#men or women in their presence

[genderkoolaid]

people will literally be like "why do multigender people need to call themselves mlm/wlw when nblm/nblw are right there 🙄 stop invading our community" literally it's so insanely exorsexist to literally say that only monogender people are allowed to be mlm/wlw, because what? multigender people aren't "really" our genders? we aren't capable of being "real" men and "real" women? because monogender people are so pure and untainted, unlike us, who can't make up our minds? explode.

[transmascissues]

building off of this post, people love to say that “trans men want to keep going into in women’s spaces after they transition because they just want to have the best of both worlds!” but in my experience, there are four main reasons that a trans man might use a “women’s space” after they transition:

it’s an important resource that’s being arbitrarily gendered and we need to use it regardless of which gender is “supposed to” be using it.

it’s a public facility where we’d be significantly less safe in the men’s version and we have to choose our safety over our desire to not be misgendered.

it’s a social space that we’ve been in since before we transitioned and we don’t want to suddenly be cut off from our friends and support system.

the trans man in question is multigender and is also a woman, or maintains some other kind of connection to womanhood alongside their manhood.

do any of those sound like “evil men rubbing our dirty little hands together making plans for how we’re going to get male privilege without losing access to women’s spaces” to you? they sure don’t to me!

i think it’s pretty reasonable that we want to transition without losing the ability to access the resources we need, keep ourselves safe, keep up the relationships we’ve built, and express all facets of who we are. all of those are really, like, pretty basic parts of having good life and we shouldn’t be expected to give them up when we transition.

and honestly, if you claim to care about trans people, you should not be so attached to the gendering of these spaces that you’re willing to deny trans men those things for the sake of upholding gender restrictions. anyone who prioritizes the sanctity of gender segregated spaces over the safety, health, and well-being of trans men is a fucking transphobe. (yes, even if you’re trans yourself.)

and that’s what really gets me about all of this — the vehemence with which people are willing to defend those spaces being entirely and inflexibly gendered, despite how enforcement of gendered spaces has hurt trans people time and time again. gendered spaces have literally always been set up in ways that force trans people to break the rules; some trans men might break those rules in ways that don’t make sense to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for us to do so! it just means you might feel weird about it and that’s okay, discomfort won’t kill you.

“but using women’s spaces after transitioning to male defeats the purpose of transitioning! the whole point of transitioning is to be able to live as a man!”

and who are you to tell trans men what the point of our transitions should be? what if the purpose of us transitioning is just to live the happiest and most fulfilled life possible, and forcing ourselves into unsafe spaces or denying ourselves access to important resources or cutting ourselves off from important people in our lives or pushing down the more complex parts of our genders would “defeat the purpose of transitioning” for us? what if being able to go where cis men go is just one part of a much bigger journey, not the end goal?

if you really want to talk about “defeating the purpose,” let’s talk about how policing which gendered spaces trans men can access defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from policing which gendered spaces trans people can access, because it allows the policing of trans people in gendered spaces to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether. let’s talk about how using “evil men invading women’s spaces” rhetoric against trans men defeats the purpose of trying to stop cis people from using it against trans women, because it allows the rhetoric to continue in some form instead of eliminating it altogether.

the point of saying “let people decide which gendered space is right for them” isn’t to make sure everyone uses the one aligned with their “true gender,” it’s to let people do what’s best for them without punishing them for their choice. sometimes the best choice is one that seems wrong from the outside, and you need to learn to live with that.

i just think we as a community need to be more hostile toward people who think upholding the sanctity of a gendered space is more important than giving trans people the freedom to move through the world without being punished for existing in those gendered spaces. that kind of thinking is fucking dangerous and it’s weird as hell that some of y’all are so comfortable with it being directed at us.

moral of the story: stop giving so much of a shit about where a trans man decides to piss or see a doctor or hang out or whatever else. even if you think he doesn’t belong there, he probably has a good reason to be there anyway, and that reason is frankly none of your damn business.

[glitterghast]

you should draw robin in a "women want me, fish fear me" hat for giggles...

women want fish

me fear me

[sainzofthetimes16]

formula one. the billionare boys club.

