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#me x calculus homework
nqmonarch · 3 months
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Valentines Day w/ HSR Characters!
Doing Calc homework and am very stressed, i can feel it everywhere in my body. the math is just not mathing mentally today (i looked at trigonometric identities today so maybe thats why)
Just writing out some messy ideas to take a break
Btw if u sent in a request and I haven't answered it yet I am working on it thank you for your uh question ask thingy i appreciate it, i like to know what people like to read bcus tbh i like to write anything altho jingyuan gets like +10 points cus he fluffy
Valentines Day With Some HSR Characters (Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Stelle)
Jing Yuan
Jing Yuan is old school romantic. You cannot tell me he wouldn't arrive home with a big bouquet of roses (does HSR even have roses?) and 20 other gifts, including but not limiting to boxes of chocolate, teddy bears, and at least one gag gift. There's gotta be at least one, he'd make a dad joke out of it too.
Then he'd reserve one of the best restaurants on the Luofu and bring you there. He'd probably have booked a private room, thank goodness because no one wants to hear the general continuously compliment you until you're a puddle on the floor. What he is best at is attacks. But if he gets a compliment in return he'll freeze up for a moment before playfully returning it.
Jing Yuan doesn't put on his normal coy facade today, instead he just embraces how much he loves you because he's happy to still have you in his life.
Blade
Blade does not know it's Valentine's Day. It's not his fault, cut him some slack. Anyway Kafka probably reminds him that it's Valentine's Day about half way through the day to which he goes into a silent panic. You can't tell he's panicking he's just staring at the wall with a blank face, he actually looks like he wants to murder someone.
The two of you end up celebrating though! He... pulls something together, it really is something. Sure he smells like blood and the waiters are scared, and taking over this restaurant for a Valentine's Day dinner was definitely not in the script but... It could be worse. He's trying his best, really.
Afterwards you and Blade share lots of cuddles! Something he's pretty good at! Holding you just tight enough, and keeping you close to his side-- you just won't be able to get up if you want to get water or anything. He doesn't say too much but you can feel the love in each caress.
Dan Heng
Dan Heng doesn't really like going out, why would he when all he needs is right by his side? So the two of you stay on the express in the archives. What matters isn't where you are but the company. He'd probably get you a few trinkets from different places he's collected over the years, a necklace, a sick looking compass, whatever fits your vibe.
Dan Heng would probably also write you a love poem, and make you read it or awkwardly recite it in front of you. If you read it out loud though he will get unbelievably embarrassed and snatch it away from you. He'd give it back but he'd take some coaxing, be nice okay? His face is already red.
Then when the night draws to a close the two of you would curl up together on that sorry excuse of what he calls a bed. The majority of your body would be on Dan Heng's using him as a pillow, and his arms would be wrapped around your body keeping you still and warm.
Dan Heng's bed is not it man. Personally, I'd get back problems.
Stelle
"You are the one who deserves the golden trash the most," Truly romantic words from Stelle as she hands you a golden trashbag. That is just the first of the gifts she gives you tonight, and the one that's most valuable to her. It's the thought that counts right? You still have no idea what she's talking about when she mentions fighting Sampo as a trashcan...
The two of you spend a romantic night together, walking down the quiet streets of Belobog, and-- did Stelle just investigate a trashcan again? You should be used to this. On the bright side, every time she gets something cool she comes up to you with the biggest smile on her face, it's beyond adorable. Sometimes the trashcans even have good stuff, like a scarf Stelle lets you wear that thankfully doesn't smell like trash.
It's just good to spend time with the person you love. She spends her time catching you up on everything new from her adventures, and when it's too cold to stay out any longer the two of you head to the Astral Express. Where you shower together and then doze off on one of the Express' couch cushions while playing games. Your head rests against Stelle's reminding you, you're never alone.
Okay I need to get back to homework, fun break thanks guys. Imagine being alone on Valentines Day couldn't be me, I have my Calc Homework. It told me I was integral to it <3 legit peak partner material.
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chaoswarfare · 1 year
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dp x dc prompt #23
Danny gets summoned by the justice league, but he’s tired, just finished a ghost fight, missed his morning coffee, is running late on several college assignments, and has been summoned multiple times this week.
Or- Danny screams at the justice league for summoning him until someone offers to help with his rogues and homework, not that they really know what they’re offering to do. The summoning is wrapped up, the big bad is defeated, and Danny gets to go home. Too bad that one of the heroes is absolutely infatuated.
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subsequentibis · 2 months
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ive been saying the 'im a humanities major i cant do math' joke for a long time but i was just reminded today of how much i liked math when i was in high school. math was a bunch of fun puzzles that you got to solve and as long as you understood the process it was so satisfying and rewarding to complete
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xzaddyzanakinx · 3 months
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Study Buddy pt1
Stepdad!Anakin x femme reader
18+ MDNI
Warnings: dubcon, dd/lg, PiV, unprotected sex, gen. smut, baby trapping, edging kinda?, manipulation, possessiveness, age-gap, stepcest, inappropriate relationship, praise kink, breeding kink, innocence/purity kink
Info: stepdad Anakin just adores his stepdaughter! It’s not his fault that she’s so fucking fine. Anakin is a perv but it’s okay cause he loves you, Anakin just wants the best for you! And the best for you is him, obviously. spoiled little naive brat reader but Anakin prefers you that way. Reader acts more innocent/naive than they really are. Reader is over 18
🕊 Dead dove do not eat 🕊
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The one where you just need alittle extra incentive.
You sighed, taking your calculus homework into the living room. Handing Anakin the Pepsi he requested and sat down in the floor. Leaning back against the couch and setting the notebook down on the coffee table so you could get back to work.
"Good girl." He praised, his fingers brushing against your cheek from behind you. He took a long drag from his cigarette before exhaling a cloud of smoke.
"What are you working on?" His eyes trailed downwards, lingering on your body for a moment, taking the opportunity to stare at the dimples in the small of your back. He was relaxed, shirtless and in his favorite pj pants with his socked feet kicked up on the coffee table next to you.
“Calculus homework.” You grumbled. “my brain is basically fried. This shit is driving me nuts.”
You pushed the notebook away in frustration and twirled the pencil between your fingers.
“Hey. Language.” He said gruffly. “Chill out, do you want help? I’m pretty alright at math.”
“Actually, yeah that would be great.” You nodded, grumbling in frustration.
Sometimes all you needed to understand something is to see it from a different angle, maybe Anakin, your step-dad could help with that.
"Alright, alright." He chuckled softly to himself before putting out his cigarette.
Standing up to stretch his arms above his head. The dark hairs leading to the waist of his pants exposed as his shirt rode up his abdomen. He knelt down so his face was level with yours. Reaching out, he took the notebook from you and scanned the pages.
"Hmm... huh... well, let's start here," he said, pointing to a problem written in your neat handwriting. Grunting as he sat down next to you, his arms resting on his knees.
After solving the equation he helped with the next question, and you were finally starting to get the hang of it. He gave you a kiss on the cheek as a reward, a soft one that made you smile, one that said ‘I’m so proud of you!’. For the next one you got right it was an unexpected but smooth kiss to your lips.
“Daddy.” You whispered in shock at his real kiss. “We’re not supposed to do that!”
Anakin’s gaze softened as he pulled you into a comforting hug.
“Aw sweet girl, I’m sorry. I should’ve explained myself first.” He sighed.
“This is real hard work isn’t it?” He asked, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Yeah it is.” You nodded.
He laughed a little. “And what do I always say when you do hard work?”
“You always tell me hard work deserves big rewards.” You grinned, thinking of all the times he’d taken you out to your favorite restaurant, to see a new movie, to buy you new things.
But your favorite rewards and treats were the ones he got you on his way home from work. Sometimes when he felt like you needed a little pick-me up, he’d stop at the store and get you a box of candy or one of those tiny little cutesy squishmallows that come in the surprise eggs.
He smiled, giving you a light squeeze just above the knee. “Exactly!”
“I’ve found a much better way to reward you my sweet girl.” He spoke in a cheerful tone in an attempt to make you smile and it was working effortlessly. “Somethin’ real special that I think you will love.”
“And it’s kisses?” You said, tilting your head to the side.
“Sometimes kisses, sometimes not.” He said, giving you a chaste kiss on the forehead.
“Well what’s the sometimes not?” You asked excitedly, what could possibly be better than kisses?
“Oh come on now.” He teased. “Treats and rewards are always better as surprises aren’t they?”
“Yeah you’re right.” You giggled.
“That's better," he cooed, satisfied by your reaction.
“Now come here, let's continue our 'lesson.'" With a gentle tug, he pulled you into the empty space between his legs, scooting your back toward him enough that he could easily rest his chin on your shoulder to watch you work.
He placed the notebook back on the coffee table and leaned in closer, his breath brushing against your neck as he spoke.
“So, how about we start with some stuff you already know? Something simple to ease us back into things?" He traced slow circles on your exposed lower back with his thumb, his fingers pressing gently into the flesh of your stomach as his massive hand rested on your side.
"O-okay..." You stuttered, unable to ignore the sudden warmth spreading throughout your body.
“Alright.” He nodded, flipping through the text book until he reached the previous chapter you had been working on in class. He wrote out some equations for you to solve and quickly worked them out himself on his phone calculator before typing the answers in his notes app and telling you to get started.
Each step in the equation that you did correctly Anakin would press a tiny little barely there kiss to your shoulder.
“You’re doing real good doll-face.” He praised you quietly with his cheek pressed against yours and couldn’t help but smile when you felt him do the same.
“Just keep working hard and I’ll help when you need me to. But right now, try to work them out yourself and I’ll keep giving you sweet little reward kisses!” He said happily.
“Okay Daddy.” You smiled, leaning back against his chest and setting out to work on the next question.
He chuckled softly, pleased with your progress and willingness to please. As you finished each equation, he would whisper sweet words of encouragement followed by little kisses along your neck and shoulders. He even nibbled your earlobe a few times, which you quickly discovered had that strange butterfly effect in your tummy as well.
"Good girl, good girl," he murmured approvingly as your confidence in your work grew. "You're doing great, keep it up."
“Alright, now I’m gonna make you some new ones, they���re gonna be harder alright? Once we get these down, I’ll set up some more difficult ones and then you can try to ones you were assigned for homework. They’ll seem easy after you’ve worked so hard on these other ones!” Anakin explained as he began writing out new equations for you to solve.
He took great care in making sure to double check the answers to ensure he’d be able to properly tutor you.
After getting the first more advanced one finished correctly, Anakin started his plan to give you a new reward.
“Look at you princess, you’re doing so well!” His voice flowing soothingly as he switched from sweet chaste kisses to nibbling and sucking on your neck.
You gasped, in a state of awe at the way he could turn those chaste kisses into something warm and wet and lingering. Those silky soft lips momentarily destroying your ability to think freely.
While you were distracted, he took the opportunity to sweeten the pot. One of his calloused hands defied any pre-conceived notions that one might associate with such an attribute. One might expect a man with hands like Anakin’s; large rough palms, long fingers, overall strong and veiny, to be brutish or rough.
Though it seemed he was naturally the direct opposite. One of those big strong hands slid from it’s resting place to slip beneath the hem of your shirt. Splaying those long fingers across the expanse of your lower abdomen, pressing gently, just enough to properly feel each breath you took from the rise and fall of your tummy.
After a moment of savoring this intimacy Anakin brought that same hand up over the fabric of your shirt once more. A slow ascent to cup your breast, remaining motionless despite the twitch of his finger that exposed his want for more than a simple touch.
After the next correct answer he finally allowed that eager twitch to bloom into small deliberate circles around your nipple. Sparingly brushing his thumb over the hardened nub in order to properly appreciate and enjoy the helpless whimper that escaped your lips each time.
“Next question?” You asked quietly, Anakin only mumbling a ‘yes’ against your skin as he kept up his slow sensual neck and shoulder kisses paired with both of his now hands softly massaging your breasts and nipples. The added squeeze of his palm was almost soothing. As though he aimed to tame the warming embers of desire that lay dormant beneath your skin.
"Atta girl," he praised, his voice low and husky.
"Now, let's try this one." He observed attentively while you struggled to focus on the task at hand.
He chuckled at the way you squirmed every so often and relented, now guiding you through each step while his hands continued their teasing exploration of your body.
"Almost there, I believe in you sweetheart." Somehow his words felt like the rays of afternoon summer sun that shone through the curtains. You imagined that this must be the equivalent to how your cat feels when he bathes in those rays.
“Well babydoll, this is how we’ll do your homework from now on! You’re doing so so good!” He praised you, reluctantly removing his hands from your breasts.
“You deserve alittle brain break okay?” He said, guiding your head to turn with one finger on your jaw.
Before you could speak Anakin slotted his lips against yours. His tongue swiping lightly across your bottom lip, a slight up turn of his mouth when you gasped. He gently, slowly probed your mouth with his tongue; savoring the unique flavor of you.
‘Raspberry tea and honey, yes, that’s it. That’s what she tastes like.’ He decided, locking that information away into the corner of his mind that was reserved for you. Though that corner was becoming much like the chair in the corner of your room that overflowed with clothes. A few more things stacked on top would topple the precarious pile, spilling all things you into every crack and crevice of his conscience.
Meanwhile you were currently short circuiting. The onslaught of completely foreign sensations he’d provided you with was beginning to quite literally fry your brain. You felt warm, mushy, like your brain was goo and your body was clay, ready and willing to be molded to Anakin in whatever new ways he saw fit.
He pulled back, a wide toothy grin taking over when he saw the glaze that had taken over your eyes. Those beautiful eyes, their rich color stolen away by the deep black of your pupil.
“See? You needed that huh?” He cooed, running his thumb down your jaw while we waited patiently for you to collect yourself enough to respond.
“Uh… uh huh.” You nodded slowly, your cheeks flushed and your throat feeling tight as stoked those ember-coals within you, now burning to form a red hot flame.
“Can I try something pretty girl?” He asked in that seductive whisper.
“Oh, ‘course daddy.” You breathed out, of course you’d let him. You’d let him do anything if it meant you could have more of this.
“Thank you baby.” He whispered as he gently rolled the hem of your shirt up, guiding it up and over your head.
You whimpered, the cool air hitting your burning hot flesh making a cold shiver travel up your spine. You swear you heard a little moan coming from Anakin when he finally caught a glimpse of your bare back, and you were positive you heard one when he reached around once more to massage your breasts and toy with your nipples; he was so incredibly grateful to be rid of that pesky fabric barrier, and even more grateful that you never wore a bra at home.
He squeezed and pulled your nipples gently rolling them between his fore finger and thumb. The feeling was good, warm, and tingly; somehow even better than before. Inwardly you wanted to smack him for not taking off your shirt sooner.
A low moan left your lips Anakin reacting with a light chuckle and a sloppy kiss to the under side of your jaw.
“That's it, you're doing great," He praised, his voice dripping with pride; pride at how well you were responding to him.
He was proud of the you he was slowly bringing to the surface. Teasing the little minx that hid behind your innocence, he knew it was waiting for him. Ready for him to capture and keep it, to train it to feed from his palm.
"Now, let's try this one." He suggested, showing you another equation.
Now his fingers trailed slowly down your stomach towards the top of your shorts. He paused just above them, to follow the curve of the elastic cotton waistband with featherlight fingertips.
"This one might be a bit trickier, but remember, I believe in you." He cooed.
“Okay daddy.” You nodded, breathing heavier. “If you think I can do it.”
“I do princess.” *He reassured you.
Anakin's touch became increasingly bold, his fingers making their way to your inner thighs. Leaving tingling sensation to form between your legs, you jolted for a moment, that single flame of desire growing, burning hotter and hotter.
“Lift up sweetheart.” He whispered.
“M’kay.” You squeaked, your voice feeling small.
He gently removed your shorts, a satisfied hum rumbled in his chest when you sat back down and his hand returned to its rightful place between your thighs.
His teasing touch, the torturously gentle tracing of the edges of your panties making your wetness seep through the thin material of your underwear. He continued to stimulate your nipples, and switched to the opposite side of your neck, while he changed tactics on your lower half. Two fingers pressing lightly against that dampened cotton, massaging slowly, making you squirm slightly in response.
“Oh no, is that uncomfy?” He asked gently, concern in his tone.
“Yes,” You whimpered. “all tingly.”
“It won’t be for long alright princess? Daddy’s right here to help.” He promised, his lips against your ear lobe.
“But-“ You started, wanting to complain. Wanting to ask for more; more of what? Good question and only Anakin had that answer.
He tsks, shaking his head slightly. “Finish this one up sweetheart.”
You whined in response and huffed at not getting your way. But followed instructions regardless because Anakin was always right, he was always here to help, always here to guide you, and always gave in to your wants eventually. He couldn’t stand to tell you no, he just couldn’t do it. It was like it physically pained him to see your bottom lip in a pout.
He signed and applied alittle more pressure to encourage you to get back to your work.
A few agonizing minutes later he confirmed your answer was correct, resulting in your excited and eager reaction. You turned slightly to look back at Anakin expectantly,
He grinned, rolling his eyes. He knew exactly what you were doing, you were waiting for him to deal the next card in your new game.
"Perfect job darlin’ you got it on the first try!” He praised, nuzzling into your hair to smell the warm vanilla scent of it.
He tapped your thigh and you instinctively lifted your legs up. He cooed, soothing words while slipping your panties off and lifting you into his lap. Your wet pussy pressed against the large bulge in his pants, those two fingers slipping past your pussy lips. He coated his digits in your slick, dragging them back and forth, up and down your slit.
“Is that right? Did I do that one? I feel like it’s n-not right.” You asked him for help, and when he confirmed it was correct he dipped the very tip of his middle finger in between your soaking wet folds.
“That's right, baby girl." His voice was low and husky, though alittle richer, perhaps it could be described better as darker.
"Now let's try this one together." With a slow motion, he inserted his middle finger into you fully. As you struggled with keeping your sanity, trying to hold a pencil, and trying not to cry from the overwhelming urge for more, Anakin was merely breathing heavily. Occasionally grunting as your cunt fluttered around his finger, his cock throbbing against you.
"How does that feel?" He asked, his tone dripping with satisfaction at watching you squirm and writhe under his touch.
“I- I like it daddy. It feels good.” You whined, feeling him add a second finger and stretching you a bit. It burned, but in a good way.
“That’s right baby.” Anakin nodded. “It’s supposed to feel good, and I’ll make it even better after we get alllll this silly homework done okay?”
Anakin said as you bucked lightly against his palm, chuckling when he heard a low moan escape your lips as he curled his fingers and pushed them in slowly, dragging them back out even slower. The snail’s pace was tolerable, a thousand times more satisfactory compared to his mean and teasing touches before, though they still continually added to that growing fire pit of yours.
“That's it, baby girl." He praised, adding another finger to stretch you even more.
“Daddy.” You hissed, sucking air through your teeth.
“I know darlin’ it’s okay.” He soothed. “Just sit real still.”
You sniffled, accidentally wiggling a bit too much. “S’hurting daddy.”
He began to thrust his three long digits slowly in and out of you, his hips rocking rhythmically in time with his hands movements.
“Shhh. My little princess." Anakin's voice was filled with sympathy, his fingers moving slower inside you. His thumb starting to rub circles on your sensitive nub. “Daddy’s here, just trust me.”
Your furrowed eyebrows slowly turned into an upward swoop, your anxious lip biting coming to a halt as your jaw dropped open in a silent moan.
“That’s better isn’t it doll?” Anakin asked, a low hum reverberating from him after you responded with a rapid head nod and an experimental roll of your hips.
“Much better.” You breathed out a sigh of relief, his fingers starting up that slow pace again. His thumb flicking back and forth across your puffy little clit.
“This calculus is real hard huh?” He said.
“Yeah it is.” You mumbled, meaning to sound angry, but it really just sounded like a plea.
“Gimme your hand babydoll.” He softly commands.
You let him take your hand and guide it behind you, helping you wrap your delicate fingers around the rock hard bulge in his pants.
“Daddy…” You moaned as your body responded to the feel of his cock in your hand.
“Do you know what a cock is? What it looks like? What it’s for?” He asked slowly and you giggled, nodding in response to his questions.
“Have you ever touched one?” You vehemently said no absolutely not.
“Well daddy is gonna pull out his cock, and help you settle down on it alright? We’ll go real slow and gentle; you tell me immediately if you want me to stop okay?” He explained while softly gliding his hand through your hair, while continuing his slow exploration of the warm, gummy walls of your cunt.
“Can I see?” You asked timidly.
“Of course doll. You can touch it too if you want.” He said softly, removing his fingers from your tight hole.
He took a minute to admire the creamy slick gathered on his digits before offering you one of his fingers.
“Do you wanna know what you taste like?” His voice dark and almost sinister.
You didn’t answer, just parted your lips and let the tip of your tongue hang out. He smirked and slipped his index finger past your lips and rubbed it on your tongue. Your nose scrunched up for a moment, the taste unfamiliar and strange, but it was easy to get used to.
He chuckled, removing it so that he could properly clean each finger with his lips and tongue. Sucking each digit thoroughly, moaning with his eyes fluttering closed at the first taste.
“So sweet.” He whispered.
“Hop up and turn around for me sweetheart.” He said, pinching your ass cheek playfully, just hard enough to make you yelp.
You did as requested and settled back on his thighs. His face was just as red as yours felt. His pupils dilated beyond belief, his bare chest had a thin sheen of sweat. His plump bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he finally got a good look at you.
He had wanted to wait. To wait until he couldn’t stand it any longer. The teasing was for him just as much as it was for you. The reward of such a long and torturous game was well and wholly worth it. To finally see you like this. Flushed and wanton, needy for his cock.
Those tits. God those fucking tits… he moaned cupping them in his hands again. They were beautiful when he could see them from behind you, looking down at them from over your shoulder. But up close and in his face? Stunning. Absolutely breathtakingly stunning.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He whispered, entranced temporarily before he snapped out of it and realized this was not one of his sick and twisted dreams.
Oh and how he had dreamed. Night after night, waking up and having to palm his cock roughly just to get enough relief to go back to sleep, only to wake up the next morning and spend half his time in the shower fucking his fist and desperately wishing it were your tight little cunt.
This was real. He had you, completely naked, drooling and sopping wet, putty in his hands.
“Daddy is gonna make you feel so so good after your homework is done.” He smiled, dreamy and spaced out.
“Pull out my cock baby.” He encouraged, taking your wrists in each hand and helping you pull his pants and boxers down his thighs.
Anakin's cock sprang free from his pants, standing erect and proud before your wide eyes. It was thick and veiny, slightly curved upward towards his belly button.
“Ani…” You whimpered worried about what to do, how to properly do this, if you should do this. You wanted to, needed to. But should you?
“What’re you thinking doll?” Anakin asked, his hands on either side of you running his knuckles up and down your tummy soothingly.
“Am I gonna get in trouble?” You whispered.
“What?” He asked, in confusion. “Why would you get in trouble sweetheart?”
“Well, ‘cause of this…” You mumbled.
“Babydoll.” He cooed, his thumb and forefinger pinching your chin and tilting your head back so he could look directly in your eyes. “You won’t be in trouble. I’m your stepfather right?”
“Uh-huh.” You nodded.
“So that means I get to help make the rules around here doesn’t it?” He said soothingly, cupping your cheek.
“Yeah.” You nodded, a small smile beginning to form on your lips. You were beginning to see his reasoning and justification clearly.
“So it would be silly for you to get in trouble for something I said was okay wouldn’t it?” He smiled softly.
You giggled, nodding. Happy that he answered your question, amazed as always that he was so easily able to wash away your worries and concerns.
“There’s my little princess.” He cooed, rubbing his nose against yours. “Are you ready now?”
“Yes Ani.” You nodded with a smile, kneeling over his dick.
His large hand grabbing the base, holding his visibly throbbing cock steady as he slowly pushed the head against your tight entrance.
"Just relax, baby doll," He whispered in your ear, his other hand gripping your waist tightly to help guide you down his length. "Just breathe in and out slowly."
Your eyebrows furrowed as you put your arms around his neck and took comfort in the way he took control and made you feel safe even when you were so vulnerable in his arms. You were trusting him with a lot right now, the most intimate and sacred side of yourself.
“Anakin… oh gods.” You gasped in pain as he pushed in farther. He rolled his hips gently, popping your hymen, groaning when he felt that precious little thing snap.
“Shhh it’s okay, I won’t move anymore for now.” He held your hips firmly in place, allowing you to bury your face in his neck in an attempt to steady your breath as he did the same.
Your pussy involuntarily clenched around his cock as he shifted, making you wince in dull pain and Anakin grunt in pleasure at the constricting tightness.
"That's a good girl," He praised, his voice hoarse as he forced himself to maintain control. "You're doing great, just relax."
His hands moved down from your hips to squeeze and support your ass cheeks. Leaning in for a kiss, letting out a questioning hum as he ever so slowly started lowering you again. You nodded, letting him know it was okay despite the prickly sensation of tears forming in your eyes.
You focused on his tongue, on his hands, on the racing of his heart beneath your palm.
"Let me know if you need me stop, okay?" He broke the kiss to lovingly ask. “I don’t want to hurt you sweetheart.”
“I will Ani.” You promised, nodded vigorously as he slowly, steadily impaled you on his cock.
“Jesus.” Anakin whined, breathy and strained as he finally bottomed out. Buried to the hilt, feeling comforted in know that you would soon adjust to his size, and he wouldn’t be hurting your poor little weeping pussy anymore.
He hated to see you in pain, and knowing he was the cause was really, really killing him. It was inevitable of course. You were gonna end up speared on his dick sooner or later, and while he was thrilled that it was sooner, he just wishes he could’ve found a way to make it alittle easier on you.
“Be real still, just relax, get used to the feeling doll.” He cooed, soothing hands running up and down your spine.
“Yes Ani.” You whined, thankful for the chance to adjust to feeling so… full.
"Now, let's finish these final problems together, okay?" He said, his voice huskier than usual as he picked up the paper with the remaining equations. “Get your mind off the hurt okay?”
You held the notebook and kept working on one of the equations while Anakin latched on to your nipples and bit down gently.
“Ah!” You yelped, wincing as his bite made you jolt, your cunt squeezing his cock. “Anakin!”
He chuckled kissing your neck and massaging your ass cheeks. “Sorry baby.”
"You know, you're doing really well," he said, his voice full of satisfaction. "I'm impressed with how quickly you've learned it all. This is definitely going to be the way I help you study from now on." Anakin smiled, kissing you softly.
“Almost done.” You whined, scribbling frantically on the page. Trying your best to sit still.
“Baby.” Anakin growled. “Stop wiggling unless you want me to start training you to hold this big fucking cock in your tight little cunt all damn day.”
“Sorry daddy! Didn’t mean too!” You sniffled. “just feels so full, I need to move.” You whimpered, biting your lip.
You were getting impatient with waiting and sick of this stupid math homework and really, really, really impatient for Anakin to help you fuck yourself on his cock.
"Alright, alright." He chuckled, slowly lifting you a little before thrusting up in again.
You sat there, spread out wide on your step daddy’s massive cock. His callous fingers rubbing tight circles on your poor little clit as he fucked you so, so slowly to stop your wriggling and squirming.
