#me and my inability to remember to post here

[sunshinenextdoor]

Sorry for the inactivity!!

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[pathologicalreid]

𖤓 margotober masterlist 𖤓

in an act of insurmountable indecisiveness, i couldn't choose between flufftober, angstober, and kinktober. naturally, the only solution was to find a way to participate in all three. previews will be posted a week at a time because my indecisiveness extends to my inability to choose what fics to post.

fluff 𖤓 angst 𖤓 smut

october 1st - caretaker

↳ in which you take care of your fiercely independent boyfriend after he gets shot in the knee

october 2nd - always, i'll wait

↳ in which Spencer dedicates himself to pulling you out of your depressive state

october 3rd - wake me from this dream

↳ in which you've been struggling to come to terms with the kiss between Spencer and Cat, and you've finally reached your breaking point

october 4th - with your hands tied

↳ in which you and Spencer continue your kink education, with a hands off approach

october 6th - the build up

↳ in which you and Spencer spend an entire day just waiting to make it to the hotel room

october 7th - what to expect

↳ in which you find yourself frustrated at the end of your pregnancy, and Spencer talks you off a ledge

october 8th - kryptonite

↳ in which all roads lead to Spencer's apartment, at least they do for jareau!reader

october 9th - don't get dark

↳ in which you disclose an attack to Spencer, and he assures you he's not going anywhere

october 10th - cocoon

↳ in which your life is put in danger during an otherwise routine case, and you haven't even told Spencer about the baby

october 11th - diphenhydramine

↳ in which reader has a hard time getting to sleep at night, leading to Spencer's step by step instruction of which hormones help you fall asleep

october 12th - all we ever do is talk

↳ in which Spencer and wife!reader fear they're getting boring, so the BAU sets them up with a hotel suite for Spencer's birthday

october 14th - sanctuary

↳ in which hotchner!reader reunites with the BAU after her time in WITSEC

october 15th - pyrophoric

↳ in which Spencer seeks the help of a chemist to help with his research into white phosphorous

october 16th - wavelength

↳ in which your son ends up in the hospital on one of the BAUs busiest nights of the year

october 17th - heart to heart

↳ in which hotchner!reader is set to have heart surgery, and Spencer can't help but be concerned for her

october 18th - love song for lady earth

↳ in which reader has her first experience with munch!spencer

october 19th - home run

↳ in which Spencer and jareau!reader finally get the opportunity to take the next step in their relationship

october 21st - ode to a conversation stuck in your throat

↳ in which Spencer tries to talk you out of taking a job across the country

october 22nd - here with me

↳ four times Spencer feels out of place in your house after being released from prison, and one time it's like he never left

october 23rd - burn notice

↳ in which your workplace is targeted by a group of extremists, and Spencer tries everything to keep you safe

october 24th - lock and key

↳ in which an act of violence - and subsequent serious injury - brings the truth to the surface and initiates a change

october 25th - in an arrow heart

↳ in which Spencer finds himself distracted by you during an otherwise routine outing to O'Keefe's

october 26th - come a little closer

↳ in which you and Spencer have sex for the first time since his release from prison, and more importantly, since Cat told him what happened in Mexico

october 28th - little duck

↳ in which Spencer is too excited about his first Halloween as a dad to remember he's supposed to be celebrating his birthday

october 29th - missed calls

↳ in which Spencer answers Hotch's daughter's phone when he calls to check in after a case

october 30th - prisoner

↳ in which you and Spencer conduct a custodial interview with a death row inmate - Spencer's first since he was released

october 31st - hysteria

↳ in which the BAU is called into a case in rural Appalachia when bodies start showing up in an abandoned insane asylum

[astonmartinii]

big reputation | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader

they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era

(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)

MASTERLIST | TIPS

f1newsandgossip

liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others

f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?

view all comments

user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave

user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes

user5: would he want to be a second driver though?

user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team

user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore

user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin

user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad

user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media

user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is

user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own

user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them

user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, charles_leclerc and 1,309,556 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: you and me got a big reputation

view all comments

user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA

user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(

charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?

yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown

charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything

yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?

charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.

user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???

alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two

yourusername: NEVER

charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?

alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here

maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)

yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)

maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick

charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen

alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons

user17: gosh y/n is so sexy

user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave

user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari

charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her

user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

charles_leclerc

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername and 1,204,509 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start

view all comments

user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.

user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner

yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA

charles_leclerc: excuse me?

yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think

charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing

yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie

user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?

user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper

liked by yourusername

user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?

user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out

pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n

charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?

charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that

user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?

user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral

user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing

user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO

yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/

user29: I'M CRYING

user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that

scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪

user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE

liked by yourusername

user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle

user33: TELL THEM SIS

f1

liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract

view all comments

user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg

user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE

user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?

user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense

pierregasly: WHAT ?????????

user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?

user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION

liked by yourusername

user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?

user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver

liked by carlossainz55

user44: not carlos liking this comment

yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face

user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT

carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it

yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants

user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER

redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES

user47: admin what is going on?

redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust

user48: so real of you

maxverstappen1: ☕️

user49: LMAO KING

yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?

view all comments

user51: momma does not play oh my

taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍

yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother

charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?

taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out

landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(

danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise

user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO

user53: as she should

charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU

yourusername: i love you even more

charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE

yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand

charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny

alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH

user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now

user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL

user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?

yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements

user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue

yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season

user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.

maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?

yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)

charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull

maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY

yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.

view all comments

user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari

user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP

user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL

yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is

user62: subtle DRAG

charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn

yourusername: you're my invisible string

yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade

user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm

yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald

charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back

sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....

charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)

maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?

christianhorner: and me?

charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me

yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT

maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two

christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already

yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous

redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT

user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES

pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me

yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR

yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre

charles_leclerc: thank you pierre

pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???

charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?

christianhorner: definitely brief PR

note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!

EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS

[goldsainz]

# DREW STARKEY — THAT HOLLYWOOD TYPE OF LOVE !

MASTERLIST !

001. SUMMARY !

✯ who would believe a fashion show would be the place to spark a romance?

002. NOTE !

✯ first drew fic so please leave some feedback😁 also i love taylor so much like you guys don’t even understand. this also ended up longer than expected so excuse me and my inability to know when to end fics💔

liked by drewstarkey, francolapinto and 1,682,945 others

yourusername fashion icon, yay or nay?

view all 25,174 comments

ynfan1 MOTHERRRR

drewfan1 drew liking….. we see you king

carlaciagrant Oh. My. God.

⤷ yourusername i love you so much

⤷ drewfan2 HELLO?????

ynfan2 how does she always look so good

ynfan3 serving face like it’s her duty

drewfan3 drew liked… laci liked… thinking thoughts

⤷ ynfan4 never thought i’d get a yn and obx crossover

ynfan5 FASHION ICON YAY YAY YAY

francofan1 franco get out of here LMAO

drewfan4 need to know what drew is doing here

ynfan6 why are yall talking about a man under my queen’s post

⤷ ynfan7 no fr i’m so annoyed rn

drewstarkey and yourusername updated their instagram stories!

liked by madelyncline, drewfan21, and 108,476 others

yndrewupdates drew and yn arriving together at a restaurant in paris!

view all 1,620 comments

yndrewupdates MADELYN LIKED WTFFF

⤷ drewfan22 girl how are you alive

⤷ yndrewupdates I DON’T KNOW I’M STILL SCREAMING

ynfan21 wait are they matching that’s so cute

drewfan23 as a drew and harry fan i am conflicted

⤷ drewfan24 bruh… enjoy this and shut up

ynfan22 oh she’s taking it

drewfan25 when i’m in a power couple competition and they show up

⤷ ynfan23 LMAOOO i fear they’d win by a mile

ynfan24 shh guys we gotta keep quiet

liked by ynfan31, drewfan31 and 76,802 others

ynupdates YN at the ‘Queer’ premiere in Los Angeles (November 13, 2024)

view all 1,523 comments

ynfan32 OMGGGG

drewfan32 wait is she matching drew or am i tweaking

⤷ drewfan33 she is!!!!

⤷ drewfan32 talk about maximising a joint slay

ynfan33 oh so it’s OFFICAL official

ynfan34 never not serving

ynfan35 THAT DRESS HAS ME DEADDD😩

drewfan34 don’t know if i wanna be him or her

ynfan36 i’m going insane

⤷ ynfan37 so so real

drewfan35 remember when it was just a crossover at a loewe show… what a time

yourusername and drewstarkey updated their instagram stories!

[bad-comic-art]

As someone who fell into the vveritas man hole slightly before you started posting about it, I am waiting on tenterhooks for you to bring up vvertias man's love interest. Her being hated by feminists because it's 'unfair she keeps winning' has me in near hysterics every time it's brought up.

you know what I'm kind of glad you sent this because Melissa Krugger doesn't actually show up in any of the comics (well she got a oner but Weritas man isn't in it) so this give me a chance to talk about her!

so first off I do have to say it does take the wind out of the sails of the whole things because she's likely a stand in for a real life, possibly underage girl (he age is stated multiple times as too young for Weritas Man and that they'll be together "in a few years" but never explicitly underage), Leal is attracted to or I guess at best some kind of teenage girl sex tulpa so if you're uncomfortable about that you can stop here and know she doesn't appear in pretty much any other Weritas man stuff

in Leal's own incoherent ramblings words

Melissa Krugger, young tennis player who never loses, never lost. Granddaughter of Edwin.

Melissa is a little bit crosseyed and toothy, but very beautiful. Apparently she has a perfect life, she’s very rich, has a perfect body and is the best tennis player ever, a rising star entering in the professional athletes at this time, but SJW seeks to turn her life in hell because they don’t tolerate someone who never lost a match.

Melissa will fall in love with Camilo, but he won’t do anything until she got a little bit older, that’s the biggest problem for her heart.

I'm going to put more random pictures under the cut (there's so many more but these are some of the better ones where he's not just drawing her with her big ol' bubble butt out) but yea she's basically an expressions of some of Leal's defining traits, his extreme hornyness, his zealotry, his vague unfocused hatred and deep inability to understand or process the world around him

also here's probably my all time favorite Weritas man picture

I don't want to support his A.I. nonsense but this is unfortunately hilarious I'd love to see his prompts

that's her and the lead singer of Echosmith, you may remember their hit song Cool Kids

[linkspooky]

ONCE MORE, I THINK I'LL LIVE FOR OTHERS

So of all the characters in Jujutsu Kaisen Megumi has turned out to be one of the most controversial and hotly debated characters. There's nothing the internet hates more than a boy with trauma, I guess. Jujutsu Kaisen is a controversial work in general so it's not surprising that the ending wasn't super well received by the fans, especially in the way it decided to conclude Megumi's character arc.

There are many people accusing Gege of giving Megumi no character development. Of Megumi just choosing to replace Tsumiki with Yuji. Lots of complaints about Megumi never finishing his domain expansion among other things. Of Megumi being nothing more than a damsel for Yuji to rescue in the end. I'm here to say I think Megumi does have a complete character arc even if it didn't end the way I would have liked, and under the cut I'll be giving my thoughts for Megumi's ending and JJK's ending in general.

I CAN ONLY SAVE THOSE WHO ARE PREPARED TO BE SAVED

If you were to ask me what the most important arc in Jujutsu Kaisen is, it would be Hidden Inventory. Hidden Inventroy covers the inciting incident which leads to all the conflicts in the main story, Riko's death, Geto's defection, Tengen's merger failing, and Gojo's decision to adopt Megumi.

However, it also shows us what motivates Gojo in the main series, mainly his desire to raise this generation of students into strong and intelligent allies because of his inability to save his closest friend when it most counted.

If the quote that summarizes the central theme of Jujutsu Kaisen Zero is "Love is the most twisted curse of them all."

Then I put forward that the quote that summarizes the theme of the main series is what Gojo said to Yaga post Geto's defection, "Being strong isn't enough, I can only save those who are prepared to be saved."

Just like Hidden Inventory is centered around Geto and Gojo's relationship in their youth, the main manga itself centers around Megumi and Itadori's relationship. The manga itself starts with their first meeting. Yuji devours the finger in order to try to help Megumi. Megumi requests Gojo help save Yuji from execution because he didn't want to see another good person die.

Megumi and Itadori are also a deliberate parallel to Geto and Gojo's friendship in the past. To begin with Gojo tried to nurture these relatoinships in his students so they COULD get along and enjoy their youths the way he remembers doing so with Geto in his three springtime of youth.

He not only encourages Megumi to selfishly try to save Yuji even though it is against the rules of sorcery and poses a risk to other people, he also encourages them to socialize at every opportunity.

The strong and intense friendship that Megumi and Yuji enjoy is not only a clear parallel to Geto and Gojo's special connection with one another, but also the fact that a strong reocurring motif in Megumi and Yuji's friendship is their strong desire to save each other. Which is a clear parallel to Gojo's inability to save Geto in the past.

As I said for a long time Yuji and Megumi were being set up as this generation's version of the "strongest duo" except they were going to be able to break the cycle. Whether it be by Megumi saving Yuji, or Yuji saving Megumi, they wouldn't be driven apart by the corruption in the Jujutsu World the way that Geto and Gojo were.

As I said the central question of Jujutsu Kaisen especially in regards to Megumi and Yuji's friendship is if it's possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. Which is why Megumi and Yuji both wanting to save each other is something that happens again and again at different parts of the manga. Whether it be the ending of Origin of Obedience where Megumi and Yuji are both unable to talk to each other because they want to try to protect the other from information that might harm them. Megumi hiding the fact that he knows resonance between the Sukuna fingers awakened the curses. Yuji hiding the fact that Megumi's decision to save Yuji has caused strong curses to awaken and kill other people.

Just as often as these two try to save each other, they fail. Megumi watches Yuji die early on when Yuji takes back control from Sukuna and decides to die without a heart.

Megumi spends the entirety of the culling games clinging to Yuji's side no matter how Yuji tries to push him away because he knows Sukuna has plans for him. However, Megumi is afraid to leave Yuji alone because he knows Yuji is in a dark place after the Shibuya massacre and that if he's left alone Yuji might just find some way to off himself in a heroic sacrifice to try to atone for the people lost at Shibuya.

Only for Megumi's insistence on clinging to Yuji to backfire because Sukuna ends up taking his body from him in a critical moment. When Sukuna takes his body their circumstances swap and Megumi is the one who's body is being used to kill people by Sukuna. When Megumi has to live with the guilt of Sukuna using his body to kill both his sister and his teacher, he's not able to live with it anymore.

Then their positions swap completely and it's Megumi who wants to die to atone for the guilt, and it's Yuji who doesn't want to let go of Megumi and will do anything to save Megumi from both Sukuna and the other sorcerers even if the right thing to do is just kill both him and Sukuna and letting him live means putting the whole rest of the world at risk.

