#memory is immortality love is immortality

[zu-is-here]

Love is blind

Fluffynightkiller Week by @help-im-a-gay-fish

Ccino by black-nyanko

Nightmare by jokublog

Killer by rahafwabas / rahaf-wabas / rahofy-sketch

[seraphiism]

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 ┊ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐗

( I CURSE YOU FOREVER IN NAME, I BLESS YOU FOREVER IN DEATH. )

chara : blade fandom : honkai star rail quote cr : blasphemous a/n : blade could be completely ooc and i would not know 10/10. please note this is solely based off reading his lore for like. 10 minutes. idk him otherwise

ACT 01 :

the first time yingxing dies, you grieve. you grieve the loss of a friend, a lover, a home. a lifetime of memories cherished, forsaken. forlorn.

you remember that life fondly. that flicker of serenity in his eyes, the far and few moments of peace shared in deep intimacy. it is bittersweet, you think, and the bile rises in your throat, burns and burns and burns until it gnaws at the ache in your being.

something lingers in your throat. a different kind of burn, a different kind of hurt. the taste of iron and rust. it chokes you, and you cannot tell if it is blood or words unspoken.

you swallow, anyway, and it poisons you. a deep inhale, exhale. you open your eyes.

yingxing is not here. of course he isn't ; he has been gone for far too long. instead, your gaze meets one of coldness and cruelty, of crimson and reds, of a love gone wrong. your hands shake, but it is not from fear.

still, you smile.

"i wish you would just die, blade." you whisper the words like it is a holy mantra, but the higher beings have heard it all too many times before, and what is holy is meant to be sacred, and what is sacred is meant to be spoken in tongues. "i wish you would just die."

blade tilts his head, expression unchanging. somewhere in that red, there may still be love, but it is drowned in strange apathy, and somewhere in the traces of unbelonging, there is sorrow.

ACT 02 :

but love is not always everlasting. it is a flux and flow, and what was once gentle and kind twists into something of faint resentment and the knowing of defeat. it's all love in the end, they'll tell you, but you know in your heart, that it's not what it once was.

your fates are intertwined. you remember telling yingxing this, your lips against his as you held back a soft laugh, murmuring words of affection in a moment you thought would last forever. but that forever was not meant for you.

your forever-- blade's forever, is this cycle of life and death : one who wishes to live yet dies over and over again, and one who wishes to die but lives forever. you have died too many times, reincarnated, yet blade is the one to always stay. one lover, destined for death, and the other, cursed with the blessing of immortality.

you find yourself in his arms again, but there is no ease of the heart. it feels like home-- familiar, yet there is no warmth. you stay, anyway, because he's all you know, and he's all you'll ever know.

"why can't i just forget?" you whisper, and you feel his body stiffen against yours. "is it not enough to suffer at the hands of death? why do i have to remember you and every part of you that has long departed? why do i have to keep watching you lose yourself more and more?"

you hate him. you hate him, you hate him you hate him. you wish he would just die, you wish he would just go so he could be free from it all because you love him. you love him, you do, even if all of this kills you. your body trembles. your eyes sting, and so you bury your face in the crook of his neck, ashamed, and he feels the warmth that trails from your cheek and onto his skin.

he holds you closer. his jaw clenches. he says nothing because he can't. because there is nothing to be said, nothing to be done. he has tried to distance himself in the hopes of saving you, but your souls are fated to be, meant for the suffering.

he kisses your temple, reverent. an apology, unspoken.

he hopes you hear it, somehow. he hopes you hear and feel every apology, every ounce of regret and love and grief and remorse. you were never meant to grow old and gray together, always meant for doom & damnation.

blade is not one for hope. but just this once, and only this once, he hopes that one day, you will find each other after the passing, and in another life, a life so very different from this wretched one, you will have a happy ending together.

[madarasgirl]

His Immortal

Permission to use art from the INCREDIBLY talented @vanerchest. Feeling very honoured! I think about this piece often whenever I write Alucard angst.

