#might be me self-projecting but yolo

[springypaws]

Tfw you’re sitting on a wall and being all cool while you wait for the inevitable horrors to befall you

Ngl I think I wanted to do more with this but I had no idea what to add that I would like the look of so this’ll have to do 💕

ID in ALT!!

[goldfades]

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓 (𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓) 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 "𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄" ─ LH⁴³

౨ৎ ─ summary | requested ! -> i kind of have a specific request 🫣 im an ohio state fan so it also kinda pains me that i love luke hughes since i hate umich 😭 my request is reader being an osu student and long term devils fan, so when she goes to a devils game in columbus her friends dare her to make a sign for luke during warm ups that says something along the lines of “can i trade you a hat for a puck?” so when luke gives her a puck, she throws him an ohio state hat w her phone number on it. and he finds it really funny and actually ends up messaging her (and then you can end it how you want. fluff, smut, wtv) thank you <33

─ word count | 2.8k

─ warnings | so so so fluffy it might kill you, luke being a cutie pie, meet-cute situation, ohio state (bleh), slight angst, luke being self-conscious and overly self-critical, hurt to comfort, the devils vs rangers game (😭😭😭), nothin' else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey @maryleclerc @valluvsu @bowen-power @bunting58 @daisysnhl @daisysthings @hearts-4-luke @iminlovewithtz11 @jackhughesily @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvelyzoe @ru-kru

─ ev's notes | luke hughes fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guess who's outta their writing slump??? this guyyyyy!!!! so yeah, here is a cute little sweet luke fic because my best friend has been into him and this request has been sitting in my inbox, so!! yeah, enjoy, i love you guys mwah mwah mwah

"HE'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN GONNA SEE THE SIGN," you laughed as your best friend took in the sign you'd made. She nodded in a approval, a knowing smirk on her lips.

"Who cares? It's just for fun. You know, YOLO," she replied, giving you a playful nudge. "Plus, imagine the look on his face if he does see it."

You couldn't help but chuckle nervously, adjusting the sign in your hands. It read, "Can I trade you a hat for a puck, #43?" in bold, black letters against a vibrant red background. You were loved DIY projects so this was just as fun for you as it was for your friends.

"Maybe he'll finally follow you back on Instagram," your best friend added with an amused tone as you rolled your eyes, feeling your cheeks get red. She'd known of your long time crush on the youngest Hughes brother, and she was having the time of her life teasing you about it. "Who knows, maybe it'll be a start of a love story."

You laughed nervously at your friend's teasing, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your cheeks. "Oh please, it's just a bit of fun," you replied, trying to play off your crush on Luke as nothing more than innocent admiration.

But deep down, the idea of catching Luke's attention in any way made your heart flutter.

Entering the Nationwide Arena, the energy of the crowd enveloped you, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of adrenaline. As the players hit the ice for warm-ups, you scanned the rink eagerly, trying to catch a glimpse of Luke. With your homemade sign clutched tightly in your hand, you made your way to the glass, positioning yourself so that Luke could see you.

Then, there he was, Luke Hughes, effortlessly weaving between his teammates with grace. You couldn't tear your eyes away as he neared your section of the glass, your breath catching in your throat. You'd only seen him one other time and that was at a Michigan game - however, because it didn't end very well, you decided it was best not to go get a picture with him.

He looked more put together this time, his curls pouring out of his helmet in a way that made your heart jump. You could feel your best friend's amused gaze on the side of your face, you rolled your eyes as she let out a teasing laugh.

"Oh, shut up."

"Hold up your sign higher, Y/N." She urged, nudging you playfully. You did as she said, holding the sign as high as you could.

To your surprise, Luke's gaze flickered towards you, a smirk playing on his lips as he skated closer. He pointed at your sign, giving you a nod of approval before flipping a puck over the glass in your direction.

"Oh my fucking god," your friend mumbled as she caught the puck. You couldn't believe it. Your heart was pounding with excitement as your friend caught the puck that Luke had sent flying your way.

With trembling hands, you fumbled in your bag for the Ohio State hat you had brought along, your heart pounding in your chest.

"You're actually gonna give him the hat?" Your friend laughed as she glanced back at Luke, an amused expression on his face as he waited for you to throw him the hat.

As you lifted up the hat from your bag, Luke let out an amused chuckle as he caught sight of it, his eyes widening with surprise. With a nervous laugh, you nodded, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks.

"Yeah, why not?" you replied, trying to sound casual despite the flutter of butterflies in your stomach. You glanced in between Luke and your friend, feeling a surge of confidence as you smiled.

Quickly scribbling your phone number on a scrap of paper, you tucked it inside the hat before tossing it over the glass towards Luke. Gripping on the red hat, you tossed it over the glass towards him. He caught it with ease, giving you an impressed smirk.

You mimicked holding a phone to your ear, gesturing towards Luke with a playful smile before mouthing the words 'call me' as your best friend erupted in laughter, her face turning red. Luke couldn't help but join in on the laughter as he shook his head, skating off with the hat in his hands.

──

"I still can't believe you did that," your best friend giggled as she drove home. To no one surprise, the devils had won and you were over the moon.

You couldn't help but giggle along with her, the adrenaline from the encounter still coursing through your veins. "I can't believe it either," you admitted, your smile widening as you replayed the moment in your mind.

As you finally arrived back at your dorm, you couldn't wipe the grin from your face, the memory of Luke's amused reaction playing on a loop in your mind. You got ready for bed and snuggled into the bed but no matter how hard you tried to sleep, you just couldn't.

So, you pulled out your phone and went on TikTok, scrolling endlessly. You knew you'd regret it in the morning but sleeping didn't seem too appealing, especially after the night you'd had.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed and you glanced up to read the message. Your heart skipped a beat once you'd glanced at it. It was an unknown number, with an unfamiliar area code.

You clicked on the number and searched the area code and it was Michigan. You didn't know anyone from Michigan, so who the hell could it─

Oh.

It suddenly clicked, your eyes widening in disbelief. As you stared at the screen, a rush of excitement flooded through you. Could it be? Your mind raced with possibilities as you hesitated for a moment before tapping on the message.

unknown so you're still an ohio fan after we beat ur ass ?

you who's this?

unknown how many hats did you give away tonight? 🥲

you luke???? hughes????

unknown good so im the only one, i hope 🥰

You let out scoff, in utter disbelief. Before responding furthur, you screenshotted the conversation and sent it to your best friend. There was no fucking way that Luke Hughes had messaged you.

──

A few weeks passed and you'd been talking to Luke almost everyday. And that wasn't an exaggeration, after every conversation that died, Luke began another one. You'd even gone as far as FaceTiming him, it seemed surreal for the first couple weeks but it had since become normal.

"How was your test?" Luke spoke, his voice muffled as he chewed on his protein bar. You put your phone down on the desk as you shrugged, sighing. "Wow, that bad?"

You chuckled softly, the sound carrying through the phone as you leaned back in your chair. "Yeah, pretty much," you admitted, running a hand through your hair. "But hey, at least it's over now. I can finally breathe a sigh of relief."

Luke's laughter echoed through the speaker, and you couldn't help but smile at the sound. Despite the miles between you, his presence felt comforting and familiar, a constant in your otherwise chaotic life.

"Who needs Calc? I mean, it's useless." Luke added as he took another bite of his protein bar. Before you could respond, someone in Luke's background began talking. "Yeah, yeah. I'll clean it after I get off the phone."

Your lips curved into an amused smile as you heard the voice retort, watching Luke's expression became annoyed. "I'm on the phone, Jack. Give me two seconds-"

The next thing you see is Luke's screen being shaking and a few voices arguing before Jack took his phone, coming on to the screen."Y/N, tell Luke to wash his dirty ass dishes."

"Luke, listen to your big brother." You respond teasingly, causing Jack to smirk at his younger brother.

Luke rolled his eyes but you could see a hint of amusement dancing in them. "Come on, Y/N, you're supposed to be on my side," he joked, though there was a playful glint in his eyes.

You chuckled at the playful banter between the brothers, feeling a sense of amusement. "Sorry, Luke, but I have to agree with Jack on this one. Clean those dishes, it's disgusting."

Jack grinned, giving you a thumbs-up before disappearing off-screen. Luke let out an exaggerated sigh, but you could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Fine, fine," he relented, rolling his eyes theatrically. "But only because you said so, Y/N."

"Good."

"See! You only listen to Y/N!" Jack shouted as Luke's face flushed, glaring at his brother off-screen before he disappeared into the home.

"Looks like I have some influence around here," you teased, flashing Luke a playful grin.

Luke shook his head, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. "I swear, he's impossible sometimes," he muttered, though there was a fondness in his voice that betrayed his annoyance.

"It's okay. That's just how all siblings are," you cleaned on to the desk as you watched Luke through the screen.

There was a short silence as Luke gazed back at you through the screen, his lips curving into a smile. "Hey, so uh... we have a game later this week."

"Yeah, I know. Against the Rangers."

Luke ran his hands through his curls, his expression a little anxious before he continued. "And don't you have spring break?"

You put two and two together, a small smile playing on your lips as you nodded.

"Well, uh... I was thinking, maybe you could come to the game?" Luke's words came out in a rush, his cheeks flushing slightly as he awaited your response. "So we can finally hang out in person."

Your heart skipped a beat at his invitation, the idea of finally hanging out with Luke in person sending a thrill through you. "I'd love to," you replied eagerly, unable to hide the excitement in your voice.

Luke's smile widened at your enthusiastic response, relief evident in his eyes. "Great! I'll make sure you have the best seats in the house."

"Good, I wanna be watching when you beat the Ranger's asses." You joked as he smiled.

"Oh and, you have one of my jerseys. Right?"

You let out a laugh as you rolled your eyes. "Yeah, of course I do,"

Luke chuckled, a hint of pride evident in his expression. "Good, because I was thinking you could wear it to the game. Show some support for your favorite player," he teased.

"Who said you were my favorite player-"

"Hey, I was the one you gave your number to." Luke teased as you rolled your eyes.

"Okay fine," you admitted with a smirk.

Luke flashed you a satisfied smile, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "So, you'll wear the jersey then?"

You nodded, unable to resist his infectious enthusiasm. "Yeah, I'll wear it. But only because you asked so nicely."

Luke's grin widened, a sense of satisfaction evident in his gaze. "Okay, great. Maybe I'll even sign it for you?"

"Oh, shut up." You rolled your eyes as Luke let out a very amused laugh. "Show-off."

──

Luke didn't have a lot of time before the game so he only waved at you during warmups, but you weren't mad about it. With a smile on your face, you waved back at Luke, sending him a silent message of support and encouragement.

You understood the importance of the game and knew that Luke needed to be on his A-game tonight. However, Luke did keep his promise of giving you the best seats in the house ─ you felt as though you were really on the ice, with the players.

You stood in the stands, watching as Luke and the rest of the team warmed up on the ice. As the puck dropped and the game began, you cheered loudly, your heart filled with pride for your favorite player.

The Rangers came out strong, controlling the puck and applying pressure on the Devils' defense early on. Despite their best efforts, the Devils struggled to gain momentum, facing relentless attacks from their opponents.

In the end, it was a hard-fought battle, but the Rangers had won. You weren't disappointed, no. But you knew how hard everyone could be on Luke, despite him being a rookie. You were a little conflicted, maybe this wasn't the best game you could've came to.

Luke made his way towards the tunnel, his expression disappointed. You knew this one of the biggest games of the season and knowing Luke, he probably thought it was all his fault.

You knew how much he poured into every game, and it pained you to see him shouldering the weight of the loss. Despite your conflicted feelings about the outcome of the game, your support for Luke never wavered.

You made your way out of the arena, waiting outside the player's exit area. You glanced around, scanning the area for any sign of Luke or the rest of the team. As the minutes passed, you shifted from foot to foot, nerves knotting in your stomach as you waited.

Finally, the door to the player's exit swung open, and you held your breath, your heart pounding in your chest. And then, there he was—Luke emerged from the doorway, his expression still clouded with disappointment from the game.

You stepped forward, a sympathetic smile tugging at your lips as you approached him. "Hey, Luke," you called out, your voice soft.

Luke's gaze met yours as he bit the inside of his cheek. "Hey."

You could feel the anxiety radiating off of him and you couldn't help but frown. You looked up at the taller brunette as he sighed.

"I'm sorry that I, uh wasted your time. I should have invited you to a better game." Luke apologized, his voice tinged with self-doubt.

You shook your head, a sympathetic smile touching your lips as you gazed up at him. "Luke, you didn't waste my time," you reassured him, your tone gentle yet firm. "Being here with you, win or lose, means more to me than you'll ever know."

"Yeah but we got our asses handed to us out there. And you had to see that." He shrugged as he sniffled, his gaze averting yours.

You could sense the weight of Luke's disappointment as he spoke, his words heavy with frustration and self-doubt. Gently, you reached out to hold his hand. His touch was tense before he relaxed into your touch.

"Luke, it doesn't matter what the scoreboard says," you said earnestly, your voice soft yet unwavering. "What matters is that you gave it your all out there, and that's something to be proud of."

