#maybe i need to reorganize my page

[nanaslutt]

been keeping an eye on ur acc for the last week or so? something like that. and you feed us so deliciously...thank u for all the food <3

THANK YEEEWWWWW <333333

i couldn’t resist stalking uuu a bit.. the entire setup for ur page is so cool are u kidding?????

anyways i will continue feeding u good :ppp

[bettsfic]

possibly dumb question but… what exactly is structural editing and how do you do it? i assume it’s shifting the order of stuff around in a draft but how do you do that to end up with a cohesive story that flows in the end? it sounds very daunting!

not a dumb question at all!

structure is, at its core, the organization of a story. for the most part, stories are organized chronologically. we are given information in the order of time passing, and often at the same time the narrator experiences it.

if your story is chronological, structural editing will mostly involve major turning points for the story, ensuring that your tension (even if it is a very loose tension) is escalating. for the most part, writers focus on the escalation of external events while drafting, but the internal escalation sometimes needs to be reorganized or totally re-envisioned. your narrator's epiphany lands after the sequence of events that would prompt that epiphany. i know i have a terrible habit of making my characters realize important things far too early, and in revisions i have to move that realization later, which, yes, involves cutting and pasting and changing the order of things, but also affects the narration based on what the character does not yet know, and sometimes even the action of the story.

so it's cyclical logic in that way, which is why revision can be so hard and frustrating: if you change the character's inner growth, that may affect their actions in the story. if you change their actions in the story, it may affect the rate of their inner growth.

an example is the fanfiction italicized "oh." in other words, the moment your narrator realizes their feelings for their romantic interest. let's say in drafting, you put it in the climax. the narrator spends the story grappling with their feelings, then realizing them, acting on them, and then the romance culminates in a confession and/or a kiss and/or sex, and the story ends.

but how would their behavior change if "oh" was the inciting incident of the story? if they figure it out during the exposition, or maybe even before the story begins, and spend the rest of the story pining, with some other conflict keeping them from expressing their feelings?

very often my developmental edits for people involve something like, "your resolution is the inciting incident of the story you're really trying to tell," which no one ever wants to hear. but it's a good practice when pre-writing to ask yourself if the end of the story you're trying to write is actually the end of the backstory.

drafting (or what i sometimes call the discovery stage) is the order in which your story arrives on the page, and revision is working with what you've written to figure out the order of what must be known. one of the hardest parts of writing is figuring out what your reader needs to know and when they need to know it in order to have the contextual information and emotional priming of what happens thereafter.

although i do very much love when weird shit happens that makes me go ??? and *then* i'm given context in a form of a reveal, or what i call an illuminating moment that casts light on the previous events of the story. many people mistake this for a "twist," which is when the story sets up an expectation and subverts it meaningfully.

of course, you're not obligated to write chronologically. in fact i don't anymore. i prefer framing devices, long backstories, multiple timelines, and alternating points of view that sometimes overlap in time and space. a lot of writing advice will tell you these things are bad. they're not. they're just hard to pull off, because it requires an extra step: telling yourself the story in the order it comes in, figuring out the cause and effect sequence, fixing the cause and effect sequence, and then figuring out the order you want the information to be revealed in beyond the constraining device of time. never let anyone discourage you from experimenting with structure. it can be fun and challenging as both a writer and a reader.

tl;dr: structural or developmental revision is the process of putting your story in the order of the clearest escalating tension and stakes, both internally and externally, with an eye on the organization of the information revealed in the story as the reader would experience it.

[eraserisms]

A few things;

1. I know I said I need to queue responses, and I've semi-done that by throwing things in it, but the queue is paused. I plan on clearing out my inbox this weekend & finishing replies before starting it so I feel caught up.

2. Get thread tracker up to date and put a link on my blog for it.

3. I need to get some headcanons written and queued;

FAMILY STUFFS

background & personalities for Shota's siblings. Personalities for Shota's parents. His resemblances/parallels between himself and his parents; what traits he gets from who, both physical and personality wise

OTHER THINGS

negative coping mechanisms, more about Shota's abilities, Shota & Money, sleeping habits. Maybe add more thoughts onto tiny Shota deciding to be a hero. Shota's all-might phase that he will vehemently deny.

4. I want to fix up the tags for the #shota blog for everyone to utilize. I'm going to try to fix the tags for it and edit the page/make a navigation page. I might even end up moving it to another blog for the sake of reorganizing. I have a bunch more likes that I need to dump in there because seeing 700 likes is driving me crazy

5. I probably am going to end up making a tags page or a carrd for my blog and make sure it looks all neat and pretty. The lack of consistency is bothering me

6. Plotting once all this shit is done / sending in memes I owe. I might do a reverse meme call or just straight up flood all of you. You've been warned >:D

[discodeviant]

Cold

Billy/Steve | Teen | 2.5k Bakery AU, Cold/Comfort

Aight this one is very silly lol. Needed to get the frustration of my job out somehow and this was how :') Bright side is I get to leave soon!!!! Can't wait lmao. Also Mike is a little shit and I love him for it, but Billy does not. Anyway, please enjoy 😚

Read on AO3 Made for @steveharringtonbingo and @billyhargrovebingo!

The two-seater booth in the corner had been unofficially reserved for Billy since the day he returned to pick Steve up from the bakery after his first closing shift. He’d sold the Camaro after high school when it spent more time in Steve’s garage than on the road, and going from college to Chicago didn’t make much use of it either. So they just had the BMW, which Billy drove more than Steve did those days. Dropped him off at work before going back home to write in his dreamy little office, then went back and sat in his booth for an hour until Steve came out with a pastry and a kiss to ride home with. Still, the nights got lonely in-between, when Billy was home without Steve in the other room. Yeah, Billy had friends he went out with sometimes, but Steve not being there was such a drag, so he started showing up earlier. He’d wait for two hours, then three, then four, and soon he just stopped leaving altogether. It was nice to see Steve’s smile as he went between tables or came out of the back with flour on his sleeves. He spent his breaks talking to Billy in person instead of on the phone, gave himself a few minutes every hour or so to get distracted by his Malibu bombshell of a boyfriend. Billy loved it. Billy craved it more every night and knew just when to expect him.

