#midnights but make it kaz brekker

[auroravictorium]

lavender haze (k.b.)

Summary: when the reader is injured and kaz kills someone for them (oops), they come to a realization of their feelings.

Pairing(s): kaz brekker and reader Word Count: ~1.8k Warnings: mild violence (stabbing, mentions of gunshots, physical fighting), blood, mentions of death Genre: a bit of angst, but with a fluffy ending

Author's Note: this is part of the midnights saga (inspired by taylor swift's midnights ofc) but can be read as a oneshot or as part of the series once i've written more :)) send me requests for kaz if you so desire. only 54 days until season two of sab releases let's goooooo

“This was not the plan,” you shouted to Jesper, dodging a fist hurtling toward your face. Your muscles burned with exertion, and your skin ached with bruises from being shoved down the stairs by the targets who somehow knew you were coming. It wasn't your most graceful moment, getting pushed down hard, splintered wooden stairs. You landed at a guard's feet, to boot. An excellent start to what seemed like such an easy heist: get in, grab the rolled-up canvases of forged paintings and get out and back to the Slat before anyone could notice anything amiss.

"I think I know that," he snapped back, ripping his pistol from its holster and using it to bash his attacker in the head. The guard groaned and slumped to the wooden floor, dazed. Jesper took the chance to aim his pistol at the man trying to lock you in a chokehold. "Can you get him to stop moving?"

"I'm going to kill you if you shoot me," you snarled, bringing your knee to the man's gut and bashing his temple with your pistol. He crumpled, and you kicked the man's chest once he was on the ground. It seemed fair after shoving you down the stairs and possibly breaking your ribs. It ached horribly to breathe, and your wrist throbbed when you flexed it. Sprained, no doubt. There was no time to worry about that because another idiotic guard thundered down the stairs right toward you with two lackeys behind him.

Where were Inej, Kaz, and Nina?

You pulled the trigger on your pistol, taking a nonlethal shot at the first guard's thigh, sending him tumbling down the stairs with a shriek. See? That's how it feels, asshole.

Jesper handled the second one, and you went for the third, going for the arm this time. He howled in pain and clutched his arm, nearly tripping over his feet.

"Where's-?" you began, then your hair prickled on the back of your neck. Spinning around, you were greeted with a bash to the face. You collapsed to the ground, and your head hit the floor with an impact that rattled your teeth. You gasped for air, and black spots danced across your vision. The world spun too fast on its axis. Nothing was in focus. Distantly, Jesper shouted. You thought he was fighting the man who hit you.

Pain blossomed between your ribs, and you screamed. The world snapped sharply back into focus long enough to glimpse your attacker's face, concealed by a black scarf wrapped tightly around his head. His eyes were black as coal and filled with pure rage as he stabbed you, twisting the blade to inflict as much damage as possible.

You sobbed as he pulled the dagger free. Something sharp and metallic was bubbling in your throat, threatening to choke you. It bubbled out of your lips, painting them red and sliding down your cheek. The world around you disappeared, and you floated on nothing.

People talked, there was shouting, then more burning on your chest. Someone apologizing. A hand pressed between your ribs over your wound.

"No more," you thought you said. "Please."

You were dying. You could recognize that much.

As the chains of death fastened themselves around your wrists, cold metal biting your feverish skin, you thought of Kaz. His piercing blue eyes, how his coat looked against his pale skin, the way he brushed his fingers through his hair as he concocted heists. How he said your name so softly that you wondered if he felt the same way you did about him. Fluttery, light, hoping to give him a smile and have him smile back. All you wanted was a smile from Kaz, even if he didn't feel that same fluttering as your eyes caught.

Now you wouldn't even get that.

The world disappeared. 

And then it came back.

You woke with dry lips and a pounding head. Your throat burned from a lack of water, and everything around you was blurry from unconsciousness.

You looked around at your room in the Slat. How did I get here? Shouldn't I be greeting the Saints now, not feeling like shit with water leaking from the roof onto my head?

Someone leaned forward in a creaky chair beside you, and you saw his cane before you saw him. He was sitting in a chair haphazardly shoved in the corner. It hadn't been there before you'd died, nor had Kaz. He'd never even been in your room before.

"Hi," you rasped. Internally, you winced. Hi? That's the best you could say? You died while thinking of him, and you can only muster 'hi?' Maybe you could be stabbed again and start this over.

Kaz looked you over, his face carefully arranged into a mask of neutrality. But his hair was greasy and falling into his eyes, and he had dark shadows under his eyes that made him look like he'd been punched in the face. "How are you feeling?" His voice was almost just as blank as his face. But underneath his words was.. concern. He was worried. About you.

Where the hell had you gone after you died? In what world did Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, show any emotion?

"Am I dead?" you asked him. You experimentally tried to sit up, but your chest screamed at you in pain, and Kaz's cane shot out. The tip pressed against the wall beside your bed, and you were blocked from getting up.

Kaz was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, "What were you thinking? Why did you try to take all of them at once?"

"Jesper and I had it handled." Your throat throbbed, and Kaz seemed to realize that speaking was difficult. He held out a glass of water, and you lifted your head. Carefully, he tipped some of the liquid down your throat. You swallowed and sighed in relief.

"You nearly died," Kaz said. He placed the glass of water on the ground and stood, removing the cane from where it blocked you and thumping it against the floorboards. "It was reckless." His voice was lined with anger.

Anger sparked in your chest. "I woke up after being out for?"

"Three days," Kaz gritted out, whirling to face you. His eyes were ablaze, and you nearly shrunk under that look. It was so unlike him, usually so cold and stoic, that having that emotion directed at you was startling. But you didn't back down and forced yourself into a sitting position despite the searing pain and stiff bandages around your chest.

"Three days, and the first thing you do is decide to yell at me? I'm sorry I almost died, but I would appreciate it if you could wait to lecture me until I'm not about to keel over from pain."

His jaw flexed. He was furious. Much more than you realized. His eyes closed, and his chest expanded and contracted as he took a deep breath. "You nearly died," he said again. His voice was calmer now, and you found yourself softening. "When Inej and I found you nearly bleeding out while Jesper tried to stem the blood, I wanted to kill the person who did this to you." He inhaled again and turned his back to you.

He was silent for a few long moments. "Kaz?" you whispered. He was within your reach but felt so far away. Especially since he didn't like to be touched, and you didn't dare push that boundary to get his attention.

"I did," he admitted. "While Nina worked on you, Jesper and I followed him, and I killed him."

You didn't prompt him to continue this time. He so rarely shared his thoughts. You didn't want to ruin this.

"Killing him didn't keep you from nearly dying," he said quietly. "Your heart stopped. I thought I'd never..." The words died in his throat.

Your hand twitched with the urge to reach out to him. He was trying to say what he felt, but Kaz Brekker wasn't good with emotions. He hadn't been since he nearly drowned in the harbor.

"You said my name while you slept," he said roughly. He turned back to face her, his blue eyes on fire with something you struggled to identify immediately. Later, you recognized it as desperation.

He needed you to say it. He worked so hard to keep all his emotions beneath the surface that they refused to come to him when he called. He felt them all, burning beneath his skin, pleading to be shared, only to disappear when summoned. 

You didn't struggle as intensely. "I thought of you when I was dying," you breathed. The words were quiet, shy. Almost ashamed that you hadn't thought of someone else, like your best friend from home. "I thought of you smiling."

Kaz nearly laughed out of sheer amazement. "You've never seen me smile."

Your cheeks flushed, and you looked down at your hands. "But I want to. And I thought I would die without seeing it at least once."

The room was so silent your ears almost started ringing. Then the floorboards creaked, and Kaz sat in the chair beside your bed again. You exhaled slowly, relieved that he didn't open the door and disappear. It was the worst-case scenario that had haunted your dreams. But he hadn't, and he was back beside you again. It was closer than you'd ever expected to be to him.

"Don't die on me again, and maybe you will see it," he said. He rested his cane against the wall and stretched out his legs. Behind his words was relief. You understood what he was trying to say and felt the same, and you were alive. He had the chance to say this to you. For the first time in a long time, Kaz found himself nearly thanking the Saints.

Your heart leaped into your throat as you looked over and met his eyes. A silent understanding passed between you, and his lip quirked up in the corners, ever-so-slightly. You smiled back and looked down at your hands.

You were on the precipice of something new. It was something you'd wanted for so long that you couldn't believe this was real. 

"I'm still going to lecture you for almost dying," Kaz said, breaking the silence. He looked at you seriously, but a glimmer of something danced in his eyes. Despite the threat, you couldn't help but wheeze a quiet laugh.

"I expect nothing less, Boss."

[lilisouless]

My contribution to the meme of the week

[laoih]

The Crows From “Shadow And Bone” Read Thirst Tweets

[thechaoticrow]

“no one wanted to play with me as a little kid/ so i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since” KAZ BREKKER!!!! KAZ BREKKER ENERGY!!!!!

(song is mastermind - taylor swift)

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

It’s half past midnight as I’m starting this, who knows what time it will be when I finish it, let’s talk: Inej versus the Wraith.

Ok I’ve been thinking a lot about the distinction between Inej and the Wraith as a concept similar to the desperation of Kaz and Dirtyhands or Kaz Brekker and Kaz Rietveld, and I think I’ve noticed an actual trend in the books of using the epithet at certain times or in certain tones. For example, when the group find the pyre in chapter 19/20 and realise one of the victims is still alive, Jesper shoots them to end their pain. Kaz wanted Inej to do it since using her knives would be quieter than the gun, but she can’t bring herself to. In this moment, she is described exclusively as “Inej”. Later in chapter 20 she kills a parem-drugged fabrikator in order to save their lives, and is described as “the Wraith”. Not only is there the suggestion of a growing distinction between the two, but it is now being noticed by the characters as well as just the reader. For Kaz it’s really only the reader (and maybe Inej but I’d argue not to a full extent until Crooked Kingdom) who sees this distinction because we are closer to him than he lets anyone else get, we are the only people who really know what he’s thinking and see the two sides of his personality or the two potentials for who he could be. But with Inej it’s almost the exact opposite, we as the reader see the idea of the Wraith as an epithet invented by Kaz and an as empowering epithet designed to counter the dehumanising “Lynx” whilst still echoing the trauma of her past by linking very clearly to Inej’s descriptions of leaving her body behind and thinking “I’m already dead, I died in the hold of a slaver ship”, whilst the characters begin to almost refer to the Wraith and Inej as separate entities. I’m using Jesper as my example here since he’s the one to calll her the Wraith in chapter 20 - “trust the Wraith” - and the one to shoot the dying Grisha at the pyre, both to spare them and her from pain. It seems a sudden turnabout to go from a non-verbal or even any kind of communicatory acknowledgment that he needs to step in for her to expecting, trusting, and praising her for killing, but arguably that’s because he has seen a change in her during this short period of time.

