#maybe when I finish the course i'm taking

[55szn]

lacy - mv1

max verstappen x fem!driver!reader

summary yn can't keep hiding her true feelings towards max

wc 1,6 k (i was supposed to keep it short for this one but oh well)

warnings this one angsty as fuuuck, reader kinda sucks sorry

a/n first post of this series omg i'm so excited!!!!!! i haven't written in a while so this may not be the best of my works but this is still one of my favorites <33 also english is not my first language so...yeah

YN sighed as she pulled the balaclava off and immediately ran her hand through her sweaty hair, attempting to make it look decent. Once again she was finishing behind Max. The Dutch looked back at her as he got down from the top of his car and gave her a sweet smile, she tried her best to reciprocate that smile but it probably looked as fake as it felt.

She couldn't really pinpoint when her rotten mind had started to harbor these feelings towards the man she loved.

YN's first encounter with Max occurred when they were barely teenagers, amid the noisy circuits of karting competitions. There was something captivating in that lanky and slightly awkward teenager that drew YN to him like a magnet. As time went on, their bond deepened, among endless talks of shared dreams that seemed unreachable at the time.

The first time Max kissed YN, she felt in heaven, enveloped in a kind of excitement she had never known. It didn't take long before he asked her to be his girlfriend and she accepted thinking life couldn't get better than that.

The mutual decision to keep their relationship under wraps seemed obvious, a conscious choice made as they started their parallel journeys into Formula 1, that was not the kind of attention they were seeking.

She felt true happiness for Max's overwhelming success, she truly did, at least at the beginning.

But YN found herself caught in the shadow of his success, a place she hadn't anticipated occupying. Eventually every podium celebration and victory lap, served as a bitter reminder of the expectations she was failing to meet. She couldn't acknowledge these feelings so she masked this resentment beneath a facade of congratulatory smiles and kisses. The press was no help. They endlessly compared their careers and although YN had managed to get some satisfying results, she was nowhere near Max's level. They ate it up, it gave them good headlines to pit them against the other. They were the embodiment of a tantalizing narrative – two very young drivers with great success in the lower categories, shared dreams and a seemingly unbreakable "friendship", both coming into F1 with good teams and high expectations but only one of them was reaching those expectations. It was a good story, sure. But the story was tearing YN apart.

Perhaps the tipping point arrived with a very specific headline, its words forever etched into her brain: "Max Verstappen: Vettel reincarnate." With each syllable, YN's throat constricted, her stomach twisting into knots. Max seemed to effortlessly get everything she ever yearned for, now he was getting put at the same level as her biggest idol and inspiration which proved to be too much to handle for her. And with each of his accomplishments the poisonous seed of envy took root within her heart.

It was so contradictory, when she finally admitted it to herself. She loved Max more than she loved herself and maybe that was the root of the problem, her own insecurities and bruised ego. But it was becoming impossible to fake a smile every time she saw him on that top step. She knew it wasn't true but she almost felt like Max was out to get her.

She hated Max. And she hated herself for that fact. How could one harbor so much love and hatred for someone at the same time?

She was loosing her mind, her fragile facade crumbling under the weight of her emotions. Of course the ever attentive eyes of the press and the fans noticed the way her once adoring glances towards Max were now replaced with icy stares. How she couldn't even make the effort to raise the corners of her mouth whenever Max complimented her skills or her racing. His tenders words of admiration which once felt like a warm summer breeze began to feel like bullets grazing her already wounded skin, they felt like mockery. It was only a matter of time until Max started noticing this too.

Something was clearly happening, and that's why he found himself knocking on her apartment's door late at night, the echoes of the particularly hard weekend YN had endured still reverberating through his mind. The bitter taste of failure and disappointment still lingered on her lips. YN had struggled with the car and couldn't even make it out of Q3, and Sunday's race offered little reprieve, finishing in a P11 that tasted of unfulfilled expectations. While, of course, Max had made a brilliant pole position and had won the race, once again making everyone worship the ground he walked on. He hadn't seen YN since the race finished. She flew back to Mónaco that same night without even letting him know and without even asking if he wanted to fly back with her, which was the case almost every weekend. Max wasn't stupid, he could tell something was up with her lately, the distance she was putting between them, he was loosing her. And he loved her too much to let her go without a fight.

The door creaked open, YN's figure against the dim lighting within. Her jealous eyes clouded with heavy feelings. She stepped aside wordlessly, allowing Max to enter, her silence was louder that any word could ever be.

He carefully walked in, the all too familiar environment of his girlfriend's apartment suddenly feeling cold and foreign. Max was tense before taking a seat on the armrest of her couch. His heart felt heavy, he already wanted to cry. He had trouble getting the words out, something that had never happened in the years he had known YN. What had they become?

He swallowed dry before finally finding his voice. "I think we need to have a talk." His gaze was pleading for her to meet his eyes, but she kept staring at her shoes.

She froze at his words and her fingers tightened around the edge of the table she was leaning against. She could tell this conversation was coming, yet she dreaded the flood of emotions threatening to consume her, scared of the things she could say.

"What is it, Max?" Her voice was strained, an inner battle developing inside her, trying to control her emotions.

"You know what it is about, schat." Her jaw tightened at the pet name, now it somehow sounded condescending, even though deep down she knew that wasn't true. "YN something's been bothering you lately. I know it. Please talk to me."

YN's heart clenched painfully at his words, her resolve crumbling under the weight of her own inner turmoil. How could she even begin to articulate the burning envy and resentment that coursed through her veins every time she looked at him? How could she admit out loud to hating the man she loved more than life itself?

When she finally looked up and met his stare she felt the monstrous feeling that had been gnawing at her conscience completely engulf her and she wasn't in control of her own words anymore. Her eyes burning with a contradictory mix of longing and loathing. "Are you seriously asking me that, Max?" Her voice trembled with suppressed emotion.

Max recoiled at the intensity of her stare and her tone, a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach by the anticipatory feeling of his world crumbling down completely. "YN, I..."

"You know damn well what's going on." YN's voice cracked with emotion, her words laced with a bitterness that made it unrecognizable to both of them. "You have everything, Max. The wins, the championships, the adoration of the whole fucking world. Everything I ever wanted, you took it for yourself." She knew she wasn't making sense, the words were spilling out of her mouth before she had the time to catch them.

Max's heart constricted with an unfair amount of guilt. "YN, I... I had no idea you felt this way."

"And why would you?" She retorted, her voice rising with each word. "You're too busy basking in your own glory to notice how much it's killing me to be constantly compared to you." That wasn't his fault, and she knew it. It was the pure and evil hatred that consumed her that was speaking those words.

