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#maybe these events all happened on the same day
astr0n0va1 · 3 days
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𝐌𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 - 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐬 - 𝟒
Previous parts: Teaser , 1, 2, 3
Sorry about the long wait but heres pt.4, and I loved writing this part please share your thoughts. Thank you for your patience 💗.
2,148 words
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Monday arrived quickly and as you all made your way into AMMO headquarters everyone seemed to be in a good mood.
“So how was it?” Rita asked.
“Eventful.” You replied while making your way to your desk.
“Damm no details, you don’t even want to elaborate?” Rita said.
“No or at least not right now, maybe during lunch.” You commented.
“Fine but you better keep your word.” She said before picking up some files.
As the day went by, you luckily hadn’t encountered Armando. You saw him walk by a few times and then get called upstairs for something. Everyone watched as he got up and left. Kelly looked towards you, raising her eyebrows, you simply shrugged your shoulders and went back to your station.
“Okay, guys, Y/N and I are going out for lunch. We will see you all shortly,” Rita said, grabbing her keys.
You grabbed your bag and headed towards the door.
“Rita, Y/n where y’all going?” Asked Mike.
“To run some errands,” Rita responded.
“Okay, whatever. Y/N, we start training today at 6, don't forget.” He reminded you before walking off.
Skip to lunch
"Wait, so you guys kissed on the same night he disappeared from the house?” Rita asked, trying to understand.
“Yes, that's exactly what happened and now I’m not sure what to do. I can either ask him what’s wrong which I feel will make me look obsessive, or I can just pretend it never happened.” You say before taking a sip of your lemonade.
“It’s weird but if you like him ask him if you don’t then treat this as a small one-time hookup.” She added while staring out into the street.
“Rita, are you ok you keep staring off?” You state while trying to get her attention.
“I don’t know, do you ever get the feeling you’re being watched, I feel like that right now and my intuition usually doesn’t lie?” Rita explained.
“We can go if you want, just give me a second while I get Kelly’s order. I’ll meet you at the car.” You said before getting up.
You walked towards the register and waited in line while they finished the order. Some girl walked past you and dropped her card holder.
You tried to get her attention but she didn’t turn around, you ended up losing her in a crowd so you looked through the cards trying to find some sort of identification.
Her name was Rosanne Cabral, you admired her picture for a second and then looked for any useful information. You then found her address on her driver's license, and decided that you would go drop it off at her mailbox.
You picked up Kelly’s order and made your way to the car.
“What took so long?” Rita asked.
“They were understaffed.” You replied lying.
You didn’t want to lie to Rita but she was on edge and you didn’t want her to worry more. It was an act of kindness nothing bad could come from it. ——————————————————————
You arrived at the gym a little bit earlier than Mike and started stretching before warming up. Once Mike got there you both got started.
“Okay today we are going to train a little easy for the test so let’s start with push-ups until failure, then we’ll move into the 1.5-mile run practice and we’ll finish up with some pull-ups,” Mike said with an enthusiastic clap.
“Mike, I thought you were preparing me for the test, not war.” You said dramatically.
“Your test is in like 3 weeks. By the end of next week, I’ll have you ready but you need to follow my plan and stick to the routine.” He replies.
“Plus everything you do I’ll be doing along with you.” He said trying to motivate you.
You started up well but by your 30th push, you gave up. Mike just kept going, then during the 1.5 mile run Mike stayed behind you pushing you to go faster which made you hit your time for your mile.
For the pull-ups, you only got to 15 as you were exhausted by then. Mike looked at you as you laid on the floor.
“Girl that was nothing, you being dramatic.” He said while taking a sip from his water.
“Mike, I'm more of a yoga girl, I'm not a gym rat.” You explain while taking a sip from your water.
“Y/n I’m just messing with you, but your mile timing is good, and we will work on the rest. That’s what I’m here for.” He noted trying to encourage you.
“Thank you Mike but I’m debating about taking that test, we have enough people I don’t need to be out there.” You explained.
“What if one day the whole team is in danger, you’re going to have to go out there eventually.” He remarked trying to talk some sense into you.
“You’re right but that’s a what-if thing, I don’t think you all will ever let that happen.” You said.
You both started walking out towards the parking lot. You noticed Armando’s motorcycle still parked at the other end of the parking lot.
“Christine is making dinner tonight. Do you want to come over for dinner?” Mike asked while placing his bag in his trunk.
“Mike you know I never turn down dinner but…” He cut you off before you could finish.
“Great, we will see you there shortly,” he said before getting in his car and driving off.
You decided to just go in your gym outfit since you didn’t plan to stay for long. And you still had to go drop off the wallet too.You made it there 10 minutes after Mike got there, and by then they had set the table and were waiting on you.
“Hi Christine I’m sorry for dropping in your plans at the last minute, but Mike insisted I come for dinner.” You said before hugging her.
“Y/n you’re such a sweetheart, of course I don’t mind you coming for dinner.” She replied while leading you to a seat.
“Did you want to wait until Armando gets here?” Christine asked Mike before setting him up a plate on the table.
“He’s coming late, we can start without him.” He replied.
You felt relieved to hear that, your goal right was to leave before Armando got there.
Dinner flowed well and you all conversed about day-to-day life, your family, and other things. As you all finished Christine started clearing all the plates from the table, and before you went over to help Mike asked you something.
“So Y/n… still no boyfriend?” Mike asked in a curious tone.
You wiped your mouth and responded, “Sometimes our job makes it hard to settle down.”
“Come on Y/n be real with me. You and I know some people in the AMMO squad have had their eye on you, and not only just there.” Mike said.
“The only thing I know you might be referring to is the Louis thing, and honestly that was embarrassing.” You replied denying most things he implied.
“As far as I can see you have some good options. You have Rafe who’d do anything for you, Louis who just happens to be the mayor’s son, and a little somebody I know.” He said with a smile.
“Rafe and I are more platonic than anything, Louis has his head too far up his ass because his dad is mayor, and I don’t know who else you might be referring to. Now if you’ll excuse i’ll go help clean up.” You said before getting up to help Christine clear the dishes.
You helped her clear the dishes and wipe down the table. After that, you started getting ready to leave, and as you said goodbye to Christine and made your way over to Mike he offered to walk you out.
“My bad if I was being too nosy, and overstepped some boundaries Y/n.” He said apologetically.
“Mike it’s ok you have been like a father figure to me ever since I started this job, so I understand where you are coming from.” You clarified.
“Father figure..me? I’m honored. But just remember you’re always welcome to come by.” He said.
You hugged him and made your way to your car. As you walked closer to your car you noticed that Armando had just arrived. He took his helmet off and got off the bike, still not noticing you there.
You gathered your courage and went up to him.
“Hey, Armando.” You said trying to get his attention.
“Y/n” He replied, still not looking at you.
“How have you been?” You asked, trying to ease up into what you wanted to ask.
“Busy.” He replied now, finally turning to face you.
“Umm yeah definitely, I was wondering why did you leave Saturday night?” You asked.
“Had something I needed to take care of.” He replied dryly.
“Oh ok I was just wondering, but I do have something else to ask. I don't know how to say this but I’ll just try to spit it out. “ You explained while trying to put your words together.
He simply stared at you implying for you to talk.
“I just wanted to know where we stood after last weekend.” You asked trying to keep yourself together, and not let your nerves show.