It’s also worth noting that Nina almost always calls her Inej, in fact I don’t think she once calls her Wraith (at least to my immediate recollection, feel free to correct me) except when she uses the name to call Kaz out when he says “the Wraith can handle it” and she replies “the Wraith is a 16-year-old girl” and goes on to emphasise Inej’s injuries. But even in this scene, which is on the boat to Fjerda when it’s still unclear whether Inej will even survive and Kaz is talking about making her climb up the incinerator shaft at the Ice Court, Nina begins the conversation by saying Kaz can’t make Inej do that, and he comes back with “the Wraith can manage”. This suggests he sees a distinction between them as well, perhaps that Inej is a religious young woman who’s been left incredibly vulnerable but the Wraith is a hardened criminal with nothing to lose. By choosing to refer to her as the Wraith when he plans to put her through something so incredibly difficult, he is alleviating himself from the guilt of harming a vulnerable young woman by instead considering her as a hardened criminal. Nina calling him out in this shit (yeah I said it and I stand by it) clearly annoys Kaz or he wouldn’t have bothered arguing back to her, as he usually doesn’t. Arguably we could extend this to the idea that the others call her Inej when she’s the person they know and care about but the Wraith when she’s violent or commits crimes so they can actively choose to separate the image of warm, kind-hearted Inej from cruel or calculating Wraith.

Now everything I’ve said so far really comes down to perception so in terms of analysis it’s the kind of thing that you can say confidently and have accepted as accurate or at least as a reasonable interpretation, like when critics tell you that the dream sequence in Frankenstein can mean on of the following 5 things so you agree with them because they clearly know what they’re talking about. (Not that I’m saying the dream doesn’t mean one of those 5 things it can definitely be interpreted in those ways, it’s just an example of something in literature I’ve seen we kind of take as fact when it is, of course, all yo for interpretation). However, I want to be clear that what I’m going to say from now on can be considered a possible theory or interpretation of Inej surrounding her mental state and ptsd response. I’ve talked about it recently as part of other posts and I’m basically about to repeat myself word for word, but I wanted to compress this all into one post on the theme and include the stuff about the characters actually perceiving her that way too.

So first you we have a quote from the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene™️, and what I’m going to say here is pretty much going to be exactly the same as what I wrote in my detailed breakdown and analysis of that scene, which if anyone wants to read is on my page or I can tag you if you’d like. The quote I want to talk about is: “I live in fear that I’ll see one of her - one of my clients on the street. For a while I thought I saw them everywhere”. Now I’m about to say there are 2 was to read this, but I mean this in a “I’ve read this is in two different ways” kinda way not in a “this can only be interpreted in these 2 ways” kinda way ok we’re embracing the de-classicising of literature here (I have no idea if that’s the right word or if that even makes sense but hopefully you know what I mean, I’m tired, bare with me) and we are open to any and all possible interpretations of things in any way they’re written so whooo if you read this quote in a different way let me know would love to hear it, these are the two ways I read it:

Firstly, that when she refers to “her” Inej means Heleen but edits her words as a continuation of this vulnerability she is forcing herself to share in this scene. If we exclude her being vulnerable with the reader, this is the most vulnerable we ever see Inej make herself - aka, this is the only time she allows herself to be deeply vulnerable out loud with another character. I think this closest other time we get is with Nina on the boat to Fjerda when Inej is trying to ward of flashbacks and she tells Nina why she doesn’t have the Crow Cup tattoo. However, that scene is written from Inej’s perspective and therefore gives her the opportunity to show the reader a lot more vulnerability than she shows Nina (eg when she has flashbacks the reader knows but Nina doesn’t because Inej is just egging her on to keep singing and distracting her; Nina knows something is happening but she isn’t being brought into the moment to share it because Inej isn’t in a position where she’s able to share her vulnerability) so our memory of this scene being particularly vulnerable is actually more about Inej being very honest with us, which of course isn’t an active choice, and less about her being very honest with Nina. Having the Bathroom Scene ™️ from Kaz’s perspective gives us the opportunity to have Inej’s openness and vulnerability in the scene far stronger since she has to say something out loud for us to know with certainty that she’s thinking it. Arguably if it had been a less vulnerable scene, Inej would have said “her clients” in reference two Tante Heleen as an added layer of the separation she practices, but here she changes it to “my” clients because she is forcing herself to be uncomfortable because she wants to be able to be more open with Kaz and she wants to continue this vulnerability that she’s allowing herself ti have with him. I feel like I just some variation on vulnerable like 20 times.

The second way I read it is linking back to our main theme of Inej and the Wraith as separate entities. “Inej talks a lot about how she would leave her body behind to exist only in her mind, in passages I find particularly reminiscent of passages in The Handmaid’s Tale (although please note soc is not very explicit whereas tht is incredibly explicit). But to take that idea further, I think there are certain hints, and I think this is possibly the biggest one, to imply that one of Inej’s ptsd responses it to actually view herself today as a separate entity from who she was during her indenture, effectively saying ‘yes these things happened to this body but they didn’t happen to this mind so that should make it easier’ to herself, which is massively self-destructive in nature because it almost creates this idea that she needs to get over who she once was and move on, very similar to the way Kaz Brekker represses Kaz Rietveld. Arguably, what she’s saying is the worst of it is this fracturing of the self that has been created by what they put her through and that she cannot seem to escape from.” (I put that bit in quote marks because I didn’t feel like rewriting it so that’s copy and pasted exactly from my Bathroom Scene™️ analysis post)

Ok there’s one other specific quote I want to bring up and it’s the end of Chapter 2 of Six of Crows, I did talk about it in my favourite quotes analysis of the chapter (which I am planning to continue btw chapter 5 up next if anyone wants to read these posts for the previous chapters let me know and I’ll tag you).

"Inej pitied the boy who might die alone with no one to comfort him in his last hours or who might live and spend his life as an exile. But the night's work wasn't over yet, and the Wraith didn't have time for traitors"

This I think, unless there are more I haven’t noticed/thought of yet is the only other time we get an suggestion of Inej perceiving herself and the Wraith as separate, and it’s arguably more concrete than the amendment of pronouns I just talked about for a ridiculous amount of time. To me, this quote shows Inej as being the girl she was, the girl she should have been, and the Wraith being a creation of necessity to aid survival. Inej is a religious young woman from Ravka who has been through far more than she should have done, but the Wraith was born and raised on the blood-soaked streets of Ketterdam and has every intention of surviving them - no matter the cost.

(That was also pretty much direct quotes from what said before)

It is now quarter past one in the morning. If you made it this far then thanks so much for reading I hope it made sense and was interesting, I feel like I’ve made enough “me rambling about grishaverse after midnight” posts that we can call it a series so if I think of a good name for it I’ll go through a tag them all so if anyone fancies trying to wade through all my middle-of-the-night-analysis nonsense you can find it all together because let me tell you something I never quite acknowledge just how much I’ve posted until I have to scroll back through to find stuff I’ve said in order to reference it in a new post. Anyway, thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed and if you have any thoughts linked to this or grishaverse analysis in general please comment or send me an ask I would love to hear it.

EDIT: sorry, correction, I just realised Inej didn’t kill the parem-drugged fabrikator she killed the parem-drugged squaller; the fabrikator was Nina’s childhood friend Nestor, he died from a combination of injury and the drug

[kasagia]

Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist

One-shots

I'll be back for you Part 2

The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment.

My love will never die

You knew Aleksander before he was a Black Heretic, a foldmaker. You married him and promised to be by his side through thick and thin. And you never, ever regretted your choice. However, one day, your paths parted in an unfortunate way, and you both believed that the love of your lives was gone forever. After many centuries, you meet again with a man very similar to your Aleksander. And you start to wonder... maybe your love never die after all?

Familiar flame

Aleksander lost his Y/N the day he created the fold. The king's soldiers killed his one true love in front of his eyes. His despair and anger led to the creation of a dark fold. After centuries, Aleksander meets a girl identical to his beloved… her reincarnation. Will he be able to restore your memories? Could he get you back after centuries of mourning you? Or maybe Aleksander finally lost his mind…

Devoted

Aleksander and Baghra have been your family since you left the house of your father, who blamed you for your mother's death in childbirth. You and Sasha became more; he was your epic love interest and mentor. You wanted to be just like him… until one event radically changed your beliefs and led you to doubt your great purpose.

Second Waltz

For the Winter Fete, you were supposed to waltz with your friend the tidemaker and at the same time use your Grishas' power to entertain the king, queen and all the other self-righteous nobles. In your wildest dreams, you wouldn't have thought you'd end up dancing with General Kirigan...

Would've, Could've, Should've...

Your life would have been completely different if it wasn't for Aleksander. You regret meeting him... but saints only know that he is the one who can make you feel this way...

Innocent

You're not like the other Grishas. It took you some time to master your power, but you're still unsure of your control over it. That's why it scares you when you're chosen for a special mission in Fjerda. Luckily your general cares about all his people... or at least about you... actually way too much, but you're not going to complain at all.

In the darkness

After you and Alina destroyed the fold, she killed Aleksander and became queen at Nikolai's side, you took the place, tittle and chambers of the General of the Second Army. And then… strange things starts to happen in the darkness.

Between the bookshelves

It was so easy for you to fall for the Black General. It took him one visit to the library in the Grand Palace to catch your eye and make you fantasise about him - a dangerous, mysterious ancestor of the Black Heretic. But that was all that could happen between you two... fantasy, daydreaming, or dreaming at midnight in the privacy of your chamber. He was the strongest of all Grishas, and you… you were just a librarian woman. But maybe your fantasies and huge/little crush on Darkling can turn into something much more?

Lovers to strangers

The worst thing that can happen is to go from a passionate, ardent feeling to indifference. Turning the people you held dearest into strangers. But could YOUR Aleksander ever be a stranger to you again? You have to choose what is more important to you. Ravka and the crown that is rightfully yours, or the man who trampled on your naive, young heart. The choice should be simple... right?

Mini-series

Bring me a dream (suspended until 06.2024)

I've been waiting a long time to meet you in my dreams…

I've never heard silence quite this loud...

And all I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life…

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love... The slowest way is never loving them enough...

But I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down... And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now...

And I want you now, wanna need you forever, In the heat of your electric touch.

Everyone has their soulmate���someone they are meant for. This was due to Sankta Maradaia, who decided to connect two souls destined for each other during their sleep to show them their other half, Sankta also sent them a tattoo of their loved one name, so that souls thirsting for each other can finally be united. Aleksander never had even one, short dream about his soulmate. Just a tattoo that has taunted him for ages. The Darkling believes this is his punishment for creating the fold, another privilege of being condemned. To never know his soulmate. But one day, a dream about a sun summoner comes to him. Someone equal to him. Someone meant for him. And he promises himself to find you at all costs. Not just because of your powers.

❄️️Warm my heart❄️️

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit.

Can't catch me now...

Part 1 Part 2

The Hunger Games in Ravka. 12 districts. 12 tributes. 12 mentors. 11 young people die every year. 1 winner. Aleksander was a mentor to many. But only your face will haunt him for centuries.

[mcrco]

Kaz Brekker x unnamed character that uses she/her pronouns.

Fluff drabble. 681 words.

He catches himself thinking about her at random points during his day. Wondering to himself what she would feel like under his touch if he could just find a way to work through his trauma. 

