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transthaumaturge · 4 years

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Squirrel Girl is Super Gay for her Roommate and I Want Everyone to Know

A gay infodump of sensible length by Rachel Tikvah

ALRIGHT, SO The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl was the very first comic that I ever read regularly, back when I was looking for more stories with strong female protagonists but didn't really know why. Back then I just thought I really liked strong female characters and not that I was being gay on main, but now I know the truth. The comic had a 5-year run, and it was the first time that Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green, had had her own series. She had a brief run in the mid-2000's where she was established as someone who could beat up Thanos with her bare hands well, more like squirrel hands but was mostly a joke character that happened to be incredibly buff and had indestructible plot armor. USG decided that Doreen's next major life goal would be to enroll in college to become a computer scientist, because her writer, Ryan North, is really into computer science and they basically gave him free rein over Squirrel Girl canon for five whole years. Like, a solid third of the plots are solved with some kind of computer science smarts. It’s really cool. Anyway this is Doreen in one of the gayest solo pictures I could find of her on short notice, which is also one of the variant covers from the actual series:

And this is her college roommate, Nancy Whitehead:

I'm like, 99% certain that Ryan North intended for them to end up as a couple and Disney!Marvel told him no. So he decided to make them AS GAY FOR EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE without explicitly saying that they were a couple, and it ended up going under the radar. What follows is evidence for that claim. I’m going to put a "read more” after this so it doesn’t clutter everyone’s dashboards, but please read on if you’re interested. There’s a lot of cute gayness after this point. I’m also going to put all of the image descriptions at the end, since they take up a lot of space and I don’t want to break up the flow of the post. Finally, a quick spoiler alert for one arc in the middle of the series and a couple major plot points from the final few issues.

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

So for a while it was just kind of hinted at that they’re in a relationship, mostly because they were basically domestic life partners for like, two whole years in-universe before the comic run ended. But it really came to a head with an arc that was ran about 2/3 of the way through the series. Some pictures of them being, like, so cute together in general and/or talking about how much they care about each other before I get to that arc, though:

Also Doreen describes her and Nancy's cat as "co-parented" in one of the last issues:

ANYWAY, THE ARC. THE HYPERTIME ARC. So one of the villains created for the Squirrel Girl run (I think they liked making weird shit canon just because they could) was a dude who went by the name "EpicCrimez". He’s a crime streamer. He livestreams his crimes to an online audience. I don't know. *Throws up hands*

He had some kind of laser gun that he built out of scavenged alien tech but didn't really know what it did, so he shot it at Doreen and Nancy for kicks. It shot them into hypertime, so suddenly the rest of the world was moving at a fraction of the pace that they were. They were moving so quickly that they were slated to live out their entire lives over the span of a single weekend if they didn't figure out how to reverse the effects. And...they did. Live out their entire lives together. For the two of them, they were the only two people in the world. There were other people, but they looked like statues unless you spent a very long time observing them. Doreen and Nancy grew old together in a world where they only had each other. This is an incredibly cute domestic scene from a little while after they found themselves in hypertime:

Gosh, I wish I could find more official art from that arc of them just living together, it was so good. But the point is, they were both old by the time that Nancy figured out how to get them out of hypertime. And it wasn't ideal. Their bio signatures were stored in the gun that EpicCrimez shot, and they could essentially "reboot" their bodies from when they were first shot and send themselves back into the regular timestream. But they wouldn't remember anything about the life that they had shared together. Nancy almost didn't want to do it. She raised the possibility of them just living out the rest of their lives together, because she didn't want to forget their life together. This is the conversation they had:

"I don't regret any of it. I don't want to lose it, and I don't want to lose us." "You're not getting rid of me that easily." Every time I look at that last picture, which took up an entire page of the comic, I start to cry. We’re seeing the final moments of two people who love each other more than anything, who were each other's entire lives, savoring their last moments together and wondering what the future holds. Sacrificing the life that they built together so that their younger selves could live a better, fuller one. Dying in each other’s arms, scared but comforted by the fact that they had each other. And then the arc ends, and they can't remember anything, so the status quo is restored. They have some paintings they made of each other while they were living together in hypertime, but they move on pretty quickly without ever knowing the significance of those lived decades. Still, it's clear in the arcs that follow and the adventures they embarked on afterward that they would die for each other. All of that continues until the end of the last arc. Their shared apartment's been blown up at this point by a supervillain who wanted to ruin Doreen’s life before eventually killing her. And in the aftermath of the fight, they're sifting through the wreckage for anything that survived (don't worry, the cat got out in time) when they find the picture that they painted of themselves during the hypertime arc:

They have a really cute conversation about how this chapter of their life is over, but they're going to be okay and they're going to build a new life together. And then Nancy basically tells Doreen that she can't live without her:

And then Doreen says something super queer-coded about how she likes the idea of the world knowing her secret identity now:

On the very last page of the comic, after all of the action is over and the series is about to end, they're talking to each other in what's supposed to be a twitter thread and Doreen asks Nancy a very thinly veiled question about whether she still wants to spend time with her now that her identity's out. She pretends it's about a class project, but it's really not about the class project. Here's how that conversation goes:

With no knowledge of what happened during the weekend when they shared their entire lives together, without ever having heard Doreen say it to her before, Nancy’s heart still knows which words to choose. "...you're not getting rid of me that easily. <3" I believe that the author of the series, Ryan North, did as much as he possibly could to portray them as a couple without saying it outright. And as the last piece of evidence to support that claim, I want to share a response he wrote in one of the series' last-ever letter columns:

"as for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical "Super" "Man" book without an equally hypothetical "Lois" "Lane"!" It's easy to write off this analysis as wishful thinking, or as a misreading of the subtext. But when the author of the series says that these two characters are meant to always be together and compares them to one of the most famous couples in any comic series ever, it's clear that there's more to it than that.

Some Additional Thoughts: 1) Doreen and Nancy are both probably bisexual or pansexual, since they both expressed romantic interest in men throughout the series but they’re both clearly interested in each other too. There might be an element of demiromanticism there as well if part of the reason that they’re into each other romantically is because of how emotionally close they’ve become over the years. I want to make sure that that facet of their romantic orientations doesn’t get erased, because bi and pan folks get erased enough as it is. Neither Doreen nor Nancy are lesbians, just super-cool WLWs.

2) HERE’S WHAT THE ISSUE 50 VARIANT COVER LOOKED LIKE

That’s NOT a fun, totally straight way to pose with your platonic gal pal. They’re so incredibly cute together! I have no words! In Closing If you got this far, thank you so much for letting me talk to you about a comic that’s very important to me, and a couple in that comic that I care about very much. I spent way too long making this (six hours and counting), mostly in writing the image descriptions, and I’m very proud of my work but very tired now. Hyperfixation is a hell of a drug. If this resonated with you, please consider reblogging it so that more folks can see it. If not, even a like is nice. I’d also love to engage with people who have their own thoughts, so feel free to leave some comments in the notes if you’ve got an idea/a reaction/any additional cute Doreen/Nancy scenes that you’d like to share with me. At any rate, this post has gone on long enough and I don’t want to ask y’all to read any more than you have to. So have a great day, good morning / afternoon / night, and stay safe. Thanks again for reading! ~Rachel Tikvah, AKA @transthaumaturge Image Descriptions: Image 1: [ID: Squirrel Girl, a young woman with light skin, is posing in front of a brick wall that she seems to have crashed through, leaving a perfect outline of her body. She’s facing away but looking backwards over her shoulder at us and smiling. She’s flexing upward with her right arm and has her left fist resting on her left hip. Her sidekick, a squirrel named Tippy-Toe, is standing in the cutout she left in the wall and is making the same exact pose while wearing a light pink bow around her neck. Squirrel Girl is wearing brown lace-up boots, fur-lined hot pants over grey tights, and a brown fur-lined jacket with sleeves that come up to her forearms and a symbol of an acorn embroidered into the back. She’s also wearing a hairband with fake squirrel ears on it over short reddish-brown hair. She has a large squirrel tail coming out of her hot pants that sweeps down in a curve behind her lower legs. The illustration is drawn so that everything is bathed in the light of a sunset, and Doreen is casting shadows on the wall in front of her.] Image 2: [ID: Two frames depicting a scene between Doreen and Nancy in their college dorm room, with many cardboard boxes still not unpacked and sitting on a bare bed mattress. Nancy Whitehead is a young woman with dark brown skin and short, curly black hair. She's wearing black tights, a white dress-top, and a yellow cardigan over that. Her arms are crossed as she holds her white cat, Mew, against her chest. Doreen is wearing grey tights and a black long-sleeve shirt with a wide collar and white stripes across the chest. She's holding Tippy-Toe up to Nancy with both hands so she can see her better. The following dialogue ensues: Nancy: "A squirrel? But weren't you the one who was all about pets not being allowed in--" Doreen: "Yeah, I know. But this really interesting person I met today told me that obeying an unjust law is itself unjust." Nancy: "...You know, I was worried I'd get a weird roommate, but you're all right, Doreen Green."] Image 3: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are both sitting on a lavender-pink couch in nightclothes. Doreen has short, orange hair. She is wearing a loose-fitting grey long-sleeve shirt and steel-blue cutoff shorts; Nancy has cropped black hair. She is wearing a dark purple top with sleeves that come down to her upper arms, and loose-fitting navy-blue shorts that come down to her lower thighs. Doreen is side-hugging Nancy as she says, with an ecstatically happy smile, “Nancy, you’re the greatest. You know that, right?” Nancy gives Doreen a full smile as she responds, “I’d always suspected it, but it is nice to have it confirmed.”] Image 4: [ID: Nancy is shown from the shoulders up. She has short, curly black hair. She’s wearing large, disc-shaped gold dangle earrings, and a red jacket with prominent shoulders and a yellow collar. She’s fixing the observer with an angry, determined stare as she says, “She knows this man wouldn’t dream about betraying her, or he’d have to answer to me.”] Image 5: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are eating breakfast at the brown, circular kitchen table in their apartment. Doreen’s wearing a skin-tight athletic crop top that’s striped in black, red, white, and blue. Her arm muscles are well-defined and clearly visible as she puts a spoon in her mouth, closing her eyes as she does so. She has a bowl of cereal in front of her, and half a banana in front of that. Nancy is sitting to her left in a pink camisole top that’s also exposing her muscles, scrolling through something on her smartphone. Her hair is in a yellow fabric wrap that’s knotted on one side of her head. A cup of coffee sits in front of her. The clear blue sky is visible through the window centered on the wall behind them.] Image 6: [ID: Nancy and Doreen are facing away from the vantage point, walking towards an Empire State University campus building and holding hands with their fingers intertwined. Nancy is wearing a long knee-length grey coat and black knee-high boots, with a baby-blue side bag hanging from her left shoulder. Doreen is wearing a magenta sweatshirt with the periwinkle-lined hood down, light brown form-fitting denim pants, and black ankle-high boots, with a dark brown side bag hanging from her right shoulder. Trees and bushes hem the walkway in on either side. The building in front of them is dark red, with glass doors and a row of floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor. Doreen is saying “...we’re just going to have to take the long way around.”] Image 7: [ID: Doreen is facing towards the vantage point and is visible from the legs up, standing in front of a pile of rubble in the background. She’s wearing high-waisted light blue shorts over black tights, and a red windbreaker with sleeves ending at her upper arms that’s opened to reveal a white t-shirt underneath. Tippy-Toe is sitting on her shoulder. There are two people facing Doreen, each slightly in frame and silhouetted in black against the light of the setting sun. Doreen is fixing them with an angry, determined expression, resting her right fist at her hip while she gesticulates with her left hand and says, “So! I don’t know about you all, but Melissa kidnapping my friend and blowing up my life and my house and almost blowing up my co-parented cat makes me feel like giving her a piece of my mind. Friends...”] Image 8: [ID: A full comic page. EpicCrimez is looking like a dork in a green and black skin-tight jumpsuit, bright red ski goggles, and a green wig cap with his brown hair sticking out the back in a mullet. He’s standing inside a jewelry store and holding up a fist of expensive gems and pearls-on-strings as holds up his smartphone and speaks into it. He’s facing off against Squirrel Girl, with her allies Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk on her right, and Nancy and Brain Drain on the left. The following scene ensues: EpicCrimez: “And for those of you just tuning in, welcome to another successful heist by your boy EpicCrimez, streaming live! Now with 10% more live crime action than any other streamer! Don’t forget to like and subscribe!! I know some of you in EpicCrimez Nation have been forgetting to do that lately. Not acceptable.” Squirrel Girl: “You picked the wrong small business to rob, crime-initiator! Because this mall is protected by super heroes.” Brain Drain: “HELLO” SG: “And also an unrelated civilian friend I brought along too!” Nancy: (Not looking up from her phone) “ ‘Sup.” EC: “Check it out--Squirrel Girl and her miscellaneous friends are here! It’s action you won’t find on any other channel!” SG: “Are you...streaming your robberies?” (Nancy pockets her phone) EC: “Yeah I am! For money reasons! And with you “heroes” in it, I’ll make even more!” SG: (Whispering to Nancy:) “Question: a fight scene just gets him more traffic, which lets him profit from this crime even more--so does this mean we don’t fight him?” N: (Whispering back:) “I feel like letting him go causes more harm, but I look forward to us teasing apart the moral implications of this later.” SG: “Nice.” SG: (No longer whispering:) “I’ll like and subscribe, EpicCrimez! I’ll like fighting crime, and subscribe... to a worldview wherein the strong protect the weak!” EC: “Oh my gosh, are you like wholesome Spider-Man or something??” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Wholesome Spider-Man, Wholesome Spider-Man/Does whatever a wholesome spider can/Is he tough?/Listen bud/He’s here to hear you talk about your day and tell you it’ll all be fine while taking you out for your favorite meal for dinner because he knows you deserve it.”] Image 9: [ID: Another full comic page. Doreen and Nancy are in their apartment together, and their friends Tomas and Brian (AKA Chipmunk Hunk and Brain Drain respectively) are frozen as they look down at the machine that Nancy is on her knees in front of, working on. Nancy, barefoot, is wearing cerulean-blue athletic pants, a black long-sleeve spandex shirt without shoulders, and narrow-framed glasses. Her hair is partially covered by a yellow cloth head wrap tied on the left side, with black dreadlocks spilling out the side and back. The machine in front of her is made of dull grey metal, about a meter tall and roughly circular. Wires dangle out of a hatch that Nancy is fiddling with. Doreen is wearing a flowing, dark-purple pantsuit with wide, ankle-length legs and a halter top with the sleeves tied off at her shoulders. Her shoes are light-brown ankle boots with a horizontal gap on the bridge of each foot. Her wavy orange hair is parted in the middle and down past her shoulders. She looks incredibly cute. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “What do you think?” Nancy: “I think--come on you stupid screw--I think we’re still years away from this thing working, if it ever does. Who knew time machine construction is really hard, except of course for everyone who has attempted it?” (She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand) D: “Hah! No, I mean my new outfit.” N: (Looking up and checking her gf out:) “Doreen! You look amazing!!” D: “Liberated it from a very expensive department store uptown!” N: (Now standing) “Tony paid for it?” D: Tony will eventually discover he was kind enough to leave some expensive jewelry in trade, yes. I pinned a note to him so he knows.” N: “There really are advantages to being friends with billionaire playboy genius philanthropists.” D: “Right?!” N: (Taking Doreen’s hands in hers:) “It’s a shame we can’t take a picture of you all dolled up.” D: “Not without standing still for a few months, yeah. But I was thinking about that. I picked up something else at another store downtown. Thought maybe it could help us with that.” (Holding up a shopping bag with one hand while still holding onto Nancy’s hand with the other:) “Nancy Whitehead, I thought you and I might take up painting sometime.” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Tony Stark moves from meeting to meeting, his body accumulating dozens of notes every second. He sighs. Stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen. But then he smiles, because after all...stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen.”] Images 10-16: [ID: Several pages worth of comic frames, posted together to depict one scene. Doreen and Nancy are now old women, likely in their seventies or eighties. Doreen has short, grey hair. She’s wearing a tan button-up waistcoat and an orange ascot, brown flats with an olive-green skirt, knee-length and softly pleated. Her tail is sticking out the back of her skirt over the top, bushy and brown but with stiffer, less-dense hair. Nancy has her grey-black hair done up in a ponytail, a mass of tight curls behind her head. She’s wearing thin oval glasses, black dress pants, black flats, and a lavender cardigan with a flower motif along the edges, open to show the yellow-orange top underneath. They’re standing in front of a completed time machine. On either side are tall pieces of machinery, and in the middle is a round, flat metal dais hooked up to everything else with snaking cables. The following scene ensues: Nancy: “So...this is it, babe. The new machine.” Doreen: “Your secret project! Nancy, it looks like you started from scratch!” N: That’s because I did. I finally realized our old machine was never going to work. Maybe if we had a few more decades, but...there’s no time. And given that our backs are to the wall, I took a risk. I disassembled the gun right down to the metal, and examined all the parts. And I did find something: a data chip. Doreen, the gun stored our bio signatures when it us.” D: “What are you saying?” N: “I’m saying my new machine won’t send us back in time, and we’ll still have lost a weekend of real time. But it will restore our bodies to normal time.” D: (Hugging Nancy tight:) “Nancy! You saved us!!” N: (Resting her hands on Doreen’s shoulders:) “Not--quite. There’s a catch, Doreen. Our bodies will make it...but we won’t. Look, Doreen...I’m an old woman. I’ve spent most of my life in hypertime. This wasn’t how I saw my life going, but...I don’t regret any of it. I don’t want to lose it, and I don’t want to lose us.” D: “I don’t understand.” N: “It’s like restoring from backup. Our bodies will be restored to how they were the moment we were first hit. But--that necessarily includes our brains, too. Everything we’ve done since we entered hypertime--our entire lives spent together...we’ll forget.” (She looks at Doreen in distress) D: “I don’t either, Nancy. You’ve been the most important person in my life. But if we do go back--we can do it again. All of it. It might not happen again quite the same way, but--well, like you say...we’ll have all the time in the world.” N: (Their faces inches apart, they both tilt their heads down and smile sadly:) “Twist my arm, why don’t you.” (They both step onto the dais holding hands, and blue energy starts to ripple around them:) “You filled up Spidey’s web-shooters before we go?” D: “Yep. Again.” N: “You and me, saving the world.” D: “Well,” (holding Nancy’s hand in both of her own) "No reason we can’t do it twice.” N: “You know, there’s a chance things could turn out differently, now that we’ll have video games to distract us. In 40 years we might decide we don’t like hanging out after all.” D: (Hugging Nancy even tighter than before as the energy from the time machine starts to envelop them, resting her face in the nape of Nancy’s neck:) “Nah. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”] Image 17: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are sifting through the charred rubble of their apartment as night starts to fall around them. Doreen is wearing faded blue jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with a Captain America star in the middle. Over top of the shirt, she’s wearing a dark reddish-brown leather vest with four metal studs at the four points of the folded-out collar. Nancy is wearing black tights and a light green long-sleeve shirt with olive-green sleeves. The front of the shirt has a picture of Cat-Thor, Cat God of Cat Thunder’s head on it. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “So I know we’re only a few hours into it, Nancy, but I think my identity being public isn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.” Nancy: “Oh?” D: “Yeah, Tony’s given me lots of tips, and it does honestly help to know that my parents are protected by a robot tree with laser eyes and my friends live in a city with the most super heroes per square mile.” N: “Most super villains too, but--Hold on. I think I found it.” (Nancy lifts a picture frame out of the wreckage, charred around the edges but otherwise no worse for wear. It has a painting inside of it of Doreen and Nancy, arm-in-arm, from hypertime. Doreen is wearing the lavender pantsuit from before, and Nancy is wearing a tight-fitting lilac dress.) “...And it looks like you and I made it through just fine.”] Images 18-19: [ID: Two later comic panels from the same scene. They’re wearing the same outfits, but Nancy’s now cradling her white cat, Mew, in the crook of her left arm while she holds onto the picture frame with her right hand. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “Come on, let’s talk about it! If we’re starting a new chapter in our lives, and we can decide what’s in it, what do you want it to contain?” Nancy: “Doreen...” D: “What are the three things you can’t live without, Nancy Whitehead?” N: (Holding up the picture so that Doreen can see it:) “Fine. If you must know, all this girl needs to be happy are cats and squirrels and knitting and computers and friends and secret tattoos and super heroes and lots and lots of love. Also food and shelter. And water. And internet.” D: “That’s more than three things.”] Image 20: [ID: Same scene as before, a single frame with a close-up on Doreen from her chest upwards. Doreen cups her chin with one of her hands and says, “Honestly--I thought about it. I really did. But I realized that where I am now, I’m safe and I’m loved and I kinda like the idea of not having to lie to people anymore, you know? Even if it is just a lie of omission. I want to share my whole self with the world. I don’t want to have to hide who I am anymore.”] Image 21: [ID: Something resembling a twitter thread, with dialogue between Nancy and Doreen stacked chronologically as horizontal boxes. Their respective names and handles are at the top of each of their comments. Nancy is Nancy W. and @sewwiththeflo, Doreen is Squirrel Girl and @unbeatablesg. The following conversation ensues: Nancy: “You think I’d leave you high and dry??” Doreen: “I think I don’t want our lateness harming your grades and therefore harming your post-secondary education or career choices and therefore harming your ENTIRE LIFE?!” “So yeah I think you should switch to someone else, real talk. I honestly don’t mind, I promise.” Nancy: “Please. If there’s one thing I know about you, about me, and about how we spend our future together, it’s this. Doreen Green...” “...you’re not getting rid of me that easily. <3″] Image 22: [ID: A paragraph of text, black text on a yellow background. “As for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical “Super” “Man” book without an equally hypothetical “Lois” “Lane”!”] Image 23: [ID: A group picture of Squirrel Girl and friends sitting down on a grassy hill and watching the sunset together. Kraven the Hunter is in the foreground for some reason, looking almost directly at the camera. In the background we see Koi Boi, Mary Mahajan, Chipmunk Hunk, Brain Drain, and Mew the Cat. In the middle of the shot, Doreen and Nancy sit together. Doreen is in her superhero outfit with Tippy-Toe on her right shoulder, and Nancy is in a yellow cardigan and jeans on Doreen’s left. They’re holding hands, fingers intertwined, as Nancy leans against Doreen with her whole body. Their heads are tilted inward towards each other, the side of Doreen’s head touching the side of Nancy’s, as they look off into the distance together.]

#the unbeatable squirrel girl #squirrel girl x nancy #squancy #squirrel girl #nancy whitehead #queer comics #WLW comics #long post #described #squirrel girl spoilers #thaumaturgethoughts

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 5 years

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We know that tianshan will be together in the future. but in your opinion, at what moment will either MGS or HT will realize they are in love. and now in middle school, do they like each other romantically even a little? Thank you in advance!

Good afternoon, dear anon-san!

Your question was probably the hardest one I’ve gotten so far. This is my third time starting my answer to this. Outlining this turned out to be quite a nut to crack because I don’t think there is a simple answer to your question. Tianshan is a continuum, so pinpointing or giving amounts of feelings is rather difficult. After scratching everything I had written the second time, I decided to take the long route and outline how I see the arch of Tianshan. Hopefully, that will show how hard I found your question.

In another ask, I divided Zhanyi’s story into segments, and I will be doing something similar to Tianshan. I went through the comic and in my eyes, there were some turning points that mark how their relationship has developed. I’ll be using these to give some structure to my answer.

TL;DR: I think HT has already come to the conclusion that he’s romantically interested in MGS. But he hasn’t found a comfortable way of expressing that quite yet despite expressing quite a lot of affection and dedication. MGS, on the other hand, is much trickier. I don’t think he’s in love with HT yet or even likes him in a romantic sense but he’s started to care about him. And even more importantly, he’s started to let HT have an effect on him and letting go of his need for control. Is he in love with HT in the future chapters? I think we’d need to know more to say for sure…

“You’ll answer to me from now on”

From the beginning, they were two forces colliding. MGS was distrustful and full of resentful sneering (ch. 138, 150, 155):

HT no doubt reminded MGS of SL, and he had learned not to trust rich guys like him the hard way. They were fake, cunning, and dangerous, merely looking for ways to take advantage of people less fortunate than them. They thought they could own MGS and look down on him.

For the most part, HT let MGS spit accusations in his face. The fact that MGS despised people like HT and thought they were scum, only showed his set of values. He was someone HT could respect for thinking like that. He saw himself in “fake”, “sinister” and “dangerous”, but they were also things he was looking to change about himself.

