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bucky-h0e · 1 year ago

Text

A/N: Sort of a re-write of the first part of what was called 'what if Bucky met Alpine in Bucharest' but it is only a slight recap of those events with a bit more of their relationship introduced.

Enjoy!

You Feel Like Home Masterlist

Warnings: Events of abuse/neglect, Alpine is locked outside of her house, angst, Alpine being too trusting in strangers, mentions of substance abuse, Bucky in denial about how much he cares, Bucky dreams about Alpine being in danger, Alpine is hurt

Bucky and Alpine's Small Interactions

Bucky knew about Alpine's existence - he made sure to do some sort of research/check on his neighbours, to make sure that they wouldn't pose a threat to him

considering the business they ran from their home, he knew that his dear neighbours wouldn't be too willing to bring armed forces to their complex

he's seen Alpine around, skinny, frail, looking a lot younger than her age (a solid 12 years - how she'd managed it in her living conditions Bucky didn't know)

he noticed she was always on her own, he never saw either parent with her

maybe this is why he felt something towards her, they were both forced into a life of solitude.

having lived in it for 80+ years, Bucky was used to it

but watching this girl be forced to live it for no other reason than simply existing, his heart ached for her

but he had rules

and he had to stick by them in order to stay settled in Bucharest

and he managed to stick to those rules for all of 2 months

Alpine had been locked outside of her flat, either by accident or on purposed Bucky didn't care to question (that was a lie, he cared very much so)

he went to bed, figuring that if he were asleep, he wouldn't be focused on the young girl out in the corridor sleeping on the hard, cold ground

oh how wrong he was

his dreams of his sister had slowly turned into a nightmare, ending when Alpine appeared, lurking behind the crowd in his mind

a shadow, always there, watching him, begging him to do something, anything

his dreams called for him to act, his sister begging for him to do so, as they prepare to ice skate in his slumber

it was peaceful, for a short time, until it wasn't

chaos ensues, the ice under their feet cracking, his sister falling in and him diving in after her

he'd managed to pull them out, but rather than answer the question of if she were okay, his sister, Rebecca, begs him to help the girl stood by the hole in the ice

no one noticed as she took a step forward

no one tried to stop her as she plunged into the icy depths

no one but Bucky

but he was too far, the world seemed to stretch back as he ran and reached for her

until suddenly he was awake, panting and nervous, thinking of the young girl in the corridor.

he gave in, looking through the peephole to see her still sat there and slowly opened the door

either she was a light sleeper or she just had not slept

she bolted up right, chest rising in small, quick bursts. he could practically feel the vibrations of her heart pounding against her chest

he calmed her, asking her name

she hesitated

she didn't know it

Bucky could feel his anger rising, how does a child not know their own name?!

Bucky offers his own to her after she asks for it, wanting to know what a name was supposed to sound like

for bucky, it was the first time using his name since his escape

she choses her own name, Alpine

it's strange

but he tries to smile at her and nods approvingly

she lights up at the endearment

he gives her an option that night, either he gives her pillows and blankets (his own because he didn't have any spare)

or she comes inside and sleeps on a bed with his pillows and blankets

she chooses the latter, scared of the germaphobe neighbour down stairs

it's awkward at first, but soon her adrenaline runs out and she's half asleep on the couch from where he'd left her whilst he sorted out the bedroom for her

he lefts out an apologetic hum, gently rousing the poor girl

"I know kid, I know. You can sleep soon, just gotta get in bed okay?"

it doesn't take long before she is out like a light, snuggled into the blankets, safe and sound in Bucky's bedroom whilst he sleeps on the couch

in the morning, Bucky wakes to the sound of the door and he bolts up

who the fuck was that

he checks the bathroom and kitchen, peeking into the bedroom to see nothing

it was probably Alpine leaving

checking the peephole, he sighs in relief at seeing her sat on the floor in front of her door

he's about to lock the door once more and get some more shuteye before he spots two 'regulars' come up the stairs

they glance at Alpine with sick grins, knocking on her door and slowly stepping closer to the poor girl

oh fuck no

Bucky is surprised he doesn't rip the door off its hinges with the force he opens the door with

it makes the men flinch but not Alpine, instead, she looks up and smiles at him

soon after, Alpine's door opens a crack, closing again and then opening once more after the bolt and chain is removed.

