#monster energy drink ah guitar

[sea-of-machines]

Koffl

[shadow-coolness]

The Bull Is Dead

Bull: Ya-da-da-da-da-da- It is good day to be not dead!

Rico: POW! You are dead!

Bull reading his script: I am dead!

Rico: *Chuckling but then sees Colt approaching* Aw shit * tosses away his weapon*

Colt: Oh! The Bull is dead!

Bull: Yes (Diner). I am dead!

Colt: Why is the Bull dead?!

Rico: I dunno.

Bull: I think it was-

Colt & Rico: Shhh, you are dead!

Bull: Ok.

*Bull repeatedly clips into the ground*

(Brock enters scene exiting van)

Brock: What's up, you brawl stars?! Who’s up for a- AH! What the- bloody hell just happened?!

Colt & Rico: The Bull is dead!

Brock: The Bull is dead!?

Colt: Correct!

Brock: :D

Colt: So, did you see the murderer?

Brock and Rico: Nah, sorry mate.

Colt: *Slams hand on desk* I will find them, I will capture them, and no one will ever die again!

(Brock and Rico applause)

Brock: Ah, well that's nice.

Rico: I am damn proud right now.

*they clap faster before Ruff appears*

Ruff: Atteeeeeeeeention!

(Ruff rushes to dead Bull)

Ruff: The Bull is dead!

Colt: We know!

Ruff: Who killed him?!

Colt: We don’t know!

Ruff: I will find clues!

(Ruff sniffs the ground and finds something)

Ruff: What's that? *Grabs gun* A weapon?! That thing is why the Bull is dead!

Colt,Brock and Rico: The Bull is dead?!

Ruff: Yes *slams paws on desk* he died!

Colt,Brock and Rico: *Shock*

Poco: (From far away) INCOMING!

(Ambulance crashes into Ruff.)

Poco: *Exits out of Ambulance* Afuera, Afuera! *Pushes the other 3 brawlers out the way* Move now! *Plays his guitar*

(Heavenly music sounds while the light focuses on Bull)

Bull: (Rising in air) Hohoho, Bul- *Explodes* Oof.

Poco: In my medical opinion, the Bull is dead!

Colt: Poc, what happened?

Poco: My professional opinion? *Slams hands on desk then points dramatically*The Bull was killed!

Rico: oh Stars!

Colt,Brock and Rico: Panicking

Poco: I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. *Hops off*

Colt: Well, now what?

Fang: Clipidy clop mother****er! Boom!

Colt: Oh, come on.

Fang: Look at this! The freaking Bull is dead! Pause What do you think of that? Ahm…

Colt: Yes, yes, Fang.

Fang: Yea?

Colt: Go home!

*Maisie waves from a car*

Fang: Ah come on! Pffff! Freaking unbelievable seriously, you all suck.

(Car drives off then immediately crashes)

Colt: Ok, let’s get back to the point.

*Colt picks up a sign in the shape of an arrow with “The Point” written on it*

Bull: *Poking at his dead body* I think Bull is dead.

Others: The Bull is dead?!

Poco:*gasp* Fang! I will heal you- *explosion*

Bull: Oh, Seriously?! Who killed Bull?!

Max: *drinking her energy drink* It was me!

Others: Shocked

Max: Yes! *downs an energy drink in one go* I did it like this! *Shoots Brock*

Max: PewPew!

*Max drinks another energy drink while the others stand around Brocks dead body*

Max: *Burps* That’s a joke, dudes.

*Colt,Bull and Rico start laughing like crazy*

Max: *drinks another drink then Burps* It was… yo-... *Burps then Points at Rico* Him!

Rico: Shocked How did you know?!

Max: I didn’t. *Burps* That was a joke too.

*Max proceeds to drink faster until…*

Max: Falls on ground Oh, I’m dead.

Rico: *Manic laughter* That’s right! It was me!

Colt: You monster!

Bull: But whyyyyy?

Rico: Cause you’re fat, human. And another thing, you’re ugly.

Bull: Rico, stop!

Rico and Bull: Arguing

Colt: Shrugs (IT’S TOTALLY NORMAL)

Bull: RICO!!

Rico: Ah dammit Bull **** off! You are dead.

Bull: NO u, POW! Haha.

(Rico falls dead on floor)

Bull: You are dead! Not big surprise.

Colt: Well that was idiotic. Off to poison myself! Watch and lea-*jumps into a poison cloud and dies*

Bull: I am alive! Is nice…. Yes, this is stupid.

[mhdiaries]

Boo York, Boo York – Gala Ghoulfriends Luna Mothews Diary

My Boo York Adventure-logue

9/30 08:23:52

There were butterflies tickling my belly when I watched the bus pull into the terminal, but now that I’m on my way, I’m flittery with excitement! I think Pops was more nervous than I was. But that’s my Pops for ya: thinking I’m his little caterpillar while totes understanding that I have to spread my wings! Mom kept him from chewing on his collar by reminding him that it’s not like it’s on the other side of the moon - it’s an easy flight for them from my hometown in Boo Jersey. If I didn’t have my luggage weighed down with all my dance shoes and theatre makeup, I’d have flapped over myself. But I’m strangely looking forward to seeing the frights through this grimy bus window the way a wingless monster would; speeding down the Tombpike, going through the Lurkin’ Tunnel, and then hopping a subway train to Times Scare... that’s a real adventure! 

Boo York, Boo York! I can hardly believe it! I’m on my way! The lights of Bloodway are luring me. I’m gonna be a star!

9/30 10:37:13

Road travel takes some getting used to - for one thing, it takes for-EVER! Not literally, but I’m still on this bus and I could have flown to the city and back many times by now. And for a second thing, the monsters on this bus are way booring! I think they think they should just sit in their seats and keep to themselves and be polite and stuff. Some of them actually scowled at me when I started convos with them, so I pulled out my guitar and started playing. That really horrified them. It was like they didn’t even want to sing along when I started giving them their assignments! The ogre in the front punctuated his lyrics with growls, but he wasn’t half bad; however, the werecat across the aisle from him was surprisingly high-pitched and breathy. I had to pull her out of her fur, but I got her harmonizing pretty well after a few verses. And once I got half-a-dozen singing, a few others joined in. Plus, a few other monsters pulled out their own instruments. Before long, I had a whole chorus going and everyone started enjoying themselves. Well, everyone except that one ghost, but he was just mad because everyone was treating him like he was invisible. 

9/30 11:56:33

I made it to the city and I’m not in the subway waiting for the train. Almost there! Just a few more trains and buses to go. I’m thriller-ed by how many of my bus-mates followed me to my train platform just so we could keep jammin’, but some of them freaked when they realized they were missing their own trains and ran off/flew off/slithered off/evaporated. But that’s ok, because there are already a lot of performers down here singing and dancing and making balloon monsters. It’s spooktacular, and I haven’t even made it up to street level yet!

9/30 15:12:12

Oh, my Pod! 42nd Screech is everything I ever dreamed of! The marquees of all the shows make my antennae tingle with excitement. When I’m a singer on Bloodway, I will go from moth-ghoul to moth-greatness! I’m already having so much fun. As soon as I got off the last bus, I met some fangtastic monsters from Monster High: Draculaura, Frankie, Cleo, Deuce, Clawdeen and Operetta. Oh, and also, Nefera and Toralei. I’m very good at remembering names - I’m sure that’s a sign I’ll be good at remembering my lines too - and I love making new friends wherever I go. I think it’s called networking. Now, to find a job or three. 

9/30 17:26:47

Nailed my first audition! So what if it was for a pizza place? Pizza is very popular in Boo York, and a ghoul’s gotta start somewhere. I’ve got a costume and everything - just call me Luna Motheroni. Hah! No, don’t. It pays me in *dough*! Get it? That cracked Pops up when I called him on my iCoffin to tell him his little gypsy moth is settling in nicely. I think I’ll try out some of these lines as I pass out the flyers for the Comet-special combo. Maybe if I get some laughs, I’ll try my wing at stand up too. It’s not Bloodway, but it’d still be on a stage, right? 

9/30 20:14:33

Lovin’ all this “cometness.” Monsters are shooting by me like zany stars in a sparkling universe! All the food joints have crazy, comet-fied specials going on. Being a moth, I’m a huge cotton candy fan. Make it wormhole-themed, and it’s like a flame that I can’t resist. I’m also diggin’ the street music. There’s a clawesine DJ across the way. I can only catch glimpses through the crowd, but I think she’s a robot with some kind of holographic keyboard or whatever. However, I can hear her load and clear, and she’s certainly making passing out flyers more of a toe-tapper than an energy-zapper. Although, no one’s ever accused me of lacking ene......

(oh, zap! got totes distracted by a laser light beaming off the DJ ghoul)

lacking energy. Now that it’s getting dark, all of the lights are getting kinda intense. They’re so bootiful, I’m attracted to all of them. I’m fearly going to have to concentrate and maintain focus. It’s good pract..... practice for when I’m in the spotlight on Bloodway.  

10/1 14:42:59

Day of the Comet, Beasties! Got a gig selling boovineers. I project my lines to the frightseers passing by and try to gain an audience, then my co-seller does the rest and rings up their order. I’ve tried singing my lines, making up rhymes, doing a little improv with the customers. I think I have a knack for this. And later I’m going to be working the fancy Comet Gala at the Museum of Unnatural History! I’ll be passing out gore d’oeuvres to some of the city’s most powerful monsters. Maybe I’ll even make some connections to theatre producers, but, if not, i’m sure I’ll have a good time. Just seeing all the different characters who have been invited will be fangtastic. Pops called to check in and when I told him everything I’ve done already and that I’ll be catering tonight, he laughed and said he thinks there must have been a mix-up at the hospital because, instead of a moth-ghoul, he seems to have raised a busy-bee. He’s kind of a moth-ball, but I love him.

10/1 19:02:40

This gala is “ah-maze-ing”! That Mouscedes’ fave word. She’s a rat-ghoul I met here. She’s some kind of princess and she’s way Upper Beast Side, but she’s so nice. I never knew there was so much to learn about cheese! I had a variety of die-lish cheese puffs on my loaded down tray - gore-gonzola, aged ghoulda, fetid - I tried them all before my shift started and they were yum! But when I offered them to Mouscedes, she asked me if they were cheeseless cheese puffs, and I told her they weren’t even puffless cheese puffs, so then we started chatting and I learned she doesn’t do cheese. I told her to stay away from my Pops then, because his sense of humor was pretty cheesy! That’s when she told me her Pops was the Rat King of Boo York! I’m not sure what that means but it sounds impressive! I had to get back to work, but Mouscedes said maybe we could get a coffincino some time. I told her I already bounce off the walls without drinking those, but I’d love to just fang out and she agreed.  

10/2 00:13:17

I guess you could say things took an otherworldly turn tonight! The lights of Bloodway drew me to exactly where I needed to be, just in time to help my new friends... AND I got to be on stage with Catty Noir, one of my fave singers! It doesn’t get more fangtastic than that! I think it’s ok to say my future of stardom shows promise! Speaking of promise, we all made it back to the Museum of Unnatural History in time for the comet to arrive in Boo York, and that brought some surprises of its own. Well, one surprise anyway. And she was stellar! I’m not saying I won’t ever get homesick, but I think coming to Boo York was a bright move. I’ve only been here for 2 days and I’ve already had a few fun jobs, performed on stage, and, beast of all, made new friends. Look out world, I’m ready to fly! 

[headoverhiddles]

Spookshow Baby - Rob Zombie x Reader [Smut]

Synopsis: By good luck or connections, you find yourself backstage at a Zombie show, and Rob can’t take his eyes off you. 

Requested by @plagued-rat​!  “Rob and a younger fan meeting at a show and sleeping together or something along those lines.”  Hope you like it, hun :)

Notes: The personalities depicted are fictional-- I don’t know them, even though I wish I did. 

Is it really that hard to get a beer in this place?

You try to navigate your way through the crowd of people getting their seconds and thirds at the bar when you haven't even had one. You finally get up to the bar, and order your drink. You get a bit of a look from the bartender-- you can't tell if he's judging you, or in awe of you, and honestly? You're okay with either. You'd worn a pretty striking outfit tonight, your favorite that you'd had in the closet lying around for something like this.

It had been an event you'd been looking forward to for months. Your friend Ash has a band, a sort of side project from her main group, called The Haxans. She'd promised you'd be the first to get tickets when they had their first show, and five years later, here you are. Maybe if you had told the bartender you knew the singer, you could've at least gotten your beer faster.

Not only are you excited to support your friend, but her fellow band mate and guitarist, Matt Montgomery, is the current bassist of your favourite rock band. Rob Zombie had been a huge part of your life, since Hellbilly all the way up til now with Celebration Dispenser and the new album coming out sometime this year. You'd never been able to make it to a concert of his yet, as he hadn't played anywhere near you, but you had made no secret of your strong feelings for the front man.

 ---

You hang back near the tech at the Viper Room, and look around as the band starts their set. This place was said to be a hotspot for ghosts.

"Sweet venue, huh?" a voice behind you asks. You turn, and see a guy in a big straw hat. You feel like the voice is familiar, but you can't really tell with the loud noise.

"Yeah. It's haunted, you know."

The guy laughs. "No kidding." He glances up at the band performing. "That's... kinda fitting."

"Right?" you smile. "Somebody's apparently buried in the basement."

"Jesus. Guess that's why Johnny Depp sold it."

“Or maybe he did it," you laugh, sipping your drink.

"That’s sure a theory. So, what brings you here?" the guy goes on. You're used to the line that guys use on you to flirt, but this guy's still keeping his distance. It's interesting.

"I like their music," you say, "And I'm supporting my friend, Ash."

"Ah, cool. I'm here supporting the other guy, Piggy D. I dig their sound, he's got a great fucking gig here."

"Yeah, totally. Along with working for Rob? Super rad."

"Hm. Yeah." The guy gives a little smile, which you don't see. "See you around, maybe." 

"Yeah!" you smile, and when you turn back, the guy's gone. You wish you could place that voice.

 ---

After the show, you head up to the stage to congratulate your friend. "You were awesome!" you say, giving Ash a hug. She kisses your cheek.

"Yeah?"

"For sure.You guys were both amazing." Piggy D comes over, lifting his guitar strap over his head.

"Hey. Who's this?"

"This is my friend who I said would be coming, (y/n)?"

"Oh yeah." Matt gives a lopsided grin, shaking your hand. "Great to finally meet you. How'd we do?"

"You were great," you assure him. Ash nudges him.

"She's a big fan of Zombie."

Matt's black shadowed eyes light up. "Yeah? Here, I'll send you a pass to come say hi to us backstage. We're playing the area in a couple weeks!"

"Oh god," you blush, "That'd be awesome. Thank you so much."

"No problem." He gives you another smile, then sets his guitar down. "Gotta dash." His eyes ascend over you and Ash. "John, Rita! Thanks for coming!"

Ash pulls you to the side. "Oh my god. You're gonna get to meet him."

"I know." You fan yourself.

"He's really chill, don't worry. He'll love you."

"You think so?"

"Look at you! You're hot as fuck girl, I'd sleep with you if I wasn't taken. He'll go crazy for you."

“Ah. I’m too young for him...” 

“You could use a daddy. He’s daddy material. Spookshow daddy for a spookshow baby.” 

You smile, and ignore the unlikelihood of that happening. Still-- you've never been so excited.

 ---

The next Friday night, you find yourself enjoying tickets to the Zombie mosh pit in your home town, backstage pass tucked safely in your back pocket. You're currently waiting for Rob to come out on stage, and are watching the opening band, Palaye Royale.

After the last song of the opener's set, the stage lights begin going crazy, and you hear Rob begin to shout out the beginning of Dead City Radio.

The show is amazing, as you knew it would be. You've never actually heard him talk before, only sing, and when he speaks to the crowd between songs, you can't help but notice how attractive his voice is too. During Get High, Matt notices you, points to you with his pick, and winks.

As everyone cheers after the encore of Dragula and gives the band a good send-off, you slip backstage, coming up to the guards. You show your pass shakily, and they let you through.

"Hey!" Matt calls, and you turn down a long hallway to see the boys coming offstage.

"Best show I've ever seen, hands down," you say, "Other than the Haxans, of course."

Matt laughs, and fist bumps you. Ginger and John walk past you, shooting you friendly smiles. For a metal band, these are a bunch of really good guys. Then Rob comes out, dragging a towel over his face and dreads.

"Fucking high energy crowd!" he exclaims, punching the air as he comes over to you and Matt. "Great night."

"Crowd was on fire. Hey man, this is (y/n)." Matt introduces you.

Rob looks at you for a second, and tilts his head. "Oh yeah. You're the girl I met at the Haxans show, huh?"

You go to say yes, then start to realize how he knows. "You're the guy I talked to!"

"That would be me." He nods, then remembers how much he enjoyed talking to you. It’d be dangerous to see where this went, so after that stunted exchange, he goes to leave. You think of something to turn him around.

"Is that a Creepshow patch?" you ask, finally close enough to his patch jacket to decipher each one. He stops, and looks back.

"Hell yeah. You like Creepshow?"

"Love it!"

"Best one?"

"The Crate."

"Oh, fucking right!" He nods, "I like that crazy hitchhiker one too from the second one..."

"Thanks for the ride lady!" you quote, and he gives a loud belly laugh.

"Damn. You're pretty cool." He rubs his makeup with the towel. "I'm, uh... chilling a bit later tonight at a little after party. Sorry to be a big fuckin' drag, but I'm not one for lots of drinking or anything like Danzig or Manson are. I'll probably bore you to death."

"Then we can be a couple dead people together," you smile, and he smirks down at you.

"Sounds like a plan." He bites his lip, and gives you a once over again. "Follow me."

 ---

When you get to the party, it's pretty much like he said. He immediately wanders off around the outskirts of the crowd, stopping only to shake a few hands and greet a few people. It's a cool venue-- better than any you'd been to. It's dark, black-lit and monster-themed, with all kinds of pop art and horror memorabilia around the place. It's fitting for the band, and the people who hang out with them.

"Hey, man. Who's the lady?" John whispers in his ear. "Saw her backstage."

"Someone I met the other day. Piggy brought her back."

"She's pretty, huh?"

Rob shrugs, trying as usual to appear noncommittal when in fact he was feeling very committal. "I like her. Figured she may be some fun. Could definitely save me from this party." John shakes his head with a smile, going back over to Rita.

You try and crane your neck to see where Rob went, and are startled by a voice behind you. "Hey, you're the girl from the show, right?" You turn to see that it's Rob's drummer, Ginger.

"Yeah," you smile, "Ginger, right?" He shakes your hand heartily, nearly bruising your fingers with a drummer's grip.

"You can call me Kenny! Hey uh, long shot, do you happen to have a shower curtain anywhere accessible?" You frown, and are about to say no, but Ginger's already sensed your answer by your look of alarm. "No worries, I know who to call for one." He gets out his phone, and starts texting his old boss.

There's Rob. He's hiding in the corner like Dracula, away from the bright lights and people. You walk towards him through the crowd, toward where he's taken a seat on a red couch shaped like psychedelic lips. Rob watches you walk over to him, furrowing his brow. You look fucking good. His breath gets heavier as blood rushes down south. He hasn't wanted a girl this bad in years... much less a fan. Play it cool. She’s young enough to be your daughter, or some shit. 

"Dumb party, huh?" he mutters, burying his feelings down deep. You smirk, sitting down beside him and crossing your legs.

"Seems like you really don't wanna be here."

"Well, it's all about the show, you know? What happens afterward is all bullshit, catering to TMZ who peddles articles about stupid shit like drugs and trashing hotel rooms to 15 year olds who read their articles and think that's what being a rock star is all about." You blink. He's not wrong.  "But it's uh... it's a lot better with you here." Come on, Zombie. At least try not to be a black hole of negativity for once?

"Don't worry. I'm not really one for parties either. I mean, they're fun sometimes. But sometimes you just wanna be by yourself, you know?"

"Exactly!"

"Or... with someone you'd have a lot more fun with." He glances up. "Wanna get out of here?" you ask, eyes conveying your intentions. 

"Let's do it." As you walk toward the exit though, Rob pulls you down a hallway, then out the back door to the alley behind the club.

"You pulling a Lugosi on me, Zombie?" you joke. He smirks.

"You want me to?"

"Are you a vampire?"

He runs a hand through his dreads. "I'm more of a werewolf."

"It's a full moon," you tease, pulling him closer to you. He walks you back against the graffiti'd brick wall, and you part your legs to make room for him.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he murmurs, eyes already falling down to your lips behind his sunglasses. By way of reply, you take his sunglasses off, reach around to stuff them in his back pocket, and bring your lips to his. 

Fuck it. His eyes close, and he reaches up to support you properly, urging your to wrap your legs around him as he holds you up. You moan as his ratty jeans provide the perfect grind for you, grazing your inner thighs and grazing where you need him most. His fingers dig into your ass as you reach forward and unzip those jeans, taking out the chunky belt with Svengoolie's face on the buckle. 

His head tilts back as you take him in your hand, and fuck, he has to be inside you. You sink your face into his shoulder as he pushes in, and his face twists up. The way he's glaring at you in pure concentration is driving you wild, and the intense eye contact is turning him on too. He bares his teeth, gnashing as he fucks in again rough, making you gasp.

"Ro-ob..." you manage out.

"Whatdya need?"

"That's... ohmygod,that's so good, fuck, that's so good, faster--"

He gets even more rough, almost animalistic as he drops the cool guy act and just goes ape on your body. One of his hands shoves up your top, unhooking your bra with the precision of a master, and dips down to roll the tips of your nipples with his tongue. You cry out, neither of you caring who can hear you. It's as if he's become the demon he performs as, and it's fucking hot.

"Feelin' good, babe?" he growls.

"So good," you sigh, working down on him. He holds you up with one flexing arm as he keeps your wrists pinned with the other, dipping his head down a little again to leave hickies along the juncture of your neck. "I'm close--"

"Come on, baby, come on," he snarls, "Yeah..." You gasp out his name as his heavy thrusts rock you against the wall, tipping you off the edge and ripping you apart.

He watches you cum with the intense gaze of a hellish predator, and pounds you even harder until you're done. When he's sure you're satisfied, he lets you down, and cums against the wall, bracing himself against it with one hand.

You run a hand through your hair, and lean back. "Christ. There are so many puns I could make right now."

"I like puns," he pants, slipping his sunglasses back on, and with them, into his awkward, chilled out self.

"You fuck like a Superbeast." There's silence as you hold in your giggles, and he stares at you, completely deadpan.

"I fuckin’ regret all of this." You let the giggles burst free, and he takes you under his arm, leading you toward the street. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My torture chamber, for special fans like you."

"I'm not surprised."

"Then maybe, after the torture, we can throw on a movie. Maybe..."

"You got Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine?"

"...Okay, maybe I don't regret this."

He calls his driver, and excitement fills you at the prospect of seeing what his house looks like. Probably as eclectic as the man himself. As the two of you get in, you open your phone to see a text from Ash.

So?????? watchu up to sex kitty

You grin to yourself as you type out a response that's sure to make your friend screech.

Is it necrophilia if I fucked a Zombie...? ;) 

[unabashedrebel]

It’s ah-me

A questionnaire about the mun or something

NICKNAME. Some people call me the Space Cowboy. Some call me the Gangster of Love. My friends call me Shmitty though.