But when MGS went too far, HT was quick to dominate MGS and show which one of them was the boss (ch. 130, 138, 144, 150):

HT’s tone with MGS was rather different from what it is these days. MGS was allowed to diss HT’s kind of people but he wasn’t allowed to talk back. HT gave direct orders that were not to be ignored, threatened MGS, and often made MGS submit by physical force. This kind of behavior is often seen as abusive among the readers. HT made clear there was a power imbalance between them and his word was the law.

However, I think the way HT took control also created a sense of safety and security. In a similar way than parents set rules and limits to their kids, so there is safety and structure in their life. Another anon once proposed that HT was a father figure to MGS in that sense, and I would agree with the anon up to a point. By showing strength, HT showed MGS that he was someone who could be trusted and relied on. He could take the reins and MGS can follow him instead of trying to fight by himself. By taking control - albeit forcefully - HT said “it’s okay, let me worry about things”. Because MGS’s behavior ultimately stems from his distrust of people. Over the years, his defense had grown high and strong, and HT needed to be forceful to get through to him. MGS’s life was heading in a dangerous direction that could ruin his future, but MGS himself had kind of accepted his faith. HT needed to turn it around for him and decided he wouldn’t be using kid gloves.

And the thing is, MGS wasn’t exactly difficult to make submit. He might have cursed and spat when HT ordered him around, but it didn’t take that much from HT to make him listen. MGS’s delinquent act was very convincing and did scare off a lot of people - as it was meant to do. But when HT got that dark look in his eyes and grabbed MGS’s shirt, it didn’t take long for MGS to surrender. I think the same applies to MGS’s relationship with SL and Buzzcut. MGS is scared of SL but is respected and somewhat feared by Buzzcut (when MGS gets angry).

I wouldn’t say this first “phase” of Tianshan had any romantic feelings involved. I don’t think Tianshan was love at first sight. HT got interested in MGS for his own selfish reasons, and MGS’s resistance to him was much deeper and darker than what it is these days. It wasn’t about a tsundere just being a tsundere but rather about distrust and MGS not even wanting to know if he was in the right doing so.

After that, though, it gets more complicated and difficult to tell one feeling apart from another.

“Don’t try to shoulder everything by yourself”

This is when HT’s project “Outstanding Person” kicks off in earnest, and he continues using the carrot and the stick with MGS (ch. 160, 180):

One of the goals is to “hone down” MGS’s personality. And HT is pretty damn perfect for the job. In a way, he’s the “safest” person for it. On one hand, he has the strength to put MGS in his place when he’s acting out and the resources to keep him out of trouble by directing his focus on things that will benefit him. On the other hand, he’s also someone who won’t turn his back on MGS or get scared of him. He doesn’t believe MGS is a villain and won’t allow MGS to push him away by cursing and punching.

HT also doesn’t shy away from being harsh with MGS (ch. 150, 174):

As much as HT agrees that MGS has been wronged and unfairly made the villain by others, he doesn’t stand for giving up or “woe is me” attitude. MGS has had a difficult life in many ways, but it’s up to him to move forward. Clinging to the hurt and resentment is the easy way but it also affects his future when he accepts that kind of role. The unfair truth is, the world won’t apologize to MGS, so he might as well make something out of himself instead of spinning his wheels. And HT is there to help him with that attitude adjustment.

MGS started to realize he wasn’t alone when the gang helped him sort out the assault case. HT showed that all the strength he had - and there was a lot of it - was on MGS’s side and he should rely on HT (ch. 183, 185, 188):

For the first time, MGS saw HT as someone who wouldn’t use his power to take advantage of him. Perhaps HT was someone who was ready to fight for him, and - even more importantly - thought MGS was someone worth fighting for. The sense of relief and security when realizing you’re not alone anymore is one powerful feeling. And I think MGS came to see the first glimpses of that in his relationship with HT.

The ferocity with which HT stood up to SL has always made me think that maybe it was already about something deeper for him. Maybe it was about something else too rather than just making MGS into an outstanding person and HT trying to use his strength for good. Was his interest in MGS getting deeper than a pet project? Either way, I think it was the beginning of HT’s very personal war against SL and how much MGS’s connection to SL bothered HT.

In this “phase”, we also started to notice a change in how HT acted around MGS (ch. 155, 160, 173):

He went from threats and orders to mischevious grins and finding MGS’s feisty personality rather amusing. He started to tease MGS and grew devil horns and a tail to fit this new hobby of his. At the same time, MGS’s countless “fuck offs” and “scrams” started to lose their edge and became more comical when they were soundly ignored by smiling HT.

If I had to pinpoint when HT started having the first inklings of romantic interest in MGS, I would say it’s somewhere around this phase. There were two moments that make me think so. Firstly, perhaps the one that has confused the readers the most (ch. 160):

It was later revealed that he was lying, even though I have somewhat mixed feelings about the note MGS discovered. Personally, I read it as HT being conflicted about his own budding feelings towards MGS. Especially if he was lying about them as it said in the note. What he said went kind of against how he was often behaving around MGS. Perhaps this was the first time he was having feelings for another guy and needed a moment to figure things out for himself. Either way, I think it showed things were changing.

Another moment that might suggest other interests were starting to get involved was when HT was rather intimate while trying to intimidate MGS and got “sidetracked” (ch. 170):

To me, HT touching MGS’s lips like is an interesting, titillating dance between scary and sexy which I think is a pretty fitting tune for Tianshan even in the future. There’s always a sense of danger in HT, and I imagine he can get pretty intense in a sexual way. I think that caressing of lips can at least be read as a sign about which direction the tension between HT and MGS was going to head. Also, I know the groping was meant to be comedic relief and this kind of behavior isn’t new to HT, but still…I’d say it’s a weird thing to be distracted by if you have zero such interest in someone.

In addition to that, the comic also started to point out how innocent and inexperienced MGS was when it came to love and romance (ch. 160, 170, 174, 186):

He was grossed out and often lashed out in a fit of embarrassment. And of course, HT found this endlessly amusing and interesting and teased him about it even more.

However, it was their infamous first kiss that truly showed him he couldn’t be too careless with MGS (ch. 174, 175):

Even though I said earlier that I think this phase was when HT was starting to get romantically interested in MGS, I don’t think that kiss was about love or like or romance. He was simply teasing MGS, and it went quite epically wrong. He misjudged how seriously MGS would take it and massively overstepped the line. He seemed genuinely surprised by MGS’s violent reaction and how upset he was. As unfortunate as that was, it at least served as a learning experience. HT needed to have a serious mind and heart if he was looking to approach such matters with MGS.

I also think the kiss was a catalyst for something in MGS’s mind (ch. 177):

After calming down, he seemed dazed and confused, a bit out of it. I’m sure he was still upset but also something else. It doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with HT precisely, but despite everything, I believe it was MGS’s first kiss. That ought to make your head spin a little. After that, he started to become increasingly conscious of HT which moves us on to the next “phase”.

“I’m so bothered by you…”

This is when I think HT was starting to court MGS more seriously as if he had made up his mind. Although, his affections are still layered with other feelings: being guarded and not wanting to show his darkness, not quite having the courage to be openly serious about his feelings and masking them as teasing, fear of abandonment and the possessiveness that comes with it.

But I would definitely say his feelings for MGS are deepening. The different ways he looks at MGS alone are a good example fo that (ch. 210, 216, 263, 282, 296, 297, 205):

Admiration and respect. Possessive and anxious. Vulnerable and affectionate. Sometimes it’s as if MGS takes HT by surprise and he can’t help but halt to look at him. Other times HT can’t contain whatever he’s feelings - hide it behind his mask - and lets it show on his face, perhaps without even realizing it. I think all these different looks and expressions tell how many feelings MGS has evoked in HT who set out as a solitary savior with a strong mask to hide behind. HT has gotten more and more comfortable around MGS and trusted him to see more sides of himself.

Another thing that caught my eye was the increase in casual physical contact between HT and MGS (ch. 203, 205, 220, 221, 223, 237, 261, 280, 310):

HT seemed to be touching MGS whenever he could: hand over his shoulders, tussling his hair, grabbing his hand or just messing with him in general. And often he wanted to keep MGS bodily close - which in MGS’s case, also required physical contact since he isn’t too fond of HT touching him. Besides teasing and affection, the touching could also be comforting and protective.

Soon, both HT’s teasing and touching also started to become more and more suggestive (ch. 190, 202, 236, 261, 269, 280, 284, 288, 289, 290, 306, 311):

HT seems to enjoy teasing MGS and amused by the embarrassed reactions he manages to draw out of him. He likes to watch MGS blush and squirm. But what’s interesting about this is that HT is paying more mind to the invisible limits. MGS is still reluctant to the affection, but HT is taking his time, sneaking a glimpse of MGS’s ass here and a peck on the cheek there. He also seems to enjoy putting MGS in compromising positions and feigning innocence.

In return, MGS has become increasingly conscious of HT and bothered by him (ch. 214, 216, 222, 264, 268, 270, 273, 277, 284, 285, 298, 305):

HT’s close presence makes MGS nervous and conscious in a different way than in the beginning. He sweats, blushes, and overcompensates for his nervous energy and embarrassment by lashing out. And god forbid, someone implies that maybe - just maybe - someone or something is bothering MGS. He will rain Hellfire upon anyone suggesting such things, especially if they hint that HT might be the cause.

Of course, MGS’s “don’t tell me what to do” attitude hasn’t disappeared (ch. 200, 277):

And it never will go away. And HT never wants it to go away. MGS being someone who stands up to HT is something HT very much admires about him. Not to mention, what their relationship absolutely requires in order to work. This type of resisting is what’s in MGS’s nature, it’s out of pride. In the beginning, MGS resisted because he was suspicious of HT and despised him because he thought HT telling him what to do was him trying to take advantage.

But of course, it’s not like HT is letting MGS run his mouth as he likes or disobey him when it matters (ch. 210, 222, 287):

The power dynamic has leveled out but there are still times when HT lets MGS know, in no uncertain terms, when he’s crossed some line or needs to listen to HT. The unwritten rule remains that when HT is helping MGS, he’s not allowed to ignore HT. Also, HT seems quite sensitive to MGS talking about HT in the context of his family. He doesn’t want to be compared to them or MGS to think he’s one of them.

In addition to all the feistiness, MGS is also showing his duality as a tsundere (ch. 234, 236, 243, 246, 254, 255, 259, 309):

He curses and struggles against HT - and I don’t doubt he is annoyed by him - but also shows concern when HT is not around or is hurt. And that’s the thing about MGS. He will keep telling HT to fuck off and scram and “are we supposed to be familiar” but at the same time, if something happens he gets worried. He shows concern while averting his eyes, acting nonchalant, and griping his pants so he won’t reach out. He won’t try on the earrings - the ones he specifically asked HT to get him - in front of him but would rather escape to the privacy of the bathroom.

I would say this phase that we’re reading at the moment comes down to MGS being “bothered” by HT. In other words, HT is affecting him and it threatens MGS’s sense of control over himself. HT is persistently getting closer and closer, and MGS finds himself more and more affected by him. I don’t think MGS has fallen in love with HT yet or even romantically likes him, but he is doing something that is similar to those feelings: giving up control. And I think MGS asking for the earrings was a major sign of that. To him, it was a big deal and something fundamental.

About their future

When will MGS realize his feelings for HT? Is he crushing on HT in the Christmas and hot springs specials that take place in the future? My Tianshan heart wants to say “YES!”, but my more objective mind wants to remain cautious. I don’t think we know enough about the future to say anything for sure just based on the special chapters.

What we do know, however, we know for sure (ch. 224, 230):

The black studs are very much present in both future-related specials. Even if they don’t necessarily see each other that often due to HT’s traveling or just not being around, MGS is still wearing them. Let me say it again: MGS got them when he was in middle school and he is still wearing them when he’s at college (?) age. If that’s anything to go by, I’d give in a little to my Tianshan heart and say MGS has gotten further with his feelings for HT. (And I suppose it’s worth mentioning they seem physically more intimate in the specials, but then again, that might be just HT pushing it.)

The thing about Tianshan is that I’m not sure if MGS would ever confess his feelings out loud or even admit them to himself. He might just…let them be there. To me, Tianshan is the kind of relationship that they just let things develop without making explicit confessions or declarations. Even in the future, their relationship won’t probably have a specific category or term for it. They just are without necessarily needing to make it official. They just care about each other and let the other care about them. It’s about HT showing up and MGS sharing the bed with him. In MGS’s case especially, his love is in the gestures and actions rather than words. But at the same time, they’re both well aware of how much whatever they have means to them.

…Or I’m just too wrapped up in my own personal Tianshan aesthetics again.

For sure, I could’ve given a shorter answer but whenever I tried that I always felt like I needed to give more context. So…sorry, it’s a bit long. Again. And I don’t know if I even managed to give a proper answer, dear anon-san. Hopefully something satisfying enough. Thank you for your question!

#tianshan #19 days #mo guan shan #he tian #answered ask

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afni-fics · 3 years

Text

Elder Scrolls DC - A Reluctant Dragonborn: Chapter 34: Hot Springs

Elder Scrolls DC - A Reluctant Dragonborn: Chapter 34: Hot Springs by C_R_Scott Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Red Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics), Batman (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Characters: Tim Drake, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Skyrim/DCU crossover, Reluctant Dovahkiin | Dragonborn, Not Beta Read, Alternate Universe - Skyrim Fusion, Modded Skyrim, Skyrim Spoilers, Tim Drake is Dragonborn | Dovahkiin, Tim Drake-centric, Trope: It sucks to be the chosen one, Trope: Trapped in another world, Trope: Kidnapped by the Call

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Summary:

Along the way to Ivarstead, the trio happen upon a set of hot springs...

Despite how rocky things started off that morning, as Tim and his companions continued along the road leading towards Ivarstead, things mellowed out somewhat.

The most obvious quality of life improvement with Kaidan now travelling with them was that weaker threats like skeevers, small wolves, and the occasional small group of bandits that would've tried to take a chunk out of him or Lucien previously were content to keep their distance. Dressed in heavy steel armor with that giant sword longer than most men strapped to his back, Tim was honestly glad for the obvious visual threat deterrence Kaidan provided. After his argument with Lucien, and after spending half the night rescuing their new friend from the Thalmor, Tim was not in a mood to finish any fights started by the wildlife or wandering criminal population of Skyrim.

While Lucien focused on conversing with Kaidan for most of the morning, Tim enjoyed the newfound peace and quiet of this leg of the journey and having a few hours to observe his surroundings alone with his own thoughts. The further they went, the more mountainous and wooded the terrain became, and the more enamored he became with his surroundings

The young man took note of the types of trees and plants that grew in abundance around him. Idly he wondered which were useful, potentially edible plants and which were toxic. He also made it a point to be mindful of movements of the animals that wandered amongst the trees. If he was going to have to survive out here, he needed to learn know how to identify, at a glance, the harmless creatures from the more dangerous ones that would immediately see him and his companions as a quick meal.

"I should buy another journal, just for field notes, and pencils for sketching," Tim thought to himself. "I wish cameras were a thing here." There was so much... too much... to see and learn.

"Word is, the waters here are good for you."

The sun was starting to get affectionate with the horizon and Tim glanced backward to notice that Kaidan had paused to look at something just off the cobblestone path. He followed the swordsman's gaze to an interesting looking location on the other side of the river they'd been following towards their destination.

"What is that?" he asked

"Hot springs," Kaidan explained as he went to a better ledge overlooking the river and the pools beyond. "I've passed by every now and again over the years, but never indulged myself. The locals believe the water has healin' properties, and somehow they stay warm all year round."

"We have to camp here tonight!"

Kaidan and Lucien both looked at Tim curiously, who was staring at the hot springs with an expression of obvious longing.

"We 'have' to?" Lucien asked.

Tim whipped his head to his two travelling companions. "Yes! We 'have' to!" he insisted. Then, without even waiting for the other two to agree or disagree, Tim started making is way off the beaten path towards an obvious set of large stones that could easily serve as a makeshift bridge to across the river. After sharing a confused glance and a shrug of shoulders, Kaidan and Lucien both followed after him.

It didn't take Tim long to reach the outer edges of the hot springs ahead of his companions. The air was unfamiliarly warm and humid and there was a distinct medicinal aroma in the air. Tim took it all in with relish. As he got to the waters' edge, he tugged off one of his gloves and tested the temperature of both the sands on the shoreline as well as the water with his hand. He didn't even bother trying to mask the murmur of approval that escaped his lips.

"Are you seriously considering indulging in these springs, Timothy?"

Tim nodded at Lucien as he rose to his feet and tugged his glove back on. "I am not passing up this opportunity," he said as he glanced at the clearing just a dozen or so yards away from the water's edge. There was more than enough room to comfortably set up camp, and Tim was quick to set down his pack and pull out the things needed to set up their tent.

"Opportunity?" Kaidan echoed with with confusion, which was rewarded with an exasperated grumble.

"It has been literal weeks since I've been able to take a decent bath since I woke up in Skyrim," Tim told Kaidan as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Not to mention it's cold all the damned time out here, especially at night! Every day the choice is either be clean and flirting with frostbite or stay decently warm but filthy." He glanced at Lucien, who was observing him with a fair amount of growing amusement.

"I think you're exaggerating a bit regarding how cold it is out here," the scholar chuckled.

"I probably am, but I don't care," Tim said matter-of-factly as he started setting up the tent as quickly and efficiently as he could. "You want me to not look for trouble tonight? Then this is your best chance for it, because short of a fucking dragon attack I am not squandering the chance for a hot bath and a decent night's sleep in a place that's actually radiating warmth instead of sucking it out of me."

While Kaidan regarded Tim with a fair amount of undisguised concern before borrowing an axe to collect firewood, Lucien just continued to snicker under his breath as he pulled out the cooking gear and ingredients from his own bag. It was his turn to cook, after all.

"I am never taking hot baths for granted ever again," Tim thought to himself with a content sigh once he finally sank chest deep into the springs after finding a spot where there was a natural stone ledge next to the water's edge that allowed him to lounge comfortably while submerged. After camp had been set up, the sun had set, and Lucien had just started cooking, Tim was adamant about enjoying the springs as early and as long as he possibly could. After assuring Lucien and Kaidan he'd only be a few yards away, Tim made his way to the nearest deep pool he could find, stripped off his gear and clothing, and stepped into the deliciously hot waters. After taking several minutes to actually clean his skin and hair, the young man finally settled into a mostly tranquil state as he stared up at the starry night sky with its twin moons. It was so warm and peaceful out there. One could almost forget that Skyrim was a wild mostly-untamed land full of a wide variety of things that wanted him dead.

Almost...

The subtle sound of something skulking in the shadows of some nearby trees behind him caught his ear. Without moving his head, Tim's eyes glanced towards the trees and recognized the outline of a man among the evergreens. Casually, Tim moved from where he was sitting and made his way back to the shore where his clothes were folded. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a length of linen cloth he was planning on using as a towel.

A feint.

From beneath the cover of the linen cloth, Tim slipped several throwing stars into his hand. Then, as quickly as he could, he threw the stars at the evergreens right where the shadows looked most man-shaped. They whistled through the air and embedded themselves in the trunks of the trees with solid "THUNKS".

"What the fu--?!" the man in the darkness shouted as he quickly stumbled away from where the wickedly sharp metal stars had nearly clipped him. Unfortunately for that poor soul, the stars themselves had been another feint.

While the stranger was distracted, Tim had wrapped the linen cloth around his waist and recovered his metal quarterstaff. On the silence of bare feet and without the weight of his own armor slowing him down, the vigilante rushed his distracted stalker and struck him with a headshot and a couple of body blows from his staff before finally taking him completely off his feet, where he crashed to the sandy shore with a clatter of metal.

Wait... Metal?

"What in the world is going on?" Lucien called out as he rushed to where Tim stood with a lantern in hand. As soon as the light was close enough to chase the shadows away, it was clear who Tim's unfortunate victim was.

"Kaidan?!"

Their new swordsman, flat on his back on the sand, groaned as he brought a hand up to his head. "What the Oblivion was that?"

Tim relaxed his defensive stance. "Were you... spying on me?!"

"Guardin'," Kaidan muttered as he gingerly eased himself up into a seated position. "Least, that was the plan. To keep watch your back while you were... vulnerable." He glanced at Lucien. "I thought you said he was bad at self-preservation?"

"I did, but I meant that in the way that he frequently throws himself into dangerous situations without any concern for his own health and wellbeing." Lucien shook his head, set down the lantern, and cast a quick healing spell over their swordsman. "When it comes to actual combat, Timothy's really quite skilled."

Tim leaned against his staff as he watched Lucien finish his healing. "Y'know Kaidan, you could've just told me you were worried about my safety before I went into the water."

"You wanted to bathe. I figured you'd tell me to sod off for privacy."

"I would've said, 'Do what you want. I don't give a fuck.' I can watch my own back just fine though." After taking a moment to retrieve his throwing stars from the nearby tree, Tim turned back to the pool. "Now if you guys don't mind, I'm going back to finish my bath."

Now that Kaidan was upright and he could see Tim more clearly in the lantern light, the swordsman took a moment to get a good look at the lines of the young man's body that had previously been hidden beneath layers of leather armor. Though he'd originally assumed he was a noble or scholar based on how Tim spoke and carried himself, as well as how he interacted with Lucien, Tim's body told a different story. His muscles were lean and well defined, looking like they'd been built over years of training for speed and finesse, rather than raw power and brute strength. His pale skin was also a map of scars scattered across both his torso and his limbs.

As Tim walked off, Kaidan noticed something that made his breath catch in his throat. It was the sight of Tim's burn scars consuming nearly the entirety of the young man's back and part of his left upper arm.

--- NOTE:

Indulging in little slices of life as Tim, Luci, and Kai travel towards Ivarstead. I'd forgotten initially during the playthrough that the hot springs were along one of the main paths to Ivarstead, so when Kaidan commented on it in-game I couldn't resist the pit stop.

It's been in the back of my mind that Tim has been missing a lot of modern conveniences since waking up in Skyrim. Motorized vehicles, computers, and cell phones/communication devices have been obvious ones. However, it occurred to me that things like regular access to hot baths would also be sorely missed too, especially in a region as cold as Skyrim, especially when you're spending days to weeks on end out on the road or in the wilderness.

#elder scrolls dc#fanfiction#tim drake#skyrim fanfiction#red robin#batfam#crossover#lucien flavius#wip#kaidan skyrim#afewnovelideas

#elder scrolls dc #fanfiction #tim drake #skyrim fanfiction #red robin #batfam #crossover #lucien flavius #kaidan skyrim #wip #afewnovelideas

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dawnrider · 5 years

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One shot fluff prompt, I would love to see your take on this. Inuyasha as a single parent taking his adopted son, Shippo (they have more of a big brother/little brother bond) out to the book store to buy manga as he is starting to get into reading them. Spots the very beautiful Kagome (who works there)but is way too shy to go talk to her. After seeing her, he starts taking shippo there every weekend. Observant shippo notices this and encourages inuyasha to ask kagome out.

Ok Anon, I apologize for this taking so long to finish. Side effect of having too many WIPs and this one-shot inspiring a second more than fluffy part that has yet to be written. SOOO… I tweaked it a bit but it will fit your prompt more as the second part develops. I hope you like it!

Watching the red ponytail in front of him bob, Inuyasha tried to breathe shallowly while keeping track of his charge. There were so many people, so many smells, it was hard for him to focus. But he was responsible for Shippou and if he lost him in this crowd, they would probably arrest him… or something. This is all Miroku’s doing anyway, he thought with a scowl. He didn’t mind the kit, really, but the outings on a weekly basis were tough. Inuyasha didn’t deal with people well and Shippou was absolutely a people person. Everyone he met was practically his new best friend! The inuhanyou, on the other hand, often felt like a rock was sitting on his chest when he was in situations where he had to “chat” with people he didn’t know.

“Big Brothers and Big Sisters would be perfect!” Miroku had told him with the enthusiasm of someone knowing their idea would be denied out of hand. He was persistent though, keeping after his friend of over a decade until he finally caved and applied. Inuyasha was honestly a bit surprised they had accepted him. He was a business analyst who spent most of his time in a cubicle avoiding actual direct communication with his coworkers. That’s what email was for! He was stable, no record (surprisingly), and was successful on paper. But he was also boring and a hanyou. Not much to promote him as a child mentor.

Here he was, following a very animated nine-year-old kitsune through the congested streets of the city on “Comic Book Day” to go to the “best bookstore in town.” Not his favorite thing to do, especially on a weekend when it was bound to be busy. On top of it, people kept saying “May the Fourth be with you” and he was starting to feel like an idiot for not understanding why everyone thought the date today was so funny.

Squeezing between a tall man in a costume covered in brown fur and the door frame, Inuyasha scowled as he caught the back of Shippou’s shirt. “Hang on, Runt! I gotta be able to keep track of you.”