as much as he hates it, Alpine could now get inside.

he supposes he should be grateful

but he can't shake the awful feeling in his chest as he watches her enter after the men

perhaps he just needed more sleep

The next time they meet, a fire alarm had been pulled in the building, causing a mass evacuation

he had waited for her to leave her apartment, following behind her as they joined the crowd on the stairs slowly but surely making their way to the front of the building

he practically growls at everyone

they're pushing a shoving, terrified that it may be an actually fire

bucky knows it's not, he can't smell the smoke

in their haste, they keep pushing Alpine into the railing, causing her already aggravated coughs to worsen

what's worse, they're forcing her down two steps at a time, something her little legs couldn't quite handle due the the spacing

she's tripping and stumbling, holding onto the railing when a particularly hard shove causes her to fall forwards without a chance to catch herself

Bucky's hand reaches out automatically

gripping the back of her collar and pulling her back up.

his grip remains on her baggy shirt, squaring up his body and sticking close to her so that no one could push her again

they hit him and are stopped in their path as they collide with the sturdy body of an ex-assassin instead on the weak one belonging to his neighbour

when they get downstairs though, Bucky leaves

if there was a fire then emergency services would show up

he didn't need that

he'd circle back to make sure there was no fire, no police involvement

if there was then he'd grab everything he needed (if anything survived) and leave

he couldn't help but hope that there was no fire and he could continue living here

at least for short while

an hour later, he came back

no fire

no sign of police

no danger to his location

sighing, he begins the journey up the stairs to his floor

imagine his surprised when he gets halfway up and Alpine is clinging onto the banister, coughing up a lung and gasping for breath

surely, she should have been upstairs by now

her breathing is ragged and croaky, she'd obviously been struggling for a while now

he kicks a stone on the stairs, making a noise to let her know someone was coming up behind her

when she turns, there are tears in her eyes

"You good, Alpine?"

"Hi Bucky... just can't... catch my breath..."

he winces at her wheezing

he can't just leave the poor kid

he wasn't a monster

was he?

with his metal fist clenched and hidden away in his pocket, he offers her a hand - a flesh one, which she takes

bucky is surprised how tight her grip is

she tries going faster with his help, but he slows her down and tries to smile at her

"take your time kid. I'm here."

"You don't have to wait for me Bucky"

"I'm not going anywhere. Take your time."

When they eventually get up there (they had to stop a couple of times and Bucky had seriously contemplates just picking her up), he waits until he is absolutely sure that she can get into her own place and that her parents hadn't locked her out once again

if they had, he'd just take her back into his place again

he was sure that it would be the better alternative despite the sparce furniture

she did and the pair bid goodnight to each other

he decided that night that the next time the opportunity showed itself, he'd get her some sort of inhaler

he knew a couple of people who could help, he'd just have to make sure they wouldn't reveal anything

easy enough to do when the majority of their customers are underaged kids and when Bucky knew exactly who gave them their supply

but that was a job for another day

or maybe tonight

he had a feeling that it couldn't wait

especially when all he could hear through the walls was her coughing and her parents shouting at her to be quiet

yeah, he'd get it tonight

he doesn't see her for a couple of days, but he knows she got the gifts of three inhalers he'd left in her mailbox

she was the only one to actually use it - her parents didn't seem to care for the piles of bills and threats of eviction, simply suggesting that 'If we don't see it, they can't kick us out'

he feels relieved about the fact she got the inhalers, but still finds himself worrying about the amount of food she was eating or the clothes she war, the layers of dirt on her skin and her matted hair which was unsalvageable at this point

he hates that he is so caught up in his worries for her

he's on the run for the love of god

but she's alone in this world, and so young

it picks at his heart until the wound it leaves behind is a gaping hole, wanting to be filled with the slightest chance to look after her and protect her like she were family

which is why, when she gets caught trying to steal from a market stall, he reacts quickly.

he grabs the stall vendors hand, which in return tightens the grip on Alpines arm, her own hand holding a bruised apple

"what's going on here?"

