#maybe the moon knows. but maybe she forgets. she has phases as well

[sirenjose]

Hullabaloo (Manor Game) Timeline

(Theory based on the letters)

1. Most initially think Joker = Sergei

- Violetta and Margaretha at least initially do

- Mike seems to realize who "Sergei" really is based on Joker’s limping

2. “Rehearsal Schedule” left on the table

- Found by Violetta, who shares it with everyone

* Maybe the “rehearsal schedule” is the nursery rhyme referenced by Violetta and Joker?

3. Disagreements/Factions: Margaretha and Joker, Mike and Murro (with Violetta)

- Someone finds a phonograph/record and plays “Smiley Face Polka”

- Margaretha realizes Sergei = Joker

- Margaretha confronts Joker, sharing how she knows who he is and asks him to ally himself with her for protection against Mike, who she thinks will kill her

- Meet that night

4. (?) Joker gives Margaretha a music box - Joker notices Margaretha’s room has a strange smell - Joker notices a bottle with a strange marking (drug?)

5. (?) Margaretha gives Joker a letter + tells Joker about “the perfume”

6. Joker thinks the “play” is a “fight”

- Baits (“invites”) Violetta by using the excuse of “searching for ‘inspiration’”

- Removes Violetta’s mechanical leg, immobilizing her

- Throws her out of the manor and leaves her to die in the snow

* Joker may have somehow used “the perfume” on Violetta as part of his plan?

- Violetta also saw a nursery rhyme, likely the same one Joker referenced ("We will forget everything in the past and gain new life")

- "The perfume" may be Mnemosyne/Euphoria. Caused Violetta to forget?

7. Mike begins to discover the truth(?)

- "From the moment Violetta was assaulted, Mike had a vague answer to his questions.."

- "It took that incident to make me realize that this so-called family of ours is no better than a stinking sewer"

8. Margaretha fears Joker after what he does to Violetta - Joker seemingly tells Margaretha the "sacrifice" was potentially necessary for the next phase of the game to begin

(?). At some point, Margaretha loses the music box Joker gave her.

9. Game begins - "Guest performance" (planned by Mike and Murro to crush Margaretha and Joker's alliance)

* The "guest" may be Violetta (who may have forgotten quite a bit due to the perfume)

- Truth behind the Moon River Park tragedy is exposed

* Tragedy (or circumstances/situation?) in the circus "repeated itself" and Joker's "armor of lies" crumbled.

* Joker couldn't face his "bare" self (unmasked?), and he lost control of his emotions (mental breakdown)

* Regarding this “guest performance” and the truth of the Hullabaloo tragedy being revealed, Mike may have pretended to be Sergei or Joker or something (maybe Mike as Sergei was the “guest” rather than Violetta? Or maybe alongside her?), based on Mike saying “you didn’t expect white and cinnabar to trick all of you”. Cinnabar being a shade of red, along with white, are some of the colors we see on Joker/Weeping Clown’s face. And as we know Mike was figuring out the truth, it’s possible, based on his sarcastic mention of “Sergei” that he might’ve been trying to reveal who Joker was, as well as what he did, considering his previous letter mentions how, after Violetta was attacked, that Mike “had a vague answer to his questions” (aka the truth) and “light was shone on the numerous dark events of the past”. This could then explain Joker’s “lies” being torn away and the reference to his “bare self”. If Mike maybe understood some of who Joker was, maybe even slightly had an idea to Joker’s inferiority complex, maybe that would’ve contributed even more to why Joker would lose control of his emotions?

Joker's protectiveness for Margaretha "transforms into coercion"

Margaretha goes to extremes. "Lady luck didn't smile on her this time"

* "I-If he really does make me his next target, I will never give him the chance, and I won't let myself be fooled again!"

* If the circus tragedy "repeated itself", Margaretha originally escaped from Moonlit River Park during the tragedy via jumping into the river. If "lady luck didn't smile on her this time", she may not emerge from the river this time

Joker falls into a depression from losing Margaretha

Mike gives up on revenge (family is most important to him) and "remained on the stage he'd missed for so long"

Mike realizes "his stage of happiness only existed in that short peaceful memory. Once his core value collapsed, Mike couldn't face reality in a mature manner anymore.

Mike’s “Grand Performance”

* Mike seeks the truth, closure.

* "I've even prepared a grand performance for it — an explosive performance! Bernard was always against it due to safety concerns, but he failed to realize that burning up in a sea of flames is the best ending "Hullabaloo" could ever have!"

10. Ending

Hullabaloo burns? (Mike doesn't plan to escape/survive with Murro)

Joker "followed in Margaretha's footsteps"

* If Margaretha jumped into the river, maybe he attempts the same thing?

Murro is the sole survivor

As for the trailer for the Hullabaloo event/game, based on Mike being on stage and the main person shown, and him specifically addressing Sergei, no one else being seen, I assume this could be part of Mike's "Grand Performance"?

(If not, I imagine it's the "guest performance")

[angelaherexd]

The Amazing Digital Circus Roles (School edition, with description!)

Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing good! In this blog, I will tell you on what I think The Amazing Digital Circus roles are, but in school! Let's get started! (I've been wanting to do this for a few weeks/months now and now it's finally here!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

First off, we have Gangle. That depressed ribbon girl that loves anime. I think her role will be the quiet nerd who hides what she loves to prevent being made fun of. Jax would surely make fun of her for liking anime.

Next, we have Zooble. That "non-binary" person who went through emo phases. Their role would surely be the quiet emo who looks like they could kill any minute, staring at people non-stop while chewing bubblegum. But, on the side, they probably want to be "perfect" for once.

Kinger. Crazy chess piece. He would be the guy who never shows up to class and constantly forgets where he was going to go to class, what time is it, etc etc... You would probably find him hiding in a corner of a random bathroom stall. Insects would lighten up his mood though. Definitely one of the weirdos of the school.

Ragatha, the nice person who would always help people no matter what happens and no matter how people would treat her, despite her anger issues. Probably the nice popular girl. She helps people, but no one helps her. Basically invisible and scared to ask for help during her lows.

Jax. That purple haired bunny jerk that you all simp for for no reason. Definitely a jock that makes fun of everyone and thinking that he can get any girl anytime but in reality, everyone hates and is scared of him. Definitely threw basketballs at people's faces.

Pomni. The new girl. No need for explanations.

Caine, probably the principal that doesn't understand anyone's feelings. Teleports and jump scares every teacher at any time and floats around randomly anywhere being annoying.

Bubble, just bubble. (Psst... Vice principal) CAINE SAID SO!

Kaufmo, the school clown who got expelled for doing pranks too far. Why didn't Jax get expelled first? Well, he blames it on a special someone. Who? Figure it out.

Queenie, the girlfriend of Kinger... Who went missing for a long time.

Gummigoo, Max and Chad, the trio school shooters. Who knows, they got arrested? Maybe, maybe not.

Princess Loolilalu, the prom queen that wins every single year.

The Fudge, tried to steal the "Prom King" role but failed miserably and got in trouble.

Moon, that one teacher who has a huge crush on the principle. (Caine)

Sun, that one teacher who secretly hates and wants to kill the principle unless they get a huge raise.

And that is all! Thank you for reading this blog and have a nice day! Make sure to like, follow, reblog and share for more! My YouTube channel: AngelaPlayzChess!

Who knows? Maybe I will make fanart and my own AU of this in the future with your support and my improvements. Just maybe... Bye for now! One more week of school for me left till I organize and start making chess videos again! Comment down below if you want me to do any other characters!

[wholesomefluffdaddy]

Wednesday's new court mandated therapist is having her keep a journal of her thoughts and feelings. Wednesday finds this to be a complete waste of time and decides instead to use it to record her observations of her unusual roommate Enid Sinclair. Wednesday POV.

——————————————

Entry 10

Current Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent 🌒

While the topic of packmates was brought up and it was confirmed that we are indeed packmates, Enid and I have yet to define it's parameters. I plan to discuss the matter with her prior to her accompanying me to my appointment. I shall have to remember to record our agreed upon definition upon my return as I have found my current affliction to cause me to forget things, along with temporarily losing my ability to converse in English.

-YourFavoriteFruitBat is now livestreaming-

"What's up my LGBTs! And by that I mean Lycans, Gorgons, Babes, and Transylvanian Transplants! Today I'm here with an update on Nevermore's hottest slowburn of the century: Wenid Watch! But seriously guys, we need to come up with a better ship name than that. Moving on! What's new with everyone's favorite golden retriever good girl and bad tempered black cat? Let's find out!"

"And while we're on the hunt for our clueless couple, our would-be werelovers, let's check in with chat. Scales_of_Sapphire says 'You're going to get a stake to the heart.' Hey, that's the price of journalism baby. Ston3dGaz3r says 'That's my ex' frowny face. Oof sorry Ajax but the people want what the people want! And it looks like we have time for one more-! Oh shit, my girl just texted me. Give me one minute chat… DIV! You can't send me these kind of pics during a livestream!"

"Chat if only you knew the kind of tail I was getting. Let's just say this fruit bat has a thing for sashimi if you know what I mean. Wait, hold on chat, I think we've spotted one half of our hapless duo. There she is, the one black cat you certainly don't want crossing your path, Wednesday Addams. What's she up to? Let's sneak over while still maintaining a safe distance. Goth girls like these could go off at any moment without the slightest warning and- Shit! Sorry! Almost didn't see you there Enid!"

"What are you doing Yoko?"

"Just showing the lovely people of Nevermore the latest drama around the quad. Isn't that right chat?"

"How do you have so many viewers right now?"

"Ah, well, you know how everyone loves the latest gossip."

"What gossip? Wait. Oh my god-! Did Cario and CC get back together?"

"Girl, who-? Nevermind. Hey, I saw Wednesday sulking off in the corner over-"

"Oh, she's not sulking. She's just waiting for her mate."

"…Her WHAT? Enid! Get back here! Chat, you heard that too, right? What in the-?"

"Hey Willa."

"Enid."

"Oh my god. Chat, are you seeing this!? Did these two actually find a map to navigate themselves out of denial? I don't believe it. I've got to get closer."

"I hope that was an adequate enough greeting."

"More than adequate, silly."

"I see. Dos besos. I shall commit it to memory."

"So what did you want to talk about? Don't you have your appointment soon?"

"Sí, I mean yes, that is precisely why I must discuss this with you. It was my assigned homework and I do not wish to return with it incomplete."

"Okay, so what's up?"

"Our… relationship. I must request your assistance in defining it."

"Oh!"

"What is it that you require of me?"

"Require of you?"

"Yes, what duties shall I be expected to complete?"

"Willa, I don't… I'm not expecting you to do anything other than being yourself. That's what I like most about you."

"…"

"…You want a checklist, don't you?"

"That would be greatly appreciated, yes."

"Okay, well, um, what do you think you need to do in our relationship? Maybe we could go from there?"

"Ah, yes, I assume that is as good a starting point as any. I believe I have a duty to protect you to the best of my abilities."

"Okay and?"

"And I should bring you sustenance, seeing as you have for me."

"Fair."

"And I shall continue to demonstrate my hunting prowess, perhaps with prey larger than the current ones I have been offering."

"Wait, you've been hunting?"

"Yes, I- Have the spiders really been so unsatisfactory?"

"That's why you've been bringing me spiders!?"

"I- I apologize if their size has been too meager, if you do not even consider them prey. I can-"

"Willa, I'm going to stop you right there."

"Yes, of course."

"Okay, so we don't have time to unpack all of that. Maybe that's something you can do at therapy today. Anyway! Wednes, why do you think you need to hunt for me?"

