#in worrying about how people will react

[crinkle-eyed-boo]

currently reading "own the scars" i just finished chapter 15 where louis and harry just got in a big fight because harry professed to him and louis (totally in love back, i mean even nick knew) was obviously taken aback (i wouldve been too) and they got into it????? and now harry's going to boston?????? this is so complicated, im gonna cry i can feel it.

its so good though. youre talented and i thank god for the happy ending tage

People get SO MAD at me for that chapter, but it’s what needs to happen. (To quote Jeremy Strong, it’s what makes sense dramaturgically!)

One of my pre-readers while I was writing had SUCH a virulent reaction that I actually questioned if I was doing the right thing. I’ll always be grateful to @disgruntledkittenface for being the best beta in the world and telling me to trust my gut there and that I should absolutely not change it ❤️❤️

I hope you enjoy the rest of BOTH Harry and Louis’ journeys in this story. They both still have some growing to do!! I promise it’s worth it.

[qoldenskies]

I like to imagine that after some time ccDonnie gets really into training with his bō and in training in general. He's such a solution orientated person I feel like it would get really unbearable for him to feel like he's the weakest and defenseless - after all isn't all of this his fault for being so dense that he could not tell that something was oh so obviously wrong with his brothers and for being so weak that he ended up getting so physically hurt? So really this is something he needs to fix again. Focusing too much on his tech has made him a liability and bad at reading his brothers, so he tries to balance tech and training more.

So I imagine that as an adult Donnie is quite a scary aggressive fighter - softshell turtles are quite aggressive in nature after all, precisely because of their softness - and appears quite distant and cold to outsiders. You would have to know him for quite some while and be really attentive to notice that at heart he is far more gentle mannered and soft, but the most important people in his life already know that.

Also!! I love it when in tmnt whump writers use turtle behaviours as therapy - like swimming being therapeutic. Maybe ccDonnie would also really enjoy swimming and letting his mind rest after all this?

I really liked the animatic!!!! And can't wait for the last chapter of cc! Sending love

honestly this is something i could see! combat is going to be a hard thing for donnie to go back to in particular even without his brothers because he's kind of conditioned himself to panic and do little, curl up in a ball and steel himself. and mixed with the final attack i think he's just going to have problems getting back into the environment and mindset

but like, when he does? i could definitely see some overcompensating going on. donnie gettting vicious out of fear of being helpless again. being triggered and seeing red, falling back hard on the urge to fight back that DID save his life. it stopped leo from slitting his throat and held raph off, really. its still frenzied and panicked but there's an edge of uncharacteristic anger there. he'd otherwise normally be very precise and tactical in his combat, and i do think it'd be a skill he would put a lot of focus on.

im unsure about socially though. i could see him giving off that energy because he would be quiet for SURE, and he always looks on edge and nervous (which can be interpreted as "fuck off" body language lmao) but donnie is hyperaware of other people and he always will be going forward. when he actually opens his mouth he'll be very appeasing, at first at least. i do think he'll be really nervous around new people and it'll make it hard for him to find new connections, but he'll actually be one of the better ones with that. leo will be nasty because of paranoia for a long time.

(also omg yeah i am a little envious because i would LOVE to meditate underwater ... just go under there for ages and chill ... need to project this urge onto him it sounds so calming)

[gingermintpepper]

I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)

SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??

OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS

I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).

Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀

Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.

(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)

(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)

Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.

[genericpuff]

Hey puff! So you said Hades is a "mess who hasn't spilled over" and there are definitely some warning signs even now - Artemis' dislike, the ominous grin in the last chapter does not bode well for Alex, him treating Minthe pretty badly and dismissively, being open about his attraction to Kore while acknowledging Minthe, eating Dio to shut him up and laughing about it (No Kronos flashbacks, Hades??) Of course he did a lot of this in LO too but that was framed as a good thing and you seem more self aware than that.

My question is are he and Kore still endgame with his bad traits? Or is Kore just hiding a much darker, more selfish side who would like all this?