“You’re a real good teacher Ani.” You moaned, finishing up the last equation and fighting the urge to moan and cum right then and there just from that tiny bit of relief. “All done.”
Anakin's eyes lit up at your words of praise, his cock twitching inside you in response.
"That's my good girl! So smart." He praised, pulling out almost completely before thrusting back in with more strength than before.
His hands gripped your ass firmly and lifted you up and down his cock until you got the hang of the movement. Slowly picking up the pace once you started a low string of moans that Anakin’s hungry mouth swallowed up in a kiss.
“Reach down and play with your clit while you bounce on my cock.” He ordered.
“yes daddy.” You squeaked in response, whining in relief as you started circling your neglected clit.
“That's it, baby girl." Anakin groaned, his hips moving faster as you found your rhythm.
"You're so fucking good at this.” He praised, his head falling back on the couch cushion.
As you got more confident in your movements he started to meet you halfway with his own thrusts, his cock hitting your G-spot relentlessly, you could feel your orgasm building up rapidly. Your moans turned into high-pitched whimpers of pleasure, your nails digging into his shoulders that you gripped tightly for balance.
“I knew you’d be good,” He moaned. “your body is made for me, it’s perfect. So fuckin’ perfect.”
“Y-yeah daddy.” You whispered on the verge of orgasm. “M’feeling something.”
“Fuck. Th-that’s right doll, I told you I’d make you feel good didn’t I?” He moaned, his voice dark with possessiveness.
Anakin growled low in his throat, his grip on your asscheeks tightening almost painfully. He bit down hard on your neck, leaving a mark as evidence of your sinful affair.
"You're about to cum. That’s what that feeling is darlin’ don’t fight it, just let go." He panted between erratic thrusts, his breath hot against your throat. “Once I make you cum it means you’re mine and mine only. Do you want that?”
“Yes daddy.” You agreed, slurring your words as your body tensed up. “I wanna be only yours.” You were practically drooling as you came violently around his cock, flooding his lap with your juices.
Anakin groaned loudly, his orgasm hitting him like a freight train. The intensity of the fact that he’d given you your first orgasm, that he’d properly and officially earned your virginity, made him feral. His cock twitched and pulsed inside you, releasing wave after wave of hot seed into your tight channel.
“God damn,” he hissed out. “such a good girl, letting me fuck this pretty little pussy full of my cum.”
You whined at his praise, grinding down on his cock when you felt the strange but good sensation of stickiness coat your walls.
"Fuck, baby doll." He panted heavily, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he rode out his own climax. "God you just made me cum s-so fuckin’ hard.”
He stilled his movements and yours to catch his breath, nuzzling your neck and holding you close as he whispered sweet nothings into your hair. He pulled back after a moment, looking down at your disheveled state, he grinned widely, licking his lips in satisfaction.
“Did I do good?” You asked with a wobbly lip. Feeling overwhelmed by your senses, overstimulated to the point of tears. “did I make you happy and proud daddy?”
“Oh, you did more than just make me happy and proud, baby girl." Anakin's eyes glittered with something dark, something… a little scary as he gazed down at you.
“You’re gonna make me a fine little baby momma too.” He growled, his hand reaching out to trace gentle circles on your stomach. “Aren’t you?”
Part Two (final part)
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jinwoosungs · 2 months
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{ 132 }
crush, crush, crush.
megumi fushiguro x fem.reader
no curses | college au.
{ and i'm like, yeah | everything you heard is true | everybody knows i'm hung up on you. }
much like half of the female population of students that attended this university, you had a crush on megumi fushiguro.
something about him was just so appealing to you (and many others). from his deep, emerald green eyes to the way his spiked hair fell across his pale face.
his full lips were often seen set in a permanent scowl, indicating his absolute disdain for something-
and his deep voice was painted in nonchalant tones, as if nothing in the world could ever bother him-
but it was enough to fuel your desire to get closer to him.
being somewhat of a smart cookie, you ended up sharing quite a few classes with the enigmatic megumi. from ethics to advanced calculus, you were honestly just happy enough to be in his presence.
because you knew that the chances of megumi returning your feelings were slim to none, that didn't stop you from doing something a little silly (and quite stupid, really) to get closer to him.
in your advanced calculus class, you purposely failed a sequence of pop quizzes, each and every one of them serving to be like a test drive before the real deal: the first exam worth nearly 20% of your final grade.
your professor, feeling exasperated on your depressingly low averages, finally decided to enlist the help of the student who consistently scored a 100% on every assignment and pop quiz-
megumi.
she calls you to the front of her desk while stopping megumi from leaving the classroom. megumi's eyes were furrowed in confusion, and you did your best to put on a sad face, jutting your lips out in a disappointed pout and all.
"fushiguro, you're one of the best students in my class- actually, you're the only one who has ever had consistently high scores on my homework and quizzes."
your professor gestures over to you, all while saying your name with a disappointed sigh. "she needs your help. her scores have been embarrassingly low, and i'm afraid if this continues, she will not have a chance to pass this class and may need a retake. so please, when it's still early in the semester, can you help her?"
you take this chance to meet with megumi's gaze, seeing them flash with an unknown emotion for a brief moment before returning back to his blank, emotionless gaze. he places a hand within the pocket of his jeans, looking away from you to see each one of your written quizzes spread out against your professor's desk.
you had to fight back the heat against your cheek when his bored, emerald gaze looked at the 0's written in a deep red ink, the anger and disappointment your teacher felt for you seeming to create a harsh dent, with each bold x seen scattered across the problems on the papers, nearly ripping through each sheet.
"so, as you can see, i don't wish for this student to be a hopeless case. if things go well, the highest grade she can make is a 70. but... i'll allow it if you can help her."
without another word needing to be spoken, megumi gives the professor a stiff nod before collecting your quizzes together in a single, neat stack. he meets with your gaze and says a simple "follow me." before walking out of the classroom.
and despite how you could feel your heart pounding from within your chest, you kept your cool and followed megumi from close behind. you continue to walk in silence for several seconds when he turns around to face you, seeing you standing behind him while letting out a sound of annoyance.
"don't walk behind me like i'm better than you." he gently grabs a hold of your wrist so that you were now walking right next to him. "i hate that shit. we're in the same year, so act like it."
the way your heart suddenly jumped into your throat was enough to make you feel dizzy, and the fact that megumi didn't show any hints of letting you go made it all the more overwhelming for you.
with his hand loosely gripping at your wrist, he leads you to your university's library, the silence was once deafening as you thought that your ears were close to ringing-
but the moment several students laid eyes on megumi holding your hand, you felt all eyes turn on you. their studying all but forgotten as whispers and giggles were heard throughout. seemingly unbothered by the sudden change, he keeps holding on to your wrist before going towards one of the hallways that held several study rooms. the first empty room he finds, he enters it while shutting the door.
in the middle of the room was a large, square table with four seats surrounding it. megumi takes an extra seat and settles it on the same side as him, silently gesturing at you to sit to his left. you nod and heed his words, feeling somewhat shy as you took out a fresh notebook along with some pencils and pens from your backpack.
megumi settles himself beside you and takes out his notebook. as you trail your eyes over those meticulous pages, you saw just how much care and detail he put within them, the black ink seeming to bleed through each page as evidence of his dedication.
he takes one of your quizzes and points to each concept you missed within his notes, and you found yourself following along quite well. you end up completely correcting your errors within 20 minutes, and was simply basking in megumi's presence when a deep chuckle was heard.
"heh, i knew you were suspicious..." megumi had placed his lips against the shell of your ear, tone dripping with an uncharacteristic amusement. the feeling of his hot breath against your ear was enough to make you shiver in response, your wary gaze meeting with his.
"ah... i... don't know what you mean?"
he gives you a scoff, telling you that he didn't believe your bluff for a single minute while shutting his notebook. "you know, professor irie has told me to tutor some of her other students in different classes several times. and i can't tell you how we often spent two hours working on a single problem."
"yet you... you corrected each and every one of your mistakes, redoing all 10 problems and giving me the correct answer within a mere 20 minutes."
you were frozen, eyes going wide, as if you were a deer caught in headlights. a smirk was seen gracing megumi's handsome features when you could feel his large hand against your back, pushing you forward so that you could see your past quizzes. he spreads out each and every one of the pages that averaged a 0, taking his signature black pen as he filled them all in with 100's.
"it takes a different type of genius to purposely choose wrong answers, so tell me... why?"
you begin to blush profusely, unable to meet his gaze as you felt your heart pounding faster with anxiety, nearly coming out of your ribcage. you lost all nerve, unable to even look at him when you shakily manage to tell him.
"i-i think you know why."
"i do, but i'd much rather hear it from you."
you could feel his gentle hands rubbing against your cheek, making you sigh as you relented.
"i-i did it so that i could be closer to you...because i know that you wouldn't notice me otherwise."
"and who says i didn't notice you?"
you gasp upon feeling megumi take a hold of your chin, forcing you to face him as his eyes were shining with a look akin to... adoration for you. he allows the pad of his thumb to trace at your bottom lip before admitting to you, "i've seen the truth of your studious nature and your hard work. and those glances you've been sneaking at me when you thought i wasn't looking... so how could i possibly ignore your presence so easily?"
you watch when he slowly narrows his gaze, suddenly inching himself closer to you as you could taste his breath against your lips, giving you little choice but to cave in to your feelings for him as you met with him halfway.
and as his lips perfectly slot themselves against yours in a perfect kiss, you found yourself sighing, thinking to yourself that failing a few quizzes was completely worth it in the end.
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all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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roosterforme · 6 months
Text
Sloppy Math Homework | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
Summary: Bradley is the first one to admit that he always has been and always will be a sucker for how smart you are. There's something so hot about you in teacher mode, and he loves it when you take charge. But he's in for a surprise when you dole out a new kind of punishment for turning in sloppy work that leaves him fully at your mercy.
Warnings: Swears, fluff, smut, teacher/18+ student roleplay, spanking, paddling, consensual roleplay punishment
Length: 2400 words
Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)
This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time! Banner by @mak-32 Check out my masterlist
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Bradley's heart was pounding when he walked through the front door to find you still dressed in your work clothes even though you got home around lunchtime on Fridays. He had been prepared to start cooking dinner, but the sight of you in your loafers and snug tweed skirt was enough to make his cock twitch.
"Are you ready for class, Mr. Bradshaw?" you asked, hands on your hips and one eyebrow raised. 
He took a deep breath and nodded slowly before he said, "I am so ready for calculus class, Dr. Sugar." Your smirk had his brain working overtime, wondering what exactly you had in mind for him. A blowjob if he aced his exam? Sex on your desk if he could solve the equation tattooed at the top of your ribcage? A handjob that lasted as long as he could accurately recite the decimals in pi?
It didn't matter what it was, he wanted it. He was aching for it. Bradley was a mess for his wife. And when you shook your pretty head at him standing there in his uniform and said, "You're not dressed for class," he could feel his cock pressing the inside of his zipper through his underwear. 
He glanced down at his khaki shirt and pants. "What should I be wearing, Professor?" he asked in a low, deep voice that had you getting a little flustered. He could tell. He knew all of your cues, and right now you were squeezing your thighs together.
You cocked your head slightly to the side and eyed him up and down. "I just don't think that's what a college student would be wearing to his weekly math lecture, Beer Boy."
Ah, okay. So you wanted college Beer Boy right now. Bradley could absolutely deliver on that for you. "Sorry, Professor," he mumbled, looking at the floor and his boots. "You're right. I'm not dressed appropriately for your class."
You nodded and said, "Meet me in my office when you're ready to learn something new." And with that, you spun and disappeared down the hallway leaving Bradley to watch the sway of your ass in all that tight tweed fabric. 
You were sexy academia personified for him, and he loved it so much when you wanted to be in charge. But truly, Bradley felt a little bad for the twenty something year old guys who had to sit through your classes. You just looked that good. You looked good when you were at The University of Virginia as a math major, and somehow you looked even hotter now as a math professor. 
He smirked. He'd enjoyed your body at both of those points in time. And he was the only one who knew exactly where and how much you'd filled out from your twenties to your thirties. "Shit," he grunted, realizing he was wasting time thinking about your tits when he could probably be looking at them. 
Bradley tore into the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt as he went. He was already hard enough that it was challenging to get his uniform pants off, but he managed to leave a pile of khaki clothing on the floor as he rummaged around for his favorite Grateful Dead shirt. It was neatly folded in the dresser with your clothing since you wore it way more frequently than he did. But he pulled it on and found the University of Chicago hat you'd given him and tossed it on backwards. You always liked to run your fingers through his curls that stuck out from beneath his hats, and Bradley was practically panting just thinking about it.
He palmed himself through his boxer shorts as he pushed your office door open a little wider, grinning where you'd written SUGAR LOVES BEER BOY across it. And then he spotted you, sitting on the edge of the desk with your legs crossed. A few more of the buttons on your blouse were open now, and you were gesturing to your desk chair. 
"Have a seat, Mr. Bradshaw." Your voice was soft and sultry, nothing like the tone you used when you gave a lecture to your students. How did he get this fucking lucky? 
"Yes, Dr. Sugar," he replied, and you smirked. He stepped closer to the soft glow coming from his navy desk lamp which lived in this room, and he slipped down into your chair. Bradley desperately wanted to run his hands up your legs and tuck them inside your skirt, but he knew he wouldn't be allowed. So instead, he took the pencil and calculator you handed to him and looked up at your pretty face.
"I want you to work on your math homework sheet," you whispered, flipping over the single sheet of paper in front of him on the desk. Then you leaned down and kissed his temple, brushing your lips along the hair sticking out from under his cap. "Get started."
Bradley groaned softly, unsure how exactly he was going to be able to do this when his cock was aching so much. Plus, you were making no secret of the fact that you were looking at his tented boxers like you wanted to climb in his lap. 
"You're really proud of yourself, aren't you?" he asked, punching some numbers into the calculator to try to solve the first problem. "You got me so hard, I can barely concentrate, and all you did was talk to me and kiss my fucking hair."
You stroked your fingers along the strands of his hair you had kissed and said, "No cursing in my classroom. And no talking at all while you're working."
Bradley grunted as he scribbled down an answer for the first problem that he was actually pretty sure was correct. Visiting your evening lectures had really started to pay off. He'd always been pretty good at math, but now he was proficient in calculus and linear algebra. The only problem was, when most people thought about school, it turned them off. But simply looking at math problems made him harder. There was probably something wrong with him. 
You hummed as he answered the second equation, but when he looked up at your face, you said, "Eyes on your paper, Mr. Bradshaw."
"Yes, Professor," he whispered, and he was rewarded with the sight of you licking your lips. He was aching for a blowjob right now. He might get one if all of his answers were correct. So as quickly as he could, Bradley finished the remaining questions and slid the paper closer to you. "How did I do?"
You sank your teeth into your lip as you looked at him. Then you took the paper in your hands and murmured, "Let's see..."
Every little twitch of your brow and the way your eyes narrowed after a moment were telling enough, but when you met his gaze over the paper, he knew he had missed one. 
"If you just give me another minute, Dr. Sugar-"
"I gave you plenty of time already, Mr. Bradshaw," you said, stroking along his scarred cheek with your nails as you set the paper aside. You wrapped your fingers down along his chin and tipped his face up to meet yours. When you leaned in and kissed his lips sweetly, he was immediately reaching for your body. But then you jerked his chin up another inch and said, "But you missed number five, and I don't accept sloppy math homework."
Bradley groaned as your nails raked down his neck, because this was doing nothing to alleviate his erection. And now he was a little nervous about that problem he missed. "Does this mean you're going to make me take care of this myself?" he whispered, gesturing to his tented boxer shorts. 
The devilish smirk on your face actually thrilled him as you said, "Not exactly." Then you stood and took both of his hands gently in yours and pulled him to his feet. Bradley groaned as his erection trailed up your body until his length was resting against your belly. You pressed one more kiss to his lips and adjusted his backward cap as he throbbed against you. Then you stepped to the side and guided him to place both of his palms on your desk. 
Bradley looked at you and asked, "What's happening here?" Then you walked behind him and pushed the chair toward the center of the room, and Bradley felt your hands reach inside the elastic of his boxer shorts and start to guide them down until they dropped down to his feet. 
"What's happening is your punishment for your sloppy homework. Keep your palms on the desk, Mr. Bradshaw." You ran your hands softly along Bradley's ass, and he didn't move an inch. His cock was painfully hard now and leaping in the air, begging to be touched. 
He turned to his left where you were kissing along his neck now as you squeezed his ass. He moaned, "Baby, I might cum. I'm not even kidding."
You gasped and slapped his ass, and Bradley's jaw dropped open. "Baby? I'm your teacher! Show me some respect."
"P-Professor Sugar," he managed as his skin stung where you hit him. Then to Bradley's surprise, you opened the top drawer of your desk, and sitting right next to your post it notes was his Beta Gamma fraternity paddle. It was made of solid oak and painted in a psychedelic tie dye pattern that he always thought looked really cool. But the last time he saw the thing, it was on top of the bedroom closet. And as you wrapped your fingers around the handle, it dawned on Bradley why it was here and why he was standing like this.
His eyes snapped up to meet yours, and the look of mischief was gone as you squeezed his bicep and kissed the edge of his mustache. "I thought it might be fun to spank you, Beer Boy. But if you say no, then I'll put it away, and we can find something else fun to do."
Bradley eyed the paddle, and his mind was flooded with memories of his fraternity days. Not all of them were good, but he'd met you at his frat house. And you were the best thing in his life. And for some reason, the idea of that tie dye paddle hitting his bare skin was actually appealing to him. This was not something he had ever thought about before, but in the hands of his wife, he wanted it.
"Yes," he replied, kissing your lips as you started to smile. "I want you to, Professor Sugar."
You nodded and whispered, "If you don't like it, just tell me." Then you squared your shoulders and said in a louder voice, "I can't go easy on you, because you'll keep pulling this stunt over and over with me."
"I understand," he replied, letting you bend him a little more at the waist as you strolled around to stand behind him. And then he yelped as the paddle made solid contact with his right ass cheek. "Oh, fuck." But no sooner had he muttered those words than the paddle hit him in the same spot again. The stinging was intense as you apparently wound up to send the paddle to the same place a third time. "Baby," he whined, because if anything, he was more turned on than before.
Your only response was to switch to his other side and bring the paddle to an untouched patch of skin. Over and over until it was burning so much that Bradley was recoiling from the sound and feel of it. But his hips were thrusting forward now, and he was practically begging for relief from your mouth or your pussy. But he kept his palms planted on the top of the desk. And the pleasure and stinging pain mingled in his mind so much that he found himself whining your name. 
A moment later, you set the paddle on the desk next to his left hand, and Bradley looked up into your lust filled eyes. "Sugar?" he gasped, and you were prying his hands from the desk and pulling him close. Your lips came crashing into his as you grabbed at his shirt. He was rutting into you now, afraid he'd cum on your tweed but unwilling to try to hold himself back. 
"Bradley, that was so fucking hot," you moaned, turning him around and pushing him down to sit on the desk. It felt delightfully cold on his raw skin, but he winced at the same time. It was almost too much to handle. But then you were yanking your skirt up to reveal you were bare underneath, and you scrambled up onto his lap. 
"Easy," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. But then your perfectly tight warmth came sinking down around his cock, and he knew he was going to last about ten seconds in this state. He shook his head and whispered, "I'm gonna cum."
You held his face gently in both hands and kissed his forehead as you told him, "You earned it." And all the while you bounced up and down on him, bottoming out and whining softly.
So Bradley took your perfect ass in both of his palms and guided you just how he wanted you, and then he filled you up with his cum. You were peppering his cheeks with kisses as he sat there with his lips parted, trying to catch his breath. 
"You just spanked me with my Beta Gamma paddle. For my sloppy math homework," he marveled out loud, still nestled inside you. "When I'm not even your student."
You let your cheek come to rest on his shoulder and said, "You're my best student." Then your fingers were teasing at his curls sticking out from under his hat. "And if you enjoyed it, we can do it again."
Bradley groaned and said, "My ass needs a couple days off after that." Then he smirked as he reached for the paddle and rubbed it gently across your bare bottom. Your eyes went wide as your head came off his shoulder. "Yours on the other hand..."
--------------------------
Oh look, a new kink unlocked for Beer Boy and Sugar. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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angelkissiies · 1 year
Text
brute
abby anderson x reader
cw : hockey!abby , cheerleader!reader , modern!au , m*n , bigotry , usage of slurs ( fag ) , incel , alluded frat tactics ( roof*es ) , violence .
wc : 2.4K
a / n : if you see any grammatical issues , SQUINT , ive never proofread a single thing in my entire life
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You shuffled into your seat, letting your bag drop onto the floor next to your feet. It was pretty quiet in the rink, the soft sound of chattering coming from the locker rooms as you settled in– fishing around in your stuff for your laptop. It was a slow day for you, only a couple classes worth of homework to complete, so you’d decided to tag along with Abby to practice for a show while you fought your calculus assignments. Since it was the start of the season, new kids had been brought onto the team which made a ton of sense as a gaggle of 19 year olds raced down the aisles toward the ice– just barely missing your water bottle. “Jeez.” You huffed, pulling your stuff further from the walkway, not willing to risk the ridiculously expensive tumbler Abby had gotten you. 
It wasn’t unusual for you to accompany her, seeing as the rink was like a second home to you, the team not minding for the most part– Abby had joked before that the judgment of a pretty girl whipped them more into shape, their plays being better when you were around compared to when you werent. 
Abby was beyond annoyed already, following behind the newbies with a scowl. This was the worst part of a new season, given that these kids didn’t know the ways of the team, not that she fully blamed them. She just hated the prospect of dealing with multiple egotistical freshmen in such a small place, their voices managing to carry throughout the entire rink. She held her skates close to her side, nudging the rink door open with the tip of her toes, settling onto one of the benches to finish gearing up for practice. Her nerves were already shot, having the captain of the men's team call up to the rink saying that he’d managed to get sick– meaning she’d be taking on both teams for drills. She’d debated calling the whole thing off, not wanting a repeat of the fiasco last year. 
“You gonna make it?” A voice called from behind her, making her crane her neck as she shoved her feet into the skates, the owner of said voice making her roll her eyes. Nora and Mel were walking together just a ways behind her, sliding into the box before the door shut, their helmets and skates hitting the floor as they sat on either side of the girl. “How much do you wanna bet she bites one of their heads off before practice ends?” The two girls had a habit of betting on her downfall and whilst she knew it was all in good fun, seeing as they held some responsibility as co-captains, it still made her heart jump. 
The blonde clicked her tongue against her teeth, shaking her head. “Don’t start this again.”
Mel laughed, glancing down to mess with the strap on her gloves. “I got fifty on it being that guy,” She began, using her head to nod towards a dark haired guy on the ice. He was laughing loud enough to fill the entire rink, the sound piercing her ears as she shook her head slightly. “That might end up being me though, super annoying.” 
Abby chuckled, easing the helmet over her braid, making sure to tuck the end into the back of her jersey. “He is really annoying, I think that’s the same guy that transferred from UW.” She added, “I heard he made a big deal out of practicing co-ed.” She slid her gloves over her chilly fingers, eying the boy for a second before bringing her gaze up to the benches around the rink– like she always did, searching for you. It didn’t take long, seeing as you always sat in the same place, her heart squeezing slightly at the sight. You were cross-legged on the bench, her massive varsity jacket swallowing you whole as you tapped away on your computer– a frown etched into your sweet face. She knew how much you hated math, so it didn’t take her long to figure out what you were doing, a smile tugging at her lips as she tore her eyes from you. 
“Let's hope he behaves, hm?” Nora sighed, pulling open the second door to step out onto the ice– holding it open for the other two. “If not, god, I don’t even wanna know.” 
The girl nodded, standing up as she double checked her mouth guard. It was especially cold, as she made her way onto the ice, a chill biting at her exposed cheeks. Her time away from the sport had reflected on her temperature gauge more than anything, making her shudder slightly. “Is everyone here?” She spoke up, coming to a stop in the middle of the rink, tapping her skate slightly on the ice. It was a habit she’d managed to pick up from you, seeing as you prefaced all of your jumps with the tinestest of taps, she carried it like a piece of you on every rink she played on. 
One of the boys shrugged, looking to the group behind him before nodding out of the rink, trading her attention for another. Their conversations were low and muffled, only a stray chortle echoing as they found a way to quiet down. She was equally grateful and annoyed. 
Abby brushed it off, doing a quick headcount as she tried to figure out how many they’d be down, her patience wearing even thinner as she tried to focus over the bickering from the group in front of her. They had a nasty habit of not coexisting on the best terms, their compliance contractual. She dropped her attention from the teams as she saw Nora waving from the side, her feet propelling her forward to meet the girl in the middle– fingers still toying with the thick mouthguard in her hand. “What’s up?” It was unlike Nora to look so nervous, setting her brow into a downturn as she bent slightly to level with the girl. “Nora, what is it?”
“We might have a problem, I'm not sure, but it definitely sounds like a problem.” 
You groaned as you snapped the computer shut, moving your now free hand to rub your temple, there was nothing less enthusing than math. The worksheets you’d been assigned were incomplete, and you only figured that out once you were pretty much done, so all of your work was for nothing– seeing as when you checked your email an entirely new set had been assigned. It was enough to make you want to drop out, the prospect of doing anymore work sending a pang into your head. You shoved the laptop back into its sleeve before tucking it back into your bag, leaning back to rest against the row of seats just above you. You pulled your wrist up to hover above you, eyes locking onto the time. You made a small noise of confusion, sitting up on your elbows to look into the rink– they all were just standing around, Abby and Nora tucked away near the middle with their backs turned to you. They should’ve already started by now. 
“Weird.” You muttered, to no one but yourself, as you picked yourself up off of the bench. You grabbed your phone from your stuff and tucked it into your oversized pocket, stepping down the rows until you were right in front of the plexi-glass– breath creating a thick haze on the chilled material. You settled into one of the rink-side seats, just simply glazing over the players before your attention was caught by a couple freshmen. They were standing just outside of a group, their conversation too far for you to hear, but their stares were hard to miss. It made your stomach churn, prompting you to sink lower into your seat as you pulled your phone out to distract yourself. You weren’t not used to men staring, it was just something that came with being a girl, though you could seem to shake the feeling of dread that had lit in your stomach as you scrolled mindlessly through your feed.
Abby’s heart was pounding in her chest, mouth set into a harsh line as she followed Nora’s hushed whispers. Internally, there were alot of things she’d considered doing. Externally, she kept her feet steady on the ice. She had to give him a chance, right? There was some underlying theme of second chances at play, there had to be– but from the grim expression on Nora’s face, she doubted it. The blood had begun to rush to her head, a loud beating in her ears pulling her from the conversation at hand, hand coming up to stop the girl in front of her. “Let me handle this–,” She began, being cut off promptly. 
“You can’t hit him, Abby.” The girl sighed, crossing her arms over her stomach as she glanced warily between the boy and Abby. “He’s just a freshman, just go– I dunno, knock him down a peg.” 
