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jiminrings · 3 years

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what happened to mc after that?? JUNGKOOK I WILL WHOOP YO FUCKING ASS

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

the aftermath of stem koo breaking senior!y/n's heart

"do you need anything from us?"

yoongi asks you for the fifth time in the twenty minutes you've been home, heart breaking from the inside out when you haven't moved a single inch

he is begging that the thing you need from him and jin is to go beat j*ngkook up

HE CAN'T EVEN SAY HIS NAME WITHOUT BEING ANGRY AT HIM!!!!!!!

anything. anything to atleast make you sleep in peace tonight.

or them honestly,, either way

your body's facing the backrest of the couch and maybe that's for the better, because that way, seokjin won't feel the need to cry looking at the coldest person he's known to be openly vulnerable

you're still wearing your jersey!!! your stained dirty jersey that you've been in for the past three hours and the reason that it's still wet was that you've been using it to wipe your tears all the way to the dorm

"no. i'll be alright."

you mumble for the fifth time out of the five times you've been asked, and yoongi just has to grapple at his fist because he knows that being frustrated wouldn't help

you are the fURTHEST thing from okay

to be honest, it was only a miracle that you told the two of them what happened in the first place

it was in between sobs that you asked them why they were friends with you and they couldn't be anymore dumbfounded

it was in between violent tears that you mentioned hyeji that seokjin looked for a box of tissues because you've been intentionally rubbing your eyes raw

it was in between heaving that you said that no one wants to go the extra mile for me that yoongi started holding your cheeks and trying to get you to breathe with him in his panic too

it was in between hiccups that you uttered that no one wants to walk me home and that's when both of yoongi's and seokjin's throats started tightening, the dots hazy yet aligning nonetheless

it was in silence when you told that jungkook said that no one likes me, and that's when out of the three of you in the room – you're the one who's the calmest.

"okay. i'll bring you a blanket."

yoongi leaves it at that, standing from his spot on the floor to walk over to the kitchen where the blankets cLEARLY aren't there

no one really prepared yoongs for this

no one really is

there isn't a manual on how to act when the dearest friend that you have is crying their guts out for the first time

he can't explain his close bond with you and he's always seen you as his platonic girlfriend!!! his platonic girlfriend who has a bond with him that's closer than a sister's, more understanding than a mother's, and the utter admiration more than a friend's

you r literally yoongi's (platonic) soulmate and he would die on that hill

he would rather subject himself to torture via having to stay in a freshman's dorm equipped with the de facto led strip lights everyday!!! every single day, than to see you like this :(((

"what do you have on the bitch?" yoongi doesn't spare his words when he sits on the kitchen stool next to jin's figure

the dude is sTANDING and that means business

jin doesn't feel a single ounce of regret fetching his work laptop and scrolling through the files and tabs he has on every single student on campus, eyes only looking for one lee hyeji that's contributed to your anguish rn

jungkook is atleast 3/4 in this equation and seokjin will get to him of course

no one makes his emotional support best friend cry and nOT pay the consequences for it!!!!

in another life, vincenzo cassano's character is based on seokjin and the events in his life that definitely happened >:(

"she's daddy's money. can't fucking believe that sHE'S representing the school," he sighs in genuine annoyance, but not loud enough to pique your attention as he turns the screen so yoongi could clearly see her headshots, "must be a diversity hire. every university needs a fucking bimbo, apparently."

you see,,, yoongi would've SNORTED at that but now is not the time!!! he is still planning discreet retribution to avenge you!!!!

jin lets yoongi look at hyeji's entire file, wanting to get even the smallest bits even if the information he's taking in is against his will

he'll immediately delete whatever he learns about her right after it's served its purpose

"just messaged the faculty groupchat," seokjin himself didn't imagine the words coming out from his lips determinedly, but he knows that he's willing to do anything for the sake of this, "been crushing on jeon ever since the start of last semester. philosophy professor thinks it's because he once saw jungkook lending her a pen when they were in the topic of soulmates."

jesus christ

now THAT'S just annoying ://

this

whatever this is

seokjin and yoongi don't know what they're digging all this information for

they don't know what this unspoken plan is for, or if they even have a plan in the first place

if jin were to tell the faculty gc about this???

absolute mayhem

but he knows for a fact that they'd hate star student jungkook easily within a tap of a finger

the philosophy prof would lose all sense of rationality and reasoning and INSTANTLY point to jungkook as an asshole!!! no questions asked!!!! no elaborations!!!!

"i could get jeon eliminated from all the academic listings he's in."

jin pipes in at the silence that he and yoongi share, both listless in this situation that they never expected to encounter with you

"i could always spread a rumor and make him unlikeable."

yoongi toys with the rings that he wears, a heavy exhale tearing away from him

they could think of a thousand other ways to get back at jungkook!!! they literally can

seokjin knows a contract guy who leaves shredded paper with his contract's initials written on red ink (for a base fee of three dollars, he can switch up the ink for you!!!) right next to their side on the bed

yoongi knows a guy whose modus operandi is to discreetly follow people, have subliminals playing in the background (for an extra fee of ten dollars, he'll use wireless bass-boosted speakers), and continue doing so until the desired message is achieved!!!!

none of the people they have connections to could employ the same amount of pain he's caused on you

there's literally nothing that could hit home with jungkook besides you.

but there's no way to do that and even in your state of anger and sadness tHEN utter vulnerability, you can't even really think of hurting jungkook in the way he did

because you know and yoongi knows and seokjin knows and everyone knows that you aren't the type to wish ill

you admit that sometimes you're unavailable but you don't want that to be an asshole-reason to make everyone else around you suffer in the same way you do

the people around you aren't your shock absorbers!!!! that's why you hang out a teddy bear on your doorknob when you're mad so that neither yoongi or jin would have the possibility to be caught in your rage

that's why you call for a break when your soccer team is out of their game and make everyone drink their electrolytes before they speak to you!!!!

that's why you have the old heart of your even older build-a-bear stuffie in your pocket, one of the only reminders that your childhood even happened, one that you'd squeeze between your fingers in any remotely anxious instances that you find yourself in

jungkook's words hit home and it put you into a spiral if you even had one in the first place

your parents divorced when you were young and it's just that,,, no one from the two of them wanted you because you were the reminder of the other parent

you're a place marker for when a commitment started and ended and god did it make you grow up quickly

your aunt raised you!!!! she's an angel and she's the maternal figure in your life that you'd always be grateful for

you love her all the same and as much as you didn't wanna relate yourself to your parents in the same way that they don't, the feelings of being unliked hit you ever so often

lol it's quite a dashing mindset you have but you can't see any other interpretation you should employ

you leave before they could leave you.

it's not really as dramatic as it sounds

BUT IT COULD BE

there's always obligatory groupchats for projects and you're the first one to leave it instead of awkwardly waiting out for the conversation to dwindle and then leave one by one

when you and yoongi argue, you leave before he attempts to get the last word in

when jin is about to ask if you want to split the bill, you're already putting more than half of your share on the table

it's a nagging feeling of not wanting be unwanted in every situation you're in, but you aren't all that sure of wHAT you'd do to be liked

the only thing you could think of are lunchboxes, and even that gets taken away from you.

does no one really like you??

you're shifting in your position before you know it and the lone sound makes jin and yoongs come to your side immediately, looking at you in concern

you're looking up and you could just fEEL your eyes are puffy and even the light's hurting them

"i need to sleep."

"o-oh! m'kay, sure. i'll carry you to bed, let's go," seokjin wastes no time in responding, about to hook his arms underneath you when you repeat yourself again

you only chuckle but it's the driest and most painful they've ever heard, wincing when they can hear how breathless it was

"no. i mean i need to sleep."

jin blinks once

yoongi blinks twice

right

they get it now

you don't want to sleep, and you really can't, but you need it

"i'll get it!!" jin volunteers to grab what you need, leaving yoongi with you

oh god you could fEEL that he's going to cry

what a big baby ://

seokjin comes bearing the joint :D

he's about to light it for you because he knows that three specific short hits would lull you to slumber then knock you out cold for like a day lmao

he minored in chemistry actually but he cAN'T explain shit on why that's your body's reaction

you're all-good for literally anything besides three short hits lmao

yoongi was about to scold jin because he lights it and tHEN he's the one who takes the first drag, but there's an assuring wave of his hand

how romantic

jin just blew you a heart

they can't get anything from you besides the slight crinkling from your eyes but they don't mind at all — your eyes are atleast one degree less sad

you take your turn and even pass it to yoongi but he rEFUSES,,,,, not the least bit dejected that he decided not to because he wants to watch over you instead and not see every inanimate object with cartoon eyes on them while watching over you

"bake her a cookie if in case she suddenly gets hungry in the middle of her sleep. sneak a carrot in it or something," jin reminds yoongi and he's sERIOUS about the recipe, holding you in tow as he makes the way to your room

yoongi's about to break out the bowls, freezing in his steps when he hears the doorbell frantically ring

oh god

the ONE time that they didn't plug the door with a wet towel and now it's probably the hall manager outside about to do an inspection

that is not..... the hall monitor

that is a fucking asshole

jungkook's been pacing on his heels, his knocking loud enough to wake up the entire hallway at this point

he's SWEATING and he's not even wearing his hoodie

the door finally opens and the words start tumbling out of his mouth

"good evening. i-i wanna explain myself and-..."

that is not,,,,, you

it's his senior that he's disrespected probably too many times

yoongi leans to the door, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that the junior's never seen before

"you ever had a sandwich before, jungkook?"

"w-what?"

the younger boy stammers, his eyes following yoongi's actions of looking behind him out of worry and then going outside to join him by closing the door softly without noise

yoongi only snorts, not even sure if he's up for conversation

"hyeji's never packed you a sandwich before?"

jungkook pales at the mention, mouth drying when he sees yoongi bring up the soft smile that doesn't comfort him at all

"the one that's all knuckle?"

#WHAT DO WE THINK BESTIES :D WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT #stem koo #jungkook imagine #jungkook imagines #jungkook oneshot #jungkook oneshots #jungkook drabbles #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook au #jungkook angst #jungkook angst imagine

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clonesupport · 2 years

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Mateo “Joy” Harlowe

it’s here. this is a working idea of my far cry 5 oc👀 i used this picrew! this is very work in progress so bear with me for her story will definitely probably change a lot but this is a starting idea lol

four stages of her transitioning from her hero deputy self into a perhaps slightly brainwashed/obsessively in love with a cultist insane woman with a gun^^

Matty is a little crazy but she’s loyal, just make sure she’s on your side or else god knows what kind of heartless cruelty she could do to you.

she’s always been a bit eccentric though learning to keep it at bay when she became a deputy, staying reserved for duty and to be more “normal” for the job. after the initial unsuccessful attempt to capture Joseph Seed, the scare of the peggie’s drove her to be determined to fight them off for the people, to do her deputy duties. but with every encounter between her and the cultist leaders, the more she learned about them. and each time she was brought to John, the more she watched him as did he watch her. a part of him could see her buried urges and he wanted to bring it out of her if it was the last thing he’d do. she always fought the urges, the triggers, but John just simply knew how to tear down her walls. he could see he’d planted that virus in her head, he’d corrupt her, slowly but sure, eventually she will be too weak to fight back.

with time and to her own horror she started to grow to like John, feelings that’s probably, definitely, shouldn’t be felt for a cultist let alone some sadistic psychopath. but he was kind with her, his voice lulled her, and she had to admit she found him attractive. she cursed herself every time she was captured by the peggie’s and brought to john, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to fight whatever he’d slip into her mind. part of her still fought against John and his family, though another part had grown to get comfortable with him. perhaps her own teasing smart mouth got her into this whole mess, antagonizing him with her flirtatious nature. her control on her own mind was becoming loose, saying whatever she pleases without caring much for consequence. John had begun to play along with her flirtatious banter, perhaps only making her worse than she already was. perhaps she could fool herself into believing he had feelings for her too. no, why would she ever think that. John had begun to dig his hooks deep into her and she almost didn’t want to fight it. she didn’t find any urgent need to unhook these enchanting hooks of his.

she began to like where she was she was with John, his touch began to feel warm, welcoming. his embrace started to comfort her, care for her. his eyes bewitched her, his voice like a sweet venom she couldn’t with drawl from. with more time spent with John she could feel as though the deputy in her was dissipating, and the joy in her thriving. Joy. that’s what he called her, for reasons unknown to her, but she liked it. his Joy. that’s all she wanted to be. she started to lose sight of the resistance. thinking fighting all of this cult stuff would be too much of a nuisance, she’d much rather surrender and see what happens. maybe they’d let her go, see that she means no harm and has no use for them. but deep down she knew that wouldn’t happen, blinded by this false sense of safety with John. or was it real? maybe it was real.

she was happy, joyful. Joy was her new name, that’s what they all called her for the deputy was forgotten, she didn’t need her anymore. no more weaknesses, no more false hope, false reality. this was reality, reality with John, with his family. she’d do everything she could to make him happy, to make him and his followers feel her joy. John had proved to her that the feelings were mutual, many hours spent together, feeling together. from then on she would ride or die with John, do anything he asked all the while he’d keep her safe, doing everything in his power to keep her by his side. there never was an enemy, only allies, only a lover. she doesn’t hate the cultists, she doesn’t hate the resistance, she simply loves John. he was all she needed, and he needed only her. right? she let John do anything to her, for her, she even let him carve her sin into her skin.

Her sin? Lust.

#who knows if pushed far enough she could almost be a yandere👀#almost #she’s practically johns personal assassin who is payed in sex if you think about it👀#power villain couple vibes #partners in literal crime #shes kinda like my little jinx lol #think crazy bitch who’s in love with someone and will do anything for them #so like harley quinn lmfao #her aesthetic is grungy and kinda like taking megan fox from jennifer’s body yenno?#fc5 #far cry 5 #deputy oc #turned cultist lol #joy #mateo harlowe #matty harlowe #mateo joy harlowe

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hazelcephalopod · 3 years

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The Eye of the World Ch 17-18

Disclaimer: this is my first read thru but I’ve watched the first 4 episodes of the show and been spoiled on some things. So… I’m going to lean into that. Enjoy figuring out what I know and what I think in know and what I don’t. Also s/x I add commentary when I edit.

Spoilers for the first book under the cut.

Immediate impression: The group must flee and is pursued as tensions escalate.

Ch 17

That is so many different songs and stories

Dancing!

Strange scared man staring and being stared at!

