#may have to go for a bike ride to feel better but i'm scared I won't be able to breathe

[daedrabela]

i miss being hot. i miss taking pictures and feeling cute. i miss dressing up and wearing minxy little outfits. i can't stand myself anymore. i can't look in the mirror.

[yoon-topias]

Yoontopia | Chapter 3 {Dresses and touches}

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: When dress shopping turns into more than just shopping in a dress room where Yoongi pushes boundaries.

⟡5.9k words

Violet Pov:

Getting off work today Yoongi is taking me to go shopping for the dress. Shopping is a pain in the ass let alone being curvy. Everyone stares and nothing looks how it's meant to on my body. I pack my bag up, take off my heels, slide on my boots, a suit and boots yeah that totally looks okay, not. Yoongi has seen me at my worst anyways, there is always this comfortability with him. I don't have to act nor do I have to put up a front. Whatever I'm feeling is what I feel and he accepts it. As I'm about to leave, of course the goons have something to say.

"You going out with that guy again, violet you could do better don't you think?"

"I bet he is using you as a safe goat if he ever gets caught"

That's it they pissed me off, walking up to one of them and sticking my finger in his chest "you know what, Mark you're only saying that because you're friends with Jackson. So what if he makes me happy and actually fucking appreciates me huh? Someone who is a better man than Jackson ever was. So how about you fuck off and let me live, Yoongi brings out the best in me and makes me feel things that Jackson could never. I may be a little selfish, because I wanna keep him to myself but just a little longer and I'll set him free so for fucking once Mark leave me the fuck alone."

They are standing there in shock and slowly back off from me. Fixing my black coat and zipping it up since it can get cold with the wind riding, but what Vi didn't see was Min Yoongi standing there around the corner coming to get you. He wanted to help you hold your bag, make sure you didn't forget and worked late. He doesn't know what you think. You practically confessed your love for him to someone else, but why couldn't you do it to him, and set him free. What does that mean?

He turns around and goes around the hall so you don't see he heard it all, yeah play it cool Yoongi you can ask her later enjoy the time with her while you have it because it can all fall apart in seconds for all he knows. Fixing your coat, grabbing your bag and starting to walk down the hall and needing to say bye to the security guard you always make sure to bring him his banana milk. "Bye Kook, have a good shift." He is a closing shift guard so you get him as he wakes up for the day so at lunchtime you bring him banana milk he loves. "Bye violet, thanks for the drink again. How do I ever repay you?"

Turning to look at him and give him a smile "I don't need repayment Kook, everyone needs someone watching out for them" and you turn on your heels, walking out the door the sun is out shining bright you haven't seen sunlight all day been stuck on research for a case. It's going to be a nice day to be on the bike to get some sun and just feel alive. Smiling as you see Yoongi's bike parked, but no Yoongi now where could that man have gone. He can't go far lost in thought, your brows crease. He is around the corner planning to grab you, scare you always been an easy scare. As you pull out your phone to call him he jumps out and wraps his arms around you from behind.

"Vi, you ready to go try on dresses?" He goes to your ear like he's telling you a secret "I'm gonna need a fix though, because I won't be able to handle seeing you all dressed up. I  nearly died when you went to prom" turning your head to look at him your eyes go wide as you see the gummy smile he has on.

"Yoon do you mean that? Why didn't you say anything at prom?" blinking at him and you can see his throat do a gulp.  "Well you know you and Hans banned Ma, Pop, and me from saying anything how y'all looked also didn't wanna come off the wrong way to the others Violet'' he shrugs as he looks away from my face he has a slight tinge of red to his cheeks. Cute.

"Well thank you Yoon, but next time you better tell me because that night I felt so ugly even though I was dressed up, but standing next to Hans I knew I wouldn't compare and who had a date? Hans and I was the third wheel"

"You know Vi, I wanted to ask you as friends of course but being already graduated. Also your best friend's brother. I didn't wanna push boundaries. I wished I maned up and asked you cause to spend that night with would have been a fucking dream."

Humming in response not finding words to respond with after he just said turning to him and giving him a hug "Well looks like we'll have a do over Min Yoongi. Let's go shopping"

Pulling away looking at him in the eyes and I see a spark flash in them "I need my fix Vi." Reaching into my pocket and grabbing a lollipop, unwrapping, putting it in my mouth, and running down the stairs. "Looks like you're gonna have to steal it." Yelling as I go down the stairs.

"Vi I swear if you fall and hurt yourself there's no remorse coming from me, you clumsy ass!" he is starting to try and catch up to me getting to the bottom of the stairs before he does and I stare up at him as I take a seat on his bike and pull my lollipop out crossing my arms.

"What took you so long Yoon? Gotta get the dress shopping done so we can make it to the aquarium remember case is closed I won. " giving him a smirk popping the lollipop back in and he rolls his eyes at me.

Yoongi Pov:

This woman will be the death of me. She is in a suit and on my bike waiting for me and I wish I would just go between her legs, grab her face and finally kiss her. Min Yoongi you are just the best friends brother get your mind out of the gutter. "Oh yeah, Vi looks like we gotta find the perfect one for you, then we gotta tell Lewis you won so you can buy him all his lettuce huh?" She nods her head and smile with that fucking lollipop.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

Taking my backpack off to get her helmet out, my bag left mine on her seat. She is looking at me tapping her thighs god those thick thighs. Stop. Yoongi. Zipping my backpack, I intentionally put nothing else in it, grabbing her bag, shoving it into my backpack, setting it next to the bike. I walk up to her and tap her chin to look up at me. She blinks at me with that fucking lollipop.

"Vi you can't have a lollipop in your mouth you know that" she shrugs and blinks at me. "Looks like you'll have to steal it Yoon" I take a deep breath and take everything in me to not lose the control I have had for so long. I bend down to her ear and risk what I'm saying. "Looks like I'll just have to take it then from a bad girl, and bad girls don't get what they want huh?" She turns her head slightly, shakes her head no understanding and her lips part and I reach for the lollipop stick and pop it in my mouth.

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple.

She looks at me like I just did something she never expected. "Violet, you know it's bad to leave your mouth open." Tapping her chin, she just slowly closes her mouth.  I put her helmet on her, buckle it for her making sure it's tight enough, the shield is open. I see her wide gray eyes staring at my every movement. God her eyes pull me in and take me to my utopia with those silk sheets over our bodies. She's not just laying next to me but she is on top of my lap and looking at me in my eyes. We could be talking, joking around, or fucking and those eyes will be my weakness. Two of those I can do on a regular occurrence but the other? No it'll never happen and that Vi will live in my utopia in the home she has built there. Her home, it's not mine anymore.

When I get done I bite down on the lollipop, take the stick out and toss it on the ground looking her in the eyes "I'ma need another one later Vi later, but time to go. It's time for my backpack to be behind me" Nodding her head and I push the face shield down, putting the backpack straps over her arms. She stands up. I swing my leg over, putting my arm out for her to grab onto. She swings her leg over, putting her feet on the pegs, scoots down and attaches herself to me. She wraps her arms around me and intertwines her fingers.

I start my bike and give her thigh a tight squeeze

"You ready, Vi. You're gonna look like a fucking goddess" kicking the stand and rev my bike and take off, turning the volume up already having her playlist playing since I was listening to it already. "Yoon you already have it playing. Look what I'm doing to you"

God does she know what she is doing to me.

We have a decently long ride to get to the mall, that just means I get to have her wrapped around me longer.

Violet Pov:

"Hey Yoon you think they'll have something for me" there is nothing ahead of us yet I find his hand making its way to my thigh, his thumb rubbing in circles those black leather gloves. I don't know why But they stir up those butterflies in my stomach. "Violet, sweets they will have the perfect dress for you that will fit all your curves and make you feel like a thousand words.''

Trying to remove your hand and he takes his hand away from your thigh, he  places his hand over your hands on his stomach.  "No. Violet safety."

"Okay, Yoon I just wanted to hold your hand"

"Oh so you admit it this time, well then here Vi."

He grabs your hand from on top and locks his hand on top so if he needs to use his hand he can quickly take it away. Feeling my cheeks turn red thank god for the helmet, looking at the cars passing by you wish you could see him again like when you would ride behind Hana. "You think Hana would be mad at us? You know being close?"

He squeezes my hand and releases it as he goes to tap my knee to turn left, bracing and leaning my body with him. "Ya know she always said, if she could have you a part of the family she would. Doesn't matter what way that happened."

"What do you mean Yoon, you wanna marry me now?"

"I mean I already know how you taste might as well make you family. Hold on Vi let's have some fun"

He down shifts and takes off on an open bridge, you tighten your thighs and arms and make a scream "I'm gonna get married"

"That you are Vi, one day" he laughs and continues to go as fast. At this moment it feels like it's just us on the road, no one else.  He squeezes my right thigh "hard right Vi" and as he follows through with the turn you hold on like never before. Maybe you could get used to this with him.

Hell do you even need a bike anymore?

Was that crush you made yourself push deep down worth it now?

Yoongi Pov:

Grabbing and squeezing her knee one more time as we pull into the mall to go shopping, she squeezes a little tighter today. This banter we have goin' on I can't read too much into it. I can't let myself fall and stumble I have came too far and even if that means loving her from a distance and just have some fun I will. We pull into a spot and kick the stand, putting my arm out for her to swing her leg over and get off. She comes and stands in front of me waiting for me to take her helmet off. I get off my bike, take my  helmet off and smooth out my hair. She comes and sits on my seat as I set my helmet on her spot.

Tapping her chin "Look up at me, Vi" she tilts her head up unbuckling her helmet, taking it off her head, and smoothing out her hair for her. "There you go pretty"

Her mouth parts and she looks at me like she is in shock I called her pretty. "Vi, you know you're gorgeous right? I have always thought that since the first time I laid my eyes on you." she shakes her head at me "You never said Yoon."

"But didn't my actions ever show you, silly?" She looks at me confused, her brows crease looking for an answer in her head.  Stepping forward as she sits on my seat putting myself in between her thighs as she bites her lip nervously. Fuck hold it together Yoongi. 

"Violet look at me right now" she locks eyes with me, those gray eyes staring back at me searching for answers she has never noticed. I'm going to lay them all out for her. 

"Violet Rose. Did you ever notice how I would literally stare at you anytime you were in our house. when you learned how to backpack, how I was insistent you ride with me because I didn't want no guy to think they could have you, how I literally called you princess all of middle school? Huh? You think it was just to bother you Violet? No it was because your beauty is otherworldly. You hear me Violet. I want you to say it back tell me. Tell me you're beautiful"

Grabbing her hips, pulling her off my bike, Putting my fingers under her chin to look at me. She is blinking at me in shock. I know I said too much may have gone too far, but I can't stand and watch her not love herself. "Y-you said my middle name you never use it Yoon"

"I'm waiting, Violet Rose."

"I- I'm b-beautiful."

"See, was that so hard, Vi?"

Nodding her head "Yeah, it was everyone besides you and Hans told me I was ugly Yoon."

Placing my hand on her cheek and rubbing up and down. "Well maybe that's cause' we're the only ones who matter. We see you for you. Now let's go get you that dress. I know that body of yours has changed and I'm ready to see it in all of its glory"

"You sure Yoon? Cause' I have done my own damage to my body"

"Vi what do you mean, huh?"

"I guess, You'll see Yoon."

"So help me god Violet, if it's what I think you're gonna see another side of me" she places her hand on top of the hand that's on her cheek and pulls it down. "Promise me, no pinky promise you won't see me different" she is holding out her other pinky waiting for me to kiss, accept it.

"Violet Rose I'll never see you differently you're still the same girl I met all those years, from my sister who never left me alone. I accepted it. I Accepted you the day I met you. You are in my life for a reason."

Holding out my pinky to her not knowing what I'm committing to, but with her I'll walk to hell and back on my knees. Locking our pinkies together looking her in the eyes and placing a kiss on my pinky as she does after me and stamping out thumbs together.

"Pinky"

"Swear"

"Time to go shopping, Vi. You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Yoon"

I grab the backpack from her and place her Helmet inside. Choosing to leave mine on the bike if it's stolen I don't care as long as she has a helmet that's what matters. I hold my hand for her to walk into the mall. I see her chest rising up and down. Why would dress shopping be so nerve wracking I know it's hard for her to find sizing which is honestly fucking bullshit it's a body it shouldn't be ashamed, left out but that's another topic. She wraps her whole fist around my pointer finger.

Something about her being small makes me smile, yeah we are crossing some boundaries, but maybe it's time to do it. It's been over twelve years in the making. It's time I need to step up to the plate and take the risk. As we walk into the mall she is by my side and I see the nervous little girl who would walk into her homeroom class looking back at me like she was going into hell after I encouraged her each and every year to just take the first step into class if she wasn't with Hans. I'm going to make this the best shopping trip she has ever had.

"How about we go get a snack, Vi?" Looking down at her. She smiles and hums in response.

"Smoothies Yoon!"

"Yeah we can get smoothies bubs."

