#maybe she is upset because of everything that happened with sara

[chloeseyeliner]

after that clip, get me on a plane to fictional sweden.

i'm about to give felice a very. tight. hug. with her consent of course

[marieispink]

My Sara rant before season 3

Season 3 is coming, and with that hopefully Sara's redemption and I have to express my anger before that.

What drives me soo mad with Sara in season two is that she's aware of the wrong of her actions, but she refuses to acknowledge the worst of it (as I see it of course). She knows she's in the wrong, but all season she focuses on how Felice will be mad. Not Simon.

She's so desperate to integrate in the upper class that the first concern in her mind is not that Simon, her brother, will be upset at her for using the worst thing that ever happened to him for her advantage (because it all started with her blackmailing August for a place in Hillerska), but with Felice!

(Also Simon doesn't know that she blackmailed August, will it come up in season 3? Hope so)

And in the beginning I took it like she's mad at him it won't last, and then maybe she's supressing her concerns, maybe, like she claims, she doesn't get how damaging it was to Simon, the damage was done she says.

But it's almost worst?? In E5, after she left August waiting in the ball and fought Felice and then went back to August she says that she got freaked out when he said that he's wille's backup and makes him promise not to hurt her. So she knows.

She knows Simon's hurt, she knows there were consequences for being with someone of the royal family, and she knows Simon still loves Wille she said it herself. It drives me insane. Where's her empathy??? Girl you're so much better than this. And still all she talks about is Felice's anger. Not a mention to Simon. It's like he doesn't even cross her mind. The biggest victim here.

Remember in season 1 E2 when she left with Simon the second he stood up? E3 when she was teasing about his crush? Babygirl, come back, you're not this stupid. The damage was done? Be for real.

And I truly don't know if her diagnosis can explain any of her behavior. I'm not neurodivergent and don't know anyone who is, all I have is wikipedia. But this isn't like when she was missing the signals in the room with Felice's mother. It's just so egocentrical.

And that takes me to my biggest complain, to me, her feelings come partly from the fact that August is the ideal of upper class aka the life she wants. And she loses sight of what she is in that.

Far from me to condemn someone that wants to social climb, that was my favourite part about her in season 1. I was like yes girl I get you, I want pretty dresses too, their shit is so much better. But she gets lost in the dream, and that's why she loses everything by the end of the season.

I understand that her issues with bullying gave her this desperate desire to fit in, and in hillerska fitting in means different things, but the class division is never too far. Even when she's accepted into manor house, her social space is completly dependent on Felice, all of the girls turn on her the second Felice does, they don't even care to hear her side or keep the peace, like friends would. They're not her friends, but she ignores all that.

At this short moment between S2 E3 e E5, Sara has almost everything she wants, August, Her place in manor house, a friend group, and Rosseau's going to a good family. Does it last? No. Is it perfect? No, because it's fake. It's all fake. She's not one of them, she'll never be. It's all hanging on lies and the will of the upper class. No matter who she dates, where she lives, it's all fake.

But does she think of Simon? No! Or at least, if she does, we don't see it, until it blows on her face. My theory is denial, she knows she's in the wrong, so she won't even let herself think of him, but like, what an asshole.

And she goes and tells August that Simon's going to the police. As if he was ever going to confess, she's not stupid, she can't possibly honestly think he will. And if he did then what? How's that any better? She still hid it.

And it annoys me at that scene when she tells August he was supposed to confess, honey, did you insist for him to go to the police after you started kissing? You didn't want him to confess. Don't pass the blame, you're still accomplices.

That being said, I still hope for her redemption. I do miss the Eriksson siblings from S1, good times. At least she seems to be sorry now (Finally!). Can't help but think she's only sorry she was caught like August, but I guess we'll see it now on the 11th.

Please let it be good, I saw a theory she'd be in a car accident? If Simon forgives her just because she almost dies I'll be so upset. She needs to work for it. Simon deserves it.

We have no good information on Sara, she's probably going to spend the season with the Felice plotline that I won't care for. She's almost kissing August in the trailer, but I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt. If not I hope she's miserable with him S2. They can be together in unhappiness, maybe she can visit him in jail.

[salted-caramel-tea]

What are your thoughts about?

I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .

actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.

im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.

just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .

im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.

who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering

on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.

what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them

but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .

the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.

I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .

im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.

people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hi AJ! I’m sorry if you’ve been asked this before but I couldn’t find anything like this 😅 as an old GSR fan I’ve always thought their ending in 9.10 was perfect, even if I missed them on the show, it just felt so right. So I was a little upset when Sara returned sans Grissom and I tend to ignore the divorce thing and all that came with it because imo the two of them in Costa Rica after everything they went through just made so much sense to me. So I was wondering what you think would have been their ultimate ending, like if Sara hadn’t returned and they stayed together around the globe until, idk, they both returned for the show’s finale together. Like what would life have been for them then? I know that’s way AU but it’s honestly how I sometimes want to think of them, even if I loved the finale and their return in CSI Vegas. Sorry for the lengthy question 😳 thank you so much for all your writing and meta, I’m a huge fan too! 🤍

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you enjoy my stuff.

re: your question:

i'm very much with you in feeling like the reunion in episode 09x10 "one to go" was the natural conclusion to the gsr canon storyline.

while of course i don't begrudge jorja fox returning to work on the show—her career, her call—from a storytelling perspective, i also, like you, wish grissom and sara could have remained together off-screen for the duration of the show, only returning for the series finale.

there is no part of sara's or gsr's story from episode 09x10 "one to go" on that i would lament the loss of could we swap it out for them getting to keep their happy ending in the rainforest (and never having to go through that godawful, nonsensical divorce).

that said, i will admit: i honestly have never given much thought to imagining what might have happened had sara never returned to the lab in s10.

my personal "ignoring the later seasons of show canon" happy place au actually starts a bit earlier, in s8, based on the premise of "what if sara never left vegas to begin with?" so that's where i spend most of my daydreaming hours.

that so, i'm afraid i don't have a particularly well thought-out or cogent answer to your question.

there are probably lots of ways that scenario could play out satisfactorily.

to offer a few:

they could stay in costa rica, continuing with whatever scientific research work sara was doing there at the time that grissom joined her. could be there for however many years. eventually, they could retire. live on the beach. become that eccentric old american couple with a house full of curios, insects, and animals. grissom could wear hawaiian shirts. sara could learn spanish. they could come back to vegas for the series finale tanned (in grissom's case) and freckled (in sara's), with windswept hair and deep, deep smile lines, grissom spouting off dichos and sara with photos of sea turtles in their "front yard" saved on her phone.

they could essentially do what in canon they do between "immortality" and csi: vegas s1: i.e., globetrotting as they engage in some kind of scientific research. both of them are wired such that they want to make positive contributions to the world they live in, so they could end up having "second careers" in conservation work (whether it were with a "save the bees" initiative or a sea shepherd expedition or something else related to ecology) in order to scratch that itch. maybe they could live on a boat like the ishmael and sail the seas. conversely, maybe they could be more landbound but move around taking part in various projects, like setting up urban apiaries or tracking butterfly migratory routes. when they came back to vegas for the series finale, they could have all sorts of stories about the places they'd been and the work they were doing. invite greg to come and join them the next time they were in the amazon. tell catherine if she ever wanted to catch the whale stopover in baja, she could always crash on their couch.

or, in a slightly different spin on the above idea, maybe they could become wildlife photographers or national geographic explorers.

they could also go on the lecture circuit, traveling around to offer seminars at different criminalistics conferences and law enforcement training programs around the world. after all, between them they have almost forty combined years of experience in the field and share a wealth of knowledge, which they could use to educate the "rising generation" of forensic scientists. they've both always been excellent teachers, too. and it would be a fun little callback to the way they met, right? maybe in the finale, some new lvpd hire could recognize them from a panel they attended in grad school; admit to having a secret crush on sara ("she was just so knowledgeable about everything, up there with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, talking about how you can't always trust your first blush—").

alternatively, they could settle down someplace, whether abroad or back in the states (maybe in california, to be close to grissom's mother?). perhaps grissom could take work at a university, teaching and conducting research, and sara could assist him. she could also pursue some kind of work of her own—maybe with a nonprofit project. (she's so multitalented and highly educated; there are a million and one things she'd be good at!) she could also potentially go back to school to pursue a phd so that she and grissom could eventually be spousal hires at the same institution. rock back to vegas in the finale as "dr. sidle" or "dr. grissom."