REAL NAME. Sean

ZODIAC. Leo<Virgo.

HEIGHT. 5′7″

WHAT TIME IS IT? 6:29PM

FAVORITE MUSICIANS / GROUPS. Hnnnnng. There isn’t a lot I don’t like but here we go. Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, The Beatles, Queen, AC/DC, Van Halen, The Doors, The Rolling Stones, Black Sabbath, Bob Marley, Jimmy Hendrix, Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, every artist who’s ever been in a Guardian of the Galaxy soundtrack, Linkin Park, The Beastie Boys, Nas, Biggie, Bone Thugs (n-harmony), Wu Tang (The old stuff), Kendrick Lamar, The Chainsmokers, The Dirty Heads , Cage the Elephant, Marvin Gaye, that’s all I got but there’s a ton more. As you can see genre aint no thang...

FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM.  I like two things in my sports teams. Orange, and losing. I’m a Knicks fan, Bronco’s fan, and Islanders fan. I do like the Yankees but I could care less about baseball.

OTHER BLOGS. @fel-temptation, @accidental-exile, @simplysoriya, @mrwizard-wra

DO I GET ASKS? I do! I honestly don’t even have the energy or the words for them half the time. But I love getting them. I’m kind of like a dragon in the sense that my mailbox is just a hoard of unanswered ask prompt things.

HOW MANY BLOGS DO I FOLLOW?  Uh....4,091

TUMBLR CRUSHES FRIENDS. Listing all those bands really took it out of me. Tbh just look in the notes usually, that’s where my favorite people tend to end up. @dae-shadowvale & @lukelxiv deserve special mentions though (consider this your tag to do this ;P)

LUCKY NUMBER. 24

WHAT AM I WEARING RIGHT NOW?  Booty shorts and a black mesh tank top. What of it.

DREAM VACATION. I’m really hoping to be alive when they start selling tickets to the moon for us commoners.

DREAM CAR. I’m not really a car guy so I’m going nerdy. The Delorean 

FAVORITE FOOD. Give me Fried Oreos or give me death.

DRINK OF CHOICE. Coffee, Craft Beer, an some Apple Juice

LANGUAGES. English. I know enough Spanish to get myself killed in Mexico.

INSTRUMENTS.  Ha-haha-ha, uh, I can play enough guitar to seem impressive exactly one time per person.

CELEBRITY CRUSHES. George Clooney and Chris Hemsworth

RANDOM FACT. I’m technically banned from conveyor belt sushi places.

TAGGED BY. @monster-of-master, @lady-duskveil, @salt-water-siren (& @caedun), @demetrius-sunsorrow, @olivia-lovecraft, @the-real-arcanist-val

TAGGING. @waroftwowolves @ishgard @fel-over @ravenquote @zariasilverleaf @serelia-evensong @cashew-qq @stonestridernerd @kit-sunsoul @dardillien-ward @cynfuldax @sneakybinch

[cats-obsessions]

Mark Your Love in Ink Part 2

A Geraskier soulmates au

Part one - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Rating: T

Chapters: 2 of 5? 

Notes: I decided to split this up into 5 parts, but on ao3, I posted parts 2-4 in one chapter. So, if you want to read ahead, read on ao3

It turns out, Geralt can run from ‘fate’ but not Jaskier. Somehow, Jaskier worms his way into his life. Forcefully. And deeply. What he expects to be shared milkshakes and parted ways turns into Jaskier following him to the warehouse, determined to set his eyes on some monsters- lucky for them, the ‘monsters’ weren’t werewolves or noonwraiths like he had expected. Nope, they were elves. Angry elves that captured Geralt and Jaskier, bashed the starving artist’s guitar and kicked them both in the gut. Geralt was able to reason with them, and Jaskier was given a lute for his troubles, but he didn’t get any money for his troubles.

As the sun began to rise over the city, bright lights reflecting off of the buildings, they parted ways. The younger man smiled at Geralt with sunshine in his eyes and said “I’d offer you my number, but I suppose you already have it,” which was true- even if it weren’t on his body, Geralt’s had it memorized for years. He was surprised, though, when the musician added “This was fun. Let’s do it again sometime,” with a genuine warmth that told Geralt he wasn’t lying. He was sure that misadventure would have driven the boy away, but he didn’t seem deterred. If anything, he seemed more interested.

Geralt practically passed out once he got home, eager to sleep rather than focus on the situation. He was more alarmed to find the familiar number texting him once he awoke. How did he even get his number?

It didn’t seem to matter much. The next thing Geralt knows, he’s getting roped into going for coffee or drinks, then just hanging out doing things he’d never bothered spending time on before, like playing video games. Then, Jaskier starts showing up at his apartment whenever he wants. Geralt tried to argue, but Roach, his cat, loves Jaskier almost as much as she loves Geralt, which is odd considering she scratches up most strangers.

Every step of the way, he tries and tries to push back against this odd little human that seems set on getting close to him, and every battle he picks, he finds himself losing. When Jaskier starts following him to jobs, he knows he’s gone too far to turn back.

That he was not fond of, but Jaskier is the most persistent thing he’s ever met- like a weed. At first it was just local jobs, things he knew Jaskier could watch without getting in the way, but then he started following him on longer jobs. And, well it’s kind of nice to have someone to camp with, especially when he can convince the musician to stay at the camp while he hunts. He even proves to be useful once or twice. Six months later, Geralt finds himself with an intrusive friend with blurred lines and a lack of respect for personal space.

But it’s not bad, surprisingly.

Geralt finds himself smiling more. Jaskier is tactile and unafraid to show emotion in a way that’s almost frightening after so many years of being a loner. And Geralt, he puts up with it- at least that’s what he says. In reality, he does his best to keep his emotions from spilling out of ‘friends’ and toward something more.

Because he doesn’t believe in fate or destiny.

A soulmate bond is a social concept made up to explain magical connections that only go skin deep.

That’s all it is.

So, he doesn’t fall for Jaskier as if he could prove how fake Destiny is by refusing to feel.

--

Geralt hums some song that’s been stuck in his head for days- certainly not because the dumb musician had been playing it last time they saw each other. He’s cooking dinner one late evening when he hears his apartment door handle jiggle followed by several knocks. Does he really expect it to be unlocked for him all the time?

As soon as he unlocks the door, it’s being opened by the musician on the other side. He’s a little flushed and his hair is messy as he complains “If you gave me a key, this would be easier.”

“If I gave you a key, you’d never leave me alone.” Geralt rolls his eyes. “Did you bike here in the middle of the night?” he asks, noticing the helmet in one of his hands, a duffle bag in the other, and his lute thrown over his shoulder “and what’s all this?”

“My stuff- for our trip.” Jaskier answers as if it were obvious. He throws his bag down, slips off his shoes, and begins to make himself at home. Geralt watches as Jaskier moves to the living room, stopping to pet Roach on his way. The brown tabby shoves her head into Jaskier’s palm, meowing happily to greet him. Geralt does his best not to smile at the sight.

Their trip. Geralt had tried to convince him to sit this one out to no avail. It will be a week-long trip at the least- granted he can even find the beast. He got reports of a possible griffon terrorizing an isolated town a few days north of them. They’ll have to drive part way, then hike through the forests and camp there for however long it will take to find and defeat it. But Jaskier hasn’t seen a griffon yet, and he’s enamored with them- that’s probably Geralt’s fault, though.

“We don’t leave for two more days, Jaskier.” Geralt reminds him.

“It’s better to be prepared early, isn’t it?”

Geralt lets it go, turning back to his cooking. Jaskier can entertain himself if he’s so set on showing up unannounced. Though, Geralt throws an extra pork cutlet on the pan; the gods know the boy doesn’t eat enough real food.

He can hear the musician talking to Roach in the background. He’s almost surprised Jaskier hasn’t pestered him about his day yet. But, he doesn’t refrain from taking advantage of the momentary silence. With the meat on the pan, crackling and popping while it cooks, there’s nothing to do but wait. So, he pulls out his phone and scrolls mindlessly through the local news. He doesn’t care much for politics, but occasionally things will pop up that point to creatures, monsters, and jobs.

‘Local YouTuber Dies in Attempt to Catch Kikimora’

A dark figure can be seen in the background of what he assumes is a screen shot from the recording. “It’s an Ekimmara, you morons.” Geralt scoffs under his breath. Typical. Mankind has been chasing after monsters since the dawn of time. The widespread use of cameras only made things worse. He scrolls down further, and another headline pops out to him.

‘Local Dive Bar Found to be Drug Front: Shoot Out Between Owners Leaves Renters Evicted’

Also not terribly surprising; humans are always doing these kinds of things. Over his near century of a life, he’s seen more deaths from greed than monsters could ever cause. But, wait… he looks closer, picking up the details of the image provided. Isn’t that-

“Jaskier, what the fuck?” he barks, turning to face the man now sprawled out on his couch.

“What did I do?” he asks innocently, though the cringe he’s trying to hide tells the witcher he knows exactly what he did.

“You didn’t think to start with ‘Penellie’s had a shoot-out.’!?”

“Ah,” Jaskier starts uncomfortably. “Right- well, you know, it didn’t seem like the most important thing.” he looks down to fidget with his nails- a telltale nervous habit.

Geralt bites back his urge to press for more information “Are you okay?” He asks, finding himself out of his comfort zone.

“Of course! I’ve seen a lot worse.” Jaskier shrugs.

“Wait, were you there when it happened?”

“No, no, dear witcher. I was in my apartment. Apparently,” He starts with renewed energy, “the whole building has drugs in the walls! Those possums that were always making racket- Probably thugs shoving drug packets into our shared walls. I guess Penellie and James had a disagreement about how to split the funds. It wasn’t so much as a shoot out as shooting each other in the close confines of their office.” Jaskier makes a gun shape with his hand as he says it, pretending to shoot at Geralt. “Guess renting from your boss isn’t that good of an idea, huh?”

“Who woulda thunk.” Geralt murmurs flatly, remember the exact words ‘don’t rent from your boss’ coming out of his mouth when Jaskier moved to that dump six months ago. Of course, Jaskier was working as a bartender, and Geralt expected him to get fired and evicted in one go rather than an unknowing renter of drug lords. “They didn’t make you ID the bodies or anything, did they?” he pushes. He’s not sure why it matters to him.

“Oh, come on now. It’s very nice of you to think you have to protect my innocence, but like I said- I’ve seen worse. Specifically, I’ve seen you do much worse. You know, most people have never seen the intestines of anything much less helped dig a liver out of a cave troll or pull teeth from a foglet while brain matter is splattered around them. You’re quite lucky I’m so well adjusted.” Jaskier rambles, accentuating his words with wild gestures of his hands. Geralt ignores it, though.

“You’ve never seen me kill a human.”

“Well, you haven’t recently, right?” he says nonchalantly like he wouldn’t be bothered if the answer were yes.

Geralt shakes his head “Not supposed to, though I’m tempted often,” he grumbles, shooting Jaskier a glare. The musician sees the fondness behind it though and chuckles a little. Somehow, he seems to know Geralt’s only so exasperated because he cares- against his best efforts not to, of course.

Geralt finishes up in the kitchen and pops the caps off two beers, handing one to Jaskier along with a plate of food.

“Oh, thanks! You don’t have to, though,” Jaskier smiles, a little blush tinging his cheeks. Geralt pretends he doesn’t notice.

“Had extra,” he murmurs, shoving Jaskier’s feet off the couch so he can sit and eat as well. After a few bites of food and a long drink of beer, he finally asks “What now?”

“Well, the place across the street will probably have a drop in price,” Jaskier smirks.

“Seriously? Should live somewhere safer.”

“I would, but you know I can’t afford that… I suppose I could get a roommate” Jaskier says, biting his lip as he stares at Geralt.

The witcher grunts. He knows exactly what Jaskier is asking even without the words leaving his mouth.

“Come on, Geralt! It’d be fun!” He pesters “You live in a dump, too. Roach deserves better than this! Don’t you, Roachy?” he coos, the cat mewls at him as though she’s agreeing. Traitor. “We could afford something a bit nicer together. And I promise I won’t get in your way more than usual. No jam sessions late at night or early in the morning. I’ll even cook sometimes. Please… Unless, you want me to find some stranger from Craigslist to live with me… But hm, isn’t that how the Craigslist killer found his victims?”

Geralt grimaces. “No- he killed a masseuse he hired through craigslist.” Is Jaskier even old enough to remember when that happened?

“Ah, I thought he asked them on dates,” Jaskier muses.

“No, you’re thinking of the Grindr- no, the Tinder killer.”

“Ah, so Grindr is a safe app to find roommates with then?” Jaskier asks, tilting his head as if it were an innocent question; he bites his fork as if he were thinking- fucker even flutters his long eyelashes. Geralt does his very best not to stare at his over obvious flirting. He knows exactly what Jaskier is doing, yet that doesn’t seem to prevent it from working.

Geralt groans, pinching the bridge of his nose “Mac n’ cheese doesn’t count as cooking. No unannounced guests, and do not touch my swords when I’m gone.”

“Really?!”

“Don’t make me regret this, Pancratz.”

“Yes! You won’t- I promise.” Jaskier beams.

A silence falls over them while they eat before Jaskier pipes up again “Wanna watch the Monster from Brokilon? it’s the one with the Leshen!”

“Witchers don’t even know that much about Leshens; I can only assume what kinds of inaccuracies are in this movie.”

Jaskier smirks, “You can lecture me about it afterwards.”

It has become somewhat of a past time for Jaskier to find various old and horrible horror movies to force Geralt to watch. At first, he was simply curious if there was any truth in them, but once he found Geralt ranting about their atrocious and uneducated portrayals of even the simplest beasts, he seemed determined to put the witcher through more.

For some reason Geralt puts up with it. Jaskier usually ends up talking over it half the time anyways, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy having someone to share his monster facts with. There’s something that lights up in the musician’s eyes whenever they talk about creatures and adventures; he doesn’t shy away from it like other humans.

So, he hums contentedly as Jaskier sets up the movie. When it starts, Geralt rests his arm on the back of the couch as he always does. It’s not his fault if somewhere in the night, Jaskier scoots closer and closer until he’s pressed up against the witcher. He’s just like that. And if he falls asleep, his head drooping to rest on Geralt’s shoulder, the witcher only lets him because Jaskier’s had a rough day.

[osmiumamygdala]

Dandelion

Colossus X @boneeating--baastard 's oc, SFW, fluff, Petey being a mother hen, as always.

I used some Russian in this (please do correct me if you see anything wrong so I can fix it!) So some translations:

Lapochka= darling/dear

Milyy= sweet/cute

volzlyublennyy= beloved 

A-one, a-two, a-one two three four!

The heel of Balea's sneakers squeak upon hitting the floor, but their tempo remains impeccable as always. Their fingers dance across the strings of their axe, the pluck-pluck-pluck shooting through the guitar's body and causing their chest to hum.

They aren't performing with their band right now-- no, this is all them, all alone, practicing in the empty art studio of the X-Mansion. Even so, they can imagine-- no, hear, hear as though it were right there-- the rest of the band, playing in synchrony, filling this small room with loud, delicious sound rather than the semi-awkward twang of them, solitary, with their guitar.

Yes, instead of this dark, cramped room, lined wall to wall with easels, paintings, sculptures, and paper mache, there is the steady beat of the drums, the thrill of the bass, the scream of a second guitar. Old, amateurly-made masks that line the wall opposite to them are screaming fans, faces drawn open in cheer. A poster to their left featuring a chameleon grasping a branch bids them "hang in there!" And so, they do.

They've been "hanging in there" all day. All week. All their life, really. Between University, general anxiety, and the normal daily grind-- which is to say, the abnormal shit-storm their life has become since squeezing themself into a superhero uniform-- they really can't seem to catch a break.

Music is a whole different ballpark. Can it be hard work? Yes. But the satisfaction they know they'll feel the second they play the rep right just once, godammit, will be worth it all. They've been working so hard already. The minutes have blurred together into one gross, energy drink infused nightmare. Their fingertips are numb, and they're pretty certain their throat has been torn up so wretchedly that lemon juice won't help it now.

One more rep. Just one more rep.

.

.

.

Piotr finds them at a quarter to midnight. He hears them before he sees them; their voice casting down the empty hallway and echoing back. He stops and listens before trying anything. One part of him feels bad for doing it. After all, he wouldn't want anyone sneaking up on him and stealing peeks at his unfinished artwork without his say. But he can't help himself; hearing his dearest's music in the air is a cause for pause, and so he stops in front of the door, hand hovering above the doorknob, and sighs happily as their melody ebbs and flows and weaves throughout the air.

They're doing a cover of a song right now. He's never been up-to-date with music (he's a little old school, and he'll be the first to admit it. He spends his time listening to classical piano and Neil Diamond), but he thinks he knows this one. It sounds like...oh, what was it called...Creep? By...Radiohead!

Their voice wavers out on the last "I don't belong here," and they let out a nasty sounding cough. He ducks his head down to peer into the slim, rectangular window on the door. He sees them. Balea. That sweet, steadfast, optimistic soul that managed to capture his heart and all of him with it. Their back is facing towards him, their shoulders are sagged as they lean forward, perched on a stool (poor posture, he thinks. We should have a word about that), they're still wearing that same flannel from way earlier in the day (sweat-soaked. Poor thing must be exhausted) and he sees them take a swig of--

Monster. At midnight? Oh no.

They start plucking at the guitar strings again, this time starting up an Insidious original, but he doesn't allow himself to be distracted.

He swings the door upon gently, right as the opening verse begins.

"Balea," He says.

They startle, kicking some empty energy drink cans that were in front of them and nearly dropping their guitar.

"Are you aware of the time?"

"Jesus, big guy! You about gave me a heart attack!" Balea says, their voice raspy. They nervously push their glasses up the bridge of their nose.

Piotr picks one of the energy drink cans--Rockstar--off the ground, wiggles it, and grins, amused. "You mean, before these do?"

"Hah. Hah." Balea laughs humorlessly.

"Balea, my dandelion. Time?"

Balea blanks. "Err…uh...eight, right?"

"Lapochka," he says, sadly and softly, "is midnight.”

They look at the floor, stunned. "Oh."

"How long have you been playing?"

Balea scrubs at their eyes for a moment. "Ah, uh, four hours I think?"

He tsks and walks farther into the room until he's standing right in front of them. He kneels down, places their guitar lightly on the ground, takes their small hands, and rubs his large thumb over one of their bandaged fingers.

"You need sleep," he says gently.

"I need," Balea says, with a hint of annoyance, "to get better. I keep messing up this one song. Just the one! I HAVE to get it before I sleep tonight! I've almost got it!"

Piotr chuckles and moves his right hand to their left cheek. He smiles as he scans over their face, which is pulled into a scowl at the moment. Regardless of the expression, he finds them to be gorgeous, handsome, stunning-- any combination of words he can find to explain the joy he feels upon seeing them.

Even here, in this dark room, and even sleep-deprived and sweaty and peppered with Spiderman band-aids as they are, he sees a piece of art. No person could ever hope to capture their beauty in ink, he thinks, and neither in clay or stone, nor paint or pixels. They are ethereal to him.

Which is why seeing the bags under their eyes and smelling the caffeine on their breath makes his heart clench.

"Please dandelion, you've been working so hard already. You need some rest."

Balea thinks it over for a minute, biting their lip in thought and gazing up into his eyes. "Why do you call me that?" They ask. "Dandelion?"

"I call you "Dandelion" because-" he pauses to plant a kiss to one of their bandaged fingers "-you are like dandelion!"

They frown. "I'm like a weed?"

Piotr is taken aback. He hadn't been expecting that. "Weed is...is just concept people came up with because they are annoyed when plants grow where they don't want them." He laughs at that internally; he was a farmer, and he's dealt with his fair share of 'weeds'. His point still stands, he thinks, because even those 'weeds' can be breathtaking, in his mind.

"You are like dandelion because you are so bright." He says. "And determined. And brave."

"How are dandelions or me brave or determined?" They ask incredulously.

"You stand apart from everything else," he explains. "Like dandelion. Bright and bold. When you perform I...I feel so proud of you. Seeing you, on stage, surrounded by so many people? I could never! But you, you stand there, head held high, and take it in, like flower taking water from soil!

And dandelions grow wherever they can. Even through concrete! You do, too! Whatever life throws at you, you fight through it, and if someone tries to pick you off, well, you just pop right back up, as hopeful as ever!"

Balea grins at that. They are one tough cookie! Many an enemy has learned about their quick regeneration too late.

"I remember the first time I saw you," he says. Balea fidgets in place. They don't really like to remember that day very much. They hadn’t really been themself that day. Not quite. "Before pulling you from the rubble, I thought 'there is no way anything could have survived this'. And then I found you, and pulled you free, and it was like seeing a flower raise its head on the first day of spring. Bright, brave, determined, bold--" he places a round of kisses on their hands "--beautiful."

Balea finds themself shivering under all the affection. "Shuddup, you're making me blush!"

Piotr grins and places a kiss on their cheek. "Milyy."

They giggle before being overcome by a large yawn.

"Sleepy little flower," Piotr comments. "See? Time for bed."

"Noooo," Balea moans. "Just had a Monster. My skeleton is VIBRATING."

"If I had my way," Piotr says sternly, "I would lock all Monsters in a safe and drop them in a bottomless pit."

Balea opens their mouth in mock horror. "That would KILL ME babe! I would die! How EVIL! And here I was thinking the X-Men were the good guys!"

"It is a necessary evil," Piotr says solemnly.

Balea harrumphs and folds their arms.

Piotr's face is beginning to hurt from smiling so much at his beloved, and that fact only makes him smile more. They look so cute when they pout.

"If you come to bed, volzlyublennyy, I will massage all your pain away. I know you get, ah...achy back after practicing too long."

"Just a massage?" Balea asks, wiggling their eyebrows.

Piotr deadpans. "It's midnight. I am tired, love. And you look half awake as is."

Balea shrugs. "Eh, worth a shot."

They bend over to pick up their guitar, placing it neatly in its case. At the same time, Piotr sets to work gathering up all the cans and tossing them in a bin by the door.

Balea stands up, almost falling over themself due to their tired, cramped legs and sudden light-headedness.

"Babe," they say. "Did you see that cool magic trick? I just, like, hopped dimensions."

"No," he says firmly. "You had too much monster and too little movement in four hours."

"Shhhh, no, babe. I've unlocked a secondary mutation!"

He sighs good-humoredly and watches for a moment as Balea attempts to put on their guitar case. Their joints keep popping as they get used to movement again, and they wobble back and forth on their heels unsteadily. Piotr intervenes quickly and takes the case from their hands, slinging it around his own shoulders.

"Honey, wh--" before Balea can finish their question, they are scooped up in a pair of big, strong arms.

That sends them into a fit of laughter. "Babe, babe!" They squeak breathlessly. "You aren't gonna carry me to the room, are you?"

"That is the plan, yes," Piotr says, hugging them close.

"What if someone sees us?" They ask, suddenly timid at the thought of anyone catching them like that.

"Everyone else went to bed at a reasonable hour, love." Piotr scolds, pinching their cheek.

Balea blows a raspberry at him. "Midnight is reasonable for me! I'm a busybody and a night owl, okay!?"

