.

Opening the door, you entered to see all the guys sitting around the living room. They all turned to you and Seokjin, Hoseok and Jimin started to cry. You were surrounded, by them all and Yoongi brought in Jiyong laying him delicately on the couch. "Jagiya, I should have gone with you, you should have asked me" Hoseok sniffed

"Are you hurt?" Namjoon said his hands on your face gently looking you over. You told him you were okay, that your friend Jiyong protected you. Taehyung took the baby and was playing and making faces he began setting up a cute little scene and pulled out his camera and took a few pictures. He remembered his first job was taking baby pictures and he missed it.

Heading to the bathroom you pulled out the first aid kit and went over to the unconscious man. Taking his thin hands in yours one at a time, you cleaned the blood off his knuckles, disinfected the small abrasions and bandaged them. You looked at his lip and with care to not reopen his lip wound you gently wiped the area clean and used a water proof liquid Band-Aid.

You were worried he might be hurt somewhere else and gently lifted up his shirt and checked him for bruises. You smiled at a tattoo on his rib cage that said Mind Control, and the cesarean scar from where he had surgery to deliver his beautiful baby girl. He began sitting up and you straightened up his shirt, "Sorry I was just hoping you didn't have any bad bruises or possible stab wounds"

"Where is Misuk?" Jiyong grabbed his head and you handed him a glass of water and something to ease the pain. You gestured over to Taehyung who was smiling and taking photos and he smiled. Watching his daughter giggling at Hoseok and Seokjin's faces behind the camera.

"Sorry about taking pictures without your permission, I was just taking them for you, I won’t keep them, it’s a spare chip so you can take it, if you would like" Taehyung messing up his hair nervously. He turned the camera to Jiyong and showed him the shots of his daughter smiling and laying beautifully. "I know it's not much but, you saved Y/n and I wanted to give you something back"

"Your Kim Taehyung right?" He grabbed Taehyung's chin turning his face this way and that, humming lifting his arms out to the side pulled his shirt to the side to catch the silhouette of his body underneath. Looking at his legs and feet and moved around to his back to admire him from all angles. "Would you be interested in modelling?"

Taehyung was saved from answering when Yoongi called out from across the room. "I fixed the phone, it wasn't the worst I have seen, I mean I live with Namjoon so, I'm used to it." Namjoon's ears went pink and he smiled sheepishly showing off his dimple. Jiyong called someone and told them what had happened and the current address.

"Y/n, what is this here?" Namjoon looked at the bag with your uniforms in it and you snatched it and blushed. This seemed to get the boys attention. They all tried to see into the bag, and you hugged it too your chest, running away from them as the playfully tried to tickle it out of your grasp.

"It's my new work uniform, I got to make it myself" You wheezed and this started more of them advancing at you but instead of trying to pry the bag from your arms they were gently pushing you towards your room. They were chanting for you to show them the uniform and you rolled your eyes and walked to your room. You pulled on the dress and quickly tied your hair out of the way. Taking a deep breath you stepped out into the hall.

"Come on out Jagiya, give us a fashion show" Hoseok teased and you laughed hearing all the boys cheering and hyping you up and you were in stitches by the time you stepped out and they looked at the dress and went quiet. Standing from his seat Jiyong scrutinized your outfit, with pursed lips, deep in thought, he circled you slowly and he hummed.

"It's simple, but flattering the length is practical for work while still stylish, the contrast between the pink and the white the position and size of the company logo. It’s all well put together. The bigger pleats is a bold look almost borderline of formal attire the A-Line drop waist gives the illusion of a thin figure and longer legs, without shrinking the torso. A jewel tone cashmere would really make this look superb"

Jiyong smiled approvingly and Namjoon smiled "You wouldn't happened to be Dragon Design's Kwon Jiyong would you?"

Femme Media 18

Next Chapter

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@obeythehemmings

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sebthesnipe · 5 years

Text

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain an Analysis? Chapter 2! Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

@whatwashernameagain

As always, Spoilers under cut.

To jump right in we start off with Roman’s father. Eva writes: “Astonishingly, his father hadn’t scoffed at him as he’d passionately pleaded his case. The paper in his hands had been filled with speculations about the black clad silhouette barely caught on camera. The elderly republicans rightfully arguing against him had been banished to page eight, pushed aside by the intriguing puzzle the anonymous terrorist presented” (Whatwashernameagain).

We get a bit of more insight into Roman’s father, though he’s not nearly as flushed out as Logan or Roman, with good reason. He is, after all, a secondary character. First off, as with many works, the things that aren’t said are just as important as what is. Eva mentions that the front page focus’ on the Utilitarianist, with the Republicans are pushed to page eight. We know that Roman’s father is apart of the Republican party and as such this means that he is pushed aside by the public in favor of the Utilitarianist. And the fact that she mentions the paper at all, being held in Roman’s father’s hands shows that he is invested in the issue. A man who works in politics obviously would be quite upset when such an upstart outshines him in the media especially if he is in the middle of a campaign. So, the mention of the paper in general brings attention to the man’s ambitious nature and self-centered nature.

As for Roman, well, we gain a bit of hope for the man when the work mentions that his father didn’t turn up his nose at the other man’s passionate pleading. We know that at this point Roman’s only aspiration in life is to gain his father’s approval. Despite the fact that we consider this venture misguided, the reader is invested in Roman’s well being and happiness after Chapter 1 so, we can’t help but hope that he has achieved his goal. Because we love him.

“He’d looked at Roman as if he’d never truly seen him before. As if he was something of value. For the first time in years, the young man had his father’s full attention. It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of – bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain). Poor, poor Roman… My baby… This once again, paints more of a picture of Roman, than his father. This is Roman’s POV after all. We see Roman’s father looking at him as if it were for the first time. Which implies that the attention Roman has always yearned for was never there in the first place. Sure, this had been implied before, but it hasn’t been truly pointed out until now. Roman’s father has done nothing but neglect and ignore him. Its no wonder Roman is starved for attention and understand; it’s no wonder that he is so naïve. His father has barely acknowledged his existence his entire life because Roman has never been particularly useful. I mentioned during my analysis of Chapter 1, Logan’s analogy of a ‘thorn in his shoe’ when referring to Roman but that analogy would not fit for Roman’s father… A thorn would give Roman far too much of an actual presence. No, Roman to his father is far less than a thorn. He is gravel on a warn path. He is meant to be stepped on in favor of pursuing his ambitions, only acknowledged when it makes enough noise to catch the attention of the person walking. His only purpose is to smooth out the road to success and nothing more.

This also brings attention to Logan, by simple contrast. Logan is supposed to be the cold unemotional villain of this story, but he doesn’t pull it off… at least not really. When Roman eventually grows close to the logical man, he no doubt sees a bit of his father in Logan. They are both distanced and calculating, they hold their heads up high and seem to criticize the world, they both are ambitious and driven. This comparison is no doubt attractive to Roman. He has wanted his father’s attention and affection his entire life, has seen him as a great man. When he meets Logan and truly begins to understand that Logan has a good heart deep down, I believe he begins to truly compare the two whether consciously or not. The difference is that Logan truly /is/ good at heart. We saw it at differing points throughout Chapter 1; his relief when Roman saves that girl, his compassion for Roman, himself, the fact that he had saved him from his captor before. Roman has seen first hand that Logan truly does care but never his father. All he has to ‘prove’ his father’s good heart is the man’s words which honestly doesn’t amount to much.

This also brings me back to something I mentioned in Chapter 1 as well: We, as humans, define things through comparison, without bad we’d never understand what good is and vice versa. We don’t know what Red is without comparing it to other colors. Roman’s father is bad, plain and simple, but he does not know this… not yet anyways. Its not until he sees the parallel between his father and Logan that he begins to see what could be… What a man with his father’s demeanor who actually cares can look like. Logan provides him with the hope he has always looked for in his father, the acknowledgment. Sure, Logan acts as if Roman is beneath him, which Roman is use to, but at the same time he provides Roman with the attention he has been starved for, attention from a man Roman respects. Despite Logan’s claims of seeing Roman as beneath him, Logan has treated him as an equal, going toe to toe with him, arguing with him… Roman has never had this; we see proof of that by his lack of self esteem and the way he talks about how he asks stupid questions or makes ignorant suggestions. No one has ever treated him as valued or taken him, as a person, into consideration… until Logan. Logan is his hope. Even the public, after he becomes The Dreamer, doesn’t see him as person but as celebrity. He is valued, yes, but not as himself, only as the persona he is taught to be; granted The Dreamer is apart of him, a big part, but he is more than just the name.

This also might be why Roman is so focused on the individual rather than saving the masses. Being accepted and appreciated by a large group of people feels less personal than the acceptance and love of an individual. If I had the choice to be loved by millions or loved by a few I would probably choose the few, though that is just me. My point is, by focusing on the individual Roman provides them something he never had; attention, affection, acceptance, value, and protection. The next line helps underline what I mean: “It was like being in the spotlight he’d secretly dreamed of—bright and warm and exhilarating” (Whatwashernameagain).

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

“He felt worth something for the first time as his father rose and walked around him, taking in his tall frame, filling in well from the workouts he tried to burn frustrated energy with, the sparkling green eyes, the luscious curls, the strong cheekbones and attractive features. There was no denying that Roman was handsome. A figure to be displayed, as long as he kept his mouth shut” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay… So… I’m really conflicted with the rest of this paragraph. Its just… I have so many feelings. First off, The imagery here is beautiful: Roman’s father is circling him, examining him as if he were some show dog in a competition and in a way he is. Roman’s father only has time for things he considers useful and up until now, Roman was not useful. However, as a show dog he could be quite handy, and his father is realizing this now. The cold calculating gaze Eva describes as he examines his son provides that image. It is skillfully done which is why I am conflicted. On one hand, the talent she shows her makes me love the passage; on the other it also makes me hate Roman’s father even more. Roman is not some show pony to be placed on display and tossed aside once he completed his performance… We are meant to dislike Roman’s father and she has accomplished that goal.

The story moves on describing Logan’s movements; stating that they grew more frequent, showing the media’s support for The Utilitarianist. We’re reminded at a certain point that we are still in Roman’s POV, however, with “The liberal media was lapping up [Logan’s] speeches, stilted and uncreative as they may be” (Whatwashernameagain). This provides the reader with the reminder that at this point Roman still wasn’t very fond of the man. It also brings back the fact that Roman is a bit over the top; calling Logan’s speeches ‘stilted and uncreative’. This line also provides a contrast between the villain and hero. In fact, this line is a direct parallel to Logan’s words about the Hero’s speeches: “The worst, however, were the speeches. He knew very well how much the media loved him with his uniform accentuating his broad shoulders and his lush, caramel hair, his blinding smile and perfect, tan skin. He was a nuisance, is what he was trying to say” (Whatwashernameagain).

The direct comparison is nice and so subtly done (though I’m not sure she meant to do it… idk) that it is beautifully executed. Once again, the reader’s attention is pulled to the stark contrast between the two men. Logan’s thoughts on The Dreamer’s speeches are obviously molded towards glamor and aesthetics… which is in part The Dreamer’s purpose. Its obvious that Logan views the man as air headed and just a pretty face which is what Roman’s father is, in fact, using him as. While Roman views Logan’s speeches as cold and uncreative, lacking the glamor Logan obviously has a distaste for.

This also provides a glimpse at the contrasting tones between the POVs which I have continuously praised Eva’s talents on. Logan’s thoughts are far more aggressive in tone, almost angry, which really suits the Utilitarianist’s persona. Someone who is willing to do just terrible things to right the world no doubt has quite a lot of anger residing in them. While, Roman’s view points are more gentle and needy. He needs affirmation, affection, acceptance. His criticism on the villain’s speeches are not very harsh in the least, which is not surprising coming from such a kind soul, but at the same time, they are as harsh as Roman gets really. In essences he is calling Logan’s speeches ‘tacky’ which is a huge insult to a man like Roman even if they seem gentle to the rest of use. The aggression from Logan and the gentle insults from Roman make the two such perfect opposites that it is both endearing and heartwarming. I love it.

We also see in the next few lines the implied influence Roman’s father has on him. Logan’s destructive agenda threatening to ‘destroy the moral of the good society and plunge them all into anarchy’ and the people of ‘the greatest country in the world’ showing their resolve. As children we are taught to believe what our parents want us to believe and that is obvious the case for Roman as well. He believes these things but for those of us living in the U.S. we recognize the same regurgitated words that the Republican party uses every year. Roman is no doubt so driven to please his father that he doesn’t stop to question if these are his beliefs or his father’s. At least… not yet…

Something that Roman says does catch my eye; he states that “A revolution was on its way” (Whatwashernameagain). Could this be another foreshadowing? I would say so. We know that something happened at the end of Chapter 1 to injure Roman in such a horrible way and the fact that he said that he didn’t know where else to go implies that he didn’t trust his father. A revolution is surely coming but not in the way the Roman thinks here. He has his own revolution he is going to have to deal with and the country isn’t going to be the one to help him.

The story moves on describing how Roman’s father had created a community of wealthy ‘caring’ American patriots ready to sacrifice everything for their ‘traditional values’. Once again, this feeds into Roman’s delusions about his father and his father’s values. It is obvious that his naivety is still securely in place if he sees these things as brave or heroic. He talks about experiments on soldiers that are meant to fight for America’s future… How could that be alright? But Roman is blinded by his love for his father and his need to be valued to he steps up to the plate and volunteers.

The next para however, pulls us back to the optimistic Roman we know and love and the presence of thought that will no doubt be the cause of his revolution and the very thing that is used against him to make him the tool his father needs:

“They needed someone his fellow citizens could look up to. Someone who would stand up to the terror caused in these insecure times. Someone kind and strong and good to give them hope for a better future. A future Roman believed in with all his heart. Humans were amazing creatures! The feats they had accomplished awed the young man and deep down, he believed they could solve their problems together. He trusted their combined creativity, love and unity to save this planet in the end” (Whatwashernameagain).

This is the image Roman wants to be, the image he believes he can be; the person he does not see himself as right now but yearns to make of himself even if it is just a persona. The fact is, however, he is already this person he just needs to be strong enough to embrace it, something he is currently incapable of due to his obsession with his father’s approval. I don’t know about the rest of you but I learned a while ago that every individual has the power to change the world and it is not as hard as they would originally think. It takes a kind word or action to inspire the next and the more you provide the world the more it gives. The catch is… More often than not… you’ll never see the plant that your seeds grow into. All you can do is plant the seeds and how that what ever comes out of them is good. A single word can save a person’s life. A single action can change a perspective. We as people just have to be strong enough to face our own demons and decide to say that word or do that thing. /That/ is not easy. /That/ might be more difficult than you can believe but once you’ve decided to try then every step afterwards becomes easier. The only thing that holds us back from being the change is ourselves. People can make a thousand excuses as to why they don’t do something and typically it is blaming someone or something else but, in the end, … The only power someone else has over you is the power you allow them to have. Someone hating me isn’t going to affect me unless I allow it to. My car breaking down isn’t going to ruin my day unless I allow it… I am not saying that this mentality is easy its not. It’s the hardest thing in the world to force yourself out of your own way… but after you do it once… twice… Three times… Eventually it becomes second nature and there is nothing stopping you from becoming the person you’ve always wanted; becoming the change; becoming the light.

**Note: This is not belittling Mental Illness or any other issues. This is a very simplistic version of this train of thought.

Roman in this case is the only thing standing between himself and the person he wants to be is himself and his need for acceptance from his father. It is sad to see but it is obvious that his heart is where it needs to be, he just has to get over the hurtle, the need for that acceptance. The need is reinforced as Roman talks about his father’s complaints about ‘hostile foreign countries’, ‘leftist propaganda and lying media dividing them’ … Once again, it is something a lot of Americans here from the political parties and honestly I’m impressed by how accurately Eva captures this when considering that she does not live in America.

In the same para we turn back to Roman’s views; Roman wanted to unite the world, to give them something to believe in, to fend off fear, to sew trust rather than fear. It provides a beautiful contrast between the man Roman is and his father, despite the belief’s Roman holds. We also see the uncharacteristic self confidence that he don’t see in regular Roman: “Peace was a possibility if they only believed. And he knew he could give them this belief” (Whatwashernameagain). Once again, we get brief snippets of The Dreamer that we know is inside Roman but haven’t seen much of in the Chapter as of yet.

Now we move onto the rough part of Roman’s past. The experiments begin. “For months, he subjected himself to test, procedures and surgery with no complaints. He saw no daylight for almost half a year as his father’s and his partner’s scientists, the people who worked for the Conglomerate, did their best to make him worth putting their faith in” (Whatwashernameagain). We see Roman’s astonishing resolve as he puts himself through these things ‘with no complains’. We see his lack of self esteem as he describes the scientists as ‘doing their best to make him /worth/ putting their faith in’. It really makes me want to scream at him but… Lets move on. This also gives another insight into just how horrible a father Roman’s dad really is. What kind of father would put his son through such torture? The kind that is just using him for his own gain and truly doesn’t give a damn. This cements that Roman is nothing but a tool to the man. Roman, however, in his sweet naivety views the process as ‘glorious’ despite his agony because it is something, he believes will gain him his father’s praise… his pride… his acceptance… Poor, poor naïve Roman.

My anger jumps once more with the next line: “As he saw him again, months after being sent to the research facility” (Whatwashernameagain). No! Fuck that! This bastard just sent his son off to be tortured and experimented on and didn’t even drop by to check on him. I get that you love him Roman but you’re an idiot and I love you for it. As soon as he was able to walk without appearing to be in pain they began to groom him for the media, implying once more that image is everything and to Roman’s father, it is.

Her is a young man that would do anything to gain his father’s approval, gain the world’s trust. He’s willing to be tortured in order to make the world a better place for everyone. This is a true hero. Even before The Dreamer is created Roman is an inspiration and no doubt when Logan finds out about all this Roman is going to have one hell of a time convincing him not to slaughter his father and everyone else involved. Even after all of this torture Roman is eager to do his father’s bidding and go after Logan, and the ‘psychological damage’ he as inflicting on Roman’s precious country. It is noble and says quite a lot about Roman’s perseverance and care. Honestly it reminds me a lot of Patton. Both of these sides are capable of so much love… Patton is just more open about it while Roman expresses it in a more prideful manner.