Hades and Kore are both very, VERY complicated people with complicated backstories that involve both the good and the bad. They're both victims of circumstance as well as their own wrongdoings (even the ones that were well-intentioned, they're both walking the road to hell wink wink), they're both holding on to some pretty dark shit and we're going to be exploring plenty of both sides along the way. I'm obviously trying not to spoil anything, but I will say that Hades and Persephone are not going to have a cut-and-dry 'fairy tale romance' like what was attempted in LO, Rekindled is attempting to be a more faithful retelling of the original Hymn to Demeter after all (or at least its original themes and messaging). They're both incredibly damaged people with a lot of tightly-sealed baggage that DESPERATELY needs to be unpacked and we all know what happens to relationships built on those types of foundations ;0 So that's all ima say on that ~

As for the irony of Hades 'eating' Dionysus, hurt people hurt people. Though I wouldn't worry about Dionysus, he just projects his consciousness into berries, he's alive and well ;) As for Hades... let's just say you shouldn't eat berries possessed by the god of madness, guy is gonna have a harsh comedown LOL

[garlicboyart]

dont knock people i admire you.. your minds are so huge…

[good-beanswrites]

Haruka kidnapping Fuuta

(Order of Attack, I mean.)

Oooh, this was so interesting! I think Mahiru was so used to going with the flow, and didn’t seem to be moving around that much, that I didn’t see a lot of thoughts about her wheelchair specific struggles – but I 100% think Fuuta would experience wheelchair-grabbing violations… (Tw for that and brief mention of suicidal thoughts)

“Fuuta-san? C-can I, um, tell you something, alone? M-maybe back in my cell?”

Haruka looked between him, and where Amane and Mahiru sat around the wheelchair. His gaze was intense and pleading, but Fuuta huffed in reply.

“Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of them. I don’t have time for little kid drama like this.” He hoped the nonchalance could paint Haruka as the scared one of the situation.

Throughout the whole trial, not even Amane had caught on to his fixation over how many people were in a room at a time. Aside from the nights, which left him panicked and alert regardless, Fuuta made sure no less than three people gathered in a room at any given time. It was entirely logical – after all, they had very compelling evidence that two people weren’t enough to call for help if trouble arose. It was doubly true now that Fuuta couldn’t work his own wheelchair with a broken arm. Also, he still didn’t know who he could trust. Kotoko was the obvious danger, but some of the others were too unpredictable for him to comfortably sit alone with. Mikoto had been having those outbursts, and he didn’t like the jealousy in Muu’s eyes after verdicts were announced. 

However logical it was, the others would certainly label it melodrama if they knew the way his heart rate skyrocketed when there were too few people around. When questioned, he always gave a short, “it’s nothing.” 

So, even at the heartfelt request, he kept his words short and prayed the others kept their attention on Haruka.

The boy’s face fell. “O-oh, that’s okay. Um, another time, then.” He bowed his head and slipped out the door.

Mahiru poked Fuuta where she knew there were no bandages, shooting him a look. “You should let him talk to you! It sounded like a big deal.”

“Eh? But I tried! I didn’t think he’d just leave, jeez…”

“Next time –”

“Yeah, yeah, next time.” 

When the next time arrived, Kazui and Amane were the ones unknowingly maintaining the room’s safety for Fuuta. They were each involved in their own activities in the common room, but simply having them nearby was enough.

“Um! Is now a good time to-to talk?” 

Haruka’s voice strained even more. His eyes appeared even more wild. It unsettled Fuuta, but also meant he had no choice but to honor Mahiru’s request if things were already this bad.

“I mean, if you really need to, we could –"

“Great!” Without another word, he’d grabbed the back of the chair and was whisking Fuuta out into the hall.

“Hey!” He looked frantically over his shoulder, but Amane looked just as peaceful as always. He wanted to call out to her, but what could he say? He’d either admit he sounded like a panicked child, or need to insist it was nothing.

Even when he did get control of his voice, snapping a quick, “oi, wait a second!” it was too late. The panopticon rushed past him. He’d missed his window and was completely isolated.

The boy dragged him into the darkened cell, leaving him in the center of the floor.