As you can see not only is saving each other a common theme of Megumi and Yuji's relationship, but at different points of the story both of them are trying to save the other even when the other doesn't value their own life.

Gojo's relationship with Geto is defined by his inability to reach his friend in time, and how he was "left behind" in the end.

Gojo explicitly waited a year after learning about Megumi being sold to the Zen'in clan to do anything, and only decided to intervene after Geto's defection. Gojo's decision to mentor Megumi was inspired by Geto leaving. He even said "Don't get left behind."

His hope in taking in students like Megumi, Yuta and Yuji was twofold first that he'd be able to handpick and raise several strong students who would eventually replace the elders and reform the Jujutsu World. The second and more personal motivation is that he wanted these students to be able to support each other and be strong allies to one another so they wouldn't end up alone like Gojo did in his youth.

Gojo's intentions were good however, Gojo has a very flawed understanding of how people and relationships work. In Gojo's books "strong=good" and almost everything can be solved by strength. Notice just one chapter ago Gojo said that being strong wasn't enough, he can only save those who are prepared to be saved and yet one chapter later he tells Megumi that he needs to get strong otherwise he'll be left behind.

So, even when Gojo knows that being strong isn't enough and didn't make a difference with Geto, that's still the only real advice he can offer Megumi.

A big theme of Jujutsu Kaisen is the failures of the past generation affecting the present. A lot of people in trying to put Gojo on a pedestal fail to realize one of the central themes of this manga is GOJO WAS WRONG. The way Gojo went about doing several things wasn't the right way. Gojo wants the next generation to succeed him and do better than him, because Gojo himself knows that he was wrong and he's a part of the past generation.

I think a big part of the reason the conclusion to Megumi's character arc is poorly received is that Megumi didn't end his arc the way that Gojo set out for him.

Scenes like this led the audience to believe that Megumi's character arc was going to be completed by him learning to be more selfish and living up to the potential that Gojo saw in him. That we were going to get a completed domain expansion. That Megumi was going to become stronger than Gojo because the ten shadows was the only technique to ever beat a wielder of the limitless and the six eyes.

I understand wanting to see Megumi living for himself, and how cool it might be to see Megumi's complete domain expansion after Gege teased us with this twice but I have to ask this.

If Gojo was the strongest sorcerer in the world, and that still wasn't good enough to save Geto. Then how would Megumi reaching his full potential as a sorcerer in any way help Megumi avoid making the same mistakes that Gojo did?

HAVEN'T WE HAD ENOUGH OF GOJO SATORU

I think a lot of dissatisfaction in Megumi's character development comes from he didn't really follow the path that Gojo set out for him. He didn't unlock his full domain expansion, he didn't learn to live more selfishly. They say that Megumi simply choosing to live for Yuji isn't him learning to stand on his own two feet because he's just hinging his self worth on someone else the same way he did with Tsumiki.

However, I have to ask.

How exactly would Megumi becoming more like Gojo or more like Sukuna be any better?

A big recurring theme in Megumi's arc is his lack of agency, and how many different adult figures have tried to mould him to their own selfish ends.

In the same chapter where Megumi has the flashback where Gojo encourages him to become more selfish, Sukuna has his hands wrapped around Megumi's neck in the colored page. Sukuna was never actually trying to mentor Megumi.

He only had an interest in Megumi because his ten shadows techniques was a way to bypass Gojo's infinity. Henever actually cared about Megumi reaching his full potential. He was grooming Megumi in the long term so he could snatch his body and turn him into a weapon against Gojo Satoru. The same way that Gojo only decided to take Megumi in and mentor him in the first place because his technique meant he had great potential as a sorcerer and a future ally in Gojo's crusade against the elders.

Megumi's life is defined by every adult in his life trying to mould him or use him selfishly for his own gains. His father sold him to the Zen'in clan for gambling money and abandoned him. Gojo only was interested in a strong ally against the elders. Sukuna is just one in a long line of people who are trying to shape Megumi into something he's not for their own selfish desires.

Ngl, the fushiguro girlies are kinda onto something with their characterization of Sukuna’s possession as the physical embodiment of his lifelong struggle for self determination and autonomy and how others have always pupeteered his fate for their own devices and he’s thusly never put himself first ─ his selfishness functioning ultimately as platitudes which still center others and his consideration for them. [SOURCE]

So if all of Megumi's various abusers have tried to make Megumi into something he's not and robbed him of his agency in the process, then is the best ending for Megumi really to become more selfish like Gojo or Sukuna?

If Megumi ended his character arc by using a complete domain expansion, and reaching Gojo's level of power wouldn't that be validating the way Gojo stole Megumi's entire childhood from him in order to make him a strong sorcerer. Wouldn't it look like the narrative was going, yeah, it was wrong for Gojo to groom Megumi like that, but look how strong it made him!

We already have a version of Megumi who learned to live only for himself, someone who broke the chains of fate and became entirely free.

Toji shows us a version of Megumi who lived up to his full potential as a sorcerer, became someone strong enough to threaten Satoru Gojo, and who put himself above everyone else and... Toji's fucking miserable.

Toji is the bad ending of Megumi. He's strong but that's all he is. The narration refers to him as a puppet of carnage, only living to fight the strongest around. In fact, Toji dies BECAUSE he wanted to feel validated as the strongest. The decision to say and fight against Gojo when Gojo unlocks reverse cursed technique leads to his death. Being the strongest and his desire to be validated as someone strong is nothing more than a curse for Toji and what allows him to escape the cycle is not strength, but rather seeing that his son has succesfully escaped the abuse of the Zen'in clan.

So having Megumi live up to his full potential as a sorcerer, or living selfishly the way that Gojo or Sukuna wanted him to wouldn't really be breaking the cycle, because it'd be Megumi acting the way his abusers wanted him to act. If anything it' be Gojo's long term grooming of Megumi finally succeeding.

I understand that Megumi fighting back on Sukuna from within with one use of ten shadows to create a puddle underneath Sukuna's feet isn't the most dramatic way to signal his journey of self-realization, but sometimes the flashy, dramatic, and satisfying thing isn't always the right thing.

if the central relationship of the series is Megumi and Yuji, and the central question of that relationship was "is it possible to save someone who doesn't want to be saved-" then resolving both Megumi and Yuji's character arcs requires answering that question. That's the most important part. How are we going to break the cycle and have Megumi and Yuji save each other in a way that Geto and Gojo weren't be able to.

Yes, I understand wanting Megumi to be his own person and stand on his own two feet, but before he's a person Megumi is a fictional character. Megumi and Yuji are characters intentionally designed to be each other's other half. The same way that Geto is designed to be the other half of Gojo. They both represent a yin / yang pair. They both represent the shadow and the light, the sun and the moon.

People also talk about wanting Gojo to learn to be his own person outside of Geto, but that's also missing the point. Gojo isn't a person to begin with he's a character designed to be the other half of Geto. All of those parallels that exist between them, both of them getting their bodies stolen from them, both of them becoming monsters (geto slaughtering the village, Gojo slaughtering the elders), both of them dying on the same day. Those are intentional, because they're fictional characters meant to represent the concept of yin and yang and balance. Gojo cannot exist without Geto, Geto's body causes Gojo to get boxed, Gojo dies within a year of killing Geto, because they're meant to represent the taoist concept of BALANCE in a manga that's about BALANCE. Gojo cannot achieve balance with the character that symbolizes his yin. Whereas, Megumi's way of achieving balance is to find a way to make things work with his other half Yuji in a way that Geto and Gojo failed to.

As someone who used to be the biggest Megumi Corruption Arc truther, I've come around in my thinking and I can at least understand why Gege didn't go that direction. Megumi learning to be selfish like Gojo would be changing too much of Megumi's inner nature, because as much as Megumi pretends to be selfish as an excuse he still is someone who wants to help people.

There's nothing wrong with Megumi wanting to help people, or wanting to be a team player. It was Megumi deciding to hinge his entire self worth on just his ability to help one person. It's why he couldn't go on when Tsumiki died, not just because he was grieving his sister, but because he decided to make protecting his sister his entire reason to live and genuinely saw no other reason to keep on living.

A lot of people say that Megumi is just deciding to make Yuji into an emotional crutch the same way he once did with Tsumiki, however, I don't think these lines of dialogue really indicate that.

"The world is full of people besides myself. Once more I think I'll live for others."

To begin with, Megumi says that the world is filled with lots of people. Megumi didn't want to go on because he didn't think he'd ever love someone as much as he loved his sister. That there was nothing in the world worth living for if his sister was gone.

However, now Megumi is acknowledging that there are more people in the world than just Tsumiki. That he might come to love them the same way that he loved her. That he shouldn't give up on life just because he lost one person, no matter how important that person was.

Megumi's words run contrary to the idea that he's just going to use Yuji as his next living emotional crutch, because he says the world is full of people. There's more people than just him, there's more people than just Yuji, as long as Megumi makes the choice to continue living then he can go out into the world and meet them.

Jujutsu Kaisen is a very individualist manga, and I understand we also exist in an individualist society so we want to see Megumi stand on his own two feet and live for himself, but I don't think Megumi deciding he'll live for others is a bad thing. This is just a few chapters after Yuji said that what makes life meaningful is the memories you leave behind with other people. Which is the exact same sentiment.

Yuji is able to break free from the cog mindset when he realizes that all the people he connected to in his life gave his life meaning, even if they died tragically, even if he only knew them for a short time. Choso's final words are "Thank you for being my little brother" and that connection was incredibly important even though they only knew each other for about a month. Yuji's life became meaningful because he went out into the world and made all these important connections.

Now Megumi is doing the same thing. He's resolved that even though his sister is dead the world is full of people he can connect with. That he can come to love other people the same way that he did. That his life is still worth living because he can find new people to love. Is Megumi deciding he can try to live for the other people in his life and his connection to those people even after the loss of his sister made him feel like his life is worthless and he'll never love anybody that way again, really that different from Yuji deciding that the people he made connections too gave his life value?

Jujutsu Kaisen lifts from other manga, this is pretty common knowledge. Killua and Shinji Ikari are probably the two biggest inspirations for Megumi and both are two very passive characters who are entirely reactive. They don't decide, they don't act, they react to the decisions of people around him.

Killua's ultimate moment of character development isn't beating his abusive big brother, or his abusive parents in a physical fight after getting a power up. Killua's greatest moment of character development is accepting Nanika as a part of Alluka. Something he was too afraid to do because it would mean that his family would continue to try to exploit Alluka for her wish granting abilities.

Killua finishes his arc with the resolution to protect both Alluka and Nanika from the rest of his family. Considering that Killua has been centering his entire self worth around his usefulness to Gon by this point you could call it Killua is just replacing Alluka with Gon as a crutch if you were cynical. Or you could just say that Killua, like Megumi is someone who lives for their loved ones and finds value in the bonds he makes with other people.

Shinji Ikari spends the entire 26 episode run of Neon Genesis Evangelion not making a single decision, and his final moment of character development isn't really that much character development. He simply makes the decision to reject instrumentality and try again. To go back to the real world and try to be a person in the world again, because as long as you're alive there's still a chance to be happy.

Megumi like Killua, never really changes. It's in Megumi and Killua's nature to be a protector / a nurturer. They want to take care of the loved ones in their lives. Megumi and Shinji both have an arc where it takes the entire anime / manga to take the very first step. Their arc is there to depict how hard it can be to take that first step on the journey to change when you're as traumatized as someone like Shinji or Megumi.

Megumi's arc especially is about him making his very first decision in the whole manga. As I said the central question of Megumi and Yuji's relationship is can you save someone who doesn't want to be saved and Yuji eventually finds you that you can't.

Yuji's greatest moment of character development and empathy for Fushiguro is realizing he can't force savlation on Fushiguro if Megumi doesn't want it. He can't force Megumi to live. He can't just tell Megumi to be stronger.

In doing so Yuji does something that no one has ever done to Megumi in his life, and offered him a choice. Gojo expected Megumi to be as strong as him and saw him as a mini-gojo never once taking his opinion into the matter. As I said above Gojo sees being strong as the soliution to all of life's problems. His adivce to Megumi was don't be weak, otherwise you'll be left behind.

Yuji allows Megumi to be weak. He says that Megumi doesn't have to be strong and suck it all up. The metaphor of Yuji and his grandfather works well to show how Yuji truly understood Megumi in a way Gojo never did. Gojo expected Megumi to be as strong as him. Gojo encouraged Megumi to grow up into another Gojo. Gojo failed to understand Megumi in many ways because he wasn't Gojo, and enjoy Jujutsu and being a sorcerer the way that Gojo did.

Yuji relates the story of his grandfather rejecting chemo treatment. At the time he didn't understand why his father would refuse the treatment just because it was painful, because Yuji being young would have been very easily able to handle the pain. However, after Yuji went through trauma and started dealing with suicidal ideation in the aftermath of Shibuya he understood why some people wouldn't want to keep fighting.

Yuji knows what it's like to be weak and want to give up so he doesn't want to force Megumi to be strong. Gojo projected himself onto Megumi and expected Megumi to always be strong and to love Jujutsu like he did, and didn't understand the ways Megumi was different than him. Yuji on the other hand accepted Megumi for who he was with those words, even though Megumi was weak and didn't want to continue living Yuji didn't crticize him he accepted that Megumi was different from him. He accepted the fact he didn't really understand Megumi's pain. He validated Megumi's pain and didn't try to dismiss it.

This parallel to Gojo and Megumi's first meeting is so important, because Gojo showed up in that child's life only to exploit him. While Yuji gave Megumi a choice. Even if it meant that Yuji would be lonely and heartbroken, he still gave Megumi a choice on whether or not he wanted to live.

In the end Yuji gave Megumi a choice, and Megumi made that choice to keep living. Just like Shinji, Megumi's entire character arc was just leading him up to taking the first step on his journey. Just like Shinji, Megumi's entire arc is defined by his choices being taken away from him but the very first choice he makes is his most important one: the choice to live.

So yes, a Megumi corruption arc would have been really cool but I think the answer of "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, but you can still love them" is a beautiful one.

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged yap

Monthly reminder that THIS is OFFICIAL ART

The Ufotable staff are basically telling us that Sanemi and Giyuu canonically have a thing for each other. I've never seen official art that's as blatant as this-even from anime franchises that have a lot more queer-baiting, like you don't even need to draw an outline and connect the dots, it's RIGHT THERE.

Shout-out to this absolute Queen, who opened my eyes! May her Ws be many and her bitches abundant 🙌

Call me stupid(no, you're stupid!), call me a delusional fujoshi who likes to 'fetishize' gay people (despite being gay herself).

Side note: The belief that people who hc characters as queer are just straight girls who fetishize gay men doesn't make sense because straight people aren't the only ones who watch anime.