they could write books together: on criminalistics, on entomology, on something they had researched. bonus points if some aspect of the case in the series finale touched up on the subject they'd been publishing about.

i've always liked the idea of them maybe trying out the ranch life—living out in the countryside, away from any big cities, having a few horses and chickens and dogs and cats, grissom getting to play out some of his childhood cowboy fantasies, sara maybe doing some equine therapy. they could take up insect farming. (spending so much time in nature and around animals would undoubtedly be something they'd both enjoy. good for them, too!) picture grissom making all sorts of metaphors about roping and riding in the finale. sara just beaming at him ("okay, buckaroo").

they could—maybe after some significant time spent away from the field—return, once they were no longer burnt out on the work, to criminalistics, but at another lab, away from vegas (and all its "ghosts"). maybe the finale could involve some cross-country fugitive case that required their lab to team up with the lvpd.

maybe grissom could take an early retirement and sara could work in some field of her choosing—something to do with animal advocacy or scientific consulting work (putting that ol' physics degree to good use). grissom could develop some obscure hobby, like raising heirloom vegetables or reconstructing ancient roman board games or something. baffle everyone with references to it during the finale.

one thing i think would be true across all of these scenarios is that grissom and sara would get married (probably not long after their jungle reunion).

there could be versions of this story where they have kids, either biological or fostered or adopted.

versions where it's just them and a dog.

i tend to prefer takes where they'd still remain in contact with their old friends as opposed to completely falling off the grid (as seems to be the case post-"immortality" in canon), though they could do so living far away, if needed.

of course, the main thing i would absolutely want to see would just be them together and thriving, with their happy ending intact.

anyway.

sorry i don't have a more well-thought answer for you!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Ok, hi friends. I’m going to talk about the pictures. If you don’t want to see the pictures, or talk about the pictures, move past this post. There will be another post for you that doesn’t have any promo stuff soon. BUT to the 700 anons who asked me to look at them, here you go:

This picture. This fucking picture. Wilhelm looks so devastated. And August looks so content. I'm pretty sure it's the first day back at Hillerska. I honestly can't tell if August is acting or not. But Wilhelm... he's definitely not. He's pissed the fuck off. ALSO, he's sitting next to Henry. That's Henry's hair. So... Henry supremacy.

Oh god, even his curls look sad. Everyone has already summed up my theories for this scene. I think he's definitely talking to them about something that happened at Hillerska. Probably something that happened only minutes earlier. I think it's a conversation happening at Hillerska, even. I have a couple of different theories about what could lead to this conversation. Maybe he had an interaction with Wilhelm. Maybe he just found out August leaked the video. But he looks devastated. Rosh looks like she's being the group mom. Ayub is being supportive, like always. I honestly can't wait to see this group's dynamics this season. Simon is definitely getting more into Hillerska culture in these pictures, and that was something that really put a wedge between them in season 1.

Felice and Wilhelm friendship!!! I'm excited. I love them. Also, the hair??? on both of them??? I don't know if I should cry or not. I like that they look relaxed around each other. Felice doesn't look like she has much makeup on. They're both in pajamas, and Wilhelm looks like he's actually opening up to her about something. Also, I know we've all pointed it out, but they're on the other bed. I don't know if it's because he switched to that bed for everything, or maybe they're just sitting there now. Maybe he doesn't let anyone sit on the other bed because it's sacred ground. I don't know, but I can't wait for this conversation. I feel like they're definitely talking about Simon and August. Maybe this is a scene where she convinces Wilhelm to tell Simon that August leaked the video.

This is certainly over the Christmas holiday. I don't know what they could possibly be smiling about. Like what story have the conjured in their own heads to make them be all smily and stuff? And Wilhelm just looks lost. He doesn't even look sad, he just looks numb. There is definitely a spot open where Erik was supposed to be and the picture kind of feels oddly empty because of it. I'd like to see Wilhelm lose his shit in this scene. I'd like to see him go absolutely mental on his parents.

I have so many questions about this scene. Mainly, how they ended up next to each other. Did Wilhelm make a scene about it? Did he ask quietly before they entered the classroom? Are they back together already? I just want to know how we got here. It looks like some kind of literature class, but Wilhelm is absolutely enthralled by staring at Simon. And how are the other students managing to not stare at them when Wilhelm is very clearly fucking giddy about this? It reminds me a lot of the scene in season 1 episode 2 when they're studying and Wilhelm is just absolutely getting nothing done. Simon is either really into that book or really trying not to look at Wilhelm. I can't wait to see what this is.

Ok, something I think we've all overlooked is that August Isn't looking at Sara. He's looking past her. He's staring at the ground, almost. He's upset about something, but I don't think he'd upset with her. And she looks more concerned than pissed off. We all thought that this was going to be a scene where they were arguing, but honestly, the more I think about it, the more I don't think it is. I think August might be spiralling, and I think Sara is trying to stop it. It almost looks like a couple trying to keep a secret. So, I know we're all hoping for Sara and August fighting, but I don't think that's happening in this picture. I think Sara is desperately trying to keep their secret, and I think August is threatening that. And they're in uniform, which means this is also probably the first day back. I don't think they're arguing, guys.

Ok, probably the first day back. Sara and Felice are leading the group. I can't help but notice who's smiling and who isn't in this picture. Felice and Sara are smiling and laughing with each other. Madison is smiling at them. Stella and Fredrika aren't smiling at all. Fredrika doesn't even look a little bit alright. I don't know what the context of this scene could possibly be, but I think it's interesting that Sara is at the head of the group with Felice and smiling, and Fredrika is towards the back and looks upset. It's kind of a flip of the coin from season 1.

Rowing competition? I'm glad Simon stayed on the rowing team. Also, Simon's arms are fully around Wilhelm. He isn't trying to hide it even a little bit. You can kind of see another color team in the background, and there are definitely spectators. I think a rowing team subplot would be a lot of fun, to be honest. It might bring some much needed lighthearted boyish energy to it. Vincent's face makes me wonder if he's some kind of captain this season. Hopefully August fucking quit. If not, maybe he's the captain of the other team. Also new boy in the corner? He might just be an extra, but maybe this man is The Lars. I don't think we need to worry about a love triangle with Lars, though, if he even exists. Have you seen these pictures? Nope. No room for a love triangle. Also, this is my favorite promo picture, and it is simply because Walter is in it. I will not be taking questions at this time.

This look. OMG THIS LOOK. That is a look of a man who has lost every fuck he has ever given. This definitely gives off "first time they've seen each other" energy. Like this is definitely the first time they're face to face since before Christmas. Part of me hopes Wilhelm does something right then and there. He clearly doesn't give a fuck what people think anymore if he's looking at Simon like that in front of everyone. The girl in the back certainly knows what's up. I kind of just want Wilhelm to crack like a glow stick and say "absolutely fucking not, he's mine." It's so charged, it's so desperate. It's so very Wilmon. I'm so here for it.

Ok. Those were my thoughts about the promo pictures. I honestly love the vibe of this season so far. It's so different and yet exactly the same. I am actually super excited and you all better be too.