Luke's eyes stilled, a flicker of vulnerability shining in his expression. "But we lost,"

You squeezed his hand reassuringly, offering him a small, understanding smile. "Win or lose, you're still out there doing what you," you reminded him. "And that's worth more than any score."

He sighed before he finally met your gaze. His expression softened for a moment, as he admired you. He let out a sigh before he pulled you in, embracing you tightly.

You both pulled away, Luke's lips slowly curving into a smile as he gazed at you. He let out a small chuckle before he shook his head. "God, this is depressing. What kind of date is this?"

"A date?" You repeated, chuckling. "Is this your idea of a date?"

Luke's cheeks flushed slightly as he realized what he had said, his embarrassment evident in the way he averted his gaze momentarily. "Uh, I mean..." he stammered, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "I guess I just meant... hanging out with you, you know?"

You couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness, finding his genuine charm endearing. "Well, in that case, it's the best date I've ever been on," you exaggerated with a playful wink.

Luke's smile widened at your response, the warmth in his eyes mirroring the affection you felt for him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you confirmed, reaching out to squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"Shut up. This is probably the worst one," he chuckled as he shook his head. "Watching as your date's ass get beat isn't exactly... the best."

You couldn't help but laugh at Luke's self-deprecating humor, easing the tension of the moment. "No, I've definitely had worse dates."

"How about I make it up to you?" Luke smiled as he pulled you in closer. You felt your face flush as you laughed.

"Are you asking me on a second date, Luke?" You teased, a playful glint in your eyes as you looked up at him.

Luke's smile widened, his expression earnest as he met your gaze. "I guess I am," he replied, his voice soft. "I owe you one, after all."

"Well, in that case, I'll gladly accept," you said with a grin, leaning into his embrace.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[beecreeper]

Yippie new ask list! 13, 21, 26, 30

13.) Does your OC have a rival? How did it start?

Hm. I guess for Briar I would have to say Orin but like. Briar did NOT give Orin the time of day. That rivalry was ENTIRELY all on Orin’s side while Briar ignored Orin completely (which, of course, just infuriated Orin even more).

And I dunno. Neither Molli, Ferox, or Poppy are ambitious enough to have rivals. Molli’s has such nothing self-esteem that her grandest aspiration is “semi-regular tavern performer”, Ferox is like “please i do NOT want attention or praise for anything please but ESPECIALLY not for the things that I am good at (namely reducing people to piles of wet meat). I want to disappear entirely please and thank you”, and Poppy is just chillin’.

I think I might kinda describe Myrala and Nine Fingers as rivals? Kinda? In Myrala’s tav timeline, when she’s living in Baldur’s Gate and trying to do Eilistraee missionary work, Nine Fingers/the Guild keeps popping up in her life and making things difficult by like, recruiting Myrala’s refugees into guild crews or running projection rackets on people that Myrala is trying to help. Nine Fingers also learns that Myrala used to be a very competent thief in her day and keeps trying to recruit her. And Myrala, who is getting REAL disillusioned with failing to substantially help anyone and constantly struggling to make ends meet, is getting REAL close to taking her up on it.

21.)What song best describes their relationship with their enemy?

Answered here!

26.) What flower do you associate your OC with?

Briar:

Ghost pipe! It’s all white because it doesn’t photosynthesize. Instead, it’s a parasite that feeds on fungi!

Molli:

Daisies. Cute and simple and also my personal favorites

Ferox and Myrala:

They both get Forget me nots. Myrala particularly loved any sort of small, weedy common flowers because they were very emblematic to her of the difference between the surface and the underdark and an example of a small, common piece of beauty that you can find literally everywhere as long as your look for it and appreciate it. But forget me nots were her favorite and, accordingly, they were Ferox’s favorite also.

Poppy:

Well duh

30.) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn’t a question. I’m not asking. (How do they respond?)

Okay I know we’ve already established that Briar and Sunflower are somehow inexplicably best friends. Sunflower manages to strike exactly the right balance of being a good influence on Briar without getting on her nerves and (through what I can only imagine as incredibly clutch persuasion rolls) says exactly the right thing to make Briar doubt herself long enough to not kill Isobel, which in turn starts the chain of events leading to “redeemed” Briar. I like how subdued and not obvious their friendship is. Briar is absolutely not acknowledging that they are friends and not acting necessarily acting like it either, but like it or not Sunflower is somehow the closest person in her life. Really extreme black cat / golden retriever energy.

Also obviously Molli and Sunflower would get along really well, jamming as bards together especially and just being chatterboxes.

For Valora I think, out of my OCs, Poppy would get along with her the best. They both got that yolo zest for life, wanderlust, and curiosity. I can imagine Poppy telling stories about all the places she’s traveled and all the people she’s met and Valora just hanging on her every word. Conversely, Poppy would think Valora is just super cool, ESPECIALLY if/when she learns about the whole Bhaalblob thing.

I gotta ruminate more on the all specific dynamics between my ocs and yours but I’m gonna stop here for now lest I keep typing forever.

[almanoelscraft]

Lettering in Clay: Molding Messages That Last

Clay might just be the most patient of all crafting materials. It waits for you to mold, shape, carve, and occasionally smush it beyond recognition. Now, pair that with the expressive beauty of typography, and you’ve got a match that’ll make your inner design nerd swoon.

We're not just talking about putting your name on a pot. We're talking hand-pressed alphabets, quote plaques, custom stamps, fridge magnets, and clay jewelry that spells things out in the coolest way possible.

🧠 Fun Fact of the Day:

The oldest known writing system, cuneiform, was made by pressing wedge-shaped tools into clay tablets over 5,000 years ago. That’s right—your DIY letter tile project is basically art history in action.

🛠️ Tools and Supplies You’ll Need

Air-dry clay or polymer clay

Clay roller or a clean rolling pin

Alphabet stamps or letter cookie cutters

Craft knife or clay sculpting tools

Acrylic paints or paint pens

Gloss or matte sealer (optional)

Sandpaper (for smoothing edges)

Toothpicks, skewers, or old pens (for fine details or poking holes)

Wax paper or silicone mat for working surface

✨ Project 1: Clay Quote Plaque

Make a mini inspirational sign that looks great on desks, shelves, or as a thoughtful handmade gift.

Steps:

Roll out a slab of clay to about 1/4 inch thick.

Cut out a rectangle or shape of your choice.

Use alphabet stamps to impress a word or phrase (like “CREATE”, “BREATHE”, or “NOPE”).

Smooth the edges and add a hole at the top for hanging if desired.

Let it dry, then paint the letters in a contrasting color.

Seal for durability.

Creative spin: Try using a script font for a handwritten look or mixing upper and lower case letters for playful contrast.

🧲 Project 2: DIY Word Magnets

Perfect for leaving sassy notes on the fridge or inspiring mantras near your coffee machine.

Steps:

Roll out your clay and cut small rectangular tiles.

Stamp individual letters onto each tile.

Bake (if using polymer clay) or let air-dry.

Paint or seal if desired.

Attach self-adhesive magnets to the back.

Now go ahead and spell “YOLO” or “FEED ME TACOS” on your fridge like the classy crafter you are.

💍 Project 3: Personalized Name Pendants

Yes, you can wear your craft on your sleeve—literally.

Steps:

Roll a small ball of clay and flatten it into an oval or circular disc.

Use mini stamps or freehand carving to inscribe a name or word.

Add a hole for stringing.

Bake or air-dry, then paint and glaze.

String it onto a chain or cord for instant DIY jewelry magic.

Typography tip: Use monospaced or sans serif fonts for clean lines and legibility.

🖌 Typography Techniques in Clay

Impressed Type: Use stamps or blunt objects (e.g., the edge of a Lego brick!) to press letters into soft clay.

Raised Type: Roll small clay snakes and shape them into letters to stick onto the base surface.

Cut-Out Letters: Roll flat sheets and cut out letters using cookie cutters or by hand with a craft knife.

Handwritten Texture: Etch directly into clay with a skewer or stylus to mimic handwriting.

BONUS: Make Your Own Clay Alphabet Stamp Set

Can’t find the perfect font? DIY it!

Flatten small cubes of clay and carve one letter into each block.

Bake or dry completely.

Use these to stamp your own custom messages anytime.

Now you’re basically a type designer and a sculptor. Michelangelo, eat your heart out.

https://letterhanna.com/lettering-in-clay-molding-messages-that-last/

[mercuryislove]

6 for Anwei, 10 for Yixing, and 30 for Ciaran and Sihla please 😊

once again I feel like I have said a whole lot of words with actually answering any of the questions at hand... please forgive me ._.

6. Do they like being reminded of home?

If by “home” you mean the past or like her childhood home then... only sometimes. Very rarely? It's complicated. Anwei pretends not to be sentimental about what life was like before, but deep down she still longs for that familiarity. She wasn't nearly as close to her mom as Ciaran was (and neither of them were close to their dad because he was um. largely absent), and looking back she still beats herself up about not cherishing the time with her they had. And sometimes in casual conversation, Ciaran will bring things up like “oh, this is just like the time when we were kids when Mom did xyz” or “Mom used to say things like that all the time” or “Mom would have loved this [completely mundane thing lol]” and some part of her gets like... resentful, maybe? She's jealous in a way that he doesn't feel the ache for the old times like he does. She's jealous that he remembers all those little details about their old life, while she only remembers stupid shit written in the margins of her college textbooks or some song on the internet that went viral when she was thirteen or the mnemonic devices she used to learn all the bones and muscles in the human body. She doesn't care about those parts. She wishes she could remember more important things. Like her mom's favorite color or the way their childhood home smelled after a summer vacation or the name of her favorite restaurant down the street. So like. to not answer the question at all, no lol. It mostly just makes her sad to think about home and how she can never go back again :(

--

10. Are they very sentimental, or perhaps just selectively?

Yixing has nothing to be sentimental about in his life. Well, he does have a few things, but he doesn't think so, and all of the things he would get sentimental about are tarnished by the abuse he's suffered at the hands of others. When he hears other people talk about their nostalgic feelings about childhood, he's just like “Hm. Can't relate. In fact, I wish I could erase every memory of my childhood from my brain!” Much like Anwei, he just gets fucking sad about shit instead of ever getting sentimental. Wait, would it be called sentimentality if you're like. mourning for the things in life you never got to have growing up? Like a well-adjusted family and fond memories of your youth? Because if that counts, then he absolutely is sentimental about everything ever. Sometimes he sees fathers with their young sons and sees how much they care for each other and has to like. hold back tears (or go sit on his horse for a minute lol) because that is what his life was supposed to be like. He was supposed to have someone who loved him and taught him right from wrong and protected him from the evils of the world and supported him and nurtured him and showed him how to be a good person, and... well. His father didn't do any of that. If anything he did the exact opposite. And sometimes Yixing gets really bitter about it because he didn't deserve that, and leaving when he did was the best thing he could have done, but still. He likes to imagine what it could have been like.

(Seriously though, the only things he ever truly thinks fondly of when looking back is how on nights when it was cool outside, he would sneak out of the house and go hang out with the horses in the barn and read by candlelight.)

--

30. How do they feel about the passage of time? Do they feel old too soon? Are they content to let days go past without recognition?

I've talked before about how the passage of time makes me personally feel insane and yes I do project all that onto my little fictional gay people because how else am I supposed to cope with the ever shifting sands of time?!

A long time ago, it didn't bother Ciaran. There was a glossy sheen to the realization of “oh fuck I'm going to live forever” and years and eventually decades passed, and it never bothered him to watch the first and second generations of survivors of the actual end of the world grow old in what felt like the blink of an eye to him. He was so distant from people back then anyway. Then the years continued to fly by and immortality had lost its shine, and he had the grim realization that he couldn't keep people at arm's length forever. They needed him and Anwei, whether he liked it or not! So he slooooowly started to warm up to the idea of letting people get close again, and eventually opened himself up to like. loving and caring for people (and letting people love him) in the short time they had to know him. (And as we know, that works out very well for him and everything is hunky-dory for a long time until he starts to care for people a little too much and then he meets a certain someone that really throws a fucking wrench in the works, and everything kind of goes downhill from there lmao) And if you go WAY back to when he like. mortal or whatever, he absolutely led a very yolo kind of life. Like. Oh fuck I will only be young and beautiful and relevant for so long so I might as well fuck up my body while my liver can still handle it!! And god he was insufferable for it. Some of that still comes through but he isn't (usually) as reckless/self-destructive about it.

MEANWHILE Sihla does not even consider time. She used to. She used to be anxious like Ciaran about how she would outlive everyone she ever loved, but then she met Anwei and was like “nevermind lol fuck everyone else I only need her,” which was, well... an interesting outlook on life. And when that ended horribly because [redacted], she got to enjoy the luxury of being trapped alone to die every day for a couple of centuries, and that's when she quit caring about, uh, anything really. (omg she did like spongebob and cleared her mind of everything except fine dining and breathing) Except maybe exacting revenge on the two people that put her there (gee I wonder who that could be). And before this all happened back when she was just a regular person, she was high strung and SCARED of the passage of time. The world as it was before wasn't particularly great, and there were always growing anxieties about the devastating effects of war and climate change and complete apathy from gods who were very real (and who could definitely put a stop to the suffering with the wave of a hand), and she was just an elementary school teacher trying to like. come to terms with the fact that many of her students could hardly afford food and clothing. And she and her wife had their own woes with trying to raise a young child in a world that could barely sustain them. Every day was a fucking struggle but it was also a gift, and she tried her hardest to make the important things count.

