#maybe that's a sign im way too attached to my things

[kellerybird]

I think my tablet is dying. I've been using it for maybe an hour and the battery is already under 50% despite being at 100% when I first grabbed it.

[ywuji]

Omg so like I want to hear your thoughts on perv!Megumi like finally after so long of Gojo teasing him for being in college for two years at this point and being single, he’s finally procured a pretty girlfriend who’s unfortunately (for her) so naive and sweet??🩷💕 Idk I got shy but I know you’ll do something good with this lol

ik i told u id post this after my wips but i started on it n i couldnt stop i liked the idea too much LOL im sorry for being so confusing D; tysm for the ask though!!! :o i rlly enjoyed writing this!!! (n don’t be shy ahjwhs you’re so lovely T_T♡)

perv!megumi !!! please i feel like he’s the type to be a pervert that’s kinda embarrassed n self aware about himself—especially bc gojo kept teasing him all those years n he was kinda just jacking off to whatever x-rated video that came up first (i feel like perv!megumi is highkey into hentai too but he’s taking that to the grave!!)

n when gets a pretty little girlfriend who acts so cute and who he loves so much, when he gets hard he can’t help but let some of that side of him slip out from time to time...

i think he’s also the type to take lots of pictures,, like pictures while you sleep, peeking through your door while you shower, in clothing store changing rooms while you change, upskirt pictures… he’ll make you his little model!! some of them you know about but some of them you don’t, he’s so lewd.

it’s not just pics of you he takes, it's some of himself too. i feel like one of the things he’d love to do to you is when you tell him to come with you to some random uni event, n he’ll randomly disappear in the middle of it, only to go to the bathroom to take pictures of his hard leaky cock to send you with some casual caption like he didn’t just do that ?!?! he’s crazy (more under the cut)

it’s not megumi’s fault he’s so in his head about you, he still just doesn’t really know how he managed to get someone as pretty and doting as you are as his. 

he sometimes feels guilty for being so obsessed with you—your body clad in pretty little outfits that you show off to him with a twirl, the way you’ll always show him your shiny new sparkly nails when you get them done, how he’s always the first one you’ll pick to talk to about something new you’ve found to love—it’s all that seems to be on his mind recently.

maybe it was gojo’s accidental doing, those feelings of guilt. unintentionally planting a little growing seed of shame in him the first few times he started teasing him for not having a partner yet at his ‘big age’, borderline lecturing him with the ‘when i was your age’ stuff—maybe that was the logical reason why he felt so attached to you, the reason he couldn’t help getting fully erect even when he only saw as much as a pair of your flung-away panties lying at the edge of your bed when coming to your room one day.

but when he recalls back to those nights where you’re innocently cuddled against him, watching whatever movie, a quiet ‘megumi?’ leaving your lips as a sign to tell him you’re falling asleep, and he finds himself shifting in his seat, carefully adjusting your head to let you rest comfortably on him, pressing a soft kiss to your hair as he strokes it and tells you a ‘sleep now, angel’, he knows that’s not the reason.

nevertheless, he’s always been worried about it, thoughts of ‘am i doing too much?’ or a ‘would she not like this?’ clouding his mind. but for every single thought like this he has, he’ll always have two more memories where he’s coming up to you, his sweet-faced little girlfriend, waiting for him with open arms and open heart. and to him, it means more than the world.

and as his cheerful sweetheart girlfriend, you’ve never really minded of course.

you know he’s at least a little perverted, asking to take those pictures of you trying on your new swimsuits, or bras, or skirts, or those times when he pulls out after spilling his load into you, and the first thing he does after making sure you’re okay is to go face-to-face with the trail of cum seeping out of you to snap a few photos.

honestly, you’ve gotten used to it at this point. you just take these moments, seeing what you do to him, as a way of reassuring yourself that he really does just love you that much. and he really does. really!! :(

no matter how innocent or dirty the context, he’ll let you know whenever he gets that warm little feeling in his chest.

“i-i love you,” he pants, head coming up from sucking marks on your neck, languid thrusts coming to a gentle stop as he peers up at you with flushed cheeks. it feels like he’s admitting it for the first time again.

when you stare at him with his same love-drunk look, brows furrowed and eyes pleading, whispering out an “i love you too, gumi”, he’ll pause a moment to study your expression before gently raising you further up the bed, hooking his hand under your leg and repositioning it around his waist.

he’ll drop down to press a kiss to your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder and picking up the pace again, now only determined to make you cum.

when he thinks of times like these, despite what you’re doing together, it’s innocent in his head.

a time where that’s not so much the case though is when you persuade him to come with you to some uni exhibition event, looking up at him with hopeful, doe-like eyes and as many ‘pleeeaaase, gumi’s and ‘please, guuuum’s as you could muster—cause it’s not like he could say no to that, right?

at first he put up an act of feign stubbornness. but eventually he agreed—only when he knew you’d excitedly hug him and press your soft chest to his as a thank you for it though.

he’d tour the hall with you, watching you gaze in awe at everything with your cute, simple curiosity, occasionally pointing out little things in the pieces he liked. before the artist began their talk though, he got up from his seat, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before muttering a “‘m g’na go to the bathroom.”

in an empty stall, he’ll sit atop the lid and pull down his jeans, freeing his stiffening cock from his underwear. he quietly groans as he pumps himself a few times, a slow trickle of translucent white leaking down from his tip.

he silently curses, throwing his head back, thinking about how you let him flip up your pretty skirt before you left, letting him take a peek at your cute ass in the frilly panties he bought for you.

he reaches for his phone, fumbling to send a picture of the sight to you, adding a casual caption of something like ‘hi pretty girl’ or ‘u look so pretty today, angel’.

he pauses, realising that maybe you won���t see it for a little while. he’s imagining you so obediently listening to the artist speaker to notice the ping of his notification—he enjoys that thought too, but he can’t say why.

he’s careful not to thrust up into his fist, not wanting to make too much noise, but it’s futile—he’s too hard staring at the lewd shots of you saved in his secret hidden album—the way you act so innocently, the way you have no clue what the true extent is of what you do to him. he can’t help but let a few breathy whines slip.

he won’t let himself cum though, thinking he’s too good to be letting himself release over some scrunched up, bathroom tissue when he’s got his own pretty little girlfriend waiting for him a few halls down.

he sighs. cleaning up and tucking himself back into the band of his briefs, leaving the stall and washing his hands, walking back out like nothing happened.

[harmoonix]

🎐Spirit of the Wind🎐

(Astrology Observations)

🎐 - Juno/Moon in Air Signs, these natives are looking for communication in their relationships, they are so good at expressing themselves in love & very devoted to their partners

🎐 - Aries Moons/Moon in the 1st house natives are very confident even if they don't always show it they give that energy sometimes in their personality

🎐 - I think Mercurial Moons (Gemini and Virgo moons) may get triggered the most and maybe sometimes Leo Moons too

🎐 - Lilith aspecting Saturn can bring conflicts especially with their dad/older brother/cousins/grandfather's and so on like there is always someone toxic in their family

🎐 - Moon aspecting Juno natives can be the most clingiest people, they will attach to your heart and will never go

🎐 - North Node sextile/trine/conjunct Jupiter can face many opportunities/benefits in their lives/journey/path, (in harsh aspects is like you are blinded from them and you can't see the opportunities you have in front of you)

🎐 - Pluto square/opposite/conjunct north node will mostly experience a rebirth with every thing that happens in their lives, I met so many natives with those aspects who are so experienced in their lives

🎐 - Moon sqaure/opposite/conjunct Saturn can tend to have a nostalgic mood/aura around them, something about them reminds you about the past

🎐 - Venus in Air houses (3rd,7th,11th house) have the best humour in a love/friend relationship, they will know how to comfort you both emotionally and physically

🎐 - Venus in Virgo/Venus in the 6th house will share their nurturing/healing energy with those who need it, these placements are healing and awaken type of natives

🎐 - Neptune/Pluto conjunct the ascendant will feel like they belong in the world, they can feel sometimes outcasted or maybe out of the crowd but that's what makes them unique they're just born different (in a nice way I love them so much)

🎐 - Uranus conjunct the ascendant will make the native very creative, they are the type of people who come off with the best ideas and the best plans for everything

🎐 - Sun opposite Lilith (h12) can attract other people only with their presence, Lilith can feel very strong when aspects the sun but when it's opposite, it will share that energy to themselves

🎐 - Lilith (h12) square/opposite/parallel/conjunct Moon are so seductive at first and is the fact that in contact with others it will just make them more curious about your life

🎐 - Uranus in the 7th house can make the native confused about their relationships and love life, they're like "What tf happens in my life now"

🎐 - South Node in the 9th house natives can feel very detached from religion/religiously detached and honestly you can't blame at all for that. Is the south node energy

🎐- Although im still not sure if Jupiter represents the husband in modern astrology instead of Mars but in vedic chart Jupiter it still represents the husband and i love to read about it 😭✋🏼

🎐 - Think at Vesta Asteroid (4) as a the point where your soul feels at home, feels safe, feels free. For example I have my Vesta in the 2nd house (Venus rules that house, and I tend to believe food brings me soul happiness especially chocolate 🍫✋🏼😭)

🎐 - I honestly love natives with Scorpio/ Sagittarius or Capricorn in big 6 because they honestly don't give a single f about what people say about them, really

🎐 - Someone asked me if the people with moon prominence in the chart feel the Intensity when the moon is changing signs and phases 😭✋🏼 yes they can, I feel like crazy when the moon is at first quarter

🎐 - Okayyy so there is an asteroid opposite to Lilith (h12) called (White Moon Selena h56) honestly is a good asteroid, is like a pure energy in your birth chart but in the same time it shows what things bring you happines, use this chart to identify what can bring your happiness

🎐 - I think I never mentioned before but Sun in the 6th house natives really can shine everywhere they go with their nurturing energy

🎐 - Do people with asc - pluto aspects seem maybe rude/harsh at first😭? Is because they have the Pluto aura around them which can make them seem like a bad guy, but they can be the sweetest people

🎐 - Moon at the 6°, 18° degrees really so observe everything in the room even the small details like wow idk how they can be so focused on everything and analyzing every detail

🎐 - Neptune in the 1st house natives or Neptune aspecting the ascendant may have something unique about their skin like moles or maybe birth marks? maybe freckles too

🎐 - Uranus in the 9th house natives can end up travelling to places they never expected, like those people who wake up in the middle or nowhere or "I never imagined I would travel here" kind of vibe

🎐 If you have Saturn in Cancer or Saturn in the 4th house you kinda have a lot of family karma, and generational karma as well. Is not bad but try to not blame yourself for this

🎐 Pluto in the 7th house is one of the placements I wish I had in my chart because I just love the meaning behind this placement is that the relationships change you very intensely and the same happens with Venus - Pluto aspects, if you have both you are more wise/mature in the future relationships

🎐 Gemini/Sagittarius and Pisces Mercury can indicate a person may talk too fast/bold way of talking/sometimes they can be a bit too harsh in their talking too

🎐 Juno in the 9th/12th house can indicate that you may find your lover in a forgien country or somewhere away from your home maybe while traveling

🎐 Juno in the 6th/Juno in Virgo can indicate a spouse/specific person who loves to take care of their mental health a lot they actually have a very healing energy

🎐 Juno aspecting the ascendant people will see you as someone ideal to marry/or to date (Unless they are like "Would you like to have kids* yeah my Juno rejects these things.

