#mention of team taka!

[pinkhairedlily]

🌱sasuke grows a garden🌱

“It’s Karin’s idea, just so you know.” Suigetsu easily offers his teammate as the scapegoat. It’s good to scram as early as now, judging by Sasuke’s furrowed brows.

“It was your suggestion!” 

“It was supposed to remain in theory! You didn’t have to go and find it!” 

Karin attempts an angelic smile as she turns to Sasuke, “We thought it could make you happy. Besides, it’s Jugo who first noticed it.”

Jugo usually does the right thing, but he makes a point to be annoying today. “Happy birthday, Uchiha.”

“A stick.” Sasuke twirls the gift on the ground, hits it against the rock he’s sitting on, and breaks it into two with his knee. Karin and Suigetsu make the wise choice to flee the maelstrom and find mundane things to focus on.  He is pissed, rightfully so. He has thrown his past away, and all the things that tie him to it, including dates.

“We’re no gardeners, but at least you can bring something that reminds you of it,” Jugo shrugs. “You always look like you want to grow them.”

He almost discards the brown carcass when the scent of the sap hits him. A subtle floral. Pink buds on bare branches. A season of blooms. He has been looking at those trees for far too long. The broken pieces lie abandoned in the undergrowth, but a small twig makes a home inside his pocket. 

It will dry out from the journey, and many times it will almost lose its shelter. But its final resting place will be on hallowed ground, a marker for the sowed.

Soil underneath his fingernails, he brushes away her tears.

“I think I killed your herbs anata.”

“They’re easy to revive, Sakura. Don’t worry about it.”

“The tomato leaves kept curling.”

“It’s just environmental stress.”

“The yuzu isn’t flowering!”

“It’s still too young to produce fruits.”

“I’m really sorry. It was supposed to be your birthday.”

“You’re lucky you married me, but I might need something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Wild—”

“Wildflower?”

“Hot—”

“Pepper?”

“Se—”

Inside the house, Sarada yells, “Papa, come quickly! Your ice cream cake is melting!”

[watermelonsloth]

Suigetsu: I would kill for you, Sasuke.

Suigetsu, looking at Karin: Please let me kill for you, Sasuke!

[achilleslyre]

H.HELLO ????

[naruto-general-opinions]

[lawyeryuri]

The heart thing but im not gonna describe how to kill you cause youre a cool mutual however i wanna hear what makes naruto a good anime and also what makes it bad also i wanna hear your favourite headcanons of the guy on your pfp and sakura if you have any

I wanna hear you absolutely infodumps me into oblivion. Obliterate me with your naruto facts, headcanon and whatever in betweens. Take your time to answer this i will be waiting, until that here take this cat with ya ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

(giggles and kicks my feet) thank you so much for this ask!!! ^_^

ok so what makes Naruto a good anime in my opinion are the characters, their emotions and how they relate to one another. (also it's like really gay) Naruto has a pretty big cast and a ton of filler episodes, so a lot of the time, it's used to get into different character combinations, specifically at the end of the original series, with the 80 episode stretch of filler, (honestly a bit excessive) that's basically just naruto hanging out with the other teams. filler is truly a double-edged blade, because if its not good, it is a SLOG... i didn't skip any episodes until like ep 450, where it breaks from the war (exiting, fun, plot-relevant) to cut to a parallel universe retelling of THE ENTIRE SERIES UP TO THAT POINT. it lasts like 20 episodes, and sasuke's a cop (old, dumb, acab)

another gripe i have with Naruto (the show) is best summarized by that post that's like "i miss when naruto ran around and bit people. now he's just a liberal" cause he kind of stops growing as a person at age 16. "as soon as you question your ideals, it's all over" ok buddy. how about you learn and grow with your experiences. other than that that though love the show, though I do think it's an interesting choice to redeem/offer justification for every single (canon) villain in the whole series.

OK my favorite head cannons for rock lee (pfp guy) and sakura... I think that rock lee speaks without contractions because he wants to give every sentence his all, and not take the easy way out. in a filler episode, rock lee builds a training dojo, and I think that's super in character for him, and I bet tenten helped him fix it up, and she's got a tool closet in there or something. I also hc that bor🤢 boruto Era 🤮 lee is like a taijutsu teacher and works with shino. as for sakura, I think she and Lee spar together all the time so she can improve her speed. I also hc her as an aro lesbian because I can #relate to.. the whole sasuke deal. I also feel like she would take up art, once she takes a break from work.

I actually also have a theory about naruto (the boy) I've never talked about, I actually think naruto can sense chakra signatures. this is because he sensed zabuza during the land of waves arc. it would also make sense that his sensing ability is just enhanced by sage mode instead of pulled out of nowhere. not to mention that the most powerful and precise sensor introduced is an Uzumaki as well. (shout out to my girl Karin) probably the reason it never comes up is because he doesn't know what a sensor is 💛

uh wow that got long. starting this I was worried I didn't know enough about naruto to infodump, for some reason (I've literally been obsessed since February why would I think that) anyways THANK YOU SO MUCH for sending this ask, it literally made my week :D💛💛💛 I know for a fact you are also a very cool mutual (I have no lame mutuals) and have a great week!

[kingofthering]

a bunch of notes from Marc Marquez and Max Verstappen’s exchange while commenting a section of the HRC Thanks Days 2023 :

Marc explained the impact of aero on the bikes (and Max completed with what it does on cars) and he reiterated that he hates it, especially when trying to pass someone

Marc said that it wasn't really his thing to talk to other riders during race weekends but they did talk about updates sometimes between same factory riders (comms were asking about Taka) while Max said that he speaks with Checo a lot because of teams meetings mostly

when asked about what he likes to do in the offseason, Max talked about spending time with his family, doing sim racing and resting (said than when he was 18, he felt like he could do anything, now not so much)

Marc said he wasn't interested in Indycar (but liked to watch it)

Max said again that he wants to try to ride bikes but that he's not allowed, Marc told him to make bets with Red Bull Racing so that they allowed him (like, if I win the championship, you let me ride a bike)

Max rode mini bikes for a couple of years when he was a kid (when he was 8) but then stopped to focus on karting

Max enjoyed driving a super GT last year and said that the Super Formula cars look great

Max mentionned how he would like to do Le Mans (24h) (he went there already when his dad was racing)

most difficult race this season? Max : Singapore, Marc : Valencia (not the worst but the most difficult because he had to control his emotions)

best race this season? Max : Suzuka, Marc : Motegi

Max mentionned how he was always impressed at how MotoGP riders get back up after crashes, which prompted Marc to list his injuries this season (both thumbs, one rib, one ligament, one muscle...)

Marc explained that riders get to recover more quickly from their injuries than regular people because it's all they do with their days (doing therapy) and they have access to a lot of people and a lot of machines and it's their job to recover (said he spend 2-3 hours doing recovery in the morning and then 2-3 hours in the afternoon too) (broken bones won't be much faster tho, might just be helped by their health/good diet a little)

Marc then mentionned that of course they race injured sometimes but it's important to know the limit (and then he mentionned Jerez and how he turned an injury of six months into an injury of three years) (said that of course he has regrets about the decision of coming back so early (mentionned that yes at last it was his decision but the doctors gave him the okay first) but now it's done, he wouldn't do it again)

Max's dream team for Le Mans? he's been speaking with Fernando about it and Fernando said he would only want to do it with Max, Max said that he needs to find a lighter teammate (because Le Mans doesn't have minimum weights requirements for drivers and Max said he was "quite heavy") and that Fernando is light already, to which Marc said "I'm lighter than Fernando" while laughing

Marc & Max both said that it was easier to jump from 2 wheels to 4 wheels and Marc mentionned the example of Valentino

Marc said that it's harder to overtake on 4 wheels because of the space needed, yes it was nice to ride alone in the Red Bull Ring (with Mark Webber as his teacher) but he couldn't imagine himself in Monaco with 20 other cars around him

Marc : "When I tried the F1, it was easy because I had Mark Webber there, which was a super nice coach, he was saying to me "brake on that line" and you can arrive with the car and break on that line. Maybe if you lock a bit the front, okay, next lap I will break a bit, but with the bike, I can't tell Max "break on that line", because if he locks the front, he will crash on the gravel."