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

My 9 to 5 is Cutting Open Old Scars

by TheGirlWithThePuffHat

Guess who’s feeling like writing some miserable Crowley feels? About after “you go too fast for me”? Me. That’s who. This was one hundred percent self indulgent, but I figured I might as well put it up here.

Or:

“The thermos, humming in Crowley’s fingers as though it was alive, became mundane, became irrelevant, became invisible, because—

You. You’re my holy water.

You destroy me.”

Words: 4022, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Scene: Soho 1967 (Good Omens), Post-Scene: Soho 1967 (Good Omens), Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens), Holy Water, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Angsty Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Contemplates Stuff, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Crying Crowley (Good Omens), because let’s be real i can’t write a fic without crowley crying, I'm Sorry, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Is Trying (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens), but in a good way yaknow, because, Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens), that’s not relevant why did i tag that, Finley Cannot Tag, where is my holy trinity of fic tags, AH YES, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together, Oh look, title is a fall out boy lyric, Again, Author Would Like To Confirm Their Obsession With Fall Out Boy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not much plot, mostly crowley being a dramatic poetic shit, Crowley Being Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Author is Asexual, Angst with a Happy Ending, maybe? - Freeform, the happy ending is definitely there but i don’t know if it counts as angst, what did aziraphale mean by “you go too fast for me”, Author Projecting onto Crowley (Good Omens), The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Making Out in the Bentley (Good Omens), I Wrote This While Listening To Fall Out Boy, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, i wrote this as a form of procrastination, no beta we saunter vaguely downwards like Crowley, poetic crowley, POV Crowley (Good Omens), what the FUCK it’s like theres more tags than fic, oh well, YOLO, Internal Monologue, lots of crowley thoughts, Abuse of italics, Italics, Touch-Starved Crowley (Good Omens)

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/25710763

[ariaste]

I'm going to reframe this with a different example in case it helps anyone who is still struggling with the above conversation and feeling frustrated, since "being an abuser" is quite a scary thing to think about for yourself and that might be getting in the way a bit.

Hello, I have ADHD. It gets worse in the winter, because then it's compounded with seasonal depression. Even with medication, there are days and weeks where I am so paralyzed by executive dysfunction that I struggle with doing basic self-maintenance tasks like feeding myself or showering. I will lie there in bed, feeling very hungry and wanting to eat, but the thought of having to cook is so exhausting and "complicated" that it sometimes brings me to the point of tears.

In this state of being incredbily hangry (never a helpful baseline to start from), it is very easy to condemn myself: "You're so lazy. Ugh. Why can't you just DO IT? What would people say if they could see how lazy and disgusting you are? Just go cook something! You bought the groceries! Those are going to go bad if you don't cook them and eat them, and then you'll have wasted money too! Get up!" Turns out that is not a great way of getting myself to change my behavior. I will feel worse and more guilty, and my way of dealing with that is [checks notes] Avoidance. Thinking of anything else. And then I'm stuck in bed and i'm still hangry and now my blood sugar is crashing and oh noooooo All Is Lost, Catastrophe, The End is Nigh, Ragnarok Is Coming.

What IS more effective is to practice self-forgiveness: "[gently, warmly] Hey there, buddy. Y'know, you do need to eat, and being hungry won't help you feel less cranky. Listen, it's okay if you're having a hard time today. But guess what? Remember you got those frozen meals as emergency rations exactly for days like this? That'll just take a minute or two to toss in the microwave! AND you can wear your cozy slippers as a treat when you go down to the kitchen." And suddenly I am sitting up and rolling out of bed. (And forgetting my slippers on the way to the kitchen, bc ADHD, but y'know what? That's okay too.)

Forgiving yourself for being an abuser, as the above discussion describes, does NOT mean saying to yourself, "Haha, it's no big deal that I hurt people! It's water under the bridge, whatevs. #yolo Also??? I'm great, actually. I am innocent of any wrongdoing, ever. Pat myself on the back."

It COULD mean saying something more like, "[gently, warmly] Hey there, buddy. Yeah, you did a bad thing and you hurt people. But we still gotta be here on this planet and interact with other human beings, right? We gotta continue to wake up and go to work and put one foot in front of the other and have relationships with people, which is already hard even without all that guilt and self-condemnation you've been carrying around. But y'know what? You've learned a lot about yourself and a lot about what not to do, and you'll be able to catch yourself if you notice a bad habit coming back, so now you can do better next time, right? Right! Being a good person is hard work, but everything that's worth doing is pretty hard, I think. And besides, you're stubborn as hell, so you've already got the most important tool for that project. Great start! What's the next step?"

Forgiveness isn't about forgetting the past (that's why the phrase is "forgive and forget" -- they are two separate, unrelated actions). Forgiveness is just setting down the huge heavy burden of guilt so that you've got two hands with which to carry a roadmap of the past that can help guide you toward a better future.

the thing is, if your younger self was a bigot or an abuser, u can't make people forgive you. but you still gotta forgive yourself, like that's non-negotiable, dude. that happens before u can even ask the question of earning forgiveness from anyone lese

[fangsmyth]

100 character development questions || no longer accepting

to save time and space imma be real and just... shove these all in one post under a read more because i got a LOT of these ( tysm!! i love talking about this piece of shit literally ask me anything any time any day of the week i’d be happy to answer )

sooo here we go!

nsfw and unsanitary mentions under the cut

@haemoneiron sent:

002. Do they do anything to celebrate their birthday?

ehhh he’ll call it a celebration, but lanque really doesn’t do much of anything different from what he normally does. he probably won’t even vocalize the fact that it’s his wriggling day, just look around to see if anyone’s already throwing a party that he can crash. if not, on alternia he probably just drank heavily in his room and played edm way too loudly.

here, he’ll probably just go to some bar and fuck somebody. so... what he does pretty much every day

016. What is their choice of weapon?

teeth! teeth! teeth! teeth! teeth! no fr if he had to pick an actual physical weapon it’d probably be a knife or a dagger, definitely something sharp and intimate...... like teeth. i say a lot that lanque isn’t a fighter but he can and will kill if he needs to

044. What disgusts them?

mainly just bad kinks! bad kinks being scat, vomit, piss, and inc*st/p*dophilia i know that’s everyone but what he considers genuinely revolting is just that specific. also people that don’t really bathe/clean themselves

---

@anglerfishnabe sent:

031. Are they superstitious about anything?

ehhh, nah i feel like lanque will see a string of bad luck as a sign that he should just go home for the rest of the day, but i don’t think it would reach much further than that. he’s definitely into people that are superstitious, and taking advantage of ‘signs from the universe’ and shlocky stuff like that, but i don’t think he really personally believes in all of that stuff. lanque is a lot of things, but spiritual is not one of them

034. What’s their view of lying?

he doesn’t see the problem in little white lies that won’t hurt anyone, especially if it gets him what he wants. ( see him HONESTLY trying to tell mspa reader he’s a virgin )

but if people lie about things that will have reaching consequences that will hurt other people, that’s just... really shitty. he does this very rarely if he’s especially desperate to get some sort of reaction out of someone, but generally speaking when he wants to hurt people and make them feel bad about themselves he points out truths based on what he gauges from observation.

---

@feraldeus sent:

013. Have they ever been bullied or teased?

yes! very much so! a lot! to the bitter end, actually! his entire cloister does have valid complaints like how he probably comes back drunk a lot of the time and has a tendency to stir the pot just to see what happens, but lynera honest to god just... hates him so much because of all the attention he garners from bronya she tended to shit talk him behind his back.

i’d imagine part of his reason behind finding it so important to be honest with how he tears someone in half is because of how much it secretly hurt him that lynera spread the occasional lie attempting to leave bronya thinking he’s beyond saving.

not only that, but i’d imagine when he was younger he probably got picked on a lot for crying and being so emotionally vulnerable and open which is why he’s so guarded now!

---

@haruakifusaishi sent:

012. What makes your character embarrassed?

openly and honestly expressing his feelings as shown in the above. generally any positive, warm feelings towards anyone are humiliating as all hell and not in the kinky way. he hates being caught being sappy or expressing romance in the sweet way he does behind closed doors.

with that, honestly if anyone that knows him for his sex drive and general hedonistic tendencies found out about his poetry readings or pretty much any of his written poetry he’d just die! that’d be the end for him!

068. How strong is your character’s sense of responsibility? What kinds of things trigger it?

lanque never feels responsibility for himself or the need to own up to his own actions at all, honestly. his entire kink is being sexy and irresponsible. he primarily feels a sense of responsibility for others’ actions significantly more than his own.

like if he witnesses someone being dishonest or just doing something generally shitty, he feels like it’s his responsibility to call them out since no one else has the balls to do it. if it looks like someone’s going to put themselves in danger, he’ll warn them. if he cares enough about them, he might go out of his way to physically drag them out of it.

it’s all in the moment things, his responsibility is never thought about or premeditated in any way!

073. In a novel, what plot role would your character fill? (hero, anti-hero, sidekick, villain, etc.)

ehhhh i wanna say anti-hero, but at the same time that could be me being inherently biased. i feel like it’d be significantly more interesting if he were a foil for any protagonist, i just seriously doubt he’d ever be the main character in anything as much as he would have the bravado of someone that wants to be?

---

@enradiant sent:

026. What do they consider ugly in others personality-wise?

lying fake bitches!!!! people that try to suck up to people just to get a leg up on others!!!!!! hypocrites!!!!!!! shitheads that aren’t at least a little self-aware!!!!!!!!!!! people that ask too many questions, fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

027. What is their idea of perfect happiness?

oh god that’s a good question can i take a raincheck i dunno, just a life without any kind of fear or anger? having a perfect soulmate that’s willing to do whatever? everything is going the right way? ultimately he feels perfect happiness is impossible and unrealistic since happiness is never constant and sustainable? uuuugh tbh it’s probably something he’d never consider because he thinks it’s so dumb and not gonna happen

059. List several phrases your character is fond of uttering. Where did they pick them up?

i only use like one of these but let’s play in the space and add some lines i should definitely be using more

“ hey, baby. ” i guarantee you he got this from some movie or game i just can’t put my finger on which one. i hear it so clearly in my head every time i type it out i just hear some chick’s voice i just can’t put my finger on who it is she’s high pitched and horny i just know it’s not catherine it’s either jessie from huniepop or one of her lines in huniecam studio i’m so fucking stupid

“ will you help me feel alive? ” or something along those lines, i feel like it was from some vampire drama on the cw can you tell that i don’t know anything this is just the single sexiest line in his fucking route i’m so angry about it my pants were already off

“ it’s one thing to not want something. it’s another to be told you can’t have it. ” i cheated this one’s from how i met your mother i’m a fucking asshole but he would totally say something in this wheelhouse either to himself or to someone he’s trying to convince

“ we’re only alive once. ” a classier way of saying yolo don’t fucking @ me

“ vampires are always in some kind of trouble. i prefer to be in it with you. ” this is a weekly reminder that i really need to watch true blood

“ i’m all yours, do whatever you want to me. ” it’s jessie huniepop again please he’s just so horny

074. What is your character’s favorite game?

would it be cheesy to say the game/art of pick-up artistry? like convincing people he’s worth their time and that they really wanna forget about their troubles if only for just one night? i feel like lanque finds a lot of fun in the thrill of the chase! he's usually extremely disappointed by how rare it is for someone to actually leave him satisfied, but the last thing he wants to do is consider something a waste of time. sometimes you gotta find the fun

076. How do they express anger?

he doesn’t, or at least not in terms of any sort of emotional projection. lanque isn’t usually someone to hide if something pissed him off. he’ll wait for someone to realize, and if they don’t and/or keep doing the thing he’ll just tell them ‘hey this was really shitty, stop it.’ 

---

@plumbacks asked:

011. How would your character court the person of their dreams?

as in how he would act in the relationship? terribly. lanque is already really bad in regular relationships and flings, but when he’ll find the one he will be an absolutely deliberate fucking mess. he’ll dig up information just to use it against them, try and express every single one of their flaws (even when they’re flaws he actually kind of likes) he will do anything to get out of that relationship.

he’ll use his poetry as a last resort, intentionally trying to come across as overly possessive and clingy (i mean he already is, but i’m talking like yuri doki doki levels. an intentional exaggeration of his clingyness to attempt to scare them off) but when they just accept it and say that it’s fine, he’d probably blow up at first!

lanque would break up with them!!! all the time!!! the worst on again off again relationship ever!!! it would take a ton of patience for someone that he really adores to get settled into the more genuine, sappy romance he really wants to have. taking them out on trips to the countryside, laughing and sharing picnics with fine wine, discussing books and even trying to write ones together

but getting to that point will take ages! it’s not worth it!!!

[gg-astrology]

Your posts for sun/moon placements are fantastic and I was wondering how would you describe someone with their sun in Scorpio + moon in Sagittarius. Thanks!