If it isn’t the consequences of your actions Rand? You are too noticeable to do that shit even if it was fun to read

Oh noooo. That’s bad

Oh that is good onamonapia -the sound description thing, not checking the spelling g’luck. about heard that, and I do no like it

Yup. Time to go. Break down a gate if you have too

Sure that’s the reason Thom.

And yea swords only useful if you can use it

I hope you’re just trying to be nice sir b/c you need to prepare for a storm (I later learn he probably was not)

Minor thing, my humble opinion. I get the sense from the show maybe that Two Rivers folks use Eyeless and elsewhere Fade is used. It’s a reversal that makes sense, Eyeless sounds more like a folk scary story than Fade -to me. Fade sounds like a name trying to distance itself from the terror the creature inspires

Yes you should be. You are such a little shit s/x Rand. I still like you but truly you can be such a shit, glad you acknowledge it s/x tho. That’s a good sign b/c at least you are a teenager or basically a teenager

Hey… no. She wanted to come. She was given ample warning. She’s her own person who can make decisions.

Oh compassion. Genuinely glad to see it

‘Absolutely rancid vibes’ -Rand on that stable hand Mutch (probably)

Really totally abandoned?

Are the gates open to leave then or? …no. No they aren’t.

Well actually “No one to come in except in daylight.” Sounds like they can leave to me! Pretty sure Moiraine is about to argue that (I shortly learn I was right)

Sure those are wolves

Ah yes money the universal persuasive power

Ohhh they say that in the show! The bs about Whitecloaks domain over everywhere’s in the light! This time it’s night tho.

“Absolutely rancid vibes.” -me on the Whitecloaks every time we’ve seen them

‘Insufferable fools.’ -Lan, on the Whitecloaks (probably)

Tbh I doubt he would recognize much to do with the Dark One

See shadows and gorplins is what you lot can ‘see’

Also telling a Warder *you* are the one so good at seeing evil. That’s hilarious. More so because they don’t know he’s a Warder

“The Children of Light smell the evil.” -some Whitecloak. What a line, a ridiculous line. Lol

Followed by “We smell it, and root it out. Wherever it is find.” (These are cartoon villains. I love it)

I’d be shocked if you can find your own ass

That guy? Bornhold?

Ah good old Fear spell

Yea Occams Razor. Poor inn-keep dude. They just wiped him like a murder hobo dnd party -well his inn at least

That’s pretty cold I have to say. Understandable but cold. (Still I Stan)

Well really it’s because the Dark One is just the biggest prick but sure blame the children

Just all around a bad situation. It’s not like she didn’t warn him.

“He fell asleep wondering if the roots digging into his ribs would make him dream.” -Rand, the incomfortable campsite after fleeing Baerlon

Mmm what secrets do you have Warder?

Ch 18

The little picture for this chapter is great I can’t decide it it’s corny or kinda metal or somehow both

Huh. That’s a lot of wilderness.

“…last Lord of the Seven Towers.” -Moiraine on Lan. What does that mean?!

Huh. Trap then? That’s a good tactic

500?! How… no one has noticed that?

A place Trolloc’s won’t go. Hmm interesting.

Yea Thom I think that’s clear

The plants trying to bind and or keep Rand that there is maybe something?

Rand is often l sure of himself. He’s also often wrong

Well shit Lan actually killed a Fade! And it’s entire fist of Trollocs. I mean apparently it technically won’t be dead for a while but still

Earthquake? Did she just cause an earthquake. Because that’s awesome.

Why Fades not affected by earth-ripple? Oh no.

Or their horses???

Wall of fire!

Guess that took about everything she had then

Well Moiraine is fucking awesome.

Well magic and adrenaline = heat (s/x)

So various states of shock all around

Hey that’s a good point Egwene. I’m not sure I remember those words from before

That’s weird.

You what now Egwene?

Well that feels just a bit concerning right now. Why would Mat of all people know that? Old blood just… is spice melange?

Time for pass without a trace! (Yes I’m going to keep making dnd references)

There’s that tingle again…

Ok but everyone is shivering this time it seems

Spellfocus. Got it

Yea broken branches are easier to track

Aridhol…Shadar Logoth. And Mat asks for its latter name twice

#many thoughts on twot teotw #< block or filter to stop seeing these posts #the wheel of time #wheel of time #wot #the eye of the world #eye of the world #twot book #twot book spoilers #eotw spoilers

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red-hood-redemption · 3 years

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SO I know I’m like, super late to the party, but I finally got my hands on Robin 2021 and there is literally no one for me to talk to about it so now I’m just screaming my thoughts into the void ✌

First off, before i even bought the first two issues, I read through a lot of other people’s opinions on it to kinda get an idea of where it was going characterization-wise for Damian, and because of all the mixed reactions, I figured I should just read it myself and find out. Now I am the FURTHEST thing from a comic book authority, so like, this is truly just an opinion piece but if it convinces anyone to give the run a chance, then yay!!! Honestly, I’m really glad I gave it a shot because I’m genuinely hooked! I’m actually excited about this series (and it scares me lol)!!!

I'm gonna separate my thoughts into two sections: characters, and story, mainly for my own ease, but also if anyone cares more about one thing or the other it's easier to distinguish. But, the line is a little blurry so if I end up getting a little too much into the characterization in the story section, just bear with me lmao. OH and I'm going to try and keep this as un-spoilery as possible but we'll just have to see. SOOOOOOOO

Characters

I think it goes without saying that Melnikov's art is absolutely gorgeous, and really does show how much Damian has grown up. It makes me want to sob its so beautiful, everyone is so pretty, even the guy that looks like a washed up, high as fuck Tony Stark lmao. But moving on to the actual characters,

Rose Wilson

I honestly don't know too much about Rose, I haven't read enough about her to say anything about her characterization and how it compares to her other appearances, or whether or not she is OOC, but so far, I'm enjoying her taking up the "big sis" role, like, immediately lmao.

I don't know how much I trust her yet, but I definitely get the vibe that even if she does betray Dami in any way, she's probably gonna stick her neck out for Dami again and he's probably gonna do the same.

I'm really intrigued about her motivations for being here. Obviously, Respawn has something to do with it, but I want to know what's up with that. I've seen a lot of theories and I'm so excited. Also side note, that Black Swan chick is hot, and I can't wait to see more of her in action!!!

I feel like Ravager knows a WHOLE lot more than Dami does about the interesting things going on on the island, mainly because she's been doing a lot more sitting and waiting than he has as of yet, but I'm hoping to see more of the two of them doing detective-y sleuthing together. We love a mysteryyyy

Flatline

Okay but real talk, why does she look like a character straight out of Monster High

Honestly tho, I dig it. It's cute! She's cute! She isn't annoying (yet) but I don't know if I care too much about her other than she would make a cute friend for Dami.

I think the problem with DC is that they know people LOVE Harley Quinn and they try so hard to make characters just like her but it always falls short, so honestly I am a little wary of her character development in this run, but I'm willing to give her a shot since her little coffin purse on the cover of the second issue is so damn cute. I'm a slut for character design, okay?

Oh speaking of Flatline and Dami, I don't ship it and I don't want them to force a romantic relationship into Damian's "coming of age"/"soul-searching" moment okay? Because that's what this run is about, at least to me! More on that in the story section!

They're literally 13/14 years old. That's 8th-9th grade, babes lets think about that for a minute

Also let's stop the whole "lets introduce a female character just to make her a love interest!" bullshit okay?

Basically, Flatline is interesting, or at least has the potential to be, but I don't want to get my hopes up because DC is notorious for disservicing their female characters 😕

I think the mixed reaction to her is valid, I don't think she's had much time to make a solid impression yet, so I guess you'd have to read it for yourself. Personally, I don't understand why people immediately hate her, especially because she's like, 14, and what kid that age isn't annoying? like at least a little bit lmao! But, yeah. I don't trust her either but literally everyone on this island is sketchy at least and a murderer at best, so hey 🤷‍♀️

Damian

His new outfit lmaoooo at first I was like "WHaT is this child wearing? You'd think Dick would have rubbed off on him and taught him what good taste looks like" but then I saw the later outfit, with the gold patterning and those sleeeevessssss ugh and I take it all back. A Fashion Icon TM. Truly stunning. A sight to behold. So proud, look at him go 😪

I think there's a lot of different opinions on Damian's characterization in this run, and I can definitely see where its coming from, but I disagree with the notion that Damian has been done dirty and reverted to a blood-thirsty, feral child. And I have a LOT of opinions on the whole "feral" thing regarding Damian period (but that's for another time).

I don't think of Dami's rampage as a regression for his character. He's letting of emotions right then and I think its very similar to him venting. Its just not verbal, its physical and he knows he's not going to have to grapple with the consequences of his actions on the first kill. He knows he's technically not doing anything wrong.

He is clearly upset at Bruce and his failure to protect Alfred, and while Dami and Bruce are really often described as being very similar personality-wise, they are still distinctly different individuals who came to their current moral codes in vastly different ways. Bruce came to his "no killing" rule on his own; he made that decision for himself. It wasn't taught to him, it was a moment-of-truth kind of situation. Damian, on the other hand is in a vastly different situation.

Dami is, I think, at the beginning of the climb to his own moment-of-truth. He is in his rebellious phase like Dick, where he's gone off to spread his wings. It's not his conscious intention (at least that's not the vibe I got from reading the first two issues), but its directly underlying his "mission".

Damian is growing out of the expectations of his parents and into his own person. We all know he's been thrown from one moral code to another, both drastically different from each other. I don't think its a regression for him to lose his way a little, because realistically, he's going to have to in order to find it, specifically a moral compass that he forged on his own. He's just what? 14? Like hell a kid his age wants to listen to any form of authority. He's as stubborn as it comes. Damian needs to come to his decision regarding the path he takes in life on his own. It can't be made for him. He's seen and lived both sides of the coin, and I don't think he should be forced just yet to choose a side or pave a middle ground, but I do think that he should get the opportunity to see and experience all the gray areas on his own.

I think I'll transition from characterization to story here, because let's face it, this story is about Damian dealing with his confused emotions right now, in the wake of losing Alfred, a man that kind of acted like a grounding presence, a voice of reason, or a moral compass for him (and honestly Bruce and the rest of the bat crew if we're honest).

Story

So there's a lottttt going on in the story that is really enticing and exciting, and I'm really interested to see how it all plays out.

All the rules to the tournament are so, sketchy? Like they don't sound like they are meant to be sketchy, its basic safety and guidelines or whatever but with all the glowy green shit and the stakes of the tournament? Yeah, you can bet your ass its the "no fighting at night" and other shit is gonna be broken, and that's likely when the fun begins *insert evil laughter*😈

I was slightly put off by the whole "let me teach you to have fun" thing with Rose, because it's not like Dick, Steph, Jon, and like the Titans haven't done that with him too, but eh, not something I'm too concerned about. It's definitely just a segway to get us introduced to more characters that might become Damian's friends which will be interesting considering what Mother Soul said about fraternizing.

And that's another thing! I want Damian to make some friends! I know he already has some, but here's the thing: I think he's already been struggling with belonging, and he's definitely been feeling the disconnect between his life and other kids', whether they're supers/vigilantes or not. I think it'd be nice to see Dami have the experience of meeting people who he at first thinks are just like him!! and then realizing that maybe he doesn't really fit in here either, and that it's okay to feel like you don't belong, as isolating as it may feel at times. It just means you have a set of values. I want him to realize that its not always a bad thing, and you learn more about yourself and your own heart this way.

And from there,,, lets talk about the thing that stuck out to me the most in these two issues! GUILT!! It's mentioned SOO many times already, and I think its going to be a really fun, heartbreaking, and interesting aspect to explore about Damian. Is it guilt about his actions? Leaving behind family? Not being able to save Alfred? Not being a perfect example of Robin? He may call himself Robin but he doesn't sport the OG look or symbol like before. I love that his guilt takes on the form of Alfred though, or at least his conscious. I think it'd be really interesting to see this conscious disappear when Dami strays too far from his center, and when he finds it again, it reappears.

I really think that seeing Damian's actions in this run as a failure of character development is an unfair assessment, though. You can't do everything right in order to grow! You have to screw up, lose your way, experiment with life to find your fit, right?

Something tells me he doesn’t care for the tournament itself, but the end result, and the people behind it and more about WHY it was hidden from him. I mean he finds out the tournament TRULY begins once everyone has died once and tHEN he kill everyone? Felt to me less like a “killing spree” as everyone put it to a calculated decision to get the tournament going. He literally cuts Mother Soul off in the middle of her speaking to start fighting at the beginning

Anyway, just my thoughts lol. I do have some issues with the past two issues, and I might make a separate post about that, but honestly not enough for me to dislike Robin 2021 so far. I mean, besides the very obvious white-washing in the second issue, because DC can absolutely do better. And they should. It’s like they thought we wouldn’t notice???? But besides that, story and characterization-wise I’m looking forward to more. Here’s to hoping it stays that way, just with a better colorist!

#dc comics #robin 2021 #damian wayne #robin

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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years

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Hi!! I've just found your blog and really like how you write! If it's no trouble, how would either the blue lions or black eagles react to an s/o that wants to drop out of the academy? Like, would they try to stop them or let them go? (pre-timeskip of course lol)

[Hello and welcome to my blog! Thank you for the compliments, they truly mean the world to me. For this i’ll write for BE considering that I haven’t gotten a request for them in particular recently.You can always tell which characters I write for first because the imagines gradually get longer as I become more invested lol. Hope you like it!]

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR BLACK EAGLE RUN BELOW

Edelgard:

Edelgard would approach the situation cautiously. She will not act until she somehow pries every detail out of you.

“I understand my dear...but may I ask why?” - Will lead you through a roundabout interrogation. If there’s any possibility that you’re being cohered to leave by an external source she will find out

Hubert may receive a mission to do some digging

Her course of action also depends greatly on timing. If this issue suddenly appears around when she plans to invade the monastery then she will let you go with a grain of salt. She does not want to fight you in battle if you decide to side with the church

If she is already certain that you are on her side then she will offer you refuge in Enbarr before the war begins.

Is also very understanding if one of your reasons for dropping out is not wanting to fight your friends and/or develop emotional attachments

Whatever you decide will not change anything. One way or another you’d be leaving Garreg Mache, who is she to call the shots on how?

Dorathea:

“I will not stand to let you go without an explanation” - Please do not let her find out through a secondary source

Seriously.

