#metatron + disillusionment

[shallowseeker]

Devastation: Metatron calling Chuck out on his nihilism, SPN 11x20 "Don't Call Me Shirley"

///

METATRON: It wasn't just the saps who were praying to you. The angels prayed, too. And so did I – every day. CHUCK: I know. METATRON: You want to sell the best-selling autobiography of all time? You explain to me – Tell me why you abandoned me. Us. CHUCK: Because you disappointed me. You all disappointed me. METATRON: (Stands up and looks at CHUCK with wet eyes.) No, look. I know I'm a disappointment, but you're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. (CHUCK starts to look more guilty as he looks at METATRON.) METATRON: Yeah, sure, they're weak and they cheat and steal and...destroy and disappoint. But they also give and create and they sing and dance and love. And above all, they never give up! But, you do! (CHUCK looks devastated. METATRON continues to look at CHUCK with a tear rolling down his cheek. CHUCK puts on his glasses, clears his throat, and starts typing with determination in his eyes. METATRON looks heart-broken.)

(CHUCK starts to look more guilty as he looks at METATRON.)

[jewomens]

Neil Gaiman mentioned earlier this summer that he wrote Crowley as Jewish, and lately I’ve been curious how that plays into his S2 arc of questioning and disillusionment.

Obviously Crowley isn’t ethnically or religiously Jewish, but it’s a pretty major part of Judaism and Jewish identity to question God and reinterpret the Torah as times change, and he specified that this was what he was referring to when discussing Crowley’s Jewishness.

His parallels to Christians who lose their faith are far more immediately apparent, so I could just be grasping at straws here, but there’s something about the way Crowley doesn’t fit easily inside Christian mythos, how he’s the first to really embrace life on Earth, and how he routinely dismisses Heaven and Hell that has a distinctly Jewish feel to it.

It’s also implied he had a closer relationship to God and Metatron than many of the other supernatural characters. When he tries to talk to God in S1E4, his tone is casual, and his language implies that God spoke to him at some point about His/Her plans for humanity. It’s almost as if he’s talking to a friend, which is a huge contrast to Aziraphale’s attempt to contact Him/Her (i.e. the ritual circle). Crowley’s also the first to recognize Metatron when he comes to Earth in S2, even after several instances of forgetting angels and demons he worked with previously.

This isn’t to say that Jews are somehow closer to God than Christians, just that - from what I’ve seen - Jews tend to have a more casual, interpersonal approach to their relationship with God than many more serious Christians. For example, the ideal of being “godfearing” seems to be more prominent and highly praised in Christian communities than Jewish ones, and the disparity between God and humans in Christianity (that God is infallible and perfect, and the humans are born tainted with sin) is really not a major part of Judaism at all. Rather, Jews see humans (and the Jewish people specifically) as having a role in making the world a better place, and that Satan is a tool of God’s to help challenge people to be better than their baser instincts. While I can’t speak to Crowley’s beliefs on that, his lack of total deference without any outright hostility seems more similar to the Jewish relationship to God than the Christian one.

That implied closeness could also be a hint at Crowley’s angelic alter-ego, and it might have nothing to do with Judaism. Unfortunately there’s no real way of confirming one way or the other until the third season comes out.

Either way, it’s fun to think about. Explorations of Jewish thought and relationship to God (particularly those written by someone with Jewish heritage) are few and far between, so it was an interesting idea to play with. Any thoughts/questions totally welcome! Most of this was fun speculation on my part, so I’m curious to see what other people might have to say.

[tessiete]

Wild Guesses and Untamed Theories about Good Omens Season 3.

Please feel free to disagree vehemently in the reblogs. Love that for us.

THEMES:

Since season one was about self-determination, and season two was about love, I'm guessing that season three is about death. Clues: 1. The Crow Road - Muriel is seen "reading" this book at the end. It's also the other novel that we see Jim alphabetise. It's about a young man whose grandmother dies, and he goes back to Scotland to wrestle with mortality, faith, and his relationship with his father. The "crow road" itself is a euphemism for death. Someone who's gone up crow road is dead.

2. The Final Nia Truc - Crowley's license plate being a reference to Terry Gilliam and his work on Monty Python. The skit it's referencing can be seen here (though you really should just watch The Meaning of Life. The Galaxy Song is maybe the best song written, and in fact I'm actually linking that and not the final curtain reference, so... (tw: suicidal leaves)

3. The Third Season is "Final" - Neil said so himself. In a three word Clue. I can't find it, so you're just gonna have to trust me. Anyway, what's more final than death? Or what isn't? You know?

4. Death as A Person - They were introduced as a physicalised character in the first season, and in the book it's noted that Death cannot be overcome. But Death CAN be delayed.

5. Book of Life - Revelations. Second Coming. Final Judgement. Jesus checking the Book of Life for the righteous. The resurrection of the dead. The end of all life on Earth. Etc., etc. The Bible is really preoccupied with this stuff, so I hear.

ARCS:

Aziraphale - He's a mess. I think we can all, well, not safely or with any certainty but at least with some...conviction? Some confidence? We can reasonably guess that Aziraphale's going to be dealing with a more complete disillusionment and emancipation from Heaven.