Aaaaah thank u so much!! 💞💞💞💞 And thaNK YOU FOR REQUESTING!! 💞💞💞 This is the LAST COMBO and then we’ll have ALL 144 COMBOS!!! 🙌💞💞 

[Below Cut: Scorpio Sun - Sagittarius Moon 🥢]

Mischevious, Devoted, Intensely Loyal (to self AND others) 

‘We ride or die’ but if we don’t Ride Hard or Die Hard-- if we don’t have a Chance of Dying (or Riding) then its Not Worth it 

(plays HARD like Hard Hard)  

Impulsive and also-- like, self-destructive??? probably has problematic Favs/Kinks they get Called out For often

WANTS to be called out--- that in itself a kink at this point smh 

‘ugh roast me more’ its not like ur masochistic its more like it fulfills your need for personal/intimacy and knowledge about urself exposed by others 

Relating urself to others?? But also?? the info being personalized or personally (secretive)-- only known to you prior-- is important??

It’s like having a dirty lil secret about ur oopsie 🔞or inner thoughts exposed turns u on?? 

Anyways this isn’t a calling out sdkjfnkjn I jus wanted to Ask ‘hey What the Fuck’ sometimes but ok its.... its ok to be like that we Get it

The tea has to be piping hot and spicy as hell for u to 🍵oof that hits the spot 😩💦👌

I’m a PG-13 blog but honestly???

The kind of people who goes ‘hnnnnnnnng theyre so bad, but i want them BC of that :((’ 

Consult: your addiction to making bad decisions because 1.yolo and also 2. you WANT it so you gotta GET it (emotional gratification/ Sagittarius mutable- physical)  

I tell them not to do the thing bc they were complaining about it (’should i do it?? i know its bad and I don’t want to :(((’) and then half an hour later they text me  ( ‘so.’ )

and Oh my God i Know they Did the Thing. 

Ok ok anyways.....let’s get to the more technical side of thing

BESIDES THIS THING 

Scorpio/Sagittarius are also humanitarian, strong impulsitivity that comes with the intuition of Scorpio combined with the spiritualism of Sagittarius.

You’re guided and often well-educated, or atleast, you seem really articulate in your thoughts and research. You often guide others with your casual/laid-back manner, and you have an easier time sinking deeper into the bigger things, the bigger project/picture and pulling out what’s crucial/necessary to pull out-- dissecting and simplifying them into something others can understand/relate to as well

You’re a joy to be around, mostly because you’re so chill and easy-going. Within that however, you have a strong independent need to have space and not be restricted. Your personal freedom/boundaries, your belief and your behaviors. If anyone tries to compromise that (even you) you feel agitated or alert and would want to distance yourself away.

Emotionally you don’t want to be compromised, you don’t want to be tied down even though you DO desire to get to that later (Scorpio). You want to keep your options open, most of the time you have a goal/desire in mind of what you’re looking for (directive and strongly intuitive) 

Even though some people might misunderstand you just by looking at you (bc you’re often a little rbf or minding your own business) -- you’re usually aware of the bigger picture, of wanting to spread and help others through your path, knowledge, discoveries/findings. To be expansive and encompassing, because you are ultimately kind to others (humanity as a whole honestly) and wants unity with others as well.

You don’t mind the hardship, the path to spiritual knowledge comes with it’s set of challenges and you don’t deter from it (ambitious in a way?) you take things step by step, but you always have an eye set on the highest peak of the mountain.

It’s admirable, because you’re often unorthodox (Scorpio) you question the norm, the acceptable. You want to seek/trail blaze your own path (through learning from others)

It comes with the territory that you’re often a little more blunt/straight-forward and candid. Sometimes even to-the-point and ‘I said what I said’ about some stuff than you realize. Learn how to use tact, or at least a modicum of diplomacy with others. 

You often sabotage yourself when it comes to ‘let people think what they think’ of you, instead of trying to help them get to know you better you close yourself off. You have to make more of an effort to let others in and to -- y know, talk and connect to others in a friendlier way. Give people a chance.

You often shut people down too fast, or self-protect yourself by saying ‘well if we don’t click then we don’t click’ --you’re not letting the greatness and kindness that you actually have through. Try to bring this forward, be a little softer instead of trying to be a ‘hard badass’ all the time.

Like most Scorpio, it comes to the point where you look towards your own goals and forget to look after others. You think once you’ve achieved your own successes, maybe people will come to accept/acknowledge you and maybe some won’t.

Your ideas and thinking is very ‘let it be up to fate/people’ -- if others or dumb then they’re dumb--- please don’t be like that

The lesson Scorpio/Sagittarius brings is that you ARE kind, open and affectionate. But the moment you become selective/exclusive of those to yourself/your groups of close friends. You immediately shut yourself off from opportunities to be loved or understood by others

It’s your own?? Self-doing?? That you expect to have people to hate you and thus you act out a certain way and THEN people hate you?? It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy you’re living

Confront: perhaps, your own autonomous/freedom-loving nature. You grip onto it so hard that it becomes your core motivator for closing yourself up.

You may sometimes think ‘well if I have this then I don’t need anyone else’ and then it leads to a cycle of ‘I love me and only me’ and flip to the extreme ‘I’m so lonely I hate me I want someone else’

Don’t let yourself fall into that 💀 Learn to help yourself by opening up more and being less judgemental/prejudice, learn to be diplomatic. Hold your tongue, don’t take everything so personally or intensely all the time. 

Learn how to have fun and be cool about stuff, and also try to expand your social group to becoming bigger and bigger. Think Aquarius-- instead of keeping it confined all the time. Reach out to people and don’t judge them/intimidate or test them. Just--- be nice to people.  So you can have a better time as well.

Alrighty!! 💞💞💞 Thank u for asking aaaaaah 💞💞💞💞 I hope u enjoy!! 💞💞

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

Alright, today I'm gonna get a little rant out of my chest because talking to the void is exactly how we cope under this roof.

In the past few months I've been watching and reading a lot of self-help and self-improvement content that pretty much always lead up to the concept of finding your inner passion that often can bring happiness, fulfilment, and, why not, be a source of income. Don't get me wrong, I agree with that - in fact I'm a firm believer that doing what you love is the best way to survive at this fuckass life prison on this godforsaken planet, but... here's a "but". What if I can't find that inner passion? What if my interests are too broad to be narrowed in? What if the society and the world is so oversaturated that I can't find my own place in it without having crippling thoughts about not being enough?

Time flies by and I'm still having the same questions. No answers, only more doubts. You might say: "fuck it dude, do whatever you want to do, yolo" and yes, I'm already trying but it's never enough.

Not having a main a passion that I'd put all of my energies and efforts in is the main problem here. I'm excited and driven by too many things all at once and that doesn't allow me to build my expertise in one thing. Actually the more I think about, the more I see that it might have some pro's and con's, both on totally opposite sides that don't really blend together:

- people like when you're eclectic and elastic in many subjects (minor demand)

- people like when your expertise is consistent and narrowed because they can be sure that you will deliver quality (major demand)

Choosing that one thing isn't as simple as it might seem in theory. I've tried different things, I've had plenty of projects in my mind, different strategies and I still have nothing but a collection of polished failures on my shelf. Sometimes I dust them off to remind myself to fail better.

The funny thing is that I'm writing this post while starring at my 2019 Goals Moodboard that I religiously made last month by cutting and gluing down a bunch of visionary pictures and motivational quotes in a lovely shade of pink, white, black and purple. Framed and hung it right next to my desk, so I can look at it every single day and remind myself what I want to achieve this year. Loud laughs, ladies and gentlemen, especially considering that it's only February and I already failed by letting my motivation and optimism vanish like a fairy fart.

Anyway, turning back to passions and motivations... I wish I could deliver a positive message but the only thing that comes up to my mind (that I also want to apply to my own shit show to feel better) is that they are both just like emotions and they cannot be experienced 24/7, all the fucking time. You can't feel exclusively happiness all the time. You can't feel sadness or anger all the time. They will eventually morph into some other emotions, even for a short ammount of time. I feel like the same applies to motivation as well.

It's a little bit more difficult about passion, though. I don't want to say that not having passion is okay. I think it's not. If you're not driven by your own passion and deep interests, you will most likely be annihilated by society around you. I feel like living a life in which you gave up to that is just awful and I, personally, don't want to give up. Not yet, although... that endless wandering is becoming really stressful and tiring.

[ninequestions9]

Ureem, 25, Actuary

What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?

I think it would be just to balance everything in life because in life you’ve got so many priorities. You’ve got work, you’ve got your family, church, God, and making sure you’re being satisfied there. Essentially you’re learning, you’re continuously finding answers to your questions. At work, I wouldn’t say it’s frustrating. I would say it’s a bit more challenging. I was talking about this with my godmother, she lives in England. A couple of days ago she wished me happy birthday so I just responded to her with a rant. She lives in the town of Lincoln and she’s a missionary. She became my godmother because she was very good friends with my mom in Pakistan while she was visiting so my mom wanted her to be my godmother.

    Anyhow, so she and I were talking about how life as a Christian in a corporate world can be challenging because everyone keeps saying you have to climb this imaginary ladder and the only way to get anywhere is climbing up. God forbid you take a step down. Then everyone has their own secular based opinion on what kind of projects you want to get on, networking, even if you don’t like talking to people, you’re supposed to be this version of yourself. That’s been the most challenging part. Being in an environment where people are focused on career rather than viewing career from a very spiritual level. I think the one thing I concluded in the conversation with my godmother was that after much going back and forth with my own self, side lining my ego, and just saying to myself “It’s ok if I don’t get on the most career benefitting project.” And it’s ok if I don’t love what I do. One thing when I was in college, everyone said if you love what you do you’ll never work a day. I was like “Ok, great, that’s fine.” Unfortunately, with what I love to do, you can’t always put food on the table. So there’s always that inherent responsibility. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter if you love what you do, as long as you mildly enjoy it. I guess I’m there. But it matters that you love who you do it for and to me that’s God. So if I love God, whatever I do, I do it for him. Coming to that conclusion has definitely been the most challenging part and finding those answers is frustrating. We’re now at the back end of it all, but yeah that was definitely the most challenging and frustrating part of this past year.

2. What trait do you wish you most had?

Patience. I feel like at times I act on impulse before praying about things; that’s not my go-to thing. I think I act on impulse and I feel like certain things can be avoided if I had prayed about it or was a bit more cognizant of it. Definitely patience. Definitely a bit more time to think about things, to think about steps, decisions. I’ve definitely learned from my mistakes. There are definitely things I’m a bit more cognizant about when I take my time to think about them. And to be fair, I think that acting on impulse is a kind of general theme around our generation. As much as I’d like to distance myself from people my own age, unfortunately, I tend to make the same mistakes. Some people will say that’s youth, but I try to find ways not to use that excuse. Just be a bit more wise or ask God to grant me wisdom. If Solomon can do it, why can’t I?

3. What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?

Loyalty and honesty. They kind of go hand in hand. Just loyalty in general is one of the first things I look for. The second thing…it’s important, but it’s not that important; It helps bridge the gap a lot easier, coming from different cultural backgrounds, but having a similar world view. If it’s faith based, that’s good, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. It just has to be a bit more rational in leaving space for question. I think that’s a good foundation for a good friendship. Lastly, probably a good sense of humor. A good sense of humor is kind of subjective. I was with a friend and he was showing me certain memes and I didn’t really find them funny, but I snickered, just to be nice. But I guess that’s why it’s important to have a similar world view because the jokes that he was sharing with me stem from a very different world view. So that’s why we didn’t really click on the sense of humor as a consequence of not having a similar world view.

4. What makes you feel brave?

I was reading something by Winston Churchill once and he said something like if you do have enemies, it’s a good thing because it means you’ve stood up for something in your life. Not sure how much I level with that, but it’s a good starting point. What makes me feel brave is if I do something that I know I’m not Biblically incoherent or outside of God’s will. If I’m standing for something that is Biblically coherent and within God’s will, then I know I have nothing to fear. If you think about it, people like Abraham, like Joseph, they were asked to do some really incredible things. Joseph was asked to take his wife and his child to Egypt and, overnight, he was asked to take a pregnant woman, who might have been stoned to death for adultery. Abraham was asked to pack up and leave home and go to Egypt. But there was this sense of bravery in them mainly because they knew it was God’s will. I’m not going to bring up the argument of Biblical coherency, but for them it was that God asked them to do something, they did it, and that’s why they felt brave. Not because of their own bravery but because they knew God was leading them. So moments like those.

5. What makes you feel vulnerable?

As odd as it sounds, I guess, surrendering control because there are many times in life when you have to do it and you’re only in control of your life when you know that you’re not in control of your life. At least that’s what I’ve experienced. I’ve only ever been content with my life when I’m not planning things or plotting moves for the future. None of them are nefarious but anyway…but yeah I think that’s the only time when I’ve not felt vulnerable. I’ve always constantly felt vulnerable when I’m planning for the future and I guess that’s the error. I’m trying to enthrone my own will for my life and I need to stop doing that. The more I stop doing that, the more content I am with the present. I’m sure God doesn’t say “Don’t plan for the future.” God doesn’t endorse the whole YOLO thing. He doesn’t endorse the brand, but he knows it’s true. God definitely wants you to plan for the future, but he doesn’t want that to be your thing that you’re doing. In the Bible God says the animals and birds in the sky I take care of and you are more valuable to me than these things so why wouldn’t I take care of you; why wouldn’t I see what’s best for you? Why worry about these things? Vulnerability strikes when I try to control things and then when things go out of my control I’m like “Oh, crap.”