"I… Lo siento- I am deeply sorry for offending you, mi loba- Enid. I understand that you are perfectly capable of hunting greater prey than the pittance I foolishly deemed fit to bring you."

"Willa…"

"How may I make up for this egregious error on my part?"

"You don't."

"Pardon?"

"Wednes, you didn't make a mistake. I mean, you did, but not in a thoughtless or mean way."

"But I have incorrectly assumed-"

"Yeah, you tend to do that a lot without checking."

"Please, help me understand my misstep. I want to know exactly where my misplaced presumption lies so that I do not make it again."

"Okay so, uh, let's see… First of all, you don't have to hunt for me. And not because I think you're bad at it or because the 'prey' isn't big enough because, holy shit Willa, some of those spiders were massive! But that's not the point. I don't need you to hunt for me because I don't need it. I don't hunt."

"But the night of the Hunter's Moon-"

"That was like, uncontrollable instinct. I don't hunt. I don't need to. Everything I need I can just get here."

"I see."

"But I think that it was a very sweet gesture, you hunting for me and everything."

"Than I shall-"

"No more spiders! Willa, please, if you have to hunt for anything please let it be like chocolate or steak tartar or cute plushies."

"Noted. I find it fascinating that you are able to consume chocolate despite your canis lupus genetics."

"Yeah, well, I can't have as much of it the closer it gets to the full moon or I get really bad tummy aches."

"I shall keep that in mind, mon loup."

"Hey Willa? Can I ask you something?"

"But of course."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Speaking in different languages when you get flustered?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"No, no! Don't get upset! I think it's really cute!"

"Muy linda! Me insultas! Qué he hecho para merecer esto?"

"Willa I have no idea what you're saying but you look adorable."

"Adorable? Je suis tellement en colère que je ne peux même pas parler!"

"Aw, Wednes."

"Cosa fai? Liberami, lupa crudele!"

"Let's get you to your appointment, πουλάκι μο."

"…?"

"Wait."

"…!"

"You don't know Greek?"

"…"

"Really?"

"…"

"Well, maybe I could teach you some Greek words on the way and maybe you could teach me some words in… whatever language you slip into the most?"

"…I find your terms agreeable, mia lupa."

"Holy shit chat! Did you catch all of that? Wait, what do you mean I'm muted? Fuuuuuck!"

-YourFavoriteFruitBat has ended the livestream-

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #6

Department of Magical Violations, here we go!

"With a pair quite strange!" Got it, got it.

Ooh, this title card implies Jorgen~!

SLKDJF, did Wanda become a seahorse immediately after they were complaining they spent so long as fish last episode?

Whoa, we're already 100 wishes forward in the future? That leaves a lot of wiggle room. Show me the moon phase; you know you want to...

Yep, she likes the fish guy from the theme. His name is Kennueth.

That cat photo is driving me up the wall. Is it Mittens, who hangs around Dinkleberg? I really feel like I've seen this cat...

Oh, Jorgen's gotten older! As he should have, I suppose, though you wouldn't think this would have been such a significant time jump for him. I'm not sure I love it.

sdfklj, I'm glad we're sticking with "Jorgen is in charge of godparents." Like... that man has no legal rights to Fairy World. He's over godparents and that has always kinda been his thing.

His braces are too big...

I'm glad SOMEONE here is yelling at them for not filing godparent paperwork. You sniped someone else's godkid assignment, you dummies!!

Wish Inspection! It's back! THE DMV! It's also back?? ... With fewer flying cars this time, but... wow. Didn't expect that one.

"Tedious structure and drab settings is my happy place" - Hazel, I know a race of magical beings you would love to hang out with.

I'm glad "I wish he had a trampoline instead" [of a parachute] turned out exactly the way I envisioned.

Jorgen has not changed at all, and he still loves dancing with bright lights around. I support him. I feel like they've not emphasized his sliced-off wings to new viewers, though.

Cookie: I know what you want. Hazel, who did not want a car:

I see where this is going.

Cosmo's cute pocket <3

Teacher's Pal

Nottttt sure it was a great idea to make one character's whole personality saying "Football," but let's see where it's going.

Aw, I like that Hazel's school has squirrels as a mascot since Timmy had the Squirrely Scouts.

... huh? was that Timmy?

Cosmo: Does she not know how a door works?

Tough talk for Fairies who like poofing doors away.

She likes mushrooms and anime... What a combo.

Having Dimmy as a nickname for the Dimmadomes is really gonna throw me off (Sounds like "Timmy").

Oof, did she wish for all the teachers to like her? And does that make the lady who doesn't like her... the principal? (Yes)

Wow, we are on a streak of brown and orange eyes. Who knew they were all hiding in Dimmadelphia?

... Is that Grey DeLisle / Grey Griffin voicing the principal? (It is!)

His shades are too big...

This is an attack against me specifically.

OKAY I thought I was going crazy during the quick glances earlier, but YES, that IS Timmy as the mascot! Oh, RIP...

He haunts history even when he's gone, as he should.

Bigfoot Club sounds like something Hazel's dad would want her to sign up for.

Okay, so it's end of 5th grade, so she's 10-turning-11?

OH, Wanda just called Hazel "squirt..." It's so similar to "sport." That's cute.

???

Where is Dev? Where is he?

Forget Dev- What is up with this kid?

Dev is running around somewhere, unsupervised. He just dipped out halfway through the episode. There were no teachers to make him stay and he's rich. I expect no less.

A little less upbeat and dramatic than the debut episode, but that's not a surprise. I'd say it fits the theme of the old show really well. I look forward to more, though I do think Jorgen's appearance wasn't pushed as far as it could've been. On the other hand, it's perfectly in character that he doesn't want to spook Hazel as much as he wants to spook Cosmo and Wanda.

Got through a bit faster than expected, so maybe a little more watching.

[cobra-wives]

Hi, first of all, I love your blog, especially your art.

I wanted to write as I saw you reblog a gifset of Sam and Robby and put "if we got miyagi-do robby I maintain that we needed cobra sam." I totally agree! and it's something I would like to see in fic or art (I would try to write something if I could figure out the right plotting). sam is the only one who hasn't changed dojos - up until S6, tory was a cobra before switching sides; demetri seems to be miyagi-do only, but he attempted to join cobra kai first - and when she learnt eagle fang style from Johnny, it worked really well for her. I just want to put her in that scenario (cobra kai).

when I saw someone else liked the idea of cobra sam, I wanted to share my thoughts.

"well look who isn't their daddy's daughter."

"...you aren't so bad yourself, sensei lawrence."

a cobra! sam au, where she trains under sensei lawrence - some thoughts and ideas below the cut!

johnny lawrence is living in the dumps. he's got a wimpy little kid as a neighbor, a shitty old car, and an even shittier stepfather who he's kinda glad is cutting him off. samantha larusso is going into her sophomore year of high school and she's already dreading it. dreading the time she has to spend with her new "friends," missing aisha, and feeling the pressure of being her father's little larusso. surely they're not so different.

the car crash happens. in this version of the story, sam is closer to herself - it's the middle of the night, and she doesn't wanna be in the car with two other screaming teenage girls. there's some kind of energy in the old, dimly lit parking lot, pushing her to get out - or maybe it's moon kicking her out of the car to deal with the drunk old white man - but she's suddenly on the curb and staring up at this old guy with a scruffy beard, who looks... some flavor of miserable.

"i've got... money. my dad-"

"i've heard the story a billion times, kid. lived it too." he looks in the direction of yasmine's car, how it left skid marks on the asphalt and stunk up the air between them. "fuck's up with your friends?"

sam bristles. "they're not-" my friends, sam wants to say, but the words are too heavy for her to push out. johnny looks at his dented car and groans - "me and these fucking cars this week. first it's that damn ad, then it's that fuckass billboard-"

"i know what you're talking about," sam sighs. she sets her bag onto the pavement next to where he's sitting on a parking stub, sitting beside him but clutching her keys in slight caution. "my dad is... an embarrassment."

johnny's eyes widen. "shit, kid - what's your name?"

"samantha. but since we're gonna be here for a while, you can call me sam. sam la-"

"russo."

he tosses the bag of alcohol behind him, cleaning himself up with a grin aligning his face and a pathetic sniffle. here's the part where they clean themselves up, where they fear the mention of her father's last name and look at her like she's a rich encino princess.

"johnny. johnny lawrence," he says. "your dad kicked me in the face 33 years ago."

who knows how it goes from here. sam gets to hear the story from a different view, from johnny's side. johnny sees a version of himself from 33 years ago - raised a rich brat, with dismissive parents who thought oh sure, phases came and went. first it was friendship bracelets, then it was scrunchies and makeup and then it was boyfriends and oh, then it was off to college! he knows what it feels like to not want to be your father.

it's a horrible decision. it's the worst decision he'll ever make in his life - well, maybe, going to the beach on that fateful night might contend for number one - but the thought of it sparks some kind of rich flame in his muscles. this sam girl is every ounce of her father's worst traits - hot headed, entitled, and so ready to fight.

she'd make the perfect cobra.

"i scratch your back, you scratch mine," johnny proposes. "what says we forget everything that happened here, and you come to my dojo and train with me? i bet your daddy would go nuts if he saw you in a cobra kai gi."

"you're crazy," sam chuckles, but her grip loosens on her keys. "i have one rule."

"sure you do. you larussos and your rules." johnny raises his eyebrow, amenable.

"you call me sam, and only sam. no miss larusso, no little larusso, all that shit. and in your dojo, that's my name. got it?"

johnny grins. shakes her hand. "you got it. sam."

who knows where the story goes from here. we get to see a darker version of sam, caught between two versions of herself. the impulsive, violent, and hot headed part of herself that johnny feeds - the side that ends up hurting the people she loves, the side that makes her feel powerful, but wrong. the passive, fearful little girl her father wants her to be. the part that lets demetri's arm get broken, that watches all her friends get hurt and the part that loses to that nichols girl. (that nichols girl, oh she's tough. but she's not the best. she can't be the best, because she's the best and if she isn't, she's nothing to nobody and that's even worse than being a pawn.)

and no matter where she goes, she's only a pawn in a man's game; whether that man be johnny, kreese, hell, even her own father. it's a tough time for a girl to find herself in a man's world. how she does it is only up to her - and that can be the scariest decision ever.

[seth-burroughs]

Anyway... headcanon post: Yomi is cognitively impaired. Sources? the depths of my twisted mind ;3

Sometimes has quote unquote good days where his symptoms don't get as severe (or he/others don't think they do), sometimes he gets worse, it varies on the phase on the moon, the earth's axis and the horoscope. (according to Guillaume, it's all because he's a libra) (he attempts to squash her like a bug every time but she's just too fast man.....)