He felt like he had been punched in the gut. "I'm sorry." He shouldn't have to apologize for what he accomplished after years and years of hard work, yet he did, the fear of loosing her bigger than the need to acknowledge his self worth.

The hurt mirroring in his eyes was obvious, her tone softened before she spoke again. "You don't have to apologize, Max. You deserve it, you deserve it so much. I know that and you should too." She took a sharp breath in. "But knowing that doesn't change how I feel. I...I hate you."

He looked at her, stunned. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Her words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of their meaning.

"I do. I hate you Max. I hate you for being able to get everything I've only ever dared to dream of." She couldn't believe she was admitting it to Max's face, breaking the heart of the man she claimed to love.

Max felt as though the ground had been ripped out from under him, the sting of her words cutting deeper than any wound ever could. "I can't believe you're saying this," he mumbled, his voice chocked.

"I wish I didn't have to Max but I can't bear to keep lying to your face. I wish I could just pretend like everything's okay, like I'm still happy for you. But I can't, I'm sorry." YN's voice cracked with the weight of her confession, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked at him with a strange mix of love and loathing. "I love you too much to keep lying to you."

The silence was sepulcral, years and years of shared moments full of love completely destroyed by the sick envy that had infected YN.

But the truth is, their love was doomed from the beginning.

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XIV

Pairing: Alastor x Female! Reader

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Hello my dears. This chapter is a bit shorter. I'm not very satisfied with it but next chapter would be better. Please enjoy this chapter and share your thoughts. TW: Slight racism.

You were cooking with your mother,Alice and Alyzée trying a new dish you were having trouble to make but ended up succeeding it. Of course, you were talking about your future wedding. Alastor has come to your father and mother, days ago, explaining how he wanted to marry you as you were the only one he esteemed to be by his side, that he would make you happy and you wouldn’t need to worry about money. 

Your mother has been supportive since the beginning of your friendship with Alastor and your father, even though he wasn’t happy about letting his little girl go, was relieved that the man you would wed was Alastor. They both shook each other’s hand with confidence. You were so happy.

“ Dearly listeners, for your entertainment it’s my pleasure to introduce you to our latest arrival, our new radio host, Alastor!”

“ Hello, it’s nice to meet you!”

It was Alastor's voice. Alastor was on the radio. You turned up the volume screaming at your mother and Alice to stop yelling even though you were the one making the most noises. 

Alastor's voice was coming through the radio.

Alastor was on the radio !

You listened, not even caring about greeting your father who was coming back from work, entranced by Alastoir’s voice. He was broadcasting with the other host, clearly taking full control of the emission. You bit your lips, trying to contain your smile. Finally, Alastor was living his dream freely. 

You flinched when you felt your father’s hand on your shoulder making you turn around. You smiled at him, bouncing on your feet.

“ Are you hearing this? It’s Alastor!” you smiled with a beaming expression. You saw your father's expression relaxed a little before nodding. You took off your apron before running into your bathroom, shouting at Alice that you needed to go out. You changed your dress and did your makeup before rushing out of your house, leaving Alice and Alyzée with your parents.

They were used to you just running out of the house because an idea stuck you. 

You wanted to wait for Alastor in front of his new workplace. Maybe you should buy him something new? You grinned before hitting a chest in front of you making you fall on the hard ground.

“ Oh, I’m so sorry Miss, are you alright?” said a man, helping you stand up. You thanked before feeling another pair of hands on your shoulders.

“ You should be more careful, you could have hurt her.” you turned your face and saw John. 

He was staring at the man who excused himself before leaving. You step away from John, staring at him.

“ You shouldn’t have been so harsh with him. He was already apologizing before you stepped up.” you crossed your arms on your chest. John’s cheeks flushed before looking away, he always was the timid type so hearing him acted up like this was unusual. “ But I guess I should thank you… How are you John?” you smiled at him, maybe he was having a rough day.

“ I’m…not doing my best right now. Could we have a chat around a cup of hot chocolate?” he asked you with a weak smile. You frowned, worried. John wasn’t the type of asking for help and you knew that Alastor should finish working late in the evening. You nodded and you both walked toward a coffee not too far.

Once you were both settled inside and had your drinks you stared at him. He was looking at anything but you. You were wondering what was going on. Did something happen with his friends? You began to talk about what was going on in the city, you wanted him to feel a little more relaxed before jumping straight into deeper subject. You talked with him for about an hour or two, when you looked at the shop’s clock it was already 5pm.

“ I… I heard rumors about you and I wanted you to tell me if they were wrong, they also included Alastor.”

Your grip on your spoons hardened. 

Did he know about your crime? How? Alastor and you, mostly Alastor, made sure to cover your tracks. You needed to convince John to shut his trap or…

Kill him?

You gulped as you were shocked about your own thoughts. You were considering killing a friend? Were you going crazy? What was worse was that a voice in your head was telling you killing him would be too risky, you needed to find another way to get rid of him.

“ Are you both really getting married to each other?”

…

You laughed happily, hiding your smile behind your hand. You needed to relax. Nobody would find out what you did.

“ Oh yes, look at my ring!” you giggled as you showed off the ring that Alastor had given you. John stared at it, his jaw clenched. You tilted your head, was he upset because you didn’t tell him? John was one of your oldest friends with Alice, he wasn’t as “important” as her, but he was still a friend. Maybe he was angry that you didn’t tell him and he found out by someone else. You wondered who?

“ It looks cheap.”

…

“ Pardon me, I think I heard you wrong. Care to repeat?” you smiled at him, flinching when he took your hand in his, bringing your hand closer to his face.

“ It looks neat.”

You frowned, taking back your hand. He was looking away, seeming hurt.

“ Look, I’m sorry I didn’t celebrate the news with you, it was very sudden but you could be happy for me. Aren’t we friends?”

“ Are we? I… Dang it, I wanted to be more with you, since childhood actually, and now I find out that you are getting married to some… black man?” he spat, gripping his tea cup. “ You deserve someone better, with a higher social position, someone who will give you children that are being raised.”

What did he say?

You stared at him, your mouth slightly opened. You didn’t hear those words coming out of John’s mouth. He didn’t say those words. You didn’t hear it from a friend. You felt sadness before fury took its place.

Who did he think he was? What you shared with Alastor was beyond what his simple mind could comprehend. He didn’t know what Alastor had traversed. What you both have to do to be free together. He thought you wanted a man like him? You almost scoffed at the idea, the only man in your mind since childhood was Alastor and no one else.

“ Mhn… It seems like we have nothing more to say to each other, sir.” you stood up, taking money from your purse. You were going to pay for your drink, walk out of the coffee shop and wait for Alastor. You won’t make a scene, there were too many people. You didn’t need everyone’s attention on you. 