C/W: Alucard (Ultimate) x senior!Reader, angst, on death and dying, hospital setting, hurt/no comfort, shadow writing. Inspired by the legendary song "My Immortal" by Evanescence Words: 998

You supposed you were the one who was selfish for choosing this mortal fate and leaving your greatest love behind.

Did you regret this path? Sometimes you thought perhaps you did. There would have been tons to gain by becoming an ageless vampire at his side, and on occasion, you used to speculate 'what if?'

It didn't matter. It was far too late to backtrack anyways, and it would be an insult to do so, after living such a beautiful, full lifetime spent with Alucard, teeming with precious memories and magical experiences. He aged with you through the decades –at least he made it so his appearance did.

But as with all mortals who lived long enough, you too eventually grew very old, frail, and sick. Your body betrayed you and no longer belonged to you. It didn't obey when you wanted to walk, speak, eat, or even breathe.

So here you lay in a hospital bed, intubated and sedated, machines replacing the function of vital organs while multiple drugs dripped nonstop to hold you captive in this realm. What a sight you made, with tubes protruding from every corner on your skeletal form.

Your body may have failed, but fortunately you never developed dementia. Your mental faculties were as crisp as the night you met so long ago. A piece of you was still buried within, floating from above and somehow aware of the happenings around you in your comatose state.

The various alarms and buzzing were only background noises by now, and there was little commotion this time as well, but you felt a sense of relief. Sighing inwardly, you wished Alu would leave your side for a moment so you could just die already, though you knew that was an empty hope. The vampire had not parted from the bedside your entire stay.

Was he scaring the nurses by crying again? You hoped he'd remember to make them forget this time. And not to terrorize the staff and force them to do whatever it took anymore. You recalled the time you surfaced with another set of thick tubes in your neck and groin, and how painful they were. How frightening it was.

"You must live," he whispered to you at night at first. For his sake. So you did, trapped in the confines of your weathered shell, you continued to exist for him, slowly spiralling downhill until now.

With any other man, you'd be helpless to communicate in your vegetative state, but Alucard had never been as mediocre as 'normal.' So you begged him through telepathy. After all these years, reaching for his mind was as easy as sifting through your own thoughts, as natural as breathing (well, back when you were still able to do so independently). You implored him again to let you go. You were terminal and old, with no hope for recovery or any good prognosis. Being connected to every form of life support was not life, just a sad fate that prolonged your suffering and delayed your inevitable expiration.

Long ago, he promised not to let you suffer.

Alu, please don't make them bring me back again when my heart stops.

The weary, congested muscle thudded weakly towards failure. You were already dead in every way except you still possessed vital signs. The numbers were just evidence of the drugs, transfusions, and machines at work though.

The irony wasn't lost on you. At the end of the road, after declining his many offers to turn you when you were a maiden, you were finally just like Alucard, the living dead. You'd laugh if you could.

...More than anything, you didn't want him to see you like this, a husk of the vibrant woman you once were when you fell for each other. The unlikely circumstances of your meeting and scenes from your life flashed by in an instant. The vampire would tell you throughout the decades, when he'd get in one of his romantic moods, that you'd always be his sprightly young woman no matter your age. He actually only told you again yesterday. Or was it last week? 

How long have you been laying here?

The mind's eye saw his seated figure clearly and smiled. Actually, your tired mind pondered, you certainly did not regret a moment of your life with Alucard. He was the perfect partner and his unchecked devotion never gave you a reason to regret choosing him. Your lifespan was too short for that, he used to tell you.

But you regretted leaving him behind to be alone once more.

--------------------

Your heart stopped. And he loved you enough to let you go.

You were free.

Your spirit lifted from the prison of your flesh and you soared, wrapping around your love with your incorporeal form, sinking into him and caressing the unbeating heart that had ever belonged to you. This time, you wiped away the blood tears that fell.

You quivered.

Liberated from the pains and illnesses of advanced age, it was as if you'd become new and for the first time ever, like the fog lifted and you could finally see with clarity. Your non-existent chest tightened at the sight of your love crushed by your death, looking utterly devastated and lost. There was no sobbing or outward breakdown, but you knew his expressions well.