Slow reaction times (although it gets weird sometimes). Sometimes it's delayed by just a second or a few, sometimes for way more which causes problems ranging from mild annoyance to literally almost dying via honda tire. An example of this is when he might walk to a crosswalk, forgets that he actually needs to check if any cars are coming, walks onto traffic, oh look a car. He notices a car car coming, stops, knows he should move out of the way in that scenario, but it just doesn't occur to him to do that, and he just stands there staring almost completely frozen, deer-style, until finally either, A.) he realizes "oh shit I'm about to get ran over so that's what's happening maybe" and fucking bolts to the side at literal last minute, or B.) the driver stops for him and is about to leave the car and scream at him about it, before noticing that's the director and almost shitting themselves from raw fear then profusely apologizing. You know those crosswalks at Kanai Ward, that detect pedestrians and stop oncoming traffic for them? While they were mostly created for the citizens, an also big reason why they were able to exist is because the Yomi Squad funded it so well in order to stop him from killing himself one day. The bicycle paths are still a problem though and have claimed many of his bones to this day

Knows the city pretty well (allegedly), and is able to get around via yomi autopilot. He just walks with zero (or extremely irrelevant) thoughts in his head, not paying attention to almost anything, just getting guided by habit/reflex/walking on the same path so often he just memorizes when to turn or enter while not even having to look where he's going, you get me right? He'll probably be fine. As long as he doesn't snap out of it and regain consciousness. In that case he's reminded he exists, looks around, thinks "where the fuck am I", remembers what he's supposed to do after a moment, but then forgets how he even gets there in the first place and is effectively lost. So what he does is to recount every single detail, instruction and direction in which path he usually takes to get him to a point where he is currently (which might. take a While), and then he finally remembers where he is and can carry on as usual. Do NOT disturb him in this state or he will completely lose his train of thought and get incredibly pissed he has to do it all over and violently take it out on you or perhaps even everyone around too.

^How he deals with the above things is that he simply very, very rarely travels without somebody else, which either Martina or F-Zilch (not counting occassional Cop Entourage as that's a bit different). If they aren't available, he either picks some other (preferably quiet, the chatty types are always the most insufferable) employee of his, or just goes alone or refuses to leave his house at all that day.

Sometimes when someone is speaking to him he can feel that he's not gonna register any word of what they're gonna say and just loses focus. No, he won't ask them to repeat themselves, that's for pussies like Seth, if he didn't hear whatever it is they wanted to tell him then maybe it just isn't that important. Maybe.

Takes an awful long time to shower, as soon as his skin makes contact with water he ceases awareness of existing and he has to wait until he remembers he's alive until he keeps going. (though that isn't the sole reason as to why he cannot do it faster. but it's a part in it)

Tries to make an effort to keep track of important events via lists, reminder notes and planners, or frequently ends up asking his vice director Martina about certain things that happened beforehand (if they did at all) or are about to happen, since he's for sure not gonna remember that himself. Usually, at least. Sometimes he does have his memory down to every detail but only concerning certain things his shit brain cares about more, such as "during that exact time that evening Seth blinked at you rather disrespectfully" or "here's that masked freak's speech to you that morning, perfectly recalled, down to the last detail, for you to dissect and get mad about for the remainder of the week"

All of these annoy, stress out and infuriate him greatly

[farewell-superiors]

I’m having so many thoughts about @ammstify’s persona 6 idea for it being about nature and being based on Arthurian legend but as more of a spin-off but I’m in the “pacing while brainstorming” phase which means that I have too much energy to sit down and actually write down my ideas so I may as well start a post that’s like… just a bunch of ramblings about ideas. Have so at least it’s WRITTEN DOWN and I won’t forget anything. If I think enough I might even make a fanfic in the style of steal the truth (which you should absolutely read btw it’s genuinely one of the best video game adaptations with how well it integrates persona’s calendar mechanic and social links into its story structure) but that would require a lot of foresight and planning (hence why u want to WRITE SHIT DOWN)

Anyway here goes. Spoilers for something that I just made up but might make into an actual thing in the future I guess lol

The themes are about growth (there's LOTS of plant imagery), moving on, and how it gets better (the sun will always rise, darkest before dawn, etc. (there's a lot of day/night imagery as well)), and it looks at the relationship between humans and the environment.

The setting will probably be Kyoto, or at least some city, but I'm undecided about whether the characters are high school or uni students. Both have their pros and cons and I just have to figure them out. I'm leaning towards Uni?

The actual persona elements take place in the sea of souls, although it's more accurate to say the field of souls, as it's an undending field of grass, flowers, and the odd tree/hill, with every bit of flora representing a life. Select people will travel to the sea of souls in their sleep, but sleeping in the sea of souls won't get you out, so if someone is there without a way out, it looks like they're in a coma. If they happen to die in there (haven't completely figured out shadow mechanics yet, don't know if day/night cycles in the sos would be over a few weeks (to represent the collective unconscious) or over a characters journey (because it's cool imagery)) the body will start growing vines and leaves as their pulse slowly fades.

One way to get out is through the velvet room: In the sea of souls there is a battlefield, with velvet blue warbanners rising amongst the bloodstained foliage, and in the centre is a familiar long nosed man sitting on a particularly comfy looking rock, with a warrior clad in a deep blue leather armour brandishing a spear and shield. As neither protagonist is a wild card (whoops spoiler) Igor doesn't act as the guy who fuses your personas, he's like a guide both through your journey and on your way back to the real world. Maybe belladonna and nameless are also there, who knows.

Persona users have a body part wrapped in foliage, vines, flowers, and the like (the location can be thematic, it’s as if wrapped in chains), and when summoned the foliage chains break and rapidly grow into the summoned persona.

Protag A (who I shall refer to as Sun because that’s their arcana) is a kind young man who was diagnosed with cancer. This diagnosis comes shortly after moving to a new city to start university, so he rightly is in a lot of turmoil and feeling alone. One of the way he copes is by having a fairly dark cynical sense of humour, contrasting with his kind and caring personality. I’m not set on a subject he does, I’m thinking natural sciences, it’s got a wide range of topics and, most importantly, MATHS (this isn’t a joke). His starting persona is Arthur, his second awakening is Arturus Rex, both of the sun arcana, and his ultimate persona is Excalibur, of the world arcana.

Protag B (who I shall refer to as Moon) is a standoffish young woman in the year above sun. An abuse survivor, her father (her only living relative) recently was jailed for what he did, but she still holds a deep contempt for humanity who she thinks has failed her. Initially forced to interact with sun because of a scheme where second years help first years, she stays with him because of a shared goal once they enter the sea of souls. Her story arc is about growing to care for others, learning to see the good in people, and stopping seeking revenge. Her starting persona is Lancelot, who evolves into white knight, both of the moon arcana, and her ultimate persona is Galahad of the world arcana (I’m intentionally hiding some things but oh well lol. The personas are thought out, I’ll tell you that).

I’ve not settled on social links or party members, I’ve got a few ideas, like Sun’s maths professor (who would either be magician or hierophant) and the Lovers arcana, but nothing concrete.

Getting into real endgame spoilers now, the premise is that two gods, Pendragon and Morgan le Fay, are arguing over whether humanity should suffer or not. Pendragon thinks they're a stain on the world and should be wiped out, while Morgan le Fay thinks they should live in eternal bliss. Given that the themes are about moving on and growing, neither is very good, or rather, life is a combination of the two. They're represented by the moon and the sun in the sea of souls, when Pendragon is "winning" it's night, when Morgan is "winning" it's day. towards the end of the story the party beats Pendragon without realising that now Morgan le Fay is able to act unchecked and so the regular course of life grinds to a halt. During the course of the story each protagonist holds one in themself, Moon with her contempt for humanity holds pendragon, and Sun with his wish to live with his friends forever holds Morgan, but once Moon starts to see the good in humanity her mind boots out pendragon (hence why they fight him), and once Sun accepts that a life in stagnation isn't a life living at all, his mind boots out Morgan (hence why they fight her). Basically, I really really really like the ideas of third semester and am doing something similar lol.

At the start Sun and Moon are visited by a Doctor informing him of his cancer diagnosis and a chief prosecutor "congratulating" her about her father's loss in court respectively. Both talk about their fascination with/contempt of humanity, and end with "do you agree?", a cloaked agreement to a contract that makes them their champion, for these are Morgan le Fay and Pendragon in human forms. A side effect of tricking them into agreeing to a contract, however, is letting them into the velvet room, a mistake that would lead to both of the gods' downfall.

Ah shit I haven't even tackled how dungeons and stuff work. I know at least the last one is gonna be called Avalon.

I think I'm just gonna go ahead and post this for now, I might edit it later so uhhh stay tuned I guess

[peligin-eyed]

Dreams and Nightmares

(Kind of a backstory continuation touching on Liam’s early days in London, spoilers for the Bloody Wallpaper)

London may be strange but you're figuring it out, with time. You meet some friendly artists and musicians, try your hand at writing some poems and lyrics of your own. You find places where they want people who can put up a good fight and aren't afraid of going after beasts. Even with your bad shoulder, you’re stronger now and you’re much better at tracking and hunting things. It frightens you how easy it is.

You take solace in dreams. Sometimes you have the same dreams, of being back in that forest, but sometimes you have unfamiliar new ones about water and fire and dead men. There's a type of honey down here that sends you off into dreams and lets you forget about your life for a while. You start frequenting honey-dens and on occasion you meet some nice people, like a charming young heiress. She flirts with you in dreams, and a bit when you finally meet in the waking world, but you know it would never work. You don't trust yourself to get close to people now.

For about a week, you have dreams about a shadowy beast tracking you through the streets of London. It's distinctly different from the Surface beast that still haunts your nightmares, but the mark it leaves on you and the way it pursues you are hauntingly familiar. You wake panting and sweating from those dreams, its mark itching and your old scars burning, until you manage to defeat it in your dreams.

You learn that moon pearls can tell you the phase of the moon, and you studiously keep track on your growing little store of them. You can tell when the full moon is coming. You don't know what you'll do, maybe go wander out into the marshes with your pets locked safely inside your cottage and hope for the best, but it turns out that someone else has other plans for you.

There's a man you see sometimes. He wears a coat with bright brass buttons and has an unusual number of fingers. He disconcerts you when you pass him on the street, and after dreams of red and gold you learn that he is the manager of a rather elaborate hotel down here.

You weren't expecting to receive an invitation to the Red and Gold Gala. You're new and you hardly know anyone, let alone the sort of people that would be invited to that kind of thing. You're willing to serve at the event, though. You're good at following orders and you figure it'll be a memorable experience, if all the gossip you've heard is to be believed.

Well, it certainly is memorable. You'd met some strange types down here, like the nice rubbery chaps and the talking rats, but they mostly seemed like decent sorts, just a little odd. You like odd, you're a bit odd yourself. The people you meet in this hotel, however, as you're bringing them unsettling meals and carrying about their bloody linens, they seem like a kind of dangerous you don't understand. Something is off about this place, perhaps even more off than is typical for London.

The work itself is tedious and degrading, though hardly worse than some of the things you had to do in the army. Between the fumes and the continual stitching of your smile and the endless up and down of the lift and the stairs and eventually the opium, you end up feeling quite dizzy and dazed. By the time you find yourself in the nightmarish jungle, you keep seeing it flicker to a different place, a cold pine forest, in between blinks. That goes away when you peel off the wallpaper at least.

In the end, you're pretty sure you've done your best and you at least made sure your fellow staff got some kind of compensation. When you wake up the next morning achey and exhausted with some concerning holes in your memory, you're not entirely convinced that your time in service actually happened. Maybe it was just a dream while…something else happened. (Well, you know it was a dream, sort of. You think.) But you're at home, still in your nightclothes, and free of unexpected blood on your person. At least there’s that.

Whatever really happened, the one thing you're sure of is that you would be quite pleased to never have to run into the Manager again if you can avoid it.