Piotr chuckles and walks out of the art studio, making sure to lock the door behind him (which, he realizes, is difficult when your arms are full of your giggling, squirming lover).

As he makes his way back to their room, he watches the drowsy face of his dearest. He finds it endearing, how they fight to stay awake just so they can have that promised massage and spend more time with him. He hums a little song to himself. Something rock, the title of which is lost to him. All is good

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.06, “Cookie Monster”

Well, another week running a humorous (in theory) Andi Mack blog. Can’t wait to make jokes about what happens on the show this episode.

Let’s just check the episode title.

Nice, nice. Sounds funny. Lighthearted. I can do something with this.

*cracks knuckles*

Well, let’s get to work--

Oh? Children and guns. Ok. That’s... that’s a little dark.

But, I mean, I can probably still make this fun if I--

Ah, real life tragedy. Ok then.

Well, I certainly hope there’s at least another storyline in this episode that’s like, some kind of wacky, weird Invasion of the Body Snatchers type homage? I could definitely make jokes about that.

*crosses fingers*

Our episode begins with Andi, Bowie, and Bex at Bex’s place playing the Andi Game, which is where you just say stuff you know about Andi.

Bex is wiping the floor with Bowie by knowing lots of things about Andi like that she doesn’t like any condiments. None? How do you eat french fries? How do you eat tortilla chips? Dry? Who lives like that?

Bex taunts Bowie for losing. Bowie says it’s not fair, Bex and Andi have spent way more time together. I agree, the game is rigged. Just wait until they play the “How much do you know about The Renaissance Boys?” game. Then it’ll be Bowie’s time to shine.

Bex asks whose fault it is that Bowie hasn’t spent more time with Andi and Bowie’s like, it’s yours.

Which is such a valid point that Bex chooses to immediately ignore it and move on.

There’s a knock at the door and Bowie goes to check who it is. Turns out, it’s a tiny old lady whom Bowie refers to as “Mom.” She calls him “Steven” and they hug.

Bex tells Andi that Bowie’s actual first name is Steven. His license that one episode said Bowie, though, so did he change it legally? Why? “Steve Quinn” is a great name for a guitarist. It’s one of those names like Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck where you’re like, “That’s such a boring name, they have to be a good guitarist. They let the guitar do the talking.” Calling yourself “Bowie” is trying too hard. I guess that’s why The Renaissance Boys failed and Bowie’s stuck teaching guitar to some weird father/son duo in the back of a small record store.

Bowie’s mom, Cookie, goes around giving hugs to everyone.

Andi asks if it’s true Cookie lives on cruise ships. Cookie says yes, it’s like living in an apartment where your neighbors serve you drinks in coconuts. And, might I add, you also get the added excitement of knowing that one day your apartment building might sink into the ocean and drown you. So there’s that, too.

Cookie sees the mess they’re living in and offers to make the family dinner.

And dinner she makes, whipping together this...

...out of the stuff she had in her suitcase.

The family tries to figure out how this happened and Cookie says she never goes anywhere without a roast chicken, which is maybe the craziest thing anyone’s ever said on this show. I’d take it metaphorically except she really did literally have a chicken in her bag, otherwise where did this one come from?

And what was her plan if everyone had already eaten a nice meal? Leave the roast chicken just sitting in her suitcase with her clothes? Open the bag every now and then and pick at the meat like a vulture? Her neighbors on the cruise ship must hate her. “Oh God, here comes that lady that smells like chicken all the time. Just give her a coconut drink and she’ll leave you alone.”

Anyway, the family is so amazed to see food not served from a box, they don’t question any of this and sit down to eat.

At school the next day, TJ finds Cyrus in the hallway to ask him if he wants to hang out that weekend with his friends.

Cyrus is delighted to learn TJ has been talking about him to his other friends. I feel that. It’s just nice to be talked about, even if you’re not there. It’s why I leave every party by yelling “Later, suckers!” real loud and smashing a vase.

They agree to hang out and Cyrus calls his mom to let her know he’s been a topic of discussion.

Meanwhile, Buffy and Jonah walk to school. Buffy tells Jonah she likes his skateboard so he gives it to her.

They talk about going to the skate shop that weekend and have a fun time bantering back and forth until Principal Metcalf pounces on them and takes away the skateboard.

He can smell children having a nice time in his vicinity like a fun-killing bloodhound.

At Bex’s house, Bex and Bowie return to find Cookie has rearranged the furniture. Cookie asks if they love it and they don’t have the heart to tell her they don’t.

Bex wants to tell Cookie she’s not a fan of her coming in here and moving everything around without asking but then Cookie shows up with cookies like some kind of bribe and suddenly Bex can’t remember what upset her in the first place.

Out in the desert, TJ and his friends ride dirtbikes to off-brand rock n’ roll when Cyrus shows up.

TJ introduces him to his other friends, Lester and Reed.

Hold on one second. Lester? What in the world?

No one’s named their baby Lester in 150 years. In fact, I don’t believe in such a thing as a kid named Lester. Lester is the kind of name you only get as a middle aged adult. You wake up one day after turning 45, you realize you’re caught in a dead-end sales job, your hair is thinning, your face is getting droopy, and your dreams are unrealized. Then you check your wallet and see your ID has changed and it now says your name is Lester. And you accept that. You know why? Because you’re a Lester, and that’s what Lesters do. (Apologies to anyone reading this whose name is Lester, but, in my defense, I don’t believe you exist.)

I’ll tell you what Lesters don’t do: ride dirtbikes to off-brand rock n’ roll songs. Something’s up with this guy.

Anyway, TJ invites Cyrus to ride a dirtbike but Cyrus says he fears everything and that makes Reed laugh. Then Reed wishes to laugh more and he’s like, “Dance, clown!”

And Cyrus is like, I make observational humor. Reed laughs, appreciating that line from a meta-perspective.

Eventually they get Cyrus to try riding and TJ teaches him the in-and-outs of dirtbike usage.

Cyrus rides around on the bike and tries to make it up a hill. After a few failed attempts, and with encouragement from TJ and the others, Cyrus does something physical without hurting himself.

He does lose his shoe, though. However, as Cyrus notes, that’s really his brand at this point. He’s got lost shoes all over the county.

Andi returns home and finds her parents have become pod people.

Cookie has swaddled them and they no longer wish to live outside their cocoons. They want to change the channel but can’t, so Bowie calls for “Mommy.”

This episode’s got an aggressively strange energy to it.

Cookie tries to trap Andi in her web of motherly comfort, but Andi runs off before she can.

Over at Lost Art Skateboards...

...the one-stop shop for all your skateboarding and tattoo needs, Jonah and Buffy check out skate decks.

Buffy notices that Jonah doesn’t ever say “Docious magocious” anymore. Jonah feels like he grew out of it. I might argue there’s no age where docious magocious was ever a reasonable thing to say, but I guess we have different opinions on that sort of thing.

Buffy says she actually used to like when he said it. Jonah’s surprised because she used to make fun of it, but that’s why Buffy liked it.

Buffy spots the tattoo parlor connected to the skate shop and they go to check it out. They see a man there getting a tattoo and don’t immediately recognize him.

Yep, definitely not the profile of anyone they’ve ever seen before.

They talk about how crazy it is to get that many tattoos and whaaa--

It’s the principal?!

Jonah and Buffy run away like they just caught him chopping up a body in the woods.

Andi talks to Celia about her Cookie problem. See, Andi loves everything Cookie does, but everything about what’s she’s doing around the house feels weird and off-putting. Agree wholeheartedly.

Celia decides she’ll go check the situation out.

Back in the desert, Lester and Reed set up watermelons.

Cyrus has a question: are these watermelons for a watermelon eating contest? Love it. Love the thought process.

You ever just want to take a Saturday to go out to the desert with your bros, ride some dirtbikes, and then just chow down on watermelon? And preferably, chow down on that watermelon in some kind of competition of speed? I know I do.

I have a different question: whose job was it to lug three large watermelons out to the desert on their dirtbike? Lester, right? Freakin’ Lester.

Reed’s like, we aren’t eating the watermelons, we’re shooting them. Though, they could eat them after. No need to let perfectly good watermelon go to waste.

But the point is, the watermelons have to go pppffffghhttt first.

Or however you spell that. I feel like I’m missing some S’s in there?

And the only way for the watermelons to dopely go pppfffghhttt is to shoot them. Cyrus wants to know how they intend to shoot them and Reed shows him a bag. Cyrus’s face drops. Why?

Because inside the bag is Grandpappy Reed’s antique revolver from during the war. Not that Reed’s grandpa fought in the war. He also went out to the desert to shoot watermelons. It was a difficult time in our nation’s history and he needed to blow off steam.

Anyway, Reed’s Grandpa handed it down to his son, and then Reed stole it from him, and now it’s here, making Cyrus uncomfortable.

Cyrus goes to TJ to ask if he knew about the gun. TJ did. Cyrus says he’s leaving and he wants TJ to go with him, but TJ can’t bring himself to leave.

So Cyrus heads off alone.

Well that was a deep and dramatic moment. I wonder how we’re going to proceed from here.

Oh.

Andi finds her grandmother wrapped in a blanket, covered in food crumbs, and watching TV. Cookie made her a cookie and Celia was roped in.

Andi wanders into the kitchen and finds Cookie attempting to cut Bowie’s hair. She screams “No!” in panic.

She forces her other grandmother to drop the scissors, then pulls her away from the hair.

Bowie quietly watches this happen, then, without saying anything, reaches down, grabs a lollipop, sticks it in his mouth, and starts happily sucking on it.

Aggressively strange energy in this episode, man. Aggressively strange.

Andi talks to Cookie, who explains she’s being like this because she doesn’t get to see her family a lot so when she does, the mom thing kicks in. Plus being excited to meet Andi and all that.

Cookie says she has a gift for Andi. It’s a picture of Bowie as a baby eating dog biscuits.

This somehow answers and raises so many questions at the same time.

Bowie walks out and asks Cookie if she’s really leaving, and Cookie, like an old mariner, says yes, the seas are a-calling.

Andi and Cookie share one last hug before parting.

At school the next day, Jonah and Buffy dread running into Metcalf.

They hope to avoid him for the entire year. But they should know better than to show fear, because they emit a fear scent and that brings Metcalf right to them.

He admits it was weird for him, too, to run into them. He asks if they want to know about his tattoos and of course they do. He explains they’re all prison based. Or not. They’re based on him just wanting a tattoo. Or other stuff. I don’t know. We’re running out of time in this episode and gotta wrap things up so there’s no time to really get into it.

Metcalf’s like, guess you think I’m pretty cool now, huh? And Buffy’s like, no, you’ve ruined tattoos for me, thanks.

And Metcalf’s like, oh.

Then he rolls down his sleeve and runs off before Buffy and Jonah can see him cry. Buffy and Jonah fist bump in celebration of ruining Metcalf’s day.

Wow, way to make me feel bad for that lunatic.

Cyrus and Andi head to Metcalf’s office. Cyrus has come to tell him about the gun. He’s worried TJ will hate him for this.

Andi argues he could very well be saving TJ’s life.

Cyrus finds the courage to go in, but Metcalf meets him at the door. He invites him in and Cyrus finds a police officer waiting for him.

Cyrus wants to know if something happened, but Metcalf tells him everyone’s ok. The officer just has some questions. About the gun.

And you know the gun is a serious issue because even the police in this town don’t carry them.

Cyrus says he came in here to tell about the gun, but he’s surprised to find they already know.

Cyrus admits to being there and wants to know if he’s in trouble but the episode ends before we can find out.

So many questions up in the air:

1. Will Cyrus be in legal trouble just for being in the vicinity of a gun for a few seconds?

2. Who told them about the gun?

and, most importantly,

3. What kind of person names their child Lester?!

Come back in two weeks to find out the answers, Macketeers.

Except for the one about Lester. The world may never figure that one out.

[bad-draft-stuff]

