#i re-listened to all the songs from night series the other day and it got me thinking

[syrnyj]

concept: a theatre play in which every show is just one part of the overall story.

the first couple of plays happen normally, with all the same lines and scenes in every one. then something clues one of the characters in to the fact that they have already lived through these events before, but something keeps bringing them back to the beginning.

from this point onwards, the protagonist begins trying everything they can think of to break the time loop, altering the plot of every show in the process & the final performance is the one where they finally succeed.

[scarletwinterxx]

my 200 - mark lee imagine

helllooooo, it's been a while😅 well to sum up the time i was gone, i've been busy with work, i cried alot after taeyong's enlistment, i secured tickets to see dreamies, i cried some more. i think that's it hahah anywayssss Mark Solo!!! i love love love the song🥺 and that's my inspo for this scenario, hope you like it!

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pics and gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"So, are you still mad at him?" Haechan asks again. The same question he's been asking since the other night you went home upset. Ofcourse being your brother he knows you, he might be annoying as heck but he does care for you.

"I'm not mad at him"

"Then why aren't you talking?"

"Who says we aren't talking?" you asked back

"You haven't charged your phone since yesterday. I would know since I can track you. Number two, you're actually hanging out with me"

You hit him on the arm, glaring at him

"No but really, you good?" he asks

"I don't like it when you get serious. But to answer your question, no I'm not so fine right now" you finally admit

"So you two really fought? wow, never thought I'd see the day"

"Shut up, we didn't fight. I just said something and he freaked out then I freaked out now we're here" you vaguely explain, Haechan look at you with a confused look on his face.

"Care to share?" he prods

"I said I love you to him, I'm not even mad if he didn't say it back because that's not why I said it but the way he reacted got me thinking maybe I shouldn't have said it. There, now you know"

Haechan looks at you for a few seconds before shaking his head and walking ahead without saying anything else

"Yah! Where are you going?"

"Away from your stupid" he teases you, "I'm already upset enough, you can atleast pretend to be on my side"

He stops walking making you halt too. Haechan takes a deep breath before speaking as if he's preparing to make a speech

"I'm only gonna say this now because it's still weird my bestfriend is dating my sister, so you listen okay? This is Mark we're talking about. The same guy who let me boss him around just so I finally let you go out for coffee with him. The Mark that stayed with you at the hospital when you sprained your ankle and wouldn't let you lift even your finger for weeks until you got better. The Mark who would get coffee for you when don't even like the smell of coffee. I have to listen to him swoon over you every time we hang out, I hate it but I like him for you. Is that the guy you're doubting?"

As you listen to his words, all those scenarios play in your head. Each one making your heart fill with warmth only Mark could make you feel. Haechan and Mark have been friends longer than you and Mark have dated, he knows his bestfriend and you trust your brother.

"Then what do I do? I don't want to freak him out"

"If anything, I think he freaked himself out" Haechan chuckles, "Believe me, when it comes to you his brain cannot function right. He speaks many language but he forgets all of them when it's you he's thinking about"

You smile at that, feeling better.

"You're still coming to open mic night, right?" Haechan asks

"Ofcourse, Mark's still playing so I'll be there"

"Good, talk to him after. Not before, after. He won't get the words out if you talk to him before"

That night you arrived at the chill bar rented for the event. Mark told you a weeks ago he's playing, you were excited to hear him play live.

Just because you're in a bit of a situation doesn't mean you won't cheer for him. That's why Mark has been looking at the door ever since he arrived. Every time someone walks in, he gets his hopes up to finally see you since he had his freak out infront of you but it's been 40 minutes and you're still not here.

He should've picked you up. As your boyfriend, he thinks that's his job but Haechan told him the two of you will meet him there. Atleast you're coming.

"Hey Mark, you're next" Dejun calls him, gesturing to the small stage. Mark takes a look at the door one last time before walking onstage, strapping his guitar on before facing the audience.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the dark corner you concealed yourself from his view. You've been watching him watch the door, a pang in your chest when his hopeful eyes turn sad.

You watch him get on stage, getting his guitar and tapping the mic to make sure it's on.

"Hello... Hi... Okay it's working. Uh Hi everyone, I'm Mark. For tonight I'm going to sing an original song I wrote. Hope you like it" he smiles, earning cheers from the crowd.

You don't miss the squeals from the females in the crowd, whispering amongst themselves while looking at him in a way you don't really like.

Standing straight against the wall, you wait for him to start

"First you crashed into

my life and you just broke

My roof and my window

girl you had me shook"

You knew Mark's singing voice is good, countless times he serenaded you. Him and his guitar and you as his only audience.

"Who told me

love would come down

like a million rocks"

"You are my rockstar

Without you

I’ll always feel alone

When I’m lost

you guide me home yeah

You make my whole heart

When nothing adds up

I’ll be your number

You’re a 106 and I’m 94 yeah"

You can't even say or do anything but listen to him. Each word sinking in, in your head you're wishing to the universe that the words were meant for you.

In that moment, his eyes meet yours. Just like that, Mark's gaze changes. Like his purpose for being here finally arrived. Now he's not closing his eyes as he sing, he's looking right into your eyes straight into your soul as he says the words

"A million different stars but you’re the one

First you crashed into my life and you just broke

My roof and my window girl you had me shook

I’m living that Drama in my head again

Who told me love would come down like a million rocks

The rock you came with was an alibi

You and I we have the same disguise

Even that long brim of grey cap can’t hide

So till night rolls in again, together Can we rise up

You are my rockstar

Without you I’ll always feel alone

When I’m lost you guide me home yeah

You make my whole heart

When nothing adds up I’ll be your number

You’re a 106 and I’m 94 yeah"

The crowd cheers as he finishes the song but all he can see is you. He puts down the guitar then makes a beeline towards you. Everything else is background noise to him.

When he gets to you, he can't say anything. The words getting stuck.

"You sound great. The song too" you tell him

"Thanks" he mumbles, making you laugh. Instead of saying anything else, you just throw your arms around him, instantly he hugs you back. Burying his head in-between your neck and shoulder, a few days is too long without your hugs so he missed you terribly.

"I missed you" you hear him mumble

Tangling your fingers in his hair, you bask in his warmth. You missed him just as much. Any misunderstanding already forgotten.

"Let's get out of here" he says, breaking from the hug first before leading you out the door

"Where are we going?" you ask

"Anywhere, I just want to be alone with you" he smiles, giving you a quick kiss on the temple before the two of you started to walk with no destination for the night.

"So... tell me about the song"

Your intertwined hands swings in between the two of you, you watch him smile to himself like he just remembered something funny.

"It's called 200"

"200?"

He nods his head, "like you know 106 plus 94" he reference the lyrics to his song

"Yea that too, what does that mean by the way?" you ask, genuinely curious as to what inspired him to name the song 200 and the meaning behind the love filled lyrics

"94 days, that's when we had our first kiss. On the 94th day since we started dating. We went ice skating, then I walked you home. We kissed outside your door" he tells you, his eyes stay on the ground while yours stay on him

You can't even begin to describe what you're feeling right now. Kind of confused but also very very much moved with his words.

"and the 106?"

"You know... the first time we... yea that." he scratches the back of his neck, getting shy to explain the second reference but you already know what he meant.

This time you stop walking making Mark stop too. Finally he looks up at you, "So 200?" you ask

He bites his lips, his mind trying to process the words because he doesn't want to mess this up. He moves so now he's full facing you, pulling on your other hand so now he's holding both and you're now facing him too.

"There are a lot of meaning for 200 actually. But one of them could be 'Divine Timing', it means to trust the universe and Heaven are working on it, that you need to wait before everything falls into place. You know I used to think it would be so hard to fall in love, I used to wonder how would someone know that that person is the one for them. What if they're not? What then? I had so many questions, I had so many doubts" he admits, explaining the meaning behind 200

"Then like an answered prayer, you came into my life. I've never questioned anything since. Not until you told me you loved me, that night I was at lost. Not because I don't feel the same, it's because I do. I do love you. How is it that the girl of my dreams and my reality loves me too and she said it first before I could? Do I deserve her? Do I deserve you?"

By this time, tears welled up on the corners of your eyes. Mark looks at you in awe, wiping the few tears that managed to escape

"Sorry I acted that way, I had so many things to say but I didn't know how"

"Haechan did say you tend to forget how to speak when you're with me" you joke, making Mark laugh

"Well he's not wrong, you just render me speechless every time" he tells you

"So the song was about me?"

"Yes, and each and every song I sang. Some of my own, others I've picked because it reminded me of you. You are the music of my life, my only muse. I'll be your music for this lifetime" he takes your face in his hands, memorizing every detail of this moment so he could sing about it for the years to come.

"You love me?" you ask, pouting adorably at your boyfriend. He nods at you with a smile on his face before kissing you sweetly

"Very very very much. I love you, so so much" He whispers against your lips, sealing each word with a kiss like sealing a promise to you.

You smile with each peck, your grin growing until you were giggling. Music to Mark's ears. "I love you, too" you tell him

"I know you hate math, but when nothing adds up just think 200" he jokes making you laugh

"You and your way with words" you playfully roll your eyes at him

"You love me"

"That I do, Mark Lee. That I do.  

[pricechecktranslations]

the heavenly yard blog infomine, part 3: Re_Birthday, making Servant of Evil, more karaoke, surprise Luka

Yada yada, these are not translations, yada yada

Blog link for anyone who missed it the first time

14 December 2008 ~ 30 January 2009

---December 2008---

14th

-mothy is making a Len song for the Kagamine's anniversary but he doesn't think he'll have it done on time.

24th

-he has the song done, but he doesn't think he'll get the video done in time. he's been quite busy

27th

-appropriately, the Len song he uploaded for the Kagamine birthday is Re_Birthday.

-He didn't have time to recruit illustrators for this one so he just made the art and video himself.

29th

-mothy provides a bit more commentary on Re_Birthday, how it's sort of a compilation of the songs he's made until now. The "Re" in the title sort of references Regret Message, making it an answer song to it, in a way (in addition to just plain old "Rebirth").

-He wishes he'd been more prepared, there was a lot more he wanted to do with the song (like add in other VOCALOIDS, something he does do in later editions of the song might I add). It's taking him longer and longer to make songs now, before it used to only take him like 3-4 days.

-He replies to comments. Someone asks if he's going to collaborate with Shimoda from Piapro (Asami Shimoda, I think?), which he isn't sure will happen. Another person brings up how Rin is singing alongside Len at points in Re_Birthday.

-2008's been a good year for him

31st

-mothy does a roundup of all the songs he's uploaded this year, sharing his thoughts on listening to them now.

-10ML he thinks sounds pretty bad, but it's also his first song so he still likes it. Wordplay feels like a "trial and error" type work to him. Clockwork Lullaby is something he was really proud of making so it struck him that it didn't get popular--it was around this point he really wanted to make something that got big on NicoNico. He's made a remake of it that, to him, sounds totally different.

-Daughter of Evil is naturally his big hit, and it sounds very unique among the songs he's made. Servant of Evil he says feels like it's "walking on its own"--he admits he was trying to replicate the success of Daughter of Evil, to an extent, though he had fun making it and he's proud of it with all its ups and downs. He wants to surpass it someday. Regret Message on the other hand he feels he's improved a bit on his VOCALOID voice mixing (or at least he did it better accidentally). It seems to be an audience favorite.

-For Girl of the Miniature Garden he basically says that the Clockwork Lullaby series is to stretch his skills with song types he's not good at, and he doesn't think the instrumentals are as good. Still, he found Miku easy to use and he'd like to use her again. He did remasters of Daughter and Servant of Evil with RinLen act 2, which he didn't hugely care for, but he does think he learned something useful doing it.

-He was originally going to call Tale of Abandonment on a Moonlit Night "Inokori Doubutzuen(Zoo Detention)", and the lyrics were apparently much darker? Then he changed the subject matter to be about Hansel and Gretel (he writes Gretel as GLAY☆TERU, not sure what that means). Someday he'd like to do "Zoo Detention", but milder. As for South North Story, he learned a lot during the collaboration and surprised himself by making something so upbeat and positive.

-Re_Birthday borrows motifs from previous songs, of course. Originally it was going to have the melody for Servant and Daughter of Evil in its interlude. And he thinks he made the low tones in the mix too weak. And, in generally, he'd like to try making something new next year.

-Also replies to some comments, only relevant one is that he does allow iterative works of his songs.

---January 2009---

1st

-mothy wishes his readers a happy new year and expresses his intentions to talk about the making of Servant of Evil in commemoration of his karaoke success.

-he replies to comments, which--again, because I'm not seeing what he's replying to, I can't really summarize them properly. He does, however, discuss his name a bit.

-So, apparently the correct pronounciation of "mothy" is "mocchii" (mo-chee). However, I'm assuming that's because "thi" isn't a syllable in Japanese, so I'm going to continue pronouncing it the American way I do (moth-ee). Apparently a lot of people tend to pronounce it "masshii" or "maashii". He also says that it should probably actually be spelled "motty" (and that it used to be in the past), but for arbitrary reasons he's going by "mothy" instead. Not 100% sure of what to make of this but perhaps his "arbitrary reason" is that it stands for "master of the heavenly yard", which I believe is the reason given at present day.

2nd

-mothy finally begins discussing the making of Servant of Evil, which he essentially was motivated to do to capitalize on the positive reception for Daughter of Evil. There were a lot of people asking to see the perspective of the "blue", "green", and "red" characters, as well as those curious about the servant (or rather, lambasting him for being a "HetaLen", a pun which means "useless Len").

-He wound up focusing on Len for the song because he didn't have any other VOCALOIDS at the time.

-Looking back, he sort of wishes he'd used the word "princess" rather than "daughter" for Rin's song so it would match the title of "Servant" better.

4th Page 1

-mothy uploads a remaster of Clockwork Lullaby onto Piapro, and responds to comments.

-Apparently mothy didn't share Servant's vsq because he had to mess with it so many times that if he did, it would not sound like the finished song at all.

-He addresses how people thought poorly of Len in his songs before Servant of Evil came out because, naturally, it looked like he just abandoned the princess to her fate.

Page 2

-more on Servant of Evil. He made it into a four-part composition (I think? I'm not familiar with this word but basically it's four distinct narrative pieces to the song) to contrast it with Daughter of Evil, saying it's a convenient model for story songs. He also wanted it to be understandable even if you haven't listened to Daughter of Evil. He also wanted to put the chorus in the opening of the song because that's what hit songs do? (again, sliiiightly confused with the musical terminology he's using). Girl of the Minature Garden is the only other song where he's done this.

-He also wanted to put in lines from Len everywhere.

-He went back and forth a little on the tone of the song. Originally, he conceived of the twin switch as having been Rin's idea, but eventually he went with it being Len's, to make it more of a tragic story than a dark one to better fit the melody he'd made.

7th Page 1

-reply to comments. People are finding his posts on his songmaking interesting.

Page 2

-more on Servant of Evil. He began work on the song as soon as he had an idea of what he wanted to do (he also prefaces this by saying that he's by no means on expert on making lyrics and that he may have made mistakes in explaining it).

-So, basic lyric construction--opened with the chorus, introduced Len's relationship to the Princess. There's two meanings in Len saying he'll "even become evil", which we'll get to later. Len gets more explanation in this first section of the song, with his character background in the next stanza (with the "A" melody) and his mindset in the one after (the "B" melody, which was apparently half the length that it is now at first but this made it too hard to work lyrics in). Then back to the chorus.

-He was trying to make sure that everything was explained while using the bare minimum amount of detail.

9th Page 1

-Luka's release has been anounced. He's interested, but he also owns several VOCALOIDs at this point that he hasn't used yet, so he might hold off.

-Mothy replies to comments. Largely inconsequential, but he does laugh with someone over the fact that he wound up buying all the Japanese VOCALOIDs after only having the Kagamines for a while.

Page 2

-Back to Servant of Evil, getting on the second part of the song. He figures that since he said Len would "even become evil", he needed him to do something evil. It's at this point that he started trying to work in the parts he cut from Daughter of Evil, though he couldn't work in the bit with the glass bottle (where Allen kills Leonhart) due to syllable space. (note, this section follows the "A melody equals plot, B melody equals character mindset" pattern from the previous section).

-The "today's snack is brioche" line is to contrast Riliane's "Oh, it's teatime" line, and also reference what he'd learned about Marie Antoinette. And, it shows the main character, who is a servant, doing servant things.

-As a tangent, he brings up how little we know about the Miku character just going off those two songs--we don't know who she loved, whether she actually died or not, or if she was even human to begin with (basically teasing the Michaela reveals in Daughter of White, I think).

-He does state that like the princess and swordswoman, she is modeled after a character in a story, she is not a princess or high status, and she's not the miniature garden girl.

13th Page 1

-More news on when Servant be released on Karaoke, and sharing his remastered Servant of Evil and Wordplay.

-Replies to comments. Again I don't have context but I think he clarifies that some of his concepts on the Miku character that he just shared came about after the fact, but he was picturing a character from a different work when making her during the song's production.

Page 2

-Onto the third section for Servant of Evil, which he says was the most important and so took a lot of trial and error (the twin switch, of course). Eventually what he ended up doing was having the "A melody" section contain both the plot events AND Len's character psychology, and have the "B melody" section consist solely of dialogue. That way he could leave the characters' feelings during the switch up to the imagination of the listener.

-As a small note, Len is using honorifics when he tells the princess to run away wearing his clothes. mothy claims this was inspired by a nursery rhyme (in English it's often called, "The Other Day I Met A Bear"), where in the Japanese version at least the bear tells the girl to run with the same honorifics (despite that being uncharacteristic of a bear), which he liked, so he put it in here. I am not 100% sure I believe him.

16th Page 1

-mothy shares a remastered Regret Message

-he replies to comments. He's not sure what decides the release schedule for JOYSOUND's karaoke, he thinks it's due to song vote ranking. Apparently there are also people saying the "of evil" songs are their first VOCALOID songs, so that makes him happy.

-Again I don't have the original comment but I guess someone asked what the gender is (without specifying whose), so he confusedly replies that the princess is female, the servant is male, and he, mothy, is male.

-mothy makes clear that though he is incorporating a lot of fairytale knowledge into his work, it's not a result of research but rather his own childhood memories, as he read a lot of books when he was young.

Page 2

-Onto the fourth part of Servant of Evil. Here he repeats the lines from the ending of Daughter of Evil, but with an entirely new context behind them and some minor tweaks to match the new subject of the song.

