#me writing about how people react to my writing?

[eideticallys]

Stay With Me

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary:  "you’ve been shot countless times, huh?” “that sounded a bit more reassuring in my head.”

genre: angst & fluff

word count: 1.1k

author's notes: almost a year of no writing, but i'm finally home (i posted a new fic)! it's been one hectic year for me. uni was crazy & i started my clinical rotations. plus, i did my thesis & it even got a distinction mark so i'll be presenting it at a research congress pretty soon (yay!). with that, i'm really sorry for ghosting ao3 & tumblr. i couldn't find the time to insert it in between uni & breaking down lol. anyway, i'll be posting a lot more while i'm on break. i hope you'll enjoy reading my first fic after a year of zzz. have fun! also posted on ao3 (spencereids).

YOU CAN HEAR SIRENS AND PEOPLE SHOUTING.

They say when you are knocking on death’s door, hearing is the last of your senses you will lose. If you’re dying, you don’t know it. Nothing makes sense at the moment. It’s all just blurry hues of blues and reds and shouting—Stay with me—the smell of something metallic. The only thing you’re sure of right now is that your head hurts and it seemed like a van ran right through you with how achy your body feels right now. 

Who’s  that? You mused. Why are they yelling at me?  I’m  right here. You turned your head slightly and tried to open your eyes.

It’s quite the task.

“T-That’s it,” The person, whom you think was yelling at you, said. “Stay with me, Y/N. Don’t close your eyes.”

You groaned and gripped the person's hand tightly as if to stand up, but you couldn't. Everything ached. And the person holding you, just kept on talking, their voice a low murmur at first. But even through the haze of pain, it was starting to sound familiar. You recognized that dulcet tone, the rich, smooth sound that could captivate your attention with random facts or lull you to sleep with equal ease.

The voice, you realized with a flicker of a smile, belonged to Spencer, its familiar cadence a warm current cutting through the blossoming pain.

“Reid?” You croaked.

Your throat’s dryer than any other desert in existence right now. And you sound worse than you look—you think—you don’t know for sure, except the fact that you can’t move much.

“It’s me,” Spencer chuckled while sniffling. “I’m right here.”

“What’s going on?”

Even through the haze of pain, a new wave of discomfort bloomed in your shoulder, sharp and insistent. Before you could react and get up, Spencer's hand tightened on yours, his voice laced with a tremor you'd never heard before. "Don't move, Y/N. You've been shot."

He applied pressure on your wound—which you just noticed. The pain hit you in a delayed wave, a white-hot stab that stole your breath. You hissed a weak sound that did little to mask the spike in your heart rate. 

"Stop moving or you're gonna bleed out even more!" Spencer's voice, usually so calm and collected, was laced with a raw panic you'd never heard before.

"Easy there, tiger," you tried to joke, your voice raspy. "I've been through worse. I’ve been shot countless times. W-why are you so worried?"

The question came out in a shaky whisper, the concern evident in his voice a stark contrast to the usual intellectual debates you shared.

Spencer's grip tightened, momentarily cutting off your circulation. "Because you could have died, Y/N!" he snapped, his voice cracking with a choked sob. "You… you were…"

He trailed off, unable to put into words the terrifying image that had flashed before him when he saw you collapse, after hearing the sound of a bullet whizzing by and hitting you.

The sight of your vulnerability stripped away his usual composure, leaving a raw fear he couldn't conceal. It took him a moment to regain his composure, his voice softening as he continued, "You shouldn't be so glib about this. It was a nasty shot, close to a major artery."

Despite the pain, a warmth bloomed in your chest. You'd never seen Spencer like this, so shaken and afraid.

"Okay," you murmured, forcing a weak snicker. “I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, at least I got you to patch me up, right, Dr.Reid?"

A ghost of a smile glinted across his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Hold still," he mumbled, amused but also bothered at your dreadful timing for jokes. He applied pressure more gently this time. "You’ve been shot countless times, huh?”

“That sounded a bit more reassuring in my head” You quipped. 

A bit lightheaded from the pain, you clutched Spencer’s hand. The shriek of approaching sirens and the glare of headlights cut through the haze. You struggled to focus on the lifeline thrown in a storm of confusion.

"They're here," Spencer said, his voice tight. A sheen of sweat beaded on his forehead, a stark contrast to his usual cool composure.

"About time," you rasped, trying to lighten the mood. The effort cost you a fresh wave of dizziness, the world tilting slightly on its axis.

To which, Spencer shot you a look that was half-annoyed, half-worried. "Don't try to be a hero. You're losing a lot of blood. Any movement can dislodge the clot forming in your wound, renewing the bleeding. So, stop moving!"

"Just keeping things interesting," you mumbled, the words slurring slightly. “Wouldn’t want my last moments here on earth to be so grim…”

Spencer's jaw clenched for a moment, then he sighed, the sound heavy with relief. "You always were a pain," He muttered, but there was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You’re  going to be okay, he thought.

The sirens reached a fever pitch, pulling up right beside you. A flurry of activity erupted as paramedics swarmed, the rest of the team trying to make sure you were tended to and that you were going to be okay, their movements a bit panicked but practiced, and efficient. Relief washed over you, a sweet wave that threatened to pull you under. 