His voice was tinged with the same hysteria in his eyes. “I just, well, I need to do something drastic. You’ll understand. I know that-that you’ll understand. I p-promise this will be quick.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Fuuta’s mind raced as fast as his pulse. “Something drastic?” 

“It’ll be quick…”

Fuuta craned his gaze backwards to see Haruka close and latch the door. He immediately regretted the motion, pulling something tight in his chest and shortening his breath. He spun back to gasp a raspy inhale.

“The Warden won’t p-pay attention to us unless someone gets hurt,” Haruka continued from behind. “They’ll only pay attention if – if someone dies.”

His footsteps approached. Fuuta grasped at his chest. As soon as he got his breath back, he’d cry out – but would anyone hear him? How much time would he have, before…?

“That’s why… I have to do this.”

Fuuta used to feel strong. He used to feel in charge, in control. He could go about his day feeling capable, and safe, and not think twice about who was in the room with him. He could talk when he wanted, walk where he wanted.

Now, he could only sit here, in a murderer’s room, unable to speak up as he circled around the wheelchair.

Haruka smiled. “No one will m-miss me, anyways.”

Fuuta blinked. He finally managed a shaky, “you?”

A knock on the door made both of them flinch. Muu’s voice came muffled from the other end. “Haruka-kun? Are you in there? I thought we were going to play a game.”

“Y-yeah!” Then, whispering, “ah. We can, um, talk another time.”

He went to answer the door, leaving Fuuta to hang his head. All his muscles untensed – he’d surely pulled more than his chest in his panic. And what shameful panic it was, worrying about himself, when this never had anything to do with him. 

It seemed he’d failed at being a hero in more ways than one.

On their way back to the common room, while Fuuta was contemplating the best person to confide the news to, Haruka apologized. “S-sorry for bothering you.”

Fuuta was glad he couldn’t see the expression that crossed over his face. “It was nothing.”

[ninyard]

i am a BIG supporter of create what you want for your own joy, so absolutely do what you would like to do for the trial!! no one should be pressuring you to do it a specific way unless that’s how you Want to do it.

but if you were asking about what we’d like… personally i would love to see the whole trial as much as possible (i really don’t want you to overwhelm yourself) especially for higgin’s and nicky’s parts!! i like when we see more than just Big Main Parts, especially bc you flesh it out so well <3 sometimes it’s even more hard hitting when it’s Not from the people we expect, you know?

also, thank you for making the socmed aus!! they make me giggle and kick my feet every time, and also wail in agony and clutch at my chest… you have the range <3

GOD i wrote a whole long ass response to this and i didn't realise until too late that my phone was going to die </3 and it died </3

But it was something along the lines of I'm really glad that the general consensus seems to be to do all five days of the trial, or however many days it ends up being, from start to finish. For me personally it'd feel unfinished if I skipped parts just to get to the ~interesting~ parts, and I think if I'm going to make something like this then I want to show it all.

It's not this deep, but I guess it's like... It's fucked up. People are making memes about a murder trial involving rape and other things that are just not funny at all. And skipping parts just to get to "GOD NEIL IS SO CHAOTIC ON THE STAND" or whatever feels,,, insensitive? Unjust?? I don't know

but people are also doing that shit in real life. About real people, real trials, with real victims and real perpetrators. Sensationalising trials just because it's a celebrity on the stand, or it's an "interesting" murder trial or whatever. People are making memes and jokes about them. And people are making their own minds up about the verdict because of it. I want to show people who think Aaron's guilty because of something the cop who arrested him said. I want to show people who think Andrew is an unreliable witness because of something Higgins says, somebody who thinks Aaron isn't guilty because a forensics team mentioned something about the crime scene that they don't think sounds right. I want to make this from the outsider view on the publics reaction to a trial, and specifically people who almost idolise Aaron, or Kevin, or Neil, or Andrew. People who don't see them as human, but as celebrities, as people who are supposed to be perfect. People who see a trial like this and think, "it's okay for me to make jokes about this, or to post about this, because they're just famous people. They're not like real people to me."