Anime has a lot of queer fans and of course they're going to find characters that they love, identify with and ship. So to discredit queer ships as just 'women being fujoshis' is imo homophobia with extra steps with a sprinkle of your basic misogyny ✨

Anyway, If you headcanon these lads as straight, more power to you! If you genuinely believe they're straight that's okay, but to look at stuff like this and call it reaching is just being disingenuous.

Sanemi straight up said he's not interested in women, Giyuu's feelings and recollection of Sabito reads like a widow who lost her beloved husband, Sanemi being a tsundere with Masachika, and that's not even including how Sanemi and Giyuu's interactions read like two exes who broke up due to miscommunication, repressed feelings, and the inability to properly express themselves, the parallels in their stories, the fact that the last image of them is this

They look like a married couple 😭

If you still don't believe with all this evidence, then that's okay. The aim of this post is to tell sngysn shippers that are feeling uneasy because they think they're being delusional or reading into it too much.

You're not delusional, this ship isn't forced, there's so much evidence that I've collected-that I can provide if you want. I've studied Sanemi's chapter in the light novel with annotations and shit, plus both Sanemi and Giyuu's backstories. I'm reading up on Samurai culture and history, I have studied the blade-literally.

Remember their collab scene. They have matching tsubas (handguards)! Look at the whirly pattern for both, the tsuba on Giyuu's katana is the water version of Sanemi's pinwheel tsuba!

So my fellow SNGYSN brethren, let's put aside our differences and arguments on which dynamic is better(it's gysn obvs), if you're queer or straight and feel so strongly about this ship and can or cannot put your finger on why, hell even if you're a casual fan and just really like the characters lots, or even if you just want to piss off a homophobic animebro. Girlies, I gotchu 🙏

Here's my GiyuuSane masterlist which can also apply to SaneGiyuu as well.

Here's my ever expanding folder of gysn official images where they're always put next to each other or in suggestive poses.

You can also get stuff from my discord(shameless plug 👀), I yap a lot about them on there and share my annotations and drabbles and stuff.

Feel free to use it-with credit of course 😊, for the analysis and the discord stuff, you can use the images without the credit since they're not mine.

Also shout-out to the MasaSane and SabiGiyuu shippers! They're our allies, our backbone, our Rohan shall Answer to our Gondor calls for Aid, our Knights of the Vale to our Battle of the Bastards. We need them!!!!

SaneGiyuuSane, SabiGiyuu and MasaSane shippers when the see each other in the wild be like

The only person who can refute me is Gotouge-sensei herself, and even then Id be skeptical-and coughing up blood. The 'coincidences' are just too much! So yeah that's all I have to say in this post. Yes I'll always make everything about GiyuuSane, they mean everything to me.

And you can try to stop my dancin' feet But I just cannot stand still 'Cause the world keeps spinning 'Round and 'round And my heart's keeping time To the speed of sound I was lost 'til I heard the drums Then I found my way 'Cause you can't stop the beat

Sanemi and Giyuu are gay, they're dumb and they're in love!

Thanks for reading my overly dramatic rambles! 🩷

[finniestoncrane]

Teehee could you do headcanons about the Riddler's reactions to their partner being cockdrunk :) pretty please

Riddler Headcanons oh for SURE lmao, i mean one and done they're all getting a massive ego boost from it but i'm so certain they'd all use it to their advantage in different ways (though i left some out because they were giving similar vibes to others in my mind) 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: nsfw obviously, mentions of sex etc.

telltale

peepaw is not playing around here

the minute he realises you're slurring your words he is honing in

teasing you, touching your skin to watch your flesh tremble

making things worse for you, watching you squirm

knoiwng you don't have the mental capacity to stop him

knowing you don't want him to stop

it's a nice boost to know he's still got it all these years later

arkham

yeah he's not at all surprised because he is the greatest

and to be honest you should have been prepared for this

like why didn't you have an energy drink by the bed to chug

it's his fault you're like this, because he's a sexpert, duh

but get up and get back to work!!

robots need building, floors need sweeping, plans need planning

there's no rest for the wicked, and judging by your squirming...

you're still in quite a wicked mood, even after his amazing efforts

gotham

you can lie there in the little puddle you helped create

forget who you are, forget you're human even!

there's no need to get up and do anything because he's on it

bringing you water, a sugary snack, and a towel

he'll help you sit up, fluff the pillow behind you, and then lay down

gazing at you in awe, reaching to help you

as you struggle to hold the mug in your shaking hands

young justice

i think he'd go into panic mode immediately

are you not talking to him because he didn't do a good job?

have you died? why are you just laying there drooling in silence?

oh! because he did good!? wow... well...

how soon can you go again? because that was a neat ego boost

and it's got him primed and ready for another round

dano

you lay there in blissful post-orgasm glow for as long as you need

he's going to be next door in the bathroom gazing into the mirror

smiling widely at himself, pretending like he's doing a speech

thanking the audience for giving him this prestigious award

"best fuck ever" going to him? edward nashton?

he couldn't have done it without you, his wonderful partner

who he has just remembered is still laying naked in his bed

and who he is now rushing back to

zero year

so here's the thing: while you should be the one getting up

ruining the post-orgasm joy to get him a drink and a towel

he will take your inability to respond to his demands well

it's a compliment really, he fucked you so good that you're dumb

or at least dumber than you were before *hehe, ow, don't hit!*

unfortunately he will be bragging about this to everyone

literally anyone who will listen

so it's not much of a secret that you got drunk off his cock

[eveningspirit]

Langdon and Back Pain, Part Two [with screencaps from episodes 1x03 and 1x05]

You may find Part One here.

Episode 1x03 doesn't really have any examples of pain. It has however examples of some sort of discomfort with standing straight. Those are: leaning, leaning, leaning, holding onto a wall, holding onto a door, leaning and standing slightly bent forward, what may not be important at the time, but will serve as a comparison to a later episode.

Episode 1x04 has two or three more examples of leaning, but the screencaps are closeups, and not much is visible, so I didn't include them.

Then, there's episode 1x05, which baffles me with the way Langdon moves at the start of this scene:

It's like he's walking on bent knees and he remains in this hunkered down pose until Santos pisses him off with "I want to do that, but Dr. Langdon disagrees." (and let's not argue about Lorazepam now, because that would be a completely different post, which I may also make, who knows).

ETA: Here's the post with gifs of this moment, and a small convo in comments between me and @ashtehenerd I'm not the only one that saw it! 0.0

Oh, and that left arm? Held close to his chest? That's either nothing, right, or it's kind of a "protecting the area of the body that's sore". IDEK. Either way, his posture feels so tense here.

A little later in the same scene Langdon very clearly supports his weight on the patient's bed.

All of those examples, on their own may not mean much. Other characters can also be found leaning on various surfaces. But when there's so many, they begin to form a pattern.

And to finish with this scene, one more leaning:

Next caps illustrate some level of pain/discomfort, however I only include them for whump purposes. This is not evidence that Langdon has chronic issues (well, maybe a little), but more, that he's in fact a twelve-years-old.

Also. Faces this man makes.. Seriously..

Now there, remember that scene with Santos and Donnie? How many of you noticed who's in the background? As a few times before, it would be better illustrated by a gif, but here Langdon once more exhibits an inability to stand straight.

In the scene with post-tonsilectomy bleeder I noticed some instances of Langdon seeking extra support, but all screencaps were bad quality, so there, have one where he makes yet another weird face. Or is it grimmace of pain when lifting his arm?

And, finally, it's a promo picture, but here you can clearly see that he's not having any qualms about putting his weight on the patient.

That's all for today.

I wonder how far I'll be knocked off my pedestal come tomorrow's episode, lol.

ETA: I wasn't, ha! Here, you can read Part Three [1x06].

Happy (almost) Pitt Day!

[factual-fantasy]

28 Asks! Thank you! :)) 🪆

@thelatter0verview5

I got a few petty reasons, but a very justified reason is because he is extremely disrespectful and treats everyone around him like garbage. Goose herself said that Jax is a bad person and the Jax simps need to reel back on the excuses they make for his behavior.

"But he's just pushing people away to cope" "But he's just mean because he lost a friend." "But that's just his way of showing love"

Yeah those may explain his behavior but they do not justify it. No matter the reason, Jax is responsible for how he treats other people, and he treats them all like trash. Jax should be held accountable for that.

Now just because I hate him, doesn't mean I have to take Ribbit away in my AU. I hate Jax as a character, as he was designed to be up to this point. But I wouldn't wish the death of a friend on anyone. So honestly for my own sake, not having to write something so sad, I added Ribbit to my AU.

Honestly I like Ragatha a LOT more after episode 5. She's actually becoming one of my favorites.

For starters, I could so easily put myself in her shoes when she mentioned Ribbit. Jax has been a PHAT JERK for a VERY LONG TIME. He has been grinding her gears FOREVER. Because of this she lets a nasty comment slip. "Not anymore.." but after that she IMMEDIATELY back peddles, realizing that what she said was very out of line. I can see myself being bitter and sipping up just like she did.

Right after she frantically yet genuinely apologizes and then flees to give Jax space from her.

Later on, when Jax has been a jerk AGAIN and pushes her buttons with a stupid "what no apology for me?~~💅💅💅"? I would not have had the strength to be kind to Jax. I would have told him to screw off and turned away most likely. But Ragatha had a bigger heart than that.

Despite how rightfully TICKED OFF she is with Jax's horrible behavior, she swallows her pride and apologies again for bringing up Ribbit. And again, walks away to give each other space.

I think Ragatha was awesome and showed how big her heart is in this episode. When she has these outbursts due to stress or other she immediately takes accountability for what she said and genuinely apologizes. That is a millions times more than Jax can say.

@local-dairywizard

The Caine in my AU is very different from canon. So much so he's hardly Caine anymore, but I'm ok with that.

My Caine has 2 goals, of which he was not programmed to do, but has made for himself none the less. #2 is to keep the humans as mentally healthy and calm as he possibly can. And 1# being the most important, get the humans out of here ASAP and back into the real world.

So while Caine in canon was freaking out about the humans liking the suggestion box adventures more than his own, my Caine would be THRILLED! He's be so relieved that the humans have some time of peace where they're getting along and socializing. In fact he would probably toss in a few little distracting activities like more food options, some more pretty bugs and a few more pretty colors in the sky.. before leaving the humans there in peace while he works extra hard on finding an exit for a bit.

In my AU, Caine cannot control or alter the minds of the humans in any way. And he is very transparent and honestly about his inability to do so. Which ngl the circus members kind'a wish he could-

If Caine could alter the minds of the humans, he could shut down their panic attacks, remove their deep depressions or paranoid delusions, and even cure abstraction. But alas, he cannot..

(Referencing this post)

Thank you so much!! :DDDD💞💞💞

Honestly, the only ramen I really remember the taste of is chicken. And its been a VERY long time since I've had that.. so its hard to say what they'd like <XD

But Cici and Gerald aren't picky, they'd probably try any ramen! Maybe they'd even favor a spicy kind! :00

I think that would be pretty fitting! :0 I wouldn't be surprised to see a teddy bear character on one of the crossed out bedroom doors..

(Referencing this post)

XDD I'm glad you like it! :))

That's gotta be on the list of the most wholesome and warm compliments I have ever received.. thnk yu... 🥺💞

@neo-metalscottic (Referencing this post)

Thank you so much! :DD And don't worry about the Shockwave post, <XD in hindsight I should have just waited a day or two before answering.

As for the Dinobots, I don't think I can promise anything 😅 I mean, you said they were normal Cybertronians that were experimented on and mutated to look like dinosaurs, right? Well in my AU it obviously wouldn't make any sense for Shockwave to have modeled them after Earth creatures- if he even could make them perfect like that.

Instead, they just probably became these horrible masses of mutated metal and grime. Their legs and spines were elongated, forcing them to arch and crouch their legs. Kind'a looking like a dino but not really being one- Idk how I can make that NOT horrific 😓😓

And tbh, I'm back and forth on Shockwaves arm. If he was primarily a scientist, wouldn't be illogical to replace one of his arms with a blaster? It would make more sense to replace his arm with another working hand, and maybe give himself some kind of body mounted gun for protection. Like Megatrons arm blaster or Breakdowns shoulder cannon.

That's probably what I'll do. But his other arm could look different or odd. Maybe it was taken from someone else's body and so the paint and finger shapes are different. But ultimately its just a normal hand.

Also, Shockwave using Arachnids mind as a blueprint for the Insecticons is really clever! It would make a lot of sense that they would worship her. I'll have to think about that! :00

And lastly, thank you for the well wishes! My symptoms have been pretty bad today, so after these two posts are up my day will come to an end and I will go crash <XDD

I honestly didn't care for any of them, but I liked evil Orbsman. His voice made me laugh for some reason XD

SCREAMSSS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! 😭😭🥰💞🥰💞💞💞

@palettepainter

Thank you so much!! :D Though unfortunately- since Ribbits ref was released, some changes are in the works-- <XD

I'm thinking Ribbit will actually be a 17 year old girl. I'm considering making her a mischievous "little" sister to Jax and they (lovingly) prank the crap out of each other all the time XDD

Anything beyond that, like if they knew each other before the circus or anything- has yet to be decided 😅

I got through all of Markipliers videos on it thus far, which as of typing this he has 8 parts up.

And yeah, at first I liked it. But by that first ending I completely rejected that entire game from the FNAF lore. It implies and changes WAY too much. Especially when it comes to Henry, William, the history of Fazbear entertainment, the springlock suits, the original 4 bots- its just a huge mess. As far as I'm concerned, for my AUs at the very least, that game is not canon. at all.

HOWEVER, I did take a liking to the animatronics/costumes. Much more than I thought I would. In fact I have some drawing plans for them! :DD

@briandraws (Referencing this post)

JSNDKJSN SORRY XDDD (I'm glad you liked it! :DD )

Also thanks again!! :DD But don't get too attached to it, after seeing Ribbits official ref sheet that seems to imply she's girl, I will be making some changes to her design.. whoops! 😅😅

@cherrycreamfairy

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD That's the part of the drawing I try my hardest to get right! 🥰🥰

I believe I've watched the.... 2....? movies about it. But it was a very long time ago so I don't really remember much 💔

@dragonsgirl572 (Referencing this post)

AWE!! Thank you so much!! :DD

And thank you for the well wishes. My symptoms have tough and our more recent cure attempt came back with no results. Hoping I get better soon too <:') 🙏

@beryl-shade

The design of the Tiger had me HOOKED! He looks so drawable! If its a movie and not a show I'll have to give it a watch!! :DD

@misscherrypie

I've seen it floating around and people saying its surprisingly good. I might have to look into it! :0

@minnesotamedic186

Honestly this season has been very gloomy, and it hit too close to home one too many times. I'm anxious for it to be over.💔🕊️

You can look at my tier list here :0 my rankings haven't really changed after episode 5. Other than moving Ragatha and Pomni up a tier and moving Caine and Bubble down a tier. Also adding Evil Orbsman to s-Tier XDD His voice was really funny. "whAt tHe f R I c K???"