Violet Pov:

Walking into the store we both have smoothies. We both got orange, mango, and pineapple.  There are dresses lined everywhere. I start to look where my sizing is always the smallest section. Hopefully they have something either black or white since it's black and white theme. "Yoon, do you have your outfit?"

"Don't worry about me Kay? Today is for you" what you didn't know was that the night he came home he called Jin on his way home, told him about it and said he needed help and of course Jin called Hobi over  by the time he was home he was already there. They stayed up all night going through what Hobi brought and all the closets in the house to find the perfect outfit that is not a suit. He'll wear whatever, but a suit? No chance in hell unless vi asked it of him.

"Hey Yoon you go take a seat and I'll shop around okay?"

"Will that make you comfortable or are you saying that because you feel bad I'm here?"

Slowly holding out my hand with my index and middle finger out "Uh number two."

"Well then I'm staying."

Well that is Yoongi should've guessed it, stubborn as always.. I start looking at the dresses their is a small section and I see few dresses that would go with the theme already grabbing them off the rack without even checking what they look like since you know one of these you'll be stuck with, and as you grab the three dresses off the rack Yoongi's hand comes and take the hooks in your hand. "You will never carry your own stuff when you're with me Vi." your cheeks turn a light pink, you take a sip of your smoothie as he starts to walk to the dressing room area. He looks so comfortable doing this with you. How?

Going to an empty dressing room he walks in, hangs the dresses up for you. Looking at him as he comes to you. He is wearing something different than his normal all black. A pair of dark washed jeans, light  gray hoodie, a sweat shirt on top of it with some design on it and a black jacket. He always has to have his black jacket.  "Hey Yoon you can go look around at some other stores if you want"

He walks out the dressing room and look you dead in the eyes. "And what if I wanna be in this store you gonna kick me out, Vi?" He comes and gives you a hug.  You accept it yeah you backpack him a lot riding, but this feels different when he comes up to you to hug you,  wraps you up in his arms. He runs his hand through your hair and takes a deep breath, you can hear his heart beating fast. 

"Now I wanna see those dresses on you, Vi. Only if you let me." Nodding your head to him in his chest it feels nice to be close to him why? No, that stupid crush needs to be buried six feet under and never see light again.  "I'ma need a fix. You got another lollipop?"

Reluctantly unwrapping your arms around him reaching into your pocket, taking the lollipop and unwrapping it putting t it in your mouth. "I told you I'm a sugar addict Yoon."

Pineapple your favorite flavor.

He looks at you like you just stole his heart, his eyes flash, you see the glossy eyes he is staring at you with and he slowly steps forward. You back up with each step he takes, finding yourself against the wall. His hand finds its way to your hip. He looks down at you, yeah you have been close but like this? Never.  "Violet you know you can't take my lollipop" he slowly bends down to your ear "Do you wanna be forever on the back of my bike, because that can be arranged wife" lips parting looking at him and he takes the lollipop stick from you and pops it in his mouth.

Yoongi Pov:

Giving her hip a squeeze "Now go try on those dresses I'll be out here waiting. If there's one you don't want me to see then don't show me, but I know you'll look perfect in every one"

There is no chair so I squat and clasp my hands together waiting to see what she's gonna look like. I haven't seen her dressed up since prom and god did I go to heaven and back that night. "Ugh" I hear from the dressing room. "Vi, you good?" About to stand up to check on her but she speaks up as I'm about to "Just one will only work Yoon I should have looked at the sizes, but they were in the spot"

"That's okay Vi I'm sure it'll be perfect" I hear her sigh and I know it's tough on her, but if my only mission in life is to see her love her body I will. What Yoongi doesn't see in the dressing room is you're struggling with the zipper. You can't zip it up to the top, your arms are too short.

"Uh Yoon can you help with the z-zipper?"

Standing up to walk to the dressing room I hear the click of the door unlocking and as I open it she is standing there, hands covering her body as much as she can. God I can't even see the whole thing it's perfect. It hugs your waist, wrapping flawlessly around your body to show the road map that people will have to work for. That I need to work for. Pulling your arms down I need  a full view. Eyes searching and roaming all over your body, I want to picture you like this forever. Taking a few steps forward after I shut, lock the door behind me. How could anyone as beautiful as you could think you're a monstrosity you're fucking devine.

"Turn around, Vi please" she turns around as she does. I see her backside the way the dress hugs every point of her body,  just waiting for someone to learn the road map. "So beautiful" I whisper to myself. Stepping up to her she is staring at the corner to not look at herself in the mirror. I slide my fingers down her back and her skin gets goose bumps on her upper arms. Cute.

Grabbing a hold of the zipper and zipping it up to the top of her back.

"You're gorgeous, Vi"

"Stop, you're just saying it Yoon."

"I'm fucking serious Violet Rose" I pull her close to me and make her face the mirror,  run my hand down her arm. I see the blush to her cheeks, the pin prick goose bumps on her arms, the gaze trying to not look at herself. Trailing my eyes down her body, I see the slit and her hand trying to cover her thigh, pulling her hand away her soft skin is shown..I see something I never thought I'd see on her body scars.

What did she do...when...how long? Answers I need but right now I need to make feel like she is the most beautiful woman ever. We all fight our demons, I'm trying to fight hers and mine for both of us.

Putting my hand under her chin giving her a light tap, making her look at herself in the mirror. Our eyes lock in the mirror. I'm behind her in an intimate way, closer than I have been with her. Yeah she has been behind me but this right here is intimate before it was because we had to. I let go of her chin, eyes still locked, moving my other hand to her hip.

"Look at you, Violet.'' God she is gorgeous. Running my hand down her arms, brushing lightly down. Our hands meet, dancing with her fingers tapping. Breathe Yoongi dont show her you're freaking out slightly.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

She takes a breath and it brings me back a little bit.  I'm going to push this boundary to show her how gorgeous she is. Let her know I see now what she meant when she said to promise to not think of her differently. My finger skims from her fingertips to her hip, nudging my nose to her neck "Look how pretty you are, huh? I want you to say it." as my fingers get lower on her hip she sucks in as I get closer to the slit. "Yoon, you didn't see okay" looking at her in the eyes I can see the worry behind those wide gray eyes, but also a nervousness to them. If she was touching me in any way I'd be pushing it all down to hide what she is making me feel. My weaknesses aren't shown that easily, but I think she already has a gasp on being a weakness of mine.

"We'll talk about this later Violet, but right now I want you to see how beautiful you are" my fingers caress her thigh that is exposed rubbing circles on the scars that she did to herself. She is fighting some inner demons in front of me. I can see in those eyes the way her body is stiff.

"I- I'm beautiful" she left out a little laugh at the end not because it's funny but she can't believe she is saying it let alone have Yoongi behind her guiding her to love herself.

"That's it." giving her nod she did it. "Say it again, go on." She fixes her posture which only allows me to be closer to her.

"I'm beautiful" and at the end she makes a small smile looking at herself up and down. This is not how a friend nor a best friend's brother talks to someone, but right now I'm more than that. "Bout' time you see it, Vi."' Giving her thigh a squeeze is what she feels like when I give her a squeeze for a turn. I see the goose bumps spread to her forearms now. "Good job, Princess." Pressing a kiss to the back of her head "Did I make you uncomfortable, Vi? I never want to do that" she shakes her head no relief casts over both our bodies.

I'm playing with fire, and neither of us need to get burned. Well I can get burned, I'll accept my fate.

Giving her one last squeeze,  whispering in her ear. "It's the one Vi. Let's go get you a necklace to match" and as I'm about to step out I unzip the dress, unlock the door,  stepping out to the side shutting the door standing in front of it. I Rest my back on the door. My heart is beating out of my chest, catching up to me. What's wrong with me? I have always been good with girls. never panicked before. Taking a deep breath fuck I need a cig I'm getting an addicted. Knocking on the door "Vi I need a fix." I hear my heartbeat trying to take me out.  She hums in response, opening the door. She stands there with a dress in her arm,  a lollipop unwrapped waiting for me to take.

"I think You're getting addicted Yoon." 

"Oh you have no idea, Vi."

Taking the lollipop from her hand she bites her lip as I pop it in my mouth. I grab the dress from her arm turning on my heels to go pay for it,  she grabs my arm I turn around confused "You can't buy it Yoon. I make enough money."

"And what kind of second prom date would allow a queen to buy her dress? Huh?" Continuing to walk to the counter setting it down to pay she is in her pouting stage. I have seen it so much her bottom lip puckered out,  her brows crossed looking at me. After I pay, I take the bag off the counter. "Thank you, sir" nodding in response to the cashier. I don't have time to pay attention to anyone other than the girl behind me with her arms crossed like a child.

Violet Pov:

As we walk out the store I'm holding onto the straps of the bag he is too, these strings connecting us together like magnets. Yoongi is walking a little faster than me leading the way. I stop walking which in turn makes him stop turning back as we are both holding the bag.

"Hey what's up?"

"Did. Did you mean it Min Yoongi?" He steps up in front of me,  places his hand on my cheek as I look up to him. "Every single word, every single touch Violet Rose. Now let's go get you that jewelry"

He slowly lets go of my face and I see so much behind those eyes they tell a story I know he struggles,  just doesn't say. Walking into the store and looking at all the cases my finger skims over the glass like a child picking out a toy. Staring down at a pair of necklaces that have a little silver square on the end with two keys next to it. It looks like the couple type. It makes you push all those feelings down again, bury them six feet under, turn around and Yoongi is no longer standing behind you. Seeing him at the same case you were looking at with a sales lady.  "Can I just do some earrings Yoon?" he is talking to the sales lady, Just nods his head.

"Whatever you want, Vi." he smiles at me. Pointing to a pair of small silver hoops "These ones Yoon." he nods his head and tells the sales lady to ring them up.

"Now you go outside and wait."

"Why?"

"I know you'll die when you hear the price." of course you will even though you have a good salary you're still stuck on buying the cheapest things you can find or they have to be on sale to justify the purchase. Nodding your head, going out to the front sipping on the smoothie which is most gone, walking to the trash can taking the last few sips of it. "Did you forget about me?"

"Huh? No I just drank it all"

"Where's the bag? Were they too expensive, I knew it."

"No, Miss cheapskate, they are in my backpack. I didn't want anyone to try and steal the bag from my hand."

"Oh."

He takes hold of the strings on the bag again but this time locking our pinkies together holding the strong together. "Thank you, Yoon."

"Hey you have nothing to thank me for I'll always be here for you like I have always been since the day I met you."

The doors open to the exit of the mall and as we exit I shield my eyes from the sun. "Oh I can't wait to have my helmet on." Reaching into my pocket,  grabbing a lollipop, unwrapping it with one hand and popping it into my mouth. Okay I got an addiction, but at least it's not drugs.

Walking up to the bike I let his pinky go,  slow down and get behind him and start to unzip the Backpack but he stops me.

"I'll get it, Vi."

"Fine, don't let me help."

"Ya know its not that it's just don't want you to drop the jewelry bag miss clumsy."

FIne I give him that I'm so clumsy. He takes out my helmet, putting the backpack now on my shoulders since it's the only job he lets me do ever.  He takes the dress bag from my hand and places it very carefully into the bag and zips it up. "It's all good, now give me my fix." holding out his hand for me to give him a lollipop. I take out mine and hold it out for him, he doesn't reject it but leans in capturing in his mouth.

He taps my chin, placing the helmet on my head. I always find myself looking at him when he does it. His focus is on making sure it's right when I could easily do it myself, but he insists every time to do it for me. Once he is done I hear the crack of him biting down on the lollipop "I'm addicted to it, Vi."

"Huh?"

"To you. To pineapple" once he says that he shut the face shield and gives my head the shake to make sure it's on tight enough. He will be the end of me, but already I'm dead buried myself six feet under long ago.  He puts on his helmet,  gets on his bike holding  his arm out and I get on behind him. I get closer to him might as well push more boundaries, giving him a squeeze he hums in response to me "I think I may be addicted to the way you make me feel Min Yoongi"

"What?"

"Nothin' let's go tell Lewis momma made him money for his lettuce."

"Ya know I heard you, Vi."

"I'm sorry this helmet makes it hard to hear."

"You know damn well we have mics and speakers connected to each other, I'll let it pass this once."

He turns his bike,  gives me a squeeze, revs his bike and we're off to go to my happy place.

But my happy place is whenever I'm with him lately.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

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[thevoidscreams]

Hello! May I pretty please request serf being bred by their white scar up against his bike?

You may. This is fantastic.

Pairing: Subdori (oc) x reader

Warnings: sex in public, breeding, rough sex,

Yall better hold the fuck on he's in it to win it and by it I mean getting you knocked up

(Also, sorry, it's pretty short. I'm not feeling the best today).

Subdori growled, his teeth clenched as he found you. He'd been looking for you for over an hour.

Turns out you'd been cleaning his bike, trying to get some downtime. The Astartes had been unusually insistent recently. You couldn't be sure why, but it'd left you sore afterward. Still, your body was used to it now, and even after a week of being bred nightly, you craved that ache and the sensation of being stuffed with his seed. You could imagine it sowing inside you and growing into a child for you to love and adore.