6. What was your proudest moment?

I don’t think I’ve ever been that proud of myself. I don’t think I’ve done anything noteworthy. As strange as that sounds. Noteworthy things have happened in my life, but I don’t think I’ve deserved them. I kind of shy away from taking credit because I know how much work I put into things and how much is God’s grace. That’s why there’s not many things I’m proud of in my life, but I’m proud of my parents. They showed immense bravery for leaving everything in Pakistan behind, leaving their positions, leaving all the hard work they put in to get to the places they wanted to be in order to hit the reset button. I’m proud of them for that because that takes immense bravery. I haven’t done anything like that to be proud of myself about.

7. Who is your role model / hero and why?

Personally, I don’t like to have role models, especially humans. What I do like to have are people that I can learn from. My dad is not the perfect father, but he has qualities that I’m proud of and experiences that I have learned from. Earlier on, we were talking about my career and somethings that have been challenging; my father’s actually experienced that and I was too young to understand what he was going through, but now I do. I’m learning from some of his experiences that he went through when I was fifteen and I’m gaining context now when I’m twenty-five and kind of going through similar experiences. Similarly, I’ve got other individuals around me who when they were going through these experiences I was too young to understand them, but now I’ve reached a point in my life where I understand them a lot better. I wouldn’t say I have role models, but I have a lot of people I can learn from  and lean not to make the same mistakes. I’ve got good mentors who advise me not only on the good things they’ve done but also on the bad decisions they’ve made.

8. What is one life lesson you’d like to pass down to future generations?

The world is shallow. Don’t get swallowed by the shallowness of it all. You see so many things, bright lights and all that, but it’s very hollow and it will never satisfy you. In my own life, I’ve experienced that. It’s always when I’m in New York unfortunately. That’s like my go-to thing. Nothing against the city or the people who live there, but I think that what I’ve always experienced is this amazing sense of loneliness.

    I was in church last week and the pastor was referencing a quote from Mother Teresa and I think Mother Teresa once said essentially, the West is stricken with a poverty of loneliness and I think that stems from us chasing after things that really have no long lasting meaning. In life you go from graduating high school, some people don’t even get to do that, then some people either go to college or some people go to vocational school or wherever. Check. Then some people find a girl, settle down, get a family. Check. I feel like people around us who think from a secular view think about life as a check list; keep marking off things, keep marking off things. That’s where the shallowness comes from. In 2018, you need these clothes, this hairstyle; 2019, this is in. The color of the year is magenta now. Who comes up with this stuff? Then people go to cocktail parties and say “I’m wearing so and so” and you’re just like “Cool. Great.” It’s such a shallow chase. It’s good to have money, but the chase of it is so shallow and hollow. It doesn’t satisfy you. I know on Instagram you see so and so with so and so and we all just wind up competing with one another and then some of us lie. It’s just an endless chase of being something that the world wants you to be. On the other hand, Jesus says come to me all who are labored and I will give you rest. At times to some people, that sounds too good to be true. In reality it’s not. So that’s one thing I will impart to the younger generation is stop chasing after life and the shallowness of it all and start searching for truth.  

9. What is your opinion of Jesus?

Jesus was a very interesting figure. There are a lot of tags and labels you can put on Jesus. There are many times I think about what it must have been like. In the academic world, when Jesus started his ministry, it’s referred to as the ‘Jesus Movement.’ Just because the things that he said that were so controversial; “Love one another,” “Pray for your enemies” and all those things. I love how he responded to people. My favorite response of his was when he was in Jerusalem and the teachers of the law come and they want to trap him because the Roman soldiers were there and they wanted him to commit some sort of blasphemy. They basically wanted him to say don’t pay taxes to Caesar because they thought he was a nationalist Jewish leader. They ask him, “Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar?” What happens is, Jesus responds by asking for a coin and he asks the crowd “Whose face is on this coin?” They say, “Caesar.” Then he says, “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar. Give to God what belongs to God.” A lot of people have said that if the questioner was asking from a place of honesty, he should have had a follow up question. The follow up question should have been, “What belongs to God?” More likely than not, Jesus’s response would have been “Whose image is on you?” That would earn a Mic drop! And that is such a great way of how he maneuvered through people’s questions. I think that was the most fascinating thing to see was God’s wisdom. That’s just amazing. There’s a reason that to this date we haven’t seen anyone speak like that or we haven’t heard anyone say things like that.

    More secular people like to refer to Gandhi and bring up his examples, but Gandhi wouldn’t have been here had he not attended a lecture on the Beatitudes at UCL in London. So his nonviolence movement actually stemmed from the Bible. It didn’t happen because Gandhi was nonviolent. So the originator of this idea of nonviolence and this sheer sense of wisdom stems from Jesus. There are a lot of labels, but I think it’s really God’s wisdom and how he and Jesus brought everything back to God’s relationship with man and his identity and what he’s going to do for us. That’s what fascinates me about him the most because he always tries to show us what’s important.

[mrreuben]

Life Plan

Reflection

I was a very arrogant student. I refuse to pay attention in any academic related matters, I never studied any lesson from any subject, refused to practice analytical and problem solving activities, ignored and copied assignments that I was responsible for, and submitted low quality, subpar projects just to “get by” through my requirements in High School. I foolishly believed that I was naturally smart, and solely relying on my stock knowledge and intellectual ability is enough to get me through high school and college, which it miraculously did for the former.

Outside School, from the beginning of my second year in my secondary school, I started to get curious and entered all the vices my parents was telling me never to even attempt on trying. I began to start smoking, drinking, even using recreational drugs with my classmates. We also play competitive computer games excessively which resulted in learning how to gamble my allowances through games and record high numbers of absenteeism in school.

During these times, from 2nd year up to the year that I graduated from high school (fortunately I graduated in time), I thought I was living the life. I believed that this was how cool people were supposed to spend their time, by only thinking about yourself and what makes you happy, regardless of the consequence. I thought that I could continue living this degenerate life of arrogance through college, but God has a way of teaching his children a lesson.

Humbled

With God grace, I was admitted to the University of Santo Tomas, Faculty of Engineering and enrolled in B.S. Civil Engineering. My confidence and arrogance, as usual, was up the roof, and like in high school, the way of life that I’ve been accustomed with was being incorporated since the very beginning of my college life. I immediately started looking for friends or classmates that shares with me the same degenerate lifestyle of drinking and partying. I also did not put any effort in studying my subjects. Given the challenge that mathematics and physics poses, my arrogance and hard-headed attitude of self-confidence has been rooted so deep in my character that I was certain that I do not need to change my ways.

All in all, I had 18 units of failures in the faculty until the day that would wake me up and humbled me down came. I, again, failed some subjects, but this time, it amounted to 9 units, which is the maximum number of failures for one semester in the Faculty of Engineering. In order to be able to enroll for the next term, I need to sign an ultimatum that I cannot fail another subject in the faculty again, lest I’ll be kicked out of the program. Also, I would need to bring my parents to the faculty so they can be made aware of the agreement, and they too would also be required to sign the papers for my conditional status.

When my parents found out the status of my academics, they became furious, but rather than putting a chain around my neck and controlling my lifestyle and routines, they told me that I was free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, but he reminded me that we can only control our choices, but not our consequences. He told me that making mistakes is part of life, but we must be responsible enough to face the consequence of our actions. He also affirmed me that in the end, I am the one who will be most affected with my choices, that every choice that I make will have an impact in my future, both near and far.

The Redemption

After the epiphany, I have decided that I will get up and turn my life around. Even though the partying lifestyle continued, I made sure that I am able to execute my responsibilities and commitments in my academics, which in turn, first gave me an acceptable passing grade, into having one of the highest average in our major subjects and winning the Best Researcher of the Year for our thesis in the faculty of engineering. Now, I am a licensed Civil Engineer, a former engineer of the prestigious EEI Corporation, the largest construction firm in the country, and a current Engineer and Public Servant at the Department of Public Works and Highways – Head Office, which are known to accept only a dozen of engineers from thousands of applicants annually.

I remember how I pitched myself through my interview with the Undersecretary of DPWH, she asked me what I can say about my subjects that came up short in the passing marks, I told her that I went into a self-destructive pattern, but I was able to redeem myself through hard work and determination. Afterwards, she took me as an employee and told me, intelligence is great, but it comes and goes, persistence and the ability to redeem yourself on the other hand, is more extraordinary, and she was right.

Personal Vision Statement

In a few years, I will be known as a loving and compassionate persons who loves to help the less fortunate.

 Personal Mission Statement

I will live to help and inspire the next generation to aim for the stars. Don’t listen to those who says you can’t do it, because you know you can.

 Priority A: Family

As a young professional who’ve just started his journey into the ladder of career development, my main priority right now is to weigh in my priorities and learn to see and appreciate what really is important. Family should always come first, no matter how busy or demanding the career is. In our last days, we won’t tell ourselves that “I should’ve spent more time in the office” or “I should’ve aimed for this promotion”. I believe that what matters most are the bond that we share with our family. A bond that can be built only by spending time and prioritizing each other.

 Milestones and Timeframe

Right now, I am maintaining a work and life balance that I feel is in the right track with spending quality time with my parents. I worked in a company before that has required me to live far from our home for almost 2 years and a company so busy that I can’t even retreat to our home on weekends. I’ve learned from those times that with this set up, I believe that I am wasting my youth. No time for family, friends, and others. Working in the construction would require you to work for almost 24 hours a day. I’ve decided to resign my position, even if it’s a prestigious company, and transferred to company who offers a more flexible schedule compared to the latter.

In five years’ time, I hope that I have found the right woman for me. The woman that I can spend the rest of my life with. I do not fancy myself in needing to buy a house, a car, saving significant amounts in order to marry someone. As long as we are happy and compatible, I believe that we can handle starting our own life from scratch.

In 10 years’ time, I hope that me and my wife has given this world two or maybe three wonderful children who are well mannered, well educated, God fearing, and someone who sees the good in this dark world of ours.

In 20 years’ time, hopefully I have taught my children well, especially with essential values on how to treat people with respect and diligence. I hope I have given my wife all the love and respect that she deserve. I pray that I would have a wonderful family that is full with joy, even amidst struggles and challenges, I hope that we would be able to stay together, and fight these adversaries in strong unity.

  Priority B: Attitude

I’ve always been an optimistic. I always think of life as something that you should spend to make each day count. I rarely miss the opportunity to have fun with friends and family, but sometimes, too much fun is also unhealthy both physically and emotionally.

I always believed in living in a “happy go lucky” lifestyle also when I was younger. I still hold unto the YOLO life, but I’ve realized that there are things bigger than me that I might be able to contribute even a small amount of my talent and skills for the better good.

Milestones and Timeframe

Today, I meditate and enforce myself that I must think bigger. There are many things that I want to contribute to my community, especially to the younger generation. I fix my eyes upon the need of my society and how I can help now that I am earning a significant amount.

In 10-20 years, I hope that my attitude in life will be more relaxed. Instead of being aggressive, I hope that I will fix and focus my priorities, especially prioritizing the family first.

In 20+ years, I hope that I can share my journey, and how my thinking and character has changed from my youth. I plan to share my mistakes and realizations to my children, to teach them the way things are, so that they might minimize their regrets in their life.

Priority C: Financial

See annex A*

Milestones and Timeframe

See annex A*

 Priority D: Social

I’ve always been extrovert. I love people, I love talking and interacting with people. I am most happy when there are people around me, especially if I am able to engage in conversations with them regarding the things that interests me, namely, history, physics, philosophy, art, music, sports, and food.

I also have a passion in helping people, especially the needy. I also love bringing people who feels entitled, and doesn’t appreciate the things that they have in charity events. These events that I have engaged in, and brought some of my unfamiliar friends with the reality of the financially and emotionally struggling population, has given me and them some perspective and appreciation for the things we have now.

Milestones and Timeframe

I plan to be more active in the community in the next 5-10 years. Join and be active in community development groups and worker’s union memberships.

In 10-20 years time, I plan to strengthen my networks of colleagues, friends, and fellow entrepreneur in order to build a more engaging and positive society

 Priority E: Career

I have a lot of goals. I see myself as a successful engineer and business owner in the future. I plan to maximize my skills and potential through every opportunity that may come about. I also believe that I am a risk taker. I am willing to step away from my comfort zone in order to learn new things that will improve my career path.

 Milestones and Timeframe

In 5 years time after I am finished with my Public Service, I can see myself as an engineer in a fortune 500 company, and earning a significant amount to support my future plans for my family and my current and future family’s finances.

In 10-15 years time, I see myself as an engineer respected in my current field. A professional who has credibility and stature. I plan to make my parents proud and confident regarding my future and the future of my new family, I also plan to train the younger professionals so as I grow older, I am slowly passing the responsibilities to my apprentice and I can spend more time with my family.