-The first iteration of the chorus shows Len's determination, and this final one shows that he has accomplished his goal. The lines about how the princess ignores the crowd is the people talking in Daughter of Evil, and in Servant of Evil it's Rin talking. And, in general, when Len says "I will even become evil", that includes becoming the "Daughter of Evil" himself, in a sense.

-Basically just lots of repetitions but with the meaning changed.

-Mothy added on the bit with the music box after the song was done, as a final tearjerker.

20th Page 1

-Responding to comments. A lot of it is fans expressing their admiration which is sweet, but not really worth summarizing. Here's some tidbits though.

-Mothy used to use 私 a lot as his personal pronoun, but since he keeps getting mistaken for a woman he's started using 僕.

-The last line in Servant of Evil was meant to kind of bring out the servant's inner childishness.

-Mothy's first encounter with VOCALOID was before Miku was even released, and he was inspired to buy one after hearing a certain song on NicoNico (he may, or may not, explain this later).

-Though he tells a commenter to leave it up to their imagination, he does hint as to having plot reasons why Len's character was made a servant rather than a prince.

Page 2

-He goes in very briefly on the process of making Len sing the lyrics of Servant of Evil after he'd had them written. Apparently it was really hard. The Kagamines are apparently harder to work with than Miku, and Len moreso than Rin. There was a lot of trial and error involved--eventually he just settled on something and went to the tuning stage.

25th Page 1

-Mothy's other songs are now up for voting on JOYSOUND. He encourages people to give South North Story priority in the voting. He's also remastered Tale of Abandonment on a Moonlit Night, though it's not very different.

-Comment replies. Mothy is not very fast at making songs.

-He shares the website he got the stock sound effects for Servant of Evil, and tells someone that he's considering releasing CDs of his work.

Page 2

-(again discussing the production of Servant of Evil) MEANWHILE on Piapro, mothy got carried away chatting about the setting and backstory behind Daughter of Evil in the comments for it, apparently, because it was still getting attention. He finds that funny because then someone correctly guessed the twin switch, so he wound up having to be very noticeably vague and mysterious about it (in a complete 180 from his other comments) to avoid spoiling anything.

29th

-Luka is taking the community by storm, but mothy is making a song with MEIKO instead.

-he's been getting some questions about a collaboration with Asami(I think) Shimoda, but he refuses to comment.

-Other comment replies that I won't summarize because I don't have full context (nothing terribly important, mostly just being humble or asking for patience with his slow speed). Apparently one of the commenters spoke to him in English, though, which is interesting.

30th

-mothy finally finished Servant of Evil (he recounts having dubious impressions of it at the time, such as not being able to understand what's being said, worrying that it's too different from the tune of Daughter of Evil, and being a little moved by it himself.

-He uploaded it onto Piapro and recruited illustrators to make the PV.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of packing

11pm, saturday, july 15, 2023

the things i could be doing right now could fill multiple volumes, but i listened to a podcast today about academic (im)perfectionism and am deciding i don't need to feel guilty. this summer's Big European Travel starts tomorrow and I! am! nervois! but i've done some smaller trips recently which helped me work up to this in a way. further media and life musings below the cut.

reading i had a few weeks there where my recreational reading was... a little bleak, in that i was reading things that felt dated and/or formulaic and/or just put me straight to sleep, thereby meaning that i took much longer than i normally like to finish anything-- this was enlivened with two excellent new instalments from two different series i love, anne leckie's translation state and samantha shannon's a day of fallen night.

very very fun now thinking of these back to back. two books were so engrossing, built (and built on) such rich worlds, such good command of the vibes/atmosphere/tone they were going for, but so different! to sound like a book reviewer for a moment, leckie's prose is sort of lean where shannon's is lush, something like that. there's a joke in here based on the meme that goes 'sci-fi is where x, fantasy is where y' but i'm too tired to work it out myself. both of these books say-- so there are incomprehensible beings in your world which may wish to eat and/or destroy you, and some people have found ways to work or live with them, but it is very weird and alien to your way of life. day of fallen night feels more like a climate metaphor, and there is plenty that felt pulled straight from the psyche of the years 2020-2023. both do fun/interesting things with gender and relationships, and both made me want to go re-read their respective predecessors to heighten the feeling of connection and resonance with those other works.

watching mostly dimension 20-- i introduced @yogurtforever to fantasy high last week, and I myself have been working my way through the toy island arc of neverafter-- but here is the place to mention watching netflix's new documentary about WHAM!, of all things, with @yogurtforever and @thehibernatinglentil last weekend.

not being a documentary hound, i never would have watched this without friends, but it was genuinely quite fun! i didn't know a ton about wham! or george michael, which i now realize is a shame because there's a lot to know. making up for it by having the lyrics to their first hit single, the inimitable 'wham rap', stuck in my head for the next 200 years.

listening due in no small part to the wham! doc (and an mama mia 2 rewatch the week before that), i put on a lot of throwback music this week. it ended up being more 70s than 80s, and that got me thinking about how strongly my parents' music taste influenced mine. there are so many good artists from ~back then~ who i have found out about later, because we just didn't listen to them at home? and of the vinyl i remember finding in the basement, you know, it wasn't bowie, it wasn't fleetwood mac, it wasn't springsteen (it was james taylor and paul simon and probably joni mitchell). luckily, summer camp taught me all the lyrics to a bunch of other oldies, and we did listen to the radio oldies station quite a lot, so my education wasn't entirely deficient. i bring this week the don maclean song 'vincent', which i will be thinking a lot about for one reason and another this week.

playing i have, at long, long last, completed my stardew community center. it was a little anticlimactic, after all the travail that went into it, but i'm so pleased. it only took like two actual human real life years! the last thing i needed was a rabbit's foot, and now at last i feel like i can move to the next tier of game play. i remain unmarried, fighting for my life in skull cavern, but now with two small bunnies to love.

making trying to figure out how to eat most of the food i have in the fridge, how to use up things and make the most of what i have and not leave anything to spoil for the next little while, so i haven't really been cooking big projects. i've been 'making' appointments, got my eyes checked, had coffee with two different profs and chatted with a former student about her med school applications, and that's about it!

working on conference paper, which is both a slideshow (graphic design is my passion, this part is mostly fine) and a draft of what might turn into usable words for the chapter i'm working on. naturally i have built it up into the Biggest Scariest Most Important task, and so am avoiding it and finding it miserable to work on. and i still have time! i had wanted to not work on it on the plane, during my travel week, etc., but there is actually time. there's time. and i keep having small breakthroughs, after 2-5 hours of dicking around, which allow me to believe that there is an end in sight. other things to be worked on, for when i have some 'free' 'time'-- newsletter draft that's so very overdue, multiple students asking for detailed essay feedback and grade breakdowns, emails from students asking for other things, recommendation letter, the next chapter that i'm meant to be finishing this summer. luckily, it's a long plane ride.

[the-teddy-bear-butch]

Hiiii Lo!

It is so okay dude! October kicked your butt now November is kicking mine c'est la vie! The inbox is a cursed place I just spent forever going through all the ones the piled up lol.

y'know what? You had the right answer on the pickles, they are really not my favourite things 😂

oh no! that sucks :( I gotta re-read so many series. I got a whole box of old books from my aunt the other year and they are everything to me.

we also love intelligent badass women in this household! I still haven't seen legally blonde but I did see scream for Halloween and it was really good!

I'm not too bad with horror though I will pick a comedy over horror any day. I've never seen ginger snaps but I looked it up (it's Canadian!) and now I gotta watch it. I'm not sure if I really have a favourite horror movie I think it's tied between scream and IT but probably scream since IT isn't really scary...

Okay so Sports Car is wonderful, I go feral every time you can hear a clip of someone talking in a song even if it's just for a second. I'm getting a couple colour/vibes from the song it's kinda tricky to describe but when it gets REALLY cold and the sky goes a very pale blue that colour and also rose pink magenta which I didn't think was an actual colour but when I looked it up it had some good pictures that matched what was thinking of! It also reminds me of dry cracked asphalt road in the summer and walking by the river on the beach in late afternoon with the sun not quite setting yet.

Infinitely Ordinary is definitely a blue you get right before the sky is pitch black when you can only half see things and it starts getting colder with nightfall and also doing stupid stuff with your friend when you were kids late at night.

I listened to the entire sick seasons and Northern Attitude is probably still my favourite lol. The View Between Villages is sage green and cream white, it's waking up in the morning to find everything covered in snow and while it's beautiful it also feels wrong with how quiet and undisturbed everything is and doesn't feel right until birds and people and other animals go and live in it.

I don't mind the long winters tbh but when it snows in the first week of November well... it sucks but I do love snow!

RIGHT??? why is it so hard to flirt or even just make friend when not behind a screen I swear.

Nice pronouns you got there! very cool of you!

If i'm the cool as fuck Canadian friend then you're the cool as fuck American friend!

Nooo! [jumps in front of bullet] tell me basic facts! I can remember the weird ones but the normal ones completely escape my mind.

I love baking even though i'm not very good at it, I have 1 very good bread recipe down pat but everything else is kinda hit or miss lol.

I do have one thing to say about the album before I hear anything you have to say about it but Pomeranian Spinster is hot pink and revenge (would totally work in Do Revenge I think)

if you do end up listening to it I wanna know your favourite song out of them!

Я надеюсь, что ноябрь будет для вас хорошим.

- Эль

(which technically translates to something about November being a good ale to you but for my intended purposes acts as a 'I hope this letter finds you in good health' lol)

Hellooooo to my favorite stranger!! <33

Oh dear! I hope in the time it took me to get back to this, November decided to give you a break and you’re able to get some rest!! I’m finally going through the inbox again, at least this time I only waited 13 days instead of a whole ass month 😅

Oh bless, I thought you were going to shame me for being a pickle hater. Solidarity! 🤝 They’re nasty and slimy

That sounds fun!! Keep me updated on what you’re reading, I’m always keeping an eye out for recommendations 👀 I think next on my list is Priory of the Orange Tree which has only sat unread in my backpack for like,, the whole semester 🤪 I’m sure I’ll be annoying about it on here when I get to it

I definitely recommend it! Truly an iconic movie 😌 I STILL need to watch Scream, but I may have potential plans for that in the future at some point, we shall see!

Oooooh please let me know what you think! Absolutely a wild ride of a movie, but Ginger Fitzgerald my beloved. Unhinged women ftw. I haven’t seen IT and I’m unsure if I’m adding it to the list or not. I am a big scaredy cat ajskdkkdkd

I’m eating this imagery all right up omfg. Sports Car has been one of my favorites since a particular mutual recommended it for a Ronance fic, so that one will be coming up eventually 😌 And SO TRUE, the whole talking portion in songs is something that will get me every time

I was going to say we don’t get snow that early, but last year we had a weird fluke where we had a really bad ice storm at the end of October and then basically nothing else. Stranger year. Now it’s still occasionally hitting 70°F in November. Gotta love Oklahoma weather’s unpredictability 😐

Thank you so much! I’m loving the pronouns very much.

Oh god I have so many, I’d be truly obnoxious. The ones that immediately come to mind are: a large portion of the riders of Rohan are women in beards because they couldn’t find enough male riders. Also, Viggo Mortensen, Aragorn, broke his toe kicking the helmet in the scene where he’s tracking Merry and Pippin to the orc camp. They kept that scene because the scream was hella convincing. He also bought two of the horses he rode in filming because he loved them. He also bought Arwen’s stunt double’s horse for her. (I adore Viggo Mortensen). Christopher Lee, Sauruman, wanted to be Gandalf. I could be so obnoxious, but most of these are “common knowledge” against die hard fans and quoting them during movies will quickly get you uninvited to movie night LMFAO. Have I mentioned I love LOTR?

Baking is fun! I’ve never tried bread, but I make kickass brownies. I prefer cooking tho, easier to experiment and play with spices (which my family did NOT do when I was a kid).

Listening immediately! (Listening to the whole album as I’m writing this actually). I gotta say, this album kind of has similar vibes to like,,, The Cranberries and The Bangles I think?? I LOVE it, in short. I’m about halfway through and Easy On Your Own? is my favorite so far. Pomeranian Spinster and Do Revenge, oh my god your MIND. After the Earthquake is also a BOP. I wanna learn these guitar riffs if I ever get a guitar

Will update if favorite song changes, ofc 🫡 But I didn’t want to leave you hanging any longer <33

Hope you are having a lovely day!!

Sorry for leaving this unanswered for so long again 💔 Should be able to respond quicker as school is coming to an end and I’m down a class 😌

- that one massive fucking nerd, Lo/Max

[krakensdottir]

Older GO asks (and answers!) from Neil Gaiman’s inbox

SO, I have been wading in Good Omens meta for months now, and I often see things come up that Neil has actually addressed in asks. Trouble is, his ask box is deep and intimidating, and since season 2 was announced all the pre-season 2 asks have basically been buried. But I went hunting long ago for basically anything GO-related and I took screenshots of a bunch. So I thought I’d present them here, roughly organized, in text form, for the benefit of anyone else who’s curious.

Of course, none of this is meant to invalidate headcanons or whatever; Neil himself is firmly against doing so. But I’ve personally had no issue accepting author’s word with this series, since Neil has not, as yet, done anything that made me want to shout at him or eat a couch in frustration, which is a refreshing change from the writers in most of the fandoms I’ve ever been part of. So, for what it’s worth, here are the answers. At least some of them; I know I’ve missed a lot.

(And yes, they pretty much all relate to the angels and demons, Crowly and Aziraphale specifically. There were very few asks that DIDN’T concern them, and none that I have saved. Of course, the ask box is still open...)

Re: Aziraphale

Aziraphale openly lied to God about the flaming sword. Does that mean God is not omniscient (which also means there is not ineffable plan) or that angels only believe in God just like humans (I mean that tiny difference between faith and knowledge)?

NG: It means that Aziraphale was definitely up for lying to God and hoping.

Why did Aziraphale use his wing to cover Crowley during the first rain?

NG: Because otherwise Crowley would have got wet.

What is Aziraphale’s opinion on e-books? On the one hand it saves space and trees, but on the other, no inscriptions or signed first editions.

NG: I don’t think he knows they exist. If Crowley gave him an e-reader, it’s still in its box.

What are Aziraphale and Crowley’s favorite songs? (In answer, Neil links to videos of “I’ll Be Your Mirror” by The Velvet Underground, and “Spread A Little Happiness” from the musical Mr. Cinders. He goes on to say the following:)

NG: He was at the first night of Mr Cinders in 1929, and he has loved the song ever since then. The theatrical programme for Mr Cinders was a long way down the pile of programmes that burned down in episode 3, but it was there.

I like to think that Aziraphale was friendly with composer Vivian Ellis although probably not with Clifford Grey, who wrote the lyrics.

What are a couple bands or songs Aziraphale would like from the last 50 years or so? Or what would he listen to in private, like how Crowley would like Pale Blue Eyes from Velvet Underground?

NG: The trouble with Aziraphale is he’s always going to be behind on what he hears and on technology. He doesn’t have anything in the Bookshop that plays music, apart from an ancient manual gramophone. He has LOTS of classical music, but very little that’s 20th century, let alone “last 50 years or so”. He’ll probably discover the Beatles somewhere towards the end of the next century.

There might be exceptions to this blog, but they’d be stories in their own right.

(…) And obviously, he goes to the theatre. He likes Stephen Sondheim, for the most part. And I’m pretty sure he liked Hamilton.

Why are Aziraphale’s clothes worn and old fashioned in the present, when in the past, he’s dressed in clothes appropriate to the time? He’s even quite stylish in many of the flashbacks, and his clothes are in perfect shape. But in present day, he’s back in his Victorian coat and a waistcoat so old it’s bald. Was there a reason for that?

NG: He likes them. When he changes clothes he buys new ones, but he’s been quietly updating his Victorian clothes for a long time now.

Why is Aziraphale’s waistcoat so worn out when he can keep the overcoat in tip-top condition for over 180 years?

NG: He wears the overcoat less frequently. He’s worn the waistcoat for a hundred and fifty years, wherever he is and whatever he’s doing. In the shop and out of it. He doesn’t wear the coat in the shop, though. (And the coat definitely isn’t in the same condition now that it was in 1862…)

Why does Aziraphale own a bookshop if he dislikes selling the books? Why didn’t he decide to make it a library?

NG: A library? Can you imagine how much personal interaction he’d have to have with people if he was a librarian? And the books would just go home with people, and there’s no knowing what they’d do to the poor things. Spilled tea and turned down corners and that’s just the start of it. No, if you’re giving a good home to books, Aziraphale is certain that a used bookshop is a much better way not to sell anything or deal with human beings.

In later years would Aziraphale ever consider re-branding the Bookshop as a type of research library? I mean, no one could take the books out of the building, everyone would have to wear those white gloves to handle them, could still have odd hours and no one would question the librarian observing people as they look at the priceless books.

NG: He would still have to deal with people, though. And people would have to be able to find the books. I don’t think he’d like that.

Aziraphale uses the name ‘Mr Fell’ in his bookshop, and definitely in Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde the name Mr Fell is an allegory for someone you really dislike… was this intentional at all?

NG: That’s because of the nursery rhyme, “Doctor Fell”:

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,

The reason why - I cannot tell;

But this I know, and know full well,

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.

Said to have been created by poet Tom Brown to save himself from expulsion.

And it was probably part of what was in my mind when I named him. (Mostly I just loved the idea of an Angel who named himself Fell, when he had not actually Fallen.)

(On why Aziraphale had to look up verses, instead of having the Bible memorized:)

NG: I don’t think any of the angels we meet in Heaven have read the Bible, except to look through it for the bits they were mentioned in and (in Sandalphon’s case in particular) to grumble that they aren’t in there by name.

Aziraphale tends to regard the Bible fondly, but not authoritatively. Remember, he was there.

In the book we learn that Aziraphale owns:

“...the original scroll in the shaky hand-writing of St John the Divine of Patmos, whose ‘Revelation’ had been the all-time best seller. Aziraphale had found him a nice chap, if a bit too fond of odd mushrooms.”

And it’s a verse from the Revelation that Aziraphale is checking. So that’s a no on knowing the Bible by heart.

Aziraphale has memorized the Winnie the Pooh books, several Georgette Heyer novels, and Bobo’s Modern Coin Magic, though.

When the Quartermaster Angel in Heaven tells Aziraphale: “The whole platoon is waiting for you”, does he imply that Aziraphale is meant to lead this platoon, or is he just a private in Heaven’s army?

NG: He is meant to be leading the platoon.