[hunis-archives]

ok. ok hear me out. 

that one scene in the little princess where captain crewe is trying to talk to sara bc he forgot about her (yk war things!) and sara is like ‘papa it’s me’ and he doesn’t remember having a daughter until like she’s screaming and crying as the police take her away right and ram dass just stares at him. 

but it’s loid , anya , donna , henry (ft. yor and becky) something happens during a mission at eden academy and loid gets FUCKED UP , he’s forgotten all about operation strix because amnesia (I GUESS) and henry found him and is like god GOD man and gets him patched up. and loid is chilling in some study trying to remember who he is. 

anya on the other hand is having the WORST day of her life. the WORST. she messed up BIG time today. well , according to eden she messed up. it is not her fault that she is just a child trying to get through an incredibly difficult curriculum, sometimes they get frustrated, and in their frustration they do bad things. (i can’t think of specifics right now bc i’m still SAD). but the police had to be called due to anya’s unwillingness to cooperate. anya saw henry on the way and thought she would be done for in that moment. henry sensed her fear and decided to let her into the study he just walked out of (the one where loid is in) thinking maybe anya would trigger a memory or two. 

anya’s hiding and crying and just taking a moment and loid pokes his head out like when did a child get in here. he doesn’t like to see children cry, for some reason this one crying makes him hurt even more. so he stands and walks slowly over to console her. anya isn’t looking and she hasn’t realized it’s him yet. since she is upset right now and dealing with a lot she can’t read minds as clearly. 

loid speaks to her slowly , explaining that he’s a friend and he won’t hurt her. when she looks up and realizes who it is she is RELIEVED and immediately goes to hug him. but loid steps back and gently peels her off. now she reads his mind. she genuinely thinks i’m her father? cue the begging and the screaming. anya’s mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario: the mission was completed and loid no longer needs her/loid didn’t need her after all and this is a really fucked up way to cut her out of his life. 

henry stalled enough and had to let to police through , keeping them on school grounds was going to do nothing but hurt eden and its students. but when he opened the door the sight was horrific. anya begging and apologizing for everything she ever did , everything she could have POSSIBLY done wrong , bargaining. saying she’ll study more , watch less TV , take care of bond better , won’t bother him when he’s doing work. ANYTHING to MAKE HIM STAY. loid feels awkward now , he kind of just stood there with his hands up. when the polic questioned him he claimed he didn’t have a daughter. donna is like OH ! so we’re going to start LYING now , get her out of here. and the police pick her up and take her out. anya lets out the most heart wrenching cry you can think of. henry is in shock and loid is in shambles.

yor gets the call that her daughter is being taken by the police and that she AND LOID have to go get her. she tried calling him but the hospital said that he had left work already (idk smth to cover up the fact that he didn’t SHOW UP) she assumed he would be on his way to anya already. when she got there , she saw anya being pulled along by an officer (who was hurting her while trying to keep her from running). immediately began to fight to get her out of their grasp. now SHE is being held back by police and pulled away from anya. (now she COULD fight them off but that puts anya and yor more at risk) both of them are calling out to one another as they are being pulled to separate cars. the commotion has many opening their windows. 

(becky is being held back by her teacher! she didn’t want to lose her friend) loid stared at the wall blankly , he could still hear anya’s cries and apologies. her little hand reaching out to him as the officer pulled her out of there. he couldn’t be a father...she must have missed her real mother and father that much. loid wondered what kind of family he belonged to , and then a question he never asked popped into his head. 

if you were to compare your mama to your old mama, who would you rate higher? 

that was all it took , loid immediately stood up and ran out of there. anya was already in the car , it was yor now that was being difficult. six officers are on her trying to push her in but she’s NOT moving. has the most MURDEROUS look on her face. loid runs out there and in that moment yor breaks FREE and runs over to him ready to explain what is happening but right now he needs to grab anya. he sees her pounding her little fists against the window and DEMANDS that she be let out RIGHT NOW. 

and then you have this heart warming moment you know he’s holding both his wife and kid trying to comfort them as best he can right now. he has a lot of apologies to give (especially to anya)

so yeah :D  if someone had this idea and like wrote it in a fanfic give it to me right now. i NEED IT

[witchofvalyria]

i need more daemyra family moments bc right now, i'm disappointed. i need to buy show!daemon caring about luke to do the B&C incident. also im so mad they cut that hug scene from 1x6. the way the show treated harwin and laena made me so upset. like we dont even get a romantic scene with rhaewin and i do like the two scenes we got, i needed more. laena just got screwed over, they cut her entire courtship (he killed that guy to marry her!) and dont even reference it in dialogue. like that one is so abrupt. i needed more buildup to rhaewin and daemon/laena (i love both ships in the books). random sidenote but they missed out on confirming the rhaenyra/daemon/laena subtext in the book. rhaenyra was with her during her labor. just the erasure of nyra and laena's friendship makes me upset because i know they did it so they could focus on their made-up alicent/nyra friendship. sorry for the rant

the only hightargs i support are helaena and her babies (they were innocent and did nothing wrong). the rest can go fuck off (except maybe daeron, he's on thin ice as his brothers drown)

I sincerely apologize for the late reply...I don't know if you watched it yet, but yesterday episode ten wad leaked....and Oh my God, they ruined the show, even Collen Hoover would have made a better adaptation to fire and blood....There are so many show writers with different opinions that nothing makes sense anymore...

They ruined Laena/Daemon and Rhaenyra/Harwin for Daemyra in hotd, and they just made them lose it in the finale??

[Episode 10 of Hotd spoilers ahead]

Sara Hess was actually warning us about #that scene..Domestical violence is a serious topic, why use it for a couple who loved eachothers...Daemon would never lay a hand on his family, and Book!Rhaenyra would never have allowed him to touch her, and for a prophecy no less??

They didn't give us that scene where daemon hugged Rhaenyra after she just gave birth to Visenya, whom they haven't even named in the show, they made her call out for him while she's giving birth and he ignores her?? And in the end, when he tells her about Luke's death...they hold hands...???

And then they robbed Aemond stanies of his 'it girl moment' and made Vhagar disobey his command and kills Luke by 'accident'....

There are two main reasons as to why the dance happened:

1. The greens usurped Rhaenyra's crown.

2. Aemond killing Luke while he went in peace.

They made one a misunderstanding and the other an accident...they're just screwing everything over...

It's definitely "house of misunderstandings and accidents" now...

And how they're making Alicent and Rhaenyra have no agency whatsoever?? Book Rgaenyra was willing to go for ear for her throne, Daemon was willing to try for peace, not the opposite.

Alicent sat at the head of the green council, they made her an innocent woman whom the men around her are plotting against her back...

JUST LET WOMEN BE EVIL, SELFISH AND GREEDY??!?

Daemon is a grey charachter, he was both bad and good, but he liked his family most of all, they made him an uncaring father and husband...

Sara Hess cut that hug scene and is the one responsible for the larys foot frtish thing too, ans she renewed her contract for season two just a few days ago...

And yes, Helaena and her children were the only innocent ones in the dance

[thiswontbeforever]

Sorry to hear your night isn't going so good. So some random Young Royals related questions for you if you want.

1. What season do you find easier to watch/rewatch.

2. What is your favourite and least favourite episode, can be from either season

3. What is your favourite moment and least favourite moment, can be from either season

4. If you were stuck on a desert island with one character from Young Royals who would it be and why

5. When (if) Young Royals is renewed for Season 3, what is the one thing you really want to happen.

ty anon 🥺

love these tysm!

1) S1 was easier to watch and rewatch. not because s2 isn’t good, but because it’s PAINFUL and i miss wilmon and very very packed full and heavy and frustrating. (all in mostly a good way. again, i still love s2) just S1 definitely felt softer. i haven’t had the time to rewatch s2 since the first week tho.

2) fav episode?!!?? i genuinely don’t know if i can answer this. maybe ep 4&5 both seasons 😭 or s2 eps6 cuz…duh. least fav?? end of s2 ep 3. i’d rather watch wille’s initiation than the end of s2eps3 ever again. i’d watch any of the sircus scenes over it, too (even tho i think i’m in the minority there). sadly, i loved the whole rest of s2 eps 3 actually 😭😭 one whole eps that’s my least fav tho…idk?

3) 1…fav…moment?? cmon this is impossible 😭 ayub & simon arguing over yasmine/yasmina. jk. uh you know what i’m still forever obsessed with the first time we see simon choir scene eps1. genius scene and directing and acting. so beautiful to literally watch wille fall for him and see the initial why as well (simon refusing to back down/actually getting more determined/confident when faced with judgement/bullying). also “did he just say he’d give up the crown for you?”. that whole scene. dkkwkdkwlqoxoe. simon & wille’s i love yous mirroring each other. simons soNG. every kiss. wille’s anxiety attacks specifically in s2/the whole lonely ones song scene. i give up i cant pick 1. least fav? end of s2 eps 3. sorry 😭💀 but also wille’s initiation august recording wilmon. when wille and simon find out about the tape. s2 eps 6 when sara admits she knew bc of how painful it was to watch simon’s reaction 😭

4) omfg okay so my mind immediately went wille or the queen bc they’re important and people would be looking for them. but actually being there with wille would be hopeless. he’d either be excited about it or just having a panic attack which wouldn’t work bc i’d also be having a panic attack. the queen…speaks for itself. my choice just bc i’d want to hang with the character, simon. logical choice, rosh or felice bc they’d figure shit out and survive.