"Hold on, Y/N," Spencer said, his voice desperate despite the composure of his words. He kept his hand pressed firmly on your wound, his touch a grounding anchor in the chaos. “Help is here. Everyone’s here. Just… stay with me, okay?"

"Going somewhere," you slurred, your eyelids drooping.

"No, you're not," he said fiercely, his voice barely a whisper above the shouts of the paramedics. "You're coming with us."

You coughed a sharp rasp that sent a jolt of pain through your shoulder. "Stats say shoulder wounds aren't usually fatal," you wheezed, trying to distract yourself from the ache.

Spencer's hand stilled for a moment, looking at you like you’ve grown a second head. "What?"

"Yeah," you continued, your voice weak but persistent. "L-look, I get it, you're scared. But statistically, shoulder wounds aren't as serious..." Your voice trailed off as a wave of nausea washed over you.

"Maybe you shouldn't be reciting medical statistics right now," Spencer said sharply, his voice laced with a hint of panic.

“S-shouldn’t that be my line, boy genius?” You continued to joke, as the world dissolved into a scramble of flashing lights and blurry faces.

The last thing you registered was the feel of Spencer's hand tightening around yours, his touch a silent promise that resonated louder than any siren.

[consoledacup]

Cannot get what Alice and Will say to Colin out of my head. And it had me thinking about everyone's different reactions to hearing about Colin helping Penelope.

Alice and Will were pretty offended and affronted by Colin's blatant and rude dismissal of Will when he tried to warn him about Cousin Jack. When Colin brings his acquaintances to the bar at the end of s2 and thanks Will for his warning, I bet Alice and Will were like, he's a good egg. They probably admired his sincerity and were happy he brought them business. So they most likely developed a soft spot for Colin.

Alice is very new to the ton when she calls Colin gallant. The Mondriches are still learning the roles in which everyone plays. So instead of seeing Colin's help as scandalous or pathetic, the Mondriches can easily connect what he did to how he handled himself in s2. He's just a good dude, and they know it.

Hyacinth reads as much Whistledown as she can, but she still is not out and therefore not there to witness the societal structure of the ton. So she also admires Colin for helping Penelope. And Penelope herself also reiterates how kind he was to help her. She might be on the outskirts of every social function, but she wields societal power in a way that is unmatched. And she can see through the rules of propriety because, sometimes, she writes new ones.

And every other character who reacts to what he does sees his assistance as something different. Even Eloise, who still holds disdain for the ton, warns him about the scandal. Which makes sense because she's trying desperately to align herself with the winning side this season, while also nursing her broken heart.

All of this goes back to Violet's comment about people pleasing. People pleasing is not martyrdom. Those are two very different things. So Anthony was a martyr to the point that Daphne called him out on it. Colin's a people pleaser.

There is a dark and self-serving side to people pleasing. It's not about helping others. It's seeking the approval of others. It's going against what feels natural and right and doing what you think you should be doing or feeling how you think you should be feeling. So Colin has grown up, learning every aspect of societal norms. Despite the squabbles they get into, he thinks the world of Anthony. And he's watched Anthony and Benedict become men and thinks, well I should be doing that too. I should be acting like them and then, perhaps, I can command respect. And that idea is proven right when Anthony buys a Colin a drink for having so many admirers.

So when Debling pops up, Colin's obviously upset and jealous. He sees this older, richer, titled guy who has a lot going on, is serious about his work, and is easily winning Penelope's affections. But I think he's also threatened by Debling's apparent lack of concern for how people see him. He owns his peculiarities in a way that Colin didn't think was possible for esteemed members of the ton.

That's why his behavior at the Queen's Ball is such a payoff. He had learned how to successfully master society's game. But in the end, none of it mattered if he couldn't be his authentic self. None of it mattered if he couldn't have the one person who truly understood him.

[worldofkuro]

Hi, I love your fic and this may seem really random, you don't have you write it at all, but could you please do a self-harm!reader and Alastor comforting her, or just Alastor comforting her after finding her having a mental breakdown alone. I suggest maybe when their teens cause teens often have mental breakdowns (or maybe that was just me). Thanks again if you see this <3

Ohoh, dear, trust me, I know, even adults. Thank you for loving Painted Smile, it's always a pleasure to hear your thoughts about it! I wanted to warn you, it’s not fluff, this is how Painted Smile!Alastor would react and we all know he doesn’t work like a “normal” being, he is crazy and that is why we love him, I suppose. This is Alastor’s way of saving you from yourself. So please, if you are easily shocked, don’t read it. TW: Self harm

You were in front of the mirror, in the bathroom, looking at yourself with a blade in your hand. You didn’t know when you started crying but you just wanted this pain to end. You didn’t understand when you felt this never ending torment crawl in your mind. You had loving parents, friends that were here for you and yet, sometimes you feel lonelier than ever.

You didn’t remember the first time you dug the blade in your skin. Maybe it was because you needed to feel something real, something that would ground you. To save you from drowning, you felt the need to hurt your body.

