#me and larry both get up at 5:30 am

[janayuga]

Larry Sketch.

Bc I kin him.

[whywhaatt]

"hey i'm bored" (isaacwhy x reader)

-

word count: 2.028

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, hand kink(kinda), degrading, light choking

a/n: this is my first fic😜 i didnt proof read it yet so hopefully i didn't misspell anything too badly

-

10 hours. 10 hours of sitting at this desk and playing on my computer. I've gone through almost every app or game that I have downloaded. I've checked every social media, watched the newest uploads of my friends, and I even read a random wikipedia article. It's around 2am now. I need to go to sleep. After turning off my computer, and taking my headset off and hanging it on the monitor, I walk towards my bed and grab my phone from my nightstand.

1:59 AM... god damn. I gotta fix my sleep schedule. Nahhh I know I won't. The lack of sleep is kicking in, it feels like 5 minutes go by of me just staring at my lock screen. Turns out it was just 30 seconds cus my phone automatically turned off. It takes me a minute to realize it, but the only reason I do is cus a notification pops up.

"wassup" - isaac💀

tf... it's 2am?!? Why is he texting me?

~

isaac: wassup

me: heyy

isaac: sorry it's late. im bored

me: bro i just laid down💀💀

isaac: can i come over? larry and tanner and annoying tf outa me rn

me: telling them you said that🗣️🗣️

isaac: bro pls. ion know if it's cus im tired but y'know how it is. i just need to get out of the house

me: yeah ion care, just let me know when you're here

isaac: bet

~

That was random, I guess Isaac's coming over now. He's been over before, but not like this. What if something happens? I'm probably just over thinking this. Am I shaved? Yeah, I'll be fine.

~

isaac: i'm here😜

isaac: weird emoji sorry

~

"Thanks for letting me come over, I needed to get out of the house" Isaac said, sitting down on my couch.

"Honestly, if I with all of those people I would have to leave all the time. So glad I live alone".

"Yeah well, I love them. It would be weird being away from them after this long of dealing with their shit." Isaac said, "So, what are we going to do"? I didn't think about that. I kinda just panicked for 10 minutes while he was driving here.

"I don't know, we could watch a movie or something?" I ask while tossing him the remote, "Move over, this isn't your apartment. I wanna sit". I sat down not too far away, but Isaac scutched closer and wrapped his free arm around me. His other hand had the remote in it, just scrolling through shit on Hulu.

"YO YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING CHAINSAW MAN"

"GOD ISAAC I HAVE NEIGHBORS"

"Oh shit sorry, I love Chainsaw Man. Have you seen me wearing that mask. I look so good in it man, look here I'll show you-". I had to cut him off.

"Isaac, I've seen the photo like 20 times. As much as I love how you look in it, I'm not looking at it again."

"Shut up and look at it" He holds my chin, forcing me to look at the picture on his phone. Damn. He is hot. I'm speechless. The fact his hand can easily grab my face like this, I wonder what else they can do. Looking up at him, my cheeks start to get hot a little bit. This eye contact is painful. I need this to go to more. My hand goes to the back of his neck, our faces slowly inching towards eachother. There's a pause, almost like we realized what is happening.

I close the distance. Just a light kiss, short and simple, but we both need more. Immediately, Isaac's hand pulls me in.

"God.. I-I need... you" I moan in between kisses. Isaac pulls back, and I whine at the loss of contact.

"What?"

"I can't tell if I'm just tired, but I need you so badly. Please Isaac." I am begging. BEGGING. For this man.

"You're so pathetic." He says right before kissing me again, this time more passionately, and his hand moving towards my neck. He squeezes softly, making sure it wasn't too much for me. I'm a moaning mess.

"Do you want to move to your bed?" Isaac questions before picking me up bridal style and carrying me towards my bedroom. My arms are wrapped around his neck while I'm looking up at him. I'm just looking at his eyes, he's so beautiful. He sets me down by the foot of me bed, so I'm standing with my arms around his neck. I always knew he was taller than me, but the height different is crazy. He looks twice my height, and he's still bending over to kiss me.

"Baby, go lay down. I'll take care of you". I almost moaned when I heard that. The things I would let this man do to me is insane, ever since I've met him the list has been getting longer and longer.

I'm laying down my bed, when suddenly my feet are pulled and my legs are dangling off the side. Isaac takes his sweet time pulling down my Nike shorts, teasing me slightly over my panties. I need him to hurry up and get straight to the point cus this is unbearable. Again, he slowly takes off my panties and just barely touches my pussy. The tiniest bit of contact makes me shiver and whine for more.

And like that, Isaac's eyes look up at me as he starts eating me out. He keeps looking and studying my every reaction until he gets the one he wants out of me. Remember when I asked what his hands could do? Well, I found out. As his tongue is focused on my clit, he slowly puts two fingers into my hole. I have to cover my mouth with my hand so I don't scream.

With his fingers thrusting in and out of me and his tongue working wonders on my clit, I know I won't last long like this. My eyes are stuck shut, with one hand over my mouth and the other holding his hair back. My thighs are practically crushing Isaac's head at this point.

"Isaac, I cant" I'm panting in between moans, "I'm so close". As I finish my sentence, everything stops. I whine and whimper, needing more stimulation.

Isaac moves from below my torso to standing at the foot of my bed. He slips his shirt over his head, leans down and puts me back into the spot I was before. Then continues to undress himself right before me. His body is gorgeous. I cant stop staring at him as he gets on top of me, kissing me softly. I can taste myself on his lips.

He breaks the kiss and slides my shirt over my head, exposing my chest. The cold air hit me all of a sudden, making me shiver for a little bit. It feels weird to be fully exposed to Isaac. The closest we've ever gotten to this is almost kissing on New Year's, but we both realized we've just had a little too much to drink and we backed off. I guess Isaac notices me thinking, cus he stops everything and looks down at me.

"Babe, you okay? You can tell me to stop at anytime, I want you to be comfortable" he says, it was the most serious he's sounded all night (well I guess morning). "We can stop if you'd like, I'm sorry I rushed all of this-"

"No keep going, I just got lost in my thought. Thank you for caring for me, Isaac." I pause my sentence to kiss his lips softly, "I'm having a good time". Isaac nodded and continued kissing my neck, leaving little marks every now and again. His hand creeped up, massaging my left breast, and his mouth making his way towards my right. When his tongue made contact with my nipple, I let out a slight moan and let my eyes close softly. My brain feels fuzzy, probably from the lack of sleep, but I love it. It feels like I'm high, but in the cringy "high on life" way.

"I have a condom in my nightstand" I blurt out, "but I'm on the pill so if you don't have anything you can go without it". His head perks up from my chest, looking almost as excited as a kid in a candy store.

"Really?" he asks excitedly. Yup, exactly like a kid. I nod my head yes and Isaac immediately moves to get himself into position. He lines himself up, looking up at me in my eyes, and slowly inserts himself into me. Both of our mouths fly open, releasing a string of moans and whines. Isaac was bigger than I expected, but he feels so good inside of me.

After a couple of second of staying still so I can get used to his size, Isaac starts to move. My hands move to hold on to Isaac's shoulders as he slowly moves in and out of me. I push his head down to kiss me to try and muffle my moans, but it barely does anything.

"Faster, please, please go faster" I beg, with our faces so close we're practically sharing breathes. His pace speeds up and my head relaxes back into the pillow. I can feel myself getting closer and closer by the second.

The room is filled with random moans or praises from either one of us, not being able to hear anything else. If Isaac didn't wake my neighbors earlier, then they're definitely awake now. Honestly, I could care less if I get a noise complaint.

"Isaac- Oh my- I'm- I'm getting close" I moan out between breathes. His hand moves from behind me to my neck, lightly choking me. My mouth flies open from the new pressure on my neck. Isaac, seeing the opportunity, takes over my mouth. Inserting his tongue and immediately dominates my mouth. I'm being so loud right now, and I don't care.

"Isaac, I'm about to- I'm 'bout to cum. Please Isaac. Oh my god please." I gasp out with the air I have.

"Do it. Cum for me, baby. You're so amazing" Isaac moans into my ear, loosening his grip on my neck a little. My nails digging so far into his back, they could leave scars. My head flies back, eyes rolling to the back of my head, and toes curl. A wave of pleasure rolls over my body as I cum with Isaac still going inside of me.

"Just a little bit more, baby, hold on for me. Please baby, you're doing so good for me." Isaac lets out as his hand lets go to steady himself on the bed, getting the pace back to how he needs it. While overstimulated, I try my best to hold tight for Isaac.

He's close. I can tell. Not too much longer, Isaac comes inside of me. All of his body weight crushed on top of me, feeling like a weighted blanket. A wave of praises came out of Isaac as he caught his breathe.

"Let's get you cleaned up"

-

After we took a very, very long and slow shower together, we laid down in bed together just cuddling.

