#maybe im being unreasonable but I’m so scared

[existential-cringe]

So in Alberta Canada, there are more than 80 forest fires burning across the northern half of the province, and at least 24 of them are out of control. And this is all in the last 5 days and it’s probably the worst we’ve ever seen.

So imagine my surprise when I finally get off work and check the Alberta tv news and THEYRE ALL COVERING THE GODDAM CORONATION. I HAD TO FIND OUT ON FACEBOOK THAT 2 OF MY FRIENDS FARMS ARE BURNING DOWN AND I CANT EVEN FIND INFO ON IF MY TOWN IS NEXT. This is so unbearably frustrating that I can find more info on the kings crown than I can accurate fire reports for my own community

[lelengerine]

weathering skies

pairing | haechan x reader

synopsis | you never knew just how much thunder scared the life out of you until he was gone from your side.

genre | a smidge of angst, debatable fluff at the end, exes to ???, fear of storms/thunder

wc | 0.9k

notes | another rain centric au because im still in those rainy feels TT i’m actually kind of proud of this one but let me know your thoughts for this <3 thank u for reading :>

m.list

it was the middle of the night, a jolt of lightning ripping the sky into two — the echo of thunder bouncing back and forth in the confines of your apartment’s walls. the sound knocks the sleep out of you as if it was a ghost haunting your dreams.

the rain poured often at this unreasonable hour and the countless amounts of sleepless nights drove you crazy, dark bags hanging beneath your eyes, but there wasn’t anything you could do to calm the sky — you weren’t a god that could control the weather at the flick of your fingertips. though, in this moment, you wish you could.

still, you never realized how gravely frightened you felt in these times, being alone during a storm pouring this heavily over the roof of your home.

it didn’t always use to be like this. not when haechan used to stay with you during these tiresome nights.

how could you notice the ruckus outside when there used to be someone that gently lulled you back to slumber and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you grounded from the horrors that roamed your mind when crashing sounds would prickle your skin. the downpour couldn’t even pass your thoughts if it wanted to.

he was your sun, yet you were his foolish moon that turned away from him.

he’s no longer by your side, all because of a silly mistake — your mistake of assuming his love for you was never genuine. you took his actions all for granted, leaving you with not even a speck of dust from what remained of your relationship with him.

truthfully, you couldn’t even fathom how that idea managed to permeate your thoughts, yet it managed to reach even the deepest corners of your insecurities — adding fuel to a slowly growing fire that just wouldn’t fizzle out.

you didn’t even pause to ponder on his own thoughts, or even have a proper conversation. the haste that fogged up your clarity ultimately led you to calling it off before he could utter a single word, before the situation would hurt you, before you realized how much you’d be hurting him.

just how could someone like him even fall for you? 

you honestly believed he deserved someone better, not someone as ill-minded and childish as you. hell, you couldn’t even sleep through the rumbling of a little thunder.

its no use trying to cling onto something that’s long gone, you think to yourself in silence. maybe you deserved to live like this after the faults you’ve committed.

you pick up your comforter, pulling it up right below your chin and stare blankly into the depths of your ceiling — wishing the rain would stop so you could fall asleep in peace.

another loud sound alerts your ears, this time not one of thunder, but a knock at your door. 

knocking was a normal occurrence, but never in the night. the fear that was pooling in you was beginning to overflow, eyes going wide at who could be standing outside your front door at this hour.

despite the numbness that your body succumbed to, your feet drag you down the hallway and to the front door. taking a peek through the eyehole carved in your door, you see a familiar figure, one you’d never thought you’d see again.

lee haechan. standing right outside your doorstep. his hair lightly tousled, an umbrella barely shielding his figure from the raging storm outside.

you quickly open the door, shock still evident in your expression. “what are you doing here?”

“you don’t like thunderstorms.” he bluntly replies, still remembering the detail past the rotten ending of your relationship.

“you live on the other side of town!” you exasperatedly speak up, bewildered by just how much he would go for your foolish problem of being unable to stand the clashing of lightning. “you walked a mile in the rain because I don’t like thunderstorms?”

“yeah.” he answers softly, “look i know i’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but i just thought if i sat on your porch, you wouldn’t be as frightened.” he looks just as tired as you, most likely because of running all the way over to your house, cheeks flushed from the adrenaline.

“i don’t even need to go inside if that makes you uncomfortable.” he quickly adds, keeping your boundaries in mind. 

it felt as if he had never left your side, just as respectful towards you as ever, and the guilt of bringing him pain came rushing in like a whirlwind — tears almost beginning to mist your sight.

“no- um. you can come in.” you croak out, pulling yourself back together, but you know how easily he sees through your facades. still, perhaps it was out of that same respect that he doesn’t say much of it, letting you lead him inside the cozy home he’s grown to be fond of over the years.

everything still remains the same as he remembers — though a bit less tidy than how it used to be. he can’t really blame you for it when you were probably just as hurt as he was during the break up.

“thank you.” you mumble, voice barely above a whisper, now handing him a warm towel for him to dry himself off. “for coming here, i mean.”

he smiles, the corners not quite reaching his eyes, but there is a natural happiness that shines through them. “no, thank you for letting me in once again, even if it’s just for a brief moment.” 

[xtom-darling-x17]

could you make a tom holland one where Tom has to go away for a long time due to filming but the reader is pregnant and has to tell Tom bc she feels like he won’t be there and she doesn’t wanna be alone. Maybe they argue at the start like angst and then she blurts out why she’s making a big deal of him leaving.

My Forever

Pairing - Tom Holland x Pregnant Reader

Summary - Tom has to leave for Filming but you have to tell him something, really important and it worries you.

Warnings - Angst, sadness, as usual fluffy ending because who cant? Resist sweet Tom!!

A/N - Thank you so much, for requesting, hope you enjoy! Much appreciation to the love and support to all of my content on my blog 🥰

Honestly, guys come chat, talk about things to me or request! I’m always open to being mutuals with other accounts, don’t be shy come join the fun! Hope your doing well!! 💜

“Love, that doesn’t make any sense..” Tom rolls his eyes at you, “I’ve been away before and you were perfectly fine!”

You and Tom stand in the middle of your kitchen arguing about him going away for a while, due to filming.

“You don’t understand, I know that you need to go and film but why such a long time?” you asked, huffing folding your arms over.

“Because baby, it’s takes a long time to film a series!” Tom frowns, looking away from you.

“I just don’t want you to go,” You shake your head.

“I know but why?” Tom asked, “I’ll still be able to come back, still text and call you and you can visit,” he leaned his head against your shoulder, closing his eyes.

“Tommy its not about that,” You whisper, nervously. You look down at your stomach, deciding that he really needs to know, it’s now or never!

“What is it then?” Tom narrows his eyes, tapping his foot against the marble floor as he gets impatient.

“I, I don’t know,” You hold back your tongue, deciding just to tell him when he is away.

“What do you mean, you don’t know? You must know! Like your complaining about me leaving,” Tom feeling fed up with the situation, going to walk out on you to take a breather.

Instead, you speak again..

“I’m not complaining, I’m being honest!” You said, shaking your head completely disagreeing with his words. It seems tense, to just blurt the words you need to say but you need to right?

“Honest, my ass!” Tom scoffed, he really needs to get out the house. The air is catching in his throat as the atmosphere try’s to swallow him whole.

“Your being really, unreasonable love! Please give me a valid reason why you don’t want me to go,” Tom try’s to calm down one last time, for your sake as well as his own. He don’t want to be mad and fight or even walk out but it’s really difficult.

You take a deep breath, ignoring his comment as you hold your hand out to place it on Tom’s cheek. “I just found out that, I’m 3 Weeks Pregnant,” you whisper, him barely hearing you.

You feel like your drowning under water as you said the thing, you needed to say.

You don’t say anything after, scared about what is there to come. What will he think?

Everything stops in silence as the words hits Toms ears, “what did you say? Love,” he held your hand tight, like as if you will float away from him.

“Um, nothing.. I didn’t say anything,” You looked away lairing, you feel embarrassed and shocked you actually blurted it out.

“No, no baby,” Tom breathes out, cupping your jaw into his warm, hands, “You said you are pregnant, is that true?”

“Yes,” You take a shaky breath, “I didn’t want you to go because I didn’t want to feel alone, for you not to be there for me or the baby,”

Tom calms down, forgetting about all the other things that got him riled up. He focused on your words, on you, only you!

“I’m so sorry, love,” Tom kisses your forehead to comfort you, “We are going to get through this together, Darling! Im going to love and support you, no matter what,” he smiles.

You stand there, in between his arms and body, you let tear drops fall on your cheeks.

“Blossom, don’t cry,” Tom wipes your tears from under your eyes and cheeks, “Your ok, we are ok! I love you so much, my love! You are so strong and brave.. should of told me sooner,”

“I was going to, but,” You took a deep breathe listening to Tom’s heart beat, he calms you like flying with pixie dust but much better, “I was scared to see your reaction,”

“Understandable, sweetheart. It must be scary in this situation but now you know that I’m all in, I’m going to love, care, support and protect you, Darling,” Tom kisses your lips passionately, you smile into the kiss.. slipping your tongue between his teeth as you sink more into his chest.