"mind you're own business."

the vendor pulls her towards him, shaking her body aggressively in the process, calling her a thief

"I wasn't stealing! I was picking it up off the floor, I swear!"

"Filthy liar!"

this man has the audacity

THE AUDACITY

to try and hit her

Bucky sees red

all he wants to do in the moment is send this vendor into the back of his stall, or through the table. anything to get him the hell away from the girl and make his reconsider ever trying to do that ever again. bucky didn't know if she was stealing. he didn't need to know.

he did know that causing such a scene would not be a wise idea

he grabs the vendors raised hand, shocking the man enough for him to release the grip on Alpine's arm

"How dare-"

"You'll have to forgive my daughter, here, I'll pay for it now. And I'll take a punnet of plums and a couple oranges too."

the man seems to calm down at the sight of Bucky pulling out some cash, Alpine hiding behind the man

"She's your brat?"

this fucking guy

"Yeah."

he feels her grip onto the back of his jacket, looking down to see the dreamy, dazed look on her face, her eyes watching the fruit be moved and placed into a plastic bag

"Teach her not to steal. And give her a bath for fuck sake, her stench is scaring away my customers."

with that, the man attends to his other customers

sparing a glare at the man, Bucky decides that human interaction can wait today, instead turning and walking away from the market place

bag full of fruit in one metal hand

Alpine's in the other, flesh hand

he's fuming

how dare that man not only attempt to hit her, but then insult her to her face? as if she wasn't a human being? when had humanity fallen to such a level

right about the time they experimented on people and turned them in super-soldier weapons to be used for whatever they wanted

so always.

he's too in his own thoughts to realise that Alpine had been speaking to him

that is until he feels a weak tug on his hand

he looks down and his glare is replaced by a concerned frown

stopping, he kneels down to her height, gently running his thumb over the back of her hand

her arm is bruising and bucky has to stop himself from marching back to the marketplace and getting some revenge for the girl

"...I'm sorry..."

he glances up at her and his frown deepens

"I thought... it was on the floor... no one would want it anyway... i just.... i'm so hungry and i though he wouldn't notice..."

Bucky is pulling the fruit out of the bag as soon as she finishes speaking

he didn't care she was trying to steal a bruised apple

he rips open the netting surrounding the fruit and thrusts two plums into her hands

"Eat."

"but-"

"No. Eat."

for someone so hungry they would steal, Alpine is hesitant to bite into the fruit

but as soon as she does, she relaxes, sighing happily as she munches on the fruit, Bucky gives her two more when she's finished

"I don't care what you were trying to do. But if you're hungry, you come to me. I won't let you go without, I promise, so just ask me."

why was he making these offers and promises?

he barely knew the girl and yet he was going out of his way to save her?

maybe it was because she reminded him of his past

maybe it was because Steve pulled him from the darkness

he wasn't sure

in all honesty, Bucky doesn't think he'll ever understand his instinct to protect this sick little girl

but he can't argue with the feeling he gets when she sends him one of the brightest smiles he thinks he's ever seen, fruit juice dripping down her chin

shaking his head, hip lips move on their own to form a smile back at her, his hand reaching up to wipe the juice from her chin and rub it on his jeans

"Nice?"

"Mh! I love these! Thank you so much Bucky!"

bless his heart

he will buy her as many plums as she wants just so long as she keeps smiling at him like that

once again, he helps her up the stairs and waits for her to go in before

once again, it feels like a punch to the gut hearing her parents shout at her through the walls

he sees her again the next day, trying to climb up the stairs whilst carrying two shopping bags full of food

Bucky was sure she wouldn't get a chance to eat any of it before her parents go to it first

their so heavy that the plastic is stretching and threatening to break as she tries with all her might to get up the stairs

the one of the bags break, letting loose a wave of cans and packets down the stairs towards Bucky

he manages to catch a few before they get too far, placing them in his pockets as he goes to retrieve the rest