Hence the shallow twinge of disappointment when Steve didn’t sit with him at seven-forty or seven-forty-one.

Still hadn’t by eight, and Billy didn’t want to think too far into it. He’d been promoted to manager by then and had other responsibilities than before, but that hadn’t kept him away. So Billy got up for another cup of self-serve coffee that he only got free on account of being Steve’s plus-one. His cup was still half-full, but he refilled it anyway. Topped it off with some creamer to make it look like he hadn’t just done that to have a peek behind the counter and through the sliver of hallway into the back. Robin, the head baker and Steve's best friend, smiled at him while she reorganized the pastry display, and he asked her for a little cup of whipped cream because he liked to eat it with a spoon sometimes.

Still no Steve, though, so he sat back down and kept at his poem and pretended it didn’t bother him.

An hour later, it was suspicious. Almost closing time, and Steve hadn’t made his rounds once—not even for a smile, not a glance in Billy’s direction. The last of his coffee had gone cold, but he was too jittery for another refill, so he stood and went to the counter again to ask the question he was really curious about.

“Hey, you seen Steve?”

Robin frowned in thought for a moment. “Actually… I have not.” She looked around, leaned way farther back than she had to, to see that he wasn’t around the corner either. She shrugged. “Probably took a smoke break or something. You know how much he hates inventories.” And Billy sighed because, yeah, he did. “I’m sure he’ll be done soon.” Her smile, as sweet and friendly as it was, did little to ease Billy’s nerves, and he figured she could tell when she dipped down and back up with a bag in her hand. “Cookie?”

Billy laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks.” Once again, he sat at his booth with racing thoughts and a poem to finish, but the tip of his pen clicked against the page and left more little blue dots than it did words. A smoke break sounded like a load of shit since Steve had been trying to quit. Maybe Billy’s own habits didn’t make it easy, but if Steve had smoke breaks, he’d have smelled like it more often. Then again, inventories. Counting and math and numbers, which Steve had always had trouble wrapping his pretty head around. Especially if he was tired, and especially if he was cold. The cooler was cold. The freezer was cold. Maybe he’d gone outside to warm up since it was a humid April evening, but he could have used the baker’s oven for that.

With a huff and his patience fully depleted, Billy packed his notebook away and stood up from his booth, giving it up for the night unless Steve decided to appear in front of him within the next four seconds—which he did not. Billy tossed his coffee, slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked out with his half-eaten, orange-frosted, chocolate-mint cookie in its bag. He walked all the way around to the back, not bothering to drop his things off in the car, hoping with everything in him that Steve would be standing in the little alcove with a cig between his fingers, maybe his lips, maybe his pale blue manager jacket on if he was really cold. But Billy didn’t feel particularly good about it, because he’d developed a sense for trouble over the course of his life, and it very seldom misdirected him. Especially when it came to Steve.

Something was very wrong.

The back door was still perched open with the trash bin, which Steve had complained about the kids doing on more than one occasion. They were basically adults, he’d say, they should have known about safety precautions, especially after dark, especially when they were alone. If Billy thought it smelled like nicotine, it was long-evaporated. Whatever had permeated into the brick and built up over the years. If Steve had gone for a smoke break, it was a while ago. There was still trash lined up inside to be taken out, so nobody should have been at the dumpsters (which Billy also checked and confirmed that he was right). He stood at the doorway and tapped his foot anxiously for a while, rolling the bag in his hand, biting his nails, looking inside because he wasn’t technically allowed in the back, but something was very, very wrong, and he’d never cared about technicalities or company policies all that much.

So he stepped inside, closed the door, checked the little office that had no sign of Steve. The jacket was gone from its hook, and the light was off. No Steve, no anybody as far as he could tell, so maybe Steve had forgotten to close the door when he went back in for inventories. Maybe Billy had forgotten Steve mentioning a truck delivery coming, so they’d take longer to count, or he would have to put stuff away in the baker’s corner, in the cooler, in the freezer—

Then it hit him like an avalanche, what Steve mentioned two or three weeks prior. Inventories, they always sucked, but the freezer door’s hinge had gotten jammed or something, so he had to keep it open with the Designated Office Shoe that belonged to a manager that had quit sometime in the winter. Otherwise one of the kids would close it because that was what they were taught to do so the freezer stayed cold, and their product wouldn’t thaw and go bad. The shoe did the trick. Kept it just closed enough that the plastic slats remained icy and assured that it wouldn’t close fully and get stuck.

Billy’s blood ran colder than the fucking arctic, and seeing Mike Wheeler’s face turning the corner didn’t help thaw him out either. “Uh… are you supposed to be back here?”

“Where the hell’s Steve?”

Mike was the one Steve had the most horror stories about—the scrawny little asshole with the bitchiest face known to man. Careless and rude most of the time, but he knew Joyce, the catering manager, and she insisted that he was an okay kid, and he did his job, so whatever. Billy still wanted to slap him, though, just a little. “I don’t know,” Mike said as if Billy offended him by asking. “Probably still do—“ Then his eyes went wide, and his jaw slacked, and, oh, Billy wanted to wring his neck.

Whatever he wanted to say tumbled from the back of his throat in a growl as he threw his bag to the floor and stormed to the freezer like his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Just a little. The end of a black shoelace poked out, stuck between a tread plate door and sickly-white wall. “Steve? Steve!” He pulled at the handle, only half-listening for a response because he didn’t need to hear Steve to sense that he was in there. Billy’s fingertips buzzed with anxiety the longer it took to pull it open, and Mike gawking in panic behind him didn’t help. “Can you do something instead of fucking standing there!”

