#money dysphoria

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hi everyone,

First, I’d like to thank everyone for sharing their pictures of pets! I really appreciated it. ♥️

I’ve noticed that I can’t posted any interesting articles lately. I found out that is very interesting!

It talks of something called ‘money dysmorphia’, Here’s an excerpt:

…While surveying 1,006 US adults above the age of 18 from 18 to 26 December 2023, researchers found that these feelings were found predominantly among younger adults, specifically 43 per cent of Gen Z and 41 per cent of millennials.

This new phenomenon was defined as “money dysmorphia,” which describes the distorted view of one’s finances, and how it could contribute to poor decision-making as a result. Those who experienced this issue were more likely to feel financially behind their peers, with 82 per cent reportedly noting that they struggled with financial insecurity.

The link will be below in case anyone wants to read more:

[no-brain-just-good-omens]

realistically i know DIYing my top surgery is a bad idea. however. i am a big boy and i think i can handle it

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[species-dysphoria-culture-is]

sdc is the dysphoria getting so bad youre willing to spend hundreds of dollars on just one piece of gear (i did in fact buy 800 dollar wings yes)

.

[noraqrosa]

suddenly remembering the time (2017 or 2018 iirc) i went to an anime convention cosplaying as Grell Sutcliffe from Black Butler and proceeded to get misgendered by nearly everyone at the con. for the record, for those unaware, Grell is canonically a trans woman; in-story characters constantly misgender her, but these characters are very obviously being mean, and at every opportunity she asserts her gender.

(the same con i saw people persistently misgendering someone in a cosplay of Diamond from Land of the Lustrous, a series where the majority of the characters canonically go by they/them in official English translations)

what i'm saying is the late 2010s were a hellish time to be a trans person in cosplay, especially as a character who isn't a traditionally "passing" character (or, in the latter case, as one who doesn't go by he or she).

[sprklgender]

Some trans people will never get surgery or hormones. Whether it's because they can't or don't want to. Some people's identities are too complicated to be fixed with medical transition and for some, their body doesn't impact their gender enough to change it. I think everyone needs that reminder. Because some of us aren't going to ever pass, and that isn't a moral failing. You have a right to your identity no matter how you express it on the outside. Everyone's body is already different. I just think some people need that reminder.

[heaven-helpus]

i need a gender tooth fairy to show up while im sleeping and take my tits

[canidbld]

♠️ . Black Shuck Carekit

ⓘ — sources under cut ▼

▸ Black Shuck : Canis Mythologica // RaeWardStuduos

▸ Goth Floppy Black Ears (+ Tail) // NekoFamShop

▸ Stainless Steel Chain Heavy Weight Necklace // QueerFangs

▸ Bloody Bones Candy // CoolMomSprinkles

▸ Black Heavy Knit Blanket // HandsOnForHomemadeUS

▸ Black Shuck 1577 Tee // SidSpidersnake

[reallyneedsalife]

it's a bad gender day

[lazulisong]

the guy at the clinic solemnly swore that he would follow up about the paperwork not showing up yet. do i believe him? no. but i'll wait till friday before i become their worst nightmare.

[binders-and-beanies]

Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

how does one like. get a binder

[starvingwiththestars]

gonna be honest,, the only reason i have an ED is to make up for the fact that i can't medically transition

[naamahdarling]

.

[something-about-sunflowers]

Yknow. It's funny. I always thought that I didn't have like. A noticeable amount of dysphoria about my tits? But it's recently occurred to me that the fact that - unless I'm showering or changing my clothes entirely - I avoid taking my bra off if I don't have a shirt on, and the part of getting dressed in the morning I dislike most being taking my shirt off to put my bra on. Like. IS dysphoria.

I don't really have a problem with them BEING there but I think I prefer them when I can dress around them? Which sometimes includes showing them off, yes, but increasingly I'm getting frustrated at the prominence of my cleavage in like. Regular things. Tank tops and such.

I legit think I'm actually dysphoric about them.

Which like. Is funny I'm just. Idk realizing? This? Considering I KNEW I wanted top surgery. But I was coming at it from the angle of 'the gaining of euphoria doesn't necessitate the presence of dysphoria'. You can be happy with a change without having to hate or be uncomfortable with what was there before. I'm just. Realizing in this specific circumstance that I AM uncomfortable with what I have now.

Gender is weird lmao.

[sidereon-spaceace]

yknow. sometimes there are things I miss about working from home