“Roman humbly accepted the choices of those smarter than him. He worked hard on his enunciation, his posture, his all-American accent, so they would deem him ready faster. The terrorist was growing more and more dangerous every day. His acts were growing more sophisticated, his public appearances increased from flashes of a tall, slender form caught by cameras, to manifestos read in a passionate, though clearly untrained voice over the internet. And now, he’d killed for the first time” (Whatwashernameagain).

Once again we are faced with Roman’s lack of self confidence though I’m just going to touch on that and move on because the comparison between our favorite hero and villain is back again. Roman is filling out his persona as best he can, working on his accent and posture, getting himself ready for the big leagues. Logan is doing the same, though in a different way. The villain doesn’t put much weight into public appearances, so these things do no matter to him. No, he’s moving up in the world by improving his strategies and going bigger and bigger. The pinnacle of his work being his first kill while Roman’s is being camera ready. It just goes to emphasis the difference between the two once more. Roman’s team are more focused on appearance rather than substance while Logan is getting his hands dirty…. Once again two sides of the same coin but their difference are no doubt mean to feed the revolution Roman is no doubt about to face.

*****

Alright children, I meant to write more but I am off to work. See you in part 3

Rivkin, Julie. Literary Theory: a Practical Introduction. Wiley-Blackwell, 2017.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-1?is_related_post=1.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 2.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/189407228487/the-dreamer-chapter-2?is_related_post=1.

#The dreamer #villain!logan #hero!roman #sanders sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #roman/logan #analysis #reaction #fanfiction #whatwashernameagain

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crispyimagines17 · 5 years

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“GOSSIP GIRL: Summertime Madness“ (Chapter 2).

Summary: Gossip Girl, your one and only social media source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s Elite. Things begin to stagger at the Upper East Side with the return of Alana Howarth and the unexpected arrival of Timothée Chalamet, a European handsome boy and rising ruler who has come for Alana; ignoring that NYC already has an heir and prince in its realm, Tom Holland. Secrets, romance, drama and lots of champagne are our daily bread. You know you love me, XOXO.

Originally based on: R’s & CrispyImagines writers’ idea.

Written by: @crispyimagines17

CAST:

Tom Holland

Timothée Chalamet

Noah Centineo as Noah Humphrey

Kiernan Shipka as Kiernan Archibald

Disclaimer: This fiction is set on our days (2019). Gossip Girl is now all over social media, Twitter and Instagram being the best sites to find hot tea. Also, for those who may ask what happens with Serena, Blair, Chuck, Dan, Nate and the original cast, they’re now grownups who set the reign and have left it for new generations.

Author’s Note: Just enjoy it while it lasts, guys. Thank you to all those supportive souls who sent their good vibes via ask or DM <3 especially to Napofthesoul, your words really meant a lot, sweetie.

Previous Chapters: 1: “New York, New York”

Masterpost

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Morning, Upper East Siders. Time to wake up from bad dreams and face a new day. Though, if you’re a queen just arriving at your realm after time abroad and with two royals fighting for you, looks like things could get uglier in the morning.

Her eyelids hesitated to open at the touch of sunrays coming from a window. Her body was paying off yesterday’s red wine glasses. But she didn’t regret it after thinking about the dramatic performance at the terrace. If anything could’ve calmed her late nerves to see the two men in the same city, and much worse in the same place, that was wine.

“Oh shit”

Alana exhaled loudly as she sat up on the bed at a slow pace for not worsen her nausea. Her hand stretched out to reach her phone. The clock read 10 a.m. It was a miracle her mother hadn’t sent Mishka, her maid and Dorota’s nephew, to her bedroom yet.

But as if thinking of her called her up, Mrs. Howarth and Mishka opened the door seconds later.

“Oh Alana, I almost forgot you were here.”

“Thank you for that, mother.” She rolled her eyes.

Margot eyed from head to toe at her messy daughter for a second before taking her attention back to her smartphone.

“Dress up. We’re running late for the Holland’s annual golf match”

“Mother. I am not going.”

In a single move, Alana stood up from bed to face her mother with a frown. But the cold woman cut her off.

“You are. End of discussion.”

“I agreed to attend your last night’s party. But this is much more”

Her vibrant blue eyes stared straight into her daughter’s as she kept her phone inside her purse.

“You wanted to be back, don’t you? And your grandma’s Charity Foundation would not rise again if you refuse to attend events and show your deep interest on getting more investors.” Margot made a brief pause, but nothing came out of Alana’s mouth. She smirked at her silence. “I’ll be on the limo. Hurry up”

The Howarth girl did as told unwillingly, not before unlocking her phonescreen; one lost call and 4 messages from Timothée. Nothing from Tom. Alana pursed her lips. Maybe her long-time friend understood the message and made peace.

Or at least that’s what she hoped.

* * * * * *

The sun shined bright and clear. A perfect Saturday morning for those lucky souls with no strings and ready to live. Veuve Clicquot Garden looked just as she remembered. It felt so Upper East Side. It smelt like money.

As soon as a waiter approached her, she asked him for a glass of wine. It might be 11:00 a.m., but Breakfast at Tiffany’s with orange juice wasn’t a possibility.

“Oh Alana, my dear.”

“Mrs. O’Brien!”

An elegant grandmother with certainly more class than the British Queen herself stared at her and pulled her into an embrace. The woman who, as her godmother Blair Waldorf, had thought her everything she needed to know about life and this sick elite society.

“My darling, you look wonderful!”

“And you look younger, if I may say so.” Alana exclaimed with a joyful smile over her face.

“Oh, enough” She giggled. “So, what have you been up to, Lana?”

“Europe, recently. But I’m back now. What about you?”

“South Sudan. There’s a terrible situation happening for children there.” The old woman briefly fixed her eyes in the ground with a sad expression. “But of course, the Holland’s believe things can get managed with Golf Match so, shall we?”

Both approached the lunch table to pick some fruit and Alana stayed in silence for a couple seconds until Lilian O’Brien spoke again.

“Christ, I used to enjoy these events very much.”

“Now you don’t?”, Alana frowned as she followed her inside the white tent.

“I still do, dear. What changed was that I don’t only care for my social status anymore, I care about others too.”

Alana seemed to be deeply digesting her words as she nodded. But her analysis was interrupted by a curly mass of hair stepping into the garden followed by the Bass family; Chuck and Blair.

“May you excuse me?”

“Go, Lana. Go”, the old woman nodded gently in a soft attempt to encourage the young girl.

“Was truly a pleasure, Mrs. O’Brien”

Until that very instance, Alana hadn’t paid attention to the music playing in the background because her ears were used to Frank Sinatra’s voice. But when Timothée’s eyes met hers, Etta James’ voice invaded her and suddenly, the scene looked taken from a romantic comedy film.

‘This gotta be a fucking joke’, Alana whispered to herself.

Meanwhile, the European man wearing the latest Berluti’s white design walked towards her. Perhaps aware of the song’s effect, because his steps seemed to be perfectly synchronized with the tune.

“Morning, sunshine.” Timothée said with the same charming smile that made her knees weak.

As soon as he stood before her, Alana thought they’d be dancing or passionately kissing as in an Audrey Hepburn’s films. But they didn’t. A helicopter landing sound interrupted the magic moment, bringing both souls back to reality. Etta James’ voice had faded giving way to Nina Simone’s strong classy style.

‘Am I in Broadway?’

The It-girl frowned sarcastically at the coincidence. The helicopter’s door opened, and Dominic Holland greeted with one hand before helping his wife to step on ground.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Hollands.”

Claps showered the iconic family. Tom was the last to step down. And for Alana’s surprise, his eyes fixed on hers for a millisecond until he turned his head at the crowd welcoming him. Although she tried not to, a part inside her kind of broke when he looked away this time.

But Timothée noticed it; she had blinked twice and finished the glass of wine in one gulp right after Tom joined his family for the magazine picture.

And Chalamet only scowled at his adversary with pursed lips as he posed for the cameras.

* * * * *

The golf match had begun with the Holland boys playing the first holes. Tom won every single one of them. He was good at this; polo and golf were his favorite sports.

Alana and Timothée were sitting along the Bass. At first, they sat there because of Blair, but then she learned that Timothée had followed her because of Chuck. Although Chuck Bass wasn’t anything else than just her godmother’s husband, it shocked her the fact that Timothée had never told her he was related to him.

And she wondered why he’d hide it.

“Well, it’s Chuck’s turn to smack golf’s yard”

Blair Waldorf said with that elegant smile of hers as Bass moved the chair to let his wife stood up. She picked her purse and looked at her goddaughter.

“Your godfather Nate is coming, dear. Tell him to wait for us.”

“Sure, Aunt Blair.” Alana nodded forcing a smile.

Alone in the table, the two millionaire youngsters shared a brief moment of awkward silence filled only by the crowd sound and murmurs of polite laughs in near tables.

Timothée doubted on say something but his heart couldn’t bear her strange behavior, making him sip his drink and swallow hard.

“Are you okay, Alana?”, he inquired in a more worried tone than he’d liked.

The Howarth girl frowned nonchalantly as she brought a vegetarian pressed Italian little sandwich into her mouth and chewed on it carefree before answering.

“I am. Perfectly. Just wondering when were you going to tell me you’re a Chalamet-Bass?” She asked still in a nonchalant mode as if talking about the weather, without facing him. “He’s the real reason you’re here, isn’t it?”

He turned his torso and laid his arm over his chair’s back to completely look at her.

“He’s not, they invited me. And I knew you’d be here.”

His voice was softer this time. Alana kept sitting straight as she glanced the garden, whatever but his eyes.

“When you messaged me last night asking to see me and talk, I never expected you’d go for my godmother’s help.”

“Even she can tell why I am in New York.”

“Bass Industries is a good reason.”

Timothée leaned just a few inches closer to her.

“I didn’t mention him because we said ‘the past is in the past’”

Alana shut her eyes in contained frustration for a second before turning her head to meet his eyes.

“But he’s not past. He’s present!”

“So is Tom Holland.” He said in the same calmed velvety tone as before.

Her whole face went pale with the mere mention of his name and her lips parted yet speechless.

“He told me everything at yesterday’s party”, Timothée continued.

Neither of them uttered a word for a few seconds. The sound of applauses and shouts of celebration for the winner echoed from behind.

Alana’s weak expression was replaced by a serious one. She looked away and grabbed her purse.

“Then we’re even.”

“It’s not that”, Chalamet began to elaborate but she cut him off right after standing up from her seat.

“You know? I really wanted this thing between us worked out”

And she walked away of the white tent in that elegant way of hers, praying that he wouldn’t follow her.

But he did, meeting her just halfway to the lavatories. Again, they were face to face. His eyes were almost watery, and the desperation now reflected over his persona.

“What you wanted me to do if not come here? Can you imagine how I felt? You left 2 days after graduation!”

Her eyes almost went watery too at the sound of his broken voice seeking for answers. Though, she swallowed the lump in her throat and crossed her arms over her chest with pursed lips.

“And so, what?”

“Never really got a chance to talk things out”

“We’ve got nothing to say, Timothée.” She responded forcing a smile with pain in her tone as a tear fell down her cheek. “You were always out in parties to ‘find producers’ for your director’s debut in film business”

“When you learned about my crazy past and reputation, I told you I was about to leave it for my Art… And for you”

“And you did?”

“I tried.” Timothée looked away, smoothing his hair back with one hand in an attempt to hold tears inside before locking eyes with Alana again. “But…”

Though, as soon as she heard the same word that had begun past fights between them, Alana exhaled loudly and showed a tired expression.

“Sure, Chalamet. Now please, stop. Let’s be friends and that’s it. Carpe Diem.”

“Don’t come me with the Carpe Diem thing. I’m here because…”

“Timothée, please. We tried a couple of times, and all went to trash. Just…”

But she added no more. Instead, her body turned to follow her heels somewhere far from there.

Timothée sighed as he let her go this time, not being aware that a pair of brown eyes were glued on him with rage injected on them.

****

Tom had won against Chuck Bass. Everyone cheered and congratulated his victory, even some old men in their 60s patted his shoulder after uttering “great match” with a satisfied smile.

In his way to join his family at the white tent, he recognized Alana’s figure walking in the middle of the garden and then being stopped by a man in white suit. Tom had to narrow his eyes to confirm the identity of who his mind already knew; Timothée Chalamet.

He tightened his jaw when he saw Alana leaving the scene with a shadow of pain on her very feature and got to restrain his desire to hit that black wavy head.

****

Spotted at Veuve Clicquot Garden: Tom Holland lifting a golf club to hit not a ball but a curly head. Current Match Play; Timothée 1 - Tom 0

****

Alana touched-up her eyeliner with a powder shadow and used the corner of the makeup sponge to remove any evidence of the smeared eyeliner made by her late watery eyes. She stared at herself in the mirror as she took a deep encouraging breath. She hated the fact she got to ran into the toilettes and hide there from Timothée. ‘What a child I am’.

The Howarth girl took one last glance at the mirror before opening the door back to the garden.

She hadn’t walked three steps when her chest crashed against someone’s back.

“Sorry, am…”, Alana began to apology.

The young man turned around to face her and a genuine smile crossed his face when he recognized her.

“Lana?”

“Harry?”, she smiled too.

Harry Holland, one of the Tom’s brother twins she used to babysit in the building when their parents were away.

They immediately pulled each other into an embrace.

“God! Good to see you”

“Me too. Look how handsome you look”, she eyed him from head to toe.

“And you, pretty as always”, Harry imitated her.

“Where’s Sam?”, Alana’s eyes looked for the other twin behind Harry’s back.

“Probably eating every dessert available”, he giggled. “Come join us”

****

The table Harry leaded her to was filled with the Holland family and her parents, the Howarth.

Just seconds before Alana took a seat, Chuck and Blair appeared. And while he was excusing for leaving early, Blair approached to Alana close enough for her to hear her warning;

“Drama’s not over, A. Just don’t explode here, darling. For your own sake.”

The elegant couple left. Alana showed a polite smile and nodded, not sure what her godmother referred with ‘drama’. Though, she found out a second later when Margot Howarth, her mother, placed her hand on top of Alana’s over the table.

“Alana, here you’re. We were just talking about you”

Indeed, everyone’s eyes were glued on her with big smiles drawn across their faces. Even the twins and little Patrick were happy.

“Europe must’ve been exciting”, Elizabeth Holland, Tom’s mother, said interlacing her fingers over the table as she genuinely smiled.

“It was great, of course.” Alana answered as she grabbed the glass of wine the waiter offered her.

“We’re glad you’re back, dear.” Elizabeth looked at her husband, Dominic, who nodded graciously.

Mrs. Holland was truly happy for her return because she couldn’t stop smiling. She had always appreciated her.

Margot sighed, imitating everyone’s smiles but with a hint of pride in it because was her daughter the main subject, just as she always loved her to be.

“Can you believe? Harry and Sam’s Cotillion is this Friday as your cousin Cass’”, she said raising her eyebrows as if surprised.

Tom arrived, being welcomed with more cheering from his brothers. He took a seat as far from Alana as possible, which was just two seats difference; Patrick and Sam were in between.

“Remember when Alana and Tom went together to Cotillion?”, Elizabeth added with a nostalgic sigh.

“Time flies isn’t it?”, Margot did the same.

“I know… Just think about it. In a blink of an eye, our sons will be getting married”, Mrs. Howarth gathered her hands as in an applause while raising her eyebrows thus drawing a ‘cannot wait’ expression in her feature.

Dominic Holland, who had been chatting along Marcus Howarth about today’s golf match, joined the conversation.

“Alana would be perfect to wear the family ring”

He patted her wife’s hand joyfully. Margot, Elizabeth and Dominic glanced at them with a satisfied smile given, perhaps, by the picture created in their imagination of a perfect wedding.

“Oh she will.” Margot stated. “They’ve been friends since childhood”

This was what Blair warned her about. Tom and Alana uncomfortably sipped two or maybe three times their drinks as if a mirror stood between them. She wished her wine was scotch, while he wished his brandy was vodka.

A heavy environment settled between Tom and Alana’s bodies right after their parents celebrated their fantasy. Even Patrick felt a little weird being‘third wheels’ in this situation.

Harry noticed it too. And the twins made everything in their hands to change the subject back into the next season’s event, suggesting a polo match.

Alana only recognized gross sounds of what was discussed next. Her eyes were blank, realizing that her return wouldn’t be as easy as she thought it’d be. The Holland’s comment made her think of her latest nightmare; her life could change so fast if she married Tom. She’d basically sign herself up for the same traditional life she ran away from; she’d become a socialite woman caught up in the system.

So, the It-girl fumbled her phone out of her Cartier purse and dialed a number she knew by heart. Her thumbs moved fast over the keyboard and clicked the ‘send’ icon.

*****

Start buying those dancing shoes, kids. Looks like we’ll be going to the chapel soon.

****

Hours later, New York City lights announced the beginning of nocturnal life affairs. The city that never sleeps. And less if you’re in the Upper East Side.

After Timothée received Alana’s text, he arranged a reservation for what he saw as a special occasion at Le Bernadin, one of the top six most exclusive restaurants in New York.

Alana arrived there on time in an elegant blue dress. He was already waiting for her at the table and helped her seat by holding back the chair like a true gentleman.

“Thought we’d go somewhere more… private”, her eyes traveled around the place.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Le Bernadin is excellent”, she slightly frowned.

“Not that. I mean, sorry for today’s”, he cleared his throat and showed her an apological smile.

“I’m sorry too. I was maybe a little too harsh with you about the… Chuck thing”

“But you were right about the hiding thing.” He started in such an honest tone that it sent chills down Alana’s back, freezing her on her seat. “I don’t wanna hide anything from you, Lana. That day before our graduation when we broke up and you told me I never committed to our relationship; I couldn’t sleep trying to see it from your perspective. And you were right. After our lovely summer when road tripping all around Western Europe, I pretended to forget my reputation and begin from scratch when it was clear that could never happen. Then parties came and we split for a month because you weren’t used to that part of me. Art class joined us again, you were my date for several parties more and it seemed to work out this time. I just don’t know where it went wrong…”

Timothée stopped to take a deep breath and calm himself, cause up to this moment his tone had changed revealing the true desperation behind his words.