c. AU 11

gawrsh

Arsé-kun: -Monday, November 8th- Arsé-kun: *Everyone's in class! Everyone's too busy right now. Let's check in with someone else!* Sheepy: Holmes: I deduce… this is the room! How fitting! *he’s trying to seem excited, but he’s nervous more than anything* Arsé-kun: Watson: What gave you the idea? Sheepy: Holmes: ...A gut feeling. Arsé-kun: Watson: So not the crudely drawn sign on the door? Sheepy: Holmes:...Oh, yes, that too. Sheepy: Holmes: Of course, that was the final clue! Arsé-kun: Watson: Just go in already. Sheepy: *Holmes groans and goes in* Arsé-kun: Red: *holding up Crow* Woah... Are they allowed to make angels this small?? Sheepy: Crow: Oi!! I'm NOT small!!! Sheepy: Crow: I'll have you know that among hedgehogs I'm TALL!! At least the ones from the pet stores! Arsé-kun: Red: Compared to Red Magnus you are! You're so small that it's rid⭐ckulous! Sheepy: Crow: Blame my parents, not me! I drink milk every day and it's NEVER helped!!! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Oi, don't drag me into this. Sheepy: Christo: ...Aren't hedgehogs lethally allergic to milk? Sheepy: Crow: Well, it's your parents who decide your height! If I was in control of my height I'd be taller than that dumb Wimpion! Then he could never pick on me. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Is he still picking on you? *he's playing with a butterfly knife* Do I need to interfere? Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, he's a NEET bully! Dark Sun God this, Black Monster that! And then Rom always punches both Wimpion and me 'cuz apparently I'm partially at fault! *pout, pout* Arsé-kun: Klimt: Huh. Maybe I sh- Arsé-kun: Barok: No and do not Sheepy: Holmes: Mr. Reaper! It's a surprise to see you here. Sheepy: Crow: My name is CROW!!! Sheepy: Crow: And I'm too young to be called "Mr"! Call old people like Dad or Uncle that!! Arsé-kun: Barok: Not everything is about you, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: There's no other reapers in the room. Arsé-kun: Barok: Let's keep it that way. Sheepy: Crow: I prefer "Angel of Death" or "Fallen Angel" anyway! Eheheh! They really do sound like cool titles! Arsé-kun: *Raph looks up from working to stare at Crow. How many times do we gotta teach you this lesson, old man??* Sheepy: Holmes:.... Sheepy: Holmes: *thinking*......... Sheepy: Holmes: Oh. I remember you. I watched you kill one of the students once. Sheepy: Crow: He's already dead! It's not killing him if he's dead! Arsé-kun: Barok: Today a detective learns that people die when they are killed. Sheepy: Holmes: That isn't what I mean. Sheepy: Holmes: I mean that I watched him strike one of the students with that guitar he carries around and take his soul, in a room full of innocent bystanders. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Cool. Sheepy: Holmes: Anyway, Mr. Reaper, I didn't expect to see you here. If I'd known, I would've brought my violin. I wrote a new theme song for you. Arsé-kun: Barok: Horrible. I don't want it. Sheepy: Holmes: You sound so eager to hear it! Sheepy: Crow: Myumons get mean when they hear bad enough music, you know! You better not be messing with him! Sheepy: Holmes:???........ Sheepy: Holmes: There's so much I still don't know... Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't worry about it too much. Sheepy: Holmes: I won't. Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose it should be obvious, but... is it true everyone here is actually, well... Arsé-kun: Raph: Sure is! Sheepy: Holmes: Even Mr. Reaper? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Of course Uncle is an angel. What else would he be? Arsé-kun: Barok: May I offer the alternative? Sheepy: Holmes: Yes? Arsé-kun: Barok: Dead. Sheepy: Holmes:...Dead? Sheepy: Crow: You look lively for a dead guy, Uncle! Arsé-kun: Barok: Horrible. I said that was the alternative. Not that it is correct. Sheepy: Crow: Oooohhh... Sheepy: Holmes: I didn't know you were an uncle, Mr. Reaper. I'm learning all sorts of things today! Arsé-kun: Barok: Unfortunately I have a brother to blame for that. Sheepy: Holmes: He's older than I am and likes gambling. Sheepy: Holmes: How sad for you! I, too, have a brother. He's older than me and likes gambling. Arsé-kun: Barok: And the next time he tries to gamble with me over a court case, I'm going to give him a molotov cocktail. Sheepy: Holmes: You've met him? Arsé-kun: Barok: Sadly, yes. Sheepy: Holmes: Contrary to what the books state, Mycroft and I get along quite well. Sheepy: *Il is busy playing his switch and ignoring all of this* Arsé-kun: *Raph goes back to his stack of paperwork, stretching his two wings out out of annoyance. paperwork* Sheepy: Holmes: I hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions... Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Fine. What. Sheepy: Holmes: Why do some of you have four or six wings? Sheepy: Holmes: Isn't two enough? Wouldn't more get in the way? Arsé-kun: Barok: It's power and rank. The extras can be hidden whenever, but the more they have the higher the rank. Arsé-kun: *Most wings are not out right now that I know of. Raph, again, only has one pair of wings showing* Sheepy: Holmes: So you'll never really be able to know if they're hiding any or not... Arsé-kun: Barok: You could probably guess based on how well known the angel in question is. Most are one or two pairs at most. Sheepy: Holmes: Well known...? Sheepy: Holmes: You overestimate me! Ahahahaha! I don't know a single thing about angels! Arsé-kun: Barok: .... You're hopeless. Sheepy: Holmes: And the loud kid has three pairs... so he's high ranking? Sheepy: Crow: My name is Crow! C-R-O-C -- No! C-R-O-W!!! Arsé-kun: Barok: Yes. Angels of death tend to automatically be six or more. Sheepy: Holmes: And the one with bad vibes who attacked me the other day...? Ah, my brain is all so hazy of that moment. Arsé-kun: Barok: No wonder you're repeating yourself. Judgment got to you. Sheepy: Il: *he looks up from his switch* That is not my name. I also never attacked you. I scared off the source of danger and you happened to be in the middle of it. Arsé-kun: Raph: Draining other angels is not good for them, Il. Sheepy: Il: He recovered, so it's fine. Sheepy: Holmes: That... implies you'd be perfectly willing to do it again. Sheepy: Il: There's no problem with it. Arsé-kun: Raph: If it leaves any harm on them, it is a problem. Memory loss is a problem. Sheepy: Il:.....? Sheepy: Il:....... Sheepy: Il: It takes energy to heal... Sheepy: Il: Improper maintenance can cause future bugs. Arsé-kun: Raph: I've told you that I'll help you when you need it. You don't need to bother with anyone else. Sheepy: Il: ....... Sheepy: Il: I'll ask you for help the next time you're around when it happens. Arsé-kun: Raph: Thank you. Sheepy: Il: But you weren't around this time. Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Fine. Permitted post-event. Sheepy: Il: Thank you. I did a good job! Arsé-kun: Raph: You DID scare away a high level threat, even if it's presence was already permitted. Sheepy: Il: *He's proud of himself!* Sheepy: Holmes: That was my friend... Arsé-kun: Barok: I can't believe you managed to befriend that thing before knowing what you were. Arsé-kun: *Raph's happy that Il's happy. Positive loop* Sheepy: Holmes: He's not a thing. He's simply an entity who is curious about humans. Of course I, a human, could show him just what being one is about! Ahahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: Which you're not. Sheepy: Holmes: Don't you know, Mr. Reaper? Ah, well you wouldn't, because I don't spread this around. But I suppose the new information that we could have known each other before the fall justifies me telling you this... Sheepy: Holmes: I have amnesia. Arsé-kun: *Barok holds a hand out. Klimt pays him without a change of expression* Sheepy: Crow: Wouldn't that be pretty obvious? An angel who doesn't know anything about angels? Probably amnesia! Arsé-kun: Raph: Crow, I had to teach you things as well. Sheepy: Crow:.............. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, but I'm a farmer! Why would I know anything about that stupid junk anyway?! Arsé-kun: Raph: Because you lived here? Sheepy: Crow: Eh... I didn't really interact with other angels anyway. Life 'n death are intertwined, but just 'cuz you're more on the life side doesn't mean angels are really gonna feel comfortable interacting with someone whose hands are stained with death. Kid or not. Arsé-kun: Raph: ............ Arsé-kun: Raph: I can't argue with that at all! Completely checks out! Sheepy: Christo: Something about you being a brutal killing machine with no remorse for your actions has something to do with it... Did I say that out loud? My mistake. Arsé-kun: Raph: Nope, that's it. Arsé-kun: *Red just sitting there like :> in the background* Sheepy: Il: Machine... Machines cannot feel love. I am very different than a machine. I feel love. I want to feel love, more than anything. I am confident I can feel love. I am going to feel love. Arsé-kun: Raph: And I agree! But you gotta realize it means consequences! Sheepy: Il: Consequences... Oh, saying sorry and moving on works. Sheepy: Il: That's how it works in otome games. Arsé-kun: *Klimt starts to input and gets backhanded by Barok. No.* Sheepy: Il: That's how it works in otome games. Sheepy: Crow: I don't think that you can just get out of murder by apologizing.... Sheepy: Crow: Uncle's job is to arrest you for that. Because he's a prosetuter! Arsé-kun: Barok: You can't. Even accidental or self-defensive deaths are not-- .... Close enough. Sheepy: Holmes: Prosecuter... Sheepy: Holmes: We've worked on cases together before. It's always so fun. Sheepy: Crow: I can't imagine you ever being fun! Sheepy: Il: Raphael. What is a prosecutor? Arsé-kun: Raph: How do I explain this.. They're the guys who are on the offensive side of a legal case. Lawyers in attack mode. Sheepy: Il: I know of lawyers. I played an otome game with one once. Sheepy: Il: He was in defense mode. He taught me a great deal about love. Arsé-kun: *Barok isn't happy about that description* Sheepy: Il: Holmes, too, taught me about love... That love is not just for others, but for yourself as well. Loving yourself is equally important... So said Sherlock Holmes. Sheepy: Holmes: I never said this. Arsé-kun: Raph: Game version of you. Sheepy: Holmes: How did I get turned into a dating sim boyfriend... Sheepy: Il: The Reaper hasn't been, despite working with you. He needs to work harder if he wants to be acknowledged. Sheepy: Holmes: Is this really how anyone wants their accomplishments acknowledged...? Arsé-kun: Barok: No thank you. Sheepy: Il: It's the greatest honor, I think, that someone thinks that you are so full of love that you could teach others about love. Sheepy: Holmes: I feel like "Mr. Reaper" and "Love" are two sets of words that could never go together. Arsé-kun: Raph: Hey, if Death can be represented by an upside down cupid way back when, it still works out now! Sheepy: Holmes: Hmmm.... An upside down cupid... Sheepy: Holmes: So if we put Mr. Reaper upside down, he'd be full of love? Arsé-kun: Barok: Don't try it. Sheepy: Holmes: You aren't adventurous enough! Sheepy: Holmes: It's important to try to experience things like no one else has. That's how you think outside of the box. Arsé-kun: Klimt: I agree!! Sheepy: Holmes: And it would be hysterical! Arsé-kun: *Barok makes a face of disapproval before turning himself upside down on his chair. He's not pleased.* Sheepy: Holmes: Well? Do you feel full of love? Arsé-kun: Barok: I feel a headache coming on. Sheepy: Holmes: A headache of love! Arsé-kun: Raph: Actually, it's the increased bloodflow to the head. Sheepy: Holmes:..... Sheepy: Holmes: How boring... Sheepy: Holmes: I was hoping for fun romance stories. Arsé-kun: Barok: I could tell plenty. Just not about myself. Sheepy: Holmes: That’s not as interesting… Arsé-kun: Barok: Then you get nothing. Sheepy: Crow: Eheh! Yeah, Uncle's too cool to feel love! Arsé-kun: Raph: Speaking of love, how's Watson? Sheepy: Holmes: Hm? He came with me, but I suppose he was feeling shy and decided not to come in. Arsé-kun: Raph: Huh. I wonder why. Sheepy: Holmes: Really, he seems like he'd be less out of place than I am. Sheepy: Holmes: After all, he is the kinder of the two of us! Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm not sure that would be a factor here.. Sheepy: Holmes: Aren't angels supposed to be kind? Arsé-kun: Raph: Key word: Supposed. A lot of us have gotten worse since falling, honestly. Sheepy: Holmes: Why would they become worse? Arsé-kun: Raph: Lots of reasons. Exposure to more than they're used to, trauma, any kind of injuries, not having the ability to function outside of Heaven.. Arsé-kun: Raph: No moral compass, just becoming more human in general since sin was seen as bad, um Arsé-kun: Raph: ... There's more but I can't be assed. Sheepy: Holmes: I see... Arsé-kun: Raph: I don't mind. A lot of things called sinful weren't even anything worth caring about. Sheepy: Il: They weren't anything worth caring about... Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, a lot were! I'm complaining more about minor things. And emotional things, that was such a load of shit. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahahaha! I can't imagine myself functioning well with so many rules. I just love to find new ways to break them! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Amen to that! Sheepy: Holmes: So you say, but I have a feeling we two have different perspectives on what rules can be broken... Sheepy: Crow: Dad's responsible and follows rules! I think! Arsé-kun: Klimt: One that can't is church sanctuary. ... That's it! Sheepy: Crow:........ Arsé-kun: Klimt: Laws are for humans. Sure, I'll follow common sense, but I'm not needing a guidework to do what's right. Sheepy: Crow: *squinting* Aren't there rules like "don't steal" or "don't kill people" that should be followed? Arsé-kun: Klimt: Well, obviously, but even those have exceptions. Sheepy: Crow: Exceptions or not, if you kill people, you make more work for me! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Well aware! That's why I've been asking you first! Sheepy: Holmes: You ask your son who you can or can't kill...? Arsé-kun: Klimt: If they're not on death's list, then they're not dying yet! Arsé-kun: Klimt: It's a lot of work if they die early apparently. And anyway, I'm not gonna mess with that! That'd be messed up! Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! It's a lot more work for me! Arsé-kun: *despite the topic, Klimt has only changed from his casual smile once- and that was on bringing up church sanctuary. fucks given: one* Sheepy: Crow: I've already had bad luck recently of ghosts totally embarrassing me in front of everyone.. Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, one of my patients was there for that. Okita says he went to hell afterwards, or so he claimed. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Nah, that's not it. Boss just threw him into his coffin so he could feel dead. Arsé-kun: Raph: Well. That's a new one. Sheepy: Crow: He's got tubunkulosis! He's gonna end up dead if he doesn't do anything about it. Arsé-kun: Raph: He sure does! He came back with a note about an adjustment.. I was wondering where that came from! Sheepy: Crow: Wow! For Death, Boss is working really hard to not have work! I should work harder, too. Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Ooh, he'll get mad if I bring this up.. But he's also not here... Sheepy: Crow: I won't tell Boss what you say! Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, in that case... Arsé-kun: Raph: I like him. He's a good man, even when he's trying to be scary. He doesn't need to warn anyone about their deaths or try to be gentle, but he does. You got a good boss, kid. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Boss is very good to everyone! Sheepy: Crow: Without him, I wouldn't be what I am now! Arsé-kun: Raph: Dare I say it, I'd be willing to bet feathers on him being a sweetheart when no ones around! Hell, probably you too. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Me what? Arsé-kun: *Raph does not clarify himself* Sheepy: Crow: Why would I bet on that? I know the answer. Sheepy: Crow: Boss is my family! I can confirm he's a good guy! I wouldn't bet against that. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Man... If I'd known Crow was around, I wouldn't have gotten upstaged! *he doesn't seem to mind, though* Sheepy: Holmes: You have a chance now to try to gain points. ...Ah, rather than being called cutesy nicknames and being treated as a little on the childish side... Arsé-kun: Raph: What, you don't like being called Holmsies? You're stuck with it. We're all stuck with names if we know Iris. Sheepy: Holmes: Well, I've been stripped of my fatherly title and I'm now just the man that she feels the need to warn psople about. "He can be difficult to deal wih sometimes, but try to be patient with him, okay?" "Try to be gentle with him, because his feelings are easily hurt"..... Arsé-kun: Raph: .. Okay, yeah, I can see how that'd get annoying. I'll see if I can sneak a hint to her at work later. Sheepy: Crow: *annoyed tail swishing* Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose I can be unreliable at times... is that it? Hmhm.... Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz I see Boss as family doesn't mean Dad's been upstaged or anything! If Iris can have two dads, I can, too. And I have the coolest Uncle in the world. So there! Arsé-kun: Klimt: I was kidding. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah... I wasn't. Arsé-kun: Raph: You could always engage in an "Ask your dad" feedback loop if Watson's willing to fool around a little. Sheepy: Holmes: Watson? Fool around? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah, that was the downside. Too unlikely. Sheepy: Holmes: Yes... At the end of the day, he's pretty serious. Sheepy: Holmes: There's no need to follow rules if you aren't hurting anyone by breaking them. He should have more fun. Arsé-kun: *Klimt mimes an Amen* Sheepy: Holmes: In fact, he can break rules with me! Ahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: I'm going to throw you into jail myself. *he cracks an eye open to glare at Holmes* Sheepy: Holmes: Rules and laws are entirely different! You can't throw me into jail for... let's see. Sheepy: Holmes:...Waking up late when I should be at work, eating in no food areas...feeding pigeons food I don't want in no feeding areas... Sheepy: Holmes:....Standing on things that aren't supposed to be stood on...pressing alarm buttons because they're bright and shiny... Arsé-kun: Barok: Some of those are perfectly reasonable to arrest you over. Sheepy: Holmes: Not true! Arsé-kun: Barok: Public disruptions, especially that last one. Sheepy: Holmes:?! Sheepy: Holmes: And yet.... you have no evidence I did any of those things. Arsé-kun: Barok: Not yet. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmhmhm. Good luck. Sheepy: Il: I feel guilt within you. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's ominous. Please word it differently. Sheepy: Il: He is guilty for his crimes and must be punished. Sheepy: Il: Is that less ominous? Arsé-kun: Raph: A little better, but you don't need to punish small things. That ain't your job. Sheepy: Il:....? Arsé-kun: Raph: You deal with the major problems! We can handle small ones. Sheepy: Il: Really....? Hmm... Arsé-kun: Raph: If you needed to deal with all of them, we wouldn't be here chatting it up, would we? Sheepy: Il: Oh. I understand now. Sheepy: Il: So I should spare him. Sheepy: Crow: He's not on my list so it'd make me really bitter if you gave me extra work! Arsé-kun: Raph: Please don't kill other people if you don't have to. Arsé-kun: Raph: Sins are not a good reason to kill while on terra firma. I've told you this. Sheepy: Il:...........*he's mulling this over*..... Arsé-kun: Raph: Killing people gets you in trouble if it's uncalled for. This will affect your ending. Sheepy: Il:....! Sheepy: Il: I have to make him understand his wrongdoings gently. Is that it? Arsé-kun: Raph: That's it, bud. Arsé-kun: *Red continues Vibing in the bg with Christo. Let the real adults talk* Sheepy: Il: My chains are painless if I am careful. Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe don't do that. He's still healing from other injuries. Sheepy: Il:...? Other injuries? This is difficult. Sheepy: Holmes: Another answer is to not punish me... Sheepy: Crow: Uncle really doesn't look at all like a reaper... Why not "Mr. Dracula" or something? You know, those Victorian goth men who drink blood? A Dracula. Arsé-kun: Raph: Vampires aren't all dracula, and your uncle isn't one! Sheepy: Crow: I know Uncle isn't a... eh... What is it? Vampire? Sheepy: Crow: But he looks more like one than like a reaper. Sheepy: Crow: For example! He always has wine on him! He wears a cloak! His fashion style! Arsé-kun: Klimt: So edgy and so unnecessary! Sheepy: Crow: I used my vague memories of him for a costume a while back, though! For a Halloween gig! Eheheheh! Of course the cattle loved me! Arsé-kun: Barok: ... So you can dress yourself better than your father. That is good to know. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Well, I had fun with it, but it was mostly just meant for Halloween! Rom was a Frankenstein! Arsé-kun: Barok: That did nothing to clarify if you meant the scientist or the creation. Arsé-kun: *Barok finally gets back up so he can sit upright. klimt tries to take the chair. klimt gets kicked* Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Scientist? Creation? Sheepy: Crow: I dunno what you're talking about! I just know he was dressed as a Frankenstein. Arsé-kun: Barok: ...... Did he have giant screws on his head? Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Arsé-kun: Barok: Then a creation. Sheepy: Crow: I know a real one! He's my buddy! His name is Tree! Arsé-kun: Raph: You call him Tree? Sheepy: Crow: Isn't that his name? I like him! He doesn't bully me about my height! Arsé-kun: Raph: His name is Adam... Sheepy: Crow:.....?! Arsé-kun: Raph: If he didn't complain, he probably likes it! Sheepy: Crow:...Wow, I never realized I was calling him the wrong name this whole time... Arsé-kun: Raph: He helps out around the hospital. Sometimes he does janitorial work because like hell are we letting Nyar in! Arsé-kun: *Raph pauses and thinks* Sheepy: Crow: Yeah! I met him around there! I'm always close by, you know! Arsé-kun: Raph: .... Speaking of which, has anyone even heard about that guy lately? I haven't seen him since last week, and that's... Terrifying, actually. Nyar, not Adam. Sheepy: Crow: Who? I don't know that guy. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, I haven't seen him. Arsé-kun: Barok: I don't want to see or hear him. Sheepy: Il: I don't like him. Misyr feels similar to him, but has a good heart. Arsé-kun: *Klimt has no idea who we are talking about* Sheepy: Holmes: We probably should be very concerned. Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus saw crumpled cans on the ground! Red Magnus isn't a slob and threw them out for him! Arsé-kun: *thanks red for your valuable input.* Arsé-kun: Raph: That Sheepy: Christo: Maybe he was feeling strongly hated and left. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's... Really concerning. He's up to something, then. Either here, or anywhere else. Sheepy: Holmes: But is it our job to stop him? Arsé-kun: Raph: If it endangers any of the students? Yes, absolutely. Sheepy: Holmes:...True. Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose we should tell Mr. Carter later... Arsé-kun: Raph: I'll pop in before I go back to work! It's on the way there anyway. Sheepy: Holmes: Good idea. Sheepy: Crow: What's the big deal with him anyway? Sheepy: Crow: Why should we be scared of him? Arsé-kun: Raph: Who? The guy that alternates between useful and murderous? Sheepy: Crow: Nyar. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's what I said. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: So he's scary because he's murderous? That doesn't scare me. Sheepy: Crow: I can beat anyone with my crimson fist! Ehehe! Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't. It's not worth it. Sheepy: Crow: He's that wimpy? Arsé-kun: Raph: .... I'll make a note to expect you as a patient sometime soon. Sheepy: Crow: I bet Rom's way stronger! And he punches me all the time! Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus would fistfight a cd rom! *thanks bud* Sheepy: Crow: No, no! He's ShinganCrimsonZ's drummer! He's real cool! He's the perfect adult! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Your perfect adult beats you up? *he starts rolling up his sleeves* Where can I find this fella? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, where can you find Rom? Sometimes the coffee shop, uhh... Sheepy: Crow: With ShuZo... Class... Arsé-kun: Barok: Don't answer that. He intends violence. Sheepy: Crow: With the other bandmates... Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: You'd lose against Rom! Don't even try it! Arsé-kun: Klimt: :) Sheepy: Crow: Really! Sheepy: Crow: He's really tough! Arsé-kun: Klimt: We'll see about that. Sheepy: Crow: ....Eh? Sheepy: Crow: You shouldn't fight him for that. He's just trying to stop fights between us. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Hmmm, so just the neet. Sheepy: Crow: Wimpion's just a jerk! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Hmmm. Sheepy: Crow: He's always calling me a tiny rodent and insignificant. Arsé-kun: Klimt: So let's really show him what insignificant means! Sheepy: Crow: Yeah, yeah! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Maybe I'll do that right quick while you're still here. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? How? Arsé-kun: Klimt: I haven't picked yet! Do you like the sound of a wooden or metal baseball bat more? Sheepy: Crow: I don't think he plays baseball... Arsé-kun: Klimt: Minor detail. Sheepy: Crow: Shuu can be the pitcher! Arsé-kun: Klimt: .... I like the wooden one better, has more of an oomph to it. Sheepy: Crow: Great, that works! Now we just need to find more players! Arsé-kun: Klimt: You only need two players to intimidate someone. Arsé-kun: Barok: ............. Sheepy: Crow: Since when do you intimidate people in baseball? Sheepy: Crow: Man, angels really have a weird way of playing baseball... When I've seen Shuu play baseball, he's never intimidated anyone... Arsé-kun: Klimt: There's a movie about it, but it's more about cheating than anything else. Arsé-kun: Klimt: It's called "Angels in the Outfield". It's boring. Sheepy: Crow: I don't watch movies! I can't sit through something for thirty minutes, let alone an hour or two! Sheepy: Crow: I've gotta be doing something in that time! Sheepy: Crow: Anyway, cheating is wrong! Not even Shuu would cheat, and he's a smug jerk. Sheepy: Crow: He acts all cutesy to strangers, but to people he knows, well... He's got a really dirty mouth! Full of profanity! Arsé-kun: *Barok is leaving the room in the bg* Arsé-kun: Klimt: But is he a problem... Sheepy: Crow: I gotta top him to be the best! Sheepy: Crow: Although... I really gotta find out why so many people like him... Is it his looks? Hmmm... Man, it's really gonna be hard to compare... Sheepy: Crow:....Do people really like such an artificial look? Arsé-kun: Raph: Sometimes, yes! Sheepy: Crow: Well, my cattle love me for my crimson soul! I don't fake anything! After all, lying is bad! Arsé-kun: Klimt: So what, you milk your fans too? Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: Why would I do that? Sheepy: Crow: You only do that to real cows... Sheepy: Crow:........Wait, wait, for cash... No, our merch doesn't sell as well as we would like... Arsé-kun: Klimt: .. Waaait, have you been distracting me from my brother escaping? Sheepy: Crow: No!! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Oh. Well, he did. Sheepy: Crow: I've just been telling you about things while noting that he was leaving and understanding it was beneficial to allow him to escape! Arsé-kun: Klimt: Too bad. He won't get to see justice play out in real time. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? You found another player? Arsé-kun: Klimt: No, I'm just gonna kick his ass for being mean to you. Sheepy: Crow: I think Wimpion would die if you did that... Arsé-kun: Klimt: Now, now, a broken ass has never killed anybody. Sheepy: Crow: Just 'cuz he's like, 6'2" or something doesn't mean he isn't like a piece of celery... Long, but easily snappable! Arsé-kun: Klimt: All right, fine. I'll settle on a bruised ass, that's the lowest I'll go. Sheepy: Crow: Ehhh... if that's the lowest you'll go, I guess that's fine... Sheepy: Crow: But if you kill him, we'll need someone else to write the sheet music... Arsé-kun: Klimt: I didn't say I was gonna do that! I'm not some sort of maniac! Sheepy: Il: You're incredibly guilty. Sheepy: Il: If it were not for the laws of this land, I would pass judgement down on you upon sight. Arsé-kun: Klimt: What? Guilty? But I'm not feeling any guilt at all. Sheepy: Crow: Well, I guess you wouldn't kill anyone... I don't remember you ever doing that back then, anyway... ........... Arsé-kun: Klimt: Well, yeah. I had a job to do then. Sheepy: Il: Ah, how frightening that you feel no guilt for your crimes... Sheepy: Crow: You had a job? Wow, I didn't remember... Arsé-kun: Klimt: How is stopping bad people from doing bad things a crime? Explain that, Hal 3000! Sheepy: Crow: I mostly remember good times more than anything. Like feeding the cows! And petting the cows! And brushing the cows! And caring for the cows! Sheepy: Il: That is not my name. My name is Il Fado de Rie. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Buddy, I'm gonna call you every robot name I can think of. Sheepy: Il: I am not a robot. I am flesh and blood just like you. Arsé-kun: Klimt: All right, you little terminator, you. Sheepy: Il: A robot cannot feel love. I can feel love. I have not experienced such a wonderful feeling yet, but I will one day. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Good luck, susie. I'm gonna go beat an ass for justice. Sheepy: Il:...Susie? Sheepy: Il: As I said... My name is Il Fado de Rie. Arsé-kun: Klimt: Whatever, askinator. C'mon, Crow. Let's teach that wimp the meaning of fear. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Okay, sure! Sheepy: Crow: See you guys later! Arsé-kun: Raph: See you guys. Don't cause too much trouble, you rascals. Arsé-kun: Raph: Maybe we should get going, Il. I've got work soon and you should probably catch up with Ignis. Sheepy: Il:...*His face may be blank, but he's putting off bad vibes* Sheepy: Il: Work is so soon? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah, unfortunately. Sheepy: Il: Then we should go so you have time to talk to Randolph Carter. Arsé-kun: Raph: Good idea! But is everyone else okay with that.. Sheepy: Christo: It doesn't bother me. I would be with Red Magnus regardless of if you were here or not. Arsé-kun: Red: Red Magnus is being used as a stepladder and cannot leave even if he wanted to! Sheepy: Holmes: Thank you for your services. Arsé-kun: Red: What are you looking at? Can I see? Sheepy: Holmes: This book here. Arsé-kun: *Red looks up* Arsé-kun: Red: ... Nope, all I can see is up your coat! Sheepy: Holmes: I'd prefer if you didn't look up my coat... Arsé-kun: Red: Then get your coat off Red's face! Sheepy: Holmes: I'll be down in a moment... Sheepy: *Holmes gets down, holding a strange book in his hands* Arsé-kun: Red: That doesn't look priesty.. Sheepy: Holmes: That's why it caught my eye. I don't think it's supposed to be here. Arsé-kun: *the book is chewing on his sleeve, normal book behavior* Sheepy: Holmes: Ah...I really liked this coat, too... Sheepy: Holmes:...Maybe Watson can fix it... Sheepy: *Holmes looks out the door for Watson* Arsé-kun: *Watson is right outside, smoking a pipe and tinkering with his watch. work you piece of shit.* Sheepy: Holmes: Watson.... Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes? Is it over yet? Sheepy: Holmes: My sleeve is damaged. It's my favorite coat, too. Sheepy: Holmes: It was chewed on... Sheepy: Holmes: You can fix it, can't you? Arsé-kun: Watson: Chewed on...? By what?? Sheepy: Holmes: *He shows off the strange book he found* This. Arsé-kun: Watson: .... Give me that. Sheepy: *Holmes gives him the book* Arsé-kun: *Watson puts it under his leg to keep it shut. denied* Sheepy: Holmes: Is the damage unfixable? Arsé-kun: Watson: It's just a few small holes. I can fix that easily once we get home. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah...! I knew I could count on you! Arsé-kun: Watson: As you should. Sheepy: Holmes: Is your watch broken? Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes. I'm gonna have to let the mechanic get a hold of it later. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, it's for the best that you didn't ask me. I wouldn't be able to stand sitting and working on something so tedious for very long. Arsé-kun: Watson: That's why I didn't ask you. Sheepy: Holmes: And yet, it seems like an unfair trade that you're fixing my sleeve and I'm not going to do anything in return... Arsé-kun: Watson: You'll be there. That's my payment. Sheepy: Holmes:....! Sheepy: Holmes: Really... Most people would say, "you not being there would be my payment"... Arsé-kun: Watson: We're married, you idiot. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha! I sure am lucky! Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, right. I feel like you would have fit in better at the meet-up than I did. Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't think so. I didn't like how it felt even from out here. Sheepy: Holmes: I felt too normal to be there. Sheepy: Holmes: At the end of the day... I see myself just as human as you, Watson. I suppose it's denial... but I have to ask myself why Mycroft never told me. Arsé-kun: Watson: ... I'm not even full human. You know this. Sheepy: Holmes:.....? Well, prosthetics don't make you any less human. Arsé-kun: Watson: It's a little more than... Ah, never mind. I suppose you aren't wrong. Sheepy: Holmes: Although, I suppose if you really were an angel or something along those lines, to me, you'd still be human. After all, that's all of my memories of you. ... Once again, I suppose that would be denial, but I always considered myself one of the few average people in a world full of things beyond my wildest dreams. I consider you that, too. Arsé-kun: Watson: I'm not an angel, but I appreciate the sentiment. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, so that's not it. Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose that would be too easy... Arsé-kun: Watson: Far too easy. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmmm... Now that I think of the facts I know... Sheepy: Holmes:.......... Sheepy: Holmes: Demon...but what kind? Are there different kinds...? Sheepy: Holmes:........I don't know enough about these things to be making guesses like this. Arsé-kun: Watson: Perhaps. Sheepy: Holmes: I guess I should know more, but I let the security guard handle such matters. Arsé-kun: Watson: You could always ask. Sheepy: Holmes: Ask? Arsé-kun: Watson: Asking questions isn't suddenly a foreign concept to you, is it? Sheepy: Holmes: No, no, it isn't. I don't know who I would ask about this. Ah, maybe that Misyr Rex fellow who's always rambling about demons. Arsé-kun: Watson: Do not ask him. He does not know anything. Sheepy: Holmes: ...? I suppose if my guess is right, you would know a lot about the subject... Arsé-kun: Watson: ... You can just ask me directly, Sherlock. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha, it's unusual, hearing you use my first name... Sheepy: Holmes:...Are you one? Arsé-kun: Watson: Not entirely. I'll explain more once we're home. Classes are going to be ending soon, and I don't want that knowledge spreading. Sheepy: Holmes: Yes... I can understand that. Arsé-kun: Watson: That being said... I'd better hurry off to work. You can do... Whatever it is you're going to do, I suppose. Sheepy: Holmes: I haven't decided on that yet. Arsé-kun: Watson: Have fun with it regardless. Sheepy: Holmes: I would say the same to you, but I can't imagine your job being fun. Arsé-kun: Watson: It's not. At least I had a break today. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, I know! Maybe I'll get hurt so I'll have a reason to come see you. Arsé-kun: Watson: DO NOT. Sheepy: Holmes: Too bad. I'll keep thinking on what I should do. Arsé-kun: Watson: Take a lap while you're at it. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll do that. Sheepy: Holmes: Good luck. Arsé-kun: Watson: Thank you. Have fun. Don't get hurt. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll try not to. Arsé-kun: Watson: If you do, I'll give you a reason to mope. Sheepy: Holmes: But my sleeve is bad enough... Arsé-kun: Watson: Exactly. Sheepy: Holmes: So it's not a given with me. Arsé-kun: Watson: Fair enough. Arsé-kun: *4 pm! classes are ended! the students... are released.* Sheepy: Holmes: I'll head off now. See you later. Arsé-kun: Watson: See you at home, dear Holmes. Sheepy: *Holmes heads off to pace laps around the campus* Arsé-kun: Mngwa: --And if I can't do a kickflip, then neither can you! Hell, you'd step on the board and break it because your tits are so fat! Sheepy: Guin: I don't see how my chest would impact that... I think I could do it! Sheepy: Guin: Since you said I couldn't, I feel more fired up than ever to try it! Arsé-kun: Pink: *on the ground* Flip that kick! Right over me! Sheepy: *Guin attempts it!* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 5 Sheepy: *Guin...fails, despite her confidence, and instead hits Pink and trips. Oof.* Arsé-kun: Pink: Oop! Better luck next time! Sheepy: Guin: How clumsy of me... Sheepy: Guin: Next time, I'll do better! Arsé-kun: Mngwa: What'd I say?? Big weights throw off your balance! Sheepy: Guin: And yet, I doubt anyone else can do it either. Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Wheel it over, let me try! Sheepy: *Guin gives it to Mngwa* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Mngwa takes the board and runs off. Distance is required for MAXIMUM SPEED.* Sheepy: *Guin watches* Arsé-kun: *Mngwa 'boards on back, and easily kickflips right over Guin and Pink, no ramp needed. She's very smug* Sheepy: Guin: *clapping* Amazing! Good job! Arsé-kun: Pink: Wowee! Sheepy: Holmes: *He's sitting on a railing on the upper level, He doesn't look at all balanced. His position is such that it could inflict that horrible feeling that one gets in one's gut when they see someone too close to the edge of a high place and imagine themselves in that position.* Good job! Wonderful trick! *He's kicking his legs some and rocking slightly to his right and left. he's having fun* However, there is but one thing that I have the misfortune to remind you of... Sheepy: Holmes: Skateboarding is not permitted on the campus. Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Aw, you again? Sheepy: Holmes: Yes, it's your friendly local detective, Sherlock Holmes! Arsé-kun: *Moriarty started walking in, saw Holmes, did a perfect 180° turn* Sheepy: Holmes:...! Ah! Professor! Sheepy: *Holmes jumps down and starts rushing over to Mori at top speed! He doesn't seem to realize that this should hsve broken something.* Sheepy: *...Holmes collides with him, hugging him from behind!* Arsé-kun: Mori: YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK MY HIPS Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahahaa! Professor! You're going to break my heart if you seem so disappointed to see me! Sheepy: Holmes: I don't think I could break your hips so easily! Although I suppose that's a question to ask Watson later. Arsé-kun: Mori: Please stop rushing me like some kind of rabid animal. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmmm? How else am I supposed to show how much I like you? Arsé-kun: Mori: By greeting me like a civilized human being. Sheepy: Holmes:.....Hmhmhm... I never learned how. Arsé-kun: Mori: Get learning. Arsé-kun: *Mngwa resumes skating around the room in the background. fuck da police* Sheepy: *Guin watches and tries to learn from her* Sheepy: Holmes: Wouldn't you feel lonely without anyone to enthusiastically greet you, Professor? Arsé-kun: Mori: My grandson is more mature than you. Sheepy: Holmes: You mean, your own grandson doesn't come over and hug you? Ahahahaha! How unfortunate for you! ... And yet, I am in the same boat with Iris, where she simply sees me as a man she's been tasked with keeping in line. Ah... It won't do, it won't do at all. ... Anyway, most people are probably less mature than him. That isn't a low bar to duck under. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... This is a fair point. I can't argue with this. Sheepy: Holmes: That's not necessarily a good thing... I feel like childhoods should be spent enjoying your time as a child. There's no reason to grow up too fast. But I guess that isn't my area to talk. After all, what experience do I have being a child? Arsé-kun: Mori: Not enough. You're clearly making up for it now. Sheepy: Holmes: No problem doing it now. Arsé-kun: Mori: Some hapless soul could be getting swindled into buying weaponry right this moment and you're spending it being a child? Sheepy: Holmes: I did walk into that the other day. Arsé-kun: Mori: While it's good for some, it's... Still concerning. I don't want my grandson coming home with a pistol. Sheepy: Holmes: How careless of him to do it while babysitting a child... Ah, I don't know if he bribed Satoru, but he didn't bribe me for my silence. Arsé-kun: Mori: Oh? So you know about the snow golem, do you? Sheepy: Holmes: Of course. I saw it the other day, cursing in front of him while selling people swords. Arsé-kun: Mori: I'd like to punt it across a football field. Sheepy: Holmes: I would like to see you do it! Sheepy: Holmes: Although, your hip might give out of you do. Arsé-kun: Mori: That's the problem. Maybe one of the kids will do it one day. Arsé-kun: Lance: *entering scene from the door opposite of Holmes and under the railing* What is this, some kind of murder mystery party? Sheepy: Guin: We're trying to kickflip. Sheepy: Holmes: Ah! *he looks over to Lance* You're not in the hospital anymore. Good, wonderful! I was concerned about you. Arsé-kun: Lance: Neat. Arsé-kun: Lance: *looking at Holmes* You just missed complaining at me. Arsé-kun: Lance: Complaining to the math teacher? Sheepy: Clover: Is harassing Uncle Mori really so entertaining...? Arsé-kun: Pink: Why're you here, old man mystery eater? Sheepy: Holmes: I don't eat mystery, you know. And anyway... What could the delinquent club be without its mascot? Arsé-kun: Pink: WHAT Sheepy: Clover: A better place, I think... Arsé-kun: *Pink jumps up... And trips on Guin. This doesn't stop em at all* Arsé-kun: Pink: I'm the beloved childhood mascot for wrongdoing! Sheepy: Holmes: Oh. I won't deny it. Arsé-kun: Pink: Boss! I'm gonna bully the bad mascot! Sheepy: Clover: Just don't injure him. Arsé-kun: Pink: B'okay! Sheepy: Holmes: My feelings are sensitive, so don't be too cruel. However... If you are the mascot of wrongdoings as a whole, could you really lower yourself to be the mascot of one little delinquent club as well? Arsé-kun: Pink: I can do whatever the hell I want! Rules are for lawyers and the devil! Sheepy: Holmes: Demons follow rules? But what about that Misyr fellow? Arsé-kun: Pink: who Sheepy: Holmes: At the coffee shop. Purple and pink hair. Always reading detective novels while drinking coffee. Arsé-kun: Pink: That's no demon, no way! I thought that was a cosplayer or an alien! Sheepy: Holmes: He's usually cackling about being a demon lord who breaks all the rules. Arsé-kun: Pink: Or an alien in love with Earth's customs with cosplay and anime! Sheepy: Holmes: To my knowledge, he's just like that. Sheepy: Il: Mascots are always animal based. Sheepy: Il: Ignis is the mascot. Arsé-kun: *Ignis looks up from his borgor to stare at Il* Sheepy: Il: After all, you are a dog! Arsé-kun: *Ignis just looks at Holmes for a solid minute before going back to his borogor* Sheepy: Holmes: Ah... it's him. Sheepy: Il: Shuu is the only alternative. Arsé-kun: Pink: Shuu's the patron god of gacha rhythm games and sparkling so much that my corneas self destruct! Sheepy: Shuu: I'm not interested in plastering my face on the non-existent lame merch that would come out of this club. What do I look like, a cash cow? Leave being an annoying self-absorbed mascot to someone else. Arsé-kun: Shuu: So fuck you. Arsé-kun: Pink: So it's between me, goodie two shoes angel bait detective mans, and the girl named after a cat! A catgirl would make a lot of money.... Arsé-kun: *Pink gets a skateboard thrown at them. Pink doesn't care.* Sheepy: Il: You're forgetting Ignis. Arsé-kun: Ignis: Ignis is not a mascot! I'd love to disembowl a mascot though. Now stop making me not eat my burger! *and back to bourgororor* Sheepy: Il: You could be a mascot for a burger place. Arsé-kun: Ignis: I'd eat all the stock. Sheepy: Il: Like... let's see. Sheepy: Il: You could be a clown. Arsé-kun: Ignis: I'd rather die. Sheepy: Il: I will, of course, be your companion... a handsome, romantic prince, having lived his life trapped in a tower.. only having escaped after years of isolation, now looking for love. Sheepy: Il: By the way, you can be my court jester. Arsé-kun: Pink: Why am I being ignored?? I'm the mascot! That's it! Sheepy: Il: Ah! Pink! I know! Sheepy: Il: You can be the hamburglar! Ah, but that concept is already used... Sheepy: Il: Anyway, little do I know... My life will suddenly change as my true love appears in my life! Can I come up with a romantic enough route for the heroine before she chooses another man's route? Only time will tell... Sheepy: Il:...Perhaps I want my route to be as soulcrushing as possible so the heroine cries tears on my behalf? Arsé-kun: Pink: Well, you gotta find a girl first! Do you actually want one or are you just saying it? Sheepy: Il: Hmmm? Sheepy: Il: Hmmmm... Sheepy: Il: I want to experience all the romantic events in otome games! I want to experience the "kabedon"! I just need to find someone as lovable as an otome ikemen to do it! Arsé-kun: Pink: Why ain't you ever say so? Sheepy: Il: I assumed I had... Sheepy: Il: Perhaps one day... I will experience a kabedon for myself, in all of its romantic glory... Sheepy: Il: But for now... what else... I want to experience being in the cold rain, only to have an umbrella put over me... And then we can both blush in silence because we're a little too close to be able to fit under the umbrella... Sheepy: Il: Ah, or a scene where it's cold, and I've given a coat to warm up... Sheepy: Il: *He cups his face in his hands* At the end of the day... I simply want to experience the romantic scenes in otome games! I don't care if it's by a heroine or an ikemen. Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Good fuckin' luck. I ain't doin' it. Sheepy: Il: I hope that one day I can find a route of my very own... Arsé-kun: *Lance is blogging about weaponry, up against the wall.* Sheepy: Guin: Kabedon...? Ah, Il, do you mean like this? *She approaches Lance and suddenly... slams her hand onto the wall next to him! Kabedon.* Arsé-kun: Lance: ?!?!??? *he's so startled he throws his phone an inch up out of his hands. he catches it, but that isn't the point* Sheepy: Guin: Sorry, did I surprise you? Arsé-kun: Lance: Mmmmmmmmmhm! Sheepy: Il: That's it! A kabedon scene! Arsé-kun: *pink cheering* Sheepy: Il: The heroine is usually kabedon'd by the guy she likes in a serious scene, and they're just close enough that a kiss is possible! And yet..! They generally don't lead to them. Ah, like the time Sherlock Holmes kabedon's you to protect you from oncoming gunfire... How romantic! Arsé-kun: *Lance has since turned bright red and is hiding his face with his hands and hair. Send help.* Arsé-kun: Pink: Did y'all expect differently?? It's Il, romance mans supreme! Sheepy: Guin: I-I don't know! He just mentioned it before and it seemed fun to try! Arsé-kun: *Lance is Dying. Not really. He's gone back to blogging but at a much faster pace, like him finishing the post about the M61 Vulcan meaning he'll be freed from this. Even though he could just turn away from her arm and walk away.* Sheepy: *Guin is flustered and doesn't know what to do. Does she just retract her arm and act like nothing happened? She doesn't know.* Arsé-kun: *Mori takes a picture to send to the resident love expert. And then deletes it because he doesn't need this shit after it's purpose.* Arsé-kun: *Mori does not get an instant reply to the text. Raph must be working.* Sheepy: Il: By the way... Ignis. Is your stomach hurting? Arsé-kun: Ignis: Why would it? Sheepy: Il: Mine hurts in a strange way. Arsé-kun: Ignis: ...? *he puts his fifth burget down to turn and look at Il* Did you eat anything weird? Sheepy: Il: No. I don't think so. Nothing out of the usual. Arsé-kun: Pink: Bet somethin' happened somewhere. Sheepy: Il: I can't eat things that are somewhere else. Arsé-kun: Mngwa: Are you having an emotion? Sheepy: Il: Although, I have mostly eaten sugary things today... Maybe that is it... Sheepy: Il: Emotion... Oh, yes, I do. Sheepy: Il: I feel extreme nervousness. Arsé-kun: Ignis: Why?? Nothin's happening here. If it was, I'd kill it. Sheepy: Il: I don't know. Arsé-kun: Mori: Holmes. Arsé-kun: Mori: See if your husband knows where Raphael is. He's not answering texts. Sheepy: Holmes: ...Right. If Watson doesn't read my texts, I'll head over there. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Watson. Where is Raphael? He isn't answering his texts. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Your timing is god awful. I'm already trying to prevent a Griffin-Okita-Lucan alliance as it is, also I don't know. Sheepy: Holmes: [text: to Watson] He isn't with you? Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Not that I've seen recently. I'll make sure he isn't sleeping in his office, then get back to you. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] If he isn't there all together, I'll head to Carter's to ask if he's seen him. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Be careful. I heard something is living just off the path nearby. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Don't worry. I'll be fine. But if you don't hear back from me in the next half an hour, maybe I'm in danger. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] ... I'll text you myself. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Good idea. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Good luck. If anyone hurts you, don't hesitate to tell me who. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Thanks, you too. And I'll keep that in mind. Arsé-kun: *we ain't writing for another hour, fuck that, here's a free skip* Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Don't worry. I'm fine. Sorry for the slow response. I got distracted and ignored the ping. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Oh Good. I was just about to start calling you. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] No need. Unfortunately, it seems like Raphael never ended up at Carter's. At this point, I'm not really sure where to check. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Maybe they're just out on a date. Who knows. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] He'd have celebrated that, no doubt, unless it was a secret. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] It could be! Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Thank you for responding at least. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] Of course. I try to respond when I remember to. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Bit on the stiff side now? What gives? Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] I'm worried about Raphael. He's probably fine, but that doesn't mean I'm not concerned. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] If we're lucky, he's just preparing some kind of practical joke. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] I'm sure that's it. Arsé-kun: Watson: [text: to Holmes] Either way, call if you find anything out. I'll do the same. Sheepy: Holmes: [Text: to Watson] I will if I remember to. Arsé-kun: *Watson puts his phone away. Other matters to attend to.* Sheepy: Iris: Did he find Raphy? Arsé-kun: Watson: Not yet. He thinks Raph didn't even make it to Carter's. I asked him to call if he finds anything. Sheepy: Iris: I can send out a drone later to go looking! Although... what if someone tries to shoot it down...? Sheepy: Grif: *He's clutching Dr. Griffin tightly* You said that Raphael is missing, and that he never made it to Randy's. Right? Arsé-kun: Watson: That is what was said, yes. Sheepy: Grif: That happened to Wil... yesterday? The day before? Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I found him injured off path. He had a concussion. Sheepy: Grif: It made me mad, and I intended to rampage about it, but it slipped my mind. Hmm... I suppose House's investigations will be beneficial for deciding who to maul. Arsé-kun: Watson: That does explain why Dr. West dragged him in last evening. Sheepy: Grif: It's possible that the same happened to Raphael. Arsé-kun: Watson: If that's the case... When we're done here, you'd better go looking with Holmes. We don't need a bodycount. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I can do that. Sheepy: Grif: But if House slows me down, I'll just drag him along. Very simple. Yes. Arsé-kun: Watson: Just make sure he doesn't get hurt. Sheepy: Grif: ...? That's my job. Arsé-kun: Watson: Glad to hear it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Iris: I hope Holmsies doesn't disappear, too... But I'm sure if anyone could reappear, it would be Holmsies... Arsé-kun: Watson: Is Dr. Griffin still struggling? If not, I'll take over from here. Sheepy: Grif: A little. Yes. Arsé-kun: Watson: So that should be... About five more minutes at most. Sheepy: Grif: That sounds right to me. Afterwards, I'll go join House. Arsé-kun: Watson: And please do. If you find anything, do get into contact. Sheepy: Grif: I can't text very well. Unless you can read and write in R'lyehian or Draconian, I'd need to call you. Arsé-kun: Watson: I never said you had to text. Sheepy: Grif: No. You didn't. I'll just call you. Sheepy: Grif: By the way. Did House mention the office being unusually dark? Arsé-kun: Watson: No, he did not. Sheepy: Grif: I see. So Uncle must have left... Arsé-kun: Watson: ..? Sheepy: Grif:....Surely, a detective like him would find that of note. Hmhm.... Arsé-kun: Watson: It wouldn't be of note if he didn't know about it to begin with. Sheepy: Grif: When I visited, I was told that Wil hadn't visited. As I said, he was injured... But clearly, Uncle was there, because the lighrs were off. Randy wouldn't turn his lights off without expecting him. He can take advantage of the darkness, you know. Sheepy: Grif: How would he not know about it? Arsé-kun: Watson: Perhaps your uncle was serving as a distraction. Sheepy: Grif: So if he never entered the office, he wouldn't notice. Arsé-kun: Watson: I feel like we're on two different trains of thought, but that still applies. Sheepy: Grif: I don't really understand... Arsé-kun: Watson: Let's start over. It's possible Holmes hasn't seen Carter yet, and it's possible he has. He doesn't need to tell me everything he finds. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Well, I should find House near there, then. Arsé-kun: Watson: It'd be most likely, yes. Sheepy: Grif: Good luck with Griffin. I'll head out to find House. Arsé-kun: Watson: Thank you. Do your best out there. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, so if Randy tells me nothing, I should dismember him... Sheepy: Grif: Truly... that is what I am best at. Arsé-kun: Watson: That is the exact opposite of helpful. Sheepy: Iris: You can leave all the detective work to Holmsies, Groffy! Arsé-kun: Griffin: *the bandages man finally speaks up* You're all so loud... Sheepy: Grif: I can silence the world for you. Forever... Arsé-kun: Watson: Please do not injure or kill any patients. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Alright. I won't. Sheepy: *Grif just drops Griffin* Arsé-kun: *One dull thud later, Griffin is on the floor.* Sheepy: Grif: I'll be back soon with House. Probably. Arsé-kun: Watson: Good luck. Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. *he heads out* Arsé-kun: *Okay, Grif, where are you going? Are you following the big quest marker, or your own instinct? That's a trick question, both lead to Randy's* Sheepy: *Grif heads to Randy's office.* Arsé-kun: *The lights are on. That is a good first sign* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... So that was a one time thing. Arsé-kun: *Enter? y/n* Sheepy: Grif: Randy. Are you busy? The answer to this question will not impact any following dialogue. It is just an act of politeness to ask. Arsé-kun: Randy: Is today nothing but people interrupting work? First Holmes, now you. Sheepy: Grif: House was here? Arsé-kun: Randy: You only missed him by a couple of minutes. Sheepy: Grif: Did he say where he was going next? Arsé-kun: Randy: He said... He was going to have a drink, and then suggested he'd be looking around locally. And then one other thing. Sheepy: Grif: One other thing? What is it? Arsé-kun: Randy: Something about a.... *he suddenly has a very uncharacteristic, devious grin on his face* Vibe check. Sheepy: *Something suddenly leaps out from Randy and jabs Grif through the chest before he has a chance to respond!* Arsé-kun: Randy: ...... Arsé-kun: *the thing's very appearance has seemingly caused something to happen to Randy, what with him now slumped down into his chair* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Sheepy: *Grif collapses to the ground, dead within seconds...* Sheepy: *Grif is frightened! Grif is injured! Grif is fatally wounded! Grif is dead! The party has fallen!* Arsé-kun: *It becomes eerily silent.... And the lights go out.* Sheepy: *Eventually, Grif wakes up on the cold, wet ground...* Arsé-kun: *It's dark, but not so dark that he can't see.* Sheepy: *Grif looks around.* Arsé-kun: *... He's outside. Off-path.* Sheepy: Grif:....! Sheepy: Grif: If I'm here... does that mean Raphael is here, too? Arsé-kun: *Paimon rolls out of Grif's bag and lights up. You have several missed calls.* Sheepy: Grif: *He picks Paimon up* Dad? You're here, too... Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* Of course! I have identified that grandfather was most definitely present at the time of your last death, despite being unseen and uninvolved. I'm sorry I could not forewarn you of the ambush. Sheepy: Grif: Uncle must have asked him to be there to blind you. Arsé-kun: Yog: Highly likely, given he's the one that killed you. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... I can't believe he managed to scare me. Sheepy: Grif: Is Raphael near by? He may be in danger. Same for House. Arsé-kun: Yog: I believe so, yes. And his name is Holmes. Sheepy: Grif: Comfort and safety is what makes a House a Holmes... Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, I don't trust him very much. Arsé-kun: Yog: .... He is innocent. Sheepy: Grif: That's not it. I know he is innocent here. Sheepy: Grif: He just reads me too well. Sheepy: Grif: *He starts looking for Raph* Yes... I don't like the way he looks at me. Arsé-kun: Yog: That means he is good at his job. Arsé-kun: *... Another light source is spotted!* Sheepy: *Grif rushes over to the source of light* Arsé-kun: *It turns out there's actually two in the same location! One is Shuu's cell phone. The other is Raphael's halo, being unsteadily held like a lantern by a drunken sailor* Sheepy: Grif: Raphael. I found you. Ah... What do I say here... Sheepy: Grif: You can't hide forever, Raphael. I'll always find you. Always... Arsé-kun: *Raph takes a step back and stumbles, falling onto his rear* Sheepy: Grif:...Yes, that's what I'm supposed to say when I rescue someone. Arsé-kun: Yog: No it isn't!! Sheepy: Grif: What? It isn't? Arsé-kun: Yog: That's only for intimidation! We've been over this. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif:....... Arsé-kun: Raph: ......... Sheepy: Grif: I've come for you. Are you ready? You won't get very far if you run, you know. Arsé-kun: Raph: Cut'hat out!! Sheepy: Grif: We're going back to the hospital. Sheepy: Grif: Watson was worrying about you, you know. Arsé-kun: Raph: I ain't think I'm 'n any contition to work righ'now... Tell Watsy I might be a bi'tipsy. Sheepy: Shuu: Can you just go home already? I've been waiting out here for a few hours now for you to just wake up, you lazy bum. ... Hehe ⭐️ Did you enjoy your journeys through the dream galaxy? You really should hire a guide like me. Silly angel ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Raph blankly stares at Shuu. Processing's a bit slow, give him a moment* Arsé-kun: Raph: How'd you know about th..... A few hours?! Sheepy: Shuu: I've got other knocked out people to watch over. What makes you think you're so special that you deserve a few hours of my time, huh? You think everything's about you, don't you?... Hehe ⭐️Don't you know? They call me the lovely ⭐️ sparkling ⭐️ Dream Prince for a reason... did you enjoy your journey? I hope so... ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Why don't you just go home already? You like sleeping on the ground? Are you some sort of camping lover? Disgusting. You make me sick. ... Hehe ⭐️ Just kidding ⭐️ I have to spare some of my insults for the others, so don't feel so sad about not receiving all of them, okay? Arsé-kun: Raph: Why, you.... Why don'tcha.... *he's got a comeback, but the words aren't coming. he gives up.* Who else..? Sheepy: Shuu: If you go and get yourself knocked out again, I'll dish out new insults towards you, okay? So come back soon ⭐️ Clumsy angel ⭐️ But... Just this once, I'll help you, okay? Because I like you. Hehe. Arsé-kun: Raph: .... Bud, I'd luv t' play along, bu'I got no concep' of thinkin' straight righ'now. Sheepy: Shuu: You never do think straight ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Raph: .......... ......... You right. Sheepy: Shuu: However... As I said, I will help, because I don't want anyone to die here. That's no fun. Arsé-kun: Raph: So let Grof take whoev'else is here? Sheepy: Shuu: Let's see.. An hour or two ago, that obnoxious detective was dumped off here. I could have moved him closer to you to keep an eye on both of you, but I realized that I like you much more by far and decided to just leave him there. Sheepy: Grif: House is here? Arsé-kun: Raph: .... ooooh, Johnny's gonna be maa~aaad... Sheepy: Shuu: Hehe ⭐️Watson wouldn't get mad at me. After all, I'm a poor, defenseless Dream Prince lost in the darkness... Arsé-kun: Raph: Not at you, dummy.. Sheepy: Shuu: But I'm sure if he works his brain hard enough, he'll figure out the true culprit. ... Well, that's not that hard of a question to solve, is it? Sheepy: Shuu: Anyway, I'll lead you back while Grif leads back the other ones. Okay? Arsé-kun: Raph: Yes, please... Sheepy: Shuu: *He hops over to Raph and takes his hand before pointing with his other hand* You'll find the others over there, okay? Have fun ⭐️ Sheepy: Grif:...Thanks. *He heads off in the direction Shuu pointed* Sheepy: *Shuu leads Raphael back.* Arsé-kun: *Raph is, as you've probably noticed by now, absolutely drunk. How this happened has not been clarified, but it explains why he needs the help getting back to begin with. He appreciates the help though.* Sheepy: Shuu: Here we are ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Raph: What a good guide you are... I'd hire you if I could. Sheepy: Shuu: I'm even better with dreams ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Raph: I bet! Arsé-kun: *They enter. Watson is pacing in front of the front desk, looking worried. He only stops when he sees Raph and Shuu* Arsé-kun: Watson: This is.. Not what I expected. Care to fill me in? Arsé-kun: Raph: I, uh. I mighta been drinking with Randy bu' I'unno how anythin' else happened... Arsé-kun: Raph: 'pparently your husband got knocked the fuck out before Grif did... Arsé-kun: Watson: W H A T. Sheepy: Shuu: Hehe ⭐️ Don’t worry, Watson. I watched over him closely… ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Just this once, I’ll help, because you’re precious to me. Hehe ⭐️ You, and Raphael… ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, just so you know, Raphael, I took a quick break from watching you to keep up appearances at the delinquents club. Thank you for not dying while I wasn’t looking, okay? ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: Let’s see…. Nyarlathotep is knocking out anyone who enters Carter’s office and then dumping them off the path. That’s a satisfactory answer, isn’t it? Grif is collecting together all the victims right now ⭐️ I think Nyarly was willing to let them just die out there, but I thought it’d be more fun if they lived. Arsé-kun: Watson: .... ........ Arsé-kun: Raph: Makes'ense, fine wit' me! But damn, why we not know 'bout this before? Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't... Don't answer that. Sheepy: Shuu: You never asked, so why would I tell you? You think I can read minds or something? Maybe try using your ⭐️ eyes and ears some and you'd notice people were going missing. ... Hehe ⭐️ It's okay, I know you're doing your best ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Raph: T_T Sheepy: Shuu: People can only do so much... and this area isn't your expertise ⭐️ It's okay, I understand ⭐️ Arsé-kun: Watson: Ah! *he hurries over to Grif, to take Holmes from him* Sheepy: Holmes: .....? Watson...? *He seems groggy...* Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes, it's me. Talk later. Let's make sure you and everyone else are okay first. Sheepy: Holmes: .........*he grimaces* Ugh, my head... ... I couldn't text you, sorry... ...But you didn't either. Arsé-kun: Watson: What? I had a whole conversation with you.... Or I thought it was you. Now stop speaking. Sheepy: Holmes:........ Sheepy: Shuu: Oh? Don't you know? It's Nyarlathotep's talent to imitate others. Arsé-kun: Watson: I wish I didn't. Now I'll doubt every message I get. Sheepy: Shuu: Hehe ⭐️ You don't need to doubt me ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu:....Just kidding, let's be careful in the future, okay? Trust, but verify ⭐️ Arsé-kun: *raph having wandered off to mope.png* Sheepy: *Holmes is moping, too, but he can't wander off because he's with Watson* Sheepy: Iris: Oh! Raphy! You're back! I was really worried about you, you know! *she pouts a bit before giving him a hug* Don't run off again without saying anything, okay? You gave us all a real scare! Arsé-kun: Raph: Eh? I said where I was goin'... I just sure didn't make it. Sheepy: Iris: ...? Arsé-kun: *Romani staring at all this in the background, looking overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things happening here at once. It isn't much to anyone else, he's just not used to it yet* Arsé-kun: Raph: I said I was goin' to Randy's. I... Was there for a bit, at least.. Sheepy: Iris: Groffy mentioned that his brother was attacked there, too. Arsé-kun: Romani: I'm not sure what's happening here, but shouldn't we open the nearest waiting room and do our jobs?? Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I have already mostly recovered from being stabbed through the chest. Arsé-kun: Romani: you w h a t Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm? Oh, I got murdered earlier. By Uncle. He was possessing Randy and gave me a real scare when he popped out. Arsé-kun: *romani now looks even more confused. help this mans* Arsé-kun: Watson: .. Okay, enough, let's get moving. If you need assistance, do not hesitate to say so. Arsé-kun: Watson: Griflet, please wait a few minutes before you commit violence. Sheepy: Grif: I can wait. Sheepy: *Holmes leans on Watson some. This translates to, 'yes, I need assistance'." Arsé-kun: *Watson gladly assists Holmes. I mean, he's not glad, shut up, you know what I mean* Sheepy: *Holmes is mumbling incoherent nonsense the whole time. Nobody will tell him to shut up* Arsé-kun: *Raph responds in a similar fashion and gives Holmes a fingergun. Whatever Holmes said, he agrees* Arsé-kun: *... After a few minutes, Watson comes back out to speak with Griflet. He's grumpy* Arsé-kun: Watson: Take your sword out. I'm going to do you a favor in return for finding Sherlock. Sheepy: Grif: *He pulls out his sword* Sheepy: Grif: I didn't find him. The foxy man did. I just happened to have my body dumped near by. Arsé-kun: Watson: Yes, but he isn't doing combat, so this is useless for him. Arsé-kun: *Watson puts his hands on Grif's sword and concentrates. One skill check later, Grif's sword starts to heat up to frankly absurd levels!* Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: Amazing... This should assist me in destroying Uncle. Arsé-kun: Watson: Keep it sheathed when not in use. It'll cool faster when it's out. Sheepy: *Grif sheathes it* Sheepy: Grif: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Watson: No problem. Give your uncle hell for me. Figuratively. Sheepy: Grif: Right. I will. *He heads out!* Arsé-kun: Yog: ... He is still at Randolph's office. Are you ready? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Yog: Grandfather is still there, as is... Ah, he knows we're coming. Hastur is there as well, but I believe there will only be one combatant. Sheepy: Grif: I wonder how he knows... Sheepy: *Grif heads to Randy's office once more.* Arsé-kun: *N!Randy is waiting for him. He's sitting on the desk- A very-unRandy behavior. No point faking it more than you need to, ey, Nyar?* Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Welcome back! Are you ready for a second loss today? I am! Sheepy: Grif: Overconfidence will be your downfall. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: That's funny! I could have sworn that I'm winning! Sheepy: Grif: Now that it's my quest to destroy you, I will pursue you unto the very edges of the Earth. Not even death will stop me from ending your miserable existence, even momentarily. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Aw, don't be so harsh! You wouldn't want to hurt dear old Randolph, would you? Sheepy: Grif:...... Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Attacking my second favorite human in his own office? Have you no shame? Sheepy: Grif: The quest doesn't mention what I should do with Randy... Arsé-kun: *Quest updated! [Quest: R.I.P. and Tear! Defeat Nyarlathotep however you can! Carter's survival is a bonus.]* Sheepy: Grif: It says his survival is optional. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: ....... Arsé-kun: N!Randy: You wouldn't! Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: Why not? Arsé-kun: N!Randy: That's your boss and your dad's friend! You wouldn't hurt him! Arsé-kun: N!Randy: You would lose your job! You'd be kicked out! Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: But wouldn't it be your fault? Sheepy: Grif: After all, you're the one who put him in the situation. Sheepy: Grif: The guilt would be yours and yours alone. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Nope! See! *he pulls out a handwritten contract. It's in both english and r'ylehian* It says here that I have Randy's permission to be here! Arsé-kun: N!Randy: It clearly states that I, Nyarlathotep, am permitted to act as the primary consciousness as long as I do the work I accepted with it! And I have! I've done more paperwork this week than he's done all month! I should get a raise! Sheepy: Grif: That isn't my problem. Randy told me to protect the campus. He never said I couldn't kill him. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: I say you can't kill him! I won't let you! Sheepy: Grif: Okay. Then get out of him and stop attacking people. Arsé-kun: *He's been angered. His offensive stats have skyrocketed.* Arsé-kun: *N!Randy is too mad to respond.* Sheepy: Grif: By being inside of him when you start a fight with me, you are endangering him. It is your fault if he gets injured. Sheepy: Grif: I am perfectly willing to wait until you stop being a coward and hiding in your shell like a hermit crab. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Oh, no! I'm not letting you outsmart me! If you want me out so bad, do it yourself! Sheepy: Grif: Okay. If that's the case, I'll just pull you out myself. Sheepy: Grif: The rules say that littering outside is wrong. I would never litter outside. There are no rules about inside. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: You better not! I have to clean all that up! Sheepy: *Grif pulls sand out of his pocket and throws it around. The carpet is now sandy. Gross.* Arsé-kun: N!Randy: You're the worst! *he sounds stressed* Now I have to clean that up too?! Is there anything you won't do, you monster? Sheepy: Grif:...Monster...? Hmhmhm... Let's see. Ah, I finished this earlier... *He pulls out an empty wrapper* I was going to toss this earlier, but I kept it on me until then. Sheepy: Grif: *He approaches the trash can, keeping his eye on Nyar, before dropping it... right next to the trash can. Not in it* Sheepy: Grif: How unfortunate. Arsé-kun: *Grif is very immediately slapped with a tentacle from N!Randy's back. He's very unhappy* Sheepy: Grif: Khh! ... Hahahahah... Ah, you know, I came across something earlier, Uncle. Sheepy: Grif: *He pulls out a colored cube. It's a Rubik's cube! It's unsolved* A gift. For you! Arsé-kun: N!Randy: ..... ........... Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Give me that. Sheepy: Grif: Not until you get out of Randy. Arsé-kun: N!Randy: What, you can't do it now? Sheepy: Grif: It's not a gift for Randy. Arsé-kun: Hastur: Boooooo! Where's the climatic fight scene? This improv sucks! Sheepy: Grif: Uncle, look. He wants Randy dead. Arsé-kun: Hastur: So what? Everyone is gonna die no matter what! Sheepy: *Grif and Nyar turn to face Hastur similarly to how Trip and his wife do in Façade when you say something they don't like.* Arsé-kun: Hastur: ... ... ... Just get on with the damn show! Sheepy: Grif: If you don't like it, you can write a better ending. Sheepy: Grif:...Anyway, I guess I can give it to you, just this once. Sheepy: *Grif gives Nyar!Randy the cube.* Arsé-kun: N!Randy: Gimme that! Thank you, have a horrible day! *he gleefully turns around to solve it* Sheepy: *With Nyar!Randy's back now exposed, Grif grabs onto the tentacle and pulls as hard as he can!* Arsé-kun: *With a VERY uncomfortable sound somewhere between a POP and a SQUELCH, Nyar is pulled out! .. Which he wanted!* Sheepy: *Nyar goes for the easy kill, but Grif is faster and stabs him with his very hot sword!* Arsé-kun: *Randolph, having been unconscious this entire time, silently collapses behind all this. No damage taken.* Sheepy: Nyar: Geez, that's hot! Back up, back up! Nobody said you could use that! Arsé-kun: *Hastur is herding cats away from the fight scene and plopping them on a certain fox's lap. Cat given. Cat given. Cat given* Sheepy: *Shuu seems pleased by this! Maybe hiding beneath his rude personality, he actually likes cute things?* Sheepy: Grif: Dad, is it really against the rules to stab him with this? Arsé-kun: Yog: Certainly not. He's just bitter you came with a buff. Arsé-kun: *Nyar is promptly stabbed again with the hellfire-hot sword.* Sheepy: Nyar: Hot-hot-HOT!! Sheepy: Nyar: Alright, that's it! You've ticked me off! Just fall and perish right now! Don't pass go or collect $200! Sheepy: *Nyar goes for Grif's left shoulder!* Sheepy: *Nyar's tendril goes through Grif's left shoulder! Swinging his sword will be more difficult now!* Sheepy: Grif: ...! Ghh! Sheepy: *Grif passes his sword to his other hand.* Arsé-kun: *Hastur starts looking around warily. He seems to have noticed something.* Sheepy: Nyar: Ahahahaha! Try stabbing me like that, kid! Sheepy: *Grif stabs him like that.* Sheepy: Nyar: HEY!! Arsé-kun: *Hastur cackles* Sheepy: Nyar: Don't laugh at me! Man, this day stinks...! This week stinks! Arsé-kun: Hastur: It's going to get worse, don't you worry! Sheepy: Nyar:...What? Arsé-kun: Hastur: It always does! *Hastur starts picking up the cats and also Shuu. There's something going on here and it's sus* Sheepy: Nyar:...?? Arsé-kun: Hastur: Don't mind me! Keep your eyes on the prize! Sheepy: *Grif stabs Nyar again.* Sheepy: Nyar: Owowowow...! I'm TRYING to have a CONVERSATION HERE! Sheepy: Grif: Have a conversation later. Arsé-kun: Hastur: Performers should only focus on their performance, not the audience! Sheepy: Nyar: The audience isn't supposed to pack up and leave before the performance is over! Arsé-kun: Hastur: Let me explain this in a specific way. You know the great Shan play, yes? Sheepy: Nyar: Yes? Arsé-kun: Hastur: The third act is next. Do with this what you will. I'm getting a new seat. Sheepy: Nyar:...?! Shoot, I gotta protect Randy...! Arsé-kun: *Yog personally appears, coming out of Grif's bag, looking extremely distressed.* Arsé-kun: Yog: Griflet. We need to leave. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Yog: Now. Sheepy: Grif: *He pulls his sword out of Nyar before heeding Yog's words and rushing to leave!* Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, before you go, take this! *He tosses Randy to Grif, who catches him* Arsé-kun: Yog: You know my intentions. Good to know, Uncle. Sheepy: Nyar: I don't care about your intentions. Sheepy: *Grif exits with Randy* Arsé-kun: Yog: You're staying put. I call a truce until the matter is settled. Sheepy: Nyar:...Ugh, if we have to work with each other, I guess we will! Arsé-kun: Yog: It disgusts me too. Don't worry. But not as much as this. Sheepy: Nyar: What a pain! Arsé-kun: Yog: Something will be done to prevent this one day. Today may not be it, but we can try. Sheepy: Nyar:...Yeah, yeah, sure, I guess so. Sheepy: Nyar: For now, let's just do the best that we can. Arsé-kun: Yog: You start. I'll call for backup. Sheepy: *Meanwhile, Grif has brought Randy to the hospital!* Arsé-kun: *Correct response. Good work, Grif.* Sheepy: Grif: I'm back. Arsé-kun: *Raph looks up from his coffee mug at the front desk* Arsé-kun: Raph: You did it! Good job, bud! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Please look at Randy. Sheepy: Grif: He should be unscathed, but Uncle was possessing him for a while. Sheepy: Grif:...Ah. That's right. I'd forgotten. My shoulder is injured, too, but I don't need treatment. I should heal on my own. Arsé-kun: Raph: Both of those are concerning, and you're bleeding out. I'll heal you as soon as Carter is dealt with. Sheepy: Grif: I'm good at bleeding. Sheepy: Grif: If you give me a while, I can bleed out every drop of blood. Sheepy: Shuu:.......... Blood is supposed to stay in the body ⭐️ Sheepy: Shuu: If you're good and let the doctor treat you, I'll give you my special ⭐️ dreamy ⭐️ bandaid, perfect for scaring away even the most nightmarish germs... Hehe ⭐️ Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I bet bandaids are tasty... Arsé-kun: Raph: ........... *he just heals Grif now instead, so he can then take Randy and leave the room to not hear that again* Sheepy: Iris: Oh! You brought Andy! Arsé-kun: Raph: Grif got him for us, yep. As far as I can tell from a cursory glance, he's just sleeping.. But he was possessed, so we should probably keep an eye on him anyway. Sheepy: Iris: Possessed...? Oh, no! Poor Andy... Sheepy: Iris: He works so hard for all of us... Why would anyone go out of their way to harm him? Sheepy: Iris:...Oh, but I guess that the culprit is Nyarly. Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, probably. Sheepy: Iris: I guess we'll only know how he feels when he wakes up... Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah... Sheepy: Holmes: Obviously, only Randy can know the truth. ...However. I observed a few fascinating things before I was... Let's see. ... Removed from the situation. Arsé-kun: Raph: Yeah... I don't remember as much as you probably do. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha. Let me guess... You didn't notice there was something wrong with the drink? Arsé-kun: Raph: No. I saw him open it, so I thought it was just like that. Sheepy: Holmes: How lucky you are. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha... Now that I'm up, I'm ready to have some fun! Are you ready to join my theater of logic and deduction? I don't mind any comments from the gallery! Sheepy: Iris: Just tell us what you know and sit down! You really shouldn't be running about. Arsé-kun: Raph: Relax, Iris. If he knows something we need, I'd like to hear it first. Arsé-kun: Raph: Just, can you do it sitting down? Sheepy: Holmes: Sitting down? Ah, you think of me as one of those armchair detectives, do you? Isn't that really depressing? Arsé-kun: Raph: Detective or not, you still got bashed over the head. If you have an aneurysm sitting down, you won't hit your head and make it worse. Sheepy: Holmes: No, I think better on my feet! Or crawling around on a crime scene... Or climbing about on a crime scene... Sheepy: Holmes: Anyway, let's begin! First off, Randolph's office was extremely tidy. Normally, it's messy, and he doesn't have the time to clean it up. The natural conclusion would be that Nyarlathotep cleaned it up for him. However, there's another thing. The sheer amount of finished paperwork, all organized in a way easy to sort through. Nyarlathotep has been missing for the past few days, and anyone who visited Randolph's office in this period would go missing. Furthermore, Randolph has not been seen out of his office causing the kind of chaos associated with Nyarlathotep. Meaning... Sheepy: Holmes: Nyarlathotep probably possessed him with the explicit purpose of assisting him in the buildup of paperwork and the growing mess in his office. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'd believe that, honestly. Arsé-kun: Raph: ... So can I go put him down yet? Sheepy: Holmes: Despite the tidiness associated with Nyarlathotep, Randolph clearly has a piece of paper in his pants pocket... Arsé-kun: Raph: ... Huh! Grab that for me, will you? Sheepy: *...Holmes has been pacing back and forth this entire time. It seems he's totally forgotten about Raph... He does, however, go over to Randolph and retrieves the paper.* Sheepy: Holmes: It's a contract between Randolph and Nyarlathotep. It seems they agreed to the possession, so long as Nyarlathotep would do the paperwork and not let anyone interrupt him. Furthermore, he's banned from killing anyone using Randy's body. Arsé-kun: Raph: .... So that's why he attacked us, probably. Sheepy: Holmes: It says that the allowed time is two days... But it's been longer, hasn't it? Arsé-kun: Raph: Probably. Okay, hold your thoughts until I get back, I wanna actually put the poor man down. Sheepy: Holmes: Go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Raph leaves the scene with Randy* Sheepy: Holmes: Is paperwork... Really so fun? I wonder... Maybe he can do mine, too... Arsé-kun: Watson: *distantly* absolutely not Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha! Watson! As you can see, I'm doing perfectly-- *He has a dizzy spell and lands on his butt. Oof.* Arsé-kun: Watson: Doing a perfect demonstration of sitting down after getting beaten up. Sheepy: Holmes: It'll take more than a blow to the head to stop me. Arsé-kun: Watson: Ah. So two. Sheepy: Holmes: Let's see... In my mind... Arsé-kun: Watson: Don't make me straitjacket you like our local psychotic. Sheepy: Holmes:....Maybe a really long fall from a waterfall, only to land in the cold, deadly waters below... Sheepy: Holmes: Ah! I know what you could call it in your stories! Arsé-kun: Watson: ..... *Watson leaves* Sheepy: Holmes: The Final Problem! ... Watson? Where are you going? Arsé-kun: Watson: I'm working! Iris, come help me. He's going to continue this anyway. Sheepy: Iris: Okay, Daddy, I'm coming! Holmsies, make sure to find a better place to sit, okay? Like a chair! *She rushes off to join Watson* Arsé-kun: Raph: ... That's rough, buddy. Sheepy: Holmes: ...Everyone thinks I'm at my best when sitting.... *He decides to just lie on his back on the floor* Maybe they should just find a better detective who can do that. Hmmm... Ah, I'm such a useless detective... Arsé-kun: Raph: Aw, don't be mopey. They just care about your health. Sheepy: Holmes: Everyone cares about my physical health but not my mental health. Arsé-kun: Raph: Concussions are both. Sheepy: Holmes: ......... Sheepy: Holmes:............. Arsé-kun: Raph: At least don't take up the entire hallway. What if I wanna sit down and mope too? Inconsiderate. *he's half joking* Sheepy: Holmes: It's a beautiful day to die, isn't it? Arsé-kun: Raph: Aw, you're not gonna be that lucky. Arsé-kun: *Raph sits down right there in the hall next to him and proceeds to be Sulky* Sheepy: Holmes: Maybe Griffin will appear with a knife and do us in. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'd personally rather just get murdered with something unexpected, like a metal chair. Sheepy: Holmes: But if I die, I guess Watson can't profit off of me messing around and throwing around a few deductions... Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm pretty sure he'd be upset from more than just the lost profit. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, I've got one. Sheepy: Holmes: "The Adventure of the Empty House". He can write about how empty the house is after all of my paperwork disappears. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's depressing. Sheepy: Holmes: Maybe Nyarlathotep would even help him with it. Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't give him ideas. Sheepy: Holmes: I think the last Sherlock Holmes story could be very fascinating if we think hard on it. Arsé-kun: Raph: Sherlock Holmes and the case of Holy Shit is that Cthulhu Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, I don't want to die to a squid. Arsé-kun: Raph: Eh, he's a pussy. Hit him with a boat. Sheepy: Holmes: I think I want my final scene to be fighting a great criminal by a waterfall, embracing my fears of heights... Only to fall and pull down the criminal with me, slowly plunging into the depths... and then darkness. Sheepy: Holmes: Am I much different than the criminal in my final moments? Arsé-kun: Raph: Hmmm. I'm more concerned about the running waterfall theme again. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, yes, I was told I fell from one as an excuse as to how I got amnesia. Arsé-kun: Raph: Can you maybe stop bringing up the thing that traumatized you to begin with? I'm trying to sulk about being unhelpful. Sheepy: Holmes: Do you think that in such a situation, the criminal and I would feel hatred for one another for putting us into that situation? Arsé-kun: Raph: I think you'd both feel pretty stupid for even taking it that far when you could have just punched him in the dick. Sheepy: Holmes: You'd fill your thoughts with regrets in your final moments? Sheepy: Holmes:......... Sheepy: Holmes: You're incredibly depressing. Arsé-kun: Raph: To be fair, I'd probably not go that far at all. I'm here to help people, not kill. Sheepy: Holmes: A detective isn't so different from a criminal. Arsé-kun: Raph: Are you committing illegal crimes and profiting on them? Are you actually some kind of mastermind? Sheepy: Holmes: I could. Arsé-kun: Raph: If you ever become evil, I'll join you. Sheepy: Holmes: Similarly, a criminal could use his experiences to solve cases. Arsé-kun: Raph: With that logic, a doctor and a serial killer aren't very different either. Sheepy: Holmes: That's not true. Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh? Why not? Sheepy: Holmes: A serial killer doesn't require medical knowledge to kill others. Arsé-kun: Raph: They do if they're the kind that do the weird body horror stuff. Sheepy: Holmes: A great criminal requires knowledge of committing crimes to do his job. Arsé-kun: Raph: Would a doctor and a torturer be a better example? Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose. Arsé-kun: Raph: Huh. Sheepy: Holmes: However... Consider the following. Sheepy: Holmes: A petty criminal couldn't be a good detective using only the knowledge they gained from their job. A newbie detective couldn't use their knowledge of crimes to commit ones of their own. Sheepy: Holmes: So it's just as much about how much experience they have as what it's in, I think. Arsé-kun: Raph: That makes sense! Sheepy: Holmes: Anyway, Lupin wouod be a great detective... Moriarty, too. Arsé-kun: Romani: *wjat* Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, if I get thrown off a waterfall, they could take my job. That's how Watson can continue to profit. Sheepy: Holmes: No, just Lupin. I think I'd want the professor to throw me off of one. Arsé-kun: Raph: I'm sure he'd want to also. Sheepy: Holmes: We really are so close! Arsé-kun: Raph: It's a sign of good friendship when you want to dunk your friend into a pool and both of you enjoy it. I don't know what you have said would be called. Sheepy: Holmes: We're great rivals! Ah, and close friends, I'd like to think. Sheepy: Holmes: Lupin, too... But Lupin would never throw me off a waterfall. Arsé-kun: Romani: Uhm. Arsé-kun: Romani: May I get through?? I didn't wanna interrupt.. Sheepy: Holmes: You can walk all over me. Everyone else does. Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't do that. Arsé-kun: Romani: Sorry again! *he steps around Holmes the best he can* Sheepy: Holmes: No need to apologize to me. Nobody else does. Arsé-kun: Raph: ... We're gonna be here a while. Sheepy: Holmes: Why stay with someone like me when you can be with someome fun? Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh, you know. Having fun with the conversation. Also being mopey. Therapy. Sheepy: Holmes: Therapy? I'm not a therapist. Sheepy: Holmes: I don't know any... ... Oh, yes, I have vague memories of one around when I first fell. Nosy fellow. He made me nervous. I didn't like him. Arsé-kun: Raph: It really can come off that way if you're not willing to share. He probably should have let you open up on your own schedule. Arsé-kun: *very distant sound of a menu pop-up. griflet is still inside the building* Sheepy: Holmes: Well, it's not as though I need one anymore. Arsé-kun: Raphael: Even if you don't need it, it's still good to check in once in a while. Sheepy: Holmes: Hmmm... I'm not interested in that. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's too bad. We already started. Sheepy: Holmes: What? Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, you're already telling me all of this. Even just unloading how you feel is therapeutic. Sheepy: Holmes: Hahahaha... Maybe I got too comfortable? Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't worry about it. No one else is listening, and I can't share this info. Sheepy: Holmes: I see.... Arsé-kun: Raph: Though... Sheepy: Holmes: Yes? Arsé-kun: Raph: ... He's not here. Do you wanna go rearrange Watson's textbooks as a prank? Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha! Sounds fun! Arsé-kun: Raph: Don't tell him we did it. See how long it takes him to notice. Sheepy: Holmes: I won't. Arsé-kun: *Dr. Romani "Wot" V2.0 in the bg* Sheepy: *Holmes finally gets up!