“It was a kiss and we will both get over it. You should just go on and forget that anything ever happened, " he replied, seeming annoyed by the question.
Your throat felt dry and your eyes started to string with the feeling of tears you were holding back. You managed to keep yourself together and respond,” Oh ok Yeah maybe it is for the best.”
After that, you both stared at each other for a few seconds. But then just you made your way into your car, and he walked up the driveway and into Mike’s house.
Once he was out of sight, you started to lightly cry and started driving away. After a few minutes of driving, you pulled over on the side of the road and wiped your face. You sat and thought about it all, but what bothered you the most was how it just changed all of a sudden
How one day you were both trying to open up to each other and he’s just saying it’s best if you both forget everything.You took a deep breath out and tried to calm yourself down, but then you remembered that you still had the cardholder.You decided to drop it off before going home. The drive would help you clear your head and would also keep you from going home and sulking in your bed.
The drive took around 20 minutes from the side of town you were on. By the time you arrived, it was a little over 9:30 and the street was a empty.
It was a nice apartment building, but because the mailbox access was private you had to go to the apartment itself.
You walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, a girl opened the door.
“Hi, can I help you?” She asked.
“Hi you dropped this earlier today and I saw it on the floor but when I tried to get your attention I don‘t think you heard me. I did have to look at your license to get here so I hope you don’t mind.” You explained.
“Oh my god thank you so much you’re a lifesaver, but it’s all good at least you got it back to me.” She said, expressing her thanks to you.
“No problem.” You responded before almost turning around to leave.
“How can I repay you?” She asked before you could leave the front of her door.
“No, there's no need.” You said trying to kindly deny her generous offer.
“No, I insist I’m new here in Miami and it’s been a rough start. Please let me at least invite you to brunch or something.” She said insistently .
“I’ll accept your invitation but only because I know how hard it can be to make new friends here in Miami. But this is not you repaying me because it is not necessary.” You said finally accepting.
You then gave her your number, and before you left you realized you hadn’t gotten her name.
“I’m sorry but I never got your name?” You asked before leaving.
“It’s Rosanne but I go by Rose.” She replied.
“Ok then just let me know for brunch and I’ll get back to you.” You said.
“Ok, I will thank you so much.” She said before going back in.
You walked back to your car and got in. It was only monday but the week had just started off strong.
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Taglist: @cardi-bre91, @believeinthefireflies95, @blackgirlmagicforever , @bootlegroach , @mentalidrainedfangirl , @lotusunique, @thesizzler , @marissa53115 , @yeahnohoneybye @housewifewithnohusband22
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Musings: Yuu and Grim, Ace and Deuce and the Overblots
I think if Ace and Deuce never met Grim and Yuu on that faithful day the two wouldn't be friends or even if, they wouldn't be close as they are.
Yuu/MC is kinda like one of the catalyst that made those to friends and which also caused a domino effect that caused Riddle overblot to expedite.
I say expedite because given that Riddle was already carrying his burden long ago and Ace has always been a loud mouth, they'd probably still butt heads but maybe not as fast as it did in the OG story. Ace punching Riddle because of what he said to Yuu ignited the first OB.
In connection with this, I think that all overblots are inevitable.
Riddle due to excessive use of his magic thru collaring people
I'm sure Leona's plan would've still failed one way or another as the Diasomnia gang would not be shaken and Malleus and Lilia are powerful enough to stop a stampede. Leona woud've overblotted still. The difference in the current timeline is Yuu was employed by Crowley to solve the issue, where in turn Ace and Deuce got dragged in, where in turn so too did the Heartslabyul gang and Jack.
Azul? Well everything has its limit, his contracts that serve as a failsafe would probably fail in due time given the sheer number of students he binds with his magic. Maybe later on but since he's a ticking time bomb of self doubt who knows. His OB happened earlier cuz he just happened to mess with Yuu's friends, whom they cared about. A series of shenanigans occur and with that OB Azul being defeated.
Jamil would've still overblotted because even if his plan to throw Kalim is successful, do you think the Asim would let their servant stay in NRC when their master could not? There's consequences to his momentary taste of freedom and its just very sad. This alternative future didn't happen because he used the Prefect in his plans which eventually backfired, hence the current timeline.
Vil already almost cursed Neige, and even if his plan was not thwarted, he did that decision in a state of distress . I argue even if he choose different vdc members he'd still do the same due to the crippling pressure he put on himself. He still would've overblotted. Deuce's unique magic played an important part in defeating Vil's overblot, and the fact that VDC was able to still happen without outsiders knowing the destruction that OB Vil caused (Which would had been bad for Vil's PR) was thanks to Malleus arriving early cuz he got an invitation from Yuu and was eager to be on time.
Idia, has been keeping it all in, all this time. If the 5 other people overblotted earlier whos to say his overblot wouldn't had happen earlier too? Nobody woud've been able to thwart him, not when the dorm leaders at this point had not been saved from their OB. In fact the OB students probably would have been captured by STYX earlier and locked up. Only the possibility of the 5 previous OB being defeated would lead to the event that OB Idia could be defeated too, such which is the current timeline.
Malleus overblot would've happened with Yuu or without Yuu. Lilia would still leave regardless of the narrative and it'll end up the same, except there's no Yuu to assist. Silver could fight, but even in dreams he couldn't do it alone. If Idia wasn't there to assist, if the other students are not there cuz they were taken away by STYX or dropped out, would Silver even have a chance?
If overblot is caused by the exhaustion of one's magic, then what happened would've still happened except with a different ending.
My point is, albeit Yuu/MC and Grim are often in the background and a place holder for the player, they're not entirely "just there". They still move the narrative by simply existing. (Well, they are the main character so ofc they narrative revolves around them)
Yuu and Grim, being with Ace and Deuce, the story forwards itself further because meeting the duo is what resulted to meeting Riddle and all the events happening as is.
Point is, Ace and Deuce are as important as Yuu and Grim.
Anyways,also, I love the YuuVerse and they are far more interesting than just a bystander.
Byeeee
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Ao3 Link because this one is a bit long <3
Buck ducks his head on his way into the station, hoping that it's one of those days where everyone else is too caught up in their own stuff to notice that he’s kind of spiraling.
It's not that he wants everyone to be going through stuff. And really, thinking that might bring it into existence, and the 118 already feels cursed enough as is. So, Buck really doesn't want anyone to be dealing with emotional baggage on the same level as what he's dealing with but-
"You alright?" Bobby asks as he turns off the stove, pulling everyone's attention toward Buck which is exactly what he doesn't need right now.
"Fine. Just thinking," Buck replies easily, ignoring the way Eddie is leveling him with an I know you're lying because you're a worse liar than Christopher look.
Before Eddie can say anything, Chimney points a piece of bacon at him and chimes in, "Uh oh. That's dangerous."
"What's more dangerous are the thoughts he isn't willing to share with the class," Hen says, eyebrows raised in an almost accusatory way. "So, what aren't you telling us?"
Buck shakes his head with a frown. "Nothing," he states, taking a place at the table and shoveling food on his plate, hoping it's the end of this conversation.
Eddie leans over and lowers his voice to ask, "You're not having nightmares again, are you?"
"No," Buck replies honestly, although after the events of last night, he just might.