She laughs at something Jesper says, head thrown back and not a care in the world and Kaz can't keep his eyes off her. She's mesmerizing in all that she does and Kaz doesn't quite understand it because she's just a little too loud, a little too strange, and yet she's perfect the way that she is.

Her head turns and she catches his eye, returning his frown with a smile full of crooked bottom teeth and he almost smiles back. His head turns but his ears redden, the only sign of his real feelings.

When she takes too long to return from an errand he sent her on one night, he finds himself waiting up, heart racing with anxiety. She flits through his door long after midnight, somehow knowing he'd still be up and he breathes a sigh of relief.

"You worry too much," she says, placing down the item he'd sent her after. A job only she could do for him.

His eyes flit from the retrieved item and then to her, keeping eye contact for only a second. "I don't worry," he responds, ever playing the cold hearted role. His walls have been up for so long that he's forgotten he built them - a way to protect himself, a way to keep people at arm's length.

She lets out the start of a laugh, drawing his gaze back to her face. "I see you, Kaz Brekker," she says so softly, so seriously, that it makes his heart stutter with nerves. "I see how you watch me."

He thought he'd been better at hiding it from her. His head turns away and he shrugs. "You imagine things," he answers and then almost immediately berates himself internally. She's the last person that he wants to push away.

When he turns his head back in her direction, she's still there and she's grinning. It's like she knows him better than he knows himself and the look on her face says it all. It scares him and he can't quite pinpoint why or how, but it does. She leans towards him, mouth parted as if she has more to say and he pushes himself back, away from her.

Her mouth shuts instantly, expression changing to something he can't read and then she sighs. "Goodnight, Kaz," she says and the sound of her soft steps towards the door makes his heart ache.

"Wait," for once his mouth works faster than his brain, heart in control when he so rarely allows that. She stops, looking at him over her shoulder in silent question. He's quiet for too long, trying to find the words to say and for some reason she's patient. "Stay?" The word comes out before he can think about what it means.

He doesn't have to explain and somehow she gives him more than he could find the words to ask for.

That night she lays on one side of his bed, separated from him by a barrier of blankets, and sleeps. He doesn't have to explain why he's touch avoidant or how he can't just get over it for her in a night and she doesn't ask it of him. 

He lays on his back, head turned to look at her, to watch her sleep. A sort of peace that he's never known settles over him like a blanket of security. Sleep washes over Kaz and when he wakes in the morning, she's gone but he isn't afraid.

Somehow he knows she'll be back the next night, even if he doesn't ask. She sees him, understands him even without him vocalizing what he wants. Eventually he'll work up to being able to touch her without the gloves on, to bringing his walls down around her.

She won't ask him to, won't try to force it. And he realises, that's all he's ever wanted from her anyway.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part twenty-two

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: fluff(?), neutral

el's thoughts: nina and y/n's friendship >>>> okay that's all :) it's a pretty short chapter... but i hope you enjoy!

series masterlist

Everything hurt. And why was the room moving?

Y/N came awake slowly, her thoughts jumbled. She remembered the thrust of Oomen’s knife, climbing the crates, people shouting as she dangled from the tips of her fingers. Come on down, Phoenix. But Kaz had returned for her. They must have made it onto the Ferolind.

She tried to roll over, but the pain was too intense, so she settled for turning her head. Nina was drowsing on a stool tucked into the corner by the table, Y/N’s hand grasped loosely in her own.

“Nina,” she croaked. Her throat felt like it was coated in wool.

Nina jolted awake. “I’m up!” she blurted, then peered blearily at Y/N. “You’re awake.” She sat up straighter. “Oh, Saints, you’re awake!”

And then Nina burst out crying.

Y/N tried to sit up, but could barely lift her head. 

“No, no,” Nina said. “Don’t try to move, just rest.”

“Are you okay?”

Nina started to laugh through her tears. “I’m fine. You’re the one who got stabbed. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s just so much easier to kill people that take care of them.” Y/N blinked, and then they both started laughing. “Owwww,” groaned Y/N. “Don’t make me laugh. That feels awful.”

Nina winced. “How do you feel?”

“Sore, but not terrible. Thirsty.”

Nina offered her a tin cup full of cold water. “It’s fresh. We had rain yesterday.”

Y/N sipped carefully, letting Nina hold her head up. “How long was I out?”

“Three days, almost four. Jesper is driving us all crazy. I don’t think I’ve seen him sit still for more than two minutes together.” She stood up abruptly. “I need to tell Kaz you’re awake! We thought-”

“Wait,” Y/N said, grabbing for Nina’s hand. “Just… can we not tell him right away?”

Nina sat back down, her face puzzled. “Sure, but-”

“Just for tonight.” She paused. “Is it night?”

“Yes. Just past midnight, actually.”

“Do we know who came after us at the harbor?”

“Pekka Rollins. He hired the Black Tips and the Razorgulls to keep us from getting out of Fifth Harbor.”

“How did he know where we were leaving from? How did he do anything about it? I thought Kaz took care of him?”

“We’re not entirely sure yet.”

“I saw Oomen-”

“Oomen’s dead. Kaz killed him.”

“He did?”

“Kaz killed a lot of people. Rotty saw him go after the Black Tips who had you up on the crates. I believe his exact words were, ‘There was enough blood to paint a barn red.’”

Y/N closed her eyes. “So much death. And yet it never sticks with me. How many close calls have I had now?”

“Too many for comfort.”

“Maybe, but not enough to cause any actual harm apparently.”

Nina eyed the Inferni skeptically. “What are you talking about?”

She sighed, “Nothing.”

“He was afraid for you.”

Y/N hummed in confusion before she realized what she was talking about. Kaz. “Kaz isn’t afraid of anything.”

“You should’ve seen his face when he brought you to me.”

“I’m a very valuable investment.”

Nina’s jaw dropped. “Tell me he didn’t say that.”

“Not directly, but it was heavily implied.”

“Idiot.”

“How’s Matthias?”

“Also an idiot. Do you think you can eat?”

Y/N shook her head. She didn’t feel hungry at all.

“Try,” urged Nina. “There wasn’t much of you to begin with.”

“I just want to rest for now.”

“Of course,” Nina said. “I’ll turn down the lantern.”

Y/N reached for her again. “Don’t. I don’t want to go back to sleep yet.”

“I could read to you if I had anything to read. There’s a Heartrender at the Little Palace who can recite epic poetry for hours. Then you’d wish you had died.”

Y/N laughed then winced. “Don’t say that. I find Toyla’s poetry entertaining.”

Silence settled over the two in a comforting blanket. Neither making a move to break it, only basking in its presence, but after a few moment Y/N spoke up. “Talk to me.”

“Your eyes are drooping. You should sleep.”

“Don’t like boats. Nightmares.”

“Me too.”

“Sing something, then.”

Nina laughed, “Remember what I said about wishing you were dead? You really do not want to hear me sing. Plus I only know old Ravkan folk tunes and Kerch drinking songs.”

Y/N hummed, “Ravkan folk tunes. Something nostalgic.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” The Heartrender started to sing in their mother tongue and the girl on the table fought hard to hold back her laughter. 

“You’re right. You couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket.”

“I told you that.”

“Go on.”

Nina’s voice was really terrible. But it helped to keep Y/N on this boat, at this moment. She didn’t want her mind drifting to all her nightmares from when she was a child. When she was a child and used to run free in the fields with her brother. Their mother calling them home to eat, their father bringing sweets home for them from town. 

“Catch me!” The small voice was heard over the strong autumn winds that blew around them as the young child threw themselves into Y/N’s arms. She laughed and spun her brother around the best a ten-year-old could do to a six-year-old. 

“Oooh a stowaway on my ship?” She bounced him onto her hip to keep him up. He shook his head fervently as peels of laughter fell from his small pink lips. “You know what I do to stowaways?” She spoke in a loud voice making it deeper to fit the character she acted out. The little boy laughed louder, “No! No! Please!” 

“I’m sorry, young man, but it must be done!” She giggled as she tossed him into the giant pile of leaves their father gathered that morning. They both laughed louder as she threw herself down next to him.

She fought to keep her tears at bay, pushing the memory of her brother out of her mind. 

Nina was still singing, something about a sailor who abandoned his sweetheart. A vaguely familiar melody.

“Teach me the chorus again, Neens.”

“You should rest.”

“Chorus.”

So Nina taught her the words, and they sang together, fumbling through the verses, hopelessly out of key, until the lanterns burned out.

~*~

taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes

[midnight-rain-fics]

Peace

{part 2}

{Fandom: Grishaverse}

{Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! reader}

Summary: Nightmares are hard to deal with and Kaz’s presence usually helps, until one night it doesn’t.

“The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

Y/N silently walked up the creaking stairs of the slat, she was no wraith but she could be quiet when needed.

It was two bells past midnight and sleep seemed to have decided to elude her. That only left her with two options.

Stare at the wall of her dingy little room, reminisce about everything that went wrong in her life and slowly go mad.

Or annoy Kaz because he had no sleep schedule whatsoever and the man basically survived on black coffee. He added extra cream and sugar to it when he thought no one was looking.

But Y/N was always looking at him. Even when he didn't seem to notice her presence.

Because Kaz was the kind of person who knew how to spin his tales to make himself a mystery and Y/N hated that.

She hated him, the way he carried himself, the way his confidence was ever so present. But what she hated most about him was how he never seemed to falter.

He might have a thousand breakdowns she or anyone else might not know about but in front of everyone, he was Kaz Brekker.

That bastard of the Barrel.

Dirty hands.

The boy who came to see the work done.

He had a thousand names and a thousand tricks to how he got them.

Y/N hated it all.

And she hated everything little thing that made him, him.

The knock on the door was tentative but Kaz knew who it was before she even spoke. There was only one person who liked to bother him at such hours.

"Come on in"

Y/N silently walked into the office without sparing Kaz a glance and sprawled on the chair in front of Kaz's table.

"Couldn't sleep?" His raspy voice was chilling in the quiet of the night. Y/N looked up to see Kaz's eyes trained on what looked like a map for the next heist.

"No, I just like to stay awake through the night so I have under-eye bags"

"Knowing you, that seems plausible"

Y/N scoffed under her breath and walked over to the bookshelf, her fingers tracing the books that she had already read.

Her fingers stopped on an unfamiliar book, "when did you get this one?"

If Y/N was a heartrender she might have noticed Kaz's breath hitch as she picked up the book.

"It's the sequel to the book you were reading last time" Kaz's voice was a whisper but Y/N heard him, just like she always did, "it seemed you were finished with it"

Y/N would never admit it to herself but the way her heart soared in her chest was embarrassing. Downright pitiful.

But she could not stop her lips from quirking up in a smile, "you got the next book in the duology?"

"Trilogy" Kaz corrected off-handedly, averting his eyes from Y/N's face, illuminated by the moonlight peeking through his window.

"There's another one?"

"You read the books yet you don't even know how many of them there are"

"I read your books" Y/N emphasized, earning an irritated look from Kaz, "I didn't know you read good books that had sequels"

Kaz looked up from his paperwork, eyes narrowed at the girl in front of him, "what kind of books did you think I read?"