🎐 Juno in the 11th house or in Aquarius can indicate a spouse/specific person who appreciates your *weird* side, and also someone who gives you freedom

🎐 From Tarzan's jungle we did a bigggg jump back in the north America to visit the indigenous American culture because 😍😍😍 their culture is extremely beautiful and unique and here we met Pocahontas which by way was based by the legend of Pocahontas🎐

🌲🌲First let me say they are so beautiful if you think Pocahontas is pretty you need to look for how indigenous north American people look like (Slightly different from the south american ones but still share a close thing together). Their connection with nature and with the earth is very pure 🌲🌲

Have a very beautiful day to all of you who read my notes, Harmoonix ♥️❤️

[serenequeenofeverything]

What your teams of lights wants you to know? A self tarot reading.

Group i, ii, iiii, iv

But before we move on onto the reading, i want you to understand what teams of light is.

Now I won't go into details, but if you want a separate post on this, let me know in the replies. I would be more than happy to teach you more.

This is a direct quote from Laura lynne Jackson, the author of "signs: the secret language of the universe" :

" We all have a Team of Light on the Other Side. These teams send us signs.

These signs come from three distinct forces:

1. We receive signs from God energy, which is what I mean when I say signs from the universe. This is the highest and most powerful source of love, and we are each directly connected to it, and also to one another through it.

2. We receive signs from our spirit guides / the angelic realm.

3. We receive signs from our loved ones who have crossed."

Now here is the thing, you don't need me to deliver these messages to you. You receive them yourself everyday, but you might simply dismiss it. Im here to tell you what you already probably know but also probably choose to ignore or not pay much attention to.

Now shall we begin?

Just breath in and out. Let's begin.

Group i

You are not stuck as u like to think. You know your way out of this thing (a good majority of you already made it out of this situation) tbh i mostly see a relationship but it could also totally be something related to finances and just money in general.

Here is what you need to hear tho, whoever and whatever this situation was, you will do so much better without them. You are more than capable of handling this alone. And ur teams of light are more than willing to help you, to make this easier for you. So ask for help, but within not from the outside. U have so much within urself that the world outside is nothing but a failed attempt to reflect what you already have.

This song came in so strong, listen to it.

Group ii

Very similar message to group i, kinda the same theme but while theirs revolved around trusting the self, and working through their situation alone, yours is more about collaborating with others to solve this. Now i know this may have failed for you before, but this time try differently, maybe with a different person (s).

Ur luck is about to be better but here's what i (and you teams of light) need you to do, 1. Have stronger boundaries 2. Dont get emotionally attached to these people (person) this is business, not friendship. 3. Just this time try, i promise it will go better.

Group iii

Honestly this is the group that i feel most horrible for. This group seems to be going through a lot financially speaking, some of you might even be on the verge of going homeless. Listen up my babe, you know your situation better than i do, u actually know way too well that bad your situation is or can potentially become, and it's stressing you out beyond measures.

Your teams of light is clearly saying "go there" "go back", it's something about relying on another person or maybe even the government, maybe a shelter or a father figure (I definitely see a dad) to help you in this. This is the best thing to do. Trust me, this time reach out for your own sake and safety.

Group iv

Wow and here I thought only group iii situation was bad. um.. so do u struggle with some sort of addiction? Or do you feel like you are in a home or a situation that's crumbling to the group but u r stuck and you cannot get out? If that's not you then this is not your group(altho i still suggest u read the advice section in case it might somehow be exactly what u need to hear).

Okay, if you know this is your group, then let me tell you that there's a way out. Something will come up, idk what it is but it will be big. Most probably a guy will come in, they will offer you something, an idea maybe? (Altho be fucking careful, this whole situation is very effy). I genuinely dont know what's happening... like legit this group confuses the fuck out of me, so idk if u should take this offer... dont get desperate and i know u r desperate but it's almost like the cards are telling me to tell you to not trust this person but to use their idea. Almost like listen to their advice and take their advice but not with them in the plan..

Im gonna give u an example so u understand; you live in an abusive household, and u wanna escape it. But u cannot find the way out, then boom this guy comes in and is like I'll help you but long term if u go with them u will end up in a very bad situation. But here's another way to do it, this person tells u how they will help you, like their plan to get u out, what i need u to do is do as their plan minus them( the guy).

Hopefully this makes sense, english is my third language so i find it hard to tell u exactly how it is.

-----------------------------------------------

Anyways, this is it. I hope this helps you.

Also follow me bc... im too good.

And also u can totally suggest what my next reading should be on by simply replying to this post (altho i dont take personal readings right now)

[vernonioideae]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 𝓐 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓫𝓫𝓸𝓻𝓷 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽...

╱ albert wesker x reader, fluff, poor sick albert can't say no to his wife:( tbh i dont know what this is i was half conscious writing this god. anyways i believe in softie wesker🙏🏻 enjoy ⪨ ࣪ ׅ

"stop acting like im dying, im telling you it will pass. i can handle it." the harsh tone of yours husband's voice echoed in your head. lately, albert wesker has been feeling terrible. his whole body ached, he had a severe cough and obviously a runny nose. but in his head, albert wasn't weak. he couldn't show any sign of discomfort from all these things. he was a man after all, right? a tough, confident, brave human being that wasn't supposed to be so attached to showing any emotion.

in your eyes, his way of thinking was a bullshit. of course you loved him but sometimes he was too much. he wasn't a machine, but a real person having his own sensitivity that was hidden under his cold facade. you could see his deep hidden nature sometimes, especially when it came to you. he loved you deeply. the problem was that he just wasn't able to show it properly. but he was always trying for you no matter what.

"come on, albert... i can see you're in pain. just take one or two days off and let me take care of you." another problem about wesker was the fact that he overworked himself a lot. you knew he was a scientist at umbrella. this was all you knew about his job. you never really talked about it with him... you didn't know what was he exactly doing in his work, what he was researching, or other lab shit. it wasn't that you didn't care – of course you did. but after a long and exhausting day at work, wesker doesn't really want to talk about it. he always brushes off the topic by saying "as usual" or "good" and quickly asks about your day. there was a moment where you really thought he could be cheating, but there was no evidence of it. looking back, it was dumb to assume this, knowing how he's feeling about you and how deep is his love for you.

"oh no, no, no." the man scoffed. "don't even think about it. i repeat myself for the hundredth time. im not some weakling that can't deal with cold." god why was he so stubborn? you didn't know what you should do to convince him. it was hurting you a little. even if he was sick, it was finally an occasion for you both to spend some time together.

"please, albert." you looked at him. and the gaze was just showing so much. the care, love, and slight sadness. you grabbed his hand, like you didn't want to let him go anymore. you didn't want to argue anymore since this whole talk was going for twenty minutes straight. albert looked down at you. he felt your gentle yet firm touch on his hand, wesker felt defeated. he realized that even if he's all tough he can't be always like this towards his beloved one. if it meant so much to you – he was willing to give in. that was just excuse. he couldn't stand a fact he was always a softie when it came to you. he moved your hand towards his lips, placing a soft kiss on it.

"fine. but only this time." you never felt so happy hearing such a simple few words. you almost jumped at him closing both bodies in a tight embrace, making his body even more sore but it was worth the moment. he heard you mutter "i love you" and his heart slightly skip a beat.

"go upstairs okay? i'll make you some hot tea. then i'm gonna make some soup for you while you rest. and maybe we can cuddle later" albert smiled at all of those words. the way you became so gentle and soft towards him. he already liked the idea of every form of affection that he could receive from you. he nodded his head and placed a kiss on your cheek before walking away towards the stairs. "of course, i will be waiting for you my darling."

[inniessick]

Do You Still Love Me? / Yang Jeongin

pairing: non idol!yang jeongin x fem reader

word count: 5.1k (im so sorry)

warnings: angst, fluff, cursing, mentions of break up, lowkey mean!jeongin but not the entire fic, SMUT! soft/hard dom!yang jeongin, sub!reader, mention of alcohol (once), dumbifaction, no verbal consent but everything was fully consensual, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (do not do that), begging, fingering, being manhandled? (wrists pinned above head, face being grabbed), dacryphilia, crying in general, degradtion, praise, overstimulation, size kink (maybe kinda, just being safe), pet names/names (baby, doll, princess, good girl, darling, my love/love, honey // bitch, slut, whore), orgasm delay?, hickeys/lovebites, marking in general, hair pulling, kissing, showering together??, let me know if i missed any!

likes, reblogs and feedback appreciated! :3 ♡

smut below the cut, don't press keep reading if you don't want to see that.

to think you'd end up here.. alone with him, it had only been a week since you last saw jeongin. and about 6 months since you broke up. it was messy, and clean. the entire situation made so much sense and none at all.

it had been nearly perfect for 3 years. you had been friends for 2 years before you even started dating. you and jeongin met in your junior year of college. he had a reputation around him, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. you became best friends, basically attached at the hip, always together no matter where you were. "y/n and jeongin" "jeongin and y/n". absolutely nobody was surprised when you both started dating. you had always been naive, but jeongin realized he liked you very early on, too afraid to actually ask you out because he valued you so much. eventually, after a bit of liquid courage he had the balls to ask to be your boyfriend. the funniest part? you were going to confess your feelings to him the same night! your new years resolution was to be more upfront with your feelings, and you labeled that your first attempt, of course he beat you to it but you still told him how much you really liked him. a win is a win. jeongin knew you had only ever been in small relationships, never meaning a whole lot, and he wanted to change that for you. he went out of his way to make you smile at least once a day. he succeeded. 

he was your first for almost everything, and he prided himself on that. everything he did, he did with meaning, he payed so much attention to you. he was the best boyfriend you could've asked for, of course you two fought, but it was rare and never a screaming match. it was civil. but then things got ugly after he went on a vacation to see his mom for 2 weeks. he came home so upset, and unintentionally took it out on you. called you clingy stupid incompetent. followed all of that up with, "why can't you leave me alone?" "do i need to help you with everything?" you tried to talk to him and ask him what was wrong, he didn't budge. you tried everything, being affectionate, leaving him alone, talking to his friends, you even tried to call his mom. nothing worked and you started to give up, you thought he hated you. eventually you told him you were moving out, he had no reaction. you took it as sign that it was over and done with.

of course you tried to move on but you couldn't. no matter what you did, you thought of jeongin. everything you did was a reminder that you had lived with him through seriously important years of your life. you couldn't shower without thinking about how he washed your hair. couldn't wear your clothes because he either got you most of them, or you got them when you were with him. your favorite meals were his favorite too. anything that was “yours”, was his. you didn't blame him, its not his fault that you two worked so well together. worked, past tense. you constantly had to remind yourself he wasn't yours anymore but no matter what you did it was always him.

you were baffled when he sent you a text one night, shortly after breaking up, asking to meet up. you took him up on the offer but rather than talking it led to you both drinking just a little bit too much and ending up in bed together. and that's how it's been for the last 4 months.

isn't it funny? sometimes you get lucky and they think you're someone else. you figured he didn't care that it was you, he just wanted to fuck. but here you are regardless. you thought you'd finally end things once and for all, but then you got a call from him. were you stupid? you shouldn't have answered his call at all. how can you blame him for your inability to end it? i mean, you picked up the phone after all. 

it was 1am, you were nowhere near ready to sleep, you were thinking about how to approach him. speak of the devil as they say, right?