What does this mean in practical terms?

Probably a lot of conflict with the Metatron. Maybe Aziraphale realising he's being maneuvered as a puppet without any real authority. Potentially a coup by the other archangels? Possibly blackmail with Crowley's safety? Conceivably The Book of Life as a threat to his existence? To Crowley's? To Earth's? Sure. Why not?

Crowley - Okay, this is the neat one because Crowley had the most dramatic arc of the two of them in the second season. His was the open discovery of his love for Aziraphale, explicitly stated desire to be together, and the final (?) emancipation from Hell. Wanting to be a Us with a capital U.

So where is it left for him to go?

Forgiveness.

He's gonna have to learn to get comfy with forgiveness. With receiving it. With accepting it. With offering it.

Because he's going to have to give it to Aziraphale.

CONCLUSION:

I know, I know - no one agrees with me on this, but I'm gonna say it anyway and you can all yell in the notes.

I think this series ends with Crowley and Aziraphale becoming human. Choosing One Life to live together as humans. To have EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE, in one go. Together.

Because, because -- think of it:

Humanity vs. The Divine The book talks frequently about the difference between humans and angels/demons. Most clearly, here:

"The real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind."

This, to me, suggests that the things which Aziraphale and Crowley are ciphers for can only truly be realised by humans.

The book also goes on to reinforce to us how close the two of them already are.

They're said to have "gone native."

Crowley is said to have something other demons don't have: imagination.

Aziraphale is a straight up hedonist.

They live here. They work here.

And like with Dog, "form shapes nature."

And when it comes to "sides," Crowley notes in Season 1 that the final battle will really be between Heaven/Hell and Humanity. That's their side.

2. On the Nature of Free Will

Much is made about the nature of free will, especially in season one which is basically all about that. Anathema with her prophecies, Adam with his destiny, and, of course, Aziraphale and Crowley with their respective natures.

All of those arcs end with the heroes overcoming the bonds of restraint and determining their own future. In short, exercising their own free will.

While Aziraphale and Crowley don't necessarily recognise this, it is nonetheless true. And even though we're told it's impossible, we see that this isn't entirely true.

We see it in how Crowley drinks, and Aziraphale eats. Aziraphale especially engaging in all sorts of sinful activities without any celestial direction but purely because he likes it. He chooses it. And despite it going against the tenets of Heaven, he is able to do it.

Crowley wills the Bentley to survive the flames. Crowley chooses to conspire with Aziraphale time and again, not just to thwart the Great Plan but so that they can have oysters, or so that he doesn't have to ride a horse.

We constantly see them choosing.

And while, yes, in the scope of season 1 we could argue that "Ah, but - BUT! That is the Ineffable Plan. It wasn't chosen, it was always meant to be that way," this kind of falls apart in the scope of season 2 which is all about people resisting the expectations and pressures of other divine plans.

Gabriel nahs the war.

Maggie and Nina not only can't be miracled into love (so says Aziraphale), but also refuse to be manipulated into it either by miracle or meddling.

Muriel likes Aziraphale. Muriel "reads". Muriel helps Crowley.

So. Free Will.

Something that it seems everyone -- angels and demons included -- already has.

Additionally, Aziraphale's temptation back to Heaven is not based in ambition (he suggests Michael), but in self-determination (follow me, I swear it makes sense).

Okay, so the thing that sells him is the RESTORATION of Crowley to a divine state. Because he thinks that Crowley's Fall is fundamentally a mistake. That their inability to be together is because they are fundamentally opposed. Logically this makes sense, so why doesn't he feel convinced of it?

"Deep down you're a good person"

"That was a very kind thing you did"

All that stuff. He's constantly trying to assert Crowley's goodness as proof that he's not truly the demon he is. To Aziraphale, Crowley's status as a demon is a mistake that infringes upon his ability to determine his own path because when left to it, Crowley often chooses good.

While Crowley feels like his Fall is the act which bought him freedom from the shackles of Heaven. His Fall gave him self-determination.

Aziraphale sees it as something to be fixed. Crowley sees it as a choice. He sauntered vaguely downward. He goes along as far as he can.

In That Conversation, they're both hearing that the other person dislikes something they view as FUNDAMENTAL about themselves. Aziraphale IS an angel. Crowley IS a demon. They don't recognise how their choices determine their identities, and so misunderstand each other and ultimately, lose each other.

If they could see past those titles, then what would they find? And...something, something.

Where was I going with this?

Oh, right! Being human.

Anyway, if free-will is one of the requirements of Being Human then everyone qualifies whether they know it or not.

3. On the Nature of LOOOOOOVE

Falling in love. "It's what humans do." SO SAYS Aziraphale.

And well.

You know?

Enough said.

So, if Being Human means having free will AND falling in love, then...

Being an Angel or a Demon is just a job description.

And since Aziraphale and Crowley quit, then...

The only other thing that humanity has which separates them from angels and demons is that, well, they die. We die.

And so, if they are to become fully human with all the LOVE and FREEDOM of it, then they'll have to also take the death. Death, after all, is what makes the rest of it all possible. Maybe. I think, in some philosophies.