Alpine is close to tears, frustrated and just exhausted from the day she'd had

"Hey, hey, don't cry Alpine, it's fine. Look"

he gently takes the bags from her, re-organising the haphazardly thrown in items so that there was a bit more structure

some of the heaviest items he pockets until they can get upstairs to prevent the bag from breaking

he ties the bag that the handles had broken with a few of the left over items and offers Alpine an awkward smile

"All done."

he only gets a little sniffle in response

his heart breaks at her tear filled, tired eyes

she definitely wouldn't be able to make it up the stairs in this condition

he's have to try and calm her down

so, he kneels on the steps and gets her so sit a couple of steps ahead so that they were face to face

"What's wrong kid?"

her response is a mumbled mess and Bucky has never before been so grateful for the serum running through his veins than he was now

"It's so stupid. i just wanted to sleep but they made me go shopping because i ate some stale crackers last night and i didn't have enough money and they didn't tell me what they wanted they just gave me this and i can't read it so i couldn't get anything, they're gonna be mad at me!"

he frowns and gives her knee a gentle pat, taking the 'shopping list' she'd pulled out of the bag in the middle of her little ramble

it was ineligible

honestly if bucky had been given this he wouldn't know what to do with it

so it was a wonder that Alpine even managed to do any sort of shopping

he could make out a few things, but definitely not all of it

"Hey, you did good considering. Not even I could read thi-"

"I can't read."

"That's what I'm saying, i can't even make out-"

"No Bucky. I can't read. Or write. I can't do anything right! I'm so stupid and useless and-"

Bucky stops her by gently grabbing her hands

"You can't read?"

she looks so sad as she looks down, ashamed of admitting that she couldn't do what the other kids her age could do

"never been to school..."

bucky can't compute it

he always knew she didn't go to school

but he just didn't even consider the fact that she wasn't given a basic education

she spoke just fine

then again, she grew up with two adults who couldn't seem to stop scream at each other and god knows how much tv

he is furious at them and himself

why? he wasn't sure

but he knows he's close to his breaking point with this kid and the treatment she receives

he's angry and Alpine can tell

"...I'm sorry..."

he can't believe she's apologising for her own mistreatment

shaking his head, he moves his hand to give her head a little pat

"You did well kid, look at what you did. Can't read, but you got a whole lot of shopping for your family. You should be proud of yourself."

she's tearing up again and Bucky is panicking

"Really?"

he nods quickly, patting her head once more

"Really."

it takes a little time before she's ready to stand, she's still crying but it's calmed down

Bucky stands, wanting to get her home so she can rest

he picks up the shopping bags and glances down at Alpine as she stands and wipes her eyes, taking a few steps up, even more tired after her breakdown

he could just pick her up

it would be easier for them both

she looks so tired

but he doesn't want to over step

but she's exhausted

gently, Bucky leans forward and wraps an arm under her legs

she gives a little squeak as she's lifted, but sits quite comfortably on his arm

her small arms wrap around his neck, resting on his shoulders as he walks up the steps a lot faster than she's ever been able too

he's not surprised by how light she is

but he's terrified that even the slightest tense of his muscle would break a bone

despite that, he can't help but be tense, that is until she leans on him

the light weight on his chest gives him a sense of relief he can't describe

like a weighted blanket

Alpine can't help but relax in Bucky's arms

she's never been carried like this before

lifted sure, when she was in the way

but being carried like someone cares is a completely different feeling

and she relaxes for the first time in years, her head laying on his shoulder

tears fall at the overwhelming feeling

bucky assumes it's because she's tired - kids cry at stuff like that after all

he shushes her gently as he makes his way up, bumping her temple with his chin

"You're okay Alpine."

"You did good kid."