“hey.. y/n.. are you up?”

“yea innie, im up.” there you go again, thinking without speaking. the nickname too? cmon.

you could hear his staggered breathing, “come over? please? really need you.”

your heart was beating so hard you would've thought it was going to burst out of your chest. you knew exactly what he was implying. “mkay innie... ill come over” why would you say no? at least he wants you for something right? you heard him sigh, “thanks doll, you know how much you mean to me.” you gulped, trying so desperately to breathe but you couldn't, his words taking all the air from your lungs. you opted to just hang up the phone instead of responding.

somehow you made it out to your car, no recollection of getting dressed or grabbing your keys. but you were back to reality now, and all you could think was “should I really go and see him?” your hands gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles began to blanch. hadn't he made it clear weeks ago? you were just a quick fuck and a half decent friend, always so pretty for him, not enough to make him think about a relationship though. and yet, you started the car anyways, you drove over to his place, it used to be yours too. the drive couldn't have gone any slower, yet you were pulling into the parking lot before you knew it. walking up to his door, knowing you had one more shot to turn around and end it there, you grabbed the spare key from under the little garden gnome you'd gotten him a year ago, and you unlocked the door. you idiot. then you walked into his apartment, and made your way to his room. are you serious right now? and of course there he was waiting for you. only one thought in your head, god he's so pretty..

“’m so glad you're here, baby.” jeongin wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you towards him before connecting his lips to your neck and kissing all the spots he knew you loved. of course he knew them, he knew you better than you knew yourself.

“mhm.. I know innie.." you murmured while looking to the side, unintentionally giving him more access to the crook of your neck, before throwing your keys on the chair in the corner of his room.

you felt him pull away, only to come back once he had led you to his bed. towering over you, a small smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss your neck. he began running his hands down your torso before slipping them under your shirt to grab at your chest. his hands moving so gently over your skin, yet slow, achingly slow. jeongin slotted his knee between your thighs, the slightest bit of pressure being put against your core. a shaky breath and a whimper gave him all the confirmation he needed. peppering kisses along your jawline before meeting your lips. it was aggressive, tongue pushing it's way into your mouth, spit across your lips, all while he was touching and grabbing at your skin. your skin felt on fire, you needed some sort of release. how had he got you so worked up while doing so little? how did he still have this much control over you? you pulled at his hair, moved yourself against his knee just enough to satisfy the urge for some kind of friction.

"innie please.. need it so bad." you'd think you just entered another mans bed with how gently he began taking off your shirt, it all felt so slow, he was teasing you, testing to see how much he could get out of you. “innie, hurry please. don't wan’ wait anymore.” you were whining, begging for him to stop teasing you and just give you what you wanted, no, needed. “alright, honey, shh.. cmon lift your hips a little so I can take these off of you too.” he pulled at the top of your shorts, and you lifted your hips up allowing him to pull your shorts and panties off in one swift motion. 

grabbing your hips before moving his hands down your legs. gently rubbing his hands on your thighs before bringing them back up and reaching your clit, applying the slightest bit of pressure, trying to get you to moan his name just the way he wanted. throwing your head back, and arching your back, “ahh- innie.. jeongin oh my god.” he gently kissed your thighs offering slight squeezes, almost like he was afraid to grab you too hard. “that's it princess, same my name again, tell innie what you want.” “wan’... want your fingers, please innie please.” “alright love, ill give you whatever you want.” right.. ‘whatever you want’, you were too caught up in the feeling of his fingers near your core to actually feel upset about what he was saying.

but it didn't stop you from thinking about his actions. how was he able to hold you like you were made of glass? touch you so lightly, it felt like his fingers were just ghosting over you. he made sure to place you down gently, to tell you such sweet things.. how could such things come from a mouth as vile as his? 

you and jeongin weren't always like this, it was good at one point. you a real relationship. he really truly loved you, yet somewhere within the years, he stopped. he couldn't tell you why, he didn't know, or maybe you didn't care to ever ask in the first place. endless miscommunication. he may not love you, but at least in some way he still cared about you, even if it was late into the night and only if he could touch you in whatever way he pleased. you loved him still, and you weren't ready to give up yet. how else could you make him stay? 

his fingers made their way to your entrance, slick built up from his teasing. “always so pretty and wet for me. just for innie, yea?" you nodded while grabbing at his hair, lightly tugging. “yesyes always for you, just for you, jeonginnie. pleasepleaseplease.” you weren't quite sure what you were begging for anymore, you knew he would fuck you so why beg? did you want him to love you? kiss you and hold you? your thoughts becoming scrambled as he slowly pushed 2 fingers into you, slowly pulling them out then pushing them back in, curling them right at that sweet spot. you closed your eyes, unable to handle all the pleasure he was giving you. his fingers reached places yours simply couldn't. 

he kissed his way up your torso before getting right to your collarbone and stopping, his hand never moving away from your core. “princess, you still here?” he put his finger under your chin nudging your head up. you were still moaning, clenching around his fingers, trying to think of a response as he quickened the pace. “yes, just wanna cum innie.. p- please.” you whimpered, “alright love, you got me, im here. cum for me baby, come on.” he went back down, this time finally connecting his mouth with your clit. humming slightly when you let out a higher pitched moan. small kitten licks as he kept fucking you with his fingers, coaxing an orgasm out of you, just as you had asked him. before you knew it you were coming undone on his fingers. moaning, pulling at his hair, incoherent words spilling for your lips as he helped you ride your high out. finally pulling himself away from you, lips slightly wet from your juices, your legs still shaking as he softly rubbed circles on your thighs.

“you still okay doll?” “mhm.. want more, need you jeongin.” your hand on his clothed chest, pulling at his shirt, a silent request for him to take it off. he seemed to understand what you wanted, retreating from the bed to rid himself of his clothing. you stared at him as he stripped, it almost felt like he was giving you a small show. it didn't matter how many times this happened, you never got over how big his dick actually was. seeing him always made you nervous, how is it gonna fit? even though he makes it fit every single time. he got back onto the bed, towering on top of your small frame again, giving you a few kisses before he lined himself up with your entrance, pushing in slowly, his soft hand caressing your cheek. you were whimpering, tossing your head from side to side, and grabbing at his biceps, “innie too much too much canttakeanymore..” your speech was slurred, “you can do it doll, take me so well every time.” you knew he had to have been only half way in, but you felt so full, it felt like he was splitting you apart. “still so tight after I fucked you with my fingers... so cute, always asking me for more.” he whispered close to your ear, it sent a shiver down your spine. he kissed your face gently as he continued to push himself deeper into you before finally bottoming out. tossing his head back and groaning every time you clenched down on him, “see princess? took it all j-just for me.” your breathing was rigid, trying to get used to his size. your fingers gripping harder onto his arm, whining “why are you so big? its too much.” “its okay baby, take your time, you can do it.” “j.. jeongin move, please move.”

he connected his lips with yours, the kiss was hot and sloppy. he moved his hands down to grab your hips, slowly building up speed. each thrust causing you to whimper and moan into his mouth. he pulled away from your lips only to reconnect himself to your jaw and move down to your neck while letting out strings of curses, softly biting your neck every time he felt you clamp down. he had completely littered your neck and chest with red and purple hickeys, even after everything was done you'd still be reminded of him, that ultimately, you were still his. “fuck.. so tight for me... always so fucking good." he moaned as you moved your hands under his arms and clawed at his back, not only was he picking up his pace but he was going harder, each thrust making his tip kiss your cervix. “fuck innie.. ahh.. right there please, moremoremore” “more what princess? talk to me.” he fucked into you faster, he wanted to fuck you dumb, make it hard for you to say anything to him. “shit.. harder please.. god, jeongin, please harder!”

its like something in him snapped at that moment, pulling away from you and grabbing your wrists before putting them above your head and holding them there. “why do you keep begging? are you that much of a greedy slut for me?” he looked down at you, so small beneath him. such a tiny little thing, all his, only for him to use. “mm! yes innie, I am!” “do you want me to fuck you dumb? make you feel so good you can't think?” “yesyesyes please! wan’ be good for you.” you kept babbling nonsense and moaning to the point where you couldn't even think a proper thought. he had reached his goal. “who fucks you this good, y/n? who makes you scream like this?” you were trying so hard to form a response, really you were! yet you failed, unable to register the things he was saying. it didn't help that he kept snapping his hips into yours and hitting the one spot that made you see stars. he stilled his hips, grabbing your cheeks with one hand and making your face form a pout. “answer me, who fucks you this good?” “you, jeongin! only you fuck me like this! please dont want you to stop.” you moved your hips while whining, “atta girl.” he was back to assaulting that sweet spot, fucking into you at a rapid, unwavering pace. you couldn't stop moaning, almost like you had no control over yourself anymore. all you could think about was jeongin and how good he felt. in the midst of everything, your mouth hung open just slightly, drool falling onto your lips, tears threatening to spill from your half lidded eyes. “awwhh, poor little baby crying because that can't take what they asked for? didn't you say harder, love? isn't this what you wanted?” he was taunting you, he knew exactly what he was doing. tears fell from your eyes and you kept nodding and babbling, completely fucked out while your legs trembled, “’s too much innie, too much, c-cant take it!” “getting fucked so good you're crying now? are you that much of a whore for my dick?” you cried harder, sobbed for him, begging him to not stop, while going on and on about it being too much, before you knew it you were begging him to let you cum too. 