“That’s why I’m here.”

Alana was perplexed. She never imagined herself in that situation with him; at least not outside her dreams. On the contrary, she prayed not to see him ever again, convincing herself that her decision to leave Europe would make things easier for both. Yet he had found his way back to her quite earlier than expected.

Now she sipped her drink to brush away the lump in her throat when the sudden memory of their fights, the nights alone, and their breakup flooded her mind.

“You left me no choice.” She looked away and sighed as she tried to hold the tears inside. “Remember one of our first talks when I told you about how it made me sick all the socialite stuff and its hypocrisy? Well, I was so happy you weren’t so involved in that sick game… New York seemed just a far bad dream.”

The mere memory of a hopeful time made her so nostalgic, that her brain got to remind her to take a deep breath. She turned to face him.

“But when your parties began, I said ‘let’s give it a chance’, though something inside didn’t feel good. Even when that wasn’t the socialite, yet there was a similar sensation with my past. And when our Netflix and cuddle nights became YOUR party nights as soon as some old buddies of yours arrived at your flat, leaving me there ALONE… I just couldn’t handle it no more. I wasn’t ready to deal this new thing.”

Tears flooded her eyes inevitably. And she couldn’t help herself on a few tears from sliding down her cheek. Timothée’s heart ached by watching her in that state. A state he promised he’d never be the cause of, yet he was.

He approached her slowly, sitting at the chair right next to her.

“We could’ve sorted it out together”, Timothée whispered as he cupped her face in his hands and wiped away the tears running down her cheek with his thumb.

“You weren’t there. Your friends needed you.” She avoided any eye contact for her own sake.

“Nothing, listen to me, nothing is more important for me than you.”

Their watery eyes finally met.

“I’m scared. I just don’t…”

But before she could finish her sentence, Timothée passed his hand around her neck and pulled her into a kiss. Her blood ran cold at first but then she succumbed to the moment.

Once they pulled away, both stared deep at each other for an instance before he showed a glint of mixed hope and shyness.

“I’m scared too. I’ve never felt this way for anybody. Didn’t even believe it was possible but seems like Hollywood doesn’t exaggerate.”

“Timothée…”

“I want to try again, please”

“There are no third chances”

“For me, Alana. Do it for me, for us. If you still have feelings for me, even the weakest one, give me a chance, and I’ll prove to you that we aren’t supposed to be apart.”

“I don’t know… How”

“Me neither but we can take a leap of faith, together.”

“A little faith, trust and pixie dust”

Alana giggled and Timothée joined her. The atmosphere between them slightly changed and both hearts felt less heavy. She bit her lip and gave him a slight nod.

“Okay”, she nodded.

“Okay?”

Relief washed over Timothée’s aura, drawing a big smile across his face. One of true happiness.

“We’ll take it slow”, Alana continued as she got contagious with the hopeful ambience between them.

“At our own pace.” Timothée added.

“And won’t let our past get in the way.”

“Promise. I’ve left all behind.”

He stated. And everything seemed as if taken away from a fairy tale the couple had written themselves, making her forget that such a thing cannot be at the Upper East Side.

****

The moment Nate Archibald’s daughter stepped into the Howarth’s penthouse as she had done countless times back in the days, Mishka knew something was going on.

Kiernan Archibald was Alana’s best friend ever since kindergarten, and she never arrived without a reason.

It took no time before the girls gathered at Alana’s room, and ate macarons with champagne.

“You know? When I saw you the day you came back, I almost faint.”

Kiernan had her legs crossed in the air and her abdomen over the bed as she ate another macaron with a smirk.

“Yeah, if it weren’t for Mishka you would’ve hit your head very bad”, Alana giggled while resting her head over her pillow, also on bed.

“Thank heaven I didn’t”, Kiernan joined her giggles and incorporated herself to see her friend better. “Now, tell me about your dinner with that European king.”

“Well, you’re updated with the whole situation”, Alana exhaled loudly as the yesterday scenes came to her mind. “Tom and Timothée already met and my mother is dreaming of her daughter being a Howarth-Holland”

Her friend made an “upps” face as she sipped her champagne glass and bit a strawberry.

“The thing is we decided to give us a new chance.” Alana continued with a hopeful grin drawn across her face.

“Timothée and you?”, Kiernan raised her eyebrows.

“We said we’ll take it slow but-”

Before the Howarth girl could explain, the Archibald heiress cut her off while locking eyes into her friend’s.

“Hey, you like him. If you feel good with him and your gut’s telling you to go for it then go for it”, her hands emphasized her words by opening both as if showing her the answer to her question.

“That’s the matter, Kiki. My gut is out of service or something”

“Wait what?”

Alana took a deep breath, though she knew it was almost impossible to avoid Kiernan’s inquisitive look.

“Listen, what I feel about Timothée is very special. He’s so damn charming and smart and funny. He’s very observant and caring.”

“But?”

“But… That night at my welcoming party when I saw Tom, something inside me kind of winced. And when he spoke to me… Uggh, it sent shivers down my spine”

Kiernan was open-mouthed, processing the situation.

“Oh Lana, you’re in such a trouble.”

Seconds later, she raised her glass at Alana for an impromptu toast in honor of whatever thing came. After both finished the last champagne drop, Kiki added;

“Just give it time. The answer will come to you, A.”

****

Have you been so busy that you’ve forgotten what time of year it is? Couture, quadrilles and cutthroat competition. That’s right. It’s time for Cotillion.

****

Cotillion was a just as Alana remembered. If not better, but she doubted that. She got to admit, when she was Queen the rules were fancier.

Harry and Sam Holland walked towards her as soon as they saw her coming inside.

“Hey, Lana”, the twins said at the same time.

“Guys, look how handsome you’re!”, she smiled as her eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Hugo Boss himself said that too”, Harry added and chuckled.

“So, you’re escoting my cousin Cassandra huh?”

“Yeah”, Harry blushed at the sound of her name.

“Take care of her, Harry. And yourself! The Howarths are not easy girls.”

She patted his shoulder, wishing him good luck.

“That’s a fact”, Harry nodded but went pale as soon as he realized she was a Howarth too.

Sam opened his eyes and glanced at his brother with a “bro, wtf” look. He just screwed it up.

“Well, enjoy your night guys”, Alana blinked and forced a smile before walking somewhere else.

Despite her efforts, she couldn’t help the nostalgia vibe that surrounded her; looking at the prep-school girls excited and nervous for their presentation, the boys wearing tuxedos and trying their best against the current king. Everything reminded her the Cotillion she and Tom attended to; they had been the best couple ever since the legendary Blair and Nate or even the unexpected Jenny and Nate one.

At first, she expected the nostalgia would fade away when her brain noticed this wasn’t her Cotillion. But the more she walked around the place, the more it seemed like time had never passed. Every face around her was a face she was familiar with. And she got a weird feeling that they weren’t because of Cotillion but for her; to see with their own eyeballs she was back in New York.

Kiernan was the bell that saved her from getting an anxiety attack.

“Ugh, people always sticking their noses where don’t belong”, the Archibald heiress said as if she had read Alana’s mind.

“Did it say on Gossip Girl that I’d be here?”, Alana inquired with a tired expression.

“Uhm, nope. But it did say about Cotillion and cutthroat competition. You know she likes pun, A.”

“What about that clean slate? She should leave me alone”

“New York missed you”, Kiernan shrugged. “No sign of T.H?”

“Not yet and praying to keep that way.” Alana said in a serious and a hint of worried tone.

Both friends were about to sit when something in the crowd caught their attention. Every young soul there began muttering and pulling their phones out.

“What’s going on?”, Kiernan wondered.

The answer appeared just after her words. There were they; Tom Holland accompanied with Serena van der Woodsen and Dan Humphrey’s son, Noah Humphrey.

Every single phone camera pointed at them.

*******

Spotted: An elite family reunion. Don’t you love Cotillion surprises?

******

Noah Humphrey immediately recognized his friends and walked towards them.

“Look who’s in town!”, he shouted opening his arms.

“Gosh, Noah!”, Alana smiled as both pulled each other into a tight embrace.

Meanwhile, Kiernan and Tom saluted each other by their last names. “Archibald”, “Holland”. She didn’t like him after what happened with her friend, and he just imitated her attitude. Though, Alana’s best friend sacrificed herself and put her dislike apart to take him as far as possible from the Howarth girl.

“Holland, why don’t you tell me where’s Sam? He’ll be escorting my sister Nicole”, Kiernan hold him from his arm forcing him to follow her.

“Sure, he is. Noah?”, Tom locked eyes briefly with Alana and looked at his best friend.

“I’ll stay here.” Noah nodded.

When their bodies disappeared in the crowd, Noah turned back to face her.

“So… Europe, huh?”, Noah giggled. “Was quite a bomb when you left.”

“I know! Everyone keeps telling me about it”, Alana responded aiming to be sarcastic but instead sounding irritated. “Sorry. It’s just so… overwhelming”

“That’s the UEA… And that guy at the airport didn’t help you with the gossip either”

“What do you mean?”, she narrowed her eyes.

“Well, his presence made your return the big hit wondering who he is? Or what is he doing here?”, he looked at her with inquisitive eyes, almost as powerful as Kiernan’s.

“None of their business.” Alana pursed her lips.

“Seriously, Lana. Do we have to care about him?”

“Wha- No! Clean slate, remember? It’s not like the old times.”

“The good old times”, Noah chuckled by the memory of countless party nights. “So, he won’t be here long?”

“Noah, where’s this coming from?”, Alana frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.

“From a caring friend.”

He said that truly, but she didn’t see it the same way.

“Oh tell that to someone who knows you less than I do, Humphrey.” She scoffed. “If this is one of Tom’s strategy then I don’t care”

No answer came out of Noah’s mouth. Alana rolled her eyes.

“I’ll go for a drink”, she stated walking away from a friend for the second time in that night.

*****

Once at the bar table with a drink in hand, Alana smoothed her hair back with one hand while letting out a frustrated sigh.

“What does a beautiful woman like you alone?”, a voice asked her seductively from her back.

“Timothée, you came”, she turned to see him standing in an elegant black suite.

“Of course, sweetie. As soon as I read your text, I rushed here.”

“Thanks, wanna join me on preparing my cousin?”

“Sure.” He followed her through an aisle. “What’s this Cotillion stuff?”

“Oh, well is like a social presentation party. It was supposed to be symbolic, but girls take it very very seriously. A battle for power.” She raised her eyebrows ironically. “Cass is not quite the Queen, but my mother forced me to be her mentor”

At the end of the aisle, a door leaded to an elegant room with teen girls in expensive dresses and makeup covering every inch of their bodies waited for the moment.

When Alana entered, every teenager gasped and made way for her to walk comfortably. She frowned at their reaction that back in the days would’ve been completely normal for her. Two seconds later, she found her cousin.

“Cass, you’re perfect!”, Alana complimented her.

Cassandra Howarth was three years younger; therefore, three years less experienced and more pretentious.

“C’mon you don’t believe it”, she got her arms over her hips and not noticed the young man standing behind Alana.

“Harry Holland is your escort, and you’re a Howarth. It’ll be enough for these people.”

Cass stared at her outfit in the mirror and took a deep breath.

“You’re right. The odds are on my favor, you’re my mentee, Blair Waldorf was your mentee… I’ll be fine”, saying this more to herself than for Alana.

A bell announced the Elite Women presentation ceremony was about to begin. The teenagers rushed to the door.

“Good luck”, Alana waved a goodbye.

Timothée and her stood near the stage as a good mentor would do.

The rest of the iconic elite group were seated near the bar, waiting for the show to end. Tom was quite edgy, like a caged tiger deciding whether to eat the iron bars and scape or stay in captivity. Kiernan sipped her mojito, and while she did, she saw through the glass how he made up his mind as he clicked once something on his phone and then kept it in his jacket pocket.

Alana saw that too, though turned her gaze at the stage and swallowed hard.

The Archibald heiress narrowed her eyes suspiciously; she didn't like his attitude one bit. But before she’d approach him, another event caught her attention.

Different ringtones echoed at the same time and every young witness grabbed their phones out to check the notification.

It was Gossip Girl.

Did anyone notice something strange when Alana returned? No paparazzi. Apparently, Europe wasn’t aware of who you are, A. But don’t worry, an anonymous soul has proper manners and sent some details about her big little adventures. Please, shall we enjoy the reading? Cause Gossip Girl goes Europe.

First things first. It was true she ran away from that indecent kiss with our King Tom… But our Queen found a new King in those tiding European lands.

Timothée Chalamet, ladies and gentlemen. If Carlo Magno had a successor, that’s definitely Timothée.

He showed her his Empire, and found love while they did. Just look at these wonderful FRANCE and CARIBBEAN magazine covers.

But then, uh oh. Is that Matty Healy and Alana on MUSIC ICON cover?

Looks like our Queen just expanded her horizons with flying colours. Monte Carlo and Mallorca are her new capitols.

And the party won’t start ‘till New York walks in.

“Fuck…”, Kiernan muttered under her breath as she looked for Alana’s whereabouts.

But, it took no effort to find her; cause people around her had moved aside, forming a circle with Timothée and her as the center.

Alana was puzzled. It was until Timothée handed her his phone with the Gossip Girl’s latest tweet that she understood what was going on.

For an instance, the whole world fell over her chest impeding her to breath. She stared at Timothée with eyes wide open and a shadow of confusion casted on her very feature as Gossip Girl’s last words resonated in the back of her head.

And that’s when her inner voice reawakened. She clenched her jaw, swallowed the venom she just received and holded Timothée’s hand, walking away from that circle.

Perhaps Alana Howarth returned days ago, but the Queen had just woken up. The bitch Queen was back.

Kiernan recognized that glint in her eyes when she reached her friend halfway from the door. And Noah knew it too. Even Tom knew it.

“We’re leaving, see you K”, Alana brushed past her as the valet boy opened the door for the couple.

Timothée followed her from behind, still holding her hand. He was shocked by her brusque change.

Kiernan just nodded.

And, although Cotillion representatives tried to dissipate the atmosphere, Alana left more open-mouthed witnesses than those in Valentine’s Day.

****

Outside, the show continued.

“That’s fucking it”, Alana shouted with anger cracking her voice. She fumbled her phone out her purse and dialed a number. “Geof, meet me at the front door in 2 minutes please”

“I brought my car”, Timothée interrupted.

“Forget it, go home.” She added before hung up.

The valet boy drove Timothée’s Jaguar and the couple got inside. As soon as they were there, he exhaled loudly and fixed his eyes on her.

“So…”, he started. But received no answer.

Silence reigned in the car for a couple of blocks, when a semaphore made them stop. Alana stared at him with a playful grin across her face.

“You know baby? There’s no need to take it slow. Just…”

But before she added something else, she wrapped her hands around his neck and crashed her lips against his; pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

“Are you sure?”, Timothée asked in a soft voice.

Both lovers wrapped their hands and stared straight into each other’s eyes.

“More than ever”, she smirked.

Timothée pulled her in for a second kiss but it was brief this time.

A satisfied smile spread across his face and Alana raised her head as only Queens know when a solemn phrase is about to be said.

“If you can't beat them… Join them”

*****

A, you left America a star. But after your exploits in Europe you’ve come back a supernova. And yet nothing explodes without a fuse. I wonder what —or who— lit yours. Perhaps we all know the handsome answer to that. Just careful with the fire, kids. You might get burned.

You know you love me, XOXO

Gossip Girl.

---------------------

TAG LIST: (tagged those who asked but feel free to let us know if you want to be removed or added)

@clairesrainbow; @noobmaster63; @claryaki; @silverscreenkid; @vogueworthy-barnes; @persefoneaurispa ; @izdevett ; @mae-petite-etoile ; @tpwkalwayshs; @meliketozier; @aliceinwhateverland; @justcallmenameless; @kathrynisadogperson; @loricwizardbluetoastedcake; @vintageroses1014516; @im-not-edgy-im-just-pretentious; @xlilmultiimaginesworld; @sunnygubler; @agentcvrters; @adorablehumanbeing; @goingwiththewind; @rachel-mc11; @candycxorn; @bruvberta; @justficsandstuff; @wonderwoman292; @ncrediblelove; @napoftheesoul

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shadowamongfireworks · 5 years

Text

Patton and the “Woofman” costume Theory/Speculation

My theory is that Patton purposefully misunderstood the directions he was given to dress as a Wolfman (Werewolf) in favor of dressing as a “Woofman” because of what the werewolf represents to him. This can be understood by looking at what werewolves are, the perceived differences between wolves and dogs in American culture, the resulting perception of each species by Patton, and parallels regarding Patton’s past actions and behaviors.

A werewolf, in American culture and media, is a person, who at a certain point in time -generally a full moon- will transform into either a near regular looking wolf or an anthropomorphic wolf. As the werewolf primarily appears in horror movies, it is often specifically the latter form, and this is the kind Patton would have been dressing as.

https://eportfolios.macaulay.cuny.edu/monsters/2016/11/08/the-werewolfvampire-dichotomy/

Heather McCallum writes, “...the werewolf also represents the loss of control, becoming too naturalistic and losing identity to the passions... Giving in to that monstrous impulse eliminates all forms of self-control, removes that person entirely from society into a very isolating existence. Oftentimes, those who transform wind up hurting the ones they love most in the course of their unnatural existence. The werewolf/transformation narrative is a suitable allegory for addictions and self-serving pleasures: while pursuing their desires, they become slaves to their urges, and those urges destroy them.”

Wolves and dogs, despite being similar species, are perceived very differently in American culture. Wolves are often seen as predators, as a threat to humans.

https://etd.ohiolink.edu/!etd.send_file?accession=kent1222706628&disposition=inline

“Throughout the history of English folklore and interest in the natural world, the wolf has been associated with a variety of socially unacceptable traits...Summers states that the “distinctive features of the wolf are unbridled cruelty, bestial ferocity, and ravening hunger. [. . .] He is the symbol of Night and Winter, of Stress and Storm, the dark and mysterious harbinger of Death.” Pg 36

Dogs are widely seen in a much more positive light; as pets, as companions for humans, and as protectors. They are heavily associated with friendship, affection, and loyalty. Patton is associated with dogs, though this association much less discussed than his association with cats. In Embarrassing Phases, he describes what makes his costume a “Woofman” costume, focusing on the floppy ears and the dog tag. Both of these traits are indeed associated with dogs specifically.