“You are one of a kind, Tom,” you wink.

“Says Yourself, Princess,” Tom teases back.

“I’m always going to be here for you, your not alone, Y/N neither is our baby!”

“I love you so much too, Tommy,” You pull him in a kiss again, fully knowing that he is doing the right thing.

Taking on a responsibility that he might not be ready for but he loves you and he loves your and his baby now!

“What about your filming?” You cry more, don’t even know where the tears or sadness came from because the hardest part is gone now.

“Fuck the filming,” Tom mumbles, “I’ll bring you with me, they can’t say shit!”

“They can wait, you and our baby are way more important, love,” He includes as you nod, smiling at his sweet yet funny words.

“Now, let’s go upstairs and I’ll run you a nice hot bath,” Tom smiles, taking your hand, “How does that sound, Darling?”

“Sounds perfect,” You giggle, loving this new protective side of Tom.

🧋

You and Tom lay in the bath with lots of bubbles and very hot water.

Your lay against Tom’s chest, as he presses sweet kisses to your shoulders and neck.

“Mm, so fucking gorgeous,” Tom whispers, caressing all of your body, “Can’t believe, we are going to be having a baby,” he grins ear to ear.

“I know, Handsome, me neither,” You giggle, holding his bicep kissing it, softly.

Tom strokes your head to relax you more into the hot water noticing that you are still a tad, but too tense for his liking.

He loves you being relaxed, calm and care free because that’s the best version of yourself!

“Your going to be a great, mummy, Beautiful,” Tom can’t resist saying, sending butterflies down to your stomach or how devoted he is to you and your baby.

“Well, Mr.Holland, your going to be a great daddy,” You winked kissing his cheek.

“Well, Mrs.Holland, again, your going to be an undeniably great mummy,” Tom winked, back.

“What?” You asked shocked, “I’m not your wife,”

“Soon to be, baby,” Tom whispers, smirking as he hints he going to propose very, very soon!

“Your not close enough, love,” He pulls you even closer to him, if that’s possible kissing your lips deeply, loving the way you taste on the tip of his tongue.

“Can’t wait, to be Mrs.Holland,” You giggle, in between kisses.

“I bet,” Tom couldn’t hide his smirk, so full of himself because he loves you, and is proud of it, calling you his forever.

“My forever,” Tom whispers, kissing you on surprise.. making bubbles fly around the bathroom as you both laugh.

“My forever too, Tommy,” You smile, closing your eyes as you embrace, this blessed moment between you two.

[likecastle]

Ronance Femslash February - “I’m scared”

Thank you to the anon who sent the prompt “im scared”! I considered going in a more dramatic direction with this, something dire and last-night-on-earth-y, but I, uh, didn’t do that. Have some kissing instead!

I’m accepting Ronance prompts all month for Femslash February. Don’t be shy! You can find previous prompts I’ve filled here.

Please be advised this included a character who is anxious about having sex for the first time, a tiny little dash of internalized homophobia, and some very mild D/s themes. I would probably give this a teen rating still, maybe creeping towards mature.

It’s funny. Robin is scared of a lot of things. Rabies. Earthquakes. Doctors. Driving, although she’ll never admit that to Steve. In the old days, she used to think of herself as a fearful person, wound unreasonably tight about a lot of everyday things that plenty of other people seem to navigate without any trouble. But for all her hang-ups, the past few years have shown Robin that she’s actually pretty brave. She’ll spit in the face of a man holding her hostage, and dive into an interdimensional portal to save her best friend. It’s like she gets past a certain threshold of terror and whatever voice she hears in the back of her head urging her to overthink everything just shuts off.

Evidently, she hasn’t reached that breaking point yet tonight, because she’s trembling hard under her skin—the sort of tremor that doesn’t show in her hands, but that has every inch of her vibrating all the way down to her bones.

Nancy’s hands pause on the buttons of her blouse, and her eyes go wide. “Robin? Are you OK?”

“Totally,” Robin says, but her throat is so tight around the word that she knows that nobody could possibly believe her. She’s already blowing this, and they haven’t even gotten their clothes off yet. “Absolutely,” she croaks, as if doubling down is going to help. “Never better.”

“No, you’re not,” Nancy says firmly. Her hands come to rest on Robin’s upper arms, a reassuring pressure. “What’s wrong?”

Robin tries to breathe and mostly doesn’t, her breaths far too shallow to be of much use. She doesn’t know how to answer Nancy’s question. Because it’s stupid. It’s completely, totally stupid. She loves Nancy. She wants to have sex with her, like, a lot. They’ve talked about this, ad nauseum, and they’ve both agreed they’re ready. “It’s just—I’m scared. I guess.”

Nancy’s worried expression softens into something impossibly fond. “What about, d’you think?”

Robin chokes out a thin laugh, because the list of worries crowding to the forefront of her mind is so long she doesn’t even know where to start. That having sex will screw things up between them somehow. That she’ll be so bad at it that Nancy will say, Sorry, I’ve actually decided I’m not into girls anymore, and then Robin will have to crawl into a hole and die. That, impossibly, her dad will barge in, despite the fact that they’re not even at Robin’s house. That having sex with a girl is somehow a line that can’t be uncrossed, and even though Robin’s always, always been sure that this is what she wants, wanting it and actually doing it are two different things, and some part of her way in the back of her head can’t help being scared that this is going to make being gay real in a way that it hasn’t been so far, even though if anyone else said that to her out loud she’d punch them in the face. But she can’t say any of this to Nancy, can’t even find the breath to explain herself, so instead she just shrugs. To her supreme embarrassment, she feels tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

“Can I—?” Nancy holds her arms out, the universal gesture for a hug, and Robin nods miserably. Nancy enfolds her in her arms, and they stand there like that, Robin’s arms awkwardly at her sides, Nancy’s palms warm on her shoulder blades. “We don’t have to, you know,” Nancy says quietly. “Not now, not ever, if you don’t want to.”

“I do,” Robin manages. She buries her face in Nancy’s shoulder. “I really, really do.”

“OK,” Nancy says easily, like they’re talking about what to get for dinner. One of her hands drifts up and tangles in Robin’s hair, and the gentle tug of Nancy’s fingers through her tangled hair undoes some of the tension at the center of Robin’s chest. It’s kind of incredible, actually, how much more grounded she feels, with just this little sting on her scalp.

“Can you . . .” She recognizes, even as she says it, that this is maybe not a good idea, that, on balance, what she’s about to ask is maybe a little bit fucked up, but now that it’s occurred to her, it’s too tempting to resist. “Do that again? But harder this time?”

Nancy draws back to look at her, with a searching expression on her face—not quite worried, but curious. “Really?”

“Just—” Robin shrugs a little. “Go with me on this?”

Nancy nods, slow and thoughtful. And then she tightens her hand in Robin’s hair and tugs—hard. Robin moans, embarrassingly loud and almost helpless with relief, and suddenly the buzzing under her skin isn’t nerves anymore, but something white hot.

Whatever’s happening on her face, Nancy must take it as a sign to keep going, because she leans in and kisses Robin, her hand still gripping Robin’s hair so tight her scalp is tingling. And then Nancy draws her lower lip between her teeth and bites, and Robin’s knees buckle so deliciously. There it is, she thinks, distantly, and then she’s crossing it: the threshold she couldn’t figure out how to cross on her own. After that, she’s not afraid anymore, not even a little.

[octocurse]

i dont know ANYTHING about splatoon and dont really care to invest beyond aesthetics because that game is SO GOOD on aesthetics if it wasnt a mainly online game that costs an unreasonable amount of money for me i probably would be all over it hehe HOWEVER IM STARTING TO TANGENT my point is i love your funny guys theyre soo cool i esp love bells design a whole ton its just so good i love how her hair almost mimicks demon horns which paired with her nervous appearance makes me think she might have problems with morality or something.. im always a sucker for spiral eyes and her right (her left our right) tentacle hair thing being mangled is just a real nice shape and balances her out with her scar on the left of her face.. PLUS her colors are so pleasing...

aughh i especially love how you drew her in the umbrealla meme image shes just soooo good there immediately captivated me AUGH i should catch up on ur lore for them or smth bell has CAPTURED ME youve DONE IT youve caught me by putting a strange scared character under a box with a stick + string

you drawing bell: 🪤🪤🪤🪤

me: CHEESE chees for me maybe???? che [[i am trapped under your splatoon themed box]]

erm... ill try to find a way to catch up on ur silly lore.. i <3 bell... your designs are all really nice but bell was the straw on this camels back so to speak hehe anyways... hope youre well :-P i never can find much to send asks over but i think ur cool lol 👍 take care my friend

GAAAH THANK YOUUUFHCHDHGJJFFBVNNFNRJGJFFJ I’m literally abt to cry so muchvhbhfhhghfh THANK YOUHUUUU

Bell is so silly … I spent like 5 minutes on their design each time I drew them before finally settling on this one . I like asymmetry so . Bell has differebt stuff on each side .