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

[kirua9]

Some oc sketches

Makoto Aomine

It feels like I haven't drawn her for ages though

the most resent sketch was several days ago lol

Idk why I'll drop some facts about her cause I have nothing to do

× she's a saggitaririus. actually idk why, cause im not a sagg myself and I can't really relate, though... one day I did my natal chart and saw I have sagg moon so 🤷‍♀️ im somehow related

× I guess I'd hate her if she existed irl. She's that type of a person who talk about themselves as if it's the most interesting info you could hear today. And probably very emotional

× she's actually a smart person though sometimes impulsive. She's smart and acts smart while I'm smart and act sarcastic

× she hates numerology, omens, horoscopes etc because thinks she'll fall for it and start believing that shit and then will be dependent on such things

× I guess Makoto is an ESFP Se-Fi-Te-Ni

About her Se dom: She has a perfect muscular memory, never forget where she put her things and actually lives the moment. The now now mode. Her egoism grows out of Fi aux, she is very self-oriented though in case her uncle was the one who brought her up she has an anxious thought thats not how it works, she must do everything to others. That's a conflict in her

Te tret: well sometimes she could fall into phase "I'm the one who knows how to live, others don't know a thing ". She's the one who don't wanna be iudged by people THOUGH SHE LITERALLY DO THE OPPOSITE. Makoto likes to point out others mistakes to them, sometimes she isn't cautious enough with other people, but she is able to understand she hurt someone (bruh but only if she imagined herself in the same situation)

Like the compulsive idea of "helping others" conflicts with her egoistic nature, though in the end Makoto gives up and accept that uncle's philosophy. If she was LUCKI HUH to live with the diaboys she'd constantly think:" who else if not me? I'm the best option, I'm the most useful person"

Yeah sounds complicated

Her Ni though is very suppressed. The majority of her nightmares are about her future and death lol

× tf I don't know what her ennea is. 2w3 maybe, cause she acts as if wants to pursue her aims, though without other people feels she's useless

× afraid of being abandoned cause her mother did that

× tritype is something like 287 or 286 hm

× she's kinda "based" on Asuka + Misato from Evangelion

× she's that one-san archetype in anime with sexy older sister

× her appearance is somehow based on Hitagi Senjogahara from Bakemonogatari

× her name comes from heroine's name from "The girl who leaped through time"

× Eh I thought Makoto×Laito is my fav and only romantically ship here but since I read Ruki's MB... I'm thinking about Makoto×Ruki lol

× she's half japanese half american

Yo that's all =]

Now you know I don't like self insert

[blackkatmagic]

It's just turned monday here and I know I'll forget about it in the morning so... For some reasons (insert furious handwaving) Maul was married off to Jaster to cement an alliance with the Mandalorians. Maul is pissed off but can't afford to be sent back so he's just. Silent and glowering. This is torture for Jaster, who has SO MANY QUESTIONS about the force and can't get a word out of Maul. Jaster learns to echolocate facts about the force by confidently saying things and measuring how wrong they are by how much Maul grinds his teeth. (Maybe he'll hit upon the thing that will make his new husband finally open his mouth and correct him)

Maul is going to make himself a widower in short order.

Murderous, faintly sleep-deprived, entirely fed up with absolutely everything, Maul slouches in his chair, one foot braced on the seat, and glares across the table at his new husband, contemplating whether he can refine his technique enough to actually murder someone with his eyes. Even if he can't, the excess of gold he’s wearing has to be good for something. Jaster won't be able to spout his stupid theories if he’s choking on five kilograms of jewelry.

“Don’t be silly, Arla,” Jaster says, in that particular confident tone that truly drives Maul to the edge of homicide. “Force-users have a long history of translocating themselves across vast distances.” There's a pause, and Maul ignores the dark eyes on him, watchful and amused, and instead contemplates how hard he’d have to throw the delicate curls of gold currently wound around his horns for them to kill a man.

Then, with the conviction of a man who’s never been mauled by a Zabrak for his sheer idiocy, Jaster says, “And besides, everyone knows of their ability to change their shape on a molecular level.”

A vein in Maul's temple probably throbs. He definitelygrinds his teeth, trying desperately to remember that Savage and Feral are both currently under Mother Talzin’s thumb, both sold into their own marriages to bring her power as she plays all sides. Serving the Sith Lord before his untimely demise wasn’t precisely better, but—

At least the safety of his brothers didn’t rest on Maul's ability to tolerate sheer stupidity.

Jaster doesn’t show any signs of recognizing that his lack of intelligence is causing Maul physical pain. He simply sinks back in his chair, swirling his wine in his glass, and smiles at Maul like he’s won something. “No shapeshifting, then?” he asks, amused.

Maul narrows his eyes, tips his head back to look down his nose at Jaster. Thinks, determinedly and a little bit mulishly, of Feral married to the clone army’s Marshal Commander, of Savage wed to a Jedi and forced to play husband to the new Master of the Order. Kit Fisto isn't Obi-Wan Kenobi, but Maul has no faith in a Jedi’s willingness to guard his younger brothers from Talzin. Clearly it falls to Maul to uphold this bargain, at least well enough to establish a safe place for Savage and Feral to flee to when they’re inevitably betrayed.

“Still no words for me, husband?” Jaster asks, still smiling. Maul might think him attractive if he weren’t so frustrating. “You were willing to exchange words at the wedding, but I've rarely been blessed with your opinions since.”

“Jaster,” Arla says, rolling her eyes from further down the table. Deliberately, like she’s making a point, she reaches out, tips more wine out of the pitcher and into her cup, and then downs it. “Please. Some of us are trying to eat here.”

“I'm hardly stopping you,” Jaster protests, entirely innocent. Maul twists one of the rings on his fingers and contemplates how much force he’d need to embed it in the wall above Jaster's head, as a warning. “I was just saying, Maul can finally confirm what I've known for years, which is that as the Force is the manifestation of a vast creature of entropy—”

Maul is going to break a tooth, he’s grinding them so hard. He digs his fingers into the arm of his chair, the black cloth of his formal wear, and fixes the image of Feral in that last moment before parting in his mind. Feral, thin and weak from punishment at the Nightsisters’ hands, being tradedto Commander Cody, passed into the ranks of the vast army made with stolen DNA and set against the Republic. Feral will suffer if Maul breaks this alliance. Talzin made that very clear, and Maul has little enough family as it is. He isn't about to lose his brothers. Not for this.

Jango, slumped down on Arla's other side and looking as though he greatly regrets agreeing to this dinner, groans and buries his face in his hands. “Old man, if you can't even flirt normally—”

“It’s not flirting, it’s science,” Jaster says. “I have a theory. Maul, would you care to help me prove it right?”

Since Maul would much rather attempt to drown Jaster in his soup, he bites his tongue and glares.

Jaster beams. “The Force,” he says, and Maul braces for impact, “is the expression of a vast hive mind beyond the known galaxy—”

It’s worse than Maul thought. He’s going to physically implode if he has to listen to this for one second longer—

“The Force,” Jaster says again, still watching Maul, “is an energy field created by living things.”

Not quite correct, but certainly more so than hive minds, and Maul only rolls his eyes a little. “If you're quite done,” he says darkly, because he knows what Jaster is doing, but that doesn’t exactly make it easier to bear.

Jaster chuckles, leaning across the table to pour Maul more wine. “For now,” he promises. “Though if you're open to a debate on the origins of the Jedi as a cohesive order—ow!”

One of the small, bright red fruits pegs Jaster squarely in the side of the head and bounces off. Not, surprisingly, thrown by Maul, and he blinks, casting a look sideways down the table, to where Jaster's majordomo is veryinterested in the last few spoonfuls of liquid remaining in his bowl. There is, notably, a bowl of the fruits right in front of him.

“Treachery,” Jaster complains, straightening with an offended expression. “Jango—”

“If it had been me, I would have thrown my whole plate at you,” Jango says, raising his hands. “Blame Arla.”

“If it had been me, it would have been a knife,” Arla says, clearly already a little tipsy, and single-mindedly trying to get herself right to drunk.

Well. Maul can appreciate the assistance of an ally, when the circumstances are right. He opens his mouth to take credit—

“Did you know,” Jaster says, perfectly certain, “that each lightsaber’s color represents the phase of the moon under which it was mined, and the resonance of them—”

Maul is going to murder him, delicate political alliances be damned. Feral will understand. With a low growl, he shoves himself up, lunges across the table, and grabs Jaster by the collar of his shirt, hauling them in until they're eye to eye.

“You,” he bites out, “are the most imbecilic manI have ever had the vast misfortune to meet. That is not how lightsabers work.”

“Oh?” Jaster asks with interest, leaning in even as Maul's eyes narrow. He smirks, his hand curling over Maul's, lacing their fingers, and then he deliberately, like a dare, raises Maul's hand to his lips. “Tell me more?”

Maul picks up his soup bowl and coolly upends it over his head. Truly, such a request deserves no other possible response.

[On AO3]

[spencers-renaissance]

This Gravitational Pull

Summary: Penelope Garcia sets her two best friends Derek & Spencer up on a blind first date. Even with the best intentions and highest expectations, no-one could've predicted it would go quite this well.

Tags: fluff, first date, au: diff first meeting, shy spencer, insecurity, anxiety, flirting, cuddling, protective derek, silly amounts of affection

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.9k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

I started writing this and then realised that I'd set their date in a pub's beer garden? I googled it and apparently they are a thing in America so I kept it in. I don't know how common they are, but I hope it's all good and you can picture the setting just fine.

Spencer really wishes he hadn’t agreed to this blind date.

Not because he doesn’t trust Penelope — he does, he trusts her implicitly and entirely — but because it's a blisteringly hot day in late July and the heat compounded by his shaking nerves is making for a rather unpleasant sweating situation.

A bumblebee buzzes quietly around the table he’s sat at, briefly interested in the iced coffee he’s got his hands wrapped around, and Spencer watches it with a gentle sort of intrigue, able to briefly take his mind off the impending date. He knows that Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan is physically attractive, Penelope had made that more than clear with both her copious photos of him and the way she’s sung his praises since she started working at the FBI, but if anything, that just makes him more nervous. If Derek wasn’t his type, then he wouldn’t have as much to lose.

He runs a nervous hand through his hair as he heaves a small sigh. Worst case scenario, he can run home to his apartment, order Indian food, bury himself in the early edition of War and Peace he just won in an auction and forget that this date ever happened.

“Spencer? Spencer Reid?”

A surprisingly deep and sexy voice has him looking up from the watch face he’s been staring at perhaps a little too intensely, and he’s instantly taken aback by the Greek God standing in front of him. He’d known Derek was attractive, he'd seen pictures of him, but no camera could ever hope to do someone so beautiful any semblance of justice.

“Uh, y-yes, um, yeah. That’s me.” He shakes his head to try and recover his awkward word stumbling before discreetly wiping his sweaty palm on his trousers and standing up to shake Derek’s hand. “You’re Derek?”

“The one and only,” Derek says cheekily, shooting Spencer a grin that already has his stomach churning with a mix of excitement and crippling nerves. “Penelope told me you were gorgeous, but let me tell you, she really undersold it, pretty boy.”

His cheeks instantly flush red as he fights to maintain eye contact, blinking owlishly at the other man. Did he really just say that?

“I was going to say the same thing.”

Derek’s grin only widens. “Well, it looks like Penelope matched us well, then.”

This time Spencer allows himself to briefly duck his head as a baffling mix of pleasure and mortification swim around his chest. He puts it down to inexperience. Any other explanation will only compound his embarrassment.

“She did,” he agrees, smiling over at Derek and hoping desperately that he’s managing to stay cooler on the outside than he is on the inside. “Do you want something to drink?”

Derek nods. “I’ll go and order a beer at the bar. Do you want anything or are you okay with that coffee?”

“Oh no, I’m fine, thank you,” Spencer says, and mentally he praises himself for finally getting out a coherent sentence that doesn’t sound hopelessly mangled and flustered.