Y/N flipped a page of the book in her hand, "boring ones"

The huff that left Kaz's lips and the eye roll that followed was enough to make Y/N bite her cheek to try to stop the smile that threatened to grace her lips.

Maybe this was all they would have, witty words with secret meanings spoken in the late hours of the night.

The words might never mean something but they were enough for now.

Kaz did not have anything to offer Y/N, not for her kindness and not for her friendship. And though she might never know what he wanted to say; what he's wanted to say for a long time, what he might never be able to say.

She could have this remainder of whatever human part of him, that worried so relentlessly for her well-being.

He knew she would like the book. Just as she always did.

Kaz Rietveld had believed in stories of fairies and princes and faraway lands but Kaz Brekker knew they were all lies told to manipulate and screw over naive people.

But the way Y/N lost herself in a story; in a world that did not exist made Kaz believe that there might be something akin to magic that existed, in her eyes as she drank in the words, and in her lips as she unconsciously mouthed words she did not understand.

“You should go to sleep” Kaz’s cold voice startled Y/N. She looked up with wide eyes to find Kaz staring at her, his lips set in a straight line and eyes guarded.

“No thank you” Y/N scoffed, meeting his eyes. Her eyes clashed with his dark brown eyes and Y/N had the urge to look away, like she always did.

Eye contact was intimate, something about two souls trying to connect with each other only through their gaze. Y/N could never bring herself to look into his eyes.

Not when she felt so much and he might feel nothing.

“You are going to hate yourself in the morning if you don’t sleep, Y/N” Kaz finally put down the map he had been working on and folded it neatly.

“Jokes on you, I am going to hate myself in the morning either way,” Y/N chuckled at the incredulous look on Kaz’s face, “I am kidding”

Kaz rolled his eyes and walked in front of the table he was working on, he leaned down, hands gripping the crow-headed cane until he was face to face with Y/N.

Y/N’s heart stuttered in her chest as she looked down at her book, pretending not to notice his close proximity.

“Why do you insist on being here when you should be sleeping?”

“And miss out on all this bonding time we are having, no chance”

The book that she was reading was quickly snatched out of her hands, “hey!”

“Y/N”

Y/N scowled as she met Kaz’s eyes, “if you didn’t want me to bother you, you could’ve just said so”

“That’s not what I meant”

“What do you want me to say, Kaz? That I have nightmares and I can’t be alone so here I am” Y/N shook her head and stood up, “Is that what you wanted me to say? That I am weak”

Y/N could not be in that room anymore, she thought that she could seek comfort where the ghosts of her past didn’t haunt her anymore.

But all she saw now was the unmoving exterior of a boy who did not care.

Kaz watched Y/N leave, he threw the book that was still in his hand on the table and gripped the cane, the pointed beak of the crow digging into his hand.

All he saw was the silhouette of a girl who cared too much.

[a-asterias]

— micaela's december recs

ty to all these amazing writers who have left me with butterflies in my stomach and/or tears rolling down my face, much appreciated <3

THE HUNGER GAMES

— finnick odair.

wildest dreams by @mediocre-daydreams

the only thing that matters by @s1ater

out of the woods by @blondedmuse

make belief by @t-horn-n

↳ unspoken

↳ deathbed

↳ it's your voice

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

— aemond targaryen.

bane of my existence, object of my desire by @jasonsmirrorball

dragons bane by @house-strong

not a child anymore by @sansaorgana

— jacaerys velaryon.

go as a dream by @aphroditesmoon

bruising kisses by @house-strong

thus always to tyrants by @echnated

HARRY POTTER

— george weasley.

an exhibition of muggle dueling by @theweasleysredhair

— cedric diggory.

midnight feasts and evening strolls by @mentally-in-northern-italy

MARAUDERS

— james potter.

april fool's by @theweasleysredhair

wrong idea by @mentally-in-northern-italy

— sirius black.

the way you look at her by @theweasleysredhair

↳ if you love me let me know

— remus lupin.

full moon by @theweasleysredhair

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS

— ethan nakamura.

(don't) go. by @honigmilch

GRISHAVERSE

— kaz brekker.

not letting go by @honigmilch

sociopath by @magpiencrow

three taps by @happyyyandcrazyyy

bloody hands by @anthonysharmaa

THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY

— conrad fisher.

finally by @mentally-in-northern-italy

STRANGER THINGS

— steve harrington.

cardigan by @marwritesgood

nine facts, one lie by @stevebabey

↳ so full of love

— eddie munson.

grand gesture by @appocalipse

TOP GUN

— bradley "rooster" bradshaw.

you said you'd grow old with me by @blue-aconite

— nick "goose" bradshaw.

heat waves, inflatable pools, you by @duchesstypewriter

WEDNESDAY

— ajax petropolus.

she can't know by @loveharlow

[omgkatherine01]

Creatures of the Night: Chapter 7 - The Sun Summoner

Series Masterlist

Chapter 6, Chapter 8

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x female reader

Please comment, like and share ❤

Everywhere you had asked, you got no answer. No definitive way to cross the Fold and come out alive. It was a fool's game. A death wish. And so the four of you found yourselves back in the Crow Club, sitting in a quiet area.

You sighed softly as you leaned back when Jesper all of a sudden spoke with a frown, "Here's what I don't get."

Inej twirled her knife on the table, "We're going to be here all night."

You raised an eyebrow and smirked as you watched Jesper frowning at Inej with offended look, "Rude. Why haven't they tried going under it? Just dig a tunnel."

"Tried that," Kaz answered, "More than a century ago. Something heard them digging."

You frowned, "What?" you asked in confusion.

Jesper shook his head, "It was made hundreds of years ago by that crazy Grisha--"

"The Black Heretic," Inej cut in, giving him a look before she looked at you, "He was like you. A Shadow Summoner."

"They've got one in their army now," Jesper said and frowned again, "General Kirigan?" He looked at you, "And we have one here as well."

"Your point?" Inej asked before you can question him.

"Well, since it's obvious that y/n is from our world--since who she is--and a Shadow Summoner is her kind, and the General..." He looked at you, ignoring both Kaz and Inej's warning looks, "Can't one of you unmake it?"

You hesitated to answer and just shrugged lightly, "I--I don't know." Inej stared down at Jesper, "Have you ever put out fire by adding more fire? She's still learning to control her powers, and you want to send her to test if she can take it down?"

Jesper was silent for a long moment before clearing his throat, "Yeah... okay, I get where you going with it. So who can take it down?"

"A Sun Summoner."

You noticed Kaz rolling his eyes at the answer. "Right, then, one of those," Jesper muttered.

"Doesn't exist," Kaz said.

"Doesn't exist yet," Inej said.

Kaz leaned forward, "Dreesen comes into town, doesn't waste a minute. Sends out for a crew to steal something but doesn't specify what. Is it heavy, large, worth more than a million on the black market? Maybe he doesn't know."

Inej glanced from Jesper to you, and then looked at Kaz, "We can let this one go, Kaz."

Jesper voiced his agreement, shifting forward in his seat as he shrugged, "It sounds like a trap, anyway."

He took a sip from his drink while you frowned with thoughts. "Is it?" you suddenly asked, making the trio look at you.

"It just--you know, a trap is usually straightforward," you said, "A clear goal, and a clear path to said goal. Crossing the fold to bring back an unspecified item? That doesn't sound like a trap. It sounds like a secret. Secrets are kept for a reason."

Jesper raised his eyebrows and tilted his head as he gave a small nod. Kaz looked from you to Jesper and Inej, "Y/n is right, a trap would sound easy. This is something else."

One of Kaz's men stepped up the steps and closer to the four of you, looking at Kaz, "Boss, boss. We intercepted a note from Dreesen."

Kaz straightened, "Did you, now?"

"It's for the owner of the Orchid," he said, "Says they require the services of a Heartrender." You looked from Kaz to Inej and Jesper in confusion, not knowing what that word mean. "Tonight."

"A Heartrender?" Kaz asked. "Why?"

"Doesn't say," the man said, "Just they need it before midnight."

"You don't bring in a Heartrender unless you need an answer out of someone who isn't willing to talk," Kaz said. He stood, his hands firmly clasped around his cane as he willed his bad leg to straighten, "That's how we get this job before anyone else. Bring Dreesen a Heartrender."

"Boss, just one problem," the man said, "Pekka Rollins knows."

You looked at Kaz in confusion and looked at the dark look on his face at the name. "Pekka Rollins."

--

Let us play

We'll be good

We can bring her to you.

Just say the words.

"Y/n."

You blinked when you heard Inej's voice softly calling to you and touching your arm gently, pulling you from the eerie voices you heard in your mind.

You looked at her, shoving your hands deep into your coat pockets. She gave you a concern look and you gave her a small smile. "I'm fine," you said quietly.

You looked from her to around you at the dark and quiet streets. You, Inej and Jesper were waiting for Kaz to come with a... Heartrender.

But it didn't take long for Kaz to return... without one.

"Well... I take it, it went well," Jesper said sarcastically as you stared at Kaz, that way he was clenching his jaw.

"He's inside."

"Pekka Rollins?" Inej asked and Kaz gave a small nod.

We can bring the woman

Give the word

You turned to the building at the eerie whispers.

We'll be good

"Fine," you said quietly, and Inej, Jesper and Kaz looked at you but you stared at the building. "Bring me the Heartrender." The walls of the building slowly turned dark as you stared at it.

The four of you watched and waited for a long moment until the dark walls slowly disappeared to show the grey color of the walls. The wall next to us turned darker and all of a sudden a woman fell from inside the dark wall to the ground in front of you, surprising you and the others.

Kaz raised an eyebrow, not hiding the surprise of what he just witness. The woman quickly sat up, quickly looked around her in shock and surprise.

"What in--" she started but cut herself off when she looked up at you.

Jesper grinned, "That, was--how did you call it? Awesome!"

The woman quickly stood up, rubbing her bare arms from the cold night, and you suddenly felt bad for what you did. "Sorry," you said softly as Kaz stepped forward.

You looked at him, and he raised his eyebrow again, before pulling on a half smirk before looking at the woman. Was that proudness I just caught from him? you thought as you quickly looked back at the woman.

"A Heartrender, I assume?" Kaz asked.

The woman swallowed but nodded, "Yes." Kaz nodded, "Good. The name is Kaz Brekker. We need you, right now. I'll pay for it."

You watched her shivering and she gave Kaz a look, "Well can I at least go back inside to get my coat? It's freezing out here." She frowned and looked quickly over her shoulder and then back at him, "How did I get from been in my room to here?"

Kaz glanced at you and then back at her, "Never mind that."

You unwrapped your coat from your body with a soft sigh, and then quickly wrapped it around the Heartrender, who was surprised by your kindness.

You gave a small sympathetic smile as Kaz spoke again, glancing from you to Jesper and Inej, "Let's go." Kaz handed the Heartrender a bag and she glanced inside.

Kaz started to walk away as Inej opened her mouth to speak. Jesper frowned but quickly followed. Inej sighed and rolled her eyes in annoyance before the two of you and the Heartrender followed.

"Since when can you do that?" Jesper asked you as he all of a sudden turned to you but kept walking.