“I know, I know! But looook!” he sighed as his green eyes took in all of the books around them. There were large cardboard cutouts everywhere, and people in various levels of costume dress to rival the cutouts. Inuyasha let out a breath and tried to use his calmest tone.

“I know you’re excited, but if I lose you, your foster mom is gonna string me up by my toes.” Shippou snickered, but did settle himself enough to stick close by. Inuyasha felt his heart rate infinitesimally slow. With a close eye on the kid, he navigated the crowd with the goal of bumping into as few people as possible.

Then a scent caught his nose, a sweet and faintly floral note over a heavier one. Inuyasha and Shippou both started following their sense of smell without realizing it, meandering toward what they eventually recognized as the cafe. It was less crowded there for the moment, and the inuhanyou felt like his lungs could finally fill completely. Something about the combination of scents was soothing in a way he didn’t expect to find in such a crowded place.

~~~~~~

“May the fourth be with you!” The man startled, turning to find her behind the counter of the cafe. He stared blankly at her, struggling with what the appropriate response should be. “You know. Star Wars? The Force?” After a short moment his eyes widened and his mouth formed an oh of understanding. It was probably one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen. He wasn’t much into this stuff, but he was making such an obvious effort for the boy with him. It was sweet, even if he was a bit awkward. “Nathan had to remind me yesterday,” she whispered conspiratorially, nodding in the direction of her manager. He was dressed, not very well, as one of the big superheroes from a more recent movie. The man blinked his strangely colored eyes at her, then let a tiny smirk lift his lips.

“What is that smell?” the boy asked, coming up to the counter, red ponytail quivering as he openly sniffed in her direction. Kagome grinned and pointed to the glass case.

“Just took the almond croissants from the oven. The almond is pretty strong, huh?” The boy nodded emphatically.

“Butter. That was the other smell.”

Kagome blinked, not sure how to reply to the older man’s somewhat random statement. “Um. Yes! There’s quite a bit of butter in them.” She watched him pale, then the tiniest smile on his lips. That’s even cuter than before! she squealed internally. “You can try a sample…”

“I’m Shippou, and that’s my Big Brother, Inuyasha.” The boy paused. “But not like… my real brother, the program, you know?” She grinned in response, giving Inuyasha a quick glance before returning her full attention to the enthusiastic boy directly in front of her. He was eyeing the pastries expectantly, a glitter of hunger in his green eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Shippou and… Inuyasha, was it?” Kagome bit her lip at the adorable blush that rose on his cheeks at having her full attention on him. “You’re both welcome to try some, if you want.” Shippou showed no qualms in accepting the small piece of the sweet, Inuyasha hesitating a moment before stepping forward to let her put some in his palm. “Your cosplay is awesome, by the way,” she said with a glance at his hair and ears. He startled at her words, golden eyes widening and the previous flush returning with a vengeance.

“Oh. He’s not in costume. Inuyasha is a hanyou,” Shippou commented around a mouthful of croissant.

It was Kagome’s turn to pale. “Oh my… I’m sorry, that was so rude of me to assume!”

“Keh. S’alright.” His eyes dropped to the floor and she felt the loss of his gaze like the sun going behind a cloud. The guilt at hurting him like that stuck in her throat and her eyes watered. “Hey, it’s ok, really! D-Don’t cry!” he begged her, stepping up to the counter and waving his empty hand in a stunted attempt to calm her down. “Not many of us around, ya know?” he muttered, giving her a strained smile when she took a calming breath and blew it out slowly.

“Is it ok if I go look at that table?” Shippou asked, breaking them from their staring contest. Inuyasha followed his pointing finger to the table of children’s comic books just on the edge of the tiled floor that outlined the cafe’s space. He nodded, giving the boy a stern look that spoke volumes before leaning back against the counter. “Thanks!”

“He’s very exuberant.”

“You got no idea. He’s all over the place.” His voice turned sad. “Not surprising. Only kitsune in a foster home full of human kids. None of them can keep up with him.”

“That’s great that he’s got you then, isn’t it?” she said softly. Inuyasha glanced over his shoulder at her, a thoughtful look lowering his brows slightly.

“‘Spose so.”

~~~~~~

Her smile brightening after the previous near meltdown was a balm on his nerves. He did not deal with crying. Not at all. If she had started, he probably would have bolted and the kid would have been called in as abandoned… Stop spiraling, he scolded himself. “How long have you been part of the program?” she asked, moving around behind the counter to clean up little messes here, imaginary spots there. Inuyasha understood the need for movement when one felt uncomfortable.

“A few months. It was my friend’s idea.” He heard her pause. He realized that it might sound like he wasn’t all that interested in this very big responsibility. “I-I wanted to do it. It’s important.”

A beep perked his ears and he glanced back to see Kagome put a pan of something into the small oven on the back counter. “It is very important. Especially for kids who don’t have a lot of positive role models.” There was a repeat clicking sound as she set the timer. “My younger brother was part of the program as a Little Brother when he was in middle school.”

“O-Oh yea?” Inuyasha turned his body a bit so he could catch her gaze while still keeping an eye and ear on the kid. “Are you… are your… Um.”

“My father died when we were pretty young. Souta is six years younger than I am, so he never even knew him.”

“I’m sorry,” he responded a little awkwardly. She shrugged. “Did he feel like it was a good experience?”

“Yea. He’s still in contact with his Big Brother. He was even part of his wedding when he got married a few years ago.” Inuyasha nodded appreciatively. That’s the kind of experience he hoped he could give Shippou. To be someone he could rely on. Just need to figure out how to rely on myself. “It looks like you’re a good fit. He looks up to you, you know?”

Inuyasha blinked, staring at the young boy pouring over a colorful comic book with what looked like dragons on the cover. “You think so?” Shippou must have felt their attention, looking up before holding the paperback up for him to see the cover more clearly, grinning from ear to ear. Inuyasha tossed him a thumbs up and a slight smile.

“Pretty sure,” she giggled.

“Kagome! Are the sugar cookies ready for the decorating event?” The pair startled from their comfortable lean on the counter at the male voice that sliced through the murmur of voices inside the shop.

“Oh! Yes. They’re all cooled, Nathan.” Kagome pointed to the short rack of large cookie trays with nearly two dozen square cookies on them. He could smell the vanilla and sugar from where he stood. “I’m sorry, I have to get the tables set up.” Inuyasha nodded, but felt a bit deflated at the lost chance to keep talking with her. He actually liked talking with her. It was honestly the first time he’d had that thought during conversation with a stranger. A girl, at that!

“Keh.” He paused. “D-Do you need help?”

Kagome looked a little surprised, then smiled. “That would actually be great.” He checked in with Shippou, who was still flipping through comics, and got a waved hand and a sly grin in response. Inuyasha chose not to rise to the bait in that grin, jumping back in to keep Kagome from dropping a very large folding table on her foot.

The pair of them continued to chat as he deftly unfolded the table, helping Kagome move the cafe tables around so they could fit more chairs into the small space. It was easy talking with her, he noted, much more so than he ever would have imagined. She was patient with his hesitations, never laughed when he said something slightly off. Inuyasha barely felt the time fly by. When children started gathering at the tables, most younger than Shippou, he almost wanted to shoo them away. “Inuyasha…”

“Yea, I know. I should get the kid home.”

“No. Well… If you have to.” He took in her scent, surprised by the disappointment coloring it. Did she… not want him to leave? “There’s another event for young readers next week, if you have another outing with Shippou.”

“I… Yea, I’ll bring it up to him.” Inuyasha leveled her with a serious look for a moment. “You’ll be here then too?” The smile she gave him nearly stopped his heart. She was so beautiful… and kind and sweet and… and… “G-Good. Maybe we’ll see you then.” She nodded. “Save a couple of those almond things for us, alright? I’ll remember to bring cash next time.” He turned to look for Shippou again, taking a breath to settle his heart.

“Inuyasha, wait!” He stopped, spinning on his heel at her urgent call. She nearly collided with his chest in an effort to catch him. Inuyasha reached out to capture her elbows, not wanting her to tip backward. “Take one for the road?” she breathed, her dark eyes drawing him in. Her scent overpowered anything else in the cafe, even the previously overwhelming almond. Inuyasha found himself studying the way her personal fragrance tickled his senses, the feel of her soft skin against his fingertips. They both took a slightly shuddering breath, frozen in their half-embrace.

“Cool! You gonna split that with me, Inuyasha?” Shippou’s voice shocked them apart so fast, Kagome almost did stumble. The hanyou finally noticed the partially wrapped almond croissant in her hands between them, which had been at severe risk of being squashed a moment before. He smiled awkwardly, then accepted the pastry and softly thanked her. He moved off with Shippou bouncing beside him in anticipation of his half. “We’re so coming back here, aren’t we?” he asked when he finally had his piece and they were making their way back toward the public parking garage. Inuyasha shrugged, trying - and failing - to be nonchalant. “Yea, I thought so. You toooootally love her,” he cackled.

“W-What?! No!” Inuyasha balked at the bold statement. The kitsune kit was absolutely in his element, giggling and taunting him as he skipped down the sidewalk. “Hey Runt, that’s not funny. Grown ups don’t just…” He hesitated, not because he wasn’t sure of the right explanation, but because it was hitting him that it was not an entirely off accusation.

“Fall in love at first sight?” Shippou crowed with glee. Inuyasha snarled and snatched him up into a light headlock. Shippou only delighted in the playful back and forth, Inuyasha unable to sternly refute the kit’s words. What he did know was that they would be visiting the bookstore the following weekend. And likely the one after that, as long as Kagome was working again. Might pick up a reading habit, he thought as they got into his car, half the pastry stuck in his mouth as he put on his seat belt. There are worse things.

@lemonlushff, @fantastiqueparfait, @heavenin--hell, @clearwillow, @bearpluscat, @thunderpo, @keichanz, @meggz0rz, @disgruntledbeast, @sarah-writes-stories, @zelink-inukag, @rikareena, @cammysansstuff, @mcornilliac, @redflamesofpassion

I posted without tags the first and had to edit from memory!

#Anon Fluff Prompt #Anonymous #Dawnrider Fanfiction #Inuyasha one shot

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fredheads · 4 years

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WIP WEDNESDAY (special birthday edition)

i flopped hard and did not write a thing for @fredsythes birthday not a special fic and not even a chapter of my own debauchery that i was gonna pass off as a present real quick so in order to make it up here is an extra long wip wednesday for clown au ft. some real gay ass shit ❤️ 🧡 💛 💙 💜 💚🥰pls enjoy

Harry Clayton came jogging up to them then, no longer wearing the blue uniform of the Church School band. He had replaced his trombone in the Neibolt School music room, and had changed into blue jeans and a cream-coloured shirt. A canvas bag flapped against his shoulder. FP noted, almost unthinkingly, how pronounced the muscles in his legs and arms were. Harry was built more solidly than any of them, even Hal and Fred, who were the biggest and tallest, respectively.

“Hey,” said Harry abruptly, his eyes sliding over Hiram and FP before landing on Fred. “I saw him,” Harry confided, lowering his voice. “The clown. As we were going up Main Street Hill I saw him passing out balloons to kids.

“It was the same one you talked about. He had a silver suit with orange buttons. And orange hair. And he was smiling, but… there was something wrong about him. He was facing away when I saw him, but as soon as I recognized him he looked at me. And something about him… it scared me. And the paint on his mouth was dripping. It looked like blood.”

“I told you!” Hiram suddenly shrieked. He threw his ice cream on the ground and covered his face with his hands. “I told you! It’s here!”

‘Let’s go,” said Fred quickly. His mouth had hardened into a thin line, and his jaw was taut. He touched FP’s shoulder abruptly, and a warmth flared from the place where his fingers pressed. Fred steered them towards the road. “We should f-find the others. Have you g-got the s-s-slides, Harry?”

“Yeah.” Harry patted his bag. “My dad’s got a lot of stuff about Riverdale. It goes back a long time.”

“Why’s your dad care so much?” FP asked. His own ice cream had melted down to a stump of cone, and he threw it on the ground as they walked.

“He thinks it’s interesting. He told me once it was because he wasn’t born here. It’s like he came in in the middle of a movie and-”

“He w-wants to see the s-start,” Fred said, and Harry smiled at him.

“Exactly.”

They found Hal, Mary, and Alice together at the fence bordering the tilt-a-whirl. Mary had been marching with the Boy Scouts, and was wearing her neckerchief and neatly pressed uniform. Alice was eating a stick of spun pink cotton candy and laughing at something one of the others had said. FP gauged by the exhilarated and terrified look on Hal’s face that they might have spent the morning together. The bigger boy was blushing so badly that FP expected smoke to start spiraling out of his ears.

“W-We’re g-going to my h-house,” Fred explained. “H-Harry’s going to s-show us the puh-pictures.”

The smiles disappeared from their faces, replaced by the serious looks of small adults. They walked in a solemn pack through the crowded streets and away from the festival, pushing their bikes by the handlebars. Fred’s house stood vacant and quiet, though music and fanfare from downtown floated very faintly over the tops of the neighbourhood trees. A tattered row of pinwheels turned doggedly in his neighbour’s garden. Fred pulled up the garage door and began setting up the projector while the others pulled up boxes and stools to use as chairs.

FP stared at a photo tacked above Artie Andrews’ workbench. It was a ragged snapshot of the Andrews family on vacation. Oscar was there, sandwiched between his mother and father with a hand in each of theirs. And Fred was standing at his father’s shoulder, his head leaning against Artie’s arm, beaming at the camera. He looked very young and very happy.

FP had a fantasy sometimes of telling Mr. and Mrs. Andrews off for the way they treated Fred. In this fantasy he was usually over at the Andrews house, maybe eating dinner or sitting with Fred at the kitchen island. The air was thick and painful, and Fred was trying to talk to his parents, and they were ignoring him. FP could see the tears welling up in Fred’s eyes, and his jaw was clenched like he was trying his hardest to be brave, but he was hurting. FP saw him hurting and it made him lose his cool a bit.

In this daydream he jumped up and laid into both of them, really blew up and gave them the business. Fred looked embarrassed, a little, but grateful too. He looked at FP with stars in his eyes, like no one had ever done something like that for him before. FP indulged himself in this vision the way he did his dreams of becoming a rock star or a stand up comic in his adult life - it had the same mythical, incandescent quality as those daydreams, though this particular one recurred with frightening severity.

“You’d better start treating your son right,” he told Mr. and Mrs. Andrews. In this fantasy he also had a strong, gravelly tough-guy voice, like he smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. He was suave. He meant business. “Do you hear me? Oscar’s gone, but Fred’s not. Fred’s still here. And your son is the smartest, strongest person I’ve ever met, and you don’t even know it.”

His arm would go around Fred, then, wrapping around his broad back and holding him tight. Fred’s parents looked shamed, but FP wasn’t done. No, they’d know when he was done. He was just getting started. “This whole time you’ve been ignoring him he’s been braver than you’ve ever been in your life,” FP told them, and his voice rang out across the dining room clear as a bell.

Sometimes Artie started to give him some trouble, but FP stopped him cold every time.

“Don’t make me hurt you,” he would say to Artie Andrews, cracking his knuckles. “I don’t wanna hurt you, but I swear to God, I will. If you make him cry again, I swear to God you’ll regret it.” (He savoured these particular words like spun sugar in his mouth, reciting them sometimes in the veil between dreaming and waking like an actor rehearsing for his opening scene.)

Fred would pull on his sleeve, but FP wouldn’t be calmed. He was a loose cannon. “I��m not crying,” Fred would say sometimes, wiping his eyes and trying to be brave, and that would make FP hold him tighter.

Artie always apologized. They both did. “Don’t say sorry to me, you say sorry to him,” FP would order, and Fred would turn to him with those wide, adoring eyes in which FP could see reflected all the stars in the universe, and a tear would tremble on the rim of his lower lashes.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Fred would say when they were alone. He wouldn’t stutter either - FP would have fixed that one up too.

“Sure I did, kid,” FP said. “You’re my best friend, aren’t you?”

And Fred would smile at him, a smile that was brave and hopeful and then he would

(NO! NO NO NO!)

(yes yes he would KISS-)

kiss FP on the cheek, only here the dream would be so bright and wonderful that FP would come to in a start, would throw it off blushing with his tongue drier than sawdust and his stomach cramping madly, the dream and reality overlapping in lovely translucent strips so that flashes of it were still visible - Fred’s hand on his wrist, Fred’s hot dry lips on his cheek, and then he would leave it entirely with superhuman effort and go back to the start like rewinding a tape, sitting at the kitchen table, telling Fred’s parents that they’d better wise up.

He got as far as telling Artie off the second time around when he looked up suddenly and realized he was the only one still standing in the middle of the garage. Mary was sitting on a folding chair to his right, asking him what the hell he was doing. FP dropped quickly onto a nearby crate and shook the dream out of his head.

“Just thinking me thinks,” he said glibly, crossing one ankle on top of his knee and bouncing it, and Mary shook her head slightly and turned away.

Fred pulled down the garage door, sealing out the light. In the moment before FP’s eyes adjusted to the pitch black, he had a horrible thought. Suppose something reached out of the dark and grabbed his neck, or a set of teeth fastened in his leg? Suppose the clown was behind them all now? Then the projector flashed on, illuminating a square of flat garage wall, and the breath came back to his body.

“Some of these pictures go back hundreds of years, my dad said,” Harry explained. He was feeding slides into Artie Andrews’ projector, his broad shoulders silhouetted very handsomely in the blue light. “When you all were talking about the clown, I realized I’d seen something like it before. And after I saw it today, I’m sure I recognized him.”

“You recognized him?” Alice asked, sounding horrified.

“Look.”

The slide clicked into place, throwing an outline of a photo on the garage wall. The projection was a scan of a black-and-white ink sketch, showing a clown entertaining a group of children. The children were smiling, but the clown was not. Its mouth drooped down in a sorrowful frown, its eyes gloomy black pits. There was an awful aura about the antique photo, as though the black and white lines radiated malice.

PENNYWISE THE CLOWN read old-timey writing across the bottom.

“What’s the date on this?” Hal asked.

“My dad says this one is from the early seventeen hundreds. Back when Riverdale was just a beaver trapping camp.”

This phenomenal news rocketed FP into action. “Still is! Am I right, boys?” FP shoved Hiram hard with his elbow and threw a hand up for a high five. Hiram looked at him blankly. Fred frowned. Mary shook her head at him until FP put his hand back down.

#it au #wip wednesday #fred andrews #fp jones #parentdale

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goldenkamuyhunting · 4 years

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Ramblings about the changes in vol 21

So, as promised, I wanted to ramble a bit about the huge changes in vol 21 and how they impact on the characters.

I’ll divide them according to affected characters.

For the visual I recommend you checking my previous post “Quick outline of the changes in Golden Kamuy Vol 21 ”.

We’ll start first with those who were only vaguely affected to progress with the ones who were HUGELY affected.

TANIGAKI

Ironically Tanigaki, who’s on the cover of the volume is the least one to be affected by changes… but well, they’re an improvement for him.

While in the magazine version Tanigaki only said he was sure Inkarmat was well and they should go visit her once back, which implied a baseless confidence in her recovery without him not even attempting to check on it and a medium wish to see her again, now Tanigaki talks of receiving telegrams confirming she has recovered and her urgency to see her as soon as he’s back is more marked.

It’s overall nothing big but gives the impression he cared more about her than in the magazine and therefore make smoother how he’ll want to go back to her in what will likely be vol 23.

He also seemed more involved in the vision of the movie, as if to imply for him too that scene was a touching moment of bonding with Chikapasi. Nice but it’s still pretty weak and underwhelming.

TSUKISHIMA

Tsukishima also get minor changes. I like to think some of them give his feelings more deep.

However it’s worth to mention something before talking about the changes in Tsukishima and this something is that in vol 20 the scene was changed so that Tsukishima was present when Ogata called Koito ‘Barchonok’ (Барчонок ‘pampered little rich boy’) so I expect this change would affect the plot of vol 21. This wasn’t the case. The scene in which Koito mention such a word in chap 201 is completely unchanged, Tsukishima not recognizing it in the slightest and if he recognized it in chap 210, when Koito contextualized it… well, it’s hard to say as the scene is again unchanged.

So what changed?

Tsukishima was less pushy when, in chap 205, he tried to get Sugimoto to talk with Asirpa, as this time he doesn’t say they’ve no time before Tsurumi will get there. I’m not sure why this was removed as Tsukishima will be pushy as they make the movie but maybe this merely interrupted the flow of Sugimoto’s words.

We see an interesting thing. When Noda redraw chap 103, he removed Ogata’s smiles as he talked to his father. In the volume version Ogata will remain serious through the whole talk and smile only at the end and when he talks to Tsurumi.

Instead here Noda had Tsukishima, who in the magazine was serious, smile as he says he was tricked too. Tsukishima also digs more in Tsurumi’s deception, saying how Tsurumi poured affection into a place in him that was wilted away so as to better describe how meaningful for Tsukishima was what Tsurumi did. That moment in which Tsurumi made him feel he was important enough for Tsurumi to go so far Tsukishima should have felt really impressed… and it’s meaningful how there seems to be tears in his eyes, when he says that it’s fine for him if he was used and that his life didn’t matter much to him.

Tsukishima is saying it’s fine but it actually pains him.

Tsukishima becomes a good example of how men sometimes smile when they’re in pain not because they’re happy but because in that way they seem/feel more in control, their smile being actually a bitter one and of how one might say he’s okay and instead think the opposite.

KOITO

Changes about Koito are also fundamentally minor but they work to flesh out his feelings better in consideration of how Koito’s perception of the world and stance are going to change.

Personally I found interesting how Noda added Koito saying ‘like his Excellency Hanazawa and Ogata Hyakunosuke… like that parent and child’. The sentence remarks their parent/child relation and the parallel with himself and his father. It draws a connection between his situation and Ogata’s, allowing Koito to humanize someone he has always despised but, at the same time, strongly implying Koito’s judgment is strongly tied to his own perception of father/child relations.

It’s hard to judge where this will lead but I think Koito’s view of Ogata, while talking with Tsukishima, has shifted completely from the previous view he had. Probably he felt him closer, both tricked, both, according to Koito, caring about their parents. Koito, who strongly wants his father’s approbation, despised Ogata for betraying Hanazawa’s memory and rebelling but if Ogata was pursuing revenge for his father… well, I think Koito thought this he could approve.

Koito now looks a lot less happy and comfortable to see Tsurumi so, differently from the manga, it’s much more clear he was faking when he pretended to be impressed by how far Tsurumi went to get him. Therefore, even though later he’ll decide to still put faith in Tsurumi, from now on he’s clearly no more a compliant and enthusiastically blind follower.

SHIRAISHI

Minor changes for Shiraishi too but they are relevant enough. Shiraishi qualifies as a smart guy who can watch things objectively and has a better grasp of the situation.

In the volume version in fact, he’s present when Sugimoto and Asirpa discuss, so he heard their little chat but he clearly wasn’t involved. Asirpa asked for Sugimoto’s opinion and Sugimoto first missed the point of her worry (the Ainu, not herself) and then gave a pretty unrealistic reply, at which Shiraishi left, with the result he ends up overhearing half of Koito and Tsukishima’s discussion. Actually, if he got out just after he left Sugi and Asirpa he overheard part of Koito’s accusations and all of Tsukishima’s confession.

In this way the volume tells us that Shiraishi might have heard quite a good part of their chat… and while he was completely sober.

The following changes are in the discussion he has with Sugimoto. In the magazine Shiraishi said Asirpa isn’t the Asirpa he knew anymore. In the volume he says she isn’t the Asirpa he first met. It’s overall similar but I think here Shiraishi remarks more not so much that Asirpa has changed as a person but that what she has learnt had pushed her into different goals. The Asirpa Sugimoto met was unaware of many things and thought since she didn’t need the gold she could happily hand it out to Sugimoto and Shiraishi and lived a life unaware of how Ainu could end up. Present Asirpa wants the gold to be used for the Ainu, she’s more aware of the situation of her people and wants to improve it.

It’s a different type of change in her, one not given by an abrupt shift in her character but by a greater awareness of the world around her.

Character wise Asirpa is still the same. She doesn’t want to kill, she loves her people, she’s a glutton at heart. But now she has knowledge of the world around her, of the dangers for her people. It’s as if she’d sampled the forbidden fruit of knowledge and can’t turn back anymore. This is what Asirpa had been trying to tell Sugimoto, that it’s not that she doesn’t want to go back to say citatap and hinna hinna, it’s not that those things don’t interest her anymore, is that she knows she can’t because her way of living, her people, are in danger.