“in... fuck- innie.. wan’ cum for you, please need to.. love you so much.. please need to cum,” the pace he was going at was cruel, and so precise, every thrust hitting right where it needed to. “I'm nowhere near finished with you and you're already gonna cum? are you that much of cock hungry bitch?” “yesyesyes love you so much, i love you! jeonginnie! please let me cum! need to cum,” “come on then, wanna feel you cum on my cock.” and with that he was kissing you as you moaned and trembled in his grasp, he gently released your wrists and slowed down, fucking you through your orgasm. “that's my good girl,” it almost sounded as though he put an emphasis on the word, making it known that you were his.

you dont know why, but you used all the strength you had left to wrap your legs around his waist as you grabbed his face, “keep going please... want you to cum in me innie.. need to feel you.” you pulled his face back down and kissed him, you felt his hips stutter slightly before he put one of his hands behind your neck and the other holding on to your hip so hard you knew it'd leave a mark in the morning. he deepened the kiss, it was full of passion, tender yet sloppy, so hot you thought it would burn you. you tangled your fingers in his hair and held onto him. he had slowed down a lot, only pulling out halfway before sinking back into your warm cunt. you weren't screaming his name anymore nor moaning so loud that he would be gettin noise complaint, rather it felt almost too intimate, small moans and a couple swears. sweet nothings “love you so much, want to kiss you innie, keep going please” and him reciprocating, “feel so good around me, never want to let you go, you're perfect... love you.” the last two words made your chest begin to feet tight, almost like you couldn't breathe and you screwed your eyes shut. he was too caught up in the moment, right? surely he didn't mean to say that. his thrusts became sloppy and jeongin started breathing heavier, “cmon baby, cum for me, please.” you whispered into his ear, tugging on his hair a bit, you heard a small “mhm” come from him as he kissed all around your neck, you swore you even felt him smile against it every time you said his name. a familiar knot in your tummy formed. with a few harsh thrusts from him he was filling you up, as you unraveled around him while mumbling about how much you loved him.

you both laid their for a moment, catching your breath and just holding onto each other. after a few minutes he leaned up slightly, wiping the tears off your cheek, but these weren't from earlier.  “y/n, why are you crying?” and you snapped back to reality. of course he was just saying all of that because of the sex, why else would he be that sweet to you? he hadn't said your name like that in awhile, it sounded too cold. you felt your heart break just a bit, your short-lived dream being ripped right from your hands.

he was holding himself just enough above you to not be laying on top of you, and you missed how close he felt to you, you understood the intimacy was over. he rubbed your cheek, “why are you crying? was I too rough? did I hurt you?” he pushed himself off of you and took in everything. your chest had hickeys all over it, neck covered in bite marks, hip starting to bruise from his ruthless grip, lips bitten and red, hair disheveled, he felt horrible, did he really hurt you? well no, not in that way at least.

you had no clue why you couldn't stop crying, offering him a small smile as tears kept falling from your eyes, “no jeongin.. it was great. you didn't do anything wrong, you didn't hurt me, I wanted you to be rough, promise. I just... I missed that.” you saw his jaw tense, “what do you mean..? the sex? we do that all the time..” you turned your head to the side trying to avoiding his gaze. he quickly, yet gently, grabbed your jaw and made you look at him, you were his, and he had full control of you. “no.. missed you.. holding me and talking to me like that.” “y/n- baby... im sorry, you know it can't be that way anymore.” “I kn- I still love you.. dont know what to do with myself.” you cut yourself off. if not now, when? didn't he deserve to know you felt? did he not remember saying he loved you too? were you really just a tool for him to use? certainly that wouldn't be horrible, right? at least he would keep you around. it left you thinking, when had jeongin ever said something he didn't mean at least a little bit, though? some truth had to be hidden in his statement.

he ran his hand through your hair, “let's get you cleaned up and then we can talk about this, okay?” you stared at him, like a dear in the headlights, “talk about it..?” “mhm baby, we can talk about it. cmere let me walk you to the bathroom, clean you up.” you simply nodded, at a total loss for words. was this his form of a cruel joke?

he started a warm shower and got you both in. holding you against his chest, you could hear his heart beating, it was so steady. it was silent for awhile, only small sniffles coming from you. he held you, letting the warm water run over you and ease your muscles.

"turn around so i can wash your hair, darling." “mkay..” his fingers massaged your scalp slowing working his way around your head before rinsing the shampoo out of your hair. he helped you wash your body. making sure to gently go over each area, small apologies after he touched every mark. “dont apologize.. like it when you mark me like that..” he only hummed in response. you knew he loved doing it to you, too. as he finished rinsing the bubbles off your body, he reached for the shampoo, and just before he could pick the bottle back up, you grabbed it, "innie, can i wash your hair too?" you sounded so enthusiastic, like it was something you had been waiting to do. that stupid smile of his, he let out a small laugh. "of course you can wash my hair." you smiled back at him, placing a small kiss on his cheek. he put his head down so you could wash his hair completely, you started to wash his body for him, you took this opportunity to take the full view of him in. only a few marks left from your mouth on him, his back had scratch marks all the way down, you stifled a giggle when you saw. it felt so natural.. normal again, but things like that are too good to be true aren't they? you turned the water off and got towels for each other. you stared at him as he dried his hair, "your hair got long again.." you said lowly, you hadn't noticed it until now. you hadn't been this close to him for a long time, "i haven't had the time to cut it yet.." you hummed in response before drying yourself off. "i like when you grow it out.." you thought you had said it softly enough that he hadn't heard, but you were met with him saying, "i know" before holding your head to his chest for a moment.

"let me go get us some clothes- are you okay wearing mine? i don't have any of yours here.." "yea jeonginnie, your clothes are just fine." something in you was glad that you hadn't asked to keep a spare change of clothes here, but you shouldn't be happy, you shouldn't have hope that this will work out again... but god do you want it to.

walking back into the bathroom, he handed you a shirt you used to wear to bed all the time, "i remember this one, you got it from Chan during new years right?" "Mhm, same time when i asked you.. sorry." he stopped himself, the grin on his face falling, he looked upset with himself for bringing up the memory of when you two first got together. granted, you never forgot, you think about it all the time. shaking your head, you put on his clothes and walked back into the bedroom.

there was a long pause, where you both just looked at each other trying to figure out what to say, "so...” you looked around the room, trying to break the silence but jeongin quickly spoke, “you still love me?” your eyes widened again, you hadn't expected that. "you kept saying it when we were.."

you stopped him, “you said it too...” he looked at you and nodded, acknowledging that he had reciprocated the words. so he said it on purpose... “of course I still love you jeongin.. why else would I keep coming back?”

he held your hand in his as he looked down.. “but I said some really horrible things to you y/n, I just let you leave, and then i only called you for things like this.." “mhm.. I didn't want to lose you completely.. needed to find a way to stay with you.” “princess.. im so sorry.”

you shook your head and pulled your hand away, “dont apologize, that means you're gonna leave.” panic rising in your chest, “baby.. im apologizing because I dont want to leave. I want to be around you, you don't know how much i still love you.” just as quickly as the anxiety came, it left.

you could feel your eyes getting watery again, you didn't know you had any tears left to spare. but for him you always did, you had everything to give him, you just needed him to let you. “do you really want me innie...? do you want a relationship outside of sleeping with me? im too clingy and I can't do stuff right..” he knew you were referring to the things he had told you, it pained him, chewing on his bottom lip to fight off the tears he knew would spill at any moment. god, how he regretted hurting you. he never meant to, he couldn't stand seeing you upset because of him. “love... im so sorry I told you things like that i.. i dont know why i did.” he grabbed your cheeks and looked into your eyes, “I didn't mean it. you're not too clingy, I want to be glued to your side every second of the day. I never want you to leave my arms. I want to be around you more than anything else. and.. and you're not incompetent my love, you do so much right, im the one who messed up. of course I want a relationship with you y/n, I didn't know you still wanted me after everything that happened.” was he always this dumb? of course you still wanted him. you put your face into his chest, trying to say something but you couldn't. the only words that would come out were sorry, and love you. he knew you couldn't put it into words just yet. he held onto you so tightly, but it wasn't close enough. you needed to be closer, you needed to crawl into his ribcage and make a home next to his heart. but you already resided there. you were always there, he loved you more than anything and deep down you knew that. thats only fair right? he had made a home inside of you, an endless garden that flourished through every limb, every cell within you, constantly growing, begging for you to never uproot it, and of course you wouldn't. when he had abandoned the garden, that is your heart, you continued to water it, show it love, in hopes that one day he'd come back and stay there. maybe this was what you were waiting for. you loved him more than bees love flowers, more than the stars love the moon, more than life itself. 

jeongin held you in his arms and placed a kiss on the top of your head. “love you innie..” “I love you too... baby im sorry I didn't try to fix this sooner.” there was a pause in his speech, but you didn't doubt that he truly meant what he was saying. “we can fix it now, right?” you looked up at him, pleading, silently begging him to tell you ‘we can fix this’.  “if you'll let me, ill do everything to prove im a better man now. I dont want to live without you like this anymore. I cant tell you how much I love you.” “I dont want you to tell me you love me, jeongin. just show me. show me that you love me like I love you.” you pulled away and kissed him for the nth time tonight, but it felt different. it felt loving, there was no lust, just a kiss between two people who loved each other. a kiss that signified a promise, a promise to keep trying, to show each other endless love. a kiss shared to say things neither of them could. 

a/n: PLEASE I REREAD THIS SO MANY TIMES IF THERES AN ERROR IM SORRY? HOW DID I MISS IT?? you can thank tv girl for this fic because the whole inspo was from "her and her friend". i literally couldn't stop writing, it felt never ending. may be a bit disorganized, but i tried really hard to make it as fluid as possible. i hope the ending didn't feel rushed either? i thought i closed it off pretty well. that being said, please give me feedback on what you liked/didnt! i will take it into consideration when writing my next piece! my requests are open!

[neurodivergantizzetwitch]

ive been hearing a lot of legitimate criticism of will wood and his fan base from people who like his music, but see him as a pretentious white guy, and his fanbase as an extension of that.

now i havent been in the ww fandom v long, but given the depths i have gone in it i feel at least somewhat comfortable saying im not sure exactly where this impression is coming from.

i see him writing very eclectic erratic and idiosyncratic songs, and people having a variety of interpretations of them, and i can see how that might come off as pretentiousness, especially bc some of his fans really do cross a line in terms of a gatekeepy parasocial attachment to will

but i haven't really seen anyone going THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO INTERPRET THIS SONG YOURE STUPID IF YOU DONT SEE IT or smth to that effect

i acknowledge tho that there is also some legitimate background to this perception, bc what i have seen is:

-will playing characters live and joking w his audience in ways that are often either easily misinterpreted or clearly just someone with extreme mental health issues

-will being maybe mildly annoyed at how his fans often... over analyze his songs and upset when they overstep boundaries, and sometimes expressing that in non ideal ways.