"Maddie hasn't said anything, so it's not family related,'' Chimney very unhelpfully adds.
"Are you and Tommy okay?" Hen asks.
The grimace is entirely involuntary.
"Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!" Chimney says with a laugh which dies down quickly when Bobby gives him a look.
"What happened?" Hen questions softly.
Bobby takes the opportunity to clear his throat. "Buck, you don't have to answer any of their questions if you don't want to, after all, we are all at work."
"When has that stopped anyone before?" Chimney asks, getting a swift kick in the shin by Hen in response.
The tiniest bit of relief floods his system when everyone stops pressing and moves on. Well, besides the occasional lingering glance of curiosity, they mostly move on. But the smallest part of Buck wishes they would press on because he has to tell someone, and while they are some of the nosiest people he's ever met, they're also family.
"I called Tommy the wrong name last night!" Buck blurts out.
Everyone stops mid-conversation to look at him.
"I called him the wrong name... and he left."
The amusement on Hen's face slips right off as she puts a hand over Buck's. "Oh, Buck."
Eddie swallows his food audibly before gently asking, "Left as in..."
Buck glances his way, taking in the soft sympathy in Eddie's eyes. "Left the apartment with a quick goodbye saying he needed time to think about things, and he hasn't talked to me since. It's been twelve hours."
"That's not too bad. What we really need to know is what name you called him. Then we can figure out the damage. And hey, I've had many girls call me the wrong name, and the longest I waited was maybe a day before speaking to them again," Chimney says.
"I don't think you're the best person to be giving advice about this," Bobby says with his ever-present small smile.
"Hey, I'm married now! I think I'm doing pretty great."
Bobby turns his attention back to Buck. "Hey, kid. We've all been there, okay? You're still in the early stages of this relationship, and it's natural to revert to old tendencies - including calling someone the wrong name. Hell, I've called Athena my first wife's name before; there's nothing to be ashamed of."
Buck shakes his head and stares down at the table. "But it was... really bad this time."
"This time?" Ravi asks in disbelief, only to be ignored as Buck continues.
"He didn't even look mad. He just looked... disappointed. And I thought it was something we could laugh off because really it was just a slip of the tongue! I mean, I didn't mean to call him 'Bobby!'"
An eerie silence settles in the station as everyone takes in what was said.
Buck tries to defend himself with a quick, "Uh-" But is immediately cut off by the bell going off.
On the way to the scene, everyone glances at Buck who finally says, "Okay, so Tommy has a daddy kink."
"Yeah, I could've gone my whole life without knowing that," Chimney sighs.
"And!" Buck continues, "Daddy and Bobby are... kind of similar sounding, you know? Daddy... Bobby..."
"If you say 'daddy' one more time, I will revoke Uncle Buck privileges," Chimney groans.
Hen shrugs and says, "There's nothing wrong with a daddy kink as long as everyone is consenting. Now a Bobby kink..."
There's a mixture of laughter from Hen and Chimney, an ay dios from Eddie, a mumbled what is happening from Ravi, and Bobby pointedly tries to ignore the conversation.
"We were in the kitchen and he handed me-!"
"Nope! I do not want to hear about your sex life, Buckaroo!"
Buck frowns at Chimney for a moment before his eyebrows shoot up in shock. "Oh! No! You all think I- Oh god. No. No." Buck shakes his head seriously and continues, "The kink extends outside of the bedroom. He likes it when I call him that all the time. Like when we're having dinner or when we're making dinner. Which is exactly when it happened last night. See, Bobby and I cook all the time, plus like I said Bobby and Da-"
"Alright, we're one minute out, let's wrap this conversation up please," Bobby says, as the tips of his ears turn red.
"Yes, d- Bobby. Shit," Buck mutters, ignoring the cackling around him. Who knew a minute could last so long?
Luckily, the call isn’t too bad – a car accident with the worst injury being minor airbag burns. They're able to clear the scene quickly - too quickly in Buck's opinion because none of them forget their previous conversation.
On the ride back, it takes less than a minute before Eddie asks, "So, I don't get it. You misspoke, and Tommy just... walked out?"
"If it was during sex... that would definitely be off-putting, but you would think you could just laugh it off even if it killed the mood," Hen thinks aloud, "But what exactly did you say when you called him Bobby?"
Buck shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he recalls the moment. "He just asked me to hand him the garlic powder, and I said 'Yes, Bobby' and immediately started laughing about it because I thought we could just laugh it off. But when I saw he wasn't laughing I apologized because it was an honest mistake, but he said the thing about taking time to figure things out, and he walked out."
"Maybe he didn't want to be compared to Cap because he's ancient," Chim jokes, trying to lighten the mood a bit.
Hen laughs and looks at Bobby. "You have no comeback today?"
"Don't need one if being ancient got me Athena."
There's a series of cooing, awws, and catcalls from everyone as they're quick to tease Bobby who throws a proud smile over his shoulder. Buck tries his hardest to focus on the secondhand love he feels for their relationship but notices how dim it is when compared to his tarnishing relationship. Bobby must notice it because he's quick to say, "Tommy is a good man. He'll come around."
Buck nods, lost in the thought of what if he doesn't? and too distracted by it to conceal his other thought, "Yeah, if he can get over me calling him Eddie in bed then he should be able to get over this, right?"
A weird strangled noise comes out of Chimney's mouth and Hen's jaw visibly drops. But Buck's eyes shoot to Eddie when he realizes what he just confessed.
Eddie just smiles, looking disturbingly undisturbed and a little amused and maybe… proud?
A minute of silence passes by before Ravi of all people asks, "So is no one going to question what was just said?"
Eddie shakes his head and laughs. "Come on, you guys. You said it yourself it happens to everyone. And I've had my fair share of partners who have gotten offended because they thought I said 'Buck' but 'Buck' and 'fuck' sound very similar."
"Just like 'Eddie' and 'baby' sound similar," Buck rushes to say, jaw tight, nodding quickly in agreement.
"Yeah because I'm sure that..." Chimney trails off and throws his hands up. He shoots Hen a look and asks, "Do you want to take this one?"
Hen blows out a deep breath of air and shakes her head. "They don't pay me enough to even begin to unpack this."
Eddie rolls his eyes and bumps his knee against Buck's. "This doesn't change a thing between us, okay?” He lowers his voice to say, “And between you and me, there was definitely one time I clearly said your name, so I guess we're even."
"You realize our radios are all on the same channel, right?" Bobby asks with barely veiled amusement.
Eddie's eyes widen for a second before he straightens up and fixes everyone with a flat look, almost daring them to say anything.
"Does this happen often?" Ravi asks naively.
"With these two idiots?" Hen asks.
"Yes," comes the answer from Chimney, Hen, and Bobby.
Buck crosses his arms, but he can't feel too bad when Eddie shoots him a small private smile.
Soon enough, they get back to the station, and Buck can sense something is off when he's the last to get out of the truck.
"Someone is here to see you, Buck," Bobby says, his smile tighter than usual before he squeezes Buck's arm and walks past him. Buck glances over everyone else's shoulders and finds Tommy standing there, hands in his pockets looking slightly uneasy.
"So, I'm assuming everyone knows," Tommy comments to the group who all look around uncomfortably.