Nebulous fingers smoothed over inky black locks while you cradled his cheek. Glistening eyes the colour of polished rubies stared blankly at your lifeless corpse, your chest still rising and falling mechanically before the ventilator was turned off. He could not feel your soothing touch anymore and it broke you.

...

You will watch over your vampire from above and wait for him for the rest of your eternity, until he returned to dust and was no more. Then you'd meet him wherever he ended up. Just as he was, you were bound by the life you left behind.

And even if he was unaware, he still had all of you.

~End~

(For more angsty romance, check out my one-shot “Without You” on AO3. Warning: Smut abounds in that one. It is about the occasion when Reader chooses to remain human for her remaining days with Alucard. You will find similar themes to this short scene)

[hanafubukki]

I hope we learn more about Lilia’s adventures. It seems he’s learned so much in his travels that he’s kept with him and passed it down to his family.

The most common we’ve seen is how Malleus, Sebek, and Silver always brings gifts back for each other.

And little by little, we learn about other cute traditions.

The wish bracelet is so interesting to me because it’s supposed to make your wishes come true when they break.

So I can’t help but wonder, during his travels while looking for a way to hatch Malleus, was this something he learned?

Another chance. Another hope. Anything. To help him find a way to hatch Malleus?

We know he looked upon those stars and wished and wished for hundreds of years. Was this another piece of hope for Lilia?

We saw in the flashbacks how he constantly kept looking and kept following any rumors and such for any help.

So I could see this be something he learned along the way.

And now he passes it on to his family. All that he has learned and all his wisdom.

And isn’t that one way to make him immortal?

Through his words and memories. Through his traditions that he passes down to his children and they who will then pass it down to theirs.

A constant reminder of his love for them and vice versa.

Truly always with them and never gone. ☺️💚

[loustat-0]

What do you feel for Armand and Daniel version of the show ?

I don't know what you mean by this because It's not a detailed question the answers could be many 😅 .

A : I personally think if Armand and Daniel were together in the 70s Armand erased Daniel's mind because he thought Daniel wants him just for his blood that he's only wanting and choosing him because he was addicted to his blood , he wasn't sure if Daniel actually had some feelings for him or did he care about him at all ? And that's probably why he erased his memories . Plus Daniel in the 70s was an addict who was very unstable . And Armand probably used thess justifications to wipe Daniel's mind .

B : And in the present timeline he might have to face his own feelings for Daniel again , and face a lot more other facts too . That Daniel is sober now but he's also dying and he no longer wants immortality . Daniel's presence for Armand is a reminder of how he felt in the past and Armand doesn't want to remember those feelings again because he's still afraid that Daniel still doesn't love him . He's forced to confront the fact that Daniel is dying and he needs to decide whether to turn him or lose him forever . And he will probably realize that Daniel always had loved him and he took all that from him , he doesn't want him for his blood now when Daniel is close to death and he will now HAVE TO CHOOSE and I don't think he'd let him die and lose him again .

[vivakitkt]

I love you, why can’t you love me?

Synopsis: You love Xiao. But he doesn't like you. What will it for him to notice you? To notice your love? Then a chance comes to put an end your feelings for him. To relieve yourself from the pain. Do you take it?

Warnings: angst/ maybe comfort, !hanahaki reader, reader is implied as adepti(immortal, etc), not proofread,

A/N: hey guys..it’s been er 8? 9? months since I’ve written :’)? But hey I’ve promise pt4 of this series for a long time now so please enjoy and watch me disappear for another 9 months :D

Please enjoy<333

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4(this story is pt4)

2 weeks ago you wouldn’t have believed to be put into this situation. Only Xiao could make you feel this conflicted.

You had two choices; chose to suffer with your unrequited feelings till you day you die or forever lose centuries of friendship along with your memories with him.

Anyone in this situation would be torn between their future with the love of their life

It didn’t make it any better that Xiao didn’t seem to care either way. You were here stuck in an empty white room with medicine around you and a not so comfortable bed to rest on.

You thankfully have your old friend, Zhongli with you to guide you through your recovery, who would come often for afternoon chats.