“What do I do? I can’t open it!”

“Fucking—get Robin, dumbass! Jesus Christ…” Once Mike ran off, Billy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, gripped the handle and pushed his boot against the wall. “It’s okay, baby, just hold on,” he said to Steve, though it was more of a prayer. Another deep breath and a few long, exhausting heaves later, the door opened with such a start that Billy smacked himself square in the forehead, but he didn’t have time to stumble when Steve fell right over his feet. “Fucking, Jesus Christ, oh my fucking god—“

“Holy shit, Steve!” Robin ran to help pull him to his feet, and it took the three of them to get him back into the office. “Were you in there the whole time?” she asked once he was seated, and Mike had gone back to take the last few orders of the night. Steve’s teeth chattered with unrelenting haste, and each breath came short and shaky.

“The—the door,” he said, arms still tightly folded against himself as Billy tried to pull them away. “It—it closed.”

“Baby, I gotta get you out of this, come on.” The manager jacket was like ice. Steve just pouted and relaxed his muscles the best he could, licking and sniffing at the mucus running from his nose. “Mine’s nice and warm, see?” Billy held an arm against Steve’s neck, into which he leaned and closed his eyes, and Robin went to get him a hot drink.

“Bil—Billy, you’re—“

“Shh, shh, just…” Billy unzipped him out of the jacket and let it fall to the floor, taking off his own leather coat and wrapping it around Steve’s shoulders first before getting his arms into the sleeves. “Better?” he asked, and Steve nodded, leaning into warm hands that felt scalding on his face and neck, into the fire pit that Billy was. He rubbed along Steve’s thighs to warm his jeans back up, then held his hands and breathed onto them and kissed every frozen fingertip. Steve could barely smile.

“I’m… sorry for—for worrying you.”

“Steve, we’re not fucking for a month if you start apologizing.” It was an empty threat, but it worked anyway; Steve laughed. “Shit, I thought they fixed that damn thing.”

“Me t—me too.” Billy reached over for a tissue on the desk and wiped Steve’s nose before laying a gentle peck on his lips. “Mmmm…” Steve whined when it was over.

“Oh, Jesus, c’mere.” Billy’s arms were around him in no time at all, pulling him tightly against the warmth of his chest, one hand through Steve’s hair while the other kept him steady. His breath against Billy’s neck sent the heat back to his face, and he pressed his nose in harder, so desperate for warmth. “It’s okay, baby, you’re okay.”

“Mm, you’re nice,” he said, and Billy was relaxed enough to chuckle into the top of his head. Breathed him in deep, the frosty scent of hairspray and bakery sweat. That was when Robin returned with a steaming cup of tea.

“Don’t burn your tongue,” she said, handing it off to Steve’s trembling hands. Billy kept an arm around him and remained pressed against his side even as he took the cup in both hands. He just let it sit under his face for a while, pressing his knuckles against the side and gradually returning to a more human temperature.

“You—you put—“

“Yes, I remembered the vanilla and the honey and made it extra minty.”

Steve grinned. “Thanks.” She just ruffled his hair and let him warm up against Billy more, waiting for him to take the first sip in case he wanted anything else. But he hummed in satisfaction and nodded to let her know that it was just right, and she nodded back like a salute.

Billy said, “We’ll get you home when you’re ready, okay?”

“But I didn’t—didn’t finish.”

Then Robin interjected. “Steve, I’ll finish them. You just need to go home and wrap up like a little Stevie strudel, okay?”

“Mmmkay.”

And while it was hard for Billy to be mad when Steve was in his arms, it didn’t fade completely when they made it back out to the car. Robin walked with them to make sure they made it okay, to help Steve get situated in the passenger seat with the heat on full blast. Billy stood with the door open and said to her, stern and with the same fury burning in his eyes that Mike saw firsthand, “I want you to tell your piece-of-shit-fuckin’ manager to get that door fixed if he doesn’t want me to sue his ass for almost killing my goddamn boyfriend. You hear me, Buckley?”

“Loud and clear.”

“Alright. Also, tell Mike he’s an idiot.”

“Why, what’d he do?”

“I know damn well he closed it on him, so tell him he’s dead if he does it again.” Robin licked her teeth at that one, a little suspicious but not disbelieving. She nodded anyway. Billy looked up at the cloudy night sky to consider whether he’d forgotten anything. “Okay, that’s it,” he said eventually, sitting down on those plush leather seats he used to tease so much. “Also, he’s not coming in tomorrow.”

“What?” Steve asked from beside him, which he pointedly ignored. Robin understood and didn’t fight him on it. Steve wouldn’t either once he realized that meant a day huddled up with Billy and nothing else to do, but it took a trip home and a long, hot bath to make it to that conclusion.

Billy sat behind him in the tub—washed his hair, scrubbed his chest and arms, kissed him all over until he was thoroughly melting from the steam and Billy’s affection. In bed that night, he was clingier than usual. Kept his face firmly against Billy’s neck or chest, legs wrapped tight around stocky muscle, arms holding his lover close like he’d run and leave him in the cold otherwise. Half-asleep, he hummed something that Billy knew was his nightly declaration of love, and he returned it with a similar tune.

“Mmm… mm…”

“Mmmm… mhm…”

“Mmmmmmwarm…”

“Dork.”

[rikki-roses]

Fluffy February Day 24: Apology

SWTOR

Pairing: Kevra and Ashara, some Kevra/Andronikos

PG-13 - brief display of anger issues

Time period - shortly after Ashara Zavros joins the crew

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kevra's glass of red wine was thrown against the wall with an angry roar when she found her workstation - containing three months' worth of organized, neat notes and research - in complete disarray. Many pages were torn or crumpled, ink had been spilled everywhere, the datapad with her digital sketches and field notes had been corrupted, and three different relics had been broken.