“ Wha- wait! Please, at least consider my offer!” he stood up, trying to grip your elbow. You took a step back, giving him the coldest stare you could conjure, whispering menacingly, what offer could he even think of?

“ Sir, I will ask you to never meet me again and furthermore, if I hear you badmouthing my future husband once again…You won’t have to worry about giving a poor unfortunate lady your children.” you smiled at him,  putting on your best innocent face. “ Have a fine day!” you paid for your drink and left the coffee shop.

You were fuming. How come you've never seen the truth behind John's smile. He was as disgusting as the rest of those men who thought they were better because of their social position or skin color. You didn’t know why, you felt tears in your eyes.

Why would you cry for a man who didn’t deserve any of your tears? Come on, you weren’t a weak lady! You’ve killed someone ! You were stronger than this!

And yet, why did it feel more painful to lose a friend in such a way? John wasn’t dead, you would meet him in the street, maybe in an event but yet… You knew that the part you cherished about John was dead. You would never want to meet him again, his encouraging advice, his support, even his annoying story about his father. You would miss it but never want it ever again.

You stopped walking when you realized you were in front of Alastor’s workplace. He should come out soon enough. You sat on a bench and stared at the dark sky.

Was Alice thinking the same about Alastor? You scoffed, Alice was the only one who would mock Alastor in front of his very own self. Most people would find Alastor intimidating which could be understood. He was always smiling, never showing any others emotions on his face

And yet, you have seen a side much darker from him. And you didn't run away from him. Heck, you embraced him! You accepted him in the deepest part of yourself, body and soul. You looked at your ring, now that you thought about it, Alastor never told you if he had made the voodoo’s spell on you.  You would have to ask him.

“ What is a breathtaking lady like yourself doing outside ? Shouldn’t you be home?”

You smiled before looking up at Alastor.He was smiling bending his slim body to be face to face with your eyes. You kissed him softly on the cheeks and you knew he was already observing you to see why you looked upset. You were always such an open book for him.

“ If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine my dear, I just need a name.” he winked at you making you laugh. You stood up, placing your hands around his already waiting arm. You both began to walk toward your place.

“ Well, the name which is going to be on everyone's lips is yours, Alastor. I heard you on the radio!” you beamed at him, trying to forget about John. Alastor stared at you for a few seconds before smiling at you, talking about how exciting this was to finally be a radio host. Listening to him talk about his passion made you forget this afternoon’s incident.

You both arrived at your parent’s place, you quickly opened the door and almost shouted from fear when you heard yelling.

“ Congratulations to the both of you for finally being together !”

You blinked as you looked at Alice and Alyzée who were throwing confetti at the both of you, Marie who was holding a camera in her hands and your parents who were clapping. You were so confused. What? 

Alice laughed at your face as Alastor took off confetti from his hair. 

“ You really took your time, you lovebirds.” 

You laughed before hugging the person present. Minus Alyzée, they have been the one watching you and Alastor getting closer and closer but you didn't expect them to be this happy because you were getting married to each other.

“ And we also want to congratulate Alastor for his first radio broadcast!” Your mother said with a beaming smile, complimenting Alastor on his voice and his presence through the radio.

You looked at Alastor who thanked your mother with a little bow and couldn’t help but laugh. The food you made was already on the table, you just needed to sit down. Of course, you sat next to Alastor who held your chair for you under Alice’s teasing glances. Since she came out to you about her feelings about Alyzée you were trying to make the lady comfortable around you. That is one of the reasons why you have invited Alyzée today to your usual cooking session, you didn't know she accepted because they were all preparing this surprise.

“ So, now, are you going to buy a house?” your mother asked, making you blushed. Really? You didn’t even have your dinner’s first bite !

“I’ve looked a bit, but I would like my future wife to be with me if we were to buy something.” Alastor said with his usual smile. You looked at him, he had looked out for a house for you to move in? Was he more excited than he was letting on? You couldn’t help but grin at this news.

“ Yes but Alastor just began to work, maybe it would be wiser to… to try to wait a bit?” Ask your father. You almost laughed out loud when you saw all the females turn their heads to your father. The poor man was trying to explain himself as all the women were telling to stop his nonsense.

“ Now that I think of it ! You know, the little cottage my family owns?” you nodded, that was a very precious place for you, this is where Alastor has bared his scars to you for the first time. “ I’m going to sell it, why don’t you buy it back?” Alice smiled, excitedly.

“ Alice, your family is rich. I don’t think we could buy it from them.” you smiled sadly at her. You wouldn’t doom your future because you wanted to be sentimental. 

“ I’ll give you a price !” she whined, making you smile. “ I don’t want anyone but you to have it!”

“ How much would it cost?”

You turned your head toward Alastor’s confident expression. He seemed so sure of him, like he could just throw the cash at Alice’s face. 

“ Wait, wait ! You can not take my little girl yet!” your father stood up. You looked at him amused. So, that’s what it was about, your father didn’t want you to leave the house just yet. As the women teased your father you heard a knock at the front door. Being the one the closest to it, you stood up, leaving the animated room before opening the door.

“ Good night ma’am. We are sorry to disturb you, I’m officer Jeff, I would like to talk with your father, is he here?” you stared at the policeman, before letting him enter. He was one of your father’s colleagues, you didn’t like it when he came, your father would stop smiling and would often leave for work. 

You took Jeff to the living room, where everybody was waiting for you to return and as expected, your father’s eyes darkened when he saw Jeff. Your father stood up and left with Jeff as you sat back down.

“ Who was it ?” Asked Alice. You answered her briefly, there wasn't really much to say. After half an hour of talking and eating, Alyzée and Alice were on the sofa with your Mother while Marie was taking the dessert she had made from the fridge. You were washing the dishes with Alastor by your side. Your father came back with a grim expression, closing the kitchen door.

“ Marie, Alastor, I… I have bad news.”

You turned off the water as Alastor and Marie looked at your father. 

“ We.. We might think something happened to your husband. He hasn’t been to his usual bar for a week.”

You froze. You could feel yourself getting paler. You looked at Alastor and Marie whose expressions didn't even flinch. Alastor was still smiling and his mother was looking calmly at your father, listening to him.

“ A friend of his asked my colleague, Jeff, to find him because he was getting worried and because we are close, I asked him to give me this case.” your father looked at Marie and Alastor. “ Is it usual for him? To just.. disappear for a week?”