He watches Derek as he strides into the pub, looking as cool and confident as his looks and personality allow, and he realises that he really does just have a way about him. The bar is relatively crowded due to the blinding heat on a Saturday afternoon, but the bartender serves him instantly, all the girls eyeing him interestedly and the guys knocking his shoulder and joking about with him as though they’re all easy, long-time friends.

It’s nice, Spencer thinks, to be the focus of someone like that’s attention. Derek could have his pick of most people drinking here, but he only has eyes for Spencer as he comes back out, holding a tall pint and wearing a happy, focused expression as he sits back down.

“Do you not drink?” Derek asks curiously and without judgement, gesturing to his coffee.

“I go out with my friends sometimes,” Spencer says, blushing again, “but I’m a bit of a lightweight, and that’s not the best state of mind to be in on any first date, let alone a blind one.”

Derek chuckles warmly at that, and the sound is a pleasant rumble reminiscent of a distant thunderstorm. Spencer wants to melt into it.

“I think I’d like to see you all messy on a night out, pretty boy,” Derek says wryly, still grinning shamelessly, and Spencer gets the distinct impression that this ‘pretty boy’ business is going to be a Thing between them.

Spencer cocks his head and takes a sip of his coffee through the long metal straw. “Maybe you’ll have to join us some time.”

“Does that mean we’re going on another date?” Derek asks, but before Spencer can panic that he’s said the wrong thing, he’s smoothly continuing. “Because I’m more than down for that.”

“You are?”

“Pretty boy, you ever looked in the mirror?” Derek demands playfully. “Add that to this cute little nerdy bashful doctor thing you got going on and you’re the whole package. Of course I want another date with you, and we’ve barely even started this one.”

Spencer flushes bright pink at that, and decides to move the conversation on before he melts into a literal puddle in the middle of this beer garden. “So you know Penelope through work?”

Derek gets the hint. “I was part of the group that arrested her, actually,” he chuckles, “and I thought she was gonna be a nightmare to work with when we gave her the option of working for the FBI instead of going to prison. But then she showed up on her first day decked out from head to toe in pink and yellow, her hair dyed back to her natural blonde, and the way she smiled when I called her baby girl… well, it was smooth sailing from then on. Did you know her back in her Black Queen days?”

“I was her one phone call,” Spencer answers, his face splitting into an easy grin as they discuss his favourite person on planet earth. “I was terrified she was going to jail and I’d lose her forever, so I was over the moon when you guys offered her that deal. We went to get our hair done together the very next day.”

“Oh yeah? And what did Pretty Boy have done to his hair, hm?”

Spencer blushes. “Let’s just say she wasn’t the only one who had a rebellious phase?”

“Now that I have got to know more about.”

“Save it for date number two, SSA Morgan,” Spencer shoots back, relaxing into the easy banter between them.

“Alright, alright, baby, I can do that,” he says, winking again. Thankfully, Spencer manages not to do an embarrassing impression of a traffic light this time. “How did you and Penelope meet?”

“Back in college actually,” Spencer nods. “She was sort of going off the rails after her parents’ death, but I think finding a scared 12 year old in her Geography elective helped her rein it in a bit. We’ve been glued at the hip pretty much since we met. Even when I went to MIT for a bit to complete my Engineering PhD, she came with me. Since her job back then was mostly hacking and some supplemental side jobs, it didn’t really matter where she was based, she was just hellbent on protecting me like she has ever since that first Geography class.”

“Wow,” Derek says, looking genuinely shocked as he leans back a little bit, eyeing Spencer with curious eyes. “You went to college when you were twelve? I’m glad you had Penelope because that could’ve been a disaster.”

“It kind of was,” Spencer nods, laughing a little. “But it meant that I had five degrees including three doctorates by the time I was twenty-one so I wasn’t too mad about it.”

Derek stares at him consideringly, the soft smile on his face making Spencer’s stomach fill with butterflies. “You’re quite the genius aren’t you?”

“Well, I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute.”

Derek just stares at him.

“So, yeah, I guess I’m a genius?” he says bashfully.

Derek laughs, shaking his head. “Definitely a genius. I mean, Penelope told me you were clever, but this is like… insane. Are you sure you’re okay to go out with a mere mortal like me or should I see myself out?”

“Yeah actually, Derek, sorry, it’s not going to work out,” Spencer says, feigning seriousness. “I can’t be with anybody who’s not within twenty IQ points of me or doesn’t have at least two PhDs.”

“A good actor, too? What don’t you have going for you, pretty boy?” He laughs in that wild and free kind of way Spencer always wishes he could, and he wonders whether Derek could teach him how.

Derek watches him like there’s something special about Spencer as the sound of their laughter mingles, looks at him like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be but right here, right now, and the warm intensity of it has a buzz going in Spencer’s chest, a pleasant feeling he can’t imagine anything dousing, and he never wants Derek to take his eyes off him again. Not if this is how it’s always going to make him feel.

The hours of the afternoon fly by and all of a sudden the sun is setting and they’re feeling distinctly hungry.

“How do you feel about getting some street food and taking a wander down to the beach?” Derek suggests hopefully, and Spencer can’t help the wide grin that splits his cheeks at the idea.

“Let’s do it.”

The beach is slightly cooler than the garden now the sun is setting and a soft, salty breeze is floating in from the ocean, so they sit close together in the sand, sharing their servings of nachos and fries between them.

“What’s your family like?” Spencer asks, a little daringly after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence.

Derek smiles. “They’re amazing. It’s been just me, my mom, and my two sisters since I was ten years old, but I think losing my dad only brought us closer together, y’know? We had to learn from a young age how to rely on each other, and we were also taught the very valuable lesson of just how important family is and how nothing in life is guaranteed, so we’ve made every effort to be as close to one another as possible.”

Spencer watches with quiet admiration as Derek gushes about his family, and takes another bite of their nachos. “Do they live locally?”

“No, they’re all still back in Chicago,” Derek says. “It’s sad sometimes, being so far away from them, but they would have killed me if I’d stuck around back home just for them and hadn’t chased my dream of climbing the ladder of the FBI.”

Spencer nods, chuckling along with Derek as they stare out at the quiet, tumbling waves of the ocean.

“What about you?” Derek asks. “Are you close with your family?”

Shit. He hadn’t exactly considered that asking Derek about his family would lead to reverse questioning about his own. I mean, call him a genius all you want, but social interaction is not his area of expertise.

“Uh, it’s just me and my mom. She lives back in Vegas,” he explains, clearing his throat awkwardly as he hopes that’s enough to appease his date.

Truthfully, it probably would have been, but Derek doesn’t say anything immediately, and the silence feels like it’s choking him into admitting the truth, however much it makes his chest tighten and his stomach flip with anxiety. What if this is it? What if Derek doesn’t want to start something with someone who has a family history as fucked up as his? What if he reads between the lines and sees that Spencer could be just like his mom in the future, and thinks that starting a relationship is just too risky?

“She has paranoid schizophrenia,” he blurts out, the words rolling off his tongue without his express permission, and instead of shutting up, they just keep coming. “When my dad left when I was ten, I had to be her sole carer until I left for college at twelve, but even then she refused professional help and medication, so I was taking the train from Pasadena to Las Vegas every weekend to try and help her out, and it got messy a lot of the time. It was only when I turned eighteen that things got a little bit easier, and that was only because I betrayed her trust and had her sectioned into a Sanitorium.

“They’re amazing, they take really good care of her and I did my research obviously, but I think a part of her still resents me for doing that.”

He stares out at the ocean for a couple of seconds before he suddenly realises where he is and what he’s just done.

“Oh my god,” he says as horror and dread fill him from the bottom up, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have just dumped all that on you, I’m sorry, just—”

“Hey, pretty boy,” Derek says gently, placing a reassuring hand on his back to get his attention. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I’m just happy you felt comfortable enough to tell me all of that, and besides, I asked the question, and I meant it. I wanted to know the answer.”

Spencer feels some of the panic recede a little, and he looks up at Derek to try and gauge whether he’s telling the truth. “Really?”

Derek’s expression only softens further. “Really.”

He relaxes a little further and leans into Derek’s side, smiling to himself when Derek wraps his arm fully around his waist, resting his head on top of Spencer’s.

“I feel like I’ve known you way longer than just four hours and fifty six minutes,” Spencer says eventually.

Derek chuckles, and this time Spencer can feel the low rumble against his cheek as well as hear it. “It might be the biggest cliche in the book, but I feel exactly the same, baby.”

“I think sharing street food on the beach while staring out at a sunset as romantic and beautiful as that one has cemented the cliches in this date enough already,” Spencer points out, laughing a little.

“That is very true,” Derek agrees, squeezing his hand against Spencer’s waist. “We could round all the cliches off with a kiss, if you’d like.”

Spencer sits upright, blushing again as he eyes Derek’s flirtatious but serious expression. “I’d like that a lot.”

Derek wastes no time in taking Spencer’s jaw in his hand and leaning in slowly to place a long, sensuous kiss to his lips. Spencer kisses back with as much control as is possible when your experience is next to none and you have one of the most beautiful men in the world turning your stomach inside out with his attention, but it seems to be enough for Derek because as soon as they pull away, he’s grinning widely.

“You’re quite the kisser, pretty boy.”

Spencer fights the blush but it comes anyway. “I like that.”

Derek’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “The kiss?”

“No, the pet names.”

Derek’s expression smooths out and he smiles again, a little more tenderly than his usual cheeky grin. “Well, that’s good, because I have plenty more up my sleeve, sweetheart.”

Spencer flushes with pleasure this time and settles back against Derek’s side, observing the blue sea as they settle into silence once more.

“I’m not very used to all of this, by the way,” he says after a while, the sky slowly darkening.

“Used to what?”

“This. Kissing. Dating. Pet names.”

Derek looks down at Spencer to try and get a better look at his face. “Really? You could’ve fooled me.”

“I’ve only ever had one boyfriend before, and this is only the second date I’ve ever been on.”

“Any girlfriends?”

“Not really my area.”

“And this other date, was that with boyfriend number one?”

Spencer shakes his head against Derek’s shoulder. “No, I never went on a date with him. I met him in college and we were friends first, so we never really dated, just fell into a relationship.”

“Ah.” A brief silence settles over them again, but Derek doesn’t let it hang long. “You know I’m not bothered by any of that, right? You could have never dated anyone ever before or have screwed your way round half of California and DC and it wouldn’t matter a single bit. Not if you were here with me, right now.”

He laughs softly as Derek lightens the mood, and something in Spencer’s chest feels like it falls into place at that, like his last anxious reservation has been washed away and he can really move forward, forge onward with this scarily exciting endeavour.

“You’re a good man, Derek Morgan. You know that, right?”

Derek kisses the top of his head. “I do,” he says, “but I’m not sure it’s ever sounded quite as special falling from anyone else’s lips as it does falling from yours.”

Further down the beach, another wave crashes against the shore, and the colours of the sunset fade away slowly. People pack up their picnic baskets and head home, and seagulls attack their leftovers, but none of that matters, because right now, Spencer’s world is Derek Morgan.

Penelope Garcia deserves a medal.

(Yes, I've used that "yeah I guess I'm a genius" sequence in way too many fics, leave me ALONE. )

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @lesbiantodds @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @enbyspencer @reidology @transhanniballecter @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @ropoto @thosecriminalminds @wifeyprentiss @cmily @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @hotchscotchh (add yourself to my taglist here!)