Always in that same discussion Shiraishi points out something else that’s really relevant and that before he didn’t mention. He basically questions Sugimoto’s ‘naïve belief’ Tsurumi might care about the Ainu. Sugimoto in the volume told Asirpa Ainu would have a use for Tsurumi as a workforce (which, let’s be honest, is not really a great option as this would imply Ainu should leave their own way to live and start to work in Tsurumi’s army factories or in his opium factories so bye-bye Ainu lifestyle). Shiraishi’s question points out not only how this is naïve, but that he doesn’t think Sugimoto himself believes this.

(Note that Tsukishima and Koito didn’t talk about the Ainu so the fact that this is naive is something Shiraishi figured by himself)

Shiraishi in short is showing he understands the Ainu cause is important for Asirpa and, in a way that probably surprises him as well, he has sort of grown to care for it as well and is basically asking Sugimoto if he’s stupid, delusional or a liar when he’s saying Tsurumi would care about the Ainu. I won’t dig into Sugimoto now because I’ll talk about him later but in the volume version Shiraishi comes out as someone who got a more objective look on the situation and a better grasp to what Tsurumi wants as well as even more critical of Sugimoto’s actions than in the magazine.

The last change is very minor. In the magazine Shiraishi throws up, distracting Tsurumi in such a providential way it seemed done on purpose. In the volume version Shiraishi doesn’t throw up, he burps when Tsurumi claims he wants everyone’s happiness and to cooperate with Asirpa which sounds more like a sound of lack of disbelief, even if his face is slightly shadowed. Personally I prefer this change. We already saw Shiraishi getting drunks but in the morning he was always fine. Even though it was clear this time he came back completely wasted (and I wonder if Vol 22 will develop him more) he had also thrown up twice with Sugimoto. He shouldn’t have anything anymore in his stomach.

If anything the only thing I question is that they still have used him as a comic relief not having him escape with Sugimoto and Asirpa but allowing an arrow to hit him. Changing this would have been appreciated.

ASIRPA

Changes about Asirpa are very relevant for how we read Asirpa. Sure, if you want they take from her a ‘first glance’ intuition that however seemed unrealistic but Asirpa becomes more thoughtful and more proactive and determinate. Even more she doesn’t let others order her around but demands for explanations and take her own decisions.

We start really tame, with Noda remarking how Tanigaki’s words about how they can’t try helping Shiraishi because if the sniper is Ogata, the target is Asirpa.

Let’s go back to that scene and look to a bit that remains the same in the volume.

When Vasily started shooting they immediately realized the one shooting them was a ‘sniper’ (狙撃手) and not a random guy. Asirpa sweats slightly hearing the word ‘sniper’, repeating it as Noda shadows her face with an uniform toner. Asirpa knows who the sniper could be and it tosses on her a shadow.

They will however need the sniper to shoot again before Tsukishima (or is he Tanigaki? Hard to say as we don’t see the speaker) will claim the sniper has to be Ogata Hyakunosuke, something Sugimoto also thought, since as he runs toward the sniper he thinks he’s gonna fight Ogata.

When Tsukishima states so, Asirpa’s face is shown again but, although she’s sweating because she realizes the situation is serious, there is no shadow on her face. I take it’s a hint that Tsukishima’s words merely confirmed what she had thought but didn’t verbalize, that the attacked could be Ogata.

Noda didn’t feel the need to add a shading here.

We go on, Tsukishima points out how Sugimoto is moving to attack Ogata and Koito points out how it’s weird Ogata would forget to check on Sugimoto.

Asirpa worries about saving Shiraishi and Tanigaki tells her they can’t because if it’s Ogata it’s her he wants to kill. And Noda here, in the volume version, added a shading but not an uniform shading like when Asirpa heard the word ‘sniper’ but a swirling shading.

Of course it’s possible it’s just because he wanted to remark which sort of burden Tanigaki pushed on Asirpa. It’s due to her that Shiraishi got shoot, because Ogata wanted to kill HER.

But, I wonder, if Noda didn’t want to hint more here.

Later in fact, Asirpa will question herself and the others about Ogata.

For start she question if he’ll come back at which Sugimoto replies she’s the key to the gold so there’s a chance he’ll do.

Asirpa doesn’t reply at first, then mentions how Ogata ACTED LIKE HE WAS GOING TO KILL HER. If she’s the key to the gold, killing her means giving up on the gold. It’s also interesting she doesn’t say he attempted to kill her, but that he acted as if he was going to do so. Asirpa knows two things Sugimoto doesn’t know.

The first is that Ogata encouraged her to shoot him, deliberately gave her reason to do so and time to do so. The second is that when she hit him, he smiled as if he had got exactly what he wanted.

Honestly I’m not sure she understood most of what Ogata said as she should need previous knowledge about his father and brother.

There’s a third thing Asirpa might have realized but, on this, I’m not sure. She knows first-hand Ogata is very fast but, although both of them were supposedly startled by Sugimoto’s scream, while she let go her arrow in surprise, Ogata didn’t push the trigger. His eyes remained on her but he made no attempt to harm her even though he threatened her about it.

To sum it up when Asirpa basically rejected him Ogata’s first instinct wasn’t to kill her, it was trying to goad her into killing him, although he threatened her to do so he didn’t and, lastly, killing her would lead him nowhere. He still wouldn’t have the gold.

I think that swirling shading might be there to point out how Asirpa had tried to let the whole thing of the drift ice behind her, maybe hoping after Ogata’s escape she wouldn’t see him again, forgetting the whole thing as she had attempted to do with her father’s memories the first time she believed Wilk died but Tanigaki’s words brought it all back and with it, the need to figure the whole thing out.

Not only Ogata’s behavior made no sense from her point of view but also the idea he’d really want to kill her makes no sense either and it’s possible Noda felt a shading was needed to hint how it was Tanigaki’s sentence that triggered Asirpa’s following questioning.

The second change actually refers to what Sugimoto will say to Vasily but, as Asirpa overhears him and that conversation ties with another conversation she will have with Sugimoto, this will become relevant.

In fact originally in the magazine Sugimoto said just because the world Asirpa was looking at had him in it, this cleaned him and he thought he could be saved. There were many reasons due to which Sugimoto could think so, starting with him thinking that if someone as pure as Asirpa were to be friend with him, this somehow made him a better person.

So in the magazine Asirpa saying Sugimoto was doing it merely because he saw himself as a child in her, felt as Asirpa hugely interpreting what she overheard Sugimoto saying. Sure, she was right, but since Sugimoto’s original sentence was so different, it felt like a huge leap.

Now instead not only her words aren’t anymore that distant from Sugimoto’s words but the type of burden pushed on her changes.

In the magazine her existence somehow made Sugimoto feel he could be purified and he saw this as a chance of salvation.

In the volume her existence is just a reminder Sugimoto was like her once, he sees himself in her so he wants to protect her the way he couldn’t protect himself. For Asirpa, who has a crush for Sugimoto, it’s clearly something painful because Sugimoto doesn’t want to protect her for herself, but because he sees himself in her.

Sure, it pushes on her less responsibility than being considered a ‘purifying deity’ or some sort of ‘purifying shaman’ but, at the same time, it denies her as her own person and it makes the matter worse how, when this is discussed, she learns her father too didn’t see her as her own person but as a way to continue his own partisan fight.

Both Wilk and Sugimoto are pushing their own wishes on her (we’ll debate another time on who has the best wish for her) without considering her own.

They don’t ask her which sort of future she wants, they decide for her which future is the best for her, the future THEY WANT.

It clearly pushes Asirpa, who was so proud of choosing for herself her own fate, in an unpleasant place… until, at the end of the volume, she’ll take back the reins of her own life. But we’ll discuss about this in a while.

It’s a tiny change but Asirpa is less of a rabid movie director in the volume. Asirpa is generally not particularly polite but not overly rude so maybe Noda decided to remove it not fitting with her character.

The next change is about the discussion Sugimoto and Asirpa will have as they wait for Tsurumi to come.

In the magazine Asirpa asked Sugimoto what he would do afterward, if he would cooperate with Tsurumi, to which Sugimoto didn’t reply.

The volume removed this scene because it was plainly stupid. Asirpa had already asked Sugimoto what he was going to do in chap 192. The volume even expanded the magazine scene. Having her ask it again with Sugimoto not replying to it didn’t really make much sense.

The other change to the scene has Sugimoto answers to Asirpa’s question about what will happen to the Ainu. In the magazine he said nothing. Here he said that since Asirpa knows the code she has an advantage over Tsurumi and can get him to do what she wants. Although Asirpa is doubtful this actually works much better for Asirpa’s character.

In fact, in the magazine, despite having shown she cared so much about the Ainu and wanted the gold to be used for their benefit, after Sugimoto told her about how terrible it would be if she were to have to kill someone, the fact she doesn’t oppose to being handed to Tsurumi even if Sugimoto doesn’t know what will happen to the Ainu afterward makes her look as if she is considering giving up on protecting the Ainu interests to protect herself from killing.

Sure, later in the magazine she’ll claim she’ll understand which sort of man Tsurumi is just by watching him and, as what she saw didn’t please her, she’ll escape but… we’ll discuss about this later and as if this happened in chap 211 it clearly made her look way too remissive in chap 210.

Here instead, Asirpa’s apparent compliance can be explained with her thinking that agreeing can still work to protect the Ainu, that by giving the gold to Tsurumi the Ainu still have lot to gain.

In short the change it doesn’t make Asirpa consider giving up on the Ainu for her own wish to protect herself. They’re always her first thought and she’s considering going through Sugimoto’s plan because he presents it as one from which the Ainu could still possibly benefit.

And so we reach the hugest change in the story.

As mentioned before, in the magazine Asirpa states she’ll understand which sort of man Tsurumi is just by looking at him. Apparently Tsurumi saying her she has her father’s eyes didn’t impress her positively because she decides to escape a second later.

In the volume Asirpa doesn’t claim she’ll decide which sort of man Tsurumi is just by a glance, she just listen to Sugimoto who, for the second time, tells her everything will go well.

It’s Tsurumi who basically fails to act smoothly, evidently undervaluing her. In fact he begins immediately making clear he plans to part Asirpa from Sugimoto and Shiraishi.

This causes Asirpa to smell disaster and she begins to question Tsurumi asking him why they aren’t going together. Tsurumi, evidently thinking he’s dealing with a child, claims it’s just because there isn’t enough space for them in the ship but Asirpa reminds him he said afterward Sugimoto and Shiraishi would have to remain on stand-by at Wakkanai, meaning she won’t wait for them nor they would reach her.

She asks to know where he’s taking her to which Tsurumi gives a dismissive answer ‘I’ll tell you later’.

As Sugimoto sweats but says nothing Asirpa continues to question Tsurumi, demanding to know if he’s trying to divide her from Sugimoto.

Tsurumi denies this, claiming she will be able to meet Sugimoto wherever she wants, they’re just aiming to bring her to a safe place because everyone is targeting her.

Asirpa isn’t deterred by this.

She remarks that her father only told Hijikata Toshizou about her existence, which might imply she’s starting to wonder how Tsurumi knew about her, and how he did so in order for her to oversee that the gold were to be used for the Ainu’s sake.

So she demands to know if he’s really going to take care of the Ainu in his future plans.

Tsurumi tries to give her one of his propaganda talks, they aim for a future in which everyone is happy and they want her cooperation (which we know is a lie as a previous page made clear they actually plan to keep her trapped in a jail until they got the skin and the Ariko chapters made clear Tsurumi forces people to cooperate with them by blackmailing them).

Asirpa insists she won’t help him if the gold isn’t used for the Ainu. She’s calm yet firm, she’s not sweating, only frowning slightly.

From this exchange Asirpa comes out as someone who’s confident, who doesn’t bow easily and who can read between lines. She doesn’t fall for Tsurumi’s fake reassurances and pretty words, she insists on her line and trying to protect her interests. In a way she is left alone to face Tsurumi as Sugimoto won’t say a word against Tsurumi’s plan and Shiraishi only makes a mocking sound.

It’s worth to mention though that Tsurumi’s emotions play to Asirpa’s advantage. Tsurumi’s brain fluids keeps on dripping always a bit more and he’s clearly reminded of Wilk more than once as he watches her. This is probably why, even though Tsurumi is a consumed liar, he snaps and tosses against her how that gold was a war fund to kill Japanese.

In short he stop trying to smooth Asirpa into doing what he says and tries to scare her into compliance, which surprises his own men.

While I think in a way his answer is what Asirpa wanted, as with such answer he reveals his not benevolent feelings toward the Ainu, Asirpa wasn’t prepared to him attacking her like that.

She sweats as she replies that the few Ainu who had that goal in mind died, that not all the Ainu want to fight and that the usage of the gold should be for the Ainu who are alive in the present to decide.

Tsurumi takes this as Asirpa claiming she’ll inherit and follow Wilk’s wishes and that she has his eyes. Then as he starts laughing hysterically, brain fluids dropping everywhere Asirpa will take her decision to escape which now makes a lot more sense than in the manga as Tsurumi has clearly proved himself as a man with malicious intentions toward her and toward the Ainu, a liar who tried to manipulate her into compliance and someone who’s not all right in the mind.

I won’t stop talking about this much, although the fact Tsurumi tattled out he knew Wilk’s eye colour, combined with how he knew about her existence (something Wilk revealed only to Hijikata), might have helped her to realize he knew her father personally (and might have been what pushed her to escape in the magazine as that her eyes looked like her father’s was the only thing Tsurumi managed to tell her).

I’ll focus more on Asirpa’s last sentence. Skipping for a moment how she continues to affirm she believes the Ainu gold should be used for the Ainu which was something she always claimed wanting, her previous statement regards how she claims that the Ainu who wanted to kill the Japanese were few and had died.

The cynical person that’s in me and who knows how partisans work felt like this is just her assumption. She can’t really know if there are more people like that or not.

Partisans work in secrecy, if there were some they wouldn’t openly discuss this around, especially with someone who is, by their standards, a child.

In short I speculated there should have been partisans in Hokkaido, it was just Asirpa didn’t know about them.

On the other side I assumed Asirpa’s idea that there aren’t Ainu who would want to kill the Japanese, or that those are a negligible minority, is not merely due to her religious belief killing is wrong and all Ainu would abide to this precept, but because she’s not really informed on how partisans work.

In fact not only she didn’t go to school but this wasn’t exactly a common concept among Japanese people at the time.

In fact Ushiyama, an adult man, had never heard the word and Hijikata had to explain it to him (chap 70).

The previous Ainu rebellions were due to Ainu clans deciding to fight against each other or against Japanese. From an Ainu perspective they were wars, battles or occasional uprising. Even the gold, although collected in secrecy, was collected by villages, not by a bunch of men in secrecy.

So Asirpa might be completely ignorant on how partisans would operate, how they would hid among her people, acting one way and thinking another, meeting in secret and keeping their identities secret.

As there’s no such malcontent between Ainu villages that they would revolt, for an Ainu like Asirpa, it would be reasonable to assume they wouldn’t revolt, that the Ainu who died moving the gold supposedly because they wanted to use it to wage war, were ‘oddities’ without real support.

Despite her religious beliefs she knows Ainu can kill, not only they too have murderers, but Ainu went to the Russo-Japanese war, Kiroranke and Ariko being veterans from it and Makanakkuru knowing many other Ainu veterans so it’s hard she could have been unaware of Ainu killing people existing. So I don’t think she ruled the idea out just because Ainu don’t kill but merely because Ainu didn’t act as if they were willing to wage wars. There was no such malcontent (conditions that spurred the rebellions were way more terrible than the ones we see in GK) and there were no councils of war and for her this is probably what’s matter. Even if she were to take into consideration there could be one or two Ainu willing to kill Japanese, in the great scheme of thing one or two people couldn’t wage war and therefore wouldn’t matter.

This would cause her to completely miss the existence of partisans because she doesn’t know well how they work (Kiroranke told her something about their partisan life but I think he wasn’t detailed enough and she might have mistaken their secrecy for them having been involved in the emperor’s murder and being fugitive) and therefore she would be unable to spot signs of their existence in Hokkaido, not mentioning she doesn’t know all the Ainu of Hokkaido, although she definitely knows many people in various town and travelled through it (Asirpa knows where they’re going during their travels, she has an idea of where her relatives are and how Ainu of certain regions live so maybe she travelled around with Wilk).

It doesn’t help Wilk completely overlook that part of her training. Although he wanted her to be a guerrilla fighter, he hadn’t taught her secrecy and lack of faith as well as he didn’t toughen her up to ready her to kill people nor, apparently, made her politically aware of Ainu condition, of his past and his belonging to partisans.

Long story short, my feelings were there was a tight network of partisans and Asirpa just didn’t know because she lacked the instrument to spot it. You can’t find something of which you don’t truly know the look. Even if it were placed under your eyes you wouldn’t recognize it, same as she didn’t recognize Kiro was a partisan, nor did Sugimoto, who only though he was a competitor for the possession of the gold.

It will be Inkarmat who’ll inform the group about how Wilk was a partisan but from the way she describes the partisan movement to Asirpa, she doesn’t seem aware of how it works because from the way she describes how Wilk was hurt, it’s clear she seems to think of him having been involved in a real battle, which not only is false but also unlikely as the partisans’ modus operandi isn’t actually to give battle to the enemy.

From the way Inkarmat put it she also doesn’t consider a possible involvement of partisans from Hokkaido, who might have joined forces with the ones in Russia and no one corrects her belief.

No one expects partisans to exist in Hokkaido, even Sugimoto who at first was afraid of Ainu assumed there would be rebellious villages, not men plotting in secrecy.

After all it’s meaningful in Japanese the word “partisan” is “パルチザン”, which is merely the katakana version of the French word “partisan” and the same goes for the word “guerrilla”, “ゲリラ”, the Katakana version of the Spanish word “guerrilla”. Japanese people didn’t have such word, they adopted it from other cultures so it’s possible to assume back then they didn’t know well how such things worked.

However, as I was discussing in Discord about it, two things dawned on me.

The first is that actually so far Golden Kamuy had given us no single proof such partisans exist.

Hijikata do not search their alliance, nor, apparently, did Kiro or Wilk. In fact Wilk was supposed to contact the partisans and revolutionaries in Russia, not to rally the help of the partisans in Hokkaido, and Kiro too wants the help of the revolutionaries in Russia, and doesn’t search the one of the partisans in Hokkaido.

Also Wilk, who tried to get Hijikata to find his daughter, didn’t give him names of Ainu partisans who would join him. Even with all his faith in Asirpa, leaving his daughter, a young girl, alone into an allegiance with Japanese men is risky, it would be much better if Asirpa were to have Ainu allies to support her.

The Ainu who join Hijikata are Kirawus, who apparently did it because he searched for money and who met Hijikata coincidentally and Ariko who was yes, the son of one of the Ainu moving the gold, but he’s clearly not a partisan.

As for the Ainu who helped Wilk to move the gold, they didn’t necessarily have to be partisans. As Boutarou figured out, before it was moved, there were too many people already who knew where it was. Wilk could have managed to persuade the Ainu the Japanese government had found out where it was as well and planned to steal it, so that the Ainu would have to relocate it in a more secret place.

Long story short yes, it can be it just wasn’t in the Hokkaido Ainu culture to be ‘partisans’, that they simply didn’t conceive such a way of fighting, so there weren’t partisans, just some unhappy people who wouldn’t really manage to do much harm.

The other important thing is that… well, even if Asirpa had been aware of Hokkaido pullulating of partisans she couldn’t really tell Tsurumi this in such a situation. She was testing ground to see if an allegiance was possible, giving him a speech about how Hokkaido had plenty of Ainu who wanted to kill him would have only sparked animosity toward the Ainu in a moment in which Japanese had a army to fight them while Ainu had not.

So it’s hard to judge Asirpa’s reply since it’s actually the only reply she could give regardless of her knowing/believing partisan existed or not.

The last change is rather small but Noda added a sentence in which he made clear Asirpa’s position.

She says that between going back to her village and WAGE WAR to protect the Ainu there’s only an option she can take. This paints her intentions as much more belligerent than they were in the volume and makes clear that, if Sugimoto is her partner, she wants his support in THIS.

In short she comes out as a much more determinate Asirpa. I think there might be changes in vol 22 as well, so it’s possible that it’s by this point Asirpa starts to consider she could murder people to protect the Ainu and not some chapter later, just to protect Sugimoto.

However we’ll need to wait and see.

SUGIMOTO

Sugimoto… well, he goes though a lot of changes but, in a way, except for a couple, most of them don’t play in his favor in the sense they mostly don’t show him acting better than in the magazine (except in one instance) but digs more and more into how terrible and self serving Sugimoto’s plan was, even if his intentions were good, so that the volume is ultimately a VERY HARSH critic to Sugimoto’s idea it would be better for Asirpa to be handed to Tsurumi.

The first change is minor but, as I’ve already commented, it’s probably also relevant. Noda removed the light in Sugimoto’s eyes when he runs toward where Vasily is, persuaded the attacked is Ogata.

I take this is Noda’s attempt to hint that what Sugimoto wants to do is no good for him on a psychological level, as the lack of light in people’s eyes often hints ‘inner dead’ (see for example Sekiya’s eyes prior to his daughter’s death and after he realized she died). I like to think this hints at how Sugimoto’s wish to kill Ogata is actually psychologically harming Sugimoto who was a man who started this adventure saying he wasn’t a murderer and that he would only kill if someone were to try to kill him back… but now he’s running to kill Ogata not so much because he thinks Ogata is holding his friends at gunpoint but because Sugimoto wants to kill him, because when Ogata escaped he remarked his wish Ogata would come back so he could ‘fucking kill him’. This is no more self defense, ‘oh, I didn’t want to kill him but he attacked me so I had to’, this is more ‘I want to kill you so, please, please, please, give me a reason to fulfill my wish’.

And of course since Sugimoto doesn’t want to be a murderer, longing to murder someone clashes directly with this.

The second change refers to what Sugimoto will say to Vasily.

In fact originally in the magazine Sugimoto said just because the world Asirpa was looking at had him in it, this cleaned him and he thought he could be saved. This caused Asirpa to look like she was an entity who, just by turning her gaze on him, would wash away his sins, sort of like a goddess giving him her blessing.

And just to be clear, this is not romantic, this is delusional. Even though ‘Golden Kamuy’ has joked Asirpa was Jesus not even Jesus would clean people of sins at random, just by happening to look at them when they weren’t even planning to stop sinning. Pushing on Asirpa the role of his magical sin-washing-machine was pretty terrible.

Noda then decided to change this for the volume version, a change that was probably already planned not much later that chapter was printed as Asirpa’s words in chap 206 matches with what she overheard in the volume version, not in the magazine version.

So in the volume version Sugimoto says when he watches Asirpa he thinks he can be saved merely because he retained part of his purity which he had when he was a child.

Long story short in Asirpa Sugimoto sees the ‘little Saichi’. As he thinks ‘little Saichi’ was pure and deserved to be saved and ‘little Saichi’ is a part of him, he thinks he as a whole can be saved.

It’s still bad, even if in a way that’s different from before.

We don’t exactly know what Sugimoto means by ‘salvation’ but it’s clear a part of him loathes himself, thinks he deserves a special place in hell, but now he finds a renewed appreciation in himself because as a child he wasn’t a murderer. Which would be good only if he were to act over it.

Just because he was pure as a child, it’s not like this will make all his wrongdoing magically disappear. Everyone started as a pure child.

And it’s interesting compare his words with Ogata’s.

Now take this with a grain of salt as I’m going by the definitions as they were explained to me as I’m not a Japanese expert.

Anywa…

Ogata talked about ‘Kiyoi’ (清い) “Pure/innocent” with Yuusaku and Asirpa (yeah scanlations translated the word in two different manner, ‘innocent’ with Yuusaku, ‘pure’ with Asirpa but Ogata is actually using the same words). Interesting enough ‘kiyoi’ is the word used in this sentence, ‘Kokoro no kiyoi hito-tachi wa saiwaidearu’ (心の清い人たちは幸いである) or, if you prefer “Blessed are the pure in heart” from Matthew 5: 8 (full sentence being “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”)

Sugimoto used ‘Kirei’ (きれい) “Pure/Beautiful”.

Apparently ‘Kiyoi’ isn’t commonly used, except in literature but it has a strong meaning of ‘nobility’ as it implies not just ‘cleanliness’ but also ‘honesty/inner nobility’. What Ogata complains is that no one is inherently ‘kiyoi’, pure, noble, innocent. We’re all imperfect beings after all, we all not only have the power to hurt/kill others but we’re also responsible of what we let/encourage/empower the others do. Yuusaku lead the men to murder other men, even if he didn’t kill anyone he was still involved in the massacre, motivating men to do it. Even though he didn’t personally stain his hands in blood, he was no better than the others because he actively encouraged others to commit murder.