Dorathea is not the loose girl that people peg her to be. She is kind, headstrong, and will whip your butt if you plan to just up and leave her

Depending on your reasoning she will try to stop you. It’s such an effort to earn a place at the academy, and leaving is truly a waste in her opinion

Might actually drag the professor into the conversation if you don’t convince her fast enough. Yes, she will resort to any tactics necessary

Being away from you might actually break her heart. She knows it’s selfish but if you leave then the chances you’ll ever be together are slim

In the end she’ll give in, saying that she loves you. If you end up staying she’ll be overjoyed

If you leave...well, she won’t change. To the average eye she’s the same person but to those close the fire behind her actions is gone

Find her after garreg mache falls. Please, don’t leave her wondering if you lived

Bernadetta:

She’s at a loss. One of the closest people she has is leaving and she can’t do anything

The only way she finds out is through the professor. There’s a knocking on her door that won’t go away, and on the outside there they stand. They ask her to try and convince you; naturally, she attempts to get out of it

“Me?! Isn’t there someone better you could ask?” Initially she’ll freak out before the realization sets in.

“I can’t do anything...they won’t listen to someone like me”- and with that she’ll hole herself away from everyone. In her mind there won’t be a need for a goodbye if you two don’t meet

Even if you come to her door every day she won’t open it. Instead she’ll cling to her bear stuffie with bated breath until you walk away

Until one day you don’t show

She waits, and waits, and waits, and waits. She waits till the sky is dark yet you still haven’t come

Then she’ll creep out of her room, maybe you fell asleep outside while trying to trick her out? When she sees an empty courtyard her stomach drops

She’ll walk to your room in a haste only to see boxes stacked outside. Her heart shatters

“W-w-wait! P-please, please d-don’t go” - Hear her out and talk. She’s sorry for ignoring you, just don’t leave

Petra:

Her position is one that doesn’t offer much freedom.

Not enough to travel Fodlan, not enough to help her country, and not enough to follow you. If you leave then that’s it. You’re gone

Petra will listen to your argument in full. She knows the feeling of being somewhere you do not feel welcome. She wants you to forge the path you wish to walk

“If this is not the place of being in which you call home, then you must do the leaving. I will not be stopping you”

Petra will want to know what your plans are after you go. Where can she find you? Would you perhaps like to come visit Bridgid after she graduates?

Petra does not view it as an end, but as a path to a new beginning. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise then she will honestly fight them. They will not take away your right to be free and make your own choices

On the inside she is hurting, greatly. There are not many people at the academy that made her feel at home, with you gone there will be even less.

She plans to send you letters often. On pen and paper she conveys her thoughts easily, and it will be good practice for learning the language of fodlan

If you end up staying she will reveal how you leaving would have hurt her, but if you go the relief is still there.

Knowing you were far from the monestary during the fighting puts her at ease.

Caspar:

“You can’t leave! We’ve worked so hard here, and there’s people that need us! Why give that up?!”

Caspar is not happy. In fact, his entire day is completely soured. When you tell him he won’t even take it seriously at first. He’ll laugh like it’s some kind of ‘twisted joke’. You know, give you a pat on the back and continue talking about something else. Basically he avoids the conversation lol give dima a run for his money why don’t ya

Then he gets defensive. Why even bother enrolling if you’re just going to give up half-way? He honestly rambles so fast that getting a single word in is harder than convincing linhardt to train

Just let him get it out.

When he’s done listing off all the reasons you should stay he’ll be out of breath and leaning against one of the nearby tables. Hopefully you chose to have this conversation in private because he does not control his volume

It’s best to not say anything more. When he sees that you’re not swayed he’ll leave to go be alone. Give him some time and then go talk again

You’ll most likely find him sitting with his head in his hands by the peer. Very ‘uncaspar’ behavior

“I know it’s your choice- I do, but...I don’t want you to leave”

This is when you can explain your reasoning to him. He’ll just sit there and take it in silently. Though at the end he’ll reinstate the points he brought up before, and ask you to rethink the situation again. He knows that he makes rash decisions, but that doesn’t mean you have to

If you decide to stay he’ll try his best to help remedy any issues you have while at the academy, and beyond that he’ll ask you to stick by him during the war

If you leave he still won’t accept it, but he knows that it isn’t his choice. Just be safe.

Hubert:

Hubert knew of your plans long before you brought it up. The moment you two entered a courtship he did an extensive background check, and now constantly keeps track of anything you’re involved with

Some call it creepy, he calls it safety

Just so happens that a little birdie told him about you sending in an inquiry about withdrawal papers. First he notifies Lady Edelgard about the possible prospect of losing an ally, and then he approaches you personally

“Did you really think you could let this sneak past me?” -He’d ask once sure that you two were alone. While improper, he would sneak into your dorm past curfew. He’d find you sitting at your desk as if you were expecting him

“No, I only wanted to test how your ‘research’ skills are fairing. This must be a new record,”- You’d reply with just as much attitude. A smirk would crawl up his lips at it. You always have something to say

Before expressing any personal distaste he has with the decision, Hubert’s first priority is to find where you stand with regard to Empire. He’ll snoop by asking your opinion of the church to deduce if you’ll be a possible enemy. His duty comes before his personal opinions

Then he will calmly ask for your reasoning, and attempt to come up with a different solution. If there is one he will do all in his power to convince you of it. You are a respected ally and cherished companion of “the empire” (we all know he will not say you’re important to him this early on in the relationship. Give it another six years)

If deemed trustworthy, he will take similar action to Edelgard. He offers you a home in Enbarr located near where he will be stationed. When the time comes you can choose to either fight with the army, or do as you wish. There are many less dangerous positions he knows you are well qualified for

Linhardt:

When he wants to care he will do so. We’ve seen it with how he treats crest research in comparison to something like daily lessons. Linhardt is extremely intelligent and can even outsmart someone as wise as Hanneman if he wants to

He treats his partner like how he wishes for them to treat him: with trust. If there are rumors of your planned departure floating about the monastery he will ignore them. Gossip has never proved to bare no consequence

To be persistent in such a situation holds no merit in his eyes

That does not mean he is not curious. From what he gathered you seemed to be living a pleasant life here at the monastery. There should be no probable cause for departure unless he’s missing something

Linhardt is the kind to patiently wait. He will not seek you out or ask any of the professors. Instead he will spend his days with you as usual until you bring up the topic in question

This is where it is a battle of wits. He can be quite persuasive when he wishes to be, and right then he’s extra motivated. Though one look at the stressed crease of your brow dials down his normally paramount nature

He will suggest that you humor him with a list of pro’s and con’s of leaving. Afterwords he’ll throw in his own two-cents and leave you to think on your own

“If I were you I would not be so hasty. The human lifespan is brief and to dispose of an opportunity of this caliber could prove detrimental to your future” -way to pile on the stress Linhardt

Just remember that you love him and that he is only thinking in your best interest from a statistical standpoint. On the inside he really is afraid of what might happen to you when he is not around

The boy already hates bloodshed, but your injuries in particular are ones that make him blanch

Ferdinand:

Lorenz brings up a rumor of you withdrawing during their annual tea. He doesn’t do so out of spite, but merely out of concern considering that you are a good friend. He assumes that if anyone should know it would be your boyfriend

He did not

Not even a bit

“You must be mistaken my friend. If such a thing ere to transpire (Y/N) would have informed me immediately” - He would brush it off, but internally his nerves are fried. He decides to see you out once his evening duties are finished

The entire day he’s anxious to hear from you. It shows in how he completes his tasks. Oh, the shame. What proper noble cannot properly re-shelve library books?

When he finds you he cannot hide the anxiety in his voice. You instantly pick up on it and address the topic. Ferdinand does not take it well

“Do you hear yourself? To give up on such an opportunity as this is utter foolishness! I thought the rumors were preposterous, but to hear they were true?” - he would be flabbergasted. Dorothea has made it prominent that he tends to push his ideals onto others, but this was completely different

His words hurt. You were already struggling enough as it was to come to a decision. He of all people should be supporting you

You just leave midway during the conversation. After a moment of recollection he regrets what he said. That sort of treatment is not befitting of a noble...or anyone really

He’ll go find you and apologize. It doesn’t matter if you’re alone or beside some of your monastery pals, he will beg for forgiveness and will not leave you alone until you give it

Then he completely butts out. He makes his side of the coin apparent but leaves the ultimate decision to you

“I apologize. I unfairly lashed out at you after you spoke to me in confidence. I was hurt that you desired to leave everyone...and me. No matter what you decide I will support you”

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changlingrogue · 4 years

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Okay, a head's up, this got rambly and it will definitely have spoilers for Campaign 2 Episode 128, 127 and to be on the safe side 126. I'll tag it as "cr spoilers" and put it under a cut though.

Okay, so, starting from the jump the episode is a little anxiety inducing as it picks up directly where last week's left off with Caleb, Jester and Veth confronted by Trent down in the basement. Trent only appears to want to talk (being the mofo he is, his words are just as dangerous as his magic), but Caleb isn't having any of that and starts things off with casting Wall of Fire (I think?) to separate them from Trent. Trent dispels it and still seems interested in talking until Caleb casts a Firebolt at him. Veth follows up with her attack which does work and then Jester tries another Word of Recall which Trent tries to Counterspell with a horrifying nat 20, but it gets cancelled out by Caleb's nat 20 and the three of them escape to Nicodranas, outside on the Brenatto family's balcony. A couple of takeaways from this encounter:

Was trying to fight Trent the best idea, no. But like I can't say I blame Caleb. Liam made it very clear that Caleb was terrified. He was going off of raw emotions and being confronted by the man that ruined his life in a place that held a lot of emotional trauma for him... can't say most people would be able to keep a cool head.

It does still make me wonder how things would have went if Trent had been able to talk. Would they have been able to leave without things ending up like they ultimately did or was it just a way for Trent to keep control of the situation? Maybe a bit of both? Trent certainly risks losing more now that he has to come up with some sort of explanation for what happened at the sanitarium and given that the whole Cerberus Assembly is under investigation, its not a good look. Veth's decision to steal some of those crystals did alert Trent to what they were doing and is maybe part of the reason he's pursuing them so aggressively, but I feel like its going to be one of those things that really helps them out in the future. I was happy when it was proposed to keep at least one for evidence, because I think if it's used in the right way and given to the right people it might be a nail in the coffin Trent (hopefully) finds himself in.

To jump off from the crystal point, I'm really digging how in this campaign player choices have at times had some really interesting a longstanding consequences/rewards. Like it really makes the world feel alive, and that its not revolving around M9. Like for one of the more "positive" examples, Beau telling Dairon about how she was kidnapped and forced into the Cobalt Soul lead to the eventual arrest and upcoming trail of Zeenoth and the apology Beau deserved for years. But on the flip side, as we learn eventually, when the rest of the party joins back up with them in Nicodranas, Jester mentioning The Ruby of the Sea gives Trent a lead of where to find them. (I'd also like to mention that Team Outtie or Audi, lol, did a pretty good job. Fjord really came through with Arcane Gate, Marine Layer and even Major Image. It didn't stop Trent but it did keep the Guards busy. Caduceus got them out quick with Word of Recall and while Beau's umm, assassination attempt was brutal, she did keep the Guard on top of the tower from doing anything and she alerted Team Outtie to the arrival of Trent and more Guards.)

But back to Nicodranas and M9 trying to get their families there ferried away to safety. I really did nearly cry from the conversations Jester and Veth had. I adore Jester and mother's relationship, like Marion is one of my favorite of Matt's NPCs for more than reason and I love how just... loving and understanding she is. And I really like Yeza for that similar reason. Those two conversations really stuck out to me because of like... idk, I guess they sort of hit home a bit? With Jester and her mom it's the shift of being the one whose protected to the one who is the protector that I (and other adults) experience at one point when it comes to your parents as they get older. It's not as wild as keeping them safe from a powerful mage and his magic assassins, but it's a total flip in a relationship that you've had since you were younger.

And with Veth it's about being a parent and a partner and having to make choices and sometimes sacrifices to keep them safe. I'm really glad Veth and Yeza got a chance to talk and be open with one another, for at least a bit. I was surprised by Yeza's perspective of things and how he felt he was also guilty of putting their family in harm's way because I always assumed like, at least when it came to working with the Assembly he didn't have much a choice ( Idk if I just missed that part or it was mentioned in Talks or not), but him saying that he also took risks because he wanted to make something of himself and provide for Veth gives a new perspective of him and on his and Veth's relationship. Like now it seems more like he actually understands (on some level) Veth's conflicting feelings of wanting be an adventurer but wanting to be with her family too and that's why he's been so supportive of her vs him just kind of blindly supporting her. I really hope they continue to be open with one another and they keep talking about things, which I guess they might get a chance to again in the future if Veth actually does end up coming home to them for good after M9 takes care of the TombTakers. I'm sad about the idea of Veth leaving and not adventuring with the rest of M9, and I will legit cry if they say to goodbye but I can understand and respect her reasoning. She really did try to "have both" and for the things that they've been involved in, it, unfortunatly, doesn't work. Since reuniting with her family that's been one of her main conflicts and I'm happy that she finally seemed to come to a decision of what comprimises she can and can't make for the type of life she wants. I know a lot of the fandom won't be happy if Veth leaves and Sam creates another character but I like that Sam (and honestly everyone else as well) really plays his characters to who they are as people. After those heartwrenching moments, the tension in the game picks up again as they find out that they're being watched by two inviduals who turn out to be Astrid and Eadwulf. Astrid basically tells them to get everyone they care about and get the fuck out of Nicodranas since they've been dispatched to get them, and from some invisable tailing by Veth, we learn that there's another Volstrucker in town, along with fucking Trent himself and that they're only a few blocks away from the Lavish Chateu. So M9 gets themselves and the families together and steaths to Yussa's tower, hoping he could help them get somewhere else quick, only to find that he can't be reached at the moment. Luckily, his servant Wentsworth knows of something that might help and after some searching a Detect Languages spell, they find a scroll that has the spell Plane Shift and a tuning fork that they're unsure which plane its atturned to.