Max said that maybe he can maybe build up his way to MotoGP by riding Moto3 and Moto2 first and Marc said that he can jump Moto3 because he's too big for it (and Moto3 bikes are really small) but he will feel more comfortable on a Moto2

Marc talked about which parts of the RBR he enjoyed driving when he drove the Toro Rosso in 2017 (didn't like turn 3, enjoyed the high speed corners)

Max said that he can train his neck as much as he wants in the off-season, it will still be stiff at the end of the first day of testing (because in the end, the best training for your neck is still the driving)

Marc completed the previous point by saying it was the same thing for him, you can train in the gym and arrive fit for the tests in Malaysia but on the second day you're destroyed because your muscles are not working the same way when on the bike

Marc said that testing in Malaysia in the winter is the worst and joked that on the last day (which is when they usually test the long runs) they always wish for rain so they don't have to go out

[mochiajclayne]

thoughts on sasusaku + sarada and their...family

Will start this out by stating that this is a combination of observation and analysis so take it with a grain of salt.

(If you like sasusaku/ss, this ain't for you so please do yourself a favor and scroll away.)

naruhina + boruto version.

This is definitely the most fucked up thing to ever come in fruition in the sequel and they weren't even justified in Gaiden. LMAO. 

Diving into this family's issue at hand, it's pretty much about Sasuke being an absent father and being away from his family for more than a decade--not to mention that Sasuke is able to freaking report to the Hokage but not even pay a visit to his family.

Gaiden was pretty much good at covering the topic already but let's break down how dysfunctional it is:

The lack of evidence signified about Sasuke and Sakura being married. We see pictures of Sakura and Sarada at important moments of her life but not a single wedding photo. Sarada pretty much asking Sakura if she's really Sasuke's wife is valid because she won't doubt from the beginning if there was telltale evidence supporting that information. There isn't.

The "family" photo. Sasuke was roughly seventeen in that photo, not to mention it's next to Sakura who is in her 30s at that point. Isn't it strange? No updated photo since they got married? What's fucked up is that she had to cover up the rest of Taka behind that photo. That raised more questions, specifically, Sarada asking who those people are and who is the one wearing glasses like she does.

And, yeah. The glasses thing. It was a simple yes or no question. Sakura saying that she doesn't know is inane because they had spent time as Team 7 in the past, not to mention the sporadic moment they see each other (Orochimaru's hideout, that bridge where she tried to kill him but failed), and during the war. I don't know where she's looking but Sasuke hasn't worn glasses at all and if she can't answer that simple question, that says more about her. Anyway, that fed the idea that she doesn't know a single thing about her husband at all and Sarada notices this. Naruto who was able to say information about Sasuke unprompted, pretty much what Sarada needed to hear--yeah, I know. Shocker.

Sasuke's first meeting with Sarada. I've seen enough takes about him being an absent father. I'm not disagreeing with that. However, I present another perspective: Sasuke doesn't even know what his daughter looks like even though it's been shown that he was in Konoha at the time that Naruto is already Hokage (which would mean Sarada would be around seven or eight years old) and Sakura is in that same room, too. You're telling me that she couldn't have at least fucking introduce Sarada and Sasuke to each other? It's easy to shift the blame to the absent father because he simply isn't there but when Sakura, who knows the mission and with uncertainties on its duration, couldn't have made the initiative to simply give the kid an assurance that yeah, this is your dad, he exists and to Sasuke, she's Sarada and she's seven and she wears glasses. If making them meet is too much, at least a fucking photo would suffice it. But no. Nothing of the sort coming from Sakura. Why? Because she's okay with Sasuke being absent. She doesn't see any issue with it.

Communication. This is a controversial take and I will keep it simple. If Naruto and Sasuke can communicate and contact each other, what's stopping Sakura from reaching out to Sasuke? Isn't she his wife? She could literally write her own letter and send it alongside Naruto's but no efforts had been made on that. This is the benefit of the doubt but if Sakura at least reached out, then it's up to Sasuke to either intentionally ignore that or respond to her. My point here is initiative--it has been shown time and time again that she can do that, we've seen instances of it in the prequel. Did she stop because she finally got what she wants and is content with whatever crumbs she could hold on to? 

Sarada's birth. The sketchiest of them all. Some people wrote excellent analysis on this so please do check them out. My two cents on this is Orochimaru discussing cloning to Naruto and pretty much piquing Sarada's curiosity about the concept (which later on led to DNA testing as courtesy of Suigetsu). Sasuke pretty much reacted this way:

Usually, ellipsis in media is used when the character is pondering/thinking about something. It also represents speechlessness or a pause. Now tell me, if Sarada's birth isn't sketchy and was in some sort of way, normal, why did Sasuke casted that wayward side glance? The entirety of Gaiden as well as this page was meant to make the readers question Sarada's conception. For a backstory, Kishimoto sure left more questions than answers.

Everything is unconventional like Sakura not keeping the umbilical cord and Karin has it instead, no records at Konoha Hospital when Sakura works there and can coordinate with the proper department/s to handle paperworks, traveling while pregnant (ma'am you are a medic-nin, make it make sense), etc. I will leave this as it is, again, it has been discussed extensively by various blogs here.

In conclusion, even in adulthood, Naruto and Sasuke knows each other best. They become expert parents (at least) around each other's kids. In a fucked up way, I think it's a silent cry for help aka look I'm good with your kid and we could've been good parents together but we were forced into these marriages.

Sasusaku ended up canon but it still doesn't change the fact that Sakura knows little to nothing about Sasuke to the point that Sarada picked up on that and even threw it at her face. At the end of the day, Naruto remained as the one and only that knows Sasuke's heart best.

[justsasuke]

Still thinking about this panel because Karin is standing there like she’s allergic to cats and is afraid of them rubbing up against her bc they will make her eyes swell and water

and Suigetsu is looking at the cats like he wants to touch them but is apprehensive because Kirigakure definitely has crazy superstitions about cats being curses incarnate (he’s curious but doesn’t want to get cursed)

And obviously we know what Juugo is mad about hahaha

And then to top it all off Sasuke brought catnip which means he went to an actual store to buy some and that mental image is so good.

Just imagine Team Taka stopping in a random town at some dinky pet shop where Juugo has to stoop to get in the door and Suigetsu feels weird about the fish kept in tanks and meanwhile Sasuke is talking to the confused store clerk like “one bottle of your finest catnip please. No I don’t own cats, I just need it. Thanks”

And you know Sasuke didn’t tell the team they were even going to the Uchiha hideout in the first place (or even if he did he didn’t mention The Cats). He just woke up one day and was like “guys we need catnip” and everyone went along with it bc they’re chill like that and didn’t feel the need to ask questions

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - City Girls Part 5/8

The plot is twisting is all I can say about this chaotic chapter. 😮‍💨

Reader plays for the Man City girls academy. She struggles a bit but gets Ruben to mentor her. The the two don't hit off despite having many things in common. It all gets worse when Reader eventually catches feelings for Ruben.