"The house is asking where I'm at, Imma tell them I'm staying here for the night if thats okay with you" Isaac asks.

"Yeah, it's perfectly fine." I reply, "Random question, well two actually."

"Hit me."

"Okay so one: did you mean for this to end up like this? And was this technically a booty call or whatever?"

"Okay, first off I'm not liked that. But I realize it looks like it. Nah, I just wanted to hang out with you. It was just one of those late night and I'm bored situations"

"Okay, great, umm and two: what does this make us now?"

"Wow, umm.. hard question. I don't know. What do you want to be?"

"Maybe more than friends, I really like you Isaac." I confess, just staring into his eyes through the dark. He leans in and kisses me.

"Will you be with me?"

a/n: i hope you liked this:P my requests are currently open so make sure to leave some if you have any!!

[abbzworld]

Writing commissions

Hello everyone! As some of you know, I’ve been writing fanfiction for a long time now, with accounts on both Archive Of Our Own  and Fanfiction.net. I have also dipped my toe into original fiction writing (just not as often as fanfiction) and as such, I also have a FictionPress account. And I figured that since I enjoy writing so much that maybe I could make some money off of my stories. And that's why I am now offering up some original fiction and fanfiction commissions! The info for both will be under separate sections below. But first, here are some general rules and guidelines before we begin: 1. I don’t want you to send me anything NSFW. Just stick to PG-13 for a rating, alright? 2. The longer the story you want me to write, the longer it’ll take for me to finish it, so just keep that in mind. It could take anywhere from a few days to a couple months. If you don’t like that, don’t commission me. 3. I’m only going to take three commissions at a time. Anything more than that and I’ll overwhelm myself. 4. Your commission can't be cancelled after I've finished the first draft. 5. Anything that you don't specify in your commission information, I can make up. 6. Please only ask for one commission at a time! This allows other people to commission me without one person taking up all three slots. 7. Please note that I will NOT write about incest, pedophilia, explicit abuse or ANYTHING of that sort! ---- Fanfiction Commissions Before we get started, let me make it perfectly clear off the bat that I will NOT write for a ship/fandom that I either don’t like (i.e. a NOTP) or know nothing about (i.e. Harry Potter). I will only take commissions that I can comfortably write! If you're unsure as to what I will write outside of what I've listed below, just ask. Types of Commissions NOTE: My currency is in the Canadian dollar. So keep that in mind if your currency is different. Also, my overall price is 1 cent per word (eg. 100 words is $1 and 500 words is $5, etc.) Drabbles (anything less than 1k words) - Maximum price is $9.99 CAD These will be the stories that’ll hopefully be done quicker than the others since they’re the shortest in terms of words. Short Oneshot (between 1-3k words) - Maximum price is $30 These might take me a little while depending on inspiration, my schedule and what you want me to do. Long Oneshot (between 3-5k words) - Maximum price is $50 These will probably be the toughest ones to write since they’re longer and I have to make sure that they’re the proper length and I don’t go overboard. So don’t overload me with them, okay? Surprise Story (between 1-8k words) - Maximum price is $75 Provide me with one of your artworks, and I'll write a story about it. Do's and Don'ts What I do/am willing to write OC’s aka Original Characters (depending on where they’re from and who they are so again, if you're unsure, just ask) Fandoms: • Paper Mario (mainly TTYD and SPM) • Naruto • Doctor Who • Gravity Falls • Harvest Moon (mainly AWL and it’s different versions) • Legend of Zelda (mainly WW, TP, SS and BOTW) • Bugsnax Romantic ships: • Beldam/Doopliss, Koops/Vivian, Bobbery/Scarlette & Count Bleck or Blumiere/Tippi or Lady Timpani (Paper Mario) • Naruto/Hinata & Shikamaru/Temari (Naruto) • Twelve/Missy, Twelve/Clara, Missy/Clara, Twelve/Missy/Clara, Twelve/Davros (yes, you read that right), Third Doctor/Delgado Master & Sally Sparrow/Larry Nightingale (Doctor Who) • Dipper/Pacifica (Gravity Falls) • Link/Zelda (mainly from Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild) & Link/Midna (Legend of Zelda) • Celia/Marlin (Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life) • Filbo/Buddy, Snorpy/Chandlo, Lizbert/Eggabell and Wiggle/Cromdo (don’t judge…) (Bugsnax) Platonic ships: • Dipper and Wendy (Gravity Falls) • Shelda and Floofty (Bugsnax) Characters: • Gaara (Naruto) • Missy, Twelfth Doctor, Clara and Sutekh (Doctor Who) NOTE: I AM willing to write outside of these ships and characters, but within reason. Feel free to ask me about something not listed here, but there's NO guarantee that I'll write it for you. Especially if it's a NOTP (i.e. romantic and/or sexual Sasuke/Itachi, romantic and/or sexual Hidan/Shikamaru, etc.) or just someone that I’m not used to writing yet. (i.e. Stanley Pines) Genres: • Adventure • Angst • Drama • Family/friendship • Hurt/comfort • Romance What I don't write Multi-chapter stories as I have bad luck with trying to finish those, no matter the length. Mature content aka NSFW Fanfiction involving real people Genres: • Biographies • Crime • Fantasy • Horror • Humor/parody • Poetry • Some sci-fi • Supernatural • Western ---- Original fiction commissions Here are some rules and guidelines specifically for my original fiction commissions: 1. My price is 2 cents per word, since writing original fiction is generally more difficult then writing fanfiction. So in other words, just multiple the final word count by .02 and you'll have the price to pay me. 2. My minimum word count for an original story is 100 words (which would be $2) and my maximum is 2000 words (which would be $40). I don't have too much experience writing original stories yet, so that's why my limit is 2000 words. 3. Again, no multi-chaptered stories! It would be too tough on me. Otherwise than, my previously mentioned rules and guidelines apply as well as my do's and don'ts that I mentioned under "Fanfiction commissions". So as long as you follow them and communicate effectively with me about what you do and don't want, I'll be happy to write for you. ---- Other information DISCLAIMER: I have the right to refuse a commission without explanation. How to commission me Send me a chat message or non anonymous ask containing the following information: • Type of commission (i.e. will it be a fanfiction or an original story? What minimum and/or maximum word count do you want? Etc.) • Genre(s) of the story • Which fandom the story is in (for fanfiction commissions) • Any and all characters involved, including OC's • The plot you want • Extra information/specific details you want me to know • Paying by points or by PayPal? You can also contact me on either Discord (abbie26) or DeviantART (found here) with the information.

Closing

Anyways, that should be enough for now. And if you have any other questions that aren’t answered above, be sure to ask me so I can clear it up.

Peace off!

[lom-journal]

Saturday March 30/24- Centralia, Midway R.V. Park #42- Larry Shaved and Both Showered 🧼 Today!

Peter and the gurls up around 5:00 a.m. and me at 6:45 a.m. *****I took 2x T’s + Pink med and a full glass of water 💦!I also had a Big Poop 💩💩 before getting up this morning ! We are off today to Centralia ! This was a great park last night ! The town park in Myrtle Creek! We are all up and Peters doing the dishes I’m doing my journal and we’ll pack up and hit the road at 8:10 a.m. Peter took the dogs for their walk at 7:47 and we are almost packed to travel! We arrived at the Campground in Centralia at 1:55 p.m. We got our regular spot #42 at MIDWAY RV PARK! I’m unpacking and will shave and shower 🧼! *** I took 2 x T’s at 11:00 a.m. ****I am taking 2x T’s at 3:00 p.m.

[signalwatch]

HalloWatch: Werewolf of London (1935) Watched:  10/29/2023 Format:  BluRay Viewing:  First Director:  Stuart Walker Every year, Jamie and I each carve a jack 'o lantern.  Usually we put on a movie something we've seen before, often a comedy or horror-comedy.  But this year I squeezed in one of my Halloween bucket movies for the year, but I can only say I *partially* watched this one, because I was also carving a pumpkin and then cleaning up the aftermath. this year's effort.  Jamie's Dracula on the left, my ghoul on the right I had just never gotten around to Werewolf of London (1935), which is a bit of a surprise even to me.  I am a fan of Lon Chaney's take on The Wolfman that would pop up 5 years later, but I never make it through the rest of the werewolf films in the box set.  I'm trying to get a picture of 1930's and 40's horror, one Halloween at a time, and have tried to watch offerings from Universal and RKO.  Also, I exist in the same world as Warren Zevon, so you'd think I'd eventually just be curious to see the damn movie. The plot is nowhere near as tight as The Wolfman, and the performances not as punctuated.  But that doesn't mean it doesn't have anything to offer.  I liked the make-up, the transformation FX, and the general idea of the story.   Scientists visit Tibet to find a flower they've heard only blooms in moonlight, and while securing the plant, are attacked by a werewolf.  Returned home, renowned biologist, Wilfred Glendon, begins acting anti-social and ignoring his wife (played by Bride of Frankenstein's Valerie Hobson), who just happens to have her childhood boyfriend show up at the same time.  A doctor Yogami appears and is also looking for the flower, which he says alleviates the symptoms of werewolfery.   Anyway, mayhem ensues, the doctors both are werewolves, etc... All in all, it's really not bad, but the lead - unlike most Universal films - doesn't really have a sympathetic motivation in the same way we see Larry Talbot - a victim of chance.  There's a dash more Jekyll and Hyde to the story than in the case of The Wolfman, but not enough to get hung up on thinking it's borrowing too heavily.    In general, it's an okay movie.  I didn't dislike it, and will watch it again with my full attention.  A highlight was seeing Valerie Hobson in another movie shot at literally the same time as Bride of Frankenstein, but given far more to do.  She's good!   But, yeah, I need to watch it again next year to say much more.  But I've 100% seen far worse. https://ift.tt/NGfXmyb via The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/blOI23g October 30, 2023 at 09:03AM

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Oh hello, episode 4. Let’s see if you have more memorable things than the first three episodes did.