My thoughts on this are:

That I'm not sure if they're lucky or unlucky at this point. Because on one hand they're literally on the run from one of the most powerful mages in the Empire, but on the otherhand they've managed to escape him twice, despite the odds being against them. I really want to know what plane they're on, there's a lot of speculation that its the Plane of Fire which sounds terrible, but I'm not that versed in like D&D lore so maybe it's not as bad as it sounds in my head. I agree with Matt that thinking to use the Happy Fun Ball as a way to transport some of their people was pretty clever, I just hope they made the right choices for who went inside and who stayed outside. This is Yasha's first time in the ball! I wish it was under better circsumstances so that everyone could be there and they could actually explore but I wonder what her reaction will be. When she's not making out with Beau, lol. I'm not as worried for the group in the ball as I am for the group outside of it, I think Beau, Yasha and Fjord will be able to get to an exit without too much trouble as long as they don't stumble across any surprises that aren't on the map. And I'm very intrigued with how Astrid is shaping up as a character. I like so far what Matt is doing with her and I like that she's shaping up to not just be the "bad bitch/ruthless" villain archetype that a lot of female characters end up being. That character can be fun and enjoyable in certain things and when there's more beneath the surface, but it's nice to see that Astrid actually does care about Caleb. I was suspicious of her intentions before, but I feel that Matt has made it clear that while her and Eadwulf are still adversaries to the M9, they do care about Caleb and want to help him out. I feel for the whole Blumenthal Trio one way or another. To close things, because this had gotten way too long, lol. I can't wait for the next episode. Hopefully everything will work out for them and they can get the families to safety, though I don't know if sending them to the Gentleman is a good idea. But we'll see eventually!

#critical role #cr spoilers #long text post #campaign 2 ep 128 #cr ramblings

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lizacstuff · 4 years

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Sen Cal Kapimi / Edser / Turkish Dizi asks

Asks under the cut

i love that in sck world, i love you means i love you, but also i hate you/our feelings are mutual means i love you. edser have a unique love declarations thats for sure 😂

YEP! In Edser world “I hate you” means I love you... but ONLY when you use the full name.

Çok romantik when done properly, I can’t hardly wait to see what Serkan might be remembering when he repeats the line back to Eda! It’s their thing!

Anonymous said: Hi! How you doing? Have you ever watch Şeref Meselesi? Is it good? Do you recommend?

Hello, I’m well! No, I have not watched it. The Kerem fans on twitter seem to really dig it, though. Personally, when I’m THIS invested in shipping, it’s hard for me to see one half my OTP in other roles. Particularly when were in the middle of the show. Maybe I’ll check it out some day. If you do watch, let me know what you think.

Anonymous said: I will give SCK this, they sure know how to keep us guessing between the next episode photos, summary and the fragman. Not to mention all the spoilers that are floating around Twitter. I have no idea how episode 31 is going to be super romantic for Edser with Selin still hanging around but let’s bring it on. For episode 30, at least Serkan’s interest in Eda has returned based on the fragman because that lacking in the last episode just felt so wrong after everything. He was attracted to her for sure but understandably fought it every step of the way. Eda was trying to reconnect with a brick wall because of the amnesia, trauma and Selin’s influence which was crushing to watch. Going to be interesting to see how Serkan responds to getting a few memories back and his growing interest in Eda combined with his engagement to Selin. Seems unlikely he would within one episode switch from being purely logical about everything to totally in love with Eda & throwing caution to the wind but I could be totally wrong.

I think he was attracted to her in 29. If he wasn’t the man who has no intention of ever marrying wouldn’t have freaked out and stumbled and bumbled his way through an impromptu proposal to a woman he doesn’t love just to put some distance between him and the crazy, beautiful, “evil” “manipulative” woman who changed him and took half his company!!!!

Also, remember episode 1, where he tried to pretend he wasn’t attracted to her as a woman.

So he always tries to deny her allure at first, and he’s always lying.

I don’t think we’ll see him go to “totally in love with her” in the next episode. I think we’ll see him, once the immediate threat is neutralized by his little stunt, becoming more and more intrigued by her. And her little stunt is going to bring out his innate, primal jealousy when it comes to her.

Also, from the fragman, I’m not entirely convinced he’s really engaged to Selin. The way he said, “I want you to wear this (tiny) ring.” Didn’t smack of a real engagement, even a loveless one, it more sounded like what you would say for a fake one. Also he’s not wearing a ring in the pictures. Old Serkan was very adverse to marriage and his relationship with Selin broke up over that fact, so I wouldn’t be shocked if after he made his shocking proposal and he and Selin left he was like, “Thanks for playing along, obviously we’re not really getting married, lets keep up the ruse so Eda stays away from me.”

We’ll see. I could see the story going for matching fake engagements. Though if he doesn’t disclaim his intent to marry her this episode, he will soon. So no worries there.

Should be fun!

Anonymous said: I'm all for them making Selin completely batshit psycho if she does end up going to jail; it would be entertaining, but you're right, I don't think I've ever seen it in a romance dizi. Some villains have done fucked up things and the protagonists just tell them to go away and that's kinda it. I think with some rumored things like drugging and implying they slept together, that would be treading a very fine line if the writers were to go there and not show proper consequences.

How have they implied they slept together? The show went out of their way to show Serkan on the couch and Selin going home to sleep in Istanbul. They didn’t have to do that, but they were very clear. I’m cool to follow the text and not neutronic fan’s fears.

My biggest trepidation about this storyline is that there will be no satisfactory repercussions for Selin. It needs to be more than her slinking back across the continent in shame. She needs to face real consequences.

Anonymous said: you know, if i was serkan (and especially with how even more robot-y he is now) and heard their story from engin i would probably call it "cok sacma" too.. like from the outside looking it, their love story and journey is quite crazy lmao. i've always wanted a fic from a third-person perspective of some regular ass artlife employee from the beginning just observing their boss and the crazy antics that ensue after he quite suddenly gets engaged to a woman he's constantly fighting with lol.

YES PLEASE!!! Someone write this!!!

It is quite a crazy story... which is why it was enough to sustain 60+ hours of story telling all on its own, lmao.

I’m sure everything being thrown at Serkan at once, the ways he grew and evolved, what he was able to tolerate and participate in, is quite shocking to him. However, Robot Bolat has never been in love so he just doesn’t understand the transformative nature of love. He’ll learn, and quickly! Also, I’m a big proponent that Serkan didn’t change. It’s just that under the influence of his love for Eda, he healed and he opened up and grew into the man who was always there, deep inside.

#sckask #sck 1x29 #asklizac #anonymous

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jerepars · 4 years

Text

Throwing Copper Extended Chapter Notes

3 / 5 Why We Ever

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is posted here. Direct link to this chapter is here.

James contemplated what an early morning of everyday things would consist of if they were different people, in a different life. He wondered if she would make fun of his bedhead and if her laughter would fill up the air in the room when he reached over and pulled her closer, threatening to not let go unless she stopped squirming, until the book they’d been reading toppled to the floor, forgotten. He wondered if they’d let their coffee run cold.

There’s a song called “Everyday Things” by David Usher, which doesn’t mention any of the things James is thinking about here, but I do like the idea of James (or Teresa for that matter) thinking of what everyday things would consist of for them. Also, I hadn’t heard the original version of this song in...years...because the one I always listen to is the acoustic version, featuring Cœur de pirate, whose back vocals are very complimentary. The original version of the song doesn’t even sound right to me and it sounded so off when I listened to it to get the url. Not that any of this matters at all.

A frown settled between Teresa’s eyebrows and she blinked away tears before they could form. She swallowed the lump of emotions blocking her throat. There was an irony to her actions. Doing something for James gave her new lungs, but explaining it to him made it hard to breathe.

The song “New Lungs” by Glacier Veins is what I was thinking of here, because of the line that goes And with new lungs I relearn how to breathe.

“You know why,” she answered simply, unwilling to elaborate what she was sure they both understood.

Making her feel better and being a shoulder to lean on might’ve been things James did out of a sense of obligation. But turning up in New Orleans to warn her about Devon, and then being the overwatch for the meeting Devon had shown up to – those things were about something else. It was the same for Teresa. When the opportunity presented itself, for her to make James’ Devon problem go away, the reason she didn’t hesitate wasn’t because she felt she owed him or had to repay him. She did it because it was James. The things they took on for each other, actions strong enough to shift tectonic plates, they did because they wanted to. The only boundaries of their loyalty and love for one another were speaking about them out loud.

I’ve found the cave metaphor from 1x06 to be something that I continually come back to while writing about James and Teresa. There’s a part of the conversation, which focuses on how far implication goes with them, when James says, “You know what I’m talking about” (1:35). So I wanted there to be a similar thing here, with Teresa saying “you know why” about why they’re willing to do so much for each other. It seems a big part of why they never say how they really feel is because it’s so easy for them to make vague statements with implications that they both understand.

Teresa was right, and James did understand, because when he looked at her again, the warmth of his eyes was ebbing away at the anger held there. “Not sure I can exist without consequence,“ James told her softly.

When I started planning this chapter, I could hear James’ dialogue here so clearly in my mind. The line and the idea of James having grown so uneasy with a life where there’s no retribution against him is inspired by American Football’s “Uncomfortably Numb”. Mike Kinsella (the band’s vocalist) and Hayley Williams (who is featured on the track) do a little call and return with the line: But how will you exist (how will I exist?) without consequence? I’ll let you know.

This song is so hypnotic and I remember listening to it ad nauseum, except that I never got tired of it, when it first came out. I listened to it over and over and over again (again, lol) while writing this chapter, and I still love it. The mood of the song, in my opinion, really matches the mood of the chapter.

Despite the high stakes of their mission, or maybe because of it, the last three days had been better than, perhaps, the last three hundred. Like looking in his eyes and searching for clarity, working with James again was like muscle memory for Teresa.

This part is a call back to the first chapter, where it’s mentioned that for Teresa, looking at James and searching his eyes for their next move, for reassurance, for clarity is like muscle memory she can’t shake. Not that this is a super important detail, but I do like to put earlier ideas into later chapters for cohesion. This is probably why I can’t write something short to save my life, because I think too much about small details. It bugs me, in fic, when it’s obvious time has been spent on certain details but then the idea is never brought up ever again.

Working on an operation with him made Teresa curse the reasons why they’d ever said I’m gonna miss you and I’ll see you around a year ago, when they’d said goodbye. It brought back the feelings of longing, of wanting to coexist in the same space and move in the same direction, at the same time, together.

It was unintentional that the two songs that inspired this chapter most have Hayley Williams in them. But when I listen to them back to back, I can also see why that ended up happening. This chapter is named after the Hayley Williams song “Why We Ever” because of the line that goes And now I can’t seem to remember why we ever felt we had to say goodbye.

I watched the goodbye scene in 3x13 to write these two sentences. There are a lot of scenes from QOTS that I’ve watched over and over again but that’s not one of them because, like, it hurts me. Also it’s super frustrating that that’s the note Jeresa ends on until the last ten seconds of 4x13. I'm thinking S5 Jeresa needs to happen by 5x03. And if not, we riot. Lol.

“For freaking out and needing you the other night. For doubting you and questioning you, when you’re always just trying to help me,” Teresa rambled, then paused to take a breath, because what she really wanted to apologize for cut at her the deepest. “I’m sorry for the things I’ve asked you to do. For the people you had to take out and people you had to bury. Even after I knew about what happened with Suzie, I still asked you to…”

The part of “Why We Ever” that really pulls at my heartstrings is the end, which goes: I just wanna talk about it. I know I freaked you out. I just wanna talk about it. Sorry for freaking out.

That’s simple, sure. But it’s raw. I wanted Teresa to get pretty raw in this scene, letting her honesty come tumbling out without eloquence.

Also, something that has irked me since 3x05 is the fact that James is so clearly not the same after what happened to Suzie, and when we learn what happened, we understand why he’s so affected by the stuff he has to do, even out of necessity. What happened to Suzie takes it to the extreme, creates a breaking point for James, but even going back to S1, James has never liked the part of his job that means he has to hurt and kill people. After finding out what happened in 3x05, 3x04 seemed especially cruel to James, when he’s left to bury the reporter - we just didn’t know how cruel it was at the time.

And I get it, he has to do his job. Occupational hazards, right? But he’s changed after 3x05, and he still has to kill for Teresa. He even has to dig the ditch to bury Guero. The experiences of cartel life that Teresa and James have are certainly different, and again this makes sense, because they are in different roles. But S3 is not kind to James, not in the least, and I think that’s why it makes sense to me that he’d want out of the life if there’s nothing or no one to stay for.

I don’t know that Teresa will ever be this apologetic in canon, since she’s the queen so she’s free to give out orders without explanation or sympathy. I wish it would happen though, and I think there’s potential for prime Jeresa content if she does. I wrote it myself since the likelihood of it happening is probably slim to none.

Teresa trailed off without finishing her train of thought. She wasn’t meant to apologize, for she was the queen. She was supposed to stay icy and distant; sensitivity deprived. But she couldn’t help it with James. She couldn’t help the light leaking back in. It was different, because he was different.

The opening lyrics of “Uncomfortably Numb” are sensitivity deprived. That phrase begins the first two verses. As already mentioned, to me the song encapsulates the mood of this chapter so well.

He looked scared, confused about what she’d said. James had grown used to Teresa’s mixed signals; they’d been dancing around each other and their feelings for so long. But Teresa being direct was new. Her dark side scared him, and he didn’t know to which part of her directness belonged to, light or dark.

This is, again, a call back to the first chapter, where it’s mentioned there’s a part of Teresa (the Teresa that she’s become) that scares James a bit. Just trying to tie it back in and keep the chapters cohesive, connected, over the course of the story.

Her heart was already on the floor, but had she been entirely forthcoming? She’d reinforced that he had a choice, and he was free. But had she even given James a reason to want to stay? Had she ever? Did he even know her desire for him to stay had many layers to it?

Heart is on the floor, why don’t you step on it? is the first line in the chorus of “Rocks Tonic Juice Magic” by Saves the Day. I didn’t really realize I was making this reference until I was actually typing it out. And it being the last song reference in the chapter, when I went to get the URL, I ended up with so much sorrow because I have so many fond memories of being at shows surrounded by people with the same feelings for this song and this music as me, and singing these words back with such urgency. I miss shows so much. I think finally being able to go back to shows, in a post-pandemic world, whenever that is, is going to be so emotional and I’m probably going to cry.

Okay, so that was a tangent.

Anyway, I don’t think Teresa has ever let herself be so vulnerable, to just come out and tell James how she feels or what she wants. It doesn’t mean she and James don’t already know. But there is something to be said about, well, saying those things. It takes brevity, but if she can’t be honest where it counts, then they don’t have a chance. That’s why I wanted Teresa to have this moment, with her heart on the floor, thinking...does she need to take it even a step further?

And by the end of it, she does.