So, at a guess, the story ends like it began: in a garden.

Two humans, in love, living out their days in a cottage on the South Downs.

WILD RANDOM GUESSES (and how likely I think they are):

Jesus is a nepo baby, and Humanity turns on him because flying in a private jet is pretty gauche these days (9/10 - I think that this could go either way. When this idea was conceived in the 90s/00s private jets weren't the absolute bane of our literal continued existence as they are now. Some ideas don't age perfectly. The record shop, the...message box. Machine. The voice mail thing. The pay per view porn. But this one could have fun new connotations!)

Crowley becomes the new Duke of Hell and makes his dominion here on Earth (5/10 - Break ups can be Hell, and I think Crowley spiting Aziraphale's little efforts at beautification, or spurning all the places they used to love together is kind of fun. Also would explain global warming, buuuuut Crowley was pretty certain about not going back to Hell so...)

Aziraphale studies the porn in an effort to learn how to seduce Crowley. It's what humans do (like, a 8/10? I think it'll happen but I have no idea how it'd fit in)

Humans clone a whale. After all, God says to get back to her once we've managed to make a whale. (6/10. If Season 3 touches on the idea of emancipation (I didn't mention it up top, but here it is. Theme: EMANCIPATION) then I think it'd be funny for the cloning of a whale to signify Humanity's emancipation from Heaven and Hell, and God Herself. After all, if humans are God's children, all children - no exceptions - grow up.)

Humanity holds a General Strike against Heaven and Hell. It starts with a little old woman who just refuses to die. We all know one -- she's constantly being taken to the hospital, her family warned to prepare, and yet, somehow, she's back at the nursing home the next day. She just refuses to go. She's tired of all their nonsense (4/10 I think that there's no way humanity can outmatch Heaven or Hell for sheer strength so victory will have to come from somewhere else. Neil is a member of a union. A union currently on strike. Little guys taking on the Big Bads. I think it's a very relevant theme these days, but as I'm also in that same strike, I am le biased)

One of the guest leads is a pathologist named Dr. Leighton Quick. Because he deals with the Late. And the Quick. Get it? He's between Life and Death. Heaven and Hell. A human mediator. Seeking out answers to mete out justice on Earth. (-400/10 Absolutely impossible unless Neil has the exact same taste for puns that I do. But there are so many options, so...unlikely. I just think it's funny.)

Some old man is working in Heaven. He accidentally forgot to get off the escalator, and has been in accounting up there for 40 years. No one has noticed. (3/10. It's the kind of absurdity I can see happening. I just don't know how it'd fit. Only slight less likely than Duke Crowley)

The Somewhere Cold people go after Death is a Reception Lobby on the 42nd Floor. It's halfway between Up and Down. It has no windows and fluorescent lights. It's not horrible, but the A/C is broken so summer or winter, it's freezing cold. (7/10. I mean, it's a government office building, right? You're always waiting. It's always boring af. The A/C is always broken.)

Death is some Scottish Guy. Because of Crow Road. Because of David. Because it's funny. Because Death also deserves a little garden in the highlands. He lives on Crow Road. (10/10-1. I like it. It's probably too on the nose)

Aziraphale dies. It's some gambit. Crowley tries to intervene in some clever way, but is shocked when his miracle fails. Aziraphale smiles. Says, "It's too late, Crowley. It was always too late. Forgive me." And he walks off, hand in hand with Death. Crowley tracks Death down to Scotland. He finds Aziraphale having tea with Death in the garden (it ENDS in a garden). Death cannot be overcome, but he can be put off a bit. He agrees to restore Aziraphale to life on the condition that Crowley give up his immortality, and that someday, He'll come back for both of them. Crowley agrees. (15/10. I just like this. So, I'm betting hard on it. Vibes.)

[takeme-totheworld]

So I keep trying out different corners of the online fandom and then being like “actually I don’t know about this,” but I think Tumblr might be the place for me

I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about Aziraphale but here are the main bulletin points:

While obviously only Neil Gaiman knows for sure what Neil Gaiman is doing, Aziraphale is such a pitch-perfect representation of someone who is the product of a specific kind of toxic religious upbringing that I find it VERY hard to believe that that’s not intentional, especially since he’s a literal angel from Heaven in the world of the story.

(The rest of these are through the lens of #1) I think his actions at the end of S2 were exactly what they appeared to be. No lying, no coded messages, no overt threats from the Metatron offscreen that we didn’t hear, and definitely no miracled coffee or anything else that undercuts the emotional truth of Aziraphale’s choices in that moment.

I think Aziraphale is the one mostly in the wrong at the end of S2—he’s definitely wrong about Heaven being the side of truth, light, and good, and he’s almost certainly wrong about being able to make a difference in Heaven, at least in the way he’s imagining he will. I don’t think this is going to go at all the way he thinks it is.

I don’t think that any of this makes Aziraphale cruel or stupid. My read on the end of S2 has always been that he has not fully shaken off his programming yet. He’s in an ongoing struggle between his programming and all the things he’s learned over the millennia that contradict it. The more cracks appear in his indoctrinated worldview, the more afraid and unmoored he feels, and his choice at the end of S2 is his latest attempt to somehow reconcile his ongoing inner turmoil. His choice seems so incomprehensible because it’s supposed to, because in that moment he is completely unable to think rationally.