"I think Cap said something about cleaning something upstairs," Ravi says before running off. He's definitely one of their smartest firefighters and probably their least nosy - maybe there's a connection there. Buck doesn't have much time to think about it as everyone rushes past him, giving him looks of encouragement and poorly concealed grimaces.
"Hi, Tommy," Buck says, purposefully saying his name to prove to both of them that he's capable of it.
"Evan," Tommy replies easily. He glances up and sighs, "Let's go somewhere a bit more private, hm?"
Buck turns and finds everyone including Bobby leaning on the railing upstairs, trying to overhear. Buck furrows his eyebrows and frowns at them, shaking his head - although he knows if the roles were reversed, he would definitely be doing the same thing.
He follows Tommy outside and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely.
Tommy nods, the ever-so-slight smile appearing on his face. "I know." He just looks out around them, glancing up at the sky as if trying to determine the impending weather. Buck nearly makes a joke about it, but Tommy beats him to speaking first. "I'm sorry that I walked out like that. I should have said what it was that was bothering me, but I truly needed the time to get my thoughts together."
"And that's okay. You can take all the time you need."
Tommy nods again before finally looking at Buck. "Evan, I think we both know what I'm about to say."
Buck's heart sinks to his stomach as he shakes his head. "No, I really don't."
Tommy glances over his face, frowning for a moment before fixing him with a look of... pity? "You really don't know, do you?"
Buck shakes his head, but he's pretty sure he can tell when someone is breaking up with him. So maybe he should nod, but this feels like something more than that.
Tommy puts his hands in his pockets and takes a step closer to him. "The reason I left like that wasn't because I was angry that you called me Bobby. And really, it was funny as hell given the situation."
"But?" Buck can't help but ask.
"But," Tommy continues, "It was your reaction that startled me." Buck shakes his head, confused as ever. Tommy just sighs. "Evan, you were genuinely startled by it and taken off guard. You immediately laughed it off, and I knew it was nothing. But that made me remember the other time when you said Eddie's name-"
"Which was also an accident!" Buck cuts him off, quickly, almost desperately.
The look Tommy gives Buck nearly makes him want to take the statement back. "Please, Evan. You didn't just laugh it off then, and we both know it. And we always avoided bringing it up because we both knew what happened. From the beginning, I accepted that it was only a matter of time before you figured it out."
"Figured what out?" Buck questions weakly.
Tommy pauses, seemingly debating if he's going to tell him or not. Eventually, he settles on saying, "Both times were an accident. But one was an honest mistake while the other... wasn't."
There's a moment where Buck almost brushes it off and says I don't know what you're talking about. They were both a mistake. But he can't lie to himself or Tommy anymore, and he can see the moment that Tommy registers that, expression dropping to something somber but not surprised.
"You got my attention, Evan. But whose attention was it that you were really after?" Tommy asks, slowly backing away.
"I really liked what we had!" Buck interjects before Tommy can get away.
Tommy gives him a small smile. "I did too. But we both knew it was only a matter of time." He hesitates before walking up to Buck and pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye, Evan. And go talk to Eddie, please."
Buck huffs out a small humorless laugh, experiencing a weird sense of deja vu. He watches as Tommy walks away and doesn't say anything in response because if he fucks up his name one more time, he doesn't think he will ever recover.
As he makes his way back into the station, he notices that most people are upstairs actually minding their own business. But then he catches Eddie watching him carefully and slowly approaches him.
"I take it that went well?" Eddie asks.
Buck chuckles and glances over his shoulder to where Eddie must've had a clear view of their conversation. "Were you watching me?"
Eddie shrugs. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."
He says it so casually yet sincerely that it makes Buck duck his head, trying to fight the blush that threatens to color his cheeks. "Yeah, I'll be okay."
"So, everything is good then?"
Buck pauses and considers what Tommy had said – go talk to Eddie. “Yeah, things are… good.”
Eddie raises his eyebrows slightly, definitely not believing Buck’s weird tone.
Buck sighs and looks down. “Okay. They’re not good. But they’re fine. We broke up- amicably! And… I’m fine.”
Eddie takes a step closer and tilts his head down so Buck looks him in the eye. “Are you sure?”
It takes a moment for Buck to process what Eddie has said- he always gets flustered when he stands this close. He wonders how he pushed it all down before. But he remembers all the pep talks he would give himself to confess things to Eddie before finding out he was seeing someone new, and all the times he was with Christopher and knew that he would do anything for the kid. Anything meaning not dating his dad and fucking up their whole dynamic. And that’s the thing about Buck, he never knows how to keep a good thing. And if Eddie were the one to leave… he thinks it might destroy him.
“I will be fine,” Buck insists and plasters on a smile. “And don’t worry, I won’t stop your and Tommy’s whole bromance thing. So don’t stop hanging out because of me.”
Eddie frowns and puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb resting on his collarbone. “You know you’re my best friend, right? Even if I’m out with Tommy, you can always call me, and I’ll be by your side in a heartbeat.”
“Even if he’s flown you to a different state?” Buck jokes.
“I’ll make him fly back even faster. Maybe even see if he can land where you are,” Eddie answers, smiling wide and sincerely. Buck laughs.
They remain there for a few moments just smiling at each other before the moment is interrupted. “Everything okay?” Bobby asks cautiously.
“It will be,” Buck says with a nod because it will be.
He just hopes it will be sooner rather than later.
-:-:-:-:-:-
Buck’s in Eddie’s kitchen the Thursday after the breakup, staring at the calendar with the dumb circle around the date. Basketball pick-up game with Tommy.
Jealousy still swirls in the pit of Buck’s stomach, and he’s no longer trying to fool himself that he’s jealous of Eddie. He never really has been, and he wonders if Eddie knows that. Because Thursdays are Eddie and Tommy’s night. Even with Christopher’s absence and Buck’s extended stays at Eddie’s, Thursdays are the nights Tommy comes over to distract Eddie from the emptiness for a while.
But tonight, Eddie asked Buck to come over and have dinner with him probably knowing Buck would’ve had the tiniest mini spiral on his own. And Buck wonders what he’s done to deserve such an amazing best friend.
He glances in the pantry, wondering if he should tell Eddie to cancel the pizza order he'll be picking up on his way home in favor of Buck making something that will distract him from his thoughts. Just as Buck picks up his phone, there's a rattling of keys in the front door that makes Buck nearly jump out of his skin as he rounds the corner until he sees Eddie pushing the door open.
"You're early," Buck states as he takes the pizza out of his hands.
"Basketball ended early today," Eddie replies easily.
Buck narrows his eyes at him because he's pretty sure the only way that's true is if basketball ended early only for Eddie. "Right."
"I'm going to shower. Find something for us to watch tonight."
As Eddie goes down the hall, Buck calls after him, "You know you don't have to baby me, right?"
"Who else am I supposed to baby with Chris gone?" Eddie yells back, knowing that Buck can't really argue with him. He only wishes he had something to throw at him in response. He really should've made some popcorn.
While Eddie quickly showers, Buck set the pizza down in the living room and grabs two beers, plates, and napkins before settling on the couch. He opens Netflix and goes to his account, knowing Eddie’s is full of romcom suggestions that he pretends to hate, and picks out a random true crime documentary that fulfills Buck’s thirst for random knowledge and Eddie’s thirst for drama.
Eddie joins him a few minutes later wearing slightly ratty sweatpants and an old t-shirt that clings to his chest and arms just right.