Your hands ran over the seat of the bike your lover rode into battle. It was nice to have some quiet time to yourself.

Subdori felt his cock twitch under his pants, seeing your ass from that angle gave him, many ideas. And he was going to partake in most of them. His approach was quiet. He's didn't want to scare you off, even if you were his and didn't need to be scared off. Subdori knew he'd been riding you a bit hard as of late.

But the teasing words of his brothers and the bets they'd been making had gotten to him.

'I bet I could get five women pregnant in the time it took you to get just your one.'

As if. He'd chosen you because he saw the quality of you. And he was glad to see that physical quality reflected in who you were as a person. He'd have you pregnant with in the week he was certain. You would make a fine mother for his children.

The first clue to you should have been the other serfs clearing out fast. Leaving their work unfinished. But you were too intent on your own work to register the odd behavior.

It wasn't until the hands clasped your hips that it dawned on you just how relevant it was.

"Subdori, my love, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but I've been looking for you for over an hour now." His hands held your hips, pulling you back to meet his hardening cock.

"I see, and am I in trouble for this?"

Subdori lowered his face down to your shoulder, mouth open, and let his teeth rest against the thin fabric of your shirt. It made you shiver with need, having been conditioned to the feeling of his live bites when you came. Now, the feeling made a surge of desire shoot through you.

"I would like to mount you now." Subdori growled.

"I bet you would big boy, but we're in the hanger. Not exactly the most romantic or private place to do this."

Subdori grabbed your waist and raised your body up to stand on the floorboard of his bike. "I don't see anyone who would object."

You rolled your eyes.

"I'm pretty sure the other serfs-" You made a gesture only to realize he was right. Every other person in the immediate vicinity had cleared out. "...well damn..okay."

Subdori chuckled, hooking his thumbs into the band of your pants, dragging them down.

"I see you have been thinking about this as well."

You shivered as the cool air of the room kissed your arousal soaked lips. "You put your mouth on my shoulder, of course I got hot." You grumbled.

His hand gently pressed you down, your chest resting on the wide seat as he freed his cock from the restraining confines of his pants.

"This is a good angle for you. We should do this more often." Your white scar huffed as he pushed his cock into the wet warmth of your cunt. You'd grown so used to having him in you every day that it was more of a comfortly snug fit rather than the burning stretch it had been when you first started sleeping with him.

Still, it drew a deep moan from you, the sound rising up from deep in your chest.

Subdori was pleased to no end by it. Knowing that his love, his little sparrow also enjoyed these times together made it all the more pleasurable.

He took a deep breath and massaged your hips, focusing on not cumming. He'd never tell you, but it was always a battle not to cum right away. You were simply too good a fit, and his body yearned to mark you inside and out.

When he had himself under control, he began, starting slow, angling his thrusts to drag over every place you loved. He was rewarded with the soft, whiny moans that he loved. It was music to his ears to hear you all but sing for him as he claimed you.

His own little slice of heaven within.

"Does my little sparrow enjoy this?" He teased, his manhood twitching as he drew another deep moaning breath from his love.

"Yes, fuck yes, please Subdori. Give me more." He bent forward over you, thrusting deeper.

"Satisfied?" His arms came to rest of the seat in front of your face as his body draped over your back and pressed you further into the leather covered padding.

There were a lot of ways you could have replied, but a deep hummed was all that would come out.

Feeling that he'd given you enough time to get well and truly settled his pace picked up, rutting you into the bike.

Beyween each wet slap of your arousal soaked thighs, he felt your heart hammering as your breathing quickened. You weren't far off and neither was he in all honesty.

"I want something from you sparrow."

"Yes. Anything." You panted as he nearly toppled his own bike over with how rough he was being. The world spins infront of your unfocused, lust hazed eyes.

"Scream for me." He latched his teeth onto your shoulder, biting down hard enough to mark, his canines drawing prickles of blood. His fingers holding you hips with bruising strength. Which for an Astartes was still restrained.

Subdori growled in satisfaction as your voice rang out. Calling his name loud enough that regardless of how far away they'd moved, the other serfs heard you in your moment of ecstasy.

It drove him over the edge, his hips not stilling for a moment as he rode out his orgasm. Working you both through the bone deep pleasure.

Subdori only let go when you began to whine in not pleasure but actual discomfort.

He pulled out, tugging your pants back up to cover you. Doing the same for himself. Then, scooping you up so less of his seed would be likely to leak out. Kissing the bite mark tenderly to relieve the ache.

"I should take you to the apothecary, I bit too hard." The jump from rough beast to caring lover was always a treat to behold.

"Good idea. I need to go back to get the test results anyways."

"Test results?" He questioned.

"Yeah, I've been feeling a bit off for a bit now and wanted to see what was up." You looked up at him.

"Why have you not told me this?" He sounded more concerned than upset.

"Cause it's always after you go off to train in the morning, and it's better after you get back to take me to breakfast."

He hummed. "Only in the mornings?" That is strange.

"I don't think it's anything to worry about Dori." You kissed his cheek.

"I hope not. But we will know soon enough."

You nodded and rested your head on his shoulder, smiling up at the man you loved.

[pinkiebieberpie]

summer of your dreams ୨୧*॰¨̮

(dad's best friend!bucky barnes x f!reader)

a few days ago after nycc i made a moodboard with this and yeah... now it's a fic, enjoy!! <33 @buckycuddlebuddy made me write it, love you elif!! ♡ also i'm not much of a writer, so feedback and reblogs are really appreciated!! please be nice to me sksjslak

words: 1.7k

warnings: age gap (reader is over 18), office romance, horny thoughts, pet names (sweetheart, honey, baby), kissing, dirty talk, unprotected sex, mention of eating pussy, mention of choking, bucky is also a ceo, so yeah he is hot, older AND rich - let me know if i've missed something

there is a few things you can do during summer break and one of them is finding a job. vision of wasting your time and just staying at home for all summer wasn't really appealing to y/n. but she also knew it can take her whole month to find a job or she may not find it at all. that's when her dad suggested she should ask his friend if they are not looking for someone in his company.

y/n knew that friend, one and only bucky barnes. he and her dad were friends since forever, bucky was the one who taught her how to ride a bike, he was a few years younger than y/n's father but still way older than her. trust me when i say that he was attractive. y/n was 100% sure he looked better and better every year. she probably shouldn't be thinking about him like that but it just happened. he was a very good looking man and she was just a young girl having a little crush, there is nothing wrong with that, right?

she was a little bit stressed out when she arrived at bucky's company to ask him a big favor, luckily he said he would do anything for her dad and for her. this is where everything started.

×××

y/n was working for bucky for two weeks and she absolutely loved it. his secretary was at maternity leave so y/n had a perfect opportunity to take her spot.

"you need anything else, mr. barnes?" she asked politely when she gave him his morning coffee, bucky just chuckled.

"i told you so many times not to call me that, i know you since you were four, y/n and no, i don't need anything else, thank you" bucky answered and smiled at her. y/n could look at his smiling face for hours. okay, let's be honest: not only smiling face, just his face. this man was doing something for her, something for her body and her mind. maybe was it because he was older? maybe because he was wearing a suit everyday? and he looked so damn good in them. the only thing that was on her mind was bucky. everyday there were more and more thoughts, dirty thoughts about him and y/n started getting more clumsy.

bucky noticed that and asked her to come to his office so they can talk about what's going on.

"is it something at home? or somebody here told you something mean? i don't know, problems with boyfriend?" he was truly worried and he just wanted to find a reason of y/n's strange behavior.

"no, it's no- it's really nothing, at home everthing is just fine, this job is amazing and boyfriend problems aren't- yeah, i'm not seeing anyone, so..." y/n started mumbling, she was also too scared to look him in the eyes.

"oh, really? i'm not gonna lie, that part about being single is hard to believe, sweetheart"

y/n's heart stopped for a second when she heard what he just said to her.

"look at me, y/n" bucky ordered and that's what she did, she never felt this small and vulnerable with him "what is going on here? you are... disctracted lately" bucky asked her again and she had no idea what to tell him. saying that she developed a feeling, a strong feeling, a crush maybe. on him. she wasn't able to focus on her tasks with him in the same room, y/n was thinking about her boss, her dad's best friend all the time. and she knew her dad won't be happy about it. he would be furious and very disappointed in her - that's why neither bucky nor her dad can find out.

"it's nothing, i swear" she finally said and just nodded, but bucky still was worried and asked her to come closer to him. he stood up and copped her face in his hands when she was close enough. y/n's breath was stuck in her lungs and she was sure she is going to have a heart attack. he was too close and it doesn't matter that this is the same man she was hugging thousands of times at family parties before, now it was different.

"you are shaking, honey, maybe you are sick? i can drive you home" she wasn't sick, but now she knew that he was. holding her like this? his face so fuckin close to her face? y/n had no idea what was she thinking (she probably wasn't thinking at all) but she said to herself "fuck it, what's the worst that can happen?" and she just kissed him.

he kissed her back. after a few seconds.

bucky's lips were soft and they tasted like mint and something a little bit citrusy. she loved it. but what's more important he loved it too. his hands soon found a new place on y/n's hips and bucky pulled her closer, she moaned at this action. bucky felt like this moan awakened something in him. something maybe primal even.

"that's why you were shaking, baby" he licked his lips and looked her in the eyes "this is what you want? that's why you wanted this job? so you can be closer to me?" he asked her with a cocky smile on his face. y/n had no idea what to tell him, because that was not the reason she wanted this job, this was something... unexpected.

"what else do you want, y/n? kiss me more? touch me? maybe you want me to touch you? right here, in my office? huh?" bucky was confident, she never saw him like this, but oh god this was so hot and if she wanted him before, now she needed him. when she was too focused on his words and still hasn't said anything, he just grabbed her and sat on his desk.

"this is wrong and... and so unethical" y/n's voice was weak and quiet.

"but it feels so right, and so good" he smiled at her "and it can be even better" she believed him, y/n was doubtless that bucky can make everything even better. he was almost twice her age, that thought was just desirable for her, so she kissed him again and now this kiss was way more lustful than the first one.

she felt his hands everywhere, her whole body was on fire and her mind went foggy long time ago. she did't care about doors not being locked or about important phone calls that he should be taking right now. in that moment his lips on her lips and on her neck were the only thing that mattered. y/n tried to be quiet, even though bucky loved the idea of her moaning and screaming his name.

"i need you" he moaned himself with his lips close to her earlobe. y/n shivered. his voice was deep, yet needy.

she needed him too, so she pulled him even closer to herself by his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. once again his hands were everywhere. y/n moved eagerly on bucky's desk. she wanted his hands in only one place, maybe two. the idea of him choking her was also appealing. her little moan said it for her and bucky touched her right where she needed to be touched.

"give me more, please" she whined and bit her lower lip. bucky also liked that sound.

"you have to tell me what do you want me to do and be specific about it" bucky was still kissing her neck "what do you need, honey? your dad's best friend's lips? or maybe my dick? just tell me, i can give you everything you want and more"

"oh fuck..." y/n whimpered "fuck me, please, here, i want you here, deep inside me, so deep, on that desk" bucky didn't waste any time, he pulled up her dress and started taking off his pants.

"i had no idea you are so dirty, baby, and fuck, you are so wet for me already" he just loved what he saw, her legs wide open for him and only for him. y/n had no time to think because two seconds later he was inside her and the loudest moan escaped her mouth.

bucky barnes knew what he was doing. he knew he would fuck his best friend's daughter so good she would have flashbacks about it the next day. or week. she was a moaning mess underneath him, unable to form one coherent thought. he also knew that she was very loud and vocal in bed, trying to be quiet was like a punishment for her. that's what made bucky move his hips faster and faster until she came hard on his cock.

"oh baby, you are so pretty like this" he was still moving inside her and chasing his own pleasure. he was loud too, y/n could have come again just by this sound.

bucky looked even better after sex, hair messy, his breath uneven, lips swollen and in a very deep shade of pink.

y/n took her hair from her face and just smiled, bucky noticed that.

"what?" he simply asked "was it good?"

"better than good, but next time i need your face between my legs, this beard of yours is going to make me crazy" y/n winked at him. i guess you can tell that orgasm gave her a boost of confidence. and that day was a beginning of very spicy romance, which wouldn't be approved by y/n's father, but he doesn't have to know everything, right? like that one time when bucky ate her out on his balcony for breakfast after they spent a whole night together at his place or the other time when she was riding him just 15 minutes before really important meeting. it's just between them and their perfect summer.

[dinnerbug]

An introduction

(Because I just noticed I haven't done one)

If you can't be bothered to read see highlighted sections for shortened but still understandable information

My name(s): Dinnerbug!