People are at home becoming twitter lawyers and making up their minds based on what they read or see online, and it almost separates the reality of the situation from the "characters" that people create out of defendants and victims. You see people hopping on bandwagons or hate trains or whatever when it comes to these kind of public trials. People making clips of something "funny" a lawyer or witness said for the sake of content. People making temporary celebrities out of the judge and jury and legal representation. For what? For likes?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to show the different sides of how people actually react to trials like this without becoming insensitive to the fact that trials like this,,, do actually happen. But by making a fan tweet a joke about murder, I'm making that, I'm thinking of the words that go into the tweet. So it's tough. And again I know it's not that deep, but that's kind of... most of the reason why I've been putting it off? Because it's hard. It's hard not to feel like it sensationalises those kinds of things. It's hard not to feel like "God, am I just making fun of this situation here?" while also being reminded that yeah, maybe, but people actually react like that.

So is it worth the tumblr post to make memes and tweets out of something that happens irl, and affects real people? Is it insensitive, or is it just fandom stuff that isn't perceived in an insensitive way at all, because it is just that, a fandom post?

[fromtheseventhhell]

I ignore about 95% of the conversations surrounding Arya having killed people because, outside of Arya stans, people refuse to include the context of the very violent circumstances she experiences + her trauma which influences her actions. She wasn't destined to be a killer and her being forced on the run, having to survive during a war (at times on her own), having to witness countless people being tortured and murdered, being enslaved as a prisoner of war, having to witness the deaths of her family, etc. are all hugely important factors. Not to mention the times when her life is literally on the line and she has to make tough decisions to ensure her survival. The only time her trauma is acknowledged is when people are using it to prove she's "too far gone", otherwise it's essays on how she hasn't suffered that much. It's so boring how people ignore well-developed characters just to reduce them to one or two aspects of their story. And this treatment is only for certain characters; let someone mention Sansa being part of the plot to poison Sweetrobin and all of a sudden, people can understand being forced to make questionable decisions under difficult circumstances.

[rileylastname]

has the ceaseless unavoidable presence of undisclosed AI generated content absolutely everywhere made anyone else’s mental health so much worse basically all of the time or is it just me

[hephaestuscrew]

Sometimes I think about Dominik Koudelka's assistant who takes Minkowski's call in Ep43 Persuasion...

In the moment, dismissing the voice on the other end of the phone feels like the right thing to do. She can't just put any random person who calls through to Mr. Koudelka immediately; if she did, there would be no point in him having an assistant at all. And when that random caller is claiming to be Mr. Koudelka's dead wife, of course it would be wrong to subject him to that. (Cont. below cut)

She's seen Mr. Koudelka in the denial stage of grief, if only from a professional distance. She knows that the only time he took off after he heard the news was the day of his wife's funeral. She knows he started working days so long it was a wonder he got any sleep at all. She's heard rumours that he tried to insist that The Times' coverage of the shuttle crash ought to use the word 'allegedly' more. Apparently he ignored every sensitively-worded inquiry about whether he wanted to have any input on his wife's obituary.

Mr. Koudelka certainly doesn't need some cruel joke reopening emotional wounds. It's better not to mention it to him. His assistant knows that she did the right thing. 

Or at least, she thinks she did. But she still can't stop thinking about that voice on the other end of phone, its desperation, its sense of urgency, its bizarre impossible claim.

So maybe she finds herself looking up Renée Minkowski, just to set her mind at ease. And there's surprisingly little information out there, but she eventually finds a clip of an interview from just before the launch of the Hephaestus mission. And that's when her stomach drops. She recognises the voice in the video. It's the same voice as the one she heard on the end of the phone. She's sure it's the same voice.

And what is she supposed to do then? Go to her boss and tell him that his wife is alive? Tell him that she lost him potentially his one chance to talk to his presumed dead wife? Admit that she didn't tell him about that call straight away? She's got no proof, just her memory. What if she's wrong about it being the same voice? Maybe it was a good impersonator, or a technological trick, or the power of suggestion. Is telling him the truth worth risking her job for? Is it worth risking giving false hope to a widower who has only just begun to move on? What if he doesn't believe her? What if he does?