@pewpewae

SCREEAMING AND CRYING WAAAAJHG THS IS SO SWEET THANK YOUU!!! PUTTING THIS ASK IN THE TINY SHIRT POCKET IN MY HEART😭😭😭💞💞💞💞

@candyglumboy (Referencing this post)

I can imagine they love pranking and screwing each other over in adventures. Its all light hearted and nothing too painful though dw- XD

(Referencing this post)

XDD Indeed!!

Awe, thank you! I can confidently say I don't do that because I've actually tried it before with Bowser <XD

I don't hate Bowser- but after the Mario movie made an absolute fool of him, I wanted to make him a vicious, irredeemable villain in my AU. Just an absolute monster, I WANTED people to fear and hate him. But in the end he felt bland.. it almost felt like I made a fool of him too but just on the opposite end of the spectrum.

I have since then learned my lesson and now try to take characters I don't like and give them some grace. I hope I was able to do that with TADC and TFP! <XDD

@virtualworldfp5

Very cool! :D

❣️🌟

☺️🫴

[lostinwildflowers]

Trust Me

Sierra Six x Reader

Summary: You and Six have a long history. When things go awry on an unusual mission, rooms are tight and tensions run high.

Word Count: 14K (I am so, so sorry.)

Warnings: very slight enemies to lovers(in the backstory), mentions of pain, injuries(including temporary hearing loss), blood, guns/weapons, mentions of panic/anxiety/insecurities, angst, swearing/kinda harsh language at times, but fluff, lots of pining, hurt/comfort if you will, one-bed trope, dum dum feelings, and my inability to skip a backstory, no beta we die like men

A/N: Hello my darlings! I am here with a fic I have been very nervous and excited to write and to post. This is my first time ever writing for The Gray Man/Sierra Six, but the Ryan Gosling brain rot was too much for me to handle. Please give me feedback on this!! - Birch <3

Important Info:

-Reference #1 - Inspiration for the Croatian house, not exact

-Reference #2 - Six's light blue suit

-Reference #3 - Sunset drive

-Reference #4 - Inspiration for the bed and breakfast

The weight of the gun in your hands was a steady constant as your feet tread noiselessly but confidently over the slate-tiled floor. The laces to your boots were tied down tightly, the pressure on your heels and ankles a comfort when you were at work.

You found solace in the rifle strapped to your back, and relief in the throwing blades tucked into your belt. Skill and years of training have made you adept at weaponry of all forms.

Capable of killing a man with a soup spoon and a shoestring, you were undoubtedly deadly. However, your choice of weaponry always landed on armaments with lethality at a distance.

Being one of the best shots in your division had your name floating around the CIA. Typically working with different groups of people as needed, you were never stuck to just one set of people.

When news started floating around that the Sierra Program was looking for partners for some of their agents, people started wondering as to who would be chosen. You didn't bother with the gossip, instead focusing on honing your craft and getting better.

Thus, when you were first sat down and interrogated about your knowledge of the Sierra program, you were surprised. You knew as much as the next person from the gossip in the office - agents who usually worked alone and got their hands dirty when no one else could.

The officers that questioned you were leaving bits and pieces out of the conversation. You could tell there were gaps in their questions and the answers that they were looking for from you.

Slowly, you were starting to piece it together.

You would be an ideal partner for the infamous Sierra Six. While the CIA recruit was skilled in all facets of, well, murder, it benefitted him to have someone who could watch his back from a distance.

Sierra Six was known to always be about the job. He focused on getting in and getting out. No injuries. No casualties. None of his blood spilled. Just eliminate the target and move on to the next one.

With Six being as skilled as he was, a man who almost always worked alone, you were nervous to accept being his partner. However, you knew this could be your chance to step up a level.

Apprehensively, you agree to a mission with the CIA operative. And frustratingly, the first time you met Sierra Six was in the field.

On your initial assignment with Six, you had asked Carmichael for a general description of the man so you knew who not to shoot at if things got dicey.

Tall. Muscular. Bit of facial hair. Super helpful, right?

You still remember the first words you said to his face. You had thought about getting reassigned.

---

"I'm in position and I've got eyes on the target, Six do you copy?" your voice came out as a quiet whisper. Laid out on your stomach in the dense woods of Croatia, you had sweat dripping down your forehead and chest.

Having your first mission be in the hot, dry summer of the Mediterranean country probably wouldn't have been your first choice with your new partner, but it could have been worse.

Focusing on the task at hand, you could see the target through the scope of your rifle, a wealthy "banker" who was selling drugs across borders in an attempt to disturb government agencies. You didn't really care too much about why you were there, just that you did your job and got home.

As Six's backup for this mission, you were camped out on the edge of a wooded area that had a view of the banker's private house. The target was hosting a large party that would act as a cover-up for business deals and shady operations.

The house was gorgeous, in your opinion. You had seen the open floor plan, the back porch that connected to a gazebo, and the huge deck. Then, it had a two-story pool and plenty of tables full of booze that seemed like a dream vacation for an average person.

And that is why you and Six were to strike at this party. It would be busy with people from all over the world to get in on the banker's dealings, allowing for you and Six to slip away from the property unnoticed.

With your spot in the trees, you had the natural cover of foliage. Six, on the other hand, had to attend the party as if he wanted to partake in business.

You didn't know what he would be dressed in or how you would be able to pick him out. All you knew was that you would have to rely on your instincts and the few words of description Carmichael gave you.

"Repeat, I've got eyes on the target. Six, do you copy?" There was more of a bite to your words this time, a little bit of your nerves peeking through your composure.

Despite having been a part of hundreds of missions, not knowing anything about the man you were supposed to trust to get you out of there was unnerving.

A few seconds go by before you hear his voice slide in through your earpiece. "I heard you the first time, sweetheart," it's deep and ever so slightly, rough. A wave of butterflies tickles your insides at the slight drawl to his voice, as well as the pet name, but you push them away as you try to regain your focus.

At the time, you didn't know he was actually talking to a woman at the party trying to get his attention. Six's response acted as a defense from the Italian woman trying to get him to sleep with her, and that he heard your voice over the coms.

But not realizing this, frustration was starting to well up in your throat, "Well if you heard me, answer. We only have 7 minutes to get out of here once you eliminate the target."

Again, it's quiet over the line until you hear the baritone voice again, "This isn't going to work unless you let me do my damn job."

This time, the anger started to surge red-hot. You knew he was good at his job, he had never failed a job in all of his years at the CIA, but this? He was already a pain in the ass.

You open your mouth to retaliate, but another voice cuts in, "Knock it off, you two. We put you two together because you are both the best at what you do. Play nice and you'll have your 7 minutes in heaven."

Carmichael, you think to yourself as you take a steadying deep breath. Neither you nor Six reply as the banker moves away from the house and out onto the open deck.

"The target is approaching a woman in a black dress," you inform as your eye narrows in through the scope of your gun, "There are only four people outside other than those two."

Six's voice comes quicker than you expected, "Copy that. I've made it to my position." His dialogue is short and overly direct, and you can't help but let your mind wander.

Is this how Six behaves normally? Is he always a man of such clipped words, or is it because I'm here? Does he not like the idea of having a partner?

A snap in the woods behind you makes you pull back from your scope, your eyes flitting from tree to tree, brush to brush. You don't see any large movement, no one trying to sneak up on you.

Instead, you are met with a small blue-rock thrush sitting above you, chittering its song out into the world. A deep sigh falls through your nose as you try to relax your tense muscles at the small animal.

The whole job had you on edge, but seeing the small blue-feathered bird flutter about its day was helping to ease your nerves when your partner seemed to be the one causing them.

Back at the house, Six was positioned in the gazebo, his gun tucked into the waistband of his light blue suit. The woman berating him had finally gone inside, leaving him alone.

Although you didn't have eyes on him, you knew where he was supposed to be. So you let your (colored) gaze return to your gun, a shaky breath escaping you as you aim the firearm back toward the house.

You could see the banker and the woman in the black dress moving closer to the top pool. The man leaned in close to the woman and whispered something into her ear. She turned away with a wide smile and rushed into the house.

"The woman in the black dress is headed back into the house, coast is clear once she passes you," you murmur into the com. A moment later, you see movement to the left of the banker. A man wearing a light blue suit appears from the gazebo, sunglasses covering his gaze.

The first thing you immediately notice is the dark goatee on the man's face. Another rush of nerves fills your stomach as you take in the angle of his jaw, and the curl of his dirty blonde hair on his forehead.

And the gun he was revealing in his hand.

Carmichael's voice cuts in, "Light it up Six, we need to get you out of there." Walking with an already brisk stride, the man in the light blue suit, evidently Six, masterfully gets behind the man, raises his arm with the gun, and lines up his shot.

At the same time, you train your rifle on the target's head, using your peripheral vision to keep an eye out for anyone who isn't supposed to be there.

You don't hear the shot ring out, and you have to assume Six is using a gun with a silencer. The banker didn't stand a chance against Six's deadly aim, slowly falling forward before crashing into the pool.

You see Six immediately take a step back into the gazebo while wiping his fingerprints from the gun, throwing the weapon into the pool after the target.

"Target eliminated," Six's voice comes out gravelly. Carmichael cuts in, "Your 7 minutes have started, get out of there, Six."

The Sierra agent doesn't reply to Carmichael, and you pull back from your gun with a huff leaving your lips. It's go time, you think to yourself as you efficiently collapse the gun stand your rifle was sat on, gloved fingers working with an ever-so-slight shake.

You glance down at your watch as you finalize your belongings, the 7-minute timer on your wrist now counting down. Your eyes widen as you watch the digits rapidly decline and you say, "Six, we're down to 5 and a half minutes. Are you out of the house yet?"

There is no reply.

You curse under your breath as you look back at the house, debating on what to do. You sling the firearm over your shoulder, making sure nothing is left behind from your cover.

You force yourself to take a deep breath as you start to pick your way toward the escape vehicle, aiming for the other side of the woods where you had stashed it. You try the com again, "Six, where are you?"

Again, silence. This time, your internal fears are rapidly echoed by Carmichael's voice, "Six, get out of there now. You only have 4 minutes left before your cover will be blown."

You make it to the black get-away car after another minute of hustling through the thick Croatian forest, ungracefully throwing your rifle into the back seat. You debate getting into the driver's seat and pulling up to the house, but you know that might only make things worse.

After another few seconds of nothing in your ear, you slam the rear driver's side door shut before a grunt crackles through the com. You hear a low moan of "shit" followed by a couple of deep pants.

"Six, we need to go, now!" you harshly whisper through the com, your head on a swivel to make sure no one from the road can see you. This time, you get an answer.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it," Six hisses out. Another curse falls from your lips, and you rip open the door you had just shut, grabbing the rifle you threw down. Just as you start to make your way toward the house, you see a flash of light blue and white.

Six is running toward you, his light blue blazer and sunglasses seemingly missing. It's left him in a fitted white t-shirt, his matching light blue suit pants, brown Redwings, and a watch adorning his left wrist.

"What the hell happened?!" you rush out in anger as he approaches the car, chest heaving and sweat making his tanned skin shine. Six doesn't answer, moving toward the driver's side as he orders, "Get in, we gotta go."

You stare at him in disbelief as you repeat, "We gotta go? You are the one who took forever to get out of here. We might get caught because of you!"

Six stops at the driver's side door, throwing over his shoulder, "Yet you're the one standing outside of the car."

A groan of frustration rips its way out of your throat, and you open and close the rear door for a third time to slam the rifle down. You don't wait to hear if Six has a smart remark, instead, you clamber into the passenger seat and shut your door.

"Is that gun loaded?" Six asks you as he starts the car, not taking his eyes off of the dash as he takes the car out of park. You stare at him incredulously as you remark, "Yes, it is. I thought I was going to have to go in there and save your ass."

Six immediately hits the brakes on the car, causing you to lurch forward. You catch yourself with your hands at the last second, an angry gasp escaping you.

"What the hell, Six?!" you yell as you turn to face the agent for the first time. Now, you can get a good look at him.

His hair is a deep, sandy blonde. The strands seemed to have once been slicked back, but have fallen out of place from the... events of the job.

Next, you see the tan of his skin and the shine of sweat beading down his forehead from both exertion and the heat of the Mediterranean sun. You are instinctively drawn to the dark facial hair surrounding his mouth, and you can't help but think it makes him look tough.

His lips are parted to catch his breath and are a pleasant pink color. Only then do you realize his mouth is moving and is saying words to you. It draws your gaze up to meet his eyes.

Those eyes... such an intense, stormy blue. Sharp and deadly at first glance. Hypnotizing and mysterious the longer you maintain eye contact.

Damnit, he was attractive.

"What?" you state at him, trying to shake the haze from your first view of the Sierra agent from your mind. Six wipes at his face with his free hand, his left hand resting on the steering wheel.

"You don't throw a loaded gun, everyone knows that!" he hisses out as he turns to face the dash again. He is about to say something else, but Carmichael's voice cuts in.

"I said to play nice. Six, get the two of you out of there."

You clench your jaw down to avoid saying anything else, not wanting to get reprimanded for trying to do your job. Six must have thought something similar and moves to shift the car out of park again and begins driving the two of you away from the house.

It's tense in the car, and no one says anything. You have to build some courage up to sneak a glance at Six, who is staring straight ahead, eyes trained on the road in front of you.

This was going to be one hell of a partnership.

---

After the initial tension between you and Six, the two of you slowly developed a working relationship. You eventually realized that you could trust the Sierra agent, even if he was a smartass at times. He was the best, and despite being a man of few words, he was good at what he did.

For Six, his trust wasn't something you earned right away. You worked as his long-range attack partner for countless missions over the last three years, and you still didn't know if you fully had his trust.

You had to believe he had some solid belief in your ability as a marksman. On one mission about six months after your initial meeting, he watched three men stop and fall in their tracks before he had to intercept them, a bullet lodged in each of their chests. He had paused and tilted his head like it may have impressed him.

Now, three years into being partners, a new threat appeared that you and Six were assigned to. One that required you to be one step behind Six and fight hand-to-hand as needed.

It's not that you weren't capable of close-range attacks. You practiced all types of moves and attacks, but you were exceptional when slightly removed from the throes of action with a long-distance rifle.

Now here you were, just a few strides behind Six, the slate-tiled floor beneath you doing a good job of concealing your nervous footsteps.

The tall man in front of you could tell you were uneasy. He could feel a heavy tension lacing the air, more than he was used to. It took every minute of his training to keep his own thoughts at bay to focus on the mission.

The two of you were in the field for a stealth-type mission rather than just a hit-and-run. The plan was to stick to the shadows in tactical gear, rather than blend into the crowd with the sharp suits Six was accustomed to. It was one of the only parts of the mission that you felt fully at ease, donning your usual gear and weapons.

Six's broad figure pausing in front of you rips your attention back to the present. The hallway the two of you were sleuthing down had come to a T junction. You can see Six's head swivel left, then right.