You knew he was talking about the shadows finding the Heartrender and brining her to you. You shook your head, "I just found out..." you muttered.

"Well, can't you do--" Jesper started but Kaz cut him off, "Enough, Jesper."

Jesper made a noise of annoyance but didn't speak again.

As the five of you were walking, the Heartrender glanced from you to Kaz for a long moment.

As you all approached a large house with a gate, the Heartrender spoke up, speaking to Kaz. "I really appreciate new business, but you've only paid for an hour of my time, and I have to be back at the Orchid."

"The Orchid isn't safe tonight," Kaz said, "Your life's in danger with this job. Make yourself scarce for a few days afterwards."

The Heartrender looked at him, "Mr. Brekker, are you threatening me? Really? Even if I'm nice, my boss will call the stadwatch on you."

Kaz turned to her, stopping all of you, "It's not me you're in danger with. It's Pekka Rollins."

"My boss would call the stadwatch on him as well," she said.

Kaz tilted his head lightly, "Which is why your boss is already dead." She stared at him in shock, and he turned and walked to the gate where a man stepped forward, "Who are you lot?"

"We're here to see Dreesen."

"You're not with Pekka's crew," the man said.

Kaz dug into his pocket and pulled a bag of money, and threw it to the man, "And you're not in Pekka's pocket anymore if you don't owe him."

The man didn't ask any more questions and instead let the five of you in through the gates. As you walked to the door, Jesper frowned at Kaz as he whispered, "Hey, where did you get that coin?"

"Hey!" You all stopped and turned to look at the man who let you in. "One of these has a hole in it!"

Jesper smirked, "Saints."

"Inside," Kaz hissed, and you all walked quickly into the house. "Inside."

You were escorted to a rather grand office; one with large golden doors with intricate carvings. The doors opened and you all stepped inside.

There was a man sitting behind the desk, and he wasn't too surprised to see you all. "One look and I can tell. Criminals. I'm not meeting anyone 'til midnight."

"We heard you needed a Heartrender," Kaz said, and the woman beside you waved her fingers.

"Hmm," the man, Dreesen hummed as he slowly stood up. "All right, she stays, the rest of you, out."

The Heartrender glanced at you and took a hesitantly step forward, but then Kaz's cane shot forward and stopped her. Kaz stared at Dreesen, "She stays. And we have an exclusive on this job."

The Heartrender moved back to your side as Dreesen walked around his desk, "Mr. Brekker... No businessman worth his salt hires his first applicant."

Kaz raised an eyebrow, "No. No, I understand. Of course, I will have to report you to the guild for kidnapping and harboring a prisoner without chain of title."

One of Dreesen's men pulled back his coat to reveal a gun at his side, but so did Jesper. Dreesen stared down at Kaz, "You wouldn't.

"No businessman worth his salt bargains for what he can take," Kaz said.

Dreesen approached Kaz slowly and they stared down at each other. Until the Heartrender raised her hand once more, and you noticed for the first time a tattoo on her wrist, which you saw on Inej's wrist.

"I have to be back in an hour," she said softly before lowering her hand.

"Are you two done staring each other down or what?" you asked, the tone in your voice was surprisingly full of boredom. Dreesen's eyes moved from Kaz to you, and you raised an eyebrow.

"All right, come on," he said and walked past you to the doors.

As his men followed, you let out a breath as Kaz glanced at you, and glanced down to see the Heartrender was holding your wrist without you knowing it or even felt it. You frowned and she let you go. You looked at her face and she gave you a quick wink before you followed Dreesen.

One of Dreesen's men opened a door and you froze when you saw stairs leading down.

Basement

Inej stopped by your side and looked at you with a frown, concern by your frozen state.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

You swallowed and nodded when Kaz and Jesper turned to you. "Of course," you lied, and followed Dreesen inside, letting out a shaky breath.

You're okay, you thought to yourself. Everything's okay. You're not back there. Deep breath.

You felt someone was watching you as they followed behind you, not knowing it was Kaz. After you told him about what happened in your childhood, he knew why you froze, so he kept an eye on you until you all reached to the room.

The first thing your eyes landed on was at a figure hunched over in a chair with a bag over their head.

"Who's this?" Kaz asked.

Dreesen walked to the figure on the chair and looked at Kaz, "So you don't know everything after all." You all stared at him, and he took off the bag to show a young boy.

"This is Alexei Stepanov," Dreesen said, and you stared at the young boy who breathed heavily and watching you all with fear. Your eyes soften at the stare. "Two weeks ago, young Alexei here crossed through the Fold on foot. Alone."

Dreesen walked toward the table next to Jesper and poured himself a cup of wine. "How?" Inej asked.

"They're keeping it quiet, but allegedly he was one of a few witnesses to an event," he said.

That prompted Kaz to finally break his stare on the shivering boy, to Dreesen, ignoring the boy in the chair who finally uttered his first words since your arrival.

"Water," he asked, his voice was scratchy and dry.

His voice made you snap from your spot, and you moved to the table Dreesen was next to. He raised his eyebrows as you poured water in a glass, and opened his mouth but when he saw Inej glaring at him, daring him to stop you, he closed his mouth.

"What kind of event?" Kaz finally asked as he watched you walking closer to Alexei with the glass. Alexei's eyes quickly moved from you to the glass you were holding.

You kneeled down in front of him and placed the glass to his lips, and he immediately started drinking. You stared at him sadly as Dreesen spoke up, "I know an expedition was swarmed by Volcra. Should've been a total loss, but something happened. Some device detonated. Obliterated the Volcra, lit up the dark like a forest fire. I know it wasn't a fire or else no one would have survived. This was some invention no one had seen before." He pointed at Alexei who now finished drinking. "He knows. But he doesn't seem to be able to articulate his account of events. Some form of traumatic lapse."

You looked from Dreesen to Alexei who looked down, his eyes were still fearful. You didn't knew how you could help him. "So..." Dressen trailed off and you glanced over to see him looking at the Heartrender.

She hesitated and looked at Kaz. He nodded lightly and she walked toward you and Alexei. You placed you hand on his shoulder gently as you stood up.

You walked back and placed the glass on the table before standing by Kaz's side. The Heartrender took your place and kneeled in front of Alexei. She caressed his face gently, whispering comfort to him, "You're safe now." She brushed her fingers on his wrist and smiled softly at him, "Now you can just speak and I will just listen."

Alexei swallowed but spoke softly, "All right."

"Tell me what happened in the Fold," she said softly. "What saved you?"

There was a moment of silent until he spoke softly, "You won't believe me... but... it was a Sun Summoner."

Inej gasped softly and placed her hand on her chest. Jesper tilted his head, frowning in surprise, but Kaz remained silent, though with a quick glance to the side, you could see no change in his face. No twitch of his lips, no furrow of his brows. Then he narrowed his eyes.

Dreesen seemed pleased and walked closer. He bend down to look at Alexie. "Who was it?"

Alexie breathed out. "If I tell you, you'll set me free?"

Dreesen nodded and gave him a small smile, "You have my word. I'll set you free." Deep down, you felt it was a lie. "You're in Ketterdam now, Alexei. You can go anywhere in the world from here. Just imagine." You saw the hope in Alexei's eyes, and you took a step forward without realizing until Kaz's cane swiped in front of you, stopping you from interfering.

You glanced at him with a sad frown and he glanced at you with a shake of his head. "Come on," Dreesen encouraged softly.

After a nod from the Heartrender, he spoke hesitantly, "Her name is... Alina Starkov."

"Alina Starkov?" Dreesen repeated, and with a nod from the young boy, Dreesen smiled and nodded. "Good boy." He stood up and turned to look behind you and your friends. "Show me the manifest." Dreesen walked closer to his man and looked over the manifest.

Alexei looked at the Heartrender, and she smiled softly at him. "Perfect," you heard Dreesen saying next to you and you glanced at him.

"You'll set me free now?" Alexei asked.

Dreesen handed the manifest to his man, "Thank you. Of course." Before you realized it, Dreesen turned to Alexei and shot him in the head.

The Heartrender screamed as she fell backward while you jumped in surprise and shock. Inej and Jesper were startled and were ready to pull their weapons out but resisted. The only one who wasn't surprised or jumpy, was Kaz.

The chair Alexei's body was on, fell backward with his body and fell on the floor. Dreesen walked calmly to the body and stared it down. You glared at him, and he turned to you and the rest, "We are now the only people west of the Fold with this information." He stared at Kaz, "My ship sails for West Ravka at dawn. If you can prove that you have a way through the Fold and back, I'll put you on that ship with an advance. If you don't, I'm giving this job to Pekka Rollins."

He walked past you to the stairs, and Kaz turned to him, "Give me a day. I'll have a plan."

Dreesen looked at him, "You have until sunrise, then your ship will have sailed, Mr. Brekker. The prize is one million kruge. Now bring me Alina Starkov."

With that said, he walked out with his men following. You swallowed and turned back to the body.

Oh my God what did I let myself get into?! you thought as you stared down at the body of Alexei in sadness.

-

Taglist:

@lyria-skyfall, @myheartfollower, @cleverzonkwombatsludge, @mjlock, @clairewinchester14, @losteroops, @venomsvl, @yvxcy, @wickedlovely121, @supergaybish101, @woowwwee, @zeeader, @twlegit, @phoenix666stuff, @mortalmorgan

[auroravictorium]

snow on the beach (pt. 1) (k.b.)

Summary: kaz tries to freeze reader to death, but he's actually just trying to do something nice.

Pairing(s): kaz brekker & reader (semi-stablished relationship)

Word Count: ~2.0k

Warnings: mentions of prior stabbing, allusions to kaz's touch aversion, mentions of a near-death experience, reader thinking about punching kaz because he's hot, kaz trying his best

Genre: fluff w a touch of angst at the end

Author's Note: had to break this beast into a two-parter, otherwise it would end up being way too long. thank you all so much for the love on the midnights series <3 i'm so glad you guys are enjoying this as much as i am while writing it!! tag list has been added at the bottom, so feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added :D happy reading loves!

part two

grishaverse masterlist

There were exactly six inches of distance between you and Kaz's shoulder, a fact you were acutely aware of as you walked down the cramped sidewalk. Cold air gusted off the Fifth Harbor, chilling you through your coat, and you pulled the collar up to stop the wind from reaching its icy fingers down your neck. If you could, you'd burrow yourself into Kaz and leech off his body warmth, but you knew that wouldn't be subtle as you patrolled the harbor. He also wouldn't enjoy the contact, so you kept your hands firmly to yourself.

"I told you to bring a scarf," Kaz muttered just loud enough for you to hear. He limped along without slowing, but you knew he was watching you out of his periphery.

"And I told you that I hate the cold. Why didn't you bring Matthias?" Your teeth chattered, and you tugged your coat tighter around you. If anyone could bear the chilly weather brewing over Kerch, it would be the Fjerdan. But no, Kaz woke you up at dawn and dragged you along on his scan of the harbor. Meanwhile, everyone else was back at the Slat, sleeping or staying warm by the fire. If you were more money-minded, you would charge him interest for the time he was taking trying to freeze you to death. 