Sparks were already flying from her fingers when she turned to look for the culprit, her eyes blazing orange from the Dark Side, when she spotted Ashara cowering in the corner. Absolutely terrified, the fear rolling off of her in waves at Kevra's outburst. If it had been anyone else, Kevra would have feasted on their negative emotions as she ripped them a new one (literally and metaphorically) for ruining her work.

But one look at the teenager's wide eyes and tear-streaked cheeks was enough; Kevra felt like she'd been punched in the gut as all of her anger immediately evaporated. She tried to say something, anything, but barely got an "Ash, I-" before the teenager darted out of the room. Andronikos stopped her just outside the study as she tried to give chase.

"Easy, babe. She's not used to seeing that kind of display yet, give her some space so you can both chill out. Then talk to her and apologize."

"Yeah...you're right." Kevra let out a long, shaky breath before continuing. "I...I need to remember what it was like, when I was still in the Order. How the Jedi trained me, spoke to me. That's what she's used to, not the Sith outbursts."

Andronikos nodded sagely. "Yeah. Not going to get her very far with the Sith, though. I remember how Zash was to you, and how Baras was is Kuri. So, Sith mentality and teachings but with the Jedi gentle approach?"

Kevra opened and closed her mouth for a moment. "It's so stupid and obvious, but I could kiss you for thinking of it before me."

Andronikos merely smirked. "Thank me later. Go apologize to your Apprentice."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kevra found Ashara curled up in the engine room, sniffling. Kevra knelt just out of range, her stomach in knots with guilt.

"Ash, I'm sorry. I should not have reacted as strongly as I did."

Ashara blinked. They both stared at each other, unmoving.

"You're...apologizing? Is this another test?"

Kevra blinked in return before rubbing her temple. "No, Ash. I'm trying to be sincere."

Ashara stared for a moment before relaxing slightly. "Oh. Thank you. Then I'm sorry too for ruining your research; I wanted to help, and I thought you'd be happy if I took the initiative."

Kevra let out a long sigh. She wasn't used to being in this situation, and was still struggling to keep her anger in check.

"I appreciate that, but...maybe check with me before you do, next time."

"Am I in trouble, Master?"

Kevra stood up, then helped Ashara up.

"Yes, but I'm willing to be lenient. Help me clean up the mess and reorganize my research, and we'll be even."

[circuslemon]

WOAG

Gonna be sort of spamming art dumps because I wanna share my notebook doodles.

I'm going to be posting about 2-3 years worth of notebook doodles so I split them up into categories that compliment eachother.

This post is themed after things relating to me, EX, self portrait doodles, the cat I put in my signature, sonas, random doodles, and just any lil doodles that don't really connect to anything I wanna make a sepparate post about.

This doodle comes from my Autism brain reading the french word for vegetables on a can of vegetable soup ((I'm Canadian)) and becoming obsessed with the word.

This happens often

I mis-remembered some song lyrics I heard on the radio while I was in the hospital and just

I straightened my hair for the dirt time while my bangs were long and I became off-brand Sia. ((My hair is naturally alot wavier irl then how I draw it))

I was wearing my jacket I painted to look like Nagito Komaeda's, and it made me very happy.

I had a dream one night about receiving a Lil plush duck with three eyes, one on its neck, I loved it so much I drew up a sewing pattern when I woke up ((you are allowed ro create your own)) he had the weird thready fur some webkinz have.

This page was me just doodling and writing down the first thoughts that come to mind

And my brain just

I ended up creating my snail sona

((My brain is full of the Vocaloid song, Colorbars, by GHOST))

Maybe 1-2 years later, while I was in the hospital, I redesigned my snail sona and confirmed that I was, in fact, a snail. ((I also did a full traditional piece - it's on my deviantart))

Reiny is my sona. I made for an original closed species I made, you'd be able to find my species somewhere on my toyhou.se profile ((though I still need to reorganize my account sobs)) The species is reffered to as Bridge gaurdians and are based on these Lil ghosts with long legs I like to make.

This is my Dungeons and Dragons sona, They are a Leech that takes control of a dead body, in which I have to redesign.

Their name is Marshel

☆WILL BE CONTINUED IN REBLOGS☆

[brothersonahotelbed]

so... i just got an email from one of the library techs i work with telling me that the shelves in the level-reader books section are way too crowded and i should have shifted/reorganized everything, and then also brought up the fact that there was one J FIC shelved in with the level readers and we "can't blame the kids for that since it was in alphabetical order" so i must have misshelved it and need to keep essentially be more attentive to what im shelving.

and as im reading this email im. what's the word. AGHAST.?? lately my coworkers have seemed to lose faith in my skills as a page like ive been here for nearly 2 years now and i have proved continuously for nearly 2 years that i have the sharpest eyes on the staff. and im getting an email, sent ONLY to my address and not the other page's in addition to mine, that i messed up? maybe im taking this too emotionally but it was literally [REDACTED]'s idea to fucking shift around the whole level readers section into a much smaller and crowded shelf space, and now im getting this email that feels like it's written in BABY TALK to me explaining "the shelves should never be crowded, if you dont know how to shift around the shelves you should come to one of us for help." im going to cry

[brass-tacked]

Yesterday, I went to my local independent bookshop to pick up a copy of Good Omens. While I have listened to and loved the audiobook, I finally felt the need to bury myself in a physical copy. To lose myself in the world created by Gaiman and Pratchett in an all consuming way. A stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning, eyes burning way.

The store was sold out.