You come to a pause just a pace behind him, and you adjust your grip on your rifle. He rotates his body quietly so his back is toward the wall and so that he can semi-face you.

"I'll go to the left to start toward the target. The right side has one door at the end of the hall, make sure there is no one in the stairwell waiting to ambush us," his voice comes as a low murmur. His gloved hands were loading his gun, his choice a Heckler & Koch USP pistol.

You give him a nod and whisper back, "On you." Six just gives you a silent glance that confirms your words. With his pistol drawn and loaded, Six moves.

You've always been in awe at how such a muscular man could move with such grace, but Six managed to pull it off with ease. As his figure disappears around the corner to the left, you drop in position to cover his back.

Your footsteps have grown more unnerved now that you are on your own. In the back of your mind, you know that Six is behind you, headed in the opposite direction. But now? You were making the calls for yourself.

You force yourself to take a deep breath through your nose, slowly exhaling through your mouth. You bring your pistol into a firing position, the 4th Gen Glock 17 pressed tightly into the palm of your right hand.

There are no doors on either wall in the right-wing you begin to traverse down. There is just a large, tan-colored door at the end of the hallway with a small pane of glass. Red letters spelling "Emergency Stairwell" are printed just below the small window.

As far as you can tell, there are no lights on in the stairwell. You force yourself to pick up your slightly sluggish pace to get this part of the mission over with. You stick to the right wall as you approach the door, your eyes trained on the glass in an attempt to spot any figures hiding on the shadowy stairs.

You don't spot anything as you peer through the glass, no movement, no people. Your gloved fingers try the door handle next, but it is locked. A sigh of defeat slides through your nose, and you pull your arms back to your chest, the pistol pointed toward the ceiling.

As you turn your head back to the direction you came, you are met with an empty hallway. No Six. You can see the endless array of doors, knowing that Six could have easily slipped through any of them as he chased down the target.

You don't hear anything from your com, and you quietly say, "Nothing at the door. Heading to you, Six." You begin to move away from the tan-colored door, footsteps gaining confidence as your mind finally clicks into work mode.

You only make it a few steps before you hear it.

Tick. Tick. Tick. Then a beat of silence.

As you turn back to the door, a loud blast rings out. The door is blown off of its hinges and the explosion from the stairwell sends you flying.

The air is ripped from your lungs as you are thrown into the wall you were following before you land unceremoniously on your back. Your mouth falls open in shock as your nerve endings fire pain signals over and over again.

It starts with your chest aching at the way your lungs are fighting for air, the impact with the wall, and then the ground leaving you breathless. From the stress of it all, your heart is beating erratically, slamming against your ribcage uncomfortably.

Then, the pain travels upward to your throat, where it is burning from the lack of oxygen and the smoke now filling the hallway. A dull throb begins to radiate from the back of your head where you know it slammed into the ground.

You can barely make out the sting of a cut on your cheek, too concentrated on the way your hips and legs shake to add to the overwhelming sensation of pain.

In the midst of your agony, you slowly start to realize the world is too quiet. You can only hear blood roaring in your ears, but not the debris falling from the ceiling where it had been torn open. You can't hear footsteps you know are bound to be heading toward you.

You can't hear anything.

The weight of your realization terrifies you. The pressure in your chest from lack of air terrifies you. The whole mission terrified you.

You can feel panic start to set in as your lungs burn due to the lack of oxygen in your body. I can't breathe. I can't hear. I'm alone. I'm going to die here. Alarm bells are going off everywhere in your body and before you know it, your body forces a gasp out of your throat followed by a shuddery deep breath.

The sudden rush of oxygen makes your throat feel raw and sore, but this time it's more manageable. You blink wearily as dust and smoke start to curl around your body, the air is thick and you can't see much.

As you start to come to your senses, a coughing fit forces you onto your side, your body screaming at you not to move. The force of your coughs makes you dizzy, your head spinning and your vision blurry as you try to make out your position.

You can tell there is a gaping hole to your right where the door used to be, but you can't make out any figures or people moving toward you. Tears start to build up in the corner of your eyes, blurring your already worsening vision.

You swing your head to the left, a sharp pain stabbing at the back of your head from the sudden movement. "Shit!" you hiss out, your now empty right hand reaching behind your head to your hair, shaky gloved hands revealing a dark red liquid oozing onto the black material.

"That's not good," you slur out, your balance wobbling as you shift to get up. Your vision once again tries to focus on the left wing of the hallway, where through the smoke and dust, you start to see movement.

Despite being fairly disoriented, the movement causes your heart to skip a beat and your stomach to drop. You try to stop moving and remain as still as possible as the figure gets closer.

You still can't hear anything, so if the figure says something, you can't tell. Your heart's rhythm begins speeding up as the person continues to get closer, but eventually, you can start to pick out defining pieces of the person.

Tall. Muscular. Bit of facial hair.

"Six!" you try to cry out, your mind willing your voice to work even though you can't tell if sound is coming out. The cry catches and breaks in your throat, only managing to come out as a garbled whisper to the outside listener.

At the faint sound, the figure instantly stops moving. A second passes and you try to repeat, "Six, over here..." but your voice gives out and comes out as an indistinct whimper.

The figure, now identified as Six, catches sight of your limp body sprawled on the ground. "Oh, shit," he states, but you can only see his lips moving as he rapidly approaches you.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his blue gaze flickering over your dirty and bloodied body as he stops next to you. You just stare up at him, watching the dirty blonde through a glazed view as he takes note of your visible injuries.

There's a cut on your cheek, a deep gash on your arm, and some other small scrapes on your exposed skin. It makes his blood boil and he wants to kill whoever did this, but he knows he has to shift priorities.

"Y/n, are you alright?" he repeats, this time kneeling down to get closer to you, his eyes trained on your face. Again, you watch as his lips move soundlessly and the usually stoic look on his face shifts to concern.

You open your mouth to respond, one of Six's large palms coming up to grasp you on the shoulder, and you cry out at his touch. Pain shoots through your body and your eyes snap shut.

This time, the cry comes out more clearly, and you don't hear Six ask you where it hurts. Only when he gently lifts your jaw with one of his hands do you open your pained (colored) eyes.

"Where. Does. It. Hurt?" he asks slowly, each word coming out methodically and calmly to try to minimize your panic. You watch his lips move, and the tears that had gathered at the edge of your vision begin to slide down your cheek as you stutter, "I- I can't h-hear you."

The words are slightly off-tone and garbled as they reach Six's ears, and his eyes widen ever-so-slightly in realization. He gently releases your jaw and looks down for a second, his hand coming up to his ear as he says over the coms, "Aborting mission. L/n is out of commission and I can't get in there without her."

You then realize your com has been knocked out of your ear and is somewhere in the rubble surrounding you. Not that it would help you now. Six drops his hand from his head and regains eye contact with you, blue eyes stormy with an unreadable emotion.

He reaches down and grabs your empty hand before placing it on his chest. Six ensures you are looking at him as he mouths, "Trust me." You do your best to read his lips, and you feel a small flutter of relief as his words click in your head, and you give him a pained nod.

Six pulls your hand from his chest and wraps it around his neck and shoulders, and you do your best to help him situate you. The quick movement makes you dizzy and your vision gets black spots as Six adjusts you so he can haul you to your feet.

Your arm tightens around his neck and your other hand grabs onto a piece of his bulletproof vest in an attempt to steady yourself. Six murmurs in your ear, "I gotcha, I gotcha," but you are none the wiser.

Carefully and methodically, Six maneuvers you so that he can have his gun drawn in his right hand and his left hand wrapped around your waist. He holds you flush to his side as your right arm wraps around his torso as firmly as you can.

Without dawdling, Six begins to guide you down the hallway you initially came from, his whole body on edge as he tries to get the two of you out of the hellhole you found yourselves in. Thankfully, it seems as though the building has been vacated or never had many people inside to begin with.

He helps you down the few flights of stairs painstakingly slow before you reach ground level, your chest heaving and limbs trying to give out. The two of you approach an exit door that leads out of the building, and a little wave of relief washes over you at the thought of getting out.

As he starts to peer out the door in search of a get-away car, a quiet ringing sounds out in your ears. You try to focus, but the ringing sound grows louder and louder, worsening your pre-existing headache. You close your eyes in an attempt to will it away, but nothing happens.

Six's grip tightening on your waist grounds you, but does little to ebb the pain building in your skull. He tugs you to try to get you to move, but when you don't budge, he knows something is wrong.

He gently pushes a piece of hair out of your eyes, the touch making you shiver and loosen some of the tension building in your face. It makes your eyes flutter open and you see that stormy emotion in his eyes again as your gaze meets his.

"Jump," he mouths and points up, moving to stand in front of you, parting your legs with his boot. You balance yourself on his broad shoulder, your left arm throbbing where the blood is gathering down your arm.

You do your best to jump and wrap your legs around his waist, but Six's hands are right there to guide and shift you as he wraps his arm around your back. He once again draws his gun, and in a fluid movement, pushes through the door and takes off toward a car he spotted near the end of the building.

You know he's trying to be as careful as he can, but each time his feet hit the ground your body is wracked with pain. You can't stop the whimpers you know that fall from your lips, but you try your best to bury them in the junction of Six's neck and shoulder.

The Sierra agent hears every single one, and he internally curses at how poorly the mission has gone. He stumbles to a stop on the passenger side of the random car, placing his gun on the roof while he pries the door open and gently urges you inside.

Once he sees you're safely inside, he grabs the gun, shuts the door, and jogs around to the driver's side. He slides in, setting his gun in the center console, starting the car as he closes his door with a huff.

Through your pain and bleary vision, you can't see any injuries on Six, thankfully. If anything, you think he looks annoyed as he pulls the car away from the building and the failed mission.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to focus on stopping the pain from radiating all over your body. You know the adrenaline that had been coursing through your body is wearing off, making the pain much more real.

Beside you, Six's left hand is clamped down on the steering wheel, his fingers pale from the strength he was emitting from his grip. His right hand sat in his lap, balled into a fist that you interpreted as an anger response.

To Six, his hand twitched with the want to grab your thigh, cup your cheek, to ask if you were okay. He knew you weren't bleeding out, you wouldn't have made it this far if you were. But he could tell you weren't comfortable, and he didn't want to bother you until he came up with a game plan to get you somewhere safe.

Carmichael's voice in his earpiece was another annoyance he was done dealing with, so he pulled the small black com out and threw it out the window. He needed a plan, and he needed it fast.

---

Six was driving as far as he could get with the stolen vehicle. The sky was darkening, the heat of the day lowering to a twinkling, cooler sunset. Tones of orange and pink washed over the dash of the car, drawing his eyes to where you were fitfully resting.

You had fallen asleep about an hour into the drive, initially making Six concerned. But, the blonde-haired man could tell you were still alive by the shaky breaths every couple of seconds.

Despite being covered in dried blood and debris, the rays of the sun made you glow in a way he could have never imagined. Similar to how you had initially thought Six was attractive, he had similar opinions about you.

He could picture you yelling at him on that first mission in Croatia, furious he was late. At the time, he thought you were a pain in the ass, but somehow cute when you were mad. But now, with you toying with death in the glow of the dying sun, you had never been more beautiful.

Locks of (colored) hair were warmed by the orange hues refracted through the car's windshield. Pink tones crept along the edges of your features, softening the hardened and pained look on your resting face.

The car hit a small bump and you shifted, Six's attention snapping back to the road for a second to ensure he wasn't going to run off the side of the highway. Then, he peers over at you, gauging the look on your face. It had contorted in pain, and then your eyes fluttered open.

You had to blink against the harsh light of the sunset, and as you come to your senses, you realize that the ringing in your ears has faded into the rumbling of the car's engine.

Your head wobbly turns to look at Six, who has a pensive but blank expression on his face as he drives. His grip has relaxed on the steering wheel, and he again glances over at you as you start to sit up.

You wince at the tugging in your arm, a gasp falling from your lips. Your reaction is cut off when you hear Six's voice rumble lowly, "Easy there." You turn to look at him, surprise on your face as you ask, "W-what did you say?"

Six glances at you again, surprise also lacing his features as he regards you, "Easy there... you feeling better?" A smile tugs its way onto your lips as the sound of his baritone voice fills your ears. Your headache seems to have dulled with the nap too, and you reply stiffly, "Y-yeah, I think so."

The agent stays quiet for a few moments, his gaze focused on the road as it shifts from a highway to a thin road, a town coming into view. A small, family-styled store appears on the side of the road, and Six murmurs, "Hold on, I'm going to get some stuff."

He pulls the car into the parking lot with an easy, nonchalant look. The car rolls to a stop and the rumble of the engine cuts out as you manage to sit the whole way up. Six turns to face you, his eyes stormy looking again.

Without saying a word, he changes his focus to the center console and pops it open, digging for any loose money. He reaches down into a small cubby within the center console, his fingers fiddling around for a second before they reappear with a wad of cash.

Six nods toward the store as he unbuckles his bulletproof vest and removes his weapons, "I'll be right back." He quickly throws his gear into the back seat, and you give him a nod of confirmation you don't know if he sees. You choose to settle back down into your seat as you watch his figure disappear into the store.

Now that you are alone and awake, you finally can assess your injuries with decent enough judgment. You flick down the sun visor, finding the small mirror you prayed would be there.

You are taken aback by your appearance. There is a thin slice across your cheek, likely from a chunk of the door flying by your head. It has left a trail of dried blood on your cheek, as well as dirt and grime over your other features.

There are some other small scrapes on the edges of your face, but thankfully nothing major. Your gaze flicks down to your torso and arms next, glad to see that your bulletproof vest kept your vital organs safe. You also note that your chest and stomach have stopped hurting from the lack of air, which you are grateful for.

Must have just been because I got slammed against the wall and ground, you think to yourself. Your left arm is then brought to your attention as the dull throb comes back to life. You see the gash that led to blood pouring down your arm, and you grimace. While the gash hurt, the pain was dulled compared to when it first was injured.

No, there was something else that hurt on your left side.

Pulling back the part of your bulletproof vest that was closest to your shoulder, you felt a surge of pain. You could feel a rush of warmth from your shoulder seeping down your chest, and your mouth parts as a pained gasp erupts from you.

Your fingers instantly release your vest, the pressure from the vest helping to stop the bleeding. Shit. Shit. Shit. How do I tell Six? You flip the sun visor of the car back up, and as you pull your hand back to sit on your lap, fresh, bloody fingerprints smeared on the tan interior.

You don't get any time to think as you see Six returning with bags of supplies. He sets them in the rear seats alongside his gear and then joins you in the front of the car, starting the engine without a word.

You watch him carefully and silently, your heart skipping a beat as you watch him swallow thickly. His Adam's apple bobs before he coughs lightly to clear his throat, and he turns to look at you.