Ogata, who probably was also used as hit-man, denounces the hypocrisy of who believed that, as long as he weren’t to commit the deed personally but had another do it for him, he remained pure.

Sugimoto’s ‘kirei’ instead is a much more commonly used words and implies a general ‘beauty of clean/pure things’. I think his idea is that having something that’s ‘kirei’, beautiful, pure, gives him a sense of worth. He can be saved just because a part of him is worth being saved.

So, even if, in the English version, they seem to talk about the same thing, ‘purity’, their speech is actually referring to something different.

Something that was believed to be pure but actually it felt so merely because it let other do the dirty work versus something that was pure because it was never tarnished and therefore remained beautiful.

Probably Sugimoto would see Yuusaku as ‘kirei’ as he never personally killed, never tainted his own hands with it, while Ogata feels he’s not ‘kiyoi’ because guilty of murder by association.

Anyway, since Sugimoto sees his child self in Asirpa, he wants to keep her ‘pure’ as in ‘untarnished’, he wants her to be saved the way he couldn’t.

He doesn’t want Asirpa tainted by Ogata’s death, he doesn’t want her to become a killer. It’s not a matter of her remaining noble, of her keeping on believing killing is bad, but of her remaining untainted, unsullied by the action of killing.

Sugimoto won’t tell her ending a life is bad, just that the guilt that will come with doing it will make you feel bad, as if that guilt wasn’t tied to the wrongness of killing.

There’s a bizarre dichotomy in Sugimoto. He agonizes over his kills, over how he couldn’t go back to his own old self but, at the same time, he thinks killing is the best choice when something threatens him and tries to overcome his sense of guilt by telling himself those he kills are soulless creatures. Sugimoto can never go back to his own old self as long as he doesn’t accept killing is the wrong choice and that he had made a mistake, that he had been forced during war to make it, but that killing wasn’t right.

Of course since all this is hellish hard and people normally would need to go into therapy before realizing it, I get it’s not so easy for him but anyway, his belief that Asirpa doesn’t have to be tainted, explains his view.

The next changes are in the words Sugimoto says to Asirpa after they watched the movie.

In the volume Sugimoto reports Wilk’s words correctly instead of just his own interpretation. Now… this is better on a storytelling level. In media there’s the recurring trope that, if a character has to report the words of another, he’ll quote him word by word and if he doesn’t he’s trying to hide something. In the real world of course it doesn’t work like that, more often than not we don’t remember words that exactly however, as this is a media, Sugimoto not quoting Wilk in the magazine, gave me a bad impression, as if he were trying to push on Asirpa a falsehood or, at least, a biased information so the change is definitely an improvement in Sugimoto’s favor.

Sugimoto in the volume also better explained how things went with Kiro.

In the magazine it sounded as if Kiro died to push Asirpa to fight… when Kiro actually had no intention to die in the first place as he very clearly was murdered against his will.

In the volume version Sugimoto gives a better account of how things went but the implication is that, along with Wilk who forcibly pulled Asirpa in the gold fight, Kiro also took Asirpa to Karafuto to have her remember the code and paid this act with his life but, doing so, pushed her to think Asirpa has to fight for what she wants to protect.

This is more what had happened although the implication is that Kiro’s actions were forceful and moved by the will to drag Asirpa into that battle... when Asirpa actually wanted to remember the code and willingly followed Kiro because THAT WAS THE PLAN, should things go bad. Actually, hadn’t he been shoot, Sugimoto would have gone to Karafuto with her as well.

Ultimately is clear that Sugimoto is telling the fact through his visions as his summary ‘stand at the head of the Ainu and die’ and ‘fight and kill people’ aren’t exactly what Wilk and Kiro told her to do.

Wilk in particular never said she had to die… and Kiro didn’t tell her to kill people.

Sugimoto interprets their words and actions as such and, while in the magazine he said just this was what they were telling her, now he says with those words they’re casting a curse on her.

This new choice of words implies even more than the previous how negatively Sugimoto sees their actions but also kind of undervalues Asirpa’s ability to decide for herself and, more importantly, doesn’t offer any other way to protect what Asirpa wants to protect, nor admits his own role into dragging her in that gold battle as HE is the one who started Asirpa’s involvement.

In light of the changes of Sugimoto’s sentence in chap 203, it’s clear that although Sugimoto in the past commented Wilk’s cause was just, he prioritizes preserving Asirpa’s purity. Someone has to fight but it doesn’t have to be Asirpa who’ll fight to protect what she’ll care about and it’s clear Sugimoto isn’t saying this just because Asirpa is young or female. He doesn’t want her involved but he doesn’t offer any other solution from saying ‘I’ll do it’ to ‘you can protect the Ainu in another way’.

It’s more a ‘give up on protecting the Ainu and protect your purity instead or you’ll regret it’, that fails to see the problem that Asirpa is an Ainu and by protecting Ainu she’s also protecting herself.

So overall the changes made Sugimoto more sincere but didn’t really change him much even if now it’s more clear he was trying to preserve Asirpa’s purity not because her existence washed away his sins but because he saw himself in her.

Although he would chose something different for Asirpa, overall his way to go at it is the same as Wilk.

Both he and Wilk saw Asirpa as a version of themselves and both tried to force her on the path they preferred without asking about Asirpa’s opinion.

To Sugimoto’s defense it can be said his own seems safe, but only in a superficial way, as he actually plans to hand her to Tsurumi, which would be very unsafe for Asirpa, although in a way that’s different from taking part to a war.

Another important change in the volume is that while in the magazine, when Asirpa claimed she worried for the Ainu Sugimoto didn’t reply, now he does. However it’s clearly something he’s not really believing. His eyes are completely black, and at first he hesitated and turned his gaze away from her when replying Tsurumi doesn’t want the Ainu as enemies but as a workforce, continuing they’ve overwhelming advantage over Tsurumi so he’ll do as Asirpa demands.

Now… while it’s good he answered his answer is… well, pretty farfetched and misleading.

Although Ainu in Hokkaido back then were 15,000 this count included old men, women and children.

The only things Tsurumi might need the Ainu for are as extra troops for his army or as workers in his weapon and opium factories. This would mean the Ainu would have to drop their lifestyle, which Asirpa wanted to preserve, to become soldiers or factory workers (never mentioning factories would pollute nature damaging Ainu environment fundamental to hunt or fish) or, in case of the females, wives of Japanese, otherwise they’ve no use for him, it’s not like Ainu are producing something fundamental for Tsurumi he can’t get rid of them.

Sugimoto either knows his own is a lie (or, if you prefer, a very misleading answer) or he’s seriously deluding himself.

He then goes on claiming since Asirpa is the only one who can solve the code, they’ve overwhelming advantage so Tsurumi should just obey her.

This also is completely wrong.

First of all it he can’t be sure the tattooed code couldn’t be solved without Asirpa as he has not the slightest idea how the code works. Tsurumi could get code breakers to solve it or maybe figure it out on his own for all Sugimoto knows. Other codes were cracked after all, and we’ve no idea how versed Wilk is in making codes. Just because Sugimoto doesn’t know how to crack it, it doesn’t mean no one can.

But the real problem here is once Tsurumi has Asirpa he can very well torture her to force her to tell him the code, or just threaten her by telling her he’ll kill one Ainu after the other until she doesn’t talk.

And if Asirpa gives him a wrong key to the code he can just resume torturing.

After all we were shown in this exact volume how Tsurumi coerced Ariko into cooperating.

Sugimoto can’t be unaware of this as Tsurumi imprisoned and tortured him too and Tsurumi has, differently from him, the means to carry it on.

So while Sugimoto would never torture Asirpa and might not manage to force Boutarou to talk, Tsurumi has plenty of means to torture Asirpa and plenty of time and if she gives him a wrong answer it’ll only slow him down a little.

The changes in the volume, which show how Tsurumi in truth never planned to get her cooperation but just to imprison her and postpone worrying about the code after he got the tattoo add to this.

Noda wanted us to be extremely sure Sugimoto’s choice to entrust Asirpa to Tsurumi was wrong, wasn’t moved by great ideals or sense of responsibility but merely by personal feelings.

We’ve another moment that’s changed and that’s when Shiraishi questions Sugimoto, asking him if he really thinks Tsurumi will care about the Ainu. Sugimoto is surprised by being questioned but also nervous (he’s sweating), yet his reply is ‘Dōiu imida?’ (どういう意味だ？) “What do you mean?” however this isn’t only used in the sense of ‘I hadn’t understood you’ but in the sense of ‘What are you implying?’ and in the sense of ‘what in the world are you saying?’

Shiraishi was accusing Sugimoto with his question, basically asking him if he’s stupid, delusional or a liar when he’s saying Tsurumi would care about the Ainu. Honestly I hope this will be developed further in the next volume but, for now I think Sugimoto is probably being neither of the three. He’s actually being dismissive about the Ainu.

When Asirpa questioned him it’s clear his first worry is Asirpa, in fact in his reasoning he didn’t consider the Ainu at all.

“Nobody will come after you.” Which match with his previous “It doesn’t have to be you (who’ll fight).”

When he’s pressured by Asirpa ABOUT THE AINU, he likely replied the first thing that came to his mind that would reassure her and make her play along. There’s not Sugimoto’s heart in that answer, it’s just a way to reassure Asirpa (hence the ‘dead eyes’ and him avoiding her gaze).

Sugimoto claimed he didn’t care about what Tsurumi plans to do with Hokkaido, implying also he didn’t know what this thing is.

However if he were to care about the Ainu he should care about what Tsurumi wants to do because it would affect the Ainu and this something Tsurumi plans to do, as far as he knows, could be everything, from world peace to Ainu extermination. This is relevant.

His words are basically words said to push Asirpa to accept but they’re based over nothing. Sugimoto hasn’t asked himself what Tsurumi would do with the Ainu and doesn’t care, he cares about protecting Asirpa but Asirpa is an Ainu so he’s hugely missing the point.

Another minor change.

After Tanigaki suggests Asirpa to ask Tsurumi to go visit her grandmother, Sugimoto tells her it’ll go well. This is a call back to the talk they had in chap 192, when Asirpa pointed out how she didn’t believe Tsurumi would allow her to see her grandmother and Sugimoto (in the volume version, in the magazine version he agreed with her) insisted that Tsurumi would let her do it.

Basically Sugimoto’s words are again aimed at reassuring Asirpa so she’ll play along with the plan… with Noda immediately informing us that no, Tsurumi won’t let her see her grandmother, Tsurumi tells Usami he’ll plan to hide her in a basement with no windows or furniture for all the time it’ll need him to crack the code, even several years if that will be the case.

The following change isn’t a change to be honest but an addition and sadly it’s not about something Sugimoto does or say, but about the chat Tsurumi has with Asirpa, during which Sugimoto will look at first a bit surprised and then sweat but won’t comment not even once. And this is really terrible because although it became clear Tsurumi wanted to rip Asirpa from him and Shiraishi and hid her and, since he didn’t even bother to lie about where he was taking her, it probably was nowhere good and, if she couldn’t be with her friends it’s even more clear she couldn’t be with her grandmother, Sugimoto says nothing.

It’s Asirpa who questions Tsurumi, if she hadn’t, Sugimoto would have let him just take her away.

There’s an expression we use in my country to imply that a person in order to keep another safe, doesn’t want to allow that person to get in contact with anything and is ‘to put someone under a glass bell’.

Basically this is what Sugimoto wishes for Asirpa. As long as Tsurumi doesn’t ask her to murder, even if he keeps her jailed, he’s fine with it.

It gets worse.

Tsurumi, instead than trying to manipulate Asirpa into being obedient with lies, ends up on arguing with her, clearly showing he has not benevolent feelings and creeping out even his own men. Sugimoto still does nothing, he doesn’t try to defend Asirpa saying ‘no, she’s not going to wage war like Wilk, she’s a peaceful person’ nor, apparently consider walking back from that deal.

But sadly this is still not the end of it.

When Asirpa tells him she’ll chose her own destiny, in the magazine Sugimoto was first surprised then smiled.

Here instead he’s visibly more anxious, sweating, his eyes thinning slightly (in the magazine they widens) as he chews his lips for ultimately agreeing with her with a nod… that’s clearly without the smile he had in the magazine.

Sugimoto is not happy with Asirpa’s decision. He bows to it to remain her partner but he would have let her in Tsurumi’s care.

There’s another change, even if it’s hard to spot. At the very end in the volume Asirpa says that between going back to her Kotan and waging war to protect the Ainu there’s only a choice she can take, implying she’ll wage war to protect the Ainu. Therefore her words about wanting Sugimoto to say something optimistic like ‘let’s do this together’ tie to ‘wage war to protect the Ainu’.

Sugimoto’s reply though is unchanged. He says ‘let’s find the gold by themselves’ but this doesn’t imply his future involvement in the Ainu protection.

It can be something that will be developed further in the volume version but, for now, this volume set up firmly several points about Sugimoto.

His plan to protect Asirpa from killing by entrusting her to Tsurumi was the WORST POSSIBLE IDEA he could have. I’m aware many thought that since it would be terrible for a child like Asirpa to murder people, this seemed a good plan but, actually, it’s just another type of horror.

Sugimoto, differently from Asirpa, is not interested in the future of the Ainu at all. He acknowledges their cause might not be wrong but overall, as he said to Wilk, they should just keep quiet and do what they’re told to do so as not to cause a civil war. Or maybe change lifestyle and serve in Tsurumi’s army and factory.

Sugimoto’s interests as stated in this volume are therefore: find the gold, protect Asirpa from murdering and murder Ogata.

There’s also something I should have noticed earlier when watching chap 211 but that I missed and that was actually noticeable also when the chapter was released on the magazine.

The argument between Sugimoto and Shiraishi parallels another argument they had, in chap 62.

Back then Shiraishi suggested they would just take advantage of Inkarmat’s magic ability of predicting the winner of a race to get the money they both needed without running around risking their lives.

Sugimoto claimed he couldn’t do so because it would mean to tell Asirpa to fend for herself… in short to go to Abashiri on her own to discover the truth about her father (on a completely unrelated note can you see Wakayama and Nakazawa behind him?).

While Sugimoto’s words are painted as noble it’s worth to note that, as Shiraishi pointed out, going there meant to risk their lives and it’s Sugimoto who involved Asirpa in the gold hunt and is not even considering telling her ‘Asirpa, is dangerous, you should go back home’ in an attempt to persuade her to give up. In short he’s not prioritizing her safety but HER WISH, or so he says.

In chap 211 Shiraishi turns the argument against Sugimoto.

He points out he keeps on saying he is doing it for Asirpa but it turns out he hasn’t given up on the money, in fact he had made an agreement to get the money. Asirpa has made clear she wants, same as when she wanted to go to Abashiri, know the truth about her father but handing the code to Tsurumi doesn’t insure she’ll get what she wants.

In short this time Sugimoto is prioritizing his own wishes, getting the money and keeping Asirpa pure (which isn’t even ensuring her safety) while Shiraishi points out how Asirpa has grown for that time and, instead than deciding for her he should support her, and how Sugimoto’s decision might not even protect her.

Now… just to clear things up.

I don’t think Sugimoto is doing what he’s doing because he’s evil or something like that. But he’s taking wrong choices under the guise of doing something good for Asirpa.

By doing him do this and remaking he’s doing this, Noda is telling us that Sugimoto isn’t the classic Shonen hero whose decisions, even the most controversial ones, either ultimately work out greatly (think to how Goku spared Piccolo and Vegeta and they turned out to be allies) or are immediately set right (when Goku spares Freezer and Freezer betrays him Goku immediately kills him… well, tries to as Freezer will survive) or, at least, immediately pointed as wrong (Goku’s plan to have Gohan fight Cell without warning him is quickly denounced as dumb by Piccolo).

Sugimoto’s decision was bad, very much so, but he took it in vol 14 and we had to wait till vol 21 to see how bad it was and it’s not even Sugimoto who acknowledges ‘ops, I made a mistake’ when Shiraishi warns him and fixes things or tries to but it’s Tsurumi who screws up while it’s Asirpa who fixes things.

Long story short, just because Sugimoto has the ‘main character’s status’, it doesn’t mean he’s always right or that he’s always doing good. He screws up like any of us.

Noda didn’t want us to despise Sugimoto, just remind us that the road to hell is paved with good intentions and if you aren’t careful you might screw up beyond belief.

TSURUMI

Actually there are no changes regarding Tsurumi, there are additions.

1 & 2)

We learn contrary to what Sugimoto and Tanigaki thought Tsurumi had no intention to let Asirpa some measure of freedom, he just wanted to keep her trapped until he were to solve the code. We also learn he planned to part her from Sugimoto and Shiraishi as soon as possible.

Honestly I’m not particularly surprised by this and I don’t think Noda made us aware of this to point out that Tsurumi is a jerk. The chapters with Ariko but also the one in which he cut Nikaido’s ear or murdered Wada or have Ogata kill Hanazawa or kidnapped Koito, should have told us Tsurumi would do everything to get what he wants. He wants the code and he doesn’t want others to get it. Of course the safest way it to keep Asirpa trapped in a place where nobody can find her and get that info from her.

Also, as long as he hadn’t checked the info, even if she were to tell him the code, he could never be sure she had been sincere, hence the jailing.

The changes in the volume version though, only remarks what was already pointed out. Tsurumi doesn’t come out worse or better, he just confirms his modus operandi.

Tsurumi has a giant size grudge toward Wilk, seeing Asirpa immediately causes him a beyond strong emotion that causes him to leak brain fluid like crazy and the fact she reminds him of her father only causes him to lose his cool, stop attempting to manipulate her and attack her verbally, claiming Ainu wanted to kill Japanese and she’s going to follow her father’s footsteps, a flashback implying Tsurumi believes Wilk might be responsible for Funa and Olga’s death.

This is all new material for Tsurumi. We knew Tsurumi knew Wilk but in the magazine it wasn’t shown Wilk shoot, it was something that was added in the volume, and anyway, as Sofia blamed herself, it was assumed it could be her who murdered Sofia and Olga.

Instead he suspects Wilk and he seems very hung up on his loss, to the point he loses it in front of Wilk’s completely innocent daughter who, however, got to grow up differently from his own.

This definitely adds quite a big load of new meaning to Tsurumi’s actions.

On another side I’ve always wondered if the loss of Tsurumi’s brain fluid is mean to imply an orgasm or him crying. I think Tsurumi is so messed up in him pain and pleasure conflated and, in a way, it’s both. But it might be just me.

Well, this is all for the comments to the volume version. Sorry if it was a bit late.

#Golden Kamuy #Sugimoto Saichi #Asirpa #Shiraishi Yoshitake #Tsurumi Tokushirou #Tsukishima Hajime #Koito Otonoshin #Tanigaki Genjirou #Golden Kamuy Magazine vs Volume

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the-headbop-wraith · 4 years

Text

1_11 Glass Anvils

The room is dimly lit when he awakens. The lamp on the coffee table is on its lowest setting and the pale light builds a gold dome over the floor, before breaking around the numerous countertops left at odd angels around the room. Order was an elusive concept in his mind, and translated to chaos when projected from his mind. He doesn’t know what time it is, but it’s either very late or very early judging by how still the air is. He doesn’t recall when he turned in for the evening, but he does remember there is still too much work to do.

Arthur stretches, careful not to stir Vivi where she lays with her head on his lap. He leans over sliding his arm under her folded arms and lifts her, so he could wriggle out from under her. Arthur’s movements do momentarily rouse Mystery. The dog, sleeping on the couch at Arthur’s feet, gives his companion an annoyed glare before curling back down into the lumpy cushion. Arthur murmurs an apology, as he sets Vivi’s tangled arms and head down on the couch where he had lain. He adjusts the blanket wrapped over her shoulders, before slipping off the sofa and locating his travel bag placed on the floor beside the couch.

The air was brisk on his bare skin and only a wrap of beige gauze has been fixed to the remains of his shoulder, above the connector chute of his prosthetic. Arthur touches the medical wrapping and feels the faint sting of the injury beneath. How did that happen? Later he would remove the bandage and take a look, but he judged his hand must have slipped while he was groggy and making an adjustment in the connector for the new prosthetic. This happened too often and he chided himself. Arthur needed to be more careful, he didn’t have much arm left.

Arthur looked back over at Mystery on the sofa, content and sleeping beside Vivi’s head. He didn’t know what they would do without that dog.

With his fingers and thumb, he wriggled the zipper of his bag along inch by inch, deftly with one hand until the sack was fully open. Arthur plucks out one clean short sleeved shirt and fumbles hid hand around into the neck, until he finds the rough label with his thumb and twists the shirt around. With the shirt adjusted proper, he takes the inside of the right sleeve and drags the shirt down over his shoulders. He pushes his one arm free and reaches over to fix the empty left sleeve.

It didn’t really matter, Arthur reflects as he picked up his personal bag. The stump would constantly slip in or out of the sleeve, but that didn’t bother him too much. Only when he was frustrated and he needed some form of distraction, or some alternative outlet for his irritation. Another reason he hated wearing his sleeves down, or long sleeved shirts for that matter. He didn’t like pinning the remaining sleeve up, in the scenario he had to remove the prosthetic for whatever reason (sleep usually). One time he did cut the sleeve off in a fit of frustration, but afterwards it just made him look more pathetic, in his opinion. It was just easier….

Arthur paused as he moved towards the door. That steady rhythm. He hadn’t noticed it before, until there was the faint whisper of a page crinkling. Arthur caught movement in the edge of his eye as he spun and saw a dark shape positioned at one of the work tables closets to the wall. The bag made a sharp Pop! when it hit the floor, and Arthur recoils from both the sound and the shadow. He doesn’t recognize the gloomy figure until vibrant magenta replaces the hair, and a hollow gap takes residence where the neck was a moment before. His mind is still not at ease, though he is aware by the sudden jolt of the figure that it was startled by the random sound as well. The only one unaffected was Vivi, buried under the blanket; and maybe Mystery, but the dog’s eyes had only cracked a portion to stare at Arthur with irritation. The air hangs with the pause as the echo of the bag’s sudden acquaintance with the floor dims, under the sound of the subdued thrum of the locket.

“Arthur?” Lewis says, voice below a rasp. The answer doesn’t come right away, but Lewis vouches for no hasty movements until the other has adjusted. He sets the book he was reading down among the clutter and scratched top of the table. When only the silence holds residence, Lewis calls again, “Is that you?”

A quick farewell and retreat appeals to Arthur, but that just didn’t seem right. “Yeah. It’s me,” Arthur says. He reaches down and takes up his bag. “I didn’t know you… uh, had risen? You okay?” He hesitates. “Well, you look fine now, but are you? I got really worried.”

“Better,” Lewis says. He ponders over Arthur’s presence and mood without looking back. “About last night?” he began, pausing as he put the question together. “What happened? We found you, and you had collapsed.”

Arthur shifted his hand over, but he was still holding the bag. “I collapsed?” he echoed. He remembered vaguely wishing Lance a good night, but Arthur was too engrossed with work to look up. Not long after that, Galahad had rolled off as he usually did to explore the empty garage. But that was it. He didn’t do anything else. “I must’ve been working too hard. There’s still a lot I have to get done.” Even through the pale light, Arthur could pick up on a fog of discomfort ebbing at Lewis. “Did… something happen?”

Lewis didn’t make a sound. He thumbed at the book he set on the desk, trying to focus on pushing his thumb into the pages without sinking through their outline. “I cleaned up the other work room.”

“Huh?” Unease swam through Arthur. “You didn’t try to organize anything, did you?” He wasn’t even halfway done with the prosthetic, and it took a while for him to get all the parts he could carry with one arm.

“No,” Lewis answered. “I just picked up the floor a bit.”

Arthur exhaled a tight breath. “Good, thanks… I guess. I mean, you didn’t have to.”

“I know.” The skull bobbed in a nod. Without a sound Lewis slipped from the chair, glided though it as he drifts to raise himself upright and faced Arthur. “Would you like me to heat something up for you?”

Arthur made a meditative sound in his throat. He set the bag down and fished around in his pants pocket for his pocket watch. The lounge had the small fridge and microwave, as well as the coffee makers for the staff. Lance would expect him to get the coffee going since Arthur was up, but Lance would also be arriving in less than thirty minutes to get the garage itself opened up and ready to receive customers. But Lewis was probably hunting for something productive to do, even if it was microwaved meals.

“A pepperoni hot pocket,” Arthur says. “And can you get the coffee makers going?” He pockets his watch and grabs the bag again, before turning away.