-wills fans being incredibly obsessed with him and his music, which to the outside observer can be annoying i think (but honestly this to me reads more as a bunch of nd ppl w who have hyperfixated/have a special interest related to him)

-the lyrics to wills songs all being very confusing, especially the farther back in his discography you go, and his fans acting like their meanings are obvious on a first glance even when they arent (which is all the time)

-will pulling references from sources that can be seen as pretentious and off putting, esp when coming from a white guy (taoism, it's always sunny, modern psychology, 'classic' films, name dropping authors of philosophy, etc.)

-wills stances often being contrarian and often (especially on first glance) seemingly being that way purely for the sake of being contrarian

-will explaining his stances in fancy and grandiloquent language (a note on this one in particular: i think of this as not really a sign of being pretentious, potentially bc of my own struggles w it. i often accidentally use a bunch of complicated words and descriptions that wouldn't make sense to me if i was the one hearing them, not because im trying to be exclusionary or come off as ✨intelligent✨, but bc it was explained to me in those terms and i went through the process of studying it in that terminology and being told i had to use that terminology, and now im too dumb to translate what im thinking back into language that's actually comprehensible)

but i feel that a lot of these things are really overstated in how often they happen. by and large, i think a lot of this response is a misreading of the facts that his fanbase is really passionate to a somewhat obsessive degree, will is very passionate about the things he likes and the things he believes in, and both will and the majority of his fan base are pretty mentally unstable and/or neurodivergent.

from what ive seen, will isn't trying to be pretentious in any way and is legitimately just expressing himself. his fanbase despite their occasional issues are ultimately pretty much just very passionate people. and also he does not hate them! to quote the man himself

"guys, i don't hate you! stop telling people i hate you! stop doing that; i like you people! 99.999 percent of you are really good, and 99.999 percent of the people who piss me off are just going through it! i don't know where people are getting this idea the whole like 'will wood hates his fandom' yeah i know i said i hate you all in that song but... you know, it's a song! i like you guys."

if you have counter info/arguments though id love to see them. im always looking for new perspectives, and as i said ive *just* started listening to will wood and looking into his lore. i couldve totally missed smth and id love to hear it if i have.

[changbinsboobs]

im the anon from before: told ya in my chan observations "knowing chan and his tendencies for a victim-complex, pick me, delulu and stuff" bound to cause some issues in his personal relationships but also this is why lee know is my fave out of the two bro would not give two hoots compared to chan who seems always on edge, kinda not trouble maker but doesnt mind stirring the pot to make a mountain out of a molehill.

although I do blame their coddeling from the companies for their inability to have stable relationships because they cant seemingly get out of their own delulu bubble (mainly chan).

u know what im also glad for these readings for? bc it makes me less delulu about certain idols lmao, its weird because some idols i thought would have dreadful personalities or types do not and its the ones that i have suspicions of and chan was one of them mainly due to his overly unhealthy attachments to stay but now i still find him interesting i just dont know if i would date him? yaknow? i think sometimes an idol having very very specific ideals can limit their overal perspective in dating bc theyre not really seeing someone for their personality or their natural charms or anything else its literally all about other attributes that they maybe look too much into and not giving some others enough chance becaude if u only look on the outside u never going to see ppl in different way, its very concieted. like what if chan met someone who fitted the appearsnce he wanted but they also had toxic behaviours or would just use him? he would still prolly date that person. im sure the girl he was with was lovely but no one wants to babysit a grown man. period. he actually gives manchild vibes no fr

honestly if anything i dont want him to be defamed cause she may or may not use it against him even if she sign nda but if hes that toxic it may very well backfire even further. i think he would be better more as friend material than romantic but he said he wanted family as well in snother reading. bro got a lot of growth to do before any of that

i hope other stay who maybe too deluded to see thru his behaviour i hope they somehow learn abt it thru readings cause itd suck to put so much attention and for it to all be unhealthy and shit

So first things first - my personal opinion is that nowadays there's just s HUGE gap between men and women in terms of being a a well rounded, capable, mature human being. Sadly. And so i i wouldn't necessarily put the blame on the companies but rather just on the guy himself - at the end of the day he chose that path and no matter what ur environment is you can still learn and choose to be well rounded human being - like thats on u bro🥲and i also do see him as a man child, sry not sry. Ive noticed that for a very long while actually and i think he knows that on some level too and thats part of the reason why he pushes that "taking care of y'all" image on himself so mich to try and make up for what he on the inside knows that he lacks.

And i think too he would date someone for SURE that he finds attractive but knows they're toxic cuz lets be honest - lots of people do😂 some people just crave toxicity and some people are toxic themselves and like attracts like.

Also i don't think the situation is that bad for him to be defamed - as i said i think the whole thing was much bigger in his perception than it probably was for the girl. I don't think he was toxic to the extent where he would be hurting anyone other than himself. In fact i think his toxic is rather embarrassing than hurtful. Its the type where you just sit there in shock and wonder how someone like him, with a certain image, status, money, power even, life experience etc - can act and be so immature and cringey. I think he could also be someone that would be kinda gaslighting but not out of malice but rather because he's just too sensitive and cant regulate his emotions so well hence why he can't really grasp the situation in a right way. But thats as far as it gets.

As negative as readings like that might sound im actually happy to read on energy like that because as you sed it helps delude people a bit and also just plain shows you a persons bad side (which we all have) and makes them much more human. And the best part - i would much rather stan an idol thats a manchild and is just a bit cringey, than stanning an abuser and not knowing it. That way you at least know his red flacks aren't THAT type of RED iykwim...👀

[thesweetestdevotion]

please can u do a tutorial on how to channel or do more intuitive readings ourselves?

What a nice request! thank you!

Im gonna be honest, i dont know if i can give you a tutorial on how to channel/read as everybody's energy is different and we all have different abilities. I can run you through my own personal process though! That's not to say that mine is the best one for you (or anyone really) but maybe it can give you some insight on how I channel/read and inspire you a little! Here we go!!:

I shuffle my deck until I am called to stop. if i had just done a reading right before I'll snap my fingers 2-3 times as a way to clear the past energy/make space for the new one.

I roll my dice one by one (three, 12-sided dice. Planets, Zodiac Signs, 12 Houses) I dont always use them fyi. Once theyre rolled out i begin to shuffle my deck, I only take cards that jump out but also they just have to feel right as well, even if i cant see the card yet theres like a force that pulls me to the right cards and lets me know which ones are relevant/not.

I lay my cards out and begin to read and connect energies. It's very important to know the meanings of the tarot, and also be familiar with their traditional symbolism. But its also good to know when to use your intuitive gifts, theres no need to always attach yourself to the cookie cutter meanings if you dont feel called to. Its also good to be able to connect all of the cards into a coherent "story" where they're able to build off of each other. If you feel the meaning of a card doesn't resonate with the overall energy of the reading, It's usually spirit guiding you to use your intuitive skills to find meaning in another way.

As for channeling, I really can't make a guide as to how to do this. I've seen some readers channel by writing down messages, others close their eyes and let images come to them, amongst many other methods. Personally, I dont need to do anything in order to channel messages, often as soon as I start a reading I get channels. I'll very often get channels even while doing chores or reading a book. I see images, colors, scenes, hear sounds, music, voices. I even have sensations in my body (heartaches, throat closing up, sudden tension, etc...) I'm someone who is very in tune with my body/mind and im naturally able to tell what feelings belong to me vs not. I don't know how to guide someone to do this if im honest. I think some readers can and others not. That doesn't make you a bad reader, or like your messages have something lacking in them because of this, so don't feel discouraged if you aren't able to do stuff like that.

Also, things will come to you as you read over time. You'll stumble upon new methods, find what you like to do, read at quicker paces, etc.. Tarot is a skill, and like all other skills it needs to be honed. So practice, practice, practice.

Other (kinda crazy) stuff i do to supplement my practice (not necessary at all, just personal stuff):

sleep with my tarot decks near me/under my pillow

cover my head with a cloth/blanket. I just lay it over me no special method.

let my tarot decks charge (many different ways to do this, mostly i just let them rest in favor of using another deck, some people use crystals, smoke, moonlight. Its really up to the reader)

I don't read all the time, i take breaks. Dont wanna deplete my energy

If channels are getting annoying (which they often can for me) writing them down somewhere, even if theyre nonsensical, helps a lot.

Keep my body physically fit/healthy, as much as I can. This is an astrological method. The 6th house of health/work/daily routines/hygiene/stomach directly opposes the 12th house of the subconscious mind/dreams/sleep/intuition/secrets/anything hidden or mysterious. If one house is out of balance the other one is too. So keeping one in check helps me keep my intuition clear, also works both ways (nurturing my intuition/getting rest helps my health). This might not be something everyone includes in their practice, but it personally keeps me very grounded.

Have boundaries. you don't have to tap into all energies, especially if they repell you. It's important to be aware of this.

General Advice:

Have conversations! dont be afraid to ask other readers for help (hehe as you did now, good job!) or for guidance. Finding a great teacher/guru to help you is a wonderful gift, honestly wish i had done this as well

It's okay and normal to be wrong, no one is infallible or omnipresent. we are human, and ultimately we might be tapping in to a spiritual source, but it will always be interpreted by our biased and limited human minds. it's why its important to be okay with mistakes, and also important to find readers who resonate with your energy and vibe. Don't force yourself to listen to someone who makes you feel icky!! its not good vibes at all!

If you all have any further questions like this, drop them in my inbox or here on this post. Thank you again to the anon who sent this in! love ya<3

[strawberryjamsara]

HELLO

Idk if you've seen the ending where you choose all the red options but i wanna hear your thoughts abt it if you have...

Also because im going insane over it so i need to get my thoughts out somewhere (about the red option ending)

// spoilers below?

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Sara admitting that she doesn't make any new connections because she's afraid of dragging them into a world of darkness despite not having (to her) any credible evidence that such a thing will happen is so????

Does she subconsciously know something is up with her family?? I assume she's caught on that her family life is a lil off due to her having an option(s)? About her father going -> (Eg. When you tell joe "Don't laugh" she goes "Don't laugh at my father!!" And there's an option that says something about embarassment abt her dad)

Like???

AND THATS NOT EVEN MENTIONING THE DG APPEARANCE IN A MINISODE SET !!BEFORE!! THE TIMELINE OF THE GAMES??? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHAT IS GOING ON??

(AND THE IMPLICATIONS THAT SARA DID SURVIVE THE DG AND IS NOW LIKE "I WONDER WHAT WOULDVE HAPPENED IF I DID THIS INSTEAD? WOULD IT BE DIFFERENT")

My brain will now be rotating this minisode like a microwave for months now 😭 goddamn nankidai's wild ride never ends

HI HI SO I FOUND OUT THE RED ENDING EXISTED AFTER I COMPLETED THE INITIAL STORY AND ITS. SOMETHING.