Buck averts his gaze before Eddie can catch him staring, although he thinks he might be too late because he sees Eddie watching him carefully out of the corner of his eye. Buck grabs the remote and presses play in hopes of distracting him, but weirdly enough, Eddie’s gaze never really seems to leave him. At one point, Buck even glances over and gives him a questioning look which Eddie answers with a shake of his head before looking at the TV only to glance back at Buck a few moments later.
When the documentary comes to an end, Buck has absorbed about none of it and he doubts Eddie has either. So instead of talking about it, he grabs their empty plates and heads to the kitchen hearing Eddie trailing behind him with their empty bottles.
“Want another one?” Eddie asks as Buck rinses off their plates.
Buck shakes his head. He has a feeling that Eddie is about to ask him how he’s doing or something, and although another beer won’t really affect his cognitive abilities, Buck rather not take any chances. Once he’s through with putting the plates in the dishwasher, he turns carefully and leans against the counter, locking eyes with Eddie who lingers by the fridge, eyebrows furrowed in thought.
“Is there something you need to talk to me about?” Eddie questions, throwing Buck for a loop.
“Me? I was going to ask you the same thing after you found me more entertaining than that documentary,” Buck jokes.
Eddie frowns and looks away from him. “I did not.”
“Tell me one thing that happened during it.” And Buck really hopes he doesn’t say anything because he wouldn’t be able to confirm it.
Luckily, Eddie stammers for a moment before sighing, “I was staring out of concern after Tommy said…”
Buck's heart drops to his stomach as Eddie trails off. “What did he say?”
Eddie pauses and crosses his arms. “He asked if you had talked to me, and I told him you told me about the breakup, but he acted like there was something more that you needed to say.”
Buck crosses his own arms to try to hide how much his hands are starting to shake.
“Is there more?” Eddie asks.
There’s a moment where Buck almost says, No. I don’t know what he’s talking about. But then he hesitates, wondering if this is it. This is his moment.
Before he knows it, too much time has passed for him to lie and say there’s nothing, so Buck lets out a deep breath and takes a seat before he does something dumb like lock his knees for too long and pass out mid-confession. He looks up at Eddie who begins leaning against the fridge, head framed by one of Chris’s tests with a big A on it.
“I never told you why we broke up,” Buck confesses. “I never even told you the truth about why we started dating.” He pauses and looks down, unable to look at Eddie’s reaction as he continues. “You know, when I met Tommy, I thought he was pretty cool with the whole flying-a-helicopter-through-a-hurricane-to-help-us-without-asking-any-questions thing. I mean. Who does that? So, yeah I asked him for a tour because I wanted to get to know the guy - as a friend.
“And then, I saw him with you,” Buck looks up at Eddie, reimagining the moment. “And you were so happy with him. Happier than I’d seen you in a while, and I knew I should’ve been happy that you got a new friend. But I was devastated. And I felt so guilty about it, especially after the whole basketball thing. I told Maddie about what happened, and she told me all about this best friend she had and how she got jealous when she got a new best friend, and I thought… that was it. As selfish as it was, I wanted to be your one and only best friend.”
Buck pauses, wondering if he should cross this line, but Eddie nods gently in encouragement, brows furrowed as he takes it all in, and Buck continues, “But that wasn’t it. And deep down, I think I knew what was really happening, and I didn’t want to admit it. So, I changed the narrative in my head a bit… I think? Honestly, things aren’t one hundred percent clear to me about how I repressed it - but all of a sudden I was so sure that I was jealous of you. That I was jealous of you hanging out with Tommy. And that’s what I told him before he kissed me, and things just progressed from there. And really, I was happy with our relationship, he was great, and he was… kind of like you. But…” he trails off, words on the tip of his tongue but unwilling to fully let them escape.
“But?” Eddie prompts so gently that Buck almost doesn’t hear it.
In one breath, Buck says, “But he wasn’t you.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up so fast that Buck would find it comedic if it was in any other situation. “So, you’re saying…” Eddie asks, head cocking to the side.
“Calling Tommy ‘Bobby’ was an accident,” Buck states, uncomfortably straightening up in his chair as he prepares himself for what he’s about to say. “Calling him your name was not.” And just to put the final nail in the coffin Buck says, “And it was never his attention I was after. It was yours. I wanted you, but I couldn’t handle the thought of telling you and ruining things between us. I never wanted to jeopardize our friendship or my relationship with Chris, but here I am… doing exactly that.”
Eddie purses his lips and nods for a few long moments before turning to the fridge and opening it up, grabbing two beers, and setting them on the counter.
“I’m good, Eddie.”
Eddie shakes his head. “No, these are both for me.”
Buck feels his entire being shrink in on itself and he wonders if this is the worst rejection he’s ever felt.
“To think,” Eddie clarifies quickly, walking over to place a hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb soothing over his collarbone. “About everything you said - which absolutely won’t ruin our relationship or your relationship with Chris. I promise. I just need a few minutes.”
And that’s all Buck needed to hear to know no matter the result of this conversation, things would be okay.
He stands up quickly, suggesting, “Why don’t I let you sleep on it?”
Eddie gives him a look mid sip that says no before he can actually say anything. “The only way you’re letting me sleep on it is if you stay the night on the couch because I’m not letting you doom spiral in your apartment.”
“I wasn’t going to…” Buck trails off when Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Okay, yeah, I would’ve spiraled on my own. But let me at least give you some space to think.”
Eddie nods, eyes staring off into space entirely unfocused.
Buck quietly says, “Okay,” under his breath and goes to the living room, closing the kitchen door behind him. He takes a deep breath and settles on the couch, trying to make himself comfortable but failing entirely. He takes out his phone and starts typing a message to Maddie saying this is probably crazy but remember that time you said something like whatever I had to tell Eddie I would tell him in my own time? well, guess who just found out what you meant by that and told their best friend they’re in love with them???
But then he remembers Maddie will tell Chimney and Chimney will tell Hen and Hen will tell Karen and Athena and Athena would tell Bobby and… really he does not want everyone to know he confessed his feelings for Eddie before Eddie has time to process those feelings.
Buck sighs and goes through his apps before going to Google and looking through whatever is trending in searches before going down a rabbit hole that becomes a fairly decent distraction until he thinks Man, I need to send this article to Eddie. Then he gets an achy feeling in his chest.
Quite a few minutes pass before Buck gets a sudden dry feeling in his mouth and he realizes he needs water. This is arguably the worst time to need water when the kitchen is off-limits, but he doesn’t think he could drink straight from Eddie’s bathroom sink faucet without feeling weird about it. Plus, he’s sure Eddie will understand, and he won’t interrupt his moment if he’s quick about it.
So, Buck makes his way to the kitchen, pulling the door open only to find Eddie pushing it open on the other side.
“Hey,” Buck says with a small smile.
“Hey,” Eddie responds, eyes trailing over Buck’s features as if taking them in for the first time.
A few seconds pass before Buck finally asks, “Do you mind if I get some water?”
Eddie shakes his head and steps back out of Buck’s way. But as Buck steps forward, Eddie shakes his head and says, “Wait, I’ll get it for you.”
Buck frowns, trying to interpret Eddie's body language, but he's not sure if he's ever seen him so... nervous or maybe... flustered?