“ Oh trust me, he would disappear for months sometimes, you shouldn’t worry. He will come back.” said Alastor. You couldn’t perceive a hint of deceiving on his face. He was talking about how his father would get drunk and go to town to drink even more. His mother and himself were used to him not being home. “ But please, if you think there is something strange, do take the case. Knowing that my soon to be father-in-law is taking care of this is reassuring.”

“ If you need anything, please ask us,” said Marie with a calm smile.

Your father nodded with a smile, promising he would find Alastor’s father before leaving the kitchen. You turned your head slowly toward Alastor and Marie, almost as if moving too quickly would make too much noise.

Marie was smiling at you before leaving the kitchen with the desert in hands.

How could she be so confident? Your father was in on a case of murder you committed !

“ Darling, dear, you look pale. You should sit down.” you heard Alastor say before forcing you to sit down on a chair. You stared at him, your hands shaking. “ There is no worry. Trust me.” 

You looked into his eyes, calming yourself. You wouldn’t be a burden for Alastor. If your father was on the case, it would be easy for you to know if they found anything that would be dangerous for you.  You would calm down, your father would never suspect you. Never.

“ I saw John this afternoon.” 

Alastor tilted his head, observing you carefully. He took your hands in his bigger one, caressing your skin. How easy it would be to just go in your room and lay on his chest to fall asleep and forget.

“ He.. He was upset about something so we went into a coffee shop and he asked about us getting married. I confirmed it, and he .. He said..'' you frowned. “ He said that..I deserve someone better–”

“ Someone like him? With a higher social position, someone with money?” Alastor laughed as you nodded, scaredly amazed he was so spot on on what John had told you. “ Dear… I knew from the very first time that John had those thoughts about me. I’m not surprised.”

“ Why… Why did you not tell me then?” 

“ Did you want me to? Wasn’t he your friend?”

You frowned. Yes, he was but…

“ Alastor, if there is someone who would disrespect you or your mother, even if they are friends of mine, you have to tell me. I don’t want such  persons in my life.” he hummed with a smirk.

“ Even Alice?”

“ Alice doesn’t like you because you are you.” you smirked as he rolled his eyes. You knew that they liked each other at least a little ! They just didn’t want to show it. 

You both came back to the living room. As everyone was talking with each other, you were thinking. Alastor didn’t seem angry about what John told you, was he not affected at all? Was his trust in you this strong? You hoped it was.

As the night went on, you decided to bring up some wine, after all, you were all celebrating yours and Alastor’s union. You were all gossiping, Alyzée and Alice talking about what was going on with the big personas of New Orleans. Alastor seemed really interested…

Around midnight Alice and Alyzée left after one last bottle of wine. You were a little tipsy or maybe more. You didn’t even remember when your father left the house to begin his work on his new case. Which is how you ended there, sitting on the bathtub’s edge, in your nightgown with Alastor kneeling between your legs, removing your makeup. You were looking at him, always so composed…

“ Have you done your voodoo’s spell?” 

He coughed against his fist, staring at you eyes wide open, his smile twitching. Come on, you wanted to see him lose his composure…

“Have you?”

“ It’s a spell that needs time… I need to carve runes and other things that your drunk brain would not be able to understand.”

You caged his head between your thighs with a big grin when you saw his pupils dilated. Good. You squeezed his head while he was staring at you, not moving. You shivered, that feeling once again… Feeling like a prey.

“ Other things?” you asked, your eyes half-closed, staring at Alastor with, you hoped, an sultry expression. “ Like what we have done after our hunting session?” you bit your lips, feeling Alastor’s hands pulling your nightgown up, revealing your soft legs, his eyes never leaving yours. “ Where are you going to carve runes?” your breath hitched as you felt his lips against your skin. He was putting one of your legs on his shoulder, kissing your legs, moving toward your thighs. “ Are you to carve them into the woods… Or skin?” 

You arched your back when you felt his nails dig into your skin. 

“ Darling… You’re playing a dangerous game.” he said, his voice dangerously low. You bit your lips, you wanted to keep playing.

“ If I were to carve a rune into you.. It would be in your head. You are always so composed, so calm, like… your heart doesn’t need to exist.” you gasped as he bit your thigh making you look at him.

“ I would carve a run right above your heart, darling.” He moved toward your chest and bit your breast softly through the nighgrown. “ So every beat from your heart, would be a reminder that I’m the one who owns it.”

“ I would let you.”

“ Darling..” he moaned as his head dropped against your breathing chest. Were you crazy? You wanted Alastor to carve himself into you, for him to be attached to you in a way you wouldn’t be able to run free from him.  “ We’ll talk about it later, when you’re sober. For now, you need to rest.”

You almost pouted but accepted your fate as he carried you to bed. You looked at him as he went into the bathroom to change. You opened your arms when he came back, making him chuckle. 

You smiled when you felt him against your body.

“ Alastor, my father is going to work on the disappearance of your father.”

“ Mhn.”

“ Aren’t you scared?”

“ Is it going to make you leave me?” he tilted his head with a mocking smile, already knowing the answer.

“ No.”

“ Then I’m not. Let the show begin.”

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[fooled-around-and-fell]

Hey! I hope you're good! I saw that requests are open, and so I wanted to send one in. It's totally fine if you'd rather not write it, but I'll just shoot my shot xD. So I was wondering if you could write something about Gojo being the nicest guy when he falls in love with someone? I just had my heart broken by someone and it was stupid and everything so I'm just really in the need of some fluffy Satoru where he knows how to value his partner. Because he's at the age where he knows it's not time to mess around, and also because he's already lost so many people he doesn't take his partner for granted? (Could also be kind of something where he's just a little older than reader maybe, so he knows when to be more serious. Lmao ik it isn't actually Gojo if he's being serious but you get what I mean)💙

hey! I hope you're doing okay ❤️ thank you for this request and I wish you all the best, you're gonna be okay, you got this ✨

summary: gojo satoru shows you what real love is pairing: gojo satoru x female reader genre: fluff content warnings: ooc gojo satoru, fluff Masterlist

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Falling in love is easy.

The hard part is where you choose to stay.

You have to work on it endlessly, each and every day. For some people it's easier to walk away, while those who gets left behind don't get a say and is left to deal with what once was theirs.

It took you a minute to move on from your ex. Looking back, it seems so stupid, so careless, so meaningless, sometimes you wonder why you dated your ex in the first place.

For character development, you convince yourself. You learned some lessons from it, so hopefully in your next relationship, you'll know better.

Which is why when you first met Satoru, you felt a little scared.

A little scared because it's happening all over again. After a few dates, you realize you do like him, and you do want to have something serious with him.

It's the way he'll open doors for you, makes sure you're drinking enough water, prepares vitamins on the kitchen counter -- they all sound like tiny actions that don't matter, but it touches your heart.