Both just bug or dinner work too if you want to shorten it down, and I'm also very open to Nicknames :D

My pronouns: It's (very) complicated

But to put it short for convenience, pretty much anything but xenopronouns work for me. Though I am quite fond of the sets she/him, he/they, they/it, and e/em/eir specifically

Things I think people should know about me:

I don't care who, what or where you are, I don't care what you believe. As long as what you like, believe, identify as or do doesn't harm anyone (harm anyone innocent that is) then you do you. I'm sick of people bullying eachother over nothing and I've worked on myself to break that mindset of 'I don't like that so it's bad'. To put it short, I'm a very accepting person and I'm only judgemental towards assholes (edited to add this because I feel it's important and I forgot it when I first made this post)

Interacting with people online like this is very much me going outside of my comfort zone, I am very anxious and I have very little self-confidence. If you interact with me in any way, be it a message, comment or ask and I don't reply, I'm probably just drowning in anxiety trying to figure out what to reply with. So if something like that happens I'm so sorry if I respond late, it just takes me time and it is not your fault. Also sometimes I start writing weirdly formally and I have no idea how I developed that habit

Miscellaneous facts: This is gonna be long

I tend to ramble a lot in posts like this I am so so sorry lmao (moved up for convenience)

I am autistic

I am british

I am asexual

I am non-binary

I have aphantasia (it sucks)

I love LORE

My favourite kind of fanfics are the kind where all my relatable favourite characters go through severe emotional turmoil and/or get hit into a wall with great force.

I can ride a bike

My favourite games are Minecraft and Portal 2

I love puzzles

I have an amazingly terrible sleep schedule. I will often be awake until 4am and asleep until 3pm, or often I won't sleep at all

I hope to learn to draw so I can interact with my favourite fandoms better and perhaps even make some friends

My hair is (was* will re-dye it soon) dyed

My favourite colour is black (boring I know)

My favourite word is No

My favourite foods are pizza, pasta, cheese and coconut

I'm very detail oriented

I don't tend to ship characters much

I'm so terrible at introductions that I have to mimic other people's ones and they still end up bad

I am very paranoid

One of my most common nightmare themes are zombie apocalypses, usually triggered by seeing zombie related content online within the past 2 days

Characters with fully black eyes (as in the whole eyeball) make me very uncomfortable and I always avoid eye contact with them

I am also very scared of the dark

Fandoms I'm in and actively interact with: If any fandoms I list here are stereotyped negatively I promise I'm a nice, chill person and I just want to enjoy things peacefully (list may change over time)

Hermitcraft

(my favourite hermits: Grian and Mumbo)

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

(my favourite characters: Leo and Donnie)

Takin' over the asylum (I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS SHOW)

(my favourite character: CAMPBELL BAIN <3 )

Sonic the hedgehog

(my favourite characters: Shadow, Sonic and Rouge)

Doctor who

(my favourite character (so far): The Doctor)

Ninjago

(my favourite characters: Lloyd, Garmadon and Zane)

[riahlynn101]

Whumptober Day Twenty-Five: "They're Not Breathing."

Author's Note: I'm going to come back and finish this sometime tomorrow.

I should also have another Mike x Vanessa one shot done by tomorrow :D!!

And I get to see the movie tomorrow (the 26th), which means all stories from the 27th - on may contain spoilers. I will tag everything accordingly.

Trigger warnings: A child in distress, childhood trauma, medical issues, and implied/referenced kidnapping and murder.

--

His earliest memory is not of learning how to ride a bike, or playing with his parents, but of a sterile white room, chest tight and breath coming out in high-pitched wheezes. 

Mike had asthma. He says had, even though every doctor he’s ever seen has prescribed him an inhaler. Had sounds cooler, like he’s somehow better than his stupid lungs and airways that like to restrict at the randomest times. 

He’s not.

When Mike was a child, it was especially bad. Anything and everything had the potential to be a trigger. Pollen. Vigorous exercise or play. Drastic changes in temperature, though dry cold was the worst. Cigarette smoke. Dander from animals. Stress. Dust. And of course, respiratory illnesses. 

His parents were on top of things, making sure the house was clean, and that Mike protected himself whenever he ventured outside. An extra scarf on chilly days, and allergy medicine when the pollen was especially terrible.

His brother-the little brat-would even tattle on Mike if he did something that could trigger his asthma. Later on, as an adult looking back, that concern would be touching. But as a sickly kid who just wanted have fun, it was really fucking annoying. 

But every so often, even listening to his parents and taking all the necessary medicines, Mike would have an attack. And sometimes he ended up in the hospital.

As he got older, these hospital visits became less and less. Until he stopped going. Sometimes his chest feels a little tight, or he’ll have a persistent cough, but nothing that a little cough syrup and a good nap can’t fix. 

Mike coughs. The mucus in his lungs rattles around. He should have expected this. It’s late-fall, which is usually the time when he gets sick. Something about the weather changing. 

It’s been a long night. The animatronics have taken (almost) full reign of the restaurant, and Mike not suicidal enough to tell them “no.” He would sooner eat glass than go out there. 

Coughing again to loosen the pressure in his chest, Mike flips through the cameras. 

“There’s Freddy,” he says to himself, watching the animatronic bear stare menacingly into the camera. They all do that, but for some reason, Freddy scares him the most. 

[thenewfuture]

Sorry Kanon, but I think that's a flawed analogy. This "luck cycle" thing or curse or whatever the hell it is...we've seen enough to know that somehow it's real. Baseball players (for the most part) don't assault people with their bats. Nagito on the other hand, while he may not intend it, represents a risk to others around him. Especially in environments like a plane. And so it would be his moral responsibility to not go abroad. In fact I can't imagine why he decided to do so to begin with.

Hey let me ask you a question, if you fall off a bike and break your leg, do you stop riding bikes all together? Probably not, right?

If you eat some rice and get food poisoning do you stop eating rice all together? Maybe not, huh?

If you step outside and you get robbed? Do you just stop going outside all together?

Fuck no! That's horseshit!

Look, I get it. Most people would be scared or even frightened to try and do those sorts of things again right away. Understable.

But I also know it's not healthy to not try again. Hiding and running from what occurred in the past doesn't automatically make you feel better. It's puts you in a constant bubble of fear and anxiety, and that's not healthy.

Life's all about going out there and trying new things and doing the things you love. You may get hurt and you may not, but you'll never know unless you try.

And before you say something like, "Well those things are small compared to what Nagito has done due to his luck cycle"

That! That too! Holding someone accountable for something so stupid and out of control elements, like luck. People can live lives without the concept of "luck" holding them back! That's just not right!

Let's take another lucky boy for example; Makoto.

Do you know how many times he's lost his wallet, or his keys, or basically anything due to his inherent "luck" since I've been here? A lot. A lot of times.

Does that mean he should never have those things? Should Makoto never have keys? A wallet? Identification? Food? Anything? Since he's more than likely going to lose it within five seconds? Didn't think so.

And if you want a more extreme example; I heard Makoto got selected to attend Hope's Peak due to an incident when he took the bus. Even with that crazy event that happened there, I'm pretty Makoto still took the bus for days on end when he could and nothing else bad happened for the most part.

Or the fact that as soon as he entered Hope's Peak, he gets enclosed in a killing game. And as soon as got close to anybody, like say Sayaka, they betray him.

And looking at him now, that guy's got a bunch of friends who'd give him the jackets off their backs should he need it. Despite his luck and inherent betrayals, Makoto sure seems fine and they don't hold the killing game against him due to his luck.

Bottom line: Stop holding people accountable just for their luck. It's not healthy mentally and it's just plain stupid.

.......

Don't look at me like that...

[pbandjesse]

I did not need to be as stressed about today as I had been. Today was excellent. I had such a good group. I am tired but I feel happy.

I didn't sleepy amazing. I woke up a lot. But that is okay. I was starving when I got up though. I don't know why I was so hungry but it was distracting.

I got up and got dressed. James was in their bike gear and getting ready for a ride. They made the bed while I was getting ready. And let me know my backpack was still wet. I had attempted to dye my new little backpack also night because the front pocket was brown and I didn't like it. I left it on the fire escape all day to dry and I'm really excited about it. I will probably do some embroidery on it. But I have many other projects happening so we'll see.

I headed to work and stoped fro breakfast. They were obviously in the weeds and I gave them my receipt at the pick up window because they were all confused. I hope it got better.

I was nervous about my day so I was bouncing around a bit. It was Jack's wife Cindy's first day. And we had our new educator Michael as well. I already like Cindy. And Michael seems great. He's from Nigeria and seems really sweet.

It was a busy busy day. I would spend the morning helping Jordan set up and chatting with him about conspiracy theories and work stuff. I did get a little frustrated with a coworker who was just. Not doing what they were supposed to. And was just adding stress for no reason. But whatever.

I continued to be nervous but as soon as the group got here and I brought mine inside they were so lovely? They were so good. We had a kid with a broken foot and so we weren't sure if he was going to be able to go up the stairs but I checked with him and he said he would just like a job that can stay downstairs. So Mr Platt it is. I think he enjoyed it. And all the other kids did too. They were all so smart. I really had the best time. And honestly just doing my shucking station went great and I had a great time.

We had a double overlap today though and that was pretty stressful. Especially with two new people. And so after I got my group out to their scavenger hunt I went back to help reset and get everything handled. Adam was a little confused to see that the tasks were handled. But like we help each other.

The kids really liked that I did prizes and they were real competitive. And once we went through all of the answers I sent them off to lunch.

I went back to the office to read my book for a bit. When all of a sudden Becca and Adam ran into the break room in a panic that Del's cannery was 20 minute late. How is that possible. And of course it wasn't true. They were maybe 2 minutes behind. The other cannery was just a few minutes early. But there was a 5 minutes panic and texting and running around. And it was just like. Guys calm down.

I went to get the kids and took them to the assembly line. And they did a great job. Gaby was great as a second. And they would finish with enough time to check out the car. Which is always my goal. Though we did have a scare when a piece of the moveable wall fell off and I thought it was metal and was going to hit Gaby in the head. But thankfully it was plastic so it only startled us.

While the kids were out checking out the car I chatted with one of them about siblings. And she ended up asking if she could give me a hug and I always love that. What a sweetheart. Once I walked them out I went to the back to start doing supplies. It was a nice hour cleaning oysters and telling stories.

But I was ready to go home. I wasn't tired yet but I knew I would be soon.

When I got home I would fall apart pretty fast. James was on the couch and after I got changed I would join them. They made me a quesadilla and we worked on booking our honeymoon!!

We did our little trip to DC. Our mini-moon. But this will be the big one. We are going in May. And it's going to be a pretty incredible trip. We were between two. But with the budget we have we went with the one that doesn't stop in Montana. We'll do a Montana trip another time. But this one is going to go from Chicago to Seattle, then we take a cruise to Alaska and back to Seattle. With a few stops at different ports. And we were right in budget and the cruise has at least two rainforest excursions and we found at least two places to eat in the different towns. And two different thrift stores because I think it will be funny to buy thrift store stuff while traveling. If we have to mail things homes so be it.

We took a lot of notes. Wrote down a bunch of things. It's really exciting!! And once that was done I was just like. Hey. This was fun. But also now I feel very tired.

I got in bed and just watched videos for a while. But I gave maybe if a time to get up. And would start going through my closet to make some outfits and out some more Halloween and fall stuff away. James went to the store but before they left they started the bread machine for the first time!! They had had a slight panic that the mixing paddle was missing but I had just put it in the drawer so that tragedy was avoided and in a few hours we would have bread!

While they were gone I would put the dishes away and clean out the fridge. And bake my pumpkin seeds. Which smelled great. I was feeling good.

James would get home and finish the staffs for camp. And I would keep working on organizing the closet. Moving seasonal things around. Hanging my layering shirts so that I remember I have them and to wear them so I'm not cold. I kept joking that I was going to pack for our honeymoon now. But Jess and James think 178 days early is to early. Which is fair.

Jamess bread came out so nice. Maybe a little sweet? But it smelled great. And we would basically just rest the rest of the night. Daylights savings is always hard in me and apparently very hard on James too.

But we are still going to try to wake up to see the eclipse. And tomorrow I don't have to be at work until 1. So I get to have a chill morning. I am looking forward to it.

I hope you all have a good night's rest. Sleep well. Take care of yourself!!

[starvette]

T 34/90 fuck I'm not really Kitavan anymo

Hey. The third of July was so stormy I slept like a puppy without a care in the world. Some very good stuff happened. I didn't sleep for a day which messed me the hell up and I was once more can't-lift-my-arm-up exhausted for the next two days. But I want to write now because I have a new action in mind.

I'm going to be standing or walking as much as possible first for the next week and then for another week. Now, since this will be very difficult and change my routines I thought I must blog about it. I will have to finally surrender the incessant reading. I mean I can still read on laptop, it's just more difficult. I guess I'll pretend I became Ali and moved to a horse farm and now run around all day (although you do sit when you ride a horse...) or I became a nurse, or I got a job at H&M, or I became nineteen year old waitress Lana, or went to K-pop idol camp. I realize that living this way indoors at all times might get unbearable so I'm prepared to put on UVmune and head out during the day. Just doing all this for the so far incurable KP. It hasn't budged an inch and it's fucking distressing. I'm most worried that I did this to myself with those failed laser treatments. They may have killed my oil glands. What if I'm like those poor bastards who LASIKd their eyeballs?