As Eddie walks back to where Buck is lingering in the doorway, his eyes roam over Buck before he snaps himself out of it, shaking his head and handing Buck a glass of water. He turns and rubs his hands over his face. "Dios," he mumbles.
Buck doesn't say anything as he sips on his water, leaning against the doorframe and taking in Eddie's spiral. It's simultaneously comforting and nerve-wracking. After a few moments of silence, Buck finally asks, "You okay?"
Eddie pauses and glances up at him. Buck's almost sure that Eddie is about to lie and say he's fine, but right as he opens his mouth, he closes it and shakes his head. Buck wants to step forward and comfort him, but he hesitates, wondering if the push into Eddie's space will scare him away.
Eddie takes a few steps toward Buck, effectively making Buck feel pinned up against the doorframe. "I have been trying to replace the hole Shannon left in my life since she passed. And I've been finding all these replacements that never felt right. Hell, I found Shannon's doppelganger, and it still wasn't right. And I always thought that she was just irreplaceable. And I was right. No one will ever be Shannon, and no one will be able to replace her role in Christopher's life or what I had with her. And that’s okay. But... while I pursued all these women for the wrong reasons, I never realized that Shannon wasn't the only reason why things never worked out."
Eddie takes a deep breath and takes another step closer to Buck. "There was always this small part of me that knew that no matter what happened with my relationships, it didn't matter because you would always be there - for me and Christopher. But I never really considered that this," Eddie makes a quick motion between him and Buck, "could even be an option. And I feel..." He trails off as he stares at Buck.
"Uncomfortable?" Buck asks slightly cowering in on himself, prepared for the mental hit Eddie's answer will be.
Eddie gives him a flat look, completely shutting down all of Buck's thoughts. "Like an idiot," he states as if it's the most obvious answer. Eddie crosses his arms and takes another step toward him. "I mean, I’ve always known you were attractive. Sometimes I would wonder what it would be like to be one of your girlfriends – especially when they didn’t treat you right. I would imagine what I would do if I was them.” He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “Hell, I used to call Ana your name often enough that Chris tried to make it an inside joke. At the bachelor party, I really should've known though because as soon as I saw you and Tommy together I felt... awful." Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "For a minute there, I was confused as hell wondering if I was suddenly homophobic."
Buck can't help but burst out laughing.
"It's true!" Eddie laughs and hits Buck on the arm. "I had to reevaluate my feelings when Karen and Hen walked in, and I became very aware that it was just a you and Tommy thing. Then, I thought maybe I was just jealous seeing you close to Tommy or maybe seeing Tommy close to you. But that didn't really make sense because I've been so excited whenever you hit it off with anyone else in my life."
"So, how did you rationalize that thought?" Buck asks, curiosity getting the best of him.
"I got blackout drunk and didn't think about it again." The answer is so immediate that Buck can't help but laugh again. Eddie smiles at him and nudges him on the shoulder. "I should say, I didn't think about it again until about half an hour or so ago"
Buck can't help but look at him a bit bashfully. "Sorry about that."
"Don't be," Eddie says, hand landing on Buck's shoulder. "Don't ever be sorry about telling me how you feel even if it sends me into an identity crisis of sorts."
Buck cocks his head to the side. "Identity crisis meaning...?"
"I might be into guys?" Eddie says more as a question than an answer, but it still makes Buck's heart skip a beat. "I'm not sure," Eddie confesses. He pauses, eyes roaming over Buck before breathing out, "I think I might just be into you."
Buck's brain lags for a few seconds as he processes what he's been dreaming about hearing practically since he met Eddie. After replaying the words in his head a few times, he can't help but ask, "Might?" But before Eddie can answer, Buck leans over far enough to set his glass down and effectively crowd into Eddie's space, "Because I know a way for us to confirm that you're definitely into me."
"Is that so?" Eddie asks, an amused smile gracing his face. The hand on Buck's shoulder slowly yet firmly travels up his shoulder to the back of his neck. "Do you want to show me?"
Buck doesn't trust any words that are about to come out of his mouth, so he lets out a shaky breath and nods, already feeling his cheeks flush and his eyelashes flutter involuntarily.
Eddie raises his eyebrows at him, and they both share a moment of this is really about to happen.
As they move closer together, Buck is sure something is going to interrupt them - like an alarm or an unwanted knock on the door.
But Buck's nose brushes against Eddie's gently, and then there's a breath shared between them before their lips connect gently.
Buck breathes in sharply, heart pounding in his chest, and Eddie responds by weaving his other arm around Buck's waist and pulling him in deeper as if he's trying to make them one whole entity. And who is Buck to deny him his wish?
Buck suddenly remembers that he also has arms which he uses to cup Eddie's face, and then he backs them up until his back is suddenly colliding with Eddie's fridge.
Eddie pulls back momentarily to make sure he's okay, and Buck laughs breathlessly before pulling him back in.
It feels like his first time on the job as a firefighter, the first time he and Eddie truly worked together as a team, and the first time he met Christopher. It feels right.
Buck smiles so wide that he has to pull away with a laugh that sounds almost like a sob, but he doesn't try to stop the happy tears that escape - especially when he sees Eddie in a similar state.
They both stare at each other in disbelief for a moment as they laugh and pull each other into a hug.
"I definitely just like you," Eddie chokes out.
Buck laughs and squeezes Eddie a little tighter.
They linger in the hug for a few moments longer than they usually would, swaying slightly. They slowly pull back to look at each other before resting their foreheads together. “This is real, right?” Buck questions quietly.
He can feel Eddie nod before he says, “It better be.”
Buck laughs softly. He pulls back and notices a faraway look in Eddie’s eyes. “You okay?”
Eddie nods and looks down. “I just wish Chris was here for this. He would probably roll his eyes at me and tell me that you were right in front of me the whole time. Or maybe he’d also feel like an idiot for not realizing that you’re all we need.”
Buck cups Eddie’s face again and redirects his gaze at him. “Hey, we’ll get to know what he thinks soon, okay? In the meantime, don’t you think it’s better that we work out all the kinks of turning what we had into something more before getting Chris involved?”
Eddie nods and laughs softly. “Of course, you already want to fix what we have before it's really begun.”
“I’m the guy who likes to fix things,” Buck says with a smile. “But I don’t think there’s much to fix here, you know?”
“Other than the years of dates, kisses, and declarations of love that I need to make up for,” Eddie comments cheesily.
Buck cocks his head to the side and feels his cheeks turning red. “Wow. Eddie Diaz is a romantic.”
“For you, I sure am,” Eddie flirts.
Buck can almost hear Christopher groaning at the line. “Declarations of love?” Buck recalls out loud.
A pinch forms between Eddie’s brows. “Yeah. You know that I love you.”
Buck frowns and tilts his head. “Really? Because I don’t think we’ve ever truly said that to each other.”
Eddie looks off as if trying to recall every moment they’ve spent together. He frowns and looks at Buck. “Another thing that should’ve made things obvious to us.” Buck laughs as Eddie smiles and grabs his shoulder. “But, just so you’re totally aware, Evan… I love you.”
“Yeah?” Buck asks with a big smile, already pulling Eddie back in for another kiss.
“Yeah,” Eddie mumbles against his lips.