5) SIMON. BREAKDOWN. I WANT HIM TO GET TO CRY AND SCREAM AND FEEL EVERYTHING HE HAS GONE THROUGH. i want wilmon to keep communicating and being bad bitch boyfriends together. i want wille to be there for simon & keep trying to see things from simons pov and what he’s gone through. i just want simons story and storylines to really be there. i want him to finally be comforted instead of doing the comforting and reassuring. i want him to just be upset and angry and let that exist while also being in love and happy with wille. and for him to SING HIS SONG. okay that’s all thank you 🥰

ty again really loved this!!

[xilaxihn]

It was soon Celeste's birthday, and on a crisp autumn day she grew into a toddler. A few days later was also Hallow's Eve, and the family dressed in costume. Ian thought it was fun to dress as a mail carrier. Derek was less enthused with his costume as a pizza delivery person, but was willing to join the fun for Celeste.

They were pleasantly surprised when Sara Scott phoned to ask if she and Simon could come an stay for an extended time through Harvest Fest. Ian agreed, thinking it would be lovely to have a full house during the holiday. Ian and Derek rearranged the office and workroom to make space for extra beds. It was a lot of work at their age, but they were happy to do it to have friends visit.

When Sara and Simon arrived, however, something was amiss. They began arguing in the foyer before even bringing their bags to their room.

"When you said we were going to be taking a vacation, I thought you meant we were going to be going to rent a house somewhere else. Why did we just come to stay with the Moody-McMillans? This isn't a vacation. This is just more of the same!"

"Oh please! Ian and Derek have been married for many years and could give us some perspective on our marriage."

"Did you even bother to ask them if they want to help us out? Or are you just assuming they'll want to like you always assume people want to help with everything around here?"

"At least the people of the village look out for each other instead of being selfish like people from the city."

"Are you calling me selfish? Because I think you're pretty selfish to surprise Ian and Derek with our problems and expecting them to cater to us without warning."

"How dare you call me selfish! I work all day, every day at the pub!"

"I know, because you never have time for anyone or anything else!"

What seemed to be bickering about marital issues suddenly escalated into a brawl in the workroom.

When it ended, Simon went into the living room to calm himself. Celeste was upset by the sudden noise from the fight.

"Why mad?" she asked.

Feeling embarrassed by his behavior, he went upstairs to take his frustrations out on Mr. Yeti.

Ian confronted Sara in the workroom. "This is very unexpected behavior. What is happening between you that has caused such hostility?"

Sara, still fuming, said, "We haven't been getting along. He always wants to drive in to the city and leaves me alone to run the pub. Then he complains I don't make enough time for him, but how can I when I have to run the business? I'm just so tired of having to deal with his whining all the time about living here in Henford-on-Bagley."

"It can be difficult when you have different views on the world. Perhaps there is a way to find a compromise. Maybe once a month you could hire the Chopra boy to look after the pub and take a few days away as a couple."

"Why should I be the only one to compromise? How about he stay home for once instead of leaving me shorthanded?"

"I understand that and he should, but we are discussing this one step at a time," Ian said.

Sara took a deep breathe before speaking. "I think I just need to cool down before I talk about this," she said and went outside.

Meanwhile, Derek attempted to have a talk with Simon.

"We weren't expecting quite a show this afternoon," Derek said, not quite sure how to bring up the subject.

"I'm sorry about that. I wasn't expecting to be here. Sara told me we were going on a vacation to try to work on things, and I was really excited because she works all the time. Then we ended up here."

"I understand that would be frustrating, but we were looking forward to having the two of you for Harvest Fest. Perhaps just keep in mind we have a very little child here and we think of the two of you like family."

"I appreciate that and I do apologize."

Derek nodded. "Try to keep your temper."

"I understand. I think I'll take a walk." Simon exited out into the back yard, and Sara was already there.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm just going for a walk."

"Just don't be running off to the city," Sara snapped.

"Will you please just let it go for the weekend?"

"The whole point of this weekend is to work things out!"

As the argument began to escalate, they drew the attention of Agatha Crumplebottom, who was taking an afternoon stroll. "Now, what's going on over here?" she asked.

"She dragged me all the way out here to live in the country and gets angry that I get homesick for the city."

"It's hard to get homesick when you visit there every week! Don't you dare make this my fault!"

Agatha was stunned by their behavior. "This is no way to act while you're visiting friends. Perhaps you should separate yourselves until you've calmed down."

"I agree with that," Simon said and stomped away into the woods.

"He never wants to work anything out, just run away," Sara said.

"It's hard to work things out when you're angry. Discuss it when you're calm again."

The next morning, the Moody-McMillans woke early to spend some family time together. Derek put on their favorite song for a morning dance for their exercise. Unfortunately, Sara and Simon were already awake and fighting in the hallway.

"I don't know why this is happening. I never thought they were having such serious problems," Ian said.

"I tried talking to Simon but he didn't seem to want my advice," Derek said.

"I also tried talking to Sara, but she seems to think it's all Simon's fault and didn't actually listen to what I was trying to explain."

"No fight," Celeste said sadly.

The noise in the hallway calmed as the front door slammed. Simon and Sara made it all the way to the mailbox before they started fighting again.

"I think I've had quite enough," Derek said and followed them outside.

He watched them for a moment, waiting for a chance to break them up. "All right, that's the end of this! You both need to take your belongings and leave. Go home and go to couple's therapy if you want advice, but you can't stay here. This fighting is unhealthy for everyone, and Ian and I can't be expected to save your marriage. You don't even seem to want advice, so we can't help you."

"I'm sorry, Derek," Sara said.

"I don't want to hear it! Get out!"

And with that, Sara and Simon left, leaving the Moody-McMillains at peace after two days of chaos.

(**Note that this was an unexpected autonomous situation that happened with an extended visit from Growing Together. It could be a chance that your stay-over visitors behave this way unexpectedly.)

[pridepages]

Crushed: Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel

I just finished Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel by Sara Farizan. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

It’s funny how the same word can mean ‘lovestruck’ and ‘damage.’ But when you read Sara Farizan’s Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel, the many different ways queer love can ‘crush’ us are brought into stark relief.

The story features Leila Azadi, daughter of a traditional Persian American family who is crushed by an overwhelming secret. She is not the good daughter her parents and community expect her to be. She’s a lesbian. But Leila doesn’t dare to come out. She has seen before what that can mean:

“We found out through the Persian rumor mill that someone saw Kayvon kissing another guy at a college party...he had to come out to his parents. They didn’t take it well...the Madanis kicked Kayvon out of the house...For a while, I kept hoping someone would mention it--maybe talk about how much they liked Kayvon, or how much they missed him, but the Madanis still comes to all the parties, and it’s like Kayvon never existed. No one mentions him, because they don’t want to upset the Madanis.”

Terrified, Leila keeps her silence, struggling under the weight of her secret alone. “I wonder how long it will take mom to erase me from her memory,” she muses. But Leila’s status quo is shaken up when new girl Saskia arrives on the scene. Saskia seems untouchable: she is gorgeous, sophisticated, a world traveler, living out of a hotel with seemingly endless supplies of money and absolutely no supervision. Constantly seeking entertainment, Saskia begins to toy with Leila. But Leila cannot see that Saskia is dangerous. Because Leila is struck for the first time in her life by an overwhelming, dazzling crush.

The thing about those first crushes as a queer person is that they wake up longings you may not even realize you had. Suddenly, the closet around you no longer feels like a safe haven. You begin to resent it as a prison. “I want to stop living in fear,” Leila announces, “I want to stop coming up with excuses about why I’m not interested in dating. I want my family to know me...I want to stop feeling like everything I am is inadequate or makes me unworthy of love because of something I can’t help.”

