#might have to rewatch the movies sometime this week

[tviirus]

hmmmmmmm

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[eponymous-rose]

A little thing I'm also really appreciating in this rewatch of TNG is something that seems to have all but disappeared in the age of tightly plotted, entirely serialized eight-episode miniseries TV: little slice-of-life moments that don't serve any driving plot purpose except to flesh out the world a little bit.

The scene with Picard's hairdresser earnestly telling him how he should better have handled diplomatic relations with the Romulans doesn't serve a deep narrative purpose in the sense of echoing the themes of the episode or foreshadowing some important moment with that hairdresser. It's there to share a little picture of the world - yes, there are still hairdressers in the future, yes, there's still awkward small-talk with said hairdressers. There's also the nice little reminder in all these domestic scenes that normal life is happening aboard the Enterprise, families and all, which adds to the sense of danger when the ship's in peril and paints the moments of war and conflict as uncomfortable juxtapositions. It's not there to serve the plot, it's there to build the world. And the characters! Picard's mostly-polite demurs, the reveal that Riker has been 100% humoring this guy like "oh man, we should've thought of that, you're so right". There's no reason to include it beyond reveling in the world.

I really miss that about a lot of modern TV - we get these needle-sharp hard dives through a world, coherent and concise and often quite lovely, but trying to take in the scope of the world around that plot is like watching out the window of a fast-moving train: you're getting nothing more than vague impressions at a remove. It's the difference between a guided tour of a museum and a self-guided tour: sometimes, at some museums, you just want to meander around a bit at your own pace and let it wash over you.

Given the choice, I'll almost always fall deeper in love with a show that's criticized for "filler" or "monster of the week" because I know it'll give its characters and its universe time to grow. That's what drew me to TV in the first place - I adore movies, but there's only so much you can do with character and world in 2-3 hours. Lately a lot of TV seems to be seen as a rather long movie with the odd break where you get up to make popcorn midway through. I think there's something unique about the format of television that's being lost in this attempt to emulate the structure of a movie, in the same way that some novels feel like they might as well just have been novellas or short stories. It's not just a longer version of the same thing. It has the potential to be something entirely different.

Give me the bloated 20-odd-episode seasons of the 90s and 00s, where characters grew and changed slowly, by inches, and we had the time to change along with them. I love the new stuff, don't get me wrong, but I sure miss that specific brand of mess.

[nanowrimo]

Write Meow! 4 Writing Tips Cats Teach Us

Did you know cats have a lot of wisdom about the writing process? It's because of their cat lifestyles! NaNo Participant Megan Jenkins lets us know what our wise cat friends can teach us about writing.

“Cats are too human-like,” my friend complained while explaining to my cat-lady-self why she’s a dog person. I laughed, but after pondering my cat’s behavior, I realized just how much cats can teach us about becoming a better human, and more importantly, a better writer. (Arguably.)

Here are a few writing lessons we can learn from cats.

1. Have a Routine

As someone who rolled her eyes at this advice for years, I still cannot believe that my cat hoodwinked me into a morning routine. 

My cat was right though. 

Writing for 15 minutes during my cat’s breakfast has me writing more than ever before. While 15 minutes may not seem like a lot, giving yourself prompts for the next session and having consistent sessions helps you accomplish more than you would think.

Also, cats are great accountability partners. If you stray from their routine, they will meow loudly and slap you with their paw. (Or is that just my cat?)

2. Take Breaks

Before my cat, my writing process was to write for hours at a time on a random weekend day. This process was exhausting and made me feel like I had to block an entire day for writing, which is becoming increasingly impossible. 

However, cats inherently know the importance of taking breaks and stepping away from screens, which is why they sit in front of our keyboards and computers when we spend too much time on them (I assume). 

One way to remember to take breaks is to participate in writing sprints, in which writers write together for a set time. 

For any fellow introverts, the Pomodoro Technique, in which you work for 25 minutes then break for 5 minutes with a longer break after four rounds, has been shown to increase productivity. 

You might hesitate to try sprints or Pomodoro like I did because you love to emerge yourself in your writing for hours. However, I have found that both methods have built my endurance, allowing me to write longer. 

Plus, the frequent breaks to entertain my cat prevent her from hijacking my keyboard. 

3. Prioritize Meals

Cats are grazers, meaning they eat several small meals throughout the day, which they do not like to miss. 

Unlike my cat, I skipped meals all the time. I couldn’t be like Pippin in The Lord of the Rings asking for second breakfast while on an important quest!

However, modeling my cat, I now prioritize my eating. While it may not work for everyone, eating throughout the day gives me energy to write after work, not just rewatch The Lord of the Rings.

Since you are likely not on a quest to eliminate all evil, try prioritizing eating, like cats (and hobbits) do, and see how it impacts your writing. 

4. Focus on the Present

Do you sometimes focus so much on the past or the future that you forget about the present? I do. With NaNoWriMo especially, I tend to over-plan and dwell on any minor failures. 

Cats don’t do this. Cats live in the present, and while cats learn from their past, they do not dwell on their failures or worry about the future. Instead, cats deal with problems when they arise.

Similarly, do not torture yourself if you have a bad writing day (or week or month) or worry about every what-if. Instead, use the past to improve your current writing session.

As NaNoWriMo begins, I hope what I have learned from cats’ behavior helps remind you to have a healthier relationship with writing, which is ultimately the goal of NaNoWriMo. Besides the 50k.

Megan is a business risk and control advisor at a financial institution. The rest of her time, she spends dreaming of fantastical places. Her love for language led her to obtain a BA in English with a concentration in professional writing and an MA in Technical Communication and Rhetoric. When she is not writing, reading, or editing, she also enjoys traveling, watching movies, and spending time with her family and cat, Sophie. Connect with her on Linkedin or Goodreads!

Photo by Pixabay

[the-s1lly-corner]

Prompts 1, 2, 8, and 10 with Brahms

And with most of the prompts done with Jason, at least with the current list, its time to move on to the next slasher.. need to rewatch the boy. Loved the first movie, second movie almost killed my joy for it. Idk what it was I just. Did not like the 2nd movie

MUTUAL PINING

ONE BED TROPE

Crawls into bed with you, very casually. He might ask first, if hes feeling polite.. but most of the time he doesnt. Expects cuddles, so you better at least snuggle into his back. Warm, very warm. Hairy, though, so a little itchy. Is not a morning person, will try to keep you in bed for as long as possible until finally letting you get a start on your chores for the day. If you let him sleep with you once it quickly turns into him sleeping with you a few times a week

SICK

He is sooo.... needy when hes sick. More so than he already is, hes going to be stuck in bed. It's going to take some convincing to get him to stay in one of the beds inside the house instead of staying his in his "bedroom"... just for easier access to him. Constantly asks for you to come see him because hes bored and just wants a distraction from the terrible pressure in his sinuses. Reluctant to let you go out to town to pick up medicine and soup, but ultimately let's you go because the discomfort is just so much. Gets genuinely upset when the things you get him dont immediately help relieve his symptoms.. HAAAAATES when one side of his nose is stuffy and the other isnt. Terrible sensory feeling, I'll tell you that. Even worse if it happens to your ears

You both have crushes on each other! Brahms probably already knows, if you've written it down somewhere in a journal. Hes either snooped or watched you write it. Does that still count as snooping..? He lets the fact that you like him back get to his head, prompting him to tease you a little more and be more bold just to get a reaction out of you and make you spend even more time with him, or just to see you turn red. You notice that behavior, he wants your attention more than ever now and even slinks out of the walls to spend time with you.. and oddly enough he seems jealous of the doll, sometimes putting it to the side so he can be the one taken care of

SHARING CLOTHES

He steals your clothes literally all of the time. It doesn't matter that he very likely can't fit into him (hes a pretty big dude! The actor is 6'3!) He just likes having your stuff around in his space because it brings him comfort. Just.. try not to get mad, it's only going to either make him double down or give you the cold shoulder.. on a similar note hes probably going to steal your body sprays, either snagging a few sprays for himself or taking the entire bottle

[obsessedelusional]

Oblivious

paring ✦ Bella Ramsey x fem!reader

summary ✦ Bella and you have been friends for a few years now. Didn’t take long for them to a form a crush on you. While visiting after not seeing you for a while, they decide it’s time to come clean about their feeling. Too afraid, they keep dropping hints. What happens when Bella finally finds the courage to tell you?

word count ✦ 2,000ish

authors note ✦ THANKS for all the love <33

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

“So who’s your celebrity crush then?” Bella asks her best friend of years, intentionally after talking openly about their celebrity crush. You share a striking resemblance too, hoping maybe this information would spark something in you. Your too oblivious to connect the dots.