#je repars notes

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thecreepiestcarrie · 4 years

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#JusticeforJohnnyDepp: Johnny’s witness statements at a glance (Kevin Murphy & Kate James)

Things I Cover in this Post:

AH’s consumption of alcohol and prescription pills

AH consistently lying/submitting false documents in order to get what she wants

the dogs in Australia

AH lying to Homeland Security

AH’s abuse of Johnny (both verbal and physical)

the shit in the bed

AH bullying/threatening/intimidating members of Johnny’s staff

The two witness statements I’m including highlights from come from: Kate James- personal assistant to AH for a little under 3 years & Kevin Murphy- Johnny’s estate manager for 8 years, ending in 2016

Before we get into that, I would really love it if you could check out and sign this petition that is demanding an official review into the misconduct of the judge for this case, Andrew Nicol.

It’s a lot of talk about the illegal smuggling of the dogs into Australia, which could definitely come off as tedious af, but I feel this is an excellent demonstrator of the character of Scum and how she tries to manipulate/control all those around her. That is mostly what this instalment is going to be about, employees speaking to the character of Scum and her non-existent relationship with the truth.

Beginning with a woman who worked as assistant to Scum, so Scum was paying her, you would think her loyalty would be to her employer, the person she was working for and spending lots of time with. Well, nope, coz Scum is exactly that - SCUM.

More of Scum bullying/belittling Johnny. But I mainly included this part so we could take a look at Kate’s account of Scum drinking ‘vast quantities’ of wine each night. Johnny recounted in his witness statements of his ‘difficult’ relationship with drink and drugs, including visits to rehab facilities in order to get sober. He talks specifically of March 2015, in Australia (when she mutilated his finger), saying: Under the stress of the situation, I poured myself a glass of vodka and drank it. It was with this glass that I broke my sobriety. Kate was fired by Scum (actually blindsided is how she put it) in Feb of 2015, so the testimony of her buying non-alcoholic beer for Johnny holds up to me.

Before I started reading properly into this case, I was nervous to properly research into it because I was thinking that I would read something about Johnny that I didn’t like and I was terrified that I’d never come back from that. 12 years of my life- loving, idolising, being inspired by this man- I didn’t want that to end in a blazing burn of ‘wow, what a shithead, I can’t believe that’s what I dedicated time/money/energy to’. But halleloo, he is everything I’ve always hoped he was and potentially more. So I included this section not just as a ‘wow, Johnny is the greatest’, but also, Scum’s assistant failing to see any signs of injury, which is just another voice to add to the booming chorus at this point.

Here we have Scum wilfully and knowingly breaking laws for her own benefit.

Here is the photo that was submitted as part of Kate’s evidence. It isn’t super clear but I’ve highlighted the date, as well as some of the flowery language Scum employs to portray herself as so much better than she is and just going over the top with that.

This is a check Kate submitted in her evidence. To me, the signature doesn’t seem to match the one on the document from Scum. But what is important about this check is the name: Savannah McMillian, the fact that it’s from the Bank of America and the date, of September 2014, which is the same month of Scum’s false document (if you zoom in).

There is no chance in Hell that Savannah was just a friend of Scum’s visiting America for a magical trip. No ma’am, no Pam. I also wanted to include a screenshot provided by Kevin Murphy of an email from Savannah, in which she specifically introduces herself as Scum’s assistant. So here is another lie to add to her list (is there even any room on the tally board anymore?)

‘She felt that she was above the law’

Hmm, what does that remind me of? Oh right, the symptoms/signs of antisocial personality disorders aka SOCIOPATHIC BEHAVIOUR! Referring back to Mayo Clinic, they describe: a disregard for right/wrong, arrogance/sense of superiority, unnecessary risk-taking, failure to consider negative consequences/learn from them, consistent irresponsibility and so on and so on.

She’s lied and perjured herself in the past - why wouldn’t she continue to lie to get what she wants? aka- this whole hoax against Johnny.

Grease? Calm down sweetie, you’re not in the mob. Just say bribe.

GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!

Anyway, let’s move along to Kevin Murphy, a man who worked with Johnny for 8 years and had to deal with a lot of Scum’s shit.

Here we have Johnny telling a member of his staff about the physical abuse he was being subjected to - why didn’t Scum do the same and tell members of her team? Oh right, because it never happened to her.

Kevin was very involved with all of the dog smuggling bullshit and it became a personal matter for him. All of this could’ve been avoided... If not for Scum’s selfishness.

She threatened him and his job and then tried to place all of the legal blame of the smuggling onto him.

Again, I wanted to touch on Scum’s use of alcohol and even drugs. I wanted to be fair to Scum in this, maybe she was using Provigil under a prescription, just like Johnny and his Roxicodone. So I did some digging and I found that yes, Provigil does require a prescription.

But, from what I could gather from my reading, you can get some over the counter substitutes that have a lower dosage.

But no.2, I found a website where you can purchase Provigil.

I took the liberty of adding it to a cart and selecting checkout. I took all of the steps up to the point where I’d have to pay and guess what? Not once was I asked to provide any details of a GP or of a prescription.

Again, to be fair to Scum, I checked to see if you could also get Roxicodone on this website and guess what?

No, no you can’t.

I don’t intend for this to be taken as conclusive evidence in any way, but it was something that I found interesting.

I really wish they had gotten it DNA tested.

Scum told three different versions of this shit in the bed story-

shit? What shit? There wasn’t any shit in the bed

Yeah, lol, there was shit in the bed, just a harmless prank, got ‘im!

It was the dogs the whole time

And then she projects onto Kevin the fact that she lied, because that’s what she loves to do. She takes her own behaviour and applies it to other people to get them in trouble. This indicates to me that she knows her actions are wrong, but I guess she just thinks she can always find a way to get out of it.

Is she a child? Is she an actual infant? Is she a fucking child?

He had to go and tell 8 other members of their/Johnny’s team to make sure she wouldn’t misbehave and then she went and did it anyway! Is she a child?! It’s like she’s a fucking kid who the Dad has to tell the babysitter that ‘no, she isn’t usually allowed candy, please don’t give her any’ and then the babysitter catches her with a stash of candy anyway! It’s pathetic!

Johnny didn’t want the dogs to come at all and yet, he’s the one who bore most of the brunt over here in the media. And still does, if you refer to this incident, it’s not her dogs, it’s Johnny Depp and his dogs that he snuck in to the country that pissed off the government.

She had this man believing he was going to lose his job because he was trying to correct a legal wrong that she had knowingly committed.

And here she is making a joke about it, on her own fucking Instagram. She had someone take that photo, typed out the caption and decided: ‘yep, this is something I can stand behind, this is fine, this is great content’ and posted it to the world.

Here we go again with another example of that sociopathic behaviour, with her showing a complete lack of remorse and a lack of empathy over the damage this did to the other people involved.

I hope this has helped to provide a greater insight into the type of person Scum is, how manipulative, ruthless and uncaring she is to any/all of the people around her when she’s in pursuit of a goal. I also hope this has helped to shed more light on Scum and her habits with alcohol and pills, which she doesn’t want you to know about, of course. It’s kinda hard for her to consistently call Johnny an addict when she clearly cracks into the goon sack a fair amount herself.

#justice for johnny depp #Johnny Depp #johnny depp is innocent #i stand with johnny depp #johnny depp is a survivor #Amber Heard #get amber heard fired #anti amber heard #amber heard is scum #amber heard is an abuser #amber heard is a liar #johnny depp vs the sun #johnny depp vs dan wootton #i read through the court documents so you don't have to

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p-eppermintea · 4 years

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Break

AO3 LINK

Pairing: Erwin Smith / Levi Ackerman (Eruri) Characters: Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, Mike Zacharias, Furlan Church, Isabel Magnolia Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Warnings: N/A Word Count: 2527 Tags: Enemies, Levi hates Erwin so much lol, mild violence, Erwin kinda sucks, Very slightly implied sub/dom dynamic, only slightly, Set during No Regrets Excerpt / Summary:

“But if I have to beat you into submission, I will. I don’t care who sees, or what they think.” He looks up at Levi, all eyelashes and thick eyebrows. “I will break you.”

The sharp smack of the back of Erwin’s hand connecting with Levi’s cheek resonates throughout the stables. He hits him so hard that Levi is knocked off his feet, sprawling awkwardly across the dirt. He whirls around to look at Erwin, baring his teeth. “Fuck you!” he spits.

Erwin stalks towards him. His hands are balled up into fists at his sides – ready and deadly like any other weapon. “You need to learn some manners.”

“Fuck you,” Levi repeats. His insult is met by a swift hit to the side of his head by Erwin’s shin. He falls back, his head connecting hard against the ground. He can hear a collective gasp from the other trainees, and Furlan and Isabel shouting his name.

Levi barely has time to spit onto the ground before Erwin swoops down to grab him by the collar of his uniform and yank him up to his feet. He holds him just above the ground like a mother cat carrying her young around by the scruff.

Levi bares his teeth at the man, kicking out at him with his legs. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s convinced that Erwin just likes to take any chance to smack him around like a punching bag. All Levi did was be a little rude to his training officer. It’s not like he even really wants to be here. Perhaps Erwin is trying to prove something, although Levi’s not sure what or to whom. Is he concerned about his position within the Corps? Or perhaps he just does it for fun. Perhaps he just hates me.

Levi wanted to kill Erwin before, but now he really wants to kill him. If it wasn’t practically a death wish, he would take him on right here, right now.

But no. He’ll wait. He’s going to take his time killing Erwin Smith, and he’s going to enjoy it.

Erwin and Levi stare each other down; fierce grey eyes meeting piercing blue. The tension is palpable, and no one says a word or so much as twitches until, finally, Erwin throws Levi back down. Levi stumbles a little, trying to regain his balance. He balls up his fists, fingernails digging almost-painfully into his palms. They continue to stare.

It’s not like Levi can exactly fight back and give it all he’s got right now. Surely not with Mike right behind him, constantly sniffing up Erwin’s ass like some kind of lapdog. He thinks back to Mike’s hand forcing his head into that disgusting puddle. Maybe he’ll make him watch Erwin die, and then kill him after, too.

Erwin’s thick eyebrows furrow. The disdain in his gaze is obvious. “I expect you in my office after training,” he says, and then he turns on the heel of his boot and retreats back towards the office building. Mike follows closely behind, throwing a “Get back to it!” over his shoulder.

As soon as Erwin is completely out of sight, Isabel and Furlan run up to Levi, ready to make a fuss. Levi shrugs them off, though. He’s far too pissed off to even talk to his friends right now. He goes back to his horse and reaches up to stroke the side of her neck. Stay calm. Don’t ruin everything you’ve been working up to.

While everyone else heads to the mess hall for dinner, Levi makes his way to Erwin’s office. Isabel had given him a sad look and promised to save him some of her dinner. Such bullshit that he has to miss out for whatever ridiculousness Erwin has planned. He knocks heavily on the door and waits outside with his hands clasped behind his back. He knows Erwin is in there – he can hear him talking on the other side of the door. He’s left to wait outside for far too long for his liking. He starts to pace outside of the office, painfully impatient.

He’s about to give up and just leave, reluctance obedience be damned, when the door swings open and he’s finally face to face with Erwin. “Levi,” he says, stepping aside. “Come in.”

Levi supresses an annoyed grumble and steps inside the threshold of Erwin’s office. It’s a rather spacious office, almost impressively so. There are a couple of chairs in front of a desk, and a God-ugly rug spread on the wooden floorboards. Mike is leaning against a bookshelf with his arms crossed. The sneer he gives Levi is almost laughable to him.

Erwin strides swiftly past Levi and back to his desk, sitting down at the chair. He folds his hands in front of him neatly and they both stare each other down in silence. Slowly, one of Erwin’s eyebrows lifts. What the fuck does he want from me?

They stare at each other for a while. It’s like some sort of weird standoff. Levi refuses to be the first one to act. As it seems, so does Erwin.

Finally, Mike sighs heavily. “Salute, trainee,” he snaps.

Begrudgingly, Levi stands up straight and slaps his fist against his chest. “Sir,” he says, simply.

Erwin leans back in his chair, crossing his legs on the way. “Levi,” he replies, just as curtly. He has this strange sort of coolness to him. His devil-may-care attitude is downright unappealing, but Levi guesses that’s probably the exact reason why so many people trust him as a captain. Half of the idiots here would die for him in a heartbeat, and it makes Levi sick.

“At ease, Levi,” Erwin commands. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Levi, and he’s half convinced that he doesn’t even blink. Is he trying to be intimidating? “Mike, you can leave us alone.”

Mike leaves without a word, but Levi can feel his glare boring a hole into his back. Glare away, asshole.

Erwin is silent until the door closes behind Mike. He gestures in front of him. “Sit.”

Levi obeys. The chair creaks under his weight, but it’s sturdy. He’s determined to remain non-committal and as distant as possible, but he tosses up between obedience and just being downright rude.

“You need to learn to trust me, Levi.”

“What reason do I have to trust you?” Levi challenges. He guesses he’ll go for something in-between. He slips down into his chair and brings one foot up to rest on the seat. Finally comfortable, he tilts his head back. “What choice do I have, even?”

Erwin huffs out a laugh. “I suppose you don’t really have a choice,” he agrees. He leans forwards, serious. “Trust the Survey Corps – and more importantly, me – or spend the rest of your life imprisoned.”

“I wonder which would be worse.”

Erwin laughs for real at that, leaning back again. “A true dilemma, indeed,” he says. “We all end up the same in the end. Why not use your incredible talents for the good of humanity?”

Levi stays silent. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit of a thrill from being a member of the Survey Corps. Even after getting his citizenship – and, providing that he doesn’t get caught or prosecuted for killing Erwin – he sometimes thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay. He has way more potential than anyone else in the Corps, that’s for sure.

It’s nice to feel useful and powerful. He supposes that’s why his life underground felt generally fulfilling to him.

“You’re talented, Levi. More so than anyone else here,” Erwin tells him. “I know this, and you haven’t even faced a real titan yet. I really hope that you can learn to trust me. I know that it won’t happen overnight, but I do know that we will make a great team someday.”

Levi furrows his brows. “You want me to trust you,” he says slowly, “and yet you kick me around in front of everyone.”

“Above all else, you need to learn obedience.” Erwin says it like it’s obvious. “Don’t you think that the best way to teach someone obedience to beat it into them?” He pauses, looking up and directly into Levi’s eyes. “Especially when they’re as difficult as you.”

“You’re sadistic,” Levi hisses.

“That, I am.”

In that moment, there’s a tentative knock at the door. Erwin makes a delighted sound and stands up. “Come in,” he calls.

A small trainee with blonde hair opens the door and peeks her head in. “Um, I brought your dinner for you, Mr. Smith, sir,” she says timidly.

“Excellent.” Erwin approaches her and takes a platter out of her hands. “Thank you.”