1.) It’s hard for Max to see that Billy is wrong ‘cause he’s always a kind of a jerk.

2.) I love Max telling El about comic books, especially Wonder Woman.

3.) I forgot how crazy the old woman is acting when they take her away in an ambulance.

4.) I can’t remember if Heather survives this season, but she’s gonna need a lot of therapy if she does survive and does remember it, because leaving her begging, sobbing parents in a basement to be possessed isn’t something you really get over.

5.) Real shitty of the mindflayer for making people be awake for the possession. Like c’mon.

6.) Why is Hopper not in a hospital?

7.) The boys are terrible at communication.

8.) Robin has a plan and took all the tips.

9.) I had thought that Heather’s dad looked familiar and had already forgotten until I saw him again that he’s the douchebag head of the paper.

10.) Is Mrs. Driscoll actually a paranoid schizophrenic or were they just having this man be weird?

11.) Nancy and Jonathan got fired.

12.) We gotta get El on a roller coaster.

13.) Learning about hosts for the Mind Flayer.

14.) Larry is a terrible liar. You’d think a politician would be a better liar. Actually scratch that, that makes sense.

15.) It is very hard to blackmail someone who has blackmail on you too.

16.) “Don’t give me that dead daughter sob story, because I just don’t care.” Shocked Hopper only broke his nose and not killed him.

17.) Ohhhhh. I forgot Hopper threatens to chop the man’s finger off with a cigar cutter.

18.) “Oliver Twist routine” Nancy really is classist. Also if Ted Wheeler really did make 6 figures in the 1980s, they really really were well off.

19.) Dustin is like Gumbo.

20.) I didn’t know Billy even owned a shirt. Did the Mind Flayer have to go shopping?

21.) ‘Boys only’? You’re being dumb, Mike.

22.) Having Erica be a huge fan of capitalism sucks. Bare minimum I need someone to have her eventually grow out of this immature phase and be like, “yeah, no, that was stupid. Capitalism sucks.” Because kids, capitalism sucks. It hurts everyone but the ultra rich.

23.) I forgot the mayor keeps the papers in his ugly house.

24.) I really do like to see Hopper outside of his work uniform. I also like to see JOyce putting stuff together.

25.) Aw, Nancy actually went to her mom.

26.) Like this is really a surface level reading of feminism to think ‘I am a woman and therefore damn the fallout and consequences because I am woman, hear me roar’ is the end all to be all. Like I love Nancy and Karen talking and loving each other but she did still blow up Jonathan’s spot and refer to him talking about his economic circumstances as ‘Oliver twist routine’. Like that was fucked up.

27.) I forgot how genuinely worried Max was about Billy. She really really hoped it wasn’t Billy that was the new host.

28.) Operation Child Endangerment is a great name, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, Erica.

29.) You’d think a guy like a mayor would have handcuff keys by his bed.

30.) Steve is so fucking worried up until Erica walks through those doors.

31.) The wild thing is I’ve thought Billy’s actor, Dacre, is attractive in other things, but I do not think he’s attractive at all as Billy. Like both because of the hair and the attitude. He’s just terminally unfuckable to me. And it’s one of the many reasons I hate Steve/Billy. I also hate Eddie/Billy.

32.) Billy hit the back wall hard enough to break tiles. Either that or they’re shitty tiles.

33.) Fun fact, HIPAA didn’t exist until the 90s so the only thing stopping Nancy from just being a concerned neighbor getting answers would be hospital policy and how willing to talk the front desk woman is.

34.) “If you die, I die.” “…Okay.”

35.) I forgot that the fucking elevator plummets like it’s a goddamn roller coaster ride.

36.) I had blocked out Billy sobbing in the sauna and saying ‘he made me do it’ entirely.

37.) Max is so sad and so worried about Max.

38.) if Will didn’t have Spidey senses, Max would have gotten stabbed with broken tile and sauna glass.

39.) I forgot Billy gets pinned to the wall with weights and it keeps cutting back to Mrs. Driscoll looking horrifying.

40.) I also forgot that Billy’s body is forced to choke El. Also that Mike is the one who takes a bat to possessed Billy to save her.

41.) And then Billy got thrown through a brick wall before getting up and walking off.

42.) There’s so many people in that abandoned factory.

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, “who tf is Larry?”

Human AU /fake dating AU Intruality or pre relationship Patton/Janus/Remus

okay so Patton Sanders is away at collage and he is a Good Boy (tm). He volunteers Saturday, goes to church on Sunday, arrives 30 min early for his 8 am Monday lecture and brightly asks how everyone’s weekend was. He brings home made cookies to his seminars and lets everyone copy his notes and is always polite and kind to everyone he meets.

Unfortunately, a lot of this gets him labelled as weird, childish, naïve etc etc

Which he can cope with when it’s strangers, but he can’t help but get annoyed when it comes from his family.

He’s got three big brothers. Roman and Logan are both massive overachievers, Roman is super social and has had an endless parade of boyfriends, Logan claims he isn’t social but runs like 5 different clubs at his college and has an endless parade of minions. Both of them have a bad habit of talking over Patton and not truly listening to his contributions. Virgil’s a bit more chill but he’s completely overprotective and treats Patton like he’s a kid who can’t survive on his own. (Early episode vibes).

So there's some family obligation (mom wants them to...take grandma to the... old folks .. .church picnic? IDK something) and everyone just straight up assumes Patton will go because 'its not like he's doing anything else' and its just one step too far and Patton just blurts out "UM actually I'm busy that day. With Larry."

Which...who tf is Larry?

After that Patton maybe gets a bit addicted to the Larry excuse. Can't bring cookies because his boyfriend Larry licked all of them. Can't help you move this weekend, going to SeaWorld with Larry. Oh wait SeaWorld's unethical? Yeah he knows, it's a protest. Larry's going to dress as an ochrea and scream at people. Cant lend you the money - Larry needs it for bail.

(This might not have escalated so much if Patton wasn't TERRIBLE at lying, juts blurting out the first nonsensical thing he thinks of, but also has such a reputation of goody-two-shoes-ness that no one suspects him of lying. But everyone is very concerned about his association with Larry.)

The only person who knows Larry is fake is Patton's roommate Janus, who was there when Patton was on the video call and originally came up with Larry. He thinks the entire thing is hilarious and does absolutely NOTHINHG to reign Patton in, frequently helping him maintain the ruse/ escalating it further ("Patton would DIE if he knew i was telling you this, but the real reason he can't come to your birthday is Larry's old prison injury is acting up again..."). This whole thing has brought them closer than any of Patton's prior attempts at bonding with his roommate so he's a bit pleased.

Things go wrong when his brothers insist he bring Larry home for thanksgiving break. He's already told them that Larry got disowned by his family (seemed easier than making up a whole supporting cast) and is unemployed so he can't think of a great excuse (and his brothers are VERY insistent) so he ends up agreeing.

Patton and Janus get drunk in their room to toast the end of the Larry ruse. Janus insists Patton should just get a friend to pretend to be Larry to keep the game going but Patton says his only real friend is Jan and his family already know what he looks like (he has a pretty distinctive face tattoo) so that cant happen. Jan say's in that case lets just hire someone on Craig'sList to be your badass brother bothering boyfriend and Patton laughs and then has no memory of the rest of that evening.

So Patton drive's home. Hungover and resigned to having to come clean about lying for months and months. And when he walks in the door his mom hugs him and says “oh! Larry got here just before you! You never told me he had a moustache!”

So then a guy Patton has never seen before in his life is planting a big ol sloppy kiss on his cheek and yelling 'Heya honey bunch!!" and his brothers are in the background looking like they're about to have a collective breakdown and um.

He really just needs to get 5 minuets away from his family and 'Larry' so he can call Janus and ask what the fuck have you done, but with Larry clinging to him like an octopus and his brothers refusing to let them out of their sight that's almost impossible

bonus points!