Your body could heal, your mind couldn’t.

That was what you were telling yourself. Every wound would heal itself, because your body wanted to live, wanted to keep on living while your mind was torturing you with thoughts you felt like you didn’t deserve to have.

When did this agony begin..?

You held back a sob as blood was beginning to slide down your wrist. It was pretty, making you believe you were pretty inside. You didn't want to be a burden, you didn't want people to be condescending because you were feeling sad or anxious. They would send you to a hospital and never look back.

But this time, it wasn’t enough. Even though the blade cut your skin, it wasn’t enough. You began to cut yourself once more, trying to go deeper until this torment inside your mind would stop.

“ Dearest ?”

You turned your head toward the door you were sure you had locked and there was Alastor, staring at you with his usual smile. You quickly hide your arms behind your back, your whole body shaking. 

You felt shame enveloping you in an uncomfortable hug. You opened your mouth but no words could come out. You didn’t know what was going to happen and you didn’t want to find out.

“ That’s a lot of blood. May I see?” he held his hand toward you, closing the door after him. You took a step back as he came closer, looking at the mess on the floor. You were shaking, angry with yourself to be found in that situation, angry at Alastor to discover your secret, you just felt.. angry.

“ No. Get out.. I don’t have time for jokes.” you tried to keep your voice strong even though it was only a mere whisper.

“ Who’s joking?” he took the blade from your shaking hands and stared at it before looking at you. He gently took your bloodied wrist on his hand with a soft smile. “ It’s going to scar.”

You looked at him, confused. Why wasn’t he screaming at you, calling you crazy or hysterical ? You let him look at your wounds, you felt like this moment was more intimate than you realized. 

“ Do you want to keep going?” he tilted his head toward you making your eyes widened in shock. He wanted you to continue..? “ Your cut isn’t bad but this isn’t the best way to cut yourself, my dear.”

“ You… You aren’t angry..?”

“ With you? Of course not. But I’m curious, why are you cutting yourself?” he stroked your bloodied skin while staring at you. As you weakly tried to explain your inner turmoil Alastor was observing while wiping your tears and your blood from your skin. “ I see. Let’s go kill animals, it helps me when I’m feeling down!” he beamed at you.

“ What? No! Why? They didn’t do anything wrong!”

“ So did you, dearest. And yet, you’re still hurting yourself.” he tilted his head, seeming confused. You closed your mouth at his words, it echoed inside of you, you didn't do anything wrong and yet… “ Next time you want to hurt yourself, wait for me.”

“ Why..? Shouldn’t you try to stop me?”

“ Is it going to make you stop?” he stared at you as you weakly shook your head, this pain was something that you needed now, you didn’t feel like living without it anymore.. Even your body would beg you to do it sometimes…” That’s what I thought. So, my dearest friend, when you want to cut yourself, wait for me, I’ll cut you.”

You stared at him, your eyes wide opened. Did he really say..?

“ Alastor… You..”

“ Like I told you, I know how to cut. Your cuts are messy and dangerous, you could have touched a veins here. So, if you allow me, I’ll cut you.” he pressed the blade slightly against your skin, making you gasp. You looked at Alastor, you didn’t know what to think about it and yet.. It was oddly comforting to think Alastor, your friend, your special person, would do that for you.

“ Are we crazy, Alastor?” you whispered.

“ Completely insane, dear!” he laughed as he cleaned your wounds, already preparing bandages. He hummed before kissing your cut. “ One cut, one kiss, what about it?”

You nodded as he slid the blade against your skin, it wasn’t like you were doing. The blade wasn’t cutting deeply, it was enough to draw blood, but it wasn’t as messy as you would do. Alastor was staring at your face, observing every reaction. It was comforting, letting Alastor have his way with your life. He could kill you if he made a bad cut but you knew he never would.

You were letting him hold your life in his hands and it was… a good feeling. You knew Alastor was feeling the same, his pupils were dilated, you could hear his breathing getting harder, the same as yours.

You looked at the wounds as Alastor kissed it, getting dirty with your blood.

“ I’m used to scars that are made by hate and violence, I don’t want you to feel that. So, my dear, let me scar you with my affections for you.”

You didn’t know if you should be scared or disgusted but at that moment, you felt nothing but relief. You weren’t alone in this torment anymore.

[cordeliawhohung]

So I just stumbled on your pet!au and can I just say I adore the characterization of the Reader?

I feel like I never see Reader characters who are just soft, sad little things who know they can’t fight back so they do their best to bear the situation. And that sucks for me because that’s literally me!!!! I’ve been doing that literally my entire life!!!!!!!! I’ve spent so long attempting to romanticize/eroticize my own suffering because I can’t escape it and the only other option is to take it as-is, so seeing Reader characters doing the same thing is a breath of fresh air. I mean, I’m an eldest daughter, of course I’m gonna have a crazy Fawn Instinct and do whatever it takes to keep my owners from hurting me!!!!!!