I’m heartbroken for both halves of the ineffable duo at the end of S2, because they love each other deeply and have just separated after a really painful falling out, but I feel sorrier for Aziraphale. Even though he’s in the wrong. Because he was manipulated right back into the sphere of control of the toxic institution that made him this way in the first place, and I think he’s in for a devastating final disillusionment and complete shattering of his worldview in S3, and he was also manipulated into driving away the one person who would have helped him cope with that.

Just, fuck, if my read on this story is right, S3 Aziraphale is going to go through some bleak shit. It’s so heartbreaking, but also it’s such an important story to tell, one that imo is almost never given the nuance it deserves (when it appears in fiction at all).

[fellthemarvelous]

"You're a dark horse, Mister Fell."

The Cambridge Dictionary defines "dark horse" as such:

a person who keeps their interests and ideas secret, especially someone who has a surprising ability or skill (UK)

a person who is not expected to succeed in or unexpectedly wins an election, race, or other competition (US)

DARK HORSE | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary

We all know Aziraphale is good at keeping secrets. He's been doing it his entire existence.

And despite Crowley's insistence that Aziraphale is bad at human magic, he actually seems to be pretty good at it when Crowley isn't around, which makes sense because he does get easily flustered around Crowley when it comes to his love for human magic.

I'm not sure why everyone automatically assumes Aziraphale is just going to fail. He has a plan. He always does.

He protected Gabriel despite the danger it put him in.

And we watched him facilitate a civilized conversation between demons and angels after taking charge when it was clear the bickering was getting them nowhere.

Crowley did not have to rescue him that time, and Crowley was actually really proud of how Aziraphale took the lead.

Maybe he's naive about what he may or may not be able to do in Heaven, but he's not going to fail. There will be other angels who listen to him even if he can't change all of Heaven.

Change takes time and fixing a shitty, broken system NEVER happens overnight.

But Aziraphale will always have one more trick up his sleeve as he has proven many times. He's not power hungry, he's an activist who sees a system that has the potential to be so much more than what it is.

Whether anyone wants to acknowledge it or not, Heaven is a prison just as Hell is. The Metatron was about to remove Gabriel's memory and move him to a lower rank instead of allowing him to leave Heaven. The Metatron doesn't want anyone to see the cracks behind Heaven's mask.

The Metatron thinks removing Aziraphale from Crowley will make Aziraphale more obedient, but Aziraphale has 6,000 years of experiences that no other angel has.

Just as Crowley has 6,000 years of experiences that no other demon has.

He might initially feel compelled to obey, but it's hard releasing yourself from the grip of fear-based indoctrination. He's going to stand up to Heaven though, with or without Crowley.

Aziraphale has always worked hard to decrease human suffering.

Why would he not want to help the other angels? They've all been largely indoctrinated. Every single one of them is clearly terrified of something. They watched their brethren fall and had to risk the same fate if they didn't obey Heaven's orders. They're not okay.

He's going to have to learn on his own that Heaven and Hell are two sides of the same coin. That's already a given. I think the disillusionment will only motivate him further to do as much good as he can.

Even if that means turning his back on Heaven to protect humanity (and to be with Crowley).

[cleverwench]

Aziraphale unequivocally rejected a heaven that had no place for crowley. He wouldn't entertain it, not even when being offered a leadership position. Because how could he take anything seriously, even heaven itself, if it thought crowley wasn't good enough for it?

But the second the metatron said he'd allow crowley to join him, all of the work aziraphale had done to understand how truly damaging and corrupt heaven is went out the window. While he'd acknowledged that there were issues in need of fixing, the true source of his disillusionment was their treatment of crowley. If they were willing to undo their greatest mistake, to see the potential that aziraphale sees in crowley, then anything could be fixed.

Yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But he'd been slowly coming around to Crowley's thinking that good did not necessarily come from heaven. That's why his love for crowley was ultimately the only thing that could cause aziraphale to backslide - so quickly and completely - into believing in heaven's righteousness again.

[shkspr]

thinking about Aziraphale's relationship with physicality and violence and it's very interesting. interesting how he was tasked to guard the eastern gate of Eden and issued with a flaming sword for that purpose and the worst thing he ever did with it was give it away. how, when he gets it back 6000 years later, he "holds it awkwardly [...] not threatening Crowley with it, just making his point that he can do dangerous out-of-character things if he needs to."

interesting how he's "never actually killed anything before," despite the fact that it seems to be a favorite pastime of Heaven’s. how he's horrified by the flood, and the crucifixion, but he can't say that, so he tries to downplay the severity of it, downplay his own involvement, to give himself a tiny bit of peace of mind. interesting how he tries to base an argument on Heaven not having “blood on its hands,” as if Heaven minds having blood on their hands one bit.

interesting how he never fights back. not in Paris, not with the Nazis, not with the angels. and he was outnumbered and overpowered in all of those cases, but not when Shadwell came to the bookshop and confronted him. he could very easily have used magic or physical strength to, for example, push the man to the ground to keep him away from the circle. he didn’t do that; he kept backing up and backing up and talking and talking.