Remus considers himself a method actor and refuses to respond to anything but Larry/ stop pretending to be Pat's boyfriend even when they're alone

Pattons mom is, inexplicably, completely charmed by Remus/Larry and wont stop telling him how much more confident and happy Patton has been since the two of them got together

his brothers are all horrified by Remus/Larry

Patton does eventually get in contact with Jan who is like...okay yes maybe i wrote the criaglist add after you passed out but in my defence i was extremely drunk at the time

Patton tells his mom that Janus wasn't invited home for thanksgiving (which tbf, is true, because his family's in freakin' europe) so of course she insists that he drive over an join them

this does not calm anything down, as he pisses off Virgil within the first 20 seconds of arriving, but he does distract everyone to give Patton more chances to sneak away with Remus

eventually Patton has a bit of a break down/ rant to Remus about the whole situation and Remus finally drops character to comfort him and is like "I don't get why you need to lie about yourself anyway?? Like I've spent this whole weekend learning about you and you're awesome the way you are??"

Patton: HEART EYES EMOJI

Anyway so eventually OBVIOUSLY they fall for each other and fake boyfriend becomes real boyfriend

Remus and/or Jan deliver some sort of smack down speech to the bros about how they need to have more faith in Pat/not treat him like a child etc etc

Patton learns to stand up for himself and also realises he's so lucky to have so many people who love /care about him even if they are all completely ridiculous

at some point, Remus initiates a food fight

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

🗣Tues 15 Dec ‘20🙊

Anyone order their daily with EXTRA DISCOURSE today? Lucky you, I guess, I'd send it back to the kitchen if I had the option but this is more a 'you'll take what you get and like it' kind of establishment so here we are! EAT UP we got Liam and Lou Teasdale making everyone mad, Louis and Harry's teams forgetting they're supposed to be mortal enemies, and Zayn?? Getting papped?? Omg is Z3 really coming this time? I've been burned so many times before (flown too close to the sun) but what if....... So first Gigi and zaby stroller were papped, then Zayn was papped in his usual way-- 'if you can get a good picture of me in the seconds it takes me to walk from my front door to the car have at it, that's exactly all you get'-- and then a fan reported seeing Zigi and zaby at a pizza restaurant. Zayn's hair is bleached white blond and that's about all I can tell you except that Z NEVER gets papped (or spotted really) for nothing so I am excite!!

Liam's back! He did the postponed-from-last-Tues hour long live for Stand Up To Cancer (and raised $16k!) and he's got a show in two days so I'd say his extremely brief breather is probably done with, whether he got the time he needed to be happy about coming back or not. He seems in good shape for the live though, even if he does say “its been a really long day, you don't even know, REALLY long” and that what he wants most for Christmas is “to have a little bit of time to reflect.” But he says he is going to take some time out and go away and write music “for the first time in a very long time,” in the new year, nice! He mentions how he went up to Sweden for recording recently and says it ”went really well I'm really really excited” about the new music and, uhhh, “got something sent through from Mick Fleetwood while I was over in Sweden writing, some guitar stuff, which was amazing, and he was dressed like santa at the time!” I...what??? I'll just... leave that there?? About other bands, he says that he's become a big fan of the Wanted over time, that “someone Zayn-ed out,” of Little Mix but “Zayn left for pretty much the same reasons and I do feel for them,” and “are 5SOS still together? Did they pull an us I thought they pulled an us?” He said yes, it's so great about Louis' show, and “it was great, and do you know what, like listening through those lyrics, it’s really nice to hear the truth in his music because obviously I mean I know all of the full story about him, and [pause].. and uh... his relationship with his girlfriend and whatever else,” SKLDYSSKKJ.

This long live also had him responding to screen comments he would usually ignore (though thank GOD he only reads but doesn't answer 'what happened with Niall in Japan' please tell me the questioner wasn't trying to get him to comment on the 'violently masturbating' story), anyway so we got Liam on touching his hair if larry is real-- “of course that's not going to happen don't be silly,” and on whether he thinks 'larry is disrespectful' “sometimes I do... actually that's not true, all the time I do.” Well he's not wrong though I'd expand that to 'all the fans' but if I had to wade through a million “touch your nose if larry is real” comments every time I was promoting my own material, for ten years, I'd probably get tetchy too! He didn't say it was or wasn't real, as he himself pointed out he never WILL do that for REASONS; tbh I'm with Liam can people PLEASE stop being so embarrassing on main and let him live? ANYWAY, moving on, his Advent Alarm clock today is the sleep story edited down to be just Liam laughing for like 30 seconds, aka the exact edit that I suggested they should make a couple weeks ago, which I find frankly extremely alarming (ALARMing HA) are they... listening to me?? Well if Liam's management are looking for ideas BOY HAVE I GOT SOME FOR THEM hit me up fellas PLEASE.

Harry and Louis both announced further postponements of their UK and Europe tour shows, like really the same announcement and just fully back to back, I can only assume that after weeks of intensive hashing out to match up dates their teams have arrived at some kind of plan and were like cool let's announce! Louis has added some new shows, while Harry's new schedule is undisclosed as yet. Harry says “I really hope to play these shows and will have news for you in the new year on when they will take place.” Louis' new dates include previously omitted countries (Iceland! Austria!), and those tickets go on sale Friday. Harry did not respond to Rob Sheffield's awkward attempt to link Watermelon Sugar and WAP as being similar but he did like Megan Thee Stallion's post celebrating her successful year, and Vulture ranked Adore You in its top 5 videos of the year with a much better take on what Harry is all about, saying that it “highlights one of the singer’s best traits: his willingness to be delightfully weird.” Kid Harpoon said that he and Harry “wrote a song in Japan that may yet see the light of the day,” and Harry continues to roast him, disputing his songwriter of the year award-- “they found 8,000,000 opposing ballots in a bin behind his house! FRAUD!”

And last but most discourse-y-est of all, The Sun made waves today, pulling the most salacious parts of a Lou Teasdale interview with the Sex, Lies and DM Slides podcast from last week and bringing it to wider attention. In the interview she talked at length about systemic discrimination against women working in the music industry and her own work experiences, which naturally include (very briefly) touching on her highest profile job- the years she spent traveling with 1D. In this context she says “you kind of can’t sleep with them [the band]- it’s quite important to keeping your job... some people would come in and like you know assistants and stuff and I think they would really think... that it was love and obviously it’s not,” and “it’s just the quickest way to lose your job- because then they’ve got a new girlfriend and she’s there and they don’t want you in the room.” She did not sell her story to The Sun she mentioned this in passing as part of an interview about her work experiences; she herself says, “I didn’t do an interview [with] the sun. I’ve never done that. I did a podcast with friends about loads of things.”

There is nothing remotely unlikely in this story, either in the concept that members of the band slept with girls casually (we know that certain of them did and there isn't even anything wrong with that in a situation of consent, the denial of it is as bizarre as scribbling out the beer bottle in a 28 year old man's hand), or that low level members (“assistants and stuff”) of the 150 person+ crew appeared and disappeared on a regular basis. The band were, to my guess, probably simply not paying very much attention to the serious ramifications of this carelessness and the consequences rather than demanding that people be fired, but I do very much hope they've learned over the years to be responsible for the kind of power that they have over other peoples' lives (something I really doubt they understood the extent of yet as very young people being dragged from one place to another who felt powerless themselves).

[detective-gum-chew]

okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead) 

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court. 

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him. 

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently. 

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

[signofot5]

I just realized as a fellow larrie that I listened to both Louis’ and Harry’s albums before I even became a directioner and my views were very different before coming into this fandom. 

When I was listening to hs1, especially after ‘Sweet Creature’, I was asking myself “Who is this fucker singing about? Coming back to that person who feels like home, acting as if he’s been married for 30 years now?” So obviously, the first thing I did was research about his relationships, which basically told me that most of H’s relationships lasted for months. So like at first, I was like “Perhaps he’s talking the feeling you get when you first start a relationship.” 

When I listened to hs2, one song in particular, ‘Falling’ didn’t make sense to me. Again, I was confused. Cause while relationships that last for months can hurt you, however, I’m pretty sure relationships that’s lasted for years hurt more. So I was like “Is there someone the media doesn’t know about or am I missing something?” 

But when my ass finally listened to lt1, everything finally made fucking sense. (keep in mind, I still wasn’t a directioner even at this point. My sister was basically just sending some of the band and solo songs and I got a little curious, so I ended up listening to their albums, both in the band and solo) Both of those fuckers were literally writing viewpoints of the same situation. Now this is where doubt kicked in and was like “What if they’re different stories, but they happen to coincidentally write about the same story?” I did more research and I found Elounor. This is when I asked myself “What if it was about Elounor? They both were dating for almost 5 years.” 

My ass who still hasn’t discovered anything about “Larry” believed Louis’ album was about Eleanor, so I kept it to that. However, that still didn’t explain Harry’s albums cause that still left me at a dead end. Eventually, I gave up on it and just left my wondering thoughts. 