It's not only that, though.

It's also how he'd return your kindness tenfold, how he makes sure to text you he's a bit busy so you won't be left waiting around all day, how he'll always book a reservation even though it's just a regular date night and not a celebration.

Sometimes you wonder what did you do to deserve someone like him, and without even asking out loud, he'll reassure you that he's with you because he wants to.

There is no other shoe.

"You feel like going out today?"

You hum, considering it. "Not really. Says it's gonna rain. You wanna stay in and cook? I can make pasta."

"You cooked yesterday, it's my turn."

"Yeah, but you got home late yesterday from work. You must be pretty tired."

Satoru looks at you like you're silly. "You got home late too! What are you talking about?"

"Well yeah, but your job is more difficult than mine-"

"No, no, no." He stops you, "We're not doing this. The agreement is that we switch every day-"

"-or every other day-"

"-if the other person is exhausted." Satoru finishes. "I'm not exhausted, so I'm cooking."

Noticing you're about to argue again, he pinches your nose. "End of discussion. Now go relax, I'm making something delicious."

Rubbing your red nose, you smile and silently follow him to the kitchen. Satoru knows that no matter what he does, you'll always try to show him how much you appreciate him -- it's been your thing since you first started dating, and Satoru has given up trying to tell you that sometimes you don't need to always return the favor. Sometimes he just wants to do something nice.

You, of course, will never listen, so he decides that he'll just have to one up you every single time.

"I'm gonna make a side salad." You say, taking out the romaine lettuce.

"Okay, then I'll make dessert."

You can only smile appreciatively and shake your head. That's Satoru for you.

Your mind suddenly travels to the past, remembering how you'd spend hours alone in the kitchen to prepare a meal for your ex boyfriend, and how he'd come home late, and turns out he had eaten. He didn't even tell you.

And you chuckle to yourself, thinking how foolish you were to have stayed that long. Look at you now, spending time with your lover who showers you with love, shows you how much you mean to him, and never needing to ask "are we okay" if you happen to have an argument.

"Why're you laughing to yourself, hmm?" Satoru nudges your hip with his.

You smile at him, "Just... Just want you to know that I'm really grateful for you, Satoru. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Satoru visibly blushes, his lips shaking, "Hey, you're being too sweet now. That's my job."

He circles his arms around your waist as you continue sprinkle some cocoa powder on the tiramisu you made together (of course you insisted on helping make the dessert).

"You're the light of my life," He says, resting his head on your shoulder. "Hope you know that I- Achoo!"

You gasp and can't help but laugh as Satoru chokes on the cocoa powder. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"F-fine-" He coughs and laughs at the same time.

You hand him a glass of water and chuckle as he downs it. "Who knew Gojo Satoru's nemesis is now cocoa powder."

"Hey, you try inhaling that, it can be dangerous." He clears his throat a few times.

Giggling, you hug him tightly and press a kiss gently on his chin. "I love you, Satoru."

"I love you too, sweets."

[felassan]

this post is under a cut in case anyone would consider it to be DA:D spoilers, as the things it mentions came from the leak a year ago (spoiler warning for link) that included screenshots and a gif of the game. (the things this post mentions are therefore not new information and this does not reference a new leak)

I'm just thinking again about Rook (which seems to be the PC's name or title) and the imagery conjured by the name. ◕‿◕ this post is just speculation and overanalyzing for fun. also this post is a now-finished draft from my draft section from a while back.

I think it would work as a surname (like "Hawke") or a codename (think Leliana's spies and contacts such as "Butler", "Farrier", "Butcher", "Charter", etc although these are all professions that end in "-er" or "or" iirc). it could also be a title (like Warden, Hero, Champion, Inquisitor, Herald) or a nickname - like maybe it's short for "Rookie", it's a Varric-assigned nickname and it references how the DA:D PC is the newest member of the team after he recruits them?

I think it sounds catchy, and cool - it's snappy and short, Hawke-like in this way. and it sounds like the kind of name a spy or secret agent might have in a fantasy, superhero or sci-fi-type setting.

a rook is a black bird, Corvus frugilegus, a member of the corvid family. rooks have been perceived as vermin and nuisances by people in the past, and persecuted due to this. they bear a resemblance to their crow and raven relatives, both birds which have a large cultural footprint and lots of symbolism in areas such as folklore and art. Hawke obviously also had a bird motif going on from their surname and associated art pieces. corvids also bring to mind the Antivan Crows (assassins, thieves, & spies), reminding of the stuff about how in this game the PC may be trying to operate under the radar, and the reporting on a previous iteration of DA:D which had the game concept as being focused on spies and heists. rook plumage is inky black, bringing to mind darkness and shadow.

from the bird angle, a "rook" sounds neat opposite a "wolf" imo. wolves are obviously another animal that have large footprints in culture, myth and folklore. in the natural world there is symbiosis sometimes between wolves and corvids when hunting/feeding. there are lots of photos of wolves and corvids together.

a colony of rooks is called a rookery. of course, the fortress of Skyhold has a rookery. it's from there that Inquisition Spymaster Leliana operates, sending her black birds on missions with letters and messages to her many agents and spies throughout Thedas. what if Rook is one of Leliana's... "rooks"? a spy or agent of the remnants of the Inquisition.

A rook is also defined as "A cheat or swindler; someone who betrays" [noun], "mist, fog" [noun] and "to cheat or swindle" [verb]. it's also a type of trick-taking card game. these sorts of things bring to mind a rogueish, stealthy aspect, and the shady, shadowy dealings and card-game played in Minrathous Shadows.

a rook is also a chess piece. they're castle-like (since "rook" can also mean a castle or fortification) and usually have their top in the shape of a battlement. they can move in any direction along a rank or file on a chessboard on which they stand (horizontal/vertical, not diagonal). they can also do the "castling" move. in history, rooks have also been called towers, castles, rectors and marquesses. in chess, each player starts the game with two rooks at opposite ends of the first rank. chess itself is a game of strategy and tactics. "the chessmaster" as a trope is a character type who manipulates events, tugging on strings and moving 'pieces' into place on a metaphorical chessboard. [Solas' DA:I dialogue about his past, like the one he has with Sera about cells of spies/agents, hark to this]

in the castling move,

"Castling is a move in chess. It consists of moving the king two squares toward a rook on the same rank and then moving the rook to the square that the king passed over. Castling is permitted only if neither the king nor the rook has previously moved; the squares between the king and the rook are vacant; and the king does not leave, cross over, or finish on a square attacked by an enemy piece. Castling is the only move in chess in which two pieces are moved at once."