I haven’t thought of Bell much so I don’t have a ton of lore for them but I promise you will get to hear more soon . You will . Get ready . You can’t escape Bell . /silly

Yoylechess I adore you . Thank you .

[stacispratt]

🖤 for Kit please <3

HIIII THANK U SKELLY THIS WAS SO FUN!!! wes & kit is a duo and a half and im obsessed with them. honestly in my brain this is mostly kit once she's in the cult and wes not quite there yet, but i think this applies to them in basically any situation tbh

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals (ok i don't actually know if they would be but listen. chosen wes & cult kit?? the idea of them being sorta testy @ each other... eating it up) / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other (also a possibility) / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

current impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine (if there's one thing wes really knows about kit it's that she is not fucking around or pretending she's anything other than what she is GHKDGN) / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

is wes scared of her??? yes. would wes fuck her in a heartbeat if she wanted him??? also yes.

listen i just imagine that kit kind of confuses & concerns him at first because he can't really Get her. and then when she joins the cult and he's good and well on his way to joining too he still doesn't really know what to think of her but she scares & intimidates him in the same way that jacob does. which means it also makes him kinda horny. but he doesn't know what to think about her except that he doesn't Fully trust her, even if they end up on the same side, because he kinda senses that her loyalties Truly lie with jacob. and he doesn't know what that means for him/his loved ones

but hell yeah he wants her <3

[i-hope-youre-hopeful]

God With Us

I’ll get to that in a minute. Much to think about. Little time. Do help me please.

I think im sick again, for the sixth month in a row. I think it’ll be quite mild as long as I rest and eat well. Im not even going to tell my mom, maybe not my dad either. I don’t want them to worry. Especially not my mom. Im gonna try to keep her from getting sick, and hopefully if she does get it she’ll have such mild symptoms that she won’t even notice. I rather wish I wasn’t feeling this way but it could certainly be much worse.

Hunter came to my mom’s apartment for the first time and just invited himself to spend the night which is fine but weird and it freaked me out and was just so odd. This is the weirdest timeline for real. I woke up this afternoon snuggled up with Hunter on the floor of my mom’s apartment. I feel awkward and horribly embarrassed about being affectionate and cuddling with Hunter and that my mom saw us k*ss (almost.) I feel so uncomfortable about the whole thing it was just so weird. Part of me feels defective or something that my literal boyfriend whom I do love basically ruined my day by just staying slightly longer than I anticipated. Not only did he spend the night but I went back to his house tonight and we had dinner and hung out and played games. It was a lot of time together. I love him but I’m just so scared all the time that I’m doing the wrong thing. I get so so scared that I’m going to regret my decisions someday. I have a headache.

I feel ashamed of how I live in multiple ways. I feel ashamed of what I did this morning. I’m sorry. It’s one thing to do what’s wrong and it’s another to do what’s wrong in my mothers home and lie about it. I’m exaggerating a little. It was still not the right thing to do though, I think, and I’m sorry. Truly. Please forgive me.

I really hope I haven’t ruined a part of my future for the sake of today. I hope Hunter is my future. I really do. I hope the future gets easier to navigate. That sounds completely unreasonable and false but a girl can dream.

I feel really stressed about Christmas today. I want it to be over. I’m trying to make everyone happy and make me happy too and I hope I don’t mess it up. I’m afraid my dad will be grumpy and it’s gonna be awkward and my mom will be grumpy and I’ll feel pressured to stay here but pressured to leave but pressure to talk to my friends or my boyfriend but pressure to pay attention to my family. I don’t know why it’s so important. It’s not new or unexpected at this point. It all just makes me anxious and sad. I grieve my past. Today especially. Please, Father, let it go better than I fear it will. Please let me do the right thing, whatever that is.

At the same time as all this worry and angst and fear and guilt and dread is a center of gratefulness and joy. There is a peace in here, waiting quietly by. Immanuel, God With Us, is here. That is what we are celebrating. Nothing else matters nearly so much. And even so, we’ve been given so much more than just God With Us. I have so much more than I deserve. I thank you so sincerely for what you’ve given me. I thank you as much as I am capable of in this moment that you sacrificed everything to bring peace on earth and good will toward us. This year more than ever I feel a lump in my throat every time someone quotes the stories. I feel like I almost want to cry, I feel so moved. Thank you so much for moving me. You are what matters. I love you so much and I’m so sorry for everything and I thank you for everything. Above all else please let this day be yours. Let my thoughts and actions be acceptable to you. Let me bless you and bless others as I have been blessed today. Thank you so much my sweet Lord. Please help everyone to have a good Christmas. Give peace and reveal yourself to others as you have to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Merry Christmas my first love and my dearest Father and Brother and Friend.

[starconsumer444]

“When Things Fall In Place” (18+)

Creepy Roommate!Kenma

(A/N: This is...about 3.1k of pure degeneracy, which I actually had no intention on writing, finishing, or publishing and just thought out as I went... There was no planning, no actual ideas prior to this {actually its based off this guy I met recently because im always stuck with the creeps}...I just started it late at night [basically the early hours of the morning] and finished it this afternoon. I haveeee to stop writing for haikyuu... But I’m probably gonna fall off, comeback and write one or two request with a bunch of other random bs, and then disappear again after this, but thats just how it is. I get bored of writing every three days then come back to write my heart out. I really have to write my requests soon or they’ll hate me...) 

(Cw/Tw: Fem!Reader, Stalking, Somno, Rape/Noncon,  Virgin!Kenma, Theft, Crying, Poor Writing, Kenma is a sweaty, friendless, looser in this one guys, I’m bad at tagging these but you get the idea... this is bad and nasty. 3.1k!!!! THIS IS LONG AS HELL)

You don’t know much about him, Kenma— your roommate. You’ve been living together for almost a year at this point and that can’t be normal. He stays in his room playing video games, doesn’t seem to have friends, leaves for work in the morning, and keeps to himself for the most part. Honestly, if you didn’t greet each other in passing you would’ve forgotten the sound of his voice by now. It’s low, unaffected, and monotone for the most part. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be bothered?

But see, Kenma knows everything about you. You went to middle and high school together, but he was just as standoffish in those days too. He doesn’t expect you to remember him, you clearly don’t, but it still weighs on his heart. Was he that forgettable? It’s okay, because one day he’ll tell you. One day he’ll tell you everything.

He’s been obsessed with you since middle school, you were the pretty girl that sat in the front of the class and smelled so good. You would talk to give answers in class and he would be all ears, because to him your voice was his only source of happiness. To hear you speak and smell your perfume as you walked past him was a reason to live. Sure, it was weird, but so were a lot of things about him. He had no friends, could you blame him? Would you?  So maybe, then, in middle school it was an innocent harmless crush, not an obsession, but in high school he was definitely obsessed. 

He overheard you say it to your friends— where you were going to high school, and he told his parents thats where he wanted to enroll. The entire time he never spoke to you, much like middle school, he was off in a corner playing a game alone, inconspicuously keeping an eye on you. He used to trail you and your friends around the school and he always wondered how you were so perfect? How you were so good at making friends? How you stood out like that? Maybe that’s why you were so unapproachable... 

He remembers you were class president for three consecutive years up until graduation. You were so damn intimidating, but everyone loved you, especially Kenma and you were blind to it. You never ONCE noticed him or gave a damn about him and you were class president. He wanted to talk to you so bad, but he just couldn't. He would steal things from you with the intent to say he found them and maybe start a conversation, but he ended up hoarding them in his room at home. The biggest thing he’d stolen was a sweater because you hadn’t seemed to notice the erasers or pencils. 

He vividly remembers the sheer panic and urgency he stuffed that damned pink sweater into his backpack with, so scared he’d get caught and called a creep. He really did plan on returning it but he just— it smelled so good back then...he remembers. He took it home and hid it under his bed, only opting to take it out and hold it to his face and just smell it on special occasions when he felt up to it and guilt wasn't taking over his mind, body, and soul. He knew it was wrong but he felt the most alive in moments where he didn’t care. He’d tried to resist the urge, but at some point he started to pleasure himself with it too. It started happening so often that he’d get hard at the smell of you even when you walked by him in class. He still has that sweater.

At some point during that time, he’d picked up the strange hobby of following you home from school. You walked alone all the time so he’d lie to himself and say it was for your safety as he stalked around corners and made sure you never saw him. He’d always watch you enter your home from down the block, far enough so he wouldn't catch your attention. Those times he didn’t want you to notice him, he felt sick doing it, but it was something akin to an addiction and he just couldn't stop himself. This was a short lived addiction though...about a month or so. 

His mom started to pick up on his staying out later than usual and by then he’d actually started to go up in front of your house and just stare at it. He prayed to god that you didn’t see him being a creep like this, but sometimes he wished you did because at the very least you would recognize his existence. Still, you never saw him. He went back to being locked up in his room, playing video games until the early hours of the morning, rubbing himself raw against your sweater, and being consumed by you in private. All he wanted was for you to acknowledge him. Tell him that he exists to you, because he’s sure his existence is for you.