She nodded, pulling her helmet off and handing it over to Nora. “I won’t hit him, promise.” She toyed with the straps on her gloves for a moment before, also, pulling them off and tucking them into her now empty helmet. While, yes, she had no real plans to hit him– she wasn’t ruling it out. Her feet dug into the ice, pushing off into his direction, a thousand different approaches coming to mind. She couldn’t deny the anger she felt, some of the comments Nora repeated making her nauseous, though in some fucked way– that’s just the way the wold had come to be. Boys said things about you more often than not, they always had innocent intent though– something these seemed to be lacking in their grotesque banter. Abby wasn’t one to let things like this slide, everyone knew that. 
Everyone but them, as they missed her overwhelming presence behind them– still snickering behind locked arms. “The things I'd do to get her, I mean come on! Look at her.” The blonde spoke, nudging the brunette with his elbow. 
“I know, I know. Imagine finding her at a frat party, I’d like to get her a drink– if you catch my drift.” 
Abby’s jaw tensed, a heavy hand coming to lock onto the boy's shoulder. With ease, she spun him around on his skates, his lanky frame wobbling from the sudden change in motion. “Don’t speak. I don’t care what you’re getting at or what your excuse is. That girl you’re talking about isn’t available, nor would she be interested, not that it seems you’d care. Keep your rapist comments to yourself or find the door.” Her voice was low, fingers now digging into the clothed flesh of his shoulder, face a couple shades paler from the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She wanted to hit him, god so bad, but she resisted– her resolve holding for the moment being. There was nothing she hated more than the audacity of men, her spine straightening as she stood to her full height– peering down at him, hoping that he would catch her drift and fuck off. 
The brunette snorted, shrugging her hold off with a cocky smile, other boy suddenly uninterested in ‘locker room’ talk. He shook his head, throwing up his hands in a mock gesture. “You feminists and calling all men ‘rapists’, you’re the real problem with society.” He jeered, looking around as if someone else would agree with him. “That girl isn’t even your problem, so why do you care?” 
An incredulous smile graced her lips as she let her arms come to rest intertwined against her tense stomach, nodding slowly. “‘That girl’ as you call her, is my business. You see that jacket she’s wearing?” She asked, taking a tiny step forward. “It’s mine. She’s mine.” It was clear, to anyone who had begun to tune into the conversation, that the last piece of self-control she had was breaking. She was pretty good about keeping her cool, usually, seeing as she wasn’t banned from the rink yet– but the look on his face made her rage double, making violence seem like the better option than just letting him go with a warning. 
“Oh, I get it. You’re a fag–,” 
You’d come out of your seat, phone angled towards the rink with the intention to snap a couple of pictures of Abby. It was something you’d taken to doing during games, a folder now dedicated in your phone to the candids. You clicked the button to snap the picture, instead hovering too long and starting up a video, making you groan slightly before peering into the screen for a moment– seeing the moment Abby’s fist collided with the boy's nose, a sickening crack filling the rink. ”Oh my god.” You breathed, glancing around to the observing parties– seeing them do next to nothing to stop the brawl. 
The boy managed to hit her once before becoming subdued by the girl, subdued meaning crumpled onto the ice in the fetal position, his hands now clasping the crooked bone protruding from the flesh. His friends had knelt down around him, hands poking around at his face in attempts to help. “You fucking bitch!” He groaned, blood leaking down his hands and seeping into the fabric of his uniform. 
“Yeah, I’m the bitch.” Abby sneered, tongue gliding over her teeth before she spat a mouth full of blood onto the ice beside him. “You’re off the team. Don’t bother coming back.” She hummed, turning on her heel to glide towards the door closest to her– your petrified face coming into view as she did so. “Practice is canceled. Go home.” She said finally, pulling the door open. 
You stared up at her, mouth opening and closing for a second before you settled on a question. “What happened?” 
The blonde glanced back behind her, the eyes of the team lingering on her, before she dipped down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The contrast between her bloody lips and the soft cushion of her hand coming to rest on the back of your head was dizzying– but you didn’t complain, the metallic taste seeping into your mouth as you chased her lips. When she finally managed to pull away, there was a smear of blood on the flesh of your bottom lip– making her chuckle.
 “Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.” 
985 notes · View notes
danaewrites · 4 months
Text
you with the dark curls (you with the watercolor eyes)
part ii: i wanna hear you speak to me
james potter x reader // read it on AO3
word count: 3.6k
summary: “Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.”
tags: best friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, based on the song "dear arkansas daughter" by lady lamb, fem!reader
author's notes: new year, new chapter! i started writing this one back in SEPTEMBER and finally had enough time away from the terrors of calculus homework to finish it. thanks for reading my story so far and i hope you enjoy this incredibly self-indulgent chapter, because i had way too much fun writing it!! i promise that the angst in this chapter *will* be resolved, but it was too deliciously tempting to resist sprinkling a wee bit of hurt/comfort and dramatics in there as well. sorry not sorry!
read it all here: part i, part ii, part iii (coming soon!)
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“I’ve got no bloody clue how Dumbledore can be so energetic all the time,” you groaned, head in your hands as you peeked out at the headmaster’s more-than-slightly manic grin from your seat at the Gryffindor breakfast table. You were far too sleep-deprived to process his latest choice of garish attire: a bright chartreuse robe covered in plaid polka dots, topped off with what appeared to be rhinestones and tinsel attached to his beard.
Perhaps if Kettleburn hadn’t assigned you three feet of parchment on the seventeen glorious properties of dragon dung yesterday and expected it done by this afternoon, you might have appreciated the headmaster’s creative fashion choices– oh, who were you kidding. There really was no understanding that wizard, even properly rested. James and Peter had made a bet during fifth year on how long it’d take Dumbledore to crack under a constant deluge of pranks in his office, but they’d quickly realized that the man was too far gone to do anything but take inspiration for school events– an idea that was quite frankly, comically frightening, and the sort of thing you weren’t keen on pondering on a normal Tuesday morning.
Sirius wrinkled his nose sympathetically and slid the pile of raspberry jam tarts closer to you. “Late night in the library again?”
You nodded sheepishly, gratefully taking a pastry from the pile. “I honestly don’t know why Pince allows me to stay past curfew. Marauder’s luck, I guess?” Your attention was diverted by the sound of hoots and flapping wings as the morning owl brigade arrived, apparently choosing a kamikaze dive-bomb approach to deliver this morning’s newspapers. Ah, the joys of living at the world’s most advanced magical school.
Sirius, ever the epitome of grace, slipped under the table as a rogue owl zipped past, popping himself back up just enough to throw you finger guns. “Exactly right, doll, exactly right,” he grinned. “Trust me, Marauder’s luck gets you everywhere. And I mean everywhere,” he winked, sending you a lecherous smirk.
“Ew, Sirius, I don’t even want to know,” you sniffed. “I’ve learned my lesson after the mental trauma your tales of Dorcas’ birthday adventures inflicted upon my psyche. Please, spare me the details.”
“What? All I meant was Slughorn’s Christmas Party, of course!” He batted his eyelashes angelically, still partially covered by the tablecloth.
Your mouth gaped open in shock. “Last year’s Christmas party? Sirius Orion Black, I refuse to hear another word! What on earth would your ancestors think, with you bragging about such exploits-”
He leaned over, eyes wide with laughter. “No, I meant the one Slughorn is throwing on the 21st, it’s exclusively for us lucky seventh years this time. Although, you bring up some very fond memories… okay, okay, I’ll stop, don’t kick me–”
“What are we kicking Sirius for?” James slid onto the bench across from you, eyeing a groveling Sirius with interest. Peter joined him, but wisely chose to stay away from the ruckus, piling his plate high with the bacon the owls had spared. Remus was noticeably absent, spending the morning resting in the infirmary after a rough night of shifting– which you assumed was much more peaceful than the current chaos at the Gryffindor breakfast table.
“Oh! Good morning, Jamie,” you beamed up at him, passing him the plate of desserts you’d been protecting from Sirius’ nefarious advances. “Morning, dove,” he greeted you, and then paused. “Ha, get it? Morning dove?” He puffed up his chest smugly and nudged Sirius with his elbow in a futile effort to make him laugh. You huffed fondly at his antics. Boys.
Sirius rolled his eyes and took advantage of your momentary distraction, retreating back onto his seat to nurse his wounds– to your ever-growing delight (and Sirius’ woe), you had recently discovered that the Hogwarts girls’ uniform shoes were quite sharp. “At this point we should call you Lames. ‘Cause your puns are lame,” he muttered.
You shooed him away with a brush of your hand, remembering what Sirius had mentioned earlier. “According to Sirius, Slughorn’s hosting a Christmas Party again this year. Let’s pray it won’t be like the last one.” You muttered. James and Peter both looked vaguely ill at the prospect, shuddering in unison. “My tie will never look the same again,” Peter griped, but suddenly sat up straight in his seat. “Hey, wait, we’re finally old enough to bring dates to this one! Without sneaking them in, I mean.” 
Sirius snickered and lightly punched his shoulder. “Why, Petey, got some lucky girl in mind?” Peter reddened and glanced over at the Hufflepuff table, where a certain freckled blonde was chatting with her friends– a move that didn’t go unnoticed by James, who gave a delighted wolf-whistle. “You got a thing for Lucy Abbott, huh? Might want to make a move before Smith does,” he grinned, gesturing to the tall brunette boy who’d just arrived and sharing a knowing smirk with you. You giggled at Peter’s increasingly pouty expression; he’d figure out sooner or later that Smith was definitely not interested in Abbott– or witches in general– but it was entertaining to see him out of his comfort zone. Peter had always been the quietest of your little group, and you privately thought that a bit of momentary romantic angst might spur him to be more assertive. An ironic opinion, considering how your own love life revolved around the fact that your best friend had feelings for someone else… and you couldn’t do anything about it except mope.
Peter scowled. “Easy for you to say, Prongs, you’ve finally got precious Lily-flower wrapped around your finger. I bet you’ve already asked her!”
There it was: another reminder that James wasn’t yours, and never would be. You watched as the Gryffindor boys good-naturedly jostled his shoulder and tousled his curls. James grinned sheepishly, shrugging off their teasing. “Not yet,” he admitted, glancing hopefully at the end of the table, where Lily was chatting with her friends. 
Peter rolled his eyes. “Aw, come on, we all know she’ll say yes this year.” Sirius winced, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. Peter glanced at Sirius, drawn by the movement. “What’ve you got to worry about? Half the population would kill Dumbledore to get one dance with you. The only person who’s got to worry about a date is me– well, and maybe Y/n, I guess.” His face suddenly turned contemplative, looking you up and down. “Are you going with someone?” 
Sirius’ grimace became doubly pronounced at Peter’s tactlessness, and you felt your face heating up. Peter had a way of accidentally hitting on the issues others tried to hide. It wasn’t his fault he’d never heard about your trips to Hogsmeade with a paramour– in fact, none of the boys had. Because there hadn’t been any. You’d spent your entire time at Hogwarts pining after James, and as a result had missed the romantic milestones your classmates had already blissfully bragged about. 
Peter looked at you expectantly, waiting for a response, and you opened your mouth to confess your lack of experience when you spotted a familiar redhead walking gracefully towards your side of the table– to James, you realized with a start. Something within you ignited as you watched her glow with confidence, carefree and lovely as ever. Lily would never pine after someone uselessly; she knew she could get anyone she wanted with the right amount of banter and flirty gestures. You... Well, you weren’t there quite yet, but maybe it was time to take inspiration from the Muggle saying and ‘fake it til you make it’. And before you could think about what you were about to do, you turned to Peter and smiled coyly. “I might.”
James’ and Sirius’ heads snapped up immediately from their perusal of the breakfast lineup as they let out an identical murmur of surprise. “What?” James furrowed his brow, looking you up and down– seemingly trying to discern whether you had taken a holiday from your senses, most likely via Bludger-induced concussion at the last Quidditch match. Sirius merely raised a questioning eyebrow at you. You groaned internally, knowing that you’d have to explain yourself later… although, if your half-baked idea worked, you’d be spending a lot more time with him anyway. For now, you beamed innocently at both of them and took a sip of your pumpkin juice. Apparently, the Sorting Hat had placed you in Gryffindor for a reason- you were either incredibly brave or incredibly foolish to commit to this plan, but with Evans quickly approaching, you saw no other choice.
Peter looked momentarily shocked, then glumly began to assemble an egg and bacon sandwich seasoned with the occasional mutterance of “unfair” and “perpetually single, my arse”.
James’ eyes were still trained on you. “Who is it?” he asked, searching your face again as if he was looking for some indication that you were joking. You shrugged, trying to look casual. “I guess you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?”
“Dove-” he began, but Lily finally reached his seat and placed one stupidly perfect hand on his shoulder, diverting his attention momentarily. “Sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but Professor McGonagall asked me to bring you to her office for Quidditch scheduling.” James blinked, glancing up at her and then at the rest of the table. He stood up and focused on you again, expression clouded. “I’ll see you in Potions, yeah?”
Sirius stood up quickly, ushering him out of his seat with a speed you’d only seen him use to gulp down cheap Firewhiskey. He gave you a significant look. “Actually, Y/n and I were just about to take a walk, isn’t that right? So we'll both see you in Potions, what a sublime coincidence, now don’t be late for your meeting–” he chattered on as he shoved James toward the doors of the Great Hall, the latter eyeing him suspiciously but moving nonetheless. Sirius turned to you and pointed to the courtyard entryway. “You. Me. Talk, as in right now.”
Once you were sure that you’d made it out of earshot of Peter and the rest of the Gryffindor table, you wheeled around to face him. “Okay. First of all… I didn’t plan that.” Sirius raised an eyebrow again. “Second of all, I need a favour,” you pleaded, staring up at him with the most adorable doe eyes you could physically summon. They were usually most effective on James, for some reason, but you were sure that Sirius wasn’t immune to your manipulation either. He groaned, resting his face in his hands. “How do you even have a date? Last time I checked, also known as yesterday, you were still head over heels for Prongsie, doll. So do I need to check you for Amortentia or somethi–” He peered out from between his fingers with annoyed realization. “You don’t have a date, do you.” 
You blinked innocently up at him. He let out a long-suffering sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “This is what you need the favour for? You want me to go with you to Slughorn’s party so you can pretend in front of the rest of Hogwarts that you’re not madly in love with Jamie?” 
You grinned confidently up at him and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Aw, Siri, you know me so well. It’s almost as if you were maaaade to be my date for the party...” You fluttered your eyelashes up at him one more time for good measure, trying to hide a smirk. “Alright, alright, stop with the Bambi act, I’ll take you.” He scowled good-naturedly. “You know, this is going to ruin my dating pool for the next month.” 
You scoffed. “As if! If anything, you’ll just have more people fawning over you– temptation of the forbidden apple and all, you know.” 
Sirius brightened up considerably at this revelation. “Well, why didn’t you say so in the beginning, doll! I vote that we match in purple velvet, it does wonders for my complexion–”
You gave a very unladylike snort at the thought of you and Sirius swanning into the party in some sort of horrendous plum-coloured disco getup, and shooed him away towards the Potions classroom. That was an eyesore to imagine sometime when you weren’t about to get a headache from the dim dungeon lighting.
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Slughorn greeted you and Sirius by directing you to the front of the classroom with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Oho, a pair of latecomers, I see!” He winked at you and Sirius in exaggerated motion. You winced as Snape jeered and nudged Malfoy, who was busy enjoying Flint’s crude gestures at you. Ugh, Slytherin boys. The worst of the lot. Their snickers were quickly stopped by James chucking a handful of powdered wormwood at their heads when Slughorn turned away, making Malfoy’s prized hair appear covered in soot. You shot him a grateful smile. 
“Since you two missed my initial remarks, let’s see if you can make it up by identifying today’s potion, hmm?” Slughorn gestured dramatically to a shimmering green brew in a cauldron next to his desk, cherry-coloured smoke curling off of the top invitingly. 
Sirius shot you a panicked look, clearly not expecting to be put in the academic spotlight, but you shook your head and stepped closer. You smelled something rich and incense-like, which meant that Bumburrel leaves were a key ingredient. And combined with the way the smoke was drifting lazily around your wrists, curling higher and higher… “Brew of Mandelian, sir. Used for sharpened acuity under times of pressure.”
Slughorn gave a delighted chuckle and clapped his hands. “Well then! Ten points to Gryffindor for paying attention in lectures!” He dismissed you and Sirius with a wave, moving on to explain the finer points of ingredient preparation to a very bemused George Goyle as you slipped into your usual seat beside James.
You worked in quiet harmony for a moment, methodically slicing and crushing the slippery beetles needed to give the brew its signature green colour while James handed you the insects. He broke the silence after six beetles (not that you had been counting or anything) with an awkward, “So… you have a, erm, date?”
You huffed, motioning for him to hand you the foul-smelling Moorish tubers next. “Honestly, James, is it that surprising?” He scratched the back of his neck, frowning. “Well, I– yeah, I guess.” he trailed off, seeing your expression. 
“The tubers, Jamie, thank you. I mean, you looked at me like I was a ghost back in the Great Hall!” You were decidedly not making eye contact with him, trying your best to focus on the slimy plants in front of you and not the fact that your best friend-slash-unrequited crush doubted your romantic potential. What a way to be humbled– and while covered in tuber juice, no less!
He huffed, running a hand through his already messy curls. “Come on, Y/n, it’s not like that. What did Sirius want to talk about in the Great Hall, anyway? You two looked… chummy.” 
You glared down at the copper slicing board. “Well, it’s none of your business how chummy we are, is it? I don’t interrogate you every time you converse with Peter. In fact, it’s rather expected that Sirius and I speak to one another on occasion, considering the amount of time we all spend together thanks to you.”
You moved to grab another tuber from the jar, but James reached out and grabbed your hand, forcing you to look at him. His hazel eyes were alight with frustration, a look you knew by heart thanks to the hours you’d spent tutoring him in History of Magic after he napped his way through the entire first semester. “Are you serious? You’re actually going with someone?”
“Please, Jamie, do enlighten me on whyever you think I couldn’t possibly get a date with my numerous and diverse charms,” you sniffed, hoping to Merlin that he would just leave the entire subject alone. 
“No, it’s–” he groaned, leaning back in his seat. “The other boys, they don’t know how– you’re so, I mean, just look at you!” he exclaimed, gesturing at you. He stopped, frowning to himself, looking more confused than before. He glanced over at Lily, expression becoming even more muddled, brow furrowed and hard to read to anyone but you. 
Your mouth parted in shock, and to your dismay you felt tears bubbling up again. You blinked fiercely, refusing to let him see you cry. James thought the issue was… your looks? You suddenly wanted to crawl under Slughorn’s desk and never come out again, except perhaps to find a shovel to dig your grave with. This was far, far worse than watching him transfigure chocolates for Lily every Valentine’s Day. Now you knew for a fact he didn’t find you attractive– thought other boys didn’t either, even! And the way he’d clearly mentally compared you to Lily after what he’d admitted… well. There was no recovering from that. Teenage boys could be dense, but Merlin, how you had wanted him to at least let you down gently. 
You wished you’d never opened your mouth to lie about having a stupid date in the first place, but you forced yourself to laugh and mutter something trite about how that could all be fixed with a couple glamour charms anyway so it really wasn’t an issue for the party, thank you very much. He looked even more confused, opening his mouth to respond, but Snape chose that moment to interrupt.
“Hey, Potter!” James turned to scowl at the greasy Slytherin as you thanked your lucky stars for Snape’s interruption (a rather disturbing thought– potentially a harbinger of an imminent apocalypse. You’d never thanked Snape before in your life and hoped to never do it again). “Here’s payback for earlier,” he smirked, checking that Slughorn had dozed off and the other students weren’t paying attention before whipping a mottled yellow bottle at James.
James’ carefully honed Quidditch reflexes kicked in and he quickly dodged the object, but as the vial soared up, up, past your carefully diced tubers, over James’ messy notes, it hit your arms and shattered. You flinched in pain, crying out as the glass shards embedded themselves in your arm and the congealing, repulsive liquid dripped down your hands and onto your thighs. James lunged towards you, but it was too late– the potion had already seeped into your skin, causing an awful sparking sensation. 
You gasped, grabbing onto the desk as the feeling bubbled upwards. “Jamie, I don’t– I don’t feel–” you stuttered, suddenly lightheaded, and you heard someone gasp as you began to taste something metallic. You absently touched your nose. Why was it so cold and wet? You had been so careful not to touch your face around those horrid tubers and oh, oh Merlin and Morgana what was that pain in your hands and legs, please no make it go away someone help me help me HELP
You vaguely registered someone whimpering in the background. It might have been you, but you weren’t entirely sure what was happening outside of the electric symphony of agony crescending in your nervous system. The pain built swirled flooded through until you weren’t sure where you ended and the potion began which was a funny thought because of course you were you, but you couldn’t remember who you were before this so you laughed but that really hurt, oh how that hurt no no no no no bad idea–  
“Fuck– no–” James? Was he here too?
You blinked– when did your eyes open?– and saw him reach for you, frantically pushing his dark curls off his forehead. Why would he do that? You loved his hair, even when you were feeling funny awful things from the potion. You felt his arms scoop under you, lifting you off your seat as he caught your head from falling back. You heard a door slam open, footsteps, darkness clouding your vision–
His voice. “Sweetheart, no– don’t do that, I need you to keep your eyes open.”
You blinked again, trying to focus on James’ face. He looked pale, jaw set and tensed like it was before his Quidditch games. Were you moving? You couldn’t tell whether James was walking or the hallways were walking around you. He glanced down again, exhaling with relief once he saw whatever he was looking for. “Yeah, just like that. Keep those pretty eyes focused on me, okay?” 
He thought your eyes were pretty? 
James gave a tight laugh. “Yeah, I think your eyes are pretty, dove. Hold on a bit longer, we’re almost there,” he choked out. 
Oh. Had you said that out loud?
But you thought– he had said something, before, you couldn’t remember now but it was important and it hurt–
Some part of you, deep where the potion hadn’t reached, had melted at his words. That part was tinged with pain, too, but in a different way, raw and honest and hopeful and all for him. Or maybe that was the potion, you were pretty sure witches weren’t supposed to melt unless they were green and lived somewhere much further west, but your thoughts on the whole process evaporated as you reached a white door and a woman and your words started to swirl until they melted too and everything went black.
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markiemelon · 2 months
Note
hiiiii~~ can i request a scenario where nerd!mark and athlete!reader are on a study date and mark finds reader so cute when they don't understand the material? also bonus points if the reader is shy and doesn't want to ask for help cus they're embarrassed
Thank you!! ur writings make me so happy
focus
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genre fluff ﹋֪֢ ♡︩ · no warnings!
pairings nerd!mark x athlete!reader
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4:18pm — ♡
“yn,” your math teacher addressed you, “im worried that your training is interfering with your studies.”
that wasn’t the first time you’d heard that, and yet, you still couldn’t think of a good excuse to tell. “look, yn, i’ve made it easier for you by arranging some study sessions with a classmate of yours.”
you actually felt kinda relieved to hear that. surely, some extra studying couldn’t hurt.
“in fact,” he continued, “he’s right here.” he gestured to a familiar boy walking into the room.
it was mark. you knew mark, but you never crossed paths much, considering how different your priorities were…you were all about training, and mark was all about studying…
“so i have to spend the rest of my afternoon with this nerd?” you accidentally said aloud.
“now, yn, we still have to be professional during after-school hours.” your teacher demanded.
mark just chuckled and smiled at you. his round glasses and ruffled hair added a gentlemanly charm to him that made you swoon a little.
“i’ll be off now, but feel free to stay in the classroom.” your teacher said, shuffling together some lose papers. “mark, just lock up the door as usual, i trust you as our class president.”
you widened your eyes. “he’s class president?”
“you didn’t know?” mark raised an eyebrow.
“i—uhh”
“i’ll leave you guys to it then.” your teacher nodded before he exited the room.
you approached mark. “if it makes you feel any better, i didn’t even know our vice principal until last week… so um, don’t take it personally.”
with that pathetic attempt at explaining yourself, mark sensed you were nervous. he walked up to you, his arms crossed and head nodding ever so slightly. “alright.” he said with a grin. “i won’t.” he looked at you for a second longer before pulling a chair out from the desk. he insisted that you sit, and he sat beside you.
and so the studying began… you handed mark a crumpled up page from the deepest, darkest depths of your backpack, and he looked confused “do you… want me to throw this away for you?”
“no!” you snatched it back. “that’s my calculus homework!”
“oh shoot!” he couldn’t hold in his cackle. “I’m sorry— yn im sorry.” he said it with the biggest smile on his face, weak from the laughter.
“whatever. just tell me how to solve this. or save us both some time and just tell me the answers.” you slumped in your chair.
he scanned the page briefly. “yeah, so it’s simple, really..” mark inched the graph paper closer to your side of the table.
he pointed at some numbers and rambled, of course, you couldn’t keep up. so you did the next best thing, which was letting your mind drift off to somewhere else..
“actually, he’s kinda cute..” you admitted to yourself while observing his side profile.
focus.
“it must be the glasses. he looks good with glasses.” now you were noticing things you hadn’t payed any attention to before.
focus.
“why is he so close to me…” your heart skipped a beat at the realization.
suddenly, mark’s voice became clear at the mention of your name.
“yn… focus” he cooed, not even looking up from the paper. he must have felt you staring, but oddly, you didn’t look away from him.
mark stopped his writing, but he kept his pen to the paper, holding it still as he turned to face you.
almost immediately, your confident demeanor crumbled, and now, head lowered, you depended on mark’s answer to break the silence.
“solve this one. it’s what i just showed you.” he rolled his pen to you.
“oh. okay.” you hesitantly took hold of the pencil, and did your best to pretend like you understood, but mark obviously wasn’t buying it. after writing some gibberish, you gave up.
“um, mark?”
“yeah?”
“im a little embarrassed to ask… but.. can you explain it again?”
he didn’t look surprised. he looked at you endearingly. “as expected..” he chuckled, weighing his head side to side to stretch out his neck. his gaze shifted to the clock on the wall behind you. “you know, we should probably head out now.”
“already?” you looked back to see the time for yourself. he didn’t say anything for a second, he just nodded and flashed a gentle smile. “you get too distracted.” he nudged your shoulder. your cheeks burned a little when he did that. “well you’re too distracting.” you nudged him back.
mark grabbed his shoulder where you touched as if he were injured by your strength. “i’m so distracting yet you couldn’t focus on a single thing i said?” he teased you. you didn’t have a witty comeback, so you just stayed silent and stuffed some things wherever they could fit in your bag.
at that point, it was clear to both of you that the next few study sessions you had lined up, would be far more exciting…
a couple weeks of studying with mark went by, and the flirting made its way into your classes. he was getting bolder in his advances. it started with some subtle compliments but now he’s been giving you these corny winks from a across the room, and he makes it really obvious what he’s doing.
once mark started sitting next to you, hell broke loose. one time, the teacher asked the class to solve something, and you miraculously managed to figure it out before mark did. it still backfired tremendously…
“oh my gosh, i got it!” you whispered to mark. “it’s 29!”
he smiled at you for a second, before raising his hand, while simultaneously blurting out, “29! it’s 29!”
your teacher looked pleased. “that was quick, mark. as always, you never disappoint me with your calculating abilities.”
mark threw is head back laughing as quietly as he could, and you kicked his leg underneath the table.. as hard as you could.
later, you would find yourself sitting with mark, side by side, staring down at your math textbook.