/Zhongli, have you..seen Xiao at all recently?/ You peaked up from your teacup

/Xiao these days seems..busy to say the least these days/ Blowing on his cup of tea

/Oh I see/ disappointed you reluctantly asked, though you already knew the answer /Was he with the traveler/

Silence awkwardly filled the room

….

/ I did see him with the traveler guiding them with their recent venture back in Liyue/ he said looking back at you with a hint of guilt in his eyes

/ah but the traveler and Xiao were doing nothing of the sorts with each other, Xiao was simply accompany them./ he quickly spat out

/No it’s fine Zhongli, I can see that it wasn’t meant to be me/ you reassured him, placing a hand upon his. Though you wanted it to be you.

400 years spent with Xiao yet you still feel the butterflies overflow in the pits of your stomach and the clogging lump in your throat every time he passes your mind.

You’ve spent many long years to convince him of your love despite his negative protest.

Why?

Why couldn’t you capture his heart fast as the traveler could. You cracked down his wall but the traveler completely broke his walls down.

You’ve never seen a smile as beautiful as his. And you most likely wouldn’t have if not for the traveler to show you what it ment to be in love.

Two choices.

Die. Or live and forget Xiao.

Could you? Did you even have the mentality to leave him? You couldn’t even dare to blurt out “ I love you” to him.

Three words, sevens letter, and a pathetic love behind it.

[legendofmorons]

Wonderland -Prolouge

Hi! This has been a brain worm for like a year now. This is a series where it's like a choose your own adventure. I have a story line thay stems from this song for each Link (minus Wind).

I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL POST THE REST BUT I WILL (I'LL probably start posting towards the end of how to fall in love twice)

Pairing: Chain x reader

Rating:G

Summery: you reminisce on your time eith your ex lover. Some good, some bad.

Warnings: This is a song fic, it has the lyrics in italics.

Other: You don't need to read this to enjoy the rest of the series.

-------

Flashing lights and we took a wrong turn, and we fell down the rabbit hole. You held on tight to me 'Cause nothing's as it seems spinning out of control

Eveyrtime you fell through a portal it was like all the air was sucked out of your body and you were mixed around like scrambled eggs.

The way your head spins after it is entirely too ingrained into your memory. You still get nauseous at the very thought.

When they opened under you the one time you screamed as you grabbed onto your beloved hero, gripping his hand like a lifeline.

He let out a shout of surprise as the ground leaves him but his grip on you was strong even after the world stopped spinning.

The gentle way he made sure you were okay afterwards will never leave you.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your bright eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?

You can remember all your elders warning you not to rush into life, love, or danger. You didn't listen.

You took on Ganon in place of your at the time three year old brother. Then again three years later. Without any hesitation.

You tried not to rush into romance, but then he showed up. Kind, courageous, and someone who understands your history.

He pulled you into his gravity with nothing but a smile or smirk and his eyes flashing bright with joy.

He was curious, always asking about you and your history. His questions giving you hope.

But curiosity always leads to things you don't wanna know. Like the girl he's probably dating or going to date.

Ooh didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me. I should've slept with one eye opened at night

Your first date was exhilarating. He'd taken you to a festival where you all danced for hours. It was beautiful and loud and just like him.

The way his arms wrapped around you made you feel so safe and cared for. Gentle but strong and warm.

The sway of your dance made you giddy as you laughed at his jokes.

If you'd been more aware of things- it would all hurt so much to think about now.

We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it, and we pretended it could last forever, eh. We found wonderland, You and I got lost in it, and life was never worse but never better, eh

You remember nights spent with a shared watch shift, cuddled up by the fire as you talk about anything and everything that can be talked about.

It was too easy, falling into a domestic routine. Checking on each other after fights. Patching each other up.

Giving small gifts. Gentle touches.

You would have given anything to make it last. You tried to believe that it could last.

And yeah… Everything was awful. You were being hunted down by some immortal godlike shadow. But also- you were happily in love!

