The Narrows - Zion National Park
October, 2023
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I'm tired of wondering what she's up to...
Who she may be talking to..
Who she may be seeing...
Who's making her laugh, smile...
I'm tired of wondering all these things because it's been really unbearable, yet I cannot help it. I miss her more than anything and I've never felt so alone... I hate sleeping alone. I don't want anyone to love her or make love to her.. anything.. I just wish i could hold her tightly. I'm tired of being sad... I try so goddamn hard everyday to keep myself up. It's exhausting.. and I just want all this pain to go away. I wish she would want me.. I wish she just wanted me back....
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the cosmos has made it pretty fucking evident that I shouldn’t be putting any energy towards dating..
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Christmas morning hike at Sal del Rey
12/25/23
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had the most vivid dream of her last night.. and it went on for so long. woke up crying.. i just couldn’t help it. not how I wanted to start my morning at all. i feel so fucking low and sad.. i hate this.. i don’t want to feel this way anymore….
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