Anyway, I’m kinda curious, how would Simon and Johnny react to Bonnie maybe finding an empty notebook laying around and start using it as a little diary/journal? Maybe she accidentally leaves it out and they flip through the pages to see very intricate sketches of the view outside the window, studies of objects around the house, one or two front profiles of their faces, and little dated entries detailing some of her inner thoughts. The most recent page has a sketch of her nametag with her actual name written next to it, and several reminders that Bonnie isn’t her real name and that she needs to hold onto her name so that she can at least have one thing to cling to from her old life. Would Simon allow her to keep the journal? Would he take it from her and use it against her?

hello!!! thank you so much!!

i really wanted to give bonnie the vibe that she's not really strong, but smart. because, i'm sorry, there are very very few people who could actually overpower two men, especially one simon fucking riley's size. and even if she did, what then? she's in the middle of nowhere. no, she's gotta play things safe and smart, and that's exactly what bonnie's gonna do. and lmao oldest daughter comment go brrr. fawning is a reaction both in real life and in literature that i have an obsession with. i feel like i end up using it a lot in my stories a;dlkfj it's always nice to write stories where the character is strong, where they do everything right and get what they want, but that just doesn't work for bonnie's situation and i'm glad it's an enjoyable dynamic to read!

as for your scenario, i honestly feel like Johnny would be super respectful of that! and we'll see why in a later chapter, but that man probably would open it in curiosity, see that it's yours and that you've been writing in it, and then snap it shut and pretend like he never saw a thing lmfao.

Simon, however, would read the thing cover to cover and you wouldn't be any wiser about it. until he's asking you what your name is out of the blue, and correcting you if you respond with anything other than bonnie. he's got no reason to take it from you. it's not causing any harm. pets deserve to play with toys every now and then, but he'll make damn sure that you remember your place (:

[autisticwriterblog]

Autistic Remedyverse Headcanons: Alan Wake

Favourite Ways to Stim: Clicking his pen. Running his fingers over typewriter keys. Rocking himself back and forth in his chair. Biting his fingernails (although he tries not to do this one because he got bullied for it). As a kid, he loved running his thumb across the Clicker after his mother gave it to him.

Hyper- or hyposensitive? Hypersensitive. Alan is very bothered by the textures of his clothes and the foods he eats. He gets overwhelmed easily by loud noises and gets increasingly irritable surrounded by noisy people. He often wears sunglasses even when not hungover because his eyes are sensitive to the light.

Meltdowns or shutdowns? Meltdowns. Alan gets violent if people approach him because he doesn’t want to be touched, and he’ll start hitting himself in the head if he can’t get out of the situation that overwhelms him.

Special Interest(s): Writing. He has loved it ever since he first picked up a pencil. And his frustrations with writer’s block and getting bored of his Casey series will never change how much Alan adores to write. Which is why writer’s block devastates him so much.

Social Issues: Alan really struggles with talking to strangers, which caused him a lot of anxiety when he got famous and people started recognising him/wanting interviews. This is part of why he gets so intoxicated when he goes out partying, because when he’s drunk Alan gets less anxious about screwing up socially and it’s the only way he can cope with going to busy and noisy places. He really struggles with making friends, which is why he relied so heavily on Barry well into adulthood. He masks a lot, although his mask will falter when he gets overwhelmed, tired, or drunk.

Communication: Alan started speaking earlier than other kids his age. He goes semi-verbal when overwhelmed or during/after a meltdown.

Canon details that stood out to me: During Door’s talk show in AW2, Alan thinks he’s being pranked; as someone who easily falls for jokes at my expense, I took this as Alan having experienced this same thing a lot. Alan just generally comes across as a very socially awkward person who reacts to struggling in a situation with anger.

[writerblue275]

Heya! Love your writings. I feel like I'm going insane whenever I read your HCs I just- Aaah! I'm getting sidetracked. Can I see your personal take on how HEARTSTEEL boys would take compliments? Imagining Kayn trying to play it off but then the second he gets alone he's jumping around and- Getting side tracked again. Sorry. LOL

Hiya there Anonnie! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my stuff!! I hope insanity in this case is a positive lmao. Happy to drag some of you along with me in my brain rot! 🤣 But you ABSOLUTELY can have my personal take on this. I LOVE this idea! Thank you for requesting it! 💙

How Heartsteel Handles Compliments

Inspiration: Requested

Genre: Headcanons

Type: FLUFFFF

Gender: Gender Neutral Reader!

TW: Swearing. Slight discussion of HS Ez and HS Kayn past which includes low self-esteem.

Extra: So obviously below I’m going to go more in depth for each member, but as a generalization, I think Aphelios and Yone would react similarly, K’Sante and Sett would react similarly, and then (double trouble) Ezreal and Kayn would react similarly when it comes to getting compliments.

Aphelios

Aphelios is interesting for this. I think in general his reactions to compliments depends on a couple factors. 1. Who is complimenting him? 2. What is the compliment about? (Either him personally/his personality or his work, his outfit, etc.)

If the compliment is from someone else (besides you or Heartsteel) about his work, he’ll give a soft smile and say/sign “thank you” to the person. He really puts a lot of love into his music so if people recognize that, then that makes him happy for sure! If the compliment comes from someone else but it’s about him specifically, he’d be shy about it.