There’s so much to unpack with the red ending. In a sense the red ending changes so much of the perspective of the story. Part of me thinks maybe this story is Sara post logic, trying to piece together remnants of her memories of Joe. Who was he? A best friend? A crush? Something in between? She’s putting so many pieces together, and also starting to take notice of the “red flags” she had with her father. We’ve seen signs of her home life before but here they’re essentially playing on a loudspeaker what kind of father he was.

And also this ending shows so much self hatred from Sara. The idea she’s dark and unknowable and that she’s destined to drag others down with her if she makes friends (very Catholic of you Sara). And it feels like another thing she was subtly ‘taught’. Her dad just needed her to keep on with what he’s said about never holding back, and the guilt will be enough that she doesn’t form ‘real’ bonds. So she doesn’t really become attached to anyone, since she needs to have that trait if she’s going to be willing to kill.

But you know who else has that trait? That ‘I’m an awful person who will drag others down with me’ mentality that makes them form walls? Trick question it’s two people. Keiji and Kai.

Kai hating his ‘darkness’ being fine with Mr Chidouins love even as he’s essentially used as a servant and not allowed to speak to his family… While it probably didn’t start after he worked there, I can see Mr Chidouin nursing that feeling in him so he can be a better weapon. His way of getting him to be willing to die for the cause of rescuing his daughter. And won’t that just feed her feeling of dragging others down? The fact that someone she never even knew died for her, and she spent the whole time thinking he was some stalker? It’s just one thing to keep her feeling like she hurts whatever she touches, after the other guilt of her best friend dying.

And Keiji… Oh Keiji. It’s not really hard to see that the reason Keiji stops trying to manipulate Sara and grows a genuine attachment to her is because he sees himself in her. More precisely he’s afraid she’ll end up like him. And yet despite their hatred for attachments and belief that they will hurt other people, they form one of the strongest connections in the game. Maybe because of it. Because Keiji never really shows full vulnerability maybe Sara thought he was ‘safe’ to get close too. If he didn’t care all that much, and even he seemed fine with the darkness, she couldn’t cause him to get worse. And then they both caused each other to get better. Urrrgh I’m punching the ground:

[hiko-the-teacup]

DSMPSTUCK DESIGNS PT2

heheehehe tommeeeyyyy

he's so goofy, i tried to make him look interesting cuz i saw a lot of designs that were really simple and i wanted to add more silly details

so tommy is a human, but he is in fact an Aries, he is a Prospit dreamer and i believe he is a Heir of Blood (im too sleepy to explain just trust me on this one) so, hypothetically, if he were to be a troll he would be in the (canon extended zodiac's) sign of Arcer (sign of the officer)

OKAY SO TUBBO

i love the idea that tubbo had kind of a jade situation and had to fuse with his sprite which happened to have a ram and is actually god tier but uses normal clothes :)))

so tubbo is a human as well but he is a Capricorn, and i believe he is a Derse dreamer and a Bard of Breath

mostly because of the way he developed as a character, starting in a way, very attached to Tommy, looking for connections and trying to be the leader of a country, but in the end not being able to bare with it all and pushing people away

so hypothetically if he were a troll he'd fall on the sign of Capriun (sign of the cartographer)

fundy!

fundy is a human which also had a jade situation and became part fox!!

hes a Mage of Breath i believe, mostly because of the way he felt isolated from everyone

he is also a libra and a Prospit dreamer which would land him on the sign Libus (sign of the vibrant)

OMG MY FAVOURITE ONE :)

ok more like my second fave but still hehe

Wilbur, unlike many designs would lead you to believe, is actually a Virgo!!

i believe he is a Prince of Mind, and i will elaborate in another post (maybe) because i have a lot to say about him bc i LOVE THIS CHARACTER SO MUCH AGHHH

so anyways, he therefore is a Derse dreamer Jadeblood, Prince of Mind, which would fall into Virza (sign of the puzzle) ((fun fact that's also my extended zodiac sign)) (((i swear it wasn't or purpose i prome plz-----)))

JJJJJSCHLATT

slatt

he is also a virgo actually, that surprised me lmao

i believe he is a Witch of Rage, a Derse dreamer and being a Jadeblood that would give him the sign of viriborn (sign of the stringent)

i don't have much to say, this design was kinda lazy, i might remake it actually

ERET MY BELOVED

they would also be an ancestor design, i just couldn't render him cuz,, i got lazy---

but yeah he is a Capricorn and he is a Sylph of Heart♡♡♡, he is also a Derse dreamer and that would give him the sign Caprio (sign of the opaque)

FINALLY I GOT TO HIM I REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS

so first of all quackity is a Capricorn, HOWEVER i couldn't think of a very good design with purple for him specifically and so i was talking with a friend and came to this thought:

Quackity, like Jack Noir, was kinda pushed around and undermined,(more things i wrote but were deleted,ill do a deeper analysis when im more awake i swear)

essentially hes a derse Capricorn page of space, that would fall on Capriga sign of the surveyor

((edit;; oh my god it deleted like half of my post im going to die))

((ill post the rest tomorrow maybe))

[madstronaut]

once more into the breach for FaFiCoWriYear

Reading: Bite the Hand by @http-paprika

I literally kept writing and writing additional comments because i went back and re-read this multiple times

- i am not sure when i went from hating this man to wanting to hatefuck this man but yes this fic…only added fuel to the fire… *biting my fist while re-reading this for the nth time*

- i am also equally obsessed with frost as i am with graves here; strong competent/confident women are also my great weakness fic-wise (as are the strong competent/confident men who simp/are tender&gentle for them a la this fic’s graves)

- and once again the worldbuilding here with frosty and her fam and wolf lore is just fascinating!!! something that really stood out to me about this story was how I was just effortlessly drawn in to the plot and how… intuitive (wtf am I writing? idk) the story was to me - graves collecting misfits for his shadows, his whole ass characterization (as someone who’s spent some time in texas/has friends in dallas I heard his lines in graves’ voice seamlessly - high praise for papri’s writing <3) - when he point-blank asks reader “do i make you uncomfortable” - physically trying to put her at ease with his body language yet verbally going for the kill when they first meet- UNFFF aNYWAY I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPLAINING MY SIMPING FOR GRAVES IN WORDS BUT THE WAY PAPRIKA WRITES HIM MAKES ME WANT TO TACKLE AND MAUL HIM AND SIGN MY LIFE AWAY TO SHADOW COMPANY

- feral for the juxtaposition of reader’s bg with shifting/rejecting this quite frankly wild part of herself and graves’ role in helping her accept and embrace it - anyway i didnt really come here to start a treatise on the exploration of shifting as allegory for love/self-acceptance/sexuality in this 5billion word essay i will-

- GRAVES & SHADOW COMPANY RESCUING READER GRAVES & SHADOW COMPANY RESCUING READER GRAVES & SHADOW COMPANY RESCUING READER

- GRAVES GIVING FROST HIS OWN PERSONAL PATCH?????? that probably has his scent too-

- a part of me thought graves being able to sneak up on frost in her truck trying to find the base and her reaching for a plastic straw of all things in reaction to him surprisin her, this trained marine soldier - was a subtle tell that she implicitly trusts graves/doesnt see him as dangerous - sometimes the body just knows

- DEEPLY curious what the photos are of in graves’ office maybe his shadows having a cookout, group selfies &lt;3

- “got any brothers?” dialogue slayed me - i feel like canonwise the way he is fleshed out and built up really makes him the villain people love to hate because of how closely he+shadow company follows/supports 141 pre las-almas face-heel turn and that whole scene of him hyping up his shadows and all i will say is papri now has me fucking emotionally attached to her erikson, lerch, and vance (HE SO DID FIGHT A BEAR, LET HIM HAVE THIS FIGHT ME FROSTY)

- also obsessed with the im just teaching you how to hunt and run as a pack leader should be, it’s just my responsibility this is not-a-date, sooooo not-a-date

-whose vest did frost get indeed still curious

- “You look good,” He commented, quickly finishing the sentence when she cocked an eyebrow up at him. “-In the Shadow Company uniform and wearing our insignia. Like it was made just for you.”

omg i fucking love it when frost flusters graves

- not me googlin indigo bush to see what it looked like to distract myself from the emotional whiplash of the flashback scene of her first shifting (8/10 bush, i would also hide there if there weren’t other options with more foliage)

- shadows regularly falling asleep on graves is now canon for me (and ofc as pack dad/AND peak dad, he’d let them <3)

- “She was unwilling to admit that her scent was laced with something sweet, a glow in her face, and the ache in her bones whenever she passed Graves.”

i love love love LOVE the idea that you can smell crushes amongst wolves <3

- Frost wouldn’t offer that to Graves, he was already gracious enough as it was. But it didn’t stop her from closing her eyes, fantasizing about showing him every version of herself. Letting Graves take her in his arms, telling her the past didn’t matter.

omg this line!! this feeling!!! the YEARNING *sry busy wiping away all the foam coming out of my mouth*

- “Frost, you could tell me you murdered a man and I’d help you dispose of the body. I’m not one to judge.” THEN HE TAKES YOU TO HIS CABIN IN THE WOODS/SECRET DEN????

 FROSTY. I NEED YOU TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES. OK MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT. NOW LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY THIS MAN HAS CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO YOU AND DESIRES TO JOIN YOU IN LEGAL AND HOLY MATRIMONY AND WANTS YOU TO HAVE HIS BABIE-

ALSO WDYM PAST REPEATING ITSELF WHO ELSE HAS DONE THIS FOR OUR FROSTY!?!??!?! I am also in love with all the hints to frost’s backstory

- “Make yourself at home, if you break something, I will make you buy it.” COUGHHISHEARTCOUGH also this is truly such a Graves phrase

-  The light danced in his eyes, his brows knit together as he looked at her. A look of a man who was giving her his full attention. “And affairs of the heart have never been logical.” 

“What are you so scared of, Frost?” He kept his distance, waiting until she was ready to let him in. There was a patience in his tone, something so gentle about the way he spoke that made her knees want to buckle. 