She salutes and leaves without a word. The military has always creeped Levi out. He wonders what Erwin has done to earn her salute and her trust.

Erwin sets a shitty metal plate holding a bowl of soup, a small loaf of bread, and a couple of steamed potatoes in front of Levi. “Eat with me,” he requests. Or, it sounds like a request, but Levi knows it’s an order. He sets his own dinner down at his side of the desk and sits back down. He passes Levi a knife, fork, and spoon.

Levi regards the cutlery. The knife is blunt and essentially useless. He flicks his gaze back up to Erwin, who is already digging into his bread and soup. Could he kill him right here, right now? Just leap over the desk and jab the fork into his neck.

He’d probably be killed on the spot if he even tried and failed. Or, maybe not. Erwin seems like the kind of sick fuck who would still try to keep him around, anyway. For the sake of humanity. That’s always been his reasoning for wanting Levi to work under him.

Levi may hate his guts, but at least his intentions seem decent enough. It’s almost a shame.

Although, he’s not sure what the consequences of killing Erwin could be. There’s no one like him, that’s for sure. Everyone says that Erwin’s tactical abilities are some of the best, and he’s a natural-born leader. They all seem to think that Erwin is humanity’s only hope right now. And maybe under different circumstances, Levi might, too.

Ripping into his bread, Levi shakes the thought out of his head. Isabel and Furlan’s citizenships and wellbeing are more important to him than Erwin’s life ever will be. They’re his family. They will always come first, and they deserve a comfortable life on the surface.

Erwin and Levi eat quietly, and a little awkwardly. While Levi is avoiding eye contact, he takes a look around the office. It’s nice, he guesses, but fuck. He can see the dust in the air, and he doesn’t even want to think about the possible disarray inside Erwin’s desk drawers. If he wasn’t so starving, he would be completely put off his dinner.

When he looks back at Erwin, he’s looking right at him. It’s downright creepy, but if that’s how he wants to do thing, Levi is more than happy to oblige. He stuffs bread into his mouth and stares right back at him. What is he looking at? If he’s expecting Levi to say something, then he’s sorely mistaken. He’ll sit there and stare at him all night if he has to. He’ll never deny that he isn’t a stubborn man.

If Erwin is going to lead Levi straight to his death, then he’s not going to just let it happen without a fight.

Erwin knows this.

Erwin puts his spoon down softly in his half empty soup bowl. “Do you want to know what I think?”

Levi takes a bite out of one of his potatoes. “Not really,” he says, chewing while he talks. It’s gross and rude, but he’ll do anything to cement the fact that he won’t completely submit to Erwin – even in petty shit like this.

Erwin goes on anyway. “I think you’re smarter than everyone thinks you are. And you’re better than everyone thinks you are, too,” he tells him. “You’re better than those two friends of yours, who will only hold you back.” Levi bristles at that and opens his mouth to snap back at him, but Erwin quickly continues. “And maybe you’re even too good for me.”

He leans forwards, fire and determination in his eyes. “But I’m your only option for survival right now. You’re just too much work for anyone else to want to deal with, even if you are unbelievably skilled.”

Levi scoffs. He really is full of back-and-forths. How exhausting. “Am I supposed to be flattered or insulted?”

“I don’t care. You really have no choice, so I’m not interested in flattery. Or insults, for that matter.” Erwin folds his arms. “But if I have to beat you into submission, I will. I don’t care who sees, or what they think.” He looks up at Levi, all eyelashes and thick eyebrows. “I will break you.”

Levi can’t help but shudder at that. For some reason, he completely believes him. He won’t give up so easily, but he is certain that Erwin will do whatever it takes to make sure he submits. He stays silent at that and finishes off his final potato. A tiny voice in the back of his mind wonders if perhaps it wouldn’t be too bad to submit completely to Erwin. Almost cringing, Levi shoves that voice further back. Absolutely not.

Erwin, satisfied at Levi’s reaction (or lack thereof), goes back to eating like nothing happened. Levi slowly puts his cutlery back on the plate.

For some reason, and for the first, Erwin’s words are affecting him. I will break you. He’s already broken – it’s hard not to be, with the life he’s had – but Erwin will find a way to break him even more, eventually, and he has no doubts about that. It’s unnerving.

Levi decides that while Erwin Smith might be all charisma, piercing blue eyes, and jawlines; he’s also evil. That’s probably why he’s made it this far.

“Are we done?” Levi asks.

“Sure,” Erwin replies. He sets his cutlery down. “I expect you back here first thing in the morning, though. We have a lot of work to do.”

Supressing the urge to roll his eyes, Levi nods and stands up. “Yes, sir.” He salutes half heartedly and turns to leave swiftly. He sees a hint of Erwin’s smile.

Once the door is shut behind him, Levi heaves a sigh. He takes his time walking back to the barracks, mulling everything over.

On one hand, Erwin Smith is his ticket to a comfortable life within the walls. If he just gets his job done, he can disappear with Furlan and Isabel. Open a tea shop or something, and finally live comfortably.

But on the other hand…

Some part of him sees potential in Erwin and their proposed partnership; and an even sicker part of him is already starting to respect him, in some way. He may be a lot of things (annoying, relentless to the point where it’s almost pathetic, and incredibly fake), but he’s certainly ambitious. Rightfully so, as well.

I will break you.

A voice inside of Levi hisses; not if I break you first.

#eruri #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #erwin smith #levi ackerman #eruri fic #eruri fanfiction #fanfiction

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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RWBY Recap: “Cordially Invited”

Only a week late, folks! Can’t say I’m surprised, what with the holidays underway and my normal schedule all topsy-turvy. Still, at least now there’s a little something to fill the RWBY-less hole this Saturday. Always a silver lining.

We begin the episode with our group discussing their upcoming dinner---Oscar included! We’re off to a great start. We learn that Jacques supposedly just wants to “break bread and hash things out,” but anyone with two brain cells to function together know that’s a load of BS. What frustrates me is Ruby’s attempts to spin this as a good thing because they supposedly want Ironwood to start “opening up” to “these people.” Yeah... there’s so much wrong with that. Normally Ruby’s optimism is one of the personality traits I love most about her, but lately that optimism has been twisted into naivety at best, that pro-protagonist perspective at worst. We saw this in Volume Six where the optimistic “We’ll find some way into Atlas!” became an attack on Argus. Now, Ruby’s “Maybe this won’t be so bad!” is functionally an attack on Ironwood. The responsibility lies with him to achieve that good outcome: he needs to open up to the horrendously corrupt abuser that Weiss at least suspects might be involved with Salem. Note that Ruby doesn’t extend those same expectations to herself and her team. She doesn’t claim that they all should “open up” to Jacques in the name of crafting better relations. No, she immediately jumps to having Weiss spy on him in order to get ahead in the game. For the record, I don’t give a damn if the group commits “bad” actions against Jacques (more on that below) because again, Jacques is an evil, corrupt abuser. Rather, it’s just that continuing issue of hypocrisy. Ruby expects Ironwood to “open up” to him and make peace over dinner, but only expects herself and her friends to give him what’s for. Insert [Ozpin and Ironwood must never keep secrets or tell lies, but we’re allowed to] here. Same song, different tune.

Oscar at least points out how idiotic that perspective is from a practical perspective. He doesn’t call Ruby out on the expectation that Ironwood make nice with the man they want to keep Weiss five billion feet away from, but he does acknowledge that such expectations can’t be fulfilled at this time in this place. Jacques has tailored this dinner to benefit him and him alone. He will control the conversation, so good luck getting around that.

Weiss: “I think my dad would do whatever it takes to win.”

Ruby: “And we should do the same.”

Granted, “whatever it takes” comes to mean spilling some food which obviously is in no way comparable to Jacques’ entire existence. The viewer doesn’t know that’s coming though. When we first hear them, these lines are another nod to the closing gap between the “heroes” and the “villains”---whether we’re defining a “villain” as someone like Jacques or someone like Ozpin. The theme is there. The group is willfully adopting the same choices as those they oppose. If Ozpin is going to lie to us then we’ll lie to Ironwood. If Jacques is going to do whatever it takes then so will we. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As I’ve mentioned in non-recap metas, RWBY has now created a harsh world where by-the-book heroics will only hurt you in the end. If Ozpin had never kept secrets I don’t believe he would have achieved that extraordinary time of peace. If Blake and Yang hadn’t killed Adam they still would have a murderous abuser stalking them. We clearly have a story where the concept of a lesser evil exists...it’s just that we’re continually turning around to insist that the group is somehow better than everyone else for also doing what they have to to survive.

Which brings me to the fact that if Blake and Yang told everyone else about Robyn, we get not indication of that here. The only nod to last episode’s huge decision was Robyn’s shock that Jacques doesn’t already know what the Amity tower is for, but she’s cut off before she can reveal anything in front of Ironwood. So until proven otherwise... here’s another secret. Not just from an adult in a position of authority, but from the rest of the team as well. Given that Blake hid her faunus status and time in the White Fang, Yang continues to hide her knowledge of the Spring Maiden, both of them are helping to keep at least three major secrets from Ironwood, and are now keeping the Robyn secret from everyone else... no leg to stand on. Not to be dramatic on main, but if either of them ever pulls another, “How dare you keep secrets?!” I’m gonna go absolutely feral lol.

Anyway, back to the plot.

There are no new models of the group in fancy dinner clothes. I in no way had my hopes up for that, but it was fun seeing the posts theorizing about it and I can understand others’ disappointment. That definitely would have been a nice surprise, if an insane amount of work for what amounts to ten minutes of screen time.

Instead everyone just shows up in their normal gear and we get a telling exchange between Ironwood and Winter where she informs him he’d have to pay her to smile. I’m really glad she got a lot of attention this episode, both because we expect as much with her returning to the Schnee manor and because, if she’s going to become the next Winter Maiden, we really need to develop her character some. Even just setting up that she might become a Maiden demands that Winter be more than just Ironwood’s second hand and Wiess’ big sis. Who is she on her own? We start getting a glimpse of that here.

Before her outburst though, the group arrives en masse looking like a small army knocking on Jacques’ door. They’re greeted by Whitley who comments on that, asking Ironwood how large he thinks their dining room table is. Absolutely humongous, obviously. Not really the point though. This is clearly Rooster Teeth poking fun at their own massive cast, which would be more enjoyable if the number of characters didn’t constantly hinder the story. Personally, I’d prefer that they actually tackle underdeveloped or mostly dropped characters (like Maria) rather than just joking about it, but anyone keeping up with these recaps already knows that. If we’re not going to get a better structured story I’ll take some jokes here and there. Laugh about it when you can.

Although, I will say that Rooster Teeth does a good job with a minor character here, namely Klein. Whitley makes a dig at Weiss over how he was let go. Wonder how that could have happened. Klein, to my mind at least, was always meant to be a one shot sort of deal. He was introduced to help Weiss escape and once he’d achieved that was no longer useful to the story. It makes sense that we left him behind, but it’s nevertheless wonderful to get a bit of closure. Sad closure, but closure nonetheless. Now, if Rooster Teeth wants to keep him out of the picture we technically have a complete story. We know who Klein was, what he did, and what happened to him in the aftermath. Yet by keeping him alive and away from the Schnees, there’s always the potential that we’ll run into him again someday. I’m quite satisfied with that balance. It’s much better than what I was expecting, namely for Weiss to return home and conveniently not run into him because that would complicate things. Here we’re given an in-character explanation for his absence. Of course Jacques would fire him.

Finally, in the realm of massive casts and character development, I’ve got to admit that I’m disappointing with Penny being there. Simply because it once and for all shatters the hope that this well-executed frame job will amount to anything. If she’s attending a dinner with Jacques Schnee then things are fine. I said that I wasn’t convinced of this “Penny might be deactivated!” consequence before and I’m definitely not convinced of it now. Theoretically another consequence could have been Ironwood losing his council position, but we don’t see that either. Jacques references Ironwood’s inability to catch whoever hacked them at Beacon and his inability to catch whoever attacked Robyn’s supporters as reasons for being untrustworthy, both of which stand without the frame job. It’s incidental. Tyrian could have just killed everyone as Tyrian and it would have had the exact same effect. All the framing has done is make Penny sad (which hasn’t led to any development yet) and get Pietro to spill the beans about her aura (which could have happened in a thousand other ways). I was so pleased at this setup and the ingenuity of the villains, wondering what sort of impact this framing would have, but now we see the impact is minimal at best. If you frame a character for murder but have no other major character questioning their guilt and they’re out in public two episodes later... what was the point of the framing? Penny’s presence here is disappointing. Not because I don’t love Penny, but simply because of more missed opportunities. At this point I’m wondering why they bothered to bring her back at all. We’re not going to have Ruby grapple with the resurrection of her friend. We’re not going to deal with Penny taking the heat for Tyrian’s murders... Why is she here?

Also, not to distract from these important questions but... that.

That.

Friends, I cannot quite convey how confused I was at first. This is obviously supposed to be akin to the Jaguar ornament but... that’s a raptor, right? Have we seen raptor-type grimm? Am I missing something?? Yes, yes I am. Turns out RWBY Rex is a thing I never knew about and I can now only assume this is another Easter egg. Either that or I’m still missing something. Which is always possible. Either way it made me laugh.

The group heads inside and then splits, Ironwood, Clover, Winter, and Penny going into the dining area. Clover makes a quip about needing luck and Qrow points out that he’s already been invited. I can easily see why so many people are shipping them, but as a hardcore ozqrow shipper myself I’m already biased to view this as friendship. Maybe if we see more of Clover and he doesn’t die like everyone thinks he will I’ll find space in my heart for a dual ship. Either way it’s sweet. As much as I’d like Qrow to acknowledge the best friend he already has two feet away in the body of a kid he hasn’t treated particularly well, I’m nevertheless here for Qrow having healthy and supportive relationships.

We also get to see him refusing a glass of wine. Thank you! Again, it’s pretty late in the game to introduce this and we’re still given no insight into why Qrow is willing to battle his addiction now when he’s succumbed to it for most of his life, but at least they’re maintaining the work needed to stay sober. Qrow politely refuses the offer (from a faunus waiter. No surprise there given Jacques’ racism) and removes himself from temptation by offering to patrol the grounds. Very nicely done. The other Ace Ops join him, warning the newbie huntsmen not to wander off, not to break anything, and make sure you’re available if Ironwood needs you.