Now with the other Heartsteel members and Alune, he knows them. Phel is comfortable with them. So compliments from them don’t phase him too much. He’ll thank them quickly. But even though he knows you and is comfortable with you (I mean you’re his significant other), you’re unique.

Compliments from you are a different story. He really loves it when you compliment him. When you compliment something personal about him? It makes him so happy he nearly short circuits. And it might sound a bit weird but with you he doesn’t express his appreciation verbally.

You will notice his actions express his appreciation instead. Like Aphelios will hold your hand more frequently. Or you notice his cuddles/hugs get a little tighter, his kisses more passionate. That sort of thing. A special sort of non-verbal appreciation and affection for the special person in his life.

Ezreal

Ohhhhhh my goodness. Ezreal needs compliments like someone needs water to survive a desert. Critically. Words of affirmation is his receiving love language, after all.

Not to mention his rougher history in the music industry. When his album got panned, it really shattered his confidence, especially since he was younger. So while he seems like he’s very confident and such, really a lot of that is a mask over some very deep-seeded insecurities. In reality, he puts a lot of value on compliments and how he’s perceived by other people.

Ezreal would d respond to other people’s compliments with that lovely cheeky grin he has. I think he’d want to play it off like “You like my outfit? Thanks! I gotta put my best foot forward for my fans, you know? It’s what they deserve!” It’s hard to describe what exactly that energy is. Self assured might be the best way to put it. (But you know the truth.)

And I think that’s also what energy he’d use early on in your relationship. He wants to seem cool for you. But I don’t think it would take too long for you to see the real him. Once he opens up and shows you that insecurity and vulnerability he’s hiding deep down, that’s when you know you’ve really earned his trust.

So at that point, please give Ez all the compliments you want to at all times. He loves it. He’ll be even more affectionate with you as thanks and will always be happy to compliment you in return. And while he eventually gets a little more used to compliments from the public, I don’t think he’ll ever get used receiving compliments from you. They help him more than you’ll ever know.

Kayn

(A/N: Anon I really like and agree with the direction you headed in your request, though I think there’s some added nuance to it which I will talk about below!)

With the general public/your relationship early on Kayn would play things cool until he’s alone. He has an image to maintain damnit. He’s the “rebel” remember?

But with you? As things progress and your relationship becomes more established, you see a remarkable shift in Kayn when it comes to how he accepts praise/compliments. At least with you/in private.

Part of the reason he brushed off compliments early on was due to inner insecurities after being kicked out of his old group. Not to mention people who were just shmoozing up to him to use him/his fame (fucking social climbers). But as he realizes you’re sincere when you compliment him, you love Shieda Kayn and not just Kayn the rockstar, and you’re not going anywhere, well it’s like a switch is flipped!

Now he needs/wants compliments from you like he needs air to breathe. And he’s far more open about accepting them. He’ll even ask you to elaborate on what you mean. 😂 “I mean I know I’m sexy, baby, but why specifically do you think I’m sexy?” And when you do compliment him, those are the moments when his giving love language of physical touch manifests itself to show his appreciation (use your imaginations).

His receiving love language is words of affirmation. So give him all the compliments you desire. He’ll accept them all! (He still tries to play things cool when he’s in public though, that’s just how it be.)

K’Sante

The fucking epitome of self-confidence like my god. K’Sante knows he’s HIM. (As he should because he absolutely is!) His self-confidence is a goal all of us should attempt to go for. (Literally like wow king go the fuck off I fully support this.)

K’Sante is definitely one of the members who will play it off the easiest. Not in a way where he makes it seem like it’s unappreciated, no no no, definitely not. But rather compliments don’t really fluster him or phase him that much compared to some of the others.

That being said, he still enjoys getting complimented by other people (deep down, don’t we all?), and he’ll thank them. He might be self-confident but he wasn’t raised to be a jerk. He appreciates the kindness of others! He might even respond in kind with a compliment for whoever he’s talking to! Or if it’s you then he’ll have like ten compliments ready to fire back at you off the top of his head.

The one area of his life where compliments really fluster K’Sante have to do with his designs. He puts a lot of effort into each piece he designs and creates, so for someone to notice and compliment that effort is something he very much appreciates. When he is flustered, you’ll notice he has to take a second to gather his thoughts and the right words.

Obviously your opinion means more to him than the opinion of others, so when you do compliment him, watch his smile get wider, watch his posture get a little taller, and watch as his energy gets even brighter and more infectious for those around him.

Sett

Similar to K’Sante, Sett knows he’s HIM. He’s called “The Boss” after all. That’s certainly not a nickname given to just anyone. Whether in the studio or in the ring, Sett knows he’s the man and 98% of the time he doesn’t care about anyone else’s opinion or approval.

So because of that, again he’s one of the ones who will play off most compliments fairly easily. He’s not super flustered by them, though he appreciates them. And because Ma is the best and raised him with fucking manners, he of course, will always thank the person who complimented him for their kind words.