Of course, the constant, responsible refrain is that no one should come out if it isn’t safe to do so. It’s an easy, seemingly self-evident platitude. But what safety means for one person isn’t necessarily the same for someone else. Take, for example, the experience of Leila’s classmate, Tomas:

“no one has been more out and proud than Tomas...a few guys wearing ski masks sprayed him with Silly String while calling him a fag. But after that he was taken in by the hot girls in our class...He was a fun new accessory, something you just had to have, the way celebrities adopt babies like they’re handbags. I was happy for him, but I resented the crap out of him, too.”

Humiliation is the price Tomas pays for protection. Just to be allowed to exist in the world, he has to sacrifice his pride. Leila’s resentment, in turn, is double-edged: on the one hand, there’s disgust at the treatment Tomas accepts. On the other hand, he gets to exist openly, tolerated in a way Leila believes would not extend to her since she cannot fit any Straight-acceptable stereotype.

Tomas himself, crushed by his own pain, responds to Leila’s predicament with shortsighted cruelty: “if you came out, it wouldn’t be that big a deal. You girls have it way easier. Two hot girls in high school? No problem, definitely encouraged by my straight male counterparts. However a gay guy--even one as handsome as myself? Not as cool.” Somehow, in Tomas’s mind, misogyny and objectification are easier to bear than other flavors of homophobia. Probably because misogyny and objectification don’t happen to him. It’s easy to diminish pain we cannot feel, particularly when our own heartbreak is busy making us so selfish in our suffering.

Meanwhile, Leila finds her feelings toyed with over and over by Saskia. Though she was at first lost in the high of her crush, Leila soon finds herself crushed beneath the weight of heartbreak as Saskia dismisses their intimacy. “Girls do that all the time. Haven’t you ever been to a sleepover before? Played truth or dare? Come on, Leila. We had fun, but I’m not like that.” 

Coming out for women always risks having your feelings diminished. What’s so painful to see in this book is how much Leila settles in order to find a happy ending. While Saskia is ultimately banished from Leila’s life for her toxic homophobia, Leila is stuck with her family. 

Before she comes out, Leila is forced to hear her father call “gays...those people,” and she confesses “That knocks the wind out of me. I understand it’s a cultural thing, and my father is a traditional, conservative Iranian man, but I’ve never heard him explicitly say something like that...Imagine if he knew I am one of those people.” When Leila finds herself in a position where she has to come out to her parents, her mom greets the news by saying “I didn’t raise you to be that way...maybe you will change your mind. You have your whole life ahead of you.” And we are supposed to be grateful that she didn’t just kick Leila out on the spot. We’re meant to find hope in the aftermath because “I don’t feel less loved or like she’s ignoring me, but neither one of us mentions what I’ve said.” Despite the fact that Leila’s mother is “praying a lot all of a sudden, I notice, which is weird because we’re not religious...I think she’s trying to pray that my lesbian inclinations will go away, but she never says anything about it, so I can’t know for sure.” The closest that we come to a real demonstration of Leila’s mother trying to overcome her deep homophobia is when she asks Leila “‘Is there...someone...you like?’ She can’t even say ‘a girl.’”

And Leila just keeps feeling grateful that all this represents a start to being allowed to live her truth. Considering she feared being disowned, her immediate relief is understandable. But I hope that the Leila who gets to grow up off the page realizes that she deserves more. Because if Leila thought her heartbreak over Saskia was painful, she doesn’t realize that years of being treated as someone who is ‘loved’ but who also needs to be ‘fixed’ is absolutely crushing. 

No queer person has the right to dictate the feelings or boundaries of another. I can’t condemn Leila or anyone like her, any more than I can condemn Tomas for his choices. Out or in, we have to know what we can live with. But what I do wish for all of us is that we all get to experience love free from pain. Love, instead of sitting like a crushing weight on our chest, should make us lighter.

[whathappenedtolilitkililit]

I kinda want to talk about my week but I kinda don’t. Because it was awesome but not entirely awesome and I don’t know what parts to focus on. Maybe stick to facts? I don’t think I’ll be posting this one to Facebook.

So I went to the sentencing for Sara’s murder. It was a three day trip. The guy that did it seemed genuinely contrite and got a 55 year sentence. The victim impact statements said a lot about how Sara’s survivors couldn’t and didn’t want to forgive him. I don’t understand forgiveness, like at all. I don’t care what happens to this guy, his existence is entirely incidental to me. I can’t understand being so upset at this human instead of just experiencing loss. Although I don’t really experience loss the same way humans do either. So I got to sit in a room and hear this guy say he regrets his actions and then hear other people say they hate him. I don’t get it.

But, I got to spend two nights with my by’ilil-e’nia, which was awesome. They feel so perfect in my arms, like the whole universe exists to create that specific configuration. And we took advantage of our time together to enjoy each other thoroughly. They’re going to finally be moving back home with me in a bit less than a year. I’m really looking forward to it.

My girlfriend is not happy. She feels like I don’t care about her. I’m doing everything I can to reassure her except dropping my by’ilil-e’nia, which is extremely not an option. She gets bad road vibes from them, which feels like my fault. I’m a very negative person, so when I talk about someone it’s usually only bad things that get brought up. It’s a real problem of mine.

And that’s my week.

[hanna-kin]

The non Wilmon scenes part 1

These are my favourite non Wilmon scenes in no particular order. This was so hard. Could have picked them all.

I love every scene with Sara and Simon and this one is so good. The tension when dinner starts. Sara feeling like Simon and Linda are gaining up on her and making fun of her. I do think they almost take it too far and I understand why she is upset. Then she lashes out and is very mean to their mum so Simon steps in.

Their argument is just so well written. Sara is angry for Simon seing Micke and she lashes out about him and accuses him of never standing up for himself. He replies with telling her she's not being herself and that she should stop being fake.

And then they both just let their guards down and we see Sara’s insecurities about not being liked and of being the black sheep. And Simon fearing he's losing his bond to Sara in a time he needs her the most. Oh so beautiful. And the acting. Frida just killed it in this.

More sibling scenes. Do you see a pattern? Ugh I just love them all. Just like with Sara and Simon I love all the scenes with Wilhelm and Erik.

This one is just the sweetest. They are causually catching up. Erik is trying to encourage Wille to socialise abit at parents day but it doesn't feel like the pushy way we see in Wilhelm’s dorm.

Then they shift to Simon because of course Erik won't buy Wille's excuse. He's teasing his little brother and he sound and looks so happy and excited for Wille.

Once again I think the tone is just right. They do feel like brothers. Erik is annoying but there's nothing of his crown prince persona in this scene. He's just Wille's brother. Maybe he knows Wille likes boys, maybe he doesn't. But i think this scene shows how much Erik cares about Wille qnd his wellbeing. He's literally beaming because Wille is beaming.

And then total heartbreak. Wille is so vulnerable here. He's obviously a bit drunk and a bit high but this is the most vulnerable we've seen him since the funeral and he's really telling us how he feels. Guilt.

It's interesting how he opens up to August, probably thinking about how Erik trusted August. He's pretty lonely anyway so who else has he got? He's just broken it off with Simon again so he's in a very lonely place.

And I feel like August is really trying. He opens up about his own grief and he's trying to be supportive just like Erik has asked him to. I don't hate August in this scene. Although getting Wille drunk is not it he's also litterally 18 years old and Wille needs a therapist.

What if this could have continued? What if we could have scene this side of August more? The potential. Instead he had to get the obnoxious side win.

I love this scene. Ayub and Rosh shows up as soon as they hear what has happened and I love how they all interact in this scene and the way the scene unfolds.

They are encouraging and attentive, listening to Simon and you can tell that they really know eachother.

I aslo love how they get completely side tracked by Kim Kardashian and her sex tape and go on a little detour in the middle of it. Auyb is such a sweetheart and we see Simon smile.

Also the contrasts of them making fun of Simon for wanting to study heard go be able to get somewhere to Rosh encouraging Simon to stay at Hillerska and not let anyone beat him down. He shouldn't have to sacrifice everything he's worked for.

I love them so much. I love that Simon has two great friends looking after him but also keeping it real like after his confrontation with August.

This scene! The tension! The stakes are so high and you can feel it.

Simon is so visibly nervous about visiting Micke and Micke is so happy to have Simon visiting. Their small talk is awkward but they are trying to make it feel normal.

Micke asks about Sara and Linda but Simon changes subject almost immediately. Simon is uncomfortable but still wants Mickes approval and probably more than that.