Those days were hell on earth, he struggled to shower and his only motivation for getting up and doing anything was to see you, who didn't know he existed. It was a depraved cycle. 

Now he’s here with you, and the first time he talked to you was to respond to a “roommate wanted” ad. Isn’t it wonderful how things come full circle? 

Still, he struggles to actually hold face to face conversations with you. How could he? He fantasizes about you so much...it feels wrong.

These days he finds himself rutting into your sheets when you're out praying that you don’t catch him, stealing your panties just to hold them to his nose and eventually soak them in his cum, and even worse having disgustingly sadistic fantasies about you belonging to him. He pushes those fantasies to the back of his mind, though. He doesn't want to be fucked up, but then again, it can't be that bad to want to own your source of happiness.

His infatuation reaches a peak one night when he finds himself groggily trudging his way to your room in the dead of night with his fleshlight in hand. He tried everything, he didn't want to jack off so he played his video games like usual, but even that didn’t take his mind off of you. Typically, he’d jack off with his fleshlight alone in his room to depraved and deluded fantasies of you, but tonight he needs to be near you; to see you, to smell you, and to know you’re there.

Upon entering your room he flips the light on, and it’s actually really dim— not that he hoped to wake you up or anything. He tip-toes over to the side of your bed and stands over your sleeping figure. You look so beautiful when you’re asleep, a shame he’s never thought about seeing you like this before or rather...a shame he’s violating you like this. He wants himself to stop because he knows it’s wrong, but he’s wanted something like this for so long and right now it’s in the palm of his hand. He’s sick and he knows it.

Still, he pulls his sweats and underwear down just enough to where they’re right under his balls. The cold air of your ceiling fan hits his painfully hard shaft and it feels so good it makes him sick. He slowly sheaths himself inside the faithfully used toy imagining it was you. That’s even easier to do now that you’re right here in front of him.

His heart is racing, and he feels sick to his stomach...

“Gotta make this quick,” That’s what he says under his breath, but he want’s you to wake up and see him, he want’s you to call him a pervert and make him leave you alone forever. He wants to see you horrified by the sight of him pleasuring himself to your sleeping body. Is that so wrong?

Yeah, he knows it is. He can’t bring himself to care, though. He pumps himself in and out with hurried movements. He feels so gross and so good like this. Even with the fan on above him he’s sweating bullets like a madman, but he just can’t stop himself, he swears this isn’t his fault. His rational mind would never permit this, but when has he ever gone with that side of himself?

He starts to lose himself in pleasure, moaning out your name in his typical low voice rather than a whisper. He doesn't catch himself, and his moans start to get louder and louder. You start to stir and he can’t bring himself to shut up. You can’t be that light a sleeper, right? 

Wrong.

Your eye’s flutter open and then meet his and he cums unreasonably hard and his moan is gross and loud. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he doubles over from the pleasure. His hand grabbing on to your mattress is the only thing keeping him from hitting the floor.

His heart pounds in his chest and his breathing is erratic, but that’s not why the look in your eye’s is nothing but terror. He's sweating so much, he wants to apologize, but he doesn't.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sliding the toy off of himself. He thinks you look even more beautiful when you’re awake and scared out of your mind. 

You lie there, staring up at him, still trying to process how your aloof roommate could—

He climbs on your bed, fleshlight in hand, and straddles your waist and all you can bring yourself to do is shake your head.

“Kenma-” He presses his index finger to your lips and you freeze again.

Suddenly, he’s bringing the fleshlights opening to your mouth and you still can’t bring yourself to fight him.

“Please go away,” You ask like this is just some nightmare. You know it’s not, you can feel his weight on top of you and it feels too real. He’s so warm and so heavy.

“Lick.” He commands. He swears to himself that he’ll go away forever after this, the final piece to his happiness puzzle.

Tears start to fall down your face but he’s still insistent on having you eat his cum out of his gross plaything. When you don’t move, he leans over and presses it to your face.

“Lick.” 

This time, out of fear, you do. His cum tastes rancid, like battery acid. Disgusting would be more than an understatement. That doesn’t stop you from cleaning the toy with your tongue like your like depends on it, because right now...it might.

His eyes are tired when he smiles, almost dead, he looks sick. His hairs greasy, skin is pale, and he’s fisting his half hard dick while he watches you take his seed into your pretty mouth. You’ve never been this close to him before.

He strokes himself back to hardness like a delinquent. He knows he wants to leave you alone, but now he just can’t. When he tosses the fleshlight aside you’re shaking and crying begging him to go away.

“Kenma, please-” As much as he likes when you say his name, he can’t help but stifle your desperate begging with a kiss. 

It’s gross, wet, and all over the place, but Kenma doesn’t notice that. He’s never kissed anyone before and he’s beyond ecstatic that it’s you. You don’t bother with kissing him back, you just lie there, eyes open and crying. 

He savors this kiss, his first kiss. His lips are softer than expected, but he’s not— violence plagues his movements. His heart races even faster now, and when you try to turn your lips away from his he just grabs your jaw and holds you still. He gets drool all over both of your faces, and you can barely breathe. You can still feel him jacking himself off between your bodies and you feel nauseous. This “kiss” is so unpracticed and unrefined, he’s basically licking the inside of your mouth and breathing in your face.

Why is he doing this?

You feel him finally moving from your lips and pulling your shirt up to let cold air hit your tits. For a second, he pauses to catch his breath, chest heaving and spit covered mouth hanging open. He stares down at your chest in awe. You turn away in embarrassment, he doesn’t mind it; you must be terrified.

With one hand holding your shirt up, he brings the other from his dick to squeeze at your chest. You wince and struggle against him because he’s so fucking rough and it hurts. Then he gives one of your breasts a hard slap, and you start to writhe up under him. 

It brings a smile to his face, but he doesn’t do it anymore. He wants to try something different.

He carefully slides down off of you and between your legs. He grossly presses his face against your clothed cunt and smells you even licking you through your pajama bottoms.

He sees the shock on your face when you sit up to look at him and he simply brushes it off, too far gone to be considerate at this point.

When his hands pull down your pajama bottoms-

“No no no no nononono Kenma please stop it.” You whine and kick at him uselessly. You sit up to try to push his hands away but its all useless, he’s so unreasonably strong for someone his size. When he finally slides your pajama bottoms and underwear off of you and on to the floor he buries his face between your folds.

It’s like when he was kissing you, gross, wet, and unpracticed. He’s just haphazardly lapping at your labia and vulva. You push at his shoulders trying to get him off of you while crying your eyes out. It doesn’t seem to effect him though, he just locks his arms around your thighs, sliding you down onto your back. 

At some point his tongue washes clean over your clit and he feels your body jolt from the pleasure. He finds it again and your body stiffens. He looks up at your crying face and squeezes the meat of your thighs between his fingers as he abuses your clit to no end.

You’re sobbing at this point because to you this all feels without reason. For the first time in your life you are scared of Kenma. From what you remember of him, he was always voiceless and sweet, even during school when he decided to show up. He was a kid who always greeted the teacher, even if it was wordless, he got his work done on time when he could, and he minded his business. You never talked to him, but you did hold his understated presence in the back of your mind— for the longest you pegged him as a boy who could be pleasant if you got to know him. So, why was he doing this? Why is he hurting you?

You made him your roommate because you thought that he of all people wouldn’t do this. You wanted to be friends. What did you do?

Now he’s violating you after a year of little to no interaction and him being barely there. He knows it’s wrong and you're not fighting him anymore, you’re just laying there, chest heaving and silent.

He lifts his head to plant a wet kiss on your inner thigh and drags his tongue against the soft skin momentarily. He looks at your scared face and gives a crooked smile. He’s sorry, he really is but this feels like a dream to him. You're too good not to take. 

He finds himself positioning his dick right between your folds and rutting against you. You really must’ve given up, your fight is long gone as he holds you down by your pelvic bones—uncut nails breach your soft skin.

Excitement fills his body as your wetness begins to coat his length as he rocks himself back and forth. He’s careful and his breathing is labored.

“I-” He tries and fails. “You never noticed me, but I’ve loved you forever.” He’s shy. Kenma looks down at your stomach, too embarrassed to meet your crying eyes. 

“We went to school together for years...” He trails off, still staring down. He doesn’t have the guts to look at the mess he’s made of you. “I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn’t like- no. I was scared.” He shakes his head softly and finally meets your eyes. You're still crying. He feels his throat tighten and he doesn't want to talk anymore.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He stops his movements to reach over and pull the pillow from behind you. He puts it over your face and thinks to hold it there, maybe to suffocate you for a second, but he doesn't. He’s already done enough bad. He just lets it sit there, you’re the one to grab it and hold it there. 

You hold it against your face like your life depends on it. You can't breathe very well, but what does it matter? You want him to go away.You want this to end. So, you cling onto that pillow and pretend like you’re anywhere but here.

It’s an illusion that fails quickly. You feel him press his length into you. It’s rushed, it hurts, and he doesn't know what he’s doing. You squeeze the pillow, and his sweaty hands play with your tits. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes. You don’t want this, it’s a nightmare.