"There's a small bed and breakfast just down the road from here," he states blankly. You let out a shaky breath and reply simply, "Okay." Six turns back to the wheel, backing the car out slowly and guiding it onto the road.

It's silent in the car, this time uncomfortably so. There was a shift in the air from where he had seemed so concerned about you, to this reserved, business-type attitude.

It reminded you of when you were first partnered with him, and it made a lump well up at the back of your throat. He hates me now. I've finally failed him after all this time. He thinks I'm a terrible partner and that I've blown his reputation. Fuck!

You try to fight the tears burning at the corners of your vision, but you can't help the few that slide down your cheeks. You hastily go to wipe them away, momentarily forgetting about the cut on your cheek.

A hiss slides past your lips as you rub over the cut, your fingers now slick with tears and dried blood. Six instantly looks over at you, a flash of concern on his face before it returns to stoicism.

"We're almost there," is all he says. His words are enough for now, even though you know they aren't very comforting. Seconds feel like hours until you pull into the parking lot of the cabin-style bed and breakfast hotel Six had mentioned.

The building is old, you can tell. The wooden beams are huge and solid, a historic grace about the building. You can see the cute porch with rocking chairs to view the road, and hanging just above them is a small sign.

H&H's Bed and Breakfast Lodging.

Your (colored) eyes are locked onto the sign when Six once again brings the car to a stop before cutting the engine. The two of you sit there in silence for a moment before you both start speaking at the same time.

"We have to figure out how to get you in-" "I don't think I can take my vest-"

Six continues staring over the dash of the car, mulling over ideas and the words he heard you speak. To you, he looks mad. You had rarely seen Six angry, and it wasn't something you needed right now.

The blonde-haired man finally looks over at you, and he can tell you are scared. There you are, covered in your own blood and tears, running from what was probably the worst day of your life, putting all of your trust in him.

Trust me.

Those words ring loud in Six's head, and he takes a deep breath, sighing through his nose. He unclenches his jaw, relaxing his body to hopefully put you at a little more ease.

He watches your body unlock just a notch, and he knows he's made the right decision. He clears his throat before murmuring, "We need to get you inside. I got some stuff for us."

Six reaches into the back seat to grab the two bags of items he had gotten. He rummages around for a second before pulling out a large sweatshirt that looks like it was probably meant for him.

His azure gaze meets your own, and he offers it to you, "We'll get you cleaned up inside." The words come out a little harsher and more blunt than he intended, but you can see the meaning behind his eyes.

We need to get where no one can see us before we deal with this.

You give him a silent nod, taking the dark gray sweatshirt from his hands. You slide it on with great difficulty over your bulky gear, your arms aching and body sore, but the bagginess of the material hides your weaponry and wounds fairly well.

Six reaches over to you, slowly. His body cages yours momentarily, making your breath catch in your throat. You look up at him, (colored) eyes wide as he pushes that stubborn piece of hair out of your face.

Then, he tugs up the hood on the sweatshirt, situating it so the material covers the cut on your cheek. He leans away and nods toward the building, "Shall we?"

You feel like you can breathe again once he is out of your personal space, but you can't stop the butterflies that bloom in your belly at the gentleness of his touch. You don't bother giving him an answer, instead opting to turn toward your door and open it to cover the flush you sure was covering your face.

You have to bite your lip to keep any groans of pain from pushing through, and you look out across the parking lot to see the sun has sunk below the horizon. The sky is now painted in a blueish-purple, and the stars are peeking through.

You hear Six close the driver's side door, and you turn to face him. You see he has the bags he had gotten in his left hand, and he beckons you over to him with his right.

Clad in a tight black t-shirt and black tactical pants, your throat catches as you walk up to Six. His hair is messily covering his forehead, and you can see a tiredness on his features. Despite the massive failure of today, you can't help but think Six looks good.

You stop in front of him, and you see a small tug of a smile pull at the corner of his pretty mouth before he says, "Okay, I will get our room, you try not to look suspicious. Just follow my lead."

You let a small smile of your own slide onto your lips at seeing the Six you knew start to come back out. You mumble back, "Sounds good."

Before you can register it, Six has tucked you under his right arm, the hood of the sweatshirt falling down into your eyes. You can't really see where you are going, but the feeling of Six pressed up against you is reassuring.

Six guides you slowly through the front doors, passing the intricate wooden rocking chairs to the reception desk. An older lady is waiting and she gives the two of you a warm smile and asks, "What can I do for the two of you?"

Six gives the woman a polite, tight-lipped smile as he replies, "Just a room for the evening, please." The elderly woman gives him a knowing grin and gushes, "Looks like your wife has had a rough day. Let me see what I can get you two that's comfortable!"

Before Six can correct her, the woman has disappeared into the back, likely to get you a key. In her absence, you sneak a peak up at Six. His jaw is clenched down, and there is a slight pink tint running across his cheeks and down the curve of his throat.

You can sense Six shift uncomfortably, the locks of dirty blonde hair falling into his face, adding to his rugged look. You can't bring yourself to tear your eyes away, and he notices you looking up at him.

Six swears his heart jumps to his throat the way you are gazing at him. (Colored) eyes glossed over, lost in some world he can't imagine. There is an intensity there that ruffles him and makes him uneasy. You casually reach up to his face with your right arm, brushing some of the stray hairs off of his forehead with a gentle touch.

Six goes to say something as you pull your hand away, but the two of you are interrupted when the woman returns. The woman, Hilda, her name tag reads, hands Six a room key with a gentle smile.

You tuck your head into Six's right side, your right hand coming up to rest on his pec as you avoid the woman's gaze. You feel the agent tense underneath you before softening, his right hand holding the key coming up to wrap around your waist.

His grip is secure and very, very comforting. You let yourself get lost in the feeling for a second before you hear him murmur down to you, "Darling, could you hold the bags so I can pay?"

Your heart lurches at the pet name, another wave of butterflies swarming your stomach. You just give him a quick "mhm", your fingers sliding down his chest to grab the two bags from his left hand.

They aren't too heavy, but just enough to make your injuries ache. You bite down on your tongue to keep a strangled sound from escaping your mouth, and Six quickly fishes out the remaining chunk of cash to hand to the woman.

She quietly takes the payment and chirps, "There is free hot chocolate in the kitchen. Your room is on the second floor and there is an elevator outside the drink area. Enjoy your stay!"

Six thanks the woman and tugs on your waist with a sweet, "C'mon honey." He effortlessly takes the bags back from you, allowing you to use him as a walking stick to get to the elevator. Your knees were weak from the sudden onset of pet names, but you would blame it on the exhaustion of the day.

Six was warm against you, something that you were unconsciously drawn to. As he pressed the button for the elevator, you leaned into him. If Six cared, he didn't show it. Knowing that Hilda was still watching, Six leaned down and murmured to you, "I'm gonna kiss you on the head. She's watching."

You tense up against him, butterflies jumping from low in your belly to welling up in your throat. Six almost doesn't follow through at the way your body runs rigid, but then you shift against him and position the top of your head toward him.

A smile breaks across Six's face, a genuine one at how much you trust him. A moment later, he leans down and presses a chaste kiss to the top of your head, which was still covered by the hood of the sweatshirt Six had gotten.

The feeling of his lips furthered the dizziness in your head, but the elevator doors opened and you had no choice but to stumble in. Six was right there to steady you, his hand tightening on your waist as he pushed the button to the second floor once situated in the elevator.

As the door to the elevator began to close, he could see Hilda watching them, a look of nostalgia on her face. She gives him a quick wink, and then the door slides shut.

You expect Six to release you now that you are protected from view within the elevator, but his grip remains the exact same. You open your mouth to let him know it's okay to let you go, but you remember how you stumbled and think better of it.

A few seconds later the elevator lurches to a stop, and Six glances down at you and motions with his head toward the hallway. He helps you walk, sort of, as you make your way to the designated room.

You're still unsteady, but better than before, so as you get to your room, you very slowly slip out of Six's grasp. You don't see the flash of emotion that resembles hurt on his face, but he instead fiddles with the key, sliding it into the lock and opening the door.

"Ladies first", he motions, pocketing the key and adjusting his grip on the bags. You grip the wall to help you in, and Six is close behind, silently ushering you forward so he can get the door closed and locked.

As you stumble through the small hallway, your eyes are drawn to the middle of the room.

Oh, shit. The thought comes. You can't even bring the words to form in your mouth and then Six appears behind you, curious as to why you stopped moving.

"Oh, shit," he voices. Six is standing behind you, but towering over the top of your head, it's plain as day.

There's only one bed.

Six sighs and mumbles something under his breath, and you shuffle to face him, embarrassment evident on your face. You motion toward the corner of the room where an uncomfortable-looking chair sits and stammer, "I- uhm, I can, I'll sleep in the chair."

The agent's gaze flits between you, the chair, and the bed before returning back to you. He says nothing but raises an eyebrow.

Six slips around you and heads straight for the bed with the bags. A pang runs through you at the thought that Six doesn't try to fight for you to take the bed, but then you watch as he dumps the contents of the bags onto the quilt overlay, and your eyes drink in the stuff that he bought. You can catch sight of more clothes, some medical supplies, and... snacks?

While he starts to organize the supplies, you start to pull on the sleeves of the sweatshirt you had put on in the car. You struggle to get your left arm out without screaming in pain, biting your lip to the point you can almost taste blood.

Your right arm was much easier, and then all you had to do was pull it up over your head. Your right arm bent easily to start pulling the fabric over your head, but the angle of your left arm made you yelp as you felt a rush of warmth and pain in your shoulder.

To make matters worse, the hoodie was pulled over your head, leaving you sightless, stuck, and in pain. Six turns around at the sound and has to stifle a laugh at how ridiculous you look, but then he remembers the little noise you let out in discomfort.

"Y/n," he mumbles with a small smirk that you can't see, "How did you get this stuck?" He watches your body slump with defeat and then your strained voice, "Can you please just help me get out?"

Six bites his tongue and replies smugly, "Yes ma'am," his digits easing the material over your head, leaving your hair disheveled and the rest of you generally unkempt. A deep groan falls from your lips as your tactical vest shifts over your hidden wound and Six pauses, his brows narrowing at your evident discomfort.

He had noted the cut on your left arm that had been leaking blood before, that was one he knew he needed to stitch up. But that injury wasn't the cause of that groan.

Then, his eyes spot the dark, wet material just a few inches above the cut. Fresh blood. His gaze widens as he looks back to the pained expression on your face.

Six throws the hoodie onto the bed before stalking over to you and growling out, "What the hell is that?" With his words, he points to the edge of your vest where the fresh blood is appearing.

You pant as you look up at him, eyes half-lidded as you snarl through gritted teeth, "It's nothing." Six looks at you in disbelief before responding, "It's obviously not nothing, you're starting to bleed out."

Six doesn't give you time to respond, one arm scooping under your legs and the other resting under your back as he picks you up bridal style. You hiss in pain at his movement, but he maneuvers quickly as he carries you into the bathroom.

It's a rather spacious bathroom for such an old building, and Six sets you on the counter so your feet are dangling and you can lean against the wall for support.

Six pauses as he flicks on the light, his blue gaze adjusting to the brightness after a second. He immediately clocks that your wound is leaking fresh blood and that it needs to be closed now.

He leaves you for a second, going back to the bed to grab the medical supplies he had bought before returning to you. Six sets the supplies down on the opposite side of the sink and returns his stormy eyes back to your slumped figure.

"May I touch you? You need patched up," Six asks lowly, his hands hovering on the outside of your legs. You give him a nod, but that's not enough for Six.

"I gotta hear you say it. Once I start, you're gonna wanna hate me," he urges. You try to focus your eyes on him, and you can see the restraint Six is using to hold himself back. He so desperately wants to help you, to fix your torn skin. But he is waiting for your confirmation.

You nodded your head again and whimpered, "Please help me, Six..." At your words, Six's hands gently part your legs at the knee so he can stand between them. His proximity makes your heart race for the umpteenth time today, your breath catching in your throat.

His large hands start to reach for the buckles on your vest, but your fingers reach out and grab his wrist to stop them. Six halts at your movement, his eyes slowly traveling to meet your own.

The agent again sees that look on your face. The fear etched into your features. It cracks at his heart again, and he simply murmurs, "Trust me."

You let go of his wrist and close your eyes in anticipation. Six's digits work efficiently as they unclasp the buckles of your tactical vest, pulling it off and throwing it in the corner of the bathroom.

The black t-shirt you are wearing doesn't help hide the wet patch of blood oozing from your shoulder, and the cause of the wound.

A piece of metal debris an inch or two long is lodged in the meat of your shoulder. Another whimper rips out of your throat as Six finally gets his eyes on what has been causing you so much pain.

He swallows thickly as he turns to his supplies, grabbing a pair of forceps and gauze. Six prompts you, "Hold tight, this is going to hurt." At the end of his words, he grabs the shrapnel with the forceps and pulls it out at what seems to be an agonizing pace.

Your body writhes in pain as he clamps gauze over the wound, fresh blood staining the white material a deep red. Tears well in your eyes and begin streaming down your face, your hands reaching to clutch onto anything to stabilize you.

Your left hand weakly grips the edge of the counter, but your right one finds its place on Six's bicep. Your fingers dig into the large muscle there, holding on for dear life as you go through waves of pain.

"S-Sorry," you sob out as Six holds pressure on your shoulder. He smiles lightly at your sweet apology and he replies easily, "Don't worry about it, darling." His words distract you just enough to form a thought that's not focused on your pain.

I'm not sure if he meant to let the pet name slip out... We aren't in front of Hilda anymore.

Six uses your distracted look as a chance to cut through the material of your shirt with a pair of medical scissors. He only cuts through the left sleeve and a little further past where the wound is to give him access to it.

Once your shirt is out of his way, he readies the needle and suture thread before ripping open a packet of alcohol wipes. The blonde-haired man continues to hold pressure on your shoulder and lets the other hand rub on your thigh just above your knee.

"This is going to sting like a bitch," he reminds as he holds up the alcohol wipe. You nod and preemptively grab a hold of his bicep again, bracing yourself for the biting pain.

Nothing could have prepared you for the utter burn the alcohol wipe sends through your body. It takes everything in you to not scream at the top of your lungs, and your fingers dig so far into Six's arm that you're sure you are ripping his flesh.

Six holds steady, though, and continues to clean your wound as you wriggle and writhe under his touch. He feels terrible inflicting pain on you, but he knows you need these wounds cleaned and closed.

"You're doing great, honey," he vocalizes as he leans over to grab the suture. When he looks up to your face, he's almost taken aback at the intensity there.

Your face is grimy, bloody, and wet. There are tears rolling down your cheeks, mixing and pooling with the dried blood, dripping down your chin. But your eyes? They seem to stare right at the core of him. They see right through his tough exterior, right through all of his training.

They are seeing the gentle touches, the firm embraces. They are seeing the protector he so desperately wants to be. You are seeing Sierra Six as a man, and not just a weapon.