Aziraphale is told that his whole platoon is waiting for him - does this mean he’s done Military Things in the past, or is it just for the Apocalypse?

NG: He fought in the war against the Revolting Angels - the “Glorious Revolution” that Dagon refers to.

Why was Aziraphale limping when he arrived in heaven after being discorporated?

NG: The last thing he felt was his body exploding and being destroyed. You’d limp too if it happened to you.

Re: Crowley

Just a random thought, do you think Crowley is someone who would start a pandemic? Probably on accident but still.

NG: No, but I think Crowley is someone who would muse on the human need to try and find someone or something to blame for an Act of God. Then he’d probably wonder whether it actually was an Act of God, or just the Bloodymindedness of Nature, and decide it was actually the Bloodymindedness of Nature.

Is Crowley by now in a coma? Can demons be in a coma? How long does one need to sleep for it to count as a coma?

NG: For Crowley, anything over 300 years might count as an unusually long sleep. A coma is defined as a sleep from which a person cannot be wakened, and Crowley can always be woken up.

Crowley slept through most of the 19th century, got up only in 1832. In the show he meets Aziraphale in 1862. So did he get up again just to meet him and went back to sleep? Or did he just nap until that point? Or is there no connection between these two scenes as one is book canon and one is show canon and I’ve been going insane over trying to smash timelines together?

NG: I’m afraid so.

I’ve heard about a deleted scene where Crowley was trying (and failing) to get to sleep, and now I’m insanely curious what Crowley’s bed would look like! Does he have black bedsheets? What kind of frame does he have? Does he keep any plants in his bedroom?

NG: We shot it too, but then needed to lose it to make some things work. My favourite scene was him asleep on the side of the door, and him asleep on the ceiling. The bedsheets were indeed (in memory) very black.

What did Crowley do to hide his eyes before the invention of sunglasses?

NG: Well, he invented Dark Glasses early. Before that mostly he glared at people who commented on his eyes and mostly they decided not to.

Since you said Crowley’s eyes go fully yellow when he’s under stress, why was he stressed when he was talking to zira in the garden? Or was it because he was just shifting out of his snake form?

NG: He was just shifting out of snake form.

In the scene with crowley taking out the cell phone tower, why do the rats listen to him? I mean he is technically a snake, shouldn’t they be scared of him?

NG: He is technically a demon. Who is sometimes a bit snakey. And if I was a rat, I’d be much more inclined to take orders from someone who might eat me if I didn’t than someone who is just nice and sweet and puts food down in the alley outside his bookshop every night.

I recently learned that Christians believe holy water can’t be diluted - if you pour out holy water into a bigger cup of water, all of it is now holy. I feel like the chances are pretty high that at least a drop of holy water has ended up in the ocean. And then it would end up in the rain? How is Crowley alive?

NG: Crowley is not a believer in Holy Water homeopathy.

In the book of Good Omens, it’s mentioned that Crowley has a The Velvet Underground CD. Does that have anything to do with their more Christian music (e.g. Jesus, Beginning to See the Light).

NG: No. It has to do with their more Unchristian music, like Black Angel’s Death Song, Murder Mystery, Pale Blue Eyes and Oh! Sweet Nothing.

Why was Crowley watching a movie about pastel bunny rabbits of all things?

NG: Because that was what was playing, and he wanted to sit down and collect his thoughts in a dark place. In my head, he’s somewhere like the old Victoria Station cartoon theatre, long since demolished (1981 I think) in our world, but perhaps Aziraphale kept around a bit longer in the Good Omens universe, because Crowley once mentioned that he’d liked it.

Since Crowley doesn’t “do books” per se, how’d he end up with The Extremely Big Book of Astronomy?

NG: I think Crowley does books. He just doesn’t admit to it in public.

In 41 A.D. why was Crowley in such a terrible mood?? And why does he look like a yuppie tourist?

NG: He had come from trying to tempt Caligula, and was grossed out and convinced that humans were appalling and he was wasting his time. And I think he was dressed that way to impress Caligula, or had just attended one of Caligula’s parties.

Quick question from a medievalist about Crowley’s hatred of the 14th century - do you imagine it’s something specific to/ one incident from the 1300s that makes him loathe it so? Or is it just the combination of general religious fervor and lack of technology and cool rock bands that make him resent it?

NG: Both Terry and I had read and loved Barbara Tuchman’s A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous Fourteenth Century. And it seemed to us that Crowley would have loved being out of the Fourteenth Century…

I’ve seen a lot of speculating on Crowley’s role as an angel before he was fallen. Is there anything you can tell us about, or are you leaving it up to fan speculation?

NG: I’m happy to leave it as fanfiction. As with anything Good Omens, it’s always possible that I’ll tell that story one day, and it’s always likely that I won’t.

I would like to know, because this topic was controversial, was Crowley good before the fall? I mean, did he stay good despite the fall, or did he become good over time?

NG: I think Crowley was never quite as good as he likes to maintain, and nowhere nearly as bad as Heaven would like to imagine.

Why do the Nazis recognize “the famous Mr. Crowley” on sight?

NG: That’s what they call “another story” isn’t it?

Re: Heaven and Angels

Why is Gabriel treated as Aziraphale’s boss when Aziraphale ranks higher in the third sphere? Principalities rank higher than Archangels in Angel Hierarchy, and while Archangels are there to ensure fulfilment of roles (such as Armageddon) Gabriel would still rank lower than Aziraphale.

NG: Terry and I were of the opinion that, in the world of Good Omens, archangels and Archangels were different things.

As Wikipedia explains, there are those who “make a distinction between archangel (with a lower-case a) and Archangel (with an uppercase A). The former can denote the second-lowest choir (arch-angels in the sense of being just above the lowest Choir of angels that is called only “angels”) but the latter may denote the highest of all the angels (i.e., Arch-angels in the sense of being above all angels, of any Choir. The seven highest Seraphim, Michael, being the highest of all).”

Is Sandalphon also a capital-A Archangel like Gabriel/Uriel/Michael? If not, do you have a strong opinion on what rank he is?

NG: He’s quite important. The Wikipedia article describes him as an archangel and as many other things. Then again, one of those things is Tall.

Longfellow wrote a Sandalphon poem, my favourite verse of which goes:

When I look from my window at night,

And the welkin above is all white,

All throbbing and panting with stars,

Among them majestic is standing

Sandalphon the angel, expanding

His pinions in nebulous bars.

Mostly because I love the idea of Paul Chahidi’s Sandalphon opening his wings in Nebulous Bars.

Is there any particular reason why angels use kilts as their uniform when they go to war?

NG: Angels wear suits in the office, and kilts when they go to war. It seemed an easy way to point out that they weren’t actually gendered, and I also thought it would look good.

The Sound of Music is about a woman who chooses love over her devotion to a religious order, and a man who rebels against an authoritarian regime so he and his family can have the freedom to choose their own destinies instead. There’s no way a story like that would be popular in Heaven.

NG: They missed all that. They just like the nuns, the mountains, and lots of cheerful singing.

Re: Hell and Demons

Are the demons in Good Omens immune to fire? In the book, Crowley was perfectly fine when the burning bookshop collapsed onto him. In the show, he is perfectly capable of standing in the Hellfire. However, Hastur is discorporated by the wall of flames and says “That’s not hellfire, that’s the real deal”. Does this mean they are only immune to Hellfire, not “real” fire? Or did he mean “real deal” in the sense of “actual danger”?

NG: The M25 Wall of Flames aren’t Hellfire and they aren’t what we’d think of as flames, either. There was a lot more about the flames originally (a lovely scene with scientists baffled by it) but we cut the scenes for pacing. There’s more in the book, though.

The first time we meet Beelzebub, they’re introduced as “The Lord Of Flies”, but later on, when Crowley contacts Hell after the birthday party, Dagon also introduces themselves as “The Lord Of Flies”. Do they hold the same title?

NG: Dagon is “Lord of the Files”. Beelzebub is “Lord of the Flies”.

They have more files than flies in Hell.

Why did Beelzebub have boils on their face when they’re in hell, but not when they appeared on earth?

NG: Because Demons, like Angels, look like what they want to look like. And Beelzebub doesn’t want to risk upsetting Adam. So Beelzebub looks more appropriate for Earth. No flies or boils.

Why does archangel Michael bring holy water for Crowley’s bath? But at the same time, an unknown simple (not high-level) demon brings hell fire to heaven for Aziraphale’s execution?

NG: Because Hell takes pleasure in not acknowledging Heaven’s importance.

Hastur and Crowley’s conversation about the 14th century implies Hastur wasn’t around back then. How do demons get created after the fall?

NG: Hastur wasn’t on Earth then. He was down in Hell’s basement, probably filing things.

General worldbuilding, other

The bit of good omens that talks about the date of creation refers to “the heaven and the earth”; if heaven didn’t exist prior to that, does that imply it’s not just the creation of the world, but also the day that all angels and demons were brought into existence? Thus making all angels and demons also libras?

NG: What a fun question. No, in the world of Good Omens the heaven that was created on the Second Day, when God created the heavens and the Earth were the heavens as a synonym for the sky and everything material above, and that meanwhile, off in Heaven, the angels and demons had already been beavering away for millions of years working on the Creation, had had a War in Heaven and a Fall of the Angels, and suchlike a long time before God said “Let there be light…”

Do angels and demons in Good Omens have free will? Aziraphale says no, but we know he often says things just for the sake of acting like a good angel. Crowley says demons aren’t supposed to have free will, but he learned it anyway. There are some angels who are more than willing to smite humans and some demons who aren’t deep down evil. So do they have free will or not?

NG: Do people have free will? Angels and demons have whatever people have, even if they like to give the impression they are above that sort of thing.

Crowley can’t walk on consecrated ground without experiencing an apparently fair amount of pain, but he strolls into heaven (literally the holiest place in the entire universe) without even flinching to save Aziraphale. Do you have any thoughts on this?

NG: Why do you think Heaven is holy? It’s an office. The same office building the demons are working in the basement of. It’s neutral ground, which is why the demon with the Hellfire can also turn up…

Do Crowley and Aziraphale need to exercise? Or can they simply miracle themselves fit?

NG: I don’t think Crowley ever thinks about exercise, except as something he’s vaguely proud of having helped turn into self-punishment for human beings. And he is as fit as any demonic former snake could possibly be.

Aziraphale is probably a bit worried about getting out of shape and putting on a few extra pounds, and would consider miracling the weight off and the muscles in as cheating. I cannot imagine him in exercise clothes though, even though I just tried very hard.

I assume that DNA taken from Aziraphale or Crowley’s (or really any Angel or Demon’s) human corporations would turn up as Human if tested. But their wings aren’t really part of their human corporations so if the DNA of one of their feathers were tested what would the results be?

NG: I’m pretty sure that DNA taken from any part of Crowley or Aziraphale would turn out to have been accidentally lost by the lab.

Did Crowley and Aziraphale speak Hebrew with each other before the fall of the Babylon tower? Do they generally speak Hebrew (or at least know Hebrew) since the biblical times?

NG: Good question. I like to think that when they were talking to each other originally, on the walls of the Garden, they were talking in the language of Angels. Whether that was Adamic, or whether it was a Divine Language, is up to you.

I would suspect that they are talking in Sumerian during the Mesopotamian sequence. They would have been talking in Hebrew (or more probably in Aramaic) in the Golgotha sequence, though.

How does Crowley know what a lead balloon is in the beginning?

NG: 1) He is a demon. Once upon a time he was an angel and responsible and got to see the Plans For Earth. So he learned about Lead and Balloons.

OR

2) he and Aziraphale are speaking together in the original language of angels and demons, and we are translating it for you, and whatever Crowley said translates as Lead Balloons.

Your choice.

In the scene where Aziraphale and Crowley are body-swapped and they order ice cream, are they ordering what the other normally would to keep up the disguise, or does Crowley really prefer the vanilla cone and Aziraphale the red popsicle?

NG: I think it’s more fun for people to wonder and imagine than it ever would be for me to answer.

(Regarding Aziraphale and Crowley’s neurodivergent traits:)

NG: For me, this is a bit like the conversation I’ve been having with people for three decades about their sexuality, where people ask me “are they [something]” and I say “No. You are asking about human beings, they are an angel and a demon.”

So…

If you are asking me if either of them is a neurotypical human being, the answer is, no, they definitely aren’t.

If you are asking if they behave like neurodivergent human beings sometimes, or even most of or all of the time, the answer is, yes, pretty obviously.

If you are asking if they are actually neurodivergent human beings, the answer is no, they are an angel and a demon.

I’m not sure what it looks like inside Aziraphale’s mind. I know it’s vaster and older and more complex and brilliant than anything I could hope to understand. And the same goes for Crowley (he’s smart - he used to design nebulae - but he’s not Aziraphale-level brilliant. He’s also not Aziraphale-level “I can’t believe you just did that stupid thing!” dumb.).

I can write how they interact with the world, though.

Production details

How was Aziraphale locked up in the Bastille in 1793 when it was destroyed in 1789?

NG: Because sometimes I don’t double-check everything I should. (Originally the scene occurred outside, in the Place de la Revolution, and I did all my research. And then when budget cuts forced it inside and I did a hurried rewrite, I forgot to check my dates on the fall of the Bastille.)

Why did you change the scene where Aziraphale breathes life back into the dead dove when in the book it’s Crowley who does that? I liked it so much, it made the fact that he is a force for good so clear.

NG: Basically, it was changed for blocking. What the actors were able to do: we needed to get Crowley into the car, and Aziraphale was standing some distance away. Had I been on location that day I might have been able to suggest some options, but I suspect that I would have agreed with the way they did it. I miss Crowley bringing the dove back to life, just as I miss Crowley almost drowning the duck in St James’s Park earlier.

Regarding the aesthetics of their wings:

NG: On TV, Aziraphale’s wings are white and beautiful, and Crowley’s are grey and a bit ragged.

(…) No, you didn’t misunderstand it at all. In the book, demons definitely have better-groomed wings than angels.

On TV, we will do things we didn’t get to do in the book: we spend time with angels in their offices, and we visit Hell. Which meant we needed a visual shorthand for angels, and for Hell.

When, a month or so after the book was published, Terry and I talked about how we would do Heaven and Hell in a Good Omens film or TV adaptation, we decided we wanted it to be a skyscraper, with Heaven on the beautiful floors on the top with the amazing view of the whole world, and Hell in the dark basements that nobody would ever want to work in. (They did lose, after all.)

So when it came to actually having to make that a reality, that was the way I went. And so our Angels are (except for Aziraphale) very smartly dressed, and our demons are (except for Crowley) rather shabby.

And it was probably unfair to describe Crowley’s wings as “ragged”. They just aren’t as pretty as Aziraphale’s wings, probably because Crowley is a lot less interested in wings than he is in things like Bentleys or clothes.

On Beelzebub’s costume:

NG: The fly hat was improvised. The original plan had been to give Beelzebub fly eyes, but Anna Maxwell Martin was about to have or had just had some eye problems which meant no contacts, and no glueing the big fly lenses we’d obtained onto her head. “Nosh” our hair and make up queen showed me what she had and asked my advice and I pointed out that we could turn the lenses and a couple of pieces of wire into a fuzzy fly hat, for Beelzebub on the air base. And we would have lots of face rot and flies in hell. So we did it. And it was the only time we ever got a costuming note from our execs at Amazon asking what the heck was going on with the fly hat. I assured them it would be just fine once we had a visual image of Hell Beelzebub in everyone’s mind. And flies.

Then it was just a matter of looking very fierce every time the people at the BBC told us how much money we would save by not putting the flies around Beelzebub’s head in post-production.

Finally, I’m also including this bit from Twitter about when the Body Swap occurred:

Neil: Douglas thinks the switch was on the bus. I think it was back at Crowley’s place later that night.

Neil: This is the Douglas theory:

Douglas: I think the switch was between the shot where the bus arrives, and the consequent jump cut to them on the bus. They swapped on the bench, then unswapped on a bench. Benches are where they discuss and do things for me! Could Crowley have stopped time again?

[fbfh]

leo x reader switcheroo au hcs

genre: fluff, lil angst, comfort

au: switcheroo au (you're leo's favorite fictional character)

a/n: debating calling this the reverse self ship au but it's a little clunky and ik not everyone is in the self ship community yk

also I got my covid booster shot today!! (the day I wrote this not the day it uploads lol)

Okay okay

So

We know having Leo as your favorite character is a lot of fun

This boy is a sweet fucking treat

He's a DELIGHT

And oh my god

YOU being LEO'S favorite character??????

It's just as much fun

He regularly re consumes your source material

Whether you’re from a book series, tv show, movie, web comic, video game

Doesn’t matter

You’re 100000% his comfort media

He quotes you literally all the time

Not a day goes by when he’s not making a reference to you and your anecdotes

He absolutely has a blog dedicated to you as well

His queue is always full of fanart, fics, headcanons, and incorrect quotes

He has special tags for fanart and fics he feels really captured you

Like perfectly

He’s super picky about that too

He feels like he knows you better than anybody

Or at least he hopes he does

So when he finds something that just absolutely perfectly encapsulates your vibe???

He’s so obsessed

He doesn’t think he’s that good at creative stuff

He is

So he has a really deep appreciation for fan content

Always leaves comments and rants in the tags

He’s a big fan of really subtle fan merch

Like he wants to feel like a part of your story yk

He’ll try to find replicas of his favorite jewelry and clothes you wear

He’s on a long term mission to get copies all of your signature pieces

Wearing an almost identical copy of your bracelets or favorite hoodie just makes himself feel so close to you

Will totally get samples of perfume he thinks you’d wear to spray on your hoodies and shirts

Commissions fanart and fics whenever he possibly can

Like you’re actually a serotonin factory for this mans

He has a few very, very carefully cultivated playlists dedicated to you

He listens to them all the time

Sometimes when a song on his playlists for you comes on somewhere else

Like on the radio or in a store or something

He just kind of stops for a minute

He’s just overwhelmed with thoughts of you

Sometimes when he needs to feel something he’ll fall down an angst rabbit hole

It’s so painful and you deserve so much better

God it always ends with him desperately wanting to give you the biggest hug

His greatest desire in this world is just to hold you

To look you dead in the face and tell you what a good fucking job you’re doing

How wonderful you are, how sweet and perfect and brilliant you are

How happy you make him

He wants so desperately to hold you and make sure you know what an amazing person you are

Because you’re so, so amazing

Not a single day goes by that he doesn’t think about you, cheeks flushed, eyes hazy

He giggles more when he thinks about you than any other time

Everything you do

Everything you say has his full attention

He’s so hyperfixated on you all the time

You’re hands down his comfort character

Every time he’s having a rough day he can see you crystal clear

You’d know just what to say, just what to do

Just the thought of you makes him feel so much better

The amount of nights he’s cried to you, imagining your comforting touch, your presence so viscerally he can almost feel it

He’s done that an almost comical amount of times

He knows you’d laugh that sweet laugh of yours and give him a fond look

You’d probably give him a kiss

Or several

Before pulling him close and saying something just so incredibly in character for you

The comfort he feels when he thinks of you?????