He’s not that big, rather small actually, but he has girth. He hopes you can feel it. He moves slowly dragging every inch of himself against your walls. He mouths at your nipples and it feels yucky. At some point you’re sure you feel him lay a wet kiss on your stomach.

You don’t know. It’s over quickly, but it feels like forever.

 His thrusts were sloppy and unseasoned just like everything else he’s done. He’d never had sex before, but he hoped he was good. When he came his body seized and his fingers dug into your sides. He was glad you weren't watching because the embarrassment from coming so fast a second time was much easier to handle. 

You two sit in silence for a while after that, the only audible sound is you sniveling. He watches silently as your body shakes and tucks himself back in, to at least feel decent. It’s like that for five whole minutes until he finally decides to go back to his room. 

In the silence of his own dark room the water works start in full force as he comes to terms with what he’s done. He’s a degenerate who will struggle to sleep tonight.

[unhealthyfanobsession]

I'm bored too,

lets go big or nothing Rhysand / feyre either or both if you like ❤❤

(i lied i have a test a few hours later but im too scared to study anything now)

I’ve already done Rhys and Feyre separately so I’m going to use this opportunity to do Feysand as a unit. I want so badly to just talk about how they are bad rulers but that’s already been said and lots of people agree with it.

My unpopular Feysand opinion is that they don’t actually know their own families. I am not going to say they don’t care because I think they do, but their caring comes from a very “this is what I want so this will make them happy.” kind of place.

I think with Rhys this is largely about wanting to grant “privacy”, but I think about the conversations in ACOWAR where Feyre tries to push him to talk about the whole messed up Mor/Azriel/Cassian triangle and he just keeps saying it’s their business and don’t meddle etc etc but… it’s been 500 years? And we’ve seen from ACOSF and the deleted scene that Rhys has NO PROBLEM controlling/ meddling in peoples lives so what is the logic for never having a conversation with people you consider to be family for 500 years? That’s some toxic masculinity don’t discuss your feeling BS if I’ve ever seen it. Azriel is just always puffing off in shadow and Rhys is like yea that’s just Az who knows where he goes or anything about him certainly not me his brother of 500 years. He obviously doesn’t know Mor…I think it’s presented as having healthy boundaries but my dude there is nothing healthy about these boundaries. Healthy boudnaries are like “don’t force me to talk after I’ve told you I don’t want to and I mean it” not “allow me to angrily disappear into shadow for days, maybe torturing people?, and say and do nothing and ask no questions.” That’s not a brother relationship. That’s an outdoor cat.

And then Feyre. Oh Feyre. I believe she means well but she literally doesn’t know anything about her sisters. Which I don’t even think is unreasonable since she probably put a guard up but her whole opinion of Elain is essentially “sweet. Likes flowers. But still wouldn’t reach me to read if I asked because she’s an evil sister.” Which makes NO SENSE and I think her perspective is why everyone finds Elain so boring. Because we don’t know anything about her because Feyre doesn’t. And then Nesta I mean… ACOSF speaks for itself. The number of things that show Feyre as an unreliable narrator/ just things she didn’t know or remember is astonishing.

I think the Rhys part is definitely worse since Feyre is yknow 22 and also has problems with her sisters but the IC supposedly being family of 500 years and then knowing nothing about each other is just a weird as hell dynamic.

[firelord-frowny]

so, i’m back in my I Need To Start Therapy Again mood. 

Which I mean... technically I’m ALWAYS in that mood lmao but sometimes I’m able to go several weeks feeling comfortable that I’m doing all the good things I can do for myself in my current circumstances, and that it would be unrealistic and unfair if I asked any more of myself. These are usually the weeks where I’m practicing violin like crazy - I’ll never get into the quality of graduate program I want to get into if I don’t practice hard and long. 

But like WOW the kind of depression I get when I think too hard about the fact that my current level of success in my ~professional life~ is not at ALL congruent with my high skill levels and tremendous potential... is probably my least favorite kind of depression I’ve experienced so far. I mean, it’s not totally soul-rending and helpless like my transness/gender dysphoria. It doesn’t make me want to die, and it doesn’t make me fear that I’ll never find true comfort and happiness and companionship in life. 

but it DOES make me feel... pathetic. Like, people that aren’t half as good as I am at things are world famous for it. People are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, sometimes more, doing the exact same shit I’m good at. Musicians who are not nearly as skilled as I am are off getting graduate degrees and becoming professors and founding regional orchestras. people are getting their writings published. 

and i’m just?????

not. 

and i know I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW that the main reason for this is because I don’t even give myself the chance to try. Literally, I’m not DOING the things that could lead to me actually reaching my full potential and enabling myself to make an actual living. I don’t have any writings published because I’ve never fucking sent anything to a publishing company, or a literary magazine, and I’ve never put any genuine effort into actually finding an agent. I don’t have an advanced degree in music because i haven’t fucking auditioned for any programs. i’m fucking broke because i don’t actively seek out gigs because i’m too full of myself to want to play the kinds of gigs that are easiest to get, aka, I’m Too Stuck Up To Play With People I Think Are Bad Musicians. i can’t drive because i’m too scared to learn*. I’ve never put real, sustained effort into capitalizing on any of the professors I’ve had who have offered to help me advance my education and my career. I mean, I’ve emailed people about it, but they don’t reply (EVEN IF THEY’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO EMAIL THEM???) and then i’m too self conscious and embarrassed to try to contact them again, even though i KNOOOOWWWWW that they’re not going to be a dick to me about it. 

i remember in a Divorce Court episode, one of the litigants suffered from anxiety so bad that it kept her from even leaving the house on a regular basis. So the judge brought in a mental health expert to talk to her about what, exactly, is the cause of that kind of anxiety, and why it requires treatment. the expert said something along the lines of: “Anxiety only gets worse over time, and it does not get better without treatment.” which i mean, i am SURE it’s not quite that simple, but it certainly rings true. I’m more of a terrified, self-loathing wreck now than i was when I was like 17. 

So like... it’s totally unreasonable for me to just white-knuckle my way through life and just Hope that someday I’ll suddenly manifest the ability to be proactive in building a good life for myself. 

so i KNOW i need help. and a lot of my frands in real life and on tumblr have encouraged me to start therapy again, and assured me that no, my therapist is not going to roll her eyes at me and call me stupid and lazy for having quit therapy with her all of a sudden over a year ago. 

But I still can’t make myself do it. :( And one reason, I know, is because I have new insurance, and the fact that I don’t know how insurance even works makes me feel so overwhelmed. like, how do i even tell her what my insurance is?? what sort of Actual Information am I supposed to give her?? does it pay the entire cost, or just a portion?? and if i do have out of pocket costs... how do i even pay those??? 

OBVIOUSLY this is all stuff that the therapist (or her secretary or whatever???) would explain to me. she’d tell me what information she needs, and where to find it, and then all i’d have to do is just... obey! follow her instructions!

but im like LITERALLY almost in tears right now just thiking about how much i don’t want to experience the undue and irrational embarrassment I’ll feel when I have that conversation with her. 

it’s so fucking stupid!!!! 

i don’t feel quite this awful about this shit all the time, but the fact that my mind even puts me in this place at all is just??? SO unhealthy. and i deserve treatment for it, just like i deserve treatment with any physical/medical ailment i may ever have. 

tbh at this point i have half a mind to just... ask a friend to pretend to be me and call my therapist and schedule an appointment for me, bc right at this moment, i REALLY don’t feel like i can do it. :( 

or maybe i can draft an email and then just have someone else hit send. 

idk.

im having a bad night. :(

i was about to type that i just want to be normal. but i don’t want to be normal. i like being fucking ridiculous. what i want is to be FUNCTIONAL.

[punksouthie]

wait i know you said you wouldnt elaborate on buffy and faith being ooc on the ats Sanctuary post but i need to know your thoughts 😳 if youre open to it ofc.

well… since u asked. i remember reading a post where someone explained this much more coherently than i will but i cant find it so. i’ll do my best.

it’s pretty much only buffy and angel’s portrayal that i Do Not think was done well. Faith is fine really, she’s come off that “nothing i do matters bc i dont matter bc im already dead so why not fuck everything up” mindset and she now has to deal w Everything. angel is at his best this ep and also at some of his worst, particularly w his interactions w buffy. he’s the forgiving figure, the guiding hand that faith needs, and he extends unending kindness that he LEARNED from buffy, he learned how to be a hero from her, how to forgive when it seems impossible. (see: That Hug in “Beauty and the Beasts”) and then buffy gets there and shes very vindictive, and its framed as buffy being jealous of faith&angel (her looking in on their hug parallels that scene in “Enemies”). she’s very much supposed to be the “antagonist” of the ep as much as the council or as kate. but in Buffy her distrust of faith was understood as very complicated identity issues in s3 and then bc of guilt abt the whole stabbing situation in s4 (and still complicated identity issues too). buffy DID try to forget abt faith, and she’s then faced w faith’s understandable stance of “u stabbed me and also killed my dad and also put me in a coma and also forgot abt me square tf up???” and she spends the entirety of “Who Are You?” literally walking a mile in faith’s shoes, and at the end of it she doesn’t look Vindictive or Angry she looks conflicted, and even sad.