Enjoy!

"You did what, with who?"

"Sshhh! Can you be any louder?"

You peered down the long line of girls before passing Ester the ball. She passed it on to the next person since coach had the team playing tiki taka for today's morning session.

"But Y/N, isn't Ruben...?"

"It doesn't matter what he is." You whispered. "He freak out on me right after and told me to leave his apartment."

"Well, can you blame him? This could end his career."

"Don't be so dramatic. Yes I'm in the academy but I'm not a minor."

"Does it matter? It's inappropriate. People might think he's been taking advantage of you since you met through the private lessons he's been giving you. Ruben could be suspendend from his team and so could you Y/N."

"I dunno." You muttered. "It seemed like something else was bothering him. Maybe I did something wrong?"

"Did he enjoy it? You know...until he kicked you out?"

"I think so."

"And did you...enjoy it?"

You thought back to that night. Ruben had seemed hesitant at first. And the ointment...so awkward.

"Y/N?"

"But then it wasn't...awkward. It was nice, just the two of you, kissing and humping.

"Y/N?"

Ruben seemed so eager to please you, not giving you a chance to return the favor.

"Y/N?"

"Yes!" You blurred out. "I enjoyed it."

Taken aback, Coach looked to Ester then back to you. "Well I'm glad you enjoy my training session Y/N, but that's not what I asked you?"

"I'm sorry coach."

You hadn't notice him blow the whistle. All the girls except for you and Ester had scattered from the line, leaving the field. Training was over.

"What was it you asked me, again?"

He sighed. "I said, it's best you head to the cafeteria and get yourself a snack before the first team start their session."

"I'm training with the first team?" You gasped joyfully.

"Yes, now go on. I've been putting in a good word for ya'. They won't like it if you're late."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you coach.

I won't disappoint you."

He laughed. "I am as hopeful as you are. Good luck."

"Can I come too?" Ester asked.

"I'm sorry Hofman, not this time?"

You looked at her remorsfully. "I promise to bring you som eggs on toast from the cafeteria."

Her smile was crooked. "Thanks Y/N and good luck. I'll see you back home."

You went your separate ways. By the time you got to the main building your stomach was aching for something to eat. To your luck the cafeteria resembled any five star hotel with a continental breakfast. You rushed to grab a plate since you didn't have much time. You piled on all your favorite foods and extra portions of protein. Ruben told you that it was possible for coach to let you play football the way you wanted to, you just had to get bigger and stronger. That starts with upping your calory intake.

"Slow down Rio or you'll choke on a sausage."

The mountain of food on your plate turned alot of heads as you made your way through the cafeteria. Not to mention the banter it caused when you joined some of the girls on the first team at their table.

"Are they starving you at home?" A girl joked.

"Chloe, be nice."

"The food here is just so good." You said, which was half the truth. Somthing told you to keep you intentions of gaining weight to yourself.

"Are you jokin'? No one fancies british cuisine. What do they serve in Brazil, cockroaches?"

The girls laughed.

"Chloe." The captain groaned. She was nice. Stephanie was her name. She always made sure that you felt included the times you played with the first team. She had been the one to wave you over to join the girls for breakfast. However, at the moment, you regretted not having ate before you left the house this morning. Now you had to hurry, doing so by stuffing your face with food before heading back out. But as you went to dump your tray, you bumped into something solid on your way out of the cafeteria.

"Sorry." You blushed, but quickly stiffened seeing who you had bumped into. "Oh, Ruben. Hi."

"Hey."

"H...how's it going?"

He was accompanied by a friend, perhaps his teammate. Either way, Ruben didn't find it necessary to introduce the two of you. Fortunately his friend was raised well enough to greet a stranger.

"Bernardo." He shook your hand. "But you can call me Ruben Dias personal wingmam."

You smiled. He was funny. At least he had more humor than Ruben, who looked to want to be anywhere else but there, with you."

"We should...." He muttered, pointing somewhere towards the foodline in the cafeteria.

You were disappointed. And you wanted to ask Ruben if you were still training later this afternoon, or had what happened between you change things?

"I'll see you." He said, which practically answered your question. The two of you went your separate ways. You had a lump in your throat stepping back onto the football field.

"Pass the ball Rio!"

There was a clear differences in quality when it came to playing with the women's first team. They trained with a higher tempo than the academy and included more drills during their training sessions. It was a slight adjustments for you, but not too difficult.

"Come on Y/N, at least keep up the pace!" Their coach shouted.

"Uh-oh." You stopped running. A twinge in your stomach had you place a hand to your belly as you stood in the middle of the football field.

"Come on Y/N, keep it moving!"

You tried to move, but every attempt to take another step seemed to trigger something from deep within. Somthing on the verge of erupting. The pain was sharp and intense, and it all seemed to be spreading throughout your entire body.

"Y/N, you okay?" Their coach blew the whistle, pausing the game.

You tried to shake off the pain, but it was no use. You doubled over, clutching your stomach, letting out a bubbly groan. The players gathered around you. "Um, I think she's gonna...."

Hurl.

Throw up.

Vomit.

Whatever word best described what came out of you. It was warm, blending easly with the grass on the pitch. The other players ran away, screaming in terror. Their coach was the one to help you back to he main building, to the infirmary where you now sat in shame, waiting for Ester to come and pick you up. Your head banged against the wall as you sat on the sickbed, almost tuning out the sound of a light knock on the door.

"Ester?"

"It's me?"

Your back left the wall, seeing Ruben appear in the door. He stepped into the small room, shutting the door behind him.

"I heard what happened. Bernardo and I were just on our way out when..."

"Great." You sighed. How would you ever live this down?

"What happened, were you sick?"

He was truly concerned. Strange, you thought, since Ruben had given you the coldest of shoulders for days, not responding to any of your calls or text messages.

"Can I get you anything, water, ice...?"

"How about a toothbrush and a mint?"

He frowned.

"And a rocket. Yes." You smiled. "Something to take me off this planet immediately."

"Come on, Y/N." He approached where you sat on the bed. You hated yourself for making him room to sit down next to you. Nevertheless, that's what he did, sympathetically bringing his hand to your back, rubbing it. "Anyone can get sick." He said.

You squinted your eyes in pain, his sympathy along with the embarrassment, was all too much. "The first team are never gonna let me play with them again."

"Come on Y/N, don't say that."

"But it's true Ruben and it's all your fault."

"My fault." Ruben sat back, eyebrows furrowed. "What did I do?"

"You told me to get bigger so that I could dribble." You hissed.

"And what exactly did you do to achieve that?" He asked curiously.

"I stuffed my face, of course."

Ruben threw his head back, laughing.

"It's not funny." You groaned. Although the crinkle that appeared in the corner of his eyes when he smiled was simply a sight for sore eyes. He wiped a tear. "Y/N, I never told you to stuff your face. Do you know how dangerous and damaging that could be for your body. There are far more healthier ways to gain weight."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that? You're the expert and wouldn't even return my texts."

"Y/N." Ruben's hand got off your back, leaving a missing feeling. He stood. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

"What exactly? You giving me the greatest orgasm in my life, just to show me the door right after?"

"Y/N."

"What Ruben? If you don't have anything else to say to me I suggest you leave." You lowered your head. "Maybe then you'll know what it feels like."