Un fucking matched

Whoever your love interest is

Whether it’s someone you’re canonically love interests with or just someone the fandom ships you with

Leo does not like them

He’s like how does it feel…. To be living MY dream….

Sometimes he gets in his feels about it and loops treat you better by Shawn Mendes and daydreams about fighting to win your heart

When he’s working on projects

Most of the time he’s also imagining you right next to him

He’s actually solved a lot of problems by mentally talking it out with you

It’s like in the first tatbilb movie how lara jean was lying on her bedroom floor and Josh and Peter appeared next to her

It’s like that

He’s lying on one of those rolly skateboard things figuring out what exactly he needs to solder

Then suddenly you’re next to him

“Oh wow, you’ve made a lot of progress…” you’d muse, remembering where he last left off

God he wants to hold you so fucking badly

But if he has to settle for an unrequited one sided love with the greatest fictional character ever created

Aka you

He’ll make the best with what he has

[imaginesandbandfiction]

Harry Styles — Canyon Moon

Fine Line Series Part 4

Okay, I am a dumbass because this was supposed to be posted before To Be So Lonely. Not that it matters much, it can stand alone, but timeline-wise it takes place between Sunflower and To Be So Lonely. Whoops. I am also adding Instagram blurbs to each story! I posted the one for She yesterday and the one for TPWK will be up tomorrow so get excited!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist

Sky Never Looked so Blue

After a month and a half of nonstop travel and late nights, everyone was looking forward to a few days off before setting off to Paris for the European leg of the tour. Having grown up in Chula Vista, you were no stranger to Arizona, and were excited for the Phoenix show, but even more excited about what came after.

During a conversation with some of the crew, you had casually mentioned that you had never been to the Grand Canyon. You then promptly forgot about the conversation until Harry brought up the idea of renting a car and taking a road trip back to LA.

He rented a cabin in the North Rim for three days and had it stocked with groceries so it would be all ready when you arrived, and you set out in a rented Jeep Cherokee the day after the show. Harry insisted on driving while you were in charge of navigation and choosing the music. You played oldies music, singing along with the windows down, the cool autumn breeze whipping your hair around. You were on a mission to find a song that he didn’t already know, and were finally successful with the song Sea of Love by The Honeydrippers, an old 80’s band that only released one short album of covers from the 50’s. Growing up, your dad had an old cassette tape of theirs that he would play in the car.

“You got me on this one,” Harry said, glancing over at you with a smile. “Who is it? It sounds familiar.”

“The Honeydrippers. It was a side project with Robert Plant on vocals, where a bunch of rock stars in the 80’s re-recorded songs from the 50's. My dad played their album a lot when I was a kid, and I’ve always loved this song in particular; he would always sing it to my mom,” you explained, a nostalgic smile on your face.

Harry reached over and grabbed your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it lightly. It was different, being completely alone with him somewhere other than a hotel room or his dressing room. Good different. He listened to the song with a quiet intensity while you sang along, swinging his hand in yours along to the beat.

After almost 6 hours of driving, the two of you finally pulled into the driveway of the little cabin Harry had rented. It felt nice to trade in the heat of the city for the cooler desert air and the golden-hour lighting peeking through the trees. The front of the cabin was secluded by trees, while the back overlooked the canyon.

All the driving, coupled with the exhaustion from the show the night before, had the two of you in bed fast asleep by 8:30pm. You woke up the next morning to the sun shining in through the gauzy curtains, illuminating the room with a soft glow, and Harry’s arm draped across your waist. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and he was snoring lightly, no doubt catching up on sleep from all of the late nights on tour. You smiled and snuggled closer to him, feeling his arm tighten around your waist, letting your eyes flutter closed again. This was the first time you had spent the entire night together and you wanted to savor every moment.

An hour later, Harry started to stir beside you, waking you from your dozing.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled into your hair, sleep weighing down his voice.

“Good morning,” you replied, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. He smiled, eyes still closed, when your lips touched his skin. You spent some time luxuriating in each other’s bodies, taking things slow and letting the anticipation build up until you hit your peak, coming down together in a mess of tangled limbs. While you cleaned up in the bathroom, Harry headed into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

You could get used to lazy mornings like this, you thought, as he returned with two cups of tea.

___

Even with just three days in the cabin, you fell into a little routine together. Doing little domestic things with Harry, like cooking and doing the dishes felt novel in comparison to stolen moments backstage and in hotel rooms. Simple things like reading your books side by side on the little patio out back or curling up on the couch to watch a movie were a luxury you were only beginning to experience together.

While most people were up at the crack of dawn to hike, the two of you preferred to spend all morning in bed, followed by a late breakfast out on the patio overlooking the canyon. Afternoons were for reading or cuddling up on the couch watching old rom-coms, taking turns choosing your favorites.

But the evenings were your favorite part. There was an overlook about a mile away from the cabin with a great view of the sunset, and the two of you made the hike there every night after dinner with blankets and a bottle of wine in hand. On your last night, you brought snacks, chocolate-covered strawberries and macarons, to have a mini-picnic.

The two of you set out a little earlier and took it slow, wanting to make each moment last as long as possible before heading back to real life tomorrow. Harry carried everything in a backpack and you led the way, holding his hand and swinging it between the two of you.

“The sky is so much bluer out here,” you commented, pointing out towards the horizon.

“Probably because the land is so much redder,” Harry responded with a laugh.

“Doesn’t change the fact that it’s true, though.” You fell into a comfortable silence as you continued the walk, both lost in your own thoughts. In moments like these, you wished you could read Harry’s mind, pulling all of the words out of his brain and into the air between you. Unfortunately, you’re not Edward Cullen, and you had to settle for your own thoughts, instead.

You dreaded leaving the privacy of your little cabin, and you were more anxious about the first international leg of the tour than you let on. The tour had just begun, really, and you hoped that your relationship with Harry was strong enough to handle whatever eight more months of touring may bring.

Shaking your head to clear those thoughts, you turned your gaze to Harry, admiring the way the sunlight brought out the lighter tones in his hair. As much as you loved your job, you had to admit that the slower pace of life you had enjoyed the past few days was intoxicating -- part of you wished you could stay forever, wrapped up in your own cozy little bubble.

When you reached the overlook, Harry shooed you away from helping and set up the little picnic all by himself. The two of you sat on the blanket, glasses of wine in hand, to watch the sun that was just beginning to set.

Harry held a chocolate-covered strawberry up to your lips, nudging them open gently.

“Good?” he asked, eyes bright, eager for your response.You bit into it slowly, letting your eyes flutter closed as you savored the sweet flavor.

“The best,” you answered, opening your mouth for another one. He obliged, feeding you another.

Once the sun had slid below the horizon, Harry laid back and motioned for you to join him. You settled in next to him, with your head on his chest. His body was warm, practically radiating heat, in comparison to the rapidly cooling air around you. You were content; the quiet of the desert was peaceful, and the glow of the moon provided just enough light to illuminate Harry’s face.

You stayed out later than usual, neither one of you wanting to break the spell. Dusk faded to dark, revealing the moon and the stars. Harry pointed out made-up constellations to you, coming up with silly names for shapes he saw in the stars.

“That one’s the Teletubby Galaxy,” he said, gesturing to a clump of stars to the right of you. “See, there’s Tinky Winky, and Po, and the other ones.” He traced his finger around in a shape that made sense only to him. You giggled along, occasionally pointing out your own formations.

The conversation ebbed and flowed, with periods of silence growing larger the later it got. After a prolonged period of silence, you propped your head up on your chin to look up at Harry./

“I don’t want to go home,” you said, sighing. “I wanna stay out here forever.” Harry chuckled as he tightened his grip on your waist.

“I can make a few phone calls, extend our stay until the last possible second,” Harry offered. You shook your head, a small smile on your lips.

“As much as I would love that, I promised my parents I’d be home for a few days before we leave for Paris, and they would kill me if I backed out now.”

“Yeah, Jeff would probably drive out here and drag me back to LA if we stayed.” Disappointment filled his voice, but that was the reality of being on tour.

Harry trailed his fingers up and down your arm, barely grazing the skin there and yet it sent electricity through your body. You turned your head and tilted it back a little bit to capture his lips with yours, needing an outlet for the excitement that was slowly building inside of you. The kisses were slow and lazy, but passionate, and you could feel your heart rate quickening by the minute.

“Should probably head back,” Harry muttered, pulling back briefly. “Don’t want mosquito bites on my cock.”

You laughed, a head thrown back, full-body laugh, echoing throughout the canyon. Harry’s laugh joined yours, until the two of you were practically in tears, rolling around on the blanket. When one of you would slow down, the other would speed up, causing another laughing fit, the kind found most frequently at childhood sleepovers, when you’re up too late and everything seems hilarious.

An itch on your arm brought you back to reality, and you sobered up quickly.

“They’re attacking!” You squealed, pulling up the sleeve of your sweatshirt to show Harry the small red bump forming there.

“Least it’s not on your -- hey!” He started, but you interrupted him with a nudge, “Okay, okay. Let’s get you back so you can suck me dry before they suck you dry.” You rolled your eyes at his dumb joke, but accepted his extended hand and let him pull you up.

Harry quickly packed everything, and the two of you set off hand in hand back to the little cabin to make the most of your last night.

Part 5 | Part 6

[thesunshinebunny]

Hello! I've seen two asks with the first reaction of a Fem!Reader dancing in an erotic/sexy way. (One with the dorm heads and one with the vice dorm heads-)

So I thought I could ask the same thing, but with Cater, Jack, Floyd, Epel, Sebek and Silver. It's okay if it's breaking the rules or you're not comfortable with writing it! But thanks in advance anyways! Stay peachy!! ^^

I never thought I'd end up making a whole series of requests for this style, and to think that the dorm heads was my first order for Twst, what a great start.

Dorm Leaders reaction

Vice Dorm Leaders reaction

As always, all characters are +18 Enjoyyyyyy

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Cater

Montero – Lil Nas X

I imagine Cater as a person who follows trends and is aware of the new music that comes out every single day, so I don't think it is weird to find him listening to the new of Lil Nas x (hiding it from Riddle obviously, knowing him that kind of songs would be strictly prohibited in the halls of Heartslabyul)

But as smart as Cater could get with social media and internet fashions, he didn't notice how you had gotten into music so much that you were mentally creating a choreography.

One specifically for him.

So, when you asked him to spend some private time in the comfort of his bedroom, he didn't expect at all that you would sit him in the middle of his bed just passing the threshold.

For a moment he thought you were going to give him a massage or a handjob, but when you told him to wait patiently, that you were going to change, his impure thoughts were dispelled, thinking that you were going to get more comfortable to snuggle with him.

How wrong he was. It was seeing you come out of the bathroom with a hoodie (that warm and purposeful had nothing), which barely covered your sports bra and shorts, half covering your butt, when all unseemly thoughts returned to his mind.

He stretched out his hands to pull you to him, but you stayed in place, saying you had another surprise.

Cater automatically took out his cell phone to record and take some occasionals photos.

Watching you dance so freely, doing a private show and personally for him made his heart race to a thousand an hour. Even his pants were starting to tighten.

It was seeing your ass and automatically biting his lips. In his mind he was wanting to place each palm on each of your cheeks and squeeze them as he held you against him, preventing you from moving, and his cock buried well deep inside you.

"Are you happy to see me?" your question brought him out of his reverie, realizing that your choreography was over.

He put the cell phone aside and pounced on you, wrapping his arms around you, capturing your lips and throwing you on the bed. Perhaps, among all the ruffle, he put his phone in recording mode and captured ... the entire subsequent session.

Don't worry, Cater would never divulge a video like that and if you want it delete it, he will do it immediately. If not, he will keep it in a folder with a password.

Jack

Solo – Demi Lovato

Jack tried multiple times to convince you to go train with him around the Savannaclaw arena, but each time you refused, stating that you liked being more in the comfort of the bed, covered up to your head, rather than get up at five in the morning to run.

He didn’t take it the wrong way, the way he trained was not for everyone, but he did advise you not to stay still and fall into a sedentary lifestyle, claiming that it would be harmful to your health.

Therefore, you decided to start training on your own, with your own time and doing a little of what you liked most; because remember: to be able to dance like divine goddesses, you need to train ... and a lot.

While he went out for a run, you stayed asleep, when classes ended it was your turn to train.

One day classes ended quite early in your case, allowing you to go to Jack's room to rest and wait for him; But the minutes grew long and what seemed like an hour of waiting turned into two.

So… loud music, more comfortable clothes and practice.

And what does Jack like more than training? See you give your best while doing what you like.

Finding you in his room dancing in sportswear was an image that he would like to print and keep in his mind.

He didn’t care that you were sweating or that the clothes weren’t the tightest to mark your figure, just seeing you move your hips was what he needed to have a smile from ear to ear.

Finish your dance calmly, that your gray wolf will be waiting for you at the door, smiling at you and with open arms to give you a big hug for the effort.

He would eat you with kisses and bites to show you how happy he was to see you happy. If this leads to more… spicy things, that's up to you.

What if I recommend you not to dance this same choreography in the training field in broad daylight, where everyone can see you. The results could be a bit possessive.

But, if you're brave enough, don't complain later if you end up with bites and marks all over your body.

Floyd

My oh My – Camilla Cabello

You walked into the gym expecting to find the basketball team training as usual, but there was no one in their place. Absolute silence.

You took the opportunity to place your backpack next to the roadways, change into comfortable sportswear and put on some music to improve the atmosphere.

When this song started to play, you elatedly stood in the middle of the gym, a sly smile on your face, completely ignoring the sound of rumbling footsteps and slowly approaching the gym.

You were in the middle of the choreography when you felt two arms gripping you tightly, leaving you gasping for air. You screeched as Floyd began to squeeze you more and more, making it impossible for you to move.

"My my, nobody taught you to pay attention to your surroundings when you're alone, koebi-chan?" that sceared the shit out of you.

"Can I dance with you?"

He pulled you closer to him, pressing your back against his torso and your hips against his, lifting you off the floor, and began to spin and sway to the rhythm of the music.

The situation made you laugh until you felt his hand pass over your chest and touch your breast. He settled you against the wall, now your pussy positioned on his erect dick, grinding it thanks to his arms that held you in the air.

At no point did either of you stop the music, letting the playlist roll on and cover the sweet moans coming out of your mouth.

Some freshman ventured into the gym when they heard faint groans creep through the large metal doors.

They got the scare of their lives when they saw Floyd pounding from behind you, staring straight at the entrance and throwing death threats with just his eyes.

Epel

Do it like a dude – Jessie J

Listen to me... you can't tell the only woman at NRC that she can't participate in a dance competition because "it's only for guys"

Uhhhhhhhhh, if I was in that situation how would break their teeth.

Buuuut, you were able to defend yourself in a better way… going to the middle of the training ground where the competition (led by Professor Vargas) was taking place.

I have to say that you left all the participants with icy skin? Other than making them feel like they have a small dick. Straight to the ego.

And Epel was no different. He wasn’t embarrassed by the fact that a girl had beaten him in steps that were recognized later is another matter not ashamed at all, not at all.

Which did bring his ego to the ground and his self-esteem was to see you give your all to overthrow sexism, while he could barely stand in the same line as those of Savannaclaw.

Either way, he enjoyed watching you dance, you seemed re-empowered and that gave you an aura of a strong and powerful woman.

If those who refused to let you participate didn’t give you the prize, rest assured that Epel will leave them in their place, perhaps with the help of Deuce.

He asked you how you could have so much confidence in yourself and that may have caused a butterfly effect ... he wanted to know, well you will teach him in bed.

Two or three tricks may have taken effect and in the next competition (or anything) Epel will give his best, even if he has you as an opponent.

Victory sex for whoever wins? Victory sex.

Sebek

Play with Fire – Sam Tinnesz

You were calm in the comfort of your bedroom, going over some class assignments, some background music, Grimm sleeping next to the bed. A normal day.

But quite boring.

You decided to go down to do a little stretching, so much time hunched over in bed looking at the notes it makes your back very bad. You took your cell phone and left the little cat sleeping comfortably.

Between those stretches you got the idea of ​​practicing a little choreography, nothing too complicated or time consuming; maybe half an hour, forty minutes and that's it.

Well, it ended up being a two hour workout, doing one choreography more complicated than the other. Night had fallen and you were supposed to have a little "date" with Sebek right in your bedroom.

There were knocks on the door, but with the volume of the music you couldn't hear them, nor did you hear the creak of the door opening and closing.

Sebek found you in the middle of the living room, moving your arms around your body. He’s not stupid, he knew you were doing a choreography and he would have enough patience to let you finish it and show up.

What he didn’t expect was to see your figure fall to the floor and move in those ... eccentric movements

Indecent thoughts get out of this mind.

You finished dancing and Sebek was still standing in the middle of the hall, not knowing what to do, where to look, and if he was allowed to speak.

"Sebek are you ok? When did you came in?"

Completely taken out of his reverie, ready to continue the evening as if nothing had happened.

Inwardly he was dying of excitement.

Without telling you anything, with the "date" half finished, having a good and sweet dinner, he just ... slamed you against the wall and took you right there and there.

You both ended up scaring poor Grimm. He just wanted to come down to eat his tuna.

Silver

Maria - 화사 (Hwasa)  

It wasn’t unusual to hear multiple and different songs in the corridors of Diasomnia, especially with Lilia as a member of the light music club; it was normal to hear all kinds of rhythms, even different languages.

Therefore, Silver didn’t find it unusual to hear Korean lyrics as he walked through the lounge of his dorm.

What he did think was strange was hearing footsteps and blows, which had a very peculiar resemblance to the rhythm of music.

In a corridor somewhat away from the common area, which led to a small meeting room and greater tranquility, you were there with the music blasting and dancing as if you were the owner of the place.

Don't get me wrong, Silver was 1000% okay with you dancing in his dorm, even if you wanted to do it on a table in the middle of the lounge room… be his guest.