* Arsé-kun: *Raph also gets up, brushing off his coat* Sheepy: Holmes: I'm looking forward to see how observant he is. Sheepy: Holmes: Anyway, let's go! Arsé-kun: Raph: Lets! Sheepy: Holmes: *He rushes to find the textbooks! No running in the halls, Holmes.* Arsé-kun: *Raph just strolls after him. No rush.* Sheepy: *Grif, meanwhile, is waiting for Romani's return* Arsé-kun: *And return he does, wielding holla holla get dollas* Arsé-kun: Romani: Sorry for the wait! People decided sitting in the hallway was a cool thing to do! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Is that so... I should try it sometime... Arsé-kun: Romani: Please don't! You get in the way and it's a tripping hazard! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Romani: Anyway, here's the money I owe you! Arsé-kun: *Grif is given twenty dollars ($20)! Put it away! No pop-up because Yog is preoccupied.* Sheepy: Grif:...Thanks. *He puts it away* Arsé-kun: Romani: You did a lot today, too! If nothing else happens, take some time off! You deserve it! ^^ Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Yes. I'll think about it. Sheepy: Grif: Thanks. Good luck. *he heads out!* Arsé-kun: *where you gonna go, grif? you got money!* Sheepy: *Grif heads to the coffee shop.* Arsé-kun: Duncan: Grif! Hiii! Sheepy: Grif: Hello. How is Wil? Arsé-kun: Duncan: He's doin' okay! He's upstairs if you wanna see him! Sheepy: Grif: Great. I'll go check on him. I have news for him. *He walks upstairs to see Wilbur* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *reading over Misyr's shoulder, meanwhile* Sheepy: Misyr: Lupin's a cheater, just like me, but he justifies it because his actions lead to positive results for others. Sheepy: Misyr: I don't really care about results. It's more fun to just snap my fingers and see what blows up! Ahahahaha! That's the Demon Lord way! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can you justify still reading when I'm here waiting, Grampa? Sheepy: Misyr: Of course. I went back to some previous stories I've read to figure out why Il is so attached to Lupin. Have you seen his Lupin shrine? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No? Do I want to? Sheepy: Misyr: It's full of merch of Lupin and some girl. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gamer shrine... Sheepy: Misyr: I don't understand the point. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me neither! So are you gonna teach me somethin' today, or? Sheepy: Misyr: Uhhh... What do I wanna teach... A lot of what I know isn't something a wizard can do. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Blow stuff up? Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, but my abilities aren't really something you can learn! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Awww! Do I have to take a school trip to Hell to learn demon magic? Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, great idea! We could do just that! Sheepy: Misyr: I have something I want to check there anyway. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait. Now?! Sheepy: Misyr: Why not? Sheepy: Misyr: As a Demon Lord, I can get there easily. Sheepy: Misyr: Although... Sorry to disappoint... Sheepy: Misyr: Some of what I do is just innately me! Nobody else can do it alone! As long as I understand a concept, I can use it to my advantage and twist it so I can cheat! Ahahahaha! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I haven't even done research yet! I don't know what I'd need to bring! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What would I tell Bedi?? "Babe, I'm going to hell for a field trip!"? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And I use magic, but I don't wanna go if I'll just blow myself up.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gosh... But it's Hell.. Sheepy: Misyr: Up to you! Sheepy: Misyr: Personally, I don't tell anyone when I disappear for a bit. Too intrusive. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But I like people knowing if I'm okay... It's nice knowing people care. Sheepy: Misyr: Care...? Sheepy: Misyr:........ Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, I'm here! Sheepy: Misyr: Ahaha... But do you care just for the Misyr you see? Or the Misyr hiding beneath him as well? Are the feelings real if it's the former, I wonder. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grampa, why are you so difficult? Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha! It's fun, after all! Sheepy: Misyr: Anyway, I'm just messing with you. What you see is what you get with me! Arsé-kun: Merlin: At this point, I don't really care if the inside matches the outside. Why should that matter? You're Grampa. Sheepy: Misyr: Mmm.. I don't really get it, but okay, sure! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's the best part! You don't have to! Sheepy: Misyr: You've got bad taste, but I can't complain! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I do not! Sheepy: Misyr: Okay, whatever you say! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, so what's blowing something up feel like? Is it like... Really concentrated and then kaboom? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Or does your cool special magic do that part for you? Sheepy: Misyr: I kinda just aim it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, so it is a little different! Okay, that makes sense. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So it's more just "Hey that dies now" than anything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cool. Maybe one day I'll be so good at magic I won't even need to do most of the work! Sheepy: Misyr: Why would I do it properly if I could cheat? That's the Demon Lord way! Arsé-kun: Watson: Telling lies again, Misyr? Sheepy: Misyr: You know me! I'm the lying Demon King! Arsé-kun: Watson: One of these days you'll actually go to Hell, and then what? Sheepy: Misyr: Hmmm? I have before. Arsé-kun: Watson: Oh? Sheepy: Misyr: Every day, in fact! That's my job, you know! Sheepy: Misyr: I mean, where else would a demon king live...? Arsé-kun: Watson: Wherever he wants. Sheepy: Misyr:....... Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha, you still think I'm not a demon? Arsé-kun: Watson: I don't. I've seen demons. You look more like an imitator. Sheepy: Misyr:........ Sheepy: Misyr: I was born like this... Arsé-kun: Watson: Hm. Sheepy: Misyr: So maybe not every demon you've seen makes up how all demons look! Arsé-kun: Watson: I could be wrong on that front. I'll retract that statement. Sheepy: Misyr: I just get rid of them when I want to wear human clothing. Sheepy: Misyr: They'd get in the way! Arsé-kun: Watson: .... Fine. But I still don't think you're actually from Hell. That part I'm not giving up on. Sheepy: Misyr: Aren't all demons from there? Arsé-kun: Watson: Wouldn't you like to know? Sheepy: Misyr: Yeah, that's why I asked! Arsé-kun: Watson: Sometimes. Sheepy: Misyr:.... Eh? Arsé-kun: Watson: Would you believe me if I told you some of those were angels once? Sheepy: Holmes: *in the background* He feels like the angels I met earlier. But simultaneously, he feels like my friend who possessed me the other day... Azathoth? Those are really contradictory, aren't they? Sheepy: Misyr: Eh? Sheepy: Misyr: Angels become demons? Sheepy: Misyr:...... Arsé-kun: Watson: Sometimes, yes. Arsé-kun: Raphael: *also in the background* Not really! "Be not afraid" and all that! Sheepy: Holmes: So, do you think he's an angel? He's too nice to be a demon, isn't he? Sheepy: Misyr: I wonder how that works. Arsé-kun: Raph: I have no idea! I can't tell! Arsé-kun: Watson: .... I don't know if it works that way. Sheepy: Misyr: I bet it does! Arsé-kun: Duncan: *to holmes and raph* I think he's an octodad! Sheepy: Holmes: He doesn't seem like father material to me. Arsé-kun: Raph: Well, he IS the 6th Merlin, so he had to continue the line somehow.. Sheepy: Holmes:..... Sheepy: Holmes: Ehhh... Not well? Arsé-kun: Raph: I can see how. Even if he's unrelated to Hell otherwise, I think he's hella cute enough to pull it off. Sheepy: Misyr: *he appears a little flustered... he apparently heard that* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...? Sheepy: Misyr: Nothing, of course! Sheepy: Holmes: But cuteness doesn't make you dad material, does it? Sheepy: Holmes: Maybe Iris would see me as more dad-like if I worked on my cuteness factor...? Arsé-kun: Raph: It helps in the "getting a wife" part, probably! ... I mean, it does and I know it can. Sheepy: Holmes: I see... I've really misjudged the importance of cuteness... Arsé-kun: Raph: Appearance means a lot, but it isn't always the key feature. Sheepy: Holmes: I think the inside is more important. Arsé-kun: Raph: It's different for everyone. Some people would agree with you. Sheepy: Holmes: I wonder which Watson finds more important... Arsé-kun: Watson: .... Why don't you just ask? Sheepy: Holmes: You can hear me? Arsé-kun: Watson: You're right there. I'm right here. Sheepy: Holmes:....... Arsé-kun: Raph: ....... Sheepy: Holmes: How awkward... You heard everything... Sheepy: Holmes:...Which do you find more important? Arsé-kun: Watson: Inside. Don't you dare take that to mean that I don't like how you look. Sheepy: Holmes: I wasn't going to. Arsé-kun: Watson: *teasingly* Watson doesn't like how I look. What a great day to commit dying on the floor. Sheepy: Holmes: I got over it earlier! I feel optimistic now. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll find another beautiful day to die! Sheepy: Holmes: Just not today. Arsé-kun: Watson: Glad to hear it! Sheepy: Holmes: After all, you're here! There's no reason to get depressed! Arsé-kun: *Watson liked that* Sheepy: Holmes: Anyway, I got it out of my system earlier. Arsé-kun: Watson: Good. I wasn't sure how long I'd have to drag you around for. Sheepy: Misyr: Hey, you mentioned angels turning into demons. Is that real? Arsé-kun: Watson: It is. Sheepy: Misyr: How do they turn back? Arsé-kun: Watson: They don't. Sheepy: Misyr:...They can't turn back? Arsé-kun: Watson: Not that I'm aware of. Raphael? Arsé-kun: Raphael: Ehh.... Only temporary changes. I don't think a long term one can very easily. Arsé-kun: Raph: It can be done! I just don't know how. Sheepy: Misyr: How long is long term? Arsé-kun: Raph: Uh.... At least a hundred years? Sheepy: Misyr: I guess that is a long time! Sheepy: Misyr: I never knew anything about this until now.. That's so scary to imagine. Sheepy: Misyr: Waking up in a body one day that isn't yours... Well, if that happened to me... Sheepy: Misyr: I think I'd probably hide away from everyone I knew so they couldn't see me, too. Arsé-kun: Raph: That's a common reaction. The fear is natural, after all. Sheepy: Misyr:.......Natural, huh.... Sheepy: Misyr: I wonder if thinking you're hideous would be a natural reaction, too. Arsé-kun: Raph: Absolutely. Sheepy: Misyr: After all, I am the handsome Demon Lord! If I became someone else entirely, I might come to hate the new me. Arsé-kun: Watson: Even if only small parts change. The mind is functional and definitely makes sense. Sheepy: Misyr: You say it like you know from experience! Arsé-kun: Watson: You could say that. After all, I do have. Hm. Well. Arsé-kun: *Watson reaches up his sleeve with his other hand and fiddles around with... Something, before pulling it back out.... With the rest of his arm.* Arsé-kun: Watson: First-hand experience. Sheepy: Misyr:...... Sheepy: Misyr: Humans have detachable limbs, hm... Arsé-kun: *Raph stifles his laughter into his hands. The word "stifles" is not actually even remotely accurate. But he's trying* Arsé-kun: Watson: Well, usually only once. This is a replacement. Sheepy: "holmes seems too lost in thought to notice the joke" Sheepy: Misyr: Amazing. Humans can replace their limbs! Sheepy: Holmes: *He seems too lost in thought to register Watson making a joke. Holmes, you missed it!* Arsé-kun: Watson: ... Sherlock, I said that just for you, and you do this to me? Sheepy: Holmes: My apologies. I was considering a few things from the conversation. Arsé-kun: Watson: ... *he sighs and just accepts how awful the next joke is* do you need a hand with that. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, no, I think I have it under control. Arsé-kun: Watson: ........................ Sheepy: Holmes:.................. Sheepy: Holmes:.....Ahahahahaha! *There it is! The Holmes laugh!* Arsé-kun: Watson: I'm so upset. I'm not making another hand pun for you. It costs me an arm and a leg to make these sorts of jokes for you. Arsé-kun: *Raph has also given up trying to stifle his laughter.* Sheepy: *Holmes is laughing harder! Good job, Watson!* Arsé-kun: Watson: I gotta hand it to you. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahahaa.... Sheepy: Holmes:.............. Sheepy: Holmes: I think I'm fine without help... Just ignore me and continue your conversation. Arsé-kun: Watson: I can't. I need your help putting this back on. Arsé-kun: *Raphael recovers from his laughing fit, wiping tears from his eyes and trying not to start laughing again* Sheepy: Holmes: Ah, that’s right, I forgot. *He starts putting Watson’s prosthetic back onto him. He’s surprisingly gentle!* Sheepy: Misyr: … Oh. That’s right. Merlin brought a friend with him the other day with a silvery looking arm. With the patterns on it, I assumed it was just a gauntlet. A very, very long one. Sheepy: Misyr: Was that a replacement? Sheepy: Holmes: Gauntlets are a glove. You don’t wear them up to your shoulder. Arsé-kun: Watson: It was a replacement though, yes. Sheepy: Misyr: Hmm. I wonder if demons need them, too...? Arsé-kun: Watson: Sure, why not? They have limbs too, and sometimes those are lost. Sheepy: Misyr: Ahahaha, I guess so! Sheepy: Holmes: Replacing limbs... That feels familiar, but my memory of it is too hazy for me to remember... Sheepy: Holmes: I suppose it's just taking up too much space anyway, considering I can't really focus on it. I might as well just get rid of it. Sheepy: Holmes: I can't see it being useful. Arsé-kun: Watson: You never know. Sheepy: Holmes:........... Sheepy: Holmes: I have a gut feeling I can't get rid of it just yet... Arsé-kun: Watson: You're not a machine. I keep telling you this. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha! I can't let my mind palace become cluttered, you know! Sheepy: Misyr: Mind palace or not, personally I don't think it's a good idea, deleting your memories willy nilly. Although, if I had that sbility, I could get some use out of it! Arsé-kun: Raph: It never is a good idea. You never know if something trivial is why you're the way you are today. Sheepy: Holmes: I often totally forget about past cases because they don't interest me anymore. However... Sheepy: Holmes: I can read his stories and experience them like it's the first time seeing them. Incredible! Arsé-kun: *Watson just sighs* Sheepy: Holmes: Simultaneously, I'm generally not going to forget things I consider important... Arsé-kun: *Duncan is staring at everyone from behind the counter.* Sheepy: Misyr: Oh, shoot! The time! Arsé-kun: Raph: Oh! It's nine! We'd better get going! Sheepy: Misyr: I can't wait a minute longer to go back or my people will get worried! Arsé-kun: Duncan: We're closed! Get outta here please! I wanna play Minecwaft and go eat! I'm hungwy! Sheepy: Holmes: Ah... I'm still feeling energetic. Maybe I'll go bother someone... Arsé-kun: Duncan: Wil isn't here to be sudtle and threatning! Hi! I'm gonna eatcha if youse don't escape! Sheepy: Holmes:...Alright, I'll go. Arsé-kun: Watson: We should all be going now if we want to see tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look at all the hair I have! I'd be awful to eat! I don't even have any nutrients for you, bud! :D *but he does get up* See you tomorrow, Grampa! Sheepy: Holmes: *He leaves!* Arsé-kun: *Watson goes with him* Sheepy: *Misyr rushes to a near by closet and jumps in. So that's why that's there!* Arsé-kun: Raph: .....? *he curiously watches Misyr, and then slips into the same closet after a few moments of deliberation. If Raph's found dead in Miami, we know why.* Arsé-kun: *...And Merlin just teleports out. Classy* Arsé-kun: *Merlin gets home to... A very mysteriously cloudy floor? Who blew up a cotton candy machine and dumped orbs into.... Wait a minute* Sheepy: *Rest in peace, Yog* Arsé-kun: *Yog's just glad he gets to be with Grif right now. High priorities* Sheepy: *Grif is just chilling on the floor. Bedi has his feet up on a chair so he doesn't touch it.* Sheepy: *It doesn't seem like Grif cares that Merlin has entered...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... Hey, quick question, why's your dad our new shag carpet? Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa. Sheepy: Grif: Just don't touch him and you'll be safe. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ....... *already standing in it* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, I guess I'll be goin' to Hell sooner than I intended. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe you shouldn't go at all. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And miss a field trip with Grampa? No way! Sheepy: Bedi: Field trip...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, I was gonna tell you! Grampa's gonna show me where he works! Sheepy: Bedi: I hope you have fun. But be careful, okay? Sheepy: Bedi: I'll worry the whole time you're gone, so don't make my worries come true... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Of course! Grampa kicks ass, no way anythin' would happen! Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you say so. Sheepy: Bedi: No reason not to be cautious. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Of course, babe! Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, um… I’m stuck here… Sheepy: *There’s a cute little octopus with ear-like things on its head, hanging out in the sink. It has itself perched up so it can see everything!* Sheepy: Octopus: You’re stuck here…?! I just want to go back home… My husband’s going to worry, isn’t he…? Hehehe, of course he will. That’s how lovable I am, after all. *It has its front tentacles on its “cheeks”. Cute!* Arsé-kun: Yog: *with his voice coming from.... the entire floor. it's kind of awful,* Then go home, Uncle. Nothing is stopping you. Sheepy: Nyar: My exhaustion is stopping me. Arsé-kun: Yog: That is unfortunate. Sheepy: Nyar: So that's why I'm here. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Ah, I almost forgot. Here, Griflet. Arsé-kun: *[Rip and Tear: Quest completed! hooraaaay!]* Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: *Kay is peering out of his room at all this mess. Nothin' he can do about it.* Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, it's you! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, for fuck's sake. Why are... Never mind, forget it. Fuck this. Sheepy: Nyar: You recognize me? Aren't you talented! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not goddamn deaf! Sheepy: Nyar: Can't you at least call someone for me?! Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, Mop guy! Sheepy: Nyar: You've got a phone, don't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe! Why? Sheepy: Nyar: I've got a number for you to call! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What do I get out of it? Sheepy: Nyar: And believe me, I know you're gonna attempt that whole, "oh, maybe I'll call if you beg me! Oh, make sure to give me free stuff!" Sheepy: Nyar: But I can be extremely loud and annoying! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Me too! Hey Grif, where's Elyan? Sheepy: Nyar: If you don't do it, I won't shut up all night. Sheepy: Grif: He's in the bath tub. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *ahem* HEWWO? Sheepy: Elyan: HEWWWOOOOO! Arsé-kun: Merlin: :3c Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, I'll show you what you get out of t. *He gets out of the sink. Based on his sluggish movements, he's not doing as well as his voice might suggest* Sheepy: Nyar: *He wanders over to the microwave* Chef Mike is gonna get it if I don't get what I want! Sheepy: Nyar: Chef Mike's life for my simple, short phone call! All I need is you to call the number, tell the man where we are, and mention that I'm here and waiting for him. Arsé-kun: Yog: Don't touch that. I use that as a gateway. Sheepy: Nyar: So, you call, then! Arsé-kun: Yog: Me and what physical limbs? You at least have them. Sheepy: Nyar: Or *he puts a tentacle on the microwave* Chef Mike's gonna get it!! Sheepy: Nyar: You've got the influence of everyone here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What if you gave me the number? Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? Oh, right, the number. Sheepy: *Nyar states a phone number slowly.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin plugs it in and makes the call* Sheepy: Nyar: Hehehe.. I get to go home soon... Don't miss me too much, okay? Sheepy: Grif: I won't miss you at all. Arsé-kun: Kay: Get the fuck out of my house. Sheepy: Nyar: ........ Sheepy: Nyar: You might not like me but I like you! Arsé-kun: Kay: Sorry, I'm taken. Sheepy: Nyar: You can only have one person like you? Sheepy: Nyar: Man, you really must be friendless, huh? Arsé-kun: Kay: Ain't anything new. Good try though. Sheepy: Nyar: No, that wasn't an attack. You really only want one person to like you? Sheepy: Nyar: Or do you think I meant it in the lovey-dovey sense? Huh, you must really be full of yourself if that's the case. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't trust you. You're not getting an answer. It'll come back and bite me in the ass, and I'm not goddamn stupid. Sheepy: Nyar: So you say. Arsé-kun: Kay: motherfucker I know how to cook an octopus, you ain't safe. Sheepy: Nyar: If you try to eat me, Chef Mike's gonna get it! Arsé-kun: Kay: You break it, you buy a fuckin' new one! Sheepy: Nyar: No, I'm not! Arsé-kun: Kay: And you can clean it all up yourself! Sheepy: Nyar: I'm not made of money, you know! Sheepy: Nyar: In fact... Ahahahaha! Sheepy: Nyar: I could just steal one and put it n your dorm! Arsé-kun: Kay: ok Sheepy: Nyar:........ Sheepy: Nyar: *he covers his eyes with his tentacles* It's hard to be taken seriously like this.... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... And you're not getting hyped up, either. Fuck you. Sheepy: Nyar: I just want to go home... Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're going to! I just hung up with him. He's coming to get you. Sheepy: Nyar: Great! Sheepy: Nyar: Thanks, you're the best! Sheepy: Nyar:.....How will I do my janitorial job tomorrow...? Arsé-kun: Kay: The same way you did this week- Not at all. Sheepy: Nyar:....... Sheepy: Nyar:....Everything will get so dirty... Arsé-kun: Kay: A little late for that! Sheepy: Nyar:....... Sheepy: *Nyar is chewing on one of his tentacles, similar to how humans chew on their nails...* Sheepy: Nyar: It's going to be so dirty... Arsé-kun: Yog: Perhaps you should have dealt with that before it got out of hand. Sheepy: Nyar: Well if Randy hadn't gotten behind on his work... I would've been done in a flash! Sheepy: Nyar: And if humans actually threw trash into the trash bins, and recyclables into the recycle bin... Sheepy: Nyar:...And compostables into the compostable bin... Sheepy: Nyar: If humans would actually respect the campus grounds and not litter... And cleaned up after themselves... And didn't toss food to animals, only for them to not eat it... Sheepy: Nyar: If humans weren't such messy creatures... Maybe I wouldn't be in this situation! You know, if humans litter enough and don't clean up, they'll spread diseases and all die off! Arsé-kun: Yog: I don't think they need to litter to accomplish that. Sheepy: Nyar: But it helps! I'm helping humans and I get zero thanks! They don't even understand how important my job is. Sheepy: Nyar: Imagine if this place was a dump. That'd be really depressing, wouldn't it? Sheepy: Nyar: To wake up everyday to a dirty campus... Sheepy: Nyar:........Maybe if I threaten their microwaves, too... Sheepy: Nyar: After all, Randy wouldn't let me threaten much more than that... Arsé-kun: Kay: What if you just make people pay a fine when they litter? Sheepy: Nyar: That's not enforceable. Sheepy: Nyar: I'd have to catch them in the act. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes? Sheepy: Nyar: I can't always catch them kn the act. Sheepy: Nyar: I wonder if I'll be laughed at... Arsé-kun: Kay: It'd give you somethin' better to do that won't result in Grif breaking you in half. Sheepy: Nyar: Well... Yes... But... Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, I wonder if he got lost? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Before I lock the door, who the hell is it? Sheepy: Nyar: What? Sheepy: Nyar: A perfectly nice guy! Arsé-kun: Kay: Hm, that knocks out at least half the staff. Arsé-kun: Kay: The music teachers are married, Dio's an asshole, not the gym teacher then... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he is thinking hard* Not my math teacher, definitely not Dr. West, uhhh Sheepy: Nyar: You want a hint? Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh, fine. Sheepy: Nyar: He's very fancy! Arsé-kun: *Kay squints. processing* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun: *this did not help* Sheepy: Nyar:..... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... What?! I don't know every motherfucker on campus! Sheepy: Nyar: He always has his eyes closed... Arsé-kun: Kay: O H Sheepy: Nyar: See! You know him! Arsé-kun: Kay: That makes a lot of sense! No wonder he'd always joke about his husband throwing out trash essays.. Sheepy: Grif: He's covered in so many clocks. I ask him the time sometimes. You may wonder why I don't just read his for myself. Arsé-kun: Kay: Because you can't read. Sheepy: Grif:.....Yes... Arsé-kun: Kay: bitch you know what numbers are Sheepy: Grif: I don't really get clocks... Sheepy: Grif: They have no numbers. Just strange characters. Sheepy: Nyar: Like I, II, III, IV....? Sheepy: Grif:.......... Arsé-kun: *Merlin has been slowly maneuvering over towards Bedi through the Yog Fog this entire time.* Sheepy: Nyar: Those are still numbers!! Sheepy: *Bedi hasn't left his chair* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I, II, II, IL Sheepy: Grif: I know Il. Sheepy: Grif: Grandpa blew his hand off. Sheepy: Grif: He talks about otome games a lot. I don't knw what those are. Sheepy: Grif: He puts off final boss energy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He puts off a "he's gonna kick my ass" energy. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: He grew his hand back and hurt Grandpa's human. Sheepy: Grif: Speaking of which, Uncle. Did you know that you hit Grandpa's human over the head? Sheepy: Nyar:......... Sheepy: Nyar:.................. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, everyone makes mistakes. Even me! Arsé-kun: Yog: Chekov's gun loads with malicious intent. Sheepy: Nyar: I didn't know! Sheepy: Nyar: Like, yes, I knew he favored the detective! But I wasn't really thinking when I knocked him out. You know how it is. Arsé-kun: Yog: Yes, I do. Sheepy: Nyar: He speaks, and immediately you're filled with murderous intent! Sheepy: Nyar: I was going to just knock him out painlessly. Sheepy: Nyar: But then he was like... Oh! This drink smells weird, so I'll pass! Sheepy: Nyar: Obviously, he didn't say that. He brought it to his lips, didn't drink anything, and then said... Sheepy: Nyar: "...I shouldn't drink. I'm on the job." Arsé-kun: Yog: Letting him go without incident would have made things less suspicious. Sheepy: Nyar:..... Arsé-kun: Yog: Hindsight is always much easier to see. I know. Sheepy: Nyar: I kinda doubt that... Sheepy: Nyar: I feel like he would've caught me on something really minor like... Sheepy: Nyar: "Randy actually wears his socks up to here, but your socks are up to there! So clearly, you're a fraud!" Arsé-kun: Yog: .... ...... I hate to admit that you're right, but you're right. Arsé-kun: Yog: That is, startlingly, almost exactly what would have happened. Sheepy: Nyar: Or, "Actually, Randy sits with a lean of x degrees when he's in this mood and it's this time, and you're sitting with a lean at y degrees!" Sheepy: Nyar: And, you know... After a while, you have to wonder, when is he watching people like this? It's kinda creepy, even for me! Sheepy: Nyar: I think he'd mesh better with someone like Hastur or you, really. Arsé-kun: Yog: why would you just Sheepy: Nyar: Because I'm bitter he ditched us and left us to die! Arsé-kun: Yog: great now he's going to show up Sheepy: Nyar: Great! Maybe he can bring me home! Arsé-kun: Kay: Why is my house a cosmic horror whorehouse?! Sheepy: Grif: Because of me. Arsé-kun: Kay: oh. right. Sheepy: Nyar: Which is, of course, because of me! Sheepy: Nyar: Aren't you so happy that I paired you two together? Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... *he looks annoyed* ... Yeah. I guess. Sheepy: Grif: I met the fox boy off the path. He was watching over everyone you knocked out. Sheepy: Grif: I think he's associated with Uncle... Sheepy: Grif: His hair is yellow sometimes. Arsé-kun: *Merlin has succeeded in reaching Bedivere and has lifted him so they can leave. Provided that they get through the rest of the yog fog first. background events* Sheepy: *Bedi is happy!* Arsé-kun: *Finally, a knock at the door! Kay stares at it because what the fuck can he do with Orb Dad being the carpet* Sheepy: Grif: *He gets up and gets the door* Arsé-kun: Germain: Good evening. I'm here to pick up my small husband. Sheepy: Nyar: I'm here!! Sheepy: *Nyar is back in the sink!* Sheepy: Nyar: Let's go home! I'm really tired! I just want to sleep... Sheepy: Grif:......Wow.... Sheepy: Nyar: Why do you sound like you're judging his taste? Sheepy: Grif: Wow.... Someone likes Uncle... I'm glad he finally found someone who does... Arsé-kun: Germain: It sounds to me that you've been woefully uninformed. That's a simple fix. Sheepy: Grif:? Arsé-kun: *Germain proceeds to just go pick up the tiny octopus. He doesn't answer* Sheepy: Nyar: I was worried you'd gotten lost! Or forgotten about me! Arsé-kun: Germain: Not at all, Pharaoh. I had an encounter on the way here that threatened to stop me. Arsé-kun: *Germain does eventually leave with his very diminutive boyfriend. thank fuck*