"I'm sorry." A set of warm hands went to tilt your face. Ruben's brown eyes were staring back at you with the deepest sincerity. "Like I said, I never meant for any of this to happen. I was never meant to fall for you Y/N."

"What?" You must have been mistaken.

Ruben smiled. And for a moment he looked hesitant but then his lips grasped yours in a soft yet exciting kiss. You grinned once his face pulled away from yours.

"What?" He asked.

"Do it again." You whispered.

He chuckled, but leaned in to peck your lips once more, planting an additional kiss on top of your nose.

"So...does this mean we're still on for this afternoon?"

Ruben sigh was heavy. "Like I said Y/N, I'll gladly help you become a better football player, but whatever you and I have ends here. I have a girlfriend and she can't find about what happened between us."

You felt cold, drained from all the warmth in your body, including the blood that paled your face. "Y...you have a what?" His hands still held your face, but with a swift tugg you had him remove them.

"A girlfriend Y/N. I'm sorry to have to tell you like this but like I said, what happened between us was never supposed to be. Besides, I could get in alot if trouble with the club, not to mention the media if they ever found out."

"I can't believe this." You sighed. Ester was right. You were such a fool.

"But don't worry. If we keep things professional between us I can still...."

"Get out."

"What?"

You spoke too low. Ruben didn't hear you. And so you took a deep breath. "I said, get the fuck out of here. Out of this room and out of my life."

"Y/N?"

"Now, Ruben, I mean it. Get the fuck out!"

"Y/N, let's not....we can still be together just not...."

You hopped off the bed. Furious that Ruben would get to see you cry. "OUT!" You shouted, escorting him towards the door. Unlucky for you he didn't get far. In the doorway as the door came ajar, stood Ester, her head turned to the side, flashing you an eavesdropping ear.

"Ester?" You frowned. "What are you..."

She perked up. "I'll tell coach."

"Ester?" You said, with a graver tone.

"Don't try and make excuses, I already know that the two of you are sleeping together." Her voice was unsteady. Ruben looked to you, rightfully confused. "And who are you?" He asked bluntly.

"Your worst nightmare." Ester said, with a glare you had never seen on her before. It was eveil, desperate and deceiving.

"Ester please, you don't know..."

"Schluss mit der Scheiße, Y/N." (Cut the shit Y/N.) "I already know that the two of you are fucking, you told me so yourself."

"Why are you doing this?" You asked,  desperate to know how Ester, your friend,  could dare threaten everything your family has worked so hard for you to achieve.

"I deserve to play with the first team." She said. The words sounding childish and timid coming out of her mouth.

"But..." You stuttered. "If that's all it is..." Why hadn't she spoken to coach or simply work harder, you thought.

"Don't you see." She laughed. "With you on the team, the brazilian football protégé from the streets of Rio, I'll never get a chance." To your suprise Ester was crying. "I am already overseen by coach simply because I got stuck with you as my roommate. Now I've got to hear about you going on and on about some guy who clearly is only interested in fucking you."

"Okay, that's it. I've heard enough." Ruben had thought to do the right thing to let Ester explain herself. But the more he did, the  more he let her talk, the more he saw how much it hurt you, and so he put an end to it. "Let's go." He said, grabbing your hand, leading you out of the infirmary. Ester was left behind, along with her half hearted threats.

"Ruben whatta....Where are you taking me?" You felt like vomiting again and you had a throbbing headache.

"Minha casa. Você vem para ficar comigo." (My place. You're coming to stay with me.)

"What?"

"I'm not letting you stay with that girl, whoever she was. She was clearly out of her mind."

"But Ruben I can't." You tried to tugg your arm free, however Ruben was way too strong. He barley budged.

"Y/N, please don't fight me on this one. You can stay with me, I have a spare bedroom."

"What about your girlfriend?"

He froze. In the midst of pulling you out of the main building, Ruben froze. The grip he had around your arm loosen a little. He ran his free hand down his face, tired, perhaps of arguing. "Like I said Y/N, I'm partly responsible for this mess. Just trust that I'll take care of it. I want to take care of it. But for now let me take care of you."

[moumouton4]

Can you do orochimaru who is possessive, have blood kink, fuck hard and her y/n is jiraya’s little sister and he know her since the second shinobi war

Blood Kink Hc || Orochimaru x fem!reader

A/n : Hello dear I really hope you'll like this. I found the idea of a blood kink for Oorochimaru really interesting as he - for me - is kinda snake related in multiple ways 😏

A/n 2 : Only one mention of being a female but the rest is gender neutral

Warnings : Kind-ish possessive attitude, blood kink, hard fucking, mention of breeding, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 785

He could have left Konohagakure alone after the Second Shinobi war like he intended to son after it ended. He could have left alone if he didn’t know you. But he did. And so he left with you

He couldn’t leave you there, surrounded by fools after all

And most importantly he didn’t want to. No he wanted you close, very close to him. If he could he would always keep you at an arm's reach

But well at first he doesn’t want you to get scared and leave him ( please if this was a yandere hc he would have chained you to some wall waiting for you to come back to your senses… but unfortunately it’s not 😂 )

But he knows he can trust you so if you wanna leave his cave for the day he is fine with it - tries to be fine with it

His possessiveness shows back when you return for your strolls

When you walk near his sitting form, he can’t help but grip your hips and pull you on his lap. Now with his arms securely wrapped around your waist he knows nothing can happen to you

He isn’t really fond of your spending times with the TAKA team

He fears that Jûgo is going to lose control and hurt you

He thinks Karin will have a bad influence on you - yes even if you are older than the red headed girl

He doesn’t like how Suigetsu speaks and playfully flirts with you sometimes - but believe me if you were to say yes Suigetsu wouldn’t be that playful anymore 😏

And first and foremost, he HATES with passion how you managed to build a bond of mutual trust with Sasuke

Like just why

He tries his best to keep them away from you either by scaring them. Or giving them mission that sometimes he doesn’t even need

Anyways

Someday you come home bloodied. You fell into an ambush and sliced your arm open slightly. Not enough to be serious, but enough to drip blood

When he saw your bloodied arm and listened to your explanation. You swear you’ve never seen him make such a face before

He looked really angry at first. He was surely losing it and this close to get out and got slaughter anyone who dared to harm you

Though on the other side, the more he looked at your injured arm and the blood dripping from it, the more a hungry and animalistic gaze was appearing on his face

“Come closer my Dear. Let me check it out for you” he said in a smooth voice

He delicately took your arm and scanned it cautiously. The red seemed to match perfectly with your skin tone

Then he brought it near his face and breathed in the scent of your blood. He couldn’t help but hum at the smell as if approving it

“Would you let me just…” he didn’t even finish his sentence that you felt his warm tongue lick a bit of blood off your arm - not directly on the injury though

As the taste of iron spread across her tongue, staining it red "Mmmh that taste divine my dear. Here let me just help you clean up. We don't want you to hurt yourself further now, would we ?"