“okay, tell me the answer to number 4.”
you didn’t even try to hide the fact that you had no idea what was going on. “i don’t know it.”
mark paused and laughed out of disbelief. “yn, it’s a good thing you wanna be an athlete and not a mathematician.”
what he said was true, but it annoyed you regardless, so you snapped back.
“and it’s a good thing you’re cute, ‘cause that’s the only reason i haven’t killed you yet.”
“psh,” he laughed in an exhale. “are you into me or something?” he kept his eyes fixed on the paper in front of him.
you giggled, “i think that’s the first time i’ve actually known the answer to a question you’ve asked me.” you smirked to yourself, feeling proud of your smooth talking.
when he didn’t respond, you continued.
“yknow.. mark, for being top of the class, i thought you’d have a bit more common sense.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he didn’t even bother looking at you.
“yes, mark, i’m into you.”
he still avoided looking your way, but he couldn’t hold back his smile. you stayed staring at your cute math tutor, and you could tell it was making him shy. “yn. focus.” he tapped his pencil on the table.
you tried to pout. “but the math isn’t cute...”
he tapped his pencil more aggressively.
you didn’t try to fight back. you started jotting some things down desperately trying to figure out the equation, until he tapped his pencil again. “yn. i need you to focus.”
annoyed, you jerked your head to face him. “i am focused. im literally doing the math-” your eyes traced his features.
“no, i mean on this.”
“on what?”
he smiled and tapped his pencil to his cheek.
“i need you to focus on me.”
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this ended up being longer than intended... but thank you thank you so much for requesting, im so happy to hear that you like my writingggggggggff!!!!! also sorry this took so long, im kinda backed up on requests LOL.
-🍉
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348 notes · View notes
gingiesworld · 9 months
Text
I'll Never Leave You
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Requested
Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader
Warnings: Fluff. Angst.
18+ MINORS DNI
Wanda remembers getting the phone call like it was yesterday. Although Vision had passed away almost seven years ago and she was now engaged. Moving forward with her life, she was happy. Although her past with her dead spouse haunted her.
Although Y/N was patient during the days that she still grieved the loss of her husband. They were slowly digging themselves deeper into a rut. Although Wanda and the twins had moved in with Y/N, they felt like an intruder in their own home.
Especially when they had tried to help Tommy when he got stuck with his Calculus homework.
"You're not my dad!" He yelled at them as their eyes widened. "You never will be and I hate you. I wish he was here and you died."
Y/N was shocked to say the least, instead of speaking with Tommy, they decided to go to their garage. They made themselves a make shift office their for their projects. Even sending an email to their boss to see if they were needed on an upcoming project soon. Knowing it would take more time away from home, if they can even call it that.
"Where are the twins?" Nat questioned as the two sat down for coffee.
"With Vis." She stated until she realised her mistake. "Y/N. They're with Y/N."
"Wanda, do you love them?" Nat questioned as Wanda just nodded.
"Of course I do." She stated. "I just still miss Vis sometimes and it hurts because the twins have had to grow up without their father too."
"I just, maybe this is unfair on Y/N." She reasoned as Wanda chuckled dryly.
"What do you mean?" She questioned her friend.
"I mean, Y/N is very understanding of the pain you've been through since losing Vision, but you're living in the past Wanda and it's not fair on them." Nat told her friend sternly.
"I'm not living in the past Natasha. Y/N and I are getting married." Wanda stated as Nat raised her brow.
"When?" She queried as Wanda came up empty. Since the moment she said yes, she hadn't even bothered to plan the wedding. "See? This isn't fair on them. I've seen how the twins treat them Wanda. They treat Y/N like dirt and I can see the toll it is taking on them."
"They would tell me." Wanda stated as Nat just laughed.
"No they wouldn't. They love you too much to upset you, but you don't love them enough." Nat told her as she looked at the time. "I have to get back to work but I will see you soon Wanda."
All Wanda could do was sit and think before she headed home. Although she loved Vision, she had a whole past with him before he was ripped away from her. But then she found Y/N when she never knew she needed someone, they were her light in the darkness. She was too afraid to let go of Vision and embrace the future she could have with Y/N.
"Where are you going?" She asked Y/N as she entered their shared room after seeing the twins on the sofa watching TV.
"I have a business trip." They told her as they packed their shirts. "I have been asked to consult on a project."
"How long for?" She questioned as Y/N shrugged.
"I am not sure. The project is only just starting and it is a pretty big one so I need to be in LA." They told her as she sighed sadly. She could see the walls they've put up to guard themselves as they spoke.
"We'll miss you." Wanda told them as they chuckled.
"I'll miss you." They kissed her softly before they headed to the bathroom for their toiletries. "But I know the twins won't bat an eyelid with me being gone." With that they bid their goodbye as Wanda remained in her spot. Wondering what they had meant by that. Looking around their shared room, smiling at a picture of the two of them last christmas at Nat's party. Pietro had had the twins so she and Y/N could have time to unwind.
It wasn't until she walked through the halls and noticed all of the photos that occupied the frames were of Vision, herself and the twins. None of Y/N. It seemed like they didn't even live there. Wanda also wanted to know what had happened to their photos so she went straight to the twins.
"Where are all of Y/N's photos?" She questioned the two 12 year olds.
"Dunno." Tommy remarked as Billy remained frozen in his spot.
"Tell me the truth because I had all of our photos packed away in albums other than a couple of the four of us together." Wanda told them as she turned off the television.
"They're not our dad!" Tommy yelled at her as Wanda's eyes widened at his outburst. "And they never will replace him."
"They don't want to replace him." Wanda told him softly. "They just want to be there for you both. Be someone that you can turn to for help. They don't intend to replace your memory of your father."
"But." Billy whispered as Tommy cried.
"I miss him." He sobbed as Wanda opened her arms for him.
"I know sweetie." She whispered as she gestured for Billy to join her. "But Y/N has tried their best to make this a home for all of us. They have tried so hard to be patient with the three of us, but it has been almost seven years since he died and I know it doesn't go away, but it does get easier."
"When is Y/N coming home?" Billy asked as Wanda shrugged.
"I don't know." She whispered as the two hugged her. "So please put their photos back in their frames."
"When can we apologise to them." Tommy questioned as Wanda gave him a smile.
"When they come home." She whispered. As the night went on, the photos were replaced as Wanda was also waiting on a call from Y/N. Wanting to know if they had gotten there safely.
Although Y/N had had the flight to LA booked, they still remained in their car in the car park. Watching as their flight soon took off as thet cried silently. They wanted so much to leave, drown themselves in work but they also loved Wanda so much, and her boys. They were the family they never really had and they are afraid to lose it.
So they sent a quick text to their boss, saying they were running late and needed to catch a later flight because of a family emergency. Then they drove as fast as they could home. Only Wanda and the boys on their mind. That was when everything happened so fast on the freeway.
It was early hours in the morning, Wanda was woken by a phone call. Her heart dropping at the deja vu.
"Hello." She answered wearily.
"Is this Wanda Maximoff?" They questioned.
"Yes." She whispered as she knew in some sense what this phone call could be.
"We have you listed as the emergency contact of Y/N Y/L/N. It appears they have been in a pile up on the freeway. They are currently in surgery right now." They informed her.
"What hospital are they in?" She asked as she started to get herself ready.
"New York Pres." They told her.
"I'll be there shortly." Wanda stated before hanging up and calling her brother. "How fast can you get here?"
"In 20 minutes." He answered tiredly. "Why?"
"Y/N has been in an accident." Wanda told him as she put her shoes on.
"Wanda." She could hear shuffling on the line.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." He told her. She sent a quick text to Nat, informing her of the situation. It didn't take long for both Pietro and Nat to arrive.
"I came as soon as I got the text." She told her as Pietro took his place on the sofa.
"Call me and let me know how they are." He told his twin as Nat ushered her out of the door.
"Are you ok?" Nat questioned as she drove.
"I don't know." She answered honestly. "That phone call brought back everything from Vis and I don't think I can go through that again."
"You won't." Nat told her sternly. "They are strong and I doubt an accident can take them down."
"I hope you're right." She whispered as she watched the buildings go by. As they parked in the hospital parking lot, the two quickly ran out of the car and to the reception. "Hi, we're here for Y/N Y/L/N, they were in a car accident."
"Ahh yes, they have just been put in their own room." The receptionist told them "They had just gotten out of surgery and the doctor will be able to tell you more. He will be here shortly."
"Ms Maximoff?" The doctor called out as Wanda nodded, stepping closer with Nat on her heels.
"Is Y/N going to be ok?" She asked him as he gave her a smile.
"They will be perfectly fine." He started to lead them to their room. "They had endured numerous superficial injuries and internal bleeding so we had to stop that. They also have a broken femur and will need intense physio once it is fully healed."
"When will they wake up?" Wanda questioned as the doctor smiled looking through the door.
"Take a look yourself." He opened the door allowing Wanda to walk inside. She gasped with tears in her eyes as her smile grew.
"You're alive." She whispered as she cupped their cheek hesitantly. "I was so scared. I thought I lost you. I can't lose you Y/N." She told them shakily as they smiled gently at her. Kissing her palm.
"I'll never leave you Wanda." They told her with certainty. "I love you so much."
"I love you too. So much." She pressed a kiss to their lips as her tears flowed freely. A weight had been relieved from her chest as she could breathe. Y/N is still here with her.
As the week went by, Pietro had been with the twins. Trying to keep them from making their own way to the hospital. That was until he got tired of it and ushered them into his car.
"Boys, what are you doing here?" Wanda questioned as the twins burst through the door.
"They wanted to see Y/N and quite frankly, I was getting sick of them." Pietro smirked as Wanda chuckled.
"We're so sorry for how we have been over the years Y/N." Billy told them as the two boys had tears in their eyes.
"Can you forgive us?" Tommy asked them as they just smiled at the twins.
"Of course." They smiled at the two. "I know I will never be your dad. I don't intend to replace him, but what I do intend to do is be there for you. The way he would want someone to be their for his family." They held Wanda's hand in their's as they continued. "I love this little family we have here, yeah all of those words hurt me. I am not going to lie there but I love your mom. I am in love with her and I know she may never love me the same as she did your dad but that's ok. I know that we love each other and we are willing to make this work. I don't want you to hide all of the pictures of your dad away. Maybe have one or two of him on the mantel and maybe make some room for new memories. The memories we will make together."
"That sounds perfect." Wanda whispered as Y/N smiled at her. The twins started to talk more with Y/N and they just listened to them. A silly smile on their face as they felt the love of their family around them.
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the-guilty-writer · 3 months
Note
LOVE LOVE LOVEEE SPENCERS DAUGHTER WITH POTS!!! could I request more pretty please 🙏🙏
Spencer Reid x daughter!reader with POTS
Most people thought that dysautonomia was just your heart rate rising and falling at rapid rates and the occasional syncope, but it was far more than that.
Today, it was the brain fog that was giving you the most trouble. Your thoughts were hazy and slow, as was your vision. The sensation itself wasn't just annoying, but had reached the level of being borderline painful. To make things worse, you had homework to finish and a clouded mind wasn't ideal when learning pre-calculus.
Your dad sat in the large leather chair in the corner, rapidly reading a book in a language you recognized as Russian. Normally, Spencer got lost in his reading, but he couldn't ignore the long, drawn-out groan coming from the direction of the kitchen table.
You had placed your arms on the table to cushion your head, hiding your face from his view. All around you were papers with problems that would have been complex for the average person, but were nothing more than simple mental math for your genius father.
He set his book down and made his way over to you, setting a gentle hand on your shoulder once he reached you.
"Do you need help?" he asked kindly.
"You already explained it to me earlier today," you said, voice muffled by your arms. Your brain fog was normally intermittent, but this week it had been persistent. It made retaining information difficult. When you got home from school, your dad helped you with your studies - explaining things again, sometimes at a slower rate, with breaks in between to rest and recharge. It was normally very helpful in ensuring you didn't get too far behind, but your brain seemed to be too full of fog to make room for any new information.
"Why don't you take an early bed time?" Spencer suggested. "You probably need it."
"This is due tomorrow morning." If you had the energy to cry, you might have, but even shedding tears was too much for your body to handle at the moment.
Spencer looked down at the papers scattered about the table. It was obvious to him that you'd been trying and you understood the work. Nothing was wrong with you; the brain fog was getting in the way of execution.
He kissed the top of your head gently. "Don't worry about it. I'll write you a note."
"Are you sure?" you looked up at him with exhausted eyes.
"I'm sure." Your dad helped you get out of your chair and to your bedroom, giving you a tight hug before saying goodnight.
He scrolled a note on a piece of paper, explaining the situation to your teacher, and leaving his number in case they had any questions. Even though Your dad valued academics, he valued your health and happiness far more.
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ariesqueencobra · 5 months
Text
what we used to be |  l
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Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader
Summary: You meet a new kid and your feelings for your best friend are said aloud.
Warnings: mentions of bullying, mentions of slut shaming, implications of violence, implications of strict parents
Word Count: 3k
A/N: Starting my first ever series for Eli! I always wanted to do a series following his story line in the show along with a female character so I did! I'm aware of other series being done like this by other writers on here, but this will be my own unique twist. There are similarities because it does follow the show's storyline but different because of my own interpretations!
I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.
“If the limit never approaches anything, then the limit does not exist,” you listened to Eli as he helped you with your math homework. “But in this case, it does, so what is it?” he pointed at the problem on the sheet.
“Two?” you furrowed your brows, trying your best not to sound like you were guessing. 
“C’mon, Y/N, you’re in Calculus for a reason,” he encouraged.
“Only because I passed Trig with an 89, they only let me in because of pity,” you frowned. 
Calculus has been your enemy since the beginning of the semester. You really didn’t want to take the class in the first place but your parents had been adamant about you taking higher-level classes. You would’ve been fine filling up your schedule with more creative art classes like ceramics and photography, but that wasn’t the agreement. 
Math and science classes were part of the agreement. 
Thankfully, you had two smart best friends who helped you whenever you had trouble.
“My advice?” Demetri spoke up.
You and Eli glanced at him, a knowing look on both your faces.
To be honest, while you had two best friends, only one was good at helping you out. 
Demetri on the other hand? He had a habit of giving unsolicited advice. But because you loved him, you tolerated and actually encouraged him to hear what he had to say. 
“Rewatch Mean Girls,” he deadpanned. 
You let out a chuckle. “What I’m hearing is, that you guys are agreeing to watch it for our next movie night,” you grinned.
Both boys groaned.
“I’m fine watching your sci-fi, superhero films, but a girl needs her rom coms and chick flicks,” you mused. 
Being the only girl and having vastly different interests compared to the guys, there were moments where you felt outnumbered. Sometimes you have to plead for one movie night to be your pick. 
“I’d be down for Mean Girls this Friday,” Eli shrugged.
You silently clapped your hands, face creeping up with heat when you and Eli made eye contact.
“Demitiri?” you turned your attention to your other best friend.
After a minute, he rolled his eyes, agreeing.
“This Friday, my place,” you grinned. “Both my parents will be having a date night, so we’ll have the place to ourselves,”.
“Are you sure your dad will allow that?” Demetri cocked a brow. “That man is scary and I don’t want to know what will happen when he sees his daughter home alone with two boys,” he shuddered. 
“He won’t mind, he likes you guys,” you attempted to reassure. “Besides, we’re just watching a movie,”.
“We know that, but will he?” Demetri asked in a mix of sarcasm and sincerity. 
“C’mon, my dad isn’t that scary,” you trailed. 
“I-I don’t think he likes me very much,” Eli said quietly. 
“He does,” you straightened up. “Don’t worry about my dad guys, you’ve known him for ten years,” you stated.
You watched as the boys avoided your gaze, the sound of the cafeteria surrounded you when they both fell silent. Leaning back in your seat, you wondered why they were bringing this up now. 
Like he read your mind, Demetri spoke up, “I’m just pointing out an observation I’ve noticed for the last few years. The older we get, the more of a threat your dad thinks we are,” he explained. “Guess it’s the raging teenage hormones!” he gestured with his hands, joking at the end.
Eli’s lips spread out into a smirk.
Relaxing, you shook your head at the way your best friend acted, even though you found the joke to be funny.
For the next few minutes, Eli went on to explain limits to you. You were about to ask a question when a new presence stopped you.
“Hey, can I sit here?” 
You all turned your attention to a kid with dark hair and brown eyes, a tray in his hand as he gestured at the empty seat next to Eli. 
You were about to welcome him until Demitri beat you to it. 
“Check back next semester as you can see we’re entirely booked,” he said sarcastically but the new kid didn’t catch it.
With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he was about to walk away. 
“He’s kidding, you can sit,” you gestured to the empty seat. “I’m Y/N, that’s Demitri and Eli,” you introduced. 
“Miguel,” he nodded.
Just then, Yasmine and her entourage walked passed, causing Miguel to go into a trance. 
You frowned at his reaction. You hated that just cause they were pretty, it forgave all the terrible things they’ve done to your friends and you.
“You’re just torturing yourself,” Demetri warned. “They’re the rich girls”.
“Do you talk to them or…?” Miguel asked.
“Yeah, all the time,” Demetri feigned a smirk. “We hang out after school, make out,” he shrugged. “Eli is homecoming king, and gets laid more than anyone”.
You rolled your lips together, glancing at your lap.
“You pretty much signed away all hopes of losing your virginity before college the moment you sat at this table,” he frowned. 
Comments like that reminded you that boys will be boys. In the sense that virginity is still frowned upon. The societal pressure to lose it before a certain age disgusted you. 
What happened to not conforming to society's rules?
“Oh, great, Yasmine is looking at us,” Eli narrowed in on himself, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. “Probably making fun of me”.
“I wouldn’t assume that,” you reassured. “She’s always going to have that nasty look on her face,” you grimaced.
Then you made eye contact with her. 
She whispered something to Moon, causing both of them to burst out laughing. 
You figured she was making fun of you again, calling you a slut or whatever. Dropping your gaze to your food, you checked your phone for the time.
“I gotta go, it was nice meeting you,” you smiled towards Miguel as you got up. 
“What about your homework?” Eli asked.
“I got limits now,” you attempted to reassure but your composure fell when you accidentally looked Yasmine’s way. “Besides I have to get my sketch done before class,” you hoisted your bag over your shoulder. 
Art was your passion. Since you could talk, you could draw. Your best friends might’ve been computer nerds, but you? You were an artistic geek. 
Still, as talented as you were, Yasmine and Moon used that area of your life to make fun of you. Whether it was a silly doodle you drew during class or an actual piece you worked your ass off for class. 
They tried to diminish your spirit with your art, but thankfully you haven’t lost it yet.
Shaking your head to brush the thoughts away, you gulped down the lump in your throat and managed to make your way down the hall to your art class twenty minutes early.
While you were gone from the lunchroom, the conversation at the table shifted, focusing on you.
“Do you like her or something?” Miguel asked Eli.
The awkward boy stilled at the newcomer’s question, opting to fidget with his fingers while staring at his tray. He didn’t think he was being obvious, the only other person who knew of his infatuation with you was Demetri. 
“He’s been in love with her since they met in kindergarten, her too but they’re too scared to admit it,” Demetri answered for him. “I think they’ll get married before either of them admit they do like each other,”.
It was true. 
You liked Eli and Eli liked you.
The moment you laid eyes on him on the playground, that was it for the two of you. But both of you are socially awkward, insecure people…neither of you had the guts to tell each other how you truly feel.
Leaving Demetri to stand and watch at the mutual pining unwind for the last ten years.
“I’m not in love with her,” Eli defended. “Besides, she wouldn’t ever like someone like me,” he folded in on himself. 
“You won’t know if you never strike first,” Miguel tried to reason. 
“Good luck with getting Eli to do that,” Demerit said.
Eli sighed, keeping his gaze down. As much as he wanted to argue, he knew deep down that his friend was right.
~
“Keep this door open,” your dad barked quickly followed by your mother scolding him.
The door had been half-way opened, or half-way closed, when he walked past. He decided it wasn’t to his standards so he made sure the door was wide, banging it against the adjacent wall.
“Sorry,” you said, not looking up from your notebook.
You were sitting in your room, Eli helping you study for your Clac quiz tomorrow. It was a routine for the two of you, hanging out after school and doing homework. Quality time well spent and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Sometimes Demetri would join but he decided to play Dungeon Lord after school today. Part of you was happy to hear he wouldn’t be joining.
Especially when that meant you spent more time with Eli. Meaning there would be more brief moments where your shoulders or knees would brush. Which would send butterflies straight to your tummy.
“Miguel seems nice,” Eli shrugged, placing his pen down. “He mentioned something about karate, he wants all of us to join,” he smiled lightly.
“Really?” you smirked. “What did Demetri say to that?” you laughed, knowing he had some highlighted opinions about it.
“Wasn’t on board, but I don’t know,” he glanced down. “Maybe it could be fun,” he said.
“If you want to,” you passed him a smile. “It’d be nice to see you kick Kyler’s ass for once,” you sighed, glancing at the problem in your book.
You missed the way he frowned but he continued, “You should join too,”. 
“Me?” your eyes widened and you glanced up to meet his gaze. 
“Yeah,” he cracked a grin. One that was big and genuine, something that only happened in front of you or Demetri. “You’d be great at kicking ass too,” he reasoned. 
“In my dreams,” you huffed out a laugh. “I can barely do a push-up,” you shook your head. 
“Maybe just think about it,” he suggested.
“Okay, I will,” you nodded. “So, how am I doing?” you licked your lips. 
You pushed your notebook between the two of you. 
Both of you leaned in, your shoulders brushing against each other. Anytime you inhaled, you smelled him. 
He smelled nice. 
“You’re doing good, you just need to remember that an open circle means the limit exists but not in the function,” he pointed at the problem you got wrong. 
“Stupid circles,” you huffed out a breath, running a hand over your hair. “Thanks again, Eli,” you pressed your lips into a soft smile. 
“You’re going to do great, okay?” he nudged his elbow with yours. 
“Okay,” you nodded, allowing yourself to believe. 
You went over the material for a few minutes, your mind getting lost in all things limits and functions. 
Unbestowent to you though, Eli was watching you. 
He watched the way your nose would scrunch when you didn’t understand what you read the first time around. The way your lashes fluttered as you scanned the page. The way you would lick your lips in concentration. The way you would crack your knuckles when they got too stiff. 
He was utterly in love with you. 
Being friends for ten years, you’d reach that point without even dating. Even if it was just puppy love, he knew one thing for sure—he likes you, a lot. 
He doubted himself when he thought about what Demetri said. And when he thought about the comment Kyler made earlier of him being a loser. He had come home crying, knowing he was never going to get a girlfriend because of the way he looked. But then his mind thought to Miguel. 
Maybe he could be wrong, maybe he could get a girlfriend. Maybe it could be you.
Without second-guessing any further, he opened his mouth.
“Hey, Y/N?” he cleared his throat. 
“Yeah?” you reached your gaze to his, your head resting in your palm. 
“I like you,” he confessed, face going pale at the fact that he actually said that to you. 
Your eyes went wide, face blank as you took in his words. You didn’t say anything for a few moments, just staring at your best friend. 
“I-you know, never mind, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he felt embarrassed, shaking his head as he went back to his homework. 
“Wait!” you reached out and touched his arm. “I like you too,” you gulped, a smile creeping up on your face. 
“Really?” he seemed taken aback.
You nodded enthusiastically. 
The two of you gazed at each other for what felt like a few minutes until you bent over in giggles, still in disbelief. 
“I’m glad you told me,” you reached for his hand on your desk, squeezing it. 
“Me too,” he squeezed it back. 
You felt your cheeks heat up before you turned back to your work. 
The rest of the night was spent with the two of you doing work, holding hands.
~
The next day at school, Eli was sitting with Demetri and Miguel. 
Having just told the news about you and him, he was feeling a little proud of himself that he actually did it. 
And more relieved that you actually reciprocate his feelings.
“I was right, wasn’t I?” Demetri raised a brow.
Eli smiled, his cheeks turning pink while Miguel laughed. 
“I’m glad someone took my advice, now you see my Sensei is legit,” Miguel pointed out. 
Eli nodded, a small smile on his face.
“I’m gonna need more evidence to back it up,” Demerit crossed his arms over his chest. “This,” he gestured to Eli, “has been a work in progress for ten years, your words of encouragement just gave him enough push,” he scoffed. 
About to respond, Eli was stopped by the smell of your perfume. He turned his head to the left just in time to greet you as you approached the table.
“Hi, guys,” you greeted, taking your seat next to Eli. “Hi, Eli,” your cheeks warmed up.
“Hi, Y/N,” his eyes beamed with admiration. “You look nice,” he blushed, glancing over the pretty green sundress you wore today, but his gaze circled back to your face.
“Thanks,” you glanced down, running a hand over the skirt. “It’s been in my closet for a while, I figured it’d be happy to see the light of day,” you shrugged, unaware he wasn’t talking about the dress.
“You should wear it more often,” Eli commented.
Demetri and Miguel sent each other a knowing look before Miguel decided to cut the awkward lovey-dovey talk.
“So, Y/N, did Eli tell you about joining my karate dojo?”
You focused your gaze on him, the warmth of your cheeks dissolving when your mind was pushed away from Eli. “Uh, yeah,” you smiled. “I thought about it, but I don’t know if I want to do something like that. I need my hands for my art, I don’t want them beaten and bruised,” you stifled a laugh. 
Miguel nodded in understanding. “Thanks for thinking about it, Y/N,” he pressed his lips in a smile. 
“No problem. Anyway, do you want to join us for movie night this Friday?” you extended your invitation to him. “You can pick the movie,” you offered. 
“Sure, I’d like that,” he grinned.
“Awesome”. 
~
Friday came around and you were all seated on your couch in the living room watching Spider-Man. 
You actually enjoyed the pick, especially watching the nerdy boy become the hero. One who reminded you a lot of the boy sitting right next to you. 
Miguel was on the recliner, Demetri on the other end of the couch, and Eli in the middle with you on the other side. Except, Eli was scooted closer to you, only a bowl of popcorn separating the two of you. 
Your hands happened to brush a lot when you’d reach for the popcorn. Though, you didn’t mind. 
You had gotten to the part where Peter Parker discovered his powers, a glass in your hand as you had come back from refilling your drink.
“That’s a cool painting,” Miguel noticed the piece of art framed by the TV. 
It was an oceanscape of the beach.
“Y/N painted it,” Eli stated.
“No kidding,” Miguel said in amazement, standing up to study it. “You’re really talented, Y/N,” he smiled over to you. 
“Thanks, that was my first one so my parents framed it,” you shyly said. 
“You should see her sketchbook, it’s filled with the most awesome things,” Eli smiled.
You glanced at him, sending him a thankful look. 
“Can I see?” Miguel’s eyes beamed. “My yaya loves paintings, I’d love to show her your work,” he said.
“Yeah, I’ll grab some that you could take pictures of,” you stood up, cheeks on fire. 
It wasn’t often that you got praised for your art, mainly from your parents or your friends. So this was new. But you took the pleasure from it nonetheless. 
Heading to your room, you grabbed a few of your favorite paintings before you went to your bag in search of your sketchbook, only you couldn’t find it. 