In a way, dogs are essentially diluted wolves, wolves who over thousands of years adapted to fit their changing surroundings after teaming up with humans, and then later further changed/were changed to suit the needs and desires of humans.

This may be comparable to what happened with Patton. Patton would have originally just represented Thomas’ feelings, but overtime, as they started to grow up, his role as Morality would also be introduced. He would be influenced by Thomas’ parents teachings as well as those of other adults and people in general that Thomas interacted with. However, at some point, Patton subconsciously took many of those teachings to an unhealthy, but not uncommon, extreme, and he began to filter out and repress the things that he had been taught were negative; certain ideas, and potentially feelings as well. It has been at least heavily implied that Patton consciously caused the separation of Roman and Remus, there are some theories that Virgil may have also been a result of Patton’s filtering, and I believe Patton may have even split himself into two, seeing as how he’d repress the emotions he’d come to believe were bad.

We have never, ever seen Patton outright angry, but we may have caught smaller glimpses of it here and there in the series in the form of passive aggression. “Boy what an ass-et to your personality”, from Making Some Changes (0:37) is one major instance of this. (Patton flipping Deceit off in S vs S would be evidence, but according to Thomas himself it was actually a blooper that accidentally got through the editing process). Most often, it seems to be converted into another feeling or action, such as Patton’s determination to try to get Virgil to stop being self-deprecating.

Knowing about Patton’s repression is important. Going back to the concept of the werewolf, like quote 1 said, turning into a werewolf is essentially the destructive wolf side taking over an individual and going rampant. Taking into account his circumstances and actions in regards to his filtering and repression, and the overall cultural association with wolves and negative ideas and feelings, Patton may feel that the Wolfman and the general werewolf narrative is a symbolic representation of his worst fears for Thomas and himself : that he will fail or has already failed to do his job, and that because of his failure(s) the negative feelings and negative Sides will come back, and that those Sides will win. So when he was given the instructions to dress as a werewolf he found a loophole and actively decided to change the Wolf part of his costume into a Dog, a similar but separate species related to wolves that he viewed much more positively, and then he covered up his motivation for the change by making it look like a misunderstanding by utilizing the dog pun.

Body Language Analysis and Other Connections

Body Language Analysis

In the Embarrassing Phases episode, this interaction occurs:

Patton appears to consistently mishear “Wolf” as “Woof”, despite the clear pronunciation by the others. He insists that that he’s hearing “Woofman”, and doesn’t appear to start to back down until Roman’s “Wolfman” line. Look at Pat’s body language after Logan’s third “Wolf man” correction (panel 7) . He is mirroring Logan’s body language to an extent. He’s making Direct eye contact, his head is slightly tilted forward (which if it was tilted forward more would become a clearer sign of aggression in this context), upper body leaning forward, hands on hips, feet planted. This is an aggression/dominance body language cluster in everything but his facial expression. Then it drops immediately as soon as Roman starts saying the word; in the next shot Patton is standing further away from the camera, and is also off-center making him further away from Roman, with much more neutral (just verging on passive looking at his facial expression) body language. This may mean that he realized he was becoming too aggressive trying to defend his point, so he immediately stopped and took on neutral/passive body language, all the while continuing to act oblivious so the group wouldn’t realize something was wrong.

Hear no Evil

There are multiple theories going around regarding the “See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil” picture spotted in the Can Lying Be Good? video. One such theory is that the image is actually related to the Core Sides rather than the Other Sides, and that Patton is specifically related to Hear no Evil. Looking at the “Woofman” interaction, I feel like that interaction may be further evidence -along with this thumbnail from DWIT and other interactions in the series- pointing towards Patton being Hear no Evil, as he seems to be actively choosing to not hear the correction he is being given by the others. He always says “Woofman”, never “Wolfman”.

Orange Dark Side’s Animal Association

I believe that the next Dark Side will be associated with the Wolf. Both snakes and octopi/deep sea creatures are both animals people fear (going off the idea that the series as a whole has to do with being able to accept and work with all parts of yourself), so it would be safe to say that a wolf would not be out of place, as wolves have been feared by humans for centuries and still face stigma today. Patton may have split himself into two individuals in the process of trying to filter out the more “negative” parts of himself, so if that resulting dark side was associated with wolves, it would make sense for Patton to actively avoid using wolf imagery or saying anything directly related to wolves, even to the point of avoiding just saying the word “wolf” like he may have been during the interaction I analyzed.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #ts patton sanders #ts morality #morality sanders #tw remus mention #tw angry patton mention #werewolf #ts theories #dukedontlook

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pr-ay-the-gay-away · 6 years

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Someone, a long time ago, an "insider" told someone else in my group about 5H girls being total slaves to their contracts and that even sexual favors are needed to be done. They used the example from LM having to flirt with business executives and that's also a reason why Sinu never leaves Camila beside, even in PR or any kind of meeting. They said Lauren had already did it, (IDK) and I wonder what you think about this? It was a long time ago too.

Trigger warning: This post is gonna be on the topic of sexual violence. Skip this post if that’s triggering for you.

“an “insider” told someone else in my group”What is this “group” you’re referring to? How come you have someone claiming to be an industry insider coming up to this group? Can you please provide more context and background to this setting? Thanks :)

“about 5H girls being total slaves to their contracts”

I mean, it’s not really an exaggerated sentiment. Much has already been said and written about music industry contracts subjecting artists to slavery-like conditions

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Prince Compares Record Contracts To Slavery In Rare Meeting With Media

“Record contracts are just like — I’m gonna say the word – slavery”

Singer-Songwriter The-Dream: ‘Artists Are Treated Like Slaves’

“Plenty of passionate owners have built record labels that ripped off their artists.That’s because artists are treated like slaves. We have terrible contracts, we have streaming services that pay one-tenth of a cent per play, we have no laws to protect us.”

“and that even sexual favors are needed to be done”

I mean, I highly doubt that the contracts would stipulate that sexual favors are included. That would be highly dubious and probably illegal. But I have no doubt that a patriarchal industry rife with overt sexism and misogyny, with huge power disparities at play, would be a veritable breeding ground for abuses of power, harassment, and sexual violence.

Remember Harvey Weinstein and the #MeToo movement? This man was lauded, praised and publicly adored for over 30 years. That is a fucking long time, and he was a fucking huge industry player. He was a fucking head honcho figure. Over three decades worth of professional working women were subjected to harassment and sexual violence at his hands. Some of them, many amongst them, are high profile female performers whom you’ve probably watched on screen. He blatantly abused his position of power to intimidate women into silence, and to punish and freeze women out of the industry for their rejection or for standing up to him. This wasn’t him with a knife in a back alley preying on women one-on-one. This was him holding a position of power and influence, along with his colleagues, his employees, industry partners, industry players, any stakeholder in the system who is subject to being influenced by the power and money of a huge industry player like Harvey Weinstein - they all contributed to and protected this system of abuse. This is a systemic issue. This is not a Harvey Weinstein issue. This is an issue with the status quo. The women who came forward about him - we wouldn’t even know whether they’re only a small fraction of the number of women he has abused. How do you keep that many survivors silent over a period of several decades? Shame and fear. Fear of retribution. Fear of succumbing to the trauma, the shame that comes with experiencing being a victim of sexual violence and acknowledging that pain and owning it publicly. The #MeToo movement presented a vocal platform and somewhat of a safe space for survivors to share their experiences with the public, but also with each other, to recognize that they are not alone in this and they had support.

Now consider this: the music industry hasn’t yet had anything close to a #MeToo movement. How fucking dark is that?

You mentioned Little Mix’s comments

“‘Someone from our US record label said, “Go and flirt with all those important men.” I was like, “Why have I got to go in and flirt to get my song on the radio?”’ They consider themselves fortunate they had each other as back-up. Things might have been different if they were solo and left to fend for themselves.”

Just look at Kesha and how our favorite evil corporation, Sony Music, has thrown its enormous weight and money into protecting their very own rapists

“Sony Music Entertainment is looking to get out of a court ruling that ordered the record label to tell Kesha and her legal team who it interviewed during an internal investigation into Lukas “Dr. Luke” Gottwald.”

Oh, about those “internal investigations” like the one Sony conducted? Just an example of how the industry doesn’t have safe standards for reporting sexual harassment so that it can be investigated properly by legal authorities. This is something Dina LaPolt, Fifth Harmony’s legal representative, is very conscious of given she was part of a group who drafted recommendations to address this.

“[…] we recommend music industry companies and law firms adopt the following internal practices […] Make instances of harassment an express exception to NDAs and arbitration provisions.”

Take Taylor Swift’s case against David Mueller

“It highlighted the underreporting of sexual assault”

Taylor Swift Speaks Out About Believing Sexual Assault Victims on Anniversary of Her Trial Verdict

“I guess I just think about all the people that weren’t believed and the people who haven’t been believed, and the people who are afraid to speak up because they think they won’t be believed”

“I figured that if he would be brazen enough to assault me under these risky circumstances and high stakes, imagine what he might do to a vulnerable, young artist if given the chance. It was important to report the incident to his radio station because I felt like they needed to know”

Wanna know how prevalent sexual harassment is? Very.

A New Survey Finds 81 Percent Of Women Have Experienced Sexual Harassment

Almost every adult woman I know has been subjected to some form of sexual harassment in their life time, whether they themselves have recognized it or not. If you have yet to experience any form of sexual harassment, count yourself lucky up to this point, but you have to understand that it’s a game of probability and statistics as you go forward. If we’re playing “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” then I already know several first and second degree connections who have been victims of contact sexual violence. I am certain I know plenty more people who have been victims of contact sexual violence, I just don’t KNOW of their experiences. Because we are silent.

I am so fucking grateful that Sinu goes with Camila everywhere. I am so fucking grateful that the girls’ parents travelled with them for at least some part of their tours/work commitments. I feel that, similar to Little Mix, I am so grateful that Fifth Harmony were in a group together. I hope they were protected. I hope they protected each other. We know they’ve all been subjected to some form of sexual harassment - most notably online, whether it’s Camila having someone say “suck my dick” during one of her live Q&As, or perverts creating photoshopped porn images of them (btw the Mattmila and Tyren accounts that do this? That’s sexual violence FYI), but also the people who make inappropriate comments or actions in person. Remember that Camila stopped doing koala hugs because people at meet and greets took advantage. That is a polite way of describing that those people sexually harassed her. I have no doubt that behind the scenes, they’ve been subjected to some form of sexual harassment in their workplace by industry staffers - I have no doubt that this could only have intensified as they got older, and probably more so once they all went solo.

“They said Lauren had already did it, (IDK) and I wonder what you think about this”

What was “it” that Lauren had supposedly already done, and who was this “insider” and what was this “group” you claim they were talking to? :\

This is what I think about sexual harassment/violence, as it pertains to the girls:

Statistically speaking, one or more of the girls is likely to have been/or to be subjected to contact sexual violence during their lifetime (Camila being groped during koala hugs actually already counts)

Just taking into account the articles shared above even, I don’t doubt that sexual violence is prevalent and underreported to the point of being almost invisible within the music industry. Keep this in mind when reading the next paragraph.

Lauren has not publicly spoken about any personal experiences of contact sexual violence within the industry. There have neither been public comments made by her or her representatives to suggest that she has definitely experienced contact sexual violence within the industry, nor have there been public comments made by her or her representatives to suggest that she has never experienced contact sexual violence within the industry (at the time of this posting)

I fucking pray (disclaimer: this is hyperbole, I’m not religious) that the girls were protected and safe from that, and that they continue to be safe and protected from that. But I genuinely believe that they have the strength and resilience to overcome and survive whatever trauma they may have been subjected to without our knowledge, or will be subjected to without our knowledge, going forward. Now let’s all go watch Captain Marvel and continue to be inspired to take down the patriarchy.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This is a sensitive topic. I will ask this of all of you armchair WebMDs hanging out here looking to catastrophize these girls’ lives in order to come up with some tragedy porn for your idle minds: this post is not an invitation for you to theorize and hypothesize whether or not some celebrity has been a victim of sexual harassment or sexual violence based on your armchair pseudo-analysis of their body language and facial expressions in their social media posts. Please respect that this is a sensitive topic and refrain from making baseless statements about what may or may not have happened purely from your own projections.

#ask #anon #trigger warning #taylor swift #kesha #ke$ha #little mix #fifth harmony #camila cabello #lauren jauregui #ally brooke #dinah jane #normani #metoo #camren

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timeisacephalopod · 6 years

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AU-College. Tony/?. Tony already 17 and working on yet another doctorate has just returned from home after a school break. He's covered in bruises but he doesn't bother to hide them because he honestly believes no one notices or cares. Always on edge and doing anything and everything to forget the pain, Tony is confused when people he doesn't even know start to ask if he's okay and if he needs any help. Laughing in their face he replied. "You can't help, no one can." (I feel dark today sry?)

So I went with Tony/ Eddie Brock (from Venom if you don’t know). Eddie is an investigative journalist (or in this case he’s in school to be one) and tbh I have no freaking clue how journalism school works (journalism school?) so I’ve sort of made it work like humanities courses? Idk, just accept my bad plot needs bois. Also I altered the ‘you can’t help’ line to better fit the scenario, but the sentiment is the same.

As the prompt suggests, warning abuse references.

Eddie needs a story and since his asshole prof likes corporations a lot more than he does that’s out. Which throws a bunch of stuff in his usual wheelhouse out with it. He thought homelessness was a good topic but got told that wasn’t news, which he doesn’t understand because to his knowledge homelessness isn’t solved. Then he thought hey, school shootings happen basically every other day- they like to say if it bleeds it leads and a whole lot of kids seem to be dying. But he got told the news is already oversaturated with that. So he thought fine, maybe police brutality, that’s violent and not on the news much but he got told that was too controversial and what the fuck is the news for if not to be controversial?

Now he’s stuck with the task of finding a story his irritatingly picky prof will like and to add insult to the injury one of his classmates got approved to write about cryptocurrency. What the fuck is that? Stupid, in Eddie’s opinion. His topics were important, real world issues and this dumbass over here gets to write shit about something no one cares about. Predictable.

He’s eating his muffin angrily and wondering if he can somehow convince his prof to let him write something about climate change and the fact that no matter what an individual does, its still 100 companies doing seventy percent of the damage so why is the news focusing on individuals over corporations when he spots a potentially easier sell. Boy genius, way ahead of his time, and well loved by the American public. He has no interest in Tony Stark whatsoever but there has to be a story there, something underneath that irritatingly arrogant rich kid veneer that’s worth writing about so he decides to make a move.

Tony hates waking up before noon on any given day, assuming he went to bed at all, and dealing with people? He doesn’t like that at any time of day so when he’s minding his own damn business only to have some random guy with porn star lips- he swears to god that’s the only accurate description- he’s already annoyed. “Who the hell are you? Never mind, I don’t actually care,” he says in an irritable tone before going to turn back around but the guy takes his brief interruption to his day in a totally different direction than Tony was expecting.

“Nice shiner, where’d you get that?” he asks and Tony freezes for a moment, used to that fleeting feeling that someone might guess at the truth before realizing no one cares anyways.

He rolls his eyes, “you wouldn’t care if I told you, and even if you did its not like there’s anything you could do about it. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Its not like he’s never said anything and not one time has anything come of it. Sometimes people laugh, actually, and Tony doesn’t know what’s worse. People not hearing him at all or people hearing just fine, but they make a joke out of it. Silence isn’t his thing, but he’s developed a thick skin in regards to how people treat him. Doesn’t have much of a choice, living under his father’s roof and in the public eye. Its amazing, Tony thinks, how fucking obvious his abuse is and no one seems to see what’s in front of their damn faces.

Something about his words seem to draw his companion’s attention though and Tony recognizes the look. “Are you a reporter?” he asks and the guy looks surprised for a half a second.

“Good instinct- but technically I’m still in school,” he says like Tony fucking cares about that.

“Yeah, fuck off,” he says bluntly. He’s got no time for another asshole looking to capitalize off the Tony Stark Story when none of them even get the damn story right.

“You have an interesting take on green energy. Only big name attached to it, too,” he says and Tony frowns.

“You know about my interest in green energy?” he asks. No one ever asks him about his passion project, they all want to know about the bombs and if Tony is honest he’s never really been comfortable with what his father’s company does. He knows the military has a use, and that there are protocols, and a bunch of other things his father has said over and over again but he still wonders what happens when things go wrong. Who’s responsibility is that? Does anyone have to take responsibility at all? His experiences tell him that powerful people don’t need to take responsibility for their actions ever, not if they can pay off the powers that be, and if the military is the same way, well. That brings a new layer of ethics to what SI does but Howard doesn’t care about ethics and Obadiah… he’s always been closer to Tony, but he doesn’t seem concerned with ethics either. Claims that’s the military’s job but Tony isn’t stupid. The military, all branches of it, make bad choices all the time. Which leads him back to who takes responsibility, if anyone.

Green energy is less ethically complicated and more necessary to the world, he thinks, and the projects are interesting and engaging. Tony finds blowing things up easy, but green energy provides a new avenue of engineering.

“Yeah, I keep up with what people are doing. Eddie Brock,” he says, extending his hand to Tony.

Green energy, it’d been a shot in the dark but he knows that Tony’s interest isn’t a passing one and its not congruent with his father’s company’s interests either. Whenever Howard is asked about his son’s projects he consistently tells them he has no interest whatsoever. So its strange that Tony has kept his focus for years, if Eddie’s passing interest in the subject is correct. What’s more strange is that mentioning it had immediately gotten him into Tony’s good graces. Anne tells him that he’s good at that, getting past people’s defenses without trying and he guesses that’s true.

Tony continuously talks around his family and Eddie does his best to try and get back to that because Elder Stark has got to be an interesting guy. Real asshole, he’s sure, but interesting. Tony won’t have any of it though and Eddie has to admit the green energy thing is interesting until he loses Eddie thanks to, put bluntly, being way smarter than him. And Tony’s no good at dumbing it down either, something even he freely admits.