[hahniana]

Look I love and respect the yuri nation and also think it Sucks when fandoms ignore perfectly good f/f relationships in media for mediocre yaoiz but like we cannot understate just how strong of a presence farcille has in the dungeon meshi community as of writing. Newcomers making the guys suck and fuck is such a non-issue can we chill

[sneakydraws]

Since that gothic anthy piece I've been thinking about a whole gothic rgu au... I'd really have to dig in deeper into indian-british history in order to develop this further (and to dress everyone more accurately) but I'm tentatively placing this in the 1830s... Akio could be an indian nobleman who worked with/for the east india company... Maybe did some shady stuff for it and was rewarded with a lavish mansion in the uk... Utena is some plucky orphaned girl who becomes his protégé... Anthy is the woman hidden away in the attic... But utena glimpses her at night... Mrs rochester core...

[seastarlily]

My pride headcanons for the Seaworthy Six!! They all say bi/ace rights!!💗💜💙🖤🤍💜

[thehealingsystem]

hey does anyone wanna make a new lesbian polls blog.....since the one who made it hates bigender and mspec lesbians

[cringefailnarwhal]

aha. fuck. male by default has an overwhelming presence in linguistics and thanks to russian being a Heavily gendered language we have this lovely saying: "женщина - не человек"/lit. "a woman isn't a human". человек being a masculine noun and a standard synonym to "an adult man". so girls from the age of what? 7 or 8? whenever you learn about grammatical genders in school hear this phrase from their male classmates non-stop.

[iamterribleatusernames]

my attraction boxes are like a square and there is male and female but there is also masculine and feminine and the catch is all the boxes are moving like tetris so i can be attracted to anyone at any given time

[rucow]

my humble era is over, i now claim ownership over my faves and i Will be your voryn/phantom/hircine/fíli mutual. all yuor blorbos are belong me now

[consolecadet]

A new fat pool party event has emerged in Boston. I'm a little nervous because last time someone tried to plan one of these there was a huge argument on Facebook about it that ended in it being canceled. I believe different people are organizing it, and fat positivity and fat politics have shifted somewhat since then, so maybe it'll be ok? Or at least the big argument will be different this time?

[lcfthaunted]

what's this? a whole ass fucking verse page written up? more or less more information likely to come as i continue refreshing my memory, but there, at least, is a story. there is even a blurb at the bottom of the verses page, copied below for ease of reading 💜

With enemies in both high and low places, Mazie is desperate for protection and is willing to pay any price to achieve it—no matter how bloody she may get in the process. Her loyalty goes to whomever can keep the wolves at bay, though she will sell them out in a heartbeat if it buys her a little more time. There is only so long one can stand being glanced askance at before deciding to live down to expectations of a society woman with a viper dæmon.

[timeisacephalopod]

Why do right wingers go on and ON about "father's in the home" when fathers are basically useless in the home? Like every year I see posts that go around about "dad finding out about what I got for Christmas" and it's like if fathers are so uninvolved they don't even know what Christmas gifts their kids are getting I don't think them being gone does much?? Like of course there's good and bad parents of all genders, but traditional gender roles- which the aforementioned right wingers ascribe to- mean men do jack fucking squat in the house OR anything with their kids so what the hell do right wingers think men are doing that's so important in the home if it's none of the childrearing or house work??

All I've got in this framework is a paycheque and these days women work so men wouldn't even be contributing something women DON'T, so I have no idea what these people think men are doing that it's so irreplaceable that being gone is damaging to children when by all means under their ideas of gender and family men are less than useless to their family. Women do all that work (and barring that, DAUGHTERS do more parental work than fathers so them being gone does what, exactly, except maybe rid the family of an overgrown child? Men who actually contribute are the ones families would be damaged without, not traditional men who probably don't even know how to do their own laundry OR cook or have any life skills because women have done everything for them their whole lives so???)

[a-dowryofblood]

The Johnny Depp case gave all celebrity male abusers a playbook to success, I'm not shocked Brad Pitt and Marilyn Manson are following his steps.

Look how successful Johnny Depp's shit show of a trial was, his career was done for and now people are begging to see him on a movie again.

[rebellum]

You see a post discussing unfair gendered domestic labour practices: 🤩

You get a hunch though and go to OPs blog and while you haven't seen them say anything DIRECTLY transphobic they haven't made additions to post that reference and reflect the reality of trans people so they are probably at least a little transphobic: 🫠