It wasn’t until my sister sent me a video about Larry did I start speculating. (I would like to say the video was a Larry proof video for anyone wondering) Now, I was previously in another fandom where I had already encountered plenty of bromances, that usually included two pals just being extremely affectionate with each other. Basically, I didn’t believe in Larry cause I thought they were probably two lads who were affectionate with each other. Now the thoughts to Larry didn’t pop up until I was watching some of 1D’s interviews and video diaries did I notice Louis’ obsession with Mr. Harry Styles. 

At first, it was cute to me until I noticed the obsession in nearly every interview I watched. I then decided to watch a mix of concert videos and interviews and noticed many things. First, in some concert videos, at least from my perspective, it seemed both L and H were aware of each other’s presence based on the fact both were literally avoiding physical collision with each other. Second, both acted differently with each other than they did compared to the other members. While all the lads show they care for one another, the care between L and H seemed different. They were more gentler, softer, and overall treated each other like they both were made of fucking glass. Now this seemed to stand out to me the most and I ended up rewatching several videos just to ensure I making things up. I wasn’t. So at this point, I decided to search up this bond between these two and found an entire fandom made up of people who shipped these two as a couple. I watched some Larry videos and eventually, fell deep into a theory that two men were secretly in a relationship. 

As for the questions I previously had about Harry’s and Louis’ albums, a lot of larrie theories, in my opinion, explained everything I had questions to when I first listened to those three albums. 

[purediamond101]

Season 2 (Olivia Rodrigo)

You had been casted as a new character for season 2 of High school musical the musical the series and were beyond excited.  Today was the day you would meet the rest of the cast, but you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. After all most of them have known and worked with each other for a while. What if they hate you? It could ruin the whole production! All these thoughts ran through your head. You shook it off standing in front of the doors for the school.

You open the door seeing two people standing and waiting. "Hi!!!" Sofia smiles walking up to you.

"Hello," you smile shyly.

"I'm Sofia and this is Matt," Sofia introduces gesturing to her and Matt. 

"I'm Y/N it's nice to meet you," You shake their hands happily. 

"Today the producers wanted everyone to get to know each other better so today is a day off where we can just chill," Matt explains.  

"Oh okay," You nod, shrugging. 

"Come on, we'll introduce you to the others," Sofia grins as you follow them down the hall.

You walked into the room and everyone immediately turns to you. "Guys this is Y/N!" Matt introduces. 

"Hello," You say, shyly.

After introductions your nerves washed away; They're all so nice and genuine. One person that instantly caught your attention was Olivia. From her happy kind personality to her smile.

"Do you guys want to watch a movie? There's a movie projector in one of the teacher lounges," Josh suggested.

"How do you know that?" Matt asks.

"I like adventuring," Josh smiles.

"We do it together," Larry speaks up as you give them an amused look.

"Welp... to the teacher lounge!" Frankie exclaims making you chuckle.

"Whoever is there first gets to pick the movie!" Josh says quickly before running down the hall with the others following while laughing.

You chuckle continuing to walk. "You didn't want to either huh?" Olivia says making you turn to her.

"Yeah," You laugh, nervously. "I'm indecisive."

"Well we can be indecisive together," Olivia smiles, linking arms with you.

You blush, but turn to hide it. One thing you aren't indecisive about is your growing feeling for Olivia. You met her today and you're already crushing? You sigh frowning.

"What's wrong?" Oliva asks, noticing the frown on your face.

You quickly think of a lie before sputtering out, "I am scared they'll play a scary movie," You shrug, "I get scared easily."

"Huh," Olivia nods. "don't worry most of the guys can't handle scary movies either," You both laugh entering the room. The lights were off and everyone was already sitting either on the couches or the floor with blankets.

"Finally!" Matt exclaims. "if you're done making out we would like to start the movie." 

You both sit on the floor next to Sofia and Josh, blushing madly. "Too bad, we weren't," Oliva mutters thinking no one heard her, but you did. 

"w-what?" you stutter, turning to her.

"Oh umm, nothing!" Olivia says, quickly.

Sofia smirks seeing both of your flush expressions; she whispers to Ricky as he smirks nodding. They were planning something and you knew it. But you did not care at the moment.

30 minutes into the movie you start getting tired. Your lids feel heavy and before you know it you were passed out. Not knowing your head was now on Olivia's shoulder. Olivia looks at you and smiles placing her head on top of yours. After about 5 minutes Olivia falls asleep as well.

The movie ends and the lights turn back on, Sofia grins looking at you two. "Guys look how cute they are!" She whispers to everyone.

Everyone turns and looks at you two cuddling on the floor. "I ship!!" Julia squeals.

"Hey, guys how's-" says Tim, the creator of the show. He cuts himself off when he sees Y/N and Olivia snuggling. Tim nods at the others smiling before leaving. "I feel like a matchmaker!"He says to himself.

"Guys," Josh whispers getting everyone's attention. "we should prank them," He smirks, the others nod with smug faces, agreeing. 

10 minutes later and your both drenched in water, jolting awake. "Oh my god!!!" You both shout seeing the others laughing.

"That's what you get for sleeping!" Josh grins.

Getting an idea, you give Olivia a look as she nods. "Your right," Olivia says nodding standing up with you.

"We'll make up to you," you smirk as you both tackle the others making them wet as well as they groan.

"Well, that failed," Matt sighs, now wet too.

"Oh yeah," You grin, high fiving Olivia.

After everyone dries off and gets a new set of clothes you all meet up back at the lounge. "So what do you guys want to do now?" Frankie asks.

  "Oh! Let's do truth or dare!" Sofia smirks, looking at you two making you nervous.

The others agree shrugging as you sigh in defeat. Everyone goes to sit in a circle while you sit between Olivia and Sofia. "Okay! I'll start," Sofia smiles, turning to Y/N. "Y/N, Truth or dare?"

You knew she was up to something so you went with the safe route, "Truth," you sigh seeing Sofia’s smile never faltering.

"Okay!" She grins, "who in this room are you willing to kiss?"

"Oh umm- I..." your face becomes flush as you suddenly find the floor so interesting. "Oliva..." You mutter shyly.

"I'm sorry who?" Josh smirks, obviously knowing who you said.

"Olivia," you say louder.

"Told you, it's a ship." Julia smiles.

You were too scared to look at Olivia and were quick to change the subject. "Larry, truth or dare?"

"Umm dare!" Larry grins.

"I dare you to eat hot sauce," You smile.

"Aw, man!" He groans. "fine."

The continues and everyone was having a blast. Sofia and Josh kissed, Larry, ate hot sauce, Frankie would save Matt over Dara, Julia prank called Kate who was currently sick, and a ton of other things happened.

After the game ends it was getting late so everyone disperse getting ready to leave. "Need a ride?" Olivia asks, noticing you were about to walk home.

"Yeah," You smile softly. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Olivia smiles starting the car.

You had rented an apartment nearby so you could film since you lived a lit further away from the set. In 5 minutes you were already there. As Olivia pulls to a stop.

"Y/n," Olivia starts as you turn to her. "did you mean what you said at truth or dare? About kissing me?"

'crap' you thought. "Umm, yea..." you mutter shyly.

"Out of everyone I would kiss you too," Olivia smiles.

"Really?" You ask surprised.

"Can I try something?"

You tilt your head confused but nodded anyway. Olivia leans in softly giving you a kiss. She pulls away nervously as you were sitting there mouth agape in shock. "H-how was that?" Olivia stutters.

"Good," You nod quickly. "really good," You smile.

"Can we do it again?" Olivia asks smiling.

"Yes please," you say quickly before you both lean in. You smile into the kiss pulling Olivia closer. Season two here you come.

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

-

Alana: Anyone d-

Connor: Depressed?

Jared: Drained?

Evan: Dumb?

Alana: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

-

This one's a bit more?? Um?? Non-kid friendly TTvTT

Zoe: Guys, is having a penis fun?

Connor: It has its ups and downs.

Evan: It's gets a little hard sometimes.

Jared: IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Zoe: Jesus fuck, you guys.

-

Evan: You're a loose cannon, Jared.

Jared: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe. But a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Alana: I think you play by your own rules.

Zoe: No way, he thinks rules were meant to be broken.

Evan: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Jared: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Connor is the real loose cannon.

Connor: *Smashes a chair*

-

Evan, trying to convince Connor to join the group: You know... I just thought it'd be good to have someone to come along who's... strong!

Alana: And loud!

Zoe: And grumpy!

Jared: And oblivious to reality!

Connor:

-

Alana: What did you guys get in your yearbooks?

Zoe: 'Prettiest smile!' :)

Evan: 'Nicest personality!' :)

Jared: 'Most likely to start a bar fight.'

Connor: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.'

-

Zoe: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Evan: Tubular AF!

Alana: Mood to the max!