Today, I finally shifted through the piles of books teetering on my bedside table and pulled out all the ones I’ve read to finally shelve them. This should be a small endeavor, but I have so many and my shelves are in dire need of reorganizing. As I slid a paperback into its new home, a white cover hiding in the corner caught my eye. When did this get here? HOW did this get here?

Good Omens, yellowed with age. Pages smelling of something loved. I kid you not, I heard the world sigh (or maybe that was my laundry changing cycles).

I’m not stupid. I know I must have bought it at some point, years ago, but the little hopeful, fantastical part of me wants to believe it was a little miracle. A little gift from the ether, meant to find me at just the right moment.

[asksoldieron]

SO-18: Memory Bomb!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

No art, but hopefully my eyes will improve enough to add some later!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Peanut Butter Bubblegum (SO-18) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

There! They got him! Well, sorta. That's definitely not Erik but he's in there somewhere. They'll get him out! Eventually!

I had such a cool idea for a musical comic but I can't do it. You'll have to read and imagine David and Hyacinth having it out, while what he is now is slowly subsumed by what he once was... Or while an imposter who made a very bad decision becomes permanently trapped in a web of his own lies. Maybe both at once!

*sigh* I'm struggling, but I don't get real feedback from the eye doctor. It's like they don't think I can't handle any negativity, so everything is all smiles and "you're doing great!" while I'm dealing with shit they should've sat me down and told me about before I even had the damn surgery.

You see, I had the impression the surgery was the best option for not losing any of the improvement I spent all last year making myself sick to gain. Heh. Maybe it was, but I've still lost ground and I'll need to put in even more work to get it back. I have a different issue now: stamina. My eyes get tired of focusing on detail, near and far, and in certain situations they'll just stop. I'll be straining as hard as I can and I won't be able to tell you if that's a D, C, O or G. It won't shift in and out of focus like I might be able to get it eventually, it'll just be a static blur until I rest my eyes and come back to it. (Kinda think the doctor thought I was faking or playing it up, since I could read letters the first time she asked me to, and then I couldn't. But the tech just listened to me describe what was happening and said, "Oh, yeah. Your eyes are just tired. Take a break.")

I don't have much trouble reading - as long as it's black and white or close to that. Much like Erik, I can get it from context. I've always read the shape of the word, because my damn eyes never worked like they're supposed to. But art is not like that. Hell, even reading a comic is harder for me right now.

I'm getting my Xmas computer soon. It has a bigger screen than my tablet, and I should be able to draw on it. I might not get so tired so fast with a bigger screen, but I won't know until I try. I found a good enough refurbished deal that I can afford a pen display with an even bigger screen, if it comes to that, but I'll have to give myself some time to strengthen my eyes in any case.

I thought I was just going to heal from this - it would only be a matter of time until the wound closed and my corneas cleared up - I certainly got that impression at the start. But now they say I'm not going to get better without more work. I'm stuck doing pretty much the same exercises, only now they're hard in a different way. The dry-eye does seem to be improving, but there's no guarantee it will keep doing that. I have nearly a year to wait for the dryness and light tolerance to stabilize, those things are the slowest to heal. Well, they would be the slowest, if I didn't have this stupid vision dysfunction. I have no idea how long that's going to take to adapt.

Anyway, this is all too many words. I'm trying to explain why I won't be able to come back with more story after a two week break, even though I have the next six-pack almost ready to go. I can write. I can reorganize the site (and I need to do that, the theme and the global colours are just stupid, and all my pattern blocks are malfunctioning). I can open a new bank account and put together a Ko-Fi page (after Patreon gets rid of my data - they only have a couple more days to do that within their 30-day limit!!). I can't illustrate. Nobody's going to stop scrolling and look at this shit in their feed if there's no images, and I'm not resorting to stock photos or AI.

I want to get to the point where I can spam my followers with something I'm proud of that looks nice, and send them to a site that I'm also proud of and which looks nice. I want more readers, but I don't feel right asking for them when everything's falling apart, including me.

So, I'll be here, but there won't be more story for a while. At least give me until the 20th, that'll be three months out from the surgery and I should be fairly well healed by then. It's just that I have this stamina issue nobody warned me about and no timeline for that. Almost like it doesn't matter. Hey, you can see without glasses! 20/20! Like we promised! Does it really matter if it expires without warning? It works when you read off the chart the first time and that's all you need, right?

No. I told you people I was an artist. You don't seem to be reviewing my chart and god alone knows if you even wrote it down, but you did ask me and I told you. This is not enough.

We'll see what the next few weeks will do for me. I hope like hell I'll be back soon with another six - words AND pictures.

[Back to Site?]

[cynicalmusings]

Thank you for listening to all my thoughts 😭 if you ever get tired of them just tell me !

I strongly believe if Heizou's out investigating without spy reader, they're gonna be so bored no being able to bother and tease him. Apparently he needed to go alone so he could 'FoCuS' without a certain someone poking his side every ten second interval. 🤭

Which leaves spy reader dying of boredom at the station. There's literally NOTHING to do.

I give it ten minutes before you decide to start poking around his desk. You really didn't take Heizou to be so disorganized, but you figured he'd usually stop whatever he's doing whenever his intuition gives him a new clue. Eventually, you reorganized his desk, unable to bring yourself to look at the chaos anymore. It gave your mind something to do until you were bored and got tired of spinning around in his chair again...

I think reader might use some of his not so important paperwork to fold origami hearts or something, he'll still have to go through the trouble of writing them again.

Maybe they'll snoop around his desk and find their own case files? Then tease Heizou about how interested he is in their life (though most of his work was baseless evidence and theories, some of them weren't far off)

How do you think Heizou would react when he finds out reader was poking around in his desk? (Not that he can really be surprised)

first of all, i love this idea.

to answer your question, i think he’d blink at them from across the room as you sent him a guilty grin. with a sigh (and a smile), he’d start flipping through the papers you’d reorganised, and give a slightly exasperated chuckle at the origami you’d folded.