“I think so.” Lewis pushes the chair out of his way as he follows Arthur to the door, careful to keep his distance from the other. Before he steps out Lewis takes one glimpse of Vivi and Mystery, and ducks out of the room. “Everything’s in the cabinets in the break room?”

“Yeah,” Arthur says, hurrying to the steps. It struck him odd momentarily that Lewis would follow him, when he could theoretically go through walls and float. But he said nothing. Instead, he reminds, “And don’t let Uncle Lance see ya.”

When Lance arrived later to open shop and check in with Arthur and company, fresh coffee was brewing in the lounge. Suspiciously good coffee. He questioned if Arthur had gotten any sleep the night before, and Arthur endured some mild suspicion from his uncle before Lance let him be. Galahad was on the solder table assisting Arthur in fixing pieces in place when one hand was too little, the hamster’s cooperation a sure sign that Arthur had taken pause in his work.

The following days, Kingsman Mechanics developed a reputation for being ‘spooked.’ It was no shock that the mechanics Lance had employed, burly or sweaty men from varied backgrounds, would be superstitious people. None of the staff mentioned it to Lance directly, but the conversations began to float around within noon of the first day, and by the second day even the customers were seeing shadows at the corners of their eyes or shapes in the mirrors around the shop.

Lance was not as superstitious as his hired hands, and not as into the paranormal as Arthur’s crew was, but he managed to keep his jumpiest mechanics soothed with the prospect that they were willing to lose a good job over words. Besides that, business had increased due to curious patrons dropping by to verify the rumors, or in hopes of catching sight of the shadow people. For certain Lance didn’t give a damn the motives of his customers, as long as they paid for legitimate services and were respectable people.

Right on the first day Vivi managed to catch Lewis in one of the upper work rooms and gave him a firm talking to about the issue, but Lewis insisted it was none of his doing. Tentatively, Lewis did suggest that the rooms could be salted, just in case. Vivi denied this would be necessary, and settled instead to drag Lewis away from the shop whenever possible to adjust him to being around People while projecting his Alive appearance. The van was left to Lance for its maintenance check, and Mystery stayed with Arthur to make sure he didn’t suffer another breakdown.

They started slow, a quick trip over to Vivi’s station of employment at the Tome Tomb comic store. Vivi had some books that she had acquired on their recent trip, and she had another check to pick up. Vivi managed a heavy amount of the online sales and purchases, while also picking up rare or interesting books sold by private dealers online. Aside from sales and inventory control, Vivi could keep track of the paranormal market and promote the Tome Tomb on blog spots. This kept the shop from falling too far behind big name competitors, by offering loyal customers rarity items. And if a certain book could be found nowhere online, Vivi had a knack for finding physical copies during their various travels.

Lewis still struggled to shrug off his death suit, and the fact he couldn’t decide how it was he projected his living appearance fueled his aggravation. As always, Vivi was a stern but patient coach. Often they had to stop at some store or some shady alley for Lewis to take a moment and collect himself. Vivi had purchased him a wool sweater, alpaca she insisted, and some gloves to further mask him for the time. Lewis’ shadow was also… wrong, but not as noticeable as his first encounter with a mirror. His head and legs were a pale shade of gray, the sun flittering through his shape and cutting over the solid fabric of the clothing he wore. Vivi never mentioned it, since Lewis had too much to work on as it was. But he was determined to master the skill (ghostly abilities), which was why she pushed him so hard. Otherwise, she’d still be in those ice skates tiptoeing over china.

Vivi spent a few minutes in the comic store for the usual review, drop off of the books, and catch up with co-workers. Even if Lewis knew he could go in, he couldn’t. The Tome Tomb had problems some time back with hostile spirits, and Vivi had pretty much solidified her employment with barrier charms hung by the shops door. Tough luck, but as Vivi put it, Lewis could have some time on his own and stray a bit out of his comfort zone.

For the first time, Vivi took note of a framed newspaper clipping that was on the wall behind the glass counter that stretched out near the front of the store. She asked to see it right quick. The employee currently on shift spun around to take the picture and with a tight face, he set the frame clipping beside the stack of books Vivi had brought in. Vivi read through the newspaper article in silence. An abrupt giggle jumped from her throat and Vivi had to cover her mouth, in response to the grimace her coworker had taken.

“Sorry,” Vivi said, and dabbed at her eye with her scarf. “Something funny. It’s sweet.” She would tease Lewis later.

“Do you…” the employee, a young guy still in high school with an ear piercing, began, “You remember him? They said not to say anything, but….” He let his voice tapper off when Vivi leaned back and shook her head.

Vivi would TEASE Lewis relentlessly, later. “No. But I feel like I’m starting to remember him.” She took note the date on the clipping, her smile faded some. “Did you ever meet him?”

The employee shrugged his shoulders and fumbled with the edge of the frame. “Not really. We talked once, but that was not long before….” He sighed and let his shoulders slump, as he pressed his elbows to the glass counter. “I said it before, but you were kind of oblivious? But I give my condolences. He seemed like a real chill guy.” He looked up when Vivi set a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“It’s okay, really,” Vivi said. “Things get better.” To those encouraging words the employee nods, and he takes the framed clipping to return it to the wall.

Afterwards, Vivi said a goodbye, and left to rejoin Lewis a few shops down at a café. She would wait until later to tease him, Lewis needed to stay focused.

The eventual did happen, and Arthur was putting the last touches on the first completed arm. He was fidgeting, in part that he had a tendency to nitpick personal projects into the dirt. It was late in the evening, the shop now closed and Uncle Lance had gone back to his and Arthur’s home. As per his nature, Arthur had stayed at the shop and was fixing the last points at the base of the arm, where it would attach into the connector chute in his arm. Vivi was on the sofa giving Mystery some much needed praise and attention, while Lewis had taken post at the work desk beside the wall. The Closed hours were the only time when the group could sit together, void of the distracting worries that someone would stumble onto them.

Arthur was filing down some over-welded seams on the arm, when Vivi brought up the subject. “Have you been seeing the shadows, Arthur?” she asked, while rubbing Mystery’s ears between her palms to warm the velvety dog radars. “You’re usually sensitive to those sort of things.”

“Naw,” he said. “No, not really. I thought about salting my room just in case, but of course I’m too busy.” Arthur picked up a screwdriver and motioned to Lewis ‘seated’ at the messy table. “And that would be uncool.”

Lewis glanced over but decided not to answer. A long time ago he had set his book down to address his new companion on the table. “I honestly don’t know why anyone would be seeing shadow people,” Lewis, again, defends. “It’s usually when I’m not around, isn’t it?”

“No,” Arthur said. “I have noticed, it’s only when you’re around. I asked about it when I went down for the other jobs, and the guys can’t shut up about it. They must think we brought something back with us?” Arthur turns the handle of the clamp, tightening the jaws hold of the metal prosthetic. “I guess that is what we’ve done— Or, it’s what I did.”

“I have no regrets over the matter,” Lewis admitted. “But I think things will go back to normal here once we get a move on.”

Vivi had lain down behind Mystery and was rubbing the dog’s shoulders, as he sat perched on the edge of the sofa beside here. “I have a route set, some places we can think about stopping along the way,” Vivi says. “We’ve got nothing immediate planned.”

“Cool. Cool,” Arthur hummed. “No forever road or late night driving will daunt our way.” Arthur stands up as he adjusts the clamp and moves the light on the table. He’s a little more distracted than he’d like to be, only because he knows now where Galahad had gotten to. “I was thinking of a resonance,” he says, in a way to change the subject’s direction. “You didn’t really make the mansion, it just sort of came. Maybe you’re still doing it, or trying. Like a habit?”

Vivi shifts on her side to peer over the arm of the sofa as much as she could, to where Lewis was. “And Arthur’s over analytical mind of physics and engineering rears itself again,” she enthused, and slumps back down. “Could be something you were compelled to do with no effort, sort like,” Vivi thought to say breathing, but quickly worked out a more appropriate allegory, “Thoughts. Just thinking, and the compulsion to think.”

“Could be,” Lewis hummed. “I did inspire the architecture, the layout of the halls and rooms. Once I knew what I wanted, little by little it became. But it doesn’t feel the same now. Now, I don’t feel like I’m doing much of anything, save for my appearance.”

“We don’t really feel thoughts either,” Vivi says. She’s focused on rubbing her hands gently down Mystery’s shoulders, and kneads at the tense muscle under the soft white coat until the dog surrenders and melts onto the couch beside her. “What are they even? A voice in our head. And if we can’t deal with it, we talk aloud.” Vivi keeps an eye on Arthur, clinking at the metal and the sporadic flicker of the lamplight on the desk he works as he adjusts the light to view the prosthetic arms open end. “This was something I thought of,” she said, voice soft, “but the deadbeats may have been drawn to you because of that. The mansion. They couldn’t find their own way, but your home was probably the closest they could find.”

Lewis raises his shoulders in a shrug. “They just sort of… were,” he says. “There suddenly. I don’t remember a specific day or time.” The tone of his voice thinned, as he stared at his hands upon the table and the orange ball of fluff there. “I can’t even recall if they came because the mansion, or if I had seen them before.” He looked away from the table, over to the top of Vivi’s blue head partially hidden behind the sofa’s arm. “But they were welcome there,” Lewis voice rattles, with a resonance akin to fondness. “They helped.”

Arthur paused to watch Lewis gently scratch under Galahad’s chin. The hamster didn’t seem bothered by the spirit, but Galahad was always a fearless little dude. Lewis glanced over at Arthur, and Arthur jarred out of his staring to resume his work. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah,” Arthur says, with a huff. “Nearly done. I might get around to making some progress on the second one, but I doubt it.”

“Don’t overwork yourself,” Lewis warns. He glides away from the table leaving Galahad stranded where he is on the cluttered work top, and Lewis moves around the room to stand beside the sofa. Vivi is curled up on her side, eyes shutting blearily until her eyes close altogether and her breathing becomes steady. Mystery remains tangled in her arms but as always has no complaint, though Mystery does watch Lewis as he drifts by to perch on the opposite arm of the sofa. “You’re nearly done. Even I, a person no longer tethered by the natural laws of physics, can make out that much by your work.”

As Arthur readjusted the arm in the clamp, he lets out a heavy sigh. “I’d like to have my balance restored,” Arthur says. “People don’t stare as much, y’know? They see something attached to your shoulder, and automatically their mind fills in the blanks. Symmetry. They don’t see a problem first, they see an outline. Then the stares are mild curiosity, sometimes fascination. But not much pity. I’m different, but not broken. I cope, but I don’t struggle.” Arthur sets the screwdriver aside and grips the handle of the clamp, but pauses. “Sometimes you’re the only one that can put yourself back together.”

A soft peeping came from below, and Lewis turned to look down and see that somehow Galahad had managed off the table and was beside the couch. Galahad wheeled around and over his shoes peeping for attention, and would peer up at Lewis with his large black eyes. It was endearing, but Lewis felt ripples of concern if he became too attached to the hamster.

“Hey Galaham, don’t pester the guy,” Arthur said. “If he doesn’t wanna pet you, then let him be.” Arthur fumbled to undo the gauze wrapping on his upper arm. He had seen the injury a few times when he was forced to shower, but it still mystified him.

“We found you passed out,” Lewis offered. “Vivi dressed your wound.”

Arthur nodded silently, still staring at the ugly red burn. He took a mirror from his table and set it beside him, then took a sharp tool from the numerous scattered over the table and fiddled with a prong inside the connectors housing. “My arm must’ve slipped when I was repairing the chute, it was smashed and bent bad,” Arthur murmured. “It happens too often ‘cause of the awkward angle I have to work with.” Lewis gripped the sofa arm that he was perched upon; he felt that more than often that injury wasn’t inflicted by a careless hand. “Ask Vivi,” Arthur went on. “Wait, is she asleep? Can you just… not look like yourself? I am happy you can do that, trust me but— Fuck.” He reached over and set his hand down on the metal wrist of the prosthetic resting on the worktable, and tilts his head back to stare at the dark bars and cables of the ceiling above.

Lewis made a soft crackle sound as he moved to his feet, his attention placed on the floor where Galahad scooted about. Of course he wasn’t walking, but he was still conscious of the little hamster wheeling around and waiting for some attention. Lewis looked at Vivi and felt the doubt suffocating the remorse for his erratic deed, lessen by some amount. It had not ceased to unsettle Lewis at any point when he was evicted from his searing bitterness, and he could never deny that he had committed a hideous crime, but Vivi could look at him now and smile, void of those memories haunting the areas behind her eyes. Mystery looked to be deep amid slumber as well, so Lewis was able to take the glasses off Vivi and set them on the coffee table. He pulled up the blanket left crumpled up in the corner of the sofa and covered the two sleepers.

“If Vivi wakes up,” Lewis says, as he steps away, “tell her I went to rest in the van for a bit.”

“I didn’t tell you to leave,” Arthur snapped. “I don’t want you to leave. I need you to stay.” His fingers fumbled with the metal fingers of the prosthetic, and he could almost feel the device attached to his arm and that familiar sense of pressure he had developed in the prosthetics interactions. “Just stay,” he whispered. “I need someone here. Someone that knows how terrible I am. I don’t—” Arthur drew up his fist to his brow and shrank down under his skin. “I don’t want to be left alone.” He shuddered at the chilly air, and looked up when he detected a sudden presence. He was a little startled by Lewis close proximity, skull bleached and pink fire burning in the depths of his eye sockets.

“C’mon,” Lewis says, as he takes Arthur by the shoulders. “You’re getting some rest now.” Arthur doesn’t protest as Lewis guides him over to the sofa, and makes Arthur lay down in the corner opposite of Vivi and Mystery. Lewis tugs a section of the blanket free from Vivi and covers Arthur.

Arthur snuggled down, and watched as Lewis ducked away only to reappear from behind the sofa with Galahad in hand. Arthur stared at the little hamster as he was set on the blanket, and reached up his hand to stroke one of the wheels Galahad wore. Arthur sighed. “Why is life so shitty?” he asks.

Lewis folded one arm under him, over the back of the sofa, and perched his skull upon the crook of his arm. “Good things tend to break,” says the ghost. “Perfection is a lunatics dream. Flaws are natural, they help us see what we normally wouldn’t.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, and a small painful sound was caught in his throat. “But why—” He winced when he looked up and saw Lewis’ outstretched hand, just before the dark palm settled on his forehead.

“Shut up. Just get some rest.” Lewis gently coaxed the heavy eyelids shut and pressed his palm to Arthur’s face. Arthur relaxes and feels himself diving, falling, into a black void as dark as Lewis’ hands. In this place as deep and endless as midnight, nothing exists but a null of presence, comfort, and perpetual rest. “No nightmares for you,” Lewis hums. “Not tonight.”

Once Arthur’s breathing became placid, Lewis lowered his hand and gave Galahad a gentle scratch. Lewis then turns his gaze onto Vivi and Mystery. He reached his free arm over and strokes Vivi’s cheek, and hummed a soft tune that spun on the empty air that hung within the small room. Lewis decides it was lonely to be the cause of so much pain. He missed his mansion, and he missed the deadbeats always present and mischievous, always curious. He missed the sequential waiting and reflection, and inexorable vehemence that fueled his passion for his current existence. But most of all, he missed his friends.

They packed and left the following morning. Arthur finished up one arm to satisfactory condition, and packed the additional parts and motors he foresaw would be needed for eventual repairs. While Lance took Arthur by their home to pick up extra clothing and essentials, Vivi took Lewis and Mystery to pick up additional supplies for the long hours of road between stops. In all the rush Vivi did manage by her own home to visit with her family and apologize for being so busy, before she whisked away as always. With formalities and preparation concluded, the group loaded up newly acquired goods, supplies, and a cooler for the road that had patiently awaited their return.

That had been late morning, nearly three hours ago.

Voices drifted across the busy thoroughfare, jovial patrons coming and going. Engines roared as vehicles entered the parking lot and fade, while others bellowed to life in the constant cycle, coming and going. Never slowing even during the low hours of the day; always busy, the restaurant buzzing with unruly activity. Lewis concentrated, and could almost feel the interior of the building. The cacophony of voices bouncing between the walls, the sweet scent of food cooking, dough baking, and meat frying. He felt it somewhere within him, where he usually felt himself — the odd scent of stale water, the delicate aroma of freshly chopped vegetables, and spicy peppers bubbling in his sinuses. People yelling with urgency as steam gushed, voices commanding, sometimes laughing. Warmth. Belonging. Memories.

Cold air moved through him, and he came back to the present. He focused once more on the parking lot, as more cars came and others went. A steady stream of content people, whom took the simplicity of their world for granted. Lewis reached a hand up to clasp the locket gently thumping at his chest, and let himself fade more into the shadow of the tree he stood under. He didn’t want someone to glance out a window and catch his figure waiting, watching. He couldn’t bear to think what his family might take of his appearance. It was too soon. Maybe they would take it as a good omen, but that didn’t settle right in him. They would be reminded. He didn’t want them to remember, and Lewis didn’t want to remember. He wanted closure.

Vivi had brought it up. She waited until Arthur was about to start the engine of the van and made sure to ask before he could grip the drive shift. As expected Arthur froze, and Vivi was uncertain if he’d be able to drive. Lewis, occupying the passenger seat, had turned slowly to give her a stare she could not make out through the dark sunglasses. She regretted the question, but honestly Vivi had almost forgotten about her own family upon returning to their home town. They came by for Arthur’s sake, pretty much. That’s what she told herself.

“I just wanted you to consider it,” Vivi said. She began to lean away, returning to the back of the van. “I didn’t know if it would be something you would have thought of. They’re your family, Lew. I can’t stand thinking we’re stealing you away from them again.”

Here he stood now, a hollow languid shape. Desire burned in him, hotter than vengeance and rage. Lewis yearned to race across the road and burst through those doors, see his family. Greet his siblings, embrace his Mamma and Pappa. Tell them that everything was okay, he was doing well and was ready for another adventure on the wild and open road.

Lies. He wasn’t okay, he hadn’t survived. Lewis’ state of presence had altered, he had been exiled from the plain of the living. There was no amending the issue with a smile and some comforting words. Only something so unmovable and indiscriminate in action could smooth out the fine scars left behind.

Time.

Lewis lost track of time. It was getting late and no one, Vivi, Arthur, or Mystery, had come to collect him. They let him have his brief pause of existence to absolve a piece of himself, but even that had interwoven grief into his musings. The part of him that was none physical, the vapor and core essence of himself that was more crucial than blood and bone, brain or heart. He didn’t belong here anymore, yet he was compelled and sentimental. His sense of adoration drove a thick spike through Lewis’ metaphorical heart, urging him to save his family, protect them from lies and false hopes.

Without a second glance, without regret, Lewis turns away and made his slow journey along the road. It is never cowardice to withdraw from the unconditional love of family, when one is already so well versed with how much pain is inflicted through goodbyes.

#msa #mystery skulls #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls fanfic #msa fanfic #mystery skulls animated fanfiction #msa fanfiction #msa lewis #msa arthur #msa vivi #msa mystery

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zoeytheweeb · 5 years

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Miraculous Ladybug: K-12 Chapter 1: Wheels on the Bus

AN: Sorry for disappearing, but I got inspired to write a new fic based off Melanie Martinez’s new album and, well, I ended up writing the outline for said fic (which was a lot easier to do compared to writing #notmychatnoir since I actually know how many chapters I want this new fic to have) so here we are! I might change the title, not sure yet, but for now, enjoy the first chapter of my new fic. Don’t worry though, the next chapter of #notmychatnoir is still in the works and Adrien will get his comeuppance! Also, you can read my new fic on AO3 here!

Chapter 1: Wheels on the Bus

I’m just looking out the window and it’s cold outside

There are two boys yelling behind me and I’m terrified

Counting trees as they pass me by

Marinette was bored. Well, not exactly bored per se, but she certainly wasn’t enjoying herself at the moment. She stared out the window, looking at the trees as they passed by. Her sketchbook sat on her lap, a new one that she had not used yet in case Lila tried anything when nobody is looking. That way, if her sketchbook did mysteriously go missing (read: stolen), then nothing she draws in it would have been of any real importance to her.

Currently, Marinette and her classmates, along with Ms. Bustier, were on a school bus making their way to their field trip destination. They were going to Maison de Victor Hugo to learn more about the well-known writer and write a report about what they have learned when they go home for the day. The assignment was worth a good portion of their final grade, but Marinette wasn’t worried about that.

Instead, she was very excited to go on this field trip. Even with Lila causing trouble and painting Marinette as a villain every chance she had, and taking most of her friends from her while she was at it, she was still able to look forward to going to school each day and not let Lila get to her. Although, it was not like Marinette actually had a choice in not letting Lila get under her skin. She is Ladybug, after all, she cannot afford to be akumatized, and even if she could, Marinette absolutely refused to let Lila of all people be the reason she would be akumatized in the first place. She would not give that brat the satisfaction of being her downfall.

And I’m trying not to look across the aisle

‘Cause Maya’s letting Dan put his hand up her skirt

And she’s got her hand down his pants

Speaking of which, Marinette glanced across the aisle from where she was sitting in the third row, rolling her eyes when she noticed Lila clinging onto Adrien’s arm as they sat next to each other. Marinette never understood why nobody noticed how uncomfortable Adrien looked whenever Lila put her hands on him, or even got near him for that matter. For that matter, Marinette also could not understand why Adrien never said anything about it when he clearly wanted to. However, she understands that he is most likely used to such behavior, especially since he never did much other than attempt to dodge Chloe’s tackles when she used to act the way Lila currently is around him, key words being “used to.”

That was something Marinette, and most likely everyone else when they’re not fawning over Lila, was surprised about. Queen Bee must have flipped a switch in Chloe, because after Ladybug gave her another chance to be a hero, Chloe started to become nicer. It was small of course, with Chloe visibly stopping herself from insulting everyone she came across and apologizing to everyone for everything she had done. Then, Chloe actually started to do nice things for people, especially Sabrina. Marinette was very proud of Chloe and made sure to tell her that after they became friends.

Glancing behind her, Marinette saw Chloe and Sabrina sitting at the back of the bus, quietly chatting about something. Knowing those two, and for once Marinette was happy to admit that she knew them, they were most likely gossiping, probably about Lila if the scoffs they threw her way whenever she opened her mouth to spew another lie were to go by.

Chloe looked around, most likely feeling eyes on her, when she locked eyes with Marinette. She gave a quick smile, a genuine one instead of the cruel smirk she had gotten used to receiving from Chloe, before turning back to her conversation with Sabrina. Marinette smiled to herself, giving Sabrina a small wave when she looked at her as well, before turning around to look back at Lila when she heard her speaking.

“Of course I knew him! I’m actually the great-granddaughter of Victor Hugo’s daughter, Leopoldine,” Lila was saying, still clinging onto Adrien as she lied to anyone that would listen.

“Wow, Lila!” Mylene exclaimed, sitting in the first row in front of Lila and Adrien, Ivan sitting next to her. Although, with how tall he is, it looked like Mylene was sitting on his lap to fit.

“Cool!” Kim shouted, sitting in the fourth row behind Marinette’s seat. Marinette could not see his expression, if she had turned around to look, she would have noticed Max, who was sitting next to Kim, frown at Lila’s claim. However, he said nothing, and his frown was gone as soon as it appeared.

“That’s awesome, dude!” Nino stated, sitting next to Alya as they sat in the second row in front of Lila.

“Ooh, you have to tell us everything, girl!” Alya stated, already pulling out her phone and recording Lila.

I know the driver sees it

I know he’s peeking in the rearview mirror

He says nothing

Trying to ignore it, it’s fucking boring

I’m quietly observing, I’m saying nothing

Adrien said nothing, simply choosing to smile nervously as his eyes glanced frantically around him, probably looking for a way to escape Lila’s grip without being too obvious about it.

Marinette quietly scoffed, trying not to draw attention to herself lest Lila decides to accuse Marinette of bullying her again. If Lila and her followers had actually done research, they would know that Leopoldine died when she was 19, along with her husband and their unborn child, she thought. However, she took comfort in knowing that only a few of her classmates were actually paying attention to her lies. Other than Chloe and Sabrina, who had both learned about Lila’s true nature after overhearing her threaten Marinette again, a few of their classmates saw through Lila’s lies as well now. Marinette looked at the seat across from Chloe and Sabrina, noticing Nathaniel shake his head softly at Lila’s back while Alix glared holes at the back of Lila’s head.

Nathaniel found out Lila was lying when she talked to him and Marc, claiming to have met a famous comic book writer, shortly after said writer had died. Alix, on the other hand, found out about Lila’s lies when she claimed to have participated, and won, in a huge roller-derby competition that Alix had managed to convince her father to take her to see two years ago. Needless to say, Alix was livid, and most likely would have done something drastic if Juleka and Rose had not been there to stop her.