What he couldn’t allow was his roommates seeing you so… free, sure of yourself, indisputably if you were wearing sports clothes or little clothes, leaving nothing to the imagination.

And if Malleus was among those people… ufff, a big no from our silver boy.

He would go to where you were and lift you by the legs, placing you on his shoulder and commenting that you could continue your dance in a more private place.

That place was his room.

"The way you dance is ... intoxicating"

If at any time the brilliant idea of ​​approaching Silver occurs to you while you dance, take it for granted that he will grab you in his arms and throw you on the bed.

Nope, he's not going to let you finish the choreography. He has another type of choreography in mind.

Lilia put up a do not disturb sign on the other side of the door, proud to see his son a grown-up… apart from the fact that he would have a little “chat” with him immediately after the deed it doesn't matter if you’re still naked and pathetically covered with sheet, he would just *pufff*

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.

lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one

(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)

-- fff why did I laugh

it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME

also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks

blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?

AHHHHHHH

PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD

(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news

wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN

so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads

oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it

COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO

MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever

WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII

WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA

YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF

(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)

GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT

dsflksaldkh;l

that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders

“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense

well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance

and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol

anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or

NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS

OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG

“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET

LMAO

“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me

YAY THEY SAVED THEM

but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them

goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here

oh my god

is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT

OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD

“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though

...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god

omg finally something interesting is happening!!

look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme

MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH

I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE

OH MY GOD

MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK

THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --

I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!

HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??

......

HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM

FUCK

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS

FUCK

GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI

AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU

NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”

AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped

p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway

(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 

so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)

shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters

(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)

and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit

so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol

ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting

so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what

OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH

Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC

“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith

UM

 ( •̀ へ •́  )

that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite

GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out

is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what

anyways. your turn to what??

:’) excuse me what

hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay

so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg

but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol

meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit

anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it

[publicurination]

I am listening to nugu/nuguish groups entire discographies and I want to make a post detailing my opinions on each (I already liked a lot of these groups songs so I’m just re-listening to their discographies for some of these)

I may make another one of these

ELRIS

I really enjoyed everything Elris has released especially their debut EP. You and I really stands out to me on that EP. Also their “Elris? Here I am!” Thing is so cute I could put a hole through my wall. I really like how they have different music but it all sounds very ‘Elris’ if that makes sense? I will definitely be following along with them granted they are let out of the basement. Would enjoy another cute concept from them

Favorite Songs:

You and I

POW POW (this is my favorite MV as well)

Like I Do

Least Favorite

Intro (on the ‘Jackpot’ EP)

Member that catches my eye

Bella (jackpot hair just too iconic)

NATURE

I actually don’t know much about Nature girlies but they all have gorgeous voices. Like literally perfect for ballads (which must be why they have quite a few lol) there’s one blemish on their discography imo like I genuinely couldn’t finish listening to the song because it was so awful. One song is no big deal tho because they certainly made up for it with the rest of their music. I kinda wish they were more solid with visual concepts for their albums. Their single album ‘Nature World : Code M’ feels very Nature to me in visuals and music and I love that sort of concept. Idk maybe I’m just not good at spotting and naming concepts lol.

Favorite songs

Allegro Cantabile

A Little Star

Drinkin’

Least Favorite

MORMOR

Member that catches my eye

Saebom

GWSN

I LOVE THEM!!! I’ve been following them since Pinky Star. I love magical concepts like these. Cute(ish) magical concepts are always a plus as well as I am a huge fan of cute concepts. Also their music videos are so good as well. I’m really glad they recently had this comeback because I was really worried disbandment was knocking on their door. Also I think they have some of the best B-sides out there, especially their ‘Park in the Night’ series I own all three albums in the series I love it so much.

Favorite songs

Recipe ~ for Simon

Puzzle Moon

YOLOWA

Literally the entire ‘The Other Side of the Moon’ EP

Least favorite

Red Sun (sorry 😔)

Member that catches my eye

Seokyoung

Yukika

Yes I know she isn’t a group but I love her so much. She needs to blow up in Korea soon for real like she’s never missed with any of her music. Especially Soul Lady like seriously it’s the perfect album to me I feel like nothing bad could happen to me while I listen to this album. Her voice is just so fucking perfect for City Pop and not only that she is so gorgeous. Especially her fit in Neon mv so gorgeous I love her so much.

Favorite songs:

Neon

What’re You Doing Tonight?

Yesterday

A Day for Love

No least favorite she’s perfect <3

Yukika 🥺❤️❤️

Honey Popcorn

Yess I love them I like their cute concept and their message wish we got more music from them tho because they’re basically disbanded as they’ve been inactive for a bit. Love the music they put out tho not much to say because I feel like they couldn’t do typical idol stuff because of the controversy but would be absolutely delighted if they released more music (especially with the cute concept)

Favorite Songs

Violet

Bibidi Babidi Boo

Pretty Lie

Least Favorite

De-Aeseohsta

Member that catches my eye

Yua

( no good honey popcorn gif so enjoy yves break 😌)

SATURDAY

Saturslay cutie girls I love their concept but I hope they can have a chance to really show off more of their strengths more. I do love them a lot I was a huge fan of MMook JJi Bba when it came out and I think I will keep supporting them! Love them doing OSTs booked and busy queens

Favorite songs

MMook JJi Bba

Only You

BByong

Least favorite

In Your Eyes

Member that catches my eye

Sion (former member)

From_is9

Another group I am a big fan of. They don’t really seem that nugu to me but they kind are 😭 I don’t really see people talking about them that much. Nugu but not to the extent of like Nature. They have so many good songs like I haven’t heard a song from them I didn’t like especially their newest comeback I really thought it would shoot them more into mainstream 😰 anyway love them and I want them to succeed so bad

Favorite Songs

We Go

Dkdk

Coloring

Least favorite song

Dancing Queen

Member that stands out to me

Hayoung

Cherry Bullet

Another group I’ve been following for a while!! I honestly didn’t realize they were nugu for a while 😭😭 they’re so good and have a such a cool concept I think they could be HUGE inside and outside of South Korea. They have really good B-sides too I love them I can’t wait for them to take off (if they release another song as good as ‘Love so Sweet’) I’m sure they will

Favorite songs

Ping Pong

Love so Sweet

Hands Up

Least favorite song

Keep Your Head Up

Member that stands out to me

May

Woo!Ah!

I have mostly mixed feelings about these girlies, feel like the nugu version of ITZY, where as in every song sounds like a car accident but I love it. I don’t particularly care for their newest release but I’ll still stream 🙇‍♀️. Also I’m a little surprised they didn’t get more attention after one of their songs got popular on tiktok but what can you do! Hopefully they can get a bit more attention and release another bada bada bing bada boom type song lol

Favorite songs

Round & Round

Woo!ah!

Bad Girl

Least favorite song

Purple

Member that stands out to me

Sora

Purple Kiss

Omg I was so absolutely obsessed with their pre-debut songs I love their aesthetic. Plus all such good vocalists like girlies go crazy!! And the fucking teaser for ‘Crown’??? So good I was hyped forever!! I’m really excited to see more of these girls I think they could be huge

Favorite songs

Can We Talk Again

My Heart Skip a Beat

Hello

Least favorite song

Ponzona (sorry 😔)

Member that stands out to me

Dosie (and also Swan)

[spine-buster]

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | three

A/N: Thanks again for your positive feedback on this mini-series!  Please keep those canon questions coming as you guys know I loooove answering them to help build the canon!  This one is a short one but it will be made up for by the last two chapters.

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

                                                                 *     *     *     *     *

Brock and Grace were having fun.  Actual, genuine, real fun.  Whenever they were together, they were smiling and laughing and kissing and having a good time.  They’d go out to eat at Vancouver’s best restaurants.  They’d take walks in parks or along the seawall.  They’d get coffee at cute little cafés and munch on bespoke cookies or donuts that would make Brock complain about extra hours in the gym.  They’d invite Elias and Svea with them and it would be great, because they were great, and they’d all just be constantly laughing.  Grace and Svea got closer – much closer.  Elias and Brock were tearing it up for the Canucks.  Grace and Svea would go to bars for a glass of wine before going to games together.  They’d cheer and clap and sing along with all the songs being blasted throughout the arena.

Fun.  Life was fun.  

***

“How do I bite it?!” Brock was incredulous at the size of the cupcake Grace got him.  It was bigger than his jaw could open.  Elias and Svea were already ready with their damn phones to film him.  “I can’t…” he tried to bring it up to his mouth.

“Just put the whole thing in your mouth!” Grace exclaimed.

“That’s what she said,” Elias mumbled, only to garner a disapproving mother look from Brock and a slap on the arm from Svea.  “What!  Isn’t that the joke?!”

“Don’t be crass,” Svea chastised before focusing her attention back on Brock.  “Just bite the thing, Brock.  Just…just stuff it in there,” he pretended to do the motion herself.

“Again, that’s what she said.”

Grace hit Elias too this time.  

***

“You can get us reservations to Hawksworth?” Svea asked in shock.  

Grace nodded casually, like it was the easiest thing in the world to get a reservation at Vancouver’s best and most exclusive restaurant.  “The Gillespie’s own the Rosewood Hotel Georgia.”

“You do?”

Grace nodded again before sucking back on an oyster.  “When do you want to eat there?”

“Oh, I – I don’t know.  Can I get back to you?”

“Of course!  Just let me know.”

“Wow Grace,” Svea said.  “You really do have the world at your fingertips.  Vancouver especially.”

Grace shrugged her shoulders.  “It’s a blessing and a curse.  I can’t go anywhere without running into someone that knows my dad or knows who I am and thinks they know me.  It’s even worse when they knew my dad a long time ago and only ask about how he’s doing with his Parkinson’s now.  Most of the time they don’t even truly care.  And I’d trade it all in, every single penny, if it meant my dad never got Parkinson’s.”

Svea couldn’t imagine living that kind of life.  She didn’t know how Grace did it – or Brock, for that matter.  She would be a sobbing mess on the floor every single day.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to be insensitive when I—”

“Oh God no.  No no no – you don’t need to apologize.  I just…” Grace paused, trying to collect her thoughts.  “I know how fortunate I am, believe me.  I just don’t think people know that – that I know I’m fortunate.  But Parkinson’s – any chronic illness – it really humbles you.  Most people don’t know what that’s like.  And like, thank God they don’t.  But they think they know.”

All Svea could do was nod her head and listen.

***

Whenever Brock sent a text that said ‘come over and watch a movie’ Grace knew what that really meant.  But instead of finding it lewd, she’d slather on some raspberry chapstick and be on her merry way to Brock’s apartment.

When they were done, and lying in bed together, with her head on his chest and her hair sprawled everywhere, that’s when the talking would begin.  “How’s your dad doing?”  “Are the new round of meds working?”  “Is he having more trouble getting up now?”  “What are the doctors saying?”  “How’s his memory?”  “How’s the swallowing?”  “Are the doctors recommending speech therapy?”  

“When I quit dance, my dad was so disappointed,” Grace revealed one night as Brock was running his hands through her hair.  “It was the only thing I was ever really, really good at.  I wasn’t the best in school.  I just didn’t get things the way other kids did.  And when I told him the reason, he made me promise I’d keep doing dance in some capacity.  I maybe wouldn’t do it super-competitively anymore with him driving me all around BC and flying me all over Canada and the US to attend competitions, but I’d still do it.  That’s why I teach at the Goh Ballet.  Like…I know I’m not the smartest girl in the world, but I like to think I have a big heart.  And I just hope that people see that.”

“I wear number six because it was my dad’s number,” Brock revealed too, one night when they were alone.  “I wanted…I wanted to make sure that if he wasn’t around, my career would still honour him in some way.  I want that to be my legacy…like, everything I do, I do for my dad.”

Grace nodded.  She completely understood.  “I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who knows and understands exactly what I’m going through,” she said.  “Do you think it was fate that brought us together at that meeting?”

Brock found himself nodding his head automatically.  “Of course,” he said softly.

***

“I’m sorry we couldn’t have you at the house for dinner, Brock, but our chef is on vacation,” Eliza Carmichael, Grace’s mom, smiled from across the table as she sipped on her glass of wine.  From beside her, her husband, Grace’s step-dad James kept perusing the menu, as did Grace’s two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo, who were seated at opposite heads of the table.  

“Oh that’s no problem at all,” he smiled politely, grabbing Grace’s hand underneath the table and squeezing it gently before putting it in his lap.  “I actually come here with the boys sometimes.  The food here is amazing.”

“It is, isn’t it?  James knows the head chef,” she said.  “Grace tells me you’re a hockey player.”

It was at that point that James put down his menu.  “Honey, he plays for the Vancouver Canucks.  We’ve been over this.”

Eliza rolled her eyes playfully before picking up her menu.  It was only at that point that Brock noticed the giant rock on her finger.  It was the size of his eyeball.  “Grace tells me you live in Shaughnessy,” he said, trying to make polite conversation.  “I hear that’s a beautiful neighbourhood.”

“Oh, it is.  Perfect place for the quiet life hockey player’s lead,” James joked.  Brock forced out a chuckle.

***

“I love this song!!!” Grace exclaimed as the DJ began to play some old school Rihanna.  She downed the rest of her drink and slapped the glass against the bar before grabbing Brock’s arm with one hand and Svea’s hand with the other, knowing that Svea would, on instinct, grab Elias’s arm and drag him to the dance floor too.

The club was completely unstuffy.  There were no girls dressed to the nines, no four-inch stiletto heels digging into Grace’s feet, no people showing up just to be seen in booths with bottle service.  It was completely unpretentious and that’s how Grace liked it.  Considering her lifestyle and her wealth, it was actually how she liked everything.  So when the DJ began playing pop songs, she couldn’t help but start dancing uncontrollably.  To his credit, Brock did too.  It was like he lost all his inhibitions and began moving his body in tune with the music.  Even Elias and Svea did, and Grace knew how…well, quiet they were.  This wasn’t their scene at all but they were having the time of their life dancing with each other, spinning each other around and moving to the beat of the music.  

For at least a night, Grace could forget.  She could forget how her parents used her to get back at one another during an awful divorce.  She could forget her mom re-married an equally as nice guy as her dad but became more pretentious as the years went on and the wealth accumulated.  She could forget that she made the decision to quit dancing professionally.  She could forget her dad had Parkinson’s.  For one night, everything was perfect.  Everything was fun.  Everything was how it should be.

***

“Fuuuuck, baby,” Brock groaned as he watched Grace climb on top of him, leaning forward so she could press his breasts up against his face.  He immediately took the opportunity to place wet, open mouth kisses all over her breasts, kissing down to her nipples before taking them in his mouth.  He could feel her grab his cock and lower herself onto it, sighing at the feeling of him filling her up.  “Feel good?”

“You always feel amazing,” she smiled, her hair falling around her face.  “That’s why I can’t stop fucking you.”

Brock chuckled, a cocky smile on his face as he reached up and brought Grace’s face down so he could kiss her and stick his tongue down her throat.  “Ride me, baby,” he mumbled against her lips.

Grace began rocking her hips back and forth, her body moving so expertly and so in tune with Brock’s.  Almost immediately, she began to moan, and Brock grabbed her hands and intertwined their fingers so she’d have something to brace against.  Brock was in a trance – as he usually was when Grace was riding.  He was completely and utterly transfixed by her in every sense of the word, and in every way; from the hair on her head to the red nail polish on her toes.  

“God, I fucking love you, Grace.”

The words had barely escape Brock’s mouth before he realized the magnitude of what he said, how he said it, and when he’d fucking said it.  God, he was such a fucking idiot!!!!!  During sex?!  Really?!  Way to live the cliché Brock Boeser!  Way to be a fucking idiot and—

“I fucking love you too, Brock,” he heard Grace say, a smile adorned on her face.  The both of them giggled, and couldn’t stop giggling for a while even though she was still riding him.  It was miraculous.  “Way to say it for the first time while I’m riding you,” she joked.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said.  

“You’re lucky I love you, because that’s such an amateur move, Brock.”

[comfortwriting]

Whatever It Takes - F.W

Part 3 of the ‘Call Out My Name’ series, inspired by the song ‘Whatever It Takes’ by Life House. 

Part 1, Part 2

A/N: Ahhh here it is, sorry for the long wait! The finale of my first mini series, I hope you lovelies enjoy and thank you for the support!<33

Warnings: Mentions of sex, smut, fluff, angst, jealously and swearing.

Pulling away from the kiss you couldn’t process what you had done, trying to catch your breath your glassy eyes got lost in Fred's. The last time you kissed him felt like forever ago and just like that, you were back to square one; hungry for him.

You looked at your feet and sighed “meet me at my apartment, go now and don’t let my parents see you” you ordered him “we’ll... talk things through.”

Before you managed to pick up your box and go back downstairs to you parents, Fred grabbed your wrist and kissed your hand “you won’t regret this.”

Once you met him in your apartment, the two of you were up all night talking things through; Fred mostly apologising and explaining that you were the one all along. Although you were seeing someone else, it felt right to be with Fred, the kiss felt right, everything felt somewhat perfectly in place.

You finished writing the letter to your now ex-boyfriend, explaining that you couldn’t and didn’t want to be with him anymore and that you were sorry, you hoped it would be enough for him to accept.

After keeping your re-lighting of an old flame with Fred secret for the first few months, when you finally decided to break the news your parents and your sister weren’t over the moon - and your now ex-boyfriend was heartbroken and hated Fred with a burning passion; cursing the two of you.

The Weasleys on the other hand, were all delighted and so excited to welcome you back into their life and warm home. Molly and Arthur promised your parents that they would do anything and everything to ensure that you would be happy and safe with their son.

George ran towards you and held you tight into his warm embrace, crying with happiness that he could have his best friend back that he wouldn’t need to hide from anyone anymore; you could finally meet up and go out for lunch together every week which you had missed so much.

Fred knew that making things right, fixing things wouldn’t be easy, he had to prove himself to your family, he needed to show you how much he loved you after everything he had done - he also had to deal with the other people you had slept with whilst he was busy playing house.

“Well I still don’t like him.” Your father muttered under his breath sitting with you on the sofa, flicking through the Daily Prophet.

Fred was standing behind the door, listening in to everything that was being said.

“You don’t have to like him dad, but I’m happy with him and you need to accept that.” You defended your boyfriend.

Your dad glared at the paper and flicked the page “as long as you don’t bloody marry the fella.”

Fred’s heart dropped.

You giggled and sighed, standing up to get yourself a drink “maybe I will.”