"Because Matthias hates me," Kaz answered. "And I find you more tolerable." He looked unbothered and unaffected by the cold, aside from a dusting of red across his stupidly handsome cheekbones. You thought about punching him for looking so attractive. It was unfair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you just wanted to spend time with me." You glanced up at him, a smirk playing on your half-frozen lips. "But I must say, I'd enjoy this time spent together a bit more if I didn't feel like a walking ice block."

Anyone who knew Kaz only as the ruthless, greedy Dirtyhands wouldn't have noticed any change in his face. But you saw his lips twitch in an almost smile, and his eyes glittered with joy. He must've been in a great mood to risk letting his mask slip like that.

"You're impatient," he told you.

"You're cruel," you retorted, turning your eyes to the cloudy sky. 

The clouds were thick and dark, blocking most of the morning sunshine. Nasty rain was almost certain to happen, but with the frigid cold, a small hope blossomed in your chest that it might turn to snow. Rain was characteristic of Ketterdam, but snow? It didn't happen often enough for your taste. Ironic, considering your loathing of the cold, but there was something magical about the snow. It reminded you of when you were young and watched it fall through the cracked living room window of your childhood home.

Kaz didn't respond, but amusement radiated off of him. You dared to huddle closer to him for warmth, and you were pleased to discover he didn't seem all that inclined to move away. In fact, Kaz was completely unbothered by your closeness to him and your arm pressing against his. He waited for the terror to claim him as it usually did, but he was surprised and pleased to find that little came. He felt nothing more than a tad nauseated.

"Are we almost done? It's nearly breakfast time." If you didn't get next to a hearth soon, you would refuse liability for any acts of violence you committed. 

Kaz again didn't answer, and he remained silent for the next two minutes, even as you huffed and muttered under your breath. You halfheartedly considered pushing him into the road and seeing how well he could dodge a carriage.

After another minute of walking that felt like an hour on your numbing legs, you opened your mouth to ask what was next after the wintry patrol of the harbor. Kaz suddenly stopped walking, and you nearly ran into him. He either didn't notice or didn't care and gripped your elbow to tug you across the rough cobbled street and into an alleyway.

"Couldn't wait for the cold to get me?" you asked, taking in the grimy alley you'd been pulled into. You wouldn't blame Kaz for tiring of your pestering, but you hoped for a more scenic view if your demise was coming. Maybe a nice view of the harbor.

"I realized killing you myself would be more efficient," he answered. His lips quirked up in a smirk.

Kaz pulled you toward a doorway you hadn't initially noticed. Instinctively, you felt for the holster at your waist, but Kaz didn't seem concerned about safety. He was still uncharacteristically cheery, for him at least, and his shoulders were relaxed as he released you in front of the door and rapped his gloved knuckles against the wood three times.

"Has anyone ever told you how you have a way with words?"

You examined the door set into the brick wall: there was nothing special or flashy about it. It was a simple dark oak door leading into a building from the alleyway. You couldn't imagine Kaz making a house call, and walking through the front door on a heist wasn't his style. So why had he brought you here?

The door opened suddenly, and you nearly jumped in surprise. There stood a woman whose perfect tan skin and immaculately styled hair immediately told you that she was Grisha. You examined her more closely, searching for any imperfection, and concluded that she was a Corporalki. 

Her brown eyes flicked between the two of you suspiciously before she seemed to recognize the man at your side. She paled under his icy gaze. "Mister Brekker. I didn't- I must have missed your appointment," she said.

"No appointment, Amalia." He jerked his chin toward you. All hints of humor or amusement had disappeared from his voice. "She needs her tattoo. The crow and cup."

You looked up at him in surprise, your lips parting. After two years with the Dregs and almost a year in Kaz's closest circle, you were finally getting your tattoo? Most Dregs got it sooner, but yours had been put off. For a long time, you wondered if it was because you still needed to prove yourself as a valuable member of the Dregs. But here you were on this stranger's doorstep, and Kaz said this to Amalia as if it was a daily occurrence and not something you had been looking forward to for a long time.

You examined his face, looking for any indication of how he felt, but the expressive Kaz from your walk had disappeared and been replaced with the aloof Dirtyhands everyone feared. You nearly shivered at the sight; of course, you weren't afraid of Kaz anymore. But he so rarely wore that look around you that when he did, it reminded you of what he was capable of. He was not just the man who shared gentle touches of hands with you or tapped his cane against your boot when he wanted to remind you that he was there. He could be cold, calculating, and downright cruel when he needed to be.

Amalia nodded and poked her head out of the doorway to peer into the alley. "Of course. Come in." Her eyes flicked around, searching for anyone following before she stepped aside for the two of you.

Kaz led the way inside, ducking into the warm, incense-filled parlor. You trailed behind him, eyes on his neck as you tried to process the news that Kaz had decided not to tell you about. The door shut behind you, and you examined the dim, smoky entryway. One long, threadbare carpet along the creaky floor, an old staircase with a decaying railing, and a few obviously forged paintings on the peeling wallpapered walls.

"A moment alone, please," you murmured to Amalia as she passed. She moved into a room to your left and then shut the door to give the two of you privacy. Turning to Kaz, you raised your brows. "I'm getting my tattoo?"

Kaz turned to face you after removing his coat and throwing it over the rickety handrail. He leaned against the rotting wood and met your gaze. His eyes filled with warmth again as he looked at you; Dirtyhands had receded for now. "It's been two years," he said softly, so Amalia couldn't hear from the other room. His voice was unexpectedly tender, and you stepped closer to him. "It's overdue."

"You usually send new recruits to get theirs alone and see if they back out of it." You met his gaze. Your heart fluttered in your chest as one side of his mouth quirked upward. Every time he smiled, you were grateful you survived a dagger to the chest nearly five months ago and got the opportunity to finally see it.

"You're hardly a new recruit," he responded. Kaz's cheeks were pink, and you couldn't tell if it was from the heat of the parlor or whatever he was thinking. "And if I sent you alone, this wouldn't be much of a surprise."

"You wanted to surprise me?" you said softly. Your heart was going all mushy on you. Damn it. Pull it together. It's just a tattoo. But it was a tattoo that he came with you to get, even though he didn't have to and probably had a million other things to work on. 

Kaz scowled. "Don't be ridiculous." He had a reputation to uphold, and here you were, completely correct in accusing him of trying to surprise you. His heart flipped in his chest at the happiness on your face, but he maintained his frown. That happiness would be his ruin, but so be it. He hadn't spent three days by your bedside and walked through the blistering cold waiting for damn snowflakes to fall for nothing. He did it for you, for the smile that threatened to break down every barrier he'd put up around his heart and his emotions after Jordie died. 

The icy water of the harbor lapped at his ankles in warning. Stay close to shore, Kaz. 

"Kaz Brekker wanted to surprise me. I'm honored," you teased. You stepped closer and beamed up at him, unaware of how much further Kaz's thoughts went than the tattoo. The scowl on his face lightened, and he looked at you with an expression you didn't recognize on him at first. 

His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you realized what that look was.

Longing.

Kaz didn't move closer or further away, fighting against the water rising around him as your chests touched. You were so warm, so close, and he could see every beautiful shade of color in your eyes even in the dimness of the parlor. If he could paint, he would cover a million canvases with it to try and replicate it to be kept forever. He would make a miniature to keep in his jacket pocket, close to his heart.

He didn't realize that he'd leaned in until a wave of panic threatened to drown him, and he had to jerk away to get air. He turned away from you, and your heart sank in your chest. Not because he hadn't kissed you, but because it was clear he wanted to. It broke your heart to watch him battle himself and then be furious when he felt like he lost each time. You wished there was more you could do.

You brushed your fingers against his shoulder. It's okay, the gesture told him. His shoulders loosened again. He wasn't aware that he'd bunched them up.

"Let's go inside," you whispered. 

He nodded, and for once, Kaz Brekker did not meet your eyes. He thumped his cane against the creaky floorboards and then strode into the room Amalia was waiting for you in.

You took a deep breath, turned your eyes toward the sky and whatever may be there, and followed Kaz into the adjoining room to receive your tattoo.

[part two (coming soon)]

TAGLIST: @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r

[euphoniumpets]

NO MOURNERS, NO FUNERALS | CHAPTER THREE

Prompt: ''Run, run, that's all we ever do from our past but it will come back haunting us.'' You paused, staring into the brown eyes that you once had fallen in love with. ''Do you think it'll stop before we even die?''

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x heartrender! reader

Tag list: @athenasproverbs @natsgaygf @lyria-skyfall @crystallizedtime @xcharlottemikaelsonx @honeynicoole @motheroffae @queenofshinigamis @outlawqueen17 @wolfleah @natsgaygf @dumb-fawkin-bitch

Warnings: blood and gore, ptsd, trauma flashbacks, violence.

A/N: thank you for reading the series and i'm welcoming the new followers on my account! if you want to get me know better, click navi on my info box :)

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten

Getting the Heartrender was not an easy task. Kaz had to send in Y/N to complete the job, knowing that she would acomplish it. After trying to convince the heartrender, she finally gave in as they walked with the heartrender to the Dressen. ''I really appreciate the new buisness, but you only paid for an hour of my time, and I have to go back to the Orchid,'' You heard her speak.

''The Orchid isn't safe tonight, your life is in danger with this job, make yourself sacre for a few days,'' Kaz told her. ''Mr. Brekker, are you threatening me? Even if I'm nice, my boss will call the standwatch on you,'' She remarked.

''It's not me you're in danger with, it's Pekka Rollins,'' Kaz told her. ''Which is why, your boss is alredy dead,'' You replied with a shrug on your shoulders. ''Who are you lot?'' The man behind the gate asked them.

''We're here to see Dressen,'' Kaz told him as you stayed from behind. ''You're not with Pekka's crew,'' The man said and narrowed his gaze toward Kaz and the group behind him. ''And you're not in Pekka's pocket anymore if you don't owe him,'' Kaz retorted and throws a bag of coins through the gate at the man.

You watched from afar and sees the man caught whatever Kaz had thrown at him. You saw Kaz nodding his head toward you as you gestured to the others to follow after him. ''Did you do what I think you did?'' You asked him.

''I did,'' He responded with a smirk. You shook your head with a smile before you heard the man exclaim from afar. ''Hey, where did you get that coin?'' Jesper asked Kaz.

''Hey! One of these has a hole in it!'' The man from the gate exclaimed. ''Saints,'' Jesper commented as the door opened.

''Get inside, get inside,'' Kaz urged them as the group rushed inside and followed Dressen men inside. ''One look and I can tell, criminals,'' Dressen commented.

''I'm not meeting anyone til midnight,'' He said. ''We heard you needed a heartrender,'' Kaz told him as Dressen stood up. ''Alright, she stays, the rest of you: out,'' He spoke as the heartrender was about to move forward but Kaz stopped her with his cane. ''She stays, and we have an exclusive on this job,'' Kaz replied.

''Mr. Brekker, no buisness man worth his salt hires his first applicant,'' Dressen says and moves to sit on the front of his desk. The man moved his jacket to show the gun, Jesper does the same.