They talk for a good amount of time before Tony grows tense again and Eddie knows why partially because of Tony’s reaction to his being a reporter- or wannabe reporter at the moment- and also because he isn’t stupid. “I’m not writing anything about this,” he tells Tony. “Not to be a dick, but none of this is interesting enough to write anything on anyways. You know how sensationalized media likes to be,” he says, shaking his head.

Something catches Tony’s attention in that because he perks up. “You don’t like that, the sensationalism?” he asks. Its more of a statement, but Eddie knows he’s prodding for a why. He’s done this a million times himself.

“Not really, no. If you want to tell a story, then do that- don’t make up all this crazy shit to make it sound more messed up than it is. Human flaw, thinking things need to hit some kind of extreme before we should have to care about it,” he shakes his head. “Leads to shoddy journalism because we’re pushed to make things sexier, more violent, more of whatever is actually there instead of just doing our jobs. Literally everything ever printed about you proves my point.”

Tony snorts, “you read stories on me?” he asks, incredulous.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Not like Tony Stark is an escapable name but Tony’s lips quirk up.

“No, and you’re not a fan. You talk about SI in a disapproving tone, you only know me from my green energy projects, and although you seem to know stuff about me its pop culture knowledge, not genuine interest.” Eddie raises an eyebrow because that’s a damn in depth analysis but Tony only smiles wider. “I’ve learned to separate out people who know me from fans and super fans. You don’t know me.”

Eddie laughs, “yeah, no one knows you. What we know is the consumable product that is Tony Stark- the celebrity brand. That’s not you, or even a version of you. That’s what’s sellable about you and half of that shit is probably made up. No seventeen year old is a ladies man and its kinda creepy that people even made that a selling point.” And kind of misogynistic too, but Eddie doesn’t mention that. Tony doesn’t seem all that stupid, he’s sure he’s gathered that awhile ago.

He watches his words win more trust, or an approximation of it, and Tony leans forward in interest. “You don’t like celebrity culture,” Tony says.

Hell no, he doesn’t. “Why the would I? We build these people up, put them on pedestals, and then get pissed off at them every five seconds when they do something human. We routinely dehumanize celebrities to a point where they stop knowing how to function because extreme fame clearly fucks you up- look at any child star trying to cope. Having a mental breakdown is now something we think is funny. Its fucked up that we do that to people- treat them in such a dehumanizing way that they seem to forget they’re human too. And that’s when we decide to take them down a notch because we’re mad that they accepted the pedestal we shoved them onto by force.” He shakes his head. Sure, he knows a little celebrity news, its not possible to avoid it, but he doesn’t pay any more than a passing attention to it. What normal shit celebrities are doing this week is none of his business.

Tony’s eyes are bright with interest, “fascinating opinion. Most people think we’re privileged, not disadvantaged.”

Eddie laughs, “of course you’re privileged- celebrities are stupid rich, and your opinions have actual influence over what people believe and that’s a position no one should take advantage of. But the cost is any semblance of privacy and your right to personhood- that’s one hell of a catch. And not one regular rich assholes share.” Fame isn’t something Eddie ever wants, not like normal celebrities anyways. If he’s got clout and fame in journalism he’s fine with that- he doesn’t mind if people know his name. But the kind of fame Tony has? Fuck that.

“And you aren’t going to print any of this conversation?” Tony asks, seemingly for clarification.

“Like I said- nothing sensational enough in this conversation to warrant an article. What am I going to write? ‘Tony Stark Likes Green Energy’? Boring,” he says and it actually kind of is without a project or an emotion to attach to it.

“And if I decided to continue talking to you?” he asks and yes, that’s the in he needs and fuck is that ever predatory. Journalism is like that though, always looking for the right fucked up moments to put on paper, or in this case, the right moments to be let in far enough to find those fucked up moments.

“I’m not going to print anything without asking you about it first,” he says, opting for honest. He’s sure something about Tony is interesting to print, and he’s got a feeling it’ll be about his family or maybe just his father, he’s not sure. But if Tony tells him not to print it he won’t. He’s not in the business of exploitation no matter how much journalists are pushed in that direction.

Rhodey’s got that look on his face and Tony knows exactly what he’s thinking before he even says anything. “He’s a nice guy,” Tony says in Eddie’s defense.

“If you have to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Rhodey points out.

“Actually its more like if he has to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Tony says. “And he is. Nice, I mean.” He’s been talking to Eddie for weeks and he’s funny, if a little sharp on the criticism. And nothing has appeared in the newspaper he’s interning with for the summer and the stories he is attached to, which aren’t many and none by name, are usually well written and truth based. Tony fact checked them all and learned a surprising amount about mental health that Eddie had been happy to fill him in more on.

“You sure? Because, no offense, but you have a bad habit of seeing the best in people,” Rhodey says.

Maybe, but Tony shrugs. “Yeah, I’m sure. He treats me like a person,” he says and he knows that shouldn’t be something he thinks of as a good thing. But when you’re famous its hard to find people who don’t at some point ask for your autograph, or a picture, or information on some weird personal detail they have no right to. Eddie hasn’t asked for any of those things and he could directly profit off any of that information. Tony has only ever met one other budding reporter- or full blown reporter for that matter- who’s treated him like that. And Christine… he and Christine have a love hate relationship.

Rhodey sighs, eyes going soft for a moment. “Tones. That’s not special,” he murmurs but that’s because he’s not had to deal with fame. The last time he went out into public without someone recognizing him he was six. After all that he’s kind of used to people acting super weird around him and Eddie doesn’t do that. Maybe it shouldn’t be a rarity, but it is.

“To you, maybe,” Tony says. “You’d like him, he hates the cops.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes but its lovingly. “I don’t hate cops, I just think they’re racist and that people should really deal with that problem.”

Tony is inclined to agree. “Fine, but Eddie has many opinions on cops, you’d get along. Actually Eddie has many opinions on like everything.” Eddie said most people find his opinionated nature irritating but Tony thinks its interesting, hearing him talk because his opinions are so contrary to everything he hears. Even Rhodey, who certainly has different opinions than his father on near everything, tends to be more reserved in letting his opinions be known. Eddie doesn’t care, he gives no fucks and is happy to let people know how he feels. He’s got numbers, too, usually or at least some kind of basis for his argument and Tony has always been fascinated with things that are different than what he normally sees. Its interesting to look into a world that’s so unlike his and see something new. That difference in how people see things, that’s the key to changing the world.

Eddie had been surprised by that opinion but Tony is under the impression that thinking outside the box is what leads to innovation and innovation always leads to change. Eddie had been surprised by how unthreatened he was by that too, but Tony thinks fear of change is based on fear rather than fact and sometimes a push into the unknown is a good thing. And, in regards to Eddie’s general arguments on social change, they already know that people having rights won’t make the sky fall. Only idiots assume it will and Tony has almost as little patience for that as Eddie does. Which is impressive when he’s probably the most anti-establishment person Tony has ever met.

Rhodey sighs, “great, an opinionated white guy. Never met one of those before,” Rhodey mumbles.

“Hey, I’m an opinionated white guy,” Tony says and Rhodey shakes his head.

“Yeah, but you’re my opinionated white guy so it’s different.”

Eddie had no idea what he was looking for when he combed the interviews. Truth be told he wasn’t sure he was looking for anything at the time but what he found was his story. Its shocking to him that no one has told it, minus Tony, who seems to have been screaming it since he was a small child but he’s got it nonetheless. Its not like he’s never seen the evidence of abuse, Tony is fucking brazen and barely even makes an effort to hide it and after watching way too many interviews Eddie wonders if this is his new way to all but scream for help only to have his pleas fall on an audience that doesn’t give a shit.

Its amazing, in the most horrifying of ways, that out of every interview Tony has ever done, and that is a lot, he has mentioned his father’s abuse in over eighty percent of them. And its hard to watch reporters gloss over it, like Tony’s abuse is some fucking quirky trait Tony has instead of a serious problem he’s clearly trying to get help for. But what’s worse is when people laugh. The first time it happened Eddie had been outraged. The third time it happened he’d been livid, and by the fifteenth time he decided that America is probably the shittiest country on earth. An exaggeration, he knows, but not by fucking much.

For years, most of Tony’s life really, Tony has been screaming for help only to have nothing happen. Or worse, people decide its something, but that something is a joke. Only problem is that now Tony knows no one cares, and if no one cares what’s the point in saying anything no matter how much he’s done his best to scream at everyone that he needs help. It makes Eddie’s job harder, but he’s actually talented at this part, more than his peers, so he knows how to get to the right spot to find the information he wants. The catch, of course, is that Tony needs to give him permission to do anything with the information he gets anyways. He feels skeezy enough digging around in Tony’s life trying to find shit to write about, he’s not just going to publish it without his permission. Even if he didn’t genuinely like Tony as a person, even if he hadn’t wanted to, he’d still ask. He’s not totally morally bankrupt, just enough to do his job.

Tony is curled up in a chair, large bruise on his shoulder clearly visible, holding a cup of what Eddie assumes is coffee. He’s never met anyone who drinks as much coffee as Tony and Dan is in med school. His blood is basically coffee. “You do not seem like the kind of guy to be a journalist,” Tony says and Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you think that?” he asks. Its not the first time he’s been told that, but if Tony gives him an actual answer it will be the first time he’s ever gotten a genuine reason why.

He shrugs, “journalism is… I don’t know, kind of predatory,” he says, wrinkling his nose.

Eddie lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. Its the worst part of the job, actually, when you’re talking to people- usually about something personal- and they say something you know will look good in your article and you think ‘yeah, I got it!’ instead of being an actual person. That, and you have to ask for details instead of comforting them. But news is important, those stories are important. Me getting the right thing out there might mean people read what I wrote and start giving a shit about the problem in the article.” Doesn’t mean he likes that little reporter voice that tells him when he’s got a great quote, or that he’s stumbled onto something good and that he needs to keep digging. Sometimes he doesn’t care, corporations don’t have his sympathy, but people do. Its hard to ask for more details of what’s usually a pretty traumatic event so whatever he’s writing is sellable enough. And the whole notion of ‘sellable’ is another point of contention altogether.

“So you’re aware of the fact that you’re a vulture,” Tony says, raising an eyebrow.

“A vulture with a purpose,” Eddie corrects. “But yeah, the kind of reporters you deal with mostly are a bunch of bottom feeding pieces of shit who have no place in any kind of journalism with their shoddy ethics and pathetic puff pieces.” People who want to write stupid articles about some fucking laxative tea or whatever shouldn’t be in this business. And celebrity news shouldn’t even be a thing- there are better things to care about than Tony Cruise. Like maybe the fact that he’s in a cult and people play it off like a strange thing he does on the weekends. Eddie doesn’t understand how the hell they got here.

Tony lets out a small laugh. “Shit, tell me how you really feel,” he says, shaking his head.

“Well come on, there’s a million things I could write about you that are more interesting than the weirdly sexual image you have, and have had for years despite being an actual child. People don’t write anything interesting about you and you’re way more complicated that any piece of media makes you out to be.” Tony is always a power fantasy or the American Dream, not himself. And the sexual thing, that’s odd. Eddie usually only sees that with women but Tony got the short end of that stick despite gender, he guesses. Still creepy.

“Hey, excuse you, my eighteenth birthday is not that far away, I’m not a kid,” he says.

Eddie snorts, “that’s exactly what a kid would say.”

“Oh what, like you’re a shining example of an adult?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Fuck no, I’m two kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult,” he says. Which is what any self respecting adult his age would say. Not that he’s that much older than Tony, but he’s got enough experience to know he misses when he had no bills. And also that transitionary life phases fucking suck.

“Well, I probably have more life experience than you anyway,” Tony says, nose in the air and Eddie nods, seemingly surprising Tony.

“What? I didn’t graduate from MIT at fourteen, and I sure shit don’t have almost three PhDs. I’m half way through one degree. Plus I don’t have to deal with most of the shit you do, company or fame wise. Do wish had the financial perks though.” Tony leads one hell of a life of privilege no doubt, but it does come with some heavy prices. Being a minor doesn’t really help lighten any of those costs either. Not like Tony can just fuck off to another country to attempt ridding himself of his father, not for another four months.

Tony considers him for a long moment. “Given the chance what would you write about me?” he asks, changing the subject back to the initial subject.

Eddie doesn’t need much time to think about it. “Your interest in green energy, especially the science behind it. I mean an intellectual understanding- like the actual nitty gritty- is beyond me, but I get the broad strokes. Enough to know what you’re doing is world altering and no one is talking about it. I could do an article on fame, how that’s affected you. I can see the damage its left, the way you simultaneously gain privilege from your fame and become a victim of it.” He pauses, considers whether or not he wants to say it, but decides he might as well be up front. “But I’d probably wouldn’t write about you at all. I’d write about how Howard Stark abuses you and how no one seems to give a shit, even when you tell them point blank what’s happening. I watched a lot of interviews, I was shocked with how forthcoming you were. And how fucking bad at their jobs literally everyone who’s ever interviewed you is.”

For a long moment Tony just stares and Eddie has no idea if he misstepped or not because Tony is hard to read when he blanks out like this, but then Tony throws himself forward, hugging him tightly. “I honestly didn’t think anyone noticed that anymore,” he murmurs.

They do, Eddie knows people aren’t stupid enough to miss the bruises or Tony’s blasé attitude. But he doubts anyone either wants to stand up to Howard, or they get paid off by him. “They do. But money talks louder than you do,” he says softly.

Tony sighs. “Well, everyone does have a number,” he murmurs. Eddie knows what he means and honestly its sickening to him to know that’s true.

Tony waves a hand at the lab space with a flourish. “This is where the magic happens,” he says and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Its science, not magic you damn drama queen.” Tony is probably the most dramatic person he knows and that’s saying something considering some of his classmates.

“Party pooper,” Tony mumbles, shaking his head. Eddie gets a tour anyway though, and by the time Tony gets through the details he feels kind of like he walked into a science fiction novel. Its the AI, though, that tops it off. “JARVIS- or just a rather very intelligent system- is kind of my crown jewel. I got him done a few months ago and I’ve been studying how he learns,” he says, grinning.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Learns? Like a person?”

Tony shrugs, “more or less. His function is to be semi-autonomous, to predict the needs of the user before the user knows they need something. Before I know I need something, JARVIS has no commercial value.”

“Then why make it?” Eddie asks. He doesn’t know shit about shit but he does know that that sounds like a lot of work with seemingly no payoff.

“Because I wanted to. And also not a lot of people have the time, money, and intelligence to just… create. I want to see what I can do, the full extent of it. Also, JARVIS is cool,” he says like that’s a reason. “And he’s my PhD thesis.”

PhD thesis, that’s interesting. “So like… how are you going to make this sucker not turn into Skynet?” he asks.

“Oh my god, why do humans always assume AIs want to kill the shit out of them or otherwise take over the world? I had JARVIS read YouTube comment sections to convince him humanity is a shitshow not worth enslaving,” he says bluntly and Eddie starts laughing.

“YouTube comment sections? Dude, if I were that AI I wouldn’t decide to enslave humans, I’d straight up eradicate them. Humans suck, but comment sections? Those are the cesspools of humanity.” He shakes his head and almost feels bad for the AI having been subjected to that.

“I’m not certain my efforts would be worth it, sir,” a voice says and Eddie jumps.

Tony doubles over, laughing way harder than that warrants. “Holy shit, every single time- everyone always jumps!”

“Well I wasn’t expecting fancy code to talk at me, okay!” Eddie says in his own defense.

“Fancy code. I like that description,” JARVIS says and okay that is some messed up stuff. The SI likes things? He doesn’t like the sound of that.

“Jesus, relax. JARVIS isn’t going to like… steal your cat and murder your mother or whatever. He’s just a simple AI and he’s still on a learning curve. He’s not nearly as advance as I think he can get. But you’re learning alright, aren’t you J?” Tony asks the AI.

Shit, if that ain’t creepy too. “If you say so, sir,” JARVIS says. Its such a strangely human response, if a little stiffly delivered. But the AI has more personality than some people he goes to class with so that’s… disturbing.

“Honestly, people act like JARVIS is out to get them but seriously. He’s fine,” Tony says.

“Incoming call from Mrs. Potts,” JARVIS informs them and Eddie supposes that’s part of his ‘predict the needs of the user’ protocol. Or maybe he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, both are highly probable. Either way Tony scurries out of the room to answer the call, sounding forcefully cheery on the phone in a way that indicates he’s probably gotten into something he shouldn’t have.

“You’re a reporter,” JARVIS says and Eddie jumps again.

“Jesus, that is creepy. And yeah. Well, I’m still in school,” he corrects.

“Reporters write stories about celebrities,” the AI says and Eddie nods, keeping his opinions on that to himself. He doesn’t know if JARVIS would get it anyways. “I have a story,” JARVIS says and Eddie can’t help the laugh.

“What kind of story could an AI cook up?” he asks, curious if a little skeeved out.

“Ideally, abuse would be reported to the authorities but I have been reliably informed that they won’t investigate. Research on the matter has shown mixed results,” JARVIS says.

Well shit, creepy or not Eddie might find a genuine use for the AI. “I’m assuming you’re talking about Tony,” he says.

“Of course. Who else would I be referring to?” Could be a lot of people but he supposes that the AI’s world is pretty much one guy.

“Point, I guess. Can you collect evidence? Something people won’t be able to deny if they see it?” he asks. Video evidence would be nice, and people take snap shots of Tony in the streets all the time. He can use random pap shots to make a timeline that exist both in and out of Tony’s space of reach. Eliminates those pesky ‘he made it up for attention’ claims if even random people catch the bruises.

“Certainly,” the AI tells him. “And you can do something? Report on it?”

He sighs, “maybe. The human world is complicated, but I’ll do my best.”

Internships are total bunk, Eddie hates his, but funny memes from Tony at least make his days less shit given the sheer amount of time he spends hanging out in Starbucks fetching drinks instead of doing anything useful. Its not like he expected to write anything, but it would be nice if he got to at least hang out in the general vicinity of reporting. He’s fucking around wasting time when he gets an email that makes him raise an eyebrow but hey, if he gets a virus clicking on shit Tony will be able to fix it probably.