A strangled smile fell from your face

What kills me that I hurt you this way

The worst part is that I didn't even know

Now there's a million reasons for you to go

But if you can find a reason to stay

Fred took a hold of your hand, the two of you resting beside the fire in your apartment listening to some muggle music.

“What time is it?” You asked, looking through the window, noticing the sunset.

“It’s seven o’clock” Fred replied staring at the clock, planting a kiss on your hand.

You stood up slowly and smiled at Fred “I’ve got to get ready” you replied, walking into your bedroom.

Fred realised that since his absence you had gained quite the following of male friends and a flock of admirers, tonight you were going out for a business dinner with your boss from the ministry to discuss a promotion.

Fred felt quite secure until he realised that Percy and other members of the ministry wouldn’t be there, Fred trusted you, but after the way he had treated you - he felt like you could fall through his fingers.

Zipping your dress up and applying the last of your powder, Fred walked into the bedroom leaning against the door frame.

His eyes searching your body and admiring how stunning you looked and how lucky he was to have you.

You’d by lying if you said you truly trusted Fred, you didn’t, he had a lot to prove and you were giving him a chance.

You learned from your mistakes the many times you put him first before your friends and your future, all because you were dating now doesn’t mean that you had to put everything on hold.

You remained independent and your wariness around Fred often made him feel like you could never trust him again, but you could and you would, all in good time.

“Are you sure you don’t need to me to come?” Fred asked, wanting to protect you.

“I’m sure.” You smiled, then thanking him for the offer.

“You look beautiful.” Fred compliment you.

Pecking Fred on the lips you grabbed some Floo Powder, Fred debated silently in his head whether or not to follow you, but he stayed at home and pondered.

After the successful business dinner you arrived home with a big smile on your face, Fred was laid in bed ‘reading’.

You walked into the bathroom, removing your makeup and made your way to the bedroom, undressing yourself, all the while responding to many of Fred's questions about your evening and the man who was your boss.

Fred searched your beautiful body and couldn’t help but bite his lip whilst watching you strip down to your underwear, you chuckled at him and shook your head. 

Sitting on the bed next to Fred, he started to kiss your neck, telling you how beautiful you looked and for the first time in years the two of you made love. You were a lot more confident than you used to be and Fred noticed, you took control and went wild riding him.

Recovering from your orgasm, Fred held you from behind acting as the big spoon. You could sense that something was bothering your boyfriend and you didn’t want to tip toe around the tension so you asked him directly.

“Is everything okay, Freddie?” you traced circles into his arm that was wrapped around your waist.

Fred hesitated for a moment, but answered “how many people have you slept with?” 

You could feel your face burning up “what does it matter love?” 

“I just always remember being... you know.” 

Letting out a light hearted chuckle you turned over to face Fred. “Yes, I did sleep with other people, Fred. We weren’t together for a long while.”

“How many?” Fred asked, sounding slightly worried.

“Why does it matter? It doesn’t define or change me as a person.” 

Fred sighed “it’s just, I heard a lot of talk from other men.. women.. they were right with their accounts of you, they too had a good time.” 

You stroked Fred’s cheek “I don’t care what they’ve said, you shouldn’t either; I only want and love you - you only get me like this.” you paused for a moment “not that it matters but more than you.” you joked, making Fred laugh.

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

Over the years with your promotion, work at the ministry got harder, the hours got longer and the stacks of paper work got higher. You were drowning in the pressure.

Fred and George’s business was doing incredibly well and they were busy too - but you made things work and you were looking to buy a house and move out of your apartment. 

Almost landing on your arse from being spat out the fire place, covered from head to toe in soot Fred chuckled at the sight of you and outstretched his hand, helping you up.

You weren’t expecting him to be home so early, he was always working overtime as you chose to work on weekends instead of the extra few hours on weekdays. You were lucky to get a whole evening alone with Fred, let alone a whole day.

“Follow me, love” he smiled.

Holding Fred’s hand, he walked you into the bathroom. The whole room lit up from tea light candles, the bath filled with warm water and colourful bubbles sitting on the surface and floated in the air.

Fred dragged his hand across the water, moving the bubbles, in the water floated delicate red Roses.

“Oh Fred” you smiled up at him, your eyes sparkling “this is the most special thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Fred felt his heart skip a beat, finally feeling like he had done something right. He helped you get undressed and get into the bath, allowing the warm water to pull you under.

Fred turned around to leave the room but you stopped him.

“why don’t you join me?” You smiled, splashing the water, teasing him.

Fred bit his lip and smiled “the food isn’t going to cook itself”

You let out a chuckle “you’re a wizard–“

Fred blushed, remembering what his mother once told him. “Just because you're allowed to use magic now does not mean you have to whip your wands out for everything.”

Whilst you finished off in your stunning, romantic bath you got dressed into the comfy clothes laid out for you on the sink counter, little did you know, Fred was slaving away in the kitchen finishing up on the meal he had been cooking.

Walking into the dim lit dining room the smell of spaghetti filled the room, the table had your plate of food resting on the mat, with a glass of fire whiskey and a rose resting in a vase in the middle of the table.

You felt incredibly flattered, yet under dressed in the comfy oversized clothes Fred had picked out for you.

Fred admired your look and pulled out your chair.

“Fred, this is incredible—“ you noticed the cooking book on the kitchen worktop. “You did all this without magic!?”

Fred nodded and smiled shyly “I wanted to make an effort, you deserve that and so much more.”

The two of you talked about your day at work, Fred and his brother increasing sales, you talking about Percy and his jealousy towards your promotion.

You both laughed and held hands over the table, you felt like finally everything had fallen into place, you had finally got what you wanted - the love of your life to have and to hold.

“By the way, you’d make a brilliant chef” you complimented, pointing to your empty plate.

Muggle love songs suddenly came on through the radio and rose petals slowly rained down from the ceiling out of nowhere, you couldn’t believe your eyes or the amount of effort Fred had put into this evening.

Fred took a hold of your hand and pulled you into the heart of the living room, holding you close to him, both of you dancing along to the music. You could feel Fred’s heart thump against your ear, pulling away from him you gave him a concerned look.

“Fred, are you okay?” You asked, trying your best not to sour such an incredible evening.

Fred took a deep breath and got down on one knee, pulling out a box from his back pocket. He lifted the top off the box and the most gorgeous ring sparkled against the lights, Fred smiled and looked into your eyes.

“Y/N, from the moment I first saw you, you made me feel things I didn’t know I was capable of. I want to make you feel those things too, I promise. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your eyes welled up with tears of happiness, you couldn’t believe the boy you fell for all those years ago at Hogwarts would be on his knees, proposing to you.

“It took your dad a lot of thought and consideration just to let me do this tonight, Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” Fred breathed out, his heart still thumping.

“Yes, yes Freddie” you cried, holding out your hand “I would love to.”

She said if we're gonna make this work

You gotta let me inside even though it hurts

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see

She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be

You've gotta love yourself if you can ever love me

After the wedding there was talk about the two of you, some said you made a big mistake - calling you a mug, saying that Fred was punching above and you were only with him because you felt sorry for him.

The two of you were aware of the chat and often heard it when you were out in Diagon Alley, you didn’t let it bother you because it was only talk - but all of this ‘talk’ was beating Fred down; making him feel insecure and like he was useless.

“Oh Fred please relax, it’s not a big deal” you tried to reassure him, stroking his head.

“It’s a big deal to me, you know how I feel about men speaking to you that way.”

One of the men you had a one night stand with many moons ago spotted you in the leaky cauldron with Fred and approached you, asking why you never called him back. Fred was mortified and felt threatened by this man.

“We’re married Fred, if we’re going to make this work, you need to tell me what’s bothering you so we can work through it.”

Fred put his head in his hands and sighed “I just feel like you deserve better, all these men you were with, they’re so much better than I am.”

You sighed and got Fred to look you in the eyes “Don’t be silly Fred, they aren’t better than you at all. I decided to be with you for a reason - after everything that happened, you need to forgive yourself Fred.”

Fred stayed silent and wiped away his tears with his sleeve. “How can I forgive myself for hurting you?” He croaked.

You sat beside him in bed and rubbed his back “because I’ve forgiven you for everything that happened, I want us to be happy, to not care about what others think.”

Fred cried even more, feeling like a weight had been lifted off him. “You’ve forgiven me?”

“Of course I did, Freddie” You smiled, kissing his cheek “I married you for a reason, not because everyone else was doing it. I want to carry your child one day.”

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

And give me a break

I'll keep us together

You took it upon yourself to get you and George to see a muggle couples counsellor, you had read about them in plenty muggle magazines and decided it would be the best - not just for your marriage but for Fred.

Seeing him constantly panic and overthink broke your heart, you wanted this to be a healthy and stable relationship and you both loved one another so much to make it work.

At first the sessions started at one session a week, and then as the months went by it became once every two weeks, and then once per month when you were both making progress.

The first bout of sessions usually started with the counsellor asking questions, getting the two of you to have sessions alone and to talk to one another towards the end.

“I’m just scared that she’ll realise there’s there’s other who are much better than me and they’ll treat her better.” Fred opened up nervously.

“I just wish he would forgive himself, I’ve forgiven him - I did a long time ago - I want him to be able to move forward with me.” You teared up.

After six months you were able to spend sessions together talking to one another, and being able to bask in the progress the two of you had made.

Fred felt more secure and didn’t panic about you suddenly disappearing.

You and George would often talk about it over your lunch dates, you would learn more about your husband and how much he struggled when you were gone, and being able to talk about it made you closer to your best friend who was now your brother in law. You felt incredibly secure and loved by his family.

Through the months of November, December and January, you and Fred had been spending plenty of the winter evenings keeping one another warm; trying for a baby.

Pondering around the bathroom nervously while Fred was messing around in the living room trying to bake some muggle muffins, you picked up and test and smiled widely.

Walking into the kitchen you leaned against the door frame and smiled at Fred, watching him getting frustrated with the cooking book and measurements of ingredients.

“Getting annoyed are you, Mr or should I say Daddy Weasley?” You smirked.

Fred startled by your voice pulled a questioning face at you “Daddy Weasley?”

You pulled the test from your back pocket and waved it in your hand, beaming at your husband.

“Wait...you’re?” Fred’s had a surprised expression on his face, you could see the tears forming in his eyes.

You nodded your head and could feel your tears forming too “positive.”

I know you deserve much better

Remember the time I told you the way that I felt

And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself

Let's hold onto each other above everything else

Start over, start over

“I cannot believe he’s got you up the bloody duff!” Your dad scolded, helping you around your new house.

“It was a mutual decision, we decided we wanted to, together.” You defended your husband, finally sitting down on the sofa to catch your breath.

“Well now you’ve got his kid no other man will want you and you’re tied to him forever now, whether you like it or not.”

You sighed, starting to feel frustrated and angry. Fred could head your fathers cruel words and felt like he would never fit your fathers expectations.

“When will you realise that me and Fred are happy together? I know he hurt me and I know that you’re upset about it, but it’s been years! Please can you just forgive him, dad? I did.” You pleaded, the added on stress causing the baby to kick out inside of you.

Sitting in front of Fred in the bath, he washed your hair for you with a cup as you couldn’t bend all the way back from your big bump.

“He’ll never accept me” Fred muttered in a low sad voice.

You have Fred a sorrowful smile “I don’t care Fred. He wants me to be happy and I am.” You covered your eyes from the flowing water.

Fred felt relieved knowing that your father wouldn’t influence the way you felt about him, knowing that your love for him was pure.

“I love you” he whispered, massaging your scalp.

“I love you too” you smiled, feeling another kick “and this little one loves you too”

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

You and your four year old daughter were in the garden potting some beautiful plants in your parents garden, your father was sitting with Fred in the kitchen, the two of them watching you and the little one.

Your father smiled, his granddaughter patting the soil and cheering as she planted some more seeds, her long and beautiful ginger hair flowing in the wind.

“You’ve created a beautiful little family, you and my daughter.” Your father said to Fred, taking a sip of his drink.

Fred shuffled in his seat, the tension in the air was nothing short of awkward but it meant a lot to him knowing that his father in law finally had something good to say.

“You’ve proven yourself to me, Fred. I’m sorry it took so long for me to warm up to you and the idea of you being with my daughter, when your little girl gets older you’ll understand why. Seeing how happy she is, having that little one in my life - you can’t put a price on that.”

Your father extended his hand out to Fred, slowly smiling at him. Fred paused for a moment and shook his hand, smiling back at him.

“Shall we go out there and help?” Fred smiled “they look like they could use some help.”

Your father nodded his head “I would like, Fred.”

The two of them walked outside together, joining you and your daughter. Looking up at your father and Fred smiling at one another you felt your heart flutter, the two men in your life that you loved more than anything were finally on the same page.

You could finally move forward as a family, the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

You were Fred’s girl.

[ifimayhaveaword]

@0celestialbitch0 and @softanon tagged me in a get-to-know-you meme on my main, but I hope y’all don’t mind that I’m putting it over here instead! tysm bébés!

Rules: tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don’t reblog!

Favorite color: long-term it’s always been green, but I’m having a yellow & dusty pink moment 💛

Currently reading: uhhhh not much! I got struck with the desire to re-read Sabriel by Garth Nix, and then actually read the rest of the series. Gotta see if it’s available thru Libby, as a text or audiobook! (Also gotta catch up on Anything that Shines by @thosewickedlovelies 👀 and read the next part of hey batter batter! by @ohheyitsokay 😍)

Last song: Take me Home Country Roads!!! It was the last song we sang in rehearsal last night and it’s the last thing I listened to 😅

Last series: …..I think tbobf?? If you count YouTube series then I caught up on Tasting History with Max Miller the other day!!

Last movie: Encanto! Watched it with my lil nieces 🥰

Sweet, spicy, or savory: I have a pretty low spice tolerance, but I do enjoy what I can handle! Sweet>savory>spicy usually, but like. I love food don’t make me pick.

Coffee or tea: usually coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon & evening, but it all depends on my mood☕️

Three ships: (oh god how much of an embarrassment do I want to out myself as??) Hmm. Me x all my faves 🥰🥰🥰

First ever ship: Zelda/Link from LoZ! I used to watch my brother play Ocarina of Time ALL THE time when I was a kid— watching him play video games was like watching TV for me- legend of Zelda imprinted on me as a wee lass. I shipped them before I knew what shipping WAS.

Currently working on: batting a ball of yarn in my brain thinking about some prompts that Dia and Elle sent me ages ago (I didn’t forget!!) but not actually writing or plotting or recording anything rn :(

Favorite piece of clothing: I don’t think I have a favorite! But I have a pair of dark wash, high waisted, flare-leg jeans that I l o v e

Comfort food: uhhhh cheese n toast, moms turkey soup 🥺

Favorite time of year: spring & autumn 🌱🍁

Favorite fanfiction: Hmm. again, I can’t pick a favorite— I’ve been reading fic for too long now— but one that I always think about and go back to listen to is an AU supernatural fic! An exercise in “worthless” (I don’t recall the author rn) was one I read in college, and then later found the podfic of, and I just. Yeah. I love how it integrates some stuff from canon, how the characterizations are written, and the way the podficcer voices them…. -swooning sigh-

But in another way, if we’re talking tropes? Idiots to lovers, fake dating, historical/fantasy AUs!! (and a/b/o is a guilty pleasure don’t look at me)

Idk who hasn’t been tagged yet, so I’m sorry if you’ve done it/been tagged and don’t wanna do it! Zero pressure!! @corvueros @oloreaa @pettyprocrastination @moonlight-prose @miraclesabound @cinewhore @iamskyereads @scribbledghost 💛💛💛💛

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.6

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Six: Do I Wanna Know?: Late nights at the office. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading.   Word Count: 2.1k Warnings: cursing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, very angsty, mentions of cheating / cheating, this series is a real slow burn babyyy

series masterlist

A/N: i actually i can't get over all of your support and just the nicest feedback omg !! i hope you like chapter six as much as you liked the others.. ENJOY!

-

“Look dad, I can’t really talk right now.” You muttered into the phone. “Don’t tell me you’re working pumpkin.” Your dad responded, a slight hint of fatherly disappointment in his voice. “It’s Friday night. You should be out with Ethan, enjoying your youth!” He exclaimed.

“We just got back from a case so I have a mountain of paperwork.”

“And what does your fiancé have to say about this?”

“He’s working too.”

Anthony sighed on the other line. “At least tell me you’re not in that office all alone.”

“Don’t worry dad, uhm, Spencer is here.” You glanced in the direction of the brunette doctor. He looked up at the sound of his name escaping your lips and a timid smile appeared on his face. Nervously, you smiled back before quickly averting your gaze.

Ever since your slip up on the case, you didn't know how to act around him. You felt incredibly guilty for allowing your emotions get the best of you, and almost ruining the friendship both of you cherish so hard.

Spencer on the other hand, being his usual kindhearted self, didn't let the tense situation change anything. Partially because he felt guilty too, although mainly because he knew that he’d lose you forever if he allowed for one moment of weakness to get between you.

He did everything in his power to make sure things weren't super awkward. He initiated conversation at every opportunity. He brought you coffee in the mornings, and walked you to your hotel room at night. He showed no sign of anger or disdain, yet you remained distant.

“Ah good, good.” Your dad retorted. “Say hello to the brilliant doctor for me, won't you pumpkin.” “I will. Bye dad, love you.” “Love you too.” You hung up the call and placed your phone on the desk. Sighing softly, you ran your fingers through your hair before once again glancing in Spencer’s direction.

The hazel-eyed man was already looking at you. This time, as your eyes locked, your heart skipped a beat.

“My dad,-” You cleared your throat. “My dad says hi.” You repeated the short message making the small smile on Spencer’s face spread a little wider. “Next time you’re talking to him, say hello from me too.” You nodded at his request and with one last shy smile, you turned your attention back to the files spread across your desk.

As you tried your best to focus on the task at hand, Spencer found himself unable to avert his gaze.

It hurt to see you act this way. It hurt to see you hurting.

“Are you hungry?” Spencer asked, making conversation. You shook your head ‘no’ without even looking at him.

The brunette doctor could tell that there was something on your mind. He could also tell it was something bigger than the almost kiss.

He got to his feet and ambled towards you, stopping at the edge of your desk. His sudden closeness, more so the smell of his cologne, caused you to avert your gaze upwards.

“We should talk.” He stated calmly.

“What about?” You played oblivious, blinking up at him.

“About what happened the other day.”

Shit. “I have a lot of work to do Spencer.” You replied quietly, so quiet in fact you weren't even sure he heard you.