“Hmm…. Right now?” You pause in a attempt to shuffle through all the random celebrities you’ve found attractive.

“Probably Kristen Stewart.” Bella is surprised by you answer.

“Kristen Stewart?” They ask, slack jawed.

“Yeah I rewatched all the twilight movies last week. I used to be team Edward but now I think I’m team Bella. It’s actually absurd that we let those men get away with everything they did.” You explain, going off on a tangent about Twilight. Bella half listens, trying to understand if you said Kristen because you might be gay or because you liked twilight.

“She has a whole ass fiancé, I’m shit out of luck.” You sigh dramatically before going back to your phone. Bella forces a laugh, more confused than when they started this conversation.

“But doesn’t matter, I got my own Bella.” You tease with a wink unknowingly adding to Bella’s distress.

“Edward was a creep, a whole ass stalker. Imagine if she woke up when Edward broke in to bedroom to watch her sleep. If my boyfriend did that shit, he’d get kicked to the curb so quick.” Bella groans out loud on accident causing you to look up from your phone.

“Okay I know you don’t like him but-“ You speak quickly interrupted.

“Yeah cause he’s a dick. Way worse than Edward Cullen ever was.”

“First of all, you’ve never seen twilight. Second of all, I don’t think you’ve ever liked anyone I’ve ever dated.” You respond, your tone sassy. Bella doesn’t respond only because she cannot pretend why she’s never liked your new boyfriends. Your “love” for them never lasted long, moving onto the next one with ease. They wished desperately you’d forget about the male population as a whole.

“It’s because I like you.” Bella says, not entirely registering the words as they come out.

“I like care about you, you deserve someone better.” Nice save, Bella thinks. Internally screaming to themself you deserve them.

“Aww I like care about you,” you respond sarcasm heavy on your voice, eyes on your phone. Bella rolls her eyes in response. That’s one thing Bella loved so badly about you, you were just as sarcastic and could always banter with you. More often than not they couldn’t keep up with your attitude.

Bella was in town for a few weeks, break between their filming. She had missed you so much the l last few months, promising her self she was gonna do something about it this time. When it’s time for the two of you to part, Bella steals on you hoodies.

“Where the fuck are you going with that?” You ask mostly joking, when you notice.

“I want it,” Bella argues. Not wanting to admit that she’s been stealing from you on the low. Just taking little things, now and then. Nothing you’d ever miss but it means everything to Bella. To have a piece of you while she’s off on her job related adventures. Sometimes even using your shirt as a pillow case when they really miss you.

—

Bella had a plan to tell you how they felt the next day. Before you spring going to a party’s with you. Bella was older than you, you just graduated high school. Still caught up in the high school bullshit. Thankfully they were visiting during your summer vacation before you headed off to university.

“These are for you.” Bella barley whispers, handing you the bouquet of flowers. Your favorite ones. After you sprung the party on them, they decided they’d just do it before. Maybe it would be enough to convince you to stay in with them instead.

“Thanks bestie,” you respond. Bestie? Bella groans internally, discouraged by your friendly pet name. Chickening out on their original plans, mentally throwing out the monologue they had planned for you.

“I saw them and thought of you.” Bella admits.

Once in Bella’s car, they purposefully play Jenny by Studio Killers. Signing along passionately, hoping maybe you’d hear the lyrics and they’d resonate with you. The songs about a girl having a crush on her best friend. You just nod along, never commenting on the subject of it. Bella doesn’t show it but they irritation is growing. Wanting nothing more than to spill their feelings for you, always coming up short when it’s time to do so.

—

“Do we really have to go?” Bella whines only to stop when you grab their hand and pull them closer to the door. Once at the door, you face Bella your back to the door.

“It’s just a little kickback, maybe 20 people tops. You’ll be okay! I’ll be by your side the whole time. I promise.” You reassure Bella and they let out a defeated sigh. A small laugh leaves your mouth bringing a smile to Bellas. The door swings open, some dude from your school attempting to leave. He pushes past the two of you, not saying a single word.

“Rude.” You mutter under you breath, leading Bella inside. Finding some of your friends, introducing them to Bella. Bella’s wondering what the fuck she’s doing here? Oh yeah because you asked and that’s all it took. They couldn’t say no especially when you start pouting, eyes staring directly into Bella’s.

“Sorry I really thought it’d be smaller.” You apologize to Bella some time later, the two of you sat in a group of friends and strangers. Bella doesn’t drink so you don’t either, watching everyone get drunk without the two of you.

“We should do something. Play a game.” Someone suggests, everyone agrees.

“We should play spin the bottle.” Some suggests, most people agree. You look over to Bella who’s shaking their head no.

“I think I’ll sit this one out.” Bella says, standing up going to sit out of the group. Still close enough to be part of the conversation but not in the immediate circle.

“You playing?” Some drunk dude asks you. You look over to Bella who just gives you a smile.

“I guess so.” You say, thinking it’ll be a funny story to tell someday.

“Fuck yeah,” he responds. You sit and wait as one of your friends finds a bottle lays in the center of the group all while explains the rules. A player spins the bottle, and must kiss the person to whom the bottle points when it stops spinning. You watch as people take turns, watching as people kiss. Most kisses only last a few seconds. It’s almost your turn, the girl before you spins the bottle. Landing on the boy next to you, she giggles before reaching over you to kiss him. Their kiss is more aggressive than the others, lasting much longer. People cheering them on as they continue.

“I don’t think I’m gonna live up to that performance.” You joke, as they pull away from each other. Nervously you spin the bottle, following it with your eyes as it spins in a circle. It lands on a girl, you barley know. Before you can say anything people are chanting for y’all to just do it.

“I mean if she’s down I’m down.” The girl shrugs her shoulders, looking at you for a response.

“Sure?” you say and for whatever reason it comes out as a question. She starts crawling towards you, when she’s only a few inches away from your face a voice interrupts the moment.

“What about your boyfriend?” It’s Bella speaking. She didn’t care about your boyfriend, using that as an excuse to make you not want to participate in this game anymore.

“What about him? Like you said he’s a dick.” You respond, looking back at the girl sat in front of you waiting for a kiss. Cheering resumes as you two get closer.

“Absolutely not.” Bella speaks over the loud noises, pulling you from the floor with a strength you didn’t know existed. Dragging you through the crowd, straight out the front door. Sounds of booing is all you can hear as you leave.

“What the fuck was that?” You ask, once Bella lets go of you hand. Bella paces back and forth, it’s obvious they want to say something but can’t get it out.

“You’re my best friend. I couldn’t let you do that.” Bella speaks, pacing coming to a stop to face you.

“Actually I don’t want to be your friend anymore.” Bella says, breaking your heart.

“All because I was going to kiss that girl?” You ask, arms crossed over your chest.

“Oh my fucking god. Do you listen like ever? How much more obvious do I have to be?” They ask, louder than before.

“What-“ Your cut off by Bella’s hands cupping your face in swift motion affectionately placing their lips on yours, you move your lips with theirs. Letting your arms fall to your sides. You’re the one to pull away, overwhelmed by all the feelings that came out in that moment.

“I understand if you’re mad at me. But I would of rather died than watch you have your first kiss with a woman not be me.” Bella says before you can fully process what just happened.

“I ruined our friendship.” They say, attempting to read your reaction but your speechless unable to comprehend.

“No you didn’t,” you respond.

“I want to ruin our friendship. I like you.” Bella speaks.