We see the smile when Micke corrects himself qnd says "a boy then". Simon being gay is not an issue at all. It's Mickes substance abuse that's the problem. Still Simon smiles because Micke doesn't care and it means a lot to him. It just breaks my heart that Simon has to deal with this.

I think Micke loves his kids and wants to be better but he just won't do what it takes so instead he's doing more and more harm. I look forward to see how it goes in season 2 but I also know I'll be heart broken by it. Simon doesn't need that stress in his life.

[addictedtostorytelling]

I'm rewatching some of my fave gsr scenes and what are your thoughts about sara finding grissom's unsent mail? Do you think that was intentional? If it was, why do you think he left it there to be found? Seems like their relationship has been better anyway since he came back from sabbatical. Thanks! Looking forward to your unique gsr insights once again. ❤️

hi, anon!

this may be an unpopular opinion, but i don't actually think grissom means for sara to find the letter.

personally, i think that if he intended for her to read it, he would give it to her directly, not tuck it away somewhere where she may or may not ever actually happen to find it.

to my mind, by the events of episode 07x22 “leapin’ lizards,” he has long since decided that the letter is an inadequate expression of his love for her and that he is better off showing her how he feels with gestures (rather than borrowing the words of the bard).

that so, i don’t think he really ever has any desire for her to read the letter—hence why he is using it as a bookmark.

as i talk about here:

while some fans believe that grissom and sara have no contact with each other for the entire five weeks that grissom is in massachusetts, i believe that they actually do—it's just that their communication during this time is strained, as grissom realizes that he hurt sara's feelings by leaving her behind and feels awkward but doesn't know what to do to help the situation from so far away, while meanwhile sara wonders if maybe grissom isn't as invested in their relationship as she is but is too afraid to ask him where his feelings in reality lie, particularly given the (both physical and relational) distance between them atm.

rather than not talking altogether, i believe they spend this period of separation languishing, having the kind of stilted phone calls where they discuss everything BUT their real feelings, sending occasional fumbling emails that skirt around the big issues, and both generally fretting about where they ultimately stand with each other but being too scared to out-and-out ask the other person for a clue...

[the whole time, grissom is] worrying that he’s fucked things up by making the decision to leave without considering the personal implications of him doing so. he can sense that sara is upset but he doesn’t know how to really broach the subject or do anything to fix the problem remotely—and especially not when she seems so thoroughly committed to withholding her true feelings from him, regardless of anything he might say or do.

on her side of things, sara is worried about the meaning of everything. grissom left, and she doesn’t know what his leaving indicates, in terms of their relationship. he seldom voices his feelings, and so she’s not sure what they are. she’s feeling the strain of keeping their shared life a secret more strongly than ever, but at the same time she doesn’t dare to complain because she doesn’t want to upset their delicate balance. so as not to do anything to spook him, she elects to suffer in silence, holding her breath as she waits for some kind of confirmation that he loves her in the same bone-deep, forever kind of way that she does him.

the longer grissom is away, the more desperately he wants to bridge the gap between them and just out and tell sara how he really feels.

however, when push comes to shove, he finds that words fail to convey the enormity of his feelings for her—hence the reason why he ultimately does not send the love letter he writes to her in episode 07x14 "meet market," deciding instead that maybe the best option for him is just to try to show her how he feels with his actions (which have always felt like a surer thing to him than words anyhow) once he gets home.

of course, the irony of grissom deciding that the letter isn’t good enough for sara is that when she finds and reads it on the sly, it is basically the exact kind of reassurance she was looking for, with regards to his feelings.

i mean, just look at her face while she reads: that girl is enchanted by the sheer romance of it all!

while i don’t think he would ultimately be upset, were he to find out that sara does eventually read the letter, i also don’t believe it’s something he actively seeks to have happen, either.

to his mind, there are better, more evocative ways for him to show her that he loves her—and especially now that he’s back from sabbatical.

that’s my take.

ymmv, though!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[bukguhope]

CLICHÉ | jjk 02

summary:

“how cliché”

“just pretend you owe me”

pretending to date never ended badly right? especially when there’s a dark secret involved

themes: jungkook x f.reader, enemies to lovers, childhood friends, mature

prev | next 

“what- i don’t understand”

"i wasn't gonna ask while surrounded by people at the bar was i? and then hoseok came along. don't think i've just forgiven and forgotten y/n" you were completely left speechless. this was five years ago he was taking about and he's acting like it happened yesterday. surely he's still not upset? but remembering what you did, it shouldn’t surprise you he hasn’t.

"iam sorry if-"

"you're sorry? really? because the last i remember-" he was cut off by hoseok re joining the table.

"what did i miss?"

"just reminiscing about old times" jungkook states leaning back into the booth, eyes glued to you as he took a sip of his drink

"well i apologise for messing up this reunion but it's sara, she's gone too hard too fast and now her friends are saying she needs picking up so i have to leave" hoseok announces before turning to you "so ill have to take you home, sorry i know i was meant to be your designated friend tonight but the drunk girlfriend calls" yes hoseok was supposed to be caring for you tonight, you wanting to drink until you couldn't see and him being your ride. but you couldn't complain, he was just being a good boyfriend. before you could say anything, jungkook begins to speak.

"oh i'll take her home. be more then happy to" he smirks looking over at you. and hoseok didn't even give you time to say anything before replying

"oh brilliant thanks bye, was nice seeing you again" hoseok claims before rushing out the club. you sigh, defeated and annoyed you weren't even asked your opinion in the matter. you couldn't even utter a word and although you were in a club, it felt like silence engulfed you. you thought this would be a cute and fun coincidence, yeah you were wrong.

"y/n, i don't want to be spiteful about the past. but you hurt me. you were one of my only friends all those years and when you-" you cut him off, not wanting to hear back what you already knew

"i know, and to see you again after all this time it must be karma. iam sorry for everything." jungkook still seemed on edge though, visibly angry. but what he said next, you weren't expecting.

"maybe you could help me then? do me a favour" your eyebrow raises at this, instantly curious as to where he was going. your silence was indication enough for him to continue speaking. "pretend to be my girlfriend"

"ha!" you let out a laughed before noticing he wasn't laughing, nor smiling."you're having me on"

"no iam really not. look my ex just ended things with me. out of nowhere too. i know that she still likes me i just need a way to prove it and i've tried everything else"

"how cliché" you simply respond, crossing your arms over your chest. jungkook looks genuinely embarrassed but he knew it was his last chance. he didn't know many other women and if he did his ex knew them and would never date him or pretend to.

"just pretend, you owe me" he whined and that actually made you chuckle. he was always whiny when it came to getting his way. but he just couldn't be serious. the more you thought of it the more ridiculous it seemed.

"you realise that we're not in a movie correct?"

"y/n" he deadpans and after a quick glance at his phone  asks "will you come to mine and we can discuss this like adults? i only live five minutes away" you genuinely have to try and stop the laughter that's trying to make it's way out

"talk like adults? about a fake relationship? with someone you haven't seen in five years? to make your ex jealous?" the back to back questions roll off your tongue and jungkook knows you're right, deep down. but meeting you again he realised that you're the only women he knows that his ex wouldn't suspect of playing up to a ruse. and he needs her back. he loved her after all

"please?" is his only reply to which you looked at his softened puppy eyes. even after all these years they still have this amazing effect on you. he could ask for anything with those eyes and you'd give in. but even though you seriously couldn't believe he was asking this of you, you couldn't help but just melt in presence.

"ok fine, seems as my nights ruined anyway. let's go talk about it"

the ride to his house was awkward, despite its short length. complete silence, not even any music. you couldn't help but think how close you lived from jungkook, for all these years once once you arrived. you notice it's a decent sized apartment. nothing extravagant but definitely nice. you follow him up, still in complete silence. once inside you're not too sure what to do as the door closes behind you.