"Almost there."

it's nice, comforting

neither are ready for it to disappear but soon they find themselves on their floor

before bucky puts her down, he's shocked when she gives him a tight squeeze

what is this?

the answer: a hug

Alpine gives him the biggest hug she can muster before he puts her down gently

he is in shock

who knew the human touch could be so gentle

he smiles awkwardly at her, placing the shopping bags down letting her get inside and close the door before walking to his own

it opens just as hers does once again and he looks back

her parents throw her out

she's crying again as falls down against the railing

"Stay out of our sight for a while. Useless piece of-"

the door slams shut and the sound of the bolt locking in place echoes in the hall

her eyes are on her door and Bucky's remain on her

he's getting real sick of her parents

slowly, he steps towards her, slowly, carefully

as if she'd run away at any sudden movement

when he gets to her, he lifts her into his arm again, she resumed the position she'd been in not even three minutes ago

she's still crying as he takes her into his apartment

still crying as he lays her in the bedroom and covers her with a blanket, moving her matted hair out of her face

still crying until she falls asleep twenty minutes later, drained of any and all energy she had

he stays there for a while, brushing through her hair with his fingers, seemingly distracted by brushing a knot out

he only moves when it's getting dark and his stomach groans in complaint from the lack of food

he wakes her when it's ready, she barely manages a few bites of the meal he'd prepared before she's falling asleep again

he lets her, happy with the amount she'd eaten

he'd put the leftovers in a Tupperware box for later before letting her sleep again

when he was sure she was sound asleep once more, he moves to the living room to sleep on his couch

in the morning, he wakes to Alpine still asleep in the bedroom and begins on breakfast

it's nice

having someone to look after

he could get used to it

and when she shuffles out of the bedroom, rubbing her sore eyes that lighten up when she spots the food for them both he decides that yes, he definitely could get used to it

and that day, he starts the tedious job of working the matts and knots out of Alpine's hair - content with the look of pure joy on her face

The final straw for Bucky is a month later

he hadn't seen his neighbour in a month, but he'd heard her

heard her crying coughing

heard the slam of doors and shouts of her parents and their customers, all aimed at her

he's come close to knocking down their door before now

but he can't risk it

its not like he could just take her with him on the run

it wasn't fair to her

but would leaving her here be fair either?

it was all he'd been thinking about for the past month, holding himself back from waltzing in like a knight in shining armour

but Bucky Barnes wasn't a hero

he was an ex-assassin, hiding from people all over the world

he was destined to be alone

he needed to be alone

it was just safer

so why is it, that when he makes his way up to his apartment to find Alpine sat at his door, crying hysterically, all of that goes out the window

he hadn't seen her in a month

the last time he saw her, he'd managed to work out all of the knots in her hair and got her to take a bath, she looked healthy and happy

now though?

now, she was hunched over, face red, hair knotted and wild once again, covered in dirt and dried blood on the bottom of her feet, bruises covering her head to toe

the only thing stopping him from getting to her parents now his her reaching out for him

she whispers his name and he takes her into his arm instinctively

they don't say anything as Bucky brings them into the apartment and sits her on the couch, she whimpers at the loss of comfort

he grabs the first aid kit and wash cloth and bowl of hot water, sitting in front of her

he washes the dirt off of her, looking at new and old bruises which are healing

she seems happy just to have him near

slowly, he works his way down to her feet, worried about what he'd find

the cuts aren't deep, nor are they new

they seem to be healing okay - except one which still had broken glass in it

when he tries to pull it out, he realises she hadn't done it because of how much it had hurt

he shushes her gently, letting her squeeze his hand as he takes the glass out of her food and begins to treat it - easier said than done one handed

once he manages to wrap her foot sighing to himself before he sits in front of her and offers her a smile, asking what happened as he wipes her face with the cloth

"They don't want me anymore... I don't know what i did wrong... but they kept shouting at me and pushing me... father broke a bottle on the floor and I stepped in it by accident, tried to get it out but it hurt... it all hurts.. i don't want to go back."

she starts crying again and Bucky shushes her, pulling her into a hug which surprises them both

"he said i was selfish... that i was dirty... he- he said he was sick of my coughing but I can't-"

"It's okay... it's okay, you-"

is he really about to do this?

"you don't have to go back."

yes, yes he was

"You'll stay here with me from now on."

she looks up at him with wide, hopeful eyes

"Really?"

"Yeah... Yeah you stay here, and I'll- I'll look after you... if you want."

his heart stops when she smiles at him again, reaching up and hugging him

"I want to stay with you."