*me, reading this with hearteyes*

- “I can’t change your past, but I can shape the future, and I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve everything you want, everything you crave, and I want to give it to you.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAA if a man said this to me i would probably rip my physical heart out of my chest and offer it up to them, kneeling

- “when she closed her eyes, it wasn’t the night she’d spent with Graves that she thought of, but a painful recollection from her past. It manifested in the physical, with stinging in her eyes and throat.”

pls i want to hug frost and hold her at a respectful distance by her shoulders and tell her it is okay <333333 even with all the hard work u put in to heal (shoutout to therapy and friends and loved ones <3) sometimes even the sweetest of memories and experiences can be tinged with bitterness from trauma; i have also experienced this way too many times and ugh i feel so seen here <3

- He was getting older, he needed someone willing to mate, to commit. And despite her best efforts, she wasn’t ready.

omg i felt a PHYSICAL PANG IN MY CHEST reading this line AAAAAAAAAA MY HEART <3

- this fic is still ongoing but i am absolutely vibrating at the idea that frosty ran all the way back home - like HOME home - basically scene of the crime for her - and graves now entering HER territory UNFH MY BODY IS READY PAPRIIIIIIII <3333

[somebody-in-this-world-who-lives]

Realized I haven't said anything here and oof

This will be a very personal post so before that I want to say I wish Shelby and everyone hurt by Will the very best. These things mess with our minds and I hope she finds peace in the response of the community.

This is just some thoughts I've been having since this whole thing came out that are really more about me but I wanted to get it out so I can move on

Ok so this whole thing feels so weird

I never let myself fully project on many content creators. This doesn't feel like the time I mourned for days thinking back then dream was a terrible person and felt lied to, thank God. This lacks the uncertainty and I dont feel bad its just kind of disconcerting I guess?

I never got that attached to Wilbur as a person since the fanbase was so extreme but if there was one thing (besides the music, I really liked the solo stuff he did) that really resonated with me about him was his mental health advocacy. The way he used to talk about feeling like a bad person, the struggles of being depressed and living in a less than ideal condition, his lyrics about feeling like you are hurting people around you and not being able to stop and all of the stuff people are calling signs now made me feel conforted back than. Maybe I just relate too hard to "loony artists" personas and the almost manic energy of it all. But fuck I was really happy he seamed to still be able to live a happy life with lots of friends with all of this going on like "maybe I can do that too" kind of way. Like, maybe I could not be alone and not end up hurting people by the way that I can be if I tried hard enough and watched myself in every step of the way.

Now knowing he did in fact fuck up people around him it just feels hollow. I know I tend to empathize with abusive characters in media because I fear I'll become like that and feel conforted in then changing but I really thought this was different. For one it's a real ass person I really thought had his shit figured out so like, im so disappointed? And I don't even know how to feel about all the ways we know his abuse manifested now like bitting, expecting her to clean his shit, saying put of pocket creepy stuff that I feel are mistakes I might make if I don't pay attention, I am really trying to hold on to the belief I would not ignore a safeword and that at least part of the behavior was intentional to hurt but it just makes me sick to even be able to draw that many comparisons.

I really have been trying to gather courage to try to be in a relationship this year and let go of the fear I'll end up hurt or/and be absolutely horrible and end up more alone and idk all of this just makes me scared, that someone that walked an artistic path so similar to what I want and that I admired in the past just did that. Like I said it's just disconcerting.

I really hope everyone hurt in this gets better and my sympathy to the people that idolized him for years now, it's probably hard to let go of who you thought this person was. I really just needed to get my feelings out for a second while they are still fresh and easy to tell. All the love for you guys, I'm probably not speaking on this again since it took a very long feelings forward time to type, but I really feel for everyone that feels they have been lied to in this situation because you have and it sucks.

[karouvas]

solace and jasico for the ship think im evil and shit

wrote this last month before I lost access from traveling here is everything I wrote then.

Solangelo

Why don’t you ship it? — I did ship it when I originally read BOO when I was in the seventh grade, because I wanted Nico to be happy and Will was presented as something that would help that. Then I remember liking them a bit less when I first read THO when it came out, not to the extent of hate or anything (and I wouldn’t call it a solid notp or anything now I’m just not particularly fond of it at this time) just found the timeline of them getting together to be rushed and I didn’t love their interactions (not going to speak on what exactly I felt about them because first time reading THO was a blur for me, my feelings on reread are more important to this matter anyway). In the time between then and my reread of the first two series + continuation of ToA this year I was mostly fine with them in theory, but occasionally was a little annoyed by how overrated the dynamic and Will as a character seemed to me from what I could see as I’m always very multifandom and keep pjo fandom on my radar as one of my formatives but was mainly focusing my energy on other media during that time.

When rereading Boo and THO I found their dynamic.. not very appealing in the scenes we get. I can like vitriolic banter when it’s done well but the way it was introduced for Will and Nico in boo came off more as Will being pretty bossy/condescending towards Nico and Nico reacting to that with annoyance + some of his usual becomes-attached-to-anyone-who-shows-any-signs-of-potentially-wanting-him-around thing which is IC for him, but it’s not an introduction I appreciate for one of my favorite chars ever’s endgame canon romance. Other people have made longer posts about this + the general solangelo canon dynamics and implications re: ableism but Will’s dismissiveness toward Nico’s feelings of being ostracized from the camp wasn’t endearing to me either. THO followed the same pattern of their ‘banter’ falling flat for me and reading more as two people kind of disliking each other and not in a fun interesting way like I sometimes go for, and to be fair I think the fact we first see them as an official couple from Apollo’s pov might contribute to this for me, because we don’t have Nico or Will’s narration to make the dynamic feel more lived in and Rick just generally isn’t great at writing couple dialogue for anyone but Percabeth/Fierrochase (and even Percabeth had some dud scenes aka. the Percabeth scenes in boo that are from Piper’s pov so.) And again, I just don’t like the condescension from Will’s end or how pushy he can be about Nico’s boundaries in some scenes. ToN was slightly better in that I think as a duo they were incorporated naturally into a plot (also was just so happy about the Nico and Rachel interactions I was like the the Solangelo here is fine it can be there too hebrew). However two books where I disliked the dynamic + a book where I was neutral + what I’ve seen of the fandom which.. yeah. Ultimately I just don’t enjoy them as a ship at

this time

2.What would have made you like it?

This is an interesting question for this ship in particular because there actually is a book coming out that if things go a certain way could make me like the ship.

I’ll start with changes that could have been made

to what’s already canon. This particular brand of grumpy one sunshine one dynamic is an idea/trope that I just have found less compelling the more time I’ve spent in fandom, so I would play up a subversion of that to start. There is something to Will being a bit more stubborn/intense than you’d expect I just wish that wasn’t presented in him bossing Nico around/telling him His perceptions of Nico’s problems like they’re fact, generally being very I-know-what’s-best-for-you. Maybe if their introduction in boo had them clashing over just different approaches to the battle at hand but not being able to help admire each other even though they’re so different, and then I think setting up them getting together as a slow burn over the course of ToA could’ve worked nicely and the antagonistically working together dynamic could’ve come off far better if they were written as two friends not yet together but with some tension kind of dancing around their actual feelings. Some scenes I had problems with also could’ve been better to me if this was the current dynamic ex: I really didn’t like the scene where Will comments about the kid from the Ares cabins arms and they again ‘banter’ but with what we know of Nico’s insecurities/abandonment issues it comes off (to me) as a scene where he’s genuinely stressed and Will either isn’t cognizant of that or is ignoring it which seems off for a couple who are together / annoys me on Nico’s behalf, but if it were a scene where they weren’t actually together yet it could

 make sense as Will testing to see how Nico reacts/if he likes him based on his reaction and I’d feel better about it. Things like that. And Rick clearly knew how to write this type of bickering dynamic in slow burn for Percabeth so I think maybe this could’ve turned out a lot better. 

Where we are in their story how I could be made to change my tune about their dynamic in TSATS:  will say I’d be a lot more optimistic about the book being able to make me like them if the premise was different, the fact that it’s (at least being pitched this way the actual book could obviously be pretty different) about Tartarus testing the strength of their relationship when we haven’t gotten a first hand experience of that relationship and it’s strengths and flaws other than what can be gleaned from conjecture (which ultimately is why views on the ship are so polarizing, they’re underwritten in canon so readers can interpret things a lot of ways depending on what’s there + how generous or not they are with it). That aside I think since for me the dynamic was a little better in ToN than it had been in the past framing some of their previous interactions as a beginning stage of their relationship they’ve since grown from and in the present Will is supportive in a way that’s less.. overbearing from my pov + we see both of them work for a good relationship (and the things Nico has to work on aren’t framed as ‘it’s Nico’s fault he doesn’t have that many good relationship ‘he needs to work on his people skills’ etc.) I could like it more. I also think seeing Will interact with more important parts of Nico’s life like Hazel or his father or Reyna could help add interesting interactions and conflicts. Another thing I disliked about ToA was how distanced Nico seemed from Hazel and Reyna / it seeming like he didn’t meet them after the war… *sigh* keeping myself from going on a tangent anyway. Ideally I would like the book to make their relationship interesting and compelling, I need it to show me how they work/are a good fit as partners and mainly make me feel good about Will’s place in Nico’s arc. Hopefully I get shippy feelings / emotional attachment from them in the book (I’m keeping my expectations low a) because I like to purposefully keep my expectations low for certain things so I’m not disappointed a habit I developed shortly after BOO was released lol, if it’s fantastic my low expectations can only lead me being more blown away so win-win b)like I said it isn’t a type of dynamic I’m very into these days even if tje execution is made to work now) but what matters most is that I feel good enough about it as a part of Nico’s arc since I don’t even concretely feel that way now. No Will-is-Nico’s-savior/solves all his problems trope. Hopefully no “doctors orders” bit either 

3.Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I am here for the implication that Will has had a crush on Nico for a while before Nico noticed him, I think in a way it’s good for Nico to experience someone not needing to warm to him to see him as worthy of being into and just wanting him in general at the time he meets Will. If the relationship was presented as just Nico seeing what being in a relationship where he’s someone else’s Percy in a sense is like and not his canon-sanctioned endgame like it’s meant to be I’d be a lot less critical of it.

Not necessarily something positive more negative things that I’ve seen said about the ship that I disagree with: 1) It’s not an abusive relationship based on anything in canon 2) I’ve seen people say it’s ooc for Nico to be into Will/want to start a relationship with him so soon and that’s not my issue with anything, again it’s very Nico to latch onto attachments I just haven’t seen any evidence this relationship is good for him 

Jasico

What made you ship it?

I remember when I first read HoH and Boo there were scenes where I thought they had interesting chemistry/found something of interest in the idea but back then as a kid I really hated Jason so ultimately still didn’t want it to happen/invest more interest in it On reread I really started to become actively interested in it / feel things in the Jason pov section directly after the (ugh) Cupid scene section. The scene where they have that balcony argument / tense conversation about belonging/fitting in where Nico voices how Jason has never been unfairly reviled because of who his father is only idolized for it vs later when Jason reflects on this and actually envies Nico’s freedom of expectations as much as Nico envies the respect Jason gets, the more I’ve thought about it the more the ideas behind their arcs are interesting foils to one another which is something that automatically does a lot to appeal a ship to me. And generally this establishes something that really appealed to me which was Nico opening up more to Jason than he does to others and Jason being a lot more expressive/engaged in around or about Nico. Then after that the chalice scene is just.. really romantically coded like more than most scenes in hoo that are actually supposed to be romantic by a lot, and I’m a sucker for a display of trust that’s literally quite deranged (drinking poison because you want to be Very Good Friends with another man) in my ships too, so from there on I was gone and the more I actually thought about it the more reasons I found to be compelled but I’ll get into that more in part 2. Also Generally the way they describe each other at points in HoH and Boo is insane which is also worth mentioning.

