#money issues cw

[ladyjmontilyet]

last night i dreamed there was a shop near my house called magoo that was a pizzeria but also had a bakery and they were selling 5 donuts for €30 and i also wanted to get a pastry for my nana but that was €30 on its own too so i just left them and screamed at them what a rip off it was as i left and got into the car next to my nana

[emmatriarchy]

// gotta hate when you pay off some debt you had, in full, and the bailiff acknowledges you paid in full but goes "btw here is some additional fee to pay now that you've paid the principal"

GODS I hope the system gets overhauled at some point.

[zephyrartz-owo]

Mental Health Tip! Don't skip meals lest you be fighting demons

[edwardallenpoe]

Um. Prepare yourself for the s&co episode. The representation (if you can even call it that) of DID is BAD. Once I realized that the person had DID I was pretty pissed to say the least. I emailed them like 4 paragraphs on how shitty that was. I feel like a Karen but it was honestly deserved. But if you’re upset by portrayals of people with DID I’d skip this one.

i opened my inbox this right after listening to it. Thank you for the heads up tho, but it is far too late.

I honestly feel a little sick. Not gonna lie.

"we now understand more about the human condition" I lost braincells, John. I think we actually DEVOLVED. We LOST knowledge of human existence with this one, chat. And then. Also. John defending Tory's. Ya this was a really fucking bad episode. Wow. It was so avoidable. That entire thing was so avoidable.

You are definitely not a Karen for emailing them, I'm low-key tempted to email them myself but I won't. I need to process that dumpster fire for a little longer. Wow.

It's like. I specifically remember Sherlock listing off DID on his disorder list in the first fucking episode. He has DID. Did Joel and co literally look up the index for the DMS-5 then put them in their notes app or something?????? Like were they just like "yeah anything and everything but PTSD for the plot mate" just for Sheelock to have smt to say?????? It's seems so impossible to me that they have such amazing rep for both PTSD and autism and such but DID was butchered that badly. Woooow. I can't even.

I love this show but that was. So bad. I rlly hope Joel says smt soon about this because woooow . That's all I can rlly say. Just wow.

[r0semultiverse]

A message to the recent & future transgender pick-mes.

If you’re a trans pick-me (no matter where you align with gender) there’s a special place in Hell just for you & I don’t even believe in Hell. Having trauma isn’t excusing your actions of going out of your way to hurt other people actively. It explains that it comes from a place of hurt potentially or you’re just turning into a rage-bait influencer because it makes you money. Either way you come after trans people who don’t do being trans exactly like you so they “aren’t really trans.” You get a taste of the right-wing rage-bait money pot & you wanna keep going because money & maybe some weird part of you thinks this will save you from transphobic attacks? Honey, we’re all just fags to them no matter how we look or act. Even if you’re a cis person not following the norm or unaware of the politics of it all, you’re still just a faggot to them who they will eventually want to snuff out. I’m saying this as a tranny fag just to be clear! You can’t be playing these exclusion games & thinking it’s going to make you powerful! Even Milo Yionnapolis or whatever that fucker’s name was got dropped by the Trump Administration! They do not like us & they never will like us! Democrat, republican, whatever it is; if it’s capitalist, it doesn’t like us! No matter how much you lick those boots, it’ll do you no good. You’re a faggot/tranny just like me & the rest of us, that’s how these suits see it & always will see it no matter how much you try to prove “I’m one of the good ones.” They aren’t going to save you, we’re all on the chopping block to them no matter what our politics are. These government folks don’t see any of us as “one of the good ones.” Get over yourself, grow the fuck up, and stand side-by-side with your transsexual siblings! All we have is each other, these cis people aren’t shit! 💜 Down with cis! 💜

[candicewright]

Cw // vent, discussion of emotional/physical/sexual abuse, mentions of body image issues and controlling food habits

This might be a bit worrying to read but I promise I'm fine lmao we are already planning to leave I just needed to put this in writing.

Three years of "you shouldn't wear that much makeup" "you will be a great housewife" "you're weird" "you're insensitive" "you're too sensitive" "you're uncaring" "you don't have empathy" "you're a liar" "you're made of stone" "you don't say hello enough" "you don't look me in the eyes enough" "you eat too much" "you eat too little" "you always agree with your father" "you shouldn't be a psychologist because you don't care about people" "you have such a tiny and pretty body, why would you want to gain weight" "you must be glad your mom died before you started university so you can focus"

And that's just me.

You called my dad manipulative and abusive when that's only ever been you. You called his girlfriend a mop, said that she should serve you, said that she should marry my dad so that if she dies of cancer he can get money. You comment on everyone's lifestyle and compare them based on how much you approve of them. You rank your grandchildren in terms of intelligence, work ethic, salary, partners, etc and you do so in front of us. The first time you met my mom you took the chair from under her so that she would fall to the floor. You've sexually harassed my dad's girlfriend, her daughter, your granddaughter, your granson's girlfriend, random waitresses, and cleaning staff and those are only the instances I have seen. You've been physically abusive at least once with my dad that I know of.