Last evening (it's a little past midnight now) I got Haribo strawberries. They were incredible at first, and then whatever. Then I watched Lilja for twelve minutes but it was enough to get me down. People weren't fucking kidding when they said it's a bummer. The candies with tea were meant as my preworkout and, hey, it worked, but Lilja got me scared of jogging at nearly midnight.

What happened with kitavaning? It's a mess. I've been eating sweets or fruit and then running or at least biking or dancing soon after. That would be fine as I indeed get energized and don't bloat, but still it's been fucking hard to coordinate sleeping, eating, shopping and then running at the right time. But then, everything changed when I heard San Millan explain that zone two training is where you burn more fat than glucose! So then I'm not even supposed to OD on sugar before training? See, I went on my first 'zone two' run and it turned out a damn slow pace and even that may have been too fast. It was so much easier than the hell I usually put myself through that I really may not even need to sugarize beforehand. And he did train a champion, he's the real deal! I tried to understand the biochem behind it but it went over my head. I realized I have to sit (stand) through those conversations in small increments with a pen and paper. But from what I gathered so far metabolically healthiest people primarily burn fat for fuel. And it's not because they're on keto diet, they just run or bike a lot. Before I heard that, I thought I could binge on sugar as long as I become an athlete and burn it off.

I have much to do and I'm not even allowed to sit down and it's been two hours since I ate those candies so I really bloody need to go bike them off.

I've been getting what seem like sugar crashes. First I feel faint, then I get pale and hot, and sweaty, and finally have to go lie down. Well, I got one again, while biking. First I felt funny, then I feared falling off my bike and cracking my skull - you know, all in the name of good health, then I got hot and had to take off my hood and open my jacket a little, got a little sweat on my lip, had to slow down, and then finally step off and walk, especially up any slope I encountered. It was bad and I didn't have my wallet so I couldn't just go get a vending machine hot chocolate. Eventually I got better and biked home full speed covered in cold sweat. I was so smelly I had to shower. Recuperated with Valsoia vegan seed oil ice cream which I'd sadly left out to thaw a tad too long. Should've done three hours instead of four. So that was an imperfect binge. I've had a total of two of those boxes and I'm scared it will become a problem. It tastes like cake without all the biscuit stuff. One thing I've decided I will stick with iron lady style is the three months off gluten. I accidentally got far (19 days) with it and now failure is not an option. Great deterrent when I want cake or wafers or, geez, especially pastries. But the sad thing is, gluten free is not gonna do fuck all.

I realize now that I hadn't eaten anything since 10AM in the morning. Then that tiny baggy of Haribo twelve hours later. Maybe that was the actual cause for the crash?

Yesterday I had the worst craving for LIDL currant sorbet while watching The Idol finale. Like, it couldn't be just currant sorbet either. It had to come with the The Idol. I killed many an hour writhing in my cravings, waiting for the torrent to drop. Well, I ate it and saw the finale, and even danced for an hour after! Two hours go by - sudden sugar crash. I was dumbfounded.

I didn't burn the ice cream, just fell asleep for two hours to Lava Lamp playlist. Woke up intermittently hearing some angelic shit. It was nice.

So, in the light of this San Millan stuff and my sugar crashes, I should probably quit the sweet stuff again. I think I will eat canned beans for a preworkout three, maybe four hours before running. After all, hunter gatherers don't eat candy nor fake ice cream and they can still run. Notably, I just saw mime reporting that zone two runs worsened his VO2 max whereas prior zone four or so runs had steadily increased it. He has an Apple watch so he can measure fun shit like that.

I ruined the rest of the day, starting ten in the morning. I laid on my side (a new favorite hobby), then got a third box of that ice cream and swore up and down I'll never have it again. Binged on that after a two hour thaw. Turned out that it never thaws to a perfect consistency, but it was still nice. Then I felt like potato chips and Kardashians so, what the hell, I got two giant expensive vegan bags. Then I fell asleep. Woke up, finished ice cream leftovers with coffee. And it was still fucking delicious. Yeah. But I'll tell you the reason for all this. The truth is, I'm having mental breakdowns over the KP. I just don't have a plan for it anymore and it's looking fucking hopeless. I don't know why this nightmare refuses to end. It's been probably ten years now.

[sanzusbestie]

Ode to you

❁ Characters : Shinichiro Sano, gn!reader (mentioned), Wakasa, Takeomi, Benkei

❁ Genre : Fluff, crack

❁ Warnings : None

❁ Summary : Shinichiro talks about you and love to his friends

❁ A/n : Idk what I'm doing lmao

"Thanks for looking after the store," Shinichiro said, entering his bike shop. "I really needed to get these before the flower shop closed," be proudly waved the bouquet he held in his right hand.

"Don't agitate them like that, dumbass, you'll ruin them. Anyway, who are they for ?" Benkei asked.

"Your mom."

Before the (fake) offended look of his friend, the oldest Sano added, "Y/n, obviously."

Putting the flowers away, he went behind the counter.

"Any clients when I wasn't here ?"

"Yeah, a few," Wakasa answered, "So, Shin, things are getting serious with Y/n huh ?"

"Things were always serious with Y/n. By the way, Takeomi. Tell Senju that I'll never go to that flower shop again. That woman there made me look like a complete and utter idiot !"

"You always look like a complete and utter idiot. What happened ?"

"Hello ! How may I help you ?" She smiled.

"I... uh... yes. I'd like to buy flowers," he explained, playing with his fingers.

"How convenient ! I would've had a hard time if you asked for brownies !"

Did she sincerely think she was funny ?

Shinichiro chose to ignore him.

He cleared his throat and repeated, "Things were always serious with Y/n."

"Tell us something about them."

He looked at Keizo for a few seconds before taking a deep breath.

"You know, friends, every man has in his heart a void, a cut, a feeling of abandonment and loneliness."

"Yeah, I bet you had an entire sinkhole," Imaushi mockingly said.

"Laugh out loud. But to be happy, I believe you have to have suffered before. I believe that resisting misfortune gives you a chance to win happiness."

He never had the courage to confess his love to you. Some days he thought you were in love with him, but how could he be sure ? Above all, he did not feel up to a refusal. He loved you too much for that.

He'll never understand and believe how it's actually thanks to these three idiots that he now could call himself your boyfriend.

"What the fuck are you talking about ?!" Takeomi burst out laughing. "Shin plays philosophers now ! What a load of crap !"

His laugh suddenly turned into a coughing fit and no one moved to get him some water.

"I could've died !" he exclaimed once he was done.

"But you didn't, unfortunately," Shinichiro mumbled.

"Anyway, Shin, you want to add something else ?"

Shinichiro smiled. Under his scary looks, Keizo Arashi was the best friend everybody needed. He was so kind and funny, always there when you need him always ready to listen to anything you want to say...

But, at this very moment, if he was being really honest, Benkei only wanted to laugh a bit more.

"Well, uh..." he sheepishly began, "It's nice out, like... the weather is good."

"What now ?" Akashi giggled, tears in his eyes.

Shinichiro closed his eyes and yelled.

"The day someone loves you is a beautiful day ! I can't say better, it's a beautiful day !"

Imaushi saw how Takeomi's mouth fastly opened. He was sure the bystanders outside the store could hear his raucous laughter.

What Shinichiro wanted to say but couldn't was that being with you sometimes was like a whirlwind that amazes him like a merry-go-round ride during childhood.

Sometimes a whirlwind of love and drunkenness, when you fall asleep in each other's arms in a bed that is too narrow and then you have breakfast at noon because you've made love for a long time.

Sometimes a devastating whirlwind, a violent typhoon that seeks to drag you to the bottom when, caught by the storm, you understand you'll have to face a gigantic wave.

But, as long as you were by his side, he could face anything. He wasn't scared.

Takeomi, who was now on the floor due to his incessant laughing, had calmed down a little.

"How stupid you can be when you're in love."

"Shin always was stupid," Wakasa retorted.

❁ Taglist : @eriskaitto

[bunny-lou]

For some reason I feel like the film isn’t the first time finn has experienced some surpernatiral cause his dad says ‘that goes for you too’ after hitting gwen a den telling her her dreams are just dreams and she has no powers..I think it’s more of a case that his powers are more subtle/not as strong/less distrustive to his life as hers or maybe cause finn has a quiet or understated personality so he just doesn’t adknowledge them…imo it also doesn’t seem that he seems surprised that he can talk to the dead during the film? Like maybe it wasn’t as evident or strong cause he didn’t have the phone to act as a foundation totem but maybe he heard a whisper hear it there or saw something supernatural as he grew up? Also Do you think finn can still see and talk to ghosts after the film is done?

Warnings for a discussion of a film/short story called The Black Phone, which deals with a young boy being abducted and abused by a much older man. This response discusses the abuse toward the young boy.

Hey, I answered a very similar question here :)

Finney at the very least has experience into the supernatural because of Gwen (and his mother). Finney knows Gwen has special dreams and even asks her to use her ability to try to help find Robin. He sees his father beat her because even a grown man is afraid of what she sees. Finney is not surprised by these dreams at all and this doesn't seem to be the first time Terrence has been upset with what Gwen sees.

On top of that, we know Finney's mom was special too. (Interesting to note, we have two different scenes of Gwen and Terrence discussing their mother/wife, but she is never mentioned by Finney at any point, even just a reference to her. I'll have to dive more into that one of these days.) Finney and Gwen's mom even killed herself because of what she saw. Finney, at the very least understands supernatural things are real and can happen.

While I'm sure he's shocked to be speaking to the dead, Finney is already accustomed to weird shit happening because of his family. He's much more calm than the normal young boy learning of the occult.

Even in the original short story, it's implied Finney has a supernatural connection with his sister. There is a very detailed scene where he imagines her riding around on her bike looking for him and all the things she must see. We later learn that his imagination is correct and the things he imagined his sister seeing were all real things that she saw in real life.

I think gender has a small role to play in it. It's interesting to me that Gwen and her mother have more fleshed out abilities than what Finney does. His 'specialness' only comes from the phone, as if he needs a conduct for his ability (kind of like a magic wand. It doesn't give him his power, but lets him channel it). Gwen and her mom don't need anything to use for themselves. Plus, I think spiritualism and femininity go better together than spiritualism and masculinity. Like, I got Carrie vibes from the discussion of their mother and the short story was written by Stephen King's son. Their mother had abilities that scared people around her, even her family, even herself, and led to her demise. In Carrie, she gets her powers after beginning her menstrual cycle, after 'becoming a woman'.

I dunno man, it's 1:30 am here and I just got back from a party honestly. My thoughts may be everywhere.

I think Finney can speak to the dead after the film, but it's hard. I think the phone itself was a big help to him. Also, the fact that the dead reached out to him. Not the other way around. Finney did not seek out supernatural shit, it sought him out. I like to think all the boys found peace after the Grabber died and got to move on. But other spirits wandering the earth or ghosts or monsters or whatever, they can talk to Finney if they initiate the contact. Finney's ability is not as strong as Gwen's and he needs help from the supernatural to harness it.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ MY OTHER HALF ❜

✨ REQUEST: nose si voy tarde però bueno, espero que no. i would like to request (obviously if that is okay for you) a headcanon with angel x reader of the day of their wedding, like súper súper fluffy.

✨ MADE BY: @artofvamps

WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ Especial thanks to my lovely @angelreyesgirl for helping me with this wonderful masterpiece 🖤✨

❚❙ GIF credits: to the amazing @angels-reyes.

❚❙ ANGEL REYES MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

Never in your life you could think about having a most perfect wedding, Angel didn't care about it too much, being enough for him to see you happy.

The most magical place you have ever been. Especially when the sun is almost falling, around five pm.

From the window of his room, you can see the backyard perfectly decorated by Creeper and Riz. They didn't lie when they told you that would be amazing.

White and red roses everywhere, forming vines wrapping the wooden beams of the altar. Over the guests' chairs, there are six fairy lights, giving some more intimacy when the night has come; and a red carpet in the hallway, over the grass.

All your friends are there, mixed with the Mayans, waiting for you.

Your hands are trembling, alone in Taza's room, while you hear some voices and laughs outside. You can't help but take another look of yourself in the mirror.

The white dress fits your body perfectly, falling from your chest to the floor.

The girl at the shop called it ‘a-line wedding dress’. You don't care about the name, but about the fact that you look like the most beautiful girl. Your hair is tied on top of your head, behind a delicate silver tiara and small red crystals in it. Soft make-up, that Bishop's Old Lady did for you, just like your future husband likes.

Felipe is run of words when he comes to the room, but you can see what he thinks in his eyes, about to cry.

You know that he would like that Marisol could see you marrying her son. She would love to see the man Angel turned himself into since he met you three years ago.

“Hey, I’m Angel Reyes, and you know what? You’ll be my wife one day”.

He wasn’t wrong.

But he’s not going to lie. He has been the whole night having nightmares about you running away from him; about you deciding that you didn’t want a life with him.

Ezekiel and Coco have been awake too, comforting him whenever the doubts hit his mind.

Holding Felipe’s arm, he guides you downstairs to the outside, feeling your legs shaking and your heart about to explode. You have doubts too. You’re scared of him taking a step back at the last moment.