So accordingly to his words he helped you to patch your arm, after of course licking off all the blood that spread on your arm

But it seemed he didn’t have enough yet. The blood seemingly stirring a flame inside him. He wanted to have you now. He needed to have you

“Y/n my Love…” he breathed in “You would mind letting me ravish you tonight ?” his voice was trembling due to his increasing arousal

So after you gave your consent and he made sure not to hurt your arm further, he climbed on top of you

It started off slow like usual but then he increased his pace. The blood he tasted working like a fuel for his body

His hips literally pounded you, pinning you face first, flush against the mattress, using all his weight to hold you into place

As he fucked roughly your whining formed under him, he still didn’t know how he did not to know you before that damn war

As you were Jiraiya’s sister. I mean damn those two were mostly always together - well it’s more Jiraiya who wanted somebody with him while he was perving but still

But anyways, now that he had you he wasn’t intending on letting you go any time soon

And would you think about leaving him if you were carrying his hatching… 👀😮

~

~

A/n : I hope you guys liked it ! 🧁🥓 Again my requests are open 🍰🍗

Taglist : @foxxymunson, @cl0vr, @ilovemanypeople, @glossy1pearl, @jane57sstuff

[hellcifrogs]

Wait wait! Sannin Swap AU is giving me so many feelings!

Red eyed Naruto is looking like an unhinged Minato and I bet that with time he will use Talk no Jutsu on Orochimaru and somewhat redeem him??? Naruto trained by Tsunade thooooooo!!! FAMILY BONDING! She did see Nawaki on him, so I guess she would take it as a second chance maybe? And I snorted at "now he's the Hokage grandson" LOL

Jiraya as Sakura's proud uncle HECK YES! And after Aburame Sakura with pink beetles now we have Sakura with pink snakes. I love it! Also HECK YES GIRL END KABUTO! Also, SakuKarin if Sakura finds Team Taka?

Sasuke being trained by Jiraya might make him the village's hero (btw love his clothes) but Sasuke being trained by Tsunade? The last Uchiha being trained by the last Senju????? Madara and Tobirama are rolling in their graves and Hashirama and Izuna are watching benevolently hahahahaha He will singlehandedly end the division that exists since before the village was stablished!

Minato + Kushina (unhinged Uzumaki) = Naruto (little unhinged Minato looking gremlin). It's simple.

Tsunade is Naruto's grandma in my heart and no one can take that from me. It's simple <3

SAKUKARIN FOR SURE! Who do you think I am? 💖 there's even an extra idea I'm organizing to post later where any of the 3 could find Karin to team up, and Snake! Sakura would STILL end up with her.

The Uchiha x Senju peacemaking thing never really meant much to me... until I realized Sasuke could do it! From time to time people mention ideas for how that could be, either Sakura getting more into the Senju side (with mokuton or as Tsunade's legacy) and so SasuSaku could symbolize that peace, or just making things clearer with Naruto's chakra so that it made more sense idk NOW Sasuke doing it alone >:) by himself, being the best version of and for Hashirama's dream of the village and clearing the Uchiha name along the way! Pls😖💖

[dog-gerz]

Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, Neji with a reader who has a bijuu

Not the request we asked, but the request we so desperately needed 😭😭😭

Warnings: Mentions of 🩸and d*ath on Sasuke’s part. Gender neutral reader. Not proof readed, I wrote this on my phone.

A/N: this ask wasn’t really specific on the form or anything so I went wild 🤪

Again, i’m sorry for any mistakes in the grammar or the spelling, english is not my first language.

————————————————————————

Sasuke:

🍅You two met before he joined the Akatsuki. You too were village-less ninja, a rogue, another victim of the unfairness of the decisions of the power-thirsty wandering the forests, prairies and desserts of the different nations on the map.

🍅 You joined him, after all, you had nowhere else to go and the flag you and team Taka waved was similar.

🍅 You kept the whole Jinchuriki thing as a secret. It had brought you too much pain in times past, you didn’t need more of that.

🍅 Sasuke saw a little bit of his old best friend in you. Both of you carried around that same sense of loneliness and an aura of guilt and melancholy. He was naturally drawn to you as he was to Naruto when they were young.

🍅 You grew close and made an oath to protect eachother. Taka became your family and he became your best companion.

🍅 It wasn’t until one day, during a fight against some bounty hunters that were after Sasuke, that he got hurt and the rage that bubbled inside of you weakened the seal.

🍅 Some of the chakra of the tailed beast within you enveloped you in a coat of anger and bloodlust, completely blinded and stripped of your will, tearing the enemies to pieces.

🍅 By the time you came to your senses, there was nothing but destruction in front of you. You had done it again… and your heart sank impossibly deep.

🍅 But that dark feeling was shaken away from you the moment Sasuke reassuringly placed his hand on your shoulder. You saw support, he saw a chance of making his ultimate dream come true.

Naruto:

🍥 You, alongside Bee, were on the team of teaching Naruto how to control his Bijuu and use its power.

🍥 You had become a perfect Jinchuriki, just like bee, so when you were offered the chance to help the blond Ninja, you immediately said yes.

🍥 Before his Jinchuriki training, Naruto hadn’t met other people like him. His whole life he was hated, judged and humiliated for carrying something evil inside him. Seeing you and bee so strong and confident on the power within you made him feel somehow disadvantaged.

🍥 But it also gave him the impulse he needed to pursue the same path.

🍥 He always had been confident on the fact that he could achieve anything if he had set his mind into it, and, after meeting you and hearing your own story, he knew it was true.

🍥 It was like looking at himself in the mirror. You had gone through hell, just like him, but there were you standing… powerful and brave.

🍥 Your strength inspired him, so he worked hard to conquer that part of himself he hated the most. If you had done it so flawlessly, how couldn’t he?

Sakura:

🌸 She was introduced to you by The Fifth.

🌸 All Hokages knew what to do in case the seal was weakened or broken and, because Tsunade was passing most of her knowledge to her brilliant apprentice, she summoned Sakura to learn the process.

🌸 What she remembers the most about the first time she saw you was how “normal” you looked.

🌸 Well, her experience with other Jinchuriki was limited to Naruto only and the blonde ninja was really far from being normal.

🌸 And she wasn’t sure of what to expect when Tsunade talked to her about you, so it was a nice surprise to say the least.

🌸 She treated you kindly the whole time, as if it was a way to redeem herself on the way she treated Naruto in the past. She knew the stress most Jinchuriki went through and she didn’t wanted that to affect her task or your relationship (platonic or not).

🌸 At first, it was only going to be another learning experience for her, but she found a friend in you and someone to protect. After meeting you and helping you, she felt strong enough to show Naruto and Sasuke how much she had improved

🌸 Her aspiration of no longer looking at the backs of her teammates, but walking alongside them, was becoming a reality.

Neji:

🌀 It were his exceptional abilities as a shinobi that had him assigned as your guard. He was the first of his generation of ascending to the Jonin rank, he was more than capable for the job.

🌀 You were the Sanbi Jinchuriki so you were considered important part of Konoha’s war power. Your security was top tier priority.

🌀 Neji took his role very seriously and went everywhere with you even if you insisted that you didn’t need protection. He followed you like your shadow.

🌀 Besides the possibility of the Sanbi being stolen by the enemy, there was the risk of the seal breaking. A disaster like the one that happened with the Kyuubi was out of the question, he wasn’t going to let it happen.

🌀 For him, at the beginning, it was another task, another part of his path of becoming stronger and honouring the name of his clan, but as he spent more time with you, you two became really close.

🌀 So of course he got more protective because he started to care about you for real.

🌀 He knew that the responsibility of carrying such a beast inside you weighted heavily on your shoulders so he tried to make it less terrible for you by trying to distract you and helping you carry a somewhat normal life.

🌀 He helped you train to release your pent up frustration, teaching you meditation to sharpen your senses and let you vent when you are were too stressed.

🌀 Being a Jinchuriki was hard, but with him by your side, wasn’t that bad.

————————————————————————

I loved writing this one so much!! Specially Naruto’s part. I remember crying so much watching that arc 😭😭 thank you so much for your request!