To which Yang provides the counter point that they should wander off, they should break things, and all the rest. Jaune later says, “What was that about breaking things?” Admittedly, these lines originally rankled. Because as much as Jacques deserves all the snooping and breaking our team can dish out, I maintain the position that they need to act more responsibly, especially now that they’re officially on the job. We’ve already got Blake and Yang deciding to go behind their bosses’ back. We don’t need them aggravating a situation when they’re the ones who want Ironwood to do that “opening up.” Jacques controlling the situation aside, Ironwood is even less likely to make headway if his guests are off causing trouble.

Which is why I’m so thrilled they didn’t. I’ll be blunt and say straight out that this was a fantastic way to do things. They’re allowed to get food. Nothing wrong with that. We already know Nora is a big eater and tends to be impulsive. If she just happens to pile a plate crazy high, it just happens to hit another guest, and she just happens to douse Whitley in wine? Well... who could have seen that coming? It’s a way of causing mayhem without endangering others or their mission. It achieves the one very specific thing they need: give Weiss an opening to sneak off. No one went overboard. No one else actually snuck off to break things. It was an all around smart plan. Unlike the group attacking Cordovin or Weiss dumping a racist in the trash when they’re supposed to keep a low profile, this is the kind of decision making I can get behind. Something that demonstrates the maturity the group continues to insist they have alongside keeping their playful personalities.

Also, just look at Ren’s smile. That might be the first smile we’ve gotten from him all season. That’s a blessed image, right up there with Oscar stealing hors d'oeuvres the second he walks through the door. Our farm boy is hungry and he’s going to milk Jacques’ wealth for all it’s worth.

The other thing this scene gives us---besides the joyous image of Whitley drenched in wine and Weiss’ amusement over it---is the split screen technique. On the whole I think Rooster Teeth chucks this in too often. There have been many times since the beginning of Volume Six, especially during fight scenes, where the split screen doesn’t feel necessary to me and is even at times quite distracting. Here though? I think it works. The split screen montage used to show the many people involved in, say, a heist is a pretty common technique and it adds another spot of humor to this situation. They’re plotting and executing their food spill with all the sincerity of a bank robbery. I’m here for that.

As Weiss heads upstairs we turn our attention to the meeting with Jacques. It goes about as well as anyone expects. A lot happens in that short span of time though. Robyn sarcastically points out that she should just be happy to have been “invited to the table” and though there’s another black woman across from her, it stands out to me that Robyn, a comparatively dark skinned woman to the rest of the group, says this while the shot poises her between two very white, powerful men. Even the phrase “invited to the table” has gender and racial implications for the audience watching, outside of Robyn’s in-world characterization as a Robin Hood type focused on class. Going off of these themes, we also hear Ironwood reassuring Jacques of their safety by claiming that “Penny is completely under my control.” This, hands down, is the worst thing I’ve seen Ironwood do this volume. Sure, things like the embargo and the supplies have objectively worse consequences, but the story has done a lot to demonstrate the “greater good” justifications behind those choices. We might not agree with Ironwood, but we’re supposed to understand that (until proven otherwise) he has good motivations. Here? That comment is pretty horrible. Ironwood refers to Penny as if she’s a weapon or a tool, a young woman who he believes he literally has control over. It’s a fascinating look into his perspective and a pretty logical one as well. Here’s a man who has put so much faith in his technology, from amassing an army to protect his kingdom to relying on prosthetics to get around. He asked his team to create a new security measure and they did... they just happened to create a person along with it. I’m not sure Ironwood fully understands that yet. He trusts Penny enough to bring her into his own inner circle, but he likewise thinks he can manage her like he would a gun or a vehicle, dictating whether she has friends and announcing that she is under his control. I hope that this is something the writing explores and helps Ironwood work through, rather than just letting it sit as generic evidence that he’s a bad (as opposed to flawed) person. I think Ironwood would realize his mistake and work to correct it if someone pointed out the issue, in the same way we’ve seen him considering, settling, and agreeing with the issues the group has seen fit to yell at him lately.

What interests me most about this whole interaction is (shocking) this continued debate regarding secrets and trust. Overall Rooster Teeth has actually succeeded in creating a decently complex situation here. We know that (again, until proven otherwise) Ironwood has only good intentions and we likewise know that Jacques is now connected to Salem. The information the audience has makes us biased. We know who is supposedly good and supposedly bad. At the same time though, the actual issue appears to be removed from that. Jacques’ side---notably expressed through a new character who acts as a more neutral party---points out that from where they stand there’s no reason for this embargo. We know there’s a reason. Ironwood knows there’s a reason. Because we all know about Salem. But the other council members are making entirely reasonable demands given the information they have: why are you continuing to hurt both the people and our relationship with others? What’s the justification? You can’t give us one? Then why in the world would we let you keep doing this? It puts us in the discomforting position of knowing Jacques is an evil slim ball manipulating the conversation while likewise having to admit that his side has a point. You can’t just announce Salem’s existence because that would make things exponentially worse, but keeping her secret has its definite downsides.

Where Jacques’ party doesn’t have a good position is in his insistence that because Ironwood hasn’t caught these various perpetrators he can’t be trusted, equating trust with results. There’s only so many ideas, resources, and luck that can lead you to catching someone like Tyrian. I understand that knee-jerk reaction, the idea that because someone hasn’t succeeded you should replace them with someone you assume will, but in situations like this you only have so much control over the probability of success. Claiming that Ironwood not catching criminals is indicative of an inability to lead is flimsy, but as we’ve seen, Jacques is a manipulator. He tosses these assertions out as if they’re facts. He and the others continually cut Ironwood off, refusing to let him defend himself. It’s not at all surprising that Winter, someone who suffered under his abuse, eventually explodes with, “You can’t just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it.” Winter is someone I’m particularly interested in seeing react to the group’s secret keeping because from her perspective, she and Ironwood have earned the group’s trust a hundred times over. Again, provided the story isn’t hiding something from us and Winter is secretly in on some plot with Ironwood, we’re seeing this volume how she’s done the work her father couldn’t and it still wasn’t enough. Her peers, including her baby sister, still decided they weren’t going to trust her with secrets that are intimately tied up in their current work and choices.

Frustrating moral questions aside, something I really loved about this scene was the character setup and the cinematography. Having Jacques with his two allies on one side, Ironwood mirroring that on the opposite end of the table, and Robyn sitting poised between the two, the audience still unsure whose side she’ll fall on. That aerial shot showing off the distance between them all? Excellent visual storytelling.

We get a quick conversation between Winter and Penny which I don’t have too much to say about. Merely that I love Penny for checking up on Winter and I love Winter for correcting her assumption: I’m not saying you wouldn’t understand because you’re a robot, I’m just saying these problems are very specific to me and being in this place. That was particularly reassuring after Ironwood’s comments. Penny ends the scene by saying she doesn’t understand why Winter wouldn’t want to follow her heart. Perhaps an odd comment coming from someone who almost blindly obeys the orders she’s given even when she doesn’t agree---such as not making more friends---but then, it may well be a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ situation. Just because Penny isn’t sure how to always follow her own heart doesn’t mean she can’t encourage others to do the same.

We return to Weiss who, after getting past a curious server, makes it to her father’s office. I feel like this is the scene people are most invested in, considering that I’ve seen a LOT of posts lately trying to demonize Willow for her comment about Whitley. Here’s what people need to remember about Willow moving forward: she’s as much a victim of abuse as Weiss is. She is, presumably, Jacques’ first victim, fully entrenched in his abuse by the time her kids started coming along. As a mother does she have a responsibility to her children? Absolutely, but that doesn’t erase the fact that she’s simultaneously a woman attempting to survive domestic abuse.

(That’s another stunning shot hell yes.)

Initially Weiss takes the side of the posts I’ve seen, painting her mother as someone who made a conscious decision to let the abuse happen---another abuser herself, one out of passiveness. “Some of us are trying to do something about it,” Weiss says, emphasizing that she’s better because she’s doing what her mother never could: fighting back. Ignoring for a moment the highly dubious insistence that abuse victims must simply ‘do something’ about that abuse (it’s not that simple at all), Weiss quickly realizes that she was wrong. Her mother has been doing something, namely setting up hidden cameras around the house for some spying of her own. Why? “For our safety.” To make sure that if Jacques ever goes farther than he already has, Willow will know about it and can take appropriate steps. Is taking precautions against something worse better than leaving a situation that’s already horrific? Of course not, but as said, abuse isn’t just something you can fix. Even if you know it’s happening. This is a woman doing all she can and what someone is capable of in an abusive relationship is based on them and that context, not what others believe is fighting back “enough.”

Willow then reassures everyone, Weiss and the audience alike, that she doesn’t expect Weiss to be the family savior.

Willow: “You haven’t come back to stay, have you?” Weiss: “No.” Willow: “Good.”

That first line potentially reads as a plea. We might have gotten a scene where Willow is disappointed that Weiss isn’t coming back because she doesn’t want to face this family alone. While a very human and understandable desire, it’s likewise not okay to expect another abuse survivor to return to their abuser after they’ve gotten out. In that hypothetical scene the fandom would have a basis for going, “No. That’s... not okay.” But we don’t get that. Willow is thrilled that Weiss both got out and has no intention to return. She wants her daughter safe. That parental instinct outweighs any selfish, human desire to not suffer this situation alone.

Keep the above point in mind when we read the line, “No matter what happens, Weiss, please don’t forget about your brother.” Willow isn’t telling Weiss to return to the house and save him. She’s not even telling her to forgive him. Just don’t forget him. Remember that he’s not a mini Jacques. He’s another young abuse victim. He’s just like you. When we look at the family dynamic it’s clear that in some ways Weiss had a leg up from her brother that helped her get out. Namely, she had Winter. They’re the ones who are close among the siblings and thus Weiss had a role model to follow. Winter, however she managed it, got out and forged her own path. We then see throughout the series how closely Weiss emulates that, from going into combat herself and having Winter train her. The two actions---fighting and escape---are connected in Weiss’ Volume 5 short. Winter tells her that if she wants to get out she has to get better. That’s your route.

In contrast, Whitley has shown no interest in combat and thus doesn’t have that path to emulate. He’s not a girl and is thus automatically treated as the next Jacques, not the next Winter or even Willow. Most importantly, Whitley doesn’t have a close relationship with an older sibling to guide him.

That’s all Willow is asking of Weiss: be for Whitley what Winter was to you. Don’t forget about him. Don’t pretend he doesn’t exist. Don’t fall into the lie Whitley himself believes, that he’s set to be the next Jacques. He’s really an abused 14-15 year old who has suffered through everything we have. So if there ever comes a time where Whitley falters in this belief or you’re given an opening... please treat him like your brother, not your father.

I think that’s a perfectly reasonable thing for a mother to ask and we can easily see via Weiss’ expression that she’s coming to all these realizations too.

“Of course [Whitley doesn’t want anything to do with you.] You left him alone. With us.” That’s not an accusation, it’s a fact. As established, Willow is happy that Weiss got out, but like with so much in RWBY the best decision doesn’t mean it’s a consequence-free decision. In this case the consequence is that Weiss and Winter left their little brother alone with their abuser. They had to for their own mental health and their safety, but they nevertheless did it. So if there ever comes a time when they can help alleviate that consequence, please do.

It likewise doesn’t escape my notice that, again, Whitley is a guy. Just like the fandom was unwilling to accept Ozpin as an abuse victim, people seem hesitant to accept Whitley as an abuse victim either. From what I’ve seen (and there are admittedly always exceptions) Whitley’s shitty behavior hasn’t gotten an a fraction of the sympathy Weiss’ shitty Volume 1-3 behavior got. They’re three years apart at most. If Weiss is a victim then so is her little brother. Don’t let the Jacques’ genetics and learned behavior fool you.

Finally, we end on Watts. The man who continues to be THE most dramatic bitch in this entire series.

We watch as he shuts down the system keeping Mantle warm. Rather than rain, snow starts to fall. Whether this will be just another generic thing going wrong to make the people angry and Ironwood seem incompetent, or whether there’s a more dangerous downside here (we did hear from Weiss about the deadly temperatures...) remains to be seen.

And that’s it. You know, I think that’s the first time in nearly two volumes where I ultimately had more good things to say about an episode than bad. It’s a holiday miracle!

Until next Saturday ;)

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #rwby recaps

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theshinsun · 4 years

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4, 5, 7, 10, 13, 15, 16, 17, 23, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 39, 40, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 59, 60 [Which do you prefer between Knb and Haikyuu?] for the ask you recently reblogged please?

4. what are you looking forward to?

I'm looking forward to school starting again, even if it's just a weird hybrid of online/flipped classes, I miss my teachers and like, being productive. also if I'm in class I can't be worked borderline inhumane hours right…. right??

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

yeah, my roommate. she always either knows how to cheer me up, or blunders around trying to find the right method to the point that it's funny and I end up smiling anyway. she's really awesome like that.

7. what was your life like last year?

it had a lot of ups and downs. I had a great job, but the people I worked with eventually made it toxic and awful. I was doing really well in school, but stressed all the time, had an awesome relationship but kind of ruined it w my anxiety, and had serious roommate issues that made me afraid to leave my bedroom or even come home, sometimes. I remember a lot of very high highs and very low lows especially in the fall/winter of that year.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

well, yes and no… I don't tend to show a lot of emotion to begin with, but what I do show, I'm basically incapable of hiding, and apparently I'm a terrible liar bc my face gives me away.

13. how do you feel right now?

I'm pretty alright… kind of anxious, kind of tired, but that's just been the status quo lately tbh.

15. personality description

already answered, so I suppose I'll elaborate. I'm simultaneously like, the most confident and the most self-doubting person I know... like there are certain things I'm super certain of and times when I feel no shame, and there are others where I'll just shrivel into a ball of anxiety and mortification and never come out. in the same vein, I'm simultaneously very trusting and open and very wary and cautious with people… it really depends on the situation and the person I think, I'm a very "you get out what you put in" person.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

yeah, I’m still holding onto things I’ve wanted to tell certain people tbh… I used to be a lot more forthcoming and not worry about the consequences of what I had to say, but now that I’ve seen what power words have to ruin relationships and impact people I tend to hold back quite a bit.

17. opinion on insecurities

I have… many, but I understand that I shouldn't and am working on the ones I do have. I think feeling insecure can lead to some of the most ugly, toxic emotions and responses in certain people, so I'm trying to be conscientious of that.

23. fear(s)

um let’s see… jump scares, the dark (sometimes), corners I can’t see around, drowning/suffocating, pain, failure, losing control...