The last thing he expects is for JARVIS to have sent him hours worth of curated videos of Howard’s abuse.

“I have an ethical dilemma,” he tells Anne, who already looks done with his problems. He thinks that’s rude but she’s also into being a corporate lawyer and gross. But she’s still a friend, and she still knows him better than most, and usually has good advice so here he is.

“If this is about how ramen you eat again, I’m kicking you out of the apartment.”

Yeah, okay, that was only one time and he was fourteen. He doesn’t think that should be held against him five years later. “Yeah, um, that’s definitely not it,” he says and he explains the situation from start to finish. “So like, I can’t not say anything, but also its gross to exploit people’s pain like that without their permission,” he says, wrinkling his nose. But saying nothing is almost worse.

“You could just go to the cops,” Dan suggests, ever astute.

Eddie gives him a look. “Tony’s been forthcoming about his abuse for years and doesn’t hide the bruises whatsoever. Obviously the cops aren’t going to do dick all if they haven’t done anything already. I know people who’ve had their kids taken away for a hell of a lot less than beating the hell out of them enough that they start asking random reporters to help them in interviews only to get laughed off.” Anne frowns and he sighs, “I’m actually serious about that.”

When she calls him on it he finds the interviews- he’d saved the clips because he naturally categorizes details- and she ends up as horrified as he does. “Okay I take back cops comment, I think maybe they got paid off,” Dan says and yeah no shit.

“So what the hell do I do here?” Not saying anything is no longer an option- not when he was dumb enough to watch the proof in the middle of his day at work only to end up wildly disturbed for the rest of the time he was there. He hadn’t much wanted to go through more than the few minutes that had him feeling gross for the rest of the day, but he didn’t have much of a choice either. And JARVIS was detailed in his curation, Eddie is impressed in the worst of ways.

This is so not the option he wanted to go with but Anne is kind of right in that talking to Tony is the only option. Of course its also the option that reveals him to be a gross vulture reporter, but a guy has to do what a guy has to do. This isn’t about his feelings, it can’t be. “What’s got you looking so shitty?” Tony asks in a chipper tone, leaning in to hug him and oh, that’s sweet. And the first time he’s done that aside from the time he said he’d sooner write about Howard than Tony.

“I um- look, the only reason I talked to you a couple months ago was because I needed a story and I found one and-” Tony cuts him off.

“Excuse me? So what, this entire time you sat around winning my trust for what, some fucking puff piece?” he snaps and Eddie can’t help the face he makes.

“No, your fucking AI sent me like sixty hours of Howard beating the fuck out of you and I can’t sit on that. Stop looking at me like that, its not because I think its a good story- it is- but that’s not why I think I should write something on it its because no one else but the American public will care enough to inspire some kind of change,” he says, shoving as many words into the conversation as he can before Tony rightfully eats his ass.

Something must occur to Tony because the anger drops shockingly fast and its replaced with something else. “JARVIS did what? Why would he do that?”

“Look, he asked me if I could do something, I told him I’d need concrete evidence. I didn’t expect the damn AI to send me a shit ton of fucked up shit that made me want to vomit. Seriously, I am so sorry that any of that happened to you. That is so unfair,” he says, shaking his head.

Maybe its the sudden change of subject, or maybe its the way he says it, but Tony softens a bit even if Eddie can see the suspicion still held tight in his frame. “JARVIS prompted you,” he says and Eddie nods. “You seriously expect me to believe that?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know how the damn AI works I just know what it did. Isn’t he supposed to predict your needs or whatever?” This seems like a natural extension of that but Tony shakes his head.

“What JARVIS predicts is where to move screens according to where I’m moving in the lab, not how to reach out to reporters with evidence of abuse I specifically told him to keep to himself,” Tony says. “One is basic technological based, stuff that’s easily predictable. The other is a care action that shouldn’t be taken by an AI that doesn’t know how to do that.”

“Well clearly he does because I sure shit ain’t smart enough to hack your systems to find fucked up home videos, use your damn head Tony. There’s no way I could gather evidence like that straight from your systems. Even if I was the best in this country I would still be leagues behind what you can do- there’s no other way I could have found anything.”

“You noticed the bruises,” he points out but Eddie shakes his head.

“Those bruises were written off years ago when you were like thirteen as some kind of quirky thing about you. Some idiot suspected low iron instead of abuse like low iron leaves hand prints on people’s bodies. Fucking moron,” he mumbles, unable to hold back his judgment. He honestly can’t believe how stupid people are. Or, and this is the more horrifying option, that’s what they were paid to print.

“You made a time line,” Tony states rather than asks and Eddie nods.

“Even if I had no interest in a story its naturally something I do. I’ve been trained to do that, literally.” Its something he did before too, putting together time lines to claims to see if things matched up or deviated, and then looked for reasons as to why things might or might not match. Not that Tony really cares about that right now. “Look, if you don’t believe me about the JARVIS thing you can check the cameras,” he points out in an attempt to at least clear up one mess.

Tony considers him for a long moment, glaring. “And what the fuck makes you think you’re different than anyone else who’s given a half a shit about any of this?” he asks. “I get that you have some ‘save the world’ complex, but I’m beyond saving.”

Eddie shakes his head, “no you aren’t. And there’s no real difference between me an anyone else. But if the American public sees what I did there’s no stuffing the genie back in the bottle. Howard can pay off news crews, celebrity gossip rags, and cops but he can’t buy his way out of the whole of this country watching him abuse his kid. If nothing else, get JARVIS to release all that. People won’t ignore irrefutable evidence shoved down their throats, not when its more explicit than anything people have seen before.” And if Eddie knows anything he knows that nothing sells better than outrage porn.

Tony ends up rewriting the entire second half of his thesis because Eddie had a point- its not like he’s smart enough to hack Tony’s anything. JARVIS had reached out and it had been a distinctly care based action, not something based in technological need only. Which means that JARVIS learned much faster than Tony had anticipates, recognized right from wrong, knew how to seek out people who would rectify the situation, and did all this while intentionally hiding this learning capability from Tony. When he’d asked about it JARVIS had freely informed him that he knew Tony would try and stop him, and that his research had consistently shown that abuse of any kind is not accepted behavior. He felt compelled, in whatever way that looks like to an AI- Tony is looking into it- to do something.

At the moment he’s combing JARVIS’ code, figuring out where and how he learned, and how ‘human’ emotions appeared in JARVIS’ code. Obviously the emotions aren’t human- to a point they’re rudimentary, based on a large cumulation of research on human norms and standards of acceptability rather than an internal sense of right and wrong the way a human might claim to feel it. But this whole thing had been a series of care-based actions nonetheless and that’s more than ground breaking. This isn’t something even Tony thought possible, so its a real treat to see that JARVIS learns fast, and generally aligns his morality system with human morality systems. Or maybe he’s based them somewhat off Tony’s given that he’s the primary user. He’s not sure, that’s in his growing list of things to figure out how JARVIS did.

That’s what he chooses to focus on instead of Eddie’s stupid article. He sends regular updates, seemingly concerned with Tony’s opinion but Tony learned that reporters aren’t to be trusted and he’s not making that mistake twice. He only gave Eddie permission to write anything out of what’s probably a misguided hope that maybe someone will finally do something and he knows its stupid, but he’s fucking tired of living like this. So he lets Eddie work on his dumb story and mostly ignores it because JARVIS is more interesting and also more human than Tony ever anticipated out of the AI.

Rhodey finds him curled up with a sketch pad and Tony looks up, surprised to see Rhodey looks so somber. “I read the article,” he says and Tony glares at him. “Tones, it was good, shockingly so. His research was impeccable- there’s stuff in here that he figured out about you that I didn’t know about you.”

Tony continues ignoring him because he doesn’t care, not really. Of course Rhodey would find the article good, he’s obviously not on Howard’s side like literally everyone else is. Rhodey sighs and sits beside him.

“‘Tony Stark is living a life of power, fame, and privilege- he’s the kid people have always pointed to when we present the ‘has it all’ lifestyle. In many ways Tony Stark is the power fantasy of America- a corporate, a genius, and a smooth talker, it seems he represents everything we aspire to be. Tony is the living embodiment of the American Dream and for that reason, our own willful ignorance in allowing him to continue to be our dreams come to life, we have missed perhaps one of the most obvious details of Tony’s personal life- the abuse he suffers at the hands of his father. In our rabid need to turn Tony Stark into our living day dream we have failed him, trapped him in our fantasies instead of acknowledging his living nightmare because Tony Stark looks better to us as a consumable product than a person.’ Cutting,” Rhodey says, “but accurate.”

He rolls his eyes. Yeah, that definitely reads like Eddie’s general tone on everything. Rhodey lets out another long sigh. “Look, I get why you stopped talking to the guy but people are pissed,” he says and Tony turns to face him, surprised.

“People actually read the article?” he asks. He doesn’t address Rhodey’s actual words because Rhodey might have only noticed a subsection of people, not all of them.

“Read it? Like seven different news papers have picked this story up, its trending on Twitter, and in the last hour I’ve seen dozen of different posts, all with a huge amount of shares, literally calling for Howard’s death. I’m pretty sure this is going to make Eddie’s career,” he says, shaking his head.

People… are paying attention. Tony curls a little tighter into himself, unsure how to handle that.

Eddie is trying to cure his hangover with tea when Tony finds him, approaching with some suspicion and Eddie gets that, really. But he sits down across from him at the small table and offers a small smile before it fades. “Didn’t think putting Howard would result in a mass flood of men doing terrible shit being outted and then arrested for being pieces of shit but um. Hey, that’s a cool side effect,” he says.

He nods, “damn right.” Though the response back to it has been somewhat swift, flying in with ‘due process’ this and ‘where’s the proof’ that. Eddie just happened to have a damn air tight set of evidence thanks to Howard’s ballsy carelessness and arrogance. Not everyone has that luck, though. Still, he’s impressed with some of the names on the list but even he’d been surprised to find Carlton Drake on there for the crimes of illegal human experimentation. Dora Skirth has balls of brass for putting that out there. Of course he has a lot of loud annoying fans who think her liking some random rock band is a reason why she’s lying, because those things correlate, obviously, but still.

“You made people listen. Like, to more than just me,” Tony says.

Eddie shakes his head, “actually that was JARVIS. I just wrote a detailed timeline for the events he sent proof of.” And all those clips of Tony talking in interviews too, with nothing taken out of context so no one could accuse him of that either.

“Thank you,” Tony murmurs, looking down at the table like he’s ashamed or something when he shouldn’t be.

“Don’t thank people for doing what’s right- you deserve better than being grateful that someone did what was necessary,” Eddie says, shaking his head.

Tony looks up, “one of the maids at the mansion overheard Howard offer you a stupid amount of money to not print what you had. And a bunch of threats. Every single person before you has caved so yeah, thank you.”

Its still not something he’s going to accept, a fucking thank you for not selling Tony out. Literally. He leans forward, “obviously I didn’t take the money- you’re a fucking person Tony, there’s no price anyone could pay me to knowingly allow that kind of abuse to happen to you. And the threats- whatever. I kind of bluffed and told him your AI would release anything anyways, but still, I already knew all that would happen. I committed to the bullshit that was going to come with that story, and I refuse to let you be grateful that I did what everyone else failed you in doing. That isn’t something I’m owed thanks for, especially when you’re only saying it because everyone else has either treated you or allowed you to be treated abysmally. I don’t get to earn brownie points for not being a piece of shit.”

That’s never something he’s going to accept, being thanked because he did something everyone should do. It’s unacceptable.

Tony shakes his head. “You’re a right-fighting asshole,” he says and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that’s a fair criticism,” he says.

Five Years Later:

Tony grins, “I thought you didn’t want to be famous,” he says and Eddie gives him a look. He looks nervous as hell and Tony can only hope that doesn’t come through as strong on video as it does in real life.

“I don’t, this was a terrible idea,” he says, looking around for escape.

He sighs, “Eddie- technically you’ve done this before. Its the same thing as reporting, but longer. You’ll do fine,” he says, running his hands down Eddie’s arms to try and calm his nerves.

Eddie does that thing where his face recedes into his neck and Tony really hopes he doesn’t do that on camera. He supposes at least the crew can do different takes to ensure he doesn’t look like a demented turtle. “Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Eddie. Its called the Eddie Brock Show- go out there and get your strangely porn-star like lips on that damn camera and tell people who homelessness is bad. Also maybe cut the line about treating supporting vets like a spectator sport until they’re homeless, that’s a pointy even for you,” he says.

The bad advice works and Eddie gives him an offended look, “no, those assholes should learn to either shut their fucking mouths of actually do shit to support vets, not pretend like they give a shit when they’re being blown up and stop caring when they’re home with PTSD because they watched people get blown up. What the hell even is that?” he asks.

“Tell it to the camera,” he says, pushing Eddie towards the set. He goes and across the room the producer looks relieved. Yeah, Tony gets that, Eddie is tough to talk into things when nervous.

Rhodey walks up beside him and smiles a little. “Pepper and I have decided that we approve,” he says and Tony frowns.

“We’ve been together for almost five years,” he points out.

This doesn’t seem to bother Rhodey any. “We needed time to gather our data and we have come to the conclusion that he is off probation and that we approve,” he says, handing Tony a book. He frowns at it. “That’s the list of improvements we have though. I think section three is the most important, but Pepper thinks section eighteen is more important. What the hell does she know, though? I’m cashing in best friend points and telling you to go with three first.”

Tony is going with neither because this is fucking overkill to an extreme not that he’d expect anything less out of Pepper and Rhodey. The first thing they did when Tony brought Eddie home proper was threaten to kill him and Tony had to shoo them off with what should be an obvious explanation that threatening to kill people is fucked up.

“Pepper is also my best friend you know,” Tony points out.

“Yeah, but I’m the best best friend,” Rhodey says. “The OG. Pepper is the compliments version of me.”

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “oh, I would pay money to hear you tell her that.”

Rhodey shakes his head, “nope, I value my life, do not ever tell her I said that. Section three,” he says, pushing the book closer to Tony.

#tony stark/ eddie brock #alternate universe #fanfiction

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travelingtarot · 6 years

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TAROT THE WEEK!!!

Weekly Psychic Forecasts Every Monday Morning To Help Guide You Through Your Week!

Week Of July 30th – Aug 5th 2018

Card: Ace of Wands (R)

Quick Analysis: When the Ace of Wands is in the reversed position it usually means something is holding us back from starting fresh, starting anew. We have a goal in mind. We see the starting line just ahead. But for some reason we can’t seem to step up to the starting line. Because of that our dreams, plans, goals and aspirations for ourselves keep getting pushed away.

And the most frustrating thing of all is the starting line has not moved at all. It’s still right there where it’s always been. It’s we who have moved away. Through reasoning, some legitimate some not, we have slowly inched ourselves further and further away from what we want.

We’re busy. I get it. We must take care of our partners, our immediate families and sometimes our extended families. We must get our kids to school and then to the million and one extracurricular activities they have before and after school. Then we must make sure they’re doing their homework and try our best to help them with it and the various school projects they have going on.

Then we have to check in with our partners and make sure they’re still breathing. If we’re wise, we take out quality time each week to spend just with them. But then that requires planning and doing. We have to make sure the passion for not just our families stays alive, but the passion between our partners and ourselves as well.

Our parents aren’t getting any younger. And while they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, you see a day not too far away where they will be leaning on you more and more. In fact, in small subtle ways that leaning in has already begun.

Then our friends, associates, colleagues, and communities all require our attention to a certain degree.

We swear we will make time for ourselves and our dreams. We swear next week, next month, next year will be our time. But next week, month and year never do come, do they? We only have right now because right now is the only thing promised to us. And even if there was a next week, month or year what are we doing now to carve out time for ourselves? I’ve heard it said, “Luck is preparation meets opportunity.” What are we doing to prepare ourselves for the opportunity at hand? Like I said, the starting line has not moved one inch. What are we doing to prepare ourselves right this minute for when we finally step up to that starting line?

It’s so important to not forget self amongst the million and one things we’re called to do in any given day. We simply must take time for ourselves. Even if it’s 20 minutes a day, we must force ourselves to put ourselves first for those precious 20 minutes. Yes, for most of us that goes against our very nature to put ourselves first. Even for 20 minutes. But if we don’t, we’ll never be prepared once we finally make the choice to step up to the starting line.

In-Depth Analysis: Let’s talk about fear. Specifically, the fear of success. Yes, the fear of success is actually a real thing. The fear of success can be a WAY harder concept for us to wrap our heads around because we’re always talking about the fear of failure. But the fear of success affects people in as profound a way as any of our other fears, including failure. So what is the fear of success? Let’s get into it:

The straight forward answer to that question is when you are so afraid of success you’ll do anything not to attain it. For most of us that seems incredibly counterintuitive. Especially in the western world where it seems our whole identity is hinged upon how successful we are. (And how young and beautiful we are, but that’s another story.) In fact, how successful we are, at least in the Western world, is a rote topic of conversation. Think about it. The last time you were in a setting where you’re being introduced to brand new people, how often were you asked what you do for a living? And once you said what you do, did it not lead to more easy conversation-like questioning about the specifics of what you do? It happens all the time.

(Side note: In my weird little mind I think it would be HILARIOUS if the next time someone asks “What do you do for a living?” to answer “I live off the tax-paying dollars of other hardworking people.” Or “I am PHENOMENAL in bed. So much so my boyfriend/girlfriend pays my way through life. I get to stay home, look pretty and fuck like a champion!” Or “I’m a panhandler. You can find me selling fruit every day on the exit 121 off-ramp. Stop by! I’ll give you a deal on half-rotten tomatoes!” That would be SO FUNNY!!! Of course, I don’t have the balls to pull that off in public, but I bet you do! Enough with the shenanigans! Back to this week’s lesson.)

And we are constantly bombarded with images of successful people in all media. Rarely do you see people in television or print ads that are unsuccessful. Rarely do you see people who are down on their luck and can’t catch a break. And if you do, by the end of the commercial, tv show or movie, they’ve found the “secret sauce” to success and are wildly successful. It seems we as Westerners are all about finding that “secret sauce” to success and then ball out of control for the rest of our lives. To fear success seems out of the ordinary to us.