Connor, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Jared, just as annoyed: If she breathes she's a square.

-

Evan: You KIDNAPPED Connor?! That's illegal!!

Jared: But Evan, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Connor, or destroying our dreams?

Evan: Kidnapping Connor, Jared!!

Zoe: Evan, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these people need you to inspire them!

Evan: What, to KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zoe: To work together!

Evan: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?!?

Jared: Evan, I thought we both agreed, a stoner is not a people.

-

Alana: Evan, stop! This isn't you! You've gone mad with power!

Evan: Well, of course I have.

Evan: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Evan: It's boring.

-

Evan: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Jared: What was that??

Evan: Remorse code.

Jared: I'm even angrier at you now.

-

Connor, high off his ass: I'm at least 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Evan: But 10 times 0 is just 0.

Zoe: Then I guess the jokes on you, because he can't do math.

-

Jared: I can explain.

Evan: Can you?

Jared: If you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

-

Jared: If you were to vacuum up jello, it'd make a neat noise.

Evan: I beg to differ.

Jared: Then beg.

-

Jared: This is such a bad idea.

Evan: Then why are you coming along?

Jared: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this all goes terribly wrong.

-

Connor: *Accidentally hits Jared in the face*

Connor: *Can't decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry', and 'Are you okay'*

Connor: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??

Evan: What is wrong with you?!

-

Evan: This is bothering me.

Jared: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Evan: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

-

Jared: You're the love of my life, and my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Evan: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Jared: Absolutely not.

-

Jared: I was arrested for being too cool.

Connor: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

-

Jared: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Evan: You and me.

Jared, tearing up: Okay.

-

Jared: God, give me patience.

Connor: I think you mean strength.

Jared: If God gave me strength, then you'd be double dead.

-

Connor: I prevented a murder today.

Alana: Really? How did you do that?

Connor: Self control.

-

Jared: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Evan: Name one law.

Jared: Don't kill people?

Evan: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

-

Alana: Whaddaya call a fish with no eye?

Jared, not looking up from his phone: Myxine Circifrons.

Alana:

Alana: A fsh

-

Evan: I turned out perfectly fine!

Zoe: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast!

Evan: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN, Y O U DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN-

-

Jared: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Evan: Anything, honestly. But nerds especially.

Jared, desperately as Evan bleeds out: YOUR B L O O D TYPE

Evan: Oh! B positive.

Jared: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP, JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Evan:

-

Evan: It's dark in here...

Jared: Don't worry dude, I've got this

Jared: *Stomps his foot on the ground*

Jared: *Heelies light up*

-

Evan: Treat spiders the way YOU want to be treated!

Jared: Killed without hesitation.

Alana & Evan, simultaneously: nO-

-

Miguel: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Connor: Okay?

Miguel: And make out during the scary parts.

Connor: The-

Connor: The scary parts-

Connor: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

-

Evan: Can you PLEASE be serious for 5 minutes??

Jared: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

-

Evan: So that's my plan.

Jared: Are you fine with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Evan: Sure, go ahead.

Jared: It fucking sucks.

Evan: That's not constructive criticism.

-

Jared: Fuck.

Alana: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jared: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

-

Connor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Evan: What did you do-?

Connor: A MISTAKE-

-

Larry, with his back turned: I've been expecting you.

Connor: How did you do that without turning around?

Larry: I'm gonna be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

-

Evan: How petty can you get??

Jared: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

-

Jared: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Alana: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Jared: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

-

Jared: May I sit there?

Evan: That's my lap.

Jared: That doesn't answer my question, Evan.

-

Jared: So.. are we flirting right now?

Connor: I'm LITERALLY stabbing you.

Jared:

Jared: That does not answer the question

-

Aftermath of the last one- lmfao-

Evan: I'm begging you, please go to the hospital-

Jared: Oh, i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-

Jared: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Connor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?

Jared: The fact that I have to specify...

-

Evan: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Connor: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once. In Monopoly.

-

Evan: Your right.

Jared: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Jared: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Connor, high: Wednesay.

Jared: Not what I had in mind, but i'm flexible.

-

Alana: Man.. I only ever see you awake. Don't you ever shut down or stop running?

Jared: Oh, i'm always running.

Jared: The question is from what.

-

Evan: Top 30 reasons why Evan is super sorry! ..Number 5 might surprise you!

Jared: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!

[candles-are-now-illegal]

Little White Planes (John/F!Rook)

Spacing night be off cause I'm posting from my phone. (I'll fix it and any spelling or grammar mistakes later... It's 6:30am). I didn't know what else to call this.

Also John is ooc because I make him too soft 🥺

My first Far Cry 5 fic/piece.

_____________

His radio crackling to life is what woke him. The voice coming from it is what made him sit up sharply.

"John? You awake? Please tell me this is your frequency… John?"

"Well this is an unusual surprise. Can't sleep, Deputy?"

"Is it safe to assume those little planes on your coat aren't just a questionable fashion choice?" she asked, making him frown.

"Did you call me in the middle of the night just to insult my clothing?"

"No. I have a perfectly good reason for calling you."

"And what might that be?"

"I may or may not have... stolen a plane."

"May or may not have?!" He couldn't help the laugh that broke through the sentence. "Do you even know how to fly one?"

"Yeah, of course, I just wanted to talk about the weather up here!" Her tone light and playful then switched to sharp and angry. "Why the fuck do you think I'm calling you?!"

"Okay, the sass is neither necessary nor appreciated."

"John. Help. Me. Land," she growled. He sighed as he got up and slipped on his shoes and coat. If he let her die he'd never hear the end of it from Joseph.

"Alright, alright. Where are you?"

"Wher-? Where am I? The sky, John!"

"Yes, I know that part." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Where are you in relation to the ground?" he asked before quickly pressing the talk button again. "And don't say up!" He heard her let out a mix of a groan and a sigh before she answered.

"I don't know!" He could hear the panic and tension in her voice.

"Take a breath. You're obviously within distance to contact my radio. Look down, what do you see?"

"I'm kinda trying to avoid looking down, thanks!"

"Afraid of heights, Rook? Maybe don't steal a plane. Just an idea."

"I'm not afraid!" She snapped back almost immediately.

"Ah, that's your pride talking, Deputy. Something else we have to talk about."

"Fine, you wanna know how fucking scared I am? I'm terrified okay! I hate heights, I hate planes! I'm only doing this cause you had it in the first place!" This made him frown.

"Wait, you stole my plane?!"

"I stole Nick's plane back. Get over it and help me! … Please, John. I don't wanna die." He froze as her voice broke. "I know my death wouldn't even affect you. Hell, it would help your stupid project to have me gone…"

John grabbed the keys to his car and started making his way up and out of the bunker. He'd stayed there as opposed to his ranch after a long day of confessions. A decision he regretted seeing as this let Rook sneak in and steal a plane without getting caught.

"None of us want you dead, Deputy." She let out a scoff. "If you want me to help you, I need to know where you are. You've got the plane up and flying, as long as you keep steady, looking down isn't going to suddenly change that."

"Uh .. Falls End is kinda far but I can see it. I think that's… uh… Larry's place?"

"Think you can make it back to my hanger?"

"Rather not get shot on sight, thanks."

"There's a big field west of Fall's End. North of that crop circle."

"Yeah I see it. Why can't you just tell me how to land it at Nick's? He has a runway."

"I'd also rather not get shot on sight, thank you very much."

"Wha- okay fine just get me down."

...

He managed to talk her through the steps and as he arrived at the field he saw the yellow plane slowly descending.

"Good. Good. Nice and easy." He stepped out of his vehicle as she flew slowly overhead, a moment later touching down with a jolt in the empty field. As he jogged to the plane he explained how to fully shut it down and made it to the plane just as she popped the door open. "Woah!" She jumped down, almost tripping in her rush to get out of the plane, and he caught her by her biceps as she landed in front of him. He chuckled at her startled expression upon seeing him but he gave her a soft smile. "You're alright."

"You're here." She blinked at his face then looked down. "Are those… planes on your PJs?" He sighed at the smile coming to her face.

"Yes." He rolled his eyes at her snicker. "They were a gift."

"Sure they were." She smiled up at him and he swallowed. A moment later she shocked him by suddenly hugging him. Her arms wrapping tightly around his middle. He slowly returned the hug. "Thank you, John." She whispered into his shoulder.

"Of course." He let his chin rest on the top of her head as his eyes closed. A small, silent, content sigh escaped him. She gave him a squeeze, signaling the end of the hug, and he reluctantly released her. She took a step back from him and he subconsciously frowned. She glanced in the direction of his car that he'd left running, driver's side door wide open.

"So, you gonna tie me up now?" He blinked at her as his eyebrows shot up.

"I-..."

"Just figured this is a perfect opportunity for you to try and get me to confess again," she continued with a shrug. "We both know I won't. But it's better than getting shot with bliss bullets and dragged to you."