Your wife died of lung cancer and she asked explicitly that you didn't come near and denyed you hugs when she was hospitalized.

You've caused my dad so much stress that he has incredibly high blood pressure now with the worries that entails.

I'm done. I tried to love you as family but YOU have made that impossible. We may live in the same house, but you're not my grandfather anymore.

For my own wellbeing, I can't care about you.

[heartbeetz]

I love finding mold all over the back of my furniture right next to my bed ♡♡♡♡♡♡

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[karmirage]

incomplete list of niche characters i restrained myself from submitting to the niche comic character tournament

Ryoko Sabuki/Radiance: 7 appearances. Granddaughter of Gwen Lou Sabuki, whom I did submit. Biggest sensation since Dazzler, which would mean more if Marvel remembered Ryoko existed. Light generation and manipulation, just like her grandma.

Ameiko Sabuki/Goldfire: 9 appearances. The dead sister of Ryoko. I don't think she ever even showed her face in her non-powered form.

Leyu Yoshida/Sunpyre: 9 appearances. The dead little sister of Shiro Yoshida/Sunfire.

Marnie/The Rumor: 9 appearances. Spider-Man side character. Badass old lady. Figured out Peter Parker = Spiderman in like two issues.

Takeshi Matsuya/Wiz Kid: 29 appearances. He's literally so funny to me. I think he should be allowed to say fuck.

Nuwa: 2 appearances, once in an X-Force annual and once in a Tabitha Smith oneshot story. Her personality shifts wildly between those two and they never elaborate on why.

Tamara Kurtz/Dragoness: 28 appearances. Evil and loving it. Has wings, but they're technological, not part of her mutation.

Rina Patel/Timeslip: 19 appearances. No hate to whoever submitted Robbie, but she is definitely the more niche New Warrior.

Georgia Dakei/DK: 13 appearances. I like it when teenagers sass tf out of adult characters I think it is so fucking funny.

Sybil Dvorak/Skein: 44 appearances. her original villain name was a slur and i am SO glad they changed it. canon sensory issues queen. Also evil and loving it. Canonically bisexual (for evil).

Larry Bodine: 1 appearance. This is the guy from New Mutants vol. 1 who killed himself after his classmates joked about outing him. Yes this is the issue of NM with Kitty's infamous slur speech.

Rebecca Littlehale/Lighttrakker: 3 appearances. Kid from Power Pack who could teleport to light sources she could see.

Helen Takahama/Jolt: 74 appearances, which makes her the least niche character here. I need to reread Thunderbolts. In MC2 (Mayday Parker's universe), she was an Avenger.

Charlie Burlingame/Charcoal: 41 appearances. Created by a reader via a Wizard magazine contest. Legal problems means that he was never brought back when he was killed off.

[inavagrant-a]

Raising teenagers and trying to prepare them for adulthood is so stressful.

[giantkillerjack]

"Oh, Jack. You silly boi. You know that help at the top of the stairs is no help at all."

---

Art piece i may delete later about my parents offering money to me and my sisters to pay for either grad school (a thing I don't want and can't do with my disability) or my wedding (also a thing I don't need/want), but not for anything that would actually help me escape poverty and find stable housing and income.

Like, I recognize the privilege of being able to complain that my parents have offered me a bunch of money but in the wrong way.

But also if that money is on top of a flight of stairs that I can't climb (but my sisters can), then I haven't really been offered money, so much as I have watched money I need be placed somewhere I can't reach it. Which tbh feels worse than if it was never mentioned to me in the first place.

I was gonna send this art to them and i wrote this big long message to go with it, but then I decided to wait until my therapy session on Tuesday to talk it thru with her first, since I've literally never regretted doing that.

Besides, both of my parents are lawyers and right now they're providing me and my friends with a lot of free legal advice about this property we're trying to buy together, so I don't want to rock the boat currently.

I just wish I knew if I had access to that money as a poor person in need of stable housing and quality disability care, and I wish my parents weren't world-class hLepers who have a long and triggering history of engaging me in rigorous debate about the kind of help I should be allowed to receive from them as a disabled person.

Nothing like having to provide an argument that would hold up in court every time I'm sick and need help! Love that! Love that I can't even talk about money with them now without having invasive thoughts about it for days to come due to past incidences in which this repeated behavior of theirs literally endangered my life!!

Not like I need that mental capacity for working on the largest and most exciting opportunity of my life that also happens to line up with my hopes and dreams for the future!! It's fine!! What do I even need mental capacity for anyway?????