the way that he behaves in the face of violence and how he handles his own potential for violence is a microcosm of his relationship with heaven. because there are so many layers here: he knows who he is, he knows how he feels about these things, and he knows damn well that Heaven doesn’t have the same hesitation. he knows that Heaven is cold and calculated, that they do awful things and hurt people, and he knows he doesn’t agree with it, but he is, for a long time, fundamentally incapable of admitting it.

so what he does is, instead of giving in to Heaven’s propensity for ruthless violence or acknowledging and igniting the conflict between their philosophies, he tries to convince himself over and over and over that it isn’t as bad as it is - that there’ll be rainbows when it’s all done, that it will only affect the locals, that he isn’t consulted on policy decisions. anything to make himself believe that it’s not a point against Heaven or against himself.

and it’s the same thing that he does with Crowley, only in the opposite direction. when Crowley does something that reminds Aziraphale how similar the two of them are, Aziraphale’s response is to say that Crowley is good, better than he would like to admit - meanwhile, Aziraphale would never say he might not be as good as he says, that that might also contribute to their similarities.

when Heaven does something that reminds Aziraphale how disconnected he is from their moral center, how different they are, he tries his best to close that gap, as well, by justifying their actions. if he can believe that it’s okay, then he can pretend he isn’t an outlier in Heaven, can pretend he belongs there. but it’s so dissonant, because while he’s using his own pacifist tendencies as evidence of his Goodness to Crowley, to humans, to himself, he knows that that’s not what Heaven does or what they want from him.

when Aziraphale is confronted by Michael, Uriel, and Sandalphon, that is violence for its own sake. and these are angels, high-ranking angels, whom Aziraphale is supposed to respect and admire, and here they are, using brute, vulgar physical violence against him, simply to intimidate, to scare him. “you mustn’t,” he says, because he knows that’s not how angels are meant to behave. but it is how they behave, and he’s the exception, which we see again when the demon who brings the Hellfire asks permission to hit him (though it’s actually Crowley, but nobody knows that), because he’s “always wanted to hit an angel,” and Sandalphon doesn’t hesitate to tell him to “go for it.” 

when Gabriel says, “what are you?” and Aziraphale replies, once he’s out of earshot, “I’m soft,” that’s a moment of disappointment, for him. that’s a moment of defeat. because it’s one of the moments where it’s really sinking in that Heaven wants this war to happen, and that means that what he’s been doing for eleven years has been against their wishes and counter to their goals, and moreover it means that if he wants to save the world, he will have to oppose Heaven entirely. he’s never done that before, he’s never even considered it, and he doesn’t want to, at that point.

contrast this with his later statement, “I have no intention of fighting in any war,” which is a triumphant moment for Aziraphale, a moment where he stands up for himself and for what he believes in. it is also, and not coincidentally, a moment where his immediate problem is solved by his acknowledgment and admission that he is not so different from a demon. and of course, the interim is important - this drastic change couldn’t have happened without the disillusionment from his interaction with the Metatron.

it’s only at that point that Aziraphale really, truly decides to stand against Heaven, and it’s because he likes his life and he likes the Earth, sure, but it’s also because he doesn’t want to fight. his aversion to violence is what breaks him out of his cycle of denial, forces him to admit that he is different from other angels, different from Heaven, and that that’s not a bad thing. 

because he’s spent six thousand years trying to justify the death and the bloodshed by making excuses and understating the effects, but just like in his relationship with Crowley, Aziraphale’s own moral standing has been unwavering. he knows what he believes, and he’ll twist the world around him to fit that, but he will not twist his own beliefs. so when it becomes impossible to lie to himself about where Heaven stands, it’s a breaking point: if Heaven is immovable and Aziraphale is immovable, the thread between them is bound to snap.

[charlotteharlatan]

I find it super interesting that Crowley is the only character in GO that we ever see consistently talking to himself, or to the Almighty.

It makes me think he was a super high-ranking angel before he Fell. It makes me think he used to speak to Her all the time, back when he would help Her shape stars and planets and galaxies, and he never quite shook the habit.

It’s such a fascinating character choice. We have characters who are literal angels and we almost never see them praying/attempting to talk to God, Azirapahle being the only notable exception. One time is after he gives away his sword, and the other is when he’s trying to put a stop to the Apocalypse. And that second time, you can see the disillusionment in his eyes when he is only allowed to speak with the Metatron, when he can’t get an answer from Her.

Crowley talks to Her when he just wants someone to talk to, even if he’s almost certain he won’t accomplish anything by doing it. And it seems like he’s been doing it for a long time, never expecting an answer, seemingly never receiving one, but doing it nonetheless. Because he thinks She might still be listening.

That’s one of the things I love most about this show: how it communicates the message that there is potential in each and every being. Crowley is a demon. Supposedly beyond redemption, beyond God’s hearing. And yet he talks to Her. Common knowledge says he’s not supposed to be able to do the right thing, even if he wants to. But in some ways, he shows more faith than any other character, including Aziraphale.

God. I love him so much.