“I like you too.”

“No I like like like you.” Bella says, emphasizing on the last two likes.

“Do you listen like ever?” You ask, mocking their tone when they said that you moments ago.

“I like you.” You say again, emphasis on like. Bella’s eyes narrow on you, looking you in your eyes.

“So if I kissed you again? You wouldn’t stop?” They smirk.

“I don’t know, try me.” You tease, chewing on your lip. They do exactly that, pulling you into their embrace before kissing you for the second time.

—

After a heavy make out session, in the front lawn of that party you guys head back to Bella’s car. This time they open your door, something Bella has never done before. Stealing a kiss in the process then making their way to the drivers side. Once in there’s a silence between you two, sinking in what just happened. They make the drive home, no words are exchanged. Half way there, their hand rests on your thigh giving it a squeeze before going back to driving. You don’t even realize until it’s too late to turn back but Bella’s pulling into their apartment. This was not the original plan but plans change. Parking in their normal parking space.

“How long have you had feelings?” You ask as soon as the car shuts off.

“Oof,” they think out loud.

“Since forever basically.” They admit.

“Same.” You admit causing Bella’s jaw to drop.

“There’s absolutely no way that is possible.” Bella says, not believing you in the slightest.

“We met right before your career really started to take off. I didn’t think it was right to throw that on you while you were out there living your best life.” You explain.

“My best life would of been you by my side, I can’t believe we wasted so many years.” Bella sighs, frustrated.

“We’ll I guess we’re just gonna have to make up for lost time,” You smile, intertwining your fingers with theirs. Playing with the rings they always wore, something you loved about them.

“We better get started, only have two weeks and six days to make up for three years.” Bella grins before instructing you to get out of the car. You do so and Bella meets you outside of the passenger door. Pushing you softly into the side of the car, kissing you in the process. Hands waisting no time explore your body, taking you by surprise. You had never imagined Bella being so forward.

“Where’s this boldness coming from?” You ask when you pull away to breath.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said, we need to make up for all those lost years.” They grin, leading you towards their front door. Your excitement grows as they lead you toward their bedroom, ready to let Bella do whatever they want.

[aihoshiino]

Hey there! Love your analyses of Ai and ao3 fanfics! They're so good and you always bring interesting points to the table! I want to know your thoughts on something (it's possible that I sent this ask a while back but I have a feeling it never came through lol, my Tumblr/Internet be broken sometimes): In chapter 140 (not 100% canon, but I think the brought up subjects still resonate), page 5, Hikaru says that the student should come to the teacher, while Ai says don't just invite a man to your house. Do you think this has a link with their traumas? It also makes me wonder why exactly Ai would say something like that. Could it have a link with Ayumi's boyfriend (="man") that ogled her? I would like to know your thoughts on how this boyfriend would've affected Ai, her image on men or just relationships/sex in general. Would it even have a big impact on those factors? Thank you for your thoughts!

Thank you so much! 💜 Looking at my inbox I do think Tumblr just ate it the first time you sent this….. Functional webbed site……………..

Honestly it's so hard to know what to make of those HikaAi movie scenes in general but especially off the back of Hikaru being like "fake and gay lol" about it. The characterization feels additive and consistent with the real Ai and Hikaru but at least one of these scenes was written by an author who had literally never met them. And while they do communicate things to us about their respective baggage, it's complicated by the fact that this is in-universe fiction written by an in-universe author. So it's like - is this characterization Aka Akasaka is trying to communicate to us or characterization Yoriko Kichijouji is trying to communicate to the audience of 15 Year Lie? Both? It's a mess!

THAT SAID, Hikaru's "fake and gay lol" is explicitly challenged and undermined by the narrative and the whole point of the confrontation is slapping him with the fact that (among other things), he doesn't understand Ai half as well as he thinks he does. With that in mind and given that it doesn't directly contradict anything else we know about the real Ai, we can probably treat it as true enough for the purposes of using it as jumping off points for discussion.

I don't think Kamiki's line is super important on its own as its really just the setup for Ai's response - so the talk as a whole is really more about communicating things about Ai to us, through Hikaru's POV. And I think strictly in this context, Ai's line there is less to do with her mom and her experience growing up in Ayumi's house (I actually got the impression that the movie barely touched on that stuff? but I could be wrong) and more about her like… responding to other people's expectations without necessarily fully understanding them. I do think the specific way she phrases it is probably parroting something Ayumi may have said to her though - similarly to the way she calls her past self a 'nasty brat' in the Da Vinci interview which was just like… so pointed and unkind I can only assume it was something Ayumi called her in the past that just burrowed its way into her brain forever like that shit does.

Overall, it's part of a much broader pattern of behaviour on Ai's part of, as I've described it to friends, performing normalcy to the point of abnormality. She imitates the end of the "normal behaviour" process tree without understanding or following any of the steps that get there. I can't believe I'm reaching for this reference lol but I was rewatching a bunch of CJ the X vids last week and in their essay about Cat Valentine from the show Victorious, they describe some of the (certainly accidental) neurodivergent coding in Cat's character in a way that really pinged me as also speaking to the way Ai is also (much more intentionally) coded:

"[…] There's a big difference between following social procedure naturally and Attempting To Behave As One Might Act. […] She mimics convention, while fundamentally misinterpreting what part of convention is important in the first place."

That's really the cornerstone to a lot of Ai's behaviour - the combo of her social isolation and her neurodivergence means that she does not have the same frame of reference that most other people absorb from their peers and families as they grow up. So instead she just sort of… looks at the people around her, figures out what successful social interactions look like from the outside, and tries to replicate that to varying degrees of success.

Her argument with Nino is probably my favourite example of this - Nino is all but screaming at her to have a normal fucking human being conversation with her and Ai just sits there like ^_^ Nooooo don't be insecure your so sexy aha. no wonder nino wanted to kill her with a brick HGSJSSKS. And like - from an outsider perspective, you can see exactly why this happens! This is basically Ai short-circuiting because none of her usual scripted responses are resolving this situation. She defaults to the fawning response because she doesn't know what else to do, even though it should be clear it's making the issue worse.

It would be sooooo easy to just make this a one sided instance of Nino being cruel to her but it's really just the inevitable and unavoidable conclusion of Ai's instincts towards avoidance and fear of vulnerability. And it's not Ai's FAULT she's like that. it's learned behaviour. she is the way she is because allowing herself to be sincere and vulnerable only ever gets her hurt, but it still hurts her and the people around her as a result (like with Kamiki).

oh my god i'm like 5k words in and i haven't even touched the question you directly asked LSKDJKSSK. I MEAN, I ASSUME AT THIS POINT PEOPLE SEND ME ASKS LIKE THIS KNOWING THE RISKS OF GETTING AN ESSAY IN RETURN…

ANYWAY, I definitely think Ai's experiences growing up in Ayumi's house (incl. ayumi's pedo boyfriend lmao) were a huge part of why she ends up with such an utterly fucked concept of love and relationships. When I see people talking about this aspect of her character, I feel like it gets downplayed because the series itself is more about her life as an idol but her childhood is the literal foundation of everything that follows - Ai becomes an idol because she wants to know how to love people and be loved in return and the reason she's never experienced that is because of how Ayumi raised her and how she failed to protect Ai from and properly respond to Ai's narrow brush with that type of victimization.

It's hard to really say exactly how this specific incident impacted her with how little we know about how all that went down, but I definitely think it was part of a pretty consistent pattern in her childhood of having failed/toxic relationships modeled for her - there was All That with Ayumi's boyfriend but we also know that Ai's biodad was not in a relationship with Ayumi at the time Ai was growing up and that she saw him pretty infrequently. It's not hard for me to imagine that Ai's kind of wishywashy confusion as to wtf marriage even is expressed in 45510 is the result of seeing dogshit relationship after dogshit relationship fall apart in her formative years. And I definitely think The Incident (& Ayumi's reaction to it - she herself admits her behavior escalated as a result) probably planted the seed in Ai's brain of her being like… more aware of sex than she should have been at the age she was?