And then we get to Angel and none of it tracks. now i love Mean buffy, bc she can be mean, but her meanness is almost always a tool to push ppl away (see: “When She Was Bad”) not as a reactionary thing. that scene on the rooftop between buffy and faith is The Scene of “Sanctuary”, but everything around it makes it less poignant than it could’ve been. buffy HAS offered forgiveness many times to faith, and she HAS been spat on and made a victim, but it Feels like the writers want you to see buffy as unreasonable coupled w the rest of her characterization which consists of her bragging abt riley to angel and then hitting him (she has tried to hurt him w her words b4 when she feels hurt, see: “you have a heart? it isn’t even beating.” but she Never got physical w souled angel) and it feels… icky. bc buffy is portrayed as a “bitch” and angel’s the Good guy who just wants to help in comparison. also that fkn line “i’m sorry but i’ve never killed anyone.” like… bro she just wouldn’t say that. SHE was the one who originally wanted angel to get thru to faith in “Consequences” bc she understood that angel knows what it’s like. and to be clear, buffy Should be trying to hold faith accountable, i just don’t think she would’ve gone abt it like That. yes, she would’ve been irritated and upset, faith rejected her help and her forgiveness and that scares her, i think buffy would’ve even been bitter that angel got thru to faith when buffy’s the one who’s been trying to do so since “Revelations”, sometimes halfheartedly but still. i just can’t see buffy acting like that when its so clearly just a device in order to bring more conflict for faith to make the decision to turn herself in and maybe even to make angel look like the Rational one, it is his show after all. hope i explained that well, never done this sort of post b4.

TL;DR this ep provided Way too much food for buffy antis by presenting her as an antagonistic character on the same sort of level as kate and the Council, despite what happened at the end of “Who Are You?” just to present angel as the good guy savior in comparison. and she says and does things she wouldn’t say or do (brags abt riley, calls angel a murderer, hits angel) to make her seem unreasonable. basically, they kinda treat her like a tool for the plot (faith turning herself in), and it rubs me the wrong way.

[kakyoinryoko]

im curious what u think jotaros life pre sdc was like

probably not good from what we see but i’m not super into speculation about this sort of thing beyond what can be inferred on a pretty base level... like, i feel no need to have detailed headcanons about everything that happened to him exactly. i have vague ideas but nothing super in depth outside of how him being gay and trans affects things already established or implied. i don’t know what exactly jotaro’s high school fights would revolve around, for example, and i don’t particularly have any desire to come up with any headcanons for this. i say this but i’m about to drop an entire essay here i guess. cool, embarrassing, etc

i’ve talked about it a little before but i think Something happened to him between entering high school and reaching his third year that kinda fucked him up, and whatever it was caused him to start acting more coldly and harshly towards his mother, who he previously was very openly loving towards. i’ve heard people say that the only reason holly sees him that way at the beginning of sdc is because she has illusions about her son being a better and kinder person than he is, but that’s just not true. i don’t think the imagery of him dressing like a proper student and being happy to receive a valentine and smiling at her and openly expressing his love for her cooking were false memories, i think he actually said and did those things, it was just stuff that happened when he was younger, probably a first year. i’ve said it over and over, but as it is, in the present day (as of sdc), she fully understands what her son is like. she’s introduced into the series asking the cops how many people he killed. that was her instinctual guess upon hearing he was arrested—this says to me 1) he’s never been arrested before, but 2) she knows about the fighting he gets up to and has feared that this is where it would end at some point. she also emphasizes the fact that he can’t fool her when it comes to his tough guy act—she realizes that it’s deep beneath his extremely rough exterior, but he IS a good and caring person at heart. she never says anything about him that isn’t true, and anyone brushing her off as a dumb naive woman just isn’t reading between the lines. or maybe isn’t reading at all frankly. it’s all right there in front of you.

as for his past. at a guess. it seems like he doesn’t really have any friends at all, at any point in the manga, outside of the people we see him interacting with in the parts themselves. as of his childhood and teen years, the fact that he’s half american and his father is largely absent is one possible reason i have heard brought up before, but i think it’s also because he comes across as pretty weird and hard to get along with. as an autistic person i see a lot of myself and my own struggles with interpersonal relationships in jotaro, so i think his issues with people are in no small part because he is autistic himself. i’m not going to belabor the explanation here because others have made better posts than i could about why he reads so heavily as autistic, but i think it comes down to him missing social cues, and not coming across the way he intends to, and not being able to read the implications in the things people say to him, and him being trans on top of that would make him feel like even more of an odd one out. i think he would deal with that by being kind of a sukeban type, so at least his ostracization feels like he’s in control of it and he’s being strong, but even so, acting like a scary tough girl isn’t a replacement for transitioning.

i think he would start transitioning (which is to say, changing his name and presentation and starting testosterone, but that’s about all) late in middle school, around 14, so that by the time he’s a first year in high school he’s fully stealth. and it makes him happy at first, because people are talking to him as a boy, and using a boy’s name for him (perhaps part of why he’s so chill about people calling him by first name the second they meet him, since that’s a little odd to do otherwise), so for a time he’s a happy enough kid. i think t hits him pretty hard and fast, and he shoots up almost immediately and gets to be like six feet tall and buff and deep voiced by the time he’s like 15, so suddenly he’s not so much the awkward american girl as he is the super tall strong guy that the guys all fear and respect and the girls all have a crush on, which is maybe nice at first, but i think the allure would wear off pretty fast.

i don’t think he necessarily realizes that it’s because he’s gay, but we see ourselves pretty clearly that he doesn’t enjoy the attention from girls beyond maybe thinking it’s a better alternative to having them mock him like when he was younger. he hates having them crowd around him and fawn over him—he has no interest in any of them in the first place, and none of them ACTUALLY care who he is, just that he’s tall and strong and handsome, and he hates that. and then, of course, guys fearing and respecting him turns into people wanting to fight him, and something terrible happens as a result of that, and he ends up an extremely guarded and hostile person as a result, even to the ones he loves. it gets to the point where he’s a target for actual serious violence, even from grown adult gang members as we see at the start of sdc, so his desire to keep people away from him as a means of keeping them safe kicks in—and this is something that sticks with him for the rest of his life, even into his 40s with his daughter. only tangentially related but i think the true tragedy of part 3 is that he was finally getting over that mindset, he was finally starting to see value in keeping people close to him and trusting in and relying on others. but primarily we see him express this sentiment towards kakyoin. and kakyoin dies. and more specifically dies for jotaro. so that all comes crashing down hard, and he’s right back where he started.

back to the main point i also feel i should mention i’m 100% of the belief he has perfect grades and attendance even when he’s more into the delinquent act. i say act mostly because i don’t think he’s actually hugely into the whole bancho subculture; i don’t think he would actually join any gangs, i think he prefers to keep to himself until other people go looking to start shit with him, which he always finishes handily (allegedly, no one has ever seen him get hurt before). probably including the teacher who he ran off, regardless of whatever happened then—he says himself that injustice and harming the weak makes him extremely mad, so there was definitely more going on there than just “jotaro got mad at a teacher because he’s a violent person and beat the shit out of him for no reason and so the guy got scared and quit,” though i don’t really care to speculate deeper than that. the teacher was not an innocent party is all i’m saying.

i suppose this is all just an unreasonably long winded way of saying “idk but i sure think about it a lot.” basically just extrapolations from the way he interacts with his peers from what little we see, and from the bio about him coming across in a much more cold and aloof way than he thinks he does, and from his relationship with his mom, and from what we see based on her memories of him when he was younger.

[theyarebothgunshot]

ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸

YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!

Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy

you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*

ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT

YEAH

Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways

i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.

I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it

i would not say no to this

heyloo bee anon here

um- wtf is happening?

jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared

because supernatural is never dead <3

okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃

true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it

WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??

LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE

Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real

bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf

I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO

we would always end up here <3

Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚

yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'

ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,

THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS

YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP

Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon

you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)

longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:

Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit

well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE

bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.

- 🍯

and WHAT a great one it was

I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢

lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??

Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj

god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip

short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)

thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!

I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢

i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon

well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo

Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??

-🍯

yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already

J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon

please, we're having a ball in this bitch

I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??

i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure

want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.

DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3

rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞

i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)

What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon

yep yep essentially djfhs

“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”

I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.

-poker face anon

next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo

ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon

you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!

hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!

AGREED

So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.

Anyway thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).

🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️

As for the Jensen and J*red thing.

I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.

- 🐌 anon

the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.