[b-sidemusic]

INTERVIEW: TUNDRA – ARCTIC THRILL-JUNKIES

One year after they exploded onto the live scene, gigaholic Sudbury-based grunge-surf-punk monsters Tundra return to the venue where it all began as triumphant headlining heroes.  B-Side’s Seymour Quigley caught up with the band to talk biscuits, zorbing and human submarines.

B-Side: Good afternoon, Tundra.  How are you all today? I've just been to the shop and bought some Fox's Golden Crunch biscuits for 50p, so obviously I'm absolutely winning at life.  Can any of you top my astonishing biscuit triumph, or shall we all just give up and go home?

Elliott Rodger-Brown (drums): There is no beating Fox’s Golden Crunch!

Caitilin Pegley (guitar/vocals):  No, I don't think I can beat you there, Seymour.

Elliot Booth (bass/vocals): Yeah, I'm currently helping a friend move house and packing down children's beds with Allen keys.

Caitilin: You've 100% won this.

B-Side:  It's always good to know that I'm starting an interview with the upper hand, because this will most likely become quite gladiatorial once we get to the "physical challenge" section later on.   Now: This Saturday (7th October) you're playing your first big hometown headline show (at The Hunter Club in Bury St Edmunds), pretty much one year to the day after your first ever gig.  How has the last year been for you?  Has it all been a bit of a whirlwind?

Caitilin: Yeah, it's been pretty crazy to be honest with you! We just started the band to have fun and jam together, and we never expected that people would actually like us.

Elliot Booth: It's been pretty messy to be quite honest! Lots of things happening on such a short space of time. Ever since our first gig, supporting Kate Jackson & The Wrong Moves (at The Hunter Club last October) we’ve just been amazed at the support from everyone.

Caitilin: Yeah, everyone has been so supportive.  I don’t think we would have had the confidence to continue and play as we have without all the people in the Bury music scene.

B-Side: As the band's progressed, have your ambitions changed much, or are you still just seeing where it takes you?

Elliott Rodger-Brown: I think we all just see where things take us, and things seem to be moving in quite a good direction!

Elliot Booth: Well, I remember when I first came to see a Washing Machine gig in May 2016 and the headliners were Suburban Minds, they just destroyed the place and people were going mental.  So it was a massive ambition to headline a Washing Machine. And now it's actually happening!

Caitilin: Yeah, I think we're just going with the flow really. It’s a bit scary to set massive goals, but things seem to be going pretty well so far…

B-Side:  Part of what makes you an exciting live band is that you very rarely just show up and play the songs straight, preferring instead to mess around with song structures and dynamics, apparently spontaneously - for instance, I've never seen you play 'Vacation (Cheer Up Chuck)’ the same way twice.  Was that approach a conscious decision, or do you just go with what feels right in the moment?

Caitilin: I think we decided from the first time we played ‘Vacation’ that we wanted to do it differently live.

Elliot Booth: I hate playing the same thing over and over! I mess about with bass lines all the time. I think it's more interesting and exciting for us and the audience because you never really know what's coming up next.

Caitilin: We try to keep things interesting for ourselves!  So yeah, sometimes we just go with it and see what happens on the night with certain songs.

Elliott Rodger-Brown: We rehearse a song to death and then change it at the gig…

Elliot Booth: And if someone messes up then we'll just mock them for it until the week after.  Which has happened to me many times.

Caitilin: We once all played our song ‘PG’ (technically) wrong at the same point at a gig, but we all really liked how it sounded so we kept it in and have been playing it like that ever since!

B-Side: How do you think that approach will influence how you record the songs in a studio?  For instance, if you had to choose between trying to capture the band's live energy in the studio, or going the full Wolf Alice and making a big, expansive, slick-sounding record, which would you choose?  I'm not suggesting it's impossible to find a happy middle ground, but a lot of bands find it tricky.

Elliott Rodger-Brown:  I personally like recording live, as I think it gives the song more energy.

Elliot Booth: I think as a band we love that raw approach. Although lately I’ve started to get ideas for the production of our songs, just added effects and stuff.

Caitilin: Oooh, thats a tricky one! Yeah, I agree with (the others). I think with our upcoming EP, we’re trying to make it as fat and full as possible, but still bringing our energy into it.  We love the raw grittiness of a live recording, especially when things go a bit wrong.

B-Side: So while we're talking about recordings, what's coming up next?  You understand that this was basically a ruse to wheedle confidential information out of you.

Caitilin: Haha, of course it was!

Elliot Booth:  Well on Saturday we'll be playing at least one new song…

Elliott Rodger-Brown:  I think all that can be said is that things will be happening soon.

B-Side: So presuming that you'll continue with the same manic velocity as you have over the last 12 months, what do you hope to have done by this time next year?  Bear in mind that it has to top the last 12 months, so no pressure or anything but basically you have to headline Wembley or you're wasting my time.  "Wembley or Fuck Off", as I've just decided people should say.

Caitilin: Ah man, we need to get that on T-shirts or something.

Elliot Booth:  I think we've spoken as a band about next year, and a (major) festival is the big thing.  Like, that would just be mental.

Caitilin: We would love to play some well-known festivals over the summer like Latitude, but most of all just have fun, really.

Elliot Booth: Headlining the Apex (Bury St Edmunds megavenue, on 9th March) will be sick.

B-Side: Will you be pulling out all the stops for your headline shows?  The Prodigy bust out the zorbs, Rammstein go crowdsurfing in a dinghy, AC/DC drive a steam train through the front of the stage...  It's a big commitment but basically, you have to bring it.

Elliot Booth: Well, we wanna have a party, get everyone pissed and get people to do stupid shit. A shoey will be taking place.

Caitilin: Many a shoey will be done.

Elliott Rodger-Brown: Shoeys will be going around all day long.

Caitilin: I think shoeys trump a steam train. Sorry, AC/DC.

B-Side: Shoeys are basically disgusting, but I have to admire the decadence of saying, "Fuck it, I'm going to drink Bailey's out of my shoe", and then squelching triumphantly home. Also, I'm already looking forward to you gaining a head-earned reputation as the rock 'n' roll band who gave everyone athlete's face.  Tundra, it's been an exceptional pleasure taking part in whatever this was.  Before we go, is there anything else you'd like to impart?

Elliot Booth: Don’t hesitate to get smashed on Saturday. Because we will be.

Caitilin: Blue is greener than purple.

Elliott Rodger-Brown: But green is yellower than orange.

Elliot Booth: A pregnant lady swimming is basically a human submarine.

Caitilin: To be continued on Saturday…

THE LOWDOWN: TUNDRA Members: Caitilin Pegley (guitar and vocals), Elliot Booth (bass and vocals), Elliot Rodger-Brown (drums). From: Sudbury. Listen to: ‘Pretty Bird’ EP, download, out now. See them live at: Bury St Edmunds Hunter Club, 7th Oct; Ipswich Smokehouse, 27th Oct; Ipswich Smokehouse, 28th Oct. Keep up with them on: Facebook - Twitter  

Photo credit: Aaron Sly Photography

[mhdiaries]

Diary of Luna Mothews

My diary is rigged so my antennae will sense if it has been opened by a pest!

My Boo York Adventure-logue

9/30 08:23:52

There were butterflies tickling my belly when I watched the bus pull into the terminal, but now that I’m on my way, I’m flittery with excitement! I think Pops was more nervous than I was. But that’s my Pops for ya: thinking I’m his little caterpillar while totes understanding that I have to spread my wings! Mom kept him from chewing on his collar by reminding him that it’s not like it’s on the other side of the moon - it’s an easy flight for them from my hometown in Boo Jersey. If I didn’t have my luggage weighed down with all my dance shoes and theatre makeup, I’d have flapped over myself. But I’m strangely looking forward to seeing the frights through this grimy bus window the way a wingless monster would; speeding down the Tombpike, going through the Lurkin’ Tunnel, and then hopping a subway train to Times Scare... that’s a real adventure!

Boo York, Boo York! I can hardly believe it! I’m on my way! The lights of Bloodway are luring me. I’m gonna be a star!

9/30 10:37:13

Road travel takes some getting used to - for one thing, it takes for-EVER! Not literally, but I’m still on this bus and I could have flown to the city and back many times by now. And for a second thing, the monsters on this bus are way booring! I think they think they should just sit in their seats and keep to themselves and be polite and stuff. Some of them actually scowled at me when I started convos with them, so I pulled out my guitar and started playing. That really horrified them. It was like they didn’t even want to sing along when I started giving them their assignments! The ogre in the front punctuated his lyrics with growls, but he wasn’t half bad; however, the werecat across the aisle from him was surprisingly high-pitched and breathy. I had to pull her out of her fur, but I got her harmonizing pretty well after a few verses. And once I got half-a-dozen singing, a few others joined in. Plus, a few other monsters pulled out their own instruments. Before long, I had a whole chorus going and everyone started enjoying themselves. Well, everyone except that one ghost, but he was just mad because everyone was treating him like he was invisible.

9/30 11:56:33

I made it to the city and I’m not in the subway waiting for the train. Almost there! Just a few more trains and buses to go. I’m thriller-ed by how many of my bus-mates followed me to my train platform just so we could keep jammin’, but some of them freaked when they realized they were missing their own trains and ran off/flew off/slithered off/evaporated. But that’s ok, because there are already a lot of performers down here singing and dancing and making balloon monsters. It’s spooktacular, and I haven’t even made it up to street level yet!

9/30 15:12:12

Oh, my Pod! 42nd Screech is everything I ever dreamed of! The marquees of all the shows make my antennae tingle with excitement. When I’m a singer on Bloodway, I will go from moth-ghoul to moth-greatness! I’m already having so much fun. As soon as I got off the last bus, I met some fangtastic monsters from Monster High: Draculaura, Frankie, Cleo, Deuce, Clawdeen and Operetta. Oh, and also, Nefera and Toralei. I’m very good at remembering names - I’m sure that’s a sign I’ll be good at remembering my lines too - and I love making new friends wherever I go. I think it’s called networking. Now, to find a job or three.

9/30 17:26:47

Nailed my first audition! So what if it was for a pizza place? Pizza is very popular in Boo York, and a ghoul’s gotta start somewhere. I’ve got a costume and everything - just call me Luna Motheroni. Hah! No, don’t. It pays me in *dough*! Get it? That cracked Pops up when I called him on my iCoffin to tell him his little gypsy moth is settling in nicely. I think I’ll try out some of these lines as I pass out the flyers for the Comet-special combo. Maybe if I get some laughs, I’ll try my wing at stand up too. It’s not Bloodway, but it’d still be on a stage, right?

9/30 20:14:33

Lovin’ all this “cometness.” Monsters are shooting by me like zany stars in a sparkling universe! All the food joints have crazy, comet-fied specials going on. Being a moth, I’m a huge cotton candy fan. Make it wormhole-themed, and it’s like a flame that I can’t resist. I’m also diggin’ the street music. There’s a clawesine DJ across the way. I can only catch glimpses through the crowd, but I think she’s a robot with some kind of holographic keyboard or whatever. However, I can hear her load and clear, and she’s certainly making passing out flyers more of a toe-tapper than an energy-zapper. Although, no one’s ever accused me of lacking ene......

(oh, zap! got totes distracted by a laser light beaming off the DJ ghoul)

lacking energy. Now that it’s getting dark, all of the lights are getting kinda intense. They’re so bootiful, I’m attracted to all of them. I’m fearly going to have to concentrate and maintain focus. It’s good pract..... practice for when I’m in the spotlight on Bloodway.  

10/1 14:42:59

Day of the Comet, Beasties! Got a gig selling boovineers. I project my lines to the frightseers passing by and try to gain an audience, then my co-seller does the rest and rings up their order. I’ve tried singing my lines, making up rhymes, doing a little improv with the customers. I think I have a knack for this. And later I’m going to be working the fancy Comet Gala at the Museum of Unnatural History! I’ll be passing out gore d’oeuvres to some of the city’s most powerful monsters. Maybe I’ll even make some connections to theatre producers, but, if not, i’m sure I’ll have a good time. Just seeing all the different characters who have been invited will be fangtastic. Pops called to check in and when I told him everything I’ve done already and that I’ll be catering tonight, he laughed and said he thinks there must have been a mix-up at the hospital because, instead of a moth-ghoul, he seems to have raised a busy-bee. He’s kind of a moth-ball, but I love him.

10/1 19:02:40

This gala is “ah-maze-ing”! That Mouscedes’ fave word. She’s a rat-ghoul I met here. She’s some kind of princess and she’s way Upper Beast Side, but she’s so nice. I never knew there was so much to learn about cheese! I had a variety of die-lish cheese puffs on my loaded down tray - gore-gonzola, aged ghoulda, fetid - I tried them all before my shift started and they were yum! But when I offered them to Mouscedes, she asked me if they were cheeseless cheese puffs, and I told her they weren’t even puffless cheese puffs, so then we started chatting and I learned she doesn’t do cheese. I told her to stay away from my Pops then, because his sense of humor was pretty cheesy! That’s when she told me her Pops was the Rat King of Boo York! I’m not sure what that means but it sounds impressive! I had to get back to work, but Mouscedes said maybe we could get a coffincino some time. I told her I already bounce off the walls without drinking those, but I’d love to just fang out and she agreed.  

10/2 00:13:17

I guess you could say things took an otherworldly turn tonight! The lights of Bloodway drew me to exactly where I needed to be, just in time to help my new friends... AND I got to be on stage with Catty Noir, one of my fave singers! It doesn’t get more fangtastic than that! I think it’s ok to say my future of stardom shows promise! Speaking of promise, we all made it back to the Museum of Unnatural History in time for the comet to arrive in Boo York, and that brought some surprises of its own. Well, one surprise anyway. And she was stellar! I’m not saying I won’t ever get homesick, but I think coming to Boo York was a bright move. I’ve only been here for 2 days and I’ve already had a few fun jobs, performed on stage, and, beast of all, made new friends. Look out world, I’m ready to fly!