[eliss-ey]

stuff the witches were talking about i didn’t fully understand

Here I am, trying to explain some things I didn’t really understand myself before. Hope this will come helpful.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

Now that I looked into it, i understand it at least a bit. I’ll try to explain it to you.

The Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. The Law of Attraction is the thing, that materializes our thoughts into reality. All thoughts turn into things eventually. Etc. If you focus on the negativity, and bad things you will keep on feeling sad. But if you focus on the good parts of the life, become ambitious of what you want to achieve, and you believe in yourself, at the end, you can do it. It is like witchcraft- witchcraft is basically a big law of attraction. See, you light a candle, etc. red for love, with the intention of attracting love into your life. If you write a spell or if you just say your intention with the most powerful words you can find, you are great to go. It is basically speaking or writing down your intentions, being clear with them and they are send into the universe like a bunch of vibrations. Yet somehow, they come back and they manifest, so you reacieve the love you were looking for! Not a lot of people understand it fully, but, if it works, there is no need to really bother. 

so, you basically attract whatever you think about. 

MANIFESTING

if you are new to withcraft, you might be already confused. So here I am again, trying to explain it all to you.

Manifestation is basically the result of the Law of attraction. Etc. You send out vibrations with the intention “i attract money and wealth” and manifesting is basically you getting what you let out, so you recieve more money.

Manifestation works alongside the Law of Attraction, a universal rule which is that thoughts can become things.(as i explained above).

You have done a spell, and it doesn’t work. Remember the law of attraction? You have used that just now to make the spell. And you are using it maybe even right now, unconciously. It works like this- if you keep on worrying about your magic, doubting the spell and thinking that it won’t work, it won’t. Try focusing on what you love and on what makes you feel good and happy and alive. Soon you’ll be attracting more of THAT. Manifestation is a magickal way of getting what you want, and the easiest and most powerful way to do that is to feel it. You can also use visualization to aid in manifesting. What I also do, is that i forget. I just forget when I did a spell and let it work for itself. The only thing i tell myslef when i think about it is “It is going to work, my magick works.” 

A quick spell to get rid of anything what is blocking you away from manifesting:

You will need a piece of paper, pen, a candle (or just matches).

Center yourself. Take a few deep breaths and focus on what you are doing right now. You can  burn some herbs or an incense to get rid of unwanted energies that are trying to interrupt your spell. Ground yourself by keeping your fett on the floor, imagining roots coming into the ground from you.

The first step to manifesting is to let go. So think of what’s holding you back from what you want. Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship, self-doubt, or money troubles, focus on what it is that you want to release. Write down what you want to let go of at the top of a piece of paper, focusing the energy and feelings you have as you write. Be intentional. You can write something like “I am done living in a place of fear” or “I release any self-doubt I may have” or “I am done living from a place of scarcity.” Again, this should feel right to you.

Now, burn it. Either put it in a fireproof bowl, fireplace or burn it by a candle, imagine the fire sending your intentions to the universe. Do it as many times as you like, until you know that it works and you have no doubt. Now ground yourself again.

Oof. This was hella long. I hope you understood at least a bit. 

WHAT ARE ALL OF THOSE HERBS, CRYSTALS AND CANDLES FOR?

If you are a beginner witch, you might be wondering: Do I need all of this? Mugwort for this and that, incense, candles and a lots of shiny crystals? Why do all of the witches use these? What are they good for? 

First, no, you don’t need any of these. All you need is yourself and a clear intention to work your magic. A lot of witches burn candles while doing spells. Why? Because candle magic is really simple, all you need is a candle and matches.  “ Candle magick is a kind of alchemy, where all elements are represented — fire of the flame, air to feed it, melted wax for water, and solid wax for earth” so the candles empower your intention. You can also choose a colour of the wax, essential oil, herbs or carve a sigil into them. Candle magic is really great way to start.

All of those herbs, witchy tools, colorful candles are here to only strenghten your intention with their own energy. When you look at a rose, you might start thinking about romance, love, peace... these are the magickal properties of a rose. See, every item gives off an energy. You can keep your magic as simple as with only yourself and your intention, or you can add in various crystals or herbs only to strenghten it, But why herbs? How do you use them while just saying out your intention? You can burn them (pls be careful when doing so) if you are doing a spell for focus or memory, try burning some rosemary in a fireproof bowl, or lighting a rosemary incense. You can also add crystals around yourself while casting a spell to empower it with their energy. So if you are casting a money spell, try surrounding yourself with citrine, aventurine, anything golden, tigers eye... or of course, just some programmed clear quartz will do. 

Both of crystals and herbs can be incorporated in witchbottles also. And jars are simply for storing these herbs.

If you are a beginner witch, there is no need to go off and buy tons of crystals like i did and go broke (like i did). A clear quartz is a substitute crystal for any you would need. As well as is rosemary for any other herb/plant, and aswell as is the color white for any other color of candles. And of course, you can find tons of herbs and spices in your own kitchen cabinet already. Cinnamon, nutmeg, thyme, rosemary, basil... these might already be in there. 

AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

you might have seen this quote or rather a saying somewhere before. I did a longer research on it, there is not much of  a content out there.

(I will update this in a while, pls wait) 

WHAT THE HECK IS BINDING MAGIC?

if i had to tell you right now, i wouldn’t know myself. Here i am to research it and give you some information!

A magical binding is simply a spell or working that restrains someone , preventing them from doing something. It is often used to keep the individual from causing harm to themselves or others. It is usually done in a positive way of preventing the person from doing harm themselves or the others. It’s like stopping them from doing bad stuff.

haha i think this is enough, you got it, right?

WICCA, WITCHCRAFT AND PAGANISM 

final question. Which is which? what am i?

WICCA

is a religion, a belief. All wiccans are pagan, and they are also witches (basically pagan witches). They practice magick and witchcraft alongside with believing in divine energies. They follow the moon phases, that each moon phase has a different magical meaning. They celebrate 8 holidays- sabbaths, or either called pagan holidays. And since it is a religion, wiccans believe in a God and a Goddess, or multiple deities which is called eclectic wicca. 

WITCHCRAFT

a witch is someone who works with herbs, potions, casts spells, crystals, natural healing... someone who does energy workings. Witches can be Muslim, Christian, whatever religion they choose to believe in, or they don’t have to be religious at all. 

PAGANISM

is a wide  variety of beliefs, in which is the nature worshipped. Pagans follow religious guidelines drawn out by nature- seasons, moon phases, weather... There are maaaany gods and Goddesses, they usually represent a part of nature or a celestial body. They can choose to wroship Celtic, Greek, Hindu, Chinese, Egyptian deities and many more. Pagans believe that we should not be superior to nature, she is the one who created us afterall. It’s like an umbrella of religions, under which are Hinduists, Wiccans, Shamanists...

IN CONCLUSION

All wiccans are pagan, but not all pagans are wiccan.

All wiccans are witches, but not all witches are wiccan.

boom. Period. 

I hope you understand it all now, if you notice any mistakes, feel free to correct me. 

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 3.4

Two weeks later.

"Did Xiao ever say when he'd return?"  You caught up to Aether at the front of the group.  "I'm getting worried.  And what about Mr. Zhongli?"  The team had just entered Liyue Harbor to inspect three nameless treasure boxes that you'd found all over western Liyue.

"Nope.  Not a clue.  But we can stop by the funeral parlor to look for Zhongli if you want."  

"Paimon thinks you worry too much.  The Vigilant Yaksha can handle himself just fine."

"I-I know that!"  You spoke a little too loud and a few pedestrians gave you the side eye.  The tips of your ears burned red.

"I have some business to attend to regarding the winery.  I'll meet you tomorrow morning."  Diluc walked off without another word.

"He's not a people-person just like Xiao, don't you think?" Paimon nudged you suggestively.

"What're you saying, exactly?"

"It seems our emergency food forgot her place," Aether defended you despite his urge to tease your urgency over Xiao's return.

"Stop treating Paimon like that!  I am not food!"

"She's not wrong though," Childe cozied up to you.  "A little eager to see Xiao again, are we?"

"I already told you guys, it's not like that!  I'm just antsy because he said he'd be back soon and it's been a few weeks now--"

"Sounds like you really like this Xiao person!" Bennett chirped.  "I wonder what he's like?"  He swung his arms at his side, completely carefree despite the soreness in his previously-broken arm.  It had healed within a day because of his healing abilities.

"You guys are just teasing me because I'm the only girl on the team!" You pouted and crossed your arms.

"Oh come now, don't be like that." Childe put an arm around your shoulder.  "What else did Xiao tell you before you left? How much he loves you and how much he'd miss you while you were away?  If you want, I can tell you those things too, ojou-chan〰"

"Cut it out, Childe!"  You snapped and pushed him away.  That's when you noticed a few strangers were whispering and pointing at the Harbinger.  "Hey--"

"Ah, don't concern yourself with them."  Childe returned to a more serious nature and continued to walk behind Aether.   "Let's just say I'm not as welcome in Liyue as the Traveler here."

"That's because he kicked your butt!" Paimon taunted.

"Do not forget that I've grown stronger in recent months.  If you are so certain he could defeat me a second time, I'm more than happy to prove the two of you wrong."

"Why does it feel so tense all of a sudden?"  Bennett whispered in your ear.  

"They have a weird rivalry going."

"Ah."

"We're here--annnd it's closed," Aether's shoulders drooped once the group reached the antique shop.  "'Open at 6p.m.'  Great."

"That just means we have time to relax! Quick, Paimon wants to go eat some classic Liyue dishes!"  She dragged Aether with her before he could protest.  

"Uh...we'll meet here at six!"  He called over his shoulder.

"I still don't understand how she could eat so much," Childe shrugged.  "Well then, I'm off.  I have some business to take care of at the bank.  See you soon."

"Guess it's just you and me?"  Bennett laughed nervously.

"Wanna eat lunch first?"  

Your offer lit his eyes up.  The two of you had practically become best friends during these past few weeks, and he found it a relief that you weren't phased by his bad luck even when it did backfire on you.  To think he had found such a great friend and adventure team no less--was incredibly motivating.

After several hours of eating and checking out all the harbor had to offer, you and Bennett ended at the docks.  The sun was nearly setting and cast an orange glow on its subjects.  You dangled your feet over the edge and soon enough he did the same.  

"I had so much fun today! Thank you for showing me around!"  Bennett ate the dango you had bought for him.

"Mhm!"  You didn't feign cheerfulness, but by now it was exaggerated.  Bennett caught on.

"Hey, are you okay?  You've been acting weird since this morning."

"I don't know.  I just feel lonely without him."

"The Xiao guy?  I get how that feels.  I'm always lonely," he sympathized.  "You can rant to me if you want.  I'm a good listener."

"See, that's the thing.  I'm not sure if it's safe for me to talk about it with anyone."  There were brief moments in the night in which a gentle breeze would caress your skin, but they were briefer than the first and infrequent.  Your heart ached and missed the comfort of knowing he was watching over you the longer he was gone.

Bennett quietly pondered your words while he swung his feet in the air.  "If there's anything I know about thoughts and feelings, it's that they'll tear you apart the longer you keep them bottled up."

"Yeah...you're right."  You let out a long sigh and lay your back against the cold wooden planks.  "I want to get closer to him, but it feels like something bad will happen if I do."

"What do you mean?"

"He says we might be in danger, but he won't elaborate on it.  I feel like unless that danger is eliminated, I won't have a chance to get to know him fully."

"I see."  Bennett copied your position and reached toward the sky. "Well, I think--"

"There you are," Childe entered your field of vision.  "We're all waiting for you.  The antique shop is open now."