“i guess this is what i get for leaving you alone here, huh?”

“i reorganised your insanely cluttered desk and made you some origami. if anything, you should be thanking me.”

he paused while looking through a pile of papers, eyebrow lifting with amusement. “maybe i would thank you if one of my files weren’t missing.”

you sighed, bringing out the information he had on you from behind your back. “fine, fine. you got me.”

he took the file from you, eyes flicking up to your own and then back to the page.

“out of curiosity, you wouldn’t mind telling me how much of this i got right, would you?”

you smirked. “not a chance.”

heizou closed the file with another sigh. “in that case,” he stepped towards you until your noses brushed, and you could feel the warmth of his skin on yours as his own lip rose with a smirk, “i’m going to have to figure it out myself.”

[amiharana]

7, 22, 27, and 38 for the writing ask game, if you don't mind! :D

(ask game from here)

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

best part about writing is i can just write the most self-indulgent shit ever and then i read it back later and i'm like hell yeah this is exactly what i'm looking for! i'm not kidding i frequently go back through all my documents rereading all the concepting i wrote like it's a little bedtime story. no one can scratch my brainworms better than me fr! ☝️😀

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

mm i'm fairly okay about the organization of my writing stuff. after i got my first laptop, all of my writing has been on computers and kept in my google drive. i'm actually considering making another account to transfer all my stuff over so my personal google acc has more space kasjdfkjsdj

i love making so many folders and color coding in there though. i'm planning on retitling all my fic document stuff in a certain way to make it easier to find them, but i don't know what way works for me yet. there a quite a few documents that are out of place because it's either there's not enough of the same-fandom documents to make a folder or i just don't know how i wanna organize it yet. reorganizing is a process i have not had a time for recently hehe

if you're talking about actual writing, i have a couple fics where i make a separate document for the outline i wrote and switch between the outline and the draft, e.g. my docs "[revalink] crystal snow draft" vs "[revalink] crystal snow outline". usually i do this because the way i wrote it in the outline conveys the exact emotion or image i want and use that as a reference while i write the draft. also it's just fun to see my own brain on display! otherwise i keep one huge document for each ship where i braindump my ideas onto, e.g. my doc "_revalink concept reservoir" and then just add headers/outline in the document. the revalink concept document is currently 80 pages long LMFAOKDJFDJK but it's a bit messy at the moment bc i've been copy pasting a lot of stuff in there

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

hmm of the fics i've properly finished and uploaded, i don't think i've ever actually been stressed writing a character KDFHKDJFD i've mostly written soft cute self-indulgent stuff so it's not too difficult to write them being soft.

i guess what i'll say instead is i actually had a difficult time in general writing the 'like crazy' fic. most of the premise and style of the fic was something i had a hard time conveying, particularly writing link's character in that first half. i try to get in the heads of my characters when i write and figure out what they would do and why they would do it based on what i know about their character. and it was just. really hard to write link in the self-indulgence of what the vibes/lyrical meaning of the song 'like crazy' was while also keeping him within the boundaries of the character i perceive him as.

if anyone else reading this has some time to spare, you can read 'like crazy' here or the link pinned on my blog! it was my revalink week d7 fic hehe 🤍

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

i wish i could tell you something outright insane or outlandish but i can't 😔 my writing process just consists of me laying in bed with my laptop and youtube on my switch hooked to the tv playing videos while i stare at a google doc for a couple minutes until the words come to me, rinse and repeat for as many days as needed until the fic is edited and finalized.

maybe the weirdest thing i've done while writing was either laying down on my side in bed like. semi-fetal position but arranging myself in a way where i could still type on my laptop, or when i got up to lay down and cuddle on the floor of my room with my dog for a little bit to take a break from writing. sorry for the boring answer 🙏

[pbjelly90art]

Spaceverse art!

Okay so I haven't decided exactly how I'm organizing these yet, but here's my first batch of the Spaceverse art posts! I've got a backlog of at least 205+ artworks to archive for this, so I had to get started somewhere. This is the original RP (and basis for my novel in progress) that I write with my friend Sakume, dating back some years now (maybe since 2019?) I don't have a title for the novel yet, so this is simply known as Spaceverse for now.

These characters originally came from some old forums we wrote on (circa 2006 at the start), and one day I came up with a new AU for them in a completely new space fantasy setting, with a new plot and new origins for the characters. I asked my friends Sakume and Cookie to participate, and this story was born. Cookie no longer actively writes in this RP with us, but some of their characters still show up in the art here and I'm very grateful for their contributions.

Sakume and I still write together and are adding new characters all the time! :) I grouped this batch of art to include sketches that mainly featured characters hailing from the planet of Illumina or the moon sanctuary of Nova Lux.

In order here we have: sketches of Cadenza, Altair/Vivace (her sister in the novel version, unrelated in the RP but may retcon, also Fabi/Alex's late mom and Anton's late wife), then Cadenza's daughter Luisa and a sketch of Cadenza in prison back on the Vault where it all started. Then we have Luisa and (spoiler!) young/child form Dawa, Cadenza with Adam, Adam himself, and then a bunch of sketches of their family together. Following that, we have Queen Venus (aka Elena), Cadenza's mom Sonya, Sonya with Leona, Xiulan, sketches of Cadenza and a masked Xiulan, Mingzhu, Joan (not an Illumin character but hey she ended up on my sketch page back then), older/adult form Dawa, young Dawa, Mingzhu, Cadenza's dad Galliard, Louis (another non-Illumin here to fit page space), Cadenza's sister Luminari, Cadenza herself, Lu with her husband Jaster, Simha (revamped character to replace Leona) and then Cascadia Riveria (Faer character, but happened to be on that sketchbook page.) Then lastly a few pencil sketches I missed, Xiulan, Mercy with Ramiro, Luminari and Cadenza, and some of my initial concept sketches of Spaceverse Cadenza and Luisa.