''You wouldn't,''

''Try him,'' You spoke with a smirk. ''No buisness man worth his salt bargains for what he can take,'' Dressen said before he walks towards Kaz. ''I have to get back in an hour,'' The heartrender spoke. ''Alright, come on,'' Dressen spoke as they followed after Dressen.

-

Walking down the stairs and to the basement, you saw a figure with his hands tied up and a bag that covered his face. ''Who's this?'' Kaz asked as Dressen looked at the four of you. ''So, you don't know everything after all, this is Alexei Stepanov,'' He introduced and removed the bag, only to show a scared boy, no older than the lot of them.

''Two weeks ago, young Alexei here crossed the Fold on foot, alone,'' He informed and you widened your eyes, surprised. ''How?'' Inej asked him. ''They're keeping it quiet, but allegedly he was one of the few witnesses too, an event,'' He informed.

''Water,'' Alexei croaked out and you watched Inej step over and poured him a glass of water. ''What glass of event?'' Kaz questioned and you can tell that the poor boy was scared by the heartbeat of his own.

''I know an expedition was swarmed by Volcra, should have been a total loss, but something happened,'' Dressen explained before he continued. ''Some device detonated, obliterated by Volcra, lit up the dark like a forest fire, I know it wasn't a fire or else no one would have survived, this was some invention no one had seen before, he knows, but he doesn't seem to be able to articulate his accounts of events,''

''So,'' Dressen trailed off and reached out his hands to the heartrender. The heartrender looked at Kaz for approval as he nodded. Inej moved back to the group as the heartrender approached Alexei. ''You're safe now,'' She told him with a soft voice and reached her hand to brush her hand against his face.

She moved her hand to run against his palm and calmed his heartbeat. ''Now you can speak and I will just listen,'' She said.

''All right,'' Alexei spoke with a sigh.

''Tell me what happened in the Fold, who saved you?''

''You won't believe me, but, it was a Sun Summoner,'' Inej let out a gasp, looking toward at Kaz and Y/N. They didn't believe it, but if Dressen believed it, you knew that he would hire you to do the job.

''Who was it?'' Dressen asked him and leaned slightly forward. ''If I tell you, you'll set me free?'' He asked and you sighed. Poor soul.

''You have my word, I'll set you free,'' He replied. ''You're in Ketterdam now, Alexei, you can go anywhere in the world from here,'' The heartrender nodded in agreement. ''Just imagine,''

''Her name, is Alina Starkov,'' Alexei revealed. ''Alina Starkov?'' Alexei nodded his head. ''Good boy, show me the manifest,'' Dressen said and looked through a stack of papers.

''Perfect,'' Dressen replied as Alexei looked at him. ''You'll set me free, now?'' He asked. ''Thank you, of course,'' Dressen spoke and then turned around with a gun and shoots Alexei in the head. The Heartrender let out a scream, while you flinched toward the sound of the gunshot that ringed in the air. You watched as he walked over to Alexei's lifeless body to see if he was dead.

''We are now the only people west of the Fold with this information, my ships sails for west Ravka at dawn, if you can prove that you have a way through the Fold and back, I'll put you on that ship with an advance, if you don't, I'm giving this job to Pekka Rollins,''

''Give me a day, I'll have a plan,'' Kaz told him.

''You have until sunrise, then your ship will have sailed, Mr. Brekker, the prize is one million Kruge, now bring me Alina Starkov,''

-

Back at the office, Inej, Y/N, and Kaz was riffling through the pages, trying to find the solution fo crossing the Fold and finding Alina Starkov. ''What was that? Hmm? You want to tell me?'' Inej asked and looked at you and Kaz.

''Be more specific,'' You questioned her. ''It was one thing we had a week to find a way across the Fold, but sunrise? We have to say no,'' Inej spoke.

''No,'' You and Kaz spoke in sync. ''No to the job?'' Inej asked and furrowed her brows. ''No to saying no,'' Kaz remarked.

''We can't go,'' Inej snapped. ''Can't we?'' You asked and stood up straigher. Inej lifted her arm to show the tattoo on her wrist at you. You hated the tattoo because it symbolized that someone owned her, granted, you were the one who owned her and you tried to find a way to release her from the Mengarine. But Tante heleen was a stubborn kind.

''I can't go,'' She spoke in a softer tone. ''You will, we have a plan,'' You responded and looked at Kaz who nodded. ''No, you don't,'' Inej replied as you sighed with frusteration.

''I know by now when you're still figuring things out, you don't know how to pull off this job,'' Inej spoke and looked at Kaz. ''I still have six hours and right now, you aren't helping,'' Kaz sneered and you looked at him with a stern expression.

''Kaz,'' You warned him. ''Maybe you crack away across, but that doesn't solve the problem!'' Inej exclaimed and shoved her tattoo in Kaz's face.

''If I can't crack this, no one's going,''

''If you do?''

''Then maybe you stay here,'' Kaz snapped and you looked at him with a disapproval expression while Inej looked at him with a hurt expression. You sighed. ''Maybe I won't be back here when you get back,'' Inej replied in a low voice, but you and Kaz still heard her.

''Inej,'' You spoke before she runs off into the rain, leaving no sound in her wake. ''Inej!'' Kaz tried to stop her and drops his head as he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes with frusteration.

You sighed and walked towards him. Kaz turned around and you could see the guilt in his eyes. ''I am a idiot,'' He spoke and you smiled softly before lifting his chin up with your finger. He looked into your eyes.

''Yes, but a pretty one,'' You remarked with a grin and smiled at you. ''I'll talk to her, she will listen to me,'' You replied with a soft voice. ''I doubt that she's going to listen to you,'' Kaz responded, making you roll your eyes at him.

''You always underestimate her, and I still don't know why, I see the potentional in her,'' You spoke. ''I know,'' You watched him sigh.

''Give her a chance, you know I didn't bought her without a reason,'' You replied. Kaz knew that you didn't bought her without a reason, from the moment you met Inej at the Mengarine, you always had a soft spot for the Suli girl, thus a beautiful friendship had forged that was pratically family. You were never the keen of having friends, since you lived in Ketterday, people was hard to trust knowing that they would betray you or sooner.

-

please comment what you think of this chapter! reblogging always helps.

[moonshine999]

The Crows as Taylor Swift albums (pt.1)

because why would we have a sane method of characterisation

Kaz Brekker : Midnights 

♟️”And I wake up with your memory over me // That’s a real fucking legacy to leave” - Maroon 

♟️”Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism // Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time) // I wake up screaming from dreaming // One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving and life will lose all its meaning” - Anti-hero 

♟️”And the touch of a hand lit the fuse  // Of a chain reaction of countermoves // To assess the equation of you // Checkmate, I couldn’t lose” - Mastermind

♟️”Do you wish you could still touch…her? // It’s just a question” - Question…? 

♟️”Uh oh, I’m falling in love // Oh no, I’m falling in love again // Oh, I falling in love” - Labyrinth 

♟️”Spider-boy, king of thieves // Weave your little webs of opacity// My pennies made your crown” - Karma 

♟️”Passing by unbeknownst to me // Life is emotionally abusive// And time can’t stop me quite like you did” - Snow on the Beach 

♟️”All that bloodshed, crimson clover // uh-uh, sweet dream was over // my hand was the one you reached for // All throughout the Great War // Always remember// Uh-uh tears on the letter // I vowed not to cry anymore // if we survived the Great War” - The Great War

♟️”I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone // You said I have to trust more freely // But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire” - The Great War

♟️”Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness // ‘Cause it’s all over now, all out to sea” - Bigger than the whole sky

♟️”If I was some paint, did it splatter // On a promising grown man? // And if I was a child, did it matter // If you got to wash your hands?”- Would’ve could’ve should’ve

♟️”And now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons” - Would’ve could’ve should’ve

♟️”Dear reader // Burn all the files, desert all your past lives // And I’d you don’t recognise yourself // That means you did it right “ - Dear Reader

♟️”Dear reader // The greatest of luxuries is your secrets // Dear reader // When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss” - Dear Reader

Inej Ghafa : Speak Now

🪷”Left yourself in your warpath // Lost your balance on a tightrope // Lost your mind tryin' to get it back” - Innocent  

🪷”Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been // you’re still an innocent” - Innocent

🪷”My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea // You touch me once and it's really something “- Sparks Fly 

🪷”Maybe this is wishful thinkin' // Probably mindless dreamin'” - Back To December 

🪷”Miscommunications lead to fall out // So many things that I wish you knew // So many walls up I can't break through” - The Story Of Us

🪷”The battle's in your hands now // But I would lay my armor down // If you'd say you'd rather love than fight “- The Story of Us 

🪷”But I never thought I'd live to see it break // It's getting dark and it's all too quiet // And I can't trust anything now” - Haunted 

🪷”but Sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know” - Better Than Revenge 

🪷”The playful conversation starts // Counter all your quick remarks // Like passing notes in secrecy” - Enchanted 

🪷“same old tired, lonely place // walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy // vanished when I saw your face // All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you” - Enchanted

🪷”The crowds in stands went wild // We were the kings and the queens// And they read off our names” - Long Live 

🪷”And the cynics were outraged // Screaming, "This is absurd" // ‘Cause for a moment // a band of thieves In ripped up jeans got to rule the world” - Long Live 

🪷”Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?” - Dear John 

🪷”Well maybe it’s me // And my blind optimism to blame // Or maybe it’s you and your sick need // to give love and then take it away” - Dear John

🪷”Memorise what it sounded like when your dad gets home // Remember the footsteps // Remember the words said // And all of your little brother’s favourite songs” - Never Grow Up

(Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan are already posted)

[thecrxwclub]

assigning taylor swift songs to grishaverse characters + ships because i don’t want to do my actual work!! this is about to be long as hell!!

notes: i feel like some of these will be unpopular opinions but here we are + there are two instances where ppl have the same song (long story short and you’re on your own kid) but i just think it applies to both characters really well. and idk why basically all the crows are from midnights, it’s just a soc album i guess.

ALINA STARKOV

– long story short : evermore

"Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things. Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing…and I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole. Long story short, it was a bad time. Pushed from the precipice, climbed right back up the cliff. Long story short, I survived. Now I’m all about you, I’m all about you. Long story short, it was a bad time. Long story short, I survived.”

MAL ORETSEV

– this is me trying : folklore

“They told me all of my cages were mental. So I got wasted like all my potential. And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I have a lot of regrets about that…I just wanted you to know that this is me trying. At least I’m trying.”

NIKOLAI LANTSOV

– Mastermind : Midnights

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid. So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since. To make them love me and make it seem effortless. This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess. And I swear I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian ‘cause I care.”

ZOYA NAZYALENSKY

– You’re On Your Own Kid : Midnights

“You’re on your own, kid. You always have been. From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes, I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this. I hosted parties and starved my body. Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss. The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say. I looked around in a blood-soaked gown, and I saw something they can’t take away.”

KAZ BREKKER

– Dear Reader : Midnights

"Dear Reader, if it feels like a trap you’re already in one. Dear Reader, get out your map. Pick somewhere and just run. Dear Reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives. And if you don’t recognize yourself that means you did it right. Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart…Dear Reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets. Dear Reader, when you aim at the devil make sure you don’t miss.”