2.What are your favorite things about the ship?The dynamic appeals to a lot of tropes or ideas/narrative markers I go for in ships in general, what I said about narrative foils is a huge draw for me so is characters going from disliking each other to comrades/allies to establishing more trust to friends, prep x goth ship. I love the care present in how they think of/worry about each other throughout boo, also easy to read yearning vibes into it especially from Jason’s side in pov. Honestly the fact that they’re both repressed as fuck but different ways is so fun to me because soo much potential for pining and slow burn and angst/insecurity all of my fav things lol and now that I’ve started reading some fics really respect how much writers go all in for these things w the pairing. As an opposites attract pairing there’s a lot I love about the idea of two people who are othered in different ways in seemingly opposite ways like Nico has been ostracized and underestimated and felt excluded or undervalued in relationships while Jason tends to be a put on a pedestal for who his dad is and being idolized in relationships can also be stifling/harmful, so there’s something very compelling about that idea combined with certain other parallels like they both have sisterly abandonment issues etc. for similar circumstances. I think a lot of Jason’s dynamics are hard for me to fully connect with and in general his POV is hard to connect with because he’s so passive in most dynamics/storylines, but the way he is about Nico post challice is very overexcited golden retriever energy, like very much the vibe of being oh so flattered that the cool mysterious boy has given the vaguest indication of ‘okay we can be friends I guess’ and then he’s just so over-the-top enthusiastic about Nico after that it’s so very funny, and I also do think it’s interesting to think about why that reaction exists. I said this before but I do like that Jason has to put in a bit of work for the relationship (specifying ‘a bit’ because the Cupid scene as a conduit for them to interact is lazy has a lot of issues (I was more willing to gloss over how that starts the dynamic on reread because on reread of this series in general I think most dynamics that weren’t pre-existing before the series or the Nico and Hazel/Reyna dynamics were jump started in lazy ways because Rick didn’t want to put thought into how they’d get to know each other, so it’s not a roadblock to me liking the ship like it probably was on first read, I see it as a featurebug of how the series was written rather than specific to the dynamic ) and Jason’s reaction was the bare minimum (but still would be important to Nico I think both things are true) so the ‘work’ I mean is mostly not giving up on reaching Nico afterwards) while Nico gets to be on the receiving end of support it’s not the role either of them usually take in a dynamic/storyline so I think it’s an interesting place for both characters. I think Nico would really benefit from being with someone that level of adoring and devoted to him who doesn’t overstep his boundaries (the bar is very low but I did also really like the difference between HoH where Nico snaps at Jason not to touch him without permission vs Boo where Jason really wants to hug Nico but holds himself back until Nico acquiesces verbally (and even being bare minimum I do feel a lot better about it compared to Will always telling Nico what to do grabbing his hand without permission etc. so lmao on that front) and getting to be the person who makes a very stoic buttoned-up person Worse/less sane, I just love how powerful he would feel thanks to making the golden boy worse lol. I think Jason symbolically sort of represents a lot of things Nico has always wanted, so I love the potential fulfillment for Nico’s narrative through this and like the validation of it 

. I also think the relationship from a story pov would have a lot of interesting ramifications for plot for being two big three kids and relationships with other characters like Reyna Hazel Percy Thalia Leo Piper etc. so I love thinking about that, and I think Nico would more naturally be involved in these dynamics if he was with Jason one of my gripes about canon rn is how Will is prioritized in ToA for Nico over all other relationships for no reason :/. Also the idea of Reyna shovel talking Jason is iconic. Really like I said I think on every level the more I think about it the more it makes sense and the more into it I am.

3.Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?we’ll just say that technically preferring Jasico to Solangelo is unpopular already. I do also think though that it being more interesting to me is partially just about Rick’s writing and how he tends to write relationships intended to be platonic as more interesting and having more chemistry than his romances that aren’t Percabeth and Fierrochase, and especially true for hoo pairings for instance the way Pipabeth or Pipeyna are developed as opposed to Jiper, Leo’s relationships with Jason or Frank as opposed to Calypso and Hazel etc. I do think that’s just a common feature in the way he writes dynamics.

Um. But also I felt much more passionate about all of this last month. I still stand by everything but after reading the tsats snippet in SoH that I read I’m kind of abandoning any of the optimism I had about it.

(Ship ask meme from a while back)

[altered-intellect]

ok so i need to gush about the Everything is OK Show by Studio Flimpo. its like 6 minutes and it brought me to tears. Its so, so good, please, please, please go watch it. Link here (https://youtu.be/61JyO-_Feoo?si=aqDg2PZdsiTZnRLW)

ok so first off everything about this short has phenomenal execution. the writing is so fluid and personal. I can not get over how attached I got to both Albert and Marcel. Albert changes his tense all the time as he talks with Marcel, signifying his omniscience. The voice acting is incredibly good and upon re-watches the tone of both levity and somberness are just perfectly conveyed. Do I even have to talk about the animation!? Its so bouncy and dynamic, with the painterly back grounds and lined characters fitting together beautifully. The colors, lighting and details all scream passion and love for the craft. Then on top of all that the plot is so tightly wound up in ever part of the presentation. Death is both deeply existential and hilarious, regret is never mentioned but permeatesthe whole story, and the comedy is on point. Terry Pratchett would be proud.

One of my favorite details of the plot is the Last Wish of each soul. As Marcel falls from the sky He says his Wish is to make a mark on the world and while Albert says this isn't the case I think the fact its included in the Show means that Albert was simplifying the situation. Marcel didn't want to make a mark "the world" but the world of his crush. This manifested as his Last Wish being to admit his love and painting the sky for him.

The silence as he says "i love you" and cut to the balcony scenes was the thing that broke me. The moment was so personal that it was cut out of the Show, despite being the whole point of it. You don't broadcast sacred things to an audience, because then it would no longer be so.

I have so many questions about how The Show works. Albert is definitely capital D, Death or at least a major psychopomp. My first thought was if the Everything is OK Show is a thing Albert made for Marcelor as a construct that is unique to his cultural background or just a thing Albert does to all souls. Maybe its both??? I imagine the Show would look different for a neanderthal, a medieval dishwasher, or a Buddhist monk. Maybe instead resembling the story telling methods that the individual soul is familiar with. The Show for Marcel was ambiguously stated to be a talk and game show. This was probably because Marcel was familiar both and his wanted to be noticed as an artist. This made the Show manifest as a strange combo of the two. The Show would probably manifest as a mural on a cave for the neanderthal and Albert as a oral and pictographic story teller. The dishwasher would have a theater and Albert as a play director. The monk might have a monastery and Albert as a fellow monk. I think with would make sense as all of these different mediums could be contextualize through eachother through the common point of the Last Wish being a narrative device.

Then there is the Contract. Albert says he is contractually obligated to guide people to enact their final wish and then through the Door to Everything. Did he get this omniscience from this Contract? Did this also make him omnipotent too? What was he before? Was he made by the Contract as a way to guide the dead? These are all irrelevant questions but I can't stop myself.

Also, Albert is by far my favorite, hes a short king, he makes fun of how you died, hes the existential guide to infinite, hes the kindest person you'll ever meet, he signs contracts with his initials arranged to be a cock. im in love

[nicolewoo]

Super Earth Part 2 Awkward

Pairing: Roman Reigns X reader

Warnings: None

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/nicolewoo/729014295464148992/super-earth-a-one-night-stand-pairing-roman?source=share

“Let’s get to it then.” Jamie said as the door closed behind us.

Super Earth Part 2: Awkward

As the meeting was breaking up, as casually as I could, I said “ummm Dr…..” I trailed off, leafing through my papers, pretending I didn’t remember his name. “Reigns. Could you stay for a minute? I have questions about the samples you’re bringing.” He nodded and pretended to read an email on his phone as people filed out.

“We’ve got to go! The press conference is starting now!” Jamie argued.

I leveled her with my stare. “You’ve gotta stall for a few minutes.”

She was getting curious. “What should I say?”

“Tell them we had to talk about my samples” he said as he smirked behind Jamie’s back. She took the hint and left without another word.

Dr. Reigns, leaned against the conference table, folding his arms across his chest. “You’re the mission commander.” He said.

“And you’re one of the scientists.” I answered. Then, a second later, we both chuckled. “The last thing I expected to see when I came in here was……” I started.

“Last night’s no-named, no strings attached one night stand?” He laughed. I stood next to him, leaning against the table too.

“Well…. I mean… “

He chuckled, looking at me. “One little fling before leaving for a year?” I nodded. “That was what last night was supposed to be for me too, but” he turned toward me “last night was amazing.” I nodded. “And I felt like we really connected.” When I agreed again, he smiled wide. “This is……” he paused to find the right words.

“Awkward?” I asked.

He reached for my hand, pulling me towards him a bit. “I was going to say a gift.” When I looked confused, he continued. “I didn’t want last night to end. I wanted more time with you, and here we are. We get to spend the next year together.”

I started shaking my head no. “I can’t!” My words surprised him. “It’s just….. Do you know how long it took me to get this assignment? I’ve wanted to see Super Earth since we first sent colonists. After all my years of hard work, I can’t….” I couldn’t figure out how to say it without hurting him. “Last night was amazing, and the idea of spending the next year together is so tempting. But… what will the crew think if I start sleeping with you? What will my company think? I may end up ruining everything I’ve worked so hard to……..”

He pulled me close to him. Close enough that my mind wandered back to last night…. The passion…. The bliss… Towering over me dominantly, he spoke so quietly, I could barely hear him. “Stop. Stop thinking.” I looked up at him. “Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll never mention last night again. Tell me you want to spend the next year as nothing but co-workers. Tell me your body isn’t yearning to press against mine.”

I couldn’t deny it. My body was craving him. My heart was craving him. “I can’t say that.” I hung my head as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into an embrace.

He pressed a kiss into my hair. “Then we will be discreet.”

I pulled back enough that I could look up at him. “Discreet? There’s no discretion…no privacy on a ship with 40 people.”

He chuckled, “We will find a way.” I was still hesitant. He tucked a finger under my chin, raising my face to meet his. “I promise. We’ll find a way to spend time together. I brought a chess board. Maybe we have a nightly game of chess. But I truly believe this is a sign we are supposed to be together.”

I was skeptical, but I wanted him to be right. I wanted it so much. This was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop my heart.

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