[watermelonsloth]

I was digging through old texts and found propaganda I wrote for team taka being a polycule

This is my formal apology for not mentioning them in my “what I ship” post.

1. Sasuke was a sort of “awakening” for all of them. He was the first person to show Karin kindness, he was the first person to inspire Suigetsu into loyalty, and he was the first person to make Juugo feel safe/secure enough to freely interact with people

2. Sasuke chose each of them specifically, a sign that he respects all of them

3. Sasuke was willing to die for team taka and refused to leave any one of them behind against Killer Bee

4. Suigetsu risked his life to give team taka a chance at escape against Killer Bee

5. When Sasuke saw he accidentally hit Karin with Amaterasu, it was upsetting enough that he unlocked one of his mangekyou sharingan abilities

6. Suigetsu went through the trouble of freeing Juugo and finding Sasuke during the war

7. Team taka offers support to Sasuke without actively trying to force their beliefs into him or “fix” him like so many others do

8. Juugo helps out Suigetsu and Karin even when he doesn’t have to

9. Karin lets down her walls in front of team taka and no one else

10. After Shippuden, Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo all decide to stick together

11. In the Boruto anime, there’s an entire arc of Karin and Suigetsu trying to help Juugo

12. Sasuke doesn’t drop them after completing his goal of killing Itachi despite only using them initially

13. All of them have an interesting dynamic with each other

14. All of them have similar traumas and have shown that they understand each other

15. They all knew Sasuke well enough to see how he was acting during the five kage summit and not only knew that something was up but were actively concerned (though my memory’s a little fuzzy here about Suigetsu and Juugo, I know for fact Karin falls under this)

16. They all knew Sasuke well enough to know he was back to normal when they met up with him during the war arc

17. All of team taka know how to and are capable of restraining and calming down Juugo

18. All of team taka can see through Karin’s act

19. All of team taka know how to reel in Suigetsu

20. Team taka knew that Sasuke was using them and still chose to follow him

21. Sasuke gave team taka seals that would inform them if he had been reversed summoned

22. Suigetsu thought Karin and Sasuke were close enough to have had a child

23. Both Karin and Juugo have nearly pushed themselves to chakra exhaustion induced death to save other members of team taka

24. Both Karin AND Suigetsu find Sasuke attractive

25. Suigetsu and Juugo were sparing partners while with Orochimaru

26. Suigetsu was right there to help Karin against Guruguru Zetsu

27. Both Suigetsu and Juugo have shown a fondness for animals

28. They were close enough that Sasuke abandoning/hurting team taka was used by Kishimoto to demonstrate him falling into darkness

29. Sasuke puts his life in taka's hands on multiple occasions (most notably after his fight with Deidara, during the fight against Killer Bee, and during the Five Kage Summit)

30. The entire team taka vs Killer Bee fight

31. Suigetsu is so invested in Sasuke and Karin’s love life that Juugo felt the need to ask him about it

32. Sasuke trusted team taka enough to ask them for help in completing his goal to kill Itachi, something he didn’t even trust team seven with

33. Karin is physically affectionate with Sasuke (something he was shown to be neutral towards up until her personality switch in the war arc) but stops whenever he tells her to

34. Sasuke took a detour in his goal to help Suigetsu get the executioner’s blade

35. Juugo and Karin worry about Sasuke during the war

36. Both Sasuke and Karin are from dying clans

37. Karin goes to Juugo for help to get the Konoha ninja off their trail

38. Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin all have the shared trauma of being used as experiments by Orochimaru

39. Juugo has sworn himself to protect Sasuke

40. Karin unlocks the chain jutsu in her panic to save Sasuke

[generouskittensong]

Karin understands Sasuke the most compared to any other character!

Find me one manga page where Sakura actually mentions why she likes Sasuke. It’s straight mental illness she still married the guy who degraded her and tried to murder her. Karin has quite literally on multiple occasions mentioned the way Sasuke functions and she knows how he is like. Furthermore, Karin has the absolutely amazing ability to sense people’s emotions through chakra, hence, after staying with him through team taka, she probably understood him and how he felt more than anybody did his entire life.

Karin also has the ability of cognitive empathy.

What is cognitive empathy?

This refers to how well an individual can perceive and understand the emotions of another. Cognitive empathy, also known as empathic accuracy, involves “having more complete and accurate knowledge about the contents of another person's mind, including how the person feels,” Hodges and Myers say.

Sakura? Trash! Naruto? Trash! Both are selfish and want Sasuke for their own gain and to feel validated while Karin is the embodiment of a character who wants nothing more than to see that broken boy smile oonce again and to see him happy while her past is no less than his. Is Sasuke happy? Heck, no!!

[arogustus]

Splatband Analysis - SashiMori

(Disclaimer: This analysis is based on what I get out of looking into the character descriptions we have of the splatband characters. If you disagree with what I say, that is fine, we are all beheld to our opinions. Just don't be a jerk about it.)

SashiMori. The band best known for several things. Giving us the dopest trailer of Splatoon 2, having Da Boy, Paul, as a member, and of course the ever present mystery of the mysterious former lead singer. Let’s talk about them.

The band

SashiMori started life as a loud rock band, Ryu-Chang, Karla and Taichi alongside the mysterious vocalist. According to Taichi’s descriptions, it seems he’s the one who founded the band in the first place, but lost control of it to their self-centered, authoritarian vocalist. We have yet to learn the identity of this strange, mysterious person… but we’re pretty sure it’s Pearl. Like, it’s mentioned in Karla’s section in Haikara Walker that the vocalist of the band before SashiMori (the context here either means a different band they were in or SashiMori itself before they took on the name, it’s vague) had vocals so strong only they were capable of handling it. We know Pearl was a death metal artist who wrecked her venues a lot, and it’s not a guess to say she was probably a lot more domineering before meeting Marina. They actually asked Nogami himself about this fact, and said it was up to our imagination. That’s just a roundabout way of saying “yes, but we’re not gonna tell you that.”

Eitherway, the other three kicked their vocalist and stuck together as an instrumental band before deciding to search for a new one. Clearly the three were close enough that they willingly stuck together and united against a common foe in order to keep playing without problems. So, they put out an application of fish Twitter, and that’s where Paul comes in. They laughed at first, seeing such a smol bean trying to join the big leagues. But once he wowed them, they made him the centerpiece of the band's sound, and SashiMori was born.

They also got to make an appearance in the White Day artwork, chilling with the homies of Bottom Feeders and Hightide Era. Well, all but one of them. You’ll see why in a bit.

Ryu Chang

Our big man Ryu is first. He’s a carp who grew up in a prestigious home at the base of Mount Nantai (another Pearl reference, seriously), who became a punk during his teen years and an established drummer after that. He was 35 in Splatoon 2, and that back in 2018, meaning he should be at least 41 by now (we are growing ever older every day). There isn’t much of a description of what he’s like now, but he did have a rebellious teenager phase at least, so it’s likely all that punk ideology stuff has carried on into adult life. He illustrates as a hobby, and created the little mascot you see in SashiMori’s album art, Mr. Wasabi. Wonder what the little guy is about.

He’s got a Rainmaker team going on with Kuze and Blow, Underpass Bass Drum, so he’s active in the Turfing scene. And as we established, the two also showed up in the Deep Sea Metro concert to perform for a bit. One thing I wanna note is that it’s considered an impromptu performance. They didn’t plan to perform together at the place, which begs the question: what were they doing in the Deep Sea Metro? Were they simply attending and got dragged on stage… wait, actually that makes sense. 