...........................................................

"--These markings are those of Liyue," Linlang of the antique shop continued to explain as you approached the rest of the group.  "You can see inscribed here is the anecdote of Azhdaha.  They say Azhdaha was a dragon spawned by a convergence of the spirits of Geo in Liyue, and that even Rex Lapis could not easily subdue it.  Rex Lapis thus summoned three adepti to his aid, and together they created a cavernous realm.  Rex Lapis then battled the creature, luring it into the cavern, before ordering the adepti to seal the entrance, trapping Azhdaha within.  

"The patterns on the things you brought seem to describe the three adepti joining hands to create the cavern.  This crane must be the adeptus Mountain Shaper, and this deer might be Moon Carver...But this last one...huh?  It seems like this pattern has been intentionally ground away by someone to the point where I can't make anything out.  Who was this third adeptus?  Eh, no matter; this is beyond me.  Regardless, it is a complete set.  Would you like to sell them or keep them as keepsakes?  I can make a generous offer."

"We'd like to sell them!"  Paimon nearly yelled with excitement over the potential mora.

"Wait! May I see the third artifact?" The clerk held it out to you, and you examined the damaged box in your hands.  Something about this box called to you, though you didn't know why you felt that way.  You were mesmerized as you rubbed the ground-out etchings in the material with your thumb.

"Do you know something about these?" Childe suddenly became much more interested in the conversation and leaned toward you.

"I've never seen these before, but...I feel like this one is familiar."

"But there's nothing readable on it," Bennett remarked.  "How can you think it's familiar if there aren't any distinguishing features?

"I...don't know..."  She said these were depictions of three adepti, right? Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper...Could it have been a depiction of Cloud Retainer? But why would it be scratched out if that were the case?  Maybe it's one of the yakshas?  W-wait a second--

"Do you want to keep it?" Aether pulled your head out of the clouds and you lost your train of thought.  

"No, that's okay."  You placed the box on the counter, mind wondering once again as LinLang explained her offer to Aether.  Hopefully you'd get the chance to look at the artifact set again.  Maybe you could ask Xiao about it when he returns--wait.  Your eyes locked onto the damaged box again.

Was it possible that he was the one depicted on the box?

The theory made sense...The Guardian Yaksha worked in the dark, and he wasn't really known in the mortal world.  Festivals were thrown for the adepti, but no one mentioned or prayed to him.  He could have scratched the box himself, or it could have been Rex Lapis's doing.  Your hands curled into determined fists and you walked away from the group before anyone could notice.

Xiao!  You silently called his name once you returned to the docks along the harbor.  Xiao!  I know you can hear me.  No response; the wind was absent.  Why is it that I'm running into more things relating to adepti ever since you departed?  You dunk your hand into the ocean and traced a figure-eight in the water as you thought to yourself.  We found some interesting boxes with three adepti etched into them.  It's strange; one of them is scratched out, but I feel connected to it, almost like it's connected to you.  Weird, huh?  You shook your head at yourself.  What a silly idea, to think that one of the mighty yakshas could hear you.  I'll leave you alone now. I'm sure you're getting tired of listening to me ramble every day.  Or maybe you can't hear me at all in the first place.

A hand suddenly landed on your shoulder.

"Xiao?" Your head snapped behind you in high hopes that the adeptus had returned.

"Ouch," Childe winced and grabbed his chest as if he got hurt.  "It's just lil ol' me."  He took the liberty to sit next to you.

"A-ha, you scared me there.  Sorry."

"You really like him, huh?"

"I guess so.  I don't really know what to do with myself since he left."  You watched the moon rise over the horizon.

"Do you know where he was headed? I can go find him for you."  You shook your head.  "I'm surprised he didn't take you with him.  The two of you were practically attached at the hip."

Hm?  The hair rose on the nape of your neck.  Something about his words was off.

"Childe, do you know something about why he left?"  Your eyes left the moon and locked onto your questionable teammate.

"Whatever do you mean, ojou-chan?" He was good at feigning ignorance, but you didn't fall for it this time.

"Tartaglia."

"Now why would I be interested in the adepti?  Why are you so suspicious of me all of a sudden?"  His eyes narrowed dangerously.  "If you're looking for a reason to fight me, all you have to do is ask and I'll say yes.  I'd love to fight you and go all-out.  It's been awhile and I could use the exercise."

You opened your mouth and shut it.  You couldn't throw around accusations like they were Childe's Fatui money, after all.  If your suspicions were unfounded, it would cause strain in the team.  And he was true to his word on fighting; he could take you out in a single blow if he thought it was necessary.  You thought carefully about this and decided to drop it.

[holidaywishes]

and now we’re here

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: This one is a collab with @kayleafs221​! We flash back with (Y/N) after Freddie left her and to her finding out she was pregnant

  Author’s Note: We have a part three! I wasn’t going to do more than two but @kayleafs221 wants ✨drama✨ so we’re gonna see what we can conjure up together. We teamed up to see how much drama we could fit in so hopefully it fits the bill. @kayleafs221 also mentioned that she wanted to structure this sort of how New Moon was written so we went with it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I’ve got one last chapter in me to make it all fluffy and bring these two back together! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  It had already been a month. You kept telling yourself you shouldn’t be so devastated but he hadn’t called or even texted. You were alone. He had left you completely alone and he wasn’t coming back. You found yourself curled up in his large hoodie on the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time while your chest tightened with every sob and gasp you took as if he took your lungs with him; falling asleep clinging to the last piece you had of him.

Month 2

  You had no choice. You had to throw yourself into work, it was all you could do. Even when you were home, your laptop was out. You let yourself be distracted in any way you could but even that was no use. You had been sick all week and your boss had made you stay home. You didn’t know what to do as you sat on your couch refusing to watch movies because they were all the same. Always a happy ending and the thought of love and sex made you sick, sick to your stomach. You were determined to do something productive, maybe going for a walk would make you feel better. A walk by the beach. It was just as you remembered it. Beautiful. Peaceful. Suddenly your mind was flooded.

  “I’ve been traded to Toronto. I leave at 4am.” What bullshit was that? How could he leave so suddenly and not even be phased? Not have any remorse for any of it?

  “Stay in touch Freddie.” You were so stupid to think that he would care enough to keep whatever this was going long distance. You had to face reality, that you didn’t mean anything to him. It came again, the dizziness, the shortness of breath. It couldn’t be stopped this time. There was only black. You woke up to the incessant sound of beeping, beeping, what was all that beeping? Your eyes were met with an uncomfortable brightness. This isn’t the beach, you thought to yourself, before rubbing your head, “What?” you started to say, confused as to how you ended up in a hospital bed

  “Ah, Miss (Y/L/N) I see you are awake,” the nurse checking your vitals said, “I’ll get the doctor for you, I’m sure you have many questions.” Sitting yourself up, you watched her leave the room before finding the clock and realizing that it had been two hours since you went to the beach. You couldn’t believe you were unconscious for that long, this was crazy, “she’s still groggy” the nurse said, directing the doctor to your bedside

  “That’s normal,” the doctor explained with a smile, “well, we’ve run some tests and you’re severely dehydrated”

  “Dehydrated?” you asked, “I don’t un– I mean I haven’t been out of bed for a couple weeks but I’ve just been dealing with some things”

  “Seven” he smiled, checking the paperwork in front of him casually

  “Excuse me?” you replied, furrowing your brow

  “Seven weeks,” he added, “my guess is that you haven’t been drinking a lot of water”

  “I haven’t really been up for it” you cowered

  “Well, please do,” the doctor said, “for your baby’s sake”

  “I’m sorry what?” you exclaimed, “Baby?” you said, shaking your head

  “Yes,” the doctor repeated, “you’re about seven weeks along. Give or take a couple days. All women handle their pregnancies differently, which might account for your drowsiness and any mood swings you may have been experiencing”

  “I’m not pregnant” you scoffed, readjusting yourself in your bed

  “You are” the doctor returned your scoff, seemingly annoyed at your behaviour

  “I can’t be…”

  “The results say otherwise”

  “But I haven’t had sex, I haven’t left my bed in.. like two months”

  “Which is about seven weeks”

  “But I… I can’t be pregnant”

  “Is there anyone we can call for you?”

  “No… there’s no one” you lowered your eyes as the realization came over you.

Month 3

  After you were released from the hospital, you tried to make the pregnancy easier on yourself by reading a million books and telling your parents what you needed or letting your mom tell you what she thought you needed

  “You know what I think will really help?” she said, “telling the father…”

  “Mom…” you whined

  “He deserves to know, too.” She was right, of course, as all mom’s usually are so you agreed to reach out but you deleted his number when you convinced yourself it was better to forget about him, forcing you to search him out online; a huge mistake really. There were stories about girls who he’d slept with and left ‘in his wake,’ none of which you could be sure of their validity, but then you’d find pictures of him hanging out with Auston Matthews or William Nylander or any of the younger teammates in clubs and bars and you could only imagine that their behaviours spilled into his, so you let it go.

Month 9

  “But what happens when that kid is born with red hair and freckles? Or when he’s a natural athlete?” your sister asked

  “What do you mean?” you scoffed

  “You can’t hide that,” she tried, tilting her head as she continued, hoping you’d get her point. “He’s gonna know. If there’s a picture, he’s gonna know. He’s not dense…”

  “The kid probably won’t be a red head. So he’d never know..” you said knowing very well it could be a possibility. She huffed when she realized she wouldn’t get through your stubbornness. As time went on, you realized that there was no use denying it, Jackson was already excelling at every sport he tried. Knowing this, you kept him as far away from ice as possible. You knew it was wrong but you just couldn’t risk it, especially after so many of the Ducks already knew you. Whenever you thought about reaching out and telling him the truth, something was being said about him. He seemed to be a magnet for negativity.

  “Possible Frederik Andersen injury a very troubling turn for Maple Leafs”

  “Maple Leafs placing all their faith in Frederik Andersen”

  “Andersen Said What Every Maple Leaf Fan Is Thinking”

  “Maple Leafs goalie Frederik Andersen fined $2K for embellishment”

  “Toronto Maple Leafs: Andersen has been a Disaster”

  Every headline seemed to be worse than the last and you knew that if you were feeling stressed just reading them, then he was probably shutting himself away to hide from everyone after living with them. This was a normal thing for goalies to go through in the NHL but there was something about the way Toronto was treating Freddie that made you want to be there for him. But you couldn’t make a decision like that so easily anymore. It wasn’t just about you and your feelings anymore, you had your baby boy to think about and the older he got, the more you could see his personality grow and the more his personality grew, the happier he was; you couldn’t imagine taking that away from him. You couldn’t take that life away from him. But watching Freddie’s career hit highs and lows, noticing he was alone through most of it, your heart broke for him. You hoped that, somehow, your love would reach him. You hoped for his happiness even before your own. Even so, you would protect your son through everything, knowing that meant it might cost you the truest of love.

Toronto 2021

  “Why did you lie to me?” Freddie said under his breath. You could tell he was angry and there was no getting away from this.

  “What are you talking about? I didn’t lie. I told you I had a one night stand with some guy– why are we even talking about this again?” You tried your best to keep the story straight, hoping to appease him

  “You lied about Jackson not being mine!” he started to shout

  “I didn’t…” you stammered. There’s no way. He couldn’t know. You had made sure of it

  “I did the math… I saw your post and I went back because something didn’t… add up…” he admitted, “and the math didn’t fit with some one night stand. That kid in there, who looked an awful lot like me as a kid, he’s mine. And you lied about it. You kept it from me, kept HIM from me!”