[ssreeder]

Hey Sreedy! I’ve been re-reading the LIAB series (and it’s BRILLIANT, as always), but I had a question! So in the first book of the series, I never noticed just how quickly Sokka develops feelings for Zuko, I guess it felt slower when we were all reading it in real time! As I’m rereading, I do notice the subtle hints of Zuko reciprocating those feelings, and I wonder: Was there a specific moment where Zuko fell in love, or was it a bunch of little things, like washing dishes with him?

Anyways, I’m not caught up, since life got in the way, but rereading it has been so much fun! I’m noticing so many small details I never noticed before, and relearning information I forgot or missed the first time! I’m super pumped to catch up, and I love this story! You are super talented and hardworking! Thanks so much for writing for us.

HIIII I AM SO SORRY IM SUCH AN ASSHOLE & DIDNT RESPOND SOONER!!! *wipes tears* this is such an amazing ask too….

I did a read more because it got kind of long lol <3 can’t help myself when people ask about my fic I won’t shut up lol.

ok so looking back I do also feel like Sokka fell hard for Zuko pretty fast! But I also feel like Zuko fell just as fast and hard? But where Sokka clung to that love emotion and dove into it for comfort and safety I believe Zuko was the opposite? I think he ran from it, and kept running until Sokka admitted his emotions at the end of book 1 and Zuko had to decide to open up in return or not and luckily he said fuck it I like you too.

I think because of Zuko’s denial it took a lot longer for him to face those feelings, but I think when he started to feel the flutter in his chest when he woke up and thought “I get to wash dishes with sokka today” he kind of knew? A small spark of hope in what was pretty much one of the darkest situations for anyone to be in.

& when the prison was attacked that’s when Zukos feelings crept out to where he couldn’t ignore them? Flee to freedom and risk never seeing sokka again or go back and save him and risk not getting out? I mean…. We all know what he chose to do. After they were out, finally, on the road he probably tried to push those feelings down again but sokka was always there with him and they started to cuddle at night and there was always a special care zuko gave to sokka, and sokka gave back to zuko which… Zuko had never had before except from his mom. & I think the intimacy of care for each other stemmed from the love that was growing.

then sokka got taken lol, and the fear of never seeing him again and something bad happening to him sent Zuko back into the fire to save the boy he loved - and we all know what happened after that…. & I think that was where the codependent-style-of-love came into play? Zukos need to protect sokka at all costs, sokka feeling the same way after coming to the full realization what had been done to the boy he loved - which brought forward that protectiveness in Sokka (he has always been super protective just like his parents) which Zuko had already been demonstrating (willing to walk into Zhaos tent to keep Sokka safe and fight through a burning prison to get Sokka out)

After escaping from that desolate situation, the love they had for each other after almost losing each other bonded them tighter and tighter until they were pretty much woven together. I don’t know if either of them can pinpoint when it happened but I think they both realized when it was real and worth holding onto. I really think sokka admitting to Zuko his feelings is what gave Zuko the freedom to admit he loved Sokka too. 

I’m so happy you’re enjoying your reread I honestly do the same thing when I wanna catch up on a long fic I start from the beginning so I can get a feel for the story again! I’m glad you’re enjoying the little details I’m actually surprised how many came back and played bigger roles later on. Thanks for this amazing comment again so sorry it took me so long to answer!!!

[lunar-wandering]

remembering that im gonna have to get my wisdom teeth taken out sometime next year and experiencing all 5 stages of panic

[amberinn]

Starting to lose my Whit Young kinnie status in that way that i gaf

[blackbackedjackal]

there's cliche's and then there's intentionally leaving a piece vague but it still having meaning and assuming your audience isn't stupid so they can come to their own conclusions about how the piece makes them feel based on visual language

[theygender]

First day back at the office. Work doesn't have any gender neutral/single stall bathrooms which means I'm forced to go in either the women's or the men's, and I get weird looks in both

[butteredfrogs]

vent in tags