In fact, ironically, Hikaru's line about 'giving your body to body to receive love' was actually how I've always interpreted Ai - pretty much the entire time I've been brainrotted about her, my interpretation has always been that Hikaru was not her first boyfriend or sexual partner and that she had probably run through a couple of extremely fast burning short term relationships before they met.that escalated to physical intimacy very quick and burned out just as fast.

I don't necessarily have a ton of capital-E Evidence for this other than a line or two in the series and also just Vibes. Not only can abuse and neglect in childhood lead to premature sexual behaviour in teens (as a sort of attention/intimacy seeking mechanism) but Akane specifically pegs Ai as having obvious emotional imbalances typical of a person who engages in this kind of early sexual behaviour, but then notes that it settled down after she turned 15 and notes 'did she meet someone nice?', implicitly tying her improvement in behaviour to Kamiki - but then of course, that means her destructive behaviour can't have been the result of sleeping with him. In addition, the TL that was available for the manga when I was getting back into the series had Ai refer to Kamiki as an ex during their phonecall, implying she had more than one.

This is one of those things where like… if you are normal about this character it probably doesn't really matter but unfortunately for everyone else i'm insane ;SKFLSNMSLSMKA So stuff like this is really interesting for me to dig into. One of the things I find really fascinating about Ai that mostly exists in subtext and idk how intentional it even was on Akasaka's part is this sense of internalized shame and even disgust she has directed at her own body and sexuality. She calls herself 'dirty' and 'impure', and her final words to Ryosuke are her more or less apologizing to him for that - and idk, I think that aspect of her character (and OnK's ongoing refutations that Ai being 'dirty' in this way is in any way something she should have been rebuked or punished for) is that much more interesting if all that is the case vs the more straightforward and "pure" (for lack of a better word) version of events where she met Hikaru and they fell in love and had sex… if that makes sense.

Honestly Ai's relationship with like, sex and intimacy and sex in the context of a loving relationship being healing and reclaiming for her is one of those things I have so much fun writing in the context of RP and stuff but if I continued rambling about it here I would go on all day lol and this post is already so long. IN ANOTHER ASK, PERHAPS……..

[richeeduvie]

Hi! Funny that you mention Papa Frank, I recently rewatched Father of the Bride and it's my comfort sick movie and Kieran Culkin is so cute in that movie.

My headcanon is that when Roman was around 8 he spent the entire summer with Baby and Frank( it was probably that Frank got custody) it was definitely the time Roman got to be a normal kid. My vision was he stayed there until the first day of school and as he got there Shiv and Kendall remembered he had been with her and what was supposed to be a couple of weeks turned into the whole summer vacations and in petty jealousy they told their parents and got sent home🤭

"Roman, you don't have to stuff the whole thing down. It's not going anywhere."

Roman's habit of eating anything Baby makes like it'll disappear has existed for awhile. They made a cake with Frank. It was fun and eventually, Roman stops with the hard, child glaring at his friend's not father and does enjoy the baking experience.

He stares, though, when Frank holds Baby up over the stove, they're making mix from scratch in a saucepan and the Roy boy doesn't think he's seen anything so...soft? He's not even her dad dad, but Roman's never been held like that. And she's giggling a lot. She giggles all the time during the summer, so does he. Frank can be funny sometimes.

Shiv wants to kill her big brother, although he doesn't know it. His months have been too busy with Frank and Baby going to things. Water parks (with exclusive passes), trips into nature. Into Frank's plane. They couldn't really go outside New York - away from Logan and Waystar because Frank's also Waystar but they spent many nights just staying in a big house, houses for movies and boardgames.

What Frank thought kids liked. At the time, he thought he was learning quickly and well with how Baby existed as a little girl.

Frank in present will never bring it up to an adult Roman, but he thought it was sweet when the boy fell asleep on his shoulder, Baby on the other.

Shiv wants to kill her big brother.

"It's not fair!"

"Shivvy, calm down-"

"Why does he get to go? He's almost been gone for the whole summer and he's a boy! He's having a forever sleepover with her? Dad's friend is stupid! Roman's stupid! I know he's going to rub it in my face. We need to tell Dad."

"Why do you think he doesn't know?"

"Because he doesn't care. But let's tell him! Or Mom."

It's not sure how Logan or Caroline didn't come to really realize or care that their son was away for so long. But it's not surprising.

Shiv breathed out hard, little as she was. Kendall scratched his head when she punched her fist into her bed.

"We did lots of cool stuff this Summer, right?"

"Not with Frank. Mr. Frank. I didn't my friend all Summer because he's stupid."

Roman's happy, child and boy bliss when he arrives to school in a different car than Shiv. With Baby.

"Isn't it weird Roman isn't here?"

"It's good for a boy to get out and gain independence away from the home. Even out a young age. You might get it one day too."

She rolled her eyes at the memory of Caroline and the sight of them.

She's going to tell Mom and Dad she saw them kissing. But she'll have to be super sneaky about it, because Shiv doesn't want Baby to think she got her in trouble. It's just not fair.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Desert Hearts rewatch notes

Desert Hearts (1985) is one of my favorite movies, but as with most of my favorites, I've gone quite a while without seeing it at times. I put it on the other day for the first time in years and took some screenshots in the hope that I might get some folks on here to give it a try that haven't, or at least bring back some memories for those who’ve seen it before. Then, when I sat down to post the images, I found I had more to say than I realized.

This was my first time watching this movie since I got into the whole BL/QL genre and I was curious to see if it would seem any different to me after a period of being more immersed in queer stories than usual. Mostly it swept me up into its own world, something this film is really good at. But I did find myself thinking at times about how aspects of it mapped onto QL tropes and more general romance tropes. I also couldn't help but see some parallels to the actual lived experiences of myself and people I know.

Queer romance tropes in Desert Hearts

Three tropes stood out at me that I've run into in the QL world, some of which I've seen in hetero romance settings as well.

Fish out of water - Vivian goes from her life as an academic in New York City to staying at a ranch outside Reno in pursuit of a "quick" divorce. (Having to spend six weeks in a strange place in order to get a divorce was "quick" by 1959 standards.) Helen Shaver, who played Vivian, points out in a featurette included with the Criterion version of the movie that Vivian has been living a very cerebral life, living inside her own head while cutting herself off from her body from the neck down. This radical change of scenery is exactly what she needs to be able to open up to something different.

There’s a similar dynamic at play in hetero fish-out-of-water romances. But I find this trope a lot more interesting in a queer context. Queer identities have a more complex relationship to difference. Among other things, characters who seem to be at home in the environment of the story often turn out to be alienated from it due to others’ perceptions of their sexuality.

Age gap (with the younger person pursuing) - Cay, who is ten years Vivian's junior, is definitely the pursuer here. This isn't a specifically queer trope per se, but it can manifest in some specific ways in queer love stories.

LGBTQ+ identity can put people on unusual timelines in their lives. (This is an idea I first ran into in a book by Jack Halberstam in undergrad.) Sometimes this means being in a more "youthful" mode later in life than cishet people. Other times it means being a particular kind of late bloomer. And so on. So with life stages not conforming to typical expectations, what does it mean to love someone you have a significant age difference with?

In the case of Vivian and Cay, Vivian may be older, but Cay is poised to initiate her into practices and feelings that are pretty familiar for Cay and totally, mind-blowingly new to Vivian. This creates a kind of role reversal. At the same time, Cay has never felt this way about a partner before, so in many ways, their relationship is causing her to have some new and intense experiences as well.

The thing where a character figures out their sexuality for the first time because their feelings toward a love interest act as a catalyst - This is certainly a trope that comes up in stories about queer romance, but it's more debatable whether it's a queer trope in the sense of a trope that is used by and resonates with queer people. I guess I'd say the theme comes up in different ways when a story is very geared toward the "straight gaze" and when it's more authentically queer. With the "straight gaze" version you get things like "gay for you." With more authentic versions, well, I don't think I've noticed many commonalities there. But I will always defend the use of this trope when it's done well in a way that centers queer experience, if only because falling for a specific person is exactly what forced me to come to terms with my own sexuality.