Although every bad feeling disappears from the two of you, as soon as you lay eyes with each other.

Angel is about to cry. So are you.

For you, for him, there's no one else around your orbit. Just the two of you. Him waiting at the wedding altar, watching you walk over the red carpet perfectly placed on the ground.

And, damn. You thought that Angel couldn't look better, until you have seen him wearing that suit.

A black suit, covering the immaculate white shirt under a silver waistcoat with mayan symbols tissues in it. His hair is perfectly brushed to the back of his head and his beard is giving you desires of kissing it.

Seriously, it should be illegal to look this good.

But the detail that steals all your attention is the fact that he isn't wearing his characteristics rings. That big silver cross in his right pinkie and a signet ring with the Virgin of Guadalupe in his ring finger.

Felipe kisses your cheek, to intertwine his son's hand with yours.

You can't help but use your free hand to clean the tears falling down his cheeks, making Angel chuckles softly. You are always taking care of him with the most minimal details, showing him how much you love him, before leaning forward to kiss the tip of his nose.

“You changed me. You changed my life. You came with that smile, illuminating all the darkness around me. You've accepted me, advised me, shown me the road to happiness, put me first. You've never, ever, judged me. You've healed me, you've healed my wounds, my soul, my heart. You gave me the opportunity I always thought I would never have… You, mi reina, have loved me unconditionally without asking for anything back. I don't have enough words to express how I feel every morning when I wake up with you under my arms, when I kiss you, when I see you dancing in our kitchen, when you… look me with these beautiful eyes as if I was the fucking Big Bang happening in front of you”. Bringing your hands to his mouth, Angel kisses every knuckle of them. “I can't imagine a single day without you, without hearing your laugh, without reading your texts desiring me a good day when you wake up and I'm already gone. I don't wanna live a single day without hearing you singing in the shower, without riding my bike with you behind my back, without you smacking my ass and screaming ‘daaaamn, this is all mine’! You make me happy like no one could do. You make me feel important like no one could do. And I promise you, fuck… I swear it to God, that I'm gonna give you all of me. Every second of every minute, of every hour of every day till the end of my time. I don't want to live without you”.

Now, it's Angel who has to clean your tears, causing some laughs between the guests. And he can't help but wrap you with his arms in a tight, tight hug. The warmest and dearly hug he has ever given you.

“I didn't know what love was until I met you. I didn't know which was the meaning of life until I met you. Mi rey. My other half. It was you, and only you, since I saw you the first time sitting on your bike, smoking and with that face of grumpy idiot”. The guests laugh again, because they all know that pose. “And then you standed up and started to walk, and I thought ‘what the hell is wrong with his leg’”. More laughs. The loudest comes from your future husband. “But I would never change you for anyone else. We've been through bad days and good days. Shitty nights and funny nights. I would never change my life with you for anything else. No one has ever made me happy as you do every moment of my existence. You're the most awesome, incredible, loyal and lovely man I have ever met. You fight for me, you take care of me, you protect me. You make me smile whenever I feel insufficient, whenever I feel sad, whenever I feel that I don't belong anywhere. My home, my life, my happiness is wherever you are, Angel Reyes”.

Then, Taza as the priest looks at the two of you, before guiding his dark eyes towards you. “Would you want to take Angel Ignacio Reyes in hol—”. He can't finish, being interrupted by the man in question clicking his tongue. “Of fucking course she wants”. Gently grabbing your chin with a hand and placing the other on the back of your head, Angel kisses you by pecking your lips, making you laugh.

But Leti breaks the moment, coughing exaggeratedly. You asked her to be the flower girl and she has been practicing the last month, to don’t mess up her task. The most important one, actually.

For the next two hours, you can’t stop looking at your hand tangled with Angel’s, and the two fresh golden rings in your fingers. To other people they could be just two pieces of jewelry, but for you it’s the purest way to show him your love, your support, and your unconditional trust in him.

And for the next two hours, Angel can’t stop kissing your face all around. Going down with furtive kisses on your neck, your shoulder, your knuckles; not being able to take off from you his other arm around your waist, tightly closed to push you next to him.

Coco and Gilly are in charge of the speech, knowing that it’s going to be more funny than you thought, when they get up from their chairs drunk as fuck after too many shots of tequila. “Yo, mami… you really got the golden dick”. “Man!” Gilly punches him on the shoulder, making him strumble with his own feet and having to grab the other’s jacket to not fall. “I’m speaking the truth! Who was gonna think that he would get the girl to this point, ah?” “Not me”. “Me neither”. “You jealous, ah, motherfuckers?” Angel tosses them a napkin, causing the laugh of everyone around you. “Seriously, girl… How you do it to st—”.

“Enough?” Leti whispers to EZ, sitting by her side. The younger Reyes nods in silence, getting up, making Creeper and Riz a sign to take them off from the center of the yard; between curses in spanish and in some kind of invented language because of the alcohol.

“Hey, brother, I just want to tell you that by far this is the happiest moment of my life. You don’t deserve anything but all the love and the affection, and we all know that only her can give it to you”. You’re starting to think that EZ’s purpose is making Angel cry, because his eyes are being filled up with a bunch of tears now. “Our lives haven’t been easy, you know that… And you have put all the weight on your shoulders since ever, but I’m proud of you. Of who you are. Of calling you my brother. Mi sangre. I don’t desire you anything but happiness, Angel”.

“Yeah, and God bless your patience, sister”. Leti can’t help but add that remark, trying to not laugh when she finds you nodding energetically, before kissing your husband’s tears running down his cheek.

The big toast echoes all around the ranch, in the meantime that the prospects from Yuma and Stockton bring the cake. One of them. That’s the main, a three-story cake of black and white chocolate with your names drawn in red. Canche’s wife has made it for you. She’s an amazing pastry.

And you thought that Angel wouldn’t do it. HE PROMISED YOU ONE HUNDRED TIMES.

But that piece of shit were lying,

Stamping a piece of cake on your face, your husband quickly grabs your wrists to avoid you punch him, or do the same to him. As you sob between chuckles, keeping your eyes closed, Angel licks your lips with the tip of his tongue. “Mi dulce, mi favorito”.

“You promised me…”

“Ah, ah… I promised that I wouldn’t smash YOUR face IN the cake. And I didn't”.

After cleaning yourself and changing the heavy dress for another one that fits your silhouette to the perfection, you are ready to give your husband the last surprise of your wedding.

“Are you takin' me to a dark corner?” “Stop asking, Angel… You'll see”.

At the front yard, a baseball bat and a ball awaits. “What's that, baby?”

“Sh… I throw you the ball, and you hit it, okay?”

So there you are, watching Angel in position as in his old times, when he used to play in highschool.

You throw it.

He hits it.

And in just one second, the distance between you gets caught up by a pink powder, almost staining your clothes.

Angel is in shock. The bat falls from his hand. Eyes widened. Parted lips. His skin bristled, as his cheeks got wet again because of the tears.

“Felicidades, papi”.

He can't stop crying, embracing you with all his strength to his chest. Your husband can't believe anything that is happening today. All he has ever wanted is happening in a sight.

“The day we met, you told me that one day I would be your wife. And I told you that you looked like the father of my future children”.

[2amtechnicolor]

Happy Autism Acceptance Day!!

I haven't done a personal post in a while, so I thought I'd type one out for today.

As many of you already know, I am autistic! I had suspected it since I was in high school, but I "officially" got diagnosed last year.

So I thought I'd talk about how autism affects my life, and how I interact with the world. I hope this gives you some insight into how autism presents and how an autistic person thinks!

Disclaimer: I don't require much outside support and I cannot and will not speak for those who do. Please listen to all sorts of autistic people, not just the ones who can communicate in a seemingly neurotypical manner.

Hyperempathy

I thought I'd start off with one of the most misunderstood autism symptoms. It's very common for an autistic person to have low empathy or high empathy, or fluctuate between the two. But because of the stigmatization of low empathy, hyperempathy is thought to be "all good" with no drawbacks.

The best way I saw hyperempathy described is having high "affective" or "emotional" empathy, and low "cognitive" empathy. It basically means we pick up on a whole lot of emotional signals, but have no idea what we're supposed to do with them. WHen I was a kid, I'd cry at the drop of a hat, not just sniffles, but full on screaming in tears.

The two biggest struggles I have with my hyperempathy are hoarding and politics.

With hoarding, I had lots of trouble throwing things out or donating them because I thought I was making them "sad" because I didn't want them anymore. Or, if something was a gift and I wasn't using it, I'd make the gift-giver sad for giving it away. I've begun working through that with some Marie Kondo tips: turning the feelings the objects have into gratitude for helping me and encouragement to help others. If I have lots of trouble throwing something away that needs to go (like old pillows) because of my hyperempathy, I ask someone else to do it when I'm not around so I don't have to see it and I can forget about it. I'm getting a lot better at this as I've grown up and learned more cognitive empathy.

With politics...I just get way too involved in discourse. I have my own opinions, and my own beliefs, but I only bring them up when necessary, and don't go hunting for debates. I have to pick my battles because otherwise I get consumed with anger and sadness and injustice. Instead, I curate my online experience to be safe and uplifting, while directing my feelings of injustice and inequality towards offline work, such as community outreach and volunteer work.

Sensory Issues

I'm incredibly sensitive to a lot of sensations. I'm highly noise sensitive, light sensitive, and pain sensitive, to the point that too much noise, light, or uncomfortable clothing can start to give me migraines.

I usually wear headphones in public, and I keep my lights fairly dim. I'm actually pretty skilled at getting around my house in the dark, which scares my family to no end, but I prefer it.

Pain sensitivity is harder to deal with. I wear clothes that are comfortable (usually tagless, and loose-fitting) and avoid situations where I may get hurt. I do like some adrenaline-inducing things, such as rollercoasters and bike-riding, but that just means I take every safety precaution and go in with the mindset that I may get bumped up a bit if I'm not careful.

I also have sensitivity to certain food textures and general smells. I always feel bad about this one, because it limits where my family can go, and I don't want to insult the chef by not finishing a meal. And with smells...well, my dad likes to clean the carpet regularly with a steamer but the smell makes me nauseous, so I can't even be on the same floor when it's running. A lot of other cleaning supplies affect me the same way if they're too chemically or lemony. We've gotten into fights over this.

Special Interests

I have very particular interests that I LOVE talking about: Video games, kawaii culture and aesthetics, and my OCs. So I get pretty upset when someone misunderstands something or doesn't know everything right away. The majority of my family has completely different interests, so I sometimes feel shut out because of these. Not to mention, because my interests are niche, it's hard to find people in real life to talk to.

This is why I love Tumblr: we're all here to obsess over weirdly specific topics.

Social Interaction

I don't like eye contact. I don't like interacting with people IRL in general without a "script". I'm terrible with names and faces, and get bored of conversation topics easily. When I'm tired, this can result in me seeming disinterested or bored or outright rude to people I'm usually polite to.

I don't mean to be. I just need a lot of time to recharge away from people. I'm usually better at communicating online over text because I can carefully choose and plan what I want to say and I can disconnect at any time.

(This is also why I don't like Tiktok!! My brain treats it as social interaction because of so many faces and I get so burnt out.)

Emotional Dysregulation

Lastly, I have troubling with distress tolerance and regulating my emotions. If something irks me and I know I can "fix" it, it's going to bother me all day. (Example: My waterbottle cap got stuck this morning. I spent 30 minutes trying to get it unstuck, despite having another way to empty and refill it.)

I could be on top of the world one minute and crying the next and then suddenly neutral again. I'm not quick to anger, but when I do, I snap and my family says it's pretty scary.

I'm really good at hiding my emotions on my face, but my brain tends to be a hurricane of feelings. It can be pretty exhausting.

Finally...a quick round up of things I do like about being autistic!

I tend to be fairly reliable since I like following a schedule

Rules are very helpful for me, and I'll rarely try to break them unless I see someone else do it first

My hyperempathy gives me different perspectives on issues, so I don't spend my whole time in a bubble

My sensory issues mean I end up being fairly detail oriented, being about to pick out small inconsistencies in sight, sound, and taste.

I have a brain that seems to be built for picking up useless information. I'm amazing at trivia.

I'm a great listener since I like to follow the "rules" of social interaction

When I'm happy, I'm really, really, really happy!

[introvert--weeb]

I wanted to ask for a match up for tokyo revengers?

I'm 15 turning 16 in one month. My height is 168 cm and I really like playing cards? like betting with family, friends or people I meet in bars.

I really like going out, but if I want I can stay locked up in my room for weeks, I don't feel the need to go out here.

When I walk around alone, I never feel safe with people around, but if I am in a club where there is a party I am also fine. (I don't even understand why but ok).

i don't really have an aestetic, as i change very easily, i go from choker to suit and tie (?) in no time.

I always try to save as much money as I can, as I'm not a fan of spending a lot on some things, but for others I don't even hold back.

Regarding aspects of characteristics, sometimes I have anger problems, and other times I'm a little self-centered, and I don't even realize it. But even if I admit that I am wrong, I would never be able to make another person win in a fight. My mbti is ESTJ btw.