"i don't bite y/n, let me take you coat" he comes up behind you and gently raised his hands to your shoulders, taking off your jacket and you don't realise you're holding your breath as he glides it down your arms leaving you in your club attire, a simple black dress. he places the garment on a rack and does the same for his. the apartment is very clean and modern you note as you slip your heels off. "take a seat on the couch" he orders and you do as he says, him joining you not long after. "would you like a drink?" he asks , sitting quite close to you. you shake you head no in response. "so, i know this whole situation is childish but it's the only option i have left" he starts

"is moving on not an option?" you realise how blunt you were quickly apologising "sorry that was-" but you're cut off

"no you're right. it's just, she was my first ever girlfriend. i know twenty two and only one girlfriend. i don't want to be this pathetic but i can't help the way i feel" you felt bad. the way he was talking you could tell he was heartbroken

"so how long has it been, since the break up?"

"eight days" he states and your eyes widen a little. that's very soon, of course he'd still be so upset

"iam sorry" you mutter, unsure on what to say. he chuckles lightly but you can tell he wasn't amused

"don't be. i know it's insane to even ask this. let alone ask someone i haven't seen in so long" you nod, he was definitely correct.

"i have missed you" you utter quietly and he smirks before placing an arm on your shoulder. the coldness of his palm gives you goosebumps. you put it down to the temperature of his hand doing that to you and not the action itself.

"you know what? i've missed you too"

“so you'll do me this favour? seems as you were bitch to me" he asks and i scoff at his sudden rudeness. our small nice moment disappearing. how dare he call me that, it wasn't entirely my fault our friendship ended

[seriesxwriting]

I’m gonna end up in prison anyway.

JJ maybank x you! <3

JJ is upset about jhon B being in prison and takes it out on you… but JJ soon realises he’s in the wrong and apologises confessing his love for you at the same time <3.

Warnings- kissing and swearing. I think that’s it.

Also just wanna say that I know all my writing has been outer banks characters but more characters are coming soon I promise. I’m just obsessed with this show at the moment :)

“JJ your an idiot!” I yelled at him once he’d climbed in to the speeding car explaining what he had tried to do. “well I’m going to end up in jail anyway so who fucking cares” JJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair avoiding eye contact with me sitting tight in the seat next to him.

“I fucking care JJ” I mimicked him in a calmer tone.

He looked at me still panting from the run “you alright?” Pope eyed his best in the mirror from the front seat. “Just a shit day” he inhaled and exhaled loudly turning his whole body away from me and staring out the window.

What the fuck was he thinking trying to bust jhon B out with that plan! We needed to prove his innocents not go on the run again.

Ki drove us back to where we were staying in silence. Her and pope went off in to the night talking about some random stuff, giggling some might say flirting. “y/n” he called out when I was walking away from the car minding my own business “what”.

JJ came around to my side climbing out of the white suit he was dressed in tying it around his torso.

“You still mad?”

“I’m not even mad JJ I’m -just worried” I stuttered trying to think of the right words so I would give him any clues to how I really felt about the boy.

“John B is in prison! I needed to do something It’s him you should be worried about” “I am! But I’m worried about you as well your acting like an idiot your not going to prison JJ so stop blaming all your shit on that, it’s not down to you we’re all doing everything we can to free him but your choices there down to you! So watch them”

“None of you are doing anything” he scoffed, I went closer to take his hand in mine. “why do you think your going to prison?” I whispered looking up at his beautiful eyes holding his hand in to my stomach.

“Because I am! Im going to end up in prison anyway so what’s the point” he shouted pulling away from me looking up at the sky with the roll of his eyes.

“well I’m not gonna let you!”

“You can’t do anything about it y/n were all fucked! ki just got kicked out of her parents house Pope hasn’t been home for days! My dad is a dick head- so is Sara’s and you, I don’t even know what your doing here you could go back home to you warm fluffy bed any time you wanted… John B is already in prison it’s just a matter of time before we’re ALL in there too” he shouted at me with tears in his eyes.

I wanted to hug him because he was in pain but he’d hurt me.

“FUCK YOU! I’m a pogue”

“are you? Do you want to be in prison with us” JJ asked me calmly with a hint of a smile.

I pushed him on the chest and he stumbled back a bit looking at my face knowing he’d hurt me.

“your upset …about John B I know, but you don’t have to be such an asshole! If you wanna fuck your life up and go prison be my guest JJ… but you won’t see the others in there, don’t say I didn’t try to help you because that’s all I’ve EVER tried to do” I shouted with a tear sliding out my dolled up eyes. Side looking him before turning my back with attitude and leaving JJ stood there. Alone.

I couldn’t believe I was actually in love with that ass, he’d never spoken to me like that how I knew he was just hurt.

But I wasn’t going to take that it’s not acceptable, no one should be spoke to like that and if he wanted me to forgive him he was gonna have to work for it. I went to sleep soon after that, on the beat up sofa with scrappy blankets feeling empty inside, though I didn’t get much sleep overall.

I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, playing back the conversation in my head overthinking it. finally getting to sleep around five am.

“Don’t tell me how to wax my bored!” Is what I woke up to.

My head was clanging from lack of sleep and the sun glaring down at me through the dusty window.

“Boys, SHUT UP” I sailed out to them, not being in the mood to be awake yet “sorry y/n! JJ is just being an idiot”

“what else is new?” I wondered to pope coming out into the straight heat blocking the sun with my hand.

Kiara and pope laugh at me while JJ stood there looking guilty underneath his sunglasses. His face showed that he regretted what happened last night but I really wasn’t interested at the moment. He’d pissed me off.

“Don’t you think he’s using to much wax?” Pope pointed at the bored in JJ’s hands.

“don’t tell me how to wax my bored! Jeez”

JJ lifted up his sparkling sunglasses up on to his head in anger at pope.

“I’m just saying…” “guys seriously stop it!” Kiara looked up giving them daggers clearly getting annoyed. “Remember when y/n suggested you shut up, listen to it!”

“wait shhh.. do you hear that?” JJ rotated his head and eyes away from me peering in to the distance of the road “is that…” I trailed off listening out. Jhon b swerved around the corner in his van with a huge smile on his face. The feeling in the air changed immediately.

“JHON B?!” Kiara jumped over the sofa throwing her magazine on the floor running towards him excitedly flopping in to his arms

The boys followed jumping in to a happy group hug I didn’t Wanna disturb. Though it did put a smile on my face.

“what the hell bro?” JJ slapped John B on the back with a beautiful smile fixed on his face. It was nice to see him genuinely smile.

“They let me go” he smiled shrugging while everyone took a step back.

“Come here” jhon B laughed putting his arms out to me, I’d stayed in the dorm frame the whole time just watching. I bounced over and we met in the middle hugging tightly. “Ugh it’s so good to have you back” I whispered softly

“but they just let you go?” Pope questioned confused.

“Sure did- charges were dropped, wheres Sarah?” He looked around and then at me.

“She didn’t come back last night” JJ sighed so I didn’t have to answer “she went to meet wheezie and didn’t come back” he explained again in more detail when John B looked at me for answers again.

Suddenly out the corner off our eyes we saw a speedboat heading to us, with topper and Sara. The confused ,but happy to be reunited, pogues all ran towards it but gently my wrist was grabbed. Stopping me from following.

“can I talk to you?” JJ asked with a sad soft face pointed to the floor,

“maybe if you actually look me in the eyes for once” I told him while folding my arms defensively so I’d get out of his grasp.

“I’m- sorry I’m so sorry y/n, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that you didn’t deserve to hear that, it came from a place of anger and worry and sadness it wasn’t meant for you”

“That’s what I said to you JJ, I also said I was here for you but you can’t push me away like that” I attacked him with guilt “I know that…” “but theres a reason” JJ fixed his top setting it straight and looked dead into my eye.

This time he took my hand…myy heart beat quickened as I grew more nervous thinking about all the possible things he could say.

“Uh… okay, I really like you..y/n” JJ confessed with a smirk.

“W-what?” My words didn’t know how to come out and my body insisted on making me look like an idiot. I forgot got how to control my body, my mouth was open in shock with What the boy had just said.

“me?”

“Yes, you” JJ’s laughed filled my ears flicking his blonde hair out his eyes . “I said all that’s shit to you yesterday because I know I’ll never be good enough for you… and that hurts so I fucked things up.. but I don’t wanna fuck this up”

“You didn’t fuck anything up, I like you too” I told him softly snaking my hands up to his face holding it so he was looking at me. It was all such a rush.

“but you need to work on your eye contact because you have such pretty eyes” I smiled against his soft lips before kissing him.