Side note: Speaking of coming to terms with my sexuality, it really is an indication of how deeply in denial I was about my bisexuality in college that seeing this movie for a class didn't help me figure it out. I was deeply affected by it and fixated on it for weeks after seeing it, but it didn't get through the thick shell of obliviousness I had built up around myself.

A connection to personal experience

There are quite a few ways that Desert Hearts resonates with my own experience but one really stood out to me this time around. [Spoilers ahead.] When Cay goes to see Vivian at the hotel where she’s staying after she leaves the ranch, she goes for a last-ditch, Hail Mary move—she takes off her clothes and climbs into Vivian’s bed. At first Vivian tells her to leave, but then she softens a bit, clearly interested but conflicted. Then this moment happens.

I related to this so much. When I fell in love with a someone who was (at that time) presenting as a woman and it started to look like I might actually have a chance, I had so much anxiety about whether and how I could be intimate with my crush and whether I’d be able to “perform” decently. It turns out, as we learned when we compared notes sometime later, we had each had the same worry and we’d both bought an instructional book about lesbian sex (I think it may even have been the exact same book!).

I think part of my anxiety back then stemmed from the prospect of starting from scratch with a new set of practices and skills after being acclimated to sex with men. It made me feel like I was off balance. But when I actually did get close to my crush, another, much more pleasant side to my inexperience came up. It turned out that not having a familiar script for what to do made me much more present and gave me a sense of freedom. I remember thinking that it was like going from traveling down the same old route to exploring a new place that we had to write our own maps for. And that was pretty exhilarating.

Soon after that relationship happened, I read Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde. There was a passage where Lorde described something very similar from her own life. In this passage, she’s reflecting after her first sexual encounter with a woman after having a similar set of anxieties.

So this was what I had been so afraid of not doing properly. How ridiculous and far away those fears seemed now, as if loving were some task outside of myself, rather than simply reaching out and letting my own desire guide me. It was all so simple.

She’s so amazing at evoking these feelings, isn’t she?

I can’t think of any other places I’ve seen this type of experience discussed besides these two. (I’m pretty sure others exist, but the fact that I haven’t come across them suggests there aren’t very many.) There are plenty of stories out there about hetero sex performance anxiety and its eventual resolution, but I think the queer version of this kind of learning has some big inherent differences that go way beyond the genders of partners being different. So it’s really nice to see it come up here, and be handled in such a sweet way.

In case you’re wondering, once Vivian is able to “let her own desire guide her,” in Lorde’s words, she also finds that her fears were misplaced. The resulting love scene is beautifully executed even by current standards. It’s even more remarkable to see it in a film that was released in 1985. It’s equally remarkable that this sex scene was shown in rather explicit detail.

about, by, and/or for?

I'm also thinking about this movie in terms of the for/by/about queers typology that @wen-kexing-apologist came up with a while back. In my estimation, Desert Hearts belongs right in the center of WKA's Venn diagram. It's about queers, of course. I'd also place it in the "by queers" category. The director, Donna Deitch, who also co-wrote the screenplay, is an out lesbian. It's not clear whether the other co-screenwriter was queer. Her personal life was mysterious enough that it seems like a definite possibility. And the movie is based (somewhat loosely) on a novel by Jane Rule, who was also an out lesbian and whose work as a writer was very focused on lesbian characters.

I'd also consider this movie to be "for queers." It was marketed to a wider audience, of course. But as I watched some of the bonus material and looked at writing about the movie, I saw a lot of evidence that Deitch made the film for her community and they embraced it.

Shaver had a really lovely story in the featurette I watched about this. I forget the exact nature of it, but she described how she attended some kind of event with Deitch and Charbonneau where the audience was full of queer women who gave them an incredibly long standing ovation that she found very moving and helped her see how impactful the film had been.

I’m also sure Deitch had queer viewers in mind (at least in part) when she set out to fill a glaring gap in Sapphic representation. In an interview with AfterEllen, Deitch said, “My goal was to make a lesbian love story that did not end in a bisexual love triangle or a suicide. Because that’s all that had been made at the time I set out to make Desert Hearts.” (Note: I’m not linking due to transphobia concerns regarding that site but folks should be able to find it easily if they look.)

In summary…

If you haven’t seen Desert Hearts yet I really can’t recommend it highly enough.

(And yes, that’s Denise Crosby from Star Trek: The Next Generation sitting beside Jeffrey Tambor.)

[commander-revan]

So, with the news of My Hero ending in a few weeks, I may have made some impulsive financial decisions. (Though in my defense they were on sale, and I never buy myself anything.)

I wanted to reread the series before the last chapter comes out, but I've only read My Hero on my phone through the Shonen Jump app, and I know the quality is better in the physical volumes since Horikoshi sometimes redraws certain panels and there's always extra illustrations and information in each volume, so I figured I might as well just get the entire series to have the best experience.

I'm planning on reading everything there is in the next few weeks, in as much as a chronological order as I can. I just finished Vigilantes this morning, so now I'll be starting the main series, and then between certain arcs I'll read the light novels, Team-Up Missions, and Smash, as well as any bonus chapters like the ones made for the movies. If I have time I'm also going to rewatch at least some arcs of the anime, and the movies.

I may have some serious complaints with how the series is ending so far, but My Hero means a lot to me, and I want to celebrate the good things about it before it all ends, and hopefully it'll end in a satisfying way. (Bring Tenko back and let the LoV live and find redemption, that's all I ask)

[b-skarsgard]

Credits and a very big thank you to @/TheCrowUpdates on IG&Twitter for sharing!

Someone was going to revisit The Crow.

We just didn't know who. Since 2008, fans of Alex Proyas' 1994 dark superhero movie - about a murdered rock musician back from the dead to seek revenge - have watched reports roll in about who was going to do it.

Names of possible stars were attached and detached before it was ever confirmed they were true: Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum, Mark Wahlberg (twice), Jason Momoa (that one got as far as leaked test footage). Potential directors included Blade's Stephen Norrington, 28 Weeks Later's Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, Corin Hardy, and more.

At one point in 2010, hopes were raised when there were rumours that Nick Cave was doing some form of script revision - The Crow is a graphic novel and a film that held music close to its goth black heart. For a while, everything went quiet. And then: someone actually revisited The Crow.

When Empire asks director Rupert Sanders why, after all these years, it was him, he laughs and says, "Tenacity." He adds, "Sometimes these things just have their time.

They work when they're supposed to work. I just feel that this was probably the right iteration." He also thinks it's a case of how it was made, not why: outside the studio system, for a fraction of the budget of current superhero movies, and far less than Sanders himself has worked with in the past (his first film, Snow White & The Huntsman, cost $180 million). "People are calling it a Hollywood remake and it's really not.

There's nothing to do with Hollywood in this movie at all — it's a very scrappy indie movie," he says. "[And] because of that, we were able to remain close to the centre and the darkness and the violence that's in the graphic novel. The only reason we could do that is because it's not a studio movie."

Given how fervently the fanbase protects the first movie, some might also add another word in addition to tenacity: bravery. This was the film in which Brandon Lee, playing Eric Draven, tragically lost his life in an accident on set with a prop gun at the age of 28. This was the film that wasn't just a film; it remains a hallowed target of worship. If you are of a certain age, you will remember how posters for The Crow hung for a weirdly long time in the video shop, how you wore out the soundtrack on your Walkman, how on more than one occasion someone told you that the set was cursed, actually. For some, the idea of revisiting The Crow is as impossible as waking the dead.

In order for Sanders to get it made, he had to sweep aside all of the cult-film baggage that came with the job. He ignored the "probably hundreds" of versions of the script that were floating around. He had to go right to the beginning and hatch his own bird.

James O'Barr's original telling (the character's self-titled miniseries ran February-May 1989), The Crow is a comic about revenge. Eric and his fiancée, Shelly, are assaulted by a gang of thugs after their car breaks down. Paralysed by a gunshot wound, Eric can only watch as she is raped and murdered in front of him, before later dying himself in hospital. When he is resurrected by a crow — those supernatural beings who can bring people back to put the wrong things right - he wreaks vengeance on those who hurt her. The idea all stemmed from an event in O'Barr's life: when he was 18, his fiancée was killed by a drunk driver.