In 30-40 years, I see myself near retirement and living a more relaxed attitude in terms of my career. I would want to focus more on charity and engaging community service, and most importantly, enjoying my family, and possibly my grandchildren that my children has given me. I plan to oversee the development of my kids through their careers and attitudes toward life in order for them to grow in the right values for the better of the common good.

  Priority F: Public Service

During my first job as an engineer, I worked in a private company who builds government infrastructure, specifically the Skyway and MRT7. I did my duties with great honor, knowing that these platform that I am currently standing, will be a monumental stepping stone for the progress and convenience of my fellow countrymen.

Today, I am currently working for the Department of Public Works and Highways (DPWH), and as a literal public servant and engineer of the Philippine Government, it is with great honor to be part of the Build Build Build program of our current administration. Our office, the Planning Department of DPWH, spearheads the project proposal for the Philippine Infrastructure Masterplan for the next 50 years. It is with great pride that I am able to be in service of the public for more than a year now.

 Milestones and Timeframe

I am currently an employee of the Philippine Government, and I plan to stay here for the next 3-5 years. Public Service has always been part of my plan and passion, and I want contribute to DPWH the best of my abilities in engineering and other fields that might help the department to be more efficient and effective in helping the Filipino people.

In 10 years time, if I decided to end my public service, I plan to continuously engage my society through community service. I plan to volunteer on helping the poor, cleaning the streets, and to operations that will help the country to be a cleaner, safer, just, and humane nation

In 15-20 years time, I plan to share my nationalism attitude to my children. I will bring them to my community service and outreaches so they will learn the essence of patriotism and national pride.

 Priority G: Education

Initially, I love to learn, but I hate going to school. As I have written in my life reflection, I have failed numerous subjects in my college days. I always skip classes, never study upcoming quizzes and exams, and when the class starts at the morning, I usually attend it while I am in a state of hangover. So it is ironic today that you can find me pursuing a post graduate degree in the prestigious De La Salle University.

2 years after I graduated and worked as an engineer, I’ve realized that I miss school, and I want to learn more about the corporate world. I also want to meet new people and expand my network in different fields, for almost all of my friends are all engineers. That is why I have decided to just go and take a chance in enrolling in one of the top management schools in the Philippines, the DLSU.

 Milestones and Timeframe

I will finish my Post Graduate Diploma in Management this April 2020, and I plan to proceed in taking up Masters in Business Administration in De La Salle University after a semestral break.

In 20-25 years time, I plan to finally teach my passion in any school that will give me an opportunity. I plan to teach history and philosophy to the younger generation. I hope I can make them appreciate the subject as it has appreciate me.

 Priority H: Physical

Our family is blessed with good health. Elders from both sides averages a life span of 80-90 years old, no cancers, no complicated diseases or infection. My father is in his mid-60s and my mother is in her late 50s, and both of them are working in their optimum. No maintenance medication, and no history of illness. But even with this fact, we still have to take care of our body, and be careful to not abuse it.

As I have said, I have the tendency to indulge myself in partying and drinking excessively, especially while I am young, single, and very early in my career. That is why I have started to prioritize in disciplining myself on what food to eat, and to control my drinking and partying culture.

Milestones and Timeframe

I plan to lessen my vices and continue regular exercise. I also plan to lessen my meat intake and eat more vegetables. I will invite my family to join me in living a healthy life style.

In 5-10 years time, If I will have enough finances, I will start buying organic foods to have healthier food options, and to also help the environment and to support the advocacy for animal rights.  

 Priority I: Pleasure

 As I’ve mentioned in my story, I am a person who indulges himself to pleasures. I admit that I love to travel, party, drink alcohol, and eat. I also love the thrill of life. I get excited in things that omits danger. I love heights, speed, zero or larger gravity. I delight myself in living the best life that I can by travelling and exploring the unknown.

  Milestones and Timeframe

In 5 years time, I see myself as a more mature and disciplined adult. I limit my alcohol intake and other vices. I would go to parties at a frequency of less than 4 times a year.

Also, during those times, I believe that I have found substitutes for my constant urge to seek thrills. I hope I had found a hobby who doesn’t have the same amount of risk for probably by that time I already have a family.

 Priority J: Artistic

I have been inclined to music all my life. Since I was 9 years old, I was already playing guitar, and worked my way in being skillful also in percussions, drums, keyboard, bass, and even singing.

I also have a tremendous fondness in philosophy, science, and history. I believe that these things also translates to arts. The art of human reasoning, critique, and thinking processes. The art of the physical and scientific laws that governs our daily lives, namely, gravity, physics, astronomy, thermodynamics, relativity, etc. And the art of history, not specifically the art itself, but the progress and advancement of the life and human population. The process of evolution, the rise and fall of different civilizations all across the continents, and the religions that shaped our world today. I love reading and learning the catalysts that forced the chain of events that has shaped our current history.

Milestones and Timeframe

In 5 to 10 years’ time, I plan to share my talent and skills to my wife and children. Hopefully, they will share the same interest and enthusiasm in music, art, science, philosophy and history like me. I believe that art is one of the keys that help develops not only our capabilities, but also our personalities and character. The things mentioned above helped me to question everything, to be curious in life and in knowledge. To seek the truth and adhere to it. It also taught me patient and persistence. It made me realize, especially the musical skills that it doesn’t come over night. You need to be motivated to practice diligently with no compromise. This is what I want to pass on to my wife, children, and the children after them. I believe that education starts from home, and this might help my family in attaining a beautiful perspective in life.

[only1jinyoung-blog]

[INTERVIEW CUT]  THE STAR, August 2017 Issue

VOICE OF YOUTH The youth of JB and Jinyoung who have gathered for JJ Project.

At the end of a five year wait, GOT7 JB and Jinyoung return as unit JJ Project, Due to the two youths who spend every moment seriously and doing their best, it becomes a moment of waiting for the new album that is a step more mature.

It’s a unit album after a long while. How do you feel? JY: It’s been awhile since we did things just the two of us so it feels new but at the same time I feel a lot of burden. After the recent GOT7 album wrapped up, the members spoke about how the next album would be really important, and how the next album should be so that we would be able to grow musically. However, that next album became JJ Project’s album. We need to fill up the spot well and make it a turning point and I’m worried as to whether we can do that. JB: For that, we have to work hard (laughs).

What’s different between the last album and this? Please explain this album simply. JY: This album is more gentle (quiet) compared to the previous JJ Project album. JB: You’ll be able to feel the depth of it from the dance and the song. JY: A mature JJ Project, You might cry listening to the song (laughs). Because you relate to it so much. It talks about life. JB: The album is called <Verse 2> and there are 8 songs. The overall feel of the album is tranquil and it is somewhat optimistic. As you listen to the songs, you’ll be able to feel ‘I need to get a grip on my mind’, we filled (up the album) with those songs.

What message do you want to deliver the most from this album? JB: I hope you will be able to relate lots when listening to our music. JY: The title of the title song from this album is “Tomorrow, Today”. It talks about youth having to know and decide the matters of tomorrow when one is unsure about today even. It talks about the lost/wandering (self) and the anguish that youths face.

Are there songs that you worked on? JY: We participated in the whole album. JB: There are many, Out of all the albums thus far, we had the most involvement/participation in this album.

As well as you match with one another, I feel like there would have been some interesting anecdotes while preparing for this album. JY: The fact that it proceeded so smoothly? (laughs) Usually when preparing for an album, there are instances when the thoughts of the artists and the company differ. However for this album, it was smooth to the point that we did not need to adjust any of our inputs. JB: It’s similar to today’s photo shoot. Smooth. (laughs) JY: Shooting the music video too was fun. For the first time, we did not dance in it. JB: That’s right. We did not dance. Because it’s different from how it was before, it felt new. Like a road movie, we walked the road/path comfortably and the director shot our natural sides. It felt like we were on vacation when we were filming it. JY: This music video form is the first time we’re trying it; different from all the music videos we’ve done all these while. You could say it’s experimental.

If you were to make another unit group in GOT7 apart from Jinyoung and JB unit, whom would you like to do it with? JY: If I do it with Yugyeom and Bambam, I think it would be really ‘strong/tough’ music. Also, like we did during our concert, Mark hyung and I, JB hyung with Youngjae, and Yugyeom, Bambam and Jackson - 3 units like this. JB: I think that’s fine. JY: The styles of the 3 units are different so I think it’s fun. JB: In addition, Bambam and myself. The music genre that we like are similar so I think it would be great if the two of us could do it.

What’s different between GOT7 promotions and JJ Project promotions? JY: The part where 2 person have to do what 7 people did. That preparation time is short? (laughs) JB: Unlike with GOT7, the importance/value of the dancer hyungs grows. Since there are only 2 members in JJ Project, the dance hyungs work hard(er). Even out of the members, it is the quiet Jinyoung and myself; since the two quiet members of the team are gathered, the overall vibe is serious. Even when we’re joking around, shall I say that the jokes we do are just those that are thrown out like that. However, when GOT7 all gather, we are very active.

You’ve amassed huge popularity overseas such as in countries like Japan, Thailand, Vietnam etc. As you travel back and forth Korea and overseas, are there any difficulties? JB: Haha, is that right? Every time we travel various countries, we try to use the local language (of the country) as much as we can. Because it is a different country’s language, there are times when we get confused. For example, when we perform in China, there are times when we mistakenly get confused with Japan (words). (laughs)

How do you appeal to the foreign fans? JY: Although they do like it when we speak in Korean, they like it even more when we converse in their country’s language. It’s only when that happens that they think it truly becomes communication. Speaking in the country’s local language and not speaking in that language is the difference between the sky and the land. JB: I think that through using the country’s language is how they can best relate. It’s hard but we show that we are putting in effort.

When you look back at GOT7 now, do you think you are going in the direction you want to? JY: We undergo a lot of trial and error. I think that right now, we’ve gotten much more stable music and concept wise. JB: ‘Just Right’ and up till ‘If You Do’, everything was great but on the other hand, it feels like we were still unable to find our path. However as we did the Flight Log series, I find we found our spot. I think to some aspect, we’ve found our own unique color. With the next album, I want to give a new change.

JB and Jinyoung both work hard at acting. What are the upcoming acting plans? JB: For the time being, I don’t know. For now, I want to focus on the music I’m doing now. As time pass and I start feeling ‘It’s okay to start learning about other things now’, I think that would be the right time for me to try (acting) again. JY: I’m currently filming for a web drama and for plans beyond that, I’m thinking about it slowly. Regardless of genre, I’m not picky and I want to try a lot.

Do you watch each other’s acting and give each other feedback? JB: Back when we were acting together, there are times when we would do it occasionally. JY: I thought I acted well back then (laughs). As time passed, I think ‘I really lacked a lot huh’. JB: Since the filming went by quickly, I was trying to get used to it but I was out of it. JY: We had to trust the director and follow his lead (laughs) JB: I seek out advice from the other actors and I learnt a lot. Of course I still have to learn now.

Apart from music and acting, are there other fields you’d like to try out? JB: My hobby is in taking photos. If an opportunity arises, I’d like to learn about it in depth. I have a lot of interest in the world of art. I’ve thought about learning about it. But I can’t draw well (laughs). JY: How about modern art? JB: Ah in that case, then I would be able to do a video art a little. After learning it. JY: I haven’t thought much about other things so I don’t really know yet. If we’re talking about hobbies then I want to fish or hike. I especially like hiking. The air is good and I like climbing mountains. I go to Bukhansan sometimes; I like that (I get to) organize my thoughts as I climb.

Lately ‘YOLO�� is popular. If you were given time and money right now, what do you want to do straight away? JY: I’ll send half to my family and I want to go on a vacation with the other half. JB: I don’t know. There are many things I want to do so I don’t know what should I do. If I get lots of time when either backpacking or get myself a motorized scooter and go overseas with it. I think that would be fun.

What do you think of the most when you’re having a hard time? JB: What I think about most when I have a hard time is definitely alcohol. Haha. I’m kidding. I don’t particularly think of anything. My biggest thought when I’m having a hard time is to quickly head to bed. And even if I don’t want to sleep, I’m the type to sleep a lot of I’m having an extremely hard time or extremely stressed out. JY: I think of friends and family. Just the fact that they are on my side gives me strength. JB: I agree with that. Family and friends. JY: When I feel like I’m losing everything, I feel a sense of stability thinking ‘Still, I have my family and friends’.

Although it is a period of time where you are busy working, on the other hand, it feels like just like your peers, you would have thought of wanting to be in a relationship. JB: There are times when I do want (to be in a relationship). JY: It would really be a lie to say that there is none of that (laughs). JB: However, even if I do date, I know that I will put work before my relationship therefore I think I will hurt the other party I am in relationship with. So it (thoughts of dating) doesn’t really get to me. JY: Those words are suave. JB: Even if I think I am to regret this later, I feel like this is wise decision. I can just do it later (laughs). JY: I think JB hyung’s words are really suave because it is not selfish. Because you know what is your priority so you think this way.

If you were to date, what kind of relationship do you want to have? JB: A free relationship? To not bother about each other’s work and to understand each other a lot. I want to have that kind of relationship. JY: I would like it if it was someone who is comfortable like a friend. I think that when you get stressed out (by it), that’s not a relationship.