At the very end, we have some much older sketches that predate this RP, with Mother Carla, Ancient Ren of the Order, and Cadenza's late husband Paris (along with a sketch of Cadenza from a previous story where she was a human mage with shadow magic), previous versions of Vivace, Algretta, Luminari, Arietta, Cadenza, Sonya, Galliard, Reymundo, Izumi, Xiulan, Sarai (an angelo who hasn't appeared in the RP yet, but I might adapt), Shui Ya of Nova Lux, and Fletcher (a Faer character, but he happened to be on this page.) I still need to draw many of these characters some new portraits as their phantasm selves in this storyverse/setting, but I'm saving these older drawings for reference.

Some characters are going to show up that don't quite fit into these groupings because I tend to just draw whoever I feel like on my paper that fits before scanning them in. x3 Sometimes I edit them after to reorganize, but often times not.

Adam and Jaster belong to Sakume, and Leona and Joan belong to Cookie. The rest of the characters belong to me, but big credit to both of my friends for their help developing the world, organizations and characters, particularly in this case, Cookie brainstorming the Order of Lux Aeterna/Nova Lux with me, and Sakume brainstorming so many of the Vault characters and more.

Also small side note: I've been using the surname "Madrigal" since 2006 for Cadenza and her family waaay back on Zelda Universe forums, but I'm super happy it's way more popular a name now thanks to Encanto and I do love that movie. The movie was in no way a basis for these names, but I love to see more Latin culture and names in media, so I'm all for it. ^_^

[hypokeimena]

ask ... ing. what are your inspirations for the dragons in your lair if any. either when getting them or designing them. they are all so gorgeous ...

OUGH GREAT ASK. which reminded me to go see if my dragons are fed. they are. i have been in a finals period fucking fugue state, good lord. UM tho,

lair // finished&perma hibden tab

well a lot of it is like. i have a color that i like. or i get an interesting scatter on an existing perma. so i fool around in the scrying workshop making it matchy. and then go and i noodle around in the AH looking for dragons with that color, or similar colors, just seeing what's out there and playing around with scries, until i have a bunch of dragons that have maybe one color in common, or like one of them is XYZ and another one is AYC and a third one is ZCB and so they all sort of start to look coordinated. i like doing this because it's another way you can incorporate colors that otherwise wouldn't match your aesthetics into a page or tab...

ignore the green guys they need to go somewhere else but i only have the two for now so they're lumped in with my other weird dull earth-and-warm-tones.

like i need to re-reorganize my den but you could arrange these guys in a couple different ways (and there's a couple others that partly or fully match some of those aesthetics but they're in my lair rn lol). anyway. this is how i do it usually. lol.

[greencreeker]

3, 16 😈 (at the moment), 27, 28, 41, 47, 74, 81, 86 (at the moment), 91

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"matter of minutes before my mother and Chris would be" from a book I started reading as a joke because it sounded so ridiculous and have now decided to DNF.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

First off, fuck you. Secondly... it's still probably System of a Down? But maybe also Simon and Garfunkel? Though it could be Cosmo Sheldrake. Idk. One of those most likely.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

The sound of water hitting the plastic liner in the shower is the worst sound of my life and sometimes I think I'm going to rage out and rip the curtains off the metal rod if I've already had a sensory sensitive day.

A sound I love is the little chirping noises the kitties make when they don't want to full on meow.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I knew how to answer this question.

41: What was the last book you read?

A cute graphic novel called Garlic and the Vampire.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Redecorating/reorganizing my apartment.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It makes me think of Doggface and that video that brought so many people joy when we most needed it.

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Nothing. I don't want to be buried.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Mustard yellow and olive green.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Always and forever the answer will be teleportation.

Thanks so much for asking!!

[drawnaghht]

So! I think I've figured out how to tag both the leosagi and leochi ships.

Since this is mainly a BLOG and not just a random social media page, it will be easier for me to organize the tags as if this were a more traditional blogging site. So I will be trying to keep the tags as few and as relevant as possible.

I'll be mainly using YuiNardo / yuinardo from now on for just the Yuichi Usagi/rottmnt Leo ship, and stuff like my own fanart. it's specifically "show x show" for me (Yuichi x Nardo, bc those are their unique names in their respective shows xD) and not some of the fan OC stuff

leosagi for the general 2003 Miyamoto Usagi/Leonardo ship but maybe also i.e. crossovers where ppl draw all the versions?

katanashipping also for 2003 leosagi? like I guess I'll decide based on how specific it gets (edit 1.05.23) definitely about 2003 leosagi, since that's where it originated from

I'll use 2003 leosagi when it gets more specific i.e. fanfic recs or longform comics which I wanna find later

Rise Leosagi for the 2018 versions that people have made their own, based on the Miyamoto/Leo ship (lol this might be difficult to retag, cuz I'm not sure what I've tagged with what anymore)

Sliderbunny for people's own versions of rottmnt Leo and (both romantic and platonic ships, cuz there aren't as many posts for this anymore)

and I guess Leochi for something more specific? like that's been the tag now for Leo/Yuichi but I'm not sure where it started from so idk how to use it but I guess I'll find out when I see more stuff in the tag lol. might use it just for reblogs/fanart but I’ll see

I can't remember any other names so those are it for now. I probably won’t use the longer names like Yuichi x Leo, Miyamoto x Leonardo etc just bc I find it tedious to use that many spaces in tags when tagging can be sorta annoying to do on mobile and then fix later on PC. I’m more of a “tag and go” kind of person and I like my tags to be easy to write.

like im sorry I write so much (I don't enjoy writing lenghty things) but i legit need to tag like an oldschool blog occasionally bc I ENJOY finding stuff on my own blog later. it just makes sense! it is so confusing going thru multiple tags for the same thing when it could have a singular tag. or a single new tag for a specific use. and I've forgotten to do that after using social media so much for so long lol

anyway this isn't that important i am just chillin and remembered that I thought of this and needed to post it so I wouldn't forget.

more related random thoughts under the cut!

