#meid4

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She wasn't a guy - Mitsuki

done !

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Jackie taylor

quick lineart and coloring off jackie taylor bc i can't stop thinking about the show

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WIP mitsuki she wasn't a guy

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My thoughts on Max in s4 (and Billy)

I don’t know if other people with childhood trauma can relate to that, but :

When I watched Stranger things season 4, I was kinda like : “c’mon, Max, Billy was a bad person ! How can you feel bad for him when he was a piece of shit ?”. But at the same time, I understood it so much, and I know that this is why I didn’t want her to feel that way. All that guilt.

Her, being so depressed, was showing what it is to live after something so traumatic happened (I mean that we don’t really see the others dealing with that side of PTSD as much)

Okay so, my abuser(s) are not dead, i even still live partially with some of them. Like, I know the wrong they did, that they hurt me and others but it’s so difficult, especially when they are family, to not feel bad when they're hurting. You hate them but at the same time, you know they are like that because they were also hurt. 

Episode 4 made me cry like hell. I wanted her to live, to be with people who actually care about her, and not be stuck with the memories of her abuser. Billy made her feel guilty when he was alive (because he needed to watch after her and because they moved to Hawkins) and still made her feel that way when he died. His power over her didn’t die with him. Her memories of him even twisted a bit, because of his sacrifice, she kinda thought : “oh, but he wasn’t that bad”.

HE WAS. 

Billy apologist are wrong, I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’s just a disrespect to Max’s character and all people who were abused. I think Billy is an interesting character, I’m not like saying people can’t like him at all (you can like “villains”, that’s not wrong. You just have to acknowledge the wrong they did at some point (I know that's an entirely different discussion, but yeah)) 

It’s a difficult topic, I’m coming from a place where I empathize way too much with Max and his other victims to forgive Billy even if he was abused. You can’t say that what he did wasn't that a big of a deal : he was a bully, a racist, and a misogynist. 

Maybe, if he had some of a redemption arc, my point of view could’ve changed a bit (his sacrifice doesn't count). Like with Steve, who had kinda like 2 seasons of character development in a good way. Even if he did things that were wrong, he acknowledged what he did and grew (I don’t remember everything of the show, so potentially fan fictions helped me love him much more lmao). 

But I don’t forget what he did. 

And what’s for the end of volume 2, when I watched it the first time, I kinda wanted Max to die OKAY WAIT HERE ME OUT, HERE ME OUT !

Because, it WAS so CRUEL to do that. She finally wanted to live, and killing her would’ve been HORRIBLE. It would’ve shown that the good guy’s don’t always win, and it echos with Robin’s line where she says that she doesn’t think they are going to make it this time. (yeah, I love a good angst to tear my heart apart. I was crying, throwing up when Max begged to stay alive). 

I’m like happy she’s alive now, she is one of my favorite characters and I would literally die for her. They HAVE to let her stay alive now, they can’t do the “is she going to die or not ?” 3 times. 

So I want to see what they are going to do with her character, now that we know that she wants to live. I hope she doesn’t stay in a coma most of the season, and that she isn’t going to be miraculously fine after waking up. It’s not my place to say if it would be okay for her to be a disabled character because Sadie Sink isn’t disabled, so I’m not going further with that. I just hope they aren’t going to rush the rest of her character arc.

And I want her to be happy with her new family, because we love a good found family.

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When stranger Things s4 vol.1 came out, I liked to see people reacting to the first episodes. And, I noticed that some of them were so sure that Eddie was going to be a bad guy. Mostly, because of some vibes or a feeling. They couldn’t really describe it.

And I think that it IS kinda funny because it's literary Eddie’s whole story : people thinking that he is up to no good because he looks like it. Just like citizens of Hawkins, they just see, a guy : who fails school, lives on the “bad side” of the town and who is a drug dealer. Also, he is clearly queer and neurodivergent coded. 

They kinda have the mindset of people of Hawkins. And unlike them, we (the watchers) KNEW that Eddie didn’t kill Chrissy, that he is innocent, in the FIRST episode. Still, people are suspicious of him.

Of course, it’s mostly subconscious because they have these stereotypes with how “villains” are usually portrayed. But I think it's interesting. 

Could it be that I didn’t antagonist Eddie because : I’m queer and neurodivergent ? Maybe. Because I was never good at school ? Possibly. Because I grew up with people who didn’t always have money enough ? Probably.

But, I think that people who DID really expect that Eddie was going to be one of the bad guys, need to think of why they had this thought. Because these people are, possibly, also the ones who could “kinda see” why Jason was so sure that Eddie killed Chrissy. (Even after seeing his friend floating in the air and snap).

“Yeah, but Chrissy was his girlfriend, he loved her ! This is why he was so obsessed with killing Eddie, he wanted to avenge her” 

Yeah, no, if you think that this is the only reason… You didn’t understand his character, AT ALL !

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Being aromantic, neurodivergent and being obsessed with romance is so funny to me. Like, my whole life was thinking about love, writing about love, only watching movies and series about love.

And I think that it's kinda due to the fact that I don't understand it ? Just like people wanting to know everything about their interests. I find romance so fascinating and ridiculous. People make falling in love, being in a relationship,... their whole life, personality. And I just like to know more about it, how people can feel such thing for another person/other persons.

Obviously, growing up, i though all this would happen to me too. I cried enough times, not knowing what was wrong with me. But I'm slowly accepting this fact now, and I find so much joy in reading about other people's story.

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Wednesday : Someone will die... Enid *in the background* : ...of fun !

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Illustration for my art class, we had to pick a subject randomly (I picked “a boxer”)

https://www.instagram.com/mei.d4/

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We love Wayne Munson

Reading stranger things fics were, Wayne Munson doesn't like Steve Harrington at first, but slowly grows a soft spot for him. Like at first, he thinks Steve is an asshole and doesn't want him to be around Eddie, but then he realizes that Steve is not like his dad. Actually, Steve never had a good parent figure, so he wants to do everything by himself and don't ask for help.

So Wayne start to take care of him subtly. Like, when Steve catches a cold, he gives him tea with honey, puts a cover over Steve when he falls asleep in the couch, tells him to dress warmer.

Eddie : See, he's not that bad huh

Wayne : He is actually, but someone has to look after this dumbass

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Sussycat

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Making a playlist already

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Going to class again = doodle time

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I was testing out clip studio paint, so here is a frog