[mittensmorgul]

I think it's horrifically sad that people genuinly believe that the only thing that has ever mattered for Cas is Dean. However the situation is now, heaven and the other angels were Castiel's FAMILY for millions of years. Just imagine the trauma and feelings of lonliness for a creature that old to not have a friend that shares his history, to speak of things that humans will just not GET. The writers have reduced Cas' entire world into just the Winchesters, and how is that a good thing?

I… don’t see any of this?

I don’t know of anything in canon that indicates that  “the only thing that has ever mattered for Cas is Dean.”

In fact, I’d dare say the exact opposite is true. Cas has always cared about humanity in general. He’s always had “too much heart.” (So said Samandriel) He’s always resisted obeying Heaven’s orders. (So said Naomi, and Hester, and… pretty much every angel who’s ever known him…)

Yes, those other angels, who were his FAMILY for millions of years, who reprogrammed him over and over again every time he showed that “too much heart.” Every time he tried to show the rest of them something greater than just following those orders, from trying to enforce some kind of “destiny.”

We get his disillusionment in full technicolor even as far back as 6.20– his sense of guilt, his sense of obligation to wrangle all the angels around to seeing the potential they’re missing out on.

CASTIEL No. No one leads us anymore. We’re all free to make our own choices and to choose our own fates.RACHEL What does God want?CASTIEL God wants you to have freedom.RACHEL But what does he want us to do with it?

It must be the crack in his chassis, because he seems to be the only angel who really, truly understands this. He desperately wants the angels to just understand this, and they just… don’t. He despairs of them, yet still feels personally responsible for saving them from what Raphael plans to do. Maybe, just maybe, if he stops Raphael from restarting the apocalypse, then MAYBE the rest of the angels might learn to exercise the freedom (and free will) that he’s been trying to show them all along.

God doesn’t want them to do anything, he wants them to decide what to do for themselves.

And Cas is pretty much the only angel who really gets it.

And Sam and Dean (and especially Dean) has been there to help him through his disappointment, frustration, and disillusionment in dealing with Heaven, going all the way back to s4. We see it continue throughout s5 when Dean helps Cas after God essentially abandons all of creation, refusing to do anything about the apocalypse.

Cas was the ONLY angel willing to defy Heaven, Hell, Destiny, and GOD to save humanity. And he didn’t do it grudgingly. He CHOSE it, because it felt like the right thing for him to do. And then he immediately was thrown back into an impossible situation where he was being asked to do it all AGAIN.

And HE STILL CHOSE TO DEFEND HUMANITY, even against all of Heaven, on his own. Not because he was eager to save Heaven… but so that he could protect Dean.

I mean, that was his CHOICE.

I don’t think the writers are saying AT ALL that Cas feels bereft of a friend who truly understands him, or truly sympathizes with him, or that Cas laments the loss of the “family” that has done nothing but reject him and dismiss him and use him and abuse him for most of that very long life.

For a very long time he did feel guilty and a sense of obligation to help them, but that’s worn really thin over the last few years. There’s only so many times someone can be blatantly and forcefully rejected by one’s “family” before one gives that family the ol’ heave ho.

I don’t think the writers are trying to tell a story in which Cas is rejecting a loving and supportive family. We’ve been witnessing his trauma and feelings of loneliness for a long time. Heck, so much of his s10 arc (which still feels shunted off to the side toward the end of the season as the Darkness arc was being set up), and DEFINITELY his s11 arc were DIRECTLY ABOUT Cas’s sense of loneliness and abandonment and disconnect from his Heavenly family.

It was driven home with iron spikes in 11.02:

CASTIEL: Mercy, brother, please!EFRAM: Brother? Ha! What are you?CASTIEL: W-what? I’m an angel of the Lord.EFRAM: That so? ‘Cause, near as I can tell, when you have to choose between heaven and the Winchesters …JONAH: You choose them.EFRAM: Every time. So, see, you’re not my brother. And if I had it my way, I’d take this blade, stick it in your heart … and call that a damn good day.

And if that wasn’t enough:

HANNAH: I saved you.CASTIEL: No. I don’t think you did. I think that you told Efram and Jonah to bring me here and to hurt me, and so you arranged to – to … to burst in and save me. You were hoping that I would be so grateful that I would do anything you said, that I would tell you anything that you wanted to know. Why, Hannah? We were friends.HANNAH: That was before you freed Metatron … Before … The other angels, they hate you.CASTIEL: And what about you? Do you hate me?EFRAM: (both Efram and Jonah enter the room again) It doesn’t matter. We took a vote – democracy in action – and … Hannah’s doing the job.CASTIEL: I won’t give you Sam and Dean.EFRAM: Sure you will.JONAH: We’re gonna hack your brain.

This is that “family” you mentioned. This is the “family” that Cas has tried to protect Sam and Dean from since s4. He won’t just hand over Sam and Dean to them to be tortured and killed. Because that’s what they intended to do with Cas, so how much worse would it be for Sam and Dean?