A few moments later, Buck quickly pulls away and says, “I love you, too, by the way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Buck laughs, “Good. But I’m still going to spend as long as I can proving to you that I love you more than you know. That I love you and Christopher more than you both know.”
Eddie smiles at him so sweetly that Buck almost forgets that he’s allowed to openly stare – more than that… he gets to openly stare at that smile forever. “And we’re going to do the same for you.” There’s a pause before Eddie gets a slight mischievous glint in his eye. “Just try to refrain from calling me ‘Bobby,’ okay?”
Buck sighs and rolls his eyes, pulling away to put his glass in the sink.
There’s a sudden loud chime, and a moment later Eddie gasps.
Buck turns to find Eddie turning the phone to him with a text from Christopher reading I’m ready to come home Dad. Love you.
“Scratch what we said about working out the kinks?” Buck says with a breathless laugh.
Eddie nods and kisses him. “Let’s go get our kid.”
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bee-devilling · 2 days
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Oooh, that's so cool! Been a while since I listened to Ride the Cyclone. What's the fic about? And how much angst are we talking about? I am a sucker for angsty fics sometimes, whether or not I'm in the fandom.
The fic is set in an Everyone Lives AU (well, except Karnak and Virgil I guess. They're still very dead) but it goes into some detail as to how everyone is left after the accident. It ranges from temporary disabilities like broken bones, permanent disabilities like amputated limbs, and also not accident-related permanent disabilities, because when your body is under immense stress sometimes you discover shit you didn't realise you struggled with before.
But most of what I've written has been little bits and pieces after these events, some of which include:
All of the choir members learning ASL to communicate better with Ricky (unbeknownst to him, at least for the first while). Some members were fluent already (Specifically Constance. Noel would also sort of be in this category, but the second anyone tries to fingerspell something longer than 3 letters, he gives up.), some knew bits of it, like "please", "thank you", "yes" and "no", etc. and some were complete beginners. But they realised after the accident that Ricky has a lot to say, even if it wasn't verbally, and they wanted to bridge that gap. The first thing Ocean's signs to Ricky is a genuine, heartfelt apology for the way she's treated him.
Everyone is just A Little Off after the accident. Nothing big, no major health risks or nothing, and also I haven't quite decided what's happening to who. But one of them is just incredibly twitchy, and it's entirely uncontrollable. Another has levels of brain fog that is really starting to affect their studies. Another has heart palpitations, which took several incidents for them to realise they're not dying, this is just a thing that happens to them now. Not entirely the "came back wrong" trope, they're all basically the same people, but their bodies just didn't quite catch up to being reanimated.
Talia passing away. I feel a little horrible writing it, but I wanted to give her character a bit more respect than what most of the fandom gives her (which is just removing her in the quickest way possible to make room for Nischa) and I feel like letting Mischa grieve is a kinder way to remove her from the story. Also I haven't written the actual chapter in which this occurs yet, but I've written the 3 page letter (could be more, it's not 100% done) Talia sends Mischa to apologise for not telling him about her illness sooner.
Ocean dealing with hEDS after the accident (cos we love giving characters similar disabilities to me), because why not have her learn to stop spreading herself too thin by making a physical barrier in her way to stop her from pushing herself.
Mother-son bonding between Noel and his mom. Because yes, this is the woman who told her son to "dial it back" on his queerness but at the end of the day, it's 2009 in the middle of Bumfuck Nowhere, and I just feel that she wants her son to be safe above all else. Parents go about things the wrong way, but it doesn't make them inherently evil or abusive. Give her some understanding, some empathy.
Some of them just being a little queer. Or a lot queer. Noel fucking around with his gender expression, wearing dresses and makeup (though maybe not as risqué as the Monique Gibeau outfit), Ricky and Penny using each other to test out new pronouns, also I read a fic (I'll tag the writer if I can find it again) where Penny/Jane uses the name PJ and I wanna steal that idea so bad, I love it. Ocean cutting her hair short and wearing the "boys'" St. Cassian uniform (Butch Ocean is not a want, it's a need)
Anyway this is all I can remember right now, I'm sure there's more I could add. Thanks for the ask :D
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minthepm · 1 year
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no context
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stan-joe · 1 year
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hey link click fans just to make your day worse I'm pretty sure the entire last few episodes happened on lu guang's birthday
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canadianlucifer · 3 months
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WHY DOES ALL THE COOL STUFF HAVE TO HAPPEN IN AMERICA WHY CAN'T I HAVE THE FUNDS TO FLY AT LEAST 5 TIMES ROUND TRIP EVERY YEAR 😭😭😭
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smile-files · 26 days
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i continue to find ii3 baffling. why did they make it (this isn't to hate on the season, i'm genuinely curious)
#melonposting#this isn't meant to be ii neg by the way. i'm just confused about AE's writing choices#i don't remember if they ever said explicitly? at the very least i haven't heard an official answer#i don't think it was initially for any plot reason. my theory is that it's for the same reason bfb and tpot split#the episodes were taking really long to make and they wanted to go back to regular lighthearted uploads. which is understandable#so while ii2 was cooking they could still post new ii episodes with reasonable frequency#but that also raises so many questions#the biggest: why the hell is mephone here#seriously i know people like mephone but i'm sure having a different host wouldn't turn literally everyone off#and mephone hosting this show causes so many strange easily avoidable problems#like the screwy timeline. mephone ditches his show for what he experiences to be years and yet ii2 is continuing like normal#only a day has passed for them. why? maybe they'll try to explain it#in any event if ii3 had a different host this wouldn't even be an issue#but then they made ii3 really plot heavy for mephone which then ended up screwing itself over#the season justified itself as being mephone trying to escape from his problems#and he goes through character development to address all of his baggage and how much of a jerk he can be#that suddenly makes what seems to have been meant to be a lighthearted offshoot season into an imperative piece of his character (bizarre)#which would inevitably make his return to ii2 really weird cuz that would mean he had his redemption arc basically off-screen#but then they didn't even do that????? in the new episode mephone is still his old bastard self. nothing like late ii3 mephone#which means that they're effectively retconning ii3's plot out of existence. as it is ii 15 barely acknowledged anything specific from ii3#but this in particular is especially absurd. ii2 can continue like normal only because they're acting like ii3 never happened#which is just insane to me. why even give mephone character development in ii3 to begin with???????#why does ii3 even exist????????????????????? his character development is literally the in-universe justification for the season#i'm so confused#i'm just glad ii2 can proceed like normal :thumbsup: but these are seriously some puzzling writing decisions
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halfdeadwallfly · 9 months
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do i go to sleep bc it's christmas and i know my family will be up in the morning. or do i watch doctor who / read more go fanfiction bc i want to
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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 1 month
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i did a thing
#crocheting#it was a really shitty day and i don't want to talk about it. i just need to yap#i will probably unknowingly say some borderline deranged traumatizing things further but idk its just the way i am#my existence itself is a major trigger warning so be aware#the only highlight of the day was the (i suppose) wlw couple i saw at the subway while pulling out shit like burdock out of my dress#i won't elaborate on the last piece can i be a little mysterious and less pathetic#so the wlw couple. one girl hugged the arm of the other girl and put the head on her shoulder. i saw that and was like “damn”#if you have a person you can willingly do things like that with you should know i would kill god just to be in your shoes#please cherish it#i didnt really look at them that much but then we got off on the same station and somehow they managed to overtook me#they were right ahead of me still all over each other and then it has striked me#that the girl hugging the arm of the other one was actually disabled and she needed help to walk properly#actually they were faster than me because my legs today are a total mess lol it hurts like hell just to make a step#but this is obviously just a temporary inconvenience and its nowhere near the problem that girl has#i don't compare myself to her in this regard but ive found this parallel kinda poetic#like how i as a relatively healthy individual with no major health issues was envious as fuck of those two#how i was walking in 0.25x with a shit ton of thoughts in my head while she was limping happily with a girl in her hand and smiling#no pity just envy and pure admiration. i want what they have#but im not sure if I deserve it. or actually need it#if i actually had something like that in my hands i don't know whether or not i would crush it into pieces#and then cry over it to the day i die. do you get it. am i too dramatic or too shallow as a person#originally i planned to talk about another thing entirely but this day has crushed my head and heart like a hammer#and now its turned to mush#no i guess it was a mush since long ago. then lets say this day was just crap. or life itself#nothing really happened to me but it reminded me of how helpless i am as a person vs the world and i hate being helpless#maybe ill tell you the story of how i lost the sensation in my fingertips another time when im not that traumatised by life events#(i lost it by saving a damsel in distress after walking out of the night bar a year ago. its a clickbait)
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syrnyj · 10 months
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concept: a theatre play in which every show is just one part of the overall story.