But now it’s time to focus on the 2% of the time he does care. I’m sure this comes as no shock, but there are only two people’s opinions he reeeeeally cares about. Yours and Ma’s. The two most important people in his life. When the two of you compliment him on something, this giant, confident, usually composed man actually gets a little flustered! Especially when those compliments come from you.

Sett really doesn’t seem like a blusher when it comes to other people, but when you compliment him on something innocent, his cheeks immediately turn just the sweetest bit pink as he gets the happiest grin on his face. (His reaction is definitely different when your compliments are regarding more…private matters, but I’m not going to focus on that rn.)

And his EARS. His ears are the biggest telltale sign he’s flustered. His ears happily flick back and forth, which is admittedly really cute. It’s just very sweet honestly, seeing how much your opinion means to “The Boss!” (He just has such a soft spot for you and I love it.)

Yone

Yone would be in a similar boat to Aphelios. Again it depends on who is complimenting him, what they’re complimenting him about, and the setting he’s being complimented in.

Now Yone is extremely talented at what he does. (We all know this.) And he knows he’s talented. Of course he doesn’t let that make him too arrogant or anything. Any compliments he receives on his music, he genuinely appreciates and will he show/express that sincere appreciation to whoever is giving him the compliment. Making music takes a lot of effort and to become respected like him is only a dream for so many other artists. That’s something he realizes and he is extremely grateful for the fans and everyone else who helped him get to where he is.

Personal compliments he’s just a lot more reserved about, especially ones having to do with his appearance. Like he knows he’s considered attractive, but honestly the only opinion he cares about regarding his appearance is yours. Anyone else he’ll give a soft smile and a “thank you.” But he wouldn’t blush or anything crazy.

But with YOU???? Any compliment you give him makes his entire day, week, month, etc. And when you compliment him on his appearance (because let’s be real how could you not??? That man is so FUCKING FINE) he actually feels pride about how he looks. (AS HE SHOULD.)

Compliments from you make that stoic exterior crack. Yone actually blushes a bit. And your compliments make him smile wider and bring a spring to his step. Compliments from you are what get Yone teased by the other Heartsteel members for reacting just a little bit like a happy puppy at times. (They’re in awe of you for having that power.) That’s your influence over him, honestly, and that’s how much he values your opinion.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Thank you so much for requesting, Anon! I hope I did your request justice! This was so cute and fun to write! Lmao the way I’d be complimenting them all the time because they deserve it. 💙

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

currently reading "own the scars" i just finished chapter 15 where louis and harry just got in a big fight because harry professed to him and louis (totally in love back, i mean even nick knew) was obviously taken aback (i wouldve been too) and they got into it????? and now harry's going to boston?????? this is so complicated, im gonna cry i can feel it.

its so good though. youre talented and i thank god for the happy ending tage

People get SO MAD at me for that chapter, but it’s what needs to happen. (To quote Jeremy Strong, it’s what makes sense dramaturgically!)

One of my pre-readers while I was writing had SUCH a virulent reaction that I actually questioned if I was doing the right thing. I’ll always be grateful to @disgruntledkittenface for being the best beta in the world and telling me to trust my gut there and that I should absolutely not change it ❤️❤️

I hope you enjoy the rest of BOTH Harry and Louis’ journeys in this story. They both still have some growing to do!! I promise it’s worth it.

[glitter50000]

Fic inspiration

Ulla ducks her head and gives a humorless chuckle. “It was never the mother, was it?” 

Her father regards her with a pained smile. “No, it wasn’t.” 

———————————————————————

He loved Ulla, truly, grey skin and all, she was still his child. Her laughs and giggles would fill the air with a joyous melody. He knew Ulla showed more promise as a baby than most sildroher ever have during that age. 

On dark days a small, ugly part of him thinks of taking her back to shore, finding her birth mother, and thrusting the baby in her hands without a word as she did him, never visiting again. 

During the times when Ulla’s wails would bounce across the walls and make the flowers shrivel and rot. He didn’t have a problem with it, she had a strong voice after all, but when the others complained it was a different story. How they glared at the two of them or sneered at the baby for the tone of her cries. 

The times when his wife would look at Ulla with an odd look, something akin to fear, repulsion, or pity. When that specific look would be on him instead. He remembers squashing down the hurt at the time she recoiled at Ulla reaching her little hands out to her or having just stood there as the baby cried. 

He would never want to give Ulla away though, for he never regrets her in the first place. 

———————————————————————

“You can hold her if you want.” 

She’s broken out of some trance by his voice as he comes over to the crib. He chuckles a little at that, recalling the occasions when she would hold Ulla with a smile on her face, entertaining her with a song almost as if she forgets about the baby’s heritage. Though now it seems she remembers the other half. 

“She won’t bite,” he says amusedly. 

“I know that,” she mumbles, glancing at Ulla’s tail and his. He sighs and moves to pick Ulla up instead, scooping her up in his arms. 

“You must think I’m a whore.” He tells her bluntly. Sometimes he sees her looking at him with what could be a trace of disgust. Remembers how uncomfortable she seemed when they were courting each other and she first met Ulla and he confided in her about Ulla’s true parentage. Still, she wanted to marry him and look after her like she was her own, despite it all. 