He put the hate and other feelings on the page. O'Barr later said on stage at Comic-Con that the comic, to him, was a Cure song—Sanders was there at the time and heard him. It was an idea that stayed with him throughout the process. "[The Crow] has that kind of comfort of melancholy," he says. "There's something about listening to a Cure song that makes you feel that it's okay to feel how you're feeling."

Sanders didn't rewatch the 1994 film; he reread the graphic novel, once, and then let the ideas permeate. (Sanders is an art-school comic-book guy — he's been trying to to turn Charles Burns' Black Hole, a story about sexually transmitted, grotesque physical mutations in teenagers that renders them social outcasts, into a movie for 20 years.) He even made a Black Hole short film, and says it's the closest DNA in his work to The Crow - you can watch it on his website). He researched the spiritual history of crows across cultures: how they are believed to exist between worlds as messengers between the living and the dead, how they are both symbols of change and harbingers of death. But above all, what Sanders saw in The Crow was not a revenge story at all: he saw a tragic love story.

"We've all lost someone in life, or we all will lose someone in life, and we're all going to die. It was really about losing someone and being selfless in trying to get someone back."

For a love story to work, Sanders needed to find a man who could believably be both "tender and terrifying" — he couldn't cast the monster and work backwards. Having almost worked with Bill Skarsgård on another project that fell through (an adaptation of Tim O'Brien's Vietnam-war book, The Things They Carried), Skarsgård was already on Sanders' radar. When he mentioned the idea to the actor, Skarsgård needed very little convincing. But before he did his self-tape for the casting process, Skarsgard wanted to spend a week with Sanders exploring the character.

"That kind of dating phase was what I needed, to know that I really wanted to do the movie," says the actor. They swapped films, music, and YouTube videos, and worked together to get a sense of who this character is. Sanders suggested Skarsgärd watch Jacob's Ladder (Adrian Lyne's 1990 film about a Vietnam-war veteran suffering from horrifying hallucinations; Skarsgård loved it), a documentary on the SoundCloud rapper Lil Peep ("I wasn't really familiar with that world at all; it came after my teenage-rebellion years"), and a lot of documentaries about drug use and homelessness. It was all in aid of figuring out Eric's journey up until the point we meet him in the movie, when the suicidal man sees his salvation in the love of Shelly. We won't even see this backstory on screen.

In Stockholm, where he was born and still lives, in the depths of pandemic times, Skarsgård made his self-tape in a studio with some friends. There was no script yet, just a couple of scenes. For the final one, he performed it in traditional Crow make-up.

Did he apply it himself, as Brandon Lee does in the broken mirror? "Definitely not!" he laughs. "I had someone help me do it —a professional. I've been down that hole before where I've tried to do my own make-up. It turns out that my skill doesn't translate that well into that."

Skarsgård has also been here before with the white make-up, the cult favourite character, the weight of decades of history —he went through all of this playing Pennywise the clown in It. When asked if he felt the pressure of stepping into a role with so much noise around it, he speaks with the clarity of someone who has been bruised before but is now prepared (and knows to ignore the internet). "I think I would have been more hesitant if it felt really close to the original—but the fact that it felt so different from it, the separation of it [made it feel like I could] make this my own thing, as opposed to trying but failing at something that's already been done."

As soon as he took the job, Skarsgård "never thought about this as The Crow". He was interested in the psychology of the character of Eric — in his journey from suicidal, to saved, to nihilism. "That became very important to me — that it's not just a guy putting on make-up and thinking he's badass and saying catchy one-liners. This is someone who has lost everything, and the only thing that he has left is his hate. And hate is destructive. When he becomes this sort of superhero, he's become a monster that he doesn't want to be." Skarsgård buried himself in the psyche of the character, as he routinely does with every role, possibly to his detriment.

"Honestly, I don't know any other way of doing it," he says. "You have to go there. You do get a little bit consumed with that state of mind. I was kind of burned out at the end of it, for physical reasons, mental reasons, all of it. It was a lot."

But he says it was all worth it: all the hours of tattoo application, the nights submerged in a tank of syrup made to look like oil, and the time-consuming effort of trying to get the continuity of black tar blood-splatter just right. There is only one thing he would change if he could: his... entire body. When he came onto The Crow, Skarsgärd had just finished filming Boy Kills World, an action movie where he plays a martial-arts expert.

He was in insane shape. He was eating raw meat and training six days a week. "I felt very strange being in great shape for Eric as the person Eric, he says, after detailing the extreme training schedule and diet he kept over the nine months that spanned both films. "I wanted him to be really skinny!" he laughs. "He was not a person that worked out, ever. In a perfect world he would have been a lot less fit in the first half of the movie."

In the 1994 version of The Crow, Shelly is dead before the opening credits. The film opens with her, bloodied on a gurney in the rain (it can't rain all the time, but it does in this movie), being loaded into the back of an ambulance. In Shelly-POV flashbacks we see the faces of her violent, laughing rapists.

Shelly is not so much a character as a reason for The Crow to exist: a plot device to give our male hero something to avenge. This is something Sanders wanted to correct in his telling of the story. To him, Shelly was the "emotional engine" of the whole film. It needed a woman so "magical" that we would miss her like a vital organ when she was gone.

"Without us falling in love with her as he does, we can't go on that journey with him," he said. "We can't be complicit with what he does to gain her back." Sanders had only one person in mind for the role, someone otherworldly and haunting enough to carry it: the genreamorphous, avant-garde musician FKA Twigs.

"I felt honoured," says Twigs, on being asked to make such an impression in her first-ever starring role (prior to this, her only feature credit was in Alma Har'el's Honey Boy) and being given only a third of the film to do it in. "But at the same time, I really did know that I could do it."

She and Skarsgård met on a balcony in the hotel in Prague where Casanova used to stay.

They read lines, became friends, and soon Twigs was so invested in the story of Eric and Shelly that she was standing at the monitor on set, watching herself die, sad that their characters were being so cosmically ripped apart.

"[Sanders] would always look at me and be like 'Oh, I know, Twigs! They can't be together!' And I'd be like, 'But I want them to be together!'" she laughs. "He knows I have a real, genuine interest in their love and what love means to a lot of people in the world. I believe that we need more stories like this.

Where two people can love each other so wholly and so beautifully amidst so much darkness and uncertainty. That, to me, echoes almost what we're going through now."

Meanwhile, Danny Huston plays the bad guy in all of this - but he goes to great lengths to explain that unlike other battles between good and evil, the lines here aren't so clearly drawn. "It's messy, it's human, it's inky," he says, remaining mysterious about his character's true desire and identity. (Says Sanders: "The devilish people in your life are the most seductive, the most charming, and the most flattering. There's something about Danny that just really personifies that.")

Huston says the film reminds him most of Powell and Pressburger's A Matter Of Life And Death — "That would be the, uh, gentle version of our film," adds Sanders - in which love is tested in the hinterland between the living and the dead.

The character is fascinated by love in the manner of a demigod who is above it. "Love can be flawed. And it can be childish. It can be saccharin. It can mislead you," Huston says. "But yet, it's what makes mortals tick.

It's what makes them sacrifice. Is that enviable? I suppose it is, when you have never felt it."

Rupert Sanders' take on The Crow reportedly cost around $50 million. Not peanuts, but less money than is spent on your usual superhero outings. And a lower budget, like love, can come with sacrifice.

But the cast and crew were tenacious and brave enough to, in the words of Skarsgård, go there, wherever "there" was.

"It wasn't an easy journey, that's for sure," says Skarsgard. While the role took physical and mental tolls on its male lead, Twigs was willing to face her greatest fear to make it work: deep water. She spent days in the tank, with a nose peg on, trying to control her beating heart. Elsewhere, Sanders was inverting severed heads into plastic dummies to get two effects for the price of one, drawing in Eric's sketchbooks, throwing blood around the set, never sitting still. And when the crew's numbers dwindled in the final days of filming, it ended up being just Sanders with a camera, a light, and a guy with a crow on a leather glove. (The director says that crows - in spite of all their dark mythology — are good companions and lovely to work with.)