Juleka and Rose were another two of Marinette’s classmates who had learned of Lila’s true nature. Juleka had always been suspicious of Lila, only choosing to hang out with her because Rose was excited about how amazing their new friend seemed to be. However, one day Rose had talked to Prince Ali, eagerly asking him what it was like to be friends with Lila. Poor Rose was devastated when Prince Ali told her that he had no idea who Lila even was and that he has not invited anyone to stay at his palace or worked on charity cases for pollution. He had apologized but had to hang up due to his tight schedule. After that, Rose and Juleka distanced themselves from Lila and her sycophants, taking everything Lila said with a grain of salt and only talking to her when she addressed them.

Of course, the four students apologized to Marinette for believing she was bullying Lila, and although it took a while for her to trust them, Marinette forgave them and tended to hang out with them along with Chloe and Sabrina, although it took the others a while to trust those two as well. Unfortunately, the rest of their classmates still believed Lila wholeheartedly, with the exception of Adrien of course but he is still content to take the high road and let Lila do what she wants, including Alya. At first, it had hurt to have her own best friend believe essentially a complete stranger over her, but Marinette has long since given up on getting Alya to see reason, especially after Alya continued to accuse Marinette of being jealous of the attention Lila’s getting from Adrien whenever she tried to show Alya proof that Lila was lying.

If Alya had actually bothered to listen to Marinette, then she would know that she is no longer interested in Adrien. A girl can only take so much pain and humiliation just for trying to confess to the boy before she decides that he’s not worth it, after all. Besides, after Adrien told her to take the high road, Marinette began to realize that her crush was not as perfect as she made him out to be and that her methods of trying to get him to notice her were very unhealthy and borderline stalker-ish. It had taken a while, but Marinette had finally taken the time to think about her crush, and after looking around her room, she realized that she seemed more like an obsessed fangirl than a love interest, much less a friend.

It was not easy to admit, it was even harder to let go of her affection for him, but with help from Tikki and surprisingly Chloe, although Chloe does not know about Tikki of course, Marinette had taken down all of the photos of Adrien she had on her walls. After some consideration, Marinette had even sold most of the birthday presents she made for him, specifically the ones she made for when he was older, much older. She kept the ones she made for him for his next birthday, deciding that at least it would be easier for her to give it to him in person, so he does not end up assuming his father made him the presents again. After all, she may not love Adrien anymore nor does she actually trust him to have her back as he said he would, but she still considered him a friend, even if they have not hung out as much as she would have liked, with and without a crush on him being in the way.

While she was at it, Marinette made birthday presents for her friends as well, so she would at least be prepared for their birthdays next year, especially if she and Chat Noir do not defeat Hawkmoth before then. She would hate him even more if he sent out an akuma before she could make presents and celebrate her friends’ respective birthdays.

Marinette had also decided to keep the schedule up, though she made changes to it. Instead of having only Adrien’s schedule on the chart, she had her friends’ and classmates’ schedules as well. Despite being late to school all the time, although she has been getting better at waking up early lately, Marinette loved being organized. The fact that she is the class representative only made that love for proper organization grow. It is her job to make sure all of her classmates can attend a certain event or field trip, and reporting to Ms. Bustier if they cannot. Marinette has also learned her lesson after Max was akumatized into Gamer again, and has decided to make a schedule for herself as well so she would not be overworked with everything she had to do anymore.

Marinette’s phone buzzed in her pocket, she had taken it out of her purse since she did not want the vibrations to disturb Tikki, who was currently sleeping. Already knowing who was texting her, Marinette smiled as she pulled out her phone to double-check that yes, Luka was texting her, most likely to see how she was doing. A faint blush bloomed over Marinette’s cheeks at the thought.

Luka: Hey, how’s the field trip?

Marinette smiled as she replied, explaining that they are still on the bus and that Lila was making up another lie.

A few days after Lila became Chameleon, Marinette ran into Luka, who had somehow noticed her bad mood and talked to her. It took some nudging, but Luka had managed to get the story out of Marinette, and they had spent a few hours sitting on a bench at the park, Luka listening intently as she explained the Lila situation. When she finished, Luka looked at her with a frown on his face. At first, Marinette had worried that even he did not believe her, and she would not have blamed him if that were the case, he is Juleka’s brother after all so he would probably believe his sister compared to a girl he had not hung out with much.

However, Luka must have sensed her worries, and quickly reassured her that he believed her, and Marinette had never felt as much relief as she had at that moment that she almost would have cried. Thankfully, she did not cry, although tears did still prick the corners of her eyes. Luka had wiped those tears away, and they went to get some ice cream. They spent the rest of the day just talking and hanging out, until Luka had to go home, not before promising to call and text her more often, and soon they began to hang out and get to know each other more.

Then Silencer happened, and after Luka confessed Marinette was left confused. She was still trying to get over Adrien at the time, and Luka must have realized that because he never brought up his confession again. That did not stop Marinette from thinking about it whenever she could, though. However, with everything going on with Lila and trying to get over Adrien, Marinette felt like she was not ready to date at the time. Now though, she has friends sticking by her side and she is completely over Adrien and feeling a lot better about herself. Somewhere down the line, Marinette realized, she began to get a crush on Luka as well, but she still stood by her decision to take care of herself first before taking the chance to date him.

Marinette had made that decision two months ago. Now, after talking to Luka the weekend before this field trip took place, and telling him that she feels ready to try dating, with the request of going slow, Luka had accepted her decision, congratulating her on taking the time to recover from everything before asking her out. Marinette had accepted, and now they are dating, and Marinette has never felt happier than she does when she’s with Luka.

No one’s watching us, don’t give a fuck

Wheels on the bus

I’m holding it down up in the front

Wheels on the bus

(Ooh, ooh, ooh) Wheels on the bus

Marinette’s phone buzzed again, signifying another text from Luka. However, before she could look at it, a voice caught her attention.

“Marinette?”

Said girl glanced up, looking around until she noticed Lila staring at her with a faux expression of concern on her face. Marinette held back a sigh, already knowing that whatever was about to happen would give her a headache.

“Yes?” She asked, just barely managing to keep the annoyance she felt out of her voice. Looking around again, she noticed that all eyes, except the bus driver’s of course, were on her now. Marinette was wary, wondering what Lila would try to pull this time.

“I just wanted you to know that I hope we can put aside our differences so everyone can enjoy the field trip,” She stated, putting a hopeful smile onto her face. However, the gleam in her eye that had gone unnoticed by her doting minions, but was definitely noticed by Marinette and the ones who knew she was lying stated that she definitely had something planned today.

Before Marinette could reply, the bus stopped. Glancing at the front of the bus, she noticed that they were at Maison de Victor Hugo. Ms. Bustier stood up, calling for the students’ attention.

“Alright everyone, remember that this field trip is for a graded assignment, so try to pay attention and actually learn about Victor Hugo,” She said, thanking the bus driver as he opened the doors before walking out, her students beginning to follow after grabbing their backpacks.

Only Lila and Marinette stayed behind, Marinette being held back by Lila before she could actually step out of the bus. This time, Marinette did not hold back her sigh, clutching her phone in one hand and her sketchbook in the other.

“What do you want, Lila?” She asked, letting the annoyance she felt seep into her voice.

“I want to know what you think you’re doing,” Lila growled, glaring daggers at Marinette, most likely trying to intimidate her.

After getting some of her friends back, and hanging out with Luka, Marinette had decided to ignore Lila unless she accuses her of something she did not do, like steal the answer sheet for a test along with a necklace that Lila used to claim she was the wielder of the fox miraculous. When she was getting over Adrien, Marinette had accepted that her friendships with her classmates would never be the same even after Lila eventually gets exposed, and she figured that if her friends did not want to believe her, then they were no longer worth her time. She had tried to warn them about Lila, and only a few people came around before it was too late, so she was done.

“I’m trying to enjoy this field trip, you should too,” Marinette replied, quickly walking off the bus before Lila could say anything. She walked towards her friends, looking back to see Lila glare at her briefly before she stalked towards Adrien, who was talking to Nino and Alya before she latched onto him again.

Now that she had no more distractions, Marinette put her sketchbook in her purse again and focused on her phone, smiling at Luka’s text.

Luka: Good luck, Ma-Ma-Marinette.

Mari: Thanks, I’m not too worried about Lila though, even if she is planning something. Anyways, we’re at the museum now so I need to go. I’ll text you later though!

She turned her phone off and put it in her purse, noticing that Tikki had woken up, giving her a quick smile before turning her attention to her classmates who were already walking into the building. She quickly caught up to them, smiling at Juleka and Rose when they glanced at her curiously.

Marinette was really looking forward to this field trip, and nothing, especially not an akuma or Lila, would knock her down from the cloud she found herself floating on more often these days.

AN: So, what did you guys think? Should I keep the lyrics or not? This is my first song-fic and second fic in general, so constructive criticism and thoughts would be appreciated! Also, like I said, the next chapter of #notmychatnoir is in the works so don’t worry, I’m not abandoning that fic! Also, let me know if you want to be tagged for this fic as well! :D

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theshinsun · 4 years

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brace urself, this is for the writing meta ask: 2, 6, 7, 14, 17, 19, 20 (if you need a direction for this... I always wanted to hear more about Bring Me Roses), 21, 22, and 24 bc i'm nosy and still very into your craft. thank you buddy!!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm so excited/terrified to finally start my knb college AU. I've been sitting on this idea for almost two years I'm so ready but at the same time I'm so not ready.

The gist is it's every single self-indulgent, chaotic, projection-ridden idea I've ever wanted for these boys all rolled in a big ball of shenanigans and character growth. It's a beautiful mess and I can't wait to make it happen as soon as ANR is done.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

This is gonna come right the fuck out of left field, but I love writing Himuro. I have so much fun writing just... snark, and that boy is the perfect outlet, there's no bottom to that salt mine. I remember getting a similar kick out of writing Tsukishima in the past, I just live for sassy dialogue. It ain't much but it's honest work.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

My style is very present, I think (which is funny bc there was a time I never would have considered writing present tense) focusing on what's happening and how it makes the character feel in the moment. I like to write specific, detailed imagery, but I try to keep it short and relevant to the scene, so I can move along and focus on what's important. I wouldn't call it fast-paced, exactly, but it is pretty to-the-point. And I think, based on the feedback I've received, that people who read my fics might agree with that. I've heard that my writing is very personal and character-driven, and I think that might be a byproduct of the time I spent writing in first person. Now I write almost exclusively third person limited, but I still like to get in the character's head and tell the story from their "point of view", I guess.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

It depends almost entirely on how quick I'm able to come up with a pun lol. Sometimes a fic has a title before I've even written the first sentence, sometimes I have to scramble for something, anything in the last few seconds before I publish it. A lot of the time I'll have a working title like "that one really fucked up aokaga oneshot" for pretty much the duration of writing a new fic… and a lot of the time I'll end up using song titles, even though we're past the days of writing songfics.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I think, to a degree, people get different things from my writing than I intended -- which is good! The way a piece of writing can be interpreted completely differently depending on who's reading it is one of the best things about being a writer tbh. I think people might be surprised, though, how different my fics often turn out from how I set out to make them. These days I've usually got a pretty detailed outline for what's going to happen, but even with all the preparation in the world, sometimes a fic will take a sudden detour I didn't expect, or something I wrote before will take on new meaning and change the direction I meant to go in. This definitely happens more with my longer fics, but there are times even with oneshots where I look back at what I set out to write, and what I ended up writing, and they're completely different.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I tend to write a lot of scenes with characters talking while in the car (cars are an intentional motif in ANR, but in something like GWGE there's not actually a lot of narrative purpose to this) I don't know why, maybe because it's a convenient way to have characters talk one-on-one, or maybe it's because I've had a lot of meaningful conversations while riding passenger, couldn't tell you, but it's cropped up more than once in my current fics and will probably feature in some of my upcoming ones (the college AU strikes me as a likely candidate), and I think it's worth taking note of.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

SINCE you mentioned Bring Me Roses, and I never really get to talk about it, pls allow me to go on a lengthy tangent about my most underrated fic of all time. (Like 90% of the reason it's still incomplete almost two years later is because the response when I posted it was so underwhelming, but I still stand by it. Someday I'll finish it, hopefully, if just for myself.)

I'm so fucking proud of the language in this one. It's not perfect, by any means, but the imagery in my opinion is very strong, and almost every line of dialogue is saying something without really saying it. There are frequent allusions that something happened to Aomine's mother, relatively recently, and that Momoi is worried about him overworking out of grief or guilt, but none of those things are ever actually stated. There's also some pretty heavy implicit flirting between Aomine and Kuroko, even if it's a bit unusual and they're both playing it coy at this stage, the chemistry is there and the interest is mutual. And of course, because it's a florist AU, the flower symbolism… I spent so long researching bouquets, plant husbandry, how to prep and preserve cut flowers, and of course… flower meanings. The main ones that keep getting brought up are dahlias, which have just as many negative connotations as positive ones, including betrayal and instability, but also dignity, creativity and change, and come in a variety of colors shapes and even sizes (Islander or "dinnerplate" dahlias were definitely going to feature in part 2… as well as the connection between them and Aomine's mother). I know a lot of these things might not hit as hard because there's no actual payoff (yet), but still, in terms of "show don't tell" and setting up things to come, I don't think I have a single better example in my fic repertoire, I really went all out with this.

It's a shame I never got to follow through, but I got the impression that there just wasn't a lot of interest, and even if that alone is kind of a dumb reason not to continue, after I worked so hard to pull off what I did, the lack of response really killed my motivation. (I wonder sometimes if it would've been better received if it was an AoKaga fic… actually, I don't need to wonder, I'm sure it would have been, but that's not the story I set out to tell and I'm not going to change it.)

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Oh, I'd love to do some of my fics as comics. I even tried it at one point; GWGE was going to be a comic originally, before I decided a multichapter fic would probably be less exhausting (the first couple pages are still floating around in my art tag somewhere, though this was back in high school so the quality is… heh).

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yeah… I reread a lot. Usually while I'm working on a new chapter, I'll go over the ones that lead up to it to make sure I don't repeat the same phrases too much and that the continuity lines up, and I'll also admit to going back and just reading my own fics for fun. Sometimes the only one who's written exactly what I want to see is me.

How I feel about them depends on the fic… some of my older ones are a mix of nostalgia and cringe tbh, but there are some I still genuinely enjoy revisiting from time to time.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh hell yeah. For… better and worse, honestly. I feel like I've lost some fluidity and confidence in my writing, and it sometimes turns kind of stilted, so I try to overcompensate which results in pretty jarring changes of tone, but at the same time, I've gotten much better with rhythm and syntax, my grammar skills are always improving, and I'm able to incorporate a lot more intentional meaning and subtext without always stating things outright.

#shin speaks #writer woes #this turned out... long #long post #knb #anr #bmr #gwge #aokaga #aokuro #meta #thanks friend it was really fun answering these!#not sure if I need a... readmore break here... ah well #answered

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imnotcameraready · 5 years

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chivalry is dead (epilogue 2)

A/N: wowee it’s been a long long long week. i just started my new job OFFICIALLY today! so yeehaw to that! its been a lot of working and running around but between everything i managed to not only crank this shorty out, but also get a headstart on epilogue 3. which is. gonna be long.,..the outline i write for myself pre-chapter writing is already longer than this chapter laksdghaslfk

WARNINGS: Remus is in it lol, a pillow fight, scars, mentions of weaponry, mentions of fights, argument mentions — hopefully this covers it! let me know if i missed anything!

Words: 2428

AO3 link!

MASTERPOST <-- here’s your one stop shop for all the other chapters and the long term warnings!!

enjoy! love you !!

Roman closed the door carefully behind himself, letting out an exhale. He then rested his forehead on the door, smiling a soft and true smile to himself.

It’d been a week since his little incident, and he had never felt so loved. Patton and him had cooked dinner, dancing around each other, and heck, they’d gotten Logan to sing when they revealed it was breakfast for dinner. Who knew the man could drop bars for Crofters? Well, they all knew, but he’d let Virgil tape it for future reference. Deceit had even helped do the dishes with Virgil afterward, leaning against each other in a way that — Logan posited the theory, but Roman was inclined to agree — was all too familiar to be a new thing.

All in all. It was fairly good. He was healing. He hadn’t changed his countenance around the others since his return, despite the gnawing desire to throw on a fresh layer of skin and his uniform every day. Sometimes, like today, he wore other kinds of fancy clothing. Playwright did have one thing on the money: vests looked so cute.

God, he was excited to lay down in bed. Hopefully continue to iron out his thoughts. They had a script, too, that had to be edited. He and Logan had to do that tomorrow.

“Oh, good, you’re back,” he turned around, hand flying to his sword on instinct, but the sound of compressed air being released eased his worries.

There were few constants in his room. He liked having a bed. His desk always remained the same, cluttered with papers and make-up products. Usually there was a window, so he could look out at some kind of view, and there were fairy lights, and a vanity mirror.

One such constant was the bookshelf. They’d made it soon after the first Split, a secret doorway between the two sides of the Mindscape, because they’d promised to be friends forever. That promise was usually under strain. They were at each other’s throats so often that it was easy to forget that they were also friends. And, at times when Remus’ morningstar was pressed against his chest, Roman’s sword drawing a thin line against his throat, it was easy to forget. So easy.

Still. They didn’t think anyone would approve of their promise, not after Creativity was split, regardless of why. The bookshelf would open if Roman pulled “The Prince and The Duke,” a fake novel for a fake door. The same thing would happen if, on the other side, Remus tugged the handle of the sword on his weapons wall. “As if I’d ever use something so boring,” Remus had joked when they made it.

There were times when they wouldn’t open the door for a day. Sometimes it wouldn’t open for weeks. Months. Years, for a small time. But they couldn’t disconnect the Imagination, would accidentally run into each other, would accidentally apologize. Would be friends again.

They’d been arguing, before the incident. Roman had been angry with how Remus made himself known in the last episode. He’d agreed to it once everyone else expressed that they thought it would match Remus’ characterization, would be comedic, would assert his villain-self, but Roman of course never agreed with it internally.

Remus had given him his space. And then had accidentally ended up trapped in the Imagination. That’d never happened before, so he sought out Roman, and, well. Found the Damsel instead.

Roman wondered if it was jarring. If Remus was angry with him. The Dragon and the Damsel were incredibly volatile and aggressive, even with him. The Dragon had said some things. Not all of them were things Roman agreed with, would have voiced had he been given the option, but they were all things he’d thought before. That he was objectively better. That Remus was cast out for a reason. Things Roman had definitely thought, but would die before voicing. Hopefully getting to physically kick the shit out of the Dragon helped Remus let off some steam.

“You’re quite put together, brother,” Remus drawled from the now-open doorway, “Do you have gel in your hair?”

Roman lowered his hand from his sword. There wasn’t any anger in his voice, but Remus was good at being unpredictable, even offstage. “I took everyone to see my library,” he spun around, then began unhooking his sheath belt from his side, “I thought it was a momentous occasion.”

Remus was still in his pajamas, an oversized sweater and some short-shorts, lazily eating some whipped cream straight from the canister. Roman watched as he lifted the container to his mouth and absolutely filled it with whipped cream, smacking on it happily. Then he held out the can to Roman.

Okay, so he wasn’t mad. That was nice. Roman’s shoulders finally loosened, and he nodded. Remus tossed the can across the room, which Roman caught and consumed easily, spraying his own mouth full of the air-liquid-solid sugary goodness. He could almost hear Logan telling him off for the unhealthy decisions but, well, c’est la vie and it tasted good.

He tossed the canister back and began taking off his vest as Remus entered the room, stealing a quick glance out the window as he did.

It seemed Roman was tired of the kingdom, because before them was a sprawling city, something out of a comic book. His room looked like it was the penthouse apartment of some building, looming over the other towers, cars honking and lights flashing below. It was night, and this was the night life of his city.

Remus was kinda fond of the city. Whether they were just people, or superhero and archnemesis, or unlikely companions on a mission, it was always so interesting. Yes, companions. You can’t expect Remus to always want to play the villain, despite it being his favorite role. And, similarly, when they were an evil duo….those were especially fun times, indeed.

He liked working together. Roman was a dumb bitch a lot of the time, yeah, he was soft and a people pleaser and was so full of himself that there wasn’t any room for anything else. But brothers were brothers, and he did love his brother. The other Sides got to love him, too, in a much different way. Remus wouldn’t hesitate to decapitate any of them if they were mean to Roman.

Oop! But for now!

He threw himself onto Roman’s bed, rolling around on top of it to get the blankets stinky, and then propped himself up on his elbows. Roman, now just wearing just his black slacks, shot him a look of disgust.

Meanwhile, Remus was just looking at Roman’s scars. He usually hid them; they were always striking. Remus had even given him a few! Like that one, on his shoulder — and that one, on the back of his neck — and that one, on his spine — “Do you mind,” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow at him while toying with the white dress shirt in his hand.

“Since when does your Highness physically do anything?” Remus joked, kicking a leg up in a pose. “You can just conjure on new clothes.”

“I’m going to physically throw you off of my bed if you keep messing it around,” Roman shot back, tossing his shirt at Remus.

He failed to catch the shirt and it smacked straight into his face, and thus Remus’ only viable answer, as a sibling and as a chaos gremlin, was to spray whipped cream into his brother’s bed. Retribution! The shirt covered his face, though, so he just laid down and made snow-angels. Except, you know. On Roman’s bed. Which was now covered in whipped cream.

“I’m just freshening it up for you!” Remus laughed, “I want all the best for my baby, baby brother!”

He heard Roman scoff, then make an incredibly offended noise. He probably finally noticed the disaster state that his bed was in.

“I’m older. And done,” Roman said, tone as defeated as they come.

“But you’re still a baby,” Remus responded as he rolled over, taking Roman’s shirt off of his face and throwing it back at his pajama-ed princely brother. Roman, now wearing pajama pants, grabbed the shirt and tossed it into his laundry hamper, where it promptly vanished. Why wash clothing when you can think up new ones? I mean, Patton enjoyed the concept of domestic activities, Logan enjoyed order, but Roman didn’t care much for doing chores.

Roman looked back at his mess of a bed as Remus hopped off of it, waving his hand to clean it. The whipped cream vanished, the blanket tucked itself once more, and the smell of roses wafted off of it.

“And you’re still a nuisance,” Roman found himself saying.

There was a pause.

Roman looked up. Why the fuck did he say that? He looked at Remus, who was halfway through the doorway. Putting away the whipped cream maybe?

Leaving now? He was frozen. Remus wasn’t moving, and Roman didn’t blame him. His throat felt like it was closing. He hadn’t meant to say that. Well, he had, but he hadn’t mean to be so mean.

He was always so mean! Always pushing the others away!

“I’m sorry, Remus,” Roman stepped closer, he didn’t want to keep pushing people away, he COULDN’T, “You’re not a nuisance. I...I’m sorry, I said a lot of things—”

“Don’t.”

Roman recoiled, flinching as Remus set the canister down in his room and turned around on the ball of his foot. His face was flat, lacking in expression, hands loose at his sides. It was always weird to see Remus without any exuberance.

It was weird, until Remus smiled. A small, kind smile. One of those smiles that only Roman and, on some occasions, Deceit was privy to. He held open his arms and Roman, well. He wasn’t one to deny a hug.

Remus’ hands curled around his shoulders, squeezing the living daylights out of him, while Roman just held him as tenderly as he could against himself. “I know what having no filter’s like,” Remus said, voice quiet and leading into a small, confessional giggle, “And I can’t say I haven’t thought equally devious thoughts about you, Prince Perfect.”

“That’s weirdly promising,” Roman murmured. His hand squeezed Remus’ shoulder, and he pressed his nose into his brother’s collar.

Figuratively, he did feel a weight leave his shoulders. He didn’t want to make an enemy out of his brother, no matter what the world expected of them. No matter what he wanted in the flash anger of a moment

“It is, isn’t it!” Remus squeezed him tight once more, then let go of him, grinning ear to ear as though he was proud, “I was a li~ittle offended at first but, well. It’s hard to offend me for long.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong about that one. Roman was often the one to instigate their arguments. Mostly out of offense.

He smirked, though the happiness, comfort in his eyes made it clear to Remus that he

“.....Thanks, Remus.”

“My pleasure, Prince Pea-brain,” then Remus giggled, and followed his statement with an elaboration, “Pee, you know, like pea but also like pee, like piss.”

“I see,” Roman leaned out of the hug, a small, happy smile on his lips. Sure, yeah, that was a disgusting image. He didn’t need to see it in his mind’s eye. But! He didn’t want to upset his brother!