Thinking of that, I guess the tag clogging starts to make sense, considering how much people are more used to the "tag clouds" popularized by twitter and instagram and social-media-like sites before those (the sites inbetween blogging and web 2.0, maybe, but didn't really use those as much so I don't remember either) + the confusion about what the og leosagi was (+ maybe general tmnt fandom confusion over various versions of media for the franchise)

lol it's gonna take a bit long but I'll reorganize the blog more once I have a bit of time on the side from other stuff. now it feels nice that this blog isn't actually that big yet. I don't use sideblogs very long usually and it's my first time actually making anything TMNT related for this long, so it'll be interesting seeing where this blog will go in general. like how it's probably been subtle that while this userhandle/blog started as a tMNT sideblog, I actually have started blogging more about Usagi Chronicles now bc I like the show. and idk what else I'll post if I have time but I will probs keep it as a reblog blog anyways!

I try not to write long blog posts on tumblr anymore but I think the whole "leosagi-leochi tag clogging" point brought up in the "Why do we ship leosagi" video is also just a good point abt how we don't really treat blogs like blogs anymore. every sort of behaviour online has become so influenced by the want to make it trend or have it at least be read at all ("social media" aspect of online behavior now) that even stuff like ao3, a fanfic site, will have tags like "AO3 algothithm, PLEASE be nice to me" when sites like that don't even HAVE algorhithms. it's interesting to think about but also a bit sad on the side because that "tag clouding" does seem to be the only way for some works to become noticed on the above-mentioned actual social media sites. this almost makes me miss sites like deviantart and blogger because things always felt more centralized and easy to find vs twitter, insta or occasionally even tumblr.

ANYWAY

lol all this just to organize my thoughts on ship tags

if you've read this far, lemme know if there are any other tags ppl use? or are there any other types of tagging conventions we should bring back i.e. mashing the names together?

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

My name is Alanshee Valera,

I've made mistakes I've made choices but I've changed sometimes not in the best way and honestly I feel misjudged right now,

I'm seeing a therapist and she answered a lot and there is going to be a astronomical amount of baggage needing to be unpacked with me, if you see me elsewhere leave me alone please during this time because your baggage may be amongst that.

This is why when things come back up, I don't know how to handle it emotionally this is me saying I am sorry, but I don't feel emotion and that has caused hurt sprinkling I don't know how to communicate properly and you got yourself a shitstorm

From birth I have had a stressful household and if you look at modern sciences on how bad that is for somebody, even in the womb affected by the cortisol levels of the mother, I learned at a young age to detach myself emotionally and this leads to problems my therapist is currently working on me to reattach emotions and reorganize my memories and emotions of each of these memories so I can actually feel them,

This is what led into the fight over these last couple of days, me genuinely not understanding why nobody was getting where I was coming from and utter confusion over the reaction of others.

If you don't know me personally, and they can lie about this if they want, but my truth is, I can't remember what I did two years ago. I'm like an amnesiac patient. How can one get better when they can't even remember what they did?

All I can remember is that Monday and the emotions of hurt pain and agony, especially when I look at the art and photos, each of them that I love and still do because somebody drew them of my beloved creations,

And at the time it was out of appreciation for my own creations, at least that's what I thought.

That same creator has now done what they have done and just added more baggage on top that I will now have to sort out with my therapist as I don't know how to make this situation out and I guess that's why I don't know when to stop,

I don't know that I can choose I don't know how to be human because from my young age I learned to again disconnect myself emotionally from any stressful situation and I'm not talking five six years old I'm talking one to two years old, all of my life

I've been like this so for now this page is abandoned I do know one emotion I am feeling right now and that is fear that is genuine fear because of Diioodles post I think they were looking for me to cry no I'm just afraid for my family my little sister my mother my father who did not ask to be dragged into this,

Even if you think that you didn't people are cruel and they've been dragged in before so yeah I feel genuine fear because I've seen what people of this fandom do to people they don't like, call me a pro shipper when I am a neutral and I will stand by the fact

Labels are stupid and lead to more fights Democrat Republican, anti-pro shipper what is the difference? All I see are two groups fighting. So why are we forcibly labeling people I didn't understand that at time I will admit,

When they said don't call us that, I immediately apologized again, the emotional aspect of disconnection. I don't think of the factor of the fights. All I know is that they were seemingly open to listening to darker subjects,

they need to look at themselves and realize that with me they had no boundaries and that led to both of us ending up hurt, because I was blindly fumbling around not knowing where their boundaries were and they didn't know where their boundaries were

For all of them,

All I knew at my core is I need to defend myself immediately because I have people attacking me that maybe she can't change because nobody took the time to realize that there's something blocking that change, like I said I'm in therapy now have been for a couple weeks we are still in the very very early stages,

It's just today that my therapist realized that we need to work on not only me recognizing my emotions but also digging into my traumas and trying to correct them put them where they need to be and help me actually carefully connect to them because my brain has them disconnected.

I'm sorry for the pain I caused but I would like acknowledgment in the future of the pain you have caused Diisdoodles like I said both of us hurt each other especially now that you have me afraid for the safety of my family, one thing I actually constantly care for because if anything happens to them I'm done.

And I'm sorry if this doesn't come across right again, communication problem this is just how fucked up I am, I don't know how to communicate how I'm feeling what are the core aspects of being Human, I only know the pain the hurt and the agony I feel

Whether or not you genuinely believe me this is my truth