“What,” she’s taken aback, “no, no I don’t think that's all, it’s just…” she trails off, gripping the edges of the crib tightly. It’s silent for a moment before his wife speaks again. 

“I wish she had been mine.” She whispers.

———————————————————————

He still thinks about her at times, the shadow summoner, either with anger or nostalgia. Looking back to when she made him sing symphonies during their lovemaking.

Sometimes he wonders if he ever would’ve met Ulla had she not been born with a tail. Or would she have taken her away wherever she went and he would still be waiting for the bell to ring? 

———————————————————————

Brave little Ulla. Coming home on the bad days when there’s too much teasing with tears in her eyes, yet still acting strong and holding her head high. 

[girlvinland]

This is a post I don't really feel good about writing, but at the same time, it's something I feel like I keep wanting to vent about and that I don't really...have enough places to vent about. I have my therapist, but I feel like even then, I can't unload it all on her bc I feel like I never have enough time even if it comes up here and there. Unloading it on other people who aren't her typically leads to them going on the defensive about the things I want to talk about, even when I try to be gentle or more objective in discussing it. I feel like here is one of the places I usually feel okay talking (even though I know that's probably stupid in some ways), but idk. It's comfortable because it's familiar and bc my words aren’t being directed at any one person. Sorry this is really long, btw.

I feel like I've talked about sexuality so much the past year or so, and I feel like I've taken so long, like...longer than a lot of people...to fully unravel things about myself. My teens were reserved for me barely scratching the surface of anything bc I was petrified of it and had zero exposure to anything that would have helped me in any way. My twenties were like, the first stage of my actual exploration and unfurling, where I was like...wait...this is a viable option? Other people are like this...I'm meeting people who understand. Does that mean I could let myself have that option too? But I still went on like no...no. I'm basically meant to live someone else's life and not seek out any further answers. The past five years I did seek out more answers and really did a lot of work, and that's like...still quite a long time to sort through some of this (or at least, it feels that way).

All of that is just history now though, so it’s not actually what I want to discuss. The thing that I don't feel good about is how my emotions have felt wrt everything currently. I've started to feel like such a bitter person for it, but I don't know if, in some way, the things I feel are justified after years of trying to understand my relationship to the world at large and how my sexuality relates to it. I want to believe that they are and that I'm just at a stage where I can experience these emotions fully in ways I haven’t before and that eventually they'll start to mellow out.

For instance, the past couple of years I've started to become somewhat like…irrationally irritated when it comes to hearing about boyfriends/husbands/etc of my friends who are cis women. Sometimes in general, but mostly when it's in the context of someone complaining about their partner in a day-to-day sort of way. The normalization of that in a heteronormative society has started to become something I just…really dislike hearing about. After going through my own “straight-passing” relationships (idk if this term is ok to use and I’ll change it if not), I almost feel like I just don't have the time or care for it anymore, even when I want to be supportive. Also, it’s hard for me to not apply my own experiences and biases, and a part of me always ends up wanting to be like. If you aren't happy, please try and do something to fix it. Converse with your partner about it. Leave if it's bad enough that you can't deal with it anymore. Get a therapist for yourself or both of you to work things out. Idk. It feels unfair for me to be like that when family or friends want to vent, but I also find it so hard to deal with now or like, it sends my brain to the boomer comic “I hate my wife but I’m just going to complain and not doing anything to change it” realm (and I understand that a lot of times, it is the partner who has little interest in changing things even when the other person is trying, which is even more frustrating to some extent).

The other thing I feel guilty about is this disdain I've developed of hearing about cis male celebrities/characters/crushes in more heterosexual regards (I want to specify that this doesn’t mean I actively dislike the celebs or characters or anything like that, not usually anyway. There are a ton of male chars I enjoy and everything, and tbh idc that much about celebrities in general). I feel like for the past few years I've been going through a period where I'm so tired of being exposed to it though (even with my own chars being sexualized by other ppl tbh) and all I want to do is to engage in media/culture that somehow dismantles anything cisheteronormative or that focuses on couples that aren’t cis/straight (I’ve esp sought out so much more wlw-adjacent media in recent years bc I’ve found myself connecting to it in a way that’s like…holy shit I want to make up for years of things I didn’t have access to or didn’t know existed).

Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like talking about that more often leads to a level of anger or annoyance on the part of people who don't feel that way, even though there is so much less media and discussion about those things in general. A lot of this is more relevant to irl straight friends I have and stuff, where it's fine for them to talk about all of the things they like when it relates to men or romance centered around men, but I don't necessarily have the same ability/level of acceptance from them to discuss media focused on anything else wrt romance/sexuality. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of queer friends and whatnot, but most of them live elsewhere now (I also live elsewhere from many of them) and in general, the majority of people I'm exposed to in regular life are usually straight bc statistically that's just how it is and everything. It frustrates me though how it feels so acceptable for them to talk about whatever male celebrity/char or straight romance thing is popular, but I just kind of have to stand there and nod while wishing I could talk about the stuff I like too when it comes to like, wlw/lesbian media or whatever. That sounds selfish, but I feel like it reflects society’s general view on anything queer, and I think that’s why it gets to me more. Like maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much if that wasn’t the default/if I could speak about things as freely too. I know a lot of people feel that way, I don’t mean to make that or any of this post sound like some experience that is unique to me.