So we went on our way too in love to think straight. All alone or so it seemed. But there were strangers watching, and whispers turned to talking, and talking turned to screams

You remember taking the quest on with a new found lightness. His hand in your's as you both ignored the monster attacks increasing.

You find yourself being watched by strangers everywhere you go, but you both think it's funny.

They are just jealous.

You remember the first argument you had though, the way your voices all raised. His, your's and everyone else's.

Ooh didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twisting around me. It's all fun and games, still somebody loses their mind

You remember how thrilling each first in your relationship was. How gentle he was with you even if it clashed with his mature. He cherished you.

How he held you after your nightmares. Arms around you feeling so secure.

It was exciting, planning a future where he was in it. He adored the plans you made with him. He told you so.

And it was al so fun- until the end. Until the last portal opened and you watched him leave you standing alone. The last to go through you had a break down.

Oh darling, we found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. And we pretended it could last forever, eh. We found wonderland, you and I got lost in it. And life was never worse but never better, eh

You spend hours remembering it all. The first touch, first kiss, the way he held your face in his hands.

His voice plays in your head too often. And you would rather not hear it. It hurts too much.

You remember his hands in yours as you watched the clouds and the stars alike roll slowly across the skies. It was perfect.

It was. Even when you were all attacked over and over. You always had his back and he had your's.

I reached for you, but you were gone. I knew I had to go back home. You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had. And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad

You woke up the first morning after your return home only to reach for him to the other side of your bed. Your hand found sheets and it had been heart wrenching to remember he was thousands of years in the past.

You knew you couldn't stay with him. That your home needs you. That Hylia was not so kind to let you be happy together. And it still hurts

You wonder if he moved on? Did he have a family?

Selfishly, you hope he didn't. That he kept searching for traces of you.

[gaywarcriminals]

hello! how are you going? do you have any svsss fic recs you enjoyed?

Aside from the usual Horrors, I'm quite well!! I hope you are too ^^

Oh wow, It's a bit hard to pick just a few because I've read a lot of SVSSS fics in the past few years, but here's the ones that came to mind/ I've been thinking about recently! (I'm excluding ones that I already recommended this week for the ask game, you can check out my "ask fish" tag to see those. Edit: I made a "fish recommends" tag too.)

Qijiu:

"i bury my voice for you" (series) by lithali. Sci-fy/space opera AU. I'm not sure quite how to describe this one, but alien SJ fucks shit up and it's very good qijiu angst and smut, feat. transmasc SJ. I need more people to read this one!!!!!!!

"Palimpsest" by Azzandra. YQY loses his memories and tries to piece together how SJ fits in his life from what others tell him. I adore this fic, it's a really interesting examination of both their characters and why they love each other intrinsically. 

"You Were You, And I Was I" by MissMegh. Deaged qijiu being feral, clinging, and horny teenagers. Super cute and funny!

"what thing it is (that people most desire)" by Jinxed_Ink. A vaguely medieval AU based on an Arthurian legend where SJ disguises himself and blackmails YQY into marrying him for Revenge. SJ has Absolutely No Other Motive There. I didn't know how much I needed this particular brand of qijiu marriage shenanigans until I read it.

"I'm just as exposed (when i take off my clothes)" by owoxian. Qijjiu being weird and horny (as they deserve), being misinterpreted as abuse by accidental voyer MQF. 

"The Sect Leader’s Husband" by AMereDream. Canon divergence where YQY came back for SJ on time, and instead of becoming the QJP head disciple, SJ married YQY and became the power behind the throne. Cute power couple qijiu!!!

"The Heart Is A Sword" by Moonsheen. A-Su, a boy who is a sword, the emperor's weapon, is appointed personal attendant to the emperor's new consort Shen. PIDW post-canon.

Bingqiu:

"Rehearsal" by Prim_the_Amazing. Binghe, fresh from the abyss, uses a dream realm to run through all the ways his reunion with SQQ might go. This one is basically pure angst but it's SO good.

"How to Meal Prep - Household Tips, Recipes, and Ideas for a Better-Organised Life!" By x_los. Character study of 17-year-old preeminent housewife Binghe. It's cute, it's weird, and it's terribly tragic on account of the Dramatic Irony.