Our tongues entered each others mouths and my hand held on to his blonde hair for support. We both pulled away out of breath and burning with the excitement of young love. leaning out foreheads on each other’s.

“Fucking hell y/n, I’d thought out every possibility about how this would go but none of them where like that” he breathed quietly, giggling holding my waist and bringing me closer to his body.

“I promise I won’t ever shout at you again”

“I can deal with the shouting JJ ,it’s the part where you put your self down! That hurts me because I believe in you”.

He looked taken back, “no one- has ever spoke to me like you have” he whispered in realisation, “well then you better fucking listen to what I have to say huh” I raised my eye brow chewing on my bottom lip

JJ nodded his head grinning down before pulling me in to a hug.

“thank you” he whispered in my ear. “For what?” I looked at him funny “for not giving up on me” “no I like you too much” I shrugged looking at the floor to distract my smile.

“I promise I won’t ever give up on you” I told him seriously.

JJ beamed and leant in for another kiss warming my heart and securing me in his strong arms.

[ddarker-dreams]

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID THE TRUTH.

I admit that i enjoyed act 3 but it feels like really rushed i have so much complain with that.

The build up until act 2 was so good it give us so much premise but the final blow si meh. Sorry that i want to share thing long rant with you

1. Why the final talk is with yae, no offense to her but we need ei to explain not to mention she witness khaenriah downfall so she can give us more information, i feel like they do it for the plot armor so they can just keep dragging this

2. So many things that quite inconsistant, the shogun is show no mercy to anyone that even did a little thing outside what she think its right, how come she can still have a talk with signora, when sara is falling like that, and also there is no clarification about sara right now.

The traveler was so done at first they refuse to help thoma and ayaka at the beginning. But they seem so happy and forget everything how come they are not RAGE ( okay maybe this is to bias and personal) when this nation provide nothing about our siblings information and also why they are not mention anything about their problem in ei stroy quest. Its nonsense! She is right in front of youu, ask about your siblings, ask about khaenriah, ask about ukmown god!!. How come they can just forget like that. Also mihoyo really waste the potential about twin things i thing ei will give us so much help bcs of the sympathy that we both rn lost our twin but noooo.

3. Kokomi seem lost some brain cell, she make a very succesfull grand intro but she become meh in act 3, how come a great strategist like her let the sus sponsorship slip just bcs they are desperate, not to mention her screen time is really small and her role seem so unsignificant and it feels lile she is a plain npc.

4. The awesome world quest that we have done doesnt get any mention at all! Inazuma owe us so much with cleansing sakura, thunder sakura, tatarigami, obarashi quest. It has so much potential that yae or ei or anyone else aknowledge what traveler has been done but nooo.

cracks knuckles... i suppose it's time for my promised dissertation. interestingly enough, you touched on a lot of the main issues i had with chapter III.

i think that if i had to pin the main issue, it's a lack of overall cohesiveness? we were jumping all over the place without the chance to ever flesh things out. inazuma is a smaller cast, but i feel like we didn't get to see any of them shine. since i'm most interested in the genshin characters, i'll break down my problems by going over everyone and their (lack) of impact on the story.

was ayaka not questioned or placed under suspicion for being close to thoma before his escape? i wanted to see her broken up over her duties as they relate to the yashiro commission, paired with having someone she genuinely cares about in danger. it would've been an interesting struggle if she was forced to choose one or the other. instead she just kinda took a back seat.

speaking of thoma, i don't even have anything to say, because he just... was there? for .0001 seconds. said "lol this sucks ig" and that's about it. i know we're going to get a story for him in the future since he's a 5* but i'm not getting my hopes up 😭 then in the raiden shogun's character story, man is peachy keen! be upset with the raiden shogun! have some inner conflict! even if it's just using loaded language because he's under surveillance for going against the raiden shogun, that'd be so cool. saying something like,

"Traveler, what's with that expression? Oh please, there's nothing to worry about. We're under the Statue of the Omnipresent God's protection. Nothing bad has ever happened here." *wink*

i also don't know what to say about gorou. he was... there....... i think. what is he fighting for? what are the stakes for him? what makes him place so much trust into kokomi? i'm out of things to say about him because i don't remember anything he did or said.

kokomi... oh kokomi... i was so hyped. so excited. i thought that maybe we could see a foil to the raiden shogun. that she'd have a moment where she's forced to realize, just like her opponent, sacrifices must be made that will hurt people who will never understand why she made them. or maybe something to show her military prowess. but instead she just accepts a mysterious patron's help (?), sees her people aging like the grateful dead from JJBA, and goes oh well. that sucks. what can ya do. oh bye traveler i guess, good luck with that. ????????????? HUH... similar case to thoma where she's gonna get a character story but like. she won't be the leader of the resistance anymore. that was her whole shtick. they took her shtick away. also she forced me to interact with more NPCs whose names i've already forgotten so i'm tilted about that still.

KUJOU SARA... AN INJUSTICE. A DISGRACE. a slap to my woman loving face. the build up was there. yae miko's comments about sara probably knowing the tenryou commission is involved in shady dealings, but is choosing not to think about it. sara being forced to confront reality and challenge her adopted father with the truth. being able to blaze a new path for herself in the process. when she started running to the raiden shogun i was ultra hyped up. sara, a devotee to the shogun for so long, was about to see her god interacting with the same people who led inazuma to this awful state. how would she react? would she stay ignorant, like yae miko so coyly said, choosing to look away in favor of following her god's footsteps? or would she be forced to recognize the raiden shogun isn't as divine as she once thought, and challenge her belief system?

we open the door to see the raiden shogun. the loading screen ensues. the camera pans to the ominous room, clouded in darkness, hinting at the ominous confrontation that is to come. the music takes a serious timbre. and then...

well fuck that potential character arc i guess. (we still don't know what sara made of any of this since she poofed out of existence from the story at this point)

kazuha also was handed a similar treatment. we've been with him for a while longer now. he is our introduction into inazuma, the one who first gets us emotionally involved by regaling us with the bittersweet tale of friendship that led him to becoming a wanted criminal. a kind soul who loves nature yet was dealt a cruel hand by fate, forced to watch his home nation turn into a hostile place, where his dear friend ultimately perished as a result. we get the scene with his friend's vision lighting back up. he parries a block from the raiden shogun, in the same area where his friend was killed by her. the parallels. the drama. except this time, he wasn't too late. he protected the traveler where he "failed" to protect his friend in the past. did he feel redemption at this? or was it a bittersweet reminder of what could've been?

WELL i guess we'll never know because we didn't get to talk to him again 😭 idk who got a bait and switch worse, him or sara. jesus christ mihoyo.

then we have signora. why is the raiden shogun talking to her? does she know about the gnosis being taken, and if she doesn't, what was her plan to get it from the archon? what does she think about scaramouche? and oh, okay, we're fighting here now. good fight + god tier music. pog pog. okay, now we've beaten her up, and raiden shogun wyd— wait no not signora her lore is still on CUPS not YET raiden shogun and— ah she's dead. okay. non nerds who didn't read artifact lore are going to know nothing about her. signora has such an interesting story, and yet... well. ok.

then we get raiden shogun redemption (?) arc. i was hype for this as well, though at that point, idk why i bothered being hype. i knew they were gonna do a cute power of friendship something or another, and i'm good with that, so long as it's executed well. what i was envisioning was like seven different buffs to correspond with the seven different visions, the dreams of those whose ambitions were stolen serving as the spear to penetrate the raiden shogun's heart of stone. maybe a hydro vision giving us extra healing for a time, with the voice acting over it being like,

"Even if the rest of the world forgets us, let our will carry you through this one final time. Succeed where we couldn't, Traveler."

so on and so forth.

but instead we got— you get the idea at this point. why bother spelling it out anymore.

at that point i was surprised the raiden shogun didn't go "oopsie woopsie!! we made a fucky wucky!!!" because that was the vibe i was getting. i love ei, don't get me wrong, but i wanted to see her challenged with what she had done to inazuma in the past year. maybe meeting NPC #2345259 who lost her sister to the vision decree or something, reminding ei of the love she held for her sister... being forced to come to terms with the extent of what she's done in pursuit of eternity.

anyway. please for the love of god mihoyo hire better writers for the main story. that is all i ask. thank you.