He’s kinda hard to read in the White Day Art. He’s sitting with Blow and Taka, and we know he’s friends with Blow. The only other thing to tell is that he’s very much watching Finn and Tangle fight, but his eternal fish face makes it hard to tell what he feels about it. Concern? Annoyance? Attraction? Who knows.

Karla

Karla is a mystery. They’re very quiet, their age is a mystery, and no one even knows how they eat! Well, actually, according to science, the Scaly-Foot Gastropod doesn’t eat at all, but rather relies on symbiosis with bacteria living inside them to get nutrition. Sooo, yeah, lady just doesn’t eat anything. Neat. 

That’s what their description focuses on, being very quiet and mysterious. Doesn’t even respond to questions during interviews, just goes “...” and that’s it. Obviously no indication that they outright can’t talk, just that they rarely do. They’re the silent type, maybe out of shyness, maybe because they just don’t have much to say, or maybe a third thing. At least it’s stated they don’t have bad intentions, so you know, they’re not evil. 

Fun fact, Karla’s design is actually reused from an old concept for one of the Denizens of the Deep that would show up in the train. While that is concept stuff that didn’t make it in, and doesn’t mean that them being from the Metro is true, the evidence does point to it being a possibility. Would certainly explain their quirks.

Out of the four, Karla doesn’t show up in the White Day artwork. Finn is there, and she’s (evidently) female, so that wasn’t really a reason to stop them from showing up. Maybe they were hiding out of frame? Maybe they took the picture? Or maybe they’re just asocial and didn’t want to come hang. 

Taichi Sawaberu

Taichi is, as can be inferred from the text, the founder of the band. He created SashiMori cause he wanted to add singing to his music after mostly being an instrumentalist, which as we can tell didn’t end well. Is the most experienced member of the band, being an experienced studio musician and all, so he’s been in the business for a while. He also has a lot of activities outside of the band. Hobbies most likely. You know, stuff like surfing, competitive knitting, high stakes bingo, whatever other kinds of hobbies exist. He must get out a lot. 

Compared to the other two, he wasn’t fond of Paul at first. He thought he was, to quote, “tiny and awful.” Now, it’s hard to say if this actually applies to Paul for real, as from what we see, nothing really indicates him being an awful kid in any way. He did change his mind after a while, at least, so maybe he was just projecting onto him? If the Pearl theory is correct, it would actually make sense that he was projecting onto Paul his last experience with a small person. His opinion must be a lot more positive now.

We see in the White Day artwork that he’s having a spirited conversation with Nishida. Far as we know, Nishida is pretty introverted, so Taichi must have somehow gotten through to him. What they’re talking about is unknown, but let’s just place this as Taichi x Nishida friendship (wow!)

Paul

Autism be damned, that octo boy can work a turntable. Paul is the highlight of SashiMori, a ten year old octoling who’s the replacement of the previous singer. Instead of singing, though, he provides vocals by remixing them from whatever sources he’s got, including ancient human vinyls. He’s a DJ like most octolings, but he’s actually labeled a particular type of DJ. A turntablist, to be precise. 

I’m gonna give thanks to @porubiteki, a moot of mine who knows a ton about DJ stuff and did all this research well before I decided to do this series. A Turntablist is a type of DJ specializing in manipulating music in real time. It’s basically the record scratching you see TV DJ’s do, but far more focused on compared to other forms of DJing. You actually hear that a lot in SashiMori’s music, which features it far more than any other of the Splatoon DJ’s. It’s also a well respected title in the DJ world due to how difficult it is to master the technique, and considering how Paul is highlighted as highly talented to the point of wowing three experienced musicians, it's safe to say he’s worthy of the title. 

Personality wise, we don’t get too much. What we know is he remixes from a lot of other DJs, meaning he’s a fan of any DJ’s work. As highlighted above, he is very talented, which can only come from extensive work on his craft, especially for someone his age. Taichi thought of him as “tiny and awful”, but if the Pearl theory applies, it’s likely he was projecting onto Paul for being small. We see him playing chess, and humiliating his opponent Jawn in the process, so his smarts extend outside of DJ work too. Also, it’s well known that child prodigies tend to be a lot more mature for their ages, so it’s likely he might have some of those traits.

And now for the big question. Are he and Acht related or not? It’s a common question asked due to the fact he wears a beanie with a tag that has the same logo as DJ Def1sh, a crude doodle of an octopus face. Haikara Walker itself brings up the question, in the same paragraph as Acht’s potential relation to Marina. Specifically, they might be blood relatives, or just follow the same brand. Side Order revealed the Marina thing to be true… and it didn’t reveal anything about Paul. You had one job, Nintendo. 

While Karla is the one with the “mysterious past”, Paul here is probably the one where the trope fits the most. It’s because his existence raises a lot more questions than it answers. Regardless of what his relation to Acht is, it’s clear from that that he’s from the domes. So, what’s a kid his age doing on the surface? When did he get there? The fact he had a Squid Twitter account implies he’s been around long enough to get familiar with all that stuff. Why is he even on fish Twitter anyway? Doesn’t he know that shit can traumatize even adults? Does he have parents? If not, has he been homeless the entire time before meeting SashiMori? Cause a kid doesn’t just show up to a band audition without at least some implication of family having taken him there. Questions and questions. Where is he now? Nintendo, please, tell us where our boy is, WE BEG Y-

—

And that does it for SashiMori. We are now left with three bands. Hightide Era, Chirpy Chips and ω-3. 

[puroresu-musings]

NJPW THE NEW BEGINNING in Osaka Review (Feb 11th, Osaka EDION Arena)

Toru Yano & YOH vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & Boltin Oleg **

Bishamon vs. Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman ***1/4

Shota Umino, El Desperado, Tomoaki Honma & Tiger Mask vs. EVIL, Ren Narita, SHO & Yujiro Takahashi **1/4

Tetsuya Naito, Yota Tsuji, Shingo Takagi, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI vs. SANADA, Yuya Uemura, Taichi, DOUKI & TAKA Michinoku ***

Kazuchika Okada vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi ****1/2

IWGP Tag Team Championship - El Phantasmo & Hikuleo (c) vs. KENTA & Chase Owens **

Bryan Danielson vs. Zack Sabre Jr. *****

10 Man Dog Pound Cage Death Match - United Empire vs. Bullet Club War Dogs *****

Photos.

Wow, what a show this turned out to be. It started pretty ordinary, but ultimately had three exceptional bouts, one of which is the best match of 2024 so far. The show opened with CHAOS teammates Yano and YOH taking on Taguchi and Young Lion Shooter, Oleg. This was perfectly fine, but only went 3:45, so there really wasn't much to mention. YOH scored the win over Taguchi with a roll up. Next, UE Young Boy Callum Newman got a chance to shine in his tag match with O-Khan against Bishamon. This was a good little sprint, with the spirited Newman looking especially good. It wasn't to be his night, however, as he was put away by the veterans at 7:37 with Shoto.

The NJPW Babyfaces took on House of Torture next. This was your typical HoT match, beginning with a brawl, before the babyfaces got their shine, only to succumb to heelish shenanigans. After Dick Togo distracted the ref, Narita hit Tiger Mask with the Metal Plated Push Up Bar Of Doom, before SHO pinned him with a Shock Arrow in 8:43. Post match saw SHO steal Despe's IWGP Jr. Belt and proclaim himself the new champion, so we've got yet another HoT stolen belt deal, and Desperado seems destined to feud with these dorks for his entire reign. This was followed by pretty much the same LIJ vs. J5G match we've seen all tour now. It was a good outing, but I can't say that I'm interested in any of this, aside from Tsuji and Uemura's Hair Match in Sapporo at the end of the match. The two youngsters carried the action in this one, which culminated in SANADA tapping out BUSHI at 11:05 with Skull End to go strong into his Title Match with Naito on the 24th.