Alright, in changing the vibe, what is the bucket hat to JB?  JB: Hahaha. Right now, it is something of most importance to me. Wearing a ball cap does not cover everything. When I go to places like the airport, I still get a little embarrassed and shy by people taking photos of me. Therefore, in order to cover it all, I use the bucket hat often.  JY: How about using an umbrella? Should I buy one for you?  JB: No no (laughs). The bucket hat is the easiest and covers up my face well. I used it a lot when I was younger since I wore it when I was b-boying too.

What is no-jam (no fun) to Jinyoung? JB, JY: (laughing while clapping) JY: I admit this (laughs). JB: But Jinyoung is funny lately. JY: I think I’m different. Lately humorous people are the trend. But how does it work if everyone is humorous? Because everyone will feel like it’s floating so I should have control of the center. The members are all funny. They are all animated and active so I thought “Must I be like that too?” Is that a good excuse? Haha. JB: Jinyoung is the funniest when he’s making fun of someone else, he does it with wit. I learn from him too.

As a wrap up, please say a word to the fans who have been waiting for a long time for JJ Project. JB: We’ve returned after 5 years. Thank you. I heard that there were lot of interest from people in hearing that JJ Project is coming back. Just in that alone, I believe, is a success. It made me think that the group ‘JJ Project’ was not in vain, so thank you. (The album) is packed with good songs so I hope you can anticipate for it as much as you’ve waited. JY: I think that this is an album that is the most completed out of all the music I’ve done. All 8 songs are great so I hope you listen to them all without missing any one of them. If you listen to the lyrics, you’ll be able to know a lot of our thoughts. You will think, “Ah these friends live life and promote while have these thoughts.”

scans: ALMOO  translation: haetbitmark

[lgbtloudhouse]

I'm bored as hell so why don't I just post the entire Back in Black Script?? . . . . in: The Loud House Encyclopedia 

The following is a transcript for "Back in Black".

Script . . [The episode begins with Lincoln finishing his model of solar system for a science project]

Lincoln: There you go, Mars. Right next to your buddy, Earth. [starts rotating the project] Oh, watch out for Jupiter. He's full of gas.

Lucy: [holding a container of fake blood] Hey, Lincoln.

[Lincoln gets startled by his sister's appearance and falls off the chair. Fake blood splatters on his project. He then gets up.]

Lincoln: Lucy, you got blood all over my school project!

Lucy: Relax, it's fake. Sigh. Unfortunately.

[Later, Lucy is mopping the fake blood while Lincoln uses a blow dryer on the book's pages]

Lucy: [noticing her fake blood's viscosity] Hmm, needs more molasses. That'll give it just the right amount of ooze. [She walks off] [The doorbell rings]

Lincoln: [Opens the door] Hey, Rusty.

Rusty: [Fists bumps him] Hey, Lincoln. My parents are both at work so I have to bring my little bro.

[His identical brother comes in] Lincoln: No problem. Hey, Rocky. Make yourself at home.

Rocky: [Fist bumps him] Thanks, man.

Lincoln: [To Rusty] Did you bring Uranus?

Rusty: Never leave home without it.

[Later, Rusty and Lincoln are finishing their science project. Rocky is seen playing with his baseball. Lucy walks out of the kitchen and sees Rocky.]

Lucy: Gasp. [starts to flirt with Rocky] Oh... [Spills the maple syrup she is holding]

[Lincoln, Rusty, and Rocky hear Lucy. However, she disappears, leaving footsteps of maple syrup into the living room.]

Lincoln: What the?

[Rocky is playing on his video game portable on the living room couch]

Lucy: [Sticks her head out of the fireplace] Sigh.

[Rocky puts down the game portable. However, Lucy disappears again.]

Rocky: I gotta pee.

Lincoln: Bathroom's upstairs and down the hall to the left.

[As Rocky goes to the bathroom, Lucy hangs upside down from the vent]

Lucy: Sigh.

[As Rocky turns around, Lucy disappeared]

Rocky: [confused] Hello?

[Outside, as Rocky plays soccer, Lucy sticks her head out of Charles' doghouse]

Lucy: Sigh.

[As Rocky turns around, Lucy disappeared again and Charles shows up instead as he drags his butt to leave]

Lucy: Sigh. [Cut to Lucy's bedroom] I know he's not really my type. But he's so- [looks out of the window] what's the word my sisters use? Cute. [Carries Edwin] Don't worry, Edwin. You'll always be my undead soul mate. But until we're united, it'd be cool to have someone to hang with. [Edwin just sits there] You think I should just talk to him? [Pats Edwin] I knew you'd understand.

[In the kitchen, Rocky opens the refrigerator door. He spots Lucy's container of fake blood. From that, he takes it. Then he closes the refrigerator door.]

Lucy: I see you found my blood.

[Rocky gets startled, making him jump and throw the container. The fake blood splatters on him.]

Lucy: It's my new recipe. Beet juice, molasses, and cocoa powder. Hmm. [Pulls Rocky's shirt.] Now it's got the ooze but not the splatter. [Holds out her hand] Hi, I'm Lucy.

[Rocky freezes for a moment, then runs away. He walks out of the bathroom.]

Lucy: [Holding one of Lincoln's shirts on a hanger] Thought you might want a clean shirt. [Rocky stops himself into a halt.] Just to be clear, it's my brother's. [Rocky backs away] I would never wear something so offensively cheerful. 

Rocky: [Starts falling down the stairs.] Ah! [Rocky lands, gets up uninjured, and runs out of the door. Lincoln and Rusty take a peek out of the dining room.]

Rusty: Was that Rocky? Sorry, Lincoln, you'll have to finish the project. [Opens and closes the door to go after his brother]

Lincoln: [Walks to Lucy, who is sitting on the couch] What happened?

Lucy: I keep trying to talk to Rocky but every time he runs away from me. [curls herself up] What am I doing wrong?

Lincoln: Well, what are you talking to him about?

Lucy: The usual stuff. Blood, bruises. [Lucy's bats fly onto her head] I didn't even get a chance to show him my new embalming kit.

Lincoln: You know, maybe he's just not into that kind of stuff.

Lucy: Then, what is he into?

Lincoln: I don't know him very well but he just seems like a regular, normal kid.

Lucy: Regular and normal. Hmm... [Walks up the stairs] Regular and normal...

[It is nighttime in the house.]

Lori: Lola! Did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?!

Lola: [Opens her bedroom door] No, but someone took my perfume. I bet it was Leni!

[The door to the bathroom opens, where Leni is seen inside.]

Leni: Was not! But I'd like to know who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori!

[Lori, Leni, and Lola start arguing] Leni: Where do you get off?!

Lori: You are literally the one always stretching out my sweaters every time you borrow them!

Leni: Fess up!

Lola: That's my scent! I can't let people associate it with you!

Lori: We can do this the hard way-

Lola: [turns around] Hang on, I smell my perfume! [Sniffs up the pink scent leading her to Lynn and Lucy's room.] LYNN! You'd better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads!

[The three sisters gasp and it pans to show Lucy using Lola's perfume, Lori's lipstick and wearing Leni's dress]

Lori: [curious] What are you doing?

Lucy: I-I-I...I thought if I'd be regular and normal, Rusty's brother Rocky would like me. Sorry I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad.

Lori: [stomps her feet] You're darn right we're mad! [Lucy is down; excited]  Mad you didn't let us help!

Leni: Yeah, we've been wanting to give you a makeover since like, birth!

Lola: [comes in with a big cardboard collage of fashion models with Lucy's face plastered all over their own] I've been working on this Lucy vision board for years! Until now, it was just a fantasy.

Lori: [calls her other sisters] GUYS! IT'S LITERALLY HAPPENING! LUCY'S FINALLY READY!

[The others get out their beauty gear]

Lucy: Will this hurt?

[The girls all start giving her a makeover. This results in Lucy looking like a cheerleader]

Sisters: Too peppy.

[They give her another makeover and this time, the result is Lucy as an 80's diva]

Sisters: Too poofy.

[They try again and this time, Lucy looks like a fancy princess]

Sisters: Too princess-y.

[One more makeover results in Lucy wearing hot pink and having blonde hair]

Sisters: Too...PERFECT!!!

Lucy: [examines her new look with her pet bat perching on her head] Hmm...I can live with this. What do you think, Fangs?

Lola: [shoos Fangs away] Eww, eww! No more bats!

Luna: Yeah, and do not talk about mortality.

Leni: Or death.

Lana: Or ask him his blood type.

Lori: Or suggest a cemetery for a date.

Luan: And make sure you laugh at all of his jokes. Like this. [laughs heartily]

Lucy: [not even trying] Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha.

Lynn: Oh, and talk about sports. Guys really dig that.

Lisa: If all else fails, try a little of my patented pizza spray, scientifically proven to attract eight-year-old boys. [Lisa sprays some on Lucy while the other sisters cough in disgust]

Lucy: Gag.

Lisa: Note to self: go lighter on the anchovies.

[Cliff suddenly attacks Lucy due to the spray and she nonchalantly screams at this attack and runs out of her room while passing Lincoln with his completed project. Fangs comes flying out and almost hits Lincoln and his project]

Lincoln: [confused] Who was that?

Lori: The new and improved, regular and normal Lucy!

Leni: AKA the future Mrs. Rocky!

Lincoln: So, that's how you're helping Lucy? I don't know, guys. That seems like a really-

Lisa: Oh, please. As if a male would have any insight into matters of the heart.

Luna: You just get Rocky back here, bro.

Lincoln: How am I supposed to do that?

Luan: Get Rusty to bring him. Don't you guys have more work to do on your project?

Lincoln: Nope. All finished.

Lynn: [smashes the project with her hockey stick] Not anymore.

[Lincoln and Rocky are fixing up the damage Lynn caused to the project]

Rusty: [suspicious] So, the dog did this?

Lincoln: Uh, yup. [feigning discipline] Bad Charles!

[Charles whimpers and drags his butt across the carpet in frustration. Lucy is coming down the stairs. She slips in her new shoes but quickly regains her balance and poses for Rocky. The other girls are looking toward this eagerly, but Rocky doesn't seem to notice Lucy. Leni signals Lucy to flip her hair at him]

Lucy: [flipping hair] OMG, Rocky. It's totes great to see you.

Rocky: Um...who are you?

Lucy: I'm Lucy.

Rocky: Oh. Uh...I didn't recognize you. [Enter Lori dragging Bobby into the house while pretending to be on a call on her phone]

Lori: [acting] You can't make it to mini-golf? But we already bought four tickets!

[Bobby looks at Lucy in perplexity over her new look and Lori nudges him for his cue]

Bobby: [reading something on his arm] Oh, um, right! Um, maybe we should...invite two other people to come.

Lori: [gasping and acting] What a great idea! Anyone? Lucy?

Lucy: [acting] I'm supposed to meet my girlfriends at the mall, but...YOLO.

[Lori nudges Bobby for his cue again]

Bobby: Oh! [reading his arm script] If only there was another guy to round out the foursome.

Lori: You're free, right, Rocky? [grabs his arm] Great!

[Lori and Lucy eagerly leave with their confused dates while the other sisters grin with hope]

Rusty: [hits on them] Any of you other ladies looking for a date?

[They all just back away upstairs after hearing that]

[Hole-In-Onederland. The dates are playing a game.]

Lori: Just follow my lead, and remember, regular and normal.

[Lucy nods. Lori swings and misses her ball]

Lori: [acting] Oops! [giggles] Boo Boo Bear, what am I doing wrong? Can you help me?

Bobby: [oblivious] But, Babe, you're on the Varsity Golf-[Lori hits him with her putter] OW! I mean, sure, Babe. I'll help you. [shows her] Okay, just square your shoulders and follow through.

[They putt together. Lucy tries doing what Lori did and hits Rocky in his knee]

Lucy: Oops. [tosses her putter]

Rocky: Ow! What was that for?

Lucy: I thought uh, um, uh, how about that Baseball team that played the other night? [nervously grins as Rocky looks on confused]

[The next hole, Bobby putts his ball through the windmill and sinks it]

Lori: Ooh. [chuckles and claps] Great shot, Boo Boo Bear. [giggles]

Bobby: That one's for you, babe. [pokes her nose]

Lori: Aw! [giggles]

[Rocky steps up to the putting position and hits his ball, making it fly everywhere in the course]

Lucy: Ooh, great shot, Rocky Bear.

Rocky: What? I totally shanked it! My ball went down a rain gutter.

Lucy: Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny. [pushes him]

Rocky: Ah! [falls into the water hazard]

[On the haunted hole, Rocky sinks his ball into the cup]

Bobby: Good shot, bro. [fist bumps Rocky]

Lori: [feigning fear] Ooh, this hole is creepy! Right, Lucy?

[Lucy is admiring a casket]

Lucy: Whoa. The Freilich 2000 with crushed velvet interior. I've only seen these in catalogues. [opens it up and prepares to get in]

Lori: [pulling her sister back] Lucy, no no no! [whispering] Regular and normal!

[When Lori pulls Lucy free, she accidentally hits Rocky who lands inside a coffin screaming all the way]

[Back at the Loud House, the other girls are waiting around for Lori and Lucy to get back. Lola is pacing the floor, Lana is adding her booger to Lisa's chemical, Lynn is tossing a baseball up in the air bored, Luna is playing a ditty on her acoustic guitar, Luan is reading a book, and Leni is playing with Lily. Soon, their dating sisters get back and they're eager to hear what happened]

Lola: TELL ME EVERYTHING! TELL ME EVERYTHING!