the first couple of plays happen normally, with all the same lines and scenes in every one. then something clues one of the characters in to the fact that they have already lived through these events before, but something keeps bringing them back to the beginning.
from this point onwards, the protagonist begins trying everything they can think of to break the time loop, altering the plot of every show in the process & the final performance is the one where they finally succeed.
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toestalucia · 5 months
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guys we have a little problem
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s4pphoiduser · 2 years
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blind (2022) is driving me insane. im begging my friends to watch it but theyre either busy with exams or almost exclusively fluff/romance-watchers . i need to talk ab this w someone just hit me up or something GOD
#kdrama blind (2022)#blind 2022 spoilers#tvn ocn blind (2022)#so my theory is the same as other peoples' its confirmed that 13 yoonjae is sungjoon so im thinking sunghoon was there too (somehow idk) an#that hes 11 and jung inseong the juror is 12. 11 and 12 seem to be real brothers? bc in ep1 11 said 'go meet mom' and not 'go meet your mom#and maybe 11 and 13 escaped together after hiding under the floorboards? since sj Was adopted maybe he was taken in when the parents found#sh after they escaped together? and the thing is everyone is involved somehow so if the mother was like in a high position at the center (i#i didnt the lady at the start of ep7 for someone else) then how was sunghoon there? idk i havent gotten that far on my theory except that#hes 11. maybe they were Both adopted? so the next to die is either the lady  idr her name or the producer guy. 24 + 7 r confirmed dead now#13 is sungjoon. and inseong is def connected to this somehow like the rest of the jury. ergo my theory that hes 12. also i think the body#they found w ahn taeho's phone in ep8 is jung yoonjung's (yoonjae's older sister) bc of the necklace and the size of the skeleton. so now#they've found one body from the events of 20 years ago that happened at the center. all the jurors' kids will be killed as revenge for the#parents turning a blind eye on them as kids so theyre being punished by having their beloved children taken away from them. i think its#amazing how theyre all connected they dont know it at all. choi soongil was the only one who recognized ahn taeho (bc of the scar) and#yeom hyejin didnt know her father was sending kids to be abused and enslaved. kang youngki saw kids in numbered uniforms doing hard labor#never said a word bc keeping it a secret earned him money that he spent on his own kid who wouldve been around the same age as them.#from ep8 we see that the producer made a docu on the center and just buried it. and ofc mr baek who was the ringleader of all this.#his daughter killed on her birthday and kang youngki's daughter killed on her wedding day as retribution. im sad that ahn taeho died living#a life of guilt and fear moving around all the time but at least hes free from that now. im glad he got to apologize to 'yoonjae' for it#honestly i cant be mad at ahn taeho bc he was a survivor and a child and terrified. also is it just me or did sunghoon look disappointed#when ahn taeho confessed? like thats all the evidence i have supporting my theory that hes 11 i think. ofc theres the vibes? that he and#sungjoon have more history than the shows let on so far but if he was 11 he would be so disappointed bc he planned their escape#anyway come talk to me about this its driving me crazy
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astrxealis · 1 year
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one day it'll be crazy if i meet someone irl who actually likes and plays ffxiv before meeting me
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sweetteaanddragons · 2 months
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I have been thinking lately about a universe where Bruce Wayne killed the Joker.
I want to be clear here, since there are so many longstanding debates on this topic: I do not think Bruce Wayne should kill the Joker. I have just been wondering what would happen if the circumstances aligned in such a way that he did.
And to be clear on a related, yet slightly different topic: when I say I have been wondering about what if Bruce Wayne killed the Joker, I do not mean as the Batman. I mean Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.
Maybe it's kind of an accident? Like, he definitely did intend to hit the Joker, but he's Brucie right now, so he's trying not to look like he knows what he's doing while still doing enough damage to keep the Joker from killing someone, and meanwhile the Joker makes just the wrong move and -
And here we are. Brucie just killed the Joker.
Bruce's reaction here is one thing; he has his one rule for a reason, he's just broken it, he's determined to turn himself in -
His family's reaction is a whole different story. How does Cass feel about this?
How does Jason? Bruce has killed the Joker, just like he wanted, but it wasn't for him, not really, and -
And meanwhile, this happens in front of, say, a gala full of people, so now all of Gotham gets to react to it too.
Average Gothamite, seeing the words BRUCE WAYNE, JOKER, and KILLED in the same headline: OH, NO.
Average Gothamite, once they've processed the order those words are actually in: . . . I did not have that on this year's bingo card.
The city's most famous mass murderer has just been publicly killed by the city's biggest employer/philanthropist/source of tabloid harmless nonsense! Three days before Brucie was making tabloid headlines by tripping into a fountain and somehow losing his shirt in the process! Two weeks before, the newspaper was running a retrospective on the Wayne murders and what donation Brucie was making to help the families of victims this year! The article mentioned how one of his adopted sons had also tragically become a murder victim!
Now this has happened, and Bruce is having a breakdown over breaking his one rule, and the rest of Gotham just assumes that this is because poor Brucie thinks this somehow makes him like the man who killed his parents. They send a huge outpouring of support his way. This in no way helps Bruce's actual breakdown.
Ninety percent of Gotham is sure Brucie didn't actually mean to kill the Joker, and pretty much a hundred percent of them support him whether he meant to do it or not. No one wants to have anything to do with prosecuting this mess. Bruce is trying to make it as clear as possible that he will fully cooperate with the justice system and meanwhile an entire gala full of people is suddenly acting like they could in no way have possibly witnessed events that took place ten feet in front of their faces. Did Bruce kill the Joker? Is the officer sure? That doesn't seem like him. Maybe the Joker just tripped on his own. Marble floors, you know. Very slippery.
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cartoon-skeleton · 6 months
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i keep seeing peoples parents in the studios helping with setting up their studio space for the exhibition... wtf its so cute i want 2 cry................. i dont even need help setting mine up but im about to force my mom and dad to drive 2+ hours to come help me hang up 6 paintings just because
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