As panic erupted, you thought back to the last time you saw it. You had it in art class and then you went to P.E. You could’ve sworn you had it then, but you guessed you were wrong. 
“I can’t find my sketchbook,” you gulped, walking back to the living room. 
“Maybe you left it in your locker or someone found it and took it to the lost and found,” Miguel offered, gesturing with his hands. 
“Yeah, it’ll turn up,” Demetri reassured. “I don’t think anyone would have wanted to steal it,” he shrugged.
“We’ll help you find it on Monday,” Eli said, reaching for your hand.
“Thanks, guys,” you blew out your breath.
You were glad you had them and you really hoped your sketchbook turned up. 
Part of you didn’t want to think about it, but you were worried about who had it if they did. And it only traced back to two girls.
~
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sungbeam · 8 months
Text
𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
jung wooyoung x gn!reader
1.2k words, est. relationship au, low-key slice of life, kissing/making out, fluff, cheese :l
a/n: requests now closed! owjdkdjd i couldn't really make it suggestive cuz that wasn't the direction the fic was going, many apologies, chip !! >< hope u enjoy a slice of ur life w ur bf tho 😚
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You could always pick Jung Wooyoung out of a line up. How could you not? The curtains of dual-dyed hair, the nose sculpted like marble, the smile—oh, his smile. His smile always had you tripping over your feet, faster than a crater in the sidewalk. And that smile was yours.
The bell above the door to the convenience store you worked at jingled a tinny sound and allowed the cool, night breeze to waft inside. You were stationed right beside it at the front counter, half a pair of earbuds in with a calculus textbook before you and a tub of ice cream for moral support. Your idea of a Wednesday night hadn't always been the midnight shift at the corner store, but it provided you with time needed to complete your homework since you barely experienced a rush hour.
The man in question waltzed through the door in a dark colored hoodie and a pair of old headphones draped around his neck. He sought you out immediately, beelining for the counter. "Now what's a sweet thing like you working in a dump like this?" He drawled as he leaned his side against the counter. There was a teasing glint in his eyes, something that came trademark to Wooyoung.
You offered him a spoonful of your strawberry cheesecake ice cream. "Some fella gon' done me wrong," you sighed to play along. "Just me and the ice cream." Your eyes skirted to the Lucky Cat figurine by the window, swinging around its tiny, white paw. "And the cat."
Wooyoung licked his lips as he savored the flavor of the ice cream. "Mm, that's good. Strawberry cheesecake?"
"Yup," you said, nodding. You scooped another bite for yourself. The carton was nearly as empty as the ice cream aisle was now. It always ran dry by this time of night. "That almost completes our world tour of the seventy-five flavors we sell, Woo. What's your favorite?"
Without hesitation, "You."
You choked up a laugh, your cheeks heating up beneath the fizzling fluorescent lights. Wooyoung's smile lit up the room and made the greenish tint of the store just a little warmer. He allowed you time to recover. "What? There's nothing sweeter than my baby."
He said it so easily. Your heart slammed against your ribcage and you wanted him to see it palpitate. Almost bashfully, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and ducked your head to fidget with your calculus textbook. "You're so—why're you so cheesy!"
"Me? Cheesy?" He scoffed and placed a hand against his chest in mock offense. "How'd you know?"
You grinned; he grinned back. "You're so silly," you said, softer this time, closing your book and tearing the earbud out of your ear. According to the digital clock to your right, it was about time for you to close up.
"At least I make you laugh," he replied. As if it was the simplest thing in the world. As if his only purpose was to make you laugh, see you smile.
You were left biting your tongue, unable to string together the words to make him just as speechless. He watched you with a fond look in his eyes, the mole beneath his eye tempting you in wanting to kiss it. You began to clean everything up—dumping your trash in the bin, packing your school materials away, sweeping around the aisles. Wooyoung struck up a conversation about something San had been up to earlier today, his voice somehow carrying through the store as he emptied the trash into the alleyway dumpster for you. You both worked like two cogs in a machine, in no hurry, just desiring to be in the other's space.
When the store was cleaned up, Wooyoung grabbed your backpack for you and slung it over his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around you then, tucking you to his side as you locked the store up behind you.
The city was barren at this time of night, the streets dark and littered with circles of amber light from the streetlights. The walk to the nearby metro station was not necessarily just around the corner, so you always appreciated when Wooyoung dropped by to hang out and walk you home.
"What are you up to tonight?" You asked him, leaning your head against him slightly as you walked. You knew for sure he would probably walk you home, then head out to somewhere else with his friends. He never had short nights.
He hummed. "Mmh… think I'm meeting Joong hyung and everyone at the ring. Mingi's on tonight."
You raised a brow. "Oh, really? I thought he was taking a break to train some more."
"Nah, I think he just got impatient," Wooyoung mused. "You can still come with, baby. I could keep you safe; they're all afraid of me."
"Always the joker, aren't you?"
"Hey!" He squawked, peering over at you with his eyes alight and smile wide. "I take offense to that."
You laughed, patting his chest. "Want me to kiss it better?"
Wooyoung simpered down. "Yeah, always."
With a playful roll of your eyes, you stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk and cupped his cheeks. You met his lips with a firm, but affectionate peck. When you pulled away, he had attempted to press onwards and coax you back to him.
"I think I'm a little more offended than you think," he said, voice breathy. His arms were around your waist and anchored you to him, but left you room to still back away if you didn't want this.
You grazed your thumb over his lips and felt the bite of his teeth for a split second. "Your ego bruises like a peach, Wooyoung."
"And this peach would love for you to kiss him better."
Your heart did a somersault or two before you obliged him. He lowered his mouth over yours again, and you claimed that smile of his for yourself, as you had always done. Your fingers grasped the sides of his face to pull him impossibly close to you. Everything was so quiet; the world became yours and his. It was like he had nowhere to be and you had nowhere to go, but this moment was good, and you could have him as much as you could.
Wooyoung's tongue swiped over your bottom lip in a plea for entry, to which you granted. His fingers dug into your sides and held on for dear life. There was a crease between his brows as he kissed you, bruising both of your lips like the peach you claimed his ego to be.
And when you broke for air, his lips moved around your face to fill every crevice with him.
Your voice was hoarse, but chest light at the smattering of kisses over your face. "Is that amendment enough?" You laughed.
He smiled down at you, tongue licking his lips. "For now," he said with a wink.
Wooyoung curled his arm around your waist and the two of you started back in the direction of the metro station. Your voices echoed contently in the barren street that you had made your own:
"What do you mean 'for now?'"
"Well, you can't expect me to not pick up where we left off once we get home?"
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atz m.list
permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @tinkerbell460 @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @floatingpluto @gyulfriend @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @soonyoungblr @justanotherkpopstanlol @kangfication @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @haechansbbg @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @kflixnet
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sarahsmi13s · 6 months
Text
Friday Night Moonlight
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for @roosterforme 's rocktober event!!
pairing: robert 'bob' floyd x reader (slight high school au)
characters: bob floyd, reader (nickname dolly), beckett fletcher, misc high school kids
warnings: language, cheating, high school drama, pining, best friends to sorta lovers, the ending may be rushed, there's a kiss, fighting, toxic boyfriend, please let me know if i missed anything
word count: ~4.5k
a/n: the song that inspired this is the nitty gritty dirt band's fishin' in the dark, and taylor swift's you belong with me music video (she was born in the 80's 😅) em, i want to apologize for getting this up so late! i got bogged down with whumptober, but i'm here!
summary: having been best friends since childhood, bob knows just what you need to feel better after a nasty break up
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You and Bob had been neighbors your entire life. Your bedroom window had been right across from his since you were both toddlers and you played in your backyards while your parents drank coffee or watched the football games on Saturdays.
Also, you and Bob both had cousins that participated in Friday night events so you often played in the grass, completely ignoring the game and just enjoying getting to stay up past your bedtime. You even wrote notes in sketchbooks and talked through your windows when you were supposed to be in bed.
And even now, in your senior year of high school, you still did that.
Talking through your windows like you were passing notes in class, which you also did and you never once got caught.
You also got to see parts of each other you never let your parents see, and never spoke about outside of your sketchbooks.
The sad parts, the angry parts, all of it stayed on pieces of paper, hidden between two pieces of cardboard and bound together with flimsy metal spirals.
Until tonight…
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Bob glanced up from his homework, looking towards your window to check on you and your AP Calculus homework. 
But all he found was you on your feet, pacing around your room as you heatedly spoke into your phone, unoccupied arm flailing about as you argued with whoever was on the other end. It was no doubt your boyfriend.
Ah yes…  Your boyfriend, the star running back on the football team — Beckett Fletcher.
Bob and Beckett weren’t the fondest of each other. Bob knew you deserved better and Beckett was threatened by your childhood best friend. But they tried their best to not let you catch on, sending one another looks when you weren’t paying attention.
But Bob wanted to tell you to leave, tell you that Beckett is no good for you. Because if Bob ever saw you on your phone and you were either crying or angry… chances were it was Beckett on the other end of the line.
And Bob despised it.
Ever since you were children, Bob never liked to see you sad. He always found a way to cheer you up, whether it was getting you to laugh or just simply distracting you with a cartoon and cuddles on the couch.
He found a way to take your pain away.
Watching you intensely as you talked, Bob was already reaching for his sketchbook.
Once you threw the phone on your bed and you sat at your desk by the window, you looked up and saw that Bob had a note ready. The letter’s scribbled across reading, “what’s wrong?” rather than what they usually read which was “are you okay?”
Man… you really needed to shut your curtain when you’re on the phone with Beckett.
You didn’t like Bob seeing the faults in your relationship, seeing that the foundation was cracked just so he could tell you it was a bad investment because of the unstable ground. 
You were trying so hard to keep this relationship standing, it was the only way to get over your feelings for your best friend, to forget the piece of paper you tucked away in your night stand 6 years ago… but Beckett was making it really hard.
And now you were really debating if staying with him was worth it… and Bob could see it.
Sighing, you picked up your own sketchbook and thick Sharpie, writing your message down before flipping it to show him. 
“drama, i’m just sick of it”
You were lucky that Bob couldn’t see your tears through the glass and you tried your best to keep it hidden from him by not letting your shoulders move as you silently cried. 
Bob frowned, he wasn’t aware of any drama at the school. And being the fly on the wall he tends to be, he knows a lot of the drama. So this was clearly a sign that this was internal in your relationship and exclusive to locker room and cheer practice talk, which he was not privy to as he was in band – a percussionist no less, they had their own things going on.
But even still, you liked to share your drama with him, sitting in the backyard while your parents watched the Sooners play on Saturday night. It was y’all’s thing, but over the past few weeks you never shared cheer drama with him and you both just chatted about what you both knew and then changed the subject completely to something else.
He knew something was wrong but… this wasn’t something you talk about over notes through a window, and you looked… tired.
So he gave you a sympathetic look and apologized, not happy that you just shrugged it off and gave him a less than convincing smile. But you were quick to throw up a ‘goodnight’ note, closing your curtain when you saw his note.
Bob frowned and looked at his drawer, pondering about the note left in there… a note he wrote a while back that he was too scared to show you.
Meanwhile, you turned your lamp off and collapsed into your bed, holding a stuffed bunny to your chest as you sobbed into your pillow.
Tomorrow wasn’t gonna be fun.
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The next morning, you woke up looking like death hit you with a fighter jet.
You had fierce under eye bags and your cheeks were blotchy and red. Your upper lip and nose were raw from both your hand rubbing it and the tissues that were never as gentle as they claimed. 
Groaning, you did your best to cover it up, using the proper techniques your mother taught you to use with her estheticians license. You had to look put together for tonight because it was Friday and you had a home football game against one of your biggest rivals.
After your makeup was done and your hair was in dutch braids, a bow securing them together at the base of your neck with your ends curled in tight waves, you put your long sleeve uniform on. It was going to cool off once the sun went down so you needed to be prepared.
And after all that was said and done, you bid your parents a goodbye before walking out to meet Beckett at the curb so he can take you to school.
You had your license, but you didn’t have a car just yet so Bob had offered to take you to school and he did until you started dating Beckett and then you rode with him instead.
Except, you didn’t walk out with a smile on your face or that “cheerleader pep” in your step this time. No, because after your argument with him, you truly weren’t sure if he was even going to be outside this time or not.
And to your disappointment but not disbelief… your boyfriend wasn’t there.
But Bob was… your best friend was there, he was always there.
“Hey, Y/N! Do you need a lift? I’ve got plenty of room.” 
Hearing his voice in person was a bigger relief than you thought it was going to be. It was soothing for you, and you felt a gentle smile form on your face.
Instead of answering right away you walked over to him, prompting him to walk and meet you halfway.
“How are you doing? That conversation looked pretty heated…”
While his tone was gentle, Bob’s words were straight to the point. He knew that whatever was said had a great effect on you and a simple night’s sleep wouldn’t magically fix it all. 
“I’m okay. Just a dumb fight. It’s probably just his nerves, tonight is a big game and he’s got a lot riding on his shoulders,” you said, acceptance in your voice as you didn’t meet your best friend’s eyes.
Bob hated that. Hated the excuse you made for Beckett. Hated that you kept giving him the benefit of the doubt instead of just accepting that he was a shitty boyfriend.
You had been getting into more fights lately and you were either blaming yourself or excusing Beckett’s faults for the fact he was stressed out. 
Even if he was stressed, Bob wouldn’t ever make you feel like this. He would never make you feel like this, period, he loved you too much.
“Are you sure? You seem to be having a lot of fights the past few weeks, does it have to do with the drama you told me about?”
The way you sucked in a breath and played with the bottom of your uniform skirt told him all he needed to know.
“Dolly…”
Your head whipped up at the mention of your childhood nickname. Bob had given it to you because you carried around your bunny doll everywhere when you were little. He rarely used it anymore, so when he did – he was being serious.
“Bobby look I-”
Suddenly a car pulled up, “Hey babe, sorry I’m late.”
You looked over, seeing Beckett, “It’s alright Beck.” You looked at Bob, “I’ll see you later. Bye.” Bob waved, “See you later, Y/N.” 
Beckett sent Bob a glare as you got in the passenger seat before driving off as soon as your door was closed. Bob just rolled his eyes and huffed before getting in his car.
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“So, what were you and Bob talking about before I pulled up?” Beckett asked as he drove away. You shrugged and buckled your seat belt, “It was nothing Beck.” He huffed a little, “Sure it was.” 
You scoffed but just shook your head and rested your hand on your fist. 
Beckett had really been bugging you about Bob lately. Asking you questions all the time. Accusing you of being with Bob when you missed a call. 
You knew him and Bob didn’t get along. But he had rarely ever accused you of having feelings towards him until recently. It was completely random because it came out of nowhere. It was causing so many fights and the stress was blowing small things way out of proportion.
It was killing your relationship.
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The school day went by fairly quickly. It usually did on Fridays because a pep-rally in the middle of the day usually made the second half go by faster.
Most students went home to get ready for the game, maybe changing an outfit or doing makeup touch ups before coming back to the stadium. But not everyone did. The kids participating in the night’s activities, the football players, cheerleaders, and band members, stayed on campus or close to it so they weren’t late. Usually just going to grab a bite to eat or just hang out until it was time.
Bob usually went with you to go eat and hangout before you got with Beckett. But now he just chilled in the percussion room and practiced until he needed to get ready.
He tried to tune out the color guard next door, not real keen on listening in to their drama. But this time, something piqued his interest. 
“Oh my gosh, you’re kidding! There’s no way!” Mariah yelled, her voice going through the thin walls.
“Apparently so, it’s sad honestly. And Tamara knows that he’s still with Y/N!” Paige exclaimed.
That. That statement was what really got Bob’s attention.
Tamara was on the dance team, going there after not making it on the cheer squad. She had never been mean to you per say but it was pretty clear that she wasn’t your biggest fan.
And now it seems like she went straight for the throat and was keen on making your life hell your final year of high school.
“I know, and Y/N doesn’t even know… I hope she finds out soon or Beckett actually breaks up with her first. She’s clearly taking it hard.”
“They fight all the damn time, of course she’s not okay, Mariah.”
Bob clenched his fist, he was seething. 
This, this was the drama you were talking about and this was the reason Beckett kept picking fights with you.
He shook his head and pulled out his phone, he needed to talk to you.
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You sat in the field house, smiling at Beckett as he drummed on your thigh. 
You both managed to make up before the game. Apologies on both sides and spending time together to really talk it out. So, now you both could focus on the game and not worry about your relationship.
“Fletch, c’mon, we gotta go get dressed,” Taylor, Beckett’s best friend said, not looking at you as he pointed to the locker room. Beckett nodded and kissed your cheek where his number was temporarily tattooed on your cheek, “I gotta go baby.” You nodded and kissed his lips, “Good luck, Beck.”
You smiled at Taylor and walked over to the cheerleaders.
“Dude, you have to tell her. Or I’ll tell her,” you overheard Taylor whispering. “Taylor, chill out. Everything’s fine.” 
You feel your heart drop, thoughts filling your mind before you shake them away. 
“Yeah Tamara told me-” Megan started before Jayme cut her off. “Girl, shut up.” “Why? I thought you wanted to talk about her and B-”
“Hey, Y/N, I see that you and Beckett are getting along again,” Kaitlyn said, once again cutting Megan off. 
You nodded, “Yeah, we had a decent conversation, talked a lot of things out. Still not smooth, but less rough than before.” Alicia nodded with a smile, “That’s good.” 
You nodded again and then your phone went off with a text. 
Meet me in the band room parking lot by my car. There’s something I need to tell you.
You sucked in a breath, “Hey, guys, I’ll um, I’ll be right back.” “Okay, practice can’t start without you. Don’t keep us waiting,” JJ said with a teasing smile. You rolled your eyes playfully, “I shouldn’t be too long.” 
You jogged out of the fieldhouse and down to the parking lot where Bob’s car was. 
Bob was leaning on the hood when you got to him.
“Hey, what did you-”
“Beckett’s cheating on you.” 
You stopped dead in your tracks. Your heart was practically pounding in your ears now. 
“W-what?”
He stepped towards you and gently grabbed your arms as he looked down. “Beckett’s cheating on you with Tamara. Mariah and Paige were talking about it in the band room… I’m so sorry Y/N…”
You blinked at him before shaking your head and pushing him off of you, “No… No, you’re wrong. You’re lying.” You backed away from him, still shaking your head. “You’re supposed to be my friend. Why are you lying to me? Beckett wouldn’t–” Bob stepped forward desperately trying to get you to listen to him but you stepped back with your arms outstretched, “Don’t touch me.”
Bob's face fell, “Dolly… please. You have to believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”
You shook your head, “He wouldn’t do that!” “I’m not lying! I heard them talking about it!” Bob defended, honestly feeling hurt that you thought he would do that to you.
You throw your arms up, the words you overheard in the fieldhouse flooding your mind and the things Beckett had said about Bob before.
“Look, Robert,” you hissed and began to talk with your hands. “I get that you might be jealous of Beckett, but lying to me and saying shit like this won’t help you.”
Your stomach churned nauseously as the venom slipped back down your own throat as Bob’s anger shifted into hurt and betrayal behind his lenses. You had never believed the words you just spat at him. Never once did you think that Bob would lie to you because he was jealous. He had never done it before, so why would he do it now?
But you were conflicted and you were hurt. You felt embarrassed that it seemed everyone knew what was going on in your relationship and you didn’t. You felt used and gullible. 
You knew you were misplacing your hurt and anger. Bob was just trying to help. But you had made up with Beckett and it all felt right again, Bob just happened to be the one that took off your rose tinted glasses. 
But before you could rectify yourself, Bob clicked his tongue and hung his head as he rested his hands on his hips. 
“You wanna be like that? Fine. Be like that, don’t believe me,” he shook his head and dropped his hands to his side. “You know where to find me when it crashes down on top of you.”
All you could do was cross your arms and look down at your white cheer shoes, which only made him scoff before he shook his head again. His shoulder collided with yours as he walked past, knocking you off your footing a little before going back inside the bad room.
You could only sniffle before shaking your head and walking up to the field house.
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The game was finally over.
Your team won with, you guessed it, Beckett scoring the winning touchdown. 
You and Bob had just been thrumming with nerves the whole game. Bob was worried about you and he felt bad for just leaving you like he had instead of giving you a minute to process. But he guesses you were both acting off emotions.
You were anxious because you knew that other shoe had to drop. You just wanted to catch it before it landed on your heart. 
And even though they won, you still were anxious as you ran out onto the football field. 
“Beck! Beck! Beckett!” Taylor tried to fast walk by you as you tried to find your boyfriend. “Hey, Taylor,” you caught his arm. “Where’s Beckett?” Taylor looked down at you sympathetically before you watched his eyes flicker back the direction he came, “Y/N… I’m so sorry…” 
You furrowed your brow and he sighed before gently turning you.
And the other shoe dropped…
It dropped and sent 15 cleat studs into your heart.
There in the endzone was none other than Beckett Fletcher and Tamara Wilson making out like they had been dating for a year.
“I tried Y/N… I’m so sorry…” 
You sniffled and looked down at your grass stained cheer shoes, “Yeah because sorry is gonna fix the fact your sister is making out with my boyfriend…” Tears finally slipped down your face. “You know what, you can break up with him for me… I need to leave.”
Pulling your arm from his grip, you turned to go to the track and get your bag.
“Y/N wait–”
“Taylor, I-I can’t right now okay? I just… I need to go be with someone I wholeheartedly trust right now.”
You sniffled before wiping at your nose and running back towards the track.
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Bob sighed and walked out of the band room and towards his car. He was ready to go home and just shower off the day and sleep.
Taking a deep breath, he unlocked his car and opened the door.
And he saw the last thing he expected to see.
You.
You were curled up in the front seat of his car, with a mirror in hand scrubbing at your cheek with a McDonald’s napkin as you sobbed. He could see you practically shivering still being in your uniform that provided no warmth at all.
He knew why you were there and he wasn’t gonna say a damn thing. He knew better than to say I told you so or anything because that was shitty of him. 
You needed a friend, you needed him.
So, he got in and shut his door. “I have sweatpants in the backseat,” he said lowly as he started the car. “And a hoodie.” 
You sniffled and hiccuped a little, “Please…” He nodded and turned in his seat to get them from under his backpack. “Here ya go Dolly,” he said softly as he handed the items to you.
You put your mirror down and wiped at your raw, damp cheek to wipe away both tears and any remainder of that tattoo. You had taken your shoes off when you got in, so you just slipped the sweats on before wiggling your skirt down your legs. 
Wadding it up, you threw it in the backseat before practically ripping your bow out and doing the same. 
Bob just watched, patiently waiting on you and letting you collect yourself. 
“Robby I…” You started before a new wave of tears hit and you started sobbing into your hands. 
He frowned, hating the sound of you crying. But he didn’t want to attempt to coax anything out of you just yet, wanting you to just let it out. 
Gently, Bob turned you around so your back faced him. He carefully untied your ponytail before using his dexterous fingers to undo your braids. He gently massaged your head, knowing that it was a good way to calm you down.
Your sobs lessened to smaller whimpers and sniffles as he massaged the areas where you were sensitive, soothing you slowly. 
He smiled a little as you turned to face him.
“Robby, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. You were just trying to help… I didn’t believe what I said about you being jealous. I’m sorry I said it.”
You wrapped your arms around him and he immediately reciprocated. “I’m sorry for how I reacted. I should have been more patient, and maybe I should have been more gentle with it.” You sniffled into his shoulder, “I deserved it… I shouldn’t have–”
“No, no, Dolly, we’re not doing that. We’ve both acknowledged what we shouldn’t have done. We can work past it, because that’s what we do. We work together.” You nodded, “You’re right, you’re right.”
You pulled back and wiped your eyes, giggling a little when he held the hoodie out to you. You took it, trying to ignore the butterflies as your fingers brushed his and the scent of his body spray surrounding you as slipped the hoodie on. “Thank you, Robby.” 
He smiled at you, “Of course. Now let’s go, I’m sure we can hang out in the living room and watch your comfort movies.” You giggled, “You always know how to cheer me up.”
“I’ve known you for 13 years, I’d hope so,” he chuckled as he started driving out of the parking lot. You smiled over at him before resting your head against the window and closing your eyes as he turned the radio up a little more.
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Bob nodded his head as he turned down your road, drumming the steering wheel as he listened to the radio. 
“You and me go fishin' in the dark. Lyin' on our backs and countin' the stars. Where the cool grass grows,” he sang quietly to himself. “Down by the river in the full moonlight. We'll be fallin' in love in the middle of the night. Just movin' slow. Stayin' the whole night through. It feels so good to be with you.”
He glanced over at you where you dozed off against the window. 
This was one of your favorite songs and normally you’d be banging his dashboard in a slightly off beat rhythm but he’d let it slide because you were so excited to hear the song.
He hummed along as he got close to your homes. But as he began to slow down he got an idea. 
So, instead of stopping, Bob drove past your houses and headed towards one of your favorite spots to go to clear your head.
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Bob pulled up to and parked his car before getting out and going over to your side of the car.
He carefully opens the door and you jerk awake. 
“Ah! What the– Bobby, what’s going on?” You asked groggily as you rubbed your eyes.
“I took a detour. I figured you could use a late night trip to our spot,” he said with a playful smile. You gave him a tired smile, “Oh Bobby… thank you.” “Course, now c’mon.”
You giggled, “I can’t wear my cheer shoes, they’ll get dirty.” He grinned and opened the backdoor. “Well, it just so happens that last time we were here, you left your Converses back here.” 
Your jaw dropped, “I have been looking for these! And you mean to tell me that you’ve been keeping my shoes hostage!” He chuckled and knelt down to put them on your feet. 
Heat rose to your cheeks as he did, the action reminding you of when you were both little and you dressed up as a princess all the time and he happily played your knight. “How could you Bobby Floyd?”
“Oh hush,” he laughed as he tied them before helping you up. “Okay, let’s go.” You giggled as you closed the door and followed him to the river side.
You smiled at him as you both laid down. “C,mere Dolly,” he said as he pulled you into his side.
Smiling wider, you laid your head on his chest and sighed a little bit. “Thank you Robby, this really is what I needed.” He gently scratched your back, “I’m glad I could help.” You looked up at him, “My knight…” You trailed off as his moonlit baby blue eyes made eye contact with yours. 
Almost as if you were both on autopilot, you propped yourself up on your elbow and he cupped your cheek. Before either of you realized what was happening, your lips met.
This kiss was sweet and gentle, but it sucked the breath out of your lungs all the same.
It felt like you were connected forever, but when you pulled away it didn’t feel long enough.
Bob had turned bright pink and immediately began to apologize, “I-I– oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have–”
“Robby, Robby!” You cut him off by covering his mouth. “Hey, it’s okay. I kissed you back… I liked it… a lot.” 
He relaxed under your hand at your words and you think he’s gonna say something but he licks your hand. “Oh gross! I was trying to be sweet and you licked me!” You wiped your hand on the hoodie he was wearing. 
Bob chuckled, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He held your wrist gently as he sobered up, “I liked it too. But… I think we should wait, just because I want to make sure you’re ready…” You nodded, “I know, thank you.” You smiled and pecked his cheek. 