Anyway. I'm sorry if this vent comes off as weird or abrasive at all. It's really, really not my intention, nor is it directed at any one person or relationship and is more just a reflection on how my emotions are now when I think about cisheternormative society and that kind of thing. In the past I was able to kind of...blind myself to a lot of it, I think, or at least be more jokey about it in the times when it did annoy me. And after the years of working to distance myself from it, these aspects of it have started to seem really pervasive, even more so than I felt they were before. Like I said, I don't feel good about feeling these things and I don't want to always feel them. I hope I can work through them and get to a place where they don't bother me, or at least, not as much as now. I truly think it's a situation of like…breaking free of my own binds/feeling this freedom now and seeing things in a different light than I was able to before when I had the blinders on, and maybe once I settle into myself more, I’ll be able to shake those emotions off or find better ways to cope with them. I feel like a lot of this is stuff that’s always existed and always will, and the ways in which society operates are very hard to change, but I can kind of adapt the way I see and experience things so that they’re healthier for me. I’m just. Still in the early stages of doing that, and maybe it will take a little time to understand how to make it more productive/easier for myself. I didn’t get to this place overnight, and I’m sure I have a lot more to learn on this particular journey.

[sassmill]

I’m just. So interested in the relationship between grief and trauma and arousal and anger.

[dan-crimes]

I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis

[samarecharm]

Scheming…

[katyspersonal]

Idk why you get hate when your blog is one of the most honest i have come across and your lore posts are so meta that i don’t even think most bb youtubers have discovered what you have lol. Y’all just got jealous haters.

It is far not the first time I've heard explanation that people are just jealous, really :') 👍 Like... That Alfred-chan (aka Clod Frollo) simply hated me and was jealous and latched onto the first chance to justify the unending wish to remove me is painfully apparent at this rate. Inventing up bigotry, harm and opinions that were never there to get the chance to declare someone you hate a "witch" is the oldest trick in the book! If you convince people the person is bad and harmful, you are automatically justified to treat them however you want.

It might be my lore, because they were really mad at the fact that I write essays on multiple occasions? Like, they try to paint it as me "having no life" or "being mad", but. dude. dude you are projecting. If the only way you could write essay on a topic you care about is abandoning all your chores and needs and/or getting mad at someone, then I have bad news for your intellect? :/ This is a very common attitude from people that cannot say anything interesting on their own and just post the same two-sentence brainlet takes about how much male characters/fans suck or how their [LGBT headcanon] is the only true interpretation and everyone who disagrees can't analyse media. 🤔 So how can they feel better about not having as many interesting headcanons or good theories? They've picked the low-effort way - to attempt destroying the value of "lore essays" by painting them as a bad thing! I will be real tho - they've gotten like, two asks about their headcanons in a lifetime (both about the same character, ironically) and shown that they CAN post something good when they want to, so eventually it is the matter of choosing low-effort way. Destroying is easier than creating!

It could also be freedom, and honesty, like you said. Some people's only trump card is being """good"""! Some people think if they put 'transphobes DNI' in their bio and regularly seek to call out bigotry that isn't here they are automatically a good person who is now allowed to stalk, harass, be toxic in general and push even genuinely innocent people under the bus. But I do not have to compensate for lack of personality and latch onto any ideology or activism - I am already a pretty awesome and interesting individual on my own. 😎 Not to mention how they have to put on the hard show of fighting "for the common good" to keep their following engaged, meanwhile I still have very genuine and deep support even despite my honest fuck-ups (forget the fabricated accusations!). I don't have any other theory than them knowing (maybe subconsciously) that by surrounding themselves by witch-hunters ideological soldiers, they've trapped themselves in the situation where if THEY fuck up - their "fans" will turn on them, if not cancel them. Building following based on ideology instead of shared interest (or one's own unique radiant personality, like mine 😎) is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Because... guess what? Correct, because that sort of people eats their own.

________________________

I'd appreciate no more personal asks like this for some time, because I genuinely start to feel guilty talking about myself so much (in my personal blog.... hmmm logical...). But again, kids, remember - you must make your worth with cool shit like talent, great personality traits, positively encouraging others, etc and not in ideology and making up witches you could "defeat". That person has the capacity by having some nice ideas, being able to craft stuff, drawing. They could easily win all the supporters they've lost back and outgrow me by LARGE merit if they apologised, admitted mistakes and committed to cultivating positive emotions, discussions and content. It is basically so easy and it is so much cringe to take so many Ls because of jealousy and obsession?

[gravedigest]

Trying to figure out how to word the fact that old people in a future setting would be elite video game experts.

Like with handling a controller, like all these kids these days and their newfangled computer brains, back in MY day we could type 500 words a minute with our FINGERS and had the twitch responses of a god.

Doc headshots Deimos 6 times in their game and Deimos has no idea what the fuck is going on because he doesn’t know how to aimbot.