“I think this is more important Y/N.” He uttered while pulling up a chair next to you. “You’ve been walking on eggshells around me for days now, and it needs to stop.”

You swallowed your breath. “That’s easier said than done. We almost crossed a line, and I can't help but feel terrible about that. Fuck Spencer, I’m getting married.”

“I know. Which is why almost is the key word there Y/N.” He said. “Plus, don’t forget that you’re not the only person complicit in what happened. I was there too and unlike you, I didn't stop us.”

He was of course correct. Spencer was the voice of reason even back when you were dating. He always did the right thing, and knew exactly how to bring you back to earth - especially when you didn't want to.

You nodded your head slowly. “I-I guess you’re right.”

Spencer smiled at your response. “Of course I am. Now, are we good?” “I guess we’re good.” You repeated. Although your gut was telling you something different.

Spencer sprung to his feet and extended his hand. You furrowed your brows slightly confused. Spencer immediately noticed the perplexed expression and your face and chuckled lightly. “You can’t work on an empty stomach.”

“Sure I can.” You tried to stand your ground but the brunette doctor wasn’t having it. Usually, this is where he’d grace you with a fact or statistic about using your brain while your stomach was empty. But not this time. Without uttering another word, he reached for one of your hands and pulled you up effortlessly.

“Let’s go. Come on.”

Over the next week while everyone cleared out for the evening, Spencer and you remained. To anyone that asked the excuse was of course work. The truth was a lot more complicated.

Although neither of you admitted it, those late nights at the office were the best part of your days. You laughed, ate cheap take out dinners, reminisced, played chess. Spencer taught you card tricks, while you played him newly discovered music. Bliss.

Of course, you could have done all of this either of your homes. Ethan was away at a conference meaning you had the free space, but you couldn't bring yourself to suggest it. Since with every day that passed your feelings for Spencer shifted into something all too familiar. The office was safer. 

“We better get some work done.” You laughed as Spencer threw his arms up to celebrate yet another chess game victory.

“You're just saying that because you lost.” He grinned causing you to roll your eyes. “Have you ever heard of the term ‘sore winner’ doctor? Because that’s what you are.” You said making him laugh.

“Still a winner.” Spencer replied shrugging his shoulders. He opened the drawer of his desk to retrieve a black notebook and grabbed a pen. He flicked briskly through the pages to find the correct one and scribbled down the scores. “This marks my tenth win against you this week.”

“Don’t get cocky genius. I’m not that far behind.” You affirmed.

Spencer’s grin grew a little wider. “Have you ever heard of the term ‘sore loser’ Y/N? Because that’s what you are.” He teased. Laughing, you reached for one of the chess pieces and threw it at the brunette doctor. He caught it with ease and gloatingly stuck his tongue out at you.

“How very mature doctor.” You joked while standing up. You straightened out your skirt and fixed the hem of your shirt before glancing back up at the hazel-eyed man who was watching you intensively. The second your gaze landed on him however, he looked away clearing his throat.

“I should eh, get those boxes back to the file room.” Spencer said while pointing at the stacked cardboard pile.

“I’ll give you a hand.”

“No, no. I can manage.” He replied while getting to his feet. Rolling your eyes, you walked over to the boxes. “Don’t be silly doctor. It would take you at least four trips, and together maybe we’ll manage in two.” You said looking back at him.

The brunette doctor swallowed. Spending this much time with you alone was a dream come true, and he knew he should consider himself lucky. However, with every second that passed he could sense something lingered in the air. The kiss that didn't happen.

It wasn’t a huge issue. As long as the two of you were preoccupied, Spencer’s mind stirred away from wondering about things it shouldn't be. The almost kiss. Yet now he found himself feeling lightly awry of going to the file room with you.

Eventually he nodded and moved toward you, reaching for one of the boxes still on the ground. His heart hammering inside his chest as you looked at him with the prettiest smile gracing your already perfect features.

“This way we’ll be done in no time, and maybe have time for another game of chess.” You stated as you walked ahead to the elevator.

“Another chance for me to beat you.” Spencer replied, trying his best to hide his sudden nervousness.

“Someone’s feeling confident.” You noted while stepping inside the machine. The brunette doctor followed close behind. He pressed the floor button with his elbow and soon the elevator began to move.

Spencer chuckled. “Taking into consideration our past games, the odds are in my favour.”

His eyes locked with yours again. Of course he caught himself staring at times over the last week- how could he not? He knew that you noticed it too, but it didn't seem to bother you. Quite the opposite actually. It ever so slightly made you blush.

“Why didn’t you stop us?” The question escaped you unintentionally. Once you realised you said it, it was too late. Shit.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, although he knew exactly what was on your mind and your lack of response only proved he was right.

Before he could say anything, deflect perhaps, the elevator stopped on the desired floor. The doors flung open, and you didn't waste any time to hurry out of there - away from the conversation.

“Y/N, wait!” Spencer called after you.

“I shouldn't have said anything.” You replied without looking back at him.

Spencer huffed. He hurried ahead and towered over you, causing you to halt in your spot.

“We were doing good, we had a great week. Can we just forget I even asked that stupid question? It just slipped out and...” You trailed off; hesitantly glancing up to meet his gaze.

“I can tell this is bothering you. I can tell this is obviously still on your mind just like it is on mine, therefore this time we should talk it out.” Spencer retorted.

“Please Spencer, just drop it.” You muttered back. With your mouth pursed into a tight smile, you began to walk around the brunette doctor.

What happened next was a blur.

Faint thud. Clatter. The cardboard container previously in Spencer’s hands was now on the floor, papers spilling out.

He pulled you back. His grip around your arm strong yet not too tight. In the space of a single heartbeat, before you got a chance to react, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be.

As Spencer’s hands moved graciously to your face, your grasp on the box loosened and fell to your feet completely betraying your better judgement. Once there was nothing left between you, Spencer pushed himself in closer so that you were now standing chest to chest. Completely melting into one another.

Your instincts were to push him away and tell him to stop. Tell him if what didn't happen last week was wrong then this definitely was too. Instead your fingers tangled in his perfectly messy hair, tugging slightly at the roots. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered harder with each passing second.

Spencer bit your bottom lip causing your mouth to part. His tongue slid inside within an exchange of breaths and attached itself to yours. His hands still holding your face, thumbs gently caressing your flushed pink cheeks.

Without warning, past memories of the two of you in this very position flooded your mind. Spencer and you kissing for the first time outside your old apartment door. Sharing soft comforting moments after particularly tough cases. Leaning across the dinner table at a restaurant, the flickering light reflecting in Spencer’s eyes. In the middle of the street, under the street lamps, as if you were the only people left in the world.

The overpowering euphoria you felt just seconds ago passed and was immediately replaced by guilt.

Both of you pulled away breathless.

“This- I- we- I can’t. I’m sorry.” You blurted out, freeing yourself from his embrace.

The words were painful to say and even more agonising for Spencer to hear. His nose twitched, and his eyes glossed over with tears. However, he didn't protest. He nodded his head in understanding and swallowed his breath.

“Treat it as a goodbye kiss.” Spencer rationalised. “Now, there is nothing holding you back from your happy ever after.”

His lips formed into a thin half-smile before he began to clean up the files currently scattered over the floor.

You opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. What could you have said? That now there was something holding you back?

You chewed on your lip and wiped the single tear from the corner of your eye before joining him in complete silence.

It was better to leave it alone. Yet another memory - right?

(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made For sayin' things that you can't say tomorrow day

-

A/N: hello friends! i hope you liked this chapter (not a fan of cheating so this was a little hard for me to write but THEY FINALLY KISSED AH !! i’d love to hear your feedback and as always if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne​, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​

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[pregnant-piggy]

Snow

Remus Lupin x reader      part of the dad!marauders series

Words: 6.5k

A/N: this is the most fluffy thing i have ever written. I am so happy with this. Also, re-introducing Olivia in this fic, whom we have seen before in Butterflies. She’s back because i absolutely love her and y’know for the sake of the story... Anyway, I hope you like it! Comments much appreciated! Love ya

Dinner was silent without you. The table set for two instead of three made the air in the room miss some of that cosiness you always brought along. The small light from the lamp over the dining table was reflected on the silver forks and knives that lied on the table. Two glasses with water stood next to the white plates, waiting to be emptied.

You were gone for the weekend with your mother. Your father had gotten sick a few months ago and now he was finally better, you had wanted your mother to be able to take her mind off things. You had taken her to a spa, something she always enjoyed.

This morning you had left and Olivia had been in a sad mood ever since you had stepped foot out the door. Though she went to play and acted like everything was fine, Remus could see that she wasn’t really. He was surprised with how well she could keep up that happy mask; she was only four years old after all.

Olivia sat in her own chair, that her grandpa had made specially for her. She stared at the back of her dad in the kitchen, her eyes focused on his shoulders and the way they moved to the music he had put on. She played with the stuffed wolf in her hand, the animal that had been with her since she was one year old. The colours had faded lightly in the past three years as if it had lied in the sun for a while. The grey was no longer the dark grey it used to be and the softness was now gone. But Olivia had it with her at all times.

‘Five more minutes, darling,’ Remus said and he sat down at the table in front of his daughter.

Olivia continued to play with her wolf and Remus felt a familiar, warm feeling spreading in his body. You had given the stuffed animal to her on her first birthday. Though your daughter didn’t know the real reason behind the gift, Remus did and his heart softened every time he saw Olivia play with it.

The oven pinged and Remus shot up from his chair. He was hungry; he had worked later than usual forgetting that you weren’t around to remind him to make dinner. It had been Olivia who had opened the door of his library and asked him when dinner was going to be ready.

A frozen pizza, that Remus had found at the bottom of the freezer, had been put in the oven quickly.

Olivia was quiet during dinner. She stared at her plate and picked the mushrooms of her pizza with her little fingers. The little ring that used to be yours glimmered in the light. She always wore that even when she was asleep. Sometimes Remus worried that it could hurt her in her sleep, but you always reassured him that nothing could happen.

‘Don’t you like the pizza?’ Remus asked carefully, knowing the littlest thing could upset his daughter; something she had gotten from you.

‘I do,’ Olivia sighed and dropped her slice of pizza on her plate.

‘What’s wrong, baby?’

‘I miss mommy,’ Olivia said, her voice soft and the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Remus got up from his chair and kneeled down next to Olivia. He put both his arms around her and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder. His big hand rubbed her warm back and he felt a few tears through his shirt.

‘Oh, Liv,’ Remus spoke softly. ‘Mommy will be home Sunday. Don’t you want to tell her how much fun you have had with daddy?’

Olivia snuffed into Remus’ shoulder and nodded. She lifted her head from his neck and looked at him. He wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs and placed a kiss on her forehead, like he used to do to you when you were sad. Olivia smiled and she turned back to her plate, eating the pizza with a small grin, while she talked to the stuffed animal that sat next to her on a chair.

Remus sat back in his chair and watched his daughter. She truly was the light in his life. He could not imagine a life without her, without her bubbly presence and her cute smiles or her giggles.

The rest of the night Olivia wasn’t sad anymore. It was Friday night so that meant that she could stay up a little later than usual. While she sat in Remus’ lap, her eyes were glued to the TV. A lousy talent show played on the screen, while Remus read his book and tried to answer Olivia’s questions at the same time.

It was nice to have some alone time with his daughter. Though it happened enough that he was alone with her, it rarely was a whole weekend. Usually it was you who was alone with Olivia, whenever Remus was away at the full moon.

Remus knew Olivia’s personality through and through; he had had years of practice with you. Your daughter was the exact copy of you to Remus. She had Remus’ eyes and hair, but the rest of her was just like you. The same nose, the same lips and the same way you smacked them when you didn’t like something. You both could act crazy in the same way and Olivia’s laugh was the same as yours.

‘Daddy?’ Olivia asked and Remus looked up from his book. Olivia had turned around between his legs and was looking at him with her big eyes. ‘What are you reading?’

Remus opened his arm so Olivia could rest against his chest and started to talk about the book he was reading, glad that it wasn’t such a complicated book. Olivia listened with interest and asked more questions. You always said that Olivia was just as a nerd as Remus and though Remus always debated the term ‘nerd’, he knew that you were right. His daughter was a smart little girl and she was interested in a great deal of things.

It wasn’t until Olivia yawned that Remus realised how late it was. He quickly closed his book and placed it on the couch while he took Olivia in his arms. He walked with her through the cold hallway and up the stairs, wondering why it was suddenly so cold.

While Olivia attempted to brush her own teeth, Remus looked for her pyjamas. He found them on her pillow neatly folded and a little note from you with a heart on it on top of them. He took the clothes and placed the note back on the pillow. With the pyjamas in his arms he walked to the bathroom, where he found Olivia on the floor with her toothbrush in her mouth, while she brushed the mouth of her stuffed wolf with another toothbrush, luckily without toothpaste.

Remus chuckled and sat down next to her. He took her small face on one hand and asked her to open her mouth so he could brush her teeth with the other hand. Olivia sang the how to brush your teeth song and Remus laughed when she accidentally bit on the toothbrush.

When he was done he helped her rinse her mouth and then he helped her into her pyjamas. Olivia shivered when her warm sweater was pulled over her head and she was left in her underwear. She crossed her arms over her body and Remus didn’t fail to notice the goose bumps all over her skin. He quickly warmed the pyjamas with a quick wave of his wand and Olivia stared at the wooden stick with her big eyes. Magic wasn’t new to her at all, you and Remus had both agreed to let your daughter get used to it while also fitting in with the muggle world, but every time she saw it her eyes lit up. She seemed to have forgotten about the cold as she asked Remus to do something.

‘Do the bubbles!’ she exclaimed and she clapped her hands in excitement as Remus casted bubbles to fly around in the small bathroom.

Once Olivia lied in bed and Remus had read her a bedtime story, she closed her eyes and fell asleep promptly. It had been a long day for her; this morning she had woken up early and it was late at night now.

Remus pressed a kiss to her head and tucked her in once again, making sure she would not get cold. Not that it would help, his daughter turned so much in her sleep that it was inevitable that the sheets would lose their embrace around her.

- - - - -

The cold night even reached to Remus when he lied in bed. He had his sweater on and even woollen socks, but his toes were still cold and he couldn't suppress a shiver every time he moved under the duvet. He couldn’t fall asleep. He didn’t know that was because it was cold or because you weren’t next to him. He had gotten so used to falling asleep with your arms around him, that it was hard to do so when you weren’t around. No matter how tired he was, he just couldn’t catch any sleep.

So instead he just lied with his eyes closed in his bed, the sheets pulled up to under his chin. It had been cold this winter, but not this cold yet. With a little luck there would maybe even be some snow tomorrow. Then he would have something to do with Olivia.

The little girl loved the snow. It didn’t happen very often that there was snow, the last time had been last year and then it was only for two days. It might have been the happiest days of Olivia’s winter. The big smile that was on her face, Remus could clearly remember.

He didn’t when he had started to drift off, but he was woken roughly by a tug on his duvet. He turned his head to see what was going on and he was faced with Olivia’s teared eyes. Immediately he sat up in his bed and pulled his daughter against his chest. She sobbed lightly in his sweater. He wrapped his arms around her and hid her cold feet under the blanket after feeling they were like ice.

‘What is wrong, love?’ Remus whispered as he placed a kiss on the top of Olivia’s head.

‘I miss mommy so bad,’ she said with a trembling voice and she hugged her wolf closer to her little chest. ‘And I’m cold.’

‘Oh, sweetheart,’ Remus mumbled. He lied back down and placed Olivia next to him. He pulled the sheets up to her chin and he wrapped his arm around her. She crawled closer to his chest and lied her head next to him on his pillow.

They lied in silence for a while, the only sound the soft sobs of Olivia, that calmed down more and more. Remus wiped away the tears from her face and rubbed her back, hoping to warm her up a little. He felt the fatigue taking over him, but he had to stay awake at least until Olivia had fallen asleep.

But Olivia did not seem to have any plans to fall asleep soon. She stared with her big eyes at Remus, who had more trouble to keep his eyes open with the minute.

‘Go to sleep, Liv,’ he mumbled and stroke his big hand over her face so she would close her eyes.

But she opened them again and now started to play with the neck of Remus’ sweater. Her little fingers ran up and down over the hem and tucked on it ever so often. Remus chuckled lightly and took her hand in his. She looked up to him and he closed his eyes for a second.

‘Close your eyes, love,’ Remus tried again and now Olivia closed her eyes, but she opened one slightly and looked at Remus. A giggle escaped her mouth as Remus sighed and shook his head. ‘Come on, Olivia! If you go to sleep now we can play in the snow tomorrow.’

Remus had said the magic words. Olivia’s eyes widened and she stared at Remus.

‘Snow? Is there snow?’ she asked excitedly.

‘There will be if you go to sleep now,’ Remus said placing a kiss on Olivia’s forehead.

She closed her eyes and soon she drifted off to sleep. Her steady breaths filled the cold bedroom and Remus finally let the sleep take over him. He knew he should carry Olivia to her own bed, but he was too tired to do so. So instead he fell asleep with his daughter hugging onto his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she dreamt of the snow.

- - - - -

As the morning sun shone through the crack between the curtains, Remus woke up with two small hands hugging his waist. He carefully removed the two hands and placed them on the stuffed wolf that lied at Olivia’s feet. He lifted the duvet a little, enough so he could slip from it and tucked it around his daughter’s small figure. He walked out of the bedroom and went to the kitchen, hoping that pancakes would make Olivia forget that her mother wasn’t around.

Soft music played through the kitchen as Remus began to make the pancakes. He was stirring the bowl when he heard soft footsteps into the kitchen. He turned around and smiled at Olivia, who stood in the doorframe clinging onto her stuffed wolf as she watched Remus with her big eyes. She slowly made her way over to her chair and as she climbed into it and dropped the wolf, she sighed dramatically. Remus couldn’t keep from chuckling, but quickly turned around and stopped as she saw the glare his daughter was giving him.

‘Do you want pancakes, Liv?’ Remus asked over his shoulder when Olivia had climbed into her chair.

Remus couldn’t see her face, since he was still bowed over the kitchen counter with his back to his daughter, but when she spoke he heard that there was a small smile on her pretty face.

‘Yes, daddy.’

Olivia climbed off her chair and ran towards Remus, hugging her arms around his legs. Remus had to hold onto the counter to not fall over at the sudden weight and he laughed softly, stroking his hand over Olivia’s head. She looked up to him with her big golden eyes and her precious smile. The smile that could make Remus do anything.