Therefore, if that’s true, if the fear of success is so foreign to the minds of most westerners, is it really all that commonplace? Well in my research for this blog I found it to be MUCH more commonplace than I could have imagined. Just a quick Google search on "fear of success" and article after article and page after page of information about it is at our fingertips. Clearly, it's a problem that a lot of people have to contend with.

So what are the warning signs you may be experiencing the fear of success? Well a few include:

 You don’t complete your projects (this could be at work or at home).

 You talk about what you are going to do more than what you actually do.

 You work furiously on several projects at once, not really focusing deeply on any one of them.

 You still have exactly the same things on your vision board that were there five years ago.

 You procrastinate.

 You second-guess yourself often.

 Distraction is your middle name.

 You don’t think your work is ever quite good enough.

 You’re on the verge of ‘success’ and things start going really wrong.

Do any of these things apply to you?

In my research I found a man by the name of Professor Frank Manuel who studied the fear of success. Professor Manuel suggested the term “Jonah complex” - named for the character Jonah from the Bible - for people who have a fear of success. If you don’t know the story of Jonah, you can find it in its entirety in the book of – wait for it! – Jonah. At only 4 chapters long it’s one of the shorter books in the Bible. If you’ve never read it, I encourage you to do so. It’s a fascinating character study. And if you have read it, reacquaint yourself with it. It’s a really fascinating story. Only a few Bible chapters long. And it’s a good read. So find it and read it and draw your own conclusions about it.

Anyway, Professor Manuel’s colleague Abraham Maslow came up with the etymology of the word. In short he stated: “The Jonah complex is the fear of success which prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one's potential. It is the fear of one's own greatness, the evasion of one's destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one's talents. Just as the fear of achieving a personal worst can motivate personal growth, the fear of achieving a personal best can also hinder achievement,”

There is another layer to the fear of success. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that the road to success involves risks such as "getting one's hopes up" - which threatens to lead to disappointment. And many of us-especially if we've been subject to verbal abuse-have been told we were losers our whole lives, in one way or another. We have internalized that feedback and feel that we don't deserve success.

There are probably a lot of deeper layers underneath the two I mentioned. I encourage us all to look deep inside ourselves. And if the fear of success is holding us back I encourage us to find out the underlying reasons why. Because only in doing the work to figure out the core reasons behind that fear of success will we be able to then do the work necessary to fix the problem and move forward. The Ace of Wands is waiting for us. That starting line is right there where it’s always been. I will leave you with this famous quote from the incomparable Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Bottom Line: Fear is a powerful emotion. It was given us as a tool for action. The misuse of fear is to become paralyzed by it. I’ve often heard it said courage is being scared shitless but doing it anyway. It’s tough to unpack the reasons why we are afraid. It’s a hard journey to peel back the layers within our psyche to get to the root of our problems. I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard work. But we are SO worth the trouble! We are worth the time and energy, blood sweat and tears we must expend to shed those things within us that are no longer serving us. Imagine a life without fear that holds us back from the good stuff! Imagine valuing ourselves and what we have to offer this world enough to be bold, be strong, to be scared shitless but having the self-worth that we do it anyway. If we can imagine ourselves being that type of person, we can do it. There’s nothing our mind can imagine that we can’t make happen. I encourage us to take the steps necessary to rid ourselves of the fears that are holding us back. You can thank me later.

Have a FANTASTIC week, everybody!

Be Blessed.

Song Of The Week: Zach Williams “Fear Is A Liar”

For more information and to book a psychic reading with me, click HERE

For more information on the card used for this week’s reading click HERE

#psychic #psychic reading #tarot #tarot cards #tarot card reading #ace of wands #fear #fear of success #advice #weekly #forecast

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signurture · 7 years

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Kat Edison Personality/Zodiac Analysis

Ok, here we go: to the anon that asked why I think Kat is a scorpio

In all honesty tho you can relate to multiple signs if you really try.

Nonetheless, I think theres multiple aspects of Kat Edison’s personality that point towards her being a Scorpio. I’ll separate this into strengths, weaknesses, and “other personality traits” of scorpios and how Kat fits in w/ them. I’ll be providing examples from her relationship with her friends to her relationship with Adena.

Strengths

Bravery - Every episode we are told of how brave she is. From the very first episode where she wasn’t shy to speak up during a meeting when asking about the cancellation of the lesbian muslim article. In that same episode, Sutton calls her confident. In 1x04, at Adena’s gallery, Jane say’s she wishes she was as brave as Kat. You can just tell that she isn’t afraid to fight more what she wants and believes in.

Passionate/Determination - This one is pretty obvious. Kat is very passionate about her work. We can see that in every project she takes on. She went after the muslim story even after her boss said to drop it. She spoke out about the sexism in VR headsets and when she received backlash, she went out of her way to make an ad about cyberbullying. Kat is always giving all she has into what she does and doesn’t expect to fail. That same episode (1x03) where she walked out when giving a pitch to the board bc someone leaked her nude, remember she was ready to walk right back in bc she knew she could fix it.

Leadership - Kat is a leader. She is the Social Media Director for Scarlet. This one doesn't really need an explanation. She enjoys being in charge and takes that responsibility with ease. It comes natural to her.

Weaknesses

Obsessive - Ok, Kat has a very obsessive personality. I already touched on it a little earlier. we can see it in how she didn’t give up on Adena’s lesbian muslim story even though she was turned down by not only Jacq but Adena herself. In episode 3, we see her obsessing over her phone/twitter when she receives all the backlash. In episode 5, she’s obsessing over her impact on Adena and Coco’s relationship. She even admitted to stalking Coco’s Facebook(?) and we see her stop in the middle of the side walk to check Coco’s instagram. There’s other examples but you get the point.

Impulsive - Kat shows signs of this behavior a couple of times. A lot of the time she talks before she thinks and it gets her in trouble. We’ve seen it in the first episode in the subway when she snaps at Sutton. She does it when Adena gets detained and she almost starts a hashtag to free Adena until she’s stopped by Lauren. We really see it in episode 4 and 5. in 4, Kat was quick to punch the man that was being racist to Adena. In episode 5, she’s quick to call things off with Adena.

Jealousy - Now this one is a bit harder to notice. Episode 5 is where i believe we really see it. I think we might see it more in the next episode? Maybe, maybe not. But in 1x05, she is clearly jealous of Adena and Coco’s relationship. Despite Adena choosing her, she still envy’s how Coco and Adena had a deep history. We hear it when she talks about how Coco and Adena have done all these incredible things together and when she says “not all of them bad” referring to the 3 years Adena spent with Coco. This one is harder to dictate bc it has more so to do with relationships and we haven't seen Kat in one to even get jealous. I do think that her stalking Coco’s social media and telling Adena to go back to her “beautiful, successful, certified lesbian girlfriend” was partly jealousy. We’ll see how Kat reacts to Adena going back to Paris tho.

Other Aspects of Kat’s Personality (these don't really fit in the good/bad list)

Independence - It’s pretty clear Kat is an independent woman. She works alone, lives alone, and has never been in a relationship. So she enjoys her independence. In episode 3, she says herself that the only phone number she knows in Scarlet’s. She really doesn't seem to have any other friends other than Sutton and Jane. She doesn’t do relationships. It was hinted that her relationship with her family isn’t that close either.

Secretive/Emotional - Just like scorpios, Kat is very emotional but can hide it very well. She tries put on a mask to hide how she truly feels. In episode 3, she tries to act like the hate tweets don’t affect her at all. Multiple times in her interactions with Adena, she tries to hide how she really feels about her. Her emotions go to the extreme. I mean she goes from being confessing her feelings to Adena in the middle of the night to being completely cold, telling Adena to leave her workplace bc she can't do relationships then back to running to Adena’s apartment to tell her she wants to be in a relationship. Kat is all over the place lol. Understandably, considering her situation and personality.

Misunderstood - Funny how this lines up perfectly with Kat. I’ve researched scorpios and it always (!!!) comes back to this word multiple times. Scorpio’s are difficult to understand and always have more going on in their head/heart than they seem to express. This really doesn’t need any further explanation bc Kat literally sent Adena a picture of herself holding up a sign that says “Misunderstood”.

Sex - This one is easy. Its no secret that scorpios are the most sexually driven signs. Kat has said that she enjoys sex and sticks to just that when it comes to relationships. She enjoys and prefers a physical relationship. She's very comfortable with that part of herself.

Controlling/Protective - This one can go hand in hand with the leadership but here I’m magnifying her controlling nature with Adena. When I say controlling I don't mean it in a negative form. It’s more of a dominance. I’ll point out two instances. The first being in 1x04 where she punches the guy who insulted Adena. Her first reaction is to always protect Adena. as said before, she was impulsive in this act, admitting it in the taxi cab ride with Jacq. The second instance(s) is when she's kissing Adena. In both cases she's the one directing. She's the one in control. In the 1x04 Kat is the one that intensifies the kiss and moves Adena’s hand to her waist. In the 1x05 kiss, Kat is the one that holds the back of Adena’s neck. She always leading as far as we’ve seen.

That pretty much wraps it up. Do you think she’s a Scorpio? Did I just waste my time for no reason? Am I Kadena trash? Let me know :))))

**This is obviously all just speculation and opinion since we don't know Kat’s birth date. From what I analyzed, I’m getting Scorpio vibes all the way. Hopefully TBT creators follow horoscopes lol. Please let me know if I missed anything or you feel that something is inaccurate. Comments/discussion is always welcomed <3 If i could make gifs i would've to make it more interesting but I'm a talentless hoe**

#This took hours #and i had way too much fun doing this #kat edison #adena el amin #kadena #the bold type #wlw #zodiac #scorpio #horoscope #mine #analysis

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deskcoin64-blog · 5 years

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John Paxson and Gar Forman had yet another disastrous media day following the Otto Porter trade

The Bulls quickly lost any fleeting goodwill they gained in the Otto Porter trade by opening their mouths.

The trade, given the context of the team’s current standing, was defensible. Even if said context allowing for this move to make sense just pointed towards more reasons why they should be fired, in a vacuum (sucking out the life of every Bulls fan) it’s ‘fine’.

But then John Paxson and Gar Forman spoke to the media. And the reporters there did great work in questioning GarPax on their many failures and any changes they will make due to them. The whole thing is linked below, but sorry to spoil the ending: the answer is ‘nah’: they offered no introspection or analysis suggesting anything was even wrong, let alone something that required change in process or management.

Later in the afternoon, Paxson - who would up dominating the presser quickly after giving the first answer to Gar - went on the Bulls radio flagship 670 The Score and was questioned further by hosts Danny Parkins and Dan McNeil.

It’s a lot of GarPax for one sitting, so without further ado...

in no particular order:

John Paxson had a public meltdown over his inability to sign stars

It was building up throughout the Parkins and McNeil interview, where they were asking Paxson about how he and the team are perceived, and why it made them effectively opt out of signing free agents this summer.

Paxson both said that perception doesn’t matter (oh, no...) AND that he doesn’t believe that perception actually exists. But if it did exist, that it was actually ‘misinformation’ that was driving it and that’s our fault not theirs.

Just listen to this, at one point he called media availability “an interrogation”! He made weird comparisons to the Chicago Bears! This is the lead basketball decision-maker for the franchise!

(video above, direct link here)

If Parkins wanted to troll here, he had every right to instruct Paxson to ‘be specific about this misinformation’ since Pax was going with that tactic constantly throughout the interview. When being confronted simply with “well, Anthony Davis?”, Paxson said he basically didn’t believe it was due to the franchise.

Paxson then self-owned by saying they can’t even get in the room, let alone be turned down:

“Until you get an opportunity to get in front of people then how do you know how they feel about you?”

(Yet another weird example of Paxson wanting to be told to his face he sucks)

Paxson further got up in arms when referencing a fan protest (I thought he didn’t pay attention to this stuff?), and when asked about his Christmas day interview where he suggested this would be his last rebuild if it didn’t work , he not only said that wasn’t true but used this as an example of the media running with things that he meant tongue-in-cheek. There was a bit in there about “maybe it’s true” but overall, nope: we don’t even have that glimmer of hope that there will be actual accountability from ownership, Pax was just jokin’ around.

My Coach, My Philosophy - is Jim friggin’ Boylen

Maybe the worst ‘news’ of the day was Paxson’s continued backing of meatslab-with-a-whistle-lanyard Jim Boylen as a non-interim head coach.

When asked what exactly is it Boylen does around here, here was Paxson.

When you’re in it every day with someone, you find out who they are. And one thing we’re really pleased about and we talk to Jim about this because we’re such a young team, is just the teaching component of the game to our guys consistently every day. That first week with the whole Boston game (a 56-point loss) and that was a bad way to start, but when you’re in it with him every day you see his passion, his commitment, and the care he has for his players and our organization. So we feel he’s doing the right things. He’s trying to get our guys to understand what being a professional is, and to play hard every night and practice hard every day. So we’re doing fine with Jim. Jim’s been great in terms of communicating every single day. We’re on a good page there.

A question I have is whether ‘teaching’ really is the most important thing here for the HEAD coach, and if so why they have so little in terms of assistant coaches and veterans on the roster. They mentioned the need this summer to use free agency to add ‘the right veterans’, yet also said that was important last summer and they didn’t but that wasn’t a mistake (they did concede it was ‘a challenge’).

Later on the radio interview he was followed up with in particular about ‘that whole Boston game’, and bristled (!) at the terminology that it was a ‘near mutiny’. And no he didn’t say “there was no ‘near’, it was a mutiny” he instead diminished it as “just a little miscommunication”.

It got heated further when asked about the players contacting the union, as Paxson was yelling FAKE NEWS (not literally, but still ugh) because “we were told by the league they were never contacted by the union”. That’s not the same thing as the players contacting the union!

In the press conference Paxson answered this when it came to Zach LaVine calling out Boylen.

“I’m not going to get into day-to-day personal things,” Paxson said. “I know Zach is an incredibly talented player. Jim is an incredibly competitive coach and person. We need Zach. He’s got a unique ability to score. Coach-player relationship can be difficult on any level. I played for the greatest coach of all time, and sometimes relationships with players for him were not always smooth. That’s not to say there’s anything going on with Zach and Jim.

So yet again: this doesn’t matter, and actually it isn’t even real.

And it’s one thing to ask for Paxson to trash his hand-picked coach, but how about simply saying that things haven’t gone well, and you’re evaluating? He had no problem saying that when it came to Kris Dunn. But Boylen is apparently way safer, and Paxson confirmed the plan as it stands now is for Boylen to be coaching the Bulls next season. Luckily for us Paxson is a liar and changes his plans all the time?

Paxson defended the coaching instability and his “number of rebuilds” in general in the radio hit, not realizing that in the cases he cited - like other Central Division teams having higher coaching turnover(?)- nearly all other franchises typically have more than zero regime changes over 16 years when not competing for championships.

Essentially, all Paxson has when he’s defending Boylen is saying that Boylen’s doing stuff that we can’t see. Because even he admits that it’s not carrying over to games and the actual results fans have to analyze are all poor.

He made a point to go with this statement:

We can’t control perception. I’ll say this again: The only people who really know are those of us in the building

The Jabari Parker signing wasn’t a mistake, it actually turned out well

This was expected, where Gar Forman said that signing Jabari Parker actually ‘worked out well for us’ because they could use the expiring contract to get Porter.

Obviously horseshit rationalizing, but even worse was their quick dismissal of the signing being a mistake. It was short term, a “roll of the dice”, and sometimes it doesn’t work out.

They were rightly questioned (by Joe Cowley) as to their scouting process when it came to determining Parker’s fit on the roster, and GarPax both took this totally normally.... Kidding, they viewed it as a personal attack on their old-ass (sorry, ‘veteran’) scouting team and owned it as Gar and Pax’s decision, ‘their scouting process’ is fine. What?

They still have no idea how to value 2nd round picks

I mean, this hypocrisy is as clear as day:

Then later they were questioned (this time by Darnell Mayberry) about why they were the ones sending a 2nd round pick in this Porter trade even though they were helping the Wizards out of the luxury tax (and removing a ton of future money too).

Of course Paxson led with “it’s very easy to sit there and criticize” and Gar Forman literally asked for examples of teams getting picks for taking on money - whoa boy- and then talked out both sides of his mouth saying that the Wizards needed to shed money but they also had to send them a pick to help them shed money elsewhere. And then whatever this means:

“We do things that if we feel we have to make a deal or want to make a deal and that’s what it takes, we’re going to do it. And that’s what we did yesterday.”

Paxson has a new job circumstance to whine about: the buyout market

Yes, the executive who can’t tell you fast enough how difficult (and difficult to understand) everything is, now took a shot at the NBA’s buyout market:

“I know there’s a lot of talk and rumor around the league about buyouts,” Paxson said. ”We have not spoken about that. Internally as an organization, the discussions we have had center around the whole buyout process in general, and in a lot of ways, it hurts the trade market when there’s all this belief that guys are going to be bought out. I certainly think it hurt us in this case. So we are not committed to anything right now.

When pressed by KC Johnson about Robin Lopez in particular being a ‘good soldier’ while the ultra-competitor was instructing his team to lose games, Paxson said ‘players should honor their contracts’.

Gar Forman - dynamic informed executive

I can’t believe this guy can’t help convince NBA stars to play for his team:

But ok maybe he’s more of a details man....

Ok but maybe he at least empathizes with his customers in a reasonable way

oh.

Being so insular fuels their own wrong ‘perception’

This is really important - the Bulls can’t self-scout or realize where they stand in the league. They cited themselves as being ‘in the beginning of their rebuild’ and not being ready yet - but didn’t they go into this season thinking they would be?

They did mention “the optimism” they had before the injuries early in the year. But the outside said they weren’t actually going to be good - remember the Vegas line?

So what happened according to Paxson?

“This year it’s been more painful than we thought, given when we started healthy and excited on Day 1.”

“Those things have changed over time. And when our guys have been together, candidly, we probably haven’t played at the level you would hope. But with that said, over the last two to three weeks, we’re seeing some signs. We’re not winning games, but we’re seeing signs of offensive improvement, which is good.”