Six's breath catches in his throat at the thought and has to look away from the heat of your gaze. He turns his attention back to your wound and mumbles, "Time to sow this up."

You sit still at his words, waiting for the tug of a needle through your skin. A split second later, you feel the first bite. You clench your jaw down tight, a moan grumbling up from deep in your chest.

Six does his best to work quickly as he pulls the needle and suture through your skin, row after row after row. Eventually, you feel him tie the knot off as exhaustion starts to creep over the edges of your body.

Your body is starting to slump against the wall rather than brace away from it, and your eyes are beginning to burn from crying and from the debris from the carnage. You know you will pass out the second your head lays to rest.

"Stay with me," Six murmurs lowly, "We got a lot more to fix up." Six moves to work on the cut on your arm next, going through the same methodic steps as he did for your shoulder. It still hurts like a bitch, but the exhaustion helps dull it.

Six finishes tying off that suture and then pauses, setting the medical supplies back on the counter. He makes eye contact with you, his gaze softer than expected as he rests his hands on his hips.

"Let me see the back of your head, then you can get a shower and we'll finish packing these wounds, hm?" he poses it as a question, but you know it's a low-threat order.

You take a shaky deep breath and huff out, "Yes sir," jokingly before slowly pushing your way to the edge of the counter. You push off the edge and your feet land on the ground firmly, but your knees wobble and start to buckle.

Six is right there, catching you around your waist with ease. His large hands stabilize you, and are pleasantly warm, as he unknowingly pulls you closer to him.

"Easy there," the words sound out for the second time that day. You are a little dizzy from the sudden movement, and your head falls forward to brush your forehead against his chest.

You feel a wave of embarrassment at how weak you are from being knocked flat on your ass. Since Six turned left down that hallway, you have needed him every second.

"Sorry, I just felt a little lightheaded," you whisper, your voice hoarse from muffling groans. Six rubs one of his hands on your waist reassuringly, "Like I said, don't worry about it. I've been banged up worse than you before, it's not easy."

A comfortable moment passes but then Six pulls back, one hand releasing your waist to brush that stubborn piece of hair out of your eyes. He still has that soft expression on his face when he tells you, "I'm going to look at your head, alright?"

You give him a tight-lipped smile and shuffle 180 degrees so he can look at the back of your head. It's the first time you've seen what you've looked like since being in the car.

You're an absolute mess. Self-depreciating thoughts try to flood your mind, and you will them away with Six standing behind you. He's gently running his fingers along your scalp, looking for the source of the dried blood.

He finds it a second later, and upon closer inspection, he coughs out, "It's just a small nick. Go 'head and get cleaned up and I'll take a look again after. I'll grab you some clothes."

Six takes a slow step back, releasing his hold on you, the touch of his fingers lingering in your mind. He's only gone for a minute, returning with the clean clothes he bought at the small store in town.

You quietly thank him and hastily chuckle, "This is kind of like that time in Dubai." Six's hand comes to land on the door handle, and he pauses for a moment as the memory washes over him. A smile tugs on his lips and he replies lightly, "I gotta say this is probably worse than Dubai."

A moment of silence passes and he throws his head toward the main bedroom area and tuts, "I'll be out here. Take your time, and uh, just let me know if you need any help or anything." At that, Six clicks the door shut, the pink flush returning to his cheeks.

You watch the door close and you pause for a moment, letting the silence swarm over you. It takes a second, but you turn to face the mirror, letting the emotional weight of the day lay on your shoulders.

I should have been better today. I could have been so much better. Because of my inabilities, I almost got killed. I made Six abort a mission for the first time - ever. I am ruining the infamous Sierra Six.

You don't realize silent sobs are wracking your body until you go to pinch your brow and run your hand down your face.

You are such a failure.

The words had crept into your mind before you could stop them, and you push off the counter to try to stop the spiraling train of thought. It lingers in the back of your head, but you try to focus on turning the water to a comfortable temperature.

You unlace your boots, setting them off to the side by your bloodied tactical vest. You manage to strip out of your pants and underwear with minimal difficulty before starting on your shirt.

It's easier to shimmy out of because Six took care of the sleeve you had struggled with before. However, you were trying to not bust the stitches he had worked so diligently on. After a minute or two of shuffling and trying to not hurt yourself, you were finally bare.

Stepping into the shower, you took a deep breath as the water began to rain down on you. You could see the grime and blood start running toward the drain, the water turning a murky greyish-pink color as you started to clean your skin.

Your wounds were sore as they were touched by the water, so you did your best to clean the surrounding blood off with a gentle washcloth. Then, you let yourself stand under the water for a moment. You let the warmth soak into your muscles, into your bones.

You needed that moment. You needed the water to remind you that were human. You needed those wounds to remind you that you were alive.

But you must have been in the bathroom longer than you realized because there are a few knocks on the door and then you hear Six's voice.

"Y/n? You alright in there?" you can hear worry in his voice, and it makes you smile. You realize he can't see you, so you turn off the water and call back, "Yeah, I just need to get dressed."

You don't get a response back, so you assume he heard you and was leaving you to your privacy. You grab one of the towels hanging outside of the shower and dry yourself off carefully, taking care to pat your wounds dry.

Exhaustion is still crawling at the back of your mind, but the shower seemed to rejuvenate some part of you. You make your way over to the clothes Six picked out for you, and you can't help but let a dopey grin onto your lips.

He left you a pair of black sweatpants, in your size, by the way, a clean pair of women's underwear, and then a choice between a light blue women's long sleeve that resembles a crewneck or a men's sized black t-shirt.

You want to put the women's crewneck on. It's one of your favorite colors and the piece looks devastatingly comfortable. But you know you aren't going to be able to get in it yourself and Six won't be able to finish patching you up.

You slide into the large black t-shirt easily, the article definitely chosen with Six's size in mind. You slowly open the door from the bathroom into the bedroom, peering around the room curiously.

Six is nowhere to be seen, and you feel a rush of panic. He's not on the bed. He's not in the chair you said you would take. He's not on the balcony overviewing the street. He's gone.

You start to pace the room, looking for any sign of where he could have gone when you hear the door jingle. A second later, he reappears with two cups in his hands.

You dart at him, wrapping your arms around his torso before you can stop yourself. Six is taken aback by the sudden display of affection, holding both cups away from your body so that neither of you is burned by the seemingly hot liquid.

"I thought you left," you croaked out, your hands fisting at the dirty black t-shirt he was wearing. Six leans back to get a look at your face and his heart further splinters at the look he sees there.

"I was just getting some hot chocolate. You looked like you might need it," he says slowly, setting one of the cups down on a side table and offering one to you, "I'm right here."

You nod shakily as you internally scream at yourself to get it together. You take the warm cup from his hand, your fingers brushing for a moment. You force yourself to move to sit on the end of the bed, mumbling, "I- I'm sorry."

Six frowns at you, tired of hearing those words from your mouth. He takes a couple of steps closer to you as he delicately retaliates, "Look, I already told you, don't worry ab-" "I'm sorry about everything!" you yell out.

The Sierra agent is alarmed by your change in tone, and he remains quiet as you start to talk.

"I'm sorry about rushing you at the door because I thought you were leaving. I'm sorry I have to wear this shirt that's so obviously yours because I can't get in the other one you got me. I'm sorry I was so out of sorts while you were patching me up. I'm sorry I blew the mission today and ruined your reputation," you gush out, fresh tears lining your eyes as the words tumble out.

A whimper falls from your lips as the words blurt from your mouth, "I'm sorry for being such a terrible partner," your free hand coming up to cover your face as you start to cry. Your hand holding the hot chocolate wobbles and you can't keep it together anymore.

Tears of anguish race down your cheeks, your body heaving as your world comes crashing down on you. Six had moved closer to you as you spoke, and now gently pries the drink out of your hands as you weep.

He sets it on the table next to his before kneeling down in front of you on the bed. His lengthy fingers delicately wrap around your wrists, slowly pulling them away from your tear-stained face.

You initially resist him, sputtering out, "D-don't look at me while I'm like this, I look-" "Beautiful," he voices profoundly.

You stop crying for a second to look at him as you repeat, "Beautiful?" Six looks up at you apprehensively, a look of nervousness passing over his angled features. He slowly pulls your wrists down, and this time you let him.

Six shuffles closer to you, now parting your thighs to get closer to you. His right hand comes up to cup your left cheek where the small cut is. He swipes away the tears there, his blue gaze stormy and complex.

His gaze trails over your face, openly and unashamedly looking at you. When he finally makes eye contact with you, he reaffirms with a slight nod, "You look beautiful."

He smiles at you tenderly as he starts, "Seeing you run toward me at the door is something I've dreamed of countless nights." You blink in surprise at the confession, but you don't interrupt him.

"For the record, I think that shirt looks great on you. If you feel more comfortable in the other one, I'll help you get into it," he whispers. You can feel the intensity of his words, and you feel heat creeping toward your face.

"I never, ever, wanted to have to patch you up again after Dubai, because I think a part of me dies seeing you in these volumes of pain. But today, seeing you lying there in the debris, calling for me?" Six takes a deep breath and looks away before muttering, "That is my worst nightmare."

He pauses for a second, letting his words sink in. The blonde-haired man shrugs his shoulders once and continues, "And yeah, you did kind of ruin the mission," and your gaze falters at that, shame covering your features.

But Six is one step ahead of you, tilting your chin back up to meet his blue gaze. "You could have checked that door differently, looked for some other indicator," he states matter-of-factly.

"It was just a door," you mumble, tears threatening to spill again. Six holds you delicately as he says, "It was just a door. It was a door that you never should have been next to. You never should have been a part of that mission in the way that you were."

Hurt flashes rampantly across your face, but before you can reply, Six cuts you off, "You should have been where you work best," and he gives you a smile, "Watching my back and blasting goons from hundreds of yards away."

That comment makes you smile, and Six sighs as he murmurs, "There she is." That comment makes you blush, and you go to wipe at your cheeks before wincing as you agitate the cut there.

Six notices right away and pushes away from you, disappearing into the bathroom for a moment. He returns with the medical supplies and a damp washcloth.

He offers you the washcloth, letting you wipe your face to remove both your wet and dry tears. Six turns to face you with that tender look in his eyes again and he murmurs, "Let's finish getting you patched up."

You nod and heat runs up your body as you ask shyly, "Will you help me get into the other sweatshirt afterward?" Six smirks as he replies with a quip of, "Only if you'll sleep on the bed and not on that god-awful chair."

You let out a playful groan, "Fineee, I guess we have a deal." Six lets the smirk fade into a kind smile at the corner of his mouth, getting to work on putting patches over your shoulder wound and the slice on your arm.

His gentle fingers help place a bandaid on your cheek, leaving him lingering in close proximity. Six can't help the way his eyes flit down to your lips before returning to your (colored) gaze. You were simply intoxicating to him.

He forces himself to pull away with half-lidded eyes and instead says, "Let's get you into that other sweatshirt." You could have whined at the loss of contact with the tall blonde-haired man, but you do as he says, heading to the bathroom where the other shirt lay.

You grab it and walk back out to the bedroom saying, "So if I turn around and pull this shirt off, can you just help guide my arms and head through this one?"

Six just nods like the gentleman he is, turning his back to you as you take off the large and very oversized black shirt meant for him. You feel a wave of self-consciousness as you call over your shoulder, "O-okay. I have my arms through the holes, I just need help lifting it over my head."

Six slowly turns around, letting you know his intentions with every obvious movement he makes. Keeping his eyes fixed on the light blue material, he makes every effort to ignore the curve of your body so close to his as he reaches over your shoulder, pulling the hole in the material toward your head.

He hears you hiss in pain at one particularly awkward angle, but you mumble, "I'm good." Six finishes pulling the shirt down to sit around your waist, delicately pulling your hair trapped on the inside of the shirt out to lay against your neck.

You turn around to face him and offer him the black t-shirt with a shy smile, "I only wore it for those few minutes if you still want it."

Six just huffs at your shyness and he smoothly tugs it out of your hands before throwing it over his shoulder. He motions over to your hot chocolate, "Better drink that before it gets too cold. I'm hopping in the shower."

At the end of his words, he ducks around you, grabbing the remaining clothes off of the bed and slipping into the bathroom. You don't know that he leans against the bathroom door, cursing himself for not being able to just lean in that extra inch...

But it doesn't matter. He needs to get a shower and you need to get rest.

In the bedroom, you find yourself sipping on the hot chocolate you know Hilda must have made. You throw the extra medical supplies back into one of the empty bags and dig through the snacks that Six had gotten.

You find a pack of Skittles and snicker, knowing that the man just on the other side of the door has the biggest sweet tooth, other than you. You rip the packet open and toss a couple in your mouth, thankful for the candy as you place your empty cup of hot chocolate in the trash.

The comfort of the crewneck and sweatpants starts tearing at your exhaustion again, and you find yourself crawling toward the headboard to slide under the covers.

A moment later, Six appears fresh out of the shower. He dons the black T-shirt you gave him back, as well as a pair of loose-fitting grey sweatpants. You swallow thickly as he makes his way over to the uncomfortable-looking chair.

"W-wait," you call out, causing Six to pause and look at you. His blonde locks are dark with water from the shower, and your mind short-circuits for a second with the way he is looking at you. You astutely point to the bed, "We can share," you blurt out.

You curse yourself internally for being so clumsy about the situation. Especially when you see Six frown and start to shake his head, "I don't want to bother y-" "Six, please," you practically beg.

This makes him pause his movements at the desperation in your voice. He looks over at you, waiting in bed for him, and then back to the brown rickety chair.

He sighs in defeat and runs a hand through his damp hair, moving to sit on the edge of the bed near your feet. Six takes a moment to look at you. You're sat up in the middle of the small bed, your back leaning on the pillows as you watch him back. Suddenly, he wonders what position will be the most comfortable for you.

Would it be best if you each took one side and laid on your backs? Do you typically sleep on your side? Would you be weirded out if he accidentally touched you unknowingly while you slept?

You could see Six's mind running a mile a minute, and you grab his hand as you throw his words back in his face, "Trust me."

Six cracks a smile at your words and shuffles to face you. You can't help but fight off a wave of heat that crosses your face as you take a good look at him.

He's basically unscathed, clad in that black t-shirt that clings to every contour of his body. His well-trimmed goatee frames his pretty mouth and those eyes. Those stormy, stormy eyes.

They are staring at you with that undetectable emotion. Six shifts again, moving closer to the headboard and toward you, the air in the room crackling with tension. He stretches his body out over the top of the covers as he positions his body in line with yours.

Propping himself up on his right elbow, he leans over you, cupping your uninjured cheek in his left hand. Slowly but with confidence, he brings your face up to his. Your foreheads touch, and a shiver runs through you at his warmth.

You want to lean forward, to capture his lips for yourself, but you wait. Six is taking the moment in fully. He will only get to experience this once, and he wants it to be engraved in his mind forever.