castling rules often cause confusion, even occasionally among high-level players. historically the move has its roots in the "king's leap", of which there were two forms and which arose in part it seems due to increasing importance of king safety as other pieces were given increased powers through time as the game developed. "the king would move once like a knight, or the king would move two squares on its first move. The knight move might be used early in the game to get the king to safety or later in the game to escape a threat." basically it moves the king away to safety and the rook to a more active position. there is also kingside castling and queenside castling. I wonder, symbolically.. is Rook more the king's rook, or the queen's rook? (reminds me of the Left Hand and Right Hands of the Divine hh). who or what is the king in this hypothetical analogy? the World of Thedas itself? as a castle or fortress.. Rook is the bulwark against what's to come? [over-thinking ik ik, tis just for fun hh].

by now we're all familiar with the chess game Solas plays in banter dialogue with Iron Bull during DA:I. in the in-world chess game, rooks are called towers. Solas moves his right-hand tower once. at a later point in the game, Iron Bull's "Arishok" piece takes Solas' left-hand tower, getting a check and leaving him feeling triumphant. Bull asks Solas wth he is doing as Bull takes Solas' remaining tower. "Your last tower, by the way". Bull, a spy and liar himself, bears down on Solas' pieces "with his full army", thinking a win is in sight. Undeterred, Solas executes a few moves in a sneaky plan and entraps Bull in a checkmate, winning the game after sacrificing various pieces to enact his plan.

rook also brings to mind the Tower tarot card and its meanings. it's associated with sudden, disruptive revelation and potentially destructive change. it connotes danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation, as well as adversity, calamity, deception, ruin and unforeseen catastrophe. reversed, it connotes things such as negligence, carelessness, apathy and vanity (vanity.. pride). in this depiction of the Tower tarot, lightning strikes from the sky, striking a crown (hubris) off the top of a tower and setting it alight as people fall from the tower to their doom. this imagery and the upright meanings of the card bring to mind the sudden massive change Solas seeks to bring about (destroying the Veil), the revelations and liberation for some that it might bring, his identity as Fen'Harel Lord of Tricksters (deception) as well as the destruction he seems to think the Veil destroying action will cause ("as the world burns in the raw chaos"...). the 'Tower scene' has also already played out once before in Thedosian history, when Solas created the Veil and sealed the Evanuris away, leading to the fall of Arlathan and its wonders. in modern Thedas, Morrigan and Flemeth (as well as possibly some side 'prophecy' type things) both allude to a big change coming to the world.

in DA:I, the Tower tarot card is ofc none other than Solas' ending card, if he is not romanced. in the DA:I version of the card, we see Solas, cloaked in a dark robe and holding a mage staff under a half-moon or eclipse. darkness seeps from his shadow, stark against the orange sky, and blends with the giant black Dread Wolf, looming ominously and open-mouthed above him with its many eyes. (the Tower tarot card Solas scene is later referenced in DA:D promotional art and DA:D-era in-world murals). it makes sense to have assigned this to Solas given the above discussed meanings of the Tower tarot card, but it's a verrry inchresting choice imo to then give "Rook" as a name/title for the DA:D PC.

and most inchrestingly, there's the symbol from the front of Mark Darrah's mysterious Red Book. this mysterious red book shows "a flaming rook" on the cover. the book was an internal guide for developer and publisher eyes only that summarized the vision for DA:D, in its Joplin iteration. we know that the Joplin project has since been revised to an extent that it was the newly codenamed Morrison instead, but the red book is known to still contain plenty of ideas likely to appear in DA:D. most pages of the book remain highly classified. it's the symbol on the front that's of most interest to us though for the purposes of this post. there is a castle, tower, or rook, like a fortress or the chess piece. above the tower, a fire burns, reminding us of the burning tower from the Tower tarot card imagery and what that symbolizes, as well as Solas' "world burning in the raw chaos" line from Trespasser. inside the fire is a wolf, the Dread Wolf, in a now very-familiar and repeated motif in DA:D art, merch, murals, teasers etc. whatever else "rook" may connote, it feels like it's not an accident at all that the PC's name is apparently "Rook", given this depiction of a fiery rook and the Dread Wolf together.

what do you think? ^^

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It Bonus | Drabble 4

Summary: You come home after a hard day at work and despite your best efforts you can't hep but let it upset you but he's always there to comfort you no matter how big or small your problems are. (A little glimpse into their future together) Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 2.2K~ (y'all back to back hella long drabbles damn I'm on one tonight lmaoo) Warning: Some suggestive language but nothing crazy lol a/n: Damn I'm spoiling you guys but idk since I was able it get them done so quickly I thought why not 🤷🏻‍♀️ I promise I'll get back to the main storyline soon but these drabbles have been so cute I cant 😭 (written in one sitting and not edited cuz I need to go to bed lmao) Requested by: @pamzn 💜 Start from the beginning

I take a deep breath before getting out of my car after pulling up to the house.

I don't know why I'm so upset about what happened today. It wasn't even a big deal but something about it just struck a nerve.

Walking into the house I'm greeted by the sight of Jungkook already making dinner and just from that first glance I'm already feeling better.

"Welcome home Bunny. You're pretty late tonight" he says, focusing on the food that seems to be something that may or may not burn if he doesn't pay attention to it.

"Yeah I had some extra work to do so I figured I would just stay later tonight and get it all taken care of so I won't have to worry about it on Monday" I say, giving his a short version of what happened without telling him exactly what happened.

"Look at you, my darling little girl has been working so hard lately" he says as I walk up to him and give him a kiss. Glancing down at his adorable apron he's wearing.

"Maybe you should be my house husband. You look so cute wearing that and making me dinner. Could get used to this" I say getting up on my tippy toes to kiss him again and he smiles into it. "You know I would make a great one" he teases, rubbing his nose up against mine.

"Can you set the table for me baby? It's almost ready" he asks, turning back to whatever he decided to make us tonight. "Of course Daddy" I tease and he gives me a smirk before nodding towards the cabinet to do as he says.

"You still have enough time before it's ready if you wanna go upstairs and change. I know you hate wearing your work clothes all day" he says after I finish the task he had given me.

"Okay" I say and make my way upstairs to do just that but once I'm alone again that playful attitude dissipates and the emotions from before start creeping up again.

I make quick work of getting changed and once I head back downstairs I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him from behind, resting my head against his back, hoping that the feeling of being close to him will take it all away and it does but I can't help but let out a few tears to get some sense of relief.

"What's the matter Bunny?" he asks, the few tears I've let fall having fallen on his shirt and dampened it and soon I let out a soft sniffle which then has him turning around to face me. Caressing my cheek, seeing the sadness written all over my face.