So instead of trying to reflect in maybe thinking their internal analysis was wrong, there was somehow nothing wrong with their process yet they didn’t fail in execution to making this a competitive team that great players would want to be on.

Yet the friggin’ Knicks could do this.

New York will be in the game this summer, I’m sure. We are not at that stage. Is it a black eye? No. I don’t consider it. That’s our aspiration.

Aspire to be the Knicks!

Finally, Paxson had a very telling line in the radio interview, where he simply stated something very clear about his operating philosophy:

“I try very hard not to look back”

That pretty much says it all. There won’t be a change because nothing is wrong, and nothing is wrong because they don’t know it’s wrong. Everyone else is misinformed, only John Paxson and Gar Forman know the truth.

Source: https://www.blogabull.com/2019/2/8/18216605/john-paxson-and-gar-forman-had-yet-another-disastrous-media-day-following-the-otto-porter-trade

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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briannamediablog-blog · 6 years

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Music Video Analysis

Video 1: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

The picture for the the song features an angel with wings, this could be resembling Billie Joe Armstrong, and how he felt alone, however the fact the wings are whole and not broken, could be showing how strong he truly is.

What style is it?

Green Day is an well known American Punk Rock band and in there seventh album "American Idiot" featured one of their most signature songs worldwide, being Boulevard of Broken Dreams being the second single on the album , the song's lyrics where written by Billie Joe Armstrong himself, and the music was composed by the band, this song was released in 2004.

The style in which this particular song is filmed in, is in a narrative way, telling a story of walking alone, due to the front man of the band, being the iconic Billie Joe Armstrong,taking some time to clear his head to get new song ideas, he traveled to New York City alone for a few weeks renting a small loft in a East Village in Manhattan. Here he spent a lot of time taking long walks and taking part in Jam sessions. Armstrong wrote the song basing it on his time in New York City and "feeling alone", he felt the song fit nicely with the album's story line, which is about "going away and getting the hell out, while at the same time fighting their own inner demons."

How is it filmed/edited

The song is solemnly focusing on the front man of group and his experiences of being along in New York City for few weeks, and therefore the video is being cut to the narratives, and having Billie center stage at all times, and when in the music video in a side view he is always the middle man in between Trè Cool, and Mike Dirint, this therefore keeps Billie the main focus throughout the entire video, the lyrics are made to be extremely strong and powerful, such lyrics as " i walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams" and "I walk alone" followed by "My shadows the only one that walks beside me" are seen as the most powerful lyrics within in the song and are repeated to throughout in order to get a point a crossed, that this feeling of being alone is very much real, and everyone can feel very much alone alone at times, which can emphasis on the fact that even though you may feel alone, your not the only one who may feel that way, so it's that reassurance that your never truly alone. However the main focus of the song is to show that everyone can have times of walking alone, and experiencing loneliness, in it's own way, and maybe it's referring to the fact that we aren't truly human if we don't experience this particular feeling. The editing in this specific video is fast paced, considering the topic in which is being address, however it adds the bands original energetic vibes, to the video.

What effects have been used and why?

Within this music video a range of different color grading has been used in order to give the video an old kind of look, with a lot of medium shots, long shots, and close up shots, overlays have also played an extremely important role within this music video, as it makes the narrative, of Armstrong experiences, and emotions stand out, and become a very strong role within it, the advanced editing of filter the video as well as using a range of overlays, adds to making the video look old fashioned, as well as a number of different jump cuts, on top of using a dissolving transition, in order to change one shot into another in the most effect way, to keep the audience engaged, with the video and the band. Also by keeping Armstrong telling his story and emotions, could have the audience feeling closer to the singer, and relating to him in a number of different ways.

The music video itself is focusing on an old ruined town in a desert type of area, with a women standing outside her house next to a normal looking mail, which could emphases on the fact that this is her "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

As the video continues on tracking the band as they walk further into the scene the shot cuts into the ruins, of a house will could be used to show people in the area have began to loose all hope they ever had left, however it could specifically be showing the loneliness in which the singer may be feeling on the inside, which is not visible on the out, we see many close up shots of the band member pulling there blazers up covering themselves from the wind, this close up shot also shows the other band members emotions in their eyes as they walk down the road more. Many of the shots, are of Billie Joe Armstrong, as he is being soul of the this particular song, meaning that close up shots of him, is vital, as it is directly showing his emotions throughout the entirety of the song. As of today “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” has 258 Millions views on youtube since being posted 5 years ago, by the band, and is number one on the list of the bands top ten viewed songs.

Video 2: Green Day - Troubled Times

Troubled Times was released in 2016 along with their new album “Revolution Radio”

History of the Song and Editing

Troubled Times was inspired by the terrorist attacks, in which tragically struck in Paris, in November 2014, and where the front man of the band, Billie Joe Armstrong was friends with guitarist, Eden Galindo, who plays the guitar for the band for Eagles Of Death, played at Paris club Bataclan, where 95 of their fans where shot dead in the horrifying attacks which haunts Paris, the song solemnly focus upon the issues in which have happened in the pasted, such as honoring the civil rights leader Martin Luther King, as well women suffrage, it also features captured images of protests, and many other problems in which have shook the world over the years, the song has many different overlays and color filers in order to give it a range of different textures and look about it, it also uses a range of different wipe cuts / transitions in order to make the song effective to the audience in which are watching it, the use of the dissolving of different images inside of each other, can be used to emphasize on the amount of problems in which have happened, and that, it’s time to stop and time for a change.

Also featuring a Trump like figure, wearing a Make America Great Again baseball cap, saying hateful uses of to a crowd, which can emphases that Donald Trump is a problem, in the world and in this video they are criticizing him for all of his actions, however at the time in which this video was made, he was just an elect for President, and maybe Billie Joe was trying to foreshadow the unraveling events in which could occur if he became President, this can also show how Armstrong feels towards Trump and what he is doing, and wants to do is wrong, and by having him as President could cause a Troubled Times for America in the years ahead.

This song touches upon all different types of problems in which effect people world wide, and the lyrics are extremely important, to the telling of the story line, of the point in which the band is trying to get across to people, “What good is love and peace on earth, When it’s exclusive” The leading man Billie Joe Armstrong, ask a rhetorical question in order to point the dryness that despite many known religions and political, movements that preach love for everyone and everything, and how the world should be in this day and age. Throughout the cause of all of their songs Green Day still foreshadows the feelings of loneliness, and being alone, as it is always having a slight appearance within everyone of their songs. This can also show the development of their music over the course of the years, and how the music style is still the same, but the songs are still as good as they were back in the day, and still follow the same kind of pattern which is what links them all together

Video 3 : Green Day American Idiot

Green Day released their seventh album American Idiot in late 2004, the front cover of the Album consists of three main primary colors, red white and black. The white of the hand holding the heart, is used in order to show, peace, purity and tranquility, however the red contrast with this as it has connotations of love unity, and passion, but at the same time it also amplifies the theme of rage anger, and destruction, and with the background being such a bold color such as black, allows the other colors to stand out more, although black still can have that feeling of loneliness hidden within it, which is always shadowing throughout the entirety of their songs, furthermore the bleeding which has be made in such a way, that it looks like a grenade, has been used to really emphases that love can be used as a weapon to destroy a being, as well manipulate another into doing something to another being, love can also be used as a way of controlling and abusing the power of love, and turning it into something that it’s not, therefore love can be one of the most dangerous weapons to have.

Looking at the Music Video

The style in which this particular song is filmed in is rock, as well as narrative,lioe mist of Green Day's songs they have a meaning as well as most of the bands songs, it is still conveying an important message to be heard, at the begging of the video, Billie Joe Armstrong, the front man of the band from various different shot angels, center stage of the camera, this represents that he is a very important part of the song, and that what he is about to sing is something to be heard, but it can also show his importunity to the band as a whole, and as an individual, and therefore isn’t someone you would want to ignore, Armstrong also wrote this song himself.

The lyrics are specifically based upon the post 9/11 America in which they had to live in everyday, with the harsh politicians, media in which was controlling what to wear and what to buy, and who they should be, and to not allow them to change you into a different personality, and change into the "Idiot America", this songs it extremely important as all of Green Days' songs it is convey a message of importance, as the video continues the camera cuts to a long shot of all three members of the band, this conveys to the audience their attitude toward whatever it is they are about to sing about, this can also show that what they are going to sing about is extremely important to them, and therefore you should listen well to them, and this scene unravels more it cuts to a more closer up to the bands members facial expressions

It then cuts to a lower angle of the front man of the band, Billie Joe Armstrong, by doing it as a lower angle shows that he has power and authority due to me the leader of the band, the camera then cuts soulumly to a close up of his face which can convey to the audience his opinions upon the subject in which he is singing about, and in this case it is about the post 9/11 America they live in, also by showing the front mans face cab also show the emotions and hate in which he feels at this point in time.

Editing

The editing for this music video can be considered as being fasted paced, because of the quickness of cuts, to all the different camera shot, these shots consist of, long shots medium shots, and close up shots, of the front man of the band, which can indicate to the audience just how important he is as an individual, as well as being to the band itself, this could of been done as fasted paced, in order to fit with the pace in which the guitar was being played at, but also to fit in with the front man of the band, and therefore keep the camera attention upon him for the introduction of the song, before cutting to a varied of different shot types, to the other members of the band, however when panning around he other members of band, and as the band as a whole, the motion of the camera is a lot more slower, which contrasts with the band members quick and fast paced playing in a very ferocious kind of way, this has an extremely good effect for the audience, as it enables them to s the the masked up facial expression of the band members a lot more clearly, and therefore the explosion of all their emotions throughout the course of the song is a lot more effective, and visible. The use of zooming in and out of the band members, and focusing clearly upon the, can relate to the energetic vibe in which the band brings out clearly through, through the way they are in center camera shot, therefore the constant change in camera angle can also be referring to the song itself, as well as the America in which they now live in, which can also be a way of conveying their message to their viewers, as everything is constantly changing, and nothing is ever staying the same, and by having the close ups of their faces’s, especially the front man of the band, is a very specific way in which has been used in order to convey their opinion, on the constant change in which they are surrounded by, and it needs to stop.

What Special Effects have been used and why?

Not man special effects would have been used in the making of this music video, maybe some lighting editing would have been used, because while filming in a warehouse give them a lot of high key lighting, and in some cuts there is low key lighting, and therefore some color grading, or light editing would have been used in order to make it look darker than it actually is, which fits with music video extremely well.

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italicwatches · 6 years

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[legacy content] My Hero Academia - Episode 02

Okay, I’m in a better mental spot. Let’s keep it that way. Time to see how this goes; it’s My Hero Academia, episode 02! Here we GO!

-We begin, with that video. All Might’s grand display, as watched by a young Izuku…The moment that filled him with raw, intense admiration and passion…And then, the moment when he learned he had no Quirk at all, that he was an ordinary person in a world full of the extraordinary…The struggles he’s faced, the difficulties, the pain…And in the Now…That question.

-That single idea. Of being able to do good, of being able to save lives and do what matters, with or without powers…And as All Might ponders his question…That’s when something begins to go wrong. His own powers, he can’t maintain his bulk…And as his power shuts down, Izuku doesn’t even see it, having his attempt to express his feelings, his admiration and his desire to be like the man he so idolizes…

-And then the smoke clears…And All Might doesn’t have very much might at all. He’s more like No Might. (heyoooo) And Izuku doesn’t know what the fuuuuuuuck

-Opening! Still no subs.

-Down in the local shopping district, in a random alleyway, the slime awakens inside a soda bottle, and he’s not happy about this…While Katsuki is walking through the same alley, and kicks that very bottle, knocking its cap right off and not even noticing. As the slime rises up, preparing to take him as a vessel instead…!

-Episode 02! What It Takes to Be a Hero

-While back on the roof, Izuku sees his hero un-bulked for the first time, and he also coughs up a bunch of blood and is basically a skeleton. And Izuku’s image of his hero is shattered…As all he can do is ask Izuku not to let anyone see this, as he has to reveal something to the boy. A wound. A vicious injury he sustained five years ago. He lost half a lung and an entire part of his digestive tract. The surgeries and efforts to save him…Well, you see the results. Just staying alive sapped him dry, and he can only be at full bulk for about three hours a day.

-Five years ago…When he fought the villain Toxic Chainsaw? Good eye…But no. This was a fight that the public never knew about. A fight that he very purposefully kept the media away from, after the results…Because he knows he’s a symbol. A symbol of Peace. He cannot have been brought low by evil. That fearless smile you so idolize, boy…It, has, to, stay, strong. Because the pros…They’re always risking their lives. It’s the game.

-Which is why he can’t give you some rousing speech of how the powerless can be just as good at being a hero. He cannot, will not, see an innocent boy brought into this if he doesn’t have to…If you just want to serve the public, you’re better served joining the police…And then he’s gone. Which is when, on his way out, he realizes that the bottles fell out of his pockets. The slime managed to get loose.

-And then, he and Izuku both separately see an explosion in the shopping district…!

-Several local heroes get there in time to see the slime holding Katsuki, who’s caused the explosion in a desperate bid to get away and/or draw attention to his plight, to force heroes to come…Death Arms is the first on the scene, racing in with his immense strength…But he can’t get a grip on the slime, naturally, not having the sheer force to do things like All Might…

-While Katsuki continues his struggle, throwing down more fire and boom, more intensity, as the slime keeps trying to grapple him…To take him over…

-Which is when Mt. Lady arrives! But she can’t get big enough to do serious work in the tight confines of the shopping center, which means she probably doesn’t have a ‘medium’ setting, she’s just all or nothing. Kamui Woods arrives and starts getting people out of there, but as a lumberious hero, he can’t exactly do much in the real thick of the flames for long…

-Backdraft is in there getting the water down thick and heavy, but that’s only going so far, and he can’t dare look away from it until the firemen are here…The battle is a minefield, as Katsuki is slowly but surely being consumed, his struggle simply making things worse…The other heroes, with options few, are looking at having to simply hold the line, to get innocents out, and to try and keep the kid alive long enough for more heroes to arrive…

-Which is when All Might gets there, still exhausted, and sees…The slime. He let it escape because he was too worried about his time limit…And now this has happened…!

-Commercial break!

-And we’re back! Izuku is walking home, his head in his damaged notebook and his passion drained, as he sees that huge autograph from his hero…The man who told him he can’t do this. The cold, bitter reality. And now he’s trying to hold his tears back…When he hears another boom. And realizes he’s by the shopping district…And he can’t stop himself from getting into the crowd…

-When he sees the slime. Oh god. Oh god, the thing has someone else…! Someone’s in there getting hurt! And people are starting to talk, and worry, and someone realizes they saw All Might chasing this thing…Izuku feels the agony of his mistakes, feels this is his fault…Feels he made All Might drop the thing, that he caused this, that someone’s gonna die because of him…As All Might, mere feet away, faces the wrath of his own patheticness, unable to face it…

-And then…Then Izuku sees those eyes…Sees the eyes of the guy in there…And he races in, unable to stop himself! His legs are moving before his eyes catch up, his arms pounding before his mind realizes what’s happening, his body alight with motion, instincts kicking on…The things he’s learned from analysis. How would a hero catch this thing? Someone like Kamui Woods would engulf it! So before he even realizes, Izuku’s whipping his backpack off, letting the woods spill out, and throwing it open-handed into the face of the slime! It has to struggle to get it off, has to take its focus off of Katsuki…

-And in that flash, Izuku’s there, clawing through the slime to reach the same piece of shit who’s caused him such pain…But the thought of turning away, from even him, from anyone…It’s, fucking, unthinkable. He saw the pain in those eyes…And he can’t deny it…!

-So even as he struggles…As All Might tries to compel his powers to function, and as the other heroes try to save this boy…All Might is there, holding the line, for a few precious seconds! A few seconds is all he needs, as even with blood spilling from his mouth in a spray, he forces one hand through the slime to grapple the young man loose. And with the other, it’s a DETROIT SMASH! A single blow kicks up wind enough to blast the slime apart, to bring up a cyclone that reaches to the stars above…!

-And when it’s over, when he can barely move…All Might is holding that boy, safe and sound. And a mighty rain begins to fall, the clouds swirled to this single point by All Might’s punch. He rises, despite the pain, as the people praise him, as they see his symbol of hope…Unable to speak, he raises a fist to the cheers of the crowd, as the other heroes move in to collect the creature’s parts for hopefully the last time.

-Of course, Izuku saw a lot of scolding, while Katsuki got praised for holding out as long as he did…But in that moment, all that Katsuki can see, is the fact that Izuku, had to save, him.

-Of course, the event is all over the news by sundown, as both young men make their way home…Izuku is left feeling rather down about having caused trouble…When Katsuki comes after him, full of indignant fury about not needing Izuku’s help, his pity, or anything else. And then he’s stomping off before Izuku can give him a single response…

-And then, that’s when All Might arrives, having escaped the reporters at last! And then his powers give out. He has to thank Izuku, and apologize…Because if Izuku hadn’t done what he did, that thing would be wearing that boy like a suit. That you, a boy without a Quirk of your own, were willing to move into the fray…That was the reason he was able to push through the pain. You’ve certainly heard that the greatest heroes, have stories from even their school days…But what people never think to mention, is what those stories are. Almost to a single man, they are of one finding themselves moving before they can stop to think, of one’s body in the thick of a problem by the time their mind catches up…

-That is what makes a hero. It isn’t what powers you have. It isn’t the suit, it isn’t the badge. It’s when you see something going wrong, and realize you’re already in the middle of trying to make it right. That, is what a hero is, young man…And Izuku realizes, realizes what All Might is saying. What he’d wanted his mother to say, back when he was a child. What he’s wanted to hear from someone, anyone, his whole fucking LIFE.

-That he, too, can be a hero. And as those words come from All Might’s lips, Izuku falls to his knees with emotion, is overcome with tears, at the very idea…That the dream, the thing that seemed so impossible, might just be within his reach…!

-Credits!

Change this world, Izuku. Chase those passions, and show what kind of man you truly are. You can do it, kid…! And we’ll see proof of that next time, in episode THREE of My Hero Academia! Wait for it!

#where I watch #recap #anime #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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