This wouldn't even be the first time this little Distrust Fund has caused problems for my relationship with my parents. They are very opposed to that money being used to help my disability and it has caused PROBLEMS for us that we have never quite recovered from.

It's just difficult to be reminded that although our relationship has gotten better (mostly thanks to me setting boundaries), that doesn't mean they now actually believe what I need for my disability when I tell them.

They really do love me, and they have only ever acted with the best of intentions . But good intentions cease to matter when the impact is harmful and repeated. And they have proven to be repeatedly incapable of providing non-ableist support for me again and again and again. They've even genuinely tried to learn; and sometimes it really seems like my mom has made progress with her therapist (who is disabled), but who knows when I can so jarringly be reminded of how quickly that toxic ableist thinking can show its ugly face.

It's so clear to me and they don't even know it's there.

It feels like I'm in a horror movie when I try to get them to understand their own ableism, and that is a good good sign that I may want to consider an approach that minimizes my mental damage instead. Even if it means I don't get their stupid, deeply-conditional-and-yet-the-conditions-are-SO-vague-and-they-won't-admit-it money.

[ladyjmontilyet]

thank fuck i'm getting paid tomorrow my current balance is -€37.56 after my health insurance. so my balance tomorrow should hopefully be €182.44 🙏 unless some other bill i forgot about gets charged.

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm finally almost done organising/putting away all the stupid shit I've bought recently - it's mostly all kinds of sewing supplies. I've got about a million buttons and zippers now. and lots of random fabric. a whole box full of sewing patterns. pretty much... everything you could ever need for sewing.

I've also not touched my (brand new) sewing machine since I tried it out in the couple of days after I got it. not once. because all the stuff that I bought made me feel so fucking anxious and guilty. and, well, I couldn't have used it anyway because there were boxes everywhere.

I've tried fixing the problem - I finally deleted the ebay app from my phone, for example. whenever I felt bad I'd just spend hours browsing ebay and bidding on stuff. I mean, the auction is gonna end in a week, that's not even real! I'm not buying things, I'm just saying hm well I'd pay this much for this, and then I might even win! winning is nice, it feels good! and I get a product, or even a box of products?! that also feels good!

except I bid on so. much. stuff. that the anxiety felt like it was killing me.

anyway. that part is fixed now. I did bid on a few barbies after that whole disaster, but that finally made me go, wait why am I doing this again after how shit it just made me feel?! so then I deleted the app.

but. I don't know. the real problems are still there and I don't know what to do about it.

[plasmahallucigenia]

all of these are from a sketchbook I’ve had since march labeled 5.2 these aren’t even ALL the pages I don’t use this sketchbook a whole lot since it’s not really one of my main, it was just tempting to get initially because I had extra money on hand and wanted a landscape sketchbook for a bit

full disclosure; I have a LOT of sketchbooks like a lot since like 2017 it’s BAD I didn’t officially start tracking them till 2021 the main ones I have rn are 7 and I’m on 7 but I also have a lot of smaller extra cheap ones that I call “shitbooks” my tracking system is very messy, it doesn’t help that I’m working on filling not only 5.2 but shitbook 8,9 and also sketchbook 7 and I have a recent addition so it’ll fucki it all up lol

[torchickentacos]

UGHHHHHH take a shot every time a makeup youtuber uploads a video on their diet or on how sugar ruined their life. paragraph of complaining and criticism of diet culture under cut, ed tw but in a very anti-ed way.

like please just tell me about mascara and stuff, I do not want to be sold a program on how to have an eating disorder. I have SO many rants about this but I'll leave it at this for now: unless done in a very specific and mentally healthy way, restricting categories of food is almost always going to be your first step down a slippery slope, allergies excluded. Restricting one category leads to labeling it as bad, so you assign moral worth to food, so you start trying to 'deserve' your food, et cetera, down you go on that slope.

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i made preliminary plans to put my horse down in january today:( idk why im making this post i just want everyone to know about hippu and that she exists.

im so tortured whether its the right decision or not and whatever i mightve done wrong or not good enoug or if i should try something else and if the only person (the stable owner) i can discuss it with is right or not and its just way too much to explain lol

i feel bad about january too, because hippu was born during the summer, so to make plans to say goodbye to her during the coldest time of the year in the middle of the winter makes me feel sad. i wouldve at least wanted for her to go during the summer. but i suppose that only matters to me

heres some pictures i took of her today when i was keeping her company while she worried whether her buddy will also come in to the stable or not.

she looks so scruffy because shes changing into her winter coat. i called over to her and she looked directly at me and looked goofy.

shes my first horse and she will be my last horse too. someone laughed today when i said that (”thats what they all say, you always get a new horse”) but i know its true: its just too much money and time i dont have because im always so sick for no reason, its not even that i dont like horses or cant see myself loving a different horse as much, just the bleak reality im afraid.

once i wanted to be a pro equestrian, now were here, feels funny to think about.