It’s not like the angels have been working hard to support and accept and understand Cas. It doesn’t do a lot for his sense of guilt or loyalty to Heaven…

Then in 11.10:

Ambriel: Are you going to kill me?Castiel: Is that what they say, that I kill angels?Ambriel: Well, that’s the nicest thing they say. Well, maybe we can work together… so no-one murders anyone.

and

Castiel: I never wanted this, you know. To be hated by my own kind, I never-Ambriel: Oh no, I don’t hate you, Castiel.Castiel: Thank you.Ambriel: I mean, we have a lot in common. Our names rhyme, that’s a big one. I look good in a trench coat too, and we’re both expendable.Castiel: Excuse me?Ambriel: Well, that’s why we’re here, right? I’m a number cruncher and you-you like I said, I’ve heard the stories. You help. But Sam and Dean Winchester are the real heroes. So if the Darkness is still alive and she’s pissed and she kills us, no big loss. So sure, maybe we’re not super important, but we do the job. I think there’s nobility in that.

and if that’s not enough, Amara rubs it in…

Amara: She’s right you know, you are expendable and weak. And why God took a special interest in you, I’ll never understand. My brother always did have horrible taste in men.

Cas’s Netflix binge in early s11, hiding out in the bunker at a time when that was the ONLY place he could turn. Heaven had fully rejected him. That family would rather he was DEAD than accept him back.

While I can understand why someone might feel hopeful that Cas had at least some part of his Heavenly family that he remained close with, like immigrants to a new country who feel culturally adrift but for the support of one’s family… but that’s not been Cas’s experience at all.

[shallowseeker]

eileen or rowena

This is the cruelest ask I've ever gotten.💔 How dare.

It should be clear by now that I'm partial to the MacLeods, especially their class struggles. Their lives were so bleak when they lived them. Rowena was left in a puddle of her own blood after giving birth. Crowley was tricked in an alleyway for his sexual insecurities and then tortured in Hell.

Like rats, they both kept fighting until they were temporary, tenuous Kings and/or Queens of the vermin. But even once they'd secured their respective thrones, everyone was dying to pledge allegiance to the "True Royalty" instead (Heaven, angels, princes of Hell, etc). We saw that even Rowena was struggling with insurrection in season 15!

And the tragedy is that when they choose ambition at the expense of everything else, they're doomed to lose, and that rocks my socks! It's a losing battle that burned Crowley out, and it's going to burn Rowena out, too. It's that old threat of nihilism that looms on the horizon, isn't it? The thing is, they're both deeply insecure and flitting from one strong protector to the next, barking loudly and pathetically posturing to cover up their own weakness. It's awesome. More than anyone else, they're both shown to want attack dogs, and their great mutual irony is that they consistently go after dangerous protectors that they cannot actually mold or subdue, no matter how much barbed innuendo or strongman-words they fling at them.

I think of Metatron's taunting to Hannah, that she wants someone, "Large and in charge." I think of Crowley going after Lucifer in season 12 in order to have, "A nuke in his pocket." You can't have something that powerful and also expect it to be an obedient automaton. You just can't. No matter how much you manipulate it.

Anyway, they consistently pick battles that they cannot win and bite off more than they can chew. When it comes to relationships, they'll sometimes posture, but also sometimes woobify themselves to try to cozy up to anyone who will tolerate them. Anyone.

///

I like Eileen. Eileen has the bones in her to be just as interesting as other mainstay SPN characters, and Shosannah is a superior actor of the highest quality, and she's one of the most athletic-looking hunters onscreen. (That lady is fast!)

That said, even her Hell arc is slept on, and how can a Hell arc be boring? It's boring because she didn't get to make enough mistakes. Eileen became interesting in season 12 when she accidentally shot a human and despaired over that mistake. She became interesting when she admitted to having major trust issues and a toxic mentor.

But the most interesting thing Eileen ever did was walk out of the bunker after her Chuck-induced existential crisis.

ON the whole, I need her to break Sam's heart a few more times in the sequel-I'm-going-to-sell-my-soul-for in order to place her in the Hall of Fame where she belongs. I need the scrumptious disillusionment and the complicated business of coming together as an imperfect partnership, that thing beyond the initial mooney phase of Charming-Acres-coded Margaritas.

To me, the fascinating thing about Eileen is that Eileen's bodily communication style stifles Sam's tendency to verbal vomit/overanalyze, and as a result, he opens up to her like a starved flower. It's a consistent opening, not just in regards to hunting and trauma, on a scale he does not do for other characters. They're dorky together. They cook together. That's so interesting to me! (Which is why I desperately need them to Break Each Other's Hearts and Disappoint Each Other and Disagree on Things.)

I want Sam to finally understand how uniquely difficult it can be when a spousal lover lets you down (he knows how it feels when family does it). I also want sequel!Sam to see how tough it is to strike that whole parental balance of safety versus independence with Dean Jr. It keeps me awake. I Think About It.

[illusivexemissary]

Why do you think Gabriel is so attached to Castiel? And outside of that, who is Gabe most attached to in terms of the angels?

//Well, I mean, apart from show canon???? o_o; I can highlight some moments in canon that show a mutual affection from a distant past, if you like! There isn’t a plethora of evidence by virtue of Gabriel’s scarcity in the show (only five episodes out of well over 200) but in two of the five there’s obvious evidence that Gabriel and Castiel knew each other well, and, furthermore, that Gabriel was some kind of role model to Castiel before the “angel’s angels” like Ishim and Naomi got their claws in Castiel and wiped any unconventional impulses (such as doubt of doctrine/orders, and free thought).  