Remus straightened up, then conjured a hot dog. He grinned cookedly and asked, “Gee, Roman, how come Thomas lets you have FOUR boyfriends?”

Roman laughed, moving back toward the bed, expecting Remus to leave almost. They were done, right? Remus didn’t have to stick around. Roman had no expectations. “Because I’m the hot twin,” he said with a smirk.

“Hot as a hot dog on the sidewalk pavement,” the hotdog in Remus’ hand turned into a pillow, which he used to smack Roman in the face with. “Covered in spilt popsicle and snow and pee, Prince Pee-brain.”

Roman spluttered, arms immediately shooting to protect his face, despite the pillow being a lot softer than a morning star. Still, he laughed.

At least it was a pillow!

“Holy fuck, ew,” Roman grabbed himself a pillow off of his bed and smacked Remus in the side with it.

Remus just laughed. These arguments were fun. The ones with no stakes other than making the other think something ridiculously outlandish.

It was good to have his brother back. Remus was certain Roman knew by now that he was happy to see him, he was so relieved that he was okay. Of course, he’d rather have his tongue cut out and grilled and served as BBQ before inflating Roman’s ego anymore, but, then again….he was glad that his concern was over Roman having too much of an ego than none at all.

“I’m right and you know it,” he retorted, smacking Roman once more in the head with his pillow before tossing it back onto the bed and hopping away toward the window.

Roman recoiled, making an exaggeratedly disgusted expression. He swung at Remus as he fled, but found him out of reach. At that, he “Am I allowed to hate that visual? Because I do.”

“Love you, too, Abel,” Remus stuck his tongue out at Roman, who smacked him with the pillow once more before tossing it back onto his bed.

Then, he fell against the cushions. It had been a week, yes, but everything was still sore. And Remus was just going to keep jumping around. Might as well verbally fence with him from laying down.

“I am a sacrificial lamb,” Roman’s voice took on a deadpan tone, “And God is my brother with a morning star.”

They both laughed at that one, airing out the last threads of the already. loosely-wound argumentative knot. Remus fell back against Roman’s bed with him, heads only lightly resting against each other, while Roman reached up. The ceiling opened up at his command, the Imagination swirling above them like a cyclonic galaxy, stars glittering on the black backdrop of nothingness and space. It was all theirs. Their kingdom, built separately yet together.

Roman exhaled. It was all so….pleasant. “Thank you, Remus,” he murmured. “For believing in me.”

Remus knocked his head against Roman’s, earning a small chuckle. “I always have.”

He paused for a second, turning back up to the ceiling, then added. “We’re the king, after all.”

“That we are,” Roman said, “That we are.”

Taglists!!

General: @jemthebookworm @okay-finne

chivalry is dead: @starlightvirgil @forrestwyrm @daflangstlairde @marshmallow-the-panda @askthesnake @k9cat @patromlogil @theobsessor1 @ninja-wizard101 @fandomsofrandom @sos-fandoms @gattonero17 @thiaholimon @psychixx

#chivalry au #roman #remus #roman sanders #remus sanders #my fic #fic #ts remus #ts roman #pics #lmao im sorry remus is canon now #sorry not sorry #i love him #he's my son and he just says what he thinks #they're dumb and soft ok i dont make the rules #thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts fanfic

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ptilopseth · 4 years

Text

POV you are my spotify as i repeat ‘covid-19 type beat’ ‘stay safe’ and ‘no flex’ while writing that part of this bit

sqrt(-1) love you bit, transcription of comic i need to scan. nothing truly saucy happens but you will be able to tell if you need to do the ol’ clickie off

BEEP.

The clock-in device for Rhodes Island emits its usual shrill sound, and Dr. Seth Warren steps into the building at five AM sharp. The base infrastructure smells of machinery, of cleaning solution, and of Seth really, really needing a coffee. After a quick detour with Dr. Kal'tsit ("remember to do your work, etcetera, etcetera"), Seth steps into his office and finds his usual secretary Ptilopsis arranging books. It's a surprise to see her actually awake at such an hour, considering her narcoleptic tendencies. "Hi, Ptilopsis." Seth sets his messenger bag to the side of his desk, and sits down to begin working on whatever recruitment papers or promotion sign-offs he's got to deal with today. "It is a new day. The Doctor is now online." Ptilopsis turns away from her books and towards Seth. "Detecting emotional surge within Ptilopsis." "Who're the roses from?" Seth eyes the very noticeable glass vase of red roses on his desk. Not often he receives such gifts from Operators. And it isn't like Dr. Kalt'sit or Amiya to gift him anything as extravagant as this. "They are from me." Ptilopsis says very matter-of-factly, as if Seth was supposed to suss that out from simply looking at them. "Oh. Well, thank you, then." "...I believe you are misunderstanding the intent of my gift." Ptilopsis walks over to Seth's desk to confront him directly. "Oh, am I, now?" Seth leans back in his chair, crossing his arms indignantly, as if there are often times where he understands anything at all. "Yes. You are. Out of 500,435 queries, I wanted to choose the most adequate vessel to express my feelings for you." "Wait-" "Doctor, may I remind you that roses are a stereotypical symbol of love." The words kinda stab Seth through the chest. His face flushes, but his reply does not indicate such an appearance. "Then you're lying." Ptilopsis tilts her head, confused. "You're lying to make fun of me." "Lying? Surely you are aware I cannot lie to you." "Yes, but-" "I ask you to stop there." And so it is done. "If you will notice the additional note on your desk, you will see that I have compiled a list of the most vital reasons that contribute to why I feel as I do. Please observe." Seth picks up the handwritten note, one created with very flowy handwriting unexpected for Ptilopsis. "Dearest Doctor Seth Warren: Through intense research and data analysis, I have concluded that I, Operator Ptilopsis of Rhine Labs, am in love with you. The flowers on your desk symbolize such feelings. Additionally, please review these ten reasons that I consider the most vital to my attraction towards you." Seth does as he is asked and reviews the ten. His eyes linger on #1: "As you are aware from reading my case file, Originium poisoning has allowed me to see the world in a newer light. As such, I realized recently that there is merit in attempting to observe the world through a less analytical lens. Of course, I cannot truly do as such unless my Oripathy is cured; but after exhaustive study of the object of my desire, and through one query, I have deduced that the serotonin which is delivered to the system nexus when I see you is the most vital reason behind my romantic feelings towards you." Seth sets the note aside and lays his face between his arms resting on the desk. "Ptilopsis..." "Yes?" "Are you sure? With me being- you know-" "I am aware you suffer from occasional bouts of a mental illness identified as depressive disorder. However, this will never affect my ability to, or degree to which I am romantically interested in you. And I truly see no harm in the transition of one's gender, so long as it provides you with some form of happiness or an increase to the mental or physical quality of your life." Seth turns away for a moment- "Or do you not trust my analysis? I may find need to rerun the queries I have calculated." -And turns back, now finding it difficult to look Ptilopsis in the eye. "Rerun them how?" And this isn't a lead-on; he's genuinely curious. "...Please do not reboot the system. Ptilopsis is analyzing your query. ...I have deduced via 40,523 queries that the most adequate way to validate the truth of my data is to participate in the common romantic gesture in which two or more parties press their lips together." Seth sighs, and stands up to face Ptilopsis, just a few feet away from her in front of his desk. "Ptilopsis... tell me you know what a kiss is." "Relax. It was just a joke." The two are silent for the longest two seconds of Seth's entire life. "If you are not comfortable with the gesture, I will not force you to participate." "No, it's just..." Seth's eyes well with tears, and- "...Ptilopsis has discovered that the emotional source behind your tears is that of dopamine. Why do you cry? Is something the matter?" Seth buries himself in Ptilopsis' strangely comforting hug. "I'm alright." "Is this a verifiable truth? I do not want to leave you in such a state." "Yeah." "Then what is the meaning behind your tears?" Seth pulls away from Ptilopsis. "Because, I- Ptilopsis, nobody has ever said they loved me like that before. Not like you have." "I see. Please do not reboot the system. Ptilopsis is analyzing your query. ...I have formulated a solution through 435,642 queries. I will simply take it upon myself to remind you. ...Adding protocol to base system commands. ...Protocol added. Initiating protocol." And with the ghost of a smile on her face, the most she can manage: "I love you. I love you in such a way that I do not believe data can adequately describe. There is something very strange about the ways you push yourself, but I will admit it is one of your multiple admirable qualities. Despite your lack of memory, you have never hesitated to call on others when you falter. A capable leader knows when to perform such an act. You also have a certain way of bringing yourself up from your downfalls. You may tend to keep to yourself, but rest assured that I can assist you in managing such emotional valleys. Lastly, for now at the very least, your craft has always sparked some kind of interest within me. The system nexus has encountered errors while attempting to parse your creative works, but that does not mean I do not support you in such endeavors. In fact, I will ponder these errors from now on and make an effort to repair the system and fix them." "I..." Seth is expectantly speechless. "You do not have to weave such prose in response. A four-word reply will suffice." "I love you too." "Is Ptilopsis granted administrative permissions to go forth with the earlier activity outlined?" "Yes. But! Do I have permission to get saucy with it?" "Based on the associations of your previous uses of the phrase, I have deduced the meaning of 'get saucy.' Ptilopsis gives you full administrative permission to 'get saucy' so long as it assists in satisfying such a need." "Well- it's not a need, but... I'm not into it unless you are." "Do not worry. Ptilopsis is currently experiencing such a desire. I do not need to deduce via query that I am very into it." "Good," Seth leans close to Ptilopsis, so close that their lips are brushing. "Just had to check." And the two kiss, Ptilopsis' arms finding their way around Seth's waist, and Seth positioning his hands on Ptilopsis' hips. With a series of intricate steps to the right, Seth presses Ptilopsis against the bookcase flush with his office wall, and releases from the kiss. His lips graze down Ptilopsis' face, and come to rest just above her collarbone. "Ptilopsis has deduced that the action you are about to take is one that would result in the creation of what I believe is a hickey." Seth leans up, looking to Ptilopsis, suddenly embarrassed. "Do you not want that?" "I do not mind. I will notify you if you take an action I do not want to be a part of." Slightly less embarrassed, Seth leans back down and gently bites into Ptilopsis' neck, once on the right and twice on her left. "Ptilopsis has a request." "Yeah?" Seth brings himself back up to Ptilopsis' eye level. "Do I have administrator permissions to take part in the same action?" Seth nods. Ptilopsis latches onto Seth's neck just below his jawline; Seth's breath hitches. "Uh-" Ptilopsis immediately retracts. "Did I go too far?" "I- uh, yes, I think? Sorry, I just-" "Pay it no mind. I will not continue if such an action discomforts you in any way." "But I-" "The system nexus has a very high tolerance for what you personally consider 'saucy,' as stated earlier. Do not worry." "Gonna be honest with you. No idea why I asked you that." "It is fine. I believe I will ask the same thing if such a situation as this ever occurs again." "You want it to?" "I do not need to run a query to determine that my answer is a definite yes." And just then, Seth's phone rings from inside his jacket pocket. He carefully removes one of his hands from Ptilopsis' waist to grab his phone and answer it. "Hi?" "Hi, boss?" There's only one Laterano at Rhodes Island with that pep in her voice at five in the morning: Exusiai. "What's up? "You were supposed to be briefing us in the RIIC command center fifteen minutes ago." "Fuck." "Where are you? I saw you clock in this morning, and then you probably went to your office, but, like, I know Kal'tsit gives you a lot of paperwork, but not that much, right?" "Uh. I had some complications." "Complications, right." Exusiai says it in a knowing tone. "...I won't rat you out, boss. Promise." "Not a lot of people can say that, Exusiai." "Can you put Ptilopsis on the phone real fast, though?" Seth hands the phone over to Ptilopsis. "Hey, Ptilopsis?" "What may I assist you with, Operator Exusiai?" "I assume it worked?" "Yes it did." "Cool. But that was meant to take, like.. a few minutes? What happened?" "We had some complications." "Oookay, now I want to know." "Seth and I mutually decided to begin making out in the middle of his office. We then gave each other hickeys." "...I'm gonna hang up. Just get to the command center." "Affirmative." Ptilopsis hangs up the call for the two of them. "What was that about?" "Operator Exusiai will not tell anyone. She swore a vow of secrecy when I first asked her for advice on how to best court you." Seth steps away from Ptilopsis, his non-free hand accidentally lingering on Ptilopsis' hip for a moment longer than intended. "Court me? Awfully, uh... formal." He walks over to his desk and picks up his messenger bag, hoisting it over his shoulder. He takes his phone back from Ptilopsis and tucks it back into his jacket pocket. "It is simply the truth." "Court, like, date? Or marry? Or intercourse?" "I have deduced through three queries that the appropriate answer to this question is 'yes.'" Seth's face turns beet-red. "Oh. I think we should go on a few dates first, though." "I am in agreement. I do wish to truly know you before advancing in such measures as described." Seth does one last sweep for missing items. All good. "Wanna head out?" "Yes. Although I would like to ask for administrative permission to perform two tasks." "We're late." "They will take only a moment." "What's up, then?" "As a gesture of goodwill, may I lightly kiss your cheek?" "Yes, what? You don't have to ask about that." Ptilopsis provides a quick peck on the cheek in affirmation of Seth's reply as the two make their way out of Seth's office and into the hallway. "I would also find joy in performing the classic romantic gesture of holding hands as we walk to the command room." "My palms are sweaty, Ptilopsis." "I do not mind." "Pff- okay, you win." Seth closes the door to his office, locks it, and takes Ptilopsis' hand in his. ...And then, from around twenty feet back, in the shrill tone of a Supporter Operator whose skill with mechanics is unmatched: "Ohmygod, Ptilopsis and the Doctor are dating?!"

#sqrt(-1) love you #text #fic

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tardistimes · 4 years

Text

Change: Chapter 3

Summary: In the aftermath of X-Men: First Class, Moira MacTaggert struggles to regain her memories but perhaps with the help of Nick Fury she may come closer to discovering the truth.

Fandoms: X-Men (Prequels), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Comics), Agent Carter

Word Count: 2,200

Mr Stark (Howard, as he kept insisting), Dr Wilkes, and Dr Samberly had taken more scans than Moira could count, more blood than she would have thought possible to live without, and asked more questions than she could recollect. When they were done, she was shepherded into one of the standard bunks for on-site personnel members, after being told it was too late – or more accurately too early – to travel home. It was also wise not to drive back to the city given the last test had involved Samberly shining lights into her eyes for several minutes. Bright spots still flashed behind her eyelids when she blinked.

Thankful to have a room to herself, Moira dropped onto the bottom bunk and leaned her head back against the smooth stone wall. There was a short thrill when the situation stirred a feeling of familiarity but it quickly disappeared, offering no flashes of forgotten memories.

Moira took a deep breath as she contemplated the day ahead. She was going to be an agent again. Going through another induction and more training. Hopefully, unlike last time, the new S.H.I.E.L.D recruits wouldn’t spend the whole course at the academy tormenting her for having her reproductive organs on the inside. In response to their jibes that the closest she would ever get to agent status was to sleep with one of them, she went and got one of the highest scores on record. Much to her team’s displeasure.

She stood up to take off her suit before settling under the covers. Dr Wilkes had offered to find her some clothes for tomorrow but, in case he forgot, it wouldn’t do for it to get wrinkled. As her mother always said, first impressions are the most lasting. Agent Carter had told her on the journey down to the labs that if she was willing she would need to go through an induction tomorrow, originally scheduled for some entry-level scientists, which she would need to complete before she could be assigned to a superior officer.

“It’s nothing too complicated.” Carter had explained. “Just some routine history on the organisation, an explanation of the various divisions and what to expect during your training.”

“How long will my training last?”

“Given your experience with the CIA there should be some areas you are already adept at – but you should be prepared for it to last a while. We’ll make sure it’s worked around whatever the doctors come up with. I’m sure if we gave them their way you’d be down there all the time. They do love their tests.” She sighed, well familiar with their antics. “I’ve worked with Howard since the war and when he’s confronted by something of a conundrum he really does devote himself to it. He’ll have you in the lab fairly regularly until he’s found a solution.”

Lucky me, Moira had thought idly. She’d had her fair run of physical examinations, both at the academy and during her time as an agent; despite the regularity, she had never grown to like them.

“What does S.H.I.E.L.D training entail?” Moira asked as they turned into a maintenance stairwell and proceeded downstairs.

“For a field agent you’ll receive relative strength training, language tuition – although Fury informed me you already speak proficient Russian, so that may not be necessary – then there’s instruction in weapons handling, martial arts or boxing are also common options. Although that really all depends on your superior officer and what they advise. Your test scores from the CIA prove you’re already efficiently trained in the basics so, personally, I’d move you straight into more specialised fighting styles.”

“Being a field agent involves a lot of action then?” She inferred.

Carter stopped at the entrance to the laboratories. “If that’s something you’re opposed to, we could move you into reconnaissance or into a team, something less physically demanding?”

“No, no I’m not opposed to that. And I’m glad of the opportunity to learn more, I just...” Moira breathed, “I’m just wondering how peaceful an organisation you are if your standard training programme involves martial arts or boxing?”

“The CIA offers boxing electives.” Carter defended.

“Yes, but they are elective.” And something she wasn’t given access to as a female agent.

“S.H.I.E.L.D will never force you to do something you don’t want to. But we do want to ensure that you are prepared and capable of keeping yourself, and those around you, safe.”

Carter held the door open for her and ushered her into a lab that must have spanned half the length of the first floor.

“I suppose boxing could be interesting,” Moira admitted.

Tossing onto her side, Moira took a deep breath before flipping the light switch by her head off. It didn’t make much of a difference to the brightness of the room; the yellow streetlights outside the barracks streamed through the uncovered window. She turned over to face the wall. Her eyes were closed for half a minute before they opened again.

As ridiculous as it sounded, she felt like it was the first day before school. Except, instead of school, she had signed up to work for yet another intelligence agency. An agency where she would be working on more cases like the Hellfire Club. Encountering, what? More mutants, more people with powers – natural or manmade?

She was effectively forced out of the Mutants Division. For what, her humanity? At least S.H.I.E.L.D was run by and populated by her own species who didn’t expect her to have powers and fight psychopaths determined to start a new world order by killing all humans. Well, she might still be expected to fight psychopaths.

Carter made it sound like she would have the opportunity to learn some incredible things. Moira had always been jealous at the academy by the men who went into the boxing club. Her superiors had argued she couldn’t partake as there were no other women for her to fight, and it would be unfair to pit her against a man. Now she could learn it. Maybe another language too, something she had long wanted to do.

Yet there was still something that didn’t sit right with her. A feeling that worried away at her, twisting in her gut. A feeling, much like she had experienced when she’d entered the bunks and had experienced a moment of familiarity with the situation. Was it possible a ghost of memory was enough to make her feel this way? That, despite missing the memory, something about her time in the Mutants Division was enough to leave her apprehensive about joining S.H.I.E.L.D?

Another question she would have to leave unanswered until – if – she got her memories back.

She tried to think rationally. What was it about S.H.I.E.L.D that worried her? There was the fact that she still didn’t really understand much about the organisation or what her part in it would be. Was it also possible that even without her memories she still felt a loyalty to Xavier and the other mutants? And was that loyalty even her own or something that had been implanted in there when he’d rooted through her mind? To stop her from doing what she potentially would. To inform an intelligence agency about the mutants. To give away their secrets.

Shuffling until she was on her back, Moira’s eyes clenched shut as the yellow light crossed her face again.

She could still walk away.

“Moira?”

Eyes snapping open, the yellow light had been replaced by soft sunlight, slightly shadowed by Agent Carter who was hovering next to her bed.

“I did try to wake you by knocking. You’re due in the conference hall in half an hour.” She apologised.

“I don’t even remember falling asleep.” Moira murmured, sitting up.

“I guess we should put alarm clocks in here. I’ll just leave you to get dressed. There are some toiletries in the drawers if you need it. Meet me in the hall when you’re ready.” Carter said before taking her leave.

Wilkes hadn’t lived up to his promise to get her some fresh clothes. Evidently, Carter was right. Give scientists a puzzle to crack and everything else falls by the wayside. Thankfully after brushing her hair through and putting her suit back on she still looked presentable, if a little ruffled.

Carter passed her a bagel when she opened the door. “Howard had them flown in from New York.”

“Thank you,” Moira said. Agent Carter didn’t seem to find that strange, so such luxury must be fairly commonplace which she found quite amusing.

“Are you giving the induction?” She asked. Moira found it rather strange that the co-founder of the entire organisation was not only escorting her to a routine induction for new recruits but was also waking her up and giving her breakfast.

“No, someone else will.”

“Oh. Well, I’m sure I can find the room if you have something else to...” she trailed off under Carter’s scrutinising gaze. “Is something the matter?”

“Once the session is over Howard wants you in the lab again. Apparently, he had some equipment brought in from Stark Industries to run more tests with.” She replied, looking forward again.

“All right,” Moira said unsurely, making quick work of her bagel to fill the rest of their silent walk. Despite her offer, she doubted she could get to the conference room alone after the number of corridors they turned down to get to there. Without Carter, Moira was positive she would have lost her way. The S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters were impressively large. It really was incredible their organisation managed to remain secret.

“Pay close attention,” Carter said as means of goodbye, leaving her at the door. “I’ll be testing you later.”

Eventually, eleven other recruits joined her. As promised they were all scientists but the induction was generalised and covered the scope of the organisation. Specialists – which, after hearing the outline of training Carter had provided, appeared to be Moira’s career trajectory – were entry-level three. According to this structure, there were six levels in total, although, given the command structure Moira had seen so far, she was positive there had to be higher clearance levels. Evidently so high no one could know that they existed.

The lecture involved a loose history about the S.S.R, Super Soldier’s Initiative and Hydra before progressing onto the establishment of S.H.I.E.L.D and the roles played by Stark, Carter and Phillips in its foundation and current operations. The director of S.H.I.E.L.D, Rick Stoner, was touched on but there was no mention of Agent Fury. If he were a simple liaison as claimed, it would make sense no references were made to him, but Moira felt that his responsibilities in the organisation were more complicated than that, given his role among the other powerful players during her interview yesterday.

Carter’s role in the establishment of S.H.I.E.L.D surprised her immensely as the speaker went into depth about her role with the S.S.R, Howling Commandos and working alongside Captain America – who was real, with a picture to prove it – to defeat Hydra. By all accounts, she was a highly skilled field operative who did the majority of the groundwork in building the organisation after Stark and Phillips came up with the novel concept. The three of them quickly promoted S.H.I.E.L.D from a U.S. to an international agency, coming under the authority of the United Nations, giving it near global authority. Frankly, it was a complete wonder how she, an ex-CIA agent, had never heard of it. To function on that scale, the operation must be enormous.

By the time the lecturer had finished, Moira was feeling that her reaction when entering the meeting yesterday was decidedly inadequate.

Letting the scientists, who were already discussing their upcoming work, pass before her she found herself sharing half smiles with the other female recruits who walked past her. Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D was the place for her after all.

Agent Carter was sitting primly in one of the armchairs outside in the waiting area. Moira almost felt star-struck and, judging by the double-takes from the other recruits, she wasn’t the only one.

“Now then,” Carter began, a wry grin crossing her face, “what does S.H.I.E.L.D stand for?”

“Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division.” Moira replied slowly, doubting her answer the entire time she gave it. It really was a ridiculously long name.

“Who created the Super-Soldier Serum?”

“Dr Erskine.”

“Who was the first person to take the serum?”

“Johann Schmidt… also known as Red Skull.” She added, trying to score extra points.

Carter pursed her lips, satisfied with Moira’s answers. “Be warned, I’ll keep testing you.” She said, rising from her seat.

“Are you here to take me to the lab?”

“No, I will let you find your own way today. I dare say you need to get familiar with this building, you’ll be spending a lot of time here. What I am here to tell you is that I expect you to meet me at the training facilities, that’s just beside the eastern gate, at 0800 hours tomorrow. I would make it earlier but you need time to commute from home. Just be sure to set an alarm, I won’t tolerate tardiness.”

Moira frowned and hastened to follow her as she started marching ahead. “I don’t understand. You’re training me?”

“Yes. As of right now, I’m your superior officer. Do not let me down.” She said, her warm tone undermining the strictness of her words. “I don’t undertake personal training of new recruits often so I expect the best you can give me, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Not ma’am. Agent.” Carter corrected.

“Of course, Agent Carter.” Moira said, her lips twitching into a slight smile before she hastily corrected it.

#moira mactaggert #moira mactaggert x charles xavier #moira x charles #x-men first class #marvel cinematic universe #agent carter #peggy carter #nick fury #s.h.i.e.l.d #formerly abandoned fic #editing old chapters

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