[pocmuzings]

The rpc wants more diversity which is FANTASTIC! However, as a cis-white-straight-cookie cutter mun, I am often afraid to use more diverse fcs of different ethnic/cultural backgrounds, because in the past I’ve been attacked, quite viscously, for not portraying them how people felt I *should* this is not to say I white washed them; I always do name searches for culturally relevant names. Make sure to research some customs of that particular ethnic group. I am welcome to advice from people with experience with that culture or who have more knowledge than me, and like learning! But, on the same token, rp is a way to escape from the real world for me, and researching too extensively, I.e. learning everything about a particular culture is tiring. It’s not supposed to feel like researching for a paper where I need to cite my sources etc. All this to say, we WANT to be diverse, but sometimes it feels like trying just brings more backlash than sticking with a non-diverse fc. Do you have any tips for someone who wants to be diverse but has had bad experiences when they’ve attempted to do so?

i'm sorry you've been attacked 'viciously' . without knowing the full extent of what happened , i can say that whilst i understand your well-meaning , i feel this is a little bit victimise-y on your end . using the word 'vicious' when being educated for free by poc isn't always appropriate or the way to go . again , maybe it was particularly vicious and this person who attacked you was completely out of line , but you can understand my apprehension as well , on the subject .

i'm glad to hear you're welcome to advice , but in that same aspect - if you're welcome and receptive to advice , why does it then scare you to try again ? you're never going to get it 10000% right . never ever . i rp different ethnicities all the time , and i know i'm not going to get them always right . i do the same thing you do - i research what i can , i follow blogs , i ask people of that ethnicity in the rpc. i make sure i do the work , because it's important . but also , if somebody comes to me and says ' hey , when you wrote xyz . . that wasnt appropriate / was stereotypical ' , i simply say ' im so sorry . i understand . i won't do it again ' . thats all it has to be , and all it should be . maybe you need to also look inwards on how you receive feedback at times , or how well you incorporate what somebody tells you .

i know having bad experiences can ruin a lot of things , but you can also hopefully understand why so many poc are getting frustrated at times . we are out here , answering questions , providing guides , giving resources . we are correcting people when wrong . we are speaking up on micro-aggressions ic and ooc . do you think that thats why WE started rping ? do you think that was how WE want to ' escape the real world ' ? do you know how tired WE are ?

i'm sorry , i'm not trying to be a dick , but i just don't want to pander to white feelings on this . if you messed up , or did something wrong , then apologise . grow from it . learn from it . you don't need to 'cite your sources' when rping . you certainly can also realise you'll get a lot of conflicting information at times , because no one person or source can be monolithic to a whole ethnicity and experience . but that doesn't mean you stop trying , or see it as a ' bad experience ' . i don't understand why somebody would attack you ' viciously ' unless your portrayal of a character was a ) super insensitive , b ) you didn't listen to advice / tips given , c ) you argued back or d ) you continued in the behaviour even after it was told it was inappropriate

again , maybe i'm wrong and somebody was completely unfair to you . but i don't want to spread the narrative that muns of colour are vicious , cruel and unreasonable people if somebody makes an honest mistake . we aren't . we are trying our best to educate white people . for free . we owe you nothing .

[eydi-andrius]

The Beginning after the Finale

Pairing: Yoonbum x Foreigner Detective Female Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: Idk I used my notes for this. :/

Warnings: May or may not continue this one.

- Also, this is my first published fic cuz' I'm a coward so there will be many grammatical errors but I did try to proofread it. I SWEAR!

- Lastly, I'm a new user of tumblr.

- Oh yeah! ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT and I did wrote some curse words...

Summary: A childhood acquaintance of Yoonbum came back to find out that her first case in South Korea will include Yoonbum as a victim.

(I'm always looking for fics about after KS but found a little so I created one for myself.)

The story starts after the chapter ending of Killing Stalking.

You just came back to your hometown after studying and working a bit in US. You never really want to stay there in the first place but your parents doesn't like you staying alone in South Korea. You can't really argue with that. A 16 year old highschool student alone and living on a "not so safe neighborhood where a renter uncle beat the shit out of his nephew while his grandmother watch the whole ordeal afraid of his son putting his anger on her."

You can't help but sigh after remembering what happened to your childhood friend whose name you can't remember.

Him, his uncle and grandmother rents a house your parents owned. The rent was cheap because your parents doesn't really care about the money. At that time they just want a good neighbor to live next to the house where their daughter lived alone.

The uncle appeared to be friendly, caring and kind when he applied for the house. Having his mother lived with him was a plus to your parents because at least someone old will took care of you for sure. However, after his nephew's parents died on a tragic accident, the uncle became aggressive and unreasonably hit his nephew and blame him for what happened.

Of course when your parent's found out your mother's hystericlly ordered you to go lived with them abroad. At that time, you flat out refused them but after hearing their second angry suggestion of kicking out the renter, you just decided to go and obey them afraid of making it worse for the nephew.

"The nephew hmnnm..." you murmur as you try to recall that nephew's name and face. It's been too long and you only remember bits of information about him. Like how feminine his stature was. The way he look shyly when you greeted and passed by him on the streets while walking to school. How his face powdered with red whenever you saw him and smiled widely at him. However despite all those memories, his face and identity remained a mystery. His face was blurry, same with his name.

You huffed angrily as you drum your fingers on the steering wheel. You're annoyed to yourself for forgetting the most important information. Nostalgia seeped through you whenever you think about him. Maybe because you thought he was unique and had an honest air around him. You liked that and you'd like to see him again. And deeply you hoped that he was doing fine.

"DEATH PENALTY FOR THAT BASTARD PSYCHOPATH!" You got spooked after hearing a loud booming voice from a megaphone. It was a quiet day and a shout like that can be heard throughout this town. Luckily the traffic light blared red and so you've got a chance to observe what is happening outside.

Lots of people are yelling with placards on hand in front of Jonggan Hospital. Young and old were gathered outside. Looking and shouting angrily to put a certain someone named "Sangwoo" to jail until he die or punished him with death penalty. You frowned. Death penalty isn't a thing in South Korea anymore right? This person probably did something horrendous to get a suggestion like that from old and young folks.

"Good heavens! What happened to this small town?" You questioned as you shake your head then look at the countdown for a greenlight ready to go forward. Two seconds more. You said on your head.

One last look on the crowd and you decided to drove off when a scrawny boy decided to run when the greenlight was on. You stopped before you run over him but your car still bumped his body. Making him fall over the pedestrian lane.

"Fuck!" You yelled shocked and angrily from the unexpected accident. Hurriedly, you got out your car to see if the man was okay.

You heard the loud beeping noise of horns behind your car when you got out furious at you for stopping so suddenly. However, you are more concerned to the man you almost run over with your car.

"Are you okay!? Do you know how dangerous running on a pedestrian lane with greenlight on!?" You yelled worriedly as you crouched down to check if he was okay.

The guys seemed shocked about what happened and continued to look down on the cement. And so you decided to touch both of his cheeks with your hands and forced his face to look at you. Your eyes went wide as you recognize the face infront of you.

"I'm sorr-"

"Yoonbum!" You interrupted the guy's apology as he spoke when you recognized that small and scrawny face of your childhood neighbor. The nephew you're thinking about just earlier.

Yoonbum blinked when you yelled out his name in surprise.

"Do I k-know you?" Yoonbum stuttered as he frowned questioningly at you.

"Oh my gosh! It's really you! This is me, [Y/N]. You look thinner than you do when we were younger." You beamed as slowly all of your memories of him came flooding back. That scrawny, shy and honest boy you knew is right in front of you.

"[Y/N]? I-" The angry noises of car horns stopped Yoonbum from talking and you realized where the two of you at the moment.

"I'm glad that I got to see you again but the road is not a place for our little reunion. C'mon!" You smiled as you offer your hand and help him to get into your car.

You repeatedly look at the rearview mirror to confirm if the guy you just saw and almost run over was really Yoonbum. Feeling your eyes at him, he looked at the rearview mirror too and your eyes meet. He immediately look away while an obvious blush painted his cheeks.

"I really can't believe this. I was just thinking about you earlier you know. And pondering over what's your name and how do you look but then I run over you. I mean, almost." You chuckled as you slightly looked at him while driving.

You wet your lips and continue talking. "I'm so happy to finally meet you again, Yoonbum." Smiling slightly while looking at the rearview mirror. This time, your eyes meet again but he didn't look away.

"Uhmmm.." You heard Yoonbum uttered softly so you glance his way. You saw him twiddling his thumbs.

"Go on." You nod while looking at the road to encourage him to say whatever he had in mind.

"Do I know you?" Surprised, you stopped and your car screeched loudly. You heard a loud thud beside you.

"Awwww...."

You gasped in horror when you saw Yoonbum's bloody forehead. You immediately grab some tissues on the back sit and dabbed softly on his open wound. That's when you realized that all this time he was not wearing his seatbelt. You cursed under your breathe and muttered a silent sorry to Yoonbum for driving carelessly. You just didn't expect him not to know you when he voluntarily rode your car and listen to your ramblings about him.

Luckily you're on your way to the hospital parking lot. You were really worried about Yoonbum earlier that you decided to bring him to the hospital to be checked by the doctors if he had any injuries from the almost accident.

You got out of the car immediately and guide him to the emergency entrance. On your way there, you saw a police in uniform narrowed his eyes on your direction and jogged angrily where the two of you are. You felt Yoonbum's grip tighten on your hand.

When the police was just two steps away from you and Yoonbum. You hid him fast and pushed the officer away.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! What do you think you are doing? You are scaring my friend, officer." You said sarcastically as you shoved the glaring guy in front of you.