1) The first time we see Gabriel and Castiel interacting is in “Changing Channels,” when Gabriel waylays Castiel by tossing him in a moderately dangerous pocket dimension while trying to force Sam and Dean to agree to accept being the vessels for Michael and Lucifer.  

First of all notice how contemptuous Gabriel is toward Dean for forcing him to yield Castiel back to the Winchesters: 

Bit of a note of propriety there? 

But far more importantly, without any context, just look at their faces, when Castiel has realized who Gabriel is, and is clearly DISAPPOINTED and DISILLUSIONED in him: 

DISAPPOINTMENT CONNOTES PREVIOUS FAITH, PREVIOUS AFFECTION.

Now look at the way they meet eyes after Gabriel has ceased all pretense of defiance of baby brother’s disapproval, and Castiel CHOOSES the Winchesters over him, making his stance in the Apocalypse issue clearly contrary to Gabriel’s: 

Just LOOK AT THEIR FACES.  The most underrated brotherly bond in this show is these two, which in certain striking ways reflects that of Dean and Sam. This is a pupil defying his mentor because of principle, and I firmly believe that this was the moment that Gabriel realized he needed to stop abstaining  from action, and stand up to the parties involved in the Apocalypse. NOT anything  Dean later said in Hammer of the Gods.  

This is NOT the same look Castiel gave Raphael in 5 x 03, openly disrespectful and contemptuous:

It cannot be explained as mere disillusionment in Archangels in GENERAL. It’s a disappointment SPECIFIC to Gabriel. 

2) The second time we see Gabriel and Castiel interacting is in “Meta Fiction,” and yes, there’s plentiful debate as to whether Gabriel was a fictive doppleganger created by Metatron, or, somehow, the real Gabriel from beyond the grave, but the point I’m gonna make is irrespective of that.  To CASTIEL, that WAS Gabriel, during the time  that Castiel’s actions betray a fondness for Gabriel, until he realized the hole in his coat was missing and the entire scenario was a scam.  A lot of this hinges on what we know about Metatron. Metatron is the world’s best manipulator, arguably as good at the game as Lucifer.  Metatron knows how to get under people’s skin, and he’s certainly made a career out of getting under Castiel’s by 9 x 18.  Who did Metatron select to efficiently grab hold of Castiel’s compassionate heart and make him fall for his scheme? What older brother, worthy of emulation, was there?  Castiel has been at direct odds with Michael and Lucifer before, and Raphael has gladly killed Castiel before.  But not Gabriel. Gabriel never showed Castiel any serious hostility.  And Metatron, who was God’s SCRIBE, seated at his right hand writing down everything he said and did, and a huge busybody, KNEW EVERY ANGEL’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERY OTHER ANGEL. METATRON KNEW CASTIEL AND GABRIEL ONCE HAD A POSITIVE BOND. So Metatron CHOSE Gabriel.  Metatron even makes a comment about how wise this choice was, while gloating, when the illusion has been shattered.  CLEAR INTENT. In fact, when we watch the episode, notice the way Castiel reacts to Gabriel’s claims of stepping it up and becoming the Archangel in charge of Heaven.  He says that heaven has needed a new leader for a long time, “and I’m glad that person is going to be you.”  I mean. That’s pretty unequivocal all by itself. Castiel’s admiration is hard-won, and Gabriel ALREADY has it.  More evidence of their camaraderie is Gabriel’s capacity to REFRAIN FROM JUDGING CASTIEL when they’re in Castiel’s car and Castiel is beating himself up.   “Bitch please. You’ve been God more than Dad has.”   That, and his entire speech about how he and Castiel comprehend free will the way the rest of angel kind cannot:

Not to mention the way Castiel trusts Gabriel’s word implicitly when Gabriel tells him he cannot and will not fail again to lead Heaven, and the way that Castiel, prone to show physical affection ONLY TO LOVED ONES  (the Winchesters so far), VOLUNTARILY HUGS Gabriel when he thinks his brother is going to sacrifice himself a second time for the cause of a greater good.  Please note: Misha Collins instigated the hug, going off-script, because he said it felt right for the characters’ relationship.

3) The claims that I make are in NO WAY at the expense of Castiel’s bonds with other angels.  That Castiel once saw Gabriel as a role model, and Gabriel saw Castiel as an apt pupil, does not mean Castiel didn’t love Balthazar, Samandriel, Hannah, or a score of other angels that we have seen come and go throughout the series. I find people’s hackles raise when I bring up this relationship; they’re quick to dismiss it as “fanon” and it’s nearly always because they  feel like it threatens Castiel’s bond with their own muse or favorite angel. That’s not how relationships work, and Castiel’s enormous capacity for love is more than enough to go around.  

4) Gabriel is attached to Castiel because Castiel has the capacity to question axioms, to celebrate free thought, to love the human race despite its many flaws.  Their personalities could not be more different, but their values are remarkably similar.