"Oh. Yes. I-I mean no. That's not why I'm here." He let out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's late. As you can see, I'm not really dressed for confessions at the moment." He made a big gesture down at his clothes making her grin. "And I'm sure you're tired after all that."

"Almost dying in a plane will do that to ya."

"You didn't almost die. You were fine." He rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face.

"Yeah, I guess. Had a good co-pilot." She winked at him. She actually winked at him. He let out a breathy chuckle before he cleared his throat.

"Can I.. drive you somewhere? Doesn't feel right just leaving you in the middle of a field so late. No tricks. Just a ride."

"I'm a big girl, John." She put her hands on her hips.

"Of course-"

"But you better." John blinked as she started towards his car. He followed, after a moment of staring. "Feel bad leaving the plane here but Nick knows I'm not a pilot."

"And yet he had you steal his plane back?"

"He didn't wanna leave Kim by herself."

"Of course," John muttered with a frown. Rook hopped into the passenger's seat as John slid into the driver's.

"Heated seats. Fancy. Though not surprising."

"What's wrong with wanting to be comfortable?" he asked with a frown.

"Nothing. Nothing." Her eyes landed on the bobble plane on the dashboard. "This your personal car?" she asked with a chuckle as she poked the toy.

"Yes," he said as he lightly swatted her hand away.

"Cute." He ignored her and started to pull the car back to the road.

"Seatbelt." She rolled her eyes. "Aren't you a cop?" She clicked the seatbelt on before turning to look at him. He glanced at her after a moment of her just staring. "What?"

"You came alone."

"Yes."

"You really didn't wanna use this as an opportunity to capture me." It almost sounded like a question, like she couldn't believe it.

"Is it so hard to believe I wanted to make sure you landed safely? I'm not heartless."

"No, just a sadist." He opened his mouth to reply but stopped himself, but only for a moment.

"I'm starting to think you're a masochist." She laughed aloud at that; John found himself smiling.

"What's the phrase 'glutton for punishment'?"

"Is that a confession?"

"You wish." She let out a scoff. He hummed but gave no other reply.

"Where am I taking you?" he asked.

"Hmm… where won't you get shot?"

"Why don't you give Nick a call? Tell him where his plane is. He can get it while you stay with Kim."

"And you don't think he'll shoot you?" He didn't have to turn his head to know she was looking at him like he'd gone crazy.

"I won't drive right up to the front door."

"You're supposed to kiss your date at the door, not make them walk 500 feet to it." He chuckled. "That's not how you're supposed to get a girl's heart racing."

"Is there another sin I should be considering adding to your list, Deputy?"

"Oh please, buy me dinner first then we'll see about lust."

"Dinner wouldn't be the first date," he said without missing a beat.

"Oh yeah?" she sounded intrigued. For some reason this made his chest flutter.

"Flying lessons."

"Oh hell no." She let out a laugh. "If you think you're getting me back in a plane you're outta your mind, Johnny." The two laughed together.

"You don't trust me?" he asked. "As your pilot," he quickly added. "What happened to me being a good co-pilot?"

"Flying lessons on the ground, sure. You want me in the air again, I better be in the backseat with a parachute." Maybe she didn't mean to imply that she trusted him with her life as a pilot but that's how he was going to take it.

"Might take you up on that." He glanced over to see her smiling. "That's not an invitation to steal anymore planes."

"Didn't even cross my mind."

As they grew closer to the Rye's airstrip, Rook called Nick on the radio. She explained where she left the plane and that she was heading back so she could stay with Kim while he went to get it. Nick, of course, understood and let her know he appreciated that she at least got it back for him.

John pulled over to the side of the road at the end of the runway. Rook opened her door but stopped and turned back to him.

"Hey John," she started. He watched her. "Thank you. Really, I mean it." The smile she gave him made his chest tighten.

"Of course." He returned the smile. She leaned back into her seat.

"Bring this John to my confession." She poked him playfully in the chest. His smile grew and he had to actively stop himself from stopping her as she finally climbed out of the car.

"Goodnight, Rook."

________________

__________

This kinda just kept going and I didn't know how or where to end it… was probably way out of character for John so sorry about that but the idea came to me so I wrote it. This is my first FC5 piece.

Again it's 6:30 am. I still need to reread this to fix little mistakes but I wanted to share it cause I haven't posted any writing stuff in so long.

[signalwatch]

HalloWatch: Werewolf of London (1935) Watched:  10/29/2023 Format:  BluRay Viewing:  First Director:  Stuart Walker Every year, Jamie and I each carve a jack 'o lantern.  Usually we put on a movie something we've seen before, often a comedy or horror-comedy.  But this year I squeezed in one of my Halloween bucket movies for the year, but I can only say I *partially* watched this one, because I was also carving a pumpkin and then cleaning up the aftermath. this year's effort.  Jamie's Dracula on the left, my ghoul on the right I had just never gotten around to Werewolf of London (1935), which is a bit of a surprise even to me.  I am a fan of Lon Chaney's take on The Wolfman that would pop up 5 years later, but I never make it through the rest of the werewolf films in the box set.  I'm trying to get a picture of 1930's and 40's horror, one Halloween at a time, and have tried to watch offerings from Universal and RKO.  Also, I exist in the same world as Warren Zevon, so you'd think I'd eventually just be curious to see the damn movie. The plot is nowhere near as tight as The Wolfman, and the performances not as punctuated.  But that doesn't mean it doesn't have anything to offer.  I liked the make-up, the transformation FX, and the general idea of the story.   Scientists visit Tibet to find a flower they've heard only blooms in moonlight, and while securing the plant, are attacked by a werewolf.  Returned home, renowned biologist, Wilfred Glendon, begins acting anti-social and ignoring his wife (played by Bride of Frankenstein's Valerie Hobson), who just happens to have her childhood boyfriend show up at the same time.  A doctor Yogami appears and is also looking for the flower, which he says alleviates the symptoms of werewolfery.   Anyway, mayhem ensues, the doctors both are werewolves, etc... All in all, it's really not bad, but the lead - unlike most Universal films - doesn't really have a sympathetic motivation in the same way we see Larry Talbot - a victim of chance.  There's a dash more Jekyll and Hyde to the story than in the case of The Wolfman, but not enough to get hung up on thinking it's borrowing too heavily.    In general, it's an okay movie.  I didn't dislike it, and will watch it again with my full attention.  A highlight was seeing Valerie Hobson in another movie shot at literally the same time as Bride of Frankenstein, but given far more to do.  She's good!   But, yeah, I need to watch it again next year to say much more.  But I've 100% seen far worse. https://ift.tt/NGfXmyb via The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/blOI23g October 30, 2023 at 09:03AM

[a-day-in-the-life-of-a-brotha]

4-27-21 The end of a 12 day shift

4:22 a.m. I woke up at 4 a.m. but I stayed laid down thinking about all the things I needed to do. Pack a bag (I’m going to spend the night with Dani...well nights) cut my hair, and, manicure myself. I also have to prepare myself for work. “Shit, what am I packing” I exclaimed to the still air. Sometimes it’s weird when nobody is there ie; my children my mother. Dani sent a text “Good Morning my Love”...Ditto.

5:21 a.m. I leave the house...too late to go to McDonald’s to get 2 round egg and cheese biscuits and a large sweet tea with a little bit of ice. But my addiction to cigarettes does lead me to 7-11 to get a pack, even though I’m running late for work.

Frustration #1 So the cashier that’s normally there, ain’t there, thank goodness, however it’s a new guy...not new but not the normal early shift guy. He’s slow, I’m late, and there are many amigos in line. “Newport 100 box brother”....quick exchange and we are done. So in this instance it’s truly not an outside frustration...it’s me that’s frustrated that I am compelled to go to this job, just to make money, so I can maintain food, shelter and clothing for my loved ones. I’m a slave, all of these things should be free. I’m getting under compensated and overpaying for living....yes...just for living.

5:50 a.m. Work. It’s Tuesday...my Friday. I’m exhausted already, pained to be at this workhouse/plantation, anticipating the days end (I’m going to meet Dani). As I walk up and get settled in my work station, the jones (talking shit) begins..”You on the phone?” says my short bus patron co-worker...I head nod to confirm his thought. He still finds a way to come over to me to draw my energy which sooo many people seem to do as of late. “You be proper as shit when you’re on the phone...then gangsta as shit when you get off”...says the man that just two weeks ago hurled words that would provoke me to smack him with the bricks I call my hands on the street...but we was at work, so it’s a bunch of bullshit he’s spewing. I laughed, “It’s true brother, I am proper on the phone with my lady!” What he doesn’t know is that when I’m relaxed, I’m proper, shit I’ve studied this language so much, I’ve mastered it...so I use it. You can only go as far as your thoughts take you...so if you have a limited vocabulary that’s how far you’re going. I know I know, it’s the white mans language, but I’m from here, and it’s the only language I’m well versed in. Espanol...un pocito!!