His stormy gaze pins that undetectable emotion on you with such ferocity that you want to look away, but you don't. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and then he whispers, "May I kiss you?"

You nod and murmur back, "I want nothing more." At your confirmation, Six slowly leans in, still giving you plenty of time to back out.

Instead, you lean forward to meet him, his mouth crashing on yours in a dizzyingly slow and languid kiss. A groan of satisfaction crawls up the back of Six's throat, and his hand moves from cupping your face to sliding into your damp (colored) locks.

Every movement is slow and thought out as his lips dance across your own. Your nose brushes against his in a comforting way, and the tickle of his goatee is surprisingly pleasant.

You could live in this moment forever. Six was pouring every ounce of himself before you, you would gladly drink every last drop of his affection up.

Six slowly pulls away, nuzzling his nose against yours before letting his eyes flutter open. You're not in much better shape than he is, and when you meet his gaze, the two of you know everything has changed.

Six tightens his grip on your hair ever-so-slightly before murmuring with conviction, "I love you, Y/n." A watery smile begins to tug at your lips as you reply, "I love you too, Six."

He gives you that tender smile and leans in one final time, leaving a chaste but sweet kiss on your waiting mouth.

You whine when he pulls away, making the Sierra agent chuckle as he mumbles, "Don't worry, there can be more where that came from later. You need to get some rest, you Skittles stealer."

Your ears burn in slight embarrassment that you were caught, but not for long when Six shuffles to turn the lights off and slide under the covers with you. The large man shuffles onto his right side, gently pushing and pulling your body until he is spooning you.

With his heavy arm locked around your waist, you finally feel comfortable enough to give in to your exhaustion. Before you know it, the two of you are out cold. Maybe a little beaten up, maybe a little lovesick, but definitely content.

Tagging: @proper-goodnight (@bluebellhairpin @xxpadfootxx @anlian-aishang just b/c y'all sat through this brain rot both knowingly and unknowingly)

[joyswonderland1108]

So apparently I’m incapable of quitting.

Despite my Oscar-worthy late-night dramatic rant about disappearing from this blog forever (you know the one), here I am. Again. Posting.

To everyone who commented on my last post: instead of copying and pasting “thank you” a dozen times and looking like a malfunctioning robot, I figured I’d write this post. So special shoutout to: @sipowell @set-me-free-jiminie @jikook-4-ever @sharrie16 @cheriek @kmabma @wingedbelieverglitter @ncgardengirl @myheartbelongstojikook – you’re all too sweet, and possibly enabling my inability to log off, but I love you for it.

Honestly, I was just having A Moment™—because reading too much on the internet is hazardous to one’s sanity, and I keep doing it like it’s a hobby. But then I remembered some of you actually value what I say and come here for insight, and I thought: wow, now I feel guilty lol

So here I am. Still posting. Still giving opinions no one asked for but some people apparently like.

My chatrooms will continue to be the place where I overshare and say “don’t quote me on that” 50 times—y’all know the drill (i'm losing my mind)

Anyway, sending virtual hugs and questionable life decisions your way. Thanks for keeping me here. I blame you all lmao. Lovingly. 🫂🫂🫂

[butchhamlet]

Inviting you to go off about Hamlet not dithering for no reason. I agree completely but I love to hear your thoughts always

in my recent dive back through my hamlet tag, i found this post, which makes this answer kind of redundant. but being me i am going to say it anyway. tl;dr: hamlet's Big Mistake* is not delaying; it's doubt; it's his total inability to be certain he's doing the right thing. which i think under the circumstances of "there is a ghost" is pretty reasonable, actually.

*obligatory "trying to apply hamartia/fatal flaws to shakespearean tragic characters is kind of a crapshoot because shakespeare rarely creates a guy with Just One Fatal Flaw" but also, even if you WERE going to assign hamlet a fatal flaw, it should still be doubting and not delaying.

let us remember the circumstances:

>ghost appears, claims to be my dad dropping in from purgatory, tells me to literally murder a man

literally not at all the wrong move to take a second to breathe here. whomst among us is getting this information and immediately going to kill 1. a living breathing human being 2. who is part of our immediate family and probably someone we know very well 3. and who is also THE MONARCH IN CHARGE OF THE STATE WHO HAS CAPITAL PUNISHMENT POWERS. as K @stripedroseandsketchpads said in the linked post, it's very easy for the audience--who in shakespeare's day would have been familiar with revenge tragedy's generic tropes, and who in our era knows that hamlet is a play about killing your evil uncle--to think, "is he fucking stupid? isn't it obvious?" but however knowledgeable about theater hamlet is (very), he's not waking up in the morning with the assumption that he's living Inside Tropes. (i do think he's aware he's in a revenge tragedy by the middle/end of the play, but that's another post for another day.)

point being: jumping straight to murder is a CRAZY ask. even from your shitty ghost dad who you address as king more than dad. plus, if ghosts are real, it does stand to reason that they might be evil/trying to get hamlet to damn his soul, because clearly supernatural and satanic things are not off the table. the ghost might be dad, but it might also be the devil, or maybe even a hallucination caused by a fit of grief. so the first step here is not "murder right away," it's "get some proof more substantial than a Maybe Ghost."

so:

>pretend to be crazy >get some proof

and, okay, fine. the pretending to be crazy is... a decision. based off the amleth story, we can infer the rationale is "keep claudius from realizing i've figured out the murder, because if he knows that, he will kill me." re: the monarch who can KILL PEOPLE WHENEVER HE WANTS because he HAS SOLE POWER. but hamlet, perhaps All That was a little bit much.

nevertheless: hamlet starts being crazy at the top of act two. he sets the mousetrap scheme in motion in the second scene of act two. that's not that much of a delay, dude. that is one (1) scene of arguable "dithering," and he's not doing NOTHING, he's establishing his antic-disposition cover. you could argue that a lot of time has passed, but the timeline of hamlet is so blurry. we do not know that. he's covering his bases, okay?

and then he gets down to business! he has to yap about it first, but he surveils claudius during the play! and THIS is where the problem arises--he doesn't put off investigating; rather, he can't STOP investigating. because no amount of evidence is actually able to convince him to Do It. this isn't procrastination; this is a deep inability to be certain that he's on the right path. and this is a case where certainty matters, because if he's wrong, murder is a mortal sin. and also regicide. people get killed for that. like badly killed

2.2 is hamlet setting up the mousetrap thing. 3.1 (to be or not to be) occurs in the time before the players set their shit up, a delay that is not his fault. 3.2 is the mousetrap. 3.3 is claudius in the church, and then--

>talk to my mom >impulsively and paranoidly murder the royal advisor > > >oh jesus fucking christ i murdered the royal advisor

"hamlet's flaw is inaction" okay. well. i would say manslaughter is an action. in fact it is Such an action that it gets him banished for an entire act of the play. and thus we cannot really call anything after 3.4 a delay, either, because he's not sitting around twiddling his thumbs, he KILLED A MAN AND GOT EXILED TO ENGLAND.

the one place you can argue for hamlet dithering here is 3.3, with claudius in the church. hamlet claims he doesn't do it then because he doesn't want claudius to go to heaven for Died While Praying Virtuously. if you believe him, fine. if you think this is kind of a load of bullshit to cover that he doesn't want to do it--sure, okay. if he doesn't want to do it, it's because he still doesn't feel like he has enough evidence to justify it. the evidence he has--the evidence he thought would make him certain--is claudius freaking out during the play. but let us remember that the murderer in the mousetrap is the player king's NEPHEW. for all hamlet knows, it's actually entirely possible that claudius is freaking out because he thinks this is a threat from hamlet, not a staged callout post.

"but we know claudius killed king hamlet because--" because he says so. in his soliloquy. to the audience. which we can hear because of the structure of theater. which WE can hear. which hamlet CANNOT! and so hamlet has set up this elaborate rube goldberg machine to allow himself to Attain Certainty that he's doing the right thing. and yet no matter what happens, he can't reach that certainty for real.

and he never does, actually. in the last scene of the play, watching his mother die after drinking poison, he'll still demand everyone bar the doors to seek out the treachery--he's still leaving open the possibility that claudius might have nothing to do with this (as if claudius doesn't spend acts 3-5 way past jean ralphio levels of suspicious). and yet hamlet still doesn't seize on the obvious, because no amount of proof can be enough for him, because fundamnetally he doesn't trust himself. he doesn't trust his perception. he doesn't trust his judgment. in the end, he doesn't even kill claudius for killing hamlet senior. he kills claudius because claudius has poisoned HIM (and laertes and gertrude). arguably, he dies without ever being fully certain claudius actually killed his father.

now, we can all come up with our own interpretations of WHY hamlet doesn't trust himself (because nobody else seems to? because everyone thinks he's crazy? because he's worried he might be crazy? because he's religiously conflicted?). i think most of you can guess my answer. but we don't get an explicit why and that's not the point of this post. the point of this post is that however you read it, hamlet's not procrastinating. he is trying, desperately, from a place of intense political and emotional duress, to grasp any amount of empirical evidence before he kills another person with his own hands. and he can't.

anyway! anybody here take the yale-brown scale lately?

[lauraneedstochill]

shameless self promotion sunday

thank you sm for the tag @ewanmitchellcrumbs 💙 (I’m sorry this isn’t for HOTD!)

I’ve never posted snippets of anything because I edit all my fics way too many times (and my inner perfectionist is never satisfied). BUT here’s a little sneak peek of part 2 of “Can’t pretend”. I actually like it, so maybe some of you will too ♡

As long as Abbot can remember, he’s always managed to stand out. He was unruly as a kid, flouting authority and speaking out against injustice. He got teased for his skin sprinkled with freckles, for curls that turned auburn in the sun; he was hated for his inability to yield. The same attitude got him into the army, the same relentlessness helped him push through the combat training — in ten weeks, some men were broken and remolded to fit in; but not Jack. He was resilient and fast and competent — with first aid, hand grenades and rifles, during the obstacle course and field exercises; he joked that it felt like a summer camp. It also felt like the perfect place for him, and the medic training only strengthened his resolve. He didn’t seek attention, but he attracted people with his biting humour and his never-fading perseverance. And he believed he could withstand it all. Then he got deployed to hotspots, to places where the earth under his feet was scorched by blasts, heat dizzying, pulse throbbing in his head. And he watched as the villages were flattened to the ground, vehicles made of steel reduced to wrecks, and half of the things he’d learnt before were proven useless. It left him hardened, but it didn’t break him. Because somehow Jack always knew the way and the right words, because if he could save a life a day, it was all worth it. But then came the war zones, and those weren’t about saving as much as they were about survival: on battlefields, in trenches, on desert wastelands that stretched on for miles, sand swirling in the air, legs heavy with fatigue, skin slick with sweat. And death tore people limb from limb, never a negotiator but a butcher, only allowing Jack to dig more graves. Those years flayed him of his assurance and his ardour, and he was knocked down, beaten, maimed, his body scarred and heart shattered, the damage that seemed irreparable, pain that left so many soldiers hopeless. But Jack got right back up.

(if any of my mutuals also write for “The Pitt”, please take this as an opportunity to share your sneak peeks 🌸 and tag me!)

[rottenpumpkin13]

please how does friendsgiving go for asgzc??

• Sephiroth spends three weeks researching "typical family Thanksgiving dynamics". His primary conclusion: family gatherings are less about gratitude and more about emotional warfare. He decides he will replicate this to get the most authentic experience possible.

• Angeal assigns everyone designated dishes through a groupchat he forcibly created titled "ain't nobody help last year"

• Texts sent to the group include "Genesis, you're on pie duty, and I swear to Gaia if you bring apple pie instead of pumpkin pie ,I'll personally escort you back to the goddess with a wooden spoon inserted in an unkind place."

• Sephiroth walks through the door and immediately starts asking everyone who they voted for in the last election.

• Cloud is assigned potatoes. He brings yams. Angeal is confused. Cloud is confused. Angeal just pats him on the head and tells him to go sit down.

• Zack is banned from bringing anything requiring actual cooking after the time he tried to "speed up" the cooking process with fire materia and singed off Angeal's eyebrows. He's now only allowed to bring drinks and plastic utensils. Still manages to bring paper plates that dissolve on contact with hot food.

• Sephiroth sees Zack and Cloud having a friendly talk and decides to bring up Aerith and his opinions on who's a better suitor for her.

• Angeal starts stress drinking in the kitchen as soon as Genesis walks through the door with an apple pie and his sword to defend himself.

• Zack gets effectively banned from the kitchen because he keeps picking at the food and eating it. Angeal tried the wooden spoon as a method of discipline, but the spoon had gravy on it so Zack kept trying to lick it.

• Sephiroth hones in on Zack as he's leaving the kitchen.

Sephiroth: So how are your career aspirations progressing relative to statistically average performance metrics for individuals of your demographic? *Zack starts crying*

• Cloud brought Banora White apples instead of the bread rolls he was assigned. When asked about this, he says Genesis told him bread rolls were "cancelled" and he had to bring apples instead. Angeal has the type of breakdown where he's on the kitchen floor, laughing with a wine glass in hand while having a conversation with the turkey in the oven.

• Angeal posts an aesthetic picture on his social media with the whole group smiling. He captions it "Grateful for friends ❤️" but the reality is that he yelled at them two minutes before the photo was taken because no one remembered to bring drinks.

• Three different music playlists compete for dominance: Genesis' orchestral versions of Loveless: the musical, Zack's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on repeat, and Sephiroth's documentary podcast about the history of cutlery.

• There's a photo of Sephiroth on Zack's camera roll where he's dissociating while eating a turkey leg ???

• Cloud and Zack have a fallout because the way mac n' cheese is made in Gongaga vs. Nibelheim is a serious cultural divide.

Zack: In Gongaga, we add tomato sauce! Cloud: In Nibelheim, we add breadcrumbs! Sephiroth: Mac n' cheese is not native to either regions. *unintelligible yelling from Zack and Cloud*

• Genesis is asked to lead the group in prayer before the meal.

Genesis: Our goddess who resides within the Lifestream, when the war of the beasts brings about the world's end— Zack: NO.

• They all go around saying what they're thankful for.

Zack: I'm thankful for my best friend Cloud!

Cloud: I'm thankful for the opportunity to be here with you guys.

Genesis: I'm thankful for poetry.

Angeal: I'm thankful for patience and wine.

Sephiroth: I'm thankful that statistically speaking, all of us have unresolved childhood traumas that directly stem from our inability to process emotions, form healthy attachments, and keep secrets. For example, Genesis broke Angeal's favorite mug.

Genesis: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!

Angeal: THE GREEN MUG?

Zack: WTF YOU TOLD ME THE YELLOW MUG I GAVE YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS YOUR FAVORITE!

Cloud: YOU GAVE ANGEAL A MUG BUT GOT ME A KEYCHAIN?

*they all start yelling at each other*

Sephiroth: Thanksgiving feels authentic now.