  “HE’S MY SON!” you cried. Everything was falling apart and you weren’t sure what to do anymore. There was no getting around this, you had to let out what you’d been holding in from that night, “and you left me! YOU LEFT US!”

  “BUT HE’S MY SON TOO!” he countered and you furrowed your brow, shaking your head as you tried to think of what to say next.

  “I made a choice, Freddie. I looked at how quickly our life together changed and I… made a choice. I couldn’t put a child through all of that. Moving at the drop of a hat, having to say goodbye to friends and homes and cities whenever your job called for it… You never looked back, you never reached out. After two months of waiting, I woke up alone in a hospital and you didn’t even care to call. So I did this. I HAD TO” you confessed, sorrow filling your eyes as you watched his face soften. “So yeah, I lied. But I didn’t lie to hurt you. I lied to protect him. No matter what. I make no apologies for that.”

  “How was I supposed to know that you were in the hospital?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Freddie,” you sighed, “the point is, you left and I was alone and I couldn’t wait for you.”

  “So what now?”

  “I don’t know,” you started. “If this had happened before you got traded, our life would’ve been so different. I pictured it, you know,” you smiled, “our life. With Jackson. We looked so happy in my daydreams”

  “We could be happy like that,” he whispered, moving close to you, “in real life”

  “I can’t change his life for you”

  “I don’t want you to change his life,” he smiled, closing the gap between the two of you and you felt your heartbeat in your head, making it hard to think straight, “I just want to be part of it...”

  “He doesn’t know who you are” you said through bated breath

  “Let’s tell him then” he exclaimed

  “No,” you insisted, putting your hands on his forearms, “if we’re going to do this, we have to take it slow”

  “Slow?” he asked, leaning down to your ear, “how slow?”

  “I just don’t want him to feel overwhelmed,” you replied, your hands drifting up his arms, “just... start by introducing yourself to him... We’ll have lunch”

  “I can do that” he smirked, pushing your hair back before laying a kiss to the exposed skin of your collarbone

  “You have to be patient”

  “I can do that” he repeated as a moan left your mouth

  “I don’t know if you can” you chuckled, finally pushing him away from you

  “I can”

  “I’m serious”

  “So am I!” he laughed, placing his hands on your hips to stop you from turning around, “he’s my son and I will do anything to get to know him”

  “He can’t know you’re his dad yet,” you said again, “I know it seems weird but, please, just don’t fight me on this”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it”

  “Good” you joked, cocking your eyebrow before he smiled at you. That smile always broke you, always made your heart louder than your head, and, right now, you were more than happy to listen to it. He met you in the middle, pressing a kiss to your lips before his hands pushed your body into his and suddenly, it all felt so perfect. Like no time had passed. He was yours again and you were determined to keep it that way.

[swordlesbean]

rewatching the first 3 eps is kinda frustrating at how much Adora does NOT think about Catra covering for her not even once while she's playing around in beds, plays pinata, eats good food etc, she's gone for days and like Catra says later didn't even think she was taking the fall for her damn. and didn't even spare a glance at Catra while celebrating with her new driends at selinas

This is actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time, so thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it! I think when people are annoyed with Adora for supposedly not thinking about Catra in early s1, they aren't giving full consideration to Adora's perspective during that time period. She's, uh... dealing with a lot, to say the least. There's been a fair amount of analysis about Catra's perspective during this time, but not nearly as much about Adora's. I will try to remedy that here, in my typically long-winded way.

Let's take it from the beginning. Adora touches a mysterious sword in the woods that gives her visions and makes her black out. She’s still having these visions and hearing voices when she’s back home, so she sneaks out at night to find the sword again because she wants answers. Reasonable. She plans to be back by morning, but she asks Catra to stay behind because she doesn't want Catra getting in trouble on her behalf in case something goes wrong. Also reasonable. Boom, nothing goes according to her plan, and everything goes wrong.

Adora finds the sword, but runs into Rebellion soldiers. She tries to fight them for the sword, but when she touches it, she has another vision and blacks out again. She wakes up with her hands tied, a prisoner. She bides her time instead of trying to escape because she still wants the sword. During this time, she's told information that conflicts with what she knows about the Horde, and oh yeah, she somehow randomly transforms into an 8-foot-tall legendary warrior princess. Then she and her captors get chased by a giant spider to an abandoned temple, which she’s able to open because she can apparently read a long-dead language, but then they’re trapped in the ruins.

Once they get out, she’s no longer being held captive, so she can now go back to the Horde. But she needs answers and decides to go to Bright Moon so someone can give her an explanation for all this crazy shit happening to her. At this point, is she thinking about Catra and what might be happening back home? No. But frankly, there is a lot on her plate! Like, life changing stuff. She can turn into a princess! But princesses are evil and the enemy! But this angry sparkly princess and nice archer guy are saying the Horde are actually the bad guys? What is going on? What is she?

Adora still intends to go back to the Horde, but she feels she can't do that until she gets more intel about what happening to her and what it means. She’s always wanted to know more about where she came from. This may be her only chance. And even though her overprotective streak sometimes makes Catra think she feels otherwise, Adora absolutely believes in Catra and knows she's smart and resourceful and can handle herself, so it doesn't occur to Adora that there's reason to worry.

Then Thaymor happens. They stop there for transportation, but Bow insists they stay for the party because he realizes Adora's life has been utterly depressing, and he wants her to experience something nice. I think it's pretty harsh to hold it against Adora that she gets excited and awed and distracted by encountering a party and eating good food for the very first time in her life ever. Can the girl please be allowed to live a little? Like, she's an anxious, guilt-ridden, duty-burdened mess 90% of the time, so let's maybe not blame her for having a good time for once.

That good time is pretty quickly ruined anyway. Reality ensues. The Horde ensues. Catra ensues. But even as Thaymor is attacked, Adora thinks it's a mistake. It's bad intel; she just has to explain, and the Horde will stop. It's only when she comes face to face with Catra that she understands the truth about the Horde and makes her decision to leave. Let’s be clear on this: Adora doesn't just leave the Horde without any consideration for Catra. Catra isn’t an afterthought here, she is literally standing right in front of Adora when Adora makes her decision.

Thaymor from Adora's perspective is finding out that her whole life has been a lie and that she doesn't know her best friend as well as she thought. What Adora sees is Catra being part of an attack on defenseless people and seeming to have zero concern or regret about it. What she perceives is Catra refusing to join the good guys and choosing to remain part of a lying, destructive army despite the truth of a burning village in front of them. What she feels is Catra disregarding her decision to leave and tasing her in the back as she tries to walk away.

It's important to remember that in this moment, Adora feels betrayed by Catra as much as Catra feels betrayed by Adora. People always talk about Adora breaking their promise by choosing to leave, but Catra breaks it too by choosing to stay. They both make decisions that hurt the other, and they both feel abandoned.

So that's what Adora is carrying with her in regards to Catra in early s1. She's internalized this betrayal, these hurt feelings, but she's also really trying not to let herself feel any of it. Not just because it hurts, but because it’s what she’s been taught to do. She’s well-practiced in denying herself, denying her pain and her wants and needs. This trait of hers is given specific attention in s5, but it's a necessary lens to view Adora through in every season. She won't ever put herself and her feelings first. She doesn't think she's allowed to be weak, to feel hurt and express that hurt, not when more important things are at stake. Shadow Weaver always said her feelings for Catra were a problem, and for the first time, Adora agrees, so she tries not to feel them.

She can also avoid thinking about Catra because she has so much to distract her. Catra is still in the Horde, surrounded by reminders of Adora, so it's impossible for her not to think of Adora. But Adora's situation is different. She's in a new environment, suddenly overwhelmed by a huge destiny and all these new experiences and stimuli and social dynamics she has never experienced in her life. So she puts all of her attention into learning the rules and expectations of this new life. She hyperfocuses on her duty as She-Ra.

That doesn't mean there aren't reminders of the past. Adora doesn't feel comfortable sleeping alone, and the clear implication is that she can't sleep without Catra. She isn't "playing around in beds," she just has no idea what to make of a soft bed because she's used to austere conditions. And she's certainly not able to forget what the Horde represents to the people she's now living with. She gets run out of Bright Moon because of the Horde symbol on her back, and she receives a thinly veiled threat from Angella in front of Micah's portrait. She doesn't feel secure in her place in the Rebellion, so she's definitely not going to talk about missing anything or anyone from the Horde, however much of it she actually lets herself feel.

Salineas is the first time Adora encounters Catra after Thaymor, and the wounds from that confrontation are still fresh. She asked Catra to come with her then, but all it got her was a taser to the back, so she's not feeling too charitable towards Catra and isn't keen on reaching out again. She's completely in She-Ra duty mode, trying to restore the Sea Gate to protect the kingdom from the Horde. But then, Catra isn't making real efforts to try and bridge the gap between them either. In fact, from Adora’s perspective, she appears to be perfectly happy widening it. 

While Adora is fixing the gate, she’s getting hit with electric feedback and also can't risk moving or fighting back, but that doesn’t stop Catra from lashing out at her. Catra mocks, scratches, punches. Even when she softens up a bit, she talks like Adora is just going through a phase. She's trying to convince Adora to come back to the Horde, but in the same way Adora wasn’t thinking about what Catra might face by covering for her while she was away, Catra’s not thinking about what it would actually mean for Adora to come back, the terrible consequences she would face as a defector.

Adora knows she can’t go back to the Horde, not just because of her morals, but also because it’s too late to do so without something bad happening to her. So she wonders, if Catra cares about her, why would she want to bring her back to that? If Catra cares about her, why won’t she just leave the Horde and come with Adora? Adora can't see into Catra's mind, so she doesn't know the underlying motivations and feelings driving her behavior. And Adora’s never really had the "you hurt me, so I'll hurt you back" impulse, so she’s more inclined to read Catra's aggressive actions towards her as a sign that Catra maybe doesn’t care about her as much as she once thought.

After Salineas, things continue to heat up between them during Princess Prom. This time Adora is highly confrontational towards Catra. She fully believes Catra is planning something bad, and she's absolutely right, though she still tries to save Catra's life when they fall off the cliff. That act doesn't seem to matter to Catra, and she ups the ante and hurts Adora worse then ever by taking Glimmer and Bow as hostages. 

Adora finally softens towards Catra when Catra returns the sword and let's her and Glimmer escape the Fight Zone. Up until that moment, Adora isn't sure that Catra still cares, but this is confirmation for her. The next time they meet, Adora makes a real effort to reach out, and she again asks Catra to leave the Horde. And they actually do start reconnecting a little, until Light Hope plays on Catra's insecurities with those memory simulations, in an attempt to drive them apart and get Adora to let go of Catra in the same way Shadow Weaver always wanted her to. 

And it does successfully drive them further apart and is the true beginning of Catra’s descent into villainous self-destruction and reality-destroying levels of resentment towards Adora. But what it doesn’t do is get Adora to let go of Catra. Because it doesn't matter what Light Hope and Shadow Weaver and even Catra say or do, Adora never can let go. She does eventually let go of the idea that she's the one responsible for Catra's actions, and she puts up boundaries and becomes harder towards Catra. But she never truly gives up on her or stops caring about her, even when Catra is at her most destructive and spiteful and personally hurtful towards Adora. 

But then, Adora letting go of her feelings for Catra wasn't ever the solution anyway. Because She-Ra's power comes from love, and Catra is the first person Adora loved, and the person she loves the most deeply. So Adora as She-Ra is at her most powerful when she's loving Catra and doing it without conflict, either between the two of them or within Adora herself.