7:00 a.m. The arrival of Omar. My friend. We are almost 30 years in as friends. “What’s up big guy” he says...”What’s up O” says me. We are both strong headed men, and about the only two people at this job that are not afraid to lose it. That characteristic trait sets us apart from the sheep at this place that are scared to speak up for themselves, instead for some of them, we will speak up. Do me and O bump heads...hell yeah. But we’ve come to a point where we can gauge each other...and we now know when and how to stay away from each other, with no hard feelings. One time we were arguing at work, a dude came to try to calm us down, we simultaneously shut that nigga down...and retired outside to squash it. Work ensues...

12:00 p.m. After Lunch. I was called in the office. Ok I fudged some numbers on the diesel gas pump for the buses I service...a couple of buses mileage was off. Who cares right? The supervisor does...Dave. He’s an older white guy that is accustomed to talking to black men any way he wants. Not me though...our first run in was our last. “LARRY to the office” on the loud speaker he says. I go... and he starts to raise his voice as if I were a child.

Frustration #2 Although this instance didn’t happen on this day, I’m getting frustrated by merely thinking about it. When Dave gets to yelling (mind you this is the 2nd of two caucasian supervisors I’ve ever had, I’m 45) all I hear is the “Blah Blah Blah...aggression aggression aggression”...I meet aggression with aggression...I don’t fight fire fire with fire...I fight fire with water. “Dave, when you raise your voice at me, I can’t hear you, AND all I get is angry.” He quickly stopped, apologized and let me calmly know what the ailment was. Nonetheless on this day, I got called in the office, informed about the challenge and I said I would fix it. He went on this soliloquy as to how and why it needs to fixed. I’m smarter than him, but I get paid less...I already knew how to solve the problem. It gives me hives, listening to idiots...

2:30 p.m. The Anticipation of Dani. I’m off work...my anxiety is on 100...I’m not having a good day, but I’m going straight to Dani...I miss her, but I’m anxious about sex...we haven’t done that yet. I rush to her, she gets off at 2:45, but she’s 45 mins away in Baltimore, and I don’t want her to be waiting too long. “What’s up babe...how was your day” says she, whilst on the speakerphone in my car. I’m completely honest with her “I’m not having a good day.” Now I don’t want to not have a good day, shit I’m about to see her, my love, my buxom enchantress, but I must be real and honest...it’s the basis of our relationship. I get there.

3:30 p.m. Dani and the food reviewer “Big Schlim.” I arrive, a hug and kiss ensued, we are both exhausted but glad to be in each other’s presence. “How was your day Dani?” “It was ok” she said and then goes in on the length of her time at work and how she was amped to get out of there (anytime you feels this way about employment, it’s definitely slave work). Normally I already have a spot that I want to go review, today I didn’t. Soooo off to MyMammasVegan to get them delicious ass honey ol bay fried cauliflower bites. In the intern I’ll figure out what we will be eating. As we rode, my guard was let down, I don’t have to defend myself with her, she is a part of my solace. We got the bites, we went to the spot, we people watched and joned on folks...laughter and her...got me through. Let’s go home...

I forgot to mention Friends...how many of us have them. Malika...well..here’s the text I sent... Good Day Malika. I truly hope that you are in a harmonious space to receive and wholeheartedly digest this message. I’ll start by saying that I love you, and I am honored to truly call you and think of you as a real friend.

I’m sending this message to set up some boundaries for me, with you. I will no longer accept you yelling at me out of frustration. I will no longer accept you hanging up the phone abruptly out of frustration. As a long time friend I expect support for my endeavors. A like, a share, a comment on the new ventures I have, are simple but effective gestures to show support and cost nothing. I noticed, a while back, that the things I was posting on my IG pages were getting no support from you. That was truly disappointing. Even the IKEA post that you called me about wasn’t liked by you, and if you truly read it, you would’ve known what that “Pink Shit” was. That call you made to me also showed a complete disregard for my schedule. I’ve relayed to you several times that I work the early morning hours...and you seem to “forget” or you just simply don’t care. Also...for the last 4 years I’ve noticed a pattern amongst my “friends”....none of you know my children. Initially I was riddled with guilt behind this, thinking that was on ME to bring them around more often. But wait a minute...you know where I live, I’ve had the same number for years, at ANY time you could’ve called and came by to chill with them...do ANYTHING with them (pre Covid). They’ve received nothing from you...nothing....your occasional presence is free. They are almost 15 and if they see you on the street...they won’t know you...and that’s not on me. I sat back and waited to see what was going to happen...nothing. So Malika, I must set up some healthy boundaries with you, these behaviors for you hurt me, and I will no longer allow that to happen, especially to my children who don’t know you for real. Ian remaining your lifelong friend...period....I ask you to respect me in the aforementioned manner going forward, and this text is not meant for you to rebuttal, it’s for you to know, and for me to release. Thank you for being around for 30.

6:30’ish Home. Dani’s House. We finally arrived. This is where I end. Me and her at home are private...I just know that I’m meant to be with her...my wife.

[itsdlevy]

I’ve now seen all eight of the films Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy made together, so naturally I must rank them. I note that none of them are bad, but they more or less divide into three tiers of superb, great, and good. 

(While most of them ostensibly based on stage operettas, each and every one takes enough liberties with their source material that I am not going to bother to note it individually. Just know that none of these stay particularly true to their ancestors.)

1. New Moon (1940)

If you were only ever going to watch one film adaptation of an operetta in your life, it should be this one. It has fancy French ball gowns, the Louisiana bayou, pirates, a desert island, both a princess and a duke in disguise, and a number of timeless hit songs you’ll likely recognize even if you don’t think you know any songs from operetta, like “Lover Come Back To Me,” “Softly, As In A Morning Sunrise,” and “Stouthearted Men.” 

2. Rose Marie (1936)

A love letter to French Canada with the best cinematic mounties you’ll find (sorry, Dudley Do-Right). The cinematography is gorgeous. The songs, including the title number and “Indian Love Call” are classic. Jimmy Stewart has a small but impactful role. Its treatment of First Nations people has not aged well, although it’s aged better than the 1954 remake’s. 

3. Bitter Sweet (1940)

Jeanette looks radiant in technicolor, and what remains of Noel Coward in the script is ideal for her talents. It’s shocking that the film cut “If Love Were All” but Nelson and Jeanette make the most of “I’ll See You Again,” and the film feels like it has more music than others they made together. The story isn’t deep, but they make the most of it and I found the climax suitably surprising.

4. Naughty Marietta (1935)

I wonder if this might have landed higher on my list had I seen it before I watched The New Moon, because they share quite a few plot points. (French aristocrats undercover in America seem fated to be together.) The Victor Herbert songs are classics, some of which (“I’m Falling In Love With Someone” and “Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life”) you will recognize because they got interpolated into the stage version of  Thoroughly Modern Millie.

5. Girl of the Golden West (1938)

Not an adaptation of the Puccini opera, but rather an original for-the-screen operetta adapted from the same play that Puccini worked from. It’s a fun Western love story, a little reminiscent of Calamity Jane, with a score that might be second-tier Romburg, but second-tier Romburg is still pretty great.

6. Maytime (1937)

This adaptation of a Romburg stage hit inexplicably threw out the original story to use what was essentially the story of Bitter Sweet – which would end up posing a challenge for MGM when they got around to filming that one a couple of years later. This is a pleasant film, but the most memorable thing about it is a truly stunning credits sequence in which all the credits are formed by blooming flowers floating in a river. (I wish that was on YouTube.)

(Apparently five is the maximum number of videos Tumblr will allow me to embed in one post, so if you’ve made it this far and want a preview, you’ll have to click over to another window to see this.)

7. Sweethearts (1938)

I wanted to like this one so more much than I did. It’s a clever method for filming a musical (that I’ve seen repeated elsewhere): there’s a new backstage framing story about married starts who have been appearing together in a hit show for six years, and the schemes of the producer and writers to keep them on stage when Hollywood comes to call. Unfortunately, I liked the framing device more than the show-within-a-show which bogged the whole thing down. Unfortunately, the song I think of when I hear “Sweetheart” is “Sweetheart, Will You Remember” which is from Maytime. None of the songs from this film stuck with me. It does look great in color, though! (Here’s a sample.)

8. I Married an Angel (1942)

The last and the least of their collaborations, this film version of the Rodgers & Hart Broadway hit was hobbled by the censors. Originally written as a film in the 30s, it was deemed too racy (and blasphemous) for Hollywood, so Dick and Larry bought back the rights and took it to New York. By the time Hollywood got it back, none of the underlying issues were resolved, so we get a toothless version missing some of the best songs and transforming the central plot into an extended dream sequence. Still, it has some great Rodgers & Hart tunes and gorgeous sets and costumes, and it’s closer to the original than quite a few other Rodgers & Hart film adaptations (lookin’ at you, Babes in Arms). (Here’s a sample.)