"Baby tell me what's wrong" he says, trying to coax the answer out of me but when the tears start to fall my freely he pulls me in and rests my head against his chest, rubbing my back and telling me to let it all out.

"I should've known something was wrong when you called me Daddy. You only do that when you're upset and not feeling well" he mumbles to himself. He places a kiss on the crown of my head before grabbing my hips and setting me on the counter, trying to make us be at eye level so he can talk to me.

When he does that though I just pull him in closer, letting out a few more cries into the crook of his neck before I start to calm down, my sniffles becoming less frequent and my tears running dry.

He leans back and tilts his head to the side trying to catch my eye and when I still don't look at him he straightens back up and tilts my chin up so he can look at my, studying me to see if he can read any signs before asking me any questions.

"Did the other interns leave the rest of their work for you to finish up?" he asks, hitting the nails right on the head and I nod while he wipes off my tears, grabbing one of the tissues off the counter to help.

"You gotta tell someone about that. It's not your job to pick up the slack for everyone else" he says, reminding me of the fact that I'm only there to do what I'm responsible for.

"I know but I'm still the new girl so I don't wanna rock the boat already" but he shakes his head at my answer. "You can't let people take advantage of you like that love, they're there to work too so they should be able to finish up their workload just like you do everyday" he says and I nod my head, knowing that in theory but still not wanting to get anyone in trouble.

"Weren't you guys all supposed to go out for drinks after work tonight?" he asks, remembering how excited I was about finally getting invited to spend time with my coworkers outside of office hours.

"Yeah but they said something alone the lines of 'Go ahead and finish this up and when you're finished text me and I'll let you know if we're still hanging out. Although I think we're probably gonna finish up early tonight'" I say, repeating what the clearly self appointed queen bee of the total of five interns in our department said to me.

"Oh Bunny" he says, pulling me in for another hug as I let out a sob, still a little emotional about it. "You've had a hard time at work all week and then they go and do this. If you don't tell somebody then I will" he says trying to come to my defense but I just laugh at his protective nature.

"It's alright. I'll email our supervisor and let her know what's been going on" I say and he pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes. "You promise?" he says pointedly and I nod my head, leaning in for a kiss, "I promise" I reassure and he looks at me clearly still suspicious of me but letting it go for now.

"Honey" I say, grabbing his attention when he decides to head over to the sink and get me a glass of water. "What's up?" I asks, and I look over at the stove before looking back over at him.

"I think your sauce is burning" I say with a cringe and he places the cup that he had been holding down before hurriedly going to turn the stove off, taking it off the heat and assessing the damage.

"I'm sorry" I say, feeling bad for taking his attention off the food he had clearly put a lot of time and effort into based off of all the dirty dishes I see littered around the kitchen.

"It's alright Darling you have nothing to be sorry about. I should've been more careful and turned the stove off" he admits and I take the spoon out of the pan and taste the sauce, doing my best to keep a poker face as he watches me attentively, waiting to see if it's completely ruined.

I place the spoon back into the pan and he waits with bated breath. "So?" he says and I nod my head and swallow down what I had in my mouth. "Yeah it's good" I say and grants me a shocked expression.

"Really?" he asks and then does the same thing I did surprised that it's still edible. "No" I giggle once he closes his lips around the spoon leaving him yanking it out of his mouth and rushing over to the sink to spit it out, grabbing the cup nearby and using it to gargle and hopefully get the taste out of his mouth.

"That's disgusting! How did you even eat that?" he asks, truly impressed with my tastebuds. "I didn't try very much. Plus I think your reaction was a little dramatic don't you think?" I tease while he gulps down a whole glass of water.

"We clearly have very different pallets because that is horrible" he says, filling up his glass one last time and gargling one more time before placing it in the sink.

"I really am sorry it got ruined" I apologize again but he shakes him head. "You're more important to me than any wacky new recipe I was trying out" he says, cupping my face in both hands and placing a big dramatic smooch on my lips.

"Should we order your favorite?" he offers, pulling up the food delivery app we tend to use. "You don't wanna pick this time?" I ask, remembering that I was the one who chose last time.

"No it's okay you had a bad day so you can pick this time. I'll just choose the next two times we order out" he says and I nod my head. "Sounds fair. Just please, don't pick anything weird again" I cringe, remembering the last time we tried something new.

"Hey! I liked those vegan shrimp burgers" he says, crossing his arms over his chest making me laugh at his pouting face. "Whatever you say Honey. Now hurry up and put your order in too I'm starving" I admit, remembering that I skipped lunch.

"You didn't lunch today huh?" he says, reading my thoughts as soon as they pop in my head. "I swear you're some kind of mindreader" I say, walking past him to get finally get that water that had been promised to me on my own.

As soon as I turn on the faucet I'm granted a slap on the ass making me yelp from the surprise of it. "What was that for?" I groan rubbing the tender flesh and he giggle pulling me in for a kiss running his hands down my back before resting on my ass giving it a squeeze.

"I told you if you wear those little pajama shorts around the house I can't be held accountable for my actions" he smiles against my lips and I hum into the kiss when he pulls me in a bit closer.

"Mmm nope I'm too tired and hungry" I say, pulling away from the kiss and he tries to chase my lips but I turn my face to the side so he ends up kissing me on the cheek instead.

He kisses my cheek a few times but then when I think he's finished he licks a long stripe from my jaw to my cheek bone and it try to wiggle out of his hold but he's got an iron grip around my waist.

"Ew you weirdo let go of me" I say squirming while laughs, thoroughly enjoying my reaction. "Aw come on I thought I was Daddy tonight" he says, switching to ticking my sides now, no doubt a distraction and a thorough effort in keeping me from getting upset again.

"Okay okay fine Daddy please s-stop" I call out, still trying to get away from his poking and prodding and when he finally lets go I run to the other side of the room to make sure he can't get ahold of me again and just when I think I'm safe he's tackling me down onto the sofa.

"Okay okay I give up you win!" I say, hoping that this tactic will get him to leave me alone. "What do I win?" he asks, amusement written all over his face and when I lean in to whisper all kinds of naughty things in his ear his face goes from amused to seductive real quick.

"Oh yeah?" he rasps and I nod my head and he gets off of my and pulls me up by hand and starts to try to pull me upstairs. "No no no I didn't say right now! We've got food on the way!" I say trying to remind him of what we've been waiting for this whole time he's been playing.

"Come on they won't be here for like another fifteen minutes" he argues and as soon as he completes his sentence the doorbell is ringing leaving him groaning at the contradiction to his claims.

"See I told you!" I tease while he walks over and opens the door to get the food and thank the driver.

"Yes! Come on let's eat!" I say grabbing one of the bags and rushing over to the kitchen table and start pulling stuff out.