The police officer eyebrows knitted into one. "Ma'am, I mean no harm to you and your friend. But I need to talk to him." He emphasized the word friend as he tried to look behind you. You felt Yoonbum cowers in fear. You hold tightens on his hands. Clearly, there was really something wrong here. However, even though you want to fight the man in uniform, Yoonbum needs his wound treated.

"I'd like to let you, good sir but my friend's head is bleeding and he needs immediate care."

You didn't wait for his reply and you brought Yoonbum to the nearest nurse to help him with his wound.

From your peripheral vision, you saw the officer followed the two of you. When the nurse finally assisted your friend, you immediately stop the officer from interrogating Yoonbum further.

"You know, I don't have any clue about what you need from Yoonbum but can you stop? He almost got into an accident today and by the way his body responds to you, you were making things harder for him. So can you please stop." You glared daggers at the officer who just replied on your statement with a frown.

"Ma'am-"

"[L/N], [Y/N] [L/N]" You interrupted him which made his frown into a scowl.

"Okay, Ms. [L/N]. By the way you look, you're probably just got here and don't know what happened. Your friend there, Mr. Yoon was a victim of a serial killer. Him being out is not good for he was still suspected to be an accomplice even though the court already ordered his innocence." He nonchantly explained as he pointed his hand to Yoonbum who's being tended by a nurse.

He left your mouth agape with his revelation and walked pass you to sit beside the now patched Yoonbum. You followed and immediately hugged Yoonbum protectively from the officer who didn't even tell his name yet.

Then you remembered that Yoonbum doesn't remember you still and so you dropped your arms and just crouched in front of him to look into his eyes. You hold his hands and help him remember you.

"Yoonbum. This is me [Y/N]. The ow-"

"Owner of the house my uncle rented for us." You smiled when Yoonbum continued your sentence. He smiled back with that boyish innocent smile you remembered before but with eyes full with uncertainty and sadness.

"Sorry for interrupting your little reunion but didn't I told you Mr. Yoon to not go out alone to Jonngang Hospital?" The officer glared at Yoonbum who was trying to look and move away.

You bit your lips and stand up to fight the officer for being rude to the obvious scared Yoonbum.

"You nasty off-"

"Seungbae. Officer Seungbae for you Ms. [Y/N]" He interrupted looking at you. As if telling you to fight him.

"Okay, Officer Seungbae. I do understand that you're just trying to protect Yoonbum but can you please stop being nasty and rude to him. He was obviously shooked from what happened to him earlier-"

"And if you don't know Ms. [Y/N], the foreigner. In Jonggang Hospital lies the culprit who broke your friend's legs and forced him to do nasty things for months. And if the people caught him there, the people might become more hostile and believed further that he was an accomplice. Just letting you know in case you don't know" Your jaw clenched at the sneering statement of the officer. You're not annoyed by the fact that you know nothing on Yoonbum's case but the fact that this officer was basically putting all of his anger at you and making you look like a fool.

Instead of continuing the banter with him, you looked at Yoonbum's eyes again who continued to look away.

You have these cases in the US when you're still working there as a detective. Some serial killer let a victim alive to break them and make them believe that they were just like them. Cases abroad are nastier than in here but after hearing that your friend had suffered directly from a psycopath made your heart wrenched in sadness for him. It will take some time to heal them but knowing the person who suffered made you want to help them more wholeheartedly.

"Yoonbum please look at me" You placed both of your hands upon his cheek guiding his face to look at you.

"I don't know what happened and do not know the real reason why you still want to see him despite what he did to you. Maybe to see him suffer or whatever but I believe that you're innocent. Maybe he ordered you to do nasty things to make you crazy or make you believe that you're just like him but I still do believe in your innocence because you are a victim of him too. Whatever you have in mind, I'll listen to you and guide you through the process. Trust me." You looked at him with your heart out to let him know your sincerity to help him despite the years you hadn't been with him.

Yoonbum looked at you for sometime and then nod squeezing your wrists near his cheeks.

You smiled at him.

You admire how strong he was despite all the struggles he suffered through his lifetime. You promised to yourself that you will help him this time and will not runaway because its dangerous or whatsoever.

You squeezed his hands tight and nod at him happily.

P.S. Notes are highly appreciated. Thank you so much!

[fuwahiko]

Alright then one more ask then I'll switch up the context, can't be TOO predictable. Let's make this one...KuzuKomaHina if that's ok. So a while after canon game events, everyone's awake and memories are coming back, and Hinata remembers that he actually said NO to the Kamukura Project thanks to Chiaki's influence, but his parents signed him up for it, even though they knew they'd probably never see Hinata again. Some memory-altering stuff got Hinata to think he consented to everything, and this messes him AND Izuru up for a good month or two. He almost shuts everyone out because of this revelation. Thoughts? (...im really good at protag angst as you can tell...ill switch it up soon dont worry XD)

YESSS KUZUKOMAHINA!! <3 <3

omg stop hurting my boy he’s been through enough >:(

ok so I’m thinking this would be when everyone’s on the ship after the events of the anime, yeah?

so Hajime’s out on the deck, watching the water and just resting, slowly working through the memories that are beginning to fill his mind again, when he catches a little hint of a memory that confuses him. he focusses, trying to sort through all the mess in his head, then suddenly everything regarding the Kamukura Project clicks into place and he just starts to panic.

he knew his parents had sometimes been unreasonable, that they had pushed him into difficult situations at times, they’d had their fair share of arguments and had fallen out plenty of times as well, but this... this was just absolute betrayal! did they even care about him in the first place? were they just using him? did they only ever see him as some kind of... some kind of show animal or something?? they cared more about some kind of “success” than about him as a person? really?

everything’s swirling together, he feels dizzy and shaky and he’s struggling to breathe properly. alarms are going off in his head and it’s like everything is crashing down, the world around him swallowing him whole. he just about registers Fuyuhiko and Nagito walking up to him, but he’s so overwhelmed and scared that as soon as Hajime’s even made eye contact with them he just gets up and runs off to his room.

his boyfriends have no idea what just happened but are immediately concerned. here they were, just having a nice stroll along the deck when they see Hajime sitting alone, they go up to greet him and before they even get that close he looks up at them with a panicked expression and a pale face and just... leaves.

by the time they catch up to him, Hajime is already locked up in his room. Fuyuhiko knocks on the door and asks him what’s going on, and Hajime is sitting just on the other side of the door, leaning up against it. he replies, but his words are messy and he sounds like he’s really struggling. Nagito softly asks Hajime to let them in so they can help, but he refuses. in the end it seems like there’s not much they can do, but they can’t bring themselves to just leave him entirely, so Fuyuhiko and Nagito both sit down on the floor and patiently wait for a while, not saying a word.

Hajime doesn’t leave his room much after that. he’s not eating as much and kind of just avoiding everyone. after a few days of this, Fuyuhiko and Nagito are outside Hajime’s door again; they tell him they’ve been worried sick, that they just want to see him again, that he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to but if he does they’ll listen without judgement. they just want to be with him. there’s a pause, then footsteps, and then the door opens and Hajime is standing before them; his head low and eyes directed at the floor. “...I’m sorry” he says, and moves to let them both into the room.

they have a few little meetings like this over the next few weeks; they sit together in Hajime’s room, but he doesn’t talk. usually everyone’s quiet, but sometimes Fuyuhiko or Nagito will talk about little things that Hajime has missed during his time alone; just little moments or amusing things people have said, that sort of thing. sometimes they’ll cuddle for a while, sometimes they’ll play some music in the background, but Hajime remains mostly silent.

one day they’re all in Hajime’s room again, they’ve been there for a while and Hajime is seeming more stable than he had before. Fuyuhiko and Nagito share a look, then slowly they both reach out and each take one of Hajime’s hands in their own. they ask him, speaking slowly and gently, if he can try and tell them what’s on his mind, even if it’s just bits and pieces. they tell him to take his time, that they can all work it out together and that he can stop talking if he starts to feel overwhelmed or upset. Hajime nods his head.

slowly Hajime tells them about what he had remembered; that he’d never agreed to taking part in the project and that his parents had forced him against his will. he told them about how betrayed he felt; like they never cared and he really meant nothing at all to his own family. it takes a while to get it all out, Hajime goes silent a few times and Fuyuhiko and Nagito patiently wait for him, still holding his hands and stroking them reassuringly, until Hajime eventually finishes speaking.

when he’s done he tells them that he feels tired, but he wants them to stay. the three of them cuddle on Hajime’s bed; Fuyuhiko and Nagito wait until Hajime is breathing peacefully, fast asleep, then they let themselves fall asleep too and they all rest together for a few hours.

it’s slow going, but Hajime begins to open up again and spends more time outside of his room after that. it turns out everyone else was worried about him too, and just being with all of these people he cares for so much again, these people he’s been through thick and thin with, knowing that they care about him for who he is, makes him feel so relieved and grateful.

Hajime thinks he must’ve ended up with some of Nagito’s luck- to have so many people there for him even after he’d been shutting them out for all that time. maybe that’s what family really is.