‘Here,’ Remus said and he gave to plates to Olivia. ‘Bring these to the table, while I make the pancakes.’

Olivia wobbled on her feet under the weight of the heavy plates. She placed the plates, what was for her, carefully on the table and then returned to Remus for a next task. Keeping one eye on the pancakes in the pan and the other on Olivia as she was setting the table, breakfast was soon finished.

Olivia was sitting in her chair, her knife and fork in her hands and the wolf on the chair next to her, like it had been at dinner last night. She was talking enthusiastically to it as Remus placed a platter with pancakes in between them. Olivia stopped talking as the scent of food reached her nose and a big smile appeared on her sleepy face when she saw the pancakes.

‘What do you want to do today?’ Remus asked in between bites.

‘Play in the snow!’ Olivia exclaimed and she looked over her shoulder through the window.

It had indeed snowed last night, just as Remus had thought. The street was hidden under a blanket of snow and the light blue sky that stretched out over the neighbour houses, made it seem like a little fairy tale and not the street they were living in. The edges of the window were frozen, little ice crystals making their way up to the middle of the glass.

Olivia kept staring outside, the piece of pancake on her fork staying in front of her mouth. She watched the old man that lived two houses away walk through the snow with his dog. The small animal jumped in the snow, barking happily when his legs disappeared in the snow. Olivia laughed happily and only turned back when the dog and owner had disappeared. Her pancakes had turned cold, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She wolfed the rest of her breakfast in and then looked up to her dad.

‘Done,’ she said, with her mouth full of food. She went to grab her glass with orange juice, while Remus took the last pancake on the plate. Olivia chewed fast on the pancake in her mouth, her hands clasped around the glass. She swallowed her last bite and drank her juice quickly.

‘Not too fast, you’ll get stomach ache,’ Remus said, looking at how the orange juice rapidly disappeared in his daughter’s mouth.

‘No, I won’t,’ Olivia said with her mouth still in her glass, shaking her head.

Remus sighed; he would never win this battle. Olivia was just as stubborn as you, though you always said that she had that from Remus. Maybe that said enough.

Olivia placed her glass back on the table and looked at Remus. He chuckled at the juice-moustache that had formed above her upper lip and reached over the table to wipe it away with his thumb.

‘Why don’t you pick out clothes, while daddy cleans up?’ Remus said, licking the orange juice off his finger.

Olivia fled quickly from the kitchen and Remus heard her stamping on the stairs. He collected the plates and glasses and put them in the sink, doubting whether he should do the dishes now or later. Later would be fine, he decided and left the kitchen, following his daughter’s tracks on the stairs.

- - - - -

‘Daddy look what I can do!’

Remus looked up from the bench at the front door. Olivia and him had gone outside now two hours ago and while Remus was more than done with the cold, he didn’t want to cut the fun Olivia was having. Remus hadn’t seen her this exited in a while and it warmed his heart to see his daughter with such a big smile on her face. She was jumping up and down, making snow angels in the snow and with the help of Remus she had made a snowman, who currently stood watching Olivia collect snow with her small hands and throw little snowballs at the tree in the front yard.

‘Good job!’ Remus said and he waved at Olivia as she hit the tree with her snowball.

Remus’ hands slowly had lost any feeling and the same was about to happen to his feet. He was sitting in his thickest coat on the wooden bench near the front door, a book in his hand that was long forgotten as he had noticed that Olivia was quite clumsy when it came to snow. She had fallen at least twelve times now and though it wasn’t like she had hurt herself, Remus was worried that one time she would. Besides, his fingers were too cold to even turn the pages.

After another half hour Remus thought that it had been enough. With any luck the snow would still be there tomorrow and then Olivia could play outside again. But right now Remus felt like he was made of ice and he knew that Olivia was cold too; in the small minutes that she had come to Remus to tell him something he had seen that her cheeks were getting more red and her lips more purple.

She didn’t even complain when Remus suggested they went inside for lunch and hot chocolate. She followed him back inside the warm house and sighed when the door was closed.

‘What is the matter?’ Remus asked as he took off his coat and then helped Olivia with hers.

‘Who is watching Mr. Snowman now?’ she pouted as Remus unzipped her dark blue winter coat.

‘Maybe you can look at him from the window in the living room,’ Remus said as he took of her mittens. Olivia jumped and nearly hit Remus in his face with her hands. He chuckled and bowed forward so she could lean on him while he took off her boots. Her cold hand grabbed the fabric on Remus’ sweater and the other was placed on his head when she lost her balance.

‘Left foot,’ Remus said and Olivia lifted her foot. He took off the boot and sock, that was completely wet. ‘Right foot.’ The other foot followed and the same happened. The bottom of Olivia’s leggings was wet too and Remus ordered her to take them off.

‘I’ll get you warm, dry clothes,’ he said, pulling a weird face as he smelled the sock, making Olivia laugh. ‘You go into the living room and see if Mr. Snowman is still there.’

Olivia ran off to the living room in her pink underwear and sweater and Remus quickly returned with warm pants and two different socks. Olivia was stuck at the window, her eyes focused on the snowman outside and she waved at it as if to say goodbye when Remus walked into the room.

‘I don’t know what mommy does with your socks, but I can’t find two the same,’ Remus sighed and he sat down next to Olivia on the couch. ‘Elephant on right or left?’

The girl put out her right foot and Remus put the sock on. The sock with the giraffe followed on her other foot and when the pants were put on Olivia ran back to the window, this time taking her wolf with her. Remus watched his daughter talk to her stuffed animal and admired how happy she looked. He never could have imagined to have a wife that loved him unconditionally let alone a daughter that was just as dear to him. Sometimes he wondered why he deserved it all, how could someone like him have such a happy bubble around him?

‘Do you want hot chocolate?’ Remus asked and Olivia turned around and cheered as she ran to the kitchen.

Remus followed her quickly and was surprised to find Olivia looking in the right cabinet. As she pulled out the cocoa and stood on her toes to place it on the counter, she started to babble to Remus about how you always made hot chocolate on the nights Remus was away.

- - - - -

The afternoon was filled with merry. Olivia played on her own for a while, until she wanted to know what Remus was reading. He took her in his lap and together they read a for a while. Though Olivia didn’t quite understood what the book was about, her reading was definitely improving.

Though Olivia would go to Hogwarts when she was older, Remus and you had wanted her to learn the basics, just like you two had done. You as a muggleborn and Remus as half-blood had both enjoyed the education of primary school. You wanted the same for your daughter. She was keen to learn and home school was discussed, but both you and Remus had a job and the option of going to a muggle school seemed the easier option. Plus, in that way Olivia could make friends better than when she was at home all day.

She was only four and would turn five in May, so she would not go to school until after the upcoming summer, but Remus had taken the job to teach her how to read. Luckily Olivia was a smart student and the reading went easily on her. It wasn’t much that she knew, she was yet so young, but Remus thought that every little bit would help her. And so, once a day, mostly before bed, he would read with her. It didn’t have to be long, just a page of her favourite book was enough.

After the reading, Olivia watched a film while Remus concentrated on the newspapers of this day, for which he hadn’t got the time to read yet. He was deep in an article about Gringotts new policy, when the phone ringed. Olivia was so concentrated on the talking bees from the movie that she didn’t hear it.

‘Remus here,’ Remus said and he walked to the kitchen, not wanting to disturb his daughter.

‘Hey Rem!’ your voice sounded back and Remus smiled.

‘Hey love. How is it going? Are you having fun?’

‘So much. Mom and I went to get massages this morning and we did face masks this afternoon. Oh, it is so nice here, Rem. We even have access to mimosas throughout the whole day!’ you giggled.

In the background Remus could hear your mother giggle along with you and he sniffed happily in the phone. ‘How many did you have?’

‘Just a couple,’ you said back, Remus hearing by your voice that it was definitely more than a couple. ‘How is it going at home? I heard it snowed.’

‘It did,’ Remus answered. ‘I spent the entire morning outside with Olivia and now she is watching a film. She did miss you last night, however.’

‘I miss her too. And you. I couldn’t sleep last night, though the mimosas did help a bit.’

‘I couldn’t sleep either. But we’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t worry about us, we are having fun, love,’ Remus said and he looked up when Olivia entered the kitchen. She stood hesitantly at in the doorway, her small hand resting on the door frame.

‘Who is that?’ she asked curious and tilted her head a little.

‘It’s mommy,’ Remus answered. ‘Do you want to talk to her?’

‘Mommy!’ Olivia yelled and she ran over to the phone. Remus put Olivia on the chair with the phone in her hand and then turned to the kitchen to make dinner. He listened to Olivia talk about the snowman she had made and the snowballs she had thrown at the tree.

After a while, Olivia gave the phone back to Remus after giving kisses to it. She ran back to the living room, probably to continue her film. Remus took back the phone and pressed it between his ear and his shoulder.

‘She seems to be having fun,’ you said and Remus could hear your smile through the phone.

‘I know that it isn’t how our weekends usually go, but she missed you and I couldn’t stand to see her sad.’

‘Don’t worry, dear, it’s fine.’

‘Listen, I have to finish dinner and you have to get back to your mom,’ Remus said and he put down the knife so he could take the phone in his hand. ‘I will see you tomorrow, don’t rush.’

‘Okay, I love you,’ you said.

‘I love you too.’

- - - - -

Olivia stood on a stool at the sink in the bathroom, watching herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. Remus stood behind her, brushing her wet hair. He had taken her in bath, hoping it would tire her a bit so she would fall asleep fast. And when he looked at her and saw her tired eyes, he realised that it had helped.

He put the brush aside and helped her brushing her teeth. She opened her mouth, but it closed more and more the longer it took and Remus had to ask her to open her mouth every time. She giggled when Remus reached the back of her mouth and the toothbrush tickled the back of her tongue. Her eyes squeezed shut and stayed there more a moment before she opened them again. Remus took the brush from her mouth and declared that it was enough for now.

In her room, Remus helped her into her warmest pyjamas, hoping that this time she wouldn’t wake up from the cold. In her pink with crocodiles pyjamas, Olivia pressed a wet kiss to Remus’ cheek and then lied down in her bed. He tucked her in tightly and her eyes closed as soon as the blankets were put over her. Remus brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her softly on her forehead. Olivia’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled at her father.

‘I love you, daddy,’ she mumbled.

‘I love you too, sweetheart,’ Remus whispered back.

Olivia put out her arms to take Remus in a hug and he leaned forward, his knees on the floor. Olivia’s small arms were wrapped around his neck and he felt her hot breath on his neck. He pulled back and placed a quick kiss on her nose. She giggled at the feeling and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Remus brushed his hand through her hair one more time and smiled at his daughter.

‘Goodnight, Olivia.’

Olivia closed her eyes and Remus left her room, keeping the door ajar so he could hear when she called for him. He went downstairs and looked at the mess in the living room. The worst part was that it was mostly his mess. Olivia had put her toys away in her toy box in the corner of the room. It was Remus’ mess that made the room look terrible. Two coffee mugs on the table, next to a few parchments and a book. On the couch lied the newspapers that he still hadn’t finished and pair of socks. The TV was still on and a dim light flickered into the room. On the desk in the corner of the room, was an even bigger mess. But Remus’ workspace was always a mess and no matter how often you asked him to clean it, he never did, knowing that it would be the same mess the minute he would start working.

So instead of being bothered by his desk, Remus cleared out the coffee table, turned off the TV and took his newspaper. He reread the article about Gringotts, since he had already forgotten what it was about, and realised that the rest of the paper was rather a lack of information.

Remus sat down at his desk, hoping to maybe get some work done. But his paper stayed empty, his mind was too tired to come up with a review now. The book he had to review lied in front of him and Remus studied the cover.

After fifteen minutes he gave up and placed himself with a cup of tea on the couch, zapping through the channels. He found a film and soon was involved in a plot of a murder, flight and criminals. The sounds of fighting sounded through the living room as Remus’ eyes were glued to the TV. Though Remus wasn’t a particular big fan of thriller movies, sometimes he could enjoy them. It was a hour or two of not thinking and just watching.

It was past midnight when the film finished with the ‘good guy’ killing the ‘bad guy’. Since the ‘bad guy’ only had killed one man, Remus wondered how good the ‘good guy’ was. He turned off the TV, turned down the lights and went upstairs.

He checked Olivia’s room and found his daughter fast asleep, her stuffed wolf in her hand and her hair around her like a halo. This was one of Remus’ favourite views. There was something so peaceful and innocent about his daughter in her sleep. It reminded him of you, the way she grabbed onto the sheets and the pucker on her lips.

Soon Remus lied in his own bed, looking through the crack between the curtains at the dark sky. It was clouded; the dark grey clouds hid the dark blue sky filled with stars. This was Remus favourite time of the month. The full moon had been two weeks ago, meaning he had yet two weeks before the next one would come. It also meant that at this moment there was no moon at all in the sky and something about that thought comforted Remus.

With his mind running off to the dark blue heavens, Remus fell asleep quickly, not bothered by the cold or your absence this night.

- - - - -

Sunday morning was spent in Remus’ bed. Olivia had crawled into your spot and she talked with her dad about what she had dreamt. Then she proceeded to wonder about Mr. Snowman and how he had slept. Remus chuckled as the listened to his daughter’s imaginary stories and closed his eyes for a moment.

‘Daddy, you’re not listening!’ Olivia cried out and she dropped her body on Remus’ chest to get him to open his eyes.

‘I am, Olivia, I am!’ he sputtered and he pushed Olivia off him.

‘Why were your eyes closed?’

‘I can listen and close my eyes at the same time,’ Remus defended himself.

Olivia sat cross-legged on the bed and shook her head with a serious look on her face. ‘Mommy says that when you close your eyes you’re not listening.’

Remus raised his eyebrow at his daughter and then burst out into laughter. He took Olivia in his arms and peppered her face with kisses. She started to giggle and tried to free herself from his grip. She squirmed in his arms and after a while Remus lessened his grip and she crawled away from him. Panting and laughing she sat at your pillow, staring at Remus with sparkly eyes.

‘Did it snow?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Remus answered; he hadn’t left his bed yet.

‘Can’t you look?’

‘I can look, but so can you.’

‘But I’m too small!’ Olivia exclaimed and a smirk crossed on her face.

Remus shook his head chuckling and he pulled the sheets of his body. Immediately the cold found its way to his warm body and he shivered. Quickly he put on his sweatpants and a different sweater. He helped Olivia off the bed and lifter her on his hip. She pulled the curtains aside and looked outside.

‘Snow!’ she exclaimed happily when she saw the white backyard. She pressed her nose to the glass and looked at the snow.

Remus put her down again and she ran to her room, taking the same clothes as yesterday and throwing them on Remus’ bed. She pulled her pyjamas over her head and struggled to put the sweater on herself. Remus sat down on his knees in front of her and guided her head through the hole. An enthusiastic head popped out from the neck of the sweater and Remus laughed before pressing a kiss to Olivia’s forehead.

‘Can I play outside? Please?’ she asked.

‘You can, but first we need to eat breakfast, darling,’ Remus said as he helped Olivia into her leggings.

She didn’t waste a minute and as soon as her sock were on, she rushed downstairs to the kitchen. Remus followed her and found her in the kitchen with the box of cereal in her hands. He took it from her and placed it on the table.

‘Go sit down.’

Olivia followed his order and sat down in her chair, for once haven forgotten her stuffed animal. She waited patiently for Remus to put down two bowls and give her a spoon. He put the cereal in her bowl and the milk followed after. She dove into her breakfast and spilled some milk on the table in doing so. Remus cleaned it with a flick of his wand and Olivia looked amazed at the now clean spot.

After breakfast Olivia ran outside and Remus had to call her back to put on her coat and mittens. As he zipped up the coat while Olivia was jumping up and down in her excitement to go outside, he said: ‘I am going to do the dishes, will you be careful?’

Olivia nodded and captured her dad’s mouth with a quick kiss before she hurried outside. Remus stood in the door and watched for a moment as Olivia started to dance around the snowman. After making sure nothing could happen to her, Remus turned back inside and put on the kettle as he charmed the dishes to do themselves. He glanced at today’s newspaper and then decided to take it outside.

With his tea in one hand and the newspaper under his arm, Remus sat down on the bench again, making a promise with himself not to stay out so long as yesterday. But his promise was soon forgotten as he watched Olivia play. He charmed his tea to stay warm so his fingers wouldn’t freeze this time.

Time passed quickly. Olivia was making snow angels in the snow and decorating them with things she found in the garden and Remus was reading the newspaper, that just like yesterday, had not much in it. His attention was pulled away from an article about illegal transport across the Atlantic Ocean by a creak of the fence. He looked up and was surprised to see you.

‘Mommy!’ Olivia cheered when she noticed her mother. She got up from her spot, where she had been on her knees drawing faces in her snow angel, and jumped in your arms. You dropped your bag and caught Olivia.

‘Liv, be careful with your mom,’ Remus said as he came closer.

You shifted Olivia over to the side and kissed Remus. He took your bag and brought you inside. Olivia was talking happily about what she had done this weekend and didn’t stop when you put her down and took off your coat.

‘Come on, darling, give mommy some time,’ Remus chuckled as he took of Olivia’s coat. ‘Why don’t you go to the kitchen and grab the things we need for the hot chocolate?’

Olivia smiled and ran to the kitchen, nearly slipping on her wet socks. Remus hung up her coat and then turned to you. He wrapped arms around you and you buried your face in his sweater.

‘I didn’t expect you so early,’ Remus said as you pulled away and took off your shoes.

‘It was this train or one later at night and actually we were both a bit done at the spa. So we decided to take the early train. I dropped mom off at home,’ you said as you walked with Remus to the kitchen.

There you found Olivia proudly standing in front of the counter. She had the cocoa in her hands and was waiting for Remus to help her. He lifted her and placed her on the counter. Together they made the hot cocoa while you sat at the dining table and talked about your trip.

When the hot chocolate was done and all three of you were sitting at the table, Olivia continued to talk about her weekend. Remus smiled at her and nodded along. He looked at you and you glanced back with a smile on your face. It was good to be home.

- - - - - 

taglists:

dad!marauders: @wassup-peoples​ @iamak20​

Remus: @racerparker @susceptible-but-siriusexual

marauders: @secretsthathauntus @ronniethelost @sognatrice-as-a-hobby @hxrgreeves @wecouldbreakthedistance @valentina-007

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @bloodblossom73 @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites @ananad1

let me know if you want to be added/removed!

MASTERLIST