"Well I guess I know where your loyalties lie" he sighs and trudges over to the table. "Oh come on you crybaby. First I eat this and then you can eat me later if you want to" I taunt and his eyes light up at the though and I swear I can see him drooling.

"Deal!" he says and se spend the rest of the night laughing and loving until the sun comes up. What did I do to get so lucky? No matter how long we've been together that is always my last thought before I go to bed and the first thought I have when I wake up next to him in the morning.

Our relationship might not be the most conventional but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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[mysticmellowlove]

pls needy!yan x ignoring!reader

note; feeling like an academic weapon in one class while being an academic victim in another is a harsh reality :')

warnings; fluff, so unserious lol, reading this back there is like a subtle yandereness whoops, it was cute though so i hope you still like it

There was one thing in this world that would never change. Work will always continue to be a part of your relaxing afternoons. As your fingers clacked on the keyboard, a riveting sound that had you considering if you'd buy one of those specifically clacky boards instead, the monotonous sound drowned out everything else.

A slow and exaggerated blink later and you realised that maybe two things would never change in this world. Your boyfriend, packaged in a small parcel of sugary sweet words and devious hands, was whining at you from the doorway to the office. If you were to look up from your computer and make eye contact there would be no escaping the resulting cuddle session.

Sometimes you wondered how he even survived without you before... though you'd never actually ask him that as he would most definitely say that he was basically dead. Your boyfriend really was just a funny little guy.

"Baby.... you've been working all day." A sigh came from the corner of the room. You schooled your expression as you took a sneaky peek from the corner of your eye, he was no longer at the door. You flicked between pages on your computer and tried to get back to your work.

"Have you forgotten about me?" A sulky tone seemed to drift closer, he was on the move again. A small laugh bubbled up, was he seriously doing this? You two had date night only yesterday, a whole night dedicated to taking him out and swamping him with affection.

In a matter of moments, you jumped as he launched himself onto your lap, his arms winding around your neck. He seemed to sink into you, his body instantly relaxing as you pursed your lips, a soft sigh leaving your mouth.

Still, you continued to work as he fiddled with the hair at your nape, twisting it around his fingers and slowly tugging at it. The urge to simply stop what you were doing and take a nap was high, but there were things you had to get done.

It began to get substantially harder when he began to pepper kisses on your neck, using his intimate knowledge of your sweet spots to try and drag your attention away from your computer. Willingly or not you felt your body relax as he lightly sucked on your skin, drawing it into his mouth.

"I'm busy." You muttered as you swapped your screen to the graph you were working on in excel, the numbers looking even more annoying than they did ten minutes ago. His smile seemed to spread as he pressed his face into your shoulder.

"But wouldn't it be better to spend time with me instead? You can finish this later." He whispered, his voice low and seductive as he peeled himself from your body. You dodged his gaze as he looked at you, an exaggerated pout on his lips.

"Let me take care of it, let me take care of you." He drawled as he leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose, then your forehead and then the side of your mouth. A huff of air left you as you leaned to the side to see the screen better.

"Babe." A certain tinge of harshness leeched into his voice for only a moment before he was kissing your eyelids, forcing them to close. An exasperated sigh left you as you finally let your hands clasped around his waist.

"Go sit on the couch, let me save this first and then we'll spend time together, yeah?" Despite the annoyed look on your face you couldn't help but melt under the cheesy grin he gave you.

"Of course! Love you baby!" He cooed as he jumped off of you and skipped over to the office door. You rolled your eyes as you hit the save button on your computer and went to stand up.

You spoilt him too much...

[crepegosette]

is 2024 the year I finally make an askblog for my South American ocs?

[beeholyshit]

You know you made a promise Maroon

So please don't forget about it!!

[ta-bajna-cerna-okybaca]

Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each

[carcarrot]

well everyone now that sparkstember is over i can now devote my energy to being insane in other still sparks-related ways

[barklikeagod]

okay..... we are writing

[mattodore]

best part of having ocs is that i can just write them doing whatever i want. like i can just do anything with them and it's like oh yeah. that's happening. and no one can be like hang on you can't do that bc actually i can since they're mine <3

[bobmckenzie]

ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

[sysig]

Pick a side, it’s the same coin (Patreon)

[noxtivagus]

theme for my class's christmas party on friday is most listened to artist.. bro how do i dress as masayoshi soken

[foone]

Your posts are in an AI model

and then Tumblr decided to sell them to AI models.

Now, don't get me wrong, tumblr selling out the users to AI companies is bad, yes, they shouldn't do that. It sucks.

but don't lets get this confused: your posts were already in there. Tumblr selling them is about tumblr making some money and about the AI models having more exhaustive post collections. It's not about your posts being in an AI model, vs not being in one. That battle has already been lost.

Can you find your post on google? Then it's almost certainly in an AI model already. Think about it: These AI sites showed up before all the sites were making deals to sell their users' content, right? How do you think they built them in the first place?

They scraped the posts. Just like google and bing and such do when they build their search indexes.

It's a fundamental part of how the open web works: you want your posts on tumblr to be visible to users, right? You want them to be readable?* Like, look how much stuff broke when twitter changed their whole read-while-not-logged-in policy, ruining a bunch of thread links/NSFW links. And if it's visible, it's scrapable. That's what the AI models were built on.

I've done website scraping before (not for AI models, of course. I was doing search engines and website archival), this is just how it works. You hire a few relatively smart CS graduates and tell them "build me a scraper that'll give us a bunch of tumblr posts" and they go off for a month or two and come back with a database of a few billion posts, and you stuff that into your AI model. That's how they got all the deviantart and flickr and twitter and pinterest and so on posts. They didn't pay for them: they just took them.

They only ever pay for this shit because either:

they fucked up in such a way that the site might be able to sue them for taking rather than paying

They can buy them cheaper than they can finish taking them. Maybe they'd need to pay the CS grads for an extra month? well, that might be more expensive than just throwing the site a couple hundred thousand bucks.

ANYWAY: my point is, don't treat this "oh no tumblr is selling our posts to AI" like it's a big thing that might happen and it would be bad to happen. Yes, it's bad, tumblr shouldn't do this, this'll let AI models get continual updates of content for far easier than just scraping them would be, tumblr betrayed user trust, and so on...

but realistically, this is not a black and white matter of "if only tumblr didn't do this, then we'd be safe from AI models!"

Nope. We already lost that battle. I'm sorry, and it does suck, but that's just how it is. The avalanche has already started, it's too late for the pebbles to vote. * I'm assuming here that you don't run a private blog that's set to only followers or something. You'd be safer then, of course, but you're not really my target audience for this rant