Laying beside him, you laced your fingers with his and rested your other hand on your stomach as you looked at the sky.
He smiled at you and watched your smile widened as you pointed to the clear night sky, counting the stars and pointing out constellations. 
The sight made Bob think back to the note in his desk drawer and a smile split his features. 
The note has waited 6 years, it can wait a little while longer.
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hi, hello, thank you all for reading and making it to the end! i hope you enjoyed! and i'm so sorry this is late
top gun taglist <33: @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @sebsxphia @nobody7102 @djs8891 @desert-fern @startrekfangirl2233 @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @mamachasesmayhem @roosterforme @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @callsign-mongoose
sorry if i missed anyone on the taglist, my list in an absolute mess right now 😂
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noramoons · 2 years
Text
seasons (waiting on you).
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pairing: yeonjun x reader, (eventual) taehyun x reader
genre: college au, angst, slight fluff at the end
rating: T/13+
word count: 16.5k (i am so sorry)
warnings: explicit language, one (1) mention of alcohol, descriptions of a breakup, depression and anxiety depictions, mentions of harmful behaviors and thoughts, just so many post-breakup emotions being described for way too long BUT angst with a happy ending :)
summary: when your high school sweetheart choi yeonjun is off to grad school, you aren’t too worried about how your relationship will last—but your favorite coworker, kang taehyun, is.
OR:
a study in the seasons of loving and losing choi yeonjun—and how you put yourself back together afterwards.
playlist: telepath - conan grey, let you break my heart again - laufey, back 2 u (A.M. 01:27) - nct 127, i don’t know you anymore - eric nam, drive - ashton irwin, seasons (waiting on you) - future islands
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I. PROLOGUE. 
Loving Yeonjun was like watching a meteor shower cross the sky. It was beautiful, and you considered yourself blessed to have been able to see it with your own eyes—but like everything else in life, it was inevitable that it had to end. 
And it ended too soon.
You still remember the day he transferred to your high school—everyone had practically stared as he walked down the hallway, beaming politely at the people at he passed on his way to his first class. He was like a celebrity almost instantly, and not just because he was a transfer student—Choi Yeonjun was beautiful, and jaw-droppingly so, at that. 
You ended up having two classes with him, to the mostly-pretend envy of your friends. They did all say that they would be far too nervous to even try to talk to someone like Choi Yeonjun, but you didn't feel that way. He was stunningly handsome, certainly—but he was still just a high schooler like you. You didn't feel intimidated by him in the same way that your friends clearly did. 
So one day you offered to help him with Mrs. Jung's pre-calculus homework—she was a notoriously difficult math teacher, but this was the second year you'd had her. You knew what to expect with her by that point. You didn't, however, know what to expect with your offer towards Yeonjun—it was just a passing remark you made at the end of class that you would be more than happy to give him some pointers on how to pass her quizzes if he ever needed them. Nothing too serious. 
But he'd looked up at you. Blinked. And then smiled, meeting your gaze with those soft bright eyes that practically made you melt right then and there in that classroom. "Thank you," he'd said, as genuine a thank you as you'd ever heard.  "I'd love that. Could I ask you for another favor, actually?" 
You weren't entirely sure what he was going to say next, but you nodded anyway, despite your gut telling you no. 
"Can you tell me some good places to eat here? My family just moved—you know that, obviously, but I'm getting kind of tired of takeout every single night. So if you have any recommendations that, um...aren't chain restaurants, I'd appreciate it a lot." He had laughed slightly nervously after that. 
Something fluttered within your chest. Oh. Choi Yeonjun, for all his good looks and charming attitude, was kind of awkward, too. 
It just made you melt even more. 
You did end up telling him the best local places to eat in your city, surprising yourself with your own bravery when you told him you wouldn't mind showing them to him yourself sometime—and he replied with that reassuring smile once again. "I'd love that, too," he'd said. 
You'd exchanged numbers, but you didn't really think anything would come of it—it was always possible that Yeonjun had just been polite, after all. He surprised you once again, though, with a text that weekend asking to meet him at the breakfast bar you had recommended. 
Just me? you'd asked. 
Yeonjun had responded within minutes. Just you. 
On Saturday, you stressed for nearly an hour over what to wear, trying on combination after combination of outfits. Everything you had was too old (there's a difference between vintage and gross). Too new (trying too hard, much?). Too short (what will he think of you?). Not short enough (did you time-travel in from the 1800s?). But eventually, you settled on something that was just slightly above casual wear and made your way to the restaurant to be ten minutes early.
Yeonjun was there before you, giving you a small wave when you pushed open the door to the restaurant. You'd thought someone as cool in appearance like him wouldn't be the kind of person to get somewhere super early, even earlier than you—bur Choi Yeonjun seemed to be the kind of person who just kept surprising you. His outward appearance that made nearly everyone you knew practically fall at his feet clearly wasn't all there was to him. 
You learned quite a bit more about Yeonjun that day, and you'd continue to learn more when he asked you to meet him for lunch again later that week. He wanted a dog, but the apartment he was living in with his family wouldn't allow it. He listened to just about every kind of music you'd ever heard. He was a good, genuine kind of listener, hanging on your every word whenever it was your turn to speak. It was a little detail, but you would've been lying if you said it hadn't made your heart beat faster every time you noticed it. 
It wasn't until the third outing that you finally gathered up the courage to ask him what had been on your mind since that very first invitation. "Yeonjun?" you asked, almost stuttering on his name as it passed your lips. Get it together. 
He looked up from his bowl of noodles. "Mmm-hmm?"
"Is this, um...is this a date?" 
He only hesitated for an instant. "Is that okay? I mean," he had started, trying to hold your gaze, "would you want it to be?"
You nodded, maybe too quickly. "I would."
The grin that instantly tugged the corners of his lips immediately melted any insecurities you'd had away. That was always what being around Yeonjun was like—he just set you at ease. 
You felt that same way a month later, when you'd agreed to meet him at an art museum downtown that you'd mentioned wanting to go to. He'd led you through the halls, warm hand in yours, gazing at the different paintings hung on the walls together—different expressions of love and hate and sorrow and every expression that man could expel into a paintbrush. 
Well—you had been staring at the medley of colors and brush strokes on the painting directly in front of you. Yeonjun, unbeknownst to you, hadn't taken his eyes off you since you'd walked into this particular room. "I have something to tell you," he'd said. "I...I don't like beating around the bush with these kinds of things."
You turned to face him at the sudden declaration. Your heart was pounding against your chest loud enough that you wondered if Yeonjun could hear it, but you swallowed down your nervousness and nodded. 
He took your silent reply as confirmation to keep going. "I like you," he said, never looking away from your eyes for an instant. "I want to keep going out with you, if that's something you want." 
You remember thinking that Yeonjun had to have been able to hear how loud your heart was from inside your chest—you'd never felt that kind of nervous excitement before in your life. Still, you managed to nod again, smiling softly at his words. "I'd really like that too, Yeonjun. Because I like you too." 
He'd beamed at you, looking at you like you were the only thing in the room, as if you were a piece of art to be marveled at despite the awe-inspiring works surrounding both of you—and you returned that grin as much as you could. 
And now you're here, years away from that day where you and Yeonjun had both confessed. It's like everything has fallen into place just like it was meant to. 
It's the longest relationship you've ever been in, not to mention the first long-term relationship you've ever had, and you've been fascinated by the way it has evolved. Seeing Yeonjun when you walk into a room doesn't fill you with nervous excitement anymore; rather, it calms you down, simply grounding you with his presence. You don't feel nervous about bringing your concerns to him, worried about what he might think about  you when you overanalyze the conversation afterwards—instead, you take comfort in the fact that he brings his concerns to you, too. He loves you. And you love him. 
You'd spent a year apart when he had graduated high school before you, but you'd promised with teary eyes as you helped him move into his college dormitory that you'd keep this going if that was what he wanted. "Don't, um...don't forget about me while you're having fun at college," you'd quipped in the parking lot right before you left. It was a joke (mostly), but Yeonjun had heard the worry in your voice. He'd smiled at you then, just like he had all those years ago. 
"Of course," he'd said, holding you tightly to his chest in an attempt to not betray any of his own worries about the next year. "You'll have to try a little harder to get rid of me, I hope you know." 
You did know—there was never any doubt in your mind that he loved you just as much as you loved him. Yeonjun had always kept his promises, and that year apart didn't change a thing. He made sure the two of you FaceTimed at least once a week, even during his exam seasons, and both of you always sent a goodnight, i love you text every day, even if it was the only thing you said to each other that day. You'd surprise him occasionally, making a trip up to his university to visit and spoil him all weekend, taking him wherever he wanted to eat, and he'd do the same to you on weekends he could come home. 
You had been so proud of both of you for keeping that relationship alive for the year you were apart, and Yeonjun was overjoyed when you told him you'd gotten into the university he was currently attending. It wasn't long before you were side-by-side every day once again, just like you'd been in high school, and you were still just as in love as you were back then. 
Yeonjun is remarkably smart—but you knew that already, knew it even when you offered to help him with pre-calculus back in high school. That's why it doesn't surprise you when he's able to graduate college early, on top of getting multiple grad school offers for his Master's degree. He takes you with him to tour the schools he's looking at, even though he knows you won't be there for a while—you're as much a part of his decision-making-process as he is. You'd waited for him in that interval before you'd gone to college—you can wait for him here, too.
Being with Yeonjun was like a dream, all of it. 
You suppose you had to wake up eventually.
II. FALL
It surprises you when those seeds of doubt begin to sow themselves in your mind. It's been three months since Yeonjun has left for grad school across the country, but you can count the number of times he's called to check on you on both hands. You know you aren't the same lovesick teenagers you were when he had gone off for college and left you for a year in high school, but you had thought that it wouldn't be that different.
But a good relationship is nothing without communication—you and Yeonjun haven't made it work this long without reminding each other occasionally to keep in touch. So you send him a quick text. 
< everything going okay? miss u <33
You don't have time to wait around for his reply, though—your shift at the university library starts in just under thirty minutes, so you decide you'd better go ahead and head that way.
Your coworkers are all lounging against the front desk when you clock in, clipping your nametag underneath your collar. "What's so funny?" you ask, tilting your head at their sudden giggling. 
Taehyun points towards the study corrals. "Kai's drooling." 
"I am not," Kai interrupts, frowning. "I..."
He trails off as a girl walks out of one of the study corrals, pulling her headphones out of her tote bag before placing them delicately over her ears, smiling softly as her music starts before she heads for the doors. 
You share a knowing glance with Taehyun, who smirks at you. He's been a close comfort as you've started university—you feel blessed to get along with all your coworkers, but Taehyun is someone you've meshed with practically right from the start. Your majors are in the same department, so you've had quite a bit of overlap with your required classes—you and Taehyun have already spent many a day off together back in the library, comparing notes and cramming for quizzes together. He's a much better note-taker than you, which is slightly aggravating, but your memory is better than his, so you usually remember class material better than he does. It's an unusual equivalent exchange between the two of you, but you're both pleased with how well it's worked so far. Not to mention how easy he is to spend time with—you swear your study sessions with Taehyun almost always feel like minutes instead of hours. It reminds you, sometimes, of how your first few dates with Yeonjun had gone (this, of course, is a thought you squash the moment it appears). 
"Oh, my God," Kai says, practically groaning even as you and Taehyun giggle at him. "She's so cute. What am I going to do?" 
Taehyun turns to you, smirking. "What do you think? Think he's got a chance?" 
You raise both your hands in mock self-defense. "Hey, this is all between Kai and that girl. Besides, I'd never date a coworker. Just gets too messy, you know?" 
Beomgyu pokes his head out from organizing the storage closet behind you. "Aren't you literally dating Yeonjun?"
You scoff. "I'll have you know I was dating Yeonjun long before he worked here. Or before I worked here, either." Yeonjun had only worked at the university library his first year, but he'd gotten along really well with Soobin, one of the managers, and putting in a good word for you certainly didn't hurt when you had told him you were looking for a job at the start of the school year.
Beomgyu makes a face. "Well. Shady application or not—you're reshelving the architecture textbooks upstairs since you're almost late." 
You aren't late, actually—you've clocked in five minutes early, but you don't quite have the energy for getting into a mostly-pretend argument with Beomgyu today. So you offer him a wink before grabbing a handful of architecture textbooks from the desk and heading upstairs to the art section. 
You pass several couples studying together on your way up to the third floor. Only a few are really studying, though—most have notebooks and laptops spread out, sure, but just about every other couple on a study date of their own is putting much more emphasis on the date part, rather than the study part. 
Not that you blame them at all—you and Yeonjun used to do the same thing. You remember plenty of study sessions where you'd gaze up from your computer to find Yeonjun taking a silly candid photo of you before you'd scoff, playfully begging him to delete it (which he would never do—you look too cute so focused like that, he'd say). But you always saw them later when he made them the lockscreen on his phone. 
You wonder what his lockscreen is now, you think absentmindedly as you haul several books onto one shelf. It's been months since you saw him or his phone. At that thought, you glance down at your own phone tucked into your jeans pocket to see if he's sent you any kind of response to your message earlier—but your notification screen is just as empty as it was the last time you checked. 
Those seeds of worry dig themselves deeper. 
But you tell yourself again not to worry. There's no point—you and Yeonjun have been through plenty together. You know you have no idea how busy and stressful graduate school must be, but you're sure you'll hear all about it the next time you see Yeonjun. 
It's the same thing you tell yourself when you get in your car to go back to your apartment once your shift ends, checking your phone once again to see an empty screen. 
And again tomorrow morning, when your notification screen is still blank (aside from the outdated memes Soobin is spamming your work groupchat with) on your way to class. 
There's no doubt about it now. Those seeds are planted. You're worried. 
But, as it turns out, only for a few hours—because you do finally, finally receive a reply from Yeonjun halfway through your shift at the library, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest in a way it hasn't in years when you finally see his name pop up at the top of your notifications. 
> hey! 
> can you talk soon? 
You look around the library. It's a Friday night—hardly anyone on campus is studying, but Soobin has still scheduled you, Taehyun, and Kai for tonight—you're practically over-staffed, so you're sure he won't mind if you step outside for a quick moment. 
You make your way towards the chemistry section, where Soobin is currently organizing some kind of midterms display. "Hi," you say, sweetly. 
He turns his head to face you, suspicion tugging at the corners of his eyes. "Hi," he repeats, slowly. "What's up?" 
"Mind if I step outside really quick? I have to make a call." 
Soobin narrows his eyes, and you know he's onto you. But he still gestures towards the door with his head before tapping on his wristwatch. "Just make it quick, alright?"
You nod way too quickly. "You got it," you say, beaming at him before practically dashing for the doors, pulling up Yeonjun's contact information on your phone and calling him immediately. 
He picks up on the third ring. "Hey," he starts.
"Hi," you respond, trying not to sound too terribly excited to hear his voice. "How's school going?"
He hums. "It's alright, I guess. You?" God, he sounds tired—you'll have to come up with something really nice to surprise him with the next time you see him. You're not sure what his favorite restaurants are in his new city, but you can ask around with his friends—you're sure he has plenty already. He's always been that way—that charm of his had certainly worked on you too, after all.
So you make a similar hum of agreement. "It's okay so far. I really miss you, Jjun." 
There's a strange pause after those words—as if you and Yeonjun had a script for your conversations, and he had lost his. You had fully expected him to return the sentiment, just like he always had before. Instead, you hear him take a breath. "Do you have time to talk, Y/N?"
The seeds of worry are back, digging themselves deeper and insisting on growing roots within your head. "Um...sure," you manage to get out, trying to ignore the sudden panic clawing at the bottom of your stomach. 
He sighs, and there's a long space of time before he continues. "...I really wish I could see you. You deserve this in person at least, you know? But...fuck, there's no easy way to do it, I guess. I—I don't think we should do this anymore. Us, I mean—I think we need to be done." 
You aren't sure if you heard him right. There's no, no way your Yeonjun just said...that. "...What?" you say, laughing nervously. "I'm sorry—are you saying we need a break?" 
Yeonjun clears his throat. "No," he says. "Not a break. I don't think that would be fair to either of us. I think we need to be done." 
Blindsided doesn't even begin to cover how you feel. You feel like Yeonjun has just dumped a bucket of ice water over your head through the phone. "Yeonjun—you're breaking up with me?" 
He takes a moment to reply. "Yeah, Y/N. I am. And I'm so, so sorry, I—"
"Over the phone?" you sputter, indignant tears blooming at the corners of your eyes. "You're ending a four and a half year relationship...over a phone call?" 
You can't see him, but you know the wince he's making, judging by the sound of the sigh that leaves his mouth. "I told you, I would've had to fly out to come see you—and I figured you probably wouldn't have let me stay the rest of the weekend at your place afterwards," he says, laughing awkwardly. "I'm too broke as it is these days anyway." 
You just can't believe what you're hearing. This is a nightmare. It has to be. "So...what?" you choke out, brushing back tears threatening to fall from the corners of your eyes. "Did I...do something?" 
"Oh, God, no," Yeonjun says hurriedly, and the concern in his voice is genuine. You know what that sounds like, at least. "Honestly. You didn't do anything, Y/N—it's my fault. I let this relationship grow static, and I let myself fall into a routine—and I just sort of stopped feeling the way I had before. I should have done this before, but I was too much of a coward, and I'm so, so sorry—I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I hope you can forgive me. Maybe we can be friends, one day." 
A long time passes before you answer. "One day," you repeat. "But not now." 
He lets out a short laugh. "I didn't think you'd want to be friends now." 
"I...fuck, Yeonjun," you say, nervous and shocked laughter escaping your throat. "I don't want this to be over at all. There's...there's no way this just came out of nowhere." 
He hums apprehensively. "I don't know what else I can say. It's the truth—I just let myself become bored with the relationship, and that's my fault. I should have tried harder a long time ago, and for that, I...I really am sorry." 
"I—I guess I just don't see why it isn't too late to try now," you stammer. "Why?"
"...Y/N, I don't want to try now, anymore," he whispers, and it's only then that you really get what he's been trying to tell you all along. He's done with you—whatever he felt for you all those years ago when you whispered your mutual confessions in that quiet art gallery, is gone. 
Yeonjun does not love you anymore. How you feel about him doesn't matter. 
It takes several uncomfortable beats of silence before you speak again. "Okay," you say, voice shaking. "Okay. I get it. G...goodbye, Yeonjun." 
He lets out a shaky sigh of his own. "Goodbye, Y/N. I'm so—"
But you hang up before he can say anything else. You don't want to hear another word from him now. You're trembling as you end the call, sliding your phone back into your back pocket. You're going home—there's no fucking way you can make it through the rest of your shift after this. You walk back inside as calmly as you can, sliding your nametag off your collar and placing it on the desk. 
Taehyun hasn't quite turned around to see you when you do so. "Oh, Y/N, you won't believe what Kai just sent—huh?" He frowns, finally noticing your nametag on the front counter. 
"Can you, um...can you tell Soobin when he gets back that I'm going home? I'll come early on Saturday, I'll do whatever he needs me to do to make up for this time, but I really need to go home." You absolutely cannot, under any circumstance, let them see you like this—especially not Taehyun, your favorite coworker. You don't think he'd ever let you hear the end of it. 
His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," you say, way, way too quickly to be nothing. "I'm sick. I...I-I'll see you guys on Saturday, okay?" You turn around and walk towards the library doors as fast as you can, practically making a beeline for the doors—but you aren't fast enough to not hear the familiar sound of Taehyun unclipping his own nametag and slamming it on the desk behind you. 
"Kai, tell Soobin I'm feeling sick, too. I'll call Beomgyu to come cover for me for the rest of this shift." 
"You...what?" Kai practically splutters, leaning over the front counter to call after the both of you. "What the hell's wrong with you two?" 
You have to make it to the car. You can have the breakdown you so desperately need in there, but you are not going to sob your eyes out right outside the university library. 
Taehyun, however, apparently isn't going to let you do either. "Y/N," he says behind you once the two of you are outside, grabbing hold of your bicep. "What's going on? What's wrong? Please—just talk to me."
You shake your head. "Taehyun, please, I just need to go home. I'm going to have a fucking meltdown right on the street if you don't at least let me get to my car," you sputter, voice trembling as you try to keep the tears at bay. 
But Taehyun shakes his head too. "No. We can go in my car. You said you parked in the guest lot today because you were almost late. Remember?"
You do remember—and at this point, you don't care enough to argue with him. So you nod in agreement, following him into the lot in a walk that has to be the longest minute and a half of your life. Once you're in Taehyun's car, though, shutting the passenger door behind you, you can't fight the tears prickling at your eyes anymore. 
"Hey—hey, talk to me, Y/N. Please. What's going on?" 
You shake your head, burying your head in your hands to try to muffle your sobs. "He broke up with me, Tae," you manage to choke out, even though the verbal confirmation of what just happened just makes you cry harder. 
"He—what? The fuck? Yeonjun?" 
"Who else?" you snap back, voice shaking. "He said we've...grown apart since he moved away. That he doesn't love me anymore. But I still love him, Taehyun," you sniff, tears tracking down your face and slipping into your open mouth in what must be an absolute mess to behold. "What am I supposed to do?"
If Taehyun thinks you look a mess, though, he doesn't tell you. "Fuck...Y/N, I'm so, so sorry," he starts, gently. "I know that doesn't mean anything—but I really am."
You shake your head. "No. It does mean something." 
He gestures towards his backseat. "If you want to beat up my backseats, go for it. I've done that after a few shitty shifts before—it can be pretty cathartic." 
But you just shake your head again, sniffling. "I just want to go home, Taehyun. Please." 
He just nods, turning the keys in the ignition before reaching into the center console in his car to grab an envelope of tissues, taking several and handing them to you. "In case you need these." 
You sniff again. "Thank you," you say, even though you know you're nowhere near done crying about this. 
You don't live too far from the university, so Taehyun's pulling into the parking lot of your apartment building before you know it. Your apartment is only on the second floor, and there's a set of stairs outside, so Taehyun is able to park almost right below your apartment. He turns to face you again. "This is you, right?" 
You nod. "Yes. Thank you, Tae." 
He glances for a moment at your door before looking back at you, worry etched on his features. "You want some time to yourself? I can come back tomorrow if you want me to check on you." 
Normally, you think, you'd say yes. You'd want to go finish crying by yourself and getting it all out of your system right before you force yourself to fall asleep—but you think about your apartment. You think about the hoodies in your closet, the pictures adorning your shelves, the stuffed animals on your bed—Yeonjun is everywhere in your apartment. You can't face these remainders of him alone.
So you shake your head. "No, I...um, can you come inside, please? You don't have to stay, I just don't know if I can—"
But Taehyun doesn't let you finish, turning off the car's ignition and opening his door, immediately walking around to open yours. Normally, you'd make some quip here about chivalry not being dead, but you can't find the energy within yourself to make anything of the sort. 
You make your way up the stairs before unlocking your door and making your way to your bedroom, trying to avoid the onslaught of photos of you and Yeonjun in the living room before collapsing onto your bed, covering your face in your pillows and sobbing the way you wanted to earlier. You hardly even notice Taehyun beside you, rubbing small circles on your back while you soak the pillowcase below you, chest heaving with hiccups in between sobs. 
You don't turn around to face him until you feel like you've emptied every tear in your eyes, now red and puffy as you catch your breath. 
Taehyun frowns at the state of you, finally moving his hand away from the small of your back. "Where are your washcloths?" he asks. 
What? "Um...o-on the rack beside the shower," you say, gesturing towards the bathroom in the hallway. 
You're perplexed when he leaves, even more so when you hear the sound of the sink running, but he's back in an instant with a wet cloth, sitting back down beside you on your bed. He hesitates for an instant. "For your cheeks," he says, tapping his own. "It'll feel better." 
Oh. "Thanks," you say, somewhat lamely, before taking the washcloth from his hands. It's warm, you realize, and he's right—it does feel nice on your tear-stained cheeks, especially under your now-puffy eyes—a gentle contrast to the sobs that had racked your entire body minutes ago. 
You set the washcloth down, looking back up at Taehyun, who offers you a reassuring smile—one you've seen plenty of times at the library, when one of you has messed up on organizing a section and had to endure a lecture from Soobin. It's not a bad expression to be on the receiving end of. "Come here," he says, opening his arms, and you let him pull you into his chest without a second thought. It's the first time you've hugged Taehyun, you think absentmindedly—but you suppose that doesn't matter. You're grateful to have him here with you now—you can't imagine how much worse you'd feel alone in your room now. 
He lets you hold onto him for as long as you need, only pulling away when you do. "Did you eat before work?" he asks softly. 
You shake your head. You'd planned on making something from your pantry after your shift, but the thought of getting up and being productive right now feels like a Herculean task. 
Taehyun must be able to see the exhaustion on your face, because he just nods. "That's okay," he says. "I'll order in." 
And he does. You spend the rest of the evening eating takeout from the Thai place down the street on your bed with Taehyun, who stays beside you and makes sure you have a nearly-full glass on your nightstand at all times, to make up for how you'd practically dehydrated yourself sobbing. And you do cry again in the middle of eating dinner, but Taehyun doesn't flinch—he just nestles you in his sturdy arms again until you don't have any tears left to cry. 
He does make a comment about leaving if you'd prefer sometime past midnight, but one look from you causes the rest of the sentence to die on his tongue, and he doesn't say another word about it. 
You wake up in the morning just before noon, and you feel only a single instant pang of panic before you see Taehyun's outstretched limbs on the couch in the living room, chest rising and falling evenly in sleep. You aren't sure when he got up to let you sleep on your own—you hardly even remember falling asleep, but the sight of him causes your heartbeat to even back out for a moment. 
That doesn't last long, though—it's only an instant before your barely-awake mind remembers what had caused him to spend the night in the first place, and you immediately feel that now-familiar twinge of sorrow in your chest. 
And it doesn't go away—no, that feeling hangs heavy in your chest. You know, then and there, that it's going to be a weight you'll carry around for a long time. 
III. WINTER.
You're right on all accounts. 
You never flat out tell the rest of your coworkers what happened between you and Yeonjun, but they must be able to read between the lines—all of them tiptoe around you for weeks. Even Soobin never teases you at work anymore, which you almost miss. You aren't a piece of glass, after all—but with the way that everyone treats you at work, you'd think you were. 
But maybe there's some truth to their treatment. Not a day goes by that you don't think about Yeonjun's words—that he'd basically just gotten bored with you. You know he'd said you hadn't done anything, but you had to have done something for that to occur, right? It didn't make any sense otherwise. 
You are proud of yourself when your track record for "crying over Yeonjun" goes from every day to once a week, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. Just like the love you'd known from him had been something beautiful like you'd never experienced, you've never known anything as painful as this.
So much of your identity before had been being Yeonjun's partner. For Christ's sake, he was the whole reason you'd been able to get this job at the library in the first place—and now you have to distance yourself from that. You have to. You don't have another choice.
At one point, Beomgyu does suggest going out for drinks after work with Soobin. "Everyone's going," he adds gently, as if that will somehow be the thing to convince you to pull yourself out of your mental wallowing. "Won't be as fun without you, though." 
You force a smile across your lips. You do still remember how to do that, right? Smile? "I, um...I'll have to catch you guys next time. I'm busy that night." 