"Futility in Practice" by TGP. Time loop fic with a REALLY cool style of story telling. Repetitive but iterative text from Binghe, the non-looping character's POV as SQQ desperately tries to find the right answer to end the loop. Very angsty!

"it's not gay if you don't touch my ass ... unless?" by azunshi. Modern AU, SY wants to have sex with Binghe but ofc that would be gay, so instead he puts a cocksleeve up his ass for binghe to fuck instead. This fic is so deeply stupid (positive/complimentary), I love it, it's the exact brand of unhinged this whole fandom is slowlyy becoming.

"Songs of a Wayfarer" by foxflowering. Ballet AU with young prodigy LBH and his teacher SY! 

Binggeyuan:

"to find an intended (a bit unintentionally)" by nyoomerr. This is the classic. Wandering cultivator SY accidentally doms Bingge into being a good boy. 

"broken glass, swept away" by aaeph. Modern AU, SY buys a home only to find it haunted by the centuries old ghost of a demonic emperor. Bingge tries so hard to push SY away over and over, but SY is a stubborn man.

Jiuyuan:

"Jump To The Left" by ValiantBarnes (Cimila). I'm not sure quite how to describe this one without spoilers, but essentially, older Shen Yuan finds and saves SJ in the era he was following WYZ. SY takes SJ as a traveling companion/sort of disciple. CW for mentions of incest/psuedo-incest (no actual incest though).

"Immortal Shen Does Not Do Online Deliveries" by Anonymous. SY, a young cultivator and scholar, goes to ask the reclusive immoral master SQQ for an elixir. SQQ toys with him a little <3. Mean SQQ and flustered SY.

Gen/ No Ship:

"Rat Trap" by Azaisya. LQG & SJ. LQG and SJ are kidnapped, they get truth serum-ed, and they're forced to confront their different background and conflicting morals and methods that stem from that. I think this is my favorite execution of "LQG learns SJ's backstory and Has Regrets", because their conflict is explicitly framed as a class divide rather than just misunderstandings, and it addresses the flaws in both their resulting worldviews to some extent. 

"Sit With Your Soul" by Tossawary. SJ & SY. This is a fusion with His Dark Materials, but no knowledge is required. Basically everyone has an animal companion that's connected to and represents their soul, and SY transmigrates into SQQ's. 

[petrichara]

I wonder how much of our parents we know through knowing ourselves. I wonder how much of ourselves we think are our own and were first born in our parents. I wonder, even in death, what I still learn about my father.

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

another reason i think that xie lian felt an instant connection on the ox cart is because he and hua cheng both grew up in xianle.

there are maybe 4 people still alive that grew up in that culture. based on my own experience, you can pick up on things like accent, cadence, references, and humor that suggest a person is from the same place as you without consciously noticing it. that sense of comfort and similarity probably played into their instant chemistry.

[hexxter]

What if Luxu and Player encounter each other with each of the player’s reincarnation

Luxu who is stealing bodies vs the kid that keeps coming back to life

[feral-ballad]

They kiss me then... They kiss me and my heart seizes with grief. “Bury me, my love, and take a lock of my hair with you. Carry me through the centuries. I think I’d like to share, just a little, in what immortality is like.”

Cassandra Khaw, from The Salt Grows Heavy

[1ncend1ary]

something about you ...

[aq2003]

ten

[linaxart]

A drawing I made for an AU idea with @ignisentis a while ago 💚

[uncanny-tranny]

One thing you learn is that the idea that people nowadays are uniquely self-absorbed isn't... really accurate. There's a reason why ancient handprints are among the first records of humans making art. There's a reason why so many people hired artist to paint their portraits. There's a reason why people take selfies. Yes, part of it may be a sense of hubris and self-admiration, but also... we want to be remembered, I think. We want to connect ourselves to the future, and that is okay. You don't have to have a reason for however you are self-absorbed - it is how we have survived.

"We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus." -Pompeii graffiti of two men who loved each other (yes, as friends, but still, is that not love?) that we will remember