Leni: Are you totes in love?

Lucy: [taking her pink shoes off; depressed] No. We are totes not.

Lori: Lucy, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard.

Sisters: Sorry.

Lori: We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you.

Lucy: Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up. [heads upstairs]

Lori: Well, lesson learned: you can take the girl out of the coffin, but you can't take the coffin out of the girl.

[Lincoln has just finished his project again and hears Lucy]

Lucy: Well, Edwin, Rocky doesn't like me as myself, he doesn't like me as a regular, normal girl, he just doesn't like me. [takes off her accessories] Sigh. I was a fool to ever think it could work with a mortal being. [pulls out her coffin and sits in it in despondence]

Lincoln: Poor kid.

Lucy: Fangs, bedtime.

[Fangs comes swooping by and knocks Lincoln's project out of his hand, thus destroying it]

Lincoln: Dang it.

[The next day at Rusty's house. Lincoln and Rusty have finished the project yet again.]

Rusty: There we go. Now, as long as we keep it far away from your house, we should be done.

[Rocky comes walking by covered in some red substance]

Rusty: [panicking] AH! ROCKY! YOU'RE BLEEDING! [gasps and faints] [Lincoln looks over his project partner's state]

Rocky: Don't worry, man. Rusty faints all the time.

Lincoln: Yeah, but are you alright?

Rocky: Oh, yeah. This is fake blood.

Lincoln: Why would you have fake blood?

Rocky: I saw Lucy making it at your house, and it seemed kinda cool, so I thought I'd give it a try. Anyway...[walks off]

[Lincoln gets an idea and bumps the project off the table with his butt]

Lincoln: [feigning] Oops.

Rusty: [coming to] Wha...what happened?

Lincoln: Uh...you fainted and broke our solar system.

Rusty: Aw, man!

Lincoln: That's okay. We can fix it at my house. I have an extra Jupiter.

Rusty: [unsure] Your house?

Lincoln: Well, our project isn't any safer here.

Rusty: I guess you're right. Come on, Rock! Let's roll!

[The Loud House. Rusty and Lincoln are once again repairing their project while Rocky is playing video games]

Rusty: Done! Form a protective perimeter.

[He and Lincoln surround their solar system with their arms. While that's going on, Lincoln notices Lucy coming into the kitchen, back to her usual goth self while trying to avoid Rocky]

Lincoln: Hey, Rocky, grab us some sodas from the kitchen, will ya?

[Rocky shrugs and goes to the kitchen. Lucy puts in some more fake blood and just as she closes the door, Rocky's shown to be behind it and for once, she's the one who gets startled]

Lucy: Ah! [calm] Oh. Hi.

Rocky: [with sodas] Uh, hi. You changed your hair back.

Lucy: Yeah, the blonde wasn't really me. I was trying to be regular and normal, but I think I'm just gonna be myself.

Rocky: I'm really glad to hear that.

Lucy: Thanks. Well, see you later. [realizes] Wait. You are? But when we first met, you kept running away. I thought I freaked you out.

Rocky: To be honest, I thought you were too cool for me, and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just ran.

[The two realize they have more in common and blush]

Lucy: Hey, uh, my coffin collection's in the basement. Wanna check it out?

Rocky: Sure. They'd be really fun. As long as I don't have to get in one.

Lucy: Deal.

[Lucy turns to Lincoln and gives him a thumbs-up as thanks]

Rusty: [exhausted from their protecting their project] Can we stop? I'm feeling faint.

[The next day at school, Lincoln and Rusty are carefully bringing their project to avoid having it get ruined at the last second]

Rusty: Easy. Ah! Watch the pothole!

Lincoln: It's okay, Rusty. We spent all weekend on this, we're not gonna drop it now.

[Rocky and Lucy are right behind them with a container of fake blood]

Lucy and Rocky: Hey, guys.

[Both Lincoln and Rusty leap in the air and yelp while still holding onto their project]

Rusty: Phew. Good save, man! [highfives Lincoln]

Lucy: Sorry we scared you.

Rocky: We just wanted to tell you we nailed the fake blood recipe.

Lucy: We also threw in a few popcorn kernels for brain matter. [adds kernels]

[The sight of this makes Rusty pass out and drop the project, destroying it one last time]

Lincoln: [exasperated] Dang it.

[whosoever-in-christ-blog]

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” — A. A. Milne No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us. — 1 John 4:12 I grabbed my canvas book bag, slung it over my shoulder, and headed out of my dormitory to trudge across campus to the library, where a few students and I were gathering that windy autumn afternoon to work on our assignment for Philosophy 200. (I may have had an extra spring in my step because a cute new student named Todd Ehman would be there — and I might have a chance to sit next to him!) The project that day included thinking through and coming up with what the professor in our small Christian college called our summum bonum. Summum bonum is a Latin expression meaning “the highest good.” It was introduced by Cicero to parallel the “Idea of the Good” in ancient Greek philosophy. The summum bonum is commonly referred to as an end in itself that also encompasses all other goods in life. In medieval times the phrase was used to describe the act of ultimate importance — that singular and paramount pursuit that human beings should strive to do. Our professor gave us several examples of what someone might choose as their highest good in life. Perhaps it was God. Or family. Or caring for the poor. There really was no correct answer. It was up to us to prayerfully consider the assignment and then present our case for what was most significant to each of us and why, gathering in small groups to explain our choice. As I sat in the library fiddling with my number two pencil, I tried to think of what I would choose as my summum bonum to share with the group. What was most important to me in life? What did I think was the highest good — the chief pursuit that mattered more than anything else? I decided I would choose relationships. Even at my young age I had already heard many people say how when we pass away, we cannot take anything with us. And I remembered my spiritual mother’s assertion that the only two reasons we are on Earth are to have a relationship with God and to show others the way of salvation through Jesus. Their comments showed me that things were less important than people. Certainly what was most precious to me were my family, my close friends, and my fellow brothers and sisters at the church I’d attended in the three years I had been a believer. It wasn’t hard for me to write a paper asserting that what mattered most in life is relationships. So I whipped out a canary-yellow legal pad and began to scratch out my thesis and main points, determined to make the argument that nothing in life mattered more than people. Nothing. That philosophy assignment was decades ago, but I still believe that nothing in life matters more than relationships. And the longer I am on this Earth, the more convinced I am that it’s true. Why Am I Here? One of the oldest questions known to humans might very well be, “Why am I here?” Something deep within us longs to know the meaning of life. Is there a point to it? And if so, what is it? Where do I fit in the grand scheme of things? And if I am on Earth for a purpose, how do I find it? We simply do not want to go through life having missed our cause and calling. Pastor Rick Warren tackled this topic in his bestselling book The Purpose Driven Life, subtitled What on Earth Am I Here For? In just the first five years after the book released, it sold over thirty million copies. Thirty million people wanted to know their purpose for being on Earth! Warren’s book was his attempt to lay out the biblical perspective on why we exist. Society, of course, has its own answers to this question. One answer is to grab all the gusto we can. After all, we only go around once, right? We might as well live it up and accumulate all of the material possessions or memorable experiences that we can. Just look at some of the popular hashtags in social media. #yolo stands for “you only live once.” People use this phrase to justify some of their outlandish or crazy behavior. (Perhaps even some illegal behavior as well!) And #fomo reminds us of our “fear of missing out.” After all, we don’t want to be left behind. Interestingly, for all of social media’s frequent illustrations of people’s narcissism and selfishness, it also gives us glimpses of true acts of kindness and episodes of thoughtfulness. The articles, pictures, and videos associated with such benevolent behaviors often go viral. Just today I saw the following stories trending on social media: A police officer who used his own money to buy a homeless family clothes, food, and a ten-night stay in a local hotel A social worker who decided to adopt one of her clients, a teenager who had been in foster care for over a decade A customer who gave a four-digit tip to a faithful waitress so she could pay down some of her college debt While many of us may be self-centered and care too much about material possessions or glamorous experiences, we also celebrate selfless acts of kindness and care for other humans. (And animals. I mean, who doesn’t love a great animal rescue story!) What does this tell us? Perhaps we all experience a tension between the selfishness of what we want to do and the appeal of the truly heartwarming and touching stories of kindness we see. We long to live unselfishly as well, but sometimes we are just too accustomed to our self-centered living. Or we think that our small acts of kindness don’t add up to much, while the grand ones we spy online seem to make a real difference. Or maybe we have just been conditioned from birth to think of ourselves first; our default mode is to look out for number one. Perhaps if we paid closer attention to why our hearts are drawn to such stories, we’d discover it is because we are called not only to view them online but to live them out in our own lives as well! A Three-Step Life Plan Of course Jesus gave us the answer not only to why we are here but what we are supposed to do while we’re here. Take a look at how He answered a tough question a religious leader asked Him, and what His answer teaches us about our why and our what: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” — Matthew 22:36-40 Jesus asserts that the entire teaching of God — all the law and the prophets — hinge upon these commands, which can be summed up in this three-step life plan: 1. Love God. 2. Love others. 3. Love yourself. Relationships. Relationships. And more relationships. Why are we here? To love. What are we supposed to do? Again: love. God, others, and even self. When I became a Christian, I read the command to love yourself and thought it was strange. I thought surely the Christian thing to do was to think very little of ourselves. The concept of loving myself was very foreign. But when I followed Jesus’ line of logic, I came to a different conclusion. If Jesus told us we are to love our neighbor “as ourselves,” then it must be crucial that we do indeed possess self-love. If we put ourselves down or neglect our most basic physical or emotional needs, we would not be a good model for how we are to treat our fellow human beings. Slowly my understanding of this verse began to change. How do we love ourselves? Well, we make sure that we have enough to eat. We take care to see that we have clothes to wear. We make sure we are sheltered. We seek self-respect and safety, security, and significance. We nurture our important relationships. And then we realize that these are the same things we should make sure our neighbor has. When we love ourselves, we can see that God calls us to love others in the same way. Still, it can be difficult to strike a balance. Sometimes we think too little of ourselves. Other times we may think of ourselves too much, leaving very little time to reach out and to love others. How can we properly address both problems at the same time: the problem of self-loathing and the problem of self-love? The answer lies within the passage we have just visited. Look back at what Jesus declares is the greatest commandment of all: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. — Matthew 22:37 Learning to manage the tension between putting ourselves first and thinking of the needs of others happens when we put loving God at the very top of our “How to Live” list. If we truly love God with our hearts and souls and minds, we will want to get to know Him through the pages of Scripture. We will long to spend time with Him in prayer. We will hunger to get to know His heart and mind as we seek to discover His will for our lives. And as we interact with God through prayer and experience His heart through studying the Scriptures, we will learn how to live properly. We will learn that thinking of ourselves with a proper perspective and reaching out in love to others always go together. And when we live in this manner, we will be able to maintain the purpose I learned as a young Christian: to go about our days strengthening our relationship with God as we look forward to eternity, but also being on the lookout for ways to share Christ with others so that they may spend eternity in Heaven with Him as well. All of this takes place within the context of relationships. Perhaps I got my little philosophy assignment correct. Maybe relationships are the highest good in life — with others here on Earth, but most importantly with God.

[ao3feed-crowley]

My 9 to 5 is Cutting Open Old Scars

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DuCEQy

by TheGirlWithThePuffHat

Guess who’s feeling like writing some miserable Crowley feels? About after “you go too fast for me”? Me. That’s who. This was one hundred percent self indulgent, but I figured I might as well put it up here.

Or:

“The thermos, humming in Crowley’s fingers as though it was alive, became mundane, became irrelevant, became invisible, because—

You. You’re my holy water.

You destroy me.”

Words: 4022, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Scene: Soho 1967 (Good Omens), Post-Scene: Soho 1967 (Good Omens), Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens), Holy Water, Sad Crowley (Good Omens), Angsty Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Contemplates Stuff, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Crying Crowley (Good Omens), because let’s be real i can’t write a fic without crowley crying, I'm Sorry, Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale Is Trying (Good Omens), Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens), but in a good way yaknow, because, Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens), that’s not relevant why did i tag that, Finley Cannot Tag, where is my holy trinity of fic tags, AH YES, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together, Oh look, title is a fall out boy lyric, Again, Author Would Like To Confirm Their Obsession With Fall Out Boy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not much plot, mostly crowley being a dramatic poetic shit, Crowley Being Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Author is Asexual, Angst with a Happy Ending, maybe? - Freeform, the happy ending is definitely there but i don’t know if it counts as angst, what did aziraphale mean by “you go too fast for me”, Author Projecting onto Crowley (Good Omens), The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Making Out in the Bentley (Good Omens), I Wrote This While Listening To Fall Out Boy, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, i wrote this as a form of procrastination, no beta we saunter vaguely downwards like Crowley, poetic crowley, POV Crowley (Good Omens), what the FUCK it’s like theres more tags than fic, oh well, YOLO, Internal Monologue, lots of crowley thoughts, Abuse of italics, Italics, Touch-Starved Crowley (Good Omens)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DuCEQy