INEJ GHAFA

– Karma : Midnights

“Karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god, karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma’s a relaxing thought, aren’t you envious that for you it’s not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat, purring in my lap ‘cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that.”

NINA ZENIK

– Bejeweled : Midnights

“Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky…And you can try to change my mind. But you might have to wait in line. What’s a girl gonna do? A diamond’s gotta shine. Best believe I’m still bejeweled. When I walk in a room, I can still make the whole place shimmer…Diamonds in my eyes. I polish up real, I polish up real nice.”

JESPER FAHEY

– Anti-Hero : Midnights

"I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser. Midnights become my afternoons. When my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room…It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”

WYLAN VAN ECK

– You’re On Your Own Kid : Midnights

“Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned. Everything you lose is a step you take. So make the friendship bracelets, take a moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid. You’re on your own, kid. Yeah, you can face this. You’re on your own kid, you always have been.”

MATTHIAS HELVAR

– ivy : evermore

"How’s one to know? I’d live and die for moments that we stole. On begged and borrowed time…oh, goddamn. My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand taking mine, but it’s been promised to another. Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland. My house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

GENYA SAFIN

– Clean : 1989

“Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm. Rain came pouring down. When I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe. And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean.”

DAVID KOSTYK

– Sweet Nothing : Midnights

"On the way home I wrote a poem. You say ‘what a mind’, this happens all the time. ‘Cause they said the end is coming. Everyone’s up to something. I find myself running home to your sweet nothings. Outside, they’re push and shoving. You’re in the kitchen humming. All that you ever wanted from me was nothing.”

THE DARKLING

I Did Something Bad : Reputation

"They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one. They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons. They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one. So light me, go ahead and light me up. They say I did something bad. Then why’s it feel so good? They say I did something bad. But why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could. It just felt so good.”

TOLYA YUL-BATAAR

– epiphany : folklore

"Keep your helmet, keep your life, son. Just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle…With you I serve. With you, I fall down. Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out. Only 20 minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany. Just one single glimpse of relief, to make some sense of what you’ve seen.”

TAMAR KIR-BATAAR

– Only the Young : Featured in “Miss Americana”

“They aren’t gonna help us, too busy helping themselves. They aren’t gonna change this, we gotta do it ourselves. They think that it’s over, but it’s just begun. Only one thing can save us…Don’t say you’re too tired to fight, it’s just a matter of time. Up there’s the finish line. Only the young can run.”

HANNE BRUM

– long story short : evermore

“Fatefully, I tried to pick my battles ‘til the battle picked me. Misery. Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep. And you passed right by, I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides. The knife cuts both ways. If the shoe fits, walk in it ‘til your high heels break.”

–––––––––––––––––––––

KANEJ

– Renegade : How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last?

“Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these? And let all your damage damage me? And carry your baggage up my street and make me your future history? It’s time, you’ve come a long way. Open the blinds, let me see your face. You wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody. Is it insensitive for me to say ‘get your shit together so I can love you’?"

HELNIK

– Long Live : Speak Now

“Long, long live the walls we crashed through. All the kingdom lights shine, just for me and you. I was screaming, long live all the magic we made, and being on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid. Singing long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you. And long, long live that look on your face. And bring on all the pretenders. One day, we will be remembered.”

WESPER

– Paper Rings : Lover

“Kiss me once ‘cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright. Three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life. I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings. Darling, you’re the one I want, and I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this.”

ZOYALAI

– The Great War : Midnights

"And we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover. The worst was over. My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War. Always remember we’re burned for better, I vowed I would always be yours. ‘Cause we survived the Great War.”

MALINA

– invisible string : folklore

“Time, curious time. Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs. Were there clues I didn’t see? And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

DARKLINA

– Dear John : Speak Now

“You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry. Never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes ‘cause you burned them out. But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don’t look now.”

DANYA

— Last Kiss : Speak Now

“But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss. I never thought we’d have a last kiss. Never imagined we’d end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.”

TAMADIA

— Lover : Lover

“My heart’s been borrowed, and yours has been blue. All’s well that ends well to end up with you…Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever? And I, take me out, and take me home. You’re my, my, my, my lover.”

HANNINA

— Daylight : Lover

“I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye. I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you. And I don’t want to think of anything else now that I thought of you. I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, but now I see daylight. I only see daylight.”

[fandomscompilation]

The story of two broken souls (Kaz Brekkerx Reader) Part 11

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: eventual Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: main storyline of the show, threats, mentions of murder, death, mentions of being branded, blood,

A/N: Hi everyone! Welcome to eleventh part of this series! Thank you soooo much for the love you showed this fic and I hope you'll stay with us for the rest of the journey. And trust me the road is long ahead of us. Now, enjoy and let me know your thoughts. Remember requests are open!

Taglist: @d34drapunzel @coldheartedmar @igakc

Even if I didn't want to be seen with the Crows, Kaz somehow managed to make me come to meet Dreesen. We got the Heartrender walking with us and I noticed Kaz glance her way. She was walking next to me, although I didn't know why she felt safer that way.

"I really appreciate new business, but you've only paid for an hour of my time, and I have to be back at the Orchid." She said trying to keep up with Kaz. Her awful dress didn't help with that.

"The Orchid isn't safe tonight. Your life is in danger with this job." He threw over his shoulder and all of us knew he didn't really care for her. But what people won't do to make others believe them. "Make yourself scarce for a few days afterwards."

"Mr. Brekker, are you threatening me? Really?" She huffed annoyed which made me roll my eyes. "Even if I'm nice, my boss will call the stadwatch on you."

"It's not me you're in danger with. It's Pekka Rollins." He finally turned facing the now shocked Grisha.

"My boss would call the stadwatch on him as well." She tried to keep her cool which made me step around her and head for the gate.

"Which is why your boss is already dead." He said with an evident smirk in his tone. Kaz came up beside me making the security look our way.

"Who are you lot?" The man asked with an accent making me squint my eyes in order to see through the darkness.

"We're here to see Dreesen." He said walking closer to the gate.

"You're not with Pekka's crew." The man said walking up as well.

"And you're not in Pekka's pocket anymore if you don't own him." Brekker said making me throw the bag of coins to the man. He let us in without much questions and I patted his arm walking by.

Jesper sped up and walked side by side with Kaz, while I let Inej and the Heartrender walk in front of me. Somehow I learned to walk at the end to make sure non of them were hit. The man shouted something about a hole on the coins making us hurry inside the building.

I didn't pay much attention to the interior, but I counted the men walking around. They had guns and few additional knives. It would be hard to get out of here without some tricks.

"One look and I can tell. Criminals." Dreesen said pointing his finger at us. "I'm not meeting anyone 'til midnight."

"We heard you need a Heartrender." Kaz said making the woman wave at the merchant. I lightly poked her side to make her keep quiet.

"Alright." He stood up smiling quickly. "She stays, the rest of you, out." The woman started to walk ahead but Kaz stopped her with his cane. I could see her slightly gulp in fear.

"She stays. And we have an exclusive on this job." Brekker said getting straight to business. I looked around meeting Inej's gaze for a moment. She was counting the escape routes as well.

"Mr. Brekker." The Heartrender stepped back to be by my side again. "No businessman worth his salt hires his first applicant."

"No. No, I understand. Of course, I will have to report you to the guild for kidnapping and harboring a prisoner without chain of title." I bit back my smirk. For such a young age he sure knew how to get under people's skin. Dreesen's men showed their guns and Jesper did the same thing.

"You wouldn't." Dreesen tried to call Kaz's bluff.

"No businessman worth his salt bargains for what he can take." Kaz all but spat out. There was a moment of silence when Dreesen stood only inches from Kaz. I noticed the Heartrender raise her hand.

"I have to be back in an hour." I followed Inej's gaze to her wrist were the brand was placed.

"Alright, come on." The merchant said stepping around us. With a smirk Kaz followed and we went after him.

He walked us to a wine cellar with a man tied down to a chair. I eyed him carefully noticing his awful state.

"Who's this?" Kaz asked making the merchant look to his prisoner.

"So you don't know everything after all." The man said happily. "This is Alexei Stepanov." He took of the bag and we all saw the bloodied face. "Two weeks ago, young Alexei here crossed through the Fold on foot. Alone."

"He should be dead." I said not believing the merchant. He walked to the alcohol he had close by.

"How?" Inej asked looking at Dreesen.

"They're keeping it quiet, but allegedly he was one of a few witnesses to an event." He said pouring himself water while Alexei looked around confused. He asked for water and Inej was quick to give him some.

"What kind of event?" Kaz asked watching the two in front of us.

"I know an expedition was swarmed by volcra. Should've been a total loss, but something happened." He said making me tense up. "I found her..". "Some device detonated. Obliterated the volcra, lit up the dark like a forest fire. I know it wasn't fire or else no one would have survived. This was some invention no one had seen before. He knows." Dreesen pointed at Alexei and put his glass down. "But he doesn't seem to be able to articulate his account of events. Some form of traumatic lapse." He said standing next to Kaz. Dreesen walked to stop by me close to the Heartrender. "So..." She walked up to the young man and I straightened up.

She whispered few sweet words before I could feel her science buzz around the room.

"Now you can just speak and I will just listen." She said softly making all of us concentrate.

"All right." He finally spoke up.

"Tell me what happened in the Fold. What saved you?" Her voice was kept light and soft with a sense of comfort to it.

"You won't believe me, but it was a Sun Summoner." He said almost in a daze like way. I noticed Inej pray silently, while we all stayed on alert. A Sun Summoner. He found her. He has her.

"Who was it?" Dreesen asked kneeling in front of Alexei.

"If I tell you, you'll set me free?" The prisoner asked making me look away.

"You have my word. I'll set you free." The merchant smiled lightly and Kaz took a deep breath in. "You're in Ketterdam now, Alexei. You can go anywhere in the world from here. Just imagine. Come on." He hesitated for a minute. Probably trying to imagine himself running far away from here.

"Her name is Alina Starkov." He said making me frown lightly. I never heard of a Grisha with that name and a child would never be able to protect a whole skiff from volcra.

"Alina Starkov. Good boy." Dreesen stood up and went to one of his men. "Show me the manifest."

"You'll set me free now?" Alexei asked tiredly and I knew he was close to collapsing even with the Heartrender's help.

"Thank you. Of course." Dreesen turned shooting Alexei straight in the forehead. The girl jumped back with blood splattered on her. I sighted walking up to her and slowly helping her stand up. I rubbed her back softly while she breathed heavily from the shock. "We are now the only people west of the Fold with this information. My ship sails for West Ravka at dawn. If you can prove that you have a way through the Fold and back, I'll put you on that ship with an advance. If you don't, I'm giving this job to Pekka Rollins." Dreesen said walking to the exit.

"Give me a day. I'll have a plan." Kaz spoke up turning to face the merchant. He stopped turning around.

"You have until sunrise, then your ship will have sailed, Mr. Brekker. The prize is one million kruge. Now bring me Alina Starkov." He said before walking out with his man following.