I tend to lag behind with jokes, I still like old jokes that everyone hates by now. And I have a hard time figuring out if the other person is bothering me or not, so if it's someone close to me, I don't make jokes like that.

Let’s say i have some traumas myself with people leaving me.

For many people, at the first meeting, I seem like a very tough person, who doesn't take shit from anyone, but sometimes I also have my breakdown moments.

Feel free to ignore all this poem, and i’m sorry for any mistakes, english isn’t my first language so yes:D. Have a great day/evening/night!💖

You sound really interesting! ❤️

I will match you with...

Ryohei Hayashi (Peh) ❤️

Ah, so this relationship is a strange one. You had both met by chance. Pah-chin had heard about a girl who was winning bets against his underlings so had gone with Peh-yan to check it out. After all, you couldn't have Pah without Peh.

To the boy's surprise, you sat on a stool with a box in-between where you sat and your opponent was placed. Cards were scattered over the surface with a pile of what could only be the betting prize to the left of the cards. Peh watched in curiosity alongside Pah as you proceeded to win and collect the money.

Peh even wanted to try against you and eventually lost as well. But surprisingly, he had no hard feelings and instead started a conversation, forgetting why he was there in the first place. The conversation itself was mainly surrounding your 'business' you had running and about interests you may have outside of card games.

It would go the way every relationship goes. You exchanged numbers after the conversation, hung out when you both had free time to do so, and after a few months, you were dating. Although, Peh had made an effort in how he asked you out. Personal headcanon that he is a romantic at heart when he wants to be. And so, he had taken you on a late night bike ride to the river bank. Taking your hands in his, he confessed his feelings under the stars to which he was over the moon when you reciprocated them.

Peh would never admit that he fell for you seemed to be like a jawbreaker. Hard and tough exterior while being all soft and sweet on the inside. He loved how he had gotten lucky enough to know about the softer side of you when others could only see the exterior.

A relationship with Peh is definitely one filled with memes, jokes and chill hang out sessions either alone or with Pah-chin. You had actually gotten close enough to Pah where you could join in with your boyfriend on the loving insults about his intelligence. There were even competitions between you and Peh about who could make up the best comment. He would usually win.

Peh understood how you liked to save your money and so dates would be either free or he would pay like the gentleman he is. Walks around the park are his favourite type of date with you. He would hold you close as you both cracked jokes or talked about what was happening in your lives. And then, to tie it all off, he would buy you both an ice cream. Perfect date.

I feel Peh-yan could deal with your anger problems the best. After all, he has had to babysit Pah-chin for years so he is used to the sudden bursts of anger or annoyance. Just know that he will never take your anger personally, instead just taking it as you having a bad day and then trying to sort that out. Were you hungry? He has your favourite snacks stocked up in his room. Tired? You best get ready for this boy to wrap you in his arms and cuddle you until you fall asleep. Anything that will help you calm down again.

All in all, I think this relationship would work well. Peh might not be the strongest (although he is definitely up there with the best of them) or most handsome of the Toman guys but he has a heart of gold and a sense of humour. He is fiercely loyal to those he cares about so you would never have to fear him leaving you. In fact, he is probably more scared you will leave him for someone better. So please make sure you give this sweet boy a lot of reassurance and he will give it back tenfold.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hi ao idk if your matchups are still open but I would just like to send mine just in case and if you they are closed, could you do mine when you open them?🥺 ANYWAYS. Imma introduce myself :)

My name is Cecilia, and my pronouns are she/they! I am a Aries, im Bi and im a ENFP. When it comes to the physical aspects, I am 5'8, I have brown hair, brown eyes and I have freckles on my face. Also I'm kinda blind lol I use glasses bc I can't see shit without them 😃. I'm chubby and I have the fear of accidentally squishing people if I sit on their laps or if they carry me 😀. When someone meets me for the first time you will either get the first impression that im a rude and sarcastic person that doesn't care about anyone and I will kill you OR I am one of the nicest human beings that you will ever meet on the planet earth. There isn't really a in-between. BUT, usually when I warm up to people I can be really chaotic and fun, tho I am really sarcastic so people really won't be able to save themselves from my snarky remarks :) . I really like to listen to music, read, ride my bike,, write poetry, play video games and watch movies (preferably romantic movies or horror movies). I also enjoy learning new languages and for now I speak 3 (Spanish (which is my native one), English and Russian. I'm trying to learn Japanese). I hate strawberries and thunderstorms. UwU idk if you take preferences for what characters people want for matchups, but my preferences are yaku, suna, yamaguchi, or akaashi.

Ok thanks ily and take care! 🥺💓

@scftfairyking

Romantic Matchup

Suna Rintarou

A/N Ok so he was actually a candidate for your matchups so when you said he was one of your preferences I was like why not 👀

How Y’all Met

So you we’re actually Atsumus gaming buddy

You guys were a very chaotic duo 😊

but you guys would often just play video games together

So when Suna ACTUALLY agreed to come play video games at his house with him

He thought he would invite you too

Yk for shits and giggles

Things started off pretty smoothly

Y’all just played Mario kart together

Then the smack talk started...

You started throwing little jabs about Sunas playing

Which started to rile him up

Causing the game to get a little...intense

Honestly Atsumu didn’t even know what was happening anymore

One minute y’all were laughing together

But now you could cut the tension with a knife

Eventually it was just you and suna going head to head in the game

Unfortunately a text from your parents distracted you for a split second and he won 😔

You had to go home anyways so you started to pack your stuff

But before leaving the house you pointed at suna and said

“Nice playing, but you just got lucky. I’ll beat you next time”

And left

If you had stayed a little longer you would’ve seen the pink that dusted Sunas cheeks 👀

Before he took his leave he asked suna for your number

Which earned him a couple of teases from the blonde twin

But in the end he got it

And the first thing he sent you was a challenge to 8 ball

And the text

“You said you’d beat me next time, so let’s see about that”

Which began the start of your glorious friendship

Eventuality poor Atsumu got replaced as your gamer buddy

And suna took his place 👀

Suna had feelings for you since he first met you

But never said anything

But a certain blabber mouth twin did...

Atsumu had noticed how much you two we’re hanging out

So being the little snitch he is ratted his friend out

He literally just flat out told you that suna liked you

This info was obviously a little shocking

But you wouldn’t deny that you were a little pleased 👀

You’ve also developed feelings for suna

So YOU confessed to HIM

And of course he agreed 🙄

What They Love About You

He loves how sassy you are

This mans can be a sassy little shit too

So it’s cool that he found someone who can match his energy

And take a couple of teases every now and then

Awww

He loves your freckles

He legit thinks their the cutest thing ever

Oh and he LOVES your height

It’s just perfect in comparison to his

Hugs are never awkward yk

Favorite Things To Do Together

Omg

He loves to watch horror movies with you

Like full on horror movie marathons

Oof and god forbid you actually get scared

Because first of all he’ll tease the shit out of you

But then he’ll go on about how he’ll “protect you”

He still likes to play video games with you!

But be warned...

These moments get VERY competitive

He also just likes to chill with you and listen to music

Every time you do that you get to pick a song then he gets to pick a song

Fun timessss

Random Hc

His favorite horror movie is The Shining

For ONE reason only

Because you always get a little jittery after watching it

So he loves to just pop out from behind a corner and yell

HERES JOHNNY

He honestly thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

He was this 🤏 close to beating the s h i t out of Atsumu for telling you how he felt

But he didn’t

Cause he ended up with you ❤️

He will literally pick you up outta NOWHERE

just to get a reaction out of you 🥲

Astrology

When Aries and Aquarius come together in a love match, the combination of Aquarius vision and Aries action makes them a highly creative pair.

Their relationship is anything but static; they can be competitive, but life with these two is never dull!

Zodiac Signs that are two apart tend to have a special connection, and these are no exception.

They are great friends as they communicate really well.

They have a special understanding of one another’s idealistic, enthusiastic outlook on life.

They both crave excitement and new experiences — the wilder and stranger, the better.

They’re both into thrills and showing off.

Many Aries-Aquarius relationships are based on mutual admiration.

Aries loves how unique Aquarius is, their inventive vision of the world; Aquarius loves Aries for their energy and initiative — Aquarius gets new ideas all the time but sometimes finds it hard to carry them out.

Since both Signs prize independence, Aries’s tendency toward possessiveness can push Aquarius to become aloof or detached as a self-preservation tactic.

Though they have that special connection, they do see the world in very different lights, which they both need to understand.

Aries can be too involved for Aquarius’s taste, and Aquarius in turn may be too unpredictable for Aries.

As it turns out, Aquarius is the one Sign that has Aries beat when it comes to spontaneity!

As long as both partners reassure each other that the relationship is important and secure, things will be just fine.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge

My Ordinary Life - The Living Tombstone

Verbatim - Mother Mother

DVD - Robbie Jet

IFHY - Tyler The Creater

[whispering-raine]

Heartbreak - A Sanders Sides oneshot

((TWS: HEART BREAK (yes that means that Patton is affected), PANIC ATTACK, BEING SICK, BLOOD, FEVER, PUKE, MENTIONS OF AN ARGUMENT, DESCRIPTIVE GORE/WOUNDS, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, BLOODY ARTWORK AT THE END

3rd person POV:

Roman awoke, his eyes fluttering open as he examined his surroundings. He had fallen asleep in Pattons room the night before, so this was different from the normal scenery that covered the room he would usually wake up in. Family photos of the sides displayed in picture frames, kids toys lying everywhere but his desk, which was covered in random pieces of paper and probably a few recipes for cookies and other treats. Pattons room had become Romans safe space, and vise versa.

"Good morning, my dear~" Roman whispered, giving Patton a small kiss on his forehead. Patton gave a happy hum in his sleep, a soft smile following.

But something was off. His forehead was just a bit warmer than usual. His cheeks were tinted just a bit more pink than he was used to seeing. Roman sent a sympathetic look over towards the sleeping boy, walking out of the room.

He walked towards the bathroom down the hall, teaching into the medicine cabinet and grabbing a thermometer. He walked back, Patton still sleeping and hugging a stuffed animal.

Sweat was beaded on his face, which still held a tired smile, disregarding the shape he was in. Roman was careful to be quiet, holding the speaker of the thermometer to muffle the noise as he swiped the metal across Pattons forehead quickly. 102.1*

He muttered a quick "Shit." before taking the thermometer back to the bathroom. He quickly washed it off with warm water, putting the cap back on and placing it in the medicine cabinet.

He rushed out to the kitchen, in which he saw Logan typing away on his phone and almost chugging his daily cup of black coffee.

"Logan." Roman addressed the logical side. Logan almost immediately noticed the uneasy look on Romans face.

"Ah, good morning Roman. Is something the matter?" Logan questioned, putting his almost empty cup to the side and turning off his phone, setting it down on the table quietly.

"Yeah, yeah something is the matter. Can individual sides get sick?" His breathing was starting to get out of pattern.

"Well, yes, I suppose so. Are you feeling unwell?" Logan said in a concerned tone, walking over to Roman and reaching up to place a hand on his forehead. Roman politely moved Logans hand away with his own.

"No, actually, Patton has a fever and I was making sure that this was normal."

"Patton?" Logan questioned curiously. Roman nodded, confirming what Logan had once been so curious about. Logan seemed to think for a second, adjusting his glasses quickly and standing up straighter, although gay.

"Well Nico and Thomas got into a bit of an argument last night, so that may be the cause of it. But I'll do some more research in a little while to do a better and more proper diagnosis." Logan said, sitting back down and taking another sip of his coffee.

"Thanks, Nerd." Roman said before leaving, going back to Pattons room. He was going to make Patton feel better no matter the cost. He walked back into his room, the door creaking the slightest. Roman sighed, a sad smile curling on his lips. He layed down next to his beloved, wrapping arms around him and giving him the softest hug he could manage.

"Mm," Patton hummed, slowly waking up.

"Hello darling.." Roman whispered, rubbing the smaller ones back lightly.

"Are you feeling alright? You have a fever.." Roman asked as he awaited patiently for a response.

Patton could only manage a small shake of his head, leaning farther into Romans touch. "I-Is...everyone else okay though..?" Patton slurred, his words muffled by Romans shirt.

"I'm pretty sure. I haven't checked on everyone, but Logan and I feel okay." Patton responded with a nod, almost falling back asleep in Romans arms.

But he was awoken by the voice again, "Would you like me to make you some tea...?" Patton thought for a moment, before giving a small nod.

"But I can make it myself. I don't want you to waste too much time on me." He insisted, tiredly rolling off of Roman to sit up. He leaned back on his palms, repressing a yawn. Roman sat up with him, putting an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his upper arm.

"You're in no condition to be doing that yourself. I can get it for you, I promise." Patton slid his hand over Romans, intertwining their fingers silently.

"I'll be fine."

"No you won't." Patton let out a chuckle, smiling up at Roman.

"Ro, I'm fine. I'll get right back into bed after I get my tea."

"Fine. Then let me see you stand on your own."