Later, when it was all over and Twigs saw the trailer, she was surprised. "When we were making the movie I didn't really have a sense of how magnificent the scale is," she says.

"Maybe it's because it's one of my first films, but it's hard to tell when you're in it. It's a huge, wild, big-scale, giant film! But when I was doing it, it just felt like we were in this little family, running around Prague for three months."

Sanders hopes this could help form a new model in how cinema might counter shrinking audiences - not just for comic-book movies, but for films in general.

"You have to be more adept at making things more effciently, that are emotionally resonant, and not just spectacle," he says. "I really hope we're in for another kind of Easy Riders, Raging Bulls period of having to make these more down-and-dirty films that still feel like big epic movies [but] are weirder and stranger."

Inevitably, there will be opinions about the new version of The Crow. Sanders isn't worried. "You can never please everyone when you're working with existing material—but I look at it as Kenneth Branagh doing a Shakespeare play that Gielgud did [before him]," he says. "That was a seminal performance, but it doesn't mean that's it and everything stops." It's been 30 years since the last film, and he hopes that in the same way the film excited 17-year-olds back then, his version will do the same for kids who are 17 years old now.

"This is for this generation. Probably 30 years from now they will be berating anyone who tries to make another version of it because this was the version they grew up on," he predicts. "It's cyclical." At least this time around, fewer cassette tapes will be harmed in the replaying of the soundtrack.

THE CROW IS IN CINEMAS FROM 23 AUGUST

[tgmsunmontue]

More than movie magic... 3/24

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries.

ONE TWO

THREE

                “Have you seen this?”

“What?” Bradley asks, looking up from where he’s doing his stretches; they’re meat to be practicing parkour today. Natasha gives him an eye roll and he takes the proffered phone from her outreached hand, gives her a look when he sees Jake Seresin's face paused on the screen.

                “Do I want to watch this?” Bradley asks her, because he knows his little crush didn’t go unnoticed,

                “Yeah you do. It’s only about thirty seconds. You've got a fan...”

                “What?”

                “Just watch it.”

                He presses play and it’s a promo interview for the film which is due to come out in about six weeks. It’s been over a year since he worked on it, worked with Jake, and he may have followed Jake on a couple of social media platforms just to stay up-to-date on his whereabouts. Not that he trusts them, too used to false trails sometimes being laid by Mav. But there are still the pretty pictures, and Jake Seresin is definitely a pretty picture. He turns up the sound and ignores Natasha’s snort of amusement.

                “So, Jake, there was a lot of stunt work in this movie. Did you have to prepare for it in any particular way?”

“I had to prepare for the physical presentation aspect of the role and look good with my shirt off, but in terms of stunts, well. No. I did as much as I was allowed, but Bradshaw and his team are very good and very dedicated about ensuring no-one gets hurt on set. I wasn't deemed experienced enough for a lot of the particular stunt work involved.”

“That’s a shame. Maybe you need to do a movie where you can tap into your experience doing rodeo.”

                “Yeah, maybe. Can you imagine the insurance required though?”

The studio audience laugh and Bradley decides he needs to find out what kind of rodeo Jake did exactly, because there isn’t any mention of him doing any of that type of stuff now, which makes sense given how busy he is as an actor. He misses the next question the interviewer asks, but his attention is on Jake anyway;

                “Bradley, uh, Bradshaw, is very good at what he does. He kept everyone performing the stunts incredibly safe.”

                “Look at him getting all flustered about using your first name,” Natasha says, poking him in the shoulder and Bradley thinks she might have a point.

                Hmm.

                Interesting.

                Later that night he finds the interview again and rewatches it. He’s well aware of the image that is crafted for actors in Hollywood, the careful dissemination of information and pictures released in order to create a narrative. He grew up watching it all and already knew he didn’t want to be a part of it, at least not front and center like actors are. Of course he’s still working in the industry and has helped formulate parts of those narratives. Jake was not born to parents who worked in Hollywood.

                There was a time before, a time when Jake was maybe captured on film before his image was carefully maintained and presented to the world and he wants to see it, needs to see it. Of course it feels a little skeevy to be searching for old videos but he can’t find it in himself to care. He could say he’s seeking a professional point of view on exactly what Jake’s past experience is but no, he’s simply curious as to what the interviewer was referring to.

                There are lots of videos. Whole channels dedicated to Jake Seresin’s days as an up-and-coming rodeo star before he was scouted to audition for his first role at the age of seventeen. There are compilations. Some are set to music and the comments make him remind himself to not read any more comments, even if he does agree with them.

                Fucking hell.

FOUR

[paldeanbooper]

Getting to Know Me!

I have been tagged by @radiosummons thank you very much 💝

1. Are you named after anyone? Yep, an actress! Can’t say who tho-

2. When was the last time you cried? Idk, i think yesterday? Rewatching a kid show…

3. Do you have kids? Hell no.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Absolutely, it’s all i do-

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Too many to count, favourite one is football

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? Im not sure, i think i really notice their posture and their tone, dunno why tho

7. What's your eye color? Green

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Im not a big fan of scary movies but not much of a fan of happy endings, i think i just like cliffhangers that end in a continuing series so i don't get bored of shows-

9. Any special talents? Im the best English student in all of my year and im really good at binging stuff, got through Ted Lasso and Stranger Things in, like, a week or two-

10. Where were you born? Somewhere in Aus

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, Piano, Dance, Reading, Watching TV, Gaming, etc…

12. Do you have any pets? Two kitties, drops of heaven that dropped onto hell for a second

13. How tall are you? Dont judge- 4’8

14. Favorite subject in school? PE, English, French (sometimes), PSHE (cuz my form tutor lets me do whatever during that lesson), some others.

15. Dream Job? Author or Psychologist or something else, might change-

Dont rlly know who to tag but heres a few! @why-is-my-house-on-fire, @heenr12, @charliebugz, @nonbinarytrashpanda, miladies @mumza-superiority and @noelle-the-bitch, @moonkachu, @a-radio-d3mon and hopefully this makes it’s way to the famous @toxiccrybabyart and @astrolavas!

Love your posts, peoples! Byeee 👋

[14dyh]

hii can you write hange x reader where hange and r are best friends who are obsessed w spider man and they confess to each other after watching one of the movies on theaters?

Confession | H.Z.

Pairing: Hange Zoë x reader (2nd POV) Summary: You and your best friend, Hange, went to the cinema together to watch a Spider-Man movie. Is there a love confession waiting after? Word count: 1.1k A/N: not used to writing modern au and in 2nd pov but this ask hyped me up so thanksss anon :D

The hectic exam week stole the time you should be spending with your best friend. You still share the smallest yet sweetest forms of affection despite the rough week, sometimes leaning on each other's shoulder after lectures when you're both sleepy or walking each other home.

This semester has kept both of you busy. Hange is always up to something so you never question it. They always find time to plan cool devices and build them in their spare time.

Their ideas fascinate you to no end but you longed for the times when you both read Spider-Man comic books on the weekends, trading your copies with each other. You always look forward to the sticky notes pasted on their favorite pages. Most of them are addressed to you since you're the only one they trade these comic books with. This act exists as a special bond between the both of you.

On Saturday movie nights, you rewatch the Spider-Man movies and challenge each other by competing who can find the most references. It's always fun to be with someone who understands your interests and loves them with you.

You: Hey Hans, wanna go to the cinema after exams??

You texted them that morning. You didn't have to specify the movie because they already know what you're referring to.

Hange: Totally :D

You smiled to yourself. Going to the movies together to watch the latest Spiderman movie might be the best thing after a barrage of schoolwork.

That day, you both wore the matching Spider-Man shirts you bought at a convention once.

"You must have read my mind," they teased after you got to your seats. The movie will start in five minutes.