27. things I hate

wet socks, sunburn, acne, willful ignorance, bigotry, excessively negative people… uh… idk hate's a strong word that's all I've got

28. I'll love you if…

if you are genuinely, authentically yourself. if you’re the kind of person I can feel comfortable and at ease with. if you show me patience and compassion and make an effort to know me and let me know you… then yeah you’re never getting rid of me.

29. favorite film(s)

The Road to El Dorado, Into the Spider-verse, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spirit, Life of Pi, The Truman Show, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

30. favorite tv show(s)

Haikyuu!!, Kuroko no Basuke, Avatar, Bojack Horseman, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Beastars, Dragonball Z

31. 3 random facts

already answered so here's three more

1. lately I've been carrying a fanny pack with the trans flag (there's an unfortunate but very tempting pun in there) and it's still got the security tag bc they forgot to take it off in the store so now every time I walk through the doorway to like, a drug store, I set off the alarm. I would get it taken off but it was sent to me from Chicago lol.

2. I've got a lot of outdoorsy skills bc of my gym class in high school, like rock climbing, kayaking, building fire, etc. I'm not super adventurous in my daily life but while I was in that class, I did all kinds of things.

3. for awhile I worked at a cat cafe, and helped take care of the 12-15 rescue cats we'd have there at any given time. I stand by that it was the best job I've ever had, but the people I worked with, not so much.

33. something you want to learn

I really want to learn to skateboard or surf. it's been a dream for a long time and I have (suspiciously acquired) both, but my balance is shit and I have no patience for new skills lately, so...

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

already answered so here's three more

1. someday I want to have a pickup truck, I've been looking at, like, bright orange Tacomas and stuff, but of course I'd need a license to be able to drive one

2. I'd like to have a garden again, or maybe have a plot in a community garden. I've been growing nasturtiums and things on my balcony while in school but it's not quite the same

3. still waiting on the day I can get top surgery tbh. I just… want to be able to be shirtless at the beach and wear tank tops with nothing underneath, okay?

39. favorite sport(s)

ahahahaha… favorite sport you say. to play or to watch? 'cause I generally don't like to do either, tho I do like watching the folks who play volleyball on the beach. and considering one of my favorite shows is about volleyball and it was the sport I sucked at the least in school, maybe we’ll go with volleyball? but in general I’m not a sports person.

40. favorite memory

I have a vague memory… of helping my mom in the garden of my old house when I was a little kid, mostly just digging in the dirt in the spring and being outside with my family… it's not very clear or specific but I think those days were some of the happiest of my life.

52. something I'm talented at

I'm good at learning the lyrics to songs, I've got over 1000 downloaded in my spotify library and I'm pretty sure I know the words to at least most of them. in a similar vein I'm good at learning the scripts to movies, and just… memorizing things in general especially audio.

53. 5 things that make me happy

already answered so here's some more!

1. songs with a light, strummy acoustic feel and creative lyrics… I've got a whole playlist for that vibe there's just something about songs like that that make me really calm

2. I really like being hugged or cuddled by my friends, just being in close proximity and hanging all over each other, makes me all warm and fuzzy inside tbh

3. I love driving with the windows down (I can't drive so I mean riding passenger lol), especially in the canyon by my house, through the forest and by the beach.

54. something that's worrying me at the moment

I’m so afraid things won’t go back to the way they were. ...that applies to multiple aspects of my life, not just with this pandemic but school, work, friends, relationships… it seems like I’m always chasing the past and dreading the future, so much that I can’t ever be satisfied in the present moment, and that’s something that’s been on my mind a lot.

55. tumblr friends

@hadenxcharm, @spaztictwitch, @kurokonobaka, @taigainside, @hybristophilica and you could be too! all you gotta do is message me tbh I'm easy

56. favorite food(s)

strawberry cheesecake, fried shrimp, key lime pie, tuna steak

59. why I joined tumblr

I joined in 2012 bc my friends told me to, had a brief recession where I didn't use it at all, and a pretty lengthy sidetrack through the RP community, and then I came back bc of the friends I'd made here, and the unique-ness of the platform that I kinda can't find anywhere else. I'm stuck here just like the rest of y'all.

60. ask me anything you want (which do you prefer between KNB and Haikyuu?)

now this is a tough one… bc I really love them both a lot, and tbh in terms of quality of writing, art/animation, thematic music, character development and general story, I think Haikyuu!! has KNB beat, buuuuuut…. in spite of its flaws, I have such a soft spot for KNB and I keep coming back to it over and over again even as it falls into relative obscurity. It's the only thing I write for anymore and I'm still, somehow, utterly obsessed with the characters I first fell in love with over five years ago. KNB has problems, for sure, but the things it gets right (like setting a mood, strong emotional beats and character relationships) it knocks out of the park. I don't know if I could ever choose one over the other in terms of like, "you can only read/watch one of these and have to give up the other forever", but in terms of which has had the biggest impact, and still hits me the hardest, I'd probably have to go with KNB… but it's not by any means an easy choice.

#shin speaks #answered #sorry this took forever it was... a lot of questions and I've also been working pretty insanely lately #thanks so much for asking!!#<3

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foxtophat · 5 years

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in today’s update, nick and kim discuss why they shouldn’t kill the guy who probably deserves a righteous death-by-asskicking. nick is sort of an over-thinker, which usually puts him in tailspins, but thankfully kim and him have worked out a balance that keeps both of them afloat.

anyway, uh, there’s another chapter that could technically be added to this one but damn it i want to keep an update schedule for at least a few weeks lol. i’m still trying to figure out kim’s voice, a lot of the time i write her and end up pulling a softer fo5 marcy, which is... not accurate at all. so i’m working on her! also, i can’t write children too well so carmina tends to be like “fuck this i’m goin hunting” so oooo that should work out for me.

i hope you enjoy, please consider reblogging if you do! the full text of the chapter is below the cut, in case you don’t wanna go off-site. (yo, if you see a mistake please let me know, i’m pushing this update out before a bunch of errands so i might’ve messed up the formatting or a word or something)

Nick dreads every step he takes back down to the kitchen, but they only have a little while before Grace brings Carmina back. They need to make a plan before then — even if they're not going to kill John Seed, they're going to have to do something with him.

Kim is in the kitchen, taking her anger out on the vegetables she's picked. Nick can imagine his neck snapping as easily as the wimpy little carrots do, swallowing as he steels himself for the hard choices about to come. He'd sworn up and down that he was going to live a simple life from here on out, and yet here he is, bringing trouble in with him like a stray goddamn cat. Not even considering the safety of his family, or the feelings of his wife — or his friends , because what is Grace gonna say about all this? They have to tell her, right? And what about Jerome? Not to mention the other survivors. God — the list of people he's betraying grows by the second!

"Carmina will be back soon," Kim says, breaking another carrot into quarters. "We need to deal with John before then."

Despite her hostile tone, Nick doesn't think she means kill the guy. He hopes she doesn't. Nick will do it , of course — he can't expect Kim to clean up his mess — but he can barely stomach the guilt thinking about it. God, what if she tells him to do it? The man wouldn't even be able to fight back. Nick's never had to kill someone who couldn't fight back .

"Hey," Kim calls out, soft but firm enough to shake him out of his thoughts. "It's going to be okay."

"Yeah, I know," Nick replies, the words spilling out. "Just — I really messed up, Kim, what the hell was I thinking? I saw him lying there, I had my gun in his face and I decided to put us all in danger, because why ? Because I felt sorry for him? I should've done something differently. I should've..."

Kim has this way of smiling that never fails to pull Nick out of even the worst thought spiral. She uses it on him now, tiny crows-feet crinkling beside her eyes as she comes around from the kitchen. "There are a lot of things we could have done differently," she says gently. "We spent six years in a bunker learning that lesson. Six years un learning all of the bullshit the cult forced on us." She reaches him, taking one of his hands up in both of hers. If there's an easy solution she can see that Nick can't, she doesn't tell him; she only sighs and admits, "I don't blame you. I don't know if I could have done it, either."

"Well, at least I know I'm not the only one who's gone soft." Nick looks back towards the stairs, as if John might somehow crawl out of the spare room and demand they hand over the house. "The question is, what do we do now that we got him here?"

"Well..." Kim's shoulders slump with a resigned sigh, as she also turns to look up the stairs. "I mean, there aren't a lot of options that don't end with us shooting him. It's not like there's a court to try him in, or anyone left to hold him accountable."

Nick shrugs. "Maybe that was the plan? Maybe he thought he could outlive the consequences of his bullshit."

"I'm definitely in favor of shooting him if that's the case. I'm surprised he outfoxed the deputy, much less that he survived for this long."

"I don't think I'd call whatever he's been doing surviving ." Nick gestures up the stairs. "You saw the guy. All I know is that I found him next to an open bunker that smelled like a mass grave. I mean, Dep... Dep said they put him down. They wouldn't have left him alive somewhere. Right?"

"They never were big on murder," Kim points out. "Or revenge."

"God, if they fuckin' stashed him away after everything he did..." Nick exhales heavily; he's getting too worked up about a hypothetical situation. "I guess it doesn't matter. They couldn't've known what was gonna happen." No matter how often Joseph or his fucked up family would tell them otherwise, the Deputy had never been big on religious zealotry, and the concept of the end of the world had seemed impossible to them at the time. They hadn't been a fan of killing the Seeds outright, not if they could be brought to justice, but they had never been given the chance. Well, that's what Nick thought, anyway. Now, he's not so sure that Rook didn't play some key decisions too close to their chest.

"Okay, okay," Kim cuts through his thoughts, "Let's just focus on the information we have for now."

"Easy for you to say," he sighs. But, she's right, of course she is, so Nick sighs again and shakes his head to clear away the random what-ifs he's been conjuring up. "Okay, so — the facts. Right."

"You said you found him in a bunker?" Kim prompts.

"Near a bunker. He'd made a... I mean, it wasn't a camp . But he was living topside for at least a couple days. My bet is he crawled in there after the plane went down."

"He must have run out of food at some point and had to come up," Kim suggests.

"Yeah, for all the good that did him. Though I guess it might be better starving to death topside instead of pre-buried."

"Maybe if we're lucky, he'll starve before we get around to feeding him," Kim sighs, although she sounds too resigned to be hopeful of an easy outcome. "Although it'd be hard to explain to Carmina and Grace why we're burning a corpse..."

"Oh, man," Nick groans. "What do we tell Grace? And what are we gonna do about Carmina? She can't go anywhere near that psychopath. Even if he's too weak to hurt her, I don't want him giving her... weird ideas or something."

Kim hesitates. "Grace won't be forgiving. If we tell her, she won't consider another option."

Nick hates the idea, but not enough to keep from considering it. Grace wouldn't hesitate; she would do what needs doing and she would only wonder why it took her coming along for it to happen. And if they don't tell her, they won't just be keeping John a prisoner — they'll be harboring him from the justice he deserves. They'll have to keep him hidden from everybody, even strangers. The alternative would be to put the burden on somebody who doesn't deserve it.

"I don't think I've got the guts," Nick admits shamefully. "I feel sick just thinking about it."

He hopes that Kim has a stronger stomach than him, but she only sighs and nods. "I'm not sure it's the right choice. I'm not even sure there is a right choice. But — for the sake of fairness, he should at least be able to defend himself."

"We've gone soft," Nick chuckles. "Back in the day, we'd have busted his teeth in just for surviving."

Kim gives him this look, like maybe she's always seen him as soft, but he doesn't mind it coming from her. "So," she asks, "What do we do with him once he's well enough to be a problem?"

"Hopefully, he does something to inspire some righteous, old-world justice before then."

"Considering his track record, I won't rule that out. But... Ugh. I don't even want to say it." Kim rubs her face with both hands, pacing in a small circle. "Eight years is a long time to plan in. He could have any number of... of plots, or hidden caches, who knows what? If we don't kill him, there's a real chance that he might use our kindness against us." Kim's frown is heavy enough to pull her whole face into it as she turns back to Nick. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"We'll keep him in the nursery. He'll be under lock and key, 24-7, until we can figure out what his deal is. If he turns out to be plotting some kind of second cult uprising or, I dunno... resurrecting Joseph from the grave, we'll put him out of everyone's misery. Which, let's face it, is the most likely outcome."

"And if he doesn't? How long can we keep him prisoner up there? I mean, Nick... our food supply isn't exactly stable, and he's another mouth to feed on wimpy carrots and mushy turnips. Summer's almost over, and last winter was hard enough without four of us."

Nick chews his lip. Looks back towards the stairs, wondering whether John can hear what they're saying, if he's cognizant enough to understand the position they're putting themselves in on his dumb behalf. "And then there's all the stuff we gotta get done before then," he sighs, thinking of the myriad chores and home improvement projects he's put off in order to focus on basic survival. "Hell, I don't know, Kim. Maybe we can put him to work when he's able to stand upright. Give him all the jobs Carmina's too young to do yet."

"We do need somebody to dig this house out of the dirt," Kim suggests. She's mostly joking, even though it's extremely true — they haven't had time, energy or interest enough to do more than a cursory sweep to clear the stairs. "And you've been talking about fixing up the hangar again..."

"All manual labor that I can oversee with a rifle," Nick says. "John owes us — seems only right that we take what we need."

"Assuming he'll cooperate."

"He's not going to have much of a choice."

Kim frowns. "If he doesn't, are you sure you can handle making him?"

Nick should probably be offended, but she's right to ask. Truthfully, Nick's not sure he can be intimidating enough to sway John into listening to him. The guy is a fucking maniac, after all — other than pain and revenge, there's not much that gets him up and moving. Nick doesn't have an ace up his sleeve that can outdo the Cult. That doesn't mean he's not gonna try — it just means he's going to have to try harder than John deserves.

"I'm gonna have to be. Look, after Carmina gets back, I'll take up some food and see if he's willing to talk. We'll just... go from there."

"You've always been good at improvising," Kim hums. She's got a smile on her face that Nick's never seen before, something sad lingering in her eyes as she gives him a curious look over. "I love you, you know," she tells him, as if she hasn't said it a dozen times this week alone.

"I love you too," he replies. "And I'm sorry I brought this on us. I'll make it right."

" He'll make it right," Kim says. "Or we'll shoot him."

Nick laughs. "Yeah, or we'll shoot him," he repeats, pulling Kim in for a long, tight hug. Nick's not sure if it's old age or being a father that's softened him so much, but he's sure it hasn't softened him enough to keep him from doing whatever might need to be done. All he can do is hope that John won't put that to the test.

#far cry 5 #fc5 #fcnd #far cry new dawn #john seed #nick rye #kim rye #far cry fanfic #my fic

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