Patton grabbed his glasses off of the nightstand, slipping them on. Roman helped Patton to a standing position, holding him as if he were a kid learning how to ride a bike. Roman finally let go, although only inches apart from the swaying boy. Pattons knees immediately buckled, falling into Romans chest with barely any control of his own body.

"See? I'm fine!" Patton joked, lifting only his head from Romans chest. Roman couldn't help but smile at the smaller boy.

"And this is why I'm making your tea for you."

Patton let out a whine, burying his face back into Romans shirt. The both wrapped their arms around each other, Pattons hung down at Romans waist; and Romans wrapped around his shoulders.

"Come on, let me get you back into bed."

Patton gave in at this point, allowing Roman to pick him up and gracefully lay him back down onto the soft covers.

"I'll be right back."

Patton layed on his bed, trying to stop the world from spinning around him as he focussed on a stain on the ceiling. A few extra minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt, would it? Patton let his heavy eyelids shut as he curled into a ball, trying to get comfortable. He was almost immediately woken up by Roman walking in, holding a glass of tea. The glass had a cat paw pattern on it. It was always Pattons favorite.

"Hello my darling~" Romans voice rang throughout the room once again, placing the cup of tea on the bedside table.

"Hi, honey.." Patton mumbled, rolling over to face Roman. Roman smiled softly, laying down next to Patton.

"Cuddles?" Patton asked, holding his arms out and doing grabby hands. Roman couldn't help but blush at this, sweeping him into his arms and holding him. Patton giggled quietly, smiling and blushing.

"Do you know anything about what happened last night?" Roman spoke up.

"No, is everything okay?" Patton immediately grew concerned.

"Well Thomas and Nico got into a bit of an..argument...late last night." Realization struck Patton like a brick. He finally realized why he felt so horrible. Heartbreak. Then why hadn't the cracks shown up yet?

"Do you have a mirror I can borrow?" Patton asked, sitting up and rolling off of Roman.

"What?" Roman was beyond confused.

"It's complicated! I just need a mirror and quick!" Patton began to shake, worrying about almost everything at the exact moment. This has only happened one other time, and Patton was lucky to survive it. But that was years ago. Patton didn't know if he'd make it through this one. Heartbreak. Such a literal term in the sense of sides.

"I think there's a handheld one on my desk, but that's all the was across the hall. You'd be better off just going to the bathroom." Patton nodded, slowly getting up.

"Are you sure you're okay to walk? I don't want you getting hurt. I can go with you if-"

"I'm fine," He reassured, stumbling quickly out of the room. That left behind a very worried and confused Roman.

Patton ran to the bathroom, holding the wall as he did so. He slammed the door shut, making sure to lock it as he leaned on the marble counter. He brushed his bangs out of his face with his hand, seeing the smallest crack, starting at his hairline and going down onto his forehead.

"Shoot.."

Patton knew that when something like this happened, Virgil was always affected. Whether Thomas is anxious that Nico doesn't love him as much as he used to, or he's scared that they're going to break up, Virgil is going to be affected to some degree. Patton made sure to put his bangs back in place, going out of the bathroom and towards Virgils room.

He creeked open the door, not trying to scare his dark strange son. Virgils head shot up as soon as he heard the quiet noise. He took off his headphones in a rush as he paused his music.

"Hey Kiddo, can I come in..?" Patton asked gently, peeking his head in. Virgil could only nod and hum, not trusting his voice. Patton walked in, closing the door behind him.

"Hey, Pat." Virgil mumbled, his voice slightly distorted. The father figure was leaning on the door frame, keeping his balance. Patton gave a small wave, walking over to his bed and trying not to collapse on the way.

"Dad, are you alright? Last night Thomas-" Virgil said quickly, before Patton cut him off. Patton stayed silent, but moved his hand up to shove his bangs back and show the small crack - soon to grow bigger - to Virgil. Virgil let out a gasp, he swore his heart stopped for a second.

"I-It can't be happening again...! No! I-I won't let it happen!" Virgil had started crying. Patton let out a choked cough, before wiping Virgils tears away with the other hand. The only thing that could be heard was Virgils rapid breathing, until Patton spoke once again.

"I'm going to be okay Kiddo. Relax. Take a breather." He said as he held Virgils face. His own dizziness almost made him fall over as he scooted towards the scared and anxious boy. Virgil nodded, trying to get his breath back to normal. Patton put an arm around Virgil, rubbing his back in the slightest.

"Here Virge, copy my breathing." Patton took a deep, exaggerated breath, trying not to cough. Patton whispered small reassurances, such as "It's going to be okay." or "Breathe,".

They seemed to be working as Virgil slowly calmed down. Once Virgil could finally breathe again, he layed his head into Pattons shoulder, in which Patton brought up a hand to stroke his hair quietly.

"What if something bad happens to you?" Virgil mumbled, playing with his hoodie sleeves.

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Kiddo." Patton said in a tone that was at least one octave down from his normal, cheery one.

It was too serious. And it scared Virgil.

"But Dad..." His voice began to distort again, "...I don't think I can live without you..." This brought on a whole new wave of tears for Virgil.

"Oh Kiddo... C'mere.. It's going to be okay.." Patton said as he wrapped his arms around Virgil as tight as he could without hurting him. Virgil gripped onto one of those arms as if Patton would disappear if he didn't. Patton could feel the crack expanding down towards his eyebrow, something he'd have to cover up later with makeup. But he decided to ignore it for now. Although a tear escaped his eye, he still managed to keep a calm smile on his face.

Meanwhile, Roman was talking with Logan in the kitchen once again.

"I guess I'm just...worried? The last time Patton was sick like this was..." Roman said, trying to remember when the time he was referencing was. Then it hit him, "Thomas' last breakup." It was almost under his shaking breath.

"What're you guys talking about?~" Remus sang, walking in with Janus.

"Oh! Janus! Just the guy I needed to see!" Logan exclaimed, ignoring Remus completely.

"Hm?" Janus cocked an eyebrow, confused but still paying careful attention.

"You were there at Thomas' and Nicos fight, correct?"

But Patton overheard everything. Of course it was Janus who would've been in the fight. He probably caused it in the first place. Another piece of his forehead cracked, leaving a terrible sight. He actually trusted Janus for once. And he was mad at himself for it.

A few minutes passed of overthinking and hugging Virgil. Patton, lost in his thought, barely even heard the small curse that came out of Virgils mouth.

"Shit, Pat, you're bleeding." Virgil muttered, his tears now dry, but the stains still on his cheeks. The hug had ended, apparently.

"Hm?" Patton was still busy thinking, only looking at Virgil in his peripheral view.

"Patton for Gods sake pay attention to me! You! Are! Bleeding!" Virgil raised his voice, done with Pattons bullshittery for today, even though it was only the morning.

"Wait what? Where?"

Virgil reached up towards Pattons forehead, wiping a dribble of the red, sticky liquid off of his warm skin. Virgil was shocked, gasping in the slightest. He put his other, uncontaminated hand on the other side of his forehead, making sure not to hit any of the cracks.

"You're burning up." Virgil whispered to himself, placing a soft hand on Pattons cheek.

"Oh, I would've never guessed!" Patton joked, giggling a bit.

"Have you taken your temperature at all??"

"Roman mentioned something about a fever when I woke up, but I'm not sure if he took it." Virgil thought for a moment, Pattons words finally registering in his head.

"You...slept with Roman...?" Virgil recoiled, making a disgusted face at Patton.

"Not the point, but yeah, I slept with him." Virgil shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head.

"Just...lye down, I'm grabbing the thermometer." Virgil said as get got up.

"But this is your bed?" Patton wasn't upset by this, no, but he didn't want to intrude. Especially considering the fact that Virgil normally didn't like the other sides touching his stuff in the first place.

"And? You're laying down. You're swaying just sitting there. Did you think I couldn't see it?" Virgil growled, putting a firm hand on Pattons shoulder.

"No." His voice was fragile and weak. Virgil could feel his anxiety heighten at this. He's never seen Patton just this vulnerable before. He gave a slight force to Pattons shoulder, pushing him out of the sitting position he was in, and back onto the pillow. He had barely pushed. Just a mere pressure, almost less than gravity gave.

Patton let his legs stretch out naturally, not bothering to stop it from happening. Virgil gave a slight sympathetic chuckle, pulling a thin blanket over him from the end of his own bed.

"I'll be right back, 'kay Dad?"

"M'kay.." Patton mumbled, curling onto himself and gripping the blanket. Virgil gave one more glance towards the curled up figure on his dark bed before leaving the room.

He came almost face to face with a fuming Prince as soon as he stepped into the hallway.

"Well hello to you too, Princey." Virgil remarked sarcastically. Roman just grumbled.

"If that snake wouldn't have been the only side awake during the argument, this wouldn't have happened." Roman just now looked up at Virgil, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Fuck off, I was there, too." He slapped his arm playfully.

"Wait, seriously??" Roman almost yelled, making Virgil wince.

"Yup." He said in a monotone voice, trying to leave the conversation. He started to walk away, but Roman caught his hood, keeping him in place.

"What is it now?" He grumbled.

"Have you seen Patton?"

"Yeah, he's in my room resting."

"Is he oka-" Before Roman could finish that question, it was immediately answered by a scream, coming from Virgils room.

"Shit." Virgil immediately ran back into his room, swinging the door open. Roman followed close behind, worry filling his veins.

Patton was curled up in a tight ball, his hands held over his mouth as black liquid mixed with blood poured from it. Tears were streaming down his cheeks in a steady flow, mixing with the other two fluids. He could barely see, but he was able to quickly yell a, "It hurts!!" as he screwed his eyes shut. He was hit with another wave of pain as more blood poured down his forehead. The crack was at least two times bigger than Virgil had last seen, although he was gone for barely a minute.

"Help.." He whispered as Virgil ran over to him, but Roman was stuck at the door. He couldn't move. He didn't know how to.

"Shh, shh, I'm here. It's okay. I know it hurts. Breathe. Breathe for me." Virgil rambled, holding Patton tightly in his arms.

"V-Virge..?" Patton whispered as he gripped the fabric of his soft hoodie, letting out another, quieter sob. Virgil just nodded, allowing Patton soak his clothes with tears and blood, making a mental note to clean it off later.

Logan walked in, confused but mad.

"WHY IS EVERYONE..." he saw Patton, "...yelling..." he finished, mumbling.

Heartbreak. What everyone in that room felt. Patton. Virgil. Logan. But especially Roman.

He was having his own mini panic attack, still standing in the doorway with Logan. Logan put a soft hand on his upper arm, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"It's going to be alright, Roman. Can you take a deep breath with me?" Logan asked, gripping his shoulders firmly, but in a caring way, making sure to not let go.

Roman gave a hasty nod, looking Logan in the eyes.

"In," Logan started, mentally counting out 4 seconds exactly.

"Now hold," He said as he began to count 7 seconds.

"Now out." 8 seconds.

Logan gave a satisfied smile, "Good. Now, can you try that again?"

They did the breathing exercise for a few minutes, Logan still holding onto Romans shoulders. But Logan moved his hand a bit to wipe a stray tear that was dribbling down Romans cheek, making it dry once again.

But more tears poured as Roman shook Logan off, going to his boyfriend. Logan followed, not having much else to do. Patton had calmed down - thanks to Virgil - the slightest bit. He was still coughing up a bit of blood, and the unidentifiable black liquid from before, though. But he could actually breathe now without letting out another sob, so that's progress. Even if it's just a bit.

As soon as Patton realized that Roman was there, he crawled over to him, laying his head on his shoulder. Roman wrapped his arms around him, giving him a hug, and a small kiss on the top of his head. Much to Logans and Virgils surprise, Patton broke down once again, leaning fully into Roman.

"Let it out, baby. Let it all out... It's okay..." Roman ran his fingers through Pattons soft but tangled hair, giving him small kisses. Patton sobbed so hard that it almost hurt more than the growing cracks. He just wanted to be okay.

Logan sat on the bed next to the others, making a small circle/triangle type group. He patted the sobbing boys back softly, trying his best to be comforting. Pattons eyes began to burn, more than tears ever could. He let out a small whimper, trying not to cry out in pain. He put a hand to his cheek, in which his tears were rolling down. Or well, he thought it was tears. But it was just the same black liquid as before.

Heartbreak...

What may be the end of Pattons whole life.

His actions being uncontrollable, he coughed hard, more liquid reddening his eyes as he sobbed.

"I-it...h-hurts..." He croaked out, curling in on himself as he shook.

"I know, Pat. Just keep breathing. It's okay. You're going to be okay." Virgil spoke, sliding into the hug. Logan decided to join the group hug, they all held Patton in their arms. Patton gave a sad, bloody, smile, enjoying the warmth around him. He coughed once again, more blood spilling out. None of the sides were bothered by the stains that soaked their clothes. But they were all bothered by the sight of Patton. It hurt each of them.

"I...I love you all.." Patton said much too clearly, pain contorting his face.

"Goodbye."

Heartbreak.

What had killed Patton that morning.

[And the artwork I promised in the warnings✨]