"I could accuse you of the same thing too," you chuckled, amused by how much your actions seemed to sync despite the minimal planning this event underwent. Being at the cinema with your best friend rekindled the spark this stressful week dimmed within you.

When the movie started, your eyes were glued on the screen, sometimes squealing out of excitement with Hange. You didn't even notice the way you clung to their arm or the way you held their hand throughout the movie. Hange noted how lovely your bright, smiling eyes looked whenever you were happy. It was a sight their eyes always yearned to see.

Your eyes caught their gaze and took time to observe their face, partly illuminated by the movie screen. Their eyes showed a hint of tiredness, but most importantly, enthusiasm... an excitement you couldn't quite explain. Maybe it was their newest project. You scooted closer and asked them what they were currently up to.

"New project, hm? By the looks of it, you seemed to be passionate about it. Not that it's new to me, of course," you smiled, handing them the popcorn bucket. Hange beamed in response, the familiar curl of their lips when they were trying to contain their excitement.

"Heh, you know me very well," they chuckled.

Hange didn't let out too much information as their special way to keep the both of you excited for something new to talk about. Something else entirely lingered on your mind though. A simple message or a wave from them would remind you of Hange, and your desire to tell them how you truly felt. There was always a love letter tucked in your pocket, sometimes you even plan to slip it in one of the comic books you share. There was never a perfect time.

You leaned back in your seat, a portion of you rested on their shoulder as the movie credits rolled.

Later after the movie, both of you went to the ice cream parlor, sitting across each other in the seat usually reserved for lovers. It was an unwritten rule among the regulars but you didn't protest as Hange ushered you there with a smile.

"I have something for you," Hange said, leaning closer across from you, their hand outstretched. "Can I have your hand?"

Something inside you stirred, excitement or nervousness interweaving. You gave your hand to them and waited. They brought something out of their jacket, a familiar material they carefully strapped to your wrist.

"I remember we've always wanted a Spider-Man web shooter like in the films," they smiled as they talked, securing the device around you. "But why not make a version of our own, right? I made this one for you."

You couldn't help but stare at the smile in their eyes, your own heart leaping with joy as you observed how intricately this web shooter is made— made by someone who truly knows you.

You almost squealed with excitement, eager to see how it works. You wanted to hug Hange so tightly as you tried to contain your excitement. But most of all, you can't wait for Hange to tell you how they made this, knowing this would make them incredibly happy. They told you it was their design, even the mechanism that makes it work. You didn't even notice how much you were squeezing their hand between yours.

So this is what they've been tending to the whole week?

"Please show me how it works!" you gushed. Hange then excitedly explained its mechanisms. You can activate it the same way in the movies.

"The web inside is magnetic, though," Hange explained. "I want you to shoot it at me first."

Hange requested with a grin, the same child-like enthusiasm sparkled in their eyes. A faint blush appeared on your cheeks, it was a simple request but it was enough to increase your affection towards them.

You obliged with their request. You positioned your hand and aimed. The web shot out of the cartridge, immediately attaching itself to the left breast pocket of their jacket to which they smirked.

"Ooh, seems like you caught my heart," Hange smiled, you couldn't help but giggle at how smoothly that went on your ears. They fished out a custom magnetic device from their jacket where the web landed.

"My, is this a love confession, Hange?" you laughed, the heat within your cheek betraying you. The love letter within your pocket nudging to be brought out.

"Let's just say that I want to be able to love more things with you," Hange said in a low, sincere voice. "That is, if you will allow me..."

"Well... How could I say no to my favorite dork?" You chuckled, taking their hands again.

From then on, the lovers' seat near the cinema was occupied, especially when a Spider-Man movie was showing in the theaters.

[beebundt]

“Nine People you want to know better” tag game

omg i can't remember the last time ive played one of these tag games thank you @demekii for the tag!! i hope you enjoy boy and the heron, it was fun watch for sure 🫶 🫶 also ive been watching analog horror video essays lately as well so i totally feel your struggle LOLLL😭

Last Song: my song on loop for the week has been Killing Eve by Benét. i rlly like this artist

Favorite Color: give it up for my primary color gang ⁉ specifically these. i will use these colors at every opportunity it's so yummy to me. plus a green bc im learning my affection for green this past year

Last Movie/TV Show: i rewatched arcane.... i can't wait until season 2, i really love the art direction of that show. also rewatched howl's moving castle, most beautiful film of all time my beloved.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: sweet, savory, then spicy. im not a big fan of super spicy but a little is fine! and i always love having a little sweet drink or smth

Relationship status: do you think miss karlach/laezel baldur gate 3 will crush me like a soda can if i ask nicely enough

Last thing I googled: Orin The Red wiki page.......... ive been playing my durge playthru on bg3 lately and getting rlly fixated on the sibling relationship between durge & orin and just reading too many wikis than necessary .....

Current Obsession: my favorite thing is just watching 1-4 hour long essays on things ive never heard abt or dont haven't thought abt super in depth before. ever since i watched this one random video essay on Brave (the disney movie) that perfectly summed up what was bothering me in that movie that id never put into words like 3-4 years ago, ive been chasing that high ever since. did you know learning is so fun (*if the video essay is actually well researched and good). outside of that i love watching charborg twitch vods while im drawing or playing smth

Last Book: i have trouble focusing on reading books sometimes bc ive had bad experiences with them in the past....... 🧍‍♂️ i ache to be a book girlie. but i have to push myself to read more in order to find good books. however smth i WANT to read is the locked tomb series

Looking forwards to: playing a oneshot this coming february with my dnd group where ill be playing a mean pretty twink. guys i have to come up with an insult list of things he might say ahead of time, imagine that being ur homework. also i joined a lgbt club ? that i didn't know my college had so very intrigued with whatever may happen with that in the future. what does an lgbt club even do. crime ? gay ?

dw abt doing this if you don't want to 🫶 tagging kind moots/ppl i would love 2 get to know more. blinks cutely @myagletismissing @notskeleton @66dataa @rascheln @vasirah @kornyo @dreadfutures @shouty-y @rennybu @rnangopantsu

[epersonae]

tagged by @xxprincess1x, thank you!

Three ships:

Ed/Stede, of course and forever. At the moment I am also slowly rotating Claudia/Madeline, nothing specific just vibes. I have also been thinking about Mary/Carlita again lately, for the carlitaverse girlies.

First ship:

If I really really think about it, I actually have to say Anne/Diana from Anne of Green Gables, although I certainly wouldn't have called it that at the time. Then the pairing I sometimes jokingly call "babby's first problematic ship": Dale Cooper/Audrey Horne. And actually shipping as in reading fic and stuff: Kravitz/Taako/Magnus (and various permutations of that).

Last song:

I am in a sort of music competition thing, where every week there's a theme and people pick music that's supposed to match the theme, and then we vote, and this is from this week's playlist, music to listen to while working:

(I will probably be voting for it)

Last movie:

I don't go to the theater much, and I can't remember the order I saw these in last summer: the 2nd Spiderverse movie or Everything Everywhere All at Once? At home I have been on another documentaries kick and I think the last one was About Face, which was about supermodels. (Fascinating stuff, actually.)

Currently reading:

I picked up a copy of Couplets by Maggie Milner at the bookstore downtown last weekend and the first poem just rang like a bell in my brain. I'm also slowly working my way thru @blakbonnet's Moonstone Mage Championship (currently paused at a chapter where apparently CJ shows up, because I was not feeling up to him right now).

Currently watching:

Doing a leisurely rewatch of OFMD interspersed with catching up on Last Week Tonight and watching whatever random cult-adjacent documentary series catches my eye. Might also start a rewatch of Interview with the Vampire?

Currently eating:

Not eating, but drinking my morning "dirtbag latte" (Aeropress with caramel syrup and heated and foamed milk), in a little bit maybe I'll go get some blueberries and yogurt?

Current craving:

Rather than a food, what I'm really craving is some chill time outside in the sun, maybe in or next to a body of water? Not gonna happen anytime soon, sadly.

No pressure tags: @blakbonnet, @emi--rose, @chaotic-neutral-knitter, @chocolatepot, @krakenteacups, @faintvox