Perhaps the final ever Okada vs. Tanahashi match followed, twelve years to the day that the Rainmaker Shock happened in this very same building that made Okada a Superstar. This was excellent, emotional stuff that was by no means the best match these two have ever had, but it was a great send-off for what is perhaps the greatest, most consistent feud ever. I've potentially gone a tad high with the rating, but I don't care, I'm sticking with it, as this one had me invested from the minute the entrances happened. The Osaka faithful were super into this, loudly chanting for Okada at the start, going crazy throughout. Tana, who's definitely in "office shape" at the moment, even turned back the clocks and hit the High Fly Body Attack to the floor, which was awesome. After getting the knees up on a HFF attempt, Okada nailed the Tombstone, but Tana turned the Rainmaker into a small package for a great near fall. After some back and forth which the crowd were totally into, Okada hit a beautiful dropkick, a Landslide, and a Rainmaker to put the President away at 16:50 with one final Rainmaker. The pair embraced in the post match, and a teary bowed to the Lion Mark and Okada bid farewell to Osaka. He only has two matches left in his NJPW career in Sapporo, which should be similarly emotional occasions, and hey, who knows, maybe he could even put someone over on his way out (nudge nudge, wink wink).

The IWGP Tag Title bout that followed was something of a dampener, to say the least. This was the opposite of the last match, the crowd were dead for the most part, and it moved at the speed of smell. It was hovering around one star territory, but things picked up once Hikuleo got the hot tag and ran wild, but it was short lived as the ref got bumped, Taiji Ishimori ran in, hit his old pal ELP with a belt, then Hikuleo, which allowed KENTA to steal the win and the titles. Look, I know New Japan likes and rewards loyalty, and Chase Owens was there for them when they needed people badly, but the notion of him holding a major title in NJPW in 2024 is all kinds of bemusing. And to say the new GoD's Tag Title reign was a bit of a disappointment would be an understatement. These guys deserve better, and I honestly don't have the strength to watch another match between these teams after the two we've already seen so far this year.

Thankfully, things turned around in fantastic fashion with an absolutely perfect display of pro-wrestling between ZSJ and Bryan Danielson. This was a rematch of their 5 star classic in AEW last October, and it managed to surpass that match and is the best bout of 2024 so far. Outstanding grappling and counter sequences throughout this, Dragon used an arm wringer to send Sabre's legs into the ropes, which he then proceeded to work over the whole match with intense kicks and leglocks. Zack fought back, working over Danielson's neck. Lots of Romero Specials, Manjigatame's and Cobra Twists, before it broke down into a stiff strike exchange. Danielson hit a big Back Suplex off the top for a near fall, then tried Cattle Mutilation, which Sabre escaped and hit a Zack Driver for a near fall of his own. Dragon hit the stomps, then locked in the crazy arm submission he submitted Okada with, but Zack fought to the ropes. Another strike battle culminated in Danielson hitting the Busaiku Knee out of a backslide, but Sabre turned a second into a European Clutch, they exchanged great cradles, before ZSJ got the pin with a crucifix at 32:46 of fabulous action. The two shook hands afterwards, and now being 1-1, Danielson challenged Zack to a 2 out of 3 falls tiebreaker backstage, which I'm 100% down for. In the ring, ZSJ signalled he wanted a belt, then called out the winner of Naito/SANADA (despite what Chris Charlton might have claimed he said). I'm all for Zack winning the belt to be fair. I've lots to say about Naito being the champion again, which I'll refrain from, but all I will say is that the guy who holds the top belt in this company sure has felt like an after thought since winning.

Then the Dog Pound Cage main event that was also Will Ospreay's New Japan swan song. Look, theres way too much to even attempt to recap, and I went back and forth about going the full 5 stars on this one, as it did feature some stuff I really wasn't keen on. BUT, at the end of the day, these 10 guys put on an absolute spectacle of bloody drama and craziness, and it's definitely not a match I'll forgot any time soon, and a tremendous post match. They had an impossible task in following the previous match, but they had an equally blow-away outing, that was the complete wrestling polar opposite. This was set up like that classic ROH vs. CZW Cage of Death from 2006, in that the cage encircled ringside as opposed to the ring itself, and was fought under War Games rules, with guys coming out every two minutes.

Ospreay and Finaly started, with Ospreay convincing Finlay to let them fight for 5 minutes. Lots and lots of crazy stuff followed, which included the heels bringing out a ton of plunder, Akira hitting an incredible dive off the cage onto the War Dogs before Connors gave him a big spear through an upright table in the corner, Gabe Kidd potatoing HENARE with table shot, that split him open bad on the top of his head, which the doctors at ringside spent a lot of time trying to patch up. HENARE got a receipt of sorts later when he hit Kidd with a super stiff slap that looked like it knocked Gabe silly. Connors hit a big spear on Ospreay through the ropes, off the apron and through a table at ringside, Jeff Cobb ran wild on everyone with his incredible power moves, TJP emerged from under the ring as the Aswang, running wild and misting all the heels, Maloney broke up a pin attempt by Drilla Killa'ing Ospreay into the pile of bodies, Coughlin took a serious wilful beating with kendo sticks, who then took a big senton through a table off HENARE from the top of the cage. Connors introduced thumbtacks, but ended up bumping into the pins. Gedo came out with a barbed wire wrapped table, but O-Khan put an end to his interference, and it was Finlay who went through the barbed wire table, thanks to an Ospreay powerbomb. Gabe Kidd responded by hitting Ospreay with a piledriver off the apron, through a ladder bridge to the floor. Moloney forked Akira in the head, who juiced heavily, but then overcame his fear of the fork, no-sold it, and stabbed Drilla in the head with the cutlery, drawing his blood of his own, then hanged Connors over the top with a dog collar.

The heels then handcuffed Cobb to the cage, removed the ring canvas and padding, exposing the boards, and what followed was absolutely terrifying, as those boards were flying around and guys were falling through the ring left and right, to the point I thought someone might get seriously hurt. HENARE hit a massive vertical suplex on Kidd to the boards, before he too was handcuffed. Akira then took a horrendous Tombstone on the boards, which left Ospreay alone with the War Dogs. Sacrificing himself to save Akira, he tried a Hidden Blade, but collapsed from exhaustion, resulting in him taking a spear into the boards by Connors, then Finlay wrapped his knee in barbed wire and hit Ospreay with his new Overkill finish to end this insanity and win for his team in 64:05 of crazy, mind-blowing action.

The Overkill finish was quite ironic given the amounts of sheer overkill in this thing, there were times when I thought/was begging it would be over, but they just kept going and doing crazier stuff. Anyone who knows me knows I love a good crazy, unhinged blood and gimmicks match, and this was one of the best there's ever been, overkill or not. In the post match, Ospreay bid farewell to New Japan, and he got the big emotional send off with the confetti and all the UE guys surrounding him. Ospreay asked that the fans not forget him, and backstage he promised he'd be back, but when was still a mystery. Losing Ospreay is a major blow to NJPW (not to mention they're also losing Okada!), but I've no doubt he'll do great things in AEW.

NDT