Beomgyu's eyes narrow. "I haven't told you what day we're going out yet, Y/N." 
You wince. "Beomgyu, I—I'm sorry. I really appreciate you trying, but I just don't think I'm there yet. I'm sorry."
He rolls his eyes a little at that. "I think this is exactly what you need right now, personally. We'll make sure you have fun, I promise. So much fun that you won't even think about old what's-his-name the entire night." 
You know good and well that Beomgyu remembers Yeonjun's name, and that he's practically putting on a show to convince you to go get drunk with him and Soobin and God knows who else—but you can't. Not yet. So you turn him down again, and this time he finally relents, taking the hint and leaving to sort through the returned books bin. Going out and getting drunk enough to forget Yeonjun probably is what you need right now—but you know you aren't there yet (Even admitting the 'yet'—the knowledge that you eventually will be at that point, whether you like it or not—is painful). Wanting to forget Yeonjun is accepting that what the two of you had is over, and truth be told, you aren't ready to do that. You're fully in denial—and you know it. 
But that doesn't mean you're in the right state of mind to do anything about it. For God's sake, you haven't even been able to go through the photo album of you and Yeonjun on your phone yet and delete a single photo. The scraps of sanity that still call out to you occasionally within your mind tell you that you need to delete those photos of the two of you, that seeing them later will just make you feel worse—but you can't. Any act of cementing the end of the relationship is still just nothing short of unthinkable to you. 
You're very much a prisoner of your own mind for the rest of the semester, whether or not you're willing to admit it, as you continue replaying Yeonjun's last words to you in your head, over and over. And over. And over. And over again. It's unhealthy—you know that. But you don't stop. You can't stop thinking about what you should have done differently to prevent this. Sure, he'd said you hadn't done anything, but that must have been a polite lie. Something must have happened. Had you been overbearing? Annoying? Had you changed, somehow? Had he? 
Your friends and coworkers all tread lightly around you for the first month or so after the breakup, checking on you occasionally and reminding you that everything will be alright eventually (a lie, you know). Beomgyu gives you the notes from your morning class whenever you skip. Kai covers for you when you call out of work. Soobin looks the other way when you take fifteen minute bathroom breaks (which usually end up with you crying in the stall) and doesn't say a word when you come back, eyes puffier than before. 
But that's exhausting to keep up with—you know that. Everyone becomes less forgiving around the middle of the semester—you still haven't gotten over that guy? What's wrong with you? You're still missing class and falling behind on assignments? Why can't you get a grip? No one says this out loud to you, of course, but you can pick up on the subtext—the implications between a shared glance between Beomgyu and Kai at work when you're almost late, between your friends when you tell them you have to finish an essay that was due yesterday—looks that pierce like a dagger to your stomach. Everyone is sick and tired of you.
Well—almost everyone. Kang Taehyun is a different story altogether. 
You fully expected him to behave like everyone else—why wouldn't he? The two of you were friends, and good friends, at that, before your life as you'd known it had imploded in on itself, but you wouldn't have considered him to be a best friend by any means. Maybe you had missed some kind of memo, though—because if the way he's treated you since Yeonjun broke up with you is any indicator, his feelings towards your friendship are not at all what you'd thought they were. 
Not a day goes by that you don't eat at least two meals a day, and that's because Taehyun is checking on you daily to make sure you've eaten. More than once, he's driven over to your house with food from his pantry to ensure there is something in your apartment to eat. He helps you stay on top of your schoolwork, too—hell, the only reason you even remember to do that essay at all is because Taehyun reminds you. And yet, these reminders never feel like a scolding, or like he's judging or chastising you—rather, it just feels like he's looking out for you. He's the only person looking out for you, you think—maybe even more so than yourself. 
Which is why it surprises you, one cold, melancholy November evening as the two of you walk home from class, when Taehyun suggests talking to Yeonjun again. 
Your eyes widen. "What?" 
Taehyun nods, shifting his shoulders as he adjusts his backpack. "Sure. I...I think it would be good for you to get more closure from the whole thing. That's what's keeping you so upset, isn't it? That you don't really get why he did it?" 
You suppose there's an element of truth to that. You certainly don't understand Yeonjun's actions—but the truth of the matter is that you aren't ready to let him go. You weren't three months ago when he called you, and you still aren't now. The ache in your chest that you've felt for so long hasn't subsided in the least—like a knife that only digs deeper every time you remember it's there. 
But you nod anyway. "Yeah, I...I guess that's part of it. But—I can't just text him, Taehyun. What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Hi Yeonjun! Miss you, hope you haven't been feeling the same soul-crushing loneliness that I have for the past three months?'"
Taehyun winces at that before turning to face forward again, gazing at the sidewalk ahead of you with a sigh. "Maybe not quite like that. But...I don't know. He said he wanted to be friends, right? I don't see why you couldn't at least try."
But you don't want to be friends with Yeonjun—that's been the problem. Not just friends. You want to let yourself love him again, to feel that kind of tenderness and contentment and perfect warmth like you've never felt from another person before. 
But that clearly is no longer an option on the table for you. What Taehyun is suggesting, however, might be. Maybe he's right. Something would be better than nothing with Yeonjun. Wouldn't it? 
This conversation is how you find yourself later that night with your phone on your bed in front of you, fingers shaking slightly over the keypad from the nervous weight you feel at the bottom of your stomach. You've already typed out the entire message. You should just send it. 
< hey, did you mean what you said about being friends? 
God, why are you so nervous? It's not like you don't know the man—for Christ's sake, you spent over four years of your life convinced that you knew just about everything there was to know about Yeonjun. You knew about his favorite flowers, the piercings he wanted to get, how comically tremendous his appetite could sometimes be and how he'd always compliment your cooking, regardless of how you felt about it—but maybe none of that had mattered. You hadn't known that he'd felt bored with the relationship. You'd let that knowledge slip past you, somehow. 
You press send on the message before you can talk yourself out of it, turning your phone over and stepping into the bathroom to take a shower, hoping you can think about something, anything else to hide the bubbles of anxiety floating upwards into your chest at the thought that Yeonjun may have responded already. 
You practically leap out of the shower when you're finished, hair still dripping beads of water down your back as you wrap a towel around yourself, making your way back into your bedroom and grabbing for your phone. 
Your eyes widen. 
> yeah, i did. 
> would you be okay with that? 
The anxiety within your chest dissipates like hot water under the sun, if only for a moment. Your Yeonjun, and the effect he still has on you. 
< yeah, i would. 
His reply comes only a few minutes later. 
> okay. cool :) 
> i actually thought about sending this to you the other day. reminded me of you
[link]
Attached is a link to a YouTube video—a piano rendition of a song you'd listened to all the time (and probably forced Yeonjun to listen to in the process) when you'd first begun dating. It sounds beautiful on piano, the melody a bright cascade of hopeful and energetic sounding chords, and you feel your chest tighten with warmth as the video keeps playing. 
It had made him think of you. 
The warmth you'd felt in your chest before suddenly shifts to a suffocating cold. This is probably a bad idea. Yeonjun saying he wants to be friends probably means just that—that he wants to be friends. Nothing else. You, of course, don't feel that way at all, if the way your heart had soared when you saw his message is any indicator. You're just going to get attached again to someone you know doesn't feel the same way about you. You're only setting yourself up for more heartbreak—part of you knows that. 
But you don't stop yourself from playing the video again, butterflies rushing through your stomach. 
~~~
The weeks leading up to winter break are infinitely better than the beginning of the semester. You're comfortably caught up and staying on top of all your assignments. When Soobin assigns you more hours at the library, you don't utter a word of protest. One of your professors even comments on how much better you've done on this last essay than your first of the semester. 
Taehyun seems pleased to see you in better spirits too. He still checks on you just about every day, but there seems to be less urgency in his messages. He's not as concerned as he was a few weeks ago, and you almost feel a twinge of...something at that thought, not quite regret but not quite disappointment, either—but you brush it away just as quickly. 
Thoughts like those are easy to push away now that you're speaking to Yeonjun again. 
If it was one of your other friends in your situation, you think, you'd probably be concerned with how fast they turned around on their ex-boyfriend, going from being completely, utterly heartbroken to gushing over a cute TikTok he'd sent—but you ignore those thoughts when they come, too. Maybe you are making a bad decision by trying to be friends with Yeonjun, but you can't find it in yourself to care enough to stop. This momentary happiness is worlds away from the unbearable heartbreak you'd felt before, even if it is likely temporary. Besides, there haven't been any repercussions of this choice yet, anyway. 
Yet being the key word. 
A few days before fall break, Soobin approaches you, Taehyun, and Kai in the middle of your shared shift, the three of you definitely doing the work he'd assigned to you and definitely not talking behind the counter about a movie you're making plans to go see after your shifts end. 
Soobin clears his throat, and the three of you jump, turning to face him. He lets out a sigh. "Are all three of you going home for break?" 
You all shake your heads no. 
He perks up a bit at that. "Oh. Okay. Good! The library isn't going to be open all week, but we're still doing limited hours. Would any of you be open to working over the break? It'll be time-and-a-half pay."
Kai suddenly grabs for his phone in his back pocket, even though you don't think you heard it buzz. "Huh—look at that. My mom just texted and said she actually does want me to come home for the break now. Sorry!" 
Soobin makes an exasperated frown, but he doesn't say anything else to Kai, turning to you instead. "Y/N?"
You shrug. "Sure, I can work. I'll be here anyway." 
Taehyun suddenly shifts, standing up a little taller beside you. "Me too. I don't mind." 
Soobin nods. "Okay, great. Thanks, you guys. I'll be here the first day, but the other four days it'll be just you two here. So..." he takes in a slow breath. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay?" 
You can practically feel Taehyun fighting back a grin beside you out of the corner of your eye, and you have to bite your tongue to keep a laugh of your own from escaping you at Soobin's remark. "Okay, boss," you say, bringing a hand to your forehead in an overly enthusiastic salute. "We won't." 
Taehyun and Kai both snort at your words, but Soobin just crosses his arms. "I mean it. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay? Or...anything I wouldn't let either of you do. You know what I mean." He narrows his eyes. 
But you just laugh. "I promise, Soobin. We'll be fine. It's just limited hours, like you said, right? And it'll be over the break. We'll probably be the only ones in the library the whole week. What could go wrong?" 
His frown only deepens at that. "...I don't even think I want to imagine that," he says before walking away, and the three of you only let out giggles once he's out of earshot. Truthfully, as much as you enjoy teasing Soobin with your other coworkers, you really don't think working over the break will be bad at all. 
And in truth, it isn't the working part that ends up being the problem. It's what happens when you're at work. 
To absolutely no one's surprise, the library is completely, utterly dead over the break. You can count on both hands the number of people that walk in for the first three days as you and Taehyun stand behind the counter, chatting quietly until you run out of things to talk about. By noon on Thursday, the two of you are the only people in the library, scrolling on your phones aimlessly with your shoes propped up against the help desk as the soft scratch of classical music plays over the speakers above you. 
You smile when you see you've gotten a message from Yeonjun, opening your messages to see what he's sent now. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Taehyun giving you a knowing smirk in response to the grin tugging at the corners of your mouth—but you can't hide it. You wouldn't dare, you think. 
It's a video of Yeonjun talking, telling you about a baby that kept waving to him on the plane back from his university. His fall break is the same week as yours, so he's going home today to spend the rest of the weekend with his family. 
You take a quick response video, teasing him about his and the baby's apparent shared brain cells before going back to your mindless scrolling. 
Or—you try to, at least. The moment your Instagram feed refreshes, you find yourself staring, unblinking at the first post on your page. 
It's from Yeonjun's account. It's a picture of him at the airport. And he isn't alone. Standing beside him, arms wrapped around his middle with his around their neck, eyes closed and lips turned upward in a practically radiant smile, is a girl. She looks like she's been caught off guard by Yeonjun, but she's not disappointed about it by any means, if the candid joy radiating from her expression is anything to go by. You glance down at his caption. 
thankful for you. 
There's only one comment so far, which you're assuming is from her. 
SO happy to spend this week with u <3
He might as well have put up a neon sign, you think. You know you can't know for sure, but you almost feel like this was directed at you—the caption, at the very least. Yeonjun has a girlfriend. He's moved on from you, in every sense of the phrase. 
Taehyun must have noticed your suddenly expressionless face, because you see him frown across from you out of the corner of your eye. "Everything alright over there?" 
You extend your arm towards him, showing him your phone screen wordlessly. His eyes widen. "Is that...no fucking way. He has a girlfriend?" 
You nod, that all-too-familiar lump in your throat making its presence known once again. "Yeah," you reply, avoiding his stunned gaze. "I guess so." 
Taehyun doesn't look away from you, even after you draw your arm back into your lap. "Y/N," he starts, quietly. Speaking to you the way you'd speak to a wounded animal—gently, but as if you could practically explode at any moment. It almost makes you feel worse. "Are you..." he stops, trailing off before he can even finish the thought before shaking his head. "Do you want to take a break for a minute?" He gestures with his head towards the punch clock on the wall behind the two of you. 
But you shake your head. "No, I...I don't think so," you say. As strange as it seems, you don't feel nearly as upset as you did when Yeonjun had called to break up with you. Seeing that he's already moved on feels like ripping a metaphorical band-aid off. In a way, you sort of needed to see that he's moved on—that your hopes that the two of you could get back together, somehow, were foolish. Maybe this neon sign of an Instagram post is exactly what you needed. 
Taehyun, however, doesn't seem entirely convinced, frown only deepening at your words. "Are you sure? We can get out of here, you know. It's just us in here right now." 
You shake your head again. "No. We've still got nearly another hour—I don't think Soobin would be very happy if he found out we closed the library early just because I flipped out over Yeonjun again," you say, laughing weakly. 
He snaps his fingers at you. "So you admit it! You are flipping out!" 
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms across your chest. "That is not what I—"
But Taehyun is already taking off his nametag, placing it under the counter and grabbing the keys for the front door. He turns around once he's within a few feet of the front door, gazing at you expectantly. "Well? Come on." 
You gesture with your arm at the library before you. "Taehyun, you've got to be joking. We cannot just get up and leave. What if someone needs to come study?" 
He raises an eyebrow at you. "You think someone's going to need to come study? Over fall break? The day of the holiday? Not a chance."
"How are we going to punch out then, smart guy?" you ask indignantly. 
But Taehyun just shrugs. "I'll just tell Soobin tomorrow that we both forgot, and he'll have to enter our punch-out times manually. Shouldn't be a big deal." 
But you narrow your eyes at him. "'Shouldn't be a big deal?' You seriously think Soobin won't find it a bit suspicious that we both just happened to forget to punch out as we were leaving?" 
"Not really. Look..." he says, starting softer this time. "If something happens, I'll take the fall for it. Alright? You need to get out of here." 
You take another glance at the empty, quiet library. It's only an hour early. Maybe Soobin won't find out, somehow, by some miraculous stroke of luck that you know you don't exactly tend to have—but that lump in your throat hasn't gone away since you saw the picture of Yeonjun. So you nod. "Okay," you say, pulling your nametag off and sliding it under the desk beside Taehyun's, an action that wins you a growing smile on the man's face. "Let's get out of here, then." 
You follow him out of the library, watching him lock the door and swallowing the momentary twinge of guilt at his actions. 
Taehyun seems to read your mind, though. He looks up at you once the doors are locked. "Don't chicken out on me now. Okay? I promise. We'll be okay." 
You nod wordlessly. "Let's just get out of here, then." 
He smiles at you—that big ear-to-ear grin that causes nearly all of your worries to dissipate at just the sight. "That's the spirit. Come on. Are you up for going for a drive?" 
"Sure," you say, nodding. Anywhere is better than being here, slowly falling into the trap of your own thoughts that you thought you'd narrowly escaped a month ago. 
So you get in Taehyun's car once again, gazing out the window at the sun slowly lowering against the horizon, oranges and pinks spreading across the sky as if they were deliberate brush strokes from some invisible hands—just as beautiful as those paintings you and Yeonjun had gazed at that day you both whispered your mutual confessions to each other. 
You shove that thought away just as Taehyun parks the car, and you look out the windshield to see where you are. You're at the top of a tall hill, trees around you on all sides as you gaze down at the college town before you. It looks so small from this distance, you think. 
"I've never been here before," you say, turning to look at Taehyun. "I didn't even know this place existed." 
He nods, still looking at the city below the two of you. "Beomgyu took me here once after a really bad shift. Got yelled at by some grad student for not having an extra copy of a textbook for them to loan when they had an exam tomorrow—you know the drill. It's a good spot to clear your head, I think."
You find that you'd have to agree the longer you stare down at the city, thinking about the perspective it affords you. 
"We don't live in a huge college town, compared to some others, but there's still so, so many people down there. You know?" Taehyun says, as if he's reading your thoughts. Again. How is he so good at that? "I don't want you to ever think one person is the only person you could ever be with. That he's the only chance you'll ever get at love—that just can't be possible." 
You know what he means. You even think it's true—you know it is, logically. But that doesn't mean this lingering heartbreak aching in your chest, in your lungs, in your veins, hurts any less. "Damn you, Kang Taehyun," you say quietly. "You make too much sense." 
He laughs at that, finally tearing his gaze away from the city before him and turning to face you. 
But you aren't finished, taking a deep breath before you continue. "I should've never let myself care about someone this much. This—this whole thing," you say, waving your arm in front of you in a vague gesture, "is just so stupid."
He frowns at that. "No," Taehyun says, shaking his head. "This isn't stupid. You're not stupid." 
You shake your head right back. "I let being Yeonjun's partner be my most important trait. It was all I cared about—he was all I cared about. I shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have put him on such a pedestal like that." 
Taehyun mulls your words over for a moment. "Maybe," he says. "But I don't think you should be mad at yourself for loving him. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you've learned and grown through the relationship—you'll probably be a better partner in the next one you're in, too." 
That thought still stings—of another relationship, of giving up completely on Yeonjun. Even though he's obviously given up on you. "I just don't know what I did wrong. I have to have done something—a relationship doesn't just end like that. Does it?" Yeonjun had been so many of your firsts—and now, he was the first person to ever break up with you. You'd always been the one in charge of that in the brief relationships you'd had before him, the ones that hadn't left nearly the kind of impact Yeonjun had had on you. 
Taehyun shrugs lightly. "I don't have that much experience, but I can tell you that sometimes that is exactly what happens. People really can fall out of love—of course, that's because of their own feelings. Not usually anything to do with the other person," he adds quickly. "If anything, it says how much more equipped you are to handle a long-term, long-distance relationship than he is. You're the mature one. He's not." 
"Clearly not," you scoff. "I'm still the one crying over him, and he's already moved on. Sounds like he's more mature than I am." 
"That I disagree with," Taehyun counters immediately. "The fact that it's still upsetting you means that the relationship meant something different to you than it did to him—he must not have taken it as seriously as you. And that's his fault." 
You're quiet for a moment after that. The sun has almost completely set now, dusk enveloping the college town before you as the city lights begin to twinkle in the dark. But you still find yourself ruminating. The hollowness you feel now is almost scarier than the heartbreak—you aren't even that sad anymore. Just empty. And you tell Taehyun this. "It still scares me—feeling like I don't know who I am now. I feel like I built up an entire imaginary future with him—and now I don't know what to expect of anything anymore." 
Taehyun takes a breath as he nods. "I know," he says gently. "But the future is always like that. You know? Nothing's ever guaranteed, no matter how much we cling to the things we care about. Still—I want you to know that you're so, so much more than being someone's partner. I think you're incredibly clever, and funny, and smart, and beautiful—don't you dare look at me like that, Y/N," he says, only somewhat teasingly as you raise your eyebrows at that last addition. "I'm serious. It's okay to care about someone, but I want you to know that you are still worth so, so much as your own person. Regardless of whether you're with someone or not."
You wish you had better words to say to Taehyun—poetic, soft words to thank him in the same way that he's comforting you. Instead, you let the silence speak for you, losing yourself to the soft hum of Taehyun's radio and the glittering stars that have finally come out in the sky. It's a comfortable silence, though—and you feel those knots of worry and heartbreak at the pit of your stomach slowly start to untangle themselves. Just a little—but they do nonetheless. 
It's long past nightfall when Taehyun finally drives you home, telling you goodnight and looking like there's more that he wants to say, even as he drives away—but you find yourself content in the moment anyway, even when you get ready for bed and slip under your covers.
But that doesn't mean the pain has gone away entirely. 
Taehyun had told you to call him if you started feeling down about the whole situation, but when you wake up in the morning and feel that familiar heavy sorrow in your chest, you don't tell Taehyun a thing. Instead, you let yourself lie on your side and bring your knees up to your chest and weep, burying your face in the pillowcase until it's practically soaked through from your tears. You let yourself cry for yourself—for the version of you who has died, for the Yeonjun you had loved for so long and with such intensity, and for you now who will never again be the person you were before. 
It would be different if the two of you had ended things dramatically, you think—if Yeonjun had cheated on you, or if you had been an unsupportive partner—but none of those things happened. It just ended. And he has already moved on, the way you imagine a normal person does. 
Somehow, you think, that still makes it worse. 
But you think back on what Taehyun had said to you last night, even as you brush away the tears staining your cheeks. Choi Yeonjun is not the only person in the world—it doesn't make sense to think of him as the only person who could ever love you. Yes, your relationship coming to an end still hurts like nothing you've ever experienced before—but already you can feel that ache subsiding, even if those moments are few and far between. Yeonjun had fully severed what was left of the two of you, but it now feels to you like it was necessary. Like it was something you needed—the beginning of a new path for you. 
~~~
The rest of the semester goes by in a blur after fall break. You're so caught up in the mess of finals and work that you barely have time to think about anything else, let alone what's left of your feelings towards Yeonjun. 
If Soobin knows about you and Taehyun closing early and conveniently forgetting to punch out, he never says a word—but you do work considerably more hours than usual in the weeks leading up to your final exams. Soobin says it's the busiest time of the year for the library, so he needs all hands on deck to help all the students coming in and out. Which you do believe—but you still have a sneaky feeling that you and Taehyun are working more than Beomgyu and Kai. 
You wonder if your professors are all in some kind of secret conspiracy to make their students suffer as much as possible, since all five of your exams are stacked over the course of three days. You survive, even after pulling an all-nighter to prepare, which does mean that you should be able to relax at the end of the week while your other coworkers are still cramming. On Friday, though Beomgyu and Kai still have one last final, which is why you and Taehyun both find yourselves working a double to cover for them while they take their exams. It's a long shift, full of snappy students and an exhausted Soobin—by the time 10 p.m. finally rolls around, you feel yourself on the verge of collapsing as you clock out with Taehyun. 
Your favorite coworker raises an eyebrow at your exhausted state. "You alright?" he asks, tapping at his shirt collar before extending a hand to you. 
Your nametag. Christ, you'd almost forgotten. You sigh, nodding as you slip your nametag off of your shirt before placing it in Taehyun's waiting palm, who then moves to slide it under the front counter with his and your other coworkers' tags. "You mean you don't feel like you're about to pass out after that? I thought today would never end."
He laughs a little as the two of you walk towards the front door. "Sure I do. But you saw what Kai sent in the work chat, right? He and Beomgyu are going out later tonight now that they're done with finals. Of course, I'm not sure if that means they feel like they did good or bad, to be honest—but I guess we'll know when we get there. I told them I'd meet them once we were done with work."
You laugh too, pulling your car keys out of your pocket now that you're only a few feet from your respective vehicles. "Yeah, I saw it. But you guys can go ahead—I think I need to turn in early tonight. I'll see you all after the break, okay?" 
The look on Taehyun's face fades a little, and he stops walking right in front of your cars. "Are you sure? It might be fun—you know how funny Beomgyu gets." 
You stop walking too, standing beside him. The thought of tipsy Beomgyu does bring back fond memories of work parties past—the occasion where he tried to convince everyone to jump into a pool, fully clothed, at the house party where you all barely knew the owner was a particularly fun one—but you don't feel up for it tonight. So you shake your head. "No—I'm too tired, Taehyun. But you all have fun, seriously. Just be safe, alright?" You wink at him teasingly. 
But he doesn't return the gesture. Rather, an unusual look washes over his face—an expression of determination that you aren't sure you've ever seen from him before. "You're going home tomorrow, right?" he asks suddenly. 
You nod. "Yeah, I'm spending the break with my parents. Why?" 
Taehyun visibly swallows before he opens his mouth again to speak. You feel a sudden uneasiness develop in the pit of your stomach just before you hear him say "I'm telling you now, then. I like you, Y/N." Suddenly. Just the way Yeonjun had in that art museum all those years ago. 
The two of you are outside, but you suddenly feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the parking lot you're standing in. You blink. "What?" 
He nods, gaze unwavering from yours. "I like you." 
He's joking. He has to be. Either that, or you really did pass out in the library earlier, and this is all some kind of dream. "...You like me," you repeat, slowly. A short laugh escapes you before you can stop yourself. "What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly what I said," he says. "I know this is a pretty terrible time to tell you this, but—"
"Yes," you say, practically unable to believe what you're hearing. "Yes, Taehyun, this is a terrible time to tell me—God, why would you tell me this?" 
"Because it's true," he replies almost instantly. "And I'm not telling you because I want you to say the same thing. You don't have to say anything, actually, I...I just wanted you to know." 
Your heart sinks to your chest at that. "So, you...you'd confess to someone who you know won't reciprocate? Why?" 
Taehyun shakes his head. "I'm not telling you because I want anything to happen. Not right now, anyway—I'm not that stupid. I think." He tries to laugh, but the sound doesn't quite come out right. "I just want you to know, in case you ever feel the same way." 
In case you ever feel the same way. He doesn't think you like him back. Hell—do you? The thought of romance has been so banned from your mind for the last several months that you haven't even entertained the notion, whether it was Taehyun or anyone else in the world—but you think about that. You think about the way those feelings of tight anxiety in your chest loosen when you see that you're scheduled to work with him, how your heart beats faster when you get a notification on your phone from him—not to mention that evening you'd spent in his car on the hilltop overlooking the city. Those feelings of warmth that ignite within you every time you'd looked over at him that night probably were feelings of attraction. You just haven't been able to even entertain this thought, of liking someone else, in ages. You almost can't ever remember when—and that frightens you. "I...I think I do feel that way, though," you say. "I care about you, Taehyun. So, so much. You've been the only person I could depend on for the last three months, but...but I think you deserve better than this. God, you should know better than anyone that I'm nowhere near being over Yeonjun. That I'm in no state to even think about dating someone right now." You laugh, tone dripping with self-deprecation. "I'm a mess. I barely even remember what those feelings are even like. You have to know that anything I do in this mental state now would just be a rebound, even if I didn't want it to be, and I...I don't want to do that to you." 
Taehyun nods quickly, taking a step closer. "You're not a mess. But I do know how you feel—which is why I wanted to tell you. You don't have to do anything about it now if you don't want to," he says again. "I just wanted you to know." 
You shake your head, surprised to feel sudden tears of frustration brimming at the corners of your eyes. "God...Taehyun, please don't do this to me," you whisper, holding back a sniff. He's close enough to you that he can hear, even at this volume. "I don't want to lose you too." Things will never be the same between the two of you—you know this as well as you know your own name. No matter how much the two of you try to awkwardly dance around each other from now on, you'll never forget that you had this conversation. You can never go back to just being friends. 
But Taehyun shakes his head fervently. "You won't lose me," he says, voice unwavering before he makes a slight move to reach for your hand out of instinct before stopping himself. "Not if you don't want to. I'll stick around for as long as you want me to." 
You grab his hand anyway, even as he looks up at you in shock. "So...what? You'd wait for me?" you say, laughing quietly. "I can't ask that of you. That isn't fair to you." 
He just shakes his head again. "If you want me to, I will. I'll wait as long as you need me to—I'm telling you, I don't mind."
You scoff a little at that before you can stop yourself. "You say that now, but I...I have no idea when I'll feel ready to think about being with anyone again. I'm sorry, Taehyun—but I don't know how long this could take. You know? I mean, I'd hope it wouldn't be years," you say, laughing hollowly, "but I just have no idea. And I just don't understand why you would do this—wait for me. I mean...look at you," you say, laughing nervously as you gesture vaguely towards his figure. You haven't thought about him in that way before—or maybe you haven't let yourself think of him in that way, you realize now—but you can't ignore the sharp lines of his jaw, the clearly defined strength beneath his sweater—Taehyun is beautiful. There could never be any denying it. "You're perfect, Taehyun. You could have anyone you wanted—certainly someone less fucked up than me. Someone you wouldn't have to wait to be with, I—"
But he just shakes his head. "I most certainly am not perfect—but I just want to see you happy," he replies, voice as calm and steady as ever. You wonder if this is how he imagined this conversation going. "Whether that's with me, or someone else, or on your own—that's okay. And I...you know now. I'd like for it to be with me, if that's possible," he adds, laughing a little, "but if it's not, that's okay too. You just deserve to be happy, and I want to see that happen for you." 
You let his words hang in the air between the two of you for a long, long time. The only sound in the entire parking lot is the occasional soft jangling of your keys when a gust of wind passes by. 
He'd wait for you. 
"...I really don't know how long it will be until I can think about this," you say again, breaking the momentary silence. 
But Taehyun just nods, gently squeezing your hand. You'd almost forgotten your fingers were still interlaced with his. "I'm telling you, that's okay. I'll wait as long as you want until you want to talk about this again—and if you don't want it to go any further, it doesn't have to. I just...just wanted you to know how I felt, regardless." 
You nod. Before you can say anything else, though, Taehyun's phone rings from his back pocket, loudly interrupting the two of you in the otherwise empty parking lot. 
He turns slightly to glance down at it, and makes a face when he sees who it's from. "It’s Kai," he says softly. "They must be wondering where I am."
"Go ahead," you say just as quietly, gesturing with your free hand towards his car. "It's okay. I...I need to think, anyway." 
Taehyun keeps his gaze on you for a moment, mind clearly racing through a thousand different responses as he sets his mouth in a worried line—but eventually he nods. "Okay," he says, finally letting go of your hand. "I...I'll see you after break, then."
You nod wordlessly. 
His words still echo in your mind, even as he gets in his car and offers a small wave your way. 
He'd wait for you. It's more than you could ever ask for. At the same time, however, you realize that it's an admission to yourself—admitting that getting over Yeonjun is still going to be a long, difficult path to walk. 
And when you're finally left in the parking lot by yourself, you find that you feel more alone than you have in a long, long time. 
~~~
The winter holidays go by at a snail's pace. All you want to do is sleep off the fresh heartache your conversation with Taehyun has caused and do practically nothing all break—but you find yourself hilariously bored on your fourth day of doing "nothing." 
Your parents are uncharacteristically lenient of your behavior—they used to never let you sleep in this late, especially if you were home from school after not seeing you for so long—but you know they know about you and Yeonjun breaking up. Your mother had been particularly fond of him, too. Maybe that's why she doesn't say a word when you go to bed early every night. 
It's ridiculously hard to keep your mind off of Yeonjun over the holidays—couples are everywhere. Nearly every holiday movie seems to revolve around a romance, not to mention all the ones in real life that you can't stop seeing. Your friends post about spending the week with their partner's families, about seeing the other's hometown for the first time, of a surprise and sudden engagement from one of your cousins and their long-time girlfriend—it's enough to make you sick. You know that's a horrible thing to think at such happy occasions for the people you know, but the thought forms itself anyway. 
Every time you feel like you've taken a step forward towards healing, towards finally, finally getting over him—you see something that sends you reeling back into that heartache and sorrow, sending you ten steps back from where you'd been. It's a vicious cycle, and as much as you beg for it to end—it doesn't. Not yet. 
Because Yeonjun haunts you in your home, too. It's hard to set up decorations with your parents without thinking about how you did this last year with him—how he had held onto your waist as he reached around you into the box of tinsel, how your mother had beamed at him as he'd helped her cook, how angelic he had looked as the two of you walked around your neighborhood looking at the different lights each house had set up. They were such beautiful memories, at the time—had only made you feel more confident and cemented in your relationship with Yeonjun as each one passed. You'd hadn't ever imagined a future without him. And now you can't help but wonder if he had already felt dissatisfied with you in each of those moments. 
But as unrelenting as those memories are, so is the passing of time—because you survive the winter holiday season, somehow, even with your shattered heart. Your plan is to move back into school right after the new year, which is how you end up at home on New Year's Eve. Your parents have already gone to their rooms to sleep by the time eleven o'clock strikes on the clock, and as hard as you try, you can't help but think about the fact that this is your first New Year's Eve in years that you'll be alone for. 
Or so you think, anyway. The instant you see your phone screen display 12:01 A.M., it buzzes. It's a message from Taehyun. 
> happy new year, y/n
The new year. 
Everything has hurt so badly for months—like a wound that refuses to form a scab, because you won't let it. You're the one who won't put the bandage over the cut, who keeps digging the blade into the metaphorical wound that was you and Yeonjun every time you think about him. 
But what's the alternative? Moving on? Accepting that your relationship with Yeonjun is over? That what had been the happiest years of your life up until now are through? It's unthinkable. It's unfair to that version of you who had loved him with all of your heart to just throw them away—to just lock the door and never look back. 
But it's what you have to do, you realize. You won't ever feel any better until you can accept that you and Yeonjun are done, for good—and Taehyun is offering you a way out. This is the ending of what you've known up until now—but a chance to finally, finally start anew. To put the past behind you and try again. 
< happy new year, taehyun.
IV. SPRING.
The spring semester hardly gives you a moment to breathe. 
You vaguely remember signing up for classes right before fall break—but those weeks were such a blur that you neglected to realize this spring would be your first semester in upper division courses. In other words—you're drowning in schoolwork with scarcely an instant to yourself, let alone to sort out your lingering feelings. 
And in the moments that you do have time to breathe, Yeonjun always seems to find a way to sneak to the forefront of your mind. But these recollections aren't always as painful as they were before. In one instance, you feel a wave of relief wash over you—but only for the single instant that it provides you comfort—when you remember turning down Yeonjun's offer to buy each other promise rings before he'd first left for college. 
He'd pointed at them in a jewelry store the two of you had wandered into while walking downtown together. "What do you think?" he'd asked, winking. 
You'd laughed. "Yeah, right. I hear getting engaged right after high school never ends up going badly for anyone." 
But he'd shaken his head immediately. "Not engaged," he'd corrected gently. "They're promise rings. It's a promise to you, from me. And from you to me—that we'll wait for each other, and only each other, until we're both ready. No matter what happens." 
Your heart had fluttered at the sudden declaration, cheeks flushing pink before you could stop them—but you had thought even then that it seemed like an awfully rash thing to commit to for a relationship of barely over a year. "That's...unbelievably romantic, Jjun," you'd admitted. "Even for you. Have you done something?" you'd teased, narrowing your eyes at him. 
He'd gasped, putting his hands above his head in mock surrender. "I most certainly have not. Can't I just be a hopeless romantic every once in a while?" 
You'd pretended to mull it over. "Hmm. Maybe on special occasions. We'll have to see if we can work out a schedule for your hopeless romantic tendencies in the future." 
Yeonjun had then made a show of wiping pretend sweat from his brow. "Thank goodness." 
You'd giggled, despite yourself. "I'm serious, though. It's a beautiful thought, but...do you think it's something we could come back to? At a later time?" 
Ever the gentleman, your Yeonjun had nodded sweetly at you. "Of course," he'd said, taking your hand in his before leading the two of you back out of the store. "We can talk about the future whenever you're ready. I'm just as happy in our present right now, anyway." 
That had certainly changed somewhere along the way, you think bitterly to yourself. But pushing past this memory still feels like a small victory, in a way. You hadn't wasted money on committing to a promise that Yeonjun had broken.
There are countless more memories that resurface in this way—but by the time they pass, you no longer taste that metaphorical blood in your mouth anymore at their recollection, no longer feel your heart yearning for them to stay the way you would have a few months ago. They just pass, and you don't think about them again after they go.
Yeonjun only texts you once. You haven't sent him a single message since his Instagram post before fall break—and of course, you imagine he knows why. You may not have expected him to break up with you when he did, but you did know him ridiculously well at one point, seemingly both inside and out—you know that he knows you well enough, too, to understand why you've suddenly gone radio silent. But he does text you once, right as the first week of your semester finishes.
> hey. is everything okay? do you want to talk? 
Months ago, you think, you would have leapt at the opportunity—jumped through the screen and across space and time, practically, to have a chance to talk to him for an extended period of time, for a possible chance to win him back. Now you just feel embarrassment towards yourself for ever having felt that way. 
You never respond.
Taehyun's presence in your life is different now, too. You still work together, of course, but you have several shared classes again—so you find yourself studying and comparing essays at either his apartment or yours nearly three or four times each week. It's challenging, all of it, but in between, it does make you remember why you became friends with Taehyun in the first place—because he's not like anyone else you've ever known before. Every time you want to throw in the towel on a particularly lengthy assignment, he has some witty comment that gives you just enough energy to keep going. Every time you come by his apartment, the way the corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles upon seeing you sends a surge of warmth through you. If you have felt trapped in frigid ice since this breakup, Taehyun has been your sun, ever so gradually melting that ice away whenever you let him. 
And you do let him. One night, you're leaving his apartment after exchanging study guides for one of your midterms. You walk by his side, car keys swinging softly in between your fingers. 
"How are you feeling?" Taehyun asks right before you open your car door. He doesn't elaborate, but you know what he's talking about. 
So you turn to him. "I, um...I don't know if this will get better," you admit quietly. It's a fear you've harbored from the start—that you'll never get over Yeonjun, your first and last—that he will have created your perception of love, molded and shaped it to his design and his alone before shattering it, leaving you to pick up the pieces for the rest of your life. 
But Taehyun lets out a scoff at that. "It will. I promise, Y/N. It does get better." 
You narrow your eyes at him. "How do you know that? Hmm? Are you some secret fortune teller that I don't know about? Is that how you've been able to afford such a nice apartment here?"
He laughs at you. "No. I'm not a fortune teller. But I know this much—it'll get better. I can't tell you when, because I don't know that. It's something you'll have to figure out, I think. But one day, soon, you'll wake up one morning, and it'll hurt less. And then, a little later, it won't hurt at all. It'll feel like it was a bad dream. You'll get involved in other things, other interests, other people, and then you won't think of this when you wake up in the morning at all." 
You nod, slowly. "I want to believe you, Taehyun. I do. I just don't know how long that will take." 
But he just shrugs again. Damn him for being so easygoing. "That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless."
You do know where he'll be—right by your side, just like he's been for the last six months. In truth, you had expected him to fall back on his promise to wait—you would have been sad, sure, but you wouldn't have blamed him. Putting up with you moving on from a relationship over the course of half a year, now, can't have been an easy task. But you've never heard a word of complaint from him. He isn't that kind of person—you know this now. He really will stick by you for as long as you'll allow him to—a kind of affection you haven't felt from anyone in a long, long time. 
But right beside you isn't the only place Taehyun seems to be. Your subconscious seems to have taken a liking to him, too—because that night, you see him in your dreams. You'd tossed and turned earlier, unable to fall asleep, throwing the sheets off the bed before you curl up into a ball and squeeze your eyes shut. When you finally find yourself lured back into sleep, you find Taehyun—strong and sweet and caring and beautiful Taehyun. He wraps his arms around you in the dream, hands grabbing hold of your waist before he presses his lips to yours in a heated kiss—as if he never wants to let you go. As if there isn't anyone else in the world that matters except for the two of you. 
You wake up in the morning and weep. 
Later in the day, you find tears brimming at the corners of your eyes again when you finally find the courage to delete the photo album on your phone of you and Yeonjun—but they never fall past your lashes, even when you hit the red delete button. 
Perhaps you've run out of tears for him, because none fall when you package away everything else of his in your apartment—every framed photo of the two of you, every stuffed animal he'd bought, every hoodie of his you'd once promised to give back all fit neatly in a single cardboard box, sealed and never to be seen again. 
Without the remnants of Yeonjun scattered throughout your apartment, you find yourself thinking of him less with each day that passes. The ghost who had once haunted every fiber of your being now seems like little more than a bad dream you've suddenly woken up from. This realization hurts you, just like the ones before it—but the hurt doesn't linger. It, too, grows faint before long, dissipated and fading away just like the rest of your relationship. 
The end of the semester doesn't sneak up on you this spring. You have a lengthy presentation for your hardest class, an argumentative speech that you've practically spent all semester preparing for. You and Taehyun practice for each other for weeks beforehand, critiquing and encouraging and teasing each other the whole way through—but it's still over before you know it. 
The morning after your final presentation, you don't wake up until the sun has risen high in the sky, peeking through the blinds over your window and finally raising you from sleep. You stretch as you walk over to the window, opening the blinds and peering out into the street below you. There's a couple walking on the sidewalk—and you recognize the girl as a regular from the library, the one with strawberry-colored hair whom Kai had been practically obsessed with back in the fall. 
She tugs at the sleeve of the man walking beside her, pulling him into a sudden kiss, and you instantly turn away from the window, giving them a moment of privacy despite their actions being in public anyway. 
Well—she obviously hadn't known about Kai's existence, but she'd still clearly been able to find some kind of happiness. The thought soothes you, in a way, and you think about how the scene below you would have made you feel six months ago. You would've been jealous, probably, and upset that you'd never experience anything like that again—but now the only thing it fills you with is longing. It makes you happy to see others experience something that you know feels like a gift. You want to experience that again too, you realize. 
The instant that thought forms in your head, another memory materializes. 
That's okay. You know where I'll be, regardless. 
You feel your heart soar at the recollection. 
Yes, Taehyun. I do.
V. SUMMER. 
Taehyun texts you the very first day summer break begins. 
> how'd your last final go? 
> omg i meant to tell you after work yesterday but kai's parents said he could stay in the beach house this weekend 
> like a very early birthday thing i think lol. it'll be a few ppl but you're more than welcome to come tomorrow if you haven't gone back home yet 
The invite sends a flurry of both excitement and nervousness through you. You haven't gone back home yet—your parents aren't coming until early next week to help you move out for the summer, not to mention the fact that you haven't see Taehyun or any of your other coworkers since the end of finals week. Excited doesn't even begin to cover it, you think. 
< i'll be there! 
Kai, thankfully, is a relatively easy person to shop for—you have no trouble at all picking up a wristwatch you remember him talking about a few times at work. And in truth, his birthday isn't for another two months, but you imagine he needed some excuse to convince his parents to let him throw an end-of-the-school-year party—so you don't mind the expense at all.
Kai is overjoyed to see you when you arrive at the beach house, thanks to Taehyun sending you the address, and even more so when he sees the gift bag in your hands. 
"You did not have to get me anything!" he exclaims, pouting, but you still see that glint of anticipation in his eyes despite his words. 
You beam at him, throwing your arms around him in a quick hug. You've missed this—being with your friends and not feeling like you were putting them through hell with you. Seeing them happy with you feels right in a way that nothing else has in months. "Happy birthday, Kai," you say, pulling back so he can tear into his present (which he does almost immediately). 
Taehyun is waving at you from the shallow end of the pool. "Did you bring a swimsuit?" you hear him call over Kai's shouts of excitement. 
You nod, biting back a grin as you pull your shirt over your head and tug your shorts off as quickly as possible, revealing the bathing suit that you'd worn on your way over underneath. You immediately run to jump in the deep end, splashing both Taehyun and Beomgyu, if the yells and laughs you hear when you resurface are any indicator. 
Beomgyu makes some excuse about needing to find the birthday cake, hauling himself up and out from the side of the pool when you start to swim over towards Taehyun.  
He doesn't budge, grinning at you as you make your way towards the shallow end. "Nice of you to make an appearance," he says, winking. 
"Well, I had to let you know I was here somehow, you know," you reply instantly, grinning right back. 
Taehyun's smirk widens. "Of course. And I'm glad you're here, Y/N. How'd you end up doing for your finals?" 
You shrug. "A’s and B’s. I'm still pretty satisfied with how that presentation for Dr. Lee went, though—how about you?" 
He pushes your shoulder playfully. "Look at you! I told you you'd kill that speech. I knew you could do it." 
You feel the ghost of his hand on your skin even after it's gone, shivers rippling down your spine at the thought—and that does it. You can't keep up the small talk any longer. "I have something for you," you announce, as stone-faced as you can manage. "Close your eyes." 
Something flickers in his eyes—surprise? delight, even?—but it's gone just as soon as you notice it. "For me?" He laughs. "But it's Kai's birthday party." 
You nod. "I know," you say. "I already gave him his present. You get one too." 
Taehyun's eyes narrow. "Am I getting the same thing as Kai?" 
You can't bite back the grin that tugs at your lips. "Not even close." 
He seems satisfied with that, finally, so he closes his eyes. You know you'll only get one chance to do this, to do it right with the element of surprise—so you lean in as quickly as you can, before the logical side of your brain can catch up with the rest of you, and press your lips to the side of his cheek. 
Taehyun looks at you, eyes wide open with surprise, until—"You missed." 
You frown. "I what?" 
He nods, as if that should have been obvious. "Mmm-hmm. You missed." There's only a split second for you to realize what he means before he's taken hold of your chin with two of his fingers and brought your lips to his. He's kissing you. 
Taehyun is kissing you. 
There are no fireworks or cannons shooting above your head, no angel floating down from the heavens to confirm that this moment has been the peak of your entire life—but kissing Taehyun is soft. Gentle. It's all the comfort he always makes you feel, has always made you feel—nothing feels more right than being pressed up against him here, with one hand cradling your chin and one settled securely on your hip as his lips move against yours.  
There still aren't fireworks or cannons shooting off behind you—but what you do hear are loud whoops and cheers from your coworkers (and maybe a few fake retching noises). Taehyun pulls back a little once he hears those, dark eyes scanning your face for any signs of discomfort—but there are none. Instead, you laugh, and Taehyun does too, breath skating across your jaw as you feel more right than you have in an achingly long time. When he presses his lips to yours again, still smiling against the kiss, you feel that sensation of right, of warmth, of comfort practically coursing through your veins as you slide your arms around his neck. This, right here, is where you're supposed to be. 
“You waited,” you manage to breathe out in between kisses, holding tighter to Taehyun’s shoulders above the water to steady yourself.
He smiles at you, beaming brighter and warmer than the summer sun above the two of you. “Yes, Y/N,” he whispers softly, moving his hand to cup your cheek in his palm. “And I’d do it again if it meant we would still end up right here.”
It's not the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another—life is hardly ever that smooth. It just is. 
You don't know the kind of partner Taehyun is yet. You don't know that he'll almost always keep a hand on your thigh when you sit together, that he'll write a list in the notes app of his phone of your orders at each of your favorite restaurants, that he'll love to take candid photos of you to show you later, that one day the two of you will be in a very similar position to the way you are now while a small black box holds a hefty weight in his back pocket—but you don't have to know any of that yet. 
You're here with Taehyun, now, your arms around him as his wrap around you, and that's what matters. The rest you can figure out together.
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kairiscorner · 9 months
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i'm stuck with you. — miguel o'hara x reader pt. 1 (college dorm mates au)
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summary: the only good thing about having this cocky asshole as your dorm mate is for help at the one subject you abhor and had hoped to avoid: math. even art students can't catch a break from it, it seems. ah, well, the only good thing is your tutor's... free, for the most part... until he asks you for something in return.
pairing: college dorm mate!miguel o'hara x gn!college dorm mate!reader
genre: fluffy <333 a little suggestive though in one bit, but mostly fluff !!
word count: 1,481
authors' note: OK I HAVE PUT THIS OFF FOR TOO LONG, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS LIL TIDBIT I HAVE TO SPARE ATE @binibinileonara !!! (hindi naemphasize yung art student si reader pero this was what i had in mind ,,,,,)
(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)
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you really hated having to do this; if you could only either be the smartest person in the world and do the math in a matter of seconds or obliterate math as a whole since it was a subject you found boring, or useless–or both. you grumbled as you stared at the incoherent symbols and operations in front of you, hoping that through this staring, the right answers would magically come to you. but alas, such a miracle did not happen, and you've spent 15 minutes straight staring at it getting even more confounded on what to do. you sighed as the door to your dorm opened, and coming into the room was your absolute ass of a dorm mate–miguel o'hara.
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seeing you slumped over on your desk made him raise an eyebrow out of curiosity. "what are you moping about?" he asked you as he took a sip from the coffee he bought earlier, with your eyes narrowing up at him at his coffee. "didn't think to get me one when i've been pulling all-nighters all week?" you asked him with irritation in your voice as miguel merely sipped louder and shrugged. "didn't ask me to get you any." "that's because every time i ask you, you never get me any!" you complained as miguel peered over at the math assignment you had and chuckled. "oh, basic." he muttered under his breath as you looked over your shoulder in embarrassment, your face flustered as miguel had just called the horrible, incomprehensible mess of letters, numbers, and symbols 'basic'?
you huffed as miguel sat down next to you and set his coffee aside. "y'need any help?" he asked you with a monotonous, uninterested voice as he took a pencil and the assignment into his own hands. "you wouldn't understand this." "oh i beg to differ." he said as he got to work on the solutions, pulling up a scientific calculator and pressing away at the keys, slightly enjoying solving your math assignment for you as you watched in utter envy at his big, fat brain getting to work while yours is shriveling up and dying at the math you couldn't even begin to understand. he chuckled to himself again as he kept solving it, with you peering over at him as he kept writing down answers and tapped away at the calculator's keys, with you feeling so lost at what he was doing.
"that's my homework you've got there." you reminded him as he kept solving it non-stop. "and it's my brain doing the work for your poor, pitiful self that can't even understand pre-calculus." he said as he put the pencil down and reviewed his answers, muttering to himself as he read it over, doing the operations backwards to double check the answers.
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he took the paper full of solutions away with him as he was about to leave the dorm. you scrambled out of your seat and rushed over to him, unsure if you were about to beg him for the answer sheet or grovel at his feet for them. "wait!" you exclaimed as you jumped out of your seat and onto your feet. he turned around to look at you, the answer sheet still in his hand. "what? it's your homework, isn't it? sounded like you didn't want me to do it, so here, i'm giving you want you wanted." he said as he looked at you from underneath his glasses, smirking to himself ever so smugly as you pouted up at him, your eyebrows knitting together in frustration.
you took in a deep breath and brought your shoulders down, trying to loosen up as you exhaled and looked up at his smug, shit-eating grin with all the calmness you could muster. "miguel..." you began, trying to keep your cool as miguel leaned down to hear you better. "sorry, tiny, can't hear your little ant voice, speak up." he teased you as you grumbled under your breath. you inhaled and exhaled again, trying to keep yourself focused on asking him for that damn answer sheet. "miguel, can you please... give me those answers for my math assignment." you pleaded him in a louder voice. "huh? sorry, you sound like a little cockroach right now, speak up, please." he said as he leaned down nearer to your face as you grumbled again. "please, give me the answers for the math assignment. i won't ask for anything more." "huuuuuh? speak up, couldn't hear you." " i said give me the answers for the math assignment, you cocky motherfu–" "oh, okay, here." he said as he handed you the folded up paper.
you reached out to take it, but miguel quickly yanked it away from you, with his smirk widening as you seemed so desperate for the answers... that you'd probably do anything for them. he chuckled as he shook his head. "how cute, but you gotta work for this, y'know? i'm not as generous as you think i am, chiquita." he said as he found your pouting and angry face just so irresistibly cute.
you stamped your foot and kept pleading, while also insulting, him–much to his amusement. he couldn't take it anymore, you were far too cute for him to say no to. "alright, alright, fine, chiquita, i'll hand it over, wouldn't wanna fry your cute, empty little brain, no?" he teased as he handed it to you, but pulled away again as you sighed exasperatedly. "but again... y'gotta work for it." he said as he took your seat and gently placed his hands on your waist. you shuddered as he pulled you close to him, his nose nearly touching yours as you looked down at him, and he looked up at you with more of a smile than a smirk or cocky grin like earlier.
despite you acting all angry and defiant towards miguel, you didn't pull away from him–you instead felt yourself submitting to his touch and leaning further against his chest. your breathing slowed and your defiant gestures ceased as you felt miguel's breath hot against your cheek. "so... what do you think of me?" he asked you with a smirk as you pouted up at him. "if it wasn't obvious already, you're an asshole who's full of himself." he chuckled at your honest observation. "okay, true, true... but not even the least bit handsome to you?" he asked you in a softer, sweeter voice. you remained silent, searching for the right words you wanted to utter right then and there, but all that you could answer would give away how you didn't see him as just your annoying dorm mate.
the fluster in your face got even worse as he tucked away a stray strand of hair behind your ear and murmured that you looked so beautiful. "i wouldn't mind doing your homework for you all the time, really... you know me well enough, i'm a little weak for you." he said with a chuckle as you felt flustered at his flattery. "just get on with it, so i can–" your lips had stopped moving to speak, and instead, they moved to messily lock lips with his as he leaned over and pressed his soft, supple lips against your own. you didn't pull away, you gave yourself into the kiss until miguel had pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours. "all you had to do... was admit you like me. but i guess i had it all wrong, maybe... i had to admit it first, but whatever." he muttered as he handed you the paper full of solutions. you forgot that was the reason you went through all this trouble of begging him and letting him touch you.
you tried to act tough, telling him he should've asked you first if he could kiss you, with him nodding and apologizing about his extreme boldness right then and there. "not my most gentlemanly moment." "as if you even are a gentleman." you said as you leaned against him still, with him raising his eyebrows in confusion. "you... wanna stay on me?" he asked you as you sighed. "you started it, now you reap what you sow, asshole." you said in a fake irritated snap as miguel chuckled. "okay, um... can i hold you again this time?" he asked in a whisper as you nodded. "finally, you figured out how to ask before you take." you said as you felt a little more flustered at the thought of him having kissed you earlier, him letting all his bare emotions out on you. he may be a cocky, arrogant smartass... but you had to admit, you were kind of waiting for him to make the first move; at least now, he was being just a bit nicer to you. you could get used to him doing your homework for you, in exchange for a few kisses from you.
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tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @fictarian @yuridopted0 @arachnoia @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @ophanimgold @melovetitties @popeheywardssecretgf
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